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+{"text":"\n# Cover Copy\n\nAfter a passionless marriage under the scrutiny of high society, Avery Stowe is taking back her life. All she wants is a little privacy and a quiet place to raise her autistic daughter, Hailey. Redwood Ridge, Oregon, seems to offer all the right ingredients. Except for the problem of the local sexy veterinarian. The last thing she needs in her life is to fall for his irresistible allure, even if he is a nice guy who keeps doing her favors. But the well-meaning patrons of her new hometown have other ideas, and it appears playing Cupid is one of them.\n\nCade O'Grady has never met a woman he couldn't handle, but when Avery Stowe walks into his office late one night cradling an injured puppy, he's struck stupid. Which might explain her total lack of interest in him. But now that she's working for his family's clinic, he doesn't have to lust from a distance. He might just have a chance at convincing Avery\u2014and her too-guarded heart\u2014that falling for the right man isn't a mistake . . .\n\nVisit us at www.kensingtonbooks.com\n\n# Books by Kelly Moran\n\nRedwood Ridge\n\nPuppy Love\n\nPublished by Kensington Publishing Corporation\n\n# Puppy Love\n\nRedwood Ridge\n\nKelly Moran\n\nLYRICAL PRESS\n\nKensington Publishing Corp.\n\nwww.kensingtonbooks.com\n\n# Copyright\n\nLyrical Press books are published by\n\nKensington Publishing Corp. 119 West 40th Street New York, NY 10018\n\nCopyright \u00a9 2016 by Kelly Moran\n\nAll rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.\n\nAll Kensington titles, imprints, and distributed lines are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales promotion, premiums, fund- raising, and educational or institutional use.\n\nTo the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.\n\nSpecial book excerpts or customized printings can also be created to fit specific needs. For details, write or phone the office of the Kensington Special Sales Manager:\n\nKensington Publishing Corp.\n\n119 West 40th Street\n\nNew York, NY 10018\n\nAttn. Special Sales Department. Phone: 1-800-221-2647.\n\nKensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.\n\nLYRICAL PRESS Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.\n\nLyrical Press and the L logo are trademarks of Kensington Publishing Corp.\n\nFirst Electronic Edition: February 2017\n\neISBN-13: 978-1-5161-0273-0\n\neISBN-10: 1-5161-0273-8\n\nFirst Print Edition: February 2017\n\nISBN-13: 978-1-5161-0276-1\n\nISBN-10: 1-5161-0276-2\n\nPrinted in the United States of America\n\n# Dedication\n\nThis book is whole-heartedly dedicated to my writing group, The Floozies. Vonnie, Alison, Angel, Auria, Sarah, Dixie, AJ, Mac, Amy & Arial...I couldn't do this without you.\n\nA very special note to my nephew Connor, who lives with Autism and teaches me strength, humor and resolve continually. \n\n# Acknowledgements\n\nA big thank you to the team at Brentwood Animal Hospital, especially Lynn, who made sure I got the veterinarian thing down right. Any errors are my own. And a gracious thanks to my street team member, Raquel, for answering aviary questions and sharing stories.\n\n# Chapter 1\n\nAvery Stowe squinted and leaned closer to the steering wheel, trying to see past the fat white snowflakes blanketing a dark, quiet Redwood Ridge. They sure didn't make storms like this in San Francisco. She supposed her mom's insight on trading in her Camry for a SUV before the move had been the right call. Her sedan never would've gotten them through an Oregon winter. Even her flighty mother had to be right once and awhile. Once, being the operative word.\n\nGrateful to almost be at their destination after two days of travel, Avery chanced a peek at Hailey in the backseat and breathed a sigh. Assured her daughter was still asleep in her booster, she directed her attention to the road.\n\nFour inches had already fallen since they hit the state border. It was insane. Pretty, but insane. Having never been outside of warm, sunny California, this was a culture shock. But...new year, new start. Both she and Hailey needed this.\n\nEven if the new town did look like _Silent Hill_. She checked for creepy zombie things, but found none.\n\nThe sidewalks had been rolled up for the night, the only illumination coming from the old world lampposts lining the two-lane cobblestone street. Avery thought her mom had fallen out of the crazy tree\u2014and hit every branch on the way down\u2014when she moved here ten years ago after inheriting a string of cabins from an aunt they never knew existed. Her mom had been happy, though, and figured Avery and Hailey would be, too.\n\nIt sure seemed ideal on paper. \"Not _Silent Hill_ , not _Silent Hill_.\" Seriously. Where was everybody?\n\nPocketed between the coast and the foothills of the Klamath Mountains, Redwood Ridge was both a tourist hotspot and a charming small town of fifteen hundred residents. It had to have merit if it was able to hold her mother's attention this long. Row after row of small, independent shops lined both sides of the street. It was like stepping back in time to simpler, sweeter days. If only it had people.\n\nTen minutes later, the snow was dwindling and they were on a private road cocooned by cypress, pine, and redwood. It was pretty freakin' amazing, but she'd have to appreciate it more later. In daylight. Right now it looked like the set for _Friday the 13th_.\n\nMaybe she should stop watching horror movies altogether.\n\nThey passed a few larger homes still decorated for Christmas and, five miles down, made the turnoff to the rentals. She pulled up to the first cabin and parked, eying her surroundings. _Not Friday the 13th_.\n\nThat was a yes to no more scary movies. Definitely.\n\nThere were five log cabins in total, evenly spaced and single story, dusted with snow. Cookie cutter in design, each had a small porch and an A-frame slant roof. The first had a warm, yellow glow illuminating the windows and smoke billowing from the chimney. Her mother's car was parked off to the side.\n\nFor the first time in what seemed like ten years, Avery breathed and closed her eyes. No sirens or horns. No conversation or rush. No ex or in-laws to fight. Just...peace.\n\nUntil Jason arrives in his white hockey mask...\n\nOkay, that's it. Nothing but comedy movies from now on.\n\nIt would take some getting used to, but the move would be worth it for Hailey. With her daughter's condition, too much stimulation equaled tantrums and fits. The city life wasn't for them. Maybe Hailey would excel better in this environment. Having her mother close by was a bonus, too. During her childhood, Avery often felt more like the parent in their two-person family as her mother was always off in la-la land. She never lacked for love, though, and right now, she desperately needed support.\n\nIt had been so long since she had someone to lean on.\n\nAvery glanced in the backseat and reached around to tap Hailey's knee. \"Hey, sweetie. We're here.\"\n\nLike a switch, her daughter's dark eyelashes flickered to reveal blue eyes the same color as her dad's. All her other traits had come from Avery. Thick, brown hair and a curvy, lithe frame. Even at seven years old, Hailey was the spitting image of her.\n\nHailey took in her surroundings in the seemingly distracted manner Avery had grown used to since her daughter's Autism diagnosis. Her gaze darted everywhere at once, never landing on one spot for more than a millisecond. After a moment, she squealed and flapped her hands.\n\n_Well done, Mother_ , Avery imagined her saying.\n\nSince Hailey was a nonverbal Autistic, at least so far, Avery often choreographed her own dialogue in her head. It had helped her cope.\n\nShe smiled, pleased Hailey liked what she saw. \"Grandma's inside waiting for us. Would you like to check out our new home?\" At least it would be home until Avery could find them an apartment or small house to rent. Perhaps _not_ next to Camp Crystal Lake.\n\nHailey squealed again and fumbled with the seatbelt, clumsily getting it undone. Avery quickly climbed out of the car and met her daughter by the rear passenger door before she could take off. Deciding to wait until after they saw the place, she left their bags in the car and directed Hailey up the porch steps, careful not to touch her more than necessary.\n\nThe door swung inward before they could knock, and the sight of her mother standing there had tears clogging Avery's throat. Justine Berry might be capricious and unpredictable, but she'd always been there. After everything her and her daughter had been through, Avery just needed...her mom.\n\n\"I'm so excited you're here!\" She bent down at eye level with Hailey, bursting at the seams to hug her granddaughter.\n\nIt went against her mother's instincts not to smother, but Avery knew Hailey's limitations. She had warned her a million times before the drive, just in case she forgot. Her mother and memory lapses were BFFs.\n\nHailey nudged her grandmother aside and rushed into the cabin. _Outta the way, G-ma. Better things to do_.\n\nAvery shrugged. \"She's excited. That's a good thing.\"\n\nIn the next instant, she was wrapped in her mom's arms and squeezed until breathing became impossible. The familiar scent of patchouli filled her nose. She bit back the tears threatening to fall and smiled. \"Hi, Mom.\"\n\n\"At least I can still hug you.\" Mom stepped back and patted her wild, shoulder-length brown hair. She preferred the natural approach to everything, so it probably hadn't seen conditioner or product. In decades. The fine lines around her mouth and eyes had grown deeper in the year since she'd last visited Avery in San Fran, which only added to her mother's charm. She was a woman who laughed often and loved hard. Four ex-husbands were proof. \"How were the roads?\"\n\nAvery closed the door behind her. \"A little slick, but not too bad. Wow, Mom. This place is great.\"\n\nNot B horror movie at all.\n\nThe whole cabin was natural wood and stone and glass. Shiny, clean, and rustic. A floor to ceiling redbrick fireplace created warmth from a corner. Plaid print couches were nestled over the bare wood floor with scarred pine tables. The living room was spacious and separated from the kitchen by an island. Large picture windows encased the back of the open room, where moonlight caught the water trickling in a thin riverbed.\n\nHailey disappeared down a short hallway and squealed. Avery went to follow, but her mom stopped her with a hand on her arm.\n\n\"There's no exit back there and nothing to get into. These cabins are rentals, so they're pretty bare. I did stock the kitchen for you, though.\" She smiled and hugged her again. \"I'm so glad you're here. Ten years and you just now get to see my town.\"\n\nAvery pushed down the guilt and nodded. The past couldn't be helped. \"You did a lot of work on the property, I remember you saying. This is lovely.\"\n\nMom sighed. \"Good contractors and money left in the will took care of it. We're pretty busy year round. I live above my shop in town, but I'll stay with you tonight, if that's all right?\"\n\nHer mother owned a secondhand clothing store she'd named \"Thrifty\" in addition to the rental cabins. As far as Avery was aware, she had someone else manage the businesses. Finance was not her mother's strong suit. She had idealistic dreams and ideas aplenty, but the numbers and details she wisely delegated to others.\n\n\"I'd love it if you stayed the night. It's getting late, anyway.\"\n\nAnd speaking of, Hailey had been pretty quiet the past few minutes. Worry and suspicion mounting, Avery made her way down the hall and found her daughter asleep in one of the twin beds, curled in a ball with her hat and coat still on.\n\nAffection and love so deep it hurt punched her chest. Carefully, she unzipped Hailey's coat, leaving it on so she didn't wake her. Removing her hat, Avery ran her fingers through her daughter's dark hair. The only time she got to openly touch Hailey was when she was asleep, otherwise contact bothered Hailey to the point she screamed. But she had these few quiet moments of the early evening to watch her and stroke her perfect little pale cheeks.\n\nBone tired, Avery barely took stock of the bare wood furniture or bay window before finding her mom in the kitchen stirring a pot at the stove. Stunned still, she waited in the doorway.\n\nMom turned and grinned. \"I made hot chocolate. Go have a seat in the living room. Take a load off. You look wiped out. I'll bring you a cup.\"\n\n\"Is it...edible?\"\n\nMom shook her head, then said, \"I think so.\"\n\n\"Remember that time\u2014\"\n\n\"One fire. That was one fire, Avery!\"\n\nToo exhausted to argue, she grinned, settled in a chair, and closed her eyes, amazed it was so comfortable. The crackling fire and scent of chocolate soothed her, allowing her to sink a bit deeper into her head. Darkness pulled heavy at her consciousness.\n\nThe next thing she knew she was shivering and a cooling cup of cocoa was next to her on the end table. There were mysterious chunks floating in it. Blinking, she straightened. Her mother was asleep in the chair beside her.\n\nWow. How long had they been out?\n\nTaking a moment to stretch before checking on Hailey, she stood and glanced across the room to make sure her mother had turned off the stove. It wouldn't be the first time she'd gotten distracted and forgot. Assured it was off, Avery tried to find the source of the draft circling the room and froze when she spotted the open back door.\n\nNo. God, no.\n\n\"Mom!\" Avery screamed, already halfway down the hall. Her heart hammered in sickening panic.\n\nHailey's bed was empty.\n\nNo, no, no, no, no...\n\nBolting back into the living room, she slammed into her mother and quickly moved around her.\n\n\"What is it?\"\n\nAvery shoved her feet into boots and grabbed her coat. \"Hailey's gone. We fell asleep. I didn't secure the door.\" A mistake she knew better than to make. Hailey took off way too often. Not to run away, but because she lived inside her head and had no concept of danger.\n\nOh, God. Her daughter was out there in the cold, in the middle of nowhere, at night. The region had mountain lions not to mention...\n\n\"Call the police.\"\n\nShe ran for the back door and rounded the house, but Hailey wasn't in the car or on the porch. Avery circled back around, fear clawing her throat as she slammed into her mom again.\n\n\"There's footprints.\" Mom tied a scarf around her neck. \"She went straight into the woods.\"\n\nAvery looked down. A small set of tracks her daughter's size led away from the cabin and deeper into the dense trees. She took off, following the tracks. Cold air rasped her lungs, and her fingers were numb by the time they reached the copse of pine.\n\nHailey was so small. She wouldn't make it long exposed to these temperatures. It had to be in the twenties. Hailey couldn't talk, either. If she needed help, she couldn't ask for it. Avery had done her research before the move. She knew the vegetation and wildlife, knew her daughter was at risk for an animal attack and from what animals. Black bears, mountain lions, and bobcats sprang to mind. Hailey wouldn't know how to defend herself.\n\nTears blurred her eyes. She quickened her pace to a sprint, kicking up snow in her wake.\n\nBe okay, sweetie. Be okay.\n\nThe footprints made a hard right and, as they rounded a bend, the breath left her lungs in a _whoosh_.\n\nHailey was sitting on a stump, her back to them. Her pink coat was still on, but she didn't have her hat. The relief was dizzying.\n\n\"Hailey.\" Avery circled the stump and squatted. \"We talked about this, sweetie. You cannot go running off\u2014\"\n\nThere was blood. Lots of blood. At Hailey's feet. On the front of her coat.\n\n\"Where are you hurt? Where are you hurt, sweetie?\" She ran her trembling, frozen fingers over Hailey's head, down her neck, to her chest, and stopped.\n\nA furry, warm head poked out of Hailey's partially opened coat.\n\nA scream wedged in Avery's throat until she realized it was a dog. No, a puppy. A little, tan-colored fluffy thing. Hailey was rocking it, stroking its head, and jerking her gaze around.\n\nRecognizing the motions as nervous and scared, Avery kept her voice quiet. Hailey would never hurt a living thing, so she had to have found the animal out here. \"You found a doggy. It's okay, Hailey. Is the doggy hurt? Is that where the blood is coming from? Can Mommy see?\"\n\nGently, she lifted the trembling ball of fur from her daughter's grasp and the poor thing yelped. Surprised by the noise in the quiet night, she fell back on her butt in the snow. It couldn't have been more than six weeks old. Seven pounds, max. Sad, scared brown eyes looked into hers and Avery melted.\n\n\"Well, crap on a cracker. You're adorable.\"\n\n\"Avery...its leg.\" Mom jerked her chin toward the dog and shoved her hands into her pockets.\n\nAvery's gaze swept over the animal in the moonlight and eyed what her mother was talking about. The lower half of one of its front legs was severed clean. Blood saturated the fur. Her stomach churned. What could've happened to it?\n\nNausea swirled in her gut. \"You poor thing.\"\n\nHailey began rocking in earnest.\n\nAvery reached over and clasped a hand on her daughter's arm. \"It's going to be okay, sweetie.\"\n\nShe looked at her mom, at a loss. She'd never had a pet before. It was freezing outside and who knew how long the little guy had been hurt out in the woods or how much blood it had lost. By all the red marring the snow, it seemed like a lot for such a small thing. It didn't have tags or a collar. It was doing little more than whimpering and trembling. She needed to get Hailey out of the elements, too.\n\nHer mom unwrapped the scarf from her neck and passed it to her. \"I'll call the O'Gradys. They own the vet clinic in town. Go. I'll take Hailey back to the cabin\u2014\"\n\nHailey shot to her feet and grabbed Avery's jacket, a sound of duress escaping her throat even as her gaze darted elsewhere.\n\n\"She wants to come.\" She looked at her mom. \"Zip her coat, would you? Call the vet. We need to go. This little guy doesn't have long.\"\n\n* * * *\n\nCade O'Grady stared at the tiny gray kitten as it sucked milk from the bottle he held. The furball was small enough to fit in one of his hands. Anger surged again, so he blew out a breath and glanced around the small confines of his clinic office.\n\nIt was late, and he'd decided to stay to catch up on some charts. That was two hours ago, and said charts were still in need of dictations. Good thing he'd stayed or the tiny kitten in his hand would've died, just like its mother and siblings.\n\nWhat the hell kind of person left a box of kittens outside a clinic door in the snow? Cade had no idea how long they'd been in the elements\u2014someone had dropped them by the kennels outside the back door\u2014but the kitten he was currently feeding was the only survivor. He gnashed his teeth, mad enough to kill the SOB if he ever found him.\n\nLuckily, the kitten, which looked like a Brazilian Shorthair, was made of strong stuff. She'd taken to feeding right away and didn't need an IV. In his exam, the temp and BP had been good, all things considered, and he found no outward signs of trouble.\n\nClosing his eyes, he listened to the answering machine kick on from the reception desk outside his office. If it were an emergency, he'd be paged, since it was his week on call. Animal Instincts was a small clinic, started by his father forty years ago and run by Cade and his two brothers since the old man had passed away. Almost nine years now. Hard to believe.\n\nThe bottle empty, he set it on his desk and eyed the kitten. \"You are a cute little bugger.\"\n\nIt mewed in agreement.\n\nHe laughed for the first time all day and rubbed its head. \"Modest, too. I think I shall call you Cutin. Get it? Combining cute and kitten? Cutin.\"\n\nMew.\n\n\"You're right. They should take my man card on the spot.\"\n\nPaws kneading, it settled into the crook of his arm and fell asleep.\n\n\"I'll take that as a yes. Can I get you anything else? A beer perhaps?\"\n\nIt didn't respond. She. _She_ didn't respond. He should stop calling her it.\n\nShaking his head, he pulled a chart closer. His pager went off. He cursed. Just as he reached for it in his scrubs pocket, a pounding rattled the front door.\n\nHe glanced at the kitten. \"Today sucked.\"\n\nShe mewed sleepily to second the thought. _Word! Try having my day_.\n\nRising, he settled Cutin on a pillow in a box on an office chair and checked the pager as he walked to the front door. The banging intensified. He didn't recognize the number, but the woman standing outside the clinic was Justine something-or-other, who owned a resale shop down the street.\n\nHe unlocked the door and held it open. At least the snow had stopped. \"Was it you who paged me?\"\n\nShe rushed inside, followed by a woman he didn't know, and a little girl about eight. \"Yes, I paged.\" Justine pushed dark, windblown hair out of her face.\n\nHe closed and relocked the door against the biting airstream coming down off the mountain.\n\nThe other woman held out her arms. Inside a knit scarf was a puppy.\n\nCade looked down at all the blood on the girl's pink coat. Shit. Kicked into action, he motioned for them to follow. \"This way.\"\n\n\"I'm going to wait out here in the lobby,\" Justine said, her face a suspicious shade of green. \"All that medical stuff... I'll be good out here.\" She sat down hard to emphasize her point.\n\nInside an exam room, he donned gloves, turned, and reached for the animal. \"What happened?\"\n\n\"I'm not sure. Hailey found it in the snow about thirty minutes ago.\" Her voice was hurried, but calm, not showing any signs she was unnerved by all the blood.\n\nGingerly, he set the puppy on the table and unwrapped the scarf, taking stock of the situation. Yellow lab. Male. Eyes barely open. Lethargic. Underweight. About five or six weeks old. Trembling. Leg severed below the knee. Wound clotting and not actively bleeding.\n\nSon of a bitch.\n\nBiting the inside of his cheek, he forced himself to look at the woman. \"Come over here and stand by the table while I get supplies please.\"\n\nDark, cocoa eyes widened at his harsh tone. She turned to the girl. \"Can you sit in the chair, sweetie? I'm going to be right over here.\"\n\nThe girl didn't answer, instead fidgeting and avoiding eye contact. After a moment, she settled into a corner chair. She was probably in shock, too.\n\nWhen the woman sidled up to the exam table, Cade moved away, grabbing a saline IV bag and heating it in the microwave. Pulling out a warming blanket, he plugged it in and slid it under the puppy, then wrapped it around his back. Snatching an otoscope from his pocket, he leaned over to look in the dog's ears.\n\n\"How long was he outside?\"\n\nShe shifted on her feet, and the scent of something fruity wafted in the space between them. Berries of some kind. \"I don't know. We\u2014\"\n\n\"You don't know,\" he repeated dully and checked the puppy's mouth. Gums were pale, but the teeth were fine.\n\nHe inserted a thermometer for a rectal temp and eyed the woman. Though he didn't know everyone in Redwood Ridge, she certainly wasn't familiar. She had a pretty, chubby face, and wavy brown hair that trailed to her shoulders under a knit hat. They were close in age, perhaps late twenties if he had to guess. She was biting her red lips to the point of swelling.\n\nGood. She should feel guilty. Leaving a new pet outside, unattended, was reprehensible. Plus, the puppy showed signs of neglect. By the look of his leg, he had probably been caught in a bear trap. Since they'd come in with Justine, he could only assume she was an idiot tourist renting one of the cabins who didn't know how dangerous the mountain\u2014or what wildlife that came down the mountain\u2014could be.\n\n\"Is he up to date on shots? Any other conditions?\"\n\n\"I'm not sure. It's not\u2014\"\n\n\"Is there anything you _do_ know?\" he barked.\n\nShe closed her mouth and turned her head to check on her daughter, who was now staring at the ceiling.\n\nGuilt for his tone rose in his gut but, dammit, neglecting a dog was lower than pond scum. He'd seen it so many damn times. People got a pet because it was adorable or they were lonely and had no idea how much responsibility went into having one. Then they'd go abandoned or to a shelter, forgotten.\n\nHe was sick of tourists, too. One of the clinic pets was a result of an idiot tourist who didn't bother to return to pick up their one-year-old Great Dane after he'd broken a leg.\n\nPeople really sucked.\n\nAs the youngest of the three O'Grady men, Cade was the affable one. He was generally good with pet owners and could laugh himself out of a bad mood. Today, not so much. He'd had to euthanize old man Kiser's hound dog, the first client he ever had as a vet, lost a two-year-old retriever to a bowel obstruction, and found a box of dead kittens by the back door. Well, all dead but one.\n\nSo today? Today blew. He had no patience left in reserve, especially not for a woman who probably just broke her daughter's heart by putting their pet at risk.\n\nRemoving the thermometer, he noted the temp was low, but not nearly as down as he'd figured. He shoved the buds of his stethoscope in his ears and listened to his heart, lungs and abdomen. Nothing worrisome. BP was good, too. The little guy lifted his head and whimpered when he tried to better examine the leg.\n\n\"I know, little guy. It hurts, huh? I'll getcha something for that in a moment.\"\n\nThe wound had clotted, and though it didn't look infected, the puppy would need surgery to amputate the rest of the leg at the hip joint. First, he had to make sure the animal stayed stable to get an IV into him for fluids and antibiotics.\n\nStraightening, Cade crossed his arms and faced the woman. \"He's in decent condition for now, which is shocking. Vitals are a little low, but good. If he's doing this well in a couple hours, we'll do surgery to remove the rest of the leg. He'll need to stay a few nights for monitoring.\"\n\nCade paused, waiting for her to say something. When she just stared at him with a cross between worry and confusion, he shook his head. \"This is going to be expensive, ma'am.\"\n\nNot that he cared. If she walked out and left the dog, he'd still do what he could to save him. He'd eat the cost. Once the puppy was well again, Cade would try to adopt him out or they'd keep him for a clinic pet. Either way, he wasn't euthanizing an animal just because the leg was shot. Not unless there was no other choice.\n\nShe rubbed her forehead. \"Can he live with three legs? Get around, I mean? I don't know much about\u2014\"\n\nHe ground his teeth. \"People manage just fine with one or both legs amputated, don't they? He's young. He'll adjust. Yes or no, ma'am?\"\n\nStartled, her gaze whipped to his. She'd be a stunner with her huge eyes, pouty mouth, and button nose if he hadn't disliked her on the spot. \"I... I'm not sure I know what you're asking.\"\n\nHe briefly closed his eyes and prayed for patience. \"There's a healing period involved. Money to pay for his care. Are you going to be up for that? Because if not, just leave. Either he's your dog or he's not.\"\n\n\"He's...\" Her brown gaze drifted to the exam table. Surprise flitted in her eyes. She covered her mouth with her hand as tears welled.\n\nNarrowing his eyes, he turned.\n\nThe little girl stroked the puppy's head, her face pressed to the fur on his neck. She didn't say anything, nor did she appear upset, but the puppy sure liked what she was doing. His tail limply thumped the table and his trusting eyes were watching her. They seemed to have a bond already in place, which would make it even crappier if the woman walked out and never came back.\n\nTurning to face her, he raised his brows in question, but she paid him no mind. She watched the girl and the puppy with a tentative smile and shock clearly evident. Why the shock? Kids loved animals. This was their dog, after all. It stood to reason the girl would be upset the little guy got hurt.\n\nEven though she seemed to be having some kind of moment, it was getting late. He needed to get going on an IV. \"Ma'am?\"\n\nShe flinched and looked between him and the table. After a second, she collected herself and wiped her eyes. \"Yes. He's our dog. Do whatever you need to do to help him.\" Her gaze softened once more as she stepped closer to the table and tapped the girl on the shoulder. \"Time to go, sweetie. The doctor here is going to help...him. We'll come check on him tomorrow, okay?\"\n\nHow odd she didn't try to comfort the child. Put her arm around her or offer a hug. Something. The girl had blood down the front of her and had been, no doubt, traumatized by seeing her pet injured. Yet the woman stood there as if she didn't have a heart beating or a compassionate bone in her body.\n\nThis was why he preferred animals to people. \"What's the dog's name?\"\n\n\"Oh. Um...\"\n\nHe sighed. \"Let me guess. You don't know.\"\n\nA sliver of irritation flicked in her eyes before it was masked and she looked to her daughter once more. \"His name is...\" She tilted her head, chocolate eyes glazing over. \"Seraph. His name is Seraph.\"\n\n\"Seraph?\" It was rare someone surprised him anymore. He would've guessed Lucky or Champ or some other clich\u00e9.\n\n\"It's another name for angel\u2014\"\n\n\"I know.\" Still, she just got bonus points. \"Head home. I'll get your info from Justine in the morning. You can come visit during clinic hours.\"\n\nShe nodded and kneeled next to her daughter. \"Come on, sweetie. We'll come see him tomorrow.\"\n\nAfter they'd gone, Cade inserted an IV filled with warm saline to bring the dog's temperature up a little and started antibiotics. He drew some blood and ran a CBC to check platelets, then did vitals again. The little guy took it in stride. Pleased the puppy was doing well, he yanked a chair up to the exam table and pulled out his cell.\n\nDrake was going to be pissed, but this couldn't wait until morning. The dog needed surgery, and his oldest brother was their clinic surgeon. Cade could do it himself, but he didn't want to call in a tech and Drake was better.\n\n\"I'm not on call.\"\n\nCade grinned. \"Maybe I just missed you.\"\n\nThere was a lengthy pause. \"What do you want? And by that, I mean you better be up to your ass in greyhounds needing my cutting expertise. It's almost midnight.\"\n\n\"Got a yellow lab puppy requiring an amputation. Does that qualify?\"\n\nDrake groaned. \"Is it stable?\"\n\nCade bit back the string of insults he wanted to let loose. It wasn't as if he wasn't used to being underestimated. \"I'm not an idiot, you know. I have a degree and everything. I'm even sure I can spell veterinarian if I try real hard\u2014\"\n\n\"I'll be there in ten. Prep the room.\"\n\nCade pocketed his phone and rubbed the puppy behind his ears, earning two thumps of a tail.\n\n\"Seraph.\" He shook his head. \"Your owner is really something. Kinda pretty, too. She gave you a great name, even if she did leave you out in the snow, the big meanie.\"\n\nTwo more tail thumps.\n\n\"I have to go prepare the surgery room for my ornery brother, but I'll be right back. You just hang out here for a minute.\" He stroked the puppy's back. \"I promise we'll get you fixed up. You'll be good as new soon.\"\n\n_Thump, thump_.\n\n# Chapter 2\n\nAfter two anal gland appointments and a lethargic guinea pig rounding out his patients for the morning, Cade walked up to the front desk and eyed his aunt, who was baby talking their clinic dog, Thor. The Great Dane hid under the desk, cowering from She-rah, their evil cat. And evil she was. Charts teetered precariously from the long counter. At least the lobby was empty. It had been a damn crazy morning.\n\n_Squawk._ \"You spin me right round.\" Gossip, the cockatoo\u2014yet another abandoned animal\u2014bobbed his head. One of these days, Cade would have to teach him to say something other than song titles or lyrics. As it was, that's all the bird did thanks to his former owner. That, and tease the cat.\n\nCade scratched his jaw. \"Am I good to go for lunch?\"\n\nAunt Rosa sighed dramatically. Everything was dramatic with Rosa from her red spiky hair to her cheetah print shirt. \"Will you look at this?\" She narrowed her eyes at Thor. \"Grow a pair and come out of there. It's just a cat.\"\n\nShe-rah licked her paw and meowed from the top of the printer, bored by the events. _I bet I can get the dog to lose his bladder. Wanna see?_\n\nThor didn't move.\n\nShaking his head, Cade picked up She-rah, much to her disdain\u2014 _put me down you insolent peasant_ \u2014and set her in the back room. Returning to the lobby, he called for Thor. The hundred and ten pound dog commando crawled from under the desk and hid behind Rosa's chair.\n\nCade lifted his brows. \"Now may I go to lunch?\"\n\nNot that Rosa was their boss or anything, but he and his brothers knew not to rock the boat. For twenty years, their aunt had managed the clinic and acted as receptionist. Poorly, but beggars couldn't be choosers. Rosa was their mother's sister and one of what Cade liked to refer to as The Battleaxes. Their mother, Gayle, Aunt Rosa, and other sister, Marie\u2014also town mayor\u2014ruled Redwood Ridge with an iron fist and oatmeal cookies. They were crazy, meddling women who he loved and feared. Mostly feared.\n\n\"Have you found my replacement yet?\"\n\nHe bit back a groan. Rosa had announced six weeks ago she wanted to retire to do...whatever it was the Battleaxes did. Eat small children, update Redwood Ridge's Twitter page with town gossip, matchmaking...\n\nHe batted his eyelashes. \"How could we ever replace you, Aunt Rosa?\"\n\n\"Can the cuteness. Save it for the ladies.\"\n\nRight. \"No, we haven't replaced you yet.\" He'd have to get an ad in the paper, which would bring out all the crazies or every single woman in a thirty-mile radius. Damn it. He should make Flynn handle the hiring. As the middle brother, he was the most organized. Except he was their traveling vet and wasn't in the office much. \"I'll get on it right away.\"\n\nShe narrowed her hazel eyes and tilted her head, her unnaturally red hair not moving with all the shellac she'd sprayed on it. \"You said that more than a month ago.\"\n\nWell, how was he to know she was serious? It was hard to tell with her. \"I mean it this time. Now can I go to lunch? Pretty please?\" There were only three people on earth he'd bust out the \"pretty please\" for, and one of them was right in front of him.\n\n\"Brent's already at lunch. Go ahead.\" She smacked his ass and waved him off.\n\nBrent being his vet tech. Why didn't Rosa smack _his_ ass? Brent would enjoy it. \"It's really pervy when you do that.\"\n\nShe feigned innocence. \"Love tap your rear end? It's a nice one.\"\n\nHe bit back a sigh. \"You're relation. It's pervy.\" He was two steps from freedom when he remembered something. \"Can you get a hold of Justine from that clothing store down the way? She came in with a tourist who had the injured lab\u2014\"\n\n\"You mean Avery Stowe? She's not a tourist. She's Justine's daughter. Just moved to town with her daughter. Bad divorce. They're staying up at one of Justine's rentals until they can find a place.\"\n\nPerhaps he should've been nicer to her, but she'd caught him at the tail end of a crappy day and the fact remained, she hadn't taken very good care of her pet. Even without the injury, the puppy was malnourished.\n\nPulling on his coat, he reached for the door. \"Can you get a number for her and let her know Seraph is recuperating nicely?\" Not that she seemed to care. She hadn't visited the puppy.\n\n\"No need. Avery called three times this morning to say she'd be in after lunch. Apparently, there was a problem with their moving truck getting lost. Poor woman. No good luck. Plus, the daughter, Hailey, was pretty upset over finding the stray, so it took Avery awhile to calm her down after they left here. They slept in.\"\n\nCade locked in on one word in that whole rant. \"What do you mean, _stray_? It's their dog, isn't it?\"\n\nShe offered him her classical _duh_ look. \"It is now, but not when they found it. Can you imagine that poor little girl coming across a scene like that?\"\n\nHe called to mind the exhaustion edging the woman's chocolate eyes, the way the daughter never spoke, and the way he'd all but jumped down her throat. He'd assumed the worst, which wasn't like him. The woman\u2014Avery?\u2014had rescued Seraph from bleeding out into the snow, alone and scared.\n\nAnd he'd been curt with her for doing the right thing.\n\nShit. He was an asshole.\n\n* * * *\n\nAvery wiped her hands on a dish towel and went to answer the incessant knocking. Hoping it was the moving van, she pulled the door open to find Seraph's vet. \"Oh.\" She took a step back and blinked. \"It's you.\"\n\nThe Jerk, she'd begun to call him in her head.\n\nLooking just as attractive as he had the night before, sans the irritation, his hands framed the doorway as he leaned into them, taking up the whole space. Sandy blond hair, a little on the longish side, curled around his ears and nape. Blue eyes damn near the color of the Pacific in June warily stared at her. A little gray mixed in to keep them from being too potent. His jaw had a day's worth of scruff and the man rocked a set of powder blue scrubs under an open leather coat.\n\nGod. He was an eye-gasm if she ever saw one.\n\nWhen he didn't say anything, her heart started to pound. \"Oh, no. Is...Seraph all right?\" She turned to peek at Hailey, who was doing a numbers app game on the iPad at the kitchen table.\n\n\"He's doing fine. Recuperating very well.\"\n\nHis voice had her pausing, just like the night before, but today it wasn't as angry. It wasn't quite coarse or too deep, but there was a melodic rhythm when he spoke. Great. So his voice was an ear-gasm on top of his too handsome looks. Crap on a cracker.\n\nShe caught herself wrapping the towel around her hand in nervousness and stopped. \"Then why are you here?\"\n\nPushing off the frame, he towered over her five-six height to what had to be six feet. \"I came to apologize. May I come in?\"\n\n\"Um, sure.\" She held the door open wider and glanced at Hailey. If he got upset again or had a naturally loud voice, it could upset her. \"Sweetie, why don't you do that in your bedroom for a few minutes? I'll be in soon.\"\n\nHailey grabbed her device and headed down the hall.\n\n\"She doesn't talk much, does she? For a girl, I mean. Thought they were all chatter boxes.\" He laughed uncomfortably and rubbed his neck.\n\nThe guy had adorable charm in spades.\n\nHis nervousness calmed her a bit. \"She's a nonverbal autistic. Pretty high functioning in other areas, though.\"\n\nHe stilled and pinned her with round eyes. \"I'm fu...mucking this up.\"\n\nShe smiled, more at ease with this version of him. Pretty sweet how he'd caught himself upright before cursing. \"You didn't know. It's okay.\"\n\nGazing heavenward, he crossed his arms. His leather jacket strained against his muscles and movement. \"Look, about last night, I'm sorry. I was rude. I thought you were a negligent owner. I'd had a bad day and took it out on you.\"\n\nAt the risk of sounding like a parrot, she said the only thing that came to mind. \"It's okay. You didn't know.\"\n\nThe flutter in her belly hadn't happened in so long, she was unnerved. Plus, people didn't often apologize to her, and she'd spent so long in the shadow of her ex-husband that she didn't know what to do with Cade's intense stare.\n\nOne corner of his mouth quirked. Too cute to be sexy, but head-tripping just the same. \"You never corrected me. You could've put me in my rightful place in the exam room. Why didn't you?\"\n\nShe glanced at the hallway and back to him. He was still staring as if trying to figure her out. \"Hailey gets nervous around raised voices. I figured we'd sort it out later.\"\n\nHe nodded slowly, a wrinkle forming between his brows. \"Did I upset her?\" He took a step forward and paused as if wanting to reach for her and thinking better of it. He seemed genuinely concerned about Hailey, the look in his eyes sincere.\n\n\"I don't believe so. She was worried about the dog, but I think she filtered everything else out.\" They stood awkwardly for a beat. Now what? \"Can I get you something to drink?\"\n\n\"No. I have to get back to the clinic, but thanks. I wanted to catch you before you came in so I could eat crow.\" One shoulder lifted.\n\nGod. The female species must flock to him. He didn't have a wedding band.\n\nShe tried for upbeat to put them on even footing. \"Without witnesses? It's like the apology never happened.\"\n\nHis face grew a little impish, which made her laugh. Been awhile since she did that, too. \"You haven't met my brothers yet. Or my aunt. She runs the front desk. For now. I'd never live it down if they got to see me removing my foot from my mouth.\"\n\nIt was a nice mouth, too. Full lips, firm. She shook herself just before a tremble could tear through her body.\n\nHe turned for the door. \"I'll see you when you come visit Seraph. He really is doing great. Nipped my stethoscope this morning trying to play.\"\n\nRelief settled deep. \"Okay. I'll be in soon. I had...stuff come up this morning.\" Like the moving van not following her directions and getting lost on the wrong side of the Klamath. They claimed it would be a few days before they arrived.\n\nThey reached for the doorknob at the same time. Their fingers brushed, and it seemed so intimate, she froze. He had big hands. Warm. Then she caught a whiff of something...gastric emanating from him.\n\nShe must've wrinkled her nose or something because he laughed nervously. \"Hazard of the job. That's Ode de Anal Gland you smell.\"\n\nShe pressed her lips together to hide a grin.\n\nHe closed his eyes and shook his head. \"I just keep sticking my foot...\" He sighed. \"I'll see you soon.\"\n\nShe waited until his car was gone before turning toward the hall. The muscles of her cheeks ached and she realized she was smiling. When was the last time that happened?\n\nAfter getting Hailey ready, they drove to the clinic. Hailey was a bundle of excited energy bouncing in her seat. Avery had never thought about getting a pet. Her ex, Richard, wouldn't have allowed one in the pristine house anyway, but Hailey had really seemed to connect with Seraph. They'd have to stop by a store to pick up supplies on the way back. What did a puppy need?\n\nShe opened the door to Animal Instincts and found...utter chaos. Unlike the night before, people filled the waiting room with varying breeds of dogs and cats. And...a snake? Yes, a big, big...\n\nShe chanced a peek at Hailey to see if the loud ruckus bothered her. It was hard sometimes to find her triggers. Car horns and loud music upset her the most. Shouting or raised voices, too. She seemed unfazed by the barking now.\n\nThe clinic was more spacious than it looked from the outside. To the left, the waiting room walls were painted in one giant mural of animals doing human things like cooking or reading. Two large windows flanked both sides to allow light inside. Slate tile was laid throughout, creating a natural feel to the place. She remembered from the night before that the hallway leading to the patient rooms had another mural of dogs walking their owners or cats petting their humans in a cute role reversal.\n\n\"Can I help you?\"\n\nAvery turned to the front desk. The middle-aged receptionist had unusually red hair and her penciled-in eyebrows pinged to her hairline. Her short, round frame leaned over to better see them.\n\n\"Um... We're here to visit our dog. We brought him in last night.\"\n\nThe receptionist's demeanor changed from irritated inquisitiveness to cajoling so fast Avery got whiplash. \"I'm Rosa. I'm the O'Grady boys' aunt. You must be Avery. Your mom and I are good friends. It's so nice to finally meet you.\" She came around the desk. \"And you must be Hailey.\" She squatted in front of her, but Hailey's attention was elsewhere.\n\nAvery didn't like walking around telling people why her daughter was seemingly so rude. In fact, she hated putting a label on her at all, but the only way for others to understand was to explain. Before she could open her mouth, Rosa stood.\n\n\"The rec center has a few other autistic kids, too. Miles and Anya run the place. You'll have to check it out.\" Glancing at Hailey, she spoke to her again. \"You'll like it there, hon. Plenty to do. Make new friends.\"\n\nSadly, Hailey didn't have any old friends. After her diagnosis at age two, their lives had been a steady stream of therapists.\n\nRosa waved her hand and assessed Avery as if plotting. Eyes narrowed, she nodded her head in approval. \"I'll get Cade to take you back to see Seraph.\"\n\nAvery eyed the waiting room. \"You guys are busy. Can we maybe just visit on our own or we can come back...?\"\n\n\"Nah. We're pretty slow today.\"\n\nSlow? Patients were packed like sardines. She hated to see what busy looked like. A cat hissed behind them and batted its paw at a poodle wearing a red bow and an incredulous expression. Two dogs were vying for butt-sniffing rights while two others cowered under chairs. The snake had slowly wound itself around its owner's arm and was climbing the wall near a framed picture of dogs playing poker.\n\nShe shuddered and turned back, but Rosa was already behind the desk and Cade was walking toward them. He'd changed into a darker set of blue scrubs. God. Just...he was all masculine grace as he ate up the distance. Sinewy muscle, wide shoulders, narrow waist. Avery bit her tongue so she didn't swallow it.\n\nHe grinned and, damn, there went her air. \"Come on back.\" He glanced at the waiting room and did a double take. \"George, get that reptile in a cage.\"\n\nWordlessly, they followed him down a long hall and into a back room where crates lined the wall with recovering animals. Yips and feral cries echoed off the walls.\n\n\"This is where we board.\"\n\nShe nodded. The twelve-by-twelve room smelled like wet fur and antiseptic. The walls had a continuation mural of grassy fields and blue sky. Several red fire hydrants were painted among the landscape. Pretty clever.\n\nHailey took off and knelt by one of the crates.\n\nBefore Avery could correct her, Cade strode over and squatted beside her. \"Hold on, squirt. I'll get him out for you.\" After opening the cage, he reached in and removed Seraph, nuzzling the puppy to his broad chest. A cone had been placed around the dog's neck, but Seraph nudged Cade's hand for petting. \"Who's a good boy?\"\n\nOh. Oh, swoon.\n\nShe hadn't had so much as a flicker of attraction in so long she almost forgot the sensation. Her cheeks heated and her belly quivered. A flare of jealousy sparked when Seraph licked Cade's face. The rumble of Cade's laugh had her biting back a moan.\n\n\"Hey, squirt. Can you sit on the floor? Your little buddy might not be up to running yet.\"\n\nAs usual, Hailey took a few seconds to process his words, then dutifully sat on the tile floor. Even her daughter seemed smitten. She squealed and flapped her hands. _Yes, cute doctor man. Whatever you say._\n\nCade gently set Seraph in her lap and, keeping one hand on the puppy, he lifted the other to Hailey. \"I'm going to show you how to pet him.\" He took her hand and used it to stroke the dog's back. \"Just like that,\" he said as if coaxing calm. \"Good. Just stay away from the ouchie on his leg, yeah?\"\n\nAvery made a conscious effort to shut her mouth. Good with animals _and_ kids. Not just kids, but disabled ones. He'd told Hailey what he was going to do before doing it and used a soothing voice for both her and Seraph.\n\nDouble swoon.\n\nCade grinned as Hailey giggled, and then he looked at Avery. \"Best friends already.\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" she whispered. Was she drooling? She cleared her throat and stepped closer. Her heart swelled at Hailey's complete adoration of the dog. \"When can we take him home?\"\n\n\"Tomorrow, if he's still looking good.\"\n\n\"At the risk of you getting upset, I need to know what he requires. I've never had a pet before.\"\n\nA flash of irritation lit his eyes before he blinked it away. He stood and dusted fur from his pants. \"I'm sorry about last night. How I behaved wasn't me. Don't be afraid to ask me questions.\" As if in afterthought, he added, \"I won't bite.\"\n\nWhat. A. Shame. _Bad, Avery_!\n\nStaring at her with intense, unwavering eyes, he sighed. \"You'll need a leash until you can train him to mind commands. A couple of dog bowls for food and water. Toys, especially ones he can chew on until...\" He rubbed the back of his neck. \"Know what? I'll take you out to the supply place and steer you in the right direction.\"\n\nHer jaw dropped. Again. \"You don't have to do that. If you just make a list\u2014\"\n\n\"How's seven tonight? We close at six. That'll give me time to shower.\" Though his tone was genial, it brooked no argument. He held her gaze, patiently waiting for an answer. When she didn't say anything\u2014because how long had it been since someone offered to go out of their way to help?\u2014he jerked a thumb at the door. \"I've got to get back to the patients, but meet me here at seven, yeah? I'll send Rosa in to help Seraph back into the kennel when you're done.\"\n\nWith that, he strode out, all alpha-male goodness.\n\nThe move and pressure he'd put on her reminded her of Richard. But Cade wasn't like her ex. Where Richard was controlling and cold, Cade was confident and warm. His mood today was a vast cry from the brash guy she'd met last night. She wondered which version was the real man, and then remembered the self-depreciating humor and the way he'd smiled with even his eyes.\n\nRosa opened the door and the barking started anew. \"Hush,\" she called and went right to Hailey. \"Time to put him back, but you get to take him home tomorrow. How exciting.\"\n\nHailey jerked her gaze around the room, upset.\n\nAvery patted her arm through the coat. \"They'll take good care of Seraph, sweetie. We'll see him tomorrow.\"\n\nRosa eyed Avery skeptically. She got the suspicion she was being dissected again, but had no clue why. \"How are you settling in? Redwood Ridge is quite the difference from a big city.\"\n\nAvery nodded. \"It is, but it's very pretty. It'll just take some getting used to.\"\n\n\"Have you found a job yet? Your mom said you were looking.\"\n\nShifting her gaze from Hailey\u2014who walked past the kennels\u2014to Rosa, she shrugged. \"I haven't had a chance yet.\" She'd been out of the workforce so long she didn't think she'd be hirable. Her savings would only stretch so far. \"Do you have a medical clinic in town?\"\n\nRosa pursed her lips. \"We've got Dr. Brad Crest at the edge of town. Otherwise you'd have to travel forty miles north. Why?\"\n\n\"Well, I've been a stay at home mom since Hailey was born, but before that I managed a cardiology practice.\" In fact, Richard had insisted she resign to remain at his beck and call for fundraisers or business dinners. He'd just used Hailey as an excuse to isolate her even more from society.\n\nShe squared her shoulders. Richard was a jerk of epic proportions, but she couldn't lay all the blame on him. She hadn't stood up to him or challenged his orders. But she'd gotten Hailey because of the sham of a marriage, and they were starting fresh. No sense dwelling on the past.\n\n\"Dr. Crest has a nurse and receptionist, so you're out of luck there.\" Rosa raked her gaze over Avery and nodded. \"You'll do. You're hired.\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\nRosa shrugged as if she hadn't just knocked Avery on her ass. \"I'm retiring. Cade's been dragging his heels finding a replacement, and you have experience.\"\n\nShe rubbed her forehead. \"I have experience in healthcare, not veterinary medicine. You haven't even checked my references.\"\n\n\"Don't need to. You're Justine's daughter, which is good enough for me. Besides, you're not going to be treating the animals, just running the office.\"\n\n\"True, but\u2014\"\n\n\"When can you start?\"\n\nAvery opened and closed her mouth several times. She did need a job and, though she hadn't been employed in a long time, it was work she could handle. It seemed a little too good to be true. She glanced at Hailey as she sat in front of Seraph's crate. Avery needed to get her enrolled at the elementary first, plus find someone for after school care.\n\n\"Um, Monday?\" She looked at Rosa, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat. \"What about my hours or salary or insurance?\"\n\n\"We're open from eight to six, Monday through Friday, and eight to noon on Saturdays. The office is closed on Sundays. You'd have Saturdays off, as that's just an emergency day for on-call. We'll get you enrolled in insurance right away, but you'll have to wait sixty days for it to be active. What are your salary requirements?\"\n\nHead spinning, she tried to recall what she made at the cardiology practice and quoted that number. \"Are you sure about this? It's awfully fast and you just met me.\"\n\nRosa slapped her shoulder. Avery nearly toppled with the force. \"Welcome to Redwood Ridge. Small town life is different than where you came from. We look out for each other around here. Word of mouth is grail and everyone knows your business.\"\n\nRight. Right, okay. Wow. She had a job.\n\n\"Come on. I'll show you around and introduce you to everybody.\"\n\nAvery called for Hailey and followed Rosa to the front desk. Charts were piled on every available surface, the phone rang off the hook, the waiting room spilled with patients, and a giant dog was cowering under the desk.\n\nA white bird with pretty yellow feathers standing straight up on its head ruffled its feathers from a stoop near the window. _Squawk._ \"Welcome to the jungle.\"\n\n# Chapter 3\n\nCade stood next to Flynn in his brother's office in front of the lightbox, staring at the x-ray for a Yorkie who'd eaten a ball of yarn. \"Crazy, yeah?\" His hands moved quickly to sign the words.\n\nFlynn nodded. \" _Wrapped completely in the intestinal track. Drake's got another surgery on his hands.\"_\n\nCade turned at the knock on the door. Because Flynn was deaf, most people didn't bother knocking. Aunt Rosa walked in, followed by Avery and Hailey.\n\n\"Meet Avery Stowe, your new office manager. She starts Monday, so consider this my notice.\"\n\nCade's gaze darted between Avery and his meddling aunt. Avery shuffled her feet, her cheeks pink as she stared at the floor. He and Flynn exchanged a look. Cade signed, \"She's the one who found the stray last night.\"\n\nFlynn grinned, the asshole. \" _The one that had you bumbling like a hormonal teenager? Nice. You're right. She's pretty.\"_\n\nHe sighed. This is what he got for talking to his brother. About anything. \"Shut up.\"\n\nAvery cleared her throat, then she...well, shit. She signed and spoke simultaneously. \"You're deaf?\"\n\nFlynn nodded as Cade reared. Not a lot of people knew sign language. Flynn could read lips if he was facing the person, which was how he typically got around the language barrier in the practice.\n\n\"You can sign?\" Which meant she'd understood the brief exchange between him and his brother. Wonderful. He just kept shooting himself in the foot.\n\n\"Yes. I learned how to communicate with Hailey, since she's nonverbal. Sometimes she signs when she needs to say something.\"\n\nCade was floored she was courteous enough to sign and speak at the same time for Flynn's benefit. And then he processed what she was doing here. \"You hired someone without asking?\"\n\nRosa crossed her arms. \"You weren't gonna do it.\"\n\nFlynn was more amused than Cade. \" _Does she have any experience?\"_\n\n\"I worked in a medical practice before staying home with Hailey. I'm a quick study.\" She was biting that pouty lower lip of hers. Her dark eyes bespoke more than simple nervousness, though. Like she had something to prove.\n\nFlynn nodded. \" _Good enough for me. Welcome_.\" He offered Cade a raised brow that said, _this should be fun_.\n\nCade returned it with his own _shut-up_ - _or-die_ scowl. He scratched his jaw, knowing he had no say in the matter, anyway. It wasn't as if he was against hiring Avery, but it would've been nice to be consulted.\n\nRosa turned for the door. \"I'm going back up front. Take her to meet Drake, would you?\"\n\nThough spoken as a question, Cade took it for the order it was intended. What in the hell was his aunt up to? Before he could comment, his tech, Brent, strode in. Hell, now it was a party. He pinched the bridge of his nose.\n\n\"You are all caught up.\" Brent sized up Avery with the kind of flare only an openly gay man could pull off. \"And who is this?\"\n\n\"Avery, meet Brent, my tech. Brent, Avery is our new office manager. Apparently.\"\n\nBrent's eyes lit up. \"Fresh meat. Hurray. Have you met Gabby yet? She's the other tech. You'll love her!\" He took Avery's hand and started to drag her from the room.\n\nAvery laughed and dug her heels in. \"I have my daughter with me. Hold on.\"\n\nThat laugh made Cade's gut do something twisty. \"I can watch Hailey for a couple minutes.\" Her _are-you-serious_ expression matched his internal _what-the-fuck_. Like he knew anything about kids. Still, he nodded. \"Drake's in surgery, so Hailey can't go back there. Gabby's assisting.\"\n\nBrent, as if just noticing the tiny human in the room, clapped his hands and knelt in front of Hailey near the corner. \"Hello. Aren't you a cutie pie? Gorgeous hair, too.\"\n\nThe only sign of acknowledgement Hailey offered was a half wave as she stared at the ceiling. It was more than Cade got.\n\nMore hot as hell lip chewing from Avery. \"Maybe I should just wait until Monday to meet everyone else.\"\n\nHell, she'd only be gone a few minutes. How much damage could he do to Hailey's little psyche in that time? \"Brent says I'm caught up, so go ahead.\" He looked at his tech. \"Tell Drake about the Yorkie. He needs surgery.\" Then he thought it over and decided to tell Drake himself. The case was complicated.\n\nFlynn, as if sensing the thought, tapped his shoulder. \" _Go ahead. I got the kid_.\"\n\n\"Are you sure?\" Avery eyed Flynn as if begging him to change his mind, giving Cade the impression she didn't leave Hailey in others' hands often.\n\n_\"I promise to not let her play with syringes_.\"\n\nAvery laughed, which was twice now, and he hadn't recovered from the first. She told Hailey she'd be back in a minute and allowed Brent to take her by the arm down the hall. Cade followed.\n\nBrent gave her a mask. \"Just hold this over your face and don't touch anything. And no matter what Dr. Drake says, he's happy to have you working here.\" He leaned in conspiratorially. \"He's broody.\"\n\n\"Got it.\" Amusement lit her dark eyes and, for the first time, Cade noticed the small hazel flecks mixed in with all that chocolate.\n\nBrent knocked once and strode in with a flourish. \"Dr. Drake, Gabby, this lovely doll is Avery, our new office manager. Gabby, we must do drinks tonight.\"\n\nGabby didn't look up. \"Can't. Got plans with my cousin. And I told you I'm never drinking with you again.\"\n\n\"Never say never.\"\n\n\"I mean, _never_.\" She peeked over her mask. \"I still can't eat nachos.\"\n\nAvery's hand shook where she held the mask. Her olive skin tone had lost some of its hue. As office staff, she probably wasn't used to seeing an open operation and had a weak stomach for blood. His aunt was the same way. Cade hoped she didn't yak all over the room.\n\nCade held the mask over his mouth and leaned on the doorframe. It looked like Drake was ready to close up on the Bullmastiff who had a tumor.\n\nDrake never lifted his dark head from his task. \"I'm in surgery. Go away.\"\n\nBrent sighed. \"Translation: Avery, it's nice to meet you.\"\n\n\"That's what I said.\"\n\nGabby's blue eyes slid to Avery, a smile in them. \"Hey there. We're almost done. Are you new to...? Damn. Cade, she's gonna\u2014\"\n\nPass out cold on the floor. Down went Avery in a heap. _Shit._\n\nBrent blinked in awe. \"How southern belle of her.\"\n\nDrake growled. \"Damn it, Cade. Get her out of here.\"\n\nAs if he was the one who'd brought her in the first place, but he was already at her side and cradling her head. Silky brown hair spilled over his hand and her berry scent rose up over the antiseptic. He lifted her in his arms. \"Get the door, Brent.\"\n\nCarrying her down the hall to his office, he tried to ignore the softness of her body against the hard planes of his. Dark lashes fluttered and lifted. He set her on the couch and asked Brent to get a cool cloth, never taking his eyes from her.\n\nHe lifted a strand of hair from her face as her eyes cleared of confusion. \"Hey. Lie still for just a second. You fainted.\"\n\nShe gasped. \"I did not.\"\n\nHe fought a grin. \"Afraid you did.\"\n\nShe tried to sit up and he let her, removing his hand from her shoulder. Glancing around the confines of his cluttered office, she winced. \"How humiliating.\"\n\nBrent strode in and offered her a wet cloth. \"Personally, I thought it was entertaining. I mean, swoosh. Like a feather, you fluttered down. Don't like blood then, doll?\"\n\nShe dropped her head in her hands and sighed. \"I guess not. I don't have much experience with it. I'm so embarrassed. I was fine last night with Seraph, but I guess I was too panicked to notice.\"\n\nCade looked at Brent. \"Tell Flynn we'll be a few more minutes.\"\n\n\"Oh God. Hailey\u2014\" She tried to stand.\n\n\"Uh-uh.\" With his hands around her wrists, he coaxed her butt back on the couch. \"She's fine. Sit for a few.\" He used his soothing tone reserved for cray-cray animals because her eyes were wide and the pulse in her throat beat double time. He casually pressed two fingers to her inner wrist and took her pulse.\n\nWhen he looked up, satisfied her heart rhythm was normal, her round cheeks were infused with red and she avoided his gaze like he was the second coming of the bubonic plague. He kept his hands where they were, in hers, rubbing his thumbs over her palms. Her skin was soft in comparison to his rough calluses. His own heart rate sped at the contact.\n\n\"Does your head hurt at all? I don't think you bumped it.\"\n\nShe shook her head, looking at her lap. Not shy, but obviously mortified.\n\nHe got the impression she hated\u2014or was unused to\u2014attention. With great regret, he let her go and stood as he was only adding to her embarrassment. \"I'll get you some juice. Stand by.\"\n\nHe poked his head in Flynn's office. Hailey was sitting cross-legged on the floor, arranging his brother's paperclips into neat rows.\n\nFlynn looked up from next to her. \" _I think we need to hire her, too. Great attention to detail.\"_\n\nCade laughed. \"You can send her back to my office. Cover my patients for a few, would you?\"\n\nHe strode to the break room, snatched a small bottle of OJ, and went back into his office. Avery had zipped Hailey into her coat and was tying a scarf around her neck.\n\nHe handed her the juice. \"Take a few sips before driving.\"\n\nShe nodded and uncapped the bottle, obliging him. The column of her throat worked a swallow and his gaze landed there. He wondered if she'd tasted as good as she smelled. Strawberries or melon. Something summery.\n\nRecapping the bottle, she finally met his eyes. \"Thank you. I'm sorry about...\" She waved her hand.\n\n\"Happens to everyone. Now we know not to put you in surgery.\"\n\nShe tapped Hailey's shoulder. \"Let's go, sweetie.\" Her gaze landed on his and away, so unlike the confident woman he'd met at the cabin today. \"I'll see you on Monday.\"\n\n\"Tonight.\" At her raised brows, he elaborated. \"Pet supplies. Instead of meeting here, I'll pick you up. Still seven?\"\n\n\"Yes, that's fine. Thank you.\"\n\nFrom his position in the doorway, he could just make out her retreating form as she passed the front desk.\n\n_Squawk._ \"Pretty woman.\"\n\nIndeed. She wasn't a sultry bombshell and not quite the girl next door, either. A conundrum. One minute she was all mama bear, the next she was tender, watching others with her kid. She had a sense of humor, displayed confidence, and yet he sensed a vulnerability she'd probably deny. Fascinating.\n\nFlynn walked by and slapped a chart against Cade's chest. \" _My Precious is acting 'off,' room five. Brent's in surgery with Drake. Gabby and I are hitting the road.\"_\n\nCade nodded. Flynn and Gabby traveled most of the day to local farms or elsewhere on home visits. They were getting a late start today.\n\nHe eyed the chart. Owners who brought in animals claiming to be \"off\" was code for: single woman alert. They only booked an appointment and used their pets as an excuse to make a play for the vet. He was used to it. A piece of meat. Ten grand said there was a plate of cookies or a casserole up front waiting for him. Just about every available female\u2014and some unavailable\u2014seemed to think the way to his heart was through his blood sugar levels.\n\nDrake had been a widow for almost four years now and, once most women figured out the broody fa\u00e7ade wasn't, in fact, a fa\u00e7ade, they moved on. With Flynn being deaf, a lot of potential dates passed him by because some people were just that damn shallow. Cade wasn't vapid enough to deny he and his brothers were attractive, or so Redwood Ridge's Twitter profile claimed, but it was Cade that got the most attention.\n\nThe funny one. The easy guy.\n\nThe good time.\n\nScrubbing his hands over his face, he sighed. Eying room five, he strode down the hall. _Slab of beef, coming right up_.\n\n* * * *\n\nAfter Avery got Hailey registered for second grade and talked with the special needs teacher on staff, she drove across town to her mom's clothing store to figure out after school care. Back in San Francisco, Hailey attended classes in the mornings and had therapists come to the house in the afternoons. Avery was always there. The only babysitter her daughter ever knew was a nanny they'd used when they'd had to attend a function for Richard.\n\nShe rubbed her forehead. This was a lot of change for Hailey all at once. New town, new home, new school, and now Avery wouldn't be with her as often as she was accustomed. For the longest time, it had been just her and Hailey. She'd been in Redwood Ridge less than twenty-four hours and she'd had more offers of help and welcome than the span of Hailey's life combined.\n\nThat was a tough thing to get used to\u2014ceding control. Hailey wasn't like other kids. Even leaving her with a sitter just to run to the store was a project. Plus, Avery feared she'd lost a lot of her social skills in the past few years, first with Richard being embarrassed by Hailey and wanting to keep her hidden, and then by the eighteen months it had taken for the divorce to go through. Rejected and emotionally drained, Avery hadn't had many friends during her marriage and had even less when she'd left Richard.\n\nShe pulled into a parking space in front of her mother's building and cut the engine. Pocketed among a row of other stores, it was similar in appearance. Small, brick, and two-story, it was square in design with a dark green awning over the front door. People milled about at caf\u00e9 tables or strolled the cobblestone walk, chatting, despite the chill in the air.\n\nExiting the car, she inhaled pine and snow while getting Hailey unbuckled. A thick fog blanketed the mountains in the distance, bringing a slightly humid quality to the air. A tang of brine hinted from the nearby ocean. It was another world from what she'd been used to, but she found herself liking it, the freshness.\n\nHand in Hailey's, she strode into the store and sought out her mom at the front desk. Scarves and hats lined the back wall in front of ten or so round racks with vintage clothes. It smelled old, like musk and time. Two other women hovered near the register. The chatter died when she stepped over.\n\n\"Oh, Avery.\" Mom pressed a hand to her chest. \"We just heard. Are you okay?\" She came around the counter and squeezed the breath from Avery's lungs, bathing her in patchouli.\n\n\"I'm fine. Heard what?\"\n\n\"About you fainting, of course. Rosa tweeted about it and I was just about to call.\"\n\nHer cheeks heated. She still couldn't believe she'd passed out right in front of everyone. And what did she mean Rosa had tweeted about it? Avery looked at the other two women close to her mother's age, a combination of curiosity and avid interest in their eyes.\n\nOne of them patted her arm as if to say, _poor dear_. \"It's all over the thread. How are you feeling? I'd drop like a fly, too, if they made me watch a surgery.\"\n\nThe vets hadn't made her do anything, and Avery had no way of knowing she'd respond that way. Still, mortification scorched her cheeks. \"Um, I'm fine. Why did Rosa tweet about me? I don't understand.\"\n\nThe woman laughed as if to say, _silly, silly girl_. \"Why, everything is news around here. Rosa's my sister. She manages our Pinterest boards and Twitter account. I'm Marie, the mayor of Redwood Ridge. Welcome to our great town.\"\n\nCrap on a cracker. Avery darted a glance at her mom, but no. She hadn't stepped into the Twilight Zone. She was really standing in her mother's store talking to the mayor about passing out not two hours before. Because it was on Twitter.\n\nShe cleared her throat. \"Thank you.\"\n\nThe other woman extended her hand. \"I'm Gayle, Rosa and Marie's sister. My sons are your new bosses.\"\n\nOh. Oh God. She saw the resemblance to Cade and Flynn now. Flynn had her coloring with reddish hair and pale skin. Cade had her blue eyes, gray flecks included, and her impossibly long eyelashes. \"Very nice to meet you.\"\n\n\"What brings you by, honey?\" Mom scooted back behind the counter.\n\nWould this conversation go on Twitter, too? She eyed the other two women, but they seemed in no hurry to leave. Was nothing private in this town?\n\n\"I just got Hailey registered for school, but I need to figure out care afterward. I'll still be at the clinic when she gets out.\"\n\nMom fluffed her already wild brown hair. \"That's easy enough. I can pick her up and bring her back here.\"\n\nAvery opened her mouth to protest when Marie inserted, \"Or you could have her attend the recreation center afterward. Some of the kids take the bus right there.\"\n\n\"Oh, I don't know.\" Avery glanced at Hailey. \"She's...\" Not like other kids. Different. She didn't want to say that aloud to strangers or make Hailey feel like an outcast. \"Her needs are pretty particular. Everyone right now is unfamiliar to her.\"\n\nMarie waved her hand. \"Pah. Strangers are friends we've yet to meet. Miles and Anya have other special needs kids at the center, too. She'd be in good hands.\" She whipped out a cell phone from her Samsonite-sized purse and thumbed a text. Her dark brown bob didn't move as she bent her head. \"There. All taken care of. They'll expect her on Monday after school. You should stop by today to introduce her, though.\"\n\nAvery forced her jaw shut, teetering between anger and shock. A pounding thumped her temples. This was her life, her daughter, and she'd spent enough time under her ex's rules to ever go back to someone else running her life.\n\nBoth Marie and Gayle knelt in front of Hailey and started talking to her as if they were old friends. Even though Hailey didn't converse, the ladies weren't deterred. In honesty, Richard's family and friends ignored Hailey, so the fact that anyone acknowledged her took the anger right out of Avery's sails.\n\nThis wasn't the first time, either. Flynn and Brent had made it a point to address her. They all seemed to know Hailey was autistic, probably because of her mom\u2014or Twitter\u2014but they didn't act uncomfortable. They... _included_.\n\nHailey ate up the attention, flapping her hands and letting out one of her rare barks of laughter. Avery's chest swelled, her throat going tight.\n\n\"We'll...\" Avery cleared her throat. \"We'll stop by the rec center to check it out. Thank you.\"\n\nMarie rose. \"No problem at all. You pop by my office or drop me a call should you need anything. Ta, Justine.\"\n\n\"Bye-bye.\" Mom sighed dreamily as they disappeared down the walk. \"I told you this place was great, didn't I?'\n\nAvery shook her head, not sure if she was being Punk'd. \"Twitter? I was on Twitter?\"\n\nMom looked at her as if she were the crazy one. She tapped out a few keys on the computer and waved her over.\n\nAvery made her way around the counter and looked at the screen. Sure enough, there was the @RedwoodRidge account. The banner was a wide pan of the main strip, and the profile picture was a sketch-drawn map with a tiny dot indicating the town. The most recent tweets were like that from a gossip rag.\n\nWord is our sexy fire dept will be doing another car wash this spring. Rawr, ladies!\n\nDr. Cade says the PB butter cookies are his fave. Dr. Flynn says choc chip. Dr. Drake had no comment. Psst, it's snickerdoodles!\n\nThe RR marching band needs new uniforms. Buy candy bars, peeps!\n\nWildlife is so gorgeous!\n\nAttached to that last tweet was a picture of what looked like a ranger leaning against a cypress and wiping his sweaty brow with his forearm. Lordy. Were all the men in Redwood Ridge hot? The veterinarians were.\n\nNew gal in town, Avery, fainted right in our OR. Poor thing!\n\nAvery rubbed her forehead, her gut churning. There were fifty-three @ responses ranging from _oh no_ to _the_ _dear lass_ to _hope she's okay_. She pulled out her phone, followed Redwood Ridge, and tweeted: _Doing great. Thanks for the concern!_ Jeez. She had one hundred and twenty-one new followers.\n\nThis _was_ The Twilight Zone. In Mayberry.\n\nShe needed to get out of here. Stimulation overload.\n\nAfter giving her mom a hug good-bye, she drove to the rec center to check it out. It was everything the mayor said it would be. They had several after school programs, and the woman who ran the center, Anya, had special needs experience. Figuring she'd give it a try, Avery signed Hailey up and checked the time.\n\nThey only had an hour before Cade was supposed to pick them up to get pet supplies. They'd been living on fast food the past two days while driving, but there wasn't time to make a decent meal and still be ready.\n\nShe drove through a hamburger joint and parked outside an ice cream shop so they could eat in the car. Avery mentally added another twenty minutes to her yoga tomorrow morning to make up for the food. She'd always been just north of chubby, but it seemed after she'd delivered Hailey, the pounds just kept tacking on.\n\nRichard hadn't wanted to have sex until she'd gotten back to her pre-pregnancy weight. He'd also attended all functions alone until the result of nearly starving herself and a rigorous workout routine got her back into a size twelve. Richard might be gone from her life, but the rejection and ugly feeling remained.\n\nShe longingly looked at the ice cream parlor and decided to go back to her healthy lifestyle tomorrow. A few days' setback wasn't going to kill her. Turning in her seat, she grinned at Hailey. \"How about dessert, sweetie?\"\n\nHailey squealed. _Sugar! Sugar, now!_\n\nThe kid at the counter was about sixteen and in that awkward stage of gangly limbs before his body filled out. He looked bored to be there, but welcomed them with a drone greeting.\n\n\"I'll have a scoop of...\" Oh God. They had rocky road. Rocky road was kryptonite. \"Uh, vanilla.\" Sigh. Cut at least a couple calories. \"And do you have anything nondairy?\"\n\nThe teenager rolled his eyes. \"Dad!\"\n\nA portly man in his fifties strolled out of the back and wiped his hands on an apron. \"Well, hello. I'm Hank. New in town? Just visiting?\"\n\nAvery went through the spiel about being Justine's daughter and just arriving.\n\nHe rubbed his bald head, a habit he seemed unaware of doing. \"Heard you took a tumble at the animal doc. How are you?\"\n\nShe resisted her own eye roll. Had anyone _not_ heard about her embarrassing intro to her new job? \"Great, thanks. I was wondering if you had anything nondairy? Hailey here gets rather sick from milk products.\"\n\nThe teenager walked to the freezer and scooped vanilla into a dish.\n\n\"Nothing frozen, I'm afraid, but I've got some cookies from Sweet Tooth down the road.\" He set a couple cookies in a bag and handed it to Hailey over the counter. \"On the house.\"\n\n\"Oh no. I want\u2014\"\n\n\"Nonsense. On us. Next time, we'll have something she can eat. How's that?\"\n\nGod. Everyone was so... _so nice_. \"Thank you.\"\n\nStill shell-shocked and contemplating whether the town was really inhabited by _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_ , she edged her car to the outskirts. Dusk was descending, bringing a nip to the air and making the shadows longer. As she pulled up to the row of rental cabins, Cade unwound himself from the porch steps and rose.\n\n\"Crap on a cracker, that man is sexy.\" He had on a pair of well-worn jeans, snug in all the right areas, and a T-shirt under a waist-length leather jacket. His dark blond hair was windblown and brushed his brow. She shook her head. \"He's your boss, you nutcase. Get a grip.\"\n\nHailey squealed _. I heard that, Mommy_.\n\nAs she unsnapped Hailey from the backseat and turned to face him, he...grinned. At Avery, then at Hailey. The breath left her lungs, and she got a little lightheaded again.\n\n# Chapter 4\n\nCade used his rearview mirror to glance at Hailey in her booster, then turned his attention back to the road. The pet supply place was forty minutes north, but Hailey seemed content with an iPad and headphones. It was odd seeing a little person in his backseat.\n\nHe cleared his throat. \"If you don't mind me asking, where's her dad? You're from San Diego, right?\"\n\n\"San Francisco.\" Avery turned to check on Hailey and resumed her spot in his passenger seat. \"I got full custody in the divorce.\" She went quiet for a beat. \"My ex didn't contest it.\"\n\n\"The divorce or custody?\"\n\n\"Either.\" She turned her focus to the side window while Cade's head swam. Some people were too stupid to know good when they had it.\n\nThey drove alongside the Klamouth Mountains, heading toward the Southern Coast Range in a contented quiet. With the occasional curve, glimpses of the Pacific came into view, the shoreline and cliffs rocky. The fog was heavy near the bank in the late dusk, but not nearly as much as his thoughts. Her words slammed around in his skull.\n\nGranted, he'd never been married, nor was he a father, but he couldn't see himself giving up rights to his kid. He'd probably learn more from Redwood Ridge's Twitter page than from Avery, but he was curious about her. \"Was he a total prick, your ex? Pardon my language.\"\n\nShe breathed a laugh. \"Doesn't matter. He's not in our lives anymore.\"\n\nGood point. \"What's his name?\"\n\nFor that, she turned to study him with intense brown eyes. There was so much hiding in her gaze that he had to force his away or wreck the car trying to figure her out.\n\n\"Richard. That's his name.\"\n\nHe grunted. \"So he _is_ a dick.\"\n\nCovering her face with her hand, she laughed. It sounded rusty at first, but it gained momentum. She had the kind of laugh that drifted into corners and made a person stop to listen. His chest did that funny twisty thing again at the sound, but damn, it felt good to make her laugh. He hadn't known her long, or at all, but it seemed to him she didn't do it often.\n\nShe sighed and laid her head against the seat. \"I suppose it's no secret, anyway. Yeah, he's a jerk. I think he just wanted a trophy wife, which was fine, I guess, until he started treating Hailey like she wasn't there. I filed for divorce two years ago and just got it granted last month. He stretched out the proceedings that long.\" She tilted her head toward him. \"Word to the wise, don't marry an attorney.\"\n\nHe fisted the wheel. She didn't strike him as a trophy wife, and the whole ignoring Hailey thing pissed him off. There was a wealth of information she wasn't telling him, but he let it go. \"What do you call fifty lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?\"\n\nHer grin stole his air. \"A good start.\"\n\nHe laughed. \"A woman who knows her lawyer jokes. Impressive.\"\n\n\"Why don't snakes bite lawyers?\"\n\nHe shook his head. \"Why?\"\n\n\"Professional courtesy.\"\n\nLaughing, he scratched his jaw and made a couple of turns before speaking again. \"So you left the big city to come home to Redwood Ridge.\"\n\nShe appeared to mull that over. \"I don't know if it's home, but my mom's here and I think it's a better environment for Hailey.\"\n\nIf he traveled a thousand places, Redwood Ridge would always be home. Crazy and annoying and irritating as it could be sometimes, it was home. \"You'll settle in. Might take awhile to get used to things, but the people care about each other, take care of one another.\"\n\nShe nodded. \"It only took an hour for half the town to know I'd passed out at the clinic.\"\n\n\"Only an hour?\" he joked. \"Aunt Rosa's usually faster than that.\"\n\nShe grinned, but it fell flat. \"I met your mom today, and your other aunt. The mayor?\"\n\nHe made a dismissive grunt. \"Aunt Marie. My brothers and I call the three of them the Battleaxes. An impenetrable force of evil wrapped in good intentions. They meddle. A lot. Kind of frightening, actually.\"\n\nAnother laugh. He was on a roll, even if he was only half kidding.\n\n\"Your mom seems nice.\"\n\n\"She's certainly the tamest of the three. Still, don't stand too close or look in their eyes. It's a trick.\"\n\n\"Noted.\" She paused with a lazy smile. \"What about your dad? What does he do?\"\n\nDear old Dad. A pang of longing hit his gut. \"He passed away from a heart attack nine years ago.\"\n\n\"Oh wow. So young. I'm sorry. That must've been hard.\"\n\nNo sugarcoating that. \"Took us all by surprise. He started the clinic thirty years ago. My brothers and I never thought of doing anything else but following in his shoes.\"\n\nShe nodded. \"Has Flynn always been deaf?\" Her cheeks flamed. \"Is that too personal?\"\n\n\"Nothing's too personal around here. And yes, he was born deaf. Fluke of nature.\"\n\n\"And Drake? I didn't get to see much of him, what with my eyes closed and me on the floor.\"\n\nHe barked out a surprised laugh. \"Drake. What to say about him?\" Nothing she wouldn't find out via town gossip. \"He's...mourning. He married Heather, his high school sweetheart, right out of vet school. She died from an aggressive form of ovarian cancer three and a half years ago.\"\n\nAvery was silent as she stared out the window, rubbing circles over her collarbone. As he was about to ask if she was all right, she cleared her throat. \"I would be devastated.\"\n\nDrake had been beyond devastated. He'd been wrecked. He was getting better, but it had taken Cade and Flynn a year to even get him to go anywhere besides the clinic, and another year to pack up Heather's things to send for charity. Seeing his brother like that made Cade never want to fall that hard for someone, never sink that deep.\n\n\"He took it rough. You haven't met her yet, but Zoe was Heather's best friend. Zoe's our groomer. She has a little workshop attached to the back of our building.\"\n\nShe seemed lost in thought as he made the turnoff for the store. \"Who did the murals in the clinic? They're wonderful.\"\n\nHe grinned, happy for the topic change. \"That would be Zoe. She paints when she's not wrestling dogs into bathtime submission.\" He parked and cut the engine before turning to look at her head on, his arm on the back of her seat, hand inches from her soft brown waves.\n\n\"Are you really okay with hiring me?\"\n\nSomething told him not to brush off her question too casually. And hmm. She had a light dusting of freckles on her nose he hadn't noticed before. Her berry scent rose to claim him. He never thought fruit could be such a turn on.\n\n\"I'm very okay with hiring you.\" Suddenly, he had the strongest urge to prove to her not all men were dicks. But he'd been an ass the night they'd met, so her opinion of him couldn't be that high. It didn't sit right in his gut. \"I'm sorry for the way I behaved when you brought in Seraph. Truly, I am.\"\n\nHer lips parted and her breathing grew deeper. \"You said that.\"\n\nForcing his gaze to hers, and not dropping it to her mouth like he wanted, he swallowed. \"Bears repeating. I'm sorry.\" He studied her another moment. \"Can you do the job?\"\n\nShe blinked. \"Yes.\"\n\nOne corner of his mouth quirked in a grin, the one he knew drove women crazy. Charming her had just become his mission. Damned if he knew why. \"Then stop worrying about it.\"\n\n* * * *\n\nTwo hours into her new job on Monday, Avery knew she'd been handpicked for the position by the divinity himself. To use the term clusterfuck would be putting too much of a positive spin on the lack of organization.\n\nThey were going by a paper chart system, and there was no rhyme or reason to where they were stored. Some were in the back room, some on the front desk, others in the doctors' offices. It made her brain hurt. There was a small storage closet off the patient room hallway that wasn't in use.\n\nAfter she'd finished her new employee paperwork, she turned to Rosa. \"Can I do some organizing?\" She didn't want to overstep her boundaries, especially on the first day, but to continue this Dr. Seuss system would waste patient time. Rosa would only be training her for two weeks before she retired, so now would be the best time to get anything done while someone was around to man the desk.\n\nA slow grin spread over Rosa's face. \"Organize, you say?\"\n\n\"Um, yes.\" Why was she grinning like that?\n\n_Squawk_. \"Crazy.\"\n\nAvery eyed the cockatoo on the perch by the window. She didn't know if the bird was calling Rosa crazy, Avery's attempt to organize crazy, or if it meant in a general sense. Either way, the feathered beauty was growing on her. It said the most random things and only spoke in song lyrics. She'd laugh if she could breathe among the clutter.\n\n\"You go right ahead, my dear. Organize to your heart's content.\" Rosa's grin was calculating, and after what Cade had told her a few days ago, Avery figured she'd best not ask.\n\nWithout a word, she made her way down the hall and propped open the storage closet, deciding to start in Cade's office. She eyed the two tall filing cabinets before chancing a peek inside the drawers. Empty. Shaking her head, she moved them into the storage closet along the wall, and proceeded to do the same thing with the empty filing cabinets from Drake and Flynn's offices.\n\nShe went back up front. \"Which charts are for deceased patients?\"\n\nRosa waved her hand behind her to the stack teetering by the printer.\n\nAvery found a tote in the back room and dropped those charts inside before dragging it to the storage room in a corner. With one wall lined with filing cabinets, the other was bare, so she moved a few filing cabinets from the front desk area into the storage room and got to work putting charts away and labeling the drawers. By the time lunch rolled around, she was to the M's.\n\nCade walked past the room, stopped, and turned. He eyed her handiwork and put his hands on the top of the doorframe, stretching his light blue scrub top over his muscles. \"Whatcha doing?\"\n\nCaught between filing cabinets and, well...a hard place, she pressed her lips together, trying not to stare at his yummy body. \"Charting.\" She paused. She had asked Rosa first, but Animal Instincts belonged to Cade, Flynn, and Drake. \"Are you mad I moved things?\"\n\nHumor infused his eyes, igniting all that blue. \"Nope. Why don't you go to lunch? Or better yet, head over to the deli with me.\"\n\nShe bit her lip. \"I was going to pop over to Hailey's school. You know, stalk her to see how she's doing.\"\n\nHis grin was slow and knowing. \"Nervous, Mom? I'm sure she's doing fine.\"\n\nShe rubbed her forehead. \"I know. It's just, she's...\"\n\n\"Never been away from you this long?\" He dropped his hands from the doorframe, still smiling. \"Go on then, mama bear. We'll get lunch another time.\"\n\nMama bear? His tone was amused, low, raking over her skin. She shivered. _Shivered_ , damn it! And why was he asking her to lunch? Before she could say more, he stepped away, leaving her to fan herself with a chart.\n\nBrent walked past, chuckled as if the tech knew she was having a hot flash, and sashayed away.\n\nLike it was her fault Cade was so lick-able.\n\nDonning her coat, she walked the few blocks to Avery's school to get some air and chewed on a granola bar. It tasted like cardboard with chocolate chips, but she swallowed it to get something in her stomach.\n\nBreathing deep, she inhaled humid air infused with pine and salt. The temperature remained in the upper thirties, but the stiff breeze was chilling. A low fog hovered in the distance, and Avery was learning it never really dissipated. Through rays of sun or storm-drenched clouds, it was always there, like a protective bubble for Redwood Ridge.\n\nShe passed many of the storefronts, figuring she'd make some time over the weekend to swing into them and check things out. The town square, set up more like an I-shape, was perhaps two miles long, with the vet office being near the southern end. The town catered to the tourism market with a caf\u00e9, bakery, bookstore, herbal cooking, and a candle shop, but there were also accounting offices, an attorney, and a dentist.\n\nAt the end of the street, she cut left and strode to the chain link fence encompassing the playground. She searched for Hailey, and found her off to the side with another little girl perhaps a year or two older. A teacher was helping Hailey bounce a rubber ball to the girl in a game of catch.\n\nShe stilled, fingers gripping the cold metal fence. Tears sprang to her eyes at the grin on Hailey's face and the bark of laughter that floated across the playground. Her chest swelled. Hailey had made a friend. On her first day! She wasn't distressed by the commotion of the other kids, but instead she...played.\n\n\"Is she yours?\"\n\nAvery turned to the woman next to her she hadn't noticed and swiped her eyes. She cleared the emotion from her throat. \"Yes. We just moved here.\"\n\nThe woman nodded, tucking a stray piece of reddish hair behind her ear. Her gaze trained back to the girls. \"That's my daughter, Jenny. Grew up my whole life here, but I still come by every day at recess to check on her. I can't help it. I work at the pharmacy. I'm April, by the way.\"\n\n\"Avery, and that's my daughter, Hailey.\" She glanced at the girls again, noticing the characteristics of Down syndrome in Jenny.\n\n\"Heard you fainted at the\u2014\"\n\nAvery groaned, earning a laugh from April. \"Who hasn't heard? I'm so embarrassed.\"\n\nApril's smile transformed her thin, regal face into something more approachable and friendly. \"Did you faint because of the hot docs or something gory?\"\n\nShe breathed a laugh. \"Gory. I walked into the surgery room and down I went. Though the vets are attractive, aren't they?\" She immediately bit her tongue at the unprofessionalism, her cheeks heating.\n\n\"Yep, all three of them. Smokin'. You'll learn soon enough the tactics some women will go to just to get their attention.\" April tilted her head. \"Not many single options here in Redwood Ridge, never mind selections that delicious. You're a lucky woman, getting to work with them.\"\n\nShe shook her head at the tease.\n\nApril shoulder bumped her. \"Oh, come on. You wouldn't be admitting anything the rest of us don't know.\"\n\n\"True. So what tactics have you used?\" If this wasn't the oddest conversation...\n\n\"Nah. I'm happily married. My husband's a truck driver, so he's gone a lot.\" April shifted on her feet. \"You're staying up at the rental cabins, right?\" When Avery nodded, April said, \"We're right down the road in the apartments. We should get the girls together sometime. They seem to be clicking.\"\n\nThey pulled out their phones and exchanged numbers before April headed back to work. Avery needed to take off, too, but she glanced at Hailey one more time. Sighing in contentment, she walked to the clinic, her heart so happy it hurt.\n\nUntil she walked in the door and found Drake leaning against the front desk, arms crossed and a surgical cap covering most of his dark hair. Flynn and Cade stood off to the side, watching her entry.\n\nHer steps slowed as she glanced at the clock, wondering if she was late. But no, she still had five more minutes. Dread pitted her stomach as she unbuttoned her coat with shaking fingers. \"Is everything okay?\"\n\n\"You,\" Drake said, pointing a finger at her, his face an unreadable mask. \"Did you do this?\" He jerked his chin at the lack of charts and newly available counter space.\n\nThere was still a lot to be done, but not if they were angry. She'd asked Rosa first.\n\nAvery slowly walked to the desk and edged around Drake, the granola bar she'd eaten sitting heavy in her stomach. \"The charts for today's appointments are here in this basket. When you're done with them, I figured you could just set them back here, and I'll file them away.\"\n\nCade dropped his chin to his chest, lips quirking as if fighting a grin. Flynn stood next to him, eyeing the ceiling. Both men's expressions were in direct conflict with Drake's.\n\nSilence stretched, but she kept her chin up. She'd done nothing wrong, had asked permission first, and heck, the place needed organizing. How had they found anything before she came along? And it had only been one morning.\n\nDrake straightened and stepped into her space. \"You,\" he said, stretching the word out, \"are a keeper. Well done.\" With that, he strode down the hall to his office.\n\nAvery's jaw dropped. She forced it closed.\n\nCade chuckled and swiped a hand down his face.\n\nFlynn signed, \" _Thank you_ ,\" and followed Drake.\n\nAt Cade's silent laugh, his shoulders bouncing, Avery narrowed her eyes. \"Was it necessary to freak me out like that? You guys just can't pat me on the back like normal people?\"\n\n_Squawk_. \"Don't fear the reaper.\"\n\nCade laughed harder.\n\nBrent and Gabby walked in from the back. Brent lifted his brows at Avery's irritation and Cade's hysterics. \"What'd we miss? Dish, doll.\"\n\n_Squawk._ \"Laughing on the outside.\"\n\nShe eyed the bird. \"Be quiet.\"\n\n\"Don't go breaking my heart.\" _Squawk._\n\nApparently, that had been the last thread of composure for Cade. He wiped his eyes and groaned in distress when he couldn't stop laughing. Walking past her, lips pressed together, he patted her on the back and followed his brothers.\n\nAvery rolled her eyes and went to finish charting.\n\n_Squawk_. \"Don't go away mad.\"\n\n# Chapter 5\n\nAfter Cade and his brothers had mercilessly teased Avery for the systematic changes she'd made to the clinic, she'd stopped asking to do things and just did them. Her incentive was admirable, if not scary. It's not that the office was disorganized. It's just that it was...well, yeah. Disorganized. It had been so much easier just to succumb to the chaos than it had been to take the time to change.\n\nCade had dubbed Avery the Nazi but, damn, the clinic was running smoother than ever. So much so that Aunt Rosa decided not to finish out her two weeks, making today her last shift. Avery had hardly needed any training at all. She jumped right in with fervor and retained knowledge with frightening skill.\n\nOnce Avery had a chart system in place, she'd moved on to the storeroom. As in they had one now instead of boxes of supplies in various spots throughout the clinic. She'd cleaned out the janitor's closet, found some old shelving units, and unpacked. There were even\u2014 _gulp_ \u2014labels.\n\nIt actually had taken Brent twenty minutes to find twenty-two gauge syringes because they weren't buried in a box in the boarding room. They were on a shelf now. In a closet. With a label. Cade blew out a breath and shook his head in awe.\n\nFinished with a round of patients, he headed up front where Aunt Rosa was reading a romance book and Avery was typing away on the computer. \"Whatcha doing now?\"\n\nAvery didn't glance up from the screen. \"Making a supply list in Excel.\"\n\nHell. Why was that hot? She wasn't his usual type.\n\nOkay, to be honest, any female with too many brain cells wasn't his type. It wasn't out of a sense of shallowness he sought that variety, but preservation. Until he found someone who made his heart beat like Heather used to do for Drake, he'd stick with superficial. No point in getting hurt or hurting someone else. But ever since Heather died, Cade tried less and less to settle down or find that person. He was aware of it, aware he was doing it, and damn if he ever questioned his actions until now. People rarely recovered from that kind of love. Why search for it?\n\nPerhaps it was Avery's long legs in those black leggings, or her pink sweater the same shade as her cheeks when she blushed, or her brown hair\u2014more chestnut really in the sun\u2014piled on top of her head and held in place with a pencil that seized his interest. He bit back a sigh. Nope. It was her brain, her humor, and her strength.\n\nHot.\n\nAunt Rosa glanced at him over the top of her book, a knowing smirk on her face.\n\nBusted.\n\n\"A supply list?\" Bully for him. His voice sounded normal. He still had no freaking clue why, but if he wasn't bumbling like a moron around Avery, he was saying moronic things. Where the hell was his swagger?\n\n\"Mmhm.\" _Type_. \"So we don't over order things or run out. Gabby and Brent can just check off what they need and I can order from the supplier.\" _Type, type_. \"Did you know you had ten cases of cat litter? Insane.\"\n\nHe scratched his jaw. \"Uh. No.\"\n\n\"Putting Zoe's stuff on here, too. Her shampoos and whatnot for grooming.\" _Type._\n\n\"She's making a supply list,\" Rosa beamed, waving her hand like this was an epiphany. _I told you I'm all-wise. I hired her!_\n\nCade frowned at his aunt. She'd been the office manager, for Christ's sake. She should've been doing this.\n\nFlynn came up to the desk and tapped Avery's shoulder. \" _Have you seen my backup bag? Gabby and I need to head out to Miller's farm.\"_\n\nAvery nodded. \"In the supply room, stocked for you. Your new bag should be here Monday.\"\n\nAt Cade's questioning glance, Flynn signed, \" _A goat chewed my other one when Gabby was busy chasing a barn cat.\"_\n\nAnd this was why he wasn't the house call vet.\n\nFlynn tapped Avery's shoulder to get her attention again. \" _Marry me?\"_\n\nShe laughed. \"Not today, but you're welcome. Shoo, now.\"\n\nWhat. The. Hell.\n\nAs if sensing Cade's thought train and derailing it, Avery said, \"He asks me to marry him daily. Hourly, depending on what I've done.\" _Type, type_. \"Relax, Dr. Cade. He's joking. Besides, I don't do office romance.\" _Right, Flynn?_ she signed.\n\nFlynn grinned, the asshole, and strode into his office, only to emerge moments later with Gabby and his travel bag.\n\nCade flipped him off behind Avery's back as he was walking out the door.\n\n\"Saw that.\" _Type._\n\nOf course she did. All moms had eyes in the backs of their heads. And that was the other thing. She had a kid. Not that he didn't like kids. He did. Maybe even wanted a couple of his own someday. But it wasn't just one person involved when dating someone like Avery. It was two.\n\nAnd they weren't dating. Not even a little. He hadn't asked her out and, aside from that first day when her gaze had shown interest, she'd seemed immune to him.\n\nThat hadn't happened in...ever. He found it oddly refreshing.\n\nWith Flynn and Gabby gone, Cade glanced around. \"Where's She-rah?\" The cat was usually perched on top of the printer, plotting world domination.\n\n\"Avery put her on time-out. She's in the back room.\" Rosa's grin grew to _oh shit_ size, and he figured his aunt had read all his previous thoughts. Like a Vulcan mind meld. Which was never a good thing.\n\nWait. A time-out? He looked at Avery. \"You put a cat on time-out?\" He didn't know whether that was cute or genius.\n\nAvery never stopped typing, which was beginning to infuriate him. \"Yes, she was scaring Thor.\"\n\nCade looked down, just noticing Thor's head in Avery's lap from the other side of her chair. The Great Dane looked at him as if to say, _Neener, neener_. \"Dust bunnies scare that dog.\"\n\n\"Well, the cat needs manners. Plus, Thor and I are working on his courage. Aren't we, boy?\"\n\nThor barked. And not in fear. _Yes, my liege_.\n\nUnsure what to make of Avery, he scratched his jaw. She'd done more in one week on the job than Aunt Rosa had in twenty years. She was prettier to look at, too. Aunt Rosa caught him staring at Avery again, so he shook his head.\n\n\"Do I have any more patients this afternoon?\"\n\n\"Drake has one more surgery and you have two patients\u2014a terrier who chewed its way through a crate, thus cutting his gums, and strangely...\" She trailed off and brought up her schedule. \"A cat that's feeling 'off.'\"\n\nCade groaned. He was so not in the mood for\u2014\n\nRosa set her book down. \"It's Jeffery Harrison's cat.\"\n\nWell, that made no sense. Jeffrey had gone to high school with Cade, did not want to date Cade, and he didn't have a cat. Why make an appointment at all?\n\nRosa's brows lifted. \"It's not just the pretty females worming their way in for appointments anymore. Avery's getting popular.\" She tilted her head, her expression saying, _whatcha gonna do about it, boy?_\n\nSo men were making fake visits to his clinic just to see his new office manager? Hell, did Jeffrey buy a damn cat just to ask her out? This wasn't a dating service. Had people never heard of a cell phone? When his temples started to throb, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.\n\n_Type, type_. \"Maybe Jeffrey is batting for the other team now. Or the cat really is feeling off?\"\n\nRosa laughed, high-fiving Avery, who never looked up from her computer.\n\nScrew this. Cade turned on his heels and went into his office.\n\n* * * *\n\nAvery looked over the front desk at her mom and Rosa\u2014who were scrolling through Pinterest pictures on Rosa's phone\u2014when they hemmed a third time. They'd been trying to goad her into looking, too, but Avery was on to them. They weren't even trying to be suave.\n\nThey were matchmaking, so she ignored them. Mostly. She did not need to be set up on a date. Especially not with her new boss. Any of them, for that matter. Avery had sworn off men, and besides, hello awkward? And Cade had more women hanging on his arm than the desert had sand granules. If she did date, it wouldn't be a man who loved women _that_ much.\n\nWhat had Cade called these ladies? The Battleaxes? Suiting. Seemed his mother and aunts were trying to recruit Avery's mother into their muah-ha-ha fold. The memory of one picture of Cade from last summer in board shorts and nothing else had her clenching her thighs together.\n\n\"Look at those biceps. Oh, he's cuddling a kitten. Avery, have you seen this?\"\n\nAvery closed her eyes and covered her ears. _Lead me not into temptation_...\n\nWho was she kidding? She hadn't been in church since her wedding nine years before.\n\nFinally, Cade's last patient of the day came out of an exam room. She blew out a breath.\n\nJeffrey seemed like a nice enough guy, if not a little obvious in stripping her naked with his eyes. He set the cat crate on the floor by his feet as Cade walked up front, followed by Brent.\n\nReady to cut Jeffrey off at the pass\u2014literally, he'd made several passes at her\u2014she pasted on a smile and stood. \"That was so nice of you to bring your mother's cat in for her.\"\n\nCade snorted and handed her a list of services. _Depression?_\n\nAvery gave Jeffrey the total and he squared the bill. \"You have a great weekend. Thanks for coming in.\"\n\nJeffrey shoved a baseball cap over his receding brown hair. \"About that. What are you up to tonight? Maybe we could get some dinner?\"\n\n\"Oh, that's so nice of you, but\u2014\"\n\n\"She's got plans.\"\n\nNo one moved for a fraction of a second. She was pretty sure the earth stopped rotating. They all slowly turned to face Cade. Yeah, that proverbial pin drop? They'd all heard it.\n\nCade froze, his eyes wide as if shocked he'd said anything, pen poised over the open chart in his hand.\n\nBrent took in Cade's distressed face and straightened. \"Um, yes. We're all headed to Shooters tonight. Avery's...spoken for?\" He looked at her as if to confirm.\n\n\"I am?\" Not that she was going to take Jeffrey up on the offer. She had no interest in dating, but still. Couldn't she just nicely turn him down? Why lie?\n\nBrent fixed her with a _go with it_ glare and then grinned at Jeffrey. \"Sorry, big guy.\"\n\nRosa and her mom's head whipped back and forth between the patient, Cade, and Brent. Their avid interest in Pinterest was gone and replaced by the live floor show.\n\nCade muttered a quiet curse.\n\nJeffrey's confused gaze scanned the room. \"Okay. Maybe I'll meet up with you later.\" He picked up the crate and left. Fast.\n\nAll eyes slid back to Cade. He opened and closed his mouth several times before tossing the chart aside, running a hand through his thick blond hair, and glancing heavenward. \"Right.\"\n\nFlynn and Gabby walked in the door at the same time Drake chose that moment to come up front from the back.\n\nDrake's gaze swept over each of them in a millimeter of a second. \"Are we having a moment of silence?\"\n\nRosa's eyes narrowed. \"Actually, we're trying to figure out why Cade just blocked Avery from accepting a date.\"\n\n\"I did not\u2014\"\n\n\"Ooh, a date?\" Gabby stepped forward and set her bag down before adjusting her long, blond ponytail. \"With who?\"\n\n\"Jeffrey Harrison.\" Brent waved his hand dismissively. \"Dodged a bullet with that one, doll. I'd thank Cade.\"\n\n\"I did not\u2014\"\n\n\"What time should I be over to watch Hailey?\" Mom interrupted, earning a nod of approval from Rosa. \"I'm glad you have plans to go out. You need to have a little fun.\"\n\nAvery shook her head. \"When did fake plans become real plans?\"\n\nFlynn's eyebrows shot to his hairline.\n\n\"Does seven o'clock work for everyone?\" Brent cocked a hip.\n\n\"I'm in,\" Gabby said. She picked up her bag and headed for the hall. \"Shooters?\"\n\nAvery rubbed her forehead. \"I didn't agree to\u2014\"\n\nRosa huffed. \"Now, now. Cade asked you out, and you're new in town, so this'll be a good opportunity to meet a lot of people.\"\n\n\"I did not ask her\u2014\"\n\n\"Semantics,\" Rosa said. \"Justine, dear, I'll see you tomorrow.\"\n\n\"I'll walk out with you. Avery, I'll be over at six thirty to watch Hailey.\"\n\nFlynn shrugged. \" _I'm in_.\" He looked at Avery. \" _Drinks on me for your awesome first week.\"_ Deserting her, too, he went into his office.\n\nDrake crossed his arms, looking like he wanted to kill Cade for some reason or erase the past five minutes from his memory. \"Have fun tonight, kids.\"\n\n\"Wait.\" Brent pouted. \"You have to come, too.\"\n\n\"I don't.\" Drake turned to go.\n\nThe tech was undeterred, using a teasing singsong voice. \"Avery cleaned out and organized the surgical room.\"\n\nDrake paused mid-step, back still to them, and sighed. \"One drink and I'm out. And...thanks, Avery.\"\n\nBrent clapped his hands like a giddy child and sauntered off, leaving Avery and Cade alone up front.\n\nSilence stretched for one minute. Two.\n\nSlowly, she turned in her chair to face him. \"What just happened?\"\n\nHe was leaning on the back counter with his chin down and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn't look up when he answered. \"We just got railroaded.\"\n\nYeah, she got that part. \"For the record, I didn't have any plans for tonight.\"\n\n\"Okay.\"\n\n\"I was going to take a hot bath and read.\"\n\nHe didn't move. \"Got it.\"\n\n\"Now I do have plans.\"\n\n\"Yep,\" he said tightly.\n\n\"Because of you. I believe your exact words were, 'She has plans.'\"\n\nHis shoulders tensed. \"I remember.\"\n\nShe strummed her fingernails on the desk. \"What if I wanted to go out with Jeffrey?\"\n\nFor that, he lifted his head. \"Do you?\"\n\nHe pinned her with that blue gaze of his, rife with interest, curiosity, and something that made her belly heat...then her chest...and her cheeks. All flaming. There were some serious mixed signals or crossed wires in the two feet between them. Why would he step in like that if he wasn't...jealous? But that was ridiculous. He was a Trojan god, and she was a divorcee with a kid who'd gotten way too soft around the middle.\n\nExcept he was still staring, waiting for an answer as if it were of utmost importance. She hadn't done this dance in so long she was certain she was reading him wrong.\n\nHe shoved off the counter and made his way over. Backing her chair up to the desk, he leaned down, placed his palms on either side of her to cage her in, and brought his face within inches of hers. The scent of fabric softener and animal fur followed him as he looked in her eyes.\n\nShe stopped breathing. Was pretty sure he did, too.\n\n\"Do you want to go out with him?\" he asked, his voice a low, dangerous rumble.\n\nHe had the start of a five o'clock shadow, which added to his devil-may-care attitude. The gray flecks in his eyes were more noticeable this close to him and the wide, almost bow shape of his mouth was only inches from hers. Sexual tension coiled in her gut, made drawing in air impossible. The heat from his body engulfed.\n\nCrap on a cracker. \"No.\"\n\nHe didn't move, but his lids lowered to half-mast when his gaze dipped to her mouth. Lazily, he brought it back up to her eyes. One corner of his lips quirked. \"Good.\"\n\nHe straightened and headed toward his office. \"I'll pick you up at seven.\" He was halfway there before she blinked and recovered.\n\n\"I can drive myself.\"\n\n\"Never said you couldn't.\" He kept right on going.\n\nShe bit her lip. \"This isn't a date.\"\n\n\"Never said it was.\" He stopped in his office doorway and turned to face her. His gaze leveled on her and held her captive. For a second, he seemed uncertain, but it was gone before she could react. Slowly, he drew in air and palmed the doorknob. \"If we do ever go on a date, you'll know it's a date. And we'll be alone.\"\n\nShe shivered.\n\nHe shut his office door.\n\n# Chapter 6\n\n\"Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?\"\n\nCade tore his gaze away from where Avery was playing darts with Brent, Zoe, and Gabby across the room to look at Drake. His older brother was in a mood. When wasn't he? \"I don't know what you're talking about.\"\n\nExcept he did know. Playing dumb seemed like a better option.\n\nThe jukebox inside Shooters blared hard rock, the peanuts on their table were stale, and there wasn't a face in the crowd Cade didn't know. Same ole, same ole. Since when was he restless? Typically he rolled with the punches, let the night play out how fate intended. He shrugged, suddenly tired of the mirror scene, the same cheese-ass d\u00e9cor and come-on lines.\n\nChrist. Was he getting...bored?\n\nFlynn paused with his beer halfway to his mouth, watching them closely to read their lips. Normally Cade wouldn't exclude him from conversation and would use sign language, but the bar was busy and Cade had a suspicion this was a conversation he didn't want the gang listening to.\n\nDrake crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair at their high-top table. \"You cock-blocked Avery today when someone asked her out.\"\n\nAs if he didn't feel like a big enough ass. \"I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a cock.\"\n\nFlynn snorted.\n\nDrake's brows lowered. \"This isn't a game. Whatever you're thinking, unthink it. She's not your usual good time.\"\n\nTranslation: She's too good for you.\n\nCade ground his jaw and slammed the rest of his pint. Never mind he knew that. He didn't need his brother pointing it out. Besides, who said he couldn't offer someone more than a little fun? He was getting sick of people underestimating him and putting him in a box. The label was getting old quick.\n\nAnd just when, exactly, had that happened?\n\nFlynn must've picked up on Cade's tension. \" _Maybe he really likes this one_.\"\n\nCade chanced a peek across the crowded bar, but the group wasn't paying attention and Flynn's back was to them.\n\nDrake shot out a laugh that had little to do with humor. \"He likes all of them. That's not the issue.\" He leaned forward, glare digging into Cade's patience. \"She's the best thing to happen to our clinic since before Dad died. If your dick screws that up\u2014\"\n\nCade slammed his glass down. \"I haven't done anything. And if I do, it wouldn't be before properly thinking it through.\" Except Avery had a way of shutting down thought.\n\nDrake shook his head, a sound of disgust rolling from his throat.\n\n\"You know, I graduated from college, never miss a day of work, own my own home\u2014\"\n\n\"And never sleep with the same woman twice.\" Drake shifted his glass on the table, studying him. \"There are levels and types of responsibilities, little brother. She has a kid. She doesn't need to date one.\"\n\nHe was sick of this conversation, too. Cade didn't know what more he needed to do to prove himself. What the hell difference did it make who got between his sheets? His sex life had nothing to do with his family or Animal Instincts.\n\nYet his gut twisted because he'd basically told himself the same thing Drake had not so charmingly spewed, and he was still thinking of making a play for Avery. She tied him up in knots. He wanted to dissect that, find out why.\n\n_\"They're coming back to the table_.\" Flynn sipped his beer.\n\nCade's gaze tracked Avery until she climbed onto the stool next to him. \"So who won?\"\n\nZoe grinned, the curve of her lips reminding him of her gypsy heritage, seductive and mysterious. \"Gabby, of course. When doesn't she win?\"\n\nZoe's once light brown hair was dyed blue this week. For more than a year, she'd colored it a different unnatural shade, changing it every week or two. No one knew why. She'd walked into the clinic one day with bright orange hair and never said a word as she'd set up in the back for her grooming appointments.\n\nThey'd all wondered. No one had asked.\n\nGabby took a healthy gulp of her ale. \"Gotta be good at something. At least Brent didn't maim anyone.\"\n\nBrent's aim was notoriously bad when it came to darts. Cade had a scar on his bicep as proof.\n\nBrent waved off her comment. \"Only because everyone scurried away, refusing to play with us.\" He turned in his seat and yelled to the bar over the noise. \"All pussies!\"\n\nGabby shoulder-bumped him. \"How would you know a pussy if you saw one?\"\n\nFlynn choked on his beer.\n\nCade looked at Avery to see how she was taking the light banter at Brent's expense, but the curve of her lips said she was amused by the conversation. She was quiet, but comfortable. He guessed he just wasn't used to quiet women. Come to think of it, if not for Avery, he'd swear they didn't exist.\n\nAvery dropped her chin in her hand. \"I'll bet he's been with at least one woman.\"\n\nBrent's eyes narrowed to catty, but he said nothing.\n\nShe shifted in her seat, crossing her long legs wrapped in skinny jeans that Cade would love nothing more than to peel off her. The knee-high black boots could stay.\n\n\"Are all of you from Redwood Ridge? You seem to know each other very well.\"\n\nMost of them had grown up together. Brent was a recent Seattle transplant from five years ago. Gabby had been in Flynn's graduating class, Zoe in Drake's. Cade and his brothers were only a year and a half apart, Drake being the oldest, but they were close. At the clinic there was a respectful working relationship, but after hours it was like being back in the sandbox again. A guy couldn't ask for better friends.\n\nGabby readjusted her ponytail. \"I can give you all the dirt.\"\n\nZoe laughed, a rich smoky sound that seemed to wind Drake tighter. His shoulders tensed as he swallowed the last of his whiskey neat and stood. \"I'm out. Avery, thank you for everything. Seriously.\"\n\nThey all lifted their glasses. \"To Avery!\"\n\nHer cheeks flushed as she stared at the table. \"Thanks.\"\n\nGabby winced and set down her glass. \"Damn, Cade. Cougar at twelve o'clock.\"\n\nJudging by her gaze directed over his shoulder, he assumed she meant her twelve o'clock, not his. He turned in just enough time to catch Cynthia's perfume before she sidled up next to him, plastering her double D's in his face. Cynthia had been a lapse in judgment about four years back, but she didn't seem to take that personally.\n\nHe looked to Flynn for help, but his jerkface brother grinned. \" _Just put her over your knee and she'll leave you alone.\"_\n\nWhy did he tell his brother anything? Yes, it was true Cynthia liked to be spanked, and yes, it was true she'd liked to scream out _Daddy_ when in the throes. To each her own. It just wasn't his thing. In fact, he was pretty sure he was still traumatized.\n\nAvery lifted her brows. \"Do I want to know?\" she signed to Flynn.\n\nGabby shook her head, eyes wide. \"Not unless you've got daddy issues. Keep your eyes down. Don't engage.\"\n\nFlynn laughed, wiping a hand down his face.\n\nCynthia shoved her tongue in Cade's ear and purred. Except she was so drunk it came out more like a tin drum roll. \"Let's go back to my place.\"\n\nHe resisted a shudder and set his hands on her waist. \"Ah, thanks for the offer, but I've got an early morning tomorrow. Besides, you know you're too much...woman for me to handle.\" Her curly red hair, courtesy of Clairol, tickled his face and barred him from seeing his friends laughing at his expense.\n\nCynthia licked his throat.\n\nAvery made a strangled sound of shock.\n\nCade always found it difficult rejecting women. One would think he'd become a Master Jedi at by now, but alas, \"no\" was not in his Webster. He'd beaten around the word, teased at it, and siphoned his way out of messy breakups, but rarely had to hurt feelings in his diversionary tactics. On the off chance Cynthia would remember this moment after she sobered, he'd hate for her to be humiliated in front of everyone at Shooters because the town manwhore had turned her down.\n\nAnother freaking term he couldn't stand. It wasn't as if he'd slept with every woman. He was actually more selective than people gave him credit. His reputation had been embellished greatly through the years, through no fault of his own. Not that he'd minded much. Not until recently. Hell, he'd been on a dry streak long enough to briefly\u2014perhaps punishingly\u2014consider Cynthia again.\n\nNope. Scratch that. He'd stay celibate.\n\nBrent, bless him, decided to save his ass from being swallowed whole. \"Cynthia, honey, retract your claws. Cade's with someone else tonight.\"\n\nCade pinched his eyes shut as Cynthia stilled halfway into her climb up his body. He held his hands out, not touching her, hoping the lack of contact wouldn't set her off. She'd been known to be a hothead.\n\nSlowly, she eased back to look at his face. Mascara smears shadowed the puffiness under her eyes, and her mouth hung open in shock, breathing stale beer in his face. She looked from him to Avery and back again. \"Who's she?\"\n\n\"Cynthia, meet Avery, our new office manager.\" Thinking fast, he tapped Cynthia's ass to cue her to get down. \"I think I saw Jared staring at you from the pool tables earlier.\" Jared being the ex high school football star whose life peaked ten years ago. No harm, no foul sending her Jared's way. \"I think he's interested. I'd hate to come between you two.\"\n\n\"Yeah?\" Her unfocused gaze scanned the room. \"Thanks, Cade. You're a helluva guy.\"\n\nAs she sauntered away, and the entirety of their table busted out into hysterics, he blew out a breath. \"And you people call yourselves friends.\"\n\nGabby swiped her eyes. \"I warned you she was coming.\"\n\nBrent held out his hand, wiggling his fingers. \"Zoe, hand over your purse. Quick.\" She passed it over and Brent dug through the contents, removed a small package of antibacterial wipes, and tossed it on the table in front of Cade. \"Use them. Hurry, before infection sets in.\"\n\nWith air being in such short supply, Gabby thunked her head on the table and wheezed through a round of giggles.\n\nAvery set her glass down. \"You knew she had wipes in her purse?\"\n\nAfter what just went down over the past five minutes, that was what shocked her?\n\nZoe patted Gabby's back and slid a glass of water in front of her. \"He's in my purse more than I am.\"\n\nBrent nodded in mock seriousness. \"True, dat.\"\n\nCade sighed and turned to Avery. \"You ready to go?\" He was so over this night.\n\nAmusement still shone in her eyes as she nodded.\n\nThey drove back to her cabin in silence, but a comfortable one. He parked in front of the porch and got out to open her door. She looked up with round eyes as if no one had been so courteous before and then avoided his gaze. As they climbed the porch steps and he wondered how to end the night, Justine opened the front door, rushed past them, and headed for her car.\n\n\"Hailey's asleep. There were no issues. You two go on inside. Together. Alone. I'll see you tomorrow, Avery.\" With that, she got in her car, sped out of the drive, and disappeared onto the main road.\n\nThey stood staring after the taillights had faded and Avery pressed a hand to her forehead. \"What is wrong with everybody?\"\n\n\"Subtlety is not her strong suit, I take it?\" He was used to his meddling family, but being the victim of matchmaking seemed new to her.\n\nHer gaze landed on his chest and suddenly he was aware of her closeness, of the summer and berries scent of her rising over the pine and snow. Her breath hitched, her lips parted, and her lids grew heavy.\n\nOne step, one step and his body would be flush with hers and he'd know what she tasted like. He'd thought of little else this week, and he was starting to forget the reasons why he shouldn't make a move.\n\n\"Um...\" She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. \"The woman at the bar, you're not...together?\"\n\n\"No.\"\n\n\"But you used to be?\"\n\n\"Yes. One night, years ago.\"\n\nShe nodded. \"You were really nice about letting her down tonight.\"\n\n\"No sense in being an asshole about it.\" He shrugged.\n\nFinally, her gaze lifted to his. Part shock, part admiration lit the brown depths. He couldn't recall when, if ever, someone had looked at him and seen respect. His chest swelled, giving him the false impression he could do anything.\n\nThe porch light caught the golden flecks in her irises to add to the punch of dark brown. She had clever eyes, expressive, with long lashes that framed all that pretty color. Avery wasn't a stunner, but she had an unmistakable natural beauty not found often anymore. The freckles lightly dusting her nose only added to her charm.\n\nHer gaze dropped to his mouth and back up, telling him she was thinking of being naughty, too. \"You should stop looking at me like that. I'm not dessert. I'm not even an appetizer.\"\n\nHe stepped into her space and cupped her cheek, cool from the air. \"I disagree.\"\n\nCade wondered how long she'd been married to the dick who put those ideas in her head and how long it would take to undo the damage. She hadn't outright said anything, but he knew insecurity when he saw it. She was confident in work, with her daughter, in everything else, until he acted on impulse and got closer. Then her oh-shit meter went off.\n\nShe wasn't ready to be kissed, but he was going to pursue this chemistry to see just how combustible they were together. His mind was made up, if for no other reason than to show her just how desirable she was.\n\n\"I'll see you on Monday.\" Leaning in, he kissed her cheek, letting his lips drag across her smooth skin and graze a path to her temple. Her breath shuddered out, expelling puffs of air in the cool, damp night. \"For the record,\" he said quietly into her hair, \"I think you're sweeter than any dessert I've had.\"\n\nAnd he'd had a lot of dessert.\n\n* * * *\n\n_Squawk_. \"Highway to hell.\"\n\nCade muttered a curse.\n\nAvery looked up from the billing statement she'd been going over with him, glancing first at the cockatoo and then Cade. The muscles in his forearms flexed as he leaned into his hands on the desk next to her. Large hands. They'd felt good cupping her cheeks the other night.\n\nShe shook her head. _Focus_. \"What's wrong?\"\n\n\"The Battleaxes are here.\" He jerked his chin at the front door. \"All three of them at once. This can't be good.\"\n\nCade's mother and two aunts strode into the clinic. The three women couldn't be any more different. Rosa was in jeans and a T-shirt with a leather bomber jacket, her unnatural red hair plastered in place and not a stitch of makeup. Gayle's light blond bob moved freely as she walked. She was wearing a pair of khakis and a light blue sweater under a peacoat, sporting a natural look with a swipe of gloss and a little mascara. The mayor, Marie, was in professional mode in a tweed suit, her dark brown hair swept up in a twist and war paint in full operatus.\n\nAvery's gut twisted. Cade turned to leave, but she grabbed his wrist. \"Don't you dare leave me alone with them.\" She'd only met them a handful of times since moving, but they were intimidating as individuals. Together they could take down the Taliban.\n\n\"Mom, Aunties, what brings you out?\" He leaned over the desk to kiss their cheeks. \"Taking candy from babies? Solving the budget deficit and telling no one?\"\n\nAvery's pulse thrummed as heat pooled in her belly. There was nothing sexier than a good sense of humor.\n\n\"Har, har. Avery, dear. So good to see you.\" Marie took off her gloves and unbuttoned her coat.\n\n\"You, too, Mayor.\"\n\n\"Oh, please. Just Marie is fine.\"\n\nAvery chanced a peek at Cade, but he was pretending to read the billing statement in his hands. Wimp. She cleared her throat and smiled. \"What can I help you gals with today?\"\n\n\"Well,\" Gayle started, but was interrupted by Gabby who walked up front with her attention on a chart.\n\n\"Avery, have you seen the...\" Gabby's eyes rounded when they landed on the visitors. \"Hey there.\" She moved around the desk, hugging each in turn, not the least bit afraid of the trio. \"What a great surprise. Have you met Avery? Look at the wonderful job she's done in organizing us.\"\n\nCade tried to step behind Avery and leave, but she moved her chair back, blocking his exit. Stuck, he pasted on an affable grin. \"I've got patients, so...\"\n\nHe tried stepping in front of Avery. She stretched out her legs. \"No, you don't. Your schedule's clear for twenty minutes.\"\n\n\"I have paperwork.\"\n\n\"You don't.\"\n\n\"I do. I'm sure of it.\" His jaw ground, but amusement lit his eyes. Obviously he was enjoying the game. His expression implored her to release him.\n\n\"Nope,\" she sang.\n\nRosa cleared her throat and looked at her sisters. \"Told you.\"\n\nGayle's smile could've melted the arctic. \"I do see. You were right.\"\n\nCade tensed. \"See what? Right about what?\"\n\nThe trio, complete with Gabby, stared between her and Cade, a mischievous gleam in their eyes over an inside joke.\n\nInstead of answering, Marie nodded. \"We've heard about the wonderful job you've been doing, Avery. That's why we're here, actually. We have a proposition for you.\"\n\nOh God. \"Um...okay?\"\n\nCade chuckled. She kicked him in the ankle.\n\nEver since last Friday night, when they'd all gone out to Shooters and Cade almost kissed her, there'd been a jovial atmosphere at work. Like crossing the line between strangers and friends. They'd bantered, joked, teased. Even Drake had cracked a smile or...well, just the one time. But it had been fun. She loved working here, and she was beginning to gain a sense of purpose again.\n\nGayle took the lead, leaning on the counter with her big doe eyes. \"We're in need of someone with your organizational skills. You see, Jessica was put on bed rest and she normally runs the event committee\u2014\"\n\nCade barked out a laugh. Paused. Looked at each of the ladies. Held up a hand and laughed again. \"You want Avery to head the Redwood Ridge event committee?\"\n\nRosa nodded. \"Exactly.\" She looked at Avery, who was too confused to move. \"For now, it would just be the Valentine's dance, but we can see how that goes and then you could chair more things if all goes well.\"\n\nMarie nodded. \"The St. Patrick's pot luck, Easter egg hunt...\"\n\nGabby bounced on her toes. \"She'd be perfect. I mean, Avery's got great ideas, and you know she's super organized.\"\n\nThey kept chattering about her as if she wasn't there. She pressed a palm to her forehead.\n\nCade leaned down to whisper in her ear. \"This is how Jessica got roped into the job. I'd run. Run far. Run fast.\"\n\n\"Who is Jessica?\" She didn't even know this person and they were\u2014\n\n\"Oh, Jessica runs the nursery.\" Marie waved her hand. \"That's not important. She's stepped down and we need someone to replace her. We pick you.\"\n\n\"I...um.\" Avery sighed. God. \"That's very flattering, but I don't know the town very well, and I've never done anything like that before.\" There. That should get them to\u2014\n\n\"Nonsense. The meeting is tonight at the rec center. Be there at seven.\" Marie donned her gloves.\n\n\"Wait. I can't.\" Avery stood. \"My mom has book club and there's no one to watch Hailey. Besides that, I'm just too busy.\"\n\nGayle smiled as if this had all gone according to their crazy plan. \"The meetings are only ninety minutes once a week. Every two weeks if there's not an event coming up. Cade can watch Hailey while you're away.\"\n\nCade flinched. \"I what?\"\n\nAvery's temples started to throb. \"No. Hailey has special needs, and I'd need someone responsible who knows\u2014\"\n\n\"Are you saying I'm not responsible?\" Cade crossed his arms, his brows lifting.\n\nDang it. \"No, of course not. It's just\u2014\"\n\n\"I _am_ responsible. And for your information, I could handle a kid for a couple of hours.\"\n\n\"Perfect.\" Marie moved to the door before Avery could even blink, her sisters following. \"Cade will babysit Hailey, and we'll see you at the meeting. I knew this would work nicely.\"\n\nThey walked out with the same flair as when they'd strode in, leaving Avery's mouth agape. She stared at the door, trying to figure out if she was pissed off or freaked out.\n\nGabby grinned and slung an arm around her shoulders. \"You'll do a great job.\" With that complete statement of non-help, she went back into Flynn's office.\n\nSlowly, Avery turned to Cade.\n\n\"I walked right into that.\" He shook his head. \"Twenty-eight years and you'd think I'd know when I was being trapped. Don't look at me like that. They're sneaky. Tricky. You were standing right here, too.\"\n\nShe sighed. \"What did I just get myself into? And don't think you're off the hook. I can double book you on 'depressed' cats for the next three months.\"\n\nCade sprawled into the extra office chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. His dark blue scrubs stretched over the lean muscles of his thighs and biceps, momentarily distracting her.\n\nHe slapped his hand on his leg. \"Redwood Ridge does several community events throughout the year. Mostly holidays, but the funds raised go to causes like the rec center, the fire department, the library. The event coordinator kinda oversees all of that.\"\n\nAvery had spent a good amount of her time planning parties for Richard and his law firm. But it had been more than two years since they'd separated and she'd done nothing on this grand a scale. For a whole town? She was just beginning to get settled into the new job, new home. And Hailey wasn't accustomed to this many strangers around. She'd been doing really well in school and the rec center, but to leave her one-on-one with a man she barely knew was not something Avery was comfortable with, even if Cade was trustworthy.\n\nHeck, none of this was what Avery was used to. For ten years, she'd been isolated from others in the Stowe mansion, raising Hailey with no assistance and little more than herself for company.\n\nAvery sat in the chair across from Cade. She needed to give him an out. \"About you babysitting, I'll just take Hailey with me, or find someone...\"\n\nShe trailed off as his gaze met hers. Something like hurt flashed in his eyes, twisting his mouth, but then it was gone. He stared at her for a beat as if trying to calculate her reaction or his own. All she could think was, why didn't he want an out? Single, attractive man, Friday night\u2014surely he didn't want to babysit.\n\nIt was hard to get a read on him. Usually he was charming and playful. A few times, he'd teetered on irritation, but always he was good with the animals. Patient. Kind.\n\nHer breath caught. She could've sworn it was interest looking back at her, like the other night on her porch, but without the heat, the desire. Swallowing, she forced herself to look away when her cheeks flamed.\n\nScratching his jaw, he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. \"I can stay with Hailey for a couple of hours.\" His gaze bore into hers, not a trace of humor in them. \"I get the impression you don't lean on people often. It may seem like I got roped into it, and maybe I did, but that doesn't mean I don't want to do it.\" A moment passed, then two. \"She's a great kid, Avery.\"\n\nCade had spent a few hours with Hailey and thought she was a great kid. Richard had been her father and never saw it. Coming from any other guy, it might've sounded like a line. But no. Cade was genuine, from the inflection in his low voice to his direct gaze to his actions when around Hailey. A person couldn't fake sincerity.\n\nShe closed her eyes and leaned her head back. \"I'll drive you batshit with instructions. Blow up your phone with texts.\"\n\nHe rose and walked past her. \"I can take it.\"\n\n# Chapter 7\n\nCade had just enough time to head home and shower after work before needing to be at Avery's. Figuring he'd bring along his black lab, Freeman, so he could play with Seraph, he snagged the extra leash from the kitchen on his way in.\n\nStripping off his scrub top, he turned to head upstairs to the bathroom and paused at the living room threshold. Cutin was hanging by all fours from the front bay window drapes.\n\nStoically sitting on the floor was Freeman, one eyebrow quirked as if to say, _it was your idea to bring home a cat._\n\nCade cleared his throat.\n\nCutin squeaked out a meow and turned her head upside down to address him. _There was a wrinkle. I was just straightening it for you._\n\nSighing, he picked up the kitten and set her on his shoulder\u2014since that seemed to be her favorite spot when not clutching the drapes, shower curtain, or kitchen towel rack\u2014and walked upstairs to the bathroom.\n\n\"You're getting declawed on Monday. Just so you know.\"\n\nMeow.\n\n\"Don't take that tone with me.\"\n\nSetting her on the vanity, he stripped the rest of the way and showered off the clinic aroma. After toweling dry, he put Cutin back on his shoulder and headed into his bedroom.\n\n\"I'm going to be gone for a bit tonight. You will not destroy anything in my absence. Got it?\"\n\n_Meow_.\n\n\"Don't be sassy.\" He set her on the bed, dressed, and went to fetch Freeman. \"Who wants to go for a ride?\"\n\nFreeman, not one to bark, lifted his paw.\n\nTwenty minutes later, Cade found himself leaning against Avery's kitchen counter with his arms crossed as the dogs got to know each other and Avery fluttered around like the end of days was looming. She'd been talking nonstop for fifteen minutes while making PB&J for dinner, and if Hailey weren't sitting at the kitchen table, he'd be tempted to shut Avery up. With his mouth.\n\nShe was adorable all worked up. Flushed cheeks, hands flailing. Admittedly, he'd only caught about half the things she'd said because he found looking at her much more interesting. Those jeans molding her perfect ass weren't helping matters any. She had a great body. Curves and soft edges, not a rail with nothing to hold.\n\nShe huffed a breath. \"Are you listening?\"\n\nNot really. \"I should only let Hailey play with matches after dark, feed her candy bars and soda for snack, and scary movies are acceptable if she won't go to sleep. Got it.\" He sat next to Hailey at the table and held up a fist for her to bump. \"Oh, come on. You can't leave a guy hanging.\"\n\nHe was never really sure if Hailey was hearing him, as she never made eye contact and she always seemed to be deep in her head. Ducking his face close to hers, he grinned. \"Make a fist, squirt.\" When she did after a brief delay, he gently bumped his fist with hers. \"There you go. Don't leave me hanging again or no sugar high for you later.\"\n\nHailey whooped out a laugh, rough and short, but Cade's chest swelled at the small connection. The girl's round cheeks split in a smile as she glanced somewhere over his head. Sometimes she looked so much like Avery.\n\n\"Would you please be serious?\"\n\nCade reined in his grin. Avery was worried about leaving her daughter and he got that. All attempts to pacify that anxiety hadn't worked, so he met her gaze from across the room. \"She gets sick from dairy, she's prone to wandering, she's already in PJs, bedtime is eight, brush teeth first, cue her to potty, watch thirty minutes of her sleep video, and try not to touch her, especially on her head.\"\n\nAvery's head whipped back, gorgeous brown eyes blinking rapidly. \"Um...yes.\" She glanced around, clearly uneasy. \"You have my cell number?\"\n\n\"The first twenty times you asked. I got this. Go.\"\n\nShe sighed and looked down, where Seraph was doing his best to chase Freeman's tail. Finally, without anything else to nag about, she tapped Hailey's arm. \"Pretty please be good for Cade. I'll be back after you go to sleep, but I'll check in on you. Okay?\"\n\nHailey dug into her sandwich as an answer.\n\nAfter Avery left, Cade eyed his own sandwich and glass of milk Avery had set out. Wiping a hand down his face, he ate in silence, watching the dogs. Seraph was still wearing the cone around his neck to keep him from chewing off the bandages from his amputation. He was due in Monday for suture removal and a follow-up. Figuring he'd save Avery a trip, he looked at Hailey.\n\n\"Hey, squirt. Wanna be my assistant? Seraph's all better now, so we can get all that junk off him. What do you do say?\"\n\nShe squealed and flapped her hands, which he took as a yes.\n\n\"Awesome. Finish your...rice milk\"\u2014he shuddered\u2014\"and we'll hop to it.\"\n\nSince she was prone to wandering, he brought Hailey outside with him to the car to get supplies and headed back in. After tossing their paper plates away, he rinsed out Hailey's empty cup and set his on the counter so he could put Seraph on the table.\n\n\"Okay, squirt. Just stand next to me and pet your puppy while I check his ouchie.\" He turned when she didn't move and found her drinking his milk. \"Shoot, no. That's regular milk.\"\n\nTaking the glass from her, he eyed the contents and tried to determine how much she drank, but it couldn't have been much. He dumped the rest, filled a cup of water, and gave it to her. \"Just thirsty, eh? I hope that little bit didn't make you sick.\"\n\nShe seemed no worse for wear after a minute, so he pointed to the table and repeated his instructions. After a small delay, she did as he asked and petted Seraph's back while he removed the bandages.\n\nThe wound was closed and there were no signs of infection, so he opened a sterile disposable suture removal kit. \"Doing a great job, squirt.\" He bent and quickly snipped the sutures before feeling around the area. The puppy wiggled at all the attention, but Cade got it done without too much headache. \"I think we can take the cone off now.\"\n\nHailey squealed. Seraph barked.\n\nHe laughed and removed the cone, then tossed the stuff into the garbage. \"How about we give this guy a bath?\" Because of the injury, Cade had instructed Avery not to bathe Seraph, even though he needed one.\n\nFreeman took off for parts unknown at the word \"bath.\" For a lab, he hated water immensely. Hopefully Seraph was more cooperative than his own dog.\n\nHe rummaged around the bathroom until finding kid shampoo, then made his way back to the kitchen. He pulled a chair up to the counter, filled the sink with warm soapy water, and encouraged Hailey to climb on the chair before setting Seraph in the sink.\n\n\"I'm going to stand behind you, squirt. If I'm too close, just use your elbow on me.\" Straddling the chair, he caged Hailey in front of him and brought his arms around her. She didn't seem bothered, so he passed her a cup. \"Go ahead and pour water over the doggy.\"\n\nShe didn't seem to understand, so he gently wrapped his fingers around where hers held the cup and dipped it into the water, then poured it over Seraph.\n\nThe puppy yipped and shook his head, flinging suds and water everywhere. Hailey whooped out another laugh, which pulled one of his own from deep in his chest.\n\nBy the time they were done there was more water on them and the floor than in the sink. He towel-dried Seraph and set him on the floor, then cleaned up the mess. His pocket buzzed with two incoming texts as he dropped the towels into the washing machine in the room off the kitchen. But Hailey needed to change, so he fished around her dresser drawers and came up with a new set of pajamas.\n\n\"Can you dress by yourself?\" He made a show of covering his eyes and hoped the girl got the hint. When the rustle of clothing quieted, he peeked. \"Good job, squirt.\"\n\nHailey settled on the couch with her sleepy-time show. He tossed her wet PJs into the washer and checked his cell.\n\nAvery: Everything okay?\n\nAvery: Why aren't u answering?\n\nGrinning, he shook his head while thinking of how to answer. Deciding to goad her, he thumbed out his response.\n\nYep. Two corpses. Everything's fine.\n\nJust as he wondered if she'd get the reference, her response came back.\n\nAvery: Did you just quote the movie Clue to me?\n\nYes, ma'am. Impressed you knew that.\n\nAvery: Love that movie. How's Hailey?\n\nShe's fine. Stop texting and pay attention to ur meeting.\n\nHailey grabbed the hem of his damp shirt and tugged. He pocketed his phone and realized she looked a little pale. \"You all right, squirt? You\u2014\"\n\nWithout any preamble, she bent over and yakked down the front of him. Not just threw up\u2014no-no\u2014but projectile. White, milky vomit with chunks of PB&J. Oh, the stench. He'd never eat it again. Never.\n\nHe stilled, palms up, waiting to see if she was finished, unsure of how to handle this. He'd been yakked on a hundred times by animals, but never a tiny human. \"Wow. So that just happened.\"\n\nShe wailed, flapping her hands and jumping in place. Completely unlike her happy-flapping, the distress from her had panic rising in his chest.\n\nHe squatted. \"Hey, hey,\" he cooed. \"No biggie. We'll just...uh.\" Hissing a breath, he stood. \"Okay, wait right here.\"\n\nHe went to turn for the bathroom when he realized his clothes had to go or he'd drip the contents of Hailey's stomach all over the house. A quick survey showed she didn't get any on herself. At least there was that.\n\nSetting his phone on the counter, he quickly stripped down to his boxers and tossed the soiled clothes into the washer, added extra detergent, then started a load. He used some disinfectant wipes he found under the sink to wipe down the floor. Hailey never moved, but at least she had her color back.\n\n\"This would look so bad if someone were to walk in right now.\" Grown man in his skivvies with an eight-year-old girl.\n\nHe washed his hands and walked Hailey to the living room to finish her show. \"Be right back, squirt.\"\n\nHopping from foot to foot\u2014because the temp had dropped to twenty degrees\u2014he ran like a lunatic to his car, grabbed his extra set of scrubs, and thanked God that Avery didn't have neighbors. Once inside, he dressed and eased down next to Hailey on the couch.\n\nShould he call his mom? She'd know what to do. Except it would be all over Twitter in under an hour. Or call Avery? But she'd freak.\n\nThe kid seemed okay now. Her complexion looked normal, at least.\n\n\"Hey, squirt. I know you don't like it, but I'm just gonna feel your forehead.\" Slowly, he lifted his hand and pressed his palm to her cheek, then her forehead. Didn't feel hot or anything.\n\nHailey shoved his hand away, never taking her gaze from the TV.\n\n\"Okay, okay. All done.\" He blew out a breath and closed his eyes for a moment. \"You really do get sick on dairy, yeah?\"\n\nThe dogs circled the floor and laid down next to each other. Seraph was getting around really well with just the three legs. He'd grown a bit in the week since his surgery and the tan cotton puppy fuzz was beginning to look more like fur. Another few weeks and he'd resemble more dog than puppy.\n\nThe credits rolled on Hailey's show. He cut the power and followed her into the bathroom, watching as she brushed her teeth.\n\n\"So, um... Your mom says to go potty, too, yeah? I'm just going to...you know...step out.\" He waited outside the door, back turned, while Hailey hopefully had peeing by herself mastered.\n\nHe breathed when the distinct tinkle hit water. Waiting a few moments until a flush sounded, he helped her wash her hands and nudged her toward her bedroom.\n\nShe climbed onto the bed and pulled the covers up. Cade realized he should've paid more attention to Avery because now he wasn't sure what to do. Turn on a nightlight? Kiss her on the forehead good night?\n\nHe switched off the overhead light. Not finding a nightlight, he flicked on a lamp on the dresser in case she got scared and eyed Hailey's adorable little body, her heavy lids. She was an effing cutie. Dark hair just like Avery's and round cheeks. Hailey's eyes were blue, though, unlike Avery's brown.\n\nDeciding to leave the door open, just in case, he lifted his hand. \"Night, squirt. I'm right out here if you feel sick again or need anything.\"\n\nHailey sat up, the covers falling to her waist.\n\nCade stilled, wracking his brain for instructions he might've forgotten. \"Want me to stay in here?\"\n\nShe didn't move, so he turned off the lamp and sat next to her hip until she lay down again. The dogs came in, Freeman flopping on the floor by the foot of the bed and Seraph doing his damnedest to climb up by Hailey. Perhaps that was why she'd sat up. Used to sleeping with the dog?\n\nFiguring it wouldn't hurt, he picked up Seraph and set him on the bed. Both puppy and child sighed, closing their eyes. Double damn. That was adorable.\n\nExhausted, he stretched out crossways on the foot of her bed, head and feet hanging off, but at least he was right next to her if she needed anything.\n\n\"This babysitting thing is a lot of work, yeah?\"\n\nNo one answered, of course.\n\nAlong with complete muscle annihilation from tension, a fullness rose in his chest, a peace of sorts, at the night's events. A lot of work, yeah, but kind of rewarding in a way. The kid was pretty great when she wasn't puking on him, and getting her to laugh had felt damn good.\n\nThey didn't even burn the place down. Go them.\n\n* * * *\n\nHating to admit it, Avery was glad she'd gone to the meeting. Once she got past the questions of how her date with Cade went\u2014and repeatedly relaying it wasn't a date, just drinks with friends\u2014the night wasn't so bad.\n\nBesides Cade's mom and two aunts, there were five other women on the event committee. All of them were very nice and appreciative she'd taken the position. Not that she'd had a choice in the matter. Or a say.\n\nRedwood Ridge apparently celebrated most holidays as a community. It was sweet in a small town way. Tonight's meeting had been to discuss the Valentine's dance next month. In year's past, they'd done it in the high school gym, but the other ladies claimed it had been just blah, not romantic, and wanted more pizzazz. Their words, not hers.\n\nAvery had suggested a change of venue, easy enough, and they'd gone bonkers in glee. The dance would now be held at the botanical gardens, since they had a hall attached to the nursery dome. To boost interest and numbers, Avery had offered up the idea for a note exchange in the week before the dance.\n\nMarie, having loved the idea, would use her mayoral power to have the rec center kids make heart-shaped notes and pass them to the post office for delivery. People would place an order, with phrasing, and the whole thing would go down like a secret admirer swap. Best of all, the money went to charity. Each event the town held would. The Valentine's dance funds were going to the art program at the high school.\n\nPulling up to the cabin, she grabbed her purse and went inside, anxious to see how Cade had done watching Hailey. After his teasing text, she hadn't heard anything from him. It had taken a lot of willpower not to call fifty times.\n\nPausing by the couch, she set her purse down on a table and glanced around. The kitchen light was on, the washing machine in spin cycle, and the house was quiet. Too quiet. Cade was nowhere in sight, nor were the dogs. Beginning to panic, she rushed down the hall to Hailey's room and stopped dead in her tracks.\n\nCade's dog, Freeman, lifted his head from where he was sleeping on the floor and set it back down, uninterested in her arrival. Hailey was tucked in, sound asleep, her dark lashes shadowing her round cheeks.\n\nBut Cade\u2014God, her heart squeezed\u2014was draped over the foot of the bed, face down, legs and head dangling off the mattress, lightly snoring with Seraph curled in a fuzzy ball on his butt.\n\nShe clutched her chest at the... _adorableness_. Her throat suddenly got tight.\n\nCarefully stepping deeper into the room, she gingerly picked up Seraph off Cade's very tight, sexy backside and nuzzled the warm, sleepy puppy before setting him next to Hailey. Cade must've removed Seraph's cone, and the bandages were gone, too. He'd saved her an extra trip to his office by doing that.\n\nCade's head jerked up, his worried gaze falling on Hailey before relief filled his eyes. He rubbed his neck and spotted Avery. \"Hey, you're home.\" The sleepy, hoarse baritone pulled a tiny shiver from her.\n\nHe rolled over and rose slowly, all sinew and grace, his gaze on Hailey to make sure he didn't wake her. Her chest pinched again. At full height, he stretched and scrubbed his hands through his hair, making it stand on end.\n\nIt seemed too intimate, standing and staring, but damn he was something to look at. And here she thought her libido had been permanently broken. He wasn't wearing the same clothes from earlier. Instead he had on dark blue scrubs, his feet bare. Noticing her questioning glance, he tilted his head toward the doorway.\n\nShe nodded and bent down to kiss Hailey's cheek, taking a moment to run her fingers through the silkiness of her hair before following Cade into the kitchen.\n\nHe looked around as if confused, then glanced at the clock. \"It's still early. Guess she wiped me out.\" He offered a nervous laugh.\n\nIgnoring the urge to\u2014she didn't know, but it would be stupid\u2014she rubbed her arms. Scratch that. She knew exactly what she had in mind. She wanted to climb his body, kiss him to the point of breathlessness, and snuggle in his warmth.\n\nShe cleared her throat. \"How did it go?\"\n\n\"Uh...yeah.\" He scratched his jaw. \"Don't get mad, but when my back was turned, Hailey took a sip of my milk. For future reference, I prefer beer. Anyway, it wasn't much, but she kinda got sick. All over me.\"\n\nShe pressed her lips together to try not to smile, but it was pointless. He was so flustered the grin escaped. Obviously Hailey was no worse for wear, so everything was fine. He'd handled it. \"So those are your clothes in the washer?\"\n\n\"Yeah. And some towels. We gave Seraph a bath after I took his stitches out.\" He looked behind him at the laundry room and then at her grin. \"You can just give me back the clothes on Monday at work\u2014\" He crossed his arms suddenly. \"Stop smiling like that. You're really not mad?\"\n\nShe pressed a hand to her lips, shoulders shaking. \"No, I'm not mad. I tried to tell you not to leave a cup around. She picks up anything\u2014\"\n\n\"I wasn't listening that closely. Lesson learned.\"\n\nShe sobered a little. \"I'm sorry she got sick on you, though. Not fun. And thanks for doing all that for Seraph. It was really nice.\"\n\n\"Not a problem.\" He looked at her through blue eyes, humor gone and replaced with a soft affection. One corner of his mouth quirked as if undecided if his thoughts were funny or stupid.\n\nStatic charged the few feet between them. Pulling. His gaze never left hers as his throat worked a swallow. She'd kill to know what he was thinking, but something told her his thoughts weren't far from her own, that he was feeling the slow heat.\n\n\"Do you want something to drink?\" she asked, and her voice came out more sultry than normal.\n\nHe cleared his throat twice before answering. \"Yeah, sure. Whatever you have.\"\n\nStarting a pot of coffee\u2014decaf or she'd never sleep\u2014she focused on her task so she wasn't tempted to look at him. Eye. Gasm. \"Everything else went okay?\"\n\n\"Kosher. How was the meeting?\"\n\nShe turned. \"You know, it was actually kind of fun. I don't know if it was the adult interaction or just getting away from the house on my own, but I liked it. The ladies were nice. Gossips, but nice. They acted as if everything I said was an epiphany. I think they just needed a fresh set of eyes and ears. Anyway, the committee isn't too demanding, so I think I can handle it. Don't tell them I said that.\"\n\nHe'd taken a seat at the table while she was gabbing, his chin now on his palm and a lazy grin tipping his lips. \"Our secret.\"\n\nCrap on a cracker, he was yummy. Her pulse sped. She turned away. \"I'll have to get a sitter for Friday nights. Do you know anyone? One of the high school students, perhaps?\"\n\n\"I can do it.\"\n\nShe gripped the counter. Hard. \"An attractive single guy like you, occupied every Friday night? Can't ask you to do that.\" At the bar the other night, that woman had draped herself all over him. It wasn't the first instance, either. Since then, three new pictures with clingy females had all popped up on new boards.\n\n\"You think I'm attractive?\"\n\nOrdering her knees to lock and hold her upright, she faced him. \"Coy is unbecoming.\" Not really, because her cheeks were flaming, but it seemed like a decent thing to say.\n\n\"I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm merely interested that you find me attractive.\" He leaned back in his chair, stretching his legs out. \"And you didn't ask me to do anything. I offered. I'll watch Hailey during your meetings.\"\n\nUnsure, she poured them each a cup of coffee and brought them to the table. Grabbing cream and sugar, she set those down, too. She took a chair next to him, her leg brushing his until she shifted. The intimacy wasn't lost on her. The two of them sitting in the dim kitchen, drinking coffee together. Richard, when they'd still been together, hadn't been home much, and when he had been, he certainly hadn't sat at the table and chatted. Back then, it was usually just her and Hailey eating meals together. It was odd having a man beside her, in her home.\n\n\"She's a great kid, Avery.\"\n\nHer gaze shot to Cade's. And there he went again, being sincere and sweet. Most people had a hard time seeing past Hailey's disability to the girl inside. Cade didn't seem to see a handicap at all. He treated her like he did just about everyone else.\n\nShe took a sip of coffee before answering. \"Thank you.\"\n\nLeaning forward, he crossed his arms on the table. \"Is it hard for you with her not being able to talk?\"\n\nChewing her lip, she thought that over. No one had ever asked her before. \"Sometimes. She uses sign language when really frustrated, and she has a speaking app on the iPad, which has pictures and such to show what she needs if she has to. I...\"\n\nShe shook her head, her internal filter kicking in, not wanting to get too personal. He made it easy to talk to him, but he was still her boss and she didn't know what boundaries there were between them.\n\n\"You what?\"\n\nStaring at his large hands wrapped around his mug, she decided it didn't matter. Cade genuinely seemed interested. \"I guess the only time her being nonverbal bothers me is...in the little things I miss out on. The inane chatter from normal little girls, hearing a giggle.\" She paused. \"I'll never get to hear her say, 'I love you, Mommy,' like other parents take for granted.\"\n\nHe didn't say a word, but she could feel his gaze on her, quiet, intent, as she looked into her coffee. She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head, willing the flush to leave her cheeks.\n\n\"Anyway, I got used to the quiet a long time ago. At least I don't have to yell over noise, right?\" She forced a breathless laugh. God, she'd give anything to have the normal sounds of kids playing, fighting. Most parents wanted quiet. She desired the opposite.\n\nIn the silence that hung, she couldn't take it anymore and lifted her gaze to his. What she found in his eyes she hadn't seen in too many years, if ever. Not pity, but sympathy. Respect. Understanding.\n\nAwareness hummed. It had been years since someone had looked at her instead of through her. Her fingers tightened around her mug, and when he opened his mouth to speak, air trapped in her throat as she wondered if he'd shrug off the moment or embrace it.\n\nShe had no idea what she'd do if it was the latter.\n\n# Chapter 8\n\n\"Silence isn't always what it's cracked up to be,\" Cade said, and scratched his jaw at his witty, brilliant insight.\n\nHell, he'd rarely been shocked by anything. Growing up in Redwood Ridge, where everyone knew everything about you and secret was a word in the dictionary, he'd seen the best and worst people had to offer.\n\nBut sitting across from Avery at her kitchen table and listening to her share something so private his chest ached left him reeling like the floor had dropped out. He wondered how many times in his childhood he'd told his parents _I love you,_ and then tried to imagine his own hypothetical kids and how he'd feel if he never got to hear those three words.\n\nIt was more than that. The way she'd brushed off the comment and claimed to be used to quiet had him guessing she wasn't just referring to Hailey. He didn't know anything about her ex, but if the guy had let Avery go, he couldn't be too right in the head.\n\nHer cheeks were crimson. Even in the dim kitchen, he could make out the blush, and he was sorry to have embarrassed her. She met his gaze briefly, those cocoa eyes mixing with honey, and then skittered away.\n\nAnd wasn't it a crazy bitch, but he had the urge to reach across the table and pull her into his lap. Talk to her until the night waned and sunrise peeked over the mountains. Suddenly, he wanted to know everything about her, and that sent a ripple of shock and need through his gut.\n\nMostly shock. Because unless he was referring to his friends, talking wasn't what he typically sought from females.\n\nHe took a sip of his cooling coffee. \"Your ex, how is he with Hailey? I figure he's got holidays and every other weekend or something?\" And if the guy showed up in Redwood Ridge, Cade might just rearrange his face on principle.\n\nAvery shook her head, gaze trained on her cup, but weary exhaustion flitted in her eyes and was gone in a flash. \"He hasn't seen her in two years, not since I filed for divorce.\" She looked up at him and sighed. \"I have full custody. That was part of what took so long for the divorce to go through. The only thing I asked for was a small trust fund for Hailey, in case something happened to me. He didn't believe child support or a trust was pertinent if he signed parental rights away.\"\n\nForget rearranging his face. He'd break every bone in the guy's body. Instead of the plethora of choice terms that came to mind, Cade reined in his temper. \"She's better off without him. So are you.\"\n\nShe nodded. \"My sentiments exactly.\"\n\nWhen he'd asked about her ex before, she'd been tactful. Not that she wasn't now, but she wasn't choosing her words as carefully. \"You don't speak ill of him. Why?\" She had every right to, by the sound of it.\n\n\"I don't like painting him in a terrible light in front of Hailey. He might change his mind one day about seeing her, and I wouldn't want to scare her off. He's her dad.\" She sipped her coffee. \"The way I look at it, we both brought her into this world. By me bad-mouthing him, it gives her the impression half of her is bad, too.\"\n\nChrist. Her selflessness knew no bounds. Had it been him, he didn't think he'd be so mature. Anger and betrayal and hurt did things to people. It was normal to lash out and react. But it was as if her feelings didn't matter, putting only her daughter first. He shook his head in wonder, his respect for her notching near pedestal height.\n\nSince it seemed like she needed a topic change, he went back to his reason for being in her cabin in the first place. \"So what else went down at the meeting tonight? They rope you into doing anything else?\" He grinned to lighten the grief in her eyes, which he supposed was more for him than her.\n\nShe told him about moving the venue and the secret admirer exchange, which he found quite clever. \"Online invitations and flyers will go out on Monday. I guess the dance was pretty casual before, but the ladies thought something formal would be more romantic. To be allowed inside, guests must dress in red or pink to attend. And it's suit and tie.\"\n\nHe laughed. \"Like prom.\"\n\n\"Sort of.\" She shrugged, but her smile was back. \"I think it'll be a nice change of pace, at least by the sound of it.\" She gestured to his cup. \"You want me to heat that up?\"\n\n\"No, thanks. I should get going.\" Not that he wanted to.\n\nDisappointment settled in her smile, and he knew, right then and there, that she was feeling it, too. The attraction had been obvious, at least to him, from the minute she'd carried an injured Seraph into the clinic. It had only been amplifying since. He'd been taking things slow, biding his time for the moment to act instead of standing still.\n\nShe rose and rinsed their cups out in the sink. \"Thanks so much again for watching Hailey. We'll see about next week\u2014\"\n\nShe stopped the pleasantries when he came up behind her and moved her soft brown waves off her neck to expose her nape. A breath shuddered out of her mouth, and then she seemed to stop breathing altogether.\n\nLeaning in, he nuzzled the soft skin below her ear, keeping his body mere inches away, lest he jar her with his arousal. Her fruity scent encompassed him, filled him, and he fought the urge to nibble on her neck to find out if she tasted just as sweet. She didn't move, not away or closer, and he took that as a good sign.\n\nHe brought his lips to the shell of her ear. \"You didn't ask me why I don't mind babysitting your daughter on Friday nights.\"\n\nShe shivered. He grinned in satisfaction. Oh yeah, she was right there with him. And unlike before, when he'd driven her home from Shooters, she was ready to be kissed.\n\n\"This isn't a good idea, Cade.\" Her voice, a breathy whisper so unlike her usual calm, was beginning to tear his composure to shreds.\n\n\"Good ideas are rarely fun.\" He knew it was the wrong thing to say when she turned to face him, and he found her walls back up, her spine stiff.\n\nShe wasn't the type of woman to go looking for fun, playful, or short-lived, but damn if he hadn't met anyone who needed fun more than Avery. And at the moment, he was feeling the opposite of playful. Not for one second did he think this was a game.\n\n\"You're my boss, and I'm not in the market for romance.\"\n\nYep. Walls. Funny, he usually respected them. He had some of his own, for that matter.\n\nHe placed his hands on the counter behind her, caging her in and taking a step deeper into her gravitational pull. \"People don't usually shop for romance. It just happens.\" Like right now, for instance.\n\n\"You're still my boss. I need this job so I don't have to dip into Hailey's trust fund. People will think... It's not a good idea.\"\n\nPeople were going to think whatever they wanted, regardless, and her job wasn't at stake. \"Then how about we keep things just like this, until you're ready for more.\" He could do secret and he could do slow. Right? \"No one has to know unless you want them to.\"\n\nShe started to shake her head\u2014and damn, he'd never had to work this hard\u2014but he leaned in until his mouth was a whisper from hers. Her eyes widened.\n\n\"Since you refuse to ask me why I don't mind the babysitting gig, I'll tell you. I like your kid and I really like you. Your organizational mind is so hot, and I've been itching to unwind the tension from you since you alphabetized the magazines in my office. Yes, I noticed that,\" he added when she opened her mouth. \"I enjoy talking to you outside of work, like we did tonight, because you relax more and say things you normally wouldn't. Thus, the idea of seeing you every Friday night when you come home is a hell yes in my book.\"\n\nThe tiniest of wrinkles formed between her eyebrows as if she'd never heard something so ludicrous, but he could tell she was damn tempted to believe him. Wary hope and interest sparked in her eyes. \"Um...\"\n\n\"That. That right there nails home my point. You fluster the hell out of me.\" He'd put his foot in his mouth more times in the two weeks since she'd come to town than the whole of his teen years. \"And it's too much fun watching your mind go blank when I say something you're not expecting. Such as, I find you very attractive.\"\n\nShe let out an uneven breath that skated across his jaw. He went from semi-hard to _down, boy_.\n\n\"Here's the part where you say you find me attractive, too.\" He grinned for good measure, and was rewarded with the clouding of her eyes.\n\n\"You know you're attractive. I could cut my teeth on your abs, but...\"\n\nKilling him dead. \"You haven't seen my abs. Would you like to?\"\n\nThere went the eyes again, wide. A sexy as hell blush tinged her cheeks. He could all but feel the heat.\n\nFun as this was, he was sweating with the resistance. \"Going to kiss you now, Avery. Three, two, one...\"\n\nShe sucked in a breath, dragging his with her. He brushed his lips across hers, testing, getting her used to him. He hovered there, barely touching, until she took the initiative and added more pressure. Letting her test the waters, he followed her command.\n\nAs if unsure, she fumbled, tensing against him. His gut clenched with the realization she probably hadn't been kissed since filing for divorce. And hadn't she said they'd been separated before that? From the little she spoke of her marriage and from what he'd gleaned, Cade doubted the ass had paid any attention to her needs.\n\nShoving the prick from his mind, Cade cupped her jaw and took over. Confidence was a fragile thing, and he wasn't going to be the one to break hers. He tilted his head, parting his lips to take more of her. Her lids drifted shut and he was lost.\n\nOne hand at the small of her back, he eased the other into her hair to gently hold her to him. After that, he lost track of what the hell was happening. His heart jacked against his ribs, his mind vanishing in a fog of sensation.\n\nShe was soft. Everywhere. The crush of her breasts against his chest, the strands of her hair, her lips as they moved against his. So damn soft. In the space between newness and uncertainty, she found a rhythm and opened to him. Her hands fell to his shoulders and fisted. A holy shit female moan vibrated from her mouth to his. He was losing a battle with sanity.\n\n_Don't push her. Get a grip_.\n\nHe eased his mouth away and brushed a kiss to her temple, keeping her body flush with his, struggling to draw air. Her breaths panted against his neck, hot and damp. Giving himself just a moment, he stilled until the spots before his vision cleared.\n\nShe muttered something that sounded like _crap on a cracker_ , and he laughed. Looking in her lust-induced eyes, he fought the strange pleasure\/pain in his chest.\n\n\"I need to get home.\" No, he really didn't, but staying any longer would kill him.\n\nHe kissed her forehead and stepped away, not missing in the slightest that she grabbed the counter behind her as if needing it to stay upright. He whistled for his dog while dropping into a chair to shove his shoes on. Freeman strode into the room and sat by the back door as Cade shrugged into his coat.\n\n\"Why'd you name him Freeman?\"\n\nHe glanced at his dog and back to her. \"He has light markings under his eyes and the stoicism of Morgan Freeman.\" He shrugged.\n\nA slow smile spread over her face, and he had to remind himself he was leaving for a reason. \"You named your dog after an actor?\"\n\n\"Yep.\" He paused. \"Why Seraph?\" He jerked his chin toward the hallway where her puppy and child slept.\n\nHer smile turned wistful. \"When I saw Hailey snuggle up to him in the exam room, he was like an angel in that moment. I'd never seen her connect with something like she did with him.\" She rubbed her forehead and laughed. \"It's a hassle getting her to leave him to go to school. And when we get home, the dog follows her everywhere, even to the bathroom.\"\n\nThe awed expression on her face did him in. She was the type of woman to appreciate the little things, accumulate moments instead of seeing the grand spectrum of it all. Rare, indeed.\n\nHe grabbed the knob and opened the door. \"To him, you were the angels. 'Night, Avery.\"\n\n* * * *\n\nFor some strange reason, Animal Instincts was hopping the next week, more so than typical. And then on Friday, Avery checked her Twitter phone app and discovered why.\n\nCade's Aunt Rosa had tweeted about Avery taking the event committee deal and that Cade had watched Hailey while she'd been out. One of Redwood Ridge's most eligible bachelors had shown he liked kids and he could do the responsible thing, which made him even more attractive. To women, it meant he had the potential to be tied down.\n\nWhich explained the sudden crush of female owners bringing in their pets for anything from \"her coat isn't as shiny\" to \"it slept a lot yesterday\" to \"he looked at me funny.\"\n\nShe needed a bottle of wine and twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep. She'd barely tolerated the complaining clients when she'd had to shift some off of Cade's schedule to Flynn's. Even Drake had taken a couple, much to his dismay. People and Drake were not cozy bedfellows, which was why he mostly did surgeries. But she appreciated the help just the same. The patients? Not so much.\n\nFlynn came in from the back, glanced at the waiting room, and shook his head. \" _What the hell? They're still coming?\"_\n\nInstead of signing a response, she showed him her Twitter feed.\n\nHe leaned against the desk. \" _That explains it. They're vying for Cade's attention and checking out the competition.\"_\n\n\"I'm not competition. There's nothing going on between us _.\"_ Even though Cade had kissed her in her kitchen and her girly parts were still weeping with joy. The man knew how to kiss. But no one else knew that juicy tidbit.\n\n_\"Liar, liar_.\"\n\nShe shook her head. \"Whatever. I'm just glad you're able to pick up some of the slack.\" __ Luckily, Flynn and Gabby didn't have many home visits this week, so they'd helped with most of the add-on appointments.\n\nNow if she could just figure out what to do with the six casseroles in the break room fridge. Added to that, there were so many cookies and brownies that she'd gained twenty pounds just looking.\n\nCade and his recent appointment came out of an exam room. Avery couldn't remember the woman's name, but her white Persian was Fifi. No lie. Fifi. And Fifi's owner was a stacked blonde roughly in her mid-thirties who was severely underdressed for an Oregon winter.\n\nWhen they stopped by the front desk to talk, Avery turned to Flynn and signed. \"Watch this. Hair flip in point five seconds.\"\n\nOn cue, the woman let out a glass-shattering giggle and flipped her mane over her shoulder.\n\nFlynn covered his face and tried not to laugh, but his shoulders shook and he emitted an awkward snort\/groan combination.\n\nCade looked at them, narrowed his eyes, and tuned back into the senseless flirt.\n\n\"Wait for it,\" she signed. \"Casual arm touch...\"\n\nFifi's owner dropped her slender, manicured fingers to Cade's forearm and leaned in as if Cade were reciting Shakespeare naked.\n\nFlynn hunched over, face red in hysterics.\n\nCade finished the chat, sent the woman on her way, and turned to them, shoulders tense. \"What's so funny?\" he signed and spoke simultaneously, pissy eyes narrowed.\n\nFlynn sobered. Or tried to. \" _Your harem is growing by the minute.\"_\n\n\"You're hilarious.\"\n\nAvery sighed. \"They're an embarrassment to my entire gender.\"\n\nCade glanced at Avery. \"It's not like I ask for it. Seriously, what am I supposed to do with all that food? My freezer's full. So are Drake and Flynn's. And I don't encourage them, for the record.\"\n\nHe didn't discourage them, either. Which just gave her another reason not to get involved with him.\n\n\"Never said you did.\"\n\nThe look on his face dried her hilarity. He was irritated, edgy, and if she wasn't mistaken, embarrassed. His gaze dropped away from her and he closed his eyes, face tilted heavenward.\n\nGuilt churned. She didn't realize it actually bothered him\u2014her and his brother poking fun or the women treating him like a new toy. He was so affable and outgoing, letting things roll off his back. Not once, no matter how ridiculous the appointment or how busy they got, did he complain. His full charm had been cranked. Every patient was seen, and he didn't make them feel stupid for coming.\n\nFlynn strode off as they stared at one another.\n\nCade sighed. \"How's the afternoon looking? Is it just as crazy?\" He eyed the semi-full waiting room.\n\n\"Hey,\" she said softly, and waited until he met her gaze. \"Do you want me to handle this? The casseroles and desserts? I can screen the appointments better, too. Not book so full.\"\n\nHe opened his mouth as if to say something, but Brent strode up, handed him a chart, and took the next patient to exam. Cade scanned the file, breezed through what she figured was Brent's notes, and shook his head.\n\n\"Christ,\" he muttered. With his brow furrowed, he looked at her as if trying to formulate words, his gaze impenetrable. Frustration rolled off him in waves. Jaw locked, he glanced down the hallway, still making no attempt to move.\n\nAnd something clicked into place. This was all her fault. The crazy week, the women, all due to a few tweets because he'd been nice enough to help her. Her stomach sank. \"I'm sorry about all this. I'll get someone else to babysit Hailey for my meetings. It'll die down around here once the word gets out\u2014\"\n\nHe strode to her side of the desk so fast her breath seized. Gripping the arms of her chair, he put his face inches from hers. \"Know what else will calm things down? Agreeing to go out with me.\"\n\nOh. Wow. Not expected.\n\nThey hadn't officially discussed the situation after their mind-melding kiss, but he'd offered to keep things under the radar if she said yes. She hadn't said yes. She hadn't been able to say much of anything after he'd knocked her into next week. With his lips.\n\nBusiness and pleasure were not a good mix. Plus, people would think she'd gotten the job or preferential treatment because of their supposed romance. After Richard, she'd sworn off men. Two years strong. She'd been with him so long she didn't know how to do this anymore and, in honesty, Cade was way out of her league. They'd been flirty and cordial and mostly professional in the office. They hadn't seen each other out of the clinic. Things hadn't begun to get complicated yet.\n\nForcing back a shiver, she took in the perpetual shadow on his jaw, his direct blue eyes, and the scent of fabric softener. The muscles in his shoulders and forearms flexed, all predator-like. His full mouth was dialed to grim.\n\nWow. This alpha thing he had going on sometimes was just as earth-shattering as his sweet side. She forgot her own name. Her mouth dried to dust. Her heart pounded.\n\n\"Fine,\" he said at length. \"Have it your way. Our secret. I can handle the fallout. I'll be over tonight to watch Hailey.\"\n\nWith that, he shoved off her chair, straightened, and headed into an exam room.\n\nIt took her a full five seconds to remember breathing was a requirement of life.\n\n_Squawk_. \"Blurred lines.\"\n\nShe eyed the cockatoo with a frown and jumped when someone cleared their throat to get her attention.\n\nThor startled underneath the desk, hauled ass to his feet, and rammed into the counter, knocking over a few charts. Before Avery could calm the giant Great Dane, he lunged at her for protection from the big bad five-foot blonde woman holding a...turtle. Yep, a turtle.\n\nThat was the last thing she saw as her chair tipped backward, hitting the floor with a thud, leaving one hundred and fifty pounds of trembling dog sprawled over her and her feet up in the air. Flat on her back, she calculated on a one to ten scale of how embarrassing this was, and came up with an eleven. She blinked at the florescent lights overhead.\n\nShe swore She-rah laughed at her from her cat perch on the printer.\n\nFootsteps squeaked over the tile and moved closer, stopping beside her and Thor.\n\nDrake's face appeared above hers. \"He's not a lap dog.\"\n\nHe had a funny bone after all.\n\nAfter two more grueling hours, she went to pick up Hailey at the rec center, finding April and her daughter, Jenny, talking to Miles at the front desk. They'd spoken nearly every day on her lunch break when she went to visit Hailey at school, but this was the first time she'd encountered her at the center.\n\n\"Oh, hey.\" April turned Avery's way. \"I'm glad I caught you. How would you feel about getting the girls together for a sleepover at our place? They get along pretty great and it would give you a night off. I was thinking the night of the Valentine's dance, since we're not going. Plus, you'll be super busy with the event committee setting up things.\"\n\nJoy hit her first, her chest swelling and her throat tight. Hailey had an honest to God friend. But apprehension soon followed, twisting in her stomach. The girls did get along well, not that Hailey engaged much on the surface, but Avery was hesitant to agree.\n\n\"She's never been to a sleepover before.\" Hailey had never been away from Avery for an entire evening, come to think of it. She also had a lot of quirks and special needs. April was trustworthy and Jenny was a sweet girl, though. Why not let her try? \"I will be really busy that night. Could we test it out before then, that way if I need to come get her it won't be an issue?\"\n\nApril waved her hand. \"Sure. How about next Friday night? I could take them both home right from school.\"\n\nAvery wouldn't get to see Cade that night, which should've warned her the sexy vet was on her mind too much. She shook her head. \"That sounds great. I'll pack some overnight things in her schoolbag. If it goes well, you'll have to let Jenny stay with us next time.\"\n\nThey chatted for a couple minutes, and Avery collected Hailey to head home.\n\nLater, when Cade arrived at the cabin at five-thirty on the dot, Avery was still staring off into space. She looked up at him, blinking furiously to hold back tears. \"Hailey's having a sleepover next weekend. Can you believe it? She's made a friend.\"\n\n# Chapter 9\n\nCade stared at Hailey from the couch as she played a game of tic-tac-toe on her device. She'd been at it for fifteen minutes. At least she always won. \"Can I play?\"\n\nIn answer, she set the iPad down on the cushion between them and went first. Her hands flapped as her gaze darted over his shoulder.\n\nHe tapped the screen to place his X.\n\nWithout even seeming to look, she set her O.\n\nThis went on through three rounds, where she blocked his every move and won all three games. \"You're ruthless. Good game, squirt.\"\n\nShe scrolled out of the app and swiped through others. The language one Avery mentioned popped up, and Cade remembered what she'd said last week about never hearing the words _I love you_. What he knew about autism could be put in a shoebox, but maybe he could... He didn't know. Maybe teach Hailey?\n\nHe rubbed the back of his neck and figured it wouldn't hurt to try. \"What do you say we work on a project, just you and me?\" He tapped the app and fished through some of the pictures. \"Can you show me the I?\"\n\nShe didn't seem to be listening, but after a few seconds she tapped the photo of the eye and a robotic voice said \"eye.\"\n\n\"Rock on, squirt.\"\n\nShe flapped her hands and squealed.\n\nHe grinned. \"Okay, show me a heart.\"\n\nShe repeated the process, taking her time, and tapped the picture, earning a voice that said \"heart.\"\n\nNot exactly \"love,\" but close enough. \"What about the letter U? Do you know your alphabet?\" This one seemed to trip her up, so he swiped through the letters. \"It's tricky, I know. Think of a smile. That's what the letter U looks like.\" When she didn't move, he hovered over the letter.\n\nShe pushed his hand away and tapped the U, the voice calling out her comment.\n\n\"You're a pretty smart cookie.\" He shifted a little closer, still respecting her space. \"So that's how you tell your mom you love her. Eye, heart, you. Let's try it again.\"\n\nHailey backed out of the app and pulled up what looked like a neon coloring book. She dragged her finger over the screen, setting a bright pink line across the black background.\n\nClearly done with his lesson, he grinned and rolled with it. \"You like to color?\" He glanced at the fridge on the other side of the counter, but there were no pictures there. \"Be right back.\"\n\nHe stepped down the hall into Hailey's bedroom, but after sifting through her toys, he couldn't find any crayons or paper. They'd just moved, so perhaps Avery hadn't unpacked them yet. Undeterred, he went to his car and fished in his glove box for the rainbow Sharpies he kept for charting and a legal pad he had in his trunk. Items in hand, he strode back into the cabin.\n\n\"Hey, squirt. Come in the kitchen for a sec.\"\n\nDutifully, she turned off her iPad after the slightest delay and seated herself at the table.\n\nSetting the items in front of her, he pulled up a chair beside hers. \"Want to color?\"\n\nShe made no attempt to reach for the markers, so he grabbed one and uncapped it. She never glanced at him or the pad of paper as he drew a really terrible cartoon dog. When finished, he held it out for her, but she pushed it away.\n\n\"Not into coloring. Got it.\"\n\nHe glanced at the fridge again, remembering the one in his parents' kitchen growing up. It had been littered with drawings, report cards and, later, team schedules. Avery's was blank. Not even a grocery list.\n\nSighing, he eyed the girl again and her small hands planted on the table. \"Can I trace your hands? Would you let me do that?\" She didn't confirm nor deny. \"I'm going to touch your wrist to move your hand, yeah? If you don't like it, let me know.\"\n\nWatching her closely, he lifted her wrist, pushed the pad of paper over, and set her hand on top. When this didn't faze her, he bit the cap off a marker and leaned over. \"Hold real still, squirt. I'm going to make a drawing of your hand.\"\n\nQuickly, in case it bothered her, he traced an outline around her tiny fingers and sat back. To his utter shock, she set the other hand on the paper, too. He did that one as well.\n\n\"Should we have a look? Lift 'em up.\"\n\nHailey was neither ecstatic nor bored by what he'd done. She simply got up from the table unenthusiastically and went back into the living room, turning the device back on and settling on the couch.\n\n\"Right. Scratch coloring from the agenda.\"\n\nHe scrawled her name on the paper and the date. Since Avery didn't have any magnets, he'd hunted up some tape from a drawer and secured the drawing to the fridge. He glanced at the clock.\n\n\"Hey, squirt. Time to turn on your sleepy show.\"\n\nAfter poking his head over the back of the couch to make sure she complied, he let the dogs out and sat next to her. No wonder this was a bedtime ritual. The video was dragging his eyes closed. Cartoon sketches danced and swirled to drone, soothing music until finally, blessedly, the credits rolled.\n\nHe cued her to go potty, covering his eyes while she did, and then waited for her to brush her teeth. Leaning against the doorway, he couldn't get his mind off how the kid was so well behaved. Unless she didn't understand his directions, she pretty much did whatever was asked.\n\nCade and his brothers had been hellions at her age, always getting into mischief, to which his parents only knew the half. Girls must be tamer by nature. He figured even if Hailey were verbal, she'd still be quiet and cooperative.\n\nLike her mom.\n\nThere were pitfalls, too. He had to refrain from tucking her hair behind her ear when it fell in her face, since she didn't like touch, and more than once he'd had to fist his hands to avoid pulling her in for a hug. The lack of eye contact and seemingly distracted nature of her condition made her hard to read. He was beginning to catch on to her slight mannerisms, though.\n\nAfter an hour of just one-on-one with the girl, he was beginning to get sick of the sound of his own voice. He wondered how Avery had done this for eight straight years. To never have a conversation, a verbal response most take for granted, could be disheartening. But when he could pull a laugh from Hailey, awkward as the sound was, or when she flapped her hands and squealed in delight, that was really something. He'd had to work hard at it, but it was all the more rewarding.\n\nShe dutifully went to her bedroom after rinsing her mouth. Tucking her in, he set Seraph on the bed beside her and called Freeman out with a whistle. Unlike last week, Hailey closed her eyes and didn't fight him.\n\n\"'Night, squirt.\" Leaving the door ajar, he made his way down the hall, grabbed some charts he brought in need of dictation, and plopped on the couch.\n\nBut after ten minutes, the words blurred in front of him as he kept remembering the expression on Avery's face when he'd first arrived. She looked like she'd been slapped upside the head, her pretty lips parted and her unfocused brown eyes wide. A sleepover for Hailey, a normal girly ritual, a right of passage, had put that awe on her face.\n\nGiving up on the charts, he made his way into the kitchen to start a pot of decaf, since Avery would be back any minute. When it was brewing, he opened the fridge to grab creamer, and stilled.\n\nShe had a six-pack of beer in the door. He stared at the bottles of his favorite brand, trying to remember if she drank the stuff. The only time he'd seen her drink had been the one night at Shooters, and she'd had wine.\n\nHe closed the fridge and rubbed his neck. Jokingly last week, after discussing the Hailey milk incident, he'd told Avery he preferred beer. Had she taken him literally? His gaze landed on the door again, and he knew she had. Hell, she'd bought him beer.\n\nUnsure what to make of this as it seemed such an intimate act, he went back to his charts until she came in the kitchen door and set her purse down on the table.\n\nHe rose from the couch and walked closer. \"Hey. How was your meeting?\"\n\nShe'd changed out of her professional work clothes before she left, but he got a better look now. Her jeans were faded at the stress points, molding her curves, and the plain blue tee barely skimmed below the waistband. He'd bet if he asked her to reach high for something, he'd catch a peek of bare skin.\n\nShe laughed, drawing him back to her face. \"I'll give your aunt this, when she wants something, she's tenacious. Marie not only got the post office onboard for the admirer note exchange, she's got the rec center kids thinking it's a top secret mission.\"\n\nLeaning against the counter, he crossed his arms. \"Sounds like it was productive then.\"\n\nShe hummed in her throat and glanced at the coffeepot. After staring at it for a few moments, an unreadable expression on her face, she blinked. \"How was Hailey?\" She glanced down the length of him. \"I see she didn't get sick this time.\"\n\n\"Ha. No, we survived. She kicked my ass in tic-tac-toe.\"\n\nHer grin stopped his heart. \"She's quite good at that game. Let me just peek in on her. I'll be right back.\"\n\nAs she disappeared, he poured them each a cup of coffee and settled at the table to wait. When she came back, she eyed the cups and turned for the fridge, freezing in place with her hand mid-air over the handle.\n\nAnd he found himself holding his own breath.\n\n* * * *\n\nAvery swallowed hard, unable to tear her gaze from the paper on her fridge with the outline of her daughter's tiny hands. She recognized Cade's distinctive handwriting below them from his charts, the block letters and scratch.\n\n\"Tried to get her to color, but she wouldn't.\" The rough, quiet timbre of his voice held an edge of uncertainty.\n\n\"No,\" she breathed. \"She doesn't like it. The therapists tried getting her to attempt it several times. She'll do it on the iPad sometimes.\"\n\nHe grunted. \"Are you going to stare at that all night?\"\n\nConcern laced his tone, so she turned. He studied her with solemn eyes, his brow furrowed just enough to make out his uneasiness. Was he worried she'd be mad?\n\nShe pointed to the picture. \"That's her first art project.\"\n\nHe opened and closed his mouth, but ultimately said nothing.\n\n\"I have a few stored away from teachers and therapists, but they were wielded with them holding her hand. Nothing just from her.\"\n\nHe shifted uncomfortably in his seat. \"That's not original, either. I traced her hands.\"\n\nSince he wouldn't understand this _was_ unique, that he'd put her daughter's hands to something in the only way she'd allow, she opened the fridge and grabbed the creamer. She walked to the table and sat next to him, thinking first thing tomorrow, she'd buy a frame for that simple, endearing paper taped to her fridge.\n\nSilence stretched as they sipped their coffee, until he finally cleared his throat. \"So Hailey has a sleepover next Friday, yeah? Are you going to get a wink of sleep?\"\n\nThis dragged a laugh from her, which she assumed was his goal. \"Most likely not. She's never been away from home. I'll probably need a sedative not to call a hundred times.\"\n\nHis smile was sigh-worthy. \"April is good people. Hailey will be safe with her.\" He leaned forward and scratched his jaw. \"She and her husband moved here something like ten years ago. Nice family.\"\n\nAvery got the same impression, but said nothing.\n\nHe shook his head, grin widening into swoon-worthy territory. \"You'll still pace the floors with worry.\"\n\nShe nodded and looked away before she climbed over the table to lick him. \"I'll still pace the floor with worry,\" she confirmed. Then, she placed her palm to her forehead and laughed at how well he knew her after such a short time. Crazy, that. Even more insane was how easy he was to be around.\n\n\"Avery.\"\n\nShe glanced up.\n\nHis smile slipped, his gaze falling to her mouth. He muttered something unintelligible, kicked his foot out, and wrapped his leg around the rung of her chair. Slowly, he dragged her chair in front of his until their knees bumped, his gaze never leaving hers. He leaned forward, not touching her, but the heated desire in his eyes was an instant bolt of contact.\n\nShe let out an uneven breath. \"What are you doing?\"\n\n\"Honest to God, I don't know.\" After his whispered confession, his gaze took her in\u2014her hair, her eyes, her mouth\u2014as if trying to figure it out. \"I never know what the hell I'm doing around you.\" His lips parted like he wanted to say more, but he just shook his head and pressed his mouth to hers.\n\nLike the first time he'd kissed her, he brushed her lips with a tender caress, cajoling her into joining him. The unfamiliar contact was a mere blink of uncertainty before fire flared in her belly. Spread. Consumed. She breathed in his scent of male and fabric softener, but it didn't ground her as she'd hoped.\n\n\"Been wanting to do that all week,\" he said against her mouth. \"Kiss me back, Avery. Like you mean it. Give me some idea you're as\u2014\"\n\nShe sealed her lips to his, tilting her head to probe at a different angle. Parting her lips, she tentatively licked his lower lip, hoping he'd open. On a groan, he complied, and when their tongues finally met for the first time, something inside her snapped. Control and reason broke free of their leash and disappeared. Her hands fisted in the thick softness of his hair.\n\nHe sucked air through his nose and, never breaking the kiss, dropped his hands to her thighs and squeezed. A bolt of need shot straight to her core, causing an ache she hadn't experienced in too long, if ever.\n\nOh... His hands were on the move, sliding under her thighs. He lifted her from her chair as if she weighed nothing and deposited her in his lap to straddle him, bringing their chests flush. His hard to her soft.\n\nHe tore away to press his mouth to her throat, gulping air in tandem with her attempts to do the same. \"Slow down,\" he murmured against her skin, even as his tongue darted out to lick her pounding pulse.\n\nA shiver ripped through her body, his touch lighting her nerves, but she unclenched her fingers from his hair and eased back a smidgen to adhere to his request.\n\n\"Not you.\" He held her hips. \"I was talking to myself.\"\n\nHe lifted his head to look in her eyes, his drugged with the same fever. Then his mouth was pressed to hers again, kissing her blind. Desperate. Her breasts grew heavy, aching to be touched, so she crushed them to the hard wall of his chest to alleviate the throbbing. But then other parts began to throb, and the urge to grind into the thick bulge between them was almost feral.\n\nShe whimpered into his mouth, needing...something. Him? He groaned in response, his hands moving north to play with the hem of her shirt. His warm fingers dipped beneath on their way to her ribs, and she tensed.\n\nHe stopped on a dime, sensing her shift. Slowly, he drew back far enough to look in her eyes. \"Sorry. Too fast. Thought and reason aren't really processing just now.\" Though coarse with need, his voice was quiet, apologetic, making her fumble to formulate an explanation.\n\n\"It's just...\" She hadn't been touched in God knew how long and the hard pecs below her palms were a direct contrast to her rounded curves. He was all edges and yum and she...wasn't.\n\n\"Just what?\"\n\n\"I haven't had the time to do a lot of exercise or my usual yoga, and I might not be in the best shape, or what you're used to.\" She pinched her eyes closed as heat flared in her cheeks.\n\nWhen he didn't say anything for several erratic beats, she peeked. His jaw was clenched and his blue eyes glacial. Her heart stuttered to a halt.\n\n\"I swear, if you tell me that asshole ex of yours called you fat, or so much as implied it, I'm driving to where he is to beat the shit out of him. Tonight.\"\n\nAir seeped from her lungs. She'd had a hard time losing the baby fat after delivering Hailey, but she'd worked hard because the disgust in Richard's eyes had been palpable. But getting back to her target weight hadn't mattered in the long run because he'd sought someone much thinner and prettier from his office for his gratification. The betrayal and hurt, even after all this time, cut deep.\n\nIf she hadn't been enough to satisfy Richard, and they'd been college sweethearts bringing little experience to the relationship, how was she supposed to believe she could do so for Cade, who had worlds of knowledge and a trail of women in his wake?\n\n\"What's his address?\" Cade ground, drawing her gaze back to his.\n\nHer stomach rolled, and she looked away. \"It wasn't him.\"\n\nRichard wasn't to blame. No matter how he'd treated her, she was responsible for believing him or not. It was her old ghosts screwing with her head, and she thought she'd gotten over them.\n\nCade had been into it moments ago. His heart was still pounding beneath her palm, though she suspected that was in anger now and not lust. But his erection said he'd been turned on, too. Yet she'd doused that flame with reality, and the moment was lost.\n\n\"Avery\u2014\"\n\n\"No, it's okay.\" She climbed off his lap and he winced. From the loss of contact or something else, she couldn't tell. \"It's getting late, anyway.\"\n\nHe stared at her a few more seconds and rose, whistling for Freeman. Cade stepped into his shoes and walked into the living room. The dog strode into the kitchen and waited by the back door while she made herself busy by rinsing out their cups at the sink.\n\nShe didn't turn when Cade came back, but his gaze bore holes into her. She gripped the counter as he sidled up behind her, setting a small stack of charts down by her hand.\n\n\"Look at me.\"\n\nShe shook her head, her stomach knotting. This was a bad idea to get involved with him. He was a playboy who probably just saw the challenge in her. If things at the clinic became uncomfortable because of this flash romance, she'd have a hard time finding another position. People already figured she got her current job by sleeping with Cade. Plus, she had enough on her plate, had been burned enough to know better.\n\nYet she couldn't deny the pull, the flutter in her stomach when she was around Cade. He managed to make her feel giddy again. Hopeful.\n\nCade ignored her denial and turned her to face him. His eyes sharpened in understanding, his mouth a thin line. \"I'm not him.\"\n\nShe sighed. No, he wasn't anything like Richard, and to even compare the two was an insult to Cade. \"I know. I think I just need time to get used to having someone interested again. Been a long time.\" She laughed nervously and tried to step away.\n\nHe put an arm out to stop her. \"I'm interested. Make no mistake about that.\"\n\nShe lifted her gaze to his, and the breath punched from her chest. With dizzying absolution, she was positive no one had ever looked at her with the same desire and patience. And this thing between them had the potential to hurt her more than anything her ex had ever attempted.\n\nCade leaned in and kissed her. It was a gentle meeting, not passion-filled or hungry, and somehow that tripped her pulse more than what they'd done earlier.\n\nEasing back, he looked into her eyes. \"I wasn't going to take tonight any further than what we were doing. I'll go as slow as you want. Just do me a favor and push him from your head when we're together, yeah?\"\n\nBefore an intelligent response could squeak past her lips, he grabbed his charts and was gone.\n\n# Chapter 10\n\nNear lunchtime on Monday, Cade exited an exam room, sent Martha and her \"depressed\" hamster up front, rolled his eyes, and headed toward the break room to grab some water. He slammed into Flynn.\n\nHis brother grinned. \" _I want to show you something_.\" He crooked his finger, so Cade followed, since he was headed in that direction, anyway.\n\nFlynn paused at the fridge. \" _Take a look inside_.\"\n\nSighing\u2014because Cade knew there would be twenty more casseroles inside as they were back to back with mostly unnecessary appointments\u2014he opened the fridge. And found it empty. Or almost empty. There was their usual bottled water, a few brown bag lunches, and Drake's pudding stash, but not a casserole in sight. He still wondered why the single women of Redwood Ridge found it necessary to supply him with a year's worth of home cooking.\n\nFlynn lifted his brows. \" _Avery is telling the patients we're no longer allowed to accept food because it's against health regulations.\"_\n\nCade opened and closed his mouth. \"Why would she do that?\"\n\nNot that he was complaining. Half the time, Cade drove the stuff to the homeless shelter in the next town, since he couldn't eat it all. But it wasn't against health regulations as long as the food remained in the break room.\n\n_\"You're an idiot_.\" Flynn poked his chest. Hard. \" _She's doing it for you. She knows it bothers you to get all this unwanted attention_.\"\n\nThat gave him pause. It was true. He wasn't fond of all the flirting or subtle lean-ins or any other form of vying for his heart, much preferring to let things progress normally without a shove. But he'd never said so. Not once. In fact, to spare hurt feelings, he went out of his way to be gracious.\n\n_\"What did you have for dinner at her place on Friday_?\"\n\nCade blinked, sensing a trap. \"Pizza.\" Hailey didn't react violently to white cheeses, so that was one of the few dairy items she could eat, in moderation. He narrowed his eyes. \"Why?\"\n\nFlynn nodded knowingly. \" _The way I see it, if she's funny, kind, eats pizza, likes your sorry ass, and is good in bed, you should marry her. Yesterday.\"_\n\nChrist. \"We've known each other a month, man. I haven't slept with her.\" The rest of his brother's statement he wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.\n\nThat only made Flynn's grin widen, the asshole. \" _Thanks for proving my point. When's the last time you took a month to sleep with a woman?\"_\n\nCade scrubbed his hands over his face and headed up front to see if it was safe to take lunch. Alone.\n\nAvery was finishing up with Martha and the hamster as he approached. \"Thanks so much for coming in today. Please take a goodie on your way out.\" She pointed to several plates of cookies on the counter, which usually wound up in Cade's office, since they were brought for him. \"It's so nice of our patients to bring these for us, isn't it?\"\n\nMartha, a short brunette dental assistant from the office down the street, shoved a cookie into her mouth with a frown and left.\n\nCade would bet his right nut Martha had contributed to the sugar donation Avery was pawning off. Something pinched in his gut, which he attributed to hunger.\n\n_Squawk_. \"Sugar, sugar.\"\n\nAvery laughed, having not seen Cade yet, and was typing something into the computer schedule. \"Got that right, Gossip. She-rah, you leave that dog alone.\"\n\nCade glanced over, and sure enough, the cat had stretched from atop the printer and was eying a sleeping Thor by Avery's feet.\n\nThe cat paused, narrowed her evil eyes, and made to jump down.\n\n\"Ah-ah.\" Avery waggled her finger, never turning from the PC. \"You go near that dog and you'll get it.\"\n\nShe-rah sniffed.\n\nAvery reached over, snatched a spray bottle he hadn't noticed, and...squirted the cat in the face with a short stream of water. \"I said leave Thor alone.\"\n\nShe-rah hissed, but remained on the printer, stopping her planned assault on the dog. She swiped her face with a paw, sent Avery a warning glare, and laid back down.\n\nCade stood there for several moments as the pinch in his stomach moved into his chest, and he had to remind himself he was at work. They were taking things slow. But the pounding of his heart against his ribs wouldn't cease. She was... She was so damn hot in her bossy mode. And very different from the vulnerable woman on Friday night.\n\n\"Do you need something, Dr. Cade?\"\n\nHell. He wondered if he could get her to call him that when he kissed her again. Outside of the office.\n\nGiving his head a violent shake to clear it, he tossed a chart down next to Avery and eyed the empty waiting room. \"I'm taking twenty minutes for lunch.\"\n\nShe closed out her program and rose, preparing for her own break. \"That doesn't go there.\"\n\nHe glanced at the chart she referred to and then her, the urge to kiss her so damn jolting he almost flinched. Grabbing the chart, he set it in Avery's file basket, never taking his gaze from hers. The electricity between them could supply the town for a week.\n\nShe smiled, turned on her heel, and headed down the hall.\n\nHe caught up to her and pinned her to the wall, earning a surprised squeak from her. After a quick glance to make sure no one saw, he stepped closer, shoving his thigh between her legs and crushing her breasts to his chest.\n\nHer wide brown eyes didn't blink, and in this light, he could make out the honey flecks. \"What are you doing?\"\n\n\"This.\"\n\nWith his hands on her hips to hold her in place, he leaned in and kissed her. Not the careful enticement from her kitchen, but a full-on exploration to let her know how much she turned him on and just how much he appreciated what she'd done for him by micromanaging the plethora of female clients. And the cat. And damn it, the chickenshit dog.\n\nShe arched into him, fisting his scrubs, and moaned into his mouth like he made her forget their location, the day, and time space continuum, too. Her tongue stroked his, once, twice, rioting his thoughts right out of his head. Well, to the wrong head.\n\nShe smelled sweet, tasted sweeter, and if she kept grinding his thigh like that...\n\nHe tore away and rested his cheek to hers, breaths soughing. Holy hell, what she could do to him with a kiss. Her breathing wasn't stable either as she panted against his neck. His erection pressed into her hip, so he backed away, taking in her flushed cheeks and pert nipples.\n\nBiting back a groan, he said, \"Just wanted to tell you that. We can discuss it in great detail later, yeah?\"\n\nHer palms pressed to the wall behind her, those gorgeous eyes unfocused and her lips parted. \"Yeah.\"\n\nNodding, he headed out the back door instead of into the break room because suddenly he needed to cool off. However, several gulps of crisp, damp air did nothing to steady his heart rate.\n\n* * * *\n\nAvery snuck out of the clinic at five on the dot. If she did so because Cade was occupied in his office and wouldn't see her leave, well that was a coincidence.\n\nThis non-dating dance they were doing was heating up, and she didn't know how to feel about that, so she shoved it from her mind. Almost. Her lips were still swollen from his kiss, and every time she thought about how he pinned her to the wall and devoured her mouth like he had no choice, a blush flamed her cheeks.\n\nRichard had never pressed her up against the wall.\n\nStraightening her shoulders, she got in her car and drove the mile to get Hailey. Maybe they'd go to the diner tonight for dinner. Get out of the cabin. After she parked in the rec center lot, she pulled out her cell to text her mom to see if she could meet them.\n\nAnya manned the front desk and smiled as Avery opened the door. \"Hello. How's dating the sexy vet going? You're breaking hearts all over the Ridge.\"\n\nShe sighed. \"Cade and I aren't a thing.\" Despite what Twitter and the town's blog claimed. Despite the kissing. The really excellent kissing.\n\nA lot of women in town were under the impression Cade was theirs. Every minute a new picture of him popped up on Pinterest with a willing female. It made it hard to figure out how seriously to take him.\n\n\"Oh, I don't know. People are talking. Cade doesn't date, as in at all, so this is pretty big news around here.\"\n\nSo was watching paint dry on the new park bench, but she kept her mouth shut until Miles brought Hailey up front.\n\n\"I missed you.\" Avery bent to zip her daughter's coat and squeezed her shoulder when she really wanted to kiss her. \"How's she doing? Any problems?\"\n\n\"Nope.\" Anya tucked a piece of strawberry blond hair behind her ear. \"She's really great. The only thing that seems to upset her is the basketball games, so we keep her out of the gym.\"\n\nAvery nodded. \"Must be all the squeaky shoes.\"\n\nShe thanked them and led Hailey to the car. Once she had her belted in her booster, Avery checked her phone and noted her mom texted back with a confirmation of dinner.\n\nThey drove to the diner, which was surprisingly slow, but it was Monday. She noted a few men from the senior center were playing checkers at a table, but otherwise the place was empty. The fifties d\u00e9cor was retro-neat, she thought so when she first stopped in two weeks ago, but the neon signs and counter were under a layer of grease from years of fried food. The scent of French fries and hamburgers clung to the air, and Avery's stomach rumbled.\n\nShe spotted her mom in a booth and walked over, getting Hailey situated. \"Glad you could come, Mom.\"\n\n\"Well, I don't want to take up your time with Cade, so I just wait for you to call. A woman needs private time with her guy.\"\n\nAvery barely resisted an eye roll. \"He's not my guy. He's my boss.\"\n\nWho kisses her a lot. Up against the wall.\n\nBefore her mother could respond, a waitress made her way over, a woman Avery recognized from around town, but had never spoken to. Avery quickly scanned the menu for something Hailey could eat while her mom and the waitress made small talk. In her late sixties, the woman had wrinkles around her mouth and a craggy voice that bespoke years of smoking.\n\nHailey shrugged her shoulders as if bothered by her voice.\n\n\"And what can I get the cutie pie?\" The waitress, Mave, bent down at eye level with Hailey and ruffled her hair before Avery could stop her.\n\nHailey instantly stiffened and screeched, flailing her arms. Silverware and ice water went sailing. She slid to the floor under the table, earning gazes from the other customers, and continued the screeching at an insane decibel.\n\nMom laughed nervously and ducked her head.\n\nCrap on a cracker.\n\nHailey didn't act out very often, and when she did, it could be quite embarrassing, but her mother's reaction had fury building in Avery's chest. People would see her response and take their cues from her, thinking it was okay to stare at Hailey like a freak.\n\nMave's eyes popped. \"Oh dear. What's wrong with her?\"\n\nAvery tensed to the point of pain, her molars grinding. It always came down to that\u2014what was wrong with Hailey. She was different, so that made it okay to act like ignorant imbeciles, right?\n\nInstead of getting into it, Avery asked her for a few minutes and then slid out of the booth to squat by Hailey, who had stopped screeching. \"Hey, sweetie. She's gone. All better. Can you come out?\"\n\nA few moments passed and Hailey crawled back into the booth to stare out the window, all signs of distress vanishing except her all too common rocking.\n\nAvery reclaimed her seat, closed her eyes, and rubbed her forehead. \"If you're embarrassed by us, we can leave.\" She drilled her mom with an unforgiving glare.\n\nMom's eyes widened from where they were watching Hailey and shifted to Avery. \"I've never seen her do that. She's always so quiet.\"\n\nOf course she hadn't seen an outburst. For years, it had just been Avery and Hailey against the world. Mom had moved to Redwood Ridge before Hailey was born, and had only come to San Francisco a handful of times. Regret filled her because Avery hadn't made any attempt to visit her mom, either. Between Richard's schedule and Hailey's therapy, years snuck out from under them.\n\n\"I'm not embarrassed.\" Mom took her hand and squeezed. \"I'm sorry. I froze.\"\n\nThe tension drained from her shoulders. \"It's fine.\" Mom didn't know any better. Most people didn't, so Avery would educate where she could and shrug off when she couldn't.\n\nMave tentatively returned, a wary smile twisting her already wrinkled face. \"Everything okay?\"\n\nAvery forced a smile. \"This is my daughter, Hailey. She has autism and doesn't care to be touched, especially on her head. It's an over-stimulant for her, which is why she responded that way.\"\n\n\"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll make sure not to do it again.\"\n\nSmiling, she tilted her head toward her daughter. \"Hailey, this is Mave. Can you say hello?\"\n\nA few moments passed as Hailey seemed to process the command, and then she signed, \" _Hello_.\"\n\nOnce they finished eating and waited for the check, Zoe strode in looking harried with her blue hair at haphazard angles and her button-down shirt half tucked into her jeans. No coat. She moved to the register and dropped some bills, tapping her foot while waiting. Since she seemed to be in a hurry, Avery didn't stop to talk as the groomer from the clinic grabbed two to-go boxes and darted outside.\n\n\"She's had a rough go of things lately.\"\n\nAvery glanced from Zoe's form disappearing in the fog back to her mom. \"How so?\"\n\nAside from her odd, unnatural choice in hair color, Zoe seemed okay. She'd gone out with them that one night at Shooters and she always came to work on time. Though not as chatty as Brent or Gabby, she was nice.\n\n\"Her mom was diagnosed with early onset dementia four years ago. Catherine's only fifty-one. There's no other family, so Zoe's taken it all on herself.\" Mom cleared her throat. \"We try to get over there and help out when we can. Cat used to be in our book club, but now she barely recognizes Zoe.\"\n\nGod. How awful. She rubbed at the sudden ache in her chest, unable to imagine it. \"That's rough.\"\n\nAfter parting ways with her mom, dark had descended, bringing a salt-scented brine to the humid, cold air. The fog had let up, but was still hovering in the distance near the banks. Avery and Hailey walked across the street to the ice cream shop to get Avery a fix for later before heading home.\n\nHank, the owner who'd greeted them the last time, grinned broadly. \"You've returned. Check it out.\" He pointed to the menu behind him. His round belly strained against a stained apron with the movement.\n\nAvery scanned the board, her gaze stopping at the new addition. She stilled, torn between a sudden bout of useless tears and gratitude. Surely he hadn't...\n\nHe had. He'd given Hailey her own special on the menu. Orange sherbet topped with marshmallows, kindly named \"The Hailey.\" He'd remembered she couldn't eat dairy. That was...dang. That was so nice.\n\nHank held up a Polaroid camera. She didn't even know those were still in existence.\n\n\"May I take a picture? For the board?\"\n\nAvery opened and closed her mouth. Swallowed hard. Her chest swelled, constricting her air. Dang it, she still couldn't talk, so she nodded.\n\nAs Hank took a shot of Hailey, her cheese face in place whenever someone said \"smile,\" a man's voice resounded behind them. Deep and low, it skimmed across her skin like a caress and set her nerves on fire.\n\n\"The Hailey. Sounds good.\"\n\nShe didn't have to turn to know who belonged to the voice. It had been the focal point of many of her recent fantasies as of late. She couldn't escape him, even when she should.\n\n\"This calls for a fist bump.\" Cade crouched down by Hailey, his grin huge. \"Remember what I said, you can't leave a guy hanging. Make a fist.\"\n\nHailey closed her fingers and awkwardly smacked Cade's fist, then squealed.\n\nAvery's chest tightened more. Even her daughter was enamored.\n\nHank stuck the picture of Hailey on the menu board right next to her option and turned. \"What'll it be, folks?\"\n\nCade stepped up next to her, pointing to the picture. \"We'll take three of those, Hank.\"\n\n# Chapter 11\n\nZoe leaned against the front desk near the end of the workday on Thursday where Brent and Gabby had congregated. \"Everyone's all aflutter with this Valentine's dance.\"\n\nBrent sighed dreamily. \"You, doll, are a genius.\"\n\nAvery's cheeks heated. \"I'm just glad people are interested. Job done.\"\n\nGabby shook her head. \"It's more than that. Seriously, you have no idea how boring the past years have been.\"\n\nAvery closed out her program and shut down the system, since Cade was on his last patient of the day and Drake had finished with surgery. \"You guys have a hot date picked out?\"\n\nThey all shook their heads.\n\n\"I say we go as a group, like in high school.\" Brent waved his hand at his brilliance. \"Power in numbers.\"\n\n_Squawk_. \"Rollin' with my homies.\"\n\nDrake strode in and handed Avery his billing form. \"We only did the front declaw, so don't charge for the back.\"\n\n\"You got it.\"\n\nHe went to leave, but Brent called his name. \"You're going to the Valentine's dance, right? Our Avery did a bang-up job planning.\"\n\nDrake paused and slowly turned, assessing Brent like he'd been dropped on his head one too many times as a child. \"No.\"\n\nZoe tucked a piece of blue hair behind her ear and sat on the desk. \"We're thinking of doing the group thing. No dates.\"\n\nDrake shifted his gaze to her and slowly shook his head.\n\nAvery recalled what Cade had told her awhile back about how hard it had been to get Drake out of the house and socializing since his wife had died. A dance was a huge social event. One nearly the whole town was planning to attend. She couldn't blame him for saying no.\n\nSince he looked uncomfortable, she tried to come up with something to lighten the mood. \"I could be your date, Drake. Platonic, of course. I'll beat the conversationalists off with a stick.\"\n\nHe tilted his head, studying her. And then it happened. He smiled. Not a full-on grin, but the corners of his lips quirked.\n\nZoe gasped. \"Did you... Did you just smile?\"\n\nIt fell, morphing into a scowl. \"No.\"\n\n\"I saw it.\" Gabby nodded. \"You did smile.\"\n\nThe frown deepened as he looked at Avery. \"Thought you said you'd beat them off.\"\n\nZoe grabbed her chest, faking heart failure. \"And he joked, too.\"\n\nPoor Drake. This was what he got for his trouble.\n\nAvery sighed. \"You've got more than a week to think about it. Open invitation to join us. We'll try to make it painless.\"\n\nSomething in his gaze softened, almost like a thank-you, before he nodded and strode away.\n\nA collective silence fell until Brent slapped her arm. \"Look at you, playing up the brothers. I'm telling Cade you did that.\" A sly grin split his face.\n\nAvery narrowed her eyes but, before she could retort, Cade and his last appointment came out of an exam room.\n\n\"Tell me what?\" He handed Avery the chart and looked at Mr. Townsend. \"Couple drops in each eye should clear it up. Give us a call if it doesn't.\" After the client left, he handed her the billing statement and glanced at the others. \"Tell me what?\" he repeated.\n\nBrent cocked a hip. \"Your girl just asked your brother to the Valentine's dance.\"\n\n\"I'm not his girl, and it was an invitation to join all of us.\" She stood. \"Stop instigating.\"\n\nCade's gaze landed on her. \"Which brother? I'll kill him.\" He grinned as if in afterthought.\n\n\"Yeah,\" Brent drolled. \"Not his girl.\"\n\nAvery shook her head and put the cockatoo back in his cage to cover him for the night. \"Good night, Gossip.\"\n\n_Squawk_. \"Enter sandman.\"\n\nZoe hopped down from the desk. \"Let's go dress shopping on Saturday. I can get someone to watch Mom.\" She looked at Gabby and then Avery.\n\n\"I'm in,\" Gabby said.\n\nCade deadpanned. \"I wouldn't look good in a dress.\"\n\nGabby laughed. \"Remember that Halloween in high school when you dressed as a cheerleader\u2014\"\n\n\"No. I don't remember, thus it never happened.\"\n\nAvery rolled her eyes and nodded at Zoe. \"I'll get my mom to watch Hailey. Barring a problem with that, I'm in, too.\" She didn't have a red or pink dress, so this solved her problem. She hadn't gone shopping with girlfriends since... Well, she couldn't remember when.\n\nThey made arrangements and the crew left for the day. All but Cade, who stood off to the side watching her. Since she couldn't read his expression, she called for Thor to put him away for the night.\n\nCade grabbed She-rah, much to the cat's dismay, and followed. \"It was a joke, the cheerleader thing.\"\n\nShe grinned. \"Okay.\"\n\n\"It was.\" He set the cat down and called Thor to follow. Once the animals were in the back room, he shut the door and eyed her.\n\nThe hallway suddenly seemed too small with her back pressed to the wall and him closing in like a predator, all fluid grace and delicious muscle.\n\nHe set his palms on either side of her head and leaned into them, his forearms flexing. \"I suddenly find myself thinking of little else than you in a dress, wondering if you'll go with red or pink, if you'll choose something that shows a lot of skin\u2014\" He frowned as he cut himself off and jerked his gaze from her breasts to her face. \"You asked my brother to the dance?\"\n\nA bubble of laughter rose in her throat, but she held it down. He made her feel young again. Between the kissing and his jokes and the giddy flutter in her belly. Whenever he was near, she wasn't a stressed out single mom with a disabled daughter and a useless ex-husband. Not with Cade. She was just...a woman again.\n\nAll of her reservations about them flittered away. She'd regret it later, but for now, this felt too good.\n\nHis blue-eyed gaze slid to her mouth and back up as if expecting an answer. The heat was unmistakable, but a flash of hurt twisted his mouth.\n\n\"Drake. I asked Drake to join us as a group, hoping he might say yes. You said it was hard to get him out since\u2014\"\n\nHe pressed a finger to her mouth and sucked in a harsh breath at the contact. \"What did he say?\"\n\n\"That he'd think about it.\" Or close enough, in Drake speak.\n\nSomething shifted in his expression as his eyebrows drew together, like he wasn't looking at her anymore. Grief warred with guilt. \"He hasn't attended many community functions since Heather died. Just the ones Mom makes him go to, like the Christmas parties.\" His gaze met hers again, tender and hollow all at once. \"He'll go. For you, he'll go.\"\n\nShe shook her head. It wasn't like that. Not how he was thinking.\n\nPart of her understood his brother, what Drake was going through. Her husband hadn't died, but the loss of comfort, of having someone there and then suddenly not, could gut a person. It made it hard to trust, to hold on to anything, and being around others only amplified the feeling that everything was slipping through her fingers. For Drake, it had to be especially difficult. Not only had someone he loved died, but everything around him had a memory tied to that loss.\n\n\"He's got a lot of respect for you.\" Cade cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing her lower lip, his steady gaze watching the movement. \"You're new. You don't remind him of her.\" He looked in her eyes, grateful and with relief, making her realize just how worried Cade had been for his brother. \"Thank you for that. For trying.\"\n\nHis hand slid from her jaw to her throat, his fingers brushing her collarbone under her blouse. \"The way he loved Heather, it was out of the storybooks. I used to watch them, wondering if anyone could live up to that. Then she got sick and...\" He shook his head. \"And I stopped dating altogether to avoid that kind of hurt. I did the random hook-ups and fun because there's no pain in not engaging.\"\n\nThey'd had quiet talks and they'd shared some heated kisses, but this was personal, on a different plane than where they'd ventured before. For the first time, it seemed like he was letting her see a piece of him no one else had, and it was costing him. Pleasure and pain lit his eyes, thinned his mouth. Whatever he was battling, he wasn't altogether happy about it.\n\nBecause her own heart was pounding, she cleared her throat and forced her lungs to take in air. \"Red.\" At his questioning glance, she elaborated. \"I'll probably pick a red dress for the dance. Pink's not a good shade on me.\" And since that admission wiped the regretful haze from his eyes, replacing it with something carnal, she kept flapping her mouth without the filter. \"I'll see what I can do about finding something that shows...skin.\"\n\nHe closed his eyes, his jaw clenched tight. Resting his forehead to hers, he let out a ragged breath. \"I can't wait to see you in it.\" He opened and closed his mouth several times before finally making up his mind. \"Go with me. Be _my_ date, Avery. No one has to know but us, as long as you...\"\n\nHer heart stuttered. \"As long as I what?\"\n\nHis breath skated across her cheek. He nuzzled her neck, behind her ear, sending shivers through her. The rasp of his growth echoed as it scraped her skin. \"As long as you come home with me afterward.\"\n\nHe tensed, waiting for her answer, motionless against her as if her response would make or break him.\n\nTheir breathing was the only noise, so loud it ricocheted off the walls. The heat from his body wrapped around her. The expectation of what she'd say kept them both taut, ready to snap. His heart pounded, the thump hitting her chest. And then he stopped breathing altogether, and there was no doubt in her mind that he was, somehow, against all reason, as nervous as she was to be here.\n\nThere were other doubts, reservations that pushed against her skull from the inside. Like would she measure up to his other conquests? Richard had cheated on her, and that had killed her confidence. She'd lost so much of herself in their marriage and she swore she'd never do it again. And there was the fact that Cade was her boss. She had Hailey to think about...\n\nHe cupped her cheek unexpectedly, the only movement he offered as if silently begging her to give him a chance.\n\nSome of the doubts were pushed aside. She wanted him. Wanted something just for herself that wasn't tainted or had ties to what she'd left behind. What would it hurt letting go for once? It didn't have to mean anything. Cade would make her feel good, could help her move past the stagnant halt her life had become.\n\nShe opened her mouth to agree to his request, but he kissed her forehead and stepped away. \"Think about it. There's no rush.\"\n\nShe had a sickening sensation in her gut that she'd just hurt him, rejected him when he'd laid himself out there for her. But he was out the door without a backward glance before her mouth caught up to her brain.\n\nAll through the next day her suspicions were confirmed. Cade barely spoke to her, and he didn't find a quiet moment to back her against a wall to kiss her stupid like he'd done several times throughout the week.\n\nThe strangest part was, the town\u2014aside from Cade's admirers\u2014all seemed to be gunning for her and Cade as a couple. And she had made sure they had no public displays or anything to egg it on. She just didn't get it.\n\nBy the time she got to her meeting, her brain was fried and her chest hurt.\n\nHailey also had her sleepover at her friend Jessica's tonight, so Avery's nerves were raw, her stomach twisted in knots. She'd texted April several times with instructions for Hailey. April responded to every instance, not making fun of her or telling her to calm down. Which was nice, having someone understand.\n\nThe event committee met at the Botanical Gardens in the hall to go over placement of tables and decorations instead of convening at the rec center. All she could think about, besides whether Hailey was doing okay or not, was how she wouldn't get to see Cade when she got home.\n\nShe'd begun to look forward to that, to having his presence in her house. Having his scent lingering in the rooms or to discover what activity he'd done with Hailey. Their quiet talks around her kitchen table, and the bone-melting kisses weren't a hardship, either.\n\nGod, he was so good with Hailey, too. Patient, never dominant, never pressuring her to be normal like other kids. If Richard had shown a smidgen of that understanding, Avery might not have left him.\n\n\"What do you think, Avery?\"\n\nShe shook her head and faced Marie. \"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.\"\n\nThe other members looked at her with varying degrees of knowing smirks, and she wasn't in on the joke.\n\n\"About the tables?\" Marie pointed to the back wall, holding herself in complete professionalism. Being the mayor, Avery supposed she had to be, even though she was one of the Battleaxes and super sneaky. \"Line both sides of the room with tables? Bar at the back. DJ up front. You haven't listened to a thing, have you?\"\n\nHeat flared in her cheeks. \"I'm sorry. Hailey is having her first sleepover ever and my mind is elsewhere.\"\n\nThe women cooed, very sympathetic, which made Avery's face flame to scalding because Hailey had only been half of her distraction.\n\n\"I think that setup would be lovely.\" Avery glanced around, forcing herself to focus.\n\nThe room was long and open, with a rear wall of floor to ceiling glass that looked into the attached garden dome. Open wood beams slanted the rafters, giving a log cabin feel to the atmosphere. Two large chandeliers could be dimmed for mood lighting, and the floor was hardwood throughout.\n\n\"The streamers are going to be a pain to hang.\" Rosa directed her gaze up with a frown.\n\nAvery dialed back her wince. \"I think we should veto the streamers. The evening is for the adults, a romantic date night.\"\n\nShe eyed the tables along the wall, remembering Gayle had said they used this hall for a lot of weddings. \"White tablecloths with flower petals. White lights strung from the beams to look like starlight. We'll turn off all the overheads, all but the chandelier up front for the dance floor, and let the soft glow illuminate the rest.\"\n\nReally into the mood now, she glanced at Marie and did a double take. The other women were staring, slack-jawed.\n\nAvery rubbed her forehead. \"Or not. Whatever you think.\"\n\nMarie nodded. \"I think we were right to hire you.\"\n\nRosa slapped Avery's arm, nearly toppling her. \"I love it. Let's do it.\"\n\nBy the time Avery drove home, she was swamped with fatigue and wondered if she'd manage to get any sleep with Hailey gone. Oh, look at that, she'd checked her phone. Again. She was pathetic. When was the last time she'd had a night to herself? Never. And she couldn't stop looking at her cell.\n\nAs she made the turnoff for the cabin, she started to fantasize about a hot bath, a hotter book, and a glass of wine. But as she pulled up to the cabin and parked, an entirely different fantasy came to mind.\n\nOne that involved a sexy animal doctor who slowly stood to full height and grinned from where he'd been waiting on her front steps, his trusty, good-natured dog by his side.\n\nThe pull of desire in her belly was fierce and, unaccustomed to it, she stared for a few beats, giving herself an internal pep talk on what it meant that she felt anything at all. Years, _for years_ , she'd shut her needs down, and now it seemed they were making up for lost time.\n\nWith the worst possible candidate to snap the spell.\n\nThen again, Cade couldn't break her heart. Not only had it been broken before, but he wasn't the type to reach deep enough to attach. A steady calm washed over her, settling her tension.\n\nNodding, she grabbed the door handle.\n\n# Chapter 12\n\nCade watched Avery emerge from her car with a questioning glance. Hell, he didn't know why he was here either, other than it felt like he had something to prove. To her, that he wasn't just some playboy who sought fun. To himself, that this thing between them was different and he was capable of trying.\n\nBy showing up tonight, he wanted her aware that this wasn't about Hailey, nor work. And that he wanted to be here. Truth was, he thought of little else but Avery when she wasn't around.\n\n\"Hi,\" she said, coming closer. \"You get a Friday night free from babysitting and you come, anyway. Don't tell me we accidently domesticated you.\"\n\nHer grin was teasing, a little nervous, but his gut twisted. She was one of the few people to treat him like he wasn't a joke, like he had more inside him than he allowed to show. Yet her comment sliced, eradicating that.\n\nOr maybe she was just fishing.\n\nShe bent to pet Freeman, who ate up the attention.\n\nHe turned to retrieve the DVDs and microwave popcorn he'd brought, holding them up. \"To distract you from pacing the floors.\" After witnessing how she'd freaked out leaving Hailey with him for a couple hours, he figured she'd go catatonic with her daughter gone a whole night.\n\nShe froze, still bent to pet the dog, her gaze sliding to the movies and then locking on him. It seemed to take great effort, but she straightened and swallowed. Her breath fogged before her face, masking her eyes, but he caught the wide wonder in them first.\n\nThat was the thing about Avery. No one looked at him with a cross between hero worship and affection. And she did each time he offered to help, whenever he said something kind, like she'd yet to experience either. It made his chest expand with pride, made him want to do anything just to see it again.\n\nAnd made him want to kill her ex all the more.\n\nThe admiration was probably undeserving on his part. He had other, less honorable motives for being here. Like spending time alone with her. Because, yeah. The chemistry between them was a living thing. The heat in her eyes proved he wasn't alone.\n\nHe glanced at the movies in his hand just to break the intense moment. \"Horror or rom-com?\"\n\nHer brown eyes did this kind of shining in the moonlight thing that made him step closer just to see if the honey flecks would be there. Her eyes said so much about her, radiating the emotions she tried to quash.\n\n\"You picked out a romance?\"\n\nThe disbelieving tone had him shrugging. \"Chicks like them. And it's a comedy, too, lest you forget that.\" Why did he have the urge to shuffle his feet under her gaze?\n\n\"I like scary movies,\" she said at last, walking up the porch steps. She held the door open for him. \"Popcorn is my favorite food group.\"\n\nHe laughed and walked inside, calling Freeman. The dogs took turns sniffing each other's asses.\n\n\"I'm serious. Popcorn, chocolate, coffee, ice cream, and pizza. The five food groups. Health nuts are going to feel stupid one day, dying of nothing.\"\n\nOkay, that was it. She might possibly be the perfect woman.\n\nHe reached out and snagged her around the waist, hauling her to his chest. \"I have something I need to say.\" Leaning in, he kissed her soundly on the mouth and pulled away before things got too convoluted right off the bat.\n\nEyes wide, she reeled and pressed a hand to her forehead. \"I'm not sure I heard you. Could you repeat that?\"\n\nYep. The perfect woman.\n\n\"Maybe I should talk slower.\" Setting the movies aside, he wrapped both arms around her back, sliding his hands up the curve of her spine to tangle in her hair. \"Communication is very important.\"\n\nShe gasped as he took her mouth, at leisure this time, exploring her taste and breathing in her sweet scent. She was everywhere, all the time. Invading his Friday nights, working at the clinic. In his head. Somehow, he didn't mind.\n\nDespite their height difference, she fit against him, all soft and giving to his hard and unrelenting. And regardless of their other differences, they seemed to fit well in other areas, too. She was serious. He never tried to be. She was kind and generous. He typically gave what he got. She thought too much. He preferred action. But the oddity worked for them.\n\nWrapping her arms around his neck, she arched into him and raked her nails lightly against his scalp. Now he was hard. Painfully so. Hugest turn on? A woman who ran her fingers through his hair. Every time. He tore his mouth away before things went too far too fast and before she was ready. Not that she'd tried to tap the brakes.\n\n\"Grab the popcorn,\" he said against her lips, still holding her to him.\n\nShe reached behind him to the table. \"What are you carrying?\"\n\n\"You.\" Palming her ass, he lifted her and headed toward the kitchen, her toes dragging along the way. He set her on the counter and tossed the popcorn into the microwave. \"Stop trying to hit on me, by the way. A guy likes to play hard to get.\"\n\nShe threw her head back and laughed. For once, carefree, she covered her face and let go. It was the single most sexiest and sweetest sound he'd heard. Just like that, the air evaporated from the room.\n\nPushing her hair back, she sobered. \"I'll try to contain myself.\"\n\n\"Do that. Or don't.\" He stepped in front of her and set his hands on her hips. \"You don't laugh often enough. It's very hot.\"\n\nHer smile fell, but it stayed in her eyes. \"I'm trying.\"\n\n\"Fresh start and all that?\" She nodded, and he noticed her lack of tension. \"You don't stiffen when I touch you anymore.\"\n\nSetting her hands on his forearms, she stroked. \"I'm working on that, too. Haven't done this in awhile. In fact, I swore I wouldn't ever again.\" She looked away and shrugged.\n\n\"Wouldn't ever date again?\" She didn't respond, instead choosing to stare at his shirt, so he tilted her chin up until she met his gaze. \"How long's it been?\"\n\n\"Since I went out with someone? In secret or otherwise?\"\n\nHe didn't have the heart to tell her they weren't a secret and never would be in a town like Redwood Ridge. It was obvious to anyone they came in contact with that they were into each other, even if their every move wasn't tweeted and hashtagged. Yeah, they had their own hashtag. Damn Aunt Rosa.\n\nAnd Avery was deflecting. He couldn't have that. \"Either.\"\n\nShe let out a sigh infused with a groan. \"Richard is the only man I've been with. We met in college. He was two years ahead of me. We married right away. I think because he saw in me what he wanted from a wife, and he was laying the groundwork. He was on the fast track to partner in his dad's firm once he passed the bar.\"\n\nHe didn't care about what her ex did or didn't want, other than it directly resulted in how she saw herself. And she wasn't a house, damn it. \"What did he want in a wife?\"\n\n\"Arm candy. Quiet, not too pretty. Someone who was socially adept enough to carry conversation, but not challenge him.\" She set her hands on the counter behind her and leaned into them.\n\nAside from quiet, she was none of those things.\n\nHer shoulder lifted in a shrug. She did that a lot, shrugged things off. \"I lost too much of myself in him, until I didn't have a wish of my own or even trust my own tastes. He did it slowly. I didn't recognize what had happened and by then it was too late. Ten years too late. I won't ever get married again. Won't ever let someone break me down, mold me to their purpose.\"\n\nNot that he was an expert in relationships, but he always figured there should be give and take. No breaking or bending, just respect for the other person. Like his parents' marriage, like Drake and Heather's. No one should ever have to be someone they're not, and by the sound of it, that's what had happened to her. No wonder she was wary.\n\n\"I think that's why I'm getting to be okay with what's happening between us.\" She straightened, looking over his shoulder to avoid his gaze. \"There's no potential for more.\"\n\nTemples throbbing, he narrowed his eyes. He didn't know why that pissed him off, but it did. They were already \"more\" or he wouldn't be thinking about her day and night and in between. Yet he understood what she meant. His reputation wasn't to stick, and she had no desire to do so again. Why did his chest ache then?\n\n\"I'll be your date for the dance.\"\n\nHis gaze whipped to hers. Held.\n\n\"And...the afterward part.\" She bit her lip, her expression more open than he'd seen yet, her eyes unguarded.\n\nShe was trusting him with something she hadn't with anyone else. Not for a long time, anyway. The courage it must've taken just to say that wasn't lost on him. He'd do everything he could not to make her regret it.\n\n\"I didn't offer to pressure you. When I said come home with me, I didn't necessarily mean it literally.\" His gaze swept over her face. \"Not that I wouldn't love that, but I was serious when I said we don't need to rush.\"\n\nA small smile ghosted her lips. \"I wanted to tell you yes when you asked at the clinic, but...\" She tucked her hair behind her ear. \"You make me nervous.\"\n\n\"I make you nervous?\" She had his heart pounding so hard it was cracking ribs and he made her nervous? \"Likewise.\"\n\nOne of her perfectly arched brows rose, indicating she thought he was lying. \"You're too experienced and charming to be nervous.\"\n\nThat was where she was wrong. Oh, so wrong. He had no clue what the fuck he was doing with her. He had no game, nothing to fall back on. The women and his previous encounters weren't even in the same realm as this, as her.\n\nAnd this was...Not. Helping.\n\nHe pushed the button on the microwave, since he'd failed to do that before, and looked at her once more. She was grinning again, stopping his heart in the process as all his blood migrated south. \"What?\"\n\n\"You're cooking for me. It's sweet.\"\n\nKernels popped as the scent of butter wafted around the kitchen. She smelled better.\n\n\"I make a mean bag of popcorn. Nothing but the best for you. I make the finest mac and cheese this side of the fault line, too. Blue box, of course.\"\n\nShe patted her chest, her grin impish and adorable as hell. \"Be still my heart.\"\n\nNo kidding. His, too. Except she _was_ kidding.\n\nHe sighed. \"Let's start the movie. And if you find yourself scared, feel free to climb on my lap. I can take it.\"\n\nThis earned another laugh. She moved off the counter and, since he was still in front of her, every inch of that soft, lithe body slid against his in her descent.\n\nShe tilted her head to look up at him. \"What happens if you get scared?\"\n\nAlready there. \"You can hold me. With or without clothes.\"\n\n* * * *\n\nAvery put the movie into the disc player and checked her phone. Again. Cade served as a good distraction, but Hailey's bedtime had passed over an hour ago and April hadn't called. She hoped that meant Hailey was doing okay.\n\nShe sat next to Cade on the deep couch as the title screen popped up. \"I haven't seen _The Exorcist_ in years. Love this movie.\"\n\n\"Haven't seen it.\"\n\n\"What? Really? It's like a rite of passage.\"\n\n\"Will it frighten me?\" He grinned and waggled his brows.\n\n\"It scared me to death when I was younger.\" She checked her phone again.\n\nCade took it from her and held it out of reach. \"I will be the keeper of this until the movie's done.\"\n\n\"But\u2014\"\n\nHe shoved popcorn into her mouth and hit play. After setting the phone down on the table beside him, he threw his arm out, wrapped it around her waist, and pulled her closer until they were...snuggling.\n\nFor the first five minutes, she didn't move. Richard, even in their early years, didn't cuddle. She wasn't sure what to do. But eventually Cade turned off the lamp and she rested her head in the crook of his arm to tune into the film.\n\nSeraph paced the floor between Hailey's bedroom and the couch, obviously missing his friend. She called him over and set him in her lap, absently petting his back. Freeman eyed them and laid down by Cade's feet.\n\nIt was all so cozy.\n\nCade smelled too good. Fabric softener and warm male. Resisting the urge to bury her face in his rock hard chest and sniff, she assessed every twitch he made, every breath he took. His solid thighs under his well-worn jeans kept snagging her attention, and she itched to drop her hands there to stroke. Every inhale had her shoulder brushing his pec.\n\nSeraph moved to the floor by Freeman. Cade stretched his legs out, and she adjusted so she was reclining against his chest. His bulging, muscled bicep was right by her cheek, his thumb unconsciously caressing her shoulder.\n\nThis was crazy. A fire raged inside her, spreading and consuming. Her breasts ached. The apex of her thighs throbbed. She wanted...no, she _needed_ him to kiss her, to press his weight down on her and run his large hands over her body. Something, _anything_ to quell this fury of sudden lust.\n\nShe must've let out a frustrated moan because he laughed, gaze still on the screen.\n\n\"Yeah, I'll never eat pea soup again, either. Not that I cared for it much...\" He trailed off when she looked up at him, finally sensing her mood.\n\nHe stilled as if trying to comprehend the shift. His eyes clouded, closing part way. His lips opened to draw in a shallow breath. Cupping her jaw, a question in his brow, his gaze raked over her face\u2014her hair, her eyes, her cheeks...her mouth.\n\n\"Avery,\" he said quietly, but it sounded more like a prayer.\n\nShe was suddenly crawling out of her skin. If he didn't touch her soon, she was going to do something terribly embarrassing, like climb him and ride his thigh. Rip the T-shirt from his body so she could lick her way down to his jeans.\n\nHe gently brushed his nose with hers, the hesitation clearly costing him because the hand holding her jaw shook. Closing his eyes, he kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger on her temple. When he said her name again, she snapped.\n\nFisting her fingers in his thick, soft hair, she dragged his mouth to hers. A stunned beat passed before he became a willing participant and tilted his head. Taking the kiss deeper, he crushed her against him, stroking her tongue with his.\n\nYes. She all but heard the boom.\n\nShe moaned, and his hand traveled to her throat as if desiring proof the noise came from her. His shadow of a beard rasped her skin with the wild force of his mouth on hers, deliciously abrading.\n\nHe wrapped his arm around her back and eased her to the cushion, never breaking away. Lowering himself over her, he settled between her thighs and shoved his hands in her hair, holding her to his glorious assault as if he thought she'd evaporate. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and the hard bulge behind his fly ground into her heat, barely making a dent in her need.\n\nTearing his mouth away, he gulped air and made his way to her neck, licking and panting. She shivered from the nerve sensation overload and arched into him, his hard chest blocking the way, but her nipples cried _thank you_. He grabbed her hip, fingers clenching, before sliding his hand to her thigh to hold her leg in place.\n\nHe muttered something unintelligible and rocked his hips, pulling a feral sound from deep in her chest. Her breaths soughed until her lungs finally emptied. Cinching her shirt in his hands, he shoved the material past her breasts and stilled. His heated gaze swept over her blue bra, thumbs grazing the erect nipples straining against the lace.\n\n\"So beautiful,\" he murmured.\n\nDoubt crept in, a sickening swirl to mix with the lust. She tensed, and he looked up, his gaze soft and understanding compared to the rest of him. His hair stood at odd angles from her fingers in the strands.\n\nTrying to regulate her breathing, she fought to get the mood back, but it was lost. She didn't even know how to explain, but he deserved an answer. She pressed her hand to her forehead and swallowed. \"He cheated on me.\"\n\nDang it. That...was not what she meant to say. She closed her eyes to block out whatever ounce of pity she'd find on his face.\n\nCarefully, as if she might break, he tugged her shirt down and rose over her, bearing his weight on his arms. \"Look at me.\"\n\nShe blew out a breath and opened her eyes, not finding pity, but patience. Somehow, that seemed worse. And if she wasn't mistaken, there was fury there, too.\n\n\"I'm doing this wrong if you keep thinking about him, yeah?\" Frustration wrinkled his forehead, set a grim line to his mouth.\n\n\"What? No.\" She tried to sit up, but he didn't budge.\n\n\"Give me a second. I don't think I can walk.\" Tension stretched over his face when he finally looked back at her. \"I don't know what else to say, except he was wrong. In case it escaped your attention, I'm harder than steel and that's all your doing. He has the defect, not you.\"\n\nA rush of air whooshed from her lungs and the humiliation, the regret, seeped out of her pores. What was wrong with her? Hot guy making out with her on the couch, childfree for the night, and she couldn't get past first base. Or was petting second base? Didn't matter, she'd never score at this rate.\n\n\"I doubt it.\" He shook his head as if reading her mind.\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"The movie. I doubt it.\"\n\nShe turned her head at the part where the characters were heavy into an exorcism. The priest kept chanting, \"The power of Christ compels you.\"\n\nA giddy bubble of laugher caught in her throat. Erupted. No, this lust-induced frenzy whenever they were around one another was not religion inspired. Though if they ever got to the actual sex, she suspected he could make it just as inspiring. In seconds, her body shook with hysterics, him joining her.\n\nThe tension drained away and she was so, so grateful he wasn't mad. Any other guy would be pissed or pressuring for more. Cade, completely attuned to her every mood and nuance, simply rolled with it.\n\nHe dropped his forehead to her chest and sighed. \"Such a shame. You really do have great breasts.\"\n\n# Chapter 13\n\nAfter Avery picked up Hailey from April's, she scrolled through the Internet on her laptop while Hailey played tug of war with Seraph. The puppy seemed to be winning because Hailey kept dropping the rope toy.\n\nMost of the articles she found on dog training were pretty straightforward. Now that Seraph was healed, she really should start training him better, but never having a pet before left her fumbling. He seemed to have potty training down. He'd only had one accident in the house, but she let him out routinely every hour and a half. Plus her mom came by on the days Avery was working to let him out.\n\nMaybe she should ask Cade, but she didn't want to bother him. Last night he'd gone home no doubt sore and seriously horny. She hadn't faired much better, spending half the night aching to finish what they started and too afraid to relax to get there. Eventually, his patience was going to wear thin.\n\nHailey whelped a laugh, which made Seraph yip in his puppy version of a bark.\n\nAvery smiled, setting the laptop aside. Two peas in a pod, just like Cade had said. The dog followed Hailey everywhere, and Avery latched on to the joy it brought seeing Hailey connect to something. Really connecting.\n\n\"You like your doggy a lot, sweetie?\"\n\nHailey squealed and flapped her hands. _Most entertaining, Mother!_\n\nShe laughed. \"And what about your new friend, Jenny? April said you had a great time at your sleepover. Would you like to do it again?\"\n\nOn repeat, she squealed and flapped her hands again.\n\nAvery's chest filled to capacity, causing her eyes to moisten. Aside from a slip-up or two, Hailey hadn't had any outbursts or shown any signs of distress since they'd landed in Redwood Ridge. The quiet, remote town was doing wonders for both of them. There was still an adjustment period, but they were getting there. She couldn't expect ten years to vanish with the fog.\n\nMom walked into the cabin and removed her coat. She eyed Hailey and Seraph and grinned before suffocating Avery in a hug. \"They're adorable. Look at them.\"\n\nMom had gone heavy on the patchouli today. Avery eased back before too much of the scent transferred.\n\nShe knelt down next to Hailey on the floor. \"Sweetie, I have to go meet some friends, but you be good for Grandma, okay?\"\n\nHer mother patted Avery's arm. \"What kind of dress are you going to get? Something sexy, I hope? You always dress too conservative.\"\n\nAvery resisted an eye roll. Mom's version of fashion was out of a hippie catalogue. \"I'll see what I can find. Thanks for watching her. She's not big into shopping, so she would've hated going.\"\n\nShe drove to the outer edge of town, past the mountains on her right and ocean to her left, navigating the winding roads. Zoe and Gabby said the outlet mall was in another county north of theirs, but right off the highway and easy to find. She hadn't ventured out much between work, Hailey, and the committee.\n\nFinding the shopping center, she parked and strode in. Zoe and Gabby were already there, browsing through the racks. Brent was there, too, wagging his finger in disapproval of one of their choices.\n\nHe grinned when he spotted her and made his way over. \"Let's find you something super sexy. Rawr.\"\n\nAvery laughed. \"Did your just rawr at me? And why is everyone so concerned about me finding a hot dress?\" She accepted a hug from Gabby and nodded a greeting to Zoe. \"Find anything good?\"\n\nGabby held up a pink sequin number and rolled her eyes. \"Didn't think finding pink and red would be so hard.\"\n\nZoe sighed. \"Let's try next door.\"\n\nAs they walked out of the shop and to the next stop, Brent shoulder-bumped Avery. \"Meant to offer before, doll. If you ever need a sitter, just call. My nephew's autistic, so I've got the basics down. Of course, I'm not a certain sexy animal doctor, but I've got a nice ass.\"\n\nGabby laughed and held the door open for them. \"I don't think a babysitting requirement is to have a fabulous ass.\" She slapped his butt when he strode past. \"It is nice, though.\"\n\nBrent rolled his eyes with dramatic flair. \"For reals, though. Just call.\"\n\nAvery grinned. \"I'd be afraid you'd turn Hailey into a diva.\"\n\nHe cocked a hip. \"And what, pray tell, is wrong with that?\"\n\n\"Got one,\" Zoe yelled from the back of the shop. She held up a short red spaghetti strap dress that darkened in color toward the hem.\n\n\"Love it.\" Brent fingered the satin material. \"Go try it on.\"\n\nWhen Zoe headed toward the dressing rooms, Gabby fished through a rack and sighed. \"I don't know why it matters so much. It's not like anyone's going to notice me.\"\n\nThe comment was unlike Gabby's typical enthusiasm. Avery frowned. Gabby's natural champagne blond hair was long and sleek. Her blue eyes had a lot of gray in them, adding a certain allure. She had a cute bow mouth and a nice, curvy body. Why wouldn't people notice her?\n\nWhen Avery said as much, Gabby shrugged. \"I'm the girl next door, the buddy, not the one men want to date. Especially around here, growing up with most of the guys.\"\n\nBrent and Avery shared a concerned look before Avery let the subject drop. She perused the rack and found a hideous dress with flowers sewn into the material. \"Brent, I found your dress.\"\n\nHis gaze raked the item. He shuddered. \"I'm here mainly to make sure you gals don't show up on Saturday looking hideous. Now put that back before someone sees you.\"\n\nShe laughed and moved on to another rack, spotting a light pink sheath dress with an empire waist. \"Gabby, for you?\" With her light complexion, the color would look great on her.\n\n\"Yes!\" She grabbed the dress, checked the size, and bounced toward the dressing room.\n\nA few minutes later, Brent made a noise of bottled excitement. \"Oh, Avery, doll? Check it out.\"\n\nThe red dress was a slinky slip style that came to a V in the front and had a swoop scarf back. If she didn't eat between now and Saturday, she might fit into it.\n\nShe pursed her lips. \"I'll try it on.\"\n\nMoments later, in the dressing room, her stomach fluttered as she checked herself out in the mirror. It was a perfect fit, even having a built in bra because of the low back and coming to a stop just above the curve of her rear end. It was racier than what she usually wore, but why not? Slimming, too.\n\nHanging up the dress, she changed and headed back out. \"Sold.\"\n\nBrent clapped. \"That was almost too easy. Let's grab some lunch and find shoes.\"\n\nBy the time Avery got home, she was exhausted but happy. She hadn't been shopping with girlfriends in ages, and the easy banter had lifted her spirits. It was nice for a change, not having to try so hard to say the perfect thing or act a certain way. And she was hereby taking Brent on all shopping excursions from now on.\n\nOn Monday, it snowed like the second coming. Eight inches by the time Avery was getting ready to leave for work and forcing a snow day from the school system. After dropping Hailey off at her mom's, Avery drove to the clinic, white-knuckling it the entire way.\n\nTheir little pocket between the ocean and the mountains didn't tend to get this much snow, so it was the topic of conversation. They'd gotten fourteen inches total by the end of the workday, and Avery stared at the accumulation through the front window. Everyone had taken off. All except Cade who was in his office finishing some charts. Avery's mom was keeping Hailey overnight, since school was cancelled tomorrow, too.\n\nHailey being away from home unnerved Avery, but Hailey had done well at Jenny's, and Avery needed to loosen her stranglehold on control. It took a lot of internal pep talk, but she conceded she wasn't alone anymore. She had help, she had friends, and letting them in was just one more step in moving on.\n\nEarlier in the day, she'd found a box with several tablets equipped with an electronic medical record system. Gabby told her they'd invested in the software two years ago, but no one was willing or had the time to scan charts and get them off the ground.\n\nDecision made, she went into the back room and grabbed the box with the tablets, figuring she'd get a jump on at least setting up a workstation to get the office digital ready. Maybe in an hour the roads would be clear and she wouldn't need heart medication to drive home. Until moving to Oregon, she'd only seen snow on TV.\n\nSettling in at the front desk, she connected the scanner and installed the program into the clinic computer system. She'd been working at the cardiology office when they'd switched from paper to EMR, but that had been before Hailey was born, so she was rusty. This system was a little different in that it was targeted more for veterinarian medicine than healthcare, but the operating procedures were similar.\n\nGlancing out the window, she noted the plows hadn't come through yet, so she checked next week's schedule and pulled the patient chart for first thing Monday to do a trial run on scanning the documents. After two attempts, she got the last few pages of dictation into the electronic chart. It would be a pain having to set up new accounts for the animals, and time consuming, but worth it.\n\nShe'd been so focused on her task that she hadn't heard Cade until he was right behind her. Jumping ten feet off her chair, she pressed a hand to her chest, heart thudding. \"Crap on a cracker, Cade. You scared me to death.\"\n\nHe grinned. \"Sorry. What are you still doing here? I thought I was alone.\"\n\nShe told him about Hailey and then the EMR project. Standing, she shut down the computer. \"It's getting late. I'll do more tomorrow. I was just installing for now while waiting for the roads to clear.\"\n\nThe grin slid from his face as he stared at her, gaze roaming her face in that unnerving way that made her flush in embarrassment. Richard had never looked at her like that, even when things were going well with their relationship. She knew she needed to stop comparing, but she'd only been with one man prior to Cade and rarely did she know what to expect. God, how she hated that, hated having no solid ground to stand on.\n\nHe stepped closer and pulled the pencil from her hair she'd used to pin the strands off her face. One corner of his mouth quirked in amusement. \"It's really hot when you do that, but I like your hair down.\" As if to emphasize his point, he combed his fingers through her hair and held the back of her head.\n\nHot. He'd just used her and hot in the same sentence.\n\nShe blinked, completely aware of him. Every single molecule and atom, aware. He made it impossible not to be. Cade filled a room, either with his laugh, his personality, or his blatant sex appeal. His hands were warm, almost as warm as his smile while he looked down at her, and she was helpless not to melt into him.\n\n\"I'm getting a few new fantasies about you and this desk.\" Leaning in, he brushed his lips over hers and sighed. \"It could be so good between us, Avery.\"\n\nHe kept his eyes open, blue gaze tracking her response, and she was putty. \"I want to.\"\n\n\"But?\"\n\nHow could she put into words her reservations when she didn't fully comprehend them herself? She wanted him more than she craved anything in too long. Yet old habits died hard, and Cade wouldn't be easy to walk away from afterward. She'd have to see him daily at work, around town. There would be no escaping.\n\nHe closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to hers. \"I hate what that prick did to you.\"\n\nShe wrapped her fingers around his wrists, him still cradling her head. \"He didn't do anything I didn't allow. I'm not a victim.\"\n\nHe laughed without mirth. \"You asked him to cheat on you? To ignore you and his own daughter? To kill your confidence one insult at a time?\"\n\nHer heart started to pound for an entirely different reason. They'd talked, but she hadn't delved that deeply into her past with Richard, not enough that Cade would know as much as he'd indicated. Which meant he'd read between the lines, he'd paid attention, and was figuring her out.\n\nTen plus years with Richard and he'd never remembered she hated peas. Six weeks and Cade could all but list her favorite foods. Angry at herself for comparing again, she shook it off.\n\n\"I didn't ask for him to do those things, but I allowed them. By not standing up for myself. For getting into a comfortable rut and not fighting, I allowed it.\" She sighed. \"I know you're frustrated with our pace. I'm sorry. If you want to stop, if you want to see someone else, I understand.\"\n\nNot that what they had was a relationship. She didn't know what label to slap on it, but relationship didn't fit. And the thought of ending things made her stomach twist in painful knots. But this would eventually end. His reputation proved he didn't have a long attention span.\n\nHe looked at her, a question in his eyes and fury closing ranks. \"I haven't looked at another woman since you swept into town. I won't cheat on you or make you feel like shit or ignore you. If we decide to end things down the road, then that's what we'll do, but for now, I'm here because I want to be.\"\n\nAnd there went the air from her lungs. He'd done nothing but prove himself, be completely honest with her, and she was acting like a skittish idiot. She just didn't know how to stop, to let go and...trust.\n\nShe threaded her fingers through his hair. He always initiated contact, and maybe by taking control of her actions she could take control of the doubt, too.\n\n\"I love it when you do that.\" His palms skimmed down her back and up again. \"Your hands in my hair? Major turn on.\"\n\nEmpowered, she lightly fisted the strands, earning a sharp inhale from him. This was what she needed. To know what she was doing right. \"What else do you like?\"\n\nHe seemed to be concentrating hard on breathing as he paused a split second before every inhale and exhale. His gaze never wavered from hers, but his eyes darkened with arousal.\n\nHis throat worked a swallow. \"I love it when your cheeks flush. It lets me know I've gotten under your skin.\"\n\nLike now? Because their open discussion was fueling her internal temperature to critical. She had no control over that, though. That was biology. \"What else?\"\n\n\"You make a needy little whimper in your throat when I kiss you. That? Extremely hot. And anything having to do with your breasts is good in my book. Like that green top you wore last week. It was this side of clingy and displayed those babies nicely.\"\n\n_Note to self: wear more formfitting shirts_. She could do that. The noise while kissing she'd been completely unaware she was doing, however.\n\nHe grabbed her hips, the motion seeming involuntary. \"When you get into your bossy mode, I go instantly hard watching you organize things.\"\n\nInteresting.\n\nJust to be a brat, she picked up the pencil he'd pulled from her hair and meticulously set it in the cup with her other pens. She lifted her brows in challenge.\n\nHe groaned and narrowed his eyes. \"Pushing your luck, sweetheart.\"\n\n_Sweetheart_. He'd never called her an endearment before. Heat flooded her core and spread. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears. Guess she liked it.\n\nSince it was fun watching him crack, she reached into his pocket and removed the paperclips he'd absently put there when she'd attach a note to his charts. Without taking her gaze from him, she dropped those into a tray with her other ones.\n\nIn the span of a second, she was pinned to his chest and held there by solid arms. His mouth crushed hers, needy, seeking. He shook against her, tension straining the muscles as he swept his tongue over hers. A mating. A claiming.\n\nHe backed her one step and lifted her onto the desk. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held him there. Driving her fingers into his hair\u2014because he said he liked that and she did, too\u2014she shifted to take the kiss deeper.\n\nThe phone rang.\n\nThey paused, still lip-locked. The machine kicked in, but no message was left. Cade patted his pockets out of habit, but she knew he didn't have the pager.\n\nShe tilted her head back. \"Drake's on call this week.\"\n\nHis gaze lifted from her throat to her mouth to her eyes. Need shifted into tenderness, and she realized he was surprised she'd known what he was looking for with his movements.\n\n\"I should get going. Early morning tomorrow.\"\n\nHe nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. \"Drive careful, yeah? The roads look like a mess.\"\n\nShe smiled, pressed a quick kiss to his mouth, and hopped off the desk. He called her name when she was halfway to the break room to get her coat. She turned.\n\n\"Your laugh halts everything in my head. Forgot to mention that.\" He looked away as if...shy. He rubbed the back of his neck while she stood there, heart in her throat, tempted to jump his bones right there in the clinic.\n\nHe was good. Really good. A charmer without equal.\n\nBut he wasn't trying to persuade or lure or coax. He was being sincere, having picked up on her need to understand what he liked. He...saw her.\n\nSaw. Her.\n\n\"Good night, Avery.\" He stepped into his office and kicked the door shut.\n\n# Chapter 14\n\n\"Hey, squirt. Can I see your iPad?\"\n\nHailey pushed the device into Cade's hands and started to rock on the couch beside him. The action seemed restless and nervous to him.\n\n\"I'll give it right back. I promise.\"\n\nHe quickly connected the device to his laptop through an adaptor and pulled up Hailey's coloring app. After transferring several images she'd wielded, he unplugged and handed the device back to her.\n\n\"All done, squirt.\"\n\nShe didn't take it right away, leaving it to sit on the cushion between them. The rocking intensified and then worry slammed into his gut.\n\n\"What's wrong? Can you show me on your iPad? Or sign it to me?\"\n\nShe didn't so much as turn her head, but the rocking slowed.\n\nMaybe she needed space? He blew out a slow breath and walked to Avery's computer. After going into the control settings, he made her printer friendly with his laptop and ran off several of Hailey's pictures. Five should do it. They were nothing more than squiggly lines and mismatched shapes, but they were hers.\n\nWhen Cade had first arrived to babysit, he'd noticed Avery had taken the handprints he'd traced and framed them above the fireplace mantle. Moved, he'd decided to add to the fridge drawings, but since Hailey didn't like coloring, he was forced to pull up the ones from her device.\n\nHe printed a couple for his own fridge and turned back to the kid. She seemed off tonight for some reason. Avery was going to be later than usual because of the Valentine's dance tomorrow and getting last minute details squared away. He was on his own.\n\nCarefully, he sat next to Hailey and pulled up her language app. \"Do you feel sick, squirt?\" He'd watched her like a hawk, so he knew she hadn't gotten into anything. When she didn't respond right away, he guided her hand over the screen. \"Yes or no? Do you feel sick? Have an ouchie?\"\n\nShe pulled her hand away.\n\nAt a loss, he turned off the device and switched on the TV. Going into the DVR, he brought up her sleepy time show. Perhaps she was just tired. Being a kid was exhausting, after all.\n\nHis estimation was confirmed when she yawned and tuned into the program. Afterward, she wasted no time going potty and brushing her teeth.\n\nHe set Seraph in bed with her and cut the light. \"'Night, squirt. I'm right out here, yeah?\"\n\nMaking his way back into the living room, he put his printouts into his laptop bag and set it off to the side before heading into the kitchen and taping Hailey's pictures to the fridge. When he walked into the living room, Hailey was sitting on the couch.\n\nCade rubbed his neck. \"Not tired after all?\" He sighed, sitting next to her. How did Avery know what was up, since Hailey wasn't verbal? Something could really be wrong and he'd have no damn clue. \"Don't get mad, squirt. I'm going to touch your forehead.\"\n\nIt wasn't hot but, strangely, she didn't push his hand away.\n\n\"I'm at a loss. Can you point me in the right direction? Show me what's on your mind?\"\n\nJust as he was about to give up and try to coax her back to bed, Seraph jumped up on the couch and Hailey dropped her head in Cade's lap. He froze, hands up like a criminal. Seraph settled into the crook of Hailey's arm and dozed off. Hailey's eyes drooped.\n\nHell. Now what?\n\nHe waited several beats until her breathing was deep and even, then snatched a quilt from the back of the couch and covered her. She'd never tried to cuddle with him before. She'd never so much as touched him. If he moved, he'd wake her, so he settled back and rested on the couch. The weight of her tiny head on his thigh and smell of her kid shampoo was oddly endearing. Gently, he set a hand on her shoulder and closed his eyes.\n\nThe next thing he knew, he was jerked awake by someone tapping his knee and Avery was in front of him. Rubbing a hand down his face, he looked at his lap. Hailey hadn't moved. \"What time is it?\"\n\n\"Almost nine.\" Her gaze darted between him and her daughter, confusion parting her lips and a tugging softness in her eyes. \"What happened?\"\n\n\"She was kinda off tonight.\" He shrugged. \"Don't know what it was about. I tried to put her to bed, but she did...this.\"\n\nAvery pressed her fingers to her lips and cleared her throat. Twice. \"She missed you, I'll bet. She didn't see you last week because of her sleepover.\"\n\n\"You think?\" His heart somersaulted in his chest. Or maybe he had indigestion. He liked the idea of Hailey missing him. He didn't know shit about kids, but he liked this one. A lot.\n\nHer mom, too, if he was going there.\n\n\"I thought she didn't like touch.\"\n\nAvery tucked a piece of chestnut hair behind her ear, not meeting his gaze. \"She doesn't much. Sometimes she'll snuggle into my lap or play with my hair, but not often.\"\n\nShe closed her eyes and pulled in a breath as if centering herself. Slowly, she opened them and lifted Hailey from the couch. Since she seemed to need a minute, he didn't follow when she carried the girl into the bedroom.\n\nHe stood and stretched, then headed for the kitchen. Changing his mind about making coffee, he grabbed a beer and went back into the living room. He set the bottle aside and dropped onto the couch, head in his hands, wondering what the hell was going on. And why he didn't mind the new squishy feelings that seemed to be shoving around in his chest, taking up space.\n\nThe couch dipped beside him, but he didn't lift his head.\n\n\"Are you okay?\"\n\n\"Yeah.\" He sighed and sat back, staring at the ceiling. \"I guess it freaked me out a bit, her acting different. I thought something was wrong.\" He'd almost called Avery, but honestly, having Hailey fall asleep on him had been more jarring.\n\nShe studied him for a moment in that quiet, contemplative way of hers that made him want to crawl inside her head. Rattle out some words.\n\nSetting her elbow on the back of the couch, she rested her head in her hand. \"This one time, Hailey was maybe four years old, she wouldn't get out of bed. It scared me to death. She wouldn't use sign language, and she didn't have a device yet. This went on for two painful hours until a fever finally spiked and I realized she was sick. Nothing major, just the flu, but I was petrified.\"\n\nHe would've crawled out of his skin with worry. \"How do you do it? How do you not go nuts without a way to know what's wrong?\"\n\nShe shrugged. \"You just do. That's parenting. She has some tells, nonverbal cues. I guess I just know her so well I watch for the signs.\"\n\nHe was starting to pick up on them, too, but it was more than that. Hailey wasn't just silent. She didn't offer affection, either. Not in the typical way anyhow. How did Avery get by with no hugs, no laughter, no chatter?\n\nAnd then it dawned on him, a punch right in his gut, why Avery had such a hard time adapting to what was happening between them. She'd been separated from her dick of an ex for two years, which meant there were problems before that. She had a daughter who didn't speak, who she couldn't caress. She had a damn hard time trusting people and accepting help.\n\nBecause she'd been completely, irrevocably alone.\n\nHad he been the first man to touch her, offer comfort or see her vulnerable side in all that time? The first to want to? Hell, no wonder she had walls. Quiet house, quiet kid, quiet mind. Like she'd shut it all down to exist.\n\nHe looked in her eyes, at the strength and composure in the cocoa depths, and for once in his life, he wanted to be the hero in someone's tale. Wanted to be the guy she'd fall into. His heart stuttered behind his ribs, and a trickle of sweat beaded down his spine, but he held out his hand in the space between them.\n\n\"Come over here.\"\n\nShe offered him a quizzical look, but scooted closer. He grabbed her thigh and slid it over his so she straddled him. Then he removed his T-shirt and tossed it to the floor. Her lips parted as her gaze drifted over his bare chest, his abs\u2014too quick a perusal to really take him in\u2014before meeting his gaze with wide eyes.\n\n\"Don't freak out on me.\" Grabbing the hem of her sweater, he lifted it to expose her belly. \"We're just talking.\" With a couple swift flicks of his wrist, her shirt joined his on the floor.\n\nShe immediately covered herself, which was a crying shame. Those beautiful breasts were begging to be touched behind her yellow bra. But he set his hands on her thighs and left them there as he calmly looked in her eyes. It was the only idea he could conjure to get her used to him, comfortable in her own skin while in the same room with him. At some point, she had to stop living in her head and feel.\n\n\"How was the meeting?\" he asked.\n\nHer pink lips opened and closed. She cleared her throat. \"You needed my shirt off to ask me that?\"\n\nUnable to help it, he grinned. \"If I had my way, you'd do everything shirtless. Look at you. You're lovely.\" The subtle compliment wasn't lost on her as a disbelieving note traced her expression. He'd keep working her until that disappeared altogether. \"But no, that's not why I took your shirt off. I'm trying to drop a barrier. Now, how was the committee meeting?\"\n\n\"Um, good. We just...\"\n\nHe drew lazy circles over her leg, working upward to distract her, but she broke off, so he prompted her to continue. \"You just what?\"\n\n\"Details. We just worked out the details.\" Her breathing hitched as his hands inched higher, tracing over her outer thigh and shifting closer to her hips.\n\nHe was seconds from needing to adjust his pants, but he held still for the sake of his cause. \"What kind of details?\"\n\n\"Who will set up what and where. That...\" He brushed his fingertips up her sides, earning a shiver from her. \"Kind of thing.\"\n\nShe stopped covering herself to drop her hands to his forearms. He skimmed the soft, warm skin beneath her breasts, wanting to lean forward and kiss her there. Hell, kiss her everywhere. Her eyes glazed and he knew he had her out of her head and into the just-feel-me zone.\n\n\"And what are you in charge of setting up, Avery?\" He dipped his voice an octave, rumbling her name like a prayer. He'd need to start praying for patience soon. Watching her lose control, little by little, was the hottest thing he'd ever seen.\n\nHer breath caught and her eyes shut as he traced the curve of her breast above her bra. Slowly, he brought his mouth there, kissing and licking. Damn, she tasted as sweet as she smelled.\n\n\"Answer the question,\" he said against her skin, bringing his hands around her back and splaying them low enough to dip his pinkies into her jeans. \"What are you in charge of setting up?\"\n\n\"Ah...the lighting. I'm making starlight.\"\n\n\"Starlight?\" Her head rolled back and he kissed her exposed throat. Her pulse beat harder, faster beneath his lips. \"How does one make starlight?\"\n\nShe moaned. He nearly busted out of his inseam.\n\n\"I don't remember,\" she breathed, fisting her fingers on his shoulders as if unsure what to do with them.\n\n\"Touch me and tell me how you make lights into stars.\" He personally didn't give a shit how, but she was on the precipice of falling over the cliff of reason and, by God, he'd kill to get her there.\n\nWithout protest, her hands fell to his chest. Stroked. \"It's all about placement.\" Her statement ended on a moan, vibrating from her chest to his and back. Her fingers moved lower, over his abs and stopping at his fly.\n\nJesus. \"Placement?\" Panting against her throat, he ran his hands up her back and cupped her shoulders from behind. He thrust against her core, just enough for her to feel the hard ridge of his reaction to her. \"That kind of placement, sweetheart?\"\n\n\"Yes. No.\" She gripped his waistband.\n\nHis eyes rolled back in his head hard enough to thunk his skull. His lips grazed her cheek in a path to her mouth. \"Which is it? Yes or no?\"\n\nThey weren't talking lighting placement anymore and they both knew it. For once, she didn't hesitate. She turned her head to hover over his lips, stealing all his oxygen. It didn't matter what she said. He wouldn't take things beyond this point. They had all night alone tomorrow to explore. Tonight was about preparation, about the learning curve, and teaching her how to be touched again. A reminder she had needs and he'd be more than willing to sate them. Tomorrow.\n\nHis dick wasn't getting the memo, though, and when she brought her mouth to his in answer, he forgot his own damn name or why they needed caution.\n\nShe crushed her mouth to his, her breasts to his chest, and cupped his jaw in the most shocking display of initiative. He'd always had to come to her, and her going after him as if there was no stopping it knocked any sense out.\n\nHis hands tangled in her hair, holding her to him while he plunged. Pillaged. A groan rumbled deep in his chest, laying claim and surrendering all at once. Her tongue stroked his as her hips rocked against his erection, and he had to break away or die from suffocation.\n\nHe stared at her, breaths rasping in and out of his chest, her dark eyes dialed to take-me and lips swollen from his kiss. And fuck it. He didn't need to breathe. He pulled her to him again. Teeth scraped. Tongues warred. Her nails raked his scalp and he almost came. Right there. In his damn jeans.\n\nIt was her who tore away this time, pressing her face into his neck and fighting for air as badly as he was. \"Cade.\"\n\nHe closed his eyes to the breathy, needy tone of her usually calm voice and gripped her hips in an effort not to unzip her pants. \"Yeah?\"\n\nHer hot breath skated across his neck. \"This was a really good talk.\"\n\nTilting his head to look at her, he paused long enough to roll the words around until they sank in. He laughed and dropped his head back to the couch. \"I keep telling you communication is very important.\" Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, he took in her flushed cheeks and swallowed hard.\n\nShe was so goddamn beautiful like this.\n\n\"I was right about your abs. I could cut my teeth on them.\"\n\nHe laughed again. \"A theory you can test another time.\" Like tomorrow, he hoped. He pressed his palms to his eyes to dispel the image of her nipping her way down his body. It didn't work. And he'd rather look at her, anyway.\n\n\"I'll meet you at the dance tomorrow instead of you picking me up. I have to be there early to set up.\"\n\nHe sighed, tracing his thumb over her bottom lip. \"To make starlight?\"\n\nShe smiled, and it hit her eyes like he hadn't seen often enough. \"Yes. To make starlight.\"\n\nIf he was a more poetic man, he'd find a way to say something romantic, but he wasn't, so he'd just wait until the dregs of arousal cooled enough for him to walk out without limping. It might take awhile.\n\n\"What does your dress look like? I should've snooped around while you were gone.\"\n\n\"I'm picturing you snooping around my closet.\" She shook her head as if pitying him. \"The dress isn't here. It's at Gabby's. Zoe and I are getting ready over there. Zoe's going to do my hair.\" She stopped and bit her lip. \"This does feel like prom all over again.\"\n\nHe wrapped a strand of her wavy hair around his finger. \"You're not going to let Zoe dye your hair blue like hers, are you?\"\n\n\"I think she's changing it to red to match her dress, but no. I'm not that adventurous.\"\n\nBefore Avery came along, he'd always been the adventurous one in his family, willing to take risks, however calculated. Aside from buying his house and working the clinic, he didn't often tie himself to one thing or person, happy to whittle away at life until he found something that stuck.\n\nHe had a suspicion Avery was more than a sticking point. She was a glue factory. Instead of getting the itch to bolt, he wanted to know more. Something besides her ex or the shitstorm of a marriage. Her life before that, maybe, and he refocused on what they'd been talking about.\n\n\"Who did you go to your prom with?\"\n\nShe bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. \"A boy from the baseball team. He played right field and kissed like he'd never made it to first base.\"\n\nHe laughed. \"Nice analogy. So no wild sex in the limo or after party?\"\n\n\"No, thank goodness.\"\n\nNodding, he realized the topic change worked and he figured he could stand without pain. The Redwood Ridge Valentine's dance wasn't prom, but he hoped to make a better impression afterward than her right fielder. Ending the night with a home run wouldn't suck, either.\n\n# Chapter 15\n\nAvery wrestled with a string of lights from the top rung of the ladder, blew a strand of hair out of her face, and cursed. The exposed beams in the botanical garden's hall were high. Too high for her to comfortably reach. Her and heights weren't exactly friends.\n\nNow what?\n\nFootsteps sounded from behind. She grabbed the ladder to turn, finding Drake and Flynn striding over. They tossed their coats by the front hall and made their way to the center of the room.\n\nFlynn assessed her in a swift glance and grinned. \" _I'm told you're making starlight. Need help?\"_\n\nHer conversation from last night with Cade came to mind and her cheeks heated. He'd obviously told his brothers some part of what had happened. Unsure how to feel about that, she resorted to sass to hide her embarrassment and grinned. \"Are you a starlight expert?\"\n\n_\"I can be_.\" Flynn winked.\n\nDrake rolled his eyes. \"Get down before you fall. Tell me what you need done.\"\n\nAvery climbed down and handed Drake the strand. \"What are you guys doing here, anyway?\"\n\nFlynn moved to the ladder and signed, \" _Cade called. He was going to come help you, but he got roped into doing something for Aunt Marie.\"_\n\nHe'd asked his brothers to help her? How...considerate.\n\nDrake looked down at her from the top rung. \"Lights? How do you want them?\"\n\nRight. She straightened and gave Drake directions, watching his forearms flex as his white T-shirt stretched across the muscles of his back. How was it all three of the O'Grady men were single? Even Flynn was attractive with his dark strawberry blond hair and lean body. Like a runner. Wide shoulders, narrow waist.\n\nBy the time they were done with the first beam, Avery was thinking of setting up the tables herself. It was a little useless to have her stand around while the guys worked.\n\nFlynn looked around. \" _It looks nice in here.\"_\n\n\"I'm not done yet, but thanks.\" She'd still be fighting with the first strand of lights if they hadn't shown up. It was looking pretty great. She had Drake bunching the strings together so they draped in clusters, resembling falling stars. \"How'd Cade talk you into this? And thank you, by the way.\"\n\nDrake looked down at her from the ladder, dark eyes intent. \"Help is around, Avery. You only need to ask.\"\n\nHer chest constricted at the words she'd heard before. Somehow, coming from Drake, the meaning dawned clearer. He may still be trying to get over his wife's death, and he may prefer his own company, but he was a friend, too. He'd come if she needed him. \"Thank you.\"\n\nHe nodded and went back to work.\n\nShe pulled out her cell and texted Rosa not to bother coming for the tables. She'd do them herself since she had time. She then texted the other ladies and told them the same thing with regards to their duties. Drake was nearly done, and she still had two hours before needing to be at Gabby's.\n\nWhen Drake set the ladder aside, Flynn turned to her. \" _So, you and my brother are a thing.\"_\n\nBeing new to Redwood Ridge and fresh off a divorce, the town gossip made her stomach twist. She'd led a sheltered, quiet life with Richard, and it was an adjustment having so many people interested in not only her love life, but everything else. She couldn't pass someone on the street without them asking how Hailey was or making idle chitchat about Cade. It was almost as if the whole town was trying to play matchmaker. Just this morning, the woman at the coffee shop had told her how Cade donated his time at a shelter every Thanksgiving before heading to his mom's. The woman followed this up by telling Avery what a \"catch\" he was.\n\nMaking friends and being social she could handle in moderation, but them delving into her personal life was hard to accept. She didn't know where this thing with Cade was headed. She wasn't interested in another long-term relationship or anything beyond what they were doing now. And he wasn't the husband and kids kind of guy. Why couldn't they just explore each other and have fun in private, without all the eyes?\n\nFlynn lifted his brows in question.\n\nShe opted for smartass again and pretended he meant the other brother. \"Drake might be shocked to learn we're a thing.\"\n\nFlynn's grin was infectious. _\"No, I think your type is someone a little younger, who's quicker to laugh. Am I right?\"_\n\n\"Are we going to paint each other's nails next? I didn't bring my manicure bag.\" Drake frowned, eying Flynn through narrow slits as if pissed he'd brought up the subject. Was he upset she was\u2014almost, kind of\u2014dating Cade or had Flynn said something he shouldn't have?\n\nFlynn shrugged. \" _Just making conversation_.\"\n\n\"Well, stop.\" Drake's features smoothed out before turning back to her. \"What else do you need done?\"\n\nShe bit her lip. \"I can get the rest.\"\n\n\"Or you could tell us what else needs to be done.\"\n\nRight. Help was around. Maybe by the time Hailey got to high school she'd have that mastered. \"The seating?\" She phrased it as a question, unsure if they really were going to stay.\n\nBoth Flynn and Drake waved her aside once she'd told them where they were supposed to arrange the round tables. Sighing at her uselessness once again, she went into the storage room to retrieve the d\u00e9cor and get a jump on that. By the front door, she assembled and decorated the check in area. Back in the hall, she placed a white tablecloth on each table as the guys got them set up, adding the flower petals and votives. Then she dragged the chairs away from the wall and arranged ten at each table.\n\nIt was early afternoon by the time they finished. The staff at the facility was supposed to let the DJ in and were handling the bar. She needed a shower before heading to Gabby's.\n\nFlynn waved. \" _See you tonight_.\"\n\n\"Thank you so much for helping.\"\n\nHe nodded and strode out, leaving her and Drake alone. She sighed and leaned against the wall, studying Drake's tense posture. His hard gaze traveled over the room as he raked a hand through his black hair.\n\n\"Heather and I had our wedding reception here.\"\n\nHer gaze flew to his as her heart squeezed. Being in the hall again had to be tough on him, yet he'd come to lend her a hand, anyway. Drake didn't talk much, but when he did, each word was infused with meaning. She didn't know why he'd mentioned it, but she was glad he had, glad he'd opened up a little.\n\n\"Cade showed me a few pictures of her. She was lovely.\"\n\nHe nodded. Slowly his gaze returned to her, pain and determination in his dark brown eyes. \"Did you need anything else?\"\n\n\"No, but thank you.\" She paused a beat. \"I understand it's difficult for you to be here, so it meant a lot you came.\"\n\nHis face was stony reserve, but his voice was gentle. \"We grew up together. Everywhere is hard to be. I make do. And you're welcome.\"\n\n\"Maybe one day you can tell me about her. I wish I could've met her.\" Her heart was breaking for what could have been. Drake obviously had loved Heather a whole lot.\n\nHis eyes glazed over as he stared at her feet. \"She would've liked you.\" He crossed his arms and blew out a breath.\n\nShe took mercy on him. \"Are you still coming tonight? I have my boxing gloves all ready to ward off any conversationalists.\"\n\nA ghost of a smile traced his lips. \"I think I'll pass. Appreciate the offer, though.\" He tucked his hands in his back pockets.\n\n\"It's because of the dress code, isn't it? You can tell me.\"\n\nHis smile widened. \"You got me. I'm not fond of neckties.\"\n\nShe eyed his jeans and T-shirt. \"How fond of that shirt are you?\"\n\nHe glanced down. \"I don't write it sonnets. Why?\"\n\nShe took a permanent marker from her back pocket and uncapped it with her teeth. \"Hold still.\" Securing the fabric in one hand, she drew a cartoon necktie on the front of the shirt, a couple buttons on the chest, and stepped back. \"I'm not as artistic as Zoe, but it'll do.\"\n\nHe looked at the shirt and then at her. Shaking his head in amusement, the heavy sorrow lifted from his eyes, degree by degree. \"You have me at a loss.\"\n\n\"Are we keeping tabs? I can write \"Caution: Will bite\" on your back.\"\n\nThe rusty sound of his short laugh echoed off the walls. \"You win. I'll come. One hour, then I'm out.\"\n\nShe grabbed her coat and purse from the front hall, trying her best not to show her excitement he'd changed his mind. \"I won't even make you dance with me. Brent, however, I can't control.\"\n\nHe shrugged into his coat and held the door, humor twisting his mouth. \"He's not my type.\"\n\nShe grinned all the way home, pleased she'd gotten Drake to come to the dance. She could only hope his grief would lesson a little more with each venture out of the house, replace old memories with new ones.\n\nMost of the snow had melted and the afternoon was mild, bringing in a thick fog. She breathed in the scent of pine and salt as she exited the car. Cade texted just as she unlocked the cabin door.\n\nI have Seraph at my house. That way your mom doesn't have to come by to let him out.\n\nA quick follow up came seconds later.\n\nThat wasn't meant to pressure you into staying. You can pick him up after the dance, if you like.\n\nShe smiled and shut the door. Cade hadn't pressured her at all, not even when most guys would've been pushed past the patience marker. She'd thought a lot about tonight and what might happen between them. Nerves pinged her belly, but it was mostly anticipation. Cade made her nervous, yet in a good way. It had just been so long since she'd had sex that she worried she'd let him down. Or embarrass herself. Richard hadn't exactly been experimental when it came to positions or trying new things.\n\nShaking her head, she thumbed a response. _Looking forward to tonight_.\n\nBefore heading to the bathroom, she called April to check on Hailey. Assured everything was fine, she stepped into the shower.\n\nWhen she got to Gabby's house\u2014a cute gingerbread tucked into the woods not far from Avery's rental\u2014everyone was waiting for her in the cozy kitchen. Scarred birch cabinets and green laminate floors\u2014very outdoorsy and rustic.\n\nBrent handed her a champagne glass filled with mimosa.\n\nShe muttered a thank you as another text pinged her phone. Digging in her purse while following them into the living room, she pulled out her cell. She grinned at Cade's name on the display and the response to her looking forward to tonight.\n\n_Not as much as I am_.\n\nBrent peeked over her shoulder. \"Oh, swoon. Doll, that man likes you bunches.\"\n\nZoe and Gabby started talking excitedly at once.\n\nAvery lifted her hand. \"Not talking about it, okay?\"\n\nShe quickly glanced around the living room in an effort to mute the subject, taking in the hardwood floors and colorful furniture. The fireplace mantle had more than a dozen photos in mismatched frames. The space suited Gabby, cheerful and open. Tall windows and decorative bottles. Magazines and plants. A fat orange tabby was curled in a corner, ignoring their existence.\n\nZoe plopped onto the arm of the navy sofa. She had, in fact, dyed her hair a bright, circus-fearing red. \"At least tell me you trimmed your naughty-zone. If you use the not-waxing excuse to back out of sex with Cade\u2014\"\n\n\"Not talking about it.\"\n\nHer face heated to inferno. Some things were too personal, and she'd only known these people for six weeks. Besides, she was good in that regard. Richard had insisted she have laser hair removal not only under her arms and on her legs, but in the bikini area, too. She'd huffed at the time. Now she was just grateful she didn't have to shave daily. Not that she'd tell her friends.\n\nGabby flopped on the couch, blond hair in rollers. \"Oh, come on. None of us have any juicy prospects. You could at least indulge us.\"\n\nAvery slammed half her mimosa and swallowed. \"Is nothing private?\"\n\nBrent laughed. \"You're so innocent it's adorable. Now, seriously. Dish.\"\n\n\"We haven't...\" She waved her hand and sighed. Giving in, she sat in a green armchair and rubbed her forehead. \"God, I'm so nervous. The only man I've ever slept with was my ex, and that was so long ago I'm not sure my parts still work.\"\n\nThey cooed and offered comfort.\n\nBrent squatted by her feet. \"It's just like riding a bicycle. A vibrating, naked, muscled bicycle.\"\n\nA giggle bubbled in her belly, morphing into a full-blown hysterical laugh. \"You're a nutcase.\"\n\n\"No question.\" He rose and looked her up and down. \"The first step is to make you look sexy. If you look sexy, you'll feel sexy. We need to get you some confidence.\"\n\n\"I'll do her hair,\" Zoe said.\n\n\"I'll apply makeup.\" Gabby stood. \"Let's do this.\"\n\nThey dragged her to a small vanity in Gabby's bedroom and shoved her onto the bench. Zoe got to work on her hair, pinning the curls up in a loose knot behind her head. Gabby worked on her face, using a smoky charcoal to lightly accentuate her eyes and a deep red for her lips. It was more war paint than she was used to, but she had to admit, it looked nice. The evening called for formality, so she supposed going all out was okay.\n\nWhat if Cade thought she was trying too hard? Would he like this look?\n\nRichard hated a lot of makeup. He'd wanted her to dress and look sophisticated at all times. A wallflower. Once, she'd gone to the grocery store just to pick up milk, deciding not to bother with cosmetics, and she'd run into his partner's wife. Richard had gotten on the phone within the hour to ask if she was sick and why she'd go out looking unpresentable.\n\n\"What's wrong, doll?\"\n\nShe glanced up at Brent and blinked the memory away. Cade wasn't Richard, and her ex no longer had a say in her life. She'd moved to Redwood Ridge to start fresh. Her plans never included getting mixed up in another romantic relationship, but she reminded herself Cade wasn't looking for one, either. This was just for fun until the attraction waned. No sense in freaking out over loss of control or worrying about someone trying to run her life.\n\nShe smiled. \"Nothing. I'm fine.\" She glanced at the sleigh-style bed where the dresses were laid out over a thick pink duvet. \"Should we get dressed now?\"\n\nZoe's cell phone rang. She glanced at the screen and cursed. \"That's Mrs. Tetherman. She's watching Mom for me.\" She took the call and walked into the hallway.\n\nGabby turned from the mirror. \"I hope she doesn't have to cancel. She's been looking forward to this for weeks. She hardly gets out anymore.\"\n\nAvery bit her lip, then remembered her lipstick and stopped. \"Her mom's dementia is really bad?\"\n\nGabby turned back to the mirror with a frown, applying eye shadow. \"Worse every day. People keep telling her to put her in a home, but Zoe won't do it.\"\n\n\"I'll go over there if there's a problem. That way she can still attend.\" Brent sat on the edge of the mattress. \"I don't have a date anyway, and her mother does better with men.\"\n\n\"That's strange, don't you think?\" Avery moved to the bed and sat next to him. \"I'd think females would be more comforting.\"\n\n\"Don't know, but Zoe's tried every female caregiver in three counties. None stick. I visit and her mom's fine.\"\n\nTheir conversation was cut short when Zoe came back into the room. \"False alarm. Mrs. Tetherman just wanted to know where Mom's bedtime dose of medicine was. I had to move it to a locked cabinet...\" She waved her hand. \"Let's get you dressed, Avery, since you have to leave early.\"\n\nShe did have to arrive in under an hour to see to any last minute details and be sure the ladies running the entry table had everything they needed. Stepping into the bathroom, she put her clothes into a small bag to wear tomorrow and carefully took the dress off the hanger.\n\nShe zipped the back and then looked in the mirror, hardly recognizing her reflection. The dress made her breasts more full, her waist thinner. The bright red matched her lipstick and brought out the natural chestnut highlights in her hair.\n\nPerhaps Brent was right. She looked good. Different, but good. Some of the nerves fled from her body. She was young, reasonably attractive, and had a man waiting for her tonight. She was going to have fun for once and not worry about the world closing in or controlling the outcome.\n\n# Chapter 16\n\nCade handed Aunt Rosa his coat in the entryway to the gardens and waited for his brothers to do the same. He endured a kiss from his mom, said hello to a few people, and headed toward the open ballroom.\n\nHalf the town was already in attendance, by the look of things. The lights were dimmed to nearly dark and candles flickered on the tables. To his right, the DJ played instrumental music while people mingled. To the left was the bar.\n\nBingo.\n\nHe ordered a beer and then turned to lean against the bar, his brothers flanking both sides. From here, he could take in the whole room. More importantly, scope out Avery. He knew she'd be fluttering about, and he wouldn't get to pin her down until the ball was rolling, so he'd wait here and hope to spot her in boss mode.\n\nSo hot.\n\nFlynn nudged his shoulder and pointed to the ceiling.\n\nA grin tugged at his lips. He'd be damned. It did look like starlight raining down from the rafters. In fact, the whole setup was so different from years past, he'd never know he wasn't at a wedding if not for all the pink and red.\n\nSpeaking of, Gabby and Zoe made their way over, Zoe decked out in a multi-tone red dress and Gabby in pale pink.\n\n\"You look lovely, ladies.\" Cade toasted them with his bottle.\n\nGabby lifted her champagne flute. \"Thank you. Avery outdid herself. Isn't this great?\"\n\nFlynn nodded, eyes full of mischief. \" _Drake hung the lights_.\"\n\nZoe's eyes rounded on Drake. \"You did?\"\n\nHis older brother shrugged, not meeting her gaze. \"Just did as Avery asked.\"\n\nShe stared at him a heartbeat too long and finally nodded. \"I'm glad you came.\"\n\nDrake cleared his throat. \"Let's get a table.\"\n\nThe ladies had already snagged one near the dance floor in a corner before they'd arrived. Cade followed them through the crowd, craning his neck to check for Avery. He was dying to see her, to find out if this mysterious dress would drop his jaw. The way he figured it, she could wear a paper bag and he'd want her anyway.\n\n\"She'll be here in a minute.\" Brent smiled as they sat down, reading Cade's intentions. \"She swore she'd stop working and have fun as soon as the music started.\"\n\nCade doubted it.\n\nThey made idle chitchat for a few minutes. Cade clenched his teeth and forced himself to sit still when all he wanted to do was prowl the room for Avery. His skin itched and his body tensed.\n\nHe didn't know if it was the anticipation for after the dance or just her not being within touching distance, but it wasn't like him to be so wound up over a woman. Sometime over the last six weeks, she'd crawled inside his head, his chest, and stayed there. Taking up space. Making him feel things. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked over the crowd.\n\nAnd saw her.\n\nThe deep red of her gown matched the shade of her lips. The material dipped into a V at her breasts, clung to the curves of her waist and hips, and flowed in a slip to her ankles. A slit up one side hinted at the long legs beneath, allowing nothing more than a peek. Her hair was pinned up, exposing her regal neck, and she'd done something to her eyes to make them a warmer shade of milk chocolate.\n\nWith slow grace, she drifted over in\u2014oh hell\u2014fuck me red heels, and sat between him and Drake.\n\n\"Hey, guys. You all look great.\"\n\nSince it was anatomically impossible to swallow his own tongue, he attributed the lump in his throat to nerves. Nerves? Him? He cleared his throat. \"So do you. Beautiful.\"\n\nThe smile hit her eyes, and him somewhere below the belt. \"Thank you.\"\n\nWhen she turned to Drake, Cade forgot to breathe. The back of her dress was open, dipping all the way to the small of her back. The pale smooth skin begged to be stroked, kissed. Slowly.\n\nHer calm voice brought his gaze up to his brother. \"After I went to all that trouble to make you a tie, and you busted out a suit, anyway.\"\n\nDrake ran a hand down his white shirt, necktie already loosened and first button undone. \"I'll save it for my next formal occasion.\" One corner of his mouth quirked in...damn. Drake was smiling. Avery had gotten him to come to the dance _and_ smile.\n\nThe rest of the table noticed, according to their wide eyes and parted lips, but no one said anything. Drake appeared oblivious to the attention. Cade met Flynn's gaze across the table. Flynn nodded in understanding.\n\nWait. She'd made his brother a tie?\n\nHe must've said the question aloud because Avery turned in her seat and breathed a laugh. \"Not really. I\u2014\"\n\n\"Drew on my T-shirt with a permanent marker.\" The other corner of Drake's mouth lifted, transforming his half-cocked smile into a grin.\n\nThe breath seeped from Cade's lips. He was immediately thrown back into childhood, of playing baseball and throwing snowballs. To Drake and Heather's wedding, where that grin never once left his brother's face. It had been so long, so damn long since he'd seen any sign of life in Drake. Flashes here and there, gone too fast to note they'd even manifested.\n\nThere was obviously an inside story about the shirt, but Cade didn't give a shit what it was because the only thought taking up residence in his mind was getting his mouth on Avery, every inch of her. For making Drake smile again. For organizing the clinic and this event. For being a great mom. For having the courage to leave a comfortable, privileged life and start over.\n\nFor making Cade's heart pound, stop, and pound again.\n\nThe squeal of a mic echoed through the room and he jumped. Shaking his head to clear it, he took a long pull from his beer and forced his gaze to the interruption. Aunt Marie was on the DJ's stage in full mayor mode. In year's past, she'd always said a few words before kicking off the event. He sat back and pretended he'd heard what she said.\n\nAnd then she called Avery's name.\n\nAvery muttered an \"oh crap\" in response while standing. The room cheered as she walked to Marie and took the place beside her. His aunt put Avery on display, a position she obviously was uncomfortable with if her blush and clenched fingers were any indication. Yet she plastered a smile on her face and waved.\n\n\"Are you having fun?\" Avery asked into the mic.\n\nThe patrons clapped and whistled.\n\n\"Good. I'm glad you all could make it. I'm getting a lot of compliments, but it wasn't just me who planned tonight. It was the effort of the committee, so please give them some love.\"\n\nThe room clapped. Avery rolled her eyes and waved her hand, indicating they weren't loud enough. The room erupted and she smiled.\n\n\"That's better. I'd also like to thank two special guys who helped me set up earlier and saved me from a fall off the ladder. Flynn O'Grady.\"\n\nGabby signed for Flynn, repeating Avery's words, and Flynn stood to take a mock bow, earning a laugh from Avery.\n\n\"And,\" she went on, dropping her voice to a conspiring tone, \"whatever you do, please do not tell the other guy I said he helped me. Drake O'Grady would be totally embarrassed to know I said anything at all.\"\n\nAll eyes shifted to Drake. And hell. His brother was still grinning, eyes on Avery and slowly shaking his head in amusement.\n\nTime seemed to stop as a collective pause filled the room. Then the applause erupted. Avery quickly quieted them down with a wave of her hand. She nodded to the DJ to go ahead and start, then bunched the front of her dress to walk down the stairs.\n\nCade couldn't testify to what song played or who did what as he tracked her hurrying back over to the table and reclaiming her seat.\n\n\"I can't believe Marie put me on the spot like that.\" Her cheeks were almost as red as her killer dress.\n\n\"Believe it, doll.\" Brent lifted his glass in mock toast. \"You did good.\"\n\nShe turned to Drake. \"Are you mad I called you out?\"\n\nDrake lifted one brow. \"Do I look mad?\"\n\nFlynn grinned. \" _How would she know the difference?\"_\n\nBrent rose from his seat and clasped Zoe's hand. \"Ladies, we're dancing now.\" He claimed Gabby's hand with his other. \"Avery?\"\n\n\"In a minute,\" she said, settling back in her chair. \"Go ahead.\"\n\nAnd that was pretty much how the next hour went. Flynn got up for a song or two to dance with the others, but the three of them remained seated, virtually not talking and watching the crowd.\n\nFinally, a slow song came on, and Cade shifted to Avery to ask her to dance, but she was conversing with Drake. Anyone who could get his brother to talk shouldn't be interrupted, so he draped his arm over the back of her chair and rubbed his thumb across the smooth, soft skin of her back.\n\nShe shivered. He grinned.\n\nFlynn stood to dance with Gabby. Brent already had Zoe locked in, twirling her around the floor like only a gay man could pull off. He made the others look bad.\n\n\"Don't look now, but you might turn into a pumpkin. It's been ninety minutes since you arrived.\" Avery laughed and sipped her champagne.\n\nDrake shrugged. \"I think it's my car that would turn into a pumpkin, not me.\" His gaze traveled the room. \"I'll take off in a bit.\"\n\n\"Is this bringing up bad memories?\" She asked so softly, Cade almost hadn't heard over the music.\n\nDrake swallowed, staring back at her with a blankness in his eyes. Just when Cade thought he wouldn't answer, Drake crossed his arms and shook his head. \"Brings up good memories, which is bad.\"\n\nCade stilled. In the four years since Heather had died, he'd tried everything except strapping Drake to a chair to get him to open up, to say anything about the grief so he could move past it. Avery seemed to pull words from him with ease as if they'd known each other a lifetime. Or maybe because they hadn't was exactly why Drake could talk to Avery.\n\n\"Where did you and Heather meet?\"\n\nHumor filled Drake's eyes. \"In the sandbox. I was four. She was three.\"\n\nAvery laughed in the lilting, silky way that wound around Cade's chest. \"Robbing the cradle. Was it love at first sight?\"\n\nDrake shook his head and looked down, but his lips were curved in an uncommitted version of a smile. \"No, that came later.\" He sucked a shallow breath and eyed the dance floor.\n\nCade followed his gaze. The others were making their way back to the table. A ballad was still playing, but Cade remained seated. He'd get her to dance with him at the next set.\n\nA wicked gleam lit Zoe's eyes when they sat down.\n\nBrent narrowed his eyes at her. \"What's that look about?\"\n\nZoe shrugged. \"Do you know how to do The Electric Slide, Avery?\"\n\n\"Uh...yes. Who doesn't?\"\n\nGabby threw her head back and laughed. \"Good. Because Zoe just put in a request. We're getting you out of that chair.\"\n\nAvery turned to Drake. \"This goes both ways. I said I'd protect you if you came. Help a girl out.\"\n\nDrake leaned his forearms on the table. \"I have no defense against The Slide. Sorry.\"\n\nThe slow set ended and the opening to Zoe's request filled the room. Cheers went up as others made their way to the dance floor.\n\nBrent gave Avery no warning. He stood, rounded the table, and wrapped an arm around her waist. \"Let's go.\"\n\nAvery shook her head.\n\nBrent dragged her to her feet. Zoe and Gabby got in on the action, tugging on each hand until she had no choice but to follow. On the floor, she stood awkwardly for a beat as the others line danced around her until Brent hip-bumped her for encouragement.\n\nThe moment she gave in, Cade's heart drummed a hard, thumping beat against his chest, stealing his oxygen. Face flushed, she moved across the floor with fluid grace and a grin that encompassed the entire state. For once, she let go of those reservations she'd clung to and relaxed.\n\nIt was like watching a shell crack and fall away. A piece of her wall crumbling. He wondered if this was the real Avery, if she'd just buried her so deep she'd forgotten that part of her was there. If that were the case, the rare glimpse was enough to make him promise to move the moon to get this side fully exposed.\n\nBecause damn. He couldn't breathe. Couldn't take his eyes from her.\n\n\"Be careful, little brother. That looks like more than a good time on your face.\"\n\nHe blinked and forced his lungs to accept air. \"So what if it is?\" When Drake didn't respond, Cade dragged his gaze away from Avery to find a hard, determined set to his brother's jaw and something like murder in his eyes. \"What?\"\n\n\"She's a good person. I like her.\"\n\nCade was feeling a little homicidal himself. He reined it in and took a deep pull of oxygen to stop the pounding in his temples. \"Maybe you should go out with her then.\"\n\nDrake went rigid, eyes narrowed to slits.\n\nWhat in the hell was wrong with him, to go after his brother like that? He knew that wasn't what Drake meant, and though Big Brother liked a lot of people, it had been too long since he'd remembered that fact.\n\n\"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.\" Cade scratched his jaw and kicked his feet onto the chair beside him, crossing his ankles and his arms. \"It's just...\" Hell. Damned if he knew what the problem was, other than it involved a brunette about twenty feet away. \"It's just her ex was a real asshole. As in, I'd leave nothing left of him if we ever crossed paths.\"\n\nDrake's brows lifted. \"And what? You're going to be the guy who proves not all men are assholes? You're going to be the one to make it all better?\"\n\nHe scrubbed his hands over his face. \"Maybe.\"\n\nExcept there was no maybe about it. From day one, all he'd done was kill himself with patience. Not rushing her. Waiting her out. Living for the moment when he dragged a laugh from her belly or got her eyes to lose focus from his touch. Wanting nothing more than to show her someone enjoyed her company, her self-depreciating wit, and her inane capability of caring for others, even those who'd hurt her deeply.\n\nChrist. He'd been doing everything to get her to trust him, to fall into him. _Fall for him_. And he had a sinking suspicion he was getting way more out of his efforts than she was.\n\n\"I'll be damned.\"\n\nHe glared at Drake, at his quizzical brow and dropped jaw. \"What?\"\n\n\"You're into her. I mean, really into her.\"\n\nNo kidding. And to think he'd been happy Avery got his brother to talk again. \"Where have you been? I told you that weeks ago. You know, if for once in my life you gave me a little credit\u2014\"\n\n\"Shut up.\" Drake shook his head as if unable to make heads or tails of the situation. \"You're falling for her.\" When Cade opened his mouth, Drake lifted a finger. \"I said shut up. You haven't rolled over and exposed your underbelly yet, but you're sure as shit halfway there. Puppy love.\"\n\n\"Have you lost your goddamn mind?\" His heart started doing that jackhammer thing, and the edges of his vision grayed. That didn't mean his brother was right. Did it? \"I never said love, never implied it. It's too soon. I like her, yeah, but\u2014\"\n\n\"Puppy love. The beginning stages before you fall so hard the rest of your life before her is a blur.\" Drake stood.\n\n\"Where are you going?\"\n\n\"To see if my car's a pumpkin yet.\" The strangest smile twisted his mouth before he met Cade's eyes. \"Godspeed. It's all downhill from here.\"\n\nCade opened his mouth, but Drake was already halfway to the door. He ground his jaw, unsure why he was so pissed. Or perhaps that was fear shoving around in his chest, causing a cold sweat to break out over his back.\n\nHe didn't know how long he sat there, fuming. Panicking. No, it was fuming. But when he looked up, the DJ had changed the set to a slow mix and his friends were back in their seats staring at him with a cross between curiosity and trepidation.\n\nAll but Avery, who was at the next table talking to the fire department. Ignoring him. Laughing. Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Laughing some more. Not noticing him at all. Laughing...\n\nFlynn knocked on the table to get his attention. \" _You okay?\"_\n\n\"Define okay.\" Okay as in sunshine and rainbows? Was he still meandering through his life looking for the next good time? Was he still having fun and taking names?\n\nFlynn's smile fell. \" _Where's Drake? What's wrong?\"_\n\nShit. He sighed. \"He went home. Everything's fine. I'm fine.\" Or he would be as soon as he had Avery next to him again.\n\nHe shoved away from the table and walked over to where she was still talking to the firefighters. He used to like those guys.\n\nWithout giving her a chance to protest, he wrapped an arm around her waist, lifted her to the balls of her feet, and didn't deposit her again until they were in the middle of the dance floor. Then he put his arms around her and urged her closer, shifting into a slow glide. He breathed in her berry scent and closed his eyes.\n\nYes. That was much better.\n\n# Chapter 17\n\nAvery burrowed deeper into Cade's embrace as they danced, absorbing his warmth and getting more than a little excited being against the solid wall of him. Her pulse tripped at the caveman way he'd dragged her onto the floor. Primal. Territorial.\n\nTilting her head back to look at him, she noted the tension around his eyes and mouth. \"Something wrong?\"\n\nHe looked down his nose at her. \"Not anymore.\"\n\nBut there was something wrong before? \"I was having a nice conversation with the fire department.\"\n\n\"I noticed.\"\n\nWas he jealous? It was so absurd she almost laughed.\n\n\"Relax, Avery. I just wanted to dance with you. You spent most of the night talking to my brother, and we haven't had a second alone.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry. I was trying to make Drake more comfortable\u2014\"\n\n\"That's not what I meant.\" His chest expanded with an inhale. \"He came tonight, which was a miracle in itself. Don't ever be sorry for whatever it is you do to get him to open up.\" Resting his forehead to hers, he sighed. \"I just wanted to dance with you,\" he repeated.\n\n\"Well, I'm glad you almost asked me.\"\n\nHis grin turned her to mush. \"Almost?\"\n\n\"Actually, you didn't ask at all. You just kinda went all alpha.\"\n\n\"Alpha, huh?\" He kissed the tip of her nose. \"I'll show you how alpha I can be later.\"\n\nGod. Just...wow. Need and anticipation coursed through her veins. Her toes curled in her strappy shoes. \"Promises, promises.\"\n\nHe growled and brought his lips to her ear, his breath hot. \"I always keep my promises, sweetheart.\" His hands skimmed down her back and up again, making her shiver at his rough palms against her exposed skin.\n\nSuddenly, everything was on fire. Thrumming, burning. The breath caught in her throat. Her pulse went crazy. Sliding her hands from his chest to his neck, the erratic beat of his heart pounded beneath her palm. The bulge behind his zipper pressed into her hip as they swayed.\n\nHe was just as turned on.\n\nShe had a suspicion every eye in the joint was on them. There had been gossip for weeks about the two of them, but they hadn't given the town anything to fuel the speculation. Until now. The way he held her, intimately close, and the way he was looking at her, all hunger, would leave no doubt.\n\n\"They're playing your song,\" he said, his voice all gravel.\n\nTilting her head, she focused on the music. \" _Lady in Red_ is my song?\" She didn't know she had a song. Didn't know how to feel about him giving her one, either. That implied...more.\n\n\"You are wearing red, and last I checked, you are a lady.\" Humor blended with the heat in his eyes, turned the blue to a stormy gray. \"And you're dancing with me. Facts are facts.\"\n\nShaking her head, she breathed a laugh. \"Hard to argue with fact.\"\n\n\"I have more where that came from.\" He rested his cheek against hers. \"Fact: You look so beautiful I can't breathe if I stare too long. Fact: I was jealous of a gay man because Brent spent more time on the dance floor with you tonight than me.\" He turned his head, rubbing his jaw along her cheek. \"Fact: I want you so bad it hurts.\"\n\nHer legs threatened to give out. She whimpered, hypersensitive to the press of his chest to her breasts, the throbbing between her legs, the moist heat of his breath, the light linen scent of him. Everything inside her went haywire.\n\n\"How long do we have to stay? Are you required to help clean up afterward?\"\n\nShe blinked at his rapid topic change and stilled their motion. \"No, the committee is coming back tomorrow. They gave me the rest of tonight off, since I set up and...\"\n\nHe grabbed her hand and led her toward the back of the room, weaving through people at a clipped pace. In her heels, she struggled to keep up. He noticed and slowed his steps. A little.\n\nGuiding her out of the ballroom and to the coat check, they waited side by side in silence for his Aunt Rosa to collect their things. He tapped his foot and thrummed his fingers on his thigh.\n\nShe focused on breathing so her face wouldn't connect with the floor from lack of oxygen. This was it. They were going back to his place. They were going to have sex. Was it odd she was more nervous now with Cade than she had been to lose her virginity to Richard?\n\nWith a knowing smirk, Rosa handed over Avery's purse and coat. Cade shrugged into his jacket and then held hers out for her to step into. Wasting no time, he nodded to his aunt, placed a hand low on Avery's back, and guided her to the door.\n\nThe cool breeze hit her face and she gulped air as they walked across the parking lot. They were at Cade's car, him holding the passenger door open before she realized where they were. If she left with him, he'd need to drive her back in the morning in order for her to pick up Hailey. Plus, if her car stayed in the lot overnight, everyone would know she'd gone home with him.\n\n\"Avery?\"\n\nHer gaze flicked to his. \"My car's over there.\"\n\nHe stared at her a beat, a question in his open expression, hesitancy in his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it again. Closing his eyes, he drew a slow breath, and her stomach twisted. He apparently interpreted her statement to mean she was turning him down.\n\n\"Can I follow you? So I have my car in the morning?\" Or later tonight. Should she sleep over? Did he want her to go home once they were...done? She didn't know the rules.\n\nHis gaze leveled on her, the relief in his eyes contrasting the muscles working his jaw. He nodded and shut the door. \"I live on a side street near Gabby's house.\"\n\n\"Okay. Just give me a minute and I'll follow.\"\n\nOn the short drive over, she checked her phone and was assured April hadn't called about Hailey. Relief filled her chest to mingle with nerves. She wove through town, passing the turn off for her cabins and made her way down Gabby's street. At the end of the road, she followed Cade onto a private drive that looped and curved through the dense woods. To the left was a modest two-story cabin, lights glowing from the interior to illuminate the pitch blackness.\n\nCade's car kept going another block until he turned onto a gravel driveway. She pulled in behind him and cut the engine, pausing for a moment to take in the house. Much like her rental, his home was a log cabin, but on a grander scale. Two stories and lots of windows. Pocketed between several pine, birch, and sequoia, it had a wraparound porch with bare wood rocking chairs.\n\nWhen he opened his car door, she blew out a breath and did the same. He waited for her to come to him, muscles tense and jaw set. She didn't know if he was as anxious as her or if something else had him on edge, but neither did anything to calm the riot inside her head.\n\nShe glanced at the cabin. \"I like your house.\"\n\nHe cleared his throat. \"Thank you. I need to let the dogs out, but how about a tour after?\"\n\nShe took the statement for what he'd intended\u2014a way to distract her and make her more comfortable in the transition. It shocked her all over again how well he knew her, how well he understood her quirks and nuances. \"Sure. I'd like that.\"\n\nShe followed him onto the porch and then stepped inside when he gestured for her to precede him. He'd left a few lamps on to guide her through a small foyer and into a wide open living room. Hardwood floors met a stone fireplace in the corner. Forest green leather couches made an L shape in the middle of the room, accompanied by bare wood accent tables. It was clean and tastefully decorated with forest prints on the walls and exposed beams.\n\n\"A man who knows how to decorate.\"\n\nHe laughed. \"Gabby and Zoe helped with that. The layout design was mine, though. Dad owned all this property. He was going to build the clinic here, but chose town instead. We passed Mom's house on the way in. Drake and Flynn's houses are just down the road.\"\n\nThat was really nice they lived so close together. The location was ideal as well, tucked into the woods, but not far from town. Peaceful, serene, without total isolation.\n\n\"Make yourself comfortable. I'm just going to let the dogs out.\"\n\nShe glanced over the room, remembering he had picked up Seraph earlier, but the dogs weren't around.\n\n\"I have them in the mudroom out back.\"\n\nShe nodded. When he was gone, she walked around, finding a flat screen TV in a corner bureau and photos of his family on the mantle. She grinned at a picture of Cade and his brothers from when he was about seven years old, standing by a riverbed, arms around each other. A photo of Heather and Drake from their wedding was next to it beside a picture of Cade and an older gentleman. Their eyes were so similar she knew it must be his father. Drake got his dark hair, and Flynn his smile.\n\nThe clattering of toenails hitting hardwood sounded behind her and she turned just in time to catch Seraph mid-leap. Kneeling, she gave the puppy some love, showing equal attention to Freeman. They licked her face and she laughed, looking up at Cade in the entryway. She paused.\n\nOn his shoulder was a small gray kitten, nuzzling his neck. Cade seemed unaware of the adorable furball, his attention on her and a smile curving his lips. He blinked and must've noticed her distraction because his hand came up to pet the kitten.\n\n\"This is Cutin. She was a stray left out in the snow. The evening we met, actually. She was one of the reasons for my sour mood that night. Her siblings didn't make it.\"\n\nOh God. As if he wasn't sexy as heck enough, he had to stand there with his delicious body, stroking a kitten, and saying something like that. Swoon.\n\nHe shrugged. \"She likes sitting on my shoulder for some reason. You want a tour?\"\n\nShe wanted to rip his clothes off and lick him from head to toe, but she stood, somehow not passing out from the lightness in her head. \"Yes.\"\n\nThey walked into a large kitchen off the living room, one she'd kill to have. About the only thing she missed about her time with Richard was their enormous kitchen. She'd loved sitting at the table early in the morning sipping coffee and watching the sunrise. When she'd gotten too lonely, she'd baked cookies or cooked a dinner he'd never seemed to make it home to eat. But the process had been the draw, the relaxation in the task.\n\nCade's design was much different, though. Black appliances, green marble countertops, and light oak cabinets. A patio door led to a deck next to a screened-in mudroom. An island had four stools tucked underneath, and off to the side, a nook held a table big enough to seat eight.\n\nShe imagined him and his brothers there sharing a beer. Or a gaggle of future kids fighting over the last drumstick while his wife laughed at something he said. Normal niceties, an everyday image. Things she'd never had because Richard had no interest in spending time with her and Hailey. A scene she'd never experience because she was done dreaming about such nonsense and had sworn off that kind of hurt again.\n\nStill, her chest ached a little.\n\n\"Where did you go just now?\" Cade stepped closer, running his fingers down one of her arms. \"You look miles away.\"\n\nShe smiled and reached up to pet the kitten on his shoulder. \"Nowhere. Just thinking.\" Cutin meowed and nuzzled her hand, making her smile widen. She was an adorable furball.\n\nHe nodded, looking like he didn't believe her, but he pointed toward the way they came. He gestured at a half bath near the base of the stairs and then started climbing.\n\nShe followed, her stomach flip-flopping with every step.\n\nHe led her to the right. \"Bathroom.\" He stepped into a bedroom with a simple queen bed and dresser, depositing the cat. \"Guest room. Though I never have guests, so I may need to rethink that.\" He scratched his jaw.\n\nShe laughed and trailed him past another bedroom.\n\n\"Room I don't know what to do with yet.\" He pivoted to the left, past the stairs, and into a tiny loft that held a computer desk and two bookshelves. \"That's the master bedroom.\" He stopped outside a doorway and met her gaze, brows drawn together as if waiting for direction from her on what to do next. He cleared his throat. \"My bedroom.\"\n\nWith more bravado than she felt, she walked into the room. Behind her, he let out a shallow breath that rasped between his teeth, and some of her uneasiness dissipated. If he was nervous, too, then she wasn't so alone.\n\nHis bedroom was amazing. Four poster mahogany bed in the middle of the room, with two matching dressers and two nightstands. The bedding was a slate gray pattern, complimenting the midnight blue walls. The colors might've made the space seem small if not for the patio doors letting in natural light and a window on the opposite wall. A porch had a grand view of the mountain base and forest.\n\nShe walked over to the sliding door and crossed her arms, taking in the moonlight hitting the trees and riverbed. A fog had rolled closer to the mountain base, thick and surreal as it hovered in the distance.\n\n\"This is really something, Cade.\"\n\nHe came up behind her, setting his hands on her shoulders and kissing her temple. \"I don't hate the view.\" His voice was low and coarse, riddled with need. His hands drifted over her collarbone, heating her skin. \"And I don't mean the view beyond the glass. I've pictured you here more times than I should admit.\"\n\nWhen he dropped a kiss to her neck, his lips lingering, she closed her eyes and leaned into him, his warmth. He traced a slow sensual path from her neck to behind her ear, cupping her jaw with his hand. His arousal pressed into her backside. Her breasts grew heavy and a shiver tore through her.\n\nBut then the shiver morphed into trembling, and she couldn't seem to stop. Turning in his arms, she pressed her face to his neck, breathing in the now familiar scent of him and trying to draw calm through the desire. A mind of its own, her body didn't comply. The trembling became almost violent.\n\nHe ran his hands up and down her arms and kissed her cheek. \"You're cold. I'll start a fire. Hang on a second.\"\n\nHe moved away from her, and it was all she could do to stay on her feet without his support. Tossing his suit coat on a chair, he loosened his tie, threw it aside, and rolled up his sleeves. He knelt in front of a small fireplace facing the foot of the bed and got to work building a fire, then he replaced the grate and disappeared into what she assumed was an adjoining bath to wash his hands.\n\nShe stood there like a nervous teenager, unsure of what to do. This was insane. She wanted him, wanted this, and she couldn't get her body to stop shaking. Her teeth gnashed, chin quivering. She fisted her hands, but that didn't cease the quaking, either.\n\nHe came back and stood in front of her, tenderness in his eyes, and reached up to hold her face. \"It'll warm up in a minute.\"\n\nFinding her voice, she blurted the first thing that came to mind. \"I'm not cold.\"\n\nHe froze halfway to her mouth, hovering inches from her lips. Tension coiled in the space between them, and still, the trembling wouldn't stop. His eyes slammed closed as a muscle worked his jaw. He stayed that way, suspended, as he obviously tried to work something out. A myriad of thoughts must've swirled in his head because his face twisted with too many expressions for her to catch up.\n\nSlowly, he straightened and opened his eyes, gaze blank and pinned to the glass behind her. She didn't know what conclusion he'd reached, but instinct said it wasn't in alignment with what she was thinking. Her stomach twisted into knots when he dropped his hands and backed away.\n\nIn her confusion, he moved to the dresser and pulled out a T-shirt, tossing it on the bed. After staring at it for a second, his chin dropped. \"The bathroom's through there. You can wear the shirt to bed. Just...\"\n\nHe sighed and finally met her gaze, patience and desire and guilt mirrored in his eyes. \"Just please stay. We'll sleep. I'll hold you, nothing more.\"\n\nAnd then she caught on. It took her a while, but she got it. Got him. Followed the dots to his conclusion. If she didn't set him straight, if she didn't make the move, they were never going to discover how explosive they could be together. He had too much honor to push, and she had little experience to guide her. But darn it, this was not how tonight was supposed to go.\n\nHis gaze never left hers. \"Avery?\" Barely whispered, her name was part question, part plea.\n\nForcing herself to move, she went to the bed and picked up the T-shirt, then walked to stand in front of him. His eyes tracked her movements, but he didn't seem to do so much as breathe. She passed him the shirt. He took it automatically, fisting it in his hands.\n\n\"I'm not cold and I'm not scared. Being with you doesn't frighten me, Cade.\" He seemed to need that reassurance, so she drove the point home. \"I'm not scared. I'm nervous. That's all. Just...nervous. I don't have the experience you do, and it's been a long time\u2014\"\n\n\"Avery, sweetheart.\" He dropped the shirt on the floor and hauled her against him, wrapping his arms behind her back. \"Don't you get it?\"\n\nNo, she didn't. But it didn't matter because he crashed his mouth to hers.\n\n# Chapter 18\n\nCade hauled Avery to him and crushed his mouth to hers. Heart pounding, he ran his hands up the smooth skin of her back exposed by the dress and cupped her neck, holding her to him.\n\nI'm not scared. I'm nervous.\n\nThat had been all he'd needed to hear. For a gut-dropping moment, he'd thought she'd put a stop to things. Thought she didn't want what he assumed was an inevitable progression. Didn't want him. He'd never forced himself on a woman, never would, and if he'd had any inkling she wasn't telling the truth, he would've been out the door and in his guest room.\n\nWhich reminded him how he was breaking his rules with Avery. With his previous lovers, if they hadn't done the deed at their place, they'd rarely made it past his living room. On the off chance that happened\u2014and he could count on one hand the number of times that had occurred\u2014they'd wound up in his guest room. Never his bedroom.\n\nAvery was the first. He didn't know why, knew he shouldn't analyze it, but there it was. She was in his bedroom where he'd envisioned her too many times to recant.\n\nAngling his head, he took the kiss deeper, gliding his hands into her hair and pulling the pins from her knot to release the silky brown strands. They fell around her shoulders, skimming her upper back, and he caught the unmistakable scent of her shampoo.\n\nNeed surged, but he kept his pace methodical, and he sensed the moment she let go. When she pressed her body to his, her trembling ceased, the muscles relaxing under his palms.\n\nNever taking his lips from hers, he unbuttoned his shirt and took her hands in his, encouraging her to strip it off, wanting her to have as much control as possible. It was a power play, him undressing first to give her a modicum of reassurance. He could only hope it worked.\n\nShe hesitated a moment, but slid the material from his shoulders, down his arms, where it pooled at their feet. Guiding her hands to his chest, he pressed his palms over her fingers and nudged them down. Her thumbs brushed his nipples and he tore his mouth away to suck in a breath.\n\nHer heavy lids lifted to stare at their joined hands, lips parting with a ragged inhale. On her own, her fingers descended past his pecs, down his abs to the button of his fly. Her knuckles brushed the skin below his naval, ripping a groan from his chest. There was something insanely arousing about her touching him with his hands covering hers. An intimacy, a joining.\n\nThat seemed to be all the encouragement she needed. Though her fingers trembled slightly, she unbuttoned his pants and eased his zipper down, her knuckles dragging along the underside of his straining erection.\n\nHe clenched his jaw to hold himself in check. Tonight was about her, not the end game, but restraint was nearing impossible with the scent of her in his orbit, with her touching him.\n\nShe tugged his pants down to his thighs, briefs along for the ride, and pressed a kiss to his chest. Emotion pinched behind his ribs, tenderness pulling at him from every direction. He kicked the clothing aside and wove his fingers through her hair. The satin from her dress caressed his shaft, silky, soft, and he pulsed against her.\n\nKeeping one hand in her hair, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and stepped backward until the mattress hit his knees. He yanked the comforter and sheets aside, gripped her thighs, and lifted her until she straddled him. Holding her, he leaned against the headboard, sitting her in his lap.\n\nThe position hiked her dress past her thighs, and her gaze met his with a mix of desire and question. With both hands, he traced a path from her knees to her ankles, stopping at the straps of her shoes. He unbuckled the clasps, keeping his gaze locked to hers, and removed her shoes. Another time, he'd ask her to keep them on while he made love to her because those heels invoked more than one fantasy.\n\nHe leaned forward to unfasten her dress and remembered the back was exposed. \"Where's the zipper?\"\n\nShe smiled, warming her brown eyes and igniting the golden flecks. \"On the side.\"\n\nBut before he could do the task himself, she brought her arm across her chest and slid the zipper down. The release of metal teeth mingled with their rapid breaths.\n\nCupping her elbows, he looked into her eyes. \"I've wanted to get you out of this dress since I first saw you in it.\"\n\nHer throat worked a swallow, but her gaze stayed on his, right there with him.\n\nSliding his hands up her arms, he slipped his fingers under the straps and slowly brought them down her slender shoulders. His gaze broke away to watch his movement, wanting to see how he exposed her inch by inch.\n\nThe dress bunched around her waist, baring her perfect breasts to him. She made an involuntary move to cover them, but he gripped her hands and kissed the inside of her wrists, meeting her gaze. \"Beautiful, Avery. Never hide.\"\n\nHe leaned forward and took one rose-tinted nipple into his mouth, and groaned at her immediate response. She fisted her hands in his hair, holding him to her and arching her back, thrusting herself into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the pebbled bud, his erection pulsing when she raked her nails over his scalp.\n\nThat. Damn, he loved that. He went from hard to holy shit in one second flat.\n\nHe moved to the other breast to give it equal attention and figured if he died right now, he'd go out a happy man. She tasted as sweet as she smelled, was as soft as the dress fisted in his hands.\n\nTrailing kisses over her collarbone, he worked his way to her neck and licked the erratic pulse beating just for him. Her head fell back with a moan, and he grinned against her throat, inching her dress past her hips, up her body, and over her head.\n\nOh, hell. Black lace panties. He'd almost be sorry to see those go.\n\nHer gaze met his, desperate, nervous, and her need slammed into him with the force of a wrecking ball. She liked things orderly, done in her own way, and at whatever speed she saw fit. Except when they were together. Like this, she was silently pleading for him to take over.\n\nAnd that worked just fine. He'd give her anything she wanted, would enjoy it, and at the edges of his conscience, he feared that went beyond the bedroom, too.\n\nDidn't matter. He cupped the back of her head and flipped her beneath him. Her chestnut brown waves spread over his pillow, the sight making his chest ache. To relieve the pinch, he kissed her, softly at first until her hands tangled in his hair again and he saw stars.\n\n_Slow down, O'Grady_. She'd gone too long without a man. Taking her would be the equivalent of sinking into a virgin. God, he never wanted to cause her pain. He'd prepare her, get her ready so he wouldn't hurt her. If he could just get his damn body to read his head's memo, things would work out.\n\nHe kissed his way lower. Halfway down her soft, warm body, she called his name and he growled.\n\n\"Yes.\" _Me, not that asshole. Me_.\n\nDipping his tongue in her naval, he tugged her panties down her legs and tossed them over his shoulder. The breath stopped in his chest at finding her bare, just a small triangle of dark curls. So hot, so wet. Gently, he spread her legs and met resistance. She tensed under him and made a sound of protest.\n\nHe looked up and caught her wide gaze, hating the fucking apprehension he found in her eyes and the prick who'd put it there. He stilled, showing her he wouldn't do anything she didn't want him to, and gradually the hesitancy moved out. She bit her lip, clearly still uncertain, and he realized she may not have done this before. That perhaps in her entire short life, no one had thought to meet her needs.\n\nJesus.\n\nHe pressed his cheek to her inner thigh, biting back a sigh. \"Trust me.\" Watching her carefully, he turned his head and kissed the spot where his cheek had just been. \"Trust me.\"\n\nAnother moment passed before she nodded.\n\n\"Watch me, Avery.\" _See me, not him_.\n\nKeeping his gaze locked with hers, he spread her legs and dipped his head, lightly kissing her mound, then her core. She didn't move, but some of the tension uncoiled from the muscles under his hands. He licked a path from her opening to her clit and a gale force wind expelled from her lips.\n\nHer head flew back, her body bowing, breaking the spell. She was his again, in the room with him and not the uncertainty from before.\n\nCupping her bottom, he teased her clit with his tongue, working a fevered mewl from her throat before slipping a finger into her heat. Christ, she was tight. Her muscles clamped around him, urging more, so he inserted another finger and lightly bit her clit.\n\nShe cried out, her voice hoarse. Fisting the sheets at her hips, she chanted his name and, he swore to God, there was no sweeter sound on earth.\n\nBlood roared through his veins. His pulse pounded in his neck. His vision grayed until he forced himself to blink in order to watch her, not willing to miss this for anything.\n\nA few more strokes of his tongue, thrusts with his fingers, and she was there. Her mouth opened in a silent cry, brows drawn together in bliss. She stilled around him a heartbeat before her body quaked. Her pale skin flushed, rosy nipples peaked, breasts rising and falling as she gulped air.\n\nHe eased her down slowly, fighting the need to string her orgasm out, have her crash a second time just so he could watch. But he was too hard, too close to the edge himself.\n\nNext time. Next time, he'd expend more effort giving pleasure to them both. He needed her too much at the moment.\n\nWith her eyes closed, breaths rasping, he crawled up her body and reached into his nightstand for a condom. He rolled the sheath down his length, taking a second to stroke the ache before cupping her jaw.\n\nHe rubbed his thumb over her lower lip, swollen from his kiss and her biting. \"Open your eyes, sweetheart.\"\n\n* * * *\n\nAt his quiet command, Avery opened her eyes to his storm-tossed blue gaze looking intently down at her. Her body was still trembling in the aftershocks, the apex of her thighs pulsing.\n\nNo one had ever gone down on her before. Richard had been her only lover, and he didn't like oral. Once, he'd told her men didn't like the act. It was just something they did out of necessity.\n\nBut Cade hadn't made it seem like a hardship. He'd acted as if he'd wanted to, as if it pleasured him as much as it did her. And oh, pleasure her he had. Whatever nervousness she'd been feeling was gone, replaced with need and satisfaction. She stretched her languid muscles.\n\nCade shifted over her, settling his welcome weight between her thighs and crushing her breasts with his chest. The light dusting of his blond hair rubbed against her aching nipples, sending tingles through her, lighting her need anew.\n\n\"There you are,\" he whispered as if she'd gone somewhere else. As if that was even possible.\n\n\"Never left.\" She smiled and brushed her fingertips over the shadow on his jaw.\n\nHe swallowed, eyes darkening. A tiny wrinkle formed between his brows like he was trying to figure something out, but his features smoothed before she could question it.\n\nWithout taking his gaze from hers, he aligned his hips and reached between them to guide himself to her opening. His tip pushed against her, into her, and he stilled, staying just past the precipice of entering, waiting for permission.\n\nSince she'd been dying to explore him, she ran her hands over the knotted muscles of his shoulders, down his sculpted biceps. His lids lowered as if liking what she was doing. Directing her perusal to his pecs, she grazed his nipples with her thumbs, earning a sharp exhale from him before moving her hands lower, reveling in each indentation of his defined abs.\n\nWow, his body was really gorgeous. Corded and beautiful without the bodybuilder bulge. A delicious combination of hard and soft. She skimmed her fingers up his sides, around his back, and leaned in to kiss his throat.\n\nHe'd held still in her exploration, strain shadowing his face, and she had a suspicion he was nearing a breaking point. Wanting him inside her, she wrapped her legs around his waist, nudging him a little deeper.\n\nHe inhaled, hard, and closed his eyes, brows twisted as if in a painful-pleasure state of his own paradise. \"Avery.\" He kissed her forehead, her lips.\n\nEasing his hips forward, he pushed deeper, going so slow she could feel every ridge of him against her sensitive walls. He was thick and long, yet not too big for her to accept. Because it had been a while, the stretch was a noticeable pressure, but there was no pain.\n\nWhen she was full, so full, he stopped, completely rooted. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and wrapped her arms around his back, loving the shift of hard muscle under his skin.\n\nHe sighed against her lips, breath hot, body straining as he held himself motionless over her. \"God, Avery. I can't...\"\n\nShe hadn't been expecting tenderness, for desire to blend with sweet. The punch of her heart inside her chest was jarring. Her throat tightened, and she knew she'd underestimated this moment in her mind. There could be no casual with Cade, no simple act of fun and moving on. Somehow, she'd gotten invested. Not so deep she couldn't claw her way back out, but the cavern was there, calling from the depths.\n\nHe dropped his head and pressed his face into her neck. \"I can't...\" he said again, but she knew. She understood.\n\n\"Then don't wait.\"\n\nAs if that was all the permission he needed, he pulled out and thrust back inside, still so gentle, so careful. Remembering he liked her hands in his hair, she skimmed her fingers up his back and into his hair, fisting the strands.\n\nHe let out a low, guttural groan that rattled his chest. His breathing quickened, panting against her neck. Grabbing her thigh, he brought it higher on his hip, shifting the angle of his thrusts to go deeper, hitting her in a spot that made her eyes roll back in her skull. His other arm skated under her, lifting her hips.\n\nHe moved in earnest, their skin gliding against one another, their heartbeats pounding in unison. Her body hummed as she met him with every plunge. He held her tight, as if separating, as if allowing so much as air between them, would break the spell. They moved as a unit, as if they'd done this dance before, both new and old sensations taking hold.\n\nThey fit. Just...fit.\n\nA sharp tingle low in her spine was the only warning an orgasm loomed. The shock of it, the sheer improbability, nearly had her losing focus. She never came during sex. Never. She grasped at the thin tether, holding on. Fighting.\n\n\"Let go, sweetheart.\" He lifted his head, bringing his mouth to hers and crushing her in a kiss of pure annihilation. His tongue stroked, matching the thrusting of his hips. \"Let go,\" he said again, this time spoken through a groan as he dropped his forehead to hers. \"Come with me.\"\n\nNot _for me_ , but _with me_. Together. He wanted them to fall together.\n\nEven that one simple thing, a statement he probably didn't even realize the meaning for, demonstrated how different he was from anything she'd ever known. It wasn't about him or her, but them. He was selfless and giving. There was no defense against him.\n\n\"Avery, sweetheart.\" His tight, barely controlled voice filled her head.\n\nAnd the fight fled, becoming irrelevant as sensations took hold. The tight ball of need exploded. She shook in his arms. Grabbed his shoulders. Arched. Found oblivion.\n\nDied? Maybe. She couldn't tell.\n\nA primal noise, part scream, all male, emitted from his lips as he grew rigid. He pumped twice more and stilled, pulsing inside her as he released.\n\nBefore the effect wore off, before he was even finished, his handsome face twisted in wonder and determination in the tailspin of his orgasm. His blue gaze collided with hers. Accusing, accepting. There and gone in a flash.\n\nHe collapsed onto her and she held him as their breathing soughed, both of them fighting for air. After a moment, when they'd caught their wind, he raised onto his forearms and pressed his face between her breasts as if unable to look at her.\n\nHe stayed that way so long worry fluttered in her belly. \"Cade?\"\n\nHead down, he pulled out and rose from the bed, never meeting her gaze. \"I'll be right back.\"\n\nThen he went into the adjoining bathroom and shut the door.\n\n# Chapter 19\n\nCade tossed the condom in the bathroom trash and ran the faucet. Cold. Splashing water on his face, he looked at his reflection in the mirror, gritted his teeth, and threw more water on his cheeks.\n\nHe gripped the counter and leaned into his hands, forcing his lungs to take air before the black edging his vision had a chance to consume.\n\nDamn Drake and his cryptic shit. Spouting nonsense about puppy love and...well, crap. That's what this was. A panic attack brought on by his brother. The frantic, erratic beat of his heart and the vise around his throat had nothing to do with Avery and the fantastic, mind-blowing, holy shit sex they'd just had.\n\nSex that didn't feel like sex at all. Thus his panic. Brought on by his brother.\n\nOr not.\n\nIt had never been like that before. Sex was a physical, extremely enjoyable act. But that's all it was. Physical. There had never been any kind of emotional element. Never. He enjoyed sex, enjoyed women. He could sense their needs and desires and be anything they needed him to be, in any position, at any random time. He got his jollies and moved on.\n\nExcept what had just gone down in there was no act. Her needs before his own was paramount, making her comfortable with him a given. But afterward, when she'd relented to her hunger, he'd...relented something else. Like a chunk of himself. He didn't think, didn't need to. He'd just...felt. And lost himself. In her.\n\nHe blew out a long, unsteady breath. Okay, he'd known Avery was different. Check. He'd gotten to know her better than other lovers before hopping into bed. Check. There'd been an insane amount of buildup and foreplay in the previous weeks. Check. He'd had to work damn hard to get her to trust him and herself before ever getting to this stage. Check.\n\nThose things were rational. Explainable.\n\nHe was fine. Perfectly fine.\n\nYeah, he so wasn't. But he couldn't stay in his damn bathroom all night figuring it out and losing his shit in the process.\n\nStraightening, he splashed another stream of cold water on his face, toweled off, and avoided his reflection on his way to the door.\n\nWhen he emerged, Avery was on her knees on the floor, the bed sheet wrapped around her middle and her sweet round ass in the air as she looked under his bed.\n\nHe stopped and eyed her, not liking the tension building in his gut. But hell, she was such a sight if he ever saw one. Her hair was a tangled, wavy mess around her head, her cheeks were crimson, and her lips still swollen from his kiss. Her perfect breasts were playing peek-a-boo with the sheet and she looked adorable crawling around.\n\nSpeaking of...\"What are you doing?\"\n\nShe jerked up and blew a wayward strand of hair out of her face. \"I can't find my panties.\" Her hold on the sheet tightened. \"Or my other shoe. My extra set of clothes are in the car, and I can't go get them like this.\"\n\nBecause he had the violent urge to grip her by the shoulders and give her a firm shake, he leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms. \"Why do you need your extra clothes?\"\n\nOh, he knew. He wasn't an idiot, contrary to what his brothers seemed to think. But he'd be damned if he'd make this easy on her. He'd eaten the distance, had met her more than halfway, and she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Metaphorically speaking.\n\n\"To go home,\" she said slowly as if talking to a small child. \"I guess I could just put the dress back on,\" she mumbled to herself.\n\nEven that was adorable, which pissed him off to the point of no return. \"I said I'd be right back. What happened in the two minutes I was in the bathroom to make you bolt?\"\n\nShe sat on her haunches, confusion in her eyes, frustration wrinkling her brow. \"Fifteen minutes. You were in there fifteen minutes. I may not have your experience, but I can take a hint.\"\n\n\"I wasn't issuing any hints. I was...\" Freaking out. He sighed.\n\n\"Flipping out,\" she said, reading his mind. She went back to crawling around the floor. \"Look, I get it. No hard feelings.\"\n\n\"No hard...\" He pinched the bridge of his nose. \"You were in that bed, too. You were into it.\" _Into me_.\n\nIt was as if she hadn't heard him. Her head ducked under the bed. \"I warned you I wouldn't be any good. A husband doesn't cheat unless...\" She emerged with her shoe. \"There it is.\"\n\nHe remained where he was because if he moved he just might go postal. How many damn times did her ex need to whittle his way between them? \"Now who's freaking out?\"\n\n\"Cade.\" She sighed a weary moan and rested her head on the mattress, still on her knees. \"I'm sorry it sucked.\"\n\n\"Were you even in the same room?\" Yeah. Zero to postal. \"Whatever has you hunting for your clothes has nothing to do with you sucking and everything to do with the crap he put in your head. And you didn't. Suck, I mean.\"\n\nThere were many, many adjectives to attribute to what they'd done together, but suck wasn't even in the vicinity. In fact, he was pretty sure Webster hadn't invented nearly half the words coming to mind.\n\n\"Then why did you hide in the bathroom?\"\n\n\"I wasn't hiding.\" Much.\n\nHer brows hit her hairline, sardonic disbelief twisting her mouth.\n\nShe shook her head and grabbed her panties off the bed. With some kind of crazy female maneuver, she managed to step into them while maintaining a hold on the bed sheet. As if he hadn't just seen her naked, hadn't kissed every inch of her sweet, soft skin.\n\nPanic shoved at his chest. He crossed the room, tore the sheet out of her grasp, lifted her in his arms, and dropped her on the bed. Before she stopped bouncing, he crawled in after her and covered them with the blanket.\n\nShe turned on her side to face him, but blessedly made no attempt to leave.\n\nHe took in her mortified expression, the one she was obviously trying so damn hard to keep neutral, and struggled to find the right words. She could get him so rattled at the drop of a hat, he wound up eating crow more times than not.\n\nHe tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger by her jaw. \"It takes two people to have sex. If one of them isn't into it, isn't open to the experience or isn't willing to give as much pleasure as they're getting, then it will suck. You were right here with me, Avery. _We_ didn't suck.\" He swallowed hard. \"And when a man cheats on a woman, that's _his_ insecurity showing.\"\n\nShe wedged her hand under her cheek and stared at him. Her gaze softened, slipping back into the tender woman who he'd begun the night with and not the insecure person her ex had made of her. He was almost certain she didn't believe that dick's crap anymore, if she ever had. She was too strong in that regard. Yet he suspected no one had done anything to build up her confidence, either. The balance was askew.\n\nHer teeth sank into her lower lip and released. \"What happened in the bathroom?\"\n\n\"I threw out the condom and splashed cold water on my face.\" Went a little batshit and had an internal pep talk. He closed his eyes for a moment. She'd been nothing but honest with him and deserved to know the lack of post-coital glow wasn't on her.\n\nHe traced his thumb across her lip. \"I care about you. Sex has never been particularly emotional for me. I just needed a minute to get my head together. That's all.\" And if he could do it over differently, he would, if for no other reason than it made him sick he was another person to put doubt in her mind.\n\n\"This was just supposed to be fun.\" Concern showed in her eyes, but behind that he could've sworn there was hope.\n\nHe settled on humor as he didn't think either of them were ready for anything heavier. \"I don't know about you, but I'm having fun.\"\n\nA lazy smile curved her mouth. She brought her hand up to push away a strand of hair from his forehead, the move more maternal than sexual. \"Me, too.\"\n\nHe shifted his pillow a little closer to hers so that they were sharing air. \"Your marriage wasn't all bad, was it?\" Irritation and something he couldn't name battled in his gut. Empathy maybe. He didn't know. But the idea of her spending ten years with a man who didn't care enough about her to hold on to a good thing didn't sit well.\n\nHer smile fell a fraction. \"No, there were a lot of good things. We weren't big into anniversaries or Christmas presents, but he always remembered my birthday. We met on campus on my birthday, and he would send a bouquet of flowers to the house every year.\"\n\nFlowers weren't a gift. They were an accessory. And what kind of man wouldn't want to celebrate the day he got married?\n\nHe kept his thoughts to himself, though, as her expression drifted into memory. The moonlight streamed through the window at her back, casting her face mostly in shadow, but her scent mingled with his and settled his mood.\n\nHer gaze flickered to his. \"Richard was under a lot of pressure from his family even when we met. Rich relatives, big law firm. On paper, we fit. My mom was pretty flighty growing up. She loved me, does love me, but she's a dreamer. I saw in Richard the stability I'd been missing. At first, the friendship was enough to make up for the lack of chemistry. By the time we got married, it was like it was too late to back out. In time, his family changed him, made him cynical.\"\n\nShe sighed. \"I know Richard cheating wasn't my fault. But in a way, I can't blame him, either. Neither of us got to experience being young or carefree.\" Her gaze took in his face like she was comparing again. \"I guess I resorted back into the mind frame when you didn't say anything, when you...collected yourself in the bathroom.\"\n\nWhat she said gave Cade a clearer understanding of the dynamics, but it didn't change his view an iota. The guy still didn't appreciate or recognize a good thing when he had it. The prick's loss, Cade's gain.\n\nShe'd never once used the term \"love\" when it came to her ex, and by her explanation of the marriage, love had never come into play. For either side. He thought about his own romantic encounters. Love had never blindsided him, but he wasn't immune. No one was.\n\nDrake's words floated back to him, and he had to question whether his brother was right. His feelings for Avery, or the fact he had any at all, were unlike anything he'd come in contact with before. And what did it matter? Weeks ago, she'd told him she'd never lose herself in a relationship again.\n\nHe almost laughed. Denial aside, they were very much in a relationship.\n\nWrapping his arm around her waist, he tugged her closer, crushing her to his chest. He slid her panties down her legs and threw them over her shoulder. Then he settled on his back and drew her to his side, encouraging her to rest her cheek in the crook of his shoulder.\n\n\"Are you going to sleep?\" Her warm breath fanned his skin.\n\nWith his eyes closed, he smiled. \"Yep.\"\n\n\"Why did you take my panties off?\"\n\nHis grin widened against her temple. \"I'll demonstrate in a couple of hours after we recuperate.\"\n\nShe paused. He could all but hear the wheels turning in her head. Finally, she draped an arm over his chest and yawned. \"Promises, promises.\"\n\nHe laughed and kissed her hair. \"Oh, sweetheart. Challenge accepted.\"\n\nWhen Cade next opened his eyes, a muted dawn was peeking through the window, and he was spooning a warm, soft female. Avery had his hand tucked into hers, clasped against her breasts, her breathing deep and even. His thigh was wedged between her legs, his happiness to see her poking into her backside.\n\nTaking stock of the situation, he decided this sleeping with a woman thing wasn't half bad. The actual sleeping. Waking up to her scent and supple warmth could be quite addicting. Honestly, everything about Avery was an addiction.\n\nShe was all curves and no edges. He liked that, liked she wasn't a thin rail with nothing to hold on to. Both her body and her heart were giving, pliant\u2014a direct contrast to a lot of women he'd been with. She wasn't perfection, he wouldn't want that, but even her flaws were cute, making her...perfect _for him_. Hell.\n\nHe bent his head and kissed the curve of her shoulder where tiny freckles sprinkled her pale skin. In the darkness last night, he hadn't been able to take all of her in. This morning, he'd make up for that. Burying his face in her hair, he inhaled, unable to resist. She smelled so damn good.\n\nShe began to stir, arching her back and emitting the sexiest little moan. Her long, dark lashes fluttered open and she turned her head, offering a sleepy smile. \"Morning. What time is it?\"\n\n\"Early.\" He looked over his shoulder at the alarm clock. \"Not quite six.\" He pressed his face into her neck and licked her pulse, smiling when it kicked harder with his attention. \"I believe I promised you something last night. Remind me what that was again.\"\n\nShe brought her arm up and behind her to sink her fingers in his hair. \"I think it had something to do with missing panties.\"\n\nHis dick jumped. He swore to all that was holy, if she never took her fingers from his hair, he'd be a contented man. \"It's coming back to me now.\"\n\nHe cupped her breast, settling the small weight in his hand and brushing his thumb over the nipple. She inhaled sharply, pressing her bottom in much closer proximity to his straining erection. Her nails raked his scalp.\n\nThat was the other thing. She was so responsive. Whether it was his pathetic attempt at humor, the endless array of questions he asked, or her body to his touch. Didn't matter the scenario, she responded. He thrust against her, earning another moan. Like that. Action, reaction.\n\nSexy. As. Hell.\n\nBefore he completely lost his mind, he reached behind him into the nightstand and pulled out a condom, ripping it open with his teeth. Once protection was in place, he pressed his hand to her belly, reveling in the quiver beneath his palm.\n\nHe licked the shell of her ear. \"Place your hand over mine.\"\n\nShe did as he asked without issue, threading her fingers through his. He brought their joined hands lower, over her mound and between her folds. He groaned at how wet she was for him. Her head fell back as he spread her and dipped a finger inside. The motion was even more intimate with both their hands entwined as if they were stoking her pleasure together. He used his thumb to circle her clit and she bucked into his hand, emitting the hottest mewl from her throat.\n\nLast night, she hadn't made much noise. Aside from a gasp or moan, she came quietly. He wondered if that was restraint on her part or just her sexual makeup. \"You like that?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" she breathed, writhing under his hand.\n\nShe was more than ready for him, and he was throbbing. Withdrawing his hand from her heat, he aligned himself and, from behind, slowly sank into her. He slammed his eyes shut and waited a beat for her to adjust. And damn, she was so tight in this position breathing was impossible.\n\nWhen he could hold out no longer, he grabbed her thigh to lift it for a better angle and thrust. She cried out and buried her face in the pillow as if to smother the sound. He secured her leg in position with his own and cupped her cheek, finding it crimson. With embarrassment or desire, he wasn't sure.\n\n\"Don't hide from me. And be as loud as you want. We're alone.\" He didn't give her time to react. He thrust again, her inner walls like a glove milking his shaft. So hot, so tight. Perfection.\n\nHer head whipped back, exposing her throat. \"I don't... I'm not usually noisy. I'm sorry.\"\n\n\"Why the hell would you apologize for that? Let me hear you, sweetheart.\"\n\nAll she'd managed to do with her broken admission was prove she'd never been made love to properly. He was more than game for making it up to her. Repeatedly. He quickened his hips, pumping harder.\n\nBrushing her hair aside, he latched his mouth onto her neck and nipped. Thrusting furiously, he licked the sting away.\n\nA strangled moan tore from her again, and he knew she was close. He wouldn't hold out much longer, either. Sliding his hand between her legs, he circled her clit, working her into a fever.\n\nShe pressed back into him, tensing against his chest, her mouth open in a silent scream. Her hand fisted the sheet as her walls clenched him so tight he came undone. A tingle tracked from his lower back straight to his balls as she quaked in his arms.\n\nHe dropped his forehead to her neck, releasing hard and fast, until every last ounce of him had been wrenched dry.\n\nHe held her through the last of her aftershocks, depleted but determined to do better this morning than he had last night. The onslaught of foreign emotion was no different in the light of day. His chest cracked wide open and his throat seized. A painful, gratifying ache ripped through his gut and welled behind his lids, but he forced himself to breathe through it and figure out the cause later.\n\nWhen she went limp, he pulled out and dropped the condom in the bedside trash before rolling over and dragging her on top of him. Their arms and limbs tangled. Her hair spread over his chest, her breath warm and uneven on his skin where she rested her cheek. He wrapped his arms around her back, slipping one hand into her hair to hold her to him.\n\nHell. Better than any blanket.\n\n# Chapter 20\n\nAvery finger-combed her hair into what she hoped was submission, a little embarrassed she'd fallen back asleep. Especially since she woke up to find the bed beside her empty.\n\nAfter she used the bathroom, she shrugged into the T-shirt Cade had offered last night and followed the scent of bacon and coffee downstairs. She stopped short in the kitchen doorway at the sight of him in a loose pair of sweat pants low on his hips and nothing else. His back to her, he was frying bacon in a skillet at the stove. The shifting muscles in his back was a thing of beauty. His blond hair stood at odd angles, total bed head and rocking it. And him barefoot? In the kitchen?\n\nCrap on a cracker.\n\nThe dogs were sitting by his feet, tails wagging in a silent plea for food. Cade was having a conversation with them that entailed him saying \"bacon\" and the dogs tilting their heads, butts squirming in answer. The kitten was perched on his shoulder.\n\nGod. Clenching her thighs, she watched him another moment before the need for caffeine became astronomically pivotal.\n\nHe turned and grinned, his gaze sweeping down the length of her. His smile went from affectionate to predatory. Absently, he took Cutin from her perch and set her carefully on the floor, gaze trained on Avery. \"I like the look of you first thing in the morning.\"\n\nReally? She ran a hand through her hair. \"Animal Kingdom? I can see the appeal.\"\n\nHe laughed. Moving away from the stove, he walked over and set his hands on her waist, lifting her onto the island as if she weighed nothing. \"I'm instilling a new rule. If you're not naked, you can only wear my shirt.\"\n\nShe smiled as he stepped between her legs and wrapped his arms around her. \"That will go over real well at the clinic.\"\n\nPressing a kiss to her neck, he groaned. \"That reminds me of another fantasy.\" He licked her pulse and moved to the other side, nipping his way to her ear.\n\nGod, he was good at the nuzzling. Her nerves were on fire. Need zinged from where his mouth worked her over to straight between her thighs. No passing Go.\n\n\"What would it take to get you to call me Dr. Cade outside of work? Not all the time, mind you. Just once in a while. Something like, 'Oh, Dr. Cade, right there! Yes, that's so good.'\"\n\nWrapping her arms around his neck, she laughed until her cheeks hurt. \"Can I wear the white lab coat?\"\n\nHe groaned again, a deep rumble. \"Hell yes.\"\n\n\"I say the odds are good then.\"\n\n\"Definitely will remember that.\" He leaned back and kissed her forehead before stepping away. \"Do you like bacon?\" Back at the stove, he transferred the pieces to a plate to drain.\n\nShe reeled, the loss of his heat and arms a sudden vacancy. \"Are there people in existence who don't?\"\n\nHe laughed. \"None I'd want to know.\"\n\n\"Agreed.\" Her gaze drifted out the patio doors, where a thick fog blanketed the damp grass. The sun was trying to unsuccessfully break through the cloud cover. At least a lot of the snow had melted with the milder temperatures the past few days, but spring was a ways off yet.\n\nHe poured a cup of coffee and brought it over to her, holding it out of reach. \"Kiss and then coffee.\"\n\nBlackmail of the lowest form. Not that she minded.\n\nHe grazed her lips with his, gently at first, but it quickly gained momentum. Increasing the pressure, he opened and stroked her tongue, lazy, seductive. She melted and wrapped her legs around his waist.\n\n\"Nimble minx.\" He took her coffee to the table, picked her up again, and deposited her in a chair. \"We'll finish that thought after breakfast. Some brunette drained all my energy last night. And this morning. I need sustenance.\"\n\n\"Complain, complain.\"\n\nHe leaned close, brushed her nose with his, and busted out his panty-melting grin. \"Oh, sweetheart. Not even in the slightest.\"\n\nWhen his back was turned, she smiled at the easiness in being with him. Good conversation, humor, explosive in bed. He was good with Hailey and animals, cared about his family, and his attention to detail was staggering.\n\nIf she wasn't careful, she might break her rule of never getting involved again. She'd instilled it for a reason, good reasons, but Cade was slowly, increment by increment, wearing those rationales down to dust. Unsure what to think, or even if she should overanalyze what was intended to be simple, she sipped her coffee.\n\nHe brought the plate of bacon and a bowl of scrambled eggs to the table before digging into the fridge and removing a container of melon.\n\nHer gaze locked on the drawings tacked to the fridge she hadn't noticed before. Hailey's drawings. The ones from her app he'd printed for Avery's fridge, too.\n\nGod. He...crap. He'd put her daughter's pictures on his own fridge. She swallowed hard, torn between the urge to wrap her arms around him and the need to distance herself from the emotions swirling.\n\nSetting down two forks and plates, he took his seat next to her.\n\nShe shook her head to clear it.\n\nRichard had never cooked for her, even something as simple as scrambled eggs. They'd never made love in the morning or enjoyed breakfast while half dressed. Looking back on the past decade with an eagle eye, she realized it had been more a marriage of convenience than one of mutual love.\n\nShe hadn't been with Cade long, and she wasn't sure she could even deem what they were doing as dating, but the differences kept hitting her like a blow. Hard. His compassion to Richard's indifference. Cade's humor to Richard's sarcasm. Cade's attention and affection to Richard's disregard.\n\nWas this what it was like to matter to someone? Was her time with Cade and how they spent it normal? She swallowed with difficulty, wondering if she'd even recognize a regular relationship if it smacked her in the forehead.\n\nHe loaded eggs on her plate, looked up at her, and did a double take. \"Avery?\"\n\nThe concern in his blue eyes forced her to smile and shake her head. \"I thought you only cooked microwave popcorn or mac and cheese.\" She dug in, even though her appetite waned.\n\nMotionless for a moment, his gaze roamed her face as if trying to spot the lie. \"I have other basic culinary skills.\" He dished eggs and melon onto his plate, closed his eyes, and sighed. His brows creased in frustration before he lifted his lids to pin her with a wary look bordering on helplessness. \"One of these days, you'll be comfortable enough to tell me where your mind drifts off to. I can't stand not knowing what I did to cause such deep contemplation.\"\n\nDamn. How could he think he'd done anything wrong? And the way he made it sound implied they were long-term.\n\nMaybe she needed to be clear with him. Out of self-preservation and habit, she'd been holding a chunk of herself back. Openness wasn't something she was accustomed to, and for years she'd buried her thoughts and desires because the person she'd been with hadn't wanted to know them, hadn't cared.\n\nAfter they'd made love last night, Cade had claimed to care about her, that the experience had been emotional for him. It wasn't in his moral code to lie or mislead, which left her with more questions than answers about what they were doing. But if they were to keep at it\u2014and did she want to?\u2014then she had to make him understand he wasn't the one not functioning at capacity.\n\n\"Eat, sweetheart.\" Gaze trained on his plate, he shoveled eggs into his mouth with what seemed like effort.\n\nShe managed the bacon and took a bite of melon, forcing a swallow. \"If I told you it's me, not you, would you believe me?\"\n\nHe didn't so much as turn his head. \"No.\"\n\nShe rubbed her forehead. \"When we're together, you...\"\n\nHis body went rigid. \"I what?\"\n\nGod. She blew out an unsteady breath. \"You're...not what I was expecting, I guess. You're different than\u2014\"\n\nHis fork clattered to his plate. He glared at her with a look of pure pissed off male. \"Is that what this is about? Him?\" He turned to face her. \"I've got news for you, Avery. If you're waiting around for me to start acting like your dick of an ex, it's never going to happen.\"\n\n\"That's not what I\u2014\"\n\n\"At some point, you need to look at me and not see him.\" His voice steadily rose. \"I don't know if you feel the need to torture yourself out of some twisted form of guilt or if you think he's all you deserve, but I'm not going to do a one-eighty. I refuse to treat you like you don't matter.\" He stood and walked his plate to the sink, spine stiff and mood posting back off warnings.\n\n\"Cade...\"\n\nHe ran his hands through his hair and took more than a few ragged breaths before dropping his chin. He stood that way, back to her as if attempting to rein in his temper and get a hold of himself, while she could do little more than bite her lip trying to keep tears at bay. Not because he'd yelled at her and not because of the sudden distance between them, but because he was right.\n\nShe twisted her fingers together in her lap. \"I don't compare you and him to make you angry or to make you feel inferior.\" He didn't move, and her stomach cramped in dread. \"He's all I've ever known. So yes, I measure you against each other, to remind myself how different you are from him.\" She sighed and rubbed her forehead. \"Every other second you surprise me with a sweet phrase or a kind gesture or...\"\n\nThere was no point in explaining. He wouldn't understand. He didn't get that he was so much better a man than Richard could ever hope to be, and by her comparing, it forced her to allow their relationship to expand. Otherwise she'd never move past the hurt to see the good.\n\n\"Is that the truth?\"\n\nHer gaze landed on his tense back, and she wished so much she could rewind the past ten minutes and start this conversation over. \"Yes.\"\n\nHe was silent another moment, but she thought some of the stress left his shoulders. He turned and leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his bare chest.\n\n\"I don't want fun.\" His voice came out hoarse and quiet, but his words were a scream in her ears. \"You said you'd never let anyone break you like that again. I don't want to break you. I want to date you.\"\n\nDamn it. Tears welled in her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but it was fruitless. They fell, tracking hot paths down her cheeks. Her throat closed, but she refused to look away, refused to hide from his honesty.\n\nFor a moment, she thought he might cross the room, his expression was that tormented, but he only gripped the counter behind him until his knuckles turned white.\n\n\"You've been in Redwood Ridge long enough to know my reputation.\" He held her gaze, a determined set to his jaw. \"Ask me why a playboy like me is suddenly changing his tune.\"\n\nShaking, she wiped the wetness from her face with the back of her hands and crossed her arms. Unable to speak, she stared at him and shook her head, at a loss. The fact his admission had her in tears was answer enough in her book. She'd not shed one tear when her marriage ended. She suspected she felt way more intensely about Cade than she ever did her ex, which said a lot about her. And none of it good.\n\nHer heart beat double-time when he crossed the room and claimed the chair in front of her. He dropped his forearms on his thighs and leaned forward, dipping his head to look directly in her eyes. In her personal space, but not touching. The sympathy, the understanding in his gaze, brought a fresh wave of tears.\n\nHis throat worked a swallow, gaze suddenly unsure. \"None of my previous lovers made me want more.\" He offered a slight shake of his head, but it seemed unintentional, a battle waging in his mind. \"More time, more mornings like this or nights like last night. Just...more.\"\n\nStraightening, he cupped her cheeks with his warm, rough hands. \"Give me more. That's all I ask. A chance to figure this out and where it might go.\" His voice was pleading, but insistent. Determined. His blue gaze was kind, not a hint of the mischief or hunger she was used to finding.\n\nShe'd been weak with Richard. And though she told herself not to be weak in this moment, the truth was, Cade only made her stronger. For once, why not let herself feel good? She'd never find true happiness if she based every experience on the past.\n\nSniffing, she whispered, \"Okay.\"\n\nHis chin lifted in defiance. Or disbelief. \"Okay?\"\n\nShe dragged in a breath and smiled. \"Yes.\"\n\nHis eyes narrowed as he swiped the remnants of tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. \"That was almost too easy. And by almost, I mean you really know how to drag me across hot coals.\"\n\nBreathing out a laugh, she placed her hands over his, still cradling her face. \"There will be rules, though.\"\n\nHe groaned and closed his eyes, but he was smiling when he opened them. \"I knew it. Lay 'em on me. What are these...rules?\" His hands dropped to his lap and he gave a mock shudder.\n\nHailey had to come first. There was no one more important than her daughter. \"No sleepovers when Hailey's in the house. It might confuse her or give her the wrong impression. She's adjusted well to the move, but she needs a routine.\" Her daughter was already attached to him. If she got the impression they were a couple, Hailey might never recover from another uproot in her life.\n\nHe tilted his head in agreement. \"Not a problem. What else?\"\n\n\"No PDAs at work.\"\n\nFor this, his mouth twisted. \"Can I still sneak you off into a hallway and steal kisses?\"\n\nCheeks hot, stomach fluttering, she bit her lip. \"Yes.\"\n\n\"Then, I agree. Next.\" It was cute when he tried to maintain a serious face. He failed miserably, but his attempt was crushing her resolve.\n\n\"I'm not ready for the whole town to know about us.\" She loved the small community and the sense of home since moving here, but she needed privacy, space to breathe. At least for a little while longer.\n\n\"Are you ashamed to be with me?\" His tone was light, but something in his eyes told her the question wasn't all games.\n\n\"No, of course not. I'd rather take the time to see what happens before we go broadcasting things.\"\n\nHe scratched his jaw, bristled with morning whiskers. \"I don't know how to tell you this, but everyone knows about us. You can't hide anything around here.\"\n\nThat was one message she'd received loud and clear her first day. But there was a difference between rumor and truth. \"I'm more comfortable with it being gossip for now.\"\n\nA weary sigh fell from his lips. \"You're not my dirty little secret, and I won't treat you like one. But fine. Mum's the word.\" His gaze swept over her face. \"Anything else? Do I need to bark at the moon if I want to hold your hand or throw smoke signals if I want to see you?\"\n\nGod, he was a charmer. She was sunk. \"Nope.\"\n\n\"Excellent. I'm going to kiss you now, yeah?\"\n\nSunk deep. She even loved it when he did that, threw the word 'yeah' after a statement as if turning it into permission.\n\nHe didn't say anything more, just cupped her neck and pulled her to him. She went willingly, laying her hands on his shoulders and slanting her lips over his. The kiss wasn't seductive or infused with heat. He explored her mouth as if telling a story, their story, full of tenderness and longing and affection.\n\nBy the time he pulled away, she was shaking with unresolved apprehension for how much he could invoke inside her. He was the tingle down her spine, a pressure in her chest, a flutter in her belly, a force in her head. Everywhere, at once. Consuming and devouring. Eradicating and destructive.\n\nHe kissed her temple, his lips lingering as his jaw stroked her cheek. \"When do you have to pick up Hailey?\"\n\nShe blinked at the invasion and cleared her throat. \"Ten o'clock.\"\n\nHe glanced over his shoulder to the wall clock. \"Not much time. What are you two doing later?\"\n\nSuspicion mounted. \"Laundry.\"\n\nHe grunted. \"Can I convince you to do something more fun?\"\n\nNeeding some space, as they didn't have time to go at each other before she had to get Hailey, Avery collected her plate and brought it to the sink. \"Laundry can be fun.\"\n\nHe made a sound of dismissal. \"Do tell.\"\n\nWith her back to him, she grinned and rinsed off her plate. She wasn't flirty by nature, but he brought out her lighter side, the part that liked the teasing banter sometimes between them. \"For starters, it means I'll be wearing my nightgown while I wash and fold. Without panties. Seems to me that might be easy access if\u2014\"\n\nHe was behind her with his arms banding her waist and mouth on her neck before she could so much as laugh. \"I nominate laundry day every day. Twice on Sundays.\"\n\nShe laid her head back, the smile slipping as he worked his tongue and teeth over the sensitive spot on her neck. A tremble tore through her. Her legs gave out, but he caught her against his hard body.\n\n\"Hell.\" He lifted his head. Kissed her hair. \"We don't have time.\" Turning her in his arms, he caged her against the counter. \"I'd like to take you and Hailey somewhere this afternoon. A surprise,\" he amended before she could ask. \"But we most definitely have to do laundry afterward. Many loads. I insist.\"\n\nHow he could take her from powerful, raging lust to laughing in the course of seconds she'd never know. \"You insist? I guess I can't argue with that.\"\n\n# Chapter 21\n\nCade sucked in a cold blast of fresh air and glanced around the snow-covered hill. To the west was the steep incline of the Klamouth Mountains. To the east was the Pacific Ocean, which wasn't visible from their location, but the air was brine-scented and the crash of waves wasn't far off in the distance, reminding people it was there.\n\nThis was the perfect day weather-wise for their trip. The sky was a light gray overcast, so the reflection from the sun off the snow wouldn't be blinding and the temperature was in the lower thirties with heavy humidity.\n\nHis surprise was to drive Avery and Hailey an hour up the mountain to this sweet spot known mostly to the locals. The snow in Redwood Ridge had mostly melted, but up here this far north and seated next to the mountain there was powder aplenty. An inn catered to tourists was on the other side of the ridge, but this area was tucked away, semiprivate.\n\nKids were sledding the bunny slope at breakneck speed, and a shock of nostalgia hit him in the gut. \"My dad used to bring me and my brothers here as boys. I haven't been up this way in years.\"\n\nHe remembered his dad, grinning while watching him and his brothers play, biding his time to nail them with the perfect snowball. He'd laugh in that rough, rustic way of his and grab his stomach.\n\nJesus, he missed him so damn bad. Nine years and the sudden assault of memories still hurt realizing Dad was really gone.\n\nAvery smiled, cheeks pink from the wind. \"How many broken bones came afterward? I typically don't participate in activities requiring an ambulance.\"\n\nHe laughed. \"Such a mom thing to say.\"\n\nPeople were off to the side near the crest of pines where a flat area held a hot cocoa stand and some tables. Taking advantage of the wet snow, many were building forts and snowmen.\n\nHe watched the families for a moment, struck by how deeply he wanted his own family one day. Content to enjoy things as they were, he hadn't thought a lot about marriage or children, only that he thought he wanted them. Someday.\n\nBoys to play ball with like his dad used to, or girls to build a dollhouse for and pretend tea parties were the rage. Or the other way around, since he realized that was pretty sexist of him. Zoe would knock him upside the head for that, seeing as she was the best player on their summer baseball league.\n\nBut the warmth filling his chest meant the time to think about the future was present. He attributed the emotional shift to Avery and their new relationship. Perhaps because she already had a daughter, but he didn't think that was the reason. For the first time in his life, he didn't have the urge to move on, to find the next adventure or cheap thrill. He wasn't bored or itchy for action.\n\nAvery settled something inside him. It didn't matter if they were watching a movie on her couch, making love in his bedroom, or cooking dinner at her place. None of it was tedious. Hell, he couldn't stop thinking about her or when he could next see her. Couldn't stop wondering when he'd get to do the simple, mundane things with her again.\n\nWhen Mom lost Dad, and so suddenly, he'd had to witness just how hard it was for her to survive without him. They'd been a solid unit all his life. It was as if she suddenly didn't know how to function. And when Drake had lost Heather, well... Drake still wasn't himself almost four years later. It had gutted him. It made Cade wonder, and not for the first time, if getting this deep in a relationship was wise. All that pain awaited. But he couldn't live his life expecting the worst, could he?\n\nA small hand latched on to his and he glanced down. Hailey swung their arms while looking everywhere at once in that adorable, distracted way of hers.\n\nThat was the other thing. Children didn't typically frighten him, but they didn't give him the warm fuzzies, either. This one? This one brought out protective instincts he didn't know existed and made his throat close when she reached across the barriers of her handicap to form a connection.\n\nLike holding his hand. Or cuddling on the couch.\n\n\"I don't know if she'll like snow,\" Avery said, glancing over the horizon and back to him. \"Might be a sensory overload for her, like sand. She can't stand it.\" If she noticed what Hailey had done, she didn't say so. Her smile was warm, lighting her eyes as she shrugged. \"We can try.\"\n\nHe looked down at the tiny person next to him. \"Whatcha think, squirt? Want to try sledding or building a snowman?\" He knew she wouldn't answer, but sometimes she gave off subtle signals to tell him what she wanted. Nada this time.\n\nUndeterred, he led them closer to the pine trees to a quieter area and scooped up a handful of snow. He turned Hailey's hand over and set the fresh powder in her palm. She immediately dropped it and started rocking. Not good.\n\nAvery pulled the girl's mittens from her pockets and put them on Hailey. \"Try now.\"\n\nHe repeated the process with the same result. \"Guess not.\"\n\nPlopping his ass in the snow, he gathered enough powder to compact together for a snowman base, watching Hailey out of the corner of his eye. She didn't appear interested, but she didn't wander off, either. By the time he got to the head, Hailey had moved closer and Avery was snapping pictures on her phone.\n\nCade made a tiny snowball and set it in Hailey's hand. \"Don't drop it this time. Throw it.\" When she did neither, he gently grabbed her wrist and made the motion for her. The snow hit Avery square in the cheek.\n\nPhone poised in her outstretched hand, she froze and narrowed her eyes at him. \"Not funny.\"\n\nHe disagreed. Gathering another snowball, he helped Hailey throw again. This time, the girl barked a laugh. \"She thinks it's funny.\"\n\nAvery didn't retaliate, but her smile was reward enough.\n\nThey tried sledding, but Hailey never made it past sitting down. After an hour, they called it quits and packed it in.\n\nOn the drive back, Avery turned to him. \"I'm sorry she wasn't into it.\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"No worries.\" He had fun, nonetheless.\n\nHis cell went off in his pocket and he cursed for forgetting to attach Bluetooth. He dug the phone out and answered without glancing at the ID, keeping his eyes on the road.\n\nDrake's voice filled his ear. \"Family dinner has been bumped up an hour.\"\n\nCade glanced at the dashboard. \"We're on our way back now. We'll make it.\"\n\nHe glanced at Avery, but she was looking out the side window. He hadn't told her about dinner plans, figuring he'd work up to it. Every other Sunday, he and his brothers went over to Mom's. This would be the first time he'd brought someone along.\n\nDrake grunted his acknowledgement and disconnected.\n\nCade set the phone in his lap and wound his way over the curvy highway, wondering if she'd flip out about having dinner with his family. It wasn't as if she didn't know them, but working together or hanging out at the bar was different than sharing a meal in someone's home. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her off after they'd finally seemed to break ground this morning.\n\nHe drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel. \"We're heading to my mom's house. For family dinner. If that's okay with you.\" He ground his jaw at his brilliance in blurting it out in rapid-fire succession. \"Mom invited you. Hailey, too. It's just us and my brothers. Nothing fancy or anything.\"\n\nJesus, O'Grady. Shut it.\n\nShe looked at him, brows arched and lips hinting at a smile. \"Nervous?\"\n\nHell yes. Seemed like gnomes were doing cartwheels in his stomach, and he didn't like the foreign feeling one bit. Why he was nervous, he had no clue. This was Avery. She fit in anywhere and his brothers already loved her. His mom took a liking to her the first time they'd met and brought her up in conversation too often to ignore the hint.\n\nHe shrugged. \"A little.\"\n\nShe grinned.\n\n\"Fine. A lot.\" He sighed. \"Are you upset I didn't talk to you beforehand? We can do it another time, yeah?\"\n\n\"I prefer you ask me first next time, but I'm good with it.\"\n\nThey were on the steeper decline off the mountain road. One patch of black ice or a curve too fast and it would be lights out. He had precious cargo to think about. He couldn't chance a look to verify she really was okay. The inflection in her tone, one he was growing to know quite well, indicated she was fine. He, however, was not.\n\n\"You're the first woman I've brought home. Not including my prom date.\" Which had been Zoe on a friends-only basis, so that didn't count. \"Technically, you know my family, so this is more of a formality, yeah? I mean, it's just dinner.\"\n\nChrist. He'd need a straightjacket in about ninety seconds.\n\n\"Breathe,\" she said in her calm voice, amusement tinting her tone.\n\n\"I'm breathing.\" For the most part.\n\nHer hand came down on his thigh, and even through his jeans, her heat seeped into him, calming him in an instant. She stroked his leg with her thumb, meant to be a soothing action, but it was having the opposite effect with a certain part of his anatomy.\n\n\"Just remember, we can do laundry later.\"\n\nHis gaze whipped to hers and back to the road, long enough to catch a glance of her hand covering her mouth, attempting to contain a grin.\n\nHe was nervous and she threw humor at him. _At him_. The guy who typically made light of everything. Who didn't do the dating thing or bring home a date.\n\nYet Avery, who'd been burned by exactly what he was trying to attempt, opened herself to him and had the strength to go for it, no matter how much a relationship probably scared her. If anyone deserved to be cynical, it was her. Tenfold. But she wasn't. She was kind and giving and funny and quirky and organized and...\n\n_Perfect_.\n\nJust like that, every emotion he'd been battling with regards to her slammed into his chest with full seismic force.\n\nSurprise...happiness...nerves...worry...protectiveness...compassion...respect... lust.\n\nUtterly blinding. Deafening. Excruciating.\n\nOne after another after another until he thought he'd need to pull over or risk crashing the car. His hands shook against the wheel, forcing him to clench his fingers in a death grip. He was pretty sure this was what a heart attack felt like. No air. Crippling pain in his chest.\n\nThe worst of it all was, Drake had been right. At the forefront of the emotional upheaval and shoving its way to the surface was love. Yeah. _Love_. And not the cuddly puppy kind.\n\nHe should've seen this coming. And what in the hell was he supposed to do about it?\n\nFocusing on the road, on her soothing touch, he forced oxygen into and out of his lungs. By the time they'd pulled up to his mother's house, the answer hadn't been forthcoming, but he was measurably calmer. Figuring he'd corner Drake later, he slapped on his game face.\n\nShe didn't attempt to exit the car, instead shifting in her seat to face him. One look and he knew she saw right through him. Her eyebrows rose and her eyes took on a serious, compassionate softness that pummeled him.\n\nSlowly, she nodded in an ah-ha. \"If you're this upset, we don't have to go in. We don't have to do laundry, either. We can just call it a day.\"\n\nHe was wrong. She didn't get it. Or she was giving him an out.\n\nScrew that. He didn't want an out. \"I want to go inside and enjoy the time with my family. With you and Hailey right there.\"\n\nShe stared at him for an unnervingly long beat. He couldn't read her expression to save his life, but he suspected she was doing more of her mind juju. Then, without a word, she opened the door and slipped out of the car. Taking Hailey's hand, she walked up the porch steps.\n\nHe followed and nodded at Flynn when his brother opened the door. Cade hung up their coats in the hall closet, breathing in the scent of Mom's home cooking, hoping his Spidey senses were right and that was meatloaf he smelled.\n\nAs Avery and Hailey walked deeper into the house and said hello to Drake, Flynn turned to Cade.\n\n_\"Bringing home a girl to meet the family_ ,\" the asshole signed. \" _How the mighty have fallen. When's the wedding?\"_\n\nIn answer, Cade showed his brother his favorite digit, the one between his pointer and ring finger.\n\nStepping into the family room, he half expected to see Dad there. His father's medical journals were on the bookshelves right where he'd left them and his favorite chair was in the corner, empty. Nostalgia lanced through Cade's gut and he shook it off.\n\nBesides Avery and Hailey, Drake was the only one present, sitting on one of the plaid couches his parents had since 'Nam, and watching a nature show on Discovery Channel. Closed captioning was on for Flynn and a fire was roaring in the corner hearth. Drake's German Shepherd, Moses, and Flynn's golden retriever, Fetch, were sleeping on the thick beige carpet under the bay window. Neither moved to acknowledge the newcomers.\n\n\"Cade? Is that you?\" A clattering followed Mom's question and Cade imagined her fluttering around the kitchen, mashing potatoes and taking the meatloaf from the oven. Mom, the multi-tasker.\n\n\"Yeah,\" he hollered back. \"Avery and Hailey, too.\"\n\n\"Oh good. Avery, dear. Come in here with me. There's too much testosterone in there.\"\n\nSeeing her in his parents' house caused a cozy warmth to fill his core. He stayed in the doorway to take the moment in, but she was on her feet and motioning for Hailey to follow her.\n\n\"We're needed in the kitchen.\"\n\nFlynn shook his head. \" _I've got her. Go ahead_.\"\n\nCade looked down at Hailey, who hadn't moved too far from him and was watching Flynn's hands with more focus than he'd seen from her to date.\n\n\"Are you sure?\" Avery bit her lip, and he had to wonder when the day would come she'd realize her and her daughter weren't a hardship.\n\nFlynn nodded, redirecting his attention on the girl. \" _Remember me?\"_\n\nHailey didn't respond, but she was watching his brother intently, as was Avery with a worried wrinkle between her brows.\n\nFlynn squatted in front of Hailey. \" _I don't talk, either.\"_ He looked at Avery. \" _Does she play checkers?\"_\n\nAvery nodded. \"She prefers tic-tac-toe, though.\"\n\nFlynn grinned at the girl. \" _Think you can beat me?\"_ He didn't wait for an answer. Rising, he headed down the hallway toward their old bedrooms, Hailey in his wake.\n\nAfter a moment, Avery walked around the corner and disappeared into the kitchen. When his mother's voice drifted into the room, he knew Avery would be occupied for a while.\n\nCade looked at Drake and jerked his chin toward the door. \"Take a ride with me to get the dogs.\" They needed to be let out and Freeman usually came with him to Mom's.\n\nIt wasn't a request, and Drake didn't take it as one. He rose from the couch and slipped into his coat, then held the door open for Cade.\n\nIn silence, they drove the short distance to Cade's cabin and parked. He didn't have much time and wanted to get back before Avery knew he was gone. Yet he fisted the wheel and made no attempt to exit the vehicle. He wished his head could make sense of the emotional riot.\n\nDrake gave him an assessing side-glance. \"Are we going to make out?\"\n\nCade couldn't help it. He dropped his forehead to the steering wheel and laughed. The entire day, if not the past few weeks, had been surreal. \"Hell, Drake. It's good to have you back. One more thing I can thank her for.\"\n\nHis brother didn't respond, but tension filled the car, crackled in the air. Cade lifted his head and stared out the windshield, unsure what to do or say.\n\nAfter several long, awkward minutes, Drake sighed. \"I never went anywhere.\"\n\nNot physically, but ever since Heather died, his big brother had mentally and emotionally checked out. Maybe it was Avery's doing or maybe enough time had passed since Heather's death for Drake to move on. Perhaps a combination. Either way, his brother was acting less like a ghost and more like part of the human race again.\n\nDrake crossed his arms. \"Since we're not here for incestuous reasons, and thanks for that, I can only assume this is about a certain woman?\"\n\nHe leaned his head back and closed his eyes. \"All the great tragedies start with the phrase 'There's this girl...'\"\n\n\"As do the epic love stories. Not all end in tragedy.\"\n\nCade opened his eyes and stared at his brother. \"You look like Drake, sound like Drake, but\u2014\"\n\n\"You brought me out here. If you didn't want my opinion, you should've brooded in silence.\" One corner of his mouth quirked. \"It has its merits. Silence.\"\n\nHe returned his focus to the windshield, rubbing the back of his neck. \"How did you know it was love with Heather?\"\n\nDrake laughed without mirth. \"You just know. And the fact you're asking means you're there.\"\n\nCade had pretty much reached the same conclusion, but what he really wanted to say was wedged in his throat. Words that, if spoken aloud, couldn't be taken back, and he wasn't sure he wanted the truth.\n\nHe'd watched Drake grieve for his wife, stood there as his brother's life had crashed down around him, and he'd been powerless to do a thing. All that pain, all that misery. Cade was only hovering on the outskirts of that kind of love, and he couldn't fathom how Drake put one foot in front of the other after his world had been stolen.\n\n\"I don't...\" Cade blew out a ragged breath. \"I never wanted to fall for her, for anyone. Why set yourself up for pain when you can see it coming?\"\n\nDrake's gaze pinned him to the seat. Direct, swift, and more than a little irritated. \"So this man-to-man isn't about advice or confirmation. You're asking for permission to walk away. Because what? You could get hurt?\"\n\nCade shook his head, his unfocused gaze drifting off. He didn't think he could walk away from Avery, even if he should.\n\nHonestly, he didn't know why he'd brought Drake out here, other than his brother might very well be the only one who understood what he was dealing with. And the only person who could get him past his reservations about plunging altogether. When push came to shove, if Heather hadn't died, Cade didn't think they'd be having this conversation. Love would just be another grand adventure and not something to fear.\n\n\"You're not asking the right question, little brother.\" Drake's solemn gaze met his, his tone mild, but not brooking argument. \"You need to ask if it's worth it, if I'd do it again knowing the result.\" He leaned closer. \"Hell yes. I would.\"\n\nDrake grabbed the handle and opened the door, sliding one foot down to the ground. \"I'll get the dogs. You get your shit together.\"\n\n# Chapter 22\n\nAvery and Gayle had just brought the food out to the large kitchen table when Drake and Cade strode in, the dogs at their heels. Drake seemed no different, but Cade's gaze wouldn't meet hers and his mouth twisted in what seemed like unpleasant thoughts. She had no clue why it had taken thirty minutes to drive a block to get the dogs, but her stomach cranked in worry.\n\nCade rubbed the back of his neck and came deeper into the room, eying the table. \"Looks good, Mom.\"\n\n\"Thank you. Sit down, everyone.\"\n\nShe liked Gayle's home. Unlike Cade's two-story, his mom's was a ranch and not nearly as updated. The place had a lived-in feel. Photos were everywhere she turned\u2014the mantle, the walls, the fridge\u2014and went as far as his parents' wedding. The furniture and appliances seemed dated to the boys' youth. Even the kitchen table had nicks and scars. The house was simple and friendly, like Gayle.\n\nAvery hung back, waiting for everyone to take a seat in order to assess where they wanted her to sit. In the end, she wound up next to Flynn and across from Cade. Instead of taking the open spot by Cade, Hailey plopped down at the head of the table where no place setting had been laid out.\n\nAvery tapped Hailey's arm. \"Sweetie, there's a plate by Cade for you.\"\n\nHailey didn't move, and nerves pinged in Avery's belly, especially when everyone seemed to be sharing uncertain glances with each other.\n\n\"She's fine,\" Cade said at length, eyes on Hailey. \"Only someone as awesome as my dad gets to sit in his spot.\"\n\nOh God. That had been his dad's place at the head of the table. She rose. \"Hailey, please move to the other chair.\"\n\nDrake cleared his throat. \"Sit, Avery. Like Cade said, she's fine.\"\n\nAvery looked at Gayle just to be certain, still uneasy.\n\nShe smiled and nodded her agreement with her sons, waving her hand in dismissal of the situation.\n\nBlowing out a breath, Avery reclaimed her seat. She leveled a smile in Drake's direction. \"You're so bossy.\"\n\nHe grinned right back. \"This from the woman who alphabetized my surgical vials. Twice.\"\n\n\"Well, I don't know how you found anything in that mess of a cabinet. Besides, that's organizing, not bossing.\"\n\nHis brows lifted, grin widening. Who knew Drake had dimples? \"Okay, you told Missy Hamilton not to come back to the clinic unless she was wearing a bra. That's bossy.\"\n\nFlynn choked on his drink. \" _You did not. Really?\"_\n\nShe huffed. \"I did so. You can't walk into a place of business with all your...goodies hanging out. And who brings a goldfish in for a checkup? Come on.\"\n\nFlynn shook his head. \" _Dump my brother and marry me_.\"\n\nShe laughed. \"I'll consider it.\" Glancing around, she realized heads were pivoting between the conversation and she was holding up dinner. Her cheeks heated. \"Um... This looks really delicious, Gayle. Thanks for having us.\"\n\nGayle picked up a bowl of peas and passed it to Drake with a motherly smile. \"Oh no, dear. The pleasure is all mine.\"\n\nAvery went to load Hailey's plate only to find Cade had already done it. He also had a cup of milk in front of him, having switched out his lemonade with Hailey's glass.\n\nFlynn zeroed in on that, too. \" _Stealing milk from kids? Not nice_.\"\n\n\"She can't have dairy, jerkface.\"\n\n\"Language, Cade.\" Gayle tsked and forked a slice of meatloaf onto her plate. She looked at Avery. \"I'll remember the no-dairy for next time.\"\n\nCade's brows lowered. \"Jerkface is not a curse.\" He turned to Hailey. \"Right, squirt? Just don't go repeating it at school. Deal?\" He held up his fist and, after her typical delay, Hailey bumped it back.\n\nWhen he looked up at Avery, a half grin cranked in satisfaction, her heart outright stopped pumping. She couldn't look away from that intense shade of blue\u2014a force of nature when combined with amusement and a clear case of love. He wasn't trying to win her over with her daughter's affection or spending time with Hailey to get to Avery. He did all these sweet, simple things because he...legitimately loved Hailey.\n\nIt was blatantly apparent in the care he took, his patience, and the way he looked at her. He pushed her boundaries, but only to get a read on her, and never so far as to upset her mood. Able to read her mannerisms, he headed off problems before they began and was learning her likes.\n\nMost of all, he spent time with Hailey. Today's snow adventure was the truest test of his character. Instead of getting angry or disappointed Hailey hadn't been an excited participant, he'd shrugged it off.\n\nAvery's heart lodged in her throat, her eyes suspiciously close to watering. She stared down at her plate to get a hold of herself.\n\nRichard had never tried to bond with their daughter. Not truly, and definitely not after her autism diagnosis. He hadn't seen the point. He thought she was broken. In his eyes, Hailey had a major defect and since she didn't respond in the normal way to situations, he'd stopped trying at all. And though Avery swore to herself she'd strive to quit comparing Richard and Cade, in this one blaring instance, she couldn't help it.\n\nRichard was Hailey's father, but love never came into play. Cade had no blood tie, no familial connection, yet he adored Hailey. There was no question. That was the kind of man he was. Real. Genuine.\n\nShe wasn't sure if she should be jealous someone else was in Hailey's life. Stupid as it sounded, Avery had never needed to vie for her daughter's love. And as much as her head told her to wave a caution flag that Hailey was attached, she just couldn't. Hailey deserved to be adored.\n\nCade swallowed, his eyebrows drawn in a silent question, asking her what was wrong. That right there got her every time. His intuition.\n\nShe offered a smile and broke the potent contact to take a bite of mashed potatoes. Now was not the time to dissect feelings. Not surrounded by his family. She'd analyze her thoughts later and figure out what to do, if anything.\n\nBy the time they made it back to the cabin, it was pushing Hailey's bedtime. She seemed tired anyway, so Avery skipped the usual sleepy time show and had Hailey brush her teeth. Her eyes were drooping before her head hit the pillow.\n\nAvery sat on the edge of the mattress and tucked the sheet up to Hailey's chin. Seraph bounded into the room with his three-legged hobble and sat at Avery's feet to be picked up. He was getting bigger everyday, but the little pup hadn't mastered jumping quite yet.\n\nShe bent to pick him up, scratched behind his ears, and settled him next to an out cold Hailey. He circled the mattress twice before curling up to her chest. Since she was asleep, Avery took a moment to run her fingers through Hailey's dark hair. She let Avery hold her hand and occasionally cuddle, but sometimes Avery just craved touch. She loved these stolen moments, held them close to her chest when Hailey's limitations went against Avery's needs.\n\nCade was waiting in the other room. She pressed a kiss to Hailey's forehead and made her way out, finding him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and staring off into space. That introspective expression was on his face, but he smiled when he noticed her walk in. Affection lit his eyes, warming his smile as she drew closer.\n\nHe kissed her temple as she stepped into his arms. \"Aunt Marie called your cell while you were in with Hailey.\"\n\nShe glanced over his shoulder to the counter. \"Probably wants to discuss the St. Patrick's Day potluck. She's been hinting about new ideas since we finalized the Valentine's dance.\"\n\nHe laughed. \"Luring you to the dark side, one event at a time.\" His grin was in full charm mode. \"The O'Gradys are the biggest contributors to the potluck, being Irish on Dad's side and all. You haven't tasted anything until you try his beef stew recipe.\"\n\nSettling closer, she wrapped her arms around his waist and got a little thrill having his hard body aligned perfectly to hers. \"Your dad cooked?\"\n\nHe made a sound of agreement. \"Sometimes. When he did, he was damn good.\" His gaze swept her face. \"My mom likes you.\"\n\nShe pressed her face to his neck, enjoying their few minutes alone. She didn't realize how much she'd liked to be held, to snuggle, until Cade. \"The feeling's mutual. Even if she is one of the... What do you call them? The Battleaxes?\"\n\nHis chest shook in a laugh. \"Yes. She's tame compared to her sisters, but she can be just as conniving if she's invested. Aunt Rosa's the instigator and Aunt Marie's the enforcer.\"\n\n\"They seem harmless.\" Mostly. Avery had been the target of their focus a few times, but none of it had been malicious.\n\n\"They're not. They're capable of mass manipulation of epic proportions. Match making, swaying public opinion to their cause, butting into personal business.\" He wrapped his arms tighter, giving her a squeeze. \"You're right, though. They mean well.\"\n\nShe let out a contented sigh as her muscles relaxed. His linen scent mixed with husky male was becoming her new drug. They stayed like that for a few minutes as if satisfied by nothing more than holding each other.\n\nThe washing machine went into spin cycle, the whirring sound filling the room, and she lifted her head. \"You started laundry?\" How...domestic.\n\nHe brushed a strand of hair away from her face. \"Hailey's load. And speaking of, you're not wearing the aforementioned laundry outfit.\"\n\nGod, he could melt the panties off with just one heated look, one word in that rough timbre tone. \"I guess we should remedy that.\" She went to step away, but he grabbed her waist and lifted her onto the counter.\n\nHands on her hips, he moved between her thighs. \"I like you best in nothing at all.\" Leaning in, he brought his mouth to hers, kissing her lower lip and sliding his tongue across it for entry.\n\nWhen she opened, he stroked her in a sensual, languid exploration that had her pulse tripping and her breasts heavy. Too soon, he eased back a margin to look in her eyes, and what stared back at her made her heartbeat speed for an entirely different reason. Behind the need, the heat, was adoration. She recognized the expression from movies, books, or other couples she'd been near, but not once had she ever been the recipient.\n\nMaybe she was reading too much into the moment. It was just a look after all, but her skin flushed under his study and, as they stared at each other, sharing air, the need in his eyes moved out to make room for...\n\nNo. Now she knew she was crazy. After less than two months, Cade couldn't possibly love her. Would he even know romantic love if it parachuted down in front of him?\n\nHeck, would she?\n\nThough he never abused his charm, he had every single woman in the county eating out of his palm. They sashayed into the clinic, assaulted him in the bar, and came on to him just walking the street. By her observation, he didn't lead them on and was always up front with them. But the fact remained, he'd never fallen for any of them.\n\nPerhaps he felt more deeply about her, but this wasn't love. He was confusing affection and caring for the real deal. Had to be.\n\nHis jaw clenched in what she'd come to understand was a nervous or angry gesture as he cupped her cheek. But his touch was a caress, stroking her with his thumb, his gaze tender. Total surrender. That's what his expression relayed.\n\nTotal surrender.\n\n\"Avery...\" His low, hoarse voice washed over her. A plea. An admission.\n\nShe couldn't do this, didn't want to. No, he wasn't Richard. Yes, Cade was a good man. But she'd done this merry-go-round before and it had been disastrous. Love stole everything\u2014personality, will, reason. Independence. She'd fought too hard to fall again. She was growing to depend on his attention, his kiss, his kindness, his sweet words. Hailey was already attached.\n\nHe tensed against her, and she opened her eyes to look into his. Infused in all that amazing blue was distressed alarm. Desperation.\n\n\"Don't,\" he said through gritted teeth. He sucked in a breath, speaking again in a softer voice. \"Don't put the wall back up.\"\n\nBefore she could wrap her head around the situation, he reached behind his neck and pulled off his shirt, revealing his ripped muscles and smooth skin lightly dusted with hair. He fumbled in his pocket, then withdrew a condom and set it next to her. Keeping his gaze locked to hers, he unbuttoned his fly and shucked his pants, standing before her in all his naked, yummy glory.\n\nThe man was built. Beautiful. Already hard, he stroked his length once, twice, his gaze open and devastatingly revealing. Hunger and heart.\n\nMouth watering, she remained still, welcoming the throb between her legs and the ache which followed. This she could do, and he seemed to sense that, like he always did. He'd closed the door on emotion to keep her grounded, keep her with him.\n\nBut at what cost? In time, maybe panic wouldn't clutch her chest, and she could grow to accept another pass at something more. But not now. And she would only hurt him in the process if his heart was engaged.\n\n\"I said don't.\" He closed the distance and yanked her shirt over her head. Unfastening her pants, he encouraged her to lift her hips, then tossed those aside, too. He ripped the condom wrapper with his teeth and rolled it down his length.\n\nAll the while, he kept her gaze held captive, unable to look away.\n\nThen his arms were around her and he was lifting her from the counter. She gasped, wrapping her legs around his hips and grabbing his shoulders as he backed them to the table. Her spine pressed against the cool, smooth surface, and he followed her down. His length rocked against her folds, testing her readiness as his mouth latched on to her neck.\n\nThe sensation stimulus was blinding. Her nipples rasped his chest hair, the contrast a burn. His erection teased her clit, sending sparks through her body. His tongue and teeth on her neck lit her nerves, drew a violent tremble from deep within.\n\nOh God. They were going to have sex in the kitchen, right there on her kitchen table.\n\nHis finger trailed from her mound to her opening, and at discovering how wet she was, he groaned. Fisting his base, he aligned his shaft and eased inside.\n\nShe moaned as he stretched her walls, filled her with hard heat, and kept going until he was rooted and she could do no more than pant against his neck. Every time they came together it was old and new, familiar and fresh, comforting and energizing. A collision of contrast and need and sensation.\n\nHe laced his fingers with hers and brought them over her head, his forearms on the table caging her in. The new position nudged him deeper, had more skin to skin than ever before. He looked into her eyes, not only trapping her with his body, but his gaze.\n\nTrapping her to him. All of him.\n\n\"Do you see how good we are, sweetheart?\" His throat worked a swallow. \"Do you feel it?\"\n\nThat was the problem in a nutshell, wasn't it? It was too good. And things that were too good to be true usually were. It just made the crash more painful.\n\nDespite the warning in her head and the lump in her throat, she nodded.\n\nHe brought his mouth to hers and kissed her so thoroughly she couldn't remember what planet she was on and didn't care. She just wanted him, for however long it lasted.\n\nReading her need, he began to move inside her, shallow thrusts at first and then with deeper strokes. She dug her heels into his backside, urging more, her body straining for the oblivion only he could give her. He rolled his hips with each drive, his pelvis grinding over her clit and bringing her closer to shattering.\n\nHis fingers squeezed hers, silently telling her he was close, asking her to let go. He kissed her again, frantic, searching. He must've found what he was seeking because his groan vibrated her chest and his pace quickened.\n\nShe threw her head back. Arched. Already so close, she tumbled over. Wave after wave, the force hit. She quaked underneath him, her breath trapped in her chest and her head reeling.\n\nHe pressed his cheek to hers and rasped her name as he came. Rigid, he dropped his forehead to her brow, eyes pinched tight, his handsome face twisted in desire. He let out the breath he'd been holding, his hips still thrusting with shallow strokes as if seeking to prolong the orgasm.\n\nSlowly, he opened his eyes, released her fingers and wrapped his arms around her back, providing a cushion from the hard table. So many emotions traveled in and out of his eyes, passing too quickly for her to read.\n\nMouth open, brows drawn together, he seemed like he wanted to say something and changed his mind. He eased out and dropped the condom in the trash, coming right back to pick her up.\n\nIt stopped being awkward after the first couple times, and she still had to bite back the urge to inform him she could walk, but he seemed to enjoy carting her places. Not often. A boost out of the car, a lift from one room to the next. Like a Cade O'Grady version of sweeping her off her feet. She could do without the shyness that rose or the damsel-in-distress impression, but Cade obviously got enjoyment from it, so she rested her head on his chest and went with it.\n\nCarrying her down the hall, he walked into her bedroom and gently set her on the bed, climbing in beside her.\n\nIt dawned on her as she turned on her side to face him that he'd always made it a point to care for her after making love. Even that first time, once he'd eventually emerged from the bathroom, he'd found a way to pull himself together. Whether it was cuddling, skimming a reassuring hand over her back, or just lying next to her, he'd find something touching to do to ride out the aftereffects.\n\nIn all her life, from her mom to her ex to Hailey, she'd always been the one taking care of others. Part of that was her need for control and order. But mostly, she'd been playing the hand she was dealt and had done what was needed. The role reversal with Cade only served to add another element to the heady mix.\n\nHe took her hand in his and kissed her palm. \"Relax. I know rule numero uno is no sleepovers with Hailey in the house. I'll leave in a little while.\" His thumb stroked her inner wrist. \"I'm not taking off seconds after being with you, though. Get used to it.\"\n\nGod. He was killing her. As Brent would say...swoon, doll, swoon.\n\nCade brushed her nose with his. \"Not that I'm complaining, but what's that smile for?\"\n\nShe made a sleepy noise in her throat. \"Just thought of a Brent-ism for this exact moment.\"\n\n\"Brent-ism? Should I be concerned you're thinking of my tech right now?\"\n\n\"Nope.\" Letting out a sigh, her lids drooped as exhaustion claimed her. What was she going to do with him?\n\n# Chapter 23\n\nIt was barely lunchtime and this was quickly turning into the day from hell. In the clinic hallway, Cade swiped the device screen to pull up his next patient's chart, hoping to hell for a depressed hamster or routine vaccination.\n\nHe'd had to euthanize Mrs. Frederick's eighteen-year-old cat when she'd brought it in for weight loss and he'd discovered a pancreatic tumor. Shit way to start the day. Especially because Mrs. Frederick was pushing ninety and was recently widowed. She loved that damn cat more than her deceased husband. Not that Cade blamed her. Mr. Frederick had been a crotchety old fart who spent most of Cade's youth bitching they played ball too loud. Like it was Cade's problem the Frederick's lived across the street from the little league park.\n\nThen they had to put down a German short hair for age-related issues, and Christ if watching ten-year-old Andy Diedry cry buckets over his dog didn't nearly kill Cade. Brent was still misty over that one.\n\nBetween those appointments, he'd had to pry two blondes and one brunette off him when the three of them cornered him in an exam room. The two blondes were retrievers in heat and their brunette owner was...well, in heat, too, he guessed.\n\nTo add insult to injury, something was off about Avery today. She'd barely spoken three words to him all morning and, judging by her expression, she was teetering between livid female and basket case, depending on when he caught her amid patients. He hadn't had five seconds to himself to ask her what was wrong, but he hoped to hell he hadn't done something.\n\nFor the past couple weeks, ever since he realized he was batshit crazy in love with her, things had been pretty good between them. They'd settled into a routine of complete denial where he didn't tell her his feelings and she pretended she didn't know he had any. No L words had been exchanged, but the look in her eyes that night after dinner with his mom had been like a billboard pronouncing her holy-hell-in-a-handbasket reaction.\n\nHe'd been dodging proposals and willing females for years who hadn't taken the hint when he'd ended things for getting too serious. And Avery wasn't ready to hear him say the three words. Oh, the irony.\n\nWhatever. He'd do denial for as long as it took for her be comfortable with the idea. He was in no hurry. He'd continue watching Hailey on Friday nights for Avery's committee meetings, have dinner at her house a couple times a week as they'd been doing, and sneak out her door after making love.\n\nHell, though. Would it kill anyone if they knew about their relationship? Why couldn't he take her out to dinner? Just once. Or hold her hand in public and not have her pull away as if he had leprosy. And though he understood the no sleepover thing, it was gutting him how badly he wanted to wake up next to her.\n\nFocusing on his workload, he skimmed through his next patient's chart in Avery's recently installed EMR system. Thank Almighty. A routine appointment. Knocking on exam room two's door, he strode in to shake Mr. Weaver's hand.\n\nA three-year-old Westie immediately attacked Cade's shoelaces with reckless abandon. Cade ignored mini-Cujo and looked into Mr. Weaver's rheumy eyes. \"What can I do for you today, sir?\"\n\n\"Well, Snowball here has something wrong with him.\" Mr. Weaver shook his head. \"He rubs himself all over the floor and does this shaking thing like he's got the devil in him.\"\n\nWithout even looking at the dog, Cade knew the issue, but he picked up the Westie and set him on the table. He took out an otoscope and checked Snowball's ears. \"Any change in diet?\"\n\n\"No, I feed him that expensive crap you told me to.\"\n\nBiting back a grin, Cade felt the dog's abdomen. \"He's sleeping okay? Playing normally?\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\nCade listened to the lungs and heart. \"He's getting the heartworm medication monthly?\" He checked the dog's gums and teeth, cooing to the terrier breed before it could get snippy. As a pup, Snowball had taken a good chunk out of Brent's finger. In the dog's defense, Brent had been taking a rectal temperature at the time.\n\n\"Yes. He gets that tick stuff, too.\"\n\nCade found the telltale skin irritation on the dog's back and paws, but chose his words carefully. Mr. Weaver was a Vietnam vet who never married and was pretty set in his ways. Though he only made appointments when necessary, he was pretty needy when he came in. Cade figured it was loneliness.\n\nHe rubbed Snowball's ears and gave him a treat for being good. \"He's got some skin allergies, I'm afraid. It's fairly common, but treatable. We can start him off on an oral medication, and if that doesn't work, we can combine meds or try injections.\"\n\n\"No. That's not the problem. He shakes. It has to be seizures.\" Mr. Weaver crossed his arms, and Cade mentally checked himself in for the long haul.\n\n\"Dogs often roll on the floor to scratch an itch and when they use their hind legs, it can appear as if they're shaking. I can completely understand where you got the notion.\"\n\n\"Then it's his heart. There's something wrong.\"\n\nAfter twenty minutes, Cade couldn't spare any more time and not piss off the other patients waiting, so he reiterated the allergy diagnosis, handed Mr. Weaver the pills, and chatted with him about the weather to distract him as they strode out.\n\nThe rest of the day was more shit. By the time he'd seen the last appointment of the day, he was ready for a hot shower and to sink into a hotter woman.\n\nClosing his office door, he made his way to the lobby to see if Avery was up for Chinese tonight when he found her leaning against the front desk staring at her phone. That had to be the fifth time he'd caught her today with the color drained from her face.\n\nHeart pounding and worry eating away the lining of his gut, he dipped his head to put his face level with hers. \"What's going on? Is Hailey all right?\"\n\nShe glanced up with wide eyes as if not realizing he was there. The hand holding her phone shook as she pocketed the cell. \"She's fine.\"\n\nHe opened his mouth to bombard her with more questions because something wasn't right, but Brent chose that moment to make an appearance.\n\n\"Hey, doll.\" His tech glanced between the two of them, brows steadily moving north. \"Ruh roh. Trouble in paradise?\"\n\nAvery quickly shook her head and straightened. \"Everything's fine. Something's come up, though. Would you mind closing shop for me?\"\n\nScrew all. That was the straw that broke the veterinarian's back. Avery didn't ask for help often, and she took her responsibilities very seriously. Not that he gave a rat's ass she'd asked Brent to close the clinic. Why she had asked bothered him. He took a step forward, but Brent was there again.\n\n\"You got it, doll. See you tomorrow.\"\n\nShe surged forward and kissed his cheek. \"Thank you.\"\n\n\"No problemo. Get your cute rear outta here.\" To put a period to his point, Brent swatted her \"cute rear\" as she passed him.\n\n_Squawk._ \"I like big butts.\"\n\nShe pointed a warning finger at the cockatoo and disappeared down the hall to retrieve her things.\n\nCade shifted his attention to Brent. \"Did you just smack my woman's ass?\"\n\nHe didn't know whether to be pissed or amused, but he was crawling out of his skin to find out Avery's issues and needed a distraction. He wouldn't get anything out of her until she was at home and had time to process. He was in for at least a couple more hours of worry.\n\nFrustrating woman. Frustrating, beautiful woman.\n\nBrent cocked a hip. \"Aw. Jealous much?\"\n\n\"I'm not jealous. Your door doesn't swing her way.\" Otherwise Cade might introduce Brent to his fist.\n\n\"I meant that I'm smacking her ass and not yours.\" Brent tsked and covered Gossip's cage.\n\n_Squawk._ \"Enter Sandman.\"\n\n\"That's right. Night, night.\" Brent turned to face Cade, picking up She-rah from the printer. \"What's up with our girl, anyway? She's been pouty all day.\" He stroked the cat's back like an evil lord, one pinky up in the air.\n\nCade didn't think Avery was pouty so much as...rattled. He had no clue what or who could do that. \"Hell if I know. I'll head over to her place later and find out.\"\n\nAvery rushed in from the back, waved to them, and used her hip to open the door. \"Night, guys. Thanks again, Brent.\"\n\nCade fisted his hands on the counter. \"I'll be over in an hour.\"\n\nHer gaze whipped to his, wide and alarmed. She ran a shaking hand over her forehead and looked down. \"Not tonight, okay? I'll call you later.\"\n\nThen she was gone, leaving Cade to stand there like an idiot. A confused, pissed off, scared to death idiot.\n\n\"Ouch. Dismissed. What did you do?\"\n\nCade raked a hand through his hair, staring after her. The urge to follow her and demand she tell him what the fuck was going on was so fierce his head pounded. Nauseous, he closed his eyes for a beat.\n\nHe could either respect her wishes and pace his house in worry tonight, or he could ignore her request and try to offer the comfort she needed. Despite her walls and roadblocks, she did need him. Not in a clingy, suffocating way, and not because she was weak. When they were alone, her eyes told him she was falling for him right back. So, yeah. She needed him.\n\nTogether, they had trust and respect and mutual admiration. They talked and laughed. And had really, really hot sex.\n\nTogether, they were stronger.\n\nHell. Decision made.\n\n* * * *\n\nAvery had forced herself to sit at the kitchen table after work and eat the stuffed peppers she'd put in the Crockpot this morning. It exhausted what little energy she had left. Time with Hailey was precious. Between Hailey's school and Avery's work schedule, she only had a couple hours at the end of the day to spend with her little girl.\n\nBut she hadn't been able to eat much, and instead of chattering to Hailey about her day, Avery kept replaying the events in her head. Eventually, she'd directed Hailey to the couch to play on her iPad so Avery could do the dishes.\n\nWhat she needed was a monster glass of wine and to forget today ever happened. A pint of Ben & Jerry's would have to suffice. And the day wasn't over yet.\n\nThe morning had started with the woman at the coffee counter badgering Avery about her relationship with Cade. It seemed innocent enough, and the woman probably meant no harm, but she wouldn't take the hint. Her parting shot had been telling Avery to check the town's Pinterest boards.\n\nNot liking the sound of that, she'd headed for the safety of her car to scroll the site on her phone. There had been an entire board created just for her and Cade. Pictures from the Valentine's dance, a couple from the ice cream shop, and the kicker\u2014a photo of Cade kissing her in the clinic's hallway. She had no clue when it was taken or by whom, but she knew it was not someone from Animal Instincts. They'd never do that. Yet it was a blatant disregard for her privacy and had her stomach cramping.\n\nThen she'd stumbled upon two clients outside the bathroom discussing none other than her. Avery flinched as she washed a plate and set it in the dish rack, remembering the hushed conversation between the two young women.\n\n\"She's not even that pretty. What's he doing with her?\"\n\n\"He'll get bored and move on to greener pastures in under a month.\"\n\nThe cattiness had stung and played on her insecurities. Though the barbs had hurt, she tried not to let them bother her. She was secure in the fact that Cade wanted her. Only her. She saw it in his eyes, felt it in his touch. For now, anyway.\n\nPlus, there were new pictures of Cade with different women on the Pinterest boards. Some as recent as two days ago. They were obviously non-sexual in nature and mostly selfies on the fly, but it made her question, all over again, if she could trust what was between them. How long could his interest last when he was used to...choices?\n\nYet it was just another thing to screw with her head today.\n\nTurning off the sink, she dried her hands and checked the clock again. Twenty minutes and she could put Hailey to bed. Normally, Avery cherished every minute with Hailey. Loneliness seeped through the fissures once her little girl was asleep, and in those quiet hours, Avery found herself hoping.\n\nFor someone. For normal. For an end to having to do it all alone.\n\nDangerous thinking, that. And yet something told her she had, in fact, found what she'd secretly been wanting, even if she couldn't admit it aloud. A heart's desire. Cade was coming hazardously close to proving he was The One, and she feared, more than anything, that it was all an illusion.\n\nShe blew out a breath and shook her head.\n\nYes. Bedtime was dangerous to her heart. Too much time to think. But tonight was different. The queasiness turning her stomach and abject uncertainty squeezing her chest wouldn't abate until she could be alone.\n\nBecause she needed to find out why Richard had called her today. Three times. He'd left a general message the first instance, claiming he needed to speak with her, but he hadn't bothered with voicemail after that.\n\nThousands of scenarios shoved around in her head. Did her ex suddenly want visitation rights? Did he want to fight custody? Had she left something when they'd moved? Was there an issue with the trust fund?\n\nThe acid in her stomach burned a path to her chest. She was going mad with anxiety. Fisting her shaking hands, she took a calming breath.\n\nShe sat next to Hailey on the couch and was glad her sleepy time show was almost through. \"I'm sorry I wasn't very with it today, sweetie. Mommy just had a bad day. But that's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong.\"\n\nWhen the program was over, Avery shut off the TV and was about to direct Hailey to the bathroom when a knock sounded on the front door. Cade strode in without waiting for an answer.\n\nHer first reaction was how glad she was to see him. Her pulse fluttered and her belly quivered. Having no idea when she'd grown to rely on him, on looking forward to their time together, relief deflated her chest that he was here. Nothing sounded better than curling up on the couch with him, leaning on him for the support he was so willing to give. When had her happiness become so dependent on someone else?\n\nBut she'd asked him not to come tonight and he ignored that request. He didn't typically disregard her feelings, and on the day she really needed him to listen, he hadn't.\n\nHis gaze seemed tentative as he looked at her. He hadn't moved from just inside the doorway. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he implored her to say something with a pleading intensity to his eyes.\n\n\"Hailey, go brush your teeth. I'll be right there.\" Avery waited until the water ran in the faucet before addressing Cade. \"I asked you not to come tonight.\"\n\nNot one muscle moved. \"I know. I...\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\nHe sighed, his shoulders sagging. \"I was worried. You've been off all day and\u2014\"\n\nHer cell rang, reminding her why she was so \"off\" today, as he put it. She pulled it from her pocket and tensed at Richard's name on the screen. Sending the call to voicemail, she pressed a hand to her stomach to keep the contents inside and closed her eyes.\n\n\"Do you need to get that? I can put Hailey to bed.\"\n\nIrritation\u2014for Richard, for the bitchy clients talking about her in the hallway, for Pinterest\u2014surged in her chest until she nearly exploded. Her head pounding, her breathing short, she pinned Cade with a glare. \"She's my daughter. I got this.\"\n\nHe flinched as if she'd slapped him. His lips parted while he stepped forward. \"Avery.\"\n\nDamn. Regret added to the churn in her stomach. Her mood wasn't his fault. \"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.\" She sighed. \"You should go. I'll talk to you tomorrow.\"\n\n\"Like hell. Talk to me now.\"\n\nShe was nearing the end of her rope. \"Damn it, Cade. I can't tonight.\"\n\nUndeterred, he jerked his chin toward the hallway. \"Do what you need to. I'll wait.\"\n\nShe was too darn exhausted to argue. Deciding this battle wasn't worth winning, she nodded and stepped out of the room.\n\nBut by the time she got Hailey settled in bed, Avery was shaking with fury. She was directing it at the wrong person. The events of her day weren't Cade's responsibility, but she didn't want him around for this. To see her cracked open and...exposed, two minutes from falling apart.\n\nHe hadn't moved from the spot she'd left him, hands in his pockets and standing in the middle of the living room. His shoulders were tense beneath his coat, his jaw working a grind.\n\nHis anger was masking concern, and something about him losing his cool was sexy beyond measure. Fierce blue eyes met hers, and all she could think about was closing the distance and letting him fix the mess. Kiss away the uncertainty and fear.\n\nFor the first time in her life, someone wanted to hold _her_ up. It was so damn tempting. Against her ingrained nature and experiences, yet tempting nonetheless.\n\nBut Richard needed a call back, and she'd never settle down until she found out what he wanted.\n\nShe pulled out her phone. \"I have to make a call. Wait if you want.\"\n\nHe made a motion like he was unhinging his jaw. \"I want.\" In emphasis, he shrugged out of his coat and tossed it on the couch.\n\nWith more bravado than she felt, she walked through the kitchen to the back door and stepped outside. Letting the cool, humid air wash over her heated skin, she squared her shoulders and connected the call.\n\n# Chapter 24\n\nCade swallowed past the boulder in his throat and rubbed a hand over his stomach. Acid was slowly burning a hole through his gut as he peeked around the living room corner a third time.\n\nAvery was still standing just outside her back door, illuminated in moonlight and motionless. With the phone pressed to her ear, she occasionally nodded or responded to the other person, seemingly as calm as the shallow riverbed snaking through the yard. But her body language screamed with tension. From the wrinkle on her forehead to the stiff way she held her shoulders, she was wrung tight.\n\nHe ran a hand over his neck and resisted the urge to storm through the door and find out who was making his sweet Avery a wreck. And why. All day, she'd been killing him. Her mood, the distance, was so unlike her, and it was still assembling. She'd always been reserved, a little aloof, but she'd never been abrasive. Hell, she'd actually snapped at him when he'd tried to help earlier.\n\nSomething was wrong, and the walls he'd meticulously torn down were rebuilding around her as he watched, helpless to do a damn thing. The urge to howl rose in his chest. He paced instead, wearing her hardwood floors to dust.\n\nFifteen grueling minutes later, the door latch clicked as she stepped through. Face pale, hands shaking, she walked into the living room, her gaze dazedly staring at her cell phone. She stopped near the couch and looked around as if unaware of her surroundings.\n\nShit, shit, shit. More shit. \"Avery, sweetheart. What is it? Talk to me.\" At this point, he wouldn't put it against him to shake an answer out of her.\n\nShe dropped to the couch and rubbed her forehead. \"My...\" She cleared her throat. \"My ex is getting remarried.\"\n\nHe stilled. The hurricane force of air he'd been holding demanded an escape from his lungs. Was he the biggest asshole in existence to be relieved? This wasn't exactly bad news, at least not to him, but the shell-shock in Avery's eyes wouldn't allow his pulse to settle.\n\nNot sure what to do, to say, he walked to the coffee table in front of her and perched at the edge. She wouldn't look him in the eye. An entirely different kind of anxiety raked his chest.\n\nShe shook her head and laughed without mirth. \"I was worried he was going to try to take Hailey away from me, and he called to say he's headed down the aisle.\" She looked at him with a bite in her eyes. \"He's not even marrying the assistant he cheated on me with. It's a socialite friend of the family.\" She rose so fast he got whiplash. \"He didn't ask about his daughter once. Never gave any indication he wanted her there for the nuptials. Can you believe him?\"\n\nCade stood and faced her. She had every right to be angry, and he understood her behavior now, but the fact she didn't lean on him, or attempt to tell him what had been going on, had his own fury battling for dominance. They'd been together long enough he should've been the one she went to when scared.\n\nShe still didn't get she wasn't alone anymore.\n\nMaybe he was itching for a fight, or perhaps he'd just reached the end of his patience, but his brain disconnected from his mouth. \"I'm more interested in why you didn't tell me he'd called.\"\n\nShe whirled to face him, brows arched. \"Excuse me?\"\n\n\"I was with you all day. Hell, I've been with you all along, trying my damnedest to get you to let me in.\" He paused. Did he just...Yes. He did.\n\nThe other side of the fence wasn't looking too great. Always careful, he'd never led his previous lovers on and was out the door the minute things even tilted in this particular direction. And though he'd never promised them anything, had been brutally honest, he was getting a glimpse of how they must've felt.\n\nIt sucked.\n\nRegardless, he slammed the door on his past and every other woman who'd tried to do this exact thing to him. Because Avery was it for him. He'd met his match. And she couldn't even open her mouth to tell him something was wrong.\n\nTo make this shitstorm complete, he had the worst sensation that it didn't matter how much time he gave her. She would never meet him halfway.\n\nHe closed his eyes and sucked in some much needed oxygen. The denial of not admitting how deep he'd sunk threatened to disintegrate. Words he'd never said to another woman, never wanted to. This was unchartered territory for him, and he didn't know what the hell he was doing. For once, he was pretty damn sure he wasn't the one fucking this up.\n\nSlowly, he opened his eyes to meet her unapologetic chocolate gaze. Eyes he'd gladly get lost in, and had. She had no idea how much she said with one look. If he were locked in a room with two terrorists, her ex, and a gun, and only had two bullets, he'd shoot her ex twice. He loved the guy that much. And she was still letting him control her life.\n\n\"Do you still love him?\"\n\n\"What kind of question is that?\" She crossed her arms over her chest with defiance, but the look in her eyes told him the bravado was false. She was just as scared.\n\n\"An honest one.\" He stepped closer until he was a heartbeat away and could breathe in her berry scent, which did nothing to calm him. \"Answer me.\"\n\nThe edges of anger in her eyes gradually softened to understanding. She clenched her fingers as if restraining herself from reaching out. \"No. I don't still love him.\"\n\nOkay. Hell. That was good. \"Then why couldn't you lean on me? Have I ever given you the impression I wouldn't understand?\"\n\nInstead of answering, she pulled out her phone, swiped the screen, and held it out to show him. \"I don't love my ex, but do you still love this lifestyle? Because these pictures indicate you do.\"\n\nPinterest. He fucking hated the site. And most of those pictures were taken out of context. A woman in Shooters who'd climbed in his lap. Etcetera. He ground his teeth. \"I\u2014\"\n\nSomething tugged at his shirt. He glanced down to find Hailey out of bed, holding out her iPad for him. \"Just a second, squirt.\" He looked back at Avery, but her focus was on her daughter, and Cade had lost his train of thought. A common occurrence these days.\n\nHailey tugged again.\n\nHe pinched the bridge of his nose. \"I said just a minute, Hailey.\"\n\nAvery gasped.\n\nAt his own harsh tone, he winced. Dropping to his knees in front of the girl, he barely resisted the urge to pull her in for a hug for being an asshole. \"I'm so sorry, squirt. I shouldn't have raised my voice. What do you need?\"\n\n\"I think you should leave.\"\n\nHis gaze cut to Avery's. Tension knotted his shoulders. Fear clawed his stomach. \"Don't do this.\" He rose.\n\nShe let out a long-winded sigh and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, his Avery was back. A tired, beaten version of her, but Avery just the same. \"It's been a really long, really bad day. Too much for me to take in. Please understand. The fighting is upsetting her. Just go, Cade.\"\n\n\"That's it?\" Just go. As if it were easy as that?\n\n\"No.\" She stepped closer and cupped his jaw, her touch tender. \"I just need some time to acclimate.\"\n\nHe understood she was used to doing things all by herself, and changing that pattern would take time, but he wanted to be around when she...acclimated. Stepping back, he dropped his hands on his hips, fighting the need to roar. Again. Head pounding, the pressure in his chest grew to unbearable.\n\nHe stared at her for he didn't know how long, attempting to get past her armor and remembering how to breathe. It was no use. She was trying, but she'd shut herself off. Not that she'd ever really opened in the first place. Not completely.\n\nHe should walk away. Cut his losses and move on. She obviously didn't give a good goddamn about the potential between them. At the very least, she wasn't as invested as him. Except he couldn't walk. She was in his head and heart and blood. In his every thought and action.\n\nAgony. Bliss.\n\nAnd no one had ever shown her she mattered, had put her first. He sure wasn't going to cement that proof in her mind by doing the same. Because...shit. He loved her even when she was trying not to do the same.\n\nAvery broke the epic stare down when a chill raced through the room and she shivered. She glanced toward the kitchen and froze. \"Oh God. _No_.\"\n\nIce crystallized in his gut as he followed her to the open back door. The room was chilly enough to indicate it had been open at least a few minutes.\n\nShe ran outside and screamed for Hailey, eyes wide, wind whipping her chestnut strands. \"I got distracted by Richard's call. I didn't lock the door after I came in.\" She stumbled down the back deck stairs. \"Hailey?\"\n\nThe hair on his nape stood erect. Abject terror, unlike anything he'd ever known, shoved through him, stealing the beat from his heart. He ran inside and down the hall, but the girl wasn't in her room. Seraph was gone, too. Pulling his cell from his pocket, he dialed Drake.\n\n\"It's almost ten o'clock\u2014\"\n\nCade grabbed his coat and walked back outside as he spoke. \"Hailey's missing. Get Flynn and meet me at Avery's. First rental cabin in the row on Justine's property. I'm going out to look for her. Have Flynn wait with Avery.\"\n\n\"On it.\"\n\nHe disconnected and gripped Avery's shoulders before she could take off alone into the night. \"Call 911 and wait here. My brothers are on their way.\"\n\n\"No, I need to go\u2014\"\n\n\"Stay here in case she comes back.\" He gave her a little shake to ensure she'd heard him.\n\nHer watery, panicked gaze met his. Her breath hitched. \"Cade?\"\n\n\"I'll find her. I promise.\" He didn't give her time to argue. He took off for the cluster of trees and didn't stop. Hailey couldn't be that far ahead of him, but he had no idea which way she'd gone.\n\nEngaging the flashlight app on his phone, he shone the beam on the ground as he ran. Most of the snow had melted, but after a few yards, he spotted footprints in the mud heading east. Shit. The closer Hailey got to the mountain base the more danger of encountering a wild animal.\n\nHis phone rang and he connected before looking at the screen.\n\nDrake's voice was short. \"Which direction did you take?\"\n\n\"East. I found footprints. Is Flynn with Avery?\" She needed someone with her, and Flynn wouldn't be able to hear anything if he was involved with the search.\n\n\"Yes. The sheriff is one minute out. I'm two minutes from you.\"\n\n\"Break northeast. I'm heading southeast.\" He went to disconnect, but thought of something. \"Call for the dog. Hailey won't answer, but Seraph might bark.\"\n\n\"Got it.\"\n\nThe foliage crunched under his boots as he wove through braches and over exposed roots. Every few seconds, he whistled for Seraph and called Hailey's name, stopping only long enough to listen for sounds. The wind was humid, but biting, and his fear notched to cataclysmic when he realized Hailey probably didn't have her coat.\n\nFootsteps pounded to his left, but they were too heavy to be Hailey's. Drake's voice rang through the still night, yards from his location. \"Hailey? Seraph? Come on, boy. Where are you?\"\n\nCade glanced down, but he couldn't make out her tracks with the dried leaves. Tears stung his eyes and clogged his throat. \"Hailey! Seraph!\"\n\nThis was all his goddamn fault. If he hadn't started the fight with Avery, if he'd just kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't have scared the girl and she wouldn't have bolted. He swore to all that was holy, if something happened to her, he didn't think he'd survive it. Would never forgive himself. Just like Avery, Hailey had woven herself around his heart. So embedded, they were an extension of him.\n\n\"Hailey! Seraph!\" He tried to whistle, but his jaw trembled too much to form the motion.\n\nHelpless, he stopped and tugged at his hair in frustration.\n\nA whine pierced the air, so faint he thought it might be himself making the noise out of desperation. He froze, eyes scanning, breath clouding in front of his face. It was too damn dark.\n\nThere. It came again. Due east.\n\nHe ran in that direction. \"Hailey! Seraph!\" He broke through a cluster of trees and came to a dead stop near a hollowed log.\n\nSeraph sat on his hind legs, tail wagging. He barked, and Cade could've sworn the damn puppy smiled.\n\nHailey was next to him on the ground, rocking in place, staring heavenward.\n\nRelief sagged his shoulders as he knelt in front of her, gaze scanning for injuries. His heart nearly cracked ribs with the force of each beat.\n\n\"Hey, squirt. Are you hurt?\" His voice was unsteady, but he did his best to keep it calm, not illustrating the sheer panic when he couldn't find her. He'd freaked her out enough for one night.\n\nHailey, of course, didn't respond, didn't so much as look at him, but she was rocking, indicating she was unnerved. Her face was pale, aside from her bright pink cheeks. Her dark hair was windblown and knotted, but otherwise she seemed all right.\n\nAlive. Thank Christ in heaven.\n\n\"I'm going to touch you just to be sure you have no ouchies, yeah?\" He didn't give her time to react. He ran his shaking hands over her head, down her arms, across her torso, and finished with her legs, carefully watching her face. She didn't flinch or show distress.\n\nShrugging out of his coat, he wrapped Hailey inside and dialed Drake. \"I've got her. She's okay.\" His voice broke. He bit his tongue and cleared his throat. \"Head back and tell Avery. I'm on my way.\"\n\nDisconnecting, he slammed his eyes closed as hot tears leaked down his cheeks. He attempted to draw in a steady breath, but damn it... His chest cracked open, spilling the fear and guilt. His shoulders shook as he swiped a hand down his face, hunched over, and gave himself a minute to collect his shit.\n\nHailey might not be his own, but this glimpse into fatherhood, into what it was like to love someone more than anything else, was gutting. The determination to protect her surged deep, a call unlike anything he'd known. Hell, he'd do anything not to go through something like this again.\n\nNo. She wasn't his daughter. Not by blood. But somewhere in the space of a couple months, she'd become his in every way that mattered.\n\nHe shook his head, noticing her tiny pink socks were wet and soiled. He plopped on his ass to remove his shoes. \"I'm so sorry I scared you, squirt. We weren't fighting about you. Sometimes... Sometimes adults fight. But everything's all right now.\"\n\nRemoving her socks, he put them in his pockets and worked his own on over her little feet. The sight of her swimming in his coat and wearing his socks brought a fresh wave of tears. Shoving his bare feet back into his shoes, he stood.\n\n\"Please, _please,_ don't ever scare me like this again.\" He picked up Seraph and set him in her lap, then lifted both the dog and the girl into his arms. He stared down at her a moment, caught between affection and apprehension. \"I love you, squirt. Just so you know.\" He sighed. \"Let's get you home.\"\n\nShe didn't fight him, and most of her shivering had stopped by the time he reached the clearing near the cabin.\n\nRed and blue lights from the police cruiser were a beacon in the black inkiness. Drake and Flynn stood with Avery on the back deck, the sheriff off to the side talking to Justine and Gabby. They all looked up when he approached.\n\nAvery wailed and ran toward him, launching into his arms. Fresh tears trekked down her pale cheeks as she wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing Hailey between them. She took the girl from him, leaving his arms unbearably empty, and fell to her knees.\n\nSeraph loped off toward Gabby.\n\nCade glanced away and eyed his brothers, the relief evident in their eyes. If only Avery could see just how much these people, his family, loved her, too.\n\nThe energy drained out of him in a blink.\n\nGlancing back at her, he breathed for what felt like the first time in hours and cleared his throat. \"She's okay, sweetheart.\"\n\nHe wasn't okay, but at least Hailey was home safe. Everything else was a clusterfuck, but all's well and all that.\n\nAvery nodded repeatedly, running her hands over Hailey to check for injuries. Hailey was unusually complacent with the touch.\n\nNeeding a finger of whiskey and a hot shower, perhaps some bleach to scrub this night from his memory, he nodded to his brothers and walked around the cabin to his SUV. He was seconds from the worst adrenaline crash of his life. Hell if he was sticking around here for that.\n\nHe didn't answer the knock on his door at home an hour later when his brothers came calling. And he didn't respond to Avery's text, which only read: _Thank you._ He'd never made it to the liquor cabinet to pour whiskey, nor had he showered. Instead, he sat in his dark living room for hours, with Freeman lying across his feet and Cutin perched on his shoulder, while he tried to embrace the numbness.\n\nHe found himself missing his dad with a burning agony as if the loss was a fresh wound, and wishing the old man were here to tell him what to do. About Avery. About Hailey. About his feelings and future and how to handle this overwhelming need to take care of them both. Because Cade had no fucking clue.\n\nAll he did know was that despite all the crap that could go wrong, all the ways he could lose them, taking the risk was worth it. No matter the outcome.\n\nHe just had to prove that to Avery.\n\n# Chapter 25\n\nFrom the back deck steps, Avery smiled at Brent's attempts to play with Hailey by the riverbank. They were sitting on a log, Brent making girly sounds on behalf of the doll in his hand, and Hailey not taking the bait. She did laugh at Brent's antics a time or two, though. He'd come by after his shift at the clinic with the excuse to share his niece's Barbies with Hailey, but Avery suspected it was really a ploy to check up on her.\n\nWhich was fine. She'd needed the distraction from her heart-stopping scare. After the medics had checked out Hailey and Avery had gotten her settled in bed last night, she'd walked down the hall to find only Drake had remained behind. He'd insisted she take the rest of the week off, sat with her for an hour in quiet reassurance, and then left without another word.\n\nShe sighed. Strong, silent Drake. Flynn had been a godsend while the men were out searching. He'd paced with her, rubbed her back, paced some more. Both were so unlike their brother Cade it was hard to imagine they were related. They all had different degrees of humor and protectiveness, but Cade just...well, was different.\n\nCade hadn't responded to her text. She'd tried to call him today during his lunch hour, but it had gone right to voicemail. Their argument sat like lead in her belly. The fear in his eyes when they'd discovered Hailey gone tore at her heart. He loved her daughter. And he'd found her when Avery had been frozen in shock, too numb to move.\n\nFor years, it had just been her and Hailey. Even when Richard had still been in the picture, it was just them against the world. Cade had broken through the barrier she'd created to protect them both. He hadn't been afraid to let them in, to love her daughter, and she'd pushed him away with both hands.\n\nBefore Hailey had gone missing, Avery had intended to hash out their issues later, in the light of day and with a fresh mind. She was too raw from Richard's call, too overwhelmed at the time to think straight. When Cade had gotten short with Hailey, something inside her snapped.\n\nHad she been thinking rationally, she would have recognized Cade's apology immediately after he'd realized what he'd done. And he hadn't said sorry to Avery. He'd addressed Hailey himself. Something Richard would never have done.\n\nHeck, he was getting married and never thought to include his daughter.\n\nShe blinked and brought her surroundings into focus. The late afternoon sun was dipping west behind the tree line, creating long shadows and a chill in the air. The pink and purple hues of sunset reflected off the river behind Brent and Hailey. An owl hooted from that direction, and she loved the inquisitive noise. It beat the woodpecker driving her nuts in the mornings.\n\nDespite her initial reservations, and Camp Crystal Lake aside, it really was quite beautiful out here. It was getting to be peak season for tourism, though. Her mom would need the cabin back soon. Avery needed to amp up her apartment search. She'd sure miss this view.\n\nAs if reading her thoughts, her mom moved from a deck chair to sit beside Avery on the stairs. Her scent of patchouli rose over the pine and rain-dampened grass. She bumped Avery's shoulder with her own. \"I'm so glad you both are making friends. I knew transferring here would be good for you.\"\n\nAvery watched Brent and Hailey, unable to argue that point. Hailey was forming attachments in her own way, and was having fewer tantrums. In fact, Avery could count on one hand the number of fits since they'd moved to Redwood Ridge. Hailey also seemed more content, more...happy.\n\nShe sighed. \"Cade loves her an awful lot. You only have to look in his eyes to see it.\" Or note his actions when he thought no one was watching. That was the true test, the greatest illustration of his character. Heck, even his brothers were good with her.\n\n\"She's pretty hard not to love. You did a great job with her, honey.\" She paused a beat. \"I'm pretty sure Cade loves you as well.\"\n\nAvery closed her eyes. She knew that, too. \"I wasn't looking for love, Mom.\" She didn't want it, at least not initially. She'd barely survived the first time, and she hadn't loved Richard half as much or in the same way as she'd grown to love Cade.\n\n\"Well, take it from someone who knows. Whether you look for it or not, love finds you.\"\n\nSince Mom had been married four times before, Avery figured her mother was an expert in all things romance. Or was really, really bad at it. \"I don't know how you do it. How do you leave yourself vulnerable time and time again?\"\n\nHer mother looked out over the expanse of land and breathed deep. \"There's no greater feeling. The flutters when you first kiss, the putter of your heart when you know it's real. I live for that.\"\n\nAvery tried to remember a time when she'd felt those things with Richard, and came up blank. Being with Cade, on the other hand, was like riding a rollercoaster set for derailment.\n\n\"I've been chasing that feeling for almost twenty-eight years.\" Mom looked at her, and missing from her gaze was her typical airiness. \"I've loved other men since your father, but not as hard. So, I keep chasing it, hoping I'll find it again.\"\n\nThey never talked about her dad. Growing up, Avery had rarely asked and her mom wasn't forthcoming. Most of the time, she figured her mom didn't know who Avery's real father had been. \"What was he like?\"\n\nHer mother's smile grew wistful and distant. \"Like you, actually. You got my physical characteristics, but you inherited a lot of his personality.\" She leaned back on her elbows. \"He was...cautious. He never met a problem he couldn't solve or an emotion he couldn't master. Until I swept into his life. We had one wild, wonderful summer, and you were the result.\"\n\nPain filled her eyes, wrinkling her brow. \"I regretted not telling him about you, but he was destined for great things, and I didn't want to weigh him down. Then, this one day, you must've been three or four years old, I burned your grilled cheese sandwich. You put your little hands on your little hips and looked over your nose at me. I swear, you looked just like him.\" She sat forward, dropping her gaze. \"I decided to get in touch with him, only to find out he'd died in a boating accident the spring before.\"\n\nTears threatened, not for her own grief, she'd obviously never known her dad, but for her mother who clearly loved him even after all these years. Avery swallowed the tears and took her mother's hand. \"I'm so sorry, Mom.\"\n\n\"That's okay, honey.\" She kissed Avery's temple. \"I get a piece of him every day in you.\" She sighed, her breath fogging in the chilly air before her face.\n\nSuddenly, her mother looked her age. Years of life and laugh lines fanned around her eyes and mouth, punctuating the no-holds-barred way she lived. Not present on her face was regret, which made Avery wonder if, in twenty years, she'd have the same to say for herself.\n\nMom patted her hand. \"I don't want you to end up like me, loving too many people in a vain search for the one. But I don't want you to wind up like him either, so guarded about opening your heart that you miss love when it comes around.\"\n\nAvery inhaled slowly, filling her lungs. She had been doing that very thing her whole life, and she had to wonder now if it was genetic or taught. From day one, she'd been comparing Richard and Cade, weighing the similarities and differences. Not to measure them, but because the person she'd been with Richard was a vast cry from the person Cade brought out in her.\n\n\"You never loved Richard. I think you know that now since real love has entered your life.\" Mom grinned. \"He wears blue scrubs and a stethoscope, in case you were wondering who I meant.\"\n\nAvery laughed and dropped her head to her mom's shoulder. Maybe she should've taken more cues from her growing up. Sure, Mom forgot to charge her cell phone most days and she couldn't make a lasagna to save the homeless, but she was wiser than Avery had given her credit. \"Love you.\"\n\n\"Love you more.\"\n\n* * * *\n\nBy the time Friday rolled around, Avery was sick to death of her own company. She appreciated Drake giving her the time off, but she was crawling out of her skin. Which was interesting because before moving to Redwood Ridge, all she'd had was silence and Hailey. No friends, no job, no life.\n\nCade had texted this morning before his shift, letting her know he'd be over tonight to watch Hailey during her meeting. That's all the contact she'd had with him. In five days. One text. She was doing her best to give him space and let him think things through, but how was he supposed to do that without all the facts? The way they'd left things seemed like...an end.\n\nShe forced herself not to pick up the phone and call him, or snatch her keys to drive to the clinic. He said he'd be over tonight. She'd talk to him then.\n\nWhat other choice was there? Despite her protective stance and determination not to shift into her old pattern, she'd gone and fallen in love with Cade. Fallen hard for his humor and heart and heat. And because he was who he was, she knew she wouldn't regret it, even if they were over.\n\nUntil now, she hadn't been close to love. Not the real kind that hollowed her core when they weren't together, or made every stray thought drift to him, or made her laugh and cry and worry and hope.\n\nHer mother was right. She hadn't loved Richard. He had been a safety net. Settlement. The easy route she'd been too weak not to take.\n\nThere was no settling for Cade and no safety. With him, she didn't need those things. Because true security came from not being able to live without him and knowing, without any doubt, he felt the same. He'd put her first and do anything to make her happy. Without conditions and obligations. He'd been selflessly putting her back together from the beginning, and he hadn't been the one to break her in the first place. Men like Cade loved because they wanted to, because they had no choice. He was capable of the unguarded emotion in ways she'd never encountered or fully allowed of herself.\n\nHe'd catch her. Every time.\n\nIt made her sick to her stomach that he thought she didn't feel the same. In the past, she hadn't loved with bone-deep intensity, but she was smart enough to recognize it when it slammed into her chest.\n\nBlowing out a breath, she donned her coat and picked up Hailey from school. Back at the cabin, she settled Hailey at the table with her device and kept herself busy by making chili, lest she go insane waiting for Cade to arrive.\n\nHe walked in the front door just as Avery set two bowls on the table with a basket of rolls. Without glancing up, he stripped off his coat and hung it neatly on the peg. His boots were next, which he set by the door. He stepped into the kitchen and all the air evaporated.\n\nStill wearing his scrubs, the muscles of his arms and chest filled the dark blue material. Her heart fluttered and desire pooled in her belly. Her mom had been right about that, too. Any lingering doubt about loving him was erased. No wonder Mom chased this feeling. There was nothing like it.\n\nTaking a seat next to Hailey, Cade peeked over her shoulder at the device. \"What's up, squirt? Can I play?\"\n\nHailey squealed and flapped her hands.\n\nA grin split his face and he tapped the screen, placing an X on the tic-tac-toe app.\n\nAvery's stomach twisted into knots, her throat tight. He hadn't looked at her once. He smiled at Hailey, but there were shadows under his eyes as if he hadn't slept, and his shoulders sagged.\n\n\"Hi,\" she breathed. \"I made chili.\" She pinched her eyes closed at her lame attempt to start conversation.\n\nHis glance darted to the bowls. \"Smells good. We'll finish this game and dig in.\"\n\nStill no eye contact and his tone was as flat as the table.\n\n\"Can we talk?\" She twisted her fingers together and fisted them to stop. All she wanted was to run her hands through his hair and force him to look at her. Pull him in for a kiss and tell him how stupid she'd been.\n\nHis back tensed as he ran his hand over his neck. Several beats passed before he turned his head in her direction, but the blue of his eyes didn't lift to hers. \"Later, when you get home.\"\n\nDid he say that because he didn't want to discuss things in front of Hailey? Worried he'd raise his voice again and scare her? Did he not want to dump Avery with her daughter around?\n\nHeck, for all she knew, he was concerned about global warming or crop circles for all the indication he was giving.\n\nHer stomach threatened to revolt. This shielded, defensive man before her wasn't her Cade, wasn't the man she fell in love with.\n\n\"Cade...\"\n\nHis eyes closed for a moment, brows pinched as if in pain before he shook his head. When he spoke, his voice was weary and soft. \"Later, sweetheart. Go to your meeting.\"\n\n_Sweetheart._ If he used his endearment, that had to be a good sign, right?\n\nThey were going to be discussing the St. Patrick's potluck at the meeting. Mostly groundwork and ideas. The sooner she got there, the sooner she could get back and put herself out of this limbo misery. Perhaps she could even feign exhaustion and cut the pow-wow short a half hour early.\n\nShrugging into her coat, she kissed Hailey and said good-bye.\n\nShe couldn't attest to anything discussed at the meeting because she'd spent the entire time fidgeting in her seat, checking her phone, and dissecting every syllable that had escaped Cade's mouth. Since he'd only said a grand total of three sentences to her, the reliving was brief. Yet she'd scrutinized and dismembered those three sentences, analyzing the inflection of his voice until she'd nearly pulled her hair out with frustration.\n\nBlessedly, no one stopped her to chat on the way out, and she was able to drive home without wrapping the car around a tree. A miracle, considering her distracted state.\n\nCade's car wasn't parked out front when she arrived.\n\nPanic squeezed her throat as she fumbled with the seatbelt and exited the car. The lights were on, casting a warm, yellow glow from the cabin as she barreled up the porch steps. She was about to shove through the door when she noticed a small piece of paper taped to the glass above the knob.\n\nWe're at my house. Meet you there. ~Cade\n\nHis house? What were they doing there? It was past Hailey's bedtime. Plus, he'd never taken her anywhere while he'd watched her in the past. She checked her phone, but she hadn't missed a call.\n\nShe froze. Something was wrong.\n\nTrembling, she raced back to the car and sped down the tree-lined road toward Cade's place.\n\n# Chapter 26\n\nCade sat across from Hailey on the bed and practiced their project one last time on her iPad before Avery arrived. He suspected this was what the girl had been trying to show him on the device the night she'd found him and Avery in an argument, which only made him love Hailey even more.\n\nChecking his watch again, the acid in his gut became volcanic. Avery would be here any minute.\n\nAll week it had been a battle not to go over to her house, not to call or answer her texts. He missed her so damn much he'd gotten a collective eight hours of sleep between the time he'd walked out of her cabin and last night. He'd forced food down and went through the motions at work, all to bide his time to get to tonight.\n\nHe'd wanted her to have time to think, to get settled after their argument and reach her own conclusions without his interference. He could only hope she missed him half as much as he did her. If she didn't, all his plans and arrangements would be for naught.\n\nTruth was, he could wait her out. Yeah, he'd been impatient as of late, but when he picked apart her actions, her reactions, he knew their relationship would eventually lead where he wanted. She loved him. She might not know it yet or trust herself with the knowledge, but she loved him.\n\nExcept sitting on his hands and abiding by patience was not what she'd walk into any minute, nor was it working. And what he'd done would either throw her into his arms or have her bolting. He couldn't be sure which, but he had to do something. This holding pattern was killing him dead.\n\nThe front door slammed and Cade's heart tripped at the thud.\n\n\"Cade?\" Avery's voice floated up to him.\n\nHe sucked a harsh inhale and looked at Hailey. \"Showtime, squirt. You ready?\"\n\nShe squealed and flapped her hands.\n\n\"Cade?\"\n\nAvery's tone was panicked, so he rose quickly. \"Wait here. Be right back.\"\n\nLeaving the bedroom, he rounded the corner and stopped at the top of the stairs. \"Up here.\"\n\nShe darted to the base of the steps and stopped. \"What's wrong? Where's Hailey?\"\n\nDamn. Scaring her to death wasn't in the plan. \"She's upstairs. She's fine.\"\n\nHunching over, she grabbed her chest and exhaled.\n\nHe met her halfway up the steps and ran his hands down her arms. \"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you.\"\n\nShe closed her eyes and nodded, her shoulders deflating.\n\nCompletely unprepared for what seeing her would do to him, he drank in the sight of her. It had only been a few days, but it had been the longest few days of his damn life. Before she'd left for her meeting, he couldn't look at her or he would've lost it.\n\nHis chest filled to capacity, and his throat suddenly grew tight. She had on a minimal amount of makeup, her chestnut hair was up in a hazard ponytail, and she wore nothing more fancy than jeans with a T-shirt under her coat, but she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on.\n\nThat was the thing that tugged at his gut the most. She didn't have to do or be anything but herself and he wanted her. No frills or fluff. She didn't cling or pretend or coax. Avery was real and genuine and simple.\n\nHer chocolate gaze met his, flecks of honey swimming in all that brown, and he pretty much stopped breathing. If eyes were the window to the soul, as the saying went, then her windows had just been wiped clean. Finally, there was no hesitation or restraint. She was wide open, looking at him as if her heart was there for the taking.\n\nLifting his arms, he stripped her coat off and tossed it down the stairs, then cupped her cheeks in his hands. \"I missed you.\"\n\nRelief filled her eyes. When, _when_ would she stop doubting him?\n\n\"I missed you, too. About what I said earlier this week, I'm sorry.\" A pained expression twisted her face. \"I don't want to hurt you for anything. You should know, I don't think I ever loved him, and I'm done letting the past cloud the present. I\u2014\"\n\nHe kissed her softly, not to shut her up, but to stop the excuse. He didn't need an explanation. He just needed her. He got why she'd said those things. Honestly, he did. He couldn't even blame her, but if it was the last thing he ever did, he was going to make her understand that he'd never treat her the way that bastard had.\n\nShe sighed when he pulled away, her warm breath skating across his jaw. Slowly, her heavy lids lifted and her gaze darted around. The hazy seduction began to clear. \"Why are you guys at your place, anyway? You've never taken Hailey to your\u2014\"\n\nHer gaze landed on the pictures he'd hung on the wall in alignment with the slope of the staircase. Five in total. One of him with both his parents after graduation. Another with him and his brothers outside the clinic last fall. A cute shot of Avery and Hailey he'd snapped on his phone during their snow excursion. Hailey and Seraph on the floor in front of the fireplace, playing tug-of-war, was closest to his favorite.\n\nThat honor belonged to the photo he'd stolen off Pinterest...him and Avery dancing. In her knockout red dress and him in his suit, she was smiling up at him. One of his hands cradled her face and the other was low on her back. Lights twinkled behind them. Cade had no idea who'd taken the picture, but he was grateful. One look at them and it was obvious she was his whole world.\n\nMaybe she'd finally get that.\n\nHer voice was thick when she broke the silence. \"When did you hang these?\" She was still staring at the pictures, so he couldn't read her reaction, but her body didn't stiffen against his.\n\n\"This week.\"\n\nHer gaze darted to his, and something battled in her eyes. Hope? \"After our fight?\"\n\nUnderstanding dawned. The frustrating woman thought he was done with their relationship and hanging pictures meant he wasn't. \"Yes, after our fight.\" He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, the knot in his chest loosening as he inhaled her scent and touched her soft skin. \"I have something to show you. Come upstairs.\"\n\nShe nodded and he took her hand, leading her to what was once an empty bedroom he'd had no clue what to do with. He knew now, though.\n\nSwallowing hard, he pushed the door open and stepped inside, dropping Avery's hand to give her breathing room. She halted over the threshold and gasped.\n\nThe dogs were sitting on the bed, battling for Hailey's attention. She was busy playing on her device, paying them no mind.\n\n\"Oh, my God.\" Avery pressed a hand to her forehead.\n\nWas that a _this-is-awesome_ Oh my God or a _holy-shit_ Oh my God? He couldn't tell and, at the moment, she only offered her profile.\n\nDeciding that keeping his mouth shut was the best recourse until she gave him some direction to her thoughts, he took in the bedroom again as if trying to see it through her eyes.\n\nThe room was painted a light pink with a mural of a life-sized dollhouse on one wall. The lacey curtains over the bay window were white to match the new furniture\u2014a full-sized bed and dresser. There were throw pillows all over the floor because Hailey liked pillows, and a small table in the corner.\n\nAvery made a choking sound, and he feared he'd gone too far.\n\nNeeding to explain, he rubbed his neck. \"You said you needed to move out of the cabin before tourist season started. Instead of getting an apartment, I thought maybe you could move in here. With me.\"\n\nHer wide gaze whipped to his, and he snapped his jaw closed. Why the hell could he never say the right thing when it concerned her? The point was to try and ease her into things, and he was mucking it up.\n\n\"This would be Hailey's room. Obviously. Zoe painted the mural for her. Gabby picked out the furniture. The pillows were all me.\" Hell. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.\n\nWhen he opened them, she hadn't moved one iota and looked like he could knock her over with a feather. Then\u2014 _damn it_ \u2014tears started pooling in her eyes and panic took on a new name.\n\n\"You don't have to decide right away. Or do anything now. The offer's there, if you want it. Open for as long as you need.\" _Christ. Shut it, O'Grady._\n\nSilence hung.\n\nHailey squealed, drawing their attention to her. She bounced on the mattress, gaze trained up and hands flapping, making the dogs bark. At least one of his girls liked the idea of staying with him.\n\nHe couldn't take the silence. Walking to the bed, he sat on the edge and turned on the iPad. If he looked at Avery and found her closed up tight, he'd lose it, so he kept his gaze down.\n\n\"Cade...\"\n\nHe shook his head at her quivering, quiet voice. _Don't say no, sweetheart. Please._\n\nScrolling through the apps, he attempted one more time to explain. \"I know we haven't been together long, and I know you're scared. But this thing between us? It's real. I think about you all the time, and I want you in my life. Both of you.\"\n\nHell. He wanted to be a family.\n\nFinding the app he needed, he called Hailey to him and had her stand between his knees. \"Ready, squirt? Show your mom what we've been working on.\"\n\nHailey's finger hovered over the button a few seconds before she tapped the icon and a robotic voice said, \"Eye.\" Moving on to the next key, she tapped \"Heart\" with no hesitation.\n\nCade's gut clenched. This next one always stumped Hailey when they'd worked on their project.\n\nHailey paused, but after a moment, she tapped... \"U.\"\n\nCade threw his hands up and barked a laugh. \"Yeah! That's my girl. Knuckles.\" He held out his hand and she bumped her fist to his. \"She kept getting stuck on that last part, but...\" He looked up at Avery and did a double take.\n\nTears streamed down her pale cheeks, eyes red-rimmed and puffy. Her forehead was scrunched, her lips parted, and her breathing labored like she was on the verge of hyperventilating. With her hand fisting her shirt over her chest, she uttered some form of a startled noise as her gaze darted between him and Hailey.\n\n\"You...\" She pressed her lips together and wheezed. \"You taught her to say _I love you_?\"\n\n\"Uh...not exactly.\" He shot to his feet, worried she was going to collapse and wanting to be ready to catch her. \"We couldn't find a \"love\" button, so we had to go with heart.\" He shrugged.\n\nDamn if her breathing didn't grow more labored.\n\nShit. It dawned on him he hadn't said the words to her. He'd planned to start off this whole crazy tirade with that and got lost in his frayed nerves instead.\n\nGrabbing the device from the bed, he tapped out, \"Eye. Heart. You.\" Then he added his own ending. \"Two.\"\n\nThere it was. She could take it or leave it. He should probably warn her that if she chose the latter, he'd chase her to the ends of the earth and back.\n\nOr maybe she knew because finally\u2014thank Almighty, _finally_ \u2014a grin broke out on her face and she sucked in an uneven breath.\n\nJust in case he wasn't clear enough...\"I love you. Move in with me today, or next week, or next year. I don't care when, as long as you promise to do it eventually. When you get used to the idea of us living together, and my socks on the floor or my snoring doesn't bother you, then I'll ask you to marry me. I think it might be too soon for a proposal today, but you're it for me. Just know it's coming. Baby steps.\"\n\nHe had point five seconds to take in her watery, ragged laugh before she launched herself at him and pressed her lips to his. He stumbled backward and grabbed her ass, righting them before they fell.\n\nHell. Yes. Right where she belonged.\n\nSliding one hand into her hair, he deepened the kiss, stroking his tongue with hers, tasting the salty saline of her tears. She kissed him with no restraint, meeting him in the middle and pouring so much emotion into the act he almost got weepy himself. His heart was so happy it turned over behind his ribs.\n\nWhen oxygen became vital again, he eased back to look in her eyes. \"I'll have you know, this is very inappropriate behavior to do in front of a child.\"\n\nShe grinned and glanced at the bed. \"She's asleep.\"\n\nWith Avery still in his arms, he turned. Sure enough, Hailey was out cold. \"My plan worked. You have to spend the night with me.\" He pointed to the dogs. \"Stay.\"\n\nThen he cinched Avery higher so she could wrap her legs around his waist. He shut off the light before heading down the hallway to his bedroom. _Their_ bedroom.\n\n\"I heart you, too, Cade.\"\n\nHe came to an abrupt halt beside the bed. \"Is that a yes?\"\n\n\"To which part?\"\n\n\"Any of it. All of it. Take your pick. In fact\u2014\"\n\nShe laughed, the smoky sound sealing all the empty spaces in his soul. \"Never mind. I love you. A yes to everything. Now say it back and then take me to bed.\"\n\n\" _It back_ ,\" he teased, then laid her out on the sheets and followed her down. He pressed a kiss to her cheek. \"I do love you back.\" He kissed her other cheek. \"And front.\" Kissing her forehead, he whispered, \"And top.\" His lips trailed to her chin. \"And bottom. I love you everywhere in between.\"\n\nWrapping her arms around his neck, she laughed and nuzzled his jaw. \"Okay, okay. I get it.\"\n\nHe stared down at her, at everything he never knew he wanted but somehow got anyway. \"There was never a doubt in my mind, sweetheart.\"\nCheck out a preview for the next Redwood Ridge book _,_\n\n# Tracking You...\n\n# Chapter 1\n\nGabby Cosette smoothed her hand down the simple baby blue sundress she meticulously picked out for this evening and tried not to look too eager. Or throw up. That wouldn't do, either.\n\nFrom a back booth, she glanced around the only Italian restaurant in Redwood Ridge, comforted by the fact it was still early yet for the dinner rush. The place was a good choice. Right? Not as casual as Shooters\u2014the bar her and her friends frequented\u2014but not as formal as one of the seafood restaurants that dotted their Oregon coastal town. A step above grabbing coffee or a beer, yet it didn't scream desperation.\n\nWas a booth in the back too obvious? Had she overdone it with her makeup? Maybe she should've put her hair up instead of down?\n\nNo, no. She went for light and natural on purpose. The patrons of Redwood Ridge had known her all her life. It wasn't far out of the realm of ordinary for her to wear a dress and light cosmetics. She was being a basket case.\n\nIt's just... Well, she hadn't had a date in a year. A year!\n\nTo calm her nerves, she drew in a deep breath and focused on the red checkered tablecloth. A votive candle flickered on the windowsill to her right, the flame reflecting off the tinted glass. The parking lot stretched beyond, where her date's car was not in one of the available spots.\n\nIt was silly to get this worked up over a first date, especially with Tom. She'd gone to elementary and high school with him. His parents still lived down the street from hers. Strange how he'd never shown any interest in her romantically, yet out of the blue, he'd asked her out this week.\n\nThen again, most everyone in town viewed her as the sweet Cosette girl, everyone's friend. Thus the no date in a year. It was hard to get a guy to think about kissing her, never mind imagining her naked, when she had platonic all but tattooed on her forehead.\n\nThe waitress strolled over in her apron, holding a notepad in her hand. \"Are you waiting on someone, sweetie pie?\"\n\n\"Yes.\" She smiled and grabbed her cell on the table. Tom was five minutes late. \"He should be here any minute.\"\n\n\"Ooh. Is it a date?\" Mavis planted a hand on her plump waist and grinned, the wrinkles around her eyes growing to crevices. Gabby wasn't sure how old Mavis was, no one really knew, but she never seemed to age past the state from when Gabby was a child.\n\nGabby opened her mouth to answer, but Tom strode toward her, weaving around tables and plopping in the seat across the booth.\n\n\"Couldn't find ya at the bar. I wasn't expecting a table.\"\n\nIt was still early, and Le Italy didn't get that crowded even on a Friday night. How hard could it possibly have been to locate her? \"Give us a sec,\" she told Mavis and waited for her to step away.\n\nTom had blond hair too short for her preference and a thin mouth. His unremarkable brown gaze darted around the restaurant and back to her. He made no attempt to apologize for being late, and it appeared as if he'd just come from work. His jeans and T-shirt were paint-splattered. The hazard of working for his dad's commercial painting and roofing company.\n\n\"Thanks for meeting me.\" He took off his ball cap and scratched his head.\n\nWhy did that sound un-date-like? \"Um...sure thing. How's work going?\" Her gaze dipped to his hands, no better off than his clothes. Maybe she should've picked Shooters after all.\n\nSomething felt very, very off as her belly twisted. Not with nerves this time. Confused, Gabby's mind scrolled through their conversation from earlier in the week when he'd brought his dog into the vet clinic where she worked. As he was checking out, he'd anxiously spun around to face her and asked if she could meet him tonight.\n\n\"Good. Work's good.\" He put his hat back on and glanced outside. \"Getting to be warmer out, so the jobs are picking up.\"\n\nPerhaps he was just nervous, too. Her tension drained a degree.\n\nMavis returned and asked for a drink order.\n\nTom lifted his hand to wave her off. \"Nothing for me, thanks. I can't stay long. Got a poker game with the guys tonight. I need to shower before they show up.\"\n\nThe forced smile Gabby had plastered on her face began to wilt like her mom's petunias in August. What did he mean he couldn't stay long? And why would he ask her out and schedule a card game on the same night? Plus, he could shower for his friends, but not her?\n\nMavis divided her gaze between them, a mix of bewilderment and irritation lifting her brows. She tapped her pen to her pad as the silence hung. \"Can I get _you_ something?\" She focused on Gabby, her tone indicating she should order something.\n\n\"I'll have a sweet tea. Thank you.\" When the waitress walked away, Gabby looked at Tom. He'd thrown his arm over the back of the booth and had stretched his legs out. The aroma of Ode de Paint Thinner wafted across the table. \"So...?\"\n\n\"Right, right.\" Tom leaned forward and crossed his arms. \"I appreciate you letting me do this in person.\"\n\nShe stilled. \"Do what?\" Because she was definitely getting the this-is-not-a-date vibe now.\n\nA warring shift in contradiction took over her body. Everything inside grew rapidly chilly while her skin heated in what she hoped wasn't a blush. Her pale complexion always gave away her emotions, and she hated that more than she'd hated freshman algebra. Math was evil.\n\nHe let out a tense laugh, which sounded more like a guffaw, and drew several heads from other diners. \"Not exactly a conversation you want to have over the phone or somethin', ya know?\"\n\nNo. She didn't know. \"Maybe if you just tell me?\"\n\nHe played with the parmesan shaker, not meeting her gaze. \"Well, the whole town's buzzing about Rachel and Jeff's split.\"\n\nShe frowned, not connecting the dots on his crazy pattern. Her older sister had only dated Jeff for a few weeks which, per Rachel standards, might as well have been marriage. Rachel liked to keep her options\u2014and legs\u2014open.\n\nGuilt immediately consumed her for the crass thought, but it didn't make it any less true. She and Rachel couldn't be any more different. Rachel was aloof and sexy. Gabby was the girl next door. Men desired Rachel. The only thing they desired from Gabby was a shoulder to cry on after her sister shot them down.\n\nShe twirled a strand of hair around her finger to keep from fidgeting. \"I don't understand what Rachel and Jeff have to do with...\" Unable to finish the sentence\u2014because she had no idea anymore what \"this\" was\u2014she waved her hand between them.\n\n\"Well,\" he said in an aw-shucks kind of way that made her want to grind her teeth, \"now that Rachel's available, I thought maybe you could put in a good word for me?\" He blinked up at her hopefully.\n\nShe stared at him for several stunned beats.\n\nThe reality of the situation slowly crept into her head and shoved around her skull. Her stomach dropped somewhere near her ankles. When he'd asked her out at the clinic earlier this week, she supposed he hadn't actually asked her \"out.\" The phrasing he'd used had been something more like, _Can you meet up with me on Friday?_\n\nAnd stupid, stupid her had taken that to mean he wanted a date.\n\nAs if. Like anyone would ever be interested in her when her sister had gotten all the good genes and didn't have the reputation of being everyone's pal. Good ole Gabby.\n\n\"This wasn't a date,\" she muttered to herself, more to ground herself to the situation than for confirmation.\n\n\"Huh?\"\n\nClosing her eyes, she shook her head to let Tom know her utterance wasn't important. To him, it wasn't. Because she wasn't the one he wanted, and there was no sense in amplifying her mortification. It wasn't his fault she'd brainlessly gotten excited.\n\nGod, she was an idiot.\n\nHer heart sank a little as hope withered a painful death. She shouldn't be surprised, really. It wasn't like this was the first time someone had tried to use her as a go-between. If not with her sister, then her friends. Still, she'd been looking forward to tonight, had thought it was a blessed break in her dry spell.\n\nA lump formed in her throat as tears threatened. She looked around the room until she could get the pathetic emotions under control. Many of the tables had filled since she'd arrived. Man, if she started crying now...\n\n\"So what do you say?\" Tom set the shaker aside. \"Could you help a friend out?\"\n\nFriend. She nearly choked on the word. Instead, she cleared her throat and forced a smile. Who was she to stand in the way of potential true love? \"Of course. I'll talk to her tomorrow.\"\n\nHis nervous grin widened into something more genuine, drawing attention to the slight crookedness of his two front teeth. \"You're the best, Gabby.\"\n\nYep. That was her. She resisted patting her own back in a sarcastic response.\n\nDid she really want a relationship with him, anyway? Probably not. He wasn't classically handsome, but he had his charms. His looks didn't matter to her as long as he had a good heart or sense of humor. It was more the idea of having someone that appealed.\n\nWhich was not going to happen. Not tonight.\n\nTom rose from his seat and tipped his ball cap as if it were a Stetson. \"Thanks so much. I gotta go.\"\n\nOf course. Alone again. Maybe she should become a poet. It had worked for Hemmingway.\n\nShe nodded. Her gaze followed him to the front door, and then over to the bar where she was thinking of doing a little Cuervo therapy.\n\nFlynn was leaning against the bar, his direct sights on her. Still wearing his dark blue scrubs, his posture resonated his typical laid-back demeanor. Now there was an attractive man. Tall enough for the top of her head to reach his chin and ropey muscle on an athletic build. Wide shoulders, narrow waist.\n\nAll three of the O'Grady brothers were sexy in their own unique way. But they'd grown up together, and there had never been any chemistry between her and them. Cade, the youngest brother, was engaged to their office manager as of a couple months ago, and Drake, the eldest brother, was a widow. Gabby couldn't envision him dating again, at least not anytime soon. Flynn wasn't seeing anyone.\n\nNot that it mattered. She worked for Flynn and his brothers at their vet clinic, so that was an automatic hand-slap.\n\nFrom across the room, Flynn's eyes narrowed as he tilted his head in question toward the door. _Where'd your date go?_\n\nFlynn was deaf, and through the years she'd grown to read him easily. They always had a strong connection, being able to understand one another without words. Part of that was being good friends and part was due to working closely together for many years.\n\nShe shrugged in answer, keeping her disappointed expression open for him. Sucked to be her.\n\nHis brows lowered and he straightened from the bar, poised to head over until the bartender tapped his shoulder. Flynn signed for his takeout and carried it over to her booth, setting the bag down on the table before sitting.\n\nHis hazel eyes, framed by criminally long lashes, swept her face. \" _What happened?\"_ he signed with his hands. \" _I thought you had a date?\"_\n\nPer their routine, she signed and spoke simultaneously. \"Me, too. Turns out he wanted my help getting in with my sister.\" At his scowl, she shrugged, embarrassed enough without the urge to discuss it. \"My own fault. I read too much into the initial conversation.\"\n\nHe stared at her with disbelief and shook his head. His handsome, angular face was dialed to irritated and his full lips were twisted. He ran a hand through dark strawberry blond hair just this side of wavy. Flynn had a tendency to forget routine trims.\n\nMavis made her way back to the booth. Her gaze zeroed in on Flynn. \"Decided to eat in?\"\n\nHabit had him turning to Gabby. He could read lips, but sometimes people spoke too quickly or didn't face him fully so he couldn't see what they were saying. Gabby signed Mavis' question.\n\nHe grinned, back to his usual glower-free self, and nodded.\n\nWell, it wasn't a date, but Flynn was better company, anyway. Gabby looked at the waitress. \"He'll have a beer, whatever's on tap, and can I get the largest piece of tiramisu you can find?\"\n\n\"You got it, sweetie pie.\"\n\nGabby watched her walk away before letting out a sigh, chest deflating. When she looked at Flynn, his expression indicated he was patiently waiting for her attention again.\n\nHe leaned forward as if to punctuate a point. _\"He's an asshole_.\"\n\nShe laughed. \"Aren't they all?\"\n\n_\"Not all.\"_ He pulled a Styrofoam container of lasagna from the to-go bag, opened it, and grabbed her fork from her place setting. He waited for her to take it from him before signing, \" _Dig in.\"_\n\nHe picked up his fork and took a bite, then did a double take when she just poked at his lasagna. \" _Hey. You all right?\"_\n\n\"I'll be okay. Just not today. Today, I mope.\" He was one of the few people she'd admit that to, and since his gaze had softened and worry wrinkled his brow, she forced herself to take a bite. \"Thanks, Flynn.\"\n\nHe nodded, watching her intently. \" _Movie night. My house. I'll even let you pick_.\"\n\nWhy the hell wasn't he dating someone? Seriously.\n\nSad truth was, women tended to overlook Flynn because of his disability, just like they overlooked her for being in the friend zone. People sucked. \"Maybe we should make one of those pacts. You know, the one where if neither of us is married by the time we're thirty we marry each other.\"\n\nOne eyebrow quirked in his custom you-done-gone-crazy. \" _I'm thirty-one and you turn the same in a couple weeks. That ship has sailed.\"_\n\nYeah. \"Fine. Throw logic into my delusions.\"\n\nHis shoulders bounced in a silent laugh.\n\nShe smiled. \"Okay, hot date. What if I pick a sappy movie?\"\n\nHe shrugged. \" _I'll hide my man card. Tell no one_.\"\n\nCovering her face, she laughed until her chest ached. When she sobered, her mood was irrevocably lighter. Praise God for good friends. \"Just for that, I'll share my tiramisu.\"\n\n_\"Deal.\"_ He ate a few more forkfuls before his smile slipped a fraction, the hint of seriousness reflecting in his eyes. \" _For the record, I would've taken the pact_.\"\n\nShe dropped her chin in her hand before moving to sign. \"We would've had such cute babies, too.\"\n\n_\"Word. Now eat or I'll make you watch_ Die Hard _again_.\"\n\nShe scooped a bite of cheesy carb goodness. Calories didn't count on crappy days. \"Which one?\"\n\nHe whipped her a \"duh\" look. \" _All of them_.\"\n\nDeath by Bruce Willis. Could be worse things.\n\n# Meet the Author\n\nBestselling author Kelly Moran says she gets her ideas from everyone and everything around her and there's always a book playing out in her head. No one who knows her bats an eyelash when she talks to herself, and no one is safe from becoming her next fictional character. She is a Catherine Award winner, Readers Choice finalist, Holt Medallion Finalist, and earned one of the 10 Best Reads by _USA Today's_ HEA. She is also a Romance Writers of America member. Her interests include: sappy movies, MLB, NFL, driving others insane, and sleeping when she can. She is a closet caffeine junkie and chocoholic, but don't tell anyone. She resides in Wisconsin with her husband, three sons, and two dogs. Most of her family lives in the Carolinas, so she spends a lot of time there as well. She loves hearing from her readers. Please visit her at authorkellymoran.com, twitter.com\/authorkmoran, or facebook.com\/authorkellymoran.\n","meta":{"redpajama_set_name":"RedPajamaBook"}}
+{"text":" \n#  \n\n#  \nCopyright \u00a9 2013 by Dean R. Owen\n\nAll rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.\n\nSkyhorse Publishing books may be purchased in bulk at special discounts for sales promotion, corporate gifts, fund-raising, or educational purposes. Special editions can also be created to specifications. For details, contact the Special Sales Department, Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018 or info@skyhorsepublishing.com.\n\nSkyhorse\u00ae and Skyhorse Publishing\u00ae are registered trademarks of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.\u00ae, a Delaware corporation.\n\nVisit our website at www.skyhorsepublishing.com.\n\n10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1\n\nLibrary of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.\n\nCover design by Brian Peterson\n\nCover photo credit \u00a9 Tom Dillard Collection, Dallas Morning News, Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza\n\nPaperback ISBN: 978-1-63450-272-6\n\nHardcover ISBN: 978-1-62636-034-1\n\nEbook ISBN: 978-1-5107-0739-9\n\nPrinted in the United States of America\nTo my other and more important legacy: my wife of thirty years, Janet B. Owen; our older daughter and son-in-law, Whitney, and Josh Hammar; our younger daughter, Embry Wood Owen; and my parents, Edward and Elvira Owen, who taught me life's most important lesson, reflected in Luke: 6:31.\nTABLE OF CONTENTS\n\nForeword\n\nPreface\n\nAcknowledgements\n\nIntroduction\n\nSECTION ONE\n\nMembers of the Kennedy Administration and White House staff\n\nLetitia Baldrige Hollensteiner\u2014White House Social Secretary, expert on etiquette\n\nJoseph A. Califano Jr.\u2014Senior official in the Pentagon, Carter administration cabinet member\n\nMortimer M. Caplin\u2014Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service, founder of Caplin & Drysdale\n\nCharles U. Daly\u2014White House congressional liaison, writer\n\nJohn Gunther Dean\u2014Senior State Department diplomat\n\nClint Hill\u2014U.S. Secret Service agent\n\nHarold Hill\u2014White House communications officer\n\nLem Johns\u2014U.S. Secret Service agent\n\nNicholas deB. Katzenbach\u2014Deputy Attorney General, Attorney General in the Johnson administration\n\nNewton N. Minow\u2014Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission\n\nNelson C. Pierce\u2014White House usher\n\nSue Vogelsinger\u2014White House press aide\n\nLee C. White\u2014Special Counsel to the President\n\nHarris Wofford\u2014Special Assistant to the President on Civil Rights, Associate Director of the Peace Corps, Peace Corps director in Ethiopia, U.S. senator\n\nSECTION TWO\n\nCivil Rights Leaders\n\nJulian Bond\u2014Founding member of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee, chairman of the National Association for Advancement of Colored People, professor\n\nDolores Huerta\u2014Labor leader, advocate for rights of workers, immigrants, and women, co-founder of the National Farm Workers Association\n\nJohn Lewis\u2014Chairman of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, Freedom Rider, author, member of United States House of Representatives\n\nRoger Wilkins\u2014Assistant to the Administrator of the United States Agency for International Development, Assistant Attorney General in Johnson administration, Pulitzer Prize\u2013winning journalist, professor\n\nAndrew Young\u2014Executive Director of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, mayor of Atlanta, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations during Carter administration\n\nSECTION THREE\n\nChildren of Kennedy Advisors and Others\n\nDavid Acheson\u2014Attorney, scholar, son of former Secretary of State Dean Acheson\n\nFernando Chavez\u2014Attorney, son of Cesar Chavez, co-founder of the National Farm Workers Association\n\nNancy, Kate, and Walter Jr. (\"Chip\") Cronkite\u2014Children of Walter Cronkite, former CBS News anchor\n\nCasey Murrow\u2014Educator, son of Edward R. Murrow, journalist, director of United States Information Agency\n\nCraig McNamara\u2014Organic farmer, son of Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense\n\nDavid Rusk\u2014Urban policy expert, scholar, son of Dean Rusk, Secretary of State\n\nSteven Schlesinger\u2014United Nations expert, scholar, son of Arthur Schlesinger Jr., Special Assistant to the President\n\nJim Swindal\u2014Physicist, son of James Swindal, pilot of Air Force One\n\nSECTION FOUR\n\nCelebrities\n\nVincent Bugliosi\u2014Attorney, author\n\nRev. Billy Graham\u2014Christian evangelist\n\nLee Iacocca\u2014America industrialist\n\nJimmy Piersall\u2014Major League Baseball player, author\n\nCliff Robertson\u2014Actor\n\nAlex Trebek\u2014Television personality\n\nSECTION FIVE\n\nFamily and Friends\n\nDr. Bob Arnot\u2014Physician, journalist, author\n\nCharles Bartlett\u2014Journalist, introduced John Kennedy to Jacqueline Bouvier\n\nBenjamin C. Bradlee\u2014Journalist\n\nRobert F. Kennedy\u2014Brother, Attorney General, United States Senator, Democratic Presidential Candidate\n\nRobert F. Kennedy Jr.\u2014Nephew, environmental activist\n\nChristopher Kennedy Lawford\u2014Nephew, author, filmmaker\n\nFrank Mankiewicz\u2014Peace Corps director in Peru, president of NPR, press secretary to Robert F. Kennedy\n\nJohn Seigenthaler Sr.\u2014Journalist, author, First Amendment historian\n\nSECTION SIX\n\nJournalists and Commentators\n\nEddie Barker\u2014KRLD Dallas, first journalist to confirm Kennedy's death\n\nTom Brokaw\u2014NBC News\n\nBob Clark\u2014ABC News, only journalist to cover assassinations of both John and Robert Kennedy\n\nSid Davis\u2014Westinghouse Broadcasting Company, NBC News, witnessed swearing in of Lyndon Johnson\n\nNicholas Gage\u2014Writer for The New York Times and other publications, author\n\nBob Jackson\u2014Dallas Times-Herald, captured Pulitzer Prize\u2013winning image of Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald\n\nMarianne Means\u2014Writer for Hearst newspapers\n\nMichael Medved\u2014Author, syndicated radio show host, commentator\n\nAl Neuharth\u2014Author, founder of USA Today, the Freedom Forum, and the Newseum\n\nBob Schieffer\u2014CBS News\n\nSanford Socolow\u2014CBS News\n\nAl Spivak\u2014United Press International, participated in the Kennedy-Nixon debates in 1960\n\nStan Stearns\u2014United Press International, captured iconic photo of John Kennedy Jr. saluting his father's casket\n\nRichard Stolley\u2014LIFE magazine, negotiated the rights to the only film of the assassination\n\nSander Vanocur\u2014NBC News and ABC News\n\nSECTION SEVEN\n\nPolitical Figures\n\nBarry Goldwater Jr.\u2014Member of the United States House of Representatives, businessman, son of U.S. Senator and 1964 Republican presidential nominee Barry Goldwater\n\nGary Hart\u2014Member of the United States Senate, Democratic presidential candidate\n\nKen Hechler\u2014Member of the United States House of Representatives, state official from West Virginia\n\nPete McCloskey\u2014Member of the United States House of Representatives, attorney\n\nWalter Mondale\u2014Vice President of the United States, member of the United States Senate, 1984 Democratic presidential nominee\n\nJim Wright\u2014Speaker of the United States House of Representatives\n\nSECTION EIGHT\n\nThose with Humorous, Poignant, Quirky, and Tragic Encounters and Connections\n\nPatricia Baillargeon\u2014Assistant to Eleanor Roosevelt\n\nDr. William Bernhard\u2014Surgeon who fought for thirty hours to save the life of Patrick Bouvier Kennedy\n\nJim Boyd\u2014Medical student working at Parkland Memorial Hospital\n\nLillian Brown\u2014Make-up artist for JFK and eight other presidents\n\nJosiah Bunting III\u2014Military officer, educator, foundation executive\n\nArthur \"Andy\" Carlson\u2014Army officer who led riderless horse \"Black Jack\" in funeral\n\nRobert Dellwo\u2014Attorney and county Democratic chairman\n\nPhyllis Elkins\u2014Waitress at Jim's Steak and Spaghetti House, Huntington, West Virginia\n\nRichard Gaudreau\u2014Military pallbearer\n\nMike Gefroh\u2014Little Leaguer who caught a ceremonial first pitch\n\nFrank Greer\u2014Senate page, media advisor to U.S. Presidents William Jefferson Clinton and Barack Obama\n\nRon Hall\u2014Artist, art dealer, author, coincidental bystander to assassination\n\nCatharine Hamm\u2014Travel writer and editor, Catholic who still grieves\n\nTerri Hazeleur\u2014Led thirty-one girls walking all night to meet the president\n\nFather Oscar Huber\u2014Catholic priest who administered the Last Rites\n\nDavid W. Knowlton\u2014West Point graduate with a foreboding premonition\n\nJames Leavelle\u2014Dallas police detective handcuffed to Lee Harvey Oswald\n\nPriscilla Johnson McMillan\u2014Knew both John Kennedy and Lee Harvey Oswald\n\nAnn Owens\u2014Inspired by \"Ask Not...\" to join the Peace Corps\n\nRuth Paine\u2014Living with Marina Oswald at the time of the assassination\n\nDr. Ira Seiler\u2014Pediatric resident who saved the life of John Kennedy Jr., born not breathing\n\nSamuel Stern\u2014Staff member of the Warren Commission\n  FOREWORD\n\nIT is hard to believe fifty years have passed since John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the most inspired and inspiring of any president I covered, was assassinated in Dallas.\n\nFor journalists, his election three years earlier ushered in a new era of excitement and anticipation, marked by the memorable reference in his inaugural address: \"Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans.\" At age forty-three, he was the youngest president ever elected. (Theodore Roosevelt ascended to the presidency at age forty-two after William McKinley's assassination.) Kennedy was the first president born in the twentieth century. He had an abundance of charm, elegance, wit, and humor. Other presidents enjoyed some of those qualities, but John Kennedy had them all, and he used them effectively.\n\nFor example, responding to allegations of nepotism with the appointment of his brother Robert as attorney general, the President, speaking at Washington's Gridiron Dinner six weeks after taking office, remarked: \"Bobby has just received his law degree and we thought he should have some experience before he goes into private practice.\" Or at the conclusion of a state visit to France accompanied by his wife, he quipped, \"I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris and I have enjoyed it.\"\n\nWhen Dean Owen contacted me in March of 2011, he already had been working on this book for four months. In November 22, 1963 he has compiled a series of reflections from people that reveal diverse perspectives and engaging anecdotes. Many people in this book are well known: Kennedy family members, civil rights leaders, journalists, and people who served in JFK's administration. Others are unknown to the general public, but provide interesting and poignant stories, some never before told: a second-year pediatric resident who saved John Kennedy Jr.'s life when he was born not breathing; children of Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow, as well as those of Kennedy's advisors, such as Robert McNamara, Dean Acheson, and Arthur Schlesinger Jr.; the surgeon who tried desperately for thirty hours to save the life of the Kennedys' second son, Patrick; and one of, if not the only, person who knew both John Kennedy and Lee Harvey Oswald.\n\nI believe people from all walks of life, including those for whom John Kennedy's life and legacy comprise a footnote in a history book, will find in November 22, 1963 compelling commentaries about an engaging leader whose presidency remains one of the most studied in our nation's history.\n\nLike anyone old enough to remember that tragic day, the events of November 22, 1963 and the following weekend are etched indelibly in my mind. The day before I watched the president and Jackie walk across the South Lawn of the White House and board the presidential helicopter. He was holding his son's hand. All three flew to Andrews Air Force Base; John Jr. loved helicopters and airplanes and the president probably wanted to indulge him. The little boy, who would turn three the following Monday, the day his dad was buried, was driven back to the White House later that morning.\n\nThe next day, I was having lunch with Fran Lewine of the Associated Press and Pierrette Spiegler, a member of Mrs. Kennedy's staff. I was preparing to leave Saturday for Detroit to visit my family. Suddenly, we heard on a transistor radio that Kennedy had been shot. All of us bolted out of the restaurant, hailed cabs, and went to our offices.\n\nMy boss, Julius Frandsen, saw me and said, \"You're on vacation.\"\n\nI said, \"No, I'm not.\"\n\nLater I was told, \"OK, go to Andrews Air Force Base. You're going to Dallas.\"\n\nA plane was standing by to take journalists to Dallas, and en route to the air base in a cab, I heard the official announcement: The president was dead.\n\nI was stunned. And I did not want to believe it. I soon learned Lyndon Johnson had taken the oath of office and that he, Jackie, and John Kennedy's body were returning to Washington on Air Force One. Upon their arrival at Andrews, I was struck by the fact Jackie still was wearing the bloodstained suit. That took a lot of bravery on her part.\n\nOver the next three days, I covered every event at the White House involving the funeral. I stood on the steps of St. Matthew's Cathedral when Jackie and the family entered. It is unusual and uncharacteristic for reporters to cry while they are working; we're not supposed to show emotion. But I was dictating to UPI with tears running from my eyes.\n\nJohn Kennedy understood his time was short, that he had a rendezvous with death. The deaths of a sister and brother during World War II, as well as the horrors of war he experienced in the South Pacific, may have given him a sense of melancholy and foreboding.\n\nHe also had an infectious sense of hope and optimism for the future. The sky was not the limit. He believed in setting goals and taking steps to achieve them. John Kennedy instilled in young people the belief that public service was honorable and could be the capstones of their careers. He also wanted to demonstrate the American promise of excellence to other countries and so created the Peace Corps. He had his eyes on the stars and challenged the nation to send a man to the moon and bring him back to earth safely before the end of the 1960s, an historic achievement he did not live to witness.\n\nOne of his campaign themes in 1960 was \"A time for greatness.\" That greatness he envisioned is reflected in the remarks he would have delivered at a luncheon that fateful day in Dallas:\n\n\"Finally, it should be clear by now that a nation can be no stronger abroad than she is at home. Only an America which practices what it preaches about equal rights and social justice will be respected by those whose choice affects our future. Only an America which has fully educated its citizens is fully capable of tackling the complex problems and perceiving the hidden dangers of the world in which we live. And only an America which is growing and prospering economically can sustain the worldwide defenses of freedom, while demonstrating to all concerned the opportunities of our system and society.\"\n\nAs I have said so often, \"Thank you, Mr. President.\"\n\nHelen Thomas\n\nWashington, D.C.\n\nFebruary, 2013\n  PREFACE\n\nMAJOR, sudden, and tragic events create unforgettable images, mental snapshots that enable people, decades later, to recall where they were when they heard the news: the September 11 attacks; the deaths of John Lennon and Diana, princess of Wales; Pearl Harbor.\n\nFor me and millions of others age fifty-five and over, it was the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. November 22, 1963 will forever be known for the shock and horror when the charismatic leader of the free world was killed with a gunshot to the head in Dealey Plaza in Dallas.\n\nI was seven years old in Mrs. Gurley's second grade class in Burbank School in Hayward, California. The older sister of a friend stopped by the classroom and told me the president had been shot. Like many of those whose reflections are in this book, I greeted the news with disbelief: \"Oh, yeah, sure.\"\n\nLater that afternoon and over the next three days, I was riveted to the television and read everything in the local newspapers about the details of Kennedy's assassination. Fifty years later, I can still hear the solemn funeral dirges and muffled drumbeats of the funeral procession from the White House to the Capitol. Then, Sunday morning, I watched Jack Ruby shoot the accused assassin, Lee Harvey Oswald, live on television.\n\nAs Tom Brokaw remarks in section six of this book, \"The television set was, if you will, the centrifuge for the country. Everybody drew from it in some fashion.\" For me, that weekend was the catalyst for my fascination with journalism and how the news media shape public opinion.\n\nIn December of 2010, I turned fifty-five, wondering about my legacy, and I realized everyone has two legacies\u2014a personal one and a professional one. The former is solid, as reflected in this book's dedication. For the latter, I decided to go back to that weekend in 1963, made a list of more than one hundred people I wanted to interview, and started making phone calls and writing letters.\n\nMy pitch was simple: Each person was offered the opportunity to review and edit a transcript of the interview, and I would not ask any questions about assassination conspiracy theories or John Kennedy's sex life. More than enough words have been written about both topics. After nearly two and a half years of early mornings, late nights, and long weekends, November 22, 1963 is presented for your interest and enjoyment. I intentionally omitted any summation or analysis of the contributors' reflections, and prefer to allow readers to draw their own conclusions about the life, assassination, and legacy of America's 35th president.\n\nDean R. Owen\n\nSeattle, Washington\n\nMarch, 2013\n  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS\n\nCREATING November 22, 1963 has been a labor of love, but could not have been accomplished without those I interviewed, for whom I am deeply grateful, as well the encouragement of family and friends. Many thanks to all of you, including: Gardi Wilks, my literary agent Marilyn Allen, Roger Flessing, Tom Parks, Ken Churchill, Manen Clements, Debbie Durham, Jeff Peabody, Steve McFarland, my brothers Dennis and Don Owen, Jeff Wright, Jeff Warnke, John Leckie, M. Joseph Sloan, Eddy Rodriguez, my mother-in-law Shirley Biggerstaff, Kari Costanza, Mike McLeod, John Yeager, Paul Nordlund, Betsy Grabinski, Bill Wolfsthal and colleagues at Skyhorse Publishing, Doug Boyles, Bill Dotterwick, Hope Swecker, Rachel Cota Hochstetler, Brian Vasey, Katy Krippaehne, John Jensen, Dave Wittenberg, Margaret Larson, Char Haake, Steve Matthews, John Clum, and Laurie Austin at the John F. Kennedy Library.\n  INTRODUCTION\n\nTHEIR names read like a \"Who's Who\" of the past six decades: White House reporter Helen Thomas, House Speaker Jim Wright, civil rights leader Julian Bond, journalist Benjamin Bradlee, publisher and author Al Neuharth, Attorney General Nicholas deB. Katzenbach, White House social secretary Letitia Baldrige, actor Cliff Robertson, Peace Corps director Frank Mankiewicz, and journalist John Seigenthaler, Sr.\n\nThey all knew John Fitzgerald Kennedy. More importantly, their observations and insights into America's 35th president have helped paint a portrait of a man whose legacy will outlive all of us.\n\nSadly, they and many others whose reflections you will read in this book have passed away, their voices and memories never again to be heard.\n\nWith each passing year, people who worked for JFK, journalists who covered him, family members, close friends, and others are leaving us. Their recollections are now in the archives of the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, the Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza, and elsewhere around the world. All are invaluable resources for anyone seeking to understand him.\n\n\"The preservation of these firsthand recollections is a crucial tool to understanding the broader story of the 1960s, including the frustration and skepticism that punctuated that turbulent decade,\" says Stephen Fagin, Associate Curator of the Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza.\n\nThat broader story of the era began with a slogan from John Kennedy's 1960 presidential campaign, \"Leadership for the 60s.\" For him, it continued over the next thousand days through the clarion call of his inaugural address, the debacle of the Bay of Pigs, a contentious meeting in Vienna with Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev, his challenge to send a man to the moon, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the inspirational speech in Berlin, and the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty.\n\nAnd then... Dallas.\n\n\"The assassination of President Kennedy touched the lives of people around the world,\" Mr. Fagin says. \"Today, memories of that moment provide emotional, insightful, and often poignant links to the past which enable younger generations to invest themselves in the experience and better appreciate the global significance of this tragic event and its vast and complex aftermath.... Collections like [this book] remind us that those few seconds in Dealey Plaza continue to impact our lives in so many ways.\"\n\nAnyone who wants to know more about John Kennedy\u2014beyond the lurid allegations of his extramarital affairs or the complex and convoluted assassination conspiracy theories\u2014should visit the museums in Boston and Dallas. They should watch his speeches and press conferences on YouTube and read some of the well-researched and documented books on his life. He was brilliant but flawed. He was vigorous but suffered great physical pain. He was a visionary but also a pragmatist.\n\nAs a former journalist, John Kennedy knew the power of words. As president, he gave some of the most powerful and poignant speeches of the twentieth century. His words and the words of those interviewed in this book will live on for generations.\n\nDean R. Owen\n\nSeattle, July 2015\nSECTION ONE:\n\nMembers of the Kennedy Administration and White House Staff\n  Letitia Baldrige Hollensteiner\n\nWhite House Social Secretary, expert on etiquette\n\n\"When the president has people sticking to him like parasites and not letting go, I managed to get in there and uproot both of them, and let him escape.\"\n\nTHE first time I met him was on a train going to Newport, Rhode Island for a weekend in the summer. He had been elected to the Senate, and he was already being talked about as a handsome young man. Very, very ambitious. Member of a large political family. I already had heard all the gossip about him. And he personified it all.\n\nHe was so good looking and had a great sense of humor. And he had been everywhere in the world. It was an enthusiastic first sighting [laughter].\n\nWe were both going to stay at Jackie's mother's house, Hammersmith Farm. I would have loved to have spoken with him more that weekend, but there were too many people at him\u2014or after him. I could hardly get in a word.\n\nWhen the president has people sticking to him like parasites and not letting go, I managed to get in there and uproot both of them, and let him escape. That's where I was needed and that's one of the things a social secretary does. She watches over the boss, the host, and never lets him out of her sight, and removes anything that's too abrasive, too forceful, too boring. There are so many reasons to get rid of people who are surrounding your president, or your ambassador, whoever it is. You must get rid of those people, and let the ambassador or the president do his job. You take all the criticism and let people hate you. But you're doing it for the boss.\n\nExcerpt from A Lady First: My Life in the Kennedy White House and the American Embassies of Paris and Rome, by Letitia Baldrige \u00a9 2001 (Used with permission of author):\n\nI had just sat down to lunch with Town & Country magazine editor-in-chief Henry Sell at the Mid-America Club atop the Prudential skyscraper. In the middle of our chicken crepes, a waiter brought us some more wine and said, 'I can't believe it. Someone has shot the president.'\n\nIt was an extraordinary moment in my life. I couldn't believe it. In fact, I'm shaking my head right now as I'm saying this. It shouldn't have happened.\n\nI called the White House and spoke with Clark Clifford. He said, \"Get on a plane and come down here.\"\n\nI arrived in Washington, went to the White House, and stayed there for the next seven or eight days. I was involved in a little bit of everything: protocols, greeting people, calming people down, getting information for people. It was a time none of us will ever forget.\n\nJackie was completely stunned. She was appreciative of my help later. But while it was going on, she was stunned. And she handled herself with beauty and grace. She knew it was the funeral of the century. Everything was planned. The words she used. It was all carefully thought out. It was a script on how to plan a state funeral. She would think, \"This would mean so much to the children\"\u2014some particular phrase. She was incredible.\n\nYou just adored the man! He would not dwell on anything that was sad or gloomy. He was funny about anything that he could be funny about, and he taught us all how to do that. He would say, \"Don't dwell on that, that sad stuff. Start talking about what happened at the such and such.\"\n\nHe taught us public relations in many ways. He knew about public relations and he knew how to use it, how to control it. He was a real teacher. He was so naturally aware of the world. I've never known anyone like that. That was one of his major talents that most people don't think about, because they're so into the one talent or skill being discussed at the moment. But people should look at him with a wide lens. He had a wonderful team of people around him, but he would not have had them if he had not been an extraordinary person. The team devotes loyalty to its leader and grows more loyal when they see it in the leader.\n\nI was in contact with Jackie every once in a while after she left the White House. It was always in conjunction with some meeting. She worked very hard. She always had something on her plate. She would call me and ask me, and I would come spend a few days working with her on the event or activity. She was always grateful.\n\nThe main part of his legacy is to reach out to the young\u2014ages eight to eighty. He would have something to say to each group. To motivate them, to make them feel they have a real place in the government, in our country, and in future aspirations of this country. He was always thinking of the future, and how one issue or event would affect another.\n  Joseph A. Califano Jr.\n\nSenior official in the Pentagon, Carter administration cabinet member\n\n\"(Robert Kennedy) whispered to me: 'This is where we'll bury the President.' I will never forget the words.\"\n\nI first noticed John Kennedy watching the 1956 Democratic convention on television. I was twenty-seven years old and working in the Office of the Judge Advocate General in Washington. Adlai Stevenson had thrown open the nomination for vice president to the delegates and Kennedy mounted a strong\u2014though ultimately unsuccessful\u2014effort against Estes Kefauver, the Democratic senator from Tennessee.\n\nAt that time, Kennedy had little going for him besides the glamour and wealth of his family and his socially prominent wife, Jacqueline Bouvier. But he came astonishingly close and lost to Kefauver by fewer than two hundred votes. I was impressed watching him make a politically adept and gracious appeal to the delegates to unanimously nominate his rival.\n\nFast-forward three and a half years. I woke up on February 20, 1960 ready to enjoy a long weekend for the George Washington birthday holiday. I had recently purchased James MacGregor Burns's campaign biography, John F. Kennedy: A Political Profile, after seeing so many news stories about John Kennedy's campaign for the presidency\u2014the first Catholic to seek the presidency since Al Smith in 1928. I spent most of the weekend reading that book.\n\nI identified with Kennedy as a strong anti-Communist Catholic, a cold warrior committed to defeating the atheistic Soviet Union\u2014a true struggle of good against evil. He also expressed concern for the poor and underprivileged, which was in line with the commitment to social justice that the Jesuits at Holy Cross and Brooklyn Prep had instilled in me. Burns wrote that Kennedy believed it was essential to \"track down the best talent\" to lead the United States in this \"revolutionary time.\" As a former editor of the Harvard Law Review, I believed I swam in that talent pool.\n\nA month later, I contacted John Stillman, a college friend of JFK who was chair of a New York area chapter of the Democratic Party, and enclosed my resume, indicating I was \"quite anxious to do anything that will further Senator Kennedy's candidacy.\" He wrote back and we later had lunch in Manhattan. I came away inspired. And three days later, I received a letter stating:\n\n\"I am very glad to know that you are in contact with our mutual friend John Stillman and you may be sure that I am most appreciative of your interest and support. I hope you will keep in close touch with John, as he will be aware of our plans in New York.\"\n\nIt was signed \"Jack Kennedy.\" And I immediately felt part of the campaign.\n\nFour days before the election in November, I saw John Kennedy for the first time\u2014standing in the rain at a rally in Manhattan. He was on stage with Lyndon Johnson and Johnson's wife and two daughters. The rain intensified our excitement as it drenched our clothes (and Kennedy's and Johnson's). He gave an ardent and amusing campaign speech: \"You have seen these elephants in the circus. They have their heads of ivory, thick skins, no vision, long memory, and when they move around the ring in the circus, they grab the tail of the elephant in front of them. Well, Dick (Nixon) grabbed that tail in 1952 and 1956, but in 1960 he is running, not the president.\"\n\nFive months later, I took my first steps as a member of Kennedy's \"New Frontier.\" My position? Special assistant to Cyrus Vance, the Defense Department's General Counsel. Over the next two and a half years, I served as Special Assistant to the Secretary of the Army and later General Counsel of the Army.\n\nOne of my proudest moments, indeed, one of the greatest moments of Kennedy's presidency, was his televised address to the nation on civil rights in June of 1963. He made an impressive argument: \"We are confronted with a moral issue. It is as old as Scriptures and as clear as the American Constitution. The heart of the question is whether all Americans will be afforded equal rights and equal opportunities, whether we are going to treat our fellow Americans as we want to be treated.\"\n\nThat statement came out of a meeting in the White House at which there was a discussion among several of his advisors, then-Vice President Johnson, and JFK regarding their concern about the politics of the whole civil rights movement, because of the damage it was doing among white voters, including white Democrats. In the course of that meeting, there was a wonderful exchange in which one of Kennedy's political advisors raised all these issues and Lyndon Johnson said, \"Wait a minute. This is a moral issue; this is not a political issue.\" There was silence for a minute. Everyone looked at Kennedy and the president said, \"Lyndon's right.\"\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was in West Virginia inspecting a dam built by the U.S. Corps of Engineers. When I heard the tragic news out of Dallas, I flew immediately back to Washington and hurried into Vance's office and promptly informed him I was leaving the administration. He suggested I reconsider and, in the meantime, I had a new and urgent project: locate the burial place for John F. Kennedy.\n\nThe next day, I met a devastated, zombie-like Robert F. Kennedy at Arlington National Cemetery. In the pouring rain, we walked the perimeter of a 3.2-acre parcel of land above the Memorial Bridge and below the Lee-Custis Mansion. He whispered to me: \"This is where we'll bury the President.\" I will never forget the words.\n\nJohn Kennedy inspired me to enter public service. From ringing doorbells in the 1960 campaign to my work today in association with the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, I have felt this calling. By playing a role in the struggle against substance abuse, I believe I am fulfilling his admonition, \"To those whom much is given, much is expected.\"\n\nKennedy's legacy is one of courage, hope, and determination. He was courageous during the Cuban Missile Crisis, standing up not only to Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev, but also to the American generals anxious to launch attacks on Cuba. He inspired hope in millions of young Americans that our nation and the world could flourish by their service to the less fortunate, both here and abroad. And he was determined to expand our exploration of space and land a man on the moon.\n\nThose profound words in his inaugural address, \"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country,\" are still a clarion call a half century later.\n  Mortimer M. Caplin\n\nCommissioner of the Internal Revenue Service, founder of Caplin & Drysdale\n\n\"He was like a caged lion\u2014walking up and down the room, smoking the small cigarillos he enjoyed so much.\"\n\nI first met John F. Kennedy in 1958 at the University of Virginia where I was teaching at the law school. JFK was the honored speaker at Memorial Gymnasium celebrating the first \"Law Day\" set by President Dwight Eisenhower to mark United States' commitment to the rule of law. John S. Battle, former Governor of Virginia, introduced him as, \"The next president of the United States!\" You could hear the crowd gasp. A Virginia audience. And here, the son of a high Episcopalian minister was presenting a Roman Catholic as the next president of the United States.\n\nWe had a small gathering that evening at the home of William C. Battle, who had served in the Navy with JFK during World War II. Bill was the son of the former governor and one of his law partners. It was a great party\u2014hardly more than a dozen guests. Jackie was there, too. She was lovely.\n\nI taught two of JFK's brothers at UVA law, Robert and Edward, and also spent part of my time as counsel to the Battle firm. JFK knew I was teaching and asked about my recent testimony on tax reform before the House Ways and Means Committee. He asked that I send him a copy, which I was very happy to do.\n\nAs a professor at a state university, I found it prudent to publicly keep out of the 1960 political campaign, although I did write a brief piece in support of JFK in the Charlottesville Daily Progress. Sure enough, JFK won the election and in early December I received a telephone call from his principal aide, Ted Sorensen, asking me to serve on the President's Task Force on Taxation. The group met over a period of roughly a month, putting together a report on reforming our tax laws and stimulating our economy. On January 9, 1961, we delivered the report to the president-elect at Arthur Schlesinger's home in Cambridge.\n\nThe president-elect soon joined us. He was something to see: The pressures and strains of a close campaign had stretched him beyond belief. He just oozed confidence. Now, back from a brief vacation with his father in Florida, he was all tanned and lean. He was like a caged lion\u2014walking up and down the room, smoking the small cigarillos he enjoyed so much. We summarized our report and discussed his reactions and suggestions. He was well aware of our key issues and had already considered them with outside economists and others. We had a lively meeting.\n\nAfter we finished, JFK took me aside for a moment and said, \"Now, I want to talk to you. You'll be hearing from me or from Bobby in a week or so.\" That's all I wanted to know. While it certainly was on my mind, this was the first meaningful signal I'd had that a presidential appointment might indeed take place.\n\nI'd previously spoken by telephone with Robert Kennedy. He asked me to fly up and visit with him in Washington at the Democratic National Committee headquarters where he was quarterbacking appointments for posts in the new administration. I thought my meeting with Bob would be rather simple\u2014his former professor, brother Ted's professor, Bill Battle's law partner\u2014what could be better! And yet, while Bob was very cordial, he was also very business-like. We went through the interview in some detail and he then asked me to write him a letter on my views on tax administration in general and what I thought it would be like to head the IRS. I later wrote the letter, and it ultimately became my proxy statement and commitment on what I'd emphasize and how I'd run the IRS. It was sent to him December 5, 1960.\n\nNot much later, I received a telephone call from a local IRS revenue agent who said he was coming to my office to audit my tax returns. While the agent was still there, we were interrupted by a telephone call from the White House. It was the president's assistant press secretary, Andy Hatcher, who said, \"I'm going to announce this afternoon that you're the president's nominee for commissioner of the IRS.\"\n\nAfter the phone call from the White House, I immediately went to Washington and waited for the formal nomination and hearings. Matters moved far more quickly in those days, and the IRS commissioner was given a good deal more attention. In fact, my nomination was referred to the committee on January 30, confirmed by the committee on February l, and confirmed by the Senate itself on February 6. My official certificate of appointment had President Kennedy's signature on it the following day, February 7, 1961. Very hard to believe!\n\nMy first meeting with all my regional commissioners and district directors at the IRS was set for May 1, 1961. In making arrangements in March, someone in my office suggested, \"Wouldn't it be great if the president could come?\"\n\nI hadn't fully taken into account the magnitude of what was said. But I did call Kenny O'Donnell, the de facto chief of staff at the White House. I told him how important this would be to the IRS and to me. Kenny immediately replied, \"Are you kidding? Come on, there are no votes at the IRS!\"\n\nI called Bob Kennedy after that and raised the same question. He said he didn't know but would see. A week or so later, we were talking about something else and at the close he said, \"Oh, incidentally, Jack will be over.\"\n\nThat was the last time I heard him say, \"Jack.\" It was all so new. After that, it was always, \"the president.\"\n\nThe president did come over on May 1, 1961. It is the only time in history\u2014to this very day\u2014that any president has ever visited the IRS. The president's visit had me walking on water with the whole organization.\n\nPresident Kennedy was very supportive of the IRS, but totally hands off. All the way. There were very few times he called for any special treatment. On one occasion very early in the administration, he called to talk about some IRS related matter and then asked, \"Have you found a house yet, commissioner?\" I had been out house-hunting. You could see the smile on his face.\n\nDuring the Bay of Pigs crisis, I did hear from JFK through Ted Sorensen. The message was for a tax exemption ruling for a private group seeking release of the Cuban prisoners captured on the beach. Supported by the White House, certain prominent citizens\u2014Eleanor Roosevelt, Walter Reuther, Milton Eisenhower\u2014organized \"Tractors for Freedom\" to raise funds to finance exchanges of farm machinery for the prisoners. Castro had agreed to the exchange, but it was important to assure tax deductions for donors. At the same time, an uproar took place in Congress criticizing what some said was equivalent to the U.S. government paying ransom directly.\n\nI was very hesitant about the phone call. I didn't want to issue the ruling unless we had time to study the law. But fortunately, our lawyers saved the day when they uncovered, among other things, an old English statute, the Statute of Elizabeth I, which clearly treated payment of ransom as a charitable act. A favorable IRS ruling was quickly issued.\n\nLater, the agreement with Fidel Castro was changed making food and medicine, not tractors, the swap. It was much easier for the public to accept; but we did have a number of valuation battles with donor companies seeking to increase tax deductions.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, in the middle of an IRS business meeting with my top people, we were suddenly interrupted by the head of our inspection service, Mike Acree. Mike rushed in and whispered in my ear that he'd just heard the president had been shot. In a minute or so it was announced on the general news. Then other people started coming into the office saying, \"We just heard it over the radio.\" The room was hushed. The meeting had just begun; I looked around and said right away, \"We have to call this off. We better go home.\" The room cleared immediately.\n\nNext day, we\u2014all the Cabinet officers and presidential appointees\u2014were invited to the White House to view the casket. I later went downstairs to get my automobile and saw, standing against the wall waiting for his car, President Lyndon Johnson. He saw me, immediately stepped forward and put those big hands of his on my shoulders saying, \"Mortimer, I need you, Mortimer. I need you.\" He was trying to get as many Kennedy people as he could to stay in the administration with him.\n\nJohn F. Kennedy was an inspiration to all of us. He was a vibrant man with extraordinary intelligence and vitality. When he came to office after President Eisenhower, there was an unbelievable excitement throughout the country.\n\nHis inaugural address stressed the importance of public service, the theme he enlarged upon later at Vanderbilt University when he urged all, particularly the student body, \"to act, to enter the lists of public service.\" I had former students writing and calling\u2014and young people throughout the country\u2014who wanted to be a part of this, this special period in U.S. history. I put JFK very high on the list of our presidents.\n\nJFK was a devoted student of Thomas Jefferson, who in writing to an old friend said, \"There is a debt of service due from every man to his country, proportioned to the bounties which nature and fortune have measured to him.\"\n\nJefferson wrote this in 1796.\n\nSome 165 years later, in his inaugural address, JFK underscored this same call to service with the message, \"And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.\"\n\nIt was a privilege for me to serve, and I look back on this time as the best years of my life.\n  Charles U. Daly\n\nWhite House congressional liaison, writer\n\n\"I feel fortunate to have been associated with this person who really did have vision. He was not perfect. From the waist down he had the same habits of his father. So what?\"\n\nI went to the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism and was awarded an American Political Science Association fellowship under which I spent eight months working with congressmen\u2014three in the House and three in the Senate. I chose Stewart Udall because he was from the West. In California, I had become interested in conservation. He (Udall) had a very open office. He was one of Kennedy's early supporters, so he suggested I take the other half of my fellowship with Kennedy.\n\nI had not been active in politics at all. By instinct, I was an FDR-Stevenson Democrat. I didn't think much of old Joe Kennedy, due to his record as weak on Hitler, and I didn't know a whole lot about his kids. But I thought, \"This could be interesting.\" So I went over to JFK's office, where I was welcomed due to Udall's good boost.\n\nDuring my fellowship with Kennedy, the best relationship I had was with Ted Sorensen. I had combined my fellowship with work for the Democratic Study Group which provided campaign information for House members more liberal than their national party. It became hectic. I could sense too many campaign stooges only focusing on positions in what they hoped would be a new administration. I decided to opt out.\n\n(A few years later) I was in the shower one day in our home in Menlo Park, California when my wife said, \"The White House is on the phone.\" It was Larry O'Brien, Kennedy's special assistant for congressional relations. He said many of the northern and western liberal members of Congress were being overlooked. He asked if I would come back to help out. We agreed I would call back ASAP.\n\nI (traveled to Washington) and went down to the Executive Office Building. They had no record of me! A guard called to a sentry at the northwest gate of the White House who said I was expected there. I went over and was ushered in and met Larry and his staff. He showed me my office. I was amazed: a big corner office on the second floor of the West Wing. \"That's yours.\" It was huge.\n\nJohn Kennedy's crew was very compartmentalized. Staff in the West Wing apparatus had little contact with staff in the East Wing. The exception was Arthur Schlesinger Jr. I think Kennedy figured him to be what he was\u2014a most able historian who worshipped at the Kennedy altar. Members of Congress had little direct contact with the president, so it was up to me to make my charges feel close to him.\n\nA good example of Kennedy's personal touch involves Dick Donahue, who was a vital member of O'Brien's staff. There was a congressman from Toledo, Ohio, Lud Ashley, whose dad had busted his hip during celebrations just before the inauguration.(The congressman's father) Old Meredith, who enjoyed a drink as much as the rest of us, ended up in Bethesda Naval Hospital. The night before the inauguration, at a party put on by Joe Kennedy, Congressman Ashley ran into Dick, whom he had never met before. Dick, as irreverent then as he is now, said, \"I'm sorry your father got drunk and broke his ass.\" Lud responded, \"Well, fuck you, pal.\" A great start to a new president's key staff man to start a relationship with an important member of Congress!\n\nOn the morning of the inauguration, Meredith Ashley was in in his bed of pain at the hospital. A Marine sergeant, his uniform still wet from the blizzard outside, handed him a big brown envelope. \"I've been ordered to deliver this to you.\" Inside was an advance copy of the inaugural address. At the top, John Kennedy had written: \"Dear Mr. Ashley, I am sorry to hear from Dick Donahue of your unfortunate accident. Hope you will enjoy reading parts of this address I'm going to give later on today.\"\n\nLater, when I introduced myself to Congressman Ashley as the new presidential assistant responsible for White House relations, he told me the story, adding, \"You've got an easy job with me.\" Lud and I became very close and remained so until the day he died.\n\nNovember 22, 1963, started as a slow day. It was a Friday and most of the Congress usually worked Tuesday through Thursday. I was sitting at round table in the White House mess, at the members-only table, that most exclusive of restaurants operated by the Navy in the West Wing's basement.\n\nAround 1:30, (Presidential Assistant Jack) McNally came in and just said very quietly, \"The president's been shot.\"\n\n\"How bad?\" I asked.\n\n\"I don't know,\" he replied.\n\nI darted up to my office and called (my wife) Mary.\n\nShe said, \"They've killed him.\"\n\nI responded, \"No they haven't. I've been shot and I'm not dead.\"\n\nI went down to the press office. No one was there except for (Special Counsel to the President) Lee White. (Assistant Press Secretary Malcolm) Killduf was in Dallas. I read the first AP bulletin, which said, \"President Kennedy was shot today as his motorcade left downtown Dallas.\"\n\nThen came the second bulletin. He was dead.\n\nThe president was going to be taken to Andrews Air Force Base. I thought about going there, but decided I didn't want to go out there\u2014or anywhere. So I sat down on my old brown leather sofa for a while, watching television as the president, inside a box, was being lowered on a forklift and then into an ambulance headed for Bethesda and an autopsy.\n\nAround midnight, I walked out on the little patio behind the president's office. It was a beautiful night. Henry Wilson (White House Liaison with the House of Representatives) came by, followed by Evelyn Lincoln, the President's secretary, hugging herself.\n\nAround four o'clock someone from the northwest gate of the White House called. \"The president's being brought in.\" I went down. There were floodlights focused on the road and the shadowy mass of a crowd beyond. I went to the East Wing. The windows were covered with black drapes. I left. Sometime later I wandered back. The casket was atop an elevated black catafalque. Now there was an honor guard and priests. Fortunately, the lid was closed. (During the Korean War) I had seen heads shattered by bullets, so I tried not to envision the mess under that lid. Then I thought of Mrs. Kennedy in that car, her husband's brains on her outfit. That was tough.\n\nOn Saturday morning, the mail arrived. Most of it was sent before the assassination. But there was one letter\u2014I don't know how it arrived so fast, perhaps hand-delivered\u2014sent by a congressman from California. I read it then threw it down on the sofa. About that time, a guard at the northwest gate called, \"Mr. Daly, Jimmy Breslin's out here. He says he's your pal and he won't go away. Do you want me to run him off?\" Breslin was working for the New York Herald Tribune at that time; I had known him for a long while. I said, \"Have him come up.\"\n\nNow Breslin is in my office the day after the assassination, saying, \"Well, I just want you to know that right now the whole world feels just the way you do.\"\n\nI said, \"Oh yeah? Take a look at this letter.\" And I handed him the letter from the congressman.\n\nJimmy said, \"Geez. Now I've seen it all.\"\n\nI said, \"You can't do anything with it.\"\n\nHe said, \"That guy crawls.\"\n\nOn Sunday, (Press Secretary Pierre) Salinger came in and handed me a copy of the Herald Tribune and said, \"I don't know where Breslin got this goddamn letter.\"\n\nThe column read:\n\nOn Saturday, almost an entire 24 hours after the murder of the President of the United States, a member of Congress who represents one of the great centers of culture and decency for which California is so famous, sat at his desk on Capitol Hill, dictated a letter to President Lyndon Johnson.\n\nDear Mr. President:\n\nJust to say that I and, I hope, all Members of the Congress believe it is our duty to support you and stand behind you at this time. I would also like to say that in 1960, at the Democratic National Convention in Los Angeles, I voted for you against John F. Kennedy.\n\nI tried to call Jimmy's house. He knew I was going to scream at him. So Rosemary (his wife) told me he was in the shower. When I finally reached him, he said, essentially, \"That freaking congressman is as dead as Kennedy.\" I hung up.\n\nOn Monday, we went to St. Matthew's Cathedral. I watched everyone hustling for aisle seats. I thought, \"Are they praying for their own survival or a promotion by LBJ, or are they praying for Jackie and the country?\" I still wonder.\n\nGod did not enter my mind during the service, and if he had, I would have been pissed off at him for fucking up this whole deal.\n\nWe came out of the church and there were two long lines of limos. Two or three single cars right behind the hearse then double rows of cars farther back. First, of course, the singles carried Jackie, the Kennedy clan, then Johnson. The rest of us got into the other cars. One row of VIPs was scheduled to follow the singles. The head cars of that group included this midget Haile Selassie (Ethiopian emperor) with all his medals, towered over by (French President Charles) De Gaulle. All of a sudden, Jack McNally jumps in front of the VIP row, raises out a mighty arm, and yells, \"Hold it!\" He directed all the staff cars to proceed. Then, and only then, he allowed the VIPs to move.\n\nI think John Kennedy's legacy is that he inspired millions. I feel fortunate to have been associated with this person who really did have vision. He was not perfect. From the waist down he had the same habits of his father. So what?\n\nHe really did make a difference in the world. I think that is where legacy and inspiration meld. Another part of the legacy is Robert Kennedy. Ethel and company cannot get over the fact that Bobby was never president. Again, so what? The fact is that much of his devotion to civil rights, and it was devotion, came from watching his brother learn about civil rights.\n\nPossibly the biggest part of John Kennedy's legacy was Ted Kennedy. He was a spoiled guy. You talk about nepotism with Bobby? Ted was handed a seat in the United States Senate. He got into the bottle of despair and couldn't get out. He left a girl to die at Chappaquiddick. Then he went on to become the most significant senator for shaping our present and, I hope, our future as a country. A woman who was at Chappaquiddick that night told me she said to Ted, not long before his death, \"I am so proud of what you have become.\"\n\nOverall, we are left a lasting legacy of this forever young president who, today, would be ninety-five years old.\n  John Gunther Dean\n\nSenior State Department diplomat\n\n\"Kennedy was interested in moving the world forward.\"\n\nAS you know, 1960 was the big year\u2014when African nations gained independence. In 1962, Kennedy invited the President of Togo, Sylvanus Olympio, to come as an official guest of the United States. He was among the first African presidents to come to the White House. Olympio came away feeling that Kennedy was interested in helping the newly independent African nations. I had been, in 1960, the diplomatic adviser to Olympio in Togo. The meeting with Kennedy was very cordial. Kennedy was so nice.\n\nHe said, \"Here's my friend John, who works with you.\" He had a way of doing things that put people at ease.\n\nKennedy was interested in moving the world forward. That was well understood by the newly independent African countries and also by the rest of the world. Eisenhower, of course, had been the commander of the U.S. and Allied forces during World War II, and he knew North Africa well. He showed an interest in North African affairs. Kennedy sought to establish relations with newly independent nations in sub-Saharan Africa.\n\nIn November 1963, I served as an advisor to the U.S. delegation to the United Nations General Assembly in New York. They needed French speakers, such as myself. I was assigned to the head of the American delegation, former governor Adlai Stevenson. When we heard about the assassination of President Kennedy, he called for a formal meeting of all the U.N. delegates. Stevenson told them what had happened. Nearly everyone, and there were hundreds of people, came forward to shake hands with Stevenson to express their dismay at the loss of Kennedy. It was interpreted in a very personal way, as if they all had lost a great friend. All the delegates were affected by Kennedy's tragic disappearance from the scene.\n\nEven after Kennedy's death, many people around the world associated the Kennedy name with efforts to avoid war. You must remember the Kennedy-Khrushchev confrontation over Cuba. For many, that's when this association started.\n\nI was definitely influenced by Kennedy and what he stood for. In 1961, he issued a personal decree that every U.S. ambassador to a foreign country was his personal representative to that country, and therefore, each ambassador became responsible for all the services in the embassy. Very often, the various services in each embassy\u2014the military people, the State Department people, the antidrug people, the intelligence people, the political people\u2014were at odds with each other. They would send messages, and sometimes complaints, to the president. Kennedy's order made each ambassador the coordinator of all U.S. policies and interests, thereby enabling the embassy personnel to speak with one voice. This was a major contribution. I later found out how important this was when I served as ambassador. Unfortunately, this practice has been abandoned for the last thirty years.\n\nThe great legacy of the Kennedys is giving people hope. Hope is what religion is based on.\n  Clint Hill\n\nU.S. Secret Service agent\n\n\"My objective was to get up on the back of the car and form a shield for President and Mrs. Kennedy to prevent any more damage from being done. Any agent would have done the same thing. I happened to be one.... I did have that opportunity, but it was too late.\"\n\nKENNEDY called each and every one of us agents by our first names. Johnson, when I first met him, was not too pleased to meet me, because I had been with the Kennedy detail. Jerry Ford was extremely friendly. His youngest son and my oldest son were high school classmates. He lived not far from where I was living in Alexandria, Virginia.\n\nOne of those situations where I learned of balancing my obligations and loyalty to Mrs. Kennedy involved an obnoxious UPI photographer, Roddy Mims, who once breached security at National Airport to take photos of her. As the agent responsible for the first lady's protection, I grabbed him, took his camera, and took all his film. I turned him over to the police because of his activities.\n\nWhen I got to the White House, I was advised that the president wanted to see me. So I went in to the Oval Office and there was the president and Pierre Salinger, his press secretary. I explained to them what happened. The president looked at me and said \"Unfortunately, you're going to be the scapegoat in this situation. We can't afford to have the press angry at us for what happened at National Airport and so you are going to get the blame. And we're going to return the film.\"\n\nWhen things like this happened, I had to weigh the risk of being chastised by the president himself. Eventually, the first lady gave me more and more responsibility for many things.\n\nWhen we traveled\u2014she often traveled alone overseas, or with Lee, her sister\u2014she no longer brought staff, except for a personal assistant. I became social secretary, press secretary, personal shopper. Whatever was necessary. I was trying to establish an environment in which she could function and do those things she wanted to do. And do them safely and with as much privacy as possible. It was difficult, but that's what I tried to do.\n\nNeither he nor Mrs. Kennedy ever carried cash. If she did, I was not aware of it. We'd go places and the children were along and if she wanted them to have ice cream or something, I would buy and later submit a personal expense request to the president's secretary, Mrs. Lincoln, and I'd be reimbursed. I'd buy Mrs. Kennedy magazines, newspapers, whatever was necessary.\n\nI remember when she was giving birth to John Jr. at Georgetown Hospital. After the baby was born, she was in her room and asked for the agent to come in. She wanted to borrow twenty dollars because she needed to tip her hair dresser. The agent didn't have any money. So he got the money from me. He gave it to her, and I got it back from Evelyn Lincoln.\n\nPrivacy for Mrs. Kennedy was difficult. She was well recognized, respected, and loved by people. They always wanted to be near her or associated with her in some way. That made it difficult.\n\nAfter leaving in 1964, yes, she called occasionally with questions about the children, recommendations about travel. In 1966, she sent me a Christmas gift, a book the president had written, and she inscribed it to me. That inscription is on the back of my book, Mrs. Kennedy and Me.\n\nThe last time I spoke with her was in 1968 at Robert Kennedy's funeral. It was very brief because, at that time, I was the agent in charge of presidential protection. I was there with President Johnson. It wasn't conducive to having any kind of conversation. I just expressed my sympathy and deep condolences.\n\nOn November 22, when I first heard the gunshots in Dealey Plaza, there was no hesitation at all. It's a reaction. And you immediately react. You do what we are taught to do and that's provide cover and hope we can evacuate before any damage is done.\n\nIn this case, the damage was already done by the time I got to them. In Dallas, my objective was to get up on the back of the car and form a shield for President and Mrs. Kennedy to prevent any more damage from being done. Any agent would have done the same thing. I happened to be one. The only one to be in a position to do anything because of the way it developed that day.\n\nNone of the other agents had a chance. I did have that opportunity, but it was too late.\n\nI wedged myself up on top of the back seat of the presidential limousine as high as possible to form a shield.\n\nPresident Kennedy has a mixed legacy. His speech at the inauguration\u2014\"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country\"\u2014that resonates still today. Some people go into public service and try to serve their country. He will always be known for establishing the Peace Corps and going into space and landing a man on the moon. That was his long term goal and it was accomplished. There were some bad moments like the Bay of Pigs and some good moments, such as when he prevented the nuclear holocaust with the Soviet Union during the Cuban Missile Crisis.\n  Harold Hill\n\nWhite House communications officer\n\n\"My boss responded, 'What are you going to do? The president wants it.'\"\n\nI saw John Kennedy in passing a few times in Washington while I was still working with President Eisenhower. The first time I really met John Kennedy was in February of 1961, shortly after his inauguration. Within short notice he knew me by name. My job and the others' meant we put mikes in front of the president all the time. When you're face-to-face with him, you get acquainted pretty quickly.\n\nHe was very direct. If he asked you something, he wanted an answer. I saw him angry or unhappy only once\u2014when somebody's stupidity got him behind schedule. It was OK for him to get behind on his own, but not if it involved someone else's mistake.\n\nThe mission of our office was to record all public utterances of the president\u2014no matter where or when\u2014even though they might be social or political in nature, such as toasts at state dinners and the responding toasts. In Berlin, when he did the famous \"Ich bin ein Berliner\" speech, I was in the plaza setting up for his address to the crowd. Following the speech there was to be a luncheon. I had plenty of time to handle both, I thought.\n\nAll of a sudden a Secret Service agent came over to me and said, \"The president wants to see you. Now.\"\n\nSo I left my position in the adjacent room and walked up the president. He leaned over to me and said, \"Harold, they do the toasts here before we eat the meal, not afterward. Did you know that?\"\n\nI replied, \"No, Mr. President,\" and did what I needed to do to get the recording.\n\nDuring the speech in the plaza, I've never seen anything so well organized. They had runways five to six feet wide every thirty to forty feet. It was humid and the crowd was so large and crammed that when someone fainted from the heat, the person would be handed overhead by other people to one of the openings for first aid.\n\nOne of my fondest memories of President Kennedy involved his secretary, Evelyn Lincoln. She always kept bags and bags of PT 109 tie clips in her desk to give as gifts. When we traveled with the president, I always had a pocketful of them. They would help open doors. One day, I was at her desk and she said, \"Here, you deserve this.\" She handed me a white bound copy of the president's inaugural address. There were about a thousand of them made. All of a sudden the president walked out of his office and she said, \"Here, sign this for Harold.\" So he stopped, and I watched as he inscribed it for me and handed it to me.\n\nHe was a voracious reader. One day, we were recording his voice for a film celebrating the Chinese Year of the Tiger. So he came down and asked me, \"This is for the thing for China, right? What am I supposed to say?\"\n\nJust then, a guy came in with the script\u2014three or four pages, double-spaced. I watched him glance at each page for just a moment. He never looked at the script again and we did the recording. I later absconded with the script and read it while playing the tape. Except for a few \"ums\" and \"ahhs,\" it was verbatim. One reading.\n\nIn October of 1962, I was with the President Kennedy in Chicago. He was supposed to fly to Seattle to close the World's Fair. Air Force One stayed on the runway for a long time in Chicago. I couldn't figure out why. Finally, the plane took off, and they announced to the press that the president had a high temperature and was going back to D.C., rather than Seattle. Three days later, on Monday night, JFK made a nationally televised speech about \"Cuber\"\u2014the \"Cuber missiles.\"\n\nI flew on a red-eye that night, got to the White House, and was told the president is going to speak with the prime minister of England, Harold Macmillan. They were going to use a secure line with a scrambling device on both ends in the Situation Room, and they want it recorded.\n\nI said, \"Ohhhhh no. It's against the law to record a call on a scrambling device.\"\n\nI knew what the law was. Recording a call like that, you are subject to five years in prison and a fifty-thousand-dollar fine.\n\nMy boss responded, \"What are you going to do? The president wants it.\"\n\nI replied, \"I'm not doing it unless the president himself tells me he's authorizing the recording.\"\n\nSo JFK came down to the Situation Room and the duty officer was standing tall and straight; so was my boss, Colonel McNally.\n\nThe president said, \"Hi Harold. Are we all set to go?\"\n\nThe duty officer responded, \"Yes and no.\"\n\nThe president was quite taken aback. \"What do you mean, 'Yes and no'?\"\n\nThe officer replied, \"There's some question about using recording devices on cryptographic equipment.\"\n\nThe president turned to me. \"You can do it, can't you Harold?\"\n\n\"Yes sir.\"\n\n\"Then let's do it.\"\n\nI took that as a direct order. So I recorded their conversation, and they got into the nitty-gritty. Which platoon was going to hit which beach and what time. It was a long and elaborate phone call.\n\nOn Friday, November 22, another member of the communications staff and I were sitting in a rental car outside the hotel in Austin waiting for the third member of our crew. We were about to drive out to Bergstrom Air Force Base and prepare phone lines. At that time, the president always had to be within two minutes of a secure phone, and the LBJ ranch then was on a phone system with twenty-three other people run by a man with a hand-cranked phone, so we were working with the local phone company to set up a secure line.\n\nIt was just after lunch, and a couple of people walked by and said, \"Did you hear? The president's been shot.\"\n\n\"Oh sure,\" I replied.\n\nWe didn't believe it. We had heard similar things before, and of course, they were always hoaxes. Within a minute or two, two businessmen in suits came out of the hotel, and I overheard them talking to each other about the president being shot in Dallas.\n\nI said, \"Turn on the radio,\" and we heard the news. Indeed, he had been shot.\n\nI thought, \"That's awful. But as hard as this is, we now have to serve the new man.\"\n\nI ran into the hotel, up to the White House communications center, a special room set up with a secure line and a secure teletype. I sent a message on the teletype to our office in Dallas: \"What's the story?\"\n\nA moment later I received the reply: \"JFK dead. LBJ to be sworn in. More later.\"\n\nSo I went to my room, turned on the TV, and watched Walter Cronkite deliver the news of the president's death. A little while later, I got a call from Colonel McNally. He said, \"You're the most experienced person I've got. We need you to help put in a communications system at the ranch.\"\n\nI drove out to the ranch to begin the plans for laying cable\u2014telephone lines\u2014underground for several miles. Then I got a call from the White House. \"Mrs. Kennedy is asking for you. When can you get to a phone?\" I drove back to Austin\u2014about an hour. It was now Saturday. I spoke to Tish Baldrige, the White House social secretary who worked with Mrs. Kennedy.\n\nTish asked, \"Can you get back to town overnight? Mrs. Kennedy is asking for you to record the entire funeral.\"\n\nSo I flew from Austin to Dallas and then to Washington, and upon landing, the pilot came on the sound system and said, \"Will Mr. Harold Hill identify himself?\" I was the first one off the plane, and a White House car was waiting for me. It was Sunday the twenty-fourth, between two and three in the afternoon. We had only six people in the office, and we arranged to have police escorts to enable having an open mike at the Capitol, at St. Matthew's Cathedral, and then at the Arlington National Cemetery.\n\nTish came to see me two weeks later and gave me an invitation to and program for President Kennedy's service at St. Matthew's, with a handwritten thank you note from Mrs. Kennedy. To me, John F. Kennedy was a young, vital newcomer who led us out of the desert. He was the first really vibrant president we had had for some time, probably since Theodore Roosevelt.\n  Lem Johns\n\nU.S. Secret Service agent\n\n\"I got off and walked right by President Kennedy's car. I saw the bouquet of flowers and blood on the upholstery. My first thought was, 'This is serious.' There was a clear indication someone had been hit.\"\n\nDURING the inauguration of President Kennedy, I was given the assignment of protecting family members. I was up at the top of the stairs at the Capitol for the inauguration. I met President Kennedy briefly that day.\n\nI got to see President Kennedy more regularly when I came back to the White House with the security detail for Vice President Johnson. I saw him as a very energetic young man, concerned about this country. He was very competent, and I thought he would carry out his plans, but he did not have enough time.\n\nDuring the Cuban Missile Crisis, we expanded security for the vice president to twenty-four-seven. There were three shifts. I observed President Kennedy coming to the meetings from the mansion. I knew it was extremely serious. He seemed very concerned, very worried. It occupied him totally. And as the tension mounted, it showed on his face.\n\nOn November 21, 1963, I accompanied Vice President and Mrs. Johnson via helicopter from the LBJ Ranch to San Antonio and met Rufus Youngblood, the senior agent in charge of the vice presidential detail. In a few minutes, the vice president and Mrs. Johnson met and joined the president and Mrs. Kennedy on their arrival.\n\nWe visited the Space Center in Houston, Texas, and then went on to Fort Worth. We arrived after dinner and stayed at the Texas Hotel. The next morning, the president spoke at a rally across the street, then at the chamber of commerce breakfast in the hotel. We then departed for the airport and flew to Love Field in Dallas.\n\nWe got the vice president and Mrs. Johnson into Love Field first. They greeted the Kennedys upon their arrival. The President and Mrs. Kennedy worked the lines of people by the fence, and then got into the cars for the motorcade. The president's limousine was an open convertible, although it had a clear bubble top in two pieces. It was kept in the trunk of the car. Immediately behind the president's car was a Secret Service car, then a Lincoln convertible that contained the vice president and Mrs. Johnson and Senator Ralph Yarborough. Behind the vice president's car, I was in a four-door sedan with two other agents. All three of us were assigned to LBJ. We had gone through downtown Dallas at what I call a parade speed, and as the cars slowed down, the agents were running behind the car with the president.\n\nI was sitting on the right side in the rear of the car with the window down, and was watching the right side. As we started down the incline on Elm Street, I heard the shots. I saw people on the grassy knoll hitting the ground. I started opening the door and jumping out to run to the vice president's car, which had slowed. Because of the way the door of my car was hinged, I had to jump backward. By the time I got out to start running forward, my car was speeding up. They left me standing in the street. Behind me were two convertibles with photographers, and the second one contained one of the photographers assigned to the White House. He saw me and said, \"Hey. That's Lem! Wait, pick him up.\" I jumped in the back of their car, and we went underneath the overpass.\n\nWe pulled up to the Trade Mart. There was a police officer with a three-wheeled motorcycle. I identified myself and asked, \"Where have they taken President Kennedy?\"\n\nHe responded, \"Right up the street to Parkland Hospital.\"\n\nI said, \"Would you mind taking me up there?\"\n\nHe said, \"No,\" and I jumped onto the padded seat behind his seat.\n\nThe officer took me to the emergency entrance. I got off and walked right by President Kennedy's car. I saw the bouquet of flowers and blood on the upholstery. My first thought was, \"This is serious. There was a clear indication someone had been hit.\"\n\nI walked into the hospital. I ran into an agent and asked, \"Where have they taken the vice president?\" He said they had separated him from Mrs. Kennedy and the others in the group. I did not see Mrs. Kennedy. I went into a room where the vice president was waiting.\n\nSo the vice president and his staff talked. \"Do we keep Air Force One at Love Field or send it to the air force base in Fort Worth?\"\n\nThey decided they would keep it at Love Field, close the airport, and place a security contingent there. Then it became, \"How do we get Vice President Johnson to the airport?\" I was asked to find an exit we could leave from without going through the press area. I went looking for a hospital administrator. We got the police cars lined up and they left the hospital. There were no photos of Vice President Johnson leaving Parkland.\n\nI saw the \"bag man\" in civilian clothes\u2014the guy who carries the briefcase with all the military codes. He was walking in the hallway. I told him to come with us. Then I saw (LBJ aide) Jack Valenti and pulled him into the car to go with us to Love Field. We got to the airport and went aboard the plane.\n\nThe vice president had called Bobby Kennedy and the president's mother, Rose Kennedy. The big question was whether he gets sworn in as president on the plane, or whether we wait until we're in Washington.\n\nMrs. Kennedy and the president's casket arrived. Some of the seats in the rear of the plan were removed to make room for the casket and to give Mrs. Kennedy some privacy.\n\n(United States District Court) Judge Sarah Hughes arrived. The mood was very solemn. When they got ready for the ceremony, the vice president asked someone to request Mrs. Kennedy to witness the swearing-in. She came forward, still in the same dress. Her leg was covered with blood. The vice president and Mrs. Johnson greeted her warmly. After the swearing in, the judge got off the plane and we took off for Washington.\n\nOver the next few days, I stayed on duty for the funeral events. We had two groups of agents. It did create some uncertainty. The guys on the Kennedy detail, of course, were very upset. The loss they felt was so great. Rufus later became the agent-in-charge for President Johnson, and I became the assistant agent-in-charge.\n\nJohn Kennedy's legacy is extremely good. I'm not really aware of all the bills or programs, but just as a representative of the country, he did a good job. One of the most telling things was when he went to West Berlin and made the famous remark, \"Ich ben ein Berliner.\" It was a city and a country divided. That was quite good.\n  Nicholas deB. Katzenbach\n\nDeputy Attorney General, Attorney General in the Johnson administration\n\n\"President Kennedy asked, 'Where's the vice president?' Someone said, 'I don't think he was invited.' And the president replied, 'Go get him. We need him.'\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy a few days after he took office as president. He had a reception for all the new appointees for the government. I remember the receiving line with him and Jackie. And he said to me, \"Mr. Katzenbach. You're going to be dealing with Bobby and the Justice Department. I'm so glad.\"\n\nAnd I looked around at this enormously crowded room and thought, \"How did he know my name?\"\n\nHe certainly had done a lot of homework; although he likely received my name on a card from the aide who was introducing the guests, he knew I would be in the Justice Department. It was very flattering.\n\nSo my first impression of him was one of awe (laughter).\n\nMy more substantive impressions of him came later in meetings with him, as things went along, and how he reacted to problems and people. The first meeting that I recall having with him, which I describe in the book, had to do with the Federal Power Commission. Kennedy wanted to appoint Joseph Swindler as head, and the existing head, Jerome Kuykendall, did not want to resign. There was a U.S. Supreme Court opinion on the independence of the commissions that said you couldn't fire people because they were of a different political persuasion.\n\nMy assistant Harold Reis said, \"I think that's wrong. I think the president probably could fire the chairman as chairman, but not from the commission.\" Later, I went over to the White House on the issue to talk with Ralph Dungan, who was handling appointments for the president. I knew that Bobby was in with the president, and so I got in touch with Bobby and asked if I could come in to join him on that matter. So he said, \"Come on in.\"\n\nSo I came into the Oval Office. The president was there. And Ralph came in the other door. He said, \"I agree with Nick. He (chair of the commission) either ought to take this, or we litigate it.\"\n\nSo, the president took one look at it and said, \"I agree with Nick, too.\" That was very nice. The first time he called me by my first name. So my first two meetings with him were very nice. I came to admire his judgment (laughter).\n\nPresident Kennedy had all of the attributes one can reasonably attribute to a Harvard graduate. He was personable, well-mannered. He was intelligent and he was articulate. And he got along very well with people. He had all of the social graces that you have with that kind of an education and money as well.\n\nBut he had something more, which I think he acquired in World War II. The thing that always interested me about his naval career and his service as the captain of PT 109 was not the mission or the dangers, but the responsibility he felt for his crew. He risked his own life to save his crew. That was an attribute I admire greatly. He demonstrated loyalty to people, and he had responsibilities from his position, and he had to meet those responsibilities.\n\nHe took that sense of responsibility into the presidency.\n\nI have no doubt that President Kennedy and his brother Bobby, despite not knowing much about civil rights, did not approve of the second class citizenship that was evident and the very nearly caste system that existed in the South at that time. I think the problem was not whether you wanted it or liked it; the problem was what could be done about it.\n\nSo in that sense, the moral problem was, \"What are my obligations? My obligation is to make it better. But how in the name of God do I do that?\" And that was the most difficult problem we faced during the Kennedy presidency.\n\nThat was true of both the integration of the University of Alabama and the release of the Cuban prisoners. Allow me to explain.\n\nPresident Kennedy felt that he had made a bad mistake on the Bay of Pigs, which he had. All these Cuban prisoners were being held, and I think he felt a strong obligation for them. As long as they were there and being held hostage, he had a moral responsibility for them.\n\nBoth incidents, I think, reflected his position, essentially, \"I have a position of authority and I have a responsibility for these issues, and therefore, I have a moral obligation to do something.\"\n\nAnd the seed that grew into that moral obligation was planted in the Solomon Islands with PT 109, as well as earlier, during his time in England when his father was ambassador to the Court of St. James. He saw Hitler rising to power. He saw that morality and politics are not necessarily different.\n\nIn regard to the introduction of civil rights legislation, which the president did right after the integration of the University of Alabama, he and Bobby and (Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights) Burke Marshall were probably the only people who were really for it in the White House. Nobody, maybe not even those three, thought it was possible. And my guess is that Bobby was urging it, but I don't think Bobby thought he was going to succeed.\n\nI think the squabble between Bobby and Johnson, which President Kennedy did not share\u2014but a lot of his staff did\u2014was harmful not simply to Johnson, but also to Kennedy. And one of the ways it was harmful was to civil rights. I say that not because I think Johnson should have or could have done anything particularly outside of what he did in his role on the Federal Employment Commission regarding government contracts for minorities. He did not have much to do during the Kennedy presidency, which was a mistake.\n\nI can remember on one occasion, it was a meeting on legislative tactics on the first civil rights bill that we had drafted. All the interested people were there. But no Lyndon Johnson. And President Kennedy asked, \"Where's the vice president?\" And someone said, \"I don't think he was invited.\" And the president replied, \"Go get him. We need him.\"\n\nIt was sad. And I'm sure Johnson knew what had happened. He came to the meeting and pointed out a section on fair employment was essential for the bill, and I think he was right.\n\nExcerpt from Some of it was Fun\u2014Working with RFK and LBJ by Nicholas deB. Katzenbach \u00a9 2008 (Used with the author's permission):\n\nOn November 22, I went to lunch at a restaurant near the department with Joe Dolan (colleague from the Department of Justice Anti-Trust Division). We had just been seated when we heard the radio behind the cashier's desk announce that the president had been shot in Dallas. We jumped up and ran back to the department, where we went to the attorney general's office. His secretary, Angie Novello, was there. Bobby was at Hickory Hill. He had had a meeting of his organized crime task force that morning and had taken Bob Morgenthau, the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York, home for lunch. Angie told us that it looked as though it might be fatal and that the president had been rushed to the hospital. The FBI was keeping her and Bobby informed.\n\nIt is impossible to describe the feelings all of us in the department had. It seemed as if all the lights had gone out, all senses down. I went to my office and after a few minutes called Bobby, feeling I should, but having no idea what to say. He answered the phone.\n\n\"Hoover just called me,\" he said. \"The president is dead. I think Hoover enjoyed giving me the news.\"\n\nI don't know what I said. There was nothing adequate to say. I turned on the TV and just sat. People started to come into my office. Mostly we were just silent. The phone rang. It was Bobby.\n\n\"They want to swear him in right away, in Texas. That's not necessary, is it?\"\n\nHe could not bear the swearing in. In some mythical sense, I think he wanted President Kennedy to return to Washington on Air Force One as if he were still president. I think, too, that swearing in JFK's successor in Texas was an offensive idea to him.\n\n\"No,\" I said. \"Not necessary.\"\n\n\"They want to know who can swear in the president. Does it have to be the chief justice?\"\n\n\"No,\" I replied. \"Anyone who can administer an oath\u2014a federal judge, for example.\"\n\nHe rang off. I was, frankly, appalled that Johnson's people were seeking legal advice from Bobby at this time. I could understand, however, and even sympathize for a prompt swearing in as a demonstration to the world that the government was intact and functioning.\n\nA few minutes later the phone rang again. It was (LBJ aide) Jack Valenti, calling from Air Force One.\n\n\"We want to swear Vice President Johnson in as president. The attorney general said you would have a copy of the oath.\"\n\nI got up and found a copy of the Constitution and read him the oath...\n\nThose days between the assassination and President Kennedy's funeral are something of a blur in my memory. I do remember a group of us going to the White House to pay our last respects to our fallen leader, a meeting arranged by Bobby to include an unusually large number of career attorneys. I can remember watching the procession to the Capitol from the department as it passed directly below us; the funeral with its foreign dignitaries and Bobby in close attendance on Jackie; and finally Bobby returning to the department the day after the funeral and trying his best to pretend things were normal. He looked like the ghost of his former self, and his efforts to tell humorous stories about events at the funeral were brave, but flat.\n\nI view this period as eight years of Kennedy and Johnson, since I served both presidents. Those eight years are remembered for both\u2014some of the successes on foreign policy going to Kennedy and other successes on domestic issues going to Johnson. Kennedy handled the economy much better than Johnson, as well as foreign affairs. I may have a bias because I served in both. And maybe I'm protecting myself (laughter).\n  Newton N. Minow\n\nChairman of the Federal Communications Commission\n\n\"'Mr. President, I think you'll be pleased to know that Jackie's program had a higher rating than your press conferences.'\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy in 1954 or 1955. I was a friend of his sister and brother-in-law, Eunice and Sargent Shriver, and John Kennedy came to Chicago to give a speech. We (my wife and I) were invited by the Shrivers to accompany them to the speech, and then later there was a small reception in the hotel. I had followed his career before, and I was very taken with his intelligence, his charm, and his wit; I liked him immensely.\n\nI had decided prior to the 1960 campaign that I hoped Adlai Stevenson would not run again and I urged him to support John Kennedy. But when he (Governor Stevenson) didn't do that, I stayed supporting Adlai Stevenson all the way until Kennedy was nominated at the Democratic convention in Los Angeles. Then after that, we all supported Kennedy.\n\nThe day after the 1960 election, Sargent Shriver called me and said President-elect Kennedy asked him to be a recruiter and talent scout for the new administration. And he asked me if I was interested in joining the new administration in Washington. I said, no, I couldn't because I had a young family and had little financial resources. But he asked me if I would help him in the recruiting process for others, and I said, \"Of course.\" I worked with Sarge over the next few months helping him\u2014interviewing people, recommending people. Someone in that process knew how interested I was in television. They were looking for a new chairman of the FCC (Federal Communications Commission). They talked to Bob Kennedy and to Sarge and they both thought I would be good for that. So when they asked me to be chairman of the FCC, I couldn't resist, even though it was financially a disaster. It was the only job in the administration that I would undertake because I felt so strongly that I could accomplish something there.\n\nI had no interview with President-elect Kennedy. He knew me. I had seen him a number of times over the years, but he did not discuss the job with me.\n\nPresident Kennedy would call me occasionally, sometimes on a serious subject, sometimes not. He once called wanting to know what the ratings were when Jackie's tour of the White House was on television.\n\nIt was on CBS and I called Frank Stanton, then the president of CBS, and he said, \"We don't get those ratings for another couple of weeks.\"\n\nI said, \"I've got to have it today.\"\n\nHe later called me back with what were called the \"overnight ratings.\"\n\nI called the president back and said, \"Mr. President, I think you'll be pleased to know that Jackie's program had a higher rating than your press conferences.\"\n\nI would see him occasionally. The most interesting experience was when he invited me to accompany him in early May of 1961, when he was to speak to the National Association of Broadcasters. He asked me to meet him at the White House. So I was waiting outside the Oval Office and he came out. He had with him Alan Shepard, the astronaut who had just come back from his space flight, Mrs. Shepard, and the vice president.\n\nThe president said to me, \"What do you think about taking the Shepards to the National Association of Broadcasters?\"\n\nI said, \"That would be perfect. Very exciting.\"\n\nSo he said, \"Just wait here a minute\" and he went back into his office.\n\nHe came out a moment later and said, \"We're all going to go together. Come with me. I'm going to change my shirt and I want to talk to you.\"\n\nSo he took me up to the living quarters. He said, \"What do you think I should talk about to the broadcasters?\"\n\nAnd I said, \"I think you ought to say that in our country, when we have a thing like a space shot, we open it up to the press and radio and television, so that all Americans could see and share the experience. Whereas in the Soviet Union, everything was done behind closed doors because it is a closed society. You ought to contrast the difference between our system, an open society, and a closed society.\"\n\nThe president didn't say anything. He didn't say, \"That's good,\" or \"That's bad.\"\n\nHe finished changing his shirt and we went down and got in the car. The president and the Shepards got in the back seat. Lyndon Johnson, the vice president, and I got in the jump seats and drove to what was then the Wardman Park Hotel. It is now the Sheraton. The president got up and gave a perfect speech about the differences between an open society and a closed society, and in an open society why we have the broadcasters there. He had no notes; it was all extemporaneous.\n\nI left Washington in the summer of 1963 and went home to Chicago. On November 22, I was working in my new job at the Encyclopedia Britannica and was having lunch in the cafeteria, when my assistant came to get me and said, \"The news is on the radio and television. The president's been shot.\" So I immediately went to my office, heard what I could, and went home to be with my wife and children. And then we went to the funeral; we were invited to participate. It was so sad and so shocking. All of us were numb; literally speechless.\n\nLooking back, I felt that there was a five-year period in which four people died: Jack Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Pope John the 23rd, and Robert Kennedy. In that terrible five-year period, the loss of those four great leaders moved all the institutions they had led backwards. The United States went backwards. The civil rights movement went backwards. And the Catholic Church went backwards. That Pope had convened Vatican II. The church was moving into the contemporary world.\n\nTelevision news came of age that weekend in November of 1963. The fact that they (the networks) cancelled everything else. They cancelled all the commercials. They covered everything live, including the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald. It (the news coverage) held the country together in a way that was extremely valuable and important. When television is live, it is especially important because it enables every viewer to feel that he or she is there.\n\nJohn Kennedy, particularly during the Cuban Missile Crisis in which I had a small role, saved our country from what could have been the end, with destruction from a nuclear exchange. I think he ushered in a whole generation of younger people who believed, as he did, that politics could be an honorable profession. He stimulated interest in public affairs and politics.\n\nUnfortunately for all of us, his life was too short. But I think his legacy will endure forever.\n  Nelson C. Pierce\n\nWhite House usher\n\n\"I wondered what I would say to the first lady. As she came around the corner... she was still in her pink suit with bloodstains and I knew immediately. Our eyes met.\"\n\nPRESIDENT Kennedy was a wonderful man. When he smiled, you smiled. You couldn't help it. And he smiled quite often. For a luncheon, he had the guests in the Red Room, and when he came over from the office, I announced him to the group in the Red Room. I was shaking like a leaf, because that was my first time doing it. It was a real thrill.\n\nOne evening, I had a message for Maud Shaw, the children's governess, and I took it to the family dining room. The president and first lady were out of the city. And I gave the note to Miss Shaw. And Caroline said, \"Mr. Pierce, I have a terrible time doing somersaults, my legs either go to the right, or they go to the left.\"\n\nSo I said, \"Caroline, concentrate, now think hard about making your feet go straight over your head.\" And she did a couple, much improved, and I complimented her on them, but she said, \"Mr. Pierce, do somersaults with me.\" Miss Shaw came to my rescue, and I did not have to do somersaults on the dining room floor.\n\nOne day, Mrs. Kennedy was having trouble with her stereo in the West Sitting Hall\u2014that was their living room. And I had to escort the signal corps man upstairs to work on it. And while we were there, little John-John came over and said, \"Read a story.\"\n\nHe brought a book over to me, and I sat on the edge of the couch thinking he would be standing in front of the couch and leaning in, so I just sat on the edge. And he jumped up and sat back and then jumped down from the couch and pushed me in the chest and said, \"Sit back, sit back.\"\n\nSo I sat back and put my arm around him and read the story to him, and as soon as the story was over, he got down, put the book back, and went on his way.\n\nMrs. Kennedy, every once in a while, would call down to whoever was on duty and say, \"I need some help; could you come up and help me, please?\" So I went up and she said, \"Mr. Pierce, I would like to move the sofa from here to over there and move that chair somewhere else.\" And I asked, \"Do you want me to get the doorman to come up to help?\" And she said, \"No. I'll pick up one end and you pick up the other.\" It was a quite light sofa. So we moved it. And she didn't like it in that spot, so we moved it again.\n\nShe was wonderful to work for\u2014but you always knew your place. And you never went out of that place.\n\nThe night before the president left for Texas, they had a reception, with many members of the judiciary, including members of the Supreme Court. And the president had invited all of the ushers' wives to come, so Mr. (J. B.) West (head usher) arranged for us to have dinner served in our dressing room down in the basement, and then we all went up and he (Mr. West) escorted all the (ushers' wives) into the judicial reception.\n\nAfter a while, they all came back into the office. And when we heard that the president was coming, they all stood in our doorway. The president came around the corner to the elevator, and started in the elevator, and then backed up, and with a big, broad smile on his face said, \"Oh, you girls checkin' up to make sure your husbands are working tonight?\"\n\nAnd that big smile is what stayed with my wife months after that.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was working on an off-set press for a customer across the street on Fifteenth Street. It was just a little over a block to the East Gate of the White House. When I got to the gate, the police officer said, \"Pierce, hurry and get to the office. The boss has just been shot.\" And that started the day.\n\nI took the call from Texas that the president's death was official. So I called the engineers and had them lower the flag at half-staff at the White House. And I called the General Services Administration Control Center which notified all the embassies and all the ships at sea. Right after they lowered the flag to half-staff, there was a TV cameraman on the north grounds and he panned up to the flag, and that really shook me up because I knew I was the one who gave the order to put it down. And for all thirty days after the assassination, the flags were at half-staff. It got to me emotionally.\n\nAnd within ten minutes after Air Force One left Texas, Mrs. Kennedy's Secretary, Mary Gallagher, got on the phone and we got a radio patch from Air Force One that Mrs. Kennedy wanted the funeral as much like Lincoln's as possible. And so the curator's office and the U.S. Library of Congress did a remarkable research job in a very short period of time to find out the details of the Lincoln funeral.\n\nI was the \"day man.\" I relayed messages to the carpenter's shop, to the other shops that were involved, telling them what we needed, how soon we needed it. Basically, when the president's body arrived at Andrews and went to Bethesda Naval Hospital, they said the casket probably would arrive at the White House around ten o'clock (that evening). But that didn't happen. They called back and said it would be longer. And it was. It was about 4:20 am when he arrived at the White House.\n\nThe First Lady and Bobby Kennedy came in together and went to the East Room to open the casket. I was still in the office.\n\nWhen I heard they were coming down the hall, my doormen were busy with other members of the party. I locked the elevator and I wondered what I would say to the first lady. As she came around the corner, and of course, she was still in her pink suit with bloodstains and I knew immediately. Our eyes met. And we had a rapport and I knew that I didn't need to say a thing. She realized how I felt. We were all silent. I took them up to the second floor, the living quarters on the second floor.\n\nThat first night, we didn't get any sleep at all. It was the second night that I slept in the chair, Saturday night. Taking care of whatever needed to be done that I was asked to do.\n\nPresident Kennedy was a wonderful person. The first time I announced him, he turned to me and mouthed the words, \"Thank you.\" That made me feel better, but I got back in the office and my knees were still shaking.\n\nI'm asked time after time after time, \"Who was your favorite?\" I didn't have a favorite. I worked for the president of the United States, regardless of party affiliation. It was thrilling to work for six presidents. That's how I describe it: You have six friends. You like them all equally.\n  Sue Vogelsinger\n\nWhite House press aide\n\n\"One of the stewards came through and said, 'We've got to pack up and get ready to move. Somebody's been shot.'\"\n\nI was hired in the fall of 1958, the year I graduated from college, and his entire staff was in Massachusetts, with the exception of Ralph Dungan, who was his counsel on the Senate Labor Committee. Ralph had hired me. So nobody was there when I was hired. I did not meet anybody until after they returned from the November election, an election Kennedy won by a huge vote.\n\nThe senator did not come back to the office for a while. I did not meet John Kennedy until early the following year, or maybe briefly in late December of 1958. I was struck by his good looks and vitality, but I had no particularly outstanding impression at that stage of the game.\n\nWhat was \"exhilarating\" about Kennedy? It was partially his youth. He was a presence. He seemed to emanate intelligence, humor, curiosity. Extremely out of the ordinary.\n\nMy first assignment was to work on what we called, \"political cards.\" The cards were designed to keep track of people the senator had met, to collect information on potential volunteers, potential contributors, and potential voters who would support him. Needless to say, that was a fairly boring operation. This was before the campaign started; even before he announced, actually. I was quickly bored with typing names on index cards and decided I was going to leave. Senator Kennedy heard about it for some reason.\n\nHe took an interest and called me in and asked, \"Why are you leaving?\"\n\nI really hardly knew him at this point. I said, \"Well, quite honestly, I don't like what I'm doing. I'm bored.\"\n\nHe said, \"Give me a little bit of time. I'll see what I can do about it.\"\n\nIndeed, a couple days later, I found myself working on the legislative staff, which means I was doing a bit more stimulating work than typing cards. He also started asking me to take dictation\u2014that was exciting. He was so fast. It was a challenge to be able to do that.\n\nEverybody was working on the campaign one way or the other. There weren't that many of us. It wasn't too long before he did announce, and I was asked at one point, whether I wanted to work with Ted Sorensen or Pierre Salinger.\n\nI said, being twenty-three years old, \"Which one will involve the most travel?\"\n\nThe answer was, \"Pierre probably.\"\n\nSo I said, \"OK, that's what I want to do.\"\n\nI did both. I did Senate work, and then I would be involved in the campaign. I was in West Virginia for the West Virginia primary. Then I'd come back and work on legislative stuff some more. Then, I became campaign staff.\n\nSenator Kennedy had won the Wisconsin primary just prior to West Virginia. Wisconsin had a fairly large Catholic population. He needed to win in a state that didn't have many Catholics. West Virginia did not, of course. So it was vital for him to win there. West Virginia was also real Hubert Humphrey country. He was beloved there.\n\nThe Kennedy campaign did a number of interesting things. They brought in FDR Jr. Of course, his father had been beloved in West Virginia. He campaigned with Kennedy and on his own. The Kennedy organization was a good one. They worked hard. They went to every door they could get to. They did a fabulous job.\n\nBob Kennedy, of course, was there. My roommate, a very good friend, had also been sent to West Virginia to work on the campaign. We did not have a big staff at the headquarters in Charleston. We all would go out at night and have a drink and dinner. And if Bob was around, he would go with us.\n\nHe said one night to Susan and me, \"You aren't Catholic, are you?\"\n\nAnd neither one of us were.\n\nHe said, \"How about if you come down the street with me tomorrow on your way to some non-Catholic church, wearing your Kennedy buttons?\"\n\nHe was only half-kidding. It was a good idea. So we did.\n\nAfter the primary, I went back to Washington. The labor bill was still being debated. I joined the presidential campaign around Labor Day. I was in Hyannis on election night. There were only three of us setting up in there. I was working with the press. My job was helping set up for media to be able to cover election night. The morning after the election, I was told I would be going to Palm Beach. That's where the president-elect was going. He needed some staff down there. So I pleaded with the pilot of the plane to stop in Washington, so I could get some warm weather clothes.\n\nIt's interesting, the differences between then and now. The fact was, if reporters asked and we could tell them something, we did. If we said, \"We can't tell you,\" we didn't. If we said, \"We'll find out,\" we might have to come back and say, \"We can't tell you.\" Reporters trusted that you were not lying. And we never were. It was really a very good relationship.\n\nThe night before the inauguration, I went to the Mayflower Hotel to give President Truman a copy of Kennedy's inaugural address. He had only one Secret Service agent. I was able to just take the elevator up to his floor and go knock on the door. He greeted me wearing slippers and invited me in to meet Bess.\n\nI was on the trip to Berlin and Ireland in 1963. Berlin was fascinating and a little frightening. I was with the crowd out in the square. It was an incredibly huge crowd, people pressing from all directions. Happily so, but it was a little frightening.\n\nOn November 22, we, of course, were working with the press. But part of my job, always, was getting press copy\u2014press releases and schedules\u2014ready, so the media had the speech and the schedule and knew what was going on, as well as getting the speech copy ready for the president. In Dallas, that's what I was doing. Chris Camp, another member of the White House Press Office, and I were on Air Force One in the president's cabin working on the president's speech copy for the next stop.\n\nOne of the stewards came through and said, \"We've got to pack up and get ready to move. Somebody's been shot.\"\n\nSo we started putting everything together to leave. We still did not know who had been shot or what had happened. There was a small television set on the plane. We turned it on and found out what had happened. Shortly thereafter, we found out he had died.\n\n\"Shocked\" is the only word you can use, but it doesn't even come close to saying what you were feeling.\n\nWe took our things and went to the back-up plane. We were not there when Johnson was sworn in. At that point, we did not know where the president's body would be taken. But we figured Air Force One would be needed for Johnson and his staff. The back-up plane held off-duty Secret Service agents and members of the Texas delegation. There were some Texans who were not unhappy with what was going on. I still remember it. At one point the Secret Service agents, hearing the same thing, came and sat with us, so we weren't too close to the Texans.\n\nBack in Washington, we were frantically busy for days on end. The role of the White House Press Office was to make it possible, as best we could, for the press to cover the funeral. Journalists came from all over the world, and the logistics involved to help them cover the funeral were extremely complicated.\n\nIt's astonishing that John Kennedy still generates the interest that he does. Part of it was him, of course, young, handsome, funny, smart, romantic, an attractive and exciting young family. Part of it, too, was that he followed eight years of Eisenhower, who was much older with a much older staff and a much older wife. So that, consciously or unconsciously, was the impact of a lot of the press stories. The feeling of excitement with Kennedy permeated everything.\n  Lee C. White\n\nSpecial Counsel to the President\n\n\"After I was hired, I told my then-boss where I was going. He commented about John Kennedy, 'He's just a dilettante. He'll never amount to anything.'\"\n\nTHE first time I met John Kennedy was in his office, May or June of 1953. I had come up from Tennessee from my job with the Tennessee Valley Authority to interview with him.\n\nExcerpt from Oral history for the John F. Kennedy Library, volume 1, page 2, recorded May 25th, 1964 (copyright retained by Mr. White; used with his permission):\n\nHe was a little bit disorganized in the sense that his suit was rumpled and I recall he was not wearing any trousers. Mrs. Lincoln (Evelyn Lincoln, Kennedy's secretary) was trying to get some ink out of his trousers that he had spilled. He was going someplace or another and he just looked a mess. But he took Sorensen (Ted Sorensen, JFK's assistant) and me to lunch in the Capitol in the senators' dining room. Ted told me later this was fairly unusual. He didn't frequently have lunch with staff members.\n\nI went home thinking, \"Nice to meet that young senator.\" He was a lively guy, though at that time I had not realized his physical condition. He was spry and zippy.\n\nLater, after I was hired, I told my then-boss at the Tennessee Valley Authority where I was going. He commented about John Kennedy, \"He's just a dilettante. He'll never amount to anything.\"\n\nWorking for John Kennedy, you learned how to juggle. You do what you have to do and you get stretched a bit. As a boss, there were two qualities I admired about him. First, he expected staff to perform miracles, and the staff we had were pretty good, especially the indomitable Ted Sorensen. He was not easy, but he was fair, and he never asked or expected us to do anything that was impossible or degrading. On that front, he gets a good grade.\n\nWhen I left him as a senator, it was to go to the staff of the U.S. Senate Small Business Committee. It really was because I wanted to earn more money. It was funny. I was leaving at a time when everyone wanted to join his staff. But he didn't think I was nuts. He encouraged me and when I told him I was not going outside to make a fortune, but rather to work as a top dog for Republican Senator John Cooper from Kentucky, Kennedy said, \"Oh, that's different. When you want to get rid of the stigma (of working for a Republican), you come back to work for me.\" And that's how it worked out.\n\nJohn Kennedy did not go peacefully over that little hump of turning forty. I remember the event even today. Sometimes we joke or make gags about turning forty, but he was not joking. I don't quite know why, but I know damn well that he was not happy. I was not aware, as others were, about his medical and physical problems. He might have thought, \"Wow, I've been going uphill and now I'm going downhill.\" But it was a rude awakening, especially for a hot dog like he was.\n\nAfter his election to the presidency, I contacted Gloria Sitrin, Sorensen's assistant, and later Ted contacted me. About a week later, the word came back, \"You can go down and get your identification.\" I was in. It was either the last week of November, or the first week of December of 1961.\n\nExcerpt from oral history for the John F. Kennedy Library, volume 7, pages 382-384, recorded May 11, 1970 (copyright retained by Mr. White; used with his permission):\n\nOn the day of the assassination, I was having lunch in the White House mess when Jack McNally came in\u2014about one-forty in the afternoon\u2014and said that the president had been shot. My first instinct was that it was some sort of bizarre sense of humor... but all of a sudden, it was evident to me that nobody could have joked at that and his face made it clear.\n\nSo I quickly left and went upstairs to Pierre Salinger's office where the only (news wire service) ticker was located.... The tickers had the story.... Then, in a matter of just minutes, that room began to fill up with reporters. By default, I became the acting press secretary at the White House, although obviously (Malcolm) Kilduff, who was with the president, was the acting press secretary. So for those couple of hours, I had the responsibility\u2014self-designated\u2014to kind of work with these reporters and keep in touch with what was going on with Sorensen.\n\nWhat is John Kennedy's legacy? He and his wife Jackie created tremendous interest in the presidency. Some of us had an old saying: \"Franklin Roosevelt demonstrated that a man with a physical handicap could be president. Harry Truman demonstrated that a man with a mental handicap could be president, and Eisenhower demonstrated we didn't need a president.\"\n\nSo, here comes this young, good-looking whippersnapper, who was charming with a God-given smile that was irresistible. And suddenly, he's in the Oval Office. Boy, did that make a difference.\n\nIt really was the passing of the torch to a new generation.\n  Harris Wofford\n\nSpecial Assistant to the President on Civil Rights, Associate Director of the Peace Corps, Peace Corps director in Ethiopia, U.S. senator\n\n\"The Bay of Pigs was a huge disappointment to the president. He was angered at himself and those who had planned it. So he asked his brother Robert from then on to keep a special eye on the CIA...\"\n\n(JOHN Kennedy) came across to me with a personality that would be able to win the election of 1960. I thought, and do think, that Kennedy had more of what we call charisma than anyone since Roosevelt and before Obama. A combination of seriousness and humor, I thought was appealing; a sort of political gaiety, like Roosevelt, \"The Happy Warrior.\"\n\nBeyond that, Kennedy represented what the world, as I knew it, had hoped for America. That we were young, optimistic, can-do, and full of energy and idealism.\n\n(B)y the time he left for Dallas, he had lived up to what he had promised in the campaign to try to do. Now I think that the revisionist writers about Kennedy, or at least the first wave of them that still ripples, view him as making low-level political judgment that would get him in trouble if he moved too fast (on civil rights and other issues). That is what I would call a low way of stating why Kennedy was very careful and, some would say, slow in acting. I would say there are maybe three key factors in measuring what he did.\n\nFirst, he, his father, his family, his \"Irish Mafia,\" as we jokingly called the staff and some of his closest gang, they very well knew the prejudice among whites in the North, epitomized by South Boston and what was also already evident in terms of the reaction of the whites to school integration in Boston, and their own Irish Catholic Americans. These were not the priests and the bishops and the serious devoted Catholics like Sargent Shriver, but the plain, American Roman Catholics who shared in their own way their own form of discrimination or prejudice racially.\n\nThey (JFK, his family, and the \"Irish Mafia\") genuinely, from the time they started paying attention to civil rights, worried that it was going to be counter-productive and that the backlash of moving too fast would set civil rights and the country back\u2014not just that they might lose an election. Most of the time they could not really tell whether action would win more votes from African Americans or lose more votes from prejudiced people. And they weren't just thinking only of the South, but very much they were thinking of the North.\n\nThe second thing that is a factor in measuring Kennedy is his overwhelming personal interest, that from the time he was doing anything public, it was international affairs. He wrote the book Why England Slept. He was forever interested in the world and for me, the chief appeal of Kennedy, aside from his charisma, was the fact that for him the world was the big question. And that was my own view\u2014the biggest question of all was the world.\n\nI came back from India thinking that civil rights was the great stain on the American soul and for us in our relations with the world. Beyond the reason of living up to ideals of the Declaration of Independence, it was crucial for our leadership in the world that we remove that stain, And John Kennedy not only thought that racial discrimination and prejudice were irrational and were problems that ought to be solved, but I think his biggest impetus in trying to get them solved was his sense of America and the world.\n\nNow remember, those I call the revisionists, they like to say that there wasn't a message on the inaugural address about civil rights which had been such a vital part of the campaign. The inaugural address had no domestic issue at all\u2014civil rights, or the economy\u2014aside from the call to service, \"ask not.\" No issue of domestic importance was pointed out, though Louis Martin (publisher, civil rights leader) and I got in those two words, \"'at home' and around the world.\"\n\nNow, the last thing that occurs to me. Beyond charisma. Beyond any particular issue, Kennedy's great promise that was beginning to be fulfilled (at the time of the assassination) was his political skill. He was forever trying to see what would really work. He was genuinely balancing his best judgment on that\u2014the way Lincoln did on when to sign the Emancipation Proclamation and how far-reaching that proclamation should be. In his first year, Lincoln was denounced by most of the abolitionist leaders for not signing it, and when he finally did, he was denounced for applying it initially only to the states in rebellion.\n\nThe main disappointment for me with Kennedy was the delay in signing the executive order (ending housing discrimination). Not because I thought that was an earth-changing action\u2014it was always necessarily limited in terms of how much it would end discrimination in federally assisted housing. It was frustrating that twice it was about to be signed and postponed. It came about because a few words he picked up from me: \"One stroke of a pen and you can do it.\" I was completely underestimating the ability of Congress and the political forces to make it dangerous to stroke that pen.\n\nIn retrospect, if he had done it right away, it would have caused less trouble than all the delay. It was not the main issue that people had in the civil rights movement. The issue going forward was what the platform promised and what he had espoused during the campaign: how to go forward with the most far-reaching Democratic platform\u2014any party's platform\u2014on civil rights. He was weighing whether the promise to do it in the first session of the first Congress was a wise thing to do. I happened to agree with him once we faced the fact that his margin of victory was one hundred thousand-plus (votes), and that his majority in Congress, in both houses, was dependent on Southern segregation-committed people. I think if he had gone forth with the civil rights legislation, it would have had a catastrophic effect. It would have fizzled out, and\/or been viewed as a major defeat. It would have reduced his capital.\n\nI would add that (President Lyndon) Johnson was able to get both civil rights acts\u2014the first and then the Voting Rights [Act] passed in the name of fulfilling Kennedy's promise. Public opinion was stirred in part on Kennedy's support for civil rights and the platform.\n\nThe Bay of Pigs was a huge disappointment to the president. He was angered at himself and those who had planned it. So he asked his brother Robert from then on to keep a special eye on the CIA, and Robert got increasingly important to Kennedy on foreign policy. Robert had come from being an arch cold warrior, starting with his own first passion which was (his opposition to) organized crime and the Communist infiltration of some labor unions. Robert Kennedy, by the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis, was profoundly shaken, as was (President) Kennedy, by the responsibility of dealing with nuclear war.\n\nThe first proposition of the inaugural address was \"man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty and all forms of human life.\" Having that button to push and knowing the Russians had theirs was the great sobering thing.\n\nI believe that because John Kennedy was so rational and so cool and increasingly concerned about the violence of war, he would have been able to do what Johnson emotionally and irrationally could not do: Find a way to get out of Vietnam. He was on the way to resolving that. Remember, Kennedy's other great speech was the peace speech at American University\u2014the same week that he gave the civil rights speech. The civil rights and the peace speeches and the inaugural address are his greatest words.\n\nIn November of 1963, I was the director of the Peace Corps in Ethiopia. I'm sure by cable I was communicating with my boss and friend Sargent Shriver. I think he said that, \"If you can find a way to get here (for the president's funeral), we'd love to have you.\"\n\nI gave up the thought of getting there (to Washington). Then, suddenly my administrative officer came and interrupted my wife and me playing tennis to tell me that the (Ethiopian) Emperor Haile Selassie was going to the funeral. His big jet was landing in Addis Ababa to pick up some members of his party or his family or whoever. My administrative officer Ed Corboy said he was given the understanding that they would be quite happy if I could get there in time to join the plane.\n\n(My wife) Clare said, \"You certainly can't do that, they said the plane is about to land and would only be there a short time.\" And I was in shorts and tennis shoes. I looked at my administrative assistant. Ed was about the same size and he had been dressed for church\u2014it was a Sunday morning. Clare said, \"You can't do it.\"\n\nWe said, \"If you drive the Land Rover, we can change.\" So on the way I changed into Ed's business suit. We got there and Ed knew all the airport people. They said, \"We're waiting, hoping you'll make it. They're just about to leave so you can drive onto the field.\" And they opened the gates. And as we sped along toward the plane, it zoomed forward.\n\nWhere does Kennedy fit in the whole list (of presidential rankings)? Because he was killed after one thousand days, rationally, he can't be at the top with Lincoln or the greatest presidents. But he left an image of the kind of America that, at our best, we like to think of ourselves as\u2014that which the world has yearned for and believed in. That has to do with hope, optimism, can-do spirit. That image became more deeply etched in political memory because of Robert Kennedy's transformation, or change, or growth or transfiguration\u2014that's a romantic way of putting it. The two of them together was a high point in American politics and the promise.\n\nWhat if we had had thirty more years of John Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther King? Who knows? No one knows. I like to think of those three figures as a whole.\nSECTION TWO:\n\nCivil Rights Leaders\n  Julian Bond\n\nFounding member of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee, chairman of the National Association for Advancement of Colored People, professor\n\n\"Kennedy watched the pictures of young people being fire-hosed in the streets of Birmingham, and he told onlookers, 'This makes me sick.'... For him to feel that way and to say that, means he was moved by it, and it shifted him.\"\n\n(ON November 22, 1963) I was having lunch and somebody came into the restaurant and said, \"The president's been shot.\" My first reaction was, because they did not say, \"The president's been killed,\" I thought, \"Gee, what a terrible thing. But he's not dead.\"\n\nWe continued with our meal. I was having lunch with a journalist, and she did not get up and say, \"I've got to go and take care of this.\" It did not seem that pressing to me.\n\nI went back, after lunch, to the office of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee and talked to some other people. And I think, by then, we knew that he was dead.\n\nWe were a civil rights organization. We had been contending with President Kennedy. He had not done most of the things we had wanted him to do. He seemed disinterested in civil rights. He was not our favorite politician.\n\nAnd when we found out he was dead, we knew that meant Lyndon Johnson would be president. We began to call people we knew in Texas who could tell us something about him\u2014progressives, liberals in Texas, who could tell us what kind of person he was, what kind of president he might be.\n\nThey were not encouraging. They thought he would be a step backward. If Kennedy had been, pretty much, a do-nothing president, Johnson would be worse. And we discussed it. We were the kind of people who talked all the time.\n\nLike everybody else, I was glued to the TV. What's going on? What are people doing? What are they talking about? All those iconic scenes that everybody else was drawn to, they drew me, too. Television brought this catastrophic news event into our homes in ways we never thought it would. I never imagined it would.\n\nWhen he ran for office, we were inspired by him. But after he took office, it became fairly clear to us, at least we thought so, that he would not be the flaming liberal we had hoped he would be. Instead, he was cautious. He said early on that he saw no changes coming in the filibuster rule. That was just an awful thing for him to say from our point of view.\n\nSo we thought it was just going to be business as usual. And we were not enamored of him. We were of mixed emotions. On one hand, he and his wife were such attractive figures. Everybody was drawn to them. On the other hand, good looks alone wouldn't do it. It was deeds we were interested in, and there did not seem to be any good deeds forthcoming.\n\nAs time went on, in the months\u2014not the years, but the months\u2014before he was killed, he had begun to shift direction a bit. And you could see him becoming a different person. He introduced a civil rights bill, which became the civil rights bill the next year\u2014the Civil Rights Act of 1964. And that was a wonderful act, but could not have been done without Lyndon Johnson. If Kennedy had lived, it would not have been the bill that Johnson put through Congress. It would not have been as strong.\n\nIt seemed that he (Kennedy) was coming our way, though not as quickly as we wanted him to. Of course, we were young and impatient, angry and so on. When he was killed, you thought something good could happen here. But it's not going to happen now because this guy's been killed. And Lyndon Johnson is going to take his place and God knows who he'll be.\n\nKennedy watched the pictures of young people being fire-hosed in the streets of Birmingham, and he told onlookers, \"This makes me sick.\" And it must have had that effect on most people who saw it. But for him to feel that way and to say that, means he was moved by it, and it shifted him.\n\nI think both John and Robert Kennedy were na\u00efve about civil rights. They knew almost no black people and had few associations with them. This was alien territory to them. And so the Birmingham movement was an eye-opener for John F. Kennedy. And it was an eye-opener for Robert Kennedy, too.\n  Dolores Huerta\n\nLabor leader, advocate for rights of workers, immigrants, and women, co-founder of the National Farm Workers Association\n\n\"One of my friends used to call John Kennedy 'our first Mexican president.' He stood for economic rights, as well as civil rights.\"\n\nI had the chance to meet John Kennedy and his brother, Ted, and turned it down. I was leading a non-partisan voter registration drive in San Diego in 1960 when he was running for the presidency. Being very innocent\u2014running the non-partisan Community Service Organization\u2014I felt I could not do anything partisan. I sent some of my volunteers.\n\nLater, I did see him because he had a parade in San Diego. But it was just a fleeting glimpse.\n\nI also met Robert Kennedy for the first time in San Diego. It was also during the campaign of 1960, during the voter registration drive. TIME magazine had published an article saying that a group of Latinos who were political and who called themselves \"Kennedy Clubs\" had organized the voter registration drive. We had asked some of these people to help us with the drive in San Diego, but they told us they were too busy to walk the streets with us. But then, they took credit for our work, saying they had registered all these people.\n\nRobert Kennedy was going to be speaking at the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego. With the TIME magazine in hand, I went to see him. He saw me walking up the aisle, and he saw my copy of the magazine, and before I could even speak, he stopped me and said, \"Oh, I know it was your CSO (Community Service Organization) that did the voter registration. We'll correct that.\" And he did. He wrote a letter to TIME magazine, giving credit to our organization.\n\nBy 1963, Cesar Chavez and I had started the United Farm Workers Union. I was living in Stockton, California. On November 22, I was driving my young daughters to school. I had the radio on in my car, and the news came on that the president had been shot. And then they announced that two Latinos were seen in the grassy knoll (in Dallas's Dealey Plaza) and that these were the people believed to have fired the shots. Being a Latina, I just felt horrible about it.\n\nI was devastated.\n\nThe first instinct I had\u2014and many other people had\u2014was to go to church immediately. I remember the churches were packed with people. They were absolutely full. We prayed for him and our country.\n\nI was influenced by the 1960 debates (between Kennedy and then-Vice President Richard Nixon). And, being from California, Nixon was not a favorite of ours.\n\nThe very, very famous statement he (Kennedy) made in his inaugural address, \"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country,\" I still believe that now, especially with young people. We live in an age when some people believe that they are so entitled. Being a community organizer, this is basically what we say to people: \"Think about what you can do to help others.\"\n\nOne of my friends used to call John Kennedy \"our first Mexican president.\" He stood for economic rights, as well as civil rights. When the steel workers went on strike, and the steel companies were refusing to settle, he made them (company owners) bring the books in. He said, \"I want to see your books.\" I always thought that the reason he could do that was because he was one of their peers. He could say to them, \"I want to see your books.\"\n\nComparing that with what President Obama had to go through when he was trying to get Congress to approve the health care bill\u2014everything that the (health care companies) put him through, he did not have that peer authenticity that Kennedy or (President Franklin) Roosevelt had with the wealthy, when he (FDR) got the New Deal legislation passed. It was much harder for President Obama.\n\nJohn Kennedy had that kind of authority and he wasn't afraid to use it.\n  John Lewis\n\nChairman of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, Freedom Rider, author, member of United States House of Representatives\n\n\"After the March on Washington...the moment we walked into the door of the Oval Office, he greeted us saying, 'You did a good job.' He was beaming like a proud father...When he got to Dr. King, he said, 'And you have a dream.' That was my last time seeing President Kennedy alive.\"\n\nTHAT day we met with President Kennedy (in June 1963) was my first opportunity to meet him, to literally be in his presence (two months before the March on Washington). I had heard him speak from a distance during the campaign in 1960, but this was my first time standing in the same space with him. I was so moved, honored, and blessed to be in his presence. I admired President Kennedy. The man gave me a great sense of hope and optimism, like he gave the entire country. Even as a candidate for president, his demeanor and style inspired many of us as young people during the sixties.\n\nI did not have much to say during that meeting, and I do not regret not speaking up. I was the youngest person in the room. A. Philip Randolph, who was considerably older, was the dean of our leadership, the dean of the group. He was our spokesperson. It was he who spoke up in his baritone voice, as I recall, and said, \"Mister President, the black masses are restless.\" And he went on to describe what was happening in America and to say that we were going to march on Washington.\n\nWhen President Kennedy heard that, you could tell from his body language that he was not pleased. He began rocking a little more vigorously in his rocking chair. He responded briskly and said something like, \"Mr. Randolph, if you bring all those people to Washington, won't there be violence and chaos and disorder?\"\n\nAnd Mr. Randolph responded and said, \"This will be a peaceful, orderly, non-violent protest.\" The others said a few other words, and before we got up to leave, the President said, \"We have problems, man-made problems that must be solved by men and women of goodwill.\"\n\nJohn Kennedy listened. He listened very well. He listened intently. I just felt that my presence, being a young guy, that I didn't have to say much of anything. After the meeting, we went out to the lawn of the White House to talk with the press and said, \"We had a productive and meaningful meeting with the president of the United States.\"\n\nEven before we met with President Kennedy that first time, he had made, in my estimation, one of the most meaningful speeches that any president had ever made at that time on the question of civil rights. I think that was the speech he gave on June 11 when he said that the question of civil rights and the question of race are moral issues. That confirmed in my own mind, his heart, my sense of his commitment.\n\nAlong the way, I think that he became reluctant to take action because he was concerned about the next election, about holding on to some of the Southern states. And he didn't want to do anything that would make it difficult or impossible to get some of his nominees through, especially in the judiciary. Senator (James) Eastland was the chairman of the Judiciary (Committee), and he (Kennedy) was very concerned about that. He had to be very cautious.\n\nAfter the March on Washington (August 28, 1963), we met with President Kennedy again. He had invited each of the speakers to the White House. The moment we walked into the door of the Oval Office, he greeted us saying, \"You did a good job.\" He was beaming like a proud father. He was glad that everything had gone off so well. He said to each one of us, \"You did a good job, you did a good job.\" And when he got to Dr. King, he said, \"And you have a dream.\" That was my last time seeing President Kennedy alive.\n\n(On November 22, 1963) I was in Nashville, getting into a car on my way to Detroit, and I was going to make a stop in Urbana at the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana to recruit students for the movement. Then I was planning to go on to Detroit to speak at a union event. When we heard the president had been shot, we cancelled the meeting in Illinois and we drove straight to Detroit. That meeting turned into a memorial service for President Kennedy.\n\nIt was just a very sad time. I had had family members pass, my great-grandfather, great-grandmother, other relatives, but never someone so prominent whom I had met, someone whom I admired and identified with. I felt that President Kennedy, even during his campaign, and then in his election, he created such a sense of hope and optimism. I've said that when President Kennedy was assassinated, and I've said the same thing about Dr. King and Bobby, something died in us. I know something died in me. I think something died in America.\n\nThose of us who lived through that period can never, ever forget it. I sometimes wonder what would our country be like, what would our world be like, if President Kennedy had lived.\n\nThe place for him (in my heart) is still real, still strong and deep. His personality, his voice, his sense that we as a nation can do almost anything. That drive, energy, the commitment, the dedication. The idea that we can go places as a nation and as a world community that we have never gone before. It is still there.\n\nSometimes when I'm working in politics, I often think, \"What would President Kennedy do? What would President Kennedy say?\" The same can be applied to Dr. King and Bobby Kennedy. I think these three men helped influence and mold my life. I'm eternally grateful that somehow, some way, they impacted me.\n\nDuring the weekend leading up to the funeral service for President Kennedy, we were holding a meeting in Washington at Howard University, and I proposed at the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) conference that we go out to the John F. Kennedy grave and pay tribute to him. But my fellow members of the SNCC staff did not want to be part of that. For many reasons, they vetoed the idea. Much later, I had the opportunity to go (to the gravesite). From time to time, I go out and (pause)...\n\nThere are ups and downs in life and in a nation's history, but you can never lose hope. I think that's what the lives of Dr. King and Robert Kennedy and President Kennedy say to us. These three young men inspired us to hold on and keep the faith, to be hopeful, be optimistic about the future.\n\nPresident John F. Kennedy's commitment, his dedication, his inspiration, his leadership continue to inspire people today. Many young people and many people not so young, many my age, people younger, people older still say, \"I got involved in public service, I got involved working for a non-profit, got involved with the Peace Corps because of President Kennedy.\"\n\nAnd several members of Congress say, \"It was John F. Kennedy who inspired me to do something with my life.\" People became teachers, they became lawyers and doctors. When I went to Africa for the first time in 1964, young Africans in West Africa, Central and East Africa, were talking about President Kennedy. And still, all these years after his death, he is a great source of inspiration. All over America and around the world.\n  Roger Wilkins\n\nAssistant to the Administrator of the United States Agency for International Development, Assistant Attorney General in Johnson administration, Pulitzer Prize\u2013winning journalist, professor\n\n\"He said, 'Keep up the good work. We're lucky to have you.' I floated for a week. He was really interested in what this young, Negro man was doing and how it felt to be working in his administration.... It was no b.s.\"\n\nI knocked on doors for John Kennedy in 1960. We said, \"We're from the Democratic youth group and we'd like you to vote for Kennedy.\" We handed people pamphlets. Sometimes, we got the door slammed on us. But I would say more than 50 percent of the time people were decent. I was twenty-eight years old.\n\nI met John Kennedy after he was elected president. It was in the basement parking garage of the State Department. My boss, the USAID Administrator, was driven to and from the office in a limousine, so he allowed me to use his parking spot. As you may know, Kennedy did many of his press conferences in a theater in the State Department building, and one day, I came driving in and there were four or five cars lined up, including the presidential limousine. I got out of my car and the Secret Service agents looked at me, then all of a sudden, there he was. He was smiling and we walked toward each other.\n\nI said, \"Hello, my name is Roger Wilkins.\"\n\nHe remarked, \"Oh yes, Mr. Wilkins, very nice to meet you.\"\n\nAnd I thought to myself, \"He's heard of me? He knows me?\"\n\nI was three degrees from peeing in my pants.\n\nHe asked me, \"Well, how do you like it here at USAID?\"\n\nI responded, \"I'm very pleased to be here.\"\n\nThe president went on. \"What are you working on?\" he asked.\n\nI told him I was trying to fashion programs for Africa and also trying to make some sense out of the war in Vietnam.\n\n\"What else do you do?\" Kennedy asked me.\n\n\"Whatever the administrator wants,\" I responded. \"I deal with the inspector general. In fact, I meet with him every two weeks.\"\n\nThe president said, \"You're doing good work.\"\n\nAt this point, I'm giddy.\n\nThen, it clicked: He asked if I was related to Roy Wilkins, and I said, \"Yes, he's my uncle.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" the president responded, \"He's a fine man. We rely on him a lot.\"\n\nHe said, \"Keep up the good work. We're lucky to have you.\" And then he got into his car.\n\nI floated for a week. There was no question John Kennedy was a nice and polite man, as well as a good politician. He was really interested in what this young, Negro man was doing and how it felt to be working in his administration. I think we chatted for five to ten minutes. It was no b.s. I had heard from my uncle that Kennedy was like that, very engaging.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, there was an enormous explosion in my life and in my spirit. I was in Puerto Rico looking at possible locations for a police training center as part of USAID's work in Central America. We recognized that if you do not have good police, you cannot have an enriched economy. We were staying in the San Juan Hilton and I walked into the lobby. It was very quiet. It was weird. People looked shell-shocked. People were moving quietly. There was a kind of eerie silence.\n\nI said to myself, \"Something's wrong.\" I asked a busboy, and he looked at us and said, \"Kennedy el morte,\" and he made a fist and bounced it on the side of his head.\n\nI thought, \"What?! The president of the United States killed? No way. It didn't happen!\"\n\nWe soon learned it indeed had happened and we cut our trip short and flew back to Washington.\n\nJohn Kennedy helped us believe in ourselves, that we, as Americans, could do big things. He lifted our spirits and made us proud of ourselves. His youth, his attractiveness, his elegance of phrase. And, of course, Jackie. He was Mr. Cool. His self-effacing humor, as demonstrated by his comment when he visited France, \"I am the man who escorted Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris and I enjoyed it.\"\n\n(Senator) Pat Moynihan said it right: \"We may smile again, but we will never be young again.\"\n  Andrew Young\n\nExecutive Director of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, mayor of Atlanta, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations during Carter administration\n\n\"His legacy really is hope in the American people. He put the burden of responsibility to maintain this vision on the people.\"\n\n(IN 1960) there was almost no attention paid to the black vote, and the fact that he showed up in a black community in Chicago\u2014I think the name of the place was Park Meadows. I had an aunt who was living there. It was a middle class high-rise on the south side. They had a rally there in the parking lot. We weren't used to seeing presidential candidates come into the heart of a black community that way. He stood on a truck and addressed the crowd directly.\n\nHe had a very interesting speaking style. You felt like he was talking to you. And he wasn't making promises. He was, by and large, reaffirming his faith in the country and his faith in us as a people. And I think part of what inspired me\u2014and this was before he asked, \"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.\" That message was: \"We've got to pull together to straighten this world out, and we can do it.\"\n\nI knew Hubert Humphrey. And I liked Hubert Humphrey. I was always a Hubert Humphrey fan. It was like Obama and Hillary (in 2008). I knew Hillary (Clinton) much better than I knew Obama. And I was a supporter of Hillary. I didn't give up on Hillary as quickly as I gave up on Humphrey. I just felt that Kennedy was a younger clarion voice that the country would respond to.\n\n(On November 22, 1963) we were working with the citizenship education program, where we brought local leaders from across the South together, to train them in non-violence and citizenship education. To organize their neighbors to pass literacy tests and to get the right to vote. We had about fifty people at Penn Community Center in South Carolina. And these were poor black people for the most part from Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, South Carolina, and Georgia. And they were all very religious.\n\nNot only did we cry, but immediately we ended the conference, and the whole thing turned into a prayer meeting. People got down on their knees and prayed for the life of the president.\n\nDr. Martin Luther King Jr. saw President Kennedy's death as his own death. At the time he said, \"If they can't protect the president, there's nothing we can do. When they're ready for you, you're gone. And you don't have anything to say about when you go or how you go. You're gonna die. We're all gonna die. That's the one universal for all mankind. And we have no choice about when or how. The only choice we have is 'What is it that we are willing to die for?'\"\n\n(I was inspired by John Kennedy) in his willingness to insist that America be a global leader and I think that's what is required now. He was leading the nation and the world politically and in the area of atomic weapons and outer space. But what's needed now is someone who can create an economy that works well for everybody. And the strength that he brought to the office was that he was not an ideologue. He was a visionary.\n\nHis legacy really is hope in the American people. He built on the early constitutional vision and the government of the people, by the people, for the people of Lincoln. He put the burden of responsibility to maintain this vision on the people. The term usually used is \"American exceptionalism.\" I think what John Kennedy was saying is, \"We have to own up to the privileges and blessings that God has allowed this nation to develop.\"\n\nAnd I would say that my version of his legacy would be that \"to whom much has been given, of them much will be required.\" That was true of his brothers, Robert and Ted. They believed not only in the exceptionalism of the nation, but of their family and of the people. Those who are blessed must choose to serve others.\nSECTION THREE:\n\nChildren of Kennedy Advisors and Others\n  David Acheson\n\nAttorney, scholar, son of former Secretary of State Dean Acheson\n\n\"I think Jack was a first rate public figure, that is, he knew how to handle himself in public. He was not, I think, a distinguished public servant. I was always a little disappointed in Jack because I thought he did not come up to the glamour he inspired.\"\n\nI first met Jack Kennedy in late September of 1960. I and a couple of others, because of our experience in previous campaigns, had been asked to go to New York City and run the five borough area for his campaign. The first time Jack came through, we were billeted at the old Biltmore Hotel\u2014that was the location of both the statewide and local Democratic headquarters. Mike Prendergast was the state chairman. Carmine DeSapio was the New York chairman, so we brought Jack into the hotel for a meeting with them.\n\nHe looked at me and asked, \"Do you mind if I ask you a question?\"\n\nI said, \"Of course not.\"\n\nHe said, \"What am I doing in this crummy hotel?\"\n\nWe explained why we were there. He was used to the Carlyle. The Biltmore was a few notches below his standards.\n\nThen he asked, \"So, what are we up to?\"\n\n\"The first thing on your calendar tomorrow is to meet the cardinal,\" I said. \"And the problem you have, of course, is that the Southern Baptists don't like you being a Catholic. And if you offend the cardinal, your Catholic supporters will take it amiss. So the question is, 'Do you kiss his ring when you are introduced to him, or do you just shake his hand?'\"\n\nJack, without any hesitation, said, \"Most of my Catholic friends and supporters think I'm not a very good Catholic, so I don't have much to fear from them. I have more to fear from the Southerners. So I think it's pretty obvious. I'll just shake his hand.\"\n\nI said, \"Well, that's our recommendation.\"\n\nHe said, \"OK, what's next on the agenda?\"\n\nSo we organized his moves for the next couple of days and then he left town. He came back several more times and the last time was the debate with Nixon. We took him over to the studio. But we were not permitted to be visible. We were very confident that he was doing well in the campaign. He was almost idolized by the press. Everything in his nature seemed to be in contrast with President Eisenhower.\n\nAnd he was quite the opposite of Nixon in his manner, appearance, and personality\u2014all of that was helping him immensely. Nixon regarded reporters as a risk and wanted to minimize his risk by not talking to them any more than he had to. Jack, like FDR, saw them as a medium, a medium that was perfectly prepared to cooperate.\n\nWe didn't see a lot of him during the campaign. We organized his moves in New York, communicated them to his campaign staff, and they would take off and handle it. We were not very visible and we did not want to be.\n\nAfter he was elected, I only saw him socially once or twice.\n\nI was taken with his personality. The thing that worried me was whether he was just a glib, attractive, superficial phenomenon. And close to the time he was assassinated, I began to realize that he was not really happy about being a leader in the civil rights campaign, because that threatened his position in the South.\n\nOn the other hand, Bobby Kennedy was attorney general when I became U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia. I reported to Bobby, and I became convinced that Bobby, in spite of his reputation as being ruthless and cynical, really wasn't. He made some bad alliances early in his life through the political connections of his father.\n\nBobby was really interested in public service, including promoting civil rights. I completely changed my opinion about Bobby. We were never intimate friends, but we got to the point where, since I had a place on Cape Cod, we would fly up together and talk about various issues. Toward the end of his tenure as attorney general, some were pushing him to be LBJ's running mate in 1964. We would joke about this on the plane. When Johnson announced that no one in his Cabinet\u2014or sub-Cabinet\u2014would be considered to be his running mate, this was obviously a transparent formula for dismissing Bobby.\n\nJack seemed always preoccupied by his image, by the publicity about him. He was very sensitive to that. I got the impression he was a little too self-obsessed. And a little too cynical. He was worried about the civil rights movement because he did not want to alienate the South. He was worried about national security issues and worried about risking war with the Soviets over Berlin. All those things were worth worrying about, of course. I felt he was sort of paralyzed by the size of those problems and the difficulty of those decisions. I don't think he handled foreign affairs very well. He was risk-averse, and he was inexperienced. He did not have people around who were very good. Dean Rusk, who had worked for my father, was very hesitant, very timid, very poor at clear communication about what he thought the president should do.\n\nOn November 22, I had been working in my office and walked up half a block to a sandwich shop to get a quick lunch, and when I came back, my secretary said, \"Oh, Mr. Acheson, have you heard the awful news?\"\n\nAnd I hadn't. There was no television in the place where I was having my sandwich. But everyone in the office had heard it by then. It was, of course, a very, very sad day.\n\nI think Jack was a first rate public figure, that is, he knew how to handle himself in public. He was not, I think, a distinguished public servant. I was always a little disappointed in Jack because I thought he did not come up to the glamour he inspired. He had a potential that was greater than what he realized.\n\nJack had a breezy manner. His mind was quick; his responses were quick. He had a sardonic sense of humor. He liked ironies and gallows humor. I was attracted to him immediately for those reasons. My father enjoyed him as a person, but was more skeptical.\n  Fernando Chavez\n\nAttorney, son of Cesar Chavez, co-founder of the National Farm Workers Association\n\n\"(L)ook at that time period, in the homes of Latinos, you would see calendars, posters, and photographs of President Kennedy. And you would see images of the Virgin Mary. That's the stature, that's the reverence with which he was perceived in Latino homes.\"\n\nI saw and heard him at a rally in Los Angeles in 1960. I was probably eleven years old. We were living then in East Los Angeles, and my dad was running the Community Service Organization. For its time, it was quite a militant organization, advocating things that were just not kosher: trying to register people, especially Hispanics, to vote; and forming what were called \"Viva Kennedy\" clubs.\n\nIt may have been the first time there was an organized, concerted effort on the part of Latinos to form a campaign for a presidential candidate. A lot of it had to do with the fact John Kennedy inspired a sense of hope and aspiration in people like my dad and Dolores Huerta, who were young, idealistic, and who were looking for a better way, not just for their children, but for their community as well.\n\nDuring the campaign, my dad was doing the \"get out the vote.\" One day, he recruited about thirty kids to distribute leaflets. It was a Saturday and it was raining like hell\u2014a miserable day. We made our own leaflets on an old mimeograph machine. We made thousands and thousands of flyers, and we kids were distributing the flyers to homes in Los Angeles. It was all day. We each were to be paid five dollars.\n\nAt the end of the day, someone from the Kennedy campaign gave a speech. It may have been a family member. My dad then asked everybody to come up onto the stage. He gave each one of the kids five dollars and then the campaign representative shook the hand of each kid. My name was called last. I had earmarked my five dollars and planned to spend it on something special. I walked onto the stage, and as I am about to get my five dollars, my dad turns to the audience and says, \"And Fernando is going to donate his five dollars to the campaign!\"\n\nKeep in mind, I am eleven years old. I don't know anything about the political process. But I'm determined to buy something very special with this money. And, all of a sudden, I have it taken from me. I wanted to die. My dad never thought how impactful that would be. When we got home, I told my mother and she could not believe it. She wound up giving me the five dollars.\n\nMy dad said, \"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just wanted people to know how much we believe in this and how important this campaign is. How important this candidate (John Kennedy) is. How his election will make life better for us.\" He started giving me the political speech.\n\nSo I was baptized very early.\n\nIn 1962, we moved from Los Angeles to Delano, California. At that time, my father was starting to attract some national notoriety for his work creating the National Farm Workers Association. There were not a lot of Hispanics who were particularly prominent. That's when he was offered a job with the Kennedy administration running the Peace Corps in Latin America.\n\nThere are maybe a half dozen events that are imprinted and etched in my memory. This is one of them. My father had this habit\u2014with important decisions\u2014to gather our family for a family meeting, a discussion, and a vote. I don't know if this was to get us to endorse a decision he already had made, or in this case, to accept the fact that we were taking a vow of poverty. We were a family of ten living in a two-bedroom home. We all sat down at the dinner table and he said, \"Listen, I have been given this offer. It's a good offer. It's more money than I've ever made.\"\n\nWhatever the salary was\u2014twenty or thirty thousand dollars a year\u2014in the 1960s, that was pretty significant money.\n\nHe went on, \"We won't have to live in a small house. We'll have a big house with plenty of bedrooms. We'll probably have a maid, who will cook. We'll have people who will clean the house. And people to help your mom.\"\n\nHe went on and on about all the positive things. All these things are impressionable for children who don't have anything. Who are struggling and just trying to get by day-to-day.\n\nThen he says, \"But I won't be able to help farm workers.\" And he had a tear in his eye. For me and the older children it was very impactful.\n\nHe said, \"OK, let's vote.\"\n\nHe cut up pieces of paper and wrote on them, \"Yes to go,\" and \"No to stay and help farm workers.\"\n\nWe all voted and put our pieces of paper in a little plastic bowl. He mixed them up. He pulled out the first piece and read it: \"No to stay and help farm workers.\" All but one were the same, \"Stay and help farm workers.\" One of the votes said, \"I want to go and have a big house.\" It was my little brother, who afterward, said, \"I want to go. I'm tired of eating potatoes all the time!\"\n\nI don't tell that story very often. As I got older, I came to realize how important, how committed he was to what he was doing. He had a lifelong commitment, a commitment beyond the human norm. For people committed to causes, it is beyond just a commitment, it is your essence. It is who you are.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was fourteen years old and in middle school in Delano. President Kennedy's assassination was announced over the loudspeaker. My dad was devastated. I remember watching the (funeral) procession on our little black and white television with my father and my mother. And seeing my dad's tears coming down from his eyes. He said, \"This was a special person. He was going to make a difference for the country.\"\n\nKennedy's election triggered a sense of idealism, of hope, or anticipation. The Kennedy aura was elevated and grew out of the 1960s. A lot of the legislation that impacted minorities came afterward, from the Lyndon Johnson administration. But if you look at that time period, in the homes of Latinos, you would see calendars, posters, and photographs of President Kennedy. And you would see images of the Virgin Mary. That's the stature, that's the reverence with which he was perceived in Latino homes.\n  Nancy, Kate, and Walter Jr. (\"Chip\") Cronkite\n\nChildren of Walter Cronkite, former CBS News anchor\n\n\"Once Dad told me he thought his breaking down on air was unprofessional, but apparently he didn't say this to anyone else and it may have just been a passing thought.\"\n\nNancy Cronkite\n\nON November 22, 1963, I was on the bus after school\u2014the Brearley School in New York\u2014and the flags were at half-mast. The rumor spread on the bus that the president had been killed. I got off the bus and went to my friend's house on East Seventy-Eighth Street. Her mother answered the door, and I pushed past her.\n\nShe was a friend of my mother and quite pretentious; she looked shocked and astonished. I said, \"I have to watch TV right now.\" She must have thought I was quite mad, but she soon realized the catastrophe that had happened.\n\nI probably turned on CBS to watch my father, but I truly cannot remember. When I first heard the news, I don't believe I thought of my father necessarily. It's hard for me to watch the news footage of my father announcing the president's death. I feel nostalgia when I see those images of him.\n\nGrowing up, the conversation at our dinner table was always about world affairs and politics. I've kind of rebelled against that. I don't follow politics in any great depth.\n\nHow would I describe John Kennedy's legacy? I was twelve years old when he was elected. He was a charming man, the first handsome president I ever saw, the kind a girl could have a crush on. I can't imagine anyone having a crush on Mr. Johnson or Mr. Nixon. Presidents Clinton and Obama also are charming; they were so gracious to come to my dad's memorial service.\n\nOf course, one of Kennedy's most important legacies is the Peace Corps.\n\nKate Cronkite\n\nI was thirteen years old on November 22 and was on the bus after school with a friend on the way to Woolworth's to buy cheap makeup. It was announced on the bus that the President had been killed and we thought it was a joke. I remember saying, \"Yeah, sure\u2014Lincoln!\" It was announced again in the store and we headed home. Like other people, I watched Dad on TV the rest of the day. It was comforting to have Dad to watch.\n\nOnce Dad told me he thought his breaking down on air was unprofessional, but apparently he didn't say this to anyone else and it may have just been a passing thought.\n\nWhat is John Kennedy's legacy? To me, he was the first youthful president who seemed to look to an optimistic and exciting future, with a vision of how great a nation we could be, revolutionary in its inclusion of social justice and science in that vision. That was the impression of a teenager who previously hadn't paid much attention to politics.\n\nThere was a lovely book I still remember called That Special Grace by Benjamin Bradlee. It summarized the John Kennedy that I like to think of.\n\nWalter Jr. (\"Chip\") Cronkite\n\nToday, watching my father's announcement of President Kennedy's death, I think of my father, not necessarily President Kennedy. I feel a bit emotional when I see him emotional. We're not used to seeing our fathers get emotional.\n\nI've also watched with some emotion the interview my father did with President Kennedy in September of 1963, the one that inaugurated the thirty-minute news broadcast for CBS. And during the 1960 campaign, my father called John Kennedy on his political sportsmanship after Kennedy wanted to re-shoot some portions of an interview.\n\nMy dad generally never discussed the assassination coverage at the dinner table. Rather, he often talked about minutiae from that evening's broadcast, not necessarily the big policy issues or stories of the day.\n\nKennedy's legacy, at least one aspect of it, is a celebrity legacy. How that affects the president and his own self-image can become a trap. You sometimes do what you think is expected of you because you want to look good.\n\nAnd, of course, one wonders whether he would have pulled us out of Vietnam. Going back, a few years after the end of World War II, we got engaged in Vietnam. Kennedy was just a middle layer in that whole process.\n  Casey Murrow\n\nEducator, son of Edward R. Murrow, journalist, director of United States Information Agency\n\n\"It was a brave step to give that speech during the campaign in relation to the Catholic Church. It also was a great message for people of my age at the time\u2014that we need to separate religion and politics.\"\n\nI met John Kennedy for the first time when my father was sworn in as the Director of the United States Information Agency. I was sixteen years old and, for a kid that age, just going to the White House was exciting. I was, of course, excited that President Kennedy had been elected. He was interested in everyone around him, including me. He didn't focus on me to any great degree, but he was welcoming of someone of my age and not just looking to the \"more important\" people who were there.\n\nIn addition to my parents, the president, and me\u2014those in the photograph\u2014there were others there. It may be that Dean Rusk, the Secretary of State, was there. And I'm sure other White House staff members were there. I was very proud of my father. Of course, I didn't fully understand the job he was taking.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was a senior at school at Milton Academy outside of Boston. I was dumbfounded, like all my other classmates, when we heard the news. It was private school with children of many Republicans. They weren't all Kennedy supporters, but they were all shocked. They were all stunned. I went downstairs in my dormitory into a room with a television.\n\nMy father also was stunned and overcome. Because he was recuperating from cancer surgery, he couldn't do much for the administration. He was in the hospital; he wasn't at his post. He was quite upset that he could not be part of the USIA effort in reporting the story.\n\nMy parents later told me that Washington felt so subdued. A lot of people had questions on how the Johnson administration would function, especially in the first few days. No one really knew and my dad was somewhat out of the loop. My father's reflections would have been completely different if he had been able to participate.\n\nYes, I was influenced by John Kennedy, especially in his call to public service. Within two years of the president's death, I was in college at Yale and volunteering for a program tutoring inner-city kids in New Haven. I have worked in or with public schools ever since. In retrospect, I was very influenced by John Kennedy, but I'm not sure at the time I realized it.\n\nOne of his legacies was the focus on the separation of church and state. It was a brave step to give that speech during the campaign in relation to the Catholic Church. It also was a great message for people of my age at the time\u2014that we need to separate religion and politics. I have often wished that part of his legacy could have been to see a way through the quagmire of Vietnam that Johnson was unable to avoid.\n\nHe (Kennedy) was one of the most influential figures of the middle of the twentieth century. He touched the lives of so many\u2014even those who did not agree with him. He reached out to a variety of constituencies and pursued what, at the time, seemed like forward looking progressive ideas in so many realms.\n\nHe really was the first young, energetic president since Teddy Roosevelt.\n  Craig McNamara\n\nOrganic farmer, son of Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense\n\n\"'Dad, if you felt our strategic involvement in Vietnam was wrong, why could you not have spoken out on that earlier?' He believed it was his role to serve those presidents and not to be a public voice against foreign policy. His concept of service was different than mine, as was his concept of allegiance.\"\n\nI have several fond memories of meeting both President Kennedy and Mrs. Kennedy on many occasions. One of the earliest memories is when Mrs. Kennedy invited several of us to the screening of the film PT 109. I recall sitting in the White House private screening room. It was warm, relaxed, and very kid-friendly. All of Bobby and Ethel's children were there and the adults were happy. I remember sitting on the floor watching the film.\n\nOur family's friendship with Bobby and Ethel Kennedy's family was very strong. Kathleen, Joe, and Bobby Jr. were all my friends so we spent a lot of time together. The screening in 1963 included the Shrivers and other Kennedy family members.\n\nI also remember some other occasions: flying off from the South Lawn in a helicopter with the president and Mrs. Kennedy, and my mom and dad going to Camp David. I knew at certain times in my life, some things were very unique, very special. But I had no understanding of just how unique and special this particular event was. The fact is that this would happen only twice in my life and it would be a memory I would have forever. Landing at Camp David, I remember the natural beauty of the forests and the rustic cabins. President Kennedy was in his rocking chair in his cabin, sitting around the fireplace; this, too, left a lasting impression. I also recall there were no other kids there at that particular time, so I was encouraged to head off to the bowling alley. \"Go try some bowling,\" said one of the Secret Service agents.\n\nI have many memories of my father's work with President Kennedy: the allegiance, the pride, the call to service that my dad felt to this remarkable human being. Jackie wrote to my dad throughout the sixties, seventies, and eighties. The letters demonstrated a deep respect and friendship between the president and my father, and among my father, Jackie, and my mother. The letters were very supportive and complimentary, thanking him repeatedly over these decades for his service to the president and the country. Jacqueline Kennedy was one of my father's closest confidants after my mother's death.\n\nAnd even years later, when I asked him, \"Dad, if you felt our strategic involvement in Vietnam was wrong, why could you not have spoken out on that earlier? And why did you wait so many years to reveal these beliefs after you were Secretary of Defense?\"\n\nHe responded that he was appointed by two presidents as a cabinet member and believed it was his role to serve those presidents and not to be a public voice against foreign policy. His concept of service was different than mine, as was his concept of allegiance.\n\nMy father would come home from the Pentagon, sometimes at eight or nine o'clock in the evening, and he would rest his hand on the Cuban Missile Crisis calendar that President Kennedy gave him. This is a silver calendar mounted on black walnut with the month of October of 1962. The thirteen days of the crisis are embossed. Dad kept it on the coffee table in the living room. He would put his three middle fingers on the indented dates of the calendar, similar to reading braille, and remember those fateful days. I didn't understand it at the time, but I could see him so deeply moved. He lived with that memory for the rest of his life.\n\nThe letters from Jackie to him at that time are incredible. One of them, dated October 25, 1962, reads in part:\n\nDear Bob,\n\nYou must be very tired. I cannot find the right words to say all the things I feel. I am so proud of you and so grateful you are here. That sounds so pompous and sentimental. Please know, this is not said as Jack's wife, but just as a plain person...\n\nShe went on to say that she felt the whole world might be coming to an end.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was a student at Sidwell Friends School in Washington. I received the news of the assassination over the school PA system; the principal requested that I come to the office during his announcement to the student body. I remember walking out, and my mom was in our blue Ford Galaxy with our dog, picking me up at three o'clock that afternoon. I was absolutely crushed. Driving home, I was wondering how this could have happened; then I think I just fell into my bed sobbing, with my dog as my companion, for the next several hours.\n\nThat night, Mom and Dad and I drove that same Galaxy out to Bethesda Naval Hospital where the president's body had been driven. I was waiting in the car while Dad was in with Mrs. Kennedy. These are very profound memories. I have photographs of that evening that are rather haunting, to say the least.\n\nDad was very involved in selecting the president's gravesite. Along with Bobby, he chose one of the most strategic and beautiful locations overlooking the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument.\n\nAfter the assassination, when Mrs. Kennedy moved out of the White House and into her home in Georgetown, I went over multiple times after school to play with Caroline and John. I would have been thirteen and I cherished these times with them. Mrs. Kennedy sent me some of John-John's drawings and his little notes to me. As tragic as it may sound, they were all of airplanes and helicopters, and him flying. From age three.\n\nThe early sixties were a magnificent time in our collective history. I'm not certain that had the president lived, his vision of Camelot, the New Frontier, and the goals of his Cabinet members would have been fulfilled. He was taken away from us in such a violent and critical fashion. This vision is frozen in time. But nothing really freezes in time; everything effects change. And I think life for that presidency would have changed significantly. I can't predict. It's like predicting where we would have been in the seventies, eighties, and nineties if we had not struggled so desperately in Vietnam. How would our lives have changed today if we had not invaded Iraq?\n\nThese are issues one cannot fathom.\n\nMy own personal feeling is that Camelot would have changed and that the realities of Vietnam and civil rights would have significantly altered his presidency. But he was successful in bringing together a remarkable group of people.\n\nThere was a tremendous amount of humor and goodwill. For these young Cabinet members and their families, can you imagine what it was like to be in that era? There was tremendous hopefulness coming out of the fifties. We had a president and first lady who demonstrated grace and had an appreciation for culture, worldliness, and justice. It must have been pretty damn exciting.\n  David Rusk\n\nUrban policy expert, scholar, son of Dean Rusk, Secretary of State\n\n\"I began to wander around the family quarters all alone. I blundered into the Lincoln Bedroom and there, on the Lincoln night-table next to the Lincoln Bed, was a hardcover copy of Ian Fleming's Thunderball.\"\n\nI saw President Kennedy twice. The first time was from afar. He came to the campus of the University of California at Berkeley in March, 1962 to speak in Memorial Stadium for Cal's Charter Day. There were fifty thousand to sixty thousand people there.\n\nThe second time was up close. It was October 22, 1963. The night before, my dad called me and said, \"Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis, and the president has invited all the members of the ExCom to meet with him. He wants to give each of us a memento. Why don't you come by the house tomorrow morning, and we'll drive down together and I'll introduce you to the president?\"\n\nSo I went with my dad to the White House. President Kennedy did indeed have all the members of the ExCom there and I got to meet all of them. Kennedy gave each an engraved calendar of the month of October, 1962, with all the crucial days outlined, and with October 22 having a double outline.\n\nThe group had initially convened on the second floor of the White House in the family quarters. My first impression of President Kennedy was that he was standing very straight, almost as if he was suspended from a coat hanger. He must have had his back brace on.\n\nHe was quite cordial. He asked me, \"Have you ever seen the family quarters?\"\n\nI said, \"No.\"\n\nHe said, \"Well, while you're up here, why don't you have a look around?\"\n\nSo when shortly thereafter all the ExCom members went downstairs, either to the Cabinet Room or the Oval Office, I began to wander around the family quarters all alone. I blundered into the Lincoln Bedroom and there, on the Lincoln night-table next to the Lincoln Bed, was a hardcover copy of Ian Fleming's Thunderball. You may not be aware, but it was President Kennedy who helped launch the James Bond mania in the United States when it became known in 1962 that he was a great fan of the James Bond novels. Just after I stepped out of the Lincoln Bedroom, a White House usher caught up with me. I'm quite sure that he did not want strangers running around the family quarters so he gave me a hurried and perfunctory tour and I was on my way.\n\nA month later to the day, President Kennedy was assassinated.\n\n(On November 22, 1963) there was no school as the D.C. public schools were holding training sessions for teachers. As a local Urban League staffer, I was asked to speak on the civil rights movement to a group of teachers at an elementary school on North Capitol Street, a few blocks from the Urban League offices. The classroom where the session was being conducted must have been next to the school's office, and at one point, I heard a loud gasp through the wall. A few moments later, a secretary came in, clearly shaken. I was the panelist sitting closest to the door, and she handed me a note saying that President Kennedy had been shot and killed in Dallas. At that moment, her principal was speaking. I waited until she finished and then I got up and made the announcement.\n\nIt was like a thunderbolt. Most of the teachers in the room were black women and they were stricken, tears running down their faces. But we finished the workshop because the world's work must go on.\n\nAfter leaving the school, I walked down New York Avenue toward the White House. People on the street were grey. I took a bus home to (my wife) Delcia. Watching the TV news, we talked. We commiserated. And I have a photo taken that weekend, lying on a sofa with my eyes shut and with my week-old son Gregory lying on my chest. Having this new life at a time of a sudden and tragic loss of such an inspiring figure gave me great comfort.\n\nMy mom and dad that day were on an airplane over the Pacific heading for Japan with other members of the president's administration. They turned the plane back to Washington and I spoke with my dad on Saturday. I saw him the next day, Sunday, when I rode with him in a State Department car to the Treasury Department next to the White House. Treasury Secretary C. Douglas Dillon had set aside a corner office in the building for Cabinet members and their families to view the procession transferring the president's coffin from the White House down Pennsylvania Avenue to the Capitol for public viewing.\n\nOn the drive to the Treasury Department, my dad remarked that, \"What really worries me is that I hope they've got tight security around Lee Harvey Oswald.\" No sooner had we arrived in the garage of the Treasury Department then a security man opened the door to the car and said, \"Well, they got Oswald.\" That was the first we had heard that Jack Ruby had shot Oswald, which had just happened on national TV. My dad really wanted to get to the bottom of the assassination, and of course, Oswald's murder helped generate an industry of conspiracy theories that, for some people, haven't ended yet.\n\nI would characterize John F. Kennedy's legacy by the title of Robert Dallek's book, An Unfinished Life. I was an admirer of Kennedy, but I was savvy enough not to be starry-eyed. In the summer of 1963, I volunteered through the Urban League (which subsequently offered me a staff job) to help organize the great civil rights March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. I remember full well that the march was launched, in part, to motivate President Kennedy and his brother Robert, the attorney general, to do more about civil rights. Ultimately, the president embraced the event, hosting some of the civil rights leaders at the White House afterwards.\n\nPresident Kennedy faced great difficulty moving his proposal on civil rights through Congress because of the alliance between southern Democrats and conservative Republicans. My dad said that President Kennedy approached civil rights issues in a cool, dispassionate manner as contrasted with Lyndon Johnson, who felt racial injustice in every bone in his body.\n  Steven Schlesinger\n\nUnited Nations expert, scholar, son of Arthur Schlesinger Jr., Special Assistant to the President\n\n\"On Vietnam, which is the one issue where there's the ambiguity that hangs like a black cloud over Kennedy's presidency... I think he was desperately looking for an exit.\"\n\nMY father taught at Harvard from 1946 up until the time he joined the Kennedy Administration in 1961. He used to give a lawn party at the end of the college year, following the university's commencement ceremony. He would always have an afternoon reception for people who got honorary degrees, or who were guests at Harvard. Then-Senator Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy came occasionally to those parties, and I think that was the first time I ever met them. Even though, then, he was not yet president and did not have a national reputation, he and his wife were still a rather glamorous couple. I don't recall necessarily talking to either one of them.\n\nThe first encounter I had with him that was of any real value was when then-President-elect Kennedy came to my father's house in December of 1960 to use my father's house as a meeting place to talk to a number of different people\u2014professors at MIT and at Harvard\u2014to ask if they would join his administration. He came with a police escort and stopped in front of our house which was on Irving Street in Cambridge. I recall a lot of photographers and Secret Service agents around our house. When he came into our home, he sat in our living room. The door was closed when he was interviewing people. At one point, my father opened the door and brought me into the living room and Kennedy got up and shook my hand. And that was my first real encounter with him as president-elect and also as somebody who recognized me as an individual, as opposed to just being one of the children in the backyard during the time my father is giving commencement parties.\n\nThe second time\u2014and the one time I had a really vivid encounter with him\u2014was when my father was in the White House as a Special Assistant to the President. We (my father and I) were wandering down one of the outside porticos leading to the Rose Garden and we bumped into the president. He was then on crutches because his back was acting up. But he was in an ebullient mood. He was swinging his legs back and forth while leaning on the crutches. He must have just returned from Palm Beach because he had a tan. He honestly looked like a Roman god in my young eyes. He was such an attractive-looking guy anyway, but that tan and the vitality that exuded from his persona were overwhelming. It was almost like he was an immortal figure, in the classic sense of the word.\n\nHe and my father were talking about Latin America. He (the president) was kind of half-looking at me and saying, \"Should we intervene? Should we send down the troops?\" I was amazed that he was even talking to me about what I expect were national security secrets, although I couldn't tell if he was joking, or whether he was actually serious.\n\nHe asked me what I was doing, and I told him at that time I was working for Senator Paul Douglas from Illinois as an intern. It was the summer of 1962. And he (the president) said, \"If you can help us on the Hill, we'd be delighted.\" And I thought, \"He's asking me to help him? I'm just this lowly intern.\" But I was also kind of flattered that he said that to me.\n\nAt one point, I thought, I'd love to ask him the question that was raised by (author Leo) Tolstoy in War and Peace, which is whether one person can make any difference in history or whether history consumes everything, and people who are in power actually are instead driven by the dictates of history, and not able to have any impact themselves. But I could never summon up my courage to ask that question, and the moment passed.\n\nMy father was standing there, and I did not want to appear to be taking advantage of my father's presence and be some idiot son trying to horn in.\n\nThat was the last time I saw President Kennedy.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was a senior at Harvard and I was in Leverett House (a student residence) when somebody told me the news. And like many others, I thought, \"Oh, they're just joking. They can't be serious.\" When I realized they were serious, I called my home\u2014the rest of the family were living in Washington\u2014and said, \"I want to come home.\" My father wanted all of his family to be surrounding him when he was going through this ordeal. We obviously wanted to be there, too. Two sisters and a brother of mine were all there.\n\nI cannot remember if I flew that day or the next day. Everything was in an uproar. Nobody really knew what had happened and why. Of course, I remember the television flickering in the background. And then, of course, (Lee Harvey) Oswald was killed by Jack Ruby. Everything seemed haywire. The world seemed to be imploding. Everything that was certain was no longer certain, and in the midst of this, my father was directly involved, and as he portrays in his book A Thousand Days, in greeting the plane when it came back from Dallas. Later, Bobby (Kennedy, the attorney general) asked him to look at JFK's body to see whether the casket should be open or shut. My father saw Kennedy's disfigured face and said, \"No, it should be shut.\" He was not the only person asked to look at the body. It was eventually shut.\n\nMy father and I talked about JFK and his presidency a lot. I was an intern for the Democratic delegation from Massachusetts in 1960 in Los Angeles when JFK was nominated. I had been privy to a lot of conversations my father was having with key people. He tended to bring me in on a lot of this stuff. We (my father and I) had been talking about Kennedy for a number of years before the assassination. I adored Kennedy. He was such a charismatic figure that it was very difficult to go through those years and not be absolutely smitten by the guy.\n\nI think if Kennedy had lived, he would have fulfilled the agenda which he had campaigned on in 1960 and advanced as president\u2014including civil rights legislation, Medicare, the war on poverty, environmental protection, help for the arts, arms control treaties\u2014all of the things for which LBJ later gets credit for in history. And he would have not have prolonged and enlarged the U.S. involvement in the Vietnam War. In many ways, because he was only there for about one thousand days, he has remained more of a romantic figure than a substantive figure. He got a bum deal. A lot of the policies that Lyndon Johnson accomplished in his term actually began in the Kennedy years.\n\nOn Vietnam, which is the one issue where there's the ambiguity that hangs like a black cloud over Kennedy's presidency, it is my belief that he would not have gone down the path Johnson did, which was to make it an American war and pour in three hundred thousand or four hundred thousand troops. I think he (Kennedy) was desperately looking for an exit. And even though he did increase troop levels in a small way, I think he was buying time in order to get a negotiated peace. So I don't think Vietnam would have been the albatross for him that it became for Johnson.\n\nWe certainly remember Kennedy for the Peace Corps. We remember him for initiating the race to put a man on the moon, which happened as he predicted, by the end of that decade of the 1960s.\n\nThe Cuban Missile Crisis is another memorable moment in the Kennedy presidency because it was the closest the world has ever come to a nuclear showdown. JFK handled the showdown in a way that got us out of the crisis, and we won the confrontation with Khrushchev\u2014there was brilliance in the way he managed it. Everybody who looks at how each day went by during the thirteen days of that crisis remarks on how adeptly he was able to come to the right conclusion and produce a settlement that favored what the U.S. wanted. Observers looking back at the Cuban Missile Crisis are reminded of the brilliance of the Kennedy presidency.\n\nI am a specialist on the United Nations. JFK was very much a proponent of the United Nations. He was the only president in his inaugural address who ever mentioned the UN. No other president has ever done that\u2014before or since. I think he would have made the United Nations very much part of American security policy, which, from my point of view, is a very important thing.\n\nOne of the reasons people still have this memory of Kennedy, despite the shortness of his time in office, is the feeling that he was this charismatic, inspirational figure. And he still remains that today. When there are public measurements taken of presidencies in the twentieth century, he's always up near the top. The only person, I think, who obscures him today is Ronald Reagan, even though I think Reagan was a below average president\u2014except for his working out with (Soviet leader Mikhail) Gorbachev some sort of nuclear settlement. Reagan was able to glamorize the presidency the way Kennedy had. He gave it the same upbeat, exciting profile that Kennedy achieved. My own thinking is that the Reagan aura will fade over the years because he really didn't accomplish very much. Whereas, at least with Kennedy, you can point to specific things he did or that he initiated that soon came into fruition.\n\nKennedy is still an inspirational figure. Even with Vietnam, which, unfairly in my view, has become a blemish on his record. And his sexual escapades which have periodically become a matter of headlines. But all that is brushed aside when you look his overall presidency and\u2014from that point of view\u2014he certainly inspired me.\n  Jim Swindal\n\nPhysicist, son of James Swindal, pilot of Air Force One\n\n\"(Flying back from Dallas) was 'the most awful mission I've ever been on...'\"\n\nMY father was in the right place at the right time. Just before he was assigned to be the pilot of Air Force One, he was the commander of the Special Missions Group at National Airport. He flew many important government officials and Washington dignitaries around the country and around the world. He also had an outstanding career as a pilot in the Air Force, starting with World War II. He also had a perfect safety record. All the important dignitaries liked him.\n\nI remember my father saying he had been invited to have lunch with the president and Jackie in the cabin of Air Force One while they were on a trip. But he turned the president down. He's probably one of the few people to turn down the opportunity to have lunch with the president. He did it because he had been talking to a press person on the plane and he told the reporter, \"If you guys found out that something bad had happened while I wasn't in the cockpit, you'd have a real good time at my expense.\"\n\nMy father thought very highly of the president and the Kennedy family. Kennedy loved Air Force One, as did my father. Actually, my father went to Seattle to pick up the plane when the Air Force bought it from Boeing. My father respected JFK, and JFK respected my father and the whole crew of Air Force One.\n\nHe visited my father from time to time in the cockpit, and Jackie frequently would sit in the cockpit on the console between the pilot's and copilot's seats. She would talk to the crew, look out the window, and watch them fly the airplane.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was walking down the hall at my office at United Aircraft Corporation, which later became United Technologies\u2014I was an engineer there\u2014and it was announced on the public address system. At the time, we only heard that he had been shot. I did not hear that he had been killed until later in the afternoon. I was twenty-six and living in Westport, Connecticut.\n\nI knew my father was in Dallas. I frequently went home to my parents' house on weekends, and I talked to my father a good bit on the phone. He would tell me about trips he was taking with the president, unless of course they were secret. My father saluted the president's coffin as it was brought onto the plane at Love Field in Dallas. He was quoted in the New York Times as saying, \"I didn't belong to the Lyndon Johnson team. My president was in that box.\"\n\nWhile they were still in Dallas, nobody knew what was going on. As far as they knew, the president's murder could have been the beginning of something much more serious\u2014possibly an effort by the Soviets to disrupt the U.S. government. So when they took off, they few as high as they could go safely and as fast as they could go. He said he pushed the throttle to the max.\n\nThe next time I spoke with my father, he told me it was \"the most awful mission I've ever been on\" even compared to those missions in World War II in the China-Burma Theater.\n\nThree days later, my father flew Air Force One over the gravesite during the funeral. He flew very low and dipped the wings of the aircraft left and right in tribute. There were a lot of tears evident.\nSECTION FOUR:\n\nCelebrities\n  Vincent Bugliosi\n\nAttorney, author\n\n\"(T)here is little comparison between the nation's response to Kennedy's death and its response to the World Trade Center catastrophe on September 11, 2001... The World Trade Center victims were known only to their loved ones. But the dazzling first couple of JFK and Jackie, and their two children, Caroline and John-John, were perceived by many as the closest to royalty this nation has ever seen.\"\n\nON November 22, 1963, I was twenty-nine years old and in law school at UCLA. I was between classes and walking past the front desk of the law school office. One of the assistants said to me (and I'm paraphrasing), \"Mr. Bugliosi, the president has just been shot in Dallas, Texas.\"\n\nI happened to be president of my senior class at the time, and I took it upon myself to go to the two classes that were in session. I told the professors what had happened and asked if I could address the classes. I announced to both classes that President Kennedy had been shot in Dallas, and that I did not have any additional information at the moment. The professors immediately excused the classes as well as the rest of their classes for the day.\n\nAlthough there was the inevitable, immediate chatter around campus, one thing I remember is that there was a sense of numbness and there was mostly stunned silence. There was no loud chattering, as one might expect with a cataclysmic event.\n\nOver the weekend, the main recollection I have is that there was absolutely nothing on television except that which pertained to the assassination. I had never seen anything like this before\u2014or since. And there was no advertising.\n\nThe most indelible image from that weekend is TV showing throughout the night the silent, slow, endless progression of everyday Americans walking past the president's coffin in the Capitol rotunda. I've been told that there was some symphonic music playing, but I don't recall it. I don't recall any sound at all. The silent progression sticks in my mind.\n\nTelevision made the tragedy so much more real and palpable, much more than just reading about it. Or listening to the radio. Television kept the extremely penetrating shock of the tragedy alive longer. If the horror started to recede in one's mind, it was not allowed to do so. Television kept covering it. It kept the feeling of sorrow alive. It was the biggest thing television had ever covered. You felt the horror. You could see the tears in people's eyes. For the first time in the history of the medium, television was used to give America a new dimension to grieve.\n\nKennedy's popularity, next to that of Lincoln, remains above all other presidents from most polls I've seen. Also, whenever one speaks of a presidential candidate, in terms of hope or inspiration or idolization, JFK, invariably, is the ideal. He is the model used for comparison. People often say, \"He reminds one of JFK... \"\n\nExcerpt from Reclaiming History: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy, by Vincent Bugliosi, \u00a9 2007 (Used with author's permission):\n\n(T)here is little comparison between the nation's response to Kennedy's death and its response to the World Trade Center catastrophe on September 11, 2001, even though the response to the latter was enormous. Just two indications among many of the differences. On the day of Kennedy's assassination and for three consecutive days thereafter, all three national television networks suspended all their commercial shows and advertising. And while only a relatively small number of books have been written about 9-11, far more books continue to be written to this very day, over forty years later, about Kennedy's assassination. How could one death cause greater personal anguish to more people than three thousand deaths? The World Trade Center victims were known only to their loved ones, entirely unknown to the rest of the country. But the dazzling First Couple of JFK and Jackie, and their two children, Caroline and John-John, were perceived by many as the closest to royalty this nation has ever seen. Nearly all Americans felt they knew JFK intimately, his charm and wit regularly lighting up the television screen at home. This is why polls showed that millions of Americans took his assassination like a \"death in the family.\"\n\nPerhaps the most impressive testament of what Kennedy possessed was the way his death was greeted by the tens of millions of people behind the Iron Curtain during the very height of the cold war. The masses behind the curtain were only fed Soviet propaganda, the level of censorship being virtually complete, isolating people from the outside world. Yet, when Kennedy died, the evidence is overwhelming that millions of Soviet citizens and those in the Soviet bloc satellite countries in Eastern Europe took his death almost as hard as we did in America, these adversary countries being immediately swept up in national mourning and tears. Under the prevailing censorship, how much could the people of these nations have possibly been exposed to Kennedy, the tiniest snippet of his person or his words reaching them during his three years in power? In addition to the youthful vigor and the indefinable charisma that he projected, my sense is that these masses, who heard so few of his words and could understand none of them, picked up in the sound of his voice and the inherent decency and sincerity in his always pleasant face and smile, that he was different, and it was these additional critical components that enabled the essence of the man, from just a glance, to pierce the curtain of iron that had descended upon these countries and to touch the hearts of its citizens.\n\nSecond only to Lincoln and rivaled only by Franklin Roosevelt, Kennedy rose above the national constraints of politics. Even with his own patrician pedigree, he tried to do what was right for the average American.\n\nJohn Kennedy was the most charismatic, attractive, and inspirational president in our history. He was a genuine American war hero. He truly was the Camelot figure who rekindled the notion that public service was a noble calling.\n\nDuring his presidency, idealism was in the air, and the nation's capital had never seen such an invasion of young people who wanted to change the world for the better. Also, no one before or since JFK instilled in Americans the sense of hope and promise for a better America. People spoke of JFK's \"irresistible charm;\" it was well known that he was not vindictive toward his political opponents, and unlike his brother Bobby, he had few, if any, bitter enemies. Except for segregationists and the militant right, as Look magazine said, \"Even his political opponents liked and respected him.\" There can be no question that there was something very special about John F. Kennedy.\n  Rev. Billy Graham\n\nChristian evangelist\n\n\"During our conversations I became aware that he was concerned about the moral and spiritual condition of the nation. He was especially concerned about the scars which might have been left by the intense religious issue during the presidential campaign.\"\n\nEXCERPTS from \"Hour of Decision\" Sermon \"Our Fleeting Lives,\" broadcast on November 24, 1963, by Billy Graham \u00a9 1963, used by permission, all rights reserved:\n\nMany memories flooded in my mind and heart this week as I thought of President Kennedy. I first met him when he was a congressman. Then I got to know him better as a senator. Four days before he was inaugurated as president he invited me to Palm Beach, Florida, to spend the day with him. I had two meals with him, played fourteen holes of golf, and then he took me to a little party in the evening. That day he drove me around in his white Lincoln convertible.\n\nDuring our conversations I became aware that he was concerned about the moral and spiritual condition of the nation. He was especially concerned about the scars which might have been left by the intense religious issue during the presidential campaign. He asked me a number of questions about the Bible. One of his questions was, \"Where do you think history is going and what is the objective of history?\" I told him that the Bible teaches that history would someday come to a dramatic conclusion with the second coming of Jesus Christ and the setting up of God's kingdom on earth.\n\nHe replied, \"I'm interested in that.\"\n\n(On November 22) I thought of the president's elderly father and mother who had received the news from a workman who heard it on the radio. I thought of the shock and emotions that must have run through Senator Ted Kennedy's mind and heart as he heard the news while presiding over the Senate. Attorney General Robert Kennedy was having lunch in Virginia when the news came to him. The president's younger sister learned of the assassination as she watched a television program from Dallas.\n\nThe immediate sense of personal loss is much greater for the American people than it was at the death of McKinley, Garfield, and even Lincoln because by means of television the president was almost a daily visitor in our homes. A modern American president becomes a family friend and a familiar figure. Thus the sense of loss on the part of the peoples of the world is very deep.\n\nThis weekend the radio and television networks are playing religious music. The entire nation is thinking more about death and eternity than at any time since the war. If ever there was a time when Christians have an opportunity to witness to the saving grace and power of Christ, it is at this hour.\n\nLongfellow once said, \"It is not till time, with reckless hand, has torn out half the leaves from the book of human life to light the fires of passion... that man begins to see that the leaves which remain are few in number.\"\n\nPresident Kennedy never dreamed last Friday morning when he had his breakfast that by two o'clock he would be in eternity. We never know when our moment is coming. Certainly in this tragedy of the last few hours we should learn a lesson of the brevity of time and our need for preparation to meet God at any moment.\n  Lee Iacocca\n\nAmerican industrialist\n\nI met John Kennedy when he was a senator. Ford Motor Company had an apartment in Washington, and Kennedy had an apartment nearby. I frequently went to Washington for meetings and sometimes saw Senator Kennedy in the morning wearing his Chesterfield coat. We exchanged pleasantries, but nothing more than that.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was crossing the street outside the world headquarters for Ford in Dearborn, Michigan, and someone came running up to the corner screaming the news that President Kennedy had been shot. I was stunned. That weekend, I read, watched, and listened to everything that was available. The poignant family images made the biggest impression on the enormous impact of the loss of President Kennedy.\n\nJohn Kennedy was a fascinating man who was great with the press. But he didn't live or was in office long enough to judge him fairly on any accomplishments. He personified charisma and spirit. Kennedy had a twinkle in his eye that left a lasting impression. He knew where he was headed.\n  Jimmy Piersall\n\nMajor League Baseball player, author\n\n\"I was playing golf in Cape Cod. Just ahead of us on the course was Rose Kennedy playing alone... a Secret Service agent drove by us in a golf cart and said, 'The president's been shot and he's probably going to die.'\"\n\nEVELYN Lincoln, President Kennedy's secretary, was a big fan of mine and of the Red Sox, so she invited me to the White House in 1961. A few minutes after I arrived at her desk outside the Oval Office, I saw the president approaching, and it was evident he was quite upset. Somebody hadn't done something he had wanted. He said a hello and gave me a PT 109 bracelet and a pen and pencil set.\n\nI have a photo of him and me taken on opening day one year in Washington. He was standing behind the dugout, and these Secret Service agents came over and asked whether I wanted to have my picture taken with him. I said I'd be happy to.\n\nMy impression was that he seemed to enjoy people he wanted to know. And that was me at the time. He always had a big smile. I think being a Catholic with that smile helped get him into the White House. The next time I saw him, we were in Cape Cod. He loved to drive around in a golf cart and take his children and nieces and nephews into town to get ice cream.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was playing golf with three doctors in Cape Cod. Just ahead of us on the course was Rose Kennedy playing alone. The doctors and I were walking up a fairway and a Secret Service agent drove by us in a golf cart and said, \"The president's been shot and he's probably going to die.\" I was really, really shocked. Of course, we stopped playing. I had tears in my eyes. I felt we had lost a great man who had done a great job.\n\nI went to Washington for the funeral. I knew the man and he treated me very nicely. The fact he got shot broke my heart. I watched as the funeral procession went by the White House. He was a big baseball fan. And being from Boston, he was always there\u2014whether in Boston or Washington, or other cities, on opening day. And after a while, he used to bring his kids to the game.\n\nWhat's his legacy? Because he was Catholic, many people did not respect him. But I did. He had a happy way about him. Most presidents are ornery, but he wasn't; he got along with pretty much everybody.\n  Cliff Robertson\n\nActor\n\n\"I arrived at the White House two hours early.... All of a sudden the door opened behind me, and I heard the voice, 'Hi, Cliff.'\"\n\nTHERE had been a lot of talk at that time. (Studios) were playing with the idea of a movie about Kennedy's experiences in the South Pacific in World War II, the subsequent crash (with the Japanese destroyer) and the heroic efforts to save some of his men. There was a lot of talk in Hollywood about who was going to play the part. The two who were suggested among others were Peter Fonda and Edd \"Kookie\" Byrnes, the fellow who had the hair. But I don't think he had as much as Kennedy.\n\nI had no concept in my wildest imagination that I would be considered. You don't identify yourself with presidents. And I didn't know him. I had never met him, though I had met Patricia, his sister, and I knew some of the Kennedys socially.\n\nNo one was more surprised than I, and when I was told I would be receiving a proposed script for PT 109, I was filming another picture at Paramount. They brought me this very impressive folder with all this information about Kennedy and PT boats. I was told to go home and learn some of the scenes. And I said, \"I'm working on this picture.\"\n\nAnd they said, \"This is all right. It's been arranged.\"\n\nI was surprised. But in this business, there are always conjectures. Rumors are always rife. So I went to Warner Brothers and shot several scenes and they treated me very nicely. Then I went back to work on the picture I had been doing previously.\n\nI got a phone call a few days later from a friend of mine in New York, and she said, \"Guess what?\"\n\nShe said, \"Your name has been printed in the columns and also in the New York Times, and they say you're going to play it.\" So she was calling me to congratulate me.\n\n(President Kennedy) had seen the different scenes that were shot for tests. (Press Secretary Pierre) Salinger told me that they were in the screening room. He (JFK) was a very busy man who wouldn't take a long time. He'd look at an actor's scenes and he'd comment one way or the other.\n\nSalinger said, \"As soon as you came on and you did your scene, he (JFK) said, 'That's it.'\" So, he was in a hurry. And I think the president said to himself, \"I'm so bored with these actors,\" and \"I'm going to pick the next one, even if it's a girl.\"\n\nSo there were pictures of me and the president in the papers. I finished the picture at Paramount, and then I started reading up as much as I could about John Kennedy. I made a habit of absorbing even more about Kennedy, anything I could get, whether from people who knew him or information I had read. I had an impression of him, and needless to say, I tried to enhance that by seeing as much and reading as much as I could about him.\n\nLike so many Americans, I was a big fan of his, and I felt that maybe this was kind of a dream I'm having. But I thought, \"I'll ride it out.\" I was delighted. I did not feel I was the best person for the part, but I certainly was not going to turn it down. I had such high regard for the president.\n\nI began to study more closely. He'd be on TV, and I would read anything I could about him, as I would with any role, particularly a biographical role. I was told that he didn't want me to try to do the accent. He indicated that any nightclub comic could do \"Ask not\" (in Bostonian accent). That would have been a distraction.\n\nSo, I received more information from Washington. And then I was told we were going to shoot it in Florida. And we shot some at Warner Brothers. They actually had a PT boat on the stage, in the water. So we shot all that stuff, when we were cut in half by the (Japanese) destroyer. We had the fire on the water. And I swam through that; it wasn't a big deal. You have all kinds of protection. But I did a little bit of my own stunts.\n\nAfter we finished, I got a call from the White House asking me would I like to come back and meet the president. And I said, \"You bet.\"\n\nSo I went to Washington and I arrived at the White House two hours early. I wasn't about to be late. (He) had an innate ability to make you feel very comfortable, and I did immediately, because of his graciousness and ease, regardless of having waited for two hours and nervously checking my watch every five minutes.\n\nAll of a sudden the door opened behind me, and I heard the voice, \"Hi, Cliff.\"\n\nIt was just as casual as that. He knew people that I knew, so it wasn't like we were complete strangers, and he said very nice things. I was very impressed. He could not have been more generous. And more helpful. We exchanged letters after that, for the short time left in his life. He also gave me a present for my daughter, Stephanie, because we talked a lot about our two daughters who were the same age.\n\nI admired the qualities of his character. Even though he was brought up, some might say, with a silver spoon, he had parents who were strict as far as scholarship, ambition, energy, and working for the country went. He was a public servant.\n\nI know that, in his younger days, he flirted with the idea of going into journalism, and he was a damn good writer. Those, too, had been my interests. I once worked for about twenty minutes for a daily paper, and I had visions of becoming a journalist, sort of jaded and cynical.\n\nPT 109 was a seminal film for me, because of the attention it received, as well as the respect that President Kennedy had garnered from the American public.\n\nWe have lived in such a turbulent time. I think about how some people, who were very prominent, faded away so quickly in history. With all the troubles we've had since Kennedy was killed, I think people respect him all the more. So often, people say, \"Well, Kennedy would not have done that,\" or \"That doesn't sound like Kennedy.\" He was truly presidential.\n  Alex Trebek\n\nTelevision personality\n\n\"However, even though I was the most junior announcer on staff, I saw this for the huge news story that it was...\"\n\nLIKE most foreigners, I knew him primarily from news stories and from his televised press conferences, and like most foreigners, I was captivated by his intelligence and his great sense of humor, especially when he was dealing with the reporters. He and Jacqueline were so very different from their predecessors in the White House. They were much younger and so brought an element of youth and vigor to the capital as well as a certain style and elegance that were unprecedented.\n\nIn those days, I was working as a staff announcer for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation at its English language headquarters in Toronto and hosting my first television show, Music Hop, a sort of Canadian version of American Bandstand.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was on booth duty doing news, weather, sports, and station breaks for the national radio network when the news came in from Dallas. I was the one who read the UPI wire that confirmed the death of the president.\n\nAt that time, the CBC had a standing protocol that with the death of her majesty the queen, the prime minister, or another major world figure, our regular programming would cease, and we would start playing classical music that was to be interrupted by announcements every fifteen minutes or so. That's what we did.\n\nHowever, even though I was the most junior announcer on staff, I saw this for the huge news story that it was, and one that was ongoing, so I went to see the news director on duty and made the case that the tragedy of the American president's assassination was far too important to cease all broadcasting, and that the CBC had a responsibility to our listeners to keep them informed as to what was happening. Fortunately he agreed, and for the rest of the day and into the weekend, we aired news feeds from all the American radio and TV networks.\n\nLetitia Baldrige, Jacqueline Kennedy's Social Secretary, gives remarks at an event at the White House in 1963, just a few months before President Kennedy's assassination. Joining the festivities are Mrs. Kennedy and her two children, Caroline and John. President Kennedy, Baldrige said, did not \"dwell on anything that was sad or gloomy. He was funny about anything that he could be funny about, and he taught us all how to do that.\" (Photo: \u00a9 Robert Knudsen, White House Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library)\n\nDr. William F. Bernhard, left with his back to the camera, performs surgery in the hyperbaric chamber of the Industrial Medicine Department of the School of Public Health at Harvard. In 1963, Bernhard labored for thirty hours in the chamber to try to save the life of the Kennedys' second son Patrick. (Photo courtesy Dr. Bernhard)\n\nPresident Kennedy and Senator Frank Carlson (Republican of Kansas) look on as the Rev. Billy Graham delivers remarks at the National Prayer Breakfast in February, 1963. It would be the last time Rev. Graham saw John Kennedy. (Photo courtesy the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association)\n\nCivil rights activists Julian Bond, right with light-colored shirt, and Andrew Young, center in dark suit, holding hands with others in unity during the 1963 March on Washington. Bond remarks that \"Kennedy watched the pictures of young people being fire-hosed in the streets of Birmingham, and he told onlookers, 'This makes me sick'\u2014he was moved by it, and it shifted him.\" (Photo: \u00a9 Francis Miller\/Time Life Pictures\/Getty Images)\n\nBenjamin C. Bradlee, then a correspondent with Newsweek and later editor of the Washington Post, appears engrossed in conversation with John Kennedy, Jr. at the Kennedy estate near Middleburg, Virginia. The photo was taken less than two weeks before Bradlee's close friend, President John Kennedy, was assassinated. (Photo: \u00a9 Cecil W. Stoughton, White House Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library)\n\nFuture NBC Anchor Tom Brokaw sharpens his broadcasting skills as a student on KUSD radio at South Dakota University in 1960. He later covered President Kennedy's 1962 visit to Offutt Air Force Base near Omaha, Nebraska. Regarding the news coverage of JFK's assassination and funeral, he remarked: \"The television set was, if you will, the centrifuge for the country. Everybody drew from it in some fashion.\" (Photo: \u00a9 South Dakota Public Radio Collection, University of South Dakota Archives and Special Collections)\n\nCharles U. Daly, a congressional liaison in Kennedy's White House, smiles alongside his boss. \"He really did make a difference in the world. I think that is where legacy and inspiration meld.\" (Photo courtesy Mr. Daly)\n\nRobert Dellwo, attorney and Spokane County Democratic Party chair, right, joins then-Senator John Kennedy at a downtown rally during the 1960 presidential campaign. \"Bobby and Ted were 'doers,' and were expected to take care of their older, prominent brother.... 'the boys,' as we called them, were always busy attending to details.\" (Photo: \u00a9 Argenta Images)\n\nBarry Goldwater Jr. photographs then-Senator John Kennedy at the U.S. Capitol. In 1963, Goldwater said his father, Senator Barry Goldwater, and Kennedy talked about running against each other (in 1964) and decided they would travel around the country together, stop at different cities, and debate each other. \"It would have been very entertaining and would have set a high standard for future campaigns.\" (Photo courtesy Mr. Goldwater)\n\nThen-Senator John Kennedy greets waitress Phyllis Elkins while meeting with Congressman Ken Hechler, right, and David Fox of the local Democratic Party during the 1960 primary in West Virginia. The brief encounter at Jim's Steak and Spaghetti House in Huntington is memorialized with a photo in the restaurant. (Photo courtesy Edward H. Dawson Jr., Editor and Publisher, The Herald-Dispatch, Huntington, West Virginia)\n\nPresident-elect John Kennedy comments to United Press International White House correspondent Helen Thomas after visiting his wife and newborn son John Kennedy, Jr. at Georgetown Hospital in Washington, D.C. In her foreword, Thomas states that Kennedy was \"the most inspired and inspiring of any president I covered.\" (Photo: \u00a9Bettmann\/Corbis Images)\n\nSenator John Kennedy, campaigning for the presidency in Portland, Oregon in May, 1960, addresses the opening ceremonies of the Riverside Little League. Mike Gefroh, who caught Kennedy's ceremonial first pitch, remarked that Kennedy made him more aware of politics and that, later that year as he watched on television the Democratic Convention in Los Angeles, \"the suspense of the balloting was a terrific initiation into the political process.\" (Photo: \u00a9 Argenta Images)\n\nA drawing for and a letter to eleven-year-old Craig McNamara, son of Defense Secretary Robert McNamara, from John F. Kennedy Jr., age three, less than a month after President Kennedy's assassination. The letter, presumably dictated by the young boy, was written by his mother Jacqueline Kennedy. Mr. McNamara remarks: \"I'm not certain that had the president lived, his vision of Camelot, the New Frontier, and the goals of his Cabinet members would have been fulfilled. He was taken away from us in such a violent and critical fashion.\" (Images courtesy Mr. McNamara)\n\nJohn Kennedy, following his nomination for the presidency by the Democratic Party in 1960, greets his nephew Christopher Kennedy Lawford and his sister Sydney in Los Angeles. \"(M)y uncle sat down and said he had just been nominated to be president of the United States, that it was going to be a very hard job, and that he wanted my help.\" (Photo: \u00a9 Argenta Images)\n\nJohn Lewis, then-chairman of the Student Non-violent Coordinating Committee, addresses thousands of civil rights supporters at the March on Washington, August 28, 1963. He and five other civil rights leaders, including the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., were congratulated later that day by President Kennedy in the Oval Office. (Photo: \u00a9 Bettmann\/Corbis)\n\nHearst reporter Marianne Means greets President Kennedy at a diplomatic dinner in Washington in 1962. Means first met then-Senator John Kennedy when she was a college student at the University of Nebraska and mentioned she wanted to be a journalist. \"He said, 'Well, when you come to Washington, look me up.' Being na\u00efve, I took him at his word.\" (Photo: \u00a9 Bettmann\/Corbis)\n\nFifteen-year-old Michael Medved, the future author, film critic, commentator, and syndicated radio show host, beams for the camera after the self-proclaimed \"political geek\" won an essay contest on American history. \"I recently found my notebook from that period. It has a very carefully hand-lettered 'Kennedy for President' message on it. Of course, I spelled his name wrong\u2014'Kenedy.'\"(Photo: \u00a9 Los Angeles Public Library Photo Collection)\n\nThen-Minnesota Attorney General Walter Mondale meets with John Kennedy at the White House in 1963. Reflecting on JFK's assassination, Mondale remarks, \"There still is a horrible sense of loss nearly fifty years later. We were robbed.\"(Photo: \u00a9 Minnesota Historical Society)\n\nCasey Murrow, left, observes his father, broadcast journalist Edward R. Murrow, and his mother Janet Murrow, joking with President Kennedy at the White House in March of 1961, on the day his father was sworn in as the director of the United States Information Agency. (Photo: \u00a9 Cecil W. Stoughton, White House Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library)\n\nAl Neuharth, shown here in 1950 as the editor of the Volante, the student newspaper at the University of South Dakota in Vermillion, later founded USA Today, the Freedom Forum, and the Newseum, in Washington, D.C. He last saw John Kennedy at a speech in Miami, just a few days before the president's assassination. (Photo: \u00a9 South Dakota Public Radio Collection, University of South Dakota Archives and Special Collections)\n\nFather Oscar Huber walked three blocks from his parish to wave to President and Mrs. Kennedy as they drove through Dallas. Less than ninety minutes later, he administered the Last Rites of the Catholic Church to John Kennedy at Parkland Memorial Hospital. \"During this most trying ordeal, the perfect composure maintained by Mrs. Kennedy was beyond comprehension. I will never forget the blank stare in her eyes and the signs of agony on her face.\" (Photo: \u00a9 DeAndreis-Rosati Memorial Archives, DePaul University Archives, Chicago, Illinois, DePaul University)\n\nRobert F. Kennedy and his wife Ethel wave to well-wishers during the inaugural parade in Washington on January 20, 1961. Following the assassination of President Kennedy less than three years later, he wrote in a eulogy, \"President Kennedy was fond of quoting Dante that 'the hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.'\" (Photo courtesy of Ira Seiler, M.D.)\n\nFuture environmental lawyer and activist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. presents his uncle with a salamander in the Oval Office in 1961. He later writes, \"(T)here had been a sense of foreboding even within our family as he and Aunt Jackie prepared for the trip (to Dallas).\" (Photo: \u00a9 Abbie Rowe, White House Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library)\n\nActor Cliff Robertson meets with John Kennedy in the Oval Office shortly after completing the film PT 109 about Kennedy's naval career. The movie, Robertson said, \"was a seminal film for me, because of the attention it received, as well as the respect that President Kennedy had garnered from the American public.\" (Photo: \u00a9 Cecil W. Stoughton, White House Collection; courtesy Mr. Robertson's daughter, Stephanie Saunders)\n\nAt a meeting during the Cuban Missile Crisis in October 1962, Secretary of State Dean Rusk looks on as President Kennedy examines a document in the White House Cabinet Room. Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara is seated to the right; Press Secretary Pierre Salinger stands at the rear. (Photo: \u00a9 Cecil W. Stoughton, White House Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library)\n\nJohn Seigenthaler Sr. with Robert Kennedy. Seigenthaler first met John Kennedy when he covered the Senate for the Tennessean and later worked in the Department of Justice under Robert Kennedy. He was present when President-elect Kennedy convinced his younger brother to serve as attorney general, remarking, \"So that's it, General. Let's grab our balls and go.\" (Photo courtesy Mr. Seigenthaler)\n\nIra Seiler, M.D., examines an infant as part of his pediatric practice. In 1960, as a second-year resident at Georgetown Hospital in Washington, D.C., Dr. Seiler saved the life of John Kennedy Jr. who was born not breathing. He later received a personal note of thanks from then-President-elect Kennedy, and three years later, upon learning of JFK's assassination, wrote a letter of condolence to Jacqueline Kennedy. (Photo courtesy Dr. Seiler)\n\nCBS News Producer Sanford (\"Sandy\") Socolow, left, works alongside Anchor Walter Cronkite. Socolow ended his planned vacation abruptly on November 22, 1963, to work four days with little sleep \"looking for people to interview and feeding Cronkite and then later Charles Collingwood who spelled him.\" (Photo courtesy Mr. Socolow)\n\nAl Spivak, reporter for United Press International, far left, joins President Kennedy and other journalists saying farewell to a visitor leaving by helicopter from the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts. \"JFK felt that it was his job to protect the country and the world against Khrushchev. That was a great achievement. It kept the country out of a Third World War.\" (Photo courtesy Mr. Spivak)\n\nPresident Kennedy greets Air Force One Pilot Colonel James B. Swindal and his wife, Emily, at a reception on the South Lawn of the White House. Swindal's son, James L. Swindal, said his father, who flew missions in the China-Burma-India Theater during World War II, referred to the flight back to Washington from Dallas on November 22, 1963 as \"the most awful mission I've ever been on.\" (Photo courtesy Mr. Swindal)\n\nNBC White House Correspondent Sander Vanocur, center, and other journalists corner John Kennedy at the 1960 Democratic National Convention the day after JFK secured the presidential nomination. The senator had just left a meeting with Senator Lyndon B. Johnson to discuss the vice presidential position on the ticket. (Photo: \u00a9 Associated Press)\n\nMortimer Caplin, Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service, second from right, comments to Kennedy aide, Kennedy O'Donnell, far right, after the president met with staff at the IRS offices. Kennedy, seen joking with Treasury C. Douglas Dillon, was the first and remains the only president to visit the IRS offices in Washington, D.C. (Photo: \u00a9 Abbie Rowe, White House Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library)\n\nAssistant Attorney General Nicholas deB. Katzenbach, left, confers with Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy and Herbert J. Miller, another Department of Justice official. The artwork was a creation of Kennedy's son David. Katzenbach said he believed the issue of civil rights was \"the most difficult problem we faced during the Kennedy presidency.\" (Photo: \u00a9Bettmann\/Corbis)\n\nBob Schieffer, who looks more like a detective than a reporter with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, wore his \"Dick Tracy hat\" and trench coat while escorting Lee Harvey Oswald's mother Marguerite into the Dallas Police Department on the afternoon of November 22, 1963. After a few hours, an FBI agent called his bluff, moments before he was to question the accused assassin. \"It would be the biggest story I almost got but didn't,\" he says. (Photo courtesy Mr. Schieffer)\n\nHarris Wofford, associate director of the Peace Corps, chats with President Kennedy during an event with Peace Corps volunteers on the South Lawn of the White House in August of 1962. Wofford previously served as JFK's special assistant on civil rights and later represented Pennsylvania in the U.S. Senate. (Photo: \u00a9 Rowland Scherman, Peace Corps\/John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum)\n\nFort Worth congressman Jim Wright, far left, the future Speaker of the House of Representatives, addresses a crowd outside the Texas Hotel, just prior to President Kennedy's remarks on the morning of November 22, 1963. Vice President Lyndon Johnson, who would take the presidential oath of office just a few hours later, and Texas Governor John Connally (waving) are to the left of Kennedy. (Photo : \u00a9 Cecil W. Stoughton, White House Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library)\nSECTION FIVE:\n\nFamily and Friends\n  Dr. Bob Arnot\n\nPhysician, journalist, author\n\n\"For all of us, it was the end of hope. It's one of the few moments that I remember\u2014a particular time, a particular day.\"\n\nHE was the only hero I ever had.\n\nI first saw him while he was giving a speech at Boston College. He was running for president. I was twelve years old. I was mesmerized. I had never met anybody so electric, so charismatic. It was the most memorable event of my whole youth. I had that famous picture of JFK in his pinstriped suit right up above my bed, a three-by two-foot poster.\n\nWe lived, dreamed, and breathed John F. Kennedy. We knew members of the administration. I've been down to the Kennedy compound, playing tennis with Joe Kennedy (eldest son of Robert Kennedy). I was there the day Arnold Schwarzenegger first arrived and was down there for his wedding to Maria Shriver. It was spectacular.\n\nMy father had been a lifelong Republican. But he listened to one of the Kennedy-Nixon debates in 1960. He took his Nixon poster down and ripped it up and said, \"I've had it. I'm voting for JFK.\" I think it was the only time he voted for a Democrat. We lived in the most Republican town in the world, Wellesley Hills, Massachusetts.\n\nWhen he was president, there were a couple of occasions when I might have seen him from a distance. There was a motorcade in Boston where I saw him. Our best friends growing up were a family called Fulham. The father, Jack Fulham, was chairman of Kennedy's campaign organization in Massachusetts. One time, he was invited to a White House dinner and sat with Marjorie Merriweather Post. He was dying to turn the china over to see where it was made, but of course, he didn't want to sitting next to the etiquette lady. But then she turns the plate over to look!\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was in Mr. Leyden's chemistry class in the tenth grade. There was a TV set in the room and it was announced the president had been shot. And we all went home, and I learned later he died. I never cried so hard in my life. Not when my dog died. We just sat by the television for days afterward. For all of us, it was the end of hope. It's one of the few moments that I remember\u2014a particular time, a particular day.\n\nThe most devastating image was when Air Force One came in at Andrews and the ambulance came by. We finally knew it was true.\n\nMy mother always told me, from the first minute I could understand language, \"To whom much is given, much is expected.\" She said that all the time to all of us. It was an interesting message with no way to execute it. Then JFK came along with the Peace Corps.\n\nJFK was pure inspiration. It wasn't necessarily inspiration just to join the Peace Corps or to do anything in particular. We all loved the Kennedy lifestyle. We spent summers down at Martha's Vineyard and Cape Cod. It was the same circle, all the same people, and so it could not be any closer to home.\n\nAnd then to have a Texan come in, especially LBJ, after all that glamour. It was devastating. Not that I have anything against Texans.\n\nKennedy's legacy is inspiration and youth. Rather than anything specific, it was pure, intoxicating exhilaration and inspiration.\n  Charles Bartlett\n\nJournalist, introduced John Kennedy to Jacqueline Bouvier\n\n\"I talked to him the night before he left for Texas. Something nudged me to call him to say goodbye. I didn't normally do that.\"\n\nI met him in 1946 in Palm Beach, Florida. It was just before he announced his plans to run for Congress. Jack Kennedy and I got along immediately because he had a very, very good sense of humor which came through quickly. We nursed a mutual interest in politics and we knew many of the same people. There was a lot of common ground.\n\nHe was very aware that he was being pulled into politics because his brother (Joseph Kennedy, Jr.) had been killed. Someone in the family had to take on public life. It was up to him. Jack was ready to leave journalism. He felt that as a journalist one could not do much to help the country. He had been writing during the war for Hearst, but he was ready to give up writing because he believed he could do more as an elected official. He was ready to go into politics.\n\nI watched JFK's adjustment to the Washington scene. He was quickly immersed in the House because he was an instinctive politician with a good feel for the game. He had a quick mind, and his thinking went to the heart of a problem, avoiding the frills in a situation. He grabbed hard onto the issues he cared about and quickly matured as a legislator.\n\nHe told me he was going to run for president about four years before 1960. I was surprised, and I said, \"Jack, you've never been around except to Palm Beach and Hyannis Port. You don't really know this country at all. Why not wait eight years?\"\n\nAnd he said, \"We'll see. I'm going to get around.\"\n\nAnd he did so intently that I felt by the time he was nominated that he was thoroughly immersed in the nation's political geography and its disparities.\n\nI recall that in 1952 he was invited to address the Chattanooga Chamber of Commerce. This was his first exposure to a Southern audience. He did well, riding on the wave of his considerable charm.\n\nWhen Jack came back to Washington from Boston in 1953 (after being elected to the Senate), it was clear he wanted to find a wife. He knew it could be awkward to campaign as a bachelor even though he was known by friends to have a serious interest in women. So he was looking, really looking. Jackie Bouvier was a great friend of (my wife) Martha's and mine. We immediately thought of her. She was very good looking, very bright, and rather elegant. We thought she might be the one and we were right.\n\nThey met at a very small dinner in our house in Georgetown. The spark was immediately struck, and it kept the romance alive through months in which JFK was away tending to his base in Massachusetts.\n\nCredit for the next phase really belongs to Martha, because Jackie was already engaged to a nice fellow from Manhattan. This was not, it appeared, a hot romance, so Martha urged Jackie to invite JFK to escort her to the Dancing Class, a Washington social ritual. The evening clearly went well and this was the beginning of a courtship that went on to the alter. That was in December (of 1952) and they were married in September.\n\nI talked to him the night before he left for Texas. Something nudged me to call him to say goodbye. I didn't normally do that. I called about nine o'clock at night and found him in a very, very good mood. He gave no hint of foreboding. He had often talked to me about how easy it would be to kill a president. He believed an assassin would have no problem if he (the assassin) really wanted to do it. But this fatalistic sense was not on his mind the night before he left for Texas.\n\nWe talked of the political scene. His old friend Abe Ribicoff in the Senate had made a rather sharp criticism of him in a speech on the Senate floor. It was reported in the press and I saw it.\n\nAnd I asked Jack in our last talk, \"Why is Abe knocking you?\"\n\n\"That's easy,\" he laughed. \"Abe wants to be the first Jewish president and that's a long alley with no cans to kick.\"\n\n(On November 22, 1963) I was in my office banging out a story on a typewriter. The news came over the wire service. It was a huge shock. My first thought was to go see Bobby. But then I thought he would have all kinds of people swarming around him. So I just sat there and thought about all that Jack would have liked to have done and about Jackie.\n\nI didn't cover the funeral. In fact, I did not cover anything involving Kennedy. That was a problem for a newspaper man\u2014a very personal friend was the president of the United States. I made a decision: Nothing mattered except his success in the White House. I don't think I wrote about anything that was not already made public. I had no desire to exploit the friendship.\n\nThat night, we all went out to Bethesda Naval Hospital while doctors did the post-mortem. There were many friends and family there, and all seemed weighted with a glum sense of shock. JFK's death was a huge loss for me and for his friends. In all my conversations with JFK, he had never dwelled on negative gossip regarding individuals. He seemed to me in his private moments to nurse no animosities. In dealing with almost everyone, JFK was fun. He stood for politics at its best.\n\nKennedy was a model for politicians. In terms of issues, I don't think he really had the time to do a lot of things he wanted.\n\nIn the days before he was killed, he was in very good spirits. But in our conversations, there was one thing really on his mind\u2014the fact that he had been betrayed by Israel on nuclear weapons. He had just learned that one of the people who worked in the development of the Israeli bomb came to the CIA and told them. And the CIA told the president. The issue never blew up and he never talked about it publicly. But Kennedy was absolutely furious. He was raging mad. He felt it was a personal betrayal.\n\nHe said, \"I've done everything I can to help these people, and this government gave me no hint about what they were up to. Not one hint. And I want to tell you one thing. As long as I am president, they will never build another bomb, because I'm going to have inspectors in their laboratories all the time to insure they're not producing another bomb. There will be no second Israeli bomb.\" He was really firm, really angry. It was the first time I ever saw him this angry.\n\nOur conversations centered on this development for much of the last two or three weeks of his life. For him, it was a big issue. But it was the kind of issue a politician facing an election would not take to the public.\n\nHe talked about it (death) several times with me. I suppose any president would because assassination is an obvious hazard. But we had a talk about it in September before he was shot, I remember, up on the boat off Hyannis Port. It was just interesting that we would discuss it at some length. I mean, you know, subjects like what Lyndon would be like as president. He, by the way, told me that he liked LBJ very much.\n\nHe had that kind of mind that he was always talking about all the eventualities. I mean, on that same afternoon he talked about what he was going to do when he got out of the presidency. He said he thought he'd like to be ambassador to Italy if a friendly regime was in power. He thought that would be a good place because Jackie would like it, because he would be out of the country, and therefore, the man who took the presidency wouldn't be in his way.\n\nI do remember one time in Middleburg he was driving along a back country road, and a car sped by the Secret Service car and by us. And he was for a moment shaken and he said, \"The Secret Service should have blocked that car.\" But to cover his concern, he joked, \"Charley, that man could have shot you.\"\n  Benjamin C. Bradlee\n\nJournalist\n\n\"We all rose, stricken and uncomfortable, as (Jacqueline Kennedy) came slowly toward us. When she got to Tony and me her eyes brightened a little, she raised her arms and then lurched into my arms, and sobbed.Then she turned to me and said, 'Oh Benny, do you want to hear what happened?' And then quickly added, 'But not as a reporter for Newsweek, okay?'\"\n\nI have to confess, I'm not a great historian. And John Kennedy and I did not discuss substantive issues of foreign policy.\n\nI knew John Kennedy accidentally and, with a few exceptions when it was just the two of us playing golf, we got together as a foursome socially\u2014he and his wife and me and my wife. I rarely saw him alone.\n\nExcerpt from Conversations with Kennedy by Benjamin C. Bradlee, copyright \u00a9 1975 (Used with author's permission):\n\nAs best I can now remember, that first moment came on the afternoon of a sparking late summer day in 1958. My wife and I bumped into the Kennedys during an afternoon walk in Georgetown. Already casual acquaintances, they now were new neighbors. We talked then for an hour or so in their garden, a few doors from our house, and we drew each other as dinner partners later that night. The subject of those conversations\u2014like so many that followed\u2014was the private lives and public postures of politicians, reporters, and friends.\n\nOur friendship just happened. It was never calculated. I didn't follow any script. We had a great time together. If I had any contribution to his life, it was that we did not have to worry about newspapers or issues. It was a friendship.\n\nExcerpt from Conversations with Kennedy by Benjamin C. Bradlee, copyright \u00a9 1975 (Used with author's permission):\n\nThe sledgehammer news that President Kennedy had been shot came to me while I was browsing through Brentano's book store on my lunch hour. First it was the barely distinguishable whispers of incredulous pedestrians, then all too finally it was the AP ticker in the Newsweek bureau on the twelfth floor of the National Press Building around the corner. It's not enough to say that you can't believe these terrible things as they happen.\n\nLate in the afternoon, Nancy Tuckerman, who was Jackie's social secretary, called to ask Tony and me to come to the White House.... About 9:00 Nancy Tuckerman told us that Jackie\u2014and everyone else connected with the slain president\u2014were going directly from Andrews Air Force Base, where Air Force One with the new president aboard would land, to Bethesda Naval Hospital. A final autopsy on the president's body would be performed there, and Jackie was apparently determined to stay as close as she could for as long as she could...\n\nThe next seven hours have stayed blurred in my mind for all these years, except for the moments right after Jackie entered the hospital suite on the arms of the Irish Mafia in the form of Larry O'Brien and Kenny O'Donnell, men she had never really understood or appreciated, but to whom she turned and clung now, strong men from the Irish political side of the dichotomous Kennedy, whom Jackie had never met on equal terms, but who now seemed to comfort her more than any of the rest of us.\n\nHer entrance, announced to us by the flashes of photographers' bulbs many stories below us, into that dreary hospital green room is scarred on my soul for the rest of my life. Her pink wool suit was copiously spattered with the blood of her dead husband, when she had cradled his shattered head in her lap. She looked so lovely, I remember thinking incongruously. But a closer look showed her to be dazed, moving ever so slowly, with eyes apparently not taking all of us in.\n\nWe all rose, stricken and uncomfortable, as she came slowly toward us. When she got to Tony and me her eyes brightened a little, she raised her arms and then lurched into my arms, and sobbed. After a minute or so she pulled back and greeted Tony in the same way. Then she turned to me and said, \"Oh Benny, do you want to hear what happened?\" And then quickly added, \"But not as a reporter for Newsweek, okay?\"\n\nI felt badly that she obviously felt she had to be that careful in that awful moment about the old problem and was about to proclaim my innocence as usual, when she started telling us about the actual shooting. I can remember now only the strangely graceful arc she described with her right hand as she told us that part of the president's head had been blown away by one bullet. She moved in a trance to talk to each of us there and to new friends as they arrived, ignoring the advice of friends and doctors to get some sleep and to change out of her bloody clothes. Those were some kind of dreadful badge of the disaster she had been through, and no one could persuade her to remove them.\n\nI was asked to be an usher, and as a result, I walked from the White House to St. Matthew's Cathedral as part of the procession. I remember that walk very, very well.\n\nExcerpt from A Good Life: Newspapering and Other Adventures, by Benjamin C. Bradlee, Copyright \u00a9 1995 (Used with author's permission):\n\nIn the weeks after Kennedy was assassinated, Tony and I spent a couple of emotional weekends at Atoka, the Kennedys' country house in Middleburg, Virginia, with Jackie, trying with no success to talk about something else, or someone else. Too soon and too emotional for healing, we proved only that the three of us had very little in common without the essential fourth.\n\nIf people read the book Conversations with Kennedy, I think they will realize that I'm not a great historian. Quite simply, a friend of mine got elected president of the United States.\n  Robert F. Kennedy\n\nBrother, Attorney General, United States Senator, Democratic Presidential Candidate\n\n\"President Kennedy was fond of quoting Dante that 'the hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.'\"\n\nCourage is the virtue that President Kennedy most admired. He sought out those people who had demonstrated in some way, whether it was on a battlefield, or a baseball diamond, in a speech, or fighting for a cause, that they had courage, that they would stand up, that they could be counted on...\n\nPresident Kennedy would have been forty-seven in May of 1964. At least half of the days he spent on this earth were days of intense physical pain. He had diphtheria when he was very young and serious back trouble when he was older. In between, he had almost every conceivable ailment. When we were growing up together, we used to laugh about the great risk a mosquito took in biting Jack Kennedy\u2014 with some of his blood, the mosquito was sure to die... But during all this time, I never heard him complain. I never heard him say anything which would indicate that he felt God had dealt with him unjustly. Those who knew him well would know he was suffering only because his face was a little whiter, the lines around his eyes were a little deeper, his words a little sharper. Those who did not know him well detected nothing.\n\nHe didn't complain about his problem, so why should I complain about mine\u2014that is how one always felt.\n\nWhen he battled against against illness, when he fought in the war, when he ran for the Senate, when he stood against the powerful interests in Massachusetts to fight for the St. Lawrence Seaway, when he fought for a labor reform act in 1959, when he entered the West Virginia primary in 1960, when he debated Lyndon Johnson at the Democratic Convention in Los Angeles with no preparation, when he took the blame completely on himself for the failure at the Bay of Pigs, when he fought the steel companies, when he stood up at Berlin in 1961 and then again in 1962 for the freedom of that city, when he forced the withdrawal of the Soviet missiles from Cuba, when he spoke and fought for equal rights for all our citizens, and hundreds of other things both big and small, he was reflecting what is the best in human beings.\n\nHe was demonstrating conviction, courage, a desire to help those who needed help, and true and genuine love for his country....\n\nPresident Kennedy had only a thousand days in the White House instead of 3,000 days, yet so much was accomplished. Still so much needs to be done.\n\nPresident Kenedy was fond of quoting Dante that \"the hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.\"\n\nIf there is a lesson from the life of John F. Kennedy and from his death, it is that in this world of ours, none of us can afford to be lookers-on, the critics on the sidelines....\n\nPresident Kennedy's grandmother was living in Boston when he was assassinated. She was also alive the year President Lincoln was shot. We are a young country. We are growing and expanding until it appears that this planet will no longer contain us. We have problems now that people fifty, even ten years ago, would not have dreamed would have to be faced....\n\nIt has been fashionable in many places to look down on politics, on those in government. President Kennedy, I think, changed that and altered the public perception of government. He certainly did for those who participated. But, however we feel about politics, the arena of government is where decisions will be made affecting not only all our destinies, but the future of our children born and unborn....\n\nDecember 18, 1963\n\nReprinted with permission from A Tribute to John F. Kennedy,\n\n\u00a9 1964 by Encyclop\u00e6dia Britannica, Inc.\n  Robert F. Kennedy Jr.\n\nNephew, environmental activist\n\n\"(T)here had been a sense of foreboding even within our family as he and Aunt Jackie prepared for the trip. Jack made an unscheduled trip to Cape Cod to say goodbye to my ailing grandfather. The night before the trip, Mummy found Jack distant and brooding at a dinner for the Supreme Court justices.\"\n\n(NOTE: This reflection was published previously by The Huffington Post. Used with author's permission)\n\nOn November 22, 1963, Mummy picked me up early from Sidwell Friends School in Washington, D.C. Driving home to Hickory Hill in Northern Virginia, I noticed that all the district flags were at half-staff. Mummy told us that a bad man had shot Uncle Jack and that he was in heaven.\n\nDaddy's friend and former football teammate, Dean Markham, a Justice Department Rackets Division Attorney, picked up my little brother David at Our Lady of Victory. \"Why did they kill Uncle Jack?\" David asked him. Dean, an ex-marine, combat veteran, known as the toughest linesmen on the \"GI-Bill Squad\"\u2014the toughest football team in Harvard University's history\u2014wasn't tough enough to field that question. He wept silently all the way to our driveway.\n\nWhen I got home, Daddy was walking in the yard with Brumus, our giant black Newfoundland, and Rusty, the Irish Setter. We ran and hugged him. We were all crying. He told us, \"He had the most wonderful life, and he never had a sad day.\"\n\nNeither Beck, Hannity, nor Savage nor the hate merchants at Fox News and talk radio can claim to have invented their genre. Toxic right-wing vitriol so dominated the public airwaves from the McCarthy era until 1963 that President Kennedy, that year, launched a citizen's campaign to enforce the Fairness Doctrine, which required accuracy and balance in the broadcast media. Students and civic and religious groups filed more than five hundred complaints against right-wing extremists and hate-mongering commentators before the Federal Communications Commission.\n\nThe Dallas, Texas, airwaves were particularly radioactive; preachers and political leaders and local businessmen spewed extremist vitriol on the city's radio and TV stations, inflaming the passions of the city's legions of unhinged fanatics. There was something about the city\u2014a rage or craziness, that, whether sensible or not, seemed to have set the stage for Jack's murder. The Voice of America, half an hour after the assassination, described Dallas as \"the center of extreme right wing.\" The Texas town was such a seething cauldron of right-wing depravity that historian William Manchester portrayed it as recalling the final days of the Weimar Republic.\n\n\"Mad things happened,\" reported Manchester. \"Huge billboards screamed 'Impeach Earl Warren.'\" Jewish stores were smeared with crude swastikas. Fanatical young matrons swayed in public to the chant, \"Stevenson's going to die\u2014his heart will stop, stop, stop and he will burn, burn, burn!\"\n\nThe mercantile elite that ruled the city carefully cultivated the seeds of hate. Radical-right broadsides were distributed in public schools; the Kennedy name was booed in classrooms; junior executives who refused to attend radical seminars were blackballed and fired.\n\nManchester continued: \"Dallas had become the mecca for medicine show evangelists of the National Independence Convention, the Christian Crusades, the Minutemen, the John Birch and Patrick Henry Societies and the headquarters of right wing oil man, H.L. Hunt, and his dubious activities...The city's mayor, Earl Carroll, a right wing co-founder of the John Birch Society, was known as \"the socialist mayor of Dallas\" because he maintained his affiliation with the Democratic Party.\"\n\nDallas's oil and gas barons who routinely denounced JFK as a \"comsymp\" (Communist sympathizer) had unbottled the genie of populist rage and harnessed it to the cause of radical ideology, anti-government fervor, and corporate dominion.\n\nUncle Jack's speech in Dallas was to have been an explosive broadside against the right wing. He found Dallas's streets packed five deep with Kennedy Democrats, but among them were the familiar ornaments of presidential hatred; high-flying confederate flags and hundreds of posters adorning the walls and streets of Dallas showing Jack's picture inscribed with, \"Wanted for Treason.\" One man held a posterboard saying, \"you a traitor [sic].\" Other placards accused him of being a Communist. When public school PA systems announced Jack's assassination, Dallas school children as young as the fourth grade applauded. A Birmingham radio caller declared that, \"Any white man who did what he did for niggers should be shot.\"\n\nAs my siblings and I visited the White House to console my cousins John and Caroline, a picket paraded out front with a sign \"God punished JFK.\"\n\nJack had received myriad warnings against visiting the right-wing Texas city. Indeed, there had been a sense of foreboding even within our family as he and Aunt Jackie prepared for the trip. Jack made an unscheduled trip to Cape Cod to say goodbye to my ailing grandfather. The night before the trip, Mummy found Jack distant and brooding at a dinner for the Supreme Court justices. He was very fond of Mummy, but for the first time ever, he looked right through her.\n\nJack's death forced a national bout of self-examination.\n\nIn 1964, Americans repudiated the forces of right-wing hatred and violence with an historic landslide in the presidential election between LBJ and Goldwater. For a while, the advocates of right-wing extremism receded from the public forum. Now they have returned with a vengeance\u2014to the broadcast media and to prominent positions in the political landscape.\n  Christopher Kennedy Lawford\n\nNephew, author, filmmaker\n\n\"Jack Kennedy overcame serious health problems and that's in part what made him great. We often forget that.\"\n\nI was very young when my uncle was around, but I have recollections of him coming to visit my parents in Los Angeles when I was growing up on the beach here. I do remember the 1960 Democratic convention. I went to the convention when I was five years old. My mom was a delegate. I remember being amazed by this enormous spectacle in the LA Sports Arena.\n\nI remember sitting in a chair and then later being awakened in my uncle's hotel room. I was sitting on his bed and my uncle sat down and said he had just been nominated to be president of the United States, that it was going to be a very hard job, and that he wanted my help. I responded that I would help him, but that I was kind of tired right then, and I wanted my mom to take me home.\n\nMy uncle had a lot of energy obviously. We were a big Irish family; there was a lot of laughter. When he came to my home, we would go swimming in the ocean. I got to raise the presidential flag when he came to our home. People would gather outside our fence and try to look into our home. There was always a sense that he was very important and that people were very attentive to him. Everyone was always energized when he was around.\n\nI remember going to Washington and being in motorcades with my uncle. I got carsick once and threw up on his assistant, Kenny O'Donnell.\n\nI remember November 22 very vividly. I was in school\u2014St. Martin's Roman Catholic School. I was treated very well by the nuns there; it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my family. I was in class and these women came to the door and they looked distraught. There was obviously something going on. They kept looking at me. I didn't know why. Then they motioned me to come over. They said something about my family. I don't remember if they said the family member was hurt or dead. But whatever it was, it was very bad.\n\nI thought they might have been referring to my grandfather, Joseph Kennedy. He was old and I remember, as a kid, you think those are the people who are going to die. My uncle was way too energetic, way too young, and way too full of life to be dead. And, at that age, I did not understand shootings.\n\nObviously, this was a big deal. They asked me if I wanted to go home. I said \"No,\" because it did not occur to me that I would want to go home. Later, at recess, we played stickball, and I remember being very prolific in my hitting that day. There was a certain energy. Up until then, nobody really focused on me. That kind of attention, that energy, is powerful. People were paying attention to me in a way that energized me. There was a level of concern, and in my family, that pity, any self-pity we never really went down that road. That sense of wanting to take care of me, I didn't want any part of.\n\nI later went home that day, and my mother was obviously unbelievably affected by this. I don't remember my father's reaction. There were a lot of people in front of my house. I went outside and walked among them and began to get a feeling of tension, which I did not particularly like. Then later, my mother asked me if I wanted to go to the funeral. I was having a friend spend the weekend and I did not want to disappoint him, and so I said, \"No,\" not really grasping what I was saying \"no\" to.\n\nI understood there was something big going on, but at the time, I thought it didn't really have anything to do with me. Also, there was a certain amount of denial about death and what death really was. It was the first death I ever experienced. I must say that for a long, long time, I really regretted that decision, in the sense I had really let my family down, my mother down particularly. I felt bad for many, many years. In hindsight, it was selfish. I was thinking how I did not want to disappoint my friend. That gives you a sense of a kid's viewpoint. My sister Sydney went to the funeral with my mother.\n\nMy uncle was very smart. I later went to Cuba and produced a film on the Cuban Missile Crisis called Thirteen Days. Obviously, Cuba played a big part in my uncle's presidency and in this country's more recent history. There were weapons of mass destruction in Cuba. The Soviets would have attacked. (Then-Cuban President Fidel) Castro told me that he had given orders to his field commanders that if American planes came, they were to rush to the missile sites and yell to the Soviet troops, \"Fire the missiles! Fire the missiles!\" The Soviets, Castro said, in the panic of it would have fired the missiles.\n\nHis legacy\u2014the promise of it, the youth of it, the vigor of it\u2014was something people respond to. But substantively, his legacy includes his commitment to the arts, to mental health issues, to those things I care about. In terms of the civil rights movement, poverty\u2014all the things that Lyndon Johnson was able to create in the Great Society\u2014were legacies of my uncle. Those things are missing today. We have a country today where people are so concerned about their own dwindling assets, they can't seem to get out of their own way and think about anyone but themselves. It's a shame. My uncle's legacy of \"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country,\" is a theme that has gone by the wayside. It's really unfortunate. Unless we get back to the things that made us great, our country will die on the vine.\n\nMy uncle struggled with a lot of illness and a lot of issues with regard to those illnesses. We grew up with this ethic and it came from him: in order to achieve great things in life, you have to overcome something great. He ascribed to that and he passed that on to us. There are millions of people in our society who have struggled with great things and they are marginalized. They've dealt with poverty, or mental health issues, or addiction issues, and they are not considered assets to our society. Jack Kennedy overcame serious health problems and that's in part what made him great.\n\nWe often forget that.\n  Frank Mankiewicz\n\nPeace Corps director in Peru, president of NPR, press secretary to Robert F. Kennedy\n\n\"We've got a president who stays up until midnight watching television.\"\n\nI was about to go to Peru as the first director of the Peace Corps in that country. That would have been 1962, and I was waiting in Washington because there had been an armed overthrow of the elected government in Peru, and we were withholding the volunteers until democracy was restored. Meanwhile, President Kennedy was in the process of visiting every government agency just to say \"hello\" and be seen. And he got around to the Peace Corps, which would have been January or February of '62.\n\nWe all gathered in the auditorium, across the street from the White House in the Chamber of Commerce building. And (Peace Corps Director) Sarge Shriver asked me if I would stay on the platform and sort of entertain the troops while he went across the street to the White House to escort the president.\n\nSo I was telling some stories about my early visits to Latin America, and pretty soon there's a big commotion at the back of the hall, and here comes the president with Sarge Shriver. Photographers. Spotlights. He comes down the aisle, comes up on the stage. And Sarge is introducing him to people, and he says to the president, \"This is Frank Mankiewicz. He's our director in Peru.\"\n\nThe president shook my hand. Then he stopped and looked at me and said, \"I saw you on Mike Wallace's show last year talking about Peru.\"\n\nAnd I thought, Jesus, huh? We've got a president who stays up until midnight watching television.\n\nBut I was very impressed with him. He was very tan, very fit, very energetic. He had that quality of talking to someone or listening to them as though they were the only other person in the room, or indeed the country. A very serious listener.\n\n(On November 22) I was then in the second city in Peru, called Arequipa. We had some Peace Corps volunteers there. I was walking on the street, probably a block or two from the Peace Corps office, headed somewhere. And I noticed a big commotion. People talking. A man came toward me weeping. Physically crying.\n\nAnd I stopped him, and I said in Spanish, \"What's happened? What's going on?\"\n\nAnd he said to me, \"The president's been shot.\"\n\nAnd I said (and this is all in Spanish), \"You mean President Bela\u00fande?\" who was, of course, the president of Peru.\n\nAnd he said to me (in Spanish), \"I wish it were.\" A Peruvian. I always found that a very, very impressive response. Not because he wished ill of their president.\n\nAnd so I then rushed back to the Peace Corps office, and we started hearing reports on short-wave radio... I told the rest of the volunteers. I checked with Washington\u2014how serious this was. And we simply called off whatever activities we had, and I made an effort to try to get the volunteers together. We missed the funeral, and of course, there was no TV.\n\nI went back to Lima to go to the (U.S.) embassy as quickly as I could. I remember spending time with the ambassador. On the following Sunday morning, I was at the embassy and the ambassador came in, maybe from church service or something, and he said, \"I've heard the most horrible news. Someone had killed Lee Harvey Oswald in the Dallas police station.\" That was the first I had heard of that.\n\nI was inspired by President Kennedy then and I think I remain so. He was our president. He was from our generation, which was quite a change. Presidents up to then had always been father figures. Here was a man who was a few years older than I. He fought in \"our\" war. Like me, he was a World War II veteran. Young, vigorous. Thinking about the same things we were, and I think that was what contributed largely to my\u2014and I think my cohorts'\u2014inspiration by President Kennedy. Here was a guy who had been to school when I was. He left school, went into the service. Fought in the service. Came out; graduated. He was one of our guys.\n\nI think his legacy is pretty good. I know there's a lot of preoccupation with scandal now. A lot of things have happened in his family. But on the other hand, here's an extraordinary family. I'm not sure anyone (in the family) since Joe Kennedy has devoted more than an hour to personal aggrandizement\u2014to making money, to the American dream of becoming a rich person. I think they all have a strong social instinct. I know Robert Kennedy's kids all do. It's quite an extraordinary family.\n\nWe (Robert Kennedy and I) met once again in Panama. In those days, when you flew from Washington to Lima, you had to stop in Panama for re-fueling. The stop in Panama was usually for an hour and usually between two, or three, or four o'clock in the morning. I was having a meeting of all my country directors in Panama at the time, and I happened to read in the local paper that Kennedy was going to be coming through on this flight early the next morning.\n\nSo, I thought, I'll go down to the airport and say, \"hello.\"\n\nSo, at three o'clock, maybe two forty-five, I showed up at the airport, and there's the airplane. And, of course, there was no security, I just walked over. And there were a couple of newspaper reporters there.\n\nThey said, \"When's the press conference?\"\n\nI said, \"I don't know about any press conference. But I'll find out.\"\n\nSo, I went up on board to the plane. (The airline) had fixed up two of the overhead compartments into berths. Robert Kennedy was in one and Ethel was in the other\u2014in pajamas. So I came on board and I told him about these reporters, and he started to get out of bed and get dressed. And somebody said, \"There's no press conference scheduled. They just showed up.\"\n\nAnd he said to me, \"If I don't come down to the press conference, who gets hurt the most, those reporters or their publishers?\"\n\nI said, \"Undoubtedly, the reporters will get hurt.\"\n\nHe said, \"That's what I thought.\"\n\nHe started to get dressed. And then one of his staffers said to him, \"Senator, why don't you stay here? Stay in your bed, and we'll bring the reporters on board. And you can have the press conference right here. And that way, you won't have to get up and get dressed.\"\n\nRobert Kennedy looked at me and said, \"What do you think of that?\"\n\nAnd I thought, \"There's a key question here.\"\n\nI didn't have a lot of time to think, but I'm very happy to say that I said to him, \"Senator, I think that's what President De Gaulle would do.\"\n\nHe laughed. And said, \"Yeah, I agree. C'mon.\"\n\nSo he got up, got dressed, and we went down and had a little press conference. If he had done the press conference in his pajamas, I don't think we ever would have stopped hearing about it.\n  John Seigenthaler Sr.\n\nJournalist, author, First Amendment historian\n\n\"(John Kennedy) poured me coffee, and then he was standing with the pot in one hand and his cup in the other, and said (to his brother Robert), 'So that's it, General. Let's grab our balls and go.'\"\n\nMY first encounter with President John F. Kennedy was in the spring of 1957 when I was a reporter for the Nashville Tennessean assigned to Washington. My assignment included covering the hearings of what was called the Senate Select Committee on Improper Activities in Labor and Management.\n\nI thought (and my view was shared by many correspondents covering the nation's capital) that Jack was in a class by himself\u2014an intellectual, who also was a street-wise politician, having been elected to the U. S. House of Representatives, and subsequently to the Senate\u2014and who was ambitious to run to succeed President Eisenhower in the White House.\n\nI was not alone among the reporters who put him in a class by himself. Thinking back on it, I realize that while my sense of that was a \"first impression,\" it did not come with an initial handshake or as a result of a few casual conversations. It was, really, an impression, strengthened and confirmed gradually, as I got to interact with him while he was in the Senate.\n\nLater, in 1958, I was a Nieman fellow at Harvard, and by the time I arrived in Boston in September, Jack was running for reelection to the Senate. Already the press was speculating that this race for the Senate was a prelude to a 1960 run for the White House.\n\nOur Nieman class\u2014twelve journalists from across the nation and five from abroad\u2014urged me from the first day to try to get Jack to come sit in on one of our weekly afternoon wine-beer-and-cheese seminars. There was some hesitation about it. It took a couple of phone calls to Ted Reardon, Jack's administrative assistant, but finally Ted called back. Jack accepted the invitation. And he came.\n\nIn fact, he showed up a bit early that afternoon, and it was a mark of the man that he was interested in knowing about my classmates. Where were they from? What news organizations did they represent? What was he or she like? As the session started, and we began to put questions to them, I noted that he would begin his responses by addressing the questioner as \"Mister Turner\" or \"Mister Morgan\" or \"Mister Parasuram.\" That kept the session rather formal, but still, his humor sometimes self-effacing, was calculated to set a tone that resulted in our questions beginning, \"Senator\" or \"Mister Kennedy.\" Perhaps half the class was his age, a couple perhaps his senior, and some of their questions were pointed. But I thought his demeanor set the tone throughout: formal, respectful, friendly.\n\nA few years later, I watched him during presidential press conferences, and thought back to that session with my Nieman class. He knew many of the journalists popping questions in those press conferences on a first name basis\u2014but still it always was \"Mister.\" And he had that same self-effacing sense of humor that let him laugh at himself as well as with others. He would take a tough question, respond with a wry comment, and, as the wheels turned, he would craft a substantive answer. It was a natural gift\u2014this \"think while you talk\"\u2014one shared by few politicians I have observed.\n\nThe Nieman Fellows seminar that afternoon was terrific for all of us. We were happy that he did not seem at all pressured to leave. When it was over, I escorted him out to a waiting car, and he said, \"I'm going to be moving around the greater Boston area during my campaign, and if you have any additional time while you are here at Harvard, any time you would like to ride with me, I'd be glad to have you along.\"\n\nI took him up on it. On one occasion, we were stuck in traffic in Boston, and Johnny Powers, who was a member of the Massachusetts legislature and quite an astute fellow, told the driver, \"When you get to the next corner, pull over.\" Powers tapped Jack on the shoulder and said, \"Jack, look up ahead. That's Mr. McCaffrey painting his house, and he is the key to this neighborhood. You need to have a conversation with him. Just a quick hello.\"\n\nThe senator got out of the car, went to the ladder, and called up to the fellow. The old man looked down, at first seeming puzzled, or harassed. Sort of irritated, he called down, \"What is it? What do you want?\" Maybe the sun was in his eyes. He didn't recognize him. (This was the first time I ever noticed Jack had any problems with his back. He started up the ladder with great care and took those steps one at a time and very slowly, under some stress\u2014one foot up, and then the other; one foot up, and then the other.)\n\nHe had taken a few steps up when the old fellow finally recognized him and said, \"Oh, Jack, Jack Kennedy! I'm coming down. I want to see you.\" And down he comes, Jack now backing down, still feeling some stress. Then they were on the sidewalk, shaking hands and into a conversation about how the campaign was going. Jack says something like, \"You ask me? I'm asking you. How are we doing?\"\n\nWithin minutes, passersby and people in the neighborhood started flocking around them, and it turned into a street corner rally. The U.S. marshal got out of the car and had to direct traffic. Jack had a ball. Mr. McCaffrey would introduce him to people and say, \"This is so and so, and his brother, he was in the Navy like you.\" Or he would say, \"This is Pat Egan, and his brother Joe or Uncle Charlie, you remember, is the head waiter (or maybe dishwasher) at such and such restaurant.\" And Jack would say, \"Oh yes, I've eaten there.\" Or, \"I remember him.\" It was warm and funny to watch. As (House Speaker) Tip O'Neill later said, \"All politics is local.\"\n\nI returned to the newspaper in late October, 1959. During this period, Jack Kennedy's plans to run for president were rapidly moving forward. Jack's formal announcement came in early January, 1960\u2014no surprise to anyone since the media had been reporting it for weeks in advance.\n\nBy spring, Bob (Robert Kennedy) was calling, asking if I would be interested in coming to work with him in the campaign as his administrative assistant. There finally came a point when I felt I needed a change, and in late June, I called Bob to ask if he still was looking for an administrative assistant. He was. The new editor, knowing that I was grousing (as were several of my colleagues), granted me a leave from August through the November election.\n\nImmediately after the election, Jack took some vacation time in Florida, and one day while playing golf, ran Bob's name up the flag pole as a possible candidate for attorney general. William Lawrence, the New York Times reporter in the golf foursome, wrote a story about the possibility, and it drew negative editorial responses including one from the Times that complained he had never practiced law as a litigator and had limited experience, except for his work as an attorney in the Senate. It was also reported\u2014accurately\u2014that Joseph P. Kennedy favored the idea, which did not contribute to any groundswell in its favor.\n\nJack was in the process of naming members of his cabinet and did so every couple of days from the small elevated front porch of his house in Georgetown. One afternoon, Bob asked me if I could devote the next day to driving him to several appointments he had made with various veterans of Washington political life. It would be a tight schedule and take the entire day.\n\nI was staying with Bob at Hickory Hill, and we left the house early. His first appointment was with Harry Truman at the Mayflower Hotel on Connecticut Avenue. I circled the block for half an hour while he talked about his future with the former president. When he got back in the car, it was apparent that it had not gone the way he had hoped. Next, we went to the Supreme Court building where he spent almost an hour with his friend, Associate Justice William O. Douglass. It was clear that Bill Douglass had made him no happier than Truman had.\n\nThen, to the Senate office building where he saw, separately, John McClellan and Bill Fulbright. He seemed no happier. Next, we stopped at the Justice Department (in those days the FBI headquarters was there), and he spent a half-hour with J. Edgar Hoover. Finally, he stopped at the law office of Clark Clifford, and then we headed home. The meetings had not gone well. On the way home, his spirits were down. He was disconsolate. The \"wise old heads\" he talked with that day (with one exception) did not tell him what he had hoped to hear\u2014that he should become attorney general, or even go to work in the Defense Department. The exception came from Hoover. \"He wasn't sincere about it,\" said Bob. \"I could tell. He just wanted me to tell Dad and Jack that he was for it. He was just being political.\"\n\nFinally, he decided that he would not do it, and that he would call his brother and tell him. Just before he picked up the phone, he said, \"This will kill my father.\" And, so he called his brother and told him he wouldn't do it. He recited the whole series of visits to his brother, Jack, who then said to him, \"Well, don't tell me now. I want to have breakfast with you in the morning. Come to the house.\"\n\nBob invited me to accompany him next morning. When we walked in, the president-elect was coming down the stairs, smiling. We went in toward the back of the house to the breakfast table. When we were done with our biscuits, eggs, and bacon, Bob says, \"Now, can we talk about my situation?\"\n\nThey were facing each other across the table; I was sitting on Jack's left, Bob's right. The president-elect reached over and grabbed my wrist, and for ten seconds he had eye contact with me and said, \"Have you heard the arguments for and against this thing?\" And he began to tell me\u2014but now he was talking directly to Bob, their eyes locked. Then he looked at Bob and said, and I'm paraphrasing, \"I have named the Cabinet, and I know some of the members. Some I do not know. I have known Rusk casually, but never had any intimate dealings with him. I know Stu Udall\u2014we served in the House together.\" He went down the list. Then he said to Bob, \"There will be times when I need the unvarnished sense of someone who is not interested in anything except the success of my presidency. There will be difficult times.\" He mentioned civil rights and organized crime. He ran through a list of critical issues and again added, \"I need someone who has an interest in the success of my administration.\"\n\nHe went on for about ten minutes. He was direct and to the point\u2014and he made the point in strong terms directly to his brother. It was clear. He needed Bob.\n\nHe then said to me, \"Do you want more coffee?\" He went into the kitchen and came back with the coffee pot. He poured me coffee, and then he was standing with the pot in one hand and his cup in the other, and said, \"So that's it, General. Let's grab our balls and go.\" We got up, and as we walked back out to the front porch, the president-elect told him to come back the next day and they would announce it.\n\nI had told Bob I did not want to work in the administration but wanted to return to journalism. Now he asked me to rethink that decision and come to work for at least a year as his administrative assistant in the Department of Justice. I agreed that very night to do it. I never regretted it.\n\nThe oral history projects I have participated in over the years since their deaths have included my reflections on that breakfast meeting at the president-elect's house. One of the revisionist historians on the Kennedy family, C. David Heyman, grossly distorted the account as I recorded it. He wrote that the meeting with me had been contrived by the two brothers, and that they were play-acting, assured that as a journalist I would write it for publication and repeat it to other journalists.\n\nTo believe him, you have to accept that Robert Kennedy took those trips to President Truman and the rest on the previous day, and that they \"arranged\" the phone call the night before\u2014just for my benefit. Both of them knew, of course, that I was not a journalist at the time, had not worked as one for many months\u2014and the fact is that I would not do so for at least 18 months more. Had I leaked what had transpired to some journalist (and I could have done so) both brothers would have considered it a breach of friendship, and I would have forfeited the opportunity to share future confidences with either of them.\n\nOn November 22, I was in my office at the Tennessean. A reporter from the AP came in. He had a torn strip from the AP wire machine and said, \"John, you should read this.\" I read it and flared with anger and said, \"If this is somebody's idea of a joke, it is sick.\" The reporter burst into tears and said, \"I wish it was a joke.\" I remember it vividly.\n\nThat night, the night of the autopsy, I got a call from I believe it was John Nolan at the hospital (Bethesda Naval Hospital), and he said Ethel would like to talk to me, and he put her on the line. Ethel said, \"Could you come up?\" And I said, \"Well sure.\" I planned to come, but I just didn't want to get in the way. (The next day) I went to the White House. It seems to be there were all sort of strange people in line as I was going through: Southern governors who really had been knocking Jack Kennedy's ass off for years. I went through the line and I was coming out the back of the foyer and I ran into Ethel. She told me where Bob was. He was in another part of the White House, upstairs. I remember my first impression was that he looked to me like a man who is just in intense pain; he looked like a man who hurt, I mean, you know, just physically hurt. He was glad I was there. He wanted to know if there was anything he could do for me, and I wanted to know if there was anything I could do for him. It was largely small talk; there wasn't really anything to say.\n\nBy this time, I was the editor of the newspaper, and we had a suite of offices on Connecticut Avenue. I was on the office's balcony with three members of my staff as the funeral procession came by. I did not march in the procession to St. Matthew's Cathedral. I did go to the cemetery and was on the periphery of the crowd. Almost everyone there was in tears. Looking back, the images are so vivid on television and in the newspapers. It is difficult to know what I took in visually and what became the lore of that funeral.\n\nHaving worked in that administration and then having the opportunity to be there, and living with the memories of some of the encounters like a visit to the White House for a birthday party for Caroline, you live with those memories. After all these years, the New Frontier is almost a clich\u00e9. But for those of us who worked in the 1960 campaign, the whole concept was very real to us. It was not political rhetoric. We knew quite well the civil rights challenges. The economy was sluggish, and internationally, there was a sense of lethargy. We took it very seriously. We felt deeply that it was vitally important to \"get the country moving again.\"\n\nTo me, Jack Kennedy's legacy is that his life and his administration served as a model for governance by politics\u2014in the best definition of the word. He looked at politics as an honorable profession. Any journalist who lived during that time or who has watched videos of his press conferences cannot come away with any other sense. He unconditionally loved the role of public service. For me, Jack will always be the happy warrior.\nSECTION SIX:\n\nJournalists and Commentators\n  Eddie Barker\n\nKRLD Dallas, first journalist to confirm Kennedy's death\n\n\"John Kennedy was the darling of the press. To an extent that no other man who has held that office has enjoyed that...Let your own imagination create good or evil.\"\n\nON November 22, 1963, I was assigned to cover President Kennedy's speech at the Trade Mart for both KRLD radio and television. I realized something was wrong when the people supposedly coming in for the luncheon didn't come in. Up at the head table everything was very much in order, but no one was coming in to sit.\n\nExcerpt from Eddie Barker's Notebook by Eddie Barker and John Mark Dempsey \u00a9 2006 (Used with author's permission):\n\nIt was shortly before one o'clock central time. President Kennedy's arrival at Dallas's Trade Mart had been delayed.... Suddenly sirens were audible as the president's car and a parade of accompanying vehicles sped by the Trade Mart. We knew where they were headed: Parkland Hospital, where the most serious trauma cases were treated.\n\nI knew a doctor who was a member of the staff at Parkland Hospital and who happened to be at the Trade Mart for the president's speech. Like the rest of us, the doctor realized something wasn't right, went to a pay phone, and calmly placed a call at 12:35. An acquaintance in the emergency room matter-of-factly told the doctor that the president was dead when they brought him through the door. Of course, the president was not officially pronounced dead until 1:00 p.m., but the information my doctor acquaintance received more closely reflected the reality of the situation.\n\nMy friend saw me struggling to maintain a coherent broadcast with the limited information available, walked over, and whispered in my ear words that would shock the world and stay with me for a lifetime:\n\n\"Eddie, he's dead.\"\n\nThose words sent a cold chill running down my spine. I didn't want to believe them, but the source was too good.\n\nI then made a decision that has caused a lot of comment in the years since that strangely brilliant Friday afternoon. I told an audience that included the whole CBS network that a reliable source had confirmed to me that President Kennedy was dead. What I didn't know was that my shocking report caused a lot of anxiety as CBS News headquarters in New York. Walter Cronkite, holding the story at arm's length, repeatedly gave me, the local newsman, credit for saying the president was dead. As the minutes went by, Walter was generous in crediting me with the story, making sure the local reporter was given the credit he deserved. And the history books take note of the fact that CBS News stuck with the story of a reporter they knew and trusted.\n\nOnce a reporter, you're always a reporter. My God, I was told this, and I had to do something with it. Because it was pretty much straight from the horse's mouth, I went ahead and used it. I had been so close to CBS with various stories whose origins were here in Dallas. I was a known entity and the people in New York, including Walter, would say, \"Well, if Barker says it, it's correct.\"\n\nJohn Kennedy was the darling of the press. To an extent that no other man who has held that office has enjoyed that. I think you have to look at the time he served. Let your own imagination create good or evil. He was so popular\u2014even in Dallas\u2014so many thought the world of him. He missed the mark, but had he had the full run at it, he would have ranked up there with the most important presidents in the history of the United States.\n\nBut he was cut short.\n  Tom Brokaw\n\nNBC News\n\n\"And I suppose I matured in that twenty-four hours, over those couple of days. I think I became more realistic as a journalist and saw the larger screen. And the consequences of daring action and the evil that can come, even to America. I do think it was a seminal time for me.\"\n\n(JOHN Kennedy) matched all my impressions because he was very cool and elegant. When his brother (Robert) came (to Omaha), it was different. He was rumpled, and his shirt was frayed, and his hair was messed, and he was very combative in an exchange with reporters.\n\nThere was this enormous generational shift. This was the World War II generation that had been forged by that war. They represented such a profound change from the generation of FDR, Harry Truman, and Dwight Eisenhower.\n\nThere was youthfulness about them that we could identify. They were in their forties\u2014Kennedy and Nixon for example.\n\nFor most of us in working class America, we had our nose pressed up against the glass of the Kennedys. They had a lifestyle that we could not imagine. It was F. Scott Fitzgeraldian in its own way. And they brought enormous energy to the campaign obviously. I remember first being aware of them when Bobby was counsel to the Senate Racketeering Committee and hearing that distinctive New England accent. We didn't hear that on a regular basis because television was just coming of age. And wherever we lived in the country, we could hear the different dialects now because they played out on that little screen every night. So the Kennedys brought dash, distinctive accent, and enormous wealth and lifestyle to parts of the country that we could not imagine.\n\nIn photography, they talk about a first and second generation print. I think we're in about the fifth generation now. And there are still people who were inspired by John Kennedy, who, even if they were not alive when he was president, know the ringing words, \"Ask not...\" and the whole \"Camelot\" concept still plays, I think, for a lot of people across the country.\n\nBut we've moved on from there. And there have been many people since then. Ronald Reagan came along and inspired an entirely different generation in an entirely different fashion. There's a Reagan generation as there was a Kennedy generation. We keep evolving in our politics and our reaction to it. There is an entire generation of social conservatives and entrepreneurial people in this country who were inspired by Ronald Reagan. They were in college when he was the president. And now they are in their late thirties, early to mid-forties and they make up a lot of this country. They got interested in politics because of him.\n\n(Regarding the impact of television coverage of the assassination) I don't think I turned to friends and said, \"This is a new era.\" But we were bound together by that screen. And we could watch the state burial and common grieving that was going on across the country on that screen. We had not seen anything quite like that. When FDR died, and he made that long train ride back across the South, that was primarily in Movietone News and still pictures. But this played out live. You were wedded to that screen.\n\nI remember being in church on Sunday morning when Lee Harvey Oswald was shot. The priest came out and said, \"What have we come to? They've now shot Lee Harvey Oswald.\" The church pretty well vacated, and we all ran home to watch the replay of it. And then I went to the office. The television set was, if you will, the centrifuge for the country. Everybody drew from it in some fashion.\n\nI was just a bit player. I was in Omaha, and I was racing around the city getting reactions. I did broadcast it for the NBC audience in Omaha because the network was dark for local programming. I also remember the Midwestern governors were meeting in Omaha at the time. Mitt Romney's father, George Romney, was there. And he was a Republican. Big strong executive. And we went down to catch his reaction coming out of a conference. And my cameraman said to him, \"Governor, I'm just so sorry.\" And Romney walked over and put his arms around him and said, \"We're all so sorry.\" And I thought, at that time, \"This goes up and down the generational ladder and across the country.\"\n\nAnd I suppose I matured in that twenty-four hours, over those couple of days. I think I became more realistic as a journalist and saw the larger screen. And the consequences of daring action and the evil that can come, even to America. I do think it was a seminal time for me.\n\nI think (John Kennedy's) legacy is in the boldness of his rhetoric and declaration, and the transition from one generation to another. Legislatively, there's not a lot you can look at. He wasn't there that long. I really do believe he brought younger people into the arena. And made the public arena a really attractive place for the adventurous, for the young. His offspring, politically speaking, were front and center of the anti-war movement of the sixties. Al Lowenstein and people like that who stepped up.\n\nSo I think his legacy is mostly in the memory of the dynamism he seemed to bring to the office. And the people that he would attract to high office. He made it honorable to go to Washington and a calling, if you will, for people of all stations of life.\n  Bob Clark\n\nABC News, only journalist to cover assassinations of both John and Robert Kennedy\n\n\"We had no idea the president was going to the hospital. When we got there, we were permitted to run up next to his car. He was lying in the back seat with his head in Jackie's lap. That's the first we knew he had been shot. It was a horrific sight. I will never forget it.\"\n\nI started covering politics in Washington in 1948, and presidents, beginning with Eisenhower's first day in office in 1953. Both President Eisenhower and President Kennedy were very good at handling the press. Eisenhower gave direct, responsive answers; Kennedy made a little more of a game of it. He gave clever answers. I would put Eisenhower at least as equal with Kennedy.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was the back-up ABC reporter in Dallas, back up to Bill Lawrence, who was on vacation. I was selected as the network pool correspondent and was placed in the pool car for the motorcade. That car was just a few vehicles behind the limousine Kennedy was in. I was directly under the window where Oswald was shooting from when the shots rang out.\n\nThe shots were loud and clear, though we had no idea Kennedy had been hit. Merriman Smith of UPI, who was the senior wire service reporter, was in the car. He was a gun fancier and said, \"Those are shots.\"\n\nHe was permitted to sit in the front seat of the car and grabbed the only phone in the vehicle. Jack Bell, the AP reporter, didn't make an objection, but soon realized \"Smitty\" was going on and on and keeping him from filing (a bulletin). So, as we were nearing the hospital, Bell was reaching forward trying desperately to grab the phone out of Smitty's hand.\n\nWe followed the motorcade as fast as we could. We had no idea the president was going to the hospital. When we got there, we were permitted to run up next to his car. He was lying in the back seat with his head in Jackie's lap. That's the first we knew he had been shot. It was a horrific sight. I will never forget it. Moments later, they (hospital staff) brought out gurneys for Kennedy and the Texas governor John Connally.\n\nI went back to Love Field and witnessed the swearing in of Lyndon Johnson, but that weekend, did not cover the funeral. I was working the story from ABC's offices on Connecticut Avenue in Washington and watched the procession as it went by on the way to St. Matthew's Cathedral.\n  Sid Davis\n\nWestinghouse Broadcasting Company, NBC News, witnessed swearing in of Lyndon Johnson\n\n\"What I reported in the pool report were the first words flashed to the world that Lyndon Johnson was sworn in as the thirty-sixth President of the United States.\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy when I began covering the 1960 campaign. I don't recall exactly my first trip out with Kennedy, but I covered Kennedy for most of the 1960 campaign, and I covered Nixon for eight weeks.\n\nThe campaign for the nomination started a few months into 1960. I would follow Kennedy here and there, not on a regular everyday basis. But as the year progressed, I went out more and more with the candidates. And he was one of them. I went to West Virginia to cover the primary. It was key to getting Kennedy the nomination.\n\nBoth the Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis were important to Kennedy's career, important to making him the president he eventually came to be. The attack on the Bay of Pigs was a dreadful mistake. A serious, grievous mistake. An embarrassment to the United States, and a lesson for John F. Kennedy. That Cuban operation took place within a few months after Kennedy became president. It was April of 1961. Kennedy had no role in planning the Bay of Pigs. It was a holdover from Eisenhower. It had been planned by the CIA, and poorly planned. No air support. No ground troops from the United States. Independent observers were very nervous about it, but the CIA assured Kennedy that they could pull it off.\n\nWhat's interesting is that later, President Eisenhower was astonished that Kennedy would undertake the thing. Immediately after the Bay of Pigs disaster, Kennedy looked for cover. He was embarrassed, and of course, the papers were all critical of what he did. So he met with President Eisenhower at Camp David. I went up for the meeting. They allowed us about twenty feet from the two of them as they took a walk. There's a great picture of Eisenhower and Kennedy taking a walk on one of the beautiful paths.\n\nEisenhower questioned Kennedy about how he went into the operation. \"Did you ask how many troops there were? Did you ask about air support? Did you ask that? Did you do this?\" And Kennedy said, \"No\" to every one of the Eisenhower inquiries. Mr. Eisenhower said, in effect, \"How could you have started this thing if you had not asked these questions?\"\n\nWe did not know of this conversation until years later. So, that led me to believe that Eisenhower was not in on the planning for the Bay of Pigs. It was a CIA operation. They obviously were doing it in secret and might have been afraid to bring it before Eisenhower, so they waited until '61 when Eisenhower was gone.\n\nThe Cuban Missile Crisis came a year later and was probably the most fascinating thing I covered, besides the assassination. My recollection of the night JFK addressed the nation, Monday, October 22, is that I was in the Oval Office behind one of the areas where the cameras were when Kennedy walked in to deliver his crisis speech that there were Soviet missiles in Cuba. He entered the room holding a sheaf of papers. He seemed a bit nervous before he went on the air, but as soon as the red camera light flashed, he was very cool, very tough. After the speech, he was surrounded by Ted Sorensen and others. My recollection is that I was the only pool reporter in the room. Pierre Salinger chose me, and I thought, \"Gee, look how fast I've risen.\" Well, the reason they chose me was that every other reporter who had any sense did not want to watch the speech at the White House. They wouldn't get much. They wanted to be at their office typewriters and teletypes, so they could file stories immediately.\n\nThe brilliance of John F. Kennedy was evident and was displayed in its finest detail during the thirteen days of the crisis. His wisdom and his handling of it, a potential conflagration, was brilliant, despite being this young, forty-five year old facing the generals at the National Security Agency and General Curtis LeMay, who was a World War II hero, sitting across the table from JFK. Of course, Kennedy had been a hero in the Navy with his PT boat. The other fortunate thing for Kennedy was that he had his brother in the room. When they say blood is thicker than water, they mean it. Kennedy looked around the room to see who was with him and who was not, and they\u2014the National Security Council\u2014were not entirely with him. But every time JFK looked at his brother Bobby when a question came up, Bobby would shake his head one way or another, usually in disagreement with most of the generals.\n\nThe options were: bomb, invade, blockade. The military people wanted to bomb, and then invade. And Bobby was urging to take the lesser of the more dangerous options. Kennedy held his ground and said, \"No, we'll go for the blockade. It won't be World War Three.\" And when he made his speech on Monday night, the twenty-second of October, the most important paragraph in that speech that caused Khrushchev to cave in was something Khrushchev apparently had never figured on putting missiles in Cuba. In JFK's speech you'll find a paragraph that says, \"It shall be the policy of this nation to regard any nuclear missile launched from Cuba against any nation in the Western Hemisphere as an attack on the United States, requiring a full retaliatory response upon the Soviet Union.\" Brilliant, is the only way I can describe the moment.\n\nThe U.S. would not only target Cuba, it was the entire Soviet Union open to a nuclear attack. At that point Khrushchev is said to have panicked: \"Why didn't we know that this is what they would do?\" But Kennedy put Khrushchev on notice that any action against the United States would be considered an action by the Soviet Union and not by Fidel Castro. I felt that was the most important part of the speech. And then, of course, the Russians started treading water with their ships heading toward Cuba, or turning back, leading to a removal of the missiles in Cuba. The boil had been pierced. The crisis was over.\n\nIn November of 1963, we first went to San Antonio\u2014I still have the press badge\u2014then we went to Houston, then to Fort Worth, then to Dallas and from Dallas, President Kennedy was to go to the LBJ Ranch for a barbeque. The Kennedys were going to spend the night at the ranch, and come back to Washington on Saturday.\n\nI was seven or eight cars behind the presidential limousine, in press bus number one. It was a city bus and probably carried thirty or more people. All reporters. This was mostly the national press. The crowds at the airport were warm and enthusiastic. Very admiring. That's the way it was all the way into town. It was a beautiful day. Jackie had on that beautiful, they called it raspberry-colored, wool suit with the pillbox hat. She was radiant. She was enjoying herself. She had had some serious personal problems in August of that year. They lost a child, two or three days after he was born, Patrick Bouvier Kennedy. So, she was coming out for the first time. We were rounding Elm and Houston streets and that's when the shots rang out. Our press bus, being seven or eight car lengths behind the presidential limousine, would have meant that we were about eighty feet behind JFK. With the presidential limousine being ahead of us that meant that Oswald, leaning out the window of the School Book Depository Building had to fire at an angle. It just so happened that the reason we heard the shots so clearly was because we were right under the window.\n\nSo I got to the hospital and went toward the emergency room area. The top had been put back onto the presidential limousine. But I could see blood on the back seat. I could see the flowers Mrs. Kennedy had carried lying on the back seat. And I could see the suit jacket of Clint Hill, the Secret Service agent, on the seat. He had taken his jacket off to cover the president's head.\n\nBy that time, the Kennedys had been removed and taken inside the hospital. I was told to get upstairs. I tried to get into the emergency room and was thrown out. So I went upstairs, found a telephone, and I called my office. I told them what was going on and filed my story. I had attended the news conference at the hospital at approximately ten after one, Central Standard Time. Kennedy was shot at 12:30. Malcolm Kilduff, the deputy press secretary, who deserves a lot of credit for the way he handled himself that day, told us at a brief news conference that, and I'll never forget the words, \"John F. Kennedy died at one o'clock, Central Standard Time today here in Dallas. He died of a gunshot wound in the brain. I have nothing further to say.\"\n\nSo I ran to the phones, started filing. I filed the story, did some Q & A's and color, and then a White House staffer grabbed me by the shoulder and said, \"We need you immediately. We need a pool.\"\n\nI said, \"I haven't got time. I'm on the air.\"\n\nAnd he said, \"I'm telling you. We're desperate. We need you right now. Tell your office you're coming with me.\"\n\nSo I said, \"Bye.\"\n\nThey raced us out to Love Field in an unmarked police car. About eighty miles an hour. No siren, no nothing. We got to Love Field, and we were told the Secret Service was bringing the casket aboard the airplane. They had removed four seats to get the casket into the rear of the plane. It was a huge casket. It weighed about eight hundred pounds.\n\nWe were brought into the cabin used by JFK as a conference room. Vice President Johnson was already in the compartment. There were a lot of people. The room was humid, sweltering hot. The scene was somber. LBJ was calm, reserved, deliberate, asking people to do certain things as he prepared to take the oath. They brought a federal judge from downtown Dallas, Sarah Hughes. Johnson turned to his secretary, Marie Fehmer, and said, \"Would you ask Mrs. Kennedy if she would like to stand with us?\"\n\nMarie went back to the rear of the plane where the casket was located with Mrs. Kennedy beside it. Marie asked Mrs. Kennedy what the Vice President asked her to do, and Mrs. Kennedy said she would like to attend, but that she needed a few minutes to compose herself.\n\nWe waited a few minutes. We were anxious, because the Secret Service wanted to get the president and the plane out of Dallas immediately. No one knew whether it was a conspiracy or not. In a few minutes, Mrs. Kennedy came into the cabin, and of course, everybody was awestruck. Women and men burst into tears. Jackie came into the room still wearing the same suit with blood on her skirt and stockings. Blood covered her right wrist, where she had held JFK's head. She was obviously in grief, but knew what was going on. She wished to be at the swearing-in ceremony. I think it was very important for her to be at the ceremony. Her presence was and remains a symbol of the nation's unity at this sad time. It took a great deal of courage for her to leave the casket, even if it was for a few minutes.\n\nJohnson placed Mrs. Kennedy to his left, his wife to his right, and told the judge to proceed. The oath took twenty-eight seconds. Only forty-five words.\n\nOne of the three of us had to brief the rest of the press still in downtown Dallas. I was told there were only two seats on the airplane back to Washington. And that I would have to flip a coin to see who would stay\u2014me or Chuck Roberts, the Newsweek reporter. Merriman Smith, because he was a wire service reporter, was entitled to one of the two seats. And the other seat could go to Chuck or myself. And I said, \"Chuck, I'm not going to flip for the seat, I'm going to get off and give the pool report.\"\n\nIn all selfishness, if I gave the pool report at Love Field, I could then file my own story with my office, and have an eyewitness account of the swearing in of the new president. If I had stayed on the airplane unable to file, I would have been airborne for almost three hours, and my office would have been waiting. And would not have heard from me until I had arrived back in Washington. It served me well in that I got to file my own eyewitness account that no one else had. What I reported in the pool report were the first words flashed to the world that Lyndon Johnson was sworn in as the thirty-sixth president of the United States.\n\nLBJ's behavior was magnificent. There have been stories to the contrary. It's baloney. Not true at all. Lyndon Johnson was calm. He was respectful to the Kennedy family. He understood the gravity of the situation. And his behavior for the next few months and years on behalf of the country and the Kennedys was magnificent. It was among LBJ's finest hours. He knew what to do. He brought a grieving nation together. And he would be exemplary in the civil rights bills and social welfare legislation he got approved, including voting rights and Medicare.\n\nThe Pan Am press charter took off about 9 or 10 o'clock. We arrived in Washington at about one in the morning, I went right to the White House, and I was asked to broadcast the arrival of the casket following an autopsy at Bethesda Naval Hospital. It took what seemed forever. I went on the air somewhere around four o'clock, Saturday morning, November 23. There were about three hundred or four hundred diligent, curious people outside the White House gates peering in. The body was brought to the North Portico in a Navy ambulance. Mrs. Kennedy did not want the body in a hearse.\n\nSmall kerosene lanterns were placed along either side of the driveway. It was an eerie and sad scene, but so appropriate. The leaves had fallen off the trees. It was late November. A chill cooled the night; temperature somewhere in the forties. The ambulance moved very slowly. An honor guard marched ahead of the ambulance in funeral cadence, slowly stepping up the driveway. I could see Mrs. Kennedy through the ambulance's window, sitting with the casket. Stoic, somber. She had helped make some of these arrangements. Closing the broadcast, I made the mistake of trying to quote poet Robert Frost. Frost was Kennedy's favorite poet. He had spoken at Kennedy's inauguration. And Kennedy used to quote from Robert Frost during the 1960 campaign, \"Walking By Woods On a Snowy Evening.\" It closes with, \"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.\"\n\nI tried to repeat those words as a tribute, and I didn't get through it. I cracked up on the air. What amazes me is how many people across the country heard me at four-thirty in the morning breaking down and wrote me letters. Very kind people. Some of them were college classmates I hadn't seen for years.\n\nFor the weekend, I covered everything that had to do with the White House. I stayed at the White House through the following Monday.\n\nI didn't see animosity between the Kennedy and LBJ staffs. You could understand the sadness of the Kennedy people. They had just lost their hero. They campaigned with him. They took him to the presidency. And they had such an exciting future to look forward to in running the country. But it all went away. It was destroyed by one guy with a $14.95 rifle.\n\nJFK left a promising legacy. In education, the arts, in Head Start for children. He was planning civil rights legislation that probably would have been tough to get approved were it not for Lyndon Johnson. It would have been tougher for Kennedy. Johnson, a Southerner, was able to break down barriers. He was a master parliamentarian, probably the best among all our presidents.\n\nI think Kennedy's presidency left a remarkable legacy. The Cuban Missile Crisis changed our relationship with the Soviet Union, leading to a nuclear test ban treaty. JFK's remarks in his inaugural speech, \"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country,\" still reverberate.\n\nKennedy was intelligent, witty, and sensitive. He and Mrs. Kennedy were as glamorous as the famous of Hollywood. Because he was in office only two and a half years, he did not have time to fulfill the great agenda he had hoped for. But his vision of America's greatness is lasting.\n  Nicholas Gage\n\nWriter for The New York Times and other publications, author\n\n\"Kennedy was a groundbreaker in many ways. First, he was the first non-WASP to be elected president.... I don't think Obama would be there today if Kennedy had not opened the way.\"\n\nI met John Kennedy in 1963 when I won the Hearst Foundation National Journalism Award. It was a tremendously inspiring experience for me, because I had come to the United States fourteen years earlier without knowing a word of English and eventually won this national prize for the best published writing by a college student. It was presented at the White House by the president of the United States. It made me feel that anything was possible in this great country.\n\nExcerpt from A Place for Us by Nicholas Gage \u00a9 1989 (Used with author's permission):\n\nWe were ushered into a richly decorated waiting room and then joined by Kenneth O'Donnell, the president's director of appointments. Finally he said, \"The president is ready to see you now,\" and led us into the Oval Office.\n\nI blinked in the bright sunlight and saw the imposing figure of John Kennedy standing in front of his desk, holding out his hands in greeting. Then I heard a commotion, and turned around to discover several dozen reporters with cameras and microphones pointed toward us. They were all shouting, flashing light bulbs, waving, and calling to me as if I were Cary Grant disembarking from the Queen Elizabeth II: \"Look this way, Mr. Gage\"; \"Smile, please\"; \"How do you feel, meeting the president?\"\n\nAfter posing until the photographers were satisfied, Kennedy shooed most of them out of the room and spoke to each of us individually. He was relaxed and seemed to be enjoying himself, perhaps because his first job after leaving the Navy had been as a reporter for the Hearst Corporation, and he enjoyed the company of journalists and Randolph Hearst. He obviously had been briefed on our backgrounds, and made much of the fact that he and I were both from Massachusetts. \"You're getting a great start with this award,\" he said to me. \"You're obviously a much better reporter than I was. I was pretty bad, wasn't I, Randolph?\"\n\nHearst told him briefly how I had come to America as a war refugee and managed to learn English, enter journalism school, and work my way through college with a combination of academic scholarships and part-time jobs.\n\n\"And you're doing all this so you can become a reporter?\" Kennedy asked. \"Why do you want to be a newspaperman?\"\n\n\"Just a masochist, I guess,\" I answered, because I couldn't think of any way to encapsulate all my reasons in a few words.\n\nEveryone laughed as if this was a pearl of wit, and it was widely quoted in the newspapers the next day. The quarter-hour we spent in the Oval Office passed in an instant.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, only six months after my visit to the White House, I was studying for my master's degree at Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism. We were in a class and one of the students came in and said, \"President Kennedy's been shot and they've taken him to the hospital.\"\n\nWe all got up and rushed to the Teletype machine. We read with great horror that he had been killed. All of us were stunned. We stopped whatever we were doing. A group of us went to a local bar to try to drink, but I couldn't even swallow. We thought the whole world had collapsed. There is no tragedy that does not produce something positive. I wound up marrying (one girl with us)\u2014Joan Paulson\u2014and we are still married forty-two years later. When the news came over the teletype machine, she tore off the story and still has it.\n\nI watched the news that weekend with Cronkite and read Tom Wicker's stories in The Times. Later, Wicker came and spoke to our class, and subsequently, I worked with him at The Times as an investigative reporter.\n\nKennedy was a groundbreaker in many ways. First, he was the first non-WASP to be elected president. He opened up the possibilities for other Americans to become president. I don't think Obama would be there today if Kennedy had not opened the way. Second, he generated optimism. Historians would say that other presidents accomplished more in similar periods, but I don't think anyone created such a feeling of optimism and well-being in the country as Kennedy, at least in the sixty years I've lived in this country.\n\nAnd the way he stood up to the Soviet Union showed his fierce opposition to authoritarianism. I was a refugee from the Communist civil war in Greece, where the Communists executed my mother for arranging the escape of her children so they wouldn't be taken to indoctrination camps behind the Iron Curtain. Kennedy was someone who had the right values, and he projected those onto the nation and world.\n  Bob Jackson\n\nDallas Times-Herald, captured Pulitzer Prize\u2013winning image of Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald\n\n\"All of a sudden someone (Jack Ruby) stepped out from the right, and the thought flashed in my mind, 'He's blocking my view!'\"\n\nON November 22, my assignment was to go with our chief photographer, John Mazziotta, to photograph the arrival (of the president and Mrs. Kennedy at Love Field). I got some good pictures of them there. It was kind of a struggle. He decided to go over to the fence and greet people. It gave us a good photo op. We (myself and the other photographers) were kind of jammed in there, and as he moved along the fence, we had to back up and step on each other.\n\nI was in the eighth car behind the president. It was a convertible, and we were sitting up on the back of the back seat. Tom Dillard, chief photographer of the Dallas News, was sitting next to me. I had an engraved invitation to his luncheon (at the Dallas Trade Mart) where he was to speak. That event was the rest of my assignment.\n\n(Later) we had gotten around the corner and we heard the first shot. Then two more shots closer together. We were facing the Texas School Book Depository Building. I looked up there and there was a rifle on the window ledge. And I could see it being drawn in. And I said, \"There's a rifle!\"\n\nDillard said, \"Where?\"\n\nAnd I pointed out the empty window to him. Of course, he took a picture of that. I have an empty camera in my lap and wondering when I should try to reload it. On the Nikons in those days, the back wasn't hinged. You had to take the back off the camera, put the film in, and stick the back of the camera back on. That made it hard. The car was moving, and I didn't want to drop the back off the camera and lose it. So I wasn't able to do anything just then. So as we got to the corner (in front of the building), I just looked at the scene off to my left: the grassy knoll, people covering up their kids; people running. I saw the president's car disappear under the overpass and then Johnson's car. A cop rode his motorcycle up the slope of the grassy knoll; he jumped off, and the motorcycle kept going until it fell over. And he ran to the door of the building and another policeman joined him there. They went inside.\n\nI soon found out the president had been hit.\n\nI saw that the traffic, which had been held up at the corner of Houston and Elm, the police are letting the drivers go. So the traffic is coming toward me, over the evidence, any evidence that happened to be there. And I thought, \"Why are they (police) letting these cars down there?\"\n\nTwo other photographers and I flagged down a car. We told this lady we needed to go to the hospital. We got into her car\u2014just about the point where Kennedy had been hit. She pulled onto the on-ramp on the Stemmons Freeway, and a motorcycle cop was there, stopping traffic and checking everyone. We explained who we were and that we needed to get to the hospital. At that point, I overheard a conversation on the officer's radio, and someone said, \"But we don't know where the shots came from.\" And I said, \"Hey, I know where the shots came from.\" So he took my name and my phone number at the newspaper and let us go.\n\n(The driver) took us to the hospital. But, because I had not stayed in the motorcade, I did not have the access I could have had. I was kept back with the crowd behind the hospital's emergency entrance. In the meantime, I heard on another police radio that an officer is down in Oak Cliff. I remember commenting to someone, \"I wonder if that has anything to do with what just happened?\" But then I thought, \"Surely not, because whoever did that (the shooting of the president) is in custody.\" Sure enough, that's what it turned out to be.\n\nSometime between one o'clock and one-thirty, we got the announcement the president had died. The word spread outside soon after it was announced inside. I never got inside the hospital; never needed to, really\n\nEventually I got back to the newspaper office. To this day, I don't remember how I got there. I ran my film, and eventually I went to the Dallas Police Station, and I was there into the night. I was able to shoot images of the police bringing (Lee Harvey) Oswald down the hall. I also shot images of his wife Marina and his mother Marguerite. If I had known then what was going to happen Sunday morning, I would have shot images of everything I possibly could in the hallway. If nothing else, for the record. Jack Ruby was there as well.\n\nAt one point on Friday night, I wormed my way between Marina and Marguerite and the elevator door and I got several frames, including one really good close-up of their faces, showing the strain on them. I was tempted to just back into the elevator when the doors opened, but I realized there was no way the police would allow me to do that. But I thought about it.\n\nOn Sunday morning, November 24, we had one photographer stationed at the county jail awaiting Oswald's arrival there. I was the \"Sunday man\" on duty and the other photographer called me on Saturday night asking if I would cover the transfer of Oswald at the Dallas Police Department. I said, \"Sure.\" I knew I would be at the police department and thought, \"What if somebody makes an attempt on his life? What if something happens? What if he (Oswald) never gets to the county jail? What if... ?\"\n\nThe other photographer wanted to be at the county jail, where people had been putting hundreds of flowers at the entrance, and he probably was thinking in the back of his mind, \"That's the place for the picture.\" And it was! If Oswald had made it there.\n\nSo finally, the police said, \"We're bringing him (Oswald) down in about five minutes, so you have five minutes to get in position. We don't want anybody moving around when he appears.\" So I picked my spot which gave me a clear shot. I pre-focused the camera at about eleven feet. I must have checked it ten times! I expected it would be a pretty routine shot. It's a matter of the police escorting the prisoner toward you. Except in this case, it was a little more historic.\n\nAll of a sudden someone (Jack Ruby) stepped out from the right, and the thought flashed in my mind, \"He's blocking my view!\" At the same time, the car to take Oswald was backing up. It already should have been in place. I remember leaning against the fender at the time it (the car) stopped. I was leaning a bit to my left because this person (Ruby) on the right was coming out. All of this, of course, was quick. Instantaneous. He (Jack Ruby) took a few steps and \"bang.\"\n\nAnd I punched the shutter at the right time. It could not have come together any better. I could not have planned it any better. It just happened and I guess it was meant to be.\n\nAfter the shooting it was pandemonium. One cop ran over the car\u2014from the hood to the trunk\u2014and jumped into the pile. The next thing I know is that I am being shoved back by a plainclothes detective and I remember saying, \"Get your hand off my camera!\" He was really upset, and another policeman next to him had to calm him down.\n\nWe waited until they brought the ambulance in\u2014about five minutes. I was able to get a lucky shot when they put him (Oswald) into the back of the ambulance. I was holding my camera in the air and pointing it down. His shirt was pulled up and there was no blood. The bullet was lodged inside him.\n\nIn the spring of 1964, when the Pulitzer Prizes were announced no one in the newsroom broke out the champagne. It was the newspaper's first Pulitzer. The photo didn't really change my life. I got a twenty-five dollar a week raise. And it made getting another job easier. I never had to show a portfolio again.\n\nJohn Kennedy's legacy? I guess it's the space program and how he pushed for that. I was not a Kennedy lover. My family were Eisenhower Democrats. I was not into politics in 1963, and so I can't rave and rant about what a wonderful person he was. He was certainly charismatic and he brought the presidency closer to the people.\n\nHe was tough. Look at what he went through in the Pacific. I've read the account of the PT 109 sinking and that certainly prepared him for politics and for running the country, for going through crises, like the Vietnam War. He was an interesting character and I certainly think a lot more of him than I do of his younger brother Teddy.\n  Marianne Means\n\nWriter for Hearst newspapers\n\n\"He wasn't simple. You couldn't see through him. He had his own thoughts in his own head and he had his own stuff.\"\n\nMY husband (then boyfriend) was the head of the student foreign affairs group (at University of Nebraska). We got ourselves assigned to go down and pick up (Senator) Kennedy and Ted Sorensen at the airport, because we had arranged for him (JFK) to come. He was a hot ticket then. He was (being considered as) a vice presidential candidate. So, we sat around at the airport, picked him up, talked to him on the way to school, and then, when we got back to the airport (after JFK's speech), the plane was late, of course, so we sat around and talked some more. We talked about how we, and I in particular, wanted to go into journalism. And he (JFK) said, \"Well, when you come to Washington, look me up.\"\n\nBeing na\u00efve, I took him at his word.\n\nMy boyfriend (and later husband) and I came to Washington. I knew three people on Capitol Hill who turned out to be very useful. One was John Kennedy, one was Ted Sorenson, and one was Evelyn Lincoln, who was his (JFK's) secretary. (Sorenson and Lincoln) were from Nebraska and being from Nebraska was a big asset.\n\nJohn Kennedy was engaging. He was charming. He didn't know what to do with me, so he transferred me to Sorenson. And then to Evelyn. I ended up as an executive assistant to the editor of Broadcasting magazine. It turns out I was his secretary and I hated it. But one of the guys there told me about an opening at the Northern Virginia Sun, and I worked there as the woman's editor. That was the only job they were willing to offer me at the time. Kennedy got elected and (several staff members) left and went into the (new) administration.\n\nI met the bureau chief of the Hearst papers. He was allowed to hire two reporters, and he picked two non-threatening people\u2014the son of a friend of his and me. So that's when I started working at the Hearst papers and that's where I felt comfortable for the rest of my career, almost fifty years with Hearst.\n\n(Kennedy) was the first president I had ever covered, and I had nobody to judge him against. I watched him. He muffed the Bay of Pigs, obviously. He had to live with that; it was his big mistake. But the rest, he did very well. Of course, he really didn't have much experience. He had been in the Senate, but nobody really knows until you're there (in the presidency). He was always so self-confident, in public, and when I was around. He was always genial, confident, and comfortable.\n\nThere was the trip to Vienna to meet Khrushchev which turned out to be a disaster. (Press Secretary Pierre) Salinger lied to us about the meeting, claiming it went well. I also went to Germany when he made his \"Ich bin ein Berliner\" speech. It was very emotional. Huge crowds had gathered to see him, waving hankies and flags. Then we went to Latin America for a conference. Huge crowds.\n\nAnd I went to Dallas.\n\nI was in the first press bus. Smitty (UPI's Merriman Smith) and Jack Bell of the Associated Press were in the car behind him (and Vice President Johnson). I was in the front seat of that press bus. And I remember hearing the shots, but I didn't know what a rifle shot sounded like.\n\nBut one of the guys, I think it was Bob Pierpoint (of CBS News), said, \"Those are rifle shots. I'm leaving.\" All the motion was on the grassy knoll. People were falling on their children because everybody thought the shots were aimed at the grassy knoll because they came from the (Texas School Book Depository) Building. Another thing we did not know was whether this was a mass conspiracy by the Soviets. We were deep in the Cold War then, and the Secret Service had to get Johnson out of there.\n\nThe second car, which had Johnson and Ralph Yarborough, sped ahead. So the cars sped ahead rapidly, and we could see what was happening, but we didn't know a damn thing. I remember everyone else in the press corps turning and running toward whatever transportation they could find. We had proceeded on to the Trade Mart because we didn't know what else to do. Of course we got there and there was not a sign of Kennedy.\n\nI got into a car with a couple of other guys. I was one of the first to get (to Parkland Hospital). Everybody was milling around, not knowing anything. But Yarborough and (Congressman Jack) Brooks were standing outside the hospital crying. We knew this was bad.\n\nSo we had to hang around until finally Mac (Malcolm) Kilduff (Deputy Press Secretary) came out and told us what to do and where we were to go and to sit in a certain room, and we went like the sheep we were. Kilduff came in and told us (JFK was dead), then we all had to go find phones. And I was fighting over a phone with some nurse at a desk. And I said, unfortunately, \"This is all Goldwater's fault.\" And she got very mad at me. We were all so damn emotional.\n\nWe were gathered there (at Parkland) and they wouldn't let us out until Johnson and the casket had gone to the airport. All because they thought it might be a Soviet plot.\n\nThe press plane was sitting at the airport, and Air Force One was sitting at the airport\u2014both were highly guarded. So, with all our press credentials and so forth, they wanted us out of the way. They hustled us to the (press) plane. And gave us Bloody Marys and things to calm us down.\n\nSome people were crying. Mostly me.\n\nWhen they went (the passengers on Air Force One), then we went. We all went to Andrews (Air Force Base) and went our merry ways. My boss said, \"I'll see you at the office.\" Click. (Over the next three days) it was very traumatic. It's all kind of a blur.\n\nHis brothers knew him well. And maybe a few of his old buddies, like Red Faye (friend from PT boat training in WWII; later appointed by JFK to serve as Undersecretary of the Navy). Certainly nobody like me. Presidents become very private. Once they become elected, they (presidents) don't know whom to trust. So they tend to trust the people they knew before they became presidents.\n\nHe (JFK) wasn't simple. You couldn't see through him. He had his own thoughts in his own head and he had his own stuff. He wasn't simple. No president is, including Barack Obama.\n\nHe lifted the spirits of the country. He came in after Eisenhower, who had been going along, treading along in the old, tired ways, rehashing World War II, and so forth. He was young and vibrant. And Jackie was gorgeous. He filled the city (Washington) and the country with new hope. And that's why it was so devastating when he died.\n\nCovering JFK consolidated my reputation in the Hearst Corporation\u2014that a young woman could actually handle all this. And that was important. There were no examples to follow; we had to cut our own way. It's inspiring to cover a president as a young journalist. You know his inner circle. You get all this inside information. And you can handle it well. It was inspiring and it was much fun.\n  Michael Medved\n\nAuthor, syndicated radio show host, commentator\n\n\"Everyone was screaming and you didn't know why. But you did know why... It was an echo of November 22, 1963. The screams that night seemed to have started in Dallas.\"\n\nI first saw John Kennedy in October of 1960. I was twelve years old, and my parents allowed me to cut school from Dana Junior High School in San Diego where we lived. Senator Kennedy came to San Diego for a midday rally at Horton Plaza. I got there early, so I was up close, the front row, maybe one row back. When he came out to speak it was very exciting. There are, of course, two things you remember. First, his hair. At the time, his hair was famous. It was much fairer than what you saw on black and white TV. On TV, his hair looked dark. It was actually a sandy, light brown color. And second, he was slender, really slender. As we all know, television adds weight to a person.\n\nI saw him again in 1962 in San Diego, when he delivered a speech at San Diego State College. My dad taught at San Diego State. I was a huge Kennedy enthusiast. And I recently found my notebook from that period. It has a very carefully hand-lettered \"Kennedy for President\" message on it. Of course, I spelled his name wrong\u2014\"Kenedy.\" I was a political geek as a kid.\n\nIn my book, The Shadow Presidents, my chapter on Jack Kennedy was based on the wonderful cooperation of Ted Sorensen. Writing that book\u2014and the interviews I did with extraordinary people like Sherman Adams, Clark Clifford, and Dick Cheney\u2014made me a Republican. Sorensen, for the rest of his life, continued to feel hero worship for John Kennedy. I'm very positive toward Sorensen; he was a very effective aide to JFK. But the Jack Kennedy whom Ted Sorensen described did not come off well at all. I was struck by the detail that I had never heard before. Like the fact that Kennedy never carried money, or a wallet for that matter, so when it came to meals, drinks, and other expenses, Sorensen and other staff members were expected to shell out for everything.\n\nI don't think Jack Kennedy deserved the adulation he received\u2014and still receives\u2014from the American public. It always stuns me that polls of our greatest presidents rank Kennedy quite high. In some of the recent polling, Kennedy is placed at the top of the list as the greatest president we've ever had.\n\nKennedy relied on Sorensen in a different way than other presidents have relied on their chief aides. The funny thing about the Kennedy Administration is that so much was based on imposture. I learned this for the first time from Sorensen. Part of my youthful hero worship of John Kennedy had been based on the idea that, \"Oh, the Eisenhower Administration was that of a really old, dumb guy.\" Rather, with Kennedy, there was this image that he loved culture, as demonstrated by having cellist Pablo Casals perform at the White House. I learned from Sorensen that John Kennedy did not like classical music. In fact, he fell asleep during the concert. He liked Sinatra. There's nothing wrong with that. But that was part of the imposture.\n\nMost striking about the Kennedy inner-circle is that everybody was part of this grand imposture, such as conveying the idea that Kennedy was a devout Catholic. Not. And that he was mad crazy in love with his beautiful wife. And was an ideal family man. And was the picture of health. It just wasn't true, but the American people were led to believe it all was.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was a junior at Palisades High School in class and an announcement came on the PA system. The initial announcement by the principal was that the president had been shot and wounded, and he had been taken to a hospital. The implication was that he was going to be OK. For the rest of the day, there was not a lot of school work getting done. It was shortly afterward that the announcement came through that the president had died\u2014and it was that announcement that produced gasps, tears, and hysteria.\n\nI remember I got a ride home that day from Jean Hernandez, the English teacher who was closest to me at the time. She was compassionate because I was so upset; she commented that it was a terrible time for our country. Like a lot of people, my parents initially thought that because it occurred in Dallas, the assassination must have been associated with the far right and segregationists. The assumption was that there were dark forces at work in our country.\n\nMy fascination with the presidency\u2014what presidents could do, presidential greatness\u2014was all tied up with John Kennedy. I have one of those flashing campaign buttons with that fabulous profile of him, and on the other side, it reads, \"A time for greatness.\" I used to do Kennedy impersonations. I saved for and bought Vaughn Meader's album \"The First Family.\" It was a huge bestseller. I tried to emulate John Kennedy, but of course, I could not. I admired him, and the whole idea of the Peace Corps, public service. The line \"Ask not what your country can do for you...\" in the inaugural address... I was a textbook example of someone who was completely taken up with that.\n\nToday, I'm torn about John Kennedy's legacy. In the conservative world in which I function, it's become commonplace to suggest that John Kennedy would be a Republican today. He was pro-tax cuts. He clearly was pro-business. And he supported a strong defense, and he had a strong foreign policy. But it's tough to ignore his support for New Deal notions and his advocacy of Medicare and other dramatic expansions of government.\n\nThe question of his legacy is complicated. On one hand, part of his legacy was reinvigorating the competitive juices in the United States, making the nation feel more zesty and youthful, his call to American greatness. I think that was positive for the country, but it unfortunately involved a denigration of the previous two terms of Ike. In truth, any contrast between Kennedy and Eisenhower\u2014except the ability to impress people on TV\u2014shows Eisenhower as a greater, more successful president. Of course, Eisenhower never had the favorable congressional dispensation that Kennedy had. Kennedy was not in office long enough. But the Kennedy-Eisenhower contrast between style and substance as a national leader changes my outlook substantially. Eisenhower clearly wins over Kennedy.\n\nI was a junior in college during Robert Kennedy's presidential campaign. I got a leave of absence from Yale and went to work in the California primary. I was there at the Ambassador Hotel and was right in front of the podium. I'm heard at the end of his speech yelling, \"We love you, Bobby!\"\n\nThen, of course, he went into the kitchen, and you couldn't see anything and you really couldn't hear. The kitchen was too far away. Then, there was a scream. It started in the kitchen, moved into the front of the hall, then to the back of the hall, then back again. It was one, long wail.\n\nEveryone was screaming and you didn't know why. But you did know why. Everyone knew what had happened. You didn't have to be told. It was an echo of November 22, 1963. The screams that night seemed to have started in Dallas.\n  Al Neuharth\n\nAuthor, founder of USA Today, the Freedom Forum, and the Newseum\n\n\"Kennedy congratulated (the Mercury Seven astronauts) and then said, 'Do you guys think we can go to the moon and back in this decade?' (Alan) Shepard said they all looked at each other and exclaimed, 'Sure!'... Then they left and got together for a beer and said to each other, 'Is he nuts?'\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy when he was in the Senate in the mid-fifties. I was in the Washington bureau for the Miami Herald, part of the Knight News organization. I covered him, though I did not get to know him very well. I thought he was a smart, cocky, young guy. When we met with senators\u2014either individually or in groups\u2014some stood out and some didn't. He was certainly one who stood out because he was a bright guy.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was in Palm Beach Florida attending the Inter-American Press Association convention. He had spoken to that group earlier that week before he went to Dallas. In that address, he did a good job of relating to the members of the association, which included leading people from Latin America, as well as the United States. I don't recall any specifics of the speech, but I do know that he was a hit.\n\nWe all just kept our eyes and ears on Walter Cronkite. My recollection of Cronkite and the TV coverage is much clearer than any newspaper coverage of the assassination. It was all intrigue and sticking to the tube until Cronkite told us he was dead.\n\nJohn Kennedy was a visionary and he was politically astute. My clearest memory of him is in connection with the space program. I was friends with all the original astronauts. I had started a magazine called Florida Today and was up at Cape Canaveral quite a bit for the launches, including the first one Alan Shepard rode up in. Later, when John Glenn made his orbit, Kennedy had the astronauts to the White House. Shepard often told the story that Kennedy congratulated them for what already had been done and then he said, \"Do you guys think we can go to the moon and back in this decade?\"\n\nShepard said they all looked at each other and exclaimed, \"Sure!\" So they talked about it some more and assured him of their interest in that program. Then they left and got together for a beer and said to each other, \"Is he nuts?\" Because none of them believed we would be in a position to do that. They hoped it could happen, but none of them thought it could.\n\nI don't know that I could say I was influenced by John Kennedy. I was certainly impressed by him. I like to think I was not too influenced by any public official. But I was impressed by him as much\u2014if not more\u2014than any other president. Maybe Eisenhower might be slightly ahead of Kennedy.\n\nWhat is John Kennedy's legacy? I am a bit prejudiced, being a Space Coast guy. His space program impressed me more than anything else he did. But today, decades later, it sure as hell is being compromised significantly.\n  Bob Schieffer\n\nCBS News\n\n\"I've always had this theory that the most successful politicians are the ones who master the dominant medium of their time.... He changed the presidency forever. I still think nobody has mastered it quite the way he did.\"\n\nI never met John Kennedy, but my brother, who was in high school at the time, went down to the Hotel Texas (on the morning of November 22) and stood outside. When (Kennedy) came out to greet the crowds, he actually shook hands with the president. He was one of the last people in Fort Worth to do so, just because he happened to be standing close to the limousine.\n\nMy wife\u2014we were not married at the time\u2014and her father attended the breakfast that morning (where JFK spoke). She heard the president, she heard Lyndon Johnson, and she saw Jackie Kennedy when she came in and the president remarked, \"Nobody wonders what Lyndon and I wear.\"\n\nMy wife's father was a big Democrat. He had been a big supporter of John Connally. In fact, when she was growing up, John Connally lived across the street from her family.\n\nThe night before was such a big night in Fort Worth, but I was in a bad humor. I was the night police reporter at the Star-Telegram. There's nothing like having a big story in your town, and you're not a part of it. I had asked if I could cover it (JFK's visit) and the editors said, \"No,\" that the political reporters and the chief of our Austin bureau would be doing the story. Kennedy came to town and got this overwhelming welcome. He landed at Carswell Air Force Base, and ten thousand people showed up that night just to see him and Air Force One, and then the president motored into town to the Texas Hotel.\n\nWe had decided to keep the press club open beyond closing time for all the members of the White House Press Corps. To us local reporters, these were celebrities. Presidents didn't travel that much in those days. There was this \"coffee house\"\u2014an after-hours joint. I didn't get off work until three in the morning and I would often go down there. I was a well-known figure there. A lot of evenings, the night city editor and I would go there. They served coffee, but if you were a friend of the owner, they served you this Kool-Aid spiked with grain alcohol. They gave it away. It's a wonder it didn't kill us all. His place was well known. This was in the days when San Francisco was the headquarters for the beatniks\u2014Allan Ginsberg and the counter-culture. Fort Worth felt like it was on the cutting edge because we had our own \"coffee house.\" The waitresses wore underwear; that was their costumes. By today's standards, their outfits would be seen as bikinis.\n\nIt had quite a reputation, and some of these White House reporters had heard of it and told us, \"What is this thing? We've got to see this!\"\n\nSo Phil Record, the city editor, and I, we led a delegation down to this place from the press club a couple of blocks away. There were also some Secret Service guys there, too. I will preface this: If they were drinking, I never saw it. I don't think they were, quite frankly. But, of course, they were all off duty. My group\u2014the White House Press Corps\u2014stayed until after the sun rose. And we did have a few drinks. And we all had a fine time and then we all went home (or back to hotels).\n\nThat's why I was sound asleep the next day when my brother woke me up. I had not been asleep all that long, I was in a total fog, and he told me, \"You'd better get up. The president's been shot.\" I didn't believe it. At that time, we did not have all these horrible school shootings and these other violent incidents. We didn't know what had happened.\n\nExcerpt from This Just In: What I Couldn't Tell You on TV, by Bob Schieffer, \u00a9 2003 (Used with author's permission):\n\nI got dressed as fast as I could, grabbed my black felt snap-brim Dick Tracy hat, and roared off in my two-seater Triumph TR-4 sports car. As I parked in the lot of the Star-Telegram office, the radio confirmed the worst: The president was dead. It was as if someone had hit me with a hammer. At once, I was stunned, hurt and embarrassed. Stunned, because such violence was unthinkable in those days; hurt and embarrassed, because it had happed in our home state. Why did something like this have to happen and why did it have to happen in Texas?\n\n...When I got back to the city room, the confusion was worse than ever.... I hadn't even removed my hat when I settled behind a typewriter and picked up one of the ringing telephones. In all my years as a reporter, I would never again receive a call like that one. A woman's voice asked if we could spare anyone to give her a ride to Dallas.\n\n\"Lady,\" I said, \"this is not a taxi, and besides, the president has been shot.\"\n\n\"I know,\" she said. \"They think my son is the one who shot him.\"\n\nIt was the mother of Lee Harvey Oswald, and she had heard on the radio of her son's arrest.\n\n\"Where do you live?\" I blurted out.\"I'll be right over to get you...\"\n\nThe fact that Lee Harvey Oswald's mother called, everybody thought it was unusual, but not that unusual. The local newspaper was so much a part of the community.\n\nExcerpt from This Just In: What I Couldn't Tell You on TV, by Bob Schieffer, \u00a9 2003 (Used with author's permission):\n\nThe drive to Dallas took about an hour, and when we reached the police station, Bill (Foster, the newspaper's automotive editor) let us out and said he would join us later once he parked the car. Hundreds of reporters had converged on the station, most of them in a hallway where the detective offices were located. Since I was wearing the Dick Tracy hat, it was easy for me to pass for a plainclothesman. There was a uniformed cop behind a counter in one of the offices so I approached him and said, \"I'm the one who brought Oswald's mother over from Fort Worth. Is there someplace she can stay where she won't be bothered by all these reporters?\"\n\nThe officer guided us to a small space that seemed to be some kind of interrogation room and said, \"How's this?\" I said thanks, and settled Mrs. Oswald in and went into the hallway to see if I could help our guys.... Never once did anyone ask who I was. As the evening wore on, Oswald's wife was brought to the police station and an officer asked me if we would mind if they let her share the room. I told them I saw no problem...\n\nToward dark, Oswald's mother asked Detective Captain Will Fritz if they could visit Oswald. Fritz agreed, and led us into a holding room below the jail. The group included Oswald's wife, his mother, an FBI agent and me. I would soon be face-to-face with the man who was being charged with killing our president. Whatever Oswald said, this would have to be the story of a lifetime... We had only been there a few minutes, but to me it seemed like an eternity and I could feel my heart beginning to beat faster, when the FBI agent casually asked, \"And who are you with?\"\n\nI had watched veteran interrogators bluff their way with a suspect by answering a question with a question, and with my best imitation I sort of half snarled, \"Well, who are you with?\"\n\nThe agent seemed a little edgy now. \"Are you a reporter?\"\n\nNow I was really pushing it: \"Well, aren't you?\"\n\nIt was at this point that I believe I received my first official death threat. The embarrassed agent said he would kill me if he ever saw me again. Or at least that seemed to be what he was saying.\n\nI was already leaving as he said it.\n\nIt would be the biggest story I almost got but didn't, and I went back to the crowded corridor and blended with the rest of the reporters. For the next two days, I would just be part of the crowd.\n\nTruth be told, covering this story did not really boost my career. I was in Dallas. I wrote some stories about it. What really changed my career was when I went to Vietnam in 1965. That was the turning point.\n\nJack Kennedy figured out how to use television. I've always had this theory that the most successful politicians are the ones who master the dominant medium of their time. The founders were all great writers and that's how people got their news in those days. They got it in the written word. Franklin Roosevelt was the first politician to really understand radio. Before he came along, when a politician would be on the radio, he would speak as if he were addressing a crowd of forty thousand people at Madison Square Garden. Roosevelt figured out there would be three or four people sitting around the kitchen table or the living room listening to the radio and he spoke directly to them. He was so effective.\n\nTelevision came along and Eisenhower didn't understand it, didn't know what to do with it. He held news conferences, but they were so afraid he might say something untoward or start World War III that they never broadcast his news conferences until his press secretary, Jim Haggerty, reviewed the transcript.\n\nKennedy came along and he had this great wit and verve. He was so good. He changed the presidency forever. His mastery of television. The way he could answer questions off the cuff. They were broadcast live. I still think nobody has mastered it quite the way he did. It's hard to say anyone was better on television than Ronald Reagan. But Kennedy could do the interview. He could do the press conference. He could make a speech. He was just better at all of it.\n\nTelevision is no longer the dominant medium. We don't know where people get their news now. Television is still a powerful force, there's no doubt about that. When you add up the total number of people who watch the (network) evening news every night, it is still a very large group\u2014probably thirty million people. There were nearly sixty million people who watched the debate I moderated last year. We do three or three and a half million every Sunday morning on Face the Nation. Television is still influential, but when we start our evening news now, we assume that most of the people turning it on already know what the news is. They've heard it on the radio; they've gotten it on the Internet; they've gotten it on cable. So you can't say anymore that television is the dominant medium. Everything has changed. The whole communications revolution. We don't know where it's going, but we're dealing with a totally different world. It's 24\/7.\n\nThe good news about Twitter and other social media is that you no longer need a charismatic leader to lead a revolution, as we saw in Egypt. The bad news is that all the nuts now know where other nuts are, and they can find validation in their cause, no matter how bizarre.\n\nKennedy set a tone and a style for the presidency. He brought glamour to the presidency. He made a lot of young people want to take part in public service and serve their country. But the fact is, he was not there for very long, and as far as his accomplishments, they were not extensive. The person who got the most done was Lyndon Johnson. Perhaps, Johnson would not have been able to do it if it had not been for Kennedy's death. He (Johnson) got the civil rights programs passed. Had it not been for Vietnam where he made a mistake, he would have been remembered as one of our great presidents.\n\nKennedy's brother Bobby really disliked Lyndon Johnson. He didn't want (Johnson) on the ticket in the first place. They (RFK and LBJ) never healed that breach. They (JFK and RFK) didn't treat Lyndon Johnson very well as vice president for whatever the reasons, but it was Johnson who got done what Kennedy proposed.\n  Sanford Socolow\n\nCBS News\n\n\"The press corps knew he was a flagrant womanizer, and the American people never got a hint of that.... The theory of the day was, which sounds specious when you think about it now, if it did not interfere with his professional or civic duties, his (the president's) private life was out of bounds for us.\"\n\nI shook John Kennedy's hand once. It was an event at the White House. It was brief\u2014\"Hello, glad to meet you.\" Something like that. I was enthralled, as most people were, by his youth, his vigor, his handsomeness. He seduced a lot of us (members of the press) of whom I am one.\n\nFor instance, one of the first things he did, which caused quite a stir in my memory, was allowed live coverage of his news conferences, which up to that point had been a no-no. Eisenhower allowed television news coverage of his press conferences after they had been vetted. But with Kennedy's live press conference there was an air of excitement and thrill to them. People anticipated he might goof. Don't forget, this was the height of the Cold War. The thrill that went through the press corps, I just can't dramatize enough. And, of course, that thrill influenced news coverage.\n\nIf you examine it, you'll find the coverage was unbelievably positive. From all corners. Beyond what would be expected. Let's get down to the down and dirty of it: The press corps knew he was a flagrant womanizer, and the American people never got a hint of that. That's one example of how his image was distorted by the press.\n\nThe Carlyle Hotel was the hotel Kennedy used when he came to New York. I was very friendly with Bob Pierpoint, now deceased, who was the White House correspondent for CBS, so when they came up (to New York), I would go to the press room at the Carlyle to meet Bob for drinks and dinner.\n\nI remember Pierre Salinger, the news secretary of the day, would come into the room and say, \"The lid is on,\" which was jargon for there would be no new developments for the rest of the day or the evening. \"You guys can go out and get drunk. I promise you nothing's going to happen while you're gone. The president has gone to visit his friend Mrs. Smith over on Fifth Avenue.\"\n\nSo we (journalists) would go on to have drinks. We knew at the time that Mrs. Smith was one of his amours.\n\nThe theory of the day was, which sounds specious when you think about it now, if it did not interfere with his professional or civic duties, his (the president's) private life was out of bounds for us.\n\nWhat changed was the so-called credibility gap (term referring to public skepticism first used to describe LBJ's policies on Vietnam). And Nixon with Watergate. People discovered the government was lying to them. This was, of course, post-Kennedy. That changed everything.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was on vacation in upstate New York with my then-pregnant wife. We had just arrived in Dutchess County and were having lunch at a down market diner. Somebody burst into the diner and yelled, \"The president's been shot.\" I didn't believe it. It was beyond comprehension to me. But I decided I ought to check, so I went to a nearby pay phone, and I couldn't get through to CBS. The CBS switchboard was dead in the water because of the overload. I explained to my wife; she was very understanding. We went back to the house we were staying in, packed up, and drove back to New York. Our vacation was maybe six or seven hours.\n\nI drove her home and went to the office. By the time I got there, it must have been seven or eight in the evening. And I was there for the next four days doing all sorts of odd jobs. I got only a few hours of sleep over the next four days.\n\nThose of us in the trenches did not reflect on the momentousness of the events. We were so busy doing the nitty-gritty of getting information out and researching. Looking for people to interview. Feeding Cronkite, and then later Charles Collingwood, who spelled him. Things were so frantic and so out of control. If you're doing your job, there is no time to reflect.\n\nI remember the big disappointment\u2014I cannot dramatize it enough\u2014that we were not on the air when Oswald got shot Sunday morning. We were in some form of ordinary, routine programming. I cannot remember what it was. This was an era with only three networks. NBC, which carried it live, their regular programming was The Today Show. They were live from Dallas. They lucked out and we at CBS were just beside ourselves. I was in the newsroom and within seconds of it happening (shooting of Oswald), we were on to it.\n\nAt the convention center to which Kennedy was headed (the Dallas Trade Mart) there was a fellow named Eddie Barker, then the news director of the CBS news station in Dallas and who owned Dallas, and Dan Rather, then the most junior member of the CBS news staff. He had been assigned to work with Barker at the convention center and be Barker's \"bat boy,\" doing whatever Barker needed. Eddie was the first news man to learn that Kennedy was dead (from a physician standing near him who had called Parkland Hospital). Eddie told Dan Rather. Rather called in to the Cronkite news room and told them Kennedy was dead. Cronkite rejected that as not being substantial enough to put on the air. Barker and Cronkite were close friends, and Cronkite later that day put Barker on the air.\n\nWe came out of this exhausted. Totally drained. Journalists at that time, especially the good ones, were not very reflective. Cronkite, in his heyday, was not a reflective person.\n\nSeveral years after the assassination, Cronkite published his memoir, A Reporter's Life, which was a huge bestseller in its day. Sometime after the book came out, I got a call from Bob Pierpoint who, as I said, was a very close friend of mine. He was beside himself, really upset.\n\nI said, \"Bob, what's the problem?\"\n\nBob said, \"I just read Cronkite's book.\"\n\nI said, \"So what?\"I personally didn't think much of Cronkite's book.\n\nHe said, \"Sandy, on the day of Kennedy's assassination, he's got Dan Rather at Parkland Hospital. Sandy, I was at Parkland Hospital. Dan Rather was at the convention center.\"\n\nWe're talking about the first edition of the Cronkite autobiography. Sure enough. There were repeated references of Rather at Parkland Hospital.\n\nSo I went into Cronkite's office, and I said, \"Walter, we've got a problem. In your book, you've got Rather at Parkland Hospital and it was Pierpoint.\"\n\nAnd he said, \"Get out of here. What are you talking about?\"\n\n\"What I'm talking about,\" I replied, \"is that on the day Kennedy was shot, Pierpoint was part of the White House entourage. He was at Parkland Hospital. Dan Rather was at the convention center.\"\n\nIt turned into a very heated conversation, with Cronkite finally dismissing me, shouting at me.\n\n\"I don't want to talk about it anymore, goddamn it, it was Rather at the hospital, not Pierpoint.\"\n\nAt one point, Cronkite said, \"I can see it in my mind's eye.\"\n\nI said, \"Walter, we didn't have the technology in those days to have a remote at the hospital in such quick time.\"\n\nHe dismissed me. We had a very angry display.\n\nI retreated. CBS had published a four-volume text of everything that was said over the four days of coverage, and what was seen on television. I proudly went home and pulled up volume one, day one. Sure enough, you go through it and there it is: Pierpoint, Pierpont, Pierpoint. At Parkland Hospital. There is hardly any reference to Rather. So I brought it into Cronkite the next day, and I laid it on his desk and said, \"You've got to read this.\"\n\nAnd he looked at it. And I must say, his lips paled right in front of me. He shouted at his assistant to get Pierpoint on the phone. He spoke to Bob and he groveled. He was dismayed. He promised Pierpoint it would be changed in subsequent editions. He apologized to Pierpoint over and over again for the horrendous mistake.\n\nAs I was leaving the office, Cronkite said to me, \"You know, in a courtroom under oath I would have sworn it was Dan Rather.\"\n\nThe moral of that story? I no longer believe any memoir I read. If the most trusted man in America could make that mistake of memory, you can't trust anybody's memory.\n\nWhat is John Kennedy's legacy? He saved us from nuclear disaster. We should all be grateful that we did not have a nuclear exchange with Russia over Cuba, though he did start our bad investment in Vietnam.\n  Al Spivak\n\nUnited Press International, participated in the Kennedy-Nixon debates in 1960\n\n\"(During the campaign, there) were young teeny-boppers who would go running after his open convertible in the motorcades. And they would leap up and down as he drove past. Somebody in the Kennedy entourage named them 'the jumpers.'\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy when he was in the Senate. I covered the Labor Committee. I also covered the campaign of 1960 and got to know him well, because I was traveling with him on his family's airplane. It was a twin-engine Convair, \"The Caroline.\"\n\nI was a \"press pooler\" as a wire service reporter. I thought he was bright, capable, and charming, and as the campaign wore on, I thought he was \"out-campaigning\" Richard Nixon. I also had met Nixon in 1951, shortly after I arrived in Washington, and got to know him during his Senate days, and occasionally covered him when he was vice president.\n\nI watched the first debate on television, and I reacted the way most people did. On television, Kennedy came across much better than Nixon. There was, of course, the contrasting opinion that on radio, Nixon came through much better.\n\nAfter the first debate, the public response to Kennedy on the campaign leaped up by quite a bit. There were larger, more enthusiastic crowds. And people eager to see him; to touch his hand. That's when the so called \"jumpers\" came into existence. These were young teeny-boppers who would go running after his open convertible in the motorcades. And they would leap up and down as he drove past. And somebody in the Kennedy entourage named them \"the jumpers.\" It was like the reaction young girls gave to Frank Sinatra in his heyday. A lot of that for Sinatra may have been staged, but I don't think it was staged in the Kennedy campaign. It didn't have to be. The crowds for Nixon were more subdued. But then, he ran a more subdued campaign.\n\nAnd Kennedy was on the attack. He was attacking an incumbent vice president and an incumbent administration. If you review the transcripts of those campaign speeches, he hit it hard. My favorite line from his stump speech was the characterization of the Republicans: \"They remind me of the elephants in a circus parade. They lock their trunks onto the tails of the other elephants and they all march around in lock-step.\"\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I had just returned to my apartment in Arlington, Virginia, after an extended vacation in Europe. I had been in my apartment for only ten or fifteen minutes when the phone rang, and it was the number two man in our Washington bureau, Grant Dillman. He said, \"Thank goodness you're back. Don't unpack. Kennedy has been shot and we want you to go to Dallas.\" Not too long after that, Grant called me back and said, \"You're not going to Dallas. Kennedy's dead. But you are going to Andrews to cover the arrival of his body on Air Force One.\"\n\nAt Andrews, there was an eerie scene. It was dark and there was a rope stretched across a press area so reporters could see the plane well as it taxied up. Before the casket was removed, Merriman (Smith), who had been on Air Force One as a pooler, got off and rushed over, looking for whoever was there from UPI. He saw me and he handed me his copy and said, \"Phone this into the office.\" He had written a story, a follow-up to the assassination. He had been the only wire service reporter on Air Force One. He covered the swearing-in of Johnson, and he was able to interview people on the staff.\n\nDuring the funeral, my job was to cover the cemetery. I was dictating the graveside ceremony to a typist, play-by-play, and at a certain point there was a flyover of Air Force jets. Several years later, the young lady to whom I had been dictating said to me, \"Do you remember breaking down when the airplanes flew over?\"\n\nI responded, \"I did nothing of the sort.\"\n\nShe said, \"Yes you did. You choked up. And you had to say, 'Wait a minute.' And it took several minutes before you got back and started dictating some more.\"\n\nI said, \"I have no memory of it.\"\n\nBut thinking about it more and more, I am convinced that I did choke up. I choke up very easily. I also recall bagpipers performing. Anyone who would not choke up at that is made of iron.\n\nKennedy's legacy is one of inspiration. He inspired the country through his speeches\u2014not only his inaugural address, but other speeches as well. He came in as a younger president than the nation was accustomed to. And he loved to use the word \"vigor.\"\n\nHe performed magnificently during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and I think he started then to get his stride. Prior to that he felt, I am convinced, that Khrushchev \"did him dirt\" to coin an old phrase, and JFK felt that it was his job to protect the country and the world against Khrushchev. That was a great achievement. It kept the country out of a Third World War.\n  Stan Stearns\n\nUnited Press International, captured iconic photo of John Kennedy Jr. saluting his father's casket\n\n\"One exposure. A roll of thirty-six exposures, only one exposure, that's it.\"\n\nI was a pool photographer for a state dinner one evening at the White House. And they put me in some anteroom, waiting for the entertainment, the famous cello player, Pablo Casals. So I'm in this ante waiting and President Kennedy walks in there. And there's nobody in there but me.\n\nI'm like about to pee in my pants. I mean, I'm a twenty-year-old kid.\n\nAnd he takes his coat off, and he calls me by my first name. I don't know how he remembered that. I was shocked. And he says, \"Stan, would you mind adjusting my corset?\" And I'm in the back, tightening up the laces on his corset.\n\nHe leaves, and I said, \"God, I need a drink.\" So then, I guess it was a half hour or so later, the entertainment started. And they brought me into the ballroom.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was out at the Bowie (Maryland) golf course. I was on the seventeenth green, putting for birdie. And the pro came out there and he says, \"Stan, I think you need to come with me, the president's been shot.\"\n\nI said, \"I'm sitting here putting for birdie.\"\n\nI thought he was pulling my leg, because he knew the guy I was with, we had a heavy bet going on. Well, I went back with him to the pro shop, called my boss George Grayling in Washington, and he says, \"Thank God you called. Get out to Andrews Air Force base as soon as you can. The plane left Dallas and they're en route.\" So that's when I started with the four-day funeral.\n\nThe most memorable image is Jackie with the blood on her legs, the big martyr, to prove to the American people. Jackie was in another world. Jackie set the motive. Hairstyles, fashion. She redecorated the White House. She was like the first queen, the only queen we ever had. And Jack was like a prince. It was different times.\n\nShe was a promoter. She used to hide the kids all the time, didn't want their publicity, didn't want them in front of photographers. But she would always bring them out at a strategic time. Her timing was unbelievable. And then nothing would happen for a couple months. But she timed it.\n\nSo I'm looking at the blood on her legs, and I'm making all the pictures. This is front page all over the world. It might have been fifty to sixty feet. It was quiet; you could drop a pin on that runway. Nobody said anything. And you could see Bobby look like he was almost in tears, Lyndon got out of there real quick. But I'll never forget the blood-soaked Jackie. In fact, one of the magazines in France, or somewhere else, I forget, they blew up her leg, just from the skirt down.\n\nAs far as the funeral, in my estimation, she would outdo Cecil B. DeMille. She copied all this stuff from the Lincoln funeral, I mean everything. And then the flame at the grave site had to be blue, because that was Jack's favorite color. The whole world stopped. Everybody was glued to that TV set. And I worked the full four days. I think I caught a two-hour nap once at the White House.\n\nIt was myself and an AP photographer who were chosen to walk from the White House with the entourage, with Jackie and all the world leaders, who walked from the White House to the church. And we walked out in front, to the side, and made pictures along this route. So when we got to the church, there were seventy or eighty other photographers. And I got under the rope, and there's no place to go. It's like sardines. And I wind up right next to a fellow UPI photographer Frank Cancellare.\n\nSo we agreed that I was just going to concentrate on Jackie, and he was going to photograph everything like I wasn't even standing there. So they come out, I'm looking through the finder at her, her expressions. Next thing you know, she reaches down, whispers in (John Jr.'s) ear, the hand goes up, click, and it's over.\n\nOne exposure. A roll of thirty-six exposures, only one exposure, that's it.\n\nSo I made that one exposure, and I'm supposed to go with the entourage for the funeral. And I ask Frank, I said, \"Did you get the salute?\"\n\nAnd he says, \"What are you talking about?\"\n\nI started asking every photographer I could get my hands on, did you see the salute? They all said, \"What are you talking about?\" They didn't see it. So I'm supposed to give my film to the motorcycle courier to go back to the office. And I said, \"Man, I know how good this picture is.\" So, I decided, I'm going to walk this back to the office myself. So I walked off the job.\n\nThe office was on Thirteenth and L streets. Well, I was just talking to myself, there's nobody there. And I'm talking to myself about how much this picture would be worth. And if I walked off the job, and if I sold it to LIFE, TIME, Newsweek, Paris Match. Then I said, \"Well, if I did that, they would sue me and get all the money back, and then I'd be in the headlines and nobody would hire me.\" It was just a passing thought that went through my head.\n\nSo I get in the office, and my boss sees me. I thought he was gonna pass out. I never saw a man that angry, and that wounded.\n\nI said, \"George, I've got the picture of the funeral.\"\n\nHe says, \"Are you shitting me? Because we've got twenty-five photographers. Look at this film right here. It looks like confetti.\" I never saw a guy that mad. And about that time, the big boss from New York walks over and he grabs me by the shirt collar and he says, \"You son of a bitch, you better have the picture or you're fired on the spot.\"\n\nAnd I said, \"Frank, take your hands off of me.\"\n\nThen George says, \"Give the film to the kid and let him develop it.\"\n\nI said, \"No, not in that crap that we develop it in.\" I said, \"This is a big enlargement, we've got to have fine grain developer.\" They all look at me like I'm a crazy man. So I go outside, I get in a cab, and I go down to the camera store, and I buy fine grain developer. I come back. I've got to fix up the chemicals. It takes time. I've got to cool it down, because you mix it up with hot water. So I go in the darkroom, and I develop this film.\n\nOne image. I look at it with a magnifying glass on the light box, and I'm gleaming from ear to ear, because I know I've got it. So I wash it properly, I dry it properly, I put it in a little plastic sleeve, and I walk outside. And they start to grab this thing.\n\nI said, \"Just everybody relax.\" And I walked over to my boss and I handed it to him.\n\nAnd he takes a magnifying glass, and he looks at it and he says, \"Holy shit, he does have the picture of the funeral.\"\n  Richard Stolley\n\nLIFE magazine, negotiated the rights to the only film of the assassination\n\n\"Then we see frame 313.... I've been in journalism almost seventy years, and that is the most dramatic moment I can recall.\"\n\nMY connection to John Kennedy before his death was quite limited; my connection after his death was quite strong.\n\nI remember November 22 as if it were yesterday. I was in the LA bureau when I heard that John Kennedy had been shot. We got the news over the AP teletype. The first bulletins were not stories\u2014just fragments of sentences: \"shots heard in Dealey Plaza;\" \"presidential limo speeds up.\" I'm not quoting here, just trying to give a sense of what we were reading on the wire. Soon, it was clear that something terrible had happened: \"Kennedy believed wounded,\" or something like that.\n\nI called New York instantly and they were watching the same thing. I asked, \"What can we do?\" My editor in New York replied, \"How fast can you get to Dallas?\" The answer was that there was a National Airlines plane in an hour. I grabbed (correspondent) Tommy (Thompson) and two photographers and said, \"Let's go.\" We heard on the car radio just outside LA airport that Kennedy had died.\n\nThe plane was crowded with journalists. The pilot kept us informed on the flight about developments in Dallas and told us the police had arrested someone named Lee Harvey Oswald from Irving, Texas. Tommy turned to me and said, \"I know the cops in Irving, let me go after that part of the story.\" And I said, \"Godspeed.\"\n\nOnce we landed, Tommy took off for Irving with one of the photographers. The other photographer and I went to the Adolphus Hotel, where our bureau receptionist had booked us a suite. I had been there maybe two hours when I got a phone call from our stringer, Patsy Swank, who had been at the Dallas Police Department all afternoon. Another reporter had called her and said, \"Patsy, I just picked up a report from a cop that a Dallas businessman was in Dealey Plaza with a movie camera, and I'm told he photographed the assassination.\"\n\nI asked, \"What do we know about the photographer?\"\n\nShe replied, \"My friend just pronounced the name to me. He didn't know how to spell it. Zapruder.\"\n\nI had never been in Dallas before, so I picked up the Dallas phone book\u2014a phone book at that time was a very important research tool. I ran my finger down the Z's until I found the name, spelled exactly as she had pronounced it to me. Z-A-P-R-U-D-E-R, Abraham.\n\nSo I started calling. No answer. It was about six o'clock in the evening. At eleven o'clock I was still calling, and finally, this weary voice answered. I identified myself and asked if other reporters had contacted him. He said, \"No.\" He had been out having the film processed all evening long. I asked if I could come to his house and see it. At that point, he was exhausted and full of grief.\n\nHe said, \"Come to my office at nine a.m.\"\n\nI got there at eight. His office was just a few steps from Dealey Plaza. Zapruder looked slightly annoyed that I was so early. He was just about to show the film to two local Secret Service agents. But he said I could join them. He showed it to us in this small windowless room. Eight-millimeter film is tiny\u2014only about a quarter of an inch wide. The image we saw was not larger than a small television screen. He beamed it onto a white wall. You see the motorcade turning right into Dealey Plaza, and then it takes a sharp left. There were some cops on motorcycles out in front, then the limo disappears behind a big road sign. When it comes out, Kennedy's fists are at his throat, and you can see Governor John Connolly starting to fall off the jump seat, his mouth opening up in pain. The president is still clutching his throat. Jackie is looking at him quizzically.\n\nThen we see frame 313. The whole right rear of the president's skull explodes, a plume of blood and brain matter.\n\nAll three of us grunted when frame 313 came into view. I've been in journalism almost seventy years, and that is the most dramatic moment I can recall. I was overwhelmed, and immediately understood what an important piece of photography this was. I was determined not to leave that office without that film for LIFE magazine.\n\nOther reporters showed up. He showed them the film. I stayed away from them. Then Zapruder called us all into the hall outside his office. He said he realized they all wanted to talk to him about purchasing film rights, but, \"Mr. Stolley was the first person to contact me, so I feel obliged to talk to him first.\" He invited me into his office, and of course, the other reporters went nuts. There were no TV people among them. There was Saturday Evening Post, AP, several newspapers, and a newsreel. This was less than twenty-four hours after the president's death. Dan Rather and the other TV people didn't appear until Monday. That may seem astonishing, but TV news was only beginning; it had gone from fifteen to thirty-minute nightly broadcasts just a few months earlier.\n\nZapruder and I sat down and negotiated. He was a canny businessman, and he knew the value of what he had. I determined that very early on. We didn't have to bullshit after that. But he was also deeply concerned about the possible exploitation of the film. He realized how incredibly grisly and sensational it was.\n\nHe told me he had had a nightmare the night before, after the assassination. In it, he was walking through Times Square in New York, back when Times Square was particularly sleazy, and a guy in a pinstriped, double-breasted suit was on the sidewalk urging people, \"C'mon in, folks, and see the president get shot on the big screen!\" Zapruder said he woke up almost in tears. It haunted him.\n\nI was able to assure him that LIFE would not exploit this film. I said, \"You know LIFE magazine. LIFE has a reputation for graphic photography presented with taste.\" In the end, that factor was very important.\n\nWe kept raising the ante, and I got up to fifty thousand dollars. I said, \"Mr. Zapruder, that's as high as I am authorized to go. You'll have to excuse me so I can call New York.\"\n\nThe other reporters were banging on the door and shouting. I could see this was making him exceedingly nervous. The thought of going through this negotiation process with representatives of half a dozen other publications was weighing heavily on him.\n\nHe looked up at me and said, \"Let's do it.\"\n\nI had spoken with one of the TIME-LIFE lawyers the night before, and he told me how to compose a basic contract. I sat down at a desk in Mr. Z's office and typed out a six line contract for print rights only. We both signed it, and his business partner signed it as a witness. He gave me the original film and one copy. He had made three copies, and had already sent one to the FBI and another to the Dallas police department.\n\nIt was amazing the Secret Service agents didn't confiscate the original that morning. Astonishing.\n\nI got those two little reels and said, \"Do you have a back door to this place?\" Thank God he did, so I was able to sneak out and leave poor Mr. Z to go out and tell that hallway full of extremely angry journalists that he had just sold the film to LIFE magazine.\n\nI sent the original to Chicago by courier. We were on a tight deadline, and LIFE had set up a makeshift office at the plant where the magazine was printed. Normally, we would assemble all the editorial material for an issue in New York and put it on a train for Chicago and Donnelley, the printing company. The one copy of the film went to New York. The editors there watched it, called me Sunday, and said, \"This is an incredible piece of film. We now want all the rights.\" I called Zapruder, and he seemed so relieved to hear from me. He said, \"Meet me in my lawyer's office tomorrow.\"\n\nMeanwhile, a small staff of editors in Chicago was putting the film's images into the magazine in black and white because the plant could not print color that fast. And they did not use frame 313 out of deference to the Kennedy family.\n\nIn that frame, the brain matter is spilling forward, which proves fairly conclusively to me that there was no shot from the grassy knoll because it would then be going in the opposite direction. The editors were all set to close the magazine Sunday morning when Oswald was shot. So they had to rip open that issue and start all over again.\n\nTommy Thompson meanwhile had found the Oswald family, and it was an exclusive. He called me on Saturday and said, \"I got them. Nobody else has. We've got to hide them.\"\n\nWe did. We put them in a suite under an assumed name at the Adolphus Hotel. It was Marina, the two babies, Lee's brother Robert, their mother Marguerite, and a Russian interpreter. The Secret Service called us and demanded to know where they were, claiming, \"We've got to protect them.\" I denied any knowledge of their whereabouts. The agent got extremely profane with me, and I finally said, \"If I tell you where they are, will you promise me you won't tell any other reporters. I'm very serious about this.\" He said, \"I promise.\"And he kept his promise.\n\nI think they moved agents into the hotel near the family immediately, and the following day, Sunday, after Oswald was killed, they whisked the family to a motel on the outskirts of Dallas.\n\nThe day after that, Monday, I went to the office of Mr. Z's attorney, Sam Passman, and that's where Dan Rather comes in. He was there and saw the footage for the first time. I knew Dan. I had covered the South for four years and had seen him on a few racial stories working for CBS. He later wrote in The Camera Never Blinks that he was dismayed when LIFE magazine walked into the office because he knew we had \"deep pockets.\" He saw the film and left. He had been authorized to offer ten thousand dollars for film and broadcast rights.\n\nI went into Passman's office with him and Zapruder. I offered another hundred thousand dollars for the film and TV rights, and we ended our negotiations in about fifteen minutes. Zapruder asked that the amount not be revealed. I promised I would not.\n\nAfter that meeting, I never saw Abe Zapruder again, although we did speak on the phone once or twice. Time Inc. had agreed to split whatever revenue it made selling rights to the film after recouping the one hundred fifty thousand dollars, and he called to ask how sales were going. At the time, I realized that he had given all his copies of the film to law enforcement agencies, and I asked if I could send him a good first-generation copy. He said no, he did not want the film in his home.\n\nThe film almost didn't get made. Zapruder had not brought his camera to work that day. His secretary badgered him, saying, \"Mr. Z, it's not every day that the president comes through the neighborhood.\" All Dallas, including Oswald, knew the motorcade route because it had been published in the local papers. It was raining that morning, so Zapruder left his camera at home. But he drove back home and got it. Then he went to Dealey Plaza and found the one spot where he could film the whole thing from beginning to end.\n\nYou can see an almost imperceptible jerk three times in the film\u2014three shots. The first shot missed. It was fired when the limousine was the closest to the sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository Building where Oswald was hiding. The second shot was fired, from Zapruder's vantage point, when the limousine was behind the road sign. And the fatal third shot came two or three seconds after that.\n\nEver since, I am frequently asked how I managed to obtain the film. Part of the answer came years later when I was speaking with Zapruder's business partner, whom I had no recollection of meeting even though he signed the first contract as a witness. It was that tense a situation. He asked me, \"Do you know why you got that film?\"\n\nI said, \"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"Do you know why you got it instead of all those other people in the hall?\"\n\nAnd I said, \"Well, we paid him fifty thousand dollars.\"\n\nHe said, \"No, he could have gotten that and maybe more from somebody out in the hall.\"\n\nI said, \"Well, LIFE's commitment not to exploit the film was important.\"\n\nHe replied, \"No question that was important to Abe. But do you know why YOU got it?\"\n\nI said, \"I give up.\"\n\nAnd he said, \"Because you were a gentleman.\"\n\nOn a lot of assignments you have to be a son of a bitch. But on this one, my instinct was not to go out to his house the night before. I considered it, because, in the end, there were not a lot of people who would say no to LIFE magazine. But I realized this was something none of us had ever been involved in before.\n\nJohn Kennedy's legacy is mostly spiritual, not substantial. Those of us who were around remember him with fondness and such \"what if\" longing. He never really got a chance to do very much. But there is one exception. I covered the South during four years of school desegregation. Kennedy tried to get civil rights bills through Congress, but there was no way in hell those bills were going to be passed. Lyndon Johnson, who was the most fascinating human being I ever met, did get them through.\n\nKennedy knew what the country needed and was blessed by having a vice president, whom he probably didn't like very much, and of course, Bobby Kennedy hated, who had great influence in Congress. I was in the Senate gallery when the 1964 Civil Rights Act was passed, a truly historic moment. Senator Everett Dirksen, who was from my hometown in Illinois, rallied the moderate Republicans, of whom there were still some then, to vote for the bill. Of course all the Southern Democrats voted no. It was an amazing example of how politics works. Kennedy realized that the civil rights bills were essential and just, and he was their spiritual leader. But the credit for their passage belongs to his successor.\n  Sander Vanocur\n\nNBC News and ABC News\n\n\"During the Cuban Missile Crisis, we were very close (to a nuclear war). I had been told that in case of an evacuation of the president and his family to wherever they were going, I was to be the TV pool correspondent and go with them. And I didn't know how to explain this to my wife.\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy at Midway Airport in Chicago, and as luck would have it that day, Nixon and Kennedy were both there changing planes. It was 1958 or 1959. I was based in Chicago and one of them had a book, it might have been Kennedy's Profiles in Courage, and I was sent to the airport to get an interview with him.\n\nWhat I knew about him at the time I had learned from my college roommate at Northwestern University, Newton Minow, an Adlai Stevenson law partner. He was urging Adlai not to run again for the presidency in 1960, but rather to give his support to Kennedy. That was kind of difficult because Stevenson was a good friend of (Eleanor) Roosevelt. She didn't like Kennedy because she didn't like his father. She once said, I think, \"I do wish the senator from Massachusetts would, from time to time, show a bit more courage and a little less profile,\" referring, of course, to Kennedy's book.\n\nCatholicism was the most important issue in the 1960 election. In 1928, Al Smith (a Catholic) had run and lost to (Herbert) Hoover. The joke was, at the time, when the election was over, Al Smith sent a cable to the Pope, and all it said was \"Unpack.\" But (in 1960) the Catholic issue was still very strong and not entirely in the South. Kennedy made the decision to speak to the Greater Houston Ministerial Association one week before the (first) Kennedy-Nixon debate in Chicago. And he did very well. Later, Kennedy and Nixon spoke at the Al Smith Memorial Dinner in New York. I can't even say it was a bipartisan event because Cardinal Francis Spellman was in charge and Spellman didn't really like the Kennedys. The audience was mostly Republican, anyway.\n\nAfter the first debate in Chicago in 1960, in which I was one of the journalists asking questions of the candidates, I went up to the podium and took a yellow legal pad on which Kennedy had made notes. It's now in the Newseum in Washington, DC. Both Kennedy and Nixon left almost immediately after the debate. During the broadcast, Nixon had a little sweat on his upper lip, and he would glance once in a while at Kennedy as if\u2014and I am being a bit subjective here\u2014seeking approval. Kennedy hardly ever looked at Nixon; he looked straight at the camera. We later learned Kennedy had a perpetual tan to hide the pallor from taking prescription drugs for Addison's disease. We didn't know it at the time and had we known it, I'm not sure we would have reported it. Different kind of ethics then.\n\nLater, in 1962, at the end of the Cuban Missile Crisis, Kennedy had a press conference in the White House Situation Room and after he spoke, I went to where he had been standing. There was a yellow legal pad on which he had written one word five times and had circled it: \"Berlin.\" I went to grab it, and Kennedy's military aide, Major General Ted Clifton, put his hand on my wrist and said, \"Sandy, that's for the archives.\"\n\nDuring the Cuban Missile Crisis, we were very close (to a nuclear war). I came home one night and my late wife asked, \"Are we going to war?\" I said, \"I don't know. I need a drink.\" I had been told on Tuesday, after Kennedy's address to the nation on Monday night, that in case of an evacuation of the president and his family to wherever they were going, I was to be the TV pool correspondent and go with them. And I didn't know how to explain this to my wife. Anyone who says they knew there would not be a war, don't believe it. I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I probably would have stayed with my family.\n\nLater, when I visited Havana for an event commemorating the crisis, I came away with how angry the Soviets were at the Cubans for getting them into this, and how angry the Cubans\u2014at least Fidel Castro and his brother\u2014were because they thought the Soviets had collapsed at the strong stance Kennedy had taken.\n\nNewt Minow was a friend of Sargent Shriver, who married Kennedy's sister Eunice, and one night I attended a cocktail party at the Shrivers' apartment. The old man (Joseph P. Kennedy) came up to me and introduced himself. That is where he said, \"I keep telling Jack that television is very important and that (he) ought to pay more attention to you guys in television, than in the press.\"\n\nThe old man was more alert to the possibilities of television than Jack Kennedy was. Jack eased into it. He really was our first television president.\n\nThis continued with Kennedy after he was elected president. We in television thought the guys who had the best entry into the White House were Benjamin Bradlee at Newsweek and Hugh Sidey at TIME magazine. Also, Kennedy was a close friend of Bradlee. They were neighbors. Hugh Sidey had an in because TIME was very influential, terribly powerful at the time. And LIFE magazine, too.\n\nCovering the Kennedy White House was not a day at the beach because television had not come into the dominant position as it has today. After Kennedy and Jackie arrived at the White House, I think it was the day after the inauguration, he took her on a tour, and in the press room, he introduced her to Merriman Smith of UPI. He said, \"Jackie, this is Merriman Smith of the United Press. He owns the place.\"\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was in Los Angeles. I had been asked by Robert Sarnoff, David's son, who was running the West Coast office of NBC, to be the speaker at a dinner. The next day I was playing tennis, and someone leaned out an apartment window and said, \"Kennedy's been shot.\"\n\nI took the first flight I could to Dallas. Air Force One had already left and so I flew then to Washington.\n\nOn the next day, Saturday, I was at the White House standing on the small street between the West Wing and what was then referred to as the \"Old State Department Building,\" now called the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. I was facing down toward the Potomac outside the office of (Kennedy's National Security Advisor) McGeorge Bundy and out came Kennedy's rocking chair. And about ten minutes later, in came a saddle on a stand. Visually, nothing could illustrate more forcibly the change.\n\nNow I have to say, President Johnson was very gracious and kind to Mrs. Kennedy in getting her through this.\n\nThe Kennedys were made not just for television but for still pictures as well: the image of Kennedy clapping while his children are jumping in the Oval Office; the image of John-John peeking out from the desk. The Kennedys were a good story.\n\nKennedy's legacy is generational. He and Nixon, even though they lived during Roosevelt's presidency and the New Deal, represented the post-World War II generation, symbolized by the GI Bill of Rights.\n\nIt was almost like central casting gave us Jack and Jackie. And their beautiful children.\nSECTION SEVEN:\n\nPolitical Figures\n  Barry Goldwater Jr.\n\nMember of the United States House of Representatives, businessman, son of U.S. Senator and 1964 Republican presidential nominee Barry Goldwater\n\n\"They talked about running against each other, and instead of wasting a lot of money, decided to travel around the country together, stop at different towns and cities, and debate each other.\"\n\nI met John Kennedy as a young high school student. I was visiting my father at the United States Capitol. He and my father were talking, and a photographer took a picture of me taking a picture of the two of them. That was my only personal connection with the president. It was probably 1956.\n\nMy father and I talked about his expected campaign against John Kennedy in 1964, and I overheard many of my father's conversations about it. My father and JFK were good friends, having served together on the Senate Labor Committee (Senate Select Committee on Improper Activities in Labor and Management, also known as the \"McClellan Committee\"). He would spend time at the White House from time to time, sitting in the president's rocking chair, talking politics and sipping whiskey.\n\nThey talked about running against each other, and instead of wasting a lot of money, decided to travel around the country together, stop at different towns and cities, and debate each other. It would have been very entertaining and would have set a high standard for future campaigns. They ought to do that today.\n\nExcerpt from Barry M. Goldwater oral history interview for the JFK Library and Museum, recorded January 24, 1965 (Pages 16 and 23):\n\n\"... And I never will forget this\u2014and God, I hope they don't play this for a long, long time\u2014he came in and he had a little cigar in his mouth, you know, those little cigarette cigars. He looked down and he said, \"Do you want this (deleted) job?\" I said, \"Hell, no.\"\n\n(On whether Goldwater believed he could have defeated JFK in 1964): \"Well, I felt that I could, frankly. And I think that he felt that I had a chance. The tide was turning against him at the time he passed away. Certainly he couldn't have carried the South. The business fraternity was against him. I felt that I had a fair to middling chance of defeating him. I wouldn't have bet a lot of money on it... Kennedy would not have been afraid to debate as Johnson was... I imagine he (JFK) would have agreed to go along with me in town after town and have personal debates on the subjects and the issues. Johnson was afraid to get out of his shell. In fact, he never talked about an issue in his life. Kennedy enjoyed that kind of thing and I really looked forward to a campaign against Jack.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was on the floor of the Pacific Coast Stock Exchange, as a broker and trader, with two telephones to my ears. I was watching the ticker tape. In those days, stock brokers learned to read the ticker tape, so when the market opened, you never took your eyes off it. And it (the shooting of the president) was announced over the ticker tape. I saw it just as it came across. I was in the middle of a trade which I had to complete, but then I got a call from my dad. He was actually calling about the funeral of my grandmother. And he told me he had heard the president had been shot. We didn't talk much about the president; we were focused more on my grandmother's funeral.\n\nI think the difference between Kennedy and my father was their attitudes toward a strong defense and to react to situations the United States was confronted with in a strong and decisive manner. He was critical of Kennedy for not being more reactive and forthcoming on stopping the missiles in Cuba. Kennedy had an indecisive factor that my father did not appreciate.\n\nExcerpt from Barry M. Goldwater oral history interview for the JFK Library and Museum, recorded January 24, 1965 (Pages 25 and 26):\n\n(New York Senator Kenneth B. Keating) and I together had been pointing out on the floor of the Senate since June of that year that there were missiles in Cuba, that we should be doing something about it. In fact, I wrote down on a piece of paper flying back from Arizona after Labor Day that year that on or about the middle of October Kennedy would do something about Cuba and I gave it to Sam Shafer of Newsweek. And Sam, like you guys do, he printed it.\n\nBut Kennedy could have pulled this confrontation off at any time and he should have done it earlier. I don't hesitate a moment to say, as I've said before, I feel it was a politically motivated operation and it certainly cost the Republican Party a lot of seats in the House of Representatives. There's no question of that. I'll never forget for four or five days I was just like a fish out of water\u2014what the hell could you say? You had to back your president\u2014it was the right act. He didn't go far enough or long enough with it. I think at that time we could have completely toppled Castro and we wouldn't have had to have any bloodshed on our part about it.\n\nA lot of people judge presidents incorrectly. The most important attribute of a president is to be a leader, and through communications to the nation, move us in certain directions and rally the spirit of the American people to get together and solve problems, to get together and support initiatives. I was not around then, but Franklin Roosevelt had that same knack. I'm not sure if he was on the same level of a JFK or a Ronald Reagan, but he certainly made strong efforts to communicate to the American people in a non-partisan way.\n\nIn regard to Kennedy's legacy, the only thing that stands out is the Cuban Missile Crisis and that's a mixed bag. As a result, you wouldn't necessarily give him high marks. He wasn't in office long enough to do much else. The other thing I recall\u2014and Republicans like this\u2014he advocated reducing taxes. A main point of the Republican philosophy\u2014get the government off people's backs and out of their wallets. I respect that and JFK's message\u2014\"A rising tide lifts all boats.\" He was successful in building the nation's economy.\n\nHe stood out\u2014and he still stands out\u2014as an admired and respected president. More so than the others who came after him.\n  Gary Hart\n\nMember of the United States Senate, Democratic presidential candidate\n\n\"He was going in to see the president with two guns!\"\n\nI saw John Kennedy twice in campaign appearances in the fall of 1960. I was a graduate student at the time and happened to be with some friends in New York City. We were in midtown Manhattan. There was a lot of excitement: campaign signs, leaflets being handed out. And he was making one of his first appearances after the Democratic convention in the fall campaign.\n\nIn those days, my recollection is that the conventions were held, but people didn't do very much in August, unlike now. The official campaign started after Labor Day. This would have been the first ten days or so in September. The event was a rally of supporters at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel ballroom, and we walked into the hotel, went up to the second or third floor to the ballroom, and more or less just walked right in. You obviously could never do that today. We were midway back in the crowd over on the edge. I remember it vividly. At this event and with others in the campaign, he usually ran an hour or two late. It was supposed to start at three or four in the afternoon. There were some preliminary speeches; a lot of standing around; a band playing.\n\nFinally, the curtains parted and out he came. Of course, he was an extraordinary looking man. Not someone you would mistake for anyone else; very tanned and Hollywood looking in a way.\n\nHe had a manner about him that was almost shy. He always looked a bit startled when he would walk out and see a bunch of people yelling and screaming. He had a seven-minute campaign speech: \"Let's get this country moving again.\" It was kind of standard rhetoric; all the sayings people wanted to hear. And that was it and he was gone. People stayed and cheered and clapped.\n\nThe next time I saw him was the Sunday morning before the election. He had a big rally at Madison Square Garden on Saturday evening. Then he made four or five stops through Westchester County at rallies, then two or three stops in Connecticut, well into the night. He was due on the New Haven Connecticut green at about nine o'clock Sunday morning. My wife and I went down there fairly early, around 8:30, and within minutes the green filled up. It was solidly packed. People were on every side street you could see. I think the crowd estimate was seventy-five thousand to one hundred thousand people, which was monstrous for a campaign at that time.\n\nMy principal impression was the degree to which he inspired my generation toward public service. A lot of people thought it was politics, but he never said, \"Run for office.\" He always said, \"Give something back to the country.\"\n\nIt was a broad challenge toward public service. I entered law school the next year and graduated in '64 and went into three years of government service in Washington. For my class, the class before us, and maybe one or two others, the thing was not to go to a Wall Street firm, but to go to Washington and work in government. I attribute that to John Kennedy. It traces back to the ancient Republic. He read a lot of literature from the Greek and Roman eras. He knew the theory of the Republic was citizen involvement and civic virtue. He conveyed that and I think was the last president to really do so.\n\nOf course, I recall vividly where I was on November 22. That was the fall of my senior year of law school, and so we were interviewing for positions for when we would be graduating the following spring. Law firms were coming to the campus to interview people. Ironically, I had an interview at two o'clock that afternoon with a partner from a Denver law firm, Holme, Roberts, and Owen, a very well-established firm.\n\nAt the time, my wife and I managed one of the international houses on Prospect Street up on the hill, and it was a fifteen minute walk downtown. I had the television on and was getting dressed up for the interview. The news came on, and of course, later the famous Walter Cronkite announcement. So I just went through the motions. I walked down the hill and was in a state of \"auto-pilot.\" It was unbelievable. I went to the room where the interviews were being held. The lawyer, who subsequently became a very good friend of mine, had just heard the news. I introduced myself and sat down.\n\nNeither one of us said a word for fifteen or twenty minutes. Then, I thanked him for his time and left.\n\nThe most important lessons (JFK) learned in office dealt with the Cuban Missile Crisis, as well as the confrontation with Soviet leader Khrushchev during their first summit meeting. The general consensus was that he (Kennedy) got overpowered. He was stunned at how blunt and demanding Khrushchev was and how little respect he paid to Kennedy. Kennedy came out of that saying to his close friends that he realized the seriousness of the Cold War.\n\nHe was very much an international president, as demonstrated by the famous trip to France and meetings with De Gaulle. Given who he was, and his background, and his family, he was by no means a novice in the ways of the world and international relations. He had traveled.\n\nHe had met a lot of important people, so it wasn't like this was a new set of experiences for him. But when he walked into the Elysee Palace, he was President of the United States, so that had to have made a big difference. I would imagine that the two shaping experiences of his presidency were the meetings with international leaders on the international stage and the civil rights struggle, how bitter it was given Southern sentiments.\n\nRegarding the Cuban Missile Crisis, he was a war veteran and had enormous respect for senior commanders, but not necessarily the hawkish ones, such as Curtis LeMay\u2014not only their willingness, but their eagerness to go to war in Cuba, really sobered him. And their underestimation of what it would take to overthrow Castro, I think it caused him to understand that he couldn't take somebody else's word for events on the ground, whether they were in intelligence or the military.\n\nThe concept of public service, as Kennedy spoke of it, is not prevalent today. The theme needs be re-echoed by leaders and particularly new leaders\u2014young leaders who can inspire idealism. Idealism is an interesting phenomenon.\n\nI've described myself as the oldest and last living American idealist. I tell student audiences to take a look because when I'm gone, there won't be any more. Idealism is something that, if it occurs to people at all, it usually occurs in their late teens to mid-twenties. Why that period? Because if you're going to have any spirit or sense of idealism\u2014meaning that we can make improvements to make our society better\u2014it's going to be in the period when you're old enough to understand what that takes\u2014a commitment to service, a belief that things can be improved, but also before you get life's burdens, meaning families, mortgages, and careers. It really is an appeal to a window of young people\u2014that's what the Peace Corps was about. It resonated with a few people over that age, but by and large, in that younger group.\n\nYou can't be against government and then challenge people to be involved in government. And that's an appeal of Republican ideology.\n\nWhat will it take to inspire people into public service? Dynamic young political leadership that issues the challenge. There's no magic to it; there's no secret formula. It's the theme and the reiteration of the theme and providing opportunities to fulfill it. One thing I tried to do in the late seventies and early eighties was to promote different forms of national service. This was a kind of update of the Peace Corps concept. Kennedy not only said, \"Give something back,\" but \"Here are a variety of ways you can do it, including internationally.\" And I think you have to do both; you have to say, \"Give something back and here are some ways that it can be done.\" By the way, not just in the national arena, but at the state and local levels as well.\n\nThe question of John Kennedy's legacy is so complex. I would rank him very high because of that intangible of appealing to idealism which cannot be qualified, cannot be measured, by any normal political science measurements. He had a profound impact on this country, at least in my generation. It hasn't survived much beyond that, and my generation is moving on. So I worry about that for future generations.\n\nHis legacy is not only the tangible events like the Cuban Missile Crisis and his very important American University speech, probably the most important and historic speech he gave. It was visionary. But it is also\u2014in those brief three years\u2014his inspirational contribution. And it was unique. I don't know American history well enough to know whether a Teddy Roosevelt sixty years earlier inspired that kind of activism. Of course, there was the Progressive Movement at the time. As historian Arthur Schlesinger commented, there are \"waves of reform\" and those, generally, are periods of idealism and social improvement.\n\nI would like to believe that if he had a chance to see what some of the people he inspired went on to do, that he would be very pleased. That is to say, a lot of people did go into the Peace Corps, the military, and had brilliant careers in government and diplomacy. A few of us got ourselves elected to office. The greatest rewards of my service are the people who have helped me, and then have gone on to do great things themselves. And some in political life and some, quite often, in other humanitarian causes. There have been an extraordinary number of them.\n\nOne last story. I got to the Senate in 1975 and was immediately appointed to the Select Committee to Investigate the Intelligence Agencies of the U.S. Government. It came to be called the \"Church Committee,\" after Senator Frank Church of Idaho. Shortly after we began our work in the spring of 1975, the CIA started to turn over a lot of files having to do with attempts to assassinate foreign leaders, particularly Fidel Castro. We got deeply involved in that\u2014how decisions were made and who made them. Was it John Kennedy? Was it Robert Kennedy? We spent endless hours on that. But in the process, we talked with a CIA deputy director of operations, who later became the director of the CIA, Richard Helms. We were trying to find out who had access to John Kennedy during that period, 1961 and 1962 principally, because the efforts to assassinate Castro ended with the Missile Crisis resolution in October of 1962.\n\nIn a meeting, Helms said, \"On my way out of the Oval Office in a planning session, the president asked me to stay behind and I did. He said, 'Dick, I've been reading these Ian Fleming books on 007,' which Kennedy made famous. And he said, 'Do we have a 007?'\"\n\nHelms said he had to think a while and he responded, \"'Well, not in the way those books portray, but one of our principal agents has a lot of exciting stories to tell.' And Kennedy said, 'Bring him around. I'd like to meet him.'\"\n\nHis name was William Harvey. Harvey become famous for digging the tunnel from West Berlin to East Berlin under the East Berlin phone exchange and tapping into Soviet telephone conversations for quite a while. And when the Soviets found out about it, they got tipped off and sent a whole bunch of people down the tunnel to West Berlin. Harvey was manning a machine gun at the other end of the tunnel ready to kill them if they came over.\n\nPhysically, however, he looked like the opposite of Sean Connery.\n\nSo we\u2014the members of the select committee\u2014called Harvey in to ask him if he ever met Kennedy. He said \"Yes.\" And we said, \"Tell us the circumstances.\"\n\nHe said, \"Dick Helms took me to the White House and we were waiting outside the Oval Office. The door was guarded by a Secret Service man. We waited a few minutes, and Helms came over to me and whispered in my ear, 'Bill, you're not carrying a weapon, are you?'\"\n\nAnd Harvey whispered back, \"Of course I'm carrying a weapon. I always carry a weapon.\"\n\nSo Helms goes to the Secret Service man and says, \"This man with me is one of our top agents at the agency, and he tells me he is armed.\"\n\nThe Secret Service guy turns pale and goes over to Harvey and says, \"Mr. Harvey, you're not going in to see the president with a weapon.\"\n\nHarvey reaches under his arm, pulls out a forty-five and a shoulder holster, and gives it to the Secret Service agent. So they sit for two or three more minutes. And Helms had a terrible idea. He went over and whispered to Harvey, \"Bill, you don't have any other weapons, do you?\"\n\nAnd Harvey whispered back, \"Of course I do. I always have a back-up weapon.\" And the Secret Service guy took a derringer off of Harvey's ankle holster.\n\nHe was going in to see the president with two guns!\n  Ken Hechler\n\nMember of the United States House of Representatives, state official from West Virginia\n\n\"JFK and his campaign family spent so much time in West Virginia (during the 1960 primary) that West Virginia became a household name. (He) said that 'West Virginia' was the third word that his daughter Caroline learned to pronounce.\"\n\nI first met John F. Kennedy in 1947. I was teaching at Princeton University and took a group of my students to Washington. He talked to us in his congressional office. The students and I were not impressed with the off-hand manner in which he answered questions. Believe it or not, shortly thereafter, those same students interviewed Richard Nixon and were impressed with the directness of his answers.\n\nIn 1960, Senator Kennedy was trailing Hubert Humphrey midway in West Virginia's primary presidential campaign because of his Catholic religion. Ironically, Kennedy overcame this deficit with his crisp and direct answers to the media's questions, in contrast to Humphrey's over-expansive and drawn-out detail. Because Humphrey talked so much, it was often said of him: If you asked him what time it was, he would tell you how to build a watch!\n\nWhen I was a congressman, I once was flying into Charleston on the same plane with Senator Kennedy. The county Charleston is in is called Kanawha which is pronounced \"Ka-naw-wa.\" As I walked up the aisle of the plane passing by Senator Kennedy, I heard him softly repeating \"Ka-naw-wa\" over and over. Kennedy wasn't going to mispronounce the name as so many others often did.\n\nUltimately, Kennedy was able to articulate that he supported the Constitution of the United States and convinced West Virginians that he would adhere to the principles of peace and justice and would never let his religion interfere with his Americanism.\n\nDuring JFK's campaign he visited Huntington, West Virginia, home of then-Marshall College, which would not allow him to campaign on their campus. So I let him stand on the hood of my Chevy. JFK and his campaign family spent so much time in West Virginia that West Virginia became a household name. He said that \"West Virginia\" was the third word that his daughter Caroline learned to pronounce.\n\nThe head of the Logan County State Democratic Executive Committee was Raymond Chafin. For years he had been a machine boss who dictated the way elections would swing. Raymond told me a story about meeting with Kennedy's national organizer, Larry O'Brien, and being asked what it would take to get Raymond on board, so to speak. Raymond told me he said, \"Oh, about thirty-four.\" Later a suitcase was delivered that contained thirty-four thousand dollars, not the thirty-four hundred that Raymond had meant!\n\nOn the day that President Kennedy was assassinated, I was in my congressional office in Huntington preparing remarks for an address I was scheduled to make later that day in the town of Spencer. My address was on the leadership and influence of President Kennedy. During the preparation of my remarks, I received a phone call from the chairman of the Roane County meeting stating, \"Turn on your television set. President Kennedy has been assassinated in Dallas.\"\n\nWe went ahead with the meeting as scheduled, and I talked about the president's legacy. I said that \"A compassionate heart and courageous spirit have been stilled.\"\n\nAlong with millions of Americans, I was inspired with John F. Kennedy's brilliant inaugural address: \"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.\" These stirring remarks inspired millions of Americans to join the Peace Corp and dedicate their lives toward helping their fellow Americans in areas like civil rights, health care, and programs to assist poor or underprivileged people.\n  Pete McCloskey\n\nMember of the United States House of Representatives, attorney\n\n\"I said, 'Chuck, your boss is very impressive. If he can inspire a Republican to help him in a national cause, that's real leadership.'\"\n\nIN June of 1963, I was thirty-five and sitting in my little Palo Alto office and I get a telegram. It says, \"Would you please join me and other distinguished leaders of the bar in the East Room of the White House at three o'clock Thursday? Signed, John F. Kennedy.\"\n\nOf course I got on a red-eye flight and was the first one in the room at two-thirty in the afternoon. The room soon filled up with older lawyers. I recognized some of these older California lawyers.\n\nThey were with the big firms. There were, maybe, twenty I knew. They seemed surprised to see me, because I sure as hell did not rate with these fifty- and sixty-year-old distinguished lawyers.\n\nWe sat in a semicircle, and I believe there were about three hundred lawyers. There was a rostrum with the great seal of the presidency. Pretty soon, in comes the president with Lyndon Johnson on one side and Bobby Kennedy on the other. I didn't think much of Kennedy up to that point. I was a Republican. I didn't like the idea of appointing your brother as attorney general. That's nepotism.\n\nThe president opened with a very humble statement. He said, in close to the following words:\n\n\"Gentlemen, people think the president of the United States has great power. But there are things the president can't do. And there are things he can't do that you men can do... What I'd like to ask you to do is to help me. To do something I cannot do. I'd like you to go back to your communities and form committees of black and white lawyers. I'm not asking you to represent black people, but to act in a capacity so that when blacks have a legitimate grievance in your community, you make sure they can communicate with the power structure: the mayors, the chambers of commerce, the bankers. So that they can get redress or at least seek a means of redress for their grievances. If you can do that, you can help remove a problem which is going to occur in every city in this country, as the blacks move into the inner-cities and the whites move into the suburbs.\"\n\nAnd then we all went into the Rose Garden and shook hands with the president and went away. I walked out of the Rose Garden about three feet in the air and went to see my friend Chuck Daly in his office in the West Wing.\n\nI said, \"Chuck, your boss is very impressive. If he can inspire a Republican to help him in a national cause, that's real leadership. I've never thought about politics, but I think someday I might want to run for Congress. Who should I talk to?\"\n\nHe said, \"Nobody will talk to you around here. You're a goddamn Republican. But there's one guy who may give us some problems around here someday.\"\n\nHe picked up the phone and his secretary got this person on the phone for Chuck. Daly talked to the guy, saying, \"I have this guy who's got a crazy idea to get into politics.\" He handed me a slip of paper and said, \"He'll see you if you stick around until tomorrow at four o'clock.\"\n\nThe man who was advising me was John Lindsay, who later became mayor of New York City. It was clear the White House thought John Lindsay might be a threat to the Kennedy dynasty\u2014Jack, Bobby, and Teddy in that order. I tried to talk him out of becoming a Democrat when he was mayor of New York. John and I stayed friends until the day he died.\n\nHere's how I was invited to the meeting at the White House. Chuck is one of my closest friends in the world. We served together in the Marines in Korea. He worked in the Kennedy White House. It turns out Chuck had sat in on a meeting about this forthcoming conference on civil rights and Bobby Kennedy was present. The attorney general remarked, \"We have a lot of lawyers coming, but they all seem to be Democrats. Doesn't anybody know any Republican civil rights lawyers?\"\n\nDaly piped up and said, \"I know two.\" That was me and my then partner Lewis Butler, who later became an assistant secretary at the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare under Nixon, and the first person to quit the Nixon administration over the invasion of Cambodia in 1971.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was in San Mateo County Superior Court arguing an important case and the big utility company Pacific Gas & Electric was on the other side. There were four or five lawyers at the counsel table at one end. We had a visiting judge from one of the mountain counties. He was about seventy-five or eighty years old. At about eleven forty-five, I was in the midst of the final argument and the bailiff, sitting at the rear of the courtroom, came up to the judge and handed him a slip of paper. The judge said, \"Hold up your argument, young man. Gentlemen, I've just received news here that President Kennedy has been shot. Now, please continue your argument.\"\n\nI lamely finished the argument. At noon, I ran out of the courtroom, got in my car to go back to the office, turned on the radio, and by that time, it was clear Kennedy had died. I couldn't face it. I really couldn't face it. So, instead of going back to the office, I drove home and went to sleep.\n\nI felt a tremendous sadness when Kennedy was assassinated. He had given the nation great hope. He inspired not just me. He inspired a whole generation of people in his inaugural address. Here was a young guy coming out of the war, having been wounded in the war. He was a war hero. I had the feeling he never would have sent troops to Vietnam. Lyndon Johnson came in with this Texas, \"Bring the coonskin home\" attitude.\n  Walter Mondale\n\nVice President of the United States, member of the United States Senate, 1984 Democratic presidential nominee\n\n\"There still is a horrible sense of loss nearly fifty years later. We were robbed.\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy in 1958. He was coming through Minnesota in his first effort to seek the presidency. He spoke at the annual DFL (Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party) dinner. I was awed by him. He was eloquent, although he was still learning how to speak with presidential timber. For young people especially, he was inspiring: his strength, youth, and his embrace of the need for change. It all hit me where I lived; most people in the room were impressed. I was affected because, at that time, I was a young man and thinking about going into politics.\n\nOf course, I met him many times after that.\n\nExcerpt from The Good Fight: A Life in Liberal Politics, by Walter F. Mondale \u00a9 2010 (Used with author's permission):\n\n\"I thought his inaugural address (in January 1961) was one of the finest political speeches of our generation. I believe that the stirring phrase he used\u2014that America would 'pay any price, bear any burden' to advance the cause of liberty\u2014was an enduring source of inspiration to the country.\"\n\nThat (statement) really hit me and encouraged my interest in politics. The one caveat or adjustment I would make more than fifty years later, after Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan, is \"be careful.\" We've gotten into some bad wars and we've been ignorant about what we were getting into. These were toxic environments, and they've been tragic for us.\n\nKennedy had come to Duluth, Minnesota to speak at a conference on forestry in late September of 1963, a few weeks before the assassination. He stayed overnight at the Duluth Hotel. A bunch of us were sitting in his room, including Hubert (Senator Hubert Humphrey) and McCarthy (Senator Eugene McCarthy). All of a sudden, a loud foghorn went off. And the president said with a big smile, \"Will this be running all night?\" The answer, of course, was \"Yes.\" I don't think he got a lot of sleep that night.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was serving as Minnesota's attorney general and sitting in my office in the State Capitol with Nick Coleman, a leader in the state legislature and an old friend. I had agreed to be Kennedy's re-election campaign chairman for the state. Nick and I were working on the campaign when my secretary came in and said, \"I don't know how to say this, but I just heard the president's been shot. You'd better listen to the radio.\"\n\nSo we turned on the radio and heard the news that he was dead. It was one of the saddest moments of my life. The man we were working for was just gone.\n\nExcerpt from The Good Fight: A Life in Liberal Politics, by Walter F. Mondale \u00a9 2010 (Used with author's permission)\n\n\"After Kennedy's assassination, I believe we had moral momentum. And in the White House we had Johnson and Humphrey\u2014masters of Senate procedure and brilliant legislators. We could have passed nearly anything we wanted. The Senate has never moved so fast in its history. The Elementary and Secondary Education Act, which established the first federal aid to poorer children, was reported to the Senate floor on April 6 and passed on April 9. The Voting Rights Act\u2014reported on April 9 and passed on May 26. Medicare, reported to the Senate on June 30 and passed nine days later. The Immigration Act of 1965\u2014a landmark bill that did away with the old country-of-origin quotas\u2014was reported on September 15 and passed seven days later. It was like driving in a hailstorm\u2014Johnson kept hitting us with one bill after another.\n\n\"Some years later, in a talk at the University of Minnesota, I called that period of my career the 'high tide' for American liberalism. It was as if we took the intellectual heritage of Franklin Roosevelt, the moral inspiration of John Kennedy, and a decade of pent-up demand for social change and converted them in a social reality.\"\n\nI think we had the moral urgency of personal involvement for social change in the United States. There was a generational restlessness. Things had been sluggish for a long time. I think of Kennedy's line from the inaugural address, \"God's work must truly be our own.\"\n\nI think John Kennedy was denied a complete legacy. His commitment to civil rights, to Medicare, to health care, and even to environmental causes, were all part of his vision for America. And then, he was killed. I still think about him and that sense of urgency, the way he was able to take what we consider to be the noble causes of social justice and make them appealing by the way he carried himself, by the way he made compelling arguments for social causes.\n\nThere still is a horrible sense of loss nearly fifty years later. We were robbed.\n  Jim Wright\n\nSpeaker of the United States House of Representatives\n\n\"It was the strongest emotional roller coaster I've ever experienced. We had been so happy that morning.\"\n\nFROM my first encounter with then-Senator John Kennedy, I was very favorably impressed. I was a member of the House of Representatives and hosted a fifteen-minute TV program in my community, Fort Worth. His was one of my earlier interviews. I had just finished reading his book Profiles in Courage and had been impressed with it. We did a thirty-minute interview.\n\nAfter the interview, I made a pledge: Anyone who was a senior in high school, or a student in a college and university, who would write a two-page or five-hundred word essay on his or her favorite character in American history, I would send them an autographed copy of John Kennedy's book.\n\nIn those days, the author's price for a book was about two dollars; brand new on the shelf, the book was about five dollars.\n\nI was able to give away a bunch of those books, and John Kennedy autographed each one personally. The books were first editions. Later, I gave more of them to other people\u2014faculty members of schools, students, and others I knew would appreciate them. This was long before I dreamed he would be a candidate for president. But you can image the value attached today to those books.\n\nI was impressed with his willingness to sit down for the interview. The spontaneity of the man, his engaging personality, and his ability to speak freely and with a strong measure of conviction on important issues. He was very much impressed with Sam Houston, who was a hero of mine. I developed an attachment to him and a friendship for him long before I ever imagined he would be a candidate for president.\n\nKennedy's magic was spontaneous and inspired people. He had the ability to say something that would be lasting, to grasp an idea or something that had been said, and to make a comment that would be memorable. He had a peculiar capacity for humor\u2014especially self-deprecating humor. He was the first man I ever knew who actually seemed to enjoy jokes made upon himself. He didn't just tolerate it; he made something out of it.\n\nEarly in 1960, after he was an announced candidate for the nomination, I attended the annual Gridiron Dinner in Washington. As was the custom in those days, they had professional actors portraying various characters in skits calculated to embarrass. Just before Kennedy was to appear, (they had chosen him to be the spokesman for the Democrats) was a skit capturing the most vulnerable spot in Kennedy's armor. The actors portrayed Kennedy out among crowds with a huge sack of money, and loosely scattering the money around, purchasing votes.\n\nKennedy had no idea this was coming. When the skit ended, the spotlight came upon him, and he was expected to make some response to this \"vote buying.\" He reached in his pocket, pulled out a piece of paper, looked at it, and said, \"I have just received a telegram from my wealthy father. It says, 'Dear Jack, Don't buy one vote more than necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide.'\" You can imagine how that captivated the audience.\n\nIn 1960, when he was campaigning in West Virginia, there was talk that Kennedy, never having been poor a day in his life, would not have any way to understand the problems of poor people. Not sure if this really happened, but he told me that after a campaign speech, a grizzled old coal miner came up to him and said, \"Senator, there's just one thing I want to tell you. That stuff those have said about you about never being poor, don't let that bother you none. I've been awfully poor, and I can say, you've not missed a damn thing.\"\n\nKennedy's Catholicism did not match in intensity the Cold War with the Soviet Union or other tensions in the world as an issue. And, thank God, it was not nearly as pivotal an issue as it had been in 1928. In the intervening years, I believe there had become a growing recognition that people had over-reacted and over-played their hands.\n\nKennedy did a great deal to help cultivate that calm among some poorly educated Protestants. I admired so much his courage, standing there in Houston before those prominent Protestant ministers from around the country. Bearing his breast, he told them exactly how he felt. It was a beautiful speech. I could sense a sensible mood among these people. They seemed content.\n\nThey seemed to recognize that some people of their faith had over-reacted. And that hostility had no place in this campaign. It still lingered, though, among some people. I made a statement afterward that Kennedy reminded me of Daniel in the lion's den. A few of my constituents got angry at me, accusing me of comparing Protestant ministers to lions. They were just looking for something to get shook up about.\n\nI'm glad I lived during the presidency of John F. Kennedy. It was a time when a man could have heroes and be unapologetic.\n\nExcerpt from Balance of Power: President and Congress from the Era of McCarthy to the Age of Gingrich, by Jim Wright \u00a9 1996 (Used with author's permission):\n\nOn that Friday morning, which today seems like an eternity ago, it would have been hard not to feel that the nation and this man who so perfectly symbolized it was their finest hour.... After his speech to the Fort Worth Chamber of Commerce, we flew to Dallas.... En route from Carswell Air Force Base to Dallas Love Field aboard Air Force One, I talked with President Kennedy. Someone had shown him a copy of the Dallas Morning News which contained a scurrilous display advertisement accusing the president of treason. What a boorishly rude and inhospitable thing! Any self-respecting newspaper, I thought, would have rejected such a vulgar advertisement on the day the president of the United States was visiting the city. Kennedy was puzzled by the extreme right-wing fanaticism that seemed to pervade the upper echelons of Dallas. What made the twin cities, Fort Worth and Dallas, so different, he asked.\n\nI was in the motorcade\u2014probably six cars behind the president. I heard the shots ring out. I thought at first it was a twenty-one gun salute. We were heading north toward the Texas School Book Depository Building where Oswald leaned out the window and shot him. We turned the corner and I saw the fallen president's body slump over. Suddenly, Jackie was on her knees crawling on the back of the car. Then the Secret Service agent jumped onto the car, pushing her down and throwing himself over both of them. Then the car rushed onto the highway toward the hospital. We followed it. I arrived as they were taking the president in on a stretcher. I looked into the back of the limousine and saw pools of blood and thought it must be fatal.\n\nIt was the strongest emotional roller coaster I've ever experienced. We had been so happy that morning. It was so triumphant to have the president appear in our town. He didn't ask for money. He didn't ask for votes. He spent his time thanking the citizens of Fort Worth for their service helping the nation's defenses over the years from the time of our municipal birth as a territory on the prairie saving the settlers from the ravages of the savage Comanches.\n\nIt was a marvelous speech. He said kind things about me, and his words impressed this young congressman. To have his president, in his town, talking to his people.\n\nThen, of course, at noon time we plunged into the depths of despondency. I don't know of anything career-wise that has rocked me as much as that tragedy. At the time his death was confirmed, we didn't know that Oswald had been arrested. I was worried it might be a conspiracy. My place was to stay in my home town until I found out what was going on. Of course, I flew back to Washington later that weekend for the funeral and burial.\n\nExcerpt from Balance of Power: President and Congress from the Era of McCarthy to the Age of Gingrich, by Jim Wright \u00a9 1996 (Used with author's permission):\n\nFor several days most of us moved about in a cloud. The trip back to Washington.... long queues of people, which streamed through the Capitol all Saturday night and into Sunday to pay respect at the casket as it lay in state in the rotunda.... the little boy, John, unaware of the finality of what had happened to his father, saluting the flag... the long, slow march to Arlington Cemetery... all this burned itself into our memories.\n\nJohn Kennedy was a great inspiration. He gave us hope, hope in which Americans can still take pride. I will always be grateful to have had the privilege of knowing him.\nSECTION EIGHT:\n\nThose with Humorous, Poignant, Quirky, and Tragic Encounters and Connections\n  Patricia Baillargeon\n\nAssistant to Eleanor Roosevelt\n\n\"After almost an hour, he obviously just couldn't bear being a bystander any longer. He threw down his cane and went running onto the field. My first thought was, 'If your back is that bad, how can you do that?'\"\n\nIN mid-1953, I started working for Eleanor Roosevelt at the United Nations Association in New York City, and a few months later, the weekend of January 30-31, 1954, I was visiting a friend in Washington, D.C. That Sunday morning, longtime friend from Washington State, U.S. Senator Henry (\"Scoop\") Jackson, took me to breakfast at the Mayflower Hotel and then to the \"Red Mass\" held annually for government leaders at St. Matthew's Cathedral when Congress convenes.\n\nPresident and Mrs. Eisenhower were there, as well as many judges, senators, and representatives\u2014including Senator John Kennedy and his wife Jacqueline. Although there was no opportunity to meet the senator after Mass, I was to have such an occasion later that day.\n\nIt was the custom for Senator Jackson and other Senate colleagues and staff members to gather in Georgetown on Sunday afternoons to play touch football. So a couple hours after the cathedral service, we joined his group at a Georgetown playfield. Jack Kennedy and his brother Robert had just arrived and \"Scoop\" introduced me to them before he (\"Scoop\") and Robert went into the game. I was more formally dressed for traveling on the train, which I did later that day, back to New York.\n\nSenator Kennedy, who was walking with a cane, was not dressed for football either. So he and I stood on the sidelines and visited. We talked about current issues, the United Nations, and touched on various lighter subjects and I greatly enjoyed our conversation. After almost an hour, he obviously just couldn't bear being a bystander any longer. He threw down his cane and went running onto the field.\n\nMy first thought was, \"If your back is that bad, how can you do that?\"\n\nBut, of course, we know now that it was that bad. He was to have serious surgery later that year. After about ten minutes, he returned to the sidelines and quickly grabbed his cane. He obviously was in pain.\n\nIn a letter to my parents in Seattle dated February 2, 1954, all I said of John and Robert Kennedy was, \"They are most attractive.\" Rather an understatement. My impressions of Jack Kennedy that afternoon were that he was extremely vigorous and delightfully bright, energetically involved in the issues of the day. He connected with people individually; he had a sparkle. To use today's vernacular, he had charisma. To a young woman in her twenties, he was very handsome and I enjoyed his sense of humor. And he laughed a lot.\n\nIt was in the Senate dining room a few weeks later that I again saw Jack Kennedy. I was in Washington for a day, and Kennedy said he remembered me. We had a very friendly chat and my first impressions were reinforced. I saw Senator Kennedy and later President Kennedy several more times, but always with groups of various sizes.\n\nIn 1960, after winning the Democratic nomination, Senator Kennedy continued his efforts to acquire Mrs. Roosevelt's endorsement. He knew how invaluable it would be in the tight race against Richard Nixon. Finally, Mrs. Roosevelt was ready to express her support for the senator and a date was set for a private meeting the second week of August in Hyde Park. The day before the meeting, Mrs. Roosevelt's granddaughter tragically was killed falling off a horse. Senator Kennedy offered to postpone, but Mrs. Roosevelt kept the appointment. Although I was not in Hyde Park that day, I can envision the two of them having luncheon alone at a table by the corner window in Mrs. Roosevelt's living room at Val-Kill Cottage.\n\nThe very last time I saw him was at a distance during his visit to Seattle in November of 1961, when he delivered a speech on foreign policy. President Kennedy was here to commemorate the one-hundredth anniversary of the University of Washington. His remarks, more than a half century ago, are of special interest in today's world:\n\n\"We must face problems which do not lend themselves to easy or quick or permanent solutions. And we must face the fact that the United States is neither omnipotent nor omniscient\u2014that we are only 6 percent of the world's population and that we cannot impose our will upon the other 94 percent of mankind\u2014that we cannot right every wrong or reverse each adversity, and that, therefore, there cannot be an American solution to every world problem.\"\n\nLate in the evening of November 21, 1963, I returned to Seattle from New York City after attending a meeting of the Rockefeller Panel on the Performing Arts, a group of national leaders preparing a report assessing the arts in America. I had been asked to issue a press release in Seattle about the panel's work. So, on the morning of the twenty-second, I called a friend who was a producer at KING-5 television, the NBC affiliate in Seattle. She informed me that the network had just received a news bulletin that President Kennedy had been shot. \"Turn on your TV,\" she said, and we both instantly rang off. I turned to a friend who was with me and said, \"Thank God Mrs. Roosevelt isn't here to see this.\"\n\nOf course, I was stunned and shocked like everyone else. Americans of my generation had never experienced the assassination of a president. That weekend, I attended a memorial Mass where about one thousand people of all faiths were pressed into the church and more were lining the street outside. Television scenes became lasting images in the minds of people throughout the United States and the world: the dramatic and surreal sight of Jacqueline Kennedy in her pink suit climbing on the back of the presidential limousine as the Secret Service agent rushes toward her. And, of course, the solemn riderless horse in the funeral procession.\n\nJohn Kennedy's presidency offered many lighter moments: his self-deprecating humor when, following Jackie's thunderous welcome in France, he introduced himself, saying, \"I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris, and I have enjoyed it.\"\n\nWhat is JFK's legacy? Perhaps it was the new focus on outer space or maybe his foreign aid program. But I think rather, most importantly, it was that he inspired several generations of Americans by his call to service: \"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.\" Certainly the Peace Corps is one remarkable legacy, not only for its peaceful involvement with recipient countries, but for providing many mainstream American adults with an in-depth experience and an understanding of world problems and cultures.\n  Dr. William Bernhard\n\nSurgeon who fought for thirty hours to save the life of Patrick Bouvier Kennedy\n\n\"He was a quick study... In my work, there usually is a lot of family emotion involved. There was no emotion in this. He was cool, but concerned. I've never talked about this experience publicly. It was all too sad.\"\n\nTHE hyperbaric tank belongs to the Industrial Medicine Department of the School of Public Health at Harvard, but it was accessible to Children's Hospital in Boston. And inside was a dreary, grubby room with a tank at one end, and in front of the tank was a relic rocking chair with some spokes missing. It also had some cracks in it. I remember sending a couple of my technicians to talk to the Secret Service agents and to tell them, \"Don't sit in the rocking chair.\"\n\nSo as the afternoon went on, President Kennedy came in. We had one of our chats (about his newborn son's condition), and immediately afterward, he leaped on to the rocking chair. He was rocking back and forth and really enjoying it. About the fourth or fifth rock, the whole thing came apart, and he went head over heels and landed on the cement floor. The Secret Service agents ran around frantically trying to pick him up, because he had back problems.\n\nAnd he got up laughing. He had a good sense of humor. Life was not all grim and gloomy to him.\n\nThat story sets the tone for what happened over the next two days.\n\nWe were doing research in this facility. I had some ideas that I wanted to increase the oxygenation of these very blue infants with congenital heart disease we were dealing with. If there was some way we could increase their arterial oxygen saturation, they might be a little more stable during anesthesia.\n\nThere was a second smaller chamber, a decompression chamber. Everyone who was in there for an hour or so had to go through decompression, so they would not have a nitrogen embolism. That second chamber was only about six or eight feet long. The only time I remember the president came in the decompression chamber was to get some food; he popped in to have a close look at the baby.\n\nDr. James Drorbaugh was selected to check this baby out in Hyannis. We were doing some research together on another project, and we knew each other quite well. Drorbaugh was the one they brought in, and they did not know what to do with this little kid. The child was obviously dying. He was a three-pound preemie. So the hyperbaric chamber was sort of the last resort.\n\nI was not paying attention to all the commotion outside, the police helicopters. Then I got a late phone call from Dr. Drorbaugh. He said, \"Things are not going well. Why don't you come up? Maybe we can do something for this little baby. \"\n\nI said, \"I'll come over. But I have avoided patients with lung disease in the past. I'm afraid I would damage their lungs with one hundred percent oxygen. I don't like to take any chances.\"\n\nHe said, \"Well, we don't have a lot of choices here, so if you're willing to come over, pop over and see him.\"\n\nSo I zipped over. I knew it was the son of the president, but I did not get involved with that. It was just another very sick baby. You can't be star-gazing. I was trying to figure out what I might be able to do. I had never treated anybody like this. The baby didn't have enough lung capacity to boost up his saturation. I listened to him and did not hear a lot of breath sounds, except in his upper chest. I wondered whether he had hypoplastic lungs, lungs that have lot of bronchioles that end up blunted. I didn't know whether he had hyaline membrane disease or hypoplastic lungs.\n\nSo we brought the infant down. We pumped the chamber up to three atmospheres absolute. Everything was all right, so we remained at three atmospheres absolute, about equivalent of the depth of sixty-six feet of sea water. Afterwards, we pressurized and checked the baby out. He was a little three-pounder, about as big as a small doll. And his chest was pumping away; his respirations were at least at one hundred. He was trying to stay alive, breathing one hundred percent oxygen.\n\nAfter about five or ten minutes, Drorbaugh, who was outside the chamber, said, \"His EKG looks better!\"\n\nThe baby's heart was getting a little more oxygen. We checked his saturation, and it had increased from about forty-five to fifty and then almost sixty. So that was a little improvement. Drorbaugh was overjoyed. So we continued at that pace and everything was very stable.\n\nThe baby was struggling, breathing about one hundred times per minute, despite a small improvement in oxygen saturation. He was still very short of breath.\n\nSo the president came in again and we had a little chat.\n\nI said, \"Things look improved on paper, but the baby doesn't appear any better, and I'm concerned we're not going to make out very well here.\"\n\nThe president said, \"Yeah, he looks like he's having a really hard time.\"\n\nI said, \"The deal is, he has to have enough energy to keep moving his diaphragm up and down. So he's burning fat.\"\n\nWe were giving him some glucose and water by vein, but we could never make up for the caloric loss he was sustaining by working so hard to breathe.\n\nSo I told the president, \"He's going to get tired if he keeps this up. And if we have to pick a moment as he gets tired to put an endotracheal tube in, get an anesthesiologist in here, and 'bag' him with one hundred percent oxygen to take over the load of his breathing, the chances of his survival are very, very slim.\"\n\nSo the president left again, and we continued on for a number of hours. I stayed the whole time. I couldn't bear to think of leaving the place, with nobody else knowing anything about it (function of the hyperbaric chamber), and no one there but technicians. There was no way I was going anywhere.\n\nAfter many more hours, it was sometime during the night, I got the feeling the baby was about ready to stop breathing. I watched the corners of his mouth. He seemed to be using accessory muscles plus his diaphragm.\n\nI said, \"Better get ahold of the anesthesia department.\" They sent a very good anesthesiologist over. He had not seen the baby before. He was pretty impressed that things were not looking very good, so he popped a tube in the trachea, taped it up and \"bagged\" him (assisted ventilation).\n\nAs soon as he \"bagged\" him, the baby stopped struggling. The baby looked absolutely peaceful because the anesthesiologist's hand was doing the work, rather than this infant.\n\nSo we continued on for another number of hours, but things basically did not improve.\n\nSaturation dropped back; his arterial saturation was in the upper fifties. All this time, he had hypertension in his right ventricle, that is, he had fetal circulation. This is the way the baby exists in the uterus. The lungs obviously are deflated\u2014there's no gas exchanged\u2014using the mother's arterial blood to keep the baby alive. The kid was having all these problems because he was receiving unsaturated blood.\n\nThere wasn't enough functioning lung to sustain life. And the baby died.\n\nThe president had been in three or four hours earlier, but he knew the baby probably wouldn't make it. So it was no shock to him.\n\nI never saw the president again. I had seen him four times over the previous several hours and in some cases we spent a fair amount of time together talking about what we\u2014the doctors\u2014were doing. He had been on the board of overseers at Harvard, and I did not want him to get too depressed about the School of Public Health tank facility. I did not want to say anything that would disturb the university's opinion of this facility used to instruct students.\n\nWe talked about a number of subjects. I had been a naval officer about two years after him. We talked quite a bit about the Navy.\n\nI never heard from him or anyone else in the family again. And I've never talked about this experience publicly. It was all too sad.\n\nJohn Kennedy was an amazing character. He was a diligent, caring parent, but he didn't bleed all over the floor. He kept his emotions to himself, made very intelligent inquiries, and was just the nicest person. He was very engaged. He wanted the best for his child, but he knew from the beginning it (the child's prognosis) was very bad.\n\nOn November 22, I was making rounds in the hospital seeing post-operative cardiac patients and the news of the assassination knocked me over. Someone had a radio in a patient's room. I just walked into it and got whacked in the face with this bad news. I remember blessing myself and saying a little prayer about it, because it really didn't fit. I couldn't put the whole thing together. I never gave the whole scenario any thought, that anybody would do anything like that.\n\nHe was inexperienced, but he was somebody who could make decisions. He was a typical young naval officer who had to make decisions all the time that could cause his death or the death of other people. When you're in that position, you have to quickly size things up and call some shots. He did that pretty well. The problem with him was that he was not experienced enough to know that other people were snookering him, like the Russians, for instance. They made light of him because he was young, and he was not sophisticated enough to know what they were doing, like loading missiles in Cuba. And the Bay of Pigs was the same thing; he got bad intelligence. Whether he should have been able to figure that out, I don't know.\n\nHe was a quick study; just the facts. You gave him the straight stuff, he got it, and that was it. In my work, there usually is a lot of family emotion involved. There was no emotion in this. He was cool, but concerned. Not many people can fall head over heels with a bad back onto a cement floor and come up laughing. I watched this and almost had a heart attack. I saw this man flip into the air, and I could not believe it.\n\nHe was a good person. He cared about other people, his family, and his children. He was a straight shooter. He was a good leader, a good man. I say a prayer for him. You should too.\n  Jim Boyd\n\nMedical student working at Parkland Memorial Hospital\n\n\"When I arrived home that night I told my wife, 'These socks have Lee Harvey Oswald's blood on them!' My wife replied, 'Do you want me to wash them or frame them?'\n\nON November 22, 1963, I was a student at The University of Texas Southwestern Medical School. My wife worked near the medical school, and she came to work early that day so she could take some time off to watch the motorcade in which President John Kennedy would be riding on his visit to Dallas. I recall her saying, \"I'll be delighted when he's out of town. The climate for the president in this city is not good.\"\n\nI was in school that day. But I also had a dental appointment at Baylor Dental School which was across town from the school. When I arrived in the waiting room, I noticed a crowd around a small television on the wall. I recall my friend, the dental student with whom I had an appointment, coming up to me and saying, \"The president's been shot. I don't think we'll be doing anything here today.\"\n\nI left the dental school and drove quickly to the student parking lot at Parkland Memorial Hospital which had not yet been cordoned off. I walked onto the floor that led to the emergency room. The blood bank was on the right and trauma room one, where the president lay, was directly across the hall. Somebody saw me and grabbed me, saying, \"We need your blood. Governor Connally is B-positive and we need your blood.\" So I lay down on the table and gave a pint of blood.\n\nAt about that time, Kennedy was being pronounced dead right across the hall.\n\nThe next day, I was wearing my surgical scrubs and went to the surgical area which was on the second floor. I went in through the back stairs since the ER area was secured. In fact, everything was pretty well locked down. There were men in uniform on the roof with submachine guns. I was wearing my white coat, and with some of my fellow medical students, went into the hospital library, where the news people had been sequestered. As soon as we walked in, the reporters descended on my colleagues and me, thinking we were big shots and could offer an update on Governor Connally's condition.\n\nOn Sunday morning, the twenty-fourth, I was on call with other medical students. We were sitting in the TV room adjacent to the operative suites and were watching as Lee Harvey Oswald was being transferred in the basement of the city jail. We watched Jack Ruby shoot him.\n\nOne of our colleagues said to us, \"You'd better get up and help the surgery room personnel get ready. There's our next patient.\"\n\nWe ran down there. Because of all the various gases used at that time in ER, we usually put on special shoes. I kicked off my street shoes and went into the surgery room in my stocking feet. A couple of operating room nurses were scrambling to get instruments. It took about fifteen minutes for Oswald to arrive, and by then, four of the surgeons who had tried to save the president's life two days earlier were washing up, ready to go to work. They, too, had been watching television and saw Oswald get shot.\n\nI did a cut down in his ankle to get an IV going as I stood there in my stocking feet. As you can imagine they got a bit bloody. Later that day, I took my socks off before going home. When I arrived home that night I told my wife, \"These socks have Lee Harvey Oswald's blood on them!\" My wife replied, \"Do you want me to wash them or frame them?\"\n\nOswald was shot in the perfect spot to do the most damage. The bullet went into the wall of his abdomen at an angle. It hit his liver, the aorta, and one of his kidneys. It disintegrated a complex series of blood vessels where the small intestine goes into the stomach. All of that was blown out. We pumped thirty units of O-negative blood into him as fast we could go, and it was all coming out of the holes inside him just as fast.\n\nFour excellent trauma surgeons worked on Oswald for half an hour. Later, Dr. Mac Perry, a great surgeon, was stepping back and stripping off his surgical gloves, remarked, \"I wish we had had that chance with the president. We had a shot at saving Oswald.\"\n\nKennedy's legacy is a family legacy\u2014bright people, charismatic. But flawed and nobody seemed to care. There remains a great deal of fascination with the Kennedys\u2014books, movies. John Kennedy brought youth and a certain energy to our country.\n  Lillian Brown\n\nMakeup artist for JFK and eight other presidents\n\n\"When you touch somebody's face you're getting pretty close to them. And either they were going to invite you back, or they would never invite you again.\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy as a senator on Face the Nation. He did eleven appearances on that program. He would call the producers and say, \"Do you want to make some news?\" And of course, they could not resist that. He read piles of newspapers every day; they were always scattered around him. And he was fascinated with cameras. He loved cameras and the cameras loved him.\n\nHe would ask questions of everybody in the studio. He would go to the lighting man and ask, \"How come I get those circles under my eyes?\" He would go to the audio man and say, \"How do you do this and that?\" And he would go to the camera man and say, \"How come these monitors don't match?\" He would ask dozens of questions, and I'm sure that he was determined to be the first television president, because we were just going from radio into television.\n\nHe was fascinated with the media and the media loved him back. No doubt about it.\n\nAt one point I suggested he get voice lessons. He had a strong Massachusetts or New England accent. The other thing he did, which I kidded him about, was during the Cuban Missile Crisis, he would pronounce it \"Cu-ber.\" I said, \"Jack, you should bring your speaking skills up to the level of some of your other skills. And bring your speaking voice to a more neutral tone.\" And he did it.\n\nAt that time, I was also teaching at Georgetown University. He would kid me and say, \"Why is a university professor doing makeup for a politician?\" And I said, \"Sir, I have three daughters to put through college by myself.\"\n\nJohn Kennedy was such a normal person. And yet, he was extraordinarily intelligent, and he would just milk everybody's brains. Everyone who came around him, if he thought they knew something he wanted to know, he would ask questions and try to find out everything he could. He thought that the people in television could guide him to become the kind of television personality he wanted to be. That's one of the reasons he was as successful as he was. And when you realize he made more than fifty appearances on television. And I said to him, \"Just make love to the camera.\" I would say things like that to him because he didn't care.\n\nOn television, he was superior as compared to all the other presidents since him and Eisenhower before him. It was because he worked so hard to study for it. He would say, \"Do you like this tie? How does this tie look on camera?\" And he would ask, \"Should I cross my legs?\" He would ask all these questions.\n\nAnd, of course, there were the debates in 1960. The first debate was in Chicago, not Washington. I couldn't go because of my classes, though I gave John Kennedy a compact, and I said, \"Before you go on the air, you go in and powder your nose.\" I did makeup for him before each of his nationally televised addresses. He did an unbelievable amount of advanced preparation. Reams of information. The point is: He always appeared knowledgeable about the subject.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was at the Washington Golf and Country Club. I had just finished giving a speech and came down, walked across the lobby, and was about to say good-bye to the girl at the front desk. She was white as a sheet. And I said, \"What's the matter?\" She could hardly speak the words. She was overcome. And I was overcome, too. I couldn't believe it and to this day, I don't know how I got home. I know I drove my car, but the whole time I was overcome with this terrible news.\n\nI was fascinated with this man, and I was, in a sense, a friend of his. Once we realized we worked so well together, he would call me to the White House frequently to prepare him for special appearances.\n\nI stayed home the whole weekend. I did not participate in the funeral, but I sure was impressed with what Jackie did. She was such a cultural person. He was so proud of her. Not just because she was so beautiful, but so brilliant. And when we did the White House tour in 1962 with (television newscaster) Charles Collingwood, the president was proud of her. They had a wonderful relationship.\n\nThe desk that he used? She found that in the White House basement where all this stuff was stored. The desk was first used by Rutherford B. Hayes and many other presidents after him, including Franklin Roosevelt. He loved the desk. I always, of course, carried a case with my makeup. And I would never, ever put that case on his desk. He always appreciated that. Other makeup people would set themselves up all over the place and put all this junk on his desk.\n\nHe carried a little bit of makeup I gave him in his pocket, and if he was somewhere else and about to go on television, he would use it. I've worked with nine presidents. When you touch somebody's face you're getting pretty close to them. And either they were going to invite you back, or they would never invite you again. Because of the accident with the PT boat, he was in constant pain. Excruciating pain. And when no one was around, he often walked with crutches. He never did it in public or when he thought he was being observed. But I sort of got closer to him than most people. What I would do is help him straighten up, because he would be leaning over in agony. He had that brace in his back. I would pretend to straighten his jacket at the shoulders, and I would push the palm of my hand into the small of his back, and just hold it there until he could straighten up, and look the way he ought to look on camera. Most people did not know the extent of the agony he was in all the time. It was unremitting.\n\nHe had numerous advisors and was always asking as nearest as he could get to the truth. It was incredible to walk into the Oval Office when he was by himself at the desk and didn't care how things looked. There would be newspapers everywhere.\n\nHis legacy? John Kennedy was not only handsome, well-educated, but he was a president who really cared for his country and really followed his ideals, responded to the needs of the people.\n  Josiah Bunting III\n\nMilitary officer, educator, foundation executive\n\n\"(His administration) may have been on the verge of committing an overwhelming sin of intellectual and strategic arrogance with regard to Vietnam.\"\n\nI met President Kennedy approximately one month before graduation from VMI (Virginia Military Institute). It was May of 1963. We were in the middle of a series of centennial Civil War celebrations. The VMI Corps had fought in a battle quite famous at New Market, Virginia. The senior class at VMI typically in the spring went on a two or three-day visit to Washington, visiting various military posts and seeing the sights.\n\nHe was wearing a navy blue suit, and of course, he had that famous wide grin. The aide introduced him to our commandant, and then the commandant introduced me to the president. I was what was called the first captain, which is the senior cadet commander. I was very full of myself. The president came right over and stuck out his hand, saying \"It is a pleasure to meet you.\" Then he said in his distinct accent, \"Mr. Bunting, I understand you are a Rhodes Scholar.\"\n\nI replied, \"Yes, sir.\"\n\nAnd he said, \"Well that's wonderful. You have a wonderful time in England and at Oxford.\"\n\nThen he stood back and said, \"Well, it's a pleasure to have all of you here.\" And then he gave us a talk about the Green Berets, about unconventional warfare, and he mentioned Southeast Asia. At that time we already had advisors there.\n\nWhen he finished, there was applause; there may have been a question or two. And then I went up to thank him, and I said, \"Mr. President, you may not know this, but as our Commander-in-Chief, it is well within your authority to grant unconditional amnesty to all the cadets who are in trouble back at VMI. This is a traditional thing.\" And he laughed. When I say \"in trouble,\" typically it is what is called \"room confinement\" or \"marching penalty tours\" where you march up and down the courtyard with a rifle for an hour because of some relatively minor problem.\n\nHe said, \"Of course, that should be done.\"\n\nI can see it still. He waved his hand in the air and made everybody very happy. Then he went back inside and Major General Clifton (JFK's military aide) spoke to us for a moment or two and then we got back on our busses and on to our next appointment.\n\nWe just thought this man was remarkable. We wanted to follow him. I don't remember even being conscious of whether he was a Republican or a Democrat. He was a war hero. He was a strong guy. He is what we once had in political leaders. The only thing I can compare it to is that period when we had the Marshall Plan. That was a period comparable in its achievement to and in America's stature in the world. You had the sense that America was still looked at as a fount of goodwill and generosity. In the early days of JFK, really the whole time of JFK, we had that feeling. Idealism and unabashed patriotism. And optimism. The idea, \"We'll get it right.\"\n\nIn those days nobody cared about People magazine. Nobody cared about owning a house in the Hamptons. Nobody had ever heard of a Lexus. Celebrity was not a big thing. We wanted to be in the Peace Corps. Or the Marine Corps. Or we wanted to be priests. Or get PhDs. This American fixation on running a hedge fund\u2014we didn't care about that. I'm not sure we'll ever recapture that time or that feeling.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was in the middle of dinner at Christ Church Hall at Oxford. Suddenly, the dean of the college stood up and said, \"I must tell you the awful news that the American president has been felled by an assassin at Dallas, in Texas.\"\n\nI went back to my room to listen to the Armed Forces European Network. I got the news broadcast for the next couple of hours. All of the coverage was on the assassination and of Kennedy.\n\nI still have an achingly vivid memory of it. The cathedral was packed. Oxford is very international and many of the kids there were not American. But the one memory I have which is so vivid is that I was at the back of the cathedral. The pews in front of me were all crowded. And virtually everybody was holding onto each other; rows of people with their arms around each other's waists and shoulders. I can hardly describe the pathos of that moment.\n\nI thought of a famous line of William Wordsworth's, who said of being young during the time of the French Revolution: \"Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven.\" For my generation\u2014people who were eighteen, twenty, or twenty-two years old at that time, the early 1960s\u2014it was heaven.\n\nI was probably not in a completely rational state. The bereavement of others was for the country, or what would happen to the world. I thought of Mrs. Kennedy; I'm not sure why. She was very much a part of JFK.\n\nWe have to remind ourselves that his presidency was cut short. It was an unfinished work. I think of the fact that he and Senator (Barry) Goldwater had discussed flying together from city to city in the '64 campaign and debating. Kennedy was someone with whom everything was comfortable: exchanging strategic, political, and intellectual ideas at a time when partisanship did not pollute; a relatively easy, comfortable, and friendly intercourse among members of the two parties.\n\nMost of that generation of people highly placed in politics were veterans of the Second World War. They had that commonality of experience. When someone tells you that George McGovern flew thirty-five missions in a B-24 Liberator over Germany, it's hard to hate him and castigate him as a member of a far out party. Rather, he's an American patriot with whom you might disagree.\n\nI think John Kennedy's presidency was extraordinary and extraordinarily successful. It wasn't perfect. And it may have been on the verge of committing an overwhelming sin of intellectual and strategic arrogance with regard to Vietnam. It's a fairly short distance from the remark in his inaugural address, \".... that we shall pay any price, bear any burden.... to assure the survival and the success of liberty,\" to actually implementing a foreign policy which turns out to be based on faulty premises. Again, we just don't know. It was an unfinished presidency.\n\nAs a result, I rank his presidency very high, but with the provision that what followed from it was quite ugly. When you look at what people call \"the sixties,\" they're not talking about 1960 to 1964. They're talking about 1967 to 1973. This was a very different time. Young people today have no understanding of the turmoil that occurred.\n\nAnd JFK lived like what I thought was an American patriot of his time. Now we are losing one thousand members a day of the World War II generation\u2014people in their late eighties and early nineties\u2014and one of the things everybody says about these people is that it's hard to get them to talk. The phrase they use\u2014and you do not hear this much anymore\u2014is that \"I was in the service.\" And they leave it at that. It was something you just did. Kennedy was part of that generation.\n  Arthur \"Andy\" Carlson\n\nArmy officer who led riderless horse \"Black Jack\" in funeral\n\n\"...(T)hat misbehaving horse, knew he was doing wrong, and I was furious with him. But I was told that some of the TV commentators talked about the horse as a symbol of the deceased president.\"\n\nON November 22, I was doing laundry at a laundromat across the street from the stables at Fort Meyer, Virginia. I saw people clustered around a car, listening intently to the car radio. So I walked over there to see what they were listening to. And when I heard the news, I said to myself, \"Well, I'd better get back to the stables. My day off is over.\"\n\nSince the Army's Third Infantry Regiment, \"The Old Guard,\" is the president's escort, I knew we'd have a very large role in his funeral. We had no idea what arrangements had been\u2014or would be\u2014made, but we knew we'd be involved it.\n\nI had a lot more esteem for the role of accompanying the riderless horse than most did. And I thought it should be done well because it obviously affected the family.\n\nYou see, the family is riding right behind the caisson and the horse. They are looking at this horse throughout the funeral procession. It's important to give a good appearance\u2014just in front of the deceased President's family.\n\nI was the first one who started spit-shining the boots in the stirrups. Previously, others would just brush shine them. I thought, \"People are going to be looking at these boots; they ought to have their best appearance.\"\n\nBlack Jack, that misbehaving horse, knew he was doing wrong, and I was furious with him. But I was told that some of the TV commentators talked about the horse as a symbol of the deceased president.\n\nBut Black Jack had one bad trait that always bothered me: a runny nose. He would wipe it on my back, or he would blow it on me. And I'd come in from a funeral at the cemetery with horse snot all down my right side. So I started before every funeral to take out my handkerchief and swab out his nostrils. Not during the funeral or out in public, of course, but before the funeral started.\n\nI was mission-oriented; this is my job. I wanted to do it the very best I could. Emotions are for later. On the flyover at the gravesite service, when Air Force One flew over alone, I allowed myself to get choked up then. After that, it was just exhaustion.\n\nThe next day, we were back to our regular routine. People were still dying, people needed to be buried.\n\nThere were things I would have done differently. I would have asked on the second day if I could put a martingale on him. That's a strap from the bit of the bridle to the girth around the horse's bridle that limits how high a horse can raise its head. Black Jack was raising his head as high as he could. The martingale would have taken a lot of strain off my arm.\n\nI also would have asked if I could ride across the Potomac River in a vehicle on the second day, rather than walk him to save energy. I walked from the Fort Meyer stables to the Capitol, then to the White House, then to St. Matthew's Cathedral, then back across the river to Arlington National Cemetery. At the time, I thought, \"I'll walk with him. I'll talk with him. I'll make sure he was settled down and OK.\"\n\nI learned later the horse's behavior was not a fluke. He was just going back to his early days. I got a call a few years ago from a man who said, as a soldier, he was the first to walk Black Jack. He said when Black Jack got to Fort Myer, where the stables are located, this horse was wild. He said they had to work with the horse for six months before Black Jack could be calm enough to be used in a funeral. And, even then, he would dance around a lot.\n\nAt an Old Guard reunion, one gentleman older than me said he had walked Black Jack one time. His instructions were: \"The horse knows its job: get behind the caisson, follow the caisson, but don't get too close to the caisson, or he'll eat all the felt off the back.\" But Tom failed to mind the other end, and Black Jack once kicked in the door of a car.\n\nI received about one hundred cards and letters after the funeral. They were all complimentary. People wrote me about what they thought of my performance and what it did for them. And I received an Army commendation medal for my participation in the president's funeral.\n\nAs a nation, we were sad and angry. Most people alive then, if you ask them where they were when they heard the news of Kennedy's assassination, they can tell you. To this day.\n\nIt was a traumatic experience for people old enough to understand it. Whether you voted for Kennedy, or you didn't vote for him. Or weren't old enough to vote. The nation was in shock and that misbehaving horse gave them something to focus on. A military funeral is very somber. But Black Jack gave the public some emotional relief.\n  Robert Dellwo\n\nAttorney and county Democratic chairman\n\n\"Bobby and Ted were 'doers,'... and were expected to take care of their older, prominent brother... 'the boys,' as we called them, were always busy attending to details.\"\n\nIN 1960, I was the Democratic Party Chairman for Spokane County, Washington, as well as the county chair for the Kennedy for President Campaign. It was at this time that I first met Jack Kennedy. He came to Spokane to give the keynote speech at the Jefferson-Jackson Day banquet at the Davenport Hotel. He arrived early that day and we spent the day together.\n\nFirst, he drove with me and members of my committee to Whitworth College, where he spoke in the campus auditorium. It was here that I first realized what an attraction he was. The auditorium was packed and everyone cheering. Then we hastened back to Spokane for an event at Gonzaga University gymnasium. I remember walking up and seeing a line of people waiting to get in.\n\nOf course, that evening was the big speech. The Davenport Hotel ballroom was packed and after his remarks, the reception line was long\u2014about four people wide and stretching for what appeared to be at least one hundred yards. I was bird-dogging it, to make sure everything was going well.\n\nKennedy started at the head of the line and was greeting and shaking hands with everyone.\n\nAfter a while, he took me aside and said, \"Robert, I've got a problem. I've got to be back in Boston tomorrow morning.\"\n\nSo I took him through the hotel's kitchen and out a rear exit where I had a car parked. We were driven out to the airport and he got into his private plane. We had him there within fifteen or twenty minutes. I almost expected him to toot the horn as he flew over. All those people still in line at the hotel thought they'd be shaking Jack's hand by the time they got to front of the line.\n\nAfter he was elected president, I made many trips to Washington, both as a representative of the Amateur Athletic Union and as a representative of several Indian tribes. I would often go by the White House, and if he was not available, would just slip a note to his secretary, a note of greetings.\n\nBobby and Ted were \"doers,\" from my perspective, and were expected to take care of their older, prominent brother. They showed Jack respect and dignity. Jack had a dignity about him, and \"the boys,\" as we called them, were always busy attending to details.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was driving east of Spokane to a meeting of one of my legal clients\u2014a local water district board. I stopped at a restaurant, which had rooms in the back, where the meeting was to take place. As I was walking through the restaurant, someone, in an insipid, antagonistic voice said, \"Did you hear about the death of Jack Kennedy?\" And another person replied, \"Yes, I heard about it and we're rid of the guy now.\"\n\nI was shocked and got back into my car immediately and drove to the county courthouse. There were tears in my eyes. I walked into the courtroom of the presiding judge, who happened to be Ralph Foley, the father of the future Speaker of the House Tom Foley. Judge Foley, who had aspirations to be a federal judge, was informing people in his courtroom that the president had been assassinated. He asked everyone to sit side-by-side in a kind of semicircle and he led a discussion about what people thought would be the impact of the president's death on the nation.\n\nAt one point, he called on me. I couldn't speak; I just cried.\n  Phyllis Elkins\n\nWaitress at Jim's Steak and Spaghetti House, Huntington, West Virginia\n\n\"He looked up at me, and he said, 'Do you mind having your picture made with me?'... And when I said, 'My pleasure,' he just busted out laughing because we talk kind of South-like here in West Virginia.\"\n\nIT was in the morning, and it was really good weather. It was a nice day. He came in and sat in my station. There were three of them. Senator Kennedy, Congressman Hechler, and the other gentleman, David Fox, who has passed away. They were having coffee.\n\nHe looked up at me, and he said, \"Do you mind having your picture made with me?\"\n\nI was pouring coffee, and I said, \"My pleasure.\"\n\nAnd when I said, \"My pleasure,\" he just busted out laughing because we talk kind of South-like here in West Virginia. And that's when they snapped the picture.\n\nHe didn't walk around to meet people. He just sat at the table and talked to the other two gentlemen. They only had coffee. And I don't remember if he gave me a tip.\n\nHe was such a gentleman. He was wonderful. And good looking! He stayed about an hour. He had a great smile, he really did.\n\nOn November 22, I was at work at Jimmie's. Someone ran into the restaurant and told us that President Kennedy had been shot. And I just bawled. I cried and I cried. And I still cry when I think about it.\n\nJimmie closed the restaurant for the weekend. She had a television for us. And she let us\u2014the employees\u2014stay there. We didn't do anything. We just sat at the counter and watched. The whole weekend. And it broke our hearts. And I'm crying right now. It was horrible.\n\nI will never forget him. I felt close to him. I don't know why. But I did\u2014and I still do. He had a big impact on me.\n\nThat picture has been up there\u2014in the restaurant\u2014forever. The customers who come in know that was me in the photo, even though sometimes I was working the grill, not handling tables. I was really good on the grill.\n\nI wish he hadn't been assassinated, because I think he would have really done this country, this world, great. He was the only president I really loved. I really cared about him. He's always been close to my heart. And always will be.\n  Richard Gaudreau\n\nMilitary pallbearer\n\n\"Under my breath, I was saying to the cardinal, 'Come on, just get it over with!' He took the holy water and he said some words in Latin and then he blessed it. Finally, he finished, after six or seven minutes. We, the casket team, all drew from within and said, 'We'll get through this.' And we did.\"\n\nON November 22, I was stunned initially to hear over the radio that the president had been shot and possibility killed. Upon notifying the master sergeant, I was instructed to conduct a recall of all USAF Honor Guard personnel. All leaves were cancelled. I later learned the president's body was being flown back to Andrews and was instructed to assemble a team of Air Force pallbearers and to proceed to Andrews and stand by.\n\nAt Andrews, I was informed that the Joint Service Casket Team, composed of representatives from all the armed forces, would not handle the president's casket. The Secret Service personnel would do that. I felt that was odd and that we should have taken it from the lift truck. Air Force One arrived at about six o'clock, and I wound up helping place the casket into the ambulance. Like many Americans watching this live on television, the most vivid memory I have is seeing the bloodstains and other matter on Mrs. Kennedy's dress and stockings.\n\nThen I flew with the other members of the casket team by helicopter from Andrews to Bethesda Naval Hospital. There was some confusion regarding the arrival of a hearse at our location only to have it speed away without reason. After some ten or fifteen minutes waiting, the ambulance with Mrs. Kennedy and the president's body arrived. We were instructed at that time that Brigadier General Godfrey McHugh, the president's Air Force aide, would be helping our casket team to carry the casket. I thought, \"Why is this?\" We could handle this without his help.\n\nLater we were told to proceed to the hospital loading dock to bring in a new casket and place it in the autopsy room and to take the old casket and place on the loading dock. This was done because the first casket was damaged loading it onto Air Force One in Dallas. I later learned the old casket was dumped somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.\n\nAfter the autopsy, we placed the president's casket into a hearse, and were directed to the vehicles that would transport us (the casket team) to the White House. Upon arrival at the White House, we formed up and proceeded to carry the casket inside the East Room where it was placed on the catafalque.\n\nLater, the casket team was expanded to eight members because of the weight of the coffin and the ceremony that would have the team carry it up the steps of the Capitol on Sunday. They didn't want it tilted coming down or going up, so we practiced carrying a casket at the Tomb of the Unknown Solider for six or seven hours. We used a \"dummy casket\" weighing only about four hundred pounds. The president's weighed more than seven hundred pounds. As a result, we had a guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier lie in the casket and carried him.\n\nAll of the ceremonies went well except at the end of the service at St. Matthew's Cathedral. Cardinal Cushing wanted to bless the casket. The casket team came down a set of stairs. The flag was raised in front, and we stood at attention holding this very heavy casket. Under my breath, I was saying to the cardinal, \"Come on, just get it over with!\" He took the holy water and he said some words in Latin and then he blessed it. Finally, he finished, after six or seven minutes. That may not sound like a long time, but it really was. Now we had to carry the president's body to the middle of the street, raise the casket up again, place it onto the horse-drawn caisson. We, the casket team, all drew from within and said, \"We'll get through this.\" And we did. We were physically exhausted.\n\nWhat is John Kennedy's legacy? That is so hard to put into words. I would have liked to see him finish what he started, that is to complete the four years and be re-elected to a second term. The one big item that stands out in my mind was his commitment to place a man on the moon. It happened six years after his death. It was such an achievement for the United States.\n  Mike Gefroh\n\nLittle Leaguer who caught a ceremonial first pitch\n\n\"The Kennedys were a catalyst for changing the American way of life for the next generation.\"\n\nIN 1960, I was twelve years old at the opening day of the Riverside Little League in Portland, Oregon. A huge crowd was present, maybe a thousand people. The parking lot was jam packed; everybody's family was there as well as all the media people. Senator John Kennedy was scheduled to throw out the first pitch.\n\nThere was an opening ceremony with a color guard and the national anthem. I was one of three players chosen to participate\u2014my role was to catch the first pitch. I'm not sure why I was selected, maybe because I was a catcher and Catholic. The whole nation\u2014particularly Catholics\u2014was abuzz with Kennedy's candidacy.\n\nHe stood on the mound, threw the pitch, and I caught it. No one explained to me that when I caught it, I was supposed to walk it back out to him. So I threw it back to him. He wasn't ready for it, and the ball flew between him and (the Little League President) as they were shaking hands. Another player brought the ball back to me, and I walked it out to Senator Kennedy. He was very cordial, very dignified, and very well dressed. He said in his Boston accent, \"You've got quite an arm there, young man.\" He autographed the ball, handed it back to me, and shook my hand.\n\nOn November 22, I was a junior at Central Catholic High School in Portland. During third period American history class, the principal came on the PA system. He spoke very slowly, trying to remain composed. He announced that President Kennedy had been shot in Dallas, Texas.\n\nWe all said a prayer and later, after lunch, it was announced that he had died. I was sad, of course, and the whole nation, especially the Catholic community, was distraught. School continued that day. The next day, or maybe the day after, there was a special memorial Mass at school. I remember the nuns crying.\n\nKennedy made me more aware of politics and current events. I remember watching the 1960 Democratic Convention with him running against Lyndon Johnson and Stuart Symington for the nomination. The suspense of the balloting was a terrific initiation into the political process.\n\nWhat's his legacy? He and his family were kind of like American royalty. I remember watching Jackie Kennedy's tour of the White House on TV and the Hyannis Port crowd playing touch football on Thanksgiving. President Kennedy got us to the moon and started many innovative programs, including the Peace Corps. We went from the post-war recovery days of the fifties to something much more progressive.\n\nThe Kennedys were a catalyst for changing the American way of life for the next generation.\n  Frank Greer\n\nSenate page, media advisor to U.S. Presidents William Jefferson Clinton and Barack Obama\n\n\"It's like I was Forrest Gump\u2014a witness to history.\"\n\nI was born and raised in Alabama, and in 1963, at age fifteen, I went to Washington as a page for Senator John Sparkman. I was able to attend a few social events at the White House and met John Kennedy and his wife. I was in awe of him, and like so many people of that era, I admired and deeply respected him as a political force.\n\nHis presidential campaign was a major inspiration in my life. In my ninth grade social studies class at Tuscaloosa High School, we followed the campaign, and as an assignment, had to study and document one of the campaigns. Of course, I was the only one who followed Kennedy. Mine was an all-white school and there was another all-black high school.\n\nAs a kid growing up in the segregated South, I admired his courage on civil rights. There were other major figures who were inspiring at that time, such as Dr. Martin Luther King and A. Philip Randolph. John Kennedy also looked outward toward others and toward the world. He wanted America to be respected around the world.\n\nIn June of 1963, I heard there was going to be a big confrontation at the University of Alabama, which was three blocks from my house: The university was going to be integrated. And Governor George Wallace was going to \"stand in the schoolhouse door\" to prevent the integration. So I got on my bicycle, rode down to Foster Auditorium, and crawled under a table. I was ten or fifteen feet away when (Deputy Attorney General) Nicholas Katzenbach arrived to face George Wallace, the little bantam rooster that he was. Then Mr. Katzenbach read a federal court order. The next day, a young black woman, Vivian Malone, was admitted to the University of Alabama. I watched that unfold.\n\nIn August of 1963, Senator John Sparkman's office offered me a page appointment. I took the train\u2014the Southern Crescent\u2014to Washington, got off at Union Station, walked out the front door, and looked up and saw the Capitol. I went to the Senator's office and said, \"I'm Frank Greer and I'm here to go to work.\" A few weeks later, I heard there was going to be a civil rights march on Washington. Having gone through the searing experience of the struggle for civil rights in the South, I walked out of my rooming house, and headed down the Mall in Washington. I was astounded to see other white people, including many from labor unions\u2014the United Auto Workers, the steel workers, and the AFL-CIO, who were supporting civil rights.\n\nI had my page identification, this official-looking badge, and I convinced the security people that they should let me up close to the stage. I talked my way up onto the platform and sat down. Later that day, I was ten feet away when the Rev. King gave his famous \"I Have a Dream\" speech.\n\nIt's like I was Forrest Gump\u2014a witness to history.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was on the floor of the Senate working as a page and was called to the cloakroom. I was handed a note and told to give it to Senator Wayne Morse of Oregon. I ran into the chamber with a note saying, \"The president has been shot.\" Senator Morse then walked over and informed Senator Ted Kennedy, who was presiding over the Senate.\n\nOn the following Monday, many of us congressional pages volunteered to assist in the funeral. Several senators and we were bussed to Arlington National Cemetery and watched as the procession crossed the Memorial Bridge and came up the hill. At the gravesite, I stood near Haile Selassie and Charles De Gaulle.\n\nNineteen sixty-three was a searing year and an amazing experience. The events of that year were fundamental in my commitment to pursue a career in politics and non-profit service. I was, in many ways, a witness to history, and John Kennedy was a major positive force in my life and the life of our nation. He truly inspired a generation of young Americans, including Bill Clinton.\n\nI was inspired by John Kennedy's call to public service, his commitment to make politics an honorable profession, and, of course, his famous line in the inaugural address, \"Ask not...\" He was an outward-looking, a forward-looking leader, who inspired the nation and the world. Of course, I also admired his book Profiles in Courage. Regrettably, today, we have few profiles in courage. In this age of partisanship and selfish parochial politics, John Kennedy was unselfish. He inspired us to think about others, to think beyond our own self-interests. He called us to think about what was best for the nation and the people of the world.\n\nJohn Kennedy also transformed American politics. He demonstrated the power of television and, since his death, he has taught generations how to inspire with one's words and one's style.\n  Ron Hall\n\nArtist, art dealer, author, coincidental bystander to assassination\n\n\"I said, 'The president's been shot? My goodness, he's right in front of us!'\"\n\nON November 22, 1963, I was eighteen years old, and we (my two friends and I) were sitting on the hood of my car. We were parked right directly below the Texas School Book Depository Building. Earlier we had been stopped by the police. We were not aware that Kennedy was coming downtown. It was just a coincidence\u2014a way of God remaining anonymous. My friends and I were trying to get to TCU (Texas Christian University)\u2014I was a freshman at East Texas State University, and my friends and I had dates with some rich sorority girls at TCU. We were just country boys thinking we were in high cotton because we were going to TCU and had dates for their homecoming. So we were in a hurry to get to TCU.\n\nA policeman stood in front of us as we were going through the downtown on Elm Street and were stopped. Ours was the last car that did not get stopped.\n\nWe asked him, \"What's the problem?\"\n\nThe officer said, \"The presidential motorcade is getting ready to pass. You'll have to wait until they pass before you can continue on.\"\n\nI said, \"OK, we've got a good seat!\"\n\nSo we got out of the car and sat on the hood and waited about five minutes. We were facing west on Elm Street, probably twenty-five or thirty feet away from the Book Depository building. While we were waiting, the crowd began to fill in around our car and in the street around us.\n\nAll of a sudden, we saw the presidential motorcade coming, and just in front of us, the motorcade had to take a hard left turn. We saw the president. We waved. They waved. Everybody waved. As the president passed in front of us and made the turn, we were not interested in anything else except getting into our car and busting through the crowd as soon as it eased up so we could get on to TCU.\n\nSo we jumped into the car to drive away and that's when the crowd started going everywhere. We didn't hear any gunshots, but we had the radio on. At that time, the limousine was probably fifty yards in front of us. The street in front of us was clear, so we drove off.\n\nAt this point, the president's limousine was about two hundred yards in front of us, just passed the grassy knoll area. So we were one of the first cars on the road behind the presidential car. At the time, people were running, but we didn't have a clue as to what was going on. So fifteen or thirty seconds later, we were at the grassy knoll, and a radio announcer said the president's been shot.\n\nI said, \"The president's been shot? My goodness, he's right in front of us!\"\n\nWe just kept chasing them. They turned onto the Stemmons Freeway going north, and we followed them as fast as we could to catch up to them. We probably were no more than three hundred or four hundred yards behind. And only one or two police cars were between us. Ours was the first civilian vehicle behind them. We passed the Trade Mart, where he was supposed to be having lunch. The radio was announcing the president's been shot. We kept following and pulled into Parkland Memorial Hospital, into the parking lot.\n\nThey had pulled up unto a carport. We did not see them take the president out of the car into the hospital. It was kind of eerie. There were not a lot of people in the parking lot. We stayed in the car, and we were about a hundred feet from the limousine at that time. We knew not to get out because we already were treading on thin ice just being there. We had no agenda; we just happened to end up there. Just to be there was incredible enough. We were listening to the radio and sat there for about thirty minutes, thinking he might come back out, and we would get to see him again.\n\nFinally, a Secret Service-looking guy with dark glasses said, \"What are you boys doin'?\"\n\nI said, \"We were just waiting here, maybe to see the president.\"\n\nHe said, \"You all better get on out of here.\"\n\nWe said, \"Yes sir.\"\n\nBy the time we got back on the freeway, they were saying (on the radio) that the president was dead.\n\nI thought, \"Wow. I just cannot believe he's dead.\"\n\nWe went to TCU, and of course, all the homecoming events were cancelled. I left my friends there\u2014they were going to stay at the dorm\u2014and went to my parents' house and stayed there. It was somber and everybody just watched the television. We were glued to the TV.\n\nOn Sunday, as we were going to church, they started saying, \"Oswald's been shot.\" And we thought, \"Oh my gosh.\"\n\nIt was a feeling of sadness and heaviness. You didn't know really what was going to happen in the world. I had never seen a funeral for a president or a fallen leader before: the horse-drawn carriage carrying the coffin, the president's widow in black and wearing a black veil, their son saluting the casket. These images are burned on my visual memory.\n\nWhenever I think of Kennedy, of course, I think of the assassination. I don't really think of him having accomplished so much as a president; he wasn't in office that long. He was the president associated with civil rights and integration. I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis and was worried we night have a nuclear war with the Soviets.\n\nI think of him as the assassinated president and me being one of the last of a few hundred people who saw him alive. Within five seconds after I took my eyes off of him, he was dead.\n  Catharine Hamm\n\nTravel writer and editor, Catholic who still grieves\n\n\"I felt my world tilt. She asked us to observe silence. I don't remember whether she told us to pray. In my case, she didn't have to; I knew what our priests and nuns would have said.\"\n\nWEEKS before President Kennedy was killed, my father and mother had taken my middle sister and me to a parade honoring the president in downtown Honolulu. Kennedy, it seemed to me, had a sort of aura around him, and that smile was enough to melt even a nine-year-old's heart.\n\nI might have been predisposed to be enamored of this Irish Catholic president. My grandfather had once likened my mother's countenance to the \"map of Ireland.\" My grandfather died before I was born so I never got to know him, except through her. I knew she adored her father, who was as Irish as Paddy's pig.\n\nAnd I also knew that being Irish and Catholic wasn't necessarily something one flaunted in those days. There were still people who believed there was some kind of papal conspiracy and that Catholics hid guns in preparation for the overthrow. My mother never denied her roots, but it wasn't until Kennedy was elected that she fully embraced her heritage. He was like a gift from heaven to her and her family, and from then on, she instilled a sense of pride about both Irishness and Catholicism in us, her three daughters.\n\nMy dad didn't have quite the same fascination and might actually have voted for Nixon, which would explain why things were a little tense during the campaign. But by 1963, we had moved from Washington, D.C., to Hawaii, a heavily Democratic state. My father, ever the dedicated civil servant, finally acknowledged that a torch had, indeed, passed to a new generation\u2014his. Like Kennedy, he had been \"tempered by war.\" So complicated, so far above my understanding.\n\nAs a kid living in Hawaii, life was one giant playground. We worked hard\u2014fourth grade was demanding at Aikahi Elementary School in Kailua\u2014and we played hard. Few days were not play days and many days were beach days. It doesn't get better than that.\n\nThat day in November started like many others\u2014leave for school, take off shoes out of mom's sight, walk the rest of the way, and scurry into class, where Mrs. Uehara kept us under control with a firm, but not unkind hand. She returned to the classroom that morning tear-stained and told us the president had been shot and was dead.\n\nI felt my world tilt.\n\nShe asked us to observe silence. I don't remember whether she told us to pray. In my case, she didn't have to; I knew what our priests and nuns would have said.\n\nReleased from school, we gathered in the corridors. It was quiet, except for an outburst by a kid named Cindy who said she was glad that Kennedy was dead. We shushed her, and in typical elementary school fashion, told her she was stupid and offered to beat her senseless.\n\nWhen we got home, my mother had the TV on and we watched, as we did for the next three days, the scenes play out over and over. Johnson being sworn in. Jackie Kennedy near him in her bloodstained suit. Lee Harvey Oswald and the improbability of Jack Ruby stepping forward and turning a tragedy into a sickening mystery.\n\nOver and over and over again. We couldn't stop watching.\n\nOur house was quiet for days. It's too simple to say that life was never the same again, even for a kid. Our icon was gone, but his message to us\u2014be proud of who and what you are\u2014has suffused our lives.\n  Terri Hazeleur\n\nLed thirty-one girls walking all night to meet the president\n\n\"He asked me how far we had walked. I told him thirty-five miles. He looked down at my bare feet and grinned and said, 'Well, next time, make it fifty.'\"\n\nJOHN Kennedy was very charismatic and youthful. Young people really liked him. My dad was involved in his election campaign. He was a staunch Democrat and chairman of the Democratic Party for Trinity County (California). In fact, he received an invitation to the inaugural ball in 1961, but we didn't have a lot of money. My father was a logger; he worked in the summer, but in the winter he didn't work at all. So, we could never have afforded to go. But it was quite an honor to be invited.\n\nI was fifteen years old and wanted to meet the president (who was coming to dedicate a nearby dam). But I thought the chances were really slim. So, we organized this thirty-five mile hike and thought we would get attention that way to meet him. We started the night before the president's visit; thirty-two girls hiking with flashlights over Buckhorn Mountain. My mom and dad and aunt supervised; they drove their car back and forth and brought us drinks and food. Our flashlights died out in the middle of the night.\n\nWe arrived at about five in the morning. President Kennedy arrived around ten. There were a bunch of chairs laid out for the audience, so we plopped ourselves on the chairs. We were tired. The reporters, who were already there, said, \"Oh you girls, these chairs are for the dignitaries. You get out of here.\"\n\nLater as the president was delivering his speech, someone said, \"Let all these girls in here.\" So we were allowed to sit with the dignitaries. After his speech, he started walking down a fenced-off area to meet members of the crowd. All of a sudden, one of the Secret Service agents said, \"The President of the United States would like to meet Terri Hodgetts.\"\n\nMy dad said, \"That's you!\"\n\nThey shoved me over the other side of the fenced off area\u2014I caught my britches on the fence and ripped them. So I tied a sweatshirt around my waist and walked up to him. He asked me how far we had walked. I told him thirty-five miles.\n\nHe looked down at my bare feet and grinned and said, \"Well, next time, make it fifty.\"\n\nIt was the short conversation that lasted a lifetime.\n\nHe was shorter than I thought he would be. He smelled really good. He had a beautiful smile. He really made an impression on me, and I think some of the other girls may have met him. The photographer just happened to be there and took the picture that went all around the country.\n\nOn November 22, 1963, I was in Spanish class at Hayfork High School. We had about one hundred and sixty in the school and twenty-five in my class. The teacher sent me to the office to get some paper. I got to the office and everyone in there was crying, even the principal. I said, \"What's the matter?\" They told me what had happened, and I started crying too.\n\nI went back to my class and told the teacher and the teacher said, \"That's a terrible joke to play on people, Terri, that's a sick joke.\"\n\nAnd I replied, \"You know me. I don't play sick jokes.\"\n\nThe teacher realized I was telling the truth. He left the classroom and went to the office. School was let out early.\n\nHis death was traumatic. Unbelievable. Back in those days, you really didn't hear about a lot of bad things happening like you do today. I recall the television coverage, especially the drums beating during the funeral.\n\nI always had the impression that John Kennedy wanted the nation to strive to do better. He instilled that in people, like his comment to me, \"Next time make it fifty.\"\n\nHe was a compassionate man. He would be finding ways for people to be proud of themselves. Like me. Some little nobody in some little town no one's ever heard of can do something and be successful. It's an encouraging thought.\n  Father Oscar Huber\n\nCatholic priest who administered the Last Rites\n\n\"I will never forget the blank stare in her eyes and the signs of agony on her face.\"\n\n(ON November 22, 1963) on TV at 11:30 am, I saw his arrival at Love Field and heard the enthusiastic welcome given him. Then I walked down to Lemmon and Reagan Streets, about three blocks from Holy Trinity Church, to await the motorcade that would bring the president along the planned route that would end at the Dallas Trade Mart.\n\nThere both sides of the street were lined with people eagerly awaiting the president\u2014there also were the children of Holy Trinity School, their teachers, and lay teachers. Soon the car carrying the members of the presidential party passed by. The president and Mrs. Kennedy were waving and smiling to everyone, and these gestures of goodwill were enthusiastically returned by the happy onlookers along the way. It was a thrilling moment for me as I had never before seen a president of the United States.\n\nI returned to the rectory\u2014ate a brief lunch\u2014and had just finished when Father James N. Thompson, CM, one of my assistants, who had finished lunch previously and was watching TV\u2014came to the rectory and announced that the president had been shot. We went to the recreation room where we heard, over TV, the president had been taken to Parkland Memorial Hospital. This hospital is within the confines of Holy Trinity parish. Within a short time we were on our way to the hospital. Shortly after we left the rectory, a telephone call came from someone at Parkland Hospital saying Mrs. Kennedy was requesting a priest to administer to the spiritual needs of the president.\n\nWithin ten or fifteen minutes we were at the hospital. Father Thompson parked the car while I was escorted by a policeman to an emergency room where I found the fatally wounded president lying on a portable table. He was covered with a sheet that I removed from over his forehead before administering conditionally the Last Rites of the Catholic Church. These Rites are administered conditionally when a priest has no way of knowing the person's mind or whether the soul has yet left the body. In Latin, I said: \"I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.\"\n\nDuring these ceremonies, Mrs. Kennedy was standing beside the president. She and others in the emergency room answered the prayers with which they were familiar. Mrs. Kennedy bent over and seemed to kiss the president. Soon after this, followed by Mrs. Kennedy and the others who were present, I walked from the emergency room into the adjoining corridor. Sorrow and consternation bowed the heads of everyone present. The silence that pervaded the corridor was mute evidence that another president of the United States had died at the hands of an assassin.\n\nDuring this most trying ordeal, the perfect composure maintained by Mrs. Kennedy was beyond comprehension. I will never forget the blank stare in her eyes and the signs of agony on her face. I extended my heartfelt sympathy and that of my parishioners to her. In a low tone of voice she thanked me graciously and asked me to pray for the president. I assured her I would do so. Shortly after this Father Thompson and I returned to Holy Trinity rectory.\n\nThe agonizing countenance of Mrs. Kennedy, her clear answer to the prayers recited, her gentle expression of thanks to me for administering the Last Rites and expressing my sympathy, the difficulty I had in controlling my emotions, the expression of shock written on the faces of the Secret Service men, the anxiety expressed by the people who crowded the corridors of Parkland Hospital waiting for a word of hope about the president's condition, the large attendance at Masses offered for the repose of his soul\u2014all these and many more incidents shall never be erased from my memory.\n\nCredit: DeAndreis-Rosati Memorial Archives, DePaul University Archives, Chicago, Illinois, DePaul University\n  David W. Knowlton\n\nWest Point graduate with a foreboding premonition\n\n\"He spent ten minutes with us.... He was personable and interested in us. It was a wonderful experience. But I felt such terrible anxiety, and I think he could tell I was stressed.\"\n\nI was editor of the yearbook at West Point and went to Washington to present copies of the yearbook to all the top dignitaries\u2014the Secretary of Defense, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and others. Normally, the president did not receive the yearbook directly; he had his military aide do it.\n\nBut John Kennedy always wanted to spend time with the cadets. That's how I ended up in the Oval office. Earlier, we had presented yearbooks to former President Eisenhower and former General of the Army Douglas McArthur. Eisenhower was just a regular guy\u2014like a man on the street. McArthur was a bit of a stuffed shirt; I don't think he even opened the book.\n\nI felt quite comfortable though with those two. But not when I met President Kennedy in the Oval Office.\n\nFor the second time in my life, the hackles went up on my neck, and I sensed danger, evil. It had happened to me a year earlier in 1962, when I decided I couldn't get on an airplane that later crashed in Georgia and killed everyone on board. I had terrible anxiety, and was afraid for my life. It cost me seventy-five dollars to change tickets\u2014a lot of money in 1962\u2014and when I arrived at my destination, Los Angeles, I learned that the other plane had crashed.\n\nWhen I met the president, he could tell I was distressed. He spent ten minutes with us. He said it was the best academy yearbook he'd ever seen, and I thanked him. He was personable and interested in us. It was a wonderful experience. But I felt such terrible anxiety, and I think he could tell I was stressed. I verbalized my feelings to my fellow graduate after we left the White House. I felt such a terrible foreboding.\n\nOn November 21, 1963, the night before the assassination, I arrived at my first duty station at Fort Carson, Colorado. On the morning of the 22nd, I was assigned to B Company, Seventh Engineer Battalion. I was the only officer except for the captain, so I was immediately the executive officer, which also meant I was the mess officer. The captain and I went over to the mess to get acquainted. All of a sudden, a soldier burst in and said, \"Sir, they've just shot President Kennedy. We're all on alert.\"\n\nI think John Kennedy was the greatest president we've ever had. But his legacy was unfinished. He was killed before he could have a legacy. I'm an Independent, leading toward conservatism. He had tremendous leadership. I've also admired Truman and Reagan. Of course, we know he was a womanizer. In fact, the White House assistant assigned to show us around Washington was gorgeous. She looked just like Marilyn Monroe. And I don't think she could tell the difference between a telephone and a typewriter.\n  James Leavelle\n\nDallas police detective handcuffed to Lee Harvey Oswald\n\n\"If he'd just followed an old detective's advice one time, we would have had him (Oswald) at the county jail, got him to court, got him tried, got him convicted, got the death penalty on him.... But that didn't happen.\"\n\nON November 22, 1963, all the officers in the homicide office of the Dallas Police Department had assignments. We had two officers riding in the motorcade. But my partner was on vacation, so Captain (J. W.) Fritz told me to stick around the office and take care of anything that might come in. They furnished a uniformed patrolman to work with me, but he came up in plain clothes, and he and I went out and arrested a man for armed robbery whom I had a warrant for. On the way back from arresting him, we listened to the dispatcher keeping track of where the motorcade was from Love Field.\n\nAs we pulled in to the basement where Oswald was later shot, they were approaching Houston Street, where they had turned right for about a half block to get on Elm Street in order to make an exit onto the Stemmons (Freeway). We parked and turned the radio off. We went up the elevator from the basement to the third floor office, and I was told by Lt. Ted Wells that they had shot the president.\n\nAnd I said, \"Oh, yeah, yeah.\"\n\nBetween the time it took me to go from the car to the third floor office, the President was shot. I was not on the grassy knoll with ten thousand other people who told me they were there.\n\n(Later that day) they had Oswald in an interrogation room\u2014just a desk and a couple of chairs. No phone or anything, so there are no distractions. No one was with him. I went in and started talking to him about the shooting of Officer (J. D.) Tippit. At that time, I did not have a clue that he would be a suspect in the presidential shooting. There was nothing to indicate at that time that he was involved in that. He was two or three miles away from that scene (at the Texas School Book Depository Building). He denied shooting Officer Tippit.\n\nHe said, \"I didn't shoot anybody.\"\n\nI didn't think too much about it when he told me that, but a day or so later, I got to thinking about that: \"I didn't shoot anybody.\" Because I've worked through other officers' murders, suspects usually deny their involvement by saying, \"I didn't shoot the cop,\" or \"I didn't shoot the policemen.\"\n\nBut he didn't say that; he knew we were going to rap him for the president's shooting later, and he's getting his denial in to begin with, that he \"didn't shoot anybody.\"\n\nCaptain Fritz came back (to station headquarters) from the Book Depository building. They had found the rifle. They had found the window where he (Oswald) had shot from, and they picked up the empty hulls (shells) from underneath the window. And before he (Captain Fritz) left the building, he asked Mr. (Roy) Truly (warehouse manager) to do a head count on all of his employees. Oswald was the only one missing, and he hadn't had permission to leave. So the captain said to Truly, \"Give me that man's address.\" He got it and he sent people out there, but the address was wrong; Oswald had given Truly a bad address. When the captain walked in (to the Dallas Police headquarters), he started sending five or six detectives in different directions to look for Oswald.\n\nSomebody told him, \"Cap, the man Leavelle's talking to has got a name similar to that.\" So the captain came over, opened the door, and asked me his (Oswald's) name. I said, \"Lee Oswald.\" He looked at Oswald and asked, \"Where do you work?\" Oswald replied, \"The Texas School Book Depository Building.\" And the captain said, \"You're the man I want to talk to.\"\n\nSo I lost my prisoner and never questioned him again about any of the shootings because Cap had him on the presidential murder.\n\nThe first thing I regret is that the president was shot. And even worse that it happened here in my city. We got condolences from many other cities, telling us, \"It could have happened just as easily in our city when he was visiting here.\" I have become good friends with Clint Hill, the Secret Service agent who jumped up on the back of the car. He took it really bad that the president got shot.\n\nI've told him, \"Clint, you don't need to feel bad about it because you could have been handcuffed to him and he still could have been shot. I'm a perfect example of that. I handcuffed myself to the prisoner because we had so many threats against him.\"\n\nThe captain and I talked it over, and I said, \"I'll handcuff myself so if they take him, they've got to take me. And I'm not going to go peacefully.\"\n\nAnd that's how come I was handcuffed to him (Oswald).\n\nIf I hadn't had any more information than I had that day, I would not change anything I did (about the transfer of Oswald). But, if I had an inkling something like that might be happening, I would have done what I wanted to do and what I asked the Chief (Dallas Police Chief Jesse Curry) to do about an hour earlier. I asked him to let us take him out on the first floor.\n\nBeing it was a Sunday, there was nobody there. During the week the city courts are on that floor, and the elevator stops on that floor. They take the prisoners, drunks, and ne'er-do-wells down to the city court to be sentenced. But being a Sunday, there was no one there. We could have taken him out on that first floor, put him in a car on Main Street, and been at the county jail before anyone knew we had left the city jail with him.\n\nBut the chief said, \"Leavelle, I have given my word that they (members of the news media) can film the transfer. I want them to know that we didn't abuse him or mistreat him in any way. And the best way for them to know that is to let them film it, so we're going to take him out there (through the basement garage) and they can film it.\"\n\nThat's something else I've thought about years later. If he'd just followed an old detective's advice one time, we would have had him at the county jail, got him to court, got him tried, got him convicted, got the death penalty on him. And who knows? He could still be down there with appeals pending the way courts are handling things nowadays. But that didn't happen.\n  Priscilla Johnson McMillan\n\nKnew both John Kennedy and Lee Harvey Oswald\n\n\"That afternoon, in Harvard Square, someone told me that President Kennedy had been murdered in Dallas.... I felt strangled. 'My God,' I said, 'I know that boy!'\"\n\nI first met John Kennedy in May, 1953, soon after he was sworn in for his first term in the U.S. Senate. A couple of months earlier I had finished work at Harvard on a Master's degree in Russian Studies and was fairly fluent in Russian. I went to Washington and applied for jobs at the offices of several congressmen and senators.\n\nA friend who worked for a senator on Capitol Hill mentioned that the new senator from Massachusetts was hiring, so I left my resume at his office, too. But when, after a couple of weeks, I had not found anything, I took a job translating Russian political articles for the Current Digest of the Soviet Press at Columbia University in New York.\n\nBefore the job was due to begin, I received an unexpected call from Senator Kennedy's office. I was told that the senator wanted me to work for him on a short-term project in Washington but wished to meet me first. When I went to see him at his office on the Hill, the first thing I noticed was how thin he was, so thin, in fact, that he looked concave. He apologized for not having a full-time position to offer me, and I said not to worry, I had accepted a job translating Russian, to start in a few weeks.\n\nWhat Senator Kennedy wanted was for me to do research on a subject he evidently had a special interest in: Should the U.S. pressure France, a country to which we gave financial assistance, to abandon its war in Indochina? I was to work for him for two weeks. I would not be on his office payroll; I was to be paid directly by his father. I would receive seventy-five dollars a week and work out of a small office in the Library of Congress Annex. He wanted his first Senate speech to be on foreign policy, and my research was to serve as its basis. The senator did not tell me why he was interested in Indochina. He did not mention that he had already been there two years before, that he knew quite a bit about the place, and that he held strong views about the French and their colonies. Nor did I ask his views, which I was not to learn for many, many years.\n\nOn two successive Friday afternoons in May, I briefed Senator Kennedy on why we should use our clout with the French to make them leave Indochina. After that, my work was done. I went to New York and my new job translating Russian newspapers. Over the next couple of years, I heard from time to time from the senator. He took me out for breakfast once after he had visited his doctor. Another time, after lunch in New York, he said he needed to see his tailor. The tailor's business was just down the street, but he insisted on taking a cab. When he got out of the cab, he quickly stepped into the tailor's shop, and I was left to pay the driver.\n\nI paid my first visit to the Soviet Union during the winter of 1955-56. Two years later, I got a job in Moscow as a rookie reporter for the North American Newspaper Alliance. It was a chance to learn about the country and improve my fluency in the language, and I struggled to extend my visas and stay as long as I could. In November of 1959, a consul at the American embassy in Moscow told me about a twenty-year-old Marine who wanted to defect to the Soviet Union. He was staying at the same hotel I was, the Hotel Metropole, but was angry for some reason and refused to speak with anyone at the embassy. Maybe he would speak to me since I was a woman.\n\nThe Marine's name was Lee Harvey Oswald.\n\nA bit to my surprise, he agreed to an interview. That evening we sat in my room for several hours while he told me his story. He seemed lonely and very, very young\u2014lost in a situation he did not understand. I felt sorry for him. A day or so later, I filed a story. Here is an excerpt:\n\nWith his suit of charcoal gray flannel, dark tie, and tan cashmere sweater, Lee looks, and sounds, like Joe College with a slight Southern drawl. But his life hasn't been that of a typical college boy.... Even though Russian officials have warned him Soviet citizenship is not easy to obtain, Lee already refers to the Soviet government as \"my government.\" \"But,\" says Lee, \"even if I am not accepted, on no account will I go back to the United States. I shall remain here, if necessary, as a resident alien.\"\n\nThe article appeared in newspapers back in the U.S., but I did not see Lee Oswald or hear of him again\u2014until November 22, 1963.\n\nThat afternoon, in Harvard Square, someone told me that President Kennedy had been murdered in Dallas. Later I ran into a friend and asked whether there was a suspect. \"Yes,\" she said, \"Someone named Lee H... Harvey something\"\u2014she could not remember the name\u2014had been arrested.\n\nI felt strangled. \"My God,\" I said, \"I know that boy!\"\n\nThat evening and the next day, because of my interview with Oswald and my article about him, FBI agents came to question me. I spoke with them, of course, and the following year testified before the Warren Commission. In the summer of 1964, in Texas, I interviewed Lee's widow, Marina, for many, many hours in Russian. My conversations with her and interviews with acquaintances of the Oswalds, along with essays and letters by Lee that were published in the Warren Commission Report, led to my book, Marina and Lee, which appeared in 1977.\n\nAs for the unfinished story of John Kennedy, I sometimes wonder whether the harsh edges of the Cold War might have been softened earlier, as early as the 1960s, had Kennedy still been President. And there is the question of Vietnam. In 1953, Kennedy hired me to do research on Indochina because he felt that the French should abandon their stake there. A decade later, in 1963 and afterward, would he, as president, have stood up to the pressure from Congress and the generals to raise our stake in that very same Vietnam?\n  Ann Owens\n\nInspired by \"Ask Not...\" to join the Peace Corps\n\n\"There was a wonderful naivet\u00e9 about it. The idea that you could go to another country and show a side of America that we really do care. That we really are nice people. We're here to help you.\"\n\nI was in Peace Corps training in the summer of 1962 in Washington, D.C. at Georgetown University. Much to the surprise and delight of all of us, we were invited at the very end of our training to the White House to meet President Kennedy. There were two hundred of us being trained to go to Ethiopia. We were the first group to go to Ethiopia. President Kennedy spoke to us on the South Lawn of the White House on August 8, 1962.\n\nThen he went along the line and shook people's hands. Seeing and hearing him reconfirmed my great passion for him as our president. I was thrilled to be able to meet him. I was one of the people who got to shake his hand. He was very, very special. Very charismatic. Young, good looking. Strong.\n\nI was twenty-four years old. I had taught third grade for two years and lived at home with my mom. It was a good life. I had a nice boyfriend.\n\nBut when he gave his inaugural speech, the challenge to Americans, \"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country,\" it just really struck a chord with me. It appealed to my sense of service, and he called us to a higher calling to do something outside yourself, outside your country. It resonated with me. I had two years of experience. I was ready to do something different.\n\nThere was a wonderful naivet\u00e9 about it. The idea that you could go to another country and show a side of America that we really do care. That we really are nice people. We're here to help you. Of course, with the Peace Corps, they invite you. You have no link to foreign policy. And it's not like you're going as a missionary.\n\nI was with a group of Peace Corps volunteers teaching English and science and history in Tigray, a province north of the capital, Addis Ababa. On November 22, 1963, a doctor in the Peace Corps came into a house where I was visiting. He had a shortwave radio and was looking very gaunt. And he told us that Kennedy had been shot. And we didn't believe it. He was really ticked. He said, \"How can you not believe me? Would I come in and say this if it weren't true?\"\n\nKennedy was a hero in the best sense of the word. I looked up to him. He had fresh, new ideas. A new outlook on the world. That maybe we could get this right this time. We can go to the moon.\n\nWe can go to other countries and make a difference. We can help people out. He had new, profound thoughts on how we could get along in the world. The call to something bigger was a great motivator. He was smart. Very clever. A wonderful way with words. There was a cultural aspect to him that I appreciated. That was important to me. To have a president for whom life was not just politics.\n  Ruth Paine\n\nLiving with Marina Oswald at the time of the assassination\n\n\"I have not been able to look in the face the idea that if I led my life differently President Kennedy might be alive. Perhaps most people whose lives touch the matter have a host of 'if only' thoughts. Mine will be with me forever.\"\n\nI was very impressed with him in office, and of course, Mrs. Kennedy. We felt like we were really being drawn into the activities of the country in a way I hadn't felt before. I feel that the things that happened informed him and made him a stronger president. In April of 1961, there was the invasion of the Bay of Pigs. That was a disaster. And I hoped that Kennedy would listen to his own wisdom more than the advice and counsel of his experts in the CIA. He was almost inoculated by that event to refer to his own understanding and wisdom.\n\nOn November 22, I had gotten my children up early to go to the dentist. I turned on the TV set to watch the Kennedys in Fort Worth for a breakfast speech. The Kennedys were a little late for arrival at the breakfast, and the news anchor had to fill time. And he talked about the assassination of President McKinley. There was something in the air and people were worried about his coming.\n\nOn that morning, I left with my kids for the dentist with the TV on because I knew Marina would want to see the motorcade and what was happening. But she wasn't up yet. She was feeding the baby in the night, and she slept when she could. When I got back from the dental appointment, she thanked me for having the TV on. She had watched him arrive at Love Field. Then we sat and watched the TV coverage.\n\nExcerpt from Exhibit 460, \"Testimony of Ruth Paine,\" from The Report of the President's Commission on the Assassination of President Kennedy (The Warren Commission):\n\nWe were on the sofa in the living room watching the television set when they announced that the president had been shot. I translated to her that the president had been wounded in the head. We waited for further word and the lunch I had prepared sat on the table untouched. I lit some plain candles. She asked if that was a way of praying and I told her yes, it was my private way. When the news came that the president was dead, I told her and we wept together. She said what a terrible thing it was for Mrs. Kennedy, how sad for her two children to grow up without a father.\n\nI first heard about Oswald being in custody when police arrived at my door and told me so. You have to understand, everybody was terribly upset. The police were. I was. Marina was. We didn't know what was going on. The police asked if Oswald had a gun, and I said, \"No.\" But I translated for Marina, who said, \"Yes, he did.\" She led them into the garage to show them the blanket that she believed the gun was in. It was not there.\n\nAnd it was at that moment, that I felt, \"Oh... it could have been Lee! He came out the night before. He could have gotten the gun.\"\n\nI was feeling like whatever these policemen and the sheriffs want to know, and if there's any way I can help, I'll help. They needed a little bit better practice in terms of what they took and what they told me they took. But I wanted to help in whatever way I could.\n\nThey put stuff in the trunk of the car and they said, \"We'd better go, you need to make a statement at the police station.\" My son was asleep. I was trying to think what to do in terms of a babysitter. One of the police thought I was taking too long. He grabbed me by the arm and said, \"We've got to get down to the police station right away.\"\n\nThey didn't know who they were dealing with. Another one turned to me and said, \"If you don't hurry up we'll just take the children and have them stay with juvenile.\"\n\nThat was a threat. I don't respond well to threats. So I turned to my daughter and said, \"Lynn, you may come with us.\" I was going to be holding her hand the whole time.\n\nI walked over to the home of a babysitter who regularly came to see if they could come and stay with my son while he was still sleeping and they did come. So we all piled into a couple of cars and went down to the police station.\n\nI've had to say, \"I could have done things differently. But that doesn't mean that the total outcome of Kennedy's life would have been different.\"\n\nExcerpt from Exhibit 460, \"Testimony of Ruth Paine,\" from The Report of the President's Commission on the Assassination of President Kennedy (The Warren Commission):\n\nI have not been able to look in the face the idea that if I led my life differently President Kennedy might be alive. Perhaps most people whose lives touch the matter have a host of \"if only\" thoughts. Mine will be with me forever.\n\nIf only I had known that Lee Oswald had hidden a rifle in my garage. If only I had apprised this man as someone able to do such terrible violence. If only the job that I helped him find hadn't put him in a building along the President's route. If only, quite by accident, I had done or not done a dozen things, the country might have been spared the tragedy, and Marina Oswald, whom I love as if she were a sister, would not have turned into an assassin's wife.\n\nGrief does not go away. That's how grief is. I've been upheld by a sense of the ancestors. There are folks who care who are on the other side of the veil of life and death, who have really helped me.\n\nI was inspired by the grace with which President Kennedy held that office, with his humor, and with his comfort talking to news people. His real interest in international affairs. He represented us so wonderfully. You miss him all the more for knowing how good he was and perhaps could have been in a second term.\n  Dr. Ira Seiler\n\nPediatric resident who saved the life of John Kennedy Jr., born not breathing\n\n\"I then grabbed the baby back, reinserted the tube, and for about six minutes, breathed air into the lungs of the baby.\"\n\nI was a young, twenty-nine-year-old, second-year pediatric resident at Georgetown Hospital and had been given the morning off on Thanksgiving, November 25, 1960. I arrived at the hospital at about twelve noon and met Mrs. Kennedy's obstetrician in the hall. He informed me that Mrs. Kennedy was being admitted for an emergency C-section because she had placentia previa which causes blockage of the outlet from the uterus. I asked if he wanted me in the delivery room and was informed that he did. I remember thinking that if there was a problem with the delivery or with the baby, I would probably be blamed since I was the low man on the totem pole.\n\nIn 1960, we had no neonatologist or intensive care physician to assist in the care of a baby in distress. When JFK Jr. was born, the chief of the anesthesia department held him up by the ankles and slapped his buttocks. After doing this for several minutes, the infant became very cyanotic (blue in color), and I told him the baby needed to be intubated.\n\nHe handed the baby to me, and I passed a tube into the trachea of the baby. I then handed the infant back to him to breathe into the baby, since he was the chief of anesthesia. However, he was a bit nervous and knocked the tube out. I then grabbed the baby back, reinserted the tube, and for about six minutes, breathed air into the lungs of the baby. The baby was then transferred to the intensive care nursery, where I cared for him until his discharge on December 9, 1960. The discharge diagnosis was \"Respiratory distress syndrome of the newborn.\" In later years, it has been called \"Hyaline Membrane Disease.\"\n\nAfter I left the delivery room one of the reporters asked me the sex of the baby, and I replied that I could not give out any information and that he would have to speak to Pierre Salinger, President Kennedy's press secretary. It was later written in the paper that a young doctor came out of the delivery room and did not know the sex of the baby. I laughed.\n\nAbout a week later I was on the OB floor when President-elect Kennedy was visiting his wife, and I was introduced to him as the doctor who had done the initial resuscitation on the baby. I shook his hand, and he impressed me as being very sincere and a great man. Shortly afterward, on December 9, 1960, I received a letter from him in a plain envelope. He wrote:\n\nDear Dr. Seiler:\n\nI want to take this opportunity to thank you and the other members of your efficient hospital staff for the many kindnesses shown to Mrs. Kennedy during her stay at the hospital. Your wonderful care has contributed greatly for her and my new son to leave the hospital in the very best of health.\n\nWith every good wish.\n\nSincerely,\n\nJohn F. Kennedy\n\nOn January 10, 1961, I received a registered letter from the Presidential Inaugural Committee addressed to Dr. and Mrs. Seiler containing a card stating, \"President-elect Kennedy has requested the Inaugural Committee to forward to you the enclosed tickets for inaugural events.\" Enclosed were tickets to the ball at the armory, the governors' reception, the distinguished ladies' reception, the inaugural concert, and first row seats opposite the reviewing stand for the parade. My wife and I had been sent tickets to all the functions with the exception of the inauguration.\n\nHowever, three days later on January 13, 1961, I received a special delivery letter from the United State Senate which contained only a card asking me to go to the Old Senate Building to pick up my tickets for the inauguration. When I was given the tickets and was told that we were on the platform, I asked if President-elect Kennedy had actually asked that I be given these tickets. She checked and stated that I was on his private select list and should feel honored, which indeed, I was. We sat on the platform at the Capitol in front of where Kennedy and the dignitaries were assembled.\n\nSeveral weeks later, I was seeing a newborn at Georgetown Hospital and mentioned to one of the nurses how impressed I was in receiving all the inaugural invitations. She informed me that she had written to the inaugural committee that if I had not been there John Kennedy Jr. would have died.\n\nI wrote (Mrs. Kennedy) a letter after President Kennedy was assassinated and received a reply thanking me for my letter. We had just returned from vacation, and my wife was in the hospital with pneumonia. I had a home office at the time and was very depressed when I learned that he had been assassinated.\n\nHis death affected so many people. I thought he would have made a truly great president. His life was cut short; you really don't know how great a president he might have been. That has always bothered me. I considered him a brilliant and honest man. I didn't fully agree with his private life, but that's another story. His legacy is unfinished. He had great potential and made some errors, such as the Bay of Pigs fiasco, but getting the missiles out of Cuba was a great accomplishment. I feel it prevented a possible world war. Recently in the local newspaper, it was mentioned that he had some doubts about the value of the space program since it cost so much to fund. However, the standing of the United States was greatly enhanced as we became the leader in space exploration and science.\n  Samuel Stern\n\nStaff member of the Warren Commission\n\n\"I think had he lived and had a second term, the world might have been a lot different in many favorable ways. Particularly I'm thinking of Vietnam. I think he would have found his way through that and dealt with the hawks who were really selling a preposterous notion.\"\n\nI met John Kennedy several times. The first time was at the Democratic Convention in 1956, when he was competing to be (Adlai) Stevenson's vice presidential running mate. (Senator Estes) Kefauver eventually beat him out for that assignment. I was a runner for the platform committee at the convention. I would sit outside and listen to them debate a plank. And when they had something to be printed, I would rush it down to the print shop in the hotel in Chicago, rush upstairs again, and listen some more.\n\nBut, more interestingly, several years after my clerkship with U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren, in 1961 or '62\u2014or conceivably in early '63\u2014while Kennedy was president, I helped organize a dinner of the Warren clerks for him at the Metropolitan Club here in Washington. One of Warren's clerks, Jon Newman, who is now a Second Circuit judge, was on the White House staff at the time and invited President Kennedy. He was there for the cocktail reception, not the dinner. He was shaking hands with everybody and making small talk and Warren was overjoyed. Warren had been very, very moved by Kennedy and Mrs. Kennedy.\n\nHe was certainly charismatic, but I was less than overwhelmed by his presidency and substantially less than overwhelmed by his brother and his appointment of his brother as attorney general. There was the Bay of Pigs and a lot of on-the-job training, catching up to fill the office. So, at the time, I was reasonably critical, despite being a lifelong Democrat. I was much more a Stevenson Democrat than a Kennedy Democrat. In retrospect, considering everything that's come after him, I'm much more inclined to view his presidency favorably.\n\nOn November 22, I had just come back from lunch at the Metropolitan Club and got a phone call from a client and friend who was the president of Industrias Kaiser Argentina, the Kaiser subsidiary that manufactured Jeeps and Willys cars in Argentina. He was a devout Catholic and very devoted to Kennedy. He had just heard the news over the radio in Buenos Aires. He called to see what had happened and how serious it was. Initially, the news was that the president had been shot, but not that he had been killed. I remember it vividly\u2014everybody stopped everything.\n\nWe were very skeptical of Lyndon Johnson and what that meant to the country. Completely flummoxed by the notion that one insignificant human being took down the most powerful man in the world. It didn't compute.\n\nAt the time, it helped motivate me to become actively involved in the civil rights movement, and particularly, in the Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, led by Lloyd Cutler. When Johnson announced the creation of the Warren Commission, I wrote to the chief justice and said, \"If I can help, let me know.\" He passed that letter on to Howard Willens, a good friend who was then liaison between the Justice Department and the commission. I got a call from Willens and was invited to join the commission staff as an assistant counsel.\n\nJohn Kennedy has become something of a myth. He is larger than life. The most dramatized part of his presidency, aside from the assassination, was the Cuban Missile Crisis. If he did nothing else, that was of gigantic importance to the world, not just the United States. He handled that well. I think had he lived and had a second term, the world might have been a lot different in many favorable ways. Particularly I'm thinking of Vietnam.\n\nI think he would have found his way through that and dealt with the hawks who were really selling a preposterous notion. At the time, I was very opposed to the war. And in retrospect, it becomes even less sensible and supportable. And it skewed this country and the world in major ways. I think he was just catching on how to handle the LeMays (reference to Air Force General Curtis LeMay), and not just the military, but the civilian hawks. His own advisors were very much in favor of going to war and sustaining the war. The seeds of that terrible event were sown in Kennedy's Administration. There was very little in Eisenhower, and it could have been stopped immediately.\n\nPart of the difficulty for Kennedy is the same difficulty that President Obama has had, but in even greater terms. Suddenly you're elevated to this enormously powerful position without much real preparation for it, catching up as it unfolds. You have to respond immediately to huge crises after crises.\n\nHis personal life is part of that legacy. His relationship with his wife and all these beautiful things who were around the White House. There's still a sense of recklessness and a sense of being beyond apprehension and consequences. It was part of his psyche. He probably inspired Clinton. And that's too bad. I think when you take that job you have to stop being a sophomore.\n","meta":{"redpajama_set_name":"RedPajamaBook"}}
+{"text":" \nEditors\n\nGert Brunekreeft, Till Luhmann, Tobias Menz, Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller and Paul Recknagel\n\nRegulatory Pathways For Smart Grid Development in China\n\nEditors\n\nGert Brunekreeft\n\nJacobs University Bremen gGmbH, Bremen, Germany\n\nTill Luhmann\n\nBTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg, Germany\n\nTobias Menz\n\nBTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg, Germany\n\nSven-Uwe M\u00fcller\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn, Germany\n\nPaul Recknagel\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn, Germany\n\nISBN 978-3-658-08462-2e-ISBN 978-3-658-08463-9\n\nDOI 10.1007\/978-3-658-08463-9\n\nSpringer Heidelberg Dordrecht London New York\n\nLibrary of Congress Control Number: 2015941028\n\n\u00a9 The Editor(s) (if applicable) and the Author(s) 2015\n\nThe book is published with open access at SpringerLink.\n\nOpen Access This book is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License, which permits any noncommercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author(s) and source are credited. This book is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License, which permits any noncommercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author(s) and source are credited.\n\nThis work is subject to copyright. All commercial rights are reserved by the Publisher, whether the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights of translation, reprinting, reuse of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfilms or in any other physical way, and transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed.\n\nThe use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, etc. in this publication does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such names are exempt from the relevant protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use.\n\nThe publisher, the authors and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and information in this book are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither the publisher nor the authors or the editors give a warranty, express or implied, with respect to the material contained herein or for any errors or omissions that may have been made.\n\nPrinted on acid-free paper\n\nSpringer is part of Springer Science+Business Media (www.springer.com)\n\nProject information\n\nEditors\n\n  * Prof. Dr. Gert BRUNEKREEFT, Jacobs University Bremen gGmbH\n\n  * Dr. Till LUHMANN, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\n  * Dr. Tobias MENZ, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\n  * Dr. Sven-Uwe M\u00dcLLER, Deutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH\n\n  * Paul RECKNAGEL, Deutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH\n\nKey authors\n\n  * Prof. Dr. Gert BRUNEKREEFT, Jacobs University Bremen gGmbH\n\n  * Marius BUCHMANN, Jacobs University Bremen gGmbH\n\n  * Christian D\u00c4NEKAS, OFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e. V.\n\n  * Dr. Xin GUO, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\n  * Dr. Till LUHMANN, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\n  * Dr. Christoph MAYER, OFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e. V.\n\n  * Dr. Tobias MENZ, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\n  * Marcus MERKEL, EWE NETZ GmbH\n\n  * Prof. Dr. Christian REHTANZ, ef.Ruhr Forschungs-GmbH\n\nContributing authors\n\n  * Andr\u00e9 G\u00d6RING, OFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e. V.\n\n  * Andre HERRMANN, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\n  * Ray KODALI, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\n  * Paul RECKNAGEL, Deutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH\n\n  * Dr. Michael STADLER, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\n  * Dr. Mathias USLAR, OFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e. V.\n\n  * Nils VOGEL, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\nProject steering group in China\n\n  * CHEN Tao, National Energy Administration of the P.R. China\n\n  * Dr. TONG Guangyi, National Energy Administration of the P.R. China\n\n  * GUO Tao, National Energy Administration of the P.R. China\n\n  * BU Hongfang, National Energy Administration of the P.R. China\n\nProject group of Chinese experts\n\n  * Dr. DONG Rick, China Southern Power Grid Electric Power Research Institute\n\n  * Dr. HUANG Han, State Grid Energy Research Institute\n\n  * Dr. JIA Bin, ENN Energy Holdings Limited\n\n  * Dr. SHI Yaodong, Development Research Center of the State Council\n\n  * Prof. Dr. WANG Shouxiang, Tianjin University\n\n  * Academician, YU Yixin, Chinese Academy of Engineering, Prof., Tianjin University\n\nProject management\n\n  * Dr. Tobias MENZ, BTC Business Technology Consulting AG\n\nProject coordination in China\n\n  * Paul RECKNAGEL, Deutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH\n\nConsortium Members\n\n  * BTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg\n\n  * Jacobs University Bremen gGmbH, Bremen\n\n  * OFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e. V., Oldenburg\n\n  * ef.Ruhr Forschungs-GmbH, Dortmund\n\n  * EWE NETZ GmbH, Oldenburg\n\nProject Initiation & Funding\n\nThis study was conducted as part of the \"Sino-German Climate Change Programme\" implemented by Deutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH on behalf of the German Federal Ministry of Economic Cooperation and Development (BMZ).\n\nProject Term\n\nJanuary 2013 to June 2014\n\nNotice\n\nThe content of this study does not reflect the official opinion of the National Energy Administration of the P. R. China. Responsibility for the information and views expressed in the study lies entirely with the author(s). Neither the National Energy Administration of the P. R. China nor any person acting on its behalf may be held responsible for the use which may be made of the information contained therein.\n\nPreface\n\nby Prof. Dr. Dr. Klaus T\u00f6pfer , Executive Director of the Institute for Advanced Sustainability Studies, Potsdam\n\nSource: Schulzendorff\n\nUntil 2025, about 250 million people will move to cities in China, where by then there will be 221 cities with more than 1 million inhabitants. They will be clustered in about 11 regions with more than 60 million people each. In order to ensure energy supply with reduced impact on health and the environment a central element of the Chinese governments' five year plan is developing smart eco-cities. With this, the conservation of energy, water, land and materials, reducing pollution, optimizing the transportation, protecting the environment, and improving building comfort, health and safety should be maximized. This will be a critical moment in the acceleration of industrialization, urbanization and rural development providing great opportunities in many respects, business opportunities for the economic sector and saving potential for millions of households.\n\nAs China increasingly embraces clean energy, with newly set renewable energy targets and energy efficiency, smart grid capabilities are crucial for achieving and driving the low-carbon transition. With increasing shares of power from renewable energy facilities with their specifics of intermittency, the transformation of the demand and supply sides towards more flexibility is vital. This is recognized in the 12 th Five-Year Plan for National Economic and Social Development, where the People's National Congress has set up a goal for the acceleration of smart grid developments. Additionally to balancing the demand and supply sides smart grids can potentially contribute to a reduction in overall need of energy of up to 25 % and reduce the costs of integrating renewable energy into the power system. Doing this will both be useful for the economy, opening up new business models and be a challenge for the regulators, who need to create a supportive framework. Such a regulatory basis should provide incentives and ensure an acceleration of the smart grid development also encouraging competition in order to fuel innovation. Supporting the development of industrial clusters, by creating special industry funds can be one option to fully realize the potential of the economic opportunity of the smart grid development. Considering that China in 2013 for the first time surpassed the spending of the United States on smart grid technologies, accounting for more than a quarter of the worldwide smart grid spending, it is clear that a massive transformation of the country's energy landscape is underway. The potential of being a global leader in the technology development and serving as a role model in smart energy system development however still implies regulatory challenges in order to balance the energy policy goals of reliability, affordability and sustainability \u2013 keeping in mind that the social dimension of energy is central to sustainable energy systems.\n\nSincerely,\n\nKlaus T\u00f6pfer\n\nPreface\n\nby Dr. Werner Brinker, Chairman of the Board of the EWE AG, Oldenburg\n\nEurope is committed to the decarbonization of its economy, driven by the European Union (EU) climate and energy policies on renewable energy, low carbon emissions, energy savings and energy efficiency. The further development of the energy sector is pivotal to meeting these objectives, ensuring the transition towards a more sustainable energy system and driving innovation in the energy sector.\n\nWhile the German energy sector is already well prepared for a successful integration of decentralized power generation from renewable energy sources, Germany is currently heading the necessary legal and regulatory steps to build future-oriented electricity networks, complete the market integration of renewables and ensure at the same time the functioning of electricity markets.\n\nAutomation as well as information and communication technology (ICT) are playing an important role in this context. So called smart grids are deemed to improve the efficiency, reliability, and sustainability of the production and distribution of electricity. They are able to collect, transmit and use information about the behaviors of electricity producers and consumers in an automated fashion by means of automation and ICT.\n\nIn Germany, the transition towards smart grids is driven by a large variety of different institutions and companies interacting on well-functioning markets for electricity and associated products. However, despite all the valuable experiences with regard to the build-up of smart grids, Germany's regulatory framework has not yet been adapted completely to the vision of smart grids. In China, the transition towards smart grids is mainly pushed forward by the government and the politically powerful and vertically integrated grid operators due to the absence of competition in many parts of the energy sector and the non-existence of markets for electricity.\n\nThe present study aims to give regulatory recommendations for the deployment of smart grids in China based on German and international experiences and ongoing discussions. I am convinced that the results can help Chinese policy makers to optimize smart grid regulation in China. I am even more convinced that, based on this study, China and Germany have the unique opportunity to link their strengths, overcome weaknesses and withstand threats to maximize overall benefits for the society during the build-up of smart grids. As Germany is already a very important partner for China in Europe and China is of upmost importance for Germany in Asia, it could be important to align and ensure the right legal and regulatory framework as a precondition for a more sustainable energy sector in China.\n\nWe as the management of the EWE Group are honored that Deutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH chose experts from our companies to support the further development of smart grids in China. It was also a pleasure for us to welcome a group of Chinese experts in Oldenburg in April 2013.\n\nFinally, I would like to wish you many new insights during the reading of this study.\n\nYour\n\nWerner Brinker\n\nPreface\n\nby Dr. TONG Guangyi, Deputy Director General of the Electricity Department\n\nNational Energy Administration of the P.R. China, Beijing\n\nIn light of today's environmental challenges, in order to meet the requirements of sustainable development, economic restructuring as well as flexible transmission, distribution and utilization of electricity, optimizing the way we operate our power systems by building a smart grid has become an inevitable trend. Therefore, how to rationally and scientifically lay out a roadmap and at the same time design a sound legal and regulatory framework to promote smart grid development is a major question. This study gives important insights on modern smart grid concepts, policy frameworks and avenues for development in Germany and elsewhere providing us with a wealth of ideas and pathways to choose from.\n\nAccording to an old Chinese saying \"advice from others may help one overcome one's shortcomings\". To study the advanced experiences of other countries and learn from their example is of great significance to the development of China's smart grid. This study on \"Regulatory Pathways for Smart Grid Development in China\" includes an analysis of the current state of smart grid development in China and Germany, summarizes the latest discussion on the regulatory environment for smart grids in Germany and compares it with the current situation in China. Based on this analysis and in accordance with China's overall energy development targets, the study provides seven policy recommendations and three regulatory roadmaps to promote smart grid development in China.\n\nI believe this study provides a useful reference for the healthy development, effective guidance and supervision of China's smart grid. We want to take this opportunity and express our appreciation to Deutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH and the team of experts led by the German side. We thank all the contributors for their rigorous and prudent research approach as well as their professionalism, hard work and dedication in the whole process of writing this report.\n\nAt last, I sincerely wish all the best for the future development of smart grids in Germany and China.\n\nSincerely,\n\nTONG Guangyi\n\nPreface\n\nby Bernhard Zymla, Head of the Energy Department\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn\n\nThe primary driver for smart grid development in Germany is the integration of a rising share of electricity generated from variable renewable energies into the power system. The German Federal Government's Energy concept for an environmentally friendly, reliable and affordable energy supply of September 2010 and the Package of Energy Laws enacted in July 2011 contain guidelines and objectives related to Germany's future energy system. The government plans express a commitment to sustainable development and environmental protection by setting a target to reduce CO 2 emissions by 40 % compared to 1990 by 2020 and by 80 to 95 % by 2050.\n\nWith the German energy transition, the Energiewende , the German government has taken ambitious steps and action to tackle the problems related to fossil fuel combustion. To achieve the ambitious targets for reducing greenhouse gas emissions while also gradually phasing out nuclear power until 2022, a rapid expansion of renewable energy is essential. In 2025, 40 to 45 % of gross electricity consumption is to be covered by renewables, with the share planned to rise to 80 % by 2050. An increasing share of intermittent renewables requires a fundamental restructuring of our electricity system, allowing for an effective synchronization of demand with increasingly variable supply, while at the same time maintaining system reliability and stability. To achieve this objective, electricity markets have to be reformed to set the right incentives for an efficient utilization of the system's flexibility resources on the supply and demand side. For this purpose the development of a future-oriented electric power network infrastructure \u2013 or smart grid \u2013 is indispensable.\n\nSmart grids enable real-time communication between electricity suppliers, grid operators and consumers with the help of modern information and communication technologies facilitating an intelligent grid operation as well as the efficient utilization of all power system components through supply- and demand-side management. Thus, it is possible to integrate a high share of variable renewable energies without compromising the reliability of supply, while cutting peak loads and reducing the need for so-called baseload power plants. At the same time, the upgrade of the electric power grid with the help of innovative grid technologies helps to reduce the need for traditional grid expansion avoiding substantial costs. Smart grids lead to the emergence of new business models and new market players together with an increasing spectrum of energy services in the years to come.\n\nThe development of smart grids requires a sound legal and regulatory basis that sets the right incentives and clearly defines the roles of different power system actors, the interaction between them and enables a smooth communication between its components. This study presents an overview of China's and Germany's power system as well as each country's view on smart grid development. Built on this foundation recommendations for the adaptation of the policy and regulatory framework were developed aimed at facilitating the development of smart grids in China in order to allow the integration of a rising share of renewable energy in its power system.\n\nWe trust you will have an interesting and informative read.\n\nSincerely,\n\nBernhard Zymla\n\nAbbreviations\n\n3GThird\n\nThird Generation of Mobile Telecommunications Technology\n\nAbLaV\n\nVerordnung \u00fcber Vereinbarungen zu abschaltbaren Lasten (Deutschland)\/Ordinance on Disconnectable Loads (Germany)\n\nAC\n\nAlternating Current\n\nACATECH\n\nDeutsche Akademie der Technikwissenschaften (Deutschland)\/German Academy of Science and Engineering (Germany)\n\nACER\n\nAgency for the Cooperation of Energy Regulators\n\nAMI\n\nAdvanced Metering Infrastructure\n\nAMS\n\nAsset Management Systems\n\nARegV\n\nAnreizregulierungsverodnung (Deutschland)\/Incentive Regulation Ordinance (Germany)\n\nBDI\n\nBundesverband der Deutschen Industrie (Deutschland)\/Federation of German Industries (Germany)\n\nBImSchG\n\nBundesimmissionsschutzgesetz (Deutschland)\/Federal Pollution Control Act (Germany)\n\nBITKOM\n\nBundesverband Informationswirtschaft, Telekommunikation und neue Medien e. V. (Deutschland)\/Federal Association for Information Technology, Telecommunications and New Media (Germany)\n\nBMAS\n\nBundesministerium f\u00fcr Arbeit und Soziales (Deutschland)\/Federal Ministry of Labor, Social Affairs and Consumer Protection (Germany)\n\nBMUB\n\nBundesministerium f\u00fcr Umwelt, Naturschutz, Bau und Reaktorsicherheit (Deutschland)\/Federal Ministry for the Environment, Nature Conservation, Building and Nuclear Safety (Germany)\n\nBMVI\n\nBundesministerium f\u00fcr Verkehr und digitale Infrastruktur (Deutschland)\/Federal Ministry of Transport and Digital Infrastructure (Germany)\n\nBMWi\n\nBundesministerium f\u00fcr Wirtschaft und Energie (Deutschland)\/Federal Ministry for Economic Affairs and Energy (Germany)\n\nBNetzA\n\nBundesnetzagentur f\u00fcr Elektrizit\u00e4t, Gas, Telekommunikation, Post und Eisenbahnen (Deutschland)\/Federal Network Agency for Electricity, Gas, Telecommunications, Post and Railway (Germany)\n\nCDH\n\nCentral Data Hub\n\nCDMA\n\nCode Division Multiple Access\n\nCEN\n\nEuropean Committee for Standardization\n\nCENELEC\n\nEuropean Committee for Electrotechnical Organization\n\nCHP\n\nCombined Heat and Power Plants\n\nCO2\n\nCarbon Dioxide\n\nCSG\n\nChina Southern Power Grid Company Limited\n\nDAM\n\nData Access Point Manager\n\nDC\n\nDirect Current\n\nDIN\n\nDeutsches Institut f\u00fcr Normung (Deutschland)\/German Institute for Standardization (Germany)\n\nDSL\n\nDigital Subscriber Line\n\nDSLAM\n\nDigital Subscriber Line Access Multiplexer\n\nDSM\n\nDemand Side Management\n\nDSO\n\nDistribution System Operator(s)\n\nEC\n\nEuropean Commission\n\nEEG\n\nErneuerbare-Energien-Gesetz (Deutschland)\/Renewable Energy Act (Germany)\n\nEEX\n\nEuropean Energy Exchange\n\nEnLAG\n\nEnergieleitungsausbaugesetz (Deutschland)\/Energy Network Development Act (Germany)\n\nENTSO-E\n\nEuropean Network of Transmission System Operators for Electricity\n\nEnWG\n\nEnergiewirtschaftsgesetz (Deutschland)\/Energy Industry Act (Germany)\n\nETSI\n\nEuropean Telecommunications Standards Institute\n\nEU\n\nEuropean Union\n\nFACTS\n\nFlexible Control and AC Transmission Systems\n\nFEG\n\nFuture Energy Grid\n\nFINSENY\n\nFuture Internet for Smart Energy\n\nFNN\n\nForum Netztechnik\/Netzbetrieb im Verband der Elektrotechnik Elektronik Informationstechnik e. V. (Deutschland)\/Forum Network Technology\/Network Operation in the Association of the Electrical, Electronic and Information Technology (Germany)\n\nGDP\n\nGross Domestic Product\n\nGW\n\nGigawatt\n\nGWh\n\nGigawatt Hour\n\nGSM\n\nGlobal System for Mobile Communications\n\nGPKE\n\nGesch\u00e4ftsprozesse zur Belieferung von Kunden mit Elektrizit\u00e4t (Deutschland)\/Business Processes for Delivery of Electricity to Customers (Germany)\n\nGPRS\n\nGeneral Packet Radio Service\n\nGWAC\n\nGridWise Architecture Council\n\nGWB\n\nGesetz gegen Wettbewerbsbeschr\u00e4nkungen (Deutschland)\/Act Against Restraints of Competition (Germany)\n\nHV\n\nHigh Voltage\n\nHVDC\n\nHigh Voltage Direct Current\n\nICT\n\nInformation and Communication Technology\n\nIEC\n\nInternational Electrotechnical Commission\n\nIEEE\n\nInstitute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers\n\nISO\n\nInternational Organization for Standardization\n\nITO\n\nIndependent Transmission Operator\n\nITU\n\nInternational Telecommunication Union\n\nkV\n\nKilovolt\n\nkVA\n\nKilovolt Ampere\n\nkWh\n\nKilowatt Hour\n\nLV\n\nLow Voltage\n\nLTE\n\nLong Term Evolution\n\nMessZV\n\nMesszugangsverordnung (Deutschland)\/Metering Access Ordinance (Germany)\n\nMOF\n\nMinistry of Finance of the People's Republic of China\n\nMV\n\nMedium Voltage\n\nMWh\n\nMegawatt Hour\n\nNABEG\n\nNetzausbaubeschleunigungsgesetz \u00dcbertragungsnetz (Deutschland)\/Grid Expansion Acceleration Act for Transmission Networks (Germany)\n\nNDP\n\nNetwork Development Plan\n\nNDRC\n\nNational Development and Reform Commission of the People's Republic of China\n\nNEA\n\nNational Energy Administration of the People's Republic of China\n\nNOx\n\nNitrogen Oxides\n\nnTPA\n\nNegotiated Third Party Access\n\nOECD\n\nOrganisation for Economic Co-operation and Development\n\nOTC\n\nOver-The-Counter\n\nPAS\n\nPublicly Available Specification\n\nPLC\n\nPower-Line Communications\n\nPV\n\nPhotovoltaic\n\nR&D\n\nResearch and Development\n\nRES\n\nRenewable Energy Sources\n\nRES-E\n\nElectricity generated by means of RES\n\nROE\n\nReturn on Equity\n\nRPI\n\nRetail Price Index\n\nrTPA\n\nRegulated Third Party Access\n\nSCADA\n\nSupervisory Control and Data Acquisition\n\nSDO\n\nStandards Developing Organizations\n\nSERC\n\nState Electricity Regulatory Commission of the People's Republic of China\n\nSGAM\n\nSmart Grid Architecture Model\n\nSGCC\n\nState Grid Corporation of China\n\nSG-CG\n\nSmart Grid Coordination Group\n\nSGIS\n\nSmart Grid Information Security\n\nSGTF\n\nSmart Grids Task Force\n\nSO2\n\nSulfur Dioxide\n\nSOE\n\nState-Owned Enterprise(s)\n\nSSM\n\nSupply Side Management\n\nStromStG\n\nStromsteuergesetz (Deutschland)\/Electricity Tax Act (Germany)\n\nTSO\n\nTransmission System Operator(s)\n\nTWh\n\nTerawatt Hour\n\nUHV\n\nUltra High Voltage\n\nUMTS\n\nUniversal Mobile Telecommunications System\n\nUN\n\nUnited Nations\n\nUN\/EDIFACT\n\nUnited Nations Electronic Data Interchange for Administration, Commerce and Transport\n\nUSB\n\nUniversal Serial Bus\n\nUSDOD\n\nUnited States Department of Defense\n\nUSDOE\n\nUnited States Department of Energy\n\nVPP\n\nVirtual Power Plant(s)\n\nWAMS\n\nWide Area Monitoring Systems\n\nWG FSS\n\nWorking Group First Set of Standards\n\nWG RA\n\nWorking Group Reference Architecture\n\nWG SGIS\n\nWorking Group Smart Grid Information Security\n\nWG SP\n\nWorking Group Sustainable Processes\n\nWHO\n\nWorld Health Organization\n\nTable of Contents\n\nList of Figuresxxix\n\nList of Tablesxxxi\n\n1 Introduction 1\n\n2 Conceptual framework and background 7\n\n2.\u200b1 The power sector supply chain and regulatory environment of smart grids 8\n\n2.\u200b2 The role of regulation and technological progress for the development of electric power systems 10\n\n2.\u200b3 Smart grids \u2013 promising technological innovations 13\n\n3 China's way from conventional power grids towards smart grids 19\n\n3.\u200b1 Historical perspective 20\n\n3.\u200b2 Today's power system and its most pressing challenges 22\n\n3.\u200b2.\u200b1 Power generation 22\n\n3.\u200b2.\u200b2 Power consumption 25\n\n3.\u200b2.\u200b3 Power logistics 26\n\n3.\u200b3 Smart grid development in China 27\n\n3.\u200b3.\u200b1 Motivation for smart grids in China 27\n\n3.\u200b3.\u200b2 China's technological view of the smart grid 28\n\n3.\u200b3.\u200b3 This study's view on smart grids in China 30\n\n3.\u200b4 The regulation of China's electric power system 31\n\n3.\u200b4.\u200b1 Policy setting and fundamental institutions 31\n\n3.\u200b4.\u200b2 Market structure 34\n\n3.\u200b4.\u200b3 Market design and RES integration 35\n\n3.\u200b4.\u200b4 Development of infrastructure and network regulation 37\n\n3.\u200b4.\u200b5 Coordination of generation and consumption 38\n\n3.\u200b4.\u200b6 The role of information and communication 40\n\n4 Germany's way from conventional power grids towards smart grids 45\n\n4.\u200b1 Historical perspective 46\n\n4.\u200b2 Today's power system and its most pressing challenges 49\n\n4.\u200b2.\u200b1 Power generation 49\n\n4.\u200b2.\u200b2 Power consumption 50\n\n4.\u200b2.\u200b3 Power logistics 50\n\n4.\u200b3 Smart grid development in Germany 52\n\n4.\u200b3.\u200b1 Motivation for smart grids in Germany 52\n\n4.\u200b3.\u200b2 Germany's technological view of the smart grid 53\n\n4.\u200b4 The regulation of Germany's electric power system 57\n\n4.\u200b4.\u200b1 Policy setting and fundamental institutions 57\n\n4.\u200b4.\u200b2 Market structure 61\n\n4.\u200b4.\u200b3 Market design and RES integration 66\n\n4.\u200b4.\u200b4 Development of infrastructure and network regulation 70\n\n4.\u200b4.\u200b5 Coordination of generation and consumption 71\n\n4.\u200b4.\u200b6 The role of information and communication 72\n\n5 Recommended approaches for smart grid development in China 79\n\n5.\u200b1 Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator 81\n\n5.\u200b1.\u200b1 Background 81\n\n5.\u200b1.\u200b2 International practice 83\n\n5.\u200b1.\u200b3 Recommended approach for China 84\n\n5.\u200b2 Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information 85\n\n5.\u200b2.\u200b1 Background 85\n\n5.\u200b2.\u200b2 International practice 87\n\n5.\u200b2.\u200b3 Recommended approach for China 90\n\n5.\u200b3 Introduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade 90\n\n5.\u200b3.\u200b1 Background 91\n\n5.\u200b3.\u200b2 International practice 92\n\n5.\u200b3.\u200b3 Recommended approach for China 93\n\n5.\u200b4 Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade 94\n\n5.\u200b4.\u200b1 Background 94\n\n5.\u200b4.\u200b2 International practice 95\n\n5.\u200b4.\u200b3 Recommended approach for China 97\n\n5.\u200b5 Improve grid integration of RES 98\n\n5.\u200b5.\u200b1 Background 99\n\n5.\u200b5.\u200b2 International practice 100\n\n5.\u200b5.\u200b3 Recommended approach for China 103\n\n5.\u200b6 Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption 104\n\n5.\u200b6.\u200b1 Background 104\n\n5.\u200b6.\u200b2 International practice 106\n\n5.\u200b6.\u200b3 Recommended approach for China 107\n\n5.\u200b7 Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids 109\n\n5.\u200b7.\u200b1 Background 109\n\n5.\u200b7.\u200b2 International practice 110\n\n5.\u200b7.\u200b3 Recommended approach for China 113\n\n6 Regulatory pathways for smart grid development in China 119\n\n6.\u200b1 Government targets for China's future electric power system 120\n\n6.\u200b2 Underlying scenarios 122\n\n6.\u200b3 Drawing the roadmaps 122\n\n6.\u200b3.\u200b1 Reliability\/\u200bSecurity of Supply scenario 123\n\n6.\u200b3.\u200b2 Ecological Sustainability scenario 128\n\n6.\u200b3.\u200b3 Affordability\/\u200bCompetition scenario 132\n\n6.\u200b4 Discussion of the three roadmaps 136\n\nBackmatter139\n\nAppendix A \u2013 Tables and Figures140\n\nAppendix B \u2013 Bottom-up view on China's technological smart grid vision146\n\nAppendix C \u2013 Integration levels of China's power system components in 2012 and 2010150\n\nAppendix D \u2013 Germany's smart grid vision according to the study Future Energy Grid154\n\nAppendix E \u2013 Extracts from specific laws157\n\nAppendix F \u2013 Further results from the European Mandate M\/161\n\nAppendix D \u2013 Germany's smart grid vision according to the study Future Energy Grid154\n\nList of Figures\n\nFig. Summary 1 Overview of this study's recommendations xvii\n\nFig. Summary 2 Overview of proposed implementation sequences for all three scenarios xxi\n\n Fig.\u200b 1.\u200b1  Structure of the study 4\n\n Fig.\u200b 2.\u200b1  Electric power sector supply chain model 9\n\n Fig.\u200b 2.\u200b2  Energy policy triangle 12\n\n Fig.\u200b 2.\u200b3  Development of smarter power systems 14\n\n Fig.\u200b 3.\u200b1  China's power generation capacities from 1980 to 2012 22\n\n Fig.\u200b 3.\u200b2  Standard coal consumption (2002\u20132012) 23\n\n Fig.\u200b 3.\u200b3  Installed capacities of renewable energies (2005\u20132012) 24\n\n Fig.\u200b 3.\u200b4  Energy intensity per unit of GDP (1991\u20132011) 25\n\n Fig.\u200b 3.\u200b5  Annual overall smart grid revenue of main smart grid technologies in China 29\n\n Fig.\u200b 3.\u200b6  Key Actors of China's Power Sector Governance 33\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b1  Electricity generation in Germany from 1993 to 2013 in TWh 48\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b2  Composition of the RES generation mix from 1993 to 2013 49\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b3  Abstract smart grid system model regarding the application of ICT within three distinct layers 56\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b4  Technology areas regarding ICT aspects of smart grid implementation in Germany 57\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b5  Long-term targets for Germany's energy sector 58\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b6  Responsibilities of BNetzA and of the Federal Cartel Office 59\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b7  BNetzA organization chart 60\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b8  Number of companies active in the German energy sector 62\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b9  Examples of established and new market actors in smart grids in Germany 63\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b10  Electricity wholesale markets in Germany 66\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b11  Effects of RES supply on the wholesale electricity prices 68\n\n Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b12  Development of the electricity price for private households in Germany 70\n\n Fig.\u200b 5.\u200b1  Process for the network development plan in Germany 96\n\n Fig.\u200b 5.\u200b2  Structure of the Future Oriented Energy Grids Platform 97\n\n Fig.\u200b 5.\u200b3  Organizational structure of M\/490 SG-CG 111\n\n Fig.\u200b 5.\u200b4  SGAM \u2013 The Smart Grid Architecture Model 112\n\n Fig.\u200b 6.\u200b1  Scenarios and their associations with energy policy goals 123\n\n Fig.\u200b 6.\u200b2  Priority of recommendations in the Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario 124\n\n Fig.\u200b 6.\u200b3  Starting points, timeslots of main activities, and dependencies between main aspects of recommendations in the scenario focusing on reliability and security of supply 127\n\n Fig.\u200b 6.\u200b4  Priority of recommendations in the Ecological Sustainability scenario 128\n\n Fig.\u200b 6.\u200b5  Starting points, timeslots of main activities, and dependencies between main aspects of recommendations in the scenario focusing on ecological sustainability 131\n\n Fig.\u200b 6.\u200b6  Priority of recommendations in the Affordability\/Competition scenario 132\n\n Fig.\u200b 6.\u200b7  Starting points, timeslots of main activities, and dependencies between main aspects of recommendations in the scenario focusing on competition and innovation 135\n\n Fig.\u200b 6.\u200b8  Overview of proposed implementation sequences for all three scenarios 137\n\nFig. A.1 Germany's power grids in 2012144 144\n\nFig. C.1 Power system components and market elements in the Chinese power system model 151\n\nFig. C.2 System integration levels in China in 2012 152\n\nFig. C.3 System integration levels in China 2020 153\n\nFig. F.1 Process to apply use cases as the basis for a standardization gap analysis under consideration of functional and security-related requirements 161\n\nFig. F.2 Overview on the smart grid security assessment proposed by WG SGIS162 162\n\nList of Tables\n\n Table 4.\u200b1  Electricity consumption in Germany in 2013 50\n\n Table 4.\u200b2  Demand side management potential according to German studies and sector 51\n\n Table 4.\u200b3  Frequently used measures to maintain supply security in the presence of RES 52\n\nTable A.1 Electricity consumption in China in 2011140 140\n\nTable A.2 Circuit length of transmission lines with 35-kV and above and installed capacity of transformers by the end of 2010 140\n\nTable A.3 Reliability rate of power supply for users in cities at the level of 1000-KV during the 11 th Five-Year Plan (2006\u20132010) 141\n\nTable A.4 Administrative regime of the power sector in China 141\n\nTable A.5 Regional and provincial grid operators in China 142\n\nTable A.6 Share of current application of ICT and challenges structured by voltage levels 143\n\nTable C.1 Definition of system integration levels of power system components151 151\n\nTable C.2 Definition of the prevalence of market elements 152\n\u00a9 The Author(s) 2015\n\nGert Brunekreeft, Till Luhmann, Tobias Menz, Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller and Paul Recknagel (eds.)Regulatory Pathways For Smart Grid Development in China10.1007\/978-3-658-08463-9_1\n\n# 1. Introduction\n\nGert Brunekreeft1  , Marius Buchmann1, Christian D\u00e4nekas4, Xin Guo2, Christoph Mayer4, Marcus Merkel5, Christian Rehtanz6, Andr\u00e9 G\u00f6ring4, Andre Herrmann2, Ray Kodali2, Michael Stadler2, Mathias Uslar4, Nils Vogel2, Till Luhmann2  , Tobias Menz2  , Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller3  and Paul Recknagel3\n\n(1)\n\nJacobs University Bremen gGmbH, Bremen, Germany\n\n(2)\n\nBTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(3)\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn, Germany\n\n(4)\n\nOFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e.V., Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(5)\n\nEWE NETZ GmbH, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(6)\n\nef.Ruhr Forschungs-GmbH, Dortmund, Germany\n\nGert Brunekreeft\n\nEmail: g.brunekreeft@jacobs-university.de\n\nTill Luhmann\n\nEmail: Till.Luhmann@btc-ag.com\n\nTobias Menz (Corresponding author)\n\nEmail: Tobias.Menz@btc-ag.com\n\nSven-Uwe M\u00fcller\n\nEmail: sven-uwe.mueller@giz.de\n\nPaul Recknagel\n\nEmail: paul.recknagel@giz.de\n\nSmart grids \u2013 an innovative solution for upgrading the conventional power grid infrastructure\n\nAround the world, power grid operators have to cope with several technological challenges ranging from aging grid infrastructures and fluctuating load levels to the integration of intermittent1 renewable energy sources (RES). These challenges tend to result in supply security problems. The traditional way to deal with such problems is to invest heavily in the conventional (primary) grid infrastructure by installing components like new cables, overhead lines, transformers with higher capacities, additional switch panels, or converter stations.2\n\nSeveral modern technologies have been or are currently being developed which are aimed at reducing investments in the traditional grid infrastructure by increasing operational efficiency, making it possible to fully utilize the capacity of the existing power grid infrastructure and leveraging flexibilities in electricity generation and consumption.\n\nExamples of such innovations designed to upgrade electric power grids3 are modern information and communication technologies as well as advanced power grid components for metering, measurement and control, and automation. Power grids incorporating these new technologies are commonly referred to as smart grids [1].\n\nSmart grid technologies open up many new possibilities in power grid management and control, e. g. the status of distribution grids can be monitored in real-time when sensoring and communication networks are added. With the help of the information gathered, modern automation and control technologies can be employed to supervise and actively control grids increasing their utilization rate and preventing overloads via grid capacity management [1]. Thus, the need for costly grid expansion may be reduced while the stability of the grid and security of supply can be improved [1].\n\nChallenges to China's current electric power system\n\nChina faces tremendous challenges with regard to the development of its electric power system. According to China's 12 th Five-Year Plan for Energy Development, massive investments in power generation and grid capacities have to be made to cope with the steadily rising power consumption [2].\n\nDifferent sources point to a low level of equipment sophistication in parts of the electric power grid in China, especially at the distribution grid level. In some instances, outdated and inefficient distribution transformers are still in operation [3], [4]. This contributes to a considerable number of supply interruptions, despite the fact that significant advancements have been made in recent years. At the same time, requirements of China's quickly modernizing industry with regard to power quality are on the rise and cannot be met at all times [5].\n\nChina has to cope with increasing air pollution problems [6] and is the world's largest emitter of carbon dioxide (CO2) [7]. Its power generation sector, which is mainly relying on coal as an energy resource, is responsible for a large share of CO2 emissions.\n\nGovernment targets for China's future electric power system\n\nIn light of these challenges, the Chinese government issued specific targets for the physical and technological development of the power system up to 2015: power generation capacities are to increase from 970 gigawatts (GW) in 2010 to 1,490 GW in 2015 [2] and they are projected to attain 1,935 GW in 2020 [8]. Also, the share of power generation from RES and nuclear energy is planned to be increased significantly, with an official target of 11.4 % of total primary energy coming from non-fossil sources by 2015 and 15 % by 2020 [9]. In China, power generation from RES is considered a key instrument to reduce the dependency on coal power, stop the deterioration of air quality, and reduce the growth rate of CO2 emissions [9]. The State Council also stipulated that long-distance, inter-regional and inter-provincial transmission of electricity shall be promoted in order to build a nationally integrated backbone grid. In addition, urban and rural distribution grids are planned to be expanded and renovated [2]. Investments in the grid infrastructure are projected to reduce power supply interruptions and to increase power quality. Considering the power consumption side, there are plans to significantly increase the efficiency of power use and to provide access to electric power even in very remote regions of China by 2015 [2], [10].\n\nChina's government also plans to make considerable advancements on the organizational level: a modern energy market system is to be established, market-related reforms in key energy sectors are projected to take place, energy pricing mechanisms are to be improved, and the development towards an internationally competitive environmental and energy industry is to be accelerated [2].\n\nTo support accomplishment of the government targets for China's future electric power system, the government aims at starting to build up smart grids during the next several years. As has been formulated in the 12 th Five-Year Plan for Energy Development, China's government aims at promoting the development of smart grids [2]. Also, the Chinese Ministry of Science and Technology (MOST) released a special plan for technological smart grid improvements in 2012 [11].\n\nBarriers to the implementation of smart grids in China\n\nSome aspects of China's technological and regulatory framework may present obstacles to an effective and efficient smart grid development:\n\n  * Overlapping responsibilities between different government institutions affect the government's ability to guide and facilitate the development of smart grids [5] [12].\n\n  * Compared to the electricity sectors in other countries, the information and communication technology (ICT) industry, small-sized power generation companies, and other non-established players like prosumers4 are underrepresented in (smart) grid development planning in China.\n\n  * Due to rather low electricity prices, the current tariff system may not offer sufficient incentives for saving electricity or for shifting electricity demands according to available generation and grid capacities [12].\n\n  * A lack of sufficient incentives for grid integration of RES within the existing regulatory framework persists [13].\n\n  * Similar to all other countries aiming at developing smart grids, some of the key smart grid technologies in China are not yet fully developed and some equipment specifications and standards are still inconsistent [3], [4], [14].\n\nIdea of the study\n\nThe aim of the present study is to analyze and discuss regulatory policies supporting the build-up of smart grids in China. The work is based on experiences gathered in Germany and other countries. In the context of the study, the term regulation is not restricted to purely regulatory issues. Rather, government policies such as the promotion of research and development (R&D) or standardization issues are also included.\n\nSmart grids follow an evolutionary pathway and their realization depends on the status quo of the existing grid infrastructure. Therefore, this study contains a detailed description of China's and Germany's electric power systems, their most pressing technological challenges, and their regulatory environments. Based on these descriptions, both countries' specific technological views on smart grids are presented.\n\nRegulatory smart grid pathways designed to meet the specific challenges in China are presented subsequently. The pathways include dedicated recommendations that are based on regulatory best practices from Germany and other countries. The recommendations build upon the current situation in China proposing achievable changes to the regulatory framework and relevant policies to promote smart grid development in China.\n\nThe structure of the study\n\nThe structure of the study is visualized in Fig. 1.1 and briefly outlined below:\n\nFig. 1.1\n\nStructure of the study\n\n  * Chapter 2 presents the conceptual framework of the study. The chapter also introduces the so-called energy policy triangle covering the three main energy policy goals reliability, affordability, and sustainability. Fundamental premises highlighting the importance of smart grids and explaining the role of the government in the smart grid development process are presented as well. The chapter also discusses the importance of electric power markets and third parties, i. e. new participants in the value chain of the electric power sector, for smart grids.\n\n  * Chapter 3 presents China's electric power system, its recent historical development, its regulation, government targets for China's future electric power system, and the role of smart grids in this context. A clear focus is placed on technological and regulatory challenges for China's electric power system.\n\n  * Chapter 4 contains a description of the German situation focusing on lessons learned and sharing the German experience (corresponding to challenges presented in Chap.\u200b 3).\n\n  * Chapter 5 presents recommendations designed to meet the specific challenges in China. Where appropriate, the recommendations refer to best practices from Germany.\n\n  * Chapter 6 presents three different regulatory pathways (roadmaps) each focusing on a different objective of the energy policy triangle. This offers policy makers an insight of the effects different policy priorities may have on the implementation sequence of the study's recommendations.\n\nOpen Access This chapter is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License, which permits any noncommercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author(s) and source are credited.\n\nReferences\n\n1.\n\nBundesnetzagentur f\u00fcr Elektrizit\u00e4t, Gas, Telekommunikation, Post und Eisenbahnen (BNetzA), \"Smart Grid and Smart Market \u2013 Summary of the BNetzA Position Paper,\" November 2012. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200bbundesnetzagentu\u200br.\u200bde\/\u200bSharedDocs\/\u200bDownloads\/\u200bDE\/\u200bSachgebiete\/\u200bEnergie\/\u200bUnternehmen_\u200bInstitutionen\/\u200bNetzzugangUndMes\u200bswesen\/\u200bSmartGridEckpunk\u200btepapier\/\u200bSmartGridPapier_\u200bEN.\u200bpdf?\u200b_\u200b_\u200bblob=\u200bpublicationFile&\u200bv=\u200b3. [Accessed November 7, 2013].\n\n2.\n\nState Council of the People's Republic of China, \"12th Five-Year Plan for Energy Development,\" Guofa, Beijing, 2013.\n\n3.\n\nThe World Bank, \"China \u2013 Power Sector Transformer Efficiency Program Project,\" 2012. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bdocuments.\u200bworldbank.\u200borg\/\u200bcurated\/\u200ben\/\u200b2012\/\u200b01\/\u200b15641795\/\u200bchina-power-sector-transformer-efficiency-program-project. [Accessed February 4, 2014].\n\n4.\n\nH. Sun and Y. Zhang, \"Research on and Design of Intelligence Distribution Grid System,\" China Rural Water and Hydropower, no. 2, 2012.\n\n5.\n\nF. Kahrl, J. Williams, D. Jianhua and H. Junfeng, \"Challenges to China's Transition to a Low Carbon Electricity System,\" Energy Policy, vol. 39, no. 7, pp. 4032\u20134041, 2011. CrossRef\n\n6.\n\nThe China Greentech Initiative, \"The China Greentech Report 2013 \u2013 China at a Crossroads,\" 2013. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200breport.\u200bchina-greentech.\u200bcom\/\u200b. [Accessed February 4, 2014].\n\n7.\n\nThe World Bank, \"CO2 Emissions (kt),\" The World Bank, 2013. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bdata.\u200bworldbank.\u200borg\/\u200bindicator\/\u200bEN.\u200bATM.\u200bCO2E.\u200bKT\/\u200bcountries\/\u200b1W?\u200bdisplay=\u200bdefault. [Accessed August 27, 2013].\n\n8.\n\nG. Tong, \"Status Quo of the Smart Grid Development in China and Its Driving Forces,\" National Energy Administration (NEA), Oldenburg, 2013.\n\n9.\n\nNational Energy Administration (NEA), \"Key Information at a Glance \u2013 China 12th Five-Year Plan for Renewable Energy Development,\" China National Renewable Energy Center (CNREC), Beijing, 2012.\n\n10.\n\nState Council Information Office of the People's Republic of China (SCIO), \"China's Energy Policy 2012,\" SCIO, Beijing, 2012.\n\n11.\n\nMinistry of Science and Technology of the People's Republic of China (MOST), \"Special Planning for Industrialization Program of S&T Related to Smart Grid During the 12th Five-Year Plan Period,\" MOST, Beijing, 2012.\n\n12.\n\nX. Qiu and H. Li, \"Energy Regulation and Legislation in China,\" Environmental Law Reporter, no. 7, pp. 10678\u201310693, 2012.\n\n13.\n\nC. Garcia, \"Policies and Institutions for Grid-Connected Renewable Energy: Best Practice and the Case of China,\" Governance: An International Journal of Policy, Governance, and Institutions, vol. 26, no. 1, pp. 119\u2013146, 2012. CrossRef\n\n14.\n\nY. Yu, J. Yang and B. Chen, \"The Smart Grids in China \u2013 A Review,\" Energies, vol. 5, pp. 1321\u20131338, 2012.CrossRef\n\nFootnotes\n\n1\n\nElectricity from an intermittent energy source is not continuously available due to factors outside direct control and cannot be dispatched to meet the demand of a power system. Intermittent RES are tidal power, wind power, or solar power, while biomass, geothermal, and hydro power are dispatchable and non-intermittent RES. Note that the term variable RES is used as a synonym for intermittent RES in the present study.\n\n2\n\nThe term conventional grid infrastructure refers to passive electronic components necessary for establishing an electric connection between electricity generators and consumers [1]. Note that this perspective mainly serves an explanatory purpose, because currently no grid is built or operated exclusively with passive components [1].\n\n3\n\nThe specific term electric power as well as the general term power are both used as a synonym for electricity in this study. Only if the term energy is used, non-electric power forms such as heat or kinetic energies are referred to.\n\n4\n\nProsumers are end consumers of electricity which also generate electricity, for example by means of rooftop photovoltaic installations.\n\u00a9 The Author(s) 2015\n\nGert Brunekreeft, Till Luhmann, Tobias Menz, Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller and Paul Recknagel (eds.)Regulatory Pathways For Smart Grid Development in China10.1007\/978-3-658-08463-9_2\n\n# 2. Conceptual framework and background\n\nGert Brunekreeft1  , Marius Buchmann1, Christian D\u00e4nekas4, Xin Guo2, Christoph Mayer4, Marcus Merkel5, Christian Rehtanz6, Andr\u00e9 G\u00f6ring4, Andre Herrmann2, Ray Kodali2, Michael Stadler2, Mathias Uslar4, Nils Vogel2, Till Luhmann2  , Tobias Menz2  , Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller3  and Paul Recknagel3\n\n(1)\n\nJacobs University Bremen gGmbH, Bremen, Germany\n\n(2)\n\nBTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(3)\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn, Germany\n\n(4)\n\nOFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e.V., Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(5)\n\nEWE NETZ GmbH, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(6)\n\nef.Ruhr Forschungs-GmbH, Dortmund, Germany\n\nGert Brunekreeft\n\nEmail: g.brunekreeft@jacobs-university.de\n\nTill Luhmann\n\nEmail: Till.Luhmann@btc-ag.com\n\nTobias Menz (Corresponding author)\n\nEmail: Tobias.Menz@btc-ag.com\n\nSven-Uwe M\u00fcller\n\nEmail: sven-uwe.mueller@giz.de\n\nPaul Recknagel\n\nEmail: paul.recknagel@giz.de\n\nChapter at a glance\n\n  * The study's conceptual framework is presented.\n\n  * This chapter illustrates the role of regulation and technological progress for the development of the electric power system and introduces the energy policy triangle covering the three main energy policy goals reliability, affordability, and sustainability.\n\n  * The concept of and the motivation for smart grids are introduced.\n\n  * Fundamental premises highlighting the role of the government and new market actors in the smart grid development process are presented.\n\n## 2.1 The power sector supply chain and regulatory environment of smart grids\n\nThe supply chain model of the electric power sector\n\nThe delivery of electricity from generation sources to end consumers involves a multitude of technologies, actors, and processes, especially in the context of the development of an intelligent future-oriented power grid infrastructure. Therefore, it is useful to employ a supply chain model of the electric power sector (or electricity system) to structure the debate on smart grids.\n\nIn this study, a smart grid supply chain model (see Fig. 2.1) is used to structure the discussion on China's and Germany's power systems along with their most pressing problems and challenges as well as their particular approach of how to promote the development of smart grids. The model subdivides all activities\/processes, technologies, and actors of the power sector supply (or value) chain into four basic elements:1\n\nFig. 2.1\n\nElectric power sector supply chain model\n\n  * Power Generation: the technical generation of electricity using various kinds of primary energy sources (such as coal, gas, nuclear, hydro, wind, and solar energy) and corresponding ancillary services.2\n\n  * Power Logistics: the transmission, distribution, storage, and metering of electricity.\n\n  * Power Trade & Retail: purchasing, trading, and selling electricity, as well as retail and billing services for end consumers.\n\n  * Power Consumption: the end use of electricity by different end-user segments, e. g. rural and urban households, industrial and commercial consumers.\n\nTo capture the importance of ICT for transforming the traditional power sector into a smart grid, a corresponding fifth element is added to the model:\n\n  * Information & Communication: operating, monitoring, and controlling power system components, as well as power system-related information exchange between various market actors with the help of ICT along all four stages of the power sector supply chain.\n\nThe government plays a pivotal role in the smart grid development process (see Sect. 2.3) as a guiding and supervising key player affecting processes and businesses across all five supply chain elements.\n\nThe regulatory environment of smart grids\n\nIn the remainder of this study, six regulatory areas will be used to describe the regulatory environments of China's and Germany's power systems.\n\nThe six regulatory areas are:\n\n  * Policy Setting and Fundamental Institutions: Government leadership in form of policies, laws, and regulation is essential to promote smart grid development. To practice such a leadership, a governance structure with clearly assigned roles and responsibilities for the field of (smart) grid regulation is of crucial importance.\n\n  * Market Structure: The (market) structure of the electric power sector is characterized by all the companies involved in the various stages of the power sector supply chain from Power Generation and Power Logistics to Power Trade & Retail (vertical market structure), the market composition and competitive conditions at different stages of the supply chain (horizontal market structure), and the roles and responsibilities of the market actors.\n\n  * Market Design and RES Integration: Electricity prices (for generation and retail) are of crucial importance with regard to the utilization of different sources of power generation, investment decisions for new generation capacities, power consumption patterns, and investments in power saving technologies. By setting monetary incentives for investments into power generation capacities, generation electricity prices contribute particularly to the long-term coordination of power generation and consumption. At the same time, retail electricity prices have the power to directly affect the patterns of electricity consumption of end users. The formation of electricity prices is heavily affected by the market structure and the underlying market design, the latter of which is generally defined by the government. Feed-in tariffs for RES and associated regulations are also part of the market design because they represent nothing less than prices for electricity generation fixed by the government.\n\n  * Development of Infrastructure and Network Regulation: The regulatory domain explains how investments in the (smart) grid infrastructure can be incentivized through power grid or network regulation. These regulatory practices directly impact the stable and affordable operation of the current grid infrastructure and the investments in the future grid infrastructure.\n\n  * Coordination of Generation and Consumption: In this regulatory area, government policies for balancing electricity generation and consumption in the short term are described. Many smart grid-related technologies facilitate the balancing of generation and consumption.\n\n  * The Role of Information and Communication: Integration of ICT with power system components across the supply chain is a key factor in smart grid development. This regulatory area covers the relevance of ICT companies, standardization issues, cyber security, and funding of smart grid research.\n\n## 2.2 The role of regulation and technological progress for the development of electric power systems\n\nRegulation in the electric power sector\n\nCompetition, where feasible free from government intervention, is generally considered as a very effective way of reducing production costs, improving quality of supply, and increasing product diversity [1], [2]. Yet, competition is not always feasible. Especially where natural monopolies prevail, competition cannot exist and government regulation is necessary [3].\n\nTransmission and distribution grids are such natural monopolies. Having an infrastructure of overlapping power grids from different competitive suppliers would be economically inefficient. Due to economies of scale, a single supplier (the monopolist) is able to offer the services of the electric power grid at lower costs. However, the monopolistic grid operator has a strong incentive to set high prices for its services or to scrimp on quality. Thus, the price and quality of service of the monopolistic grid operator must be regulated to protect grid users against the monopolist's market power [3].3\n\nIt is common to distinguish two related goals of monopoly regulation [3] which are both typically tasks for the regulator, like the Federal Network Agency for Electricity, Gas, Telecommunications, Post and Railway (BNetzA) in Germany:\n\n  * Control of revenues and prices of the networks (i. e. network charges)\n\n  * Secure access to the monopolistic infrastructure (i. e. the network) to facilitate competition among market actors in the commercial parts of the electricity value chain (e. g. generation, trade and retail).\n\nMoreover, the internalization of so-called externalities is a frequently cited argument in favor of government intervention even in the non-monopolistic parts of the electric power system:\n\n  * Negative externalities: the generation of electricity is often connected to emissions of environmental pollutants. Without government intervention, neither producers nor consumers of electricity are sufficiently incentivized to behave in an environmentally friendly manner. Therefore, actions of the government such as pollution control laws, energy taxes, and subsidies for environmentally friendly technologies are used to reign in commercial activities and advance the overall societal objectives like environment protection and sustainable development [1].\n\n  * Positive externalities: technological progress critically depends on the creation of new knowledge. After its creation, knowledge can be used over and over by various actors with almost no extra costs. From the perspective of the whole society, companies often do not invest enough in knowledge creation because a significant portion of the benefits related to knowledge creation accrues to outside stakeholders, e. g. other companies, institutions, or citizens. In this light, government actions such as a patent law, a stringent protection of intellectual property rights, or the subsidization of R&D can be employed to incentivize companies to invest in knowledge creation and innovation.\n\nThis study adopts a broad understanding of regulation and does not only focus on network regulation but also upon aspects such as RES integration, innovation policies, and standardization.\n\nA stylized history of power system development\n\nThe historical development of electric power systems dates back to the last decades of the 19th century in the world's most advanced countries of that era. The electrification process in these countries was mostly accomplished by the mid-20th century, when almost the whole population had access to electric power. In less developed regions, the electrification process started somewhat later and progressed at a considerably slower pace. Differences in onset and pace of the electrification process between countries can be explained mainly with technological, economic, political, and regulatory reasons [4].\n\nIn developing their electric power systems, many countries followed a similar stylized pathway. At the beginning of the electrification process, the emergence of new technologies and appliances consuming electric power led to a rapidly increasing demand for electricity. Thus, the main objective was to connect a growing number of consumers as quickly as possible to the electric power grid. The build-up process took place in a rather uncoordinated manner with only little government intervention. Thus, various small-sized companies set up overlapping infrastructures such as small-sized power plants and distribution lines. This uncoordinated set-up phase was often associated with low power quality and reliability as well as high costs. Therefore, governments started to regulate the electricity sector with the intention of making power supply more reliable and affordable. Formally assigning monopoly rights to power generation companies and grid operators created economies of scale, which reduced the overall production costs of electric power generation and distribution. After this assignment of monopoly rights, electricity market regulation became a decisive factor to protect consumers against the market power of the newly installed monopolies.\n\nWhen a certain level of wealth and economic development had been achieved, the awareness of environmental protection increased in many societies.4 Therefore, more emphasis was put on ecological sustainability of the electric power system and many governments introduced environmental protection policies.\n\nThe energy policy triangle\n\nThe schematic history presented above reveals that different objectives and regulations were prioritized at different development stages of the power system. Whereas the provision of widespread and reliable access to electricity was often the initial motivation, affordability of electric power emerged as a second driver of energy policy after the initial build-up phase. Finally, the ecological sustainability of the electric power system has often been formulated as a third important priority.\n\nToday, governments strive to incorporate all three objectives in their power sector regulation. They (1) want to provide a reliable and secure electricity supply for their economies, (2) simultaneously promote economic development by ensuring affordable electricity prices while (3) also achieving ecological sustainability. The three goals reliability, affordability, and sustainability are commonly referred to as the energy policy triangle (see Fig. 2.2).\n\nFig. 2.2\n\nEnergy policy triangle\n\nConflicting nature of the energy policy triangle\n\nThere are inherent conflicts between the goals of the energy policy triangle. A government forcing owners of fossil-fuel power plants to install filter technologies for the sake of improving air quality, for instance, is accepting that costs of power generation increase. Another government using expensive domestic resources for electricity generation instead of lower-priced resources available on world markets accepts higher generation costs for the sake of independent and predictable energy supply.\n\nThe complete and simultaneous achievement of all three policy goals is virtually impossible. Therefore, most countries place a priority on one or sometimes two policy goals, trying to achieve or maintain acceptable levels with regard to the non-prioritized policy goals. In recent years, the Chinese government, for example, prioritized (1) providing a reliable and secure electricity supply and (2) keeping electricity prices for the population at an affordable level. On the other hand, it has accepted high levels of environmental pollution. The German government, in contrast, has been placing a strong emphasis on ecological sustainability since the end of the 20th century. A prominent strategic decision in this context was the build-up of RES generation capacities so that currently approximately one fourth of Germany's electricity comes from RES [5]. The high share of RES in Germany currently leads to increasing challenges with regard to the policy goals of reliability and affordability. However, both conflicts may be mitigated by means of technological progress as well as smart design of policies and regulatory framework:\n\n  * In most cases, electricity generated by means of RES, so-called RES-E, is still more expensive than electricity generated in fossil fuel-fired power plants. This difference in generation costs has contributed significantly to climbing end consumer prices for electricity in recent years. Nonetheless, RES-E is often already cheaper than electricity retail prices (known as grid parity) depending on the characteristics of location and end-user segment. The costs of RES-E have decreased considerably during the last few decades and are projected to decrease even more with further technological advancement and economies of scale through worldwide deployment [6]. Someday, the costs of renewably generated electricity will consequently fall below those of electricity generated in conventional power plants. From that time on, investments in RES will increase both sustainability and affordability of the power system provided that the power system and market design allow for a minimizing of grid integration costs.\n\n  * With a rising of electric power generated by variable RES, more and more efforts have to be undertaken to guarantee the high stability and reliability of the power system. Below, two examples of temporary RES penetration in Germany, a power system with electricity loads commonly ranging from 40 to 80 GW, are presented: on December 5th 2013, a particularly windy day, roughly 27 GW of feed-in was generated by means of wind turbines in Germany [7]. On March 9th 2014, a very sunny day, photovoltaic (PV) installations alone fed a peak power of almost 22 GW into the grid [7]. Technological progress as well as adaptations to the existing design of the electricity market in Germany are essential to limit the cost of the ongoing transition towards a low carbon economy.\n\n## 2.3 Smart grids \u2013 promising technological innovations\n\nThe concept of smart grids\n\nThe capabilities of conventional power grids to cope with many of today's technological challenges, e. g. the integration of a large share of electricity generated by means of intermittent RES, are limited or can only be maintained with significant investments. In this light, smart grids represent a promising new technological concept. Today, the general understanding regarding the concept of smart grids seems to converge on a global level. A definition of smart grids which has found widespread acclaim in the professional community comes from the International Energy Agency (IEA) [8]:\n\n> An electricity network that uses digital and other advanced technologies to monitor and manage the transport of electricity from all generation sources to meet the varying electricity demands of end users. Smart grids co-ordinate the needs and capabilities of all generators, grid operators, end users and electricity market stakeholders to operate all parts of the system as efficiently as possible, minimizing costs and environmental impacts while maximizing system reliability, resilience and stability.\n\nAnother explanation of the smart grid concept comes from the International Electrotechnical Commission (IEC) [9]:\n\n> The general understanding is that the Smart Grid is the concept of modernizing the electric grid. The Smart Grid comprises everything related to the electric system in between any point of generation and any point of consumption. Through the addition of Smart Grid technologies the grid becomes more flexible, interactive and is able to provide real time feedback.\n> \n> It is an electricity network that can intelligently integrate the actions of all users connected to it \u2013 generators, consumers and those that do both \u2013 in order to efficiently deliver sustainable, economic and secure electricity supplies.\n\nIrrespective of the common general understanding of smart grids, the specific vision of smart grids differs substantially from case to case and from country to country. Technologies that are included in one smart grid concept are not necessarily included in another.\n\nMotivation for smart grids\n\nSmart grids are generally expected to cope with the most pressing problems and challenges of many power systems more effectively and efficiently than conventional grid technologies. Smart grids primarily aim at delivering enhanced levels of reliability and security of supply, facilitating the balancing of electricity generation and consumption, increasing the utilization rate of power system components, and reducing investments in the conventional (primary) grid infrastructure. Smart grid technologies can be used, for example, to\n\n  * monitor and control electric power grids more effectively,\n\n  * facilitate the grid connection and operation of generators of all sizes and technologies,\n\n  * help to integrate electricity generated from intermittent RES,\n\n  * allow industrial, commercial, and residential consumers to play a part in optimizing the operation of the system by adjusting electricity consumption behavior according to supply, and\n\n  * provide consumers with greater information on their electricity consumption enabling electricity conservation [9].\n\nThe evolutionary character of smart grids\n\nSmart grids are not built from scratch. Rather, they evolve from conventional power grids which are upgraded with different kinds of innovative technologies and components. These technologies and components will be deployed at different periods in time depending on commercial attractiveness, compatibility with existing technologies, regulatory policies, and investment frameworks. The evolutionary pathway of smart grid technologies is similar to that of other innovations: after major R&D efforts, smart grid technologies are developed further in specific demonstration projects, tested in model cities or regions, and finally deployed on a larger scale.\n\nToday's smart grid technology landscape is highly diverse with some technologies reaching already high levels of maturity and others still in a development process. Smart grid-related technologies with high levels of maturity are, for example, power plant communication and control modules, grid control systems, and advanced metering infrastructures (AMI). On the other hand, technologies such as wide area monitoring and control, distribution management, or electric vehicle charging infrastructure require more progress before they are mature enough for large-scale deployment [8].\n\nFigure 2.3 visualizes a stylized evolutionary pathway of smart grids: in the past (left part of the illustration), electric power was mainly generated in thermal power plants. The status of high, medium, and low voltage grids was not remotely monitored. System operators were able to supervise substations at different voltage levels via rudimentary telecontrol or by means of manual patrol teams.\n\nFig. 2.3\n\nDevelopment of smarter power systems (\u00a9 OECD\/IEA [8])\n\nIn the present (middle part of the illustration), large wind farms complement thermal power plants feeding in electricity at the high voltage (HV) level. The status of transmission grids and the associated substations is remotely monitored. The resulting status information is received in the transmission control center and can be used to monitor and control the grid. Medium voltage (MV) and low voltage (LV) grids, however, are not yet equipped with sophisticated monitoring technologies. The distribution control center only monitors the associated substations via telecontrol or by means of manual patrol teams. For the first time, small-sized wind farms and PV installations are being connected to distribution grids.\n\nIn the future (right part of the illustration), power grids at all voltage levels are expected to be equipped with sophisticated monitoring and control technologies. Status information, e. g. on electricity generation and consumption, will also be available for distribution grids. RES, energy storage installations, and electric vehicles will become an integral part of the future electric power system and will be able to exchange status information with the grid.\n\nThe role of governments in the smart grid development process\n\nGiven the evolutionary character of smart grids and the low maturity levels of some smart grid technologies, both a systematic guidance and specific government support policies are essential to promote the development of smart grids. Exemplary government policies in this context are:\n\n  * Setting up a government long-term strategy for the development of the future electricity system to reduce investment risks for potential investors in R&D and deployment of smart grid technologies.\n\n  * Establishing network regulation for transmission and distribution grid operators which incentivizes them to invest in smart grid technologies.\n\n  * Promoting a non-discriminatory and technology-neutral management of and access to power system data to enable companies to develop innovative business models making use of this data.\n\n  * Partial government funding of R&D to increase the maturity level of smart grid technologies.\n\n  * Supporting smart grid-related standardization, defining technical guidelines and regulations to reduce the costs for deployment and integration of different smart grid components by ensuring interoperability.\n\n  * Promoting the exchange and collaboration between different government organizations, power sector companies, academia, associations, and other relevant actors to create a common understanding of smart grids.\n\nThe role of new market actors in the smart grid development process\n\nIn Germany and many other countries, one important trend associated with the migration towards smart grids and the transition to an electricity system relying to an increasing extent on RES-E is a rise in the number of market actors in the electricity sector. New market actors (third parties or non-incumbents) can expand the horizontal market structure by entering into competition with established companies (incumbents) with regard to existing products or services (e. g. operators of renewable energy plants or new power retail companies). New market actors can also expand the vertical market structure by being pioneers offering products and\/or services in new market sectors or niches (e. g. energy service companies or virtual power plant operators5) or in using existing knowledge and\/or infrastructure from other sectors in an innovative way upgrading products and services in the electric power sector (e. g. ICT companies).\n\nNew market actors offer innovative products and services that were not supplied by established market actors before. In a smart grid context, non-incumbents create new business models and offer new products and services by making use of available power system information and infrastructure in an innovative way. To give some tangible examples for the power sector innovations that may be driven by third parties, Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b2 highlights how non-incumbents in Germany create new business models in the smart grid development process. Note that the German evidence elaborated in Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b2 also demonstrates that new market actors might emerge due to government policies aimed explicitly at the promotion of competition.\n\nIn expanding the horizontal market structure, third parties contribute to an increased level of competition. Higher competition levels are usually considered to drive innovation, enable greater efficiency in the allocation of resources, increase cost efficiency of power sector enterprises with regard to their operations and investments, contribute to lower retail price levels, and stimulate innovation resulting in a higher variety of competitively priced products and services offered to the customer:\n\n  * With regard to the electric power sector, IEA analyzed the market liberalization process in several of its member countries and came to the conclusion that higher competition levels in the electric power sector contributed to a reduction of electricity prices for industrial consumers [10].\n\n  * With respect to the telecommunication sector, various empirical studies (including data from industrial and developing countries) found that high competition levels significantly increased the overall sector performance and led to more landline and mobile telephone connections, lower tariffs, and more connection capacity [11], [12], [13]\n\n  * In the general economic literature, the relationship between competition and innovation has been examined in many theoretical and empirical studies. It is usually found that there is a kind of optimal market structure for R&D-spending, innovation and diffusion. Neither very low nor very high competition levels are an innovation-friendly environment. A competitive market with a limited number of companies seems to promote innovation best [14].\n\nEconomic efficiency of smart grids\n\nThe economic evaluation of smart grids is still ongoing. However, early evidence suggests that smart grids are an attractive solution compared to conventional grid expansion measures. A recent study summarizes the results of twelve smart grid cost-benefit analyses published between 2004 and 2012 in the United States, the UK, the Netherlands, Denmark, and the Czech Republic [15]. This overview shows that benefits of the investigated smart grid concepts outweigh costs in ten of twelve cases (with costs outweighing benefits in Denmark and the Czech Republic). Only four of these studies compared their results to costs and benefits of conventional grid expansion measures (increasing the grid capacity by traditional network expansion). These studies come to the conclusion that, from an economic point of view, investments in smart grid technologies are preferable to conventional expansion measures.\n\n\u25b6 Key findings\n\n### Key findings\n\n  * Governments strive to provide a reliable, affordable, and sustainable electricity supply for their economies. Yet, there are inherent conflicts between these three energy policy goals.\n\n  * Smart grids can be seen as an advanced way of operating grids supported by a broad set of new technologies in the areas of communication, metering, control, and automation. Smart grid-related operation concepts, technologies, and components can be used to upgrade the existing grid infrastructure and offer many new possibilities in grid management and control. Smart grids will be deployed at different periods in time depending on requirements of the particular power system, compatibility with existing technologies, regulatory policies, and investment frameworks.\n\n  * Recent evidence has shown that investments in smart grid technologies are economically preferable to conventional grid expansion measures. Moreover, smart grids represent a promising concept that could increase reliability and security of supply, facilitate the balancing of electricity generation and consumption, ease the grid integration of electricity generated from variable RES, and increase the utilization rate of power grid assets.\n\n  * Given the evolutionary character of smart grids and the still low maturity levels of some smart grid technologies, both systematic guidance and specific government support policies are essential to promote the development of smart grids.\n\n  * New market actors in the electric power sector are of crucial importance to promote innovation in the electric power sector and speed-up the development of smart grids.\n\nOpen Access This chapter is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License, which permits any noncommercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author(s) and source are credited.\n\nReferences\n\n1.\n\nR. Perman, Y. Ma, J. McGilvray and M. Common, Natural Resource and Environmental Economics, Harlow: Pearson Education Limited, 2003.\n\n2.\n\nP. Krugman and R. Wells, Microeconomics, New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2012.\n\n3.\n\nS. Stoft, Power System Economics, Piscataway: The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, 2002. CrossRef\n\n4.\n\nS. C. Bhattacharyya, Energy Economics \u2013 Concepts, Issues, Markets and Governance, Heidelberg: Springer, 2011.\n\n5.\n\nBundesverband der Energie- und Wasserwirtschaft (BDEW), \"Energie-Info Erneuerbare Energien und das EEG: Zahlen, Fakten, Grafiken (2013),\" BDEW, Berlin, 2013.\n\n6.\n\nC. Kost, J. N. Mayer, J. Thomsen, N. Hartmann, C. Senkpiel, S. Phillips, S. Nold, S. Lude and T. Schlegl, \"Stromgestehungskosten Erneuerbare Energien,\" Fraunhofer-Institut f\u00fcr Solare Energiesysteme, Freiburg, 2013.\n\n7.\n\nEuropean Energy Exchange (EEX), \"EEX Transparency in Energy Markets,\" EEX, November 2013. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200btransparency.\u200beex.\u200bcom\/\u200bde\/\u200b. [Accessed May 15, 2014].\n\n8.\n\nInternational Energy Agency (IEA), \"Technology Roadmap: Smart Grids,\" IEA, Paris, 2011.CrossRef\n\n9.\n\nInternational Electrotechnical Commission (IEC), \"What is a Smart Grid?,\" IEC, November 2013. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200biec.\u200bch\/\u200bsmartgrid\/\u200bbackground\/\u200bexplained.\u200bhtm. [Accessed November 15, 2013].\n\n10.\n\nInternational Energy Agency (IEA), \"Lessons from Liberalized Electricity Markets,\" IEA, Paris, 2005.\n\n11.\n\nA. J. Ros, \"Does Ownership or Competition Matter? The Effects of Telecommunications Reform on Network Expansion and Efficiency,\" Journal of Regulatory Economics, vol. 15, no. 1, pp. 65\u201392, 1999. CrossRef\n\n12.\n\nS. J. Wallsten, \"An Econometric Analysis of Telecom Competition, Privatization, and Regulation in Africa and Latin America,\" Journal of Industrial Economics, vol. 49, no. 1, pp. 1\u201319, 2001.MathSciNetCrossRef\n\n13.\n\nC. Fink, M. Aaditya and R. Randeep, \"An Assessment of Telecommunications Reform in Developing Countries,\" Information Economics & Policy, vol. 15, no. 4, pp. 443\u2013466, 2003. CrossRef00007-6)\n\n14.\n\nP. Aghion, N. Bloom, R. Blundell, R. Griffith and P. Howitt, \"Competition and Innovation: an Inverted-U Relationship,\" The Quarterly Journal of Economics, vol. 120, no. 2, pp. 701\u2013728, 2005.\n\n15.\n\nC. Mahlstedt, \"Bewertung international vorliegender Kosten-Nutzen-Analysen zur Errichtung eines intelligenten Stromnetzes (Smart Grid),\" Carl von Ossietzky Universit\u00e4t Oldenburg, Oldenburg, 2013.\n\n16.\n\nT. Luhmann and N. Vogel, \"EPM-Referenzmodell \u2013 Grundlage f\u00fcr ein marktgerechtes Leistungsportfolio f\u00fcr die Energiewirtschaft,\" Unpublished Manuscript, Oldenburg, 2010.\n\n17.\n\nE. Hirst and B. Kirby, \"Electric Power Ancillary Services,\" Oak Ridge National Laboratory, Oak Ridge, 1996.CrossRef\n\n18.\n\nS. Dinda, \"Environmental Kuznets Curve Hypothesis: A Survey,\" Ecological Economics, vol. 49, no. 4, pp. 431\u2013455, 2004.CrossRef\n\nFootnotes\n\n1\n\nThe smart grid supply chain model being referred to in this study is based on the so-called Energy Process Management (EPM) model [16].\n\n2\n\nAncillary services are functions performed by the equipment and people generating, controlling, transmitting, and distributing electricity with the intention of supporting basic services of generating capacity, energy supply, and power delivery [17]. Examples are load following, scheduling and dispatch, real-power loss replacement, and voltage control (e. g. by means of reactive power supply).\n\n3\n\nNote that, at the beginning of the electrification process, the power generation sector was also recognized as a natural monopoly: in the absence of power transmission lines, competition between power generation units from different cities or regions was not possible. With the rather small electricity demand in separated cities or regions, one larger power plant was able to provide the electric power at lower costs than many small competitive power plants due to economies of scale. However, the gradual deployment of transmission lines allowed competition between large power plants to evolve in such a manner that power generation is no longer considered to be a natural monopoly [3].\n\n4\n\nThe positive correlation between economic development and environmental preferences has been well documented during the last two decades [18].\n\n5\n\nBoth new market actors are introduced in more detail in Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b2.\n\u00a9 The Author(s) 2015\n\nGert Brunekreeft, Till Luhmann, Tobias Menz, Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller and Paul Recknagel (eds.)Regulatory Pathways For Smart Grid Development in China10.1007\/978-3-658-08463-9_3\n\n# 3. China's way from conventional power grids towards smart grids\n\nGert Brunekreeft1  , Marius Buchmann1, Christian D\u00e4nekas4, Xin Guo2, Christoph Mayer4, Marcus Merkel5, Christian Rehtanz6, Andr\u00e9 G\u00f6ring4, Andre Herrmann2, Ray Kodali2, Michael Stadler2, Mathias Uslar4, Nils Vogel2, Till Luhmann2  , Tobias Menz2  , Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller3  and Paul Recknagel3\n\n(1)\n\nJacobs University Bremen gGmbH, Bremen, Germany\n\n(2)\n\nBTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(3)\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn, Germany\n\n(4)\n\nOFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e.V., Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(5)\n\nEWE NETZ GmbH, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(6)\n\nef.Ruhr Forschungs-GmbH, Dortmund, Germany\n\nGert Brunekreeft\n\nEmail: g.brunekreeft@jacobs-university.de\n\nTill Luhmann\n\nEmail: Till.Luhmann@btc-ag.com\n\nTobias Menz (Corresponding author)\n\nEmail: Tobias.Menz@btc-ag.com\n\nSven-Uwe M\u00fcller\n\nEmail: sven-uwe.mueller@giz.de\n\nPaul Recknagel\n\nEmail: paul.recknagel@giz.de\n\nChapter at a glance\n\n  * The chapter gives an overview of the existing electric power system, the envisaged development of smart grids, and the regulatory environment in China. The main aspects emphasized in this chapter serve as a guideline for the description of the German background in Chap.\u200b 4 and the recommendations and regulatory pathways in Chaps.\u200b 5 and .\n\n  * Section 3.1 gives an overview of the more recent development of the power sector to lay a solid foundation for identifying the challenges currently facing the sector.\n\n  * Section 3.2 presents an overview of the physical structure of China's current electric power system and discusses in detail the main technological challenges in this context.\n\n  * Section 3.3 introduces the Chinese smart grid vision resulting from the specific technological challenges. In this respect, the role of the government and the ICT industry in developing the Chinese smart grid vision is especially emphasized.\n\n  * Section 3.4 describes the regulatory framework of the electric power system in China on the basis of the regulatory areas defined in Sect.\u200b 2.\u200b3. A clear focus is thereby on regulatory circumstances representing a barrier to smart grid development in China.\n\n## 3.1 Historical perspective\n\nTowards a reform of the power sector\n\nIn the past 15 years, a series of reforms have greatly improved the efficiency, reliability, and environmental performance of the Chinese power sector. However, significant challenges remain: rapidly rising electricity demand, concerns about power system reliability and energy security, environmental degradation and climate change [1].\n\nHistorically, all stages of China's power sector value chain \u2013 from generation, transmission and distribution to retail \u2013 were owned and operated directly by the central government. By the mid-1980 s, in the wake of China's opening up policy, a first set of reforms allowed new market actors, mostly provincial and local governments, to invest in power generation. This created a boom of so-called independent power producers (IPP), thereby alleviating power shortages. Today, IPP make up more than half of China's power generation assets.\n\nIn 1997, the former Ministry of Electric Power (MoEP) was dissolved and the generation, transmission and distribution assets previously under direct government control were transferred to the newly formed State Electric Power Corporation (SEPC). This marked a significant step towards the separation of market functions fulfilled by state-owned enterprises (SOE) and government regulatory authority.\n\nIn 2002, the State Council of the People's Republic of China promulgated a landmark reform for restructuring the Chinese power sector by separating power generation from grid operation (transmission & distribution). In the course of the reorganization, the vertically integrated SEPC was dismantled and its assets divided into eleven new SOE: two grid operators, five power generation companies, also known as Big Five (China Huaneng Group, China Datang Corporation, China Huadian Group, China Guodian Corporation, China Power Investment Corporation), and four power service companies providing advisory and ancillary services. At the same time, the State Council established a ministerial regulatory authority, the State Electricity Regulatory Commission (SERC), to oversee the developing competitive market structure and further push power sector liberalization and market-based reform. The aim of this major power sector reform was to:\n\n  * break-up the power sector monopoly and introduce fair competition (mainly on the generation side) within the framework set by the regulator,\n\n  * improve economic efficiency and reduce costs,\n\n  * rationalize the electricity tariff system and optimize resource allocation,\n\n  * promote the development of the power industry and push ahead nationwide interconnection,\n\n  * set up an open, orderly and well- developed power market based upon the principles of separation of governmental oversight and power sector enterprises.\n\nIn retrospect, the reforms are considered a significant step towards the diversification of China's power sector market structure. However, the market-oriented reform of the power sector \u2013 as it had originally been envisaged by the State Council \u2013 stalled after these initial steps. No progress was made in unbundling the grid operators' transmission and distribution assets or in introducing more market-based electricity prices. This lack of progress despite ambitious plans for further reforms may be attributed in part to a lack of power and independent decision-making authority of the newly established regulator SERC, which suffered from very limited jurisdiction, capacity and resources. The National Development and Reform Commission (NDRC) is a successor to the State Planning Commission (SPC), which was renamed to State Development Planning Commission (SDPC) in 1998. In March 2003 the SDPC merged with the State Council Office for Restructuring the Economic System and parts of the State Economic and Trade Commission to form NDRC, which remained the most powerful policymaker for the power sector, retaining competence over electricity pricing and major energy project approval. The emergence of the newly formed State Grid Corporation of China (SGCC, in charge of 80 % of China's electricity grid) as a powerful influence in national energy policies further hampered the stride towards liberalization of the sector. In the most recent government restructuring in March 2013, the SERC was integrated into the National Energy Administration (NEA), an institution responsible for energy planning under the NDRC.\n\nThe trend towards low carbon development\n\nFor a long time, progress in the electrification process together with the provision of a reliable and affordable power supply were the main priorities of China's government in its efforts to promote industrial and economic development. In the last two decades, questions relating to the sustainability of the electric power system have steadily gained increasing importance in China.\n\nEnergy efficiency and environmental protection were first put forward as a prominent policy objective for power sector development in China's general energy law \u2013 the 1995 Electric Power Law [2]. On the one hand, the law aimed at legalizing the status of power generation companies as commercial entities and at establishing the legal basis for private ownership [3]. On the other hand, the law stressed the importance of the environmental sustainability of the development of the power system by stipulating that\n\n> the construction, production, supply and utilization of electric power shall protect the environment according to law, adopt new technologies, minimize discharge of poisonous waste, and prevent pollution and other public hazards. The state encourages and supports electricity generation by using renewable and clean energy resources. [4]\n\nThe shift towards environmental protection was reiterated in the 1998 Energy Conservation Law and the 2006 Renewable Energy Law, which respectively aim at promoting energy efficiency and deploying RES. The Renewable Energy Law has laid a solid legal foundation that has since been followed by a number of key implementation guidelines detailing national renewable energy targets, a mandatory connection and purchase policy, a national feed-in tariff system for wind and solar energy as well as arrangements for cost-sharing and funding of renewable energy incentives.\n\nChina put forward aggressive measures to reduce the energy intensity of its economy: in its 11th (2006\u20132010) Five-Year plan, China set a target of reducing its energy intensity, measured as energy consumption per unit of gross domestic product (GDP), by 20 %. At the world climate conference in Copenhagen in 2009, China complemented this target with an overarching goal to reduce carbon intensity, the measure of carbon dioxide emissions per unit of GDP, by 40 % to 45 % by 2020 compared to 2005 levels. The targets are backed up by comprehensive plans featuring numerous measures to facilitate increased energy efficiency and reduced emissions across different sectors. One of these efforts is the Small Plant Closure Program established in the 11th Five-Year Plan. It focused on closing down small and inefficient power plants and replacing them with larger state-of-the-art facilities. In the period from 2006 to 2010, more than 70 GW of coal-fired power generation capacity was shut down in the context of this program [5]. The program not only targeted power plants, but also facilitated the shut-down and replacement of a large number of outdated small factories of energy-intensive industries, e. g. in the iron and steel and cement sectors. More recently, small coal mines and inefficient pulp and paper mills have been subject to this government policy promoting consolidation and modernization of its heavy industry.\n\nThe Top 1000 Enterprises Energy Saving Program was another measure of the 11th Five-Year Plan to improve industrial energy efficiency by targeting China's largest energy consuming companies, which accounted for almost half of total industrial energy consumption and one third of total primary energy consumption in China. The program reportedly realized total energy savings of 150 million tons of coal equivalent, 50 % more than originally planned [6]. The ambitious targets and extensive efforts to promote energy efficiency and adjust China's energy mix through the deployment of renewable energies are evidence of China's commitment to decouple its economic growth from the growth of energy demand and emissions \u2013 to reduce the carbon intensity of its economy and fight pollution.\n\nAn increasing factor influencing China's energy and industrial policy is the increasing public awareness of environmental pollution and its detrimental effects on the ecosystem and on people's health. In particular, the extreme levels of air pollution in major Chinese cities may be seen as a potential source of social unrest and has thus been given great attention by the Chinese government, especially after the serious pollution events in Beijing in January 2013 saw particulate matter air pollution levels rise to figures exceeding the 24-hour mean level recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO) by more than 30 times.\n\n## 3.2 Today's power system and its most pressing challenges\n\n### 3.2.1 Power generation\n\nCompared to international averages, China's per capita reserves of coal, petroleum, and natural gas are rather low, a situation which in recent years has resulted in an increasing dependence on the import of fossil fuels [7]. In contrast, China is endowed with large renewable energy resources \u2013 estimated at 250 GW and 750 GW for onshore and offshore wind respectively, plus significant solar energy resources [8]. Since the 1980 s, China's power generation capacity has been steadily expanding (see Fig. 3.1). From 2006 to 2012, total installed capacity almost doubled, increasing from 621 GW to 1,147 GW [9].\n\nFig. 3.1\n\nChina's power generation capacities from 1980 to 2012, data from [10]\n\nCoal is currently the primary source of electricity generation in China; in 2012 it accounted for close to 80 % of total electricity generation [9]. This massive reliance on coal for power generation and industry makes China the biggest CO2 emitter worldwide [11]. The second pillar of China's electricity generation mix is hydro power, which has a share of roughly 17 % of total electricity generation. Nuclear and wind power contribute a share of roughly 2 % each. Other sources, such as gas, solar, and biomass power, with shares of less than 1 % each, currently play no more than a minor part in China's power mix [9].\n\nAlthough China's generation mix has been relatively stable over the past two decades, the composition of the country's coal-fired power plants has undergone a significant shift toward larger and more efficient units, especially during the 11th Five-Year Plan. By implementing the policy of replacing small-size units by large and efficient plants, the share of units with 300 MW and above rose from 42.67 % of total thermal generating capacity in 2000 to 89.1 % by the end of 2010. As a result, the standard coal consumption per kWh generated has been reduced significantly (see Fig. 3.2).\n\nFig. 3.2\n\nStandard coal consumption (2002\u20132012), data from [10]\n\nWith the introduction of the Renewable Energy Law in 2006, China triggered a boom in the expansion of renewable energy development (Fig. 3.3). China has since become the world's largest producer of wind power, with approximately 13 GW installed in 2012 reaching a total installed and grid-connected capacity of 61.4 GW. With the introduction of financially attractive feed-in-tariffs in 2013, China has also recently become the world's biggest market for solar PV with record installations of around 14 GW, more than 11 GW of which is grid-connected [9].\n\nFig. 3.3\n\nInstalled capacities of renewable energies (2005\u20132012), data from [10]\n\nChina's electricity system, however, is not well-prepared for such a rapid increase of intermittent wind and solar generation units. Due to the lack of gas-fired power plants in China, coal-fired power plants are mainly employed for load-following and peak generation. These activities require a significant cycling reducing the operational efficiency of coal-fired power plants [12]. Also, limited interregional transmission capacities often complicate the usage of hydro power plants for load-following and peak generation. This contributes to high grid integration costs for wind and PV power in China [12].\n\nAnother challenge of the rapid build-up of renewables is that grid connection is lagging behind. Wind turbines are erected much faster than power lines are built. Realizing this problem, the government has made efforts to slow wind power expansion in order to reduce the share of wind power capacity which is installed but not grid-connected (by year-end) from 30 to 20 % in 2012. Due to the heavy concentration of wind power in remote regions with rich wind resources and in so-called wind power bases with 10 GW and more capacity, curtailment due to grid congestion has become an important issue: 20 TWh of wind power had to be curtailed in 2012 [13], representing about 20 % of total electricity generation from wind [14]. Since financial losses due to curtailment are not reimbursed to RES owners, wind power developers exposed to the negative impact of curtailment are increasingly building wind farms in lower wind speed regions with less network congestions.\n\nChallenges in China's power generation sector\n\n  * China is not particularly well endowed with fossil energy resources in per capita terms. A system relying on fossil-fueled generators may create an increasing dependence on foreign energy sources.\n\n  * China's heavy reliance on coal for power generation and industrial processes is contributing to high air pollution levels and CO2 emissions.\n\n  * Employing coal-fired power plants for load-following and peak generation reduces the efficiency of their operation.\n\n  * Renewable energy deployment is poorly coordinated with grid development, so that grid connection is lagging behind the construction of renewable power plants and significant quantities of wind power are being curtailed due to grid congestion.\n\n  * The high proportion of large coal-fired power plants and lack of gas-fired generators makes the Chinese power system less flexible. At the same time, an increasing share of electricity generated from intermittent renewable energy is increasing the demand for system flexibility.\n\n### 3.2.2 Power consumption\n\nSince the 1980 s, the increase in China's power consumption has been mainly driven by industrial growth. In 2011, more than 70 % of China's electricity was consumed by the industrial sector [15]. The residential sector accounted for approximately 12 % and the commercial sector for 3 % (see Table A.1 in the appendix). One reason for the high proportion of industrial loads in China is the focus on producing and exporting energy-intensive materials and goods [7]. While it is still relatively high in comparison to countries with a focus on less energy-intensive sectors [16], China's overall energy intensity of production (defined as energy consumption per unit of GDP) has been decreasing consistently due to a number of government measures to promote energy efficiency (see Fig. 3.4).\n\nFig. 3.4\n\nEnergy intensity per unit of GDP (1991\u20132011), data from [10]\n\nChina's economy is gradually shifting away from heavy industry towards high value-added industries, such as information technologies and the service sector [12]. The composition of the electricity consumption is projected to change in the coming decades. Shares of residential and commercial electricity consumption are expected to increase. As a consequence, a predicted increase in load variability and range of fluctuation will soon require a higher flexibility of electric power generation [12]. In addition, industrial demand for reliable and high-quality electricity is expected to increase due to the growing importance of information technology in all economic sectors.\n\nChallenges in China's power consumption sector\n\n  * The efficiency of energy and electricity use is low.\n\n  * Future energy demand from high value-added industries will require high power quality and reliability. Also, future demand will be more variable in nature, thus requiring a higher degree of flexibility in the Chinese power system.\n\n  * There is a mismatch between the current power generation system with its limited flexibility and an increasing demand for flexible generation due to a projected shift in electricity consumption patterns towards more variability in demand.\n\n### 3.2.3 Power logistics\n\nDisparity between power generation and consumption\n\nCoal supplies are mainly located in the northwestern, northern, and northeastern parts of China (sometimes referred to as \"Three Norths\"). Similarly, wind resources are concentrated in the three northern regions as well as along China's coast. Solar energy resources are abundant in the west and north of China. Hydro power is concentrated in the southwest and in the upstream areas of the Yellow River. While energy resources are most abundant in China's north and west, regions that are typically remote and less economically developed, the load is concentrated in the economic and industrial centers along China's eastern coast. This discrepancy presents a major challenge for power logistics (transmission) as well as for the physical transportation of fossil resources and puts a heavy strain on power grid and road\/railway infrastructure.\n\nGrid infrastructure\n\nThe regional disparity between energy resource distribution and load profile on the one hand and between the geographical location of electricity generation facilities and major centers of consumption on the other means that electricity has to be transported from north to south and from west to east. However, China does not have a nationally integrated electricity network. Its network is fragmented into six regional grids with limited interconnection operated by three grid companies: SGCC, China Southern Power Grid (CSG) and the Inner Mongolia Grid Company (for a more comprehensive overview of China's power lines please refer to Table A.2 in the appendix).\n\nAside from the limited capacity of interconnectors between the regional networks, interregional electricity trade is also heavily impeded by administrative barriers. Regional grids are made up of provincial grids, where dispatch decisions are made with the aim of balancing supply and demand within the boundaries. For cross-border power trading, provinces have to conclude bilateral contracts specifying the annual amount of electricity transmitted in each direction typically netting close to zero [17]. This way of restricting interregional trade makes it difficult to leverage the power system's inherent flexibility potential across regional borders, e. g. the use of dispatchable hydro power capacities for peak generation and ancillary services in other regions [12].\n\nAround the turn of the century, in an effort to speed up nationwide grid integration and to connect regions with significant hydro power, solar, and wind capacities with the load centers on the east coast, China started to construct Ultra High Voltage (UHV) power transmission lines. Today, China is considered a global leader in UHV transmission and transformation technology [18]. Specifically, UHV alternating current (AC) lines are used for transmitting electricity generated in coal-fired power plants or by means of RES from China's northern and western regions to the load centers. UHV direct current (DC) lines are used for transmitting hydro power from South and Central China to the east coast.\n\nAsset utilization and supply security\n\nCompared to other countries, for instance the United States, average utilization rates of the grid infrastructure in China are low in spite of the rather flat load curve [19]. Major transmission lines, for example, seldom reach a high utilization rate. In 2011, for instance, two 800-kV lines for which data are available reached utilization rates of less than 35 %. Only five of eleven trans-regional lines with 500- and 660-kV achieved utilization rates above 50 % [20]. At the level of distribution grids, average utilization rates of 10-kV lines and transformers are even lower and only seldom reach values above 30 % [19].\n\nIn principle, low utilization rates point to a large margin for grid operation often resulting in a high level of system stability and security. In the specific case of China, average annual outage times of urban users during the last years exceeded seven hours (see Table A.3 in the appendix) and those of rural users even ten hours [19]. In Germany, to give a reference value from an industrialized country, average annual outage times were only approximately 15 minutes in 2010. This evidence points to low levels of equipment maturity in parts of the electric power grid (see also [21], [22]). In recent years, investments in distribution grids have been considerably smaller than those in transmission grids [12]. Most line losses and power outages in China occur in the distribution grid [19] pointing to less sophisticated equipment in the distribution grid compared to the transmission grid (see also [21]).\n\nInvestment needs in the grid infrastructure\n\nIn the coming years, massive investments will have to be made in the electric power grid in order to cope with the steadily rising power consumption, increase supply security, and facilitate the integration of wind and PV power. It is projected that, in 2020, the total length of power lines of 110 kV and above will reach 1.76 million kilometers with an associated transformer capacity of 7.9 billion kVA [23]. This represents a considerable increase compared to line length and transformer capacities in 2010 (see Table A.2 in the appendix).\n\nChallenges in China's power logistics sector:\n\n  * The regional disparity between power generation and consumption in combination with barriers to interregional electricity exchange imposes a constraint on the efficient use and delivery of energy resources.\n\n  * The barriers to interregional electricity exchange make it difficult to fully exploit the flexibility potential inherent in the power system.\n\n  * Asset utilization rates of China's electric power grids are below those of highly industrialized countries such as the United States in spite of China's rather flat load curve.\n\n  * Supply security in China is considerably lower than in highly industrialized countries. There is evidence that a large part of power outages and line losses in China originate from distribution grids. This indicates that distribution grid equipment is less mature and sophisticated than transmission grid equipment.\n\n## 3.3 Smart grid development in China\n\n### 3.3.1 Motivation for smart grids in China\n\nSmart grids for increasing supply security\n\nA core motivation for smart grids in China is their suspected positive impact on supply security. In China, especially distribution grids with voltage levels of 10-kV and less are limiting reliability for urban end-user's, causing roughly 80 % of all power blackouts [19]. Due to missing sensoring and monitoring technologies, it often takes a long time to analyze the respective line, locate and isolate the fault, and re-establish electricity supply [19].\n\nEnhancing distribution grids with smart grid technologies such as advanced sensoring and control technologies is often seen as a means to improve the reliability of the whole electric power system in China (see e. g. [19]).\n\nSmart grids for facilitating peak shaving\n\nThe rapid growth of electricity consumption reflected in very high peak loads may cause shortages on the generation side and network congestions. Also, the rising importance of residential electricity consumption compared to industrial electricity consumption will lead to a more pronounced load curve. This trend could be further accentuated by China's continuing urbanization process [24]. With low gas generation capacities and limited transmission capacities, coal-fired power plants are mainly employed for load-following and peak generation in China. This reduces their operational efficiency. Peak shaving is of critical importance as it contributes to a reduction of peak loads and thus helps to avoid peak generation. Peak shaving might also reduce potential network congestions when demand peaks occurring in periods of network congestions are reduced via demand side management. As such, it should be seen as an important factor towards a more reliable power system in China. In addition, by reducing the maximum grid load, peak shaving helps to increase average utilization rates of the grid infrastructure, thus reducing investment needs and increasing the affordability of electricity supply.\n\nTo enable peak shaving and demand side management it is necessary to deploy an ICT infrastructure for two-way communications between end-users \u2013 or so-called prosumers if they also generate electricity \u2013 and grid operators. Together with other smart grid technologies facilitating real-time data exchange, visualization of information as well as control of devices, this infrastructure enables the grid operator to have a clear picture of electricity consumption and generation at any given time, while allowing end-users to receive price signals to adapt their electricity consumption to the variable supply.\n\nSmart grids for preparing extensive integration of RES\n\nChina has aggressively expanded RES generation capacities within an extremely short time frame. Grid connection of RES is currently lagging behind and a considerable amount of RES-E is curtailed. In this context, smart grid technologies are often seen as a means to reduce RES integration costs:\n\n  * Large-capacity battery storage systems facilitate the integration of centralized large-scale intermittent RES generation capacities of the type that are currently focused upon in China.1\n\n  * Due to frequent network congestions at the local level, a considerable quantity of electricity generation from RES has to be curtailed. More effective grid capacity management using smart grid technologies could reduce curtailment of RES.\n\n  * Smart grid technologies such as microgrids and virtual power plants ease the integration of RES at the local level.\n\n  * The grid connection itself might be more effective with smart grid technologies. One aspiration expressed in this area is that RES might be integrated into grid operation via standardized ICT connectors so that the integration of standard RES plants might become as easy as connecting external devices with computers via universal serial bus (USB) interfaces (plug-and-play integration) [25].\n\n### 3.3.2 China's technological view of the smart grid\n\nThe development of smart grids in China\n\nAn early form of smart grids was proposed in 1999 by Lu and Mei [26] in their article Basic research on vital scientific problem with collapse prevention and optimal operation of large scale power systems [27]. Five years later, distributed computing was applied in a research project for a real-time simulation of the entire power grid [27]. In 2007, the East China Grid Company, a subsidiary of SGCC, carried out a feasibility study on smart grids that examined the promotion of digital substations and build-up of a unified enterprise platform for power system data [27].\n\nThe grid operator's view on smart grids\n\nSince then, China's smart grid development has mainly been pushed forward by China's grid operators, SGCC and CSG. In 2009, SGCC proposed the strategic goal of building strong and smart grids with Chinese characteristics. SGCC focuses on the nationwide integration of provincial and regional grids by means of a strong UHV AC backbone. The first objective of this backbone grid is to ease the balancing and power exchange between different regions, the second to integrate large-scale generation from RES. CSG, on the other hand, envisages a smart grid with a more decentralized focus using primarily high voltage direct current (HVDC) links as backbone systems. CSG intends to integrate remote energy sources, especially hydro power. HVDC development will lead to separated asynchronous provincial grids. The nationwide synchronization of China's power grids is not one of CSG's main goals. Comparing both strategies reveals that the two grid operators pursue different approaches with regard to the type of transmission technology and the nationwide synchronization of China's power grids.\n\nIn spite of this disagreement, the smart grid visions of both grid operators concentrate mainly on the upgrade of transmission grids: a look at the total annual smart grid revenues from the most important smart grid technologies in China reveals that currently more than 50 % of revenue is related to upgrades of transmission grids. Substation and distribution automation technologies are responsible for no more than a low share of overall smart grid revenues (see Fig. 3.5). According to markets forecasts for 2020, the absolute increase in smart grid revenues related to transmission upgrades is significantly higher than the increases of revenues from substation automation, distribution automation, and AMI (see Fig. 3.5).\n\nFig. 3.5\n\nAnnual overall smart grid revenue of main smart grid technologies in China (\u00a9 Navigant Research [28])\n\nThe government's view on smart grids\n\nChina's government has already acknowledged the importance of smart grids for China's future energy system. In its 12 th Five-Year Plan for National Economic and Social Development, the People's National Congress explicitly set the goal of accelerating smart grid developments in China (see [27]). In the Decision of the State Council on Accelerating the Fostering and Development of Strategic Emerging Industries, the State Council also underlined the importance of speeding up the development of smart grids (see [27]).\n\nIn addition to the general commitment to smart grids, NEA also issued a general definition of smart grids:\n\n> Smart grid technologies have the purpose to integrate new energy, materials and equipment as well as advanced technologies in information, automatic control and energy storage for realizing digital management, intelligent decision-making and interactive transaction in power generation, transmission, distribution, consumption and storage. Furthermore, smart grid assets optimize the resource allocation and satisfy diverse needs of customers as well as ensure the safety, reliability and cost-efficiency of power supply. Finally, the new technology [in the sense of smart technology] bridges the constraint of environmental protection and the development of the power market.\n\nMoreover, the Chinese government supports the technological development of main smart grid technologies by means of innovation policies such as standardization and R&D funding (see Sect. 3.4.6). However, in contrast to both grid operators, the Chinese government has not yet developed a perspective of its own on the technological and organizational design of China's smart grids. As a result, the discussion of such aspects is still dominated by the grid operators and there is currently no unanimously accepted comprehensive view of smart grids in China.\n\nThis lack of common understanding among the main stakeholders is the cause of many controversies and basic disagreements on the key aspects of smart grid development [27]. The absence of such a common vision increases uncertainty for potential smart grid investors because the profitability of their investments critically depends on whether a strong and smart or a decentralized smart grid will be realized. Thus, the lack of a comprehensive smart grid vision has to be viewed as an obstacle towards the development of smart grids in China [27].\n\nMain challenges with regard to the technological view of smart grids\n\n  * Due to the contrary strategies of China's grid operators on the subject of smart grid development and the absence of a Chinese government view on smart grids, there is still no unanimously accepted vision on the technological and organizational design of smart grids in China. As a result, there is much uncertainty among potential smart grid investors regarding the future development.\n\n### 3.3.3 This study's view on smart grids in China\n\nThe present study has a clear focus on proposing regulatory policies supporting the evolution of smart grids in China. The creation of a widely accepted technological smart grid vision is beyond the study's scope. Nonetheless, a common understanding of desirable smart grid developments during the next years is necessary to determine the general direction of the regulatory recommendations. Given the missing unanimously accepted smart grid vision in China, a pragmatic three-sided approach was employed to develop such a common understanding:\n\n  * Following a bottom-up approach, China's future smart grid is considered to comprise a broad portfolio of ICT together with various modern technologies for power generation, transmission, distribution, storage, and consumption.2 This also includes modern grid technologies such as UHV transmission grids or heat-resistant wires. A recent literature review supports this view by underlining that smart grids in China focus on all sections of the power system, including smart power generation, transmission, deployment, usage and storage. Specifically, the integration of RES should also be understood as part of the topic of smart grids in China [27].\n\n  * The smartness of the current electric power grid as well as the desirable smartness of the power grid in 2020 was assessed. In particular, the current levels of system integration of single power system components as well as the projected levels in 2020 were described. In this context, system integration refers to the extent to which power plants, wind farms, transmission grids, distribution grids, and power consumers are expected to be remotely monitorable, controllable, or even autonomously controllable (self-healing).3\n\n  * Given the government's will to establish energy markets, the study compares market elements used in China today with those projected for 2020.4\n\nThis three sided-approach has led to the following conclusions:\n\n  * China has in recent years made important breakthroughs in the development of smart grid technologies. Examples for such technologies are UHV transmission grids and large-capacity battery energy storage technology.5\n\n  * On the other hand, a big leap forward with regard to many smart grid technologies is indispensable at all stages of the smart grid supply chain.6 Like in many other countries engaged in the development of smart grids, some of China's key smart grid technologies are still immature and have somewhat inconsistent component specifications and standards [21], [22], [27].\n\n  * In 2020, market elements such as regional energy marketplaces and virtual power plants are intended to be used much more intensively than today. They will be introduced at least on provincial level.\n\nWith the study's focus on regulatory issues in mind and in light of the conclusions described above, the regulatory pathways presented in this study aim specifically at:\n\n  * facilitating the widespread deployment in 2020 of those smart grid technologies which have already achieved high maturity levels today. In this context, smart grid technologies also include modern grid technologies which are not necessarily included in smart grid concepts of other countries;\n\n  * promoting technological innovations of rather immature smart grid technologies and increase their maturity;\n\n  * promoting the development of so-called smart markets (see Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b3.\u200b2 for more details on smart markets). In this context, an important prerequisite is the integration of third parties. They are seen as key players in smart markets.\n\n## 3.4 The regulation of China's electric power system\n\n### 3.4.1 Policy setting and fundamental institutions\n\n#### 3.4.1.1 Policy Setting\n\nGovernment leadership is essential to promote smart grid development. The general strategy of policy-makers towards the development of the future power system, often containing quite specific targets for short-term and long-term development, is important for companies and other stakeholders in the electric power sector: indeed, this government strategy serves as an important basis for smart grid investment decisions of both companies and households.\n\nThe Chinese government has set quite specific targets with regard to the development of the energy system until 2015. However, there are no explicit targets beyond this point in time. The most important government targets for 2015 are briefly summarized below:\n\n  * From 2010 to 2015, generation and grid capacities are planned to increase by roughly 50 % in order to cope with the steadily growing demand.\n\n  * RES generation capacities are expected to increase out of proportion \u2013 their share in the electricity mix will increase significantly.\n\n  * Average utilization rates of the grid infrastructure and supply security are targeted to increase. Specifically, power outages on the level of distribution grids, are expected to be reduced.\n\n  * The efficiency of energy use and particularly of electricity use is planned to improve considerably.\n\nA detailed overview of government targets for China's future electric power sector is given in Sect.\u200b 6.\u200b1 in the context of the regulatory pathways.\n\n#### 3.4.1.2 Fundamental institutions\n\nTo realize the government agenda, ministries and other government institutions issue laws and ordinances, monitor compliance with these laws and ordinances, propose major technological standards, and promote innovations. The question regarding whether the different government practices can be executed effectively largely depends on the governance structure of ministries and government institutions.\n\nGovernance structure\n\nThe governance structure of China's energy system, and in particular the power sector, has been subject to frequent reorganization and currently comprises a broad variety of ministries and institutions. The fragmentation of responsibilities among a multiplicity of different stakeholders makes conflicts of competence inevitable and a coherent and continuous governance of the power sector difficult [2].\n\nFigure 3.6 presents a graphical overview of the main authorities of China's power sector governance (Table A.4 in the appendix further specifies influences, roles, and responsibilities of main governmental institutions). There are four main government authorities involved in China's power sector policy:\n\nFig. 3.6\n\nKey Actors of China's Power Sector Governance, (\u00a9 GIZ [29])\n\n  * The  State Council (SC) is the highest executive organ of the People's Republic of China. With regard to the electricity sector it sets the political agenda, takes the lead for major reforms and is in charge of promulgating major plans like the Five-Year Plan for energy development.\n\n  * The NDRC is an agency under SC exerting broad administrative and planning control over the Chinese economy. It is the most important government authority for power sector regulation. Its powers include the regulation and setting of energy and electricity prices, the approval of major power sector projects, as well as energy efficiency policy.\n\n  * The NEA proposes the energy development strategy, drafts energy development plans as well as energy-related policies, provisions and laws to be adopted by NDRC or SC. NEA also advises on power system reform and market regulation. In addition to these political functions, NEA is the regulatory authority for the power sector in charge of regulating power system construction, power safety, power supply and service, as well as tariff and information disclosure.\n\n  * The  State-owned Asset Supervision and Administration Commission of the State Council (SASAC) supervises the performance of SOE such as the grid operators and the major power generation companies. SASAC exerts its power through the right to appoint, dismiss and evaluate the performance of executives, the right to audit as well as to approve key decisions.\n\nThe existing literature on China's governance structure in the electric power sector (see for example [2], [3], and [30]) often stresses several regulatory challenges potentially preventing an effective development towards smart grids in China:\n\n  * There is a significant fragmentation as well as overlap of responsibilities of the various government bodies involved in power system regulation, negatively affecting the efficiency of the sector's governance.\n\n  * In international comparison, China's major institutions governing the energy sector have a rather low number of employees, staff numbers not always being adequate to fulfill the responsibility of regulating an electricity system the size of China.\n\n  * The importance of the previous aspect even increases when the size and the power of China's major grid operators are taken into account. The grid operators' stakes are so high that it always pays off for them to hire consultants, lawyers, and lobbyists to argue their case. To address these claims, the regulator needs to be equipped with a sufficient number of highly qualified employees.\n\n  * Essential instruments to steer power sector development, like electricity pricing, remain under the authority of NDRC. The concentration of power within NDRC limits the ability of NEA to drive power sector reform.\n\nRegulatory challenges in the area of policy setting and fundamental institutions\n\n  * Efficient governance of the power sector is impeded by overlapping responsibilities and conflicts of interests between different government authorities.\n\n  * In international comparison, NEA is understaffed, underfunded and without sufficient power to make independent decisions. The lack of independence and law enforcement authority has a negative effect on regulatory performance.\n\n  * The concentration of power within NDRC limits the ability of NEA to drive power sector reform.\n\n### 3.4.2 Market structure\n\nThe market structure and especially the involvement of new market actors is a critical factor with regard to the innovation potential in the smart grid development process. The following paragraphs will describe the governance structures between the companies at the various stages of the supply chain (vertical market structure) and the competitive conditions for the companies in each part of the supply chain (horizontal market structure).\n\nVertical market structure\n\nThe competences and responsibilities of China's power system supply chain have been tightly bundled over a long period of time. The main electricity sector reform of 2002 mandated the separation (or unbundling) of the state-owned vertically integrated utility into five big power generation companies, two major grid operators handling transmission, distribution and retail as well as four power service corporations.\n\nAll of them are SOE. Under this market structure, the grid operators are assigned regional monopolies acting as single buyers from generation side as well as being the only seller with the electricity retail monopoly within their geographic area.\n\nHorizontal market structure\n\nIn the field of power generation, the five major power generation companies, the so-called Big Five are responsible for roughly 50 % of China's electricity generation. By means of its project approval process, NDRC tries to balance generation capacities between them [31]. Due to their size, the Big Five have a significant lobbying force contributing to China's power system governance together with the government and the grid operators. The remaining part of China's power is generated by thousands of smaller local and regional generation companies. In addition, there are specialized generation companies mainly focusing on power generation from one energy source, e. g. hydro or nuclear power. China's power generation sector can be described as liberalized, as it potentially allows competition between the different companies. However, compared to local governments or state-owned companies, private and foreign investors still face significant legal and administrative barriers restricting the development of a diverse ownership structure [2].\n\nPower transmission, distribution and retail are currently vertically integrated and operated by two major SOE with geographical monopolies including electricity retail: SGCC controls the eastern, central, northwestern, northern and northeastern grids; while CSG is in charge of the southern grid. In the sparsely populated province of Inner Mongolia, an independent grid operator, the Inner Mongolia Electric Power Corporation, controls the western part of the grid while SGCC controls the eastern part. Due to their importance for the development of China's power system, both SGCC and CSG are briefly introduced below:\n\n  * State Grid Corporation of China (SGCC), an SOE, is the 7th biggest company in the world according to the 2012 Fortune Global 500 list, with almost 1.6 million employees [32]. SGCC is responsible for power transmission, distribution, and retail in all five major regions of China with the exception of South China. Its operations cover 26 provinces, autonomous regions and municipalities \u2013 88 % of the national territory \u2013 and 83 % of the national power consumption [33] (see Table A.5 in the appendix for a list of affiliated grid operators). The company has ministry-like status and is a powerful force in power sector governance [34].\n\n  * China Southern Power Grid (CSG), also an SOE, ranks at position 152 on the Fortune Global 500 list and has roughly 300,000 employees. CSG is responsible for power transmission, distribution, and retail in the five provinces of South China, covering 12 % of the national territory and 17 % of the national power consumption [33].\n\nBoth grid operators are currently expanding their business portfolios across the value chain: SGCC has taken over domestic engineering firms and leading electric power equipment manufacturers, raising concerns about conflicts of interests and a threat to competition due to the concentration of multiple roles within one company (i. e. roles standard setting, manufacturing equipment, transmitting and selling electricity).\n\nAt the same time, SGCC is pursuing a \"going global\" strategy targeting the acquisition of assets abroad [35]. The advancing vertical integration of SGCC has caused discussion as to whether its mergers and acquisitions go against China's power sector reform policies of downsizing and unbundling grid operators. Recently a potential separation of grid operators into transmission and distribution companies or into smaller, regional businesses has been subject of debate [34].\n\nRegulatory challenges in the area of market structure\n\n  * Transmission, distribution and retail of China's electricity are in the hands of two grid operators. There is no competition in the power retail sector.\n\n  * The acquisitions of grid operators in other segments of the value chain (e. g. equipment manufacturing and services) threaten fair competition in these sectors.\n\n  * The size and power of grid operators makes it difficult to regulate them.\n\n### 3.4.3 Market design and RES integration\n\nThe question regarding how electricity markets are designed is highly important for the development of smart grids because market design affects electricity pricing. Pricing mechanisms, including feed-in tariffs for RES, are of crucial importance with regard to the utilization of different generation sources, investment decisions for new generation and grid capacities, day-to-day power consumption patterns, and investments in power saving technologies.\n\nGeneral market design\n\nPrices for energy resources, power system equipment and electricity were fixed by the government for a long period of time. In the 1980 s, the government started to gradually liberalize coal prices. Coal is currently at least partly traded at variable market prices, either depending on spot market rates or on individually negotiated contracts [31].\n\nIrrespective of market liberalization tendencies, China still lacks a formal and transparent mechanism for linking real costs and prices of electricity [12]. Electricity markets with prices based on supply and demand do not exist in China. Two types of electricity prices exist in China:\n\n  * On-grid prices are the prices power generators receive from their grid operator for each kWh generated.\n\n  * Retail prices are the prices grid operators (which are also responsible for retail) charge to end consumers for each kWh consumed.\n\nBoth prices are fixed by the price department of NDRC and adjusted every 18\u201324 months.7\n\nSetting on-grid prices\n\nNDRC determines on-grid prices for power generation using two different approaches:\n\n  * On-grid prices for thermal generators are set using a price benchmark for generators within the same technology class. Each power plant is contractually guaranteed a certain capacity factor (number of full load hours) equal to comparable facilities. The equal capacity factor is based on an estimate of annual power output as well as on average fixed and variable costs.\n\n  * On-grid prices assigned to owners of hydro power and nuclear power plants differ from facility to facility. They are the sum of the plant's generation costs, governmental taxes and surcharges, and profits attributed to the plant owner [2] [12].\n\nTo give a short overview of the results of these price-setting mechanisms, the following list shows on-grid prices for electricity stemming from different conventional generation technologies in 2012 (prices from [31]):\n\n  * Gas-fired power plants:\n\n0.395\u20130.710 RMB\/kWh\n\n  * Coal-fired power plants:\n\n0.311\u20130.520 RMB\/kWh\n\n  * Nuclear power plants:\n\n0.414\u20130.471 RMB\/kWh\n\n  * Hydro power plants:\n\n0.145\u20130.411 RMB\/kWh\n\nConsequences of on-grid price setting\n\nBoth price setting approaches ensure that plant operators usually earn revenues sufficient for the repayment of their investment costs within one decade [2]. That is, in principle, both approaches are sufficient to incentivize investments in power generation capacities. However, such price setting approaches based on costs are often viewed quite critically in the economic literature (see e. g. [36], [37], and [38]): for example, they are quite time-consuming for the regulator. In China, the following aspects have to be emphasized with regard to the setting of on-grid prices:\n\n  * Due to the fact that coal prices are flexible while on-grid electricity tariffs for coal-fired power plants are strictly regulated and adjusted rather infrequently, power companies are not able to directly pass on changes in fuel costs. During periods of high coal prices, power companies have seen their revenues squeezed to such an extent that they have restricted generation in order to limit their losses. This behavior further aggravates the problem of missing generation capacities and contributes to the emergence of power outages.\n\n  * The approach used to set on-grid prices of hydro power and nuclear power plants gives few incentives to save costs, because potential cost savings in one specific power plant would lead to lower on-grid prices for the plant within 18\u201324 months. Even more, such approaches give an incentive to exaggerate generation costs by means of creative financial accounting to receive higher on-grid prices [38].\n\nSetting of retail prices\n\nRetail prices are amended from province to province to account for policy goals and status of economic development. They are also differentiated according to end user groups. The current national averages of electricity retail prices for different consumer groups are:\n\n  * Commercial: 0.863 RMB\/kWh,\n\n  * Non-residential lighting: 0.791 RMB\/kWh,\n\n  * Industrial use: 0.698 RMB\/kWh,\n\n  * Residential: 0.498 RMB\/kWh,\n\n  * Agriculture: 0.419 RMB\/kWh,\n\n  * Irrigation in poor areas: 0.201 RMB\/kWh.\n\nRetail tariffs are subject to cross-subsidization in certain market segments to account for differences in income and to ensure social stability. Tariffs for residential, agriculture, irrigation and drainage use, together reflecting about 20 % of the Chinese power consumption, are lower than average generation costs. It is notable that industrial users generally pay higher tariffs than households.\n\nConsequences of retail price setting\n\nThe main disadvantage of low retail prices is that a low price level does not incentivize consumers to use power more efficiently. There is evidence that residential electricity consumers in China are quite sensitive to changes in electricity price levels [39]. Thus, increasing electricity prices would probably lead to significant reductions of electricity consumption among Chinese households. However, increasing electricity prices for residential consumers is not a political option in China given the government's intention to keep prices for residential consumers low. Therefore, China currently employs a number of other retail pricing policies that serve to align economic and environmental targets of the electricity sector [1]:\n\n  * A three-tiered pricing system has been applied to residential consumers since mid-2012. Electricity prices are set in blocks with higher rates for customers with a large electricity consumption (referred to as inclining block pricing).\n\n  * In addition, China has implemented a policy differentiating the electricity tariffs based on the energy efficiency of industrial processes. The policy, which is applied to eight energy-intensive industries, aims at phasing out outdated industrial capacities or incentivizing upgrades.\n\nPromotion and integration of RES\n\nFeed-in tariffs have proven to be an efficient instrument to promote RES in China. They are paid to RES generation installations depending on the type of renewable energy and location of the installations. Feed-in tariffs for RES generation are considerably higher than on-grid prices for hydro power and coal-fired power plants. In 2012, the ranges for feed-in tariffs of different RES generation types in 2012 were [31]:\n\n  * Solar: 1.00 RMB\/kWh\n\n  * Biomass: 0.56\u20130.77 RMB\/kWh\n\n  * Wind: 0.51\u20130.61 RMB\/kWh\n\nThe Renewable Energy Law obliges grid operators to feed in renewably generated electricity. The resulting costs are socialized through a renewable energy surcharge levied on all electricity users in China [31].8 Since the initial publication of the 2006 Renewable Energy Law, the renewable energy surcharge has been adjusted three times, with the last increase from 0.008 to 0.015 RMB\/kWh taking place in September 2013. To ensure that the grid companies do not misuse the surcharge, it is turned over to the Ministry of Finance (MOF) in a first step. The grid companies then apply to MOF and NEA for the disbursement of these funds with supporting documentation [40]. This procedure causes a delay in the reimbursement of grid operators' expenses for purchasing power generated from renewables, which in turn results in a lack of operating capital with serious effects on the whole supply chain. Grid operators delay payments to wind power developers, who in turn are unable to pay renewable energy equipment manufacturers (e. g. wind turbines), resulting in delayed payment of component suppliers. This situation is expected to be alleviated with the recent doubling of the renewable energy surcharge. From the grid operator's perspective, delays in reimbursement may be seen as a reason to delay the grid connection of renewable energy generators.\n\nRegulatory challenges in the area of market design and RES integration\n\n  * On-grid and retail electricity prices do not reflect actual costs and are adjusted only infrequently.\n\n  * The approach used for setting on-grid prices of hydro and nuclear power plants gives only few incentives for cost savings. Rather it gives incentives to exaggerate costs to achieve a higher on-grid price.\n\n  * Although a system of tiered prices has been introduced for residential consumers, the low overall level of retail electricity prices does not provide sufficient incentives for consumers to use power more efficiently.\n\n  * Delays in the disbursement of RES funds leads to a lack of operating capital along the renewable energy value chain and provides a disincentive for grid operators to connect RES plants to the grid.\n\n### 3.4.4 Development of infrastructure and network regulation\n\nThis section explains how grid planning is done in China and how investments in the (smart) grid infrastructure are incentivized. The pertinent regulatory practices directly impact the stable and affordable operation of the current grid infrastructure and the investments in the prospective smart grid infrastructure.\n\nNetwork expansion planning\n\nThe government's key target is cost-efficient extension and development of the power grid in order to cope with the steadily increasing electricity consumption and minimize supply interruptions.\n\nTargets on the development of grid infrastructure and grid operators' performance are specified by the government in a top-down process. However, little information is publicly available on official grid expansion plans [41]. As a result, the document Framework and Roadmap for Strong and Smart Grid Standards, published by SGCC in 2010 [42], serves as an unofficial (smart) grid development plan in China [41]. With respect to grid expansion planning, there is little guidance from the government and little coordination among existing power system stakeholders.\n\nNetwork regulation\n\nAt present, there is no explicit price for transmission and distribution (network charge) based on actual costs. The source of grid operators' income is the difference between the on-grid and the retail price for electricity. This amount covers all costs of the grid operators: grid operation and maintenance, grid upgrade and expansion, management, metering and billing, etc. The remainder makes up the profits of the grid operator. The government targets a rate-of-return for the grid operators in the range of about 8 to 10 % [43]. This practice, in combination with the rather infrequent adjustments of the retail electricity tariffs, has an impact on the ability of grid companies to quickly and predictably recoup costs. In turn, the grid companies may exhibit little motivation to invest and assume costs related to the implementation of government policies and regulations, e. g. for investments related to renewable grid connection and integration, investments in end-use energy efficiency or distributed generation [1]. Moreover, the cost structure of power sector companies lacks transparency and power sector data and information available to the public is very limited. Opaque costs affect the government's ability to regulate and inform the setting of electricity prices.\n\nThere are no clear rules for accounting of costs, revenues, and profits and no transparent administrative process for setting allowed revenues. Without this foundation the government is unable to audit companies' accounting records or exact penalties for noncompliance with reporting obligations, information requests or other government requirements [1].\n\nRegulatory challenges in the area of development of infrastructure and network regulation\n\n  * Grid expansion planning is organized in a top-down process with low transparency and little involvement of players other than government authorities and grid operators.\n\n  * The price-setting mechanism with respect to wholesale and retail prices together with the rather infrequent adjustments of retail prices reduces the ability of grid companies to quickly recoup costs. This might reduce their willingness to incur costs related to other government policies (for instance related to RES integration).\n\n  * A lack of transparency of costs impedes the efficient and informed regulation of power sector companies.\n\n### 3.4.5 Coordination of generation and consumption\n\nThe following paragraphs describe general responsibilities for coordinating electricity generation and consumption. Government measures implemented in this context are also presented.\n\nLong-term coordination of generation and consumption\n\nChina's rapid economic growth has resulted in a steadily increasing electricity consumption. The Chinese government promotes the expansion of generation and grid capacities. In addition, the role of energy efficiency as an instrument to decouple the rise of power consumption from economic growth has been recognized. Numerous policies to promote energy efficiency have been promulgated: for instance, national targets for energy intensity, differential pricing for energy-intensive industries and energy efficiency obligations requiring Chinese grid companies to realize energy conservation targets (e. g. through end-user energy efficiency programs).\n\nShort-term coordination of generation\n\nHistorically, dispatch of power plants in China is organized by means of a so-called equal shares dispatch or generation quota system. China allocates operating hours equally among the coal-fired generators that constitute the bulk of China's generating capacity. This system is intended to give each generator an equal chance to recover capital costs and achieve a reasonable return-on-investment, but it largely ignores the fact that plants within the coal fleet vary significantly in terms of efficiency and environmental performance [44]. Annual operating hours for generators are set administratively by Provincial Economic and Trade Commissions (PETC) and approved nationally by NDRC. As a result, the overall performance of the power system has suffered significantly in terms of cost, environmental performance, and distorted investment decisions. The dependence of each coal-fired generator on running a similar guaranteed number of hours has become a major barrier to reforming dispatch in China.\n\nIn 2007, China started to pilot a so-called energy efficient dispatch system. This system sets a dispatch order prioritizing generators on the basis of heat and emissions rates favoring renewable and low carbon generation sources, with coal-fired power plants dispatched according to their thermal efficiency. This order is based on the priority order table created by PETC and is updated quarterly based on changes in generator parameters and the addition of new units [45]. Hence, the power generation quotas of power generation facilities are no longer guaranteed [46]. Since on-grid prices are calculated on the basis of a fixed estimate of annual operating hours, generators will face a revenue shortfall if average operating hours fall below the projected level [44]. One of the main drawbacks of the policy was a lack of compensation of power and grid companies for lost revenues due to the changes in dispatch. The pilot has proved to be difficult to implement and has not spread to the whole country [47].\n\nRegardless of whether a generation quota or an energy-efficient dispatch system is used, the specific day-to-day dispatching is in the hand of dispatch centers under the authority of national, regional, provincial, or local grid companies. The dispatch centers take into account factors like load forecasts, the availability of power plants, and constraints for system reliability. On this basis, the dispatch centers set day-ahead commitment plans for the power plants. Power generation companies are subsequently obliged to supply power as required [44].\n\nShort-term coordination of consumption\n\nLike in all other regions of the world, China's intraday power generation follows intraday power demand. However, early attempts have been made to influence the hourly pattern of China's power consumption and to shift power consumption from peak times to off-peak times: since the 1990 s, many provinces have started to coordinate power consumption by means of interruptible loads and time-of-use prices:\n\n  * Interruptible loads refer to a pricing mechanism in which large industrial consumers are paid for curtailing their loads in times of network congestions. This demand response (DR) mechanism has been piloted and regionally applied in China [12].\n\n  * Time-of-use pricing means that the electricity price varies depending on the time-of-day when electricity is provided. In times of network congestions prices tend to be high to incentivize electricity consumers to reduce their consumption. With the 2005 Interim Provisions for the Administration of Power Selling Prices, the Chinese government stressed the role of time-of-use prices to reflect real costs at different day times [2]. Time-of-use pricing has been implemented mainly for industrial and commercial users [48]. In some regions, time-of-use pricing is also applied to residential customers. The Chinese government has recently announced that it will introduce time-of-use pricing for residential consumers on a national level by the end of 2015 [49]. Overall, it is still questionable whether the existing incentives are actually sufficient to induce customers to shift electricity consumption to off-peak times [2].\n\nRegulatory challenges in the area of coordination of generation and consumption\n\n  * The generation quota system ignores the fact that power plants within the coal fleet vary significantly in terms of efficiency and environmental performance. As a result, the overall performance of the system has suffered significantly in terms of cost, environmental performance and distorted investment decisions.\n\n  * The dispatch model is closely linked to the electricity pricing mechanism; no dispatch reform can be introduced without a reform of electricity pricing, and such a reform would have to compensate coal power plants whose revenue is calculated on the basis of the existing dispatch model.\n\n  * China has made remarkable progress with regard to the introduction of time-of-use pricing. Such pricing mechanisms are planned to be applied to all categories of customers in 2015. However, it is unclear whether the specific design of time-of-use prices actually sets sufficient incentives for shifting electricity use among all groups of customers.\n\n### 3.4.6 The role of information and communication\n\nThe government's role in promoting smart grid-related ICT\n\nThe Chinese government promotes innovations surrounding smart grids mainly by focusing on the supply of smart grid technologies: on the one hand, the Chinese government counts on public enterprises as main drivers of smart grid innovations. On the other hand, it allocates significant financial funds to promote R&D activities or to build up demonstration sites [50]. Specifically, in 2012 the MOST released a special plan for smart grids focusing on R&D and considering the 12th five-year period (from 2011 to 2015). The smart grid special plan focuses on three main strategic goals:\n\n  * It is forward-looking and sets the agenda for the Chinese smart grid development after 2015. It promotes the development of so-called cutting-edge smart grid technologies which might be deployed after 2015.\n\n  * It aims at ensuring that existing modern technologies such as those listed in appendix B are introduced very fast into the Chinese energy system.\n\n  * It highlights that China must keep up with world-class smart grid research developments and should carry out cutting-edge smart grid technology research.\n\nThe general idea behind the smart grid special plan is that the development of smart grids should be business-orientated and primarily rely on the innovation capacity of domestic companies, which are intended to achieve international technical dominance by 2020. This will require a more profound and more effective involvement in international research cooperation and standardization processes.\n\nThe promotion of smart grid standards is another important channel for the government to influence the evolution of Chinese smart grids. One example for such activities is the work of the State Council, which has issued a plan for modifying and promoting the power equipment manufacturing industry [50]. Another example is the China Electric Power Research Institute directly emitting standards on Low Voltage Power Line Carrier Communication or Intelligent Control Network Data Terminal [50].\n\nPolicies focusing on the demand for smart grid technologies are of rather low importance for the Chinese government in its efforts to promote smart grids [50]. Note that this prevalence of supply-side policies together with the rather low importance of demand-side policies in China are a sign that, much like the situation in other countries, China's smart grid industry is still in the initial phase of its development [50].\n\nThe role of the ICT industry in promoting smart grids\n\nChina's ICT sector is representative of the massive changes in China's industry and economy. Since the economic reforms in 1978, it has been growing rapidly with large inward and outward foreign direct investment flows and export-led activities [51]. Today, most of China's ICT companies are private companies that are not owned by the state. Many of them have been founded by foreign investors or companies. The Chinese strategy of building national champions has already yielded the creation of several ambitious companies which became global players [51]: Huawei Technologies, Lenovo, and ZTE are good examples of such companies. Huawei and ZTE are major players in the Global System for Mobile Communications (GSM), Code Division Multiple Access (CDMA), Optical and Digital Subscriber Line Access Multiplexer (DSLAM) equipment markets. Huawei Technologies in particular has emerged as a leading provider of telecommunications networks that increasingly challenges established competitors like Siemens, Cisco, and Alcatel [51].\n\nIrrespective of the increasing importance of China's ICT sector, most ICT companies have few stakes in the strategic development of China's smart grid vision. Even though these companies act as component and technology suppliers, they are less engaged in the strategic development process, which is mainly pushed forward by the government, the grid companies, and the power generation companies.9\n\nRegulatory challenges in the area of the role of information and communication\n\n  * There is a need for cutting-edge smart grid technology research to keep up with international level smart grid research developments.\n\n  * China's ICT industry consists of many ambitious and competitive companies, some of them global players. However, ICT industry is currently underrepresented in the strategic development of smart grids in China. Therefore, the large innovation potential of the ICT sector risks not being fully integrated in the Chinese smart grid development.\n\n\u25b6 Key findings\n\n#### Key findings\n\n  * In the past 15 years, a series of reforms have greatly improved the efficiency, reliability, and environmental performance of the Chinese power sector. However, significant challenges remain: rapidly rising electricity demand, concerns about power system reliability and energy security, low average utilization rates of the grid infrastructure, environmental degradation and climate change.\n\n  * A core motivation for smart grids in China is their suspected positive impact on supply security and operational efficiency, especially on the distribution grid level. Peak shaving enabled by means of smart grid technologies plays an important role to increase supply security and operational efficiency. Smart grid technologies are also seen as a means to reduce RES integration costs, which is of critical importance given the Chinese government's aggressive RES expansion targets.\n\n  * Due to the absence of a common smart grid view in China and the contrary strategies on smart grid development among China's grid operators, there is still no unanimously accepted technological and organizational concept of smart grids in China. As a result, the uncertainty of potential smart grid investors regarding the future technological development is high.\n\n  * Some regulatory aspects of China's electric power system represent barriers for the effective and efficient development of smart grids in China:\n\n    * The absence of government guidelines for the long-term development of the electric power sector, overlapping responsibilities and conflicts of interests between different government authorities, and the lack of independence and law enforcement of the regulatory authority point to insufficient government leadership with regard to smart grid development.\n\n    * The market structure is dominated by China's grid operators, who are responsible for transmission, distribution, and retail. Innovative and new market actors, and specifically the ICT industry, are hardly involved in the smart grid development process.\n\n    * On-grid prices, retail prices, and the operating hours of power plants are fixed by government authorities. Grid operators' income depends on the difference between retail and on-grid prices \u2013 network charges are not explicitly calculated. 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Hu, \"The Political Economy of Electricity Dispatch Reform in China,\" Energy Policy, 2012.\n\n45.\n\nState Council of the People's Republic of China, \"Pilot Measures for Energy Efficient Dispatch,\" 2007. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200bgov.\u200bcn\/\u200bzwgk\/\u200b2007-08\/\u200b07\/\u200bcontent_\u200b708486.\u200bhtm. [Accessed January 17, 2014].\n\n46.\n\nG. Ciwei and L. Yang, \"Evolution of China's Power Dispatch Principle and the New Energy Saving Power Dispatch Policy,\" Energy Policy, vol. 38, no. 11, pp. 7346\u20137357, 2010.CrossRef\n\n47.\n\nY. Ding and H. Yang, \"Promoting Energy-Saving and Environmentally Friendly Generation Dispatching Model in China: Phase Development and Case Studies,\" Energy Policy, vol. 57, no. 0, pp. 109\u2013118, 2013. CrossRef\n\n48.\n\nAzure International , \"Azure China Cleantech Update,\" Azure International , 2013.\n\n49.\n\nJ. St. John, \"China Wants Time-of-Use Pricing by 2015, One Meter per Home by 2017,\" Greentech Media Inc., January 2014. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200bgreentechmedia.\u200bcom\/\u200barticles\/\u200bread\/\u200bchina-wants-time-of-use-pricing-by-2015-one-meter-per-home-by-2017. [Accessed March 6, 2014].\n\n50.\n\nC.-C. Lin, C.-H. Yang and J. Z. Shyua, \"A Comparison of Innovation Policy in the Smart Grid Industry Across the Pacific: China and the USA,\" Energy Policy, vol. 57, pp. 119\u2013132, 2013. CrossRef\n\n51.\n\nJ.-P. Simon, \"The ICT Landscape in BRICS Countries \u2013 China,\" Digiworld Economic Journal, vol. 85, pp. 191\u2013202, 2012.\n\n52.\n\ngreentechmedia.com, \"How China Will Impact the Grid-Scale Energy Storage Market,\" greentechmedia.com, July 2012. Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200bgreentechmedia.\u200bcom\/\u200barticles\/\u200bread\/\u200bHow-China-Will-Impact-the-Grid-Scale-Energy-Storage-Market. [Accessed June 7, 2014].\n\nFootnotes\n\n1\n\nOne example for the trend towards large-capacity battery storage are the activities of BYD. The Chinese manufacturer of automobiles and rechargeable batteries built one of the world's largest lithium-ion battery energy storage systems, a 36-megawatt-hour system, located in Zhangbei, Hebei [52].\n\n2\n\nPlease refer to appendix B for a complete overview of all modern technologies that are subsumed under the smart grid label in this study.\n\n3\n\nPlease refer to appendix C for a complete overview of the results.\n\n4\n\nPlease refer to appendix C in for a complete overview of the results of this discussion.\n\n5\n\nPlease refer to appendix B for a complete list and description of these technologies.\n\n6\n\nPlease refer to appendix C for an overview of the necessary technological advancement during the next years.\n\n7\n\nJointly with local and provincial price bureaus, the price department of NDRC is responsible for the formulation, inspection, approval and establishment of the tariff, as well as for the supervision and inspection of the tariff implementation. In addition to NDRC, the NEA may put forward suggestions to the price department of NDRC.\n\n8\n\nNote that agricultural uses and power consumers in Tibet are excepted from the surcharge [43].\n\n9\n\nThey seem to show even less engagement in China's smart grid development than international players such as Cisco or IBM.\n\u00a9 The Author(s) 2015\n\nGert Brunekreeft, Till Luhmann, Tobias Menz, Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller and Paul Recknagel (eds.)Regulatory Pathways For Smart Grid Development in China10.1007\/978-3-658-08463-9_4\n\n# 4. Germany's way from conventional power grids towards smart grids\n\nGert Brunekreeft1  , Marius Buchmann1, Christian D\u00e4nekas4, Xin Guo2, Christoph Mayer4, Marcus Merkel5, Christian Rehtanz6, Andr\u00e9 G\u00f6ring4, Andre Herrmann2, Ray Kodali2, Michael Stadler2, Mathias Uslar4, Nils Vogel2, Till Luhmann2  , Tobias Menz2  , Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller3  and Paul Recknagel3\n\n(1)\n\nJacobs University Bremen gGmbH, Bremen, Germany\n\n(2)\n\nBTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(3)\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn, Germany\n\n(4)\n\nOFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e.V., Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(5)\n\nEWE NETZ GmbH, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(6)\n\nef.Ruhr Forschungs-GmbH, Dortmund, Germany\n\nGert Brunekreeft\n\nEmail: g.brunekreeft@jacobs-university.de\n\nTill Luhmann\n\nEmail: Till.Luhmann@btc-ag.com\n\nTobias Menz (Corresponding author)\n\nEmail: Tobias.Menz@btc-ag.com\n\nSven-Uwe M\u00fcller\n\nEmail: sven-uwe.mueller@giz.de\n\nPaul Recknagel\n\nEmail: paul.recknagel@giz.de\n\nChapter at a glance\n\n  * This chapter gives an overview of Germany's electric power system, its physical infrastructure, the regulatory environment, and the vision for smart grid development. The main topics presented were selected with the intention of providing examples of lessons learned and of sharing the German experience in the area of the main technological and regulatory challenges presented in the previous chapter.\n\n  * The chapter contains a detailed description of the historical development and current design of German electricity markets with a special emphasis on market liberalization policies. It also focuses on the effects of aggressively expanding RES generation capacities in the context of such markets. The evidence presented here might be insightful for Chinese policy-makers given their will to promote the establishment of electricity markets and to increase RES generation capacities.\n\n## 4.1 Historical perspective\n\nReliability and affordability as the first policy goals\n\nIn the first decades of the electrification process, Germany's electricity system developed rather independently from governmental regulation. Power generation units and electric power grids were built up in a decentralized manner and operated by a variety of local and regional companies. After World War I, 220-kV transmission grids were constructed to interconnect local and regional power grids. The trend towards a nationally integrated electric power grid contributed to increasing competition between companies from different regions which in turn resulted in a pronounced market consolidation.\n\nThe time of little government interference ended in 1935, when the German government issued the Energy Industry Act (EnWG). The main objective of this law was to pave the way for the effective and efficient development of a nationally integrated and reliable electricity grid. This goal was supposed to be achieved by incentivizing investments in generation units and in the grid infrastructure by formally assigning monopoly rights to predominant companies. Monopolistic structures were deemed more suitable to guarantee a reliable power grid and to operate the grid in a cost-efficient manner taking advantage of economies of scale.\n\nAs a result of regional monopoly rights, EnWG created an electricity system with a high degree of vertical integration and a low degree of competition. Electricity generation and transmission assets were owned and operated by integrated utilities, while electricity distribution and retail was in the hand of integrated municipal utilities. The municipal utilities were owned either by local governments or by the integrated utilities responsible for generation and transmission, which then combined all stages of the electricity supply chain into a single company. To protect consumers against the market power of the newly installed monopolies, EnWG obliged the companies to provide electricity to every end consumer; the Act also regulated construction and expansion of power plants in order to ensure system stability.\n\nSustainability as a more recent policy goal\n\nOne important shift in Germany's electricity market regulation regime had its origin in the 1970 s, when environmental protection gained momentum as a new policy goal [1]. Due to high levels of local and regional air pollution caused by the combustion of fossil fuels for electricity generation, the German government issued the Federal Pollution Control Act (BIMSchG) in 1974. This law and its ordinances obliged power plants to install filter technology in order to reduce, for instance, sulfur dioxide (SO2) or nitrogen oxides (NOx) emissions. In the 1990 s, the German government further strengthened the role of environmental protection:\n\n  * The 1991 Act on the Feed-In of Electricity from Renewable Sources into the Public Grid and its more prominent successor, the Renewable Energy Act (EEG) of 2000, had the objective to incentivize investments in renewable energies by guaranteeing investors financially attractive feed-in tariffs.\n\n  * Another example of Germany's regime shift to environmental protection is the Electricity Tax Act (StromStG) of 1999 which, amongst other objectives, had the aim of inducing consumers to consume less electricity by raising electricity prices.\n\nPublic acceptance \u2013 towards a fourth energy policy goal\n\nThe increasing importance of sustainability is generally supported by the German population. However, citizens are more frequently opposed to new energy infrastructures near residential areas if these infrastructures are related to visible, audible, or olfactory effects. In the light of Germany's rather high population density, the build-up of distributed and renewable energy sources has of late entailed rising public opposition. An increasing number of citizens disapprove of investments in new wind farms, biomass power plants or transmission lines [2]. During the last few years, a certain number of energy projects \u2013 for instance new transmission lines or demonstration sites for carbon capture and storage \u2013 have failed to be realized owing to public opposition against them [3], [4]. As a consequence, public acceptance has recently gained prominence in the discussion as a fourth general energy policy goal in Germany, since it is only with a high level of public acceptance that the government and the companies are able to realize their investment plans [2]. Experiences in Germany reveal that three elements are important to ensure the support of the population for investments in energy infrastructure:\n\n  * There has to be transparency on costs, benefits, and risks of new investments and technologies while the underlying motivations of the stakeholders involved in a project have to be communicated to the public.\n\n  * The public has to be included in the entire planning process of new projects. Private citizens and other public stakeholders must be able to communicate their position and may also be allowed to invest financial funds of their own in the project.\n\n  * Given that some conflicts cannot be solved unanimously, specific institutions or procedures for mediation and reconcialiation of interest are necessary to reduce number of court-cases [2].\n\nA short summary of market liberalization tendencies since 1996\n\nFor a long time, Germany's electric power system was characterized by a high degree of vertical integration and a low degree of competition. Today, the different stages in the supply chain are in a state of far-reaching unbundling, and competition has been established in the generation and retail sectors.\n\nThe market liberalization process on the European level began in 1996 with the First Electricity Directive [5], which was issued by the European Union (EU) and motivated by two main objectives [6]:\n\n  * To open the electric power sector for third parties and to prevent discriminatory behavior towards generation companies by grid operators.\n\n  * To allow end consumers to choose their retailer in an effort to increase the affordability of electricity through more competition. Thus, the protected supply areas (regional monopolies) of the incumbent retail companies were abandoned in favor of retail competition.\n\nBased on this directive, the German government in 1998 revised EnWG and started to liberalize Germany's electricity sector. After a short period of promising results with market entries of independent retail companies and decreasing retail prices, retail prices increased again. In addition, the market concentration did not decline significantly. Questions emerged regarding whether competition in generation and retail could be achieved as long as grid operators still had ownership in generation. Accordingly, the Second Electricity Directive issued by the European Union in 2003 contained a package of requirements to achieve legal unbundling. Legal unbundling can be described as an unbundling of accounts, operations, and information. It requires that transmission and distribution grid operators are independent from each other, as well as from generation and retail. In practice, legal unbundling requires a functional unbundling by guaranteeing independence in terms of legal form, organization\/management and decision-making.\n\nBased on the 2007 inquiry into the energy sector, the European Commission (EC) stated that, in spite of legal unbundling, the level of competition in the European energy market was still too low [7]. Major challenges were identified with respect to market concentration and vertical foreclosure.1 This document criticized the fact that with legal unbundling, a utility might still be able to discriminate against competitors or even restrict access of new market actors to the infrastructure. In addition, the Commission Paper stated that a grid operator involved in competitive sectors might be able to cross-subsidize its activities in the market with the revenues generated from the monopoly part of its business [8]. Furthermore, the European Commission was concerned about insufficient incentives for network investments, especially across borders. Generally speaking, markets for electricity were organized on a national basis and there was only a weak relation between the various national markets, as shown by grid congestions at most borders. The Commission argued that incumbents might postpone investments into interconnector capacities in order to protect their own market against cheaper electricity imports. This behavior is known as strategic investment withholding by locally integrated utilities [9].\n\nIn 2009, the EU's Third Electricity Directive introduced a compromise with three different options for unbundling on the transmission level. Basically, the aim of this rule was to separate the transmission grid from the other stages of the supply chain. The three options were:\n\n  * Full ownership unbundling prohibits ownership of network and generation or retail assets by one and the same firm.\n\n  * A model based on an Independent System Operator requires that an entity independent from the transmission grid owner takes over grid operation. With an independent system operator, network ownership can remain within an integrated company which also owns generation assets.\n\n  * A model based on an Independent Transmission Operator (ITO) allows companies to retain both network ownership and management, but it puts strong limitations on cross involvement of employees in order to ensure network independence (please refer to [10] for further explanations on this model). In effect, the ITO model is similar to legal unbundling, though in a stronger form.\n\nIn Germany, the ITO model was applied. It had to be ensured that the transmission system was owned and operated by the ITO, which is legally independent from the commercial businesses of electricity generation and retail. Currently three out of the four transmission system operators (TSO) in Germany apply full ownership unbundling; the fourth is a genuine ITO. Distribution grids are currently subject to legal unbundling requiring administrative separation similar to the ITO model though in a less restrictive form. The objective is to ensure that no commercially sensitive information is exchanged between the power grid and other parts of the supply chain within one integrated company. Note that administrative unbundling is only applied for distribution system operators (DSO) with more than 100,000 customers. DSO with fewer customers do not have to unbundle and can remain an integrated part of a utility. This exception is known as the de-minimis rule.\n\n## 4.2 Today's power system and its most pressing challenges\n\n### 4.2.1 Power generation\n\nIn 2013, Germany's gross electricity generation amounted to roughly 634 TWh. Coal is currently Germany's predominant primary energy source, accounting for more than 45 % of total electricity generation.2 Nuclear power and gas are the second and third most important generation sources, accounting for approximately 15 % and 11 % of overall electricity generation respectively. Roughly 24 % of total electricity generation comes from RES, with wind accounting for 8.4 %, biomass for 6.7 %, solar for 4.7 %, hydro for 3.2 %, and household waste for 0.8 % [11].\n\nDuring the last 20 years, overall electricity generation increased only slightly (see Fig. 4.1). However, the composition of the electricity mix has changed significantly owing to two specific governmental policies: the promotion of RES initiated in the 1990 s and the nuclear phase-out promulgated in 2002. As a consequence, there has been a steady decline in the proportion of electricity generated by means of nuclear power from 29.2 % in 1993 to 15.4 % in 2013, and coal, from 55.7 % in 1993 to 45.2 % in 2013, while the share of RES in the electricity mix has increased from 4.0 % in 1993 to 23.9 % in 2013 [11].\n\nFig. 4.1\n\nElectricity generation in Germany from 1993 to 2013 in TWh, data from [11]\n\nThe rise in the share of RES generation went along with a considerable shift of the importance of different RES generation sources. While hydro power was by far the most important RES generation source in 1993, it plays no more than a minor part in 2013. Wind, biomass, and solar power, virtually non-existent in 1993, are the most important RES generation sources in 2013 (see Fig. 4.2). Electricity generation from PV has seen large growth in recent years (from 4.4 TWh in 2008 to 30 TWh in 2013).\n\nFig. 4.2\n\nComposition of the RES generation mix from 1993 to 2013, data from [11]\n\nA large part of Germany's RES installations are distributed generation sources such as small rooftop PV installations, single wind turbines, or biomass plants. A look at PV installations, for example, reveals that more than 60 % of all installations feed in electricity in a decentralized manner at the level of low voltage grids [12]. The focus on distributed energy sources is reflected in a diverse ownership structure. More than 40 % of all RES installations in Germany are owned by private investors, with project developers and financial institutions following with 14 % and 13 % respectively [13]. Note that only roughly 12 % of RES installations are owned by power generation companies [13].\n\n### 4.2.2 Power consumption\n\nGermany's electric power consumption amounted to about 528 TWh in 2013 [14]. The difference between gross electricity generation and consumption results from power plants' own consumption, from electricity exports to other countries, and from line losses. Industry is the main consumer of electricity and is responsible for approximately 46 % of national electricity consumption (see Table 4.1). The residential sector follows with 26 % while the commercial and public sectors consume about 14 % and 10 % respectively. The transport and agricultural sectors play no more than minor roles with shares of roughly 2 % [14].\n\nTable 4.1\n\nElectricity consumption in Germany in 2013, data from [14]\n\nConsumer | Electricity Consumption in TWh in 2013 | in % of Total\n\n---|---|---\n\nMining and Industry | 241 | 45.6\n\nResidential Sector | 139 | 26.3\n\nWholesale, Retail, Trade | 76 | 14.4\n\nPublic Sector | 51 | 9.7\n\nTransport | 12 | 2.3\n\nAgriculture | 9 | 1.7\n\nIn comparison to China, the shares of residential and commercial loads are significantly higher in Germany. This results in a load curve with more pronounced peaks and valleys. The ancillary services necessary to cope with this pronounced load curve are mainly offered by gas-fired power plants in Germany. Neither total electricity consumption nor the relative importance of different types of consumers has changed significantly in recent years.\n\nThe increasing share of electricity generated from intermittent sources like wind and PV led to the question of how power consumption can adapt to fluctuating generation. The potential for load shifting, which is relatively easily accessible at reasonable costs, lies in Germany's industrial sector with its large electricity consumers. Table 4.2 presents the maximum power which can be disconnected (neg.) or connected (pos.) for a short period of time in the residential, commercial, or industrial sectors according to different studies. The numbers have to been seen in relation to the German overall peak load of 80 GW.\n\nTable 4.2\n\nDemand side management potential according to German studies and sector\n\nStudy | Residential | Commercial | Industrial\n\n---|---|---|---\n\nStadler [15] | \u221268 GW (pos.)\/28 GW (neg.)\n\nKlobasa [16] | 20 GW | \u2013 | 2.8 GW\n\nDena II [17] | 7\u201332 GW | 2.4 GW (pos.)\n\n14.3 GW (neg.) | 3.9 GW (pos.)\n\n6.5 GW (neg.)\n\nTU Dortmund University [18] | 5.0 GW (pos.)\n\n6.3 GW (neg.) | 3.0 GW (pos.)\n\n18.1 GW (neg.) | 0.9 GW (pos.)\n\n11.2 GW (neg.)\n\n### 4.2.3 Power logistics\n\nDisparity between generation and consumption\n\nPower generation and consumption are not equally distributed in Germany. The load centers are situated in western and southern Germany, both regions with strong industrial bases. Since the amount of electricity generated in nuclear and coal-fired power plants in these regions is generally not sufficient, they often have to import electricity from other parts of Germany or from neighboring countries. In contrast, Germany's north and east, with their significant wind capacities, quite regularly generate more electricity than they consume. Thus, both regions frequently transfer electricity to southern and western Germany.\n\nGrid infrastructure\n\nGermany's electric power grids can be classified into four different categories:\n\n  * Extra high voltage grids (220-kV to 380-kV) form the German transmission grids. In addition to the transmission of electricity, they are responsible for the electricity feed-in of large generators such as nuclear and coal-fired power plants, or offshore wind farms. The transmission grid is mainly characterized by suspended above-surface cables with visible electricity pylons. There are currently approximately 35,000 km of transmission grids with 1,100 electricity transformers in Germany [19], [20].\n\n  * High voltage grids (35-kV to 110-kV) are the highest voltage level of distribution grids. They act as a redistribution system at the regional level. Furthermore, high voltage grids provide electricity to large industrial consumers and are also employed to feed in electricity from smaller power plants, wind farms, and large PV parks. There are approximately 95,000 km of high voltage grids and 7,500 electricity transformers at this level [19] [20].\n\n  * Medium voltage grids (10-kV to 30-kV) represent the subordinate level of distribution grids. They distribute electricity to the connected low voltage levels, provide electricity to connected bulk consumers, and feed in electricity from small PV parks or single wind turbines. The medium voltage level is characterized by underground cables; it is roughly 507,000 km in length and contains 560,000 local substations [19] [20].\n\n  * Low voltage grids (230-V to 400-V) are typically also characterized by underground cables and distribute electricity from local substations to households and collect electricity from rooftop PV modules. It has an approximate length of 1,150,000 km [19].\n\nAn increasing amount of network congestion at times of peak generation is caused by small distributed rooftop PV installations on the low voltage level and rising feed-in from large wind farms at the high voltage level [21]. Due to the rapid build-up of RES generation capacities, grid capacities are not always sufficient to absorb RES-E. As a result, grid curtailment rates of solar and wind power have increased significantly within the last few years. In Schleswig-Holstein, a windy region in the north of Germany, 3.5 % of the total wind generation had to be curtailed in 2012 [22].\n\nThe curtailment of RES-E at times of peak generation can reduce the need for network investments. A recent study suggests that curtailing 30 % of PV peak production and 20 % of wind peak production could reduce infrastructure investments by 10 % between now and 2030 while a total of only 2 % of the annual electricity production from RES would be curtailed [23].\n\nThrough the transmission grid, Germany's electric power system is well interconnected with those of neighboring countries (please refer to Fig. A.1 in the appendix for a snapshot of Germany's transmission grids). All German TSO are members of the European Network of Transmission System Operators for Electricity (ENTSO-E), which was established in 2011 in order to\n\n> promote the completion and functioning of the internal market in electricity and cross-border trade and to ensure the optimal management, coordinated operation and sound technical evolution of the European electricity transmission network [24].\n\nSupply security in Germany\n\nIn comparison with other European countries, Germany's electric power system is characterized by a very high level of security of supply with, on average, only about 15 minutes of annual interruptions on the household level [25] [26].\n\nThe increasing feed-in of RES generation imposes challenges for the stability and reliability of Germany's distribution grids. Three technical challenges for network stability caused by RES integration into distribution grids in Germany are presented in Table 4.3, together with the measures most frequently used to overcome them.\n\nTable 4.3\n\nFrequently used measures to maintain supply security in the presence of RES, data from [27] | Supply Security Issue\n\n---|---\n\nMeasure | Grid Overload | Critical Voltage Variation | Power Quality\n\nDirect connection of RES to a substation\n\n|  |\n\nX | X\n\nUpgrade of grid circuit conductors | X | X | X\n\nUpgrade of upstream transformer capacity | X | X | X\n\nReduction of the grid circuit length\n\n|  |\n\nX | X\n\nSet point adjustment of transformer automatic voltage control\n\n|  |\n\nX\n\n|\n\nUsing reactive power capabilities of RES\n\n|  |\n\nX\n\n|\n\nConstruction of a new substation | X\n\n|  |\n\nInvestment needs in the grid infrastructure\n\nSecuring a high level of supply security in spite of the increasing share of electricity generated by variable RES requires significant investments in transmission and distribution grids. On the transmission grid level, it is estimated that roughly 3,600 km of 380-KV AC overhead lines will have to be installed between now and 2023 [23]. This represents a total investment of EUR 21 billion [28]. On the distribution grid level, the pressure is even higher: between 135,000 and 193,000 km will have to be added to the existing network by 2030. In addition, between 21,000 and 25,000 km of the existing distribution grid will have to be modernized in the same period of time. According to a recent study, these numbers add up to a total investment need of roughly EUR 42.5 billion on the distribution grid level [18].\n\n## 4.3 Smart grid development in Germany\n\n### 4.3.1 Motivation for smart grids in Germany\n\nThe rising importance of intermittent RES generation is the main smart grid driver in Germany. Today, the general opinion of most energy market experts in Germany is that building a smart grid, especially a smart distribution grid, is a cost-efficient way of ensuring security of supply in the presence of large-scale integration of intermittent RES [29], [30].\n\nThe challenge of fluctuating RES in extra high voltage grids\n\nGermany's transmission grids (380-kV\/220-kV grid) have already achieved a high degree of smartness and are equipped with sophisticated real-time monitoring and control technologies. The increasing amount of wind power from large wind farms creates a need for more grid control. Sophisticated generation forecasts, for example, are needed to adequately react to the pools of fluctuating generators and maintain the 50 Hz grid frequency within its narrow tolerance range of \u00b1 0.2 Hz.\n\nThe challenge of fluctuating RES in high voltage grids\n\nThe 110-kV high voltage grid also requires high availability and near-real-time monitoring and control. The main challenge within high voltage grids is to maintain voltage levels and loads within a technically viable band. In the event of overloads, for example arising from a high volume of RES-E, electricity has to be transferred to the higher voltage level. Bidirectional flows of electrical power are an additional challenge at the level of 110-kV high voltage grids. If overloads cannot be transferred to the higher voltage level, generation has to be curtailed or additional loads have to be activiated.\n\nThe challenge of fluctuating RES in medium voltage grids\n\nSupply quality, specifically with regard to voltage maintenance, constitutes a major technical challenge in medium voltage grids due to the fluctuating and distributed generation from RES. The degree of utilization of ICT in medium voltage grids is limited. Continuous load measurement, for example, is used only for customers with consumption levels exceeding 100 MWh\/a. As prescribed by the Electricity Network Access Ordinance (StromNZV), these customers' average power consumption must be measured in periods of 15 minutes and this information delivered to the distribution grid operator which then uses the measurement data to compute a specific load profile. The measurement equipment is operated by the DSO or by the metering system operator. Like at the 110-kV level, wind and PV plants may result in inverted flows of electricity to the higher voltage level in order to avoid an overload of grid assets, especially in rural areas with a more limited infrastructure.\n\nThe challenge of fluctuating RES in low voltage grids\n\nToday, ICT-based grid operation is very rarely installed at the level of low voltage grids, where rooftop PV represents a major challenge in terms of voltage maintenance and can cause a more rapid aging of grid assets. Grid operators currently handle these challenges by expanding the grid infrastructure with new cables or local substations. In the future, electric mobility may further increase the necessity for active control of low voltage grids. It should be noted that the control of assets in low voltage grids is especially difficult due to the large number and high heterogeneity of the connected assets (e. g. households, rooftop PV modules, local substations, electric vehicles). Thus, standardization of control interfaces is viewed as one of the key issues for assets being installed in low voltage grids [31].\n\n### 4.3.2 Germany's technological view of the smart grid\n\nThe development of smart grids in Germany\n\nIn Germany, smart grid technologies have been described, combined, tested, and implemented in a bottom-up process by research institutions, companies from the electric power sector, component suppliers, and ICT companies.\n\nThe primary driver for smart grid development was the integration of RES into the operational environments of grid operators. Their integration mainly relies on large monolithic supervisory control and data acquisition (SCADA) systems. Small amounts of renewables were controlled in parallel to the overall grid operations, often in so-called distributed energy management systems (DEMS). In terms of communications, the systems used existing communication infrastructure and heterogeneous proprietary data models and protocols. The need to integrate RES in daily grid operations led to a change in the paradigms on how to design and control RES. Aspects relating to the connection between different assets were the first to be focused upon \u2013 general packet radio service (GPRS), GSM, universal mobile telecommunications system (UMTS), and currently long term evolution (LTE) or IP-based open networks such as the internet have been used. After this initial focus on connectivity, more emphasis was put on the semantics and syntactical aspects of communication.\n\nThe government's view on smart grids\n\nAs in China, different stakeholders in Germany have developed different views on smart grids. The primary goal of the German government, especially via the Federal Ministry for Economic Affairs and Energy (BMWi) and BNetzA, is to guide the debate and support convergence of the various stakeholders' smart grid visions. BNetzA, in late 2011, published a position paper called Smart Grid and Smart Market [32] (see [33] for an English summary of this document).\n\nThe main objective of this document was to introduce a clear-cut criterion on how smart grids and so-called smart markets can be differentiated and to discuss the regulatory consequences. BNetzA points out that electricity volumes and related services have traditionally been traded on electricity markets independently from the available grid capacity.3 In a power system based on smart grids, however, information on current grid status can be taken into account in market transactions. Markets allowing the trade of electricity volumes and related services based on available grid capacities are referred to as smart markets. Depending on the available grid capacity, smart markets can either operate without restriction \u2013 in case of sufficient grid capacity, or \u2013 in case of grid congestion \u2013 the grid operator has the right to intervene in the market to ensure grid stability and e. g. shut down power plants or cut off consumers [33]. One example for smart markets are regional energy market places.4 Within a specific region, industrial, commercial, and domestic customers are given the option of trading electricity volumes and\/or ancillary services in a market place. By trading ancillary services, power consumption schedules, and power generation (feed-in) schedules, market participants are exposed to price signals serving as an economic incentive to balance electricity supply and demand and thus stabilize the grid.\n\nThe position paper Smart Grid and Smart Market discusses relevant topics along six key concepts:\n\n  * The first key concept, named Grid capacity and energy volumes as distinguishing criteria for grid and market, explains how grids and markets can be separated by identifying the main topics involved. All aspects relating to grid capacity (as measured in kW, MW, GW, etc.) refer to the grid whereas all topics relating to energy volumes (as measured in kWh, MWh, GWh, etc.) refer to the market.\n\n  * The second key concept, Clarification of the discussion about the energy future through the terms of smart grid and smart market, follows-up on the first key concept. It clarifies that the term smart grid can be related to network issues while the term smart market can be related to energy volume issues.\n\n  * The third key concept has the somewhat cumbersome title The energy future requires more responsibility on the market and more negotiated solutions. The grid should play a predominantly service role and should be separated from competitive activities as far as possible. It discusses the importance of new market actors in smart markets and underlines that competitive functions, especially those in smart markets, should not be attributed to grid operators. Grid operators are considered responsible only for the (smart) grid itself. Smart grids are seen as a platform for smart markets. Grid operators are consequently viewed as playing a supporting role for smart markets.\n\n  * The fourth key concept, entitled Smart meters are part of, but not an absolute prerequisite for, the energy future, states that grids can be made smart without a widespread rollout of smart meters. The main argument is that it is sufficient to measure data on grid conditions in local substations or to install only some smart meters at potentially critical junctures in the grid.\n\n  * The fifth key concept, named The smart grid is a part of an evolutionary, not a revolutionary, process, emphasizes that smart grids are not built from scratch but evolve in a gradual process. In the light of the heterogeneity of the various grid operators in Germany, BNetzA consequently stresses that a kind of uniform smart grid concept applicable to every grid operator does not exist and should not be promoted by means of regulation.\n\n  * The sixth key concept is named If targets for the use of renewable energy are to be met it is essential that these producers, too, respond to market signals and grid exigencies. It underlines the importance of integrating RES more effectively in wholesale markets, potentially by redesigning the feed-in priority for RES.\n\nSmart grids according to a recent study by the German Academy of Science and Engineering\n\nIn 2012, under the guidance of the German Academy of Science and Engineering (acatech), representatives of the electric power sector, equipment manufacturers sector, ICT sector, and from academia and research institutions developed a smart grid model for Germany: the Future Energy Grid (FEG) model [30]. The model complements the BNetzA view on smart grids by developing a conceptual and technological foundation for the separation of smart grids and smart markets. In particular, FEG can serve as a best practice example of how to develop and formulate a comprehensive smart grid vision. FEG is a systematic and comprehensive top-down approach that can be used to evaluate the current smartness of grids and to define a smart grid vision. It systematically addresses specific problems and challenges in Germany's electric power system and introduces a model of system layers (see Fig. 4.3) and technology areas (see Fig. 4.4). The system layers represent different functions and requirements regarding the application of ICT in the power system. They were chosen in reference to a model adapted by the European Electricity Grid Initiative (see [34]).\n\nFig. 4.3\n\nAbstract smart grid system model regarding the application of ICT within three distinct layers, translated from [30]\n\nFig. 4.4\n\nTechnology areas regarding ICT aspects of smart grid implementation in Germany, translated from [30]\n\nIn total, FEG comprises the following three system layers (see Fig. 4.3):\n\n  * The innermost layer, referred to as the closed system layer, contains the critical infrastructure and power system equipment that serves as the backbone of the system and requires a high level of security and safety. Therefore, external access to the resources within this layer is restricted and may be limited to the grid operator or to an equivalent actor. Central (bulk) power generation, transmission and distribution grids, and the corresponding ICT-based control systems are components of this layer.\n\n  * The outermost layer is referred to as the networked system layer. It contains heterogeneous power system components (distributed power generators, power storage units, consumers, marketplaces, meters, control applications, etc.) which are characterized by a high level of communication and information exchange. In contrast to the closed system layer, much of the value within this layer is created by interactions between the different participants on smart markets. As the exchange of sensitive power system information, e. g. real-time data on power generation and consumption, is of particular importance in this context, strict ICT and data security protocols have to be applied to ensure individual privacy rights are respected and overall power system security is guaranteed.\n\n  * The ICT infrastructure layer enables communication within and between the two other layers. It contains the communication networks and associated components that provide ICT interface functionalities. In order to ensure that different components of each layer can communicate with each other, interoperability is a key factor. Interoperability is achieved with the help of standardization of system interfaces and communication protocols.\n\nIn the study Future Energy Grid, a smart grid vision based on the three system layers described above and nineteen technology areas is outlined (see Fig. 4.4, for a detailed description refer to appendix D).\n\n## 4.4 The regulation of Germany's electric power system\n\n### 4.4.1 Policy setting and fundamental institutions\n\nPolicy setting\n\nThe Federal Government's Energy concept for an environmentally friendly, reliable and affordable energy supply of September 2010 and The road to the energy of the future \u2013 safe, affordable and environmentally friendly (Key Elements of an energy policy concept) of June 2011 [35] contain guidelines and objectives relating to Germany's future energy system. In particular, the trend towards more environmental protection is explicitly expressed by government plans to reduce CO2 emissions to 60 % of the 1990-level by 2020. It is planned to further reduce emissions to 20 % of the level of 1990 until 2050 [35].\n\nThese cuts in CO2 emissions are to be achieved by reduced energy use for transport and heating (see Fig. 4.5): e. g. energy consumption for room heating purposes should be reduced by 20 % between 2008 and 2020 and 80 % by 2050. For the power sector, the government's objective is to generate 35 % of electricity with RES in 2020 and to increase the share to 80 % by 2050 [35] as shown in Fig. 4.5. At the same time, in the aftermath of the nuclear disaster in Fukushima, the German government decided to completely phase out nuclear power generation by 2022 [35].\n\nFig. 4.5\n\nLong-term targets for Germany's energy sector (\u00a9 Heinrich-B\u00f6ll-Stiftung e. V. [36])\n\nMany specific objectives with regard to the development of Germany's power system are subordinated to the general goal of achieving more sustainability and the specific goal of increasing the importance of RES: for instance, the German government wants to expand transmission grids in the north-south direction, thus allowing a more effective transport of wind power from the north to the load centers in the south of the country. Other government goals such as improving energy efficiency and promoting energy storage technologies and electric vehicles are also related to the broad government plan of increasing the sustainability of Germany's power system.\n\nGeneral governance structure\n\nThe governance structure of Germany's energy system comprises several ministries and independent institutions. The ministries are responsible for enacting laws and ordinances that then have to be applied by independent institutions. This means that the ministry concerned can neither interfere in day-to-day business nor expand or restrict the competences of the institutions. Nonetheless, these institutions and the ministries cooperate closely.\n\nMinistries responsible for Germany's energy policy\n\nThere are currently two ministries at the core of the governance structure of the German electricity system:\n\n  * The Federal Ministry for Economic Affairs and Energy (BMWi) has the main responsibility for formulating and implementing energy policy, including renewable energy, and is responsible for issues related to security of supply and competition policy.\n\n  * The Federal Ministry for the Environment, Nature Conservation, Building and Nuclear Safety (BMUB) is responsible for those energy policy issues which are directly related to environmental protection, e. g. CO2 reduction, and energy efficiency in the building sector.\n\nThe market design of the electricity sector is a responsibility shared by BMWi and BMUB. Other relevant ministries in the context of energy and electricity sector policy and smart grids are:\n\n  * The Federal Ministry of Transport and Digital Infrastructure (BMVI) takes responsibility for transportation and mobility issues as well as for the expansion of digital communication infrastructure, which is especially important as a backbone for smart grids.\n\n  * The Federal Ministry of Labor, Social Affairs and Consumer Protection (BMAS) focuses on social issues related to energy.\n\nInstitutions responsible for Germany's energy policy\n\nThe following three government authorities are of particular relevance with regard to the regulation of Germany's electric power system:\n\n  * The Federal Network Agency for Electricity, Gas, Telecommunications, Post and Railway (BNetzA) is responsible for regulation of the networks which are natural monopolies, including the electricity grid (see Fig. 4.6). The existence and competences of BNetzA are laid down in laws such as EnWG and the Grid Expansion Acceleration Act for Transmission Networks (NABEG).5 While BNetzA is in charge of national and interstate regulation it cooperates closely with regulatory counterparts on the level of the federal states. State regulators are responsible for DSO with less than 100,000 customers and BNetzA for all TSO and for DSO with more than 100,000 customers or with operations in more than one state.\n\nFig. 4.6\n\nResponsibilities of BNetzA and of the Federal Cartel Office\n\n  * The Federal Cartel Office is responsible for general competition matters (see Fig. 4.6). If competition problems are related to natural monopoly networks, the Federal Cartel Office can authorize BNetzA to handle the issue. The existence and competences of the Federal Cartel Office are laid down in the Act Against Restraints of Competition (GWB).\n\n  * The Monopoly Commission advises on competition and monopoly issues. Its advice is non-binding and it does not have decision-making powers. Nonetheless, the Monopoly Commission plays a vital role in checking and evaluating the regulator's work. The tasks of the Monopoly Commission are also laid down in GWB.\n\nA brief history of BNetzA\n\nThe liberalization of European electricity markets began with the EU's First Electricity Directive of 1996. A so-called negotiated Third Party Access (nTPA) was allowed as an option alongside regulated Third Party Access (rTPA). nTPA meant that access to the electricity networks, including network charges, had to be negotiated between network owners (grid operators) and network users (power companies). The directive did not explicitly prescribe a regulator and ultimately this approach failed to secure non-discriminatory network access and to deliver fair and reasonable network charges (cf. e. g. [37], [38] for an analysis and further literature).\n\nThe EU's Second Electricity Directive of 2003 contained significant changes: rTPA became the only option making non-discriminatory network access conditions a requirement by law. The Directive also demanded the establishment of an electricity sector regulator and the creation of a regulatory framework for fair and reasonable network charges. In Germany, EnWG was amended to satisfy these demands, resulting in the establishment of BNetzA as a federal regulator for monopolistic networks and the development of incentive regulation (see Sect. 4.4.4 for more information on incentive regulation). The regulatory competences of BNetzA were based on the competences of its predecessor, which was the Regulatory Agency for Telecommunications and Post Services. Competences relating to electricity and gas were added, and the agency was renamed to BNetzA. Later on, the task of regulating the railway infrastructure was added as well.\n\nThe EU's Third Electricity Directive of 2009 did not change the arrangements on rTPA or regulation. Instead, it strengthened the arrangements relating to unbundling rules. For the TSO, this led to the ITO approach while for DSO the unbundling rules stayed as they were in the Second Electricity Directive (see Sect. 4.1). BNetzA is also responsible for implementing the unbundling rules and monitoring compliance with them. Lastly, the Third Electricity Directive led to the creation of an Agency for the Cooperation of Energy Regulators (ACER). In a nutshell, ACER is responsible for cross-border issues and provides a platform for cooperation between various European regulators.\n\nMain tasks and competences of BNetzA\n\nThe mission of BNetzA is to regulate the monopolistic part of the supply chain \u2013 the grid or network infrastructure by:\n\n  * guaranteeing an affordable, consumer-friendly, efficient and environmentally friendly supply of electricity and gas,\n\n  * ensuring an effective and undistorted competition in the supply of electricity and gas as well as securing a reliable operation of electricity and gas grids,\n\n  * transposing and implement EU law in the field of grid-bound energy supply and\n\n  * facilitating efficient approval processes to adapt the German high-voltage transmission grid to the needs of a rising share of renewable energy [39].\n\nIn this context, the two main tasks of the BNetzA are:\n\n  * to secure non-discriminatory access to the network and\n\n  * to regulate network charges.\n\nThis is reflected by the organizational structure of BNetzA (see Fig. 4.7). BNetzA consists of several departments. Two of them (Department 6 and Department N) focus on energy and network regulation. The decision process within BNetzA takes place within so-called ruling chambers. BNetzA has nine ruling chambers with decision-making powers, with five of these relating to electricity and gas:\n\nFig. 4.7\n\nBNetzA organization chart, adapted from [40]\n\n  * network development and approval of individual network charges (ruling chamber 4 in Fig. 4.7),\n\n  * access to electricity networks (ruling chamber 6 in Fig. 4.7),\n\n  * access to gas networks (ruling chamber 7 in Fig. 4.7),\n\n  * regulation of electricity networks (ruling chamber 8 in Fig. 4.7), and\n\n  * regulation of gas networks (ruling chamber 9 in Fig. 4.7).\n\nNote the focus on and restriction to networks as the core monopoly part of the supply chain. BNetzA is not responsible for the markets, where these are not related to the networks. Strictly speaking, BNetzA is not responsible for general competitive conditions, for example merger policy, which is one of the tasks of the Federal Cartel Office. In practice, however, the Federal Cartel Office and BNetzA cooperate closely. Moreover, BNetzA monitors market development in a so-called Monitoring Report, which is published on an annual basis.\n\nAdditional tasks of BNetzA\n\nIn addition to securing non-discriminatory access to the network and regulating network charges, further BNetzA tasks are:\n\n  * ensuring consumer protection in retail issues (e. g. rules for switching the power retail company),\n\n  * implementing and monitoring unbundling rules,\n\n  * evaluating the network development plan (NDP),\n\n  * approving network expansion plans and helping to accelerate licensing procedures for network expansion, as arranged by NABEG,\n\n  * exchanging information with other European regulators, formally or informally, and cross-border issues (e. g. the interconnectors),\n\n  * providing support for technical standards, and\n\n  * providing data on power plants and electricity networks to the public.\n\nCompetences of BNetzA\n\nIt is of critical importance for the regulator to be powerful enough to impose sanctions on the grid operators. In Germany, this is regulated in \u00a7 29 to \u00a7 33 EnWG, which define the competences of BNetzA and the possible range of penalties it can impose:\n\n  * \u00a7 29 EnWG lists all discriminating behaviors of grid operators which can be penalized by BNetzA.\n\n  * According to \u00a7 30 EnWG, BNetzA can force grid operators to stop any discriminating behavior against other market participants.\n\n  * According to \u00a7 31 EnWG, information on discriminatory behavior of a grid operator can be provided to BNetzA by any legal or natural person.\n\n  * \u00a7 32 and \u00a7 33 EnWG specify how fines and compensation payments are to be settled in case of misconduct by a grid operator.\n\n### 4.4.2 Market structure\n\nVertical and horizontal market structure\n\nAs described in Sect. 4.1, the stages in the supply chain of Germany's electric power sector are in a state of far-reaching unbundling: transmission grids, for example, are owned and operated by fully unbundled companies that are independent from other parts of the supply chain. Distribution grid operators are legally unbundled from generation and retail companies so as to ensure that, within the same utility, no commercially sensitive information is exchanged between the power grid and other parts of the supply chain.\n\nCompetition in power generation has been increasing significantly in Germany since the EU's First Electricity Directive. Before 1996, generation was monopolized by four major companies (RWE, E.ON, Vattenfall Europe, and EnBW). Meanwhile, these four companies together represent a market share of no more than roughly 44 % of total installed electricity generation capacities [41]. The decreasing market share of the former monopolists is also a result of the nuclear phase-out and the increasing share of distributed generation from RES. The growing importance of RES in particular has served as a key driver for competition in the generation sector. While investments into conventional power plants are a capital-intensive business, investments into RES have become profitable for small investors due to the guaranteed feed-in tariffs for renewables. As a result, there are currently some 300 smaller generation companies with capacities starting at 1 MW up to hundreds of MW.\n\nThe situation is similar in the retail sector. The market share of the four former monopolists has been continuously decreasing from 50 % in 2008 to 45 % in 2011 [19]. Most German retail companies have a regional focus with a high market share within their established service areas. Consumer switching rates to other retailers are still quite low due to the end consumers' tendency to remain with the incumbent regional suppliers. In 2012, for example, only about 7.8 % of all households in Germany changed their electricity supplier [19].\n\nThe ownership structure on the transmission and distribution level is as follows: on the transmission level, four TSO own the infrastructure while roughly 900 DSO own parts of the distribution grid. Since electricity networks are a natural monopoly with network charges regulated by BNetzA, there is no competition for markets and customers between the different grid operators.\n\nThe emergence of new market actors\n\nThe unbundling process, the legally enforced trend towards more competition, as well as the migration towards smart grids and RES have contributed to the emergence of new market actors in Germany. Their growing importance can be considered as the most profound change in Germany's electricity market structure during the last few years. A considerable number of new players have entered the supply chain of the electric power system: Figure 4.8 shows that the number of companies active in the German energy sector (including electricity, gas, heat, etc.) increased from 15,666 in 2006 to 48,292 in 2011 [42]. This represents an increase of more than 200 % within five years. Especially companies with less than nine employees, often innovative start-ups and energy service providers, have contributed to this increase. Their number increased from 14,545 in 2006 to 46,967 in 2013 [43].\n\nFig. 4.8\n\nNumber of companies active in the German energy sector, data from [43]\n\nFigure 4.9 presents an exemplary overview of established and new market actors in smart grids, as they are present or emerging in Germany, classified into the different smart grid supply chain areas Power Generation, Power Logistics, Power Trade and Retail, Power Consumption, and Information and Communication. In the following, some examples of new market actors depicted in Fig. 4.9 are described together with a brief explanation on their role in the smart grid development process:\n\nFig. 4.9\n\nExamples of established and new market actors in smart grids in Germany\n\n####  Power Generation:\n\n  * RES operators:\n\nTraditionally, power plants in Germany were exclusively owned and operated by large utilities. Due to the financial support codified in EEG (see Sect. 4.4.3), a number of more than 1,500,000 RES plants, especially onshore wind, PV and biomass plants, has been installed so far. The largest part of these plants is operated by households as well as small and medium-sized companies: in 2013 for example, 6 % of all German households had their own RES generation units, especially small rooftop PV installations [44]. Companies in the manufacturing industry have also long since started to build their own RES generation units. By 2005, roughly 5 % of all German manufacturing companies owned RES. This number has more than tripled since, reaching roughly 18 % in 2012 [45].\n\n  * New energy cooperatives:\n\nIn the tradition of cooperatives founded in Germany in the beginning of the 20th century to develop the first power supply systems, new energy cooperatives have emerged in recent years. These associations allow individual citizens or civil society to pool their financial resources and jointly invest in power system components otherwise exceeding the financial resources of their individual members. In Germany, 650 energy cooperatives with roughly 130,000 members invested more than one billion euros in power plants based on RES until 2012 [46].\n\n####  Power Logistics:\n\n  * Grid operations service providers:\n\nThis type of company specializes in offering services to operate smart grids for small-sized or municipally owned German DSO. The business model of grid operation service providers works out, since the small DSO often do not have the highly specialized personnel required for smart grid operation (i. e. with deep knowledge of ICT capabilities and with the required level of grid automation knowledge). A single grid operation service provider may operate the smart grids of several small DSO.\n\n####  Power Trade & Retail:\n\n  * VPP operators:\n\nA virtual power plant is a network of decentralized, small to medium-scale power generating units such as biomass plants, combined heat and power (CHP) units, wind farms and solar parks. The interconnected units are partly operated through central control of the virtual power plant but nevertheless remain independent in their operation and ownership. Virtual power plants (VPP) deliver electricity products, such as balancing power, that can be traded on electricity market places. Product requirements, e. g. the minimum volume of the delivered power, are restrictive and usually cannot be met by single small scale power plants, like e. g. a single wind farm. VPP therefore bundle (aggregate) several small scale power plants and often even add other generation capacities and\/or flexible loads, to fulfil the product requirements of the energy market places. Thus, the power generation of the units in the virtual power plant is bundled \u2013 or aggregated \u2013 and sold by a single trader on the energy exchange or other energy market places (e. g. market for balancing power). As a result, VPP can gradually take over the role of traditional power plants \u2013 selling their output in the wholesale markets. Today, in Germany, about 20 medium sized companies operate VPP.\n\n  * Specialized marketplace operators:\n\nThese market actors operate market places e. g. for ancillary services or for electricity from well-defined sources. The concept of specialized market places has been piloted in several research projects of the German E-Energy program (see Sect. 4.4.6 for more information on the E-Energy program).\n\n  * Power traders:\n\nA person or entity that buys and sells energy goods and services in an organized electricity market (electricity or power exchange) or over-the-counter (OTC). Power traders offer dedicated electricity wholesale services to other market actors, e. g. industry companies or power retailers companies or larger end-users (like energy-intensive industry). Due to the complex nature of electricity markets, trading requires specialist knowledge and expertise, comparable to financial service providers. In Germany, power trading services are offered by some 50 companies [19].\n\n  * Independent retailers:\n\nLiberalization of the energy market in Europe led to the establishment of mostly medium-sized power retail companies that are independent from the established utilities. These companies offer their customers heterogeneous energy-based retail products, e. g. regional tariffs, time-of-use pricing or electricity with a low CO2-footprint. These products are widely accepted both by the population and by enterprises.\n\n####  Power Consumption:\n\n  * Smart appliance contractors:\n\nHouseholds as well as enterprises operate a growing multitude of power-consuming appliances like heating equipment, cooling devices or home electricity storage (so-called smart appliances). For these clients, smart appliance contractors offer individual services such as financing, installation, operation, maintenance, support and appliance replacement. Other contractors act as full-service providers and offer volume-based heating, cooling or load management services.\n\n  * Prosumers:\n\nThe term prosumer is merged from the terms producer and consumer. Besides consuming power, these new market actors deliver surplus power to the grid, e. g. through small-scale rooftop PV or combined heat and power (CHP) plants.\n\n  * Energy management service providers:\n\nEnergy management service providers deliver energy monitoring and controlling services to industry and large commercial companies. With their service portfolio they contribute to continuous improvement of energy procurement and use in smart grids.\n\n  * Energy efficiency consultants:\n\nThese typically small-sized companies analyze the energy consumption of private households, enterprises, industry and municipalities in order to identify potentials for energy savings and energy efficiency improvements and consult the clients in efficient power usage. In a typical business model the advisory is paid for with a share of the savings generated from energy efficiency improvements. In Germany, a number of nearly 12,500 companies carried out more than 400,000 consulting projects in 2011 [47].\n\n  * E-Vehicle infrastructure operators:\n\nElectric vehicles need charging stations. These are built and\/or operated by a growing number of infrastructure operators.\n\n  * E-Vehicle service providers:\n\nThese new market actors are typically big-sized or mid-sized companies. E-Vehicle service providers operate pools of electric vehicles and rent them to companies and private consumers.\n\n####  Information & Communication:\n\n  * Metering system operators:\n\nThese companies install and operate electricity metering equipment. Metering system operators are an example for a new market role that has been created by the German government. Their role is described by EnWG (\u00a7 21) and the Metering Access Ordinance (MessZV).\n\n  * Metering service providers:\n\nMetering service providers offer the service of reading out meter systems and delivering the gathered data to power retailers as a basis for billing. Their role is also described by EnWG (\u00a7 21) and the Metering Access Ordinance.\n\n  * Energy information service providers:\n\nAll market actors in smart grids require energy-related information to carry out their tasks and businesses, e. g. current or historical grid status data, metering data or weather data. Energy information service providers collect raw data from multiple sources, analyze and refine the data and then offer specialized information services to their customers. One example of an energy information service is wind and PV power generation forecasts, which are typically derived from a multitude of different weather data sources.\n\n  * Energy system integrators:\n\nEnergy system integrators are established or new companies which develop ICT-based system solutions in all segments of the smart grid supply chain for their customers, e. g. solutions for advanced distribution system management and grid maintenance solutions for DSO, smart metering solutions for metering service providers or virtual power plant management solutions for VPP operators. The ICT sector in Europe has increasingly been participating in the development of smart grids and is involved in approximately 60 % of all related research projects [48]. The ICT-related smart grid concepts developed by energy system integrators contribute to the general understanding of smart grids among established and new market actors, public decision-makers, and the general public.\n\n### 4.4.3 Market design and RES integration\n\nGeneral market design\n\nGerman electricity wholesale markets bring together roughly 300 power generation companies, about 50 power trading companies, and approximately 1,110 power retail companies [19]. A high level of liquidity indicates that electricity wholesale markets are functioning well [19]. The German wholesale market is currently separated into two major energy-only markets (see Fig. 4.10):\n\nFig. 4.10\n\nElectricity wholesale markets in Germany\n\n  * The European Energy Exchange (EEX) with two products: spot (short-term) and future (long-term) markets for electricity. In contrast to China, there is only one uniform wholesale price for electricity in Germany irrespective of the power source, production technology, or age of the power plant under consideration. The market price \u2013 for all generators \u2013 at any given time is determined by the marginal costs of the last power plant required to satisfy total electricity demand. This nationally integrated market leads to a situation in which, at any point in time, only those power plants with the lowest marginal costs of production are able to sell their electricity on the market.\n\n  * The over-the-counter (OTC) market gives suppliers and buyers of electricity the opportunity to bilaterally trade electricity and to negotiate contracts and prices irrespective of standardized contracts or prices at the power exchange. Like the EEX, OTC contracts offer the possibility for spot and future trades. Products on both markets can be the same, e. g. short-term contracts with direct physical fulfillment can be either traded via the exchange or negotiated directly with another party on the OTC spot market.\n\nMost of Germany's electricity is traded bilaterally between generation and retail companies. In 2012 for example, 7,000 TWh of electricity were traded in OTC transactions, whereas only approximately 1,200 TWh were traded at the EEX [19].6 The attractiveness of OTC trading results from the fact that OTC products can be designed more flexibly according to the specific needs of the parties involved. Nonetheless, EEX prices are very important because they serve as a reference value for OTC trading.\n\nWhile generation and retail companies use the power exchange to trade electricity especially for short-term contracts (physical fulfillment), most of the trade at the power exchange is focused on the exchange of futures. Here electricity traders focus on financial exchanges. Traders expect to gain benefits through the arbitrage between different future periods. Retail companies have to pay the generators for the electricity produced and the grid operator for the transport of the electricity. The generation company needs to inform TSO in advance about the exact electricity volume that its facility will produce within a certain period of time and to which customer (e. g. power retail companies) the electricity needs to be transported.\n\nPromotion and integration of RES\n\nTo subsidize the development of RES, a fixed feed-in tariff which is significantly above market prices is paid to RES owners. The EEG, which regulates the promotion of RES, was enacted in 2000 on the basis of the former Act on the Feed-In of Electricity from RES into the Public Grid, itself enacted in December 1990. The EEG regulates a feed-in system that comprises four key elements:\n\n  * Fixed feed-in tariff: for each kWh produced and fed into the grid, a fixed price is paid which is higher than the wholesale market price for electricity.\n\n  * Take-up obligation: grid operators must buy the electricity from RES at all times and pay the feed-in tariff independently from current market prices.\n\n  * RES priority: RES has priority over non-RES in case of network congestion.\n\n  * RES curtailment in last resort: in case of network congestion, conventional power supply needs to be curtailed as much as possible before RES can be curtailed as well.\n\nFeed-in tariffs at a glance\n\nThe feed-in tariffs are usually paid for electricity stemming from hydro power, landfill gas, gas from purification plants, mine gas, biomass, biogas, geothermal power, onshore wind, offshore wind, small-sized rooftop PV installations, and large-scale PV parks. With regard to the specific design of the feed-in tariffs, three aspects must be considered:\n\n  * First, feed-in tariffs differ depending on the power source under consideration.\n\n  * Second, feed-in tariffs for installations using the same power source often depend on the installed capacity with higher feed-in tariffs applying to smaller installations.\n\n  * Third, feed-in tariffs are paid for a period of 20 years and the feed-in tariff paid for each installation at the moment of its commissioning is guaranteed over the whole period.7\n\nFeed-in tariffs for new installations have been steadily adjusted downwards since the implementation of the EEG in 2000, reflecting technical progress and the declining costs of RES. However, feed-in tariffs for installations that went into service before the adjustments remain at their originally guaranteed level. To facilitate planning for RES investors, future reductions of the feed-in tariffs are already known today and recorded in specific reduction schemes that are part of governmental supplements to the EEG. Depending on the capacity and some other characteristics of the installations, the following ranges of feed-in tariffs for the power sources with the highest relevance were paid in 2012 [49]:\n\n  * Hydro: 0.034 \u20ac\/kWh\u20130.127 \u20ac\/kWh\n\n  * Onshore wind: 0.0893 \u20ac\/kWh\u20130.0991 \u20ac\/kWh\n\n  * Offshore wind: 0.15 \u20ac\/kWh\u20130.19 \u20ac\/kWh\n\n  * Biomass: 0.06 \u20ac\/kWh\u20130.143 \u20ac\/kWh\n\n  * PV: 0.1794 \u20ac\/kWh\u20130.2443 \u20ac\/kWh\n\nFinancial burden caused by feed-in tariffs\n\nElectricity generated by means of RES (RES-E) is traded on wholesale markets irrespectively of the feed-in tariffs. RES-E enters Germany's wholesale markets in the following way:\n\n  * Generators of RES-E receive the feed-in tariff from their respective distribution grid operator, who in turn gets an equivalent compensation from the transmission grid operator.\n\n  * The transmission grid operator sells RES-E on a wholesale market, frequently receiving a price considerably lower than the governmentally fixed feed-in tariff.\n\n  * To avoid financial burdens for transmission grid operators as a result of this practice, the difference between the fixed feed-in tariffs and the market prices for electricity is refunded in full to the transmission grid operator.\n\n  * The financial capital for this compensation stems from the electricity consumers, who have to pay a surcharge for the promotion of RES on their electricity bill (renewable energy surcharge). The amount of the surcharge depends on the type of consumer (with high discounts for industrial consumers) but does not depend on the consumer's geographic location.\n\nThe financial burden caused by this compensation has increased significantly in the course of the past years. In 2000, approximately one billion euros was necessary to cover the difference costs of RES feed-in tariffs.8 This figure increased to approximately EUR 16 billion in 2012 and is projected to amount to roughly EUR 20 billion in 2014 [50]. Owing to the increasing share of RES in Germany's electricity mix, the renewable energy surcharge rose from 0.0008 \u20ac\/kWh in 2000 to 0.0528 \u20ac\/kWh in 2013 [51]. Germany has made the experience that setting up a system with feed-in tariffs financed by means of a surcharge that does not vary in different regions redirects purchasing power from regions with high loads towards regions with high RES capacities. Berlin, with its more than 3 million inhabitants (roughly 4.1 % of Germany's total population), received only 0.1 % of all RES connected payments, whereas Schleswig-Holstein, a federal state in Northern Germany with less than 3 million inhabitants (about 3.5 % of the population), received 7.0 % of all RES connected payments [51]. However, Berlin's population did not pay less than the population in Schleswig-Holstein to finance the RES funds. This means that purchasing power was implicitly redirected from Berlin to Schleswig-Holstein owing to the RES financing mechanism.\n\nThe effects of RES on wholesale electricity prices\n\nThe price on the wholesale electricity market is determined by the marginal costs of the last power plant required to satisfy total electricity demand setting the price which is applied to all generators at that point in time. The power plants are ranked according to their marginal costs of electricity generation (merit order), with the plants with the lowest marginal costs necessary to meet demand dispatched first and the ones with the highest marginal costs brought online last.\n\nTSO are mandated by law to prioritize the feed-in of RES before other conventional generation technologies. Once installed and connected to the grid, wind and PV installations can produce electricity with almost zero marginal costs, while costs of electricity generation from fossil fuel-fired power plants depends on the price of the combustibles used (fuel costs). Thus, electricity generated from RES enters the wholesale markets at the beginning of the merit order (at zero marginal costs) and is dispatched first. As a consequence, average wholesale prices decrease as the generation technologies with higher marginal costs are displaced by an increasing volume of RES-E. Thus, large-scale integration of RES-E suppresses wholesale electricity prices. This is known as the so-called merit order effect (see Fig. 4.11). With large amounts of RES-E traded on the wholesale markets (on windy and sunny days), wholesale prices are rather low. When high feed-in of RES-E corresponds to low demand on the consumption side (typically on Sundays), prices for electricity can even reach negative values. On these days, Germany sometimes exports electricity to foreign countries and has to remunerate these countries for absorbing the German electricity. There were negative spot market prices for almost 80 hours in 2013. Such negative prices occurred in ten of twelve months [52]. In conclusion, it can be said that the increasing share of RES leads to decreasing but much more volatile prices on the wholesale markets.\n\nFig. 4.11\n\nEffects of RES supply on the wholesale electricity prices\n\nAs wholesale market prices decrease, gas-fired power plants, which have high marginal costs, are dispatched less and less frequently making an economically viable operation difficult and deterring investors. However, with their flexibility and fast ramp times gas-fired power plants are considered a necessary part of a power system with a high share of variable RES. Due to these developments, discussions on a revision of the EEG and alternative support schemes and incentive mechanisms for investments in conventional power plants are currently taking place in Germany.\n\nElectricity retail markets and prices\n\nElectricity retail markets are based on bilateral standardized contracts without any interactions on marketplaces. They are less complex than wholesale markets. In both Germany and China, households and industrial consumers pay different retail prices. In contrast to China, German households have to pay significantly more than industrial consumers. In 2012, the price amounted to roughly 0.13 \u20ac\/kWh for industrial consumers, whereas the price for household consumers amounted to approximately 0.26 \u20ac\/kWh [53]. These privileges for industrial consumers were introduced to increase the competitiveness of Germany's industry on world markets.\n\nThe retail price for electricity can be subdivided into three main categories:\n\n  * Taxes (electricity tax and value-added-tax) and fees (mainly concessional duties and the renewable energy surcharge) currently make up approximately 50 % of the electricity price.\n\n  * Costs of power generation and retail amount to approximately 30 % of the price. Between 1998 and 2000, these costs decreased from 0.1291 \u20ac\/kWh to 0.0858 \u20ac\/kWh as a result of the market liberalization of 1998, which created more market competition in all areas of the power sector supply chain. In the following years, the size of this price component increased slowly but steadily until 2009 and has remained rather stable since then [53].\n\n  * Governmentally regulated network charges compensating grid operators for electricity transmission and distribution. Network charges make up roughly 20 % of the retail price paid by household consumers [3]\n\nFigure 4.12 illustrates the development of electricity prices for private households and its composition in Germany since 2006. The electricity retail price has increased due to rising costs of power generation and retail as well as rising taxes and surcharges (fees), which increased from 0.0714 \u20ac\/kWh in 2006 to 0.1163 \u20ac\/kWh by 2012 [53]. The increase of the renewable energy surcharge from 0.008 \u20ac\/kWh in 2006 to 0.0528 \u20ac\/kWh in 2013 contributed to this development. In the same timeframe, the network charges decreased slightly.\n\nFig. 4.12\n\nDevelopment of the electricity price for private households in Germany, adapted from [3]\n\n### 4.4.4 Development of infrastructure and network regulation\n\nCoordination of network expansion\n\nIn Germany, many different stakeholders are involved in grid expansion planning. Even if planning activity is mainly in the hands of TSO and BNetzA, other established power sector companies, third parties and the public can also influence network expansion planning. From a legal point of view, the expansion of the electric power grid is mainly regulated by EnWG, by the Energy Network Development Act (EnLAG), and by NABEG:\n\n  * \u00a7 12 EnWG states that transmission grid operators are responsible for elaborating and issuing a coordinated network expansion plan each year. This plan is supposed to describe which upgrades of the transmission grids will be necessary during the following ten years. The process of network expansion planning is monitored by BNetzA. It allows for public participation and is open to comments from various stakeholders.\n\n  * EnLAG defines specific investment projects in single transmission lines with the intention of facilitating the integration of RES, improving the interconnection with neighboring countries, easing the connection of new power plants, and reducing network congestions.\n\n  * NABEG further specifies procedures relating to the network expansion plan. Its main motivation is to accelerate the planning and approval procedures of network expansion.\n\nCost pass-through regulation until 2009\n\nThe costs of investments in the grid infrastructure are shared by all electricity consumers via network charges. Until 2009, investment into the grid infrastructure was regulated using a so-called cost pass-through regulation which was also applied in many European countries and the United States. Cost pass-through regulation adjusts permissible revenues according to the grid operator's accounting and capital costs. The primary advantage of this system is that it lowers investment risks as practically all costs can be passed on to the end-user (via network charges), thus encouraging investment in the infrastructure. However, this regulation does not set incentives for efficient grid operation especially important in power systems with a limited need for grid expansion and upgrade.\n\nIncentive-based regulation after 2009\n\nToday, network charges in Germany are regulated using incentive-based regulation in the form of a so-called revenue cap. This solution relates to a model proposed by the former UK Treasury economist Stephen Littlechild in 1983. He criticized the lack of efficiency incentives of cost pass-through regulation and proposed the price-based regulation, which is known as RPI-X [54]. Apart from Germany, similar systems exist across Europe (e. g. the UK) and in some areas of the United States as well.\n\nFor Germany, the details of revenue cap regulation are defined in the Incentive Regulation Ordinance (ARegV). With price-based regulation, the future revenue cap is defined ex-ante for the coming regulation period (five years in Germany). Within the regulation period, the formula used to calculate the precise level of the revenue cap remains unchanged. Permissible revenues therefore follow a predetermined path during the regulation period. The revenue cap is mainly based on previous-year revenues minus the so-called RPI-X Factor. This factor consists of the retail price index (RPI) and an anticipated increase in productivity (the so-called X-Factor). The X-Factor is an important element of incentive-based regulation. It is determined individually for each grid operator. If a grid operator reaches a higher increase in productivity than anticipated by the regulator, additional cost savings need not be passed through to the consumer and thus remain as additional profit for the company. This mechanism therefore represents an incentive to improve efficiency. The disadvantage of incentive-based regulation is that cost-saving pressure may be at the expense of network investment. In Germany, with its large network investment requirements, a reform of the regulatory system to facilitate efficient investment is therefore currently being discussed.\n\nRegulation of supply security\n\nNetwork regulation relates not only to network charges but also to monitoring supply security. EnWG contains several paragraphs on this aspect. \u00a7 13 and \u00a7 14 EnWG assign responsibility for stable grid operation to transmission grid operators and distribution grid operators respectively. In urgent situations with a national relevance (for example situations of network congestions), grid operators must contact BNetzA without any delays (\u00a7 13, section 6, EnWG). With regard to less urgent and more local situations, grid operators are obliged to issue a yearly report listing all supply interruptions within their respective grid area (\u00a7 52 EnWG). This report must be submitted to BNetzA every year by the end of April via an internet-based process (see [55]).\n\nThe description of each supply interruption must include the time, duration, scope, and cause of the interruption. Grid operators are also obliged to describe the preventive measures taken to avoid such interruptions in the future. A document entitled Guidelines of BNetzA concerning reporting duties for supply interruptions in electric power grids according to \u00a7 52 EnWG (see [56]) specifies the information to be transmitted to the regulator.\n\n### 4.4.5 Coordination of generation and consumption\n\nLong-term coordination vs. short-term balancing of generation and consumption\n\nNeither electricity generation nor electricity consumption has changed dramatically in Germany during the last two decades. Thus, policies focusing on facilitating the long-term coordination of electricity generation capacities with the development of electricity consumption are not a primary concern in Germany. However, due to the increasing intermittency of Germany's electricity generation caused by RES integration, policies aiming at balancing electricity generation and consumption in the short-term have become more and more important.\n\nThe role of TSO in balancing generation and consumption in the short-term\n\nBefore the beginning of the unbundling process, decisions such as the dispatching of power plants were coordinated within the firms themselves. Today, these decisions are coordinated in the wholesale and retail markets described in Sect. 4.4.3. In some cases, however, the balancing of generation and consumption and respective dispatching of power plants as determined by the market cannot be realized due to physical restrictions with regard to power grid infrastructure capacities. In these cases, the TSO are responsible for balancing generation and consumption in order to secure system stability. Specifically, German TSO are allowed to take the following measures and make the following adjustments:\n\n  * So-called balancing markets are independent from EEX and OTC trading and allow generation and consumption to be adjusted in the very short term: according to \u00a7 12 EnWG, TSO can tender the required balancing power through a common internet platform.9 Three different reserves are tendered: primary, secondary, and tertiary reserve. Primary reserve needs to be available within 30 seconds and is tendered on a monthly basis. Secondary reserve must be available within 5 minutes and is also tendered on a monthly basis. Tertiary reserve has to replace the secondary reserve after 15 minutes. Tertiary reserve is tendered on a daily basis.\n\n  * An Ordinance on Disconnectable Loads (AbLaV) was issued in 2013. It allows TSO to tender, on a monthly basis, loads of up to 3 GW that can be disconnected within 15 minutes if there is an urgent need to adjust consumption downwards. Like in the balancing markets, the loads are tendered on an internet platform.\n\n  * If generation and consumption cannot be balanced in balancing markets or by disconnecting loads according to AbLaV, TSO are entitled to overrule market outcomes by forcing power generators to adjust their generation. In that case, the affected generation companies have to be compensated for financial losses and BNetzA has to be informed immediately on such measures.\n\nThe role of electricity tariffs in balancing generation and consumption in the short term\n\nTraditionally, the main function of electricity prices was the coordination of electricity generation and consumption in the long-run by incentivizing investments in generation capacities, grid capacities, and end-use-devices. Currently, there is a trend towards tariff structures on retail markets being designed to take over the balancing of generation and consumption even in the short term. The widespread introduction of such time-of-use pricing critically depends on a successful rollout of smart meters. Currently, only few households in Germany are equipped with smart meters. According to a recent survey among German energy market experts, the widespread rollout of smart meters is not expected to be completed before 2029 [57].\n\nAs a consequence, the German tariff system currently has less time-of-use pricing elements than the Chinese tariff system. The following elements provide examples for time-of-use pricing elements included in the German tariff system:\n\n  * For more than 20 years, electricity prices for industrial consumers have been separated into a peak load price and a base load price. This offers users an incentive to keep peak demand as low as possible. Technically, energy management systems within factories supervise and control the processes within certain ranges to effectively reduce peak demand. In recent times, more differentiated time-of-use pricing has been introduced to take advantage of the flexibility within the industrial production process for load shifting.\n\n  * Since 2011, EnWG has obliged each power retail company to offer at least one electricity tariff for residential consumers with price levels differentiating at least between times of peak and base load. However, only few German households have chosen such a tariff because the potential financial savings it offers are rather low [58].\n\n### 4.4.6 The role of information and communication\n\nThe role of government in promoting smart grid-related ICT\n\nIn addition to guiding the German debate on smart grid developments and including third parties in the smart grid development process, the German government promotes the development of smart grid technologies by means of innovation policies. The smart grid innovation policies of the German government currently focus on the promotion of R&D and are embedded into the government's broader energy research policy.\n\n  * The first objective of Germany's energy research policy is to contribute to achieving the targets set by the government in relation to the energy sector and climate policy by supporting the early-stage development of new technologies, concepts and business models.\n\n  * The second target is to enhance the position of German companies in the field of modern energy technologies.\n\n  * The third objective is to secure and enhance technological options. This objective seeks to help improve the flexibility of Germany's energy supply and is consequently directly related to smart grid technologies.\n\nIn general, smart grid research projects are co-funded by the German government with a government grant amounting to 50 % of the total project costs being paid to industrial project members. Public research institutes and universities often get 100 % government funding. Mainly large consortia of industrial companies (utilities, manufacturers, telcos, innovative small and medium-sized enterprises, and energy service companies) and R&D institutions such as universities or independent institutes compete among each other for government funds. Their research proposals are evaluated by independent evaluators or government bodies and the best concepts are recommended for funding.\n\nSome results from early R&D projects\n\nGermany's main funding program for smart grid and smart market policies so far was the so-called E-Energy funding scheme set up by BMWi and supported by BMUB. Extended demonstration projects were carried out in six German regions to validate the integration and balancing of renewables and the inclusion of third parties and smart markets such as regional energy marketplaces. The development of new ICT solutions for smart grids and smart markets was an additional key target. The overall volume of this program was roughly EUR 140 million [59].\n\nThe main motivations behind the E-Energy funding scheme were\n\n  * to establish a lead market in developing smart grid technologies,\n\n  * to integrate smart grid developments into the European context, and\n\n  * to guarantee the security of supply in the future power system.\n\nThe results of one of the E-Energy projects called E-DeMa show that in today's market conditions there are not enough incentives for residential consumers to apply DSM or demand response (DR) [60]. However, it is expected that the projected expansion of RES generation capacities will increase the demand and the corresponding business opportunity for DSM. Therefore, numerous German retailers have projects promoting consumers' commitment to shift electricity consumption to off-peak times and to use electricity more efficiently (e. g. by visualizing end users' electricity consumption). One important result in this context is that new market concepts are necessary to efficiently explore the load shifting potential of customers. An electronic marketplace developed in the framework of the E-Energy projects could, for example, serve as a communication and interaction platform for residential consumers.\n\nSelected findings and lessons learned from E-Energy\n\n  * Household customers with detailed information on their load behavior are able to reduce electricity consumption by roughly 5 %.\n\n  * Saving potentials are higher for commercial and industrial enterprises. These consumers were able to save up to 20 % with detailed information on their electricity consumption.\n\n  * Electricity consumption needs to be made transparent with feedback instruments indicating current and historical consumption.\n\n  * An illustration of historical consumption provided with the monthly electricity bill can sometimes constitute sufficient feedback for household consumers. In general, more sophisticated feedback instruments are necessary, especially for companies.\n\n  * Transparent electricity consumption patterns are not sufficient to save on electric power. Consumers must also be empowered to assess the relevant information and decide on possible options. Advisory measures, efficiency indicators, and analytic tools are necessary in this context.\n\nSource: B.A.U.M. Consult G.m.b.H. [59]\n\nIn the wake of the E-Energy funding scheme, the call for project proposals for the Future Proof Power Grids research program took place in early 2013. The aim of the program is to improve cooperation between industry and academia throughout the value chain and facilitate international research cooperation. Another goal is to improve the environmental, economic, and resource efficiency of electricity networks as well as the security of electricity supply research under this program is supported with a total of EUR 150 million provided by three different ministries [61]. More than 400 companies and 300 academic and research institutions formed research consortia and submitted 171 project proposals. The large majority of project proposals deals with issues related to distribution grids, with proposed research on transmission grids also attracting a significant amount of proposals and wind power integration trailing behind [61]. The focus of most proposals is on the management of grid operations, followed by technical challenges of transmission and distribution grids as well as network planning.\n\nThe role of the ICT industry in promoting smart grids\n\nThe ICT industry has developed a prominent view on Germany's smart grid issues. Representatives of the ICT industry contributed to the creation of the comprehensive German smart grid vision elaborated in FEG. Germany's ICT industry is focusing less on basic aspects of communications but more on general services to end consumers, e. g. value-added services at residential level, apps for energy efficiency, and big data aspects relating to power grid data exchange, data processing, and archiving. While smart grid funding and lobbying is strongly influenced by the ICT industry, aspects related to distribution grids are still dominated by companies from the energy sector.\n\nThe Federation of German Industries (BDI) and the Federal Association for Information Technology, Telecommunications and New Media (BITKOM), which focus on the ICT point of view, can be regarded as important players to address the view of the ICT industry in the smart grid debate: the former is a large general industrial association communicating the interests of German industry to those in positions of political responsibility. The latter is a large association dedicated to information technology, telecommunications, and new media industry. In addition to the promotion of the business development, these associations focus on the aspect of data privacy. Therefore, important legislation and regulatory topics covered by both associations are smart metering (private consumption data), smart home gateways (also private data and service interruptions), and certain aspects of controllable local systems and communication requirements of the German Forum Network Technology\/Network Operation in the VDE (FNN).\n\nInformation security in Germany's smart grid environment\n\nBesides system operation, information security in Germany strongly focuses on the aspect of user acceptance, e. g. in the domain of smart metering. In that context, data privacy is a very important issue. The standards discussed in the context of information security in Germany include the IEC Technical Committee (TC) 57 family, ISA 99 and the North American Electric Reliability Corporation's (NERC) Critical Infrastructure Protection Committee (CIPC). Furthermore, studies for the BMWi have been carried out to provide an overview of previous attacks in the energy domain, existing solutions and security standards, and also insights on security metrics and patterns [63].\n\nStandardization in the information security sector seeks to unify the implementation of ICT security measures. The ultimate aim is to improve the common security level in the power system.\n\nAn overview of common security standards in Germany is given by BITKOM and DIN, although it does not cover the energy domain directly [64]. An evaluation of security standards and guidelines for the energy domain was conducted in the European project European Network for the Security of Control and Real Time Systems (ESCoRTS). This topic is also addressed by the Smart Grid Information Security (SGIS) working group, which is partly responsible for carrying out the European Mandate M\/490 as well as the corresponding DKE Group STD 1911.11 in Germany (see [65]).\n\nThe requirements stated in the white paper on Requirements for Secure Control and Telecommunication Systems [66] by the German Association of Energy and Water Industries (BDEW) aim to support the acquisition, development, and revision of control and telecommunications systems in the energy sector to minimize the consequences of threats.\n\n\u25b6 Key findings\n\n#### Key findings\n\n  * Germany has a stable and nationwide integrated electric power system. The power sector is in an advanced state of unbundling, featuring widely used markets for power exchange. Retail prices are rather high in Germany due to taxes and levies imposed to finance the modernization of the power system.\n\n  * An important goal of the German government is to increase the sustainability of the electric power system. RES generation capacities have therefore been strongly built up in recent years and are likely to further increase in importance during the next decades. The increasing feed-in of intermittent RES generation puts more and more stress on grid operation in Germany. In this context, Germany has gathered significant experience on topics relating to grid integration and curtailment of RES.\n\n  * In Germany, smart grids are seen as a means to enhance the electric power grid so that it can cope with the increasing feed-in of RES and to avoid investments in the conventional (primary) grid infrastructure. New market concepts such as regional energy marketplaces, business services, and VPP also play an important role in the German smart grid concept. They are expected to increase business activities, integrate new market actors in the power sector, and facilitate the involvement of power consumers.\n\n  * Representatives from the electric power sector, manufacturing sector, ICT sector, and from the science and research community recently developed a comprehensive smart grid vision for Germany that uses a systematic and comprehensive top-down approach. This approach can serve as a best practice example of how to develop and formulate a smart grid vision.\n\n  * The government plays a strong role in Germany's energy sector regulation: it published credible long-term goals for the development of the power sector until 2050. There is also strong coordination between the different governmental institutions involved in energy policy. Finally, the regulatory authority is independent from the government and can be seen as a powerful player in Germany's power system. The government is very active in the smart grid development process as well: BNetzA has issued a widely acknowledged government position on smart grids and smart markets while BMWi aims at including new market actors in the smart grid development process.\n\n  * The unbundling process, the legally enforced trend towards more competition, as well as the migration towards smart grids and RES have contributed to the emergence of new market actors in Germany. Their growing importance can be considered as the most profound change in Germany's market structure during the last few years: new market actors introduced innovative products and services and contributed to the modernization of Germany's energy power sector. The ICT industry for example, has developed a prominent view on Germany's smart grid topics and places a special emphasis on services being provided to end consumers.\n\nOpen Access This chapter is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License, which permits any noncommercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author(s) and source are credited.\n\nReferences\n\n1.\n\nM. Czakainski, \"Energiepolitik in der Bundesrepublik Deutschland 1960 bis 1980 im Kontext der au\u00dfenwirtschaftlichen und au\u00dfenpolitischen Verflechtungen,\" in Energie \u2013 Politik \u2013 Geschichte, Stuttgart, Franz Steiner Verlag Wiesbaden GmbH, 1993.\n\n2.\n\nJ. Hauff, C. Heider, H. Arms, J. Gerber and M. 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(BITKOM)\/Deutsches Institut der Normung (DIN), \"Kompass der IT-Sicherheitsstandards \u2013 Leitfaden und Nachschlagewerk,\" BITKOM\/DIN, Berlin, 2007.\n\n65.\n\nNational Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST), NIST Framework and Roadmap for Smart Grid Interoperability Standards, US Department of Commerce, 2010.\n\n66.\n\nBundesverband der Energie- und Wasserwirtschaft (BDEW), Requirements for Secure Control and Telecommunication Systems, Berlin: BDEW, 2008.\n\nFootnotes\n\n1\n\nVertical foreclosure refers to a situation in which a company buys a supplier that supplies both the company and its competitors in order to discriminate against the competitors.\n\n2\n\nIn the German context, coal refers to both hard coal and lignite. These two fuels are used in roughly equal amounts.\n\n3\n\nHowever, system operators have the possibility of correcting market outcomes in the case of insufficient grid capacities. Nonetheless, grid capacity itself is not taken into account in the decisions of the market participants.\n\n4\n\nRegional energy markets have been tested in several demonstration projects in Germany, e. g. in the eTelligence project. A detailed overview of the results from eTelligence can be found in [62].\n\n5\n\nThe NABEG describes the precise steps and more importantly the timing of these steps to be fulfilled after a connection request. With this, it avoids unjustified delays with network connection. The role of BNetzA within this process is specified, for example, in paragraphs 5, 7, 8, and 9 of this law.\n\n6\n\nNote that the quantity of electricity virtually traded either via OTC or EEX is considerably higher than the physical quantity of electricity generation and consumption. This is due to hedging or arbitrage activities of market participants.\n\n7\n\nWind power represents an exception to this general framework: tariffs for wind farms are not constant over the whole period but are slightly elevated during the first years of the operation. Also, feed-in tariffs for wind farms do not decrease with the size of the wind farm.\n\n8\n\nDifference costs refer to the total amount of feed-in tariffs paid to investors minus the revenues from RES-E on wholesale markets.\n\n9\n\nPlease refer to http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200bregelleistung.\u200bnet for more information on this internet platform.\n\u00a9 The Author(s) 2015\n\nGert Brunekreeft, Till Luhmann, Tobias Menz, Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller and Paul Recknagel (eds.)Regulatory Pathways For Smart Grid Development in China10.1007\/978-3-658-08463-9_5\n\n# 5. Recommended approaches for smart grid development in China\n\nGert Brunekreeft1  , Marius Buchmann1, Christian D\u00e4nekas4, Xin Guo2, Christoph Mayer4, Marcus Merkel5, Christian Rehtanz6, Andr\u00e9 G\u00f6ring4, Andre Herrmann2, Ray Kodali2, Michael Stadler2, Mathias Uslar4, Nils Vogel2, Till Luhmann2  , Tobias Menz2  , Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller3  and Paul Recknagel3\n\n(1)\n\nJacobs University Bremen gGmbH, Bremen, Germany\n\n(2)\n\nBTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(3)\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn, Germany\n\n(4)\n\nOFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e.V., Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(5)\n\nEWE NETZ GmbH, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(6)\n\nef.Ruhr Forschungs-GmbH, Dortmund, Germany\n\nGert Brunekreeft\n\nEmail: g.brunekreeft@jacobs-university.de\n\nTill Luhmann\n\nEmail: Till.Luhmann@btc-ag.com\n\nTobias Menz (Corresponding author)\n\nEmail: Tobias.Menz@btc-ag.com\n\nSven-Uwe M\u00fcller\n\nEmail: sven-uwe.mueller@giz.de\n\nPaul Recknagel\n\nEmail: paul.recknagel@giz.de\n\n## 5.1 Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator\n\nChinese context\n\n  * China has formulated explicit targets for the short-term future of its electric power system in its 12 th Five-Year Plan for Energy Development. However, there are no official goals for the period after 2015. Also, there is as yet no comprehensive vision of China's smart grid, especially with regard to distribution grids and the period after 2020.\n\n  * The governance structure of China's energy system regulation comprises a broad variety of ministries and institutions. The multiplicity of these stakeholders as well as the frequent reorganizations that have been taking place lead to difficulties in coordination and increased overlap of competences between the various government institutions involved in the power system regulation.\n\n  * China's earlier regulatory authority, the State Electricity Regulatory Commission (SERC), was merged with the National Energy Administration (NEA) in 2013. The National Development and Reform Commission (NDRC) and NEA are currently the responsible regulatory institutions for the electricity sector. Both share regulatory responsibilities and are subject to political and industrial influence.\n\n### 5.1.1 Background\n\nSmart grids require strong government leadership\n\nSmart grids are not an objective in its own right, but a new approach to meet the challenges that will arise with future electricity systems, for instance with an increasing share of renewable energies. Specifically, smart grids aim at achieving economic efficiency by combining the strengths of conventional grids with the new capabilities of ICT. In Germany, ICT requirements in electricity grids are driven mainly by intermittent supply from RES. Without RES, the conventional grid infrastructure would be sufficient to maintain high reliability levels in Germany's electric power system.\n\nThe evolution towards smart grids necessitates strong vision and leadership on the part of the government, because smart grids are not a market-driven concept:\n\n  * A clearly defined long-term strategy for the electric power sector reduces uncertainty for smart grid investors and manufacturers. A lower level of uncertainty on future developments reduces the risks with respect to the investment's future cash flows. As such, smart grid investors and manufacturers are more willing to invest in smart grid technologies. A long-term strategy includes government targets with regard to the development of electricity generation capacities of different technologies (the so-called generation mix) and targets for energy efficiency.\n\n  * Clearly defined roles and responsibilities of government bodies are a fundamental requirement for the development of smart grids. Especially, a clear delineation between the competences of the ministries and the regulator, and possibly other supervisory bodies is associated with a high degree of credibility and assertiveness of government policy.\n\n  * An independent and powerful regulator functions as a coordinating institution between all market participants (incumbents and new market entrants). The coordination specifically focuses on the development of equal and non-discriminatory conditions of market entry where all market parties are treated equally and market power of single market actors is limited. The regulator should be sufficiently powerful to impose the measures necessary to manage the development of the electricity sector and the development of smart grids.\n\nCharacteristics of an independent regulator\n\nThere are two aspects to a regulator's independence:\n\n  * independence from the regulated industry and\n\n  * independence from politics.\n\nIt is important for the regulator to be independent from the industry that is being regulated. If independence is not guaranteed, the danger of so-called regulatory capture (i. e. the regulator rather favors commercial and industrial interests instead of public interests) is high [1]. On the other hand, a regulator needs to cooperate closely with the industry. Therefore, a relation of mutual trust is important. In some cases, the regulatory office is actually financed by the regulated industry. Note that this is not necessarily a contradiction to the requirement of independence. Following the rules set by the government, the firms are actually obliged to finance the work of the regulator on the basis of a pre-defined payment plan which is not based on a firm's satisfaction with the regulator's work. The risk of regulatory capture is therefore small.\n\nThe independence of the regulator from the regulated industry can be ensured in several ways:\n\n  * The processes, decisions, and procedures of the regulator have to be transparent so that they can be controlled.\n\n  * The regulator should make use of public consultations in which not only the regulated industry but also other stakeholders or the general public can express their views. Again, this avoids opaque agreements between the regulator and regulated industries.\n\n  * The regulator should be monitored at regular intervals and should have to justify its work, for example, in an annual report.\n\n  * Personal financial interests between the regulator and the regulated industry must be avoided. Two rules are specifically important in this context: first, senior regulator management should not be allowed to have financial stakes in the regulated industry. Second, a moratorium period during which senior regulator management cannot accept a job in the regulated industry is very useful.\n\nWhy the regulator should be independent from politics or from the ministry is a less straightforward question. Ultimately, the regulator is a government institution that is governed by the ministry. The relevant concern is the precise legal delineation of authority: who decides on what? In the following, four main arguments for independence of the regulator are listed:\n\n  * Following the classical pattern of the separation of powers, the legislator, the body that sets the rules, needs to be separated from the regulator, who applies the rules, as a system of checks and balances.\n\n  * The state may be the owner of the regulated industry, which causes an obvious conflict of interest.\n\n  * Ministries are often very close to political decision-makers and base their decisions on criteria that are different from those of regulators. Politicians have to mediate and choose between various diverging preferences in their society. Regulators of a monopoly industry, in contrast, try to improve overall efficiency by applying legal and economic tools.\n\n  * Regulation requires a long-term perspective. Grid operators for example, are incentivized to continuously invest in the grid infrastructure only with a high predictability and stability of legal and regulatory decisions. Whereas politicians tend to be subject to so-called short-termism (i. e. they often ignore long-term issues), an independent regulator is less vulnerable to short-termism as he is not elected by the public.\n\nHow can independence of the regulator from politics be achieved?\n\n  * In the governance structure, the regulator can be an independent chamber of the ministry instead of an integrated department.\n\n  * The appointment and especially the dismissal of the chief regulator(s) should be a transparent and well-defined process.\n\n  * The regulatory office should have a budget that is largely independent from daily government business.\n\n  * The duties and powers of the regulator should be laid down in a law. Specifically, the delineation of competence between the regulator and the ministry should be clearly described. In many countries, a general energy law contains a description of the duties and powers of the regulator.\n\n  * There should be a system of checks and balances. Specifically, it has to be clear who is responsible for regulating and controlling the regulator. For example, this may be a judicial court system, or another regulatory authority with an equal level of substance (e. g. a competition commission). A system of checks and balances allows greater regulator independence.\n\nIt is important to note that the precise details of independence from politics or ministries depend strongly on the wider political and governmental structure in a country.\n\nCharacteristics of a powerful regulator\n\nThe need for a powerful regulator is more obvious:\n\n  * The competences of the regulator need to be laid down in a law so that decisions can be enforced and challenged in court. In Europe, it has been extensively debated whether the liberalized parts of the energy sector could be regulated under a general competition law or whether sector-specific legislation is necessary to ensure the development of competition. The test of practical experience, for example in Germany, has shown convincingly that sector-specific regulation, executed by a sector-specific regulator, is necessary (e. g. [2]).\n\n  * The regulator needs to have an adequate budget. The stakes in industry are so high that it always pays off for the industry to hire consultants, lawyers, and lobbyists to argue their case; the regulator needs to address these claims. Moreover, good regulation is difficult and requires highly qualified staff; the regulator will have to compete with the industry for qualified employees.\n\n  * Electric power companies and other stakeholders should have the right to appeal the regulator's decisions before a court or other tribunals empowered to conduct judicial reviews. Such a system of checks and balances makes the regulator more powerful because knowing that another institution may check and correct the regulator allows him to take more risk.\n\n### 5.1.2 International practice\n\nLong-term strategies for the electric power sector\n\nMedium-term to long-term plans with concrete goals regarding electricity consumption, energy efficiency, and\/or renewables have been published in many industrialized and emerging countries. These plans often cover a period of at least 25 years (see [3], [4], and [5] for examples from UK, India, and Brazil). In its Federal Energy Concept, Germany has defined binding political goals for renewables until 2050. The government has specified the future share of RES-E in gross electricity production with four goals for different time periods: by 2020 renewables are to have a share of at least 35 % in gross electricity consumption, a 50 % share by 2030, 65 % by 2040 and 80 % by 2050 [6]. Similar targets have been defined with respect to gross electricity consumption that is planned to decrease by 50 % until 2050.\n\nDifferent studies commissioned by the German government analyze how to achieve the various government targets. At the same time, the scenarios for energy and power sector development put forward in these studies serve as a foundation for policy formulation and a point of reference for further studies on more particular topics such as smart grid development. A study entitled Long-term scenarios and strategies for the expansion of renewable energies in Germany, taking account of developments in Europe and across the world investigated potential scenarios with respect to the development of renewable energies in Germany [7]. The results of this study are used to define strategies for the development of smart grids in Germany (e. g. how to finance the large investment requirements for smart grids).\n\nThe role of an independent and powerful regulator\n\nThe OECD points at the importance of a clear definition of roles and responsibilities with respect to regulation. Within the OECD's recommendations on regulation, the necessity of a common government policy defining clear goals for the regulation process is specified. According to OECD, strategies shall be set for the implementation of these goals to give regulation a clearly defined framework [8]. Furthermore, OECD emphasized the importance of an independent and powerful regulator for the efficient development of the electricity sector. The government has the task to clearly define the duties and the power of the regulator [8]. OECD also points out that independence of the regulator is essential since its decisions can have serious economic effects on the regulated parties. This is especially the case for smart grids, where the introduction of competition is directly related to economic effects for the incumbents.\n\nThe US American way: FERC\n\nThe Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) is the regulatory authority in the United States. It is an independent regulator responsible for the regulation of the interstate transmission of electricity, natural gas, and oil. In addition, FERC reviews proposals to build liquefied natural gas (LNG) terminals and interstate natural gas pipelines, and it licenses hydro power projects. Further responsibilities of FERC outlined in the Energy Policy Act of 2005 include, amongst others:\n\n  * review of mergers and acquisitions as well as corporate transactions by electricity companies,\n\n  * approval of siting and abandonment of interstate natural gas pipelines and storage facilities,\n\n  * licensing and inspection of hydro power projects,\n\n  * protection of the reliability of the high voltage interstate transmission system through mandatory reliability standards,\n\n  * monitoring and investigation of energy markets, and\n\n  * administration of accounting and financial reporting regulations and conduction of regulated companies [58].\n\nThe independence and power of FERC are specified in 42 USC section 7172 g \u2013 Jurisdiction of the Commission [59]:\n\n> \"The decision of the Commission involving any function within its jurisdiction, other than action by it on a matter referred to it pursuant to section 7174 of this title, shall be final agency action within the meaning of section 704 of title 5 and shall not be subject to further review by the Secretary or any officer or employee of the Department.\"\n\nThe European Commission (EC) describes the characteristics of a powerful regulator in articles 37 et seq. of Directive 2009\/72\/EC (see appendix E). It states, for instance, that a powerful regulator should fulfill the following tasks and requirements:\n\n  * issue decisions that are binding for electric power companies,\n\n  * impose effective, proportionate, and dissuasive penalties on electric power companies,\n\n  * ensure high standards of universal and public service,\n\n  * protect vulnerable customers,\n\n  * contribute to the effectiveness of consumer protection measures, and\n\n  * promote effective competition and the proper functioning of the electricity market.\n\nGermany has established BNetzA, a regulator independent from the industry and the government. The powers and duties of BNetzA are recorded in EnWG. Neither the ministry nor the industry can overrule the decisions taken by BNetzA. The regulator's decisions can only be challenged before the court. The German regulator makes use of its power to supervise the network charges of the grid operators, to prevent or remove obstacles in access to energy supply networks for suppliers and consumers, to standardize processes for switching the power retail company, and to improve the conditions for connecting new generators to the grid. Driven by the growing share of renewables and the resulting need to expand the grid infrastructure in Germany, the regulator also has the task of supervising the network expansion process (see Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b1 for more detailed information on the German regulator).\n\n### 5.1.3 Recommended approach for China\n\nChina has not yet formulated explicit targets for the long-term future of its electric power system. This situation risks creating uncertainty among smart grid investors and manufacturers which might consequently postpone smart grid investments. Their uncertainty could be reduced by means of a clearly defined and committed long-term strategy for the electric power sector. Such a strategy should include government targets with regard to future generation capacities, shares of different generation technologies (generation mix), and targets for energy efficiency. In Germany, the long-term energy strategy contains binding government goals for a period of roughly 40 years, whereas long-term energy strategies in countries with higher economic growth rates and accordingly more dynamic energy sectors (e. g. India and Brazil) cover periods of approximately 25 years.\n\nThe governance structure of China's energy system comprises a broad variety of ministries and institutions. The multiplicity of these stakeholders as well as the frequent reorganizations that have been taking place lead to a rather low degree of coordination and to a rather high degree of overlaps of competence between the various government actors involved in the power system regulation. Based on OECD recommendations and on the German experiences, clearly defined roles and responsibilities concerning the regulation of the electricity sector and the development of smart grids would accelerate and ease the smart grid development in China. The existence of an independent and powerful regulator is by far the most important regulatory issue in this context. China's earlier regulatory authority, SERC, was recently merged with NEA. NDRC and NEA are currently the most relevant regulatory institutions for the electricity sector. As they share regulatory competences and are subject to political and industrial influence, regulation in China is less powerful and independent than in countries such as Germany and the United States. Thus, specific attention should be paid to the development of an independent and powerful regulator in China.\n\nThe recommended approach at a glance\n\n  * A long-term strategy for the electric power system serves as a basis for more specific smart grid development strategies and objectives and is important for investors to gain investment security.\n\n  * It is beneficial to centralize responsibilities for the regulation of the electricity sector in the hands of a single independent and powerful institution (regulator) that supervises the efficient development of the electric power system in general and smart grids in particular.\n\n## 5.2 Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information\n\nChinese context\n\n  * Chinese grid operators are still integrated as they own and operate the electric power grids, are responsible for power retail, and invest in RES generation capacities. Also, power system data management (i. e. data collection and provision on grid status as well as generation and consumption quantities) is their task. Both major grid operators are currently developing systems for data management in smart grids. However, these systems focus on information collection by the grid operator for their own operation management, but not on information provision to other market actors.\n\n  * New market actors are rarely participating in the development process of smart grids in China. Therefore, the innovation potential which could come from these new stakeholders, for instance from the ICT sector, currently remains untapped.\n\n  * The Chinese government plans to establish a modern energy market system to increase competition and affordability. In particular, the reform of state-owned enterprises and the introduction of more market-related elements are envisaged.\n\n### 5.2.1 Background\n\nBenefits of integrating new market actors\n\nSmart grids are a relatively new concept aiming at making grid operation more reliable and efficient and accelerating the emergence of new energy-related products and services. Due to the novelty of the smart grid approach, many technological advances and ideas are necessary for smart grids to be developed in an effective and efficient way. Experiences from other sectors and countries suggest that new market actors, i. e. new competitors in the electric power sector or companies from other sectors such as the ICT industry, are key drivers of innovations: on the one hand, they offer innovative products and services that were not supplied by established market actors before. In a smart grid context, non-incumbents create new business models and offer new products and services by making use of available power system information and infrastructure in an innovative way (see Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b2 for examples of new market actors in the German electricity sector). On the other hand, new market actors contribute to an increased level of competition which is usually considered to drive innovation, enable greater cost efficiency in production, lower retail price levels, and provide a higher variety of products and services (see Sect.\u200b 2.\u200b3).\n\nA fair access to essential facilities is a prerequisite for new market actor integration\n\nNew market actors can only enter the markets if equal and non-discriminatory access to essential facilities (i. e. a level playing field) is guaranteed [9] [10]. In smart grids, level playing fields should be secured in two respects:\n\n  * First, equal access to the physical grid infrastructure is important. Since connecting new power generation and consumption units to the power grid is laborious and often associated with high costs, grid operators might have a tendency to discriminate in favor of affiliated companies or against generators and consumers in remote regions. Regulation must prevent such a discriminatory behavior.\n\n  * Second, access to power system information and data is required. Power system information and data are getting increasingly important and are a prerequisite for new market actors to offer new and innovative products and services [11]. This does not mean that each established or new market actor has access to all power system information, or that information is even open to the public; instead it means that each eligible market actor has equal and fair access to the information relevant for his business model. This is the task of power system data management, which should be organized in a way that both established and new market actors can participate in the rule-making process and can trust on non-discriminatory access.\n\nConcepts for a non-discriminatory access to power system information\n\nTwo concepts should ensure a non-discriminatory access to power system information and data in smart grids:\n\n  * Technology neutrality is a regulatory concept for the telecommunications sector that was introduced by the European Commission in Directive 2002\/21\/EG. In this context, technology neutrality means that the regulator does not impose or discriminate in favor of a particular type of technology. This concept has been applied to several technological issues in Europe, for example with respect to the development of broadband internet, where the regulator left it open to the market to decide between the deployment of different technologies such as digital subscriber line (DSL), power-line communications (PLC), cable modem, or satellite. Technology neutrality is also important for smart grids, e. g. with respect to the question regarding which infrastructure should be used for the power system information exchange. This issue is currently being discussed under the headline of advanced metering infrastructure (AMI).1 The development of AMI is in its early introduction phase. Therefore, what specific technology should be used for building up the necessary infrastructure has not yet been settled. Different technologies could be applied, e. g. PLC, wireless, or fiber technologies. In this context, regulation needs to ensure that the most efficient technology will be applied, independently of which company supplies the technology.\n\n  * Provider neutrality is another general regulatory concept that is also currently applied in the telecommunications sector in Europe. It basically states that the regulator should ensure that regulation does not discriminate against particular service providers. Applied to smart grids, this means that the regulator should ensure that established and new market actors are treated equally and allowed to offer services on an equal footing in smart grids. On the one hand, services could be provided by established players (e. g. DSO), on the other hand new market actors could provide complementary services or even substitute services of established players for the costumer. Provider neutrality should consequently ensure that competitive advantages (e. g. best technologies or low costs\/prices) and not the provider's market power affects consumer's choice.\n\nDefining roles and responsibilities of all market actors eases new market actor integration\n\nLiberalized energy markets for energy resources, electricity, capacity, or ancillary services necessitate the exchange of large amounts of information and data between different market actors. A mounting number of market actors leads to a more intensive inter-company exchange of operational and business-related information and data. Against this background, it is of critical importance that all market actors get assigned their respective roles and responsibilities [12]: on the one hand, they have to know the stakes and information requirements of their business partners and other actors in the electric power sector to better understand their business opportunities and their own contribution towards smart grid development. On the other hand, specific rules and data standards for inter-company exchange of business-related information help to reduce the transaction costs among all market actors.\n\n### 5.2.2 International practice\n\nEnsuring technology neutrality\n\nFor the development of smart grids, the concept of technology neutrality is particularly important with respect to the development of the ICT infrastructure. In principle, different communication technologies could be applied (PLC, 3G, etc.) and different data storages types could be used. Eurelectric, the association of the electricity industry in Europe, has defined basic requirements for the ICT infrastructures in smart grids. The German regulator has addressed this issue as well and specified that, currently, a medium-scale broadband connection should fulfill the necessary requirements to build up the AMI for smart grids. However, the German regulator stresses that with the use of real-time data the quality requirements concerning availability and latency cannot be fulfilled by all existing ICT solutions on the market [13].\n\nBasic requirements for ICT infrastructures in smart grids\n\nAccording to Eurelectric, the most important requirements for ICT in the context of smart grids are to:\n\n  * \"Ensure that telecoms infrastructure and links are absolutely reliable, robust, meet operational requirements in terms of speed, capacity and latency and will be available at all times, particularly at times of critical incidents (e. g. be resilient to power outages for several hours because they are needed to rebuild the grid.\n\n  * Provide well manageable and robust access control and user privileges mechanisms to the smart grid components and systems.\n\n  * Guarantee the confidentiality, integrity and authentication of all smart grid-related communication events.\n\n  * Guarantee a robust physical protection for the smart grid components as well as for the whole communication network.\n\n  * Ensure that mission-critical telecommunications services are still alive during and up to the end of a wide area 72 hours blackout.\n\n  * Implement strong monitoring systems to keep track of all the smart grid activity, implementing Security Information and Event Management (SIEM) systems for security related incidents analysis and maintain well trained security response teams to have a strong and quick response in the case of any security violation.\n\n  * Warrant a true real time transfer of information: for a part the smart grid can be seen as an extension of the current SCADA systems; fully available at any time and the guaranteeing the perfect transfer of commands and feedback confirmation of the system operations.\n\n  * Have an end-to-end security approach to guarantee a transversal security layer on the smart grid.\"\n\nSource: Wording from Eurelectric [61]\n\nEnsuring provider neutrality\n\nProvider neutrality is a key requirement for third-party access in general and is currently being discussed within the evaluation of different governance models for power system information management in smart grids. In this context, the European Commission (EC) has been trying to define which actor should be responsible for the data handling in smart grids. The models under discussion are based on unbundled companies or new market actors. The discussion on the different governance models is ongoing and no decision has been taken yet. Three potential models are currently being discussed (for more details see [11]):\n\n  * DSO as market facilitator: This model allocates responsibility for power system data management, including collection of data and construction of the necessary information infrastructure to the DSO. The concentration of responsibilities within one institution has the advantage of centralized internal coordination and management of the ICT infrastructure. The main disadvantage of a DSO-centered solution addresses discrimination concerns. In principle, unbundling prescriptions require the neutrality of DSO in Europe. Yet, it is doubtful whether full neutrality can be guaranteed because of asymmetric information to the disadvantage of the regulator. This concept requires significant regulatory oversight. However, it is not new to the regulator, as the DSO are already regulated.\n\n  * Independent central data hub (CDH): The CDH would be responsible for power system data management in smart grids and for central data storage under the supervision of the regulator. A key advantage of this approach is the neutrality of the market facilitator and the non-discriminatory access to information for third parties. The key challenge for this concept is the need to establish coordination mechanisms between the parties involved, e. g. the network owners\/system operators and the CDH. It should be noted that the regulator needs to ensure that the provider of the CDH does not discriminate against other parties or abuse its market power.\n\n  * Data access point manager (DAM): The DAM concept focuses on a competitive market for power system information management and proposes to establish independent and unregulated service providers that consumers can choose from. Each DAM offers to build up the necessary information infrastructure for the consumer. Importantly, the DAM does not store the data centrally. Storage remains decentralized with the users, giving consumers full control of their own data. The DAM only acts as an interface which allows each consumer to decide which commercial party gets access to its main data. Such a decentralized approach requires a high degree of standardization to ensure flawless system integration. The DSO would have to control the quality of services provided by the DAM and each regulator would need to define the basic principles of the DAM to integrate them into the national electricity system.\n\nDefining roles and responsibilities of all market actors\n\nAt the European level, the Smart Grids Task Force (SGTF) of the European Commission broadly defined roles and responsibilities of various market actors in smart grids [12]: in a first step, all relevant smart grid actors (including companies from all supply chain stages of the electric power sector, end-users as well as influencing actors such as regulators, legislation authorities and standardization bodies) have been defined (see appendix E for an overview of all smart grid actors defined). In a second step, current as well as future responsibilities related to the smart grid development have been described for all actors. The work of SGTF should be understood as a practical toolset and guideline for further developments and business models for use by grid operators and grid users [12].\n\nFuture responsibilities of grid operators in smart grids\n\n\"[...] it appears that it is the DSOs who will have to face the biggest challenges so that Smart Grids will become a reality. The reasons include;\n\n  * Growing distributed generation, active management of demand, local storage and electric vehicles (EV) will impact the DSO infrastructure. Thus the DSO will have to be an active participant in all such projects along with the actors implementing these projects as these projects will fundamentally change today's relatively static distribution system to a much more dynamic distribution system.\n\n  * As more fluctuating distributed generation will feed into the distribution system, gathering and handling the data about the state of the distribution system will be one key issue for the DSO.\n\n  * Attention will need to be paid to ensure that all privacy and system security recommendations (in line with the provisions defined by EG2) will be adhered to. Ownership of the data, length of time data is stored etc. will all need to be addressed in an appropriate way.\n\n  * The data collected will enable the DSOs to fulfil their duty in relation to the overall grid stability and operational security, given that more and more distributed generation will be connected to the distribution grid.\n\nIn order to resolve the above challenges, the DSOs will have to continue upgrading their grid infrastructure, control centres and educating their employees accordingly.\n\nThe TSOs will have to provide more support & communication of data to the DSOs, but will also require more specific information from the DSOs, especially with more distributed generation coming from the distribution grids. In order to achieve this, both TSOs and DSOs need to ensure that the standards they implement for communication and data exchange are compatible. It also follows that the TSOs will have to gradually redesign power system control as well as market information management relating to forecasting the overall system load in conjunction with the DSOs. At the same time, the DSOs will have to strengthen their role in providing the required data relating to the distributed generation, local storage and electric vehicles within the distribution grid.\n\nBoth TSO and DSO should be able to execute their active role in Smart Grid management by ensuring more sophisticated legal provisions for system security management under increased uncertainty. Following the analysis about funding [...], these mechanisms should include the ability to interfere with the planned market activities in case of disturbed or emergency operational conditions, without \"automatic\" socialization of the related costs to other grid users.\n\nFinally, the role of grid communications will significantly increase as much more data will have to be gathered and exchanged frequently, which will be in turn used for different purposes by the grid operators and other service providers. As stated above, the standardization of communication protocols as well as clear rules for the handling and the security of this data will have to be developed and enforced. The security of the grid and supply systems as well as the privacy of customer data must remain the top priority.\"\n\nSource: Wording from Smart Grids Task Force [11]\n\nAt the German level, roles and responsibilities of companies in the electric power sector are further specified in EnWG, with an emphasis on specific conditions in Germany. This definition of roles and responsibilities in Germany's most prominent energy law contributed to a high understanding on business opportunities and legal obligations among affected companies in Germany.\n\nWith respect to the inter-company exchange of business-related information, BNetzA issued the so-called Business Processes for Delivery of Electricity to Customers (GPKE) based on the United Nations Electronic Data Interchange for Administration, Commerce and Transport (UN\/EDIFACT) in 2006 (see [14] for more information). GPKE standardize inter-company communication and data exchange in the case of typical business processes such as billing of customers or customers changing their power retail company. In reducing transaction costs of typical business processes, GPKE ease the emergence of new market actors.\n\n### 5.2.3 Recommended approach for China\n\nThe main electricity sector reform of 2002 mandated the separation (or unbundling) of the state-owned vertically integrated utility responsible for all supply chain stages across China into five big power generation companies, two major grid operators handling transmission, distribution and retail as well as four power service corporations. China's power generation sector can be described as liberalized, as it potentially allows competition between the major five generation companies and the thousands of smaller local and regional generation companies. Chinese grid operators are not completely unbundled as they own and operate the electric power grids, are responsible for retail, and also invest into RES generation capacities. Recently a potential separation of grid operators into transmission and distribution companies or into smaller, regional businesses has been subject of debate [15]. With respect to smart grid developments, non-incumbents (e. g. from the ICT sector) are not yet actively participating in the development process. Therefore, the innovation potential which could come from these new stakeholders, for instance the ICT sector, currently remains untapped.\n\nExperiences from Europe show that defining roles and responsibilities of established and new market actors (including specific rules and data standards for inter-company exchange of business-related information) leads to a better understanding of business opportunities and helps to reduce the transaction costs among all market actors. As such, the definition of roles and responsibilities contributed to the emergence of new market actors in the European electricity sector.\n\nCurrently, the management of power system data (e. g. grid status information or metering data on electricity generation and consumption) is in the hands of China's grid operators. The concepts of technology and provider neutrality are not applied. As soon as new market actors are to be integrated in the electric power system, power system data management will become more relevant on a broader scale. The regulator should develop a governance system that will ensure provider and technology neutrality and a level playing field for all stakeholders. Non-discriminatory access to information in smart grids is of particular importance for third parties to be able to develop their business plans. Neutral information management is therefore a key issue. There are various models currently being discussed in Europe. However, there is not yet one preferred solution fitting all possible contexts. Therefore, recommending a best practice approach to China in this context is not yet advisable. A better approach would be to evaluate what governance model best suits China to ensure non-discriminatory access to information for third parties in the near future.\n\nThe recommended approach at a glance\n\n  * Defining roles and responsibilities of established and non-established market actors in the smart grid development facilitates the emergence of new market actors and helps to make the exchange of business-related information and data more efficient.\n\n  * It should be evaluated which framework for smart grid data management is able to ensure provider and technology neutrality in China. On this basis, a suitable framework needs to be established.\n\n## 5.3 Introduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade\n\nChinese context\n\n  * China's main challenge in the electricity sector is how to handle the massive electricity grid expansion necessary to facilitate the country's rapid economic growth and to integrate the increasing number of RES. A network regulation system that focuses on facilitating investments is lacking.\n\n  * At present, there is no explicit price for power transmission and distribution (network charge) based on actual costs. The source of grid operators' income is the difference between the on-grid and the retail price for electricity, which are both fixed by the government.\n\n### 5.3.1 Background\n\nNetwork regulation for smart grids\n\nSmart grids require substantial investment and innovation, especially from the grid operators. In setting network charges (i. e. prices for power transmission and distribution), regulating institutions have an important influence on the investment behavior of grid operators. Which regulatory scheme (i. e. which specific method used for calculating network charges) is best suited to set incentives for efficient investment is far from settled: in general, regulation should facilitate necessary investment and avoid unnecessary investment at the same time.\n\nIn a smart grid context, incentivizing efficient investment into the infrastructure is becoming even more important because benefits of innovation and investment in smart grid technologies may not always accrue to the investor (more information on this issue is presented below). In these cases, additional incentive schemes are required to encourage grid operators to invest specifically in smart grid technologies.\n\nThe benefits of regulating only the monopolistic bottlenecks\n\nEven if it is far from settled which regulatory scheme is best suited to set incentives for efficient investment, it is generally accepted that network regulation should focus on the monopolistic bottlenecks (transmission and distribution grids), leaving the commercial businesses (generation, trade and retail) to competitive forces and monitoring by competition law [16], [17]. This approach is referred to as disaggregated regulation. Also with respect to the smart grid development, it has been emphasized that regulation should only focus on network charges and network planning while all other aspects should be subject to the market and competition law [13].\n\nDisaggregated regulation has the following advantages:\n\n  * Regulation inevitably provides misdirected incentives: only competitive markets are able to provide incentives to hold prices down to marginal costs and to minimize long-run costs. Regulated markets can only do one or the other but not both [18]. In this light, a regulatory focus on the natural monopoly part of the supply chain avoids misdirected incentives at the competitive parts of the supply chain.\n\n  * Leaving a stage of the supply chain unregulated eases the market entry of new market actors [19] because requirements for licenses, permits and monitoring obligations in regulated markets raise the investment needed to enter a market.\n\n  * A focus on regulation of the natural monopoly may improve the quality of regulation because the regulator's most skilled employees can more easily focus their efforts on the natural monopoly part of the supply chain. It will then be easier for them to get a grip on the regulated firms' cost-developments and investment requirements.\n\n  * Different stages of the electric power system may require different types of regulation. In case the regulator decides to regulate the retail stage of the electricity value chain, it is important to set incentives for quality of service and cost efficiency of power retail companies and to allow differentiated tariffs for different consumer groups. Regulation for networks, in turn, needs to set incentives for efficient investment, as network expansion has become so urgent.\n\nNetwork regulation and investment incentives\n\nDisaggregated regulation entails the necessity to apply a specific network regulation scheme. The challenge of network regulation is setting efficient investment incentives (i. e. allowing necessary investment while avoiding unnecessary investment) because the regulator is confronted with the following dilemma: the regulated companies know their own cost structures and market opportunities better than the regulator. As a consequence, regulation cannot provide full-powered incentives to incentivize necessary investment and to avoid unnecessary investment at the same time [18]. Regulators must always accept a trade-off between both goals.2 The regulator's challenge is to achieve acceptable levels of both goals at the same time. In accordance with the trade-off described above, two polar cases are commonly distinguished in regulation theory:\n\n  * Rate-of-return (also known as cost-pass-through) regulation fixes the rate of return and requires revenues to adjust according to underlying costs. If costs go down, revenues should go down and if costs go up, revenues may go up as well. Therefore, the incentives to reduce costs are low. In fact, firms make profits by inflating the capital base as this is the basis for the rate of return. With cost-pass-through regulation, firms may actually have strong incentives to overinvest (i. e. they do not avoid unnecessary investment).\n\n  * Price-cap regulation, also called revenue-cap regulation or RPI-X regulation, tries to avoid these very incentives [20]. Price-cap regulation fixes the price or revenue path ex-ante for the next regulatory period, irrespective of the actual cost development during the regulatory period. If the firm succeeds in reducing its costs more than anticipated by the regulator, the firm can keep the additional profits; this is an incentive to minimize costs. Therefore, this type of regulation is often called incentive regulation.3 A counterargument for price-cap regulation is a situation in which costs do not go down, but tend upwards. This typically happens if networks need to be expanded. Under the typical RPI-X regulation, firms then have an incentive to avoid necessary investments [21].\n\nThe necessity of additional incentive schemes in a smart grid context\n\nAn additional challenge is starting to emerge given the decentralization of decisions in the smart grid value chain. This challenge can be illustrated through the following example: suppose a new market actor, e. g. the operator of a wind farm, wants to invest in storage capacities close to a wind farm as the facility can store electricity from the wind farm at times of congestion in the grid. Imagine that this investment would be economically more efficient than expanding the distribution grid. From the perspective of the grid operator, only the costs associated with the investment in the grid infrastructure are usually taken into account for calculating the network charges. Thus, the grid operator has no incentive to support the investment in the economically more efficient storage facility. The regulatory framework needs to take account of the spill-over effects and allow cost- and revenue-sharing models to incentivize investment in smart grid solutions, like the storage facility in the example above.\n\n### 5.3.2 International practice\n\nRegulation of monopolistic bottlenecks and network regulation schemes\n\nIn Europe and many other countries with liberalized electricity markets, regulation focuses on the natural monopoly part of the supply chain, i. e. power transmission and distribution grids. The other elements of the supply chain, i. e. generation and retail, are liberalized and governed by general competition law only. As such, European power sector regulators focus primarily on the regulation of network charges for transmission and distribution grids. In fact, most of them are not even authorized to intervene in the competitive parts of the electricity sector.\n\nWith respect to specific network regulation schemes, the cost-pass-through regulation was traditionally applied in many European countries and the United States. Since this regulation scheme does not set incentives for an efficient grid operation, which is especially important in power systems with a limited need for grid expansion and upgrade, most European countries and some parts of the United States abandoned cost-pass-through regulation in favor of different variants of price cap regulation.4 Germany for example, applies an RPI-X regulation scheme since 2009 (see Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b4 for more details). Currently, only Belgium and most parts of the United States [22], [23] still apply cost-pass-through regulation. Owing to the large network investment requirements associated with the transition towards more RES and smart grids, a reform of the RPI-X system to facilitate efficient investment is currently being discussed in Germany and other parts of Europe. In the light of these developments, it can be seen that no single regulatory scheme is preferable in every situation. In the end, regulatory schemes have to take into account the current needs of each country under consideration.\n\nRegulatory approaches setting incentives for efficient investments\n\nNetwork regulation should set incentives for network operators to develop a secure and stable network at the lowest cost. Also, network regulation should set incentives to invest in smart grid solutions, especially in solutions that defer costly investments in grid expansion. Three possible incentive instruments have been applied in countries such as Italy, the United States, and the United Kingdom. These instruments are described below. However, note that this list is not comprehensive:\n\n  * Explicit investment incentives could be applied. Such incentives could be so-called rate-of-return adders. The idea behind rate-of-return adders is that network operators can earn additional return on equity (ROE) for specific projects selected by the regulator. The rate-of-return adder (usually between 2 % and 3 %) increases the incentive for the network operator to build this specific line or to invest in the respective project. This concept has proven to be successful in Italy. Here, roughly 71 % of all investments made by the Italian TSO Terna in 2009 were priority projects with a rate-of-return adder. In Italy, this adder is provided for twelve years after the investment [24]. In Italy's case, it can be observed that overall investments, not only those with the rate-of-return adder, increased since the introduction of the adder. Similar effects were observed in the United States [24].\n\n  * Explicit profit-sharing mechanisms, or sliding scales, are currently applied in the UK [25]. They can contribute to strengthening the incentives for investment in smart grid technologies. The idea behind the profit-sharing mechanism is that the grid operator is allowed to keep a share of a cost reduction achieved through the application of a smart application (e. g. a storage facility) as a substitute for grid investments. If the costs for the smart application are lower than the investment in the grid infrastructure, but both measures result in a more stable grid, then the grid operator has an incentive to invest in the smart application. Note that the sliding scales have to be granted by the regulator and that calculating their size is a complex task.\n\n  * The innovation bonus is an additional instrument motivating the grid operator to invest in smart grid technologies. The innovation bonus is determined by the regulator and grants funds for R&D activities of the grid operators. The additional costs for the R&D activity are thereby at least partially refunded to the operator and do not reduce the operator's revenues. The innovation bonus is currently applied in the UK as well and has proved to be an efficient instrument [25]. Similar to rate-of-return adders, innovation bonuses can be designed and granted rather easily by the regulator.\n\n### 5.3.3 Recommended approach for China\n\nChina does currently not apply disaggregated regulation, but electricity wholesale and retail prices are subject to regulation. A basic step in the regulatory environment would be to focus on the monopolistic networks alone. This would avoid misdirected incentives at the generation and retail sectors, ease the emergence of new market actors, and improve the quality of regulation. In applying a specific regulation scheme, the regulator should focus on setting efficient investment incentives. As there is no regulation scheme suitable to all countries in all contexts, the specific design of a regulation scheme for China has to be elaborated with great rigor. The considerable investment needs in China's electric power grid and the recent experiences with RPI-X regulation in Germany should be taken into account.\n\nChina faces the primary challenge of having to increase security of supply. In addition, the potential that comes with smart grids can only be realized if there is an incentive for grid operators to invest into smart solutions (e. g. storage facilities or DSM). Thus, network regulation in China should specifically focus on incentives for security of supply and smart solutions. The application of rate-of-return adders for high priority projects for security of supply and for investment in smart solutions should be evaluated.\n\nThe recommended approach at a glance\n\n  * Regulating only the natural monopoly part of the electric power sector (transmission and distribution grids) improves the opportunities for market entry of new market actors, reduces misdirected incentives, and may increase quality of regulation.\n\n  * Network regulation should focus on setting efficient investment incentives balancing between network expansion and smart grid applications in an economically efficient way. Specifically, the application of rate-of-return adders for projects with a high priority for security of supply might be interesting for China. Furthermore, profit-sharing mechanisms or innovation bonuses could be applied to increase the diffusion of innovative technologies in China's electricity sector.\n\n## 5.4 Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade\n\nChinese context\n\n  * From 2010 to 2015, generation and grid capacities are planned to increase by roughly 50 % in order to cope with the steadily growing demand. Their further expansion beyond that point in time is inevitable.\n\n  * RES generation capacities are expected to increase out of proportion \u2013 their share in the electricity mix will increase significantly.\n\n  * Electricity grid expansion planning is currently organized in a top-down process with low transparency and little involvement of actors other than government authorities and grid operators.\n\n### 5.4.1 Background\n\nTowards a more decentralized system\n\nSo far, electric power grids have been designed to transport the electricity generated in central power stations (e. g. coal-fired power plants) to industrial or residential load centers. The subordinated distribution grids have only been used to redistribute the electricity towards end-consumers. Single distribution grids have been operated quite independently from those in other areas. In this setting, a coordination of the necessary grid expansion measures has been important mainly at the level of transmission grids.\n\nThe current developments towards more intermittent RES and actively involved end-consumers result in a more decentralized system with bidirectional flows of electricity and information. Massive investments in the power grid infrastructure have to be undertaken to cope with these developments, especially at the distribution grid level: in Germany for example, the investment needs in the distribution grid infrastructure are considerably higher than in the transmission grid infrastructure [21], [26] because roughly 97 % of RES in Germany are connected to the distribution grids [27]. A coordination of the necessary grid expansion measures is especially important at the level of distribution grids to facilitate an efficient allocation of investments and reduce economic inefficiencies as much as possible.\n\nFragmentation of interests\n\nUp to now, investments in generation capacities were made mainly by operators of large-scale centralized power plants, a situation that allows grid operators to collect information on where and when a new power plant is planned for construction rather easily. Network expansion planning was a task with a moderate complexity organized by grid operators, operators of large-scale centralized power plants, and coordinating government institutions.\n\nCurrently, the number and the heterogeneity of stakeholders with interests in network expansion planning increases:\n\n  * Investments into distributed RES are made by a larger number of more heterogeneous companies or even by private investors in many countries [28]. Therefore, advanced planning on how much new grid capacity need to be built in what area becomes more difficult for the network operators.\n\n  * The trend towards smart grids is associated with an increasing amount of new market actors with diverse interests. As the business models of new market actors often depend on available grid capacities, their interests are also relevant for long-term electricity network planning alongside the stakes of established market actors making the process of stakeholder consultation more complex. If the interests of stakeholders such as grid operators on different voltage levels, power plant operators, industrial consumers, representatives of small end-users, environmental groups, local governments and central government ministries are not coordinated effectively, network expansion risks being economically inefficient [29].\n\nAgainst this background, it becomes of vital importance to develop a long-term centrally coordinated NDP that includes plans and interests of all relevant market actors and network users at an early stage.\n\n### 5.4.2 International practice\n\nNetwork expansion planning in Europe\n\nThe EU requires each member state to develop a 10-year NDP currently focusing on transmission grid expansion but not distribution grid expansion [30]. Given the high investment and coordination needs on the distribution grid level, the non-coordination of distribution grid expansion unnecessarily inflates costs of network expansion. In Germany, a group of geographically adjacent DSO consequently started initiatives to coordinate distribution grid expansion planning [31].\n\nThe network development plans are based on several scenarios (three scenarios in the case of Germany) concerning the future development of RES and the corresponding electricity system in each member state. The national planning processes are accompanied by 10-year network development plans of the ENTSO-E. Starting in 2010, these plans are to be issued every two years. The main results of the version published in 2012 are:\n\n  * One third of investments planned in the first network development plan of 2010 are experiencing implementation delays owing to long approval processes.\n\n  * 52,300 km of extra high voltage transmission lines clustered in 100 projects have to be modernized or constructed, mainly due to bottlenecks related to RES integration.\n\n  * 20 megatons CO2 can be saved in the period up to 2022 due to further market integration in Europe.\n\n  * Extending the grid by about 1.3 % enables the addition of 3 % more generation capacities [32].\n\nNetwork expansion planning in Germany\n\nIn Germany, the rules for developing the national NDP are defined in \u00a7 12 EnWG and the NABEG. Figure 5.1 illustrates the different steps towards the network development plan in Germany. These are [33]:\n\nFig. 5.1\n\nProcess for the network development plan in Germany, adapted from [34]\n\n  * The starting point in the network development process is the scenario framework. It is drafted by the four German TSO and includes forecasts relating to the development of electricity generation, the shares of different generation technologies, and power consumption for the next ten years. To achieve a realistic forecast, three different scenarios based on different assumptions regarding the increase in generation capacities, RES expansion, and CO2 abatement are considered. The scenarios are submitted to BNetzA, which approves them after a public consultation process. During this process, distribution grid operators and other interested parties have the opportunity to comment on the different scenarios.\n\n  * The four TSO subsequently employ the approved scenarios for calculating network expansion requirements. Selecting the necessary expansion measures and assigning a timeframe (two to ten years depending on the respective project) for their realization leads to a first draft of the respective network development plan. BNetzA again assesses this first draft within a public consultation process. During this process, the drafted network development plan is published on a public website and can be commented from various stakeholders and citizens. The network development plan is then revised by the TSO and once again assessed by BNetzA. Furthermore, BNetzA conducts the environmental impact assessment.\n\n  * Based on the final version of the network development plan and the environmental impact report published at the same time, BNetzA has the responsibility to draft the so-called Federal Requirements Plan, which is finally brought in the parliamentary legislative procedure.\n\nWhile this process currently focuses on transmission grids only, it might serve as a best-practice example of how to organize the grid expansion planning on the distribution grid level as well.\n\nThe role of stakeholder platforms\n\nOne of the main goals of BMWi with respect to grid development is to involve new market actors in the strategic smart grid planning process. One prominent example of the ministry's activities is the Future-oriented Energy Grids Platform, which was founded in 2010. In February 2011, the platform was transformed into a permanent dialogue forum [35]. The platform involves all relevant parties of the electricity sector: grid operators, ICT-companies, environmental and consumer associations, research institutions, and representatives of several ministries and governmental institutions. One of the platform's main tasks is to discuss the draft documents of the network development plan. The platform is therefore an important instrument for the regulator to get feedback on NDP. Besides this task, the grid platform serves as a discussion platform for planning and approval procedures, the regulatory framework for investments into networks, grid connection of offshore wind farms, funding and testing of new technologies, development of smart meters, system stability, and applications of storage systems for network stability.\n\nFigure 5.2 shows the organizational structure of the platform. The plenary which adopts recommendations on actions is hosted by BMWi. The platform is subdivided in four different working groups, one of them directly responsible for smart grid issues. The different working groups provide consulting services for BMWi or other government institutions, make publicly available the results of their meetings, draft documents and recommendations, and support other publicly funded initiatives for smart grid development. The working group responsible for network development planning for example, proposed a joint grid connection process for offshore wind farms as well as an offshore master plan. In the meantime, both propositions have been included in NABEG [36].\n\nFig. 5.2\n\nStructure of the Future Oriented Energy Grids Platform, adapted from [35]\n\n### 5.4.3 Recommended approach for China\n\nChina faces a high need to expand the existing electricity network within the next few years. On both levels of the grid, transmission and distribution, this need is driven by growing consumer demand for electricity and the integration of RES. Supporting and guiding the formulation of a consistent and comprehensive concept regarding the set-up of China's future electric power grid is a key task for Chinese energy sector regulation. Government guidance is particularly important in the context of the build-up of RES generation capacities and smart grids both resulting in an increasing number of stakeholders involved in the electric power system.\n\nToday, there are no formalized institutions that acknowledge stakeholder interests in grid expansion planning in China. Therefore, stakeholder involvement currently focuses mainly on the grid operators, the government, and the China Electric Power Planning Institute. Other stakeholders are not integrated into the process in a formal way.\n\nThree aspects are especially important with respect to the coordination of network expansion in China:\n\n  * First, the institution that has the responsibility to supervise the network planning process should be specified. Experience in Germany illustrates that a government institution such as the regulator should take this responsibility. This has the primary advantage that results from the planning process can be transferred directly into the government policy-making process.\n\n  * Second, an evaluation should be made of which stakeholders are relevant for network expansion planning. Specifically, formal coordination between grid operators and power generation companies seems to be of great importance to align grid and generation capacity expansion processes. A platform such as the Future Oriented Energy Grids Platform in Germany has been proven effective in integrating new stakeholders in the strategic network development process. The evaluation of which stakeholders are relevant for network expansion planning could also happen within such a stakeholder platform.\n\n  * Third, it is beneficial to specify procedures for the development of network plans. In this context, China could take advantage of German experience with the network development planning process. Making mandatory a NDP for both transmission and distribution grids, including smart grids, helps to make network expansion as efficient as possible. Clear scenarios about the development of RES, the general electricity mix, and electricity demand in China are needed as a basis for the definition of a network development plan in China. Such scenarios could then serve as a common basis for the network development process in China. Stakeholder involvement should be a key element of this procedure because the number of stakeholders is likely to increase in the near future due to the importance of non-incumbent market actors for smart grids. These new stakeholders should be integrated into the strategic network development process in a formal way.\n\nThe recommended approach at a glance\n\n  * A stakeholder platform on the topic of the future electricity network involving all relevant market actors of the electricity sector (e. g. similar to the Future Oriented Energy Grids Platform in Germany) could help to evaluate which stakeholders are relevant for network expansion planning, support the network planning process, enhance mutual understanding among different stakeholders and provide recommendations to the government.\n\n  * Make mandatory a network development plan (NDP) for transmission and distribution grids, including a procedure for consulting the NDP with third parties and the public. The NDP should reflect fundamental government policy, future energy policy goals, smart grid goals as well as reliability and security issues. The regulator should supervise and confirm the final NDP, which is then signed into law by the legislature.\n\n## 5.5 Improve grid integration of RES\n\nChinese context\n\n  * Despite the fact that China has aggressively expanded solar and wind generation capacities since 2006, their shares in the electricity generation mix remain small. However, shares of both generation sources are planned to increase significantly according to government plans. Today, new market actors are only partly involved in the build-up of RES generation capacities.\n\n  * Within the existing regulatory framework a lack of sufficient incentives for grid integration of RES persists even though significant improvements have been made in recent years. A considerable number of wind farms is only connected to the electric power grid with delay.\n\n  * Often, wind farms can also not be connected due to the lack of a Low Voltage Ride Through Function. At the same time substantial quantities of wind power still have to be curtailed in order to increase grid stability.\n\n### 5.5.1 Background\n\nNew market actors require a physical connection to the power grid\n\nIn many countries, non-incumbent stakeholders have been investing in RES generation capacities and contributing to the increase of RES in the electricity mix: project developers, industrial and commercial companies, prosumers, and even venture capital and private equity companies [28]. These non-incumbent stakeholders need clearly defined conditions for the physical connection of RES installations to the power grid. Their RES plants need to be technically connected to the grid in such a manner that electricity generated from RES can be fed in. Without an equal and fair access, they abstain from investing in RES. As a result, a huge potential of capital resources for RES investment remains untapped.\n\nThe three elements of physical grid integration of RES\n\nGrid integration of RES, i. e. the issue of how effective, rapid, and fair the access of RES generation capacities to the electric power grid is organized, consists of three different aspects:\n\n  * Grid expansion, necessary due to the connection of RES, is a prerequisite for the large-scale integration of RES (compare Sects. 5.3 and 5.4).\n\n  * Grid connection of RES means technically interconnecting RES to the grid in such a manner that electricity generated from RES can be fed in.\n\n  * Specific grid operation issues with large amounts of RES implies assuring that the generated electricity has access to the grid so that it can be transported to end consumers [37].\n\nGrid connection\n\nImportant issues in many countries are so-called long lead times (e. g. delays). This subject groups all aspects associated with the time the investor of a renewable energy generation unit has to wait before connecting to the grid and feeding of electricity in the grid is allowed. Long lead times increase the financial risk for investors, creating less favorable credit conditions for them, and thus reducing the incentives for investments in RES.\n\nThe effectiveness of grid connection is also affected by how grid connection costs are distributed among the parties involved in the process. In this context, shallow or deep cost approaches can be applied:\n\n  * In a deep cost approach, the RES investors requesting connection not only cover the costs of grid connection but also further costs related to grid reinforcement and extension beyond the connection point (i. e. deeper into the network).\n\n  * In a shallow cost approach, the RES investor only pays for grid connection costs to the connection point, but not for reinforcement and extension costs. Generally, the deep cost approach creates higher costs and risks for the RES investor. It is therefore more often viewed as an obstacle to RES deployment [37].\n\nGrid operation\n\nIn countries with a low share of intermittent RES-E in the energy mix, grid operation is usually not adversely affected by RES installations. However, European countries like Germany or Denmark have made the experience that, with a share of approximately 10 % to 20 % of intermittent RES-E, grid operation becomes more and more difficult because regional feed-in often exceeds regional loads and the grids do not have sufficient capacities to absorb and transport the complete surplus of RES-E. One straight-forward remedy for these situations is to expand grid capacities. However, curtailing specific RES generators in times of peak production might be economically more interesting: a study suggests that curtailing only 2 % of the annual electricity production from RES (in times of peak production) could reduce infrastructure investments by 10 % between now and 2030 [26].\n\nGrid curtailment is currently a critical issue in a number of European countries, especially due to the lack of specific curtailment rules and compensation issues [37]. Clear and well-defined grid codes for the interconnection of RES on all grid and voltage levels are a decisive factor to ease grid operation with RES [38]. These rules define the interaction of RES and the electric power grid in terms of grid operation. This also includes the handling of congestions and disturbances.\n\nThe ICT-integration of RES\n\nRES integration issues go beyond the physical connection of RES to the power grid. The basic idea of smart grids is to make all generators and consumers of electricity monitorable and in part remotely controllable by means of ICT. Only if RES plants are remotely controllable, RES generation can be coordinated with grid capacities at any time. In this light, the equipment of RES with communication interfaces is an essential part of smart grids. Also with respect to an economically efficient grid curtailment of RES, the capability of grid operators to monitor and control installations remotely is necessary.\n\nEspecially distributed RES (e. g. small rooftop PV installations or single wind turbines) are currently only rarely equipped with technology allowing the grid operator to remotely monitor or control the installations. Given that owners of RES, especially those of small-scale RES, have usually few incentives in investing in communication interfaces, the widespread deployment and usage of such interfaces depends on appropriate regulatory guidance.\n\n### 5.5.2 International practice\n\nThe European perspective\n\nIn its Directive 2001\/77\/EC2 [39], the EU laid down a common regulatory basis for the promotion of electricity generated from RES and a framework for the integration of RES into the grid [40]. Paragraphs 1\u20133 of article 7 contain general references to grid connection and operation issues demanding that EU member states\n\n> take the necessary measures to ensure that transmission system operators and DSOs in their territory guarantee the transmission and distribution of electricity produced from renewable energy sources.\n\nAlso, the directive proposes priority access to the grid for electricity from RES and favors a cost-sharing of grid expansion measures between grid operators and RES operators to pure deep cost and pure shallow costs approaches [39].\n\nPublished eight years later, Directive 2009\/28\/EC3 further regulates grid connection and operation issues. In paragraphs 2\u20134 of article 16, the EU makes a clear case for priority access for electricity from RES. The Directive recommends that such electricity be fed in with priority, that grid curtailment measures for RES be minimized and justified by the regulator, and that grid expansion costs related to renewable energies be transparent and born in full or in part by the grid operators.\n\nSince 2009, ENTSO-E has been working on a network code for grid connection requirements which aims at\n\n> setting out clear and objective requirements for generators for grid connection in order to contribute to non-discrimination, effective competition and the efficient functioning of the internal electricity market and to ensure system security [41].\n\nThe network code\n\n> defines a common set of requirements for power generation facilities, including synchronous generation units, power park modules and offshore generation facilities, to be connected to the network and sets up a common framework for grid connection agreements between grid operators and the power generation facility operators [41].\n\nIn defining these requirements, the network code clearly reduces conflicts between RES investors and grid operators and contributes to a better communication between them and to shorter lead times in RES connection as a result of more standardized procedures.\n\nGrid connection of RES in Germany\n\nPart 2, chapters 1\u20133 of the EEG contain regulations that are of critical importance with respect to the effectiveness of grid connection in Germany:\n\n  * Chapter 1 section 5 emphasizes that grid operators must immediately and as a priority connect all RES to the grid even if this connection necessitates optimizing, boosting, or expanding the grid.\n\n  * Paragraph 1 contains a definition of the so-called grid connection point. It is the point in the electricity grid which is at the nearest linear distance from the location of the RES installation. The generation capacity of the RES unit to be connected determines the voltage level of the nearest grid connection point.\n\n  * The responsibility of building a connection between the RES installation and the grid connection point is assigned to the grid operator. However, the costs for building this direct connection are passed on to the RES investor as specified in chapter 3, section 13, and paragraph 1 of the EEG. Note that due to the rather close meshed electricity grids in Germany, the distances between the installations and the grid connection points are often rather short. Thus, connection costs to be paid by the RES investors are rather low in Germany.\n\n  * As specified in chapter 3, section 14, however, the share of the costs within the entire electric power grid that is related to optimizing, boosting, and expanding the grid system is allocated to the grid operator (shallow cost approach). This cost-sharing mechanism prevents the investors in RES projects from installing capacities at great distances from the existing power grid, as they are the ones who have to cover the costs for the direct line to the nearest connection point.\n\n  * Chapter 2, section 9 specifies further that the grid operator can only be forced to optimize or expand the electricity grid if this is not economically unreasonable.\n\nEEG \u2013 Paragraphs 1\u20134 of Part 2, Chapter 1, Section 5\n\n  * Grid system operators shall immediately and as a priority connect installations generating electricity from renewable energy sources and from mine gas to that point in their grid system (grid connection point) which is suitable in terms of the voltage and which is at the shortest linear distance from the location of the installation if no other grid system has a technically and economically more favorable grid connection point. [...]\n\n  * Installation operators shall be entitled to choose another grid connection point in this grid system or in another grid system which is suitable with regard to the voltage.\n\n  * In derogation of subsections (1) and (2) above, the grid system operator shall be entitled to assign the installation a different grid connection point. This shall not apply where the purchase of electricity from the installation concerned would not be guaranteed in accordance with section 8(1).\n\n  * The obligation to connect the installation to the grid system shall also apply where the purchase of the electricity is only made possible by optimizing, boosting or expanding the grid system in accordance with section 9.\n\nSource: Wording from the BMUB [62]\n\nThe combination of a shallow cost approach and an obligation to connect RES with priority is one important factor with regard to grid connection in Germany. Another important element of the EEG (with regard to grid connection) is the definition of what happens if the grid operator fails to connect RES. Part 2, chapter 1, section 10 of the EEG is based on the notion that grid connection rules can be effective only if non-compliance of the grid operator leads to financial losses.\n\nEEG \u2013 Paragraphs 1\u20132 of Part 2, Chapter 1, Section 10\n\n  * In the event that the grid system operator violates his obligations under section 9(1), those interested in feeding in electricity may demand compensation for the damage incurred. The liability to pay compensation shall not apply if the grid system operator was not responsible for the violation of the obligation.\n\n  * Where there are facts to substantiate the assumption that the grid system operator did not fulfill his obligation under section 9(1), installation operators may require the grid system operator to submit information concerning whether and to what extent the grid system operator did not meet his obligation to optimize, boost and expand his grid system. This information may be withheld if it is not necessary in order to establish whether the entitlement in accordance with subsection (1) above exists.\n\nSource: Wording from the BMUB [62]\n\nGrid operation in the presence of RES at the German level\n\nIn spite of the increasing share of electricity from wind and PV power, Germany's electric power grids are still among the most secure and reliable grids worldwide. Germany has made the experience that effective grid curtailment rules are necessary to sustain reliability and security of supply in times of rising feed-in from RES. To allow for an effective grid operation in spite of the presence of RES, the EEG distinguishes between normal and critical grid conditions:5\n\n  * In normal grid conditions, electricity produced in RES installations has to be fed in at any time \u2013 irrespective of electricity consumption. This is regulated in part 2, chapter 1, section 8 of the EEG, which states that \"[transmission] grid system operators shall immediately and as a priority purchase, transmit and distribute the entire available quantity of electricity from renewable energy sources\".\n\n  * During critical grid conditions, however, grid operators are allowed to curtail electricity from RES by taking technical control over installations connected to their grid system. Part 2, chapter 2, section 6 of the EEG specifies that all RES plants have to be equipped with a communication interface allowing the grid operator to take over technical control over installations or to limit their effective capacity to 70 % of the installed capacity instead. Those RES with a capacity exceeding 100 kW have to be unconditionally enhanced with a communication interface allowing the grid operator to remotely monitor the electricity feed-in in real time and to remotely control installations. To prevent a misuse of grid curtailment, grid operators are obliged to immediately report such measures to the BNetzA. This grid curtailment of RES is not to the detriment of RES investors because they receive equivalent compensations to the extent that they incur no financial losses as a result of the grid curtailment (see appendix E for extracts from EEG, chapter 2, part 2, sections 11 and 12.).\n\nEEG \u2013 Paragraphs 1\u20132 of Part 2, Chapter 1, Section 6\n\n  * Installation operators and operators of CHP installations shall provide installations with an installed capacity exceeding100 kilowatts with technical facilities with which the grid system operator can, at any time:\n\n1.\n\nreduce output by remote means in the event of grid overload; and\n\n2.\n\ncall up the current electricity feed-in at any given point in time.\n\n  * Operators of installations generating electricity from solar radiation:\n\n1.\n\nwith an installed capacity between 30 kilowatts and 100 kilowatts shall fulfil the obligation pursuant to subsection (1) no. 1 above;\n\n2.\n\nwith a maximum installed capacity of 30 kilowatts shall:\n\na)\n\nfulfil the obligation pursuant to subsection (1) no. 1 above; or\n\nb)\n\nlimit the maximum effective capacity fed in at the grid connection point with the grid system to 70 percent of the installed capacity.\n\nSource: Wording from the BMUB [62]\n\nEnsuring compliance with the EEG regulation\n\nWell specified laws alone might not be sufficient to ensure an effective grid integration of RES if there is no institution with a distinct judiciary function to monitor compliance with the rules and settle any dispute between grid operators and power plant owners. In this light, BMUB commissioned and funded the so-called Clearingstelle EEG in 2007. Since then the Clearingstelle EEG serves as a neutral and independent institution with the intention to settle any dispute between grid operators and power plant owners with regard to topics surrounding EEG. The staff of the Clearingstelle EEG consists of an interdisciplinary team of lawyers and engineers with expertise in the field of renewable energies [42].\n\nThe general idea is that ordinary courts settle potential disputes rather through costly and time consuming litigation while the Clearingstelle EEG can offer alternative dispute resolution options such as\n\n  * mediation,\n\n  * joint dispute resolution, and\n\n  * arbitration [42].\n\nIn addition, the Clearingstelle EEG reports the results of past legal disputes such that a high transparency on the jurisdiction exists among grid operators and plant owners. In sum, the Clearingstelle EEG clearly contributes to a high compliance with the EEG regulation in Germany.6\n\n### 5.5.3 Recommended approach for China\n\nThe physical grid integration of RES in China currently lacks efficiency. This refers to both grid connection and grid operation. Specifically, a considerable part of wind power is currently being curtailed. There is also evidence that only a very small part of investments are being made by non-incumbent players in China: investments from venture capital and private equity companies for example, are quite low compared to many other countries [28]. For the government's ambitious RES expansion targets to be achieved and in order to incentivize new market actors to invest in RES, the physical grid integration of RES has to become more effective.\n\nTransparency and a clear division of responsibilities between grid operators and RES investors would encourage the deployment of RES and incentivize new market actors to invest in RES. The following recommendations are made based on best practices from Europe and especially Germany:\n\n  * The grid operator is a monopolistic company with special responsibility. He has to define clear, transparent, and technically sound grid codes for the integration of generation units at all voltage levels. These codes have to be defined properly and made binding.\n\n  * For an efficient and fast connection, grid connection points have to be defined properly for all kinds of RES on all voltage levels of the grid. RES need to be assigned a grid connection point on request, so that the interconnection point can be installed without delay and according to well-defined technical standards.\n\n  * Grid operators have to bear liability for the grid connection of RES. This is very important, because liability puts a high priority on the establishment of the grid connection and avoids delays on the grid operator's side. In this context, definition of financial incentives (e. g. in form of penalties) is an effective measure to quicken the grid connection process and to reduce the risk for RES investors.\n\nThe same arguments which hold for the grid connection are equally valid for grid operation issues. To ensure grid stability, it is necessary to curtail RES in times of critical grid conditions. To provide transparent procedures to the RES operators, detailed processes for curtailment of RES (including documentation, transparency rules, timeframes, involved parties, etc.) have to be defined and the requirements for information exchange within these measures have to be specified. To ensure an economically efficient grid curtailment, the installation of communication interfaces at RES installations should be promoted by appropriate regulation (such as part 2, chapter 1, section 6 of EEG in Germany). Moreover, it is important that grid curtailment of RES only takes place if this is urgently needed to stabilize grid operation and that the compensation to the RES investor is calculated transparently.\n\nThe experiences from Germany further show that the establishment of an independent institution offering mediation, joint dispute resolution, and arbitration services contributes to a high compliance with the regulation.\n\nThe recommended approach at a glance\n\n  * Grid connection points and binding grid codes specifying respective responsibilities of grid operators and power generators have to be defined.\n\n  * Grid operators have to bear liability regarding the grid connection of RES.\n\n  * Binding procedures for curtailment of RES have to be defined. To ensure an economically efficient grid curtailment, the installation of communication interfaces at RES installations should be promoted by appropriate regulation.\n\n  * An institution offering mediation, joint dispute resolution, and arbitration services in the context of grid connection issues should be assigned.\n\n## 5.6 Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption\n\nChinese context\n\n  * Due to the high share of industrial load, China's overall electricity load curve is currently rather flat. In the future, China's electricity generation might become considerably more fluctuating owing to the further build-up of RES generation capacities planned by the government. In addition, shares of more intermittent residential and commercial electricity consumption are expected to increase. Both factors will lead to regionally higher load variability in China.\n\n  * Higher load variability necessitates a more effective coordination of electricity generation and consumption. Specifically, with growing shares of intermittent RES it will become indispensable that electricity consumption will be, at least partly, able to follow electricity generation. This necessitates the use of economic incentives as well as sophisticated technologies facilitating the coordination of electricity generation and consumption. All types of consumers, i. e. industrial, commercial, and residential, have to be involved in these activities.\n\n  * Time-of-use pricing (i. e. electricity prices depending on the time when electricity is provided) aims at incentivizing electricity consumers to shift their consumption according to generation and grid capacities. It has gradually been introduced in China to all categories of users except residential consumers and irrigational users. The Chinese government recently announced that it would introduce time-of-use pricing also for residential consumers by the end of 2015. While this is certainly a step in the right direction, it is still questionable whether the present tariff system offers sufficient price incentives for a pronounced intraday shifting of power demand.\n\n### 5.6.1 Background\n\nPeak shaving and residual peak load shaving\n\nThe balancing of generation and consumption of electricity is of crucial importance for the stable operation of electric power systems. In a power system with 100 % generation from large central (bulk) power plants, electricity generation follows the load. Sometimes, peak loads may cause shortages on the generation side. Peak shaving, i. e. reducing the electrical power consumption during periods of maximum electricity demand, is then an important factor to stabilize system operation. In power systems with a high share of RES, however, the motivation for peak shaving changes somewhat: in such power systems, the residual load, i. e. the difference between load and renewable generation, is highly volatile due to the intermittent nature of renewable generation. In these cases, large central power plants, usually conventional fossil fuel-driven power plants, have to cover the residual load \u2013 also known as residual peak load shaving (or residual load balancing).\n\nBalancing mechanisms and technologies like demand side management (DSM), supply side management (SSM), microgrids, virtual power plants (VPP), and energy storage can be employed to facilitate the coordination of electricity generation and consumption. All these mechanisms and technologies require an ICT infrastructure for measurement, control, and billing of various loads and\/or generation units at local, regional, or distributed sites.\n\nDemand side management\n\nDSM is an important mechanism for peak shaving and residual peak shaving for different types of loads. DSM means incentivizing electricity consumers to adapt their consumption to the availability of electricity generation. Principally, the loads can be influenced by means of two different mechanisms: on the one hand, end customers can react manually to suitable incentives such as price signals. On the other hand, automated load control is conceivable for devices where deferred use and a modulated operation mode entail no loss of comfort, economic consequences, or other restrictions in everyday household\/business life (dispensable loads). With respect to the potential of DSM on low voltage level, the necessary IT infrastructure and the relation between DSM and AMI have been discussed widely [43].\n\nSupply side management\n\nSupply side management (SSM) works similarly to DSM but refers to local or distributed generation facilities. SSM means incentivizing electricity producers to adapt their generation to the demand of electricity. The generation units are typically small-scale residential units like CHP plants or larger CHP units located at industrial facilities.\n\nVirtual power plants\n\nVirtual power plants (VPP) aggregate power generation, storage, or consumption units into one balancing unit by means of ICT metering and control technologies. These units may be spread out over the grid and belong to separate owners. VPP are especially useful in the context of electricity markets: the VPP operator controls or manages the operation of the generation units to follow a joint schedule or to offer balancing power to the system operators.\n\nMicrogrids\n\nMicrogrids are a specific solution to manage the intermittent character of RES on a regional level. They are grid areas in which generation from local RES or other distributed generation and consumption is balanced by local control mechanisms by means of information exchange between the devices through local ICT. As such, the higher-level distribution grid to which the microgrid is connected is not necessarily and immediately exposed to the intermittence of RES connected to the microgrid. Island grids without any connections to distribution grids are an extreme form of this approach. Note that microgrids are geographically connected grid regions, while VPP are virtually aggregated units which are distributed throughout larger grid areas.\n\nEnergy storage\n\nRequirements for power storage differ according to field of application. Some storage technologies are used to balance fluctuations within a very short timeframe (e. g. some milliseconds) and others are used for longer timeframes (e. g. days or weeks):\n\n  * Hydrogen generated by means of electrolysis can be used to store electric power for timeframes lasting up to several months.\n\n  * Pumped-storage and compressed air energy storage power stations are suitable for an intraday balancing of generation and consumption. On a global level, pumped-storage power plants are the most important technology to store electric power.\n\n  * Electrochemical storage mediums like batteries are employed to store electricity for timeframes ranging from one hour to several days.\n\n  * Centrifugal mass storage, super caps, and superconductive inductors can be charged and unloaded within an extremely short timeframe. They are used for grid stabilization services and voltage maintenance [44].\n\nBarriers to the development of balancing mechanisms and technologies\n\nThere are many different barriers to the development of balancing mechanisms and technologies as described above. The elimination of such barriers calls for suitable regulatory measures. In principal, these barriers can be classified into three different categories [45]:\n\n  * Technological barriers refer to the fact that the maturity of some technologies that might be important for the balancing of generation and consumption is still rather low [46]. Electrochemical storage mediums such as batteries, for example, are in many cases still too expensive to be used in a widespread manner [44].\n\n  * Economic barriers exist, because for many stakeholders in the electricity sector the costs of investing in balancing mechanisms and technologies are still higher than the benefits. For potential investors, especially for small-sized third parties, the administrative overhead and the necessary investments in ICT for controlling, balancing, and billing are relatively high. Many of them consequently refrain from investing in balancing technologies. Specifically, there are many open questions related to billing, balancing, and accounting, in the case that several market actors coordinate power generation and load for different business purposes.\n\n  * Institutional barriers may arise if new technologies have to adapt to practices and codes developed in a context in which these new technologies were not yet known. For example, microgrids require specific connection codes that are different from small conventional distribution grids. The costs of deploying such balancing mechanisms and technologies critically depend on connection codes, legal reporting obligations, and application processes [45].\n\n### 5.6.2 International practice\n\nReducing technological barriers\n\nIn order to promote the development of technologies and business models to balance electricity generation and consumption, government-supported R&D programs are of fundamental importance (Germany's R&D program E-Energy is presented in Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b6). Many countries have established funding schemes to reduce existing technological barriers:\n\n  * The United States for example, claim to invest at least $3 billion into smart grid projects [47]. Specifically, they have funded two important R&D programs for microgrid and DSM demonstration projects run by the United States Department of Defense (USDOD) and the United States Department of Energy (USDOE). The USDOD provided $38.5 million for three different military base microgrid demonstrations, with a focus on reliability and energy security [45]. The USDOE spent over $50 million for nine projects having the concrete goal of achieving a 15 % peak load reduction in the local distribution feeder [45].\n\n  * In recent years, the EU has also invested significant amounts in smart grid-related R&D and devoted several major research efforts exclusively to DSM, SSM, VPP, microgrids, and energy storage. One promising example is the Future Internet for Smart Energy (FINSENY) project which was conducted as part of the private public partnership Future Internet from 2010 to 2013.7\n\nIn the United States and in Europe, the experience was made that two factors are especially important with respect to the success of R&D funding (cf. e. g. [45]):\n\n  * Clear targets on what should be achieved by means of the research program have to be defined in advance by the funding organization. Only if such targets exist can the success of the research project be measured and controlled during and after the project.\n\n  * The recipient of R&D subsidies often has to co-finance the research program with its own capital. Financial participation is an important additional incentive to ensure that the recipient of the subsidies will efficiently and effectively carry out the research project.\n\nReducing economic barriers\n\nAll regulatory approaches aiming at decreasing investment costs in balancing mechanisms or technologies or increasing profits related to their usage can be seen as an effective measure to promote their development:\n\n  * A possible solution aiming at reducing investment costs is to directly subsidize the usage of balancing mechanisms or technologies. To promote electricity storage, for example, the German government recently established a co-funding scheme for electric battery storages newly installed in private houses in combination with PV. The purpose of this measure is to promote local consumption of electricity generated by PV, thereby limiting the PV feed-in to the distribution grid.\n\n  * Time-of-use pricing is an important option to increase profits related to the usage of DSM, SSM, and energy storage. The higher the price differences between peak and base load prices, the higher the rate of return of DSM, SSM, and energy storage.\n\n  * The attractiveness of microgrids critically depends on the difference of electricity generation costs within the microgrid and general retail prices for electricity. If a microgrid is able to produce its own electricity, consumers within the microgrid are independent from general electricity retail prices. However, it is only if general retail prices for electricity are higher than electricity generation costs within the microgrid that investments in these technologies might be potentially amortized after some years. In this light, increasing electricity retail tariffs can be seen as an important driver for investments in microgrids. Depending on the regulatory environment, microgrid operators might also be able to export the electricity to the distribution grid. In this case, the question to be asked is whether the operators receive payments for the electricity they export and what rate these payments depend on: wholesale, retail, or potentially a feed-in tariff. Feed-in tariffs that are higher than the general retail price for electricity and higher than electricity generation costs inside the microgrid can be seen as an effective measure to promote the development of microgrids [48].\n\nReducing institutional barriers\n\nStandards for regulating the general grid connection of RES are common in most countries. Like Europe, the United States, for example, have a standard for grid connection: IEEE 1547 was established in 2003. These standards often do not contain specific rules for VPP or microgrids. However, some countries have started to issue special regulation for VPP and\/or microgrids:\n\n  * To ease the grid connection of microgrids, the United States issued IEEE 1547.4: Guide for Design, Operation, and Integration of Distributed Resource Island Systems with Electric Power Systems. This standard presents alternative approaches and good practices for the design and operation of microgrids and their integration with distribution grids. For instance, this includes the ability to separate from and reconnect to the distribution grid while providing power to the islanded microgrid. The IEEE 1547.4 standard is currently gaining approval on the international level.\n\n  * Another example of institutional barriers for microgrids being reduced is Germany, where microgrid operators have been relieved of several legal requirements that have applied to distribution grid operators in Germany since 2005. Special rules applying to so-called site networks have been introduced by EnWG for grids covering campuses and enterprises. Such site networks can be designed as microgrids. For example, operators of site networks are not subject to the general connection obligation (\u00a7 18 EnWG): they are permitted to publish less reports on grid conditions (\u00a7 14b EnWG), have less monitoring obligations (\u00a7 35 EnWG), and less obligations to report service disruptions (\u00a7 52 EnWG).\n\n### 5.6.3 Recommended approach for China\n\nThe key driver for the usage of balancing mechanisms and technologies in China is peak shaving due to the high growth rate of power consumption. The balancing mechanisms and technologies described above, especially DSM and energy storage, will contribute to a more effective peak shaving and to an improved utilization rate of the grid infrastructure. In the long term, residual peak shaving \u2013 necessary due to the increasing expansion of RES generation capacities \u2013 will be an additional aspect in China. Balancing mechanisms and technologies like SSM, VPP, and microgrids will become more important in this context.\n\nIn 2011, more than 70 % of China's electricity was consumed by the industrial sector [49]. In general, the technical potential for peak shaving in this sector is comparatively high and can be realized with dedicated ICT solutions. Usually, the potential for peak shaving is smaller and more distributed in the commercial sector and especially in the residential sector. ICT requirements and costs of implementing balancing mechanisms and technologies in these sectors are therefore comparatively higher. In this light, balancing between generation and consumption in China should be optimized with a focus on industrial and commercial consumers in the short- to medium-term and on residential consumers in the long term.\n\nWith this general background in mind, several specific policies may foster the development and usage of specific balancing mechanisms and technologies:\n\n  * Time-of-use pricing to incentivize the usage of DSM and energy storage: Time-of-use pricing has gradually been introduced to all categories of users except residential consumers and irrigational users. With regard to commercial and industrial consumers, China already has a very high time-of-use adoption rate, with roughly two thirds of large-scale customers using time-based electricity tariffs [50]. Even if the difference between peak and off-peak prices has increased in recent times, it is still questionable whether the current tariff system offers sufficient incentives for a pronounced intraday shifting of power demand [51]. The Chinese government recently announced that it would also introduce time-of-use pricing for residential consumers by the end of 2015 [50]. In designing this new tariff system, sufficient differences between peak and off-peak prices have to be considered as a key success factor. The same key success factor applies to time-of-use pricing in non-residential sectors.\n\n  * Additional R&D funds for SSM, VPP, microgrid, and energy storage demonstration projects: To help abolish technological barriers, the Chinese government has decided to promote the development of different balancing mechanisms and technologies and it has already started to foster R&D in these areas. From an institutional point of view, the NEA has played the most active role in promoting balancing mechanisms [45]. Other institutions that are interested in the promotion of such technologies are the NDRC, the Ministry of Housing and Urban Rural Development, and the MOF [45]. However, the pertinent research has just started in China and consequently needs to be intensified in the future to catch up with international best practice technologies. Thus, additional R&D funds should be set up for SSM, VPP, microgrid, or energy storage demonstration projects. In this context, it is specifically important to set up concrete performance targets for funded demonstration projects and require a co-financing of the subsidies' recipients.\n\n  * Feed-in tariffs and interconnection standards for microgrids: compared to European countries and many other countries, retail prices for electricity are very low in China. As a consequence, prices for locally generated electricity (e. g. in microgrids) are often significantly higher than local retail prices for electricity. This has already led individual investors to abandon microgrids demonstration projects [46]. However, increasing electricity retail prices to promote the development of microgrids would directly contrast one of China's primary energy policy goals: affordable retail prices. Therefore, feed-in tariffs for local RES or microgrids could be an option to incentivize investments in microgrids. Also, interconnection standards for microgrids (such as IEEE 1547.4), currently not existing in China, should be issued and made legally binding.\n\nThe recommended approach at a glance\n\n  * Coordination between generation and consumption should be optimized with a focus on industrial and commercial consumers in the short- to medium-term and on residential consumers in the long term.\n\n  * Peak shaving is of crucial importance in the short to medium term. To promote peak shaving, it is specifically recommended to refine time-of-use pricing in China in order to set sufficient incentives (by means of high differences between peak and off-peak prices) for investments in DSM and energy storage for all categories of consumers.\n\n  * Residual peak shaving is relevant in the long term. Additional R&D funds for SSM, VPP, and microgrids as well as interconnection standards and feed-in tariffs specifically for microgrids can be employed to reduce technological, economic, and institutional barriers to the development of SSM, VPP, and microgrids.\n\n## 5.7 Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids\n\nChinese context\n\n  * Due to the different strategies of China's grid operators with regard to smart grid development and the fact that the Chinese government has not yet publicly defined its view on smart grids, there is still no unanimously accepted vision on the technological and organizational design of smart grids in China. As a result, there is much uncertainty among potential smart grid investors regarding the future development.\n\n  * The diversity of stakeholders interested in standardization in China has increased in recent years: in addition to the central government, research institutes, universities, civilian and defense industries, and regional governments, all have their own interests with regard to standardization and are increasingly willing to contribute to the standardization process [63].\n\n### 5.7.1 Background\n\nSmart grids require a common understanding of all stakeholders\n\nSmart grids represent a concept aiming at the integration of information and communication among market actors from various sectors as well as a multitude of power system components. In a smart grid, data on the grid status is exchanged as well as data related to services, products, and reporting obligations. A key challenge of smart grids is to integrate its different components and ensure that they can communicate with the help of ICT. The definition of common standards for interfaces and communication protocols is therefore of utmost importance in order to ensure interoperability and a smooth exchange of information between the different elements of a smart grid. The costs of connecting smart grid technologies through ICT (integration costs) significantly affect the overall costs of deploying smart grid technologies and are thus one key success factor for smart grids. A prerequisite for reducing integration costs is a unified view on smart grid technologies, business processes, and procedures. Furthermore, smart grid-related technologies, products, and services can only be developed by the variety of stakeholders in a cost-efficient manner if requirements for smart grid solutions are accepted by all smart grid stakeholders.\n\nStandardization as a means to create a common understanding\n\nStandardization can serve to create a common understanding between participating stakeholders, thus increasing interoperability, and reducing smart grid integration costs. According to the German Institute for Standardization (DIN), standardization usually has at least five major goals:\n\n  * securing the competiveness of domestic industries in the international context of a broad ensemble of diverging technologies and procedures,\n\n  * providing a strategic instrument to foster economic and social success,\n\n  * supporting and relieving government regulation,\n\n  * fostering technological convergence, and\n\n  * creating efficient processes and instruments [52].\n\nThese goals illustrate that the current scope of standardization goes well beyond the integration of two or more individual systems. The following aspects should be focused on in the context of smart grid-related standardization issues:\n\n  * How can the development of standards support the common understanding of future smart grids?\n\n  * How can the process of national and international standardization be optimized for faster time to markets of necessary standards?\n\n  * How can the heterogeneous requirements and viewpoints of different stakeholders with regard to smart grid architecture be expressed?\n\nThe government's role in promoting standardization\n\nIn some cases, governments are quite actively involved in standardization processes. By issuing laws and regulations providing minimum standards for certain goods, services, or technologies, governments are even able to legally enforce standards. In many cases, however, standardization is mainly pushed forward by the private industry in cooperation with accredited standards developing organizations (SDO).8 Note that, due to the involvement of many different stakeholders in SDO, a high level of coordination between the various stakeholders is necessary.\n\nEven if standardization is left to the private sector, many governments acknowledge its importance in today's quickly developing technological environment. In 2009, for instance, the German government issued a Standardization Policy Concept of the Federal Government [53]. This policy paper presents the goals and expectations of the government with regard to standardization as well as specific measures of different ministries. In general, governments have many options to influence standardization, and consequently they play an important role in this context. To give just a few examples, possible governmental measures to promote standardization are:\n\n  * hosting conferences and symposia on standardization issues,\n\n  * strengthening the role and (financial) power of SDO,\n\n  * actively participating in the work of SDO, and\n\n  * considering standardization issues in the educational system [53].\n\n### 5.7.2 International practice\n\nEuropean Mandate M\/490\n\nThe EU specifically acknowledges the importance of standardization in smart grids: the European Commission issued the European Mandate M\/490 with the intention to promote the development of a unified and commonly accepted view on smart grids to increase interoperability and reduce integration costs. To execute Mandate M\/490, the Smart Grid Coordination Group (SG-CG) was founded by the major European standardization organizations European Committee for Standardization (CEN), European Committee for Electrotechnical Organization (CENELEC), and European Telecommunications Standards Institute (ETSI). All of them are mirror-organizations of the main international standardization organizations International Organization for Standardization (ISO), International Electrotechnical Commission (IEC), and International Telecommunication Union (ITU).\n\nScope and objective of Mandate M\/490\n\n\"The challenge of Smart Grids deployment will require changes to existing standards, industry rules and processes.\n\nThis mandate is to address such a challenge in the field of standardization. The expected long term duration of Smart Grid deployment suggests the need for a framework that is:\n\n  * Comprehensive and integrated enough to embrace the whole variety of Smart Grid actors and ensure communications between them\n\n  * In-depth enough to guarantee interoperability of Smart Grids from basic connectivity to complex distributed business applications, including a unified set of definitions so that all Members States have a common understanding of the various components of the Smart Grid.\n\n  * Flexible and fast enough to take advantage of the existing telecommunications infrastructure and services as well as the emergence of new technologies while enhancing competitiveness of the markets.\n\n  * Flexible enough to accommodate some differences between EU Member States approaches to Smart Grids deployment [...].\n\nThe expected framework will consist of the following deliverables:\n\n  * A technical reference architecture, which will represent the functional information data flows between the main domains and integrate many systems and subsystems architectures.\n\n  * A set of consistent standards, which will support the information exchange (communication protocols and data models) and the integration of all users into the electric system operation.\n\n  * Sustainable standardization processes and collaborative tools to enable stakeholder interactions, to improve the two above and adapt them to new requirements based on gap analysis, while ensuring the fit to high level system constraints such as interoperability, security, and privacy, etc.\"\n\nSource: Wording from the European Commission [65]\n\nOrganizational aspects of Mandate M\/490\n\nThe SG-CG consists of four working groups that are synchronized with those of mandates M\/441 (smart metering) and M\/468 (electric mobility). The following four working groups are organized under a joint steering committee (see Fig. 5.3):\n\nFig. 5.3\n\nOrganizational structure of M\/490 SG-CG, taken from [55]\n\n  * First Set of Standards (WG FSS): Responsible for compiling a consistent set of smart grid standards based on existing standards by applying the concepts and processes from the other working groups.\n\n  * Reference Architecture (WG RA): Responsible for the design of a technical reference architecture to be used in the other groups in order to consistently and comprehensively describe smart grids. The technical reference architecture can be thought of as a map showing the boundaries as well as different areas of smart grids. It can be used to increase the understanding of who does what with whom in which manner in smart grids.\n\n  * Sustainable Processes (WG SP): Responsible for the design of processes for the identification and application of smart grid use cases. In the smart grid context, use cases describe specific smart grid applications and define the important actors, systems and technologies and their requirements and functions contributing to the development of a common understanding of smart grids [54]. Use cases are neutral with regard to specific projects, products, and vendors and can also be applied within a gap analysis revealing the need for future smart grid standardization.\n\n  * Smart Grid Information Security (WG SGIS): Responsible for identifying the guidelines to achieve information security and privacy in the context of the application of current smart grid standards.\n\nMain results of European Mandate M\/490\n\nAs it provides the structure referenced in the results of the other SG-CG working groups, the so-called Smart Grid Architecture Model (SGAM), a technical reference architecture developed within WG RA, can be described as the first deliverable of the Mandate M\/490. SGAM (see Fig. 5.4) is a three-dimensional model of the European smart grid environment. It distinguishes between physical domains (generation, transmission, distribution, distributed energy resources, and customer premises), management zones (process, field, station, operation, enterprise, and market) and interoperability dimensions (component, communication, information, function, business).\n\nFig. 5.4\n\nSGAM \u2013 The Smart Grid Architecture Model, taken from [56]\n\nThe different interoperability dimensions are based on the GridWise Architecture Council's (GWAC) Inter-operability Context-Setting Framework [57]: the component layer represents the physical\/technical aspect of the system and is therefore used to model physical equipment and infrastructure. The communication layer further specifies protocols and procedures of data exchanges between the components, while the information layer outlines the information models used in the context of the components and information exchange. Above these solution-oriented dimensions, the function layer specifies the logical and thus technology-independent viewpoint in terms of the functions and services realized by the implementation, while the business layer finally represents the objectives as well as regulatory and legal requirements connected to these functions.\n\nWG SP applied the SGAM to identify smart grid use cases. The use case methodology is widely based on the Publicly Available Specification (PAS) IEC 62559 and includes a template for the unified description of use cases as well as a process to identify and manage use cases (subject to standardization as IEC 62559). WG FSS compiled a smart grid standards list based on SGAM and the smart grid use cases. The list structures the multitude of standards within a common framework reducing the complexity of the standardization landscape. Users of the list may search for appropriate smart grid standards based on their classification by domains, zones and layers (see appendix F for further information on the work of WG SP and WG SGIS as well as the next steps of Mandate M\/490).\n\n### 5.7.3 Recommended approach for China\n\nThe diversity of stakeholders interested in standardization issues in China has generally increased in recent years. The trend towards RES and more actively involved end consumers of electric power additionally tends to increase the number of stakeholders engaged in smart grid standardization. In particular, new market actors such as the ICT industry are expected to participate actively in order to unfold their innovative potential.\n\nExamples for current standardization activities in China and possible connections to the European Mandate M\/490\n\nThe SGCC Framework and Roadmap for Strong & Smart Grid Standards [66] stresses the importance of standardization for the smart grid development. Analyzing this document reveals the intention to identify gaps and thereby support the planning and implementation process. The mechanisms and concepts proposed in the context of the Mandate M\/490 are appropriate to be taken into consideration for the standardization in China and the coordination and harmonization of activities on the international level.\n\nThe issues and aims discussed in the context of the standardization process in China may benefit from coordination with similar activities in the international context. Within the organizational structure of the M\/490 SG-CG, possible liaisons with standardization activities in other countries including China are mentioned as future tasks within the scope of Mandate M\/490. Therefore a joint discussion on the issues of smart grid standardization may support the design of the smart grid architecture based on a unified planning process and a set of consistent standards.\n\nAs the goal of a consistent standardization framework is expressed in context of the SGCC Framework and Roadmap for Strong & Smart Grid Standards, its structure regarding the standardization system in China may represent a suitable starting point to integrate the European and Chinese viewpoints in context of a common framework. Furthermore, the national smart grid standardization task force established by the Standardization Administration of China (SAC) and NEA about two years ago may also be considered as an organizational platform to address these issues.\n\nThe further promotion of smart grid standardization activities would accelerate the development of an unanimously accepted vision on the technological and organizational design of smart grids in China. Specifically, the integration of new market actors in the standardization process would increase the innovation potential in the smart grid development. Based on the activities of the European Commission, the following policies are worth considering:\n\n  * The establishment of an organizational arrangement for smart grid standardization: the Chinese government, for example via MOST, could promote the foundation of an organizational arrangement such as SG-CG to coordinate standardization issues and integrate new market actors in the standardization process. Within this organizational arrangement, clear structures and processes to foster the understanding of the smart grid concept and to provide the means to model and implement smart grid solutions should be defined and implemented. The requirements of smart grids should be analyzed and current and future stakeholders identified.\n\n  * The commissioning of a reference architecture framework: the government could engage this organizational arrangement to develop architectural concepts such as a technical reference architecture (i. e. a Chinese Smart Grid Architecture Model). The models applied in this context should be able to describe interoperability aspects of the systems, ranging from business objectives to technical connectivity of the components involved in a solution.\n\n  * The commissioning of smart grid use cases and standards: use case descriptions and a thorough process to address governance and quality aspects are beneficial to develop a set of consistent and complimentary smart grid standards. The work of the SG-CG may be regarded as a reference in this area. Moreover, adapting the results of SG-CG to the Chinese context or creating a compatible (mirror-like) approach could serve as the basis to initiate a joint discussion on the issues of smart grid standardization.\n\nFollowing these recommendations, the key quality requirements of interoperability, data management, and cyber security can then be thoroughly analyzed and managed to create appropriate architecture models and identify supporting smart grid standards. This way, Chinese standardization processes could be synchronized more with international standardization. For example, Chinese standards could be promoted to the international level. Currently, the joint work in standardizing information exchange for demand response and in connecting demand side equipment and\/or systems into the smart grid (in IEC PC 118) is a good example for the benefits of such cooperation.\n\nThe recommended approach at a glance\n\n  * Promote the establishment of an organizational arrangement (e. g. similar to SG-CG) to coordinate smart grid standardization.\n\n  * Initiate the development of a reference architecture framework taking into account technical and organizational aspects which are unique to China (i. e. a Chinese Smart Grid Architecture Model).\n\n  * Ensure that effective and efficient standardization processes exist and promote the development of smart grid use cases and standards.\n\nOpen Access This chapter is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License, which permits any noncommercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author(s) and source are credited.\n\nReferences\n\n1.\n\nS. 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Updegrove, \"The Role of Government in ICT Standardization,\" Consortium Standards Bulletin, vol. 6, no. 2, 2007.\n\n65.\n\nThe European Commission, \"M\/490 Standardization Mandate to European Standardisation Organisations (ESOs) to Support European Smart Grid Deployment,\" The European Commission, Brussels, 2011.\n\n66.\n\nState Grid Corporation of China (SGCC), Framework and Roadmap for Strong & Smart Grid Standards, Beijing: SGCC, 2010.\n\nFootnotes\n\n1\n\nAMI is defined as \"systems [that] are comprised of state-of-the-art electronic\/digital hardware and software, which combine interval data measurement with continuously available remote communications. These systems enable measurement of detailed, time-based information and frequent collection and transmittal of such information to various parties.\" [60].\n\n2\n\nNote that the inevitability of this trade-off has been established repeatedly and with great rigor [18]. However, the extent of the regulator's dilemma can be reduced if the regulator has a fair amount of information on the cost structures and market opportunities of the regulated companies.\n\n3\n\nThe term incentive regulation is unfortunately somewhat misleading. Regulation always sets incentives: the question is merely what incentives and whether they are good or bad.\n\n4\n\nEven if the general idea behind the price cap regulation scheme is identical in the different countries, specific formula and parameters (e. g. the length of the regulation period or the allowed return of grid operators) differ from country to country. A more specific and detailed overview of network regulation in Europe can be found in [22].\n\n5\n\nCritical conditions occur when operational limits, according to common technical guidelines, are violated.\n\n6\n\nFurther information on the work of the Clearingstelle EEG can be found at https:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200bclearingstelle-eeg.\u200bde\/\u200benglish.\n\n7\n\nSee http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200bfi-ppp-finseny.\u200beu for more information on this project.\n\n8\n\nEspecially in those areas where potential harm to citizens resulting from non-compliance with the standard is low, standardization is mainly left to private industry [64].\n\u00a9 The Author(s) 2015\n\nGert Brunekreeft, Till Luhmann, Tobias Menz, Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller and Paul Recknagel (eds.)Regulatory Pathways For Smart Grid Development in China10.1007\/978-3-658-08463-9_6\n\n# 6. Regulatory pathways for smart grid development in China\n\nGert Brunekreeft1  , Marius Buchmann1, Christian D\u00e4nekas4, Xin Guo2, Christoph Mayer4, Marcus Merkel5, Christian Rehtanz6, Andr\u00e9 G\u00f6ring4, Andre Herrmann2, Ray Kodali2, Michael Stadler2, Mathias Uslar4, Nils Vogel2, Till Luhmann2  , Tobias Menz2  , Sven-Uwe M\u00fcller3  and Paul Recknagel3\n\n(1)\n\nJacobs University Bremen gGmbH, Bremen, Germany\n\n(2)\n\nBTC Business Technology Consulting AG, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(3)\n\nDeutsche Gesellschaft f\u00fcr Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) GmbH, Eschborn, Germany\n\n(4)\n\nOFFIS Institut f\u00fcr Informatik e.V., Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(5)\n\nEWE NETZ GmbH, Oldenburg, Germany\n\n(6)\n\nef.Ruhr Forschungs-GmbH, Dortmund, Germany\n\nGert Brunekreeft\n\nEmail: g.brunekreeft@jacobs-university.de\n\nTill Luhmann\n\nEmail: Till.Luhmann@btc-ag.com\n\nTobias Menz (Corresponding author)\n\nEmail: Tobias.Menz@btc-ag.com\n\nSven-Uwe M\u00fcller\n\nEmail: sven-uwe.mueller@giz.de\n\nPaul Recknagel\n\nEmail: paul.recknagel@giz.de\n\nChapter at a glance\n\n  * There are inherent conflicts between the fundamental energy policy goals of reliability, affordability, and sustainability. Government priorities on the energy policy goals are often reflected in energy sector regulation.\n\n  * Seven recommendations have been presented in support of smart grid development in China. In principle, each recommendation is intended as support for the fundamental energy policy goals. Nevertheless, the implementation sequence of the recommendations is not arbitrary with respect to the energy policy goals.\n\n  * In order to give policy makers an impression of how policy goal prioritization influences the timeline in which the recommendations should be implemented, the present chapter will outline three possible regulatory pathways. Each of these pathways prioritizes one specific goal of the energy policy triangle and develops a suitable implementation roadmap. These roadmaps are intended to serve as blueprints for policy makers, who have to decide about proper regulation based on the individual Chinese prioritization of energy policy goals.\n\n## 6.1 Government targets for China's future electric power system\n\nThe following chapter will present the main targets of China's government for each stage of the electric power system. These targets are the basis for a comprehensive description of the scenarios underlying the regulatory pathways. The targets are based on the following documents:\n\n  * 12 th Five-Year Plan for Energy Development, issued by China's State Council in 2013 [1],\n\n  * Opinions on Accelerating the Development of Environmental Industry, issued by China's State Council in 2013 [2],\n\n  * Key Information at a glance \u2013 China's 12 th Five-Year Plan for Renewable Energy Development, issued by NEA in 2012 [3],\n\n  * China's 2012 Energy Policy, issued by the Information Office of the State Council in 2012 [4].\n\n  * Understanding China's 12 th Five-Year Energy Plan, issued by IEA in 2013 [5].\n\nTargets for the power generation sector\n\nIn order to cope with rapidly increasing power consumption and to ensure power system reliability, China's government plans to increase total electricity generation capacities during the next years from 970 GW in 2010 to 1490 GW in 2015. It is projected that generation capacities will increase further to 1935 GW in 2020 [6].\n\nMore specifically, China's government aims at vigorously developing distributed and renewable energy sources. From 880 TWh in 2011, electricity generated solely from renewable sources is projected to increase to more than 1,200 TWh in 2015. The projected increases in generation capacities for solar power, wind power, and biomass power are impressive. If these expansion targets are to be achieved, RES must be integrated in the grid more effectively than today. The Chinese government additionally aims at stopping the deterioration of air quality as well as the increase of CO2 emissions. The target is therefore for the total amount of discharge of SO2 and NOx to remain constant between 2015 and 2020. Also, the increase in CO2 emissions will be slowed in spite of the planned coal power generation growth.\n\nGovernment targets for the power generation sector at a glance\n\n  * Roughly double generation capacities from 2010 to 2020\n\n  * Vigorously develop RES\n\n  * Stop the deterioration of air quality.\n\n  * Reduce the growth of CO2 emissions\n\nTargets for the power logistics sector\n\nChina's government plans to significantly expand transmission and distribution grids. The capacity of China's transmission grids is planned to double by 2020 (compared to 2010), creating a national backbone grid, interconnecting different Chinese regions and improving electricity transmission from the energy bases to the load centers. The plan also include upgrading urban and rural distribution grids, promoting distribution intelligence, and improving the capacity and reliability of the overall power supply. This enhancement of distribution grids primarily aims at reducing blackout times by roughly 40 % from 2012 to 2020. The government also aims at improving asset utilization of the grid infrastructure by peak shaving and by reducing the line loss rate from 6.5 % in 2010 to 6.3 % in 2015.\n\nWith the goal of facilitating the integration of large-scale and intermittent RES, the Chinese government aims at promoting energy storage technologies by funding R&D on energy storage, energy conversion and related key technologies.\n\nGovernment targets for the power logistics sector at a glance\n\n  * Build up a backbone network and roughly double grid capacities from 2010 to 2020\n\n  * Upgrade distribution grids and reduce blackout times significantly\n\n  * Improve asset utilization of grid infrastructure\n\n  * Promote energy storage\n\nTargets for the power trade and retail sector\n\nThe Chinese government plans to establish a more market-oriented energy system to increase competition and affordability. Administrative reforms of SOE are planned to take place: transmission and distribution will be separated in a number of pilot projects and independent power trading institutions will be established. Electricity markets and price-based coordination mechanisms are planned to be introduced: the government strives to form a pricing mechanism where markets set on-grid and off-grid prices and the government only sets the price for electricity transmission and distribution (network charge), the economic dispatch for power generation will be increased, and time-of-use prices, seasonal tariffs and interruptible load electricity tariffs are planned for more widespread introduction.\n\nGovernment targets for the power trade and retail sector at a glance\n\n  * Establish a modern energy market system\n\n  * Promote reforms in key energy sectors\n\n  * Improve energy pricing mechanisms\n\nTargets for the power consumption sector\n\nOne of the government's major targets is to increase the efficiency of power use in order to reduce growth in total electricity consumption. Specifically, the government intends to reduce energy consumption per unit of GDP by roughly 16 % from 2010 to 2015. Given that some of China's most remote regions are still not connected to the electric power grid, China's government also wants to provide universal access to electric power even in most remote regions of China by 2015.\n\nGovernment targets for the power consumption sector at a glance\n\n  * Increase efficiency of power use\n\n  * Provide universal access to electric power even in most remote regions of China by 2015\n\nCross-sector targets\n\nWith regard to power system governance, the government aims at improving the planning and implementation of power sector development: targets and responsibilities of different governmental institutions will be clarified and coordinated; local governments and the pertinent departments of the State Council will be made responsible for binding indicators such as the share of non-fossil fuels in energy consumption or the intensity of energy consumption.\n\nSimultaneously the government is moving forward to strengthen energy industry management by accelerating the introduction of an Energy Law and by enacting amendments to the Coal Law and the Electric Power Law. Also, technology and equipment in the energy sector will be further standardized and capacities of statistics, monitoring, prediction, and warning will be built up.\n\nThe Chinese government envisages rationalizing energy investment and the management system of SOE. The government wants to explicitly adhere to the dominance of its state-owned economy in key energy sectors related to national security and economy but, at the same time, it wants to improve the management and assessment mechanisms of SOE.\n\nRegardless of the adherence to the dominant position of SOE in China's power system, the government also has the objective of diversifying investments in the energy sector. Approval for energy infrastructure investments is intended to become less restrictive so that the participation of private and foreign capital is encouraged. Single energy markets, like the oil market, will be opened up to competition. The government wants to strengthen the innovation potential of China's environmental industry in order to enable the industry to increase the supply of green products, expand market demand, and enhance export prospects.\n\nAnother goal is to accelerate the development of the environmental industry in order to promote the development of technologies and equipment that save energy, protect the environment, and encourage reuse of resources.\n\nGovernmental cross-sector targets at a glance\n\n  * Improve planning and implementation\n\n  * Strengthen the management of the energy industry\n\n  * Rationalize energy investment and the management system of SOE\n\n  * Diversify energy investment\n\n  * Accelerate the development of the environmental industry\n\n## 6.2 Underlying scenarios\n\nIn the following chapter, three smart grid development scenarios will be presented, based on different energy policy goals. For each scenario, the recommendations made in Chap.\u200b 5 will be prioritized and their interdependencies analyzed. The results of this analysis are scenario-based propositions for the implementation sequences of the recommendations. They will be presented in the form of a roadmap. Each roadmap is intended to support China's smart grid development with a focus on one particular scenario. The smart grid scenarios presented in the chapter are:\n\n  * Reliability\/Security of Supply: In this scenario, the goal is to maximize electricity availability and to minimize outages and disruptions of the electricity supply.\n\n  * Ecological Sustainability: The second scenario focuses on improving air quality as well as on decreasing and potentially stopping the growth of CO2 emissions in order to contribute to climate protection. Amongst others, this is achieved by an accelerated installation of RES capacities.\n\n  * Affordability\/Competition: Competition is a key factor for innovation and affordability. This scenario will consequently focus on the creation of level playing fields and of incentives for market participation of new market actors through appropriate market design.\n\nThe government targets presented in Sect. 6.1 are associated to the three scenarios (see Fig. 6.1). In some cases, a specific target contributes to more than one energy policy goal. Yet, in these cases, in an effort to increase clarity, only the most obvious association to one specific policy goal will be presented. Two targets are general smart grid development targets as recorded in the 12 th Five-Year Plan for Energy Development. They are placed in the center of the triangle, as smart grids are seen as a means to contribute to all energy policy goals.\n\nFig. 6.1\n\nScenarios and their associations with energy policy goals\n\n## 6.3 Drawing the roadmaps\n\nFor migrating from today's electric power system towards smart grids based on one of the given scenarios, it is favorable to implement the recommendations in a specific timeline. For deriving the implementation sequences, the recommendations were sorted by priority in a first step. In a second step, main aspects of the recommendations in each scenario were collected and allocated to the timeframes short term (2015\u20132016), medium term (2017\u20132020) and long term (2021\u20132030). Interdependencies between main aspects were explored additionally. Afterwards the recommendations were arranged chronologically.\n\nThe following three sections show recommended priorities, their main aspects, interdependencies, and the sequences worked out for the implementation for each scenario. Recommendations and dependencies are highlighted within the order of their respective importance for the scenario. In addition, a visualization pertaining to the scenario and summarizing the timeframes of the respective measures of each recommendation is also presented. Furthermore, a possible sequence of starting points for work on the recommendations has been worked out. The justifications for the prioritization of the recommendations are discussed together with each chart. Moreover, the specific measures to be executed for each recommendation, their respective interdependencies, and their timeframes are explained.\n\n### 6.3.1 Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario\n\nLooking at the overall prioritization with respect to the Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario, it can be seen that the recommendations to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator, Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade, and to Improve grid integration of RES have a high priority (Fig. 6.2). Remember that these priorities do not necessarily correspond to the proposed implementation sequence, because interdependencies within the given scenario have to be analyzed before recommendations are implemented.\n\nFig. 6.2\n\nPriority of recommendations in the Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario\n\nDefine a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator\n\nEffective government work is a precondition for the efficient development of smart grids. Therefore, roles and responsibilities for government administration and regulation have to be set from the start. As a consequence, it is important to implement in the short term all the measures proposed in the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator:\n\n  * A clearly defined long-term strategy for electricity system development has to be specified by the government. The strategy should include long-term government targets with regard to the development of generation capacities of different generation technologies, and targets for energy efficiency. Such a strategy is a prerequisite for coordinated expansion of the electric power system as well as smart grid development. It might also serve as a point of reference for related government policies.\n\n  * The centralization of all regulatory aspects in one independent and powerful regulatory institution is of critical importance to increase the effectiveness of regulation. The main tasks of the regulator are coordination of network expansion planning and network regulation. In the Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario, the regulator should specifically monitor power disruptions and outage times on national and local levels to provide an overview of the quality of electricity supply. Much like in Germany, grid operators should be obliged to regularly report data on power disruptions and outage times to the regulator (see Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b4 for related regulation in Germany). Pertinent laws (for example, a general energy law) should empower the Chinese regulator to effectively monitor power disruptions and outage times.\n\nCoordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade\n\nNetwork expansion planning has a high priority in this scenario because the electric power grid is the backbone of the power system. Coordinated and efficient network expansion is the basis of a power infrastructure that can be adapted to consumer needs in a timely manner. This maximizes energy availability as the reliability of the future energy system essentially depends on the grid and generation capacities being matched to the consumption side.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade are:\n\n  * In the short term, the main task to be accomplished for successful network expansion planning is to improve coordination between power system stakeholders and to define a common procedure for network expansion planning. Specifically, it is beneficial to coordinate network expansion planning and the construction of new generation capacities. The Future-oriented Energy Grids Platform can serve as a role model to encourage the establishment of a similar grid platform in China.\n\n  * In the medium term, stakeholders involved in the grid planning process have to elaborate a network development plan that will be mandatory for TSO and DSO under supervision of the regulator.\n\nThe measures to be implemented within the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator should precede the measures within the recommendation to Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade: a government strategy for the electric power system including long-term targets for generation capacities is a prerequisite for the network development process. An independent and powerful regulatory institution is supposed to supervise the network development process.\n\nImprove grid integration of RES\n\nIncreasing RES capacities contribute to supply the quickly increasing demand for electric power. Therefore, they support reliability and security of supply if the technical integration of RES is clearly defined. However, RES that have not been properly integrated may even endanger security of supply and stability.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Improve grid integration of RES are:\n\n  * In the short term, grid connection points must be defined for all kinds of RES at all grid levels.\n\n  * Defining a binding network code for grid connection that specifies responsibilities of grid operators as well as power generators is also a task in short term.\n\n  * RES generation capacities are needed in order to maximize available electricity and thereby reduce load curtailments. However, for grid stability and security of supply to be ensured, RES generation has to be curtailed under specific conditions. Therefore, procedures and documentation for curtailment of RES and the requirements in terms of IT support must be specified in the medium term.\n\nEven if the recommendation to Improve grid integration of RES has high priority, measures to be implemented within several other recommendations serve as an input and should be implemented early: along with the need for an independent and powerful regulator to supervise curtailment procedures and define network codes, the clear specification of targeted RES generation capacities and well-defined network development procedures for network enhancement are preconditions for more effective RES integration. Also, a unified view of smart grids and technical standards contribute to a more effective integration of RES [7].\n\nOptimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption\n\nWhen electricity consumption increases so quickly that the growth of generation capacities can hardly follow, balancing and especially peak shaving are measures that support security of supply. Grid operation with higher safety margins eases grid control. Therefore, reduced peak loads resulting from peak shaving help to avoid system instabilities. Coordination of electricity generation and consumption is therefore of considerable priority in the scenario of reliability and security of supply. This includes load management, time-of-use pricing, and smart meter rollout.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption are:\n\n  * In the short term, the main aspect is the further refinement of peak shaving mechanisms and technologies for system stabilization with focus on industrial and commercial consumers. One interesting option in this context is to tender the disconnectable loads on an internet platform (see Sect.\u200b 4.\u200b4.\u200b5 for related regulation in Germany).\n\n  * As already planned by the Chinese government, the time-of-use pricing system has to be refined (sufficient price differences between peak and off- peak prices for all categories of consumers) in the short term as well. A more sophisticated time-of-use pricing would incentivize investments in balancing mechanisms and technologies \u2013 for instance DSM, SSM, and energy storage.\n\nAn additional interesting measure originally not included in the recommendation to Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption is locational pricing that can be used to signal network congestion. Locational pricing refers to power prices which are calculated for a number of locations \u2013 called nodes \u2013 on the transmission grid. Each node represents a physical location where power is injected by generators or withdrawn by loads [8]. Locational pricing reduces network congestion and may also set incentives for network expansion in regions with many network congestions [9]. It is an option for the long term and might become necessary in future in order to efficiently integrate the projected RES generation capacities. The regulator is supposed to supervise such locational pricing by regulating network charges with a clear scheme for the interaction between network operators and market players.\n\nThe discussion reveals that measures implemented within the recommendations to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator and to Improve grid integration of RES serve as an input for the recommendation to Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption.\n\nFacilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids\n\nA technical reference architecture helps better understand smart grids and allows holistic analyses of security aspects relating to their implementation. Interoperability minimizes individual integration efforts and reduces the probability of interface failures. Such a reference architecture will therefore increase reliability and security of supply.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids are:\n\n  * In the short term, the main aspect is the creation and adoption of an organizational arrangement to model smart grid reference architectures and to coordinate smart grid standardization.\n\n  * Defining effective and efficient standardization processes (e. g. based on smart grid use cases) as well as coordinating the work of SDO to establish effective and efficient standardization processes are two further important aspects that should take place in the same time frame.\n\n  * In the medium term, a set of consistent smart grid standards should be created using the technical reference architecture.\n\nIntroduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade\n\nIn the scenario focusing on reliability and security of supply, network regulation is somewhat less important but not irrelevant. It contributes indirectly to this scenario, as it sets economic incentives for the build-up and maintenance of the grid infrastructure. Incentives for efficient network investments and investments in R&D and innovation are important in the context of the measures within this recommendation. These incentives, by contributing to the introduction of smart grid technologies, will directly ensure security of supply and reduce costs.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Introduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade are:\n\n  * In the short term, the use of incentive instruments like rate-of-return adder or innovation bonus should be assessed for application in China.\n\n  * A decision about the use of disaggregated regulation (i. e. regulating only the monopolistic bottlenecks) should be made in the short to medium term. If applicable, disaggregated regulation should be implemented in the medium term.\n\n  * Also in the medium term, incentives should be defined for investment in innovation and smart applications. In this context, the network development plan should be aligned and critical network connections for system stability which necessitate stronger investment incentives should be identified. At this point in time, a rate-of-return adder can be especially beneficial.\n\nAs an independent and powerful regulator is a prerequisite for network regulation, the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator should be realized before network regulation is focused upon.\n\nCreate level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information\n\nAs new market actors are necessary more for innovation than for stability of the energy supply, the measures proposed in the recommendation to Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information are not considered as important in this scenario with a focus on reliability and security of supply.\n\nSequence of implementation\n\nIn the light of the interdependencies described above, the following implementation sequence is proposed in the scenario focusing on reliability\/security of supply:\n\n  * Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator.\n\n  * Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade.\n\n  * Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids.\n\n  * Improve grid integration of RES.\n\n  * Optimize coordination of electricity generation and consumption.\n\n  * Introduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade.\n\nFigure 6.3 depicts the points in time for undertaking the main activities and shows dependencies between the key aspects of recommendations for the scenario focusing on reliability and security of supply. Each recommendation is represented by a bar partitioned into timeframes from left to right. The starting point of each bar depicts the proposed beginning of work on each recommendation. Recommendations that are unimportant to the scenario are shown in gray. Proposed time points for the main measures are represented by the opaque blue regions on each bar. At the end of each bar, color gradients have been used to show that work on the recommendations continues even after the main aspects have been taken care of. The main measures are shown as boxes. The proposed starting time of each measure is shown by a diagonal line connecting the box to the bar. Dependencies between measures are shown by arrows while preconditions are marked with a white line crossing a bar at the beginning of the arrow. The end of the arrow points to the dependent measure.\n\nFig. 6.3\n\nStarting points, timeslots of main activities, and dependencies between main aspects of recommendations in the scenario focusing on reliability and security of supply\n\n### 6.3.2 Ecological Sustainability scenario\n\nAn introductory overview of the overall prioritization with respect to this scenario is presented in Fig. 6.4. It can be seen that the recommendations Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator, Improve grid integration of RES, and Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information have a high priority in the Ecological Sustainability scenario. Again, remember that these priorities do not necessarily correspond to the proposed implementation sequence because the interdependencies within the given scenario have to be analyzed before.\n\nFig. 6.4\n\nPriority of recommendations in the Ecological Sustainability scenario\n\nDefine a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator\n\nAs in the previous scenario, the commitment to a long-term strategy and the creation of an independent and powerful regulator has the highest priority in the scenario for ecological sustainability because a government-defined long-term strategy for the future electricity sector including specific RES expansion targets is a prerequisite for effective and efficient expansion of RES generation capacities.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator are:\n\n  * Effective regulation is required to ensure RES integration. Thus, the centralization of regulatory aspects in one independent and powerful regulatory institution should be addressed in the short term. Responsibilities for grid integration of RES and for power system information management should be assigned in this context.\n\n  * Official government targets for RES expansion are currently defined only until 2015. Within the forthcoming Five-Year Plan, the planning period will be extended to 2020. Defining a long-term government strategy concerning energy mix (including RES share), and energy efficiency indicators beyond 2020 is consequently a task for the medium term.\n\nImprove grid integration of RES\n\nTimely connection and low curtailment of RES will speed up the reduction of greenhouse gas emissions as well as emissions of local and regional air pollutants. RES therefore need to be integrated into the grid with a very high priority and all of the following tasks need to be implemented in the short term:\n\n  * Proper definitions of grid connection points are necessary for all kinds of RES on all grid levels.\n\n  * A binding network code specifying responsibilities of both grid operators and power generators needs to be defined, as investors in RES need clear time limits for grid connection of RES in order to deliver generated electricity to the market at the right time. Grid operators should have to bear liability for grid connection of RES \u2013 resulting in a shallow cost approach for interconnection, whereby grid operators have both the responsibility and the opportunity for efficient overall grid development.\n\n  * Detailed procedures and documentation for curtailment of RES must be specified, and the requirements for IT support of these procedures must be clear. The implementation of this measure can be seen as a technical and economic framework to encourage investments into RES.\n\nMeasures related to the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator positively impact the effectiveness of the recommendation to Improve grid integration of RES: credible long-term government targets for RES generation capacities reduce risks related to investments in RES units. Another prerequisite is a powerful and independent regulator to supervise curtailment procedures and to define network codes.\n\nCreate level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information\n\nIn principle, new market actors in China can already invest in RES. However, they need to be integrated into electricity sector governance more effectively in order to ensure efficient integration of RES. Non-incumbent market actors will invest in RES generation capacities only if the necessary information for competition and market access is available to them. Methods for the integration of the innovation potential of third parties have to be institutionalized and non-discriminatory information sharing has to be guaranteed.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information are:\n\n  * In the short term, the main measure of this recommendation is the definition of minimum necessary requirements for power system information management. Note that this task is related to the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator in Fig. 6.5 due to the pivotal role of the government in this context.\n\nFig. 6.5\n\nStarting points, timeslots of main activities, and dependencies between main aspects of recommendations in the scenario focusing on ecological sustainability\n\n  * In the medium term, the role of new market actors in smart grids should be defined and how these actors can be integrated should be clarified.\n\n  * An institution for power system information management should be specified, and this institution should set up a platform. It should then organize access to and exchange of information between all eligible parties.\n\nBefore the role of new market actors in smart grids can be defined, a long-term strategy for the electric power sector should be developed. Therefore, the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator should precede the recommendation to Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information. An architecture and standardization framework encourages the development of a unified smart grid model containing an overview of relevant use cases and business processes. Such a model, representing a form of Chinese SGAM, significantly eases the organization of power system information management. The platform for information management should therefore be implemented after the measures relating to the recommendation to Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids have been applied.\n\nOptimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption\n\nWhen consumption is not coordinated with generation, significant curtailments of RES generation are necessary to ensure grid stability. This reduces the attractiveness of investments in RES generation capacities. The usage of VPP, microgrids, or energy storage units facilitates the integration of distributed RES.\n\nWithin the scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption are:\n\n  * The first task in coordinating electricity generation and consumption is to promote VPP, microgrids, and energy storage technology for local integration in the short term by increasing R&D funding in this area.\n\n  * The time-of-use pricing system, which depends on a successful smart meter rollout, also has to be refined (sufficient price differences between peak and off peak prices for all categories of consumers) in the short term. This measure is already planned by the Chinese government. The first focus should be set on industrial and commercial consumers and then on residential consumers.\n\n  * Another interesting measure, originally not included in the recommendation to Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption, is locational pricing. It might be interesting in the long term and contribute to RES integration (see Sect. 6.3.1 for a brief description of locational pricing).\n\nCoordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade\n\nNetwork development is necessary to connect new consumers and generators to the network, including generation units belonging to third parties. The network development plan allows planning of RES installation and thereby increases investments in RES. As a consequence, network expansion planning is relevant in this scenario. The main measures of the recommendation to Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade should be taken in the short term:\n\n  * Increased coordination between established stakeholders and new market actors should be promoted by the government.\n\n  * A coordinated and mandatory network development plan including the aspect of RES integration should be established.\n\nBased on experiences in Germany, an independent and powerful regulator is the best-suited organization for organizing and implementing these measures. Therefore, the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator should be implemented before the recommendation to Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade.\n\nFacilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids\n\nAs mentioned above, distributed energy resources are important and in this scenario their number is expected to rise. This implies an increase in system scale and complexity and calls for a smart grid architecture and standardization framework (i. e. an organizational arrangement to coordinate and promote smart grid standardization and the development of a reference architecture). A unified view of smart grids should exist to elicit the resulting requirements and to compare different architectural solutions. The smart grid architecture and standardization framework should focus on interoperability between actors and systems, which is a key aspect in the context of decentralized system architectures. The high number of interfaces between systems implies the need for security analyses, which in turn requires solid models of systems architectures [7]. Clear structures and processes should be defined in order to coordinate the work of SDO.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids are:\n\n  * In the short term, an organizational arrangement to coordinate and promote smart grid standardization should be created and the development of a technical reference architecture framework should be assigned.\n\n  * In the medium term, effective and efficient standardization processes (e. g. based on a collection of smart grid use cases) should be established.\n\nIntroduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade\n\nFor ecological sustainability, an electric power grid does not necessarily have to be developed at lowest costs. As network regulation focuses on efficient network investments, it is not an important regulation measure for this scenario.\n\nSequence of implementation\n\nFigure 6.5 shows the timeframes of the main activities and interdependencies involved in this scenario. For a detailed description of the layout of the visualization, please check back to the previous section. In the light of interdependencies described above, the following implementation sequence is proposed in the scenario focusing on ecological sustainability:\n\n  * Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator.\n\n  * Improve grid integration of RES.\n\n  * Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade.\n\n  * Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information.\n\n  * Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption.\n\n  * Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids.\n\n### 6.3.3 Affordability\/Competition scenario\n\nAn introductory overview of the overall prioritization with respect to this scenario is presented in Fig. 6.6. It can be seen that the recommendations Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information, Coordinate network expansion planning, and Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator have a high priority in the Affordability\/Competition scenario.\n\nFig. 6.6\n\nPriority of recommendations in the Affordability\/Competition scenario\n\nCreate level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information\n\nIn the scenario focusing on competition and innovation, two very important aspects are power system information management and the inclusion of new market actors. As non-incumbent market actors are main drivers for competition and innovation, non-discriminatory access to relevant information is crucial for them to encourage investments in the electric power system. China's smart grid development is dominated by SGCC and CSG, whereas the ICT industry hardly participates in strategic smart grid developments. It would be highly beneficial to change this situation with regard to the non-involvement of the ICT sector and to create business opportunities for new market actors.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information are:\n\n  * In the short term, the definition of the role of new market actors in smart grids and how these actors can be integrated is one of the main aspects.\n\n  * Defining minimum requirements for a data platform to organize access to and exchange of power system information between all eligible parties has to be accomplished in the short term.\n\n  * Also, the establishment of such a data platform is another task to be accomplished in this timeframe.\n\nA common understanding of the structural aspects of smart grids would encourage the identification and description of the roles of new market actors as well as their need for information and interfaces both on the business and technical level. An institutionalized smart grid architecture and standardization framework might therefore serve as an inter-company interaction mechanism to strengthen the role of third parties even beyond standardization.\n\nCoordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade\n\nThe recommendation to Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade proposes that a stakeholder platform for network development should be established. This platform would mean more involvement of all market actors. All measures associated to this recommendation should be implemented in the short term:\n\n  * Coordination between established power system stakeholders and new market actors has to be strengthened. For this purpose, a stakeholder platform similar to the Future-oriented Energy Grids Platform in Germany could be established and managed by a government institution.\n\n  * Common procedures for network expansion planning should be defined. A network development plan should be elaborated within a coordinated process and shared responsibilities and made mandatory afterwards.\n\n  * Responsibilities for network planning should be identified, thereby clarifying which new market actors should participate in this process. This task shall be accomplished by a government organization, but it can be supported by grid operators.\n\nBefore the start of network expansion planning including new market actors, the role of new market actors in China's electric power system must be defined. Therefore, the recommendation to Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information should precede the recommendation to Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade.\n\nDefine a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator\n\nAs government agencies have to supervise and guide grid operation, an effective definition of the government's roles and responsibilities is important. This ensures favorable conditions for the development and rollout of innovations.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator are:\n\n  * If the responsibilities for network planning have not already been defined within the previous recommendation, the government has to define these responsibilities in the short term.\n\n  * An independent and powerful regulator should be established in the medium term.\n\n  * A long-term strategy for the future electric power sector beyond 2020 must be defined in the same time frame.\n\nIntroduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade\n\nIn the scenario focusing on affordability and competition, disaggregated regulation should ensure that only monopolistic bottlenecks (transmission and distribution grids) are regulated. Consequently, competition can evolve in all other stages of the supply chain and incentives are created for a cost-efficient build-up of the grid and for technical innovations.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Introduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade within this scenario are:\n\n  * Network charges offering efficient investment incentives in smart grids have to be introduced in the medium term.\n\n  * After network charges have been fixed, disaggregated regulation can be introduced. Due to the high impact of disaggregated regulation on competition in the retail sector, this measure should also be implemented in the medium term.\n\nBefore network regulation can be established, the responsibility for network regulation has to be defined and an independent and powerful regulator is necessary.\n\nFacilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids\n\nAs mentioned above, a smart grid architecture and standardization framework (i. e. an organizational arrangement to coordinate smart grid standardization and the development of a reference architecture) can be institutionalized as an inter-company interaction mechanism to strengthen the role of new market actors. In addition, it ensures interoperability between solutions coming from different vendors, prevents vendor lock-in and makes Chinese smart grid technologies applicable in international markets as well as vice versa [10], [11]. Furthermore, the framework supports the standardization and engineering process and thereby the diffusion of knowledge.\n\nWithin this scenario the main measures of the recommendation to Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids are:\n\n  * In the short term, the smart grid architecture and standardization framework has to be created or adopted to enable modeling of smart grid solution architectures.\n\n  * Coordinating the work of organizations involved in the development of standards needs clear structures and incentives for new market actors to participate in the process. The definition of these structures and incentives is also a short-term task.\n\n  * In addition, standardization processes need to be coordinated with international standardization in the short term in order to establish effective and efficient standardization processes (e. g. based on a collection of smart grid use cases) in the medium term.\n\nImprove grid integration of RES\n\nGrid integration of RES is important in this scenario. The stricter the conditions for grid connection of RES are formulated, the less smaller power generation companies are dependent on the grid operators. Rules favorable for the integration of RES attract new investors, i. e. third parties that need both stable investment and technical conditions. The following measures should therefore be implemented in the short term in order to allow competition in the field of RES generation:\n\n  * Grid connection points need proper definition for all kinds of RES on all grid levels.\n\n  * A binding network code for grid connection specifying the respective responsibilities of grid operators and power generators needs to be specified. In this context, grid operators should bear liability for grid connection of RES.\n\n  * A detailed procedure and documentation for curtailment of RES including, for example, document exchange and transparency rules must be defined. Additionally, the requirements for IT support for these procedures need to be specified.\n\nWell-defined network development procedures for network enhancement involving RES will positively impact the effectiveness of these measures. The recommendation to Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade should therefore start before the recommendation to Improve grid integration of RES.\n\nOptimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption\n\nThe recommendation with the lowest priority in this scenario is the balancing of electricity generation and consumption, which is relevant for integrating prosumers in the electric power system. Balancing of electricity generation and consumption includes load management, time-of-use pricing, smart meter rollout, and the promotion of VPP, microgrids, and energy storage by reducing barriers to their implementation.\n\nWithin this scenario, the main measures of the recommendation to Optimize the balancing of electricity generation and consumption are:\n\n  * In the medium term, coordination between electricity generation and consumption can be optimized by peak shaving and a further refinement of time-of-use pricing. Such a time-of-use based framework for pricing with sufficient price differences will incentivize the usage of balancing mechanisms and technologies such as DSM, SSM, and energy storage.\n\nBalancing of electricity generation and consumption potentially depends on the grid integration of RES. However, power system information management with smart meter infrastructure and information interchange between all parties as well as an independent and powerful regulator for regulation of network charges are also necessary.\n\nSequence of Implementation\n\nFigure 6.7 shows the timeframes of main activities and interdependencies. In the light of the interdependencies described above, the following implementation sequence is proposed in the scenario focusing on ecological sustainability:\n\nFig. 6.7\n\nStarting points, timeslots of main activities, and dependencies between main aspects of recommendations in the scenario focusing on competition and innovation\n\n  * Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information.\n\n  * Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade.\n\n  * Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator.\n\n  * Introduce network regulation for efficient investment incentives for electricity grid expansion and upgrade.\n\n  * Facilitate the development of a unified view of smart grids.\n\n  * Improve grid integration of RES.\n\n  * Optimize coordination of electricity generation and consumption.\n\n## 6.4 Discussion of the three roadmaps\n\nIn addition to the specific timeline of each scenario, the three different roadmaps presented above give policy makers the following general hints:\n\n  * The priority and relevance of each recommendation can be assessed on the basis of the underlying scenario. For example, it can be seen that the measures of the recommendation to Create level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information have the highest priority if the government focuses on fostering competition and innovation but are virtually irrelevant if the government focuses only on reliability issues.\n\n  * Comparing the proposed implementation sequences in all three scenarios shows which recommendations have high priorities in all three scenarios. Such recommendations can be considered as political imperatives and should be implemented irrespective of the underlying policy goals of the Chinese government.\n\nFigure 6.8 summarizes the proposed implementation sequences for all three scenarios. Those recommendations to be implemented in the beginning are presented in the left. For example, the Ecological Sustainability scenario starts with Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator, followed by Improve grid integration of RES and then by the remaining recommendations.\n\nFig. 6.8\n\nOverview of proposed implementation sequences for all three scenarios\n\nComparing the implementation sequences in all three scenarios reveals that there are two recommended approaches with the highest overall priority. The measures subsumed within these recommendations shall be implemented independently of the underlying scenario:\n\n  * Define a long-term strategy for the electricity sector and establish an independent and powerful regulator, and\n\n  * Coordinate network expansion planning for electricity grid expansion and upgrade.\n\nThree of the remaining five recommendations are relevant in each scenario, though with a lower priority:\n\n  * The Improvement of the grid integration of RES has a very high priority under the Ecological Sustainability scenario and is also important for the Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario. It is somewhat less important in the Affordability\/Competition scenario.\n\n  * The Facilitation of the development of a unified view of smart grids is especially important with respect to the Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario. It is somewhat less important with regard to the Affordability\/Competition and Ecological Sustainability scenarios.\n\n  * The Optimization of the balancing of electricity generation and consumption is particularly relevant for the Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario. The recommendation has a lower relevance in the Ecological Sustainability scenario and is ranked last in the Affordability\/Competition scenario.\n\nThe two remaining recommendations are not relevant in every scenario. Rather, they contribute to single energy policy goals. In particular, both of these recommendations are essential for migrating towards smart grids focusing on affordability and competition:\n\n  * The Creation of level playing fields for access to power system infrastructure and information is the first recommendation that should be implemented if the government strives to develop smart grids focusing on affordability and competition. It is also important if the government chooses to focus on ecological sustainability.\n\n  * The Introduction of network regulation for electricity grid expansion and upgrade is at position four in the implementation sequence of the Affordability\/Competition scenario. It is also relevant, though at a later stage, in the Reliability\/Security of Supply scenario.\n\nOpen Access This chapter is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License, which permits any noncommercial use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author(s) and source are credited.\n\nReferences\n\n1.\n\nState Council of the People's Republic of China, \"12th Five-Year Plan for Energy Development,\" Guofa, Beijing, 2013.\n\n2.\n\nState Council of the People's Republic of China, \"Opinions on Accelerating the Development of Environmental Industry,\" Beijing, 2013.\n\n3.\n\nNational Energy Administration (NEA), \"Key Information at a Glance \u2013 China 12th Five-Year Plan for Renewable Energy Development,\" China National Renewable Energy Center (CNREC), Beijing, 2012.\n\n4.\n\nState Council Information Office of the People's Republic of China (SCIO), \"China's Energy Policy 2012,\" SCIO, Beijing, 2012.\n\n5.\n\nInternational Energy Agency (IEA), \"Understanding China's 12th Five-Year Energy Plan,\" IEA, Paris, 2013.\n\n6.\n\nG. Tong, \"Status Quo of the Smart Grid Development in China and Its Driving Forces,\" National Energy Administration (NEA), Oldenburg, 2013.\n\n7.\n\nBundesverband der Energie- und Wasserwirtschaft (BDEW), \"BDEW-Roadmap: Realistische Ziele zur Umsetzung von Smart Grids in Deutschland,\" BDEW, Berlin, 2013.\n\n8.\n\nD. Philliips, \"Nodal Pricing Basics,\" Online]. Available: [http:\/\/\u200bwww.\u200biemo.\u200bcom\/\u200bimoweb\/\u200bpubs\/\u200bconsult\/\u200bmep\/\u200bLMP_\u200bNodalBasics_\u200b2004jan14.\u200bpdf. [Accessed February 21, 2014].\n\n9.\n\nS. Stoft, Power System Economics, Piscataway: The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, 2002.CrossRef\n\n10.\n\nB. Qu\u00e9lin, T. Abdessemed, J.-P. Bonardi and R. Durand, \"Standardization of Network Technologies: Market Processes or the Result of Inter-Firm Co-Operation?,\" Journal of Economic Surveys, vol. 15, no. 4, pp. 543\u2013569, 2001.CrossRef\n\n11.\n\nG. Tassey, \"Standardization in Technology-Based Markets,\" Research Policy, vol. 29, no. 4\u20135, pp. 587\u2013602, 2000.CrossRef00091-8)\n\n## Appendix A \u2013 Tables and Figures\n\nTable A.1\n\nElectricity consumption in China in 2011, data from [1]\n\nConsumer | Electricity Consumption in TWh in 2011 | in % of Total\n\n---|---|---\n\nIndustry | 3,469 | 73.8\n\nResidential Sector | 562 | 12.0\n\nWholesale, Retail, Trade, and Hotels\/Restaurants | 150 | 3.1\n\nAgriculture, Forestry, Animal Husbandry, Fishery, and Water Conservancy | 101 | 2.2\n\nTransport, Storage, and Postal Service | 85 | 1.8\n\nConstruction | 57 | 1.2\n\nOthers | 275 | 5.9\n\nTable A.2\n\nCircuit length of transmission lines with 35-kV and above and installed capacity of transformers by the end of 2010\n\nVoltage level | Circuit length of transmission line\/km | Capacity of transformers\/ 10,000-kVA\n\n---|---|---\n\nTotal 35-kV and above | 1,336,772 | 361,742\n\n1000-kV AC | 1,006 | 600\n\n+\/\u2212 800-kV DC | 3,334 | 593\n\n750-kV AC | 6,685 | 3,870\n\n+\/\u2212 660-kV DC | 1,095\n\n|\n\n500-kV AC | 135,180 | 69,843\n\n+\/\u2212 500-kV DC | 8,081 | 4,031\n\n330-kV | 20,338 | 6,457\n\n220-kV | 277,988 | 118,247\n\n66-\/110-kV | 458,477 | 125,224\n\n35-kV | 432,668 | 37,501\n\nTable A.3\n\nReliability rate of power supply for users in cities at the level of 1000-KV during the 11 th Five-Year Plan (2006\u20132010)\n\nYear | Reliability ratio of power supply\/% | Average blackout time\/hours\/household\n\n---|---|---\n\n2010 | 99.923 | 6.722\n\n2009 | 99.896 | 9.111\n\n2008 | 98.863 | 12.071\n\n2007 | 99.882 | 10.360\n\n2006 | 99.849 | 13.191\n\nTable A.4\n\nAdministrative regime of the power sector in China\n\nOrganization | Description\n\n---|---\n\nPower sector regime reform working group | \u2013 Theoretically enjoying top decision-making rights regarding the power regime reform\n\nNational Development and Reform Commission (NDRC) | \u2013 Responsible for long-term planning and for the issuance of energy-related Five-Year Plans\n\n\u2013 Approving important investment projects\n\n\u2013 Regulating energy and electricity prices\n\n\u2013 Proposing energy conservation and new energy development policies\n\nNational Energy Administration (NEA) | \u2013 Proposing the energy development strategy\n\n\u2013 Drafting energy development plans and industrial policies and organizing their implementation\n\n\u2013 Drafting all energy-related provision and rules\n\n\u2013 Advancing energy regime reforms\n\n\u2013 Coordinating key issues emerging in the process of energy development and reforms\n\n\u2013 Exercising regulations on power system construction, power safety, power supply and service, as well tariff and information disclosure\n\nMinistry of Finance (MOF) | \u2013 Responsible for final decisions on some matters concerning the financial code and financial costs standards\n\nProvincial Economic and Trade Commission (PETC) | \u2013 Acting as the regulator at local level and serving as coordinators; in practice, they also perform the functions of local regulation institutions\n\nState-owned Assets Supervision and Administration Commission of the State Council (SASAC) | \u2013 Supervising the performance of SOE\n\n\u2013 Appointing and dismissing SOE executives\n\n\u2013 Formulating auditing requests and approving key decisions\n\nMinistry of Environmental Protection (MEP) | \u2013 Responsible for tasks related to overall environmental protection\n\n\u2013 Cooperating with NEA in the performance of its duties\n\nState Administration of Work Safety (SAWS) | \u2013 Giving guidance to safety inspection and being responsible for industrial safety regulation\n\nTable A.5\n\nRegional and provincial grid operators in China\n\nSGCC\n\n---\n\nRegional subsidiaries | Provincial subsidiaries | Province\n\nNorth China Grid Ltd. | Beijing Electric Power Corporation | Beijing\n\nTianjin Electric Power Corporation | Tianjin\n\nHebei Electric Power Corporation | Hebei\n\nShanxi Electric Power Corporation | Shanxi\n\nInner Mongolia Autonomous Region Electric Power (Group) Co. Ltd. | Inner Mongolia\n\nShangdong Electric Power Corporation | Shangdong\n\nNortheast China Grid Company Ltd. | Liaoning Electric Power Corporation | Liaoning\n\nJilin Electric Power Corporation | Jilin\n\nHeilongjiang Electric Power Corporation | Heilongjiang\n\nEast China Grid Company Ltd. | Shanghai Electric Power Corporation | Shanghai\n\nJiangsu Electric Power Corporation | Jiangsu\n\nZhejiang Electric Power Corporation | Zhejiang\n\nAnhui Electric Power Corporation | Anhui\n\nFujian Electric Power Corporation | Fujian\n\nCentral China Grid Company Ltd. | Henan Electric Power Corporation | Henan\n\nHubei Electric Power Corporation | Hubei\n\nHunan Electric Power Corporation | Hunan\n\nJiangxi Electric Power Corporation | Jiangxi\n\nSichuan Electric Power Corporation | Sichuan\n\nChongqing Electric Power Corporation | Chongqing\n\nNorthwest China Grid Company Ltd. | Shaanxi Electric Power Corporation | Shaanxi\n\nGansu Electric Power Corporation | Gansu\n\nQinghai Electric Power Corporation | Qinghai\n\nNingxia Electric Power Corporation | Ningxia\n\nXinjiang Electric Power Corporation | Xinjiang\n\nCSG\n\n|\n\nProvincial subsidiaries | Province\n\n\u2013 | Guangdong Power Grid Corporation | Guangdong\n\nGuangxi Power Grid Corporation | Guangxi\n\nYunnan Power Grid Corporation | Yunnan\n\nGuizhou Power Grid Corporation | Guizhou\n\nHainan Power Grid Corporation | Hainan\n\nGrid operators non-affiliated to SGCC or CSG\n\n\u2013 | East Inner Mongolia Electric Power Company Ltd. | Inner Mongolia\n\nTibet Electric Power Company Ltd. | Tibet\n\nCLP Holdings Ltd. | Hongkong\n\nTable A.6\n\nShare of current application of ICT and challenges structured by voltage levels, adapted from [2]\n\nVoltage Level | ICT in use | Character | Requirement | Control Functions | Challenges\n\n---|---|---|---|---|---\n\nExtra-high-voltage\/High-voltage\n\n380-kV\/\n\n220-kV | Control systems\n\nFurther development | Quasi-real-time | Data security\n\nAvailability (24\/365)\n\nActive data management | f (Hz) | Wind\n\nTrade | The grids are increasingly being operated at the limit of their capacity\n\nHigh-voltage\n\n110-kV | Control systems\n\nTelecontrol systems | Quasi-real-time | Data security\n\nAvailability (24\/365)\n\nActive data management | Voltage | Wind, large PV plants\n\nBidirectional load flow\n\nDemand response\n\nMedium voltage\n\n10-kV\/20-kV | Tele-control systems\n\nConsumption metering | Not time-critical | Data collection and processing | In part voltage | Wind, PV\n\nRural areas\n\nOver 800 system operators\n\nBidirectional load flow\n\nDemand response\n\nReactive power provision\n\nLow voltage\n\n0.4-kV | \u2013 | \u2013 | \u2013 | \u2013 | Distributed feed-in especially PV\n\nRural areas\n\nActive customers (prosumers)\n\nVirtual power plant\n\nConsumption follows generation\n\nElectric mobility\n\nFig. A.1\n\nGermany's power grids in 2012 (\u00a9 VDE e. V. [3])\n\n## Appendix B \u2013 Bottom-up view on China's technological smart grid vision\n\nThe following descriptions and lists present a full picture of the modern grid technologies that are being deployed and tested in demonstration projects, individual cities, or individual provinces. These descriptions and lists have been provided by the Chinese expert team, and they represent the state-of-the-art of China's smart grid technologies.\n\nTransmission grids\n\n  * Control systems: SGCC has successfully developed a smart grid dispatching support system. In order to improve safe and stable operation, CSG carried out a series of advanced projects to improve the dispatching automation. An automatic dispatching system covering all dispatching areas has recently been completed; it is still based on a manual dispatcher but supplemented by automatic decisions. An integrated dispatching system is under construction; it will include strong simulation capability, off-line analysis, and decision-making capacity. Furthermore, research and pre-testing of intelligent system integration is in process.\n\n  * Power lines: Several UHV transmission lines constructed by SGCC and CSG have gone into normal operation in recent years. This technology is perceived as an important component of the Chinese smart grid vision.\n\n  * Transformers: At the end of December 2008, the 1,000-kV transformers manufactured by Baoding Tianwei Baobian Electrical Co., Ltd and TBEA Shenyang Transformer Co., Ltd all passed the pre-delivery test and on-site delivery test. On January 6 th 2009, they passed the 168-h assessment. The UHV transformer with single-unit capacity of 1,000 MVA and single-column capacity of 334 MVA is the largest in the world. Moreover, three of the largest transformer manufacturers in China have enjoyed enormous development in \u00b1 500-kV converter transformer by absorbing foreign technologies. Xian XD Transformer Co., Ltd has mastered the core technology for manufacturing \u00b1 500-kV DC power transmission devices with the capabilities of independent design and manufacturing. Now it has set up annual production of 18\u201350 \u00b1 500-kV converter transformers and smoothing reactors. Shenyang Transformer and Baobian Transformer have all introduced Siemens technologies. They have developed \u00b1 500-kV converter transformers jointly with Siemens and mastered the basic technology for designing and manufacturing converter transformers.\n\n  * Fixed series compensation: This technology is seen as one of the most important technologies for improving transmission and distribution grid capacities. Since 2000, China has witnessed rapid development and satisfactory results in the 500-kV fixed serial compensation technology. One of the important technical issues in the promotion of fixed series compensation technology is the stability of sub-synchronous resonance induced by the interaction between fixed series compensation and large-scale turbo-generators. Recently, domestic companies have achieved technical breakthroughs in this area. For example, Inner Mongolia Shangdu Power Plant has successfully resolved the problem of sub-synchronous resonance by using supplementary excitation damping control and shaft torsion. Their achievements have created a basis for further promotion of the technical application of fixed series compensation.\n\n  * Wires: CSG launched a pilot application of high-strength heat-resistant wires, carbon fiber wires, compact lines, and a helicopter patrolling line.\n\n  * Substations: SGCC has developed intelligent components of high-voltage (HV) switchgears, intelligent transformer components, modular intelligent HV vacuum circuit breakers with phase selection function, integrated monitoring systems based on a unified information platform, a time synchronization system, grid security and grid status monitoring equipment, data and event logging equipment, polymorphic remote viewing inspection and firefighting system, secondary equipment for online automatic calibration and early warning systems as well as other critical equipment and systems. Turning to CSG, they launched the promotion and application of digital substations. One 220-kV and seven 110-kV digital substations have been built. Furthermore, online equipment monitoring technology has been applied. Equipment condition monitoring centers and technical supervision centers are under construction. These centers will provide monitoring and early warning capability, fault diagnosis, status evaluation, risk assessment, maintenance strategies as well as asset management and maintenance decision support. In 2009, the company completed the formulation of the relevant technical specifications and acceptance codes, and in 2010 it built the provincial host station system.\n\n  * Gas insulated substations: Gas insulated substations have entered the application stage. Online ice monitoring and lightning detection monitoring tools have been gradually applied.\n\nDistribution grids\n\n  * Distribution grids with ring structures: SGCC has developed an intelligent environmentally friendly ring main unit, and an automatic distribution system. CSG has continued to expand the distribution grid structure of urban and rural distribution grids. The current distribution grid is still weak and most of the loads have single-supply access with T connections without ring structures.\n\n  * Troubleshooting and diagnosis: Currently, the troubleshooting and diagnostic work needs to be done manually. Distribution automation pilot installations exist only in large and medium-sized cities and mainly cover the telemetry data acquisition and monitoring, fault signal sending, problem solving and alarm, fault location and troubleshooting functions. The systems have information distribution and partition management functions via an integrated bus, in accordance with IEC61970 and IEC61968 public information model standards and distribution grid management system interface standard. They provide real-time information exchange and synchronization of data and models among distribution automation system and related automation systems.\n\nPower consumption\n\n  * Smart home and consumption systems: SGCC exploits smart technologies such as a chip dedicated to information collection, smart meters, smart appliances, smart sockets, smart interactive terminals, smart energy storage systems, power grid management terminals and systems, smart energy-using service systems, electric vehicle charging equipment, self-service electricity service terminals, information collection systems, and smart interactive terminal detection devices. CSG has built a market automation system, standardized market businesses, carried out research on the power supply customer service standardization system, and strengthened demand side management activities of large consumers.\n\n  * Market management systems: Through the construction of market and management systems in accordance with uniform technical specifications, Yunnan Power Grid Company and Hainan Power Grid Corporation have realized centralized provincial deployment systems, while other branch and subsidiary companies have deployed such systems at city level. In an effort to meet the actual needs of the power market, measurement automation systems have mainly encouraged off-peak power consumption and introduced electricity metering and monitoring, remote meter reading, and other functions.\n\n  * Electric vehicle charging: Various Chinese companies have started research on the key technology for electric vehicle charging. Electricity charging stations and poles for electric vehicles have been constructed as trial points in Shenzhen, and exchange electricity Experience Centers in Guangzhou.\n\nInformation and communication technology (ICT)\n\n  * ICT systems: SGCC has developed an optical phase conductor and the pertinent supporting equipment, information security technology inspection tools, and analysis platforms. It has also developed smart grid key equipment including intelligent switch combinations and electrical and optical fiber composite low-voltage cables, which have successfully been put into operation. Smart grid dispatching technology support systems, intelligent primary equipment and facilities for electric vehicle charging have achieved a major technological breakthrough. CSG has developed a common information model, enterprise data resource planning, SOA technical specifications as well as a series of technical standards. It has also undertaken the construction of a unified data center, an integrated distribution system, an enterprise cockpit, and a massive real-time data platform. In 2006\u20132010, the company launched the \"CSG 123 Plan\", which promotes unified business standards for the entire grid and unified information standards by building an integration system that includes IT infrastructure, technology architecture, and IT services to realize digitized grid support, informational business management as well as intelligent analysis and decision. As a result of this plan, the company has made remarkable achievements in terms of information technology, and information levels have been improved significantly: optical fiber communications now basically cover substations and generation stations for 110-kV and above. Emergency communication grids have been built. Distribution grid communication gives priority to optical fiber communication, public grid wireless communication, and medium voltage power line carrier communication. From an information security aspect, a series of technical standards and specifications involving information security protection technology have been worked out. System-level protection measures are being implemented in order to achieve information resource partition and hierarchical security protection. Information security technology and management systems have been developed, combining a variety of technical means including firewalls, intrusion detection systems, anti-virus systems, public key infrastructure, risk assessment, and other features.\n\nEnergy storage\n\n  * Pumped-storage power: Energy storage is of great significance for the development of smart grids. It can be applied in the case of peak shaving in electrical systems to solve the power utilization problem or to improve power supply quality and grid reliability. Meanwhile, it can also be used to control the fluctuation of the electricity system in order to enhance the safety of the grid and to foster optimal utilization of renewable energy and promote further developments in this area. By 2011, 11 pumped storage power stations had already been constructed with total installed capacity accounting for 1.8 % of overall installed power. With the construction of pumped storage power stations during the 11 th Five-Year Period, the dispatchable hydro power including that of pumped storage power stations in the whole country except for Hubei and Lasha will be 3\u20137 % of China's total installed capacity once they have been put into normal operation.\n\n  * New energy storage technologies: Significant progress has been made in research into new types of energy storage. In the past decades, organizations such as the Electrical Engineering Institute of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, the Beijing Feilun Energy Storage Flexible Research as well as some academic institutions have all been engaged in studying fly wheel energy storage. At present, important breakthroughs have been obtained in key technical fields such as superconductive magnetic levitation, high-speed motors, and power conversion. A research group at the Advanced Material Lab and Macromolecular Science Department of Fudan University has successfully developed a new kind of type of energy element-oriented carbon nano fiber. Based on this technology, a new type of solar fiber battery with a diameter of only 60\u2013100 micrometers can be manufactured, allowing PV conversion and energy storage in the same piece of fiber. In addition, China has also achieved lasting breakthroughs in research into energy storage using storage batteries. Since the research into battery supported energy storage with vanadium redox flow in 1995, China has developed a 10-kW-battery energy storage system and established battery energy storage lab modules. In 2008, China Electric Power Research Institute developed a 100-kW battery energy storage system applicable to wind power plants. In January 2011, China achieved an important breakthrough in the construction of large-capacity battery energy storage technology through the synchronization of a megawatt battery energy storage station of Southern Grid, a development representing material progress in the integrated application technology of Chinese large-capacity battery energy storage. The final construction scale of Southern Grid's 10-MW battery energy storage station is 10 MW for four hours with initial project construction of 5 MW for four hours. Currently, a 1-MW four-hour battery energy storage system has been successfully synchronized and put into normal operation.\n\n## Appendix C \u2013 Integration levels of China's power system components in 2012 and 2020\n\nThe system integration of China's power system components in 2012 and 2020 was discussed among the experts involved in the study generation process in the course of workshops carried out in Beijing in June 2013. In addition, the prevalence of market elements in 2012 and the targeted prevalence of market elements in 2020 were also discussed. In a first step, the experts agreed on the power system components and market elements that are relevant in China's current electric power system as well as on the corresponding components and elements in 2020 (see Fig. C.1 for a definition of the power system components and market elements).\n\nIn a second step, the experts developed a common understanding of the extent to which each single power system component is currently integrated in China's electric power grid. In other words, they examined whether the components are physically connected to the grid, remotely monitorable, remotely controllable, or autonomously controllable\/self-healing (see Table C.1 for a definition of integration levels). The targeted integration levels of the power systems components for 2020 were also discussed.\n\nAfter the Beijing workshops, an evaluation was made of the extent to which the market elements are currently used and will be used in 2020, ranging from demonstrational level to national level (see Table C.2 for a definition of these values). Figure C.2 shows China's current power grid integration as of 2012. The main findings are:\n\n  * In the area of power generation, it can be seen that monitoring and control technologies are common in conventional power plants but are rather seldom used with RES. More particularly, currently installed rooftop PV installations and biomass power plants are only physically connected to the grid, without the possibility of remote monitoring or any control functionalities.\n\n  * In the area of power logistics, China's transmission grids, the associated transformer substations, and the pumped storage power plants are currently already remotely controllable by the grid operator. On the distribution grid level, however, the various components' system integration levels are significantly lower \u2013 most of the components are not equipped with monitoring and control technologies.\n\n  * China's end consumers of electricity are for the most part physically connected to the power grid. Early examples of remote monitoring technologies are used only at industrial and commercial levels and for large-scale urban buildings.\n\n  * With respect to the prevalence of market elements, it can be stated that only few of these elements are currently used in China's power system: early demonstration projects for spot markets have been implemented by the grid operators and time-of-use pricing for residential consumers is being tested in the provinces. For the most part, China's electricity is still being traded at governmentally fixed prices. Elements such as futures markets, balancing markets, or capacity markets used in other countries have not yet been implemented in China.\n\nThe following advances are planned until 2020 (see Fig. C.3):\n\n  * In the power generation area, various energy sources are projected to have a place in the Chinese power system of 2020. All of them will be fully integrated in the power grid and most of them will reach the highest integration level so that they can autonomously react to grid and\/or market conditions. A comparison with the present situation reveals that especially RES are likely to make a big leap forward. While a considerable part of RES is currently not connected to the grid, grid access of RES will have become plug-and-play by 2020.\n\n  * In the area of power logistics, all voltage levels above 35-kV will have reached the highest level of system integration by 2020. Power grids and transformer substations at these voltage levels are projected to be enhanced with a large amount of control and monitoring devices so that they can react almost autonomously to unforeseen events. The distribution grids (voltage levels below 35-kV) and their associated local substations are projected to be either remotely monitorable or remotely controllable (depending on their location). This implies a significant improvement compared to their current system integration.\n\n  * With regard to power storage, hydro-pumped storage plants will be autonomously controllable and, compared to the situation of today, new power storage technologies will be developed and integrated in the grid. Smart meters will be widely used and reach higher integration values than today.\n\n  * In the power consumption area, industrial and commercial users \u2013 China's major power consumers \u2013 will be either remotely monitorable or remotely controllable in 2020. This means that grid operators and other players will be well informed with regard to their power consumption and have the opportunity to directly control some customers' loads. City dwellers residing in large buildings are expected to be fully integrated into the power grid with remote control activities by the grid operator. However, remote control activities are not planned for smaller, rural households. But even these customers will be remotely monitorable by means of smart meters. Advances are also projected to be made with regard to smart home technologies such as intelligent household devices and electric mobility being monitorable for grid operators.\n\n  * In the power trade and retail area many new types of markets are envisaged for 2020. Whereas today governmental price regulation leads to low penetration with market elements, spot markets (including futures markets), OTC, and balancing markets prominent in other countries will be used in China's power system of 2020. Also, carbon markets, capacity markets, and market-related elements such as virtual power plants (VPP), time-of-use tariffs, and smart products are expected to be part of China's power grid in 2020.\n\n##  Appendix D \u2013 Germany's smart grid vision according to the study Future Energy Grid\n\nUsing the three system layers presented in  Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b3  and eight different domains of the power sector representing particular sub-fields of the power sector supply chain, nineteen relevant smart grid technology areas were identified 1], [2]. The set of these technology areas, their individual maturity levels, and development stages describe Germany's smart grid vision. The respective maturity levels help to assess the speed of development of different smart grid technologies in Germany. The different technology areas are shown in [ Fig.\u200b 4.\u200b4  and are described in more detail in the remainder of this section.\n\nSmart grid technologies of the closed system layer\n\nThe closed system layer requires a high level of security as well as the capability of real-time communication since it is supposed to ensure the stability of the power system. Only few actors are granted with controlling access of this system layer. ICT components used within this system layer address the operation of the grid infrastructure and large-scale power stations. These components are classified into the following technology areas:\n\n  * Asset management systems (AMS) for grid components are employed to plan the usage of electrical equipment following technical and commercial constraints. Their focus is on grid infrastructure components and components of large conventional power stations. Today, AMS are mostly used for central assets managing static data. Automation of this process is only done for core components.\n\n  * Grid control systems are used for monitoring and controlling electrical transmission and distribution grids, or bulk generation units. Grid control systems are mainly deployed in transmission grids and distribution grids of 20-kV or 10-kV but rather seldom below.\n\n  * Wide area monitoring systems (WAMS) subsume technologies to measure, transfer, store, and visualize time-synchronized values with high temporal resolution. WAMS are currently used in some selected areas of transmission grids. The application within the distribution grids is evaluated in single pilot projects.\n\n  * Grid automation refers to ICT components at the substation or field level processing data from grid components, measuring transducers, and giving control signals. Germany's high voltage segment is currently already automated. In medium and low voltage grids, automation solutions are subject to evaluation in a variety of field tests.\n\n  * Flexible control and AC transmission systems (FACTS) represent power electronic control systems which are used to affect the power flows or voltage levels in the electricity grids. Currently, FACTS are occasionally used only in the transmission grids.\n\nSmart grid technologies of the ICT infrastructure layer\n\nThe ICT infrastructure layer accounts for the communication between the closed and the networked system layer. The technology area associated with this layer therefore deals with the interface functionality required for the realization of smart grids:\n\n  * ICT connectivity refers to the prerequisites regarding the communication infrastructure and the amount and scope of the information exchange used in the power system. Thereby, the ICT connectivity accounts for the quality-of-service level regarding the discovery and accessibility of services. The transmission grids are currently equipped with ICT infrastructures using point-to-point connections and proprietary interfaces. In contrast to that, the distribution grid is normally not yet equipped with ICT infrastructures.\n\nSmart grid technologies of the networked system layer\n\nThe networked system layer is distinct regarding the high amount of heterogeneous stakeholders and power system components it is supposed to connect. It is expected that this system layer will gain more and more importance in the future, especially with respect to the rising amount of renewable generation. Therefore, this layer is expected to become system-critical in the process of developing robust smart grids and smart markets. The layer subsumes the following technology areas:\n\n  * Asset management for distributed energy resources refers to the processing of operational and commercial data regarding power system assets. Distributed energy resources are referred separately because currently no end-to-end asset management systems exist for medium and small generation units which are expected to be of high importance for the development of smart grids in Germany.\n\n  * Regional energy marketplaces are established to enable market participation for industrial, commercial and domestic customers, thereby taking requirements regarding grid operation, especially for the distribution grids, into account. First demonstrators of regional energy market places were evaluated in pilot projects, e. g. the E-Energy model regions.\n\n  * Trade control systems support the analysis of relevant data and the subsequent planning and execution of energy trading activities. Current systems support trading on the spot and day-ahead markets, as well as energy portfolio management.\n\n  * Forecasting systems compute state estimations of various measurement parameters. Examples for this are forecasts regarding electricity generation subject to weather conditions or the price elasticity of electricity demand.\n\n  * Business services comprise technologies concerning the efficient use of resources, low costs, high availability and reliability in the context of important business processes of the energy sector. Main challenges in this area address the extension of service offerings for customers, handling of big data, cloud computing and the optimization of the supply chain across enterprise boundaries. Currently, processes prescribed by laws and regulations are fully supported. Additional services address basic customer management functions and the billing of electricity consumption.\n\n  * Virtual power plant (VPP) systems aggregate power generation, storage and consumption units. This way the provision of effective and balancing power as well as system services is optimized. Today, VPP are used to provide balancing power. The installations are heterogeneous.\n\n  * Plant communication and control modules refer to embedded systems, similar to grid automation components, providing access to distributed generation, storage or consumption units for data reading and control signal processing. Today, the communication interfaces of distributed energy resources are mostly proprietary. Their main function is disconnection from the grid.\n\n  * The advanced metering infrastructure (AMI) provides remote access to energy consumption data. In later development stages, this shall lead to advanced smart meter processes, e. g. for calculation of grid conditions. Standardization, security, and mass data processing are key capabilities in this area. Today, there are no large-scale installations in Germany due to missing regulatory action. Functionalities and interfaces are proprietary.\n\n  * Smart appliances refer to equipment in households, buildings or small enterprises possessing communication and control capabilities. The provision of a standardized infrastructure is currently one of the main challenges within this area. While smart appliances may not be essential regarding the technical smart grid infrastructure itself, they are expected to have a high market potential in the future. Currently, energy management systems (e. g. in the areas of lighting and heating) operate independently from the grid. Energy-related apps (e. g. for usage on smart phones or tablet computers) are developed and offered in the context of pilot projects.\n\n  * Industrial demand side management\/demand response subsumes the integration between the requirements of the electrical infrastructure with those of industrial processes. This includes the possibility to take influence on industrial assets from outside the enterprises. DSM is motivated by pricing of electrical energy: the industrial enterprise tries to match its operations to the development of market prices. The enterprise may also agree to manually reduce their load on request of the grid operator. Automatic load shedding possibilities are partially realized in the context of industrial operations.\n\nCross-cutting technologies\n\nBeyond the sixteen functional technology areas introduced above, there are three key issues regarding quality aspects of the future smart grid vision in Germany. They are regarded as cross-cutting issues which have to be separately considered in context of each functional area.\n\n  * Integration technologies address the aspect of interoperability being of critical importance for smart grids as ICT-based systems.\n\n  * Management of data refers to procedures regarding structuring, aggregation, analysis, processing, and storage of high amounts of distributed and heterogeneous data.\n\n  * Security, in terms of information security, provides procedures to protect the stakeholders of the power systems as well as the infrastructure. Key requirements refer to the aspects of availability, confidentiality, and integrity.\n\n## Appendix E \u2013 Extracts from specific laws\n\nDirective 2009\/72\/EC, Article 37\n\n\"Energy regulators should have the power to issue binding decisions in relation to electricity undertakings and to impose effective, proportionate and dissuasive penalties on electricity undertakings which fail to comply with their obligations or to propose that a competent court impose such penalties on them. Energy regulators should also be granted the power to decide, irrespective of the application of competition rules, on appropriate measures ensuring customer benefits through the promotion of effective competition necessary for the proper functioning of the internal market in electricity. [...]\n\nEnergy regulators should also be granted the power to contribute to ensuring high standards of universal and public service in compliance with market opening, to the protection of vulnerable customers, and to the full effectiveness of consumer protection measures. Those provisions should be without prejudice to both the Commission's powers concerning the application of competition rules including the examination of mergers with a Community dimension, and the rules on the internal market such as the free movement of capital. The independent body to which a party affected by the decision of a national regulator has a right to appeal could be a court or other tribunal empowered to conduct a judicial review.\"\n\nSource: Wording from The European Parliament and the Council of the European Union [1]\n\nRoles and Responsibilities of smart grid actors according to SGTF\n\n  * \" Transmission System Operator (TSO): according to the Article 2.4 of the Electricity Directive 2009\/72\/EC (Directive): \"a natural or legal person responsible for operating, ensuring the maintenance of and, if necessary, developing the transmission system in a given area and, where applicable, its interconnections with other systems, and for ensuring the long-term ability of the system to meet reasonable demands for the transmission of electricity\". Moreover, the TSO is responsible for connection of all grid users at the transmission level and connection of the DSOs within the TSO control area.\n\n  * Distribution System Operator (DSO): according to the Article 2.6 of the Directive: \"a natural or legal person responsible for operating, ensuring the maintenance of and, if necessary, developing the distribution system in a given area and, where applicable, its interconnections with other systems and for ensuring the long-term ability of the system to meet reasonable demands for the distribution of electricity\". Moreover, the DSO is responsible for regional grid access and grid stability, integration of renewables at the distribution level and regional load balancing.\n\n  * Generator: Generating electricity, contributing actively to voltage and reactive power control, required to provide the relevant data (information on outages, forecast, actual production) to the energy marketplace (see also the Articles 2.1 and 2.2 of the Directive).\n\n  * Electricity Installer\/Contractor: Electrical contractors design, install and maintain intelligent systems for all kinds of industrial, commercial and domestic purposes. Alongside the power and lighting applications, they equally install ICT and telecommunications, public street lighting, high medium and low voltage lines, control and energy management systems, access, fire and security control equipment, lightning protection systems, advertising and identification signs, emergency power generating systems and renewable energy systems.\n\n  * Industrial customer: A large consumer of electricity in an industrial\/manufacturing industry. May be involved in contract based Demand\/Response.\n\n  * Transportation customer: A consumer of electricity providing transport systems. May be involved in contract based Demand\/Response.\n\n  * Buildings: A consumer of electricity which is a private or business building, may also be involved in contract-based Demand\/Response.\n\n  * Home customer: A residential consumer of electricity (including also agriculture users) may also be involved in contract-based Demand\/Response.\n\n  * Supplier [in the area of grid users] : A grid user who has a grid connection and access contract with the TSO or DSO. Moreover, suppliers are those actors which will provide new services, real-time information, energy efficiency services and dynamic energy pricing concepts with Time-of-Use (ToU). The suppliers also provide local aggregation of demand and supply, in order to increase the effectiveness and efficiency of the electricity supply at all voltage levels (including low\/medium voltage levels).\n\n  * Retailer: Entity selling electrical energy to consumers \u2013 could also be a grid user who has a grid connection and access contract with the TSO or DSO.\n\n  * Power Exchange: Provides a market place for trading physical and financial (capacity\/energy and derivates) contracts for capacity allocation by implicit auctions within the defined country, region or cross border.\n\n  * Balance Responsible Party: Ensures that the supply of electricity corresponds to the anticipated consumption of electricity during a given time period and financially regulates for any imbalance that arises.\n\n  * Clearing & Settlement Agent: Assumes liability for clearing and\/or settlement of contracts and provides contractual counterparty within a Power Exchange and for over-the-counter (OTC) contracts.\n\n  * Trader: A person or entity that buys and sells energy goods and services in an organized electricity market (Power Exchange) or over-the-counter.\n\n  * Supplier [in the areas of energy market places]: Has a contractual agreement with end customer relating to the supply of electricity.\n\n  * Aggregator: offers services to aggregate energy production from different sources (generators) and acts towards the grid as one entity, including local aggregation of demand (Demand Response management) and supply (generation management). In cases where the aggregator is not a supplier, it maintains a contract with the supplier.\n\n  * Electric Power Grid Equipment vendors\n\n  * Ancillary Services providers\n\n  * Metering operator: the entity which offers services to provide, install and maintain metering equipment related to a supply. In most EU Member States the DSO is also metering operator. In case of a specific contractual basis, the contract is mostly with the network operator, or may be with the customer or the supplier. The meter may be rented to, or exceptionally owned by, the customer.\n\n  * Information & Communication Technology (ICT) service providers\n\n  * Grid communications network providers Plan, build and maintain the communications systems that enable the data communication required to maintain grid stability, load balancing and fault protection systems by a TSO or DSO. This function is mostly executed by the TSO or the DSO, or may be performed by an independent actor but the overall responsibility and ownership of information remains with TSO and DSO. Grid communications network provider ensures compliance with the agreed service levels (Service Level Agreements including quality of service, data security and privacy) and compliance with any national and\/or international regulations as necessary.\n\n  * Home Appliances vendors\n\n  * Building Energy Management Systems (BEMS) providers , delivering the systems which facilitate management and control of building facilities, realizing energy saving and increasing comfortability of users of buildings and making full use of the state-of-the-art Information Technology.\n\n  * Electric Transportation\/Vehicle Solutions providers\n\n  * Grid User\/Customer\/Consumer: Entity or person being delivered electricity. How a customer perceives the value received from other actors in the electricity supply chain has a substantial influence on the economic viability of the grid in general and on the overall acceptance of how the electricity supply chain performs.\n\n  * Regulator: Independent body responsible for the definition of framework (market rules), for setting up of system charges (tariffs), monitoring of the functioning and performance of energy markets and undertaking any necessary measures to ensure effective and efficient market, non-discriminative treatment of all actors and transparency and involvement of all affected stakeholders.\n\n  * Standardization bodies: Responsible for standardization of all relevant elements and components within the electricity supply chain, which in turn leads to harmonization of relevant services, support towards removing barriers to trade, creating new market opportunities and reducing manufacturing costs.\n\n  * EU and national legislation authorities: Entities are in charge of defining legislation and metrics for areas such as environmental policy, social policy, energy policy and economic policy. They are also responsible for the authorization needed to develop the electricity grid infrastructure.\n\n  * Financial Sector undertakings: Provide capital to other actors or invest themselves into the projects within the electricity supply chain (grid, generation, etc.).\"\n\nSource: Wording from the EU Commission Task Force for Smart Grids, Expert Group 3 [2]\n\nEEG \u2013 paragraphs 1\u20133 of part 2, chapter 2, section 11\n\n1)\n\nNotwithstanding their obligation in accordance with section 9, grid system operators shall be entitled, by way of exception, to take technical control over installations connected to their grid system with a capacity of over 100 kilowatts for the generation of electricity from renewable energy sources, combined heat and power generation or mine gas, if\n\na)\n\nthe grid capacity in the respective grid system area would otherwise be overloaded on account of that electricity,\n\nb)\n\nthey have ensured that the largest possible quantity of electricity from renewable energy sources and from combined heat and power generation is being purchased, and\n\nc)\n\nthey have called up the data on the current feed-in situation in the relevant region of the grid system.\n\nTaking technical control over installations in accordance with the first sentence above shall only be permitted for a transitional period until measures referred to in section 9 are concluded.\n\n2)\n\nThe rights under section 13(1) and section 14(1) of the Energy Industry Act of 7 July 2005 shall continue to apply vis-\u00e0-vis the operators of installations for the generation of electricity from renewable energy sources, combined heat and power generation or from mine gas where the measures in accordance with subsection (1)\n\n3)\n\nGrid system operators shall, upon the request of those installation operators whose installations were affected by measures referred to in subsection (1) above, provide verification, within four weeks, for the need for the measure. The verification must enable a qualified third party to fully understand the need for the measures without any additional information; particularly the data ascertained in accordance with subsection (1) first sentence no. 3 above shall serve that purpose.\n\nSource: Wording from the BMUB [3]\n\nEEG \u2013 paragraphs 1\u20133 of part 2, chapter 2, section 12\n\n1)\n\nThe grid system operator whose grid system gives rise to the need for the assumption of technical control under section 11(1) shall compensate those installation operators who, on account of the measures under section 11(1), were not able to feed-in electricity to the extent agreed upon. Where no agreement has been reached, the lost tariffs and revenues from the use of heat less the expenses saved shall be paid.\n\n2)\n\nThe grid system operator may, when determining the charges for use of the grid system, add any charges arising on account of subsection (1) above if the measure was necessary and he bears no responsibility for it. The grid system operator shall, in particular, bear responsibility if he did not exhaust all the options for optimizing, boosting and expanding the grid system.\n\n3)\n\nClaims for compensation made by installation operators against the grid system operator shall remain unaffected.\n\nSource: Wording from the BMUB [3]\n\n## Appendix F \u2013 Further results from the European Mandate M\/490\n\nFigure F.1 outlines the application process of these use cases with reference to the SGAM (WG RA), the results of the WG SGIS and the set of standards compiled by the WG FSS.\n\nThe objective of WG SGIS was to support the analyses regarding information security for smart grids (see [1]). The group identified pertinent standards and assigned them to the needs of the stakeholders. Confidentiality, integrity, and availability were considered as the key requirements regarding information security in this context. The SGIS methodology supports the assignment of weights regarding these aspects.\n\nStructural elements of the approach were used in form of a security view assigned to the SGAM, the SGIS security levels as well as the smart grid data protection classes. Starting with the collection of use cases, the assessment process (referenced as the SGIS toolbox shown in Fig. F.2) includes the assessment of risk impact levels (1\u20135) for the assets in context of scenarios addressing the key requirements of confidentiality, integrity, and availability. The combination of these impact levels with their likelihood leads to the assignment of an overall security level. Appropriate standards are afterwards assigned as countermeasures appropriate to the individual security level.\n\nThe first iteration of Mandate M\/490 was completed in November 2012. A second iteration for 2013 to 2014 is currently ongoing, its main focus being the implementation and further refinement of the methodologies of the first iteration and development of a second set of standards as well as system interoperability testing methods and a conformance testing map.\n","meta":{"redpajama_set_name":"RedPajamaBook"}}
+{"text":" \nMore than just make-believe\n\nLibrarian Phoebe O'Dunn deals in stories, but her passion for history has taught her that happy endings are rare. Her life in Knights Bridge, Massachusetts, is safe and uneventful...until she discovers the hidden room.\n\nAmong its secrets is a cache of vintage clothing, including a spectacular gown\u2014perfect for a gala masquerade in Boston. In the guise of a princess, Phoebe is captivated by a handsome swashbuckler who's also adopted a more daring persona. Noah Kendrick's wealth has made him wary, especially of women: everybody wants something.\n\nWhen Noah and Phoebe meet again in Knights Bridge, at first neither recognizes the other. And neither one is sure they can trust the magic of the night they shared\u2014until an unexpected threat prompts them to unmask their truest selves.\n\nAfter all, it takes more than just the right costume to live out your personal fairy tale. It takes heart...and the courage to be more than you ever dreamed.\nPraise for\n\nand her novels\n\n\"[A] beautifully described tale that rewards readers with an intriguing mystery as well as a deliciously satisfying romance.\"  \n\u2014Library Journal on Secrets of the Lost Summer\n\n\"Neggers captures readers' attention with her usual flair and brilliance and gives us a romance, a mystery and a lesson in history.\"  \n\u2014Top Pick, RT Book Reviews on Secrets of the Lost Summer\n\n\"Only a writer as gifted as Carla Neggers could use so few words to convey so much action and emotional depth.\"  \n\u2014Sandra Brown\n\n\"With a great plot and excellent character development, Neggers' thriller, Saint's Gate, the first in a new series, is a fast-paced, action-packed tale of romantic suspense that will appeal to fans of Lisa Jackson and Lisa Gardner.\"  \n\u2014Library Journal\n\n\"Saint's Gate is the best book yet from a writer at the absolute top of her craft.\"  \n\u2014Providence Journal\n\n\"Cold Pursuit is the perfect name for this riveting read. Neggers' passages are so descriptive that one almost finds one's teeth chattering from fear and anticipation.\"  \n\u2014Bookreporter.com\n\n\"[Neggers] forces her characters to confront issues of humanity, integrity and the multifaceted aspects of love without slowing the ever-quickening pace.\"  \n\u2014Publishers Weekly\nAlso by Carla Neggers\n\nHERON'S COVE  \nSECRETS OF THE LOST SUMMER  \nSAINT'S GATE  \nTHE WHISPER  \nCOLD DAWN  \nCOLD RIVER  \nTHE MIST  \nBETRAYALS  \nCOLD PURSUIT  \nTEMPTING FATE  \nTHE ANGEL  \nABANDON  \nCUT AND RUN  \nTHE WIDOW  \nBREAKWATER  \nDARK SKY  \nTHE RAPIDS  \nNIGHT'S LANDING  \nCOLD RIDGE  \nTHE HARBOR  \nSTONEBROOK COTTAGE  \nTHE CABIN  \nTHE CARRIAGE HOUSE  \nTHE WATERFALL  \nON FIRE  \nKISS THE MOON  \nCLAIM THE CROWN\n\nTo my three sisters, Bonnie, Hilda and Gretchen\u2014nothing like jumping into a cold brook on a hot summer day!\nContents\n\nOne\n\nTwo\n\nThree\n\nFour\n\nFive\n\nSix\n\nSeven\n\nEight\n\nNine\n\nTen\n\nEleven\n\nTwelve\n\nThirteen\n\nFourteen\n\nFifteen\n\nSixteen\n\nSeventeen\n\nEighteen\n\nNineteen\n\nTwenty\n\nTwenty-One\n\nTwenty-Two\n\nTwenty-Three\n\nDear Reader\nOne\n\nBumblebees hummed in the frothy catmint on the edge of the stone terrace, the only sound to disturb the hot New England summer afternoon. Phoebe O'Dunn watched a solo bee hover above a purple blossom, as if debating what to do, then dart past the green-painted bench where she was seated and disappear across the herb and flower gardens. None of its fellow bumblebees followed.\n\nPhoebe had met on the terrace with her sister Maggie and her friend Olivia Frost to discuss the upcoming vintage fashion show at their small-town library, but inevitably talk had turned to the charity masquerade ball tomorrow night in Boston, two hours away. Maggie and Olivia were going. Phoebe wasn't, but she just might be able to help with costumes.\n\nThe dresses would be perfect.\n\nIf she'd had any doubts, they'd been dispelled when Maggie and Olivia sank into their chairs at the round, natural-wood table across the terrace and said they were stumped. With just twenty-four hours before they had to leave Knights Bridge for Boston, they had no idea what to wear.\n\nPhoebe did. She'd already had the dresses cleaned and now they were hanging in the back room at her little house on Thistle Lane, just off the Knights Bridge common. She hadn't mentioned them yet because\u2014well, she didn't know why, except that she couldn't help feeling as if she were handling someone else's secrets. She'd discovered the dresses two weeks ago in a mysterious hidden room in the library attic. So far she hadn't told anyone about them or the room.\n\n\"We should have figured this out sooner,\" Maggie said from the shaded table. Like Phoebe, Maggie had wild strawberry-blond hair, hers a tone darker and four inches shorter. And they had freckles. Lots of freckles, Maggie especially.\n\n\"Dylan didn't give us much notice,\" Olivia said without a hint of criticism. Her fianc\u00e9, Dylan McCaffrey, had purchased tickets to the masquerade ball to support the cause, a neonatal intensive care unit at a Boston hospital. He'd handed them to Olivia just before he and several friends took off to the White Mountains for a few days of hiking. She added with a sigh, \"I've never been to a masquerade.\"\n\n\"Neither have I,\" Maggie said. \"We must know someone in Boston who can help with costumes.\"\n\nPhoebe listened to the bumblebees hard at work in the catmint. She and Maggie had been friends with Olivia since preschool. They were gathered in Olivia's backyard. Fair-haired and pretty, she'd returned to Knights Bridge in the spring to convert her classic 1803 center-chimney house into The Farm at Carriage Hill. In the process, she'd met and fallen in love with Dylan, a former hockey player, now a wealthy San Diego businessman. His arrival in Knights Bridge had turned the out-of-the-way rural Massachusetts town on its head.\n\nPushing back stray curls, Phoebe got to her feet. She and Maggie both wore sundresses and sandals, but Olivia had on shorts and an old T-shirt after spending the morning in her gardens. When she'd left Boston, she'd put her graphic design skills and boundless energy to work in transforming her historic house into an idyllic spot for showers, meetings, girlfriend weekends and the occasional wedding\u2014including her sister's upcoming wedding in September and her own in December.\n\n\"You've been awfully quiet, Phoebe,\" Olivia said. \"Any ideas what we could wear?\"\n\n\"I was just thinking...\" Phoebe tried to sound casual. \"What if you two dressed up as Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly?\"\n\nOlivia pushed back her chair and eyed Phoebe with obvious interest. \"How would we pull off Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly? Do you have something in mind?\"\n\nMaggie, a caterer with two young sons, stood with her iced tea, the sprig of peppermint and wedge of lemon that she'd artfully hooked onto the glass now floating among the ice cubes. She cast Phoebe an amused look. \"Do you see me as Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly? Either one?\"\n\nPhoebe smiled at her sister. \"Sure, why not?\"\n\n\"You really do have an imagination,\" Maggie said. \"What are they, dresses that came in for the vintage fashion show?\"\n\nPhoebe hesitated, framing her explanation. As director of the Knights Bridge Free Public Library, the vintage fashion show was her brainchild, an end-of-the-summer event that would involve the entire community. It would showcase clothing from 1900 to 1975. The various library reading groups were focusing on twentieth-century books, the historical society was helping out, local businesses were donating food and staging materials\u2014it was an all-consuming project that now, finally, was well in hand.\n\nPhoebe had discovered the tiny hidden room while looking through the library attic for anything she could use for the show. It was as if she'd stepped into a time capsule, a secret hideaway. The room was filled with reproductions of dresses from movies up through the 1960s and from different historical periods\u2014Medieval, Regency, Victorian, Edwardian, Roaring Twenties.\n\nWho could have predicted such a thing?\n\nShe wanted to know more before she told anyone. Who had set up the room? Who had worked there, left everything behind? Why?\n\nDid anyone else know about it?\n\nShe'd started volunteering at the library as a teenager and working there in college, and she'd never heard a word about a hidden attic room.\n\nFinally she said, \"Everyone's been going through trunks and boxes in closets and attics for the fashion show. It's been loads of fun so far.\"\n\nOlivia nodded. \"I helped Gran load up her car trunk with old clothes from her and her friends. They're all getting a kick out of the idea.\"\n\n\"I can think of several dresses that would be perfect for a costume ball,\" Phoebe said. \"Two in particular. I'm not positive about sizes, but we can alter them if we need to.\"\n\n\"Easier to take in a seam than let one out,\" Maggie muttered.\n\n\"If we need to let out seams, we could add a strip of similar or contrasting fabric,\" Olivia said. \"It's a costume ball. No one's going to kick us out if our costumes are a little quirky.\"\n\n\"You'll be wearing masks, too,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"Ah, yes. Plausible deniability.\" Olivia grinned, obviously liking that idea. \"No one else has to know it's me trying to pass myself off as Audrey Hepburn.\"\n\n\"Not as Audrey Hepburn herself,\" Phoebe amended. \"As one of the characters she played.\"\n\nOlivia laughed. \"Well, that just makes all the difference, doesn't it? Hey, if one of these outfits works, I'm all for it.\"\n\n\"Me, too,\" Maggie said, with somewhat less confidence. \"You're sure it's all right? We won't be stepping on anyone's toes borrowing a couple of the dresses?\"\n\n\"It'll be fine,\" Phoebe said, leaving it at that. \"Why don't you come by my cottage later? We can open a bottle of wine and you can see if the dresses work for you.\"\n\n\"What about you, Phoebe?\" Olivia asked. \"You have to come with us now. We can't go off to the ball like the wicked stepsisters and leave you sweeping the ashes out of the fireplace. Dylan left a half-dozen tickets. No one will use them if we don't.\"\n\nWhenever Olivia mentioned Dylan, Phoebe could see how very much her friend was in love with him.\n\nA happy ending.\n\nPhoebe's favorite books and movies were ones with happy endings, and she welcomed a real-life romantic happy ending, as rare as it could be.\n\nShe waved off a bee that had found its way to her. \"It's very generous of Dylan. A neonatal ICU is a great cause, and it'll be a wonderful night for everyone, I'm sure, but I can't go.\"\n\n\"Why not?\" Maggie asked, obviously skeptical.\n\n\"I have things to do.\" Phoebe glanced at her watch and winced. It really was later than she expected. \"I have to get back to the library. I have story hour, but I'll be home by six if you want to come by then.\"\n\n\"We'll be there,\" Olivia said, then turned to Maggie. \"I guess I shouldn't speak for you.\"\n\n\"Wouldn't miss it,\" Maggie said. \"I want to see these dresses and I need a costume.\"\n\nAware of her sister's eyes on her, Phoebe offered to help clear the table of the iced-tea glasses and plates of tarts they had sampled for possible addition to the Carriage Hill catering menu, but Olivia shooed her away. \"You need to get to story hour. The kids will get restless if you're late.\"\n\n\"An understatement,\" Phoebe said with a smile as she snatched a tiny apple-pear tart. \"This one's my favorite, but they're all fabulous. I'm off. I'll see you later.\"\n\nInstead of going back through the house and disturbing Olivia's dog, Buster, asleep in the mudroom, Phoebe followed a bark-mulch path through basil, oregano and dill plants soaking up the summer sun, then crossed a patch of shaded lawn and went around the side of the house to the front yard.\n\nShe had the door open to her Subaru, which she'd owned since she'd started commuting to the University of Massachusetts in nearby Amherst, when her sister burst out from the kitchen ell, a later addition to Olivia's old house. Phoebe didn't have a chance to get into the car before Maggie flew down the front walk and caught up with her.\n\n\"Phoebe, what on earth is wrong with you?\"\n\nShe knew exactly what her sister was getting at. \"I pay my own way, Maggie. You know that.\"\n\n\"It's not as if Dylan offered to pay off your mortgage for you. The tickets are his donation to a worthy cause. It looks good if the ball is well attended. It's great publicity for the neonatal ICU and what it does, and it gets other people thinking about giving. Everyone wins.\" Maggie sighed at her older sister. \"We can't be grinds all the time.\"\n\n\"I'm not a grind,\" Phoebe said. \"I love what I do. I have fun\u2014\"\n\n\"And you live within your means and never take a false step,\" Maggie finished for her, then winced. \"Sorry. That came out wrong.\"\n\n\"It's okay. It's just...\" Phoebe stared at the tiny tart in her hand, suddenly wishing she had left it on the table. \"It's a slippery slope, wanting more than you can have, but I take lots of false steps. We all do. I'm not being morally superior.\"\n\n\"Oh, Phoebe, I know. You're the kindest person in Knights Bridge. Probably in all of New England.\" Maggie's rich turquoise eyes shone with emotion. \"I just don't want you to miss out on a good time.\"\n\n\"Dressing you and Olivia for a masquerade will be a great time,\" Phoebe said, smiling at her sister. \"I have to go. Those boys of yours will be tearing up the library.\"\n\nMaggie groaned. \"They'll be full of energy after spending the day with Mom. She lets them do whatever they want. When I picked them up yesterday, they were helping her muck out the goat barn. Knee-deep in you-know-what. I wouldn't care except they didn't have a change of clothes. I'll never get the smell out of my van.\"\n\n\"It'll wear off in time but you probably don't want catering clients to get a whiff.\"\n\n\"No kidding.\"\n\nPhoebe commiserated even as she was amused at the image of her mother and her young nephews. \"I'll see you in a little while. I hope I wasn't rude to Olivia\u2014\"\n\n\"You weren't, and she'd understand if you were. Don't worry. She's trying to figure out things herself. This is new territory for her. For Dylan, too. He never pictured himself living in a little town like Knights Bridge until he met Olivia. He obviously still loves San Diego, too.\" Maggie stepped back from Phoebe's car and waved a hand. \"They'll figure it out. I should have such problems.\"\n\n\"What would you do with a fortune like Dylan has?\"\n\nHer eyes flashed with humor. \"Get someone to paint my house. I hate ladders.\"\n\nPhoebe laughed as she climbed into her car, but she also felt a pang of uncertainty about what was next for Dylan and his millions, and what it would mean for quiet, picturesque Knights Bridge.\n\nShe left her car windows open and drove back toward town. She could smell the clean, cool water of a stream that ran along the edge of the narrow road. Carriage Hill was the last house on the dead-end road, two miles from the Knights Bridge village center. The road hadn't always been a dead end. Once it had wound into the heart of the picturesque Swift River Valley. That was before four small valley towns were depopulated in the 1930s and deliberately flooded to create Quabbin Reservoir. The reservoir now provided pure drinking water for metropolitan Boston.\n\nBoston must have seemed so far away back then.\n\nIt seemed far enough away now. Barely two hours, but so different from her life in Knights Bridge. She'd never lived anywhere else. Olivia and Maggie had both lived in Boston for a few years before returning to their hometown, Olivia in March, Maggie last fall. Phoebe's biggest move had been from her mother's house\u2014or madhouse, as she and her sisters would say fondly\u2014to her own place on Thistle Lane. It was a cottage, really. Perfect for just her. She could even walk to her job at the library.\n\nPhoebe appreciated the peaceful back road as she pulled her thoughts together. Story hours were a favorite part of her job, but her visit with Maggie and Olivia had left her feeling edgy and frayed.\n\nQuestioning, wanting...dreaming.\n\nI like my life, she reminded herself as she came into Knights Bridge center, known as one of the prettiest villages in New England with its shaded town common surrounded by classic houses, a town hall, library, church and country store.\n\nPhoebe parked in front of the library, a solid, rambling brick building filled with endless nooks and crannies. Persistent stories said the library was haunted, to the point that the producers of a television series about ghosts had considered it for a show before choosing another supposedly haunted New England library. Phoebe often heard creaks, groans, moans, whistles and\u2014once\u2014what she would have sworn were whispers. But she'd never considered she might encounter an actual ghost.\n\nSpecifically, George Sanderson, founder of the library in 1872.\n\nUpon his death in 1904, he left the library his extensive collection of books and archives, a Steinway baby grand piano and a dozen straw hats made at one of the small mills he'd owned in the valley. The last Sanderson had vacated Knights Bridge during the Depression, when the family mills were demolished ahead of the damming of the Swift River for Quabbin. Homes, businesses, barns, fences, trees\u2014everything in the valley went. Even graves were moved to a new cemetery on the southern end of the reservoir.\n\nOld George's portrait still hung above the fireplace in the library's main room. He was handsome and stern-looking, not exactly the sort Phoebe imagined would encourage story hours for small children. As she headed up the sunlit brick walk, she heard squeals of laughter through the open front window, where the children's section was located.\n\nHer five-year-old nephew, Aidan, Maggie's younger son, pressed his face against the window screen. \"Hey, Aunt Phoebe!\"\n\n\"Aidan Sloan, do not poke that screen,\" she said firmly, picking up her pace.\n\nHe giggled and disappeared from sight.\n\nPhoebe ran up the steps and went inside, welcoming the cool, solid wood-paneled interior, hardly changed since the library was built to George Sanderson's specifications. The main room included a small stage, the piano tucked on one end. Before Phoebe's arrival as director, the library had seldom used the stage and the trustees had complained about the \"wasted space.\" With careful planning, she'd gained their support and found the money to launch a modest concert series, with musicians who didn't expect more than a few dozen in the audience, and opened up the stage for art and garden shows. It was where the library would hold its vintage fashion show in less than two weeks.\n\nWe make use of all that we have.\n\nThat was Phoebe's motto for the library as well as her own life. Why moan about what she didn't have when so much was right within her grasp?\n\nHer older nephew, Tyler, almost seven, was sitting cross-legged on the hardwood floor in front of the stage with a book about raptors in his lap. \"Aunt Phoebe, did you know that raptors have three eyelids?\"\n\n\"In fact, I did, Tyler.\" She laughed. \"You'd be surprised at what a librarian knows. Would you like to see a raptor's eyelids sometime?\"\n\nHe nodded eagerly.\n\n\"We'll have to figure that out, then. Right now, though, let's go in with the other kids.\"\n\n\"I want to stay here.\"\n\nTyler\u2014as redheaded as his mother\u2014preferred to read a book on his own than to be read to, especially with his squirming younger brother. Phoebe put out a hand, but he ignored it and stood up on his own. He shuffled past her into the children's section, his head down, shoulders slumped, as if she'd asked him to walk the plank.\n\nHe and Aidan would be tired after spending most of the day with Elly O'Dunn, their energetic maternal grandmother. She'd taken the afternoon off from her job at the town offices to look after the boys while Maggie catered a lunch and then met with Olivia at Carriage Hill. Phoebe, her mother and her two youngest sisters were doing what they could to help Maggie as she managed two young boys and a catering business on her own, without Brandon Sloan, her adrenaline-junkie carpenter husband. Phoebe didn't have all the details, but she knew Brandon's construction work in Boston had been on-and-off at best the past year or so. It had to have put a strain on his marriage. He had a tendency to take off into the mountains or up the coast when things got tough, instead of talking.\n\nBrandon was the third of six Sloan siblings\u2014five brothers and a sister. His family owned a successful construction business in Knights Bridge and would welcome him back, but returning to his hometown would signal defeat in his eyes. Phoebe had known him since nursery school. He'd wanted out of Knights Bridge at ten. Then he and Maggie fell for each other as teenagers and married in college. Almost no one in town had believed their marriage would last. Phoebe had hoped it would, because they were so much in love.\n\nShe sighed. She could be such an idiotic romantic. Hadn't she learned by now?\n\nShe gathered the dozen boys and girls onto a round, dark red rug. They came quickly to order, even her nephews. They were reading Beatrix Potter and had just started The Tale of Peter Rabbit, their last book of the summer, and they couldn't wait to find out what happened next.\n\n* * *\n\nWith Peter Rabbit and Knights Bridge's little ones safely back with their families, Phoebe locked up the library and walked across South Main Street and through the common to Main Street and the Swift River Country Store, a town fixture for the past hundred years. It sold everything from galoshes to canned goods and fresh vegetables to a decent selection of wine. The afternoon heat had eased but it was still warm when she headed back to the library with two bottles of pinot grigio, already chilled. Olivia would bring a bottle of some kind of red from a California winery owned by Noah Kendrick, Dylan's best friend and founder of NAK, Inc., the high-tech entertainment business that had made them both fortunes. The only thing Phoebe knew for sure was that her choice of white wine wouldn't be nearly as pricey as whatever red Olivia brought.\n\nHaving a friend fall for a wealthy Californian had its unexpected advantages.\n\nNormally she'd have walked home but her visit with Maggie and Olivia meant she had her car. She got in, set her wine on the front seat next to her and shut her eyes a moment, listening to the rustle of leaves as a gentle breeze floated through the shade trees on the wide library lawn.\n\nFinally she started her Subaru and turned off South Main onto Thistle Lane. The library stood on the corner. Thistle Lane led away from the common, connecting to a back road with views of the reservoir in the distance. On her trips to the library as a girl, Phoebe had dreamed of living on the quiet, tree-lined street, away from the chaotic life she had out in the country with her parents and younger sisters. Thistle Lane represented order, independence and, at least to a degree, prosperity.\n\nIn less than five minutes, she turned into her short paved driveway. An old American elm graced the corner of the yard next to hers, holding on against the ravages of Dutch elm disease, in part due to intervention by the town. It was a beautiful tree, a symbol of the past and yet very much part of her everyday world. When she bought her house eighteen months ago, she'd thought she was being practical, never mind that she was the only one to make an offer. The house was built in 1912 by one of the early directors of the library, then sold to a series of owners, until, finally, the town was forced to take possession when the heir to the last owner couldn't be located and property taxes went into arrears.\n\nPhoebe rolled up her car windows, shut off the engine and collected her wine bottles as she stepped out into the shade. With its new roof, furnace, windows, wiring and plumbing, the house was no longer a notch above a tear-down. It still needed a new kitchen and bathroom, but she had to save up before she tackled any more big projects. Right now, she was concentrating on some of the fun cosmetic work\u2014paint, wallpaper, gardens and restoring flea-market and yard-sale finds.\n\nWith her painting skills and eye for color, Olivia had been a huge help, but The Farm at Carriage Hill and her new life with Dylan were creating uncertainties for her. Phoebe had welcomed having Maggie and then Olivia move back to Knights Bridge, but that didn't mean more changes weren't coming. Change was inevitable, Phoebe thought. Her own life was more settled than the lives of her sisters and most of her friends. Her job at the library was secure. She had no plans to move, go into business for herself or get involved with a man.\n\nFive years from now, her life would likely look more or less as it did now.\n\n\"Just without an avocado-green refrigerator in my kitchen,\" she muttered happily as she headed down the curving stone walk with her wine.\n\nThe narrow clapboards of her small house were painted classic white. At Olivia's suggestion, Phoebe had chosen a warm, welcoming green for the front door. It was framed by pink roses that she'd pruned and trained to climb up the white-painted trellis by the porch steps. When she'd moved in, the yard was an overgrown mess. She didn't have Olivia's green thumb, but she'd nonetheless managed to save many of the shrubs and perennials that had come with the property.\n\nAs she started up the steps to the small, covered porch, she saw that her twin sisters had arrived ahead of her. They were seated on wicker chairs that Phoebe had reclaimed and painted white, adding cushions in a mix of pink, blue and white flowers. Ava and Ruby, at twenty-three the youngest of the O'Dunn sisters, were fraternal twins, but they were so much alike that people often assumed they were identical. In both appearance and temperament, they took after their late father, Patrick O'Dunn, an auburn-haired, green-eyed, gorgeous-looking dreamer, as hopelessly impractical as the widow he'd left behind almost ten years ago.\n\n\"Thanks for coming,\" Phoebe said as she unlocked the front door. \"Olivia and Maggie will be here any minute.\"\n\n\"This is going to be so much fun,\" Ruby said, tucking a pink rose blossom behind her ear. She had on a long black skirt and a white tank top, her short, wavy hair dyed a purple-black that made her skin seem even paler, more translucent. \"We brought all our goodies. Makeup, wigs, hairpieces, curling iron, needles and thread. We've already done up a half-dozen masks. Three are simple. You'd be able to recognize whoever's wearing them. Three are more elaborate. It'd be tougher to recognize who's wearing them.\"\n\nAva smiled. \"We will not fail you.\" She twirled a rose stem in her fingertips. Her hair was its natural reddish brown, trailing down her back in a loose ponytail. Her skirt, which came to just above her knees, was a deep, warm red that worked surprisingly well with her turquoise lace top. \"A masquerade ball in Boston. It doesn't get much fancier than that.\"\n\nPhoebe pushed open the door. \"Dylan has extra tickets if you want to go.\"\n\n\"I wish,\" Ava said wistfully, tossing her rose over the porch rail into the grass. \"We have to work, and classes start again next week.\"\n\n\"Otherwise we'd go in a heartbeat,\" Ruby added.\n\nNo doubt they would, Phoebe thought. \"It does sound grand,\" she said as she led them inside. \"Maggie and Olivia are counting on your theatrical flair. What do you think of Maggie in the blue gown Grace Kelly wore in To Catch a Thief and Olivia in Audrey Hepburn's black dress from Breakfast at Tiffany's?\"\n\nAva turned, intrigued. \"Do you have the dresses?\"\n\nPhoebe nodded. \"I have the dresses.\"\n\n\"Oh, wow. Excellent. Ruby?\"\n\n\"Grace's icy-blue chiffon gown? Audrey's little black dress?\" Ruby laughed. \"That's fantastic.\"\n\n\"I even have pearls and a cigarette holder,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"Where did you get them?\" Ava asked.\n\n\"I'm thinking of including them in our vintage fashion show,\" Phoebe said evasively. Her sisters followed her into the kitchen, where she put the wine in the refrigerator, a relic that, somehow, still worked.\n\nAva leaned against the counter, a cheap wood that Phoebe had painted creamy white, her first renovation when she'd moved in. \"So, Phoebe,\" Ava said, crossing her arms on her chest. \"Have you decided what you're wearing?\"\n\nPhoebe got out wineglasses and set them on the cracked Formica counter, sidestepping her sister's question. The twins were in graduate school\u2014Ava in New York, Ruby in Boston\u2014but they were spending the summer in Knights Bridge, living at home to save money. They had student loans that would take years if not decades to pay off, and big dreams that might never pay off, but Phoebe hoped everything would work out for them, believed in them. She knew they felt the same way about her but suspected they had their doubts about her choices. Not her library work. Her solitary life\u2014or what to her sisters seemed like a solitary life. Meaning she didn't have a man.\n\nShe'd had one, once. She'd been on the road to marriage and a happy ending of her own, but it hadn't worked out that way.\n\nEveryone in town knew her story\u2014Phoebe O'Dunn, jilted at twenty, within forty-eight hours of finding her father dead from a tree-trimming accident. She'd shielded her mother and sisters from the depth of her pain, but the shock had taken its toll. Broken hearts healed but that didn't mean life was ever the same. Phoebe had deliberately shut the door on romance, at least for herself.\n\nBut it was fine, all fine, because she was fine. She loved her work, her family, her friends, her town. She couldn't be more content than she was right now.\n\nAva looked out the window over the sink at the backyard flower garden, dominated now, in mid-August, by hollyhocks that ranged from soft white through three shades of pink to deep maroon. \"You're not going to the ball, are you, Phoebe?\"\n\nPhoebe changed her mind and decided to pour the wine now. She grabbed the pinot grigio out of the refrigerator and set it on the counter. \"No, I'm not going,\" she said matter-of-factly as she rummaged in the utensil drawer for a corkscrew. \"Do you both want wine?\"\n\nRuby plopped her tote bag onto a chair at the table. \"Phoebe, you know you'd have a great time. You never go anywhere\u2014\"\n\n\"I have so much to do here. I'm taking vacation days before the end of the summer. I'll go someplace then.\"\n\n\"Where?\"\n\n\"I don't know. Someplace.\" Phoebe held up a glass. \"Wine?\"\n\n\"Sure,\" Ruby said with a sigh. \"Just don't think I've given up.\"\n\n\"Me, either,\" Ava said. \"You should go to this ball tomorrow, Phoebe. Maybe you'll change your mind when you see the masks Ruby and I made. Anyway, wine for me, too. I'll get our goodies out of the car.\"\n\n\"Hang on, I'll help.\" Ruby withdrew a square of golden-colored soap from her tote bag and tossed it to Phoebe. \"Check it out while we're setting up. It's a new soap Mom, Olivia and Maggie are trying out. Mom wants your opinion.\"\n\nOlivia and Maggie were experimenting with making their own artisan goat's milk soaps to sell at The Farm at Carriage Hill. If it worked, Elly O'Dunn's goats could go from being an expensive and impractical hobby to earning their own keep. Phoebe was happy to do what she could to help and knew Ava and Ruby were, too, although Ava in particular wasn't crazy about their mother's goats\u2014especially when she had to clean up after them. They all appreciated the mildness and purity of the soaps.\n\nPhoebe took in the gentle lavender scent of the bar Ruby had tossed her. \"It really is lovely, isn't it?\"\n\n\"Olivia's already designed the labels,\" Ruby said. \"Dreams do come true, Phoebe. Olivia's are.\"\n\n\"I know. I want yours to come true, too.\"\n\nAva stopped in the hall doorway. \"What about your dreams?\"\n\n\"My dream,\" Phoebe said lightly, abandoning the soap for her wine, \"is to see Maggie and Olivia all set for their charity ball. Go grab your stuff. I'll get the dresses.\"\n\n* * *\n\nThree hours, two and a half bottles of wine, a pot of vegetable curry and much laughter later, Phoebe was again alone in her kitchen. Olivia and Maggie had precise instructions, beautiful handmade masks and everything else they needed to transform themselves into their own versions of Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly.\n\nThe dresses had worked out even better than Phoebe had imagined.\n\nThe dresses.\n\nAva had recognized them first. \"Phoebe, these aren't like the dresses Audrey and Grace wore in Breakfast at Tiffany's and To Catch a Thief. They are the dresses.\"\n\n\"Close copies,\" Phoebe had said, then again deflected questions about where she'd gotten them.\n\nShe turned out the light in the kitchen and walked down a short hall to a small back room. For most of the past eighteen months, she'd used it to store paint supplies, tools and junk she'd collected from the rest of the house but wasn't sure what to do with. Then, on a rainy night earlier that summer, she'd cleaned everything out, wiped down the walls, mopped the floor and considered the possibilities. A guestroom? A study? A spa bathroom?\n\nIn another life, it would have made a great baby's room.\n\nShe felt the same pang of regret she'd felt that night, but it was ridiculous. If her father hadn't died and her steady college boyfriend hadn't given her an impossible ultimatum, she wouldn't have ended up on Thistle Lane at all, with or without babies.\n\nFlorida.\n\nShe'd have ended up in Florida.\n\nShe tore off the dry-cleaning plastic to a third dress she'd had cleaned along with the Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn dresses. It hung on a hook in the back room.\n\nShe stepped back, marveling at the creativity and the workmanship of the gown. It was Edwardian, one of the period pieces in the hidden room. Its creator had chosen a warm, rich brown silk satin, decorated it with sparkling beads, lace and embroidery, all in a matching brown. It had an empire waist, a deep square neckline and loose, belled lacy sleeves.\n\nAnd there was a matching hat.\n\nIt was as romantic and beautiful a dress as any Phoebe had ever seen.\n\nA gown for a princess.\n\nShe tried to shake off the thought. She'd had too much wine. Just two glasses, but she felt...well, a little reckless.\n\nAnd why not?\n\nAfter all, what could be more perfect for a masquerade ball than a gorgeous, mysterious dress from a secret attic room?\nTwo\n\n\"I could pass for a swashbuckler right now,\" Noah Kendrick said as he stretched out on an expanse of granite near the base of Mount Washington, the tallest peak in the White Mountains of northern New England. \"If I don't shave or shower before tonight, I'll be all set.\"\n\nDylan McCaffrey shrugged off his pack and sat on another boulder. Noah saw no sign that four days of hiking had had any effect on his friend beyond sweat, stubble and a certain grubbiness. Two of Dylan's hockey player friends had joined them but had split off that morning for several more days of tramping in the mountains. It was Dylan's and Noah's first time hiking in the White Mountains. They were in good shape, but Mount Washington was a hell of a climb, their last summit before heading back to civilization.\n\nAnd a charity ball.\n\nGreat, Noah thought without enthusiasm.\n\nHe doubted that anyone at NAK, Inc., had needed to reach him in the past three nights and four days. He was the founder of the high-tech entertainment company that bore his initials\u2014NAK, for Noah Andrew Kendrick. The convergence of technology and entertainment had fascinated him for as long as he could remember, and he'd managed to turn it into a profitable business. NAK was just four years old but had gone public last fall, a grueling process that had consumed him and his senior managers.\n\nHe'd stepped down as CEO in June. His idea.\n\nOne of his smarter moves had been to get Dylan, fresh out of the NHL and looking for something new to do, to help with NAK. He'd eased back from day-to-day involvement now, too.\n\nNAK would have gone bust within months without Dylan's help. Dylan knew how to read people. He knew how to fight in a way Noah didn't.\n\nThey were both keenly aware that a central challenge for a newly public company was to figure out what to do with the founder. Sometimes the best thing for the company was for the founder to stay on as CEO, or at least remain deeply involved in the stewardship of his or her creation.\n\nSometimes the best thing was for the founder to find something else to do.\n\nLike spend a few days hiking on the other side of the continent.\n\nNoah decided to focus on that problem another time. \"I promise I won't step foot in that ballroom until I've had a shower,\" he said. \"I wouldn't want to scare the ladies.\"\n\nDylan grunted. \"More like turn everyone off their hors d'oeuvres.\"\n\nNoah grinned, leaning back on one arm as he surveyed the view of the mixed hardwood forest they were about to enter, a relief after the rugged, open terrain above the tree line. At over 6000 feet, Mount Washington was the highest peak in the east and one of the deadliest mountains in the world, in part because of its proximity to a large and mobile population, in part because of its changeable and often extreme weather conditions. Noah liked it because unlike the other mountains in what was known as the Presidential Range\u2014a series of high peaks named after U.S. presidents\u2014Mount Washington had a weather observatory and a full caf\u00e9 with hot dogs at the top.\n\nHe couldn't remember the last time he'd had hot dogs, but he'd helped himself to two on his brief stay on the summit.\n\n\"It's a beautiful spot, Dylan,\" Noah said, meaning it, \"but the same mosquito that bit me yesterday at the Lake in the Clouds has found me again. I think it followed me up and down this mountain.\"\n\n\"It's not the same mosquito, Noah.\"\n\n\"I hate mosquitoes.\"\n\n\"At least it's only one. It could be a hundred.\"\n\n\"Maybe my lack of showering discouraged reinforcements.\"\n\nDylan grinned at him. \"You and mosquitoes. Imagine if you didn't have bug repellant.\"\n\n\"No, thanks.\"\n\n\"You never hiked up Mount Washington while you were at MIT?\"\n\nNoah shook his head. \"Never even considered it.\"\n\n\"Too busy doing math problems,\" Dylan said, amused.\n\nMath problems. Noah sighed. He had explained countless times in his long friendship with Dylan\u2014practically since first grade\u2014that \"math problems\" was too simplistic. It didn't explain how his mind worked.\n\n\"I'm not good at math,\" Dylan added.\n\n\"You don't like math. There's a difference. And your idea of 'math' is arithmetic. Adding fractions.\"\n\n\"I can add fractions. It's multiplying them that does me in.\"\n\nNoah glanced at Dylan but couldn't tell if he was serious.\n\n\"We shouldn't sit too long,\" Dylan said. \"We don't have much farther to go, but we want to make it down the mountain in time to get to Boston and turn into swashbucklers.\"\n\nFor a split second, Noah imagined himself lying back on the boulder and taking a nap. They'd encountered high winds, fog and temperatures in the low fifties on the last thousand feet or so to the summit. He appreciated the clear, quiet weather and relative warmth lower on the mountain. It was even sunny. By the time they reached the trailhead at Pinkham Notch, it would be in the seventies. He'd peeled off his jacket on the descent and continued in his special moisture-wicking Patagonia T-shirt and hiking pants. Dylan, who was built like a bull, was in Carhartt. Noah was fair and lean, more one for sessions in the gym or dojo than treks in the wilderness. Dylan had decided a few days in the White Mountains would be good for Noah.\n\nSame with the masquerade ball tonight.\n\nGood for him.\n\nNoah had gone along. Why not? It wasn't as if he had a whole lot else to do. Not like even just a couple of months ago. A year, two years, ten years ago, he'd navigated a hectic schedule that would have flattened most people he knew. So had Dylan.\n\n\"You couldn't sign me up for a simple black-tie ball,\" Noah said, sitting up straight on the New England granite. \"No. No way. My best friend since first grade has to sign me up for a masquerade. I have to wear a costume.\"\n\n\"More or less. It's not like Halloween.\" Dylan was clearly unmoved by Noah's complaints. \"All in the name of fun and a good cause.\"\n\n\"Right.\" Noah drank some water from his water bottle, relieved that he didn't see any mosquitoes. \"I've agreed to dress up in whatever swashbuckler outfit you've managed to find for me, but I'm skipping the long-haired wig and funny beard.\"\n\n\"Just not the sword,\" Dylan said.\n\nNoah grinned. \"Never the sword.\"\n\n\"A reenactment musketeer rapier is waiting for you in Boston. No one needs to know it's you behind the black mask. I understand you don't want your photo turning up on some gossip website asking if the most eligible bachelor in San Diego has lost his mind.\"\n\n\"Dylan, why do I have the feeling you aren't taking my concerns seriously?\"\n\n\"Because I'm not. You'd have even more women flocking to you if they could see you in your sword-fighting duds.\"\n\nSword-fighting duds. Noah shook his head. Expecting Dylan to appreciate proper fencing terminology was a waste of time. No doubt he felt the same when it came to Noah and the nuances of hockey.\n\n\"The costume has a cape, too,\" Dylan added.\n\n\"There's no hope for you, my friend.\"\n\nDylan shrugged as he drank some of his own water.\n\n\"You used to be the most eligible bachelor in San Diego,\" Noah said.\n\n\"Best-looking. You were always more eligible. You just have a habit of choosing the wrong women.\"\n\nNoah tucked his water bottle into the side mesh pocket on his pack and got to his feet, lifting the pack onto one shoulder. \"What wrong women?\"\n\n\"Hollywood babes for starters,\" Dylan said, standing with his pack.\n\n\"Only recently. I haven't been the same since I got dumped by that computation engineer my senior year at MIT. She was brilliant, cute\u2014\"\n\n\"Not that cute. I remember her.\" Dylan jumped onto the trail. He didn't seem to consider that he might slip and hit his head, twist an ankle or fall off the damn mountain. Of course, he landed lightly on his feet. \"She wasn't as cute as your latest actress.\"\n\n\"Her show just got canceled, and she's not cute. She's gorgeous.\"\n\n\"Smart?\"\n\n\"Yes, I guess so. We didn't get that far before we went our separate ways.\"\n\n\"Not many people are smart compared to you. It's a relative term.\"\n\nAlso one Noah seldom considered, but he had learned through hard experience that not everyone thought the way he did. And what did he know about relationships? His latest \"relationship,\" with the cute\/gorgeous actress of the canceled Sunday-night show, had lasted three weeks and ended that spring. He'd known from the start it wasn't an until-death-do-us-part match, but he'd thought it would last at least through the summer.\n\nHe was the one who had ended it. Just had to be done. Expensive dinners, gifts and such were one thing. Manipulating him to bankroll a movie she could star in was another.\n\n\"It's good you had this time to enjoy nature,\" Dylan said without any evidence of sarcasm.\n\n\"Right. Sure. I didn't even bring a cell phone.\"\n\nWaving off a mosquito that seemed to have singled him out, Noah joined Dylan in heading down the mountain. In a few minutes, they were in dappled shade, and he could hear water tumbling down a rock-strewn stream. Several hikers passed them, ascending the rugged, steep trail. There were no guaranteed safe trails up Mount Washington, but thousands climbed it without incident every year. Preparation and the right equipment were key, but so was the right mindset\u2014a clear understanding of one's abilities and a willingness to turn back if conditions warranted. A foolish risk on Mount Washington could prove dangerous, even deadly.\n\nWhen he'd decided to start his own business, Noah had assessed his situation with the same clarity and objectivity as he had when he agreed to join Dylan and his hockey friends hiking in the White Mountains. He'd realized within weeks of forming NAK that he needed Dylan McCaffrey on his team. They'd grown up together in suburban Los Angeles, but Noah had gone on to MIT and Dylan into the NHL. After a series of injuries ended Dylan's hockey career, he had blown most of his money and was sleeping in his car when Noah knocked on his window asking for his friend's help.\n\nDylan's instincts and no-nonsense view of people and business helped Noah get NAK going and keep it going. Its success had exceeded their dreams. Now Dylan was marrying a woman from a small New England town and reinventing his life.\n\nNoah had no idea what he was doing beyond taking a hot shower when he was back in civilization.\n\nMore mosquitoes descended on him when he rounded the next bend in the trail, but by then he didn't care. He could hear cars. After three nights sleeping in a tent, he was ready to check into a five-star Boston hotel, even if a B-movie swashbuckler costume was waiting for him.\n\n* * *\n\nDylan had booked a room at the sprawling Mount Washington Hotel, a National Historic Landmark that opened in Bretton Woods in 1902. Noah would have happily stayed there for several days and enjoyed the resort amenities and the spectacular views of the surrounding mountains, but he and Dylan had to get to Boston.\n\nThey took turns in the shower and changed into fresh clothes.\n\nNoah didn't shave. Dylan grinned at him. \"Four days' beard growth is essential for a swashbuckler, I take it.\"\n\nNoah shrugged. \"I'm just hoping it will help keep anyone from recognizing me.\"\n\nHe slipped into a black sport coat, which he wore over a silky black T-shirt and black trousers\u2014the uniform he'd adopted after graduating from MIT. He didn't remember why, except it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Dylan insisted it was because he wanted to appear older. Maybe it had been. Whatever the reason, now people expected him to show up head-to-toe in black.\n\nHe cupped his iPhone in one hand and started out into the hall.\n\n\"How many messages did you have?\" Dylan asked as they left the room.\n\n\"What makes you think I looked?\" At his friend's roll of the eyes, Noah answered with an exaggeration. \"Ten thousand.\"\n\n\"You mean ten, and one you answered.\"\n\nIt was close. That was Dylan. He could read people.\n\nThey headed down wide, elegant stairs to the main lobby, then outside onto a sweeping porch overlooking expansive lawns and the stunning mountains where they'd spent the past four days and three nights.\n\nAs they walked to Dylan's car, he frowned at Noah. \"Everything okay?\"\n\n\"I got bit by mosquitoes. Do you worry about West Nile virus?\"\n\n\"No, and you don't, either. What's up?\"\n\nNoah shook his head as he climbed into the passenger seat of Dylan's Audi. He'd bought the car for his Knights Bridge residence now that he was spending most of his time on the East Coast. Noah didn't offer to drive.\n\nHe needed to think.\n\nIn fact, he'd had one call from San Diego that made him uneasy. He would have to return it once they arrived in Boston. He had no choice.\n\nHe could see that Dylan was on alert. He would help in a heartbeat if Noah was in trouble. NAK trouble, personal trouble. It didn't matter.\n\nThis time, Noah didn't want Dylan to get involved.\n\nThe San Diego call was his problem.\n\nDylan seemed to guess that asking more questions would get him nowhere. His years on the ice, practicing, playing with a team, had honed his natural instincts about when to make a move, when to hold back. Noah had always been more of a solo operator.\n\nAs he started the car, Dylan took a breath, obviously reining in an urge to interrogate Noah. Finally he said, \"Olivia's done a lot of work on her house since you were there in April.\"\n\n\"That's good,\" Noah said neutrally. Olivia's house had needed a lot of work.\n\n\"We're tearing down my place,\" Dylan added.\n\n\"Ah.\"\n\nAs far as Noah was concerned, it was the only sensible option. He'd been to Knights Bridge just that one time, in early spring, not long after Dylan had received a handwritten note from Olivia Frost demanding he clean up his property, an eyesore for potential visitors to the getaway she was opening down the road from him.\n\nExcept her note was the first Dylan had heard of her, Knights Bridge or his ownership of a house there. He'd had no idea his treasure-hunter father had bought the house and left it to him upon his death two years ago. It was built in the 1840s but wasn't the architectural gem that Olivia's home was. In fact, it was a rundown wreck.\n\nDylan hadn't expected to discover that he had roots of his own in the out-of-the-way Swift River Valley, and he certainly hadn't expected to fall in love with Olivia Frost.\n\nDespite the miles he had hiked over the past few days, Noah felt restless, frustrated with his situation, even trapped, but at least he didn't have to keep the players straight in Knights Bridge, Massachusetts. He stuck out enough in Southern California but he enjoyed relative anonymity there compared to what he would endure in a small town straight out of Norman Rockwell. Dylan had tried to explain to him that, despite appearances to the contrary, time hadn't stopped in Knights Bridge.\n\nMaybe it hadn't, but it was still small.\n\nReally small.\n\nNoah stared out the window as the mountains and woodlands of northern New England gave way to the suburbs of metropolitan Boston. Dylan drove with occasional suspicious glances at him, but Noah didn't budge. He wasn't talking.\n\nWhen the Boston skyline came into view and traffic picked up, he sat up straight, wide-awake.\n\nThis was familiar territory.\n\nDylan valet-parked at the same five-star hotel in Copley Square where the charity event was being held and they each had booked a suite for the night. Their costumes for the evening would be delivered to their rooms.\n\n\"Noah,\" Dylan said as he climbed out of the car.\n\nNoah knew there was no point denying there was a problem. He shook his head. \"Later.\"\n\n\"Anytime. You know that.\"\n\n\"I do. Thanks.\"\n\nWhen he reached his suite, Noah dug out his iPhone and stood in the window overlooking the familiar city streets as he dialed Loretta Wrentham's number in San Diego. Loretta was Dylan's personal lawyer and friend, a striking woman in her early fifties who recently admitted she'd been his father's lover, at least briefly. According to Loretta, Duncan McCaffrey had never told her why he'd bought a house in Knights Bridge, either, but it had changed his son's life.\n\nThat was Duncan, Noah thought. He'd been a restless soul, divorcing Dylan's mother, traveling the world, having adventures. Fifteen years ago, he'd turned up in Boston when Noah was a freshman at MIT. Noah had been homesick, feeling like a misfit even among people just as dedicated to math and science as he was. Duncan McCaffrey had suggested Noah take up a martial art. \"Karate, tae kwon do, tai chi, fencing. Something.\" Noah had signed up for his first fencing lesson that week. Duncan had already gone off on some expedition.\n\nNoah had known Loretta since she'd started working with Dylan during his early years with the NHL and considered her a friend.\n\nShe answered on the first ring. She must have pounced on the phone. \"I haven't found out a thing,\" she said. \"Not. A. Thing.\"\n\nThat wasn't good. Loretta was a hound. One sniff, and she pinned her nose to the trail straight to the end. This one had her stumped.\n\nA few days before Noah flew to Boston for his hike in the White Mountains, he'd spotted a mystery man on his tail in San Diego. Or what he thought was a mystery man on his tail. He'd first noticed the man outside a waterfront restaurant, then at his fencing studio and finally outside the NAK offices in downtown San Diego.\n\nOn that third sighting, Noah had raced outside but got there too late. The man was gone. Loretta was on her way into the lobby of NAK's stylish high-rise. Noah asked her if she'd seen anyone. She said she hadn't, but offered to find out what she could. As a friend.\n\n\"It could just be my imagination that this guy's following me,\" Noah said, as he had a little over a week ago when he'd explained the situation to Loretta in San Diego.\n\n\"Do you have an imagination?\" She caught her breath. \"That didn't come out right. I don't mean it as an insult. You're just so...evidence-oriented. I'm a lawyer. I can relate.\"\n\nNoah had learned not to dwell on people's stereotypes about him but he was tempted to tell Loretta that if he didn't have an imagination, there would be no NAK, Inc.\n\nNor would there be a fortune for anyone to scheme and fight over.\n\nIf that was what was happening.\n\nHe didn't know if the man's reasons for tailing him were personal, professional or money related\u2014or even involved him.\n\n\"This guy could be a reporter,\" she said.\n\n\"I suppose,\" Noah said, unconvinced. So far, most journalistic interest in him since NAK had taken off had been legitimate, professional. No sneaking around, no following him.\n\n\"I wish you'd gotten a better look at him. Tall, gray hair, trim, wearing a dark gray suit. That's not much. You're sure you'd recognize him again if you saw him?\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\nLoretta sighed. \"Maybe he's looking into one of your Hollywood ex-girlfriends. A paparazzi type.\"\n\nNoah grimaced as he watched a young couple run across Boylston Street hand in hand. \"All I need is some idiot with a camera popping up out of nowhere and snapping shots of me dressed as a swashbuckler.\"\n\n\"A swashbuckler?\" Loretta gave a soft chuckle on the other end of the line. \"That I'd like to see. Dylan says you're damn good with a sword. Master fencer, right?\"\n\n\"Something like that,\" Noah said. The couple disappeared from his sight. He drew back from the window. \"I should get ready for this thing tonight. I really appreciate your help with this situation, Loretta.\"\n\n\"Happy to do what I can. I dealt with a few crazy stalker fans back in Dylan's hockey days. I'm not saying that's what's going on here, but you might send me a list of your ex-girlfriends.\"\n\nIt would be quite a list. \"I'm not going that far, Loretta. Not without more to go on.\"\n\n\"See? I said you were evidence-oriented. I'll pick at a few more possible leads, but I'm not optimistic. Keep your eyes open. If this thing gets serious and I think you have a real threat on your hands, I'll take additional steps.\"\n\n\"Such as?\"\n\n\"Calling the police. Recommending a bodyguard.\"\n\nNoah shook his head as if she were in the room with him. \"No bodyguard. Not without an actual threat.\"\n\n\"Have you told Dylan about this guy?\" Loretta asked.\n\n\"No. I don't want to distract him. He's moving on from NAK, as he should.\"\n\n\"He's still your friend. What if your mystery man is on your tail because of Dylan? Have you considered that?\"\n\nHe had. \"Now we're speculating. First things first. If there's a reason, I'll talk to Dylan. Right now there isn't.\"\n\n\"All right. Fair enough. How was your hike?\"\n\n\"There were mosquitoes,\" Noah said with a smile, then assured Loretta he'd keep his eyes open and let her know if there were any new developments.\n\nAfter they disconnected, he did a series of stretches. In addition to a master fencer, he was a brown belt in karate. He'd concentrate on advancing to black belt once he got over the nonstop work and pressure of taking NAK public\u2014and the loss of his best friend and closest business ally to New England.\n\nAnd to pretty, talented Olivia Frost.\n\nShe was the love of Dylan's life. And he of hers.\n\nNo question.\n\nNoah centered his mind, focused on his movements, the rhythm, the technique. Everything else\u2014doubts, questions, fears, noise\u2014fell away as he did his basic shorin ryu karate warm-up routine of calisthenics, blocks, punches and kicks, then eased into a series of simple katas.\n\nWhen he finished, he was sweating and loose, and he felt grounded, aware, in the moment.\n\nHis costume arrived. He laid it on the bed as if it were a dead musketeer and took another shower. He debated tripling his donation to the neonatal ICU and bowing out of tonight's festivities. He could stay in his room and watch movies.\n\nNo point. Dylan would just hunt him down. Might as well get on with it.\n\nStill damp from his shower, Noah donned the all-black costume, including the cape and the fake sword. He winced at his reflection. It wasn't so much that he looked bad or foolish. He just didn't look like himself.\n\nAt least there was a mask. It, too, was black, but fortunately it covered most of his face.\n\nIn San Diego, someone might recognize him even with the mask. In Boston?\n\nUnlikely.\n\n\"Good,\" he muttered, and headed down to the ballroom.\nThree\n\nPhoebe couldn't take her eyes off the man coming toward her as if they were the only two people in the crowded, glittering ballroom. As if nothing could stop him and he was determined to reach her.\n\nShe was standing by a pillar, next to a table of empty champagne glasses. She'd arrived twenty minutes ago, wanting just to watch the festivities with a glass of champagne. Olivia had left one of Dylan's extra tickets behind in case Phoebe decided to go after all, but she'd been so adamant about not going that now she didn't want to have to explain why she'd changed her mind. Because she was captivated by a dress, by the fantasy of an elegant masquerade ball?\n\nBest just to be the proverbial fly on the wall, then go back home with no one being the wiser. Let Olivia and Maggie enjoy their evening without worrying about her.\n\nShe adjusted her mask. Of the half-dozen masks Ava and Ruby had made for tonight, this one provided the most coverage. Her eyes and the line of her jaw were all that anyone could see of her face.\n\nPerfect.\n\nWith this swordfighter gliding toward her, Phoebe appreciated the anonymity.\n\nAnd he really was gliding. He moved with such smoothness, such an air of masculine purpose and self-control. He didn't pull away to the bar or meet up with another woman. His mask covered most of his face, as hers did, and he was tall and lean, wearing a black cape over sleek black trousers and shirt, with a sheathed costume sword at his side. He looked as if he could handle the sword, fake or not.\n\nHis eyes locked with hers.\n\nPhoebe started to duck away, but she was transfixed.\n\nWhy not stay?\n\nThere was a lull in the live music provided by a small, eclectic band near the separate dance floor. Her swordfighter continued toward her, his eyes still on her. She stared right back at him, ignoring the quickening of her heartbeat, the rush of self-consciousness.\n\nDo I know him?\n\nShe shook her head. Impossible.\n\nSo far she'd managed to avoid running into Maggie and Olivia. It definitely helped that she knew what they were wearing. Even so, she'd almost turned back several times before arriving at her pillar. First, when she'd started onto Storrow Drive into the heart of Boston. Then when she'd eased her car into a tight space in the parking garage. Finally on the escalator up to the ballroom. She'd glanced down at the hotel lobby, full of giant urns of fresh flowers and artfully arranged sofas and chairs. Above her, she could hear people gathering outside the ballroom.\n\nIf she hadn't been on an escalator, she'd have bolted then, for sure.\n\nOnce she reached the ballroom, she got caught up in the crowd, the music, the lights, the laughter and especially the costumes. Her mysterious Edwardian dress passed muster\u2014she'd known it would\u2014striking just the right note of elegance and daring.\n\nThe swashbuckler stopped a few yards from her. His eyes were a clear, striking blue, sexy and captivating. It wasn't just the contrast with his black mask or the glow of the chandeliers or even her few sips of champagne at work. They were great eyes. Fantastic eyes.\n\nShe held her glass motionless in one hand as a couple passed in front of her, blocking her swashbuckler from her view. When they were gone, he was right in front of her.\n\nPhoebe didn't breathe.\n\nI don't belong here.\n\nThen she remembered she was alone, anonymous and dressed as an Edwardian princess. Why not play the part? Why not be a little bold, even a little reckless?\n\nWith a deliberate smile, she raised her champagne glass in a flirtatious toast, hoping the man couldn't tell that her heart was hammering in her chest.\n\nNext thing she knew, he was at her side, an arm around her waist. \"Dance with me,\" he said, his voice low, deep and impossibly sexy.\n\nPhoebe nodded without saying a word. He took her glass and set it on the table, then swept her onto the dance floor. His movements were sure, fluid and strong. He'd obviously known what he'd do the second he reached her.\n\nShe stifled a jolt of panic. A real princess would know how to dance better than she did. At least she had on strappy sandals that had seen her through several weddings and library events, and she managed not to stumble.\n\n\"Just follow my lead,\" he whispered into her ear.\n\nShe licked her lips. \"All right.\"\n\nSomehow he got her arm in position on his shoulder before she realized she had moved. She felt the ripple of lean muscle under his black cape and noticed the stubble of tawny beard around the edges of his mask. She had no idea who he was and expected it was the same for him with her. She'd followed the instructions her younger sisters had given to Olivia and Maggie in applying her makeup, but she'd had to figure out her hat and wig on her own. They felt secure, and she refused to consider what would happen if they flew off, revealing her pinned-up strawberry-blond curls.\n\nThe room spun as her dance partner whirled her among the hundreds of guests in costumes and masks in various shapes and colors. The feel of his palm on her lower back, the way he held her right arm\u2014the way he moved with her\u2014made dancing easy. He was confident, physical and strong, and Phoebe let herself pretend that he really could fight off bandits and scoundrels.\n\n\"Do you know how to use that sword?\" she asked.\n\n\"I do, but it's a fake.\"\n\n\"You're a fencer?\"\n\nHe smiled but didn't answer. The music switched to a faster tune. Phoebe barely paid attention to the actual music as her swashbuckler spun her across the dance floor. She was glad her dress was a good fit. If not, she'd have been bursting buttons and hooks-and-eyes. As it was, the dress revealed more cleavage than was her custom.\n\nShe felt sexy, lithe, wanted.\n\nNot herself at all.\n\nWhen the music ended, Phoebe realized they were on the opposite side of the ballroom. She gave her hat and mask a quick, subtle check to make sure they weren't about to fall off while her dance partner accepted two fresh glasses of champagne from a passing waiter, handing one to her.\n\n\"Nice dancing with you, Princess,\" he said, clicking his glass against hers.\n\n\"That was wonderful. Thank you. You're quite a dancer.\"\n\nHe laughed. \"I watch a lot of movies. You're not so bad yourself.\"\n\n\"That's kind of you to say. What should I call you? D'Artagnan? Are you a king's musketeer?\"\n\n\"That works for me.\"\n\nPhoebe sipped her champagne, wondering if their dancing had loosened a strawberry curl or two from under her wig. Would her musketeer care that she didn't really have raven-black hair?\n\nWhat does it matter? None of this is real.\n\nShe shut her eyes a moment, bringing herself back to reality. This was her secret night out on the town. She would be Phoebe O'Dunn again before dawn. Probably before the stroke of midnight.\n\n\"What brought you here tonight?\" her swashbuckler asked.\n\nPhoebe quickly reminded herself she was playing a part. Flirtatious, confident, rich. An Edwardian princess could afford to pay her own way to a charity masquerade ball and wouldn't feel bad if she hadn't. \"It's a great cause,\" she said, settling on a vague answer.\n\n\"That it is.\"\n\n\"And you? What brings you here?\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"I owed a friend a favor.\" His so-blue eyes narrowed on her as he drank some of his champagne. \"And it's a good cause.\"\n\nThe music started again, a slow, romantic song. He took her champagne glass from her and set it and his glass on a small table, then drew her into his arms and back onto the dance floor.\n\nPhoebe laughed, feeling light-headed and free. She didn't want the night to end and yet she knew it would. Her swordfighter would go back to being whatever he was\u2014a pediatrician, a hospital administrator, a lawyer, a Boston businessman, a professor at one of the local colleges. She would go back to Knights Bridge. They lived in the real world. He wasn't a musketeer and she wasn't a princess.\n\nJust for tonight...\n\nHis hand eased lower, subtly, over the curve of her hip. \"Close your eyes,\" he whispered. \"Trust me.\"\n\nPhoebe did as he asked as he held her even closer. She had one arm around his middle and one on his shoulder, could feel the warmth of his skin through the black fabric of his costume. He wasn't a man she'd conjured up on a lazy, hot, quiet afternoon at the library. He wasn't a figment of her imagination.\n\nAs they danced, she heard only the music, felt as if they were floating together, as one. When the music finally stopped, he kept her close as she caught her breath and opened her eyes. \"That was amazing,\" she said with a smile.\n\nHis lips brushed hers. \"You're amazing, Princess.\"\n\nPhoebe started to tell him that she was no princess, but the words stuck in her throat. She didn't want the fantasy to end. For a while longer she wanted to be a princess. She lowered her hand from his shoulder and opened her palm on his chest. Who was he, really? Did she even want to know?\n\nThen she saw Dylan, dressed as a cross between Zorro and the Scarlet Pimpernel, standing with Olivia in her Audrey Hepburn dress. They gave no indication they recognized her or even were moving toward her. Phoebe glanced around for Maggie but didn't see her.\n\nHer swashbuckler released her and stood back a few inches, the muscles in his jaw visibly tensed as his eyes narrowed on something\u2014or someone\u2014behind Phoebe. \"Excuse me, I have something I need to do,\" he said, shifting back to her. He was enigmatic, decisive. \"Will you wait for me?\"\n\n\"I will. Yes, of course.\"\n\n\"Do you have friends with you?\"\n\n\"I'll be fine. Please, do what you have to do.\"\n\nHe touched a fingertip to her lips, then was gone in an instant. Phoebe watched him as he headed quickly through the crowd, his black cape flowing, his movements smooth and controlled.\n\nShe hoped he would come back but wasn't at all sure what she would do if he did.\n\nShe dipped out of Dylan and Olivia's line of sight and stopped at an hors d'oeuvres table. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted her sister at the far end of the table in her gorgeous Grace Kelly gown. As a professional caterer, Maggie always liked to check out the food offerings at an event. Before Phoebe could decide what to do, her sister abruptly abandoned the hors d'oeuvres and whirled back toward Olivia and Dylan. At first Phoebe had no idea why. Then she saw a man dressed as a rogue of a pirate and she knew.\n\nBrandon.\n\nPhoebe immediately recognized her brother-in-law\u2014Maggie's soon-to-be-ex-husband\u2014as he stopped at a tray piled high with miniature brownies. She tried not to react to his unexpected presence or call attention to herself in any way, but she was too late. His eyes met hers and then he grinned that grin that Phoebe had first seen in nursery school and her sister had fallen for at fifteen.\n\nShe groaned inwardly. It just figured Brandon Sloan would turn up as a pirate, and that he would have no trouble recognizing her in her Edwardian costume.\n\nPhoebe didn't dare bolt. That would only draw more attention to her. Instead, pretending to be casual, she helped herself to a bit of apple and cheese and moved down the table to him.\n\n\"Oh, this is too good,\" Brandon said. \"Phoebe O'Dunn in sequins and a feathered hat.\"\n\n\"Maggie and Olivia don't know I'm here,\" Phoebe said through her clenched teeth.\n\n\"Dylan?\"\n\n\"No.\"\n\nBrandon polished off a tiny brownie in one bite. \"I didn't think you were the type to sneak into a charity ball. I'm proud of you, Phoebe.\"\n\n\"Do not make fun of me, Brandon.\"\n\nHis dark eyes softened behind his mask. \"Okay, I won't. You're shaking. Is everything all right? I saw you dancing\u2014\"\n\n\"I don't want to talk about it.\"\n\n\"All right. We won't talk about it. Why are you here on the sly?\"\n\n\"Just because.\"\n\n\"You've been doing too many kids' story hours. You sound like Aidan and Tyler.\"\n\nPhoebe ignored his teasing her and peered into the crowd. She didn't see her swashbuckler. Everything she hadn't noticed while she was dancing she noticed now. A cluster of people here. Another one there. A woman shrieking with laughter. A man spilling a drink down his front.\n\nClinking glasses.\n\nWaiters with trays of drinks and hors d'oeuvres.\n\nReading materials and displays about the neonatal ICU.\n\nWhat was I thinking, coming here tonight?\n\nHow had she let herself get caught up in dancing with a perfect stranger?\n\nThey were both playing a role.\n\n\"Phoebe?\" Brandon took her by the elbow. \"You look wobbly. Do you need to get out of here?\"\n\nShe nodded. \"Yes.\"\n\n\"How are you getting home?\"\n\n\"I have my car.\"\n\nHe grinned. \"You drove? Good for you.\"\n\nShe glared at him. \"Brandon\u2014\"\n\n\"I'm not patronizing you. I meant it. Driving in Boston is no picnic even for someone used to it. Do you have your cell phone on you? Call me if you need help. Got that? Maggie would kill me if I knew you were sneaking out of here alone and didn't look after you.\"\n\n\"I don't need looking after. Really. I'll be fine. Thank you.\" Phoebe started to leave, but stopped and turned back to him. \"Brandon, if you see the man I danced with...\" Was she completely mad? \"Never mind.\"\n\nShe spun into the crowd before he could respond. As she came to the large exit doors, she scanned a knot of people gathered there but didn't see her swashbuckler. When she reached the relative quiet of the ballroom lobby, she hesitated instead of plunging straight onto the escalators. Maybe she should go back to the ballroom and find him. Olivia and Maggie would understand that the only way she could have come tonight was exactly the way she had\u2014on her own, without telling anyone.\n\nIf she hadn't been on her own, hadn't been anonymous, she never would have danced with her swashbuckler. He might never have noticed her\u2014or she him\u2014if she'd been hanging out with Maggie, Olivia and Dylan.\n\nSuddenly her head itched under the raven-colored wig, her makeup felt like paste and her feet hurt in her strappy sandals. She turned away from the escalator. She'd freshen up, get her bearings, before heading to her car.\n\nAs she started down a carpeted corridor to the restrooms, she heard a man's voice and realized it was coming from a coatroom. \"He's here,\" the man said. \"I saw him with my own eyes. He's dressed head to toe in black as a swordfighter or some damn thing.\"\n\nPhoebe held her breath. Was he talking about her swordfighter? She edged to the wide-open doorway and peeked into the coatroom. A man was there, alone, his back to her as he spoke into a cell phone. He had short, dark hair with gray streaks and wore a black suit. He wasn't wearing a mask and he wasn't in costume.\n\n\"The bastard spotted me,\" he said. \"He's looking for me now. We don't have enough time to take action. We need more.\"\n\nPhoebe stiffened but didn't move from her position by the door.\n\nWho's we? What kind of action?\n\n\"You should have seen him dancing. The guy can move. He was with some woman dressed up like she was about to board the Titanic.\" Another pause, then a sigh. \"No, I don't know who she is. I'll find out. It shouldn't be hard.\"\n\nHe snapped his phone shut.\n\nPhoebe bolted down the hall and into the ladies' room, the door still swinging behind her as she ducked into a stall. She let out a breath. Should she try to find her swashbuckler and tell him what she'd just overheard?\n\nWhat had she just overheard?\n\nShe wasn't used to this kind of night. The crowds, the glitter, the elegance. She was out of her element. How could she judge the snippet of one-sided conversation with any clarity? For all she knew, her swashbuckler was in the middle of a divorce and tonight was his night to cut loose with a perfect stranger.\n\nIn which case it really was time to get back to Knights Bridge.\n\nPhoebe left the stall and washed her hands at the sink, avoiding her reflection in the mirror, grateful she was alone in the ladies' room. Should she peel off as much of her costume as possible before venturing back into the corridor?\n\nNo.\n\nShe didn't have another outfit to change into, and if the man she'd eavesdropped on saw her, he could recognize her dress, snap a picture of her with his phone and there she'd be, strawberry curls, freckles and all. He'd have her name and address in a heartbeat.\n\nBest just to make her exit now.\n\nShe'd planned to drive home tonight, anyway. She'd only had a few sips of champagne and was wide-awake. Dylan and Olivia were staying at the hotel, Maggie at Olivia's small apartment in town. Phoebe could join her sister, but that would mean telling her what she'd done.\n\nWhat I've done is gone completely mad.\n\nEasier just to stick to her plan and stay anonymous.\n\nThe dress had come with a tiny matching purse that hooked onto the waist. She pulled out the bright red lipstick that she had chosen from Ava and Ruby's theatrical makeup kit and reapplied it, noticing that her hand was shaking. What a night. She could be home with a nice cup of lemon-chamomile tea and a good book, or tucked on her couch watching a summer rerun of a favorite television show. Instead she was in Boston, dodging a stranger, her friends, her own sister.\n\nDancing with another stranger.\n\nA sexy stranger at that.\n\nHad he spotted the man in the coatroom? Was that why he'd left her so abruptly?\n\nWhat was he hiding?\n\nPhoebe tucked her lipstick back in her purse and pulled out her car keys as she finally took in her reflection. Her cheeks were flushed. Brandon hadn't been lying about that.\n\nThe dress and the hat and the elegant mask really were amazing.\n\nShe had no regrets, she realized. Even if someone recognized her now, as she made her exit, the night was worth any possible embarrassment. So what if her friends and sister discovered she was the one who'd danced with the swashbuckler?\n\nShe'd had a blast.\n\nPhoebe returned to the corridor and made it to the escalators without running into the man in the black suit, or anyone else.\n\nAs she stepped off the escalator, she glanced around the hotel lobby, half wishing that her dance partner would appear and sweep her into his arms again.\n\nMaybe more than half wishing.\n\nShe kept putting one foot in front of the other until she was in the parking garage unlocking her car door. She kicked off her sandals and threw them in the back. She'd tossed gym socks and a pair of sneakers onto the passenger seat. She slipped them on, feeling more normal as she settled behind the wheel and pulled off her wig. It wouldn't fool anyone now, anyway. At this point, if the man she'd overheard spotted her, he had only to jot down her license plate to find out who she was.\n\nThe same with her swordfighter.\n\nHer car started without any trouble. She'd visited Maggie, and even Olivia, often enough during their time in Boston that she had no trouble finding her way back to Storrow Drive. When she reached Route 2, she finally let out a long, cathartic breath.\n\nShe'd done it.\n\nNow her coach could turn back into a pumpkin and she could get back to her life in Knights Bridge.\nFour\n\nMaggie would have sworn the woman who had danced with Noah Kendrick was her sister Phoebe, but that just wasn't possible. It was wishful O'Dunn thinking at its craziest.\n\nEven crazier was thinking the pirate sauntering through the crowd was her husband.\n\nShe gulped more champagne than she should have. She was letting herself get upset over nothing. No way would any Sloan, and especially Brandon Sloan, show up for a masquerade ball.\n\nOf course, if Brandon did show up, it would be dressed as a pirate. She needed to get a better look at him.\n\n\"It can't be Brandon,\" Maggie said under her breath. \"It just can't be.\"\n\nOlivia eased next to her. \"The pirate, you mean?\"\n\nShe was stunning in her black Audrey Hepburn dress, complete with a revealing slit up one leg and multi-strand pearls. Maggie didn't feel nearly as elegant in her blue chiffon Grace Kelly dress.\n\n\"He reminds me of Brandon.\" She tried to sound dismissive. \"I must have had too much champagne.\"\n\n\"Ah.\"\n\nMaggie gave her friend a sharp look. \"Olivia? Is it Brandon?\"\n\n\"I don't know but I had the same thought when I saw the pirate. Dylan gave away so many tickets but he didn't mention Brandon. Several of his hockey buddies are here. Maybe the pirate's one of them.\"\n\n\"That must be it. He's one of Dylan's NHL friends.\"\n\n\"Do you want me to find out?\" Olivia asked.\n\n\"No! Not when I'm dressed up as Grace Kelly. Brandon would suck all the fun out of the experience.\" Maggie polished off the last of her champagne. It wasn't the reason her head was spinning. That pirate was. She forced herself to smile at Olivia. \"Several people have recognized my dress. I'm enjoying the fantasy, personally. The whole evening has been perfect.\"\n\n\"I'm glad. You deserve this break, Maggie.\"\n\n\"I do, don't I?\" She laughed, but she was on the verge of tears again. She had to put Brandon out of her mind. \"But I wouldn't change a thing about my life right now. I love my work, and the boys are the best\u2014I'd walk on hot coals for them. You're happy being back in our little hometown, aren't you?\"\n\n\"I don't miss Boston as much as I thought I might,\" Olivia said.\n\n\"Having Dylan up the road helps. Where is he, by the way, and when do I get to meet Noah? I'm glad you pointed him out to me. I've seen pictures of him but I'd never have recognized him in his costume.\"\n\n\"It's a great costume, isn't it? Dylan's with a couple of his NHL friends. I haven't seen Noah but I want to introduce you to him.\"\n\nGiven her relationship with Dylan, Olivia was naturally more attuned to the other attendees at the ball. Masks or not, most people had obviously recognized Dylan and were intensely curious about her. Maggie liked being able to enjoy the festivities with a measure of anonymity.\n\n\"Are you going to see Brandon while you're in town?\" Olivia asked.\n\n\"No,\" Maggie said without hesitation. \"I'm heading back home first thing in the morning and I'm Grace Kelly tonight. I'm not Mrs. Brandon Sloan. I won't be for much longer, anyway. Might as well get used to it.\"\n\n\"Maggie...\"\n\n\"I'm sorry. I don't know why I brought him up.\"\n\nOlivia hesitated, then smiled. \"Would you like more champagne? And have you tried the mini frittatas? They're great.\"\n\nMaggie frowned at her friend. They'd known each other since they were tots and Olivia was clearly not telling her something. They'd driven to Boston together, taking Maggie's car. They'd dropped off Maggie's things at the small apartment Olivia still had from her days with a Boston design studio and then walked over to the hotel. Dylan was already there, in costume, with Noah and his NHL friends.\n\nOlivia drank some of her champagne. Her behavior was definitely awkward, Maggie thought. \"Olivia? What's going on?\"\n\n\"I wouldn't bet good money that Brandon's at a sports bar watching the Red Sox tonight.\"\n\n\"What? Olivia\u2014is the pirate Brandon?\"\n\n\"I told you I don't know for sure.\" Olivia again hesitated. \"I think Brandon may have been in touch with Dylan.\"\n\nMaggie felt her mouth drop open but she quickly snapped it shut again. \"In touch how? Why?\"\n\n\"I don't know. The Sloans are working on Dylan's place. Maybe Brandon stopped by.\"\n\n\"He doesn't live in Knights Bridge. That's my life.\"\n\n\"His family's there. The boys.\"\n\n\"Believe me, I know.\"\n\nMaggie heard the bitterness in her own voice and regretted it. Don't do this tonight, she told herself. Let Brandon live his own life. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? She shook off her confusion, her sense of violation\u2014as if he had deliberately inserted himself into the new life she was building for herself, without him. She took in a deep breath. She prided herself on staying calm amid the chaos that her life sometimes threw at her as she juggled the multiple demands of her busy catering schedule, her two young sons, her three sisters, her widowed mother.\n\nHer estranged husband.\n\nShe looked into the crowd to see if she could spot the pirate. It had to be Brandon.\n\nShe forced another smile at her friend. \"We'll sort everything out later. We're Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn tonight, right?\"\n\nOlivia looked visibly relieved at Maggie's cheerful tone. \"Come on. Let's go find Dylan. Noah's around here somewhere, too. You'll have to meet him.\"\n\nMaggie spotted Dylan alone by the doors out to the ballroom lobby. \"He's on his way over here now. Why don't you two dance?\"\n\n\"I'm not going to abandon you if you're upset about Brandon\u2014\"\n\n\"Nothing I'm not used to. Don't worry about me. If Brandon is the pirate, he had his chance to annoy me and resisted. I'm fine, honestly. Go.\"\n\nWhen Olivia turned, Dylan was already in front of her. He took her in his arms and whisked her onto the dance floor. He moved like a hockey player on ice, Maggie thought, smiling as her friend snuggled close to her fianc\u00e9. Olivia had reinvented her life, too. She was doing well, and Maggie was glad to see her so happy.\n\nA thick arm went around her waist. \"No wallflowers allowed,\" the pirate whispered into her ear.\n\nBrandon.\n\nMaggie recognized his deep voice, his touch, but she pretended not to know it was him as she put a hand on his shoulder and let him spin her onto the dance floor. She'd be Grace Kelly in her flowing blue dress. Cool, calm, controlled, as if she were dancing with Cary Grant. But why was Brandon here? She let her questions die on her lips as he pulled her close to him. Did he know he was dancing with her\u2014with his wife, the mother of his children?\n\nOf course he knew.\n\nHe settled a hand on the curve of her hip. \"Shh. Let's just dance.\"\n\nIt was what she wanted, too. Just to dance. To pretend he was about to lift her into his arms and carry her off as he had so many times in the past.\n\nHow long had it been since he had held her like this?\n\nThere had been only one man in her life. Brandon Sloan. They had been so right together...and then so wrong. Money, pride, dreams, the busyness of life. They'd let them all erode what they'd had together.\n\nShe had so many questions. So much she wanted to say to him.\n\n\"Do you know Dylan McCaffrey?\"\n\nBrandon didn't hear her, or pretended not to as he held her close.\n\nMaggie almost didn't notice when the music stopped. He released her and smiled that rogue's smile of his. \"You're beautiful, Maggie O'Dunn Sloan.\"\n\nThen he was gone, and by the time Maggie pulled herself together, she was standing alone on the edge of the dance floor, wondering if she'd imagined him. Tears burned in her eyes but she hoped, with the mask, that no one would notice.\n\nSuddenly she felt hot in her Grace Kelly dress, ridiculous.\n\nNoah Kendrick eased in next to her in his swashbuckler costume and slipped off his mask. \"Maggie, I'm Noah Kendrick. Dylan's friend. Can I get you a glass of water?\"\n\n\"I'm all right, thanks. Just...just hot.\"\n\n\"The costumes have their drawbacks.\"\n\n\"They get us thinking about fantasies, don't they?\" Maggie appreciated his diplomacy. As Phoebe had said yesterday, it was a slippery slope to want what you knew you couldn't have. Maggie cleared her throat, straightened her shoulders, wondering if it really could have been her sister who had danced with the California billionaire. Dylan's friend, and now Olivia's friend. \"It's a pleasure to meet you, Noah.\"\n\nHe gave a mock bow. \"A pleasure to meet you, too, Maggie.\"\n\n\"Have you enjoyed your evening? Who was that you were dancing with?\"\n\nHe frowned. \"I never got her name. Did you see where she went?\"\n\nMaggie shook her head. \"Sorry, no.\"\n\nHis eyes settled on her. \"Do you know her?\"\n\n\"I never talked to her,\" she answered carefully. What if it was Phoebe who had danced with Noah? Had she realized who he was? Would she want Maggie blabbing her identity to him?\n\nShe gave herself a mental shake. She was being crazy. It wasn't Phoebe.\n\n\"I was just impressed with how you two danced together,\" Maggie said.\n\n\"I was distracted for a moment.\" He seemed to want to go on but sighed. \"Well, it's nothing for you to worry about. You and Olivia look lovely. Great costumes.\"\n\n\"Thanks. They're fun. My sisters helped. I should call it an evening. My mother has my sons for the night, and I want to check in. They're live wires as it is, and she tends to\u2014\" Maggie broke off. She wasn't going to criticize her mother in front of a man she barely knew. \"They always have a great time together.\"\n\n\"You're feeling better, then?\"\n\nShe nodded. \"It was just one of those things. I've learned to have my moments and move on. Are Dylan and Olivia still dancing?\"\n\n\"They're good together,\" Noah said simply.\n\n\"Yes, they are,\" Maggie said without hesitation. \"I hope you enjoyed your hike in the White Mountains.\"\n\n\"It was an experience,\" he said with a smile.\n\nNoah was quiet, but he radiated a confidence that Maggie hadn't noticed at first, probably due more to her preset ideas about him than anything else. She hadn't expected a high-tech genius, a hard-driving entrepreneur, to be so self-possessed. \"A good swordfight more to your taste than mountain climbing?\"\n\n\"Than staying a step ahead of a cloud of mosquitoes, for sure.\"\n\nMaggie laughed, feeling more herself again. \"Brandon and I climbed Mount Washington before the boys came along. What an experience. The views stay with you forever, don't they?\"\n\n\"I liked the hot dogs at the top,\" Noah said with a wink.\n\nDylan and Olivia joined them, and Maggie pulled off her mask. The evening was winding down and she wanted to change back into her regular clothes, forget any wild fantasies she'd had. She glanced around for her pirate husband, but he had disappeared. She expected to feel relief but she had to acknowledge a pang of disappointment, too.\n\nAnd of loneliness, she thought. For so long, she and Brandon had been at each other's sides. Lovers, best friends, parents to their two little boys.\n\nHow had they let that get away from them?\n\nMaggie pasted a smile on her face. She wasn't going to think about what had gone wrong between her and Brandon right now. She turned down Olivia and Dylan's offer to walk with her back to Olivia's apartment and instead headed out alone.\n\nThe night was warm and still, Copley Square filled with people. Maggie told herself she needed this time on her own. She'd loved living in Boston, but she didn't miss city life as much as she thought she would when she'd packed up herself and the boys and returned to Knights Bridge. Her hometown had plenty to offer, and it was a great place for Tyler and Aidan. They'd made new friends, loved being close to family. It was the same for Maggie. Even her work was better in Knights Bridge. In Boston, she'd worked part-time for different caterers. Now she had her own catering business, and it was getting off the ground faster than she'd anticipated or even had hoped it would.\n\nShe cut down to Commonwealth Avenue and continued on to attractive, residential Marlborough Street. She'd always wanted to live in Back Bay, but she and Brandon had rented a series of apartments in less expensive parts of the city. It wasn't just a question of finances, she'd finally realized. It was what he wanted, where he was comfortable. Back Bay wouldn't suit him.\n\nShe used Olivia's keys to get into the apartment. Olivia planned to give it up, but it definitely came in handy tonight. Maggie wouldn't have wanted to drive home after her evening as Grace Kelly.\n\nShe caught her reflection in the entry mirror. She'd managed to avoid mirrors all evening and was a little shocked at how she looked. Sexy, a little devil-may-care. Leave it to Ava and Ruby to get creative and theatrical. Phoebe's discovery of the look-alike dress from To Catch a Thief was perfect, but the twins were responsible for the subtle Grace Kelly makeup, the push-up bra, the blond wig and the glittery mask.\n\nMaggie pulled off the wig, then unpinned her hair and let it fall to her shoulders.\n\nAlready she looked and felt more like Maggie O'Dunn, mom to two young boys, second of four sisters, caterer to showers, weddings, meetings, reunions, fundraisers and even the occasional wake.\n\nIf not always the most practical person, she was at least able to manage on her own.\n\nDid she look and feel like the wife of Brandon Sloan anymore?\n\nHad he left the hotel and found his way to a sports bar?\n\nEveryone liked Brandon. He was easy to like since he didn't have to deal with the details of paying bills, raising their sons, figuring out their future. When faced with unemployment, he'd taken off for the mountains with a backpack and his dreams. He'd never meant to be a carpenter forever. He was good at it, he even liked it\u2014but he thought he should be doing something else. Maggie didn't even know what anymore. She doubted he did, either.\n\nShe put him out of her mind and dialed her mother's house. Tyler picked up. \"Gran's making hot chocolate.\"\n\n\"Hey, Tyler. Why are you still up?\"\n\n\"The bat woke us up.\"\n\n\"I see.\" Bats weren't unheard of at her mother's farmhouse, especially in summer. \"Where's the bat now?\"\n\n\"Gran shooed it outside with a broom. I helped.\"\n\n\"Good for you. What about your brother?\"\n\n\"He hid under his blanket. He's having hot chocolate, too.\"\n\n\"All right. Well, you two be good and help Gran. Tell her I called, okay?\"\n\n\"I will, Mom. When are you coming home?\"\n\n\"Tomorrow.\"\n\n\"Did you see Dad?\"\n\nShe couldn't lie to her son. \"I did, but just for a few minutes.\"\n\n\"He's taking me and Aidan camping.\"\n\nMaggie heard the questioning note in Tyler's voice and responded without hesitation. \"Yes, absolutely, he's taking you and Aidan camping.\" That was one thing she knew for certain: Brandon would keep his promise to his sons. \"Go enjoy your hot chocolate. I'll see you tomorrow.\"\n\nWhen she disconnected, she threw her phone onto the entry table and sank onto the sofa. It opened out into a bed. She would sleep there.\n\nShe kicked off her shoes and noticed a side seam in her flowing dress had split an inch, probably from dancing with her husband.\n\n\"Why aren't you here with me, Brandon?\"\n\nShe hugged her arms around herself and burst into tears.\n\n* * *\n\nPhoebe could hear the pitter-pat of rain on the library roof as she sat cross-legged on the wood floor of the hidden attic room. Too wired to sleep after the masquerade ball and the drive back to Knights Bridge, she'd changed into yoga pants and a lightweight fleece tunic, intending to do a few stretches on the living room floor, but she'd ended up grabbing a flashlight and heading out into what was then a light drizzle. As she'd breathed in the damp night air, she imagined her swashbuckler's arms around her.\n\nWhat a night it had been.\n\nShe'd walked down Thistle Lane to the library, letting herself in through the side door. Putting aside thoughts of ghosts, she'd debated a moment before starting up the back stairs. A more formal set of stairs in the main room led just to the second floor. In her five years with the library, she'd seldom ventured up to the attic. One of those rare times was two weeks ago, and it had resulted in the discovery of the dresses that she, Olivia and Maggie had worn tonight.\n\nIt was pouring rain now, pitch-dark outside. Phoebe had never been up to the attic at night. She half expected a bat to fly out from its dark recesses, crowded with cast-off library furnishings, archives, books and everything her waste-not, want-not predecessors over the past century-plus had thought might come in handy someday.\n\nShe'd come upon the hidden room accidentally, when she'd lifted a small paper bag sitting on top of an old filing cabinet and a dozen antique marbles broke out of the bottom. They dropped onto the floor, rolling every which way. Several rolled under two tin closets standing side by side, filled with more junk and treasures. She'd edged between the closets, determined to collect the marbles.\n\nAs she'd bent down to retrieve a colorful swirled boulder, she noticed a door behind the free-standing closets. She'd had no idea it was there. Madly curious, she'd tucked the marble in her dress pocket and shoved the closets back just enough to give her room to get at the door. It was unlocked but obviously hadn't been opened in a while. It hadn't given way easily.\n\nShe'd expected to find that it was a closet, probably stuffed with more of the mishmash of materials in the rest of the attic. Instead the door opened into a small room that she hadn't even realized existed. It was lined with shelves and cupboards neatly arranged with fabric, patterns, buttons, zippers, needles, thread, notions, buttons\u2014everything an avid seamstress might need.\n\nA secret sewing room.\n\nIt felt like a hideaway, a tiny retreat where someone could sit and work in peace and quiet. Another door opened onto a remote corner of the sprawling attic, by a small window that overlooked the town common. A dusty sewing table was positioned so that a seamstress could work with a pleasant view and a bit of natural light.\n\nThe only thing that seemed to be missing for a fully equipped sewing room was an actual sewing machine.\n\nPhoebe had done a quick survey of the contents of the room and discovered the Hollywood-inspired and period dresses in two matching cedar-lined trunks and several hanging garment bags. Leaving everything undisturbed, she'd replaced the tin closets in front of the door and decided to keep the room her secret for the time being.\n\nA few days later, she'd gone back and picked out the three dresses to be cleaned.\n\nNow, tired, a little spooked with the dark night and rain, she raised the lid on a sewing basket. Given the conditions, she was ever-watchful for mice and spiders but the sewing kit yielded only pins, needles, thread, embroidery floss, a tracing wheel, cards of zigzag and seam binding.\n\nWho had sewn up here? Why leave so much behind?\n\nPhoebe took a sharp breath. Had the sewer of all these clothes died? Was that why the incredible dresses were still here?\n\nI have to know.\n\nShe pulled all the notions and other items out of the sewing kit and laid them on the floor, looking for any clues that would help identify who had sewn the dresses she, Maggie and Olivia had worn to Boston tonight.\n\nHer Edwardian gown had attracted her swashbuckler and hidden her from the scrutiny of the mystery man in the coatroom.\n\nA night of mysteries, she thought, untangling several zippers.\n\nA browned sheet of paper was matted to the bottom of the sewing basket. Phoebe carefully peeled it off and saw that it was a practice sheet of the conjugation of the French verb to be in a neat, feminine handwriting: Je suis, tu es, il\/elle est, nous sommes, vous \u00eates, ils\/elles sont.\n\nPhoebe had taken French in high school and college but she was rusty and wasn't sure she could have managed to conjugate even a simple verb. Had the seamstress gone to high school in Knights Bridge? Had she been a student when she'd set up this room?\n\nSo many questions.\n\nPhoebe returned the sheet of French verbs to the sewing kit and carefully replaced all the supplies. She stood, finally feeling the effects of her long day. She grabbed her flashlight and shut the door, moved the closets back into place, then headed back down the steep, dark stairs. The creaks and groans of the old building normally didn't faze her, but the hidden room had her thinking about ghosts as she locked up.\n\nIt was still raining when she started back down Thistle Lane. She'd gone out without a raincoat or umbrella, but it was a warm, gentle rain, as if to remind her what was real and what wasn't real.\n\nPretending to be a princess and dancing with a mysterious swashbuckler at a Boston charity ball had been a fleeting fantasy, a peek into another kind of life.\n\nSomeone else's life. Not hers.\nFive\n\nNoah slept fitfully and awoke wishing he had sent a check for the neonatal ICU instead of attending the masquerade ball. He could have gone straight back to California after hiking in the White Mountains or stayed in California altogether. Either way, he'd have spared himself meeting the potential love of his life and letting her slip through his fingers.\n\nIt was his own fault. He never should have left his princess and chased after his mystery man, if, indeed, that was who he'd spotted.\n\nThere had to be a way to find her.\n\nHe decided he didn't want to deal with email and voice mail and \"accidentally\" dropped his iPhone in the water-filled bathroom sink.\n\nThe people who truly needed to reach him would figure it out.\n\nHe got dressed, appreciating his normal black trousers and black shirt. No more hiking clothes, no more swashbuckler cape. He went down for breakfast and tried to act as if he'd had a good night.\n\nOnce he had coffee, he decided he probably shouldn't have tossed his phone into the sink.\n\nHe'd run into people last night from his MIT days. Rumors were circulating about what was next for him now that NAK had gone public. One account had him staying on as CEO, another shifting into research and development. Focusing on his Central Coast winery. Getting deeper into venture capital, starting a new business, devoting himself to philanthropy, moving into academia.\n\nNone of the rumors were true, if only because Noah had no idea what was next for him beyond whole-wheat pancakes and warm Vermont maple syrup for breakfast.\n\nHe'd finished his pancakes when Dylan and Olivia wandered into the restaurant and joined him at his table. Waiters quickly brought out fresh place settings. Olivia had on lightweight jeans and a green linen top that matched her eyes. Dylan was in jeans and a hiking shirt, as if he hadn't thought about being at the Boston hotel this morning. Noah hadn't, either. He just generally wore the same thing.\n\nOlivia sat next to Dylan. She looked radiant, comfortable in her own skin in a way she hadn't on Noah's brief trip east in early spring.\n\nHe'd been assaulted by black flies then, he remembered.\n\n\"Loretta called,\" Dylan said. \"She said she emailed you and left you a voice mail and thought she'd hear back by now.\"\n\n\"Phone's broken.\"\n\n\"Dropped it again?\"\n\n\"In the sink. Water damage.\"\n\n\"Ah.\" Dylan shifted his gaze to Olivia. \"Noah breaks a lot of phones.\"\n\n\"You get distracted and drop them?\" she asked.\n\nNoah ignored Dylan's obvious amusement at her question. \"You could say that.\"\n\nDylan grinned. \"He gets pissed off and kills his phone.\"\n\n\"Not often,\" Noah said, keeping his attention on Olivia. \"Dropping my phone in water is an indulgence but the alternative is to get distracted by the thing.\"\n\n\"It's how his mind works,\" Dylan said, leaving it at that. \"What does Loretta want with you?\"\n\nNoah glanced past him and looked out tall windows as Boston slowly came to life on a quiet, sunny Saturday morning. \"I guess I'll call her and find out.\"\n\n\"Noah?\"\n\nHe heard the concern in his friend's voice and shifted back to him. \"It's all good, Dylan. No worries.\"\n\nDylan was clearly unconvinced. \"Loretta has no official role with NAK. She's my lawyer and business manager, and my friend. You two aren't cooking up a surprise party. Something's wrong. What?\"\n\n\"You're moving on. I don't want you to worry about this stuff.\"\n\n\"What stuff?\" Dylan asked, eyes narrowed, alert. \"What's going on, Noah? You might as well tell me. I'm not going to quit badgering you until you do.\"\n\nBadgering was one of Dylan's qualities that had been most helpful and necessary during the past four years. It also could be inconvenient and, occasionally, annoying. But Noah saw that he had to tell him.\n\nHe shrugged. \"Some guy's on my tail. He was here last night. At least I think it was him. I could be wrong\u2014\"\n\n\"But you're not.\" Dylan took a breath. \"Early fifties. Six feet tall. Dark hair with a lot of gray. Black suit. No costume.\"\n\nNoah wasn't surprised Dylan could describe the man. Between his years on the ice and at NAK, he missed nothing. He'd honed his natural instincts about people, their motives and character. He'd turned down a larger role with NAK, but he'd been indispensable in transforming Noah's ideas and technical skills into a viable\u2014and ultimately highly successful\u2014company.\n\n\"Did you talk to this man you saw?\" Noah asked.\n\nDylan shook his head. \"He was watching you dance with your princess. Was she with him?\"\n\n\"Why would you think that?\"\n\n\"She left the ballroom right after he did. I tried to follow her but she disappeared before I could catch up with her. I didn't see the older gentleman.\"\n\n\"Did you recognize him?\"\n\n\"No,\" Dylan said without hesitation, then turned to Olivia. \"What about you? Did you see this man?\"\n\nShe set down her coffee cup. \"I spoke with him briefly. I think he's the one you're talking about. He asked what I knew about the woman Noah was dancing with.\"\n\n\"How did you respond?\" Noah asked, keeping his tone neutral.\n\n\"I didn't, really. I just said I was there to enjoy the evening. I had the feeling he knew you, Noah. I didn't think anything of it. We spoke for less than a minute. Then he moved on. Is he a problem?\"\n\n\"He's an unknown.\" Noah poured himself more coffee from a small silver pot. \"He might not be a problem at all. I spotted him a few times in San Diego.\"\n\n\"How many is a 'few'?\" Dylan asked.\n\n\"Three. At a restaurant where I was enjoying a nice fish dinner with a friend.\"\n\n\"One of your actresses?\"\n\nNoah ignored him. \"Then at the fencing studio. Third time was outside our offices. I ran into Loretta and we agreed she'd see if she could find out who he is and what he wants.\"\n\n\"Why not use one of your own people?\"\n\n\"Who are my people nowadays, Dylan?\"\n\nDylan tapped his fingers on the white tablecloth. \"Noah, is there any reason this guy would bird-dog you? Personal, professional\u2014anything?\"\n\nNoah pushed away his untouched coffee refill. \"Not everyone needs a reason.\"\n\n\"What does Loretta say?\"\n\n\"She's stumped. I hoped it'd turn out to be a case of too much time on my hands. Then I saw this strange man again last night. It's too big a coincidence for me to spot him in San Diego and then in Boston.\"\n\nDylan sat back. \"I'll talk to Loretta and take care of this.\"\n\nNoah shook his head. \"No, Dylan. Thank you, but Loretta and I are handling this on our own.\"\n\n\"Any ideas who he is, what he wants?\" Dylan asked.\n\n\"No.\"\n\n\"Is he stalking you or what?\"\n\n\"I wouldn't say stalking.\"\n\nDylan took in a sharp breath. \"Maybe you should involve NAK security. You're worth a lot of money. Your company recently went public. You've made a few enemies in the process.\"\n\n\"I don't think this is about money, enemies or power. It feels different.\"\n\n\"Personal?\"\n\n\"Maybe.\"\n\n\"An ex-girlfriend's father?\" Olivia asked. \"Something like that?\"\n\nNoah smiled at her. \"You're assuming I have an ex-girlfriend.\"\n\n\"More like a legion of them,\" Dylan muttered. When Olivia raised her eyebrows, he added, \"Noah's high-profile. A lot of women want to have a night on the town with him, at his expense. Deep down, though, he's still the high school geek who was better at math than most of his teachers. I wasn't, in case you were wondering.\"\n\n\"In other words,\" Noah said, his eyes on Olivia, \"I have a low threshold of trust where women are concerned.\" He sat back, wishing now he'd waited longer to have his pancakes. \"I also get dumped a lot.\"\n\n\"Because you don't like being used,\" Dylan said. \"Maybe you flipped the switch of one of your actress's crazy uncles, or someone is seizing the moment to see what they can get off you. We can speculate all morning. It won't get us anywhere.\"\n\n\"And it's not a problem until it's a problem,\" Noah said.\n\n\"This man hasn't made direct contact with you?\"\n\n\"Not yet, no.\"\n\n\"Maybe he sent you one of the emails you didn't want to read this morning.\"\n\n\"I'm not worried, Dylan,\" Noah said truthfully. \"If he wanted to physically harm me, he's had several chances.\"\n\n\"He could know you're a master fencer and a brown belt in karate.\"\n\n\"I hope he does.\"\n\n\"What if he's looking up dirt on you so that he can harm NAK?\" Olivia asked. \"What if he wants to harm you\u2014your reputation?\"\n\n\"Let him try. I have no skeletons in the closet.\" Noah gave her a slight smile. \"I'm not that interesting, Olivia. More than likely this man is just angling for money.\"\n\nDylan eyed Noah. \"Any chance there's a connection to me?\"\n\n\"I have no reason to think so, or that there's a connection to Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"Knights Bridge?\" Olivia sat forward. \"Why would there be a connection to Knights Bridge?\"\n\nNoah regretted his offhand comment and tried to reassure her. \"I'm sure there isn't one.\" He decided to change the subject. \"Unless my princess is hiding there. Are you positive you two didn't recognize her? She had quite arresting eyes. Almost turquoise. They reminded me of your friend Maggie's eyes but the color was deeper.\"\n\nOlivia reached suddenly for the cream pitcher. \"Really? I wonder who she could be.\"\n\nShe greeted the waiter a little too cheerfully when he arrived with her and Dylan's breakfasts. Noah glanced at Dylan and saw that he noticed her reaction, too.\n\nThe description of his dance partner had obviously struck a nerve with Olivia.\n\nNoah smiled. His princess might not be so lost, after all.\n\n* * *\n\nKnights Bridge was even prettier than Noah remembered from his visit in early April. Having leaves on the trees helped. He sat up front with Dylan while Olivia pointed out various landmarks from the backseat. She explained that the building of the Quabbin Reservoir and the subsequent flooding of much of the Swift River Valley had changed the development of the town, putting it off the beaten track and giving it a \"time has stopped here\" feel that was, both Olivia and Dylan again insisted, deceptive.\n\nMaybe so, Noah thought, but that didn't mean he wanted to do more than float in and out again. He had a chartered jet scheduled to meet him at a nearby private airport that evening.\n\nOf course, his princess could change everything. He'd hang out for a day or two in Knights Bridge and brave mosquitoes and its one restaurant if there was a chance he'd find out more about her.\n\nDylan turned onto a back road that wound toward Quabbin, his ease with the twists and turns suggesting a familiarity that reminded Noah that his best friend was, without a doubt, moving on from NAK. Less certain was whether he and Olivia planned to keep a home in San Diego. Noah would. Four New England winters during his years at MIT were enough for him.\n\nNot that he had any reason to move to Knights Bridge or anywhere else in New England.\n\nThe Farm at Carriage Hill was located in a picturesque mix of meadows, woods and stone walls. Its hand-painted sign, decorated with a cluster of chives, worked with the 1803 house with its cream-colored clapboards and rich blue front door. As he followed Olivia through her kitchen out to the stone terrace, Noah could see that she was turning her vision for her historic house into a reality. Even subtle changes were infused with her sense of color and design, and her love for her hometown. According to Dylan, she'd always planned on returning to Knights Bridge to open her own version of a bed-and-breakfast, even if her departure from Boston hadn't been entirely on her terms.\n\n\"Dylan and I will make lunch,\" she said. \"You can wait out here and familiarize yourself with New England herbs and flowers.\"\n\n\"You're assuming I want to know New England herbs and flowers.\"\n\nShe laughed. \"Yes, I am.\"\n\nShe went back inside, and Noah sat at the round table and observed the backyard. It really was attractive. Small-town life suited Olivia. He hadn't known her when she lived in Boston and worked at a prestigious design studio, but he knew from Dylan that she'd lost a major client in an underhanded way to a friend whose career Olivia had helped revive. The experience had served as a catalyst for her to transform her life.\n\nOne could only move forward from where one was standing, Noah thought as he stretched out his legs and tried to relax. Pretending otherwise was a fast way into trouble. He knew from hard experience that where he was standing at any given moment wasn't always where he wanted to be, or should be. That was just life. Not everything was under his control. Mistakes, incompetence, good intentions, bad intentions, good luck, bad luck, human nature\u2014lots of things beyond his control played a role.\n\nOf course, a lot under his control played a role in determining where he was, too. His own screwups, his own limitations, his own lack of vision and purpose.\n\nWere they what had this mystery man on his tail?\n\nNoah sank back in his chair, appreciating the quiet surroundings. Olivia certainly did have a knack with flowers and herbs. She came through the back door with a tray of sandwiches, her big, ugly dog trailing behind her.\n\nHe looked up at her as the dog, a German shepherd with a healthy mix of black Lab and probably several other breeds, promptly flopped down under the table, his big black-and-brown head on Noah's feet. \"What's his name again?\"\n\n\"Buster,\" Olivia said, placing the tray on the table. \"He adopted me when I first moved back here.\"\n\nDylan followed her onto the terrace, carrying two glasses of iced tea. He set one in front of Noah. \"Maybe you should get a dog, Noah.\"\n\nHe eased his foot out from under the dog's head. \"Does Buster have a brother?\"\n\n\"I hope not,\" Dylan said with a mock shudder.\n\nOlivia grinned at him. \"I thought you and Buster had bonded.\"\n\n\"We have, but one Buster is enough.\" He winked at her as he handed her the second glass of tea and sat across from Noah. \"All the world needs.\"\n\nBuster gave a deep, satisfied sigh from under the table. The dog was visibly calmer than when Noah had met him in April. A few months in Olivia's care no doubt had helped. Buster had clearly endeared himself to Dylan, despite an inauspicious meeting.\n\nNow here they all were\u2014Olivia Frost, Dylan McCaffrey and Buster.\n\nNoah smiled at what a great family they made. He'd never seen Dylan happier, and Olivia was fast becoming a friend herself. Noah helped himself to a chicken salad sandwich. It had some kind of herb in it. Fresh tarragon, he thought. If his princess was in Knights Bridge, was she into herbs, too?\n\n\"Who'll be minding Buster while you two are in San Diego?\" he asked casually.\n\n\"Maggie will be in every day,\" Olivia said. \"She and I are basically business partners. We're thinking about doing the paperwork to make it official. We work so well together.\"\n\n\"And she lives in Knights Bridge and likes herbs,\" Noah said.\n\n\"She also likes her mother's goats,\" Dylan added, his tone neutral. As he'd explained to Noah, the bonds between the people of Knights Bridge were sometimes tricky to navigate. The Frosts had been in the Swift River Valley and surrounding hills for generations. Despite Dylan's newly discovered roots in the region, he was still an outsider.\n\n\"Maggie loves herbs and goat's milk,\" Olivia said with a laugh. \"I don't know that much about goats, but the milk is perfect for the artisan soaps Maggie and I are making.\"\n\nNoah tried to keep any reaction to himself as it sank in that he was talking goats and soap at a two-hundred-year-old house on a dead-end road, surrounded by meadows, shade trees, green grass and a lot of flowers and herbs. It was a first.\n\nThe goats, he'd learned, belonged to Maggie's widowed mother and were a source of both tension and enjoyment within the O'Dunn family.\n\nObviously in a happy mood, Olivia sat between him and Dylan. \"I'll give you some samples of our goat's milk soap. We're still tinkering before we test-market it here. Maggie's on top of all the regulations.\"\n\n\"Complicated?\"\n\n\"Not too bad unless we make actual medicinal claims.\"\n\n\"Which you won't?\"\n\nShe shook her head. Noah saw that his interest surprised her, but she was the love of his best friend's life and he wanted to know about her and what she enjoyed. With Carriage Hill getting off the ground and the betrayal of her friend over stealing a client behind her, Olivia's natural optimism had clearly returned.\n\nFalling in love didn't hurt, either.\n\nNoah thought of his princess. He could feel the curve of her hip, see the warmth in her eyes, the soft swell of her creamy breasts. Why had he left her? Why hadn't he let the mystery man come to him?\n\nBecause he hadn't wanted his life in San Diego\u2014who he really was\u2014to intrude on the moment. The fantasy they both were enjoying.\n\nEither that, or he hadn't known what the hell he was thinking.\n\nHe wasn't thinking she'd disappear, that was for sure.\n\n\"Noah?\" Dylan asked with a frown.\n\nHe sighed. \"Mind drifting. Thinking about hiking in the mountains, then playing a swashbuckler at a ball\u2014I've got mental whiplash.\"\n\n\"Not a chance,\" his friend said without hesitation. \"You never have mental whiplash, whatever that is.\"\n\n\"It's a big change to go from waking up in a sleeping bag on a mountain to dancing at a charity ball that night.\"\n\nDylan was still obviously unconvinced. \"You knew the deal. There were no surprises.\" He shifted, then smiled. \"Except for your princess. I guess she could have you whiplashed in a number of ways.\"\n\n\"Funny, Dylan,\" Noah said.\n\nHe grinned. \"I thought so.\"\n\nAs they finished their simple lunch, Noah noticed a woman come out of a small shed at the far end of the yard. She had a cobalt-blue scarf tied around her head and long, dark strawberry curls trailing down her back. She started up a bark-mulch path, and Noah saw she wore a deep red top that accentuated her breasts and shorts that shaped slim hips. Her sport sandals, though, looked as if they'd gone up and down Mt. Washington a time or two.\n\nWhen she reached the terrace, she stayed on the path and motioned toward a raised flower bed as she addressed Olivia. \"The slugs got to the miniature dahlias, Liv. They're so gross. I put out slug bait and trimmed back the worst of the damage.\" She shuddered, then smiled brightly. \"I was admiring the gardens and couldn't resist going on slug patrol when I saw the carnage.\"\n\n\"Yuck,\" Olivia said. \"I hate slugs. Only thing worse are ticks.\"\n\nNoah glanced at Dylan. Slugs? Ticks? What had happened to bucolic small-town New England?\n\nDylan seemed to read his mind, with obvious amusement. \"Ticks suck blood and can be hard to see,\" he explained, not that an explanation was necessary or desired.\n\n\"Oh, sorry,\" Olivia said. \"Noah, this is my friend Phoebe O'Dunn. Maggie's sister. Phoebe, this is\u2014\"\n\n\"Noah. Noah Kendrick.\" He got to his feet and put out a hand. \"A pleasure, Phoebe.\"\n\nShe wiped a palm on her hip and smiled as she shook his hand, her skin warm, soft, her fingers long and slender. \"I wore garden gloves when I took on the slugs, but you never know. It's nice to meet you, Noah. I hope you're enjoying Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"Hard not to on such a beautiful day, despite images of slugs and ticks.\"\n\n\"Sorry about that,\" she said, the twinkle in her eyes belying her words. \"Are you here for long?\"\n\n\"That's not the plan.\"\n\nNoah saw that her eyes were a similar turquoise to her sister's but shook off any comparison with his princess from last night. The false eyelashes, the heavy makeup\u2014how would he be able to tell for sure? He doubted he'd recognize her voice. He wasn't good at that sort of thing.\n\nNow if he could touch her hips...\n\nHe shook off that thought, too. Whatever Olivia knew about his dance partner and wasn't saying, it didn't involve this attractive slug-hunter in scarf and muddy clothes.\n\nDefinitely not the same turquoise eyes.\n\nWith one smooth movement, Phoebe pulled off her scarf and gave her curls a shake once they were free. She seemed natural, unselfconscious. In her element, he thought.\n\n\"Well, if you do decide to stay on,\" she said, \"we'll make sure you're not bored.\"\n\nNoah felt his eyebrows go up and heard Dylan give a little cough behind him.\n\n\"Phoebe's the town librarian,\" Olivia added quickly.\n\n\"She can keep me in reading material, then.\" Noah smiled at Knights Bridge's redheaded librarian. \"Nothing like a good book.\"\n\n\"That's right. I love to read. I meant to tie a hammock to two shade trees in my backyard this summer but I haven't gotten to it. Reading a good book in a hammock in the shade\u2014doesn't that sound like the perfect summer afternoon?\"\n\n\"Provided the hammock is tick- and slug-free,\" Noah said mildly.\n\nPhoebe laughed. \"Definitely.\" Her gaze steadied on him, her face angled so that the sunlight brought out the gold highlights in her hair and the spray of freckles on her nose and cheeks. \"Were you at the masquerade ball last night?\"\n\n\"Yes, I was. Were you?\"\n\nShe waved a hand. \"My youngest sisters and I helped Olivia and Maggie with their costumes.\"\n\n\"More O'Dunn sisters?\" Noah asked.\n\n\"There are four of us. Ava and Ruby are twins. They're home for the summer but they're in graduate school. They're studying theater. They'd have gone last night if they'd had the time.\"\n\n\"Maggie seemed to enjoy herself,\" Olivia said.\n\nPhoebe smiled. \"Oh, good. She'll be back home soon. I can't wait to hear how her night on the town went. I'm sure it was a fantastic evening.\"\n\nNoah sat back on his chair. There. He could rule out Phoebe O'Dunn and her turquoise eyes. Not that he'd seriously considered her, given her penchant for gardening and hammocks and her willingness to take on slugs. That didn't fit with his princess.\n\nSo what did Olivia know that she wasn't saying?\n\nNoah ground his teeth. What was he doing? The woman he'd danced with and then abandoned last night was as much a fantasy for him as her swashbuckler was for her.\n\nHe was no swashbuckler.\n\nRight now he was just bored. After the months of tension and the grueling pace of taking his company public, he finally had time to come up for air. He'd even looked forward to a few days hiking in the White Mountains.\n\nHis princess was a mirage, and maybe so was his mystery man.\n\nHe needed to head back to San Diego before he conjured up real trouble.\n\nExcept he didn't want to go back.\n\nHe felt his spine stiffen at the thought of staying in Knights Bridge. On the one hand, it felt like the right thing to do. A fun distraction. On the other hand...it was totally insane. The only person he really knew there was Dylan, and Dylan and Olivia were joining him on the flight back to San Diego tonight. She wanted to see NAK and her fianc\u00e9's home.\n\nNoah watched Phoebe O'Dunn kick a chunk of dried mud off one sandal and found that he wouldn't mind getting to know Knights Bridge's slug-hunting librarian.\n\nThree nights in the White Mountains must have affected his brain cells.\n\nWhen he tuned back into the conversation, Olivia and Phoebe had started to cross the terrace, chatting as they disappeared through the screen door into the kitchen.\n\nNoah frowned at Dylan. \"What did I miss?\"\n\nDylan sighed. \"Phoebe rode her bike here. That's why we didn't see her car.\"\n\n\"Ah.\"\n\n\"This is why you study fencing and karate. They force you to stay focused. If your mind wanders, you get stabbed or punched.\"\n\n\"It's not that simple.\"\n\n\"Nothing is with you,\" Dylan said without any hint of criticism.\n\nNoah stood. Except for a few holes in their waxy-green leaves, the flowers where Phoebe O'Dunn had done her slug work appeared fine to him. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen a slug. He stepped off the terrace onto the soft grass. Buster rolled out from under the table and followed him, then settled onto his stomach in the shade.\n\n\"I could always watch Buster while you and Olivia are in San Diego,\" Noah said.\n\nDylan scratched the side of his mouth. \"Dog sit? You're kidding, right? You've never even owned a dog.\"\n\n\"What difference does that make? How hard could it be to keep an eye on Buster here? Feed him, water him, walk him. Done.\"\n\nDylan didn't bother to hide his skepticism. \"What are you thinking, Noah?\"\n\nHe didn't really know what he was thinking. Sometimes he came up with a solution before he had fully, consciously grasped the problem. Buster yawned, then stretched as he relaxed completely. \"What if I told you I want to make sure our mystery man isn't here?\" Noah asked.\n\n\"In Knights Bridge, you mean?\"\n\n\"Correct.\"\n\n\"Is that a hunch, or do you have evidence he could be here?\"\n\n\"It's not even good enough to be a hunch.\"\n\nDylan didn't respond for a moment. They'd had similar conversations many times over their long friendship. \"Is there any possibility this guy is connected to my father?\"\n\n\"For all I know he's connected to the man on the moon.\" Noah reined in his frustration. \"I have zero to go on. I only know what I've told you.\"\n\n\"It's not enough.\"\n\n\"No, it's not.\"\n\nOlivia came out the back door. \"Phoebe just left. Did you guys say anything to her?\"\n\nDylan shook his head. \"I didn't. Noah?\"\n\n\"We talked slugs,\" Noah said. \"Why?\"\n\n\"She just seemed quieter than usual. I'm sure it's nothing. Noah, did I hear you say you want to dog sit?\"\n\n\"Sure.\" He realized he was at least semi-serious. He squatted down and patted Buster. \"Your pup and I have bonded.\"\n\n\"But you're...\" Olivia looked at Dylan, then back at Noah as if she hadn't heard him right. \"Of course you're welcome to stay here, but Maggie can look after Buster. I mean...\" She seemed at a loss for words.\n\n\"You mean you don't understand why a billionaire would offer to dog sit,\" Noah finished for her, matter-of-factly.\n\nShe blushed. \"I guess that's what I mean.\"\n\nHe suspected Olivia was eager to change the subject. \"Your friend Phoebe seems very nice. I hope I wasn't rude.\"\n\n\"Not at all. Phoebe's cool. She doesn't ruffle easily. Maggie's like that, too, at least when she's working. She can be hotheaded otherwise. I wish Phoebe had come with us last night but she wouldn't. Long story.\" Olivia glanced back at the kitchen, then shifted again to Noah. \"If you're not ready to go back to San Diego, Dylan and I can stay here with you. We're flexible. I want to see Southern California, but it's not going anywhere.\"\n\nNoah stood up. \"Are you nervous about flying?\"\n\n\"Nothing I can't handle.\" She spoke half under her breath, as if reminding herself that she had her fear of flying under control and wouldn't let it stop her from doing what she wanted to do. \"If you really do want to stay, you're welcome to use one of the guestrooms here.\"\n\n\"Complete with vintage linens, from what Dylan has told me.\" Noah considered the graceful center-chimney house and surrounding acreage that comprised The Farm at Carriage Hill. \"It sounds perfect, Olivia. I actually could use some time just to hang out on my own.\"\n\nDylan grunted. \"No one would look for you here, dog sitting, that's for damn sure.\"\n\n\"The plane's gassed up and ready,\" Noah said. \"Go on. I'll join you as soon as I've had enough of country life.\"\n\n\"Before we've reached altitude, then,\" Dylan joked. His good humor evaporated quickly and he narrowed his eyes again on Noah. \"I don't like the idea of leaving you here alone with this guy on your tail.\"\n\n\"I won't be alone. I'll have Buster.\"\n\n\"There'll be guys working up the road at my place, too. The Sloans. Maggie's in-laws. They're handling the construction.\" Dylan grimaced, shook his head. \"I still don't like it.\"\n\n\"Amazingly, Dylan, my friend, I have managed not just whole hours and days but whole weeks and now even months without you down the hall from me. I'll be fine.\"\n\nBuster roused himself and stood by Olivia. He seemed aware on some level that she was about to leave him with a stranger who knew next to nothing about dogs. She scratched his big head. \"Staying here won't be what you're used to, Noah. Not that I know what you're used to, but I'm not...\" She made a face but smiled through her discomfort. \"Do people often get tongue-tied when they try to talk to you?\"\n\nDylan answered before Noah could. \"Only until they learn he got perfect scores on his SATs and graduated a year early from MIT. Then it gets interesting. A billion in the bank's nothing compared to being good at math.\"\n\nNoah smiled at Olivia. \"Ignore him. He's been like that since kindergarten.\"\n\n\"This place is coming together,\" she said, \"but it's not done yet. There's so much more to do. So many possibilities.\"\n\n\"You love it here,\" Noah said.\n\n\"I do. As I mentioned, Maggie will be in and out, if you don't mind.\"\n\n\"It's your house.\"\n\n\"She can help you with anything you need. Phoebe can, too. She's always willing to help people, and she knows at least as much about what's going on in town as her mother does. Elly works at the town offices. She's a ball of fire, if you run into her. She'll tell you anything you want to know about goats and then some.\"\n\n\"Good to know,\" Noah said with a sideways glance at Dylan. Goats. They were discussing goats again.\n\n\"Sure you want to stay?\" Dylan asked with a grin.\n\nOlivia ignored them both. \"Noah, if you want to keep your presence here a secret, Maggie and Phoebe won't say anything. People in town are aware of who you are, because of my relationship with Dylan, but they'll assume you're in San Diego. They won't recognize you. For one thing, they'd expect you to have an entourage.\"\n\nNoah was amused. \"An entourage,\" he said.\n\n\"You know.\" Olivia shrugged. \"People. Bodyguards and chauffeurs and valets. That sort of thing.\"\n\nHe'd had a chauffeur and a bodyguard from time to time, but never a valet. He'd always managed to get himself dressed. He might have danced with a woman pretending to be a princess, but he wasn't a prince.\n\n\"The women he dates have entourages,\" Dylan said. \"Noah's just a guy with a lot of zeroes in his net worth.\"\n\nNoah rolled his eyes but addressed Olivia. \"Your fianc\u00e9 is dangerous when he starts talking numbers.\"\n\nShe laughed. \"I can see how you two were a good pair at NAK and have stayed friends for so long. I need to run into town. I want to see Maggie before we leave for the airport. Noah, you can hang out with Buster and see how it goes. There's still time to change your mind.\"\n\nAs she went back through the kitchen, Noah stepped back onto the terrace and sat at the table. He heard bumblebees buzzing in purple flowers behind a green-painted bench. They weren't chives. Some kind of mint, he thought. If he stayed in Knights Bridge for more than forty-eight hours, he probably would learn all about New England flowers and herbs.\n\n\"Do you think Olivia will fall in love with San Diego?\" he asked.\n\nDylan's eyes darkened. \"I hope so, but Knights Bridge is where she belongs. It's home for her. It always was, even when she was in Boston.\"\n\n\"You belong here, too,\" Noah said. \"You know there's ice here in the winter, right? Also in the fall and spring, and probably at times in the dead of summer, too.\"\n\n\"You're a riot, Noah,\" Dylan said.\n\n\"Think Buster needs a walk?\" Noah asked.\n\n\"You're the dog sitter. You tell me.\"\n\nNoah frowned at the big dog. Hell if he could tell. \"Think I've bitten off more than I can chew?\"\n\n\"Way more.\"\n\n\"Well. I need a walk, and I'll bet I can talk Buster into coming along. What about you?\"\n\nDylan shook his head in bemusement. \"I'll get Buster's leash.\"\nSix\n\nPhoebe had her gorgeous brown silk gown zipped into a garment bag and hung in a closet before Maggie, wearing a black sundress that drained what color there was in her face, arrived with the outfits she and Olivia had worn.\n\n\"Olivia's getting cold feet about going to San Diego,\" Maggie said as she entered Phoebe's small living room. \"I told her she has to go so she can bring the boys stuffed giraffes from the zoo.\"\n\n\"She'll go,\" Phoebe said. \"It's just preflight jitters.\"\n\n\"I hope so. The ball was incredible last night. You'd have loved the costumes.\"\n\nMaggie laid the Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly dresses on a loveseat angled against the front windows, the afternoon summer sun streaming through filmy curtains.\n\n\"Then you and Olivia had a good time?\" Phoebe asked.\n\n\"Olivia especially did. She's so much more comfortable in her own skin than she was when she moved back to town. Your dresses were a hit.\" Maggie gave her Grace Kelly gown a lingering look, as if she was thinking about last night and what might have been. She smiled stiffly at Phoebe. \"What have you been up to?\"\n\n\"I just came from Olivia's. The basil needs to be picked. She won't have time before she goes to San Diego. I thought maybe you and I could make pesto or something.\"\n\n\"Sure. That'd be great.\"\n\n\"She and Dylan arrived with Noah Kendrick,\" Phoebe said, wanting to do something\u2014say something\u2014to penetrate her sister's pensive mood. \"Did you meet him last night? He's not what I expected.\"\n\n\"In what way?\"\n\n\"I don't know. I guess I thought he'd be fidgety but he's not. He's...\" She thought a moment. \"Calm, I suppose.\"\n\n\"He and Dylan went straight from hiking in the White Mountains to the masquerade last night. He's probably tired, but it wouldn't matter. He strikes me as calm, too. Centered. I expected such a genius tech type to be a little weird, but he doesn't come across that way.\" Maggie smoothed a few wrinkles in the dress with her fingertips then stood back, marginally more cheerful. \"I should go. I promised the boys I'd ride bikes with them. I missed them last night.\"\n\nPhoebe followed her out to the porch, the afternoon still and warm. \"Maggie, are you okay?\"\n\n\"Just tired. I'm not used to nights on the town. What are you doing the rest of the day?\"\n\n\"I'll stop at Mom's later. Right now I'm going to put my feet up in the shade and read a book. Maybe a good swashbuckler tale.\"\n\nMaggie seemed to pull herself out of her own private thoughts and focus more on the conversation. \"There were swashbucklers at the ball last night.\"\n\n\"I'm sure there were,\" Phoebe said. She didn't want to lie outright but skirting the truth seemed just as duplicitous. She changed the subject. \"I'll have the dresses cleaned. We're going to use them in the fashion show. Maybe you and Olivia can model them.\"\n\n\"Only if you insist,\" Maggie said with a welcome laugh. \"Olivia and I will pay for the cleaning. We just didn't want to do anything without checking with you first. It was quite an experience last night. You'll get the Edwardian gown cleaned at the same time?\"\n\nPhoebe felt her heartbeat quicken. \"What Edwardian gown?\"\n\nHer sister paused on the top porch step and turned to her. \"The deep brown sequined Edwardian gown you wore last night. It was you, wasn't it?\" When Phoebe didn't respond, Maggie nearly choked. \"Phoebe! It was you! I was just testing. I wasn't really serious.\"\n\nPhoebe groaned. \"Maggie...\"\n\n\"I didn't know you could dance like that.\"\n\n\"I can't. The man I danced with can. I have no idea who he is. Please don't say anything, Maggie. I decided to go at the last minute. I know I could have called you and Olivia but if I had, I'd have chickened out and stayed here, or turned around halfway to Boston.\" Phoebe took a breath, trying to control the tumble of words, the feeling that she'd just been caught doing something embarrassing and dumb. \"I'd have been too self-conscious if you two knew. I'd never have gone through with it.\"\n\n\"Why? You were gorgeous. Really. People couldn't take their eyes off you.\"\n\n\"That's kind of you to say\u2014\"\n\n\"It's true. I saw you and wondered if it was you. Then you disappeared, and I was distracted.\"\n\nProbably by Brandon, Phoebe thought. \"You can't tell anyone I was there last night. I'd just die if anyone knew, and sneaking in like that just makes it worse. I wasn't myself.\" Phoebe looked at the pink roses trailing up her white-painted trellis. This is my life. She got her breathing and heartbeat under control and turned back to her sister. \"There is one thing you could do for me. I'd like to get a message to the man I danced with. I wonder if Dylan might know him.\"\n\nMaggie frowned. \"What kind of message, Phoebe?\"\n\n\"As I was leaving, I overheard another man talking on the phone about him. Not by name but by his description...\" She paused, removing a folded piece of paper from her dress pocket. \"After I got home last night, I typed up everything the man said.\" Except, she thought, what he'd said about finding out who her swashbuckler's dance partner was. She didn't want any reason for anyone\u2014Dylan, Olivia, her sister\u2014to worry about her. She thrust the note at Maggie. \"I was going to give it to Dylan when he got back from Boston, but I chickened out.\"\n\n\"Because you don't want him to know you were there last night,\" Maggie said with some sympathy.\n\nPhoebe nodded. \"I didn't tell Olivia, either. I got so carried away dancing. If I'd just slipped in, had a few hors d'oeuvres, checked out the costumes and left, that'd be one thing. But I didn't.\"\n\n\"You had a good time, Phoebe. You didn't make a spectacle of yourself, if that's what you're thinking.\"\n\nIt was exactly what she was thinking. \"I just don't want to have to explain. It was a moment, and it's over.\" She smiled. \"I'm back home where I belong.\"\n\n\"Right. I understand, Phoebe.\" Maggie held up the folded paper, a spark in her eyes now. \"What's in the note? Anything juicy?\"\n\n\"I only heard one end of the conversation so I don't have the context for what was said. It struck me as provocative. Like this guy had an ax to grind with my swashbuckler. He'd already disappeared on me, so I just got out of there. Then I thought about it and realized I probably should have found him and told him what I overheard. I hadn't wanted to chase him down if he didn't want...you know.\"\n\n\"You mean you didn't want to go find him if he'd ditched you,\" her sister said.\n\nPhoebe felt her cheeks flame. \"That's what I mean, yes.\"\n\nMaggie sighed. \"I can't say I blame you.\"\n\n\"When I got home I decided I should write everything down.\"\n\n\"Was there an implied or direct threat in what you overheard? Were you afraid? We can always talk to Eric.\"\n\nEric Sloan was Brandon's eldest brother, a town police officer. \"I'd have grabbed a security guard if I'd felt threatened. It wasn't anything that overt. Really, for all I know my swashbuckler was stepping out on his wife last night and she sicced this guy on him.\" Phoebe gave a small, thin laugh. \"That'd be right up my alley, wouldn't it? Not that I'll ever see him again.\"\n\n\"Phoebe\u2014\"\n\nShe held up a hand, stopping her sister. \"No, don't. Don't tell me anything you know, anything you suspect. I want to forget last night. I've assuaged my conscience by writing the note and giving it to you to give to Dylan. Let him think someone tucked it in your dress and you only just found it.\"\n\n\"You mean I lie to him instead of you lying to him?\" Maggie grinned suddenly, tucking the note in her pocket. \"I'm proud of you, Phoebe. I didn't think you had it in you to be a little devious.\"\n\n\"I just don't want this to become a thing. You can read the note. If you think I'm overreacting and it's not worth giving to Dylan, just toss it out your window.\"\n\n\"And risk having some big gossip in town find it? No way. Did you include a description of this man you overheard?\"\n\n\"I did, yes.\"\n\n\"You're a regular James Bond.\"\n\nPhoebe was relieved to see Maggie more animated, even if it was at her own expense. \"Whatever is going on, it has nothing to do with me. I was just a curiosity.\"\n\n\"Because of that killer dress, not to mention a couple of dips you took while dancing\u2014\"\n\n\"Maggie, please. Don't.\"\n\nHer sister tilted her head back, studying Phoebe in the late-afternoon light. \"This swashbuckler of yours really got to you, didn't he?\"\n\n\"We had a moment and now it's over, as well it should be. It wasn't real. For me, or for him.\"\n\nMaggie nodded. \"Okay. If you say so. Meet you at Mom's in a bit?\"\n\n\"Sure. Maggie, last night\u2014\"\n\n\"It was a strange night for both of us, Phoebe. Let's just leave it at that.\"\n\nBrandon, Phoebe thought, but she said nothing as Maggie trotted down the porch steps and back out to her car, at least in a better mood than when she'd arrived. Brandon had to have been the reason for her melancholy. Phoebe tensed, wishing she could pick up the phone and give her brother-in-law a piece of her mind. She might not always speak up for herself\u2014she wasn't by nature a bold person\u2014but she would defend her sisters.\n\nOnly Maggie had told Phoebe, Ava, Ruby and their mother to stay out of the problems between her and Brandon, and she was totally right to do so. They'd never really discussed the details of what had driven Maggie back to Knights Bridge without her husband.\n\nPhoebe sat on a wicker chair and breathed in the warm summer air, scented with roses. Why hadn't she wanted Maggie to tell her what she might know\u2014any suspicions she might have\u2014about her dance partner?\n\nMaybe, Phoebe thought, it wasn't just that she was worried that, unmasked, she'd be a disappointment in real life. Maybe she was worried he would be, too.\n\nShe liked the fantasy of last night, she realized.\n\nShe didn't want it to end.\n\n* * *\n\nMaggie was close to hyperventilating as she arrived at Carriage Hill, all but screeching to a stop on the side of the narrow back road.\n\nWhat was she going to do? That was Phoebe last night. With Noah Kendrick.\n\n\"My sister,\" she said aloud.\n\nShe had to calm down. It was one night. That was all there was to it. There was no budding relationship between her sister and Noah Kendrick.\n\nMaggie pushed open her van door with a groan. There'd been sparks between them, though.\n\nA lot of sparks.\n\nShe jumped out and headed for the kitchen ell, a newer addition to the pretty antique house. She peered through the screen door but didn't see anyone and let herself in. Her breathing more or less back under control, she went through the mudroom out to the terrace.\n\nNoah Kendrick sat alone at the round table. He was as still as a statue, dressed head-to-toe in black.\n\n\"Where's Olivia?\" Maggie asked before he could say a word.\n\n\"Upstairs packing, I believe.\" He turned to her with an enigmatic smile. \"Hello, Maggie.\"\n\n\"Hello. Sorry. I'm in a whirlwind.\"\n\n\"You enjoyed your night out in Boston?\"\n\n\"I did, yes.\" She didn't dare ask him if he'd enjoyed his. He was smart, rich, experienced. He'd see right through her. \"Olivia's packed for San Diego? She and Dylan are going back with you? She hasn't bailed on you, has she?\"\n\n\"They're flying to San Diego together. I'm staying here.\" Noah's expression didn't change. \"I'm dog sitting.\"\n\nMaggie gulped in air. Dog sitting? Was he serious? She really was going to pass out if her family and friends kept throwing curveballs at her. Did Noah know about Phoebe? Was that why he was staying? Had to be, Maggie thought. Why else would a billionaire dog sit in little Knights Bridge, especially with his best friend in San Diego?\n\nShe gave herself a mental shake. Maybe Noah was staying because of the mystery man Phoebe had overheard. Of course Maggie had read the note. Phoebe had typed up her transcript and printed it, probably so no one could recognize her handwriting. She was thorough like that. Maggie would have thought of such a cover-up only after the fact.\n\n\"You're staying here alone?\" she asked Noah.\n\n\"I'll have Buster for company.\"\n\nBuster was a great dog but he didn't qualify as company for a billionaire. But what did she know about billionaires? \"Do you think Olivia will love it in San Diego?\"\n\nNoah seemed surprised by her question, as if it would never occur to him to ask. \"Dylan's place on Coronado is very nice. It's a great location. You can see the Pacific from almost every window.\"\n\n\"Sounds lovely. Brandon and I went to California right after we got married. He's always loved to travel. Well, I can't stay long. I promised the boys I'd ride bikes with them. We live in the village.\" Why couldn't she calm down? Noah was already looking suspicious, as if he could read her mind and knew she wasn't being entirely straight with him. Not straight at all, in fact. \"I should go find Olivia.\"\n\n\"She said you'd be working here some of the time.\"\n\n\"That's right. Do you like herbs, Noah? I'm thinking about trying some new recipes.\"\n\nHis gaze, already steady, leveled on her. \"Just be sure no slugs end up in the pot with them. I met your sister earlier. She'd been on slug patrol.\"\n\n\"My sister? I have three sisters\u2014\"\n\n\"Phoebe.\"\n\nHe gave no hint of recognition but he struck Maggie as a man of supreme self-control. She tried not to choke. \"Phoebe loves to dig in the dirt. When she's not reading a book in the shade, that is. I'll...um...\" She cleared her throat, wondering if she was purple from not breathing properly. \"I'll watch for slugs. See you soon.\"\n\nShe welcomed the cooler air inside the house and ran through the living room to the stairs that led to the second floor. She paused to catch her breath and look where she was going. She tripped up Olivia's narrow, steep stairs half the time, even on a good day.\n\nDid Phoebe have any idea that it was Noah last night? Noah clearly had no idea it had been her. Maggie got that. Phoebe in shorts and a T-shirt, poking around for slugs. Not exactly the image she'd presented at the masquerade. He'd be hoping for...well, not for Phoebe O'Dunn. Maggie felt a surge of resentment that anyone could reject her older sister, but she also had to admit that Phoebe at home in Knights Bridge wasn't at all like the woman in the Edwardian gown last night.\n\nBrandon Sloan as a pirate, however\u2014that matched who he really was.\n\nMaggie mounted the stairs carefully, using the handrail. She'd gotten caught up in the fantasy of the charity ball herself. She'd danced with Brandon, pretended that all the frustration and pain of the past year didn't exist. It was a moment, no more real and lasting than what Phoebe had experienced.\n\nShe found Olivia zipping up her suitcase in her bedroom at the front of the house. \"We have to talk,\" Maggie said in a low voice.\n\nOlivia stood, pushing her fair hair out of her face. Maggie shut the door behind her. \"It was Phoebe last night,\" she said without further preamble.\n\n\"In the Edwardian dress?\"\n\n\"The woman who danced with Noah Kendrick, Olivia. It was Phoebe.\"\n\nOlivia sank onto the edge of her bed. \"I was afraid of that.\"\n\n\"We can't tell anyone. I'm only telling you because Phoebe doesn't know it was Noah and Noah doesn't know it was Phoebe, and I'm not going to be the one to spill the beans, accidentally or on purpose. So you have to give Noah the note.\"\n\n\"What note?\"\n\nLeave it to Olivia to cut through everything else and focus on the crux of the matter at hand. Maggie pulled the note out of her dress pocket and handed it over. \"You can read it but I wouldn't if I were you. It's the transcript of one end of a phone call of some guy talking about Noah.\"\n\nOlivia winced. \"Middle-aged? No costume?\"\n\n\"Yeah. He had on an expensive suit. Why?\"\n\n\"Noah spotted him a few times in San Diego and now he seems to have followed him east. Maggie, he and Dylan will want to know who wrote this note.\"\n\nMaggie stiffened. \"I don't know who wrote it.\"\n\n\"You do, too,\" Olivia said, as if they were seven again. \"It was Phoebe, wasn't it?\"\n\n\"I didn't say that. I just said it's a transcript.\" Maggie waved a hand. \"Tell Noah and Dylan I found the note on the ballroom floor, or someone tucked it in my pocket while I was sipping champagne. I don't care. Just don't mention Phoebe.\"\n\n\"But, Maggie\u2014\"\n\n\"Olivia. I mean it. You have to promise. I talked to Phoebe. She doesn't know anything.\"\n\nOlivia sighed, clearly pained. \"I can't keep things from Dylan.\"\n\n\"You're not keeping anything from Dylan. I'm telling you right now that I don't know who wrote that note.\" Unlike her eldest sister, Maggie had no compunctions about a strategic white lie. \"You just can't say that Phoebe was Noah's princess. That shouldn't be hard. It's not as if Dylan would ask or it would make any difference in finding this guy tailing Noah.\"\n\nOlivia leaned back on her elbows, frowning, obviously contemplating the knotty situation into which Maggie had just thrust her. \"You, Phoebe and I are smart. We've slayed our share of dragons. But Dylan and Noah...\"\n\n\"I know. They're in a different league when it comes to dragon-slaying. If they think we're hiding something about this guy, they have a right to be annoyed. But we're really not.\"\n\n\"I'm not saying they'll be annoyed. I'm saying they'll find out who wrote that note.\"\n\nMaggie suspected her friend had a point and wished Phoebe had danced with someone else last night, or simply hadn't overheard the man in the coatroom.\n\nShe stood by a window, its simple curtain billowing slightly in the afternoon breeze. \"Olivia, do you think Noah would hire someone to find out the identity of his princess from last night?\"\n\n\"Hire someone? Who?\"\n\n\"I don't know. A private investigator or something.\"\n\nOlivia sat up straight. \"Now you're getting carried away. I guess we both are. It's probably because we didn't expect...\" She sighed, shaking her head, then fastened her green eyes on Maggie. \"It really was Phoebe last night?\"\n\n\"It really was.\" Maggie glanced out the window, down at the shaded front yard and quiet back road. \"Why do you think Noah is staying here? It's not to dog sit. Do you think he suspects his princess is in Knights Bridge?\"\n\nOlivia eased up off the bed and stood her suitcase on end on the polished wide-board pine floor.\n\nMaggie narrowed her eyes on her friend. \"Olivia?\"\n\n\"I think I may have given him the impression that she's here. He mentioned that his princess's eyes reminded him of the color of your eyes. Not that he thought it was you he danced with. I don't think he assumes she was related to you. Just that I know more than I've let on, which now I do, for sure. I thought maybe it was Ava or Ruby, only because Phoebe was so adamant about not going to the ball.\"\n\n\"She prides herself on paying her own way,\" Maggie said.\n\nOlivia nodded. \"I can appreciate that.\"\n\n\"Phoebe feels she always has to be the sensible one. It's because the rest of us are all nuts. My mother and the twins and me. We're dreamers. We always have a bunch of different things going on at once. We've never been good with money. It's bad enough that I'm like that, but then I married a guy who's like that, too.\"\n\n\"You've done right by yourself and the boys,\" Olivia said. \"That's what matters.\"\n\n\"I'm always afraid I'll go just that one step too far in my catering business, and it'll all come crashing down on my head. I tell myself that I'd work it out if I did make a mess of things.\" Maggie forced a smile. \"We'd just move in with my mother and the goats.\"\n\nOlivia groaned, but her mood was noticeably lighter. She fingered the handle of her suitcase. \"I can postpone this trip to San Diego.\"\n\n\"No, that would only look suspicious, and you need to get out there and see where Dylan's from, what his life before he met you was like. You'll love it. I remember Brandon and I had pi\u00f1a coladas at the Hotel del Coronado. We didn't stay there. Too expensive. Noah said Dylan's house is just up the street.\"\n\n\"Dylan warned me it has no color. Everything in it is white, cream or cappuccino.\" Olivia laughed, only a slight strain in her voice as she continued, \"I'm sure it's grand, but Knights Bridge has its charms.\"\n\n\"You two can always have a bicoastal life if you want to. You'll figure it out. No angsting, okay? Just go and enjoy yourself.\"\n\n\"I will. Promise. You'll keep an eye on Noah and Phoebe?\"\n\n\"There is no Noah and Phoebe, Olivia.\"\n\n\"You know what I mean.\"\n\nMaggie blew out a breath, calmer if no more certain of what was going on. \"Noah must have all kinds of help in San Diego. Think he'll manage here on his own?\"\n\n\"He's a genius. He'll manage.\" With a welcome smile, Olivia added, \"Besides he'll have Buster.\"\n\n\"Maybe he can keep that mutt of yours from digging in the garden.\" Maggie wasn't one of Buster's big fans, but she noticed Olivia's smile fade and knew she was thinking about the long flight across the country. \"Liv, come on. You flew to England and back with Dylan not that long ago. That went fine. This will, too.\"\n\n\"I know it will but I still...\" Olivia didn't finish, just stared at her suitcase.\n\n\"I know. It's okay.\"\n\n\"Yeah.\" She looked up, smiled. \"Noah already thinks I'm hiding something. I don't want to end up drawing attention to Phoebe by suddenly bailing on the trip. Does she regret last night?\"\n\nMaggie thought a moment, then shook her head. \"No, I don't think she regrets it one little bit. She just doesn't want to get caught.\"\n\n\"If she knew it was Noah Kendrick\u2014\"\n\n\"I'm not telling her and neither are you, because you, my friend, are going to be in San Diego. Bring me back two stuffed giraffes from the zoo.\" She grinned at her longtime friend. \"Not life-size ones.\"\n\nThey chatted a few more minutes, deciding on a plan of action to deal with Phoebe's note, and when Maggie headed back downstairs, she noticed that Dylan had joined Noah on the terrace. They seemed relaxed. She left them to their drinks in the shade and went back to her van.\n\nShe rolled down the windows and listened to the water flowing over rocks in the brook across the road, the twitter of birds hidden in the trees. Was she focusing on Phoebe's situation with Noah as a distraction from thinking about Brandon, or did she have good reason to worry about her sister?\n\n\"Time will tell,\" she muttered, starting her van.\n\nShe felt only mildly guilty for not mentioning her encounter with Brandon last night. Olivia would want to know but she was just getting a handle on her anxiety over flying, and she didn't need more excuses to keep her from making this trip to San Diego.\n\nSo it was good, Maggie decided, that she'd kept quiet about that dance with her pirate of a husband.\n\nAfter all, what were friends for?\n\nShe sniffled, suddenly wanting nothing more than to go bike-riding with her sons, listen to their tales of their overnight with their maternal grandmother. When Maggie had checked in that morning, her mother had them picking tomatoes for fresh homemade sauce. Nothing like the prospect of spaghetti for supper to motivate them.\n\nAidan had found a spider. Tyler was looking for snakes.\n\nThey were having the time of their lives, all that saved Maggie from wishing she'd done anything last night besides dance with their father, as sexy and irresistible as ever.\nSeven\n\n\"Dog sitting, Noah?\" Dylan sat at the round terrace table with a glass of spiced iced tea, complete with an orange wedge and cinnamon stick. \"Are you sure about this?\"\n\nNoah, seated on a green-painted bench, ran a palm over the minty-looking plants with the purple flowers. He wondered if they had slugs. He noticed the bumblebees were back and withdrew his hand. \"It'll be easier on everyone if I stay,\" he said, although he wasn't precisely sure what he meant.\n\nObviously neither was Dylan, who gave Noah a skeptical look. \"Having you here on your own will be easier on everyone? How?\"\n\n\"I can tend to the gardens, as well as Buster.\"\n\n\"Have you ever done any gardening?\"\n\nIn fact, Noah had not. Even as a kid, he'd never done more than water the flowerpots on the deck of his parents' townhouse in suburban Los Angeles, under his mother's supervision.\n\nHe stood up with his own iced tea. Plain. No spiced tea for him. \"It'll be fine. Olivia will leave instructions. Remember, I recognized the chives on her note card when she wrote to you about your house. You thought they were clover. Anyway, you don't need me underfoot while you're showing her San Diego.\"\n\n\"I'm not buying it, Noah,\" Dylan said, shaking his head. \"You're not staying here because you've suddenly turned into Farmer Kendrick. It's that note Olivia gave you.\"\n\nSuddenly restless, Noah walked over to the table but didn't sit down. The afternoon had turned hazy and humid. Olivia and Dylan would be on their way to the airport soon. Noah wouldn't be going with them. He'd come close to changing his mind about staying. Then Olivia had handed him the note, telling him that he wasn't to ask where she got it.\n\n\"It was given to me in confidence,\" she'd said.\n\nMostly likely that meant her friend Maggie O'Dunn had given the note to her. But where had Maggie gotten it? Had she written it herself? Based on the contents, Noah doubted it. Maggie would simply have pulled him aside and told him what she'd overheard.\n\nThe mysteries of little Knights Bridge.\n\nThe note sealed his decision to stay on at least for a few days. He had no intention of pushing Olivia to break a confidence or telling her what he suspected. Nor would he involve Dylan, given that he was engaged to Olivia.\n\n\"I read the note, Noah,\" Dylan said.\n\nNoah sighed. \"When I was walking Buster up the road, testing whether he and I would get along for a few days?\"\n\n\"That's right. I figured you didn't want to hand the note to me outright but you wanted me to read it.\"\n\n\"Actually, I was just focused on keeping Buster from slobbering on me and didn't think about the note. I didn't want to involve you.\"\n\nDylan set his iced tea on the table. \"Noah, Olivia gave you that note. I am involved.\"\n\n\"That doesn't change anything,\" Noah said.\n\n\"The note was printed off a computer. Whoever wrote it didn't want you to see his or her handwriting.\"\n\n\"Could it have been Brandon Sloan?\"\n\n\"No,\" Dylan said without hesitation. \"He'd just have told you on the spot.\"\n\nNoah agreed. He sank onto a chair at the table, half wishing he were back in the White Mountains with nothing more pressing on his mind than survival. This was much more complicated. He looked over at his friend. \"You know it would take two seconds to find out what Olivia and Maggie have been up to,\" he said.\n\nDylan grimaced as he nodded. \"What makes you think Maggie's involved?\"\n\n\"She's always involved, isn't she?\"\n\n\"True. She and Olivia go back at least as far as you and I do.\" Dylan picked the cinnamon stick out of his tea and flicked it into the grass. \"I'm not going to spend a lot of energy guessing. The note says what it says. The person who overheard the man in question provided a thorough account and description. There's nothing more to add.\"\n\n\"What about my princess?\" Noah asked, his tone more serious than he'd intended.\n\n\"You mean is she a bystander? A potential victim? A potential accomplice?\"\n\n\"The note doesn't mention her, and yet this man described my presence at the ball in detail. If that had been you, don't you think you'd have mentioned my dance partner in the Queen Victoria dress?\"\n\n\"It was Edwardian,\" Olivia said, coming out from the kitchen. \"Titanic, Downton Abbey.\" She swallowed as if she might have gone too far. \"I noticed her dress. It was gorgeous.\" She added quickly, \"There were a lot of gorgeous dresses there last night.\"\n\nAs tempted as he was, Noah reminded himself that he wasn't going to grill his best friend's fianc\u00e9e about what she was holding back.\n\nDylan watched her walk past them into her gardens, mumbling about dealing with the basil before it went to seed. He glanced at Noah. \"Not a word.\"\n\n\"Nope. Not me.\" Noah put his feet up on another chair and settled back in the late-afternoon warmth. \"I don't know which I want more\u2014the identity of this stalker or of my princess. Wouldn't you have said that was a Victorian dress?\"\n\n\"I'd have said it was a dark blue dress.\"\n\n\"It was dark brown, Dylan.\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"I'm not big on colors.\"\n\n\"And you're engaged to a graphic designer who loves color?\"\n\n\"A case of opposites attracting, at least on that one. We have other things in common.\" His gaze was fixed on Olivia, kneeling in a sunny herb patch, checking what Noah assumed was basil. Finally Dylan added, \"Olivia and I are good together, Noah.\"\n\n\"No question about it. I'm happy for you.\"\n\n\"So, do you think she knows who your princess is?\"\n\nNoah debated answering, then said, \"Yes, I think she does.\"\n\nDylan sighed. \"I'm betting she does, too.\"\n\n\"A friend from Boston, maybe?\"\n\nHe shifted his gaze to Noah. \"I doubt it.\"\n\n\"Then a friend from Knights Bridge?\"\n\n\"It doesn't have to be a friend. She knows everyone in town.\"\n\nNoah looked up at the sky and contemplated the cloud formations. \"If my princess is from Knights Bridge, and Olivia and Maggie don't want to tell me\u2014\"\n\n\"Then you need to forget about her,\" Dylan said.\n\n\"Meaning they'll never give her up and they'll never forgive me if I find her and she doesn't want to be found.\" Noah dropped his feet onto the stone terrace and sat up straight. \"She wrote the note.\"\n\n\"Who? Olivia?\"\n\n\"My princess.\"\n\nDylan got to his feet. He looked pensive, tight.\n\n\"I'm not speculating, Dylan. I'm as certain about this as I was about starting my own company\u2014about knocking on your window when you were sleeping in your car. She wrote that note and got it to you because she thought you might know who her swashbuckler was and could get it to him.\"\n\n\"If that's the case, she took great pains to conceal her identity.\"\n\n\"Otherwise she would have just handed you the note herself, or Maggie and Olivia would have told you who she is.\"\n\n\"Maybe she doesn't want her swashbuckler to know who she is.\"\n\nNoah ignored the amusement in Dylan's voice. \"Olivia and Maggie know it was me dressed up like a musketeer last night. I don't think they've told her. Olivia said she was to give you the note because you might know the identity of the swashbuckler mentioned in the conversation. You invited a fair number of the guests, after all.\"\n\n\"She wasn't asked to get it specifically to Noah Kendrick. You, in other words.\"\n\n\"Right. No name.\"\n\nOlivia moved to another cluster of herbs. Noah didn't think she could hear the discussion between him and Dylan but suspected she had a fair idea of what was on their minds. He was rarely confident of his ability to read body language with any accuracy. He really didn't know what Olivia was thinking, or even his best friend of nearly thirty years. In contentious board meetings, dealing with the occasional backstabber, the ever-present sharks in the water, Dylan was better at getting at what was going on beneath the surface. Noah tended to focus on what he wanted. For the past four years, what he wanted had centered on business.\n\nNot right now. Right now, what he wanted was his princess.\n\nHe got to his feet and stood next to Dylan. \"My princess last night doesn't know it was me behind the mask.\"\n\n\"Do you think she'd be disappointed to find out she danced with the founder of NAK?\"\n\nDylan spoke as if disappointment was unimaginable. Noah remembered the persona he'd adopted last night. \"I'm no D'Artagnan,\" he said.\n\n\"You're as good with a sword as any musketeer.\"\n\n\"That's different. Anyway, if this woman has information on my mystery man, then it could help that I'm just...you know. Me.\"\n\n\"Your average, garden-variety California billionaire,\" Dylan said with some humor.\n\n\"All right, maybe it won't help.\"\n\nHis friend groaned suddenly. \"Are you confused at all? A mystery woman, a mystery stalker, small-town loyalties...\" He held up a hand before Noah could answer. \"Never mind. I know you're not confused.\"\n\n\"Do you have a short list of possibilities of who my Edwardian princess might be?\"\n\nDylan looked uncomfortable. \"Noah...\"\n\n\"Ah. A very short list. You don't have to tell me. I won't compromise you with your new friends here. I like a good challenge.\"\n\n\"Then you still plan to stay?\"\n\nNoah hadn't changed his mind. Not even close. \"It'll be fine. Nobody knows me in Knights Bridge except Maggie and her sister.\"\n\n\"But you're determined to find out who your princess is,\" Dylan said.\n\n\"As much as ever. I'll just keep it to myself when I do. Relax, Dylan. Think of me as taking a few days to enjoy the bucolic surroundings.\"\n\n\"You don't like bucolic surroundings.\"\n\n\"I do. I just don't like mosquitoes. I'll wear bug spray.\"\n\nDylan was still obviously skeptical. \"You're sure you're not just bored?\"\n\n\"I was bored. I'm not now.\"\n\nOlivia started up a path toward the terrace. Dylan kept his eyes on her as he continued, \"Are you avoiding San Diego? It's an adjustment, going from controlling everything to do with NAK to\u2014\"\n\n\"Controlling nothing?\" Noah gave a small smile. \"No one's going to feel sorry for me, Dylan, and I don't feel sorry for myself. You and I are both moving on. We made our choices about how we'd take NAK public. We still have a strong interest in the company, but we wanted fresh blood. The last thing the new people need is the founders skulking around.\"\n\n\"Founder,\" Dylan corrected. \"Singular.\"\n\nNoah didn't argue with him. They'd had this argument countless times in the past four years. \"We're both pivoting to what's next for us. I just didn't expect you to fall for someone from a little town on the other side of the country.\"\n\nOlivia joined them on the terrace and smiled at Noah as if she'd told him all she knew about the identity of his princess. \"I love it here but you'll be roughing it by your standards.\"\n\nNoah returned her smile. \"Like I just told Dylan. I'll wear bug spray.\"\n\n* * *\n\nOn his first evening alone in Knights Bridge, Noah listened to an owl in the woods behind the house and chased a mosquito out of the kitchen. He'd have killed it if he'd had the opportunity but it followed him outside when he walked Buster.\n\nHe had no problem killing mosquitoes.\n\nHis assistant in San Diego had arranged for a messenger to deliver a new phone to Carriage Hill. Noah scanned his messages. Loretta Wrentham had called seven times. When he called her back, she was annoyed with him for not responding sooner but she had no news.\n\nHe sat down at Olivia's white-painted kitchen table. \"If you don't know anything, why did you call me seven times?\"\n\n\"Because you didn't return my first two calls.\"\n\n\"That makes no sense, Loretta.\"\n\n\"It makes perfect sense to me. I hate being ignored.\"\n\n\"I wasn't ignoring you.\"\n\n\"What were you doing?\" she asked.\n\n\"I didn't have a phone.\"\n\nA half-beat's silence. \"You didn't have a phone? Really?\"\n\nHe heard the skepticism in her voice. \"Really,\" he said. \"I only got your voice mails just now.\"\n\n\"Don't you have an assistant who checks your messages?\"\n\n\"Not one who checks my private number.\"\n\n\"So are you and Dylan about to head back out here?\"\n\n\"Dylan is already en route,\" Noah said.\n\n\"Noah...\" Loretta took in an audible breath. \"Where are you?\"\n\n\"Knights Bridge. I'm staying at Olivia's place. I'm dog sitting.\"\n\nSilence on the other end of the connection.\n\n\"I almost wish it were cool enough tonight for a fire,\" Noah added. \"I like Olivia's fireplace. Fireplaces, actually. There are five or six. They all share one chimney. It's in the center of the house.\"\n\n\"Dear God.\"\n\nHe smiled into the phone. \"Have you ever been to New England, Loretta?\"\n\n\"Boston. Knights Bridge isn't Boston.\"\n\n\"Not even close.\" But he didn't mind that, he realized. At least for now. In another few days, it might make all the difference in the world. \"Dylan and Olivia will be arriving in San Diego soon. Don't let him get involved in this thing. He needs to show Olivia around town, take her to the zoo. Stuff like that.\"\n\n\"You're a romantic at heart,\" Loretta said.\n\nNoah laughed. \"Yeah, right.\"\n\n\"Are you sure it's wise to stay out there by yourself? You have a higher profile right now with NAK going public. You need to take your safety seriously. You've had corporate security training and you know fencing and karate, but if this guy's actually stalking you\u2014\"\n\n\"I'm not worried, Loretta. I don't want you to worry, either. Let's just identify this man and figure out what he wants.\"\n\n\"That high-IQ mind of yours is working the problem. I can feel it all the way out here on the other side of the continent.\"\n\n\"The problem has gotten a bit more complicated since we last talked.\"\n\nShe sighed. \"Of course it has. Tell me.\"\n\nNoah explained about his princess and the note Olivia had handed him. \"I'm positive my princess overheard our guy and wrote that note but I can't prove it.\"\n\n\"She doesn't know who you are and you don't know who she is,\" Loretta said.\n\n\"But Olivia and her friend Maggie know both\u2014who I am and who she is.\"\n\n\"I get it, I get it. You want to find this woman and your stalker, and you think staying in Knights Bridge will help. How, I don't know, but you're the genius. What are you doing tonight, since it's too warm for a fire?\"\n\n\"I'm listening to an owl right now.\"\n\nMuttering, Loretta disconnected.\n\nNoah got up from the table and stepped past a slumbering Buster onto the terrace, the early-evening air still and warm, fragrant with flowers and herbs. He looked out at the stone walls, fields and hills silhouetted against the darkening summer sky. He'd never been to this part of Massachusetts during his college days. On breaks, he'd gravitated to the beaches or gone home to Los Angeles. Not ever\u2014not once\u2014had he considered that Dylan might end up in a small New England town. He'd discovered that he had roots in the Swift River Valley\u2014a grandmother he'd never known, a woman now in her nineties who'd given up his father at birth.\n\nHence Duncan McCaffrey's purchase of the house up the road and Dylan's presence in Knights Bridge.\n\nAs much as Dylan appreciated the answers he'd discovered last spring, Noah knew they weren't why his friend was still here. Dylan was in Knights Bridge because of Olivia Frost. If she fell in love with San Diego and wanted to live there part-time, he would do that. He had the freedom to make whatever came next for him work for her, too.\n\nThe Farm at Carriage Hill was charming and sophisticated, and Olivia had every reason to be proud of what she'd accomplished in such a short time. It wasn't a traditional bed-and-breakfast that took in the odd overnight guest, and there were no events scheduled during his stay. Maggie O'Dunn would stop by during the day but for the most part Noah would have the place to himself.\n\nWell, he and Buster would.\n\nOlivia had lined up several painting projects in case he got bored.\n\nShe had a sense of humor. Noah did a lot of things but he didn't paint.\n\nHe headed upstairs to choose a bedroom for his New England sojourn. Only one, a small bedroom overlooking the side yard, didn't involve antique lace.\n\nThat was the one he chose.\nEight\n\nPhoebe took the call from Maggie in her back garden. They'd planned to head over to Carriage Hill and deal with Olivia's basil\u2014make a nice Sunday afternoon of it\u2014but Maggie couldn't. \"Ava and Ruby got their wires crossed and neither one will be around today,\" Maggie said. \"Mom needs help with the goats, although, of course, she insists she doesn't. The boys and I will go over there and do what we can.\"\n\n\"Nineteen goats are too many for her,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"One goat is too many,\" Maggie added in exasperation, then sighed. \"I know she loves the goats. She's never asked for any of us to help take care of them, but you know she'd never manage without us.\"\n\nPhoebe didn't disagree. \"Getting into goat's milk soaps could make a difference.\"\n\n\"She says she's looking into selling a few of the goats. She knows she has to. We don't need nineteen, even if the soaps do well.\"\n\n\"Let me know if I can do anything to help,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"Oh, we'll manage. The boys are still young enough to think mucking out the stalls is fun. Enjoy your quiet afternoon. We'll make the pesto later this week.\"\n\n\"I have all the ingredients. I can head over to Olivia's and see how much I can get done on my own this afternoon.\"\n\nHer younger sister took in a sharp breath. \"Phoebe...\"\n\n\"It'll be okay, Maggie. I can follow a recipe. If I screw up the pesto, there'll be more basil.\"\n\n\"What about Buster?\"\n\n\"He and I get along just fine.\"\n\nMaggie started to say something else, but Phoebe assured her she'd manage the basil on her own and got off the phone, eager to be on her way on what was turning into a hot, humid afternoon. Perfect for making pesto, she thought as she went back inside.\n\nNot that she'd ever made pesto.\n\nGiven the heat, she pinned up her hair and changed into shorts, a sleeveless linen top and flip-flops.\n\nFifteen minutes later, she parked at Carriage Hill, grabbed her canvas bag of pesto-making ingredients and headed up the stone walk to the kitchen ell. Maggie would have been by early to see to Buster, and Phoebe expected to have to use the extra key Olivia kept hidden behind a gutter. Instead she found the main door to the kitchen open and Buster nosing the screen door.\n\n\"Hey, Buster, did Maggie forget to lock up?\" Phoebe pulled open the door and stepped past the big, rambunctious dog into the country kitchen. Buster went from nosing the screen to nosing her as she set the bag on the counter. \"Easy. You remember me. I'm Phoebe. Olivia's friend.\"\n\n\"I do remember you.\"\n\nPhoebe jumped, startled at the sound of a man's voice, coming from the adjoining living room.\n\nNoah Kendrick appeared in the doorway. \"Phoebe O'Dunn, the slug-hunter,\" he said with an enigmatic smile. \"Hello, Phoebe.\"\n\nShe subtly breathed out in relief. \"Noah\u2014hi. I didn't realize anyone was here. I thought Dylan and Olivia were on their way to San Diego.\"\n\n\"They are. I stayed behind.\"\n\n\"But you'll be joining them?\"\n\n\"Eventually,\" he said.\n\nHe wore a black T-shirt over dark jeans, and as he entered the kitchen Phoebe saw he was barefoot. He didn't make a sound, his movements smooth, controlled. She'd noticed that about him during their brief meeting yesterday. She could see him glued to a computer but at the same time she could see him\u2014what? Doing yoga, maybe. She did yoga herself, at least sort of, and always felt more physically in control, poised, after a session.\n\nBuster followed Noah to the white porcelain sink and plopped down at his feet.\n\n\"Buster seems to like you,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"I'm the man with the food. I think he misses Olivia. Maybe Dylan, too.\"\n\n\"You're taking care of Buster?\"\n\nHe leaned back against the sink. \"You seem surprised.\"\n\nNo kidding. \"I guess I am. Olivia didn't mention you'd be staying.\"\n\n\"It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.\"\n\nPhoebe wondered what had prompted it but shook off her questions. \"I'm here to make pesto.\" She pointed toward the mudroom and the back door out to the terrace and gardens. \"With the basil. For Olivia.\"\n\n\"Ah. Yes. Before it goes to seed.\"\n\n\"My sister Maggie was supposed to join me but she got called away.\"\n\n\"Anything I can do to help?\"\n\nHelp? Phoebe didn't know why she was so flustered, then realized she had every reason to be, with a house-sitting, dog-sitting Noah Kendrick a few yards from her. He had to be used to a different lifestyle than what he'd find in Knights Bridge. He also had to be used to having more to do\u2014or at least other things to do\u2014than what Carriage Hill offered.\n\nShe unloaded her canvas bag. \"I brought pine nuts, garlic, parmesan and olive oil. I think that's all I need.\" She didn't want him hanging around, watching her, bored, and quickly tried to think of something he could do. \"Olivia said she has a mortar and pestle. Do you think you could find them?\"\n\n\"A mortar and pestle,\" Noah said, his tone unreadable.\n\n\"They should be in a cupboard. You know what they are?\"\n\n\"Mmm.\"\n\nHe hadn't moved but she was intensely aware of his scrutiny as she set the bottle of virgin olive oil she'd brought on the counter. \"I've never actually made pesto but Maggie emailed me a recipe. I assume you've never...\" She stopped herself, rephrased. \"Have you ever made pesto?\"\n\nHe smiled that smile again. \"I haven't.\"\n\n\"It doesn't look hard.\"\n\nWhy was her heart beating so rapidly? Just because he was even richer than Dylan didn't mean she had to get crazy. But it wasn't just that. It was the way he looked at her, his air of self-control and calm. Those eyes. That smile. She hadn't noticed them yesterday the way she did now, perhaps because she'd been preoccupied with getting the transcript of the conversation she'd overheard to Dylan, so that he could get it to her swashbuckler. She'd planned to ask Maggie how that had gone when they were making pesto. She hadn't thought to ask her on the phone.\n\nPhoebe cleared her throat. \"How did your first night in Knights Bridge go?\"\n\n\"Quiet,\" Noah said. \"Just Buster, an owl and me.\"\n\nThe twitch of a smile, that spark of humor in his deep blue eyes\u2014Phoebe felt a rush of heat that she couldn't define or understand. She blamed Friday night. Sneaking past her sister and friends into the masquerade, dancing with a stranger and overhearing an alarming conversation from another stranger had kicked her adrenaline into high gear. Even venturing up to the hidden room in the library attic had taken a toll on her normally calm, sensible nature. If she hadn't found that room, she realized, she'd never have gone to the masquerade.\n\nShe turned to Noah with a pleasant smile, the sort that she often used when she was at a loss at the library. \"How long will you be here?\"\n\n\"I'm not sure. We'll see.\"\n\n\"I don't want to disturb you. I can pick the basil and then make the pesto back at my house.\" She gestured vaguely with one hand. \"I live in the village.\"\n\n\"You won't be disturbing me,\" he said. \"It's not as if I have a lot to do.\"\n\nA bored high-tech billionaire. Just what she needed. \"So you think pesto-making has possibilities?\"\n\nHe laughed. \"I wouldn't go that far, but I'm happy to help.\"\n\n\"Great,\" Phoebe said, half meaning it, half not. \"Why don't you look for that mortar and pestle while I start on the basil?\"\n\n\"Sounds good.\"\n\nHe seemed genuinely willing to help, but Phoebe wondered how long his interest would last before he got restless. If staying behind at Carriage Hill really was a spur-of-the-moment decision, then he wouldn't have any of his regular amusements and diversions with him. She supposed he could be working on a new business project. Something that required some quiet time to think.\n\nShe couldn't get out of the kitchen fast enough. She didn't even know why. Noah hadn't made any sarcastic remarks. He hadn't been condescending in any way toward her. He just put her on edge. She hated to think it had to do with his financial status. She wasn't the type to judge people by their net worth.\n\nNot that she'd met many billionaires, she thought as she made her way through Olivia's backyard to the garden shed. But it wasn't that. It wasn't money. It was...\n\n\"I just don't know,\" she said to herself, grabbing small clippers off a hook. Her swashbuckler Friday night and now Noah Kendrick Sunday afternoon. Maybe she was the one who was bored and restless.\n\nShe ducked out of the shed and up the path to the basil patch.\n\nNoah and Buster wandered out to the terrace. \"I found the mortar and pestle,\" Noah said.\n\n\"Excellent. We're in business.\"\n\nGiven past experience, Phoebe expected Buster to barrel to her and tear into the basil, but he stretched, yawned and lay down in a shady spot by the bench.\n\n\"Good dog,\" Noah said, obviously as surprised as Phoebe was. \"It must be Olivia's influence, or perhaps the heat. I haven't had him long enough to have an influence. How's the basil?\"\n\n\"It smells wonderful.\"\n\nHe stepped off the terrace into the grass. He was still barefoot. Phoebe noticed the muscles in his bare arms and, under his T-shirt, his shoulders. He was lean but clearly strong, far more fit than she'd have expected. His eyes settled on her and he smiled without saying a word, as if he knew she'd been appraising him.\n\nWith a flush that had nothing to do with the summer heat, she snipped a healthy hunk of basil and realized she hadn't brought anything to put it in. As she considered what she could use, Noah leaned over and took the basil from her. \"I'll get a colander,\" he said, then headed back to the terrace and into the kitchen.\n\nPhoebe took a breath, hoping to calm her racing heart. Maybe she should have rescheduled the pesto-making, after all.\n\nNoah returned with a colander. She laid more fresh-picked basil in it and thanked him. If he stayed this close to her, it was going to be a long afternoon. \"You don't have to do this,\" she said. \"If you want to take Buster for a walk in the woods, feel free.\"\n\n\"We already hiked up Carriage Hill this morning.\"\n\nCarriage Hill rose up beyond the open fields behind the house. \"I see.\" She snipped another basil plant and asked casually, \"How was hiking in the White Mountains?\"\n\n\"We went at hockey-player pace,\" he said with a wry smile.\n\n\"Is that faster or slower than your pace?\"\n\n\"Faster. Much faster. I prefer to savor each step up a mountain. I tend to be very deliberate about what I do.\" He reached down and brushed her bare shoulder with his fingertips, then smiled as he stood straight again. \"Bumblebee.\"\n\nPhoebe's mouth had gone dry at his touch. \"The bees like the catmint,\" she said, nodding to the frothy purple-flowered border. \"Olivia plans to move it to a less-trafficked area.\"\n\n\"Bumblebees have a natural preference for purple flowers, which tend to have more nectar than flowers of other colors.\"\n\n\"I didn't know that.\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"I read it in an article somewhere.\"\n\nAs smart as he was, she thought, he probably remembered everything he read. She tackled more basil, leaving enough for regrowth. Noah waited, then carried the overloaded colander to the terrace, Buster stirring enough to follow him inside.\n\nPhoebe returned the clippers to the shed. After sneaking into the charity ball on Friday and dealing with Maggie's suspicions yesterday, she'd wanted a quiet Sunday. Needed a quiet Sunday to get her bearings.\n\nAnd here she was, picking basil and making pesto with Noah Kendrick.\n\nWhen she returned to the kitchen, Buster was lapping water out of his bowl in the mudroom and Noah was sipping a glass of water at the table. The basil was in the sink. \"I rinsed it,\" he said. \"I didn't see any ants, spiders, worms or slugs. Just dirt.\"\n\n\"That's good. I'll do a second rinse. I always do with anything fresh out of the garden. It's not that I don't trust you.\"\n\nHe picked up his water glass. \"Of course not.\"\n\nAs she approached the sink, she noticed that one of the flyers Olivia had designed for the fashion show was on the table. It hadn't been there before. It announced the show and called for donations of pre-1975 vintage clothing in good condition.\n\nNoah tapped one finger on the flyer. \"I saw this on Olivia's bulletin board in the mudroom. A vintage fashion show at the local library. Your idea?\"\n\nPhoebe nodded. There'd been a change in him since he'd taken the colander inside. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, except that she was feeling caught, trapped\u2014as if he knew something that she didn't know.\n\nShe kept her tone even, professional, as she answered him. \"It came together fast and the response has been tremendous.\"\n\n\"And you're holding the show at the library?\"\n\n\"That's right. It has a stage. The founder, George Sanderson, insisted the design for the library include one. He envisioned lectures and concerts.\"\n\n\"Have you received many donations?\"\n\n\"Far more than I anticipated. It's been fun so far.\"\n\nNoah drank more of his water, then got to his feet in one smooth movement. \"Is that where Olivia and Maggie got their dresses for the other night?\" he asked as he walked over to the sink. \"Did they come in with a donation?\"\n\nPhoebe plunged one hand into the cold water. \"It's a bit more complicated than that, but the short answer is yes.\"\n\n\"And the masks?\"\n\n\"My youngest sisters made those. Ava and Ruby\u2014\"\n\n\"The theater majors.\"\n\n\"That's right.\" Phoebe tried to sound casual. \"So how did you enjoy the ball?\"\n\nHe leaned back against the sink and crossed his arms on his chest. \"It was quite a night.\"\n\nYes, it was, Phoebe thought. She hadn't noticed Noah in the ballroom, but she'd been too caught up in avoiding Olivia and Maggie and dancing with her swashbuckler to notice much else. Then there'd been Brandon, and the man she'd overheard. She hadn't even thought about Dylan's best friend, although she knew they'd been hiking in the White Mountains.\n\nNoah turned and got a stainless-steel grater out from a lower cupboard. \"I can grate the parmesan,\" he said.\n\nPhoebe had the feeling his mind wasn't on pesto but she smiled. \"That'd be good, thanks.\"\n\nShe laid the basil leaves on paper towels, watching him as he placed the grater and the hunk of parmesan on a wood cutting board. He glanced at her, and this time she paid close attention to the line of his jaw, the color and shape of his eyes. His smile was confident, knowing, but at the same time not at all easy to read, deliberately so, as if the man behind it guarded against letting anyone in.\n\nShe remembered her swashbuckler moving through the crowd to get to her, every movement precise, smooth, controlled.\n\nIt was all she could do not to gasp.\n\nIt's him.\n\nHer swashbuckler was Noah Kendrick.\n\nIf she'd been the one grating parmesan, she'd have cut herself. As it was, her hands shook. She tried to focus on blotting the basil dry but her mind was spinning. She'd danced with a billionaire. With Dylan McCaffrey's best friend. She'd let him kiss her.\n\nAnd he'd disappeared on her. Had he really meant to come back? Had he lost her? Had she left the ballroom too soon?\n\nDoes he know it was me?\n\nWhy hadn't she recognized him sooner? His voice, his eyes, his lean build\u2014so what if he'd shaved and wasn't wearing a mask and cape?\n\nShe hadn't expected that her swashbuckler would be Noah Kendrick. It was just that simple.\n\nShe blotted the basil, her heart hammering. Noah continued to grate the cheese for the pesto. It was all she could do not to think up an excuse and get out of there but she knew that would only draw more attention to her discomfort. He was a smart man. He'd figure out she'd asked him about the masquerade ball right before she unraveled.\n\nMaggie had to know it'd been Noah in the swashbuckler costume. Why hadn't she said so? Because I told her I didn't want to know. No doubt Maggie had assumed Noah would never recognize her sister as his princess.\n\nPhoebe didn't understand the intensity of her reaction. Why not just admit she recognized him? That it was her in the Edwardian dress?\n\nBecause it hadn't been her. Not really.\n\nShe should have just gone to the ball openly, with Maggie and Olivia. Then Noah would have known who she was. Probably he never would have danced with her\u2014or if he had, they wouldn't have gotten so carried away.\n\nShe glanced at him. He had a healthy mound of parmesan grated onto a cutting board. He gave no indication he thought of her as anything but the librarian friend of his best friend's fianc\u00e9e.\n\nOf course, that was what she was.\n\nPhoebe sighed and stood back from the sink. A slight breeze floated through the open window, calming her. Maggie would have given her note to Olivia, who would have given it to Dylan or even directly to Noah. That was why Noah had stayed behind in Knights Bridge. He wanted to figure out what the story was with this man in the coatroom. Dancing with a woman at a masquerade ball was probably par for the course for him, fun while it lasted but not particularly memorable.\n\nLet us both pretend that night never happened.\n\nAs matter-of-factly as she could, Phoebe nodded to the clean, reasonably dry basil. \"If you can chop the basil, I'll roast the pine nuts and mince the garlic.\"\n\n\"Then they all get pounded into a paste with the mortar and pestle.\" Nothing in his smile suggested he knew that she could hardly get a decent breath. \"I'm guessing, because I've had pesto.\"\n\n\"We pound the basil and garlic first. Then add the nuts. Then the parmesan and olive oil.\"\n\n\"And what do we do with all this pesto?\"\n\n\"Freeze it in ice-cube trays. Olivia and Maggie will use it all winter. They might use it at Olivia's wedding in December.\" Phoebe managed a smile. \"It'll remind everyone of summer.\"\n\n\"I'm sure it will.\"\n\n\"Will you be back for the wedding?\"\n\n\"Yes, absolutely.\"\n\nPhoebe looked at the parmesan, basil, garlic and pine nuts and thought about the work ahead to turn them into pesto. How would she be able to stand it, knowing what she did? She gathered up the damp paper towels from the basil and tossed them in the trash. She tried to appear casual as she turned back to Noah. \"You know, if there's somewhere else you'd rather be\u2014\"\n\n\"There isn't. I'm exactly where I want to be.\" He opened a drawer and removed a knife. \"I'll chop. You mince and roast.\"\n\n* * *\n\nOnce the pesto was in the freezer, Noah saw there was no keeping Phoebe at Carriage Hill. She was out of there, tucking her empty canvas bag under one arm and all but racing out the door. Although he wasn't by nature a patient man, years of martial arts practice and running a successful company had taught him that sometimes the best course of action was just to bide his time.\n\nHe followed her to her car. The afternoon sunlight caught the streaks of gold in her dark strawberry hair as she yanked open her car door. She turned to him with a quick smile. \"Thank you for your help with the pesto. Enjoy your stay.\"\n\n\"Anytime.\"\n\nShe climbed behind the wheel, and he shut the door for her. With another quick smile, she had the car started and was on her way.\n\nShe'd recognized him as her swashbuckler, obviously, but she still believed\u2014or was telling herself she believed\u2014that he hadn't recognized her.\n\nWell, he had.\n\nIt was the fashion show flyer on the bulletin board that had finally done the trick. He'd started to suspect when he'd found her in the kitchen. The way she'd licked her lips, smiled, moved. The line of her jaw, the deep turquoise of her eyes, the sound of her voice. The shape of her hips, the curve of her breasts. They'd all come together when he saw the flyer, and he'd known.\n\nPhoebe O'Dunn was his princess.\n\nNoah walked back through the house and liberated Buster from the mudroom. They went out to the quiet terrace, but the big dog looked as restless as he was. \"If you run off,\" Noah told him, \"I'll find you and I won't be happy about it. So spare both of us and stay put.\"\n\nBuster sat, panting, his dark eyes focused on Noah as if he'd gone crazy.\n\nNoah laughed. \"I just might have, my friend.\"\n\nThe pesto was in the freezer and the kitchen cleaned up, but even out on the terrace, he could smell the mix of basil, garlic, roasted pine nuts and pure virgin olive oil.\n\nVirgin olive oil. A Freudian slip, there. Dancing with his princess, he'd imagined her a virgin, as bold and as daring as she was when he'd swept her into his arms.\n\nWas Phoebe O'Dunn a virgin?\n\nNoah grimaced. Dylan would kill him dead for even letting such a question cross his mind. Dylan still had to tread carefully in Knights Bridge. Phoebe O'Dunn, her sister Maggie\u2014these were Olivia's people.\n\nTelling Phoebe that he knew she was his princess was out of the question until he'd had a chance to think. He could act quickly, decisively, but not when he didn't have a clue what in blazes to do. As he'd watched her pound the basil and garlic into a thick paste, he didn't know why he hadn't recognized her sooner. He hadn't been thrown off by her dark strawberry hair and freckles as much as the fact that she was from Knights Bridge and Olivia Frost's friend.\n\nThe note about his mystery man further complicated the situation.\n\nBuster stirred, and Noah noticed a thickset man hopping over the low stone wall from the field behind the house. \"Brandon Sloan,\" the man said, stepping over knee-high herbs onto a path. \"You must be Noah Kendrick. Dylan mentioned you'd be here for a few days. I'm working on his place up the road.\"\n\n\"You're one of the carpenters?\"\n\n\"Sloan & Sons. I'm one of the sons. There's a sister, too, but she showed up after the company was named. Sore subject.\" He polished off an energy bar and dusted his hands as he stepped onto the terrace. \"What do I smell?\"\n\n\"Pesto.\" Noah pointed to the patch of trimmed basil. \"Phoebe O'Dunn was here.\"\n\n\"Maggie, too?\"\n\n\"Not Maggie, no. You two are...\"\n\n\"Married.\" Brandon pulled out a chair at the table and sat down. \"I saw you the other night in Boston. You'd just come from hiking in the White Mountains. One of my favorite things to do.\"\n\n\"It was an experience,\" Noah said. \"You were at the masquerade ball?\"\n\nBrandon grimaced. \"I decided to go at the last minute. I'd told Dylan I'd rather have burning bamboo shoots shoved up my fingernails than go to a masquerade ball.\"\n\n\"What changed your mind?\"\n\n\"I found out Maggie was turning up\u2014I have my sources.\"\n\nThe other Sloans of Sloan & Sons, Noah suspected. He wondered if Brandon's presence at the ball explained why Maggie had been so upset. Noah decided his and Dylan's lives in San Diego, running NAK, were simple compared to the lives of the people he'd met so far in Knights Bridge.\n\n\"Is Maggie aware you're working on Dylan's place?\" Noah asked.\n\n\"Not yet, no. Olivia doesn't know, either. I asked Dylan to let me tell Maggie first.\" Brandon stretched out his thick legs. \"I'm camping up there. We start demolition on the house soon. I figure I can use the facilities here if need be. Olivia won't mind.\"\n\nHe seemed confident, even matter-of-fact, not at all presumptuous. He'd probably known Olivia\u2014and Maggie, his wife\u2014most if not all his life. Noah's one near-lifelong friend was Dylan.\n\n\"When did you arrive?\" he asked.\n\n\"This morning. I pitched my tent out of sight of the road. I'm glad Phoebe didn't see me. She's protective of her sisters. They stick together, those four.\" Brandon settled back in his chair, obviously not concerned about the O'Dunn sisters or anyone else. \"How do you like Carriage Hill?\"\n\n\"It's not as quiet as I thought it would be.\"\n\nBrandon grinned, then glanced around at the lawn and gardens, the fields, the hills in the distance. \"I want to get my two boys out here to help with the work on Dylan's place.\"\n\n\"How old are they?\"\n\n\"Five and six. Tyler's almost seven, though. Don't worry, I'm not talking about real work on the site. Just get them started on learning how to use a hammer and screwdriver. Maggie's got them baking tarts and peeling artichokes. I don't object, but they need this, too.\"\n\nNoah would guess that Brandon had learned to say he didn't object to his sons learning to bake tarts and peel artichokes. What he meant instead was that he was afraid his young sons were missing the influence of their rough-and-tumble father. Noah didn't have the particulars on Brandon Sloan's troubled relationship with his wife but could see that he loved his sons.\n\nBrandon stood abruptly, as if he wanted to escape wherever his thoughts had just taken him. \"Dylan offered me a ticket to this masquerade ball but I didn't take it. I wanted to pay my own way. I went as a pirate. Maggie made me faster than I thought she would. Maybe I should have gone as a banker instead.\" He paused, then added wryly, \"She'd never have recognized me as a banker.\"\n\nNoah made no comment but he thought that Brandon had a point.\n\nBrandon turned, his expression serious as he narrowed his dark eyes. \"Don't tell her that I'm camping out up at Dylan's. Leave that to me.\"\n\n\"No problem.\"\n\n\"I don't mind camping. I'm back on my feet financially but I want Maggie to take me as I am. With or without money.\"\n\n\"For better or worse,\" Noah said.\n\n\"That's right.\"\n\n\"Why are you sleeping in a tent?\"\n\n\"It beats staying with my folks or one of my siblings.\" Brandon gave a mock shudder. \"Trust me.\"\n\n\"Then you don't have your own place?\"\n\n\"I gave up my apartment in Boston the first of the month. I'm saving every dime I can. I was in and out of work for a while, but I've been working nonstop for the past six months. It's good. No complaints.\" He paused, looked at Noah. \"I won't drag this thing out. I just have to do this in my own time. Understood?\"\n\n\"Of course,\" Noah said. \"I'll respect your wishes.\"\n\nHe thought that Maggie O'Dunn Sloan\u2014or any woman in her position\u2014would appreciate knowing that her estranged husband was sleeping in a tent a few miles from her, but he wasn't one to offer advice on relationships.\n\n\"I can help out with anything you might run into here,\" Brandon said.\n\n\"I just made pesto with the town librarian. What could I run into?\"\n\nBrandon grinned. \"Snakes in the stone walls. 'Course, where you're from, you have poisonous snakes. A little old garter snake probably won't bother you, right?\"\n\n\"Probably not,\" Noah said.\n\n\"Bats?\"\n\nHe hadn't considered bats. He smiled. \"The hazards of country life.\"\n\nBrandon tilted his head back, eyeing Noah with an intensity that other people might find intimidating. \"You're not up to anything here, are you? Why didn't you go to San Diego with Dylan and Olivia?\"\n\n\"I'm dog sitting.\"\n\nAt first Brandon didn't respond. Then he laughed. \"Right. Dog sitting. Enjoy your pesto, or did Phoebe take it all back with her?\"\n\n\"It's in Olivia's freezer.\"\n\n\"I'd never had pesto until I met Maggie. I've known Phoebe since nursery school. We're the same age. She's a special person in Knights Bridge. She looks after all of us.\" He settled his gaze again on Noah. \"And we all look after her.\"\n\n\"Good to know,\" Noah said mildly.\n\nIt was as clear a warning between two men as one could get without Brandon Sloan coming right out and saying that he'd be watching and Noah had best behave himself with Phoebe O'Dunn.\n\nAnd why would Brandon think that Noah might not behave himself?\n\nBecause he knew that his sister-in-law had dressed up as an Edwardian princess the other night and had seen her dancing with her swashbuckler, who was now dog sitting in Knights Bridge.\n\nNoah assumed that Olivia and Maggie, who also had to know about Phoebe, didn't realize that Brandon was in on the secret, too.\n\nComplicated, complicated.\n\nBrandon headed off, back over the stone wall and through the field up to the house\u2014or what was left of it\u2014that Dylan had inherited from his father.\n\nNoah went inside. It was five o'clock in the afternoon. Now what was he supposed to do?\n\nHe'd take Buster for another walk, then see what Olivia had in terms of movies.\n\nAnd tomorrow?\n\nTomorrow was supposed to be another hot day.\n\nPerfect for a trip to the Knights Bridge Free Public Library.\nNine\n\nLoretta Wrentham parked in the driveway at Dylan's stucco house on Coronado. He'd left her three messages while she was sweating through a horrid exercise dance class. She'd finally texted him that she'd be right over, then showered, reapplied her makeup, put on slim jeans, a white shirt and red heels and, feeling energized if not any happier about exercise, headed across the San Diego\u2013Coronado Bay Bridge to the upscale island town where Dylan lived.\n\nHe'd told her that Coronado wasn't home for him like Knights Bridge was home for Olivia.\n\nLoretta believed him.\n\nHer cell phone trilled and she assumed it was Dylan again but saw Noah's name on her screen. This couldn't be good. Something clearly was up. She debated answering, but Noah was even worse about pestering her if he wanted a response. \"Isn't it the middle of the night on the East Coast?\" she asked him, knowing perfectly well what time it was in New England.\n\n\"It's midnight. I'm listening to my owl. I have all the windows in the house open. The stars are out. It's nice.\"\n\n\"I like stars. I heard an owl once on vacation in the mountains.\" Of course, she realized he hadn't called to talk about stars and owls. \"What can I do for you, Noah?\"\n\n\"Julius Hartley, Loretta. Who is he?\"\n\nShe was silent. Hartley. No wonder she had so many messages from Dylan and now Noah was on the phone with her.\n\n\"Loretta?\"\n\n\"He's your mystery man,\" she said.\n\n\"Is that a question or do you know?\"\n\n\"I know now that you've said his name. How did it pop up?\"\n\n\"Dylan checked the guest list at the masquerade ball. He couldn't resist. The name Julius Hartley stood out. He bought a ticket at the last minute, he came alone and he's from Los Angeles. He left his street address blank. Dylan doesn't know him.\"\n\nLoretta swore under her breath. \"I'll take care of this.\"\n\n\"Who is he, Loretta?\" Noah asked mildly.\n\nShe decided to tell him. \"Julius Hartley is a scumbag private investigator who won't return my calls.\"\n\n\"How do you know him?\"\n\n\"I don't. He showed up in my office a couple of weeks ago. I didn't think about him as a possibility for our mystery man until you told me you'd spotted your stalker in Boston. Something about your description this time finally clicked. I tried reaching Hartley. I only have his cell phone number and he didn't answer.\" She needed air and got out of her car. A cool evening breeze was blowing onshore off the Pacific. Damn. Had she screwed up this time? \"Where is Hartley now?\"\n\n\"I have no idea,\" Noah said, no hint of impatience or exasperation.\n\n\"All right. I'll see what I can do and call you when I know more.\"\n\n\"What did he want when he came to your office?\"\n\n\"He asked me about Duncan McCaffrey.\"\n\n\"Dylan's father? Why?\"\n\nLoretta had told Noah as well as Dylan about her brief affair with Duncan shortly before his death. At least she wouldn't have to rehash that indiscretion\u2014which was what it was, even if she didn't regret it.\n\nFinally she said, \"Hartley told me he was fascinated with treasure hunts and was curious about what would happen to Duncan's unfinished projects. Duncan's been gone for two years, so I figured it was a lame cover story for worming information out of me about Dylan, about you and your work together at NAK, what's next now that it's gone public.\"\n\nLoretta stood on the sidewalk in front of Dylan's house so that the breeze off the ocean caught her full in the face. She could see Julius Hartley in her office in La Jolla, a good-looking man around her own age, cocky, not really giving a damn that she didn't believe a word he was saying.\n\nShe should have pegged him as Noah's stalker from the get-go.\n\n\"I'll get to the bottom of this, Noah,\" she said.\n\n\"I know you will,\" he said, as calm as ever.\n\n\"He hasn't turned up in Knights Bridge, has he?\"\n\n\"Not that I know of.\"\n\nA stiff gust of wind brought with it the smell of saltwater. She could taste it as she tried to picture Noah alone in the out-of-the-way little New England town and found that she couldn't. Not that she'd ever been to Knights Bridge herself, but she'd never seen Noah outside of Southern California. Well, once at his winery on the Central Coast. He and Dylan had invited her up for a party celebrating NAK's fourth anniversary.\n\nOptimist that she was, when Dylan had told her he'd agreed to work with Noah, she'd figured NAK would go bust within months. But Dylan had been broke, going nowhere after ignoring one piece of good advice after another from her.\n\nA good thing she'd kept her mouth shut about NAK.\n\nDylan and Noah had done well in their work together, and Loretta had done well by Dylan and got to know and like Noah, even if she'd never understand him.\n\nWhat the hell did Julius Hartley want with him?\n\n\"Got anything more going on than listening to owls and watching the stars?\" she asked Noah, hoping she didn't sound as out of sorts as she felt.\n\n\"Olivia's dog keeps breaking out of the mudroom and getting up on the couch.\"\n\n\"The legendary Buster,\" Loretta said, then promised to keep Noah informed and disconnected.\n\nHer attempt at good humor didn't last. Dylan had come out onto his front porch and was waiting for her. She tossed her phone into her handbag and headed up the steps, the wind at her back now. Dylan had his eyes narrowed on her in that distinctly McCaffrey manner. She'd known him since his early days with the NHL. He was more aggressive than Noah. He'd pounce. With Noah, she thought, you could be bleeding on the floor before you knew he'd even come close to you.\n\n\"Does Julius Hartley work for you?\" Dylan asked.\n\n\"No. Never. He works up in L.A. He stopped by my office a couple of weeks ago.\"\n\n\"Why?\"\n\n\"I thought he was fishing for information on you and Noah. I kicked him out.\"\n\n\"As only you can,\" Dylan said.\n\nLoretta turned to look out at the darkening ocean and sky. The stars would be out here soon, too. She didn't know about owls.\n\nDylan stared at the Pacific, white caps visible as waves rolled onto the wide beach. \"I can't just step back from this, Loretta. Whatever Hartley is after involves Noah or me, or both of us.\"\n\n\"Could someone in Knights Bridge be a threat to Noah?\"\n\n\"Like who?\"\n\nLoretta waved a hand. \"I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud.\"\n\n\"Who was Hartley talking to on Friday?\"\n\nShe shook her head. \"No idea. No idea who his client is, either. I'll find out. You and Noah don't need to worry about this.\"\n\nDylan didn't look convinced but Loretta wasn't surprised. He'd had Noah's back for four years, allowing his friend to focus on his strengths in building NAK into a highly profitable company. It wouldn't be easy for him to give that up.\n\nA fair-haired woman Loretta took to be Olivia Frost, Dylan's fianc\u00e9e, stepped out of the house. Dylan introduced them, and any misgivings Loretta had about their sudden romance quickly disappeared. Olivia was smart and sophisticated, but also natural, and down-to-earth. She was perfect for Dylan. And Loretta saw that Dylan was perfect for Olivia, too.\n\n\"How do you like San Diego so far?\" Loretta asked.\n\nOlivia smiled. \"I absolutely love it. It's so different from Knights Bridge. That's where I've lived most of my life.\"\n\nOlivia's eyes lit up when she mentioned her hometown. Then Loretta saw it, too. What Dylan had been trying to tell her. That as much as Olivia might like other places, her town on the edge of the Quabbin Reservoir was home. That meant Dylan would make Knights Bridge his home.\n\nSo what were she and Noah supposed to do?\n\nMaybe that was why he was dog sitting, listening to owls and chasing a masked princess. In his own way, he was trying to figure out what he'd do with his best friend and business partner\u2014a man who was like a brother to him\u2014living on the other side of the continent.\n\nAnd if Noah and Dylan both ended up in Knights Bridge?\n\nLoretta didn't want to think about it.\n\nShe'd focus on tracking down Julius Hartley instead.\nTen\n\nPhoebe dressed for a hot August day but the library was cooler than she expected when she arrived early, well before eight o'clock. Mondays were generally quiet, and she was the only full-time employee. The part-time staff and volunteers wouldn't start arriving until after the library opened at nine-thirty but she appreciated the time to herself.\n\nWith a shiver, she grabbed an old sweater off one of the stacks of sorted vintage clothes on the stage. The sweater was several sizes too big and a dingy coral acrylic that didn't go at all with her sunflower-colored sundress but she wouldn't need it for long before the library warmed up.\n\nShe'd planned to shelve books and catch up on paperwork but instead went up onto the stage and sorted a box of clothes that had come in over the weekend. For the most part, donors had respected the specifications for the show and weren't just dropping off junk, although not everything could be used\u2014including the awful sweater she'd thrown on.\n\nThe front door creaked open at the stroke of nine-thirty. Phoebe looked up from her box, filled with a colorful collection of maxi skirts, fringed vests and headbands from the early 1970s. She expected to see her administrative assistant, but instead it was Noah Kendrick entering the library.\n\nPhoebe stood up, realized she still had on the old sweater. She wished she'd taken it off, then decided it was just as well. She hated the stereotype of the dowdy, introverted librarian and knew it didn't fit her or most professional librarians she knew, even if Noah was thinking exactly that right now. She was practical. She'd been cold and the sweater had been handy. She wasn't a princess.\n\nNot that Noah had recognized her as the woman he'd danced with.\n\nShe certainly had no intention of telling him.\n\nHe smiled, maintaining a stillness about him as he approached the stage. \"I half expected a ghost.\"\n\n\"Lots of people have said they've encountered ghosts in here, going back to when the library first opened in 1872.\"\n\n\"What a surprise,\" he said mildly.\n\nShe went to the edge of the stage. She expected to jump down to him on her own, but he caught her by the waist and lowered her to the hardwood floor with the same ease and sureness with which he'd swept her across the dance floor on Friday night.\n\nGlad for the dim light in the library, Phoebe pushed back strands of hair that had come out of its pins. Her oversize sweater had come off her shoulders. She let it drop to the floor and shoved it aside with one foot, then got control of herself.\n\n\"Good morning,\" she said politely, stepping back from Noah. \"What can I do for you?\"\n\nIt might have been her imagination, but she thought she saw a spark of pure male sexiness in his deep blue eyes, as if to say that she could do a hell of a lot for him. But he simply said, \"I was thinking I might borrow a book or two. Is that allowed?\"\n\n\"Sure. We'll figure it out. Wander around.\" Phoebe realized she wasn't cold anymore. \"Let me know if I can help you find anything.\"\n\nNoah peered up at the stage. \"The fashion show is shaping up well?\"\n\nShe nodded. \"Some of the clothes we've received are amazing. Others, not so much. The historical society is interested in checking out some of the unique items.\"\n\nHe shifted his gaze back to her. \"Are you involved in the historical society, too?\"\n\n\"Yes, as a matter of fact.\"\n\nShe didn't know why she felt defensive. There was nothing condescending in his tone or manner. His eyes were half closed, almost navy in the dim light by the stage. They lingered on her shoulders, then lifted to meet hers.\n\nHe knows.\n\nShe couldn't pinpoint what had tipped her off, but there was no question in her mind that Noah Kendrick had figured out that she was the woman in the Edwardian gown on Friday.\n\nHad he known yesterday?\n\nShe felt the heat of embarrassment but hoped he didn't notice her discomfort. \"The fashion show is turning out to be a lot of fun for everyone.\" Her throat was dry, tight, as she suddenly tingled with the memory of their brief kiss just two nights ago. They'd gotten carried away. No question about it. She added, \"Every donated garment has a story behind it.\"\n\n\"What's the story behind Maggie's and Olivia's dresses?\"\n\n\"And yours?\" Phoebe could almost hear him ask.\n\n\"They're copies from movies,\" she said. \"As I'm sure you know.\"\n\n\"To Catch a Thief and Breakfast at Tiffany's.\"\n\n\"That's right.\" She didn't explain further. She had no intention of telling him about the hidden room when she still hadn't told her sisters and Olivia\u2014anyone\u2014about it. \"Maggie and Olivia had a great time at the ball.\"\n\n\"So did I.\" His eyes held hers. \"More than I ever imagined.\"\n\nPhoebe reminded herself that she was a professional, experienced librarian, accustomed to dealing with tricky situations with the public. She would think of Noah as just that. A member of the public. She motioned toward the stacks. \"I'll let you get on with your browsing.\"\n\n\"Thanks.\" He walked over to the fireplace, then glanced back at her. \"Ever light a fire in here?\"\n\n\"Not in years.\"\n\n\"The library's centrally located. Do many people from out of town stop in to ask for information on residents?\"\n\n\"Some.\" She knew he was thinking about the note about the phone call she'd overheard. Did Noah realize she'd written the note? Was that why he was here? She pushed back her own questions and focused on what he'd asked her. \"We don't give out private information on anyone. That would include Olivia's guests, in case you're wondering.\"\n\n\"So you won't be spreading the word that I'm staying in town?\"\n\nPhoebe went behind the curved circulation desk and tried to act as if it was just another Monday morning. \"That's right.\"\n\nNoah glanced up at the oil portrait of an imposing George Sanderson. \"Has anyone been asking about Dylan or me?\"\n\n\"Not that I know of. Do you have anyone specific in mind?\"\n\nNoah moved back from the fireplace and scooped up the coral sweater she'd had on. He laid it on the stage. She had a feeling he knew it wasn't hers. \"What would you do if someone did ask about us?\" he asked.\n\n\"I might offer to take down a name, address and phone number and give them to Dylan, or to you if you're still in town.\" Phoebe shrugged, still containing her reaction to Noah's presence. \"Otherwise I stay out of personal business involving anyone in town.\"\n\n\"Smart. If someone does ask about either Dylan or me while I'm here, you'll let me know?\"\n\nShe nodded. \"Happy to.\"\n\n\"Thanks. I think I'll check out what you have on fencing. It's a hobby of mine. Classical fencing. In fact, Dylan couldn't resist having me dress up as a swashbuckler on Friday.\" Noah smiled. \"He has a sense of humor.\"\n\n\"So I've discovered.\"\n\nHe headed off to the stacks, but Phoebe knew he wasn't serious about checking out what the library had on fencing books or anything else. Once he was safely out of sight, she sat at her computer and let out a long, cathartic breath.\n\nVera Galeski, Phoebe's part-time assistant, arrived, cheerfully grumbling about the heat. In winter, she grumbled about the cold. She was a high-energy woman in her early sixties, devoted to books, married to a retired teacher, mother of four, grandmother of six and ever hopeful that Phoebe would find a man.\n\nVera nodded vaguely in the direction Noah had just gone. \"Who's that man dressed head-to-toe in black on a hot day like today?\"\n\n\"One of Dylan McCaffrey's friends,\" Phoebe said, hitting a few random keys on her keyboard to help herself look nonchalant.\n\nVera's pale blue eyes widened. \"Not Noah Kendrick,\" she whispered.\n\nPhoebe nodded, then added quickly, \"It's not something we're advertising.\"\n\n\"Of course not. I understand perfectly. Oh, my. I read an article in a magazine at the hairdresser's that mentioned him. It was about that actress...I can't think of her name. The one on that Sunday-night show that just got canceled. She played a lawyer.\"\n\n\"I should read more gossip magazines,\" Phoebe said with what she hoped was a credible laugh, then made an excuse to go upstairs.\n\nWithout so much as a glance in Noah's direction, she headed to the back stairs and ran all the way up to the attic without stopping. She switched on the dim overhead, then squeezed between the freestanding twin metal closets and entered the hidden sewing room. It was hot, airless. She opened the second door in the corner, letting in daylight from the small window overlooking the common. Children from a nearby daycare were sitting in a circle in the shade in front of the Civil War statue.\n\nNoah Kendrick's arrival notwithstanding, nothing in Knights Bridge had changed. This Monday was like last Monday.\n\nAnd next Monday?\n\nPhoebe pulled her gaze from the window and unzipped one of the garment bags. Inside were four dresses in various shades of red, as well as accessories carefully draped on hangers\u2014bright red scarves, sequined belts, gaudy costume jewelry.\n\nWho was the woman who'd sewn here, most likely in secret? Had she despaired that she was living in a small, out-of-the-way town? Had she wanted something that Knights Bridge just couldn't give her?\n\nPhoebe ran her fingertips over a scarlet crepe flapper dress. Would Noah have noticed her if she'd worn it the other night, or was there something about the Edwardian dress that had caught his eye, fired his imagination?\n\nShe glanced out the window again and saw him crossing South Main to the common. He didn't have any books with him. Had he returned to the circulation desk expecting to find her, or simply seized the moment to get out of there, leave her to her work? His princess, after all, had evaporated. She was a small-town librarian.\n\nAnd her swashbuckler?\n\nPhoebe watched him walk in the shade. He was one of the wealthiest people in the country, brilliant, successful, a master fencer, an expert in karate. As far as she could see, he was just missing the black cape, mask and sword at his side to be a real swashbuckler.\n\nHad her seamstress looked out at the window at a man crossing the common, yearned for him\u2014for a life other than the one she had, tucked up here with her fabrics and sewing notions?\n\nPhoebe's throat tightened at the thought of the carefully conjugated French verbs. A student doing homework, or a young woman dreaming of a different life?\n\nNoah disappeared from her view. Phoebe shut the corner door, the little children rolling in the grass now, playing some kind of game.\n\nWho was she kidding?\n\nThis Monday wasn't like last Monday. Last Monday, she hadn't met Noah Kendrick.\n\nShe left the hidden room, ran down the stairs and got back to work.\n\n* * *\n\nPhoebe left the library at four, as she did every Monday, and dropped off books at Rivendell, an assisted-living facility on a ridge just outside the village center. As she carried a box of fiction and nonfiction titles to the main entrance, she could see a peek of Quabbin in the distance, its pristine waters barely visible in the steamy haze. A number of the elderly residents remembered the Swift River Valley before it was flooded, and several were from the lost towns, including Grace Webster, Dylan's newly discovered grandmother.\n\nAfter leaving the books in the reading room, Phoebe went down a wide corridor to the sunroom, its tall windows overlooking the center's beautifully landscaped grounds. Grace was seated next to Audrey Frost, Olivia's grandmother, each with a set of binoculars. Grace, a retired teacher in her nineties, was an avid bird-watcher. Audrey, a former bookkeeper at the high school and a few years younger than Grace, was always up for a new hobby and was getting into the spirit of things.\n\n\"Phoebe, so good to see you, dear,\" Audrey said, lowering her binoculars. She had told Phoebe that she loved assisted living because she didn't have to cook every meal for herself, although she could if she wanted to, and she could still have her car. \"Did you bring us some good books? Your friend says he saw you at the library this morning.\"\n\nPhoebe frowned. \"My friend?\"\n\n\"Noah Kendrick,\" Grace said. \"You know him, don't you? He's Dylan's business associate and friend from San Diego.\"\n\n\"He was here?\"\n\n\"He still is here,\" Audrey said. \"He stepped outside for a minute to look at the view.\"\n\nPhoebe sank into a cushioned rocker and looked out at the array of bird feeders just outside the sunroom. They were empty now but would be kept filled over the winter. Bird-watching was a favorite activity for Rivendell residents.\n\nThe two older women eyed her. In addition to her work at the school, Audrey Frost had helped her late husband in his business specializing in custom reproduction millwork. Their son, Randy Frost, Olivia's father, now ran the mill with his wife. It was located behind a nineteenth-century sawmill the Frosts had converted into a residence.\n\nUntil recently, people in Knights Bridge would have said they knew all there was to know about Grace Webster's life. She'd moved to Knights Bridge as a teenager with her father and grandmother and became an English and Latin teacher. She'd lived out on Carriage Hill Road until two years ago, when she'd sold her house to Duncan McCaffrey and relocated to Rivendell. But Grace had her secrets. As a teenager, her family facing expulsion from their home ahead of the damming of the Swift River for Quabbin, she'd created a hideaway in a cabin on a small pond and met a British flyer on the run. They'd fallen in love, but he'd gone back to England, promising to return.\n\nWith a war on, starting her life over in a new town, Grace had discovered she was pregnant and realized her British flyer wasn't coming back to her. She gave birth to a baby boy in a Boston area hospital, put him up for adoption and went back home to Knights Bridge, only her grandmother and father ever aware of her secret.\n\nSeventy years later, Dylan's treasure-hunting father showed up in Knights Bridge and unearthed the story of his birth mother\u2014met her\u2014just before he died. Only he'd failed to tell his son, leaving Dylan to find out on his own. Even Grace hadn't realized that the handsome daredevil in his early seventies was the baby she'd never even held.\n\nPhoebe felt a rush of emotion, as she did whenever she thought of Grace's story. No one in town had ever guessed. People were still getting used to the idea that the starchy retired teacher was Dylan McCaffrey's grandmother.\n\nPhoebe realized that Audrey Frost was peering at her. \"What's on your mind, Phoebe?\" the older woman asked.\n\nShe collected her thoughts. \"I was wondering if you remember anyone from your days at the high school who was especially good at sewing, maybe took French and had an interest in Hollywood. She might have worked at the library, either as an employee or a volunteer.\"\n\nGrace frowned. \"What brought this up?\"\n\n\"I found some dresses that someone sewed and hid away. I'm not sure how long ago. Forty years, at least, I'd guess. I don't have enough information to talk about the details yet.\"\n\nBoth Grace and Audrey had no immediate memory of anyone who could fit Phoebe's vague description but promised to check their records.\n\nThe two elderly women smiled suddenly, pointing as Noah came into view out among the bird feeders. Audrey said, \"He's as good-looking in his own way as Dylan, don't you think?\"\n\nGrace concurred. \"You can tell he's a master fencer. He has the poise of a swordfighter.\" She glanced at Phoebe. \"He told us he helped you make pesto yesterday.\"\n\n\"We had to do something with Olivia's basil,\" she said, suppressing any reaction that might alert Grace or Audrey that something was up between her and Noah.\n\nHe entered the sunroom through a set of French doors and greeted the two Rivendell residents before turning to Phoebe. \"We do keep running into each other, don't we?\"\n\n\"It's a small town.\" She got to her feet, noticing that gray clouds were moving in from the west. \"I should get going. Grace, Audrey, good to see you.\"\n\nPhoebe quickly left the sunroom and got almost to her car when Noah caught up with her. \"Where's your car?\" she asked him.\n\n\"I don't have one. Olivia said I could borrow hers, but I walked into town and then out here.\"\n\nPhoebe stopped abruptly. \"You walked?\"\n\nHe smiled. \"It's something to do.\" He pointed up at the threatening sky. \"I didn't think about the fact that it rains more often here than in San Diego. Looks as if we're expecting a downpour.\"\n\n\"You don't worry about getting kidnapped walking around on your own? Not because Knights Bridge is a dangerous place, but given your\u2014\" She waved a hand. \"You know what I mean.\"\n\n\"I do, and I don't worry about kidnappers, no. I take reasonable precautions and I don't advertise my whereabouts. Besides, who would pay the ransom if I was the one snatched?\"\n\nHis tone was reassuring, not at all dismissive. Phoebe imagined he'd gotten over any surprise or disappointment he'd felt at discovering his Edwardian princess was one of Olivia's friends from Knights Bridge.\n\nFeeling more at ease, she opened her Subaru door. \"I can give you a ride back to Carriage Hill if you'd like. I'm done for the day. My assistant, Vera, will lock up the library.\"\n\n\"A ride would be great, thanks,\" he said.\n\nPhoebe got behind the wheel and waited as he came around to the passenger side. He settled next to her and snapped on his seat belt. She started the car, wondering if she'd flat-out lost her mind.\n\nShe tried to think of something innocuous to say. \"We're supposed to get scattered thunderstorms this evening. You don't have many thunderstorms in San Diego, do you?\"\n\n\"We don't.\"\n\n\"Have you heard from Dylan and Olivia? Do you know how she likes it out there?\"\n\n\"Dylan and I spoke last night. It was early evening in San Diego.\" Noah's tone was unreadable, as if deliberately so. \"He and Olivia had just come back from a walk on the beach.\"\n\n\"That sounds so romantic.\"\n\n\"Yes, it does,\" Noah said quietly.\n\nPhoebe felt his gaze on her and wished she hadn't mentioned romance. She drove out of the Rivendell parking lot, then turned toward the village. She heard a rumble of thunder in the distance. \"A front's moving through,\" she said. \"I won't mind saying goodbye to this heat and humidity.\"\n\nA fat raindrop splattered on her windshield, then another. Lightning flickered, followed immediately by a clap of thunder. By the time she pulled in front of Olivia's house, they were in the middle of a downpour.\n\nPhoebe looked at Noah next to her. \"You don't have an umbrella or raincoat. Anyway, you don't want to get struck by lightning. I don't mind waiting until the storm's passed. It'll probably be just a few minutes. Rain's one thing but lightning...\"\n\n\"Lightning can hurt,\" Noah finished for her, with a smile.\n\nShe switched off the engine and watched the rain stream down the windshield. It made the car feel even smaller. \"At least there's not much wind,\" she said. \"I'm glad you didn't walk back here in this weather.\"\n\n\"I'd have ended up playing Scrabble with Audrey and Grace until the storm passed. They'd have beaten me for sure. I've never had the patience for word games.\"\n\n\"For a lot of other things, though.\"\n\n\"Yes,\" he said.\n\nShe'd meant his patience for his work with NAK but something in his tone made her throat catch, made her think about his patience as a lover. She flashed on him bearing toward her at the masquerade. He'd moved with purpose and intention. Not patience. Patience, she thought, was something different.\n\nHe traced a raindrop as it slid down the other side of the passenger window. \"The rain's subsiding already,\" he said, then looked over at her. \"Thanks for the ride, Princess Phoebe.\"\n\nShe placed her hands on the steering wheel and stared straight out the windshield. \"How long have you known?\"\n\n\"Not long enough.\"\n\n\"Since yesterday?\"\n\n\"When I saw the flyer about the fashion show. I was suspicious before then, but not when we met here on Saturday.\" He paused, then added, with a hint of humor, \"The slugs threw me.\"\n\n\"I'm not fond of slugs,\" Phoebe said, then made herself breathe as she looked at him. \"I recognized you yesterday, too. I didn't want to say anything in case you didn't recognize me, or in case you just wanted to forget the masquerade. It's not as if it was that big a deal. We dressed up for a benefit. We danced.\" She pried her fingers from the steering wheel. \"I'm talking too much.\"\n\n\"You're fine,\" he said. \"Olivia and Maggie know?\"\n\n\"Yes. Well, I know Maggie does, and that means Olivia does.\"\n\n\"Anyone else?\"\n\n\"No.\" Phoebe remembered her brother-in-law and gave an inward groan. \"Wait. Brandon, Maggie's husband. He saw me and recognized me straight off.\"\n\nNoah smiled. \"I've only met him briefly but I can see that he would. Do you two get along well?\"\n\n\"We always have, but he knows Maggie's my sister.\"\n\n\"You're on her side.\"\n\n\"Always, but I hope there are no sides. He won't say anything about seeing me at the ball.\"\n\n\"Neither will I. I don't want to disrupt your life, Phoebe. I enjoyed our dance. I'm glad you were there that night.\"\n\nShe realized it was getting steamy in the car; the windows were fogging up. The worst of the brief downpour was over. She pushed open her door, welcoming the rush of air. She heard the water high in the stream across the road, tumbling toward the reservoir. Finally she said, \"We were both playing a part.\"\n\n\"What part were you playing?\"\n\n\"A bold, daring princess who'd let a swashbuckler sweep her off her feet.\"\n\n\"You played your part well, princess.\"\n\nShe jumped out of the car, gulping in a breath as she leaned against the hood, ignoring that it was wet. She was vaguely aware of Noah getting out, shutting his door, walking around the hood to her. This would all be easier, she thought, if he didn't play the role of a daring swashbuckler so well in real life.\n\nHe stood next to her but didn't lean against the car and get himself wet. \"Are you okay, Phoebe?\"\n\nShe nodded. \"I overheard that man talking about you.\" She could feel the cool rainwater soaking into the back of her sundress. \"I wrote the note Olivia gave you.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry you had to run into him. I'd spotted him. That's why I left you. I went to find him but I lost him. He must have slipped into the coatroom to make the call you overheard.\"\n\n\"You don't know who he is or what he wants?\"\n\nNoah hesitated, as if debating what to tell her. \"His name is Julius Hartley. He's a private investigator in Los Angeles. He does work for a prominent law firm there but that's not his only client. I saw him on my tail a few times in San Diego. I didn't expect him to show up in Boston.\"\n\n\"He wasn't in the mountains with you?\"\n\n\"No. Do you recognize his name?\"\n\nShe shook her head. \"It's new to me.\"\n\nShe was aware of Noah watching her as she stood straight, brushed her wet backside with one hand. \"Phoebe, tell me the rest. What wasn't in the note?\"\n\nShe didn't meet his eye. \"Hartley\u2014if that's who it was\u2014told whoever was on the other end that you were with, quote, some woman dressed up like she's about to board the Titanic, unquote. He said he didn't know who she was but would find out. That it shouldn't be hard.\"\n\nNoah was silent as she stepped into the middle of the quiet road and picked up a small stone. Everything was wet, dripping. Leaves, flowers, weeds, The Farm at Carriage Hill sign with its hand-painted signature clump of chives.\n\n\"It wasn't unnerving.\" Phoebe tossed the stone into the stream. \"I'm not worried or afraid Hartley will find me. He didn't see me, and he has no reason to think I was with Olivia or Maggie, or even that I'm from Knights Bridge. Only Brandon saw me and he was sneaking around himself.\"\n\nNoah stood with her on the edge of the road, in front of the stream. He brushed off a mosquito that had found him, then picked up another stone and pelted it into the water, the energy of his throw all that suggested he wasn't calm, wasn't unmoved by the prospect of an L.A. private investigator coming to find her. As he turned to her, Phoebe noticed the tension in the muscles in his forearms.\n\n\"I left right after I overheard the conversation,\" she said. \"I thought it could be a marital situation. I didn't know... I knew he was talking about the swashbuckler I'd danced with but I didn't know the swashbuckler was you. I was avoiding Dylan and Olivia. Maggie, too. Otherwise you and I might have met as\u2014\" As what? Phoebe smiled. \"As ourselves.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry about this, Phoebe.\"\n\n\"It's not your fault. If I remember anything else, I'll let you know, but I'm sure I've told you everything.\"\n\nHe came closer to her. \"If you see Hartley or hear from him\u2014\"\n\n\"I'll tell you right away.\"\n\n\"Call me. You have Olivia's landline, and I'll give you my private cell phone number.\" He gave a small smile. \"I had a new phone delivered. I was angry at myself for having lost you and threw my last one in the sink on Saturday morning. I tend to go through phones.\"\n\n\"You can only take so much intrusion.\" When he seemed surprised at her observation, she added, \"There's a core stillness about you, and you concentrate deeply, even if you have a number of thought threads going on at once. My nephew Tyler is a bit like that. Not Aidan.\" She paused. \"Of course, I don't know you well. I just observe a lot of people in my work.\"\n\n\"I imagine you do,\" he said. \"I want your number, too, Phoebe.\"\n\nShe saw the relentless entrepreneur in him. The drive. The self-possession. The focus on the next step he had to take\u2014on action. \"I understand. Noah, if this man is a threat to you\u2014\" She broke off, took a moment to collect her thoughts. \"A man in your position must have enemies. If Hartley thinks someone in Knights Bridge is involved in whatever bone he has to pick with you, that could be a problem.\"\n\nNoah winked at her. \"You have backbone, Princess Phoebe.\" He touched the wet bark of a tree. \"This is almost the same color as your dress the other night. It was a richer brown.\"\n\n\"Beautiful, wasn't it?\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\n\"I wish\u2014\"\n\nWhen she broke off, he fastened his blue eyes on her, his intensity almost palpable. \"You wish what?\"\n\n\"Nothing. I don't even know what I was going to say.\" Which was true, and not like her. \"Thank you for dancing with me. It was fun.\"\n\nNoah started to say something but she pulled away from him when she saw her brother-in-law ambling down the road. Thunder rumbled in the distance, to the east, but rays of late-afternoon sun were shining now on puddles and dripping leaves.\n\n\"Hey, Phoebe,\" Brandon said. \"Here for more basil?\"\n\nShe shook her head. \"I gave Noah a ride back from Rivendell. What are you doing here?\"\n\n\"I'm working up the road,\" he said, a tightness to his expression.\n\n\"At Dylan's place?\"\n\nHe hesitated, then nodded. \"That's right.\"\n\nPhoebe tried to contain her surprise. \"Does Maggie know? Where are you staying? Are you working for your family?\" The questions tumbled out, and she was aware once more of Noah watching her, tuning in to the dynamics between her and her sister's husband. \"Never mind. It's none of my business.\"\n\n\"I need to talk to Maggie first,\" Brandon said. \"She doesn't know I'm in town. I don't want to be a distraction. She's got a lot on her plate.\"\n\n\"You could be a help,\" Phoebe blurted.\n\n\"Maybe I could be, but it's not all up to me, is it? Maggie has a say.\" He turned to Noah with a wry smile. \"That was Phoebe's stern librarian voice you just heard. Can you imagine turning in a book late to her? I once had gum stuck in a book I returned. It wasn't my gum but that's another story. Phoebe was already volunteering at the library then. What were we, thirteen?\"\n\n\"About that.\" Still reeling from her conversation with Noah, she pointed a finger at her brother-in-law. \"You're putting me in a difficult position, Brandon. I'm not going to get caught between you and Maggie, but I can't not tell her that you're in town.\"\n\nBrandon was unperturbed. \"You don't have to tell her. I will in about five minutes. She's on her way over with the boys.\" He kept his gaze on Phoebe, the slightest hint of humor in his dark eyes. \"I have spies everywhere.\"\n\n\"Your brothers, you mean.\"\n\nHe shrugged, as if she'd stated the obvious, then glanced at Noah. \"Was I interrupting anything?\"\n\n\"Nothing,\" Phoebe said, answering for Noah. She crossed the road back to her car. \"I'll be on my way. Tell Maggie I said hi.\"\n\nNeither man stopped her as she climbed back behind the wheel of her old Subaru.\n\nAs soon as she arrived on Thistle Lane, the skies opened up again, but it was just a passing shower, no thunder and lightning. She parked in her driveway, then ran through the rain onto the porch. Soaked and shivering, she sat on a wicker chair, smelling roses and wet summer grass and thinking about Noah Kendrick's hand on her cheek.\nEleven\n\nMaggie fidgeted, grabbing a canvas bag of who-knew-what out of the back of her catering van just to give herself something to do, fussing at Aidan and Tyler when they jumped out of the back straight into a puddle. She didn't care one way or the other whether they got wet or muddied their shoes, and she wasn't at Carriage Hill to cook. She was just checking on the place.\n\nChecking on why she'd seen Phoebe driving in this direction with Noah Kendrick in the front seat of her car.\n\nMaggie shut the van door. She just needed to stay busy, give herself a chance to think.\n\nPhoebe, Noah.\n\nBrandon.\n\nIt was too much.\n\nBrandon scooped up his sons, one in each arm as if they weighed nothing. They got mud on his cargo pants but he didn't seem to notice as he set the boys on the grass in the front yard and turned to Noah. \"These are my sons, Tyler and Aidan Sloan. Guys, this is Noah Kendrick.\"\n\n\"Pleased to meet you,\" Noah said as the boys greeted him politely, then promptly went back to their puddle-stomping. He glanced at Brandon, then Maggie. \"I'll be out back.\"\n\nMaggie almost stopped him so that she wouldn't be alone with Brandon, but she kept quiet. She was being ridiculous. She'd known Brandon all her life. Even if he didn't want to live in Knights Bridge, his family was here. Now his sons were here. Whatever her relationship with him had become, he was still a part of her life.\n\nShe held her canvas bag against her hip, remembered that it contained different oils she and Olivia wanted to try out in their soap-making. Olive, almond, soy, coconut. \"Where's your truck?\" she asked Brandon.\n\n\"Up at Dylan's.\"\n\n\"I didn't see it there.\"\n\n\"It's out back.\"\n\n\"What did you do, park where I wouldn't see it?\"\n\n\"I didn't want you to run away or throw a brick through the windshield.\" When she glared at him, he held up a hand. \"It was a joke, Maggie. If you have things you need to do here, I can take the boys up to Dylan's and show them what's going on. Demolition starts this week.\"\n\n\"I'm not staying. I should get Aidan and Tyler home and into the tub.\"\n\n\"Why?\"\n\n\"Because they're dirty, Brandon.\"\n\n\"I mean why the rush?\"\n\n\"Schedules. Routine. Summer's winding down. School will be starting soon. Anyway, I don't have time to explain their day-to-day lives to you.\" She immediately regretted snapping at him. \"I'm sorry. I'll give them a few more minutes to get wet and muddy and then go.\"\n\nBrandon didn't fire back, as he would have six months ago. \"They can see Dylan's place another time.\"\n\n\"Another time? Aren't you going back to Boston?\"\n\n\"No. I'm working here, Maggie.\"\n\nShe was so shocked she gasped. \"With your family?\"\n\nHe nodded without hesitation, without any indication he was embarrassed, bitter, settling, anything.\n\n\"But why?\" she asked.\n\n\"It's a job.\" He spoke with a finality that shut down further questions.\n\nMaggie took a breath. \"Okay, then. Where are you staying? You're not commuting from Boston\u2014\"\n\n\"I pitched a tent at Dylan's.\" He gave her that devil-may-care Sloan smile. \"It's rent-free. I promised the boys I'd take them camping. I was thinking we'd just camp out here.\"\n\n\"They'd like that,\" Maggie said, her throat tight with emotion.\n\nHe started for the kitchen door. \"I'll head upstairs. I need to take a shower. Helps with the camping out.\"\n\n\"Helps with the smell, too.\"\n\nHe grinned at her. \"You never were one to beat around the bush.\"\n\n\"You're sweaty. It's not...\" Why had she brought up something as personal, as intimate, as that? \"Olivia and I made a spearmint-olive oil soap. I think there's some in the hall bathroom.\"\n\n\"No goat's milk?\"\n\nMaggie didn't know if he was making fun of her and Olivia's goat's milk soaps or if he was genuinely curious. She decided to give him a straight answer. \"It's the one soap we've tried so far that doesn't have goat's milk. Spearmint works for guys as well as women. You know. Instead of a lilac scent or something.\"\n\nHe scratched the side of his mouth and let his gaze linger on her. Maggie knew he was thinking about the two of them in the shower. She didn't know what had gotten into her, bringing up soaps. She wanted to blame him, because it'd be just like him to lead her down a dead-end road and let her figure out how to get out of there on her own.\n\nHe swaggered inside. He knew what she was thinking. He always knew. That was half their problem. She wished sometimes she wasn't so damn transparent.\n\nShe saw that the boys had settled into making mud pies and checking out worms. \"I'll be in the kitchen,\" she told them. \"I can see you from the window.\"\n\nIt was as much a warning to stay out of trouble as reassurance that she was near. They weren't toddlers anymore. She headed into the kitchen and set her bag on the island, then unloaded the oils. She might as well go ahead and leave them in Olivia's pantry.\n\nWhy was Brandon back working with his family?\n\nIt wouldn't last. He disliked construction on a good day. He did it to make a living. They'd married so young, had the boys so young. They'd both had to juggle dreams and practicalities. He was already restless, frayed at the edges, when his work slowed down in Boston last year and he got laid off. Brandon didn't do well being idle. No Sloan did. One day, Maggie came home to a note telling her he'd taken off on a canoe trip down the Moose River in Maine. He'd be back \"whenever.\"\n\nAnd that was that. She'd packed up herself and the boys and moved to Knights Bridge. She started her own catering business, and now she was working with Olivia, not just providing food for events but helping to shape The Farm at Carriage Hill.\n\nMaggie loved what she was doing, but her relationship with Brandon remained unresolved, in that no-man's-land between estrangement and divorce.\n\nIt wasn't as if there was another man in her life. It'd always been just the two of them.\n\nNoah came in from the mudroom, where Buster was sound asleep. In a combative mood, Maggie decided to confront him about Phoebe. \"My sister gave you a ride back here? Why?\"\n\n\"It was raining and I'd walked into town.\"\n\n\"Phoebe's...\" Maggie smacked a bottle of coconut oil onto the island with more force than was necessary. \"She loves books and history, and she knows everything that goes on in town. She's a good soul.\"\n\n\"She's a little quirky, too,\" Brandon said, entering the kitchen from the living room. He'd made fast work of his shower, the ends of his dark hair still damp.\n\nMaggie flashed him a look. \"Phoebe's reserved.\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"Compared to you and the twins, maybe. Ask the boys about her at story hour. She gets into it.\"\n\n\"I'm here every week for story hour. I have asked them.\" Maggie gritted her teeth, wishing she'd just gone straight home instead of coming out here, then smiled apologetically at Noah. \"I should go.\"\n\nNoah's interest clearly was piqued but he seemed to contain it. \"Was there a story hour when you all were Aidan and Tyler's age?\"\n\n\"There was,\" Maggie said. \"Brandon was disruptive.\"\n\nHe grinned at her. \"You remember.\"\n\nShe resisted comment.\n\n\"Phoebe and I know we danced with each other at the masquerade the other night,\" Noah said calmly.\n\nMaggie didn't bother hiding her relief. \"I'm glad that secret's out, at least among us. The whole town doesn't need to know.\" Then she remembered who she was talking to. \"The whole world in your case, I guess.\"\n\nShe wondered how Phoebe had taken discovering that Noah Kendrick was her swashbuckler but supposed her sister had more on her mind now. Maggie didn't want to get into the mystery man Phoebe had overheard. Let Noah explain to Brandon.\n\nSuddenly she just wanted to go home, walk over to Phoebe's house and talk about flowers and flea-market finds and never mind about men.\n\nBrandon eyed her but made no comment as he turned to Noah. \"Let's have a beer before I head back to my tent.\"\n\nNoah nodded. \"Sounds like a plan.\"\n\nMaggie gathered up the boys, who wanted to stay so they could see if the rain had brought out slugs, too. She told them they could check at home. She got them in the van with a promise they'd stop at Phoebe's house on the way back. They adored their aunt Phoebe.\n\nBut when Maggie pulled up in front of her sister's small house on Thistle Lane, no one was there. She drove past the library, noticed a light on in the attic. Phoebe was probably hunting for more clothes for the fashion show. Maggie almost stopped and joined her. She'd never been up to the library's attic. Given the stories of ghosts, she wasn't sure she ever wanted to, either.\n\n\"Oh, Phoebe,\" she whispered. \"Phoebe, Phoebe.\"\n\nHer sister, the romantic at heart. Her sister, whose heart was broken so long ago. For all her own heartbreak, Maggie would make the same stupid mistakes, fight the same useless battles and press the same empty arguments if that was what it took for her to have her sons. They were worth the agony of what she was going through with their father now.\n\nAnd she wouldn't give up the good years she'd had with him. Not for anything.\n\nShe looked up at the lighted attic. Was this life of her sister's worth what she'd endured? There'd been no full-on struggle when Phoebe's heart was broken.\n\nIt wasn't like Brandon and me.\n\nMaggie blinked back tears, remembering her sister's ashen face at twenty, their father not yet cold in his grave when her college boyfriend\u2014the man everyone expected her to marry\u2014had walked out on her. It hadn't been \"just like that.\" Nothing ever was. But it had been fast, permanent and devastating.\n\nBrandon and his brothers, ever Phoebe's champions, had wanted to chase down the weasel, but she'd stopped them. Maggie had looked him up on Facebook last year. He was a lawyer now, married and living in Orlando. She knew Phoebe would never look him up herself but hadn't told her that she had.\n\nKnowing Phoebe, she wished him well.\n\nMaggie didn't.\n\nHer ability to hold a grudge was something Brandon used to appreciate about her. He didn't anymore. \"Let it go, Maggie,\" he'd tell her. \"Just let it go.\"\n\n\"Mom,\" Aidan said from the back. \"When can we go camping with Daddy?\"\n\n\"He has a tent,\" Tyler said, sitting next to his brother.\n\nMaggie's idea of camping was a cabin with heat and indoor plumbing. \"We'll work out a date with your dad, okay?\"\n\nThey thought that'd be great and proceeded to regale her with all that they'd do with their father on their camping trip, even if it was just in Dylan McCaffrey's backyard.\n\nThat was Brandon, wasn't it? Always able to fire up their sons, fill them with can-do optimism. Even at his darkest moment, when he'd watched his dreams go up in smoke, when a temporary lay-off had dragged into flat-out unemployment, he hadn't taken his disappointments out on Tyler and Aidan. Maggie wasn't even sure if he'd taken them out on her, but she'd felt them, internalized them, let them make her bleed.\n\nShe hadn't wanted him to throw his dreams overboard and yet she'd known they were weighing them down, hurting their chances of creating a stable life for their sons. For themselves.\n\nNow here he was, in their hometown, working for Sloan & Sons.\n\n\"If I ever go back to Knights Bridge, Maggie, you'll know I've failed.\"\n\nHe'd been seventeen then.\n\nThings changed, she thought. People grew up.\n\nAnd yet, as she drove along the common and turned onto her own pretty little side street, she couldn't help but feel that Brandon had given up. That he did see himself as a failure...and maybe so did she.\n\n* * *\n\nAfter Maggie O'Dunn Sloan whirled out with her two sons, Noah got two beers out of the refrigerator, opened them and took them out to the terrace. He handed one to Brandon, who'd dried off a couple of chairs at Olivia's round table. He took a long drink. \"So, Noah. You may be good with a sword, but if I've misplaced my trust and you do anything to upset my wife or her sisters\u2014\"\n\n\"You'll key my car?\"\n\nBrandon grinned. \"Right. Key your car. You really are a trip. You don't even have a car here.\" He drank more of his beer. \"Why are you here? Really.\"\n\nNoah sat down. A cool breeze stirred. He swore he could smell pesto but assumed it was just rain-drenched basil. Finally he looked across the table at Brandon. \"A Los Angeles private investigator named Julius Hartley has been on my tail. I don't know why. I saw him several times in San Diego. Then I saw him in Boston.\"\n\n\"At the masquerade?\"\n\n\"That's right. I can't say for sure that he followed me east.\"\n\n\"But it's a safe bet,\" Brandon said.\n\nNoah didn't disagree. \"I stayed in Knights Bridge in part to make sure he's not hanging around here.\"\n\n\"Do you think he was hired by someone from here or from California?\"\n\nBrandon Sloan obviously had grasped the situation immediately. Noah drank some of his beer, appreciating the cooler, drier evening. How frank could he be with this man? \"It could be either one,\" he said finally.\n\n\"Explain.\"\n\nNoah told Brandon what he knew, but he left out his reaction to Phoebe\u2014and her reaction to him. The attraction they'd experienced at the ball hadn't been just a fleeting thing born of their anonymity and the roles they were playing.\n\nPhoebe O'Dunn, his princess.\n\nIf anything, he found her even more appealing with her wild red hair, in her element making pesto, working at the Knights Bridge Free Public Library, talking to Audrey Frost and Grace Webster at Rivendell.\n\nHer baggy sweater that morning at the library wasn't in the same league as her elegant Edwardian gown, but Noah didn't care. It'd been chilly in the library and Phoebe had obviously grabbed the sweater from the collection of vintage clothes for the upcoming fashion show. He appreciated her ease with herself and her surroundings.\n\nHe'd also noticed the swell of her breasts as the old sweater had slipped off her shoulders, but he blocked that image from his thoughts, in case Brandon Sloan could read minds and decide to throttle him.\n\nThese were treacherous waters he was navigating, Noah thought.\n\n\"Do you think Maggie and Phoebe have anything to do with this Hartley character?\" Brandon asked. \"Because if you do, you're wrong.\"\n\nNoah appreciated the other man's confidence. \"I understand your concern but I don't think anything. I'm trying not to speculate.\"\n\n\"You sound like my cop brother.\"\n\nNoah thought that was a compliment, or at least a neutral observation, but he couldn't be sure and therefore said nothing.\n\nBuster put his head on Brandon's lap. Brandon scratched behind the big dog's ears as he looked out at Olivia's garden. \"How much do you know about Phoebe?\"\n\n\"She's the director and sole full-time employee of the Knights Bridge library.\" Noah started to add that she could dance but reconsidered and said instead, \"She's the eldest of four sisters. Phoebe, Maggie, Ava and Ruby.\"\n\n\"Their mother is Elly. Elly O'Dunn. She's still around.\" Brandon patted Buster, then motioned for him to lie down on the terrace, which, miraculously, he did. \"Their father died when Phoebe was a junior in college. Maggie had just started her freshman year. The twins were still in school here in town. His death was sudden. An accident. He was trimming branches on a white pine and cut corners with safety. He fell and that was that. Broke his neck.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry to hear that,\" Noah said. \"It must have been a terrible shock.\"\n\n\"Patrick O'Dunn was a good guy but I don't think he ever figured he'd live a long life. He worked in forestry. He knew how to trim a tree. He made a mistake he shouldn't have made. I'm not saying he meant to die that day.\" Brandon drank more of his beer. \"It's all history now, anyway.\"\n\n\"Was Phoebe close to her father?\"\n\n\"They all were. He left Elly and the girls more or less penniless. Elly's managed to keep things together but I don't know that her daughters always see it that way, Phoebe especially. She likes to think of herself as the sensible O'Dunn.\"\n\n\"You've known them all a long time,\" Noah said.\n\nBrandon nodded thoughtfully, then grinned. \"As far back as I can remember, I've been arguing with one O'Dunn or another. Maggie and I have been together forever.\" He sighed, serious now. \"Were together forever, I guess I should say now.\"\n\n\"What happened between you? Do you mind if I ask?\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"I don't mind. You'll hear different stories around town. I was the dreamer she wanted but all my dreams went to hell. That's the short version.\" He held up his beer bottle. \"Now I'm having a beer with you instead of going home with my wife and sons.\"\n\n\"You're protective of all of them,\" Noah said, not certain Brandon Sloan would appreciate the observations of an outsider. \"Maggie, Phoebe, their twin sisters. Their mother.\"\n\n\"I guess I am. Just don't tell any one of them. I don't have anything against you or Dylan, Noah. In fact, so far, I like you both. Dylan's given my family work and therefore me work, and I'm happy to pitch a tent at his place. I hear talk about both of you\u2014you two are getting into venture capital, he's dabbling in adventure travel, finishing up some of his father's treasure hunts.\"\n\n\"Those things are true.\"\n\nBrandon shrugged. \"Some people thought his interest in Olivia would fizzle once he got used to the idea that his father had come here looking for his birth mother as well as a fortune in missing jewels. I can see that's not going to happen.\"\n\n\"He and Olivia love each other,\" Noah said simply.\n\n\"They do. I saw that for myself Friday night. You and Phoebe...\" Brandon grimaced as if he were questioning whether he should have begun his next thought that way. \"Phoebe's the sweetest person in Knights Bridge. She has a true heart of gold. Everyone here is protective of her.\"\n\n\"Point taken,\" Noah said. \"I gather there's no man in her life?\"\n\nBrandon looked straight at Noah and said, \"No. There's no man in her life.\"\n\nNoah wondered at the certainty in Brandon's tone. Also the finality. He wasn't saying anymore. Noah appreciated the history between the people in this little town, and he understood that he wasn't part of it.\n\nHe knew when he was the outsider.\n\nBrandon finished his beer and headed back to his tent.\n\nNoah hooked a leash on Buster and let the big dog lead the way down the road, in the opposite direction of Dylan's place\u2014Grace Webster's former home. He tried to picture the road before Quabbin, when it wound into a picturesque valley populated with small New England towns. Now Dana, Greenwich, Enfield and Prescott were gone.\n\nHe and Buster came to a yellow-painted gate that marked the border of the Quabbin watershed. The old road continued on the other side of the gate, eventually leading into the water's edge, as if the lost towns still were there.\n\n\"Sorry, Buster,\" Noah said. \"No dogs allowed. We have to turn around.\"\n\nThey walked back up the road to Carriage Hill. The dog pulled hard on the leash and Noah noticed a squirrel chattering at them from a pine branch. He could hear birds, but otherwise it was a cool, quiet summer evening, the daylight graying with the approach of dusk.\n\nBy the time he and Buster arrived in Olivia's kitchen, Noah was hungry. First, he'd feed Buster, then he'd heat up soup she'd frozen. He could always add some of Phoebe's pesto, or go pick a few herbs in the garden. He'd already learned that Knights Bridge had only one restaurant, so he better save that option. By the standards of the people who lived there, the town wasn't isolated\u2014they were used to driving to stores and restaurants in nearby towns.\n\nBy Noah's standards, it was the middle of nowhere.\n\nHe found a rag in the mudroom and wiped the dog's muddy paws. \"Well, Buster, my friend, there may not be a good Mexican restaurant within thirty miles, but we can consider ourselves lucky they take in strays around here.\"\n\nWhile his soup heated, he called Dylan but didn't reach him and hung up without leaving a voice mail.\n\nTwo minutes later, Dylan called back. \"You're bored,\" he said.\n\nNoah stirred his simmering soup with a wooden spoon. \"How could I be bored? There's always something to do here. If I'm not walking the dog, I'm giving him food and water, and if I'm not doing that, I'm dodging bees in the catmint.\"\n\n\"Catmint, Noah?\"\n\n\"It's the purple stuff by the terrace.\"\n\n\"I know what it is. Olivia told me. Who told you?\"\n\n\"Maybe I already knew.\"\n\n\"You didn't already know,\" Dylan said, confident.\n\nNoah wished he hadn't brought up catmint. \"How does Olivia like San Diego?\"\n\n\"Loves it. Who doesn't? We're out on my porch now looking at the ocean.\" Dylan paused. \"Anything new on Julius Hartley?\"\n\n\"Not on my end. I haven't talked to Loretta yet today. Why don't you forget about Hartley and enjoy the ocean breeze with Olivia?\"\n\n\"She got a good dose of what Loretta's like last night. We had martinis and talked about your stalker private investigator while we admired the sunset over the Pacific.\"\n\nNoah sighed. \"I miss the Pacific.\"\n\nDylan ignored him. \"Any sign of Hartley in Knights Bridge?\"\n\n\"No. I'm sorry you found out about him. Two years ago, we wouldn't have paid any attention. We'd have been too busy. Now you're busy and I'm...\" Noah frowned, noticing that Buster had wandered into the living room and jumped up on the couch. \"Does Olivia let Buster on the couch?\"\n\n\"No. Noah?\"\n\n\"I have to go. Buster and I need to straighten out who's boss.\"\n\n\"Good luck with that,\" Dylan muttered.\n\nNoah hung up and shooed Buster back onto his spot in front of the fireplace. The soup was bubbling on the kitchen stove. He found a pottery bowl and dumped in a healthy serving. The soup was orange and had a faint, pungent smell he couldn't identify. He checked the handwritten label on the freezer container.\n\nCarrot soup.\n\nNot much help. He knew carrots, but that wasn't what he smelled. He debated calling Dylan back to ask him. Or he could call Phoebe, eldest of the O'Dunn sisters. She'd probably know.\n\nInstead he brought his soup into the living room and sat with Buster in front of the cold fireplace. \"I'm a lonely man, Buster,\" he said with a laugh. \"A lonely, lonely man.\"\n\nAnd completely insane. All he had to do was dial his assistant, and he could have a car at The Farm at Carriage Hill in an hour and be on a flight somewhere\u2014anywhere\u2014before the sidewalks folded up in Knights Bridge.\n\nHe wondered if Brandon Sloan was managing to have a decent dinner up in his tent, but Brandon was a Knights Bridge native as well as a grown man. He could figure out what to eat for dinner.\n\nAnd Phoebe? What was she up to this quiet summer evening?\n\nWas she regretting that he hadn't kissed her when he'd had the chance during the storm, then again after the storm? Noah pictured her luminous turquoise eyes against the gray rain, and he could see her lick her lips. He squirmed as he felt pressure in his groin. Everyone in Knights Bridge could regard her as untouchable, but he didn't.\n\nAll he wanted to do was to touch her.\n\nTo make love to her.\n\nHe could see her wet skirt as she'd walked away from her car.\n\nHe took a long, slow, deep breath, held it, let it out again and tried his soup.\n\nGinger.\n\nThat was what he'd smelled. It was carrot-ginger soup, and it wasn't bad on a cool summer night on a dead-end road, with only a big, ugly dog for company.\nTwelve\n\nAfter a quiet, uneventful day at the library, Phoebe walked across the common to the Swift River Country Store and made her way back to the wine section. She was debating between two different brands of merlot when she heard a man talking up by the register. His voice sounded familiar but she couldn't quite place it. Abandoning the wine, she edged to the end of the aisle and peered past a display of homemade baked goods.\n\nThe man she'd overheard in Boston on Friday\u2014Julius Hartley, the private investigator tailing Noah\u2014was standing at the checkout counter, quizzing Greg Hughes, the teenage son of the owners.\n\nHartley had on a dark blue shirt, light khakis and light canvas shoes, as if he were about to step out onto a golf course.\n\nHe set a large coffee-to-go on the scarred wood counter. \"Sleepy Hollow here has one bed-and-breakfast,\" he said. \"I stopped by and guess what? The owners are in Montreal for the week. Doesn't New England have short summers? How can you run a bed-and-breakfast if you disappear for one whole week in August?\"\n\n\"It's kind of a hobby for them,\" Greg said from behind the register. He was an avid reader of science fiction and a recent high school graduate, on his way to Bowdoin College in Maine. \"They're professors at UMASS. They go to Montreal this time every year.\"\n\n\"Got it. I understand a new place has just opened up on some back road.\"\n\n\"Carriage Hill,\" Greg said, taking Hartley's money. \"It's not really a bed-and-breakfast. It caters to events. Weddings, showers. You know. Anyway, the owner's out of town right now, too.\"\n\n\"I see. Well, luckily I'm not staying. I just need directions to Elly O'Dunn's place. I understand she's selling some of her goats.\"\n\nPhoebe tensed. How did he know about her mother? What did he want with her?\n\n\"You're interested in buying goats?\" Greg asked, skeptical.\n\n\"Sure, why not? What's the O'Dunn farm like?\"\n\n\"Simple. A few acres, a couple of sheds, a house that has plumbing and electricity but not much else.\"\n\n\"A stove?\"\n\n\"Yeah, a stove. I guess.\"\n\n\"You guess?\"\n\n\"You haven't met Mrs. O'Dunn yet, have you?\"\n\n\"No, I have not,\" Hartley said. \"There are restaurants in town?\"\n\n\"One right now. Smith's. You can walk to it from here. There are more within easy driving distance. We have a good range of take-out food here at the store.\"\n\n\"Good to know,\" Hartley said without enthusiasm.\n\nHe left with his coffee, and Phoebe darted out of the store, giving Greg a quick wave. When she reached the sidewalk, Noah's mystery private investigator\/stalker had already crossed the street to the common and was making his way into the shade of a trio of sugar maples. He sat on a bench. He didn't look to be in a hurry.\n\nRemembering that he didn't know she'd overheard him or even had been in Boston, Phoebe took a breath and slowed down, crossing the street as she would if she had done what she'd planned to do\u2014buy a bottle of wine to go with a quiet dinner at home. No meetings, no family, no friends, no goings-on.\n\nNo Noah.\n\nShe'd dreamed about him. She didn't know what that meant but she'd awakened in a sweat and went out to the garden at dawn, calming herself by dead-heading her flowers. Noah Kendrick was off-limits. They'd gotten caught up in the drama of their night together, the thunderstorm, the moment of recognition that their identities were no longer secret.\n\nHis life was in San Diego. Hers was in Knights Bridge.\n\nHe was a billionaire with a fancy for Hollywood starlets, and she was a small-town librarian who loved her job and was devoted to her family. No Hollywood rakes for her. No men at all, lately.\n\nAnd Noah was Dylan McCaffrey's and now Olivia Frost's friend. Phoebe was, too, and she wasn't about to complicate their lives by getting involved with him.\n\nWhich was getting way ahead of herself but it'd been an intense dream.\n\nShe walked across the lawn, past the Civil War monument, her normal route back to the library, but instead of continuing to the opposite street, she paused in front of Julius Hartley. She couldn't let him drive out to her mother's place on the pretense of buying goats from her. That wasn't going to happen, Phoebe thought. It couldn't happen, and she wasn't waiting to get Noah out here to take care of it.\n\n\"Phoebe O'Dunn,\" Hartley said, looking up at her from the bench. He took a sip of his coffee. \"Town librarian and survivor of the Titanic. That was quite a dress the other night.\" He sat back and grinned at her. \"You can breathe, Phoebe. Your secret's safe with me.\"\n\nShe gave him what she hoped was a cool look. \"How did you know?\"\n\n\"I've been here in Sleepy Hollow for four hours. I know a lot about you and your little town.\" He pointed with his coffee. \"I even read the plaque on your Union soldier. It's my job to find out things. I'm good at it.\"\n\nPhoebe plucked a maple leaf off a low-hanging branch. He'd said he'd find out who she was, and he had. \"Your name's Julius Hartley. You're a private investigator from Los Angeles.\"\n\n\"So you've been busy, too. Who told you? Noah Kendrick? Dylan McCaffrey? Loretta Wrentham?\"\n\n\"It doesn't matter.\" She dropped the leaf into the grass. \"I want you to leave my mother alone.\"\n\n\"I can't go look at her goats?\"\n\n\"No, you can't.\"\n\nHartley got to his feet, casually, as if he didn't have a care in the world. \"You're tougher than you look, Phoebe O'Dunn.\" He drank more of his coffee. \"It's not apparent at first. You come across like a mild-mannered redhead in a pretty little sundress and sandals, but you're a pit bull when it comes to protecting your mother and your sisters. Who protects you?\"\n\n\"We all look after each other.\"\n\n\"What about Kendrick? Are you looking after him now, too?\"\n\n\"I'm not discussing Noah or anything else with you.\"\n\n\"Except for your mother's goats,\" Hartley said, clearly amused. \"Okay. I left my thumbscrews in California.\" He squinted toward the library, where two young children Phoebe recognized were running down the steps ahead of their very pregnant mother. \"I wonder what their favorite books are. I was a creepy little kid, I think. I liked Edgar Allan Poe.\"\n\n\"At four?\"\n\n\"I was a little older. Eight, maybe.\" He winked as he turned back to her. \"Consider that a telling clue, Phoebe. Are you going to tell Kendrick I'm in town?\"\n\n\"That assumes I'm in contact with him.\"\n\n\"Yes, it does.\"\n\nShe tilted her head back and eyed him. \"What are you doing in Knights Bridge, Mr. Hartley?\"\n\n\"Right now I'm drinking coffee and enjoying a pleasant summer afternoon.\"\n\n\"Are you here because of me\u2014because I danced with Noah?\"\n\n\"You two did steal the show the other night. Noah's friend Dylan is marrying a local girl. Olivia Frost. You know that, of course.\"\n\nPhoebe hadn't expected that response. Was he here because of Olivia? Because she was engaged to Dylan?\n\n\"Whoa. Easy there, Phoebe. No fainting.\"\n\n\"I'm not close to fainting.\" She straightened her spine. \"If I even think you're here to cause trouble, I'll notify the authorities.\"\n\nHartley laughed. \"Trouble? You have a good imagination, don't you? I guess being surrounded by books would fire up the creative juices.\" He paused, studied her again. \"You and Kendrick the other night. There was some kind of connection. Some sizzle between you two.\"\n\n\"We were in the land of make-believe.\" Phoebe immediately regretted her comment. She couldn't let this man get to her, couldn't engage him\u2014especially about Noah. \"I have to finish up at work. You'll leave my mother alone, right?\"\n\n\"Sure. No problem. Relax, Phoebe.\"\n\nShe didn't respond and ducked under the low maple branch.\n\n\"Does Kendrick know it was you the other night?\" Hartley called to her, his voice soft but no less cocky. \"A billionaire could solve all your problems.\"\n\nPhoebe spun around at him. \"I don't have any problems I can't solve on my own.\"\n\nHartley grinned at her. \"Sure you do. We all do. We all have dreams, too. I'll bet even you have dreams, Phoebe O'Dunn.\"\n\nEven you.\n\nHe crushed his coffee cup in one hand, kept his eyes on her. \"Noah Kendrick could make your dreams come true, don't you think? Then there's your sister the caterer, your twin sisters the theater majors and your eccentric mother. They all have big dreams. What about you, Phoebe? Do you have big dreams or little dreams?\"\n\nShe knew she should just walk away but didn't. \"There's no such thing as a little dream.\"\n\n\"Maybe so. A small-town New England librarian and a California billionaire. Dreams don't get bigger than that, do they?\"\n\nHe was overstepping, and Phoebe saw that he knew it. She met his gaze, drew on her experience with the public and her natural reserve to keep her emotions to herself. \"Why are you here, Mr. Hartley? Are you making sure we locals don't take advantage of Noah and Dylan? Are you looking for information on them for a client? For some blackmail scheme? Is that what this is about?\"\n\n\"How would you work your mother's Nigerian Dwarf goats into blackmail?\" Harley laughed, then waved a hand at her. \"Easy, Phoebe. I'm harmless. Go back to your musty books.\"\n\nShe didn't know if he was trying to be funny or deliberately insulting. She took a breath and watched him walk in the opposite direction across the common, back toward the country store. \"You still can't pretend you're interested in buying any of my mother's goats,\" she called to him.\n\nHe held up a hand without turning around, signaling acknowledgment of her statement more than acquiescence.\n\nShe headed back to the library, dialing the cell phone number Noah had given her. When he picked up on the second ring, she hardly waited for him to say hello. \"He's here,\" she said. \"Your guy. Julius Hartley. He's in Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"Where are you?\"\n\n\"At the library. We close early on Tuesday.\"\n\n\"Wait for me there.\"\n\n* * *\n\nPhoebe headed up to the attic and into the hidden room, hot and stuffy even with the cooler, drier air. It'd be another ten minutes before Noah would get there from Carriage Hill. She opened the corner door, light streaming in from the window, no sign of Julius Hartley on the common. Did his reasons for following Noah east have anything to do with Knights Bridge? With Olivia or Dylan, or their upcoming marriage? Phoebe couldn't even guess. Noah and Dylan lived in such a different world than the one she knew.\n\nWhatever he wanted, she hoped Hartley was on his way back to San Diego.\n\nShe certainly didn't need him skulking around town ahead of the fashion show.\n\nShe would have to decide soon about using any of the dresses created by her mystery seamstress, exposing this room to town scrutiny.\n\nShe heard footsteps on the worn attic floor and assumed it was Vera, who was staying late to sort a new box of donated clothing for the fashion show. She'd been happily pulling out silk scarves when Phoebe had ventured up to the attic. \"I'll be right out,\" she called, quickly shutting the corner door by the window. She hadn't told Vera yet about the hidden room.\n\n\"It's me, Phoebe. Noah.\"\n\nOh, damn.\n\nHe was just outside the door that the free-standing closets had concealed. She'd pulled them away and left the hidden door\u2014now not-so-hidden door\u2014partly open. He had to have noticed. Not that he realized she was hiding anything. Which she wasn't, not really. She was just taking her time before she revealed her discovery.\n\nShe was suddenly sweating, her heart racing, as if the mysteries of her unknown seamstress somehow revealed deep, dark secrets of her own\u2014as if Noah would be able to see through her defenses.\n\nExcept she didn't have any deep, dark secrets.\n\n\"Phoebe,\" he said, his voice very near now. \"Are you\u2014\"\n\n\"I'm right here.\" She opened the door wide, not surprised to find Noah standing there. She smiled, feeling ridiculously nervous, even self-conscious. \"You're not a ghost.\"\n\n\"No, I'm not a ghost.\"\n\n\"What did you do, drive a hundred miles an hour to get here this fast?\"\n\n\"I was almost to town when you called. The library's closed but your assistant let me in. Can I come in?\"\n\nShe nodded. \"Of course. It's hot in here. I was just about to leave.\"\n\nNoah stepped into the tiny room. Since she'd closed off the window by shutting the corner door, the room was almost dark. She switched on an old lamp she'd dragged in from another part of the attic. It didn't offer much light as he glanced at the shelves and baskets of fabric and sewing supplies, the trunks and garment bags, the dresses she'd pulled out and left draped on a chair.\n\n\"I didn't expect this in a library attic,\" he said. \"The dresses you and Olivia and your sister wore to the masquerade came from here?\"\n\n\"This room's something of a mystery,\" Phoebe said, keeping her tone neutral. \"I didn't realize it existed until a few weeks ago. I haven't told anyone else about it. I stumbled on it when I was chasing marbles.\"\n\n\"Something for a librarian to do. Chase marbles.\"\n\nHis tone held a hint of humor, but she could see his focus and suspected he was trying to keep himself from pushing too hard, jumping on her for immediate answers about her encounter with Julius Hartley.\n\nShe ran a finger along the edge of the old sewing table. \"It's as if whoever created this room just stepped out, but I'm guessing it's been decades. I want to know who she was. Is, maybe. Someone in town, someone who left town?\"\n\n\"Any clues?\"\n\n\"Not many. She studied French and was clearly fascinated with Hollywood, and she could do anything with a needle and thread. She must have made her own patterns for most of these dresses.\"\n\n\"You found your Edwardian gown here?\"\n\nPhoebe stood back from the table. \"It's one of the first ones I came across. I had it and the dresses Olivia and Maggie wore cleaned\u2014\"\n\n\"But you didn't tell them about this room.\"\n\n\"Right. I will, though.\" She waved a hand. \"You're not here about an old sewing room, and it's not why I called you.\"\n\n\"You said Julius Hartley is here in town.\"\n\n\"I saw him at the country store. He took a coffee out to the common and I talked to him there.\"\n\nNoah steadied his gaze on her, his eyes a deep navy in the dim light. \"What did you two talk about?\"\n\nHis stillness, his control struck her as incredibly sexy, but she kept her reaction to herself and repeated her conversation with Hartley. She left out only his comments about dreams.\n\nWhen she finished, she picked up a sequined dress she'd draped on a rickety metal chair. \"You're sure you don't know Hartley or anything about why he's following you?\" she asked, folding the dress, a design of peach silk crepe, sequins and fringe.\n\n\"I'm sure,\" Noah said.\n\nHe'd remember, Phoebe thought. That was how his mind worked. \"What could he want with my mother? He's not interested in buying goats. I don't want that man in her life at all.\"\n\n\"I'll make sure he stays away from her. Where does she live?\"\n\nPhoebe shook her head. \"I appreciate the offer, Noah, but I'll see to my mother. She's off work now. She'll be at home. I think she was planning to can tomatoes tonight.\"\n\n\"Hartley's my problem, Phoebe.\"\n\n\"And my mother's mine,\" Phoebe said with a smile, then set the folded dress on the sewing table.\n\n\"Any idea how Hartley knew she keeps goats?\"\n\n\"Not specifically, no, but it's not a secret. If he asked around town, someone would have told him.\"\n\n\"Olivia and your sister Maggie are getting into goat's milk soaps. That might explain his interest in your mother.\" Noah touched the fringe on the folded dress. \"The workmanship is impressive.\"\n\n\"It is, isn't it? It's so precise. Whoever worked up here paid attention to every detail. Maybe it wasn't right to wear the dresses to the masquerade. I'd assumed we'd use some of the more fun and interesting outfits in here for the fashion show.\"\n\n\"That makes sense.\"\n\n\"When I came up here just now...\" Phoebe glanced around the small room. \"It felt as if I was intruding into someone's private life. Someone's hidden life.\"\n\nNoah turned from the sewing table. \"If no one was supposed to find this room, then why leave everything behind? Why create it in the first place?\"\n\n\"I should get Olivia up here when she's back home. She collects vintage linens. Maybe she can help. And Ava and Ruby know more about Hollywood-related fashions than I do. I recognized the dresses Maggie and Olivia wore, but who wouldn't?\"\n\n\"They're in good condition.\"\n\n\"They were stored properly. The fabrics have faded and yellowed over the years, but almost everything's in remarkably decent shape.\" Phoebe noticed that Noah's eyes were half closed as he watched her, and she forced a small laugh. \"Did I lose you at 'vintage'?\"\n\n\"You haven't lost me at all.\"\n\nShe believed him. She took in a breath. \"Who knows, maybe this room's the work of our resident ghost. Some people believe the library really is haunted.\"\n\n\"By a handsome sea captain?\"\n\n\"You never know.\"\n\n\"I don't see you sneaking up here to talk to ghosts.\"\n\n\"Not even a sea captain?\" She angled him a smile, ignored the sudden rush of emotion, of pure awareness at being alone with him in such a confined space, in the heat, the stillness and quiet of the hot summer afternoon. \"A swashbuckler, maybe?\"\n\nHe touched a finger to a long strand of her curls and tucked them behind her ear, where there was no chance they'd stay put. \"I'm sorry Hartley showed up in your town, Phoebe. He got under your skin. I won't let him hurt you or your family.\"\n\n\"You're more intuitive than you like to let on, I think.\" She realized he hadn't pulled back, hadn't tucked her hair behind her ear just because it was driving him crazy. \"You like people to think you're just a math genius who got lucky, but there's more to your success than that. You're always in control, aren't you?\"\n\n\"Not always,\" he said, then let his finger drift down to her cheek as if to give added meaning to his words.\n\nPhoebe licked her lips, cleared her throat. \"I've read several books and magazine articles on entrepreneurial thinking. You're a natural entrepreneur. You're young\u2014I wouldn't be surprised if you end up as a serial entrepreneur who is energized by starting new businesses, and helping other people start new businesses.\" She suddenly felt the bodice of her sundress sticking to her breasts. What was she saying? Just stop. Be quiet. \"Anyway. That's neither here nor there.\"\n\nHe smiled. \"I like it that you're trying to figure me out. Most people just give up.\"\n\n\"You're a good listener,\" she said, realizing she wasn't embarrassed at rattling on about entrepreneurship. \"I could talk to you all night.\" She winced at her own words, embarrassed now. \"Sorry. That didn't come out right.\"\n\n\"You can talk to me anytime, Phoebe.\"\n\nShe was used to talking to people in her work and around town, but not like this\u2014not with romantic undertones, with sexual undertones, and not to a man like Noah. Not to the best friend of her friend's fianc\u00e9. Phoebe couldn't deny she was attracted to him. She couldn't even pretend she wasn't. She just knew it didn't mean anything, and she wouldn't do anything to make things awkward between him and Dylan.\n\n\"We should go,\" she said. \"Do you have any idea what Julius Hartley wants with you? I imagine you have your share of troublemakers in your life. Is he one of them?\"\n\n\"He could be. I don't know. I'll figure it out.\" Noah traced a fingertip across her jaw, into her hair. \"I should have guessed you have red hair.\"\n\n\"Because of my freckles? I used Ava and Ruby's pancake theatrical makeup to cover them, but dancing with you took its toll. You put me through my paces on that dance floor.\"\n\nHe threaded his fingers through her hair. \"Not because of your freckles. Because of the color of your eyes.\"\n\nPhoebe could hardly breathe. It was as if being in the hidden room had returned them to the fantasy of the masquerade, to the intensity of their attraction to each other\u2014as swashbuckler and Edwardian princess.\n\n\"Phoebe.\" His voice was just above a whisper. \"I'm sorry Hartley interrupted us on Friday. I'm sorry he's in your town now. That I brought him here. You all don't have to worry about me.\" He curved his palm over her bare shoulder as he gave her one of his enigmatic smiles. \"I can take care of myself.\"\n\n\"You don't have a real sword with you, do you?\"\n\nShe was kidding, but he was amused. \"Only at home in San Diego.\"\n\n\"My guess is you don't do much by half measures.\"\n\nHe smoothed his hand down her upper arm. \"Hold that thought.\"\n\nWhen Olivia had first told her about Noah, Phoebe hadn't considered that he'd be this sexy, irresistible to the point that she was tingling, even burning. \"I think meeting me as an Edwardian princess colored your ideas about me.\"\n\n\"Nope. Meeting you hunting slugs in your scarf and shorts did.\"\n\nShe gave a small laugh. \"Are you making fun of me and my hometown, Noah?\"\n\n\"Never.\"\n\n\"Personally, I think you're just bored.\"\n\n\"Anything but bored, Phoebe.\"\n\nHe slipped his arm around her waist. She didn't protest, didn't pull back. It was as if they were dancing again. Their musty surroundings and the hot, still attic and the Hollywood dresses, the reality of their circumstances, didn't matter. She could almost hear the laughter of Friday night, the clinking of glasses, the music. She leaned into him more than she had then, in front of hundreds of people. He was all taut, lean muscle. That would be a surprise to most people, no doubt.\n\n\"I'm glad we danced,\" she whispered. \"It made the night special. Memorable.\"\n\nHe said her name again, then his mouth found hers, his lips grazing hers in the lightest of kisses. Yet it had her reeling, aching. He was so controlled, so deliberate. He knew exactly what he was doing. She put a palm on his arm, felt the hard muscle. In every way, he wasn't a man to underestimate.\n\n\"Something happened between us when we danced,\" he said, kissing her again. \"It's not going away.\"\n\nShe nodded. \"I know.\"\n\nHe looked into her eyes with an intensity she'd never experienced. \"It'll be okay, Princess Phoebe. I promise.\"\n\n\"You're more of a real swashbuckler than I am a real princess.\"\n\n\"I don't think so.\" He stood straight, glanced around the small room. \"Maybe this room was meant for you to discover.\"\n\n\"A custodian could have dusted and vacuumed in here and not realized no one knew about it. Anyway, I need to get out to my mother's and make sure Hartley didn't stop in, after all. She'd probably talk him into buying a goat. It'd serve him right.\" Phoebe inhaled, realized she was about to hyperventilate. \"I live just down Thistle Lane. I'll run and get my car. Did you walk?\"\n\n\"I have Olivia's car. Come on. I'll drive you out to your mother's place.\"\nThirteen\n\nNoah figured he could be Errol Flynn and it wouldn't make a difference to Phoebe O'Dunn.\n\nHe could be a real-life Zorro.\n\nA real-life musketeer.\n\nHe could be worth a trillion and she wouldn't be intimidated.\n\nHe wondered if she knew that about herself.\n\nElly O'Dunn lived a few miles out of the village center, on a winding dirt road that, according to a sign, led to a state forest. Somehow Noah didn't need Phoebe to point out that the mailbox topped with bluebirds marked her mother's driveway. He turned into it, pulling up behind a dark brown house nestled among shade trees, stone walls, gardens and a large yard that needed mowing. As he got out of the car, he noticed a couple of small, rough-wood outbuildings, a fenced-off pen, open fields and surrounding woods, still and green in the afternoon summer sun.\n\n\"My mother's and my sister Ava's cars are here,\" Phoebe said. \"I don't see any other cars. Maybe Hartley changed his mind.\"\n\nNoah recognized sunflowers standing tall in the late-day sun. A lot of sunflowers, he thought as Phoebe joined him on a flagstone walk.\n\nShe squinted at the flower and vegetable gardens. \"It's quite a bit for Mom to take care of on her own but she loves it.\"\n\n\"Does she have help?\"\n\n\"Ava and Ruby have been here this summer, and now Maggie lives in town. We all do what we can to help.\"\n\nHe smiled. \"I hope you like sunflowers.\"\n\n\"And goats,\" Phoebe added with a laugh.\n\n\"Are the goats much work?\"\n\n\"A ton, at least by my standards. They have to be milked twice a day, for starters. Mom never cared about having them earn their keep, but the artisan goat's milk soaps Maggie and Olivia are trying out could at least help with expenses.\"\n\n\"Do you have any pets?\" Noah asked as he followed Phoebe toward the screened-in back porch.\n\nShe shook her head. \"Not a one. I get my pet fix here. Mom has two cats and the laziest dog on the planet, too. She's probably lying in the sun somewhere. My mother's dog, not my mother.\" Phoebe laughed again, visibly more relaxed. \"Do you have pets?\"\n\n\"No pets.\" He heard wind chimes tinkling on the porch in the slight breeze. \"It's a lovely spot, Phoebe.\"\n\n\"My parents built the house together. It's got its quirks but it's warm in winter and the roof doesn't leak.\"\n\nA young woman with purple-black hair emerged from the six-foot-tall sunflowers. She carried a basket on one arm and waved as she stepped over a low wood-and-chicken-wire fence. \"I swear I never want to see another tomato, but I say the same thing at this time every year.\" She smiled at Noah. \"You must be Noah Kendrick. Hi, I'm Ruby O'Dunn, Phoebe's sister.\"\n\nNoah returned her smile. Her natural hair color, he guessed, was a shade of red. She wore a tank top, a long black skirt and sandals, and her basket was filled with fat, ripe tomatoes. \"Nice to meet you, Ruby.\"\n\n\"My sister Ava's in the kitchen. We're canning tomatoes. Mom's convinced we'll finish tonight but not a chance.\" Ruby set her basket on a porch step and stood up straight, frowning at Phoebe. \"You look awfully serious. What's up?\"\n\n\"Did a man name Julius Hartley show up here?\"\n\n\"No. Why? Do you know him? Who is he?\"\n\n\"I ran into him in town,\" Phoebe said. \"We need to talk about him.\"\n\n\"Whenever you're ready.\" Ruby was obviously intrigued but scooped up her basket again. \"I'll be in the kitchen dealing with these babies. They're only the beginning.\" She grinned at Noah. \"A friend of mine from New York was up here earlier this summer and said we reminded her of the Weasleys in Harry Potter. Red hair and cozy madhouse.\"\n\nPhoebe laughed. \"If only we were wizards, too.\"\n\n\"No kidding. Then Ava and I could wave our magic wands and these tomatoes would be canned and in the cupboard in a flash. See you guys later. Noah, nice meeting you.\"\n\nAs Phoebe led him across the lawn, past the fenced-in gardens, he thought Ruby's New York friend might have a point. The O'Dunn place was ramshackle and homey, radiating a chaotic warmth and good cheer that he suspected was more accidental than intentional.\n\nThey came to a small barn with an attached pen, miniature goats prancing in the grass. \"They're Nigerian Dwarf goats,\" Phoebe said. \"Cute, aren't they?\"\n\nNoah had never considered goats cute. In fact, he'd never considered goats at all.\n\nA woman came out of the shed, shutting the door behind her. Elly O'Dunn, he assumed. She was younger than he'd expected, barely in her fifties, with wild graying light red hair and warm blue eyes. \"Phoebe! I didn't know you were here. I was just tidying up the stalls before we start tackling the tomatoes.\"\n\nPhoebe introduced Noah to her mother, whose bubbly energy was a sharp contrast to her eldest daughter's quieter nature. \"Mom, has a man named Julius Hartley been in touch with you?\"\n\nElly nodded, no hint of alarm or suspicion. \"He stopped by the town offices and asked if I was interested in selling any of the goats. You know it's something I've been thinking about, since we have about three or four too many. So I told him, and he said he'd be by after I got out of work. I haven't seen him. I don't think he was really serious about the goats.\"\n\n\"Did he say why he was in town?\" Noah asked.\n\n\"No, but I was under the impression he knows people here.\" Elly came through a gate, shutting and latching it behind her as three goats with shiny brown coats nudged the fence. \"Don't let the size of my little friends here fool you. They're very adept at getting out of confinement. They'll eat anything. Well, I'll be up in the garden if you need me.\"\n\nElly headed up toward the house. Phoebe glanced at Noah. \"My mother and her goats and tomatoes and such are a bit different from what you're used to, I'm sure,\" she said.\n\nHe smiled. \"They don't allow goats where I live.\"\n\n\"My mother got two goats to keep her company after Dad died. I was commuting to college and Ava and Ruby were still at home, but they had their own things going on.\"\n\n\"Were the goats her idea?\"\n\n\"Yes, but we all encouraged her to find something just for herself.\" Phoebe smiled wistfully. \"Dad would never have had goats. Chickens, maybe, but he didn't really like having farm animals.\"\n\nThey walked past an old stone wall that marked a field that Phoebe told him the goats had cleared last summer. The tall grass was dotted with wildflowers\u2014yellow, white, deep orange. Noah had no idea what they were but suspected the O'Dunns would, Phoebe especially. She was the sort who soaked up knowledge, loved to learn new things.\n\nShe seemed pensive and yet also comfortable at her childhood home. She squinted back at the shed. \"My father built the shed when he first moved out here. He lived in it for a few years, before he met my mother. He always planned to convert it into a barn. There's a natural spring just into the woods, and a stream that he loved. There's a lake in the state forest farther down the road.\"\n\n\"This area seems to have a lot of water,\" Noah said.\n\n\"It does. Ponds, lakes, streams, rivers. That's why the Swift River Valley was chosen for a reservoir. Quabbin is a Native American word that translates as 'place of many waters.'\"\n\n\"It's a beautiful spot to have grown up, Phoebe.\"\n\n\"My father was twelve years older than my mother. He worked in forestry jobs. He wanted to make money as a farmer but it never happened.\" She took a breath. \"We still miss him. We always will.\"\n\n\"Brandon told me what happened. He didn't go into detail. Phoebe\u2014\"\n\n\"I found him,\" Phoebe said abruptly. \"I had to tell my mother, my sisters. It was a difficult time but we got through it. My mother has a full life but she's never remarried. Some days I don't know how she manages this place, even with our help. She has a live-for-today mentality that sometimes makes tomorrow a little sketchy.\"\n\n\"You worry about her,\" Noah said.\n\n\"It's hard not to sometimes. I can't imagine why Hartley went to the trouble of driving out here. The goats are providing milk for Maggie and Olivia's soaps. Olivia's the fianc\u00e9e of your best friend.\" Phoebe slowed her pace. \"Could Hartley be interested in Dylan and not you? Worried we're taking advantage of him?\"\n\n\"No one takes advantage of Dylan.\"\n\nPhoebe stopped, the sunlight deepening the rich turquoise of her eyes as she studied him a moment. \"Do people take advantage of you?\" she asked finally.\n\nNoah shrugged. \"They didn't when Dylan was working down the hall.\"\n\n\"Are you worried they will now?\"\n\n\"I'm making the transition from having total control over NAK. It's good for the company and its future. Regardless, I've always been better at creating ideas than watching for snakes in the grass.\"\n\n\"Fencing helps?\"\n\n\"It helps me focus on the present.\"\n\n\"Otherwise you get stabbed,\" Phoebe said. \"It must be a great motivator.\"\n\nHe leaned in close to her. \"In classical fencing, we try to touch without being touched. Any touch with a sharp sword can be deadly. Sport fencing is different. It's based on a point system.\"\n\n\"You get points for touching.\"\n\nNoah saw her amusement and smiled. \"It's a bit more complicated than that, but sports fencing isn't the same as a real fight. It's an athletic competition. Classical fencing isn't a real fight, either, since we're not out to kill each other and take safety seriously, but it simulates a real fight.\"\n\n\"Are you good?\" Phoebe asked.\n\n\"I'm not competitive in that way. I enjoy fencing and karate because they work with my schedule and personality.\" He heard the caw of a crow out in the field and suddenly realized how quiet it was. \"And you, Phoebe? Do you participate in a competitive sport?\"\n\nShe shook her head. \"Never have. I like to walk and work in the garden. I took a yoga class once. I enjoyed it, but yoga's hardly competitive.\" A breeze blew strands of red hair into her face as she gave him a sideways glance. \"So if you don't want to continue to run NAK or end up as the loose-end founder hanging out in the halls, you have to figure out what to do with the rest of your life.\"\n\n\"I could learn to make goat's milk soap.\"\n\n\"Maybe that's why Julius Hartley is following you,\" Phoebe said quietly. \"Maybe the uncertainty about what's next for you and even Dylan is causing problems in San Diego.\"\n\n\"Maybe it is,\" Noah said, slowing as they reached the shade of a birch tree, its trunk a bright white against the lush green leaves and grass, the clear blue of the sky. \"You're perceptive. Have you always been, or has your work at the library helped?\"\n\n\"Work at the library's helped me in many ways, but I don't think of myself as perceptive. I get surprised by people all the time.\"\n\n\"Who broke your heart, Phoebe?\"\n\nHer eyes widened but she smiled. \"See? I was just surprised by you. I didn't expect that.\"\n\nHe stood closer. \"Have you given up on love? Falling in love is fine for your sisters, your friends, but for you...\"\n\n\"I know everyone in Knights Bridge.\" She spoke lightly but the way she averted her eyes told a different story. \"I'd have to go looking out of town.\"\n\nNoah saw that she wasn't going any deeper, not here, not now. He smiled. \"You could always wait for a rich, good-looking swashbuckler to turn up.\"\n\nHe noticed her immediate relief at his teasing tone. \"My perfect fantasy,\" she said with a laugh. \"What's yours?\"\n\n\"Maybe it's a redheaded small-town librarian.\"\n\nAs they walked back to the house, Noah received a text message from Brandon Sloan that Julius Hartley had just taken a booth at Knights Bridge's one and only restaurant. Brandon was all set to meet Noah there, but Noah texted him back that he'd go alone.\n\nHe debated whether to tell Phoebe about the message from her brother-in-law and finally did.\n\n\"You can't move a muscle in Knights Bridge without a Sloan knowing,\" she said, then nodded up toward the driveway where he'd parked. \"Go on. I'll stay and help with the tomatoes. My mother or one of my sisters will give me a ride back to town. Smith's is the name of the restaurant. It's just down the street next to the country store.\"\n\n\"I'll find it.\"\n\nShe hesitated. \"Are you sure you want to meet Hartley on your own?\"\n\n\"I'm the one who brought him here,\" Noah said. \"I'll deal with him.\"\n\nPhoebe gave him the slightest of smiles. \"Then I recommend the turkey club,\" she said, heading off to her mother's vegetable garden.\n\n* * *\n\nJulius Hartley didn't seem surprised or nervous when Noah sat across from him at a dark-wood booth at Smith's, a small, family restaurant located in a 1920s house around the corner from the country store. Framed color photographs of the Quabbin Reservoir and wilderness hung on the walls. Noah studied a photograph of a bald eagle soaring above blue reservoir waters as he collected his thoughts.\n\n\"I'm having the turkey club,\" Hartley said. \"I hear it's an O'Dunn favorite.\"\n\nNoah knew it was meant as a provocative statement, a way to tell him that he was dealing with a private investigator, a man who was good at his job. Noah shifted his gaze from the eagle. Hartley already had a tall glass of iced tea on the table in front of him\n\n\"The meatloaf is supposed to be good, too,\" Hartley added. \"Homemade. Have you ever had meatloaf, Kendrick?\"\n\n\"Not in a while.\"\n\n\"Since the first million or the first billion?\"\n\nNoah didn't respond. \"What did you want with Elly O'Dunn?\"\n\n\"What, you don't believe I'm interested in buying goats, either?\" Hartley grinned and slung an arm over the back of the booth. \"I'm taking that as a positive. I assume you've been out to the O'Dunn place.\"\n\n\"I just came from there.\"\n\n\"With your princess?\" Hartley waited a half beat for a response and when he didn't get one, lowered his arm and helped himself to his tea. \"How much do you know about these people?\"\n\n\"That's not why I'm here.\"\n\nHartley raised his eyes. \"Here to kick my ass? No problem. I get that. Elly O'Dunn works in the town offices. She and your librarian princess are probably putting a dossier together on me.\"\n\n\"Good,\" Noah said.\n\n\"And if they aren't, you and your friend Loretta Wrentham are.\"\n\n\"You showed up in Loretta's office. Why? How do you know her?\"\n\nHartley shrugged, clearly unconcerned. \"It's my job. As you well know by now, I'm a private investigator in Los Angeles. I had a few questions, I got them answered and now I'm going home. It's all you need to know.\"\n\nNoah shook his head. \"I'll decide what I need to know.\"\n\nHartley was clearly not intimidated. \"Knock yourself out.\"\n\n\"Who are you working for?\"\n\n\"You know better than to ask.\" Hartley leaned back, glanced around the quiet restaurant. \"If you think what comes after NAK is here in Sleepy Hollow, you're kidding yourself.\"\n\nNoah said nothing. A waitress took his order, and he asked just for iced tea. He wasn't having dinner with Julius Hartley, L.A. private investigator. Noah was aware he could be naive about people and oblivious to obvious rogues and scoundrels, but he wasn't that naive and oblivious.\n\nHartley swirled the tea and ice in his glass. \"You like the action, the pressure of the work you do. Solving problems. Building something from scratch. Getting other people involved, like your hockey-player friend.\"\n\n\"Dylan was invaluable in building NAK.\"\n\n\"Invaluable is one of those words that sounds like it means the opposite of what it means. It doesn't matter to me what comes next for you. I'm not working for your board of directors, in case that's what you're thinking.\"\n\n\"It's not my board. It's the shareholders' board.\"\n\n\"Right. Things have changed for you.\"\n\n\"Is that why you're on my tail? To find out what I'm up to?\"\n\n\"I just told you I don't care what you're up to.\"\n\nTheir waitress delivered Hartley's club sandwich and Noah's iced tea.\n\nHartley helped himself to a golden-brown fry. \"I can't remember the last time I had fries and a club. I should have ordered a chocolate shake. What the hell, right?\" He reached for a bottle of ketchup on the side of the table. \"I'm not a threat, Kendrick. If there's a threat, it's these people and their ideas about you and yours about them.\"\n\n\"And you know what their ideas about me and my ideas about them are?\"\n\n\"They know you don't belong here. You're trying to pretend you do.\"\n\nNoah didn't rise to the bait. \"You were on my tail in San Diego and then you followed me out here. Why?\"\n\n\"I didn't 'follow' you. Careful with the language.\"\n\n\"I'm giving you a chance by meeting you here by myself. I could have called my security team at NAK and had them arrange for people to meet you here.\"\n\n\"That'd get this town talking. You don't want that, do you? You can fool them into thinking that you're normal until you summon a big black SUV filled with private security types.\"\n\nNoah hadn't tried to fool anyone, and even if he had, he hadn't met anyone in Knights Bridge who gave a damn that he was a billionaire. Except Phoebe, and then only because he'd kissed her.\n\n\"You don't think like normal people, Kendrick.\" Hartley dipped a fry into his mound of ketchup. \"You're a solo operator when it comes right down to it. Dylan McCaffrey got that about you in first grade. That's why you two get along.\"\n\nNoah drank some of his tea. He was used to people trying to figure him out. \"Does your presence here have anything to do with Dylan?\"\n\nHartley ate his fry in two bites. \"He and Olivia Frost are an interesting pair, aren't they? I drove out to the Frost sawmill. Pretty setting. Must be tough, your best friend, maybe your only real friend, falling for a woman on the other side of the country. Think that's making you vulnerable to Phoebe O'Dunn's charms?\"\n\n\"You're not answering my questions,\" Noah said.\n\n\"You date beautiful Hollywood actresses who want you to bankroll their chance at the big time. Phoebe's not in their league when it comes to being a good trophy.\" Hartley picked up a triangle of his club sandwich, then grinned at Noah. \"You're doing fencing breathing, slowing your heart rate, so you stay calm and don't go for my throat?\"\n\nIt wasn't that far from the truth. \"Did an actress I dated hire you?\" Noah asked calmly.\n\n\"You're assuming anyone hired me. Relax. I'm leaving Sleepy Hollow as soon as I finish my dinner. The club really is good. You should try it.\"\n\nNoah wasn't even close to being hungry. \"It's good you're leaving town but I still intend to find out why you're here.\"\n\n\"Go for it. The O'Dunns might grow tomatoes and raise goats and such, but it would be a mistake to think they're pushovers, or that they need you to protect them.\"\n\nNoah didn't want his presence in their town to harm them. Then why had he stayed? Why did he continue to stay?\n\nHartley wiped his fingers with a cloth napkin. \"One of the dessert specials is something called apple brown betty. It's made with local apples. First of the season, apparently. I don't think I can resist. I'll be in Boston tonight and back in sunny Southern California tomorrow.\"\n\nNoah got to his feet and tossed a few bills on the table for his tea. \"Then what?\"\n\n\"We'll see. Have fun in Sleepy Hollow, Noah. Every town has its secrets.\" Hartley grinned. \"So does every redhead. Ask your mild-mannered librarian how she got the scar on her knee.\"\n\n\"We're not done, Hartley.\"\n\n\"Nothing more dangerous than a bored billionaire,\" Hartley said, more amused than intimidated.\n\nNoah left the restaurant and walked up to Main Street where he'd parked. It was a pleasant summer evening. He was used to being a fish out of water wherever he was and Knights Bridge was no exception, but it was also different\u2014and not just because it was small. His friend had discovered a grandmother here and fallen in love here, and now he was making a home here.\n\nAnd there was Phoebe.\n\nShe was as intriguing as a small-town librarian as an Edwardian princess.\n\nAs he started to get into Olivia's car, he noticed Phoebe across the street on the common. She was with her sister Ruby and another young woman he took to be Ruby's twin, Ava.\n\nPhoebe waved to him. He thought she smiled.\n\nNoah was in no rush to get back to Buster. He crossed the quiet street.\n\nPhoebe broke away from her sisters and intercepted him by an old-fashioned gazebo. \"That was a fast dinner,\" she said. \"Was Hartley there?\"\n\n\"He was.\" Noah nodded toward her sisters. \"What happened to canning tomatoes?\"\n\n\"We got things rolling and then Mom ran us out so she could finish up in peace. She seemed preoccupied, which isn't like her, so we gave her some space.\" Phoebe pulled a lightweight shawl up over her bare shoulders. \"We're figuring out some of the staging for the fashion show. It's such a beautiful evening, we came out here.\"\n\n\"Sounds perfect.\" Noah suspected that she'd also recognized Olivia's car and hoped she'd catch him and get details on his meeting with Hartley.\n\n\"Then they're coming by my place to watch old movies,\" Phoebe added. \"Maggie might join us.\"\n\nPhoebe's shawl fell back off her shoulders, and she adjusted it again. Noah resisted an urge to help her. He knew what he wanted was to touch her creamy skin. Would it be cool now, in the evening air?\n\n\"Is this the life you always imagined for yourself?\" he asked her.\n\nHis question obviously caught her by surprise. \"It's the one I have.\"\n\n\"What about your sisters?\"\n\n\"Ava and Ruby are just twenty-three. We'll see what they end up doing after graduate school.\"\n\n\"Maggie?\"\n\n\"She got married so young. It was right after Dad died. Brandon had such big dreams. I don't know how she'll react to him giving them up.\"\n\n\"What makes you think he has?\"\n\n\"He's sleeping in a tent in Knights Bridge and working for his family.\"\n\nNoah shrugged. \"He's also two miles instead of seventy-five miles from his sons.\"\n\nPhoebe nodded, thoughtful. \"He's always been a good father. What are your plans for the rest of the evening?\"\n\nNoah didn't know what he was doing beyond not inviting himself to a girls' old movie night on Thistle Lane. \"I didn't gate Buster in the mudroom. I expect I'll be picking dog hair off the couch.\"\n\nHis touch of humor seemed to go right past her. She pulled up her shawl. \"And Hartley?\"\n\n\"On his way to Boston and then to California. I'm sorry if he caused you any alarm.\"\n\n\"Are you satisfied with what he told you about his reasons for following you?\"\n\n\"He didn't give me any reasons.\"\n\n\"So does that mean you're still on the case?\"\n\n\"It does, yes.\"\n\nPhoebe glanced back at her sisters, then shifted her gaze to him again. \"Ava and Ruby have so many great ideas for the fashion show. I think they're enjoying themselves.\"\n\n\"And you?\"\n\nShe smiled. \"Yes, me, too.\"\n\n\"You're an interesting family,\" Noah said. \"Any idea how Julius Hartley would know about a scar on your knee?\"\n\nHer eyes widened, and then she burst into laughter. \"Because everyone in town knows. I have no secrets, Noah. When I was twelve, I cut my knee at the Frosts' millpond. Maggie, Olivia and Jess Frost and I were swimming. The water was so cold\u2014not that it ever warms up\u2014but it was still early summer so it was especially frigid. They got out and I stayed in. Next thing I knew, one of Brandon's brothers was pulling me out of the water.\" Phoebe tilted her head back, the turquoise of her eyes rich and deep in the gray dusk. \"I had mild hypothermia, and I'd slipped on a rock. There was blood everywhere.\"\n\n\"Did you get stitches?\"\n\n\"No. We just bandaged up the cut. It's not that bad a scar. I don't know why people remember that story. It's not as if a cut knee is any big deal.\"\n\nIt wasn't just the cut knee, Noah realized. It was also staying in the cold millpond and ending up with hypothermia, to the point that she'd had to get pulled to safety by a Sloan.\n\nIt was a big deal because it was Phoebe O'Dunn.\n\nEveryone remembered her cut knee, hypothermia and rescue because they went against their ideas about her.\n\nHe touched a bit of fringe on her shawl and suspected it, too, was from the piles of old clothes donated for the fashion show. \"You're supposed to be the sensible O'Dunn.\"\n\nShe smiled at him. \"I am the sensible O'Dunn.\"\n\nNoah let her go and returned to Olivia's car. When he arrived at Carriage Hill, Buster had, in fact, liberated himself from the back room and was camped out on the sofa. Noah settled in next to him. He wasn't impulsive. He'd call Loretta. He'd stay focused.\n\nHe knew himself and he had clarity about what he wanted.\n\nAnd he wanted Phoebe O'Dunn.\nFourteen\n\nPhoebe opened a bottle of merlot and Maggie arrived with a variety of cheeses and crackers. They had fresh vegetables from their mother's garden, although Ava and Ruby insisted they couldn't look at another tomato right now.\n\nThey gathered in Phoebe's small living room and put on To Catch a Thief. They sighed over the beautiful Cote d'Azur scenery, took a poll about who thought Cary Grant was sexy\u2014all but Ava\u2014and argued about their favorite Alfred Hitchcock movies.\n\n\"That's my dress!\" Maggie pointed at the television with an olive-oil cracker topped with goat's cheese and cucumber. \"Oh, my. I'd forgotten how beautiful Grace Kelly was. I looked like a frump in comparison.\"\n\n\"You looked great,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"At least I managed to get into the dress and we only had to let out a seam here and there.\" She popped her cracker into her mouth. \"Don't you think Cary Grant's kind of old for Grace?\"\n\n\"It's a movie,\" Ruby said with a roll of her eyes.\n\nThey settled down, enjoying the movie. Ava had the small sofa to herself, Ruby a chair, Maggie and Phoebe throw pillows on the floor. Phoebe hadn't confessed to Ava and Ruby that she'd ventured to Friday's charity masquerade, but, given their sideways glances at her, she suspected they had an inkling. Maggie slipped up a couple of times, and finally Phoebe just told them.\n\nThey loved the idea. \"Oh, excellent,\" Ava said. \"Now I wish I'd gone, too.\"\n\nRuby glanced at Maggie. \"Did Phoebe dance with anyone?\"\n\nPhoebe reached for a slice of cucumber. \"Why are you asking Maggie and not me?\"\n\n\"Because Maggie will tell us and you won't,\" Ruby said without hesitation.\n\nMaggie settled back on her stack of pillows. \"Phoebe danced with a dashing swordfighter.\"\n\n\"A swordfighter?\" Ruby peered down at Phoebe. \"Not Noah Kendrick. Olivia says he's a master fencer. You were out at Mom's with him, and then on the common\u2014Phoebe. It was Noah?\"\n\n\"Are you the reason he stayed at Olivia's?\" Ava asked.\n\nPhoebe shook her head. \"I'm not the reason he stayed.\"\n\n\"But he was your swordfighter,\" Ruby amended.\n\n\"Yes, but it's not...\" Phoebe jumped to her feet. How could she explain to her sisters what was going on between her and Noah when she didn't understand herself? \"I'll get more crackers.\"\n\nShe disappeared into the kitchen. She should have canceled tonight but she'd thought she needed it. A fun night with her sisters would remind her who she was\u2014and who Noah was.\n\nAt least now Ava and Ruby knew about Friday. Phoebe had thought about it during the day and decided she didn't like that she, Maggie and Olivia knew but the twins didn't. Of course, that was before she'd run into Julius Hartley at the country store and ended up kissing Noah in the library attic.\n\nPhoebe grabbed another box of crackers and headed back into her living room. Her sisters had turned their attention back to the movie, at least for the moment. She set the crackers on the coffee table and resumed her position on the floor, watching Grace Kelly and Cary Grant on their adventures in the south of France.\n\nWhen the movie ended, Ruby kicked out her legs and sighed. \"That was so much fun.\" She wiggled her bare toes. \"We'll have to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's next time.\"\n\n\"You still haven't told us where you got the dresses, Phoebe,\" Ava said.\n\nPhoebe helped herself to a slice of green pepper from her mother's garden. \"At the library,\" she said.\n\nRuby took a handful of cultivated blueberries, also courtesy of their mother. \"Someone donated them for the show?\"\n\n\"I found them in the library attic,\" Phoebe said, then told her sisters about the hidden sewing room.\n\nRuby sat up straight, tucking her knees under her chin. \"A secret room in the library attic? Oh, wow. I love it. You'll let us see it?\"\n\nPhoebe nodded. \"Maybe you can help figure out which outfits are copies from movies and which are original designs.\"\n\nAva was as enthusiastic as Ruby. Maggie was quiet, frowning at Phoebe. \"What about the man you overheard on Friday night?\"\n\n\"His name is Julius Hartley,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"The guy who was interested in buying a goat?\" Ruby asked. \"He was at the masquerade ball, too?\"\n\nPhoebe nodded and brought them all up to speed about Noah and his mystery man from Friday night. \"Noah's still trying to figure out what Hartley wants with him,\" she said finally. \"I accidentally got in the middle of it. Hartley's going back to California and I imagine Noah won't be far behind.\"\n\nMaggie started to say something else but Ava stood up. Her hair was in a long, loose braid that hung down her back. \"When we were helping you clean up after you bought this place, I found a box of old books in a corner of that big hall closet upstairs. Novels, books on movies, biographies of stars and directors, a Vogue sewing book, a couple of books in French\u2014I remember one was Le Petit Prince. I wonder if it has anything to do with your hidden room.\"\n\n\"What did you do with the box?\" Phoebe asked.\n\n\"I left it where it was,\" Ava said. \"I figured we'd get to it eventually. It's in back of the closet with some old curtain rods and wool blankets. Phoebe, you know what this means, right?\"\n\nShe nodded as she got to her feet. \"It's possible that whoever created that hidden room used to live here.\"\n\n* * *\n\nAfter her sisters left, Phoebe sat outside on a wicker chair in the cool night air and called Olivia in San Diego. \"I'm watching fireflies,\" she said when her friend answered. \"What are you doing?\"\n\n\"I'm sitting on Dylan's porch looking out at the Pacific. It's quite a view.\" Olivia sounded content. \"How's everything in Knights Bridge?\"\n\n\"You know the mystery man from the ball is Julius Hartley, a California private investigator, right?\"\n\n\"Yes. Noah and Dylan have been in touch.\"\n\n\"He was out at my mother's place this afternoon. Hartley. It must be because I danced with Noah at the masquerade.\"\n\n\"Is there anything I can do, Phoebe?\"\n\n\"I don't know that there's anything to be done,\" she said, then told Olivia about the hidden room. \"Has anyone in your family ever mentioned a woman who loved Hollywood and was also an incredible seamstress?\"\n\n\"Not that I recall. I can ask.\"\n\n\"Maggie, the twins and I think she might have lived here\u2014in my house on Thistle Lane.\"\n\n\"Maybe my folks remember her. I can ask. Who else knows?\"\n\n\"Noah.\" Before Olivia could respond, Phoebe changed the subject. \"How do you like San Diego, Liv?\"\n\n\"I love it. I'm having a great time. Coronado is beautiful. I love Dylan's house. It's across from the beach.\" She added with a small laugh, \"The interior could use some color.\"\n\n\"It sounds idyllic.\"\n\n\"I don't see Dylan giving up San Diego entirely. I don't know that I want him to. We'll figure it out. It's not exactly a problem, you know?\"\n\nPhoebe stood up from her wicker chair and looked out at the dark lane, wondered if her seamstress had once done the same. \"Sometimes it's harder to open ourselves up to new possibilities than just to stay put where we are, emotionally, physically. You have so much going for you now. Dylan, too. If you hadn't left Boston when you did, the way you did...\"\n\n\"Phoebe? You don't sound like yourself. Is something wrong?\"\n\n\"No, nothing. It's good to talk to you. I hope you know I'll support whatever you and Dylan decide to do.\"\n\n\"We'll be flying back soon,\" Olivia said. \"We'll be there for the fashion show, for sure.\"\n\n\"I'm sure Noah will head back to San Diego now that he's found his mystery man. Julius Hartley's heading back to L.A., too.\" Phoebe tried to ignore a rush of emotion. \"Maggie and I can see to Buster and your place.\"\n\n\"Have you met Hartley?\"\n\n\"Just for a few minutes. He was pretending to be interested in buying goats from my mother. Noah and I went over there.\"\n\n\"What did he think of your mother's place?\" Olivia asked.\n\n\"He didn't say but it's obviously not what he's used to.\" Phoebe sat on the top porch step, next to the trellis and its tangle of roses, and smiled into the phone. \"Have you seen his place in San Diego?\"\n\n\"Just the NAK offices. They're incredible. It must be weird for him to go from working night and day to not knowing what's next.\"\n\n\"True.\" Phoebe wished she hadn't brought up Noah's life in San Diego. \"We missed you at movie night tonight. My head's spinning a little from the wine. We watched To Catch a Thief.\"\n\n\"And was Grace Kelly's dress as much like the one Maggie wore as we thought?\"\n\n\"It's identical. It's amazing.\"\n\n\"I understand Brandon's sleeping in a tent at Dylan's place,\" Olivia said. \"Dylan thinks he's there to get her back. What are the odds he does?\"\n\nPhoebe didn't hesitate. \"He will. No question. I'm just not telling her that's what I think.\"\n\nThey laughed, Phoebe finally relaxing as she and Olivia chatted for a few more minutes. When they hung up and she went back inside, she realized how quiet the house was, and how alone she was. She'd never felt alone before. How could she, here in the midst of her hometown? So, why did she now?\n\n\"It's Noah,\" she said aloud, knowing that no one was eavesdropping in the roses and hollyhocks outside her windows.\n\nShe and her sisters had gone upstairs and found the box in the closet. Phoebe carried it downstairs. They went through the contents for any obvious clues to their seamstress's identity. A name scrawled on the inside of a book, an old letter, an old bank statement. But there was nothing except the books themselves.\n\nPhoebe took a yellowed copy of The Moonspinners from the box and brought it up to bed with her. She'd lose herself in Mary Stewart's descriptions of Crete, and she wouldn't think about kissing Noah Kendrick in the library attic.\n\n* * *\n\nBrandon Sloan was a damn pirate at heart.\n\nMaggie held that thought as she watched him come out the front door of her Gothic Revival house. It was just the sort of place the Sloans loved: one in need of carpenters.\n\nHe sat next to her on the steps. The night was cool enough that he had on an old gray sweatshirt. She was chilly in her sundress but tried not to shiver. It was all she needed, him thinking he ought to put an arm around her to help keep her warm.\n\n\"The boys want hockey sticks,\" she said. \"Did they tell you?\"\n\n\"Hockey? I thought you had them baking cupcakes.\"\n\nShe resisted elbowing him because touching him in any way would just remind her of touching him in all the ways she had in the past.\n\nIt had turned into that kind of night.\n\nThey'd made such a damn mess of their marriage. It was all she'd thought about walking home from Thistle Lane. Maggie realized that something about the box of books they'd dragged out of Phoebe's upstairs closet had gotten to her. It was as if the books captured a moment in time of a woman's life, provided a window into her hopes and dreams. Sewing and Hollywood and adventures.\n\nWhat would the odds and ends of her own day-to-day life say about her, now, at this moment?\n\nMaggie pushed back the thought. \"The hockey is probably Dylan's influence,\" she said.\n\nIt was a gibe and Brandon obviously knew it, but he didn't jump up and storm off. He just stretched out his thick legs and shrugged. \"Maybe it is.\"\n\nMaggie regretted her crack. Whatever his faults\u2014whatever her own faults\u2014he'd always been there for the boys. Just not always for her. But she didn't need him, right? Wasn't that what she'd been telling herself for months? Telling him?\n\n\"I have ice skates in the budget for winter,\" she said. \"The town still does the small outdoor rink on the common.\" It was just a homemade rink done mostly with hoses and shovels, a Knights Bridge tradition going back at least to when her mother was a child. \"The boys and I will be able to walk over there so they can skate to their hearts' content. I think I even have my old skates.\"\n\n\"I remember when you and I would go ice-skating together,\" Brandon said.\n\nMaggie smiled despite a rush of emotion. \"You were a maniac. All that energy. What am I going to do if Tyler and Aidan have as much energy as teenagers as you did?\"\n\n\"Keep doing what you're doing.\"\n\n\"And watch them like a hawk,\" she muttered.\n\nBrandon grinned. \"Like I said, keep doing what you're doing.\" He looked out at the street, just one window lit in the saltbox house, one of the oldest houses in the village, opposite hers. \"You like living in town. The boys do, too. They like being able to walk to everything.\"\n\n\"You think I'm too soft,\" Maggie said, crossing her arms on her chest as she sat up straight. \"I'm not raising them to be tough Sloan men. I have them doing story hour at the library instead of roping a steer.\"\n\n\"Roping a steer? I guess they could rope goats at your mother's\u2014\"\n\n\"Goats are soft, too, right? She has a well-equipped toolshed, at least. It's got hammers, nails, drills, saws. No guns and fire hoses, though.\"\n\nBrandon sighed. \"What did I say, Maggie?\"\n\n\"Nothing. I can tell what you're thinking.\" She stood up, glaring down at him in the dark, on a roll now, her emotions boiling over. \"You and your family have always thought I was too soft, because my father was such a dreamer and then he died in a stupid accident and it's just been my sisters and my mother and me for so long.\"\n\n\"Your father was a good man, Maggie, but he still left you all with nothing.\"\n\n\"We have the land. We've all worked hard to help Mom hang on to it. Tyler and Aidan love it out there.\"\n\n\"I know they do.\" He stood, the light from the house casting dark shadows on his face. \"You're coping with a lot on your own, Maggie. It doesn't have to be that way. I can help.\"\n\n\"Help how?\"\n\n\"Any way you need.\"\n\nShe hadn't expected him to be so calm, not reacting to any of her barbs, deliberate or otherwise. She blinked back tears. \"I never should have had wine with my sisters. I'm sorry if I...\" If I what? She didn't even know. \"Never mind. Why are you back here, Brandon?\"\n\n\"My father needed the help.\"\n\n\"You're giving up on your dream of wandering the world?\"\n\nHis eyes held hers. \"I haven't given up on anything.\"\n\n\"What about Boston? You never wanted to live in a small town.\"\n\n\"If I hadn't gotten laid off, I'd have kept working in Boston.\" He spoke simply, without any obvious emotion. \"I do what I have to do. I always have.\"\n\n\"While wishing you were somewhere else.\"\n\n\"Not always,\" he said softly.\n\n\"Why are you living in a tent? I suppose it helps to have a temporary place, so you can pretend you're not really back in Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"So I can save money.\"\n\n\"For a trip,\" she said. \"Not for ice skates.\"\n\nHe said nothing.\n\nMaggie regretted her sharp words. \"I'm sorry. I know you'd do anything for the boys. It's me...\" She stopped herself, cleared her throat. \"You won't be living in a tent once the snow flies. It's fine for now but...\" She left it at that. He knew what she was saying. What she was asking. Would he be staying in Knights Bridge?\n\n\"Don't worry about me, Maggie.\"\n\n\"I'm not worried about you. I'm trying to figure out what's next for you. For us.\" She waved a hand. \"Never mind. Let's talk about something else.\"\n\n\"All right. If that's what you want.\" He glanced back at her house with its \"gingerbread\" Gothic Revival details. \"The place is looking good. Going to paint it shades of pink? It's what you used to say when we walked past this place as kids. That you'd paint it shades of pink if you lived there.\"\n\n\"I'm actually thinking about a neutral color. Did the boys tell you they want to build a tree house out back? I can help but I'm not that great with hammers and nails. Mom's better but she's got her hands full.\"\n\n\"Their dad's a carpenter,\" Brandon said quietly. \"I can help my sons build a tree house, Maggie.\"\n\n\"They'd like that. They look up to you. I...\" Maggie sighed, her shoulders sagging as all the fight went out of her. \"When did it become so awkward between us? We used to be able to talk about anything. Not that you were ever a big talker but I never felt I couldn't speak my mind, that you couldn't speak yours. We were best friends.\"\n\nHe touched her cheek, her hair. \"You're tired. You're taking on a lot.\"\n\n\"I love what I'm doing. I love being back here. I wasn't sure I would but everything's turning out better than I anticipated. Don't worry, I still have my dreams.\"\n\n\"A gingerbread house in Knights Bridge village.\"\n\n\"Life could be worse, you know.\"\n\nHe smiled. \"You could be living in a tent.\"\n\n\"I remember some good nights with you in tents.\"\n\nHe winked. \"Damn straight.\"\n\nAfter he left and the boys were in bed, Maggie sat at her kitchen table with a stack of cookbooks. The kitchen was in good shape, with a relatively new gas stove and a decent refrigerator, but it still needed work. Buying the house hadn't felt as impulsive as it probably was. She'd been drawn to it since childhood, and she'd thought it'd be a great place for the boys. But it really was a fixer-upper, and here she was, the estranged wife of a carpenter who was related to all the other carpenters in town.\n\nShe pictured laughing with Brandon as they painted the kitchen together, but it wasn't going to happen. She was on her own. He would always be the father of their two young sons, but that was it.\n\n\"It can't be. It just can't be.\" Before she could burst into tears, she called Olivia as a distraction, as well as to check in on her friend. \"Am I catching you at a bad time?\"\n\n\"I'm not sure there is a bad time in San Diego. It's a stunningly beautiful day out here.\" Olivia sighed, obviously content. \"What're you up to?\"\n\nFrom the tone of her friend's voice, Maggie suspected Olivia knew that things were a bit complicated back home. \"I think we should try making our own essential oils for our soaps. They're so expensive to buy. You have some great herbs at your place. We'd have to dry them, and we'd need to buy equipment for distilling...\" She realized she was ready to burst into tears. \"What do you think?\"\n\n\"It's something I've been considering for a while,\" Olivia said. \"Will you have time?\"\n\n\"I'll make the time. Except for harvesting the herbs, we have flexibility. We can save up everything and make the soap during our down times. It should be quiet after foliage season, before the holidays. It'll be fun.\"\n\n\"Maggie? You sound upset. What's going on?\"\n\nMaggie immediately felt guilty for making the call when she was in such a down mood. \"Nothing I can't figure out. Tell me about California.\"\n\n\"If you tell me about Phoebe and Noah.\"\n\n\"Wait, what do you know about Phoebe and Noah?\"\n\n\"Not much except that something is going on between them. Phoebe's being tight-lipped, probably because Noah and Dylan are such close friends.\"\n\n\"Maybe she's afraid of mucking things up between you two.\"\n\n\"Not possible to muck things up between Dylan and me. So, what's going on? What am I missing?\"\n\nMaggie smiled through her tears and told her friend what she knew, which she realized wasn't everything, and what she surmised, which probably wasn't everything, either.\nFifteen\n\nCoronado was as beautiful as ever, the offshore night breeze prompting Loretta to grab a sweater out of her car as she and Olivia walked down to the historic Hotel del Coronado. Dylan had told them to go on ahead of him. He'd meet them shortly.\n\n\"He's worried about Noah,\" Olivia said, hugging her own sweater to her.\n\nLoretta shrugged. \"So far, Noah's managed just fine on his own in your little town.\"\n\n\"It's not just that.\" Olivia glanced out at the water, the lights of the sprawling hotel reflecting eerily in the white caps of the incoming tide. \"Dylan believes that none of this\u2014\" she waved a hand back toward Dylan's expensive house \"\u2014would have been possible if Noah hadn't knocked on his window when Dylan was sleeping in his car.\"\n\n\"Synergy,\" Loretta said. \"Noah knows he'd have crashed and burned without Dylan's help.\"\n\n\"And now what? What's next for both of them?\" Olivia took a deep breath. \"I don't want Dylan to move to Knights Bridge just for my sake. It's too much to ask, and I wouldn't. It's not that Knights Bridge doesn't measure up to San Diego. It does, at least for me. It's home. But this is home for him.\"\n\n\"You can do both, you know. Knights Bridge and San Diego.\" Loretta shivered in the gusty breeze, but she welcomed it at the same time, let it clear her head, keep back her own emotions. \"It's not like you two will be scrimping to pay for groceries.\"\n\nOlivia smiled. \"You're blunt, aren't you?\"\n\n\"You can't help either of those two if you're not. When Dylan was playing hockey, he could read the ice, read a defense, without thinking. He just knew. Same with NAK and his role there. Noah's smart, but he doesn't always pick up on what's going on around him. Karate and fencing help him tune in, I think.\"\n\n\"He gives people the benefit of the doubt until they give him reason not to.\"\n\n\"It's not a bad way to be. Dylan's not cynical but let's just say he gives people a shorter rope than Noah does.\" Loretta walked a few more steps as the tide came in on the wide sandy beach below them. \"Tell me about Phoebe O'Dunn.\"\n\n\"What about Phoebe?\"\n\nAs if Olivia didn't know what Loretta was asking. Loretta had already gathered that not much went on in Knights Bridge that Olivia and her family and friends didn't know about. That Grace Webster had managed to keep her affair with a British flyer and the birth of their son a secret for seventy years was a damn miracle as far as Loretta was concerned. Dylan said she'd understand when she met Grace. The assumption being that Loretta eventually would get to Knights Bridge.\n\nMaybe she would. She wondered if she'd understand the late Duncan McCaffrey any better when she did.\n\nProbably not.\n\nShe turned her attention back to the matter at hand. \"Phoebe was Noah's princess the other night. She overheard Julius Hartley talking on the phone to someone\u2014probably someone out here.\"\n\nOlivia seemed more amused than surprised. \"You do know everything, don't you?\"\n\nLoretta laughed. \"Not by half. Not when it comes to Noah and Dylan. So what about your friend Phoebe?\"\n\n\"We've been friends forever. My younger sister and I grew up with Phoebe and her sisters.\" Olivia glanced out at the Pacific, as if picturing her hometown in her mind. \"Jess and I grew up at an old sawmill and the O'Dunns grew up on a small farm. It was a great childhood.\"\n\nLoretta prodded her. \"And?\"\n\n\"Phoebe's the eldest. She's always felt responsible for the rest of us\u2014her sisters, and even Jess and me.\" Olivia hesitated, lowering her arms, letting her sweater flap in the breeze. She seemed to welcome the cooler air. \"Phoebe found her father after he died in a fall out of a tree he was trimming. His death was hard on all of them.\"\n\n\"Phoebe tried to fix things?\"\n\n\"I think she just tried to be there for everyone. Her mother was always a live-for-the-moment type but she became even more so after Patrick's death.\"\n\nLoretta imagined a woman facing early widowhood with four daughters and a farm. \"She can be impractical?\"\n\n\"That's one way of putting it. Phoebe commuted to college from home, so she's never lived anywhere but Knights Bridge. She loves her job at the library. She's good at it. She's smart and sophisticated, Loretta. Don't think just because she's from a small town that she's not.\"\n\n\"Whoa. Phoebe's not the only one who's protective.\"\n\nOlivia sighed as they crossed a driveway to the hotel, its distinctive red turrets and white exterior glowing in the night lights. \"Sorry,\" she said.\n\n\"Don't be sorry. It's good to have friends who worry about you.\" Loretta grinned, lightening the mood. \"I wish I had a few.\"\n\n\"You're like Phoebe. You do the worrying.\"\n\n\"Am I guessing right that something's going on between her and Noah?\"\n\nOlivia tightened her sweater around her again. \"I think so.\" She slowed her pace as they continued along a curving walk to the hotel. \"Will Noah hurt her, Loretta?\"\n\n\"Noah's more likely to get hurt himself than to hurt someone else.\"\n\n\"He dates Hollywood types\u2014\"\n\n\"Who are more interested in his money and his connections than in him.\"\n\n\"He's a very wealthy man, and he can't have taken his company to where it is without being driven, maybe even a little ruthless. Phoebe's a gentle soul, unless she thinks one of us is in trouble.\"\n\n\"Does she think one of you is in trouble now?\" Loretta asked.\n\nOlivia shrugged. \"I don't think so. I don't know. I'm not there.\"\n\n\"She can be tough, too, from the sounds of it. She kept her cool when she overheard Hartley in the coatroom. And didn't she show up at that masquerade on her own?\"\n\n\"You're right. I don't want to underestimate Phoebe. She can hold her own with a California billionaire.\" Olivia turned, the light from the hotel catching her green eyes as she smiled. \"I'd put running a small-town library on a shoestring right there next to running NAK.\"\n\nLoretta thought she heard a hint of homesickness in Olivia's voice. They found their way down to the waterfront behind the main hotel and sat at an outdoor table overlooking the wide beach and glittering ocean. They ordered pi\u00f1a coladas and watched the crowd. Loretta heard teenagers laughing, noticed a young couple holding hands, two older couples chatting quietly together over drinks.\n\n\"Do you come here often?\" Olivia asked.\n\n\"From time to time. It's a good place to take out-of-town guests.\"\n\n\"It's so romantic. Dylan says you two used to come here for a drink after you talked business.\"\n\n\"Money's never been his favorite topic,\" Loretta said with a smile. \"That's how he ended up sleeping in his car. As they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. He wasn't as broke as he thought he was. I'd tucked some money away.\"\n\n\"But you didn't tell him,\" Olivia said.\n\n\"I told him when I did it. He just didn't pay attention.\"\n\nOlivia laughed, looking at ease with herself, her relationship with the man she would soon marry. Loretta felt a sudden sense of loss as she gazed out at the water. The wind had died down. She listened to the waves washing on the sand and wondered what her life would be like right now if Duncan McCaffrey had never gone to Knights Bridge, Massachusetts.\n\n\"I've known Noah and Dylan for a long time,\" she said finally. \"Dylan had just started with the NHL and Noah was still a student at MIT. I met Noah when he was out here on a break and went to one of Dylan's hockey games.\"\n\n\"They're like sons to you, aren't they?\"\n\nLoretta ignored a sudden tightness in her throat. \"Now you're making me feel old.\"\n\n\"I hope not.\" Olivia sat back with her pi\u00f1a colada and looked out at the dark ocean. \"What a beautiful spot.\"\n\n\"Some Like It Hot was filmed here.\"\n\nOlivia smiled. \"I'm glad Phoebe didn't try to put me in a Marilyn Monroe dress. It's so beautiful here, Loretta. Dylan's a very lucky man, and I love having him in my life. I love him. We never would have found each other without you.\"\n\nLoretta fought back tears that took her by surprise. She wasn't one for tears. As she studied the woman across from her, she was satisfied that Dylan had made the right choice in asking Olivia Frost to marry him\u2014as if choice had anything to do with it. The man was in love, and from what she'd heard in Noah's voice since he'd danced with Phoebe O'Dunn, he wasn't far behind. Loretta just wasn't sure he was in for as happy an ending as Dylan.\n\nShe kicked off her shoes and enjoyed her drink, subtly sniffling back any tears so Olivia wouldn't notice. Maybe Olivia had a point. Maybe in a way Dylan and Noah were like sons to her. She'd never regretted not having kids of her own.\n\nNoah had always struck her as a man looking for a real soul mate. A woman he loved, and who loved him, without condition. A woman he'd fight for, die for. It was the swordfighter in him, Loretta thought.\n\nShe'd never met two more decent men than Dylan McCaffrey and Noah Kendrick.\n\nWhat was she going to do if they both moved to Knights Bridge?\nSixteen\n\nNoah was in jeans\u2014no shirt, no shoes\u2014when Buster stirred and went to the kitchen door, barking through the screen as the two eldest O'Dunn sisters jumped out of Maggie's catering van. \"Company, Buster,\" Noah said, rising from the table with the last of his second cup of coffee. He figured he'd need a full pot of coffee before noon. It'd been a long night alone on the edge of Quabbin. Even Buster had been restless.\n\nMaggie and Phoebe approached the kitchen ell with an ease that suggested they'd forgotten he was dog sitting, which Noah doubted, or had heard rumors to the contrary. They were dressed in shorts and sport sandals. Maggie had on a Red Sox T-shirt, Phoebe a close-fitting tank top in a deep turquoise blue that matched her eyes.\n\nNoah finished his coffee as they entered the kitchen.\n\nAnd he'd told Buster it would be a boring morning.\n\nPhoebe all but gasped at seeing him. \"We didn't think anyone would be here.\" She kept one hand on the screen door, as if ready to bolt for the van. \"We thought\u2014we heard you'd left for California.\"\n\n\"Who told you that?\" Noah asked.\n\nPhoebe averted her eyes. \"It was the talk of the country store this morning.\"\n\nA vague answer at best but Noah let it go. \"I see.\"\n\n\"We're here to harvest mint,\" Maggie said, setting a basket on the kitchen island.\n\nNoah placed his mug in the sink. \"Dare I ask what you want to do with your mint harvest?\"\n\nMaggie turned to him. \"Olivia and I are having a go at making our own essential oils. She has several herbs that could work. We'll start with the orange mint.\"\n\n\"It'll have to dry first,\" Phoebe said. \"We won't actually be making essential oils today.\"\n\n\"You're off today?\" Noah asked her.\n\n\"Just this morning. I have an evening meeting.\"\n\nShe let the screen door shut behind her. Noah took that as a sign that she intended to stay for the mint-harvesting.\n\n\"Phoebe hasn't taken any vacation time this year,\" Maggie said. \"Right, Phoebe?\"\n\n\"I took time off in the spring to paint the porch.\"\n\n\"I rest my case,\" Maggie said, digging a pair of utility scissors out of an island drawer. \"If you want to help, Noah, that'd be great, but I suggest putting on a shirt. It'll be buggy in the mint patch.\"\n\nHe smiled. \"If you're warning me about insects, it means I should expect the worst.\"\n\nMaggie laughed and grabbed her empty basket. \"You're a riot, Noah,\" she said, heading for the mudroom and out the back door.\n\nPhoebe had her hair in a long, loose ponytail. She redid a clip that held stray curls off her face. Noah reached for a black shirt he'd brought downstairs with him. As he shrugged it on, he was aware of Phoebe watching him. He appreciated her reaction.\n\nHe fastened a few buttons. \"Did you sleep well last night?\" he asked her softly.\n\nBuster stirred, and she patted him. \"I read Mary Stewart until the wee hours. You?\"\n\n\"I was up late looking for things to do. Wood to chop, wild animals to slay. I did manage to chase Buster off the couch.\"\n\nShe laughed, visibly more relaxed. \"Olivia will appreciate that. Dylan won't care. Sorry we disturbed you. You don't have to help with the mint\u2014\"\n\n\"I don't mind.\"\n\nNoah had a feeling he'd be learning more about essential oils and soap-making than he ever thought of knowing before the morning was done.\n\nPhoebe followed her sister outside, and he put on shoes, grabbed the bug spray and Buster and joined them. The orange mint was at the end of the garden, almost at the shed where he'd first spotted Phoebe and hadn't even considered she might be his princess. He watched her squat down with a pair of clippers, snipping off the tops of the orange mint. He noticed the shape of her slim, bare legs.\n\nIt was definitely turning into a different morning than he'd planned. He was glad he hadn't called for a plane, after all.\n\nHe helped harvest the mint and bring it into a small room that shared the center chimney. Apparently Maggie and Olivia had conferred and decided the mint would dry there.\n\n\"What's it do for you?\" Noah asked as they spread the mint on a table, a flea-market find that Olivia had teased about putting on his painting list.\n\n\"Orange mint is supposed to be uplifting,\" Maggie said, then grinned at him. \"Aren't you uplifted?\"\n\n\"It'll be highly concentrated as an essential oil,\" Phoebe said. \"It's supposed to blend well with other essential oils.\"\n\n\"You never use essential oils directly on the skin,\" Maggie added. \"They're always diluted somehow.\"\n\nMaking an essential oil was a relatively complicated process that also involved a still, which Maggie said she had on order. Noah found the details surprisingly interesting. As they returned to the garden, she explained saponification, the chemical process that transformed a fat and alkali into soap and glycerin.\n\n\"We use only fresh goat's milk, not powdered,\" Maggie said. \"Soap making involves a range of my interests. Cooking, gardening, aromatherapy\u2014and my mother's goats, I guess. They've grown on me, finally. Each batch of our soap is handmade. I like that. We leave in the glycerin. A lot of commercial soap makers remove it because they can sell it.\"\n\n\"It's an ingredient in nitroglycerin,\" Noah said.\n\nShe wasn't that amused. \"Glycerin is a natural humectant. Goat's milk is very mild. A lot of people with sensitive skin swear by it because it has a pH level that's close to that of our skin.\"\n\n\"So that explains my baby-soft skin,\" Brandon Sloan said, climbing over a stone wall into the garden. \"I've been using the soap in Olivia's upstairs shower.\"\n\nMaggie wasn't that amused by her husband, either, but Noah could see Phoebe holding back a smile. He kept his mouth shut.\n\n\"Where are the boys?\" Brandon asked.\n\n\"With a couple of their friends. I'm picking them up for lunch.\" Maggie stepped onto the terrace, her enthusiasm for talking about mint harvesting and soap making on the wane.\n\nMaggie immediately headed back into the kitchen.\n\nPhoebe turned to Noah. \"Just leave the mint in the back room, out of any sunlight. It'll be fine.\" She smiled. \"Or it won't be fine and we'll toss it into the compost bin. Anyway, I should go. I have to be at the library soon.\"\n\n\"Weren't you two planning a picnic lunch?\" Brandon asked mildly. \"You know Maggie. She's always got food figured out.\"\n\nPhoebe scowled at him. \"Our morning didn't go quite as planned.\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"You could always leave the food for your poor starving brother-in-law.\"\n\n\"It's still in the van,\" Phoebe said, as if that explained everything.\n\nShe glanced at Noah, then left without another word.\n\nNoah stepped onto the stone terrace. He didn't know if he should follow Phoebe out to her sister's van and see them off\u2014or if he was supposed to take her retreat as her wish that he stay away. Dylan would know. Noah had no illusions that he was particularly good at figuring out what people were trying to say. Much easier if they just said it.\n\nBrandon picked up stray mint leaves off the terrace table. They heard the van start up out front. \"Fast exit,\" he said.\n\n\"Time got away.\"\n\n\"Yeah. That must be it. Did you just spend the morning picking mint?\"\n\n\"I walked Buster, too.\"\n\nThe big dog opened one eye from his spot under the table, as if he knew that life was rough for his dog sitter.\n\nBrandon grinned. \"Time to go back to San Diego?\"\n\nNoah didn't answer as he went into the kitchen, grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator and brought them outside. \"It's now officially after noon and I have nothing to do, so I can have a beer. If you're on the job\u2014\"\n\n\"I'm not. I'm taking the afternoon off. Maggie's dropping off Aidan and Tyler after lunch. We're hiking up Carriage Hill, then camping out at Dylan's place.\" Brandon uncapped his beer. \"Maggie's giving them instructions on spotting deer ticks. She's paranoid about Lyme disease. I guess that makes sense.\"\n\n\"I hadn't thought about Lyme disease,\" Noah said, then grinned. \"Now I will.\"\n\n\"Going out of your mind in our little town?\"\n\n\"It's only been a few days. I can do anything for a few days, but I've discovered that Knights Bridge is more complex than it might seem at first, despite the absence of traffic lights.\"\n\n\"I used to think it's isolated. It's really not. It's just small. It does help to have a driver's license if you're going to live here.\" Brandon dragged out a chair and sat down heavily, as if suddenly he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. \"You and NAK\u2014did you ever expect it to take off, get as big as it did?\"\n\n\"I worked toward that. It's the outcome I wanted.\"\n\n\"There were setbacks?\"\n\n\"Inevitably.\" When Brandon seemed to be looking for more, Noah added, \"We took steps each day, assessed, made adjustments, managed risk and learned to cope with uncertainty.\"\n\n\"No crystal ball?\"\n\nNoah smiled. \"No crystal ball.\"\n\n\"Maggie never used to mind taking a few risks. She jumped into catering with both feet, moved back here without a real plan, but she doesn't see it that way because it's her hometown. Her sisters are here. Her mother.\" Brandon drank some of his beer. \"It's me she wants to be practical.\"\n\n\"I think you can be practical and still take risks. You just want to be careful about not risking more than you can afford to lose, and you have to manage the uncertainties and unpredictability of the future.\"\n\nBrandon glanced back toward the kitchen, as if he were thinking about his estranged wife and their two young sons. He seemed to give himself a mental shake. \"Going public involved uncertainty, didn't it?\"\n\n\"It still does.\" Noah sat down, drank some of his beer. \"I didn't consider what I'd do after NAK went public as carefully as I could have.\"\n\n\"So that's why you're here dog sitting.\"\n\n\"Maybe so.\"\n\n\"Any paths not taken that you can take now that you can be free of the day-to-day running of your company?\" Brandon seemed to want to add something but was silent a moment. Finally he said, \"I suppose we all have paths not taken.\"\n\nNoah hadn't considered his situation in quite that way. \"I suppose so. What about Phoebe?\"\n\nBrandon narrowed his gaze on Noah. \"What about her?\"\n\n\"Her father died when she was in college and she stayed in Knights Bridge.\" Noah spoke carefully, aware that Phoebe was Brandon's sister-in-law, a woman he'd known since childhood versus a few days. \"Was that always her plan, or is there a path not taken?\"\n\n\"More like there's a guy who took off to Orlando without her. He wasn't from here,\" Brandon added quickly, as if that were a significant fact. \"They were at UMASS together. He was a senior and she was a junior when her father died. This guy didn't like sharing Phoebe with her mother and sisters on a good day.\"\n\n\"You met him?\"\n\n\"Yeah. Once. I was with Maggie at her mother's place. Those were tough days, right after their dad died. For a while they just didn't know...\" Brandon scowled as if irritated with himself. \"I'm talking too much. I never used to talk at all but I've been practicing.\"\n\nNoah hesitated but he knew he had to ask. \"Did Patrick O'Dunn commit suicide, Brandon?\"\n\nBrandon shook his head but the question clearly hadn't come as a shock. \"It crossed everyone's minds, but no, he didn't. It was just a stupid accident. Phoebe's guy\u2014he couldn't take it, having her in the middle of a family crisis. It was all about him. He gave her an ultimatum. Transfer out of UMASS and move with him to Florida or they were through.\"\n\n\"Phoebe's still here,\" Noah said.\n\n\"So she is. She hasn't been serious about a guy since then. Not that she'd tell me.\" Brandon settled back with his beer, no indication he had any bitterness toward Phoebe given his own troubled situation with her younger sister. \"You know sneaking into that ball the other night was a big deal for her, right?\"\n\nNoah nodded. \"She didn't tell anyone she was going.\"\n\n\"It was a last-minute decision. Phoebe's usually not impulsive. I ran into her. I kept my mouth shut but I guess the cat's out of the bag now.\" Brandon again narrowed his gaze on Noah. \"You two...\"\n\n\"I won't cause problems for her,\" Noah said quietly.\n\n\"As you say, not everything is predictable. It's up to us to respond to the unexpected. You didn't expect Phoebe. She didn't expect you.\" Brandon got to his feet. \"Life does have a say, doesn't it?\"\n\nNoah leaned back in his chair and thought he could smell orange mint in the warm air. \"You're not telling me all this as a friend. You're warning me.\"\n\n\"I guess you could look at it that way. I'm only telling you what everyone in town already knows.\"\n\n\"You don't want Phoebe hurt again.\"\n\n\"Let's just say I'm doing what I can to assess and manage risks.\"\n\nAnd I'm the risk, Noah thought. He was the stranger sweeping their Phoebe off her feet. Another man who could break her heart. She was happy with her life. No one wanted him to screw that up.\n\nNoah didn't want to, either.\n\nHe decided to shift the subject. \"What happened with you and Maggie?\"\n\n\"I'm in a tent for a reason.\" Brandon looked up at the sky. \"I'm not getting her back, Noah. It's not going to happen.\"\n\n\"Giving up easily, aren't you?\"\n\nBrandon sighed. \"Looking reality square in the eye. It's not something I always like to do, but I want Maggie to be happy. I know that much.\"\n\n\"Because you love her,\" Noah said.\n\n\"Always have, always will. That doesn't mean we can be together. Ack. I hate this kind of deep talk. I've been practicing, because she wants me to talk. Listening isn't enough. She says she has to hear my voice. I should practice talking to Buster. Hell of a lot easier to talk to a dog than to an O'Dunn.\"\n\nDespite Brandon's attempt to lighten his mood, Noah felt the other man's pain. \"I need to go back to San Diego to check on a few things,\" he said. \"You can see to Buster?\"\n\n\"Sure. I'll see to him.\" The big dog sat at Brandon's feet, obviously wanting to be petted. Brandon complied and grinned, his dark mood dissipating rapidly as some of his natural spark returned. \"The O'Dunn women are smart and quirky and pretty as hell, but damn, they're not easy.\"\n\nNoah smiled. \"What fun would easy be?\"\n\n\"Maggie's dress the other night makes me wonder if maybe she just wants a little old-fashioned romance in her life. What do you think?\"\n\n\"Like what?\"\n\n\"I don't know. Wooing.\"\n\nNoah stared at his new friend. \"Wooing?\"\n\nBrandon laughed. \"Yeah. I'll figure out some wooing options that won't break the bank. Meantime, I'll go up and take a shower with the goat's milk soap.\"\n\nBrandon seemed reenergized as he headed through the mudroom into his friend's house. Noah moved his chair into the sunlight and finished his beer. Bumblebees were again in the catmint.\n\nNo one in Knights Bridge had expected a man like him\u2014maybe any man\u2014to float into their librarian's life. It wasn't just his net worth. It was California. His work. His MIT background. His experience.\n\nHe was forbidden, he thought with a sigh.\n\nAt the same time, he liked the challenge, just as Brandon Sloan liked the challenge of \"wooing\" his wife back.\n\nBut what if Julius Hartley was right? Noah stood up in the sunshine, listened to the bees in the catmint, crows out in the fields. It didn't feel as if he'd seized on Phoebe because he was bored, but what if he had? What if he was drawn to her because she was so different, so out of reach? He wasn't playing games, and he was confident she was as attracted to him as he was to her.\n\nWell. Maybe not that confident. But confident that his interest wasn't one-way.\n\nHe'd had his share of Hollywood babes disappear on him. More who'd needed a push out of his life. He didn't want Phoebe to disappear and he didn't want to push her or cause her embarrassment, scrutiny or anything she'd live to regret.\n\nAfter his shower, Brandon walked up the road to Dylan's place instead of cutting through the field. Noah almost went with him, but there wasn't much to see. Dylan had shown him the plans for the new house and a barnlike building for his fledgling adventure travel business. He was also talking about finishing some of his father's treasure hunts. He and Olivia would live in the house, which would allow The Farm at Carriage Hill to function exclusively as a destination getaway. In addition to soap making, she and Maggie were talking about offering herbal lunches, tours and lectures at Carriage Hill.\n\nUnlike Noah, Dylan and Olivia and their friends in Knights Bridge didn't lack for ideas of what to do with themselves.\n\nIf Olivia hadn't met Dylan, she would have happily continued to live and work at her center-chimney house, with guests coming and going. Noah didn't see Dylan sharing a bedroom with her down the hall from strangers.\n\nHe'd shown Grace Webster the plans for her former property, too. She'd told Noah when he'd visited her that she couldn't wait to see the new house.\n\n\"I expect to live that long, you know,\" she'd said with a twinkle in her aged eyes.\n\nHe had no doubt.\n\nHe occupied himself with a few NAK-related calls, cleaning Buster's bowl, vacuuming Buster's hair off the couch and picturing Phoebe harvesting orange mint.\n\nThen he arranged for his flight back to San Diego himself. At six, he was scrounging in the freezer for something else to thaw for a quick dinner when Dylan called. Noah didn't bother hiding his relief. \"Someone to talk to who's not from Knights Bridge. At least not yet. What's up?\"\n\n\"You tell me,\" Dylan said. \"Is there anything else I need to know about you and Phoebe O'Dunn?\"\n\nHis friend might as well have been reading his mind. Noah was used to it. \"I won't screw things up for you here, Dylan.\"\n\n\"That's not an answer, is it?\"\n\n\"Why are you asking?\"\n\n\"I had a drink last night with Loretta and Olivia at the Hotel Del. We got to talking. It's been on my mind all day. Olivia asked how fencing has influenced you.\"\n\nNoah frowned as he dug out another container of frozen soup. Tomato-basil. Sounded good, and he didn't need much to eat before his flight. \"Influenced me how?\"\n\n\"In life. How you think, how you look at the world.\"\n\n\"Mostly in fencing I'm trying not to get a blade driven into my heart.\"\n\n\"Exactly Olivia's point. Loretta agrees. You should have seen her. It was as if she'd had this sudden epiphany about you, what makes you tick.\"\n\nNoah set the container on the counter. \"Dylan? Are you still jet lagged? You're not making any sense.\"\n\n\"You're skilled at avoiding the touch of a sword,\" Dylan said, apparently undeterred. \"Any touch, not just one that goes to the heart.\"\n\n\"That's because any touch can be fatal.\"\n\n\"Is that how you're thinking now, about Phoebe?\"\n\nNoah made a face. \"That she's\u2014what, a fencing partner?\"\n\n\"That in life as well as in fencing, you seek to avoid the blade.\"\n\n\"That's a tortured metaphor, Dylan.\"\n\nHis friend sighed. \"I had to try.\"\n\n\"Phoebe and Maggie were here earlier getting a start with making essential oils. That's all I know.\"\n\n\"Essential oils?\"\n\n\"For the goat's milk soaps. You know, this soap making is interesting.\"\n\nSilence on the other end of the phone.\n\nNoah grinned. \"You're interested. You're just surprised that I am, too. Never mind. I haven't talked to Loretta today. Anything to add about Julius Hartley?\"\n\n\"He does a lot of work in Hollywood,\" Dylan said. \"You have both business and personal connections there.\"\n\n\"I did have personal connections. I haven't in a while.\"\n\n\"Maybe that's why Hartley's on your tail. Maybe some pissed-off actress you dated sicced him on you when you didn't bankroll her in a movie.\"\n\n\"Maybe,\" Noah said. \"I need to know.\"\n\n\"I agree.\"\n\n\"I'm having a bowl of soup and then flying to San Diego later tonight.\"\n\n\"Good,\" Dylan said. \"You, Loretta and I need to put our heads together and see if we can figure out what's going on.\"\n\n\"Loretta and I can.\" Noah felt a light breeze through the window above the sink. \"You and Olivia will be walking on the beach.\"\n\n\"She wants to go to the zoo.\" Dylan sounded reasonably enthusiastic. \"She promised to bring back stuffed giraffes for Maggie's sons.\"\n\nNoah smiled. \"Then the zoo it is.\"\n\n\"Enjoy your soup. What kind?\"\n\n\"Tomato-basil. I might add some of the pesto Phoebe and I made, although that could be overkill.\"\n\n\"Noah...\" Dylan broke off. \"Never mind.\"\n\nAfter they disconnected, Noah peeled the top off the soup container. It was frozen solid. He heard an owl or a wild turkey or something in the woods and fields out back. Then he remembered the Sloan boys were camping with their father.\n\nHe left the soup to thaw on the counter and went into the living room. Buster had escaped from the mudroom and was back on the couch. Noah left him in peace and cleared a space in front of the fireplace. He eased into a series of basic fencing moves, then switched to karate and did several katas. He focused on his movements, his technique, his breathing. The positioning of a foot, a hand, a shoulder\u2014even a knuckle\u2014mattered. Every detail was important, worthy of his attention.\n\nWhen he finished, he took a shower in the upstairs hall bathroom, using a fresh bar of lemon-scented goat's milk soap. It was mild, soothing, reminded him of the beauty of the Swift River Valley and surrounding hills, of the sensibilities of the smart, kind and deceptively tough women who lived there.\n\nHe dried off and wrapped his towel around his waist as he went into one of Olivia's unused guestrooms. He noticed neatly ironed vintage pillowcases stacked at the foot of the queen-size bed. He looked out the window at the field behind the house, quiet in the early-evening light.\n\nThe library's fashion show was coming up soon. The Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn dresses Maggie and Olivia had worn in Boston weren't the only ones in Phoebe's hidden room copied from Hollywood movies.\n\nNoah turned from the window. Thoughts and possibilities\u2014odd connections\u2014came at him fast and furiously. They might amount to something, or they might amount to nothing, but he definitely had to go back to San Diego and talk to Loretta.\n\nAnd to Julius Hartley.\n\nHe walked down the hall to his bedroom and pulled on clean clothes, then headed back downstairs. Buster had vacated the couch and was sniffing at the counter.\n\n\"That's my soup, my friend,\" Noah said, getting out a bowl. He glanced at his watch. He had time to eat his soup before he had to be at the small private airport for his flight.\n\nHe didn't have time to eat his soup and stop to see Phoebe.\n\nSeeing Phoebe won over Olivia's soup, as good as it no doubt was.\n\n\"On second thought, Buster,\" Noah said, \"the soup is all yours.\"\n\nNot that the big dog was seriously interested in tomato-basil soup. Noah filled Buster's bowls with food and water, figuring he'd ask Phoebe to make sure someone looked after their friend's dog. It could be his excuse for stopping to see her, should the O'Dunns, the Frosts, the Sloans and the rest of little Knights Bridge be keeping an eye on Thistle Lane.\nSeventeen\n\nPhoebe had said goodnight to the last of a summer reading group that had met while she and the fashion show committee had gone over the last details of what promised to be a fun night. How profitable it would be was anyone's guess but at least they were managing to keep costs down.\n\nShe was tidying up the circulation desk, about ready to lock up and head home, when she heard the front door creak. She was surprised to see Noah enter the library. He moved with his usual smoothness, and he wore jeans and a black button-down shirt, his sleeves rolled up. She smiled to herself. He was even sexier than he'd been in his black cape and mask.\n\nHe pointed toward the children's section. \"I'll just be in here while you finish up,\" he said, then stepped into the empty alcove.\n\nPhoebe stifled images of him as a five-year-old\u2014then as a father, taking his children to the library. But would he? Had he ever gone to the library himself as a boy, picked out books, sat with other kids through a story hour? With her evening meeting, she'd had a long day and had spent much of it\u2014even while picking mint with him at Carriage Hill\u2014thinking about how little she really knew about Noah Kendrick.\n\nBeing a librarian, she'd searched out more information on him that afternoon, beyond what Vera had read at the hairdresser's or what everyone in town already knew since Dylan's arrival there in the spring. Phoebe had a few more facts at her fingertips. Noah was thirty-three, the only child of a structural engineer and a high-school chemistry teacher, both retired and living at their wealthy son's California Central Coast winery.\n\nIn addition to the winery, Noah owned a house in San Diego and a condo in Hawaii, and he collected antique swords.\n\nHe'd sailed through MIT. No surprise there.\n\nPhoebe thought of her avocado-colored refrigerator and her flea-market finds.\n\nA different world.\n\nThe women in Noah's life tended to be very attractive actresses, with or without talent.\n\nTalent, Phoebe suspected, wasn't that big an issue to him.\n\nShe glanced at her watch as if she had somewhere else she needed to be, but she didn't. And as Noah left the children's section and returned to the main room, book in hand, she realized she didn't want to be anywhere else.\n\n\"You read The Tale of Peter Rabbit to the kids?\" he asked her.\n\nShe nodded. \"They enjoyed it. It's hard not to identify with Peter.\"\n\n\"He drinks chamomile tea at the end.\" He smiled that enigmatic smile she'd noticed straight off at the masquerade in Boston. \"You and Olivia and your sisters must love chamomile tea.\"\n\n\"Especially with lemon,\" Phoebe said with a laugh.\n\n\"That Peter is a risk taker. Not all his risks work out that well, but his life is more exciting because he takes a few chances. At least he ends up with some great stories to tell.\" Noah set the book on the circulation desk. \"Okay if I leave it here? My mind was elsewhere and I don't remember which shelf it was on.\"\n\n\"We'll take care of it.\"\n\n\"I'm loquacious tonight. Must be that uplifting orange mint I inhaled all morning.\"\n\nNothing in her research had indicated that Noah Kendrick, founder and CEO of NAK, Inc., had a wry sense of humor, but Phoebe had discovered he did. He stood back, studied a series of framed photographs of Quabbin\u2014Winsor Dam, Goodnough Dike, the cemetery where graves and monuments from the lost towns were relocated and the beautiful, pristine waters of the reservoir itself.\n\nPhoebe eased in next to Noah and pointed to the steep, grassy hill formed by the dam on the southern end of the reservoir. \"My mother used to roll down the hill when she was a kid. Can you imagine? They don't allow that anymore, and they closed the road over the dam after 9\/11 for security reasons.\" She nodded to another photograph of an inundated section of what used to be Enfield, the largest of the towns that were depopulated, disincorporated and razed. \"Those islands were once hills in the valley towns.\"\n\nNoah gave her a sideways glance. \"You love this valley.\"\n\n\"It was flooded decades before I was born, but when I see people like Grace Webster, it doesn't feel that long ago. She loves that the protected wilderness has helped with the return of bald eagles to the area.\" Phoebe smiled. \"She's holding out for mountain lions.\"\n\n\"Was your father from around here?\"\n\n\"He grew up in a mill town just north of here. He came to Knights Bridge after he returned from Vietnam. He was drafted. He said all he ever wanted when he got back was to live in a small town and have a small farm.\" Phoebe went back behind her desk and grabbed her tote bag. \"I don't think he ever imagined meeting my mother and having four daughters.\"\n\nNoah turned from the photographs. \"How did they meet?\"\n\n\"My mother got lost in the woods by our house. There was just the shed then. Dad was living out there alone. He thought he'd be alone forever. Thought he wanted to be. Then Mom showed up, no idea where she was\u2014and she's lived in Knights Bridge all her life. She was dehydrated, covered in mosquito bites and singing Christmas carols. It was the dead of summer, but she says she could only remember the words to Christmas carols.\"\n\n\"What did your father do?\" Noah seemed genuinely interested. \"Did he have a phone? I think I'd have called the police, or at least an ambulance.\"\n\n\"No phone. He liked to tell us as kids that he tried to pretend the shed was abandoned, but my mother saw his truck and had heard stories about a Vietnam vet living out there, and she doesn't give up easily.\" Phoebe switched off her desk lamp, then started to the entrance, aware of Noah watching her, his stillness, his intensity. She glanced back at him. \"Coming?\"\n\n\"I want to hear the end of the story. What did your father do when your mother finally got him to come out of the shed?\"\n\n\"He gave her water and took her home. She said that was when she knew he was the man for her.\" Phoebe was silent a moment, picturing the two of them together. \"Dad always said Mom saved him from becoming a hermit. He really loved all of us so much.\"\n\nNoah joined her and they went out together. She locked up, then walked down the stairs with him. It was dark now. She'd noticed it becoming darker earlier, another sign the end of summer was near.\n\n\"Did your father retain some of his hermitlike ways?\" Noah asked as they descended the stairs.\n\nPhoebe noticed their shadows as they walked out to the street. Across the common, two teenagers were playing Frisbee. She took a breath, regaining control over her emotions. \"He never liked to go places,\" she said. \"He was content to stay in Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"What about you, Phoebe?\" Noah asked softly. \"Do you want to travel?\"\n\n\"I'd love to. My mother's always wanted to do a walking tour in England.\"\n\n\"What do you want to do?\"\n\nShe smiled. \"A walking tour in England. Jane Austen country, I think.\"\n\n\"So you'd go with your mother.\"\n\n\"Yes, absolutely,\" Phoebe said without hesitation. \"We travel well together, not that we've ever gone that far. Olivia wants Maggie and me to see San Diego.\"\n\nHe glanced at her. \"I think you'd like it.\"\n\n\"There's so much I want to see.\" She expected him to get into Olivia's car but didn't see it parked on the street. Instead he stayed with her as she turned onto Thistle Lane. \"I have a travel savings account and I'm accumulating travel points on my credit card. Every little bit helps. What about you? Do you like to travel?\"\n\n\"When I have time. I haven't traveled for pleasure as much as you might think. Hiking last week with Dylan and his friends was enjoyable but a hotel room on business isn't the same as walking with you on a quiet summer evening.\"\n\nShe felt a rush of heat and was grateful for the darkness. She could feel Noah's eyes on her as they walked down the lane, close to each other but not quite touching.\n\n\"You're happy here, Phoebe.\"\n\n\"I'm happy with what I have. My life might be predictable compared to some people's lives, but that's okay. It's good.\" She looked up at the sky, a few stars glittering against the darkening sky. \"It's warm out tonight but I can feel summer's winding down. Can't you?\"\n\nHe laughed. \"Don't tell me it's going to snow.\"\n\n\"I suppose your idea of snow is a ski slope?\"\n\n\"More like watching other people ski while I sit by the fire with a good Scotch.\"\n\n\"What about your winery? Do you get up there often?\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"As often as I can. The people who run it are good friends, and my folks live up there now. They love it.\"\n\nPhoebe didn't tell him she'd read about his parents. \"Why did you buy a winery?\"\n\n\"It seemed like a good idea at the time. It's worked out okay.\"\n\n\"But it's not what's next for you,\" Phoebe said.\n\nHe shook his head. \"No.\"\n\n\"I'd love to see that part of the country.\"\n\n\"I'd love to show you.\"\n\nPhoebe felt a rush of panic that she was getting in too deep with him. Falling in love with him. Not the billionaire, she thought. The man.\n\nBut he was a billionaire.\n\nThey came to her small house, a light on above the front door. \"I think my mystery seamstress lived here,\" she said. \"We found a box of books and things that could have belonged to her.\"\n\nNoah turned to her, his face more angular in the dark shadows. \"Would you mind if I took a look?\"\n\nHer mouth went dry. His tone, his eyes, the way he stood. All she could think about was their kiss in the library attic. She had no idea what he was thinking about, except he did seem genuinely interested in the box, or was doing a good job faking it.\n\n\"It's in the kitchen,\" she said finally. \"Come on. I'll show you.\"\n\nShe led him onto the porch and through the front door, switching on lights as she showed him back to the kitchen. She knew he was taking in her simple furnishings. Since it was just her living there, she didn't have to worry about melding her taste with anyone else's.\n\nShe offered him wine but he shook his head. \"But don't let me stop you.\"\n\nIt would stop her. Definitely. \"I don't like to drink alone,\" she said, then added, \"Not that I drink that much.\"\n\nHe was already lifting up a copy of Assignment in Brittany. \"Have you ever read Helen MacInnes?\" he asked.\n\n\"Not yet, no, but I was looking at that book last night and would love to read it.\" Phoebe leaned against the counter, watching him, really wishing she'd had wine. \"Helen MacInnes, Mary Stewart, Victoria Holt, Daphne du Maurier\u2014they're all popular with the women at Rivendell. Younger women are reading them now, too. I started The Moonspinners last night.\"\n\n\"My mother's a Mary Stewart fan,\" Noah said.\n\nPhoebe walked over to the table and ran her fingers along the softened spine of Rebecca. \"I love a happy ending.\"\n\nHe raised his eyes to her. \"Do you believe a happy ending is in store for you?\"\n\nShe shrugged. \"I'm not a character in a novel.\"\n\nHe set the Helen MacInnes novel back in the box and picked up This Rough Magic, another by Mary Stewart. \"Do you think in real life we only get one chance at a happy ending, and if it doesn't happen, that's it? We've lost our chance for a happy ending?\"\n\nPhoebe stood back from the copy of Rebecca, her eyes narrowed on him. \"Someone told you about Richard.\"\n\nIf Noah felt guilty at all, he didn't show it. \"Richard's the name of the guy who moved to Orlando without you?\"\n\nOrlando. Noah even knew that much. Phoebe faked a laugh. \"You can see I wasn't kidding when I told you I have no secrets. Richard dumped me two days after my father's funeral. I'd thought...\" She took a breath. \"Well, I thought he wouldn't do that. Who told you? Not my sisters.\" She thought a moment. \"Brandon Sloan. Male solidarity at work.\"\n\nNoah smiled. \"Brandon is outnumbered by O'Dunn women.\"\n\n\"Maggie's outnumbered by Sloan men. No one would even remember Richard if I'd had a string of affairs or gotten married, but I haven't. I have no complaints, Noah. I like my life.\"\n\n\"You have a life that you think will never change. In five years, ten years, thirty years, you'll be the director of the Knights Bridge Free Library, living on Thistle Lane.\"\n\nPhoebe dug into the box for another book. \"And what's wrong with that?\"\n\nNoah remained intent on her. \"Nothing at all is wrong with that, except that I've found that the future is hard to predict.\"\n\n\"I get that, Noah. I get that anything is possible. I could get fired. The library could get shut down. I could decide to move in with my mother and raise goats. I could go into catering with Maggie. You see? I get it.\"\n\n\"Possible doesn't mean probable.\"\n\n\"Is that an MIT way of talking?\" With sudden energy\u2014a burst of defensiveness\u2014she lifted three books out of the box and set them on the table. \"The library's always been in excellent hands. People love it. It'll be okay regardless of what I do. I'm a temporary caretaker, whether I'm there for five years or fifty years.\"\n\n\"Phoebe...I'm not trying to upset you.\"\n\nShe nodded. \"I know.\" She opened the faded, yellowed paperback copy of Le Petit Prince. \"Do you speak French?\"\n\n\"Some.\"\n\n\"What does 'some' mean to you?\"\n\n\"It means I can get along okay in Paris,\" he said.\n\n\"Do you like Paris?\"\n\n\"Dylan and I were there on business a few times. It's such a romantic city, and there we were, a couple of straight guys on our own, working twelve-hour days. We both thought it was terribly unfair.\"\n\n\"You regretted not bringing one of your Hollywood babes,\" Phoebe said, then winced. \"I'm sorry. That was rude and uncalled for.\"\n\nNoah didn't seem to take offense. He tucked a finger under her chin. \"I regretted not being there with a woman I cared about. So did Dylan. At the time, though, we didn't have that kind of woman in our lives.\"\n\nPhoebe resisted an urge to grab his hand, thread her fingers into his. It seemed crazy and at the same time inevitable. \"You two worked hard,\" she said. \"You had no guarantees that any of the risks you took\u2014all your hard work\u2014would pay off, especially early on.\"\n\n\"Part of what made it fun did.\" Noah slid a hand along what was left of her ponytail, down her back. \"Phoebe...\"\n\nShe knew he was attracted to her. She could see it in his eyes, in the set of his jaw. She could feel it in the way his hand drifted lower on her back. \"My seamstress taught herself French and fashion design, and as I said, I'm guessing she lived here.\"\n\n\"You're starting to identify with her.\"\n\n\"I want to know her story. I wonder if she went to Hollywood. If it was her dream and she seized the moment and went. To act, to be a costume designer\u2014I don't know. If she wanted us to find her\u2014anyone in Knights Bridge, I mean\u2014she'd have been in touch in the past forty years. Maybe she doesn't want to be found.\"\n\n\"She could have changed her name.\"\n\n\"I don't even know her name when she was here.\"\n\n\"But you're on the case,\" Noah said.\n\nShe nodded. \"I love a good mystery, too.\"\n\n\"Nero Wolfe always gets his man.\"\n\n\"He never really changes. It's one of the things I enjoy about him. But that's not how life is, is it?\" She draped her arms over Noah's shoulders. \"I think I'd like you to kiss me again, Noah Kendrick.\"\n\nHe was already lowering his mouth to hers, slipping his arms around her waist. He drew her against him, lifting her off her feet, nothing gentle or tentative about him when his lips touched hers. She felt her dress ride up, her bodice go askew, but didn't care about her exposed skin.\n\nHe sat her on the table, old books falling onto the floor as he skimmed his hands up her sides, letting his thumbs ease under her breasts, find her nipples under the fabric.\n\nAwareness, the ache of desire, spread through her. She opened her mouth to his kiss, tasted him. She shut her eyes, gasped when she felt him ease her dress off her shoulders. The bodice fell to her waist.\n\nHardly aware of what was happening, she suddenly felt her bra come off, the cool night air on her breasts. She couldn't breathe. \"Noah,\" she whispered, kissing him again, holding on to his shoulders.\n\nHe trailed light kisses down her throat, slowing when he reached her breasts. She still had a grip on his shoulders as he took a nipple between his lips. When she felt the wet heat of his tongue, it was all she could do to stay upright on the table.\n\nThe crack of a heavy tome hitting the floor brought him to his senses.\n\nHe stood back, gently easing her dress up over her exposed breasts. His eyes were dusky, a rawness to his movements despite his impressive, never-faltering control. Phoebe tried not to let her gaze drift too low, but she knew he wasn't unaffected by their near lovemaking.\n\nShe held her dress to her and smiled. \"Well. I'm glad we're in the kitchen and don't have to worry about neighbors peeking in the windows.\"\n\n\"It's a small town.\"\n\n\"And you're leaving.\"\n\nHe didn't contradict her. \"I'll be back,\" he whispered. \"I promise.\"\nEighteen\n\nMaggie was glad when Phoebe knocked on her door at seven-thirty and dragged her to the library before it opened. That way she couldn't drive over to Carriage Hill too early and Brandon couldn't accuse her of hovering over Aidan and Tyler.\n\nShe hated an empty house. She'd never lived alone and she'd lain awake most of the night, hearing every creak and groan, imagining what she'd do if a bat got in, remembering having Brandon asleep next to her.\n\nA long damn night.\n\nShe met Phoebe on the library steps. It was a perfect August morning. The boys would be having a blast with their father.\n\nPhoebe frowned. \"You okay, Maggie?\"\n\n\"Cranky. I'll get coffee after we're done.\" She stood back, appraised her older sister. Phoebe wore a dull green sundress with no jewelry, her hair down, barely combed, as if she'd had a bad night herself. \"What about you? You okay?\"\n\n\"Just a lot to do before the fashion show.\"\n\nIt made sense but Maggie didn't think it was all. Phoebe was used to juggling her professional obligations. The fashion show had become personal, too, with the dresses\u2014with Noah Kendrick.\n\n\"Noah left a message that he's gone back to San Diego,\" Maggie said. \"I'll stop by Olivia's after we're done here and walk Buster. Did you see Noah before he left?\"\n\n\"Just for a minute.\" Phoebe waved a hand toward the street. \"Here are Ava and Ruby now.\"\n\nThe twins joined them, looking curious and sleepy but not as cranky as Maggie felt. Phoebe didn't waste any time and took them straight up to the attic.\n\nHer hidden room was even more amazing than Maggie had expected. She had zero interest in sewing and fashion design, but the dresses, the fabrics\u2014the atmosphere of the tiny, cramped room\u2014affected her. She could feel the talent, skill and obsession of whoever had created it.\n\nHow many years ago was it? Thirty? Forty?\n\n\"I can see why you didn't say anything right away,\" Maggie said, looking at the fabrics, the finished dresses, the simple shelves and sewing table. \"It feels as if we've walked into someone else's secrets.\"\n\n\"Someone who was vulnerable, maybe,\" Ava added, rubbing her fingertips over the rose-beige silk of a dress hanging in an open garment bag.\n\nRuby raised the lid on a cedar-lined trunk. \"Phoebe, did you bring Noah up here?\"\n\nPhoebe opened a creaky corner door, morning light streaming in from a small window. \"Why would I bring Noah up here?\" she asked casually. \"Actually, he came up here on his own. I was checking it out after I called him about running into Julius Hartley.\"\n\nMaggie stood back, reading Phoebe's expression. Ava did the same thing and emitted something between a groan and a squeal. \"Phoebe!\"\n\nRuby's eyes widened. \"Has Noah fallen for you?\"\n\n\"You've fallen for him.\" Ava raked a hand through her hair. \"Phoebe, you know he's a billionaire, right? He's not a regular guy. Dylan's rich but he's a hockey player at heart. Not that I have anything against Noah, but Phoebe...\"\n\n\"I know,\" she said. \"Don't worry. There's nothing between us. Really. He's gone back to San Diego.\"\n\nAva seemed to regret her words. \"I just want you to be happy, Phoebe. I don't know Noah. He seems nice.\"\n\n\"It was that dress you wore the other night,\" Maggie said. \"It sucked you into romantic fantasies. They'll bite you in the end. They always do.\"\n\nPhoebe gave her a knowing look, as if she suspected Maggie's remark had less to do with Noah than it did with one Brandon Sloan.\n\nMaybe it did, Maggie thought.\n\n\"What are you going to do now?\" Ruby asked.\n\n\"I have to work today,\" Phoebe said. \"We have a lot to do to get ready for the fashion show.\"\n\nRuby sighed. \"I meant about Noah.\"\n\nPhoebe turned from the open corner door. \"My life's here in Knights Bridge.\" She smiled. \"What would you all do without me?\"\n\n\"Visit you in San Diego in February,\" Ava said with a laugh.\n\nBut Ruby wasn't done yet. \"So you're not doing anything,\" she said, clearly frustrated. \"Noah Kendrick is interested in you, and now it's just business as usual?\"\n\n\"Maybe what's next isn't up to me,\" Phoebe said quietly.\n\nRuby groaned. \"Then who is it up to?\"\n\nPhoebe didn't answer as she ushered her sisters back downstairs. Ruby and Ava stayed behind to work on the fashion show, but Phoebe made them promise not to pester her about Noah.\n\nAs she drove out to Carriage Hill, Maggie remembered the look on Phoebe's face when they'd found her billionaire shirtless in Olivia's kitchen. Maggie didn't need confirmation. There was no question in her mind that her sister had fallen for Noah.\n\nIf he broke her heart, Maggie would fly to San Diego herself.\n\nAnd do what?\n\nNoah was Dylan's best friend, and Dylan was Olivia's fianc\u00e9. That wouldn't stop Maggie from giving Noah a piece of her mind, but it would Phoebe. She'd just keep her pain to herself and carry on.\n\nBut what if Noah had fallen for Phoebe, too? What if they were meant to be together, just like Olivia and Dylan?\n\n\"Then what?\" Maggie asked herself aloud as she climbed out of her catering van.\n\nShe ignored a pang of loneliness, loss\u2014she didn't know what it was. She wanted all three of her sisters and all of her friends to be happy and knew they wanted the same for her. Except she wasn't happy, she realized. Not romantically, anyway.\n\n\"What you are is discombobulated because the father of your sons is living in a damn tent.\"\n\nMuttering to herself couldn't be a good sign of anything, she thought as she headed into Olivia's kitchen. There was no sign of Buster. She assumed Noah had also let Brandon know he was leaving. She'd run into a couple of Sloans yesterday when she'd stopped at Dylan's place and tried to surreptitiously check out Brandon's tent, telling herself she just wanted to see where the boys would be camping. Sloan & Sons was working hard on carrying out the plans for the property. Brandon's uncle and his eldest brother had caught her peering into the tent and teased her. She'd found their underlying assumption that she and Brandon would get back together both annoying and comforting.\n\nThat kind of ambivalence couldn't last, she knew. She needed clarity in her life. Tyler and Aidan needed it, too.\n\nShe heard laughter and went into the mudroom, debated a moment before she stepped outside onto the terrace. It was a stunning morning, clear and dry, the sun shining on Olivia's flowers and herbs. Tyler and Aidan were charging up a path, laughing. Brandon ambled behind them with Buster on a leash.\n\nMaggie felt a jolt of awareness as her husband approached the terrace. He hadn't shaved, wore a black flannel shirt over jeans. She noticed the shape of his shoulders, his hips, his legs as he unclipped Buster's leash and warned him to stay out of the gardens. She blamed overwork and her sleepless night for her reaction and quickly looked away, although not before she saw Brandon grin. He'd noticed.\n\nOf course he had. Bastard.\n\nShe smiled at Tyler and Aidan as they jumped onto the terrace. \"Have you guys had breakfast?\"\n\n\"Cereal,\" Aidan said. \"I wanted pancakes.\"\n\n\"I bet I can find the ingredients for pancakes,\" Maggie said. \"I know Olivia has a griddle and maple syrup.\"\n\nTyler obviously liked that. \"Can we have blueberry pancakes?\"\n\n\"I don't know if there are blueberries\u2014\"\n\n\"We picked some with Dad,\" Aidan said.\n\nShe hadn't noticed the small covered plastic container that Brandon had in one hand. He set it on the table. \"Should be enough for pancakes.\"\n\nIt was what they'd done every summer since they were teenagers. Picked wild blueberries together. Made pancakes. Maggie fought back tears and grabbed the container. \"Why don't you guys burn off some energy out here and I'll see what I can do?\"\n\n\"Do you need any help?\" Tyler asked.\n\nHe was her budding chef, but she shook her head. \"You're on vacation today.\"\n\nShe returned to the kitchen. She'd catered a number of events for The Farm at Carriage Hill already and knew her way around the kitchen well. She quickly got out a pottery mixing bowl, measuring cups, measuring spoons and ingredients\u2014stone-ground cornmeal, baking powder, baking soda, salt, canola oil, buttermilk.\n\nBrandon came inside and dug out the electric griddle. Maggie tried not to think about how familiar it felt to have him there, working in the kitchen with her while the boys played outside. Familiarity was an illusion. They had gone their separate ways months ago.\n\n\"Noah's gone back to California,\" Brandon said.\n\n\"I know. He left me a message.\"\n\n\"We talked some about Dylan's plans to get into adventure travel. I could almost see the wheels turning in Noah's brain. Guy's smart. Always thinking.\"\n\n\"Does he want to get into adventure travel, too?\" Maggie asked, surprised.\n\nBrandon shook his head. \"No, but he thinks I should. He figured out I have a touch of wanderlust.\"\n\n\"More than a touch,\" Maggie said. \"You'd be good at adventure travel, Brandon. Do you think you'll talk to Dylan about it?\"\n\n\"I don't know.\"\n\nShe whisked together the dry ingredients for the pancakes. \"It'd be okay with me if you do. I'd like that. I never wanted you to give up your dreams. I just...\" She set aside the bowl and lifted the strainer of blueberries out of the sink. \"I was scared.\"\n\nBrandon opened his hand an inch above the griddle, testing the heat. \"I was in a dark place last year. Took it out on you.\"\n\n\"No, you didn't.\" Maggie dumped the blueberries onto paper towels. \"You took it out on yourself, and I reacted. I let my fear of going broke and all that went with it infect everything. What I did, how I felt, how I thought.\"\n\n\"My lack of faith in my future\u2014our future\u2014affected you. I didn't see that. I was caught up in my own stuff.\" He pulled his hand from the heat and turned to her, his eyes dark, filled with pain. \"I was out of work and I let pride get in the way of making good decisions. I didn't do right by you, Maggie.\"\n\nShe patted the blueberries dry, grateful that she had something to do. \"I don't want you coming back to Knights Bridge and working for your family just for me.\"\n\n\"There's no better reason, is there? Come on. Let's get these boys fed.\"\n\nMaggie mixed the dry and wet ingredients, and Brandon dropped the pancake batter onto the hot griddle while she sprinkled on a handful of the freshly picked blueberries. While they waited for the bottoms to brown, he leaned against the counter, holding a spatula. \"What are you going to do with your best friend marrying a multimillionaire and your sister marrying a billionaire?\"\n\nMaggie took a breath. What would she do? She scooped up another handful of berries. \"You're jumping the gun with Phoebe and Noah.\"\n\n\"Nope.\"\n\nIn spite of her concern for her sister and her emotional state\u2014the risks of getting involved with a man as complicated and intense as Noah\u2014Maggie liked hearing the confidence in Brandon's voice. She watched him flip the pancakes, smelled the sweetness of the heated, softened blueberries.\n\n\"What's on your mind, Maggie?\" he asked.\n\n\"Phoebe and Noah...I don't want him to break her heart.\"\n\nBrandon leveled a steady gaze on her. \"What if she breaks his heart?\"\n\nMaggie opened a jar of maple syrup that her mother had made in the spring from her own trees. Was he talking about Phoebe and Noah, or about himself and her? She didn't want to read too much into his words. Being physically close to him had her in a mess.\n\n\"Noah's the one who left Knights Bridge,\" she said. \"Phoebe's still here.\"\n\n\"Maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe Phoebe's got to give a little, too. See the possibilities.\"\n\n\"They've only known each other a few days.\"\n\n\"Instead of all their lives?\"\n\nBefore Maggie could respond, he grabbed a platter and flipped the pancakes onto it, then dropped more batter onto the griddle. She added the wild blueberries, wondering if he was right about Phoebe. About her. About them.\n\nHe went to the mudroom and called out the back door for the boys to come in for the pancakes. \"Get them while they're hot.\"\n\nMaggie watched him return to the griddle, wink at her as he picked up his spatula, and she realized she was in danger of falling in love with him all over again.\n\n* * *\n\nPhoebe worked in her backyard when she got home from the library. Pruning, weeding, checking for insect damage. It was a beautiful evening, and she appreciated having time to herself.\n\nNeeded time to herself.\n\nAfter her sisters had left that morning, she'd checked with the library's part-time custodian, a retired machinist and avid reader, but he didn't know a thing about any hidden room. His predecessor hadn't mentioned it. He'd died last year. Phoebe remembered him as a solid, unimaginative man. He could have cleaned the hidden room periodically and not thought twice about it.\n\nShe went back inside. She'd stacked up the books that she and Noah had knocked over. Her skin burned when she thought of sitting on the table with her dress half off.\n\nWhat was he doing now in San Diego?\n\nShe grabbed a Diet Coke out of her refrigerator and put the cold bottle against her cheek. She sat at the table. It stood to reason that someone who'd created a hidden room in a library would like to read. Seventy years ago, Grace Webster had buried herself in classic adventure tales while her world disappeared around her, literally scraped, burned, razed and carried off. She'd read The Three Musketeers, Scaramouche, The Scarlet Pimpernel.\n\nPhoebe wondered if Mary Stewart, Victoria Holt and Helen MacInnes had fired the imagination of her seamstress, diverted her on a bad day, entertained her on a good day.\n\nMaybe she'd collected the books for someone else or just hadn't gotten around to reading them.\n\nWho was she?\n\nAs Phoebe fingered one of the sewing books, she couldn't shake the feeling she'd had when she'd first discovered the attic room\u2014that somehow the woman who'd sewn there, dreamed there, had felt trapped by life in Knights Bridge.\n\nHad she abandoned the life\u2014escaped the life\u2014Phoebe was now living?\n\nShe gave an inward groan. So what if her mystery seamstress had hated Knights Bridge? Phoebe didn't. She loved her work. She loved her cottage. She loved her family and friends, being close to them, connected to her childhood.\n\nShe was just on edge and overthinking everything because of what had happened between her and Noah. She never should have let herself get so carried away with him. What had she been thinking?\n\nShe hadn't been thinking, obviously.\n\nOnce again she opened the yellowed copy of Le Petit Prince, its pages brittle with age.\n\nLorsque j'avais six ans j'ai vu, une fois, une magnifique image, dans un livre sur la For\u00eat Vierge qui s'appelait \"Histoires V\u00e9cues.\"\n\nCould her unknown seamstress have taken off to France? Phoebe flipped through the Antoine de Saint-Exup\u00e9ry novel. She didn't know what she hoped to find. An old letter tucked in the pages? A signature?\n\nShe opened her Diet Coke and methodically checked each of the books, looking for anything that could offer answers, even a clue that would point her in the right direction.\n\nThere was nothing.\n\nHad her mystery woman sat here, in this spot, listening to the crickets on a pleasant summer evening?\n\nShe heard a knock on her front door. \"Phoebe?\" It was her mother's voice. \"Can I come in?\"\n\n\"Of course,\" Phoebe said.\n\nShe started to get up but her mother was already through the living room. \"I worked late and thought I'd stop by,\" she said, getting a glass down and filling it with water from the tap. \"You don't mind, do you?\"\n\nPhoebe shook her head. \"It's water, Mom. Do you want anything else?\"\n\n\"No, this is fine.\"\n\nShe had on her work clothes, a flowered tunic over wide-legged white linen pants with neutral-colored slides. Phoebe had changed into shorts for her gardening. \"Mom?\"\n\nShe drank some of her water, then set her glass on the counter and walked over to the table. She patted the top book on the pile. \"The Vogue Sewing Book. My mother had a copy. She taught me to sew. I was never any good at it, but she did her best. I was always more interested in gardening and boys. My best subject in school was math. Isn't that funny? It didn't translate into being good with money, obviously.\"\n\n\"You've always managed to get by,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"Barely.\" She tapped a finger on the front cover of the sewing book. \"Ava and Ruby told me about their visit to the library this morning. They said you gave them permission to tell me about the attic room.\"\n\n\"Did you know about it?\"\n\n\"No. I've only been in the attic once. A friend and I went up there in search of ghosts. We were in junior high...\" She sank into a chair, clearing her throat before she continued. \"We took French together. My friend was good at it but I just couldn't get the hang of it. There was a young woman who worked at the library who was fluent in French. She offered to tutor me.\"\n\nPhoebe stared at her mother. \"What was her name?\"\n\n\"Debbie Sanderson.\"\n\n\"Sanderson?\"\n\n\"She said she was George Sanderson's great-great-granddaughter but none of us ever believed her. She was here such a short time. It's been forty years, Phoebe. I was just a kid myself.\"\n\n\"What was her job at the library?\"\n\n\"I don't really know. An assistant, I think. She wasn't a librarian. I know that much. There was a bigger staff in those days.\"\n\n\"Four people instead of two,\" Phoebe said with a smile. \"How long was she here, do you know?\"\n\n\"It couldn't have been more than two years. She tutored me for half the school year. She didn't want any money, but my parents insisted on paying her.\"\n\n\"Did it work? Did you pass French?\"\n\n\"I most certainly did pass.\"\n\nAs she watched her mother pick up the copy of Le Petit Prince, Phoebe envisioned Elly O'Dunn\u2014then Elly Macintosh\u2014at twelve, conjugating French verbs. \"What was Debbie Sanderson like?\"\n\n\"She never wanted to be a librarian, but she had a fantastic imagination and loved to read. She loved to dress up in exotic clothes and speak French to us, and she loved movies, gothic novels and poetry.\"\n\n\"Poetry?\" That caught Phoebe by surprise since she hadn't discovered any poetry books in the box.\n\n\"That's right. I remember because...\" Elly set Le Petit Prince back on the table. \"Oh, Phoebe. I haven't thought about Debbie Sanderson in such a long time.\"\n\n\"Mom, you're about to cry. We don't have to talk about her\u2014\"\n\n\"It's okay. It's not that. I just tend not to let myself go back too far into the past. I didn't know your father yet when Debbie was tutoring me. He had just moved here. It wasn't long after he got back from Vietnam. He'd put enough money together to buy a few acres and was building his shed. He was a recluse, really.\"\n\nPhoebe pictured her father roaring with laughter when she and Maggie had told him about getting the better of the Sloan boys at the pond at the Frosts' sawmill. Ava and Ruby had been toddlers at the time, and he'd had them bouncing on his lap.\n\n\"He never liked being around a lot of people,\" Phoebe said. \"But he didn't stay a recluse.\"\n\nHer mother nodded, then said quietly, \"Because of Debbie.\"\n\n\"Did they\u2014were they an item, anything like that?\"\n\n\"It wasn't like that. He stopped at the library for a do-it-yourself book on plumbing, and she was there. She introduced him to poetry. He couldn't concentrate on a novel back then, but he could read a poem. He especially loved Robert Penn Warren's poetry.\"\n\n\"I remember,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"He went on to reading novels. Robert Parker, Tom Clancy, Ross McDonald. He had so many favorites, but he continued to read poetry, too.\" She blinked back tears. \"He was a wonderful man, Phoebe. I had him\u2014we had him\u2014for the time we did because of Debbie Sanderson and the library. They helped him heal. They saved his life. There's no question in my mind.\"\n\nPhoebe felt her throat tighten with emotion. \"Do you know why Debbie came to Knights Bridge?\"\n\n\"She chose it because of her great-great-grandfather, but I think she came here to heal, too. I didn't realize she liked to sew as much as she must have, or that she was so good at it that she could copy Hollywood dresses. I knew very little about her. Just what I've told you.\"\n\n\"Did she say goodbye when she left town?\" Phoebe glanced around her small kitchen, wondered if it'd been much the same forty years ago. \"Did anyone notice she was gone?\"\n\nWhen her mother looked away, focused on the darkening night out the window by the table, Phoebe could see a glimpse of Elly Macintosh O'Dunn at twelve. \"It was summer,\" her mother said. \"I didn't even realize Debbie had left until I started school in September. I should have taken more of an interest. She was invisible, in a way.\"\n\n\"Mom, you were twelve.\"\n\n\"When I think back, I realize how young she was, too. Maybe twenty-one. She was such a dreamer. I could see it when she tutored me. She wanted a life that Knights Bridge couldn't give her.\"\n\n\"And all Dad wanted was Knights Bridge,\" Phoebe said quietly. \"He read poetry to us as kids.\"\n\n\"Poetry helped him cope with his experience in combat,\" her mother said. \"He didn't have a long life but he lived longer than many of the young men he served with. He took each day as it came and lived in the moment. Maybe that meant he wasn't as good with money and planning as some.\"\n\n\"But we have the land because of him.\"\n\nHer mother turned from the window. \"I have a good life, Phoebe. I like my job. It gets me out every day. What would I have done with a big insurance policy?\" She smiled, a spark coming back into her eyes. \"Blown it on horses instead of making do with goats.\"\n\nPhoebe smiled, too. \"Now the goats are coming in handy with Maggie and Olivia's soap making.\"\n\n\"Who'd have ever thought?\" Her mother laughed, but her lightheartedness didn't last. She leaned forward, took Phoebe's hand. \"Honey, I know you've helped me and I appreciate all you do, but I don't want you to worry about me. I don't want you not to live your life\u2014to feel tied to Knights Bridge\u2014because of me.\"\n\n\"I've never felt tied to Knights Bridge because of you or anyone else,\" Phoebe said. \"I like my life.\"\n\nHer mother didn't seem to hear her. \"Change is a part of life. Even if I knew deep down it was a delusion, I thought I'd grow old with your father. Instead I became a young widow with four teenage daughters. You have a big heart, Phoebe. Sometimes you ignore it so that you can be quote-unquote sensible. Don't ignore it now, okay? Not because you're worried about me, or your sisters. Open up your world if that's where your heart takes you.\"\n\nPhoebe shot to her feet, uncomfortable. She and her mother seldom had deep conversations and she didn't know what to make of this one.\n\n\"You have things to do,\" her mother said, rising. \"And I have more tomatoes to can tonight. I might turn them into sauce. I'll decide on the way home.\"\n\n\"Thanks, Mom,\" Phoebe said as she followed her through the living room. \"Thanks for stopping by.\"\n\n\"Phoebe...\"\n\n\"I'll be fine. Don't you worry about me, either, okay?\"\n\n\"I'm your mother. It's my job to worry.\" She laughed, and became her bouncy self again as she left.\n\nPhoebe returned to the kitchen and threw out the rest of her Diet Coke. She poured the last of a bottle of pinot grigio, took it out to the front porch and sat on the steps. So much for not drinking alone. It was quiet on Thistle Lane, but it always was. She sipped her chilled wine and smelled roses in the night air. A half moon created shadows that stirred in a gentle breeze.\n\nShe'd brought her cell phone out with her and stared at it in her palm. She had Noah's number memorized. That was a clue to her feelings, wasn't it? She debated just texting him but instead dialed the number.\n\nHe picked up right away. \"Phoebe.\"\n\nHis voice was calm, deep and made her heartbeat quicken. \"Hi. I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time\u2014\"\n\n\"Not possible.\"\n\nShe smiled and told him about Debbie Sanderson, her mother's French lessons, her father's poetry. He didn't interrupt. She could feel him listening to every word she said. She told him she'd brought her sisters up to the attic room that morning but didn't mention their questions about him.\n\nHe asked about the fashion show and what she was doing, where she was right now.\n\n\"It's a beautiful night,\" she said. \"It's nice after the heat.\"\n\n\"Helps since you have no air-conditioning.\"\n\n\"I only wish I had it a few nights a year. I have fans. I put one at the foot of my bed and...\" Phoebe stopped herself. \"I manage.\"\n\nNoah was silent, and she wondered if he was picturing her lying on her bed in next to nothing, or nothing at all, with a fan on her.\n\n\"Tell me about San Diego,\" she said.\n\n\"It's warm, sunny and not humid.\" He paused, and she could feel his smile. \"The same.\"\n\n\"Have you been to your office?\"\n\n\"Yes. I had pencils to sharpen.\"\n\nShe laughed. \"I love a good pencil.\"\n\n\"So do I, techie that I am. I'm meeting Loretta Wrentham tomorrow. She's getting Julius Hartley down here.\"\n\n\"I hope you get to the bottom of what he's up to.\"\n\n\"I'm sure we will,\" Noah said. \"Tell me again about Debbie Sanderson and her time in Knights Bridge.\"\nNineteen\n\nLoretta paced on Dylan's porch while she waited for Julius Hartley to park his BMW and join her. She could smell the ocean and taste it on the breeze, but she didn't care. That told her just how keyed up she was. She loved the ocean, the sand, the rocks, the birds, the colors of sky and water. Watching Navy SEALs run on the beach wasn't bad, either. She lived in La Jolla but she enjoyed coming out to Coronado.\n\nJust not today.\n\nDylan had disappeared with Olivia, saying something about stuffed giraffes from the zoo for kids back in Knights Bridge. Loretta knew what that meant: she was on her own. She'd helped make this mess with Hartley by trusting him, by not realizing sooner that he was Noah's mystery man.\n\nNow she could clean it up.\n\nNoah was back in San Diego, on his way to Coronado. He and Dylan would have already talked. She didn't know that for sure, but it was how the two of them operated. It was how it had always been and always would be. Friendships like theirs were rare. She'd seen that the first time she'd met them. Dylan and Noah had each other's backs. Dylan had a woman in his life now who understood that. Loretta didn't know if Noah ever would.\n\nShe watched Hartley mount the steps to the porch. He had on an expensive pale blue polo shirt and dark tan trousers, and he looked more like a country-club type than a scumbag private investigator. She'd dressed in a crisp black suit with her red heels and hoped she looked like she not only wanted to kick him down the stairs but could do it.\n\nHe smiled at her, no sign he knew how mad she was. \"Hi, Loretta. Nice day, isn't it?\"\n\n\"It's Southern California. It's always nice.\" She let him get onto the porch before she glared at him. \"You took it upon yourself to snoop on Dylan McCaffrey and especially Noah Kendrick. You snooped on a little rural town in New England.\"\n\n\"Yeah. Sure. It's what I do.\"\n\nShe pointed a red-nailed finger at him. \"You're a son of a bitch, Hartley.\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"Okay.\"\n\n\"Who were you on the phone with on Friday when Phoebe O'Dunn overheard you?\"\n\n\"It doesn't matter.\"\n\n\"It does matter.\" She paused to catch her breath. He was as roguishly good-looking up close, out of the sunlight. She reminded herself to stay focused. The man couldn't be trusted. \"Was it your client? Are you working for an attorney, or is this one of your private clients?\"\n\nHe turned and faced the water. \"This is nice. McCaffrey's giving up this place for Knights Bridge, huh?\"\n\n\"For Olivia Frost, and I don't know that he's giving it up. He hasn't asked me to look into putting it onto the market. Not that he will.\" Loretta gritted her teeth. \"I'll probably be banished from Noah's and Dylan's sight before cocktail hour tonight, thanks to you.\"\n\n\"That's some drama going there.\" Hartley gave her a sideways glance. \"Am I supposed to\u2014what? Feel guilty?\"\n\n\"You're supposed to tell the truth. I can't believe I didn't see through you sooner, but I just didn't take you for a snake.\"\n\n\"That's because I'm not a snake.\" He grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. \"Well, I'm not always a snake. I can be when the situation calls for some slithering. I tried to be discreet with my scrutiny of Dylan and Noah, if that helps any.\"\n\nLoretta shook her head. \"It doesn't.\"\n\n\"It was easier in Boston. Any stranger would stand out in Sleepy Hollow, but I really did. I had this thing in my head that I was looking into rich guys and should therefore try to blend in with them.\"\n\n\"Should have left the Rolex at home, huh?\"\n\n\"I'm just saying that I can see how people thought I was sneaking around.\"\n\n\"You were sneaking around,\" Loretta said.\n\n\"If I'd been sneaking around, no one would have ever known.\" His dark eyes narrowed on her. No smile or hint of humor now. \"Trust me on that, Loretta.\"\n\n\"Am I supposed to be intimidated?\"\n\nHe surprised her by laughing. \"Damn, you're a pain in the ass. I wanted to know what was going on with your two pals and this Sleepy Hollow little town in Massachusetts. That's all.\"\n\n\"That's not all, and Dylan and Noah can take care of themselves.\" Loretta squinted out at the ocean, added without looking at him, \"Are you providing intel to NAK corporate enemies?\"\n\n\"Let's not play twenty questions, Loretta.\"\n\nShe ignored him. \"The NAK board? Do Noah and Dylan have personal enemies I don't know about?\"\n\nA breeze off the water lifted the ends of Hartley's gray-streaked dark hair but he didn't seem to notice. \"Noah needs to decide what's next for him. It's driving the NAK board crazy not to know if he's going to try to run things there or open a fencing studio. But he knows that. You know that.\"\n\nLoretta tightened her hands into fists at her sides. \"You spied on my friends and you used me to do it.\"\n\n\"No one uses you, Loretta. I outwitted you. There's a difference.\"\n\nShe raised her chin at him. Not all men were taller than she was. \"I'm going to find out what you're really up to.\"\n\nHe didn't seem that threatened. \"You understand I have to respect attorney-client privilege.\"\n\n\"You're not an attorney. You're a sleazy private investigator.\"\n\n\"Part right. I'm a private investigator. I'm not sleazy. Which you know. You're just irritated because you're not in control of what's going on. You haven't been since Duncan McCaffrey left Dylan that house in Knights Bridge and you didn't know the whole story.\" Hartley had some sympathy in his expression now. \"You didn't know Dylan would go out there and fall for Olivia Frost.\"\n\n\"I'm glad he did,\" Loretta said stubbornly.\n\n\"You're glad he has someone in his life. You wish it was a woman from La Jolla instead of an out-of-the-way little town on the other side of the country. Now Noah's falling for this redheaded librarian.\" Hartley's sympathy turned to a knowing grin. \"I can just see you at the Knights Bridge Free Public Library. It's haunted, you know.\"\n\nOf course it was haunted. Loretta forced her palms open, tried to release some of her pent-up tension as Hartley pivoted and walked back down the steps without another word.\n\nShe inhaled deeply. She'd never been good with men.\n\nShe called to him. \"Do you like Mexican food?\"\n\nHe glanced up at her. \"I hate it.\"\n\n\"I love it.\" She followed him down to the sidewalk. \"There's a great place down the street. You can have a salad. Let's go. We can walk.\"\n\n\"You're the most difficult woman I've ever met. I think that's why I like you.\" He angled her a knowing look. \"Is Kendrick meeting us at this restaurant?\"\n\nLoretta didn't bother hiding her surprise.\n\n\"This one wasn't even hard to figure out,\" Hartley said with a bark of a laugh. \"You'd have had me meet you in La Jolla at your office if you weren't involving Dylan and Noah.\"\n\n\"Mr. McCaffrey and Mr. Kendrick to you,\" she said, sounding petty even to herself.\n\n\"Sure thing, Loretta. I have a son their age. He probably wants me to call him Mister, too.\"\n\n\"A son?\"\n\nHe grinned at her. \"Relax. I'm divorced.\"\n\nShe didn't relax but she didn't want to kill him as much as she had twenty minutes ago. They walked to a cluster of shops and restaurants, and for seconds\u2014or maybe only one second\u2014she pictured them as one of the honeymooning couples at the Hotel del Coronado. She'd never been married. Never had kids. Dylan's engagement had her thinking about what might have been, even if she had a good life, even if she had no regrets.\n\nNo serious regrets, anyway.\n\nThey got a table in the courtyard of the bustling restaurant. Loretta ordered a margarita and guacamole made fresh at the table. Hartley ordered a beer.\n\nShe dipped a warm tortilla chip into chunky, spicy salsa. \"You're going to tell Noah and me everything.\"\n\n\"No, I'm not. You know better than to ask.\"\n\n\"Then you are working for an attorney.\"\n\n\"I'm not saying.\"\n\n\"Why did you come if you're going to stonewall?\"\n\nHis beer arrived. \"Because you asked nicely.\"\n\nShe hadn't, but whatever. \"What did you think of Knights Bridge?\"\n\n\"I suffered. Goats, Loretta.\" He drank some of his beer, helped himself to a chip and salsa. \"Olivia Frost and the O'Dunn sisters are making soap out of the goat's milk.\"\n\n\"Goat's milk soap is nice.\"\n\n\"I'm sure it is.\"\n\n\"Hartley...\"\n\n\"Julius, okay?\"\n\nLoretta helped herself to another chip. \"Julius, did you check out the goats?\"\n\n\"Almost. I pretended I was going to buy one.\"\n\n\"And they bought that?\"\n\n\"No.\" His tone was matter-of-fact. \"The O'Dunns and their allies were about to get out the hot tar and pitchforks, so I made my exit. They're little goats, by the way. Nigerian Dwarf goats.\"\n\nLoretta felt laughter bubbling up despite how mad she was. \"Have you ever seen a goat in real life?\"\n\n\"The zoo.\" He sat back, looking at ease, comfortable in his own skin. \"Then there are the herbs for the soaps. The nineteenth-century library. The town common with its Civil War statue. The country store.\"\n\n\"It sounds idyllic.\"\n\n\"It's pretty,\" Hartley said, making it sound like a concession.\n\n\"Dylan says not to be fooled,\" Loretta said. \"Despite any evidence to the contrary, time hasn't stopped in Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"Time never stops, does it?\"\n\nLoretta heard a note of wistfulness in Julius's voice, or thought she did. Maybe she was projecting. Maybe that was why she hadn't figured out what was going on with him to begin with. She'd wanted him to be someone he wasn't because she herself was coming to terms with the changes in her life. She'd been Dylan's attorney and business manager for a long time. She'd loved his father, even if for a short time.\n\n\"I'll have to see Knights Bridge myself soon,\" she said, digging into the fresh salsa. \"Dylan and Olivia have invited me to their wedding.\"\n\n\"It's at Christmas, you know.\"\n\nShe nodded. \"So I get to go there when it's freezing. I'll have to find myself a cute country inn with a fireplace, flowered wallpaper and a decent liquor cabinet.\"\n\nTheir waiter whipped together their guacamole and set it on the table with fresh, warm chips. Julius helped himself. Their table was pleasant, shaded by potted trees. Deep pink bougainvillea cascaded over a wall.\n\nFinally he said, \"Dylan and Noah are decent guys.\"\n\n\"Yes, I know.\"\n\n\"They're independent. Defiant, even. They do things their own way.\"\n\n\"What's Phoebe O'Dunn like?\" Loretta asked.\n\n\"From what I saw and heard, she's smart, positive, encouraging and genuinely nice.\"\n\n\"And?\"\n\n\"And protective of her family. She looks out for them.\"\n\n\"Who looks out for her?\"\n\n\"She'd say they look out for each other. Maybe they do, but she's stuck there.\"\n\n\"Maybe your idea of 'stuck' is her idea of fulfilling herself.\"\n\n\"That was before Noah Kendrick spotted her at that masquerade ball. Getting involved with a billionaire...\" Julius shrugged. \"Easier to fall for one of the local firefighters but she hasn't. She'll sacrifice herself if she thinks her family needs her. She's done it before.\"\n\nBefore Loretta could ask more questions, Noah arrived and joined them at their table. He was centered, focused and clearly on a mission. He was a man, she knew, who did best when he had a purpose, a result he was going after. Aimlessness didn't suit him.\n\nJulius picked up his beer, took another deliberate sip. \"How's Sleepy Hollow and your librarian? Same as ever?\"\n\nNoah leveled a cool gaze on him. \"Phoebe is getting ready for the vintage fashion show at the library. You know about that, right, Julius?\"\n\n\"I saw something about it when I was in Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"You knew about the fashion show before you arrived there. It's what prompted you to check me out in the first place.\"\n\nLoretta frowned and noticed that Julius had gone silent. She glanced at Noah, but his gaze was fixed on the older man across from him.\n\nNoah reached for his water glass. \"It was logical to assume that I was the one who brought you to Knights Bridge, but it's not that simple.\" He sat back, as in control as Loretta had ever seen him. \"You knew that Dylan and his work with NAK, his friendship with me, could bring scrutiny to Knights Bridge. Could change things there. You figured out Phoebe must have discovered the hidden room where your client sewed and designed dresses as a young woman.\"\n\nLoretta held on tight to her margarita. Olivia and Dylan had told her about the hidden sewing room in the Knights Bridge library attic. She'd figured that sort of thing happened in small-town New England. She'd liked the idea of the Hollywood-inspired dresses. She hadn't considered\u2014not even for a split-second\u2014that they had anything to do with Julius Hartley.\n\n\"That hidden room,\" Noah said, \"is why you checked me out here in San Diego and why you followed me to Boston. It's why you went to Knights Bridge. You weren't just checking on me there. You were checking on the O'Dunns. Specifically, on Phoebe.\"\n\n\"It didn't take long. She's what we call an open book.\" Hartley smiled, added, \"No pun intended.\"\n\n\"Debbie Sanderson is the given name of the woman who created the hidden room.\" Noah kept his eyes on the man across the table. \"She lived in Knights Bridge for a year. Then she took off for Hollywood and reinvented herself.\"\n\n\"Are you speculating, or do you have facts to back up this claim?\" Julius asked.\n\nNoah pointed his water at him. \"You're protecting Debbie Sanderson's new identity.\"\n\nJulius sighed. \"You MIT types are just so damn smart, aren't you?\"\n\nLoretta let all the pieces fall into place in her own mind. She set her margarita on the table and looked at Julius. \"What did she have you do, watch for Knights Bridge in the news?\"\n\n\"She does that herself,\" he said. \"She saw a gossip piece saying that Dylan was engaged to a graphic designer from Knights Bridge. She read about his hockey years, his treasure-hunter father, his best friend the billionaire founder of NAK.\"\n\n\"Did she have you investigate, or did you volunteer?\" Loretta asked.\n\n\"She's a very special lady.\"\n\nMeaning he'd volunteered, Loretta thought.\n\n\"I'm the one who told her about the fashion show,\" Julius said. \"She knew it meant her room had been discovered. With you and Dylan in the picture, I had to investigate.\"\n\n\"What's her name now?\" Noah asked quietly.\n\nHartley didn't answer.\n\nNoah leaned forward. \"It's Daphne Stewart, isn't it?\"\n\nJulius looked uncomfortable but said nothing, and Loretta decided to give up on her margarita. She frowned at the two men. \"Who's Daphne Stewart?\"\n\n\"She's a highly respected independent costume designer in Hollywood,\" Noah said, his eyes still on Julius. \"She's worked on any number of movies. Daphne Stewart is the name she gave herself after she left Knights Bridge forty years ago and headed west.\"\n\n\"She guards her privacy.\" Julius suddenly wasn't as cocky. \"You of all people can understand that.\"\n\nNoah's expression softened. \"I won't intrude on her privacy. Neither will Dylan. Is she a friend?\"\n\n\"She's become one, yes. She's a client with a law firm I do a lot of work for. She's got a keen sense of drama. She likes knowing a private investigator.\" Julius seemed slightly less shaken by Noah's knowledge. \"What about Olivia and Phoebe O'Dunn and her family?\"\n\n\"What do you think?\" Noah asked, his tone as steady and controlled as ever. \"Do you think they want to intrude on Miss Stewart's privacy?\"\n\nJulius sighed. \"I've already told her that it's my judgment that they don't and her privacy and anonymity are safe if that's what she wants. Is Phoebe using any of Daphne's dresses in the show?\"\n\n\"I spoke to her a little while ago,\" Noah said. \"The library will only use the dresses with Miss Stewart's permission, now that she knows her identity. Even if the library can claim the contents of the sewing room she created, they won't. Miss Stewart is free to reclaim anything she left behind.\"\n\nLoretta shifted her attention from Julius to Noah. \"Have you seen this secret sewing room?\" she asked.\n\nNoah nodded. \"It's just as Miss Stewart left it at twenty-one.\" He steadied his gaze again on Julius. \"Please let her know that the people of Knights Bridge would welcome her anytime she'd like to return.\"\n\nJulius raised an eyebrow. \"Phoebe told you that?\"\n\nNoah didn't hesitate. \"Yes.\"\n\nLoretta sat forward. \"Is she here in San Diego?\"\n\n\"Not now, no,\" Noah said, his tone unreadable.\n\n\"Phoebe figured out that Debbie Sanderson and Daphne Stewart are one and the same?\" Julius asked.\n\n\"With the help of her sisters.\" Noah drank more of his water before he continued. \"Miss Stewart left a number of books behind in the house she rented while she lived in Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"Phoebe's house now,\" Julius added.\n\n\"That's right. Rebecca, The Moonspinners.\"\n\n\"Daphne du Maurier and Mary Stewart,\" Loretta said. \"Daphne Stewart.\"\n\nNoah smiled for the first time. \"Exactly. Phoebe and her sisters figured out that the Debbie Sanderson who worked at the Knights Bridge library forty years ago and sewed dresses secretly in the attic had to be Daphne Stewart of Hollywood.\"\n\n\"I'll be damned.\" Loretta grinned. \"I read Daphne du Maurier and Mary Stewart as a kid. I love their books.\"\n\n* * *\n\nNoah looked out at the San Diego skyline from his corner office suite at NAK, the company he'd founded, built and taken public. He'd had the kernel of the idea for it at twelve. It had grown from there, so that now NAK was a leader in the convergence of technology and entertainment. It was an exciting company, with people clamoring to work there.\n\n\"We did a good job,\" he said, knowing that Dylan had entered the office.\n\n\"You did.\" Dylan joined Noah at the windows. \"I just helped you so that you could put your skills to their best use.\"\n\n\"You had my back. Who has yours, Dylan?\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"You do. You tapped on my car window four years ago. Where would I be if you hadn't?\"\n\n\"You'd have figured something out. You could have gotten into adventure travel with your father, or gone on treasure hunts with him, instead of keeping the jerks at bay so that I could do my thing. Now your father's gone\u2014\"\n\nDylan interrupted him. \"Noah, my father and I had our chances to do things together. I have a chance now to fulfill some of his dreams, the dreams we shared. Think I'd have that if I hadn't thrown in with you and made all this money?\"\n\nNoah smiled. \"That is one way of putting it.\"\n\nDylan looked out at the city they both loved. \"Olivia's family and friends in Knights Bridge watch out for her. She didn't know that at first. When her friend in Boston betrayed her and she moved back home, she let her pride get in her way. Now she knows.\"\n\n\"She'll do anything for her family and friends, and they'll do anything for her.\"\n\nDylan glanced sideways at Noah. \"It's that way with the O'Dunn sisters, too.\"\n\nNoah watched a U.S. Navy ship far out on the Pacific, just a gray blip on the blue water. \"Phoebe doesn't realize that it's not just her protecting her family and friends. They're protecting her, too.\"\n\n\"Maybe too much so,\" Dylan said.\n\n\"They think what she wants is to live alone in her little house on Thistle Lane for the rest of her life.\"\n\n\"What if it is what she wants?\"\n\nNoah didn't take his eyes off the ship. \"They don't want to see her heart broken again, so they tell themselves she's given up on love.\"\n\nDylan was silent a moment. Then he blew out a breath. \"Noah, you and Phoebe\u2014\"\n\nHe turned sharply away from the view and smiled at his friend. \"Never mind. I'm talking out of my hat. I'm no good at figuring out people. I'm just glad we figured out that Julius Hartley was protecting Daphne Stewart and had no particular bone to pick with either of us.\"\n\nDylan seemed unwilling to change the subject, but finally he sighed. \"He and Loretta are going to L.A. to talk to Miss Stewart. You're going with them, aren't you?\"\n\nNoah shook his head. \"Loretta and Julius are already in L.A. You and I, Dylan my friend, are meeting them at Daphne's house in Hollywood Hills.\"\n\nDylan scratched the side of his mouth. \"We are, huh?\"\n\n\"And Olivia, too. I've already talked to her. She wants to be back home in time for the fashion show. I've arranged for a flight from L.A., after our visit.\"\n\n\"You never fail to surprise me.\"\n\n\"Likewise,\" Noah said. \"How long have you known it was Phoebe in that Edwardian dress at the charity masquerade?\"\n\n\"Olivia didn't recognize her\u2014\"\n\n\"Olivia doesn't have your objectivity or experience with people. Design and colors, yes.\" Noah followed Dylan out of the office. \"When, Dylan?\"\n\n\"When you danced with her,\" he said when they reached the hall. \"I didn't tell Olivia because she didn't ask. She didn't tell me when she found out because I didn't ask. Worked out just fine.\"\n\n\"You two have a great life together.\"\n\n\"I like how you put that. We have a great life together now. It's not just in the future.\" But Dylan's eyes were serious as he and Noah stopped at the elevators. \"Noah, I don't want you worrying about Olivia and me if you and Phoebe...if you two...\" He grimaced. \"Hell.\"\n\nNoah grinned. \"Not going to have my back with this one, are you?\"\n\n\"I don't need to. You're a smart guy. You know what you're getting into.\"\n\nAs the elevator dinged, Noah could see Phoebe's turquoise eyes, her smile, her dark strawberry hair against her creamy skin. Yes, indeed. He did know what he was getting into, but what was going on between Phoebe and him was for them to sort out on their own\u2014without Dylan McCaffrey, Olivia Frost, Phoebe's three younger sisters, her eccentric mother, her brother-in-law, the rest of the Frosts, the rest of the Sloans or the rest of Knights Bridge.\n\nThe elevator doors opened and he and Dylan got in. \"Sometimes we hold on to an image of ourselves because we're convinced it's what we're supposed to be. It's what we want, what other people want from us.\" He was hardly aware that he was speaking to Dylan. \"I was supposed to be the techie rich guy with a babe on each arm.\"\n\n\"Maybe Phoebe is just who she is, Noah.\"\n\n\"She has a great life and a great job. I don't intend to mess that up for her.\"\n\n\"From what I saw in Boston...\" Dylan paused, glanced at Noah with a smile. \"I'm not sure Phoebe O'Dunn's given up on having a man in her life as much as she wants everyone else to think.\"\n\n\"Come on. Let's go to Hollywood.\"\nTwenty\n\nPhoebe had been involved in countless library and other town events since she was a kid, but tonight she was nervous. The vintage fashion show was special. Different. Not just because it was a first for Knights Bridge but because of the hidden attic room and the woman who'd created it, and why. The lasting impact of Debbie Sanderson's brief time in Knights Bridge, on herself, on the people she'd encountered here.\n\nOn Phoebe's own family. Her mother, her father.\n\nShe slipped into the rich brown sequined Edwardian gown. She'd debated whether to wear it to host the fashion show or just to model it. Wearing it to host had won out. She'd walk to the library and meet her mother and sisters there. No word from Olivia yet, but she and Dylan had planned to be back from California in time for the show.\n\nAnd no word from Noah...\n\nPhoebe adjusted the dress. She'd skip the matching hat tonight. She wasn't trying to conceal her identity from anyone, as she had at the masquerade ball. Now that Noah was back on his home turf, did his short stay in Knights Bridge seem completely unreal to him?\n\nIt almost did to her, she realized. Tonight would help get her refocused. Then she planned to take a week off. She'd stay home, work on her garden, help Olivia and Maggie with Carriage Hill, her mother with the goats and her freezing and canning. After that, she'd be into her fall routines at the library. She couldn't wait, really.\n\nSo why do I feel out of sorts?\n\nShe made herself smile in her bedroom mirror. As host tonight, she had to be happy and cheerful.\n\nVivacious. That was the word she was looking for.\n\nShe didn't feel vivacious.\n\nShe carried her sandals by the straps in one hand and headed downstairs barefoot. No black wig, mask or heavy makeup tonight, either. She'd found instructions for an updo on the internet and managed to follow them, if imperfectly. A few wisps of hair were already out of the pins. The do just had to last a couple of hours. Maggie was catering the post-show wine and cheese party, but then she, the twins and Phoebe would meet back on Thistle Lane and celebrate with a couple of bottles of white wine already chilling in the refrigerator. Phoebe didn't know if Olivia and Dylan would join them.\n\nHow much had Noah told his best friend about his stay in Knights Bridge? How much had Dylan guessed?\n\nPhoebe shook off the question. She couldn't change what had gone on between her and Noah. She knew now that she wouldn't even if she could. Any self-consciousness, embarrassment or awkwardness she might feel had to be endured.\n\nWas worth it, she thought as she stepped out onto the porch. She didn't know what was next in their relationship but she had no regrets so far.\n\nShe set her sandals on the porch floor. The evening was warm and clear, perfect for the fashion show. She couldn't have ordered up one better. They'd have a good turnout. She looked forward to telling people how Daphne Stewart had gotten her start as a Hollywood costume designer in their town.\n\nA sleek black sedan eased to a stop on Thistle Lane. A uniformed driver stepped out, went around and opened the back door. Noah got out, and the driver returned to his position behind the wheel.\n\nAs the car turned around in Phoebe's driveway and headed back up Thistle Lane, Noah crossed the yard, his movements as smooth and purposeful as she remembered from the first time she'd seen him. He wore an obviously expensive black suit this time. No cape, no mask, no sword.\n\nPhoebe watched him, her heart hammering. Her attraction to him wasn't going away. If anything, it had deepened, becoming not just physical, not just a fleeting connection to liven up a quiet summer. She loved hearing his voice, loved talking to him, listening to him. It didn't matter that she'd known him such a short time. She'd never felt like this about anyone. Her sisters, her parents, her nephews. She loved them with all her heart, but this was different.\n\nIt's too fast. Too crazy.\n\nMaybe so, but she couldn't deny the rush of emotion as he mounted the porch steps.\n\n\"Olivia and Dylan are right behind me,\" he said. \"I wanted to see you first.\"\n\nPhoebe steadied herself. \"My sisters are at the library already. Ava and Ruby are helping Maggie set up for the party after the fashion show. I'm meeting them there.\" She realized Noah couldn't possibly care about these details but she couldn't stop herself. \"Maggie's serving a merlot from your winery. She thought that was fitting. She says it's excellent. She knows more about wine than I do.\"\n\n\"Probably more than I do, too. I bought the winery for the view.\"\n\n\"And to help a struggling friend,\" Phoebe added, then smiled. \"I read about it in an article.\"\n\nHe stepped up onto the porch and gave her one of his slight, enigmatic smiles. \"I also liked the idea of wine.\"\n\n\"That's how you operate, isn't it?\" She felt his gaze on her and remembered she was in her Edwardian dress. She ignored a tingle of awareness and continued. \"You get an idea. Then you take action.\"\n\n\"It's hard to get anything done if you just think about it.\" He touched an errant curl that had flopped from her updo onto her cheek. \"You look beautiful tonight, Phoebe. I like the dress even better with your natural hair.\"\n\n\"I'm hosting the fashion show tonight. It seemed fitting to wear this dress.\"\n\n\"It's perfect. Tonight's special in a number of ways.\"\n\n\"Yes, it is.\" She felt calmer, steadier, even as she recognized that her head was spinning at having him back in Knights Bridge. \"Thank you for being here. I haven't talked to Olivia, so I didn't know you were coming.\"\n\n\"I asked her not to say anything. Things have been happening fast.\" He glanced back at Thistle Lane, then turned to her again. \"I appreciate all you and your sisters did to help figure out what Julius Hartley wanted.\"\n\n\"You're the one who put us in touch with Daphne Stewart.\"\n\n\"Through Hartley.\"\n\nPhoebe nodded. \"It's really exciting. I knew the hidden sewing room was special but I had no idea the woman who created it ended up in Hollywood. I haven't told anyone. I've just said it's okay to use the dresses\u2014that won't give Miss Stewart away, if she wants to stay anonymous.\"\n\n\"I don't know that she does,\" Noah said quietly. \"Olivia and Dylan will be here soon. They have Loretta Wrentham and Julius Hartley with them, and a guest.\"\n\nPhoebe stood straight. \"Noah?\"\n\nHis eyes seemed so blue in the evening light. \"We met Daphne Stewart in Los Angeles. Hartley had told her about the fashion show, and how you'd discovered her old sewing room. She said she wanted to be here tonight, if it's all right with you.\"\n\n\"She's here in Knights Bridge? Noah...\"\n\n\"I'll let her explain everything.\"\n\n\"She really is George Sanderson's great-great-granddaughter, you know.\"\n\nNoah smiled, visibly more relaxed. \"George Sanderson, the intrepid founder of the Knights Bridge Free Public Library.\"\n\n\"I wonder if being here inspired her.\"\n\n\"Or maybe his ghost did.\"\n\nNoah tucked another curl back into Phoebe's pins, then stood back as Dylan's car pulled in front of her house. He and Olivia got out. She gave Phoebe a quick wave, as if to say everything would be all right. Then the sleek black sedan returned, parked behind Dylan's car.\n\nJulius Hartley emerged from the backseat while a tall, slender woman in tight black pants, a belted white top and red heels stepped out from the front passenger seat. Julius helped another woman out of the back. She was petite and elegant, with copper hair in a pixie cut. She wore a simple rust-colored dress with a teal-and-rust scarf and sparkly gold flats.\n\nThe tall woman glided up the walk to the front porch. \"I'm Loretta Wrentham,\" she said, coming up the steps. \"Phoebe, right?\"\n\nPhoebe nodded, aware of Noah standing even closer to her. \"It's nice to meet you,\" she said. \"I've heard a lot about you.\"\n\n\"I'll bet,\" Loretta said. \"Cute place. I like wicker.\"\n\n\"Me, too,\" Phoebe said with a smile.\n\nNoah frowned at Loretta. She shrugged. \"Well, I do.\"\n\nHe said nothing.\n\nThe copper-haired woman crossed the lawn with Julius Hartley at her side. Phoebe started down the porch steps. Noah took her hand and walked with her. Loretta followed them. Phoebe thought she heard the older woman sigh.\n\nThe copper-haired woman left Julius's side and went to the trellis, tears glistening in her deep green eyes as she touched a pink rose. She lowered her hand and turned to Phoebe and Noah. \"I never thought I'd ever see this place again.\"\n\nJulius cleared his throat. \"Daphne, this is Phoebe O'Dunn, director of the library here in Knights Bridge. Phoebe, this is Daphne Stewart, or, as she was known when she was living here, Debbie Sanderson.\"\n\n\"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Stewart,\" Phoebe said, aware of Noah, silent, still, next to her.\n\n\"Likewise, Phoebe, and you must call me Daphne\u2014although standing here, seeing this place...\" She smiled through unshed tears. \"I feel like Debbie Sanderson again.\"\n\nPhoebe returned her smile. \"I can imagine. I'm glad you're here.\"\n\nDaphne stood back, eyeing Phoebe with obvious emotion, then pointed. \"Your dress...\"\n\nPhoebe glanced down at the beautiful gown. \"I couldn't resist.\"\n\nDaphne laughed unexpectedly. \"That's good. Excellent, in fact. My heavens, that dress does look stunning on you.\"\n\n\"I agree,\" Noah said softly.\n\nPhoebe noticed Loretta all but roll her eyes, but Daphne continued, \"You're Patrick's daughter. I can see him in you.\" She breathed in deeply, looking at the rose trellis and the small house where she used to live. \"I have roses at my home in Hollywood Hills. It's a cute little bungalow not that different from this place. Oh, I had such big dreams when I was here.\"\n\n\"Looks as if some of them came true,\" Loretta said, her directness breaking through the nostalgic mood.\n\n\"A lot of them did,\" Daphne said.\n\nOlivia touched Dylan's arm. \"Let's take Loretta and Julius to the library and get settled. Noah, Phoebe and Daphne can meet us there.\"\n\nHartley looked reluctant but made no comment as he followed Olivia, Dylan and Loretta out to Thistle Lane. Daphne smiled, watching them. \"Julius is someone you want to have on your side,\" she said quietly.\n\n\"You're welcome to come inside and have a look around,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"Thank you but you have a show to put on.\" Daphne brushed back a few tears. \"I wasn't sure I'd even get out of the car. I'm glad I did. I'd like to walk to the library, if you don't mind.\"\n\n\"That was my plan, too.\"\n\n\"I thought it might be.\" She looked out at the shaded yard, a breeze stirring in the trees. \"I assumed someone had discovered my old sewing room years ago and given everything to Goodwill. It never occurred to me that it was still intact. I feel a little like Sleeping Beauty.\"\n\n\"It's a big attic,\" Phoebe said with a smile.\n\n\"I was surprised when Julius told me about the dresses Olivia, her friend Maggie and Noah's mysterious dance partner wore.\" Daphne brushed back a few tears. \"It's funny how things work out sometimes, isn't it? I see an article about Dylan McCaffrey and Knights Bridge, and you discover my secret sewing room. Meant to be, maybe.\"\n\n\"Maybe so.\"\n\nDaphne fingered another rose, as if remembering herself at twenty-one. \"I came to Knights Bridge because of my family's roots in the Swift River Valley. I thought it would help me to be close to my great-great-grandfather's energy, his can-do spirit. And it did, just not in all the ways I imagined. Well. Shall we go? Can you walk all right in that long skirt?\"\n\n\"Not a problem. I even danced in it.\"\n\nDaphne gave her a knowing smile. \"So I hear.\"\n\nWith a sudden burst of energy, she headed down the front walk. Phoebe glanced at Noah. \"Go,\" he said. \"I'll be right behind you.\"\n\nShe crossed the lawn and met up with Daphne Stewart. Noah stayed a few feet behind them as they started down Thistle Lane toward the library.\n\nDaphne hooked Phoebe's arm into hers. \"My father was a troubled man and as a result I had a troubled childhood. I knew I had to make a clean break. I saved up and moved to Knights Bridge.\"\n\n\"And you got a job at the library your great-great-grandfather founded,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"I always knew it wasn't permanent. I loved it, and I loved the little house I rented, that you now own.\" Daphne tightened her hold on Phoebe, as if she needed to steady herself. \"I knew that to save myself, I had to totally reinvent who I was\u2014even who I thought I was. I was invisible here, but that's what I wanted.\"\n\n\"Invisible, maybe, but not unappreciated.\"\n\nDaphne cut her a sideways look. \"Thank you for that.\"\n\n\"How did you end up creating your sewing room?\" Phoebe asked.\n\n\"I volunteered to tidy up the attic.\" Daphne's grip eased, and she sounded more at ease, more the confident, successful woman she'd become. \"I thought it'd be a good opportunity to think, perhaps to encounter a ghost or two. I cleaned out a storage room and decided to make it my own. I enjoyed sewing. I knew what I was doing with a needle and thread. My grandmother taught me the basics. Then I got books out of the library and learned more.\"\n\n\"Did you know you wanted to be a designer?\"\n\n\"I knew I didn't want to be me,\" Daphne said quietly. \"Having a secret room allowed me to take risks I otherwise might not have. Not all risks involve jumping out of airplanes and climbing tall mountains. Some involve daring to strip away the limiting beliefs about yourself and seeing what's left.\"\n\nPhoebe glanced back at Noah, knew he could hear them, but he just gave her a slight wink.\n\nDaphne lowered her arm from Phoebe's and inhaled the night air. \"I never imagined at twenty that I'd fly back here in a private jet, that much I can tell you.\" There was no hint of tears in her eyes now. \"I used to walk to the library with fabric tucked under my coat. I spent every dime I had on fabric, thread, notions. I'd haunt thrift stores for old clothes that came in that I could tear apart and use in my sewing. I followed patterns at first. Then I found myself adapting them, adding this or that. I had such a good time.\"\n\n\"You taught yourself dress design, then.\"\n\n\"I did. I loved old movies. Of course, some of them weren't so old back then. I learned and practiced by copying dresses I took a fancy to in the movies. Then I pretended I was in charge of costumes for various movies and created my own designs.\"\n\n\"The dress I'm wearing is one of your original designs, isn't it?\" Phoebe asked. \"It's lovely. It caught my eye right away.\"\n\n\"You're very kind, Phoebe. Yes, I pretended I was designing costumes for a movie about the Titanic. It's not all that different from one of the dresses Kate Winslet wore many years later.\" Daphne sighed heavily, but with none of the earlier raw emotion. \"There was something about being up in the library attic...\" She trailed off, then smiled as she glanced again at Phoebe. \"Maybe it was my great-great-grandfather's presence.\"\n\nFor all Phoebe knew, it was.\n\nDaphne took Phoebe's arm again as the library came into view. \"He's quite a man, your Noah.\"\n\n\"We're not... He isn't...\" Phoebe took a breath. \"Sorry. I'm not usually tongue-tied. I just don't want to give the wrong impression.\"\n\n\"But you aren't, are you? You don't have to answer. Your remind me so much of your father. He was new to town, too. We helped each other. Knights Bridge was exactly where he wanted to be.\"\n\n\"He was such a dreamer,\" Phoebe said with affection.\n\n\"The war took its toll on his natural spirit and optimism, but he finally decided that the best way for him to honor the friends he lost was to live each day.\"\n\n\"He did that. No question.\"\n\nDaphne squeezed Phoebe's hand, then let go as the library came into view. \"One night, he walked me home from the library. It was January, absolutely frigid.\" She gave a mock shiver. \"Believe me, I've never missed below-zero temperatures living in Southern California. That night was so clear. I've never seen stars glittering in a night sky like that. Patrick said it was a combination of the cold air and Quabbin, the absence of ambient light. Now that I do miss.\"\n\n\"I love the night sky,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"That night...\" Daphne looked up at the early-evening sky, gray with dusk. \"It felt as if the stars were talking to me. I knew I had to leave. I got home and packed up and left Knights Bridge that night.\"\n\n\"My father\u2014\"\n\n\"He knew I wasn't meant to stay here. He was so comfortable that night, as cold as it was. It was as if he were back in his own skin again. He was like a brother to me, you know. I'd have done anything for him.\"\n\n\"Did you stay in touch?\"\n\n\"I didn't even say goodbye,\" Daphne said softly, almost to herself. \"It was so, so cold that night. So cold, Phoebe. I knew it was Patrick's destiny to stay here and be himself just as it was mine to leave and become myself. I don't know if that makes sense to you but it does to me.\"\n\n\"It makes perfect sense,\" Phoebe said, meaning it.\n\n\"My attic room tells my story in a way, doesn't it?\"\n\nPhoebe smiled. \"It certainly does. How did you get to Hollywood?\"\n\n\"I took buses across the country. I was flat broke by the time I hit Wilshire Boulevard, but I got a job waitressing, found a roommate. I started working on sets, doing whatever work someone would hire me to do, and eventually I got into costume design.\" She grinned suddenly at Phoebe. \"That's the short version.\"\n\n\"Did you ever marry, have kids?\"\n\n\"Marry, yes. More than once. Have kids, no. Patrick O'Dunn, though...\" She shook her head in obvious   \namazement. \"Four daughters.\"\n\n\"With your former French student,\" Phoebe added.\n\n\"Will Elly be here tonight?\"\n\n\"She wouldn't miss it.\"\n\nThey walked under a sugar maple and across the library's side yard to the front entrance. Phoebe saw Ava and Ruby on the steps, in their flapper dresses from Daphne's hidden room.\n\n\"I'm honored, Phoebe,\" Daphne said in a hoarse whisper. \"I thought I needed to pretend my past here never existed. I didn't want any reminders, anyone else to know about Debbie Sanderson and her abusive, alcoholic childhood.\"\n\n\"No one needs to know who you are,\" Phoebe said. \"If it's what you want, you can attend the fashion show as one of Dylan's friends from California.\"\n\nDaphne paused as they came to the main entrance. \"Loretta says you should introduce me.\"\n\n\"That sounds like Loretta,\" Noah said, joining them, easing in next to Phoebe. \"We'll do whatever you want.\"\n\nDaphne didn't respond, and Noah took her by the arm and escorted her up the library steps. Phoebe saw Ava and Ruby staring at her and gave them a quick smile as she followed Noah and Daphne.\n\nDylan and Julius were waiting at the top of the steps as people gathered for the show. Olivia would be with Maggie, changing into their Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly dresses.\n\nDaphne stopped at the open front door. \"I don't know what I'm getting worked up about. No one will remember me or give a hoot about meeting a Hollywood costume designer.\" She peered inside at the rows of chairs, filling up with people from the town where she'd lived for such a short time. Her great-great-grandfather stared down at the audience from his portrait above the fireplace. \"I used to talk to old George's ghost.\"\n\n\"Did he talk back to you?\" Dylan asked, taking her other arm. Julius, obviously protective of Daphne, scowled, but Dylan just shrugged. \"Fair question.\"\n\nDaphne laughed, visibly more at ease. \"In his own way, he definitely talked back to me. My father wasn't like him at all. That much I know.\" She left it at that and pointed into the library at Grace Webster and Audrey Frost, sitting next to each other up front. \"They encouraged me when I started tutoring a few kids in French. I could speak the language, but I was no teacher.\"\n\nPhoebe said, \"I thought at first whoever created the room had gone to Paris.\"\n\n\"I love Paris but Southern California is home.\" More tears shone in Daphne's deep green eyes. \"And for a while, so was Knights Bridge. Now go, Phoebe. Do your thing and enjoy every minute.\"\n\nAs she excused herself and headed backstage, Noah and Dylan, with Julius right behind them, escorted Daphne into the library. Noah caught Phoebe's eye and she mouthed, \"Thank you.\" She looked around for Loretta Wrentham but didn't see her...until she arrived backstage. The California lawyer\u2014Dylan McCaffrey and Noah Kendrick's friend\u2014had on a tie-dyed shirt, a fringed vest and wide-legged turquoise pants.\n\n\"I think I wore this outfit in sixth grade,\" she said with a grin. \"It's those twin sisters of yours. They could talk a frog into camping out under a cactus.\"\n\nPhoebe burst into laughter, and then Loretta did, too. Daphne Stewart, aka Debbie Sanderson, was living the life she always wanted. Phoebe realized that her father had, too\u2014that his untimely death didn't change the fact that his life in Knights Bridge with his wife and four daughters was exactly what he'd wanted.\n\nShe was living the life she wanted, too.\n\nExcept everything had changed when Noah Kendrick swept her onto the dance floor in the Edwardian dress that Daphne Stewart had sewn in her attic room forty years ago.\n\n* * *\n\nDaphne Stewart\/Debbie Sanderson was greeted like the celebrity she was, on the stage her great-great-grandfather had insisted be included in the small-town library he founded. Noah thought Phoebe was even more beautiful in her princess dress without the mask, the heavy makeup, the black wig\u2014the pretending to be someone else. With her dark strawberry curls falling out of their pins, framing her face, she smiled and laughed among people she knew and loved.\n\nHe sat with Julius, Dylan and Daphne in the row behind Grace Webster. Grace would glance back at Dylan as if he she'd dreamed of having a grandson just like him.\n\nMaggie and Olivia wowed the crowd with their Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn dresses, and Ava and Ruby O'Dunn had everyone laughing when they did a short skit in their flapper dresses. Their mother modeled a simple, elegant dress that Grace Webster's mother\u2014Dylan's great-grandmother\u2014had worn long before the people of the Swift River Valley had realized their towns were doomed.\n\nLoretta obviously had a grand time showing off her hippie outfit.\n\nJulius leaned toward Noah and whispered, \"That Loretta's a stitch.\"\n\nDylan overheard him and just shook his head. Noah didn't try to hide his amusement. Brandon Sloan was across the aisle with his sons. He looked more comfortable in his own skin, if also more interested in the women in the dresses than the dresses themselves. They were his friends, and one was his wife. Even if he packed up his tent and moved to California, Brandon would still be a part of Knights Bridge.\n\nIt was a warm evening. Noah found himself alone as the after-show party spilled outside onto the lawn and across South Main onto the town common. Daphne had grabbed a glass of wine and was chatting comfortably with Elly O'Dunn.\n\nHe spotted Phoebe under a tall, graceful elm and grabbed two glasses of wine and joined her. She'd slipped off her sandals and was barefoot in the grass. She thanked him as he handed her a glass, but her mind was clearly elsewhere.\n\nShe sipped the wine, her gaze on her mother and her former French tutor. \"My mother stayed in Knights Bridge and Daphne took off for Hollywood\u2014changed her name, became someone else.\"\n\n\"Or thought she became someone else,\" Noah said.\n\n\"It's what she needed to believe at the time. She wasn't running from her life here. She was running from her past and its hold on her.\" Phoebe turned to him, her eyes almost emerald in the shadows. \"Knights Bridge was a stop on the way to becoming who she is now. I'm glad it worked out for her, and I'm glad she's here tonight. Thank you for making that happen.\"\n\n\"You did far more than I did.\"\n\nHe saw spots of color in her cheeks as she smiled. \"Ava and Ruby are beside themselves. They're trying not to get too crazy but they're so excited to have Daphne here.\"\n\n\"I think Daphne's excited, too.\"\n\n\"People seemed to have a good time tonight. I hope you and Dylan and Julius weren't too bored.\"\n\n\"Not bored at all,\" Noah said, letting his gaze settle just for a moment on the swell of her breasts in her elegant gown. The spots of color in her cheeks deepened. He smiled. \"You did well, Princess Phoebe, and you look beautiful.\"\n\nHe saw she hadn't expected his comment. \"Thank you,\" she said, then quickly drank more wine.\n\nSeveral people approached Phoebe to comment on the evening. Noah stood back, observing her as she interacted with her family and friends. Elly O'Dunn broke off from Daphne to chase her grandsons, who'd clearly had enough of vintage fashion and partying. Daphne met up with Dylan and Olivia. They got wine and approached him under the elm.\n\nHe sipped his wine, knowing that he stood apart from the people around him. Forty years ago Debbie Sanderson had come to Knights Bridge as an outsider. She'd appreciated the welcome she'd received, but ultimately she'd decided she didn't belong.\n\nPhoebe did, Noah realized. She always would.\n\nIn her mind, belonging in Knights Bridge meant living there, being the director of the library, fixing up her little house on Thistle Lane. Any change would seem to her like the drastic break that Daphne had made.\n\nAs Phoebe glanced at him with a smile, Noah also saw that she'd convinced herself that he would never want to stay in Knights Bridge and make a place for himself there.\n\nMaybe she was right.\n\nHe felt himself go very still as he watched her, and he thought...no. She wasn't right.\n\nBut he couldn't tell her.\n\nShe needed to see it for herself.\n\n* * *\n\n\"This could have all gone wrong but it didn't,\" Loretta told Julius as she helped herself to a third glass of wine. They were small glasses. Knights Bridge\u2013size glasses, she thought with a grin. She'd changed back into her regular clothes but kind of missed her hippie outfit. \"I had a great time. Were you ever a hippie?\"\n\nJulius looked at her as if she'd turned green. \"No.\"\n\n\"Always a button-down type?\"\n\n\"Always.\"\n\n\"Now you're a high-priced private investigator for a high-priced Los Angeles law firm. You went to law school yourself?\"\n\n\"UCLA. Never took the bar.\"\n\n\"You went into the military,\" Loretta said, because it was what immediately made sense to her.\n\nHe nodded. \"I lost an uncle in Vietnam. My mother's brother. Great guy. He was twenty. The baby of the family. It affects you forever, that kind of loss.\"\n\nJulius was pensive, no wine for him. They'd promised to take Daphne to Boston tonight and then fly back to L.A. in the morning. She had things to do, she'd said, but Loretta knew she'd needed an exit strategy before she could commit to returning to Knights Bridge. Now the Hollywood designer was mingling with people she'd known forty years ago and hadn't seen since.\n\nKnights Bridge was a pretty town, small and off the beaten track, but Loretta could see that Dylan was right. Time hadn't stopped here.\n\nFinally Julius said, \"Daphne's time here in Knights Bridge meant something. It wasn't just about hiding and then running away. It wasn't just about her. I hope she sees that now.\"\n\n\"You're thinking about Patrick O'Dunn,\" Loretta said.\n\n\"Yeah.\" Julius's gaze was fixed on Daphne as she approached Phoebe under a big shade tree. His expression tightened. \"She wanted me to do it. I told her I couldn't.\"\n\n\"Do what?\"\n\n\"Watch. It's not easy to tell Daphne no, but this was for her to do.\"\n\nHe was silent as they watched Daphne hand Phoebe an envelope.\n\n\"What is it?\" Loretta asked.\n\n\"It's the letter she wrote to Patrick O'Dunn when she got to California. She never mailed it.\"\n\nPhoebe opened the envelope and unfolded the note inside. Loretta bit back her impatience. \"What's it say? You read it, right?\"\n\nJulius scowled. \"You're such a know-it-all, Loretta. Yeah, I read it.\"\n\n\"Well?\"\n\nHe hesitated, obviously debating how much to say. \"Daphne tells him she made it to Hollywood and while she doesn't know what the future will bring, she knows she made the right decision. 'Thanks to you, Patrick, I've finally found my home.'\" Julius cleared his throat. \"She tells him she'd never have made it to California without him. He helped her find the courage to take the plunge, go after her dream, just because he got up every day and lived his life, did the best he could.\"\n\nLoretta choked back tears. \"Damn. I think I'm going to cry.\"\n\n\"Don't do that,\" Julius said with a sudden grin. \"The world as we know it really will come to an end.\"\n\nDylan and Olivia chatted with Noah, whose gaze was on Phoebe O'Dunn and only Phoebe O'Dunn. Loretta sighed. \"It already has, but it's okay.\"\n\nJulius slung an arm over her shoulders. \"It's more than okay. It's damn good.\"\nTwenty-One\n\nMaggie slammed the door behind her as she entered Olivia's kitchen. After last night's perfect weather for the fashion show, the temperature had spiked today. It was midafternoon now and over ninety. The humidity level and dew point made it feel even hotter. Because The Farm at Carriage Hill was a getaway, Olivia was installing air-conditioning, but it wasn't up and running just yet.\n\nOlivia glanced at her from the sink. \"You're all red, Maggie. What have you been doing in this heat?\"\n\n\"I'm broiling hot and broiling mad.\" She raked a hand through her hair, determined not to take her mood out on her friend. \"I need to cool off.\"\n\n\"Why don't you take the boys up to the mill and jump in the pond? The water's always cold there.\"\n\nMaggie grunted. \"I could just dump a tray of ice cubes on Brandon's head. That'd cool me off.\"\n\nOlivia stepped back from the sink, drying her hands with a white dish towel. \"I had a feeling your red face had something to do with him. Do you want to talk about it?\"\n\n\"No.\"\n\nOlivia raised her eyebrows.\n\n\"I don't,\" Maggie said, adamant. \"You deserve a quiet day. Did you see the orange mint Phoebe, Noah and I harvested?\"\n\n\"It's drying nicely,\" Olivia said, setting the towel on the island. \"I also saw the pesto in the freezer.\"\n\n\"And the dog hair on your couch?\" Maggie tried to smile. \"Noah's a pushover when it comes to Buster. You've got him back on the straight and narrow?\"\n\n\"Noah or Buster?\"\n\nMaggie saw the smile in Olivia's eyes but couldn't relax, couldn't let go of how mad she was\u2014how upset. She sighed. \"Yes. Yes, I want to talk. Or tell you, anyway. Maybe not talk, because there's nothing to talk about. It is what it is.\"\n\n\"Do you want to go outside and sit?\"\n\nMaggie shook her head and started to pace in the kitchen. It was such an ideal kitchen, in an ell by itself, with great light and lots of cabinets and counters and a warm, country feel. She loved working there.\n\n\"Maggie...\"\n\n\"I'm sorry. I was thinking about how much I love it here. I love what you're doing with Carriage Hill.\"\n\n\"What we're doing,\" Olivia said.\n\n\"We do make a good team. This place has such possibilities. I've started to dream again, Olivia. I've started to have hope in the future. I don't dwell on the past so much.\" She stopped abruptly, stared out the window over the sink and noticed the haze, felt the oppressive heat. \"Brandon's been working nonstop for the past six months. He didn't tell me.\"\n\n\"Working for his family?\" Olivia asked.\n\n\"Mostly. Exclusively now.\"\n\n\"Is that good or bad?\"\n\nMaggie leaned back against the island. \"Good, I guess. Good that he's working. He's cut expenses to the bone. He's not living in that damn tent because he's broke. He's living there because he's saving every dime he makes.\"\n\n\"For what?\"\n\n\"To prove himself to me.\"\n\n\"He told you this?\"\n\nMaggie snorted. \"Are you kidding? He never tells me anything. I had to ferret it out on my own.\"\n\n\"Meaning you got one of his brothers to tell you,\" Olivia said.\n\n\"Christopher.\" He was the youngest of the six Sloan siblings, one of two full-time firefighters in town. \"It didn't take much doing. He says I need to prove myself to Brandon, too. Me. Like I did something wrong.\"\n\n\"What are you supposed to prove?\"\n\n\"That I still want to be with him, regardless of money.\"\n\nOlivia picked up her towel again and polished the butcher-block counter. \"Christopher said that, huh?\"\n\n\"Not in those exact words but I got the message.\" Maggie suddenly wished she had something to cook. She held up a hand before her friend could interrupt. \"I'm not asking you to take a side. I know you have to live in this town and it's crawling with Sloans. Whatever made me think I could come back here?\"\n\n\"There are a few O'Dunns here, too,\" Olivia said, her tone neutral.\n\n\"For how long? Ava and Ruby are going back to school. They'll end up in Hollywood or New York. And Phoebe. I don't know where Phoebe will end up. I used to think she'd always be here in Knights Bridge.\" Maggie hesitated, glanced toward the mudroom and back door. \"Where are Noah and Dylan?\"\n\n\"They're up the road talking demolition.\"\n\nWith Brandon, no doubt. Maggie gritted her teeth. \"I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy and Phoebe's not going anywhere. She and Noah seemed so good together last night at the fashion show, but she was in that Edwardian dress again. Maybe that makes all the difference.\"\n\n\"Or getting her out of her Edwardian dress,\" Olivia said half under her breath.\n\n\"Olivia!\"\n\n\"Well. Come on. You saw the sparks between those two.\"\n\n\"Yes, but\u2014\" Maggie stopped herself. \"I can't talk about my sister that way. And this is Phoebe. It's not Ava or Ruby. You know what I mean?\"\n\nOlivia nodded. \"I do, and maybe that's part of the problem.\"\n\nMaggie suddenly wished she'd brought something to do. Her mother had invited the boys up to the house to make pickles and would drop them off at the library later. Maggie would pick them up there. She hadn't planned on a project with Olivia, figured it was too soon after her return from San Diego. Too complicated with Noah Kendrick as a houseguest.\n\nAnd she was too mad at Brandon.\n\nShe made herself smile as she changed the subject. \"Daphne Stewart is something, isn't she?\"\n\n\"She wants to come back to Knights Bridge for a proper stay,\" Olivia said. \"She only stayed last night because it was all so last-minute and she had to get back to L.A. I also think she wasn't sure she could handle being back here.\"\n\n\"It was emotional for her. You could tell. She lived in town for such a short time but it had an impact, on her and on the people she met. She needed a brother, a man she could trust\u2014who wouldn't beat her up.\"\n\n\"Your father,\" Olivia said.\n\nMaggie nodded, emotional herself. \"Daphne helped him but he helped her. He was such a good guy, Liv.\"\n\n\"I remember.\"\n\n\"We all lost out when he died, but Phoebe most of all, although I don't think she and that rat bastard from Orlando were meant for each other. But she's never really had anyone since then.\"\n\n\"Maybe that's because she was waiting for a swashbuckler to sweep her off her feet,\" Olivia said with a smile.\n\nMaggie felt her own mood lighten. Sweat trickled down the nape of her neck. \"Phoebe's used to having people need her. Noah doesn't need her. What does she have to offer a billionaire? She's not a starlet. She's...Phoebe.\"\n\n\"Maybe Noah's wondering what he has to offer her.\"\n\n\"A winery, for starters,\" Maggie said, partly serious, partly facetious.\n\nOlivia went to the refrigerator and helped herself to a handful of crushed ice. She offered some to Maggie, rubbed her arms with hers. \"Maybe Phoebe doesn't want a winery. Maybe she just wants what she has.\"\n\n\"That would be my sister,\" Maggie said with a sigh. \"She's stubborn, you know. She'll tell herself she doesn't want anything but what she already has.\"\n\n\"Noah took her by surprise, didn't he?\"\n\n\"They took each other by surprise. It's not like Brandon and me. No surprises. I've known him my whole life. I know how he thinks. Wouldn't you think he'd know how I think?\"\n\nOlivia watched the ice chips melt on her arm and didn't answer.\n\n\"He can be such an idiot,\" Maggie said, back on that train of thought. \"What went on between us was never about money.\"\n\n\"If Brandon wasn't so thickheaded sometimes, Maggie, you wouldn't love him so much.\" Olivia took her towel, blotted her arm dry. \"Maybe you two got into a pattern of thinking that you knew what was going on with the other person\u2014like two halves of one whole instead of two individuals.\"\n\nMaggie wasn't willing to go that far. \"I talk.\"\n\n\"Maybe you both should talk.\" Then Olivia added, \"To each other.\"\n\n\"I'm too hot to talk, and when did you get so wise, my friend?\" Maggie smiled. \"Why don't we let the guys talk demolition while we go swimming in the millpond?\"\n\nOlivia grinned. \"I'll grab my suit.\"\n\n\"I've got one in the van.\"\n\nThey drove out to the nineteenth-century sawmill the Frosts owned on a tributary to the Swift River. The small millpond and wood-sided mill, now converted into an apartment, were still intact. Maggie shivered just looking at the clear, clean, copper-tinted water. Tyler and Aidan hated swimming here. They preferred the warmer water of their friends' pools. Maggie thought they might change their minds when they were older, although she didn't want them to get the cuts and bruises that she, Phoebe and Olivia had swimming out here growing up. Like their nephews, Ava and Ruby had never been big on plunging themselves into ice-cold water.\n\nMaggie sat on a sun-warmed boulder and dipped her feet into the water, then pulled them right out. \"It didn't seem this cold when we were kids.\"\n\nOlivia laughed. \"It did, too. We were just oblivious.\"\n\nThey eased into the water, each finding a rock to stand on as they got used to the chilly temperature. Maggie shut her eyes, appreciating the contrast between the waist-down cold and the waist-up heat. She remembered sneaking out here on a moonlit night with Brandon, back in the days when it felt like anything was possible.\n\nShe opened her eyes and realized Olivia was looking at her with concern. \"I'm okay.\" She smiled before she could burst into tears. \"It's a perfect day to be out here, isn't it?\"\n\n\"Perfect.\"\n\nThe pond was only five feet at its deepest. As she lowered herself into the water, getting wet up to her neck, Maggie listened to the flow of the brook over the stone dam. Olivia splashed her, and Maggie splashed her back. They shrieked with laughter as if they were twelve again.\n\nMaggie ducked her head underwater but popped up almost immediately. \"Whoa, that's refreshing,\" she said. \"I think I have goose bumps.\"\n\nOlivia eased back up onto their sunny boulder. \"Don't get hypothermia,\" she said.\n\nMaggie splashed her. \"Just like you to bring up hypothermia.\"\n\nOlivia pointed at her. \"Purple lips, shivering, goose bumps. You tell me.\"\n\n\"All right, all right.\" Maggie climbed up onto another boulder and stretched out her legs. She had purple-blue knees, too. She reached for a towel on the stone wall\u2014of course Olivia had remembered towels\u2014and draped one over her legs. \"It's still hot as blazes.\"\n\n\"It won't be for long.\" Olivia nodded up at dark clouds looming above the trees to the west. \"Looks like a storm's headed our way.\"\n\n\"That does look nasty,\" Maggie said. \"I guess we're done playing hooky for the afternoon.\"\n\nShe dried off as best she could and slipped back into her shorts and T-shirt. Olivia did the same. Thunder rumbled in the distance, the kind of low, deep, rolling thunder that suggested a strong storm was bearing down on them.\n\nThey headed to the parking lot by the much newer Frost Millworks building. Dylan was there, getting out of his car. \"We're not going anywhere right now. Knights Bridge is under a severe thunderstorm warning.\"\n\nMaggie shook her head. \"I have to pick up the boys at the library. I've driven in loads of storms\u2014\"\n\n\"Not like this one. I've seen the radar.\"\n\n\"We can duck into the mill,\" Olivia said. \"Where's Noah?\"\n\n\"And Brandon,\" Maggie added. \"He's not in that stupid tent, is he?\"\n\n\"They're at Carriage Hill,\" Dylan said.\n\nThey hurried up to the mill. No one else was there late on a Sunday afternoon. Maggie used the phone in the small front office and tried calling the library but no one picked up. Her mother would have dropped off the boys by now but Maggie called her just to be sure.\n\n\"I dropped them off twenty minutes ago,\" her mother said. \"Phoebe's there alone. We get thunderstorm warnings all the time, Maggie. It'll be okay.\"\n\nBut Maggie heard the note of worry in her mother's voice. They promised to keep each other updated.\n\n\"Stay at the mill,\" her mother said. \"Promise me, Maggie.\"\n\nThe phone went dead.\n\nMaggie cradled the receiver and went into the outer room. She could see wind whipping through the trees on the other side of the pond. Small limbs fell into the water. The ground was quickly littered with leaves and twigs.\n\nThen came the hail.\n\nOlivia and Dylan held hands. Maggie wrapped her arms around her middle and watched the pebble-size hail hit the walk and the rock walls. It pelted into the brook and collected on the grass.\n\nShe jumped at a simultaneous flash of lightning and crack of thunder.\n\n\"It's just the edge of the storm,\" Dylan said.\n\nMaggie insisted he hand her his iPhone. The local weather radar was still up on the screen. Reds, yellows, purples. It was a dangerous, severe thunderstorm, and if it stayed on course, Knights Bridge center was taking a direct hit.\n\nMaggie's stomach lurched. She bolted for the door but Dylan grabbed her. \"I have to get to the library,\" she said. \"The boys\u2014Phoebe.\"\n\n\"Phoebe knows what to do in a storm,\" Olivia said, white-faced.\n\n\"If she knows it's this bad...\"\n\n\"We wait this out,\" Dylan said. \"Then we go.\"\n\n* * *\n\n\"Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Phoebe!\"\n\n\"I'm here,\" she said, sitting up, wincing in pain. It was Aidan screaming her name. She tried to keep from moaning and further scaring her nephews. \"It's okay...\"\n\n\"Listen,\" Tyler told his younger brother, his tone reassuring. \"You hear the sirens? Uncle Chris will get us out.\"\n\nThey were alone in the library attic. They'd lost power but that was the least of their troubles. Despite the heat, Tyler and Aidan had wanted to see the attic and Phoebe's secret room. They didn't care about sewing, but someone had mentioned there were ghosts in the attic. Phoebe told them about the antique marbles she'd found, and they'd charged up the stairs ahead of her.\n\nWhat harm was there in a spooky little adventure on a hot summer afternoon?\n\nShe'd been right behind them on the back stairs when she noticed the threatening sky, the greenish light in the window on the second-floor landing. She'd grabbed the boys and started downstairs to get to an interior room, but the storm hit suddenly. A fierce wind gust uprooted a sugar maple and sent it into the library. Branches broke the window on the landing below them, just missing them and blocking their route back downstairs.\n\nShe all but threw the boys up to the attic. They took cover in Daphne Stewart's windowless sewing room. Hail pounded on the roof. Wind howled and whistled. The tiny room seemed to rattle with the booming thunder.\n\nPhoebe had held on to her nephews, shielding them in case part of the roof blew off.\n\nThe storm finally passed, and now it was quiet except for the sirens.\n\n\"I need to let someone know where we are,\" she said, keeping her voice calm. \"That we're safe.\"\n\n\"We're not safe,\" Tyler said, the pragmatic Sloan.\n\nAidan sucked in a breath and pointed at her. \"Aunt Phoebe...you're bleeding.\"\n\nShe saw that she was, in fact, bleeding from a cut on her left arm. She didn't remember being hurt, hadn't felt any pain until now. She took in a shallow breath. \"It's not bad. Are you boys okay? Let me look at you.\"\n\n\"We're fine.\" Tyler stood up. \"I'm going to yell out a window.\"\n\n\"You won't be able to open any of the windows up here,\" Phoebe said.\n\n\"We can throw a brick and break the glass,\" Aidan said.\n\nTyler rolled his eyes. \"Where are we going to get a brick?\"\n\n\"Then use something else,\" his brother said, impatient, scared.\n\nPhoebe struggled to her feet. \"I'll do it,\" she said. \"You two stay right there where I can see you and don't move. Understood? Don't move.\"\n\nAs she crept to the corner door, she heard a creaking sound in the tiny room. A ghost after all, maybe. She opened the door, felt blood drip into her eyes. A cut on her scalp, too? At least the blood hadn't reached her face and the boys hadn't seen it.\n\nShe saw Christopher Sloan down on South Main, yelling past two uprooted trees to someone out of view. Olivia was there with her father, a volunteer firefighter, and Dylan. No Noah. Then she saw Maggie, looking stricken as she approached her brother-in-law, picking her way through fallen limbs and scattered leaves.\n\nPhoebe tried to open the window, but she couldn't get it to budge. What was wrong with her? Her head was spinning, aching. Her arm stung from the cut.\n\nShe glanced back at her nephews with a quick smile. \"Everything's fine. We just have to give your Uncle Chris time to get up here.\"\n\n\"Because of the broken glass,\" Aidan said.\n\n\"And the tree in the way,\" Tyler added sarcastically. Phoebe saw that his toughness was a pretense, his own eyes wide with fear.\n\n\"Aidan! Tyler!\"\n\nBrandon. Of course. He was close, probably by the freestanding closets.\n\n\"We're in here,\" Phoebe called. \"We're okay.\"\n\n\"Aunt Phoebe's not okay,\" Tyler yelled.\n\nBrandon burst into the sewing room. \"Aunt Phoebe saved us,\" Aidan said, sobbing as his father scooped him up.\n\nHer brother-in-law looked straight at her. \"Sit, Phoebe.\"\n\n\"I'm fine\u2014\"\n\n\"You're not fine. Sit.\"\n\nThen Noah swept in behind him. \"Phoebe.\" He seemed hardly able to speak. \"I know a bit about cuts.\"\n\n\"From your fencing,\" Phoebe said, then clutched his arm, steadying herself. \"Oh, hell, Noah. Damn. I think I'm going to faint.\"\n\n\"Then you're right where you need to be.\"\n\nAnd she knew she was, even as she passed out in his arms.\nTwenty-Two\n\nNoah stood on Thistle Lane thirty yards from an ambulance as Phoebe reassured the crew that she was just fine. He'd hated to leave her but all eyes were on her. She'd regained consciousness almost immediately after she'd passed out, probably as much from heat and dehydration as anything else. She'd refused to wait for a stretcher. After firefighters had cleared the tree out of the way, she'd walked down from the attic on her own, Noah at her side.\n\n\"Phoebe's right,\" Dylan said, approaching Noah. \"She will be fine. Her cuts are superficial. She doesn't even need stitches.\"\n\n\"You should know. You got cut in hockey all the time.\"\n\n\"Regularly. Not all the time.\"\n\nThey both grinned, but Noah could still feel the after-effects of the adrenaline rush. He and Brandon Sloan had arrived in the village center minutes after high winds had blown down trees and wires, ripped off parts of roofs. Brandon managed to park his truck on South Main, and he and Noah jumped into action, charging into the damaged library.\n\nFor a terrifying minute, they'd thought Phoebe and the Sloan boys were under the debris on the stairs.\n\nNoah shook off the memory. Olivia was with Phoebe. Police and firefighters had cordoned off the library's side yard where two trees had come down in what they believed was a microburst.\n\nMaggie paced on the narrow lane as Tyler and Aidan told their story to their firefighter uncle.\n\n\"She's blazing,\" Dylan said.\n\nShe certainly was, Noah thought. \"She's had a fright.\"\n\n\"She needs to vent,\" Brandon said as he joined them. \"She can cater a dinner for seventy-five people without breaking a sweat, but this is different. It's her kids. The boys are good, though. All's well that ends well.\"\n\nNoah had entered the library with Brandon and knew how terrified he'd been for his sons, and for his sister-in-law.\n\nMaggie stalked over to him, hands on her hips, some color returning to her cheeks. \"Why didn't you wait for the firefighters?\" she asked as if in midthought.\n\n\"Noah and I were right there, Maggie,\" Brandon said. \"What were we supposed to do, twiddle our thumbs?\"\n\nShe ignored him and glared at Noah. \"You, too. You both had to go tearing into the library on your own.\" She didn't give him a chance to respond and spun back to her husband. \"What if that tree had dislodged and fallen on you? Phoebe and the boys were safe.\"\n\n\"We wouldn't have gone up if it wasn't safe,\" Brandon said.\n\n\"You would have.\"\n\n\"I've worked construction since I could pick up a hammer. I knew it was safe. I didn't know Phoebe and the boys were okay.\" His tone was patient, unwavering. \"We had a good angle. We got through. Coming back down with Phoebe and the boys was risky, so we waited for the firefighters.\"\n\n\"Phoebe had everything under control.\" Maggie blinked back tears. \"But if she and Tyler and Aidan had gone up those stairs thirty seconds later, and that tree, the window...\"\n\n\"They'd have been in a world of hurt,\" Brandon said bluntly. \"Lucky that didn't happen. Don't think about what could have happened, Maggie. Think about what did happen.\"\n\nShe nodded, calmer. Her sons edged toward their parents. Brandon slung an arm over Aidan's small shoulders. \"Aunt Phoebe protected us,\" the boy said.\n\nTyler nodded. \"It was a scary storm.\"\n\n\"We don't get many storms like that,\" Maggie said, reassuring them despite her own lingering fear.\n\nTyler kicked a small stone in the lane, then looked up at the adults, his eyes still wide. \"Aunt Phoebe said we just had to wait for someone to come get us. We were trapped, weren't we?\"\n\nBrandon pointed at the fallen tree. \"The storm took down that tree. It was blocking the stairs. It wasn't even close to you guys in the attic. You can see that from here, can't you, Tyler?\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" the boy said.\n\nNext to him, his younger brother took his father's hand. \"I wasn't scared, Dad.\"\n\n\"It's okay to be scared. We all get scared.\" Brandon looked straight at his wife. \"It's what we do when we're scared that matters.\"\n\n\"Aunt Phoebe is brave,\" Aidan said.\n\nBrandon nodded. \"She did the right thing today.\"\n\nMaggie looked at Noah. \"That's Phoebe. It's who she is. She always tries to do the right thing, for all of us.\"\n\nIt would be like that, Noah knew. The O'Dunn sisters would stick together. An attack on one\u2014even a perceived attack\u2014was an attack on all four. Most of the time, their solidarity was probably a positive for all of them. He glanced at the ambulance. Phoebe was back on her feet, her arm bandaged as she stood next to Olivia. She looked steady, her hair shining in what was now a clear, cool afternoon. He wondered how much freedom she had to do what she wanted and not just what her family wanted, or what she thought they wanted.\n\nElly O'Dunn arrived with Ava and Ruby, and Brandon and Maggie and their sons joined them at the ambulance. Phoebe smiled at her family. Noah knew that it'd be her instinct to reassure them.\n\nDylan sighed. \"Damn. That was too close for comfort.\"\n\n\"As Brandon says, all's well that ends well,\" Noah said. \"Phoebe and the Sloan boys are in good shape. The damage to the library is repairable.\"\n\n\"What about you, Noah?\" his friend asked him. \"You got to be a swashbuckler without having to stab anyone. Feeling pretty good?\"\n\n\"You were annoying in kindergarten, too, Dylan,\" Noah said with a grin. \"I don't know how we've stayed friends.\"\n\n\"We didn't do the same things. You're a swordfighter and I'm a hockey player. You're good at math and I'm not.\" Dylan paused, his gaze on Phoebe and Olivia. \"You and Phoebe do different things, too.\"\n\n\"No kidding,\" Noah muttered.\n\n\"It's good. You get bored easily. In fact, you're a pain in the ass when you're bored.\" Dylan looked more relaxed than when he'd arrived at the library. \"Brandon Sloan's a natural to work in adventure travel. He could do it on the side and still keep up with his construction work.\"\n\nNoah nodded. \"You could use the help.\"\n\n\"I thought this adventure travel initiative might burn out fast, but it's not going to. It's already taking off and we're not even fully set up yet.\"\n\nNoah wasn't surprised. With Duncan McCaffrey's treasure hunting background and Dylan's interests and contacts, adventure travel was a perfect next step for him. But it wouldn't be the only one. After four years of hyperfocusing on NAK, he was as ready to explore multiple interests as Noah was.\n\n\"Maggie and Olivia are on their way to becoming full business partners,\" Dylan added. \"Maggie's taking over more of the day-to-day running of Carriage Hill. She loves it and she's good at it. Olivia loves the design work, planning, coming up with new ideas.\"\n\n\"Finding old pillowcases,\" Noah added with a smile.\n\n\"And soap making. They're having a great time.\"\n\nNoah could get used to mosquitoes, and he could learn to love small-town life and hiking in the woods, but he wasn't going to get into making soap. He suspected Dylan was of a like mind.\n\n\"NAK's a success,\" Noah said. \"It's in good hands, but we're not done.\"\n\nAcross South Main, people were gathering to check out the damage from the storm. The Civil War monument was intact, the stone Union soldier standing tall amid several downed trees. Several of the buildings on South Main had sustained damage. Across the common, the Knights Bridge Country Store was untouched.\n\nExcept for Phoebe's cuts, there'd been no injuries. Noah watched her kneel down at eye level with her young nephews as she spoke to them. After their scare, they'd need reassurance.\n\n\"We're friends, Noah,\" Dylan said next to him. \"That's not changing, whatever comes next.\"\n\nHe meant Phoebe, Noah knew.\n\nShe stood, Tyler and Aidan laughing now. Everyone looked more at ease. Noah felt his throat tighten. \"I'm as sure about Phoebe as I've ever been about anything.\"\n\n\"I know,\" Dylan said.\n\n\"That obvious?\"\n\n\"It is to me.\"\n\n\"Phoebe and I need time together, but it won't change how sure I am.\" Noah went very still, a cool, gentle breeze blowing now. \"I know it won't.\"\n\nDylan didn't argue with him.\n\nOlivia broke off from the Sloans and O'Dunns and Dylan met her on the corner of South Main and Thistle Lane. He put his arm around her as if he'd known her forever. Noah glanced at the library. Brandon had said he thought it would reopen quickly, within a few days, although the damage would take longer to repair. Would Phoebe lead that effort as library director?\n\nShe hugged her mother, then left her family and walked toward him. He wanted to go to her but waited for her to reach him.\n\n\"Thank you, Noah,\" she said, stopping next to a small downed tree limb. \"I've never passed out before.\"\n\n\"You're sure you don't need to get checked out at the hospital?\"\n\n\"I'm sure. I've been cleared to go home. My mother wants us all to come out to her place for hamburgers and hot dogs.\" Phoebe smiled, added, \"And tomatoes, of course.\"\n\n\"Fresh from the garden,\" Noah said.\n\n\"Absolutely.\"\n\n\"Phoebe...\" Then as he let his fingertips graze hers, out of view of her family and friends, he heard himself tell her that he was going back to San Diego. \"I'm not a guy from Knights Bridge. I never will be. That's a statement of fact, Phoebe. It's not an apology.\"\n\nHer turquoise eyes widened but she didn't speak.\n\n\"When we saw each other that night in Boston, it was like having a flash grenade go off in our lives. It changed everything. I had it happen when NAK took off and turned me into a very wealthy man.\" He resisted an urge to touch her hair, her lips. \"You need time, Phoebe. I'm giving it to you.\"\n\nIf she said anything as he left, he didn't hear it. He waved a hand at Dylan, who immediately joined him on South Main. \"Noah, what's going on?\"\n\n\"I need a ride to the airport.\"\n\n\"You're going back to San Diego?\"\n\n\"Tonight.\"\n\n\"For how long?\"\n\nNoah glanced back at Phoebe, walking alone down Thistle Lane. \"For as long as it takes.\"\n\n* * *\n\nWord got out that Noah Kendrick had left Knights Bridge for the second time in less than a week. Phoebe was pouring wine when Maggie, Ava, Ruby and Olivia descended on Thistle Lane to take her to her mother's house. Brandon was already there with Tyler and Aidan.\n\nMaggie, looking emotionally ragged, took the wine bottle out of Phoebe's hands. \"Are you out of your ever-loving mind, Phoebe? It's bad enough I've screwed up everything with Brandon, but you can't screw up things with Noah because you're afraid of not being there for us, for Mom, for Knights Bridge. You just can't. I won't let you.\"\n\nAva glanced at her watch. \"Noah doesn't have that much of a head start. You have time to get to the airport before his plane takes off.\"\n\n\"You're assuming I was invited,\" Phoebe said.\n\nHer sisters groaned in unison. \"Who cares? Go!\"\n\n\"I'll drive you,\" Olivia said. \"If we're wrong and he doesn't want you on his plane, I'll drive you back here\u2014\"\n\n\"And we'll drink a case of his wine,\" Maggie said.\n\n\"It's a risk but not a crazy risk,\" Ruby said. \"He wants you to take it. He wants to prove he's not too much for you. Too rich, too California, too smart, too\u2014you know. Too everything.\"\n\n\"And he needs to know you're falling in love with him,\" Maggie added quietly. \"He needs to know he has something to offer you.\"\n\nPhoebe took a breath. \"Something to offer me?\"\n\n\"You have everything you need right here in Knights Bridge,\" Olivia said. \"Your family, your job, your friends.\"\n\nBut not Noah, Phoebe thought. She didn't tell her sisters and friend that even before the storm\u2014fainting into Noah's arms\u2014she'd drafted her letter of resignation from the library, just to get a feel for what it might be like to try something new. She could volunteer. She could get into adventure travel, work on Carriage Hill soaps, learn about venture capital and serial entrepreneurs. She could read books and chase toddlers.\n\nThere was so much she could do.\n\nShe saw possibilities where before she had only seen the path she was on.\n\nBefore Noah.\n\n\"It'll take me two seconds to pack,\" she said, already heading out of the kitchen.\n\nShe didn't know what she threw in her suitcase. If she forgot anything, there were stores in San Diego. And maybe I won't need clothes, she thought with a jolt. She blamed her scare with the storm, her mad dash up to the attic with her nephews. She still ached from her cuts, but at least she hadn't required stitches and didn't have a concussion.\n\nIn other words, she could fly. She could see the sights in San Diego.\n\nMake love to Noah.\n\nShe let out a breath. Don't get ahead of yourself.\n\nOn the drive to the small airport barely twenty miles from Knights Bridge, Olivia gripped the steering wheel, her eyes on the road as she spoke. \"If things don't work out with you and Noah, you and I will still be friends. You know that, right, Phoebe? It won't change anything between us.\"\n\n\"But Dylan\u2014\"\n\n\"It's the same for him and Noah. They've been friends for almost as long as we have. We're all grownups now, Phoebe. You know? We'll figure it out. You and Noah need the space to be whatever you're meant to be to each other.\"\n\n\"I appreciate that, Olivia,\" Phoebe said. \"You and Noah seem to get along well.\"\n\n\"Noah is\u2014he's just Noah. Not everyone gets him.\"\n\n\"Women?\"\n\n\"I don't know much about his past relationships.\" Olivia smiled. \"Except that they're past.\"\n\n\"I've never been to San Diego,\" Phoebe said half under her breath.\n\n\"You won't be intimidated by Noah's life there. You're not the type. Just because you're quiet and kind doesn't mean you're a pushover. You'd never have managed Knights Bridge Free Public Library if you were a pushover.\"\n\nPhoebe laughed. \"That's for sure.\"\n\nOlivia slowed for a curve. \"That's what Noah sees, you know. He believes in you.\"\n\nThey arrived at the airport.\n\nNoah's plane hadn't taken off yet.\n\nPhoebe had a strong suspicion that Dylan had given his friend advance warning. The pilot greeted her by name and escorted her to the private jet himself.\n\nNoah was there, fresh out of the shower, in a clean black shirt and dark jeans. He looked every inch the billionaire he was. He had champagne waiting, and when she sat next to him on a leather seat, Phoebe knew there was nowhere else on the planet she'd rather be.\n\n* * *\n\nBrandon slept on the couch at Maggie's \"gingerbread\" house off Knights Bridge common. It hadn't sustained any damage, but he said he wanted to be close to the boys their first night after their scare. Maggie didn't mind. It made sense, she told herself. Tyler and Aidan needed both parents.\n\nBrandon had an early start at work. He hadn't even stayed for coffee.\n\nIt was almost as if he hadn't been there.\n\nThe second night, however, was a different story.\n\nHis folks took the boys for the night. Christopher had promised he'd show his nephews some basic search-and-rescue techniques. Tyler and Aidan were so excited, Maggie couldn't say no, although she was reluctant to be apart from them. Never in her life had she had such a scare as when she'd arrived at the library after the storm.\n\nShe still wasn't over it, she thought as she crossed the yard to Grace Webster's old house\u2014the one Dylan's father had bought and then left to him, a simple act that, ultimately, had changed all their lives.\n\nThe heat of two days ago eased with the storm; it was downright chilly. Maggie had promised her in-laws that she'd drop off a jug of corn chowder for Brandon. She and her mother and younger sisters had made up tons with fresh corn from the garden.\n\nHe stood by an open fire in front of his tent. \"It's still warm,\" she said, handing the chowder to him.\n\n\"Thanks, Maggie.\"\n\nShe heard something in his voice but couldn't figure out what it was. He had a blanket spread out on the grass between his tent and the crackling fire. She appreciated the warmth of the flames.\n\n\"Sit with me a minute?\" he asked her.\n\nShe shrugged. \"Sure, why not?\"\n\nShe sat cross-legged on the blanket. He sat next to her, his legs stretched out, the light from the flames flickering on his face. He smiled at her. \"Nice night. I don't miss the heat.\"\n\n\"Me, either, although I'll probably regret saying that in January.\" She fidgeted, uncrossed her legs. \"I shouldn't stay long. I have things to do at home.\"\n\n\"At least stay until the stars are out.\"\n\nShe went still, narrowed her eyes on him. That was it, she thought. That knowing tone. That Sloan smugness. \"I've been set up, haven't I?\"\n\nHe leaned toward her. \"You didn't stand a chance. All of us Sloans united to get you out here tonight.\"\n\n\"My sisters weren't involved, were they?\"\n\n\"Do you see them here with pitchforks?\" Brandon asked wryly.\n\n\"It's not that they're against you. They're just with me.\"\n\nHis gaze softened. \"So am I, Maggie.\"\n\nShe looked away from him and saw a star twinkling brightly in the darkening night sky. \"Brandon...\" She didn't go on. What else was there to say?\n\n\"If you want to leave, Maggie\u2014\"\n\n\"I don't.\"\n\nThe words were out before she'd realized she'd said them and that it really was what she wanted. Brandon edged closer to her, and she sank against him, felt his arm settle around her. It was so quiet, just an owl hooting across the field toward Carriage Hill and Quabbin.\n\n\"Ah, Maggie,\" Brandon said. \"Maggie, Maggie.\"\n\n\"We're not kids anymore, are we?\"\n\n\"Maybe not, but we have years of fun left in us.\" He kissed her on the top of her head. \"Decades.\"\n\nAs they watched the stars come out, he talked to her about the work he was doing with his family, and he asked her about her catering business and what was up with her and Olivia at Carriage Hill. They talked about adventure travel and treasure hunts left over from Dylan's father.\n\nThe night turned dark, stars glittering overhead. Maggie watched the fire die down, just glowing coals now. At least she'd had the sense to wear jeans and a sweatshirt given the cool temperature. The mosquitoes left them alone.\n\nFinally she said, \"I was so afraid of wanting to be back in Knights Bridge\u2014wanting to raise Aidan and Tyler here\u2014that I ended up blaming you. I had to come home because we were on the skids. It was an excuse.\" She picked at a loose thread on the blanket, then looked up at him. \"It was a bad excuse, and it hurt you and the boys. And me.\"\n\n\"I'd talked you into thinking it'd be a sign of failure to come back here, and that I didn't want to.\"\n\nShe grunted. \"You didn't want to, Brandon. I've been listening to you say you couldn't wait to get out of Knights Bridge and then that you never wanted to go back for years.\"\n\n\"Yeah. I know.\" He shrugged. \"But things change.\"\n\nMaggie sat up straight, shocked. \"You want to be here?\"\n\n\"Pretty much.\" He grinned that easy Sloan grin. \"My family's been waiting to hear me say that since I was just out of diapers. Maggie, I don't care if you needed someone to blame for wanting to come back here for the boys\u2014for yourself. I can take it.\"\n\n\"I was so afraid of being impractical and impulsive. Starting my own business, buying a fixer-upper.\" She pushed hair out of her face. \"Oh, Brandon. I've been such an idiot.\"\n\n\"No, you haven't. I shut down. I told myself you and the boys would be better off on your own.\"\n\n\"You were wrong,\" she said, more forcefully than she'd intended. \"I know you've been through a rough period and you're being responsible, but I don't want you to give up your dreams. Not for my sake.\"\n\n\"When I lost my job, I felt like my dreams were what got us into trouble, and I dug a hole deeper for you and the boys.\" He touched a finger to her chin. \"There's a lot of history between us, Maggie. When I lost my job, I felt like a failure. I felt like everything I'd told you for years about what I was going to do, how we were going to live, was just a lot of BS.\"\n\n\"We were teenagers, Brandon. I wasn't going to hold you to what you said when you were seventeen.\"\n\n\"Or twenty-five? Thirty? And there you were, still filled with such dreams yourself. I felt like mine had only caused trouble for you and the boys, dug us a deeper hole. I put myself and my pride before you.\"\n\n\"You put words in my mouth, especially about money.\"\n\n\"They were what I was telling myself.\"\n\n\"I didn't know what to do. You've always been there for me, Brandon. Then you weren't. Or you were, but you didn't believe that you were. I never saw you as a screwup. You always had such hope and optimism. I didn't realize how much that meant to me until they weren't there.\"\n\n\"We went through a hard year.\"\n\n\"Maybe, but I'm stronger because of it. I'd never lived on my own. I'm not saying I needed to, but it worked out.\"\n\n\"I know it did. I can see it in you. The confidence.\" He shifted, his eyes lost in the shadows. \"I never wanted you to trim your dreams to make me look good. I'm not that kind of guy. In fact, I think that kind of guy's a jerk.\"\n\nShe smiled, even as she wanted to cry. \"I don't want you to give up on your dreams. I couldn't stand it.\"\n\n\"I haven't. This adventure travel gig's right up my alley.\" He leaned back on his outstretched arms. \"We'll see what happens. I know now that the only dream that matters is being with you and the boys.\"\n\n\"I know,\" Maggie said, up on her knees now, at eye level with him as she touched his dark hair. \"Deep down, I've always known.\"\n\nHe flicked a mosquito off her shoulder. \"The bugs have found us.\"\n\n\"What do you say we could go into your tent now?\"\n\n\"I thought you hated camping.\"\n\n\"It's not the camping part I'm thinking about.\"\n\n\"We worry about Phoebe,\" he said, \"but it's Noah we should worry about. The guy has no idea what he's in for getting involved with an O'Dunn.\"\nTwenty-Three\n\nPhoebe was alone in a room dedicated to Noah's collection of antique swords. The lighting and climate controls were set to protect the contents of the room. It was at the back of the house, on the second floor above the pool. She'd already dipped her feet into its warm, silky water. Noah had watched her from the patio. She'd smiled at him, mumbled something about the Southern California sun and her freckles. He'd smiled back and said nothing.\n\nHe was letting her get acquainted with his world, she thought as she leaned in close and studied the ornate handle\u2014or whatever it was called\u2014of another sword, an eighteenth-century French rapier.\n\n\"Note the shape of the blade,\" he said, coming into the small room. \"It's specifically designed for thrusting.\"\n\nShe stood straight. \"Thrusting as in...\"\n\n\"Just what it sounds like.\" He pointed at another sword next to it. \"This blade has a double edge. It's a bit longer. It can be used for thrusting but it can also slash.\"\n\n\"It's a fascinating subject.\"\n\n\"There are a lot of technical terms but it's not as complicated as it might seem,\" He nodded to the sharp tip of the first rapier. \"One touch in the right place is all it takes to kill one's opponent.\"\n\n\"Are you a thruster or a slasher, or is that too simplistic?\" She smiled. \"I'm sure I have a lot to learn.\"\n\nHis eyes held hers. \"I'd like to teach you.\"\n\nPhoebe tried to ignore a flutter in the pit of her stomach as she moved to another display. \"You have quite a collection here. One antique sword led to another antique sword?\"\n\n\"It was something to do on quiet nights after work,\" he said. \"What do you do?\"\n\n\"Lately I've been fixing up my house.\"\n\n\"You have your family and friends, too.\"\n\n\"Don't you?\"\n\n\"I have a small family and a few good friends. I know and like a lot of people, mostly from work, fencing, karate.\"\n\n\"Hollywood,\" Phoebe added.\n\nHe shrugged. \"Some.\" He walked over to her. \"This one is nineteenth-century Persian. Eventually I'll donate most of this collection to charity, to help young martial art athletes.\"\n\n\"You'll still fence and do karate.\"\n\nIt wasn't really a question but he nodded.\n\n\"And NAK?\"\n\n\"We'll see.\"\n\nPhoebe pretended to study the ornate sword but was intensely aware of his presence. They were alone, unlikely to be interrupted. They'd flown overnight. Now...she had to consider where she'd sleep.\n\nShe cleared her throat. \"Olivia and I were talking on the way to the airport. I mentioned that I've been reading about intensive seminars in entrepreneurship. New entrepreneurs spend a long weekend or even two or three months immersed in how to set up their own company. She said you and Dylan would be naturals. You could use the adventure travel barn for classes. People could stay at Carriage Hill. It's a thought, anyway.\"\n\nNoah was so close now she could almost feel his breath. \"It's a good thought,\" he said. \"It would give me another reason to be in Knights Bridge.\"\n\nShe shifted her attention back to the sword but couldn't focus on the details. She saw Noah in Knights Bridge. Saw him in winter, skating with her on the little homemade outdoor rink on the common. Saw him careening down a snow-covered hill in a toboggan with her and her nephews.\n\nIt all felt so right when just a short time ago she couldn't have pictured him in her small town at all.\n\nOr herself in San Diego, with him, and yet here she was.\n\n\"Phoebe.\" He stood next to her and took her hands, kissed her lightly on the lips. \"Come on. I'll show you the rest of the upstairs.\"\n\nHe explained that the house was new. He'd only moved in six months ago. It wasn't massive, certainly not as massive as he could afford. He'd hired a decorator because he hadn't had the time or the inclination to figure out what to do with each room, never mind what furnishings to use. He'd been satisfied with the results, but Phoebe realized that he didn't care that much about the specifics\u2014things like whether a refrigerator was stainless-steel or avocado-green. He'd wanted comfort, soothing colors, space where he could move, relax, think and entertain.\n\n\"Not that I entertain that much,\" he said as they came to the master bedroom. \"You're the first person I've had in here except for the decorators. I gave Olivia the grand tour when she was here with Dylan but we skipped this room.\"\n\n\"It's beautiful,\" Phoebe said, trying to ignore the catch in her throat. The room was all grayed neutrals and sleek lines. She walked to the windows that looked out at the bay. \"The view is breathtaking.\"\n\n\"That's San Diego for you.\"\n\nHe sat on the king-size bed. It was simply made up, the sheets pulled back, white-cased pillows piled at the headboard. Phoebe felt a tingle of awareness as she looked at him. He leaned back on one arm, his eyes a deeper blue than the sky and ocean outside the windows. A nighttime blue. A blue as intense and enigmatic as he was.\n\nThere were several guestrooms. She had only to pick one. He'd told her so in that steady manner he had. But as he watched her from his bed, she knew what his preference was.\n\nShe walked over to him and sat next to him, not quite touching. \"Noah, there's something you need to know about me.\"\n\n\"I want to know everything about you.\"\n\nShe turned to him, placing one knee on the bed. \"Everyone thinks I've given up on love and romance. I thought I had, too.\" She realized she felt comfortable talking to him, and the tension went out of her. She smiled. \"Then I found Daphne Stewart's sewing room in the library attic, and I started to see that I hadn't given up. I argued with myself.\"\n\n\"You didn't want to expose yourself to being hurt again,\" he said. \"Or expose your family to your pain.\"\n\n\"And I didn't want things to change. I liked my life.\" She put her hand on his upper arm. \"I've been torn ever since I saw those dresses, felt the presence\u2014the dreams and hopes\u2014of the woman who created them. They connected with me on the deepest level. I didn't see that at first.\"\n\n\"Sneaking into the ball in your Edwardian gown was part of the war with yourself,\" he said, brushing a curl off her face. \"I think I saw that. It's part of why I noticed you.\" He smiled, letting his hand drift along the line of her jaw. \"Also because you were so damn beautiful.\"\n\nShe laughed. \"It was the black wig.\"\n\nHis eyes sparked with amusement, and something else. Awareness, she thought. Desire. He leaned closer to her. \"It wasn't the black wig,\" he said softly. \"Trust me.\"\n\n\"I do trust you. The moment you swept me onto that ballroom dance floor, I knew I could trust you.\"\n\n\"Sure that's not just jet lag talking?\"\n\nShe smiled. \"Very sure.\"\n\n\"I love you, Phoebe. I don't know if I've ever known what love could be until I spotted you in your princess dress. It got even better when I ran into you hunting slugs, making pesto, warding off a chilly morning in an old sweater at the library.\"\n\n\"I'm not what you're used to\u2014\"\n\n\"I love you, Phoebe. Not some idea of you.\"\n\nHis hand eased over her shoulder. She had on a sleeveless top, could feel the warmth of his skin on hers.\n\n\"Daphne has invited us to lunch at her home in Hollywood Hills,\" Noah said. \"Julius Hartley and Loretta will join us. That's on Thursday. Then I thought we could drive up the coast to my winery. When do you have to be back at work?\"\n\n\"Whenever I want.\" She placed her hand on his, on her shoulder. \"If I want to go back. My future's wide open, too.\"\n\nThey were lost then. She could see it in his eyes, feel it as he withdrew his hand from hers and skimmed it down her bare arm. He was so close to her. So impossibly sexy. She reeled with a desire that was scarily intense and unrelenting. It made her feel vulnerable and open, as if she couldn't hide anything from Noah even if she wanted to\u2014even if she tried.\n\nHe was deliberate, as smooth and centered as he had been when he'd taken her into his arms in Boston, when he'd helped her pick basil and mint and she'd watched him chase after Buster.\n\nWhen he'd pushed his way through the debris from the storm and found her and her nephews in the library attic.\n\nHe was careful of her cuts, asked her if she was okay. She knew what he meant. Her heart skipped as she looked at him in the milky light. Their clothes were already scattered. She took in the ripples of lean muscle on his chest and arms. Damn, she thought. She could have stitches and she still wouldn't want to stop now.\n\nShe nodded. \"Don't worry.\" She draped her arms over his shoulders, heard the raggedness in her voice. How was she supposed to talk when she could hardly breathe? When her body was tingling, quaking for him to touch her. She managed a smile. \"No holding back.\"\n\nHe responded immediately, lowering her onto the bed, easing on top of her. Every touch, every caress, every kiss made her ache with wanting him. He left no inch of her, no part of her, untouched. As tender as he was, he was hard all over. She touched him everywhere, explored his body, touching, tasting. He was so controlled, so focused...until he wasn't.\n\nWhen he sank into her, she cried out, felt him try to ease up, to slow down, but it didn't work\u2014and she didn't want it to. She grabbed hold of his hips and gave herself up to him and the sensations taking over her.\n\n\"Phoebe,\" he breathed. \"Phoebe...\"\n\nShe heard the concern in his voice even as he didn't slacken his pace, didn't stop. \"I'm okay.\" She clutched him. \"I love you, Noah.\"\n\nShe barely got the words out before they both lost control. She'd never experienced anything like it before. Time seemed suspended. It was as if they were the only two people in the universe. She cried out with abandon, wrapped her legs around him as he drove into her one last time.\n\nThey collapsed together. She could feel his heart racing, his skin warm under her palms. She'd dreamed of mind-blowing sex with a man she loved but had convinced herself it would never happen.\n\nAnd yet here she was, with Noah.\n\nHe turned onto his side and locked his eyes with hers. After a moment, he touched the curve of one finger to her cheek. \"Why didn't you tell me that you'd never\u2014\"\n\n\"Because it doesn't matter.\" She caught her breath. \"Didn't matter.\"\n\nHe kissed her softly. \"I'll be more careful next time.\"\n\nShe took his hand into hers and smiled. \"I hope not.\"\n\n* * *\n\nNoah enjoyed showing Phoebe the NAK offices. She wanted to see everything and talk to everyone, and she was interested in every detail of NAK's work. He'd already met with his executive team and set up a formal meeting to redefine his role with the company.\n\nThings were changing, because\u2014well, things always changed.\n\nAnd because of Phoebe. He loved talking to her. He loved listening to her, and making love to her. After two days together, he was as certain as ever that they belonged together. She was kind, intelligent, courageous and so damn beautiful.\n\nShe was also still at least a little afraid of what the changes loving him meant for her.\n\n\"I thought I could predict my future,\" she said as she looked out at the view from his office windows. \"But then you decided to dog sit Buster.\"\n\n\"I knew Olivia had an idea of who my princess was.\"\n\n\"If you hadn't stayed in Knights Bridge, my swashbuckler would have remained a mirage.\" She smiled at him. \"But you're no mirage.\"\n\nHe expected he'd proved that over the past two days. He winked at her. \"You've got that right, princess.\" He stood next to her, slipping an arm around her waist. \"My best friend is marrying one of your best friends. We'd have found each other.\"\n\nPhoebe leaned against his arm. \"I can't wait for Olivia and Dylan's wedding. I love a happy ending.\"\n\nNoah kissed her on the top of her head. They'd showered together that morning, and he could still smell the shampoo she'd used on her hair. \"Phoebe...\" For the first time since she'd arrived in San Diego, he found himself struggling for the right words. He'd had an engagement ring delivered to his house at the winery. The timing didn't feel too soon. It felt just right. Perfect, even. Finally smiled at her. \"We'll write our own happy ending.\"\n\nHer smile reached her eyes. \"We already are.\"\n\nThey headed down to the lobby together. They didn't want to keep Daphne Stewart waiting. They'd take their time driving up the coast to his winery and enjoying their stay there.\n\nThen they'd go back to Knights Bridge.\n\n* * * * *\nDear Reader,\n\nThank you for reading That Night on Thistle Lane. I hope you enjoyed the story! Since I grew up in a small town on the western edge of the Quabbin Reservoir, I'm having the best time writing books set in the Swift River Valley and surrounding hills. You can find scenes and even a video on my website depicting this beautiful part of rural New England.\n\nI've appreciated hearing from people with ties to the \"lost\" towns of Dana, Enfield, Greenwich and Prescott, all depopulated and razed to create the massive reservoir. Old roads and trails lace the protected wilderness, much of it open to the public. When I walk there, I look for cellar holes and other remnants of the people who used to live in this beautiful valley, but most of all I just enjoy the incredible scenery.\n\nIf you haven't read Dylan and Olivia's story yet, it's called Secrets of the Lost Summer. It actually starts in early spring, when those of us in northern climates are eager for March to turn into a lamb.\n\nI'm looking forward to whatever's next for fictional Knights Bridge and the Frosts, Sloans, O'Dunns...and, of course, our guys from San Diego, Dylan McCaffrey and Noah Kendrick. It's a lot of fun for me, and I'm so glad to have you join me!\n\nPlease visit www.carlaneggers.com for updates, links, goodies and photos, and join me on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. And write to me anytime at Carla@CarlaNeggers.com. I'd love to hear from you.\n\nHappy reading,\n\nWe hope you enjoyed this Harlequin ebook. Connect with us for info on our new releases, access to exclusive offers, free online reads and much more!\n\nSubscribe to our newsletter: Harlequin.com\/newsletters\n\nVisit Harlequin.com\n\nWe like you\u2014why not like us on Facebook: Facebook.com\/HarlequinBooks\n\nFollow us on Twitter: Twitter.com\/HarlequinBooks\n\nRead our blog for all the latest news on our authors and books: HarlequinBlog.com\nISBN: 9781460303283\n\nCopyright \u00a9 2013 by Carla Neggers\n\nAll rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.\n\nThis is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.\n\n\u00ae and \u2122 are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with \u00ae are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.\n\nwww.Harlequin.com\n","meta":{"redpajama_set_name":"RedPajamaBook"}}
+{"text":"\n\n\n\nProduced by Karin Spence, Juliet Sutherland and the Online\nDistributed Proofreading Team at http:\/\/www.pgdp.net\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n  [Illustration: _From the painting by F. Brangwyn_\n\n  \"THEIR LANTERN JUST BROUGHT OUT THE GHOSTLINESS OF GRAVESTONES LEANING\n  BETWEEN THE COLUMNS OF THE CYPRESSES\"\n\n  _See \"The Valley of Mills,\" page 659_]\n\n\n\n\n  McCLURE'S MAGAZINE\n\n  VOL. XXXI OCTOBER, 1908 No. 6\n\n\n\n\n  [Illustration]\n\nFAMILIAR LETTERS OF AUGUSTUS SAINT-GAUDENS\n\nEDITED BY ROSE STANDISH NICHOLS\n\nILLUSTRATED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS\n\n_Copyright, 1908, by The S. S. McClure Co. All rights reserved_\n\n\nThese familiar letters from Augustus Saint-Gaudens show the artist as\nhis intimate friends knew him. They were written at odd moments, often\nin haste, and never with a shadow of self-consciousness. They are\ninteresting, not as literary productions, but as the simple record of a\ncritical period in his career.\n\n\"Le Coeur au Metier,\" the motto which he wished to place in his studio,\nwill be seen to express the spirit of his life. Other keen interests\nhe had, but they were never allowed to interfere with his work, and\nhe seldom felt the need of any recreation apart from it. One of his\nfriends used to complain that in the midst of their merrymaking an\nabstracted look would come into his eyes and his mind would hark\nback to sculpture. Although he was extremely modest and was given to\nunderrating his powers in other directions, from his childhood he\nconfidently expected to be a great artist. As a little school-boy, sent\nfrom his father's shop to do errands, he would sit in the omnibus and\nlook about at his well-dressed fellow-passengers, and wonder what they\nwould think if they realized what he was going to be some day. But even\nas a child he never dreamed of achieving his ambition without years of\nceaseless struggle.\n\nWhen the boy left school, at the age of thirteen, this struggle began.\nIn 1848 his father, a Frenchman, had brought his Irish wife and his\nbaby, Augustus, to New York, where he worked as a shoemaker. He was\npoor, and was anxious that his eldest son should become self-supporting\nas soon as possible; so at thirteen the boy was apprenticed to a\ncameo-cutter, whose trade he mastered with surprising readiness, at the\nsame time studying drawing at the Cooper Institute in the evenings. In\na little while he was not only earning his own living by cameo-cutting,\nbut excelled all his fellow-pupils at the night-school in talent and\nperseverance.\n\n  [Illustration: AUGUSTUS SAINT-GAUDENS FROM A PHOTOGRAPH IN THE\n  COLLECTION OF MRS. ROSE NICHOLS]\n\nSaint-Gaudens' artistic education was completed in Europe, where he\nwent at the age of eighteen and stayed almost continuously for nearly\nfourteen years. His father sent him first to Paris. There his progress\nin the art schools was marked, although he continued to support himself\nby his trade, and could give only half his time to sculpture. At the\noutbreak of the Franco-Prussian War he reluctantly refrained from\nenlisting in the French army and left for Italy. It was in Rome that\nhe first found sculpture remunerative, and finally was able to drop\ncameo-cutting. The years from 1866 to 1880, which he spent in Rome and\nParis, with only occasional visits to America, were singularly happy\nones, characterized by a capacity for continuous work at a high pitch\nof excellence.\n\nThe letters from Saint-Gaudens printed here were written eighteen\nyears later, when the sculptor had come into full possession of his\ngenius. They cover a most critical period in his career, and record\nhis greatest artistic triumph--his recognition in France as one of the\nforemost of modern sculptors. After he returned to the United States\nin 1880 he lived and worked in New York, and by 1897 had built up a\nnational reputation. His work was progressing under the most favorable\nconditions, with the encouragement of an ever-increasing circle of\nfriends and admirers. On the other hand, in France, his father's\ncountry, where he himself had been educated, his work was practically\nunknown. A few of his former comrades at the Beaux-Arts, judging his\nsculpture from photographs, did not hesitate to tell Saint-Gaudens\nthat it had been over-praised in America and would obtain no such\nappreciation in France. The sculptor felt that, in order to learn\nhis own deficiencies and to find out where he really stood among his\ncontemporaries, he must return to Paris, exhibit at the Salon, and run\nthe gauntlet of the best critics. All his friends on both sides of the\nwater discouraged him from taking this step, and he himself dreaded it;\nbut he believed that, in justice to himself and to his work, he must\nmake this venture.\n\nAfter his decision was made, however, his departure had to be postponed\nuntil various duties were fulfilled. The Shaw and Logan monuments had\nfirst to be completed and unveiled, and a number of smaller commissions\nhad to be executed. From the beginning of his work upon the Shaw\nmemorial there had been bitter opposition upon the part of his friends\nto the symbolical figure hovering above Colonel Shaw and his men, but\nthe sculptor clung to his original conception with great tenacity.\nSaint-Gaudens' best friend, Bion, a Parisian sculptor and critic, whose\nopinion he valued highly, had never liked the idea of this figure.\nJust before Bion's death he received a photograph of the monument as\nfinished in the clay, and he wrote a long letter to Saint-Gaudens,\ncomplaining that the angel was as superfluous as a figure of Simplicity\nwould be, floating in the air above the bent figures in Millet's\n\"Gleaners,\" and concluding: \"I had no need of your 'nom de Dieu'\nallegory on the ceiling. Your <DW64>s marching in step and your Colonel\nleading them told me enough. Your priestess merely bores me as she\ntries to impress upon me the beauty of their action.\"\n\n  [Illustration: CARYATID FOR THE VANDERBILT HOUSE]\n\nConcerning this letter of Bion's, Saint-Gaudens wrote:\n\n                               \"The Players, New York, Jan. 26th, 1897\n\n     \"Dear ----\n\n     \"I meant to write you at length tonight but I started with a\n     letter to Bion which has kept me busy till now, 11 P.M. It is in\n     reply to the one from him that I enclose, in which at the end he\n     says a word of you.\n\n     \"I am not disturbed by his dislike of my figure. It is because\n     it does not look well in the photograph. If the figure in itself\n     looked well, he would have liked it, I know, and notwithstanding\n     his admirable comparison with the Millet I still think that a\n     figure, if well done in that relation to the rest of the scheme,\n     is a fine thing to do. The Greeks and Romans did it finely in\n     their sculpture. After all it's the way the thing's done that\n     makes it right or wrong, that's about the only creed I have in\n     art. However his letter is interesting, although very sad, dear\n     old boy.\n\n  [Illustration: DETAIL FROM THE SHAW MEMORIAL, SHOWING THE ALLEGORICAL\n  FIGURE FULL FACE, AS IN THE FIRST DESIGN]\n\n  [Illustration: _Copley print, copyrighted by Curtis and Cameron_\n\n  DETAIL FROM THE SHAW MEMORIAL, SHOWING THE ALLEGORICAL FIGURE WITH THE\n  HEAD TURNED MORE IN PROFILE, AS IN THE FINAL EXECUTION]\n\n     \"All of the Shaw is out of the studio. They cast the Logan on\n     Monday and I am working like the devil on the Sherman. I've found\n     precisely the model I wished, just his size, the same pose of the\n     head and the same thinness; a Milanese peasant who poses like a\n     rock. Next week I commence the nude of the Victory from a South\n     Carolinian girl with a figure like a goddess.\n\n                                           \"Affectionately yours\n                                                            A. ST.-G.\"\n\nBion died shortly after writing his objections to the allegorical\nfigure, and if anything could have changed Saint-Gaudens' decision\nregarding his composition of the Shaw monument, his friend's letter\nwould certainly have done so. Although Saint-Gaudens and Bion had\nstudied sculpture together at the Beaux-Arts in their youth, it was\nnot until years afterward that, through a constant interchange of\nletters, their relation became a close one. Bion gave up sculpture as\na profession, and devoted himself to friendship and philosophy. He\ndropped into the studios of a few intimates every day, frequented art\nexhibitions, and attended lectures upon philosophy and psychology at\nthe Sorbonne or the College de France; but the long letters which he\nused to write Saint-Gaudens every week became more and more the chief\nbusiness of his life. He kept his friend informed as to what was going\non in Paris; of the doings of their little circle of acquaintances; and\nwrote him detailed descriptions of all important events in the world\nof art, besides giving him a great deal of disinterested advice upon\nevery conceivable subject, including his work and the conduct of his\nlife. Saint-Gaudens used to reply at great length, but his letters were\ndestroyed, according to directions left in his friend's will. When the\nnews of Bion's death reached Saint-Gaudens, he wrote:\n\n                                     \"148 W. 36th St., Feb. 17th, 1897\n\n     \"Of course the one thing on my mind, the terrible spectre that\n     looms up, is poor Bion's death; night and day, at all moments, it\n     comes over me like a wave that overwhelms me, and it takes away\n     all heart that I may have in anything. Today, however, I have had\n     a kind of sad feeling of companionship with him, that seems to\n     bring him to me, in working over the head of the flying figure of\n     the Shaw. The bronze founders are not ready for it yet. I have had\n     a stamp made of the figure and have helped it a great deal, I am\n     sure you will think. You know that Thayer told me he thought an\n     idea I once had of turning the head more profile, was a better one\n     than that I had evolved, and I've always wished to do it. It is\n     done, and it's the feeling of death and mystery and love in the\n     making of it that brought my friend back to me so much today....\n     But the young, thank Heaven, do not feel these blows so profoundly\n     as do older people. In one of my blue fits the other day I felt\n     the end of all things, and reasoning from one thing to the other\n     and about the hopelessness of trying to fathom what it all means,\n     I reached this: that we know nothing, (of course) but a deep\n     conviction came over me like a flash that at the bottom of it all,\n     whatever it is, the mystery must be beneficent. It does not seem\n     as if the bottom of all were something malevolent; and the thought\n     was a great comfort.\n\n  [Illustration: _Copley print, copyrighted by Curtis and Cameron_\n\n  MONUMENT TO COLONEL ROBERT GOULD SHAW, ERECTED AT BOSTON]\n\n     \"I shall be all the week at the figure. I've made an olive branch\n     instead of the palm,--it looks less 'Christian martyr'-like,--and\n     I have lightened and simplified the drapery a great deal. I had\n     not seen it for two or three months and I had a fresh impression.\n\n     \"At 27th Street I've finished the nude of the Sherman and next\n     week I begin to put his clothes on him. I had another day with the\n     model for the Victory last Sunday, and that, too, is progressing\n     rapidly. Zorn, the Swedish artist, was with me all day Sunday\n     making an etching of me while the model rested; it is an admirable\n     thing and I will send you a copy of it.\n\n     \"The studio is once more in a fearful condition with the casting\n     of the Logan, and the getting of the Puritan ready to photograph\n     and cast for the Boston Museum and to send abroad to have the\n     reductions made....\n\n     \"This letter is no good, but it must go; the clatter of seven\n     moulders and sculptors does not help to the expression or the\n     development of thought, confusion only----\n\n                                                \"Affectionately\n                                                            A. ST.-G.\"\n\n                                               \"May 15th or 16th, 1897\n\n     \"The Shaw goes to Boston on Thursday or Friday. I've done little\n     else lately but run around about it until I am frantic. On the\n     other hand, while waiting for some workmen yesterday, I had a\n     great walk in the Babylonian East Side here. It was a beautiful\n     day and one of great impressions.\n\n     \"I have not commenced the Howells medallion yet, as I expected to\n     be absent. I believe I told you I had a nice note from him.\n\n                                                            A. ST.-G.\"\n\n  [Illustration: MURAL PLAQUE ERECTED IN MEMORY OF DR. JAMES McCOSH]\n\nThe Shaw memorial was unveiled in Boston, in the latter part of May,\n1897. The erection of the monument had been so long delayed that\nSaint-Gaudens feared that the public had lost interest in the work, or\nwould expect too much and be disappointed. On the contrary, its success\nwas immediate, and made him very happy. Its appeal was to men of every\ncondition, laymen as well as artists, and nothing ever pleased the\nsculptor more than the way it arrested the attention of almost every\npasser-by. In June, scarcely a month after the unveiling of the Shaw,\nanother soldier's monument, the equestrian statue of General Logan, was\nunveiled at Chicago, and Saint-Gaudens went there to be present at the\nceremony.\n\n  [Illustration: STATUE OF PETER COOPER, NEW YORK]\n\n                             \"1142 The Rookery, Chicago, June 23, 1897\n\n     \"I am again at the top of this big building here, and I will\n     give you some description of the last 24 hours. At one o'clock\n     yesterday Mrs. Deering, Mrs. French, Mr. French (brother and\n     sister-in-law of Dan French) and I were placed in one carriage,\n     Mr. Deering, Mrs. St. G. and the editor of the 'Chicago Tribune'\n     in another, and in the wake of a lot of other carriages and\n     followed by a procession of them, we drove to the big stand. A\n     great day; with a high wind and glorious sun. I was put in one\n     of the seats in the Holy of Holies alongside of Mrs. Logan,\n     if you please, and the president of the ceremonies. A lot of\n     speeches, one of which was very good, and at the right moment the\n     complicated arrangement of flags dropped, the cannon fired, the\n     band played, Mrs. Logan wept, and I posed for a thousand snap\n     photographs, 'a gleam of triumph passed over my face,' think of\n     that! (vide 'Chicago Tribune').\n\n  [Illustration: THE LOGAN MONUMENT, ERECTED AT CHICAGO]\n\n     \"However, the monument looks impressive as I see it this morning\n     for the first time with much of the disfiguring scaffolding gone.\n     I stay here until Sunday, when I take the 5.30 P.M. train and\n     shall get to New York Monday at 6 or 7. Last night we went to a\n     great golf place where high merriment prevailed. This afternoon to\n     Fort Sheridan. Tonight a reception at the Art Institute; tomorrow\n     a lawn party at Burnham's and Sunday a visit to the great dredging\n     canal; on Monday the cars and rest.\"\n\nAfter the sculptor's return from Chicago, he continued his preparations\nfor departure in New York.\n\n                                          \"The Players, August 7, 1897\n\n     \"Brander Matthews has just come and interrupted this with a long\n     and interesting talk on the conventional in art and an article he\n     has written and sent to Scribner's on it. You have often wondered\n     what I think about things--I wonder myself; I think anything and\n     everything. This seeing a subject so that I can side with either\n     side with equal sympathy and equal convictions I sometimes think a\n     weakness. Then again I'm thinking it a strength.\n\n     \"Last night I dined with X---- and Y---- and passed a delightful\n     evening with them. X---- cracked his constructed jokes and\n     manufactured his silversmith puns, and cackled over them. We\n     talked literature, English, French, and Taine's great work on\n     English literature. We afterward went to the open air concert\n     at the Madison Square Garden, and when we were not talking of\n     anything else we talked on that subject of eternal interest and\n     mystery 'les femmes.'\"\n\nFinally, in the autumn of 1897, after both the Shaw and Logan monuments\nhad been unveiled, and various minor obstacles to his departure had\nbeen removed, Saint-Gaudens was ready to leave America. Opposition to\nhis plan still came from every side. Many of his friends in New York\nseemed to feel that he was casting a certain reproach upon his country\nby his desire to profit by foreign criticism and to measure his work\nby European standards. They prophesied that his work would deteriorate\nunder French influence. His few friends in Paris were equally\ndiscouraging. They did not hesitate to warn him that if he persisted\nin coming there he must be prepared to face indifference and failure.\nEven Bion, when Saint-Gaudens had asked him to get the opinions of a\nfew French artists upon photographs of the Shaw memorial, had refused\nto do so, saying: \"I shan't show your photographs to anyone. Shiff,\nMacMonnies, and Proctor have seen them, my poor old friend, and the\nothers do not know you. They are quite indifferent about what goes on\noutside their own little show.\"\n\nSaint-Gaudens himself feared that he might be making a serious mistake.\nThe ocean voyage in itself was an ordeal to him, and before leaving\nhe wrote: \"I continue fencing and am preparing for the voyage as one\nprepares for a fight. I go to the theatre and that tides over the\nblue hours which lie between dinner and bed-time.\" But he felt that\nhe must make the venture, whatever lay before him, and that he could\nnever be satisfied until he had stood the test of a comparison with\nhis chief contemporaries and until his work had been passed upon by\nthe most sophisticated and penetrating critics of art. At the end of\nSeptember, 1897, accompanied by his wife and his son, Homer, he sailed\nfor England. After crossing to France, he thus described his first\nimpressions:\n\n                                \"Hotel Normandy, Paris, Nov. 7th, 1897\n\n     \"The beauty of the scenery and of the English homes and villages\n     on the railroad from Southampton to London recalled the delightful\n     impression of the last trip, when I was so light-hearted. The\n     sense of order and thrift appealed to me strongly in comparison\n     with the shiftlessness of America. Then London with its\n     extraordinary impression of power and also of order. Homer and I\n     went to see Hamlet. Read it, R----. As I grow older, the greatness\n     of Shakspeare looms higher and higher; every line, every word is\n     so deep, so true, 'never offending the modesty of nature withal,'\n     as Hamlet himself advises the players.\n\n     \"From London we came on the following day to Paris. The country\n     between Calais and Dover seemed very grand; great rolling lands\n     with immense fields being ploughed in the waning day. The peace,\n     simplicity, and calm of it all was profoundly impressive. Just a\n     ploughman and a boy, alone in the country on a hillside, following\n     the horses and the plough along the deep, straight furrows; no\n     fences, a clear sky with the half moon, and only a small clump or\n     two of trees--all so orderly and grand.\"\n\nFor the first few weeks in Paris Saint-Gaudens was miserable. His\nstudio, on the Rue de Bagneux, in the Latin Quarter, was large and\ncheerful, with comfortable quarters adjoining for his assistants, and\nhe was extremely interested in his work upon the equestrian statue\nof General Sherman. But he missed his old friends and haunts in New\nYork, the weather was gloomy and depressing, and he felt enervated and\nhomesick. Almost none of the friends of his student days were there to\nwelcome him back to Paris, and he was not in the mood to make new ones.\nDr. Shiff, a retired physician with a philosophic turn of mind, and\nmany years the sculptor's senior, was the only man he could count upon\nfor regular companionship, though occasionally an old friend like Henry\nAdams, John Alexander, or Garnier would drop into the studio. John\nSargent was another warm friend who helped to keep up his spirits and\nwhom he admired intensely both as a man and as an artist. With Helleu,\nthe etcher, they enjoyed spending a day or two at Chartres and Rheims.\nIn the following letter he describes his first meeting with Whistler:\n\n                                               \"Paris, Nov. 16th, 1897\n\n     \"Mac and I made a short call on Whistler, whom I found much more\n     human than I imagined him to be, and today I went to the Court of\n     Appeals where a trial of his was to come off--it didn't,--but I\n     had a delightful chat with him. He is a very attractive man with\n     very queer clothes, a kind of 1830 coat with an enormous collar\n     greater even than those of that period; a monocle, a strong jaw,\n     very frizzly hair with a white mesh in it, and an extraordinary\n     hat.\"\n\nThe brightest spot in Saint-Gaudens' winter was his visit to the south\nof France and to Italy, in the company of his friend Garnier, who, like\nBion, had been a fellow-student of his at the Ecole des Beaux-Arts\nyears before. They left Paris in December, and went almost directly to\nAspet and Salies du Salat, Gascon villages where Saint-Gaudens' father\nwas born and where he worked at his trade as a young man. This was the\nfirst time that Augustus Saint-Gaudens had visited that country on the\nSpanish frontier where his paternal ancestors had lived for centuries\nand where many of their name still survived.\n\n                                                \"Aspet, December, 1897\n\n     \"I write this in the village where my father was born and\n     today has been one of the most delightful days of my life. I\n     have invited my old friend Garnier (a dear friend and the most\n     delightful of companions) to travel with me. We left Paris\n     yesterday morning and slept at Toulouse last night. We left there\n     this morning before dawn and saw the sun rise over the Pyrenees on\n     our way to Salies du Salat, a most picturesque and dirty village\n     at the foot of the beautiful mountains. I inquired at the station\n     if any Saint-Gaudens lived there. 'Yes, opposite the mairie.' We\n     walked up a narrow Spanish-looking street and there was a little\n     shoe-store and on it the sign 'Saint-Gaudens.' I woke my cousin\n     up. His is the very house where father passed his childhood. We\n     three walked over the town up to the cradle of the 'Comminges'\n     just back of father's house, and we went around on the sward and\n     on the old moat where the children now play and where his father\n     and my father played when children. I cannot describe to you how I\n     was moved by it all.\n\n     \"After a characteristic dejeuner with the cousin, a typical French\n     peasant, and his typical wife, we hired a wagon with two horses\n     and drove three hours into the mountains through a wonderfully\n     beautiful country, very Spanish in character, to this delightful\n     village. Here father was born, and baptized in the little church\n     right at hand from where I write. There are delightful fountains\n     at every corner and an air of thrift, order, and cleanliness that\n     you cannot imagine. We are in a nice hotel, a homelike place, and\n     tomorrow, after seeing Market Day, we walk to Saint-Gaudens, about\n     12 miles from here. It is a most romantic spot; all the country\n     and the people here have a good deal of the Spanish dignity. We\n     are 30 miles from the frontier of Spain. I must stop now because\n     my third cousin (his grandfather and mine were brothers) is\n     coming. He is the postman of the village and the surrounding\n     country, a handsome young fellow who carries the mail around on\n     horseback, and who between times makes shoes.\"\n\nLeaving this out-of-the-way corner of Gascony, under the shadow of the\nPyrenees, Saint-Gaudens and Garnier traveled by Toulouse to Marseilles.\nFrom this port the sculptor had sailed twenty-seven or eight years\nbefore, when he first went to study in Rome. Now, with his old friend,\nhe again climbed up to where the church of Notre-Dame de la Garde\noverlooks the Mediterranean, and was amused to remember the three\ndays he had spent upon that hill-top, with little to eat but figs and\nchocolate, while awaiting the departure of his ship for Italy.\n\nThe two artists went by train from Marseilles to Nice and Ventimiglia,\nand then walked along the superb Cornice road to San Remo, conscious\nthat every step brought them nearer to their beloved Italy. The hills,\ncovered with palms and orange-trees, the sacred-looking groves of\ngray-green olives detached against the deep blue of the sea, recalled\nto Saint-Gaudens a story by Anatole France describing some early\nChristians in an olive grove overlooking the Mediterranean.\n\nIn Italy they stopped first at Pisa, and did not reach Rome much before\nmidnight. Regardless of fatigue, Saint-Gaudens insisted upon starting\nout that night to revisit the favorite haunts of his student days,\ntaking the reluctant Garnier with him. At a late hour they ended their\nexcursion at the Cafe Greco, where the sculptor talked with a waiter\nwho had served him with coffee in 1871. The next morning they spent in\nthe gardens and the Bosco of the Villa Medici. Nothing seemed to them\nmuch changed, and their happiness was as great as if they had found\ntheir youth again in the land where they had left it. Saint-Gaudens\nafterward said that on the night of that arrival in Rome he felt as if\nhe were slaking a great thirst. Before their return they also visited\nthe Bay of Naples. Vivid memories of Italy were present with the\nsculptor until the end of his life, and during his last illness he said\nthat one thing he wished to live for was to take again the drive from\nSalerno to Amalfi: the vineyards clinging to the hillsides, the cliffs\nwith the blue waves breaking at their base, haunted him as a vision of\nexquisite beauty.\n\nLate in the winter Saint-Gaudens returned to Paris, and when spring\nand the pleasant weather came on he was working again with great\nenthusiasm, preparing for the Salon. His exhibit at the Champs de\nMars attracted much attention and elicited unexpected praise from the\nseverest French critics.\n\n                             \"3, rue de Bagneux, Paris, May 16th, 1898\n\n     ... \"I must be brief today for Dr. Shiff is coming in to talk,\n     and help me with his consoling philosophy as Bion did; and I must\n     work, for the model leaves shortly, and I must use him every hour\n     I can; so I will tell you briefly of what has happened.\n\n     \"This Paris experience, as far as my art goes, has been a great\n     thing for me. I never felt sure of myself before, I groped ahead.\n     All blindness seems to have been washed away. I see my place\n     clearly now, I know, or think I know, just where I stand. A great\n     self-confidence has come over me and a tremendous desire and will\n     to achieve high things, with a confidence that I shall, has taken\n     possession of me. I exhibited at the Champs de Mars and the papers\n     have spoken well and it seems as if I were having what they call\n     a 'success' here. I send you some of the extracts from several of\n     the principal artistic papers here, the 'Gazette des Beaux-Arts,'\n     'Art et Decoration,' and from the 'Dictionaire Encyclopedique\n     Larousse'; four of these have asked permission to reproduce my\n     work. The Director of the Luxembourg tells me he wishes something\n     of mine, and other friends have asked that I be given the Legion\n     of Honour. Of this latter you must say nothing, and I only speak\n     of it to give you a true idea of what impressions I am undergoing.\n\n     \"For four months it rained incessantly, but the great interest of\n     preparing for the Salon has interested me. The sunshine has been a\n     blessing, and Paris, with her smiles and green dress and the blue\n     skies overhead captivates like a beautiful woman.\n\n     \"There is something in the air here which pushes one to do\n     beautiful things; it seems something actually atmospheric,\n     something soft and gentle in the air.... Later Sargent came in\n     very good spirits. We dined and went to the theatre together\n     last night. He wished me to tell him when I go to London, as the\n     fellows there wish to give me a great 'blow off.' And so it all\n     goes; the sun is now pouring into the studio, and it all seems\n     like a great dream.\"\n\nThe article in _Art et Decoration_ to which Saint-Gaudens refers was\nwritten by Paul Leprieur. After attacking with great severity Rodin's\n\"Balzac,\" the critic said:\n\n\"The more completely to forget this sinister vision, one may well\nlinger before the work of a great sculptor, almost unknown among\nus, who reveals himself to us, so to speak, for the first time,\nwith an altogether remarkable collection of monumental sculpture\nand photographs of monuments previously executed. We refer to M.\nSaint-Gaudens, an Irishman by birth, who has worked mainly for America,\nand who was, if I mistake not, the teacher of Mr. MacMonnies--a teacher\nfar superior to his pupil. His exhibit is one of the surprises and\ndelights of the Champs de Mars.\n\n\"Had we only the photographs which he shows us--whether of his Peter\nCooper, his President Lincoln, the noble and serious allegorical figure\nfor a tomb, called the Peace of God, or the charming caryatid for the\nVanderbilt house--we could already perceive the grasp of composition,\nthe decision of the contours, the depth of the sentiment expressed\nwithout any splurge or noise. This sculpture, in its acceptance, or\ningenious re-shaping, of traditions from ancient sources, as well as in\nits modern inventiveness, imparts a savor of intimate charm, of dignity\nwithout parade, which are rare indeed in our day.\n\n\"The actual work exhibited simply confirms the impression of the\nphotographs. To say nothing of the placques and medallions, models of\na fine funeral bas-relief, and the highly entertaining and picturesque\nstatue of a Puritan, the large high-relief dedicated to the memory\nof Colonel Robert Gould Shaw may well be esteemed as a model of\nintelligent decoration.\n\n\"The idea of representing, not the death scene itself, but the moment\npreceding it, and of showing the army of blacks, led by the white\nofficer, filing by as if in a march to death, grave of mien, solemn,\nand heroic, is as novel as it is boldly treated. While presenting\nprodigies of skill (absolutely without triviality or pettiness in\nmatters of detail), and modeled with a great freedom and understanding\nof how to arrange the various groups of lines in perspective,--which\nall men of his profession will admire,--everything is kept subordinate\nto the ensemble and to the predetermined unity of motion. Upon each\nof the faces one feels more or less the reflection of the motto of\nself-sacrifice and enthusiastic faith inscribed on a flat surface in\nthe background (Omnia relinquit servare rem publicam), and the superb\nfigure of a woman with flying drapery, symbolical of glory or of death,\ncomparable to the loveliest creations in this style by Watts or Gustave\nMoreau, succeeds in giving to this very sculpturesque composition a\ndistinguished moral significance.\"\n\nTwo months later the critic Leonce Benedite, in his article on the\nsalons of 1898, wrote, in the _Gazette des Beaux-Arts_:\n\n\"It is a foreign sculptor, an American artist whose name alone had\npreviously reached us, M. Augustus Saint-Gaudens, who affords us an\nexample of a commemorative monument composed of modern elements and\nbroadly executed in the simplest and purest sculptural spirit. Half\nFrench, not only by descent, but by his whole education, trained in our\nschool,--which he honors today,--the illustrious chief of the future\nAmerican school of sculpture has produced numerous beautiful works in\nhis own country. Photographic reproductions of these accompany his\nexhibited works and demonstrate their rare dignity and grandeur of\nstyle. His beautiful mortuary statues, one of which is on exhibition at\nthe Salon, together with the caryatid of the Vanderbilt house--long and\nslender, with beautiful, severe draperies--are figures of distinguished\nelegance, of austere grace.\n\n\"But above all, the statues of President Lincoln and Peter Cooper, the\nmural tablets of Dr. McCosh and Dr. Bellows, show us with how exalted\nan appreciation of his art the American master has succeeded in making\nthe most of the complete modernity of his subjects. To be sure, he has\nnot misrepresented the characteristic local physiognomy of his models,\nor the unique effect of the accessories of costume and furniture; far\nfrom it. But with what elegance and vigor he makes them all speak to\none, from the skirt of the coat to the slightest fold of the trousers!\n\n\"We find ourselves face to face with a powerful and self-restrained\nmaster, who is able to comprehend and to express emotion, who speaks a\nsimple but expressive language, and who has the power to convince and\nto fascinate. The monument to Colonel Robert Gould Shaw, erected at\nBoston, and exhibited in plaster at the Salon, affords us a striking\nproof of this. It is a large high-relief, set in a graceful and\nexceedingly simple architectural frame. In the center a young officer,\nmounted, sword in hand, is leading a company of black soldiers who\nare marching by his side, musket on shoulder, with a drummer at their\nhead. In the upper field floats a grave and melancholy figure, flying\nhorizontally; it is Duty, and with a sweeping and eloquently mournful\ngesture she points out to them the road leading to glory and to\ndeath. The measured march of the men, the expression of resigned and\nsubmissive gravity on the faces of those <DW52> troops, contrasting\nwith the proud, absorbed energy of the young white man who leads\nthem, his beautiful young steed nervous and quivering, emphasizes\nyet more the restrained enthusiasm and patient determination of the\ncommander. All this, and even the sculptural comprehension of all this\nparaphernalia of war, impresses one simply yet powerfully, and holds\none enthralled by its genuine epic grandeur.\"\n\n                                                     \"June 14th, Paris\n\n     \"I am going to stay alone in Paris and on Sundays go and see Brush\n     and Garnier and the Proctors and go to St. Moritz for a week or\n     ten days; further than that I have no plans.... I see Shiff every\n     other night and dine with him then; occasionally I see F----,\n     whom I rather like. I'm working hard but slowly. I want a little\n     rest, so in two days I go to London to see the exhibit there;\n     besides, Sargent gives me a dinner on the 20th. Paris is really\n     a wonderfully attractive city and the 'cut' atmosphere, to use\n     a very unpleasant phrase, is clearly a great thing. There can\n     never be more than a few big men that one respects, but there are\n     so many people deeply interested in art, literature and music,\n     so many that are working hard, that you feel a great deal of\n     intelligence around you in the direction in which you are working,\n     beside the unusual amount of general intelligence which surrounds\n     one.\"\n\nToward the end of June Saint-Gaudens and his family went to England.\nIn London, Sargent, always hospitable, gave a dinner to introduce\nSaint-Gaudens to many distinguished sculptors and painters.\nBurne-Jones, unfortunately, had died a few days before. Saint-Gaudens\nhad always admired his work greatly, and treasured photographs of his\npictures.\n\nAfter two days at Broadway with Edwin Abbey, the family separated.\nSaint-Gaudens and his son Homer then returned to Paris for the summer,\nwhile Mrs. Saint-Gaudens went to take a cure at Vichy and St. Moritz.\nDuring that summer in Paris Saint-Gaudens saw as much as possible\nof George De Forest Brush and his family, who were then living near\nFontainebleau. His intimacy with the Brushes dated back to his student\ndays in Paris, and had been kept up in America. The two families had\noften been neighbors at Cornish, New Hampshire. Indeed, the Brushes had\nspent their first summer there encamped in an Indian \"tepee,\" which was\npitched on the edge of a field in front of the Saint-Gaudens' house.\nTheir life always impressed every one as singularly beautiful and\nhappy, and their presence so near Paris helped Saint-Gaudens to get\nthrough the long, dull weeks of the summer.\n\n                                             \"Paris, July 10th or 11th\n\n     \"Lately I have had a great time with X----, driving and lunching\n     with him and sometimes with the ladies, going to Versailles and\n     the museums. Next Sunday we go to Chantilly, another day to\n     Dampierre where Rude's great statue of Louis (XIII, I think) is.\n     We go to the Cluny, to the Louvre, and sit sipping in front of\n     cafes, X---- telling me how much the woman question from one point\n     of view troubles him and I doing the same from another, and the\n     big world turns round, and we all suffer, and men fight, and women\n     mourn. Courage and love is what we all need, isn't it?\n\n     \"Yesterday I went with Homer to Fontainebleau to see Brush and\n     Proctor who live near there at 'Marlotte Montigny.' The day was\n     fine, and I enjoyed it greatly, particularly the walk with Brush\n     and his two lovely eldest children. How remarkable Brush is! All\n     the children are so beautiful and nice-mannered. He has commenced\n     another picture of his wife, this time with all the children and\n     himself, and it is already a stimulating thing, the composition is\n     so fine and what there is of it that is drawn, is so splendidly\n     drawn.\"\n\n                                                     \"Paris, July 14th\n\n     \"It is the third or fourth really fine day that we have had\n     since coming to France eight months ago. The whole city is alive\n     with sunshine, a sky with white floating clouds, and every place\n     brilliant with flags, and there is an unusual feeling of peace in\n     this big studio as I sit alone in it and write to you.\n\n     \"I have your letter with the enclosure from the _Transcript_.\n     'That's the way things is,' as Bryant said to me. I send you some\n     more Hosannahs in my honour by this mail, and there is going to be\n     more still in the 'Gazette des Beaux-Arts,' as I judge from the\n     way Ary Renan talked to me the other night. He is son of the great\n     Renan and is one of the editors of the 'Gazette des Beaux-Arts'\n     and wished to meet me so much that Pallier, another critic, asked\n     us to dine with him night before last. Pallier is the one who\n     wrote the long article in the Liberte about me.\n\n     \"You speak of Browning--I shall read the 'Ring and the Book,' but\n     unless a man's style is clear I am too lazy and I have too little\n     time to devote to digging gold out of the rocks, fine as it may\n     be. On the other hand I got the Schopenhauer that Shiff spoke\n     about with the intention of sending it to you, but it is so deadly\n     in its pessimism, judging from the ten or eleven lines that I\n     read, that I flung it away. It was so terribly true from his point\n     of view, but what's the use of taking that point of view? We can't\n     remedy matters by weeping and gnashing our teeth over the misery\n     of things. 'That's the way things is' again, and although I have\n     been told all my life it's best to put on a brave face and bear\n     all cheerfully, it's only lately that it is really coming into my\n     philosophy.\n\n     \"It seems as if we are all in one open boat on the ocean,\n     abandoned and drifting no one knows where, and while doing all\n     we can to get somewhere, it is better to be cheerful than to be\n     melancholy; the latter does not help the situation, and the former\n     cheers up one's comrades.\n\n     \"Michel, a friend of mine, had a beautiful nude marble bought for\n     the Luxembourg, a pure noble chaste figure. There was a remarkable\n     statuette by Gerome, two or three other good things in sculpture\n     and the same among the objets d'art, and one swell thing in\n     painting, the Puvis de Chavannes. _That_ appealed to me, but of\n     course there were a lot of other very fine things, by Aman Jean,\n     Henri Martin, Besnard and others. I send you some publications\n     with the good things marked. I think if the Champs-Elysees were\n     sifted there would be more good work found in it or as much as at\n     the Champs de Mars. It is remarkable how much good work is done in\n     Paris, but the first impression is bad, as the good is concealed\n     in such a mountain of trash; but it's like gold in a mountain.\"\n\n                                                     \"Paris, July 24th\n\n     \"Last night I dined with an old 'camarade d'atelier' at his home\n     in the Cite Boileau at Passy and it was a great pleasure to be\n     with him, one of the nicest kind of Frenchmen, a sculptor who\n     is doing admirable work, a man of calm manners and large views,\n     intensely interested in his work. His wife and three children\n     are by the seaside, and on their return, if Homer does not go to\n     America and I remain too, I'm looking forward to Homer's meeting\n     his children. His boy, who is seventeen, is going to work in his\n     atelier with him. It was delightful, as he took one through the\n     rooms of his three children, to see the photographs of admirable\n     works of art they had selected to hang on the walls. He has a\n     house with a garden and we dined outside. (His name is) Lenoir\n     and he is the son of a distinguished architect and grandson of a\n     Lenoir whose bust is erected in the Cour des Beaux-Arts, a man\n     of great distinction here on account of his love of art and his\n     efforts to prevent the Revolutionists in 1795 from destroying the\n     public monuments.\"\n\nEarly in August, while his wife was still away, Saint-Gaudens took his\nson Homer to Holland, where they had a delightful trip, extending to\nthe quaint dead cities of the north. Ten days or so after their return\nto Paris they made another successful expedition together to join some\nfriends at the sea-shore.\n\n                                    \"3 rue de Bagneux, Paris, Aug. 26.\n\n     \"It was intensely hot in Paris. I discovered that the Brushes were\n     at Boulogne as well as the Proctors, so off we packed and we have\n     had a great time, what with bathing and lolling all day on the\n     cliffs, which I adore doing. The two Mears sisters followed us\n     down there, and we, the Brushes, Proctors, Mears, babies, and all\n     started off in the mornings, and, with the luncheon mixed up with\n     the babies in the carriage, passed most delightful days, either on\n     the cliffs or by the shore.\"\n\nSaint-Gaudens, however, could never be happy long away from his work,\nand he was soon writing from his studio again.\n\n                                                      \"Paris, Sept. 2d\n\n     \"A Russian professor at one of the Universities here has sent me\n     his translation of Tolstoi's last work 'What is Art?' and has\n     asked me (with highly eulogistic terms about what I have done, in\n     an inscription on the fly leaf) to give him my opinion, which he\n     wishes to publish with those of other men of note. So I am in for\n     reading it. You read it too, please, and tell me what you think\n     of it, then I'll sign it and send it as my opinion! For I have\n     no opinion, or so many that trying to put them into shape would\n     result in driving me into the mad-house sooner than I am naturally\n     destined to be there. Yes, 5000 different points of view that are\n     possible. After all, we are like lots of microscopical microbes on\n     this infinitesimal ball in space, and all these discussions seem\n     humourous at times. I suppose that every earnest effort toward\n     great sincerity or honesty or beauty in one's production is a drop\n     added to the ocean of evolution, to the Something higher that I\n     suppose we are rising slowly (d----d slowly) to, and all the other\n     discussions upon the subject seem simply one way of helping the\n     seriousness of it all.\n\n     \"Shiff's letter that I enclose is in reply to one asking whether\n     the professor's request was all right and whether I should bother\n     about it. In answer he wrote that the Russian was a very serious\n     man who had done admirable work. I once told Shiff that at times\n     I thought that 'beauty must mean at least some goodness'--that\n     explains part of his letter to me.\"\n\nTO BE CONCLUDED IN NOVEMBER\n\n  [Illustration]\n\n\n\n\n  [Illustration]\n\nTHURNLEY ABBEY\n\nBY PERCEVAL LANDON\n\n\nThree years ago I was on my way out to the East, and as an extra day\nin London was of some importance, I took the Friday evening mail train\nto Brindisi instead of the usual Thursday morning Marseilles express.\nMany people shrink from the long forty-eight-hour train journey\nthrough Europe, and the subsequent rush across the Mediterranean on\nthe nineteen-knot _Isis_ or the _Osiris_; but there is really very\nlittle discomfort on either the train or the mail-boat, and unless\nthere is actually nothing for me to do, I always like to save the extra\nday and a half in London before I say good-bye to her for one of my\nlonger tramps. This time--it was early, I remember, in the shipping\nseason, probably about the beginning of September--there were few\npassengers, and I had a compartment in the P. and O. Indian express to\nmyself all the way from Calais. All Sunday I watched the blue waves\ndimpling the Adriatic, and the pale rosemary along the cuttings; the\nplain white towns, with their flat roofs and their bold \"duomos,\" and\nthe gray-green gnarled olive orchards of Apulia. The journey was just\nlike any other. We ate in the dining-car as often and as long as we\ndecently could. We slept after luncheon; we dawdled the afternoon away\nwith yellow-backed novels; sometimes we exchanged platitudes in the\nsmoking-room, and it was there that I met Alistair Colvin.\n\nColvin was a man of middle height, with a resolute, well-cut jaw; his\nhair was turning gray; his mustache was sun-whitened, otherwise he was\nclean-shaven--obviously a gentleman, and obviously also a preoccupied\nman. He had no great wit. When spoken to, he made the usual remarks in\nthe right way, and I dare say he refrained from banalities only because\nhe spoke less than the rest of us; most of the time he buried himself\nin the Wagonlit Company's Time-table, but seemed unable to concentrate\nhis attention on any one page of it. He found that I had been over the\nSiberian railway, and for a quarter of an hour he discussed it with\nme. Then he lost interest in it, and rose to go to his compartment.\nBut he came back again very soon, and seemed glad to pick up the\nconversation again.\n\nOf course this did not seem to me to be of any importance. Most\ntravelers by train become a trifle infirm of purpose after thirty-six\nhours' rattling. But Colvin's restless way I noticed in somewhat marked\ncontrast with the man's personal importance and dignity; especially\nill suited was it to his finely made large hand with strong, broad,\nregular nails and its few lines. As I looked at his hand I noticed a\nlong, deep, and recent scar of ragged shape. However, it is absurd to\npretend that I thought anything was unusual. I went off at five o'clock\non Sunday afternoon to sleep away the hour or two that had still to be\ngot through before we arrived at Brindisi.\n\nOnce there, we few passengers transhipped our hand baggage, verified\nour berths--there were only a score of us in all--and then, after an\naimless ramble of half an hour in Brindisi, we returned to dinner at\nthe Hotel International, not wholly surprised that the town had been\nthe death of Virgil. If I remember rightly, there is a gaily painted\nhall at the International--I do not wish to advertise anything, but\nthere is no other place in Brindisi at which to await the coming of the\nmails--and after dinner I was looking with awe at a trellis overgrown\nwith blue vines, when Colvin moved across the room to my table. He\npicked up _Il Secolo_, but almost immediately gave up the pretense of\nreading it. He turned squarely to me and said:\n\n\"Would you do me a favor?\"\n\nOne doesn't do favors to stray acquaintances on Continental expresses\nwithout knowing something more of them than I knew of Colvin. But I\nsmiled in a noncommittal way, and asked him what he wanted. I wasn't\nwrong in part of my estimate of him; he said bluntly:\n\n\"Will you let me sleep in your cabin on the _Osiris_?\" And he  a\nlittle as he said it.\n\nNow, there is nothing more tiresome than having to put up with a\nstable-companion at sea, and I asked him rather pointedly:\n\n\"Surely there is room for all of us?\" I thought that perhaps he had\nbeen partnered off with some mangy Levantine, and wanted to escape from\nhim at all hazards.\n\nColvin, still somewhat confused, said: \"Yes; I am in a cabin by myself.\nBut you would do me the greatest favor if you would allow me to share\nyours.\"\n\nThis was all very well, but, besides the fact that I always sleep\nbetter when alone, there had been some recent thefts on board these\nboats, and I hesitated, frank and honest and self-conscious as Colvin\nwas. Just then the mail-train came in with a clatter and a rush of\nescaping steam, and I asked him to see me again about it on the boat\nwhen we started. He answered me curtly--I suppose he saw the mistrust\nin my manner--\"I am a member of White's and the Beefsteak.\" I smiled\nto myself as he said it, but I remembered in a moment that the man--if\nhe were really what he claimed to be, and I make no doubt that he\nwas--must have been sorely put to it before he urged the fact as a\nguarantee of his respectability to a total stranger at a Brindisi hotel.\n\nThat evening, as we cleared the red and green harbor-lights of\nBrindisi, Colvin explained. This is his story in his own words:\n\n\"When I was traveling in India some years ago, I made the acquaintance\nof a youngish man in the Woods and Forests. We camped out together for\na week, and I found him a pleasant companion. John Broughton was a\nlight-hearted soul when off duty, but a steady and capable man in any\nof the small emergencies that continually arise in that department. He\nwas liked and trusted by the natives, and his future was well assured\nin Government service, when a fair-sized estate was unexpectedly left\nto him, and he joyfully shook the dust of the Indian plains from his\nfeet and returned to England. For five years he drifted about London.\nI saw him now and then. We dined together about every eighteen months,\nand I could trace pretty exactly the gradual sickening of Broughton\nwith a merely idle life. He then set out on a couple of long voyages,\nreturned as restless as before, and at last told me that he had decided\nto marry and settle down at his place, Thurnley Abbey, which had long\nbeen empty. He spoke about looking after the property and standing\nfor his constituency in the usual way. He was quite happy and full of\ninformation about his future.\n\n\"Among other things, I asked him about Thurnley Abbey. He confessed\nthat he hardly knew the place. The last tenant, a man called Clarke,\nhad lived in one wing for fifteen years and seen no one. He had been\na miser and a hermit. It was the rarest thing for a light to be seen\nat the Abbey after dark. Only the barest necessities of life were\nordered, and the tenant himself received them at the side-door. His\none half-caste man-servant, after a month's stay in the house, had\nabruptly left without warning, and had returned to the Southern States.\nOne thing Broughton complained bitterly about: Clarke had wilfully\nspread the rumor among the villagers that the Abbey was haunted, and\nhad even condescended to play childish tricks with spirit-lamps and\nsalt in order to scare trespassers away at night. He had been detected\nin the act of this tomfoolery, but the story spread, and no one, said\nBroughton, would venture near the house except in broad daylight. The\nhauntedness of Thurnley Abbey was now, he said with a grin, part of\nthe gospel of the countryside, but he and his young wife were going to\nchange all that. Would I propose myself any time I liked? I, of course,\nsaid I would, and equally, of course, intended to do nothing of the\nsort without a definite invitation.\n\n\"The house was put in thorough repair, though not a stick of the old\nfurniture and tapestry were removed. Floors and ceilings were relaid;\nthe roof was made watertight again, and the dust of half a century was\nscoured out. He showed me some photographs of the place. It was called\nan Abbey, though as a matter of fact it had been only the infirmary of\nthe long-vanished Abbey of Closter some five miles away. The larger\npart of this building remained as it had been in pre-Reformation days,\nbut a wing had been added in Jacobean times, and that part of the\nhouse had been kept in something like repair by Mr. Clarke. He had in\nboth the ground and the first floors set a heavy timber door, strongly\nbarred with iron, in the passage between the earlier and the Jacobean\nparts of the house, and had entirely neglected the former. So there had\nbeen a good deal of work to be done.\n\n\"Broughton, whom I saw in London two or three times about this time,\nmade a deal of fun over the positive refusal of the workmen to remain\nafter sundown. Even after the electric light had been put into every\nroom, nothing would induce them to remain, though, as Broughton\nobserved, electric light was death on ghosts. The legend of the Abbey's\nghosts had gone far and wide, and the men would take no risks. On the\nwhole, though nothing of any sort or kind had been conjured up even\nby their heated imaginations during their five months' work upon the\nAbbey, the belief in the ghosts was rather strengthened than otherwise\nin Thurnley because of the men's confessed nervousness, and local\ntradition declared itself in favor of the ghost of an immured nun.\n\n\"'Good old nun!' said Broughton.\n\n\"I asked him whether in general he believed in the possibility of\nghosts, and, rather to my surprise, he said that he couldn't say he\nentirely disbelieved in them. A man in India had told him one morning\nin camp that he believed that his mother was dead in England, as her\nvision had come to his tent the night before. He had not been alarmed,\nbut had said nothing, and the figure vanished again. As a matter of\nfact, the next possible dak-walla brought on a telegram announcing the\nmother's death. 'There the thing was,' said Broughton.\n\n\"'My own idea,' said he, 'is that if a ghost ever does come in one's\nway, one ought to speak to it.'\n\n\"I agreed. Little as I knew of the ghost world and its conventions,\nI had already remembered that a spook was in honor bound to wait to\nbe spoken to. It didn't seem much to do, and I felt that the sound\nof one's own voice would at any rate reassure oneself as to one's\nwakefulness. But there are few ghosts outside Europe--few, that is,\nthat a white man can see--and I had never been troubled with any.\nHowever, as I have said, I told Broughton that I agreed.\n\n\"So the wedding took place and I went to it in a tall hat which I\nbought for the occasion, and the new Mrs. Broughton smiled very nicely\nat me afterwards. As it had to happen, I took the Orient Express that\nevening and was not in England again for nearly six months. Just before\nI came back I got a letter from Broughton. He asked if I could see him\nin London or come to Thurnley, as he thought I should be better able\nto help him than any one else he knew. His wife sent a nice message to\nme at the end, so I was reassured about at least one thing. I wrote\nfrom Budapest that I would come and see him at Thurnley two days after\nmy arrival in London, and as I sauntered out of the Pannonia into the\nKerepesi Ut to post my letters, I wondered of what earthly service I\ncould be to Broughton. I had been out with him after tiger on foot,\nand I could imagine few men better able at a pinch to manage their own\nbusiness. However, I had nothing to do, so after dealing with some\nsmall accumulations of business during my absence, I packed a kit-bag\nand departed to Euston.\n\n\"I was met by a trap at Thurnley Road station, and after a drive of\nnearly seven miles we echoed through the sleepy streets of Thurnley\nvillage, into which the main gates of the park thrust themselves,\nsplendid with pillars and spread-eagles and tom-cats rampant atop of\nthem. From the gates a quadruple avenue of beech-trees led inwards for\na quarter of a mile. Beneath them a neat strip of fine turf edged the\nroad and ran back until the poison of the dead beech-leaves had killed\nit under the trees. There were many wheel-tracks on the road, and a\ncomfortable little pony trap jogged past me laden with a country parson\nand his wife and daughter. Evidently there was some garden party going\non at the Abbey. The road dropped away to the right at the end of the\navenue, and I could see the Abbey across a wide pasturage and a broad\nlawn thickly dotted with guests.\n\n\"The end of the building was plain. It must have been almost\nmercilessly austere when it was first built, but time had crumbled the\nedges and toned the stone down to an orange-lichened gray wherever it\nshowed behind its curtain of magnolia, jasmine, and ivy. Farther on\nwas the three-storied Jacobean house, plain and handsome. There had\nnot been the slightest attempt to adapt the one to the other, but the\nkindly ivy had glossed over the touching-point. There was a tall fleche\nin the middle of the building, surmounting a small bell tower. Behind\nthe house there rose the mountainous verdure of Spanish chestnuts all\nthe way up the hill.\n\n\"Broughton had seen me coming from afar, and walked across from his\nother guests to welcome me before turning me over to the butler's care.\nThis man was sandy-haired and rather inclined to be talkative. He\ncould, however, answer hardly any questions about the house: he had, he\nsaid, only been there three weeks. Mindful of what Broughton had told\nme, I made no inquiries about ghosts, though the room into which I was\nshown might have justified anything. It was a very large low room with\noak beams projecting from the white ceiling. Every inch of the walls,\nincluding the doors, was covered with tapestry, and a remarkably fine\nItalian fourpost bedstead, heavily draped, added to the darkness and\ndignity of the place. All the furniture was old, well made, and dark.\nUnderfoot there was a plain green pile carpet, the only new thing about\nthe room except the electric light fittings and the jugs and basins.\nEven the looking-glass on the dressing-table was an old pyramidal\nVenetian glass set in heavy repousse frame of tarnished silver.\n\n\"After a few minutes cleaning up, I went downstairs and out upon the\nlawn, where I greeted my hostess. The people gathered there were of\nthe usual country type, all anxious to be pleased and roundly curious\nas to the new master of the Abbey. Rather to my surprise, and quite to\nmy pleasure, I rediscovered Glenham, whom I had known well in old days\nin Barotseland: he lived quite close, as, he remarked with a grin, I\nought to have known. 'But,' he added, 'I don't live in a place like\nthis.' He swept his hand to the long, low lines of the Abbey in obvious\nadmiration, and then, to my intense interest, muttered beneath his\nbreath, 'Thank God!' He saw that I had overheard him, and turning to me\nsaid decidedly, 'Yes, thank God I said, and I meant I wouldn't live at\nthe Abbey for all Broughton's money.'\n\n\"'But surely,' I demurred, 'you know that old Clarke was discovered in\nthe very act of setting light to his bug-a-boos?'\n\n\"Glenham shrugged his shoulders. 'Yes, I know about that. But there is\nsomething wrong with the place still. All I can say is that Broughton\nis a different man since he has lived here. I don't believe that he\nwill remain much longer. But--you're staying here?--Well, you'll\nhear all about it to-night. There's a big dinner, I understand.' The\nconversation turned off to old reminiscences, and Glenham soon after\nhad to go.\n\n\"Before I went to dress that evening I had twenty minutes' talk with\nBroughton in his library. There was no doubt that the man was altered,\ngravely altered. He was nervous and fidgety, and I found him looking at\nme only when my eye was off him. I naturally asked him what he wanted\nof me. I told him I would do anything I could, but that I couldn't\nconceive what he lacked that I could provide. He said with a lustreless\nsmile that there was, however, something, and that he would tell me the\nfollowing morning. It struck me that he was somehow ashamed of himself,\nand perhaps ashamed of the part he was asking me to play. However, I\ndismissed the subject from my mind and went up to dress in my palatial\nroom. As I shut the door a draught blew out the Queen of Sheba from the\nwall, and I noticed that the tapestries were not fastened to the wall\nat the bottom. I have always held very practical views about spooks,\nand it has often seemed to me that the slow waving in firelight of\nloose tapestry upon a wall would account for ninety-nine per cent of\nthe stories one hears, and certainly the dignified undulation of this\nlady with her attendants and huntsmen--one of whom was untidily cutting\nthe throat of a fallow deer upon the very steps on which King Solomon,\na gray-faced Flemish nobleman with the order of the Golden Fleece,\nawaited his fair visitor--gave color to my hypothesis.\n\n\"Nothing much happened at dinner. The people were very much like those\nof the garden party. After the ladies had gone, I found myself talking\nto the rural dean. He was a thin, earnest man, who at once turned the\nconversation to old Clarke's buffooneries. But, he said, Mr. Broughton\nhad introduced such a new and cheerful spirit, not only into the Abbey,\nbut, he might say, into the whole neighborhood, that he had great\nhopes that the ignorant superstitions of the past were from henceforth\ndestined to oblivion. Thereupon his other neighbor, a portly gentleman\nof independent means and position, audibly remarked 'Amen,' which\ndamped the rural dean, and we talked of partridges past, partridges\npresent, and pheasants to come. At the other end of the table Broughton\nsat with a couple of his friends, red-faced hunting men. Once I noticed\nthat they were discussing me, but I paid no attention to it at the\ntime. I remembered it a few hours later.\n\n\"By eleven all the guests were gone, and Broughton, his wife, and I\nwere alone together under the fine plaster ceiling of the Jacobean\ndrawing-room. Mrs. Broughton talked about one or two of the neighbors,\nand then, with a smile, said that she knew I would excuse her, shook\nhands with me, and went off to bed. I am not very good at analyzing\nthings, but I felt that she talked a little uncomfortably and with a\nsuspicion of effort, smiled rather conventionally, and was obviously\nglad to go. These things seem trifling enough to repeat, but I had\nthroughout the faint feeling that everything was not square. Under the\ncircumstances, this was enough to set me wondering what on earth the\nservice could be that I was to render--wondering also whether the whole\nbusiness were not some ill-advised jest in order to make me come down\nfrom London for a mere shooting party.\n\n\"Broughton said little after she had gone. But he was evidently\nlaboring to bring the conversation round to the so-called haunting\nof the Abbey. As soon as I saw this, of course I asked him directly\nabout it. He then seemed at once to lose interest in the matter. There\nwas no doubt about it: Broughton was somehow a changed man, and to my\nmind he had changed in no way for the better. Mrs. Broughton seemed no\nsufficient cause. He was clearly very fond of her, and she of him. I\nreminded him that he was going to tell me what I could do for him in\nthe morning, pleaded my journey, lighted a candle, and went upstairs\nwith him. At the end of the passage leading into the old house he\ngrinned weakly and said, 'Mind, if you see a ghost, do talk to it; you\nsaid you would,' He stood irresolutely a moment and then turned away.\nAt the door of his dressing-room he paused a moment: 'I'm here,' he\ncalled out, 'if you should want anything. Good-night,' and he shut his\ndoor.\n\n\"I went along the passage to my room, undressed, switched on a lamp\nbeside my bed, read a few pages of the _Jungle Book_, and then, more\nthan ready for sleep, switched the light off and went fast asleep.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n\"Three hours later I woke up. There was not a breath of wind outside.\nIt was so silent that my ears found employment in listening for the\nthrobbing of the blood within them. There was not even a flicker of\nlight from the fireplace. As I lay there, an ash tinkled slightly\nas it cooled, but there was hardly a gleam of the dullest red in the\ngrate. An owl cried among the silent Spanish chestnuts on the <DW72>\noutside. I idly reviewed the events of the day, hoping that I should\nfall off to sleep again before I reached dinner. But at the end I\nseemed as wakeful as ever. There was no help for it. I must read my\n_Jungle Book_ again till I felt ready to go off, so I fumbled for\nthe pear at the end of the cord that hung down inside the bed, and I\nswitched on the bedside lamp. The sudden glory dazzled me for a moment.\nI felt under my pillow for my book with half-shut eyes. Then, growing\nused to the light, I happened to look down to the foot of my bed.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\n\"I can never tell you really what happened then. Nothing I could ever\nconfess in the most abject words could even faintly picture to you\nwhat I felt. I know that my heart stopped dead, and my throat shut\nautomatically. In one instinctive movement I crouched back up against\nthe head-boards of the bed, staring at the horror. The movement set my\nheart going again, and the sweat dripped from every pore. I am not a\nparticularly religious man, but I had always believed that God would\nnever allow any supernatural appearance to present itself to man in\nsuch a guise and in such circumstances that harm, either bodily or\nmental, could result to him. I can only tell you that at that moment\nboth my life and my reason rocked unsteadily on their seats.\"\n\nThe other _Osiris_ passengers had gone to bed. Only he and I remained\nleaning over the starboard railing, which rattled uneasily now and then\nunder the fierce vibration of the over-engined mail-boat. Far over,\nthere were the lights of a few fishing-smacks riding out the night, and\na great rush of white combing and seething water fell out and away from\nus overside.\n\nAt last Colvin went on:\n\n\"Leaning over the foot of my bed, looking at me, was a figure swathed\nin a rotten and tattered veiling. This shroud passed over the head, but\nleft both eyes and the right side of the face bare. It then followed\nthe line of the arm down to where the hand grasped the bed-end. The\nface was not that entirely of a skull, though the eyes and the flesh of\nthe face were totally gone, There was a thin, dry skin drawn tightly\nover the features, and there was some skin left on the hand. One wisp\nof hair crossed the forehead. It was perfectly still. I looked at it,\nand it looked at me, and my brains turned dry and hot in my head. I\nhad still got the pear of the electric lamp in my hand, and I played\nidly with it; only I dared not turn the light out again. I shut my\neyes, only to open them in a hideous terror the same second. The thing\nhad not moved. My heart was thumping, and the sweat cooled me as it\nevaporated. Another cinder tinkled in the grate, and a panel creaked in\nthe wall.\n\n\"My reason failed me. For twenty minutes, or twenty seconds, I was\nable to think of nothing else but this awful figure, till there came,\nhurtling through the empty channels of my senses, the remembrance that\nBroughton and his friends had discussed me furtively at dinner. The dim\npossibility of it being a hoax stole gratefully into my unhappy mind,\nand once there, one's pluck came creeping back along a thousand tiny\nveins. My first sensation was one of blind unreasoning thankfulness\nthat my brain was going to stand the trial. I am not a timid man,\nbut the best of us needs some human handle to steady him in time of\nextremity, and in this faint but growing hope that after all it might\nbe only a brutal hoax, I found the fulcrum that I needed. At last I\nmoved.\n\n\"How I managed to do it, I cannot tell you, but with one spring\ntowards the foot of the bed I got within arm's length and struck out\none fearful blow with my fist at the thing. It crumbled under it, and\nmy hand was cut to the bone. With the sickening revulsion after my\nterror, I dropped half-fainting across the end of the bed. So it was\nmerely a foul trick after all. No doubt the trick had been played many\na time before: no doubt Broughton and his friends had had some bet\namong themselves as to what I should do when I discovered the gruesome\nthing. From my state of abject terror I found myself transported into\nan insensate anger. I shouted curses upon Broughton. I dived rather\nthan climbed over the bed-end on to the sofa. I tore at the robed\nskeleton--how well the whole thing had been carried out, I thought--I\nbroke the skull against the floor, and stamped upon its dry bones. I\nflung the head away under the bed, and rent the brittle bones of the\ntrunk in pieces. I snapped the thin thigh-bones across my knee, and\nflung them in different directions. The shin-bones I set up against\na stool and broke with my heel. I raged like a Berserker against the\nloathly thing, and stripped the ribs from the backbone and slung the\nbreastbone against the cupboard. My fury increased as the work of\ndestruction went on. I tore the frail rotten veil into twenty pieces,\nand the dust went up over everything, over the clean blotting-paper and\nthe silver inkstand. At last my work was done. There was but a raffle\nof broken bones and strips of parchment and crumbling wool. Then,\npicking up a piece of the skull--it was the cheek and temple bone of\nthe right side, I remember--I opened the door and went down the passage\nto Broughton's dressing-room. I remember still how my sweat-dripping\npajamas clung to me as I walked. At the door I kicked and entered.\n\n\"Broughton was in bed. He had already turned the light on and seemed\nshrunken and horrified. For a moment he could hardly pull himself\ntogether. Then I spoke. I don't know what I said. Only I know that from\na heart full and over-full with hatred and contempt, spurred on by\nshame of my own recent cowardice, I let my tongue run on. He answered\nnothing. I was amazed at my own fluency. My hair still clung lankily\nto my wet temples, my hand was bleeding profusely, and I must have\nlooked a strange sight. Broughton huddled himself up at the head of\nthe bed just as I had. Still he made no answer, no defence. He seemed\npreoccupied with something besides my reproaches, and once or twice\nmoistened his lips with his tongue. But he could say nothing, though he\nmoved his hands now and then, just as a baby who cannot speak moves his\nhands.\n\n\"At last the door into Mrs. Broughton's room opened and she came in,\nwhite and terrified. 'What is it? What is it? Oh, in God's name! what\nis it?' she cried again and again, and then she went up to her husband\nand sat on the bed; and the two faced me in speechless terror. I told\nher what the matter was. I spared her husband not a word for her\npresence there. Yet he seemed hardly to understand. I told the pair\nthat I had spoiled their cowardly joke for them. Broughton looked up.\n\n\"'I have smashed the foul thing into a hundred pieces,' I said.\nBroughton licked his lips again and his mouth worked. 'By God!' I\nshouted, 'it would serve you right if I thrashed you within an inch\nof your life. I will take care that not a decent man or woman of my\nacquaintance ever speaks to you again. And there,' I added, throwing\nthe broken piece of the skull upon the floor beside his bed, 'there is\na souvenir for you, of your damned work to-night!'\n\n\"Broughton saw the bone, and in a moment it was his turn to frighten\nme. He squealed like a hare caught in a trap. He screamed and screamed\ntill Mrs. Broughton, almost as terrified as I, held on to him and\ncoaxed him like a child to be quiet. But Broughton--and as he moved I\nthought that ten minutes ago I perhaps looked as terribly ill as he\ndid--thrust her from him, and scrambled out of the bed on to the floor,\nand still screaming put out his hand to the bone. It had blood on it\nfrom my hand. He paid no attention to me whatever. In truth I said\nnothing. This was a new turn indeed to the horrors of the evening. He\nrose from the floor with the bone in his hand, and stood silent. He\nseemed to be listening. 'Time, time, perhaps,' he muttered, and almost\nat the same moment fell at full length on the carpet, cutting his head\nagainst the fender. The bone flew from his hand and came to rest near\nthe door. I picked Broughton up, haggard and broken, with blood over\nhis face. He whispered hoarsely and quickly, 'Listen, listen!' We\nlistened.\n\n\"After ten seconds' utter quiet, I seemed to hear something. I could\nnot be sure, but at last there was no doubt. There was a quiet sound\nas of one moving along the passage. Little regular steps came towards\nus over the hard oak flooring. Broughton moved to where his wife\nsat, white and speechless, on the bed, and pressed her face into his\nshoulder.\n\n\"Then the last thing that I could see as he turned the light out, he\nfell forward with his own head pressed into the pillow of the bed.\nSomething in their company, something in their cowardice, helped me,\nand I faced the open doorway of the room, which was outlined fairly\nclearly against the dimly lighted passage. I put out one hand and\ntouched Mrs. Broughton's shoulder in the darkness. But at the last\nmoment I too failed. I sank on my knees and put my face in the bed.\nOnly, we all heard. The footsteps came to the door, and there they\nstopped. The piece of bone was lying a yard inside the door. There was\na rustle of moving stuff, and the thing was in the room. Mrs. Broughton\nwas silent: I could hear Broughton's voice praying, muffled in the\npillow: I was cursing my own cowardice. Then the steps moved out again\non the oak boards of the passage, and I heard the sounds dying away. In\na flash of remorse I went to the door and looked out. There at the end\nof the corridor was a small bowed figure in a gray veil--I knew it only\ntoo well. But this time there was a pathos in the drooped head that\nleft me standing with my forehead bowed in shame against the jamb of\nthe door.\n\n\"'You can turn the light on,' I said, and there was an answering flare.\nThere was no bone at my feet. Mrs. Broughton had fainted. Broughton was\nalmost useless, and it took me ten minutes to bring her to. Broughton\nonly said one thing worth remembering. For the most part he went on\nmuttering prayers. But I was glad afterwards to recollect that he had\nsaid that thing. He said in a colorless voice, half as a question,\nhalf as a reproach, 'You didn't speak to her.'\n\n\"We spent the remainder of the night together. Mrs. Broughton actually\nfell off into a kind of sleep before dawn, but she suffered so horribly\nin her dreams that I shook her into consciousness again. Never was dawn\nso long in coming. Three or four times Broughton spoke to himself. Mrs.\nBroughton would then just tighten her hold on his arm, but she could\nsay nothing. As for me, I can honestly say that I grew worse as the\nhours passed and the light strengthened. The two violent reactions had\nbattered down my steadiness of view, and I felt that the foundations of\nmy life had been built upon the sand. I said nothing, and after binding\nup my hand with a towel, I did not move. It was better so. They helped\nme and I helped them, and we all three knew that our reason had gone\nvery near to ruin that night. At last, when the light came in pretty\nstrongly, and the birds outside were chattering and singing, we felt\nthat we must do something. Yet we never moved. You might have thought\nthat we should particularly dislike being found as we were by the\nservants: yet nothing of the kind mattered a straw, and an overpowering\nlistlessness bound us as we sat, until Chapman, Broughton's man,\nactually knocked and opened the door. None of us moved. Broughton,\nspeaking hardly and stiffly, said: 'Chapman, you can come back in\nfive minutes.' Chapman was a discreet man, but it would have made no\ndifference if he had carried his news to the 'room' at once.\n\n\"We looked at each other and I said I must go back. I meant to wait\noutside till Chapman returned. I simply dared not re-enter my bedroom\nalone. Broughton roused himself and said that he would come with me.\nMrs. Broughton agreed to remain in her own room for five minutes if the\nblinds were drawn up and all the doors left open.\n\n\"So Broughton and I, leaning stiffly one against the other, went down\nto my room. By the morning light that filtered past the blinds we could\nsee our way, and I released the blinds. There was nothing wrong in the\nroom from end to end, except smears of my own blood on the bed, on the\nsofa, and on the carpet where I had torn the thing to pieces.\"\n\nColvin had finished his story. There was nothing to say. Seven bells\nstuttered out from the fo'c'sle, and the answering cry wailed through\nthe darkness. I took him downstairs.\n\n\"Of course I am much better now, but it is a kindness of you to let me\nsleep in your cabin.\"\n\n\n\n\nTHE TERROR\n\nBY A. E. THOMAS\n\nILLUSTRATIONS BY HERMAN C. WALL\n\n\nIt was a gray and bitter morning in January when Tim first saw The\nVale. For weeks winter had lain heavy upon the sunny South. A cold rain\nhad swept the countryside; then came zero weather for days, till the\nice lay inch-thick on all the broad pikes of Lexington County, and only\nthe firs were green.\n\nTim and his mother had left the little cabin they called home at the\nfirst crack of dawn and together had tramped the five miles that\nspelled the road to The Vale. All the way they spoke scarce a word, for\nthey knew that parting was near and that it had to be. Colonel Darnton\nwas to take the boy and make a jockey of him, if he could, and the\nstables of The Vale were to be his home thereafter.\n\nThe <DW64>s were feeding the stallions when the boy and his mother\ntrudged up to the big barn. They sat on a feed-box until the Colonel\nhad finished his breakfast and come out from the big house under the\ntrees.\n\n\"Morning to you, Mrs. Doolin,\" said the Colonel. \"And so you've brought\nthe boy, eh?\"\n\n\"I have that,\" responded Mrs. Doolin, in her odd mixture of brogue and\nSouthern drawl. \"An' I beg ye t' be good tew him. Since Pete died, he's\nall I hov, an' it's the good lad he's been to me, an' phwat it is I'll\nbe doin' widout him whin he's gawn, I dinnaw. Will ye be afther lettin'\nhim come down t' see me wanst a fortnight, sor?\"\n\n\"Of course I will,\" smiled the Colonel, and then he turned to Tim,\nstanding there, so pale and little.\n\n\"And you, boy,\" he said, taking the lad's chin in his big hand and\nturning the blue eyes up to his gaze, \"how about you--strong for the\nhosses, eh?\"\n\nTim's lip quivered. He was only twelve. But he looked the Colonel\nbravely in the face.\n\n\"I reck'n,\" he said.\n\n\"Well, well, we'll see,\" said the Colonel, mercifully releasing the\nboy's chin. \"'Twould be odd if you weren't. Your father was mighty\nhandy with 'em all--mighty handy.\"\n\n\"Savin' yer prisince, Colonel, I'd hov jist wan wurrud wid th' boy,\"\nsaid the woman, and she drew Tim aside.\n\n\"Lookee yew here, yew Tim Doolin,\" she said, when she had him by\nhimself, \"don't yew niver fergit thet yew're up here tew The Vale tew\nlarn hosses. Raymimber thet.\" The boy drew one ragged sleeve across his\nblue eyes.\n\n\"All right, maw,\" he quavered.\n\n\"An' raymimber this, too,\" she went on. \"There niver yit was wan Doolin\nthet wasn't on the square. Hoss racin' ain't prayin', an' all them as\nraces hosses ain't like the Colonel. But there niver was wan Doolin yit\nthet wasn't on the level. Mind yew ain't the fust crook in the clan, er\nelse yew needn't niver come home t' the Blue Grass ter look yewr maw in\nthe face.\"\n\nThin and gaunt and gray-haired, she stood in the biting wind that\nfought to tear her shawl from her bony shoulders. For a moment she\nstared, stern and dry-eyed, at the boy. Somehow he had never seemed so\ntiny before.\n\n\"Will yew raymimber thet?\" she demanded at last. Tim dropped his eyes\nin boyish embarrassment.\n\n\"I reck'n,\" he said.\n\nHis mother drew her shawl tightly about her shoulders and departed\nwithout more ado.\n\nThe life of a stable-boy on a great breeding-farm is not all beer and\nskittles, whatever that may be. His principal business is to look sharp\nand do as he is told and never forget. It's always early to rise,\nbefore dawn in the winter time, and often late to bed, if some of the\npriceless thoroughbreds are ailing. Moreover, the tongues of stable\nforemen are sharp, and their hands are heavy.\n\nTim made his mistakes. Once, after they came to trust him at The Vale,\non a sharp morning when he was giving King Faraway, the head of the\nstud, his morning gallop on the pike, he fell to dreaming. A little\nbrook ran under a wooden bridge built for carriage use. But to one\nside there was a ford through which people drove in summer to give\ntheir horses drink. The brook was solid ice that morning, but Tim, not\nthinking, turned King Faraway into the ford. The great horse slipped\nand fell.\n\nTim sprang up from the far side of the brook with the blood gushing\nfrom a nasty cut on his forehead. But he didn't think of that. Was King\nFaraway hurt?\n\nHe walked the three miles back to The Vale, the stallion limping behind\nhim, and at the stable he told the truth and got a thrashing.\n\nKing Faraway was on three legs for a month. But he recovered. Every\nnight of that month the boy slept on a heap of straw in the stallion's\nbox stall, waking up half a dozen times a night to rub the injured\nstifle; and in the end the great horse was as good as new.\n\nAgain, one chilly November night Tim left one of his yearlings out in\nthe South Paddock. Late that night a cold, driving storm came up. In\nthe morning they found the yearling shivering by the paddock gate.\nThe Colonel himself worked his fingers off over that yearling colt,\nfor he was bred in the purple. The youngster had pneumonia, but they\nsaved him, and the Colonel said that Tim's nursing was what pulled him\nthrough.\n\nOn an April morning something over two years after the day Tim came\nto The Vale, he started with the season's two-year-olds for the big\ntracks at New York. He had helped break the youngsters to the saddle\nand to the track on the half-mile race-course on the farm, and he knew\nevery one of the lot as if he had been its mother. So when they rounded\nthem up to take them to the special box-cars that were waiting in the\nfreight yards, the Colonel took the lad aside.\n\n\"Really want to be a jockey, Tim?\" he asked.\n\n\"Sure,\" said Tim.\n\n\"Want to leave us, then, eh?\" The boy looked away, and the Colonel\nspared him.\n\n\"All right,\" he said with a laugh. \"To the races you go. You can come\nback if you don't like it.\"\n\nAll the broad acres of The Vale and the costly stallions and the brood\nmares belonged to David Holland, a captain of finance. He was too busy\nmanipulating the ticker to pay much attention to the stock-farm itself.\nHe knew nothing whatever about the breeding of horses and was clever\nenough to admit it. He paid the bills and got his fun out of \"seeing\n'em run.\"\n\nThe Holland stable was already quartered at Sheepshead Bay when the\nColonel and Tim arrived with the two-year-olds. Pat Faulkner, the\ntrainer, was there to meet them. He and the Colonel drew aside and\nleft the boy to himself. The hours for morning gallops were long since\nover, and when Tim climbed the white rail fence that enclosed the\nback-stretch, the big and beautiful track was absolutely deserted.\n\n\"Well,\" said Faulkner, \"what sort of a grist have you brought me this\ntrip? I've been bitin' me nails off to find out, but not a word would\nyou write.\"\n\nThey had out the chestnut colt with the one white foot, and the black\nwith the white blaze, and the bay filly by Checkers-Flighty, and a few\nother individuals, while the trainer felt them over and looked them up\nand down and round about, and had them walked and trotted and cantered\nthrough the stable yard.\n\nWhen it was all over, and he knew that here was material that would\nmake his rivals sit up, Faulkner's eyes fell upon a slim shape sitting\non the white rail fence.\n\n\"What's the kid?\" he demanded.\n\n\"That?\" said the Colonel, with a smile, \"why, that's Tim Doolin, a\nchampion jockey I've brought you.\" The trainer grunted.\n\n\"How old?\" he asked.\n\n\"Going on fifteen, weighs seventy-three pounds, is kind and clever,\nknows the hosses, and they'll do for him. Try him out at exercise work,\nand if he makes good, give him a chance to ride.\"\n\nThat same night the Colonel departed.\n\nAfter that Tim's work was cut out for him. There were twenty-six\ntwo-year-olds in the Holland stables, twelve three-year-olds, and six\nor eight thoroughbreds in the aged division. Faulkner kept a big staff\nof grooms and exercise boys, but there was always a day's work for each\nof them. Aside from the routine exercise for every horse in training,\nthe feeding, the grooming, and so on, all the youngsters had to be\nbroken to the starting barrier. Some trainers didn't pay much attention\nto that.\n\n\"Let 'em come to it in their races,\" said they. Not so, Faulkner. He\ndrilled every last one of his two-year-olds till the starting gate was\nno more to them than so much steel and wood and webbing.\n\nTim was not long in winning the trainer's confidence. The job of\nbreaking to the barrier was turned over to the stable foreman, under\nwhose eyes the grooms and exercise boys worked. But one afternoon\nFaulkner himself came out to see how things were going. He noticed that\nthe three two-year-olds that were Tim's especial care were already\nbarrier-broken. He cross-examined the lad. Tim was reticent.\n\n\"I--I--jest get 'em used to it,\" he faltered.\n\n\"How?\" demanded the trainer.\n\n\"I--I jest lead 'em up to it, first along, an' let 'em smell of it\nand look at it. Then I git one of the boys to spring it while I'm\na-standin' by at their heads. They git used to it pretty soon. Then I\nride 'em up to it.\"\n\n\"Humph!\" grunted the trainer; but later he said to the foreman: \"That\nkid's got sense.\"\n\nIt wasn't long before Tim was exercising three-year-olds, and one gray\nmorning when he turned out of the loft where he slept, the foreman\nshouted:\n\n\"Hurry up, you Tim, an' git yer breakfast.\"\n\nThe boy wondered and obeyed. He gulped down the last of his oatmeal,\nshot out of the training kitchen, and ran up to the stables, where a\n<DW64> groom was holding a big bay horse, about which Faulkner himself\nwas busily working. The trainer arose as the boy ran up.\n\n\"Up you go, kid,\" he said and tossed Tim into the saddle.\n\nAnd Tim knew that he was to exercise Lear! And everybody knew that the\nHolland stable was pointing Lear for the Brooklyn Handicap! It was a\nproud moment for Tim. But his honors didn't sit too heavily on his\nsmall shoulders, for Faulkner was a hard task-master.\n\n\"Jog him to the mile post and send him the last half in .55 an' keep\nyer eye on the flag,\" the trainer would order.\n\nThen the boy would canter away through the gray light, and the trainer,\nhandkerchief in one hand and stop-watch in the other, would mount the\nfence. If the clock said .57 for that last half mile, or anything\nbetween that and .55, there was a slap on the back and a \"Good kid,\"\nfor Tim, but woe to him if the clicking hand cut it down to .53.\n\nMistakes he made, and many of them, but they grew fewer and fewer. Good\nhands he had (for they are born with a boy, if he's ever to have them)\nand an intuitive knowledge of the temper of a horse. A good seat they\nhad taught him at The Vale. And gradually, little by little and bit by\nbit, he came to be what only one jockey in fifty ever grows into--an\nunerring judge of pace.\n\nJust what it is that tells a boy whether the muscles of steel that he\nbestrides are shooting him rhythmically over a furlong of dull brown\nearth or black and slimy mud in .12-1\/2 or .13-1\/4, some person may\nperhaps be able to tell, but certain it is that no person ever has told\nit. Long after Tim had learned the secret as few boys have ever known\nit, I asked him.\n\n\"Why,\" said he, \"yew know your hoss, an' after thet, why, yew jest feel\nit.\"\n\nIt was not until the autumn meeting at Gravesend that Tim first wore\nthe colors. It was in an overnight selling race for two-year-olds, for\nwhich Faulkner had in despair named Gracious.\n\nGracious was a merry little short-bodied filly, who was bred as well as\nany of the Holland lot, but who hadn't done well. Out of six starts she\nhad never shown anything, and Faulkner had determined to start her once\nmore and then weed her out. The weight, eighty-seven pounds, was so\nlight that the stable jockey couldn't make it. Then Faulkner remembered\nthe Colonel's words: \"Give him a chance, if he makes good.\"\n\n\"I'll do it,\" he said, and told Tim.\n\nTim didn't sleep well that night, and with wide eyes he welcomed the\nfirst light of the great day. At last he was to wear the colors!\n\n\"Just get her off well and take your time,\" said Faulkner, as he put\nthe boy up. \"Rate her along to the stretch and then drive her.\"\n\nTim did all that. Coming into the stretch, there were four horses\nahead of him on the rail. But two of them were weakening. Then Tim\ncalled on the filly. She answered and went up. But the colt next her\nwas staggering. He swerved, and Tim had to pull out. He got Gracious\ngoing again and landed her third, only a head behind the second horse.\nFaulkner was radiant as Tim dismounted.\n\n\"Good kid,\" he said. He had backed the filly a bit to run third. But\nTim was almost weeping.\n\n\"I could have won,\" he moaned, \"if thet there Blinger hed kep'\nstraight.\"\n\nThe boy rode half a dozen races in the next month, all of them for\ntwo-year-olds. He won once and was second twice. Among the other\napprentice riders he was already a personage, although, of course, he\nscarcely dared speak to the full-fledged jockeys.\n\nAnd then the Terror came.\n\nIt was Gracious that brought it. There were eight two-years-olds in the\nseven-furlong sprint on the main track at Morris Park. The filly had\ngone slightly off her feed the night before the race, but she seemed\nperfectly fit otherwise, and Faulkner determined to start her.\n\n\"She won't finish as strong as she would a week ago,\" he told the boy,\nas the saddling bugle blew. \"So you send her along a bit at the start\nand get the rail. Keep her goin' an' let her die in front.\"\n\n\"I reck'n,\" said Tim confidently, and they swung him into the saddle.\n\nGracious, under Tim's riding, was a quick breaker. She leaped away the\ninstant the barrier rose, and from the middle of the track the boy took\nher to the rail before the run up the back-stretch was over. She held\nher lead till the field had rounded into the stretch, and then he felt\nher falter. In an instant he began to ride, first with hands, then with\nhands and feet, then with hands and feet and whip. But it was not in\nthe filly to answer. At the six-furlong pole she had gone stale--gone\nstale between two jumps. But the boy kept at her with might and main.\n\n  [Illustration: \"TIM AND HIS MOTHER HAD LEFT THEIR LITTLE CABIN AT THE\n  FIRST CRACK OF DAWN\"]\n\nIt was useless. In six strides a brown muzzle crept up to his saddle\ngirth. In two jumps more it reached the filly's shoulder. In three more\nstrides the two were head and head; and then the brown muzzle was in\nfront.\n\nSuddenly the brown muzzle drooped, and the colt faltered. Tim took\nheart again. Perhaps, perhaps he might still nurse the filly home in\nfront. He gripped her withers a bit tighter with his knees and spoke to\nher, softly and pleadingly, as was his wont, through his clenched teeth:\n\n\"Come on, yew gal--come on, yew baby--come jes' once mo'--jes'\nonce--we's mos' home now--come--come. Come, yew gal!\"\n\nBack to the boy's stirrup came the saddle girth of the brown colt, as\nhis stride shortened under the staggering drive. Tim's heart leaped in\nhis bosom, for there was the wire not ten jumps away and--he was going\nto win.\n\n\"Come--come, yew baby,\" he whispered almost into the filly's ear, as he\nleaned far over her nodding head. The ecstasy of victory thrilled his\nsmall body to his very toes.\n\nAt that instant the brown colt swerved against him. The pungent odor\nof sweating horseflesh smote his nostrils--the roar of a horrified\ncrowd filled his ears--the track rose up to meet him. A flash of red\nenveloped his brain--then came darkness and oblivion.\n\nWhen he came to himself, the first faint light of dawn was sifting in\nthrough a window somewhere. \"Time I was up fer exercisin',\" he thought,\nand he struggled to rise. A flash of pain in his left arm turned him\nfaint and sick. As he wondered over this, he became aware of a dull,\nsteady roar that filled the room.\n\nAgain he opened his eyes. Dimly he made out the form of a white-capped\nwoman standing over him. Then he knew that he was not lying in the\nloft at Sheepshead Bay.\n\n\"Are you awake, little boy?\" said a soft voice.\n\n\"I--I reck'n,\" said Tim faintly.\n\nThere came the rattle of a heavy vehicle pounding over pavements, the\nshrill shriek of a whistle, the roar of horses' hoofs.\n\nThen he remembered it all and turned his face to the wall.\n\nThat same evening Faulkner came in to see him.\n\n\"Well, Tim,\" he said, \"'twas a bad tumble, hey? How d'you feel? better?\"\n\n\"Sure,\" said the boy feebly.\n\n\"That's fine, that's fine,\" cried the trainer heartily. \"'Twa'n't your\nfault. You done fine. You'd 'a' won, sure, 'f that chump Reilly had\nkep' his colt straight. But don't you care. We'll have you out in a few\ndays, the Doc says. I telegraphed the Colonel you was all to the good,\nan' he'll tell yer ma, so don't you worry about that, kid.\" He leaned\nover, smiled kindly, and put a huge hand on the boy's head.\n\nIt smelled horribly of sweaty horseflesh. With a shudder Tim turned his\nhead away.\n\n\"You musn't mind a little thing like a tumble,\" said the trainer\nanxiously. \"They all get 'em. Why, I remember when I was ridin' a hoss\nnamed ----\"\n\nAnd the kindly horseman blundered on in an attempt to cheer the\nhelpless lad. It seemed to Tim that he simply must cry out to him to\nstop, when the nurse came swiftly up and warned the trainer not to stay\nany longer.\n\n\"Well, so long, kid,\" was Faulkner's parting word. \"Oh, 'course yer\nbusted arm won't let yer ride again this fall, but the season's most\nover anyway. Only two more days o' Morris Park, and y' know we ain't\ngot any cheap ones to start at Aqueduct. Anythin' I kin do f' you?\" Tim\nopened his eyes again.\n\n\"Filly hurted?\" he asked faintly.\n\nThe trainer laughed.\n\n\"Nothin' to hurt,\" he said. \"Skinned her knees a bit, but I was goin'\nto put her out o' trainin' anyhow. She's O.K.\"\n\nTo Tim's unspeakable relief he lumbered away.\n\nWith his arm in a sling, Tim was out again at the end of a week.\nMuch against the boy's will, Faulkner took him one day to the\nmeeting at Aqueduct. There the trainer was soon surrounded by\nprofessional colleagues, and Tim fled to a seat in the highest row\nof the grandstand. Thence he looked down upon the first stages of a\nsix-furlong sprint, but when three horses labored home in a tight-fit\nfinish he buried his face in his hands that he might not see them.\n\nWhen he lifted his face again, he glanced furtively about, thankful,\noh, so thankful, that nobody had noticed him.\n\nThen self-scorn descended upon him. If he could only go away somewhere\nand die! Furtively, he wept, wiping the tears away with one pudgy,\nbrown fist. For some minutes he stared, heavy-eyed and broken, at his\nfeet.\n\n\"Ta-ra-ta-ta-ta! Ta-ra-ta-ta!\"\n\nThe bugle spoke, calling the handicap horses to the post.\n\nTim started up and edged toward the aisle. His racing feet carried him\nin panic half way down to the lawn. One idea possessed him--to get\naway--to hide himself, he didn't care where--anywhere where he couldn't\nsee the horses run.\n\nA hand seized him by the shoulder and spun him around.\n\n\"Hey, kid,\" said a voice, \"how you feelin'? All to the mustard, hey?\"\n\nIt was Bud Noble, star jockey of the Holland stable, radiant with all\nthe prestige that comes with twenty thousand a year and the adulation\nof the racing public.\n\n\"I reck'n,\" said Tim, and fled again.\n\nHe had no notion of flight. His feet bore him along unsentiently.\nSuddenly they stopped. And then he knew that he couldn't run away.\nHe must see that race. Something within him that would not be denied\ncommanded it. Slowly he retraced his steps, muttering unconsciously: \"I\ngotter do it. I gotter do it.\"\n\nPresently he found himself back in the top row of the grandstand. As in\na dream, he watched the parade of brilliant colors to the post. As in\na dream, he saw the barrier flash up. The old-time roar \"They're off!\"\ncame faint and faraway to his ears. Dreamlike, the field drifted up the\nback stretch, rounded the turn, and straightened out for home. He dug\nthe fingers of his one good hand into the hard wooden bench and held\nhis eyes upon the horses.\n\n\"I gotter do it. I gotter do it,\" he muttered still.\n\nThey were years in reaching the wire. No mortal thoroughbreds ever\nran so slowly before since time began. But at last, at the end of the\nworld, they finished. And up on the highest bench of the grandstand a\nlittle boy, with white face and wide eyes, sat back, limp and still.\n\nTim's arm was still in a sling when he got back to Lexington, and it\nwas January before he could use it to any effect. The intervening weeks\nhe spent at home, helping his mother as best he could in the round of\nher hard life, running her errands and bearing to and fro the various\nwashings by which she lived. For the first time in his life it worried\nhim to see her work so hard.\n\n  [Illustration: \"A <DW64> GROOM WAS HOLDING A BIG BAY HORSE, ABOUT WHICH\n  FALKNER WAS BUSILY WORKING\"]\n\n\"Nivver mind, Tim,\" she would say, lifting her bent back from the tub\nin the corner of the kitchen, \"soon you'll be the famous jockey wid\nthousands a year. Thin it's your ould mother that'll be wearin' the\nfine duds and wurruk no more.\"\n\nAnd then the boy, sick with shame and fear, would steal from the\nhouse--anywhere to be out of the sight of her and the sound of her\nvoice.\n\nSometimes the Terror would grip him in his sleep, in the middle of the\nwinter night, when the wind shrieked under the shingles on the cabin\nroof or the cold rain drove against the window-pane. More than once he\nstarted up, broad awake, with the smell of sweating horseflesh sharp\nand agonizing in his nostrils. Once it was the sound of his own voice\nthat woke him, and he was crying out:\n\n\"Come on, yew baby, come, come, yew gal!\"\n\nThen he sat on the edge of his cot, with the blanket over his\nshoulders, until daybreak, with such thoughts as a boy may know.\n\nBut on a sunny morning in February, it was Tim who stood in the great\ndoorway of the stallion stable at The Vale, saying to the Colonel:\n\n\"Thought mebbe I could help yew with the two-year-olds.\"\n\nDay by day he strove with himself. Little by little he fought the\nTerror down. The very smell of the stables turned him faint for a week.\nHe used to creep into King Faraway's box-stall when the big horse\nstood, wet under his blanket, after his morning gallop, and bury his\nface in the stallion's mane and rub his nose along the giant withers,\ntill at last the horrible smell of sweating horseflesh had power\nto terrify him no more. It was weeks before he could mount without\ntrembling, but at last he came to do it and--to hope.\n\nAt last came April, and one evening, as Tim was helping with the\nfeeding, he heard the Colonel's voice calling him. He trembled a\nlittle, for he knew what was coming.\n\n\"I've a letter from Faulkner,\" said the Colonel, \"and he's asking\nfor you, Tim. Shall I tell him you'll be up with the new batch of\nyoungsters?\" It was the cast of the die.\n\n\"I reck'n,\" said Tim stoutly.\n\nBut it wasn't quite the same old Sheepshead Bay that Tim went back to.\nHe did his work as faithfully and skilfully as ever. His hand was just\nas light and sure; he had not lost his sense of pace. But the first\npale light of day did not send him out to the stables with every nerve\nin his lithe body tingling for very joy of the work that was coming.\nAnd once, when he saw a stable-boy thrown--the Terror rose at him\nagain; not with the old terrible leap, to be sure, but he saw Its face\nfor an instant.\n\nHe will never forget his first race that spring. Again he rode a\ntwo-year-old, and he won without difficulty, nobody guessed at what\nexpense. As the season went on, he rode again and again, and sometimes\nhe won, and oftener not.\n\nBut Faulkner saw and shook his head. If Tim's horse won, it was because\nits own speed and the judgment of its rider did it. Nobody ever saw Tim\ntake a chance. Other boys might leave him space to squeeze through if\nthey liked. He never did it. It was the longest way 'round and plain\nsailing for Tim. No mad, brilliant rush for the rail. No fine finishes\nfrom unlucky beginnings.\n\nAnd Faulkner watched and saw it all. Once the boy caught the trainer\nlooking at him, thoughtful and puzzled. A big lump rose in his throat\nand strangled him, and he stumbled away with his grief. It seemed to\nhim that he could not live on any longer. He grew even more grave and\nsilent as the days went on, shunned the other stable-boys, and kept\nstolidly to himself.\n\nIt had to end sometime, somehow, and the ending of it was\nnotable--because Tim was Tim, I suppose.\n\nFor the Suburban Handicap, with the Brooklyn the greatest of the\nclassic races for the older horses, the Holland stable had two\ncandidates. The first was the five-year-old Gladstone, son of Juniper\nand winner of fifteen races, one of them a Metropolitan. The second\nwas Kate Greenaway, a three-year-old filly by King Faraway, whose only\nclaim to distinction was that she had won third place in the Futurity\nof the preceding year. But, though Gladstone was the stable's main\nreliance, the filly's work had been dazzling, and the shrewd Faulkner\nhad hopes of her.\n\nBud Noble, as stable jockey, was to ride Gladstone, while the trainer\nrelied on the light-weight Ban Johnson, on whom the stable had second\ncall, to handle Kate Greenaway. Tim knew the filly as no one else knew\nher or could know her. Down at The Vale, before ever he came to the\nraces, he had been the first to put halter and bridle on her; his small\nlegs were the first to bestride her; he had broken her to the barrier\nuntil she seemed actually to like the thing, and in her work she had\nbeen his especial charge. But he had never ridden her in a race.\n\nThe running of a big handicap at a Metropolitan track is an impressive\nevent, even to the man who knows nothing of horses. To him who loves\nthe thoroughbred it is inspiring. To Tim it was something more than\nthat--a thing to make you tremble.\n\nAll morning the boy hung uneasily about the stable. He ate scarcely\nany dinner and roved restlessly about until it was time to take the\nfilly to the paddock. He got her there just as the horses were going to\nthe post for the third race. The Suburban was the fourth. Up and down\nunder the great shed he walked his charge, blanketed and hooded, in the\nwake of towering, black Gladstone. Soon a shouting from the grandstand\nannounced that the third race was over.\n\nThen came a rush of hundreds to see the Suburban horses saddled. One\nby one, the candidates filed out to the track for their warming-up\ngallops--Boston, top-weight, favorite and winner of the Metropolitan,\nand second in the Brooklyn; Carley, winner of the Advance the season\nbefore; Catchall, the speedy Hastings mare; and all the rest--all save\nKate Greenaway. Once, in a warming-up gallop, she had run away, and\nFaulkner would never take chances with her after that. So Tim walked\nher up and down by herself, thankful, yet ashamed, that somebody else\nwas to ride her.\n\nSuddenly the stable foreman ran up.\n\n\"Hi, you Tim,\" he shouted, \"hustle over to the dressin' room an' git on\nyer duds. Skin along, now, no time to lose.\"\n\nTim stood gaping.\n\n\"Git a move on--git a move! My Gawd! You ain't got no time to lose.\nBan's fell down an' sprained his ankle.\"\n\nTim trudged over to the jockey's house, his eyes on the ground. Over in\nthe paddock, Faulkner listened stubbornly to the foreman.\n\n\"I tell you,\" the latter was saying, \"the kid's lost his nerve. Ain't\nyou seen it all along? He ain't took a chance sence his tumble. Why\ndontcher give the mount to Tyson or Biff Barry? They ain't neither of\n'em got a mount.\"\n\n\"Nothin' doin',\" rejoined the trainer. \"The kid knows the\nfilly--brought her up, almost. He can ride, too, if he don't get in\na tight place, an' that ain't likely. Tyson can't make the weight.\nB'sides, I told the Colonel I'd give the kid a chance. An',\" he\nconcluded, \"this is it.\"\n\n\"All right,\" said the foreman, \"but you'll see. He's lost his nerve.\nWhy, he got white eraoun' the gills when I tol' him.\"\n\n  [Illustration: \"HE SAT ON THE EDGE OF HIS COT, WITH THE BLANKET OVER\n  HIS SHOULDERS, UNTIL DAYBREAK\"]\n\nTim had grown like a weed since he first saw Sheepshead Bay, but it\nwas a slender, fragile figure that the trainer tossed into the chestnut\nfilly's saddle when the bugle blew.\n\n\"Now, kid,\" said Faulkner quietly, throwing one arm over the crupper,\n\"you're third from the rail. You know the filly as well as I do. She's\nfit to the minute. She'll run in 2.03, if she ain't rushed in the first\nhalf. Hold yer place an' let the sprinters do their sprintin'. They'll\ncome back. Keep her goin' her pace for a mile, an' if you have to ride\nher the last quarter, make her sweat for it. She's game fer a drive.\nThey don't make 'em no gamer.\"\n\nThe lad heard scarcely a word. He wasn't frightened. He was sullen,\nrebellious against--against everything. It was one more race to\nhim--commonplace, perfunctory, tiresome. He was going to get through\nwith it in the easiest way he could. He thought with relief of the wide\nspaces and easy turns of the great track.\n\n\"Keep up yer nerve, kid,\" said Bud Noble, turning in his saddle and\nlooking back at Tim as the field filed through the paddock gate.\n\nTim grinned scornfully. What a notion! Why should anybody need nerve\nto gallop a horse around a track? He had only one idea--to keep out\nof trouble. So, perfectly calm and very much bored, he danced to the\nstarting-gate on the chestnut filly. He paid little attention to the\nfretful doings there. He was haunted by no fear that he might be left.\nIt was a nuisance to have to keep an eye on the vicious heels of Baldy,\nthe swayback gelding at his left--that was all.\n\nBut Kate Greenaway had no intention of being left. She kept her dainty\nnose on the webbing from the instant she got it there, for hadn't\nTim taught her that? And when, at last, all the fussing and fuming\nwas over, and the whips of the starter's assistants had ceased their\nhissing, and the pleadings and threats of the starter himself were\ndone, and the gate swished up before the fourteen racers, the filly's\nfirst bound beat the gate by half a length.\n\nTim was a trifle disgusted. \"Blast the filly, anyhow!\" he thought. It\nwas no part of his plan to lead that roaring field. He took a double\nwrap on the reins, and his mount came back till two lithe, lean forms\nslid up abreast her on the rail, and a third on the outside. That\nwas better, thought Tim, and the sprinters drew out ahead of him.\nContentedly he fell in on the rail behind them.\n\nA storm of dirt clods smote the filly in the face. Another pelted\nTim on the forehead. He took a tighter hold on Kate Greenaway, and\nthe sprinters drew away another length. It would have been an easy\nthing for him to choke her back still further, but somehow a surge\nof generous feeling for the game creature beat down his sullen\nselfishness, and he hadn't the heart to strangle her.\n\n  [Illustration: \"IN HIS EARS WAS THE ROAR FROM THIRTY THOUSAND THROATS\n  IN THE GRANDSTAND\"]\n\nThe leaders had by this time swung around the first turn, and as they\npassed the half-mile mark two noses intruded themselves on Tim's vision\non the outside.\n\n\"Hello,\" he thought, \"old long-distance Boston is movin' up. An'\nCarley, to keep him from gettin' lonesome.\" But the track was wide,\nthey ran straight and true and kept their distance.\n\nSuddenly the sprinters began to come back. In five seconds Tim would\nhave to pull up behind them. This was disgusting! If only he were on\nthe outside! A clod of earth struck his breast. Instinctively he let\nout a wrap on the reins.\n\nThe filly went up to the sprinters in ten jumps. As he ranged\nalongside, Tim took another hold on her. No more front positions for\nhim. He was outside, and he meant to stay there and be derned to 'em!\n\nThen one of the sprinters fell back, beaten already, and as Boston\nsomehow sifted into the vacant place Tim noted with a gasp that here\nwas the far turn already, and he was with the leaders. This surprised\nhim so much that the last turn leaped past before he realised that\nthere were only two horses between him and the rail. One of them was\nblack Boston, top-weight at one hundred and twenty-nine; the other was\nCarley.\n\nHe was getting a bit interested in spite of himself. The boys on the\nolder horses began to urge them a bit, and as they swung around the\nturn and into the stretch they drew away a couple of lengths. Tim sat\nstill. He was in that delightful outside place, with acres of room. He\neven glanced over at the in-field where the patrol judge stood with his\nglasses to his eyes. He remembered afterward that that official's weird\nwhiskers amused him. Then something happened.\n\nKate Greenaway became mistress of herself. As she swung round the turn,\na wide space confronted her, left by the leaders between themselves and\nthe rail. Kate Greenaway had been taught to hunt that rail as a homing\npigeon its cote. She sought it now so sharply that Tim all but lost his\nseat.\n\nInstantly the boy awoke. He remembered the prize he was riding for--the\nSuburban! the Suburban! Straight before him for a quarter of a mile\ngleamed the track, yellow in the June sunlight. Nothing to do but\nride--straight--straight to the wire.\n\nAll the slumbering life in his body awoke from its sullen sleep. He\nblessed the splendid filly racing so true and so strong beneath him,\nand he sat down for the first time to help her with every ounce of his\npower and every trace of his skill.\n\nHe knew she could win. He knew she had been going well within herself,\nand still she was where she could strike. Now was the time to ride,\nand he rode as he had never ridden before, standing in the stirrups,\ncrouched over the gallant filly's neck, rising and falling in perfect\nrhythm with her every stride. And, bless her! that stride had not begun\nto shorten yet.\n\nSteadily she crept up on the older horses fighting their duel before\nher. Tim could see from the tail of his eye that both their riders were\nworking for dear life--and he had only just begun to ride. His heart\nbounded again beneath his brilliant jacket, and again he urged the\nfilly.\n\nBut what was that? Surely, surely his path was growing narrower. In six\nstrides more he was sure of it. Carley, on the outside, was boring in\nunder the drive, and Boston was pulling in to keep from fouling.\n\nThere's no time to pick daisies in the last furlong of the Suburban.\nAll the months of Tim's purgatory called to him to pull up before\nthey squeezed him against that deadly rail. He tried to do it, but\nhis wrists had gone limp. The next instant the bay and the black were\nrunning stride for stride half a length before the filly--and closing\nin.\n\nThen rose the Terror and gripped Tim by the throat. The moment had\ncome. They had pinned him on the rail.\n\nUnder the gruelling drive Carley staggered again. He bumped Boston. Tim\nfelt the big horse graze his boot as he wavered. Instantly that pungent\nsmell of sweating horseflesh stung his nostrils, and with it flashed\nthe memory of that awful day to smite him helpless.\n\nAgain he tried to pull up, and again he failed. His wrists were\npalsied. Why didn't he fall! Oh, why didn't he fall!\n\nUnder his quaking knees the withers of the gallant filly still rose and\nfell, mightily, rhythmically; her lean, beautiful neck stretched out\nas if to meet the goal, her nostrils wide and blood-red, through which\nthe air came and went, roaring, like the escape of steam from a mighty\nvalve, her eyeballs starting from their sockets.\n\nThen sickening shame smote him on his quivering lips. He seemed to\nrealise for the first time that the filly was waging her terrible fight\nalone.\n\nThe Terror dropped from the boy like a bad dream when one awakes. A\nfrenzy of pride and love for the filly swept over him. He had no hope.\nThe next instant he would hear that terrified roar of the crowd, the\ntrack would leap up to meet him, that flash of red would smite him,\nand blackness would fold him about. But the beautiful filly should not\ngo down with a coward astride her! He found himself talking to her as\nof old, crouching low till his lips all but brushed her fine, straight\nears:\n\n\"Come on, yew gal! Katie--yew Katie! Come on! Almos' home! Almos'!\nCome--come, yew darlin'!\"\n\nCloser pressed the driven Boston, till his rider's stirrup locked\nTim's. And then the boy knew that the last moment had come. It was fall\nor win and instantly. In his ears was the creak and protest of the\nstraining saddles and girths, the roar from thirty thousand throats in\nthe grandstand, the whistle of the breath of three great horses locked\nin a desperate struggle, the thunder of the flying hoofs behind him. He\nhad the right of way--let them unbar it, or crash to destruction--all\nthree!\n\nGripping the reins with his right hand, he raised his whip in his left\nand let it fall, once--twice--three times. Somewhere in her straining,\nbreathless, driven body the filly had one ounce more left. Gallantly,\ninstantly, she gave it. The rail grazed the boy's left boot. His right\nwas driven up to the filly's loins.\n\nShe faltered--but she was through--through that strangling pocket,\nreeling, staggering, half-blind and splendid, and the Suburban was hers\nby a nod.\n\nThey lifted Tim in the famous floral horse-shoe, and they cheered and\ncheered him again. \"Grandest finish I ever see,\" said Faulkner, and \"My\nGawd! what a drive!\" said the stable foreman, gaping.\n\nBut to little Tim it meant only one thing--the greatest, most beautiful\nthing that could be--the Terror was gone forever. He took a deep breath\nand looked about him on a new world.\n\n\n\n\n  [Illustration]\n\nJAPAN'S STRENGTH IN WAR\n\nBY GENERAL KUROPATKIN\n\nTRANSLATED BY GEORGE KENNAN\n\nILLUSTRATED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS\n\n\nAlthough the trial of war through which our country and our army passed\nin 1904-5 is now a subject for history, the material thus far collected\nis not sufficiently abundant to enable the historian to estimate fairly\nthe events that preceded the war, nor to give a detailed explanation\nof the defeats that we sustained in the course of it. It is urgently\nnecessary, however, that we should make immediate use of our recent\nexperience, because by ascertaining the nature of our mistakes and the\nweaknesses of our troops we may learn what means should be adopted\nto increase, hereafter, the material and spiritual strength of our\nmilitary force.\n\nIn times past, when wars were carried on by small standing armies,\ndefeats did not affect the every-day interests of the whole nation\nso profoundly as they affect them now, when the obligation to render\nmilitary service is general, and when, in time of war, most of our\nsoldiers are drawn from the great body of the people. If a war is to\nbe successful, in these days, it must be carried on, not by an army,\nbut by an armed nation, and in such a contest all sides of the national\nlife are more seriously affected and all defeats are more acutely felt\nthan they were in times past.\n\nWhen the national pride has been humiliated by failure in war, attempts\nare usually made to ascertain what brought about the failure and who\nwas responsible for it. Some persons attribute it to general causes,\nothers to special causes. Some censure the system, or the regime,\nwhile others throw the blame on particular individuals. I have been\nso closely connected with immensely important events in the Far East,\nand have been responsible to such an extent for the failure of our\nmilitary operations there, that I can hardly hope to take an absolutely\ndispassionate and objective view of the persons and matters that I\nshall deal with in the present work; but my object is not so much\nto justify myself by replying to the charges that have been brought\nagainst me personally as to furnish material that will make it easier\nfor the future historian to state fairly the reasons for our defeat,\nand thus render possible the adoption of measures that will prevent\nsuch defeats hereafter. The army that Russia put into the field in\n1904-5 was unable, in the time allowed, to conquer the Japanese; and\nyet Japan, only a short time before the war began, had no regular army\nand was regarded by us as a second-class Power. How was she able to win\na complete victory over Russia at sea, and to defeat a powerful Russian\narmy on land? Many writers will study this question and, in time, they\nwill give us a comprehensive answer to it; but I shall confine myself,\nin the present work, to an enumeration of the most broad and general\nreasons for Japanese success. Among the most important of such reasons\nis the following:--we did not fully appreciate the material and moral\nstrength of Japan and did not regard a conflict with her seriously\nenough.[A]\n\n\n_The Secret Growth of Japan's Army_\n\nThe Japanese first became our neighbors when, in the reign of Peter\nthe Great, we acquired the peninsula of Kamchatka. In 1860, by virtue\nof the Treaty of Peking, we took peaceful possession of the extensive\nUsuri territory; moved down to the boundary of Korea; and obtained\nan outlet on the Sea of Japan. This sea, which is almost completely\nenclosed by Korea and the Japanese islands, was immensely important\nto the whole adjacent coast of the main land; but as the straits that\nconnected it with the ocean were in the hands of the Japanese, we might\neasily be prevented by them from getting free access to the Pacific.\nWhen we acquired the island of Sakhalin, we obtained an outlet through\nthe Tartar Strait; but that was all we had, and during a large part of\nthe time it was frozen over.\n\nFor a long time, Japan lived a life that was wholly apart from ours and\ndid not particularly attract our attention. We knew the Japanese as\nextremely skilful and patient artisans; we were fond of the things that\nthey made; and we were charmed with the delicacy and bright coloring of\ntheir artistic products; but, from a military point of view, we took no\ninterest in them and regarded them as a weak nation. Our sailors always\nspoke with sympathetic appreciation of the country and its inhabitants,\nand were delighted to stay in Japanese ports--especially Nagasaki,\nwhere they were liked and favorably remembered; but our travellers,\ndiplomats, and naval officers entirely overlooked the awakening of an\nenergetic, independent people.\n\nIn 1867, the army of Japan consisted of nine battalions of infantry,\ntwo squadrons of cavalry, and eight batteries, and numbered only 10,000\nmen. This force, which formed the _cadre_ of the present army, had French\nteachers and adopted from the latter the French uniform. After the\nFranco-German war of 1870-71, German officers took the places of the\nFrench instructors; military service was made a national obligation;\nand Japanese officers were sent to Europe, every year, for the purpose\nof study. At the time of her war with China, Japan had an army\nconsisting of seven infantry divisions; but finding herself unable, at\nthe end of that war, to retain the fruits of her victory, on account\nof her weakness both on land and at sea, she made every possible\neffort to create an army and a fleet that would be strong enough to\nprotect her interests. On the 19th of March, 1896, the Mikado issued\na decree providing for such a reorganization of the army as would\ndouble its strength in the course of seven years. This reorganization\nwas completed in 1903. Our military and naval authorities did not\noverlook the creation and development in Japan of a strong army and\nfleet; but they confined themselves to the collection and tabulation of\nstatistics. We kept an account of every ship built and every division\nof troops organized; but we did not estimate highly enough these\nbeginnings of Japan, and did not admit the possibility of measuring her\nfighting-power by European standards. The latest information that we\nhad with regard to her military strength, prior to the late war, was\ncompiled by our General Staff from the reports of Colonel Vannofski\nand other Russian military agents in Tokio. It showed that her army,\non a peace footing, numbered 8,116 officers and 133,457 men (not\nincluding the troops in Formosa); and on a war footing, 10,735 officers\n(not including reserve officers) and 348,074 men, with perhaps 50,000\nuntrained reserve recruits. There was no mention of additional reserve\nforces.\n\n\n_Russian Generals Pigeonhole Reports of Japan's Fighting Strength_\n\nIn 1903 Colonel Adabash, who had just visited Japan, gave to General\nZhilinski, of our General Staff, very important information with regard\nto new reserves which the Japanese were organizing for service in case\nof war. Inasmuch, however, as this information did not agree at all\nwith that previously furnished by Colonel Vannofski, General Zhilinski\ndid not give it credence. A few months later, Captain Rusine, a very\ntalented officer who was acting as naval observer in Japan, made a\nsimilar report upon Japanese reserves to his superiors, and extracts\nfrom it were furnished to General Sakharoff, Chief of Staff of the\narmy. Although the information contained in this report ultimately\nproved to be perfectly accurate, the report was pigeonholed, simply\nbecause Generals Zhilinski and Sakharoff did not believe it; and in our\ncompendium of data with regard to the military strength of Japan in\n1903-4, no reference whatever was made to additional reserve forces.\nAccording to the figures of our General Staff, therefore, the total\nnumber of available men in the standing army, the territorial army, and\nthe regular reserve of Japan, was a little more than 400,000.[B]\n\n  [Illustration: _Stereograph copyright, 1904, by Underwood & Underwood_\n\n  SCHOOL CHILDREN BEING DRILLED IN MILITARY TACTICS NEAR TOKIO, JAPAN]\n\nRecently published official reports of General Kipke, Chief Medical\nInspector of the Japanese army, show that the loss of the Japanese in\nkilled and wounded, in the course of the war, was as follows:\n\n  Killed         47,387\n  Wounded       173,425\n\n     Total      220,812\n\nTheir loss in killed, wounded, and sick was 554,885--a number\nconsiderably greater than the whole force which, according to the\nfigures of our General Staff, they could put into the field. They sent\n320,000 sick and wounded back from Manchuria to Japan.\n\n  [Illustration: VISCOUNT KATSURA\n\n  PRIME MINISTER OF JAPAN DURING THE RUSSIAN-JAPANESE WAR]\n\nOther available information is to the effect that the bodies of 60,624\nkilled were buried in the cemetery of honor in Tokio, and that, in\naddition to these, 75,545 men died from wounds or disease. The Japanese\nthus admit the loss of 135,000 men by death.[C]\n\nTheir Chief Medical Inspector says that their killed and wounded\namounted to 14.58 per cent of their entire force, from which it would\nappear that they put into the field against us troops of various\ncategories to the number of 1,500,000--or more than three times the\nestimate of our General Staff. In view of these facts, it is evident\nthat our information with regard to their fighting strength was\ninsufficient. At the time when they had hundreds of avowed and secret\nagents in the Far East, studying the strength of our land and naval\nforces, we entrusted the collection of data with regard to their\nmilitary strength and resources to a single officer of the General\nStaff, and, unfortunately, our military observers were not always\nwell selected. One of these experts in Japanese affairs said, in\nVladivostok, before hostilities began, that, in the event of war, we\nmight count on one Russian soldier as equal to three Japanese. After\nthe first engagements he moderated his tone and admitted that it might\nbe necessary to put one Russian against every Japanese. At the end of\nanother month he declared that, in order to win victories, we must meet\nevery Japanese soldier in the field with three Russians. Another of\nour military agents, who had been in Japan, predicted authoritatively\nthat Port Arthur would fall in a very short time, and that immediately\nthereafter the same fate would overtake Vladivostok. I sharply\nreprimanded the faint-hearted babbler and threatened to dismiss him\nfrom the army if he continued to make such injurious and inopportune\nremarks.\n\n\n_Moral Superiority of the Japanese_\n\nBut it was not only with regard to Japan's material strength that\nour information was insufficient. We underestimated, or entirely\noverlooked, her moral strength. According to that great leader\nNapoleon, three fourths of an army's success in war is due to the moral\ncharacter of its soldiers. This relation of moral character to material\nsuccess still exists, although the conditions of battle, in these\ndays, are more trying than they were in the Napoleonic wars. And now,\nmore than ever before, the moral strength of the army depends upon the\ntemper of the nation. Armies are now so organized that, in case of war,\nsoldiers are drawn, for the most part, from the reserves. A successful\nwar, therefore, must be a popular war, and victory must be attained by\nthe hearty cooperation of the whole people with its Government.\nThe recent contest in Manchuria was a popular war for the Japanese, but\nnot for us. The Korean question, and the question of naval supremacy\non the waters of the Pacific, involved vital Japanese interests, and\nthe immense importance of these interests was so clearly understood\nand so fully appreciated by the Japanese people that the war for their\nprotection was a national war. Japan spent ten years in preparing\nfor it, and then the whole nation carried it on. Japanese soldiers,\ndeeply conscious of the bearing that their exploits might have on\nthe future of the country, fought with a self-sacrificing devotion\nand a stubbornness that we had never seen in any war in which we had\npreviously been engaged. Sometimes, in villages that we had taken by\nassault, a handful of Japanese soldiers would barricade themselves in\nnative houses and die there rather than retreat or surrender. Japanese\nofficers who fell into our hands--even wounded officers--generally\ncommitted suicide.\n\nIt is quite possible that when we have a true history of the war based\non Japanese sources of information, our pride may receive another blow.\nWe already know that in many cases we outnumbered the enemy, and still\nwe were not victorious. The explanation of this, however, is very\nsimple. The Japanese, in these cases, were inferior to us materially,\nbut they were stronger than we morally.[D] To this aspect of the\nstruggle we should give particular attention, because military history\nshows that, in all wars, the antagonist who is strongest morally wins\nthe victory. The only exceptions are such contests as that between the\nEnglish and the Boers in South Africa and that between the North and\nthe South in America. The English were weaker than the Boers morally,\nbut they put into the field an overwhelming force, and, in spite of\nmany defeats, they finally conquered. In the American war, the army\nof the South was in the same position that the Boer army was, and the\nNortherners had to put a superior force into the field in order to\novercome it.\n\n  [Illustration: GENERAL TERAUCHI\n\n  JAPANESE MINISTER OF WAR]\n\n\n_Extraordinary Popularity of the War in Japan_\n\nAmong the sources of moral strength that failed to attract our\nattention in Japan were the following: The training of her citizens had\nlong been patriotic and warlike in tendency; her educational system had\ninculcated an ardent love of country; and even in her primary schools\nchildren were prepared, from their earliest years, to be soldiers. The\npeople regarded the army with profound respect and trust, and young\nmen served in it with pride. All these things we failed to see, and we\noverlooked also the iron discipline enforced in the army and the role\nplayed in it by the samurai officers. We wholly failed to appreciate,\nmoreover, the vital importance of the Korean question to Japan, and the\nstrength of the hostile feeling that was raised against us when the\nJapanese were deprived of the fruits of their victory after their war\nwith China. The party of Young Japan had long insisted upon war with\nRussia and had been restrained only by a prudent Government.\n\nWhen the war began, we recovered our powers of perception, but it was\nthen too late. And at that time, when the war was not only unpopular\nin Russia but incomprehensible to the Russian people, the Japanese,\nwith a great outburst of enthusiastic patriotism, were responding,\nlike a single man, to the call to arms. In some cases Japanese mothers\neven killed themselves, when their sons, on account of weakness or ill\nhealth, were denied admission to the army. Hundreds of men volunteered\nto undertake the most desperate enterprises, in the face of certain\ndeath; and many officers and soldiers, before going to the front, had\nfuneral ceremonies performed over their bodies, in order to show that\nthey intended to die for their native land. The youth of the Empire\ncrowded into the army, and the heads of the most distinguished families\nsought to serve their country by enlisting themselves, by sending\ntheir sons to the front, or by helping to pay the expenses of the war.\nSome Japanese regiments, in attacking our positions, threw themselves\nwith the cry of \"Banzai!\" upon our obstructions, struggled over or\nthrough them, filled our ditches with the bodies of their dead, and\nthen, rushing across upon the corpses of their comrades, forced their\nway into our entrenchments. The army and the whole people appreciated\nthe importance of the war, understood the significance of the events\nthat were taking place, and were ready to make sacrifices in order to\nachieve success.\n\n  [Illustration: _Copyrighted by Underwood & Underwood_\n\n  GENERAL KODAMA\n\n  CHIEF STAFF OFFICER OF THE JAPANESE ARMY IN MANCHURIA]\n\n\n_Military Training of Japanese Children_\n\nAfter the Japanese-Chinese war, of which I made a most careful and\ndetailed study, I myself was inspired with a feeling of respect for the\nJapanese army and watched its growth with anxiety. Then, in 1900, the\npart played by the Japanese troops that cooperated with ours in the\nprovince of Pechili confirmed me in the belief that they were excellent\nsoldiers. During my short stay in Japan, I was unable to acquaint\nmyself thoroughly with the country and its military forces, but what I\ndid learn was enough to convince me that the results attained by the\nJapanese in the course of twenty-five or thirty years were astounding.\nI saw a beautiful country, with a large and industrious population.\nIntense activity prevailed everywhere, and I was impressed by the\npeople's joy in life, their love of country, and their faith in\ntheir future. In their military school, where I saw a Spartan system\nof education, the exercises of the cadets with pikes, rifles, and\nbroadswords were not approached by anything of the kind that I had\nwitnessed in Europe,--it was fighting of the fiercest character. At\nthe end of the struggle there was a hand-to-hand combat, which lasted\nuntil the victors stood triumphant over the bodies of the vanquished\nand tore off their masks. In these exercises, which were very severe,\nthe cadets struck one another fiercely and with wild cries; but the\nmoment a prearranged signal was given, or the fight came to an end,\nthe combatants drew themselves up in a line and their faces assumed an\nexpression of wooden composure.\n\n  [Illustration: _Stereograph copyrighted by the H. C. White Co._\n\n  MARSHAL OYAMA\n\n  COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF IN MANCHURIA OF THE JAPANESE ARMY DURING THE\n  RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR]\n\nIn all the public schools prominence was given to military exercises,\nand the pupils took part in them with enthusiasm. Even in their walks\nthey practised running, flanking, and sudden, unexpected attacks of\none party on another. The history of Japan was everywhere made a means\nof strengthening the pupils' patriotism and their belief in Japan's\ninvincibility. Particular stress was laid upon the country's successful\nwars, the heroes of them were extolled, and the children were taught\nthat none of Japan's military enterprises had ever failed.\n\n\n_Japan's Material Resources_\n\nIn the manufactories of arms I saw the turning out of rifles in immense\nnumbers, and the work was being done swiftly, accurately, and cheaply.\nIn Kobe and Nagasaki I inspected attentively the ship-building yards,\nwhere they were constructing not only torpedo boats but armored\ncruisers, and where all the work was being done by their own mechanics\nand foremen under the direction of their own engineers. At the great\nnational exposition in Osaka there was a splendid and instructive\ndisplay of the country's manufactures, including textiles, products of\ncottage industry, complicated instruments, grand pianos, and guns of\nthe largest caliber--all made in Japan, by Japanese workmen, and out of\nJapanese materials. I saw nothing of foreign origin except raw cotton\nand iron, which were imported from China and Europe. And the products\ndisplayed at this exposition were not more worthy of attention than the\nobservant, courteous, and always dignified throng of Japanese visitors.\n\nIn the agriculture of Japan many of the methods were ancient, but the\nculture was unquestionably high. The fields were carefully worked,\nand the effort to make every foot of land yield all that it could,\nthe struggle to raise crops even on the mountain sides, and the\ninsufficiency of the country's food products despite this intensive\nculture, showed that the people were becoming overcrowded on their\nislands, and that the Korean question was for them a question of vital\nimportance. I lived ten days among the fishermen, and saw something\nof the reverse side of Japan's rapid development under European\nconditions. Many complaints were made to me of heavy taxes, which\nhad increased greatly in later years, and of the high cost of the\nnecessaries of life.\n\nI witnessed reviews of the Japanese troops, including the division\nof Guards, two regiments of the First Division, two regiments of\ncavalry, and many batteries. The marching was admirable, and the\ncommon soldiers appeared like our younkers. The officers and leaders\nof the Japanese army whom I saw and met made upon me a very favorable\nimpression. The culture and knowledge of military affairs that many\nof them possessed would have given them places of honor in any army.\nWith General Terauchi, the Japanese Minister of War, I had had\nfriendly relations ever since 1886, when we met in France at the\ngreat manoeuvers directed by General Levalle. Among others whose\nacquaintance I made were Generals Yamagata, Oyama, Kodama, Fukushima,\nNodzu, Hasegawa, and Murata, and the Imperial princes, Fushimi and\nKanin. In spite of a terrible war, which has separated by a barrier\nnations that were apparently created for union and friendship, I\nstill cherish a sympathetic feeling for my Tokio acquaintances.\nEspecially do I remember with respect their ardent love of country and\ntheir devotion to their Emperor--feelings that they have since made\nmanifest in deeds. I met also in Tokio many leaders in fields other\nthan that of war, among whom were Ito, Katsura, and Komura. In the\nreport that I made to the Emperor, after my return from Japan, I placed\nthe military power of the Japanese on a level with that of European\nnations. I regarded one of our battalions as equal to two battalions of\nJapanese in defence, but I estimated that in attack we should have two\nbattalions to their one. The test of war has shown that my conclusions\nwere correct. There were lamentable cases, of course, in which the\nJapanese, with a smaller number of battalions, drove our forces from\nthe positions that they occupied; but these results were due either to\nmistakes in the direction of our troops, or to numerical inferiority\nin the fighting strength of our battalions. In the last days of the\nbattle of Mukden, some of our brigades consisted of hardly more than a\nthousand bayonets. It is evident that the Japanese had to put into the\nfield only two or three battalions in order to deal successfully with a\nbrigade of such depleted strength.\n\nAll that I saw and learned of Japan, or her military strength, and of\nthe nature of her problems in the Far East, convinced me that it would\nbe necessary for us to come to a peaceable understanding with her, and\nthat we should have to make great concessions--concessions that, at\nfirst sight, might seem humiliating to our national pride--in order to\navoid war with her. As I have already said, I did not hesitate even\nto propose the return of Port Arthur and Kwang-tung to China and the\nsale of the southern branch of the Eastern Chinese Railway. I foresaw\nthat the threatened war would be extremely unpopular in Russia; that\nthere would be no manifestation of patriotic spirit, on account of the\npeople's ignorance of the objects of the war; and that the leaders of\nthe anti-Government party would avail themselves of the opportunity\nto increase domestic discontent and disorder. I did not, however,\nanticipate that the Japanese would display so much energy, activity,\ncourage, and lofty patriotism, and I therefore erred in my estimate of\nthe time that the struggle would require. In view of the insufficiency\nof our railroad transportation, we should have allowed three years for\nthe war, instead of the year and a half that I thought would be enough.\n\nWith all their strong points, the Japanese manifested weaknesses that\nmay be shown again in future wars. I shall not enumerate them, but I\nwill say that, in many cases, the outcome of the fight was in doubt,\nand that in other cases we escaped defeat only through the errors of\nthe Japanese commanders. There is a saying that \"the victor is not\njudged.\" I may add that to the victor is rendered homage, and this is\ntrue of the Japanese. The general tone of the whole press was favorable\nto them, and even their practical and well-balanced heads might well\nhave been turned by the praise that they received. No one went further\nin this direction than Count Leo Tolstoi. In an article published in\na foreign journal,[E] our gifted author and philosopher expressed\nthe conviction that the Japanese defeated us because, owing to their\nwarlike patriotism and the power of their ruling authorities, they are\nthe mightiest nation on earth, and are not to be conquered by any one,\neither at sea or on land.\n\n  [Illustration: _Stereograph copyrighted by Underwood & Underwood_\n\n  JAPANESE ARMY TRANSPORTATION CORPS MOVING ONE OF THE GREAT SIEGE GUNS\n  WHICH WERE USED IN THE DESTRUCTION OF PORT ARTHUR]\n\nThe strength of Japan was in the complete union of her people, army,\nand government, and it was this union that gave her the victory. We\ncarried on the contest with our army alone, and even the army was\nweakened by the unfavorable disposition of the people toward all things\nmilitary. Our aims in the Far East were not understood by our officers\nand soldiers, and, furthermore, the general feeling of discontent\nwhich already prevailed in all classes of our population made the war\nso hateful that it aroused no patriotism whatever. Many good officers\nhastened to offer their services--a fact that is easily explained--but\nall ranks of society remained indifferent. A few hundreds of the common\npeople volunteered, but no eagerness to enter the army was shown by the\nsons of our high dignitaries, of our merchants, or of our scientific\nmen. Out of the tens of thousands of students who were then living\nin idleness,[F] many of them at the expense of the Empire, only a\nhandful volunteered,[G] while at that very time, in Japan, sons of the\nmost distinguished citizens--even boys fourteen and fifteen years of\nage--were striving for places in the ranks. Japanese mothers, as I have\nalready said, killed themselves through shame, when their sons were\nfound to be physically unfit for military service.\n\n\n_Russian Discipline Undermined by the Revolutionists_\n\nThe indifference of Russia to the bloody struggle which her sons were\ncarrying on--for little understood objects and in a foreign land--could\nnot fail to discourage even the best soldiers. Men are not inspired\nto deeds of heroism by such an attitude toward them on the part of\ntheir country. But Russia was not merely indifferent. Leaders of the\nrevolutionary party strove, with extraordinary energy, to multiply our\nchances of failure, hoping thus to facilitate the attainment of their\nown dark objects. There appeared a whole literature of clandestine\npublications, intended to lessen the confidence of officers in their\nsuperiors, to shake the trust of soldiers in their officers, and to\nundermine the faith of the whole army in the Government. In an \"Address\nto the Officers of the Russian Army,\" published and widely circulated\nby the Social Revolutionists, the main idea was expressed as follows:\n\n\"The worst and most dangerous enemy of the Russian people--in fact, its\nonly enemy--is the present Government. It is this Government that is\ncarrying on the war with Japan, and you are fighting under its banners\nin an unjust cause. Every victory that you win threatens Russia with\nthe calamity involved in the maintenance of what the Government calls\n'order,' and every defeat that you suffer brings nearer the hour of\ndeliverance. Is it surprising, therefore, that Russians rejoice when\nyour adversary is victorious?\"\n\nBut persons who had nothing in common with the Social Revolutionary\nparty, and who sincerely loved their country, gave aid to Russia's\nenemies by expressing the opinion, in the press, that the war was\nirrational, and by criticizing the mistakes of the Government that had\nfailed to prevent it. In a brochure entitled \"Thoughts Suggested by\nRecent Military Operations,\" M. Gorbatoff referred to such persons as\nfollows:\n\n\"But it is a still more grievous fact that while our heroic soldiers\nare carrying on a life-and-death struggle, these so-called friends of\nthe people whisper to them: 'Gentlemen, you are heroes, but you are\nfacing death without reason. You will die to pay for Russia's mistaken\npolicy, and not to defend Russia's vital interests.' What can be more\nterrible than the part played by these so-called friends of the people\nwhen they undermine in this way the intellectual faith of heroic men\nwho are going to their death? One can easily imagine the state of\nmind of an officer or soldier who goes into battle after reading,\nin newspapers or magazines, articles referring in this way to the\nirrationality and uselessness of the war. It is from these self-styled\nfriends of the people that the revolutionary party gets support in its\neffort to break down the discipline of our troops.\"\n\nSoldiers of the reserves, when called into active service, were\nfurnished by the anti-Government party with proclamations intended\nto prejudice them against their officers, and similar proclamations\nwere sent to the army in Manchuria. Troops in the field received\nletters apprising them of popular disorders in Russia, and men sick in\nhospitals, as well as men on duty in our advanced positions, read in\nthe newspapers articles that undermined their faith in their commanders\nand their leaders. The work of breaking down the discipline of the army\nwas carried on energetically, and, of course, it was not altogether\nfruitless. The leaders of the movement, in striving to attain their\nwell defined objects, took for their motto: \"The worse things are, the\nbetter\"; and the ideal at which they aimed was the state of affairs\nbrought about by the mutinous sailors on the armor-clad warship\n\"Potemkin.\" These enemies of the army and the country were aided by\ncertain other persons who were simply foolish and unreasonable. One can\nimagine the indignation that the Menchikoffs, the Kirilloffs and the\nKuprins would feel, if they were told that they played the same part in\nthe army that was played by the persons who incited the insubordination\non the \"Potemkin\"; yet such was the case. It would be difficult,\nindeed, to imagine anything that could have been said to the sailors of\nthe armor-clad for the purpose of exciting them against their officers\nthat would have been worse than the language of Menchikoff, when, in\nwriting of our army officers, he referred to their \"blunted conscience,\ntheir drunkenness, their moral looseness, and their inveterate\nlaziness.\" Firm in spirit though Russians might be, the indifference of\none class of the population, and the seditious incitement of another,\ncould hardly fail to have upon many of them an influence that was not\nfavorable to the successful prosecution of war.\n\n\n_Attacks of the Russian Press_\n\n  [Illustration: _Copyrighted by Underwood & Underwood_\n\n  SCENE IN SHIBA PARK, TOKIO, WHERE TOGO'S NAVAL VICTORY WAS CELEBRATED\n  WITH WILD ENTHUSIASM]\n\nThe party opposed to the Government distributed among our troops,\nespecially in the West, hundreds of thousands of seditious\nproclamations exhorting the soldiers to work for defeat rather than\nfor victory. Writers for newspapers and magazines, even though they\ndid not belong to the anti-Government party, contributed to its\nsuccess by lavishing abuse upon the army and its representatives. War\ncorrespondents, who knew little about our operations and still less\nabout those of the Japanese, and who based their statements, not upon\nwhat they had seen, but upon what they had heard from untrustworthy\nsources, increased the disaffection of the people by exaggerating the\nseriousness of our failures. Even army officers, writing from the\ntheatre of war, or after returning to Russia for reasons that were\nnot always creditable to them, sought to gain reputation by means of\nhasty criticism which was often erroneous in its statements of fact and\ngenerally discouraging or complaining in tone. On the fighting line,\nheroic men without number faced and fought the enemy courageously for\nmonths, without ever losing their faith in ultimate victory; but from\nthat part of the field little trustworthy news came. Brave soldiers,\nmodest junior officers, and the commanders of regiments, companies,\nsquadrons, and batteries in our advanced positions, did not write and\nhad no time to write of their own labors and exploits, and few of the\ncorrespondents were willing to share their perils for the sake of being\nable to observe and describe their heroic deeds. There were among the\ncorrespondents some brave men who sincerely wished to be of use; but\ntheir lack of even elementary training in military science made it\nimpossible for them to understand the complicated problems of war, and\ntheir work therefore was comparatively unproductive. The persons best\nqualified to see and judge, and to give information to the reading\npublic, were the foreign military observers, who were attached to our\narmies in the field and who, in many cases, were extremely fortunate\nselections. These officers felt a brotherly affection for the soldiers\nwhose perils and hardships they shared, and were regarded by the latter\nwith love and esteem. Their reports, however, are very long in coming\nto us.\n\n  [Illustration: _Stereograph copyrighted by the H. C. White Co._\n\n  JAPANESE ARTILLERY TRANSPORTING A 7-1\/2 C. M. MOUNTAIN GUN ACROSS THE\n  HILLS]\n\nSome of our correspondents, who lived in the rear of the army and saw\nthe seamy side of the war, wrote descriptions of drunkenness, revelry,\nand profligacy (at Kharbin, for example) which distressed our reading\npublic and gave a one-sided view of army life. Our press might have\nmade our first defeats a means of rousing the spirit of patriotism\nand self-sacrifice; it might have exhorted the people to redouble\ntheir efforts as the difficulties of the war increased; it might have\nhelped the Government to fill the gaps in our thinned ranks; it might\nhave encouraged the faint-hearted, called forth the country's noblest\nsons, and opened to the army new sources of material and spiritual\nstrength. But instead of doing any of these things, it played more or\nless into the hands of our foreign and domestic enemies; made the war\nhateful to the great mass of the population; depressed the spirits of\nsoldiers going to the front, and undermined, in every way, the latter's\nfaith in their officers and their rulers. This course of procedure\ndid not rouse in the nation a determination to increase its efforts\nand to win victory at last, in spite of all difficulties. Quite the\ncontrary! The soldiers who went to the front to fill up or reinforce\nour army carried with them seditious proclamations and the seeds of\nfuture defeats. Commanding officers in the Siberian military districts\nreported, as early as February, that detachments of supernumerary\ntroops and reservists had plundered several railway stations, and at\na later time regular troops, on their way to the front, were guilty\nof similar bad conduct. The drifting to the rear of large numbers\nof soldiers--especially the older reservists--while battles were in\nprogress, was due not so much to cowardice as to the unsettling of\nthe men's minds and to a disinclination on their part to continue the\nwar. I may add that the opening of peace negotiations in Portsmouth,\nat a time when we were preparing for decisive operations, affected\nunfavorably the morale of the army's strongest elements.\n\n\n_The Russian Army Cut Off from the Nation_\n\nMr. E. Martinoff, in an article entitled \"Spirit and Temper of the\nTwo Armies,\" points out that \"even in time of peace, the Japanese\npeople were so educated as to develop in them a patriotic and martial\nspirit. The very idea of war with Russia was generally popular, and\nthroughout the contest the army was supported by the sympathy of the\nnation. In Russia, the reverse was true. Patriotism was shaken by the\ndissemination of ideas of cosmopolitanism and disarmament, and in the\nmidst of a difficult campaign the attitude of the country toward the\narmy was one of indifference, if not of actual hostility.\"\n\nThis judgment is accurate, and it is evident, of course, that with\nsuch a relation between Russian society and the Manchurian army, it\nwas impossible to expect from the latter any patriotic spirit, or\nany readiness to sacrifice life for the sake of the fatherland. In\nan admirable article entitled \"The Feeling of Duty and the Love of\nCountry,\" published in the \"Russian Invalid\" in 1906, Mr. A. Bilderling\nexpressed certain profoundly true ideas as follows:\n\n\"Our lack of success may have been due, in part, to various and\ncomplicated causes; to the misconduct of particular persons, to bad\ngeneralship, to lack of preparation in the army and the navy, to\ninadequacy of material resources, and to misappropriations in the\ndepartments of equipment and supply; but the principal reason for our\ndefeat lies deeper, and is to be found in lack of patriotism, and in\nthe absence of a feeling of duty toward and love for the fatherland.\nIn a conflict between two peoples, the things of most importance are\nnot material resources, but moral strength, exaltation of spirit, and\npatriotism. Victory is most likely to be achieved by the nation in\nwhich these qualities are most highly developed. Japan had long been\npreparing for war with us; all of her people desired it; and a feeling\nof lofty patriotism pervaded the whole country. In her army and her\nfleet, therefore, every man, from the commander-in-chief to the last\nsoldier, not only knew what he was fighting for and what he might have\nto die for, but understood clearly that upon success in the struggle\ndepended the fate of Japan, her political importance, and her future in\nthe history of the world. Every soldier knew also that the whole nation\nstood behind him. With us, on the other hand, the war was unpopular\nfrom the very beginning. We neither desired it nor anticipated it, and,\nconsequently, we were not prepared for it. Soldiers were hastily put\ninto railway trains, and when, after a journey that lasted a month,\nthey alighted in Manchuria, they did not know in what country they\nwere, nor whom they were to fight, nor what the war was about. Even our\nhigher commanders went to the front unwillingly and from a mere sense\nof duty. The whole army, moreover, felt that it was regarded by the\ncountry with indifference; that its life was not shared by the people;\nand that it was a mere fragment, cut off from the nation, thrown to a\ndistance of nine thousand versts, and there abandoned to the caprice of\nfate. Before decisive fighting began, therefore, one of the contending\narmies advanced with the full expectation and confident belief that it\nwould be victorious, while the other went forward with a demoralizing\ndoubt of its own success.\"\n\nGenerally speaking, the man who conquers in war is the man who is\nleast afraid of death. We were unprepared in previous wars, as well\nas in this, and in previous wars we made mistakes; but when the\npreponderance of moral strength was on our side, as in the wars with\nthe Swedes, the French, the Turks, the Caucasian mountaineers and the\nnatives of Central Asia, we were victorious. In the late war, for\nreasons that are extremely complicated, our moral strength was less\nthan that of the Japanese; and it was this inferiority, rather than\nmistakes in generalship, that caused our defeats, and that forced us\nto make tremendous efforts in order to succeed at all. Our lack of\nmoral strength--as compared with the Japanese--affected all ranks of\nour army, from the highest to the lowest, and greatly reduced our\nfighting power. In a war waged under different conditions--a war in\nwhich the army had the confidence and encouragement of the country--the\nsame officers and the same troops would have accomplished far more\nthan they accomplished in Manchuria. The lack of martial spirit, of\nmoral exaltation, and of heroic impulse, affected particularly our\nstubbornness in battle. In many cases we did not have dogged resolution\nenough to conquer such antagonists as the Japanese. Instead of holding,\nwith unshakable tenacity, the positions assigned them, our troops often\nretreated, and, in such cases, our commanding officers of all ranks,\nwithout exception, lacked the power or the means to set things right.\nInstead of making renewed and extraordinary efforts to wrest victory\nfrom the enemy, they either permitted the retreat of the troops under\ntheir command, or themselves ordered such retreat. The army, however,\nnever lost its strong sense of duty; and it was this that enabled\nmany divisions, regiments, and battalions to increase their power\nof resistance with every battle. This peculiarity of the late war,\ntogether with our final acquirement of numerical preponderance and a\nnoticeable decline of Japanese ardor, gave us reason to regard the\nfuture with confidence, and left no room for doubt as to our ultimate\nvictory.\n\n\n_The Failure of the Russian Fleet_\n\nAmong other reasons for the success of the Japanese, I may mention the\nfollowing.\n\nThe leading part in the war was to have been taken by our fleet. In the\nGeneral Staff of the navy, as well as in that of the army, a detailed\naccount was kept of all Japan's ships of war; but the directors\nof naval affairs in the Far East reckoned only tonnage, guns, and\ncalibers, and when, in 1903, they found that the arithmetical totals\nof our Far Eastern fleet exceeded those of the entire Japanese fleet,\nthey adopted, as a basis for our plan of operations, the following\nconclusions:\n\n1. \"The relation that the strength of the Japanese fleet bears to the\nstrength of our fleet is such that the possibility of the defeat of the\nlatter is inadmissible.\"\n\n2. \"The landing of the Japanese at Yinkow, or in Korea Bay, is not to\nbe regarded as practicable.\"\n\nThe strength of the land force that a war with Japan would require\ndepended upon three things: (1) the strength of the army that the\nJapanese could put into Manchuria, or across our boundary; (2) the\nstrength of our fleet; and (3) the transporting capacity of the railway\nupon which our troops would have to depend in concentration. If our\nfleet could defeat the fleet of the Japanese, military operations on\nthe main land would be unnecessary. And even if the Japanese were\nnot defeated in a general naval engagement, they would either have\nto obtain complete mastery of the sea, or leave a considerable part\nof their army at home for the protection of their own coast. Without\ncommand of the sea, moreover, they could not risk a landing on the\nLiao-tung peninsula, but would have to march through Korea, and that\nwould give us time for concentration. By their desperate night attack\nupon our fleet at Port Arthur, before the declaration of war,[H] they\nobtained a temporary superiority in armored vessels, and made great\nuse of it in getting command of the sea. Our fleet--especially after\nthe death of Admiral Makaroff at the most critical moment in the\nexecution of the Japanese plan of campaign--offered no resistance to\nthe enemy whatever. Even when they landed in the immediate vicinity of\nPort Arthur, we did not make so much as an attempt to interfere with\nthem. The results of this inaction were very damaging to our army. The\nJapanese, instead of finding it impossible to land troops in Korea Bay,\nas our naval authorities anticipated, were able to threaten us with a\ndescent along the whole coast of the Liao-tung peninsula, beginning at\nKwang-tung. Notwithstanding our weakness on land, Admiral Alexeieff\nthought it necessary to authorize a wide scattering of our troops, so\nwe prepared to meet the Japanese on the Yalu, at Yinkow, and in the\nprovince of Kwang-tung. He had also permitted a dispersal of our naval\nforces, so that we were weak everywhere.\n\n\n_Advantages Secured by Japan's Naval Victory_\n\nInstead of making a landing in Korea only,--as was anticipated in the\nplan worked out at Port Arthur,--the Japanese, with their immense fleet\nof transports, landed three armies on the Liao-tung peninsula and a\nfourth in Korea. Then, leaving one army in front of Port Arthur, they\npushed the other three forward toward our forces, Which were slowly\nconcentrating on the Haicheng-Liaoyang line in southern Manchuria.\nThus, having taken the initiative at sea, they obtained the same\nadvantage on land. Their command of the sea enabled them to disregard\nthe defence of their own coast and move against us with their entire\nstrength. In this way--contrary to our anticipations--they were able,\nin the first stage of the war, to put into the field a force that was\nsuperior to ours. Command of the sea, moreover, made it possible for\nthem to supply their armies quickly with all necessary munitions, and\nto transport to the field, in a few days, masses of heavy supplies,\nwhich we, with our feeble railroad, were hardly able to get in months.\nBut command of the sea, and the almost complete inactivity of our\nfleet, gave them another advantage, not less important, and that\nwas the possibility of bringing safely to their ports and arsenals\nquantities of commissary and military stores, weapons, horses, and\ncattle, which had been ordered in Europe and America. Their line of\ncommunications, furthermore, was short and secure, while we were at\na distance of eight thousand versts from our base of supplies and\nwere connected with our country only by one weak line of railway. The\nadvantage that they had over us in this respect was immense. The slow\nconcentration of our army, which had to be brought eight thousand\nversts over a single-track railroad, gave them time, after the war\nbegan, to form new bodies of troops, in considerable numbers, and send\nthem to the front. They had time enough, also, to supply their army\nwith innumerable machine guns, after they had observed, in the early\nstages of the war, the importance of machine-gun fire.\n\nThe field of military operations in Manchuria had been familiar to the\nJapanese ever since their war with China. Its heat, its heavy rains,\nits mountains and its kiaoliang, were well known to them, because they\nhad seen them all in their own country. In the mountains, especially,\nthey felt perfectly at home, while a mountainous environment, to our\ntroops, was oppressive. The Japanese, moreover, in their ten years of\npreparation for war with us, had not only studied Manchuria, but had\nsecured there their own agents, who were of the greatest use to their\narmy. The Chinese, I may add, assisted the Japanese, notwithstanding\nthe severity and even cruelty with which the latter treated them.\n\nThe Japanese had a considerable advantage over us, also, in their\nhigh-powered ammunition, their machine guns, their innumerable mountain\nguns, their abundant supply of explosives, and their means of attack\nand defence in the shape of wire, mines, and hand grenades. Their\norganization, equipment, and transport carts were all better adapted\nto the field of operations than ours were, and their bodies of sappers\nwere more numerous than ours.\n\nThe Japanese soldiers had been so trained as to develop self-reliance\nand ability to take the lead, and they were credited by foreign\nmilitary observers with \"intelligence, initiative, and quickness,\" In\nthe fighting instructions that were given them, very material changes\nwere made after the war began. At the outset, for example, night\nattacks were not recommended; but they soon satisfied themselves that\nnight attacks were profitable and they afterward made great use of\nthem. Major von Luwitz, of the German army, in a brochure entitled \"The\nJapanese Attack in the War in Eastern Asia in 1904-05\" says that while\nthe Japanese did not neglect any means of making attacks effective, the\nsecret of their success lay in their determination to get close to the\nenemy, regardless of consequences.\n\n\n_The Intellectual Superiority of the Japanese Soldier_\n\nThe non-commissioned officers in the Japanese army were much superior\nto ours, on account of the better education and greater intellectual\ndevelopment of the Japanese common people. Many of them might have\ndischarged the duties of commissioned officers with perfect success.\nThe defects of our soldiers--both regulars and reservists--were the\ndefects of the population as a whole. The peasants were imperfectly\ndeveloped intellectually, and they made soldiers who had the same\nfailing. The intellectual backwardness of our soldiers was a great\ndisadvantage to us, because war now requires far more intelligence and\ninitiative, on the part of the individual soldier, than ever before.\nOur men fought heroically in compact masses, or in fairly close\nformation, but if deprived of their officers they were more likely to\nfall back than to advance. In the mass we had immense strength; but few\nof our soldiers were capable of fighting intelligently as individuals.\nIn this respect the Japanese were much superior to us. Their\nnon-commissioned officers were far better developed, intellectually,\nthan ours, and among such officers, as well as among many of the\ncommon soldiers, whom we took as prisoners, we found diaries which\nshowed not only good education but knowledge of what was happening and\nintelligent comprehension of the military problems to be solved. Many\nof them could draw maps skilfully, and one common soldier was able to\nshow accurately, by means of a plan sketched in the sand, the relative\npositions of the Japanese forces and ours.\n\nBut the qualities that contributed most to the triumph of the Japanese\nwere their high moral spirit, and the stubborn determination with which\nthe struggle for success was carried on by every man in their army,\nfrom the common soldier to the commander-in-chief. In many cases, their\nsituation was so distressing that it required extraordinary power\nof will on their part to stand fast or to advance. But the officers\nseemed to have resolution enough to call on their men for impossible\nefforts--not even hesitating to shoot those that fell back--and the\nsoldiers, rallying their last physical and spiritual strength, often\nwrested the victory away from us. One thing is certain: if the whole\nJapanese army had not been inspired with an ardent patriotism; if it\nhad not been sympathetically supported by the whole nation; and if all\nits officers and soldiers had not appreciated the immense importance\nof the struggle, even such resolution as that of the Japanese leaders\nwould have failed to achieve such results.\n\n     [A] General Kuropatkin makes frequent use of the expression\n     \"moral strength,\" or \"moral character,\" and often employs the\n     English word \"moral\" instead of the corresponding Russian word.\n     He evidently intends that the adjective shall be understood in\n     its broadest signification, as a term covering patriotism, the\n     sense of duty, capacity for self-sacrifice, and all the qualities\n     that go to make up character as distinct from mere intellectual\n     ability.--G. K.\n\n     [B] Considerations of space have forced me to omit the greater\n     part of General Kuropatkin's detailed and somewhat technical\n     statement with regard to Japan's military strength and the extent\n     to which it was underestimated by the Russian General Staff.--G. K.\n\n     [C] According to information contained in Immanuel's work, \"The\n     Russo-Japanese War,\" the Japanese lost 218,000 men in battle.\n\n     [D] General Kuropatkin uses the English words \"materially\" and\n     \"morally.\"--G. K.\n\n     [E] _Fortnightly Review._\n\n     [F] On account of student disorders that had led to the closing of\n     the universities.--G. K.\n\n     [G] Medical students excepted.\n\n     [H] General Kuropatkin, it will be noticed, calls this night\n     attack \"desperate,\" but does not characterize it as treacherous\n     or unfair. At the time when it occurred, however, the Russian\n     Government denounced it as a dishonorable violation of civilized\n     usage, if not of international law, while the loyal Russian\n     press held Japan up to the scorn of the world as a tricky and\n     treacherous antagonist. It is an interesting but little known fact\n     that the Tsar himself had ordered Admiral Alexeieff to attack\n     the Japanese in the same way, without notice and before any\n     declaration of war had been made. In the historically important\n     series of official dispatches from the archives of Port Arthur,\n     published in the liberal Russian review \"Osvobozhdenie\" at\n     Stuttgart in 1905 appears the following telegram sent by the Tsar\n     to the Viceroy just after the Japanese had broken off diplomatic\n     relations.\n\n                                 ST. PETERSBURG, JANUARY 26, 1904, O. S.\n\n     ALEXEIEFF\n\n          PORT ARTHUR.\n\n     It is desirable that the Japanese, and not we, should begin\n     military operations. If, therefore, they do not attack us, you\n     must not oppose their landing in southern Korea, or on the eastern\n     coast as far north as Gensan, inclusive. But if their fleet makes\n     a descent upon the western coast, or, without making a descent,\n     goes north of the 38th parallel, you are authorized to attack\n     them, without waiting for the first shot from their side. I rely\n     on you. May God assist you.\n\n                                (Signed)\n\n                                     NICHOLAS\n\n                                    (Signature in the Tsar's own hand)\n\n     It thus appears that Russia intended to attack Japan without\n     notice and without a declaration of war, but Alexeieff was not\n     quick enough--G. K.\n\n\n\n\n  [Illustration]\n\nTHE DEATH OF HENRY IRVING\n\nBY ELLEN TERRY\n\nILLUSTRATED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS\n\n_Copyright, 1908, by Ellen Terry (Mrs. Carew)_\n\n\nI have now nearly finished the history of my fifty years upon the stage.\n\nA good deal has been left out through want of skill in selection. Some\nthings have been included which perhaps it would have been wiser to\nomit. I have tried my best to tell \"all things faithfully,\" and it is\npossible that I have given offence where offence was not dreamed of;\nthat some people will think that I should not have said this, while\nothers, approving of \"this,\" will be quite certain that I ought not to\nhave said \"that.\"\n\n\"One said it thundered ... another that an angel spake----\"\n\nIt's the point of view.\n\nDuring my struggles with my refractory, fragmentary, and unsatisfactory\nmemories, I have realised that life itself is a point of view. So if\nany one said to me: \"And is this, then, what you call your life?\" I\nshould not resent the question one little bit.\n\n\"We have heard,\" continues my imaginary and disappointed interlocutor,\n\"a great deal about your life in the theatre. You have told us of plays\nand parts and rehearsals, of actors good and bad, of critics and of\nplaywrights, of success and failure, but after all your whole life has\nnot been lived in the theatre. Have you nothing to tell us about your\ndifferent homes, your family life, your social diversions, your friends\nand acquaintances? During your long life there have been great changes\nin manners and customs; political parties have altered; a great Queen\nhas died; your country has been engaged in two or three serious wars.\nDid all these things make no impression on you? Can you tell us nothing\nof your life in the world?\"\n\nAnd I have to answer that I have lived very little in the world. After\nall, the life of an actress belongs to the theatre, as the life of a\npolitician to the State.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nThe recognition of my fifty years of stage life by the public and by\nmy profession was quite unexpected. Henry Irving said to me not long\nbefore his death in 1905 that he believed that they (the theatrical\nprofession) \"intended to celebrate our Jubilee.\" (If he had lived, he\nwould have completed his fifty years on the stage in the autumn of\n1906.) He said that there would be a monster performance at Drury Lane,\nand that already the profession were discussing what form it was to\ntake.\n\nAfter his death, I thought no more of the matter. Indeed, I did not\nwant to think about it, for any recognition of my Jubilee which did not\ninclude his seemed to me very unnecessary.\n\n  [Illustration: SIR HENRY IRVING\n\n  FROM A PHOTOGRAPH IN THE POSSESSION OF MISS EVELYN SMALLEY]\n\n  [Illustration: _From the collection of Miss Evelyn Smalley_\n\n  \"OLIVIA\"\n\n  DRAWN BY SIR EDWIN HENRY FOR MISS HENRY'S JUBILEE PROGRAMME]\n\nOf course, I was pleased that others thought it necessary. I enjoyed\nall the celebrations. Even the speeches that I had to make did not\nspoil my enjoyment. The difficulty was to thank people as they deserved.\n\nI can never forget that London's youngest newspaper first conceived the\nidea of celebrating my stage Jubilee. Of course, the old-established\njournals didn't like it, but I suppose no scheme of this kind is ever\norganized without some people not liking something!\n\nThe matinee given in my honour at Drury Lane by the theatrical\nprofession was a wonderful sight. The two things about it which touched\nme most deeply were my visit the night before to the crowd who were\nwaiting to get into the gallery, and the presence of Eleonora Duse,\nwho came all the way from Florence just to honour me. I appreciated\nvery much, too, the kindness of Signor Caruso in singing for me. I did\nnot know him at all, and the gift of his service was essentially the\nimpersonal desire of an artist to honour another artist.\n\nWhen the details of my Jubilee performance at Drury Lane were being\narranged, the committee decided to ask certain distinguished artists\nto contribute to the programme. They were all delighted about it, and\nsuch busy men as Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema, Mr. Abbey, Mr. Byam Shaw,\nMr. Walter Crane, Mr. Bernard Partridge, Mr. James Pryde, Mr. Orpen,\nand Mr. William Nicholson all gave some of their work to me. Mr.\nSargent was asked if he would allow the first Lady Macbeth sketch to\nbe reproduced. He found that it would not reproduce well, so in the\nheight of the season and of his work with fashionable sitters, he did\nan entirely new sketch, in black and white, of the same subject! This\nact of kind friendship I could never forget, even if the picture were\nnot in front of me at this minute to remind me of it! \"You must think\nof me as one of the people bowing down to you in the picture,\" he wrote\nto me when he sent the new version for the programme. Nothing during my\nJubilee celebrations touched me more than this wonderful kindness of\nMr. Sargent's.\n\nBurne-Jones would have done something for my Jubilee programme too,\nI think, had he lived. He was one of my kindest friends, and his\nletters--he was a heaven-born letter-writer--were like no one else's,\nfull of charm and humour and feeling. Once, when I sent him a trifle\nfor some charity, he wrote me this particularly charming letter:\n\n\"Dear Lady,\n\n\"This morning came the delightful crinkly paper that always means\nyou! If anybody else ever used it, I think I should assault them! I\ncertainly wouldn't read their letter or answer it.\n\n\"And I know the cheque will be very useful. If I thought much about\nthose wretched homes, or saw them often, I should do no more work, I\nknow. There is but one thing to do--to help with a little money if you\ncan manage it, and then try hard to forget. Yes, I am certain that I\nshould never paint again if I saw much of those hopeless lives that\nhave no remedy....\n\n\"You would always have been lovely and made some beauty about you if\nyou had been born there--but I should have got drunk and beaten my\nfamily and been altogether horrible! When everything goes just as I\nlike, and painting prospers a bit, and the air is warm, and friends\nwell, and everything perfectly comfortable, I can just manage to behave\ndecently, and a spoilt fool I am--that's the truth. But wherever you\nwere, some garden would grow.\n\n\"Yes, I know Winchelsea and Rye and Lynn and Hythe--all bonny places,\nand Hythe has a church it may be proud of. Under the sea is another\nWinchelsea, a poor drowned city--about a mile out at sea, I think,\nalways marked in old maps as 'Winchelsea Dround.' If ever the sea goes\nback on that changing coast, there may be great fun when the spires and\ntowers come up again. It's a pretty land to drive in.\n\n\"I am growing downright stupid--I can't work at all, nor think of\nanything. Will my wits ever come back to me?\n\n  [Illustration: _From the collection of Miss Evelyn Smalley_\n\n  _Copyright by Window & Grove_\n\n  ELLEN TERRY AS HERMIONE IN \"THE WINTER'S TALE\"\n\n  THE PART PLAYED BY MISS TERRY AT HIS MAJESTY'S THEATRE IN 1906]\n\n\"And when are you coming back--when will the Lyceum be in its rightful\nhands again? I refuse to go there till you come back....\"\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nOne of those little things almost too good to be true happened at\nthe close of the Drury Lane matinee. A four-wheeler was hailed for\nme by the stage-door keeper, and my daughter and I drove off to Lady\nBancroft's in Berkeley Square to leave some flowers. Outside the\nhouse, the cabman told my daughter that in old days he had often\ndriven Charles Kean from the Princess Theatre, and that sometimes the\nlittle Miss Terrys were put inside the cab too and given a lift! My\ndaughter thought it such an extraordinary coincidence that the old\nman should have come to the stage door of Drury Lane by a mere chance\non my Jubilee day, that she took his address, and I was to send him a\nphotograph and remuneration. But I promptly lost the address, and was\nnever able to trace the old man.\n\n  [Illustration: 150 GRAFTON STREET\n\n  THE HOUSE WHERE HENRY IRVING LIVED DURING THE PERIOD OF HIS LYCEUM\n  MANAGEMENT]\n\nI was often asked during these Jubilee days, \"how I felt about it all,\"\nand I never could answer sensibly. The strange thing is that I don't\nknow even now what was in my heart. Perhaps it was one of my chief joys\nthat I had not to say good-bye at any of the celebrations. I could\nstill speak to my profession as a fellow-comrade on the active list and\nto the public as one still in their service.\n\nAll the time I knew perfectly well that the great show of honour and\n\"friending\" was not for me alone. Never for one instant did I forget\nthis, nor that the light of the great man by whose side I had worked\nfor a quarter of a century was still shining on me from his grave.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nIt is commonly known, I think, that Henry Irving's health first began\nto fail in 1896.\n\nHe went home to Grafton Street after the first night of the revival\nof \"Richard III.\" and slipped on the stairs, injuring his knee. With\ncharacteristic fortitude, he struggled to his feet unassisted and\nwalked to his room. This made the consequences of the accident far more\nserious, and he was not able to act for weeks.\n\nIt was a bad year at the Lyceum.\n\nIn 1898, when we were on tour, he caught a chill. Inflammation of the\nlungs, bronchitis, pneumonia followed. His heart was affected. He was\nnever really well again.\n\nWhen I think of his work during the next seven years, I could weep!\nNever was there a more admirable, extraordinary worker; never was any\none more splendid-couraged and patient.\n\nThe seriousness of his illness in 1898 was never really known. He\nnearly died.\n\n\"I am still fearfully anxious about H,\" I wrote to my daughter at the\ntime. \"It will be a long time at the best before he gains strength....\nBut now I do hope for the best. I'm fairly well so far. All he wants is\nfor me to keep my health, not my head. He knows I'm doing that! Last\nnight I did three acts of Sans-Gene and Nance Oldfield thrown in! That\nis a bit too much--awful work--and I can't risk it again.\n\n\"A telegram just came: 'Steadily improving.' ... You should have seen\nNorman[I] as Shylock! It was not a bare 'get-through.' It was--the\nfirst night--an admirable performance, as well as a plucky one.... H.\nis more seriously ill than anyone dreams.... His look! Like the last\nact of Louis XI.\"\n\n  [Illustration: HENRY IRVING AS BECKET\n\n  THE PART IN WHICH IRVING MADE HIS LAST APPEARANCE ON OCTOBER 13, 1905,\n  THE NIGHT OF HIS DEATH]\n\nIn 1902, on the last provincial tour that we ever went together, he\nwas ill again, but he did not give in. One night when his cough was\nrending him, and he could hardly stand up for weakness, he acted so\nbrilliantly and strongly that it was easy to believe in Christian\nScience \"treatment.\" Strange to say, a newspaper man noticed the\nsplendid power of his performance that night and wrote of it with\nuncommon discernment--a _provincial_ critic, by the way.\n\nIn London, at the time, they were always urging Henry Irving to produce\nnew plays by new playwrights! But in the face of the failure of most of\nthe new work, and of his departing strength--and of the extraordinary\nsupport given him in the old plays (during this 1902 tour we took\nL4,000 at Glasgow in one week!)--Henry took the wiser course in doing\nnothing but the old plays to the end of the chapter.\n\nI realised how near, not only the end of the chapter, but the end of\nthe book was when he was taken ill at Wolverhampton in the spring of\n1905.\n\nWe had not acted together for more than two years then, and times were\nchanged indeed.\n\nI went down to Wolverhampton when the news of his illness reached\nLondon. I arrived late and went to an hotel. It was not a good hotel,\nnor could I find a very good florist when I got up early the next\nday and went out with the intention of buying Henry some flowers. I\nwanted some bright- ones for him--he had always liked bright\nflowers--and this florist dealt chiefly in white flowers--_funeral_\nflowers.\n\nAt last I found some daffodils--my favourite flower. I bought a bunch,\nand the kind florist, whose heart was in the right place if his flowers\nwere not, found me a nice simple glass to put it in. I knew the sort of\nvase that I should find at Henry's hotel.\n\nI remembered, on my way to the doctor's--for I had decided to see the\ndoctor first--that in 1892, when my dear mother died, and I did not\nact for a few nights, when I came back, I found my room at the Lyceum\nfilled with daffodils. \"To make it look like sunshine,\" Henry said.\n\nThe doctor talked to me quite frankly.\n\n\"His heart is dangerously weak,\" he said.\n\n\"Have you told him?\" I asked.\n\n\"I had to, because, the heart being in that condition, he must be\ncareful.\"\n\n\"Did he understand _really_?\"\n\n\"Oh, yes. He said he quite understood.\"\n\n(Yet, a few minutes later when I saw Henry, and begged him to remember\nwhat the doctor had said about his heart, he exclaimed: \"Fiddle! It's\nnot my heart at all! It's my _breath_!\" Oh, the ignorance of great men!)\n\n\"I also told him,\" the Wolverhampton doctor went on, \"that he must not\nwork so hard in future.\"\n\nI said; \"He will, though,--and he's stronger than any one.\"\n\nThen I went round to the hotel.\n\nI found him sitting up in bed, drinking his coffee.\n\nHe looked like some beautiful gray tree that I have seen in Savannah.\nHis old dressing-gown hung about his frail yet majestic figure like\nsome mysterious gray drapery.\n\nWe were both very much moved and said little.\n\n\"I'm glad you've come. Two Queens have been kind to me this morning.\nQueen Alexandra telegraphed to say how sorry she was I was ill, and now\nyou----\"\n\nHe showed me the Queen's gracious message.\n\nI told him he looked thin and ill, but _rested_.\n\n\"Rested! I should think so. I have plenty of time to rest. They tell\nme I shall be here eight weeks. Of course I shan't, but still--It\nwas that rug in front of the door. I tripped over it. A commercial\ntraveller picked me up--a kind fellow, but damn him, he wouldn't leave\nme afterwards--wanted to talk to me all night.\"\n\nI remembered his having said this, when I was told by his servant,\nWalter Collinson, that on the night of his death at Bradford he\nstumbled over the rug when he walked into the hotel corridor.\n\nWe fell to talking about work. He said he hoped that I had a good\nmanager ... agreed very heartily with me about Frohman, saying he was\nalways so fair--more than fair.\n\n\"What a wonderful life you've had, haven't you?\" I exclaimed, thinking\nof it all in a flash.\n\n\"Oh, yes,\" he said quietly, ... \"a wonderful life--of work.\"\n\n  [Illustration: _Copyright by the London Stereoscopic Co._\n\n  HENRY IRVING AS MATTHIAS IN \"THE BELLS\"\n\n  IRVING GAVE HIS LAST PERFORMANCE OF \"THE BELLS\" AT BRADFORD, ON\n  OCTOBER 12, 1905, THE NIGHT BEFORE HIS DEATH ]\n\n  [Illustration: _Copyright by the Topical Press Agency_\n\n  IRVING'S DEATH MASK]\n\n\"And there's nothing better, after all, is there?\"\n\n\"Nothing.\"\n\n\"What have you got out of it all?... You and I are 'getting on,' as\nthey say. Do you ever think, as I do sometimes, what you have got out\nof life?\"\n\n\"What have I got out of it?\" said Henry, stroking his chin and\nsmiling slightly. \"Let me see.... Well, a good cigar, a good glass of\nwine--good friends--\" Here he kissed my hand with courtesy. Always he\nwas so courteous--always his actions, like this little one of kissing\nmy hand, were so beautifully timed. They came just before the spoken\nwords, and gave them peculiar value.\n\n\"That's not a bad summing up of it all,\" I said. \"And the end.... How\nwould you like that to come?\"\n\n\"How would I like that to come?\" He repeated my question, lightly, yet\nmeditatively too. Then he was silent for some thirty seconds before he\nsnapped his fingers--the action again before the words.\n\n\"Like that!\"\n\nI thought of the definition of inspiration--\"A calculation quickly\nmade.\" Perhaps he had never thought of the manner of his death before.\nNow he had an inspiration as to how it would come.\n\nWe were silent a long time, I thinking how like some splendid Doge of\nVenice he looked, sitting up in bed, his beautiful mobile hand stroking\nhis chin.\n\nI agreed, when I could speak, that to be snuffed out like a candle\nwould save a lot of trouble.\n\nAfter Henry Irving's death in October of the same year, some of his\nfriends protested against the statement that it was the kind of death\nhe desired--that they knew, on the contrary, that he thought sudden\ndeath inexpressibly sad.\n\nI can only say what he told me.\n\nI stayed with him about three hours at Wolverhampton. Before I left,\nI went back to see the doctor again--a very nice man, by the way, and\nclever. He told me that Henry ought never to play \"The Bells\" again,\neven if he acted again, which he said ought not to be.\n\nIt was clever of the doctor to see what a terrible emotional strain\n\"The Bells\" put upon Henry--how he never could play the part of\nMatthias \"on his head,\" as he could Louis XI., for example.\n\nEvery time he heard the sound of the bells, the throbbing of his heart\nmust have nearly killed him. He used always to turn quite white--there\nwas no trick about it. It was imagination acting physically on the body.\n\n  [Illustration: _From the collection of Miss Evelyn Smalley_\n\n  IRVING'S TOMB IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY]\n\nHis death as Matthias--the death of a strong, robust man--was different\nfrom all his other stage deaths. He did really almost die--he imagined\ndeath with such horrible intensity. His eyes would disappear upwards,\nhis face grow gray, his limbs cold.\n\nNo wonder, then, that the first time that the Wolverhampton doctor's\nwarning was disregarded, and Henry played \"The Bells\" at Bradford, his\nheart could not stand the strain. Within twenty-four hours of his last\ndeath as Matthias, he was dead.\n\nWhat a heroic thing was that last performance of Becket which came\nbetween! I am told by those who were in the company at the time that\nhe was obviously suffering and dazed this last night of life. But he\nwent through it all as usual. All that he had done for years, he did\nfaithfully for the last time.\n\nYes, I know it seems sad to the ordinary mind that he should have\ndied in the entrance to an hotel in a country town, with no friend,\nno relation near him; only his faithful and devoted servant, Walter\nCollinson, whom--as was not his usual custom--he had asked to drive\nback to the hotel with him that night, was there. Do I not feel the\ntragedy of the beautiful body, for so many years the house of a\nthousand souls, being laid out in death by hands faithful and devoted\nenough, but not the hands of his kindred either in blood or in\nsympathy?...\n\nI do feel it, yet I know it was more appropriate to such a man than\nthe deathbed where friends and relations weep. Henry Irving belonged\nto England, not to a family. England showed that she knew it when she\nburied him in Westminster Abbey.\n\nYears before I had discussed, half in joke, the possibility of this\nhonour. I remember his saying to me with great simplicity, when I asked\nhim what he expected of the public after his death: \"I should like them\nto do their duty by me. And they will--they will!\"\n\nThere was not a touch of arrogance in this, just as I hope there was\nno touch of heartlessness in me because my chief thought during the\nfuneral in Westminster Abbey was: \"How Henry would have liked it!\"\nThe right note was struck, as I think was not the case at Tennyson's\nfuneral thirteen years earlier.\n\n\"Tennyson is buried to-day in Westminster Abbey,\" I wrote in my diary\nOctober 12th, 1892. \"His majestic life and death spoke of him better\nthan the service.... The music was poor and dull and weak while he was\n_strong_. The triumphant should have been the sentiment expressed.\nFaces one knew everywhere. Lord Salisbury looked fine. His massive head\nand sad eyes were remarkable. No face there, however, looked anything\nby the side of Henry's.... He looked very pale and slim and wonderful!\"\n\nHow terribly I missed that face at Henry's own funeral! I kept on\nexpecting to see it, for indeed it seemed to me that he was directing\nthe whole most moving and impressive ceremony.... I could almost hear\nhim saying \"Get on! get on!\" in the parts of the service that dragged.\nWhen the sun, such a splendid tawny sun, burst across the solemn misty\ngray of the Abbey, at the very moment when the coffin, under its superb\npall of laurel leaves, was carried up to the choir, I felt that it was\nan effect which he would have loved.\n\nI can understand any one who was present at Henry Irving's funeral\nthinking that this was his best memorial, and that any attempt to\nhonour him afterwards would be superfluous and inadequate. But after\nall it was Henry Irving's commanding genius and his devotion of it\nto high objects, his personal influence on the English people, which\nsecured him burial among England's great dead. The petition for the\nburial, presented to the Dean of the Chapter, and signed on the\ninitiative of Henry Irving's leading fellow-actors by representative\npersonages of influence, succeeded only because of Henry's unique\nposition.\n\n\"We worked very hard to get it done,\" I heard said more than once. And\nI often longed to answer: \"Yes, you worked for it between Henry's death\nand his funeral. He worked for it all his life!\"\n\nI have always desired some other memorial to Henry Irving than his\nhonoured grave; not so much for his sake as for the sake of those who\nloved him, and would gladly welcome the opportunity of some great test\nof their devotion.\n\nTHE END\n\n     [I] Mr. Norman Forbes-Robertson.\n\n\n\n\nTHE VALLEY OF MILLS\n\nBY H. G. DWIGHT\n\nWITH A PAINTING BY F. BRANGWYN\n\n_The American Dragoman narrates to the Second Secretary_\n\n\nI shall never forget the night I got there. The train went no farther\nthan Nicomedia in those days, and it took so long that you nearly died\nof old age on the way. But when the three red lights on the tail of\nit dwindled into the dark, I had the queerest sense of having been\ndropped into another world. It was the more so because one couldn't\nsee an earthly thing--not a star, not even the Gulf which we were to\ncross. I only heard the lapping of it, close by, when the rumble of the\ntrain died out of the stillness. That and the crunch of steps on the\nsand were all there was to hear, and an occasional word I didn't catch.\nThe men could hardly have been more silent if our lives had depended\non it. I had no idea how many of them there were, or what they looked\nlike--much less where they were taking me. They simply hoisted a sail\nand put off into the night. I would have sworn, too, that there was\nno wind. The sail filled, however: I could see the swaying pallor of\nit, and hear the ripple under the bow. And as my eyes got used to the\ndarkness, I discovered an irregular silhouette in front of us, and a\nfloating will-o'-the-wisp of a light. The silhouette grew taller and\nblacker till the boat grounded under it. Then, by the light of the\nwill-o'-the-wisp, which was a sputtering oil lantern on shore, I made\nout some immense cypresses. You have no idea how eerie that landing\nwas, in a waterside cemetery that was for all the world like Boecklin's\nIsland of Death. The men moved like shadows about their Flying\nDutchman of a boat, and their lantern just brought out the ghostliness\nof gravestones leaning between the columns of the cypresses. And I\nsuddenly became aware of the strangest sound. I had no idea what it was\nor where it came from, but it was a sort of low moaning that fairly\nwent into your bones. It grew louder when we started on again. We\nclimbed an invisible trail where branches slashed at us in the dark,\nand all kinds of sharp and sweet and queer smells came put of it in\nwaves. And nightingales began to sing like mad around us, and off in\nthe distance somewhere jackals were barking, and under it all that low\nmoaning went on and on and on. And at last we came out into an open\nspace on top of the hill, where a bonfire made a hole in the black, and\na couple of naked figures stood redly out in the penumbra of it, with a\nring of faces flickering around them....\n\nI found out afterwards that the bonfire business was nothing but a\nwrestling match--they had them almost every night on the _meidan_--and\nthe moaning came from the mill-wheels in the valley. But I never quite\ngot over that first impression--that sense of walking through all kinds\nof things without seeing them. No sooner would I begin to feel a bit at\nhome than something would bring me up with a jerk and remind me that\nI was a stranger in a strange land. I suppose it was natural enough,\nconsidering that I had only just come out then. The place was nothing\nbut a snarl of muddy lanes and mud shanties, tossed into a filbert\nvalley where water tumbled down to the Gulf. It was only about fifty\nmiles away from here, but it might have been five thousand and fifty.\nThere was none of the contrast with Europe that is always bothering you\nhere--though perhaps it really sets things off. The people were all\nTurks, and their village was Asia pure and simple. That extraordinary\njuxtaposition of care and neglect, of the exquisite and the nauseating,\nwhich begins to strike you in Italy, and which strikes you so much more\nhere, simply went to the top notch there. It was under your eyes--and\nnose--every minute. There were rugs and tiles and brasses that you\ncouldn't keep your hands off of, in houses plastered with cow-dung. And\nthe people used the gutters for drains, and their principal business\nwas making attar of rose. You should have seen what gardens there\nwere, hidden away behind mud-walls!\n\nWhat struck me most, though, was a something in it all which I never\ncould lay my finger on. It seemed incredible that a country inhabited\nso long should show so few signs of it. The people might have camped\nin a clearing over night, and the woods were just waiting to cover up\ntheir tracks. But the wildness was not the good blank, unconscious\nwildness we have at home. There was a melancholy about it. The silence\nthat hung over the place was really a little uncanny. The mills only\ncried it out, in that monotonous minor of theirs. They were picturesque\nold wooden things, all green with moss and maidenhair fern, that went\ngrinding and groaning on forever, and making you wonder what on earth\nit was all about. I can't say that I ever found out, either. But I\ncertainly got grist enough for my own mill.\n\nFor that matter, I don't imagine that I was precisely an open book\nmyself. In this part of the world they haven't got our passion for\npoking around where we don't belong: perhaps they've had more time to\nfind out how little there is in it. And for a mysterious individual\nfrom lands beyond the sea, whose servant can't be prevented from\nbragging of the splendor in which he lives at Constantinople, to bury\nhimself in a wild country village, must mean something queer. Does one\ngive up a _konak_ on the Bosphorus for a _khan_ in the Marmora? And\nare there no teachers of Turkish in Stamboul? I believe it didn't take\nlong for the _Moutessarif_ of Nicomedia to find out I was there, and\nfor him to ascertain in ways best known to himself what I was up to. I\nhave often wondered what his version of it was. At all events it didn't\nprevent the great men of the village from smoking cigarettes of peace\nwith me in a little vine-shaded coffee-house at the top of the hill.\nThere was the _Mudir_, a plump and harmless _effendi_ of a governor;\nand the _Naib_, who was some kind of country justice; and a charming\nold _Imam_ in a green turban and a white beard and a rose-\nrobe; and a _Tchaouche_, an officer of police, all done up in yellow\nbraid and brass whistles; and various other personages. And I couldn't\nimagine where in the world they had all picked up their courtliness and\nconversation. The _Mudir_ was from town, and one or two of the others\nhad been there; but if such things were to be had for a visit to town\nthey'd be a little more common at home. Of course, I was asked a good\nmany questions, and some of them were pretty personal. That is a part\nof Oriental etiquette, you will find. It was marvelous, though, what a\n_savoir faire_ they had, to say nothing of a sense of life and a few\nother things. I couldn't make them out--taken with their vile village\nand their half-tamed fields. The thing used to bother me half to death,\ntoo. I thought all I had to do was to sit down and look pleasant and\nturn them inside out at my leisure. Whereas more than once I had a\nvague feeling, after it was over, of having been turned inside out\nmyself. Altogether it makes me grin when I remember what an idiotic\nyoung ostrich I was. I have been at the business quite a while now, and\nto this day I am never sure of my man--how that Asiatic head of his\nwill work in any given case. I can only console myself by remembering\nthat I'm not the only one. In the last two generations I presume there\nmust have been as many as four Anglo-Saxons--and three of those,\nEnglishmen--who didn't more or less make jackasses of themselves when\nthey ran up against Asia. And I fancy it took them rather more than a\nyear to arrive at even that negative degree of comprehension.\n\nHowever, various things went into my hopper first and last, to the tune\nof the mill-wheels in the valley--particularly last.... It was lucky\nfor me that the wireless telegraphy I sometimes felt about me allowed\nthe _Mudir_ to cultivate his natural inclinations. He was bored enough\nin his exile, and I think he was genuinely glad that his advices from\nheadquarters made him free of my company. I certainly am. I have never\ncome into just such relations with any of the officials here. He was a\ngrave, mild, suave personage who might have made an excellent _Cadi_\nof tradition if he had never heard of Paris. As it was, I'm afraid he\ntook less thought for his peasants' troubles than of the extent to\nwhich they could be made to repay him for his own. He liked to practise\nhis French on me as much as I liked to practise my Turkish on him,\nand on such occasions as I had the honor of squatting at his little\nround board, his knowledge of the Occident would manifest itself in an\nincredible profusion of spoons. I also discovered that he was by no\nmeans averse to sampling my modest cellar. He didn't care so much about\nbeing found out, though. They are tremendous prohibitionists, you know,\nand while the pashas have accepted champagne with their tight trousers,\nthey're not so public about it. Just watch when you go to your first\ncourt dinner.\n\nA person of whom I thought more than the _Mudir_, and who interested\nme more as a type, was the _Imam_. A more kindly, honest, simple,\ndelightful old man it has seldom been my luck to meet. He was a Turk\nof the old school, without an atom of Europe in his composition. I\nwish they were not getting so confoundedly rare. They are worth a\nmillion times more than these Johnnies who pick up the Roman alphabet\nand a few half-baked ideas about what we are pleased to call progress.\nI took daily lessons from him. He was a mighty theologian--made me\nread the Koran, and all that, and was much interested in what I had to\ntell him of our own beliefs. He used to make me ashamed of knowing so\nlittle about them. Before he got through with me, he taught me rather\nmore than was in the bond, I fancy. I had always cherished a notion\nthat because a Turk could have four wives, and didn't think much of\nmy chances for the world to come, and was somewhat free in the use of\nantidotes to human life, his morality wasn't worth talking about. But I\ngot something of an eye-opener on that point.\n\nAltogether, I managed to have a very decent time of it. My pill of\nlearning the most of the language in the least possible time was so\ningeniously sugared that the business was one prolonged picnic. In\nfact, living in a _khan_, as I did at first, is nothing but camping.\nThey're all about the same, you know. You can see the model any day\nover in Stamboul--a rambling stack of galleries round a court of\ncattle and wheels, and big bare rooms where twenty people could live.\nThey often do, too. You spread your own bedding on the wooden divan\nsurrounding two or three sides of the room, and your servant cooks for\nyou in a series of little charcoal pits under the huge chimney. It's\nrather amusing for a while, if you're not too fussy about smells and\ncrawling things. I suppose I must have been, for the _Mudir_ eventually\npersuaded me to rent a house from an absentee rose-growing pasha. It\nwas about the only wooden one in the place--a huge rattlety-bang old\naffair that stood on the edge of the bluff, a little apart from the\ntown. It leaked so villainously that I had to sit under an umbrella\nevery time there was a shower, but the view and the garden made up for\nit. I used to prowl around the country a good deal, though. Everything\nwas so strange to me--the faces, the costumes, the curious implements,\nthe hairy black buffaloes, the fat-tailed sheep with their dabs of\nred dye, the solid-wheeled carts that lamented more loudly, if less\ncontinuously, than the water-wheels, the piratish-looking caravels\nstrutting up and down the Gulf under a balloon of a mainsail. I took\nthem by the day, sometimes, to go fishing or exploring. All of which\nmust have been highly incomprehensible to my astonished neighbors. I\nbelieve my man had to invent some legend of a doctor and a cure to\naccount for so eccentric a master. It was only when I came more and\nmore to spend my days among the cypresses on the edge of the beach\nthat I became less an object of suspicion; for while a Turk is little\nof a sportsman and less of mere aimless sight-seer, he likes nothing\nbetter than sitting philosophically under the greenwood tree.\n\nMy greenwood was, as I have said, a cemetery. Heaven knows how long it\nhad been there. The cypresses were enormously tall and thick and dark.\nAnd the stones under them--with their carved turbans and arabesques,\nand their holes and rain-hollows for restless or thirsty ghosts--were\nall gray and lichened with time, and pitched every which way between\nthe coiling roots. You may think it a queer kind of place to sit around\nin, but it took my fancy enormously. I don't know--there was something\nso still and old about it, and the spring had such a look between the\nblack trees. It wasn't quite still, either, for that strange, low minor\nof the water-wheels was always in your ears. It ran on and on, like the\nsound of the quiet and the sunshine and the cypresses and the ancient\nstones. And it made all sorts of things go through your head. I presume\nthat first impression had something to do with it. You wondered whether\nthe trees would have lived so long if so many dead people had not lain\namong their roots. You wondered--I don't know what you didn't wonder.\n\nAs hot weather came on, I used to pack a hammock and reading and\nwriting and cooking things on a donkey nearly every day, and drop down\nthrough the filberts to my cypresses. There was fairly decent bathing\nthere, over an outrageous bottom of stones and sea-urchins. What I\nliked best, though, was simply to lie around and watch the world go\nby. Not that much of it does go by the Gulf of Nicomedia. If it hadn't\nbeen for a sail every now and then, you would have supposed that people\nhad forgotten all about that little blue pocket of a firth leading\nnowhere between its antique hills. Then there were two or three trains\na day, whose black you could just make out, crawling through the green\nof the opposite shore. And there was a steamer a day each way that it\nwas as much as your life was worth to put your foot into. You wouldn't\nthink so, though, to see the people who packed the decks. Sometimes I\nused to go down to the landing for the pleasure of the contrast they\nmade, solemnly huddled up in their picturesque rags, with the noisy\nmodern steamer. It was a miracle where so many of them came from and\nwent to. That's the wildest part of the Marmora, you know, for all\ntheir railroad on the north shore. Some day, I suppose, when German\nexpresses go thundering through to the Persian Gulf, it'll be all\nfactory chimneys and summer hotels, like the rest of the world. But\nnow there's nothing worse than vineyards and tobacco plantations. On\nthe south coast there's hardly that. The hills stand up pretty straight\nout of the water, and they're wooded down to the rocks. You might\nthink it virgin forest if you didn't know the Nicene Creed came out of\nit--to say nothing of invisible villages, and eyes looking out at you\nwithout your knowing. It all gave one such an idea of the extraordinary\nwreckage that has been left on the shores of that old Greek Sea. Only\nyou don't get it as you do here, where races and creeds march past you\non the Bridge while you stand by and admire. There's something more\nsecret and ancient about it--more like Homer and the Bible and the\nArabian Nights.\n\nThe caravans gave the most telling touch. You don't often see camels\nup here any longer, but they're still common enough in the interior.\nI could hardly believe my eyes the first time a procession of them\nappeared on my beach. First came a man on horseback, with a couple\nof Persian saddle-bags to make your mouth water, and then the long\nstring of camels roped together like barges in a tow. What an air\nthey had--the fantastic tawny line of them swinging against the blue\nof the Gulf! And how softly they padded along the shingle, with the\npicturesque ruffians in charge of them throned high among their\nmysterious bales! They passed without so much as a turn of the eye, my\nWise Men of the East, and disappeared behind the point as silently as\nthey came. It gave me the strangest sensation. I had felt something of\nthe same before. I could scarcely help it, looking out between those\ntragic trees at the white strip of beach and the blue strip of sea and\nthe green strip of hills that were so much like other hills and seas\nand beaches and yet so different. But there had never come to me before\nquite such a sense of the strangeness of this world where so many\nthings had been buried from the time of Jason and the Argo--of this\nworld of which I knew nothing and to which I was nothing.\n\nYou may believe that I was delighted when I went back to the village\nthat night and found it full of camels. The air was sizzling with\nbonfires and _kebabs_--you know those bits of lamb they broil on a long\nwooden spit?--and strange faces were at every corner. They filled the\ncoffee-house, too, when I finally got there. By that time it was too\ndark to stare as hard as I would have liked. But perhaps the scene was\nall the more picturesque for the shadowy figures scattered under the\nvine in the dusk, and the bubble of nargilehs filling the intervals of\ntalk. A feature would come saliently out here and there in the red of\na cigarette--a shining eye, a hawk nose, a bronzed cheek-bone. And out\non the _meidan_ were groups around fires, with their little pipes that\nhave all the trouble of the East in them, and their little tomtoms of\nsuch inimitable rhythms.\n\nI found my friends established as usual in the seat of honor--an old\nsofa in the corner of the cafe--and as usual they made place for me\namongst them. When the ceremony of their welcome subsided, the _Mudir_\ntook occasion to whisper to me that the leader of the caravan, an\nexcellent fellow who had stopped there before, was telling stories. I\nthen recognized, in the light of the _cafedij's_ lamp, the man I had\nseen that afternoon on horseback. He sat on a stool in front of the\ndivan of honor, and behind him were crowded all the other stools and\nmats in the place. Although he had not deigned, before, to turn his\nhead toward me, he now testified by the depth of his salaam to the\nhonor he felt in such an addition to his circle. He was a curiously\nhandsome chap, burnt and bearded, with the high-hung jaw of his people,\nthe arched brow, the almost Roman nose. And, shaky as I still was in\nthe language, he didn't leave me long to wonder why he was the center\nof the circle. He was a born _raconteur_--one of those story-tellers\nwho in the East still carry on the tradition of the troubadours. Not\nthat he sang to us, or recited poetry--although the _Imam_ told me with\npride that the man was a dictionary of the Persian poets. But he went\non with a story he had begun before my entrance. It was one of those\nendless old eastern tales that are such a charming mixture of serpent\nwisdom and childish _naivete_. And he told it with a vividness of\ngesture and inflection that you never get from print.\n\nWell, you can imagine! I always had a fancy for that sort of thing,\nbut it's so deuced hard to get at--at least, for people like us. And\nafter that queer turn the first sight of the caravan gave me, down\nby the water, it made me feel as if I were really beginning to lay\nmy hand on things at last. So I was disappointed enough when at the\nend of the story the party began to break up. Upon my signifying as\nmuch to my neighbor, the _Mudir_, however, he said that nothing would\nbe easier than to summon the man to a private session. If I would do\nhim the honor to come to the _konak_--I was tickled enough to take\nup with the idea, provided the meeting should take place at my house\ninstead. I knew there would be bakshish, which I didn't like to put the\n_Mudir_ in for, after all he had done. Moreover, I had a whim to get\nthe camel-driver under my own roof--by way of nailing the East, so to\nspeak!\n\nSo the upshot of the business was that we made a night of it. Oh, I\ndon't mean any of your wild and woolly ones. To be sure, we did wet\nthings down a trifle more than is the custom of the country. There\nhappened to be a decanter on the table, which the camel-driver looked\nat as if he wouldn't mind knowing what it contained; and being a bit\nawkward at first, I knew no better than to trot it out. The _Mudir_, to\nwhom of course I offered it first, wouldn't have any. I suppose he had\nhis reputation to keep up before an inferior. I was rather surprised,\nall the same, for it was plain enough that the camel-driver was by\nno means the kind of man the name implies, and a little Greek wine\nwouldn't hurt a baby. Moreover, I had heard of this _raki_ of theirs,\nwhich is so much fire-water, and I didn't take their temperance very\nseriously. As for the camel-driver, he was rather amusing.\n\n\"You tempt me to my death!\" he laughed, taking the glass I poured\nout for him. \"Do you know that my men would kill me if they saw me\nnow? These country people have not the ideas of the _effendi_ and\nmyself. They follow blindly the Prophet, not realizing how many rooms\nthere are in the house of a wise man. They found out that I had been\naffording opportunity for the forgiveness of God, and they took it\nquite seriously. They threatened to kill me if I did not make a public\nconfession. And I had to do it, to please them. On the next Friday I\nmade a solemn confession of my sins in mosque, and swore never to smell\nanother drop.\"\n\nAt this I didn't know just what to do. I looked at the _Mudir_, and the\n_Mudir_ looked at the camel-driver. The latter, however, waved his hand\nwith a smile of goodfellowship.\n\n\"There is no harm now,\" he said. \"We break caravan to-morrow at\nNicomedia. Moreover, I do not drink saying it is right. I should\nblaspheme God, who has commanded me not to drink. But I acknowledge\nthat I sin. Great be the name of God!\" With which he tipped the glass\ninto his mouth. \"My soul!\" he exclaimed, \"That is better than a\ncucumber in August!\"\n\nThese people are democratic, you know, to a degree of which we haven't\nan idea--for all our declaration of independence. Yet there are certain\ninvisible lines which are sure to trip a foreigner up and which made\nme mighty uncertain what to do with the governor of a _mudirlik_ and\nthe leader of a caravan. But the latter proceeded to look out for that.\nSuch a jolly good fellow you never saw in your life, with his stories,\nand the way he had with him, and the things he had been up to. It\nturned out that he knew western Asia a good deal better than I know\nwestern Europe. Tabriz, Tashkend, Samarkand, Cabul, to say nothing of\nMecca and Cairo and Tripoli--such names dropped from him as Liverpool\nand Marseilles might from me. Where camel goes he had been, and for\nhim Asia Minor was no more than a sort of ironic tongue stuck out at\nEurope by the huge continent behind. It gave me my first inkling of how\nthis empire is tied up. It seems to hang so loosely together, without\nthe rails and wires that put Sitka and St. Augustine in easier reach\nof each other than Constantinople and Bagdad. I began to learn then\nthat wires and rails are not everything--that there are stronger nets\nthan those. Altogether it was a momentous occasion. To sit there in\nthat queer old house, in a wild hill village of the Marmora, and speak\nfamiliarly with that camel-driver who carried the secrets of Asia in\nhis pocket--it brought me nearer than I had ever dreamed to that life\nwhich was always so tantalizing me by my inability to get at it.\n\nWhen the man finally withdrew, and the _Mudir_ after him, I was in no\nmood to go to bed. They had opened to me their ancient world, with all\nits poetry and mystery, and I did not want to lose it again. I could\nsee it stretching dimly beyond the windows where the water-wheels went\nmoaning under the moon. I went out into it. The night was--you have no\nidea what those nights could be. They had such a way of swallowing up\nthe squalidness of things, and bringing out all their melancholy magic.\nThe rose season was at its height, and the air was one perfume from the\nhidden gardens. Then the nightingales were at that heart-breaking music\nof theirs. And the moon! It wasn't one of those glaring round things,\nlike a coachman's button or a butcher's boy with the mumps, by which\nyoung ladies are commonly put into spasms; but it was an old wasted\none, with such a light!\n\nIt was all the more extraordinary because not a creature was\nabout--except a man who lay asleep on the ground, not far from the\ndoor. Apparently they dropped off wherever they happened to be, down\nthere, and I used to envy them for it. I stood still for a while, in\nthe shadow of the house, taking it all in. Don't you know, it happens\nonce in a while that you have a mood, and that your surroundings come\nup to it? It doesn't happen very often, either--at least, to workaday\npeople like us. So I stood there, looking and listening and breathing.\nAnd when I saw the edge of the shadow of the house crumble up at one\nplace, without any visible cause, and creep out into the moonlight,\nI--I only looked at it. Nothing had any visible cause in that strange\nworld of mine, and I watched the slowly lengthening finger of shadow\nwith the passivity of a man who has seen too many wonders to wonder any\nmore. But then I made out a darker darkness winding back toward the\nhouse. And--I don't know--I thought of the man on the ground. I looked\nat him.\n\nIt was my camel-driver, dead as Darius, with the blood running out\nof a hole in his back like water out of a spout. For the moment I\nwas still too far away from every day to be startled, or even very\nmuch surprised. It was only a part of that mysterious world, with its\nmysterious people and mysterious ways that I never could understand.\nWhat was he doing there dead, who had been so full of life a little\nwhile before? Was it one of his jokes? The night was the most\nenchanting you could imagine, the air was heady with the breath of\nrose-gardens, the nightingales were singing in the trees (down in the\nvalley I heard, low, low, the weary water-wheels), and here was the\nprince of story-tellers with his tongue stopped forever, and the blood\nof him making a snaky black trail across the moonlight....\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nWhat happened next? My dear fellow, you remind me of these kids who\nwill never let you finish their story! Nothing happened next. That was\nthe beauty of it. I guess I got one pretty good case of the jim-jams\nafter a while, and when I got through wondering whether I was going\nto be elected next, I began to wonder whether they wouldn't think I'd\ndone it. Of course, I had done it, as a matter of fact, and that didn't\ntend to composure of mind. Neither did my speculations as to what the\n_Mudir_ might or might not have noticed when he left me that evening.\nBut, if you will believe it, nobody ever lifted a finger. The next\nmorning the caravan was gone and apparently everything was the same as\nbefore. If anything, they were more decent than before. That was the\nworst of it. I don't believe I'd have minded so much if they'd stoned\nme and ridden me out on a rail and set the Government after me and\nraised the devil generally. I should at least have felt less at sea. As\nit was--hello, there's Carmignani! Let's take him over to Tokatlian's.\n\n\n\n\nTHE UNREMEMBERED\n\nFRAGMENTS OF A LOST MEMORY\n\nBY FLORENCE WILKINSON\n\n\n  Where have they gone, the unremembered things,\n              The hours, the faces,\n  The trumpet-call, the wild boughs of white spring?\n  Would I might pluck you from forbidden spaces,\n  All ye, the vanished tenants of my places!\n\n  Stay but one moment, speak that I may hear,\n              Swift passer-by!\n  The wind of your strange garments in my ear\n  Catches the heart like a beloved cry\n  From lips, alas, forgotten utterly.\n\n  An odour haunts, a colour in the mesh,\n              A step that mounts the stair;\n  Come to me, I would touch your living flesh--\n  Look how they disappear, ah, where, ah, where?\n  Because I name them not, deaf to my prayer.\n\n  If I could only call them as I used,\n              Each by his name!\n  That violin--what ancient voice that mused!\n  Yon is the hill, I see the beacon flame.\n  My feet have found the road where once I came.\n  Quick--but again the dark, darkness and shame.\n\n\n\n\nTHE BATTLE AGAINST THE SHERMAN LAW\n\nHOW CAPITAL AND LABOR COMBINE TO SAFEGUARD THE TRUST AND LEGALIZE THE\nBOYCOTT\n\nBY BURTON J. HENDRICK\n\nILLUSTRATED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS\n\n\nUnder the existing laws of the United States, it is a crime to\norganize a combination of individuals or corporations into a business\naggregation in restraint of trade. It is likewise a crime for labor\nmen or labor unions in different States to combine for the prosecution\nof certain aggressive enterprises popularly described as boycotts. Any\nperson convicted of engaging in either of these prohibited acts may be\nfined not more than $5,000 for each offense, or imprisoned for one year\nat hard labor, or both.\n\nAccording to reliable estimates, there are in the neighborhood of five\nhundred large trusts or combinations that daily violate this law.\nThere are many thousands of smaller corporations and business firms\nthat indulge in secret practices for which their officers may at any\ntime be lodged in jail. As for the national prohibition of boycotts,\nlabor organizations openly exist for the express purpose of conducting\nthem. The constitution of the most powerful labor organization in this\ncountry, the Federation of Labor, specifically provides for engaging in\nthis form of industrial warfare.\n\nThe statute that outlaws these combinations of both capital and labor\nis the famous Sherman Anti-trust Law. It is one of the briefest, most\npointed, and most comprehensive measures ever passed by Congress. It\ncontains only about seven hundred words and would fill less than a page\nof this magazine. In its first three lines, without any modifications\nor circumlocutions, it declares illegal \"every contract, combination in\nthe form of trust or otherwise, or conspiracy, in restraint of trade or\ncommerce among the several States or with foreign nations.\" The next\nfew lines provide the punishment, cited above, for breaking the law.\nThe Sherman Act does not say that \"some combinations\" are illegal and\ncriminal, but that \"every\" one is. It does not provide that certain\noffenders may be punished, but that \"every\" one \"shall be.\" It leaves\nabsolutely no discretion to prosecuting officers or to the courts.\nWithin its comprehensive folds are gathered, on the one hand, the most\ncommanding captains of industry and the greatest railroad magnates;\nand, on the other, the most insignificant puddlers in their furnaces\nand stokers on their trains.\n\nThe Sherman Act has thus established a community of interest between\nlabor and capital which has had important practical results. Both\ncapital and labor are openly evading the law. Both have many times been\nhaled into court, convicted of infringing this statute, and enjoined\nfrom continuing in their illegal combinations. Both consequently find\nit an irksome impediment to their present plans and ambitions. In their\nactive opposition to the law the two previously warring elements now\nmeet on common ground.\n\nThe platform of the Republican party calls for amendments which, to\nall practical purposes, will seriously weaken the law, so far as its\napplication to corporate combinations is concerned. The Democratic\nplatform demands such changes as will exempt labor unions from its\noperation,--which is virtually the same thing as demanding the\nlegalization of the boycott. At the last session of Congress the\nspectacle was presented of important labor unions and great corporation\nlawyers working hand in hand to this common end. Though this agitation\nfailed for the time being, it may safely be asserted that the repeal\nor modification of the Sherman Act will continue to be a fixed article\nof the policy both of large aggregations of wealth and of large\naggregations of labor. This fact makes important a study of its history\nand of its practical effects upon corporate and labor organizations.\n\n\n_The Sherman Law Not Rushed Through Congress_\n\nHardly any important legislation has been so imperfectly understood\nor more persistently misrepresented. Although the law was passed only\neighteen years ago, a large number of legends have already grown up\nabout it. According to popular belief, the Sherman Anti-trust Act is an\nimperfect piece of legislation; a measure which was drawn up hastily,\nwithout thorough study or knowledge of the economic and social problems\nwhich it was intended to solve. The corporations declare that it was\nnever intended to meet industrial conditions as they exist now: labor\nleaders have repeatedly asserted that the framers of the measure never\nintended that it should affect organizations of labor.\n\nA study of the congressional debates which preceded the passage of the\nSherman Act dissipates these misconceptions. The law was not rushed\nthrough Congress. It was seriously proposed as a carefully thought-out\nattempt to check great and clearly comprehended evils. In essence those\nevils did not differ from the ones which confront the American people\ntoday. In 1890 the trust, or the industrial combination, had almost\nreached its present state of development. Large aggregations of capital\nhad already secured a monopoly of many of the necessaries of life. The\nStandard Oil Trust was then, as it is now, the most conspicuous of\nthese combinations, and had already attained an unpopularity almost\nas great as it enjoys today; the Sugar Trust controlled practically\nthe whole output of refined sugar. The Steel Trust, it is true, did\nnot exist; but many combinations in steel products had already been\nformed. Combinations on steel rails dictated prices; nails, barbed\nfence wire, copper, lead, nickel, zinc, cordage, cottonseed oil,--all\nthese products had already been brought largely under trust control.\nThe Salt Trust and the Whiskey Trust had been organized. Combinations\nof railroads, for the purpose of fixing charges for transportation,\nhad existed for twenty-five years. In 1875 Commodore Vanderbilt\ncalled the first great meeting of railroad trunk lines at Saratoga;\nand this conference adopted a \"pooling\" arrangement. The accumulated\nrailroad abuses of a generation, especially this practice of \"pooling\"\nearnings, had led to the passage of the Interstate Commerce Act in\n1887--three years before the enactment of the Sherman Law.\n\nOther combinations, which disdained the name of trusts, but which had\nalready developed certain points in common with them, also flourished.\nThe labor union, for example, was in full flower. The Knights of\nLabor, under Powderly, had passed through many triumphant years; the\nFederation of Labor was firmly entrenched, and Samuel Gompers was its\nPresident then as he is today. The unions existed then, as they do\nnow, to secure higher wages and greater advantages of employment for\ntheir members; and one of their weapons then, as it is at present, was\nthe boycott. Organizations of farmers, which existed for a similar\npurpose--the Farmers' Alliance, the National League--had also reached a\nhigh state of development.\n\n\n_Statesmen who Framed the Sherman Law_\n\nNor were the framers of this law inexperienced legislators who hastily\nscrambled together a measure to meet certain political exigencies. The\nmen chiefly responsible for the anti-trust law were John Sherman of\nOhio, George F. Edmunds of Vermont, George F. Hoar of Massachusetts,\nGeorge Gray of Delaware, and James Z. George of Mississippi. Senator\nSpooner recently declared that no greater body of lawyers ever sat in\nCongress; no one would venture to contend that there is any similar\ngroup of five men in Washington today. John Sherman had served almost\ncontinuously in Congress since 1854; he had represented Ohio in\nthe Senate throughout the Civil War and the reconstruction period,\ndisplaying especial talent in dealing with questions of national\nfinance; and, as Secretary of the Treasury in President Hayes' cabinet,\nhad carried through with masterly success the resumption of specie\npayments. George F. Edmunds was generally regarded as the greatest\nlawyer then in the Senate. Starting his career in that body in 1866,\nwhen Congress had to handle the intricate constitutional problems\ninvolved in the readmission of the Southern States, he immediately\nbecame one of an influential group of which the other members were\nSumner, Fessenden, Trumbull, and Wade, and took an important part in\nframing the legislation of the reconstruction period. George F. Hoar\nhad, by 1890, represented Massachusetts in the Senate for thirteen\nyears; his great learning, his comprehensive knowledge of public\nquestions, his independence, his genuine devotion to the best public\ninterests had made him one of the most commanding figures in that body.\nGeorge Gray of Delaware, at present a judge of the United States\nCircuit Court, and for many years one of the most conservative forces\nin the Democratic party--the same George Gray upon whom many of Mr.\nBryan's opponents hoped to unite a few months ago as the Democratic\npresidential nominee--was also recognized as one of the Senate's\ngreatest authorities on the Constitution. Senator George had served for\nmany years as chief justice of the Supreme Court of Mississippi, and\nwas the author and compiler of many works on law which are still widely\nused.\n\nOver the question of federal control of large combinations these five\nmen and their colleagues debated for nearly two years. Senator Sherman\nintroduced his first anti-trust act August 14, 1888; the present\nstatute finally became a law on July 21, 1890. During this period six\nseparate trust bills, all modifications of that originally introduced\nby Mr. Sherman, were laid before the Senate. They were considered by\ntwo committees--the Finance and the Judiciary--and debated at great\nlength in the committee of the whole. The discussions occupy one\nhundred and fifty pages of the Congressional Record.\n\nA striking illustration of the general ignorance of the circumstances\nunder which the Sherman Act was passed is furnished by the present\nRepublican platform. This declares that \"the Republican party passed\nthe Sherman Anti-Trust Act over Democratic opposition.\" The records\nof Congress, however, show no indications of any opposition at all,\nDemocratic or other. Of the five men most conspicuous in framing the\nlaw, three were Republicans and two were Democrats. In the Senate only\none senator voted against the passage; in the House two hundred and\nforty-two votes were cast in favor of the act, and not a single one was\ncast against it. The whole debate was notable for its seriousness and\nits dignity; one or two Democrats did suggest that a revision of the\ntariff might help to curb the trusts; but that was the only partisan\nnote struck. Congress keenly appreciated the issues raised by the trust\nproblem and the necessity of taking action that would be beneficial and\npermanent. Everybody realized, also, the inherent difficulties of the\nsituation. The debates in the Senate on this issue, far from indicating\na scrappy investigation, furnish material for a liberal education in\nthe constitutional questions involved in dealing with monopolies.\nSenator Hoar, in preparation for the work, studied the history of\nlegislation concerning monopolies from the time of Zeno. One of the\nsections in the bill--that providing that a successful litigant against\na trust can recover three times the damages suffered from it--Mr. Hoar\nincorporated from a statute on monopolies passed in the reign of James\nI.\n\n  [Illustration: SAMUEL GOMPERS, FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS PRESIDENT OF THE\n  FEDERATION OF LABOR. MR. GOMPERS DEMANDS AN AMENDMENT OF THE SHERMAN\n  ANTI-TRUST ACT THAT WOULD MAKE LEGAL THE INTERSTATE BOYCOTT]\n\n\n_Sherman Act Intended to Apply to Labor Unions_\n\nOf all the legends which have grown up about this law, perhaps the\nmost absurd is that it was never intended to apply to workingmen. \"As\na matter of fact,\" said Samuel Gompers before the Judiciary Committee\nof the House last winter, \"every man who now lives and is familiar\nwith the legislation of the day knows that the Sherman Anti-trust Law\nwas never intended to include organizations of labor,\" Chief Justice\nFuller, in a recent decision of the United States Supreme Court, flatly\ncontradicts Mr. Gompers' statement. \"The records of Congress show,\"\nsays Justice Fuller, \"that several efforts were made to exempt, by\nlegislation, organizations of farmers and laborers from the operation\nof the act and that all these efforts failed,\" In fact, the question\nof the relation of labor unions and the law occupied a conspicuous\nplace in the debates; it was almost as constantly in the minds of the\nSenators as the question of capitalistic combinations themselves.\nTo meet this situation, Senator Sherman introduced an amendment\nspecifically excepting labor unions and agricultural associations from\nthe operation of his statute. Mr. Gompers, according to his remarks\nbefore the Judiciary Committee last winter, was partly responsible for\nthe introduction of this amendment. Senator Edmunds opposed it on the\nground that it granted rights to labor which it withheld from capital,\nand he insisted that both sides should be treated upon an exact\nequality. In the following words he disposed for all time of Senator\nSherman's plea for preferential treatment of laboring men:\n\n     The fact is that this matter of capital, as it is called, of\n     business, and of labor, is an equation, and you cannot disturb one\n     side of the equation without disturbing the other. If it costs\n     for labor 50 per cent. more to produce a ton of iron, that 50 per\n     cent. more goes into what that iron must sell for, or some part of\n     it. I take it everybody will agree to that.\n\n     Very well. Now, if you say to one side of that equation, \"You may\n     make the value or the price of this iron by your combination for\n     wages in the whole Republic or on the continent, but the man for\n     whom you have made the iron shall not arrange with his neighbors\n     as to the price they will sell it for, so as not to destroy each\n     other,\" the whole business will certainly break, because the\n     connection between the plant, as I will call it for short, and\n     the labor that works that plant, is one that no legislation and\n     no force in the world--and there is only one outside of the world\n     that can do it--can possibly separate. They cannot be divorced.\n     Neither speeches nor laws nor judgments of courts nor anything\n     else can change it, and therefore I say that to provide on one\n     side of that equation that there may be combination and on the\n     other side that there shall not, is contrary to the very inherent\n     principle upon which such business must depend. If we are to have\n     equality, as we ought to have, if the combination on the one side\n     is to be prohibited, the combination on the other side must be\n     prohibited, or there will be certain destruction in the end....\n\n     On the one side you say that it is a crime and on the other side\n     you say it is a valuable and proper under-taking. That will\n     not do, Mr. President. You can not get on in that way. It is\n     impossible to separate them; and the principle of it therefore is\n     that if one side, no matter which it is, is authorized to combine,\n     the other side must be authorized to combine, or the thing will\n     break and there will be universal bankruptcy. That is what it will\n     come to.\n\n  [Illustration: SENATOR GEORGE F. EDMUNDS, GENERALLY REGARDED AS ONE OF\n  THE GREATEST CONSTITUTIONAL LAWYERS OF HIS TIME. THE SHERMAN ACT, AS\n  IT STANDS AT PRESENT, IS VERY LARGELY HIS WORK]\n\nSenator Edmunds' logic absolutely killed any attempt to place capital\nand labor upon different footings, Instead of adopting this proposed\namendment, the Senate referred the whole question of trust legislation\nto the Judiciary Committee, of which Senator Edmunds was chairman. Mr.\nEdmunds and his colleagues threw into the waste basket all the pending\ntrust bills and their amendments and struck out on new lines. As a\nconsequence, Senator Edmunds became the chief author of the Sherman\nAnti-Trust Law. His most active associates, were Senator Hoar and\nSenator George. The one man who had practically nothing to do with the\nstatute as it stands to-day was Senator Sherman himself. He played\nan important part in the preliminary discussion and in framing the\nmeasures which served as a basis for this discussion; but the bill as\nit was finally adopted by Congress bore little resemblance to his.\nThe amendment upon which he laid especial stress--that of exempting\nlaboring and agricultural organizations from the operation of the\nAnti-trust Law--was absolutely ignored.\n\nAs finally adopted, the act did not prohibit labor unions per se or\ncombinations of labor unions formed to accomplish lawful ends; it\ndid, however, strike at certain labor union practices. That this was\nthe clear intention of the Senate is evident from a statement made by\nSenator Edmunds in a newspaper interview as far back as 1892. \"The\nSherman Law,\" said Mr. Edmunds, \"is intended to cover and I think will\ncover every form of combination that seeks in any way to interfere with\nor restrain free competition, whether it be capital in the form of\ntrusts, combinations, railroad pools, or agreements, or labor through\nthe form of boycotting organizations that say a man shall not earn his\nbread unless he joins this or that society. Both are wrong; both are\ncrimes and indictable under the Anti-trust Law.\"\n\n\n_Unsuccessful Efforts to Destroy the Law_\n\nFor eighteen years the anti-trust statute has represented American\npolicy and American law in federal regulation of combinations in\nrestraint of trade. In that period the act has been repeatedly\nassailed from many legal standpoints. It has been passed upon more\nthan two hundred and fifty times by the federal courts, and has been\nconsidered fifty-five times by the United States Supreme Court. The\ngreatest constitutional lawyers of this generation--such men as\nEdward J. Phelps, James C. Carter, John F. Dillon, and Francis Lynde\nStetson--have attempted to destroy it and have not succeeded. The\ngreatest railroads and corporations, on the one hand, and the largest\nand most influential labor unions, on the other, have both failed in\ntheir attempts to secure exemption from its operation.\n\n  [Illustration: JUDGE GEORGE GRAY OF DELAWARE, WHO, AS UNITED STATES\n  SENATOR, IN 1890, TOOK AN IMPORTANT PART IN FRAMING THE SHERMAN LAW]\n\nThe history of the Sherman Act has absolutely justified the wisdom\nand integrity of the Supreme Court. Scores of times the lower courts\nhave decided against the government; and the most important decisions\nhave been those in which the Supreme Court has reversed the inferior\ntribunals. The record of federal prosecutions under this law affords an\ninteresting insight into the attitude of the several administrations\ntoward trust regulation. President Harrison, under whose administration\nthe law was passed, accomplished little. His attorney-general brought\nseven actions--four bills in equity and three criminal indictments.\nUnder the equity proceedings, he obtained three injunctions; the\ncriminal proceedings all ended in failure. One of the cases instituted\nby President Harrison, however,--that against the Trans-Missouri\nFreight Association,--was afterward taken to the Supreme Court by\nPresident Cleveland's attorney-general, and resulted in securing one of\nthe most important decisions in the history of the law.\n\nPresident Cleveland showed considerably more activity than his\npredecessor. Though only eight proceedings stand to his credit,\nseveral of them were of the greatest importance. He used the Sherman\nLaw in fighting the Debs cases growing out of the Pullman strike; and\nin the well-known Addyston Pipe & Steel Company case he dissolved a\ncombination, formed by several manufacturers of gas and sewer pipe, to\nmonopolize the trade of most large American municipalities. President\nMcKinley apparently had little interest in the Sherman Law; throughout\nhis four and a half years only three cases were prosecuted, none of\nwhich were of much consequence. With the administration of President\nRoosevelt, however, the situation changed. Against the seven cases\ninstituted by Harrison, the eight by Cleveland, the three by McKinley,\nstand thirty-seven started by Roosevelt. That is, he has instituted\ntwice as many cases as all his predecessors combined, and many of\nthe Roosevelt prosecutions have proved successful. Nineteen of these\nthirty-seven cases have already been decided; the government has won\nseventeen and lost only two.\n\nAs a result of these many proceedings and interpretations, the Sherman\nAnti-trust Law is now fairly well understood. There has recently been\nmuch complaint that the law is not sufficiently \"specific\"; that\nbusiness men and labor leaders are groping very much in the dark;\nthat it is impossible to say what this statute prohibits and what it\npermits. From the judicial literature which has accumulated in the\nlast eighteen years, however, a fairly clear idea of its bearings\nupon large enterprises, both of labor and capital, can be obtained.\nSenator Hoar declared, when the bill came up for final passage, that\nit enunciated no new principle of law. It made illegal \"restraints of\ntrade\" and \"monopolies,\" but these had been for centuries unlawful in\nall Anglo-Saxon countries. As far back as the reign of Henry VI. in\nEngland, in 1436, a law was passed declaring that \"all agreements in\nrestraint of trade are illegal and voide.\" This principle has ever\nsince been part of the law of England, and is at present part of the\ncommon law of many States in the Union.\n\n  [Illustration: FRANCIS LYNDE STETSON, CHIEF COUNSEL FOR THE UNITED\n  STATES STEEL CORPORATION AND OTHER MORGAN ORGANIZATIONS. MR. STETSON\n  WAS ONE OF THE DRAFTERS OF LAST WINTER'S TRUST BILL. IF IT HAD BECOME\n  A LAW, THIS MEASURE WOULD HAVE MADE THE UNITED STATES STEEL COMPANY\n  PRACTICALLY IMMUNE FROM FEDERAL PROSECUTION]\n\nIn the United States itself, however,--that is, in the federal\ncourts--there is no common law; everything must be fixed and regulated\nby statute. What the Sherman Act did was to make this common law on the\nsubjects of restraints and monopolies the statute law of the United\nStates. Under the common law of practically every State, monopolies\nand restraining combinations were illegal; Congress made these illegal\nwhen they involved inter-State trade. Under the common law boycotts\nwere illegal also; Congress made illegal the inter-State boycott.\nCongressional action on this subject was demanded, because the larger\nnumber of these unlawful combinations could be reached only by federal\naction, inasmuch as they usually involved more than one State.\n\nUnder the rulings of the Supreme Court, combinations and conspiracies\nwhich restrain trade and develop monopolies are those which, broadly\nspeaking, deprive the public of the benefits of free competition. This\nact recognizes the competitive system as the one industrial ideal,\nand outlaws anything that interferes with a free, unobstructed flow of\ntrade. A trust that gets control of the larger part of a particular\nproduct and manipulates the output so as to prevent trade from flowing\nin its natural course--that is an illegal restraint. Labor unions that\ncombine to divert artificially this same course of trade--as they\nunquestionably do when they persuade the public not to have business\nrelations with particular persons or corporations against which\nthey have declared a boycott--also engage in an illegal restraint.\nThe Sherman Law aims only to protect the public against these\nunnatural influences; to restore business to normal conditions. With\ncorporations, the final test as to whether they restrain trade or not\nis whether their effect is to increase prices. If they do not increase\nprices, then they do not restrain trade and consequently do not violate\nthe Sherman Act. The Supreme Court has insisted upon one important\nmodification of this principle. The effect upon prices must be\nimmediate and not remote. An arbitrary agreement that definitely fixes\nthe prices of a product is clearly illegal; an agreement which, in the\nlast analysis, might tend to influence prices, would not necessarily be\nso.\n\n  [Illustration: SETH LOW, EX-MAYOR OF NEW YORK, WHO, AS PRESIDENT OF\n  THE NATIONAL CIVIC FEDERATION, ADVOCATES THE AMENDMENT OF THE SHERMAN\n  LAW]\n\n\n_Railroads Stopped from Making Rate Agreements_\n\nIn the first ten years after the passing of the Sherman Act, the\ngovernment attacked most successfully, not the great solidified\naggregations of capital popularly known as trusts, but the more or\nless loosely organized federations of corporations, formed chiefly for\nthe purpose of regulating and establishing prices. Trade agreements,\nnot monopolistic corporations, became its chief quarry. In proscribing\nthese agreements as illegal, the Sherman Act was found to be extremely\neffective. The very first case under this law was directed against a\ncombination of coal-mining companies in Kentucky and Tennessee, which\nexisted for the express purpose of regulating output and fixing prices.\nThe courts promptly decided that this agreement violated the Sherman\nAct. In 1892 eighteen railroads, nearly all operating west of the\nMissouri River, organized what they called the Trans-Missouri Freight\nAssociation. This association included many of the great Western roads,\ncompanies of the magnitude of the Santa Fe, the Missouri Pacific, and\nthe Rock Island. Its object, as clearly stated in the articles of\nassociation, was \"mutual protection by establishing and maintaining\nreasonable rates, rules, and regulations, in all freight traffic, both\nthrough and local.\" In other words, it proposed to fix arbitrarily\nthe price of transportation throughout the enormous territory covered\nby the eighteen railroads in question. The old \"pooling\" agreements,\nwhich had existed for many years, had been prohibited by the Interstate\nCommerce Law passed in 1887; and this Traffic Association was an\nattempt to accomplish the same end--that is, stop competition among the\nrailroads and maintain rates--in a different way. The Supreme Court,\nby a vote of five to four, decided that this agreement was prohibited\nby the Sherman Anti-trust Act, because, as an attempt to fix prices,\nit restrained trade. The famous Trans-Missouri decision, which settled\nthis case, made the Sherman Law an insurmountable bulwark against all\nrailroad combinations of this kind. Until this decision was finally\ngiven in 1897, this act had not been seriously regarded; after the\nSupreme Court had spoken, however, capitalists suddenly awoke to its\nsignificance. The decision settled many important points, which will be\nreferred to subsequently in this article, and it changed as well the\nwhole policy of railroad management.\n\nThe Sherman Act has stopped, not only railroad combinations, but\nsimilar agreements existing among manufacturers for the regulation\nof prices. The case of the Addyston Pipe & Steel Company is the most\ncelebrated of this kind. In 1894 a large number of manufacturers\nof sewer and gas pipe, the Addyston Company being one, formed a\ncombination to monopolize business and fix prices in thirty-six States\nand Territories. All companies which were parties to the agreement\nreserved the right to compete with each other outside of these\nthirty-six States as fiercely as before. They significantly called the\nsection in which there was to be no competition \"pay territory\"; and\nthe States outside of this section were known as \"free territory.\"\nThese manufacturers dealt chiefly with municipalities, which usually\nlet contracts for sewer and gas pipe by public bidding. Whenever such\na contract was offered, the Addyston combination would meet secretly,\ndecide upon the price they would charge, and then arrange a program\nof fictitious bids. They then divided the profits among themselves.\nIn this way they forced practically all purchasers in the sections in\nwhich they traded to pay exorbitant prices. Indeed, the subsequent\nhistory of this combination beautifully illustrates the practical\neffect upon the public of agreements of this kind. The Addyston and\nits associate members sold certain pipe in \"pay territory,\" where\nthe combination was enforced, at twenty-four dollars a ton; in \"free\nterritory,\" where they competed with each other, they frequently sold\nidentically the same product at fourteen dollars. The Supreme Court\ndecided that this agreement violated the Sherman Act--that it was a\ncombination or a conspiracy in restraint of trade. William H. Taft,\nthen United States Circuit Judge, wrote an opinion discussing the\nmerits of this dispute which has since become a legal classic. Mr. Taft\nspent six months in studying the questions involved.\n\nNearly all such cases, however, involved merely what may be called\ntrade agreements. In each case there were actual attempts to fix\nprices by compact, and these agreements were the only things in\ncommon among the different corporations that became parties to them.\nThe several corporations preserved their independent existence; they\nwere not trusts in the sense in which the Standard Oil Company, the\nAmerican Sugar Refining Company, the United States Steel Company, are\ntrusts--that is, single corporations, producing and distributing the\ngreater part of some particular product. Until President Roosevelt's\nadministration, these trusts had, for the larger part, escaped\nprosecution under the Sherman Law, the few attempts that had been made\nto assail them; having ingloriously failed.\n\n  [Illustration: JOHN SHERMAN, A STATESMAN WHO SERVED THE GOVERNMENT\n  FOR MORE THAN FORTY YEARS, AS SENATOR, SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY, AND\n  SECRETARY OF STATE. BETWEEN 1888 AND 1890 HE INTRODUCED SIX SEPARATE\n  BILLS FOR THE REGULATION OF TRUSTS, AND OUT OF THESE GREW THE MEASURE\n  WHICH NOW BEARS HIS NAME]\n\nMeanwhile, in the first twelve years after the passage of the\nAnti-trust Act, and in the teeth of it, some of the largest\nmonopolistic corporations were formed. Many persons have maintained\nthat the Sherman Law, far from forestalling these corporations, has\nactually precipitated them. Their point is that, since this act\nclearly outlawed trade agreements among independent corporations, these\ncorporations, in order to get control of the situation, have been\ncompelled to amalgamate themselves under one ownership. The Sherman\nAct made illegal, for example, rate agreements among railroads; as a\nconsequence, in order to control railroad policy, the owners of the\ngreat trunk lines have purchased large blocks of stock in each other's\nproperty--on what is popularly known as the \"community of interest\"\nidea.\n\nPresident Roosevelt, however, has succeeded in applying the Sherman\nAct to the trusts, as that word is popularly understood. The famous\nNorthern Securities case is his greatest victory along that line. In\nthis instance, Mr. J. J. Hill and J. Pierpont Morgan formed a new\ncorporation, the Northern Securities Company, which acquired the actual\nstock ownership of nine-tenths of the stock of the Northern Pacific\nRailroad and three-fourths of that of the Great Northern. The Northern\nSecurities Company thus obtained a virtual monopoly of railroad\ntransportation from the Great Lakes to the Pacific Ocean in the\nnorthern section of the United States. The Roosevelt administration,\nrelying solely upon the Sherman Act, destroyed this corporation. The\nadministration has followed up this victory by instituting suits\nagainst the Standard Oil Company, the American Tobacco Company, and\nother powerful monopolies.\n\n  [Illustration: GEORGE FRISBIE HOAR, UNITED STATES SENATOR FROM 1877 TO\n  1904, AND ONE OF THE AUTHORS OF THE SHERMAN ANTI-TRUST ACT]\n\n\n_Labor Unions, as Such, Not Prohibited_\n\nMeanwhile, the same law has proved an effective weapon in opposing\nthat other form of combination and restraint against which it was\nframed,--the labor trust. Under it a new code of federal laws affecting\nlabor unions has developed; and to a large extent it has strengthened\nthe cause of legitimate labor organization. No intelligent person now\ndisputes the right of workingmen to organize. A few labor leaders have\npublicly declared their apprehension that the Sherman Law prohibits\npeaceable labor organizations; no man, however, has thus far had the\nhardihood to raise this question legally; and, in the present state\nof public opinion as to the rights of labor, no one is likely to.\nThe United States Courts, in decisions defining the scope of the\nSherman Act, have specifically stated that it does not prohibit the\nordinary peaceful activities of labor unions. Justice White, in a\ndecision of the Supreme Court, has declared that an agreement among\n\"locomotive engineers, firemen, or trainmen engaged in the service\nof an inter-State railroad not to work for less than a certain named\ncompensation\" would not be illegal. William H. Taft, in one of the most\nimportant decisions affecting the rights of workmen under the Sherman\nAct, has defined the situation in words which are now widely accepted\nas a clear statement of what is not only good law but sound public\npolicy:\n\n     The employees of the receiver had the right to organize into or\n     join a labor union which would take action as to the terms of\n     their employment. It is a benefit to them and to the public\n     that laborers should unite for their common interest and for\n     lawful purposes. They have labor to sell. If they stand together,\n     they are often able, all of them, to obtain better prices for\n     their labor than dealing singly with rich employers, because\n     the necessities of the single employee may compel him to accept\n     any price that is offered. The accumulation of a fund for those\n     who feel that the wages offered are below the legitimate market\n     value of such labor is desirable. They have the right to appoint\n     officers, who shall advise them as to the course to be taken in\n     relations with their employers. They may unite with other unions.\n     The officers they appoint, or any other person they choose to\n     listen to, may advise them as to the proper course to be taken in\n     regard to their common employment; or if they choose to appoint\n     any one, he may order them on pain of expulsion from the union\n     peaceably to leave the employ of their employer because any of the\n     terms of the employment are unsatisfactory.\n\nIt is clearly indicated, therefore, what labor leaders, under the\nSherman Act, can do. They have the right to organize, to combine--that\nis, to form unions; they have the right to refuse to work for wages or\nterms of employment unsatisfactory to themselves--that is, to strike.\nUnder the Sherman Act, indeed, mere organizations of laboring men are\nregarded as no more outlawed than ordinary social clubs or college\nfraternities.\n\n\n_How the Chicago Strike of 1894 Restrained Trade_\n\nOn the other hand, labor leaders know what, under the Sherman Act,\nthey can not do. They cannot enter into combinations that restrain\ntrade. This vital point has been settled in several important\nproceedings--those involving the Chicago disturbances in 1894, and,\nmore recently the decision just handed down in the matter of the\nDanbury Hatters. These cases so clearly show the bearing of the Sherman\nAct upon illegal labor practices, that they may profitably be reviewed\nhere.\n\n  [Illustration: _Copyrighted by C. R. Buck_\n\n  CONGRESSMAN CHARLES E. LITTLEFIELD OF MAINE, WHOSE KEEN ANALYSIS OF\n  LAST WINTER'S CIVIC FEDERATION TRUST BILL WAS LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR\n  ITS DEFEAT]\n\nIn 1894 the employees of the Pullman Palace Car Company of Chicago\nstruck for higher wages. These employees were not railway men; they\nwere workmen engaged in the manufacture of railway cars. In spite\nof this, about four thousand had been admitted to membership in the\nAmerican Railway Union, an organization of railroad operatives,\nwhich, under the vigorous management of Eugene V. Debs, had acquired\na membership of 250,000, and a correspondingly great power in the\nfield of railroad labor. In order to help the Pullman workmen in their\nstruggle with the Pullman Company, the American Railway Union declared\nwhat was in effect a boycott upon all railroads using Pullman cars.\nNearly all the larger American railroads had entered into contracts\nwith the Pullman Company, by which parlor and sleeping cars were to be\nused on their trains. Debs now demanded that these railroads should\nbreak their contracts, and thereby, of course, become responsible for\nheavy damages to the Pullman Company. In other words, he demanded that\nall American railroads cease patronizing the Pullman Company because of\nits \"unfair\" attitude toward union labor; that is, he started a boycott\nagainst the Pullman Company. When the railroad companies refused to\nmeet his demand, he ordered out all American Railway Union men employed\non these lines. He even declared war upon several of the Vanderbilt\nroads, which had no Pullman sleepers, operating instead the Wagner\ncars. In effect, in order that several thousand workmen in Chicago\nmight profitably settle their private grievances with their employers,\nDebs proposed, practically to end railroad communication in the larger\npart of the United States.\n\n\"The gigantic character of the conspiracy,\" said William H. Taft in\na well-known decision resulting from these proceedings, \"staggers\nthe imagination. The railroads have become as necessary to the life\nand health and comfort of the people of this country as are the\narteries to the human body.\" The larger part of our food supply,\nfor example, is furnished by means of the railway; the interruption\nof railroad transportation for any considerable period would, among\nother calamities, bring famine upon large sections of the country. In\nChicago, in Cincinnati, and in other large cities, Debs despatched his\nlieutenants with orders to tie up all railroads using Pullman cars.\nHe gave particular instructions to interfere with freight trains,\nsince freight was the main source of railroad revenue. In many places\nriots followed; in Chicago, strikers began wrecking trains, blowing up\nbridges, burning freight yards, tearing up tracks--indeed, nearly all\nthe twenty-three railroads centering in that city ceased operations.\nThe fundamental principles of the constitution, guaranteeing the\nsafety of life and property, had apparently given way to lawlessness\nand anarchy. In the opinion of Grover Cleveland, then President of\nthe United States, these proceedings constituted a \"conspiracy in\nrestraint of trade\" among the States, and as such were prohibited by\nthe Sherman Act. That the purpose and effect of Debs' proceedings was\nto restrain trade is sufficiently clear; indeed, no more complete\nrestraint than the cessation of railroad communication could be\nimagined. Trade in this case was not only restrained; it was entirely\nstopped. That the means by which this was to be accomplished had all\nthe essential elements of the inter-State boycott has also been shown.\nIn several cities, acting under the President's instructions, United\nStates district attorneys obtained injunctions on the ground that the\nstrike leaders were violating the Sherman Act, and also interfering\nwith the carriage of United States mails. In Chicago Eugene V. Debs\nwas enjoined, and, when he disobeyed the injunction, was arrested\nand afterward sentenced to six months' imprisonment. In Cincinnati\nhis associate, Frank W. Phelan, was likewise enjoined and likewise\nimprisoned for contempt. It was his act as judge in sending Phelan to\nprison for violating the Sherman Law that first made William H. Taft\na national figure. The circuit courts[J] decided, in several cases,\nthat the combination formed by Debs against nearly all the trunk lines\nwas a boycott, \"a conspiracy in restraint of trade,\" and punished the\nleaders, under the Sherman Act. William H. Taft declared that \"the\ncombination is in the teeth of the act of July 2, 1890.\"\n\n\n_The Danbury Hatters Attempt to \"Restrain Trade\"_\n\nThis boycott involved violence as an incident; the Supreme Court,\nhowever, has recently taken still more advanced ground, and decided\nthat a peaceable boycott also violates the Sherman Act. In the last\nfifteen years a terrific warfare has raged between the American\nFederation of Labor and nearly all American manufacturers of hats.\nThe American Federation has a membership variously estimated at from\n1,500,000 to 2,000,000, including workmen in practically every State\nand Territory. It is, as its name implies, a central association\norganized for the purpose of bringing into one effective machine all\nthe local labor organizations scattered throughout the country. It\nis an association of associations, and, as indicating its national\nscope, has its headquarters in Washington. It keeps constantly in touch\nwith its membership through its monthly publication, the American\nFederationist, as well as through the many journals of the unions\nwith which it is affiliated. It regularly employs nearly one thousand\nagents who continually push the interests of its members in the larger\npart of the United States and Canada. Mr. Samuel Gompers constantly\nuses this organization for the prosecution of inter-State boycotts.\nIn his petition to intervene in the Danbury Hatters case, Mr. Gompers\nstated, over his own signature, that \"the constitution of said American\nFederation of Labor makes special provision for the prosecution of\nboycotts, so-called, when instituted by a constituent or affiliated\norganization.\" In a public speech on May 1, 1908, Mr. Gompers declared\nthat the Supreme Court might \"as well dissolve and destroy the\norganization of labor as to enforce these decisions\"--that is, the\ndecisions against boycotts. Obviously, the Federation of Labor has an\nadvantageous organization for work of this kind. A local union, with\nmembership extending not beyond the limits of a town or State, could\nmake little headway against a manufacturer against whose goods it had\ndeclared a boycott, inasmuch as his trade usually extends over a large\narea. The American Federation of Labor, however, by embracing the local\nunions' cause can make the boycott effective in practically every part\nof the country. In the last twelve years, Mr. Gompers' organization has\ndeclared four hundred and eight boycotts.\n\nIn particular, it has prosecuted with considerable success boycotts\nagainst the manufacturers of fur hats. About ten years ago, Mr.\nGompers, working with the United Hatters of North America, inaugurated\nan elaborate program to compel all such manufacturers to unionize their\nshops. By using their well-known methods, they have brought to terms\nseventy out of the eighty-two manufacturers in this country. The firm\nof D. L. Loewe & Co. of Danbury, Connecticut, however, had persistently\nrefused to comply with these demands. Mr. Loewe was not a large\nmanufacturer; he had, however, built up a prosperous business, and,\nthough he had never shown any hostility to union labor, had insisted on\nmaintaining an open shop. In 1901 the United Hatters' Union practically\nordered him to discharge his non-union men and unionize his factory.\nMr. Loewe again refused to do this, and a strike immediately followed.\nMr. Loewe, however, promptly engaged new non-union men, and soon his\nfactory was running as busily and as profitably as before.\n\nMr. Gompers then brought the whole machinery of his organization to\nbear upon this recalcitrant hatter. On July 25, 1902, the Federation of\nLabor and the United Hatters declared a boycott against his products.\nThey denounced this concern in their several publications as \"unfair,\"\nand notified nearly all the wholesale and retail hat dealers throughout\nthe United States that they must not handle the Loewe goods, under\npain of being boycotted themselves. It is said that their agents kept\nespionage, in Danbury, over all freight consignments from the Loewe\nfactory, and thus obtained a fairly complete list of their customers;\ncommittees of labor men in many cities waited upon these customers,\nand, in several instances, persuaded them to drop the Loewe hats. Some\nfirms who refused to obey this dictation were themselves boycotted;\nand, in San Francisco, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Richmond, the\nboycott was pursued with particular virulence. The Federation went so\nfar as to grant a special dispensation to its members to purchase hats\nmade by other non-union labor, rather than patronize the Loewe brand.\nMr. Loewe, though he suffered enormous loss as a result of these\nproceedings, pluckily kept up the fight. Under the Sherman Law, an\naggrieved citizen is authorized to bring private suit against persons\nengaged in a conspiracy to restrain his trade, and, if he successfully\nmaintains his case, may recover three-fold damages. Mr. Loewe quietly\nwent to work and had made an inventory of all property-holders actively\nengaged in boycotting his goods. He then brought suits for $340,000\ndamages against a large number of labor men, filing in the District\nCourt 240 separate attachments. The Supreme Court of the United States\nmade short work of this case. Chief Justice Fuller, who wrote the\ndecision, declared that \"the combination described in the declaration\nis a combination 'in restraint of trade or commerce among the several\nStates' in the sense in which these words are used in the act, and the\naction can be maintained accordingly.\" An interesting feature of the\ncase is that the decision of the Supreme Court was unanimous. In nearly\nall the other proceedings involving the Sherman Law--the Trans-Missouri\ncase, the Northern Securities--the government has won by a bare\nmajority; every member of the Supreme bench, however, at once concluded\nthat Mr. Gompers' activities against the firm of D. L. Loewe & Co.\nrestrained inter-State trade, and thus violated the Sherman Law.\n\nThus, in eighteen years, the Sherman Act has proved an effective weapon\nagainst the two forms of trust and conspiracy with which the public\nis most familiar--combinations of capitalists to restrain inter-State\ntrade and arbitrarily fix prices, and combinations of labor unions\norganized for the prosecution of inter-State boycotts. It strikes\nimpartially the Northern Securities Company and the American Federation\nof Labor; it does not discriminate between the activities of Mr. J.\nPierpont Morgan and of Mr. Samuel Gompers. At the last session of\nCongress, the two forces which it opposes bent all their energies to\ndestroy this law; in all probability they will renew and redouble their\nefforts this winter.\n\n\n_National Civic Federation Attempts to Amend the Law_\n\nFor many years the National Civic Federation has been collecting data\nbearing upon the trust and labor problem. In 1899 it held a trust\nconference; and again, in October, 1907, it called a large meeting\nat Chicago for the consideration of the trust situation. Delegates\nappointed by the governors of forty-two States and representatives of\nmore than ninety commercial, agricultural, and labor organizations\ncontributed to these discussions. Referring to these Chicago\nproceedings, Mr. Theodore Marburg, one of the participants, said\nbefore the Judiciary Committee in Washington last winter: \"Mr. Nicholas\nMurray Butler sounded the note of attack upon the Sherman Anti-trust\nLaw.... I take it that the gentlemen will agree with me that it was\na dominant note of that conference.\" As a result, a bill radically\namending the Sherman Anti-trust Act was introduced in Congress at the\nlast session. Its most active sponsors in Washington were Seth Low,\npresident of the National Civic Federation, Professor Jeremiah W. Jenks\nof Cornell, and Samuel Gompers, president of the Federation of Labor.\nWell-known men who had participated in the conference that preceded\nthe framing of the bill were E. H. Gary, chairman of the Board of the\nUnited States Steel Corporation, Henry L. Higginson, Isaac N. Seligman,\nand James Speyer and August Belmont, bankers. Francis Lynde Stetson,\nchief counsel for the United States Steel Corporation and other Morgan\ncorporations, and Victor Morawetz, counsel for the Santa Fe Railroad,\nwrote the drafts. This latter fact was publicly stated by Mr. Low and\nMr. Jenks in the course of the hearings before the Judiciary Committee.\nThe authorship of the bill was early brought out in the following\ncolloquy between Congressman Charles E. Littlefield and Mr. Low:\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: Right there, Mr. Low, if there is no objection,\n     who are the people that actually participated in the preparation\n     of the bill? Who are the men who actually drew it?\n\n     MR. LOW: We conferred with Judge Gary, of the United States Steel\n     Corporation.\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: E. H. Gary, president of their board of directors?\n\n     MR. LOW: E. H. Gary. The lawyers actually engaged in the drafting\n     of the bill were Mr. Stetson----\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: That is, Francis Lynde Stetson?\n\n     MR. LOW: Francis Lynde Stetson; and Mr. Morawetz.\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: Victor Morawetz?\n\n     MR. LOW: Victor Morawetz.\n\nAt another time, Mr. Low described Mr. Stetson and Mr. Morawetz as\n\"the drafters\" of the bill. Herbert Knox Smith, commissioner of\ncorporations, also had a hand in framing the measure. President\nRoosevelt openly indorsed it and sent in an emergency message urging,\namong other things, its passage. Extensive hearings, extending through\nseveral months, were held before the Judiciary Committee. Many\nrepresentatives of capital and labor appeared in favor of the measure.\nAlthough Congressman Littlefield, who presided over these hearings,\nmany times expressed his wish to examine Mr. Stetson and Mr. Morawetz,\nthese gentlemen never appeared. Although Mr. Low promised that they\nwould submit a brief, explaining several disputed legal points, they\nnever did so. The burden of discussing the many intricate legal points\nthat constantly arose rested entirely upon the shoulders of Mr. Low and\nProfessor Jenks, neither of whom had had any legal training. Through\nthe efforts of Congressman Littlefield, James A. Emery, counsel for\nthe National Association for Industrial Defense, and Daniel Davenport,\ncounsel for the Anti-Boycott Association, the proposed law was\ndefeated, but the proceedings are of great interest and importance\nas illustrating the changes desired by both labor and capital in the\npresent anti-trust law.\n\n\n_Gompers Asks that the Boycott be Legalized_\n\nMr. Gompers' demands were entirely simple and direct. He wished labor\nunions entirely exempted from the operations of the Sherman Act. That\nlaw, if properly respected and enforced, would practically put an end\nto Mr. Gompers' occupation. Referring lately in a public speech to\nthe effect of a recent court decision against inter-State boycotts,\nMr. Gompers quoted, as applicable to his own organization, Shylock's\nspeech in \"The Merchant of Venice,\" \"You might as well take from\nme my life as take from me the means whereby I live.\" Mr. Gompers'\nchief interest in the Civic Federation bill, therefore, was a clause\nwhich specifically declared that the Anti-trust Act should not be so\ninterpreted \"as to interfere with or restrict any right of employees\nto strike for any cause or to combine or to contract with each\nother or with employers for the purpose of peaceably obtaining from\nemployers satisfactory terms of their labor or satisfactory conditions\nof employment.\" Mr. Low and Mr. Jenks denied that this language\nlegalized the boycott; Congressman Littlefield, however, and many other\nopponents of the measure, emphatically asserted that it did. Such\nsweeping concessions as \"_to strike for any cause_\" and \"_to combine\nor to contract with each other or with employers for the purpose\nof peaceably obtaining from employers satisfactory terms_,\" it was\nmaintained, clearly authorized such boycotts as that prosecuted against\nthe Danbury Hatters. That proceeding, it was pointed out, was entirely\npeaceable--there was no law-breaking, no rioting, no bloodshed. It\nwould also legalize, it was said, many of those arrangements between\nlabor unions and employers--by which employers' associations contract\nto employ only members of certain labor unions, the latter, on their\npart, contracting to work only for certain employers--which were\nbrought to such perfection by the late Sam Parks. Mr. Gompers demanded\nthat, if the clause in question did not authorize boycotts, another\nshould be substituted which did; to make the case sure, therefore, he\nproposed an amendment which did so in no uncertain tone. The following\nextract from the record clearly defines Mr. Gompers' position:\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: Now, Mr. Gompers, a word. Would this amendment\n     you suggest, if it became a law, authorize the prosecution of such\n     a boycott as was attempted in the Danbury Hatters' case, which was\n     in violation of the Sherman Anti-trust Law? Is that the purpose?\n\n     MR. GOMPERS: One of the purposes; yes, sir. That case was brought\n     under the Sherman Anti-trust Law.\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: Yes. And the purpose of the amendment you have\n     offered is to relieve you from the operation of the Sherman\n     Anti-trust Law as construed by the court in that case?\n\n     MR. GOMPERS: Yes, sir.\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: And to authorize that kind of an inter-State\n     boycott?\n\n     MR. GOMPERS: Yes, sir.\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: Do you, as the representative of organized labor,\n     favor the boycott, both as an inter-State and a local proposition?\n\n     MR. GOMPERS: I do, sir.\n\n     MR. LITTLEFIELD: And your organization stands for that?\n\n     MR. GOMPERS: It does, sir.[K]\n\n\n_Government to Discriminate Between Good and Bad Trusts_\n\nAs to monopolistic corporations, the proposed act placed them entirely\nunder the supervision of the executive branch of the government. If\nyou wished to form a trust, or enter into a restraining contract,\nand, at the same time, to escape the prohibition of the Sherman\nAct, you would first, under the provision of this bill, submit the\nproposed arrangement to the Commissioner of Corporations and answer\nsuch questions as he saw fit to ask. If he gave approval, you could\ngo ahead and carry out the deal, practically secure against further\ninterference. If he disapproved, you would be liable to attack under\nthe Sherman Act. In fact, the administration was to be given arbitrary\npower to discriminate between good and bad trusts, to separate the\ncorporation sheep from the corporation goats. \"You are all right,\" it\ncould say to one combination; \"you are all wrong,\" it could say to\nanother. The federal government, in other words, was to rule absolutely\nthe business activities of nearly 80,000,000 of people; merely by a\nword it could authorize a gigantic combination like the United States\nSteel Company, and prohibit another like the Standard Oil.\n\n\n_\"Reasonable\" and \"Unreasonable\" Combinations_\n\nThe above statement gives the effect and not precisely the form\nof the proposed legislation. What its authors really hoped to\naccomplish was executive discrimination between those combinations\nand those restraints of trade which were reasonable and those which\nwere unreasonable. They based their measure upon the theory that\ncertain combinations, even many whose tendency is to restrain trade\nand increase prices to the consumer, may still work for the public\ninterest. The word \"reasonable\" has played an important part in the\nhistory of the Sherman Act. In several cases the corporations, in\ncontesting the law, have made the claim that this act did not prohibit\nall combinations in restraint of trade, but only those which were\n\"unreasonable.\" They set up this defense most strongly in the famous\nTrans-Missouri case, already described. Eighteen railroads, it may be\nrepeated, had formed an association for the purpose of fixing freight\nrates. James C. Carter, who argued the case, strongly asserted that\nsuch an agreement was beneficial both to the railroads and to the\npublic; the history of railroads having conclusively proved that\ncut-throat competition inevitably led to bankruptcy and demoralization\nin railroad service. He therefore claimed that the proposed restraint\nin trade was \"reasonable\" and consequently not prohibited by the\nSherman Act. The Supreme Court, by a majority of five to four, rejected\nthis theory. The Sherman Act, it pointed out, in express language\nmade illegal \"_every_ contract, combination in the form of trust or\notherwise, or conspiracy, in restraint of trade\"; and made \"_every_\nperson\" who was a party to such contract a criminal. It left absolutely\nno leeway--it did not discriminate in the remotest degree between those\nwhich were reasonable and those which were not. Since then all demands\nfor the modification of the act have hinged upon this one point.\n\n\n_Andrew Carnegie on Combinations_\n\nThis demand, of course, has precipitated a very nice problem in\ndefinition. What is a reasonable combination? What is an unreasonable\none? What is a good trust? What is a bad one? Upon this all-important\nquestion the many weary hearings extending through four months before\nthe Judiciary Committee last winter shed practically no light. The\nCivic Federation bill was based upon this fundamental distinction;\nand a large number of distinguished citizens appeared in favor of\nit. Congressman Littlefield, as each speaker appeared before the\nCommittee, asked him to give a concrete illustration of a combination,\nforbidden by the Sherman Act, which really promoted the public interest\nand was therefore \"reasonable.\" Mr. Seth Low frankly admitted that he\ncould name no concrete case of the kind. He caused some amusement,\nhowever, when he read a letter from Andrew Carnegie touching upon this\nvery subject. \"One point seems to me essential,\" wrote Mr. Carnegie,\n\"without it, little general progress can be made; namely, when new\ncombinations are proposed, the first question must always be 'what is\nthe object sought?' _In ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, it will\nundoubtedly be to rob the community of its right to the benefits of\nfree competition, disguise it as one may_; therefore the Commissioner's\nduty is to obtain satisfactory proof that the application is to\ncover an exceptional case. The conditions must be peculiar, as those\nof common carriers and steel-rail agreements are.\" Mr. Carnegie's\nstatement that ninety-nine per cent of trade agreements are made for\nthe purpose of \"robbing the community\" and his implication that the\nexceptional one per cent are the agreements involving the manufacturers\nof steel rails, naturally provoked much hilarity.\n\nOnly two other illustrations were furnished of benevolent combinations.\nMr. Herbert Knox Smith, commissioner of corporations, instanced a\nproposed agreement among lumber men to cut only a certain amount\nof timber each year, the ostensible purpose being to prevent the\nwanton destruction of the forests. It appeared, however, that the\nreal purpose of such an agreement was not to preserve the forests,\nbut to restrict the output, and increase prices, and consequently\nthe profits of the lumber men. Another illustration offered was the\ncombination of patent medicine dealers to fix prices and prohibit\nprice cutting--the object, it was said, being to prevent the unfair\ncompetition of large department stores with retail druggists. But this,\nin the last analysis, was generally believed to be a concerted attempt\nto destroy competition and enhance the profits of patent medicine\nmakers. Congressman Littlefield insisted, throughout the entire\nproceedings, that the fundamental purpose of forbidden combinations was\nto control the product and thereby increase the price to the consumer.\nIf there were any combinations that did not have that purpose or\nresult, then the Sherman Act, according to Mr. Littlefield's analysis,\ndid not prohibit them. Thus in all attempts to define practically\nreasonableness and unreasonableness, as applied to trade agreements,\nthe statement was repeatedly made that the large part of the business\nof this country was done in violation of law; that business men lived\nconstantly in a state of terror from the fear of its enforcement; that\nits presence on the statute books largely explained existing business\ndepression. When it came to defining precisely what they wished to do,\nhowever, none of those who favored the bill became specific. The thing\nfinally simmered down to a statement by Mr. Low that the law was \"a\nvery important element in the psychological condition of business men\nto-day.\"\n\n\n_Indulgences to be Granted to Corporations_\n\nThis particular power of defining reasonableness and unreasonableness,\nhowever, the proposed law centered in the President, acting through\nthe Commissioner of Corporations. It provided a limited system of\nfederal registration for corporations, and, in a modified form, for\nfederal license and publicity--the two circumstances which probably\nled President Roosevelt to support the measure. In effect it granted\nindulgences to corporations to combine, provided they would do certain\nthings. The Sherman Law, as it stands to-day, was not specifically to\nbe repealed; it was simply to be waived in favor of those combinations\nand trusts which paid the price of these indulgences. In order to\nobtain absolution, the offending corporation must do two things:\nregister with the Bureau of Corporations and answer such questions\nas might be propounded to it. The bill authorized the President to\ndetermine precisely what information should be exacted, and also to\nchange from time to time the requirements regarding data. That is, for\nregistered corporations, it gave the executive branch of the government\nabsolute inquisitorial power. Registered corporations had the right\nto file with the Bureau any agreement or contract or combination to\nwhich it became a party--the precise kind of transactions made illegal\nby the Sherman Act. The Commissioner had thirty days in which to\nexamine such contracts; if, within that period, he declared them in\nreasonable restraint of trade, then they became practically legal.[L]\nIf not, then they could be proceeded against under the Sherman Law.\nThe chief point of criticism in this arrangement was the stipulation\nfor a thirty-day period during which the Commissioner must pass upon\nthese contracts. This, it was asserted, was the loop-hole by which the\ncorporations were to secure immunity. The Commissioner must declare\nthese contracts reasonable or unreasonable within thirty days; if\nhe failed to act upon them in that time, they became reasonable,\nprecisely as if he had declared them to be so. How, it has been\nasked, could the Bureau possibly act intelligently within that period\nupon many of the exceedingly intricate questions which would come up\nfor judgment? Whether a contract is reasonable, of course, largely\ndepends upon the way it affects prices. An examination would therefore\nfrequently involve an economic study of the particular trade, as well\nas the organization of the particular corporation involved. It would\nbe necessary to go deeply into capitalization, values behind this\ncapitalization, cost of production, wages, transportation charges\nand so on. There are said to be more than 200,000 corporations in\nexistence. Supposing half or a quarter should register,--how could\nthe Bureau possible examine them within thirty days? Would it be\npossible to investigate the United States Steel Corporation within\nthat period? Under the suggested law, however, unless the Commissioner\npassed judgment within this time, all these contracts and combinations\nwould automatically receive a certificate of good character. In their\ninterest, the Sherman Act would practically be repealed.\n\nIn the main, this provision referred to contracts made and combinations\nto be formed in the future; another section practically extended\nimmunity to all contracts and combinations now in existence. Nearly\nall trusts organized in the last forty years, and all restraining\nagreements, were to become valid. The government was to have a year in\nwhich to institute proceedings against such corporations as declined\nto register. If it failed to do so within this time, then these\ncombinations could never be attacked on any ground whatever, and\nbecame regularly fixed institutions. As there are about five hundred\ncorporations popularly known as trusts and myriads of trade agreements\nnow forbidden, the law department, it was suggested, would have its\nhands full if it attempted to bring suit against them all within twelve\nmonths. Moreover, after the passage of the proposed act, the government\ncould not proceed against any combination except on one ground--that\nit was an unreasonable restraint of trade. Under the Sherman Act, it\nwill be remembered, it can prosecute without any reference to the\nquestion as to whether the restraint is reasonable or not. If the act\nhad passed, in other words, the position of the government would have\nbeen this: within a year it could have assailed the trusts only on\nthe grounds of unreasonableness; after the expiration of a year it\ncould assail them on no ground whatever. A saving clause, however,\nprovided that the government could prosecute all actions already\nbegun. That is, it could follow up to the end the pending cases against\nthe Standard Oil, the American Tobacco Company and other corporations\nagainst which it has already started suit. It could not prosecute,\nhowever, the United States Steel Corporation, for it has instituted no\nproceeding in that direction. It was the Attorney of the United States\nSteel Corporation, Mr. Francis Lynde Stetson, who had a large hand in\nframing the bill.\n\nThese facts have led many observers to believe that the bill in\nquestion represented an underhanded attempt, by large corporations,\nespecially the United States Steel, practically to remove the\nSherman Anti-trust Law from the statute book. Mr. E. H. Gary and\nMr. George W. Perkins spent many days in Congress while the bill\nwas under discussion, though they did not once openly appear before\nthe committee. No criticism affecting the good faith of Mr. Low and\nProfessor Jenks, the most active open advocates of the bill, was\nput forth. The discussion disclosed the fact, however, that the\nSherman Act, as it stands at present, has many friends. Organizations\ninterested in curbing the unlawful activities of labor unions insisted\nthat that law, as interpreted by the Supreme Court, is practically\nthe only protection American industry has against the boycott. Repeal\nor seriously modify it, they declared, and a regime of labor union\nterrorism far surpassing any hitherto known in any country, would\nat once begin. The plan of Mr. Gompers and his associates to shelve\nthis law, they insisted, was merely part of their general scheme to\nremove all legal restraints from the operations of labor unions.\nOpinions did not seem quite so unanimous as to the wisdom of the\nSherman Act in its bearings upon corporations. Though many declared\nthat this measure is too sweeping and drastic, and should be amended,\nno one has yet suggested any practical way of framing a new law. No\none who has studied the problem of trust regulation, it is believed,\nhas thus far hit upon a plan that, while it gives greater leeway to\nthe corporations, protects the public from arbitrarily high prices\nand other exactions. There is thus a growing conviction that the act\npassed by the great constitutional lawyers of 1890 represents the best\nattainable result in this direction. It has not stopped the growth of\ntrusts, it is true; but whether that is because it does not furnish the\nmeans or because it has not been sufficiently enforced, is the disputed\nquestion. \"What is needed,\" recently said ex-Senator Edmunds, the\nman who was the real author of the Sherman Act, \"is not so much more\nlegislation as competent and earnest administration of the laws that\nexist.\"\n\n     [J] In the Debs case the Circuit Court based its decision almost\n     entirely upon the Sherman Law. The Supreme Court of the United\n     States, in affirming this decision, rested mainly on the broader\n     question of the interference with the United States mails. Justice\n     Brewer, however, who wrote the decision, specifically said that\n     this fact did not mean that the Supreme Court dissented from the\n     grounds on which the lower tribunal had decided the case.\n\n     [K] In Justice to Mr. Low and Mr Jenks it should be said that they\n     disclaimed any intention of indorsing a bill which authorized\n     the boycott. They afterward amended the clause in question by\n     authorizing employees \"to strike for any cause not unlawful at\n     common law,\" which modification leads into many legal fogs which\n     it is hardly worth while to enter in this place.\n\n     [L] The bill provided, it is true, that the contracts might still\n     be assailed on the ground of unreasonableness. The practical\n     effect, however, it was generally conceded--virtually admitted by\n     Herbert Knox Smith--would be to give them immunity for all time.\n\n\n\n\nTHE ETERNAL FEMININE\n\nBY TEMPLE BAILEY\n\n\nIf it had been any one but Anne Beaumont!\n\n\"I don't like turning conventionalities topsy-turvy, Sophie,\" she said,\nas we went downstairs; \"I don't believe I can ever ask a man to dance\nwith me.\"\n\n\"Other women do,\" I murmured.\n\n\"My husband would never have agreed to such a thing,\" Anne stated.\n\nThat is where Anne always had the advantage of me. Although she had\nbeen a widow for five years, she still quoted the authoritative\nmasculine point of view, while I, having in my teens chosen a career\ninstead of a husband, and never having rectified my mistake, was forced\nto fall back on the unsupported feminine.\n\n\"Perhaps you'd rather sit out the dances,\" was my somewhat malicious\nway of putting it.\n\nAnne, poised like a white butterfly on the landing, turned on me a\nreproachful glance.\n\n\"No woman would rather be a wallflower,\" she affirmed.\n\n\"Of course not,\" I returned promptly, \"and I don't believe it is going\nto be very bad after the first plunge.\"\n\nAnne leaned over the stair rail and surveyed the formidable group of\nmen in the lower hall. \"It's dreadful,\" she said. Then, gathering about\nher a scarf of silver tissue, she commanded, \"You go first, Sophie,\"\nand we descended together.\n\nAt the foot of the stairs, Charlemagne Dabney met us.\n\n\"Charlie, boy,\" Anne said plaintively, \"ask me to dance with you. I\nsimply can't get used to the leap-year idea----\"\n\nAnd I, having prepared to blunder into a formal, \"May I have the\npleasure?\" was so illumined by her method that I employed it with\nsuccess--for though I lacked Anne's appealing coquetry, I challenged\nold friends, and my card was soon filled.\n\nBut Anne did not depend on old friends. She danced with the count\nfrom Hungary, the multi-millionaire from the West, the Senator from\nKentucky, and to fill up spaces she fell back on Charlemagne Dabney.\n\n\"I think it was lovely of you,\" she told him at supper, \"to open the\nhouse for the week-end and the dance. Only, it's too bad that you\ninsist on the leap-year idea for the whole time.\"\n\nAcross the table Elizabeth Ames sparkled radiantly. \"I like it. I\ndidn't dance with a single bore, and before I go home I am going to ask\nall of the men to marry me!\"\n\nAnne's face wore its most gracious expression, but I knew how she felt.\nElizabeth is eighteen and pretty. Anne is twice eighteen and pretty.\nAnd there's a difference.\n\nAnne opened her eyes very wide and said to Charlemagne, \"You see what\nyou've done? Elizabeth is going to ask you to marry her.\"\n\nCharlemagne smiled at Elizabeth. \"No such good luck. There are too many\nyoung fellows who will accept her before she gives me the chance.\"\n\nElizabeth laughed back, \"Don't be too sure that you'll escape.\"\n\nAnne's delicate eyebrows were raised. \"Of course she is joking; no\nwoman would really ask a man----\"\n\nCharlemagne sighed. \"I wish one woman would.\"\n\nAnne's lashes fluttered. \"Why don't you ask her?\" she challenged.\n\nHe shrugged his shoulders. \"I feel weak in the knees when I think of\nit,\" he said, \"for fear she might say 'no'.\"\n\n\"Faint heart,\" I murmured, but no one paid any attention to me.\n\nIt seemed to me, after that, as if some of the brightness had gone\nout of Elizabeth's face. But Anne fairly scintillated. And she was\nexceedingly amiable to Elizabeth.\n\n\"Ask the count first,\" I heard her say, \"he's simply charming.\"\n\nElizabeth flung up her head in a quick way. She was all in sheer pale\nyellow, bordered with daffodils, and there was a twist of gold ribbon\nin her fair hair. Only extreme youth could have worn it, and, as she\nflashed her answer back to Anne, I had never seen her more beautiful.\n\n\"The count wouldn't have me as a precious gift,\" she said. \"I'm too\ncrude. He likes a more finished product--like you, dear Mrs. Beaumont.\"\n\n\"Now, what do you suppose she meant by that?\" said Anne that night,\nwhen we were in our kimonos and were comforting our complexions with\ncold cream. \"Do you think she meant it for a compliment, or was it a\nreflection on my age?\"\n\n\"No one can reflect on your age,\" I told her. \"Nobody knows it but\nCharlemagne and me, and we won't tell.\"\n\n\"That's the advantage of living on the other side and coming back to\nmeet the younger generation,\" said Anne; \"they haven't kept tab on the\nyears.\"\n\nShe got up and moved restlessly about the room. With the cream on her\nface and with her hair down, she looked old, and I had a vision of\nElizabeth in the yellow gown.\n\nPerhaps something of my thought showed, for Anne stopped suddenly and\ngazed into a long mirror set in the door. \"Oh, youth, youth, Sophie,\"\nshe cried.\n\n\"Anne,\" I said, \"come away from that mirror. No one can be beautiful\nwith her face full of cold cream.\"\n\nShe laughed and dropped down on the rug in front of me, and after a\nwhile she said, \"Did you hear what he said to-night?\"\n\n\"About wishing a certain woman would ask him?\"\n\n\"Yes. He will never ask me, Sophie. He thinks I am still mourning my\nhusband--he thinks I don't care----\"\n\nThere wasn't much to be said after that. But before I left her, I\nwhispered, \"Why don't you tell him, Anne?\"\n\nAnne's shocked eyes condemned me. \"Oh, Sophie, as if a woman _could_!\"\n\nI passed Elizabeth Ames' room on my way to my own, and she called to\nme, \"Come in, Miss Sophie.\"\n\n\"It's so late,\" I protested, standing on the threshold.\n\nBut she was insistent. \"Please come,\" she begged.\n\n\"You ought to be in bed,\" I scolded, \"getting your beauty sleep.\"\n\nBut even as I said it, I knew she didn't need it, for she was as\ndaintily fresh as a rose. Her fair hair hung down in two heavy braids\nover her white gown. She looked like a lovely child.\n\n\"Miss Sophie,\" she said abruptly, when she had put me into a big chair\nin front of the fire, \"tell me about Anne Beaumont and Mr. Dabney----\"\n\n\"What about them?\" I asked innocently.\n\n\"Were they in love with each other--years ago--before she married Mr.\nBeaumont?\"\n\nI nodded. \"They were engaged, and Anne was very young. She had never\nseen much of other men, and when Mr. Beaumont came along, with his\nair of foreign distinction, she was fascinated and broke off her\nengagement. But she never really cared for Mr. Beaumont----\"\n\n\"And you think Mr. Dabney has--has stayed single for her sake?\"\n\n\"I think so. Yes.\"\n\n\"And you think he loves her still----?\"\n\n\"You heard what he said to-night?\"\n\n\"I don't call that love,\" she cried. \"If he cared, he'd tell her. He\ncouldn't help it. It would just come--if he really loved her----\"\n\n\"He thinks that she has never cared--and he isn't an impetuous boy----\"\n\n\"I know--but he's a _man_.\" She was all aglow. \"And if he cared, his\nheart would say, 'I love you, I love you, I love you,' and then his\nlips would say it----\"\n\n\"You believe, then, that he doesn't care for her?\"\n\n\"His allegiance is a memory--an old dream--of the girl she was, not of\nthe woman she is. Isn't she older than he, Miss Sophie?\"\n\n\"She is younger,\" I said gravely.\n\n\"She seems older--and--it's spoiling his life. He--he won't look at\nanother woman--because in a way he feels bound to her. Some day I'm\ngoing to tell him.\"\n\nI stared at her. \"Tell him what, Elizabeth?\"\n\n\"That he is throwing away his happiness--that there are other women.\"\n\nShe had risen and stood in front of me with her hand on her heart. Her\neyes were like stars, and the radiance of youth shone from within and\nround about her. If Charlemagne should see her in such a mood----\n\nI thought of Anne, dear Anne.\n\n\"Elizabeth,\" I said sharply, \"if you should tell him that, he would\nthink--that you--cared.\"\n\nShe swept out her arms in a charming gesture of surrender.\n\n\"Well, if he did,\" she cried, defiantly, \"what then?\"\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nAll that night Elizabeth and Anne contended in my dreams, and in the\nmorning, worn to a frazzle, I went down to breakfast, to find that\nElizabeth had gone for a ride with Charlemagne, and that Anne was still\nin bed.\n\nI drifted into the library and found there a circle of somewhat\nfagged-out feminines. The men were riding or on the links.\n\nFrom the light bits of conversation that were wafted to me as I sat\nand read in the window-seat, I gathered that most of the women took\nCharlemagne's leap-year idea as a joke, but I knew that to Elizabeth\nand Anne the question presented itself seriously, and that each would\nsettle it in her own way, and according to the tradition of her own\ntime.\n\nFor that education and environment had made the difference, I did not\ndoubt. Had Elizabeth been born eighteen years earlier, when women were\ntaught the mysteries of advance and retreat, that coquetry was their\nbest weapon, and that man must always be the wooer, she might have felt\nall of Anne's shrinking from a revelation of herself; whereas had Anne\nbeen brought up in the later days when boys and girls mingle in close\ncomradeship, when plays and books subtly analyze the state of woman as\nthe pursuer and man as the pursued, she might have been as frank about\nher feelings as Elizabeth.\n\nHence, I argued, they were both of them what their generation had made\nthem, and I, who loved Anne, and adored her for her womanliness, was\nyet forced to admit the potency of Elizabeth's youth, and the charm of\nher complete surrender.\n\nAfter a time the men began to drift in, and I heard the\nmulti-millionaire from the West inquiring for Elizabeth. He was a big,\nbroad-shouldered fellow, sure of himself, but not unpleasantly so, and\nwhen he couldn't find the girl he wanted, he came over and talked to me.\n\n\"Say,\" he began at once, \"it's all tommyrot about this leap-year\nbusiness. When I want a girl to do anything, I want to ask her. It\nmakes me feel foolish to have to wait for her to come to me. I wish\nDabney would cut it out.\"\n\n\"But think what an opportunity for a girl to get what _she_ wants,\" I\nsaid.\n\n\"They don't know what they want,\" he stated dogmatically. \"The way to\nwin a woman is to pick her up and put her on a horse and run away with\nher----\"\n\n\"Suppose she doesn't care to be run away with?\" I asked.\n\n\"Oh, she'd settle down to it,\" he said securely; \"and besides that, I\ncan't really imagine a nice girl asking a man to marry her.\"\n\nI thought of Elizabeth as she had stood with her hand on her heart and\nhad hurled defiance at conventions.\n\n\"Girls are hard to understand,\" I murmured.\n\n\"Oh, I don't know,\" he contended. \"If a man gets right down to\nprimitive principles and keeps after her, he'll get her--and it makes\nme hot to think I am wasting valuable time trying to stick to Dabney's\nold rules, when I have to go back West again on Monday.\"\n\nI wanted to be sure, so I murmured, \"Of course it's Elizabeth Ames?\"\n\n\"Who else?\" he demanded. \"Oh, I'm going to jump over the traces, Miss\nSophie, and let her know I mean business. This thing of sitting around\nand letting her go off with another man--you know she's riding with\nDabney this morning?\"\n\nI nodded.\n\n\"He's twice her age, and she _thinks_ she likes him. Girls get romantic\nstreaks, and Dabney's the kind they put up on a pedestal, but he isn't\nany more suited to her than--a bunch of beets----\"\n\n\"I suppose not,\" was all the response I dared venture in the face of\nsuch an outpouring of eloquence.\n\n\"They are coming now,\" he said, and through the window I saw\nthem--Elizabeth, looking like a little girl in her three-cornered hat,\nwith her hair tied with a broad black ribbon, and Charlemagne sitting\nhis horse like a centaur.\n\nThe Westerner deserted me at once, and, the rest of the guests\nfollowing, I was left alone in the library.\n\nI curled up in the window-seat, drew the curtains to shield me from the\ngaze of those who might step within, and tried to take forty winks to\nmake up for the four hundred I had missed the night before.\n\nBut I couldn't sleep. Elizabeth and Anne--Anne and Elizabeth! I\ncouldn't get their affairs out of my mind. Would Elizabeth propose,\nwould Anne, would Charlemagne, would the multi-millionaire? Again and\nagain I tried to fit together their widely different theories, until in\ndespair I wished that Charlemagne and his leap-year week-end had not\ntempted me from my maidenly apartment in town, where the worries of\nlovers were confined to my manuscripts.\n\nAnd even as I pondered, I heard Elizabeth's voice saying, as she came\nin from the porch, \"I suppose you think I am awfully forward to make\nyou spend all your morning with me----\"\n\nAs he followed her into the library, Charlemagne laughed. \"I might\nfeel flattered,\" he said, \"if I didn't know you were doing it to make\nMcChesney furious.\"\n\nMcChesney was the multi-millionaire.\n\n\"McChesney?\" Elizabeth's tone was startled.\n\n\"Don't hedge,\" Charlemagne teased. \"He's bound to win out, Elizabeth.\nNo woman can escape a man when he goes for her like that. You might as\nwell give in.\"\n\n\"I shall never give in.\"\n\n\"He's a nice fellow.\"\n\n\"He's not my ideal----\" there was a pathetic note of appeal in her\nyoung voice.\n\n\"Ah--ideals----\" Charlemagne had dropped his banter. \"Don't spoil your\nhappiness looking for the ideal man--he's like the pot of gold at the\nend of the rainbow--something we hear of, but have never seen.\"\n\nThere was a heavy silence. Then Elizabeth said, catching her breath,\n\"But--but I have found my ideal, Mr. Dabney.\"\n\n\"You have? And it's not McChesney?\"\n\nI peeped at them through the curtain. They were in big wicker chairs\nin front of the door that led to the porch. Elizabeth had taken off\nher coat, showing her thin white blouse with its crisp frills. Her\ncheeks were as pink as the rose which she picked to pieces with nervous\nfingers.\n\n\"No,\" she said tremulously, \"it's--it's not Mr. McChesney.\"\n\nI held my breath. Would she dare?\n\n\"It's--it's a man much older than I am,\" she went on, \"and--and I don't\nknow that he has ever thought of me--in that way--perhaps if he had, he\nmight like me--a little----\"\n\nI am sure that Charlemagne felt the charm of her youth, as she made\nher little confession, and I am just as sure that he was absolutely\ninnocent that he was the object of it.\n\n\"He would undoubtedly love you more than a little,\" he said heartily.\n\"Look here, Elizabeth, you won't mind telling me who he is--will\nyou----?\"\n\nHere was an opportunity holding out open arms, and did Elizabeth\nembrace it as beseemed an advocate of woman's right to woo?\n\nNot she! She simply gasped in a panic-stricken way and stood up.\n\n\"Oh, _no_,\" she whispered, with her cheeks flaming, \"I couldn't--I\ncouldn't tell any one.\"\n\nBefore Charlemagne could answer, McChesney blundered in.\n\n\"Say----\" he stopped dead still on the threshold, \"I think this is a\ncase of monopoly. I'm tired of hanging around waiting for the girl I\nwant. I am going to break the rules, Dabney, and ask Miss Ames to take\nme for a walk in the rose garden.\"\n\nAnd Elizabeth actually turned to him with an air of relief.\n\n\"Oh, yes,\" she said breathlessly, \"I'd love it!\"\n\nAnd away they went. And Charlemagne, turning back into the library, met\nAnne Beaumont coming in at the other door.\n\nShe wore a thin, trailing white gown, and there were dark shadows under\nher eyes. She looked tired and fragile and every day of her thirty-six\nyears.\n\n\"Anne!\" Charlemagne said, as if for him all the morning stars sang\ntogether.\n\nAnne dropped into the chair where Elizabeth had been.\n\n\"I'm afraid I'm awfully late getting down,\" she faltered, \"but--but my\nhead ached.\"\n\nCharlemagne stood behind her chair, and there was a look on his face\nthat, for the first time, made me ashamed of my eavesdropping. The\nother had been comedy, but this was real.\n\n\"Poor little Anne,\" he said.\n\nAnne propped her chin on her hand and gazed out through the open door\nwith wide eyes.\n\n\"Yes,\" she said slowly, \"poor little Anne.\"\n\nHe came around and took the other chair. \"I wish--I knew how I might\ncomfort you,\" he said.\n\nFor a moment Anne looked at him with that wide stare, then, like a\nflash, it came. \"Oh, Charlie, Charlie boy,\" she cried, \"why don't you\nask me to marry you--I can't ask you, you know----\"\n\nBefore she had finished, he was on his knees beside her, and then I\nshut my eyes and put my fingers in my ears, for the time had come when\nI had no right to hear or see.\n\nBut as for theories--Oh, who knows _what_ a woman will do? There was\nElizabeth and there was Anne----\n\nBut I never would have believed it of Anne!\n\n  [Illustration]\n\n\n\n\nTHE MOTHER OF ANGELA ANN\n\nBY CLARA E. LAUGHLIN\n\nILLUSTRATIONS BY ALICE BARBER STEPHENS\n\n\nI\n\nHenry Street, drowned in November murk, was black as Tartarus and\na shade more dreadful, as a heavily built man stumbled along its\nunfamiliar bumps and intermittent stretches of sidewalk, stopping now\nand then to peer vainly at doors for a number. Presently he encountered\na wisp of a girl with a jacket thrown about her head and shoulders.\n\n\"Where's twenty-one?\" he asked.\n\nShe pointed. \"Who d'ye want?\"\n\n\"Casey.\"\n\n\"In the rear--I'll show ye,\" and she led the way to a precipitous\nflight of steps. \"Ye go down, an' 'long 's far 's ye kin, thin turn t'\nth' right an' knock,\" she said, and disappeared in the mist.\n\nGroping his way, the man reached the end of a long passage between two\ntenements and knocked at a rear door. A woman opened it.\n\n\"Th' ditictive,\" she murmured, and let him in.\n\nThe kitchen was stifling close; a fire raged to the brim of the big,\nheavily nickeled stove which had cost the Caseys so dear in instalments\nand in worry. Casey had been working for two weeks, and the bin outside\nthe kitchen door had a ton of soft coal in it. In a bracket above the\nsink was a lamp whose tin reflector, instead of diffusing the light\nrays, seemed to concentrate them, like a feeble searchlight, so that\nthe corners of the kitchen were all in gloom, and half-lost in gloom\nwere the forms of the Caseys, whose pallid faces showed sharply against\nthe dusk.\n\n\"Had any word?\" said the detective, addressing Mrs. Casey. To the\nrelief of the parents and the bitter disappointment of the children, he\nwas a plain-clothes man.\n\n\"Niver a worrd.\"\n\nThe detective consulted a memorandum.\n\n\"You say she left home Monday morning, just as usual, to go to work?\"\n\n\"Yissir; she wint down th' alley here hummin' a chune an' as gay as a\nburrd.\"\n\n\"And you don't think she intended to stay away?\"\n\nMary Casey's eyes flashed. \"If I t'ought a gyurl o' mine could walk out\nan' l'ave me, intintional, wid a chune on her lyin' lips, I'd not ask\nye t' be findin' her,\" she said.\n\n\"Did she have a beau?\"\n\n\"None thot I iver see. She used t' be after talkin', sometoimes, 'bout\ngran' fellies she'd see downtown, an' I always sez to her, 'You mark\nme worrds an' l'ave gran' fellies be. They don't mane no good t' th'\nloikes o' you,' I sez. 'Thim fellies spinds ivry cint they git on their\ngold watches an' swallie-tails, an' whin they marry they got t' marry\na gyurl wid money t' support thim. Whin yer old enough t' take up wid\nanny wan,' I sez, 'yer pa or yer Uncle Tim'll introjuce ye t' some nice\nyoung lab'rin' man wid a good trade an' ambition t' git on, an' you\nwork fer him whoile he works fer you.' 'Ah, ye don' know nothin' 'bout\nit,' she'd say t' me, an' 'Don't you belave thot,' I'd say t' her, 'I'm\nnothin' t' look at, an' I ain't got mooch style about me, but I got\nsome knowlidge o' min,' I sez, 'an' they're a bad lot, aven th' bist o'\nthim. An' you git it out o' yer hid,' I sez, 'thot anny gran' felly's\ngoin' t' marry you, or th' loikes o' you. Ye may rade such foolishness\nin yer story paapers er see it at yer theayters, but ye kin mark me\nworrds thot love is fer tony folks thot kin afford it, an' not fer th'\nloikes o' you an' me.'\"\n\nUp to this time Casey had been conspicuously quiet. He had had his own\nexperiences with the Chicago police, who more than once had ordered\nhim to keep away from his abused family or go to the Bridewell. This\nwas buried deep in the voluminous records of the desk sergeant; but\nCasey had not the comfort of knowing that there were a thousand kindred\ncases piled a-top of his, so he kept discreetly in the shadow until\nthe detective asked, \"Was she gay at all?\" and Mrs. Casey replied:\n\n\"She be a little granehorn, wid no sinse yet. I'm after taalkin' t' her\nth' whole, blissed toime 'bout kapin' straight, an' not l'avin' her go\nby dances er stay out nights, but I dunno--ye can't kape thim in yer\npocket, an' whin a gyurl have her livin' t' earn anny place she kin\nfoind it, 't ain't her mother thot know fer sure wheer she is or what\nshe be.\"\n\nAt this Casey sat suddenly forward in his chair, and the streak of\nlight fell full across his face, swollen with tears and streaked with\nthe grime of three awful days. Despite the grime, however, despite the\nstubble of reddish beard, the unkempt hair and untidy clothes, there\nwas something singularly pathetic about him, with his great, Irish-blue\neyes and youthful, innocent-looking face. He had not been drinking for\nsome weeks, and he wore no air of sottishness, nor of vagrancy, nor of\nany of his other crimes against self and family and society.\n\n\"I dunno what I ever done,\" he had moaned for three days, rocking back\nand forth in his misery, the tears raining down his unwashed cheeks and\nsplashing from his stubbly chin, \"I dunno what I ever done that this\nthing should 'a' happened t' me! My gyurl! My Ang'la Ann!\"\n\n\"She were a good gyurl,\" he said to the detective, sitting suddenly\nforward.\n\n\"So far 's we know, she were,\" his wife amended, \"but she had no sinse\nyet, bein' so young, an' th' young niver belaves th' old. I don' see\nhow a gyurl o' mine could go wrong, an' me hatin' it th' way I do. But\nshe have more o' him in her nor o' me, down t' thim same shifty blue\neyes thot kin look so swate, an' God knows what divilment's behint\nthim!\"\n\nCasey smiled in wan coquetry at this charge against his fascinations,\nbut reiterated in defense of his daughter:\n\n\"She were a good gyurl. I seen a piece o' this world, of'cer, an' I kin\ntill--min like us, we kin till gyurls that's merely flightsome from\nthim that's gon' t' th' bad. If she's bad, I don' want ye t' find her.\nJes' show me th' felly thot lied t' her, an' I'll kill him--but I don'\nwant ye t' find her; I don' niver want t' set eyes on her ag'in, if\nshe've brought disgrace on me.\"\n\n\"Ye won't lit it git in th' paapers, will ye?\" Mary Casey pleaded\nfor the twentieth time in her brief communications with the police.\n\"Yell kape thim aff av her, won't ye--fer th' love o' Hiven? I'm after\ntellin' th' childern I'll kill th' first wan o' thim thot breathes t'\na soul we don' know wheer Ang'la Ann is. Ag'in' she be all right an'\ncome home some day, it'd go hard wid her if these Sheenies 'round here\nknew she was gon'--people do belave th' worst of a gyurl, always. I\ndunno what t' think o' my Ang'la Ann, but I don' want it to go haard\nwid her if she don' desarve it.\"\n\nThe detective promised about the papers and went his way. A missing\ngirl, with no probable complications of a horrible murder, excited\nonly the feeblest interest at Maxwell Street, and this visit would\ncomprehend the whole of the police activity expended in the case unless\nAngela Ann should happen to turn up under their incurious noses.\n\nThe facts of the case were these: Angela Ann Casey, a slim,\nunder-sized, pretty young thing just under eighteen, had left home\non Monday morning, November 7th, apparently to go to work, and had\nnot been seen since by her family or any one they knew. She was an\nunskilled worker, a bit of flotsam in the industrial whirlpool so cruel\nto her kind. In the summer she had worked for a few weeks in a cannery,\npasting labels on fruit cans. When the cannery shut down, she answered\nan \"ad\" for extra help in the rush season of a cap factory, which laid\nher off when work slackened. And after a fortnight's idleness she was\ntaken on as a bundle-wrapper in a cheap department store, where she met\na girl who told her of a place needing more girls for the manufacture\nof cheap finery for the \"levee\" trade. Angela Ann applied, and was\ngiven work at a knife-pleating machine, at four dollars and a half a\nweek. She was in this job, to the best of her mother's belief, when\nshe disappeared; but a visit to the place on Tuesday laid bare the\nstartling fact that she had \"give notice\" on Saturday night.\n\nAngela Ann had few intimates; her associates changed with her changes\nof occupation, and these were so many that she took root nowhere. A\ngirl on Blue Island Avenue, to whose house Angela Ann sometimes went,\ncalled at Henry Street Tuesday evening and was told that Angela was out.\n\n\"She's tellin' me she have a gran' fella,\" said the girl questioningly.\n\n\"She have,\" lied Mary promptly, \"did she iver tell ye his name?\"\n\nNo, she hadn't; so Mary said maybe Angela Ann wouldn't want her to tell\nit either.\n\nMary's sister, Maggie O'Connor, who was married to a \"will-t'-do\"\nblacksmith and lived but a few blocks away, had also heard of a stylish\nyoung man who could not be asked to the back cellar on Henry Street, or\neven allowed to suspect it. In family council Mrs. O'Connor testified\nthat she had offered her own \"parlie\" for the courting.\n\n\"'Bring him here an' l'ave us have a look at him,' I sez to her. 'Ye\nkin have th' parlie anny toime ye want it,' I sez, 'an' if yer 'shamed\no' yer Uncle Tim's brogue, he kin stay in th' shop, an' I'll talk t'\nhim mesilf,' I sez.\"\n\nBut Angela Ann had not accepted this handsome offer, nor had she\nconfided the name of the young man to Mrs. O'Connor, who only knew that\nAngela Ann had assured her he was a gentleman beyond a doubt, for he\nhad a gold watch and chain.\n\nFired by this information, which he considered an important clue,\nCasey was for carrying it at once to the police so that they might\ninvestigate all young men wearing gold watches and thereby in due\nprocess find the one who knew Angela Ann. But before he could get\naway to furnish the detectives with this important information, Mrs.\nO'Connor had made some further suggestions. The chief of these was\ntouching the advisability of consulting a fortune-teller.\n\n\"Thim coppers,\" she opined, \"is no good. Tim's after radin' a lot about\nthim in th' paapers, an' he sez they niver ketch nothin' 't all. He\nsint ye a dollar wid me and sez he, 'You till thim t' stop foolin' wid\ncoppers an' go t' th' forchune-teller,' sez he.\"\n\n\"I belave it have more t' do wid what th' forchune-teller know than\nwid what thim coppers kin foind out,\" reflected Mary Casey. It was the\nmorning after the detective's visit, and Mrs. O'Connor had come over\nto ask the news. \"Theer's somet'ing I didn't till th' ditictive,\" Mary\nconfessed, \"not knowin' how he'd take it--but the day befoore Ang'la\nAnn wint, a quare, wan-eyed cat kem here. Ivrywheer I wint thot day she\ntraipsed at me heels, an' all Monday noight whin I was up watchin' fer\nAng'la, th' cat was on th' windie-sill, howlin' what sounded joost like\nAan-gla, Aan-gla, Aan-gla. Now what d'ye make o' thot?\"\n\nMrs. O'Connor had been fumbling in her plush wrist-bag during this\nrecital. \"Say,\" she said presently, holding out a very dirty card, \"th'\nlas' noight Ang'la Ann was t' our house she was after l'avin' th' baby\nplay wid her purse, an' th' baby spilt all th' t'ings out av it. We\npicked thim up, an' I t'ought we got thim all, but whin I was clanein'\nyiste'day, I foun' this card. It mus' be hers, fer Tim say he niver see\nit, an' no more did I.\"\n\nThe card read:\n\n  [Illustration: O. HALBERG,\n\n  _Dramatic Agent--West Madison Street_.]\n\n\"That's him, I bet ye!\" cried Casey excitedly, \"that's th' felly wid\nth' gol' watch an' chain!\"\n\n\"Wait a minute!\" commanded Mrs. O'Connor impatiently, \"Tim sez thot\nhave somet'ing t' do wid a theayter.\"\n\n\"Sure,\" said Mary Casey, \"Ang'la Ann wouldn't be so grane as t' ixpict\nno theayter guy t' marry her! She'd ought t' know thim niver marries;\nor if they do, they have a woife in ivery town, loike soldiers an'\ntravelin'-min! I niver bin to no theayter in my loife, but I know that\nmooch!\"\n\nCasey, who had lost his job by default, and had sat apathetically by\nthe stove ever since gray morning dawned after the frantic vigil of\nMonday night, was struggling with the lacings of his shoes preparatory\nto setting forth to demolish O. Halberg if he proved his guilt by\nwearing a gold watch and chain.\n\n\"Ye kin spend yer dollar on yer wan-eyed cat,\" he said indulgently,\n\"but as fer me, I got t' foind thot felly thot lied t' me gyurl.\"\n\nSo the inaction of the past three days was over, temporarily at least.\nCasey was bound for O. Halberg's and Mrs. Casey and Mrs. O'Connor were\ngoing to approach some fortune-teller with the dollar and the tale of\nthe cat. But first of all Mary must go to the school and take Johnny\nout to mind Dewey and the baby in her absence.\n\n\"Now you be keerful,\" she adjured Casey as he made ready to go, \"an'\ndon' kill nobody be mistaake. Th' bist way is t' kill nobody at all,\"\nshe continued cautiously.\n\nIn spite of this caution, however, there would have been danger in\nprospect if Casey had owned a gun or if he had taken a few drinks. As\nit was, he was not a formidable figure when he presented himself at the\nnumber on West Madison Street, a few doors from Halsted.\n\nThere was a pawnshop on the first floor, and beside it a narrow door,\nwhich opened upon a long flight of wooden stairs rising steeply to a\ndark hall, where, by the light of a two-foot gas burner, Casey could\nmake out the name \"O. Halberg\" on one of the dozen doors. The name was\npainted on a black tin plate tacked to a rear door. Casey knocked.\n\n\"Come in,\" said a guttural voice.\n\nEntering, Casey saw a man sitting with his feet on a battered desk;\nhe was reading the morning paper and smoking a vile cigar. The\nwalls, calcimined a kind of ultramarine blue, but grimed and fouled\nunspeakably, were hung with theatrical lithographs depicting thrilling\nscenes from plays on the blood-and-thunder circuit. For the rest, the\nfurnishings were two wooden chairs, a giant cuspidor, and the desk,\nwhich looked as if it had never been new.\n\n\"Have I,\" said Casey in his grandest manner, \"th' honor t' addriss Mr.\nO. Halberg?\"\n\nO. Halberg grunted that he had. Then Casey advanced a step further\ninto the room and looked about for a sight or trace of Angela Ann.\nNothing could have been more damning than O. Halberg's gold chain, but\nin no likelihood would Angela Ann, by any stretch of courtesy, have\ncalled him young; he was probably fifty, and not prepossessing from any\npossible point of view.\n\n\"Me name is Casey,\" ventured the visitor, \"me gyurl is lost, an' I'm\nlookin' fer her. We found this,\" proffering the dirty card, \"an' we\nt'ought mebbe you'd know wheer she is.\"\n\nCasey was proud of the neatness and despatch of his \"ditictive\"\nmethods, but more than a little disappointed to find so soon that he\nwas on the wrong trail entirely. Mr. Halberg was truly surprised to be\napproached with any such query. A great many little silly, stage-struck\ngirls flocked to see him, of course, and no doubt some of them got\nhold of his cards \"in the hope of using them to impress managers,\" but\nhe had no recollection of any girl named Casey--none whatever. And he\nresumed the reading of his paper.\n\n\"I got th' coppers after her,\" murmured Casey apologetically, as he\ntook his leave, \"but thim coppers is no good. Ag'in' ye want ditictive\nwork done, ye better do it yersilf.\"\n\nO. Halberg did not deign to reply, but when Casey was safely outside he\nstepped to the door and locked it. In case the \"coppers\" came around,\nit would be just as well to be \"out\"--it would save the coppers some\ntroublesome pretense.\n\nIn his descent of the steep stairs Casey met two girls coming up. They\nwere about Angela Ann's age and were giggling nervously. One of them\nheld between thumb and finger a quarter-inch \"ad\" from a morning paper,\noffering:\n\n\"High-salaried positions in good road companies to young ladies of\npleasing appearance. O. Halberg, Dramatic Agent--West Madison Street.\"\n\n\"Ask him if this is the place,\" said the girl who appeared to be\nfollowing the other's lead. Casey directed them to O. Halberg's door,\nthen went on his way. A moment later, while he stood on the corner of\nHalsted Street waiting for a south-bound car, he saw the girls emerge\nfrom the door by the pawnshop. They passed him as they went to take an\neast-bound Madison Street car on the opposite corner.\n\n\"Did ye foind him?\" Casey asked.\n\n\"No, he wasn't in.\"\n\n\"That's quare,\" he said, startled, \"he was there wan minute before.\"\n\nOn his way home Casey dropped in at the Maxwell Street Station in a\nfree-and-easy manner he would not have dreamed possible two days ago.\nHe was so full of his \"ditictive\" experience that he felt he must have\nsome one, if only a copper, to talk it over with. The detective who had\ncalled the night before wasn't in, so Casey related his recent daring\nexploit to no less a personage than the desk sergeant himself.\n\nIt was well poor Casey could not hear the desk sergeant's account of\nthe call after the self-appointed sleuth had gone on his way.\n\nMrs. Casey was at home when her husband got there. Relating her\nadventures, after she had listened to his, she said that the\nfortune-teller, after accepting the dollar, had asked several searching\nquestions about the one-eyed cat.\n\n\"'Ag'in' th' cat come back, yer gyurl 'll come home,' she sez t' me.\"\n\n\nII\n\nThe days dragged by. There seemed to be a complete lapse of the\nstone-cutting industry, so Casey had nothing to take his mind from\nhis \"ditictive\" operations, which were interesting and unexhausting,\nthough expensive in car-fare and unproductive of results. Angela Ann's\nweekly wage, for many years the main dependence of the family, being\nlost to them, they were closer even than was their wont to starvation\nand eviction; and winter was beginning to snarl around their warped,\nill-fitting doors.\n\nAs time wore on, the poignant horror of Angela Ann's absence grew\nmercifully less for all but Mary Casey. Night after night she wept the\nlong hours through, until Casey complained of the depressing effect of\nher grief, and she felt constrained to hide it.\n\n\"If I could on'y know she were dacintly dead,\" was her heart's cry, as\nbetter hopes died in her, \"Ag'in' a bye l'ave home, he kin knock around\nan' pick up a bite here an' a lodgin' theer, an' be none th' worse fer\nit. But a gyurl bees diff'runt! Theer's always thim watchin' 'round\nthot's riddy t' do her harm.\"\n\nMeanwhile she lied bravely to the neighbors. \"Angela Ann bees livin'\nout an' have th' graandes' plaace,\" she told them impressively; \"th'\nlady she live wid 's after takin' her to Floridy fer to mind her little\nbye.\"\n\nMary's hope was strong that Christmas would see the wanderer's return,\nbut the holidays passed in unrewarded waiting. Casey had perforce\nabandoned his search, and worked a day or two now and then. Though the\ntraces of really terrible suffering were still in his weak, winsome\nface, he had long since forsaken all hope of Angela Ann's \"safety with\nhonor,\" and, when it had come to seem unlikely that she ever would do\nso, took comfort in vowing that she should never again darken the door\nof his outraged home.\n\nMary gave over pleading for her girl, in the interests of family peace,\nbut, more and more like a specter as the weeks wore away, she haunted\nlocalities where Angela Ann had been or might be. Sometimes she had\nthe baby in her arms, but oftener she left it with Dewey at their Aunt\nMaggie's, and roamed the streets unhampered in her never-ending quest.\n\nEvenings she would say, \"I'll be goin' t' yer aunt's a bit,\" and\nslip away into the engulfing dark, to reappear in the glare of light\nmarking the entrance to some cheap West Side theater or dance hall.\nGradually her excursions extended downtown, where she would take up her\nstation at the door of some place of amusement and stand watching the\npleasure-seekers pour in, then turn away and wander aimlessly up and\ndown the streets for an hour or so before facing homeward. In some way\nshe heard about stage doors, and took to haunting them. She saw many\ngirls of Angela's type, and wondered sadly if their mothers knew where\nthey were, but her own girl was not among them. In those nights on the\nflaming streets she learned more about vice than she had ever dreamed\nof in all her life, and the world came to seem to her a vast trap set\nby the bestial for the unwary.\n\nNot hunger, nor cold, nor abuse, nor sickness, nor death, as it came\nto five of her children, had driven Mary Casey to anything like the\npoignancy of feeling that was hers now. Heretofore she had been\npatiently dumb under affliction; now her spirit cried out in a passion\nof pain that called straight upon Almighty God for an answer to its\nanguished questionings.\n\nWith the aid of Casey, who was a \"scollard,\" and could \"r'ade 'n'\nwrite joost as aisy,\" she pored over the sensational papers in search\nof stories about girls in trouble, and never a horror happened to an\nunidentified girl anywhere but Mary was sure it was Angela Ann.\n\nOnce there was an account of an unknown young woman found dead on\nthe prairies near Dunning, the county institution. It was Johnnie\nwho laboriously spelled out this story for her--Casey having gone to\nthat club of congenial spirits, O'Shaughannessy's saloon--and at ten\no'clock, when the children were all abed, her anxieties could brook\nno more delay. Throwing a shawl about her head and shoulders, she\nstole along the pitchy passageway, up the long flight of steps to the\nsidewalk, clutching the torn fragment of newspaper in the hand that\nheld the shawl together beneath her chin.\n\nIt was Saturday night, and the avenue was still brightly lighted. One\nor two acquaintances greeted her, but she hurried by with only a nod\nand a word. At Harrison and Halsted and Blue Island Avenue, where three\nstreams of ceaseless activity converge, there is always a whirlpool\nrapids of traffic and humanity, and here, in a brilliant drug store,\nMary felt far enough from her own haunts and all who knew her and\nAngela Ann to venture on her errand.\n\n\"I want t' tillyphome,\" she whispered to the clerk, who pointed\nimpatiently to the booth.\n\n\"I dunno how,\" said Mary imploringly. \"I want ye t' do it fer me. R'ade\nthat.\" She thrust the dirty, crumpled fragment of the evening's yellow\njournal into his hand.\n\nThe young man glanced at it, and then curiously at her. \"I've read it,\"\nhe said.\n\n\"Down here, somewheers,\" said Mary, pointing vaguely towards the last\nparagraph, \"it till wheer she be, an' I want ye t' tillyphome that\nplace an' ask thim have she a laarge brown mole on her lift side. If\nshe have, I'm goin' out theer this night, fer 'tis my gyurl I t'ink she\nbe.\"\n\nThis was not as startling an episode to the young man addressed as it\nmight have been to one in a quieter locality. Nevertheless, it smacked\nof the dramatic sufficiently to interest him, and when Mary proffered\nher nickel he called up the Dunning morgue.\n\nAfter what seemed an interminable wait, while the sleepy morgue\nattendant at the county poor-house was being summoned by repeated\nrings, and the brief colloquy was in progress, the clerk emerged from\nthe booth.\n\n\"The girl has been identified this evening,\" he said.\n\nDisappointment mingled with relief in Mary's countenance: she had\nreached that stage where it would have been not altogether unendurable\nto look at Angela Ann's dead face, even in a morgue.\n\nAs she retraced her way home, the chill of the sharp February night\nstruck into her mercilessly. When she set forth, she had scarcely\nnoticed in it her preoccupation; but now that another expectation,\nhowever tragic, had proved false, and the situation stretched ahead\nof her indefinitely dull and despairing again, the abrupt relaxation\nleft her physically as well as mentally \"let down,\" and she shivered\nviolently as she hurried along.\n\n\"Mother o' God,\" she cried, the tears rolling swiftly down her shrunken\ncheeks, \"wheer is my gyurl this noight? If I could on'y know she had a\nroof over her head an' a fire t' kape her warrm!\"\n\nCasey was still out when she got back, and she was thankful, for the\nsight of her tears made him ugly these days. \"She've disgraaced us,\"\nhe said of Angela Ann, \"an' she be dead t' me, an' ought t' be t' you,\nif ye had proper shame.\"\n\nMary could give herself up to the luxury of grief, therefore, and\nshe did, until she fell asleep. The next morning she was up betimes,\nmeaning to go to early mass in the basement of the church before\n\"drissy folks\" were abroad in their Sunday finery. For more than one\nreason Mary avoided the later masses; her rags were small shame to her\ncompared with the more than half-suspicious inquiries of acquaintances\nas to the whereabouts of Angela Ann.\n\n\"'Tis more lies I'm after tellin',\" thought poor Mary, \"than th' praste\nkin iver take aft o' me. 'N' ag'in' I do pinance enough t' kape me\nbusy half me time, an' go t' git me holy c'munion, I'm not out o' th'\nprisence o' th' blissed Sacrament befoore I'm havin' t' lie ag'in t'\nsave that poor, silly gyurl's name!\"\n\nThis morning, however, in spite of her early rising and her efforts to\nget to seven o'clock mass, events conspired to thwart her intentions.\nMollie woke up with a headache, and Johnnie had to be despatched on a\nvinegar-borrowing expedition, so that the time-honored application of\nbrown paper soaked in vinegar might be made to the poor little head.\nThe baby cried lustily, with a colicky cry, and Mary had to hasten the\nboiling of tea, that wee Annie might have a good, hot cup to soothe\nher. Casey, complaining profanely of broken slumbers, was in no mood to\nbe left home with fretting children while Mary went to mass.\n\nIt was nine o'clock before she could get away; the last mass in the\nbasement was at nine o'clock. But the Elevation of the Host had been\ncelebrated before she got there, and she turned disappointedly to\nthe stairs; she would have to wait for half-past nine mass in the\nmain church. It seemed as if Providence were balking her, but on the\nstairway she learned the reason why.\n\n\"Ye mus' be sure t' say a spicial prayer on this mass,\" said one woman\nwho passed her to another, \"'tis the first mass this young praste have\niver said, an' a blissin' go wid it t' thim thot prays wid him.\"\n\nSaul on the Damascus road had no more overwhelming sense of arrest and\nredirection than Mary Casey had, as, trembling with excitement, she\nreached the top of the stairway.\n\n\"Think o' that now,\" she told herself, \"an' if I had come t' th' airly\nmass I'd niver 'a' known it!\"\n\nHardly would her knees uphold her until she could sink into an obscure\npew, far back under the gallery. And there, at the tense moment when\nthe silver-toned bell proclaimed commemoration of the great lifting-up\nin suffering, Mary raised her faith-full prayer: \"A'mighty God, sind\nme gyurl back t' me! But if it don' be in yer heart t' do thot mooch,\nmaake her a good gyurl wheeriver she be. Fer th' love av Christ, Amin.\"\n\nNot often in any lifetime, perhaps, does it come to pass that one prays\nwith such sublime assurance of crying straight into the listening\near of Omnipotence that will inevitably keep faith with poor flesh.\nFor nigh on to forty years Mary Casey had listened to reiterations\nof the old and new Covenants, but they had fallen on sterile ground\nin her soul. It was the little chance remark about the new priest's\nfirst mass, dropping into harrowed and watered soil, that flowered in\nimmediate faith.\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nThe mass ended and the throngs of worshipers passed out, but Mary sat\nunheeded and unheeding in her dim corner, her simple mind grappling\nwith the stupendous idea of its Covenant with Heaven.\n\nBefore she had any realizing sense of time, the church had filled again\nfor high mass. Then the lighting of the great white altar fascinated\nher, and she felt an intense desire to live again through such a moment\nof assurance as she had lately experienced--to hear that bell ring\nagain, to smell the incense, and to believe that in some wonderful,\nwonderful way it was all a part of that prayer of hers that Heaven was\nbound to answer.\n\nSo she stayed on, in her far-away pew, to the remotest corner of which\nshe was crowded as the enormous church filled to its capacity. With the\nentrance of the preacher into the pulpit, though, she was conscious of\na distinct \"let-down.\" She had never liked sermons; they dealt with\nthings so formally. Even when the priests made their greatest efforts\nto be plain-spoken and understandable, she seldom got any personal help\nfrom their discourse. They were prone to denunciations of adultery and\ndrunkenness and other sins of which she was innocent, and to vague\nexhortations looking toward a hereafter on which her imagination had\nnever taken any but the feeblest hold. But what was this priest saying?\nSomething about a little household that the Lord had loved, and one of\nits two sisters had gone astray!\n\nThe woman sitting next to Mary nudged her other neighbor and glanced in\nthe direction of Mary's face, thrust forward as if so as not to lose a\nsyllable, the tears chasing each other unheeded down its furrows. In\nher lap Mary's gnarled hands were clasped in painful intensity.\n\nOver and over, since she was a tiny child in Ireland, she had heard\nthis Catholic rendering, of Mary of Bethany's story, but it had never\nmeant anything to her. To-day it meant everything.\n\n  [Illustration: \"MARY SAT UNHEEDED AND UNHEEDING IN HER DIM CORNER, HER\n  MIND GRAPPLING WITH THE STUPENDOUS IDEA\"]\n\n\"An' I said I niver wanted t' see her ag'in if she'd disgraaced me,\"\nshe told herself, and was appalled at the remembrance.\n\nThat afternoon, toward the early dusk, she sat in the dark kitchen\nholding Annie in her lap; all the other children were out. Casey,\nwho had not left the house all day, was huddled up to the stove,\nsmoking his rank pipe; he was unshaven and unwashed, and wore a\ncoarse undershirt of a peculiar mustard color which lent his pallid,\ngrime-streaked face a ghastly hue. He had been talking about a \"gran'\njob\" of which a man had told him, and building large castles about\nmoving to a better street and a better house and buying a \"parlie suit\nbe aisy paymints.\"\n\nMary listened believingly; twenty years of listening to these dreams\nwhich never came true had not killed her hopefulness. As she listened,\nthough, her hopes outran Casey's, for she could conceive no possible\nfelicity without Angela Ann. How to introduce the now-forbidden subject\nof Angela was a problem, but clearly the only way was to plunge in.\n\n\"Yis,\" she assented, \"I t'ink we should have a parlie. It have always\nbeen my belafe thot if we'd had a parlie Ang'la wouldn't niver 'a' wint\naway. Ag'in' she come home, I'm goin' t' kape th' parlie noice fer her\nan' lave her have her beau ivry noight, an' no wan t' bother thim. An'\nI ain't goin' t' lave her go downtown t' work no more--theer's too\nmanny bad min. She kin stay home an' moind th' house, an' I'll git\nscrubbin' t' do t' th' Imporium. Wid what you earn an' what I earn, we\nkin give her mebbe a dollar a wake fer spindin' money.\"\n\nMary waxed excited as her dream unfolded, but Casey was ironical.\n\n\"Whin d'ye _ixpict_ her?\" he inquired, with pride in the sarcasm.\n\n\"I dunno,\" said Mary, undaunted, \"but I know she'll come. An' whin she\ndo, I'll not ask her anny quistions. I don' keer how she come t' me, so\nshe come. No matter what she've done, theer mus' be dipths she haven't\nr'ached yit, an' all I ask now is t' save her from gittin' anny worse\nthan she be. D'ye know what I prayed t' th' Mother o God befoore I\nlift th' church this mornin'? I prayed that our Ang'la Ann'd git in\ntrouble--in tur'ble trouble 'n' disgraace so thot thim thot's lid her\naway'd t'row her out, 'n' no wan but God 'n' her mother'd take her in!\"\n\nIn speechless astonishment Casey gazed at the vehement woman before\nhim. Some instinct made him hold his peace while she told about the\npriest's first mass, about the sermon, about the answer she confidently\nexpected to her prayer. While he listened, his easy Irish emotionalism\ncaught the contagion of her belief, and his tears flowed unchecked as\nhe alternately cursed the man that had led Angela away, and prophesied\nglowingly of the \"parlie\" that was to be.\n\nIt was pitchy dark in the kitchen now, and Mary got up to light the\nlamp. As she did so, a sound at the door caused her nearly to drop the\nlamp. Hurrying to the door, she threw it open, and with the light in\none hand peered out into the black yard.\n\n\"Here, pussy, pussy,\" she called. Then, as her call was answered, \"My\nGod! what did I tell ye? Tis the wan-eyed cat!\"\n\n\nIII\n\nThe next morning the postman brought a letter. Mary was not surprised\nto get it. Casey had gone to look for the \"gran' job,\" and the older\nchildren were in school, so the letter could not be read, but she could\nmake out the signature, written in the large, unformed hand where-with\nAngela had covered every available space in the days of her brief but\nlaborious apprenticeship to the art of writing.\n\nWith trembling hand Mary tucked the letter in her bosom, hastily got\nready herself and Dewey and the baby, and started for Maggie's. Maggie\nwas younger and had enjoyed more educational advantages. She could\n\"r'ade printin'\" easily, and \"writin\"' fairly well if it hadn't too\nmany flourishes.\n\n\"She says,\" spelled out Mrs. O'Connor, \"'Dear Ma, I'm at ---- West\nRandolph Street I'm sick I'm afraid to go home count of Pa Your Loving\ndaughter Angela Ann Casey.' I'll go wid ye,\" finished Mrs. O'Connor in\nthe same breath.\n\nOut of her small store of tawdry finery she lent several articles\nto make Mary \"look more drissy,\" and while they got ready for their\nmomentous journey, Mary related the events of the day before, and of\nSaturday night.\n\n\"Me an' Tim,\" said Maggie, when the tale had reached the stage of the\n\"parlie\" and Mary's earnings as a scrub-woman, \"was figgerin' how we\ncould help out a bit, ag'in' she come home, an' Tim have promised t'\ntake me 'n' her to th' theayter quite frayquint of a Sat'day noight,\nan' together we're goin' t' give her half a dollar ivry wake t' spind\non her clo'es.\"\n\nThe number they sought on West Randolph Street was not far from the\nfateful Haymarket Square. There was a store on the ground floor, with\nliving rooms behind. And above, a long flight of oilcloth-covered\nstairs led to a \"hotel.\"\n\nThey inquired first in the store, but no one there had ever heard of\nAngela Ann. Then, with fast-beating hearts, the women mounted to the\noffice of the hotel, an inside room facing the head of the first flight\nof stairs. The door stood open, and they looked, before entering, into\na gas-lighted room furnished with yellow-painted wooden arm-chairs\nranged along the walls and flanked by a sparser row of cuspidors; a\nbig sheet-iron stove on a square zinc plateau filled the middle of\nthe room, and near the door, behind a small desk like a butcher-store\ncashier's, sat the \"clerk,\" chewing vigorously and expectorating\nwithout accuracy.\n\n\"Yes, she has a room here,\" he answered to Mary's question, \"hall room,\nrear, third floor.\"\n\n\"In a minute!\" called Angela Ann's voice when Mary had knocked.\n\n\"My God, 'tis hersilf,\" sobbed Mary, and fell a-weeping violently.\n\n\"Ma!\" cried Angela Ann, and threw open the door. She had been in bed\nwhen they knocked, and had not waited to put on her clothes when she\nheard her mother's voice. At the touch of her, the clinging clasp of\nher poor, thin, cold little arms, Mary grew hysterical.\n\n\"Don't, Ma, don't,\" begged Angela.\n\n\"She've grieved hersilf sick over ye,\" said Maggie, unable to forbear\nthis much of a reprimand now that the sinner was found. \"Iver since ye\nwint she've been loike wan crazy. Come, Mary; now ye've got her, brace\nup!\"\n\n\"Sure, Ma,\" echoed the girl, \"now ye've got me, brace up, I ain't never\ngoin' t' lave ye no more, Ma--honest t' God, I ain't.\"\n\n\"Wheer ye been?\" Mary raised her head, and drawing back from the girl\npeered anxiously into her face. \"In God's name, Ang'la Ann, wheer you\nbeen? Tell me ye've kep' dacint, gyurl, tell me ye've kep' dacint!\"\n\nAngela sat down on the dingy, disordered bed and began to cry, hiding\nher face in her hands. For a long moment the silence, save for her soft\nsobbing, was profound. Then a low moan escaped Mary, a moan of anguish\ninexpressible, showing how deeply, notwithstanding her resolution of\nyesterday, she had cherished the hope of her daughter's safety.\n\n  [Illustration: IN GOD'S NAME, ANG'LA ANN, WHEER YOU BEEN?]\n\nAngela raised her head. The pain in her mother's moan was beyond\nher comprehension, and she could only understand it as horror and\ncondemnation.\n\n\"Are ye--are ye--goin' t' t'row me off?\"' she asked.\n\n\"T'row ye off? Ah, me gyurl, if ye'll on'y stick t' me as long as\nI'll stick t' you, 'tis all I'll ask o' Hiven! Tis fer yer sake I was\nprayin' no harm had come t' ye--not fer mine. Whativer happen t' ye,\nye're me Ang'la Ann thot I nursed from yer first brith. An' ye don'\nknow all I'm fixin' t' do fer ye--me an' yer pa an' yer Aunt Maggie,\nhere, and yer Uncle Tim----\"\n\nAnd there followed a glowing account of the feast prepared for the\nprodigal's return.\n\n\"Th' idare o' you bein' afraid o' yer pa,\" chided Mary, \"an' him fixin'\nt' git a stiddy job an' not have ye go downtown no more.\"\n\nFar shrewder than her mother, Angela Ann did not overestimate\nthis excellent intention of her pa's, but she said nothing of the\nbitterness that was in her heart on account of his past crimes. It was\na long-standing grievance with her that her mother could never, for\nmore than a fleeting, irritated moment at a time, be made to see Casey\nas others saw him. Angela Ann had been working for him since she was\neleven (child-labor laws were lax, then) and giving up her every penny\nto pay rent and buy insufficient mites of coal and food--just enough to\nkeep them alive and no more--and it was starvation of many sorts that\nsent her at last into the clutches of them that prey. The girl was full\nof self-pity, and impatient with her mother because the older woman had\nforgotten how to rebel.\n\n\"Yer pa say, though,\" added Mary, \"thot he won't promise not i' kill\nthe felly thot lid ye away; he've got tur'ble wingeance on him--yer pa\nhave.\"\n\nAngela Ann smiled grimly. \"I guess theer's quite a few pa's lookin' fer\nhim,\" she said, \"but they don't ever seem t' find him.\"\n\n\"Did he prom'se t' marry ye?\" asked Mary anxiously.\n\n\"I should say not! He promised to make me a primmy donny.\"\n\n\"What's that?\" fearfully.\n\n\"'Tis a kind of actress that wear tights an' sings,\" explained Angela.\n\"I'm after r'adin' in books how gran' they be, an' in the papers\nit tell how the swell fellies do be runnin' after thim with diming\nnecklusses, an' marryin' of 'em. 'Tis all a lie!\" she cried shrilly.\n\n\"Ye see,\" Mary could not refrain from reminding her. \"I tol' ye thim\ntheayters was all wrong. We kind o' t'ought it might be thim thot got\nye, an' yer pa wint t' see this here Halberg, whin we foun' the caard\nout o' yer pocke'-book. But he said he niver hear tell o' ye.\"\n\n\"Did pa go there?\" questioned Angela eagerly. She was all interest to\nknow how the search for her had been carried on, and \"did th' p'lice\nknow?\" and \"how did ye kape it out o' th' papers?\"\n\nYes, it had been Halberg \"all the time,\" she admitted. She had answered\nhis advertisement, and after a week's drill he had sent her, true to\nhis published word, in a \"road company\" that mitigated the gloom of\ncoal miners' lives by singing and dancing--and carousing--in a circuit\nof saloons in the soft coal regions of Illinois. When she fell sick,\nthe company abandoned her without the formality of paying her any\nsalary, and a foul-tongued, soft-hearted landlady, whose own young\ndaughter was God knew where, had let Angela stay in her wretched hotel\nuntil she was able by dishwashing and lampfilling chores to earn the\nfew dollars to take her back to Chicago.\n\n\"But I couldn' get no stren'th back,\" the girl went on, \"an' that woman\nat th' hotel, Mis' Schlogel, she sez t' me, 'You better go home t' yer\nma, that's wheer you better go,' an' she bundled me off Friday mornin'.\nBut I was scairt t' go home right t' wunst till I seen how youse was\ngoin' t' be t' me, so I come here wheer I stayed whin I was studyin'\nwid O. Halberg, an' Friday night I got awful sick an' laid here all\nnight awake an' burnin' up an' my head achin' t' beat th' band. An' all\nday Sat'day an' Sunday I wasn't able to go out fer nothin' t' eat, an'\nth' propri'ter wouldn't order me nothin' sent in fer fear I wouldn't be\nable t' pay. A woman in the nex' room light-house-keeps, an' she made\nme tea a couple o' times after she heard I was sick an' alone.\"\n\n\"Why in Hivin's name,\" Maggie broke in, \"did ye niver drap yer ma a\nline t' say ye were aloive? Ye needn't 'a' tol' wheer ye was, but ye\ncould 'a' said ye were in the land o' th' livin', surely?\"\n\n\"I was 'shamed,\" whimpered Angela; \"I fought ye wouldn't keer wheer I\nwas if I wasn't doin' dacint.\"\n\n\"Think o' that, now!\" cried Mary. \"That's all a gyurl do know about\nher ma. Whin yer a ma yersilf ye'll know better, an' not till thin, I\nsuppose.\"\n\nThus was Angela Ann made sure of her welcome home.\n\n\"An' not wan but yer own kin know ye've been missin'\" said Mary, as she\nhelped the girl to get ready for the return, \"so ye kin hol' up yer hid\nan' look th' world in th' faace. An' may God fergive yer mother the\nloies she've tol' t' save yer name!\"\n\n\n\n\n  [Illustration]\n\nBORDEN\n\nBY GEORGE C. SHEDD\n\nILLUSTRATIONS BY WALTER BIGGS\n\nOne rainy afternoon I was sitting with my friend Carter, in his log\nhouse. Through the open door we could see the road, all cut up by\nwagon-tracks, running with water; lumps of mud thrust their black heads\nup in it everywhere; the bordering grass was wet and heavy. And down by\nthe creek the fringe of trees made only a gray blur.\n\nWe had talked ourselves pretty near out when a rider splashed up to\nthe door. His ragged beard stuck out stiff, full of rain-drops, and\nhis slouch hat had an unpleasant tilt forward. To Carter's invitation\nto enter he shook his head, asked if such-and-such a person had passed\nwithin the hour, and, receiving an affirmative reply, pulled his hat\ndown tighter and galloped away west. \"Who is that?\" I inquired.\n\n\"That! Why, that's Borden. It's easy to see you're new out here. His\nhand holds the river from Saint Joe to Omaha, and men think twice\nbefore trying to break his grip.\" He drew out his pipe and tobacco,\nstuffed the bowl thoughtfully, and struck a match. \"If you want to hear\nabout the first time I saw him at work, I'll tell you.\"\n\nI nodded.\n\n\"Eh? Well, this was the way of it\":\n\n       *       *       *       *       *\n\nAt the end of the war I settled here--that was five years ago. Borden\nlived a mile up the creek, and so, as times went, we were neighbors.\nBy the people yonder in Kinton he was not liked, being grim, rough,\nsavage, altogether unsociable and short of word. Besides, they\nremembered '57. In that year he appeared from no one knew where, took\nhis claim, and proceeded to live after his own fashion. Then the\nhigh-handed Claim Club of the village went about it to drive him \"in or\nover the river\"--a bad night for them. They rode back to Kinton with\nthree dead men laid across saddles. That was in the rough days of the\nTerritory, the days when men in the Nebraska hills along the Missouri\nwere a law unto themselves.\n\n  [Illustration: \"THEY CROWDED HIS HORSE UNTIL IT HUNG BACK FROM THE\n  OTHERS\"]\n\nOnce he tied up on his own deck a steamboat captain who was drunk\nand bent on murder; single-handed he ran down two horse-thieves; and\nanother time he choked the money out of a river-gambler who had robbed\na boy. Oh, they knew Borden up and down the river in those days! Then\nhe went to war as one of Thayer's sharpshooters, returning at the end\nof it to be appointed United States marshal. And he had been riding\nthat saddle six months when I came.\n\nOne day he and another pulled rein at my door.\n\n\"Come with me,\" he said abruptly. \"I want you to look after this\nfellow--you're my deputy till further notice.\" He did not waste time\nover oaths or official nonsense.\n\n\"Now, see here--\" the man started to say. But Borden cut him off with a\nscowl.\n\n\"Who is he?\" I asked.\n\n\"Him?--Fitch. You've heard of him, I guess.\"\n\nHeard of him, of course, as everyone had; of his sly, petty legal\ntricks by which he grabbed land here and land there until his titles\nspotted the country about Nebraska City; of his rent-squeezing that\nsmelled over the whole town; of these, and other things. He was a lean,\ndark, uneasy fellow, wearing a rumpled tile and a shiny coat, riding\nall crouched up, and pulling his horse away from everybody we met.\n\nAfter we started, Borden told me that Fitch had brought him notice to\nserve on Dempster--old John Dempster, his friend. Now, that made a bad\njob for the Marshal. I saw it from the way he answered not a word to\nFitch, who now and then pressed up--intent on the business--to make him\ntalk. Once Borden pulled out his heavy wrinkled boot from the stirrup\nand kicked the other's horse in the belly until it reared on its\nhaunches. For Borden was the law's officer, but no man's servant.\n\nOur way ran three miles up from Kinton. There was no road, and we\nfollowed along the edge of the bluffs as best we were able, until\nfinally we dipped down into a ravine and so came to our destination. It\nwas a wooded flat on the bank of the river, made by a sudden retreat\nof the hills--a sort of pocket. The space was not large, a handful of\nacres, and it looked smaller than it really was. The bluffs curved\naround it on three sides in a yellow, crumbling wall; on the fourth\nflowed the muddy waters of the Missouri. The house was in the center\nof a small clearing, and when we came in sight of it Fitch pulled up\nbehind a small thicket of scrub. Borden, as if he never saw the fellow\nhalt, rode straight up to the door where John Dempster sat shaping an\naxe-haft.\n\n\"Jack,\" said Borden, swinging down from his saddle, \"I've come to have\na talk with you.\"\n\nDempster shaved the haft a minute, laid it aside, and gazed off toward\nthe clump of scrub. The two men were something alike, though the man\nseated on the door-sill was the older, both past the prime, both spare\nof words, both come to the West in the same year. They had lain side by\nside behind a sleety log before Fort Donelson, and each in his three\nyears of service had felt the touch of hot lead.\n\n\"How d'you come--friend or enemy?\"\n\n\"The first, and always, I hope. It depends on you. Why did you kick him\noff of here yesterday, Jack? He's full of poison over it.\"\n\n\"Let him keep off then,\" was the gruff response.\n\nBoth looked again at the clump where Fitch could be seen through the\nthin screen of bushes. After a while Dempster took out his tobacco, cut\noff a piece, and passed the rest to us.\n\n\"You're in a dirty way of business when you're mixed up with him,\" he\nsaid slowly. \"An' I 'spose you've come to run me out.\"\n\n\"What's at the bottom of this trouble?\" returned Borden, evading the\npoint. \"'Tain't the land--what is it he's after?\"\n\nDempster spat. \"He's gettin' even. I knocked him down last spring when\nI was at Nebraska City, for lyin' about--never mind. That's all. So he\nsneaked around an' hunted out where I live an' filed on the land.\" A\ndull fire lighted up under his bushy eyebrows.\n\n\"Why didn't you file long ago?\"\n\n\"Does the gover'ment take away a man's home when he's fought in the\nwar?\"\n\n\"You know how I feel about it,\" replied Borden, and he laid his hand on\nthe other's shoulder. \"But it's too late for you to try to keep it now.\nYou'd better look up another place.\"\n\n\"No, I'm goin' to stay here, I guess, or nowhere.\"\n\nBorden knew that the decision was inflexible. As he rose, put his foot\nin the stirrup, and raised himself into the saddle, he determined,\nhowever, to have another try.\n\n\"Come and settle up along the creek by me. There's an open claim just\nbeyond mine, better than this piece.\"\n\n  [Illustration: \"'YOU GOT THE BEST O' ME, DICK; I'LL GO'\"]\n\nDempster shook his head; maybe he was thinking of the clearing back in\nIndiana and the boughs under which he had drawn his first breath,\nmaybe this poor fringe of woods along the river was dearer to him than\nall the treeless prairie.\n\n\"We've lived here near ten years now,\" he said at last, \"the old woman\nan' Joe--an' me, 'ceptin' when I was at war. I guess if we go, you'll\nhave to use your gun.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry, Jack, but you've got to go. And I give you a week. It's not\nme that says so, it's the law.\"\n\n\"Law!\" answered Dempster, with sudden rising fierceness. \"Does the law\ndrive a man off his own?\"\n\nIt was the law, not justice, that was driving him. Without replying a\nword, Borden, and I by his side, rode away. When we reached the lean,\neager face behind the scrub, the Marshal broke out, \"You vulture, keep\nbehind us! If you try to ride even, I'll sink your carcass in the\nriver.\" And in that order, with him trailing us, we came back to Kinton.\n\nWell, during the next week the more I turned the thing over on my\ntongue the less I liked the taste of it, but Borden was not one to\nconsider dislikes--neither another man's nor his own--when he was\nriding the law's saddle. So I resolved to go through with it, and was\nready Thursday morning. He came out from Nebraska City, accompanied\nby six deputies, men he had tried, who would not back off from the\nmouth of a gun, for he knew the door he must enter that day. Fitch was\namong them; oh, he was yellow over it! Borden had dragged him along to\nthe whole end of the dirty business. The tale, too, was out among the\ndeputies, and Fitch saw plainly what rope they would have swung him\nby. Grim looks were his every mile; when he pushed up among them, they\ncrowded his horse to the withers until it hung back from the others;\none cursed him fully and foully. They intended that he should earn that\nbit of ground before the day was done.\n\nIn the ravine at the edge of the flat we tied our horses. The men\nunslung their rifles, hitched their revolvers about, and waited, while\nBorden went down the hollow to reconnoiter. Perhaps half an hour had\npassed when he climbed down the bank above our heads and dropped into\nour midst.\n\n\"Quick! The boy's gone for water to the spring. Straight ahead there.\nNo shooting till I give the word.\"\n\nThe men nodded, we filed down the ravine single-file, and the next\nminute were advancing noiselessly through the trees, spreading out\ngradually as we crossed the flat toward the clearing where stood the\nlog house. The deputies went ahead, alert, silent, with an eye on\nBorden, who walked a little before them, each keeping a tree in line\nwith the door.\n\nPerhaps things were no different that morning than they were at any\ntime; yet the little flat seemed possessed of a very great quiet,\nbroken only by the slight swish of our boots through the dry grass.\nAs we neared the cabin, we saw that its windows and door were shut.\nFitch, who clung to me as though he found more comfort in my company,\noccasionally wiped drops of sweat from his yellow forehead, and removed\nhis high hat to let the wind blow through his hair.\n\nThe other men went ahead unconcerned enough. One big fellow dropped\nhis gun into the crook of his arm, pulled out a piece of tobacco, and\ncarefully picked the lint off it. When he had had a bite, he tossed it\nto a comrade, who caught it handily, buried it for a moment under his\nmustache, and then held up the remnant to the other's sight, grinning.\nHe tossed it back; neither had lost his place in the advancing line.\n\nFifty yards from the house Borden signaled a halt. Rifle-butts slipped\nto the ground, and the men leaned with backs against their trees--all\nexcept two, who handed their guns to others and veered off towards\nthe bluffs, the direction Borden indicated, to the spring. A brown,\ngrizzled fellow, sheltered behind an elm a few feet from me, turned\nhis attention to Fitch, whom he examined curiously and at leisure,\nconcluding his inspection by spitting his way. Then his look strayed\nsouth. After a little he began to sing softly:\n\n  The flat-boats 'r in an' the bull-boats 'r a-stoppin'\n  An' licker runnin' free,--oh, hell is a-poppin'!\n  Down on the river, down on----\n\nHe broke off suddenly, turning his head a little way towards where the\ntwo men had entered the bushes, listening. Directly he finished the\nlines:\n\n  Down on the river, down on the river,\n  Down on the Misser-ee when the boats come in.\n\nThe man must have had ears like an Indian's. He folded his arms across\nthe muzzle of his rifle and began watching the bushes that fringed the\nbase of the hill; the other men also were looking that way. A minute\npassed. All at once a young fellow slipped out from nowhere, running\nand carrying a full bucket. He was bare-headed, his sleeves rolled\nto the elbows. He ran a few steps toward the house, quickly slanted\noff, and kept going, while turning his head this way and that. I saw\nthe cause of his sudden change in direction, for there was one of the\ndeputies running parallel with him, but between him and the door. The\nsecond came in sight a minute later, farther down, and from behind a\nthicket, abreast of the other two. They had the young fellow between\nthem.\n\nThe rest of us were strung about before the house in a half-circle, the\nthree runners being on the outside of the circle. Everything was quiet,\nfor Borden's hounds don't hunt with their mouths open. Young Dempster\ncarried his bucket of water with scarcely a slop or a splash; the inner\ndeputy gradually moved out and behind him. Two men at the tail of the\nline fell away from their trees to meet him--and there he was in a\nring. The man nearest me, still leaning on his rifle, gave a cluck of\nhis tongue as if it were all over. But it was not. A shot cracked from\nthe door, and the deputy who was on the outside flipped his hand in\nthe air as if he had been stung. His fingers were all bloody. That was\na pretty shot, I tell you; old Jack Dempster ticked the button on his\nson's shirt to make it, for the men were running breast and breast from\nthe door.\n\nThe boy saw the trap he was in. Just as he came even with me, he\nwhirled and took his chance through the line. It was quick--oh,\nquick as a cat! Three of us met him. But he was in moccasins and\nlight-footed, jumping this way and that, and though my neighbor flung\nhis rifle between his legs, he skipped it and was nearly through. He\nsprang to one side, leaped at Fitch--the water was splashing now--and\nswerved past him. Maybe it was the nasty look on his face that made\nFitch shoot, anyway the fellow fired his revolver. It did not seem as\nif he could miss; Joe ran straight for the cabin. Half way there the\nbucket slipped from his hand; then he began to stagger a little. Near\nthe door he went to his knees and, with a look over his shoulder at us\nwhile fumbling for his revolver, crawled behind the chopping-log.\n\n\"I got him before he got me,\" said Fitch, fairly green about the mouth,\n\"He was going to kill me.\"\n\nBorden took a step toward him, paused for the time of a single breath,\nwhirled around, and was behind his tree. As for the other men, I never\nwant to see such faces as they wore.\n\nAfter that it seemed to me as if our business had come to a standstill.\nIt was little shelter we had, just a tree apiece. We might as well have\nbeen tied to them with cords, for the old man was watching from his\nlair, and that with his boy's blood red in his eyes, ready to catch us\neither advancing or retiring. Nor was the young fellow so badly hurt\nbut what he could pull a trigger. And Borden never retired that I ever\nheard of--that wasn't his way. Any instant I expected to hear a bullet\nsnip the bark on my tree. I never felt so big before or since, big as\na hill, and I drew myself together mighty small, I can tell you.\n\nWhile I was wondering what would come next, Borden stepped out into\nthe open. He walked toward the door, calm and steady, and without\nparticular haste, his revolver in its holster. It all happened so\nquickly it took me by surprise; the Dempsters, man and boy, must have\nbeen struck by it, for not a shot was fired. But to advance that way,\nto clasp hands with death! Maybe you've heard soldiers tell about\ncharging in the face of cannon, how they felt--I know I felt worse just\nto see him go straight toward the house. I got dizzy, dizzy sick. Then\nit had all fallen so still, the little wind in the trees and the leaves\nstirring over the ground. I looked at the other men, thinking they\ncould somehow change it; the grizzled old chap was chewing his tobacco\nas fast as he could, and the man with the bloody fingers had finished\ntying them up in his handkerchief. First thing I knew I was half out\nfrom behind my tree, watching him.\n\n\"Keep back, Dick Borden,\" warned the man in the house--I swear his\nvoice shook as he said it--\"keep back, or, by God, I'll shoot!\"\n\n\"I'm coming into that door, Jack Dempster,\" was Borden's reply.\n\nHe never flinched, never stopped. Then the rifle sounded, and, like an\necho, the boy's revolver echoed it. Borden was hit--how could they fail\nat that distance and such a mark? But he managed to win the log where\nyoung Dempster lay. He stood there an instant, then slowly sat down\nupon it. A second time the young fellow lifted his weapon, and every\nman of us could see the Marshal looking into the muzzle. Orders or no\norders, that was too much for even the deputies; the click of their\nrifle hammers ran along the trees. Borden heard it.\n\n\"Don't shoot, men!\"\n\nHis voice was not loud, but harsh, and keyed high, as if his throat was\ndry. I think the next sound was a groan from the boy, and his revolver\nwavered and slipped in his fingers.\n\n\"It's the gun you gave me,\" he said, \"an' I can't kill you with it.\"\n\nBorden turned his head painfully from side to side, saw a stick, bent\ndown laboriously, got it at last, and by its aid raised himself to\nhis feet. That seemed to exhaust him. He stood for a moment, inert\nand useless, like an old man. Then he began to hoist himself forward\nstep by step to the door. Iron will, just iron, it was. And it was\nterrible to see him--one shoulder and arm swinging low and limp, his\nknees lifting high as if knotted with stiffness, his head protruding in\nintense effort. The distance was short, but long, long for him.\n\n\"Keep back! keep back!\" cried Dempster. He himself was half out of the\ndoor, gripping his gun with one hand, warding the relentless Marshal\noff with the other.\n\nBorden answered nothing, another step.\n\n\"You've got to stop!\" begged Dempster. \"Don't make me kill you, an'\nI can't let you in. Go back, go back! We fought together, we marched\ntogether, we ate and slept together, Dick--for God's sake, don't come\nnearer!\"\n\nOne step at a time, putting his stick forward bit by bit and dragging\nhimself to it with his queer uplifting knees, Borden moved himself\nahead. There was something stern and inhuman in this persistence. So it\nwent to the last bitter inch. Then Borden's breast touched the rifle's\nmuzzle. The two men stood looking into each other's eyes, measuring\nlife and death.\n\nThat is a minute in my mind forever. The young fellow had dragged\nhimself a little way from behind his log--half-following, fascinated,\nsupporting himself by his two hands--and was staring at them. The empty\nbucket lay on its side in the sunshine. The wind whined and whined\nthrough the trees. And the wife's haggard face peered over Dempster's\nshoulder in the door.\n\n\"I arrest you!\"\n\nThe stick dropped from his fingers, he clutched at the man's sleeve and\nfell across the door-sill. All I remember is that we were all crowding\nabout the door, with the boy cursing from the ground behind us for\nsomeone to help him. Even Fitch had come, twisting and pushing among\nthe rest.\n\nBorden was white and still, but he came around directly and stared at\nus a little. We laid him on a blanket outside the door, along with\nJoe, who carried his lead just below the knee. The Marshal was pretty\nbad, having a bullet through his collar-bone and another through his\nside, this one a big ugly hole. There were plenty of us to help, some\nto cut and to strip their clothes, some to fetch water, some to wash\nthe wounds, some to tear bandages. One had already started south for a\ndoctor. Dempster was on his knees by his old comrade.\n\n\"You got the best o' me, Dick; I'll go.\"\n\nBorden smiled a little. It was good to look at their two faces then.\n\nFitch, who was rubbing his hands evilly, put in, \"Yes, you get off here\nwithin an hour. And I'll have the law on you, too, for the kicking you\ngave me.\"\n\nOne of the men struck him across the mouth.\n\n\"Tie him,\" said Borden, \"and hang him.\"\n\nWell, there was a noisy to-do, the fellow screeching that it was\nagainst the law, that he shot the boy for trying to kill him, that it\nwas on his own land, and the like. He kept it up until his screech fell\ninto a quaver, and terror came into his eyes. Borden smiled again at\nsight of him, this time with lips that made a straight white line.\n\n\"The law!\" he said, at last. \"I am the law.\"\n\nHe let the matter go as far as the rope around the wretch's neck; then\nit seemed as if Fitch was dead already. No, Borden didn't hang him;\nhe had another idea, the claim. He waited until Fitch had his senses\nonce more and told him he would be taken to Nebraska City and tried for\nattempted murder. Fitch began to beg, while Borden listened with grim\nsatisfaction. He would let the claim go, he would start down the river,\nquit the country. The rope was thrown off and Borden ordered him away;\nand with a sudden fierce oath that made him gasp from pain, Borden\nswore he would shoot him with his own hand if he caught sight of him\nagain.\n\nFitch knew that Borden meant what he said, and he wasn't seen again in\nNebraska. Six months or so fetched Borden round, and let him into the\nsaddle again. It must be lead in the heart or brain to kill men of his\nfiber--and Dempster had been shaky with his gun. Things got a little\nloose while the Marshal was on his back up there in the cabin, but he\ntightened them up again soon. We'll ride up there some day and see the\nspot. Yes, the Dempsters have the title to the place now.\n\n  [Illustration]\n\n  [Illustration]\n\n\n\n\n  [Illustration]\n\nTHE GLOUCESTER MOTHER\n\nBY SARAH ORNE JEWETT\n\nDECORATION BY WLADYSLAW T. BENDA\n\n  [Illustration]\n\n  When Autumn winds are high\n  They wake and trouble me,\n  With thoughts of people lost\n  A-coming on the coast,\n  And all the ships at sea.\n\n  How dark, how dark and cold.\n  And fearful in the waves,\n  Are tired folk who lie not still\n  And quiet in their graves;--\n  In moving waters deep,\n  That will not let men sleep\n  As they may sleep on any hill;\n  May sleep ashore till time is old,\n  And all the earth is frosty cold.--\n  Under the flowers a thousand springs\n  They sleep and dream of many things.\n\n  God bless them all who die at sea!\n  If they must sleep in restless waves,\n  God make them dream they are ashore,\n  With grass above their graves.\n\n\n\n\nALCOHOL AND THE INDIVIDUAL\n\nBY HENRY SMITH WILLIAMS, M.D., LL.D.\n\n\nSome very puzzling differences of opinion about the use of alcoholic\nbeverages find expression. This is natural enough, since alcohol is a\nvery curious drug, and the human organism a very complex mechanism. The\neffects of this drug upon this mechanism are often very mystifying. Not\nmany persons are competent to analyze these effects in their totality.\nStill fewer can examine any of them quite without prejudice. But in\nrecent years a large number of scientific investigators have attempted\nto substitute knowledge for guesswork as to the effects of alcohol,\nthrough the institution of definitive experiments. Some have tested its\neffects on the digestive apparatus; others, its power over the heart\nand voluntary muscles; still others, its influence upon the brain. On\nthe whole, the results of these experiments are singularly consistent.\nUndoubtedly they tend to upset a good many time-honored preconceptions.\nBut they give better grounds for judgment as to what is the rational\nattitude toward alcohol than have hitherto been available.\n\nThe traditional role of alcohol is that of a stimulant. It has been\nsupposed to stimulate digestion and assimilation; to stimulate the\nheart's action; to stimulate muscular activity and strength; to\nstimulate the mind. The new evidence seems to show that, in the final\nanalysis, alcohol stimulates none of these activities; that its final\neffect is everywhere depressive and inhibitory (at any rate, as regards\nhigher functions) rather than stimulative; that, in short, it is\nproperly to be classed with the anesthetics and narcotics. The grounds\nfor this view should be of interest to every user of alcohol; of\ninterest, for that matter, to every citizen, considering that more than\none thousand million gallons of alcoholic beverages are consumed in the\nUnited States each year.\n\nI should like to present the new evidence far more fully than space\nwill permit. I shall attempt, however, to describe some of the more\nsignificant observations and experiments in sufficient detail to enable\nthe reader to draw his own conclusions. To make room for this, I must\ndeal with other portions of the testimony in a very summary manner.\nAs regards digestion, for example, I must be content to note that\nthe experiments show that alcohol does indeed stimulate the flow of\ndigestive fluids, but that it also tends to interfere with their normal\naction; so that ordinarily one effect neutralizes the other. As regards\nthe action on the heart, I shall merely state that the ultimate effect\nof alcohol is to depress, in large doses to paralyze, that organ.\nThese, after all, are matters that concern the physician rather than\nthe general reader.\n\nThe effect of alcohol on muscular activity has a larger measure of\npopular interest; indeed, it is a question of the utmost practicality.\nThe experiments show that alcohol does not increase the capacity to do\nmuscular work, but distinctly decreases it. Doubtless this seems at\nvariance with many a man's observation of himself; but the explanation\nis found in the fact that alcohol blurs the judgment. As Voit remarks,\nit gives, not strength, but, at most, the feeling of strength. A man\nmay think he is working faster and better under the influence of\nalcohol than he would otherwise do; but rigidly conducted experiments\ndo not confirm this opinion. \"Both science and the experience of life,\"\nsays Dr. John J. Abel, of Johns Hopkins University, \"have exploded\nthe pernicious theory that alcohol gives any persistent increase of\nmuscular power. The disappearance of this universal error will greatly\nreduce the consumption of alcohol among laboring men. It is well\nunderstood by all who control large bodies of men engaged in physical\nlabor, that alcohol and effective work are incompatible.\"\n\nIt is even questionable whether the energy derived from the oxidation\nof alcohol in the body can be directly used at all as a source of\nmuscular energy. Such competent observers as Schumberg and Scheffer\nindependently reached the conclusion that it cannot. Dr. Abel inclines\nto the same opinion. He suggests that \"alcohol is not a food in the\nsense in which fats and carbohydrates are food; it should be defined\nas an easily oxidizable drug with numerous untoward effects which\ninevitably appear when a certain minimum dose is exceeded,\" He thinks\nthat alcohol should be classed \"with the more or less dangerous\nstimulants and narcotics, such as hasheesh, tobacco, etc., rather\nthan with truly sustaining foodstuffs,\" Some of the grounds for this\nview will appear presently, as we now turn to examine the alleged\nstimulating effects of alcohol upon the mental processes.\n\n\n_Alcohol as a Brain Stimulant_\n\nThe celebrated physicist Von Helmholtz, one of the foremost thinkers\nof the nineteenth century, declared that the very smallest quantity\nof alcohol served effectively, while its influence lasted, to banish\nfrom his mind all possibility of creative effort; all capacity to\nsolve an abstruse problem. The result of recent experiments in the\nfield of physiological psychology convince one that the same thing is\ntrue in some measure of every other mind capable of creative thinking.\nCertainly all the evidence goes to show that no mind is capable of\nits best efforts when influenced by even small quantities of alcohol.\nIf any reader of these words is disposed to challenge this statement,\non the strength of his own personal experience, I would ask him to\nreflect carefully as to whether what he has been disposed to regard as\na stimulant effect may not be better explained along lines suggested\nby these words of Professor James: \"The reason for craving alcohol is\nthat it is an anesthetic even in moderate quantities. It obliterates a\npart of the field of consciousness and abolishes collateral trains of\nthought.\"\n\nThe experimental evidence that tends to establish the position of\nalcohol as an inhibitor and disturber rather than a promoter of mental\nactivity has been gathered largely by German investigators. Many of\ntheir experiments are of a rather technical character, aiming to test\nthe basal operations of the mind. Others, however, are eminently\npractical, as we shall see. The earliest experiments, made by Exner in\nVienna so long ago as 1873, aimed to determine the effect of alcohol\nupon the so-called reaction-time. The subject of the experiment sits at\na table, with his finger upon a telegraph key. At a given signal--say\na flash of light--he releases the key. The time that elapses between\nsignal and response--measured electrically in fractions of a second--is\ncalled the simple or direct reaction-time. This varies for different\nindividuals, but is relatively constant, under given conditions, for\nthe same individual. Exner found, however, that when an individual had\nimbibed a small quantity of alcohol, his reaction-time was lengthened,\nthough the subject believed himself to be responding more promptly\nthan before.\n\nThese highly suggestive experiments attracted no very great amount of\nattention at the time. Some years later, however, they were repeated by\nseveral investigators, including Dietl, Vintschgau, and in particular\nKraepelin and his pupils. It was then discovered that, in the case\nof a robust young man, if the quantity of alcohol ingested was very\nsmall, and the tests were made immediately, the direct reaction-time\nwas not lengthened, but appreciably shortened instead. If, however, the\nquantity of alcohol was increased, or if the experiments were made at\na considerable interval of time after its ingestion, the reaction-time\nfell below the normal, as in Exner's experiments.\n\nSubsequent experiments tested mental processes of a somewhat more\ncomplicated character. For example, the subject would place, each\nhand on a telegraph key, at right and left. The signals would then\nbe varied, it being understood that one key or the other would be\npressed promptly accordingly as a red or a white light, appeared. It\nbecame necessary, therefore, to recognize the color of the light,\nand to recall which hand was to be moved at that particular, signal:\nin other words, to make a choice not unlike that which a locomotive\nengineer is required to make when he encounters an unexpected signal\nlight. The tests showed that after the ingestion of a small quantity\nof alcohol--say a glass of beer--there was a marked disturbance of\nthe mental processes involved in this reaction. On the average, the\nkeys were released more rapidly than before the alcohol was taken,\nbut the wrong key was much more frequently released than under normal\ncircumstances. Speed was attained at the cost of correct judgment.\nThus, as Dr. Stier remarks, the experiment shows the elements of two\nof the most significant and persistent effects of alcohol, namely, the\nvitiating of mental processes and the increased tendency to hasty or\nincoordinate movements. Stated otherwise, a levelling down process is\ninvolved, whereby the higher function is dulled, the lower function\naccentuated.\n\nEqually suggestive are the results of some experiments devised by Ach\nand Maljarewski to test the effects of alcohol upon the perception and\ncomprehension of printed symbols. The subject was required to read\naloud a continuous series of letters or meaningless syllables or short\nwords, as viewed through a small slit in a revolving cylinder. It was\nfound that after taking a small quantity of alcohol, the subject was\nnoticeably less able to read correctly. His capacity to repeat, after\na short interval, a number of letters correctly read, was also much\nimpaired. He made more omissions than before, and tended to substitute\nwords and syllables for those actually seen. It is especially\nnoteworthy that the largest number of mistakes were made in the reading\nof meaningless syllables,--that is to say, in the part of the task\ncalling for the highest or most complicated type of mental activity.\n\nAnother striking illustration of the tendency of alcohol to impair the\nhigher mental processes was given by some experiments instituted by\nKraepelin to test the association of ideas, In these experiments, a\nword is pronounced, and the subject is required to pronounce the first\nword that suggests itself in response. Some very interesting secrets\nof the subconscious personality are revealed thereby, as was shown,\nfor example, in a series of experiments conducted last year at Zuerich\nby Dr. Frederick Peterson of New York. But I cannot dwell on these\nhere. Suffice it for our purpose that the possible responses are of\ntwo general types. The suggested word being, let us say, \"book,\" the\nsubject may (1) think of some word associated logically with the idea\nof a book, such as \"read\" or \"leaves\"; or he may (2) think of some\nword associated merely through similarity of sound, such as \"cook\" or\n\"shook.\" In a large series of tests, any given individual tends to show\na tolerably uniform proportion between the two types of association;\nand this ratio is in a sense explicative of his type of mind. Generally\nspeaking, the higher the intelligence, the higher will be the ratio of\nlogical to merely rhymed associations. Moreover, the same individual\nwill exhibit more associations of the logical type when his mind is\nfresh than when it is exhausted, as after a hard day's work.\n\nIn Kraepelin's experiments it appeared that even the smallest quantity\nof alcohol had virtually the effect of fatiguing the mind of the\nsubject, so that the number of his rhymed responses rose far above the\nnormal. That is to say, the lower form of association of ideas was\naccentuated, at the expense of the higher. In effect, the particular\nmind experimented upon was always brought for the time being to a lower\nlevel by the alcohol.\n\n\n_The Effect of a Bottle of Wine a Day_\n\nWhen a single dose of alcohol is administered, its effects gradually\ndisappear, as a matter of course. But they are far more persistent than\nmight be supposed. Some experiments conducted by Fuerer are illuminative\nas to this. He tested a person for several days, at a given hour, as to\nreaction-time, the association of ideas, the capacity to memorize, and\nfacility in adding. The subject was then allowed to drink two litres of\nbeer in the course of a day. No intoxicating effects whatever were to\nbe discovered by ordinary methods. The psychological tests, however,\nshowed marked disturbance of all the reactions, a diminished capacity\nto memorize, decreased facility in adding, etc., not merely on the day\nwhen the alcohol was taken, but on succeeding days as well. Not until\nthe third day was there a gradual restoration to complete normality;\nalthough the subject himself--and this should be particularly\nnoted--felt absolutely fresh and free from after-effects of alcohol on\nthe day following that on which the beer was taken.\n\nSimilarly Ruedin found the effects of a single dose of alcohol to\npersist, as regards some forms of mental disturbance, for twelve hours,\nfor other forms twenty-four hours, and for yet others thirty-six hours\nand more. But Ruedin's experiments bring out another aspect of the\nsubject, which no one who considers the alcohol question in any of\nits phases should overlook: the fact, namely, that individuals differ\ngreatly in their response to a given quantity of the drug. Thus,\nof four healthy young students who formed the subjects of Ruedin's\nexperiment, two showed very marked disturbance of the mental functions\nfor more than forty-eight hours, whereas the third was influenced for a\nshorter time, and the fourth was scarcely affected at all. The student\nwho was least affected was not, as might be supposed, one who had been\naccustomed to take alcoholics habitually, but, on the contrary, one who\nfor six years had been a total abstainer.\n\nNoting thus that the effects of a single dose of alcohol may persist\nfor two or three days, one is led to inquire what the result will\nbe if the dose is repeated day after day. Will there then be a\ncumulative effect, or will the system become tolerant of the drug\nand hence unresponsive? Some experiments of Smith, and others of\nKuerz and Kraepelin have been directed toward the solution of this\nall-important question. The results of the experiments show a piling\nup of the disturbing effects of the alcohol. Kuerz and Kraepelin\nestimate that after giving eighty grams per day to an individual for\ntwelve successive days, the working capacity of that individual's mind\nwas lessened by from twenty-five to forty per cent. Smith found an\nimpairment of the power to add, after twelve days, amounting to forty\nper cent.; the power to memorize was reduced by about seventy per cent.\n\nForty to eighty grams of alcohol, the amounts used in producing these\nastounding results, is no more than the quantity contained in one to\ntwo litres of beer or in a half-bottle to a bottle of ordinary wine.\nProfessor Aschaffenburg, commenting on these experiments, points the\nobvious moral that the so-called moderate drinker, who consumes his\nbottle of wine as a matter of course each day with his dinner--and\nwho doubtless would declare that he is never under the influence of\nliquor--is in reality never actually sober from one week's end to\nanother. Neither in bodily nor in mental activity is he ever up to what\nshould be his normal level.\n\nThat this fair inference from laboratory experiments may be\ndemonstrated in a thoroughly practical field, has been shown by\nProfessor Aschaffenburg himself, through a series of tests made on\nfour professional typesetters. The tests were made with all the rigor\nof the psychological laboratory (the experimenter is a former pupil\nof Kraepelin), but they were conducted in a printing office, where\nthe subjects worked at their ordinary desks, and in precisely the\nordinary way, except that the copy from which the type was set was\nalways printed, to secure perfect uniformity. The author summarizes the\nresults of the experiment as follows:\n\n\n_A Loss of Ten Per Cent. in Working Efficiency_\n\n\"The experiment extended over four days. The first and third days were\nobserved as normal days, no alcohol being given. On the second and\nfourth days each worker received thirty-five grams (a little more than\none ounce) of alcohol, in the form of Greek wine. A comparison of the\nresults of work on normal and on alcoholic days showed, in the case\nof one of the workers, no difference. But the remaining three showed\ngreater or less retardation of work, amounting in the most pronounced\ncase to almost fourteen per cent. As typesetting is paid for by\nmeasure, such a worker would actually earn ten per cent. less on days\nwhen he consumed even this small quantity of alcohol.\"\n\nIn the light of such observations, a glass of beer or even the cheapest\nbottle of wine is seen to be an expensive luxury. To forfeit ten per\ncent. of one's working efficiency is no trifling matter in these days\nof strenuous competition. Perhaps it should be noted that the subjects\nof the experiment were all men habituated to the use of liquor, one\nof them being accustomed to take four glasses of beer each week day,\nand eight or ten on Sundays. This heaviest drinker was the one whose\nwork was most influenced in the experiment just related. The one whose\nwork was least influenced was the only one of the four who did not\nhabitually drink beer every day; and he drank regularly on Sundays. It\ngoes without saying that all abstained from beer during the experiment.\nWe may note, further, that all the men admitted that they habitually\nfound it more difficult to work on Mondays, after the over-indulgence\nof Sunday, than on other days, and that they made more mistakes on\nthat day. Aside from that, however, the men were by no means disposed\nto admit, before the experiment, that their habitual use of beer\ninterfered with their work. That it really did so could not well be\ndoubted after the experiment.\n\n\n_The Effect of Beer-drinking on German School-children_\n\nSome doubly significant observations as to the practical effects\nof beer and wine in dulling the faculties were made by Bayer, who\ninvestigated the habits of 591 children in a public school in Vienna.\nThese pupils were ranked by their teachers into three groups, denoting\nprogress as \"good,\" \"fair,\" or \"poor\" respectively. Bayer found, on\ninvestigation, that 134 of these pupils took no alcoholic drink; that\n164 drank alcoholics very seldom; but that 219 drank beer or wine once\ndaily; 71 drank it twice daily; and three drank it with every meal.\nOf the total abstainers, 42 per cent. ranked in the school as \"good,\"\n49 per cent. as \"fair,\" and 9 per cent. as \"poor.\" Of the occasional\ndrinkers, 34 per cent. ranked as \"good,\" 57 per cent. as \"fair,\" and\n9 per cent. as \"poor.\" Of the daily drinkers, 28 per cent. ranked as\n\"good,\" 58 per cent. as \"fair,\" and 14 per cent. as \"poor.\" Those\nwho drank twice daily ranked 25 per cent. \"good,\" 58% \"fair,\" and 18\nper cent. \"poor,\" Of the three who drank thrice daily, one ranked\nas \"fair,\" and the other two as \"poor.\" Statistics of this sort are\nrather tiresome; but these will repay a moment's examination. As\nAschaffenburg, from whom I quote them, remarks, detailed comment is\nsuperfluous: the figures speak for themselves.\n\nNeither in England nor America, fortunately, would it be possible to\ngather statistics comparable to these as to the effects of alcohol on\ngrowing children; for the Anglo-Saxon does not believe in alcohol for\nthe child, whatever his view as to its utility for adults. The effects\nof alcohol upon the growing organism have, however, been studied\nhere with the aid of subjects drawn from lower orders of the animal\nkingdom. Professor C. F. Hodge, of Clark University, gave alcohol to\ntwo kittens, with very striking results. \"In beginning the experiment,\"\nhe says, \"it was remarkable how quickly and completely all the higher\npsychic characteristics of both the kittens dropped out. Playfulness,\npurring, cleanliness and care of coat, interest in mice, fear of dogs,\nwhile normally developed before the experiment began, all disappeared\nso suddenly that it could hardly be explained otherwise than as a\ndirect influence of the alcohol upon the higher centers of the brain.\nThe kittens simply ate and slept, and could scarcely have been less\nactive had the greater part of their cerebral hemisphere been removed\nby the knife.\"\n\n\n_The Development of Fear in Alcoholized Dogs_\n\nProfessor Hodge's experiments extended also to dogs. He found that the\nalcoholized dogs in his kennel were lacking in spontaneous activity\nand in alertness in retrieving a ball. These defects must be in part\nexplained by lack of cerebral energy, in part by weakening of the\nmuscular system. Various other symptoms were presented that showed the\nlowered tone of the entire organism under the influence of alcohol;\nbut perhaps the most interesting phenomenon was the development of\nextreme timidity on the part of all the alcoholized dogs. The least\nthing out of the ordinary caused them to exhibit fear, while their\nkennel companions exhibited only curiosity or interest. \"Whistles and\nbells, in the distance, never ceased to throw them into a panic in\nwhich they howled and yelped while the normal dogs simply barked.\" One\nof the dogs even had \"paroxysms of causeless fear with some evidence of\nhallucination. He would apparently start at some imaginary object, and\ngo into fits of howling.\"\n\nThe characteristic timidity of the alcoholized dogs did not altogether\ndisappear even when they no longer received alcohol in their diet.\nTimidity had become with them a \"habit of life.\" As Professor Hodge\nsuggests, we are here apparently dealing with \"one of the profound\nphysiological causes of fear, having wide application to its phenomena\nin man. Fear is commonly recognized as a characteristic feature in\nalcoholic insanity, and delirium tremens is the most terrible form\nof fear psychosis known,\" The development of the same psychosis, in\na modified degree, through the continued use of small quantities of\nalcohol, emphasizes the causal relation between the use of alcohol\nand the genesis of timidity. It shows how pathetically mistaken is\nthe popular notion that alcohol inspires courage; and, to anyone who\nclearly appreciates the share courage plays in the battle of life, it\nsuggests yet another lamentable way in which alcohol handicaps its\ndevotees.\n\n\n_Is Alcohol A Poison?_\n\nIt is perhaps hardly necessary to cite further experiments directly\nshowing the depressing effects of alcohol, even in small quantities,\nupon the mental activities, Whoever examines the evidence in its\nentirety will scarcely avoid the conclusion reached by Smith, as\nthe result of his experiments already referred to, which Dr. Abel\nsummarizes thus: \"One half to one bottle of wine, or two to four\nglasses of beer a day, not only counteract the beneficial effects\nof 'practice' in any given occupation, but also depress every form\nof intellectual activity; therefore every man, who, according to\nhis own notions, is only a moderate drinker places himself by this\nindulgence on a lower intellectual level and opposes the full and\ncomplete utilization of his intellectual powers.\" I content myself with\nrepeating that, to the thoughtful man, the beer and the wine must seem\ndear at such a price.\n\nTo any one who may reply that he is willing to pay this price for\nthe sake of the pleasurable emotions and passions that are sometimes\npermitted to hold sway in the absence of those higher faculties of\nreason which alcohol tends to banish, I would suggest that there is\nstill another aspect of the account which we have not as yet examined.\nWe have seen that alcohol may be a potent disturber of the functions\nof digestion, of muscular activity, and of mental energizing. But we\nhave spoken all along of function and not of structure. We have not\neven raised a question as to what might be the tangible effects of\nthis disturber of functions upon the physical organism through which\nthese functions are manifested. We must complete our inquiry by asking\nwhether alcohol, in disturbing digestion, may not leave its mark upon\nthe digestive apparatus; whether in disturbing the circulation it may\nnot put its stamp upon heart and blood vessels; whether in disturbing\nthe mind it may not leave some indelible record on the tissues of the\nbrain.\n\nStated otherwise, the question is this: Is alcohol a poison to the\nanimal organism? A poison being, in the ordinary acceptance of the\nword, an agent that may injuriously affect the tissues of the body, and\ntend to shorten life.\n\nStudents of pathology answer this question with no uncertain voice.\nThe matter is presented in a nutshell by the Professor of Pathology at\nJohns Hopkins University, Dr. William H. Welch, when he says: \"Alcohol\nin sufficient quantities is a poison to all living organisms, both\nanimal and vegetable.\" To that unequivocal pronouncement there is, I\nbelieve, no dissenting voice, except that a word-quibble was at one\ntime raised over the claim that alcohol in exceedingly small doses\nmight be harmless. The obvious answer is that the same thing is true of\nany and every poison whatsoever. Arsenic and strychnine, in appropriate\ndoses, are recognized by all physicians as admirable tonics; but no one\nargues in consequence that they are not virulent poisons.\n\nOpen any work on the practice of medicine quite at random, and whether\nyou chance to read of diseased stomach or heart or blood-vessels\nor liver or kidneys or muscles or connective tissues or nerves or\nbrain--it is all one: in any case you will learn that alcohol may be\nan active factor in the causation, and a retarding factor in the cure,\nof some, at least, of the important diseases of the organ or set of\norgans about which you are reading. You will rise with the conviction\nthat alcohol is not merely a poison, but the most subtle, the most\nfar-reaching, and, judged by its ultimate effects, incomparably the\nmost virulent of all poisons.\n\n\n_Alcohol and Disease_\n\nHere are a few corroborative facts, stated baldly, almost at random:\nRauber found that a ten per cent. solution of alcohol \"acted as a\ndefinite protoplasmic poison to all forms of cell life with which he\nexperimented--including the hydra, tapeworms, earthworms, leeches,\ncrayfish, various species of fish, Mexican axolotl, and mammals,\nincluding the human subject.\" Berkely found, in four rabbits out\nof five in which he had induced chronic alcohol poisoning, fatty\ndegeneration of the heart muscle. This condition, he says, \"seems to be\npresent in all animals subject to a continual administration of alcohol\nin which sufficient time between the doses is not allowed for complete\nelimination.\" Cowan finds that alcoholic cases \"bear acute diseases\nbadly, failure of the heart always ensuing at an earlier period than\none would anticipate.\" Bollinger found the beer-drinkers of Munich\nso subject to hypertrophied or dilated hearts as to justify Liebe in\ndeclaring that \"one man in sixteen in Munich drinks himself to death.\"\n\nDr. Sims Woodhead, Professor of Pathology in the University of\nCambridge, says of the effect of alcohol on the heart: \"In addition\nto the fatty degeneration of the heart that is so frequently met with\nin chronic alcoholics, there appears in some cases to be an increase\nof fibrous tissue between the muscle fibers, accompanied by wasting\nof these tissues.... Heart failure, one of the most frequent causes\nof death in people of adult and advanced years, is often due to fatty\ndegeneration, and a patient who suffers from alcoholic degeneration\nnecessarily runs a much greater risk of heart failure during the\ncourse of acute fevers or from overwork, exhaustion, and an overloaded\nstomach, and the like, than does the man with a strong, healthy heart\nunaffected by alcohol or similar poisons.\"\n\nIt must be obvious that these words give a clue to the agency of\nalcohol in shortening the lives of tens of thousands of persons with\nwhose decease the name of alcohol is never associated in the minds of\ntheir friends or in the death certificates.\n\nDr. Woodhead has this to say about the blood-vessels: \"In chronic\nalcoholism in which the poison is acting continuously, over a long\nperiod, a peculiar fibrous condition of the vessels is met with; this,\napparently, is the result of a slight irritation of the connective\ntissue of the walls of these vessels. The wall of the vessel may become\nthickened throughout its whole extent or irregularly, and the muscular\ncoat may waste away as a new fibrous or scar-like tissue is formed. The\nwasting muscles may undergo fatty degeneration, and, in these, lime\nsalts may be deposited; the rigid, brittle, so-called pipestem vessels\nare the result.\" Referring to these degenerated arteries, Dr. Welch\nsays: \"In this way alcoholic excess may stand in a causative relation\nto cerebral disorders, such as apoplexy and paralysis, and also the\ndiseases of the heart and kidneys.\"\n\nFrom our present standpoint it is particularly worthy of remark that\nProfessor Woodhead states that this calcification of the blood-vessels\nis likely to occur in persons who have never been either habitual\nor occasional drunkards, but who have taken only \"what they are\npleased to call 'moderate' quantities of alcohol.\" Similarly, Dr.\nWelch declares that \"alcoholic diseases are certainly not limited\nto persons recognized as drunkards. Instances have been recorded in\nincreasing number in recent years of the occurrence of diseases of\nthe circulatory, renal, and nervous systems, reasonably or positively\nattributable to the use of alcoholic liquors, in persons who never\nbecame really intoxicated and were regarded by themselves and by others\nas 'moderate drinkers.'\"\n\n\"It is well established,\" adds Dr. Welch, \"that the general mortality\nfrom diseases of the liver, kidney, heart, blood-vessels, and nervous\nsystem is much higher in those following occupations which expose them\nto the temptation of drinking than in others.\" Strumpell declares that\nchronic inflammation of the stomach and bowels is almost exclusively\nof alcoholic origin; and that when a man in the prime of life dies of\ncertain chronic kidney affections, one may safely infer that he has\nbeen a lover of beer and other alcoholic drinks. Similarly, cirrhosis\nof the liver is universally recognized as being, nine times in ten, of\nalcoholic origin. The nervous affections of like origin are numerous\nand important, implicating both brain cells and peripheral fibres.\n\n\n_How the Poison Works_\n\nWithout going into further details as to the precise changes that\nalcohol may effect in the various organs of the body, we may note\nthat these pathological changes are everywhere of the same general\ntype. There is an ever-present tendency to destroy the higher form of\ncells--those that are directly concerned with the vital processes--and\nto replace them with useless or harmful connective tissue. \"Whether\nthis scar tissue formation goes on in the heart, in the kidneys, in\nthe liver, in the blood-vessels, or in the nerves,\" says Woodhead,\n\"the process is essentially the same, and it must be associated with\nthe accumulation of poisonous or waste products in the lymph spaces\nthrough which the nutrient fluids pass to the tissues. The contracting\nscar tissue of a wound has its exact homologue in the contracting scar\ntissue that is met with in the liver, in the kidney, and in the brain.\"\n\nIt is not altogether pleasant to think that one's bodily tissues--from\nthe brain to the remotest nerve fibril, from the heart to the minutest\narteriole--may perhaps be undergoing day by day such changes as these.\nYet that is the possibility which every habitual drinker of alcoholic\nbeverages--\"moderate drinker\" though he be--must face. This is an added\ntoll that does not appear in the first price of the glass of beer or\nbottle of wine, but it is a toll that may refuse to be overlooked in\nthe final accounting.\n\n\n_Alcohol and Acute Infections_\n\nIn connection with experiments in rendering animals and men immune\nfrom certain contagious diseases through inoculation with specific\nserums, Delearde, working in Calmette's laboratory in Lille, showed\nthat alcoholized rabbits are not protected by inoculation, as normal\nones are, against hydrophobia. Moreover, he reports the case of\nan intemperate man, bitten by a mad dog, who died notwithstanding\nanti-rabic treatment, whereas a boy of thirteen, much more severely\nbitten by the same dog on the same day, recovered under treatment.\nDelearde strongly advises any one bitten by a mad dog to abstain from\nalcohol, not only during the anti-rabic treatment but for some months\nthereafter, lest the alcohol counteract the effects of the protective\nserum.\n\nSimilar laboratory experiments have been made by Laitenan, who became\nfully convinced that alcohol increases the susceptibility of animals to\nsplenic fever, tuberculosis, and diphtheria. Dr. A. C. Abbott, of the\nUniversity of Pennsylvania, made an elaborate series of experiments to\ntest the susceptibility of rabbits to various micro-organisms causing\npus-formation and blood poisoning. He found that the normal resistance\nof rabbits to infection from this source was in most cases \"markedly\ndiminished through the influence of alcohol when given daily to a stage\nof acute intoxication.\" \"It is interesting to note,\" Dr. Abbott adds,\n\"that the results of inoculation of the alcoholized rabbits with the\nerysipelas coccus correspond in a way with clinical observations on\nhuman beings addicted to the excessive use of alcohol when infected by\nthis organism.\"\n\nAdditional confirmation of the deleterious effects of alcohol in this\nconnection was furnished by the cats and dogs of Professor Hodge's\nexperiments, already referred to. All of these showed peculiar\nsusceptibility to infectious diseases, not only being attacked earlier\nthan their normal companions, but also suffering more severely, This\naccords with numerous observations on the human subject; for example,\nwith the claim made some years ago by McCleod and Milles that Europeans\nin Shanghai who used alcohol showed increased susceptibility to Asiatic\ncholera, and suffered from a more virulent type of the disease.\nProfessor Woodhead points out that many of the foremost authorities now\nconcede the justice of this view, and unreservedly condemn the giving\nof alcohol, even in medicinal doses, to patients suffering from cholera\nor from various other acute diseases and intoxications, including\ndiphtheria, tetanus, snake-bite, and pneumonia, as being not merely\nuseless but positively harmful. Even when the patient has advanced far\ntoward recovery from an acute infectious disease, it is held still\nto be highly unwise to administer alcohol, since this may interfere\nwith the beneficent action of the anti-toxins that have developed in\nthe tissues of the body, and in virtue of which the disease has been\novercome.\n\n\n_The Ally of Tuberculosis_\n\nNot many physicians, perhaps, will go so far as Dr. Muirhead of\nEdinburgh, who at one time claimed that he had scarcely known of a\ndeath in a case of pneumonia uncomplicated by alcoholism; but almost\nevery physician will admit that he contemplates with increased\nsolicitude every case of pneumonia thus complicated. Equally potent,\nseemingly, is alcohol in complicating that other ever-menacing lung\ndisease, tuberculosis. Dr. Crothers long ago asserted that inebriety\nand tuberculosis are practically interconvertible conditions; a view\nthat may be interpreted in the words of Dr. Dickinson's Baillie\nLecture: \"We may conclude, and that confidently, that alcohol\npromotes tubercle, not because it begets the bacilli, but because it\nimpairs the tissues, and makes them ready to yield to the attacks\nof the parasites.\" Dr. Brouardel, at the Congress for the Study of\nTuberculosis, in London, was equally emphatic as to the influence of\nalcohol in preparing the way for tuberculosis, and increasing its\nvirulence; and this view has now become general--curiously reversing\nthe popular impression, once held by the medical profession as well,\nthat alcohol is antagonistic to consumption.\n\nCorroborative evidence of the baleful alliance between alcohol and\ntuberculosis is furnished by the fact that in France the regions\nwhere tuberculosis is most prevalent correspond with those in which\nthe consumption of alcohol is greatest. Where the average annual\nconsumption was 12.5 litres per person, the death rate from consumption\nwas found by Baudron to be 32.8 per thousand. Where alcoholic\nconsumption rose to 35.4 litres, the death rate from consumption\nincreased to 107.8 per thousand. Equally suggestive are facts put\nforward by Guttstadt in regard to the causes of death in the various\ncallings in Prussia. He found that tuberculosis claimed 160 victims\nin every thousand deaths of persons over twenty-five years of age.\nBut the number of deaths from this disease per thousand deaths among\ngymnasium teachers, physicians, and Protestant clergymen, for example,\namounted respectively to 126, 113, and 76 only; whereas the numbers\nrose, for hotelkeepers, to 237, for brewers, to 344, and for waiters,\nto 556. No doubt several factors complicate the problem here, but one\nhazards little in suggesting that a difference of habit as to the use\nof alcohol was the chief determinant in running up the death rate due\nto tuberculosis from 76 per thousand at one end of the scale to 556 at\nthe other.\n\nPneumonia and tuberculosis combined account for one-fifth of all deaths\nin the United States, year by year. In the light of what has just been\nshown, it would appear that alcohol here has a hand in the carrying\noff of other untold thousands with whose untimely demise its name is\nnot officially associated. I may add that certain German authorities,\nincluding, for example, Dr. Liebe, present evidence--not as yet\ndemonstrative--to show that cancer must also be added to the list of\ndiseases to which alcohol predisposes the organism.\n\n\n_Hereditary Effects of Alcohol_\n\nIf additional evidence of the all-pervading influence of alcohol is\nrequired, it may be found in the thought-compelling fact that the\neffects are not limited to the individual who imbibes the alcohol, but\nmay be passed on to his descendants. The offspring of alcoholics show\nimpaired vitality of the most deep-seated character. Sometimes this\nimpaired vitality is manifested in the non-viability of the offspring;\nsometimes in deformity; very frequently in neuroses, which may take the\nsevere forms of chorea, infantile convulsions, epilepsy, or idiocy. In\nexamining into the history of 2554 idiotic, epileptic, hysterical, or\nweak-minded children in the institution at Bicetre, France, Bourneville\nfound that over 41 per cent. had alcoholic parents. In more than 9 per\ncent. of the cases, it was ascertained that one or both parents were\nunder the influence of alcohol at the time of procreation,--a fact\nof positively terrifying significance, when we reflect how alcohol\ninflames the passions while subordinating the judgment and the ethical\nscruples by which these passions are normally held in check. Of\nsimilar import are the observations of Bezzola and of Hartmann that\na large proportion of the idiots and the criminals in Switzerland\nwere conceived during the season of the year when the customs of the\ncountry--\"May-fests,\" etc.--lead to the disproportionate consumption of\nalcohol.\n\nExperimental evidence of very striking character is furnished by the\nreproductive histories of Professor Hodge's alcoholized dogs. Of 23\nwhelps born in four litters to a pair of tipplers, 9 were born dead, 8\nwere deformed, and only 4 were viable and seemingly normal. Meantime, a\npair of normal kennel-companions produced 45 whelps, of which 41 were\nviable and normal--a percentage of 90.2 against the 17.4 per cent. of\nviable alcoholics. Professor Hodge points out that these results are\nstrikingly similar to the observations of Demme on the progeny of ten\nalcoholic as compared with ten normal families of human beings. The ten\nalcoholic families produced 57 children, of whom 10 were deformed, 6\nidiotic, 6 choreic or epileptic, 25 non-viable, and only 10, or 17 per\ncent, of the whole were normal. The ten normal families produced 61\nchildren, two of whom were deformed, 2 pronounced \"backward,\" though\nnot suffering from disease, and 3 non-viable, leaving 54, or 88.5 per\ncent., normal.\n\nAs I am writing this article, the latest report of the Craig Colony for\nEpileptics, at Sonyea, New York, chances to come to my desk. Glancing\nat the tables of statistics, I find that the superintendent, Dr.\nSpratling, reports a history of alcoholism in the parents of 313 out\nof 950 recent cases. More than 22 per cent. of these unfortunates are\nthus suffering from the mistakes of their parents. Nor does this by any\nmeans tell the whole story, for the report shows that 577 additional\ncases--more than 60 per cent, of the whole--suffer from \"neuropathic\nheredity\"; which means that their parents were themselves the victims\nof one or another of those neuroses that are peculiarly heritable, and\nthat unquestionably tell, in a large number of cases, of alcoholic\nindulgence on the part of their progenitors. \"Even to the third and\nfourth generation,\" said the wise Hebrew of old; and the laws of\nheredity have not changed since then.\n\nI cite the data from this report of the Epileptic Colony, not because\nits record is in any way exceptional, but because it is absolutely\ntypical. The mental image that it brings up is precisely comparable\nto that which would arise were we to examine the life histories of\nthe inmates of any institution whatever where dependent or delinquent\nchildren are cared for, be it idiot asylum, orphanage, hospital, or\nreformatory. The same picture, with the same insistent moral, would be\nbefore us could we visit a clinic where nervous diseases are treated;\nor--turning to the other end of the social scale--could we sit in the\noffice of a fashionable specialist in nervous diseases and behold the\nsuccession of neurotics, epileptics, paralytics, and degenerates that\ncome day by day under his observation. It is this picture, along with\nothers which the preceding pages may in some measure have suggested,\nthat comes to mind and will not readily be banished when one hears\nadvocated \"on physiological grounds\" the regular use of alcoholic\ndrinks, \"in moderation.\" A vast number of the misguided individuals\nwho were responsible for all this misery never did use alcohol except\nin what they believed to be strict \"moderation\"; and of those that did\nuse it to excess, there were few indeed who could not have restricted\ntheir use of alcohol to moderate quantities, or have abandoned its use\naltogether, had not the drug itself made them its slaves by depriving\nthem of all power of choice. Few men indeed are voluntary inebriates.\n\n\n_Alcohol and the \"Moderate\" Drinker_\n\nIt does not fall within the scope of my present purpose to dwell upon\nthe familiar aspect of the effects of alcohol suggested by the last\nsentence. It requires no scientific experiments to prove that one of\nthe subtlest effects of this many-sided drug is to produce a craving\nfor itself, while weakening the will that could resist that craving.\nBut beyond noting that this is precisely in line with what we have\neverywhere seen to be the typical effect of alcohol--the weakening of\nhigher functions and faculties, with corresponding exaggeration of\nlower ones--I shall not comment here upon this all too familiar phase\nof the alcohol problem. Throughout this paper I have had in mind the\nhidden cumulative effects of relatively small quantities of alcohol\nrather than the patent effects of excessive indulgence, I have had in\nmind the voluntary \"social\" drinker, rather than the drunkard. I have\nwished to raise a question in the mind of each and every habitual user\nof alcohol in \"moderation\" who chances to read this article, as to\nwhether he is acting wisely in using alcohol habitually in any quantity\nwhatever.\n\nIf in reply the reader shall say: \"There is some quantity of alcohol\nthat constitutes actual moderation; some quantity that will give me\npleasure and yet not menace me with these evils,\" I answer thus:\n\nConceivably that is true, though it is not proved. But in any event,\nno man can tell you what the safe quantity is--if safe quantity there\nbe--in any individual case. We have seen how widely individuals\ndiffer in susceptibility. In the laboratory some animals are killed\nby doses that seem harmless to their companions. These are matters of\ntemperament that as yet elude explanation. But this much I can predict\nwith confidence: whatever the \"safe\" quantity of alcohol for you to\ntake, you will unquestionably at times exceed it. In a tolerably wide\nexperience of men of many nations, I have never known an habitual\ndrinker who did not sometimes take more alcohol than even the most\nliberal scientific estimate could claim as harmless. Therefore I\nbelieve that you must do the same.\n\nSo I am bound to believe, on the evidence, that if you take alcohol\nhabitually, in any quantity whatever, it is to some extent a menace to\nyou. I am bound to believe, in the light of what science has revealed:\n(1) that you are tangibly threatening the physical structures of your\nstomach, your liver, your kidneys, your heart, your blood-vessels,\nyour nerves, your brain; (2) that you are unequivocally decreasing\nyour capacity for work in any field, be it physical, intellectual, or\nartistic; (3) that you are in some measure lowering the grade of your\nmind, dulling your higher esthetic sense, and taking the finer edge\noff your morals; (4) that you are distinctly lessening your chances\nof maintaining health and attaining longevity; and (5) that you may\nbe entailing upon your descendants yet unborn a bond of incalculable\nmisery.\n\nSuch, I am bound to believe, is the probable cost of your \"moderate\"\nindulgence in alcoholic beverages. Part of that cost you must pay in\nperson; the balance will be the heritage of future generations. As a\nmere business proposition: Is your glass of beer, your bottle of wine,\nyour high-ball, or your cocktail worth such a price?\n\n\n\n\n  [Illustration]\n\nEDITORIALS\n\nTHE PEASANT SALOON-KEEPER--RULER OF AMERICAN CITIES\n\n  [Illustration]\n\n\nThe great wave of temperance which is now sweeping Europe and America\nhas its chief impulse, no doubt, in ethical and religious sentiment.\nBut a new force is operative--the force of an exact knowledge of the\nevil physical effects of alcohol. It would be impossible to exaggerate\nthe importance of this new element in temperance reform.\n\nThe story of the modern series of scientific experiments with alcohol,\nbegun about twenty-five years ago and still in progress, is given by\nDr. Henry Smith Williams in this number of MCCLURE'S MAGAZINE.\nThese investigations, largely conducted in Continental Europe, include\nexperiments on the senses, upon the muscles, and upon the different\nhuman intellectual activities, from the simplest to the most complex.\nWithout exception they show that every function of the normal human\nbody is injured by the use of alcohol--even the moderate use; and that\nthe injury is both serious and permanent.\n\nThis knowledge is of concern to all the world. But there is in America\na particular and special concern over a condition which may be believed\nto be unparalleled in human history--certainly in modern civilization:\nthe power of the saloon in American government, especially the\ngovernment of cities.\n\nThe fact is notorious; yet the condition is not clearly understood.\nSixty years ago, with the first flood of European immigration, the\ncharacter of American city governments changed suddenly and entirely.\nA great proportion of the peasantry who arrived here from the farms of\nEurope stopped in our cities. They were isolated from the rest of the\npopulation; their one great social center was the saloon. And out of\nthis social center came their political leaders and the manipulators of\ntheir votes. The European peasant saloon-keeper, for more than half a\ncentury, has been the ruler of a great proportion of American cities.\n\nThe case of Tammany Hall, for so many years the real governing body of\nNew York, is most familiar. Its politicians for half a century have\ngraduated into public affairs through the common school of the saloon.\nIts leaders at the present time are perfect examples of the European\npeasant saloon-keeper type, which has come to govern us. The same\ncondition exists to a large extent in nearly every one of the larger\ncities in the country. An analysis of the member-ship of the boards of\naldermen in these cities for the past few decades shows a percentage of\nsaloon-keepers with foreign names which is astonishing.\n\nA government necessarily takes the character of those conducting it.\nThe business of saloon-keeping, which produced the present management\nof our cities, involves, from the conditions which surround it, a\ndisregard for both law and proper moral ideals. Ordinary commercial\nmotives urge the proprietors, as a class, to increase the sale of a\ncommodity which the State everywhere endeavors to restrict; and a\nsavage condition of competition drives them still further--till a\ngreat proportion break the provisions of the law in some way; while\na considerable number ally themselves with the most degraded and\ndangerous forms of vice.\n\nThe government by this class has been exactly what might have been\nexpected. A body of men--drawn from an ancestry which has never\npossessed any knowledge or traditions of free government; educated in\na business whose financial successes are made through the disregard of\nlaw--are elevated to the control of the machinery of law and order in\nthe great cities. Another type of citizen--men of force and enterprise\nunsurpassed in the history of the world--by adapting the discoveries of\nthe most inventive century of the world to the uses of commerce, have\nmassed together in the past half century a chain of great cities upon\nthe face of a half savage continent, and left them to the government\nof such people as these. The commercial enterprise of these cities has\nbeen the marvel of the world; their government has reached a point of\nmoral degradation and inefficiency scarcely less than Oriental.\n\nThe debauching of our city life by this kind of government has been\nfrequently pictured in this magazine. A government by saloon-keepers,\nand by dealers in flagrant immorality, finds both its power and profit\nin the establishment of vice by its official position. The progress of\nsuch a government is shown in George Kennan's description of the former\nregime in San Francisco, published in MCCLURE'S MAGAZINE of\nSeptember, 1907:\n\n\"Instead of protecting the public by enforcing the laws, it devoted\nitself mainly to making money by allowing gamblers, policy-sellers,\nbrothel keepers, and prostitutes to break the laws. Its honest\nofficers and men tried, at first, to do their duty; but the police\ncommissioners, under the influence or direction of Ruef, interfered\nwith their efforts to close illegal and immoral resorts; the police\ncourt judges, allowing themselves to be swayed by selfish political\nconsiderations, released the prisoners whom they arrested.\"\n\nConditions similar to this have been shown in this magazine to exist\nin New York, Chicago, St. Louis, Pittsburg, and other great cities\nof America. The results have been a general disintegration in the\nmoral fiber of cities. Life itself is much more unsafe than under the\nwell-ordered governments of European cities. The murder rate in Chicago\nand New York is six or eight times as great as in London and Berlin.\nEven such a primary necessity of civilization as the safety of women is\nlost sight of. A leading Chicago newspaper said in 1906:\n\n\"It has ever been our proudest boast as a people that in this country\nwoman is respected and protected as she is in no other. That boast is\nbecoming an empty one in Chicago. Women have not only been annoyed and\ninsulted in great numbers on the street within a very short time, but\nnot a few have been murdered. In the year before the Hollister tragedy,\nthere were seventeen murders of women in Chicago, which attracted the\nattention of the city.\"\n\nThe system of government which produces this result was well described\nsome years ago by the late Bishop Potter, speaking of conditions in New\nYork.\n\n\"A corrupt system,\" he said, \"whose infamous details have been steadily\nuncovered, to our increasing horror and humiliation, was brazenly\nignored by those who were fattening on its spoils, and the world was\npresented with the astounding spectacle of a great municipality, whose\ncivic mechanism was largely employed in trading in the bodies and\nsouls of the defenseless.\"\n\nAside from giving direct encouragement and propagation to the more\nterrible forms of vice, the European peasant saloon-keeper government\nof our cities furnishes a fitting field for so-called respectable\nmen--but really criminals of the worst type--who help organize and\nperpetuate saloon government for the purpose of securing, by bribery,\nfranchises for public utilities without paying therefor. Thus American\ncities have been robbed as well as badly governed.\n\nThere are signs of amelioration of these conditions in most of the\ngreat cities of the country. But every advance is made against the\nfierce antagonism of just such systems as Bishop Potter described;\nand those systems exist in every large American city to-day--either\nin direct control or ready to take control at the slightest sign of\nrelaxation by the forces which are opposing them. And the foundation of\nthis evil structure is the European peasant saloon-keeper.\n\nMCCLURE'S MAGAZINE, in the next year, will consider the\nhorrible influence of the saloon on American life. Dr. Williams will\nfollow his article in the present number by studies of the influence of\nalcohol upon society at large, upon racial development, and upon the\nState. The author is especially equipped for his work. He is in the\nfirst place perhaps the greatest living popularizer of national science\nand history in America; and he has himself made life-long observations\nupon the influence of alcohol--both physical and social--first as\na medical practitioner in the treatment of the insane at the great\nasylums at Bloomingdale and Randalls Island, and later by study and\nobservation in the chief capitals of Europe, where he has lived the\ngreater part of the last ten years. The sound judgment and impartial\ntemper which have characterized his work in other fields will be found\nin his treatment of this great subject.\n\n\n\n\nTHE ELDER STATESMEN\n\n\nSenators Sherman, Hoar, Edmunds, George, and Gray; these were the men\nwho made the present Sherman Anti-trust Law. They were the men who\nmade largely the financial and constitutional history of the United\nStates for the three decades following the Civil War. They brought\nto the consideration of the trust problem an intimate knowledge of\nconstitutional law, an open, unbiased attitude toward property rights,\nand a thorough devotion to the public interest. They gave long and\ncareful attention to the question, spending two years on this bill.\nThere was nothing hasty or ill-considered about their action. They\nsought to end special privilege and put all citizens on the same basis\nof free competition. Of all their great services to the nation none\nprobably equals in importance this bill, which may be called the Magna\nCharta of industrial and commercial liberty.\n\nThe amendment of the Sherman Act may be an important public issue for\nsome time to come. If it were possible to assemble for this work a body\nof men as able and as disinterested as the Elder Statesmen who framed\nthe original act, the interests of the public would be safe.\n\n\n\n\nTranscriber's Note\n\n\nHyphenated words have been retained as in the original text.\n\nTypographical errors have been silently corrected.\n\nOE ligatures have been expanded.\n\n\n\n\n\nEnd of the Project Gutenberg EBook of McClure's Magazine, Vol. XXXI, No. 6,\nOctober, 1908, by Various\n\n*** ","meta":{"redpajama_set_name":"RedPajamaBook"}}