diff --git "a/train .csv" "b/train .csv" new file mode 100644--- /dev/null +++ "b/train .csv" @@ -0,0 +1,17776 @@ +line +line +PROGRAM +PEACE +SelfCare Exercises to Reprogram +Your Mind and Body +JARED EDWARD RESER PuD +Did you know the most dominant apes and monkeys are usually the kindest +They share the most food groom others more often break up fights are slow to +anger and breathe in a relaxed manner Those on the bottom of the social hierarchy +are the opposite They are stingy combative irritable anxious depressed and they +breathe shallowly It is not easy for a submissive primate to become dominant +They have mindsets mannerisms and muscle tension that keep them from +escaping their subordinate social strategy and the chronic stress it produces +All of this generalizes to people If you want to be free of negative emotion you need +to rehabilitate physical trauma in your breath eyes face voice heart gut spine +and brain Program Peace will coach you to do precisely this by first retraining your +breathing pattern and then walking you through dozens of innovative and effective +selfcare exercises After creating new mindsets and mannerisms and learning to +reinvigorate muscles you never knew you had you will find yourself more confident +healthier kinder and reprogrammed for peace +PROGRAM +PEACE +SelfCare Exercises to Reprogram +Your Mind and Body +JARED EDWARD RESER PuD +ISBN Hardcover +ISBN Softcover +Program Peace Press +want the information in this book to be widely available to as many people as possible +That is why the book is not copyrighted All text and illustrations are registered under a +Creative Commons AttributionNonCommercialShareAlike International License It is based +on work on wwwprogrampeacecom and wwwobservedimpulsecom that was first published +in +Anyone may copy and distribute excerpts from this book create new works or otherwise reuse +it noncommercially provided they give credit and license creations under identical terms The +book is available for free as a website and a PDF at wwwprogrampeacecom +Jared Edward Reser PhD +COSO +Table Of Contents +PLePACE ooo ccc ecccceccccsssecceccsseeceeesscsaeececcssseeeecsseeeueessesaaecesesaeseeessneseeeessesaeeeeess +Program Peace Testimonials and Praise +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Optimal Quality of Life Training cccecceereeeeereeees +Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress cccseeees +Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +Recognizing Muscular Tension and Dormant Muscle +Release Tense Muscle with Compression and Massage +Thinking Peacefullly cccccscccssseccssecsseesssseesseeesssaeessaees +Reprogramming Facial Tension ccscccssscssseessteesseees +Compressing Facial Muscles for Composure and Wellbeing +Chapter Perfecting Your Smillecccccccccsscecsseeesseeeesseeesseeeenes +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Breathing Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +Release Vocal Tension ccecceceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeteeeeneeeae +Reprogram Your Posture for PoWEFC cccscceeseeeereees +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +Chapter +Combine Antirigidity with your Exercise Routine +Chapter Antirigidity Exercises for the Neck and Shoulders +Chapter Antirigidity Exercises for the Lower Back +Chapter Use Proper Posture and Antirigidity While Walking +Chapter +Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns cccccscccssseecssseesseeessees +Chapter +Chapter +Chapter +Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior ccccccecee +Chronic Stress the Amygdala and Cortisol +Listen to Your Heart and Gut cccccccccccceeeseseeeeeeeeseeee +Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation ccccee +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict ccscccssceessseeesseeeseeeenee +Chapter +Happiness Is Playfulness Composed Kindness +Chapter Conclusions cccccccsccesssceessceesseeeeseneesseeeeseeeesseeessneeesnes +Preface +About Program Peace +Program Peace is a selfcare system that will guide you through more than activities and +exercises designed to help your body function optimally Organs throughout the human body +learn to function suboptimally due to daily stress strain and negative emotions Even a good +nights sleep doesnt completely reverse these effects and they accumulate over time Stress +especially when chronic dysregulates the nervous system and impairs the performance of the +muscular respiratory and cardiovascular systems The results of these changes are wide +ranging and harmful to our mental and physical health Using the corrective exercises offered +here will help you rehabilitate the damage freeing you from pain and allowing you to feel +comfortable in your own body This system was designed to help you experience more energy +increased selfconfidence improved posture and the ability to breathe freely +Your goal will be to unlearn the submissive and aggressive nonverbal behaviors that cause +us so much stress and to replace them with healthy ways of breathing moving and thinking +The text will explain how stress and physical trauma are rooted in defensive nonverbal behavior +that we share with other mammals and lay out the Program Peace method of overcoming +them Throughout the book combine modern science with my personal experiences to +explain key concepts related to optimal wellbeing Each chapter addresses a different bodily +system and explains why you should use the exercises how they can help you and what you +can expect your progress to look and feel like +A little more background on the book started developing it along with its philosophy on +life morality and healing in early childhood have been working weekly on the present text for +more than years Much of the material in it has been available on my blog for more than ten +years have been training clients to perform the exercises for more than five have read +hundreds of related books and hundreds of scientific journal articles to inform and refine the +content The intended audience is everyone including people without a hint of anxiety or +depression However it is also for physicians psychiatrists psychologists social workers +life coaches personal trainers and other health and wellness professionals looking for safe +effective and free ways to bring about growth and progress in their clients +The Importance of Diaphragmatic Breathing +The Program Peace methodology is applied to organ systems all over the body but begins with +the breath After introducing the method in Chapters and Chapter will teach you how to +breathe in a way that activates the resting and healing division of your nervous system The key +is to breathe with maximal activation of the diaphragm Mammals in a calm and peaceful state +breathe diaphragmatically When they are exposed to adversity they instead breathe without +the diaphragm relying on the breathing muscles in their upper torsos Known as distressed +breathing this is the bodys way of preparing itself for a threatening and hostile environment +Distressed breathing is an integral part of how animals survive in the wild but too much of it +promotes chronic hyperventilation An animal that experiences ongoing mental or emotional +trauma will eventually turn distressed breathing into a deepseated habit Due to how this +affects its brain the animal ends up in constant fear for its life +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Our nervous system will always prioritize shortterm survival over longterm wellbeing as +long as it assumes our environment is dangerous This strategy holds even though it is +completely unnecessary in the modern world where we are rarely in immediate physical +danger Most stcentury humans are stuck in a state of distress because nondiaphragmatic +breathing has been ingrained in their nervous system It convinces their bodies that death may +be imminent dramatically increases muscle tension and results in constant fatigue Non +diaphragmatic breathing may be the primary reason why so many people endure persistent +pain age rapidly experience unceasing negative emotions and can never fully catch +their breath +Like most adult mammals you and have learned to stifle and strain our diaphragm +Cumulatively the nonpeaceful moments in our lives have programmed us to breathe +shallowly Program Peace is designed to teach you how to reverse this by recruiting the +diaphragm with every breath This is the process of transitioning from short shallow breaths to +long deep breaths As your diaphragm strengthens from consistent use its range of motion +increases and your neurological control over it improves allowing you to breathe more deeply +and easily without even trying It will take months but the results are worth it Adopting +diaphragmatic breathing is one of the most significant changes you can make in your life +because your body interprets it as indisputable proof that your environment is friendly +and safe +Shortcomings of This Book +created the reprogramming exercises in this book to heal my anxiety As developed them +thought they were original After researching the details came to find that variations on +some of them already existed in different clinical spiritual and selfimprovement circles It is +difficult to look for precedent in selfhelp literature because it is not organized as well as +academic literature This book focuses on methods rather than recounting a history of past +contributors apologize in advance if have not given proper credit to similar work However +am quite confident that most of the exercises in these chapters cannot be found anywhere else +Some readers may find the technical terms in this book to be overwhelming have tried +my best to make sentences with jargon accessible so that you can get the gist even if you dont +know the word wanted to keep the science in the text for the scienceminded and other +interested parties but please dont get frustrated by it If you encounter some unfamiliar +terminology just power through it and try to enjoy the read There are only a few unfamiliar +words that you will need to memorize because they pop up over and over These include +parasympathetic nervous system developmental plasticity and partial muscular +contraction +The book is very long Skim through it if you have to You can get an overview by reading +the bullet points at the end of each chapter Please take your time reading and dont feel +pressured to finish it or to read it linearly Chapters and may be the most valuable to +people trying to change their breathing By all means dogear the pages highlight text you like +and write your notes in the margins This will increase its usefulness to you and allow you to +more easily reference the passages or exercises you found helpful The book can seem +repetitive at times intentionally structured it this way to get the therapeutic and bigpicture +Preface +messages across from different angles also often use imperative sentences but am not +trying to be bossyjust a helpful coach +These pages contain over illustrations created most of them by tracing photographs +that took Each of the illustrations on the cover of the book corresponds to an analogy in the +text hoped that it would be fun for the reader to uncover the hidden meanings and have a +way to reference some of the major principles of Program Peace at a glance +Much of This Book Is Theoretical +must be clear that much of what is written in this book is speculative have strong convictions +about it coming from scientific knowledge and personal experience However as with much +else in alternative health there is no authority to confirm these hypotheses The writing +alternates between offering personal anecdotes and theories and reporting on clinical findings +and research literature To help readers discern between speculation and fact try to make it +clear which statements are supported by scientific evidence They are often accompanied by a +bibliographical citation of which there are over Many of the uncited claims are my +opinions think of them as unproven but heavily informed by scientific knowledge and based +on a new synthesis of diverse fields +It would be difficult to reach a quick and firm conclusion about the efficacy of the +techniques outlined here Empirically validating clinical methods in psychology often takes +decades It can take just as long in medicine The Program Peace activities and exercises have +not been subjected to controlled largescale experimental studies You cant just assign +randomly selected people to the treatment conditions like you would with drugs and placebos +To benefit from the exercises takes time dedication and discipline that only comes from having +a deep understanding of why and how the exercises are beneficial in the long run Of course +thats exactly what this book attempts to provide +have spent the last ten years stringently testing the exercises In this time have used +myself as a guinea pig to evaluate and hone the techniques Since doing this have trained +dozens of clients in the Program Peace method Working with individuals listening to their +feedback and seeing their bodies and minds transform have given me conviction that the +exercises here can help you hope that as you read about them and perform them yourself +you can see clearly how and why they lead to improvement Even if you never perform any of +the exercises but simply read the book you will learn actionable rules of thumb for maintaining +and improving the condition of your body +This books exercises are subject to validation through your experience am quite +confident you will quickly see and feel results that place you on a path toward expressing your +optimal genetic potential If this book helps enough people it will influence scientists and +doctors in behavioral medicine to look at the proposed methods carefully and further test and +refine them The present copy is merely the first iteration of this book Future revisions will +reflect further user feedback and researchbased findings welcome community criticism and +collaboration also want anyone to feel free to create content based on what is written here +If the program works for you and you think it can help others please share it sincerely hope +that the Program Peace method will be successful in expanding your repertoire of self +regulatory healing practices +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Disclaimer +cannot guarantee that the activities recommended here are completely safe for everyone +Some of them ask you to perturb traumatized areas of the body that could become injured +or lead to any number of medical complications Although most of the activities here are +harmless some have the potential to cause damage if performed incorrectly or by someone +with a preexisting injury or condition The exercises that have the highest potential to cause +harm are noted +The method and accompanying documentation are furnished as is and without warranty +You assume the entire risk as to the results you may obtain by use or misuse of the exercises +Please perform them with caution restraint and common sense Most importantly none of +these exercises should produce pain or discomfort after the exercise is completed If it hurts +afterward or even the next day you are doing it wrong Discontinue participation in any +exercise or activity that causes pain In such an event medical consultation should be obtained +immediately +The materials information and techniques in this book are general in nature reflect the +opinions of Jared Reser and are not intended to be a substitute for medical counsel +The content provided is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose treat +cure or prevent any disease No specific claims are made regarding the treatment of medical +diseases or disorders Always consult your doctor or health care provider before making any +medical decisions Many of the psychological topics brought up here should be explored with +a qualified mental health professional Importantly the Program Peace activities and exercises +are to be used with traditional therapies and not in place of mainstream treatment +How to Support +This entire book was never copyrighted and can be found for free at wwwprogrampeacecom +as a series of webpages and also as a single downloadable PDF chose to selfpublish the +printed version of this book to keep the price as low as possible There is zero profit margin as +the price only covers the printing and distribution costs All illustrations are in the public +domain The dedicated app available for iOS and Android is also free The tutorial videos are +free on YouTube However if you would like to contribute to Program Peace you can do so +through the Patreon link here patreoncomprogrampeace You can also make a donation via +PayPal here paypalmeprogrampeace Your help goes toward future content and updates +Thank you for your consideration To support you can also join or engage with our online +community Find us on Instagram programpeace Twitter programpeace +and Facebook and YouTube just type in Program Peace +Acknowledgments +express my gratitude to my brother William Reser and my parents Daniel Reser and Paula +Freund for fruitful and encouraging discussions would especially like to thank my mother for +providing incisive feedback on the manuscript Special thanks to Tyran Grillo PhD Matt Harvey +PhD and Beverly Gearreald each of whom edited multiple chapters Any remaining mistakes +are my own Thank you to Laura Duffy Design for help with the book cover want to thank my +friends clients and all the people who have written emails posted comments and made other +Preface +contributions to this work greatly appreciate the thoughtful insights and criticisms of +everyone who has been involved and dedicate this book to these cherished friends +About the Author +Jared Edward Reser has been developing the Program Peace exercises for over a decade +He holds a PhD and Masters degree in brain and cognitive science from the University of +Southern California He also has a Masters in psychology from Pepperdine University He has +been certified as a personal trainer and health coach He specializes in writing theoretical +research articles and emphasizes an interdisciplinary approach to integrative biology +cognitive neuroscience and artificial intelligence You can find out more about his research at +httpwwwjaredresercom +Welcome to Program Peace +Jared Edward Reser PhD +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Program Peace Testimonials and Praise +The following are unsolicited message board comments about Program Peace +Anonymous +found this site several months ago and it has been such a blessing Your method sounded too +good to be true but it made perfect sense and it worked Thank you so much for sharing this +with us +Andrew S +After looking through the techniques used in this article knew there was something to +thisSo started doing it myself days a week for about half an hour and it works +Jinu G +had immediate relief am going to try this every day +Jennifer L +Wow So happy to finally find a resource about all of this Seriouslythis is a life changer +Thank you +Dalia M +Wow Just wow just went through the whole routine and my splitting headache has been +relieved This is my new favorite thing to do Thank you +Jill +bet Im clearing away all sorts of garbage actually feel clear headed like brain fog is just +going away cant wait to keep going This is profound +Anonymous +Fantastic instant relief +Jay M +This has caused me a great deal of depression and anxiety in the past years of my life Now I +feel that a huge weight has been lifted cant wait to continue with this for the rest of my life +Brian S +Suffice to say that finding your website has been an absolute godsend In the past had never +found a guide that actually taught me how to breathe diaphragmatically and not just faking it +with stomach movement Within a few months practice have experienced a massive reduction +in all negative emotions feel substantially happier healthier and more like myself +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +My experience with chronic stress was an extreme version of the same issue that everyone on +this planet contends with Thus recounting my story of recovery provides a vivid case study +with which to compare your experience It also allows me to describe how the Program Peace +exercises relieved my symptoms so that you can see how they can relieve yours My symptoms +were pretty bad +My breathing was shallow and rapid My eyebrows were constantly raised was always +squinting and had purple creases under my eyes couldnt maintain eye contact for long before +my eyes would dart away of their own accord had an enduring lump in my throat and a +hoarse and high voice had persistent kinks in my neck tweaks in my lower back and a +clenched jaw mumbled and stammered when spoke held my breath during conversations +gasped between sentences and looked at the floor when speaking had almost no capacity to +glare frown flare my nostrils or straighten my neck in the company of others +Throughout my twenties was deeply afflicted by anxiety depression and bodily +discomfort was unaware that the symptoms described in the previous paragraph were causal +factors in this discomfort All knew is that felt perpetually distressed and couldnt figure out +why The feeling would not abate and was resulting in chronic lowgrade pain This made me +wonder Where in my body do hold this pain and how can access and extinguish it found +the physical manifestations of my stress to be completely elusive tried many different clinical +and alternative methods to improve my condition without success Popular breathing exercises +medical recommendations psychological therapy and stress reduction programs did nothing +for me So began experimenting on myself using methods derived from my knowledge of +social cognition neuroplasticity and mammalian biology The result was a system designed to +train the body to reflect an optimal environment +The core idea is this Had you been raised in a perfect world with zero negativity the way +you hold your body would be painless and symptomfree But no one is raised in an ideal world +Our spines facial muscles breathing musculature and brains have internalized trauma over our +life course Trillions of individual cells are altered on a molecular level The alterations cause +muscles and soft tissues throughout the body to become stiff and sore These insidious changes +rob us of our composure and put us in a metaphorical straitjacket That straitjacket constricts +more and more with the passage of time Left unchecked it fits a little tighter every day +until death The system presented here will teach you how to recompose yourself to escape +this stranglehold +This book presents activities and exercises for you to practice each accompanied by +relevant scientific background for perspective The focus will be on comparative physiology +explaining how our bodies function by comparing us with other animals Considering these +parallels helps us make inferences about ideal functioning in humans We saw an example of +this in the Preface When mammals are calm they breathe with the respiratory diaphragm +When they are distressed they tense the diaphragm and breathe with other respiratory +muscles The more traumatized a mammal becomes the more tense and inactive its +diaphragm becomes +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +In fact the diaphragm is one of your bodys main repositories of trauma The tightening +stranglehold discussed above partially corresponds to cumulative changes to your breathing +style that make you breathe more shallowly unevenly and rapidly You can release this trauma +by training your diaphragm which we will start later in this chapter before focusing on it in +depth in Chapter You will learn a series of methods to make your breathing permanently +deeper smoother and slower This sends an its okay to relax message to the entire body +By training your diaphragm to preside over your breathing you can convince your body to +assume that it resides in a habitat free from danger The remainder of the book will guide you +through exercises that combine this form of peaceful breathing with various postures +expressions and forms of body language In performing them you will reprogram yourself for +confidence health and peace +Stress Resides in the Way We Carry Ourselves +Most of us have knowingly or not experienced intense longterm periods of stress In my case +it happened throughout my twenties In the morning would wake up feeling anxious After +just a few social encounters my heart would be racing and my adrenaline overwhelming +Friends and acquaintances were often alarmed by the way behaved wondering what could +possibly be so stressed about would greet a friend and the expression on my face would +cause them to scan the immediate environment for threats because the fear on my face +suggested to them we were in immediate danger People would ask me What is it that youre +so worried about To which would reply Im rarely worried about anything specific It must +be biological +Under conditions of chronic stress symptoms continually worsen over time My default +stress level had been elevated over many years Upon going to bed instead of allowing myself +to return to a tranquil baseline fell asleep more frantic than the night before When this +happens the bodys systems become stuck in a state of overdrive Thought processes become +overclocked It becomes hard to fall asleep difficult to rest and impossible to relax Many of us +reach a point at which our experience of life is like a bad trip infused with the sensations of +both withdrawal and overdose As tolerance to the sensations of stress builds many people +barely notice how deranged they have allowed themselves to become +Pressing social concerns and professional responsibilities cause us to ignore the symptoms +As we habituate to the physical and mental anguish our body continues making longterm +adjustments that further entrench us in overexertion This is compounded by the fact that it has +historically been very difficult to successfully treat chronic stress Modern medicine has no real +solution aside from drugs and rest This is why most people do little to nothing about it +After a particularly bad day while lying in bed trying to meditate had an epiphany +recognized the way was holding my body as the source of my mental suffering For the first +time could feel my anxiety not as diffuse and psychological but as aching localized in my gut +stiffness in distinct spinal muscles as agonizing contortions of my face and as the misery of +stiff shaky breathing +Recognizing that did not hold my body in this way as a child immediately wanted to +know how had come to do it From that point on have been working to discover how the +body and mind compensate after being exposed to trauma In creating this system spent +countless hours analyzing my behavior and how carried myself in minute detail After +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +comparing my mannerisms with the scientific literature on the manifestations of stress in +mammalian biology came to realize was a model of precisely what not to do This process of +selfdeconstruction took me from being the most nervous person knew to the calmest +Why is stress so extensive in humans It is because it had survival benefits As a result of +our prehistoric past we react to minor threats as if they were matters of life and death Most +modern human stress derives from mundane frustrations that our bodys evolved mechanisms +misinterpret as lifethreatening dangers Although most people dont realize it most of these +minor threats are ultimately social in nature believe that the predominant source of stress +is the apprehension of social conflict and the tension that it creates Deep down we are afraid +that others will reject us if we are too calm We make ourselves feel uneasy and excitable so +that our outward manifestations of stress communicate goodwill hope this book will convince +you that you dont need to manufacture and advertise stress to avoid conflict and make friends +Illustration A Facial muscles B Crosssection of the heart C Diaphragm and bottom of the rib cage +Submissive Nonverbal Behavior Is in Our Genes +Nonverbal social displays perpetuate the majority of our bodily tension In biology a display is +an innate behavior that has evolved to serve a communicative purpose in members of the same +species Many such signals are observed in the animal kingdom They are often used to +negotiate conflict For example among wolves the pack leader has a dominant posture head +and ears up chest forward tail stiff and a confident swagger The other members of the pack +especially if unrelated to the leader walk with heads lowered ears back and tails low and +wagging They remain behind the pack leader when traveling If the alpha wolf challenges them +they will back away bend down or even lie on the ground exposing their vulnerable +underbellies It is clear to see that constant submissive signaling imprisons beta wolves in a +suboptimal state of being +Subordinate dogs use much of the same body language They lick or swallow nervously +display submissive grins freeze and tremble Many dogs in the act of submission will dribble +urine or pee on themselves without even lifting their leg Canines are not unique in this All +mammals resort to their own set of subordination displays They do it to avoid the escalation +from contest to attack To avoid outright fighting and bodily harm lowerranking individuals +send a message You dont need to undermine me because am already undermining myself +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Due to how social primates are submissive displays may be more important to them than +to any other order of mammal As primates humans constantly send out signals about +inferiority and resignation Indeed much of our nonverbal behavior exists to communicate +deference to other humans When we encounter a dominant member of our species we +restrict our breathing subvert our posture speak in a high voice and tighten our faces +Monkeys and apes routinely do the same It is essential to realize that these displays are +controlled by innate unconscious processes Although you may not think you are inferior we +were all born with neural pathways that cause us to adopt postures signifying inferiority These +pathways are encoded in our DNA and soldered into our nervous system before birth +Samuel Johnson said No two people can be half an hour together but one shall acquire +an evident superiority over the other If this is true the average person acts submissive at +least of the time Even when we meet someone new regardless of their status we stoop +our necks stop flexing our buttocks raise our shoulders and stand shorter to make certain we +do not offend them This is the equivalent of the principal mammalian submissive display of +rolling over to expose the belly +We have all known since preschool that bullies dont want us to appear calmer than they +are If they think we are too relaxed they are often willing to become violent To address this +we learn to use anxiety as a form of social lubrication would go as far as to say that very little +of my anxiety was due to the usual purported cause physical trauma and rumination about it +was not a victim of domestic abuse as a child and have never been molested believe that +most of my anxiety and depression was due to the cumulative effects of submissive signaling +These ritualized selfdestructive displays extend to our breathing We unconsciously +assume that to be respectful and friendly we must make our breathing shallow We are afraid +that if our breaths are deep and long other people will find it offensive Again shallow +breathing is inherited from our mammalian ancestry It shows other individuals that we are +taking the present encounter seriously rather than being too relaxed +The use of submissive tells communicates a history of victimization They can also +communicate that we are tired distressed possibly crippled and are not poised for fighting +Instead they show we are poised for flight This would have kept humans safe during hunting +and gathering times It may also have kept us safe from larger kids on elementary school +playgrounds But it only holds us back in modern adulthood Unless of course you are +in prison +For an inmate to avoid attracting negative attention in jail criminologists recommend using +submissive body language Their advice Never puff up your chest minimize eye contact dont +whistle dont sing dont dance and above all keep your head down pointed toward the +ground Nonsubmissive body language is taken as disrespectful Acting depressed keeps others +from wanting to attack you This was probably a major concern for our ancestors as many +experts today believe the major predator of prehistoric humans was other humans +People who have close encounters with pound silverback gorillas in the wild must do +the same The more subdued they act the less likely they are to be attacked So primatologists +in the field slump over act sheepish move very slowly and look straight at the ground +avoiding any eye contact Even though they are perfect strangers amid adult gorillas and their +young as long as they continue to do these things they are usually completely safe But you +dont live among wild gorillas and you are likely not reading this book from a jail cell so dont +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +resort to conciliatory gestures It is not your responsibility to placate anyone with postural +concessions Instead we should make it our responsibility to overcome our genetic inclinations +to do so and influence others to do the same even if only by example +Handicapping Signals Buy Mercy +Animal behaviorists point out that the costs of handicapping signals may enhance their +perceived value Because submissive behaviors hurt us others recognize them as valid Tensing +our muscles and using inefficient postures usually results in an energy deficit meaning that a +subordinate individual is spending energy to buy mercy The crouching and cringing that +nondominant wolves exhibit require extra energy and come with personal costs such as +muscular strain yet communicate that they are loyal servile members of the pack Thus +capitulation responses are authentic signals that we are operating with an impediment +Blushing and crying have been conceptualized in a similar way Indeed a blush can be +unwanted but often the costs to the blusher can be outweighed by the benefits The +involuntary aspect of a blush declares sensitivity to social norms and proves to others that you +feel shame or guilt and value the group Crying is an extreme form of selfhandicapping Some +scientists believe that its evolved purpose is to selfsabotage normal vision It also simulates +respiratory distress Sobbing thus signals acquiescence to a potential assailant It convinces the +aggressor that we are no longer a threat There are many similar displays among animals all of +which are ways of saying Look Im going to all this extra trouble just to prove to you that Im +not an enemy +Chimpanzees have obvious ways to signal that they have been defeated walking in an +apathetic way covering their face hitting themselves and lying prostrate Primates depend on +these submissive displays because they constantly compete with members of their closeknit +group for mating opportunities and food Generally hierarchies among males govern access to +fertile females whereas female hierarchies govern access to food resources as these are a +limiting factor for pregnancy and lactation As modern humans we usually dont fight physically +over sex or meals so why are our inclinations for submission so strong +The answer is that humans dont just selfhandicap to display deference Unfortunately for +us we also do it to be likable In humans signaling a handicap can communicate modesty +conveying that one is not shameless or brazen We demonstrate anxiety to build rapport with +others smooth over issues and prove our friendliness We do our best to act ingratiating +taking on bodily tension to do so It is part of peoplepleasing and the need to be accepted but +it is incredibly draining This book will introduce a philosophy for dealing with these pressures +describing how to be a calm confident likable person without recourse to submissive signaling +We use submissive displays around those we see as our superiors our equals and even our +inferiors Even very dominant people use subordination displays to be endearing and get +people to open up and trust them Therefore it is not always clear whether submissive +signaling is better characterized as weakness or as a form of social intelligence It depends on +the circumstances primarily on the specific display in question and how long it is used Before +we discuss this lets look at comparable displays in other animals +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Submissive and Dominant Displays in Animals +Dominant and submissive displays occur in almost all animal species from insects to fish to the +great apes Threatening intimidation displays are meant to impress making the animal bigger +or emphasizing its physical dominance They involve bristling hair ruffling feathers raising skin +folds baring teeth displaying horns emitting loud sounds making quick and powerful +movements and adopting exaggerated postures +When a western silverback gorilla wants to intimidate a rival he will start throwing objects +pounding his chest kicking his legs and running sideways when approached The fur of +dominant chimps stands on end to make them appear larger and they walk with exaggerated +weight They gallop run in circles hit things perform somersaults and produce a wide range of +loud barking and hooting vocalizations +Dominant lizards perform pushups bobbing their heads up and down displaying their +muscles and athletic prowess for others to see This display shows off the bright coloring on +their throats and sides and indicates that they are in prime physical condition Many male +lizards raise themselves on their legs and arch their backs to signify territorial dominance And +remember lizards are not utterly distinct from people Three hundred million years ago before +mammals our ancestors were reptiles crawling the earth We have inherited many of our most +primal instincts and social signalsas well as the structure of the oldest and most reflexive +parts of our brainsfrom these miniature dragons This inheritance is the reason that the +dominance displays of modern reptiles seem so familiar +illustration A Common lizard B Tyrannosaurus rex C Iguana +Submissive displays on the other hand usually make the animal look smaller and +weaker They involve bowing cowering stooping shaking and exerting efforts to minimize the +appearance of physical assets Some animals have bizarre ritualistic signals as with some lizard +species that display submission by raising a front leg and waving it in a slow circular motion +Like a loyal subject genuflecting in the presence of royalty chimpanzees with poor fighting +records cower immediately during a confrontation They shrink down and whimper They may +vomit their legs shake and their posture collapses +For the most part these displays are hardwired For example young male rhesus monkeys +that have never been exposed to adult males will give subordination displays instinctively when +they first encounter them They involuntarily bow the head and adopt a bentover posture We +dont realize it or think about it but our subordination displays are similarly instinctive +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +Submissive Displays in Apes Dominant Displays in Apes +Withdrawal flight crouching screaming +gaze aversion ceasing activity freezing +grimacing or grinning peeking trembling +pulling the limbs close to the body moving +out of the way of dominant members and +startling in response to their actions +Openmouthed threat nostril flare direct +stare thumping the ground lunging tense +mouth strutting mounting chasing +yawning genital display chestbeating +sprawling gnashing teeth barkingroaring +destroying vegetation breaking up fights +dragging branches drumming on trees +Table Common Hierarchical Displays Used by Chimps +Bonobos Gorillas Orangutans and Gibbons +Too often being fair fun and friendly toward others involves suboptimal displays This is +because the neural circuits responsible for submissive behavior were repurposed by natural +selection to help us get along Just as adult pair bonding in mammals evolved from the same +brain machinery that was initially responsible for creating the motherinfant bond so many of +our affiliative instincts evolved from submissive displays +Involuntary Submissive Displays are the Source of Our Stress +Ordinarily we dont use optimal postures because we are afraid they will be threatening to +others This is why for instance we rarely stand completely straight or lift our hands above our +heads This is unfortunate because when authentic and combined with positive affect +dominant displays can be calming and reassuring to people around us Any good leader uses +them to this effect But because most of us never learn to use dominant displays in positive +ways we grow up associating them with bad experiences For instance classmates might have +seen us walking with our heads up taken offense and tried to intimidate us into adopting a +compliant headdown posture Experiences like these are the reason that performing optimal +displays makes you breathe shallowly and become tense +The table below lists submissive suboptimal displays and their dominant optimal +counterparts These are just a handful of those considered in this book but they are a good +start While reading the table below make a mental determination of which displays you use +most and to what extent Think about how you employ these displays in different scenarios +such as when you are by yourself at home when you are with friends and when you are +in public +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Submissive Display Dominant Display +Breathing short quick shallow uneven +and through the mouth +Breathing long slow deep smooth and +through the nose +Muscles tense and strained +Muscles calm and relaxed +Eyes looking down +Eyes looking up +Darting gaze +Eyes capable of holding a prolonged gaze +Minimized eye contact +Steady eye contact +Eyes blinking +Eyes unblinking +Eyes squinting +Eyes wide open +Raised eyebrows +Relaxed eyebrows +Face tense and wincing +Face completely relaxed +Jaw and chin tense +Jaw and chin completely relaxed +Trembling movement +Smooth steady movement +Flinching and startling +Zero flinch or startle +Tense sneering blushing and crying facial +muscles +Relaxed sneering blushing and crying facial +muscles +Neck hunched +Neck straight +Head facing down +Head horizontal or up +Gluteus limp hips tilted forward genitals +retracted +Gluteus flexed hips neutral genitals thrust +forward +Middle back curved and tight +Middle back straight and relaxed +Shoulders raised +Shoulders down +Abdominals either flaccid or tense +Abdominals appropriately toned +Voice high soft and speaking quickly +Voice deep loud and commanding +Mumbling stuttering stammering +Articulating clearly and with conviction +Stilted halting body language +Free open body language +Body taking up as little space as possible +Body taking up as much space as possible +Table Submissive Displays vs Dominant Displays in Humans +We often refrain from using the dominant displays in Table above because they might +make people feel uncomfortable The more we suppress them the more our ability to use +dominant nonverbals withers away due to disuse This book will provide a thorough description +of healthy safe wellfunctioning use of dominant nonverbal behavior +How we carry ourselves has been molded by other peoples reactions to our posture +Hundreds of elements of our body language have individual learning histories and have been +either positively or negatively reinforced until they reached their current settings This +reinforcement is sometimes outright as when our parents tell us not to stare but is often +subtle as when peers ignore us until we take the bass out of our voice The people who +influence you to send them submissive signals may not be doing so because they dislike you It +may just be because they take it as flattery and dont want you to stop flattering them +Regardless you did not choose your current postural settings they were inadvertently chosen +throughout the trial and error of your social learning Most of them were selected during +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +childhood and adolescence when you were surrounded by immature people and relatively +immature yourself +As you step out of your room get out of your car or walk into the grocery store you are +constantly trying to determine how you should hold your body You are gauging how much +impunity you can walk around with You unconsciously scan each area to see whether there is +anyone you will have to cower before This behavior traces back to experiences you had in +kindergarten Even in adulthood we relate to people as if they are about to physically attack us +We overcompensate by being chummy and compliant totally out of proportion with any +existing social threat This keeps us from being our authentic selves Prepare to leave all that in +the past and hold your body like there is nothing and no one to be afraid of +Use activities and below to get a sense of where you sit on this continuum between +the two extremes of submission and dominance in your neighborhood +Introductory Activity An Optimal Walk Around the Block +Take a walk around your block While doing so observe your use of submissive displays +Remember that the dacile you is not the real you It is a fake character you have come to play +to get along with people As you read through this book you are going to dismantle this role +and you can start now +Think about the behaviors in Table above and try to determine how submissive your +posture and body language are As you walk experiment with using dominant displays How +many of them can you use at the same time before you start to feel selfconscious +Introductory Activity An Invisible Walk Around the Block +Take another walk around the block but this time either put on a coat hat and sunglasses or +simply pretend that you are invisible Think No one can judge me because no one can see +me If you were truly invisible how would you comport yourself How would your body +language change During this exercise many people notice themselves using fewer +suboptimal displays What did you notice +In the past thought that interpreting social interactions in terms of status wasnt +productive or informative because the concepts of dominance and submission were pass This +proclamation of indifference toward the social hierarchy made me feel insightful and unique It +took time to realize that this stance was a play for status in itself +Most people publicly pretend that the status hierarchy doesnt exist and that there is +nothing submissive about them However many experts see dominance and submission as the +fundamental concepts in social science the same way mass and energy are the fundamental +concepts in physics They are also key concepts of most relationships including working +relationships in which individuals rely on one another to achieve their goals As such it is +crucial to identify and efficiently navigate dominance games This book is not trying to influence +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +you to think about status more than you already do It is meant to get you to think about it +and be negatively affected by it less +A Description of My Submissiveness +At this point it is helpful to use my history as an example From my teens through my twenties +hung out with a rough crowd A number of my friends were convicted criminals and former +gang members Several were brawny athletes while others were drug addicts enjoyed their +companionship but was unaware of the extent to which felt compelled to send them +subordination signals didnt realize it at the time but around them acted modestly at best +and timid at worst +Incarcerated people adopt exaggeratedly meek displays and carry these with them after +being released from jail Burly athletes commonly demand tribute from others in the form of +deferential body language Drug addicts exhibit some of the worst composure and breathing +habits of anyone Having these people as companions caused me to unknowingly amplify my +existing submissive signaling to prove that was an ally not a competitor often felt courteous +and gracious while sending these displays but even minuscule nonoptimal displays become +entrenched over the long term Moreover the more often you are submissive the more others +expect that behavior and the more likely they are to be offended when you try to switch to +more assertive behavior +Ilustration A Snarling dog B Subordinate wolf licking the dominant wolf +You may have experienced trying to become more confident and assertive only to face +social rejection Heres how it happened to me In my twenties tried to be more assertive at +work Away from my friends attempted to reduce my subordination signaling doing my best +to be calm and confident on the job But my coworkers could tell from my breathing and facial +tension that was accustomed to using inferior mannerisms They saw that was attempting to +withhold submissive signals from them This made them angry caused them to dislike me and +led to social rejection +Submissive habits social reinforcement and accumulating tension continue to snowball +once they start rolling By my late twenties couldnt even pretend to be calm around anyone +knew Each new acquaintance immediately assumed from the way presented myself +that was their underling constantly felt that people were condescending and dismissive +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +couldnt see it but it was my own fault People couldnt respect me because acted like +didnt respect myself The condescension started to make me into a bitter resentful person +Crucially the social dynamics at play are not about what you say but how you say it Its the +nonverbal behaviors that matter If you saw a written transcript of my speech as a stressedout +yearold you might think seemed chivalrous But if you saw a video you would +immediately perceive me as fainthearted and jittery At the time thought that people +mistakenly perceived my kindness as weakness Rather they perceived my shortness of breath +my cowering posture and cringing expressions as weakness +Submissiveness is not just a social phenomenon Once submissive actions become +ingrained quirks the stress and heartache they promote will negatively affect your mental and +physical health In my case the symptoms were extreme In addition to anxiety and depression +showed other psychiatric symptoms of stress such as a disrupted attention span a working +memory deficit and panic attacks developed medical complications related to stress +including diagnoses such as esophageal achalasia dyshidrotic eczema male pattern balding +low testosterone and outbreaks of cherry hemangiomas had back pain frozen shoulder +tennis elbow coccydynia excessive cervical and lumbar lordosis forward head posture hip +bursitis unequal leg length plantar fasciitis OsgoodSchlatter disease temporomandibular +joint dysfunction and numerous other structural misalignments and asymmetries Medical +professionals recognize each of these as linked to chronic stress +Since developed the exercises in this book all those conditions disorders and symptoms +have disappeared and none have returned Having had this experience and familiarizing myself +with the vast body of scientific literature that relates stress to disease have concluded that +submissive displays and the associated bodily tension are among the most pressing public +health problems worldwide However it is not only preventable it is also entirely reversible +Even if all environmental sources of stress disappeared from your life it would still be +challenging to eliminate the lasting trauma already present in your body Once your breathing +has become hurried and your muscles have developed knots it is very difficult to reverse this +without employing the techniques in this book Healing yourself with the Program Peace +exercises can feel uncomfortable To be free of trauma you must work with and through its +physical manifestations Selfmassaging achy muscles overriding your shallow breathing style +flexing your way into better posture and performing the various exercises within this book +require resolve and determination The good news Even a little at a time adds up fast +Chronic Use of Submissive Displays Leads to Deep Trauma +We often maintain a specific submissive display for long stretches of time Many displays never +abate For example some people spend their lives speaking in a voice that is much higher in +pitch than is comfortable for them Everyone overuses displays like this allowing them to +become fundamental components of their personality These are rarely considered because we +are usually utterly unconscious of them and lose perspective on how destructive they can be +Society has done little to recognize them so there is scant relevant scientific research +Nevertheless they constitute bad form that when used habitually comes at a steep price +As we will discuss in Chapter any muscle that is significantly contracted for more than a +few minutes and thus deprived of rest will begin to take on damage Most submissive displays +such as squinting or stooping the neck last for several minutes or even hours Even when it is +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +unnoticeable strain accumulates At first you might only slightly raise your shoulders and your +eyebrows Over time however knots develop in those muscles keeping them permanently +raised The knots starve the muscle of blood and force it to atrophy This eventually makes the +muscle achy weak and dormant leaving it perpetually fatigued and creating a source of +chronic pain will build on this concept of strain accumulation in almost every chapter of this +book as we work through techniques for undoing its effects on different body parts +believe that developed each of the medical symptoms listed in the last section as either +a direct or indirect consequence of submissive muscular strain that went on too long Muscles +that are strained repetitively send continuous pain messages to the brains emotional centers +Sounds bad right Consider that the predominant form of social breathing in humansshallow +breathing in which the diaphragm is not utilizedincreases muscle tension throughout the +body This dramatically compounds the strain and spreads it to the entire musculoskeletal +system Below Table shows how prolonged use of the submissive displays listed in Figure +strains muscles leading to unhealthy consequences +Submissive Display Unhealthy Consequences of Strain +Breathing short quick and Chronic nervousness respiratory distress wholebody +shallow tension +Eyes looking down Atrophy of the muscles that help you look up +Minimized eye contact Eye contact triggers startle +Eyes squinting Eyes tired with bags and dark circles +Raised eyebrows Brow strained and wrinkled +High voice Voice permanently high and hoarse +Face tense and wincing Facial muscle strain and atrophy increased inflammation +and facial fat +Sneering muscles tense Permanent sneer burned into the face +Jaw and chin tense Jaw and chin knotted and painful +Head facing down Difficulty facing up +Neck hunched Neck humped and deformed +Gluteus limp hips tilted Weak core stiff lower back and hips +forward +Shoulders raised Shoulders permanently raised +Abdominals either lax or Propensity for abdominal fat poor core stability +tense +Pelvic and Genital Tension Reduced libido and sexual dysfunction +Spinal Tension Collapsed posture aches and pain +High Heart Rate Cardiovascular problems +Digestive Tension Gut pain and digestive problems +Table Submissive Displays and the Unhealthy Consequences +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +As the exercises in later chapters will discuss the way to reinvigorate these bodily systems +is to use them to their full extent By completely contracting the muscles involved you can pull +them out of their partially contracted state and thus out of chronic fatigue and chronic pain +The problem is that contracting these muscles when breathing shallowly risks pushing them +into a cramp or spasm However contracting them while breathing deeply will restore their +normal range of motion reinstate their proper blood supply and remove all manifestations of +tension strain and trauma +The Program Peace Method Replace Submissive Behaviors with Assertive Ones +Now that you know what submissive displays are and how they can be so damaging lets talk +about fixing them The goal is clear To improve your health you need to replace your default +submissive habits with their assertive relaxed alternatives Well start with a simple example +Consider sneering The sneer is made possible by muscles that run along the sides of the +nose and lift the upper lip when contracted Mammals sneer so that they do not bite into their +lips during an attackbite Most mammals also sneer when threatened or uncomfortable This is +because displaying the canines is the equivalent of flashing a dagger or putting a hand on a gun +Dominant primates rarely sneer while subordinates do it constantly The most socially +damaged monkeys have tense stiff sneering muscles that they cannot relax Because they are +always sneering they always feel threatened It is the same in humans The tension in these +muscles crushes our facial composure making it difficult to appear calm and collected Once +realized that my sneering muscles had painful knots in them developed exercises alternating +between completely contracting and completely relaxing them pairing both with +diaphragmatic breathing also created a massage routine to release the cramps Completely +loosening the knots in my sneering muscles took me a couple of minutes a day for a few +months but it was well worth it The oncepainful knucklesized knots are gone completely +look much calmer now and feel less defensive After completing the exercises in Chapter you +will too The next activity may capture your interest in this phenomenon +Activity Fully Contract Your Sneering Muscles +Open your mouth as wide as you can Next reveal all your teeth as much as possible With +your top and bottom teeth fully exposed you should feel like a predator about to bite into +something Allow the sneer to fully contract muscles in your lips cheeks and nostrils +Even your nose should be fully crinkled Try to hold this sneer for an entire minute This +will push many of the muscles involved into a full fatigue After this extended full range +contraction all these muscles should be able to rest more than they have in years +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Ilustration Four animals baring their teeth +Most people would feel very uncomfortable performing the exercise above in public +Interestingly enough most people also feel extremely unguarded when they let their sneering +muscles go lax This is why these muscles are stuck in sustained partial contraction You can +pull these muscles out of partial contraction by pairing both sneering and its absence with +diaphragmatic breathing which will afford your face a whole new level of composure Each +chapter in this book will guide you to combine a different set of displays and the accompanying +contractions with proper breathing in a thorough systematic approach The next section +explains how this approach works and why it relies on pairing both submissive and dominant +displays with diaphragmatic breathing +The Methodology Combining Optimal Behaviors with Diaphragmatic Breathing +As shown in the figure below breathing slowly and deeply with the diaphragm reduces your +heart rate and stress response +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +Diaphragmatic Breathing Decreases Stress +Breathing +Volume +l +Time Time +Heart Rate +I I +Time Time +Stress +Response +it +Time Time +Figure Before time this person is breathing short shallow breaths with a high heart rate and a high stress +response At time this person takes two slow deep breaths You see a corresponding decrease in their heart rate +and stress response At time they resume shallow breathing causing their heart rate and stress levels to go +back up +Learning how to breathe deeply is not enough however We need to build it into the basic +ways we carry ourselves move through the world and interact with others The key to +adopting dominant behaviors is to train your body to feel comfortable engaging in them You +can do this by practicing diaphragmatic breathing while using confident postures and displays +This will enable you to replace your longstanding associations between assertive behavior and +the stress response +As another example consider the involuntary placement of your eyes in social situations +Looking upward above the eye line is a clear dominance display This is why most people feel +uncomfortable looking up in public If you spend seconds on a crowded street looking +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +upward you will likely become very selfconscious Your breathing will become shallow and +rapid your heartbeat will speed up and your stress level will increase Here is what that +looks like +Optimal Body Language Increases Stress +Breathing +Volume +I +Time Time +Heart Rate +iT iT +Time Time +Stress +Response +Time Time +Figure These graphs show relaxed breathing that is slow and deep until the person uses an optimal display +starting at time Using the display causes their breathing to become more shallow than usual and you see a +corresponding increase in their heart rate and stress response This lasts until time when they cease performing +the display +The unconscious fear of behaving dominantly keeps our body language withdrawn and +demure But there is a simple solution If you spend a few minutes per day practicing slow long +deep breaths from your diaphragm while looking up then an upward gaze will stop recruiting +the panicked breathing response It will instead begin to feel natural and even occur +involuntarily You should start by practicing alone then in public and transition toward using it +socially Practicing for just a few minutes a day can train you to stop looking down in a few +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +weeks This technique can be used to make all forms of optimal body language feel comfortable +and arise spontaneously +After Exposure to Diaphragmatic Breathing Optimal +Body Language No Longer Increases Stress +Breathing +Volume +I +Time Time +Heart Rate +pula pa on pO +Time Time +Stress +Response +ptt ype ed ta ag +Time Time +Figure These graphs depict data from a person who has used the Program Peace method of exposing a +dominant display to diaphragmatic breathing Despite using dominant body language from time to time +their breathing remains slow and deep and there is no discernable change in their heart rate or stress response +Because they have calmed their bodys unconscious reaction to the display it no longer provokes fear guilt +or stress +The exercises in this book will first ask you to pair assertive behavioral subroutines that +you would ordinarily find unnerving with paced breathing After isolating and treating them +individually you will be asked to combine several of them together so that you can become +comfortable using many assertive nonverbal behaviors at once For instance we will learn to +breathe deeply with a calm face upward eyes straight neck and relaxed vocal posture You will +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +also work on dissociating optimal postures from the submissive ones that often accompany +them For example we will isolate widening your eyes from raising your eyebrows and isolate +smiling from squinting and sneering +Your brains current records of how to hold your body correspond with remarkably high +precision to where you think you fit in the hierarchy of your social group Most people who +want to be more assertive try to manipulate the environment by competing conniving or using +power plays to change other peoples perceptions of them in hopes that they will be allowed to +gradually assume a more dominant role Unfortunately this is a stressful process that tends to +compound their problems Instead Program Peace will show you how to transform yourself +from the inside out +The Program Peace method relies on established principles from the science of +neuroplasticity Neuroplasticity is the brains ability to restructure neuronal connections in +response to new experiences and demands This process underlies all learning training and +rehabilitation It is always available so you can start at any age and practice whenever you +want Another great aspect of neuroplasticity is that it makes things automatic With time +neuroplastic changes consolidate and stabilize making what you have learned second nature +The exercises in this book leverage neuroplasticity to optimize your composure by exposing +your brain circuits for acting like a boss to the brain circuits for feeling safe Coactivating the +neurons in these circuits will allow you to override your autopilot and make the habits of an +alpha your default +Ilustration A A neuron B Cross section of the brain C Coactive brain regions +Even behaviors that express positive emotions have been routinely coactivated with +distressed breathing over your lifetime Smiling is the quickest way to recruit shallow breathing +in most people We will use long deep breathing in Chapter to detraumatize your smile and +in Chapter to detraumatize your laugh This book will provide you with a diaphragmatic +makeover restructuring dozens of behaviors and postures dissociating them from the fightor +flight response and decoupling them from distressed breathing By now you may be curious to +find out what diaphragmatic breathing feels like so lets get acquainted with it using the +activity below +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +Activity A Diaphragmatic Breath +In part one of this activity you will exhale and in part two you will inhale For each part +focus on taking exceptionally long and deep breaths to fully engage the diaphragm Try to +make each last eight to seconds +Diaphragmatic exhalation Inhale completely before starting your exhalation +Purse your lips and blow on your fingertip for as long as you comfortably can +While you slowly breathe out pay attention to the sound of your breath and the +sensation produced by the air hitting your fingertip ensuring that both are steady +and constant Deep long breaths with a constant flow rate are the keys to +activating the diaphragm Blow out until you have no more air left You should +notice that during the last few seconds it is challenging to keep the stream +steady This is the aspect of the muscle most in need of retraining +Diaphragmatic inhalation Do the same for an inhalation Take a couple of normal +breaths and then exhale completely before starting Purse your lips and place +your finger on them This will make your breath audible Then inhale until you +cannot inhale anymore Breathe in slowly and steadily ensuring that the sound +you make is constant and unflinching +If you were able to make these breaths last longer than eight seconds and make your +breath smoother than usual then you experienced what engaging your diaphragm feels +like After you perform both activities a couple of times each consider what it would take +to make every breath a diaphragmatic breath +Next is the first Program Peace exercise which pairs a long diaphragmatic exhalation with +vocalization to strengthen both your voice and diaphragm Being able to talk for an extended +period before needing to inhale is a very dominant trait To do it you need a strong diaphragm +that can push all the way through its full range of motion squeezing most of the air out of the +lungs On the other hand it is very common that submissive people with tense diaphragms +have to gasp after every few words they speak Partially because they are used to being +interrupted their diaphragm is not capable of unwavering prolonged contractions Once you +extend the amount of time you can speak on a single breath even by a couple of seconds you +will feel and appear much more confident +Introductory Exercise Prolonged Vocalization +You are going to vocalize for as long as you can times in a row Before each +vocalization take a full inhalation During each following exhalation vocalize in a deep +but relaxed register It can be loud or soft Choose a low note and a vowel sound such as +ah uh or om and maintain it as long as possible Continue vocalizing until you +cannot breathe out any longer You should be able to do this for at least five seconds +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +but shoot for eight or even up to if you can You might pull out the stopwatch on your +phone and time yourself Do this times in a row +This exercise is challenging for the diaphragm and the voice and can be somewhat +uncomfortable because you are forcing the diaphragm to work in an unfamiliar and +atrophied zone Normally your voice is confined to a shallow range in which the +diaphragm falters neurotically in response to emotional fluctuations threatening stimuli +and interruptions Keeping your voice steady will teach your diaphragm to contract +more steadily +If you perform this exercise five times over the course of a week it will cease to be +uncomfortable You will get used to it quickly and find that you can do it for several +minutes at a time Because it ensures diaphragmatic motion it should make you feel +very relaxed after just a few minutes The longer you do it the more relaxed you will feel +It is a great exercise to use if you are feeling anxious You can also do it around others +by humming quietly with your mouth closed Within a few weeks your voice will be +noticeably more impressive and commanding This is a skill that leaders and lecturers +develop the ability to use the diaphragm to put sustained continuous pressure on the +voice box using fluid uninterrupted contraction +Not only will the exercise above strengthen your diaphragm but it will also strengthen your +voice Lets consider a hypothetical example of how sustained diaphragmatic breathing can help +rehabilitate other parts of your body Take the neck for instance Imagine that you have been +forced to crank your neck into an uncomfortable position like looking up and to the extreme +left for five straight minutes Now imagine four scenarios +Inthe first scenario you breathe very shallowly as if you were frightened by something +terrible At the end of five minutes you would likely have developed a cramp that would +be painful for a few days +Inthe second scenario you breathe normally You might come out of this ordeal with +your neck feeling a little tight and uncomfortable and the feeling might disappear after +a few hours +Inthe third scenario you do your best to breathe slowly deeply and diaphragmatically +Breathing in this way you might avoid neck pain entirely at the end of the five minutes +Finally in the last scenario you breathe as you will be able to do after you spend +weeks completing the breathing retraining outlined in Chapter of this book In this +situation your neck would be much less likely to take on any longterm strain Rather +it would be strengthened and toned by the fiveminute effort +Diaphragmatic breathing protects us from the negative consequences of repetitive strain +while shallow breathing makes us vulnerable to it Shallow breathing at our desks destroys our +necks and lower backs Shallow breathing during exercise limits our potential gains and +recovery Shallow breathing while grinning destroys our smiles Shallow breathing while +socializing drives chronic anxiety The rest of this book will guide you to pair deep breathing +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +with a diverse assortment of different muscle activation patterns The exercises will engage +muscles in the spine gut throat face genitals and many other locations building strength +flexibility mobility and optimal tone +The process of working through suboptimal postural habits to gradually retrain your body is +emotionally cathartic and will give you an opportunity to reinvent yourself The reprogramming +youre taking on will act like a cheat code allowing you to hack into the programming of +your nervous system and reset it to a lower level of stress Each chapter resets a different +bodily system Rather than listing them here the specific topics that will be discussed can be +found in the chapter titles in the Table of Contents The figure below illustrates the problems at +hand and how they are addressed by Program Peace +Cranial Facial +Physical Threat Amygdala Spinal Vocal +Submissive F Pain +Cardiac Genital +Pain Distressed Breathing KX Digestive +Aggressive Anxiet +Ego Respiratory y +Social Threat Nonverbals Skeletal +Relaxed Paced Optimal Debracing Nonresistant +Assertive Diaphragmatic Postures Massage Nonfearful +P P Personality Breathing Body Language AntiLaxity Mindset +Kele lanl nEISS Restructuring Retraining Training AntiRigidity +Therapeutic +Rehabilitative +Interventions +Figure Threats are interpreted by the brain and go on to affect breathing behavior and muscle tension +The Program Peace exercises address these issues individually +How This Book Is Organized +This book features over activities and exercises grouped by chapter After the description of +each exercise in the book youll find the recommended length of time that exercise should be +performed eg five minutes Also listed is the number of sessions you should expect to take +to reach proficiency eg four sessions per week for weeks Proficiency means you should +expect to have made a considerable gain and created a selfperpetuating habit that will provide +continued improvement with time This is followed by the recommended number of sessions to +maintain the ability after proficiency is reached eg two times per month Note that these +details are only given for the exercises and not the activities Activities are exploratory and +intended to be completed only once +Example Exercise Description Here +The directions for performing the activity or exercise are in this box including setup +steps to take and the general parameters of the exercise +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Some exercises have a risk of injury warning which means that it is quite possible to hurt +yourself while doing the exercise as described Take great care with these and ensure that you +read the warning and disclaimer section in the books Preface Some exercises are given five +stars which means that highly recommend them and that they are especially valuable as part +of your retraining Nearly every exercise is intended to be performed with paced diaphragmatic +breathing synchronized with a breathing metronome as explained in Chapter Alternatively +you can synchronize each exercise with the breathing pattern from Exercise +My clients and generally find that keeping a record of completed sessions is helpful and +motivating There are two worksheets at the end of this chapter to keep track of your initial +progress Each contains key exercises and make it possible to log the number of times you +have completed them These are what consider the books most beneficial fivestar +exercises You can complete a threemonth crash course in Program Peace by performing +exercises two days per week over the course of weeks Each week you can alternate +between worksheets and Completing all exercises in a worksheet takes less than an +hour and there is no pressure to complete these on consecutive days or weeks +This book also has a companion workbook called Program Peace Exercise Manual and +Journal which comes complete with daily entries and a calendar in which you can record the +exercises you have completed as part of a week regimen It is not necessary but it is helpful +and can be downloaded for free from the website or purchased online as a hard copy +Using Program Peace by Yourself and with Others +Strangers arent the only ones who want us to use submissive displays The people closest to us +positively reinforce our endearing behavior rewarding us for acting in nonthreatening ways +They also punish assertive behavior chastening us for acting selfassured However we cannot +be mad at people for doing this to us because whether aware of it or not we do the same to +others It is an unconscious human instinct We are constantly using body language to check +and balance each other and in doing so we are mutually denigrated Tearing each other down +instead of building each other up is a waste of time and energy that ultimately programs our +brains for sadness and our bodies for disease +If you immediately start practicing the activities in this book in social situations they will be +feeble People will recognize this and may attempt to punish you for being what they may +interpret as rude When first started practicing some acquaintances were confused by the +new way carried myself because my assertiveness was not fully fledged For this reason +it helps to begin developing these postures alone Start in your room while driving or as you +take a walk Build up to active social engagement slowly Once it is evident that your dominant +behaviors have become ingrained people will not question them By practicing alone you can +build yourself a stolid countenance that is so convincing that it is beyond reproach +Alternatively most of the exercises here can be performed with a close friend or ina +group and encourage you to do so after first practicing them on your own Fostering a low +stakes environment will make it dramatically easier to bring your new postures into the wider +world To this end recommend that you start by discussing the ideas in this book with close +friends and family You can create an understanding with your loved ones that your relationship +is better off without submissive signaling Instead of making each other weaker you can train +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +each other to feel comfortable and at ease in strength Ask your roommate or spouse to walk +around your home like they own the place Tell them to expect you to do the same +If you dont have this discussion with the people close to you they may become +disheartened not understanding why you seem different However if you explain the practice +to them you can transform them whether they perform the programs specific exercises or not +When they see you relaxed standing straight and speaking in a powerful voice they will find +themselves mirroring you without even thinking about it +Program Peace will give you the knowledge and exercises you need to progress to a point +where you have the strength of personality to dominate everyone in your life But you dont +want to dominate people Domination is an aggressive attempt to get someone to submit It is +abusive and will repel even your close friends and family You simply want to be dominant +Being dominant doesnt stop others from also being dominant Its not a competition +Domination is onesided and aggressive but dominance is not So that we are clear on the +difference for the final section of this chapter lets more clearly define aggression +Dominant Nonverbals Make Aggression Unnecessary +A very early version of this book that started working on in my late teens set out to describe +the many costs of aggression saw aggression as a pitiful coping tactic that is often rewarded in +the short term but ultimately results in negativity saw it as a vestigial instinct and a heuristic +that people employ inflexibly and far too frequently felt that by living my life without +aggression reaped many benefits wanted to share with others how to use diplomacy and a +nice guy approach to navigate difficult social situations +However to avoid appearing aggressive accentuated my subordination displays and +debilitated myself through intense selfhandicapping spent so much energy placating people +and repressing my personality that became perpetually distressed In trying to let go of +aggressiveness had also unwittingly lost my assertiveness But this is only because was +confusing the two +Much of this book is about how to perceive the distinction between aggression and +assertion so you can act confidently knowing you are maintaining your ground without +threatening others What do assertion and aggression mean to you In the animal behavior +literature the word assertion is constructive while aggression is destructive An animal +chasing down its prey is acting assertively because it needs to eat An animal hurting another +without benefit to itself is being aggressive In mammals the brain pathways controlling +aggression like fighting members of your species are entirely distinct from the brain pathways +for searching out and obtaining prey +For example a cat pursuing a rat does not hiss or arch its back The active brain areas +reflect hunger rather than anger If you were to wipe out the aggression and anger systems of +a carnivores brain it could still be a stonecold predator On the other hand when a cat is +aggressive toward another cat it is almost always impelled by fear Aggression is a destructive +use of force that is rooted in trauma and insecurity If more people knew this basic neurological +truth they likely wouldnt praise aggressiveness or confuse aggression with assertion +At its core this book is about being assertive without being aggressive That means being +selfpossessed but also kind at the same time It is difficult have spent my life trying to be +both but have only come close in the last few years Many people see being assertive and +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +being nice as two distinct modes that are incompatible or mutually exclusive Religious +leaders tell us to be nice at the expense of being assertive Dating coaches and business gurus +tell us to be assertive at the expense of being nice Like most stressed primates we mistakenly +believe that we are forced to choose between these two options +Because our psychological schemas for assertiveness are often conflated with those for +aggression many people find it impossible to be one without the other This means that as +soon as they start acting nonsubmissive they inadvertently also start being intrusive pushy +and unkind They cant help it they have never learned to make this fundamental distinction +Once you can discern between assertion and aggression you can be powerful without malice +You can simultaneously be confident and friendly poised and thoughtful dominant and pure of +heart The key is exhibiting incorrigibly courageous body language while still having your +intentions in the right place Ultimately you want to make your nonverbals ruthless +uncompromising and unapologetic but you want to temper this by making your words +humble considerate and affectionate +Mammals that dont feel threatened dont get angry They also dont threaten others +As we will discuss in the next chapter aggression usually follows desperation It is a form of +compensation for the inability to be calm while being assertive In fact in primate literature +aggression is often characterized as submissive threat This indicates that threats come from +monkeys that feel vulnerable or are trying too hard not to be submissive Think of the times +when you have been really aggressive in the past You felt threatened and were breathing in a +shallow distressed manner Correct It is the straight jacket of stress muscle tension pain +and breathlessness that causes us to lash out In preparing us for confrontation it makes us +confrontational +Learning to breathe slowly deeply and on long intervals will help you develop emotional +maturity Doing it in social situations will make you hardened to threats immune to being +dominated exempt from defensive sentimentality and unsusceptible to feeling offended Once +you use Program Peace to train yourself to breathe easily and stop sending submissive displays +you will no longer have to choose between being assertive and doing the right thing This is +because the combination of the two will come with ease +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +Chapter Bullet Points +e Submission and aggression are highly detrimental and we want to replace them with +assertiveness and playfulness +e Allmammals use submissive displays to show subordination to more dominant animals +They do this to reduce social conflict over food sex and other resources +e Humans use submissive displays too often just to be friendly +e We commonly use suboptimal body language because we are afraid that otherwise +we might come across as too aggressive +e It is difficult to stop using submissive displays because they become habitual and the +people around us come to expect them +e Your composure posture and breathing style are all products of your social +environment +e Ongoing submissive displays lead to muscle tension that is apparent to others +The chronic muscular strain caused by the display becomes a badge of selfperceived +low status +e As you perform the Program Peace exercises think you will be surprised by how much +and how often you use suboptimal body language due to modesty +e We all suffer from this to different degrees and it causes suboptimal functioning of +various muscles and organs It also causes chronic pain which contributes to depression +and anxiety +e Our attempts to stop acting submissive and make our behavior more dominant are fear +inducing and cause us to breathe shallowly +e Shallow distressed breathing is a submissive display +e Ask yourself how the following things affect your breathing being isolated being +shunned being attacked being put down verbally being put down nonverbally +being judged +e Using diaphragmatic breathing while practicing dominant displays and postures can +make them very comfortable and make nonverbal assertiveness a new default +e Replacing submissive behaviors with assertive ones will improve how you feel the way +others perceive you and how you get along with them +e Dominant animals are the most assertive and submissive animals are the most +aggressive This should inspire us to be assertive without being aggressive It requires +that we learn to retain our composure and learn not to allow provocation or threat to +affect the face voice spine or breath +e This chapter is the first step in helping you reconceptualize yourself as dominant +pure of heart slow to anger and not easily offended +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Program Peace Fxercise Tracker Week +Date Start Time Finish Time +Exercise Name Set Set Set Set +Prolonged Vocalization mins +Deep Breaths mins +Practicing a Smooth mins +Inhalation +Smoothing Over mins +Discontinuities +Wide Eyes with No Facade mins +Relaxed Frowning mins +Glaring +Looking Up While Talking mins +Watching TV Upside Down mins +Conserving the Calm mins +Freeing Up the Face mins +Soft Facial Percussion mins +A Sneerless Smile mins +The Slowest Smallest min +Breath +Panthooting min +Meditation Paced Sleep Total Exercise Flights Standing Stretching Self +mins Breathing hours Steps mins Climbed hrs mins Massage +mins mins +Thoughts and Feelings +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +Program Peace Exercise Tracker Week +Date Start Time Finish Time +Exercise Name Set Set Set Set +Isometric Contraction of mins +the Diaphragm +Diaphragmatic mins +Vocalization +Reading Out Loud mins +Optimal Posture While mins +Standing +Search Your Body for mins +Rigidity +Antilaxity and Antirigidity mins +with Light Weights +Neck Retraction mins +Various Neck Anti mins +rigidity Postures +Take a Walk with mins +Exaggerated Posture +Diaphragmatic Fasting hrs +Compressing the Internal mins +Organs +Listen to Your Heartbeat mins +Diaphragmatic Laughing mins +Diaphragmatic Phone mins +Conversation +Meditation Paced Sleep Total Exercise Flights Standing Stretching Self +mins Breathing hours Steps mins Climbed hrs mins Massage +mins mins +Thoughts and Feelings +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Cafazzo S Lazzaroni M MarshallPescini S Dominance relationships in a +family pack of captive arctic wolves Canis lupus arctos The influence of competition for food +age and sex PeerJ e +van der Borg J A M Schilder M B H Vinke C M de Vries H Dominance in +domestic dogs A quantitative analysis of its behavioural measures PLoS ONE +King A J Johnson D D Van Vugt M The origins and evolution of leadership +Current Biology RR +Petersen R M Dubuc C Higham J P Facial displays of dominance in non +human primates In Senior C Ed The facial displays of leaders pp Palgrave +Macmillan +Knowles K The evolutionary psychology of leadership trait perception In C Senior +Ed The facial displays of leaders pp Palgrave Macmillan +Boswell J The table talk of Dr Johnson C Dilly +Crozier R The puzzle of blushing The Psychologist +Breed M D Moore J Animal behavior Elsevier +Churchland P S Braintrust Princeton University Press +Dunbar N E Burgoon J K Perceptions of power and interactional dominance +in interpersonal relationships Journal of Social and Personal Relationships +Werner R A guide to deep tissue neuromuscular therapy Jones and Bartlett +Gerwin R D Classification epidemiology and natural history of myofascial pain +syndrome Current Pain and Headache Reports +Fried R The psychology and physiology of breathing In behavioral medicine +clinical psychology and psychiatry Springer Science +Douyon P Neuroplasticity Your brains superpower zzard Ink Publishing +Panksepp J December The riddle of laughter neural and psychoevolutionary +underpinnings of joy Current Directions in Psychological Science +Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training +Gleitman H Fridlund A J Reisberg D Psychology th ed W W Norton +and Company +Lorenz K On aggression Methuen Publishing de Waal F The bonobo and +the atheist In search of humanism among the primates WW Norton Company +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +Being defeated is often a temporary condition Giving up is what makes it permanent Marilyn vos Savant +b +Our Bodies Compensate in Response to Suboptimal Environments +Although our bodies are capable of finding peace they were never designed to do so Rather +they developed to internalize environmental hardship to ensure the perpetuation of our genes +Harmful experiences cause organisms to promptly deviate from otherwise optimal body plans +restricting growth and mobility while reducing their quality of life The focus of this chapter is to +explain why we retain stress in the form of bodily trauma +From microorganisms to monkeys all life forms respond to stressors with innate biological +programs They are prepared to alter their bodies and life strategies if they encounter adverse +environments To be clear this is a form of nonmutational adaptation that takes place without +natural selection during an individuals lifetime We all have the potential to become highly +stressadapted and this could happen to you in a matter of weeks if you were exposed to +extreme hardship The DNA genotype does not change however the genes that are +expressed change and cause the body phenotype to change Your genes specify the blueprint +and the foundation but the environmental circumstances influence how soundly your structure +is built +The changes bodies make allow conformation to occasional but regularly recurring +environmental pressures faced by the species These are usually stressors Changes can be +either transient or permanent and are examples of a scientific concept called developmental +plasticity How you responded plastically to your environment results in a unique +developmental trajectory For instance if you were a sad child growing up you are more likely +to be a melancholy adult Certain developmental windows close early in life but we retain a +great deal of plasticity even in old age This means that your fundamental nature dominant +submissive calm anxious etc is in the process of being determined even as you read this +Developmental plasticity is any change in the body good or bad mediated by changes in +gene expression as a response to the environment When say gene expression am referring +to the process where the bodys cells determine that a particular protein is needed they find +the gene that encodes the protein from within the DNA in the cells nucleus and use it to build +the protein For example when you exercise consistently genes that encode the proteins +needed for muscle tissue become highly expressed resulting in muscle growth Thats a clear +case of developmental plasticity your body responds to exercise by building new muscle to +make the lifting easier +The same thing happens on a faster scale when your eyes adapt to darkness Cells in the +retina use the rhodopsin gene to build the rhodopsin protein necessary to see better in low +light The production of breast milk involves expressing milk proteins within the breast tissue +that are not expressed before pregnancy Tanning involves the production of the protein +pigment melanin The formation of longterm memories neuroplasticity involves physical +changes to brain cells that necessitate protein expression Each of the genes in the +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +human genome codes for a protein that performs a specific function within our bodies when +needed Some of these genes and their proteins contribute to anxiety +The Tradeoffs of Adapting to Adversity +Simple singlecell organisms respond to stress excessive heat starvation and abrupt chemical +changes in their environment by tweaking their body plan Molecular cues that they pick up +cause them to express genes that may otherwise remain dormant causing changes within their +cell walls to respond to the demands at hand Even in the simplest organisms like bacteria and +protists these emergency alterations have costs Resources are funneled toward responding to +the crisis rather than to longevity and upkeep Over time this negatively affects the health of +the microbe +Humans also make unhealthy changes in response to bad environments Constant muscle +strain incites protein expression that changes the muscle making it hard inflexible and limiting +its range of motion Shallow breathing becomes persistent because the body uses gene +expression to retune the breathing apparatus to become maximally efficient at shallow +breathing The heart is similarly retuned to beat rapidly Threatsensing areas of the brain are +reinforced after threatening experiences Stress stimulates the expression of a large variety of +different proteins in organs throughout the body and brain that would not otherwise be +expressed These proteins are used in defensive structures defensive maneuvers and the +creation of a defensive mind state The effects of developmental plasticity can be lifelong or +even multigenerational Recent findings have found that many of the negative effects can be +reversed but the longer you wait the harder it will be +These changes might be useful for instance if your environment is filled with predators +But they can produce drastic bodily changes especially if they are triggered early in +development This is easiest to see in nonhuman examples like certain species of horned +beetle The beetles body type can vary sharply based on food availability Visually the two +versions look very different Even many scientists at first assumed these two morphs were from +different species When they dont have enough food developing males become smaller and +weaker and never develop their characteristic horns Their metabolism is reduced and they +utilize sneaky reproductive tactics rather than the direct combat typical of their betterfed +peers This morph is adaptiveit has better reproductive successbut only in environments +where food is scarce and larger beetles cannot feed themselves Outside those environments +a hornless horned beetle has no real chance to compete +A similar thing happens to the water flea Daphnia If exposed to the smell of their natural +predators early in life they develop a large protective covering that helps them resist being +eaten However this armor also makes it harder to move and feed These examples of plasticity +involve fundamental tradeoffs The same kinds of responses occur in mammals although the +effects are usually less obvious Still sometimes you can visually recognize the ravages of stress +in people who are extremely anxious highly traumatized drugaddicted or on the bottom of +the social totem pole What these people share in common is that their stress system has been +turned up too high for too long For the beetle the environmental cue predictive of adversity is +malnutrition For the flea it is the smell of its natural predator Can you guess what ours is It is +distressed breathing Shallow thoracic breathing drives the threat system and a cascade of +harmful cellular modifications that change our physical body plan +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +Ze yo +va Qa VA +XY SS +v +illustration A Horned beetle and smaller hornless beetle B Water fleas with and without protective armoring +How Mammals Adapt to Chronic Stress +Decades of experiments have found that the offspring of nervous mothers are biologically +programmed to also be nervous Mothers exposed to adversity before during or after +pregnancy upregulate their babies stressresponse systems permanently Mammals from mice +to monkeys with stressedout moms exhibit increased adrenal activity which causes higher +concentrations of stress hormones Mammals with more active adrenal systems are more +susceptible to stress responding to mildly threatening events in exaggerated and +inappropriate ways +These responses often last for the animals entire lifetime They are a specific type of +developmental plasticity called predictive adaptive responses The idea is that if a mothers +environment is hostile then her offspring are likely to face that same environment and ought +to be prepared for it For the same reason rat pups born to calm mothers tend to be calm +themselves Those that received high levels of maternal care in the form of licking grooming +and nursing show increased resilience to stress even in adulthood All mammals begin to +adapt plastically to stress in the womb and continue to do so throughout life This is why it is so +important to take control of your reactions to stress you have the power to steer yourself away +from suffering +We were all born with the capacity for unmitigated strength consummate confidence and +unconditional dominance Despite this our bodys cells are constantly searching for cues about +predation and social competition Upon encountering these cues stress hormones are turned +up the respiratory and cardiovascular systems are strained muscles grow tense and the brain +is adjusted to make us angry fearful and paranoid Again these responses may result in +subtle microscopic changes or profound visible ones The Program Peace method aims to +reverse the negative changes and create lasting positive ones by providing your bodys cells +with the cues necessary to cause them to interpret their environment as advantageous +The Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous Systems +The autonomic nervous system controls the function of our internal organs It affects the heart +lungs various organs in our abdomen skin muscles and many areas of the brain It generally +influences our organs to either prepare for stress as in the fightorflight state or for calm as +in the restinganddigesting state The fightorflight state is associated with the sympathetic +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +branch of the autonomic nervous system while the restanddigest state is associated with +the parasympathetic branch These two systems are constantly working together to maintain +homeostasis to meet organismic needs Both are necessary for health and normal functioning +They work in unison but at any given time one is usually more active than the other +The activity of the sympathetic nervous system rises when we feel stressed and lowers +when we feel calm The sympathetic nervous system becomes toxic when it is augmented by +developmental plasticity This is when the body builds stressadapted proteins into various +organ systems This keeps a person locked in a perpetual state of stress that scientists call +hyperarousal +Specialists describe the retuning of the autonomic system toward stress as an imbalance +that equates to a shift toward sympathetic upregulation This is the antagonist of our story +and it is an adversary for each of us to different extents It is important to point out that the +sympathetic nervous system itself is not our enemy the problem comes only from longterm +persistent sympathetic overactivation This happens when fear and intimidation are regular +occurrences As you might expect inferior and submissive mammals have greater sympathetic +upregulation For example lowranking baboons have the highest blood pressure stress +hormones and heart rates +Moreover the upregulation of the sympathetic system is almost always a ratchet meaning +that shifts toward stress are generally steady and irreversible This is partly because many +experiences coerce us to breathe more shallowly but very few convince us that it is safe to +breathe more deeply The table below details the physiological changes associated with both +branches of the autonomic system +Sympathetic Parasympathetic +Nickname Fight or Flight Rest and Digest +Breath Volume Shallow Full +Breathing Rate Faster Slower +Muscles Tense Relaxed +Average Heart Rate Higher Lower +Blood Pressure Higher Lower +Stress Hormones High Low +Shortterm Memory Poor Good +Thinking Muddled Clear +Emotion Anxious Calm +Immune System Weakened Strong +Social Defensive or Receptive or +Communication aggressive assertive +Table The Autonomic Nervous System Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Branches +If were to walk over to my cat and bang my fist on the counter next to him his autonomic +nervous system would react strongly raising his sympathetic activity This would be very +apparent in the form of a fullbody startle and increased defensive activity After a few minutes +his autonomic activity would go back to baseline but repeated threatening surprises would +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +shift his baseline toward sympathetic upregulation If someone were to make a loud +unexpected noise next to me would also experience transiently increased autonomic arousal +Humans share a common ancestor with cats million years ago This funnylooking little +mammal would have shared its habitat with dinosaurs and would have had an autonomic +nervous system very similar to ours But the autonomic nervous system is much more ancient +than this +If you were to find a group of ants walking around on a tabletop then strike the surface +they were walking on they would freeze for an instant before running about their business in a +frenzy The neural components that receive and interpret the quick blow to the tabletop are +very similar in structure to our own Mammals and insects both inherit their autonomic nervous +systems from a common aquatic ancestor that lived around million years ago near the end +of the Precambrian supereon Yet we still share this same basic structure +Not all animals have an autonomic stress system Animals that live their lives attached to +rocks including corals sea squirts and anemones have no use for it Even some primitive +mobile animals such as jellyfish also lack this system We should consider ourselves blessed to +have it We just have to teach ourselves how to bring it under control because it is a great +servant but a terrible master +Ilustration Many orders of animals share similar stress responses and adapt to chronic stress in similar ways +know a man who is a psychopathic bully He is friendly to people at first to gain their trust +Then he says whatever he can to confuse upset and undermine them for his amusement +Before long his victims are breathless trying desperately to mount defensive arguments +against his red herrings Eventually he points at them laughs and says This man is fighting for +his life right now We are no different We overuse the sympathetic system during simple +social confrontations as if we were fighting for our very lives +The sympathetic system retunes our organs for intense uninterrupted physical exertion +This might be appropriate for a person forced to defend themselves against death on a minute +tominute basis But none of us do this in modern times Our stress system is set to overdrive +even though most of us sit on our butts throughout the day and the most upsetting things that +happen to us are minor verbal putdowns The likelihood of you dying prematurely is very low +but your body is operating as if it is high Persuade your body to stop this by choosing to +breathe in a new and different way as if your survival was guaranteed +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +To bring the sympathetic and parasympathetic back into balance we must recognize that +we are not fighting for our lives This is accomplished by spending more time with the +parasympathetic prevailing over the sympathetic How can we accentuate the parasympathetic +system Relaxed deep breathing But as you know maintaining a relaxed breathing pattern can +be extraordinarily difficult because we overreact to minor intrusions so strongly +Control Your Reaction to Stress by Mastering Your Startle Reflex +Your body has an inborn reflex known as the startle reaction that controls the frequency and +severity of stress Startle is a panic response to something alarming It is initiated in the +brainstem and kickstarts the sympathetic system It lasts for a fraction of a second between +onehalf and onefiftieth of a second and can be elicited by threatening stimuli such as loud +sounds and fastmoving objects It can also be elicited by thoughts about unpleasant subjects +such as dangers or deadlines When it happens our heart rate increases The next heartbeat +comes early which is a jarring experience This is often described as the heart skipping a beat +Adrenaline floods into the body The breath shortens We also gasp reflexively when startled +and this has the effect of making the breath shallower and more rapid Repeated startle +responses over weeks or months sensitize the startle pathway in the brain which explains why +anxious people are much more prone to startling +Startling can be very subtle in which case you may not realize that you have been startled +When subliminal startling happens continuously it is often recognized as nervousness The +submissive person will almost always experience more frequent startling than the dominant +person Highly submissive people will startle every few seconds during social interactions They +often startle during their own actions as if to apologize for them used to startle whenever +talking to someone It made me come across as shaken and fearstricken Sadly for some of us +startling and trembling are part of being nice +Startling devastates our composure You cannot look someone in the eye with a straight +face and decent posture after you have been startled Once another animal sees that you have +experienced a fullbody startle you immediately become prey With introspection and +patience we can learn to inhibit our startle magnitude and reduce our emotional reaction to it +To do this we must keep ourselves from overreacting when it happens When you feel yourself +startle dont get caught up in it or let it carry you away Instead let it wash over you like a +wave you have ducked under Reducing the startle reflex despite not being acknowledged by +mainstream science is feasible Some Buddhist monks have demonstrated significant inhibition +of their startle reflex even inhibiting almost all evidence of it +Startle also causes the bodys muscles to tense up Some muscles including those in the +hands feet face and abdomen are contracted intensely Contractions in the back jerk frail +spinal segments into unfamiliar positions Sustained contractions from frequent startling can +cause achiness and exhaustion Much of your muscular pain is centered in muscles overworked +by your startle response This is why it is important to cultivate awareness of how startle +manifests in your body so that you can ensure that you do not remain stuck in this +configuration +Aside from questions of frequency and intensity the posture you hold when being startled +is telling When your startle posture is indicative of surrender people and animals can see this +The way you carry yourself at the point of startle affects your default posture and comes to +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +dictate many aspects of your personality The fullbody startle is accompanied by specific +movements in mammals intended to protect certain body parts such as the neck and eyes In +human infants the eyes blink the face grimaces the back arches and the arms and legs flail +out with elbows and knees bent Adults form their startle postures over a lifetime Many people +flinch cower wince slump over flail duck backpedal drop things or buckle at the knees +In highlevel military police and martial arts training combatants are drilled to assume +specific fighting stances when alarmed Through repetition we can reshape the automatic +movement pattern that is recruited Most people startle recognizably several times every day +so you should have ample opportunity to correct your startle To begin experimenting on your +own start with Stress Adaptation Activity +Stress Adaptation Activity Designing Your Startle Posture +Imagine yourself startling How does it feel How do you usually move As you imagine it or +whenever it happens to you turn your full attention to how you respond Inspect your +actions and carriage and try to subdue the response Dont let yourself get caught up in the +emotions it evokes Also dont let yourself freeze stay loose and unfixed What do you want +as your favored startle position Look back at Table from the last chapter and think about +how it would feel to retain these optimal displays during and even after startling +recommend maintaining an erect posture a stable stance a calm face and steady +uninterrupted breathing Remember that diaphragmatic breathing inhibits the startle +response How do you orient toward the stimulus that startled you Face it headon rather +than turning away How would your role models startle How can you prepare or defend +yourself in a respectable way without submitting overreacting or lashing out +If touch my cat unexpectedly when he is nervous he will startle If hes not nervous he +wont We need to carry ourselves in a way that if something intense happens unexpectedly we +wont startle Reducing and reshaping your startle response is an example of how you can begin +to make progress in replacing anxious nonverbals with more healthy ones The discussion of +optimal postures throughout this book will help you determine what you want your startle +posture to consist of +Stress Adds Tension to Our Organ Systems +Over months or years elevated activation of the stress response can be highly detrimental to +health This is called stress adaptation and it reallocates the use of available resources in a +way that hinders the organism in the long term This is because most responses to stress are +desperate efforts to keep the organism alive just a bit longer The changes sacrifice longterm +investments in health and biological maintenance for intense shortterm expenditures Its an +ecological wager that acknowledges that the organism will likely not survive for years in the +present environment but may be able to survive long enough to reproduce one last time +Our modern bodies continue to make this same pitiful wager even though it is completely +unnecessary in todays environment The sympathetic upregulation that bought our ancestors +a little more time to reproduce today causes us strife adversely impacts our health +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +and sacrifices longevity Getting stuck in survival mode is antiquated and anachronistic It can +be seen as a Stone Age or even a Mesozoic the age of reptiles way of remembering just how +bad the environment is +Parasympathetic Sympathetic +Eyes SES +Constricts Pupils +Te Eyes +Kor Dilates Pupils +Salivary Glands Salivary Glands +Stimulates Salivation Inhibits Salivation +Heart +Accelerates Heartbeat +Heart +Slows Heartbeat +Lungs +Lungs io Dilates Bronchi +Constricts Bronchi +Stomach +x Inhibits Digestion +Liver +Glucose Release +CG Kidneys +Adrenaline Release +Stomach +Stimulates Digestion a +Liver +Bile Release +e +Intestines Cs +Peristalsis Secretion Intestines +Inhibits Peristalsis +Bladder +Contracts +QO +Bladder +Relaxes +Chain of +Sympathetic +Ganglia +Spinal Cord +Illustration How the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems affect the organs to prepare us for +either resting and digesting or fight or flight +The sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system revs up various organs Each of +these organs responds by overexerting itself differently Some people hold more trauma in the +stomach while others hold more in the face Each person has a different trauma setting for +each of dozens of modules and hundreds of muscles This gives everyone a unique pattern of +strengths and vulnerabilities Some of these modules correspond to functional structures such +as the swallowing apparatus the muscles of urinary control or the intestinal sphincters Some +modules may correspond to plexuses or clusters of nerves such as the pharyngeal plexus the +cardiac plexus or the solar plexus +These anatomical modules partially overlap with the ancient Hindu yogic structures called +chakras Chakras are thought to channel energy and correlate with both physical ailments and +emotional strengths Chakrabased practices are characterized as pseudoscience today because +they stem from an ancient philosophy that made some assertions that turned out not to be +true However the primary concept of the chakra has some validity Modern medicine +generally acknowledges that even the archaic descriptions of chakras bear a remarkable +resemblance to contemporary anatomical descriptions of nerve clusters +For example consider the throat chakra All of us hold some degree of tension in the +muscles that control the vocal tract This traumatizes our voice boxes and manifests as a painful +lump in the throat which worsens as stress increases It causes us to feel choked up +diminishes vocal range and makes the voice weaker and hoarser with age However we can +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +retrain our vocal apparatus using a series of exercises designed to relax and strengthen the +muscles restoring a broader vocal range and effectively healing this chakralike module This is +the subject of Chapter +illustration A Spinal nerve plexuses B Meditating yogi with chakras represented by circles C Internal organs +The extent to which our chakras have been impacted by stress and trauma determines the +extent of our submissive displays and our aptitude for composure In other words chronic +stress disfigures organs through developmental plasticity This includes tensing the muscles +behind the face nasopharynx retracting the genitals and contracting the smooth muscle of +the gut The people most afflicted are more susceptible to sensations like the jitters a +bleeding heart butterflies in the stomach the sensation of a heavy weight on the chest +and shortness of breath These forms of chakra discomfort are the primary causes of anger +pain shyness introversion and the background hum of persistent anxiety +Most of the time we dont notice our compromised displays the physiological dysfunction +or even the pain they cause Neither angry nor shy people understand that their behaviors are +dictated by the discomfort that comes from unbalanced organs Instead and quite +unfortunately they often attribute their responses to aspects of their environment They use +violence or submission to try to change the environment instead of using selfcare to change +themselves This lack of awareness allows their pain to control their behavior all the more +effectively +Each chakralike module has its own mini nervous system and each sends and receives +messages to both conscious and unconscious areas of our brain Our mind is continually +receiving updates from these modules and has the opportunity to send instructions back to +them However if you neglect to guide attention to the sensations the brain develops a blind +spot or scotoma for them making them almost impossible to selfregulate Program Peace will +help you develop an awareness of and control over these different modules We will focus on +sensing where the modules are whether you are straining them and by how much The +program will also help you learn how to hold them optimally while breathing diaphragmatically +so that you can combine them into healthful ways of being +Often when an individual attempts to withhold submissive displays other signs of +submission spill out despite their best efforts When someone unintentionally emits signals that +betray nervousness psychologists call this phenomenon tension leakage Examples of tension +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +leakage include a cracking voice swallowing at inopportune times body sway increased +blinking trembling fidgeting stammering and startling People who show such leakage early in +a confrontation are sometimes thought of as weak or soft Unfortunately most people +socialize by default in a state of moderate physiological distress just below their threshold for +tension leakage This book will also help you become aware of your tension leakage and try to +persuade you not to be afraid or ashamed of it +Stress Adaptation Activity Accepting Tension Leakage +Our bodies often betray us by showing others that we are anxious We know that other +people perceive this nonverbal tension leakage and make judgments about us Because it is +embarrassing this can add an additional layer of stress and pain When we know that other +people can see that we are choked up or our hands are shaking we feel we have been +humbled and fear this as a type of demotion +The next time you find yourself nervous in a social situation dont allow other peoples +perceptions of your composure to throw you off or make things worse Be a legendary +warrior like Gilgamesh Shaka Zulu Athena or Hattori Hanzo who has the focus and +gumption to continue unphased Instead of being crushed by your bodys demonstration of +its weaknesses let your heart shine right through them Push through the instability without +denying it covering it up compensating for it with anger or being defeated by it Learning to +do this will allow you to harness the energy seeping through the cracks and transform it into +excitement and power that you can reroute to your advantage +If you had to point to places in your body and say My anxiety exists in the pain feel +here where would you point Do you think it is possible to rehabilitate that area think it is +Do you think it involves muscles that can be contracted think it does As Chapter discussed +you can heal your chakras by bringing them to fatigue Holding the muscles involved in a firm +sustained contraction for several seconds will exhaust them If you are relaxed and breathing +diaphragmatically muscular exhaustion leads to recuperation +The chakralike modules are pots that are boiling over leaking everywhere People +engaging in tension management try to put a lid on the pot but find themselves constantly +cleaning up the spillage The exercises in this book take another route Instead of trying to +cover up the spills or hide them they turn down the heat on the stove so that you can exhibit +grace under pressure +Even Sea Slugs Take on Trauma +One of Earths simplest animals provides a great model for trauma The sea slug Aplysia +californica is a large shellless sea snail The Aplysia has a defensive reflex to protect its +respiratory organs from damage When the area around its gill is touched the animal retracts +the gill up into the bulk of its body The response is so simple and reliable that neuroscientists +have used it to study the cellular basis of protective reflexes +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +In neuroscientist Eric Kandel was awarded the Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine +for his research on these animals He decided to use the sea slug in his experiments because it +has very large neurons and there are only about twenty thousand of them Contrast this with +the one million neurons in a cockroach or honeybee and the billion neurons in the human +brain This simplicity however is no barrier to effective function The slugs are more than +capable of learning carefully about when and how much to retract their gills and thanks to +Kandels work we have a clear understanding of the neural mechanisms involved +The Aplysias gill retraction reflex exhibits a phenomencn called sensitization whereby the +reflex can be strengthened by adding a painful stimulus By shocking the animal with a small +amount of electricity experimenters cause it to startle Pairing the shock with a touch to its gill +can make its natural defensive response much more powerful Sea slugs trained this way are +constantly on guard withdrawing their gills more forcefully and for up to four times as long +when touched This change occurs because the slugs on high alert have generalized the +negative experience of the shock to other stimuli so that even a benign light touch elicits a +powerful withdrawal +Illustration A Sea slug Aplysia californica B Aplysia with gill fully relaxed C Aplysia with gill fully retracted +You could say the muscles and nerves involved in retracting the gill constitute a chakra +This is similar to how humans come to hold tension in muscles all over their bodies overreact +to unthreatening stimuli and generalize traumatic experiences to everyday life The Aplysias +gill retraction reflex is analogous to the reflexes responsible for a wide range of submissive +displays from our squinting eyes to our hoarse voices from our suppressed sexuality to our +tense diaphragms The only real difference is that the sea slugs are traumatized by actual +painful stimuli whereas most of our trauma comes from the way we interpret social +competition +The good news here is that the Aplysia can very easily be desensitized and so can we +When the slug is touched lightly and repeatedly without being shocked there is a progressive +decrease in how far it retracts its gill Gradually it relearns that there is no risk associated with +light touching and it becomes able to relax Such a decreased reaction to a stimulus is known as +desensitization or habituation Slugs cannot heal their own chakras in this way However by +simulating an optimal environment through relaxed diaphragmatic breathing and using the +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +right mindset we can Rather than researchers prodding us with electrodes we have social +contacts prodding us with provocation This book will teach you how to desensitize your +chakralike modules to their competitive attacks +Stress and Competition in the Dominance Hierarchy +Since the discovery of the pecking order among hens by SchjelderupEbbe in status +hierarchy has been understood as the predominant form of social organization in vertebrates +Animals that live in social communities must actively compete in the same space for resources +When food mates or territory are disputed dominant individuals will prevail over +subordinates Interestingly a tiered social system helps the group become stable and viable +over the long term On average it is beneficial for each member even for those of the lowest +ranks This is because it minimizes violent competition over resources by defining the +relationships among members Dominance hierarchies improve reproductive fitness for all the +animals involved by discouraging physical fighting thereby saving time and energy and reducing +the risk of injury +Unfortunately a stable hierarchy necessitates constant signaling Many mammals send out +submissive signals even before any direct confrontation occurs For instance the subordinate +dog will often whimper and place its tail between its legs in response to an immediate threat +Even in the absence of any threat it will carry its head low tremble slightly and adopt a +restricted tail posture all the time +In primates being harassed or subjugated by higherranking individuals even without any +physical contact is the major form of stress for many species But it is not just being +dominated that is stressful It is the compensatory response Submissive displays activate the +bodys sympathetic nervous system and create continuous strain on the muscles and organs +responsible for them +Chronic Submission Turns into Social Defeat +Most animals have a nearly equal propensity to display dominant and submissive displays in +infancy and young mammals often use both interchangeably in bouts of play However as the +animal matures one of the two types of display becomes more frequent and more +pronounced Their experiences with victory and defeat drive this shift The term social defeat +refers to losing a confrontation or dispute with a member of your species This happens +constantly in the wild The more frequently you feel defeated the stronger your submissive +signaling becomes It is anticipatory and preemptive Animals that lose repeatedly exhibit +chronic subordination wearing the extent of their social defeat on their sleeves to advertise +their place in the hierarchy +Cricket fighting is a popular pastime in China and provides a perfect example of social +defeat A cricket loses a match if it is thrown from the ring runs away from a battle or avoids +contact Studies have found that after just one loss a cricket can lose its fighting spirit and +will only fight again one time out of ten Rather than engaging in actual combat the insect will +simply flee the next time it is approached without even taking the time to size up its opponent +Other examples are just as dramatic In experiments with mammals the resident +intruder paradigm is often used This involves placing a subordinate rat near the cage of a +more dominant one Inevitably the dominant rat will make a dominance display resulting in +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +the subordinate animal being threatened and acting defeated Sometimes the submissive rat is +placed inside the dominant rats cage which leads to the intruder being attacked and forced +into submission Because the cage is small and escape is impossible the intruder will lie on its +back emitting distress calls and freezing behavior to appease the attacker In both +experimental protocols the submitting animals physiology is significantly changed +Social defeat is a source of chronic stress in animals capable of affecting both neuro and +biochemistry In mammals social defeat routinely leads to social withdrawal lethargy +reduced exploratory behavior anhedonia decreased sexual drive and reduced levels of +testosterone in males and females In humans it is linked to low selfesteem feelings of +depression avoidance anxiety and increased levels of stressrelated hormones One of the +most dramatic changes is the attenuation of the breath You may have noticed that after a soul +crushing defeat the most notable change is that it sucks the wind right out of you +There is good evidence that social defeat in humans leads to poor health and goes hand +inhand with sympathetic upregulation Low social status is a robust predictor of death and +disease in humans Several largescale public health studies have found that low +socioeconomic status is strongly related to illness disease and mortality The lower a +persons status the more likely they are to have cardiovascular gastrointestinal +musculoskeletal neoplastic pulmonary renal or other diseases This association between +disease and social status cannot be explained away by related factors such as age income +health behavior race sex or access to healthcare and is thought to be a direct effect of +stress In places where everyone is poor the effect is nowhere near as strong It is the +inequality that affects health and it seems that social stress is the real culprit as socially +isolated people and those who receive less social care and inclusion have a greater risk of dying +from any cause +Experiences of social defeat cause us to become preoccupied with matters of status Male +chimps are obsessed with it They organize most of their lives around issues of rank allowing +social struggles to consume their time energy and mental lives Chimps use intimidation +bluffs isolation tactics and obtrusive social maneuvers to challenge and undermine others and +dethrone the leader Similarly human gloryseeking behaviors personal vendettas crimes +and even largescale political conflicts almost always involve efforts by individuals to improve +their rank Innate tendencies to resist social defeat form the basis of human egotism hubris +false pride and insecurity The primate ego is the source of much of our existential suffering +Our egos reflect the place in the pecking order in which we imagine ourselves This is why +the ego plays such a pivotal role in our mental lives The ego is a neurological mechanism +designed to help us navigate the primate social hierarchy while avoiding defeat It causes us to +compulsively compare our attributes to those of others and to use these comparisons to guide +our use of dominance and subordination displays After using the exercises in this book to +rehabilitate your breathing and other bodily functions hope you feel divested of your +submissive inclinations and with them your susceptibility to defeat When this happens you +should feel that your ego expands to include others rather than exclude them +We want to develop egalitarian relationships in which there is no vying for dominion Dont +bother subjecting yourself to the neverending backandforth game of status displays Rise +above them To do this you must respond to other peoples aggressive and submissive displays +toward you without feeling compelled to respond with those of your own Doing so involves +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +subduing four central mammalian instincts This means that whether they play submissive or +aggressive you choose not to respond with either aggression or submission You will find that +virtually anything else you respond with will be perfect +Trauma Devalues Us +We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated It may even be necessary to encounter the defeat +so that we can know who we are Maya Angelou +This books premise is that due to our molecular heritage and primate ancestors +preoccupation with social competition we are highly susceptible to becoming stress adapted +This causes us to hold various lesions in modules throughout the body It poisons our minds and +causes our behavior to be desperate combative and vindictive It causes us to perceive threat +when it is not intended and appraise real threat as more dire than it really is The resulting +tendencies cause unnecessary negativity that significantly impedes humanitys cultural and +intellectual progress +Stephen Hawking once argued that the human race is equivalent to chemical scum ona +moderatesized planet used to think that we were scum in both senses of the world +grotesque biological waste and miserable immoral miscreants Now think it is the +symptoms and physical stigmata of stress that cause us to act reprehensibly For that reason +think that they make us scum In my mind however if we can transcend our physical +afflictions we can transcend our propensity for evil In doing so we would also rise above our +lowly biological origins +Dominant Animals Are the Least Aggressive +What happens to an animal that reaches the top Does an ape that becomes an alpha +individual in their group become more aggressive or less aggressive What is your guess Many +people tacitly assume that dominant individuals are more aggressive than subordinate ones +The opposite is true When an ape or monkey is accepted as the alpha of its group its violent +tendencies evaporate They are the most assertive while also being the least aggressive There +is no need for either violence or threat displays except under unusual circumstances as when +a rival challenges the alpha This is true of both males and females It is therefore +counterproductive for a human to act aggressively in an attempt to appear dominant What +they appear as instead is impetuous and foolhardy According to primatologists Richard +Wrangham and Dale Peterson +The male chimpanzee behaves as if he is quite driven to reach the top of the community +heap However once he has been accepted as alpha in other words once his authority +is established to the point where it is no longer challenged his tendency for violence +falls dramatically Personality differences and differences in the number skills and +effectiveness of his challengers produce variation in how completely he relaxes +However once males have reached the top they can become benign leaders as easily as +they earlier became irritated challengers What most male chimpanzees strive for is +being on top the one position where they will never have to grovel The difficulty of +getting there induces aggression +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +Scientific observations like this document for us that acting aggressive is a sign of weakness +and selfperceived inferiority believe that the main reason dominant primates are not +aggressive is that their own subordination signals no longer haunt them As with apes so also +with humans we are kept controlled by our egos and obsessed with issues of pride because we +want desperately to stop having to submit know this was the case for me My nonverbals +were so submissive that was embarrassed by them didnt want to appear weak so would +instead get angry angry enough to cross ethical boundaries Deep down we know that +submissive behavior is the source of much of our physical and emotional pain so we are always +seeking ways to feel confident in leaving submission behind But the necessary confidence is +elusive +In the last chapter we discussed how once we stop sending submissive displays we no +longer have to choose between assertion and aggression because being assertive without being +aggressive will become second nature How is this so Imagine you were always blushing +always sneering and that you always looked like you were about to cry Imagine how +frustrating and difficult it would be to come across as assertive To be assertive you would +almost have to be passiveaggressive Right Chapter will show you that the tension we hold +in the muscles surrounding our cheeks and eyes keeps us continually on the verge of blushing +sneering and crying +Releasing the tension responsible for such displays will allow you to reach true equanimity +and present you with a different option At this point you will have to choose between being a +good person and being a bad person You can utilize your newfound composure altruistically or +malevolently At this crossroads believe most people will realize that being good is the only +real path because once your submissive behaviors have disintegrated it will become clear that +they were always the primary drivers for bad behavior +can tell you from firsthand experience because went from one extreme to another +When felt was on the bottom was sulky illtempered and hateful always felt like had +something to prove The majority of my time alone was spent planning retorts and retaliation +experienced other people as a type of hell Since being desensitized by Program Peaces +exercises no longer feel these emotions at all Other people are just not a source of negativity +anymore +Our ingrained bodily habits make it difficult to just stop sending submissive signals Even if +somehow we could leave behind our mental concerns related to status our bodies would +continue to carry symptoms of social defeat like shortness of breath the rock in the pit of our +stomachs and the hot tension in our faces These are spiritual burdens that will inevitably drag +us back into the hierarchical fray This book will show you how to mend these symptoms and +how to lay down the burden of submission shame and stressful social comparison Where do +we start With the cornerstone of confidence breathing easy +Breathing Easy Will Pull You Out of Survival Mode +In most mammals shallow breathing accompanies submission and aggression while deep +breathing accompanies dominance and assertion A submissive chimp always greets a more +dominant chimp first and does so using a sequence of short pantgrunts These depthless pants +are indicative of selfhandicapped breathing Chimps whimper when acting submissively +producing a highpitched sound accompanied by attenuated breath We also breathe shallowly +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +around others especially when experiencing social anxiety believe that if it were studied +researchers would find that the extent of deep diaphragmatic breathing is an accurate +predictor of social dominance the number of offspring quality of life and a wide variety of +other positive outcomes in primates and all mammals generally Unfortunately there has been +extraordinarily little related research on breathing style in animals or humans +Recent experiments have offered us glimpses into the benefits of breathing with the +diaphragm Study participants that practiced deep breathing achieved significant reductions in +selfreported anxiety stress hormones heart rate breathing rate blood pressure and the +activity of the sympathetic stress system It also enhances mood oxygen levels pulmonary +function cardiorespiratory fitness and respiratory muscle strength as well as parasympathetic +activity Findings like these along with the benefits have experienced myself have led me to +believe that the most important message that you can send your body and its cells is Hey its +totally safe to breathe slowly and deeply +The scientific community knows shallow breathing to be an indicator of stress and +sympathetic overactivation But it is rarely recognized as a submissive and conciliatory display +Recognizing it as such is important in understanding how to counteract it We breathe shallowly +to show people we are listening to them that we are concerned and do not think of ourselves +as better than them We face strong unspoken social norms telling us to breathe shallowly +Tragically however it results in stress adaptation increases our tendency to startle creates +tension in chakras throughout the body and rewires our mind for negativity +It is possible to escape the social pressure to breathe shallowly We can do so by building +strong consistent diaphragmatic breathing habits training ourselves to breathe deeply under +every possible circumstance Deep breathing in social situations breaks the link between social +friction and fight or flight It allows you to stop responding to social pressures as if they are +matters of survival +Whether you are sitting in a meeting chatting with a friend having an argument or taking +an exercise class there should be only one competition that is going on in your head Out of +everyone in the vicinity you want to have the most relaxed breathing The only way to +accomplish this is to breathe slowly smoothly and deeply reducing the number of breaths you +breathe per minute Relaxed breathing will liberate you from the status hierarchy and is the +only thing that you should do aggressively The next chapter will show you how +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +Chapter Bullet Points +e Your body is a survival machine designed to support a competitive molecular +replicator namely your DNA +e Our biology prioritizes the DNA and for that reason our bodies are designed to sacrifice +our physical and emotional wellbeing for the sake of survival and reproduction +e Asone example of this we are built to adapt to stressful environments by upregulating +our stressresponse activity resulting in anxiety and pain +e Even in the modern world everyones stress system has been overactivated to some +extent This anxiety or hyperarousal results in chronic muscular respiratory and +cardiovascular fatigue +e Anxiety and chronic stress negatively affect every organ in the body These organ +systems are roughly congruent with the ancient Hindu system of chakrasfamiliar body +parts that need to be rehabilitated with love and care +e We use anxiety as a submissive display to prove to others that we are neither too +calm nor too good for them +e The overuse of submissive signals leads to the accumulation of trauma within our +tissues and organs especially the breathing muscles The result is often chronic defeat +otherwise known as depression +e Being nonsubmissive is not about being tougher than anyone else it is about not +wasting energy on competitive nonsense that leads nowhere +e Dominant mammals are usually the most composed and the least traumatized and +hyperaroused They dont feel any need to use anxiety as a form of social lubrication +e Deep diaphragmatic breathing is the foundation of dominant behavior because it builds +unconscious selfconfidence +e You can escape the cycle of social anxiety by breathing deeper and longer breaths in +social situationsfearing no one but treating everyone well +e Through developmental plasticity new gene expression you want your body to make +persistent beneficial adaptations that are responses to an optimal environment +To do this you must give the body the right cues to trick it into assuming that your +environment is safe and full of resources This is accomplished by breathing with +the diaphragm +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Dewitt T J Sih A Wilson D S February Costs and limits of phenotypic +plasticity Trends in Ecology Evolution +Kelly S A Panhuis T M Stoehr A M Phenotypic Plasticity Molecular +Mechanisms and Adaptive Significance Comprehensive Physiology +Gabriel W How stress selects for reversible phenotypic plasticity Journal of +Evolutionary Biology +Pigliucci M Phenotypic plasticity Beyond nature and nurture Johns Hopkins +University Press +Reser J E Chronic stress cortical plasticity and neuroecology +Behavioral Processes +DeWitt T J Scheiner S M Phenotypic plasticity Functional and conceptual +approaches Oxford University Press +Hoffman K M Trawalter S Assumptions about life hardship and pain +perception Group Processes Intergroup Relations +Lin K N Barela A J Chang M Dicus E Garrett S Levine M Oray S McClure +W O Prenatal stress generates adult rats with behavioral and neuroanatomical +similarities to human schizophrenics Society for Neuroscience Abstracts +Schneider M Roughton E Koehler A Lubach G Growth and development +following prenatal stress exposure in primates An examination of ontogenetic vulnerability +Child Development +Talge N M Neal C Glover V Early Stress Translational Research and Prevention +Science Network Fetal and Neonatal Experience on Child and Adolescent Mental Health +Antenatal maternal stress and longterm effects on child neurodevelopment how and +why Journal of child psychology and psychiatry and allied disciplines +Sapolsky R M Why stress is bad for your brain Science +Sapolsky Why stress is bad for your brain +Miller T A Control of circulation in insects General Pharmacology +Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress +McEwen B S Stellar E Stress and the individual Mechanisms leading to +disease Archives of Internal Medicine +Nelson R J An Introduction to Behavioral Endocrinology rd ed Sinauer +Associates Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science +Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great +game of life Academic Press +Laufer P No animals were harmed The controversial line between entertainment +and abuse Lyons Press +Alcock J Animal behavior An evolutionary approach ed Sinauer +Bjorkqvist K Social defeat as a stressor in humans Physiology and Behavior +Huhman K L Social conflict models Can they inform us about human +psychopathology Hormones and Behavior +Allen N B Badcock P B The social risk hypothesis of depressed mood +Evolutionary psychosocial and neurobiological perspectives Psychological Bulletin +Sapolsky Why stress is bad for your brain +Adler N E Boyce T Chesney M A Cohen S Folkman S Kahn R L Syme S L +Socioeconomic status and health The challenge of the gradient The American +Psychologist Kaplan G A Keil J E Socioeconomic factors and +cardiovascular disease A review of the literature Circulation +Pincus T Callahan L F Burkhauser R V Most chronic diseases are reported +more frequently by individuals with fewer than years of formal education in the age +United States population Journal of Chronic Diseases +Seeman T E Health promoting effects of friends and family on health outcomes in +older adults American Journal of Health Promotion +Stanford C The new chimpanzee A twentyfirstcentury portrait of our closest kin +Harvard University Press +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Wrangham R W Peterson D Demonic males Apes and the origins of human +violence Houghton Mifflin +Chen Y F Huang X Y Chien C H Cheng J F The effectiveness of +diaphragmatic breathing relaxation training for reducing anxiety Perspectives in Psychiatric +Care +Janet K S Gowri P M Effectiveness of deep breathing exercise on blood +pressure among patients with hypertension nternational Journal of Pharma and Bio Sciences +B +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly +and on Long Intervals +Regulate the breathing and thereby control the mind BKS lyengar +What is breathing Breathing is the exchange of gasses used by land animals to provide their +bodies cells with the oxygen They need that oxygen to burn food into energy Oxygen allows +cells to break down sugars derived from food and provide us with energy to move and think +Breathing takes many forms For example crickets simply circulate air through open tubes +while fish use gills to collect oxygen from water +In animals with lungs breathing is called ventilation During the ventilatory process air is +pulled into the lungs where gas exchange takes place Oxygen diffuses from the air into the +blood during inhalation and carbon dioxide diffuses from the blood into the air during +exhalation When the environment requires that an animal move more than usual its breathing +rate increases so that more oxygen can be delivered to its busy cells +Ilustration A Circulatory system of a cricket B Gills of a salmon +Mammals have muscles in the chest that act to inflate and deflate the lungs The most +important of these is a specialized muscle located beneath the lungs called the respiratory +diaphragm Other land vertebrates including amphibians reptiles and the late dinosaurs +exhibit a similar structure although theirs is simpler and sits above the lungs rather than below +The mammalian diaphragm changes its behavior depending on the immediate circumstances +focusing on efficiency in safe environments but producing paranoid overexertion in threatening +ones This chapter will describe how stress causes the diaphragm to produce quick shallow +strokes and how deliberately practicing longer fuller breaths can reinstate its proper function +Distressed Breathing vs Diaphragmatic Breathing +Breathing shallowly at short intervals is known as distressed breathing It is also known as +defensive breathing nondiaphragmatic breathing or thoracic breathing The behavior is +strongly associated with stress and anxiety disorders and tends to cause nervousness and +discomfort Distressed breathing is characterized by rapid uneven breaths punctuated by +gasps sighs and breath holding It can easily become habitual leading to serious longterm +dysfunction +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Distressed breathing has a reciprocal relationship with the brains stress and threat +response systems We breathe more defensively when we are afraid and we become more +afraid when we breathe defensively Distressed breathing is also used as a signal of submission +This is why improving your breathing will not only help you control negative thinking but also +help you become more dominant Indeed you will find that true diaphragmatic breathing is +incompatible with anxiety social and otherwise +People who breathe shallowly are usually unaware of the condition and do it unknowingly +throughout the day Most of us breathe by default with bated breath We wait for everything +in our lives with abated breathing as if a judge were about to announce our prison sentence +We do this even when circumstances are normal and unthreatening Everyone understands +more or less instinctively that inhibited irregular breathing is a source of tension and stress +This is clear from the popularity of idioms like waiting to exhale sigh of relief couldnt +catch my breath breath of fresh air give me some breathing room and short of breath +Breathing patterns are contagious and often modeled Children learn how to breathe from +their parents For this reason children often take on the anxiety level of their parents We +perceive others breathing patterns from their movements speech patterns sounds of +inhalation and exhalation and facial tension We all alter our breathing to accommodate or +match that of the people around us saw this clearly when my distressed breathing would +contaminate the breathing of others +Is your breathing unhealthy Likely so Imagine that you are threading a small needle with a +thin thread As you line up the thread with the hole are you holding your breath You shouldnt +be Experience pronounced distressed breathing firsthand by doing the following activity +Breathing Activity Simulating Distressed Breathing +Sit comfortably and focus on your breath Time your inhalations and exhalations to last only a +second each and breathe like this for seconds Next time each breath to last for just half +a second Continue to breathe this way for one minute or until you feel uncomfortable +whichever comes first Now stop and observe your body and mind How does your chest +feel How do your shoulders and neck feel How has your mood changed Wouldnt it be +terrible to be stuck breathing like this forever +After performing this activity most people report uncomfortable sensations such as +anxiety panic or tension accompanied by increased heart rate physical agitation +breathlessness chest pressure or even the feeling of starving for air These are the typical +outcomes of distressed breathing and many of us unnecessarily subject ourselves to them +daily An anxious person will breathe at an average rate of to breaths per minute A +relaxed person practicing diaphragmatic breathing will breathe only five to seven times per +minute Problems with diaphragmatic breathing are best conceptualized as falling on a +continuum rather than as a threshold There are no firm diagnostic criteria for distressed +breathing virtually everyone is somewhere on the spectrum +Newborns breathe diaphragmatically but by age ten diaphragmatic function is usually +minimized This is because few of us experience childhoods that our bodies interpret as +optimal The transition away from diaphragmatic breathing occurs during early childhood as we +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +learn which environmental stimuli should be linked to concern and worry The process is +normal and prepares us to be especially cautious in specific situations However by the time we +reach adulthood nearly every situation recruits distressed breathing just some more than +others Distressed breathing is implicitly conditioned to occur alongside many activities and +postures and these associations are often never unlearned That leaves us gasping when the +telephone rings holding our breath while sitting at the keyboard and hyperventilating during +everyday conversations +We cannot immediately switch from distressed breathing to competent calm diaphragmatic +breathing because we are held back by longterm physiological changes wrought by years of +breathing shallowly These changes involve a multitude of alterations to the muscles and nerves of +the respiratory system They cause the diaphragm to atrophy and become stuck in partial +contraction These changes are driven by gene activity constitute developmental plasticity and are +largely responsible for the sympathetic overactivation discussed in the last chapter Fortunately +the changes are reversible However you cannot pay anybody to retrain your breathing for you +and there is no pill you can take It requires time and discipline As with the other exercises in +this book you will find the breathwork rewarding once you start to see the results +Many therapists books and selfhelp resources promote breathing exercises Most of +these exercises last only a few seconds are intended to counteract panic attacks and come +with no guidelines for permanently changing breathing style Moreover users are often only +told to breathe deeply or focus on the breath without being provided any further +instructions Simply focusing on the breath is beneficial because it prompts the individual to +note when their breath is unnaturally shallow It causes the person to think Wait my current +predicament is not all that bad so why am breathing like there is something at stake That is +a productive first step +Awareness of desperation in the breath is a start but it does not address the problem at its +source Rather than simply focusing on the breath we need to actively lengthen and deepen +our breaths throughout the day to strengthen the muscles and reprogram the unconscious +breathing circuits in our brainstems Consciously overriding its injurious commands will rewire +your brain and retune your entire body +Diaphragmatic Breathing Utilizes the Respiratory Diaphragm +Deep nondistressed breathing is controlled by the diaphragm a domeshaped skeletal muscle +that separates the thorax containing the heart and lungs from the abdomen containing the +intestines stomach liver and kidneys Only an eighth of an inch thick it extends across the +bottom of the rib cage and moves air into and out of the lungs by changing shape It moves like +a plunger When it contracts the diaphragm moves downward drawing in breath resulting in +inhalation When it relaxes it moves upward expelling air and causing you to exhale The +diaphragm can move as much as ten centimeters but many adults use only around one +centimeter or of the total range Expanding the range of your diaphragm is essential +and designed this chapters exercises to do just that But first lets explore how to move the +diaphragm at all +Diaphragmatic breathing also known as eupnea in the scientific literature and belly +breathing in the vernacular is an unlabored form of breathing seen in untraumatized mammals +You should be able to observe it in any young mammal resting peacefully It is easiest to spot +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +in a sleeping infant a kitten or a puppy lying on its side The animals stomach will move up +and down with each breath How do you know whether you are breathing with your +diaphragm Your belly should move in much the same way Use the conventional guidelines for +belly breathing in the activity below +Breathing Activity Belly Breathing +Lie on your back with a pillow under your head Place one hand on your chest and the other +on your stomach Focus on how your belly moves Ensure that it rises with each inhalation +and falls with each exhalation When you are breathing with the diaphragm it displaces the +stomach causing it to move up and down On the other hand during distressed breathing +the chest neck and shoulders move and the stomach remains still +Distressed breathing makes you feel like you are growing taller and lengthening +Diaphragmatic breathing makes you feel like your belly lower ribs and lower back are +expanding Distressed breathing makes you feel like you are fighting to retain control over +your environment It can be hard to give up the false sense of security it provides +Diaphragmatic breathing may feel uncomfortable at first as if you are letting your guard +down to an extent that is unsafe You may find that letting your stomach rise takes courage +and a bit of faith +You should notice that that at certain points during your inhalation the diaphragm locks up +and the belly stops moving entirely Watch for these impediments Its almost like you are +trying to convince your diaphragm that it is safe to come out and play Try different breathing +styles until you find one that lets you easily and naturally keep your stomach rising and +falling It may help to place an object like a book on your belly Give yourself several minutes +to experiment +Exhalation Inhalation +N +Z y +Lungs rR Lungs +Deflate XS IN Inflate LY +W +Diaphragm J Diaphragm +Relaxes Y Contracts +J i +ft +Stomach Y stomach L Jf +Pulled In +Expands +IMlustration A Belly breather ensuring that the stomach rises and falls B Motion of the diaphragm +during breathing +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +The motion of ones stomach is the telltale sign of diaphragmatic breathing and this +method works for many people However most instructions for diaphragmatic breathing +end here This was discouraging for me because felt there should be a more substantial +protocol Moreover realized my stomach was rising and falling only because was using my +abdominal muscles rather than my diaphragm to suck it in and push it out No matter how +tried to vary my approach to each breath my stomach would not move unless used my +abdominals to move it My diaphragm was so tense that monitoring the motion of my stomach +did nothing for me wonder how many other people following these guidelines simply use +their abdominal muscles to mimic the movement without breathing diaphragmatically +After years of exhaustively reading the medical literature on anxiety became convinced +that my problem lay with my dysfunctional breathing style was determined to correct it but +couldnt find anything that explained how would lay on the ground for hours trying to +perceive the movement of my diaphragm to no avail The diaphragm has relatively few +proprioceptive nerve endings meaning that it is difficult to tell how much it is contracting and +where it is in space That makes it very difficult to perceive consciously which makes the +problem all the worse +Why did natural selection hide our diaphragm from us Perhaps as with the heart our +genes dont trust us to know how to control the diaphragm consciously Grievously the body +has a vested interest in keeping us from interfering with traumas adaptive manifestations If +our environment is seemingly drastic our genes want us to treat it as such One of the few +times we notice our diaphragms is when we have hiccups With this in mind try using the +following activity as an alternative route to getting a feel for your diaphragm +Breathing Activity Simulating Hiccups +Fake a hiccup ten times A genuine hiccup utilizes the diaphragm to generate force +Pay special attention to how it feels to move the diaphragm in the form of a hiccup As you +feel the muscle contract remind yourself that this is the muscle you want to use to power +your breath +A hiccup is initiated by a reflex arc that produces a spasm of the diaphragm myoclonic +jerk Hiccupping involves rapid abrupt diaphragmatic contractions Of course this is the +opposite of how you want to breatheie slowly and smoothly However hiccupping helps +you become acquainted with your diaphragm Fake a few hiccups and you will localize your +diaphragm in space and sensorium Another way to sense your diaphragm is to hold your +breath for to seconds You will feel a muscle between your stomach and chest pulsate +This is the diaphragm trying to jumpstart your breathing pattern +The key to sensing and recruiting the diaphragm is teaching yourself to breathe at a +smooth continuous and constant rate This automatically mobilizes the diaphragm because it +is what the diaphragm is specialized for and designed to do Shallow breathing stifles +diaphragmatic movement When the diaphragm is stifled we use other less efficient muscles +for breathing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration A Diaphragm lungs and respiratory airways B Diaphragm shown within and outside the rib cage +C The phrenic nerves send motor commands to the diaphragm and receive sensory information from it +Distressed Breathing Utilizes the Thorax and Clavicles +During distressed breathing the stomach doesnt move but the chest does It involves pivoting +the ribs around the joints where they attach to the vertebrae The thoracic or intercostal +muscles of the thorax perform this function The thoracic muscles form the meat in between +the bones of barbecued ribs The external intercostals swing the ribs upward and forward +powering inhalation The internal intercostals pull the ribs inward and downward powering +exhalation In a nutshell diaphragmatic breathing presses the floor of the lungs up and down +whereas thoracic breathing expands the walls of the chest inward and outward One effect of +this difference is that thoracic breathing does not fill the lower portions of the lungs with air +while diaphragmatic breathing does Thoracic breathing is inherently shallow It is also less +efficient because it requires more workand more breathsto transport the same amount of +oxygen into your blood +Clavicular breathing is another form of distressed breathing that involves a shrugging of the +clavicles and shoulders It is even shallower and less efficient than thoracic breathing It is also +called upper thoracic breathing as it only pulls air into the top third of the lungs Clavicular +breathing is a serious problem as it can nearly eliminate the function of the diaphragm +leading to even weaker less effective breaths +A respiratory physiologist can measure the extent of clavicular and thoracic breathing using +electromyography by placing electrodes on the muscles surrounding the clavicles and upper +thorax The electrode readout indicates how active these muscles are and thus how defensive +the persons breathing is You can observe this yourself by paying careful attention to the +movement of your shoulders during breathing If they move up with the inbreath you are +breathing with your clavicles Clavicular breathing becomes especially pronounced during +exercise In general you should never breathe with your shoulders As Chapter will explain +it is preferable to keep the shoulders still and pressed toward the floor +During ideal diaphragmatic breathing the thoracic muscles and the diaphragm work +together with every breath The diaphragm should lead the thoracic muscles setting the pace +and making each breath long and smooth As in the synergy seen between sympathetic and +parasympathetic branches of the nervous system the diaphragm is supposed to work in unison +with the thoracic musculature This synergy falls apart during anxiety when the thoracic +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +musculature and the sympathetic system take over We have so far encountered two major +antagonists in our story about chronic stress First we have the overactive sympathetic nervous +system Second we have overactive thoracic breathing It should come as no surprise that the +two problems collaborate exacerbating the detrimental effects The resulting distressed +breathing drains our energy ties knots in our muscles ages us prematurely and turns us into +nervous wrecks +The critical link between emotion and stress is the breath The fear and grief circuitry of the +brain activates thoracic breathing and inhibits diaphragmatic breathing Habitual thoracic or +clavicular breathing chronically overstimulates the sympathetic nervous system keeping heart +rate and blood pressure elevated while loading the diaphragm with muscular tension This +causes sympathetic overload On the other hand the neural circuitry for selfsoothing mood +stabilization and the calming branch parasympathetic of the nervous system is linked to the +diaphragm +There is a simple explanation for this The diaphragm is structured and situated to contract +slowly and steadily to take in just the right amount of air to oxygenate the body at peace +It moves at the optimal rate to procure the proper amount of oxygen needed in a tranquil +environment However its leisurely pace would be a hindrance to wild animals in a hostile +environment +Thoracic musculature is optimized to produce accelerated breathing during a crisis +Thoracic breathing allows mammals to actively modulate their breaths in response to +fluctuations in anticipated danger In the short run this would have helped our prehistoric +ancestors prepare for the increased oxygen requirements they would need for fight or flight +maneuvers Sadly most of us live in this mode even though we are no longer protecting our +bodies from predators or clubbearing maniacs The modern world has tricked our bodies into +thinking that our environment is too stressful to breathe peacefully when the opposite is true +Distressed Breathing and Social Rank +If you would like to experience pronounced thoracicclavicular breathing watch an internet +video of a violent street fight and pay careful attention to your breath The shallow rapidity will +become apparent You could achieve a similar effect just by watching an internet video of an +argument between two people This is because in primates social confrontation dysregulates +breathing nearly as much as physical violence When you feel disrespected cheated +or compelled to explain yourself you enter a state of respiratory distress When this happens +people usually act at two extremes either becoming conflictavoidant submissive or quick +to anger +Respiratory distress is marked by breathing so shallow that it interferes with your speech +causing your voice to falter You may feel like you are choking and suffocating at the same time +It is usually apparent to those around you and most people are embarrassed when it happens +to them The truth is that awkward social encounters cause most of us to experience a state of +respiratory distress throughout the day +My experience is that most people have little interest in using breathing exercises to +deepen their breath until explain to them that deep breathing is a dominant trait Then they +become eager Our respiratory behavior affects our social standing and how we are treated and +perceived People hear changes in the cadence and pitch of your voice that are caused by +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +distressed breathing and use them to make judgments about your level of confidence +Breathing is one of the most common markers of social rank +Diaphragmatic breathing retraining will make you practically immune to respiratory +distress With enough retraining people will be able to tell that you have little susceptibility to +it When your breathing shows no signs of distress people will not want to challenge or +provoke you because they realize they will reach respiratory distress before you do As you +develop your capacity for diaphragmatic breathing you will come to understand that the +people around you are constantly fighting wars of attrition to see who will show signs of +respiratory distress first +We also breathe shallowly in a distressed manner to communicate friendliness Because we +dont want to come across as overbearing or audacious or because we want to make others +comfortable we shorten our breaths and disengage the diaphragm In other words we breathe +in a distressed manner when we are afraid when we are mad and when we are being nice No +wonder it seems inescapable +Stifling and Neglecting the Diaphragm +Social and environmental stress are not the only causes of distressed breathing It can also be +the result of surgery or injury After colon surgery a gastric bypass a Caesarean procedure +or an appendectomy for instance the patient will have an incision wound on their abdomen +It is common for recovering patients to inhibit normal abdominal expansion during breathing +to avoid the pain of having their injury disturbed They learn to actively stifle diaphragmatic +movement out of fear of pain or stitches bursting at the incision site This learned pain +avoidance can be longlasting causing the patient to neglect the diaphragm and adopt thoracic +breathing as a fixed habit Chronic shallow breathing can result along with breathlessness and +anxiety It is uncommon for such patients to revert to diaphragmatic use even after the pain +from the surgery is gone unless breathing retraining therapy is undertaken You may have +never had abdominal surgery but to some extent past trauma and submissive signaling have +stifled your diaphragm in a similar way +Fortunately we have good models available for how to reinstate diaphragmatic use The +best of these is recovery from a ventilator In situations where medical patients are having +trouble breathing a machine called an artificial ventilator can be used to move air in and out of +their lungs When a doctor takes a patient off a ventilator they need to assess the persons +breathing mechanics to ensure the breathing musculature is strong and coordinated enough to +support unaided breathing Withdrawal from mechanical ventilation is known as weaning +Think of your thoracic breathing musculature as akin to a ventilator from which you need +to wean yourself Years of stress have caused the thoracic muscles to take control and your +diaphragm has weakened through atrophy caused by disuse The good news is that the +diaphragm can grow stronger quickly When you first start breathing diaphragmatically +it will be difficult It will feel as if you have been taken off a ventilator the muscles you are +forcing to breathe for you are not yet up to the job You will need to wean off thoracic +breathing by training the diaphragm encourage you to use the exercises in the rest of this +chapter to remove the ventilator of thoracic breathing and plunge headfirst into strengthening +your diaphragm +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +The Four Rules of Diaphragmatic Breathing +In the thick of my anxiety could tell that my breathing was highly dysfunctional used myself +as a model for what not to do and slowly made inferences about how to do the opposite of my +acquired tendencies read copiously about ventilatory mechanics and experimented with +numerous breathing styles Slowly after ten years of research introspection and trial and +error developed eight rules of diaphragmatic breathing This chapter will address the first +four which are +Breathe Deep high volume Breathe nearly all the way in by the end of each inhalation and +all the way out by the end of each exhalation +Breathe Long low frequency Engage in longinterval breathing breathing in for four to ten +seconds and breathing out for six to twelve seconds at a time +Breathe Smooth continuous flow Breathe at a steady slow nearly constant rate during +all breathing +Breathe Assertively confident Do not permit social concerns or life stressors to conflict +with the first three rules +Shallow Breath Short Breath Rough Breath +Distressed +Breathing SN +Deep Breath Long Breath Smooth Breath +Diaphragmatic +Breathing +Figure A graphical representation of the first three rules of diaphragmatic breathing The vertical axis +designates the depth of inhalation or volume of air in the lungs the horizontal axis designates time +A helpful way to improve your ability to monitor your breathing is to draw your breathing +pattern on paper Use the examples in Figure to work through the exercise below +Breathing Activity Draw Your Breathing Pattern on Paper +Sit down with pen and paper Become curious about your breath as if it is a phenomenon you +have never encountered As you observe each breath graph it with a free hand Make the +vertical axis correspond to the depth of the breath and the horizontal axis to how long each +breath lasts In other words volume on the yaxis and time on the xaxis Take different kinds +of breaths at different depths and frequencies Depict each as a curve on paper in real time +Just taking a few minutes to represent your breathing in this way will increase your breath +awareness helping you better visualize and monitor your breathing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +After my personal experimentation was convinced that adherence to these four rules +guaranteed diaphragmatic breathing researched these concepts to find support for them in +the scientific literature Further research brought me to the realization that certain clinicians +have been using tenets remarkably similar to these for decades For instance psychologist Erik +Peper developed an excellent system he calls effortless diaphragmatic breathing which +consists of a large tidal volume ml slow respiration rate breaths per minute +and continuous flow rate Additionally Resonant Breathing Coherent Breathing and the +Conscious Breathing Method are similar breathing methods that think are scientifically +accurate and very helpful +Related techniques for diaphragmatic breathing retraining have been used by relaxation +and biofeedback programs for decades They have also become popular in psychiatry and +clinical psychology and are now considered fundamental tools in cognitive behavioral therapy +Diaphragmatic breathing in general is now touted as an effective evidencebased stress +reduction intervention that is low in cost easy to use and can be selfadministered with no +equipment needed You might be wondering How is diaphragmatic breathing defined in +medicine Its simple In the clinical literature participants are considered as performing +diaphragmatic breathing if sensors show that they are breathing longer and deeper decreasing +the respiratory rate while increasing the amplitude of the respiratory waveform +Diaphragmatic breathing is well known to slow the heart rate and decrease blood pressure +It has been proven to reduce sympathetic arousal anxiety panic attacks and hyperventilation +syndrome It is also an effective treatment modality in pain management motion sickness +breathlessness and a range of psychiatric and medical disorders For all these reasons +diaphragmatic breathing retraining is used by healthcare providers around the globe +Participants in clinical stress reduction programs often report that the breathing stuff was the +most important thing they learned +Lets not forget that diaphragmatic breathing is also an ancient practice Scientists and +clinicians appropriated diaphragmatic breathing methods from India where they have been +used for thousands of years as part of religious and social customs Diaphragmatic breathing is +central to the practice of yoga Yogis use long deep inhalations and exhalations The Buddhist +form of meditation called anapanasati mindfulness of breathing and the Hindu practice of +pranayama control of breath have both explicitly utilized the first two rules outlined above +since antiquity Yoga teachers in every tradition make it clear that the only way to control your +mind is to cultivate control of your breath These sages advocate that we never stop paying +attention to it Yogis who are masters of svarodaya the yogic science of breathing claim to be +aware of every breath they take +Diaphragmatic breathing has been around for thousands of years and may just be the most +powerful tool in psychiatry if not medicine as a whole Why isnt it more mainstream How did +finish a formal education in psychology and brain science without being introduced to it +dont know for sure but think this is partly because it has never been taught correctly +Most existing breathing practices dont offer a systematic regimen to permanently increase the +depth and duration of breathing Consequently they dont provide enough of a benefit to make +a substantial difference for most people and thus are only used for extreme cases of anxiety +believe the unique program outlined in this book is so powerful that it can provide substantial +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +benefits for any user Hopefully by the end of this chapter you will agree Let us continue +by looking more closely at each of the four rules +Depth of Breath Increase Your Tidal Range +The average adult human has a total lung capacity of five to six liters of air but only a small part +of this capacity is used during normal breathing Nervous breathing will often involve +inhalations of less than half a liter We rarely breathe fully and most of our breaths are +confined to a narrow range This range is called tidal volume When you increase your tidal +volume which is done by deliberately breathing all the way in and out you increase your +likelihood of accomplishing the other two criteria of longer interval and constant rate +There is more than one way to deepen your inbreaths but the exercise below is one of the +most straightforward and reliable Its based on the work of Joseph Pilates who saw forced +exhalation as the key to full inhalation He advised his students to squeeze out their lungs as if +they were tightly wringing a wet towel Doing so improves the strength of your breathing +musculature quite rapidly Take advantage of this to increase your tidal range +Breathing Exercise Deep Breaths +Take five complete breaths For each breath inhale as much as you can and exhale as +much as you can To ensure that you are exhaling completely purse your lips and blow on +a fingertip as you did in Chapter until you can no longer feel your breath Both the top +and bottom of your exhalations will probably feel unfamiliar stiff and achy Just one full +evacuation of the lungs is often enough to kickstart diaphragmatic breathing because the +resulting vacuum automatically pulls the diaphragm through its full bottomend range +of motion +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Deep +Inhalation +Inspiratory +Reserve +Volume +Tidal +Volume +Expiratory +Deep Reserve +Exhalation Volume +Figure This graph shows a sine wave that indicates normal tidal volume The increase on the fifth breath +depicts a deep inhalation that extends the tidal range into the inspiratory reserve This is followed by a deep +exhalation extending the tidal range into the expiratory reserve Regularly extending the tidal range in this way +during breathing training will permanently broaden your default tidal volume and increase the involvement of +the diaphragm +Using an inspirometer while practicing Exercise can be very helpful An inspirometer +which you can purchase online for about ten dollars is an instrument that allows you to keep +track of exactly how much air you can breathe in vital capacity Using one consistently can be +helpful to track your progress You might consider monitoring your lung capacity for several +weeks with an inspirometer recording the results and watching your tidal range expand +At first it can feel uncomfortable when you breathe all the way in You might cough It +might feel like your lungs are going to pop It did for me Within two months of performing +Exercises and this all changed There was nothing uncomfortable about being at either +the top or bottom of my capacity and it no longer made me cough Before the training it took +me six seconds to inhale completely and about ten seconds to exhale completely After training +it took me only one second to inhale completely and only five seconds to exhale completely +What is more the maximum could breathe in as indicated by the inspirometer went from +to milliliters +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +Illustration A Inspirometer or incentive spirometer B Patient on a medical respirator C Two chest views +from the side depict a narrow diaphragmatic range versus a wide range +ye +The next activity will help you develop comfort while breathing outside of your normal tidal +range Focus on the uncomfortable sensations that arise Try to reinterpret them as +pleasurable try to associate the sensation of taking a full breath with satisfaction satiety and +fulfillment as if each full breath offers relief and rejuvenating sustenance +Breathing Exercise Breathe Outside Your Normal Range +Start by taking a full breath in Then without pausing resume breathing while remaining +near the top of your lung capacity In other words allow yourself short shallow +exhalations but keep taking full breaths in keeping your lungs full and your diaphragm +expanded Do this for ten breaths +Then do the opposite for another ten breaths Breathe all your air out then begin taking +very shallow inhalations alternating with full exhalations This will force your breathing +muscles to work outside of their normal tidal range expanding into the reserve volumes +and building a sense of comfort there +VV VW AVN +Figure A A graphical depiction of breathing above the normal tidal range for Breathing Exercise above B A +graph of breathing below the normal tidal range +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Length of Breath Paced Breathing +The typical adult breathing pattern is marked by shallow thoracic breathing at a rate of to +breaths per minute Many people with anxiety average from to which means each +inhalation and exhalation last only one and a half seconds A breathing therapy technique called +paced breathing will help you slow this down to a calmer and more grounded five to eight +breaths per minute +The goal of paced breathing is to extend your default habitual breathing rate Imagine that +you customarily breathe at a rate of twenty breaths per minute If you practice paced breathing +at a rate of five breaths per minute for several weeks the exercise will gradually decrease your +default rate from twenty down toward five The more you practice the closer your habitual +breathing rate will come to the target rate +ee DDADLA +Figure This graph displays a breathing rate of twenty breaths per minute during the first thirty seconds then +ten breaths per minute during the next thirty seconds then six breaths per minute then only two +The sympathetic nervous system fight or flight exhibits reduced activity when a person +takes fewer breaths per minute The correlation is direct and immediate Increasing the +number of breaths per minute causes sympathetic nervous system activity to spike whereas +decreasing this number causes it to plummet within one minute If you maintain a rate of five +breaths per minute heart rate and blood pressure drop nervous sweating declines and +subjective discomfort in response to threat declines significantly There is no easier faster +way to reduce sympathetic activation and the stress it causes believe that the most effective +intervention for life stress is paced breathing and that it should be used outside of the clinic +by everyoneon a daily basis +recommend using a breath metronome sometimes called a breathing pacemaker to aid +you in pacing your breath You can download one in the form of a mobile app for your phone or +tablet They generally cost between and S All Apple watch users are prompted by the +watch to use paced breathing daily They are guided for one minute to take four breaths +around sixsecond inhalations and eightsecond exhalations This is a step in the right +direction but to retrain your breathing it is necessary to spend several minutes per day +consciously engaged in paced breathing +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +developed a free app that you can use called Program Peace Paced Breathing It is +available for Android and Apples iOS The app gives both audible and visual cues to help you +time your breathing It displays a cylinder that fills and empties in time with your target +inhalation and exhalation rate Alternatively offer free downloadable audio MP files with +paced breathing cues on the Program Peace website As another option you can use the breath +metronome videos on the Program Peace YouTube channel My second favorite commercial +app is called Breathe Relax It was developed by the US Department of Defense for veterans +and individuals with posttraumatic stress disorder PTSD Please take a minute to procure a +breath metronome now +Recommended Breath Metronomes +Smartphone and tablet applications Program Peace Paced Breathing BreatheRelax +Breath Lesson Breath Pacer iBreathe Breathwrk Breathe Well Breath Counter +Pranayama BioBreathing Calming Breath Deep Breath Essence Tactical Breather +Audio MP tracks wwwprogrampeacecom +Videos The Program Peace channel on Youtube +It is very difficult to maintain paced breathing without using an external aid such as a breath +metronome In clinical studies of paced breathing most participants quickly return to baseline +in the absence of an external pacing signal You could use a clock or watch or you could count +the seconds in your head but this quickly gets tiresome and can be extremely difficult to +maintain as it relies on unwavering focus Unaided most of us are unlikely to stick with paced +breathing for more than a few seconds at a time By contrast using a breath metronome frees +up your mind to attend to other things You can do almost any activity with your breath +metronome playing in the background Having oneand familiarizing yourself with its use +is essential because the rest of this books exercises will require that you use paced breathing +z Pio +Poe +HOW TO USE THIS APP +PROGRAM +prooraw BREATHING RATE +ihe Breaths Por Minute +Intermediate hate fesse +shalt He so +min +breath +Easy Pace raiojsion Pi +Begisner Face wearer +Advances Pace enec IG +setow seen icra Sleep cou O +ox Breathina issisin I +x +Aste +Figure The Program Peace Paced Breathing app is free on both Apple and Android devices It contains a +breathing bar on the left side of the screen that rises on the inhalation and lowers on the exhalation +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +The next step is to find a reduced target breathing rate that will help you slow and +deepen your breath without overreaching Try the rates in the table below for thirty seconds +each until you find one that feels challenging but comfortable For many people the best +starting point is four seconds in and six seconds out for a total of six complete breaths per +minute This is an extremely healthy way to breathe want to encourage you to work up from +here toward an ultimate goal of five breaths per minute which is recommended by many +experts Its fine if you want to stay higher or go lower This standard of five breaths per +minute varies slightly depending on size and age For adults over six feet tall the ideal rate is +three to four breaths per minute whereas for children under the age of ten it is between six +and nine Any extension of your breathing interval will be beneficial Your goal should be to +train yourself to breathe at your target rate without any sense of effort or air hunger Be +patient this will take time The practice should feel sustainable and good +Inhalation Exhalation Breaths Per +seconds seconds Minute +Table List of Target Breathing Rates +Notice that in each row in the table above the exhalation is longer than the inhalation +This is because when you breathe out longer than you breathe in you activate the vagus nerve +the parasympathetic system and the bodys relaxation response The longer you can extend +your exhalations the more your autonomic nervous system will be pacified and the more your +heart will decelerate To augment this calming effect try to consciously relax during the +exhalations Think of every breath out as a long sigh of relief and the acceptance of a moment +of peace When youre ready to start explore your ideal breathing pace by working through the +activity below +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +Breathing Activity Using a Breathing Metronome +Use the chart above to find a breathing pace to work toward If you arent sure +x or x are good starting places for most beginners Once youve chosen a rate +set your breath metronome accordingly and sit or lie comfortably Follow the +metronomes prompts +Settle into a constant rate of inhalation that brings you to the top of your lung capacity at +the moment just before the metronome switches to exhalation As you breathe out find +a constant rate of exhalation that will allow you to reach near the bottom of your lung +capacity just before the metronome switches back to the inhale +Try working with the metronome for five minutes before a meeting or a date and you will +be amazed by your level of composure Practice paced breathing for ten minutes in advance of +an interview to give yourself a distinct advantage At a party excuse yourself for a few minutes +When you return you will find your social equilibrium restored It can help you relax your +muscles after a workout steady yourself after a stressful encounter prepare for the day or get +to sleep +Over the next few weeks find opportunities to include the breath metronome in your daily +routines often use it in the morning when wake up before go to bed while reading while +watching TV while working at my desk and during my commute dont use the mobile app +when driving because pressing buttons on the phone can be distracting and dangerous Instead +in the car listen to the breath metronome mps +Whenever you are doing monotonous busywork or your attention is otherwise free to +roam you can be breathing with a metronome Watching a movie is a chance for two hours of +calming grounding practice It can enhance the experience toowe usually breathe +thoracically when we watch film and television because of the suspense and tension that it +creates but paced breathing will detraumatize your psychological orientation toward even the +most intense scenes Put the metronome on silent and simply hold it in your lap or place it next +to the TV computer monitor or tablet so that you can use it passively while you attend to +other content +Use it with headphones while walking gardening or in the gym Let your use of it adapt to +your routines Regular use of a breath metronome will help you reestablish optimal breathing +and with it an optimal life think that breath metronomes should be found in every classroom +in every workplace in every therapists office in every yoga and Pilates studio in every +ambulance and beside every hospital bed +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Ininalle +Ilustration A Mobile phone with breath metronome application for paced breathing B Set your phone next +to your television so that you can be cued to perform paced breathing while watching your favorite show C +Grandfather clock with pendulum +Ago OoWoOonont +oyos +When you start staying with the metronome can be tricky If you have not yet filled or +emptied the lungs before the metronome switches go ahead and finish the breath that you are +currently on Quickly inhale or exhale the rest of the air before catching up with the metronome +on the next breath You may feel that you are getting too much air hyperventilating or not +enough hypoventilating This is normal and will pass but if it bothers you just choose a rate +that is closer to your default Work gradually toward a lower rate +To Avoid Getting Too Much or Too Little Air +If you are getting too much air or feel dizzy during work with the metronome simply +breathe more slowly You should be breathing at the same pace but inhaling less +powerfully filling the lungs a little less completely +If you are getting too little air or feel faint do just the opposite and increase the force of +your inbreaths Ensure that you breathe all the way in and all the way out Sometimes +the metronome will be going too slowly and you will feel air hunger If you still feel air +hunger disregard the metronome and take a few deep breaths using whatever timing +you need until you are ready to return to your target breathing rate +Paced breathing involves a learning curve At first it takes a fair amount of attention to +follow the metronomes cues and regulate the breath accordingly After just a couple of hours +of cumulative use you will find that it takes almost no attention at all This will encourage you +to do it more often and allow you to combine it with numerous activities If youre having +trouble settling on a breathing rate that feels comfortable use the table below as a rough +guide It lays out estimated breathing rates for what your target pace should be under different +conditions and cardiovascular demands +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +Beginner Experienced User Advanced User Inhalation Exhalation Breaths +User Time Time per +Minute +Jogging NA NA +Light Jogging NA +Exercise +Weights Light Exercise Jogging +Walking +Standing Weights Walking Light Exercise +Sitting Standing Weights Walking +Lying Down Sitting Standing +NA Lying Down Sitting +NA NA Sitting +NA NA Sitting Relaxing +NA NA Lying Down +Table Comfortable Breathing Rates by Experience and Level of Physical Activity +When Not Using a Breath Metronome +Try to focus on your breathing frequently throughout the day monitoring it and deciding +whether it is too shallow or too fast If so consciously deepen your breath +Catch yourself preparing to switch prematurely from breathing in to breathing out or vice +versa before you have taken a full breath Instead of switching prolong the tail end of the +breath in which you are currently engaged +Advanced paced breathing at a rate of fewer than four breaths per minute can be +powerfully relaxing should point out that it is not a comfortable or realistic default breathing +rate but training at this rate will help improve your default rate and train smooth breathing +which is the topic of the next section +Smoothness of Breath Breathing at a Constant Speed +The third element of healthy diaphragmatic breathing is the smoothness of your breath This is +a question of how fluidly you breathe and it ties together the previous two elements of your +practice Paced breathing and deep breathing can still allow for too much variability on a +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +momenttomoment basis This is where the flow rate of each inbreath and outbreath +becomes important +For instance at the beginning of my practice about halfway through each fivesecond +inhalation the speed of my breath would drop leaving the second half of the inhalation +weaker After this lapse would try to make up for it at the very end of the five seconds by +gasping was being lazy holding my breath midcount to get out of doing the work of +strengthening the diaphragm Instead we should try to breathe at the same rate throughout +each breath to keep the diaphragm engaged This involves breathing slowly gently and +steadily +The biggest barrier to smooth breathing is our tendency to switch from diaphragmatic to +thoracic inhalation when you near the top of your tidal range Every inhalation begins with the +diaphragm but once using the diaphragm outside of its default range we transition to a swift +thoracic inhalation to draw in that last bit of air Resist this instinct Instead try to get to the top +of your inspiratory reserve using only the diaphragm by breathing slowly and gradually Do the +exercise below to practice using your diaphragm throughout the entire inhalation +Breathing Exercise Practicing a Smooth Inhalation +Exhale completely Then inhale as slowly as possible Try to make the inhale last for at +least eight seconds but aim for to Notice how this feels It should feel natural and +normal for the first few seconds until your lungs expand beyond your usual tidal range +Maintaining a slow and constant inhalation rate will become more uncomfortable as you +reach the top of your tidal range Notice the urge to switch to an abrupt thoracic gasp and +resist it Continue to inhale slowly and steadily Take ten nonconsecutive inhalations in +this way +You experienced the impulse to switch to a rapid thoracic inhalation in the exercise above +because your diaphragm is not accustomed to providing steady suction for a breath outside its +normal tidal range think of this weakness as a diaphragmatic speedbump at the end of the +diaphragms habitual path Forcing smooth inhalations steadily past this range will rehabilitate +the muscular knot in your diaphragm responsible for this speedbump It will also accustom your +nervous system to utilizing the diaphragm more fully Breaking down this restriction that limits +your diaphragms range of motion is unique to the Program Peace system yet integral to +diaphragmatic retraining +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +Figure A Each of the three graphs starts with four shallow breaths for comparison In the first graph the fifth +inhalation is deep and long However the inhalation does not occur at a constant rate the slope of the line varies +As you can see it plateaus three times and ends with a gasp This person is gasping and breath holding because +they are uncomfortable breathing above their normal diaphragmatic range B The fifth inhalation in the second +diagram is also very deep However it is short in duration so it is basically a thoracic gasp the lines slope is very +high C The fifth inhalation in the third diagram shows the optimal breathing pattern of a long deep inhalation at +a steady rate with a constant slope +As you practice keep your flow rate steady by imagining yourself smelling a rose inhaling +very slowly as you savor its fragrance Or imagine that you are curled up with a small pet Make +your breathing as smooth and calm as possible to soothe it gently to sleep Realize that hasty +quivering jerky breaths would likely rouse and frighten it It is interesting to note that when a +cat purrs its breathing is slow even and powered by the diaphragm Above recommended +that you invest ten dollars in an inspirometer to monitor the depth of your breathing If you do +so purchase one with a flow rate indicator This will provide realtime feedback on how steady +and smooth your breathing is +Another option is to buy yourself a stethoscope to listen to your breathing You can find +these for around online When you put the bell of the stethoscope up to your mouth you +can hear tiny distortions and discontinuities in the breathdesperate little gasps These gasps +are more noticeable when you are selfdoubting and are sometimes described as fluttering or +catches in the breath It sounds a bit like the voice when it cracks While listening to these +distortions in my breath it became clear to me that breathing especially breathing deeply is a +struggle It doesnt have to be +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +The more slowly and fully you breathe outside of your tidal range the more you can hear +and feel these points of weakness in the breath The technical term for them is apneic +disturbances and they usually last for tiny fractions of a second They are such a basic feature +of most peoples breathing that they seem natural and normal but they are suboptimal without +a doubt These disturbances are caused by weakness in the diaphragm and correspond to +absences in its range of motion They are linked to the startle response and keep you feeling on +edge As the next activity shows you do not need a stethoscope to hear these +Breathing Exercise Smoothing Over Discontinuities +Cup both hands between your mouth and ear creating a bridge for the sound of your +breath Your breath should sound louder and the discontinuities in it should be more +apparent Listen for brief cessations or unevenness in the sound Once you notice them +concentrate on modulating your breathing so that these disturbances disappear making +the breath perfectly smooth and even The ribcage and stomach should be expanding +evenly as well Do not let the rate of your inhalation change Each second you should be +taking in the same volume of air Imagine that you are playing a single note on a trumpet +and carefully keeping its volume steady Try your best to ensure that the sound made is +smooth even and progresses at a constant rate +Pt tg gt yl +Illustration Person cupping their hands from mouth to ear to amplify the sound of the breath B Depiction of +a discontinuous rough breath compared to a continuous smooth breath +Buddhist and Hindu practices emphasize breathing through the nose and down the back of +the throat Many meditators concentrate on the ha or so sound this produces Creating an +even sound throughout each breath will ensure that the breath is being taken in at an even +rate To do this focus on maintaining the same sound from the beginning of each +inhalationexhalation to the end You know you are breathing diaphragmatically if the sound of +your breath is not changing Other ways to make sounds that you can monitor for constancy +include breathing as if you are fogging up glass making a hissing sound with your tongue +a haaaa sound with your voice a buzzing sound with your throat or a glottal sound with +your vocal folds Many meditators use mantras to accomplish this Using a stethoscope +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +cupping your hands or making a sound of some kind all accomplish the same thing So perform +Exercise using any of these methods +was concerned the first time heard my breath amplified by a stethoscope because +immediately recognized that these irregular pauses and gasps were unhealthy The irregular +pauses are magnified by adversity and are responsible for the sensation of respiratory distress +Breathing is strained whenever a single inhalation pauses slows or speeds up When someone +is stressed you can often hear them straining for more breath as multiple rapid gasps or +shudders will punctuate the inhalation The gasps occur when one is continuing to inhale +despite their bodys inclination to switch to exhalation The weakness in the breath tells us to +stop taking a full inhalation and go back to exhaling prematurely This is the same mechanism +that causes us to breathe shallowly and that creates the diaphragmatic speedbump This +phenomenon of fighting against oneself for breath is sometimes called paradoxical breathing +We are constantly modulating the rate of each breath from second to second depending +on our level of air hunger and transient stress We may alter the rate of a single breath many +times This is not ideal Tell yourself that you will stick with the same rate for the entirety of +each breath If you need to change the rate because you need more air change at the +beginning of the next inhalation or exhalation but not during an actual breath One helpful way +to assist you in this is through breathing exclusively through the nose which we will discuss in +Chapter +Imagine that your breath is an accordion that you have spent your life thrusting and +thrashing in a distraught feverish way Imagine now playing the accordion by moving your +hands very slowly and continuously stretching the accordion out to its full length and then +gently pressing it closed over and over +People who perform intricate manual work or marksmen who shoot targets find that +holding the breath helps steady the hands Once you reprogram your breath to be continuous +and smooth breathholding is no longer necessary to keep you from shaking As you paint an +eyebrow on that tiny face on your canvass or take aim at a distant target you will find yourself +smoothing out your breath rather than holding it +Distressed breathing progresses like an automobile that is alternating between stalling and +redlining You want your breathing to be like a reliable car engine purring on a smoothly paved +freeway with the cruise control on +Breathe Assertively +So far we have covered methods for breathing smoothly deeply and at longer intervals +The fourth rule is to breathe assertively We usually breathe as if we dont have any faith in our +breath A thoracic breather knows that a negative thought could interrupt the breath at any +time by prematurely turning an exhalation into an inhalation or vice versa This causes them to +breathe not only shallowly but cautiously and hesitantly as if they are tiptoeing It also keeps +them from breathing efficiently because they are not taking advantage of inertia If a breath +proceeds steadily it can capture its own momentum resulting in reduced effort +During hesitant unsteady breath the breathing musculature is constantly building and +then losing momentum +Model your breathing on the motion of a pendulum or some other uninterrupted +inevitable oscillating process Something that moves with certainty Each stroke of a pendulum +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +fully captures its momentum until gravity reverses the swing Any pendulum would be useless if +it slowed or stopped midway Picture your diaphragm stroking up and down in a slow but +unfaltering unagitated way Breathe out with certain knowledge that you are not going to +switch prematurely to a gasp Commit to each breath steadfastly +To feel comfortable breathing with confidence you will need to be willing to let the people +around you hear your breath You must not be afraid of being heard or noticed Instead be +proud of how your breath does not waver falter or hesitate Dont think that people will hear +it and be offended Breathe decisively and audibly if necessary for all to hear Breathing +assertively is the demonstration of true aplomb Start by using your imagination +Breathing Exercise Uninterrupted Inhalation +Take a deep long smooth breath all the way in Make the inhalation last as long as you +comfortably can preferably from five to seconds Do this eight times imagining each +of the distressprovoking scenarios below in turn As you do this dont let the upsetting +aspects of the scenario interrupt or cause discontinuity in your inhalation +Someone says something to offend you +You realize you forgot your phone +You notice you misplaced your wallet +You pass by a stranger while walking down the street +You hear a car backfiring or an earpiercing siren +You notice someone looking at you out of the corner of your eye +You tell someone what you expect of them +You are rudely awakened by a loud alarm +Many people who are widely admired and described as charismatic are merely assertive +breathers The selftaught dog behaviorist Cesar Millan is one such person He is widely known +for his Dog Whisperer television series in which he works with aggressive and abused dogs +In The New York Times attributed his success to his sense of equanimity describing this +as a sort of uberbalanced mien Millan calls it calmassertive energy and says that he +approaches dogs as a pack leader +There is good reason to believe that Millans effect on dogs derives from his breathing +Throughout the episodes of his TV series his breathing remains calm constant and resolute +despite repeated problematic encounters with both the dogs and their owners Cesar Millan +and people like him have an autonomous breathing pattern that is not susceptible to being +stopped short by the behavior or misbehavior of others Dogs are in tune with how the status +hierarchy is conveyed through breathing think the dogs know there is nothing they can do to +disturb his breathing so they listen to and respect him Millans techniques work as well on +abused and subordinated dogs as on aggressive and intractable ones +Respiratory rates and fluctuations in them constitute a language that all mammals speak +Try sitting near your cat or dog breathing calmly and then suddenly switch to short quick loud +breaths The animal will become concerned appear nervous and adopt your breathing pattern +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +If instead you breathe slowly and deeply they are likely to relax yawn and start stretching +If you breathe slowly and deeply while training or correcting them they will heed you +Health practitioners often need to assess their patients respiratory rate the number of +breaths inhalationexhalation cycles taken within seconds The method a doctor or clinician +uses to measure the respiratory rate of a child an animal or an adult can affect the +measurement Simply handling an animal will increase its respiratory rate giving a false +reading unless the animal is handled very gently in which case its respiratory rate may fall +Using a cold stethoscope to measure respiratory rate in a child will increase their respiratory +rate whereas other less obtrusive methods like counting the number of times the chest +rises may not +Clinical texts refer to the invasiveness of different methodological procedures for +assessing respiration A doctor that acts either domineering or too accommodating can raise it +Different aspects of our environment are constantly invading our respiratory dynamics +Dont allow your breathing rate or depth to be dictated by banal occurrences in your +environment Confidence starts with assertive uninterruptable breathing +The Connection Between the Breath and the Mind +Feelings of pain and frustration are compounded by shallow breathing Pride vanity and guilt +are also ramped up by distressed breathing and will focus on these relationships in later +chapters Shortness of breath makes us feel like we are suffocating In such a state we cant +help but think negative thoughts Once you have internalized the four rules and are breathing +deeply smoothly and at long intervals it will become clear to you that the mental bondage +chaining us to our ego and the social hierarchy is severed when breathing diaphragmatically +The discomfort from shallow breathing magnifies many addictive behaviors by making us +feel desperation Our breathing becomes shallower when we are hungry thereby strengthening +our cravings for food People use the phrase Im starving when they notice that their hunger +is affecting their breathing Similarly many people turn to cigarettes alcohol and anger when +they feel their breathing affected by unfavorable life circumstances When people use drugs to +change their emotional state they are really changing the state of their breathing +One can transform disordered breathing into quasihealthy breathing in minutes using +barbiturates sedatives or opiates However that effect is shortlived and the inevitable +withdrawal symptoms actually accentuate disordered breathing By contrast metronomeaided +paced breathing kicks in faster than drugs or alcohol and makes you a stronger person rather +than a weaker one Over time expect paced breathing to vastly increase your distress tolerance +and your capacity for emotional regulation +After started practicing paced breathing experienced a process of selfrecreation +At the end of this process had a new aura a new persona and a new relationship with others +The change within me elicited a different set of reactions from the people encountered +Strangers initiated pleasant conversations with me Individuals in crowded public spaces were +polite and at times even kind was more easily accepted in groups and committees found +that children and animals approached me without hesitation However it made some adult +males uncomfortable People who are competitive with you may assume at first glance that +your undaunted breathing pattern is a facade But even after a brief interaction they will +realize you are not faking it +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +You cant feign the poise made possible by diaphragmatic retraining Distressed breathing +on the other hand is a signal to predators that you are in panic mode When someone smells +fear they are actually sensing distressed breathing It tempts bullies to close in for the kill and +tends to intensify arguments into fights Diaphragmatic breathing does the opposite by +broadcasting assertive noncombative calm Diaphragmatic breathing safeguards you from +violence whereas thoracic breathing invites it +Many people only breathe easy in social situations in which they are with someone they +feel they can patronize and talk down to We should be breathing easy no matter who we are +with What people think about you how they are judging you and their current level of +displeasure should not be a factor in the equation that determines your ease of breathing +used to try to breathe more shallowly than everyone else around me to be polite This quickly +becomes dangerous to your health You may not feel comfortable with how secure you appear +to others when you breathe slowly and diaphragmatically You may feel there is incongruence +between it and your level of attractiveness strength or socioeconomic status Im writing to +promulgate the idea that there is never incongruity among these things +A part of us is afraid that breathing calmly around others is the ultimate insult We are +afraid that the other person will become angry if she sees us breathing too deeply We breathe +the most shallowly around the most dominant people in our lives This is partly because when +we breathe deeply our emotional reactivity decreases and our facial response time is delayed +Our faces become calmer and may appear less attentive You might feel that this makes you +look distant or disconnected +You will notice that you breathe at long intervals during a conversation that your face goes +blank and nonexpressive We need to get over the fear that someone will see us and think that +we look too calm As Chapter will discuss there should be no such thing as looking too calm +The best way to train this is to try to retain diaphragmatic breathing during all social +encounters It will become sincere with practice Dont let outside influences or internal fears +about them perturb your optimal breathing pattern +Breathe Diaphragmatically in Public +Diaphragmatic breathing in public is truly transformative When you first try it it will reveal +your tendencies for agoraphobia and social anxiety Within a few minutes you will start to +overcome them Heres what to do Take your breathing app with you to a restaurant coffee +shop caf picnic table or bench in the park Then using headphones listen to your breath +metronomes auditory breathing cues to practice paced breathing You will gradually feel +yourself letting go of social uneasiness As this new attitude becomes your default you will lose +your apprehension about potentially negative social outcomes making your outward +appearance more assertive and less defensive Other people will see in your face that you are +not afraid You will start to appraise the vast majority of people as harmless Instead of being a +potential assailant or judgmental critic each person will become just another face +Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Breathing in Public +Use your breathing metronome or paced breathing app in a public place with +headphones if necessary Good options include parks libraries malls and the block you +live on If you are moving notice how you feel obliged to shorten your breaths when you +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +pass by someone If you are seated notice the same when they approach you In either +case resist the instinct and continue paced breathing Notice how you feel like other +people are judging you for being too calm and realize how ridiculous that is +Alternatively try recruiting a friend to paced breathe with you +Breathe Diaphragmatically While Speaking +Once youve become familiar with breathing diaphragmatically in public try it in conversation +This is more difficult Many of us become short of breath during social encounters especially +when public speaking used to fully inhibit my diaphragm as soon as began speaking At first +tried workarounds like taking intermittent breaks from conversation to regain my composure +But that was socially disruptive What you want is to learn to breathe deeply and +diaphragmatically while speaking This isnt easy because you must formulate what you want to +say and simultaneously focus on monitoring your breath +The best way to start is to read aloud while breathing diaphragmatically It will likely be +uncomfortable at first because we all normally speak within a very narrow tidal range The trick +to calming your speech is to prolong your speaking time and ensure that anxious gasps do not +punctuate it The following exercise will guide you through the process note that it does not +use a breath metronome +Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Speech +Sit down with a good book Take a slow full breath in and then start to read aloud Keep +reading until you have no breath left to exhale Pause as you breathe in for five to ten +seconds and then resume reading Repeat this cycle for five minutes or for as long as you +like To do this you have to stop reading out loud for several seconds during the +inhalationsdo so patiently You should find that you inhale for somewhere between five +and seconds and that you speakexhale for between six and seconds Try to keep +your voice at the same volume and pitch even when you approach the end of your +exhalation It helps to speak in a calm friendly voice If you speak loudly and deeply while +doing this activity your voice will become louder and deeper with time This exercise will +make your extemporaneous speech balanced and collected +Find your limithow long you can read without inhalingand then repeat that level of +performance over and over To determine where that limit is try reading the remainder of this +paragraph without breathing in Continue until you cannot possibly speak another word There +should be a few seconds at the end where your voice changes appreciably and it becomes very +uncomfortable to speak Your voice will begin to waver and lurch You will sound like someone +in extreme respiratory distress and it may even start to feel like you just got punched in the +chest If you work on Exercise in this manner for only a few minutes every day you will +in short order alleviate this impediment and any related discomfort +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Breathe Diaphragmatically During Exercise +Another effective way to strengthen your diaphragm is to pair diaphragmatic breathing with a +cardiovascular workout Try taking a short jog focusing on the sensations you feel when +alternating between inhalations and exhalations You are likely alternating far too quickly Try +blowing nearly all the way out and breathing nearly all the way in with each breath This can +feel uncomfortable but is extremely healthful +Ironically many people breathe shallowly while exercising because they are concerned +they will not get enough air if they breathe too deeply The sensation of elevated heart rate +makes you want to take tiny breaths Ignore the panic signals from your heart and ensure that +you breathe in and out near full capacity As long as you are breathing heavily you are getting +plenty of oxygen When you persist in an exhalation even when you feel your heart beating +hard in your chest you are restructuring your unhealthy breathing patterns and breaking +through the trauma that underlies them Dont bother using your breathing metronome during +cardio just make sure you are taking full breaths Use the next exercise to get you going +Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Jogging +Take a light jog well within your comfortable limits for cardiovascular exercise As you +run begin extending your inhalations and exhalations Focus on the effort involved in +doing so and on the accompanying sensations Instead of panting at a rate of multiple +inhalations per second try to breathe in for one to three seconds and then breathe out +for two to four seconds Once you get a feel for it use this technique for all forms of +aerobic and anaerobic exercise +Breathe Diaphragmatically While Eating +Theres one other daily activity that deserves specific attention It is surprisingly difficult to +follow a breath metronome while eating a meal Attempting it makes us aware of just how +entangled our appetitive drives are with distressed breathing The first time tried it realized +that distressed breathing had created a starving ravenous creature inside of me The activity +below offers a puzzlingly difficult challenge that should pique your interest in the benefits of +diaphragmatic breathing The last two activities do not require the use of a breath metronome +but this activity like most of the activities in this program is greatly improved by using one +Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Eating +Set your breath metronome at your preferred rate Find space by yourself and set your +meal in front of you Start paced breathing Attempt to slowly consume the entire meal +while breathing at your preset rate Notice how aspects of the biting chewing and +swallowing are frenzied Slow everything down and pay attention to how your body +responds This may be frustrating because you are accustomed to shallow shortinterval +breathing while eating After a few meals though it will start to feel normal +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +Generalizing Diaphragmatic Breathing +For many people distressed breathing is pervasive and affects every aspect of daily life +This book aims to help you develop just the opposite an ingrained habit for deep +diaphragmatic breathing that you practice every waking moment As Chapter explained +this new habit will desensitize your stress system by pairing experiences that are normally +stressful and linked to thoracic breathing with diaphragmatic breathing instead +was partially inspired to create a system based on this concept by my experiences in the +yoga studio Hatha yoga revolves around yoking various stretches and poses with calm breathing +Since developing the present program have found that this concept is not even new in the +clinical arena It is a littleknown technique called generalization of diaphragmatic breathing +Some therapists use diaphragmatic generalization to help clients associate peaceful +breathing with distressing thoughts and other activities such as standing sitting and walking +Forming those associations ensures that proper breathing predominates in most life +situations Yoking relaxed breathing to various activities in this way can be considered a form +of systematic desensitization +Systematic desensitization is a psychological method used to help people overcome +phobias and anxieties It is a popular form of exposure therapy that uses counterconditioning +a Pavlovian process developed by South African psychiatrist Joseph Wolpe The idea is simple +If the source of the persons anxiety is discovered ie spiders the person is trained in +relaxation techniques ie reappraisal breathing and muscle relaxation exercises and then +guided to use these techniques while they are exposed to increasing levels of fearinducing +stimuli They might progress from talking about spiders to looking at pictures of spiders then to +videos of spiders and finally to holding real spiders Their fear of spiders is thus brought to +extinction by gradual exposure This cognitivebehavioral therapy technique is considered one of +the most effective in clinical psychology today It is used to help people become comfortable +with all kinds of stressors including things like elevators dogs knives and public speaking +As the last three exercises have illustrated you can apply the same principle to the +simplest of behaviors If you can maintain diaphragmatic breathing while you gradually and +systematically perform actions that would normally increase your breathing rate you can +habituate to these stressors and reprogram the way your breathing system relates to them +Taking this a step further you can even desensitize yourself to your attempts at assuming +dominant or optimal postures that would normally cause you to breathe shallowly +The rest of this books exercises are intended to be performed with paced diaphragmatic +breathing guided by a breath metronome This is done to make every nonsubmissive posture a +safe and fun place to be Having spent more than ten years pairing hundreds of different +activities with diaphragmatic breathing am sharing the ones that benefited my clients and me +the most Below is the fundamental diaphragmatic breathing exercise that would like you to +combine with every other exercise and activity in the remainder of this book please note that +Exercise from Chapter can be used as an alternative to breathing with a metronome +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Breathing Exercise Paced Breathing to Combine with Exercises +Set your breathing metronome to your target breathing rate which for most people +should be at least four seconds in and six seconds out Follow the metronomes prompts +Breathe deep full breaths If you can breathe through your nose Breathe slowly +smoothly and at a steady rate Breathe assertively +Heres a way to quickly and easily get a sense of just how powerful generalized +diaphragmatic breathing can be am going to ask you to do a deep backbend without paced +breathing and then again with it Lie down on your stomach on a carpet bed or soft surface +Then use your arms to lift your torso off the ground while your legs and hips lie flat performing +a gentle upward dog pose Notice how shallow and irregular your breathing becomes when +you do a backbend Lie back down and imagine what it would take for you to improve your +upward dog Lots of time and effort right Years of yoga training Not quite +Spend five minutes practicing the paced breathing method in Exercise above Now try +the upward dog again The position should be easier to hold and less stressful to perform +Your back should feel supported and safe rather than exposed and vulnerable and you should +have a sense that you are stretching and strengthening your lower back rather than straining it +The reason this works so well is that diaphragmatic breathing affects muscles directly Chapter +will address how distressed breathing makes muscles throughout your body close down with +tension while diaphragmatic breathing makes them receptive to being toned +Every time you repeat a breathing exercise you make innumerable cellular and molecular +improvements to the function of your muscular nervous and respiratory systems These +beneficial alterations accumulate As a bonus all the mental work involved in learning to +incorporate the diaphragm into your breathing is saved to procedural memoryin other words +routinizedwhich makes diaphragmatic breathing easier in the future +Conclusion +After six months of paced breathing decided to try belly breathing again This is the activity in +which one places a hand on the chest and another on the abdomen to check for natural +movement of the stomach with breathing outlined in Activity in this chapter Before +started there was nothing could do to use my breath to raise my abdomen Only half a year +later my abdomen rose and fell on its own with every breath To get your diaphragm back in +the groove work toward the following goals +Belly breathing once youve been pace breathing for a few months every breath should +move your belly +Aim to iron out all the apneic disturbances in your breath by breathing right through +them slowly and smoothly +You want deep inhalations and exhalations that reach the very end of their range to feel +comfortable +Work toward increasing the target breathing rate you picked for yourself earlier in +this chapter +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +Your goal should be to progress to the point where you are training somewhere in the +vicinity of five breaths per minute x Once you have trained here comfortably for around a +dozen hours you will be belly breathing Spending time practicing at a much lower rate such as +x is slower than optimal for everyday breathing but amounts to a form of crosstraining +that will help strengthen you overall +To accomplish these goals as quickly and efficiently as possible recommend spending at +least minutes each day practicing paced breathing with a breath metronome That may +sound like a lot but it is easy You can do it while you watch TV In the coming chapters we will +talk a lot more about the breath and introduce four more tenets of optimal breathing +In Chapter we will return to the material from this chapter and view it from the perspective +of hyperventilation and nasal breathing In the next chapter though lets put what you have +learned about paced breathing to work and pair it with exercises intended to rehabilitate the +windows to the soul the eyes +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e The brains fear and grief circuits are tied to distressed breathing They inhibit the +diaphragm causing breathing to become rapid and shallow +e The more traumatized a mammal is the less its diaphragm moves with each breath +The animal instead recruits other muscles to power breathing and the diaphragm +atrophies +e Disuse due to stress reduces the diaphragms range of motion and causes it to +become stiff +e Most people breathe in a narrow diaphragmatic range This range narrows further as +stress increases You want to expand your diaphragms range of motion by breathing +more deeply +e To engage the diaphragm fully follow these four rules breathe deeply breathe +at long intervals breathe smoothly and breathe assertively +e Breathing slowly deeply and smoothly forces the diaphragm to contract evenly +increasing diaphragmatic strength coordination and range of motion +e It is common for people with anxiety to have inhalations that merely last one second +and exhalations that last only two seconds +e To rehabilitate our breath we should practice breathing at least three seconds in and +five seconds out x To make this your default breathing rate it helps to practice +breathing at even longer intervals Performing paced breathing at x and working +toward x will accomplish this +e Weakness in the diaphragm is apparent in the form of tiny gasps or unevenness in the +breath called apneic disturbances which are associated with the startle response +e You can iron out apneic disturbances by breathing smoothly at a slow and even rate +e Breathing assertively involves making sure that social concerns do not interfere with the +first three rules You want to breathe deeply smoothly and at long intervals while you +are socializing +e Using a breath metronome daily is essential to developing a strong diaphragmatic +breathing habit because it will allow you to train yourself to follow the four rules while +you focus on other tasks and activities +e Monitor your breathing carefully during conversations dont let it become shallow +e Your breath should be a tiny but continuous sip of air that never pauses and always +proceeds at a steady rate +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +Program Peace Paced Breathing Session Tracker +Starting Date Ending Date +You can use this page by placing a check inside each box after you complete five minutes of +paced breathing There are boxes for a total of minutes This equates to two five +minute sessions a day five times per week for weeks Once you have checked every box you +will have completed the goal outlined in Exercise and should be well on your way with +diaphragmatic retraining +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Meuret A E Ritz T Hyperventilation in panic disorder and asthma Empirical +evidence and clinical strategies International Journal Psychophysiology Lum L C +Hyperventilation syndromes in medicine and psychiatry A review Journal of the Royal +Society of Medicine +Ravinder J Crawford M Barnes V A Harden K Selfregulation of breathing +as a primary treatment for anxiety Applied Psychophysiological Biofeedback +Hamasaki H Effects of diaphragmatic breathing on health A narrative review +Medicines Basel +Lippincott W Wilkins Stedmans medical dictionary th ed Julie K Stegman +Farhi D The breathing book Good health and vitality through essential breath +work Henry Holt +Ford G T Whitelaw W A Rosenal T W Cruse P J Guenter C A Diaphragm +function after upper abdominal surgery in humans The American Review of Respiratory +Disease +McConville J F Kress J P Weaning patients from the ventilator New England +Journal of Medicine +Levine S Nguyen T Taylor N Friscia M E Budak M T Rothenberg P Zhu J +Sachdeva R Sonnad S Kaiser L R Rubinstein N A Powers S K Shrager J B +Rapid disuse atrophy of diaphragm fibers in mechanically ventilated humans New England +Journal of Medicine +Peper E Tibbetts V Effortless diaphragmatic breathing Physical Therapy +Products +Elliot Edmonson D Coherent breathing The definitive method theory and +practice Coherence Press +Olsson A The power of your breath The secret key to reshaping your looks your +body your health and your weight Anders Olsson +Gevirtz R N Schwartz M S The respiratory system in applied psychophysiology +In M S Schwartz F Andrasik Eds Biofeedback A practitioners guide rd ed pp +The Guilford Press +Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals +HazlettStevens H Craske M G Breathing retraining and diaphragmatic +breathing techniques In W T ODonohue J Fisher Eds General principles and empirically +supported techniques of cognitive behavior therapy pp John Wiley Sons +Hopper S Murray S L Ferrara L R Singleton J K Effectiveness of +diaphragmatic breathing on physiological and psychological stress in adults A quantitative +systematic review protocol JB Database of Systematic Reviews and implementation Reports +Gervitz Schwartz The respiratory system in applied psychophysiology +McGeary C A Swanholm E Gatchel R J Pain management The encyclopedia of +clinical psychology John Wiley Sons +Stromberg S E Russell M E Carlson C R Diaphragmatic breathing and its +effectiveness for the management of motion sickness Aerospace Medicine and Human +Performance +Borge C R Mengshoel A M Omenaas E Moum T Ekman Lein M P Mack U +Wahl A K Effects on guided deep breathing on breathlessness and the breathing +pattern in chronic obstructive pulmonary disease A doubleblind randomized control study +Patient Education and Counseling +Vranceanu A Gordon J R Gorman M J Safren S A Behavioral medicine +strategies in outpatient psychiatric settings In T Petersen S Sprich S Wilhelm Eds +The Massachusetts General Hospital handbook of cognitive behavioral therapy pp +Springer +van der Kolk B A Stone L West J Rhodes A Emerson D Suvak M Spinazzola +J Yoga as an adjunctive treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder A randomized +controlled trial Journal of Clinical Psychiatry e +Lichstein K L Clinical relaxation strategies WileyInterscience +Elliott S Edmonson E The new science of breath Coherent breathing for +autonomic nervous system balance health and wellbeing Coherence Press +Gervitz Schwartz The respiratory system in applied psychophysiology +Clark M E Hirschman R Effects of paced respiration on anxiety reduction ina +clinical population Biofeedback and Selfregulation +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Brown R P Berbarg P The healing power of the breath Simple techniques to +reduce stress and anxiety enhance concentration and balance your emotions Shambhala +Publications Gervitz Schwartz The respiratory system in applied psychophysiology +Bae D Matthews J J L Chen J J Mah L Increased exhalation to inhalation +ratio during breathing enhances highfrequency heart rate variability in healthy adults +Psychophysiology e +Remmers J E Gautier H Neural and mechanical mechanisms of feline purring +Respiration Physiology +Wallace A October Whispering to Rottweilers and to CEOs The New York +Times +Millan C Peltier M J Cesars way The natural everyday guide to +understanding correcting common dog problems Random House +Peper Tibbetts Effortless diaphragmatic breathing +McGlynn F Smitherman T Gothard K Comment on the status of systematic +desensitization Behavior Modification +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with +Wide Eyes +The soul fortunately has an interpreteroften an unconscious but still a faithful interpreterin the eye +Charlotte Bront +Eyes are essential for animals to perceive their surrounding environment and were among the +first organs to evolve even predating the development of gills and lungs The vast majority of +animals have eyes Even some singlecelled organisms have eyespots or patches of light +receptive proteins However mammals are one of only a few classes of animals that use their +eyes to communicate +Mammals visually inspect other animals eyes for social cues often determining where the +other animal is looking what its mental state is and whether the other animal is returning its +gaze Humans more than any other animal use the eyes to communicate intention and +emotion How you look at others and how you use your eyes affects you on a deep +psychological level By modifying the involuntary patterns of your gazing behavior in the ways +described in this chapter you can foster your sense of wellbeing improve the quality of your +relationships and ensure your social interactions are positive and empowering +This chapter focuses on four ways that subordination unconsciously impoverishes our eyes +posture squinting raising the eyebrows looking down and avoiding eye contact +All four are relatively simple to change with the application of consistent effort As you read on +youll come to understand both how these behaviors can be harmful and why it is worth +investing your time and energy in changing them +Open the Eyes Wide and Refrain from Squinting +Many mammals appraise the intent of other animals by the wideness of their eyes +Widened eyes are intense and bold communicating fearlessness Squinted eyes are defensive +and associated with either attack or submissiveness For instance you may notice your dog or +cat squinting slightly and looking at the floor after brief eye contact They do this to +demonstrate unobtrusiveness Humans squint in social situations for much the same reason +it communicates propriety However when squinting happens too frequently the muscles +take on tension Chronic squinting like shallow breathing is another example of a suboptimal +display that has the potential to reduce our standard of living +Squinting is controlled by the orbicularis oculirings of muscle technically sphincters +that encircle the eyes and open and close the eyelids Of all the muscles on the surface of the +human body the orbicularis oculi display the most conspicuous evidence of cumulative strain +This is because the skin surrounding the eye is unusually thin and easily reveals discoloration +creasing inflammation and the accumulation of fluid These conditions are caused by chronic +squinting and lead to purple rings dark circles and bags under the eyes The muscle fibers of +your orbicularis oculi have become tonically contracted maintaining a squinting posture +throughout the day without you being aware The solution to this postural eye strain is to train +yourself to widen your eyes so that they squint less frequently and to a lesser degree +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +The activity below will ask you to position yourself in front of a mirror with your eyes as +wide as possible You will realize that it is not easy to keep them wide and that your lower +eyelids become tense as your thoughts drift to other topics Thats the force of habit reasserting +itself Your eyes are accustomed to squinting by default due to the actions of lower brain +centers You may even notice that they twitch involuntarily when you think negative thoughts +Squinting acts as an anchor in the face that recruits wincing +Once you have observed the habitual tension for yourself you are ready to start changing +it Your goal is to stop overusing the orbicularis oculi muscles and instead start relying on the +underused levator palpebrae superioris instead which opens the eyes wide After completing +the exploratory activity below you should notice that your eyes look wider and friendlier for +several hours +Eye Activity Watching the Lower Lid +Sit or stand in front of a mirror with your eyes as wide open as possible Ideally you should +be able to see your entire iris and a bit of white border above and below it If you cant set +this as the goal You should notice two tendencies Your lower lid will tremble and tighten +revealing a tendency to revert to squinting Your eyebrows will raise on their own Your job +is to keep your eyes wide and your brow fully lowered and limp for five full minutes You +should notice that performing this activity is much easier when using a breath metronome +Illustration A Orbicularis oculi muscle encircles the eye and controls squinting B Eyeball in the eye socket +Eye movement is controlled by ocular muscles surrounding the eye Eye wideness is controlled by the levator +palpebrae superioris above it +A friend once said to me See these bags under my eyes never had these before spent +two years partying staying out late smoking cigarettes doing drugs and drinking They +developed abruptly And even after stopped partying so hard they never went away Most of +us have creases under our eyes and had only seen them get worse with time so assumed +that the change in my friends appearance was permanent But his comments did start me +wondering about the underlying biological reason for changes in the skin around our eyes It +took me years to realize that the problem is caused by muscular strain from excessive squinting +and years more to confirm that it is completely reversible Chapter will show you how to +massage the muscles of the eyes and forehead which is necessary to fully release the muscles +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +and erase the dark circles But this chapter will help you change how you use the muscles +surrounding your eyes during daily life which is arguably more important +At first you may feel these eye exercises are driven by vanity which is uncomfortable for +most of us but at a certain point you will realize that your real motive is inner bravery +Reducing the appearance of eye strain is merely an aesthetic side effect of widening your eyes +Far more important are the effects on emotional prosperity It is well documented that +negative emotions generally cause squinting and that positive emotions cause eyewidening +Squinting itself is never an emotionally neutral activity Squinting is the continual elicitation +of the defensive blink response which evolved to protect the eye from damage Animals squint +unconsciously when they feel the safety of their eyes is in jeopardy Imagine pushing your way +through faceheight tree branches for instance You will feel your eyes instinctively narrow +That is why most mammals squint when fighting or when they anticipate a fight erupting +Heavy squinting is a form of trauma that maintains a defensive eyelid posture and disinhibits +the blinking reflex Mammals that feel threatened blink hard and fast whereas mammals that +feel safe blink very slowly Practicing a few slow blinks will help you widen your eyes and +develop a calmer blinking pattern +Eye Exercise Slow Blinking +Blink ten times very slowly Blink another ten times as slowly as you can The calmer a +mammal is the slower it blinks However most people have no awareness of or capacity for +slow blinking until they practice it +As you might have guessed the startle response and distressed breathing both heighten +squinting They are all part of the same neurological circuit Allowing unconscious brain centers +to maintain tension in the eyelids sends messages to other threat centers in the brain +communicating that the current environment is potentially threatening to the eyes This is +ironic because in todays world our eyes are rarely threatened In the ancestral past it was +adaptive for anxiety and fear to potentiate squinting but today work and relationship stress +are practically never indicative of impending damage to the eyes +Your stress response also spikes when you widen your eyes during social situations If you +were hooked up to a machine that measured your sympathetic nervous system activity +it would spike every time you opened your eyes all the way Wide eyes give us a sensation of +showing off and that in turn makes us breathe shallowly in an attempt not to be too forward +or noticeable Exercise overrides this by asking you to pair paced breathing with widening the +eyes Performing the exercises herein will make it so that your body becomes accustomed to +having the eyes wide without breathing shallowly +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Man raising eyebrows B C Women with apparent strain in the orbicularis oculi +Eye Exercise Wide Eyes with No Facade +Do one or both of the following two things spend ten seconds gently rubbing your eyelids +and upper cheeks to stimulate blood circulation or spend ten seconds squinting tightly +Both actions will potentiate squinting +Next spend five minutes within four feet of a mirror trying to make your eyes as wide as +possible while keeping your brow relaxed Drop your social facade and just look into your +own wide eyes It is okay if you look insane or demented After a couple of minutes you may +feel you are staring into your soul You should feel comfortable looking at everyone this way +This will reset your eyes to a wider aperture and diminish your overreactive superficially +pleasing veneer Once you have the coordination you can achieve it without a mirror +Consistent practice will lead to continued improvement +Like rubbing the eyes and squinting them tightly crying also encourages squinting to linger +When most people cry they look sad their eyes become puffy and they continue to squint for +hours afterward However this is not a necessary part of crying Immediately after the next +time you cry sit in front of a mirror breathing diaphragmatically and widen your eyes for five +full minutes For the rest of the day your eyes will feel light carefree and wide instead of +compressed and miserable The reason for this is that crying actually involves deep squinting +and a full healthy contraction of the orbicularis oculi rather than the continuous partial +contraction that usually takes place This sends blood to the muscles and makes them more +responsive to efforts at widening As we will discuss in depth in later chapters one of the best +ways to get a muscle to relax is to contract it to fatigue it and then give it a chance to rest fully +This means that crying is good for you as long as you help yourself recover in a healthy +emotionally uplifting way That fits with its functional purpose Humans are the only animals +that cry and biologists have hypothesized that it might serve a communicative function that +asks for help and elicits altruistic behavior from others It has also been characterized as a +reliable signal of appeasement and vulnerability because by blurring our vision it handicaps +aggressive or defensive actions think that more than anything else crying serves to fatigue +the respiratory muscles and the facial muscles especially the ones involved in squinting and +sneering enabling them a period of respite afterward +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +Relaxing the orbicularis oculi will look and feel artificial at first A few weeks of concerted +effort combined with diaphragmatic breathing will fix this making it your new default state +When first attempted to stop squinting looked absurd appeared like a sickly drug addict +that had been startled or like an uptight person trying too hard to appear calm At times felt +my face was a leering death mask It took several weeks for the rings under my eyes and the +general sleepless appearance to fade With time the cheeks and the areas under the eyes +began to look less puffy lose their discoloration and appear healthier When you are alone +shoot for a bugeyed look Soon it will pass for normal Once it does do it in public When +you realize that your eyes remain wide open when speaking to others you know you have +gotten the hang of it Once you do going back to squinting will feel like glaring +Many military personnel and people suffering from PTSD have a tense look that is centered +around the eyes Pictures taken before and after warzone deployment illustrate this +dramatically Many martial arts instructors and students squint often have one eye more +affected than the other and have dark circles under their eyes This is because walking into a +martial arts studio without squinting sends the signal am not afraid Unfortunately this sign +of bravery is one that many people are too conscientious to allow themselves to make This is +also a case of art following life The most heinous villains in cartoons and storybooks are +portrayed with dark creases under their eyes On the other hand people who are candidly +carefree and cheerful are often portrayed as wideeyed Many children look this way naturally +and their appearance is mimicked by artists and animators trying to create an impression of +innocence angelic virtue or even naivet It usually works as in the case of many Disney +characters because what we perceive are eye muscles with no signs of cumulative strain If a +persons eyes dont advertise a history of defensive posturing we subconsciously assume that +they can negotiate the world without defensive thinking Common phrases in the vernacular +like sensitive eyes gleam in the eye sparkling eyes light in the eyes or twinkle in the +eyes describe this effect Bring the brightness back to your eyes by living with your eyes wide +all the time +wu +Eye Activity Techniques to Widen the Eyes +Open your eyes wide and keep them there Now raise your eyebrows for a fraction of +a second and widen your eyes even further in the same moment Subsequently allow +your eyebrows to relax while keeping your eyes just as wide This will help you reset +eye wideness +Gently pull down on the skin just below your eyes exposing the underside of both +eyelids to the air and open your eyes as wide as you can Hold the position for a few +seconds and then let go +Looking to the far right or left side of your visual field can help widen the eyes Hold +this sideeye posture for several seconds As you move your eyes back to the +center the eyes may go back to squinting again Dont let them It is possible that like +me you have repressed looking to one side with wide eyes due to a natural fear of +giving people the sideeye Dont be +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Practice widening your eyes while looking down You can do this while watching TV in +a reclining position from a couch armchair or bed Notice your tendency to squint +while you do this and instead make your eyes as wide as possible +Practice microsquints Start in front of the mirror with your eyes wide open Fix your +gaze on your lower lid and practice briefly making the smallest squint you can and +then releasing it Your lower lid should move less than a millimeter Repeat this +twenty times Developing this subtle control will help you build awareness of the +unconscious muscular contractions involved in squinting +Think of actors with especially wide eyes Your eyes can look just like theirs The actors +youre thinking of may not have earned their ocular posture having just fallen into it due to +favorable or lenient early environmental circumstances By following the neural reprogramming +exercises in this chapter along with the muscle massage and compression exercises in Chapter +you can earn it In fact all the exercises from Program Peace zero in on optimal microhabits +that you may not have fallen into but you can instead earn through repetition +Another aspect of the squinting problem worthy of our attention is squinting while +sleeping Many people sleep with their faces screwed up tight their teeth clenched and their +eyelids clamped together To determine whether you fall into this category start by asking +yourself this What state are my eyes in when wake up Most of us clench them shut during +the night contracting the entire ring of the orbicularis oculi from the cheeks to the eyelids This +amounts to hours and hours of lowgrade repetitive strain +To avoid nighttime muscular strain in your face you will need to close your eyes with the +upper lids rather than the lower ones This involves contracting the inner palpebral portions of +the orbicularis oculi which perform eye blinks as well as the ciliary portions which control the +rims of the eyelids To do this you need to learn how to contract those muscles and then +strengthen them with consistent practice If your upper lids are not strong enough to close the +eyes on their own the lower lids will rise to meet them introducing the strain you are trying to +avoid Most of us have weak upper lids which is why we end up squinting whenever we close +our eyes +When you squint during sleep your eyelashes are swallowed up by your lids and the skin +around the eyes will wrinkle However if you close your eyes using your upper lids your +eyelashes will be fully visible and your eye area will be smooth Every night before sleep +practice shutting your eyes very tightly using only the upper lids think of this as eyes wide +shut When you start to use your upper lids the muscles may flutter and waver because they +are weak This will subside with time Repeat the exercise until the muscles develop the tone +they need for the action to become second nature Enjoy the more relaxed sleep that results +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +Illustration Eyes closed by straining the lower lids B Eyes closed by modest contraction of the upper lids +Eye Exercise Stop Squinting in Your Sleep +Spend two minutes closing your eyes using only the upper lids Do this without squinting and +while keeping the lower lids wholly relaxed During the second minute tightly clench the +upper lids to exercise the muscles and help them develop tone Perform this exercise while +looking upward to make it harder Also spend a few seconds alternating between using the +upper lids and the lower ones to isolate and dissociate the two actions +One common problem with eyewidening exercises is dry eyes You will find that the outer +periphery of the eyeball which is normally covered when you squint feels dry when exposed to +the air This is normal and happens only because the area is not used to being uncovered Dont +let the dryness keep you from widening your eyes for prolonged periods You can use eye drops +a few times a week and then gradually transition off them Another helpful option is to use the +following simple technique to naturally stimulate your tear glands to lubricate your eyes +Eye Activity Lubricating the Eyes by Stimulating the Tear Glands +When your eyes begin to feel dry keep them open for several more seconds until you are +forced to blink Once you do close them tightly using only the upper lids Keep them closed +and wait for them to start stinging That stinging sensation is the stimulation of your +underused lacrimal glands and tear ducts It is the feeling of secreting tears Most of the time +you open your eyes when they sting ending the secretion process Instead embrace the +stinging breathe through it diaphragmatically and wait for your eyes to produce their +natural aqueous lubrication Doing this frequently will increase the natural moistness of your +eyes and allow you to widen them further +If you perform these exercises you will gradually develop the ability to keep your eyes +open wider Bright light is another hindrance The next section will address how to keep your +eyes wide even outside on a sunny day +Expose Your Eyes to More Sunlight +Most people wince and squint heavily in both direct and indirect sunlight Living most of our lives +indoors we get far less exposure to the sun than our ancestors did We have become acclimated +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +to dim environments which causes heavy squinting when we finally make it outside You may +have noticed that people with fulltime outdoor jobs such as gardeners and construction +workers often have no trouble keeping their eyes wide when standing in direct sun +The good news is that squinting in the sun is merely a habit and one that can be completely +unlearned with practice After performing the following exercises you will be able to +comfortably be outdoors with your eyes completely open The most basic exercise is to increase +your exposure try to position yourself in just the right amount of indirect sunlight to let you +bask in it wideeyed After a while youll be able to expose yourself to brighter and brighter +light without squinting +Eye Exercise WideEyed Sunlight Exposure +Go outside during the day and find a place in the shade where you can comfortably open +your eyes all the way Make sure that you arent squinting or raising or lowering your brow +Remain wideeyed for at least five minutes The next time you practice try to find a place +that is a little bit brighter +Eye Exercise Sunlight Through Closed Eyes +Allow yourself to sit or lie in the sun with the sunlight hitting your face Close your upper lids +without squinting The sun should be hitting your eyelids It should be very bright and you +should be seeing red Make sure never to look directly at the sun itself even with your eyes +closed Breathe diaphragmatically Remain in the sun for a full minute Over time practice +will allow you to tolerate more sunlight and improve the look of your eyes making them +healthier calmer and wider You might consider performing this exercise from behind a +window or car windshield to partially reduce your exposure to UV rays +Studies have shown a significant relationship between depression and diminished exposure +to sunlight The opposite is also true increased exposure to sunlight may ameliorate some +forms of depression and even common malaise Traditional forms of light therapy which use +bright artificial lights have shown great promise believe that this therapy is efficacious +because it teaches patients to become comfortable without squinting and tightening the face +in the presence of bright light Unfortunately this form of clinical therapy does not explicitly +address squinting However you can and using the sun you can do it at no cost Pairing bright +light exposure with diaphragmatic breathing while remaining wideeyed could help make you a +brighter happier person +It can be hard to maintain your new wideeyed facial posture in social situations One way +to support your practice is through the strategic use of sunglasses If the sun is making you +squint put them on If you enter a social situation in which you know you are likely to squint +put them on Then with the sunglasses on open your eyes as wide as possible This will train +you to feel comfortable keeping your eyes wide while speaking to and interacting with others +By the time you choose to take the sunglasses off your eyes will be large and peaceful +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +Refrain from Chronically Raising the Brow +The next thing to focus on is the position of your eyebrows Most of us cannot widen our eyes +without raising the brow and many people squint automatically when they let their eyebrows +relax This is because widening the eyes is not submissive while raising the eyebrows is and we +are conditioned by social experience to balance one with the other We offer submissively +raised brows as a peace offering to compensate for wide eyes The problem of course is that in +doing so we are simply trading one form of tension for another +The biological details are interesting The eyebrows are raised using a contraction of the +frontalis muscle which controls the movement of the forehead Among many mammalsand +primates especiallyit is an appeasement display while lowering the eyebrows in a frown is a +display of dominance The frown uses the procerus muscle to pull down the inner brows which +are then drawn together by the corrugator supercilii Together those two movements induce +furrows in the lower forehead +Evidence regarding the social effects of eyebrow posture is compelling The brows are +generally raised in primates low in the hierarchy and lowered in those high in the hierarchy +Raised brows correlate with the tendency to flee during disputes among human children +People rate pictures of models with lowered brows as more dominant than models with relaxed +or raised brows Monkeys seem to feel the same way Rhesus monkeys submissively avoid the +gaze of humans with lowered brows but gaze at humans with raised brows for prolonged +periods The question is Why are raised eyebrows subordinating Researcher Caroline Keating +offers one possible explanation +Some expressions characterizing the dominance encounters of nonhuman primates involve +eyebrow position Generally the brows are lowered on dominant or threatening individuals +and raised on submissive or receptive individuals Theorists have speculated on the +evolutionary origins of facial gestures Darwin believed that many expressions evolved from +serviceable associated habits or preparatory responses associated with attack defense +locomotion or changes in visual or respiratory functioning Several current theorists agree +Selective pressures apparently shaped certain elements of preparatory or supportive +responses into displays that reflected the original impetus of the behavior Thus submissive +brow raising may have evolved by originally aiding the visual scanning of animals in +threatening circumstances Because lowered brows protect the eyes from physical harm +and facilitate nearfocusing during attack perhaps this behavior evolved as a dominance +gesture by forecasting physical aggression +It is thought that our propensity to raise and lower our brows may derive from ear +movements used by our ancestors before they lost muscular control of their ears Many +specialists believe that raising the eyebrows is a throwback to the ear retraction reflex that +pulls the ears backward Ears back is a submissive display seen in most mammals In contrast +lowering the brow likely originates from ear protraction which pushes the ears forward and is +an assertive display in many mammals Like direct eye gaze ears forward communicates that +the sensory apparatus is focused on assertive or predatory action Stated simply the animal +chasing has it ears forward the animal being chased has its ears back +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Eyebrows lowered B Eyebrows raised C Cat on top with ears forward cat on the bottom with +ears back +Whether you are raising or lowering your eyebrows doing so too frequently for too long +will lead to muscular strain and psychological tension As we will discuss in Chapter the +optimal posture is neutral eyebrows and wide eyes Again this involves relaxing the frontalis +and the orbicularis oculi and lightly and infrequently contracting the eyelidwidening +levator palpebrae +Practice Frowning and Glaring to Increase Nonverbal Dominance +You should make an effort to become comfortable frowning and glaring Body language experts +agree that frowning measured by the decreased distance between the eyebrows and the +pupils is strongly associated with dominance and leadership Unfortunately many of us are +afraid to frown because frowning in a social situation involuntarily recruits the stress response +You can conquer that reaction using the next exercise +Exercise reduces eyebrow raising and increases the size and tone of the frowning +muscles Someone who appears accustomed to frowning ie who does it spontaneously and +effortlessly comes across as someone who has spent a lot of time being in charge When you +start using your new frown around people dont use it to intimidate but rather to express +empathy or resolve Do it the way the king of the jungle an empress or a superhero might +do it +Eye Exercise Relaxed Frowning +Spend five minutes frowning as hard as you can while engaging in paced breathing Holding a +firm contraction in the procerus may feel very awkward and may even sting but it will +reprogram you not to be afraid to use this highly dominant display Keep your eyes wide the +rest of your face relaxed and your breaths coming in deep and long +Most of us have grown up afraid of giving someone else the evil eye so we have stricken +this contraction from our repertoire and left a glaring omission in our ability to emote using +our eyes The glare is a temporary and intense contraction of the squinting muscles Glaring is +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +considered dominant because you generally must be authoritative to get away with it Lets +not use it to threaten people Use it very briefly to demonstrate concentration conviction or +valor You might choose to do this exercise as well as the previous exercise in front of a mirror +so that you can combine them with eye contact while monitoring your face +Eye Exercise Relaxed Glaring +Spend five minutes glaring as hard as you can while engaging in paced breathing Squint your +eyes tightly so that the opening is tiny and you can barely see through your eyelashes Hold +this contraction and try to keep it from wavering or trembling As you do so you might +pretend that you are confidently leading a large group of people through a snowstorm or a +sandstorm Holding a firm contraction in the part of the orbicularis oculi that contracts the +eyelids will help you develop its strength and coordination Take a second break every few +dozen seconds so that you dont push the muscles into persistent contraction +When was in junior high school my Dad asked me Jared why do you always look timid +and afraid in your yearbook pictures Try not to make that face anymore tiger At the time +had no idea what he was talking about do now constantly raised my eyebrows and +squinted but never frowned or glared so that would appear friendly Used briefly eyebrow +raising can communicate curiosity and engagement but overused it without giving the +muscles any rest It appeared affable in the short run but caused my face to become very tense +and age rapidly in the long run Use a brief eyebrow raise as an olive branch but do not use +extended eyebrow raises that go on for more than just a few seconds Those are white flags +Look Upward +The stress that overtook me at age caused me to lose the hair on my head rapidly Ashamed +of my bald spots between the ages of and wore a hat seven days a week For years +the brim of a baseball hat blocked the sky from my view training me not to cast my eyes +upward My whole behavioral repertoire involved looking down Then when turned +shaved my head and stopped wearing hats Suddenly became aware that had developed +a behavioral blind spot for the entire space above me That revelation galvanized me to train +myself to look up +We have all learned to habitually cast our gaze downward We often do this to avoid eye +contact all the while signaling submission disinterest or fear The vast majority of us do this +customarily even when alone Most peoples nervous systems are so conditioned to looking +down that they do it even when they dream How dismal +Most of us have grown up in an environment that discourages us from looking up in the +presence of others Other peoples reactions to our upward gaze have communicated to our +unconscious brain systems that we should avoid looking up for fear of reprimand or reprisal +The subject matter that makes a person glance at the floor is very telling and provides a +window into their insecurities More than this looking down is neurologically tied to depression +and anxiety through numerous brain pathways It is another habit that stifles our soul on a +neurological level +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +To overcome this we can do two things train our nervous system to look upward +through practice and build the ocular muscles responsible for lifting the eyes The exercise +below is a great way to determine whether the muscles responsible for looking up superior +rectus have atrophied from disuse +Eye Exercise Strengthening the Muscles that Allow You to Look Up +Close your eyes and use your index fingers to press your upper eyelids and eyelashes down +pinning them against the top of your cheeks Refrain from squinting Next look straight up +for several seconds Then look up and to the left then up and to the right Keep at it for to +seconds It will likely burn and feel uncomfortable in the muscles around your eyes If it +does then you know they have atrophied and can be strengthened by repeating this +exercise Simply repeating the exercise on five different days should vastly reduce any +burning and help tone these muscles +used to look at the floor unconditionally when speaking would look at the ground +around my feet during most conversations Somehow didnt understand that this was a +primary reason couldnt keep a conversation going Try to stop looking down when you talk to +people People who are more severely affected can start looking at waist height then shoulder +height and so on Work toward being able to keep your gaze up around the height of your +head Once that starts to feel comfortable work on looking up during conversations above the +shared eye line +It is generally discourteous to look directly above another persons head so look off to one +side As you look up during the conversation you might be concerned that the other person will +become puzzled or suspicious of this If you are not accustomed to looking up are not used to +breathing deeply when doing it or if your ocular muscles are weak the other person will likely be +able to tell that it is unnatural for you Again the only way for it to look natural is for you to practice +People look up for many different reasons With the head facing down it can be coy and +suggestive With the head neutral or facing up it can communicate boredom Looking up when +someone walks into a room can be interpreted as a sign of disdain or disregard This is why +people roll their eyes Eye rolling is a nonverbal statement of superiority exclaiming That is +beneath me You dont want to adopt an upward gaze with these as your motives Some +people look up when they are thinking Others do it to recall something from memory Use +these as motives Pretend that you are using the ceiling or sky as a canvas for your imagination +to paint pictures of the topic of conversation Looking up appears natural to others when you +use the upper visual field to imagine things in the minds eye Encourage others to do it +with you +Eye Exercise Looking Up While Talking +Simulate a conversation or have an actual phone conversation while looking upward As you +listen and speak make certain your gaze does not drop below your eye line Keep your eyes +wide and your eyebrows relaxed Become aware of your tendency to look down Instead +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +alternate between looking at things around the same level as your eyes and things that are +higher than them +There will be ample opportunities to practice during daily life When you are standing at +the register ordering fast food look up at the menu on the wall calmly with wide eyes even if +the cashier is looking directly at you Feel comfortable doing this while in line before you order +or even after As you pass a stranger on the street feel comfortable looking up While you do +so keep your head up too Gaze at the buildings signs telephone wires and clouds If you +need to remind yourself that looking up is your right Your eyes are yours to use as you wish +As an added benefit looking up naturally widens your eyes by engaging the levator palpebrae +superioris muscles +Eye Activity Take a Walk with Wide Eyes and an Upward Gaze +Take a walk around your block with your eyes all the way open Try to look at the ground as +little as possible Then walk around the block again this time without looking below the +horizon Do it a third time now without looking below your eye line It may help to focus +your gaze on roofs streetlights or treetops Finally try walking around the block with your +nose high in the airthat will compete with and override your tendency to point it at the +floor Notice how all of this feels especially in your face neck and shoulders See whether +you can replicate that feeling in daily life +Improve Your Eye Contact Skills by Looking at Your Eyes in the Mirror +When first started trying to make concerted eye contact with myself in a mirror it was +uncomfortable It became apparent that eye contact with others was awkward for me because +eye contact with myself was awkward After spending time holding my own gaze realized that +instead of looking myself directly in the iris or pupil usually looked around the eyes rather +than directly at them Then found that was doing the same thing when made eye contact +with others Sometimes looked at a persons cheeks nose mouth or ear other times off into +the space to the side of their head felt astounded when realized that virtually never looked +anyone straight in the eye +The most interesting thing about this is what would happen if tried to sustain eye contact +with myself in the mirror could only look into my iris for a mere second or two before my eyes +would flinch or dart away This was caused by reflexive startle and was therefore unconscious +and hard to resist It happened because my brain areas devoted to controlling eye movement +such as the frontal eye fields and the superior colliculi were not acclimatized to continual eye +contact My eyes were retreating out of fear +Everyones eyes autonomously flinch away from eye contact to different extents They do +so more when stress levels are high and the extent to which they do it is another marker of +social rank Some of our worst social experiences when threats forced us to avert our gaze +have traumatized the unconscious motor systems that control the eyes We should all try +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +to break this neurological reflex to glance away from eye contact because it stunts our +social growth +Do you make direct and sustained eye contact with the characters on television If not +then you probably have an aversion to making eye contact as did Make a concerted effort to +always look the characters onscreen straight in the eye Many of us must force ourselves to +start taking simple steps toward building up a tolerance for eye contact which will help you +develop a preference for it +Illustration A Gorilla with wide eyes B A boy squinting and crying C Woman looking up and smiling +The best way to desensitize yourself to eye contact is to spend prolonged periods looking +into your own eyes in a mirror Notice and resist the impulse to glance away You will achieve +results quickly After pairing the exercise below with diaphragmatic breathing for one week +five minutes a day you should be able to make unwavering eye contact with yourself and feel +calm while doing it After practicing it for a few weeks you can do this with anyone Now only +look away when choose to also have a different relationship with myself now Not only do +feel more confident but also feel more trustworthy +Eye Exercise Making Eye Contact with Yourself +Sit in front of a mirror and make eye contact with yourself for five minutes Look straight into +your irises or pupils Do not raise your eyebrows and keep your eyes wide open Start at a +typical conversational distance one to four feet from the mirror itself Later try it from other +distances from one inch to feet Try to maintain a tranquil and confident expression and +breathe long deep breaths guided by a breath metronome Ensure that you maintain +steadfast contact with your irises throughout each smooth inhalation and exhalation +thought that one of my eyes was smaller than the other but this exercise proved to me that +was merely squinting my left eye harder and within a few sessions this asymmetry was +healed After you have practiced this alone several times try maintaining eye contact in this +way with a friend +One of the best times to practice is right after you wake up when the tension in the +muscles surrounding your eyes is most apparent Performing the above eyecontact exercise in +the morning will help you settle your eye posture into a positive healthy mode early in the day +making it easier to keep your eyes wide throughout the day You might also want to try it right +before meeting someone on whom you want to make a good impression Breathing usually +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +becomes shallow during eye contact If you can breathe diaphragmatically during sustained eye +contact with yourself you will be able to do it with other people This is because most of the +subcortical circuits involved dont know the difference between looking yourself in the eye in a +mirror and looking someone else in the eye People will be surprised by how easy it is for you to +sustain wideeyed eye contact and impute saintlike qualities to you +Make Your Assertive Eye Contact Friendly +Socially dominant wolves stare freely and casually at their packmates but those packmates +never stare at the dominant animal The same is true with monkeys Momentary eye contact +with a dominant individual causes them to perform a submission gesture as an apology These +patterns also pertain to apes For example chimps avoid eye contact during confrontations and +physical struggles and subordinate chimps make much less eye contact when they are around +their dominant peers Chimps may charge at an individual from another group if it makes eye +contact Staring between unfamiliar apes is often interpreted as a threat signal Even an +unfamiliar human staring at a primate often elicits an attack response However chimpanzees +and gorillas from the same group frequently share gazes and use their eyes for communication +much like us Familiar chimps that are similar in rank make concerted eye contact under +normal conditions especially when making up after a fight +Of course eye contact behavior among humans is far more variable than among primates +with sizeable cultural differences in the frequency and significance of different ocular +behaviors In many cultures direct and prolonged eye contact is seen as a challenge or a test of +nerves so everyday eye contact tends to be brief In America averting the eyes is interpreted +as a lack of confidence certainty or truthfulness while sustained eye contact is taken to +indicate sincere interest forthrightness and attentiveness In the American context people +who make more eye contact are seen as more competent likable and trustworthy overall In +general the longer eye contact is maintained the greater the intimacy levels Positive feelings +toward another person generally increase as the length and frequency of a mutual gaze +increase This instinct seems to be built into us We are born expecting and craving eye +contact Infants prefer to look at faces that engage them in mutual eye contact and cry less +when exposed to them +As a child made minimal eye contact with my parents teachers and classmates didnt +want to challenge anyone didnt want to make any waves and usually just wanted to be left +alone so avoiding eye contact worked for me Also most of my life felt like an ugly person +and thought that by initiating eye contact was forcing someone to look at an ugly face Most +people have this worry to some degree If you do get over it Also keep in mind that refusing +eye contact can be domineering as when the alpha chimpanzee refuses to make eye contact or +even look at some of their subjects Release any unkind tendency you may have to avoid eye +contact with people you may think are ugly or beneath you +Throughout my adolescence and young adulthood paid little attention to eye contact in +general and because did not attend to it was clumsy with it The next two exercises helped +me tremendously Making more frequent eye contact has opened doors for me allowing me to +meet new people prolong conversations build rapport and prove to others that am not a +pushover On the other hand it also sometimes has the effect of making the person am talking +to feel uncomfortable giving them the lurking suspicion that my eye contact is a way to assert +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +myself That tradeoff seems to be intrinsic There is no way to avoid sometimes appearing +overbearing All we can do is work toward healthy eyecontact habits even if they sometimes +make people uncomfortable +spent years trying to figure out how to make eye contact in a way that is welcoming and +not domineering eventually concluded that eye contact comes across as affable when it +appears as if it takes no thought However it takes lots of experience for eye contact to +become genuine and uncontrived After some trial and error came across the following rules +of thumb +Make as much eye contact with others as they make with you You might want to look +away first but then when you reinstate eye contact feel secure that it is now their turn +to look away Keep in mind that rigidly keeping track of every glance takes away from +the natural flow Take turns be fair but dont sell yourself short +The more expressive you are the longer you can maintain your gaze without upsetting +the other person If you gesture with your hands raise your brow momentarily or build +a slowgrowing smile you can maintain your gaze without coming across as intense If +you can get yourself to feel trust respect or even love for others your eye contact will +become trusting respectful and loving This is perhaps the most powerful and +endearing way to make eye contact +Do not look down when you look away from the other persons eyes When you look at +the floor after making eye contact it can be taken as a sign of defeat and often +interrupts the flow of the conversation Rather than looking down try to look to the side +of the person at the eye line This will make them feel that you are listening have +remained engaged and are ready to reinstate eye contact +Look someone in the eyes and wait until their eyes meet yours to start talking If done in +a friendly manner this can motivate someone to connect with you When in a group +take the time to look each person in the eye while you talk +Many experts in nonverbal communication recommend trying to make eye contact +about of the time during a conversation Be sensitive however to how the other +person is responding to your extended eye contact They may feed off it or actively +avoid it +think it is profitable to discuss eye contact with friends and acquaintances have told +several friends have been trying to make more eye contact recently want you to be +comfortable with this How do you feel about the dynamics of our eye contact have +even gone as far as saying things like Lets work together on using more eye contact so +that we can get better at it +The following exercise combines several tactics into one larger practice to help you +develop reflexes around a healthy assertive social gaze that communicates to others your bold +eye contact is a positive form of social engagement +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +Eye Exercise WellFunctioning Eye Contact Behavior +Sit a foot or two in front of a mirror staring into your pupils Perform the following while +engaging in paced breathing +Widen and then relax your eyes every few seconds +Deftly move your gaze between your two eyes without breaking eye contact Try +to alternate from one pupil directly to the other Try doing it rapidly dozens of +times +When you blink during contact immediately reinstate eye contact without ever +looking away Try using the slow blink you worked on earlier in this chapter +Break eye contact by raising your gaze above your eye line then reestablish eye +contact +Raise your eyebrows in a friendly way then let them lower completely Do not +compensate for lowering your brown by squinting +In apes and monkeys dominant individuals stare down subordinate ones The state of +affairs is similar for humans The visual dominance ratio VDR is a concept used in psychology +to quantify eye contact behavior between people in a conversation A persons VDR is +calculated by taking the percentage of time that one spends looking into another persons eyes +while speaking and dividing that number by the percentage of time that person spends looking +into anothers eyes while listening +VDR eye contact while speaking eye contact while listening +This means that if you make about the same amount of eye contact while speaking that +you do while listening your VDR is roughly If you make more eye contact while speaking +your VDR rises above which is dominant If you make most of your eye contact while listening +and look away when you speak it drops below Usually a high VDR indicates that you think +what you have to say is important +Studies have shown that when people speak to their peers and colleagues they have an +average VDR of around When they speak to experts or highstatus individuals their VDR +drops and when they speak to people lower in status their VDR rises For example when +individuals in the military speak to someone of higher rank their VDR goes down when they +speak to someone of lower rank it goes up The same has been shown to occur in the +corporate hierarchy as well as in fraternities and sororities +The upstanding genteel strategy is to aim for a VDR of around with everyone +regardless of their status However was unable to achieve a VDR higher than because +found it extremely difficult to maintain eye contact as formulated my sentences Making eye +contact would leave me tonguetied Years of subordination made it so that just didnt have +the processing capability to do both things at once The exercise below cured this Use the +training exercise below to raise your VDR quotient +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Eye Exercise Using the Telephone in Front of a Mirror +When you speak to someone on the phone sit or stand in front of a mirror and make +constant eye contact with yourself As you listen and speak make eye contact with your +reflection in the mirror keeping your eyes wide and your eyebrows relaxed Notice your +tendency to look away while you are formulating your sentences Perfect your ability to +produce and deliver your speech while maintaining unbroken eye contact with yourself +Try to use eye contact to show the other person that you are curious about their facial +responses to the topic of conversation This will keep them engaged It has been my experience +that most people find eye contact that comes across as interested in them to be validating and +endearing Finally the last major benefit of increased positive eye contact is that you learn so +much more when you look at people than when you look away It makes you better at +processing emotions and will increase your empathy quotient +It was easy to help my cat become more comfortable with eye contact First would hold +him gently so that he was facing me in a way that allowed him to rest and be still would +position my face close to his and make eye contact with him while petting him for reassurance +While breathing calmly would look into both his eyes for just under a minute would feed +him afterward This dramatically increased the frequency at which he sought eye contact He +even began to seek it out when he wasnt hungry Like most cats his normal pattern had been +to squint look down or break eye contact when looking at me To help counteract that +fostered his ability to make sustained contact by not staring him down instead looking away +about half the time To help him stop squinting also gently massaged the orbits of his eyes +The results were noticeable quite quickly Within a few weeks he stopped squinting and +his eyes were wider all the time He now actively seeks wideeyed eye contact from everyone +That in turn seems to have increased his social intelligence This is probably because he is now +exposed to more information from peoples faces as he interacts with them watched my cat +become more personable and noticed a real increase in the strength of our bond Studies back +this up reporting that extended eye contact between a dog and its owner increases the +secretion of oxytocin a neuromodulator involved in social connection in both animals +Illustration Friends talking with eye contact B Eye iris and pupil C A couple making intimate eye contact +From kindergarten through college could not hold eye contact with my female +classmates Unbeknown to me this was likely the main reason why had so much trouble +talking to girls Most of the boys in my elementary classes had the same problem at least to +some extent There was one boy though who spent every recess with the girls They all adored +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +him and never understood why also never understood why he would idiosyncratically roll +his eyes up into his head every few minutes get it now He would roll his eyes to engage the +muscles that widen the eyes The wide eyes are part of what allowed him to keep sustained eye +contact with the girls His eyes were as wide as or wider than theirs Because he looked neither +offensive nor defensive the girls welcomed his gaze There are reciprocal relationships +between having wide eyes looking up and making eye contact If you can widen your eyes and +make looking up comfortable using the exercises above you will find that others will seek out +eye contact from you +Use Sensory Deprivation to Unmask Neurotic Activity +Most of us are afraid that fixing our gaze on anything will make us look too calm We keep our +eyes busy to make others feel comfortable Take a minute now and observe yourself looking +around You should be able to sense pressure to keep glancing neurotically This comes froma +form of anxiety in the eye motor centers that act below the level of conscious awareness The +restlessness makes it difficult for you to maintain eye contact and to fixate on anything if other +people are watching you The best way to retrain this nervous habit is to become more +comfortable anchoring your gaze without worrying about how you may appear to others while +doing it +Eye Exercise Sustained Gaze +Spend two minutes staring at a single point Notice any impulses to glance away and gently +override them You might try to keep your eyes fixated on a single feature of the wall or +ceiling or you might try to keep your gaze limited to a circumscribed region of space like a +light fixture If youre having trouble cut out a picture of a face from a magazine and tape it +to your wall or ceiling to gaze at contentedly Allow yourself to feel free to space out like a +child absorbed in a daydream Dont be concerned about looking dazed or stupefied and +dont worry if this level of ocular relaxation causes your eyes to cross for a few moments +Sensory deprivation can help uncover baseline neurotic tendencies Lets start with sight +Tracking your ocular behavior in complete darkness will make it clear how much of your eye +movement is highstrung and unnecessary The best way to do this is to wait until nighttime +turn off all the lights in your home and lie down on the floor of a closet or bathroom Do +whatever you can to make this area completely dark You may need to put up curtains or drape +some towels over the cracks Being in pitch blackness makes it easier to feel absolutely certain +that no one can see your face expressions or eye movements Think back to the way your +submissive signaling diminished when you took that walk around the block while pretending to +be invisible Complete darkness allows you an even greater degree of invisibility and anonymity +No one and nothing can be offended by how relaxed you appear because you truly are invisible +Take the opportunity to relax fully and open your eyes very wide without compunction +In absolute darkness feel like a slimy gelatinous sea slug that has been removed from all +danger can feel the squinting contraction release in the same way that the sea slug we +discussed in Chapter releases its gill The complete vacancy of visual stimulus will desensitize +you and provide your eyes with the experience they need to grow wide This phenomenon is +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +also a bit like eyestalk extension in snails When you touch a snail its eyestalks retract The eyes +invert within the eyestalks and travel down toward the head This action blinds the snail but is +an essential defensive reflex meant to protect the eyes After several seconds when the snail +starts to feel safe again the eyes slowly evert the eyestalks reach full length and the eyes pop +out at the top Use the exercises above to develop fearless wide eyes and fully extend your +eayestalks +In absolute darkness you will also be able to see phosphenes which are colored shapes +that are produced by your visual system These may take the form of dots stars lines static +circles or various other shapes This visual activity will be accentuated if you lightly rub your +eyes The phosphenes represent a type of background noise that is usually not noticeable yet +always ongoing When the lights are on phosphene activity is put to work helping you make +perceptual distinctions When the lights are off that activity hits a stumbling block amounting +to a lowlevel form of hallucination +believe these phosphenes can play a role in driving anxious thought Notice when they +flash abruptly and calm your reaction to this You may notice that they flare when you look +straight keeping you from maintaining a fixed gaze You may also notice that they burst in the +corner of your eye When they flash like this in the periphery of your vision believe they may +be reminding you to scan for potential threats that are to the side of you or behind you When +first started doing this the phosphene activity appeared sinister and frightening even saw +flashes of scenes from horror movies This all contributed strongly to the feeling of being unsafe +in the dark +This may have also been the case for my cat Niko He cried like a kitten in the dark closet +the first few times but now he will join me of his own volition Notice your reactions and try to +bring peace to your conscious and unconscious responses to the phosphene activity by pairing +the experience with diaphragmatic breathing After doing Exercise twice for five minutes +never again saw any frightful apparitions strongly recommend that you use this technique to +free the background activity of your visual system from unnecessary negativity +Eye Exercise Vision in Complete Darkness +Lie down on the floor in a pitchblack room Keep your eyes as wide as possible and observe +your eye movements Practice looking in different directions and sustaining your gaze at +different points with the eyes wide and eyebrows relaxed You will notice your eyes dart +around in the dark They will display an intense agitated tendency to move quickly on their +own without any conscious deliberation Simply observing this and practicing sustained +gazing in utter blackness will allow you to reduce the intensity Nonjudgmentally monitor the +visual activity colored phosphenes the eye movement activity and the feelings that come +from being in utter darkness Use this method to dismantle your fear of the dark +recommend buying noisereducing earmuffs to use in your dark closet With the earmuffs +on you will be able to hear the background activity of your auditory system just as darkness +reveals the background activity of your visual system For most of us background auditory +function takes the form of a ringing or buzzing in the ears which is known as tinnitus When +first heard the hissing sound amplified by the earmuffs it was very upsetting abhorred it +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +Many people feel this way which is unfortunate because some degree of tinnitus is always +there whether we are conscious of it or not found that the practice of breathing +diaphragmatically and listening to my tinnitus gradually reduced its volume and made it far less +emotionally disquieting Paced diaphragmatic breathing will quickly help you come to peace +with being alone in complete darkness with nothing but the background noise of your own +visual and auditory systems This will make it so that their default settings do not haunt you +during everyday life +Conclusion +The final exercise puts several of the routines from this chapter together into a single routine +that you can perform while watching television +Eye Exercise Watching TV Upside Down +Lie on the floor on your back with your head near the TV and your feet away from it Watch +a movie or television program upside down so that you are looking straight up at the screen +Your eyebrows should be visible but out of focus just below the bottom of the TVs border +Do not allow your brow to raise Keep your eyes wide and your face relaxed Try to maintain +constant eye contact with the characters on the television Place your breath metronome +next to the TV so that it can guide you in paced diaphragmatic breathing Remain this way for +the duration of a TV show or movie +Afterward look in a mirror You should notice that your eyes look fuller happier and calmer +Watching inverted video is also a challenge for your brains visual systems and may build +cognitive and perceptual skills +Some of these exercises may seem strange forced and almost comical Remember +though that when you perform them you are coactivating behavioral subroutines not +ordinarily coactivated together because of social constraints By pairing these with +diaphragmatic breathing you reeducate your nervous system to treat them as safe making +that combination of subroutines possible The more you do it the more probable it is to arise +spontaneously in the future and eventually become a fixed part of your personality You will +rarely have the opportunity to make prolonged eye contact looking up with wide eyes +breathing diaphragmatically in the course of everyday life To build optimal behaviors into our +repertoire we must create artificially ideal worlds in which to practice +The next chapter widens our focus Behaviors like squinting looking down and glancing +away all have muscular components to them Chapter discusses repetitive muscular strain in +detail and considers the panoply of negative effects on us This will set the context for the rest +of the book which will guide you to overcome it +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Squinting eyebrow raising looking down and gaze aversion are forms of trauma that +fracture our composure but can easily be rehabilitated +e Widening your eyes relaxing your brow looking up and practicing a fixed gaze have +many benefits and will literally change your perspective on life +e Squinting is defensive and intended to protect the eyeballs On a fundamental level it is +a sign of defensiveness or submission Deliberately widening the eyes can end excessive +squinting and is especially easy to do when breathing long deep breaths +e Raised eyebrows are analogous to the action of moving the ears backward in other +mammals This action is performed by an animal being chased so that it can hear its +attacker behind it It is submissive and so should not be strained for long periods +e Eyebrows lowered is analogous to ears forward which is the posture for an animal +chasing another This should not be strained either However becoming comfortable +lowering your eyebrows into a full frown will increase your nonverbal dominance The +same goes for glaring and the sideeye +e Looking down is submissive and doing it habitually weakens the muscles that allow us to +look up Looking upward above the horizon more often strengthens your ocular muscles +and conditions your nervous system to stop casting your gaze toward the floor +e Social trauma has caused us to become afraid of fixing our gaze on anything especially +anothers eyes +e Making prolonged eye contact with yourself in a mirror or simply gazing calmly at points +in space will train your unconscious visual control systems to be comfortable +maintaining a fixed gaze +e After making eye contact look at or near the eye line rather than below it +e Looking at characters on the TV straight in their eyes will strengthen your ability to look +real people in the eyes +e Speaking to someone on the telephone while making sustained wideeyed eye contact +with yourself in a mirror will strengthen your facetoface rapport with others +e Spending time in complete darkness while engaging in paced breathing will help you +make your visual systems default activity less chaotic and frightening Using sound +reducing earmuffs can do the same for your default auditory activity +e Watching TV upside down can reinforce looking up and eyewidening +Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes +Chapter Endnotes +Pease B Pease A The definitive book of body language Bantam Books +Lutz T Crying The natural and cultural history of tears Norton +Hasson O Emotional tears as biological signals Evolutionary Psychology +Even C Schrder C M Friedman S Rouillon F Efficacy of light therapy in +nonseasonal depression A systematic review Journal of Affective Disorders +Keating C F Human dominance signals The primate in us In S L Ellyson J F +Dovidio Eds Power dominance and nonverbal behavior pp SpringerVerlag +Keating C F Keating E G Visual scan patterns of rhesus monkeys viewing +faces Perception +Keating Human dominance signals +ChevalierSkolnikoff S Facial expression of emotion in nonhuman primates +In P Ekman Ed Darwin and facial expression A century of research in review pp +Malor Books +Trichas S Schyns B The face of leadership Perceiving leaders from facial +expression The Leadership Quarterly +Carney D R Hall J A A LeBeau L S Beliefs about the nonverbal expression of +social power Journal of Nonverbal Behavior +Tubbs S Human communication Principles and contexts th ed McGrawHill +Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great +game of life Academic Press +Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science +Gomez J C Ostensive behavior in great apes The role of eye contact In A E +Russon K A Bard S T Parker Eds Reaching into thought The minds of the great apes +pp Cambridge University Press +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Cruz W Differences in nonverbal communication styles between cultures +The LatinoAnglo perspective Leadership and Management in Engineering +Sadri H A Flammia M Intercultural communication A new approach to +international relations and global challenges Continuum International Publishing Group +Knapp M L Hall J Nonverbal communication in human interaction th ed +Cengage Learning +Knapp Hall Nonverbal communication in human interaction +Hogan K Stubbs R Cant get through barriers to communication +Pelican Publishing Company +Farroni T Csibra G Simion F Johnson MH Eye contact detection in humans +from birth Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences +Lohaus A Keller H Voelker S Relationships between eye contact maternal +sensitivity and infant crying International Journal of Behavioral Development +Van Edwards V Captivate The science of succeeding with people +Penguin Random House +Chance M R A Attention structures as the basis of primate rank orders +Man +Dovidio J F Ellyson S L Keating C F Heltman K Brown C E The +relationship of social power to visual displays of dominance between men and women +Journal of Personality and Social Psychology +Dovido at al The relationship of social power to visual displays of dominance +Nagasawa M Mitsui S En S Ohtani N Ohta M Sakuma Y Onaka T Mogi K +Kikusui T Oxytocingaze positive loop and the coevolution of humandog bonds +Science +Tehovnik E J Slocum W M Carvey C E Schiller P H Phosphene induction +and the generation of saccadic eye movements by striate cortex Journal of Neurophysiology +Baguley D McFerran D Hall D Tinnitus The Lancet +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension +and Dormancy +You translate everything whether physical or mental or spiritual into muscular tension +F M Alexander +Suppose youre interacting with an abusive boss Without realizing it you hold some part of your body still in order +to manage your behavior during the confrontation Tension in your jaw throat or shoulders keeps you from lashing +out and losing your job Tension in your hips or feet keeps you from storming out of the room Similar tensions may +arise when you deal with a relatives expectations of you or during a disagreement with a friend +Mary Bond b +This chapter discusses a form of trauma that transforms muscles on a cellular scale repetitive +strain The first half of the chapter introduces the concepts of bracing and persistent muscular +tension and explains how to recognize them in your own body The second half dives into the +social and emotional aspects of muscle tension laying out the relationships between longterm +strain pain breathing and submissiveness Exercises are offered throughout to aid you in +recovering from your bodily tension +Recognizing Excessive Muscular Tone +It can be difficult to recognize the physical sensations of muscular strain We become so +accustomed to the pain and discomfort that they become effectively imperceptible the same +way we stop noticing unpleasant smells It often takes a significant shift for us to notice how +our bodies really feel This happened to me after strained my shoulder skateboarding After +the accident a doctor prescribed me a dozen pills of meloxicam a nonsteroidal anti +inflammatory drug NSAID with analgesic effects After my first dose spent a few hours trying +to analyze the effects of the drug My muscles felt looser and this quickly put me to sleep +woke up in the middle of the night to feel my hamstrings burning intensely but they had +not been stretched or exercised recently in any unusual way It took me a few minutes to +realize that this pain was their normal baseline condition The strain had simply been unmasked +by the NSAID drug had become utterly accustomed to the fact that this tension went to bed +with me every night quickly realized that the problem was widespread My hamstrings were +chronically strained from overzealous exercise but so were my hips lower back shoulders and +neck That night as focused on gradually relaxing these body parts began to realize just how +much had been clenching them in a bizarre contorted way +This experience made me think of a lesson that my mother taught me In my twenties +developed a condition called plantar fasciitis that causes pain in the soles of the feet She +shared the method that she used to cure her plantar fasciitis saying something along these +lines Jared its a medical disorder but it comes from tension You must be curling your feet +into fists at night Right now you are unconscious of this tendency but it is possible to create +awareness Each evening before you go to bed focus on the sensations in your feet and tell +yourself that you plan to let the tension release and remain released as you sleep Dont allow +your feet to remain clenched all night had painful plantar fasciitis for a full year yet after two +nights of following her instructions meditating closely on the sensations of tension the pain in +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +my feet was gone Right there lying in bed saw the connection and realized that this same +lesson applied not only to my heels but to my hamstrings my heartache my headache +and my whole body +Tone Hypertonia and Hypotonia +Muscle tone also referred to as residual muscle tension or tonus is a continuous and passive +partial contraction found in all skeletal muscles It is often conceptualized as the muscles +resistance to passive stretching during a resting state Muscles receive continuous innervation +from the nervous system ensuring that even in rest they remain in a semiactive default state +Thus there is no complete rest in living muscle tissue +Both extensor and flexor muscles are constantly kept activated which helps us maintain +muscle readiness For instance your bicep a flexor and triceps an extensor are both always +in a state of partial contraction They complement and support each other no matter how +much you try to relax them Muscles on opposite sides of a joint contract in unison to stabilize +the joint This kind of antagonism occurs all over the body It is beneficial and necessary +Muscle tone is normal but it can become too intense under certain conditions and begin to +cause harm Excessive tone is referred to as persistent muscle tension muscle spasticity or +hypertonia Hypertonic muscles can be found in crucial places throughout our bodies and are +sources of chronic pain stiffness and premature frailty for every adult on the planet +The cause of excessive muscular tone and the accompanying pain we experience is +multifactorial Hypertonia can be exacerbated by bad habits wear and tear genetic risk factors +and injuries such as car accidents and falls However most of the preventable muscular pain +that we suffer is derived from a lowenergy injury to the tissues known as repetitive strain A +repetitive strain injury is caused by repetitious tasks or by sustained awkward positions Almost +any job profession or chore you can imagine involves monotonous contractions through which +muscles are subject to continuous or nearcontinuous strain While repetitive strain may occur +intermittently its effects build up over years resulting in chronic conditions +Longstanding instances of muscular tension develop pathways in the nervous system that +reinforce and perpetuate them Simultaneously an array of cellular changes takes place within +muscle cells themselves forcing them to contract permanently forfeiting strength and +flexibility By becoming accustomed to such burdens we force ourselves to carry them +unknowingly This is how we come to feel the weight of the world on our shoulders We are all +hauling an invisible intangible load forcing dozens of muscles throughout our body to push and +pull against absolutely nothing +Refrain from Muscular Bracing +Excessive tension in any posture is called muscular bracing and it is pervasive We brace +muscles all over our bodies every day Squinting and the raising and lowering of the brow +discussed in Chapter are also forms of bracing Mostly we brace as a reflexive response to +things that make us worried or uncomfortable Due to the false sense of security it can afford +some researchers have termed it muscular armoring Bracing is intended to prepare us to +quickly initiate offensive or defensive movements as when we protect the neck by keeping the +shoulders raised Small amounts of temporary bracing are healthy and can be helpful during +rough and tumble play contact sports falls or collisions Unnecessary bracing however +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +keeps the body on guard and rigid Thus when you need to move you are forced to +overcome your own resistance forfeiting grace and coordination +Keeping our muscles tense makes us feel in control but is a dysfunctional coping tactic +People generalize bracing from physical challenges to intellectual and social ones This is why +some experts refer to instances of bracing as neurotic holding patterns For instance we +tense during social encounters especially confrontational ones People tense their bodies +during standardized tests social gatherings and public speaking This hinders their +performance by interfering with productive efforts and by causing discomfort and autonomic +stress As we will discuss in Chapter the sensation of fear in your gut and the sensation of +having your heart in your throat are also manifestations of chronic bracing +Imagine that you are standing alone in a strange dark parking lot with nothing nearby to +grab ahold of You hear someone yell Brace yourself What pose do you strike Whatever +pose you imagined is likely one that you commonly adopt during stress and startle The muscles +responsible for this pose are the ones you brace most often and so they are likely currently in +the process of becoming locked up Explore this a little further using the first unbracing +activity below +Relaxation Activity Making a Claw +Tense all the muscles in your hand making it into a stiff claw Curl your fingers so that all +fifteen knuckles are partially bent Keeping your hand in that formation see whether you can +tense it even further Keep it tight as you open and close it five times +Now use your imagination Try to feel what would happen to your hand if you were forced to +hold it like this for a week straight It would become immobile inflamed and excruciating +Consider how often you tense your hand in daily life Has it already taken a toll Going +forward work on undoing that tension Try to notice the claw whenever it materializes and +allow it to revert to a soft lithe hand +You also want your hands to be strong so contracting their muscles firmly is necessary The +important thing is that you allow them to relax deeply after you stop using them Make a +very firm claw and then let it relax five times in a row How you respond to the discomfort +involved in the effort makes all the difference Dont allow the discomfort from the +contraction to influence you to keep bracing Rather plunge into the deeper level of +relaxation that is available after you have brought the muscles to fatigue +There are cyclical relationships between stress bracing and arthritis Some specialists +refer to forms of bracing as prearthritic postures Joints can only be braced for so many years +before they become inflamed and degenerative My mother has osteoarthritis in her hands +Some of her knuckles are larger and more deformed than others She firmly believes that the +most affected knuckles are those that she braced more during stress over decades An extreme +example is the raisedarm babas of India These are men who for spiritual reasons have +decided to always raise one arm in the air Over the years their shoulders become stiff as a +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +board and completely useless As you look over the table below think about which bracing +patterns you use +Internal Facial Postural +Tightening the Jaw Squinting the Eyes Raising the Shoulders +Constricting the Throat Raising the Eyebrows Bracing the Lower Back +Sucking the Tongue Straining the Smile Hunching the Neck +Constricting the Nasopharynx Straining the Sneer Neglecting the Glutes and Abs +Straining the Vocal Folds Pursing the Lips Bracing the Shoulder Blades +Shallow Breathing Tightening the Cheeks Clenching the Hands and Feet +Abdominal Tensing Drawing Down the Corners of Tilting the Pelvis to One Side +the Mouth +Table Common Forms of Bracing that Compromise Muscle and Cause Pain +Bracing belongs to a more general category known as dysponesis or the misdirected use of +energy in the musculoskeletal system of which unnecessary tensing of the muscles is just one +example This wasting of energy is destructive For example dentists and orthodontists make +particular note of jaw clenching teeth grinding and tongue tension because those movements +push the teeth out of their optimal alignment In Chapter we will discuss how bracing the +back pushes the spine out of alignment Muscular bracing is a factor in almost all joint disorders +and is responsible for carpal tunnel temporomandibular joint disorder tennis elbow and +countless others believe that most chronic injuries despite the fancy and distracting terms +used by physicians start with tension caused by bracing +One way a mammal remembers that it just glimpsed a predator is by crouching down and +becoming very tense We often use muscular tension to keep something in mind When need +to remember something or when there is an urgent need to do something that cannot be done +right away become tenser The specific part of my body necessary to carry out the task is +often where the tension manifests For instance will try to remind myself to write down a +thought by tensing my fingers as if were gripping a pencil Recognize when this happens to you +and try not to use tension as a mnemonic aid +We tend to be negligent of excessive increases in muscle tension even when we are +performing simple tasks We tighten muscles that are not involved in what we are doing and +then keep those muscles tight even after we finish If the action is built into your job or daily +routine you can start by improving the ergonomics of your workspace or taking more regular +breaks You can also teach yourself to selectively calm muscles that you are not actively using +for the task at hand The key is to constantly and creatively alter your body posture so that +unused muscles are engaged and overused muscles are given a break +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +Relaxation Activity Monitor Your Bracing During Teeth Brushing +The next time you brush your teeth notice the movements in your hand arm shoulder +neck face and torso Are you tensing muscles or expending energy that you dont need to +For instance you might be gripping the toothbrush too tightly flexing heavily at the elbow or +shoulder locking your jaw or craning your neck to one side Do you alter your posture and +vary the repetitive motions to give your muscles breaks Use this activity as an example that +you can extend to all your daily chores and rituals Generalize this experience to as many +other activities as possible including writing with a pen typing with a keyboard or holding a +phone tablet book remote controller or steering wheel +Microbreaks Allow Muscles the Short Rests They Need +Not all muscle tension is bad After all there is no way to exercise without tensing your +muscles But bracing is very different from healthy exercise because it does not include tiny rest +periods called microbreaks Sometimes all our muscles need is a few seconds or even just a +few fractions of a second without being held taut When the electrical activity of muscle is +tracked with electrodes these moments of downtime show up as electromyographic gaps +brief intervals during which the muscles slacken and relax They are essential +For example every step you take involves significant exertion as you push off against the +ground However as one leg takes over the other is given a break during the time it takes to swing +it forward again That respite allows the muscles to regenerate and prepare for the next step If +you didnt have this microbreak after every step walking more than a few hundred meters would +be difficult In much the same way all the muscles in your body require microbreaks +Without momentarily reverting to a relaxed baseline tone muscles cannot replenish and +unwanted processes ensue You have probably noticed the difference between fatigue caused +by sustained bracing hyperfatigue and fatigue caused by exercise that contains microbreaks +The former aches and is unpleasant while the latter is both soothing and exhilarating Indeed +the most important factor in building healthy muscle is to allow it to relax The more relaxed +your muscles are at rest the more quickly they recover from exercise This is why relaxed +muscle responds dramatically to training whereas tense muscle responds sluggishly Whenever +you are not using a muscle allow it to go limp It almost seems slothful but its not its the way +you should live your life +Intermittent breaks and rests can help you disrupt long periods of unnecessary rigidity +Naps can work wonders in this regard During sleep and especially during REM sleep changes +occur in brain signaling that cause vastly reduced muscle tone known as atonia This is one +reason why short to minute naps can be so invigorating Short naps can also restore +alertness mental performance and learning ability As you nap you are even giving your heart +a brief rest which may be why naps have been associated with reduced coronary mortality +Just remember that naps of minutes or more often lead to sleep inertia impaired alertness +and tiredness When you feel depleted after the gym after an upsetting episode or whenever +you start to feel stiff and sore set your phones timer for minutes and allow yourself a +recuperative power nap Even if you dont fall asleep just giving yourself a few minutes to lay +down during the day provides a reprieve that can be highly beneficial in the long term +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Why dont we allow ourselves the microbreaks that our bodies call for Often it is due to +social pressures Propriety and intimidation related to the status hierarchy cause us to brace +then feel guilty about relaxing Chronic submissive signaling disallows you from claiming the +microbreaks that your muscles need When at a dinner date or in a board room we dont give +our neurotic holding patterns a single second of downtime Wellcomposed people give various +muscles involved in social displays microbreaks In fact we can conceptualize composure as skill +in microbreaking Of course even our breathing muscles require microbreaks +Unbrace Your Exhalation with the Passive Exhale +Diaphragmatic bracing is the central feature of distressed breathing and a core symptom of +trauma Remember Activity in which you held your hand like a claw and kept it tight as you +opened and closed it This is exactly what you are doing with your diaphragm when stressed +This kind of bracing could be an excellent exercise for the diaphragm if it only lasted for +seconds at a time but we tend to do it for hours or days at a time Continuously overtensing +the diaphragm and other respiratory muscles reduces their strength and range of motion +resulting in rapid shallow breathing +The inbreath requires muscular contraction but the outbreath does not It is not necessary +to do any muscular work during exhalation The positive pressure of air in your lungs is enough +to create the force This effortless return of the diaphragm to its resting position is called elastic +recoil The air naturally wants to be pressed out of your lungs as it would from a deflating +balloon Unfortunately most of us keep our breathing muscles tense during exhalation and this +ensnares us in a state of fight or flight Stopping this requires awareness and practice To +perform a passive exhalation all you need to do is let your breathing go limp while you are +exhaling After a minute or two of practicing this you should actually be able to feel the +diaphragm simmer down +Relaxation Exercise Unbracing the Diaphragm While Exhaling +Perform paced breathing for five minutes Take full inhalations and when you start each +exhalation let go of the diaphragm completely Every exhalation should be a completely +passive form of freefall throughout which all the breathing musculature is relaxed Imagine +the leisurely descent of a parachute You are not doing any work at all and it should proceed +at its own pace The air should be oozing out of your nostrils on its own Once you practice +this for five minutes you should be able to tell that you were holding your diaphragm like a +tense claw during your exhalation before Allowing the diaphragm to go limp during the +exhale is extremely important for its health because just like all muscles it needs periods of +inactivity to regenerate Because you never stop breathing its only chance for such a +microbreak is during the exhalation +Imagine that for some reason you are responsible for driving a car up and down a low +grade hill over and over again For a while you keep the engine on during the descent but +since the descent lasts for a few minutes you realize that you can turn the engine off put the +car into neutral and just let it coast without having to touch the brake the accelerator or the +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +wheel This is what a passive exhalation should feel like After you finish your inhale just take +the keys out of the ignition +Your inhalation is also braced it is just much harder to notice An inhalation requires the +contraction of the diaphragm down into the gut to create the vacuum that draws air into the +lungs But this contraction is often braced beyond what is necessary like the opening of a +tightly clenched hand This bracing impedes belly breathing and pulls the air into your upper +chest If you can interrupt it during an inhalation you will feel your belly coming uncoupled +from the bottom of your rib cage The passive exhale will help you with this uncoupling As you +learn to sense your diaphragmatic tension during the exhale you can teach yourself how to +lessen the unnecessary tension occurring during the inhale Once you have done this your +breathing will become much more efficient and less labored +It is worth mentioning that aside from bracing the inhale during the exhale many of us also +brace the exhale during the inhale This is when we keep the thoracic muscles responsible for +exhalation clenched while breathing in This is also completely unnecessary Spend some time +trying to notice these effects in your own breathing +After performing the passive exhalation for a few days a sense of irritation in your chest +will dissipate When this discomfort and inflammation is totally gone you will feel a profound +sense of relief The passive exhalation is so important that consider it the fifth tenet of optimal +breathing Expect it to increase the benefits you get from paced breathing The passive exhale is +such a fundamental routine that it is actually a reflexive response that all mammals use after a +stressor has come and gone Can you guess what it is +Once a stressful episode has resolved all species of mammal exhibit deep spontaneous +breaths They inhale very deeply so that they can then exhale passively to reset and restore +equilibrium in their autonomic nervous system We know this as sighing Even mice sigh and +believe that like us they do it to provide the diaphragm with a microbreak However if you +provide your diaphragm with a microbreak during every exhalation you wont feel the need to +sigh anymore The trick is to learn to exhale limply even after a shallow inhalation Sighing is +very frequent in people diagnosed with panic disorders used to sigh constantly but after +diaphragmatic retraining rarely catch myself doing it anymore Master the passive exhalation +because it is highly detraumatizing +Persistent Muscle Tension Creates Trigger Points +Excessive muscle tension and the absence of microbreaks eventually produce knots that can +be felt under your skin They occur all over the body They are often palpable raised nodules +tender to the touch producing a dull aching pain when pressed firmly In the medical +literature these knots are referred to as trigger points trigger sites or spasms and they cause +reductions in muscle mass flexibility strength and endurance They are hyperirritated spots +in taut bands of skeletal muscle fibers created by chronic muscle overload They usually involve +a local contraction in a small number of muscle fibers within a larger muscle bundle +Many scientists refer to these knots as myofascial trigger points The myo is derived +from the Greek word for muscle while fascial refers to the tough outer lining that keeps +muscles in place fascia is a type of connective tissue that forms a continuous scaffold around +all the muscles and tendons in the body Myofascial trigger points are small patches of muscle +and fascia that pull together in an isolated spasm They are different from wholemuscle +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +spasms like a charley horse or cramp which are more transient have a sudden onset and +involve hard contraction of the entire muscle Although they can contribute to cramping trigger +points are different in that they are longlasting have a gradual onset and involve partial +contractions in small portions of the muscle +In addition to their immediate detrimental effects on muscle function trigger points often +cluster together and pull on tendons and ligaments causing joint problems and deep pain +The tension they cause at joints can result in clicking popping and grating sounds Over time +they can contribute to bone spurs pinched nerves and arthritis Trigger points can be seen in +greatly magnified pictures of muscle tissue like the one below They look like bunchedup +distortions in a weblike matrix +connective tissue +Figure Knot of partially contracted sarcomeres in the muscle fiber from the leg of a dog at x magnification +Compare with the normal sarcomeres above and below it This knot looks like an active contraction but has no +electrical EMG activity and is thus stuck in partial contraction Reprinted with permission from Simons and +Stolov +Dr Janet G Travell MD is generally recognized as the leading pioneer in +trigger point diagnosis and treatment It has been said that she singlehandedly created this +branch of medicine Travell who was the White House physician during the Kennedy and +Johnson administrations emphasized that trigger points are demoralizing and devastating to +quality of life She called them the scourge of mankind Advancedstage trigger points are the +worst They usually present in clusters are the most painful and involve highly warped muscle +fibers with large numbers of molecular aberrations In reality most people are practically +covered in trigger points from old injuries bad posture poor workout techniques and bracing +Muscle Tension Develops at the Molecular Level +To better understand trigger points we need a little more background on muscles themselves +Muscles are composed of fibers which are themselves made of smaller fibers The thinnest of +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +those hold sarcomeres in which contraction takes place A sarcomere is a microscopic structure +built from two kinds of filamentlike molecules actin and myosin Actin and myosin form +interdigitating strands that can be activated When active they move past each other quickly +creating contractile force +Fascicle Fiber Myofibril all +I +Ui +ml a a +illustration A Muscle made of fibers containing sarcomeres B Microscopic view of contracted sarcomeres in +a muscle myofibril An actual trigger point may contain dozens of these tiny knots +Millions of sarcomeres must contract to perform even the smallest movement After they +contract the sarcomeres relax when their actin and myosin strands are uncoupled from each +other and pull apart In healthy muscle actin and myosin wait patiently in a relaxed decoupled +state until an impulse from the nervous system tells them to pull past each other again In +unhealthy muscle they are stuck Many specialists believe that trigger points start to form +when overuse causes actin and myosin to become fixed in an interlocked position This +interlocking puts the muscle into a static state of contracture in which the strands no longer +separate and relax +Relaxation Actin +ele ACTIN +Contraction +Illustration A Relaxed sarcomere on top and a contracted sarcomere on the bottom with actin and myosin +visible B Myosin curls like a finger pulling on actin and allowing them to slide past each other to create muscular +movement C Human neck and shoulders covered with clusters of trigger points +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Trigger points originate from a few different sources sustained lowlevel contraction +sudden muscle overload eccentric contraction when a muscle stretches and contracts +simultaneously and gross trauma or injury to the muscle Regardless of the cause trigger +points slow blood flow to the muscle and cause oxygen deprivation at the affected site +The reduced blood flow then causes sarcomeres to contract further constricting the +surrounding capillaries Capillaries normally supply the muscle with blood so when they +constrict it leads to reduced circulation or ischemia that impairs many cellular processes +Without blood flow chemical waste products from muscular activity start to accumulate +Eventually the waste stimulates pain receptors in nearby nerve endings sending pain signals to +the brain Active trigger points demonstrate an unusual biochemical mix not seen in healthy +tissue It is an acidic milieu containing increased levels of proinflammatory contractile and +paincausing substances And remember we draw our very breaths with muscles that are +affected by these symptoms +Muscle Shortening and Scar Tissue +A muscle can change its resting length to adapt to the length at which it is habitually used or +positioned Muscles usually become shorter due to prolonged contracture This is known as +adaptive muscle shortening and places the muscle in a state of partial contraction It is another +pervasive clinical finding that affects every person who has ever lived +People confined to long periods of sitting exhibit debilitating shortening of the lower back +and hip muscles especially the hip flexors Similarly wearing highheeled shoes causes +prolonged plantar flexion of the foot which results in adaptive shortening of the soleus +muscles Constant squinting shortens the muscle fibers of the orbicularis oculi narrowing the +eyes Straining the sneer causes the muscles that lift the top lip to shrink making the face +appear hideous When the muscles in your knees and ankles shorten they leave you vulnerable +to sprains and tears Holding a hunched neck posture leads to shortening of the +sternocleidomastoid and other muscles in the front of the neck making it very difficult to stop +hunching because the decreased length of these muscles pulls the head down As Chapter +will explain bracing the muscles surrounding the genitals may play a role in sexual dysfunction +There are examples of adaptive muscle shortening in muscles all over our bodies +The pressure from prolonged contracture pulls on tendons straining them and distressing +the joints when they move Next ligaments and joint capsules retract These changes perturb +nerve endings within the muscles and joints causing deepseated pain Muscle shortening also +increases wear and tear contributing to inflammatory and degenerative changes such as +tendonitis fasciitis bursitis and osteoarthritis Many different tissue types are damaged by +strain including articular cartilages connective tissues tendons fascia menisci ligaments and +spinal disks +Adaptive muscle shortening can be made worse by the accumulation of scar tissue Scar +tissue is a very tough inflexible fibrous material that binds itself to strained muscle fibers +attempting to draw the damaged fibers together The result is a bulky mass of stiff tissue +surrounding the site In some cases it is possible to feel and even see this mass under the skin +When scar tissue adheres to muscle fibers it prevents them from sliding back and forth +properly limiting the flexibility of a muscle or joint +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +Scar tissue tends to shrink and deform the surrounding tissues diminishing strength and +making the body feel heavy It tends to adhere to nerve cells leading to chronic pain Existing +research has found that scar tissue is weaker less elastic more prone to future reinjury and +up to times more painsensitive than normal healthy tissue This results in chronic pain +that under most circumstances lasts a lifetime In people who brace the most these effects +create visibly apparent postural distortions +Excessive Tension is Debilitating and Constrains Your Physique +Muscles encumbered by trigger points and adaptive shortening can be conceptualized as +dormant muscles This is so because they are difficult to recruit dont move with the rest of the +body and are starved of blood Dormant muscles cannot recover adequately after a workout +and are resistant to growth and strengthening because they can never fully relax and thus can +never fully heal As long as they are under constant selfimposed strain they will continue to +grow harder more fragile and decrepit Scrunchedup muscles crumple your body and cause it +to buckle under every movement +Pregnancy itself does not necessarily adversely affect a womans physique Rather it is the +months of prolonged bracing absence of postural variety and limited range of motion that can +accompany the later stages of pregnancy for some women that have prominent longlasting +effects Moreover although some of the natural variation in physique between humans is due +to exercise genetics and exposure to testosterone much of it can be attributed to differences +in dormant muscle that arose due to bracing during stress +You have significant untapped reservoirs of muscle in your body that correspond to areas +you brace and have been bracing for decades For example think about the hunch you probably +have in your neck Starting at birth you had a natural tendency to straighten the cervical +vertebrae in your neck stacking them in a straight line That straightnecked upright posture is +optimal But social pressures can affect how we carry our heads and necks the less safe stable +or welcoming your childhood environment was the more you were conditioned to hunch over +communicating modesty or submission The standard submissive neck posture is to stoop over +jut your chin out and tilt your head back All of those changes reduce your height and help you +appear guarded But they also introduce a slant in your neck which is an inefficient way of +stacking vertebrae against the force of gravity The excessive tension that develops leads to the +proliferation of trigger points and those in turn cause muscle dormancy in your neck +shoulders and chest and from there on down the spine +Chapter will detail exactly how to reclaim your neck and regain its flexibility and full +range of motion But the neck is just one example of a reservoir of muscle that has been +suppressed that you can tap into These reservoirs can be found all over our bodies Take your +clothes off and look in the mirror Any body parts that dont appear nubile and supple have +great potential If all of our muscles were brought completely out of dormancy we would have +the physiques if not bulk of elite athletes +Injuries Lead to Muscular Bracing +Injuries contribute to and interact with bracing After getting hurt individuals often try to avoid +experiencing pain by tensing the area surrounding the site of injury When someone sprains +their ankle they unintentionally contract many muscles in the ankle setting it in a fixed +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +defensive position This is intended to protect the injury In fact it is known as splinting +because it acts as a splint to immobilize the joint Unfortunately it also deprives the muscles of +the rest oxygen and nutrients they need to heal As a result splinting worsens the pain in the +long term by overtaxing the muscles involved This happens partly because we tend to breathe +extremely shallowly whenever we injure ourselves because as you know shallow breathing +causes bracing This is why whenever experience an injury pull out my breath metronome +immediately +Injuries almost always result in some form of persistent muscle tension Even major +medical procedures can contribute atrogenic pain is a term referring to pain caused by +medical treatment and is especially common with the use of braces slings casts and surgeries +Immobilizing a broken forearm with a cast can easily lead to frozen shoulder syndrome in +which a group of deltoid muscles is barred from moving through its normal range of motion as +tension gradually mounts +had a melanoma removed from my shoulder blade in my midteens and recently found +that have a series of muscular knots under the scar from bracing the area My brother +received a large shot in the quadriceps during his appendectomy years ago and he says the +same area troubles him often Think conscientiously about past injuries medical procedures +and other forms of trauma identifying how they might be causing you to brace or tense +muscles even today +Stress and muscular tension also make us more susceptible to physical injury because tense +muscles fail and tear under excessive force whereas relaxed ones are more resilient The +muscles strained by sitting in a fixed position at a computer for eight hours a day are the most +susceptible to damage from a fall or car accident Thus injury can lead to bracing and bracing +can lead to reinjury +Tense muscle tissue can be conceptualized as an injury or as a trauma even if there was no +precipitating accident The word injury is defined as physical damage to a biological organism +The word trauma is defined as an abnormality in an organisms tissues usually caused by +injury By these definitions any form of persistent bracing and the trigger points stemming +from it are both injurious and traumatic Unfortunately once they get bad enough they can +poison us emotionally +The Link Between Tension Pain and Negative Emotion +These mountains that you are carrying you were only supposed to climb Najwa Zebian b +Physical pain is an adaptive evolved mechanism The pain from a cut or burn informs us that +our bodies are suffering damage It gives us builtin motivation to withdraw from the source of +harm and learn to avoid it in the future But what about muscular pain also known as myalgia +In contrast to physical pain myalgia has more to do with restricting movement It compels us to +refrain from specific motions that might be damaging or harmfulit tells us not to overstretch +a strained muscle not to bend a weakened joint too far It also tells us when we approach the +limits of our healthy range of motion giving us important feedback about what our bodies can +and cannot do This would have restricted aging huntergatherers from movements that had +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +proven necessary and probably also helped them save energy Due to the negative emotions +it creates however muscular pain is destructive to our wellbeing +Suffering is not abstract or conceptual It is embodied in the pain circuits of your nervous +system Nociceptive pain is pain caused by the activation of pain receptors known as +nociceptors Nociceptors respond to either thermal eg heat or cold chemical eg +inflammatory or mechanical eg crushing or tearing sources of harm They come in three +general types visceral organ superficial skin and deep somatic pain muscle Deep somatic +pain is triggered by the activation of nociceptors in ligaments tendons bones blood vessels +fascia and muscles It is dull aching and difficult to localize Strangely we become so +accustomed to it that we dont consciously notice its presence until a painkiller takes it away +Drugs like heroin and ecstasy induce intense euphoric states largely by alleviating this pain +Longterm bracing of our body parts and chakras causes deep somatic pain that poisons +our minds The toxicity is especially apparent in extreme examples such as people with chronic +pain People living with longterm pain of any kind frequently display psychological disturbances +and exhibit elevated levels of hysteria depression and hypochondriasis the neurotic triad +Chronic pain patients also generally have low selfesteem and higherthanaverage levels of +anxiety fear and anger In fact somatic pain is known to interact with psychogenic pain +which arises from social rejection defeat heartbreak and grief These two forms of pain +comingle and exacerbate one another There is no telling how much the undiagnosed chronic +pain from our muscular tension desecrates us emotionally +The experience of pain is transformed by paced breathing Try it the next time you feel +either physical or psychological pain It takes all the edge off One of the quickest and easiest +ways to create massive amounts of nondamaging pain is to submerge an arm or leg in ice +water Without paced breathing this is excruciating for the two to five minutes it takes for the +body part to go numb For me it is usually so bad that end up pulling my body part out of the +water or times before go numb The discomfort is so intense that practically involuntarily +retract my limb With paced breathing however the pain is tolerable and have no inclination +to pull it out of the ice When we allow pain to control our breathing rate we also allow it to +control our behavior +Pain signals from nerve endings in tense muscles bombard our brains throughout the day +Those signals are relayed to brain areas involved in fear and grief such as the insula the +anterior cingulate cortex and the amygdala These brain centers integrate pain input from +anatomical landmarks all around the body to help compute the appropriate level of pained +reactions stifling agitation rage dread submission and distressed breathing Thus +we become tense breathe shallowly then respond to the ensuing discomfort with more +tension This cycle is depicted relative to other concepts we have addressed thus far in the +diagram below +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +RESPIRATORY BEHAVIORAL MUSCULAR +Muscular iti +Distressed Breathing Bracing Resting Contraction Repetitive +Partial Contraction +Shallow Short Rough Tension Suboptimal Posture ae Muscle Shortening Ischemia +Unassertive Tense Submissive Displays Fain Trigger Points Scar Tissue +Gasping Sighing Persistent Muscle Tension Hypertonia Hypotonia +Stiff Diaphragm Rigid On Guard Closed Off Postural Misalignment +Disuse Atrophy Dormancy +sian THE DISTRESSED Psa +BREATHING CYCLE +Anger Anxiety Depression +eae Sympathetic Upregulation +eens Worldview Emotional Aging Advancing Morbidity +gorse ompetitiveness Rapid Heart Rate Catabolism +Negative uman Interactions Pain Detrimental Developmental Plasticity +Submissiveness Dominating +Frustration Pessimism +Chronic Defeat Negative Affect +Adrenaline Cortisol Startling +Raised Blood Pressure Inflammation +Amygdala Sensitization +Figure Distressed Breathing Cycle +We feel like the emotional pain we experience originates from the content of our +thoughts But this is backward Negative thinking is driven by the inability to take a full breath +and by preexisting pain in our muscles and related tissues These are the ultimate causes of our +persistent background unease Our thinking becomes oppositional only when it is imbued with +pain Tense muscles are leeches latched on to our souls believe that trigger points in our +faces spines and internal organs are the physical embodiment of melancholy world +weariness ennui and angst +Dont Let Your PainBody Control You +Spiritual author Eckhart Tolle has elaborated on a concept he calls the painbody According +to Tolle the painbody is the accumulation of negative life experiences that create affective +pain and discomfort Tolle discusses how it is intrinsically tied to the ego and how +environmental circumstances that assault our pride amplify the painbody and its negative +effects on our behavior He advises that people live in the present moment so that they can +recognize when the painbody shifts from being dormant to being active When it becomes +active it makes us act in desperation distorting our interpretations and judgments and causing +us to do things that we later regret believe that his assessment is correct and that a +considerable proportion of the painbody corresponds to deep somatic pain from the +cumulative effects of muscular bracing also believe that the painbody becomes active when +latent trigger points become active +Specialists traditionally categorize trigger points as either active or latent An active trigger +point is painful whereas a latent trigger point is not Latent trigger points which are far more +numerous generally cannot be felt unless deep pressure is applied Latent trigger points can be +activated by muscular strain especially after an abusive workout a sudden shock or a long car +ride Alternatively they can be activated by shallow breathing which is why facial tension +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +headaches and back pain coincide with stress Consider the unpleasantness of public speaking +for example As we stand in front of a room of people with our eyebrows raised our eyes +squinting our neck tense our shoulders elevated our stomach in knots our vocal musculature +taut and our back stiff latent trigger points in all those muscle groups become active +The resulting pain derails us undermining our presentation and diluting our message +When latent trigger points become active we become an inferior version of ourselves +The pain can also provoke us to lash out Even rats exhibit paininduced aggression If you +place two rats on a metal grid through which they receive an electric shock they will attack +each other ferociously when the shock is delivered Hundreds of similar studies suggest that +mammals have a tendency to displace aggression reallocating blame for their physical pain +toward other nearby animals +This is consistent with Tolles account He explains that the painbody is born of and +enticed by pain In his words it is a psychic parasite that wants to provoke pain in others +and then feed on the ensuing drama He says that peoples painbodies possess them +causing them to do bad things that they would never otherwise do and that they react to +the painbodies of others with either revulsion or aggression +believe that we constantly provoke one anothers painbodies and latent trigger points +to establish social hierarchy by determining who has been debilitated more by chronic stress +Do we all do this constantly Yes Are we evil for doing it No Remember competing for social +dominance is an innate system for determining which animal has priority over resources It is a +highly preferable alternative to actual violence and represents the mammalian brains +imperfect attempt at creating order A considerable step toward becoming free of this +evolutionary design flaw is to unburden yourself from the cyclic relationship between +distressed breathing bracing and pain Use Exercise to start breaking the cycle +Relaxation Exercise Desensitize Yourself to Pain +The next time you feel angry anxious lonely sad or any negative emotion try to find the +root cause of it in the form of your bodily pain Once you localize it in your body take its +power away by recognizing it for what it is Use the following concepts to help you +To overcome our painbodies we must change our relationship with pain Our aversion and +oversensitivity to discomfort are exactly what drive it When pain makes us brace or breathe +shallowly we are fighting against it and making it worse The way we bear our suffering +should be dignified Accept it with courage and grit The unease we manufacture when we +wallow in pain braces trigger points that keep us tense Instead like a warrior we need to be +tolerant and nonreactive in response to internal discomfort +The pain you feel is not you It is just an annoying buzzer going off in the background +reminding you that you have been going too hard on your body This should cause you to +ease up on your body rather than go harder Recognize the limited validity of the discomfort +and develop the ability to tune it out of your experience Disidentify from it Dont allow it to +flip your thoughts from positive to negative Dont allow it to make you attack others +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +You will find that the raw agonizing buzz of anxiety will fall away if you breathe as if you +werent in pain By breathing slowly and deeply while focusing on the subtle stinging +reverberating throughout your body you will learn to unbrace This will heal you +The Link Between Distressed Breathing and Muscular Tension +Scientists have documented that average muscle tension especially tension in trigger points +increases during transient stress Muscles will tighten up during a paper and pencil examination +or during and after watching a horror film The same is true for more chronic sources of stress +like longlasting personal or workrelated stress Stress and more specifically heightened +arousal of the sympathetic nervous system increases the risk of repetitive strain injury +especially during repetitive tasks This means that if you are stressed while sitting at the +computer for hours your body is fast at work cementing your computer posture into +your joints +Stress causes bracing via distressed breathing Numerous brain pathways connect shallow +breathing to muscle tension This is a hardwired connection that prepares mammals for +physical conflict As our breath becomes shallow we brace more in preparation for fighting +Relaxed breathing by contrast causes us to brace less and experience less pain So unbrace +your diaphragm and let your outbreaths become passive and limp +Since childhood my hands used to hurt and cramp after just a few minutes of +uninterrupted writing or drawing Since started breathing diaphragmatically however my +hands do not hurt or cramp even after an hour of pushing a pencil When do manual labor all +day with friends they all tell me the next day that their bodies are sore but notice that mine is +not This is because the way that breathe now after diaphragmatic retraining is conducive to +microbreaking As you pursue the five tenets of diaphragmatic breathing described thus far +you will find similar examples in your own life +Find Calm Through Visual Imagery +Imagine finding yourself alone on an inflatable raft following a nasty shipwreck Your mind is +racing playing out the worst possible scenarios You glance at the few remaining tins of food +realizing there is no way to know how many days you will be out on the open sea The thought +of starvation brings on a wave of panic and bodily constriction Then you hear a voice in your +head Conserve your energy or you are going to die Imagine at that second you have an +epiphany You recognize panic as an energy consumer that will only increase your caloric +requirements You realize that you needed a lifeanddeath experience to see how your familiar +neuroticism is simply a metabolic state that can be adjusted Wow you say Ive been +carrying this frenetic tension for so long but can just let it go +Picture yourself laying your head down on the plastic surface of the raft and making a +concerted effort to placate your hectic reactivity Let your body descend to an absolute +minimum of activity Your face goes lax your heart beats slowly but steadily you are breathing +just enough to get adequate oxygen and every muscle you arent currently using unwinds +You let yourself be still as the rhythm of the ocean lulls you Now this was an extreme example +but it was meant to help you see that stressing out on a survival raft is counterproductive +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +Similarly your baseline level of stress today is almost certainly out of proportion to your +immediate physical challenges +There is no need to return to that raft That was an intentionally provocative example +Instead come up with positive imaginary In mine am a man foraging on a subSaharan +savannah years ago well before humanity split apart into distinct races am moving +and working constantly but at the same time am impossibly calm cool and levelheaded +Most importantly this version of me allows every muscle in his body to go lax unless it is +needed for a particular motion With hunger and nutrition major concerns it would have been +imperative for our ancestors to conserve metabolic activity doing only what is required So this +Jared walks and talks with incredible ease His stride is fluid his face is placid and his posture is +perfect yet effortless would like to encourage you to spend some time creating similar mental +imagery that is compatible with calmness +Stress raises metabolism in the short term and activation of the sympathetic nervous +system can double our resting or basal metabolic rate But it does so only for a few hours +Over weeks and months chronic stress actually leads to a lowered metabolism and everything +that comes with it including weight gain visceral fat elevated blood pressure cardiovascular +disease diabetes and other health risks One of many reasons for this is that as you read +earlier when you start bracing a muscle it burns a lot of energy but if you keep bracing it it +shortens physically so that it doesnt have to burn energy to remain in contraction +Scientists distinguish between catabolic states in which energy is burned for movement +and anabolic states in which energy is stored and used to construct necessary molecules like +proteins The parasympathetic system uses anabolism during periods of rest to build the body +back up leading to revitalization The sympathetic system uses catabolism to burn energy for +fight or flight Catabolic breakdown that goes on too long consumes our energy stores +including important proteins leading to depletion and corrosion When we become stuck in +anxious stressed or hyperactive states catabolic pathways within our cells become overactive +and place huge unnecessary demands on our bodys other systems Stress even burns away +muscle making it harder to stay fit and lean We are lumbering cellular survival machines +burning ourselves to the ground because we are stuck in overdrive You need to let your body +relax so that you can stop burning parts of the ship +If you need a role model for this kind of calm look to those who naturally breathe with +their diaphragm toddlers have been fortunate enough to spend time babysitting my friends +children One day with an imperturbable twoyearold girl was especially transformative for me +She was so sweet and pacific that my highstrung personality seemed likely to scare her So as +we passed blocks back and forth worked on getting closer and closer to her level of wideeyed +peacefulness Now often pretend that it is my responsibility to be a calming influence on +others the way she was for me +Some people dont want to be calmer They enjoy being energetic and intense The truth of +the matter is that being energetic and being calm should be two sides of the same coin +Without the ability to dole out microbreaks exhilaration turns into exhaustion in a matter of +minutes If a person cannot balance intensity with periods of rest then they will burn out like a +sprinter running a daily marathon +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Never Be Afraid of Being Too Calm +One of the greatest barriers to relaxation is the instinct to keep alert on edge and ready to act +Some people are afraid that becoming too calm will result in tragedy It is true that increasing +the output of the stress system might indeed help you fight or take flight if your challenges are +immediate and very severe However if you dont know when the challenge will arise then you +are better off relaxing completely This is because a chronically activated sympathetic stress +system becomes a detriment in a matter of hours +For instance if you were convinced that someone or something was going to threaten your +life in the next few minutes maybe you would need to activate the sympathetic stress system +This is because it just might free up enough energy or accentuate a reaction that saves your life +However if you have no grounds for assuming that a physical threat could take your life in the +next hour then you are better off turning the stress system all the way down and allowing your +muscles and mind the rest they need to stay strong Even a mixed martial artist would benefit +from being as calm as possible up until minutes before entering the ring So stop holding your +breath stop clenching your diaphragm and allow yourself to let go of the suspense +Very few of us have lifethreatening challenges Most of the challenges we stress over are +far from life or death and do not depend on adrenaline or splitsecond timing Given our bodys +design and the nature of our modern challenges the best strategy by far is to develop a +relaxed lowenergy disposition Know that even when you are calm you can still be strong +quick and nimble Let this knowledge validate your confidence in relaxation +Relaxation Activity Stay Limp Until You Spring into Action +We tend to brace because we are preparing ourselves to spring into action We have a deep +inner fear that if we relax too much we will not be able to react in time when something bad +happens Ironically stress leads to startling trembling and excessive bracing all of which +interfere with our ability to produce effective physical responses With this in mind imagine +the scenarios below and envision your entire body remaining completely relaxed up until the +point at which you must react +You are an actor in a play waiting for your cue to come on stage +You are a professional basketball player leisurely dribbling down the court with just +three seconds before you will make a fast break toward the basket for a dunk +You watch your friend accidentally knock over a glass and you prepare to catch it in +midair +Someone is yelling at you and is about to strike at your face +You are a football player resting on the ground briefly between plays +You are sitting patiently in your bosss office waiting for them to start your annual +performance review +You are reclining with your phone on your chest The ringer is on high volume and +you are expecting an important phone call at some point in the next five minutes +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +Dont think of resting as something you have to earn and never feel guilty for taking +downtime We are animals Breaks are not a reward they are a necessity +Bracing Is Submissive +Another reason we are afraid to let go of our bracing patterns is that we use them as +submissive displays During an encounter or confrontation the less dominant individual will +brace more It is a visible proclamation that exclaims Look Im wasting energy handicapping +myself during this encounter Dont attack me Im not looking to fight When we engage in +this social paralysis we strain many muscles and drastically restrict their range of motion The +more serious the situation the stiffer we become +Submissive people adopt tight symmetric stances often pinning their arms tightly to their +sides They minimize the amount of space that their bodies occupy by collapsing themselves +inward as much as possible and then freezing in place When you brace your muscles in this +way you submissively close yourself off from the world Dominant postures on the other hand +emerge naturally when bracing is at a minimum Once you stop bracing you take up space +Dominant people appear the least stifled in their body movements Their motions are fluid and +open This is why expanding your range of expressive movement will help you convey +dominance So will asymmetry openness and repose in your body and limb positions +Relaxed physical bearing and relaxed body language are highly characteristic of dominant +primates Dominant monkeys and apes are eventempered and collected while subordinate +animals are uptight and agitated Of course none of us want to think about dominance and +status when trying to relax Still it should be reassuring to know that your unbraced and +relaxed posture is the antithesis of inferiority in primates Whether you are at a party at work +or passing time with friends and family be the most carefree laidback slackmuscled monkey +you can be +Find Calm Through Corpse Pose +Another way to confront tension is through physical relaxation techniques An indispensable +one is corpse pose or shavasana Corpse pose is a recumbent yoga pose in which you lie on +your back and focus on the total relaxation of your muscles Although the name is a little +morbid it drives home the reality that you must embrace some aspects of death to truly rest +You must retire certain defensive muscular contractions that are intended to keep you alive +While lying down in shavasana focus on retiring all the defensive contractions that you use +while upright including those that keep you from falling while walking Most people take those +contractions to bed with them every night this is a chance to let them go +Relaxation Exercise Corpse Pose +Assume corpse pose lying on your back You can lie straight or with your arms out at +degree angles and your legs spread at about degrees Try your best to completely relax +every muscle Scan your entire body for muscular tension of any kind Become a fresh +cadaver with no trace of rigor mortis Become a carcass resting in peace Become a limp pool +of flesh +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +After the first two minutes of corpse pose you will feel your neck and lower back start to +writhe Focus closely on this tendency to twist about Try to remain still Notice the +discomfort that stillness creates in your muscles and how it makes you want to squirm toss +and turn By inhibiting your tendency to squirm you quell the bracing patterns Building +comfort with complete motionlessness will greatly enhance your composure +When began practicing it found corpse pose to be a chore was so restless that trying +to lie still was stressinducing Paced breathing changed my experience completely As you +confront individual pockets of tension the long slow breaths dismiss and discharge them one +after the other A week of practicing paced breathing while in corpse pose for just five minutes +a day is profoundly transformative A hot bath can do much to reduce muscle tension and +increase blood flow so use corpse pose while soaking Epsom salts aromatherapy candles +and a breath metronome may help believe that diaphragmatic breathing and corpse pose +similarly enhance cold body therapy also known as cryotherapy in which cold air ice packs +or ice baths are used to reduce pain and tension +There are numerous muscles in our bodies that we simply do not know how to relax Our +necks and hips are full of them We toil all day without giving these muscles even a few seconds +to regenerate Use corpse pose to provide that time At least three times per day lie down +wherever you happen to be and replenish Eventually work toward a walking corpse pose +and then imagine extending that same kind of utter relaxation to all your waking movements +Find Calm Through Relaxation Training and Unbracing +As we have discussed most people are entirely unaware of the tension they carry in their +muscles even though it causes them pain One way to develop awareness is by engaging in +bidirectional control Bidirectional control or increasing and then decreasing muscle tension is +used to treat many disorders that are made worse by bracing When you find a posture that +you brace within let it go then incrementally bring it back and let it go again The more familiar +you become with specific instances of bracing the better you will be at noticing them +interrupting them and bringing them to rest +When you first find and relax a particular bracing pattern you may notice yourself +breathing more shallowly This is because bracing gives us a false sense of protection and +security and when we interrupt it we feel naked and unguarded Rebracing the area puts us +back into our comfort zone The only way to circumvent this pattern of escape and relapse is to +practice unbracing while overriding distressed breathing with paced diaphragmatic breathing +The unbracing protocol below will guide you through the process +Unbracing Protocol +Recognize a pattern of tension that you brace within It might be in the face neck +tongue eyes jaw hands arms legs back shoulders stomach etc +Spend time discovering how to brace it further and how to bring it into a full +contraction Explore the muscles range of motion and degree of freedom +Use bidirectional control to relax it tense it then relax it again Use this method to +gradually identify the most relaxed resting state that you can achieve +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +Notice that when the muscle is unbraced underlying pain and discomfort become +apparent Deep slow breathing will become more difficult than usual Focus on the +discomfort involved as you continue to breathe diaphragmatically The discomfort will +slowly subside This is what it feels like to heal trauma +Bidirectional control and the unbracing protocol can be used in conjunction with +progressive relaxation a tool developed in the early s by Edmund Jacobson In +progressive relaxation different muscle groups throughout the body are relaxed one at a time +As a therapeutic exercise it has been shown to lead to reductions in neuromuscular tension +breathing rate and sympathetic activity recommend that you search online for guided +progressive relaxation exercises and videos You might also try searching for a similar practice +called body scan Make a record of the videos that you like and practice them weekly We +need to delve into this inner space if we are to bring peace to it Below is a progressive +relaxation exercise that you can combine with the unbracing protocol above +Relaxation Exercise Progressive Relaxation for Bedtime +Lie down in bed and assume one of your typical sleeping postures Hold each of the following +forms of bracing with moderate to high intensity for seconds then let them go utterly +Release the muscles abruptly and enjoy the feeling of limpness Allow the relaxation to +develop for at least seconds +Flex or curl your feet and let go +Bending at the knees pull your heels up toward your butt to engage your hamstrings +and let go +Arch your lower back and let go +Use the muscles of your pelvic floor to pull your thighs together and let go +Tilt your hips to one side then the other and let go +Raise your shoulders and let go +Flex your biceps and let go +Tighten your hands without making fists and let go +Brace your neck in different directions and let go +Squint your eyes and let go +Press your tongue firmly against the roof of your mouth and suck and let go +Finally assume the spinal position you would be in if you were in an atrocious amount +of physical pain Hold that position and let go +Throughout the book we will build on this concept of forcing a partially contracted muscle +to contract completely and then letting it relax Chapter will detail how this can be used to +reverse all the partial contraction and pain in your body using a technique that call anti +rigidity training As discussed in that chapter this involves using physical poses that activate +underutilized joint configurations It narrows in on poses that ache and cause the joints to +crack Once you find these achy configurations in your body you will work on contracting the +muscles involved to full fatigue It feels like a good stretch but it is much more than that +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +The process of holding the contraction outside its normal range of motion encourages blood +flow unlocks trigger points and elongates muscles to their optimal length unlike anything +elseaside from massage that is +Massage Counteracts Partial Contraction and Dormant Muscle +Despite the growing recognition that muscle tension causes most common pain targeting the +trigger points that cause it is not part of mainstream medical education Physicians +psychiatrists and psychologists rarely consider muscular dysfunction despite it being a major +contributor to a wide variety of diseases and disorders The medical establishment has found +that it is more profitable to direct funding toward pharmaceuticals medical devices surgeries +and other medical procedures than toward massage and the manual compression of trigger +points This is true even though there is overwhelming support for the concept of trigger points +and the use of massage in resolving them from distinguished medical institutions such as the +American Pain Society +am generally aligned with and fond of the modern medical establishment but its neglect +of bracing repetitive strain and trigger points is unacceptable Today many experts worldwide +recognize that muscle pain may be the biggest cause of disability and loss of productivity in the +workplace Nonetheless clinicians focus on major surgery and on masking muscle pain with +drugs rather than less invasive safer and more effective solutions that are already known We +cant expect doctors to solve all of our problems We need to let the doctors off the hook and +take responsibility for our muscles into our own hands +Physically massaging trigger points with firm pressure breaks them up allowing blood and +oxygen back into the muscle Massage is thought to be the least invasive most costeffective +and safest way to reinstate circulation and reverse the selfsustaining contraction that +maintains them The next chapter will explain precisely how to perform compressive massage +on your own muscles +Trigger point massage and antirigidity are easy to do and work wonders However there is +a simple explanation for why you and everyone you know arent already using these techniques +regularly The body only allows muscle groups to open up if the person is breathing +diaphragmatically This means that these two techniques dont work nearly as well for people +who have not undergone diaphragmatic retraining However combining long breaths with +massage achy poses and contraction into the most painful muscles in my body liberated my +neck shoulders hips and lower back from a state of stinging rigidity After reading Chapters +and you will have all the knowledge you need to do this for yourself +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +Chapter Bullet Points +e Tense muscles with excessive tone burden us Their tension develops from extended +periods of uninterrupted use This prolonged use is known as repetitive strain or +persistent muscle tension +e Much of the muscle tension that we experience comes from unnecessary bracing +Bracing is largely involuntary but is avoidable because we can become aware of it +e Rest and microbreaks give strained muscles the downtime they need to regenerate +e Deprived of breaks overused muscles become ultrafatigued But given the proper +microbreaks the same muscles could have been healthy and toned +e Longterm strain changes our muscles physically leading to adaptive muscles +shortening scar tissue and the formation of trigger points +e Adaptive muscle shortening is a form of partial contraction in which a muscle can +neither rest nor contract completely The fact that the muscle is shorter can distort +posture and proper skeletal alignment +e We have partially contracted muscles in the face vocal tract spine abdomen +genitals and other areas +e Muscles that have been in partial contraction for years go dormant Dormant muscles +limit movement promote frailty and lower metabolism They are atrophied weak +inflamed surrounded by fat deposits susceptible to injury and worst of all painful +e Most people have unknowingly allowed muscles in the crux of their necks and lower +backs to become completely dormant to the point where they are immobilized and can +hardly be contracted at all If they happen to contract fully as during a fall or when +lifting something heavy it would be painful and would result in injury +e We brace our breathing muscles including the diaphragm when we are nervous This +can push them into partial contraction To unbrace the diaphragm allow your +exhalations to become passive This involves doing no work during the exhalation and +letting the breathing muscles go limp The exhalation provides a brief opportunity for all +the breathing muscles to relax and receive a microbreak +e Pain signals sent to our brain from tense muscles overwhelm our emotional lives +They cause the painbody to flare up heightening aggression ego and competition +for status +e Muscular tension is a fundamental medical and biological problem Due to its relation to +stress it is responsible for a wide range of downstream pathologies and health issues +e Several studies have shown that relaxing the muscles of the body reduces anxiety +e Distressed breathing results in muscle tension and increased bracing Chronic distressed +breathing results in copious dormant muscle +e Diaphragmatic breathing reduces excessive muscular tone allowing muscles the +microbreaks they need to regenerate This makes it so that the repetitive strains of +everyday life strengthen our muscles rather than weaken them +e Your body has learned to be tense but you can teach it to let go of the tension +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Unbracing which can be accomplished by allowing muscles to go limp is an acquired +skill that can rehabilitate your entire body when combined with diaphragmatic +breathing +Corpse pose involves lying on the back and focusing on fullbody relaxation +Progressive relaxation involves systematically scanning over the entire body tensing +muscles then completely releasing them +The most dominant primates are the least affected by bracing and brace the least during +confrontation and opposition So unbrace +Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy +Chapter Endnotes +Reser J Does rheumatoid arthritis represent an adaptive thrifty condition +Medical Hypotheses +Whatmore G B Kohli D R Dysponesis A neurophysiological factor in +functional disorders Systems Research and Behavioral Science +Rajiv D Harjyot S Good sleep bad sleep The role of daytime naps in healthy +adults Current Opinion in Internal Medicine +Androniki N Siesta in healthy adults and coronary mortality in the general +population Archives of Internal Medicine +Alvarez D J Rockwell P G Trigger points Diagnosis and management +American Family Physician +Alvarez Rockwell Trigger points +OSullivan S Physical rehabilitation FA Davis Company +Davies C The trigger point therapy workbook Your selftreatment guide for pain +relief New Harbinger +Shah J P Danoff J V Desai M J Parikh S Nakamura L Y Phillips T M Gerber +L H Biochemicals associated with pain and inflammation are elevated in sites near to +and remote from active myofascial trigger points Archives of Physical Medicine and +Rehabilitation +Reser J Does rheumatoid arthritis represent an adaptive thrifty condition +Medical Hypotheses +Wall P D Melzack R The challenge of pain Penguin Books +Bruehl S Burns J W Chung O Y Chont M Painrelated effects of trait anger +expression neural substrates and the role of endogenous opioid mechanisms Neuroscience +Biobehavioral Reviews +Eisenberger N Lieberman M D Why rejection hurts A common neural alarm +system for physical and social pain Trends in Cognitive Science +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Pluess M Conrad A Wilhelm F H Muscle tension in generalized anxiety +disorder A critical review of the literature Journal of Anxiety Disorders +Tolle E A new Earth Awakening to your lifes purpose Penguin Books +Azrin N H Rubin H B Hutchinson R R Biting attack by rats in response to +aversive shack Journal of the Experimental Analysis of Behavior +Aras A Ro O Workload when using a mouse as an input device international +Journal of HumanComputer Interaction Buckles PW Devereux J J +The nature of workrelated neck and upper limb musculoskeletal disorders Applied +Ergonomics Veiersted K Sustained muscle tension as a risk factor for +trapezius myalgia In R Nielsen K Jorgenson Eds Advances in industrial ergonomics and +safety Taylor Francis +Gevirtz R The muscle spindle trigger point model of chronic pain Biofeedback +Travell J Simons R Myofascial pain syndrome The trigger point manual +Williams Wilkins +Mehrabian A Verbal and nonverbal interactions of strangers in a waiting room +Journal of Experimental Research in Personality Reynolds V Reynolds F +Chimpanzees in the Budongo Forest In DeVore Ed Primate behavior Field studies of +monkeys and apes pp New York Holt Rinehart and Winston +Fioravanti A Cantarini L Guidelli G M Galeazzi M Mechanisms of action of +spa therapies in rheumatic diseases What scientific evidence is there Rheumatology +International +Shumay D Peper E Healthy computing A comprehensive group training +approach using biofeedback In G Salvendy M J Smith R J Koubek Eds Design of +computing systems Cognitive considerations pp Elsevier Stein C Schafer M +Machelska H Attacking pain at its source New perspectives on opioids +Nature Medicine +Ditto B Eclache M Goldman N Shortterm autonomic and cardiovascular +effects of mindfulness body scan meditation Annals of Behavioral Medicine +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +The mind which before massage is in a perturbed restless vacillating and even despondent state becomes calm +quiet peaceful and subdued after massage In fact the wearied and worried mind has been converted into a mind +restful placid and refreshed Thomas Stretch Dowse +The Power of Massage to Alleviate Tension Insanity +The benefits of massage are most apparent in cases in which muscular tension is so extreme +that it becomes debilitating Let us start with an especially vivid example from my own life It +involves a close friend who suffered psychotic episodes during which he became highly +delusional His breakdowns were so severe that he had to be hospitalized on three separate +occasions He had previously been diagnosed with schizophrenia as well as bipolar disorder +conditions that were precipitated by harmful life circumstances His mother had recently died +of cancer his father had been murdered years before he faced frequent bullying from +hardened streetwise men he had gone through a harsh breakup been homeless for months +and drank large amounts of caffeine every day +In the days leading up to hospitalization his thinking became severely deranged He would +become convinced that his friends were saints and that he was an angel responsible for +preventing a coming apocalypse Twice his state regressed to the point of catatonia which has +also been called tension insanity Catatonia is a rare form of psychomotor immobility in +which a patient holds rigid poses performs stereotyped repetitive movements and often +cannot speak +On the first occasion he was found by a mutual friend who called me to ask for help When +arrived found our buddy standing rigidly shaking with a pained expression plastered on his +face He would not sit or lie down and had been standing for two straight days He did not +respond to speech or any form of communication He squinted heavily The circles under his +eyes had become much darker than usual He made no eye contact and stared vacantly at the +floor He was normally a conscientious person but by the time arrived he was urinating and +defecating in his shorts When checked his breathing found that each breath he took lasted +about half a second and his tidal range was minimal +Most worrying of all was his physical bearing Although he was only his posture was +that of an old sick man He looked fragile and the tension in his neck and back seemed +excruciating Having lost all concern for selfpresentation he looked as if he had been standing +in a cold shower for hours All his muscles were braced recognized his tortured posture as a +direct expression of his painbody the suffering we all carry and attempt to conceal At that +point realized that if were in a catatonic state my postural deformities would similarly rise +to the surface +His catatonia made him very difficult to help There was nothing we could do to move his +rigid frame down the stairs and into the car When we tried to carry him he shook and moaned +violently and it became clear that he would need to relax if he were going to get to the +hospital So began massaging him started with his neck then moved on to his shoulders and +back His back felt crooked the curvature unnatural and deformed But we rapidly made +progress at first his spine resisted my efforts but every minute he loosened up a little more +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +and within ten minutes he was crying with relief After he was able to hobble to the car and +sit down inside it +On our way to the hospital he uttered his only full sentence of the day If calm down +will die Experts consider catatonia to be a vastly reduced state of consciousness Yet from +this state he was able to verbalize perhaps the most entrenched albeit delusional conviction +that all humans have did my best to explain to him why this was an irrational and self +defeating belief will spend the rest of this book attempting to convince you of the same +The main takeaway of this chapter is that massage can convince your body that relaxation does +not come at the risk of death +Getting to the hospital though was not the end of his struggles For that visit alone which +turned out to be just the first of three he owed more than in medical bills asked +him what the doctors did for him that cost so much and he told me that they restrained him in +a bed and gave him drugs for two weeks He wound up dependent on those drugs and had to +be weaned off them slowly and painfully It is not clear what benefit the medicines and doctors +provided other than removing him from his stressful environment Certainly they conferred no +longterm benefit +believe that a year of weekly hourlong deeptissue fullbody massages would have +largely rehabilitated him At per massage this would have cost less than If this had +been his treatment think he would have had a much better chance at real lasting recovery +If he had received worth of massage therapy this would have bought him +massages That equates to an hourlong massage every week for years If had been in +charge of his health know how would have invested the money +After reading this chapter you will know how to massage yourself for free This will +complement and reinforce the other Program Peace techniques you are using to promote your +overall health +Use Compression to Remove Trigger Points Scar Tissue and Muscle Shortening +Recent estimates indicate that around percent of the atoms in the body are replaced every +year Despite this constant remodeling the body unfortunately preserves its muscle tension +It does this because it treats tension as an essential form of memory Our organism trusts and +values the specific pattern of trauma distribution across our various limbs organs and body +parts because that pattern is a historical record telling us exactly how best to be defensive +We were preprogrammed to conserve our tension increase it as necessary and die with it +but not to reverse it +Modern medicine has no cure for muscular tension There is no pill you can take to remove +its physical manifestations Compared to many other diseases and disorders there is very little +active biomedical research on curing muscular strain Some researchers attempt to treat trigger +points with injections therapeutic ultrasound or transcutaneous electrical stimulation but +none of these have yet proven very effective think basic and preclinical research on the issue +should be given the highest priority in medicine especially because persistent muscular tension +is a contributing factor to many mental and physical diseases Molecular pharmacologists will +eventually develop a drug that completely eradicates muscular strain but it will take decades +for such a panacea to surface Our bodies and minds dont have decades +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +That leaves us with nonclinical treatment options for the time being Massage combined +with diaphragmatic breathing is by far the best therapy available and recommend starting +your practice immediately have been using physical compression for years to rouse dormant +muscles all over my body Before began was covered in muscles that were painful to +compress Applying even light pressure almost anywhere stung Now all of these spots have +become painless even when subjected to significant pressure +Massage is effective for straightforward reasons Compression forces the muscle to relax +and allows it to reset to a lower level of tone It feeds slack into the injured muscle reversing +muscle shortening and reducing mechanical deformation at the joint It breaks down trigger +points as well as deposits of calcium It accelerates venous blood drainage and lymphatic +clearance Compression breaks up adhesions between muscle fibers and disintegrates scar +tissue freeing the fibers to slide past each other again It is unclear exactly what compression +does at the level of actin and myosin the microscopic proteins discussed in the last chapter +that form the structure of individual muscle fibers Many researchers believe that it detaches +strands of actin from myosin after they have become stuck together allowing them to function +freely again +Specific conditions that are consistently and successfully treated with manual compressive +therapy include headaches back pain neck pain shoulder pain carpal tunnel syndrome shin +splints sciatica TMJ fasciitis tendonitis and many other soft tissue inflammatory disorders of +the joints Given the prevalence of those conditions and the general level of muscular tension +that most of us develop over lifetimes of bracing and social submissiveness selfapplied trigger +point massage is a necessary life skill +Focus Compression on Tender Achy Muscles +One of the most studied therapies for combatting trigger points is a form of compression called +soft tissue therapy also referred to as soft tissue mobilization or myofascial release The +practice involves pinning down and squeezing an area of muscle with hard pressure for several +seconds The idea is to press firmly into soft tissue including skin fascia periosteum and +superficially and deeply located muscles The best locations for applying pressure are the +trigger points themselves which you can detect with your fingers They often feel like a small +length of partially cooked pasta or a slender worm under the skin Most professional masseuses +describe muscles with multiple trigger points as having a crunchy or spongy quality +Muscles with trigger points are also easy to identify because they are tender to the touch +In contrast healthy muscles dont elicit a pain response under pressure Tenderness should be +your operative diagnostic criterion Concentrate your efforts on any tender mass you find +Apply pressure dig and release Use your knuckle fingertip the heel of your palm or elbow to +get in as deep as possible to break down the scar tissue and fibrous adhesions The tip side or +first knuckle of the thumb can be particularly useful You want to compress tender muscles all +over your body +You can use a tool to avoid straining your hands or to apply pressure more easily to hard +toreach areas Pictured below are the implements that use to perform compression on +myself You can find an eyebolt in any hardware store and the other tools can be found easily +online if not at your local sporting goods store Aside from my own hands the Index Knobber +shown at the far right of the picture below is my tool of choice +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Tools for compression A Thera Cane B Backknobber C Baseballs attached with drilled holes +and metal screws D Spiked massage ball E Foam therapy ball F Softballs G Squash ball H Tennis ball Yoga +Therapy Balls in sack J Three sizes of eyebolts x x x K Knobble L Jacknobber +M Index Knobber You can also place tools on the floor such as a hard water bottle rolling pin racquetball +barbell pipe or wooden dowel and push your body into them +The benefits of compression have to do with muscles need for microbreaks which we have +discussed previously The muscles that feel tender when subjected to deep compression have not +had the breaks they need to remain healthy Compression gives them a muchneeded respite +reestablishing blood flow and permitting full regeneration The muscle may feel warm afterward +as fresh blood rushes to areas that are normally neglected To send fresh blood into an area you +first need to squeeze existing blood out by performing something called ischemic compression +It is helpful to visualize the effects As you massage imagine that you are pressing into +pale pink tissue that has lost most of its blood supply Envision the muscle turning white as you +compress it and the remaining blood is squeezed out Then as you release imagine fresh red +blood flooding into the area Imagine that this redness dissipates in a few seconds but that the +muscle stays more brightly colored than it was before Of course all of that is quite literally +happening Compression creates the cellular events necessary to express the genes required to +build new blood vessels This renewed blood supply brings the muscle back to life Below is an +overview of the steps involved in the Program Peace compression routine +Compression Protocol +Breathe Use the tenets of diaphragmatic breathing throughout your massage practice +This will help ensure that your muscles remain relaxed even during discomfort If +compression becomes particularly painful take a deep breath in then breathe out +slowly through pursed lips to extend your exhalation +Pressure Find a muscle that is tender when compressed Press firmly on the muscle +with the tip of a finger knuckle or tool for between five and seconds On most areas +of the body you can apply between five and pounds of pressure To gauge this +imagine a dumbbell of a given weight resting on top Use less pressure on more painful +or delicate areas Release reposition centimeters or millimeters away and repeat +Movement Some practitioners recommend sliding a finger thumb or tool down the +length of the muscle They use deep firm strokes that move in the direction of the +muscle fibers Others recommend stroking across the muscle repeatedly like strumming +a guitar string Try to develop skill at both Either way you want to pin the skin down +and slide it over the muscle rather than slide your fingers over the skin You can also +simply press into an area of tenderness rather than stroke it If can find a taught +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +sore band of muscle will often nestle my knuckle in on one side of it and press +rhythmically for minutes at a time +Intensity On a scale of one to ten aim for a tolerable pain level of six or seven +Light massage at a pain level of two or three can also be beneficial but will take much +longer to have an effect At a six or a seven the pain you feel should be mixed with +pleasure It should hurt good but should not be enough to make you squirm brace +or breathe shallowly +Attention Once you release the muscle pay attention to how its level of bracing has +diminished You may feel insecure or exposed now that you are no longer bracing +Note the automatic tendency to either resume bracing or breathe shallowly Resist both +urges continuing to breathe deeply while keeping the area relaxed This will encourage +the muscle to reset to a lower level of tone +Follow up The next day if the muscle is bruised or hurts when contracted it is a sign +that you pushed too hard However if it is slightly sore to the touch then you made +substantial progress This soreness should disappear with just a few minutes of +additional massage After the soreness subsides wait a few hours for it to come back +and compress it again with the same degree of force Repeat this process until the +muscle no longer hurts to compress Depending on the muscles size and the severity of +the tension this could take days weeks or months +Percuss Your Tender Tense Muscles +The steady consistent pressure of compression therapy can be complemented by percussive +massage Percussive here means hitting or striking Many professional masseuses +routinely use slapping beating and pummeling which are all examples of percussive massage +This approach is similar to the tapotement technique in Swedish massage and certain shiatsu +regimens It was documented to have been used in ancient Japan when children massaged their +elders after long days bending over in the rice fields Because the childrens fingers were not +strong enough to perform a kneading motion they balled up their hands and struck the sore +muscles with their fists The Japanese term mago no te was used to describe this type of +massage which translates to grandchilds hands The protocol below details a related method +that Ill refer to as percussion +Percussion Protocol +Use a knuckle fist palm heel baseball or softball to repeatedly strike dormant +achy muscle For even deeper muscle work use a tool like the Index Knobber to strike +Use force and speed similar to what would be appropriate for conventional +clappingapplause Strike the muscle firmly and repetitively like a sewing machine or a +woodpecker Strike at a rate of roughly three to five times per second rising one to +three inches above the skin between strikes +Concentrate this pummeling action on a tender area of muscle just an inch or two in +diameter for to seconds +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +percuss my neck shoulders back arms legs knees and ankles firmly all over with +objects ranging from baseballs to knucklesized tools weekly recommend percussing your +entire body with a hard implement If you dont have any of the tools below dont hesitate to +start just using your knuckles or palm heel Using percussion is one of the fastest and least +painful ways to erode trigger points and reanimate dormant muscle +Ts +Sy +e +SiS Oe +Illustration Tools for percussion A Softball B Tennis ball C Eyebolt x D Jacknobber +E Index Knobber F Bonger G Brookstone vibrating massagers H Theragun +Vibration +strongly recommend that you spend around on a handheld vibrating massager Using it +on your neck and head should give you the chills and make your body tingle a clear sign that it +is sorely needed Use it wherever it feels good Vibration tends not to work as well on trigger +points as compression or percussion However even just one minute per day of vibratory +stimulation will alleviate bracing and increase circulation When used before bed it can +promote better sleep Also use it on tender muscles after massage Doing so can encourage +the wellworked muscles to relax further which helps the massage do its work +Delocalized Pressure +Aside from targeting small localized areas of tissue with compression and percussion it can be +therapeutic to provide firm pressure to larger areas This is a form of delocalized pressure that +compresses but also stretches many muscles at the same time This occurs when someone +presses firmly into a large area of the body Thai masseuses walk on the body to provide this +kind of relief Delocalized pressure pushes various muscle bracing pattern configurations +outside their normally restricted range which can have longlasting positive effects It will give +your joints including those in the spine more play and articulation +Massage Activity Delocalized Pressure for the Spine +Perform the following activity on a friend then have them perform it on you Have them +lie down on their stomach on a bed or the floor With your hands side by side press into +their spine with the heel of both palms for two seconds at a time Start by pressing lightly +times as you move from the top of their neck to the bottom of their sacrum Do this +again with medium firmness The person receiving the pressure should focus on how the +normal braced posture of their spine is being bowed in a different direction and thereby +freed from unnecessary rigidity Afterward they should perform ten situps to neutralize +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +any backward tension that has been created Ideally everyone should have this done to +them every night before bed +Cautions to Take with Massage +Several key pieces of advice are essential for practicing compression and percussion safely +Neither technique should ever damage tissue nor should they bruise scrape or even irritate +the skin Avoid using compression on a recent injury broken skin or broken bones +No matter the circumstances medical professionals advise against compressing the +following body parts the eye the inguinal ligament the xiphoid process the trachea the +median nerve near the carpal tunnel junction the sciatic nerve and the coccyx Also never +massage a pulse Many arteries accumulate plaque and massaging them can dislodge that +plaque and cause blood vessel occlusion Additionally avoid pressing or pinching lymph nodes +Certain illnesses can also make massage a risky activity If you have the following health +conditions consult your doctor before receiving or selfadministering massage aneurysm +atherosclerosis cancer congestive heart failure coronary artery disease peritonitis or +polycystic kidney disease Other conditions that are usually contraindicated for massage include +fever cirrhosis pitting edema blood clots deep vein thrombosis embolism fainting +uncontrolled high blood pressure intestinal obstruction lymphangitis myocarditis rheumatoid +arthritis tumors seizures and tuberculosis among others +Getting Results from SelfMassage +Applied properly the pressure of compression and percussion should involve only dull pain +On one hand if the muscle doesnt ache when you press into it you are applying too little +pressure and will not release the stored tension On the other the muscle should never hurt +after you have stopped compressing If it does you have applied too much pressure or found +an area that would best be avoided Although compression feels like it causes pain it would be +more accurate to say that it reveals where pain already exists in your body believe that the +level of discomfort you feel when compressing a tense muscle is proportionate to the +subliminal pain signals that it sends your brain throughout the day +It almost seems unfair that to rid ourselves of pain we must endure it even more intensely +But there is an optimistic perspective on soft tissue release The muscular strain that you +endure today is the product of years or even decades of tension And yet many muscles can +be largely rehabilitated in just a handful of fiveminute sessions After that initial period of +regular massage less than one minute per month can be sufficient to maintain these results +This suggests that every minute of soft tissue release reverses weeks or even months of strain +Additionally keep in mind that if you choose not to release your muscles you are allowing +them to become tenser raising your levels of stress and anxiety and perpetuating chronic pain +and autonomic imbalance +It is vital to appraise soft tissue therapy positively It is invasive in some ways but you +want your body to embrace the sensations that you feel rather than reject them The key is to +selfsoothe and trigger your natural relaxation response To that end it is imperative to use +diaphragmatic breathing Many specialists agree that deep breathing helps the muscle spindles +receive the message to stop contracting +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +There is a wealth of massage instructions and tutorials on the internet Simply Google +how to massage Or if video instruction appeals to you YouTube it also recommend using +other guides on muscle release such as Jill Millers The Role Model and Clair Davies The Trigger +Point Therapy Workbook As a baseline the exercises that follow highlight a few of the areas +that think are essential to compress and percuss +Massage Exercise Compression of the Hand Web +Use one hand to grab and pinch the web of the other hand Firmly squeeze the area +between the thumb and forefinger Spend time becoming acquainted with the tight +painful bundles of muscles and release them with firm compression Repeat with the +other hand Continue to compress your entire hand searching for any achiness or +tenderness +Illustration Hand massage +Massage Exercise Compression of the Foot Arch +Step firmly on a tennis ball pressing the ball into every area of the underside of the foot +Concentrate on the arch but press the ball into the heel and along the ball of your foot as +well You might also try standing on the corner of a stair Also use the tip of your thumb +to press into sore areas After about two minutes you should notice that compressing it +becomes much less painful and that your foot feels limber and pliant You could buy +milliondollar orthopedic shoes and still not get even a fraction of the relief you can attain +from a couple of hours of soft tissue foot massage +illustration Foot Massage +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +Massage Exercise Compression of the Temporalis +The temporalis muscle assists in chewing and covers much of the temporal bone on the +side of the head Use your knuckles to make small circular motions all along the belly of +this large muscle Also try watching TV lying down on one side with your temporal +muscle pressed into a softball Releasing this muscle will reduce the lowgrade perpetual +headache that so many of us carry When you work on massaging the temporaliis it is also +worth compressing the cheekbones jaw and the three auricular muscles surrounding +each ear +Illustration Temporalis massage +Massage Exercise Compression of the Sternocleidomastoid +Use one hand to grab and pinch the sternocleidomastoid as pictured below It helps to +turn the head to one side Firmly squeeze the length of the muscle from the clavicle up to +just below the ear This muscle is a major structural support for the neck and when it is +tight it hunches the head down and forward It also plays a role in clavicular breathing so +releasing it will help soothe your breath +Illustration Sternocleidomastoid massage +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Massage Exercise Compression of the Occipitalis +Apply deep pressure to the occipitalis muscle and the neck muscles directly below it Lie +down and rest your head on a baseball eyebolt or index knobber to compress these +muscles Releasing the occipitalis will help reduce your lowgrade headache and +straighten the back of your neck +Illustration Occipitalis massage +Massage Exercise Compression of the Neck +The front sides and back of the neck contain a dense array of muscles Reach your hand +into the air above your head bend your elbow and press the tip or knuckle of your +thumb into each of the areas of your neck Identify sore spots and concentrate on them +Alternatively use a tool like a squash ball Index Knobber or eyebolt +illustration Neck massage +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +Massage Exercise Compression of the Corrugator Supercilii +Place your elbows on a tabletop or bed to steady your hands Then use the first knuckles +of your thumbs to press firmly into the small muscles under each eyebrow There are +several layers of different muscles here but you will know when you find the corrugator +supercilii because it will be the most painful The feeling of pressing on it directly will +probably take your breath away even with just a few pounds of pressure Consistent +massage will release all that pain +Ae +Illustration Corrugator supercilii massage +The results of even these simple exercises can be profound Lets look at the corrugator +supercilii muscle in Exercise for example It is the muscle that creates the frown which it +does by lowering the eyebrows and pulling them together Scientists regard it as the principal +muscle in the expression of suffering This means that humans primates and other mammals +unconsciously contract their corrugator supercilii muscles when experiencing great pain What +do you think it means for this muscle itself to be stuck in painful partial contraction think it +means that it has come to perpetuate the condition of suffering Realizing this strongly +motivated me to compress mine until they were absolutely painless In total the process took +me about an hour divided into several short sessions spread over a month It was time well +spent as it released my perennial frown and changed my outlook on the world +Below are several other easytouse massage techniques that should help kickstart your +search for soreness and a personal routine Other chapters in this book will specifically address +massage of the face neck and lower back +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Easytouse massage techniques +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +The health benefits of selfmassage are both real and noticeable compression increases +circulation improves joint health relieves muscular injuries shortens recovery time and +reduces muscle fatigue Aesthetically selfmassage can accentuate muscle mass reduce the +deposition of fat improve the appearance of cellulite and contour tone and firm the skin +have released muscles all over and it has helped me feel as though have an entirely new +body am stronger more flexible faster and more graceful Results are cumulative It should +be everyones objective to release every painful muscle in the body Finding them and learning +how to compress them skillfully is a challenge of course and one of the best ways to start +learning is to receive professional massage +The Benefits of Professional Massage +Getting expert help can be the perfect introduction or complement to a selftreatment routine +If the option is available strongly recommend that you invest a significant proportion of your +disposable income for the next few years on deep tissue massage Receiving quality deep tissue +massages will relieve pentup tension in large portions of your body curbing sympathetic +hyperactivity and activating paingate control It has even been shown to reduce depression +and trait anxiety and reduce generalized anxiety disorder symptoms What is more it +temporarily reduces blood pressure and heart rate and stimulates the production of the brain +chemicals involved in pleasure and satisfaction such as endorphins oxytocin and serotonin +Raising the levels of these substances in your brain has recursive beneficial effects on +happiness confidence and outgoingness +had my first massage at age came out of the studio angry convinced that the +masseuse had pressed too firmly on my shoulder By the time got to my car had a bad cramp +in my deltoid that stayed with me for a full week The cramp formed for three reasons +didnt ask the masseuse to reduce the excessive pressure was a fullon thoracic +breather at the time and defensively contracted the muscle into a tight ball as it was being +massaged Massaging a muscle too intensely especially when it is contracted will make the +muscle worse rather than better It is important to remember that unlike in selfmassage +the professional masseuse cannot feel what you experience as they press They need your +active feedback telling them when to press harder and when to press softer +This bad first experience which was my fault dissuaded me from returning Reading about +the scientific benefits of massage five years later persuaded me to give massage another +chance By this time was practicing diaphragmatic breathing which helped me accept rather +than brace against the most intense parts of the massage This second experience made me +a convert +At first the masseuses saw marveled at how tight my muscles were Several voiced +concern for my wellbeing after feeling my neck and shoulders They would say things like +This isnt good are you okay was even told by several masseuses that had the worst +muscle tension they had ever seen But that feedback started to change within the first year +of weekly deep tissue massages By the end of the year each new masseuse worked with +commented that they had never seen anyone able to take such deep pressure It just didnt +hurt anymore and it hasnt since attribute this entirely to the consistent practice of +diaphragmatic breathing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Deep tissue massage should be uncomfortable at times but should not cause excessive pain +or induce protective spasms When a masseuse presses too hard on a trigger point other +trigger points throughout the body will briefly flare up in response Encourage them to press +hard but never to the point where the pain causes you to tense up in other areas such as your +face neck or back To this end concentrate on holding a relaxed corpse pose allowing your +body to go completely limp +Most importantly you will know that the massage is too hard if it makes you breathe +shallowly or brace your diaphragm As mentioned above you should be practicing +diaphragmatic breathing throughout the massage Employing paced breathing is ideal To do +this locate the breath metronome MP audio tracks available from my website upload them +to your phone and play them during the massage you may want to put the track on repeat to +keep your hands free and turn off the screen of your phone to conserve battery life +Diaphragmatic breathing will keep your muscles from fighting against the forced relaxation +This has the added benefit of reducing the extent of soreness afterward +Illustration A Massage of the temporal muscles B Skeletal muscles of the back C Neck massage +Most masseuses whether they realize it or not specialize in treating the muscles of +respiration This is because any muscle of the torso can be seen as a muscle of respiration After +all every one of them either mobilizes or stabilizes breathing motions Remember how we said +that breathing with the muscles surrounding the thorax and clavicles is especially unhealthy +Any decent massage of the neck shoulders or back will release those muscles helping diminish +the strain responsible for thoracic and clavicular breathing Also you will find that during a +relaxing massage your breathing becomes diaphragmatic on its own and that the activity of +your sympathetic stress system plunges Stress and anxiety cannot remain chronic if you give +yourself intermittent restorative breaks in the form of professional massages +Receiving regular professional massages will teach you how a good massage manipulates +muscle making it easier to give yourself or others effective massage later on You will also +quickly learn where on your body the muscles are dormant so that you can compress them +yourself Additionally massage conditions dominant traits such as not flinching or pulling away +when touched relaxing completely around others and being comfortable while in close +physical contact with people you dont know well These traits will add to your overall sense of +ease and confidence in the world around you +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +Massage Activity Visualization During Massage +Every time you get a massage spend some time noticing what the masseuse is doing to +your body Note the tempo the pressure and the locations they focus on Notice what +areas are sore and how they respond to pressure Pay particular attention to the +technique the masseuse uses what body parts they employ and how Visualize what the +masseuse is doing to you and visualize yourself doing the same to your muscles or those +of others Spending time picturing yourself giving the massage will make you a fantastic +masseuse in no time +Due to reductions in chronic tension and an increased blood supply after a highquality deep +tissue massage you will find yourself able to jump higher run faster and bench press more +You will have more energy better endurance and exercising will be more pleasurable To help +capitalize on those improvements strongly recommend exercising before a deep tissue +massage Afterward you want to stretch and exercise the muscles that have been released +but you dont want to overload them You do not want to go to a batting cage lift heavy weights +spar or load up a moving truck Do these things before a deep tissue massage but not after +Most importantly massage will allow you to flex into and exercise within positions that +were previously barricaded You will find that you can contract portions of muscles that were +once completely unavailable They become available because the massage gives them a +temporary blood supply allowing them to flex like healthy active muscle tissue is supposed to +Subsequent chapters will detail how to combine massage with exercise to reopen +musculoskeletal obstructions +recommend trying as many different masseuses as possible Almost any massage is going +to be of value but only a certain percentage of masseuses are worth your time and money +Your goal is to find the masseuses in your vicinity who are best at searching out and pressing +into the aching tense parts of your body This does not necessarily mean paying top dollar The +most helpful massages have received myself were not the most expensive ones The Chinese +acupressure studio in the mall near my home is consistently the best In my experience +traditional Chinese massage has excellent biological validity They know where trigger points +are and how to compress them firmly while slightly varying the location of pressure every few +seconds also stand by Thai massage medical massage sports massage active release +technique osteopathic manipulation myofascial release therapy and trigger point therapy +With a skilled practitioner each of those schools can lead to extremely positive outcomes +Tension Insanity Excitement +Having reviewed the most important ways in which touch can heal lets return to the story that +opened the chapter That was not the only time found my friend in crisis Nor was it the worst +The third time had to take my friend to the hospital was the most dramatic Homeless +again he had spent a few weeks with some mutual friends One of them was another transient +who harried and browbeat him constantly After less than a week of this abuse his speech was +accelerated and the things he said came primarily from resentment and frustration One day +was looking after him along with a woman he was dating We watched his mental state slowly +devolve over just a few hours and by nighttime his behavior was delirious He was pacing and +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +ranting in a state of purposeless volatility In the episode described at the beginning of this +chapter my friend was in a state of catatonic stupor This time his condition was catatonic +excitement commonly cited as one of the most dangerous mental states in psychiatry +Patients in a state of catatonic excitement are completely impulsive and exhibit bizarre +nongoaldirected hyperactivity My friend was storming around restlessly pointing yelling +and making wild accusations raving about a new topic every two sentences It took me +minutes of this to realize that even though he was on his feet and talking he was barely +conscious His nonsensical incoherent ranting seemed inexhaustible He wouldnt let anyone +touch him and started yelling when any of us came near him or made eye contact He +repeatedly jabbed his finger into the chest of a common friend while screaming As soon as he +made a violent physical overture toward his girlfriend quickly but gently used a wrestling +takedown to bring him to the floor knew that using physical force with a person with a mental +health condition is unethical but reacted to protect the others spoke to him in a friendly +authoritative way and massaged him firmly kneaded the muscles along his spine for a half +hour until he started weeping in relief Remarkably our friends were able to talk him into going +back to the place he dreaded the most cant imagine that any intervention other than +massage could have helped him relax enough to make that choice willingly +It was his third admission to a psychiatric hospital in two years After four days there he was +expelled for fighting with other patients spent hours searching streets near the institution +before found him shivering in the rain He was frenzied rambling madly with a swollen lip and a +gash over his eye All his medications had been stolen from him and he was crashing down as +the prescribed drugs cleared from his cerebral circulation Withdrawal from the sedatives and +antipsychotics caused his sympathetic stress system to go berserk realized that no matter what +we did he would seek out and engage the most upsetting aspect of any scenario put us in +So we avoided stimulation checked us into a hotel in a quiet neighborhood and spent +three days with him working hard to remain as calm and as boring as possible To avoid +overstimulating him hid my phone and took the rooms television down to the front desk At +that time he could only fathom what was physically in front of him so because there was no +television in the room he didnt miss it Instead brought a few board games for us to play +spent most of the time trying to be the perfect combination of nondominant and +nonsubmissive He tried to dominate me he tried to act submissive toward me and ignored +these so as not to reinforce either +During that time also practiced many breathing exercises with him He said he liked them +but he was so restless that he could only concentrate on them for a few seconds at a time He +did not have the attention span necessary for paced breathing For this reason every half hour +asked him to take one long slow inhalation and one complete exhalation while blowing on his +finger He said it made him sleepy Calming our anxiety with proper breathing can make us +drowsy but only at first Many people assume that becoming sleepy is an unavoidable part of +relaxation It is not Performing the diaphragmatic breathing exercises in Chapter over several +weeks will prove to you that relaxation sharpens attention in the long run The next chapter will +discuss the biology of how becoming calmer paradoxically makes you more alert After +coaching him to take many steady full breaths in a row took him to get a massage +We went to an pound woman who gave hourlong fullbody massages for at a +storefront on Hollywood boulevard She had to be more gentle than usual because he could +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +barely stand even mild pressure glanced at him and saw him shuddering convulsing in what +took as the ecstasy of the womans touch meeting the agony of his painbody He started +moaning and when she asked whether she should continue his reply was Please A few +minutes later he started sobbing and didnt stop for the remaining minutes The other +people at the parlor didnt even complain about all the noise he was making because they could +tell what he was going through +A couple of hours after his massage he looked bright fresh and reinvigorated His +appearance contrasted starkly with his appearance described at the beginning of this chapter +It was abundantly clear that various chakralike modules were finally given the break they +needed to begin restoration and regeneration This included muscles that were never even +touched by the masseuse His face voice heart diaphragm and gut had the brief respite they +needed to recharge All because his inner animal was given minutes to forget about its +interminable fear of death +Having never had a massage he said it was the best experience of his life and asked when +we could go again Of course his case is an extreme example Most of us dont carry this +amount of trauma or have such deeply rooted pain bodies But massage be it professional or +selfadministered is among our most effective and accessible means of treating both +Spend Time Rubbing and Caressing +Personal grooming or preening is widespread in animals and is a hygienic behavior aimed at +extracting foreign objects from the bodys surface It is done to remove insects ectoparasites +leaves dirt and twigs Social grooming is common in mammals and involves stroking +scratching massaging licking and gentle biting of another animal Even animals such as birds +horses bats lions and insects groom each other Apes and monkeys groom one another daily +and the consequent trust and bonding are critical to group cohesion Grooming plays a role in +establishing alliances is imperative for reconciliation after conflict and is one of the main ways +that primates reduce stress and tension +In humans and other mammals gentle wellmeaning touch stimulates the release of beta +endorphin This natural analgesic attaches to the same brain receptors as morphine heroin +and other drugs derived from the opium poppy Synthetic opioid street drugs increase the +traumatic load on our bodies by leading to extreme withdrawal But increasing the levels of +natural endorphins produced by your brain does not and may be among the healthiest things +you can do It increases overall wellbeing Grooming massaging rubbing cuddling and +caressing all have this effect This is partially responsible for the fact that primates with the +most grooming relationships tend to be healthier on average +Do dominant primates groom a lot or a little What would be your guess In fact they +groom others the most Because the dominant primates usually have the highest circulating +endorphin levels they typically do not need to be groomed to relax but are the most willing to +groom others Most humans do not regularly rub or massage others Do you think that many +people are apprehensive about being affectionate because they are concerned that their +manual skills are not good enough or they worry about the social aspects of the interaction +More than anything they dont want to have their efforts rejected But much of this is a +question of familiarity and repetitionyou cant get good if you dont try A little bit of time +and practice will allow you to pass that apprehensive barrier and feel at ease touching and +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +rubbing other people As with other skills weve discussed you can develop the ability on your +own before perfecting it with others +Massage Exercise Rub and Caress an Inanimate Object +Find a pillow or similar object to rub caress or massage Know that the pillow will not +judge your efforts allowing you to caress it in the most loving way that you are capable +Imagine you are humbly trying to gain experience and work toward caressing a real +person You might pretend to be finger painting a beautiful cursive abstract composition +using a slow soothing cadence Think slow hand not heated rush Alternate between +touching firmly and very tenderly Try to touch the object in the way you want to be +touched and know that you can experiment with new flourishes and rhythms without +someone critiquing you If you do this while practicing paced breathing you will find that +your hands do not hesitatethe indecision and fumbling will be absent quickly making +you into a pro With enough practice your loved ones will never want you to stop +touching them and you will develop a healing hand +When you find the opportunity practice stroking and caressing another person ina +smooth rhythmic and doting way Alternate between using your whole hand and the tips of +your fingers Dont hesitate or pause and try to keep your fingers from skipping along their skin +Rather maintain fluid contact Lightly squeeze their skin between your fingers and tug at it +gently You can rub their entire body alternating between pressing and caressing This kind of +positive physical touch can work wonders for your spouse children or pets +Caress like vibration does not release hypertonic muscles in the same way that +compression or percussion does It undoes tension through relaxation by significantly reducing +conscious bracing However if the person being massaged feels uncomfortable they may +actually brace more like a pet that doesnt want to be picked up Many people cringe and +reject touch due to past physical trauma As the one doing the touching it is your responsibility +to touch them in a way that causes their bracing to subside Affectionate attentive and flowing +movements will do this +Try rubbing or caressing your significant other as you listen to music It can help coordinate +and sensualize your movements Rubbing and massaging the scalp is one of the best ways to +release endorphins One way to approach this is to start by pressing the tip of your thumb +firmly into their upper neck and then the occipital muscles on the back of their head Sensually +depress release and reposition once every two seconds Use your thumb to stroke firmly over +the hair shafts around the nape of the neck making a crackling sound and stimulating the +copious nerve endings in the area Massaging the entire scalp in this way rubbing it +rhythmically with all ten finger pads can be intensely pleasurable Try lying next to your +partner nestling against them and fondling their arms back and shoulders You might lie on +your back and have a significant other lie on top of you stomach to stomach so that you can +rub their neck back bottom and legs with both hands +It is known that in primates the grooming animal enjoys levels of pleasure chemicals that +are comparable to the individual being groomed It is the same in humans Stroking your cat or +dog releases endorphins reduces heart rate and drops blood pressure in the pet as well as in +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +the human doing the petting Without question massaging and caressing someone else is the +most pleasurable stressreducing and bonding activity know of believe that many people +feel unsated because they mistakenly seek this form of satisfaction from kissing and sex which +simply dont provide it One look at the pervasiveness of grooming in primates convinces me +that our bodies are biologically prepared for and expectant of being rubbed and caressed +We are doing ourselves a disservice by not doing it regularly +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Massage techniques +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +Conclusion +Psychologists have long been puzzled by the fact that people who experience windfalls such as +winning the lottery do not stay happy for long Humans tend to return to a stable set point for +subjective wellbeing and life satisfaction within a short period following major positive or +negative life events This phenomenon has been called the hedonic treadmill You can +increase the speed as much as you want on a treadmill but you wont get anywhere In life you +can accumulate as many riches and accolades as you want but it likely wont make you any +happier or more peaceful A good deal of psychological research has been devoted to grappling +with this issue because it seems inherently unsettling If fulfilling our lifelong dreams and +ambitions does not reduce our pain what will +Well massage will Trigger points keep us tethered to the hedonic treadmill Winning the +lottery does nothing to remove years of builtup tension in our bodies However breathing +retraining compression percussion and caressing do precisely that They alleviate pressure +and pain They give us longterm renewable increases in the levels of pleasurecausing +chemicals in our brains They bring us closer to other people and help us learn to be more +comfortable with them physically +You probably know someone in their nineties who has terrible posture They would be spry +and dexterous if only they had enjoyed a monthly deep tissue massage throughout their life +Many people assume that frailty muscle pain and loss of muscle mass are simply inevitable +concomitants of aging They are not They are merely the cumulative toll of continuous tension +To help reverse the effects of longterm muscle strain recommend creating a monthly +budget for deep tissue massage For the first several months spend as much of your +discretionary income on it as possible Then transition into doing it yourself Recruit your +friends family members and partners to practice massage with you Whether you do it +yourself or practice mutual massage with a loved one it is a free way to rapidly increase +your wellbeing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Massage can repair tense painful muscles all over the body It works by forcing partially +contracted muscles into a resting state which allows them to regenerate heal +and receive fresh blood and nutrients +e Pressing firmly into tender achy muscle provides ischemic compression which forces +the blood out of the tissue and then when released increases blood flow +e Muscles that are sore when compressed are the most in need of massage +e All the muscle soreness in your body can and should be removed by massage +e Performed regularly compression will restore proper length and tone to the muscle +increasing its range of motion strength and regenerative capacity as well as reducing +tension and pain +e There are key areas of the body that when massaged can recover providing +tremendous benefits +e Muscle compression is most effective when used with diaphragmatic breathing +e Percussion is another massage modality that involves gently but rapidly striking a +muscle Vibration is a third modality that uses a vibrating electric massage tool +e Massage also improves posture athleticism muscular endurance coordination +flexibility and mobility +e Learning to massage yourself is awkward at first Achieving the ability to do it effectively +may take months but is a skill worth investing time in Getting professional massages +can help the learning process +Grooming in primates is vital to stress reduction social cohesion and wellbeing +You can achieve the same positive outcomes by making time to affectionately massage +rub and caress those closest to you +Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage +Chapter Endnotes +Burrow J P Spurling B C Marwaha R Catatonia In StatPearls StatPearls +Publishing +Braun M B Simonson S J introduction to massage therapy Lippincott +Williams Wilkins +Fridlund A J Human facial expression An evolutionary view Academic Press +Moyer C A Rounds J Hannum J W A Metaanalysis of massage therapy +research Psychological Bulletin +Rapaport MH Schettler P Larson E R Edwards S A Dunlop B W Rakofsky J J +Kinkead B Acute Swedish massage monotherapy successfully remediates symptoms +of generalized anxiety disorder A proofofconcept randomized controlled study The Journal +of Clinical Psychiatry e +Fritz S Mosbys fundamentals of therapeutic massage Elsevier Health Sciences +Weerapong P Hume P A Kolt G S The mechanisms of massage and effects +on performance muscle recovery and injury prevention Sports Medicine +Smuts B Cheney D Seyfarth R Wrangham R Struhsaker T Primate +societies University of Chicago Press +Schino G Scucchi S Maestripieri D Turillazzi PG Allogrooming as a tension +reduction mechanism A behavioral approach American Journal of Primatology +Keverne E B Martensz N D Tuite B Betaendorphin concentrations in +cerebrospinal fluid of monkeys are influenced by grooming relationships +Psychoneuroendocrinology +McConnell P The other end of the leash Why we do what we do around dogs +Ballantine Books +Frederick S Loewenstein G K Hedonic adaptation In D Kahneman E Diener +N Schwarz Eds Wellbeing The foundations of hedonic psychology pp New +Russell Sage Foundation +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Think Peacefully +Never in his brief cave life had he encountered anything of which to be afraid Yet fear was in him It had come +down to him from a remote ancestry through a thousand lives It was a heritage he had received directlythrough +all the generations of wolves that had gone before Fearthat legacy of the Wild which no animal may escape +So the gray cub knew fear though he knew not the stuff of which fear was made Jack London +White Fang +In my twenties would phone my parents every week and they would ask how was doing +would tell them that everything in my life was going fine but that for some reason my stress +was insufferable that was in a state of endless panic and could feel the devastating effect it +was having on my body and mind was taking graduate courses in clinical psychology and was +very familiar with the Western approach to anxiety Reading numerous books and articles gave +me insight into my condition but no relief from it +It wasnt until discovered Eastern and Stoic contemplativemedcitative perspectives on +stress that found a way to start to counteract the damage that my tormented mind was +inflicting on my body think you will find that these perspectives are intertwined with the +content from the preceding chapters and that used together they will help you tame the +unnerving impulses emanating from your brains unconscious fear centers +The Brain Circuits Responsible for Fear +Neuroscientists have identified seven primary emotions common to all mammals care +nurturance play social joy seeking expectation lust sexual excitement rage anger fear +anxiety and grief sadness These emotions correspond to specific subcortical brain circuits +Each is embodied in a mechanistic device made of brain cells that sits below the level of the +conscious cerebral cortex Both the emotions and the brain areas responsible for them are +highly conserved in all mammals and even extend to certain species of birds and reptiles In +their book The Archaeology of Mind pioneering researchers Jaak Panksepp and Lucy Biven +explain how these genetically hardwired emotional systems often referred to collectively as +the limbic system reflect ancestral memories with adaptive functions +Each emotion is an information processing tool builtin to animals rather than having to be +learned by them They each steer the progression of thought in a different direction to ensure +the animal is responding to its environment with the right behaviors The fear and grief circuits +respond to hardship and despite being intrinsic to survival are one of the primary drivers of +psychological pain in mammals At this point you shouldnt be surprised to learn that they are +the emotions most closely tied to status conflict As such they elicit muscle tension and +distressed breathing This chapter will focus on how you can interrupt this elicitation by taking +control of your thought process +In newborn mammals the fear system is only activated by a few things These are +instinctually fearprovoking stimuli and include pain sudden movement falling suffocation +and loud noise Mammals are afraid of these things by nature because they are predictive of +death After experiencing such stimuli fear is generalized to the things that the animal has +found can be associated with them For instance newborn rats are not afraid of their natural +predators such as cats ferrets and foxes However due to their strong instinctual fear of these +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +predators odors they learn to become afraid after being exposed to them In fear learning +experiments rats can easily be trained to become frightened of a variety of neutral contextual +stimuli like Kleenex or sand that were coincidentally present during their exposure to +instinctual fear stimuli For example the smell of a ferret can make a rat deathly afraid of a +toilet paper roll +We too overgeneralize our fears Horror movies are an apt example They are horrible for +our minds because they activate and strengthen our fear circuits They cause us to associate +instinctual fears with all kinds of neutral concepts far beyond the stereotypical hockey players +dolls dark alleys clowns and old houses Do scary movies further sensitize everyones fear +circuit or can some people watch them without repercussions While know its possible to +have such good posture composure and breathing that watching a horror flick desensitizes +you to fear Im certainly not there yet +When scientists surgically place electrodes directly into the brains fear system lateral and +central amygdala anterior medial hypothalamus and periaqueductal gray and stimulate it +electrically this incites an ominous objectless fear making the animal afraid of everything it +encounters Animals freeze at low levels of current and take precipitous flight at higher levels +When the same areas are stimulated in humans they make comments such as Im scared to +death Somebody is now chasing me am trying to escape from him and feel an abrupt +feeling of uncertainty just like entering a long dark tunnel +Repeated stimulation of the fear center whether through experiences or electrodes cause +rats to become constitutionally inhibited skittish and timid These rats engage less in play +feeding sex and grooming Repetitive activation of the fear circuit is a surefire pathway to +social defeat When the fear system is activated every nuance of your body language tells a +potential predator that you are unstable and will make an easy lunch The same body language +tells potential competitors that they have the advantage over you Clearly the fear system can +be insidious and you dont want its neural connections to strengthen or spread +The Brain Circuits Responsible for Grief +The grief system is separate from the fear system Just as the predation and aggression systems +are dissociable as discussed in Chapter grief and fear involve distinct neural pathways They +even use different chemicals and respond differently to drugs Electrical stimulation of brain +regions containing grief circuitry shifts people into a state of desolation and despair that lifts +rapidly when the current is turned off The general anatomy of the human grief system +anterior cingulate dorsomedial thalamus and periaqueductal gray overlaps extensively with +the system responsible for separation calls in other animals +Baby mammals and birds emit distress vocalizations when separated from their mothers +These are reflexive cries generated by the activation of their grief system made to help their +mother locate them in space We usually subdue the impulse to cry out but much of our +psychological pain involves the arousal of these same areas Can you find the lost baby animal +inside of you now Can you feel the stress of the last week and how it puts pressure on your +voice box as if you wanted to cry out and be rescued Baby animals stop crying out and their +grief system shuts down as soon as their mother finds them Our grief system can remain +operative for years at a time Of course this leads to repetitive strain of the vocal tract which +Chapter will show you how to overcome +Chapter Think Peacefully +When baby monkeys are separated from their mothers for even just a few hours they +experience grief that can affect them for the rest of their lives Some primatologists force these +separations in adverse rearing experiments so that they can study the factors involved in risk +and resilience to mental illnesses such as anxiety Monkeys that have been separated from their +mothers repeatedly develop chronic despair As adults they tend to have fewer social alliances +less social support fewer grooming partners impaired social skills and reduced social +competence They are poor at finding sexual partners make deficient parents and are less +affiliative and more aggressive toward their peers They are also consistently more subordinate +and inhabit rungs lower in the social hierarchy These things are also often true of monkeys +that have been neglected abused or orphaned Allowing ourselves to wallow in a state of grief +loneliness or discontentedness results in the same outcomes +The emotions of fear and grief intend to keep us safe and from finding ourselves isolated +In most people however their signals are too intense and have stayed on for too long +Unchecked fear and grief maintain a negative state of mind that cripples us socially and +mutilates our reality We need to convince the baby mammal in the center of our brains that +we are not desperately trying to find our mother that we are not lost that we are not missing +anything or anyone and that we are exactly where we are supposed to be +SORE +Illustration A Guinea pig brain crosssection B Human brain crosssection Both illustrations show the fear +system amygdala AM hypothalamus H and periaqueductal gray PAG and grief system anterior cingulate +AC dorsomedial thalamus DMT and periaqueductal gray PAG Note that even though these two brains are +not shown to scale the relative size of the emotional areas is smaller in humans and this reflects our capacity for +deliberate emotional regulation +Common to both the brains fear and grief systems is a panic center called the amygdala +This structure is tied to the sympathetic nervous system and acts to elevate muscle tension +blood pressure stress hormones and heart and respiration rates The amygdala ensures that +threatened animals respond to negative situations with energy Its messages about fear +override ongoing processing elsewhere in the brain and cause us to refocus our attention on +threat Many of our most negative behaviors occur when this subcortical nucleus assumes +control over the brains higher cognitive centers in what is commonly referred to as an +amygdala highjack +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Like the fear and grief systems that it potentiates the amygdala is always active It is +constantly running its information processing algorithms though usually at a low level Brain +scans show that the amygdalas activity level rises when we feel threatened It is more active +at rest in people with anxiety or depressive disorders and less active in those who report being +happy and well adjusted We can never be certain what will set it off and we often are not +even aware when it has been activated for more on the amygdala see Chapter +The amygdala and by extension the fear and grief systems work on the smoke detector +principle Just like smoke detectors they are calibrated to be so sensitive that they are liable to +go off by accident They are set this way because a few false alarms are tolerable if it ensures +that we can recognize real peril when it arises In terms of reproductive success it is better to +overreact to a nonthreat than to underreact to a true threat This is a reasonable +predisposition for wild animals but an irrational one for modern humans Today we tolerate +constant false alarms of the fear and grief systems even though we are rarely confronted by +physical threats This vestigial hairtrigger mechanism is the reason we are predisposed to +negative thinking +The Negativity Bias Fear Grief and Default Mode +What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow +our life is the creation of our mind Buddha c BCE BCE +Humans are a special type of biological survival machine Unlike viruses bacteria protists +fungi plants and most animals we think We are capable of simulating environmental +situations so that we can predict the probable outcomes of our actions We use these +simulations to learn about and make sense of the events around us In a perfect world these +models would always be cheerful and productive Unfortunately our brains threat centers +influence us to model negative things so that we can respond appropriately when negative +scenarios arise This tendency to focus on the bad is often referred to as the negativity bias +The negativity bias makes us more likely to focus on a negative piece of information such as +a criticism than a positive one such as a compliment It results in superstitious nonreflective +fretting that rarely leads to insight or progress Also negative thoughts can be triggered rapidly +but tend to linger for long periods This is probably related to the poor rebound effect for +diaphragmatic breathing in which a minor threat can force a mammal to breathe shallowly +within a single second after which it takes several minutes for the breathing to return +to normal +Lamentably rosy glasses dont contribute to reproductive success in most ecological +scenarios Further animals that dont worry have poor survival outcomes Studies that look at +fish mice or primates that are bred or experimentally altered to become fearless show that +these animals are great at acquiring resources but are the first to be eaten On the other +hand the most anxious animals avoid predators and stay safe However they are not very +productive or reproductive because they are constantly hiding and cowering So it was good +for our ancestors to be somewhere between fearful and fearless But what about today +What about you Would you benefit from being fearless +Chapter Think Peacefully +For thousands of millennia our forebears were hunted mauled and devoured by +monsters These included sabertoothed cats cave lions cave hyenas dire wolves shortfaced +bears fivemeterlong snakes giant lizards and towering flightless terror birds However +anatomically modern humans employing expertly fashioned spears clubs axes and knives +were able to turn the tables For the last thousand years we systematically drove these +giant beasts of prey to extinction We killed off many of these Cenozoic megafauna for food +In so doing we made nearly the entire surface of Earth free from predators In the last +thousand years humans have replaced brutal disputes with courtroom judgments and every +man for himself with legal rights Compared to our ancestors we should feel invulnerable +Our world is far safer now Our genes and brains just dont know it yet +Humans today have virtually no natural predators We fight among each other less than +ever before and cannibalism is finally out of fashion but our brains fear and grief systems are +still fully operational The human brain is the pinnacle of evolution on Earth and the most +complex object in the known galaxy yet it is routinely preoccupied with unsubstantiated fear +vindictive anger regret victimization resentment and status anxiety When you experience +these emotions thank your brain for trying to protect you but know that they are vestiges from +a treacherous anarchic past Anxiety involves a tradeoff The table below lists several similar +tradeoffs discussed in this book +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Common +Behaviors +Implications for Hunter +Gatherers +Implications for Modern +People +Chronic Stress +Caution and apprehension of +danger Motivation to struggle +fight and survive +Unhealthy bodily effects +Unnecessary psychological +discomfort and woe +Anxiety +Enhanced awareness of +potentially fatal threats +Exaggerated fear responses to +nonfatal threats +Depression +Accepting the dominance of other +Loss of confidence drive and +protection +Defeat group members ambition +Submissive Pacifying those who might harm Generating superfluous tension +Behavior you Deescalating conflict trauma and heartache +Dominating Elevating yourself in the social Putting others down and making +Behavior hierarchy them angry +Anger Aggression Healthy selfpromotion and Negative interactions and social +isolation +Competitiveness +Drive to attain food and mates at +the expense of others +Competition with friends and +coworkers is unnecessary and +divisive +Defensiveness +Selfprotection and healthy +suspicion of others +Unnecessarily high paranoia or +fear of others intentions +impulsivity +Drive to quickly attain food and +other resources +Diminished capacity for patience +discipline and goal setting +Addictiveness +Quick to repeat behaviors that +have positive outcomes +Quick to become addicted to +drugs alcohol etc +Table Behavior that was adaptive in our ancestral past is now maladaptive +Our proclivity for chaotic and destructive thinking is largely involuntary This is because +in most people the brains fear and grief centers have been recruited to be an integral part of +the default mode network When we think about unfavorable social scenarios while under +sympathetic upregulation day after day we deeply etch the threat centers into our wiring +This makes it so that antagonistic conflict runs on autopilot The default mode network is active +during selfreferential thought but is turned off whenever our attention turns to a task or +distraction For many of us the only time we have a reprieve from negative thoughts is when +a diversion such as the television or social media drowns out our inner voice +Chapter Think Peacefully +Many individuals with severe PTSD extrovert only when they talk about their trauma +They may be reticent and withdrawn most of the time but come alive when relating stories +about being accosted bombed in a rice paddy or abused as a child too used to only become +lively when spoke about the bad things that happened to me would pick the most negative +topic possible and use it to whip myself into a frenzy This made most of my conversations with +friends interactions that are supposed to be uplifting incredibly draining My tendency to talk +about unsettling events was reinforcing my social anxiety Next time you are with a friend try +not talking about anything irksome or disagreeable and watch how cool it helps you become +Many of us define ourselves in terms of how tough or unique our problems are This is due +to our inherited tendency to become addicted to trauma During fearful episodes the brain +secretes opioid chemicals that temporarily alleviate the sensation of pain This fearinduced +analgesia is the reason why some of us are paradoxically addicted to fear We find it thrilling +This is why we can become addicted to scary movies or to focusing on negative events It is like +an animal in a cage that engages in selfinjurious behavior just to stay stimulated Almost all +monkeys caged alone develop selfbiting selfslapping and headbanging tendencies Analyze +the perverse gratification you get from thinking and talking about negative things Isnt this +something you could live without +Thinking Activity imagine Not Talking About Stress +Analyze your tendency to talk and think unconstructively about things that incite strong +negative emotions What if you cut this out completely Imagine not telling others about +anything negative traumatic or fearinducing ever again Imagine never griping criticizing or +discussing situations in which you feel you have been wronged Imagine never talking about +anything related to your misfortune mistreatment or your ego being bruised Imagine not +dragging yourself and others down with stories about hostile interpersonal interactions +Could you do it How might this change you +Hopefully you can see how these types of conversations are draining you Try going for a +whole month without talking about anything stressful By the end of the month just see +whether you have more positive energy +Confiding in others in a relaxed supportive environment can be highly therapeutic +However inundating others with negativity just winds us up further Mulling over upsetting +scenarios rather than desensitizing you usually just sensitizes you to them further Let us +differentiate between what sensitizes us and desensitizes us +Be Nonjudgmental Nonresistant and Nonattached +Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny for what could more aptly fit your needs +Marcus Aurelius +It is possible to prune the fear and grief centers from your brains default network By +intentionally reframing our experiences we can remodel the existing biological connections and +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +reprogram our thinking Even the simplest popular notions about managing negative thinking +can be applicable Use these its not that bad mistakes make me better dont fight +reality everything is temporary this too will pass lets find the silver lining everything +happens for a reason I learn from my mistakes time heals all wounds or never mind +Reframing bad experiences solders resilience into our brains circuitry and cuts out the +elements that do not serve us +The following are three especially powerful perspectives that come straight from Eastern +philosophy that have helped me reframe my circumstances and rewire my worldview +nonjudgment nonresistance and nonattachment +wa wa +Thinking Activity Nonjudgment Nonresistance Nonattachment +Spend five minutes imagining what it would be like to completely embrace the following +perspectives +Nonjudgment You are nonjudgmental when you make a conscious choice not to +criticize Most people judge everything that they come across This is immature +Instead of judging something dispassionately recognize it for what it is and move on +without stamping it with your approval or rejection You can suspend your judgment +on everything from nuisances to catastrophes +Nonresistance Always accept what is going on at present as if you have chosen it +Nonresistance is choosing to accept the things you cannot change We are constantly +resisting Not only is this often futile it is also extremely disheartening Give yourself +a break from opposing your environment and let things take their natural course +This is not resignation or inaction We cant fix everything at once so it is best to learn +to coexist with the things that are bothering us as we consider the best ways to rectify +them Accept everything that happens Stoic philosophers called this the art of +acquiescence Nietzsche called this amor fati a love for all that fate unfolds +So Ive been asking you to become nonsubmissive but am also asking you to fully +surrender to everything you cannot change +Nonattachment We all have unhealthy emotional attachments to things that we can +easily lose These attachments set us up for disappointment and emotional pain when +we do lose them Even if we dont lose them we live in fear of losing them Imagine +what it would be like never to fear loss Imagine losing everything that you love and +yet still being at peace Relinquish property friends family past achievements +and every form of physical possession Imagine giving up these things and yet still +being happy If you are afraid of losing something you are insecurely attached to it +and can never truly love it True joy only comes from things or aspects of things +that can never be taken away +These three perspectives are very powerful because they force us to reanalyze our +predicaments from a viewpoint inconsistent with ego status or defeat This is why they are +also incompatible with distressed breathing and persistent muscle tension Due to our +experiencedependent neuroplasticity mental states become mental traits Thus using these +Chapter Think Peacefully +concepts to reconceptualize your world will weaken the influence of fear and grief and +hardwire your brain for peace +Meditate to Calm the Mind +Would you have a great empire Rule over yourself Publilius Syrus BCE BCE +The next few sections discuss meditation and meditative techniques you can use to ease your +mind and body Meditation is an internal effort to selfregulate the mind During meditation +sessions participants sustain attention toward breathing bodily sensations emotions and +thoughts When they find their attention has wandered into phobias and compulsions they are +supposed to acknowledge this and then let go of them to refocus on the breath or empty the +mind Calm inaction and desireless patience result in the domestication of the brains +barbarian emotional systems Repeated failures in the first several sessions are lessons in +humility and patience Adopting a consistent meditative practice will lead you to develop +selfmastery of thoughtthe most real and lasting power +Illustration A Meditator B Rabid dog C Blood sucking leech D Smoke detector +Siddhartha Gautama also known as the Buddha spent six years meditating on his suffering +in an attempt to understand peace He finally concluded that suffering is not caused by either +misfortune or divine punishment but rather by thought patterns This led him to teach others +that suffering derives from craving and dissatisfaction and that the only way to stop suffering is +to stop wanting more and to stop wanting to impress others Complete control of the mind is +known in Buddhism and Hinduism as nirvana The literal translation of nirvana is extinguishing +the fire the fire of worry yearning and longing Nirvana is also defined as serenity salvation +heaven or an indestructible sense of wellbeing in which ego hatred and greed have been +overcome Many spiritual masters think of nirvana and true enlightenment to be the end of +emotional suffering believe it is attainable for everyone +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Meditate by Watching the Thinker +There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so Shakespeare +f you dont like something change it If you cant change it change your attitude Maya Angelou +We feel like we control our stream of thought but we dont Most of our thinking is directed by +reflexlike impulses beyond our supervision Trying to control the parade of associations is +much like trying to control a dream Our desires and discouragements are endless because they +dont stem from our objective reality but the state of our default network We ruminate about +negative circumstances in a pitiful and inefficacious attempt to change individual thoughts +about them for the better but instead we must change our overall thinking pattern To start +this process observe your thoughts as if you were an outsider +Thinking Activity Watching the Thinker +Spend five minutes seeing thoughts as what they are opinions Identify negative +considerations as worries and let them go without elaborating on them Ask yourself +wonder why had that last thought Then ask yourself Il wonder where my thought +will turn to next Never be afraid of what your next thought will be and rest secure in +the assumption that it will not have the power to cut short your next long deep +smooth inhalation +Dwelling on problems without a constructive intention to amend them is selfpunishment +Recognize that rumination about your perceived station in the status hierarchy may feel like +an objective observation but that is usually a distortion of reality Question the legitimacy of +your irrational and selfcritical thoughts Dont take them seriously Smile at the voice in your +head as you would at the antics of a child Disidentify with it +In life bad things are inevitable Just dont absorb them Dont hold them in your face +stomach or heart Let the pain pass right through you Just because it would upset others or +would have upset you in the past doesnt mean you should let it upset you now Ask yourself +Do hold my amygdalas panic button out for the world to press Ask yourself honestly +whether you want to be a victim of your lifes events or a prisoner in your mind If you think +that weeping or throwing a tantrum over misfortune is ineffectual realize that internal +suffering is too +When someone honks at us our heart rate rises After an argument we have a headache +When we are mistreated we cant sleep When someone challenges us our jaw contracts and +our stomach churns What do all these things have in common Mental perseveration We cant +stop thinking about unpleasant encounters By continuing to mull over these incidents you +maintain the tension But if you bar yourself from searching for justifications to launch a +counterattack you can return to homeostasis in seconds +Our struggle with peer politics is Kafkaesque in the sense that it is at once mundane +senseless inescapable and unresolvable We keep struggling with the ramifications of the +pecking order even though finding some semblance of control of it is impossible There is no +Chapter Think Peacefully +solace or understanding to be reached in perseverating on it Just because they say it doesnt +mean its true Not responding is not a loss Getting the last word is meaningless Thinking +about just how wrong what that person did is will not change anything +When you find yourself engaged in negative thinking imagine yourself dropping it like it +is a scalding item that you dont want to be burned by or placing it on the ground like a +heavy box of rotten food Either way walk away from it like the unnecessary burden that it is +Pain isnt optional but holding on to pain is When you simulate negative scenarios in your +mind your brain and body operate as if what you are imagining is really occurring You tense up +and carry the fight around with you But if you can think of taking such misfortunes +philosophically without suffering you can protect your chakralike modules from +unnecessary strain +Meditate Mindfully +Who sees all beings in his own self and his own self in all beings loses fear When a sage sees this great unity +and his self has become all things what delusion and what sorrow can ever be near him Upanishads +Breathe Let go And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure +Oprah Winfrey +Mindfulness is a meditative practice that has grown out of the Buddhist tradition A person who +is meditating mindfully attempts to become aware of their surroundings thoughts and actions +without being critical For beginners to achieve a state of mindfulness they must concentrate +on ruling out all distractions and focus on being present in their current experience Someone +familiar with this practice can remain in a state of mindfulness throughout most daily activities +think of all the activities and exercises in this book as meditative practices that are best done +mindfully +Medical researcher and author Jon KabatZinn helped popularize the modern mindfulness +movement KabatZinn has influenced many medical treatment centers around the world to +use mindfulness meditation to help their patients counteract psychological stress pain and +illness He conceptualizes mindfulness as a state in which one is aware of and focused on the +reality of the present moment accepting and acknowledging it without being frustrated by +thoughts about or emotional reactions to it One of the key elements involved in achieving +mindfulness is to reside in the now in choiceless awareness Nonjudgment nonresistance +and nonattachment are fundamental to living mindfully +Thinking Activity Living in the Present Moment +Spend a few minutes immersed in the here and now simply experiencing your senses +Allow yourself to live entirely in the moment as if you have chosen it and everything about it +Notice when you find yourself worrying about the future or regretting the past When your +mind wanders toward misgivings or social stressors just redirect it back to your present +experience what you are seeing hearing and feeling right now Dont even anticipate future +moments be content in the one that you are in presently This present instant is the only +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +time that you will ever have for peace Keep reminding yourself to already be whole content +and happy within it +As we discussed in Exercise notice the pain you feel within your body in the present +moment Acknowledge its intensity and location nonjudgmentally and with nonresistance +Dont let the discomfort make you irritated with the present or push you out of the present +Next try to find pleasure in the present moment It is there Start training your mind to +notice the faint impressions of pleasure so that you can develop the capacity to dwell +within them +In therapeutic settings mindfulness has been shown to alleviate stress and accentuate self +efficacy and confidence Consistent mindfulness has even been shown to increase gray matter +in brain areas involved in subduing emotions including those that inhibit the amygdala Peer +reviewed articles published in a wide variety of established scientific journals have yielded data +evincing that mindfulness techniques have demonstrated substantial clinical benefits for +individuals suffering from a variety of mental and physical disorders Meditation training is used +to palliate anxiety fibromyalgia chronic pain cardiovascular disease addiction bipolar +disorder insomnia intractable depression and many others For these reasons substantial +US federal funding has been used to produce mindfulness programs and workshops in schools +prisons hospitals military bases and veterans centers +Thinking Activity What Would You Like to Think About +We are free to think about whatever we want to We only have to realize this freedom What +would you like to do with your thoughts and inner voice For the next two minutes turn your +thought to whatever you choose Dont concern yourself with worrisome inane things and +dont allow your past thoughts and default network to determine where your mind goes +next When you know you have made a contentious or unproductive association cut the +chain Go back to the last branch and pick up where you left off Take responsibility to +censure edit and rewrite the endless string of associations How can you use your thought +constructively What are some positive questions you can address Imagine what you are +going to do tomorrow to make your day more productive Continually ask yourself the +magic question How can make this better +Living in the moment is what dominant mammals do They are not bothered by past +failures or worries about the future They are not concerned that things will suddenly go wrong +They believe that they have what it takes to handle any situation or confrontation They trust +that their instincts and first reactions will solve any problem The winners mindset is +meditative in this sense As a winner approach everything in your life confidently as if you +intend to succeed before you even start +Chapter Think Peacefully +Anxiety Increases Mental Focus but Only in the Short Term +When you relax you lose a degree of mental speed and intensity This is because during stress +brain chemicals such as dopamine noradrenaline and cortisol accelerate the brains processing +speed On the order of seconds to minutes they can improve performance on a variety of +mental tasks Everyone knows this implicitly and many people are afraid to relax because +they dont want a lapse in their processing ability However on longer periods from hours to +months these same chemicals wreak havoc on mental function When stress hormone levels +remain high for several days the brain starts to remodel its architecture compromising +concentration learning and memory +As we have discussed the most potent source of stress for primates is social conflict +Mammals that are socially stressed release stress hormones that preside over a host of +negative neurobiological alterations The birth of new neurons neurogenesis is suppressed +connections between neurons dendrites atrophy neural learning synaptic plasticity is +impaired and cell death apoptosis increases As illustrated in the figure below the brain +cells of socially defeated mammals show significant deterioration +Illustration A The neuron on top is a normal neuron from a tree shrew It has expansive connections to other +neurons B The neuron on the bottom comes from a tree shrew that has been exposed to days of domination +by a member of its species The reduction in dendritic branching is quite apparent These changes can be reversed +if this shrews stress hormone levels are reduced +Two of the most pivotal brain areas for highlevel thought the prefrontal cortex and +the hippocampus are damaged the most in humans and other mammals by the stress hormone +cortisol Stress is physically destructive to the brain cells in these areas The damage reduces +learning ability problem solving creativity impulse control and long and shortterm +memory Like muscle cells brain cells perform well under acute stress but falter under +chronic stress +Anxiety and nervousness create a distracting form of mental noise People with anxiety +disorders exhibit slower reaction times in complex cognitive tasks which is thought to derive +from noise in the individuals information processing stream Stress causes attentional deficits +and instability in basic cognitive operations When you meditate try to quiet this mental noise +with proper breathing zero reactivity and nonjudgmental awareness of the pressure on your +mind to keep switching between neurotic thoughts and impulses +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Contrasting with the cell damage done to higherorder processing areas brain cells in the +amygdala and the brains fear centers are strengthened by cortisol and chronic stress This +heightens fear learning and intensifies fearful memories have written articles about how +these detrimental brain changes may be adaptive for wild mammals allowing them to switch +from a controlledattentive processing strategy to an automaticpreattentive one Becoming +disinhibited impulsive and opportunistic in an adverse prehistoric setting may have been +adaptive In modern times however the cognitive repercussions of excessive stress not only +decrease our quality of life but also impair our ability to function professionally +Mental Relaxation Leads to Mental Clarity in the Long Term +After years of stress my mind was always racing could tell that my thoughts were +fragmented became all too aware that chronic stress was causing not only problems at work +and in my relationships but also mental illness My working memory declined steeply and +began to experience perceptual aberrations It got so bad that even experienced minor +auditory hallucinations You can read more about these experiences on my blog +felt that being on constant high alert was protecting me but it was maiming me As you +allow yourself to relax you may feel in your gut that you are not vigilant enough or notice that +your response times are delayed For years was afraid of becoming too calm was worried +that wouldnt jump to the right conclusion or be able to talk fast enough to communicate +properly could tell that using adrenaline spikes helped me find words speak quickly and put +together complex sentences was afraid that being calm would make people think was dim +witted or discourteous One of the biggest steps toward becoming stressfree was realizing that +dont need fevered anxiety to keep me alert or friendly +Thinking Exercise Falling Asleep Among Friends +Take an extreme example of relaxation sleepiness Most of us dont allow ourselves to be +sleepy around others was so socially hypervigilant that was completely unable to fall +asleep or even become drowsy even in the company of friends If you work on being able to +feel tired or even fall asleep right in front of other people you will reduce your social +hypervigilance The next time you are among friends or family try to nod off It proves to +others that you are not afraid of them or what they might do to you once you are +unconscious It demonstrates to them that you see them as allies and that you wouldnt +attack them if they fell asleep Most importantly it proves to your biological system that +completely lowering your guard among friends is not taking a risk +When cortisol levels lower for weeks or months the cerebral cortex exhibits a remarkable +capacity for healing Many of the cellular changes of stress that compromise intelligence +reverse completely Mammals in lowstress conditions produce large amounts of beneficial +neurochemicals and brain growth factors The absence of stressors stimulates neural stem cell +proliferation in the learning areas of the brain As you know from Chapter the relaxation +response which can be induced by meditation and breathing practices is characterized by a +distinct gene transcription profile This means that relaxation results in the expression of an +Chapter Think Peacefully +entirely different set of genes designed to build the mind and body up as opposed to tearing +it down +When you start operating without stress you will feel dull for a few days However +after a few weeks and months of living at this calmer level you will find yourself regaining mental +aptitude feel my memory and attention are better than they have been in over a decade +attribute this to meditation mindfulness and once again to diaphragmatic retraining +Diaphragmatic Breathing and Unbracing the Mind +if a mans mind becomes pure his surroundings will also become pure Buddha c BCE BCE +Judging resisting attaching and craving make us tense and cause us to breathe shallowly +Shallow breathing and muscle tension are preparatory Because they keep us on guard for +negative occurrences we cant help but think negative thoughts When you start breathing +diaphragmatically you are sending your body a signal that nothing bad can happen +Diaphragmatic breathing allows us to coexist with our thoughts peacefully and it is the most +reliable way to find rest in the present moment Many clinical researchers agree that breathing +diaphragmatically fills the mind with unprovocative content It disconnects you from the fear +grief and startle systems of the brain that seek out desperate lastditch tactics +Diaphragmatic breathing is a core component of most meditative practices especially +mindfulness Mindfulness practitioners notice the sensations arising from the stomach and +chest and listen to the sound of the air as it passes through the nostrils Focus is placed on +taking longer steadier breaths and on the abdamens movement to ensure that the diaphragm +is engaged To this end practitioners often think about the word rising when breathing in and +the word falling when breathing out Some visualize inhaling positivity and exhaling +negativity To promote belly breathing they also imagine that the air they breathe enters the +navel fills the stomach and then exits the navel If one becomes distracted from the breath +they acknowledge this nonjudgmentally and return to focused breathing Mindfulness is also +commonly combined with progressive relaxation and episodes of scanning the body for the +tension we experienced in Chapter +Being aware of your breath forces you into the present momentthe key to all inner transformation Whenever +you are conscious of the breath you are absolutely present You may also notice that you cannot think and be +aware of your breathing Conscious breathing stops your mind But far from being in a trance or half asleep you +are fully awake and highly alert You are not falling below thinking but rising above it Eckhart Tolle b +The quote above reaffirms the thinking of many spiritual leaders They know that breath +awareness helps us refrain from gasping and shallow breathing However mere breath +awareness is not enough to shift you into a parasympathetic state Paced breathing is much +more effective in this regard Paced breathing allows you to permanently lengthen deepen +and smoothen your breath which does much more to rectify your thought patterns Moreover +once the functioning of your diaphragm is improved you dont have to worry about staying +aware of your breathing or constantly living in the now Diaphragmatic retraining makes it so +that you dont have to hide from the past or future or retreat to the present moment just to +stop negative thinking +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Before started paced breathing my internal monologue was full of argumentation often +could not stop myself from playing out the most dismaying and socially awkward events in my +head constantly fought people in my mind saying spiteful things that would never say in real +life would practice ridiculing people that had wronged me in an attempt to provoke an +altercation was trying to finetune my angry personality to be convincing quickwitted and +sharptongued was practicing hate +This had been going on for years but it ended very abruptly Only one month after started +paced breathing with a breath metronome my inner speech lost its violent negativity no +longer had any hot buttons for people to press and felt nothing that anyone could say could +make me lose my cool Years of meditation breath awareness and living in the present +moment led to modest gains My entire ethos was transformed by only a single month of paced +breathing minutes a day +Sustained Firing and Reconsolidation +When a thought shortens your breath it is given priority Upsetting thoughts stimulate the +release of the brain chemical dopamine Dopamine then amplifies the thoughts vexing aspects +by causing the neurons involved to fire for longer periods This extended cellular activity is a +phenomenon in neuroscience known as sustained firing Thus dopamine makes sure that the +subjects we deem important either because they are rewarding or punishing are kept active in +mind longer Whether you are excited about something going well or worried about it going +wrong dopamine causes the emotional elements of the situation to be retained in the stream +of thought Because the relevant brain cells keep firing you cant help but think about those +elements for a while +The thoughts that upset us are lasting due to our neurochemistry However when you +dont allow upsetting thoughts to decrease the length of your breath as when paced +breathing the startle doesnt happen the dopamine doesnt surge and the activity of the +neurons that code for the upsetting aspects of the thought is not sustained The thought enters +and then quickly exits the mind without feeling compelling Any time you recognize a disturbing +thought forming focus on prolonging the breath and eliminating the discontinuities This will +negate the thought and make it and others like it less likely to revisit you in the future Lucky +for us this wont diminish dopamines response to positive thoughts which works via a +different mechanism +When you practice paced breathing pay attention to your train of thought and notice how +your mind refuses to cling to worry An alarming idea that would usually capture your attention +now seems inconsequential This will permanently alter how you feel about that topic by +physically changing its memory trace in the brain Consolidation is the name for the complex +brain processes responsible for turning a fleeting experience into a longterm memory +Reconsolidation is the name for the reevaluative process that occurs whenever a memory is +recalled Emotional reconsolidation happens each time something is remembered and it can +be either positive or negative +Psychotherapists coax patients into remembering and talking about their past traumas +trying to get the patient to reprocess the memory in a better light reconsolidating it in a way +that is not as troublesome When one speaks to a friendly therapist seated in a comfortable +Chapter Think Peacefully +chair that safe environment reframes the traumatic memory Similarly every memory you +recall during a paced breathing episode will be retrieved in a more relaxed affective context +Memories that are normally retrieved under sympathetic dominance are now being retrieved +and reconsolidated under parasympathetic dominance systematically desensitizing you This is +how paced breathing rewires the default mode network deflates fear and grief and +reconstructs personhood +Prolonged Diaphragmatic Breathing Reconsolidates Traumatic Memories +recommend that you try engaging in paced diaphragmatic breathing for two full hours It will +heighten parasympathetic activity placing you into a peaceful mental and physiological state +Every thought you have in this state will be reframed and reconsolidated as harmless After my +first hour of uninterrupted paced breathing with a metronome could tell everything my mind +turned to was cleansed with peace +You may find some psychological roadblocks Many people start to panic when their senses +tell them that they are too calm However if you keep breathing to the metronome you will +pass through these blockages The first time set out to do this my mind unconsciously and +vividly recalled three of the most traumatic incidents of my life within the first hour One was a +disagreement with a group of friends one was a time of personal embarrassment and one was +a situation that led to a violent attack These memories made me desperately want to switch +back to distressed breathing +It was almost as if my brain was saying Jared you are calmer than you have been in years +right now Is it safe to be this calm Remember these terrifying circumstances that upregulated +your cardiovascular stress system Is there a good reason to relax in the face of these past +challenges How do you you know these threats will not recur tried to reassure my body +that it was okay to sink below these arousing scenarios All had to do was keep breathing to +the metronome Those three harrowing incidents never bothered me again +Thinking Exercise Prolonged Diaphragmatic Breathing +Perform two hours of paced breathing guided by your breath metronome Set your breath +metronome at a moderate interval that will be easy to maintain for two hours You might +want to start with or use or Because you will be performing this for two +hours you do not need to inhale or exhale completely just make sure that you are taking +relatively deep breaths Monitor your body and mind as you achieve a new level of alertness +and relaxation +The first few times do this while lying down sitting or relaxing Later try it while stretching +reading or even while watching a movie You might perform this prolonged paced breathing +session in an area that would otherwise cause stress such as an empty auditorium where you +plan to give a speech or in your dining room where you plan to entertain guests Pair it with +anything you want to calm your bodys response to including fear foreboding pain nausea +loathing or as we will discuss in Chapter hunger +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +You might want to combine extended diaphragmatic breathing with a venting session +You could do this during psychotherapy during a talk with a friend or in writing The subjective +intensity of negative emotions diminishes when feelings are put into words and studies show +that there is something highly therapeutic about putting these words on paper Writing about +past hardships has demonstrated powerful clinical benefits It is called writing exposure +therapy The emotional sting is thought to be extracted when a person reconsolidates and +recontextualizes negative memories in this way You should find that writing or speaking +about past adversity while paced breathing brings resolution and finality to lingering woes +Thinking Exercise Writing Therapy +Spend minutes writing about past difficulties These can be the most traumatic incidents +in your life or just ongoing frustrations Express your deepest feelings about your fears griefs +guilts insecurities and any other malignancies subverting your thought Confront the +vexations headon eye to eye by describing them in detail You might also write about how +these issues make you feel how they have affected you in the past and how you plan to +address them in the future +Dont worry about grammar or sentence structure You can save your work but you dont +have to if you dont want to Just write for the entire minutes while paced breathing If +you dont have time to write have this conversation verbally with yourself Speak to yourself +authentically and compassionately with the focus on consoling your fear and grief systems +Negotiate armistice and find closure using paced breathing as your impartial arbitrator +Conclusion +The mind is the master controller of an intricate multidirectional communication system linking +the brain immune system heart lungs and all the bodys organs The physical health of these +parts is largely determined by your mental outlook and your outlook is determined by your +breathing pattern Most people operate on the unconscious assumption that we need shallow +breathing muscular tension and the accompanying panicked thoughts to stay safe come +across as intelligent be socially appropriate avoid rejection and remain occupationally +productive This is rarely true even in the short run +Chapter Think Peacefully +Chapter Bullet Points +e The fear and grief centers of our brains have been recruited as part of the default +network This makes negative thinking exceedingly difficult to stop +e Disengage from fear and grief by repeatedly envisioning yourself as nonjudgmental +nonresistant and nonattached +e Learn to reframe stressors live in the present moment and recognize thoughts for what +they are just thoughts +e The worstcase scenarios that we worry about so much rarely come to pass +e Recognize that many of your concerns are just defensive pessimism disguised as +practicality +e Negative thinking is a trance Snap yourself out of it +e Acute stress may give you a slight temporary advantage in some immediate situations +but chronic stress is a disadvantage in all situations +e Keep in mind that the calmer you are the better prepared you are to respond +to adversity +e Recognize that you do not need anxiety to be alert cogent and socially functional +e Negative thoughts broadcast unhealthy biological signals to the entire body The more +airtime you give to negative thinking the unhealthier you will become +e Stressed thinking causes important brain areas like the hippocampus and PFC +to physically degenerate whereas the absence of stress causes them to flourish +e Dont let the downsides of stress as described here cause you to fear stress or anxiety +You might even find that your anxiety calms if you allow yourself to feel free to be as +anxious as you want +e Prolonged paced diaphragmatic breathing strips negative thoughts and memories of +their ability to abduct your train of thought +e There is no good reason to be reprocessing insecurities from months or years ago If you +have already made an effort to compensate for them let them go +e Try being dead calm first by yourself and then with others +e Minimize replaying or imagining negative social scenarios especially confrontational or +violent ones +e Bevery calm when you model social interactions in your head +e Bevery calm in social situations Retain complete composure Make being calm a +priority in your life eclipsing the fear of appearing rude or unsophisticated +e Expect that the most relaxed version of you has what it takes to resolve any scenario +e The dominant monkey is not stressed because it believes in its ability to deal with +whatever new hardship comes along It trusts that it doesnt have to overthink things to +react adeptly to any circumstance +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Classic Stoic Quotes +Choose not to be harmedand you wont feel harmed Dont feel harmedand you havent +been Marcus Aurelius +What ought one to say then as each hardship comes was practicing for this was training +for this Epictetus +The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths Remain steadfast and one day +you will build something that endures something worthy of your potential Epictetus +On the occasion of every accident that befalls you remember to turn to yourself and inquire +what power you have for turning it to use Epictetus +Here is a rule to remember in future when anything tempts you to feel bitter not This is +misfortune but To bear this worthily is good fortune Marcus Aurelius +You dont have to turn this into something It doesnt have to upset you Marcus Aurelius +We suffer more often in imagination than in reality You want to live but do you know how to +live You are scared of dying but tell me is the kind of life you lead really any different to being +dead Seneca +It is not the man who has too little but the man who craves more that is poor Seneca +The chief task in life is simply this to identify and separate matters so that can say clearly to +myself which are externals not under my control and which have to do with the choices +actually control Where then do look for good and evil Not to uncontrollable externals but +within myself to the choices that are my own Epictetus +The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts Marcus Aurelius +Constant misfortune brings this one blessing to whom it always assails it eventually fortifies +Seneca +lf you are pained by any external thing it is not this thing that disturbs you but your own +judgment about it Marcus Aurelius +Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not but reckon up the chief of the blessings +you do possess and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were +not yours Marcus Aurelius +Chapter Think Peacefully +Classic Quotes from the Buddha +We are shaped by our thoughts we become what we think When the mind is pure +joy follows like a shadow that never leaves +If you light a lamp for somebody it will also brighten your path +The whole secret of existence is to have no fear +Pain is certain suffering is optional +Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be +shortened Happiness never decreases by being shared +It is a mans own mind not his enemy or foe that lures him to evil ways +We are shaped by our thoughts we become what we think When the mind is pure +joy follows like a shadow that never leaves +There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind and there is nothing so obedient as a +disciplined mind +Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts +The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past worry about the +future or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly +To keep the body in good health is a dutyotherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind +strong and clear +f the problem can be solved why worry If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you +no good +A man is not called wise because he talks and talks again but is he peaceful loving and +fearless then he is in truth called wise +Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the wind so are the wise unshaken by praise or blame +Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else +you are the one who gets burned +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Panksepp J Biven L The archaeology of mind Neuroevolutionary origins of +human emotion Norton Company +Ohman A Fear and anxiety Evolutionary cognitive and clinical perspectives +In M Lewis J M HavilandJones Eds Handbook of emotions pp +The Guilford Press +Panksepp Biven The archaeology of mind +Nelson E E Winslow J T Nonhuman primates Model animals for developmental +psychopathology Neuropsychopharmacology +Winslow J T Neuropeptides and nonhuman primate social deficits associated +with pathogenic rearing experience international Journal of Developmental Neuroscience +Bastian M L Sponberg A C Suomi S J Higley J D Longterm effects of +infant rearing condition on the acquisition of dominance rank in juvenile and adult rhesus +macaques Macaca mulatta Developmental Psychobiology +Bzdok D Laird A Zilles K Fox P T Eickhoff S An investigation of the +structural connectional and functional subspecialization in the human amygdala Human Brain +Mapping +Nesse R Young E Evolutionary origins and functions of the stress response +In G Fink Ed Encyclopedia of stress Vol pp Academic Press +Baumeister R F Finkenauer C Vohs K D Bad is stronger than good Review of +General Psychology +Vaish A T Grossman W A Not all emotions are created equal The negativity +bias in socialemotional development Psychological Bulletin +Carlson N R Physiology of behavior Pearson +Burney D A Flannery T F Fifty millennia of catastrophic extinctions after +human contact Trends in Ecology Evolution +Chapter Think Peacefully +Horn A Ostwald D Reisert M Blankenburg F The structuralfunctional +connectome and the default mode network of the human brain Neurolmage +Pt +Walsh R Shapiro S L The meeting of meditative disciplines and western +psychology A mutually enriching dialogue American Psychologist +Billington R Understanding Eastern Philosophy Routledge +Creswell J D Mindfulness interventions Annual Review of Psychology +KabatZinn J Full catastrophe living Using the wisdom of your body and mind to +face stress pain and illness Delta Trade Paperbacks +Gu J Strauss C Bond R Cavanagh K How do mindfulnessbased cognitive +therapy and mindfulnessbased stress reduction improve mental health and wellbeing A +systematic review and metaanalysis of mediation studies Clinical Psychology Review +Hdlzel B K Lazar S W Gard T SchumanOlivier Z Vago D R Ott U +How does mindfulness meditation work Proposing mechanisms of action from a conceptual +and neural perspective Perspectives on Psychological Science +Sharma M Rush S E Mindfulnessbased stress reduction as a stress +management intervention for healthy individuals a systematic review Journal of Evidence +Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Gotink R A Chu P +Busschbach J J Benson H Fricchione G L Hunink M G Standardised +mindfulnessbased interventions in healthcare An overview of systematic reviews and +metaanalyses of RCTs PLOS ONE e +Foy MR Kim J J Shors T J Thompson R F Neurobiological foundations +of stress In S Yehuda D Mostofsky Eds Nutrients stress and medical disorders +Humana Press +Liston C McEwen B S Casey B J Psychosocial stress reversibly disrupts +prefrontal processing and attentional control Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences +Sapolsky R M Stress and plasticity in the limbic system +Neurochemical Research +Reser J E Chronic stress cortical plasticity and neuroecology +Behavioral Processes +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science +Roozendaal B McEwen B S Chattarji S Stress memory and the amygdala +Nature Reviews Neuroscience +Cohen S JanickiDeverts D Miller G E Psychological stress and disease +JAMA +LeDoux J The emotional brain The mysterious underpinnings of emotional life +Simon and Schuster +Reser J Schizophrenia and phenotypic plasticity Schizophrenia may represent a +predicitive adaptive response to severe environmental adversity that allows both bioenergetic +thrift and a defensive behavioral strategy Medical Hypotheses Reser J E +Chronic stress cortical plasticity and neuroecology Behavioral Processes +Day J J Carelli R M The nucleus accumbens and Pavlovian reward learning +Neuroscientist Martinowich K Lu B Interaction between BDNF and +serotonin Role in mood disorders Neuropsychopharmacology +Haglund M E M Nestadt P S Cooper N S Southwick S M Charney D S +Psychobiological mechanisms of resilience Relevance to prevention and treatment of stress +related psychopathology Development and Psychopathology Kandel E R +Schwartz J H Jessell T M Principles of neural science th ed McGrawHill +Dusek J A Otu H H Wohlhueter A L Bhasin M Zerbini L F Joseph M G Benson +H Liebermann T A Genomic counterstress changes induced by the relaxation +response PLoS One e +Philippot P Gaetane C Blairy S Respiratory feedback in the generation of +emotion Cognition and Emotion +GoldmanRakic P S Cellular basis of working memory Neuron +Seamans J K Robbins T W Dopamine modulation of the prefrontal cortex and +cognitive function In K Neve Ed The Dopamine Receptors pp Humana Press +Ecker B Ticic R Hulley L Unlocking the emotional brain Eliminating symptoms +at their roots using memory reconsolidation Routledge +Chapter Think Peacefully +Hardt O Einarsson E O Nader K A bridge over troubled water +Reconsolidation as a link between cognitive and neuroscientific memory research traditions +Annual Review of Psychology +Centonze D Siracusano A Calabresi P Bernardi G Removing pathogenic +memories a neurobiology of psychotherapy Molecular Neurobiology +Lieberman M D Inagaki T K Tabibnia G Crockette M J Subjective +responses to emotional stimuli during labelling reappraisal and distraction Emotion +Baikie K A Wilhelm K Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive +writing Advances in Psychiatric Treatment +Pennebaker J W Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process +Psychological Science +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +What is a face To answer this question we must also consider heads and brains The brain +head and face are located together because we evolved from wormlike creatures As worms +move through mud it is helpful for them to analyze new soil along the way The head and its +various sensory organs are placed in the front of the animal to relay information about the +immediate and impending environment This is why the mouth tongue nose eyes and ears +are grouped so close together A face is a cluster of sensory organs and in mammals its +appearance offers insight into intentions and wellbeing +Fish amphibians and reptiles cannot make facial expressions and can only open and close +their eyes nose and mouth Unlike mammals these animals do not have muscles that attach +to the skin of the face Therefore their facial skin is immobile and essentially devoid of +expression The facial muscles of mammals act as sphincters constricting the area they +circumscribe eyes and mouth or as tractors pulling at their attachments cheeks brow chin +These various muscles bring the faces of mammals to life allow communication and when +contracted alter the animals outlook on its environment +The facial muscles of mammals interact extensively with unconscious areas of the brain +Many specialized neurological modules send output to andor receive input from the facial +muscles These include the fear and grief systems and this is how stress is able to act asa +puppeteer for our facial expressions When the facial muscles are chronically activated by +negative emotions they undergo repetitive strain As we will see in this chapter the partial +contraction of facial muscles has numerous harmful repercussions Most mammals have little +awareness of their facial tension and like a puppet almost no capacity to exercise deliberate +control over their facial muscles This chapter will focus on how to develop those capacities +Illustration Facial muscles of A human B Chimpanzee C Macaque monkey D Mouse +Refrain from Subliminal Grimacing and Frowning +woke up one morning an hour before my alarm clock sounded realized was too roused to +get back to sleep so practiced a few yoga poses and laid back down to meditate was doing +so concertedly concentrating on abating my chaotic thinking patterns turned my attention to +the recurring waves of negativism crashing on the shoreline of my consciousness was trying +to methodically break them up by examining the sensations involved After several minutes +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +of this the turbulent waters in my mind went still It took me a minute to realize how was able +to do this was slowly relaxing a lowgrade persistent grimace from my face that must have +learned to ignore many years previously This grimace that afflicts all of us is subtle and barely +perceptible in a mirror stayed in bed for a full hour trying to keep the contorted expression +from repossessing me As soon as my mind wandered the tension around my eyes and nose +would resurface and my contentious thoughts would return +We are constantly bracing our facial musculature This causes repetitive strain trigger +points muscle shortening and the development of stiff achy dormant muscles in the face +Though this has not been thoroughly investigated scientifically imagine that the pain +messages sent to our brains emotional centers from strained facial muscles are particularly +tormenting Spend some time contemplating this and attempt to bring awareness to the feeling +of grimacing +Facial Exercise Observe Your Facial Wincing and Grimacing +Lie down in complete comfort and concentrate on the tone in your facial muscles Try to relax +your face completely and notice how the scowl returns on its own Each time you notice it +allow your face to turn placid again Notice how your expression is affected by your thoughts +and vice versa Focus on the areas that seem to tighten the most in response to negative +thinking As with the progressive relaxation exercise from Chapter proceed from the top of +your face to the bottom taking notice of any tension in the brow and around the eyes +cheeks nose lips and then the chin The more time you spend doing this the more aware +of your scowl you will become and the better you will be at controlling it After a few weeks +of facial awareness grimacing will feel uncomfortable and unnecessary like reopening +a wound +You might be a little skeptical You might not believe that the source of your mental +hardship is your frown Nevertheless imagine a diminutive monkey Imagine this monkey was +horrendously traumatized as a baby and ever since has trod around with a wry wince on his +little face Just imagine how this would affect his inner world his encounters with others and +their impressions of him He would inevitably perceive things as more adverse than they are +due to the powerful interrelationships between bodily expression emotional condition and +social feedback Monitor your face carefully the next time you are speaking on the phone Are +you unwittingly using expressions of pain and subordination +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +Illustration A B C D Monkeys wincing +The facial feedback hypothesis holds that facial movement and emotional experience +constantly interact with each other below the level of conscious awareness Charles Darwin +was among the first to suggest this He wrote The free expression by outward signs of an +emotion intensifies it On the other hand the repression as far as this is possible of all outward +signs softens our emotions Even the simulation of an emotion tends to arouse it in our +minds Multiple concurring studies have supported this view For instance people asked to +hold a pencil between their teeth forcing them to smile unconsciously report better emotions +during this episode than control groups that held the pencil between their lips Botox injections +have been shown to decrease negative affect by reducing tension in the eyes and forehead +Individuals who have had Botox injections exhibit decreased activation of brain areas that +process negative emotions such as the amygdala Frowns tie you to aversive mental states +This suggests to me that a frown burned in from years of repetitive strain anchors you to them +Breaking My Nose Damaged My Facial Composure +A few days after discovering the wince on my face had a cup of coffee and bedded down in +my closet for three hours in a search for the source of tension in my mind was in total +darkness wearing noisereducing earmuffs in corpse pose with my breath metronome went +into the experience believing that some repeating thought pattern maintained my restlessness +waited for this pattern so that could observe it and figure out how to interrupt it However +the substrate of this pattern was not psychological as expected Instead it was again facial +must have been ignoring the sensation for years but it was clear and unmistakable +when it finally reemerged into consciousness Lying in the dark felt a tingling sensation in the +muscles surrounding my nose realized that these muscles were highly contracted The +muscles involved included the procerus the nasalis and the evator abii For the first time +could tell that even when thought was relaxing my face these muscles were still in overdrive +All at once felt practically like was hanging from the ceiling suspended by chains with a meat +hook piercing the bridge of my nose +It took an hour of meditative thought and exploration even to notice However once +became aware of the sensations around my nose they were impossible to ignore Within a few +more minutes realized that these sensations were the consequence of having my nose broken +inside a McDonalds at age The blow had shattered my nasal bone in several places and +fractured my septum and maxilla It split my nasalis muscle into two parts and it must have +also affected the nearby musculature and nerves realized that this injury had entrenched +my wincing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +For the first several minutes had no voluntary control over these nasal muscles eventually +found the muscles by trial and error over the course of an hour Actually first had to learn to +clench the muscles before could learn to relax them Each time actively tightened or relaxed +the muscle it would tingle and feel numb due to the nerve damage Of course my experience +was extreme but we all hold our faces in a fixed expression of emotional trauma +Having my nose broken damaged my nasal muscles and nerves and gave my face a dull +inattentive look that tried to compensate for by keeping my nose and eyes tight Especially in +social situations attempted to make up for the hypotonia with hypertonia to bring some life +and energy back to damaged facial expressions This made my social interactions neurotic +The unremitting wincing compromised my composure and social standing resulting in +sympathetic upregulation +Coincidentally this type of damage also happened to my cat Niko The little guy +approached a birds nest and a protective mother bird dove down and pecked him between +the eyes creating a deep gash down to the bone Nikos face looked dim for at least a month +because his brow and nasal muscles had been injured He looked disfigured for a few weeks +but eventually his eyes returned to their former state Luckily unlike me Niko did not try to +compensate for the damage by bracing This is why he didnt experience any lasting effects +Much of our facial tension comes from attempts to compensate for appearing haggard +unattractive or inattentive Sometimes we use our facial tension as an outward apology for +our appearance It often says Hey believe me know that dont look so great right now +Telling myself the following helped me know that Im ugly at times Im not afraid or +ashamed of appearing grotesque and in that retain dignity There is no reason to apologize for +my unsightliness with a grimace How do you brace your face when you feel ugly Identify it +and stop it +Submissive Mammals Have More Facial Tension +Of course facial bracing also comes from our perceived place in the status hierarchy More +dominant people and primates dont just brace their bodies less they also brace their faces +less By contrast the least dominant primates have permanent appeasement expressions +plastered on their faces +Introverted and shy people tend to become tense in social situations Their chakralike +modules develop tension quickly and they exhibit various forms of the energywasting +behavior discussed in Chapter They quickly start to squint sneer and hold tension all over +the body Social pressures add up fast and after just a few minutes of interacting with others +the introverted person starts to feel drained exhausted and like they want to escape Many +introverted people fake being extroverts until their trigger points have gone from latent to +active then they feel spent and try to get away from the crowd so that they can relax and +refuel know this behavior pattern well It was my social reality for years +Chapter discussed systematically removing extraneous bracing efforts from daily +activities Activity from Chapter asked you to notice your bracing habits while you brush +your teeth Now you must do the same thing for socializing How do you tense your face +unnecessarily when talking to others How does it extend down your neck and into the rest of +your body If you systematically eliminated the bracing from all your chakralike modules +during conversation and socialization you would become the most adept extrovert ever +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +You could work a room full of people without ever tiring Using the exercises in this book along +with selfawareness and diaphragmatic breathing you could make this your social reality +Facial Tension and Personality +There is a perpetual clenching squirming and cringing going on behind our faces that robs us of +our facial poise The muscles tighten when we are at the gym when embarrassed or when the +phone rings We should see this as gratuitous affectation Micrometabolic studies of the +anatomy of your facial musculature would reveal that some facial muscles hold more tension +than others Everyone has a different pattern of tension involving different parts of the face +These patterns are as distinct as fingerprints Some people may have tighter lips and others +tighter foreheads Even the three auricular muscles surrounding the ears hold tremendous +tension in some people but not in others +Young infants faces show high base rates of random combinatorial activity enabling +parents to shape a repertoire of conventional displays Infants more or less unconsciously +assess the feedback that people give them and alter their facial patterns accordingly Trial +error and trauma program young children to brace their eyes cheeks and jaws in certain ways +This in turn distributes tension to different anatomical areas and results in a unique pattern of +chronic muscular contractions +believe that these distinct patterns have strong associations with different features of +personality For instance am convinced that people who hold trigger points and shortening in +the muscle between the eyebrows the procerus which causes the brow to furrow into a +frown are more keenly possessed by anger These people wear a lowgrade menacing glower +that can contaminate their minds Any form of facial tension tarnishes our thinking to +some degree +Have you ever noticed that a friends face can change drastically if they go through a +prolonged period of grieving Again this is due to tension and without massage it will never +totally reverse even after the persons reason for mourning subsides believe that the blow to +the face experienced as a teenager made me an inveterate sneerer Similarly the peasized +knot that had one centimeter below each eye made me a perpetual squinter Where do you +hold your facial tension +Facial Activity Warming the Face in a Hot Shower +The next time you shower turn the heat up not enough to hurt and place your face under +the showerhead Allow your face to heat up for a full seconds After a minute turn the +water off completely and focus all your attention on your face This is the perfect time to try +to contract and relax your facial muscles because heated muscles work differently on a +cellular level in a way that you are not accustomed to You will notice how the tension is +amplified and that it contorts your face You have about a minute to analyze the experience +before it cools enough that the sensations end This will pinpoint what you should be trying +to relax +You can also use a facial mask to get instant biofeedback about the tension in your face +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Facial Activity Using a Facial Mask +Facial masks are usually made of clay mud creams or paper cutouts They are marketed as +products that improve the appearance of the face People who use them claim they hydrate +the skin and remove excess oils They also happen to be a powerful form of biofeedback that +should be taken advantage of by women and men alike After the mask begins to dry it sticks +to your skin making any movement that your face makes highly noticeable You will sense +resistance from the mask from any facial stress that you hold Using a facial mask and trying +to minimize any facial tension while employing a breath metronome can be an immensely +powerful healing experience It will teach you to breathe easily while expressionless +Master Expressionlessness and Own Your Face +The most important step in relaxing the facial muscles is to learn how to make a face with +absolutely no expression To do this you must allow your face to go dead by turning your face +off at the source At first this will look offputting and very unattractive Expressionlessness is +the visage that many of us try to avoid making because it can convey exhaustion and disdain +Withholding your customary facial bracing can make you look evil cruel or irate was inspired +to try expressionlessness after seeing my friend with schizophrenia on tranquilizers and +sedatives The physical ravages of stress and heavy facial bracing were more apparent than ever +because they were contrasted with his complete facial limpness He looked burned out and +completely out of touch with reality We all fear the social consequences of looking that way +But our face can never truly rest unless we do +The strange truth is that this hideous nonexpressive face is actually the most beautiful +version of you waiting to emerge The ghastly aspect is only due to the incongruity between the +relaxation and the trigger points Once the trigger points are gone the relaxation will look +natural Practicing expressionlessness using the exercises in this chapter will get rid of the active +trigger points and using the facial massage techniques in the next chapter will get rid of the +latent ones +Working on your expressionless face will be difficult at first You have to teach yourself to +turn off each portion of your face individually It will help to focus on relaxing the muscles +around your eyes relaxing your cheeks and allowing your jaw to gape and go slack Think of it +as an extension of corpse posea corpse face Focus especially hard on maintaining it when +you are by yourself and before you go to sleep You want to sleep every night as if every muscle +in your face jaw and throat are paralyzed How you look at yourself in the mirror is also +decisive When we look in the mirror we usually don our customary social mask Instead +ensure that your expression is not tense and that you dont grimace sneer squint or raise your +eyebrows +When you look at the ground your face is capable of becoming very calm It is easy to be +calm when looking down because you are not challenging anyone when your gaze is below +their eye line However when you look up again this calmness disappears in fear of offending +someone In the next activity dont let it disappear +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +Facial Exercise Conserving the Calm +Look down at the ground by lowering your eyes and head toward the floor Next try to look +completely relaxed It may take a few seconds for you to configure this Then try to +maintain this same face as you look up It will be challenging at first but keep working on it +This should be your default facial posture You may want to try this a different way Lie down +close your eyes and make the face you usually make during sleep Then sit up straight with +your eyes open wide wearing the exact same sleeping face For this to work you must +completely let down your customary guard +We walk around with tense faces because we are concerned that if someone sees our +expressionless face they will assume we are angry But when actually affronted we feel +entitled to be able to drop all formalities Many people are only expressionless when angry +noticed this one day when became outraged and suddenly all the social facial tension had +been trying to let go of disappeared on its own +Facial Activity Feigned Anger +Pretend a friend informs you that some other people said something derogatory about you +that you do not deserve For the first time in a long time you dont care what anyone thinks +about the way your face looks at the moment You are mad You are full of righteous +indignation Allow yourself to appear so cold sullen and uninviting that it makes bystanders +shiver You want a carnivorous look that says Ill eat you Dont make an angry face just +allow your anger to drain all pleasantries from your face Feel this absorb it Now strip the +negativity from it and make it your own +The indignation and anger you used in the exercise above are negative emotions so dont +use them too often Boredom is less extreme and almost equally as helpful If you ever feel the +need to regain your repose pretend you are bored +Facial Exercise Feigned Boredom and Tiredness +Spend a minute looking exceptionally invariably bored Next try looking overtired and +sleepy as if you have been up for five days straight Then spend a minute looking both bored +and tired but with wide eyes This instantly transforms boredom into a type of calm interest +Next while maintaining the calm elements of this expression move toward a face that +exhibits compassion or perhaps an appreciation of beauty Finally work in a smile and turn +the expression into one of happiness Return to indignance boredom or sleepiness as +needed to reset your face capture the expressionlessness from it and channel that into your +calm happy face +After you spend a few months pairing expressionlessness with diaphragmatic breathing +you will have alleviated much of your facial tension While working on expressionlessness you +may have to deaden your smile and some of the light in your eyes However after a short +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +hiatus when you reemploy many of your old expressions you will find that they are +unadulterated by the pained tension that previously accompanied them It is akin to breaking +an unhealthy system into its component parts and removing the unhealthy ones to build it back +up anew +Facial Activity Expressionless Running +The next time you run jog or exercise aerobically concentrate on maintaining an +expressionless face It takes practice to relax the face during physical exertion but it will +make it much easier to stay relaxed when you are not exerting yourself While exercising +focus on keeping your eyes wide and otherwise allow your entire face to go limp Think of +this as your game face +At first it will be uncomfortable to stay calm while keeping a straight face You may notice +that you easily break into a nervous smile a spontaneous laugh or a blush This is because +when you start out trying to look expressionless your body will compensate by adding tension +in other areas Facial expressionlessness will cause you to unconsciously tighten your neck +constrict your vocal folds or speed up your heart Notice this It is often a balancing act so that +when you relax one aspect another tightens up This happens because your body keeps +combinatorial records of the postures that are safe to have all at once You have to create new +healthier records where all the optimal postures are being used together simultaneously +We dont feel comfortable socially when our faces are at rest so facial rest is usually paired +with distressed breathing Taking on an expressionless face generally causes us to breathe +shallowly squint and look at the floor At first it will be hard to do it while maintaining eye +contact But this is all reversible Practice expressionlessness with paced breathing wide eyes +and looking upward along with the fixed gaze exercise from Chapter The more you can +breathe diaphragmatically while maintaining a nonexpressive face the more natural and +healthylooking it will become +Use Expressionlessness in Social Situations +We use facial tension to communicate things like Sorry for interrupting you may be wrong +about this or hope you like me Thus the tension becomes an integral part of our social +selfpresentation When you remove it you must radically rethink your social deliveries Your +very personality will change When allowing your face to be calm you have to come to grips +with the fact that some people wont like the way you look and will question why you have +allowed your face to be so lax At first took expressionlessness too far stopped smiling at +service employees treated other people like robots stopped connecting with people +emotionally and had the appearance of deadness Avoid this Use it alone use it in public but +dont take it too far especially in the company of friends +Although you may try to present a completely calm face you probably still look defensive +This is because you assume that other people will interpret your expressionless face as +competitive and you make a preemptive negative face This keeps it from being truly calm All +you must do to ensure a socially sensitive expressionless face is to widen the eyes and breathe +diaphragmatically Trust that taking long deep slow breaths will wipe away the negative +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +aspect Welcome looking like a doe in the headlights acting like you are imploring someone or +appearing naive Dont be afraid of playing the part of an inquisitive toddler with puppydog +eyes Sometimes the most powerful countenance is that of a funloving child +An authentically calm face is actually endearing Chapter discussed how subordinate apes +avoid eye contact and how direct looking can be a threat signal Expressionlessness can change +this When a chimpanzee gazes at another that is not using any apprehensive signals such as +pursing the lips frowning or glaring it does not appraise it as threatening Expressionlessness +free from negativity will make your eye contact more inviting opening social doors for you +Allow me to offer some words and phrases that may help guide you in finding your new look +Ultimately you want to imbue your expressionlessness with a cool elegant urbane sheen lam +not talking about being distant detached aloof or unsociable Rather think about these words +dispassionate collected imperturbable unflappable unruffled serene free from agitation You +want a sedate disposition stemming from selfdiscipline You want temperate selfassurance that +suggests indifference You want an easy casualness even under heavy provocation +You might also try to incorporate a look of stoic decorum find the definition of the word +stoic to be inspiring a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their +feelings or complaining When started focusing on appearing stoic suddenly lost the tough +guy shtick because stoicism is not a competition It is an internal discipline Make your +appearance resigned to drama with no trace of protest Create your own calm facial expression +that you truly believe is warm and positive If you believe it it will come across as clear as day +The ultimate extension of this is to make your facial expressions and eye contact emanate a +relaxed loving kindness +Social Disapproval of Your Expressionlessness +remember when first started forcing myself to walk on the sidewalk with an expressionless +face was genuinely worried that someone driving by would become infuriated with me +because my face was too calm was concerned that someone would literally see my face +through their windshield from to feet away pull their car over and try to fight me over it +had to overcome delusions like this before could let my face tranquilize Do you Start +making this expressionless face alone in your room so that social concerns dont start to +manipulate your facial muscles without your awareness Next try it walking around your home +or neighborhood Slowly work up to being in a store a restaurant or other public place while +sporting your new calm demeanor +When used during conversation people will question the authenticity of your +expressionlessness thinking that it is artificial One thing they will do is stare at you while you +are looking at something else Bullies do this often They will leave their gaze on you thinking +that if they look long enough you will revert to a more submissive facial posture They +anticipate you will look down lower your chin raise your eyebrows or squint your eyes +Dont submit to their visual inspection of you By underreacting to them you will show them +that it is not a ruse +Bullies will also show false tension in their faces or pretend to lose their composure to bait +you into doing the same Once you follow their cue they instantly revive their composure to +make you look stupid Many people do this Most of them do it halfconsciously It is a +manipulative ploy +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Demonstrate a psychopathic indifference toward other peoples interpretation of your +calm facial posture When they see your expressionlessness and respond with a deadpan look +of their own dont judge their version negatively even if it looks smug Instead act as if you are +glad to see that they are trying to be as calm as you are It is not your responsibility to sink to +the level of the other persons demeanor Instead make it your responsibility to pull them up to +your level +We are already accustomed to receiving disapproving nonverbal feedback from others +when we let our faces relax Many of us had parents who would become outraged if our face +was too calm thinking that we were being flippant sarcastic or obstinate have seen many +children look afraid to appear calm around their parents Kids learn by trial and error to make +pained expressions to defer to parents and teachers This kind of early environmental feedback +makes us feel defensive whenever we sport a calm look +Despite being a decent father in many respects have a friend who is often too dictatorial +with his young daughter To assuage his wrath she squints curls her top lip pouts and pleads +with him in a high voice Daily Her brow wrinkles in a halfcircle from furrowing and raising the +eyebrows at the same time There is no telling how many other internal chakras she strains to +buy mercy +Other parents spoil their children sparing their chakralike modules but causing them to be +undisciplined and disrespectful A good proportion of beautiful and composed people were +spoiled as children Some parents can instill discipline and reverence without traumatizing +and this takes an incredible amount of parenting skill This is the best kind of parent to be +but also the best kind of friend to be +When people see you are stolidly composed they will assume you are likely to mistreat +them When you are kind to them they will be surprised because they assume the only thing +holding most people back from acting abusive is their lack of composure Usually the person +with more composure acts more abusive This is normative and commonly accepted As your +composure improves you may have to fight the urge to take advantage of others You may +have the impulse to be rude scornful or otherwise exploit your privileged position If you are +not a bad person and dear reader am sure you are not as your composure improves you +will become less offensive This is because you will find you have less to act defensive and +oppositional about +The Effect of Tension on the Body During Development +We have discussed how taking on facial and bodily muscle tension is an evolved strategy that +communicates submissiveness to avoid being challenged and attacked There are numerous +similar strategies involving body plan changes even just in primates For example +male orangutans are capable of exhibiting a pronounced developmental hiatus when they +reach the females size What happens next varies Some males go on to develop into full adult +body size along with other mature characteristics such as facial flaps In contrast other males +will enter a prolonged period of physical juvenility arrested growth and development but +otherwise full sexual maturity +Environmental feedback determines whether male orangutans enter this prolonged +juvenile phase or not If their environment stifles their serotonin and testosterone levels they +are more likely to put off full maturity for a few years to avoid competing with the fully mature +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +males Fascinatingly suppression of maturity in orangutans is seen even in males that consider +themselves subordinate to a human groundskeeper If the keeper is replaced or the orangutan +successfully challenges the keeper the orangutan will quickly develop its cheek pads and +full size +Male gorillas do not mature into a full silverback for three to eight years after reaching +sexual maturity Some take much longer than others This gives them more time to develop +skills and relationships before they attempt to become an alpha male This phenomenon in +orangutans gorillas and many other animals is called sexual bimaturism It is evident in +humans as well Males hit puberty two years later than girls This is widely thought to delay the +age in which men are thrust into stressful and potentially dangerous competition with older +more dominant sexually active males +A similar process may be going on with our bodies and faces The combination of distress +and repetitive strain may program muscles all over the body to become weak hypotrophic to +display our place in the pecking order In other words the tension keeps us from being as +muscular and healthy as we could be previously thought that most of the variability in beauty +and robust body type was explained by genes thought alpha animals attained their status by a +stroke of genetic luck Now am convinced that much of it comes from environmental +feedback and developmental plasticity Bad social environments influence children to strain +their faces while good ones encourage children to relax them Tension alters our physiognomy +Over months and years some people look depleted and sickly while others look handsome and +brawny Most of us passively allow the environment to determine how this plays out The +Program Peace exercises can help you actively optimize it +Remember from Chapter that muscles that do not rest cannot heal Relaxed muscles are +capable of full recovery and thus are more responsive to exercise Now that your facial muscles +are capable of resting fully they are capable of becoming more muscular +Facial Exercises That Will Make a Relaxed Face Robust +Use the exercises in this section to contract your facial muscles beyond their normal range and +out of partial contraction To do this flex them as hard as you can while breathing +diaphragmatically Some of the muscles are involved in superiority displays others in inferiority +displays but recommend pairing them all with proper breathing to unlink them from the +sympathetic stress system This will make the superiority displays indubitable and the inferiority +displays playful rather than subordinating +Diaphragmatic generalization will reduce the activation threshold for these muscles +encouraging them to contract spontaneously effortlessly and more frequently This will free +up previously frozen contractions and help you become more expressive Exercising these +muscles to the point of fatigue and then letting them rest completely will also help them grow +stronger and more prominent +Facial Exercise Freeing Up the Face +Spend one minute contracting each of the following ten sets of muscles while performing +paced breathing with a breath metronome Hold a firm contraction until the muscles +tremble burn or reach fatigue After they do focus on letting them go completely limp As +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +the muscles rest resist the tendency to resume bracing After performing these ten exercises +individually feel free to start combining them +Flare your nostrils as wide as you can while keeping the rest of your face relaxed +Many of us are afraid to flare our nostrils because it is a dominance signal It is often +used in other primates as a threat signal Many submissive peoples nostrils are +completely inactive Mine certainly were People with very healthy nostril tone will +unconsciously flare and constrict their nostrils unconsciously as they speak Exercising +them took me from having nearly zero conscious control of them to having full +rhythmic control Building subtle nostril dilation into your facial posture will lend your +face more selfownership Because these muscles extend up into your nose you may +also find that it makes nasal breathing easier +Open your jaw widely and hold it there You might slide it from left to right or move it +in a circular motion This activates the platysma of the neck and many muscles +throughout the jaw Next bring your jaw as far forward underbite and as far back +overbite as you can and perform a chewing motion from these positions The best +default setting for your jaw is about one millimeter to one centimeter open and +wholly relaxed with the lips closed +Squint heavily have recommended not subjecting the orbicularis oculi to strain but +coactivating their firm contraction with diaphragmatic breathing will detraumatize +them and help free them from passive partial contraction So exercise them by +clamping them shut as hard as you can +Raise the eyebrows as high as they will go Hold until the frontalis muscle starts to +fatigue Repeat +Furrow your eyebrows as if you were concerned or angry Slowly alternate between +letting them relax and forcing them to furrow as much as they can Bring the procerus +and corrugator supercilii to full fatigue The ability to be calm while frowning fully will +give your face authority +Raise the chin and bottom lip by contracting the mentalis This is a very powerful and +dominant expression Use it in a friendly way It is a genteel but reserved way to greet +someone Combined with a nod it is a strong way to provide an affirmation +Pull down the sides of the mouth by contracting the depressor labii These muscles +are responsible for the downturning of the corners of the mouth when humans make +the sad face It constitutes what is known as the crying face in apes Use this +expression to play concerned or apologetic +Sneer heavily Use the levator labii superioris to raise the upper lip in an aggressive +sneer Do this with the mouth both closed and wide open Imagine you are a +ferocious monstrosity about to take a tremendous bite out of something Making this +expression will likely cause you to breathe very shallowly Pairing it with diaphragmatic +breathing will unbar this portion of the face making you appear less fearful +Crinkle the nose heavily Crinkling the nose can be a very playful expression that +demonstrates how little tension you hold in your face Most people avoid it because +whenever the muscles contract latent trigger points here become active Exercising it +will first subdue and then purge the trigger points +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +Contract the lips heavily People and apes purse their lips in anger Many of us have +atrophied lip muscles because we are afraid of using this expression If you want to +improve the appearance and increase the size of your lips exercising them will +provide much more naturallooking results than cosmetic injections injections +damage muscle tissue leading to bracing patterns that will eventually cause the lips +to develop asymmetric muscle fiber contractions and become grotesque Attractive +lips are toned not inflated To tone yours pursepucker your lips hard It can help to +do this against an object such as your knuckle the corner of your cell phone or your +wallet Press your lips firmly into the object while extending the lips as far as they can +go until they fatigue +Aside from using these static contractions repeated rhythmic contraction provides other +benefits Perform each of the ten contractions above but instead of holding a prolonged +contraction for a minute contract and release the muscle rapidly times Alternate +between the firmest contraction you can muster and complete relaxation Do this at a rate of +one to three contractions per second with the goal of bringing the muscle to fatigue This not +only builds strength and optimal tone but also coordination which can translate into +interpersonal communicative skills +Illustration A Nostrils flared B Jaw wide C Squinting D Eyebrows raised E Brow furrowed and lowered +F Chin raised G Corners of mouth lowered H Sneering Nose crinkled J Lips puckered +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chewing activates more muscle than any of the facial expressions The muscles of +mastication including the masseter pterygoid and temporalis are large and highly susceptible +to strain had a medical doctor diagnose me with temporomandibular joint dysfunction He +said that the range of motion in my jaw was heavily encumbered and that as a whole my jaw +was badly closed down Exercise below along with the jaw massage described in the next +chapter healed this It ended the pain and cracking It melted the knots away And it resulted in +the same doctor rescinding the diagnosis +Facial Exercise Unstifling the Jaw +Place a folded rag or paper towel in your mouth so that it keeps your teeth from touching +when you bite down Clench your teeth hard during your exhalations and relax the jaw during +inhalations After you carefully warm your jaw up in this way you should be able to clench +harder and harder over several days until you feel safe clenching as hard as you can This will +salvage portions of the masseter that were previously stuck in painful partial contraction and +potentially contributing to headaches Massage the masseter afterward Combining this +practice with gum chewing will cause the back of the jaw to become more muscular and +toned If you want a more strenuous jaw workout you can cut a oneinch by twoinch strip +from a cotton rag and chew it like gum This may be painful at first but it will feel great +within a week and will improve circulation to your gums and the roots of your teeth +Conclusion +My mother an art historian has cataloged and captioned many photographs of early California +pioneers She spent considerable time analyzing portraits of these hardworking rugged people +who survived on a dangerous frontier She said many of the individuals photographed reminded +her of wolves She explained to me that they appeared wild and undomesticated Their faces +seemed less encumbered by a social mask and were emblematic of a cunning phlegmatic +dauntless animal intent on survival Dont wear the face of a tame housebroken pup Wear that +of an unbroken wolf +There is only one inborn error and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy So long as we persist in +this inborn errorthe world will seem to us full of contradictions For at every step in great things and small we +are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of being happy Thats +why the faces of almost all elderly people are deeply etched with such disappointment Arthur Schopenhauer +The fate described by the dismal quote above is escapable But we have to take the reins +It is our responsibility and not the worlds to create happiness in our lives A great first step is +to keep the etching of disappointment from happening It is said that by old age you manifest +the face you deserve But even some toddlers have purple creases under their eyes +usually because they are modeling their parents expressions The muscular contortions that +lead to the disfigurement of our faces and bodies start in infancy However it is never too late +to intervene +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +Learning to embrace expressionlessness and practicing facial exercises will help keep your +facial muscles from taking on additional strain as you age However they will not totally release +your facial bracing patterns Only soft tissue massage in the form of compression or percussion +can do this The next chapter will show you how to remove the tension from your facial +muscles making even the most expressionless face in the world look absolutely natural +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e We brace the muscles in our face throughout the day resulting in continual wincing +grimacing and frowning +e Facial bracing causes the muscles to become stuck in partial contraction and develop +trigger points and adaptive muscle shortening +e The repetitive strain of facial muscle is disempowering because it anchors you to +negative thoughts and emotions +e The activation of latent trigger points in the face destroys our composure and +contributes to social fatigue and introversion +e Practicing a resting face corpse face or expressionlessness will stop the accumulation +of strain and make your face agile and light on its feet +e To make expressionlessness effortless and ensure that it does not offend people it must +be combined with diaphragmatic breathing widening of the eyes fixed gaze practices +and positive intentions +e Expressionlessness will reduce strain and keep latent trigger points from becoming +active However removing the trigger points requires massage and hard contraction of +the muscles involved +e Exercising the facial muscles by contracting them beyond their normal range until they +reach fatigue and combining this with diaphragmatic breathing will strengthen and +revive them +Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension +Chapter Endnotes +Brown F D Prendergast A Swalla B J Man is but a worm Chordate origins +Genesis +Buck R Nonverbal behavior and the theory of emotion The facial feedback +hypothesis Journal of Personality and Social Psychology +Darwin C R The expression of the emotions in man and animals John Murray +Lewis M B Exploring the positive and negative implications of facial feedback +Emotion +Lewis M B Bowler P J Botulinum toxin cosmetic therapy correlates with a more +positive mood Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology +Hennenlotter A Dresel C Castrop F Ceballos Baumann A O Wohlschlager A M +Haslinger B The link between facial feedback and neural activity within central +circuitries of emotionNew insights from botulinum toxininduced denervation of frown +muscles Cerebral Cortex +Charlesworth W R Kreutzer M A Facial expressions of infants and children +In P Ekman Ed Darwin and facial expression A century of research in review pp +Malor Books +van Schaik C MacKinnon J Orangutans In D MacDonald Ed +The encyclopedia of mammals nd ed Oxford University Press +de Waal F Our inner ape A leading primatologist explains why we are who we are +Riverhead Books +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +Why Use Facial Massage +The tension in our faces drives the stress response influencing us to feel anxious and breathe +shallowly The damage it does to the muscles makes our faces appear languid overwrought +and weak Deep tissue massage is the only way to counteract this Compression and percussion +will reinvigorate the muscle increase blood supply reverse muscle shortening remove trigger +points decrease inflammation and permit the muscle to grow +The results can be dramatic because the longterm strain on our muscles is the leading +cause of facial aging and loss of facial composure These two issues are probably among the +biggest sources of human insecurity Both are not only preventable but reversible If you want +your face to look healthy and feel amazing invest some time and effort in the facial massage +regimen described here +If you press your knuckles into your brow your cheeks or your jaw with between and +pounds of pressure you will likely feel an acute aching sensation This pain may be so intense +that it makes your breathing shallow and the pit of your stomach tight However if you spend +minutes a day compressing your facial muscles while breathing diaphragmatically the pain +will be gone within three months The sagging puffiness and deposits of fat will go with it You +will be washing your face and it will feel completely different It will feel lean smooth and +finely contoured You will glance at yourself in a mirror or window and wont recognize the +leaner angular chiseled face looking back at you You will look healthier and that will help you +feel healthier too Most importantly your baseline level of stress will be significantly reduced +Facial massage and acupressure are old arts However existing methods are not +scientifically informed and intend to pacify the face temporarily rather than to relieve trigger +points permanently The method presented here targets the most pernicious myofascial +restrictions in the face and guides you in systematically eliminating them Once you work +through these exercises you will be able to relax facial muscles that you could not relax before +and you will have more precise control over your faces movements Eventually you will be +tensionfree and able to comfortably and gracefully transition between expressionlessness and +your full healthy range of expressions +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Ds +K a +EA +illustration Facial expressions +Social Fatigue and Resting Face +When our face is continually tense the people around us recognize it as a clear sign of self +perceived inferiority My face was so tense that whether someone was making a joke at my +expense or complimenting me could not help but respond in a bashful embarrassed way A +sheepish grimace would betray me constantly by showing others that it was easy to make me +uncomfortable By undermining my ability to stay composed and be assertive it made mea +target for mistreatment by unkind or unthinking people Facial massage obliterates this +submissiveness If you rarely look uncomfortable people learn quickly that they are the ones +that will look bad if they try to bully you Moreover you will be able to keep a fantastic poker +face The person who can keep a straighter face usually controls the situation These days only +smile when want to and can even tell the punchline to a joke with a straight face Even after +a long day of gregariousness can easily assume a calm expressionless demeanor +Social fatigue occurs when prolonged social encounters become stressful overwhelming +and cause a person to seek rest from social interaction When you are experiencing social +fatigue people can usually see it in your face It derives from the fatigue of facial muscles +When these muscles tire or when their latent trigger points become active it becomes +depleting They are draining to use and this diminishes our ability to express and be friendly +Studies show that the amount a person smiles and makes socially engaging facial expressions +are two of the best predictors of likeability Using your face makes people want to be around +you But if your facial muscles are in perpetual fatigue you cant emote and you will ultimately +feel dejected +Bitchy resting face or resting bitch face is a popular term for a facial expression or lack +of expression that unintentionally appears angry or contemptuous When we allow our face to +relax more than usual the tense muscles that we cannot relax become readily apparent and +belie our attempt to appear calm Before started a facial massage regimen no one ever saw +my bitchy resting face because never allowed my face to rest even when alone was so self +aware of how bad my face looked at rest that always sported a compensatory grimace Our +goal should be to massage the face until a complete resting face is no longer bitchy We want to +shoot for a wideeyed peaceful resting face +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +Microexpressions +All of us are constantly making microexpressions with our facial muscles A microexpression is +an involuntary expression that is evoked by emotion They are very brief and last between +and of a second It is thought to be very difficult if not impossible to completely +suppress microexpression reactions These reflexes largely dictate our genuine emotional +reactions to what happens around us Sometimes they turn out to be premature or socially +unacceptable and in these cases we inhibit them and replace them with something else If you +find yourself compulsively thinking negative thoughts during the day it is very likely that many +of the automatic microexpressions you make are negative +Most mammals that are not primates only wince when they experience physical pain +Primates take the innate facial reflex of wincing to physical pain and generalize it to social pain +Humans take it another step further We wince when someone chastises us but many of us +learn to overgeneralize our facial analogies wincing even when someone congratulates us +Pained maladaptive microexpressive habits like this are perpetuated by facial strain Massaging +the muscles using the activities below will remove the frown the cry face the squint the blush +and the sneer from the involuntary microexpressions that flicker across your face +Facial Massage Techniques and Targets +Releasing tension from your facial muscles requires the three techniques described in Chapter +percussion compression and vibration Well start with a simple percussion exercise +following the protocol laid out in that chapter Use a knuckle knuckle tool like the Jack +Knobber or Index Knobber a coat hook baseball softball or Bonger to strike the dormant +tender muscles repeatedly +Facial Massage Exercise Soft Facial Percussion +Use a knuckle or appropriate tool to gently strike all the major surfaces of your face Find a +rapid easytomaintain rhythm as you go striking your muscles times per second +The force of each blow should be roughly what you use when clapping your hands softly +The blows that result in deep muscular aches will succeed in reducing excessive tone as long +as you are breathing deeply Focus on your brow and cheeks but percuss everywhere +including every inch of your nose orbits lips chin and jawline Soend more time on areas +that hurt most The best time for this exercise is in the hours before bed so that your face +can rest overnight +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Frontalis Temporalis +Procerus +Zygomaticus +Levator +Labii +Buccinator +a in +Platysma +Orbicularis +Oculi +Nasalis +Levator +Labii +Orbicularis +Oris +Mentalis +Depressor +Depressor Anguli +Labii Oris +Inferioris +Ilustration A Woman with major facial massage target areas marked with an x +B Underlying facial anatomy +The area you massaged may feel slightly sore to the touch the next day Even so it should +never hurt when not being touched No part of your face should ever become chafed swollen +bruised or discolored those are all signs that you are striking too hard or for too long and need +to scale back Dont skip a day just because the area is sore Gently working through the +soreness day after day will keep the hypertonia from resurfacing +There are also a few important notes about advisability +Do not massage your eyeballs only the orbits around them +If you have injected filler or any cosmetic substances into your skin compression may +not be safe +There are a wide variety of dermatological conditions that contraindicate massage +so if you have any reason to worry about your skins sensitivity integrity or safety +please consult your doctor prior to attempting selfmassage +have compressed tissues on nearly every corner of my face and have not experienced any +injury whatsoever +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +lustration A These are the best tools to use on the face Do not use the smallest coat hook third from the +right The tip is too small and thus works too well It will reduce muscle tone so much that it will cause healthy +muscle to atrophy Pictured from left to right three sizes of eyebolts x x x Jacknobber +Index Knobber Bonger The smooth end of a Sharpie marker or coat hooks with a rounded tip can also be +excellent tools +Much of the remainder of this chapter describes how to use compression on every muscle +of the face After just six days of performing these exercises for ten minutes per day for a total +of an hour you should attain noticeable results The extent of the results will depend on your +breathing If you breathe five breaths per minute while performing the exercises the results +will be dramatic If you normally breathe more than breaths per minute you may find that +compressing the facial muscles is painful and that hard compression injures rather than +releases them If this is the case you should return to Chapter and spend more time +rehabilitating your breathing before continuing with this regimen +There are many layers to the tension and it may take months or years to achieve optimal +results Your progress should be consistent and readily apparent however and you should +expect the gains you experience to be longlasting Most of the exercises can be performed +from a standing or seated position The ones that use a tool especially the eyebolt are best +performed by placing the base of the tool on the ground or a flat surface and pressing the +area of the face to be compressed into the top of the tool using the weight of the head +The diagrams below illustrate how this can be done with an eyebolt seated kneeling +or lying down +Illustration A B C Comfortable positions for facial compression Ensure that the tool does not slip and +bump into your delicate eyeball +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +For each of the facial massage exercises below you will be using a knuckle finger or tool +to search for and press gently against the sorest muscles Please see the compression protocol +from Chapter Move slowly across the area ensure that each press overlaps with the last +Hold each press for two to ten seconds Once you have massaged the whole area start over +As you practice maintain paced breathing +Around the Eyes Orbicularis Oculi +Most people have bags under their eyes although the bags can vary widely in shape size and +color Some people have dark circles Others have a crease that runs from the inside corner of +the eye diagonally down and away from the nose It is often darker in color and sometimes +black and blue These are all due to tension in the lower portion of the orbicularis oculi muscle +caused by perpetual squinting This tension can be the cause of frequent crying Before +compressing this area would often feel on the verge of crying Since massaging them rarely +feel tearful You should also find that you squint much less in sunlight +Medial +Palpebral +Ligament +Se +Orbicularis +Oculi Orbital +Bone +Illustration Orbicularis oculi massage +Facial Massage Exercise Outer Orbicularis Oculi +Firmly massage your upper cheeks with a tool or knuckle Provide moderate to hard pressure +using circular strokes Use between five and ten pounds of pressure all over the area +surrounding the eye It is okay if the affected muscles are slightly sore the next day You +might start with a squash ball until nextday soreness stops and then switch to harder +implements like a baseball knuckle or other tool +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +Facial Massage Exercise nner Orbicularis Oculi +Place the tips of your index fingers along the edge of your eyes orbits just under the eye +the orbit is the bony ridge that encircles the eyes You should be able to feel hard strings of +muscle At first thought that these were veins and assumed that should not compress +them They are merely tense muscles and they will soften with compression Push down on +them with your fingertips and squeeze them against the orbital bone Then place the second +knuckle of each index finger just to the side of these cords Apply firm pressure and move +slowly over them pinning them against the orbit as you go Finally use your fingers +knuckles and an eyebolt to compress the entire orbit The portion of the orbicularis oculi +nearest the nose contains the medial palpebral ligament around which there is a lot of +tension Focus on this area and the areas directly below and above it +Facial Massage Exercise Lateral Orbicularis Oculi +Compress the bony ridges of the outside lateral corners of your eyes Tension here leads to +the wrinkles known as crows feet also called periorbital lines Your crows feet will diminish +in size and depth as the muscle becomes supple and circulation improves Eventually they +may disappear completely Compressing these muscles will also reduce squinting when you +smile Start by straddling the lateral orbital bone with two of your knuckles and press in to it +as you stroke up and down You may notice small painful bundles of muscle here compress +them a little more each day and they will gradually fade away +Facial Massage Exercise Fyelids +Your eyelids contain tiny muscles that when overly tense can cause swelling itching or turn +the rims of the lids bright red To reduce excessive tone in these tiny muscles squeeze them +gently to stop them from contracting To do so wash your hands and then use your thumb +and forefinger to pinch the outside of your eyelids Pinch the upper lids all over from left to +right especially the area near the lashes Repeat with the lower lids You should notice that +your lids become lighter in color less itchy and less puffy within a week +The Brow Frontalis Procerus and Corrugator Supercilli +Most of us have very tense muscles in our foreheads and eyebrows They become tense +because we raise our eyebrows frontalis muscle when trying to make friends and furrow our +brows using the procerus and corrugator supercilli muscles when we get angry You might +remember from Chapter that the former are used by an animal being chased and the latter +are used by an animal chasing Over time these expressions can become plastered on our +faces making the brow painful by our midtwenties +Brow muscles can be difficult to work on It took me three months of massaging for about +minutes per day before the pain faded fully But it was worth it because it also got rid of +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +sizeable knots and scar tissue Previously those knots had kept my brow in a permanently +raised state making them tremble when was upset or nervous Releasing your brow muscles +reverses this It will also reverse the muscle shortening letting your eyebrows descend to take +on a fearless look Your eyebrows will keep still when you talk and only raise when you want +them to +Procerus +Corrugator +Supercilli +Illustration Brow massage +Facial Massage Exercise Frontalis +Take the first knuckle of your thumb or forefinger and press it into the skin of your forehead +Be sure to cover the areas above below and underneath each eyebrow You will likely find +bundles of tight muscle fibers that are excruciating to compress Begin gently and increase +pressure slowly until you get the intended dayafter ache You can give your knuckle a break +by pressing the full weight of your head onto a baseball tabletop or tool moving the +pressure all around your forehead and concentrating on areas that hurt the most +Facial Massage Exercise Procerus and Corrugator Supercilli +Press the knuckles of the thumb or an eyebolt directly between your eyebrows to compress +the procerus the corrugator supercilli and other soft tissues in the area believe tension in +the procerus forces us to contend with anger and that relieving this muscle is emotionally +purgative As mentioned in Chapter scientists regard the corrugator supercilli as the +principal muscle used in the expression of suffering Why wouldnt we all compress these +muscles until they are painless +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +The Cheeks Zygomaticus Major and Minor Levator Anguli Oris Levator Labii +The zygomas are the bone protrusions on either side of the human face commonly referred to +as cheekbones They are the meeting point for multiple muscles that overlap to create an +intersection of tension That tension causes inflammation and swelling Compressing the +muscles will reduce that swelling uncovering your cheekbones and making them more visible +and pronounced It will also end chronic blushing and cheek tightness used to blush socially +and every time exercised never blush anymore +Most smiling is nervous smiling In fact when we laugh or smile socially our hearts are +often beating quickly and our breath is shallow and tense As you know any muscles that are +routinely coactivated with distressed breathing will hold excess tension In the case of the +zygomatic muscles that strain causes them to pull on tendons where they attach to the +cheekbones causing deep pain The tendons become so strained that the area accumulates +scar tissue and undergoes a host of degenerative cellular processes This made my smile rotten +and mangled This was the sorest place on my entire face Pressing a baseball into it with five +pounds of pressure hurt so badly that it made me want to cry There were tiny protuberances +and what felt like sand in the area Now it is smooth and all the pain is gone completely +NY +Levator Zygomaticus +j +Labii e e Minor +wo Gi Zygomaticus +m Major +Risorious +Illustration Cheek massage +Facial Massage Exercise Zygomatic Muscles +Compress the area all around the cheekbones above them below them and to the sides +You can use either a baseball your knuckles or the backs of your wrists Press especially +deeply into the lower outside portion of your cheekbones where the zygomaticus minor and +major muscles are anchored You should be able to feel this painful point of insertion in the +cheek about two inches outside laterally and below the corner of the eye After a few +months of compressing this your smile will be bigger unfaltering and will feel fullbodied +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Facial Massage Exercise Zygomatic Arch +To truly free up your eyes and your cheeks you need to massage and compress the muscles +all the way back along your cheekbones to your ears This whole ridge the zygomatic arch +may be painful and covered in palpably tense muscle fibers Put this ridge between the +second knuckles or your middle and ring fingers and stroke it back and forth You should be +able to ease the tension in just a few days Additionally try placing the ridge on a hard +surface like a book and press it down at different angles Massaging the ridge from your +cheek to your ear will allow your smile to extend outward toward the ear instead of being +restricted to the area around your nose +The Nose Levator Labii Superioris +In most mammals the sneer occurs more conspicuously on one side of the mouth usually the +left You may have observed this in a snarling dog Accordingly had a much larger knot in my +left levator labii superioris than in my right It was probably the largest knot in my face It was +about the size of three sticks of chewed gum Releasing this muscle was empowering for me +After releasing it realized that used to walk around with a permanent sneer on my face +The sneer would grow as became uncomfortable making me look sour It was stuck in partial +contraction with very little range of motion Now that the muscles are at rest feel less +defensive and less susceptible to provocation +Levator Labii +LevatorLabii f +Superioris +Levator Depressor +Anguli Oris +Illustration Sneer massage +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +Facial Massage Exercise Levator Labii +Using a tool or the second knuckle of your forefinger press very firmly into the space +between your nose and your cheek the upper portion of the maxilla bone This will target +the levator labii which raises the upper lip You may be able to feel tiny pops and cracks Very +light popping is normal and indicates that the cellular adhesions holding the muscle in partial +contraction are breaking down Work your way from the top of your nose down to the corner +of your mouth along your marionette lines Use eyebolts of different sizes pressing them into +this space between your nose and cheek bone +Releasing the muscles on the sides of your nose will make the area appear deeper and +leaner giving you a friendlier calmer look and allowing you to smile without sneering felt like +bloodsucking leeches had been removed from the sides of my nose In fact used to wake up +every morning with a dull ache on the sides of my nose Never again +Facial Massage Exercise Nasalis +Use your knuckles to compress the bridge and the sides of your nose including the nasalis +muscle and the levator labii SAN This will provide relief to the muscles that crinkle the +nose The easiest way to do this is to lie face down on a bed with your chest supported by +pillows Place the base of an index knobber or eyebolt on the bed and rest your head on top +of the tool with your sneering muscles as the point of contact Move the end of the tool +gently around the area compressing deeply The meat of the muscle lies in the bed created +by the top of the nasolabial folds marionette lines near the nostrils Search for and target a +large knot you may find in the middle of this area +Duration Two minutes Proficiency Two sessions per week for weeks +Maintenance Once per month Five stars kk +Most people sneer heavily when they smile and over time this causes the nostrils to +shorten and become upturned It looks ugly Compressing the nostrils the alar portion of the +nasalis the dilator naris and the compressor naris will reverse this Also compress the muscle +under the nose the depressor septi with a knuckle or tool In addition you might put a towel +down on the floor and press your nose into it resting the weight of your head on it Point the +tip of the nose downwards and rock back and forth to massage and compress tissues +throughout the nose +We all have a lowgrade perpetual sneer burned into our facial musculature All our lips are +slightly curled due to this tension Most people retain the coordination to relax the muscles +involved but choose not to because it makes them feel uglier remember feeling like some +kind of repulsive zombiepig when relaxed mine By tensing the area we apologize for and +cover up the appearance of strained muscle But over time this only makes it worse It is likely +that the only time you relax these muscles is when you are exceedingly angry Work on resting +the sneer throughout the day and disregard any reservations you might have about how you +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +look while doing this Compressing the levator labii will remove the knots from your sneer and +make it look natural to stop sneering +People who raise dogs for dogfighting abuse them to get them to sneer They punch pinch +or cut the dog repeatedly until it learns to bare its teeth immediately upon provocation +They want the dog to live in a mental world where baring its teeth is the first reaction to any +form of stress This makes the dog mean When a problem dog learns to bare its teeth at +people nipping and then biting soon follow By relaxing and compressing your sneering +muscles you deprogram this reaction From experience have come to believe that once the +muscles that lift the upper lip are no longer tense the brains circuits for frustration and +aggression are keyed down +The Mouth and Lips Orbicularis Oris +The right and left corners of the mouth are the point of attachment for muscles throughout the +face Muscles extending from the nose cheeks jaw and chin all anchor into these two corners +The bracing of our mouths and lips orbicularis oris is almost imperceptible It is a subtle +pouting that over years makes your lips thinner and your mouth appear shriveled As you age +continuous pursing of the lips causes vertical wrinkles Massage halts this +Illustration Mouth and lip massage +Facial Massage Compression Exercise Orbicularis Oris +Press your knuckles firmly into your lips Focus on the lips themselves and the areas above +and below them Especially focus on the corners of your mouth You can also squeeze these +areas between your thumb and forefinger placing one on the face and the other inside the +mouth Compression and percussion here will make your lips healthier looking Compression +of the skin all around the lip area will give it a rejuvenated shape +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +Facial Massage Exercise Risorius and Buccinator +The risorius and buccinator are two other muscles involved in smiling They pull the corners +of the lips outward horizontally Note the anatomical location of these muscles and compress +and percuss them to make your face leaner and more muscular Freeing these muscles +up and enabling them to contract fully could help you develop prominent dimples and +smile lines +The Jaw Masseter +The masseter muscles that allow us to control our jaws are typically very tight That tension can +cause significant pain restrict range of motion and prevent the muscles from growing in +response to chewing For many people the muscles are so tense that they are slow to release +expect this exercise to yield significant results only after several months You also need to be +careful to massage relatively gently here to avoid damaging the salivary glands that lie on top of +the masseter muscles The results will be worth it though In addition to relieving the pain +tension and discomfort youll enjoy increased jaw definition +Deep +Masseter +Superficial +Masseter +illustration Jaw massage +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Facial Massage Exercise Deep Masseter +Start by tucking the backs of your wrists between your ear and the corners of your jaw and +throat see first image above Allow the weight of your head to settle onto your wrists You +will likely feel substantial discomfort Use deep diaphragmatic breathing to make the +discomfort bearable and rest the heads entire weight on the back of your wrists It took me +four months of this to wipe this pain away completely +Facial Massage Exercise Superficial Masseter +Compress the entire masseter with a knuckle or tool Also focus on compressing the front +face of the masseter by pressing your knuckles into the front facing aspect of your jawbone +last picture below This will awaken the dormant muscle there and cause it to metabolize +fat from your lower cheeks making your face leaner +Under the Jaw Platysma +Poor neck posture and failing to contract the muscles under the jaw makes these muscles weak +and tight Speaking in a high tense voice may also cause them to become taught and atrophy +As that happens substantial deposits of fat begin to accumulate under the jaw If you can +release these muscles your double chin or jowls will shrink or disappear and your +jawline will become much more highly defined The result will lend an athletic and +aesthetically pleasing look to your whole face These muscles release and improve in +appearance very rapidly +Stylohyoid +Digastric +Platysma Mylohyoid +Sternocleido +mastoid +Illustration Underthejaw massage +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +Facial Massage Exercise Platysma +Use a fingertip to press into the crease between your neck and jawline This is the platysma +There are many other muscles in this general area under the chin that would benefit from +being compressed such as the mylohyoid and digastric To find and release them feel around +for hard and sore areas and press into them gently +Facial Massage Exercise NeckJaw Interface +Behind the corner of the jaw just under the ear there is a very tense area implicated in neck +strain and temporomandibular joint disorder This area contains parts of a number of +muscles including the platysma sternocleidomastoid digastric stylohyoid mylohyoid and +others You should be able to find this large grouping of knots an inch directly under the ear +Press into it with your fingertips and knuckles but be prepared to make this a longterm +project +The Chin Mentalis Depressor Anguli Oris Depressor Labii Inferioris +Compressing the muscles in your chin will help it look lean and muscular However be advised +that it may also reduce the chins overall size as these muscles metabolize the surrounding fat +had a painful knot of hard muscle in my depressor labii inferioris the size of a tootsie roll +Weekly compression made it smaller and smaller until it was unnoticeable Again this muscle is +responsible for the cryface seen in apes and humans There is practically no scientific study on +the muscular aspects of the cryface so wont even speculate on what removing these painful +knots has done for my psyche However imagine that it is overwhelmingly positive +entalis Depressor +Anguli Oris +Depressor +Labii Inferio +Jon +Ve e +Illustration Chin massage +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Facial Massage Exercise The Chin +Compress the mentalis the depressor anguli oris and the depressor labii inferioris with +knuckles or tools +Keep at It +The exercises above may seem timeconsuming but focus on the ones you find most interesting +or potentially helpful After a bit of practice theyll become automatic and you will find +yourself doing them while watching TV or reading The slower your diaphragmatic breathing is +the easier it will be to release the muscles Given the easy rapid results experienced +am amazed facial muscle release regimens are not widespread have concluded that without +diaphragmatic breathing tense muscles are too recalcitrant to make such a regimen feasible +The main thing is to keep at it Each exercise above provides suggested durations for +achieving and maintaining results but those are just guidelines The only real standard is how +you feel how your face looks and how your moods and thought patterns are affected Give +each exercise at least a few weeks before reaching a verdict experimenting with different tools +and small changes in pressure angle and rhythm Youll soon find a method that works best +for you +Benefits to Your Skin +In addition to the myofascial release that youre expecting by now facial selfmassage has an +additional benefit as well cosmetic improvements to your skin Skincare is a huge industry +with hundreds of millions of people trying to achieve a clear even skin tone using tanning +moisturizers toners serums lasers masks and surgical treatments These can become +extremely technical and remarkably expensive They also mostly fail to address the root cause +of skin problems our skin is designed to handle a great deal of contact and use It becomes stiff +and unhealthy without physical stimulation +When the face is not handled tugged or pulled for many years in a row the system of +blood vessels or vasculature slowly diminishes The result is a pale sallow appearance that +accentuates the prominence of moles freckles and wrinkles The exercises presented in this +chapter lightly stretch your skin causing the creation of small blood vesselsa process +known as angiogenesis Angiogenesis will make your skin darker healthier younger +and more evenly toned The mechanical sheer forces also cause very slight damage to +cutaneous and subcutaneous tissues prompting the rebuilding and revitalization of countless +dermal structures +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +Benefits to the Structure of Your Face +Selfmassage affects your facial muscles shape and structure which means it shares some +similarity with treatments like cosmetic surgery and Botox injection Botox paralyzes the +muscle decreasing tone and metabolic activity thereby temporarily decreasing the strain +muscles are under It is popular because it makes a face appear relaxed and reduces the +appearance of wrinkles As discussed in the previous chapter it also has positive emotional +effects For instance it can reduce negative emotions and susceptibility to crying Botox has +downsides however The paralysis prevents muscles from contracting which vastly reduces the +flow of blood oxygen and nutrients to them That in turn causes the muscles to atrophy and +become weak Besides these underlying problems Botox and cosmetic surgery create an +artificial look that many people can recognize Also Botox cannot be injected near the eyes +because there is a risk it could leak into and paralyze the ocular muscles that control eye +movements +Your most beautiful face is not the one that a cosmetic surgeon can give you They will +attempt to create a face that fooks muscular lean and without tension without actually giving +you any of these things The surgeons needles and scalpel traumatize soft tissues reduce blood +flow and damage muscles without doing anything to reduce strain Even the most skilled +surgeon cannot come close to creating an allnatural look This is a limitation inherent in their +procedures tools and techniques +Compression comes with none of these risks and harms and it costs nothing It does take +longer and it can be uncomfortable but it has much more dramatic authentic and longer +lasting effects Furthermore surgery and Botox crimp facial expressions whereas compression +grants you greater control over them For example my chin and cheeks moved sluggishly +before with a reduced range of motion Now they are surprisingly brisk and nimble More than +this muscular release just feels good Today smile wider and more frequently than ever +have but my facial wrinkles are less pronounced That and numerous other observations have +suggested to me that wrinkles in the skin dont necessarily come from using the muscles +Rather wrinkles are more likely to form over strained dormant muscle Scientists have long +questioned what it is that constitutes physical beauty The academic consensus now points to +smooth skin wellproportioned features the appearance of youth symmetry and being close +to the population averageness More than these other criteria think that the absence of +facial muscle strain is the primary determinate of attractiveness In fact the extent of facial +tension can probably be seen as a marker of the status hierarchy that we wear on our faces +Be Dominant but not Domineering +As your face become less tense you will become more dominant As your composure improves +people in your life as well as people on the street will be more respectful Because of this you +might notice that you start to desire respect and even submissive displays from others You will +inevitably find yourself asserting your will over others in an arrogant way whether +inadvertently or not You might find yourself holding your head high looking above the eye line +with a perfectly calm face until another person feels compelled to look down You might stare +at a stranger on the street until they look away This is not good or just Keeping a stolid +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +composure is good but you will generate animosity if you intentionally elicit subordination +displays from others +If you combine your reprogrammed displays with rude comments and antagonizing +behavior there will be a backlash This could result in losing a best friend or literally being +mauled in the street by strangers This is an immensely serious point Be humbler than you +were before If you are going to walk around without sneering or raising your eyebrows +retaining humility is imperative The person that carries a big stick and speaks loudly must +choose their words carefully +Before my face belonged to everyone else They knew this and they toyed with it +My default facial expression was what they made it Today my face belongs to me What will +you do with your face now that you have a choice in the matter +Conclusion +A few years ago my cat got into an unhealthy habit of showing me with his face how hungry +he was His cries would be accompanied by pitiful facial wincing His eyes would become tight +and his whole face would crinkle up When saw it my face would empathically do the same +It pulled at my heartstrings Here is a species removed from humans by million years of +evolution that uses remarkably similar facial signaling for distress Of course started feeding +him more regularly but also started massaging his face +Every few weeks hold him in my lap and use my knuckles to gently press into his orbits +cheeks nose and jawline It was uncomfortable for him at first He found it the most +uncomfortable when used my thumbs to raise and press into his upper lips Clearly his sneer +like mine was strained After four or five sessions could tell that it had become painless for +him He never makes those deplorable faces anymore and people regularly comment on his +poise and beauty He showed dramatic aesthetic facial improvements even though did not +begin this routine with him until age +Figure A My cat Niko at age B Niko again at Both pictures exhibit a lack of facial tension +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +recommend that people consider releasing the facial muscles not only of their pets but +also of their spouses and children As in the pruning of a bonsai the sooner you can begin your +manipulations the more dramatic the effects will be The exercises above act as a guide but +you really want to compress every square inch of your face When you have found an area of +your face or spine that is tender and sore to gentle pressure you have uncovered a gold mine +You have discovered a location that when rehabilitated will allow personal and spiritual +growth You will experience decreased chronic stress improved sleep the release of emotional +tension and better autonomic balance Whether you are a child an elderly person or anything +in between implore you to compress all the pain out of your face +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Deep tissue compression and percussion will reduce bracing dormancy and hypertonia +in your facial muscles +e Pressing firmly into any muscles that ache while breathing diaphragmatically will pull +them out of partial contraction making you more attractive and better composed +e Massaging your face will make it so that you rarely experience social fatigue and so that +your resting face is inviting and receptive +e Your facial muscles will become more prominent and will have increased range +of motion +e Your skin and facial definition will improve Your face will appear leaner and will have +reduced pain and inflammation +e Your neutral resting face will become authentic and it will be easier to be +expressionless +e Being expressionless and keeping a stolid composure is empowering However keep in +mind that you will generate animosity if you use your composure to elicit subordination +displays from others +e Aside from the physical benefits there are emotional benefits as well because you are +wiping out the lowgrade wincing and frowning and the related microexpressions +Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension +Chapter Endnotes +Eckman P Emotions revealed Henry Holt and Co +Havas D A Glenberg A M Gutowski K A Lucarelli M J Davidson R J +Cosmetic use of botulinum toxinA affects processing of emotional language Psychological +Science +Valentine T Darling S Donnelly M Why are average faces attractive +The effect of view and averageness on the attractiveness of female faces Psychonomic Bulletin +Review +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +Theres daggers in mens smiles Shakespeare +The quote above from Macbeth hints at some of the complexity and ambiguity of the smile +You might be used to thinking of the smile as something fairly simple an expression of +happiness or affection And youre right but it is much more than that Smiles play a nuanced +and highly variable role in social interaction They are central to how we present ourselves are +loaded with contextdependent meaning and are used to display our intentions and feelings +whether honestly or otherwise +Smiles are also controlled by some of the same facial muscles that youve been working +hard to free from bracing for the last two chapters Leaving those muscles braced will make +your smile frail and submissive and make it harder to connect positively with others Relieving +them from tension and then strengthening them under diaphragmatic conditions will make +your smile beam Before we dive into the exercises you can use to do that it will help to have a +look at how and why animals smile +The Origins of the Smile +The smile has a convoluted but fascinating origin In most mammals drawing back the lips to +reveal the teeth is done in preparation for biting Baring the teeth keeps the animal from biting +into its lips It is also used as a flash of the fangs warning other animals that it is angry +When accompanied by a growl it is called a snarl Thus revealing the teeth is an expression of +blatant aggression or the intention to take a bite In primates the signal is more complicated +In monkeys lifting the top lip communicates that the displaying animal feels threatened +This often occurs when the animal is cornered trapped or cannot take flight In nearly all +primates the startle reflex is accompanied by a grin mouth corner retraction and a shrill +vocalization This reflexive grinandshriek pattern communicates that the animal is +jeopardized or intimidated As you can see baring the teeth is tied to the neural circuits +responsible for fight or flight The flash of the teeth especially teeth held together is used to +appease dominant group members exclaiming am stressed but my mouth is closed and +am willing to submit It is a selfhandicapping signal and an admission of fear As submission +increases the gaze is averted the ears are drawn back and the lips are retracted further both +horizontally and vertically revealing more of the teeth and even parts of the gums This can be +contrasted with the facial response associated with anger As anger increases the stare widens +the ears are brought forward and the lips are contracted obscuring the teeth +In short fear is associated with displaying the teeth and dominance with concealing them +In many monkey species if a dominant male chases a subordinate and the subordinate grins +expressing fear the dominant animal will relent stop chasing and leave them alone +If the dominant male were to grin by contrast the subordinate would approach and embrace +him Thus the precise function of the signal is contextbound +Things get even more complicated when we narrow the field to our closest relatives +the great apes Among apes baring the teeth can serve a range of purposes depending on the +situation and what other expressions are involved Like the human smile an apes grin can +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +function to show submission attempt appeasement or solicit affection A quick grin is often +flashed between social equals Chimpanzees for instance can often be seen grinning at each +other before they embrace A silent baredteeth expression is usually associated with assurance +and affiliation A relaxed face with an open mouth baring the bottom teeth is associated +with play +So where a monkeys grin communicates either surprise or insecurity humans and other +apes have generalized and expanded the expression to convey compliance affiliation and play +However because it has its origins in fear and appeasement even the human smile is +neurologically linked to distressed breathing and the sympathetic system In other words +our smiles carry within them both the positive and negative signals that were inherited from +our ape ancestors Consequently they do not automatically communicate goodwill This is +unfortunate because it means that fun and affection can be intrinsically tied to stress +The exercises in this chapter will teach you how to dissociate this negativity from your smile +aA +Illustration A Baboon baring the teeth B Chimpanzee making a threat display Chimpanzee with a +friendly grin +Why Our Smiles Are Tainted +We can start by reviewing how our smiles come to be linked to negative emotions in the first +place Consider the people who have the best most reliable smiles models cheerleaders +professional greeters or frontdesk staff These are people who have been expected to keep +unflinching smiles on their faces for hours at a time At first the experience must have been +uncomfortable for many of them causing defensive nervous breathing Over time though +these professional smilers would have had no choice but to learn to breathe sustainably while +smiling leading to the gradual pairing of relaxed breathing with their grins This is what want +for you +Most of us dont possess that healthy link because we have never had to smile consistently +for long periods Without that kind of training a smile typically speeds up our heart rates +makes our breathing shallow places stress on our vocal cords and activates trigger points in +our faces The social smiling behavior of humans is often nervous and compulsory For instance +we smile when something awkward happens because we feel like we have to Because most of +us routinely pair smiling with distressed breathing we have badly strained smiling muscles and +offer insincere uncomfortable smiles +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +Dominant people are less likely to smile and more likely to frown On average bosses and +managers smile less often than their employees for instance Highstatus individuals are +permitted to display their negative emotions more freely and are not expected to provide +appeasement displays to the people around them On the other hand lowstatus people are +expected to stifle negative and competitive feelings and actively display signs of affiliation +Studies have found that lowranking children smile more when approaching highranking +children than high rankers do when approaching low rankers Studies also show that smiling is +commonly associated with approval seeking and low social status in adults In children it is +associated with low peer toughness ratings In light of such relationships smiling is often +taken for weakness +Several studies have found that women prefer men who dont smile Other researchers +discovered that in mixed martial arts the fighter who smiles less during the weighin is more +likely to win the match However the researchers in both cases were indiscriminate about the +type of smile they looked forthey didnt distinguish between healthy assertive smiles and +sheepish startled submissive ones An assertive optimal smile is highly attractive and would +likely predict victory in a fight Smiling indicates social weakness only if the smiling muscles are +strained and if smiling automatically recruits distressed breathing Retraining your smile by +pairing it with diaphragmatic breathing will make it so that your smile does not drain you but is +instead effortless and empowering +Smile Exercises +When was a very young child my grandmother told my mother that she was concerned about +me because she could not perceive any joy in my smile Some early experiences had caused me +to pair smiling with shallow breathing and my smile always appeared puny melancholy and +forced Chimps from the same group will show great variation in their capacity for smiling +Some smile feebly and yet other demonstrate gingival smiles showing their gums In my +twenties started working toward that healthy smile decided to spend time smiling intensely +to build up my smiling muscles would go on long walks or watch entire movies smiling widely +the whole time Most of the time was also squinting and breathing shallowly but even so +achieved noticeable results within a few weeks After ten cumulative hours of smiling widely +my face looked bigger and stronger my cheeks were more muscular and my smile was more +believable +Two close friends on separate occasions commented on the increased size of my smile +Then they told me to smile more widely still When tried they each said No smile up +higher couldnt They made a disappointed face and dropped the subject They were +disappointed because even though was able to build lower sections of my smiling muscles the +section closest to the tendon that anchors into the cheekbone the section with the biggest +potential for growth had not grown This higher section where the zygomatic muscle attaches +to the cheek didnt respond to the exercise because it was dormant After diligently practicing +the facial massage Exercise from the last chapter was able to smile up into my +cheekbones The before and after pictures below illustrate the difference +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Figure A My smile at age looks sour and unsustainable have rings under my eyes thick lower eyelids +upturned nostrils deep marionette lines heavy sneering and the bulk of the smile is located around my nose +rather than on my cheekbones B By each of those patterns has been reversed The change resulted from +gradually massaging away the tension and pain and strengthening the smiling muscles using firm contractions and +deep breathing +The massage of your zygomatic muscles described in Chapter is complemented by the +following musclebuilding exercise +Smiling Exercise Smiling Big with Calm Breathing +Smile as widely as you can Keep your face expressionless beyond the contractions involved in smiling +and carefully check that you arent squinting or raising your eyebrows There should be no hint of +apology or embarrassment in your smile Practice paced breathing throughout the exercise noting +when the smile makes you want to breathe shallowly You should notice that at first smiling big +practically takes your breath away Also notice how as you impose diaphragmatic breathing over the +smile for several minutes you can relax into a larger and larger smile +You should feel your smiling muscles quiver and falter but if you can smile through this it will +become more enduring and invariable This will tone enlarge and strengthen the muscles and help +them contract effortlessly without provoking your sympathetic nervous system When your muscles +reach exhaustion and start to burn allow them to rest for at least a minute In addition massaging +them after they reach exhaustion is a great way to stimulate regeneration recovery and growth +Smiling as wide as could stretched my lips so much that they would become chapped or +even crack after doing the exercise above Dont get discouraged by this Gentle smiling for +a few minutes a day will stretch your lips back to their optimal length over a few weeks +Smiling Activity Waxing and Waning a Smile +A genuine smile grows gradually and evenly Sit in front of a mirror and practice growing a smile Start +with a very small smile and expand it over for five to seconds until you have the biggest smile you +can muster Then over the same period practice letting the smile fade until your expression is +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +neutral again You will notice discontinuities where the expansion and relaxation jump in a jerky +fashion Focus on ironing out those irregularities in the movement making the progression as smooth +as possible Most people find a steady slowgrowing smile captivating +Smiling Activity Variants of Diaphragmatic Smiling +Normally every time we smile it follows the same inflexible pattern To vary the dynamics of your +smile practice the following +Smile as widely as you can with and without showing your teeth +Smile with your teeth lightly clenched +Smile with your top teeth visible and your bottom lip placed against them +Smile with both sets of teeth fully revealed and your mouth slightly open +Smile with both sets of teeth fully revealed and with your mouth wide open +Smile while gradually squinting the eyes into a full squint then gradually release them to wide +eyes Repeat +Smile while slowly raising the eyebrows all the way then slowly lower them until they are +fully relaxed Repeat +Smile while chewing +Smiling Exercise Smiling While Reading Out Loud +Some people can smile comfortably while they talk but most cannot The ability to do it convincingly +is so rare and so striking that its practically a superpower If you have not been acclimated it is very +awkward Read a few pages of a book out loud while smiling Practice diaphragmatic breathing +inhaling completely and reading aloud until you are out of breath The ability to smile while speaking +is easily attained and improved in this way After a total of five hours of practice all your friends will +notice the difference +Smiling Activity Eye Contact with a Smile +Sit in front of a mirror and use your reflection to model prolonged eye contact with another person +Smile Keep your smile wide and your expression open It will feel incredibly goofy but only for the +first few minutes +You can also model the initiation of smiling eye contact To do this start by looking away at or above +your eye line Make the calmest face you can and then look yourself in the eyes for a second while +keeping your expression neutral Over the next few seconds gradually grow a heartfelt smile while +continuing to make eye contact Hold both your gaze and your smile for several seconds Repeat +After you have practiced this exercise in a mirror try it with a friend +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Isolate Your Smile +One of the rewards of maintaining a smile for several minutes while breathing +diaphragmatically is the involuntary relaxation of muscles you dont need but that you normally +tense up while smiling Within a minute or two youll feel the tension in muscles all around +your face head and neck start to ease The process will gradually isolate your actual smile from +the facial contortions that typically accompany it That isolation has significant benefits Usually +some different muscles are involved in smiling when you stop smiling many of those +muscles remain tense because the smile forced latent trigger points within them to become +active This is part of why smiling causes many people to lose their composure quickly which +can make them reluctant to smile at all +Oy cd +IMlustration The first column shows a zygomatic smile and the zygomaticus muscles that underlie it +The second shows the risorius and buccinator muscles and their contribution to the smile The third shows the +sneer and the muscles that contribute to it Try to use more of the first two and less of the third in your smile +Completely relax the sneer the squint and the eyebrow raise when you practice +diaphragmatic smiling You want to contract only the muscles needed zygomatic risorius +and buccinator At first your isolated smile will look and feel uncomfortable and you might +feel like a kooky weirdo It might also feel sarcastic or counterfeit With time though this will +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +become your preferred way of smiling In essence the expression youre practicing takes the +expressionless face we developed in Chapter and places a smile on top of it The longer you +breathe calmly while holding that isolated smile the more natural and affable it will become +Reduce the Extent of Squinting When You Smile +There are many kinds of smiles Most famously midthcentury French neurologist Guillaume +Duchenne identified two types of smiles The first is a fake smile also called a Pan Am smile +named for the polite expressions worn by the now defunct airlines flight staff Second he +described an authentic or Duchenne smile that employs the orbicularis oculi muscles and +forms crows feet around the eyes Subsequent research has found that the Duchenne smile +with its associated crinkle of the eyes is more closely associated with positive emotions That +has led some scientists to assume that to elicit happiness smiles must include heavy squinting +disagree +In my experience emotionally damaged people often squint the hardest when they smile +and emotionally healthy people squint the least Methodically reducing the extent of your +squinting will reduce eye strain without making your smile any less authentic Work on smiling +without much squinting without raising your eyebrows and more generally without +contracting anywhere but in the smiling muscles themselves Using the exercises from the last +chapter to massage your forehead and the orbits of your eyes will help with this It will also +help you develop the ability to smile big all the way up the sides of your cheeks without +squinting much at all If you had been raised in an ideal utopian environment with no threats +thats how you would smile It might look like the smile of a deranged clown right now But +thats okay because it will become splendid once you become accustomed to doing it while +breathing with your diaphragm +Smiling Exercise Smile without Squinting +Practice making the biggest smile you can muster You might allow it to pour into your cheeks and +eyes but do so without squinting To minimize squinting you can monitor your eyelids in the mirror +or place a finger under each eye To do this make a peace sign with your hand extending the middle +and forefinger Place them just under each eye on the orbital bone Squint a few times and become +accustomed to how the muscles move under your fingertips when you squint You will feel a mass of +tissue bunch up Continue smiling using your fingers to ensure you arent squinting You might want +to combine this form of smiling with the upsidedown TV watching exercise from Chapter +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration A Smile with heavy squinting B Using the fingertips to sense squinting contractions C Smile +without squinting +In Chapter described my efforts to remain calm while babysitting a twoyearold That +day sat next to some blocks and pretended to play with them lifting them stacking them +and passing them to the little girl used a completely isolated wideeyed smile that would +have looked wacky to anyone over the age of three She saw it she sensed that my breathing +was calm she liked the way was sharing the blocks in a respectful way and so she +reciprocated the same smile Within a few minutes lost all concern that she was judgmentally +inspecting my smile We played for hours with these silly calm little smiles By the time her +parents came home our smiles had gone from kooky to credible and have been able to utilize +that same relaxed smile in the company of adults ever since +It might help you to find a safe situation in which to practice your new smile You might +work on your calm smile with a stuffed animal a pet or even a friend you have recruited to +help you After practicing in these situations you can start to generalize this ability to situations +that feel less safe like running errands or sitting in traffic This is another case in which we can +benefit from a fake it until you make it approach If you dont create concocted social +environments where you feel perfectly comfortable smiling carefree you will never do it Like +Schopenhauer was cynical in my belief that life or other people was not creating these +optimal scenarios for me It is our responsibility to create them for ourselves and to share them +with others +Creating Dimples and Smile Lines Contracting the Risorius and Buccinator +It is important to incorporate a full contraction of the risorius and buccinator muscles into your +smile Both pull your lips horizontally The risorius muscles lie about an inch below your +cheekbone anchoring to the corner of your mouth on one side and the soft tissue of your +cheek on the other The nearby buccinator muscles aid in the risorius smile as well as in +whistling puckering and chewing previously used my risorius and buccinator muscles very +little in my smile When fully contracted them they made my smile look pretentious and +fraudulent took this as an indication that needed to use them more The muscles were very +tense and if pressed my knuckle into them it was painful have since rehabilitated them with +compression and contraction making them much stronger leaner and painless +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +never had dimples or smile lines in the past as the first photo at the beginning of this +chapter evinces Genetic testing revealed that do not have the genetic markers associated +with dimples But exercising the risorius and buccinator muscles has given me somewhat +pronounced smile linesdimples This surprised me It even surprised my mom was and +was spending time with her for the first time in months when she said Oh my you have +dimples now Is that from a specific Program Peace exercise My experience suggests to me +that everyone can develop them At first your dimple beds the pockets between the +contracted risorius muscles and the jaw muscles may be completely covered by the fatty tissue +in your cheeks Contract the risorius and then use your fingers to search for this pocket It may +be filled in with fat now but as your smiling muscles grow it will slowly come to form a +depressiona dimple +Smiling Exercise Risorius Smiling +Smile in the following ways +Smile with only the risorius muscle To do this your smile should not be drawn upward +toward the cheekbone at all Only draw it horizontally Try to contract the muscle fully and to +exhaustion That contraction will turn into a friendly polite smile that you can use all the +time You can offer a solemn but polite greeting by accompanying this smile with a slightly +lifted chin created by contracting the mentalis +Incorporate the buccinators into your risorius smile To do this squeeze the risorius smile +as hard as you can forcing the buccinators to contract Youll know youre succeeding when +you feel the inside of your cheeks pressing against your teeth The more you exercise these +muscles the leaner your cheeks will become and the more pronounced your smile lines or +dimples will be +Creating a Muscular Smile Contracting the Zygomatic Muscle +The most important smiling muscle is the zygomaticus major It connects the corners of your +mouth to your cheekbones The muscle is likely to be feeble and feel uncomfortable when +isolated at first However contracting it firmly will gradually create noticeable lumps of muscle +under your cheekbones that appear when you smile Many famous actors have welldeveloped +zygomatic muscles and in women they tend to be much larger Conditioning the zygomatic +muscles will make your smile unambiguous and make your face leaner and friendlier +Smiling Exercise Zygomatic Smiling +Smile with only the zygomatic muscle leaving the risorius and buccinators relaxed To do +this pull the corners of your mouth diagonally upward toward your cheekbones a sneer +pulls the lips up vertically the risorius pulls them out horizontally believe the zygomatic +smile is more draining than the risorius smile because it is more closely tied to the stress +system The more you pair it with diaphragmatic breathing the less effortful it will be to use +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Repeated rhythmic contractions as in Exercise can also help build muscle tone and +coordination Instead of holding a prolonged contraction you may consider performing +rapid zygomatic and risorius contractions +Illustration A Each of the muscles involved in smiling is anchored at the corners of the mouth The two +zygomatic muscles stretch up to the cheekbone the risorius extends laterally toward the side of the face and the +buccinator is the large muscle underneath the others B Zygomatic exercises will help strengthen the muscles +centered around the cheekbone C D Risorius and buccinator exercises will increase the prominence and size of +smile lines andor dimples +As you practice the exercises in this chapter your entire cheek will become much leaner +and more muscular giving the impression of a long history of relaxed confident smiling People +will see this and implicitly assume that you are a happy person who has been smiling healthfully +all their life When you exercise the smiling muscles you may notice other facial muscles +reaching fatigue before your smiling muscles due to their relative lack of exercise This is most +likely to be a problem with the heavily strained sneering muscles Luckily the issue is fairly +simple to address +Refrain from Sneering +In my twenties a friend told me that smile like the Grinch It hurt to hear but he was right +My sickening smile was perverted from the repetitive strain of muscles around my nose +These included the three pairs of levator labii muscles which run along the sides of the nose +from the height of the eyes down to the lip They work in tandem to lift the upper lip and reveal +the canines +As you know revealing the upper teeth is a threat display in most primates Chimps bare +their top teeth in a grin when they are frightened uncertain or uncomfortable It often means +they are ready to fight Interestingly baring the teeth during a fight is a sign of uncertainly and +fear Highranking chimps seldom show their top teeth while lowranking animals frequently +do it All of this indicates to me that the muscles that lift the top lip are the smiling muscles +most closely associated with stress and submission Check the action of these muscles in the +mirror What do you think +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +Illustration A Muscles involved in sneering B Chimpanzee sneering C Girl sneering +Sneering is common in human infants For example all infants sneer in fear when they are +momentarily left alone by their mothers using the logic presented in Chapter this suggests a +link with grief Scientists believe older humans learn to inhibit the sneering reflex because +sneering is not accepted in polite society Most adults only knowingly sneer to communicate +disgust or disdain Much more accepted is an unconscious partial sneer bracing the sneering +muscles just slightly We see this in people who curl their lip for minutes at a time By doing +that they subject their muscles to repetitive strain Over time that leaves the muscles ina +state of partial contraction +The use of the sneering muscles amounts to a fascinating psychological complex When +trigger points within the sneer change from latent to active you become committed to a +negative emotion because it is now advertised on your face Once you know someone else has +seen your sneering muscles become tense it forces your hand You implicitly decide you must +either act scared or aggressive The activation of latent trigger points within the sneering +muscles is the incendiary event in many negative confrontations Since using massage to +obliterate the trigger points in my sneering and frowning muscles have been virtually free of +heated reactions previously thought my anger was unjustly provoked by others but now +realize was allowing others to activate latent trigger points in my sneering muscles and it was +this that compelled me to react prematurely and discourteously +If you can release the tension in your levator labii it will make your resting face appear less +guarded Some people will not be able to tell whether you look unguarded because you are +friendly or because you are angry This is because dominant people often completely release +the levator labii when provoked Thus when you let this muscle relax you will either appear +calm and angelic or calm and dangerous Your other postures and actions will determine which +The first step in making your sneerless expression noncombative is becoming more aware of +the tension in your sneering muscles which you can do using the activity below +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Smiling Activity Sneer Awareness +Sit stand or kneel in front of a mirror It is best to have a light overhead that casts a shadow over +your marionette lines nasolabial folds so that you can see them move Play around with the sneering +muscles that lift and curl your upper lip Practice making the smallest sneer and the largest sneer that +you can Transition gradually between them Become aware of the sensation of sneering slightly and +how that differs from not sneering at all Pretend to say something rude to an acquaintance and +notice how you maintain a light sneer afterward Just as you want to stop squinting and raising the +eyebrows chronically you want to end your chronic sneer +When people see that your sneering muscle is relaxed they will try to imitate this Unless +they have practiced it and massaged the muscles they will likely not be able to do it +comfortably for long This is because once the sneer is relaxed even a slight emotional +aggravation can make this tense muscle snap back to full contraction reflexively Thus you may +find that people flash sneers at you inadvertently Just ignore this keep your sneering muscles +calm and continue being kind +Be particularly aware of the presence of the sneer in your smile Strained sneering muscles +cause us to smile when we are nervouswe use the smile to cover up the sneer In fact a +strained sneer tarnishes our every smile Our smile has become conflated with our sneer +and often even we dont know whether we are sneering or smiling see the first picture of me +above The exercise below will help guide you to use the risorius and zygomatic muscles +without using the levator labii to create a sneerless smile +Smiling Activity A Sneerless Smile +Sit stand or kneel in front of a mirror Look carefully at your lips Raise the corners of your mouth +while the center of your top lip stays still This involves using your risorius muscle to draw the corners +of your lips outward horizontally and using the zygomatic muscle to raise them diagonally Do this +without squinting or sneering Ensure that you are not sneering by keeping the center of your top lip +cupids bow neutral +You can also monitor your sneer with your fingers To do this make a peace sign with your hand +extending the middle and forefingers Place them just to the side of each nostril Sneer a few times +and become accustomed to how the muscles move under your fingertips You will feel the skin rise +Return to smiling without sneering using your fingers to track your success +The sneerfree smile will look ridiculous at first but the more you pair it with diaphragmatic +breathing the more sincere it will feel to you and the more genuine it will appear to others +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +Rea e +MHL Le +Ilustration A Smile with heavy sneering B Using the fingertips to sense sneering contractions +C Smile without sneering +Smiling Exercise A Sneering Smile +You dont want to stop using your sneering muscles entirely In this exercise practice making the +most intense sneer you can This time do not smile Ensure that your top lip is maximally curled and +that you are showing as much of your top and bottom teeth as possible It will continue to feel like +you are performing a barbaric threat display until you can breathe diaphragmatically while doing it +This exercise will allow you to pull your upper lip higher and do so with more force It will also help +strengthen your sneering muscle and clear out the trigger points giving you greater control and +separating your sneer from the activation of your stress system +Smiling Activity Crinkling the Nose +Crinkling the nose adds a momentary sneer into your smile but that can be a good thing Crinkling for +about half of a second adds affection and dynamism to the expression Spend a few minutes smiling +in front of the mirror while intermittently crinkling your nose Try looking yourself in the eyes in the +mirror and say Its gonna be fun When you do this briefly crinkle your nose while you say the f +sound in the word fun Let it be playful and relaxed +Smile Dominantly +According to body language experts smiling with the brow lowered is extremely dominant +There is solid research indicating that leaders and people judged by others to have high +leadership aptitude are capable of smiling with a lowered brow This combination of a frown +and a smile has been called the Bill Clinton effect Experiments find that people rate those +who use it as particularly dominant and are more likely to vote for them for leadership +positions Most people have never actually tried it It takes a lot of time and confidence to +develop this socially Or you can just practice it by yourself for several minutes until it +is intrepid +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Smiling Exercise A Frowning Smile +Smile big without sneering or squinting Next frown by pulling the eyebrows together and down +toward the eyes Try to keep your eyes wide and hold this expression You might start in front of a +mirror and then practice in front of a TV You can use this expression to exclaim things like isnt that +mh +ironic what a coincidence or thats really amusing +We are all hesitant to smile optimally because we dont want to come across as inauthentic +or psychopathic We remember being afraid to smile around our parents grade school +teachers or bullies thinking they might misinterpret our expression as flippant or impudent +The good news is that this feeling will fade Smiling large carefree smiles made me feel like a +sinister demon or a sarcastic jester when first started Now it just makes me feel happy +Smiling Activity Smile with impunity +Spend a few minutes smiling just for yourself Notice your inclination to inhibit your smile +and recognize that the instinct comes from a petrifying fear that other people will +misperceive or misunderstand you Notice how you perceive your smile to be facetious or +vindictive Now let those misgivings go Perform the smiling exercises in this chapter +staunchly with full confidence that your smile is positive coming from a good place and will +be perceived as such by others +Conclusion +Buddhas contemporaries described him as eversmiling and portrayals of Buddha almost always depict him with +a smile on his face But rather than the smile of a selfsatisfied materiallyrich or celebrated man Buddhas smile +comes from a deep equanimity from within Mark K Setton +Genuine smiling induces the release of feelgood neurotransmitters like dopamine endorphins +and serotonin Thats part of why the intensity of our smiles in childhood photographs predicts +life satisfaction marriage stability and a longer lifespan Studies have found that even faked or +forced smiling can increase happiness and decrease depressive states Those studies dont +distinguish between genuine healthy smiles and forced strained ones Imagine how much +more dramatic the results would be if they had The lesson here is straightforward smiling +more and properly increases your standard of living +believe the best default facial posture is to have the entire face at rest except for a small +smile involving only the zygomatic risorius and buccinator muscles If you can direct this +toward others it will cause them to unconsciously imitate your smile This will lift their mood +and make them want to be around you Since performing these exercises regularly notice +strangers smiling at mesomething that was unusual before Every time this happens +wonder why they smiled at me and then realize it was because was smiling It can become so +effortless that you dont realize you are doing it +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +Smiling Exercise The Miniscule Smile +Practice holding the smallest smile you can With time this will create a new mode of operation for +you where you find yourself smiling for prolonged periods with very little effort It will look and feel +preposterous at first but coupling it with paced breathing will make it both renewable and +pleasurable After a few hours of training you will find that this smile arises on its own and slowly +turns you into a more optimistic and idealistic person +Fully contracting the muscles helps them grow but contracting them lightly and +continuously builds tone and comfort Do you sit in front of a computer during the day Turn on +your paced breathing app and smile Just make sure that you do not subject the muscles to +repetitive strain and dont forget to massage your face after long sessions of smiling Allow the +muscles intermittent rests especially once they reach fatigue Spend time smiling as you lie +down or fall asleep A resting smile may sound like an oxymoron but it shouldnt +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Inmonkeys baring the teeth is a threat and subordination display so the smile is +intrinsically tied to the stress system +e Oursmiles have become tainted by repetitive strain and the smiling muscles are stuck +in partial contraction full of trigger points and painful Our tight braced smiles arent +happytheyre just submissive and tense +e Contracting the smiling muscles completely while breathing diaphragmatically and then +compressing the muscles afterward will reverse the bracing +e solating and fully contracting the zygomatic risorius and buccinator muscles will +improve your smile +e Careful practice will enable you to remove the squint eyebrow raise and sneer from +your smile freeing it to be a purely positive expression +e Practicing a smile while making eye contact with yourself in front of a mirror will help +you smile while making eye contact with others +e Practicing smiling while reading out loud will help you smile while speaking to others +e As often as possible practice wearing either the biggest or the tiniest smile that +you can +Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile +Chapter Endnotes +Pennisi E The snarls and sneers that keep violence at bay Science +Fridlund A J Human facial expression An evolutionary view Academic Press +ChevalierSkolnikoff S Facial expression of emotion in nonhuman primates +In P Ekman Ed Darwin and facial expression A century of research in review pp +Malor Books +LaFrance M Hect M A Option or obligation to smile The effects of power and +gender on facial expression In P Phillipot R S Feldman E J Coars Eds The social context +of nonverbal behavior pp Cambridge University Press +Messinger D S Fogel A Dickson K All smiles are positive but some smiles are +more positive than others Developmental Psychology +Petersen R M Dubuc C Higham J P Facial displays of dominance in +nonhuman primates In Senior C Ed The facial displays of leaders pp +Palgrave Macmillan +Senior C The facial displays of leadership A systematic review of the literature +In C Senior Ed The facial displays of leaders pp Palgrave MacMillan +Campbell R Benson P J Wallace S B Doesbergh S Coleman M More +about brows How poses that change brow position affect perceptions of gender Perception +Abel E Kruger M Smile intensity in photographs predicts longevity +Psychological Science +FreitasMagalhdes A Castro E Facial expression The effect of the smile in the +treatment of depression Empirical study with Portuguese subjects In A FreitasMagalhades +Ed Emotional expression The brain and the face pp University Fernando +Pessoa Press +Hatfield E Cacioppo J T Rapson R L C Primitive emotional contagion +In M S Clark Ed Emotional and social behavior pp Sage Publications +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without +Pharyngeal Tension +The yogis life is not measured by the number of his days but by the number of his breaths +BKS lyengar +In Chapter we established the first four tenets of diaphragmatic breathing extend the +breath over longer intervals breathe deeper to increase the tidal range breathe at a +steady smooth rate and breathe assertively regardless of social pressure We also talked +about how if you are doing these things properly your inhalations should be recruiting your +diaphragm thereby pushing your belly out In Chapter we added the passive exhalation +pointing out that you can let your breathing muscles go limp on the outbreath to provide them +with a microbreak +Hopefully by now you have practiced these using a breath metronome and have learned +what paced diaphragmatic breathing feels like and how to sustain it You should feel +comfortable breathing for several minutes at a rate of around fivesecond inhalations and +sevensecond exhalations Perhaps you have advanced closer to eight and This chapter will +return to the topic of breathing offering further background and more breathing techniques to +complement what you have already learned +Stop Hyperventilating +remember being pulled around by the pressures and concerns of life Everything felt rapid +loud and urgent and would breathe fast and hard in an attempt to keep up with it all Then +when things slowed down and found myself in a quiet room with others my overbreathing +stuck out like a sore thumb They could hear me heaving taking two or three breaths for every +breath they took found it embarrassing but because my body had adapted to +hyperventilating there was little could do about it in the moment +Today many selfhelp breathing gurus tell their followers they are not inhaling enough air +and consequently are not getting enough oxygen The people giving this advice are mostly +confused It is overbreathing that is unhealthy and it is the rapid cycles of heavy inhaling and +exhaling that we want to stop This excessive breathing is called hyperventilation and results +in abnormally high oxygen levels and low levels of carbon dioxide This is why medical +personnel give people who are hyperventilating a paper bag to breathe into it depletes them +of oxygen Rebreathing exhaled carbon dioxide trapped in the paper bag helps them reduce +overoxygenation and quell their panic Inordinate oxygen intake can be just as bad as +insufficient oxygen intake Like overeating overbreathing amounts to too much of a +good thing +During stress thoracic breathing is accentuated to meet the anticipated increases in +oxygen demands If the anticipated event never arrives there is no increase in physical activity +and the extra oxygen is never used This is why hyperventilation leads to problems +During hyperventilation oxygen levels become so high that paradoxically many body tissues +are deprived of oxygen This is especially true in the brain leading to reduced neural and +mental function +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +A common criterion for hyperventilation is liters of air per minute and many people +breathe normally in this range Conventional medicine deems five to six liters of air per minute +at around milliliters of air per breath normal This would be about as much air in three +empty twoliter soft drink bottles It is likely that you like most people inhale significantly more +than this +was a chronic hyperventilator and was well acquainted with the symptoms dizziness +poor concentration muscle tension cramps irregular and rapid heartbeat tachycardia heart +pounding palpitations and gastrointestinal upset It is also strongly associated with nasal +congestion tightening of the airways fatigue tremor shakiness tight muscles stiffness +muscle pain weakness constriction of blood vessels asthma rhinitis and snoring Because +overbreathing is hard work it leads to exhaustion chest tightness and pain around the ribs +Hyperventilation also leads to feelings of breathlessness choking and smothering +Hyperventilation is thought to be a significant factor in medical conditions caused or +aggravated by mental stress psychosomatic diseases These include headaches backaches +nausea dry mouth sweaty palms insomnia ulcers and many others This may be partly +accounted for by the fact that hyperventilation increases the concentration of stress hormones +in the blood In one study a few minutes of hyperventilation increased adrenaline levels in +subjects by percent The diaphragmatic breathing retraining regimen outlined in this +chapter will reduce the amount you hyperventilate and potentially provide you with relief from +symptoms you didnt even realize you had +LSASALSASASASAS ASAI AS +IWAWAN +Figure A The first sine wave depicts shallow rapid breathing characteristic of anxiety B The second wave +depicts calmer deeper breathing at longer intervals C The third depicts a form of breathing that involves the +movement of a much smaller total volume of air Breathing less than usual in this way as an exercise can reduce +the tendency to hyperventilate Again the xaxis represents time and the yaxis represents the volume of air in +the lungs +The benefits of breathing less have been appreciated for a long time In the s Russian +physiologist Konstantin Buteyko developed a now popular breathing program to counteract +hyperventilation He observed that the closer his patients were to death the faster and +shallower was their breathing Today his program is called the Buteyko method and is used for +asthma anxiety and to increase pulmonary function in athletes Reviews of the medical +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +literature have come to different conclusions about the strength of the evidence supporting the +Buteyko method but it has a large number of steadfast adherents and think in principle it is +credible and compelling +The Buteyko method uses breath holding resistance breathing and breath restriction +exercises to counteract overbreathing The practice focuses on reducing breathing movements +until you feel a tolerable air shortage and hunger for air do not recommend reducing +breathing to the point of air hunger per se but do recommend the bread and butter of the +Buteyko system resistance breathing breathing through the nose and breathing +slower and less These are legitimate methods to counteract hyperventilation Allow me to +explain why +Resistance Breathing +Resistance breathing is any kind of breathing that creates resistance to the flow of air You can +create resistance by breathing through clenched teeth pursed lips or a straw Resistance +breathing forces the breathing musculature to work harder thus strengthening it substantially +over time Because it proceeds slower and disallows air gulping it forces the diaphragm to do +the work +Many people use elevation training masks during exercise to create intense pulmonary +resistance to strengthen the muscles of respiration These masks are meant to simulate the +benefits of training at high altitudes Studies show that the masks are useful and imagine the +masks might be very helpful when used with diaphragmatic breathing However simply +breathing through the nose is a free and easy alternative to train resistance breathing +Why Nasal Breathing is Healthier Than Mouth Breathing +Because the nasal passages are narrower than the oral one taking a full breath through the +nose takes significantly more time and effort It takes more work to breathe exclusively +through the nose compared to breathing through the mouth It is hard work for the diaphragm +and will make it stronger fast Also it forces you to breathe more slowly at an even pace Youll +notice that you cannot gasp through the nose and several researchers agree that one cannot +easily hyperventilate when breathing through the nose consider nasal breathing the sixth +tenet of optimal breathing +Most mammals breathe exclusively through their noses with their mouths closed but there +are a few exceptions Some mammals will breathe through the mouth when engaging in +intense cardiovascular activity Others use mouth breathing for evaporative cooling like a dog +panting on a hot day Some mammals will breathe through their mouth during an aggressive +confrontation Usually the dominant animal will breathe exclusively through the nose and the +subordinate one will open the mouth and pant nondiaphragmatically Many dog trainers +interpret nose breathing as defiant and mouth breathing as acquiescent The dog that pants +rapidly with an open mouth is usually seen as the most obedient Chronic mouth breathing like +hyperventilation is a submissive handicapping signal Otherwise mammals breathe almost +exclusively through their noses Whenever a veterinarian sees a mammal at rest breathing +through its mouth it is taken as a sign of sickness or serious injury +In humans mouth breathing is thought by many experts to increase the stress response +It has been shown to lead to high blood pressure poor posture cognitive disturbances +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +and heart problems In newborns it is a sign of failure to thrive However there is no medical +consensus merely because not enough studies have been performed Neither is there any +rubric in medical science helping people to stop breathing through their mouths This is a +serious oversight +Shut Your Mouth and Save Your Life +In George Catlin wrote the book Shut Your Mouth and Save Your Life in which he extolled +the virtues of nose breathing He was an American adventurer who specialized in painting +portraits of Native Americans in the Old West He observed a large proportion of Native +Americans breathing exclusively through the nose even during sleep He attributed their good +health and serene countenance to this habit He even saw mothers encouraging their infants +and children to breathe through their noses If a baby opened its mouth to breathe the mother +would gently push the babys lips together to ensure nasal breathing He compared this to +Europe where it seemed to him everyone breathed with their mouths +He claimed the American Indians referred to the white men not only as palefaces but as +blackmouths due to their penchant for breathing through their mouths He said that +breathing through the mouth leads to a derangement of the whole face which is not natural +carrying the proof of a long practice of the baneful habit with its lasting consequences and +producing that unfortunate and pitiable and oftentimes disgusting expression which none but +civilized communities can present He called mouth breathing the most abominable and +destructive habit that ever attached itself to the human race +The following are two drawings by Catlin from the book They illustrate what he saw as the +difference between English mouth breathers and Native American nasal breathers +are yy +oy Let +aS s LN As +tf Ni FS AUS +f A +VES ao +ve Nezy +is ee Wi h g +Ni +Al +Ys +Illustration George Catlins sketch comparing mouthbreathing Londoners to nosebreathing +American Indians +Catlin wrote that no excitements could cause the Indians to part their lips He said their +mouths remained closed unless they were eating or speaking and that they even smiled with +their mouths closed He recounted a story in which a quarrel arose between a white fur trader +and a Sioux brave The men decided to settle the dispute naked in a prairie with knives +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +Minutes before the fight Catlin intervened and convinced the men to reconcile and shake +hands Afterward he asked the brave whether he was afraid of the other man who was both +bigger and stronger The Indian replied No not in the least never fear harm from a man who +cant shut his mouth He wrote that both Indian mothers and medicine men told him that +Native Americans breathe through their noses to ensure strength confidence athleticism and +long peaceful lives +If were asked to name a single habit that could be corrected to increase longevity and +quality of life it would be mouth breathing So the question arises What is the best way to +ensure nasal breathing Well at first take its not easy There are two main hindrances to +nasal breathing it is easy to forget to breathe nasally and we transition from nasal to +mouth breathing unconsciously when we become stressed However spending time with the +mouth taped can help you to overcome each of these issues +Taping the Mouth to Ensure Nasal Breathing +You may think you breathe through your nose but you likely often switch to mouth breathing +Many people switch from nose to mouth breathing when they feel nervous or when they are +socializing You may have never noticed it but you probably make this switch repeatedly as +your stress levels fluctuate throughout the day In many cases the diaphragm is not strong +enough to support nasal breathing under stressful conditions Breathing through the nose is +unnerving for many people in social situations +was very uncomfortable nose breathing in my twenties partly because it made me look +expressionless was afraid people would think looked boldfaced or insolent But my face +looked disrespectful while nose breathing only because was uncomfortable doing it Once +you become complacent breathing through the nose with mouth closed you can get away with +sporting a highly expressionless face In other words nasal breathing builds composure Spend +time breathing with your mouth shut more often Practice it in public and with social contacts +Notice how difficult it can be in certain situations and how you have the repeated impulse to +switch to mouth breathing If you allow yourself to transition to mouth breathing when you feel +stressed or excitable you will resort to hyperventilation +To address this strongly recommend taping the mouth shut as often as possible It stops +you from taking intermittent gasps and sighs through your mouth The gasping and sighing +compensate for the air hunger created when stress rises and nasal breathing becomes +nonassertive and weak Even when you are making a concerted effort to breathe through the +nose you will probably only do it halfheartedly because you know in the back of your mind that +you can always switch to mouth breathing if you need to +Taping your mouth will teach you to breathe through your nose without recourse to the +mouth Nasal breathing will be your only option so you will unconsciously lean into it more +This will train your diaphragm to be selfsufficient and uncompromising recommend using a +bandage or surgical tape which can be found in drug stores as it is made for contact with skin +and wont chafe your lips or strip them of their natural oils When started taping my mouth +my nasal passages stung from the heavy increase in airflow Each breath felt cold and dry but +this only lasted a few days urge you to tape your mouth as often as you can for a few months +until you are nasal breathing by force of habit +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Breathing Exercise Taping Your Mouth Shut +Put a piece of tape over your mouth for an hour Place it horizontally across the mouth so +that it makes contact with both the upper and lower lips Concentrate on the work involved +in breathing through the nose Notice that you will breathe too shallowly get too little +oxygen and will panic wanting to switch back to mouth breathing You can overcome this by +making your breaths longer deeper and steadier Next try it while walking reading +watching television working and exercising Tape your mouth often to train exclusive nasal +breathing in all situations You should find that flaring the nostrils a dominance signal may +help to gradually open your nasal passages +While your mouth is taped you will inevitably find some mundane stressor to get worked +up about Lets say for instance that your doorbell rings and you arent expecting anyone Your +respiratory rate will increase ahead of the anticipated social demands and you will feel air +hunger However you wont be able to sustain an increased breathing rate because you cannot +gasp through your mouth As you are forced to continue to breathe through your nose the +worries about the doorbell fade This will ensure that the person who answers the door is +courageous rather than fretful Every minute your mouth is taped you have small victories like +this one that will take the reins over your diaphragm from the environment and place them in +your own hands +After cumulative hours of taping my mouth in the first month could feel was +breathing far less and had conquered the restlessness in my chest After three months +realized that for the first time in my adult life was holding eye contact with others while +breathing calmly through the nose also found that when was having a conversation with +someone would close my mouth as soon as stopped talking This shifted my entire style of +communication from overexcited and frivolous to levelheaded and measured +Everyone should be breathing exclusively through their nose even while sleeping Many +nosebreathing adherents recommend taping the mouth shut before going to sleep to +strengthen nocturnal nasal breathing They claim and agree that it helps you fall asleep +more quickly stay asleep longer and wake feeling energized It also limits snoring stops +drooling keeps the mouth and throat from getting dry reduces bad breath and keeps you in +the diaphragmatic sweet spot throughout the night For all these reasons strongly +recommend you tape your mouth before bed However it is a sharp right turn into hard +diaphragmatic demand You might need to work your way up to it using other Program Peace +breathing exercises including taping your mouth during the day before you can start to tape +your mouth at bedtime +Breathing Exercise Taping Your Mouth During Sleep +Put a piece of tape over your lips before your head hits the pillow When most people start +they wake up with discomfort in their chest This happens because their chest was kept from +heaving throughout the night If you feel this way it means that you must do more remedial +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +diaphragmatic breathing first The soreness in your chest upon waking is a measure of how +nondiaphragmatic your breathing is and how much your habitual breathing pattern fights +against calm restorative breathing +Some people claim that they cannot breathe through their nose due to nasal obstruction or +congestion If this is true for you know that your nasal passages will clear from nasal breathing +practice Mine certainly did Before taping my mouth was lucky to have one nostril clear of +congestion However you should find that after you start taping your mouth the congestion +clears on its own Just like you dont let dry eyes keep you from widening your eyes or dry lips +keep you from smiling dont let a stuffy nasal cavity keep you from breathing through your +nose You might want to try nasal irrigation ie a neti pot Nasaline or nasal relief spray +a personal hygiene practice used for flushing excess mucus and debris from the nasal cavity +and sinuses +Also make an effort to breathe through the nose while chewing Because breathe +through my nose now can close my mouth while chew Thus much to the pleasant surprise +of my friends and family no longer smack my lips +The alternate nostril breathing technique is common in yoga and stress reduction circles +In this exercise the index finger is used to close one nostril at a time Many hypotheses have +been advanced regarding why breathing through only one nostril seems to have a calming +effect on people Some scientists think you can activate different hemispheres of the brain this +way think blocking one nostril works because it narrows the breathing bottleneck even +further increasing the resistance and necessitating that each breath is even slower and +smoother Try it There are many guided alternate nostril breathing exercises online +Modernday huntergatherers are known to be nose breathers and even the persistence +running they do during prolonged hunts is accomplished with the mouth closed As you get +better at nose breathing force yourself to breathe exclusively through the nose during exercise +Keep tissues with you if you need to Blow your nose frequently and train as often as you can +with your mouth closed +a oo ES +Bx S ES P +Ze Sh Y +q ta is +Illustration Hyperventilating man breathing into a paper bag B Man running with an elevation training +mask C Man with tape over the mouth to ensure nose breathing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Months of paced breathing helped but breathing exclusively through the nose was still a +challenge for me when started Inspired by the writings of Konstantin Buteyko and George +Catlin forced myself to do it You havent accomplished it until every time you think to notice +you find yourself breathing through the nose Dont try to accomplish exclusive nasal breathing +in a matter of weeks Give yourself at least a few months to make a comfortable transition to +exclusive nose breathing Teaching myself to breathe through my nose made diaphragmatic +breathing much more accessible and gave me a whole new level of composure and poise +Breathe through the nose as much as possible It calms your mind and turns your breathing +musculature into a powerful relentless irrepressible bellows +The Slowest Smallest Breath +When you breathe with a smooth flow rate you should feel that your breath proceeds at an +even tack You should hear and feel a constant stream of breath that doesnt vary in speed +think the best way to perfect a smooth flow rate is to inhale as little and as slowly as possible +When you do this the tumultuous discontinuities apneic disturbances discussed in Chapter +become magnified This enables you to perceive them and work to iron them out +Breathing Exercise The Slowest Smallest Breath +After a couple of deep breaths take a single inhalation that is a tiny continuous sip of air It +should be long in duration from seconds to a minute and deep from the bottom of your +expiratory reserve to the top of your inspiratory reserve Take in as little air as possible as +slowly as possible without pausing After you finish inhaling breathe normally for a few +breaths then repeat Steady your breath so that you override the shudders and shivers in the +flow of air It should feel like a long drawnout note on a saxophone a rocket ship sailing +smoothly out of the atmosphere or a slow ride down a gently sloped slide made from warm +butter Sometimes it helps me to visualize the slow but steady propulsion made possible by +hundreds of millipede legs working in unison Continue to practice this making your goal to +breathe slowly and evenly all the time +Breathing slowly like this feels dangerouseither like you are not getting enough air or like +it is too much work Some of the most archaic brain areas ring their alarm bells when they can +tell that the conscious system is imposing a slow diaphragmatic breath Deep down our +unconscious mind is afraid that the diaphragm will be overexerted and that this will lead to +death by some form of cardiorespiratory fatigue It is afraid that we will ignore the pain signals +from our weary breathing musculature and succumb to diaphragmatic failure And it is true that +if a person who is a heavy hyperventilator that takes in breaths per minute was forced to +switch to four breaths per minute without any deviation the abrupt change in demand could +lead to respiratory shutdown after many hours However a few minutes of diaphragmatic +fatigue is not going to kill you You dont want to push it too hard for hours at a time but you +must get past this instinctual dread of exerting the diaphragm +To do this embrace the feeling of suffocating yourself with the slowest smallest breath +exercise These breaths should feel like prolonged streamlined sighs that ooze in and out of +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +your body Taking extremely slow inhalations will strengthen your diaphragm and teach your +mind to control it on a very precise and finegrained scale putting an end to hyperventilation +When you perform exercise above imagine that you are training to be the best in the +world Pretend that the national pastime consists of stepping up to home plate pressing your +nostril against a microphone and taking the smoothest inhalation and the smoothest +exhalation you possibly can You want to inspire the entire stadium as well as the folks +watching at home with how constant and unperturbed your breath is Of course we will never +get the opportunity to show off in this way However if you breathe as if you are training for it +the results will significantly affect your every word thought and action It will also make your +breath extremely quiet +Several Eastern arts such as tai chi yoga and qi gong recognize the importance of quiet +gentle breathing Japanese legend holds that samurai would be tested by placing a feather +under their nose If the feather wavered then they were not ready to progress Qi gong master +Chris Pei explains Generally speaking there are three levels of breathing The first one is to +breathe softly so that a person standing next to you does not hear you breathing The second +level is to breathe softly so that you do not hear yourself breathing And the third level is to +breathe softly so that you do not feel yourself breathing The Chinese practice of Taoism +defines ideal breathing as so smooth that the fine hairs within the nostrils remain motionless +In the thcentury BC Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said The perfect man breathes as if he is +not breathing +find these quotes inspiring and do believe that quiet breathing is an indicator of +diaphragmatic health and precludes hyperventilation However the breath cannot always be +inaudible When you first transition to nasal breathing it is often loud Dont necessarily +suppress your breath to make it quiet and dont be embarrassed by the sound of your +breathing Instead be proud that others will hear how smooth and deep it is +Calming Your Gasping Reflex +As discussed in Chapter your default tidal range can be expanded by taking longer deeper +breaths But your tidal range can also be reduced by teaching your body that it is safe to take +more shallow breaths When you first try to take several shallow breaths in a row your +diaphragm and other breathing muscles will stubbornly resist the process Again your nervous +system will be afraid to let them relax This is why breathing less feels uncomfortable and can +be downright scary It brings you face to face with your gasping mechanism +It is difficult to breathe in a tidal range that is shallower than usual as in diagram C in +Figure above because it exposes a reflexive gasp that powers your every inhalation Once +you are breathing more shallowly than usual you can feel the jerk from this gasp in your chest +It initiates each inhalation and is essentially a violent convulsion and another manifestation of +trauma keeping you in fight or flight The more time you spend breathing less the more you +experience it and the more you calm it Calming it will tremendously reduce your tendency to +hyperventilate You can use the following exercise to do this +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Breathing Exercise Depowering the Heaving Gasp +For one or two minutes take breaths that are vastly shallower than you are accustomed to +Imagine merely taking in a few teaspoons of air Spend about between one and three +seconds on each inhalation and exhalation x to x When executing this pattern +the breathing muscles should be about as close to resting as they can be moving very little +You are hypoventilating +By the fifth to tenth breath you should feel a sense of air hunger This sensation of +suffocation or smothering is too soon to be a legitimate need for oxygen Instead it is the +feeling of your hyperactive breathing musculature fighting against your decision to breathe +less The discomfort should be centered around the beginning of the inhalation Your chest is +trying to involuntarily kickstart a gasp but you are not letting it It should feel a bit like a +hiccup coming on This should create the feeling that you need a deep inhalation and are +having trouble catching your breath +Become immersed in the sensations surrounding your gasp reflex and try to calm it for the +remaining breaths Once you have been breathing like this for twenty seconds to a minute +and the feeling of air hunger starts to kick in allow yourself to take a few normal deeper +breaths to reoxygenate and then try again Use this exercise to learn to feel comfortable +breathing much less and transform the violent spastic contraction that initiates your +inhalation into a gentle gradual one +think the exercise above brings you into contact with the cramp in your diaphragm It is +the portion of the diaphragm that is always heaving in an effort carry on with hyperventilation +It is trying to overpower your current rate It is doing this because your body is afraid that you +are not going to get enough oxygen to deal with the environment that it assumes is adverse By +ignoring the gasp and feeling the air hunger you get a panicky sensation By attenuating your +breath you ignore the panic You should get this feeling sometimes as you come down from +exercising Treat it as if that is all it is Even though you are not exercising feel comfortable +coming down a whole level It is the ultimate form of underreacting and it sends a message to +the body that says There is no way we need that much oxygen right now +You may have to be experiencing anxiety for this to happen but when performing the +exercise above people often breathe like an actor in a scary movie and it may feel horrific +That gasp reflex is trying to break through We normally try to avoid this sensation at all costs +It is like a big wave hitting the body The idea is to let the waves hit and prove to your body that +it doesnt hurt and breathing less is not the end of the world Not startling in response to it +is detraumatizing think this is what Buteyko was trying to lead people to do but he didnt +articulate it this way +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +Figure The first sine wave depicts a gasping form of inhalation The slope starts steeply indicating an abrupt +force at the beginning This is a violent and exhausting way to breathe that perpetuates hyperventilation and +stress The second wave depicts a relaxed form of inhalation that is not powered by an initial jerk of the breathing +musculature In both waves the exhalation is shown as a straight line to simplify +Breath Holding +Many breathing exercises utilize breath holding They come with names like breath restriction +hypoventilation training and hypoxic therapy There are even paced breathing routines that ask +you to hold your breath between each inhalation and exhalation The popular exercise +asks you to inhale for four seconds hold your breath for four exhale for six hold the breath for +two and then repeat Try it The technique is also very popular The version is a +drill Sometimes called box breathing it is utilized by the military to calm and rehabilitate +warfighters with PTSD think breathholding exercises like these can be helpful but do not +recommend holding the breath during paced breathing because practicing so many pauses may +influence you to hold your breath habitually without realizing it Due to the strong association +between breath holding and anxiety think this is counterproductive Still doing it for as long +as you can a few times per week might be beneficial Holding the breath causes panic +By desensitizing yourself to this panic you may harden yourself against trauma +Breathing Exercise Breath Hold +Start by taking a deep inhalation while lying down and then exhale most of it Next close +your mouth and time yourself using the stopwatch on your smartphone to see how long it +takes you to experience air hunger Hold your breath as long as you can Try to work up to +holding your breath in this way for seconds then After a few weeks you should be +able to get near a full minute +You should feel strong discomfort in your chest and an unrestrainable desire to resume +breathing Calmly expose yourself to this unpleasant feeling for a least a few seconds Your +body will feel restless and you should feel a pulsating sensation in your chest Focus on +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +bringing absolute peace to this reaction as if you were ignoring the siren of a passing +ambulance As soon as you stop and take that first gasp go right back to diaphragmatic +breathing This will teach your body not to fear the pain of suffocation and not to perceive it +as a lethal state +The first sincere desire for air will occur with an involuntary contraction of the diaphragm +The diaphragm starts to push and pull involuntarily to get breathing going again The amount of +time it takes for you to feel this sensation is a good measure of general breathing health Many +people will experience diaphragmatic contractions between and seconds Breath holding +practitioners maintain that a person who breathes optimally will not experience this until +seconds +The more you practice the exercise above the longer you will be able to hold your breath +before you feel your diaphragm attempt to kickstart the breath Buteyko adherents call the +practice of breath holding the control pause It is also known as the blood oxygen level test +BOLT and using the four rules will help improve this score Breath holding is thought to +improve your bloods oxygencarrying capacity and increase the maximum volume of oxygen +that you can use in exhaustive exercise This metric is known by athletes as VO max and is +highly coveted +Stressful situations such as a tense conversation that involves gasping and breathholding +often lead to feelings of air hunger Intermittent air hunger contributes to anxiety So once you +have spent a few days desensitizing yourself to the sensations involved in breathholding you +will notice that you feel calmer in general You will realize that a fear of suffocation regularly +intruded into your everyday life but that it does this no more +Rapid Shallow Breathing +Earlier in this chapter we discussed how constant hyperventilation is extremely unhealthy +Deliberate hyperventilation on the order of a few seconds however may be healthpromoting +Many forms of breathwork induce hyperventilation Tummo breathing is an ancient Tibetan +example Similar forms such as holotropic breathing and the Wim Hof method have recently +become popular Each of these involves taking very rapid full breaths for minutes at a time +often followed by breath holds This voluntary hyperventilation leads to high levels of oxygen +low levels of carbon dioxide the feeling of pins and needles and even panic But if you can +expose yourself to these sensations without panicking you can further desensitize yourself to +stress recommend voluntary acute hyperventilation try the Wim Hof guided breathing +session on YouTube because think numbing yourself to it is another experience that will +strengthen you as a person +Insufficient skill in coordinating the transition between rapid inhalations and exhalations is +a manifestation of trauma For example it keeps you from being able to project your voice +strongly and decisively during times of tension Building better coordination over the switch +between breaths may make you a less hesitant more confident breather One reason believe +this is that chimpanzees perform rapid loud panting displays daily These are called ventilating +displays or panthoots and are used to indicate dominance They are more intense and more +frequent in highly ranked individuals The higher a chimps dominance rank within its party +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +the more intensely it panthoots Panthoots are most common in the presence of high +quality food or females in estrus indicating that it is used during social competition to +designate status and priority These vocalizations are set to almost violently fast breathing and +are used to prove to others that the vocal and respiratory systems are robust +The panthoot is a series of deep yells that take place while rapidly switching between +inhalations and exhalations Each cycle lasts between a half and a quarter of a second Perform +a video search on the internet for the term panthoot listen to the sound and try to recreate +it yourself You might also search for an episode of the Arsenio Hall talk show from the s +The panthoot was used by the audience in a collegial energetic way to show support for the +host or his guests The crowd would often swing their arms above their head and hoot +uncompromisingly You will find that hooting is very strenuous at first yet becomes facile over +just a few days This may seem like another bizarre exercise but remember Program Peace is +all about finding weaknesses in the body and rehabilitating them to find new strength +especially when this strength is associated with dominance in closely related animals +Breathing Exercise PantHooting +Practice breathing in and out at very short intervals while vocalizing loudly You should be +imitating a chimpanzee panthoot that you listened to online Alternate between inhalation +and exhalation around two to five times per second Do it rhythmically and with control +During each exhalation yell hoo loudly and deeply It should be like a bark Time yourself +using your phones stopwatch At first try to reach seconds of intense hooting Over +several weeks you should be able to do it for more than a minute Once you reach +proficiency you can try doing what the chimps do and vocalize not just on the exhalations +but the inhalations as well +As you do this you will notice that every few times you switch your breathing will falter +Your timing will be off because you dont have fine enough control over the transitions +between inhalations and exhalations This kind of poor respiratory coordination may be a +contributor to autonomic dysregulation Use this exercise to iron through these irregularities +and unbrace and strengthen the muscles involved After a minute of panthooting intensely +your chest and voice will feel agitated However if you concentrate on letting the muscles go +limp afterward they will relax deeply You will feel calmer and notice that your voice is +stronger and deeper for up to a day +believe that humans and chimps add tension to the aspect of the diaphragm responsible +for the panthoot as a function of their social standing They do this as part of a submissive +display that selfhandicaps the bark and roar both of which are powered by the diaphragm +This is why only the most dominant chimps are capable of performing an optimal panthoot +Panthooting loudly and forcefully will drive this underused aspect of your diaphragm into full +fatigue allowing it to recover from the tension you have imposed on it for years strongly +believe that after just a handful of sessions you will realize that the panthoot achieves a +diaphragmatic detox reaching into and purging the nucleus of your anxiety +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Completely avoiding breathing at short intervals is like being an endurance runner who +never sprints think it is important to spend time every day not trying to lengthen or even +control the breath Let it get as shallow as it wants and breathe through your mouth if it feels +right Forget about the rules of diaphragmatic breathing sometimes and let the unconscious +breath regulation modules do what they will Stated simply allow yourself to breathe shallowly +once in a while as a form of crosstraining +Stretch and Flex the Diaphragm +The next exercise provides a great maneuver to stretch and contract your stale stiff diaphragm +This stretch will bring it blood and help make it stronger and better at its job Think back to the +hiccup activity from Chapter When simulating a hiccup you sealed off your glottis the vocal +opening in the throat and contracted your diaphragm Using the following maneuver you will +similarly close the glottis so no air can enter the lungs and contract the diaphragm as if you +were inhaling creating a brief vacuum +By restricting the flow of air closure of the glottis isolates the diaphragm in a fixed +position allowing it to contract isometrically To contract it you only have to try to breathe in +With the glottis closed you wont be able to but trying will pull the central tendon of the +diaphragm down toward the abdominal cavity stretching the entire diaphragm as well as the +organs near it Again thought originated this exercise but after entering a description into a +search engine found that it is a variant of an ageold yoga pose called uddiyana bandha or +flying abdominal lock +Breathing Exercise sometric Contraction of the Diaphragm +Lie down and breathe out completely blowing on your fingertip until you cannot blow out +anymore Then close and seal your glottis This makes it impossible to breathe From here +you can fully engage the diaphragm by trying to either breathe in or out +Attempt to breathe in You will not be able to and the harder you try the better stretch +you will get Try to extend this contraction up into your rib cage and hold it for at least five +seconds This may make you cough which is fine While contracting the diaphragm alter the +position of your trunk and thoracic spine This will allow you to flex hard into your diaphragm +at different angles This may lead to a satisfying crack +Attempt to breathe out forcefully pressing the stomach outward at the same time Again +the harder you press the better the stretch Try to hold this for at least five seconds +From either of these two positions you should be able to find a very achy contraction This is +the cramp in the diaphragm that has formed as a consequence of bracing and chronic +hyperventilation Now that you have isolated it you can gradually work through it +There are other ways to isolate and contract the diaphragm isometrically Breathing deeply +from some yoga positions offers challenging opportunities for diaphragmatic stimulation want +to strongly encourage you to try a full inhalation from either a forward fold or plow pose +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +because these yoga positions decrease the volume of the abdominal cavity forcing the +diaphragm to work harder than it normally does Full breaths from these positions are hard +work with a big payoff +Intraoral Myofascial Release for the Nasopharynx +You have an extensive muscular knot behind your face that comes from constricting the +nasopharynx The nasopharynx is an opening in the back of the throat just behind the uvula +My nasopharyngeal sphincter was highly tense and painful Contraction of the nasopharynx is a +natural reflex that occurs during swallowing to prevent food or liquid from going up into the +nose but bracing it is another manifestation of trauma People brace it out of fear of appearing +too calm This knot becomes tighter every time you feel stressed It contributes to wincing +and grimacing and it gets worse every day because it is never massaged or even touched +advocate that you perform compression and selfmassage specifically for your nasopharynx +It is very uncomfortable at first but it gets easier every time and it only takes a few weeks to +get rid of the pain completely +Nasopharynx +Uvula +The Pharyngeal Airway +Trachea Esophagus +Illustration The nasopharynx is a small opening just behind the uvula that connects the oral cavity with the +nasal cavity +You can provide compression to your nasopharynx by donning a plastic glove putting your +thumb into your mouth and up into your nasopharyngeal opening This opening is where your +nasal passage connects with your throat To do this insert your thumb into your mouth as if +you were sucking on your thumb To find the opening you must feel around the roof of your +mouth traveling away from the teeth and toward the area where the hard roof of the mouth +hard palate turns soft soft palate An inch behind posterior to this border is the uvula +a fleshy hanging structure Just behind the uvula is the opening of the nasopharynx +The nasopharynx is an invagination that you want to explore and massage using one of your +thumbs The opening will feel tight and painful and pressing against it will initiate a gag reflex +The best way to bypass the gagging is to breathe diaphragmatically preferably to a breath +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +metronome Within the first week you will notice that it is less painful to probe that your face +feels and looks calmer and that mucus clearance is easier +Breathing Exercise Massaging the Nasopharynx +Put ona plastic glove With your thumb inside your nasopharynx you can place strong pressure on +many muscles and soft tissues in the nasopharynx and nasal cavity When you start simply insert the +thumb past the first knuckle and keep it still It will feel sore itchy and scratchy like a sore throat +Next try to swallow a few times and feel the nasopharyngeal sphincter tighten and loosen around +your thumb The first few times this may be very uncomfortable but it should be painless within a +few weeks +Next you want to gently press your thumb into different areas massaging the soft tissues +stimulating the nerves reducing tension in the accompanying muscles and bringing needed blood to +the area You want to press against each of the walls and folds of the nasopharynx and even up into +the nasopharyngeal ceiling The padded side of your thumb opposite the side with the fingernail will +come into contact with the anterior portion of this muscle closest to the face You want to press into +it firmly while contracting it intermittently to exercise it and gain a conscious ability to coordinate its +movement As usual learning how to control it will teach you how to relax it +It is essential to employ paced breathing and focus concertedly on remaining calm before +during and after this exercise Influencing how your brain interprets intense forms of +stimulation is incredibly decisive in how your body copes with them also recommend doing +this while relaxing at home before sleep While you have the rubber glove on recommend +that you use the thumb to press into muscular areas all over the soft palate +You can massage the tongue as well This can be done in two ways squeeze your +tongue between your thumb and forefinger or use your middle finger to gently compress +the length of your tongue down toward the floor of your mouth Allow your tongue to go limp +and drop down to a lower point in your throat Unbracing your tongue and allowing it to +become flat and broad at its base will help relax your voice the topic of the next chapter +Ss +A +je +Y +a +Illustration A Nasal cavity and nasopharynx B Man inserting thumb into nasopharynx +C Man squeezing tongue +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +Have you ever heard of mewing It is a popular doityourself facial restructuring technique +developed by Dr Mike Mew a British orthodontist Mewing involves flattening out the tongue +against the roof of the mouth the hard palate The tip of the tongue is placed on or near the +top front teeth and the body of the tongue is placed on the roof of the mouth Proponents +claim that learning to rest the tongue here habitually will define the jawline and change the +shape of the face for the better Like many similar techniques including most of the exercises in +this book there is not enough scientific evidence yet to support the practice However it is +interesting to point out that resting the tongue against the roof of the mouth seems prevalent +in most mammals and human infants This indicates to me that resting the tongue on the floor +of the mouth not mewing may be a traumatized posture associated with mouth breathing and +a widened airway diameter facilitating hyperventilation discussed in the next chapter think +it is possible that mewing could aid in nose breathing expressionlessness reducing oral and +pharyngeal bracing decreasing vocal tension and reinforcing ujjayi breath also discussed in +the next chapter +Pair Diaphragmatic Breathing with Anything and Everything +hope you feel you now have more tools to ensure that your diaphragm is working properly +When it is working it pacifies your interpretation of and responses to any experiences you +have It helped turn my nasopharynx from a pit of pain to a painless normally functioning +part of my body believe that this diaphragmatic generalization can similarly enhance the +positive externalities from many forms of traditional and alternative therapy Existing forms of +therapy that may be vastly augmented by proper breathing may include +Mainstream Therapies yoga psychotherapy relaxation techniques muscle and joint +rehabilitation mindfulnessbased stress reduction chiropractic acupuncture osteopathy +cognitive behavioral therapy medical massage neurotherapy biofeedback positive +affirmation somatic therapy etc +Exercise and Movement Based Therapies personal training physical therapy Pilates tai chi +qigong martial arts acroyoga dance the Gyrotonic Method Gyrokinesis the Franklin Method +the Alexander Technique Feldenkrais Nia ChiWalking ballistic stretching proprioceptive +neuromuscular facilitation gymnastics Laban Movement Analysis somatics etc +Complementary Holistic and Alternative Therapies meditation prayer cold showering +electronic pulse massage abdominal or visceral massage kneading petrissage craniofacial +manipulation gua sha and Mei Zen acupuncture muscle stripping guided therapeutic imagery +active release technique Rolfing craniosacral therapy tantric sex eye movement +desensitization and reprocessing visceral massage colonic irrigation reiki autogenic training +hypnosis mewing ASMR forest bathing art therapy animal therapy etc +Conclusion +After you perform the breathing exercises from this chapter and Chapter for weeks +you will notice that many of the people you know breathe two to three breaths for every +breath you take Relative to the new you everyone else will be hyperventilating +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Distress causes overbreathing also known as hyperventilation which is strongly +associated with anxiety and has many negative symptoms and repercussions +e Taking exaggeratedly slow breaths will put you on an air diet reducing distressed +breathing and hyperventilation +e You want your diaphragm to approximate a large piston moving in slow motion +e Because nasal breathing forces you to breathe more slowly it will strengthen the +diaphragm and greatly reduce distressed breathing Taping the mouth helps with this +e Breathing in for as long as you can will force the diaphragm to contract completely +expanding its range pushing it to fatigue and allowing it to rest afterward +e Stretching the diaphragm and contracting it isometrically will make it stronger and +increase its range of motion +e Breath holding mewing and panthooting may help rehabilitate your breathing habits +e Providing compression to the nasopharynx soft palate and tongue will remove trauma +in these areas +Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension +Program Peace Breathing Exercise Progress Tracker +Use the boxes below to tally your number of hours of nasal breathing as in Exercise +Hours Nasal +Breathing +Use a stopwatch to see how long you can prolong an inhalation and an exhalation as in Exercise +Use the table below to keep track of your best times +Longest +Inhalation +Longest +Exhalation +Use a stopwatch to see how long you can hypoventilate as in Exercise Use the table below to keep +track of your best times +Longest +Hypovent +Use a stopwatch to see how long you can hold your breath as in Exercise Use the table below to +keep track of your best times +Longest +Breath Hold +Use a stopwatch to see how long you can panthoot as in Exercise Use the table below to keep +track of your best times +Longest +Panthoot +Use a stopwatch to see how long you can hold an isometric contraction of the diaphragm as in Exercise +Use the table below to keep track of your best times +Longest Dia +Contraction +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Sauty A Prosper M The hyperventilation syndrome Revue medicale suisse +Sauty Prosper The hyperventilation syndrome +Naifeh K H Basic anatomy and physiology of the respiratory system and the +autonomic nervous system In B H Timmons R Ley Eds Behavioral and psychological +approaches to breathing disorders pp Springer +McKeown P The Oxygen advantage The simple scientifically proven breathing +technique that will revolutionize your health and fitness Harper Collins +Staubli M Vogel F Bartsch P Fliickiger G Ziegler W H Hyperventilation +induced changes of blood cell counts depend on hypocapnia European Journal of Applied +Physiology and Occupational Physiology +Rosalba C Strengths weaknesses and possibilities of the Buteyko Breathing +Method Biofeedback +Fried R The psychology and physiology of breathing In behavioral medicine +clinical psychology and psychiatry Springer Science +Park Y S Sleep interrupted A physician reveals the reason why so many of us +are sick and tired Jodev Press +Park et al Sleep interrupted MoraisAlmeida M Wandalsen G F Sole D +Growth and mouth breathers Jornal de Pediatria Masahiro S Sano S +Kato T Increased oxygen load in the prefrontal cortex A vectorbased nearinfrared +spectroscopy study Neuroreport +Nestor J Breath The new science of a lost art Penguin +McKeown P The Oxygen advantage The simple scientifically proven breathing +technique that will revolutionize your health and fitness Harper Collins +Fedurek P Donnellan E Slocombe K E Social and ecological correlates of +longdistance pant hoot calls in male chimpanzees Behavioral Ecology and Sociobiology +Chapter Release Vocal Tension +A determined man by his very attitude and the tone of his voice puts a stop to defeat and begins to conquer +Ralph Waldo Emerson +There is an intimate connection between the voice and wellbeing Our voices are right at the +center of how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with the people around us For +most of us however interpersonal pressures and internal discomforts gradually put stress on +our vocal cords This chapter deals with the causes of this critical source of bodily dysfunction +then gives you a detailed and accessible guide to undoing it building on the work youve done +in previous chapters It will cover healthier vocalization clear articulation coughing yawning +muscle strengthening and how to find relief from your internal monologue First lets touch on +the basic facts +The vocal cords are two membranes in the throat that are spread apart when breathing +and pulled together for speech When they are touching and air from an exhalation is forced +through them they vibrate against each other giving rise to the voice Sound is generated as a +steady flow of air is chopped up by the cords into little puffs of sound waves More than a +dozen different muscles manipulate the vocal cords within the voice box larynx We modulate +our speech sounds by contracting these muscles along with muscles of the tongue mouth lips +and an entire wall of muscles extending from the voice box to the last molar All of these +muscles take on trigger points and partial contraction from intermittent bracing +That brings us to the link between voice and emotion Behavioral ecologists have long +noted that dominance displays in mammals feature lowpitched vocalizations while +subordination displays feature highpitched squeals and whimpers In primates highpitched +noises are common during juvenile play submissive threats appeasement and begging for +food Human voices similarly rise in pitch as a result of insecurity stress and social submission +Higher pitch is caused by vocal cord tension the tauter the cords are the faster they vibrate +back and forth and the higher the frequency of the sound they produce +Voice pitch rises when we ask for a favor apologize whine or attempt to show affection or +goodwill Negative emotion in general increases the pitch of the voice When you are nervous +or scared for instance the muscles around the larynx automatically tighten up involuntarily +creating a higherpitched sound In Chapter we saw how the brains grief system elicits +reflexive distress vocalizations in mammals and birds It ensures that lost babies call out for +their mothers Our grievances activate this ancient neural pathway intensifying vocal bracing +When we are anxious we are in essence even in silence calling out for our mothers +Dominant voices maintain or lower in pitch when finishing a sentence Lowering intonation +midsentence conveys unshaken confidence Submissive voices do the opposite rising in pitch as +if asking a question This is commonly known as upward inflection When you speak at an +artificially high pitch you can strain your larynx in as little as a few minutes Accumulated over +months and years that strain changes the resonance of your voice making it softer and higher +This effectwhen tension in the vocal muscles affects the voiceis called muscle tension +dysphonia When this condition leads to pain and inflammation in the larynx it is called globus +pharyngis or laryngitis when truly acute Few of us are formally diagnosed with these +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +ailments but we all have hoarseness and diminished voices from the selfimposed repetitive +strain on our vocal muscles +Have you ever found that when you are in a calm state ie after a massage or upon +waking your voice is very deep loud and full Your voice sounded like that because you gave +it a rest from bracing That is your true voice and should be your voice all the time To reclaim +it all you need to do is learn to stop tensing it +used to talk in an artificially high voice all the time and there were many friends with +whom would never speak in my normal voice for fear of offending them By age this led to +my normal voice being completely unavailable and it continued to get weaker every year The +sustained highpitch mangled my voice It wrenched my larynx took all the bass out of my +speech and ruined my singing ability By the time turned even my ability to modulate and +inflect was greatly reduced The weakness in my voice led me to talk and socialize less My +laryngeal posture became so compromised that developed a persistent lump in my throat +The constriction in my gullet affected my swallowing too and developed dysphagia The +airway around my voice box was so tight that would choke at almost every meal The following +exercises and techniques completely resolved this problem The lump in my throat is gone and +the improvement in my voice has been profound Use the exercises in this chapter to get the +frog out of your throat and turn your croaking into crooning We will start once again by +applying deep breathing to the situation +Diaphragmatic Vocalization +Enter the terms vocal cord endoscopy into a video search engine to see the vocal cords in +action When you watch this medical exam you can hear the doctor giving the patient +instructions about when to vocalize and when to be silent You will see multiple muscles in the +throat contracting to modulate the patients voice If you watch carefully you should notice the +patient contract the muscles that pull the vocal cords together in preparation for speech before +any vocalization begins You are most likely to spot it if the doctor interrupts the patient before +they start speaking at which point you can see the musculature either stay tense or return to +rest Seeing this will make you question how often you unknowingly tense the muscles of your +vocal apparatus in anticipation of speech even when you are not speaking In reality we are +constantly bracing our vocal musculature in neurotic preparation for highpitched speech +Ilustration A Side view of vocal cords B Vocal cords open from above C Vocal cords closed D Exterior +throat anatomy with the voice box in the center +Chapter Release Vocal Tension +When you go to a loud party or concert and your voice is frazzled the following day it is not +because you were yelling too loudly Rather it is because you yelled with strained vocal cords +and then braced them for the remainder of the evening while breathing thoracically Our vocal +apparatus was designed for shouting but not for shouting combined with shallow breathing +That is a very different type of muscular stress and one we are not well equipped to endure +Most people hyperventilate when they speak often needlessly doubling their intake of air +The discomfort of hyperventilation is a major contributor to the widespread fear of public +speaking This tendency causes us to speak in an even shallower tidal range than the one we +breathe in The breathing exercises from Chapters and will expand this range allowing you +to continue speaking when your lungs are nearly empty That greater range adds depth to your +voice Any speech expert or vocologist will tell you that practicing diaphragmatic breathing +is one of the best ways to achieve a bettersounding voice As you will see in the next exercise +breathing diaphragmatically while vocalizing is even better +Vocal Exercise Sing Loudly without Gasping +Sing from memory or along to a song Dont let yourself gasp When it comes time to inhale +do so completely without singing even if the vocalist in the song you are listening to is +singing Once you have taken in a full breath resume singing until you have no more air left +to exhale You might do this in the car or with headphones on +Select songs that make you feel powerful Pull up the lyrics online and read along if it helps +Sing your heart out Singing loudly will make your voice stronger very quickly and doing it +with passion will produce endorphins and confidence Bring your voice to a healthy state of +fatigue over and over taking breaks between songs to let it go completely limp The more +you do this exercise the closer your standard social voice will come to that audacious singing +voice +The next exercise will ask you to make several types of vocalizations including yelling +while breathing diaphragmatically Coupled with distressed breathing these exercises would +wear out your voice or even damage it But diaphragmatic breathing protects it by disallowing +vocal bracing and the activation of the sympathetic nervous system After several minutes of +practice this will allow you to start vocalizing with and rehabbing muscles that were +previously stuck in partial contraction These exercises will also train your vocal muscles to +coordinate more efficiently resulting in more sound production with less energy expenditure +Vocal Exercise Diaphragmatic Vocalization +Perform the following vocalizations after taking a deep smooth inhalation Once your lungs +are full vocalize until you are almost out of breath Repeat Choose a location like a closet or +a carsomewhere you wont be apprehensive about being overheard Let loose The real +work of these exercises involves paying attention to the wavering and instability in your voice +and using repetition to smooth out such weaknesses Fullrange vocalization repeated over +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +and over will tune up the voice by teaching your diaphragm to provide your vocal cords with +constant unfaltering air pressure +Take a deep breath and sing a single note or a scale until you are out of air Do this +loudly Bellow Keep singingexhaling until you have absolutely no air left The last few +seconds will be uncomfortable but it will start to feel good after completing the +exercise a few times over the course of a week Focus on making your voice ring like a +bell pure and unflinching and it will become one If you prefer you can also perform +this exercise with humming or vocal sighs +Yell loudly without straining projecting as much as you can comfortably Alternate +between a roar a howl and a bark Try yelling at different registers and frequencies +You can yell the vowels A E O and U one at a time Keep it up until you have +emptied your lungs of air Repeat this over and over in an effort to increase your +volume at the end of your expiratory reserve +Sing using vibrato Vibrato is a vocal technique that involves shifting the voice quickly +between two pitches An example of vibrato would be wavering back and forth +between C and C with regular pulses around six times per second To hear a good +example listen to Johnny Mathis sing Chances Are It is commonly used by +professional singers but is very difficult to achieve unless the vocal cords are relaxed +Start by switching between two notes that are very close together Go back and forth +slowly and easily and then gradually speed this up to achieve vibrato Practicing +vibrato will improve your voices melody and prosody while building vocal relaxation +and agility +Practice vocal fry The vocal fry register is the lowest range of tones available to the +human voice It involves a rough creaky sound and is produced by loose glottal +closure which permits air to bubble through slowly creating a rattling effect at a very +low frequency If you are not familiar with creating vocal fry use an internet search to +listen to some examples Once you get the hang of it practice producing vocal fry that +is as loud and smooth as possible Find the tone that feels the itchiest and scratchiest +and concentrate your efforts there Rehabbing it will renovate the substructure of +your voice +After completing the exercises lie down and focus on the sensations in your vocal tract You +will be bracing it Find the throat posture that allows the tension you created to subside This +is your most relaxed vocal posture and the one you want to hold all the time +If you are nervous before an important meeting a big presentation or a hot date chances +are much of the nervous energy will be concentrated in your vocal muscles Much of your +anxiety stems from knowing that the tension leakage will be audible the moment you open +Chapter Release Vocal Tension +your mouth However if you sing along loudly and deeply to a few songs you know by heart +during the drive there you will push your vocal muscles through a full contraction This will +wring out the stiffness from those muscles and prime them for use Also singing loudly with +energy is one of the best ways to improve your mood because it causes the release of +endorphins +If after singing you then spend the second half of the drive breathing to a breath +metronome those same muscles will get a full chance to relax and regenerate ensuring that +the exercise they got didnt push them into spasm and activate latent trigger points You will +arrive at the event with the most powerful version of your voice +To acquire a more fully faceted voice and deep resonance you must reestablish the +muscles responsible for growling The need for this kind of rehabilitation comes from a lifetime +of disuse We suppress any hint of a growl concerned that others will interpret it as adversarial +But by avoiding even minor tonal suggestions of anger we repress the vocal muscles needed +for dominant vocalizations Whole sections of our vocal tracts are cramped and dormant as a +result The next exercise addresses this +Vocal Exercise Activate Your Aryepiglottic Folds +Vocalize using the breathing method in Vocal Exercise above but this time growl loudly +Create the guttural vocalization of a husky character with a gruff voice This will force unused +portions of the vocal cords including the aryepiglottic folds to get involved in producing +sound Almost everyone stifles the aryepiglottic folds leaving them underdeveloped in all but +a meager portion of the population You may have never used yours but they have always +been available to you By practicing the growl you will unstifle your aryepiglottic folds +If you dont know what the use of aryepiglottic folds sounds like listen to Louis Armstrong +sing What a Wonderful World Also channel Cookie Monster Barry White Marge Simpson +and Batman Hold a deep note in a low loud growl throughout your exhalation After youve +practiced the growl alone try singing with a growl After two to five hours of cumulative +practice you should be able to unleash your inner monster permitting you to overlap a +growl with your normal speech any time you choose +Using portions of your throat to which you are unaccustomed in the exercises above will +make you choke and cough Especially using the aryepiglottic folds will feel sensitive scratchy +and achy as in a sore throat Utilizing these achy sections of the vocal tract will rehab them +The soreness will dissipate and accumulated phlegm will clear Whole sections of your vocal +apparatus only vibrate when you cough or scream but you can use diaphragmatic rehabbing to +coax them to flutter with every word you speak Try using noisereducing earmuffs with these +exercises so that you are not focused on the timbre of your voice but rather the rattling +sensations in your throat +Feel good about vocalizing forcefully Dont equate vocal power with discourtesy and dont +inhibit it to be polite Model your favorite radio personality or disc jockey emulating how they +can speak richly and deeply yet also congenially on the air +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chin Lock +Tucking your chin back into your throat firmly allows you to contract many muscles in the +throat and vocal tract It is a great way to find and activate lengths of muscle that have gone +dormant In yoga this position is known as a chin lock jalandhara bandha The muscles it +strengthens include the underused longus colli and longus capitus both in the front of the neck +alongside many others As you explore the chin lock over several weeks you will discover there +are many layers to the dormancy in your laryngeal muscles As you gain the ability to contract +and relax new portions of these muscles in addition to recovering your voice your neck will +become straighter and your throat and jawline will become leaner +When trigger points in dormant laryngeal muscles become active we feel choked up +Most of us are familiar with the acute version of this sensation that accompanies crying but it +can easily become a chronic problem The feeling of being strangled by the tension in my own +throat was a daily occurrence After only a slight provocation my voice would waver as if had +just been ina fight People around me could hear the strain in my voice and recognized it as an +impairment and a clear indicator of uncertainty recovered slowly and with work through a +gradual process of strengthening these strained weakened muscles +You will find sections of muscles that ache intensely when contracted in a chin lock +Stimulating them daily with contraction will reanimate the dormant muscle fibers clear up the +trigger points increase circulation remove the achy feeling andeventuallymake this +chakralike module steadfast and unfaltering Once this has been done it will be impossible for +you to feel choked up +Another technique to reach inaccessible dormant muscles is to swallow while holding a +chin lock This will ensure that you are not unnecessarily engaging the swallowing muscles in a +state of fear as many people do You have probably seen cartoons where the protagonist gulps +after they are threatened by a bully Remove this tendency by using the exercise below +Vocal Exercise Speaking and Swallowing Through a Chin Lock +Bring your chin back to your Adams apple then toward your chest Visualize the tip of your +chin reaching for your collar bones From that position flex the muscles in your throat as +deeply as possible Search for sore muscles and contract them firmly for up to seconds to +bring them to fatigue While you are holding this chin lock perform the following exercises +To intensify the chin lock open your mouth wide Place your fingertips on your +bottom teeth and pull your lower jaw down to flex your throat muscles more deeply +Swallow while holding a chin lock This may be difficult or painful at first so do it +gently and carefully +Freeze your swallowing musculature halfway through the swallow action You may +need to hold your breath This position will allow you to gently contract an array of +laryngeal muscles +Chew and swallow food maintaining a chin lock throughout an entire meal +Speak or sing through the chin lock Does your voice sound foreign or strange At +first it should sound deep and bold but muffled What you are hearing is your optimal +vocal tone Your end goal should be to speak in this register all the time +Chapter Release Vocal Tension +a +Illustration A Man performing chin lock B Man using fingers to accentuate chin lock C View of the muscles +of the larynx from the back +cannot emphasize enough that many of these exercises such as the chin lock and the +isometric contraction of the diaphragm Exercise require months of explorative work but +result in gradual progress that makes real and lasting changes to your quality of life It took me +two years of practicing a couple of minutes a month but eventually used the chin lock to push +into and break up the partially contracted lump in my throat Using the chin lock to reanimate +dormant muscles in the larynx will instate your fullest most optimal voice and enable you to +speak in deep rich tones +Ujjayi Breath Fogging Up a Glass +have spent numerous hours searching for an optimally relaxed throatvocal posture +After trying countless configurations concluded that the ageold ujjayi breath pose is the +best among them Ujjayi Sanskrit for one who is victorious breath is a common Taoist and +yoga breathing technique which instructors usually describe as breathing while constricting +the back of the throat This constriction is accomplished by complete relaxation and you can +find the ujjayi posture by allowing your vocal cords to go completely limp Ujjayi breathing +makes a hoarse throaty sound because when completely relaxed the vocal cords sit very close +together and vibrate softly as air moves in and out +When at rest the vocal cords should be separated by about eight millimeters of space +During cardiovascular exercise that distance doubles to allow unimpeded breathing The space +between your vocal cords also expands when you are under intense stress This response +happens because your body assumes you are going to be breathing heavily For that reason +a permanently widened vocal opening is a sign of chronic stress If you stop bracing those +muscles though the opening will go back to its normal eight millimeters But how are we +supposed to learn to relax a structure we cant see or feel Luckily the answer is easy +Everyone knows how to do it To perform ujjayi breath simply breathe as if you were trying to +fog up a glass +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Vocal Exercise Fogging Up a Glass +Breathe as if you are trying to fog up a window or mirror Concentrate on relaxing your throat +and the entire vocal apparatus Imagine all the tension in your voice box evaporating +Even though you cannot fog up a glass by inhaling maintain this vocal posture even during +the inhalation +As long as your breath can fog up glass the deep soundproducing muscles should be +completely relaxed You should find that after performing vocal exercise your fatigued +vocal cords can be coaxed into this resting posture more readily This is because it is easier to +make muscles go limp after exercise as long as you focus on the process +When a traumanaive kitten or puppy jumps down to the ground they belt out a soft +hmm sound as their paws make contact This is because ujjayi breath is their default and +their vocal cords always sit right next to one another Every breath for them is the softest +cooing hum As you practice try to emulate that pure and innocent vocal relaxation +You are performing ujjayi breathing properly if you are mere millimeters from a hum You +should hear a breathy wheezing sound as you take each breath a sort of white noise White +noise contains many frequencies with equal intensities Examples include radio static applause +or the sound of surf It is not a coincidence that ujjayi breath is also known as oceans breath +The sound is created by air resistance when the vocal opening is the bottleneck of the +breathing tract +Base of Tongue +Epiglottis +Aryepiglottic Fold +Vocal Fold Cord +Trachea Glottis +Esophageous SN +Illustration A Vocal cord closure B Vocal cords at rest C Vocal cords braced open +Once you develop proficiency breathing with your throat in this configuration try speaking +while retaining it Speak like you are trying to fog up a glass think of this as ujjayi voice +It may sound weak now but it is the optimal way to speak In fact want to encourage you to +perform the vocalization exercises above using ujjayi voice You might also consider the ujjayi +smile pairing your smiling with relaxed breathing Most humans separate the vocal cords +widely when they smile the same way that an eager dog pants as it wags its tail Your every +smile should be accompanied by ujjayi breath +When you relax the throat and breathe as if you were fogging up a glass it becomes a little +harder to breathe Your airway diameter narrows even further Remember from the last +chapter that this is a good thing Ujjayi is an advanced form of resistance breathing Once you +have mastered nose breathing add ujjayi on top of it to increase the resistance even further +Chapter Release Vocal Tension +Breathe this way all the time to develop a more powerful voice and a stronger diaphragm +consider ujjayi breath as the seventh tenet of optimal breathing +Hot chicken soup can help you stop bracing vocal muscles The delicious taste combined +with the warming liquid reduces bracing allowing you to hold the muscles in your throat under +the trigger point activation threshold believe this is why warm broth or hot tea with honey is +commonly thought to help in healing respiratory infections They encourage the restive ujjayi +posture Take advantage of this effect and have a hot soup or drink after practicing the +exercises above +Rehabilitate and Detraumatize Your Cough +A cough is a protective reflex that clears the large breathing passages of foreign particles +microbes phlegm saliva and other fluids It involves a forced exhalation of air against a closed +glottis The diaphragm creates pressure and when this pressure reaches a certain level +the glottis and vocal cords open suddenly resulting in a violent release of air It is essentially +a hiccup in reverse believe that it may also be a mechanism for delivering blood to sensitive +respiratory tissues and thus could play a vital function in overall health +A healthy and effective cough depends on hardy and active respiratory muscles so it is +negatively affected by a lifetime of tension By the time they are old most people have weak +strained coughs that probably no longer perform their healthpromoting functions For many +people on their deathbed debilitated coughing appears to be their weakest link and a factor +that contributes to disease progression For these reasons this short section will guide you in +rehabilitating your cough +Most people cough too hard and strain the muscles involved by doing it haphazardly +This leads to coughing that pits different muscles against each other damaging some and +wearing others down Most people cough violently or not at all This may be because we are +accustomed to thinking of coughing as a negative reaction associated with disease and death +Of course that is far from trueinstead think of coughing as health promoting and learn to do +it gently but vigorously Since performing the exercise below twenty times equating to around +coughs my coughs have been crisp lively and completely painfree +Vocal Exercise Detraumatize Your Cough +Cough times in three minutes Start softly and find a safe sustainable cough Build up to a +more forceful cough while ensuring that there is zero associated pain or strain As you go +breathe in cycles inhaling slowly and deeply then coughing until you have no air left and +repeating You should be coughing five to ten times in a row in between inhalations You may +find that your body instinctively takes over this process so allow these involuntary action +patterns to do their work It should feel good Focus on coughing in different ways at +different depths and with different intensities and pitches Stick out your tongue +Experiment with a barking cough a whooping cough and a staccato cough Try to extend a +cough by creating a prolonged raspy sound over several seconds Think of this as a search for +frailty and seek out dormant muscles that you can activate Afterward pay attention to any +tension or bracing that may have been caused by the exercise and gently quell it +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Strengthen Your Yawn +Your yawn may be another subroutine that you can benefit from rehabilitating Yawning is a +mammalian reflex consisting of inhaling while stretching the face throat jaw tongue pharynx +and eardrums Yawns are largely diaphragmatic and are the longest smoothest breaths that +many mammals take all day Dozens of explanations for yawnings adaptive value have been +proposed by scholars but there is still little agreement about its purpose It has even been +called the least understood human behavior +When mammals yawn they often stretch their spines in some way and the pairing of +these two actions is called pandiculation When your cat or dog yawns while standing +they usually perform a deep backbend or some other stretch at the same time One likely +possibility is that pandiculation is natures way of pairing a diaphragmatic breath with +stretching and isometric contraction the topic of the next few chapters If this is the case +the sheer normalcy of pandiculation in the animal kingdom suggests that this pairing is +something we should emulate +From the perspective of muscular rehabilitation yawning is not so different from coughing +It is a valuable opportunity to stretch and contract a large number of muscles throughout the +head and neck And like coughing in most people yawning becomes weak and regressive over +the course of their lives This is probably because to yawn substantially and resolutely +you must put your social guard down An unrestrained yawn is a great way to prove to your +body and others that you are relaxed recommend yawning as heartily as you can to explore +and strengthen it Practice it before bed because its link with drowsiness may help you fall asleep +Vocal Exercise Strengthen Your Yawn +Yawn twenty times during the next three minutes Practice extending a yawn for at least five +full seconds or as long as you can Take a broad diaphragmatic inhalation while stretching +your throat jaw and tongue Open your mouth wide and clear your Eustachian tube by +firmly popping your ears There is also an underused suite of muscles involved in swallowing +and voice production that your yawn should hit This suite may ache but you can rehab it in +only a few sessions If you watch your yawn in the mirror with your mouth open you can +contract this group by maximizing the distance between your uvula and your tongue Hold +the entire set of various contractions in an unfathomably deep silent roar Yawn like a lion +without worrying who sees it +Compression for the Throat and Larynx +The vocal folds are shielded by cartilage so unfortunately we cannot press our fingers against +the neck to massage or compress them However you can give them some relief by +compressing the tissues around them +Vocal Exercise Compression of the Front of the Neck +Use your thumbs and fingertips to press firmly but gently into your throat Press all over and +from all angles Apply pressure from the jawline all the way to the collar bones and sternum +Another way to find relief is to lean onto the side of a bed while pressing your upper chest +Chapter Release Vocal Tension +and throat into a basketball Use the basketball to compress the sternum and clavicle +This also results in reducing clavicular and thoracic breathing The sensation may make +you cough or gag but it is highly beneficial because it moves and stimulates muscles and +tissues that are usually completely still Be very gentle with this exercise taking it easy +and focusing on dissipating the tension in your throat over a span of several weeks +hes +Y +Hf +Nee NX +Illustration A Larynx B Compression of tissues surrounding the larynx C Compression of the throat and +chest with the use of a basketball +Rushed Speech Enunciation and Clarity +There are many verbal indicators of dominance that are recognized in psychology More +dominant people have more vocal control are louder speak at a lower average pitch talk +more and are more comfortable speaking at a variety of speeds They exhibit more prosodic +variety with increased use of rhythm intonation and melody They also speak with fewer +disfluencies false starts stammering repeated words mispronunciations fillers repaired +utterances etc They are less hesitant to interrupt others are less tolerant of being +interrupted and overlap their speech with that of others more often +People who have been heavily subordinated on the other hand hardly move or open their +mouths when they speak They usually sound uncertain and defensive They also ramble +murmur and stammer to create space for a more charismatic person to interrupt them speak +from experience here In my twenties acted like was about to be interrupted every time +spoke tried so hard to downplay my strengths in front of my friends that enunciated and +articulated poorly choosing not to use descriptive terminology when speaking Over several +years this rendered my speech indistinct and reduced my oncehefty working vocabulary into a +limited one +Instead when you are speaking act as if you have the floor That will build credibility +suspense and engagement with your listeners Perhaps most importantly take your time +Hurried speech and quick responses to other peoples questions are submissive and will quickly +cause you to become tonguetied Do not rush to respond +Employ dramatic pauses For instance pause for two seconds before you speak Pause for a +second or so between some sentences Doing so conveys that you are so assured of your own +power that you trust others wont interrupt The more slowly you speak when talking about +something important the more thoughtful and deliberate you will appear +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Act like whatever you said is helpful interesting and stands alone without feeling forced to +elaborate on it People will commonly underreact to your points and good ideas This will +influence you to flounder in an attempt to better explain yourself breathlessly and +unnecessarily Instead say what you want to say in definitive terms and conclude with +confidence and finality Dont feel like you have to repeat reiterate or reexplain yourself +Chances are your listeners got it the first time even if they act like they didnt +Dont let silence during a conversation worry you In professional negotiations often the +person who is less comfortable with silence loses This is partly because silence makes most +people breathe shallowly Breathe comfortably with all nonverbal aspects of your +conversations and you will become the proverbial pound gorilla in the room +Monitor your breathing carefully during conversations dont let it become shallow Take +deep breaths when the other person talks Pause and breathe in slowly and completely after +every few sentences Dont feel apologetic for making people wait for you to finish your +inhalation Do not jump back into the conversation quickly using a gasp Finish the breath you +were on Your breath comes first +Speaking clearly articulately and with charisma is not showing off Start now Enunciate as +properly as you can and within a few months your utterances will be crystal clear and will +sound more intelligent and persuasive Dont forget to practice these new habits as you speak +to yourself +Relieve Subvocal Tension in the Vocal Cords by Muting the Internal Monologue +An especially useful form of meditation focuses on subduing the restless subvocalizations +within both your head and your larynx The part of your brain responsible for generating +speech called Brocas area is always active producing speech patterns Because of its +incessant activity language often proceeds through our minds whether it is involved +in planning the day singing the words to a song or defending ourselves in a +hypothetical argument +Sometimes of course the activity in Brocas area and other language regions is not +broadcast to the brains conscious areas and so we are not aware of it When this happens we +gain a brief respite from our internal monologues Usually however not only is it broadcasting +its speech to much of the cortex but it is broadcasting instructions for speech to the cortical +motor areas responsible for moving the vocal cords That input causes us to constantly tense +our throats silently going through the motions of speech even as our mouths stay shut +Sometimes the lips and tongue move along with these silent words sometimes they do not +but the voice box almost always follows along Giving ourselves a reprieve from this +interminable activity gives those muscles a rare chance to relax removing some of the strain +they usually feel Try to become aware of your own pressured subvocal speech Using ujjayi +breath can help because vocal bracing is vastly reduced if you breathe as if fogging up a glass +Also notice how your vocal posture becomes more relaxed in the following situations +when you are around other people with low relaxed voices when you wake up in the morning +when you drink a hot beverage after drinking alcohol after taking a cough suppressant and +when reclining in complete safety You might also experiment with the corpse activity from +earlier chapters taking on the limp vocal configuration of a deceased person Spend some time +Chapter Release Vocal Tension +trying to find your most relaxed vocal posture with the intention of being able to reproduce +it on command +Conclusion +Predatory mammals are less likely to attack those who have a deeper voice After reading that +last sentence notice how your vocal posture altered You probably felt tissue in the back of +your throat drop to a more secure configuration However keeping this posture for more than +a few seconds is uncomfortable because it feels so unguarded But this is what you want to +pursue Doing it habitually will make your voice unshakable +Speak to your pets in a deep voice rather than a high squeaky one Do the same with your +children Addressing them in a full voice is not only beneficial for you but will also encourage +them to develop strong voices of their own A higherthannatural voice results in braced and +dormant laryngeal musculature The most powerful version of your voice results from the least +expenditure of energy Sonic dominance is one thing vocal efficiency and efficiency derives +from calm practice +The people with the most beautiful stentorian voices are those who were able to pair +tranquil diaphragmatic breathing with forceful vocal projection while growing up Even if you +didnt have this luxury in childhood you can create it by employing the exercises in this +chapter Hence the final exercise which incorporates several of this chapters key principles +Vocal Exercise Reading Out Loud +Read several pages from a book out loud as in exercise Speak in a calm kind full voice +Take slow full inhalations and read aloud until you have no air left to exhale Focus on +articulating loudly and deeply and allow the vocal tract to fully relax during each inhalation +Read slowly and fluently enunciating as clearly as you can Maintain a subtle ujjayi throat +posture and chin lock Throughout preserve a healthy posture in the rest of your body with +wide eyes and a calm face You might gesticulate with your free hand as you talk or make eye +contact with yourself in a mirror between sentences You might perform a zygomatic smile +while you speak Read to your pets a friend or the following imaginary audiences +A battalion of soldiers hanging on your every word +A huge auditorium or amphitheater filled to capacity +Agroup of thirdgraders in a library captivated by your story +Acongregation listening to your sermon +The listeners of a major broadcasting station +A being with a weak heart who could use a loving voice +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Stressed and submissive mammals vocalize in an artificially high range This is also true +of humans +e Over time persistent high pitch strains the voice box leads to the degradation of the +voice and creates a stubborn lump in the throat +e Speak deeper louder and more assertively Start using your outside voice indoors and +your distance voice in close quarters +e Never whine Stop yourself whenever you notice that you are speaking in a voice that it +higher than natural +e Tense throat muscles can be rehabilitated in several ways including exercising the +muscles involved by holding a chin lock therapeutic coughing massaging the throat +muscles externally muting your internal monologue developing a relaxed default vocal +posture and engaging in diaphragmatic vocalization +e Diaphragmatic vocalization will pull your vocal muscles out of dormancy To do this you +take a deep inhalation and then vocalize until you have no air left You can hum sing +speak growl cough or yell Repeating this over and over with the voice deep and +relaxed will rehabilitate your vocal tract Afterward it is essential to let these exercised +areas rest completely +e The optimal resting vocal posture includes limp vocal cords a relaxed glottis and +breathing as if you are fogging up a glass +Chapter Release Vocal Tension +Chapter Endnotes +Morrison M D Ramage L A Muscle misuse disorders Description and +classification Acta otolaryngologia +Morrison M D Ramage L A Muscle misuse disorders Description and +classification Acta otolaryngologia +Anderson J R Meno P Psychological influences on yawning in children Current +Psychology Letters +Gupta S Mittal S Yawning and its physiological significance international +Journal of Applied and Basic Medical Research +Dunbar N E Burgoon J K Perceptions of power and interactional dominance +in interpersonal relationships Journal of Social and Personal Relationships +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +By adopting a certain physical posture a resonant chord is struck in spirit Bruce Lee +Ideal Posture Spinal Health and Psychological WellBeing +Poor posture uses tension to hold you upright Because poor posture is less biomechanically +efficient than proper posture it takes much more effort to maintain This inefficiency makes it +so that muscles are used even when not needed and so do not get a chance to rest This places +muscles throughout the spine in a state of perpetual fatigue Over time the lack of rest pushes +these muscles into dormancy which in turn bends the spine out of shape +As age advances the extent of degeneration increases and posture generally worsens The +spine curves into a Cshaped orientation and spinal mobility declines Between young +adulthood and older age there is a reduction in all planes of neck movement There is +about a reduction in all planes of lower back movement But this is not an inevitable +consequence of aging Implementing some additional key postural correctives will ensure that +you retain excellent posture It will also enhance your ability to perform activities of daily living +for the rest of your life +The present chapter provides you with the central principles of proper posture +communicating exactly how to hold your body in space As with the diaphragm however +knowing the tenets of proper placement is only half the battle Like the diaphragm your +postural muscles are stuck in partial contraction and the only way to release them is to push +them through their full range of motion over and over again Releasing the muscles from +dormancy in this way is the other half of the battle and the focus of the next four chapters +Proper Posture +e Ensures bones and joints are in alignment and working efficiently +e Prevents the spine from being set in destructive abnormal positions +e Prevents fatigue strain and overuse +e Decreases wearing of joint surfaces that can result in arthritis +e Increases the ability to generate appropriate levels of force at desired joints +e Stabilizes the body against reactive forces and gravity +e Makes you come across as a predator rather than as prey +Poor Posture is Caused by Chronic Subordination +We are all born with perfect posture and many of us maintain it as far as early childhood It +breaks down due to inattention Postural neglect or a lack of body awareness blinds us to our +protruding head rounded back and uneven hips Most people are similarly unaware of the soft +tissue adaptations that reinforce these bad habits When poor posture begins to feel normal +the muscle memory for good posture becomes inaccessible We permit countless blind spots of +overuse and underuse that crumple our bodies These cause incoordination hinder +proprioceptive messages sent to the brain and speed up the formation of trigger points +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Where does poor posture start We ignore our stooping and make little attempt to correct it +because we tacitly assume that any effort to enhance our posture will offend people +Bad posture is a social signal that communicates defeat Slouching with head bowed and +shoulders forward signifies inferiority in many mammals especially monkeys and apes This +posture constitutes a mode of operation for looking downward under the eye line of more +eminent individuals It also declares a defective spine and a reluctance to challenge Primates +commonly use poor posture to avoid being attacked They are sending a signal that they are +already defeated despondent and willing to submit to the wills of others But by impoverishing +their posture nondominant mammals promote the formation of dormant muscles in the spine +This makes them likely to become hunched distorted and weak as they grow older +It is much the same with humans Most people hold themselves as if a lion is about to +attack them Our slouching is heavily braced We do this either to appease others or to put +them at ease We try not to appear like our motions are effortless by attenuating them We try +not to stand to tall by making ourselves look stymied and compacted This is so commonplace +that submissive posturing has become a conventional standard of modern behavior +Poor Posture Creates Pain Stress and Depressive Thinking +Social conflict pressures us to adopt bad posture which unfortunately leads back to more +stress Trigger points and muscle shortening cause pain so the more deviated you are from +your most biomechanically efficient posture the more pain messages besiege your brain +Also because we know that dormant muscles are weak points that will buckle and collapse if +loaded improperly they cause us to move with unease and apprehension This restricted +dynamism makes us feel defenseless and semidisabled turning our personality into that of +a cornered animal +There are many methods for increasing stress in lab rats One of the most effective is to +restrain them by shackling their feet This is known as restraint stress Their stress hormones +go through the roof even when detained for only a few seconds Looking back know that the +curved postural restrictions in my spine were equivalent to shackles and were a source of +restraint stress for me As when our face holds a grimace a stiff stooped spine affects our +unconscious appraisals of the environment +Slumping impedes the lungs ability to fully inflate Adopting a stooping stance causes +experimental subjects to breathe more shallowly because the diaphragm has less room to +descend This accounts for why those same subjects find it much more challenging to learn how +to breathe with the diaphragm when their posture is collapsed instead of erect By suppressing +the diaphragm poor posture also mobilizes the sympathetic nervous system +As you might have perceived slumping is common in depression Studies show that +slouching tends to increase access to helpless hopeless and depressive thoughts +Contrastingly assuming an upright posture results in faster recall of positive memories +increased energy levels better body image and improved affect This is what we want +So next lets look at the specifics of how to position your body dominantly and optimally +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +SelfAssess and Recalibrate Your Posture +Before we discuss the characteristics of optimal posture take a baseline look at your +current posture +Postural Activity Assume What You Think Is Good Posture +Take photographs of yourself without a shirt standing as you usually do Take at least one +from the front and one from the side Next take two more pictures standing in the way you +believe constitutes good posture Pay careful attention to your positional choices so you can +compare them to the postural principles later in this section Six months from now repeat +this exercise to see how your posture has changed +Ideal posture occurs when you use the least amount of energy to balance your body +weight You have three major weights in your body your head chest and pelvis Whether you +are sitting or standing you want to use the curves in your spine to ensure these three weights +are neatly stacked atop one another You can do this by ensuring that your earlobes are in line +with your shoulders which in turn are aligned with your hips If they are not aligned you will +be out of balance and on a path toward pain You can tell whether they are aligned by +examining the pictures you took above or by placing your back against a wall +Postural Activity Use a Wall to improve Your Posture +Stand in a neutral position against a wall Your buttocks should be touching the wall and your +heels should be about two to three inches away from it How much space is there between +your lower back and the wall Make it so that there is only enough to insert your hand Now +pull your head and shoulder blades back to touch the wall Unless your posture is excellent +you will find that you must use tension to keep them back Try walking away from the wall +while maintaining this alignment This is your optimal posture +Cervical +Lordosis +Thoracic +Kyphosis +Lumbar +Lordosis +Cer +Ilustration A Spine from the front B Spine and ribs from the back C Upper skeleton from the front +D Spine from the side facing left exhibiting the three spinal curves cervical neck thoracic middle back +and lumbar lower back +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +A neutral or properly aligned spine exhibits three curves from the profile pictured +above These natural curves can be excessively pronounced or not pronounced enough For +most people they are overly pronounced The curves are a backward curve in the neck +region known as cervical lordosis a forward curve in the upper back called thoracic +kyphosis and a backward curve in the lower back called lumbar lordosis You had to alter +these curves for your head butt and shoulder blades to meet the wall in the activity above +To repair these natural curves and ensure that they are not under or overpronounced use the +following optimal posture protocol +Optimal Posture Protocol +These are the five principles of proper standing posture +Keep your feet shoulderwidth apart pointing straight forward Dont lock your knees +keep them bent slightly +Tilt your hips backward by contracting your gluteus muscles You dont want your hips +tilted forward your lower back arched or your butt sticking out +Tighten the abdominals and pull your abdomen in slightly +Let your arms hang down by your sides Pull your shoulders back and down spreading +your chest Lean your midback backward The goal is to avoid slumping forward in the +Cshape while rounding and shrugging your shoulders +Pull your head backward Pull your chin toward your throat You do not want your head +hanging forward or your jaw jutting out +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +IMlustration Four of the five postural fixes A Contract the gluteus muscles and allow this action to roll the +hips backward and reduce the arch in the lower back B Flex the abs and pull the belly button toward the spine +C Lean the torso back pulling the shoulders back and down D Lean the head backward with the chin tucked in +toward the throat A counteracts excessive lumbar lordosis B and C counteract excessive thoracic kyphosis +and D counteracts excessive cervical lordosis +Try to use these postural tenets at least half the time you are standing up They will feel +oppressive and phony at first but pairing them with full breaths using the upcoming exercises +will make them your new set point +Antilaxity Temporarily Bracing Optimal Posture Will Strengthen It +The exercises in this section involve lightly bracing postures that are integral to postural +strength Up to this point have vilified bracing However the form of bracing used in this +section is deliberate temporary and not destructive because you will be taking breaks and +pairing it with proper breathing +Unfamiliar muscular contractions increase the stress response Previously we discussed +that widening the eyes smiling and looking up cause sympathetic activity to spike Standing up +straight does this too It is the same with flexing the buttocks the abdominals and even the +biceps This link between firm contraction and stress keeps our muscles from having ideal tone +at the joint This reduction in tone is known as muscle laxity Forceful contractions make us feel +like we are showing off or like we are doing something unnatural This in turn makes us +breathe shallowly This results in countless muscles going lax and a reluctance to engage +physically with the environment We can reverse it with diaphragmatic breathing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +In general people who breathe shallowly in response to unfamiliar contractions have the +lowest tone and the smallest muscles On the other hand people who breathe comfortably +even under heavy loads tend to be muscular These tendencies form in childhood but you can +still influence them now The following exercises will ask you to pair paced breathing with +different forms of muscular bracing and loading When you breathe calmly through the +discomfort this causes you are utilizing the Program Peace antilaxity method +When performing antilaxity you are looking for any unfamiliar loading patterns that +cause you to tremble require great concentration to maintain or take your breath away +During episodes of anxiety or submission some muscles go lax more than others and feel +uncomfortable to contract These are the muscles you are targeting An example of this is +performing a plank Most people quiver and experience discomfort when planking You want to +spend time in these kinds of configurations teaching your body that they are safe and learning +to breathe easily within them even for several seconds at a time After cumulative minutes +of exerting yourself at a moderate intensity in these loading configurations they will become +familiar stable and sound The chin lock facial exercises and eyewidening from previous +chapters are all examples of antilaxity exercises +Antilaxity Protocol +Find a group of muscles you have neglected because you feel uncomfortable or self +conscious contracting them +Hold a firm contraction in these muscles for five to seconds until they start to fatigue +Let them rest for twenty seconds and repeat These contractions are generally meant to +be isometric meaning that they do not involve motion Without risking strain or injury +alternate between clenching them softly and then very tightly between and of +their maximum +These contractions may make you startle or tremble may require concentration or may +make you breathe shallowly If it feels shaky feeble or wobbly you know it needs +antilaxity +In Chapter said that we lightly brace our hands all day in the form of a claw However +we are afraid to ball our hands into tight fists because other people may notice and think we +are preparing to fight This is why simply clenching our hands into fists raises our heart and +breathing rates The exercise below will use antilaxity to heal this priming your fingers and +forearms for building strength The exercises that follow do the same for other postural +systems Perform each with your breath metronome +Postural Exercise Making a Fist +Clench your fists into tight balls Feel the contractions in each knuckle Alternate between +clenching softly and then as tightly as you can Start with your wrists straight Spend time +rolling your wrists in wide circles while the fists are clenched Become comfortable with the +sensations you feel throughout your hands and forearms +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +Postural Exercise Clench the Elbow +Clench your elbows by contracting your biceps triceps and forearm muscles Do this with +the arms bent at different angles from to degrees Do it with the wrists rotated to +different extents Pose like an action movie star your arms crossed in front of you with all +the muscles flexing Try it with the arms behind the back Over a matter of days this will go +from feeling enfeebled to electrifying +Postural Exercise Clenching the Buttocks +While standing clench your gluteus muscles into tight balls Do this while placing your legs +and lower back in different positions If you do this while lying on your back each gluteal +contraction should lift you slightly off the ground +Postural Exercise Clenching the Abdominals +Flex your abdominal muscles While you do this suck your gut all the way in You should be +able to absorb a light punch to the stomach without the punch hitting your internal organs +Take a knuckle or a tool and lightly strike the abs in different regions from the ribs to the +pubic bone to ensure that the abs are taut in all areas +Within a minute of performing the abdominal exercise above you should notice your back +round forward and your chest cave in toward your stomach You dont want to reinforce this +Continue to perform the exercise but with your back extended and your chest puffed out +optimal posture tenet four This will overhaul your tendency to collapse the middle of your +back when your abdominal muscles contract Combining this with a contraction in your glutes +will align your ribcage with your pelvis Combining it with the next two exercise will align these +with your neck +Postural Exercise Shoulders Down While Supine +Lie down on the floor on your back and slightly tuck your shoulder blades underneath you +Put your arms at your sides and raise your hands off the floor to the level of your hips Next +push your arms down as if you were reaching for your knees This will prime your shoulders +to remain down and back +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Postural Exercise Bringing the Chin Toward the Chest +While standing gently lean your head back until it aligns with the rest of your spine rather +than in front of it Next bring your chin in toward your neck This firm contraction in the +front of your neck is a chin lock previously described in Chapter Feel how this resituates +the neck +You may want to start out performing exercises on your back on the floor +This remedial position will help you isolate relax and focus When that feels comfortable +try using all of them simultaneously while standing up as in the next exercise +Postural Exercise Optimal Posture While Standing +Stand up straight and perform exercises simultaneously Contract your glutes and +abdominal muscles as you tuck your shoulder blades behind you Puff out your chest and +press your arms toward the floor as you straighten the back of your neck Using antilaxity +stand tall strong and resolute +While you may feel apprehensive about how others will perceive you in this stance initially +dont let this undermine your posture Stand as if people staring at you wouldnt reduce +your resolve Stand as if a caliber handgun discharge wouldnt make you flinch Stand as if +you wouldnt surrender even one iota of your optimal form even if you were being tased +Steel yourself against any startling or trembling +Shift your weight and the distribution of contractions to explore this configuration Even just +cumulative minutes over several days will appreciably desensitize you to the discomfort +involved in sustaining this position After a total of an hour it should become credible to +others and dependable for you +Most programs aimed at improving posture tell us not to stand unnaturally erect like a +soldier While they are correct in claiming that this can create more tension they are wrong to +think that it should never be done Tensing and bracing hard within the four postural tenets +Exercises is the best way to augment posture as long as you limit it to under a minute +at a time allow for ample regenerative breaks and breathe properly If you use antilaxity to +repeatedly fatigue your deep postural muscles and then give them the rest they need they will +gain the strength and endurance to buttress your optimal posture The following illustrations +provide some examples of positions and poses you can perform antilaxity within +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +SPAY AR +poe RU +ee hy ay +ENDS Hr +Thitict +Illustration Examples of positions and poses you can achieve antilaxity from +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Good Posture Requires Healthy Active Spinal Muscles +The spine also known as the backbone or vertebral column is a stacked set of bone disks It +gives the trunk stability and protects the spinal cord The human spine comprises a complex +chain of ligaments fascia bone and intervertebral discs and their health is dependent on the +tone of the surrounding spinal muscles When the tone is either too high or too low dormancy +and damage ensues +When think of the spine envision an inner worm that wants to stretch out and squirm in +all directions Dormant spinal muscle is like an oppressively tightened straitjacket that warps +and restricts the worms movement Large sections of the back neck and hips are not just +braced in most people they are splinted as in a body cast Due to the discomfort involved we +try to keep these joint configurations as still as possible We move the rest of the body around +these rigid wounded areas When we accidentally use them they force us to startle and take +our breath away Thus see the entire spine as a kind of chakra of its own one capable of +holding massive amounts of trauma in the form of painful muscle shortening +The muscles that encase your spinal column constitute your true core and as a unit are +the ultimate module to rehabilitate These muscles run up and down your spine interdigitating +between your vertebrae and connecting them to various other body parts By pushing and +pulling against the vertebral bones spinal muscles help your core bend twist and turn It is +difficult to move athletically without a mobile spine because the neck shoulders and hips are +anchored in the spine where they provide a base for the head arms and legs Joseph Pilates +referred to the neck shoulders and hips as the powerhouse of the body and insisted that +they provide the foundation for all movement For this reason spinal dormancy is a primary +limiting factor for people trying to build strength in their arms and legs Are you having trouble +putting on muscle or losing fat You need to rehab your spine first if you want to reap the +benefits of exercise +You want all the minor muscle groups in and around your spine to be capable of +contracting entirely have full range of motion and articulate effortlessly during everything you +do When the muscles lining your vertebrae are active from top to bottom atlas to coccyx you +cant help but move nimbly hold yourself gracefully and think confidently In the previous +section we started to train them to hold a specific configuration In the next section we will +wake them up +Backward Spinal Stretches Will Straighten You Out +Social apprehension causes us to bend our spine forward flexion but rarely backward +extension This results in difficulty and pain in any motions that require backward bending +Habitual stooping shortens the joint structures in the front of the spine and lengthens those in +the back This creates the characteristic C shape +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +Cervical +Vertebrae +Thoracic +Vertebrae +Lumbar +Vertebrae +Sacrum +Coccyx +Illustration A Healthy spine with natural curvature B Collapsed unhealthy spine with excessive curvature +and exaggerated Cshape +The best way to override the Cshaped spine is to regularly bend in the opposite direction +creating a backward C There are many poses introduced in upcoming chapters to help with +this but the best way to start is to lie back onto a ball Start with a large inflatable stability ball +Spending time lying on your back on top of a stability ball will stretch the compressed muscles +in the front of the spine and contract the atrophied muscles in the back After a few weeks or +months try this with a foam roller Lie on your back on the carpet and place the foam roller in +different places under your spine Very carefully move the foam roller to different areas +relaxing and breathing into the stretches You are spottreating your backward arch Once you +are accustomed to this try rolling down the length of your back on the foam roller Please be +careful The probability of a person with a bad back hurting themselves in this way is so high +that foam rollers are rarely advertised for this purpose You can gravely injure yourself by doing +this too aggressively without listening to your body It should never hurt Rolling down the +length of your spine on top of a basketball is even more ambitious However after working up +to it anyone would benefit from performing this daily as in the exercise below +Postural Exercise Backward Extension ona Ball +Lie on your back and place a basketball underneath your neck between your shoulder +blades Beginners should use a deflated basketball and work up to using a fully inflated ball +Carefully roll from the top of your spine to the bottom three times Stop at the kinked +portions and stretch into the position from all angles This will help you achieve spinal +contractions in the weakest of muscles that you could never ordinarily reach while standing +or sitting If you use the antilaxity protocol while doing this the contractions will make your +back strong and straight Make sure you are relaxed and breathing deeply Without paced +breathing you will resist the balls curvature With paced breathing you will melt into it This +will literally straighten you out +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration A Backward bend on a stability ball B Achieving a full backward bend at different spinal +segments using a foam roller C Rolling down the length of the spine on a basketball +Maintain Good Posture in Bed and When Waking +We have talked about optimal posture while standing In this section we will discuss it during +sleep and in the next section during sitting The best sleeping posture is limp and linear +You want to sleep with a straight back and neck Avoid curling up into the fetal position +which usually involves bracing and reinforces the Cshaped spinal configuration Attaining +proper support can help When sleeping on your back try placing a pillow under the knees +When sleeping on the side place a pillow between the knees If you sleep predominantly on +your side buy a body pillow and hug it straddling it with your arms and legs You also want a +firm mattress that does not sag or contour your existing posture An extrafirm mattress may +take weeks to get used to but it will straighten your spine as you slowly learn not to brace +against a flat surface +Illustration A Woman curled into a Cshape while sleeping B Slightly improved sleeping position +C Muchimproved straight sleeping position +Postural Exercise Stretches to Do in Bed +When your alarm clock goes off in the morning hit the snooze button once and buy yourself +five minutes to perform three fundamental stretches Employ antilaxity while doing the +following +Lay on your stomach Lie there with your head turned to each side for a few minutes +to get a good stretch in your neck If laying on your stomach puts a strain on your +lower back bend one knee and bring it toward your chest +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +Lay in the yoga L shape pictured below and slowly rock your feet in different +directions to get a good stretch through your hips +Lay on your back and place a pillow or two under your thoracic spine Spend time +lying motionless then try stretching your chest neck and back from this position +Illustration A Laying stomach head to the side B Lshaped stretch for the hips C Pillow under the +thoracic spine +Postural Exercise Stretches to Do Out of Bed +After you get out of bed set your breath metronome for five minutes and perform the +following antilaxity exercises to wake up your spine You can combine these stretches with +Exercise by performing them while looking into your own wide eyes in a mirror +Start with knees shins backs of the feet and hands on the floor For the first minute +press away from the ground while shrugging the shoulders Do this while warming +into the forward curves kyphosis in your neck middle back and lower back +For the next two minutes warm up the backward curves lordosis in your neck +middle back and lower back +For the final two minutes sit on the floor with the back of your legs flat against the +ground Let your head hang and sink your head and neck toward your knees +Illustration A Kneeling shoulder shrug with full kyphosis in the neck and lower back B Kneeling backward +stretch with full lordosis in the neck and lower back C Sitting forward stretch with full kyphosis in the middle back +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Sitting with Poor Posture Is Extremely Unhealthy +Most of us sit far too much Many of us are forced to sit just to earn a living It is estimated that +percent of office workers use computers with percent reporting usage of at least four +hours per day Unfortunately using a computer for four or more hours per day greatly +increases the risk of musculoskeletal disorders This is one of the reasons office workers who +sit in chairs garner more musculoskeletal injuries than any other industry and have the highest +risk of heart disease diabetes metabolic syndrome cancer and back and neck pain Even +people who do not work in an office setting develop misalignments from sitting This happens +at school in the car and in front of the television +Sitting intensifies the rounding of our spines into the Cshape When the spine is rounded +the weight distribution changes creating perpendicular shear forces This resting tension +compresses the spine and weakens crucial muscles robbing you of the mobility and strength +you need to sit stand and walk properly Worse yet because your body adapts to the position +you assume throughout the day the more you sit the more you want to sit +In his book Deskbound physical therapist Kelly Starrett calls sitting a toxic position that +feasts on athletic potential It truly is The best recourse is to vary your posture often to get +blood to stagnant poorly perfused muscles You should shift positions every two minutes from +one neutral position to another Every minutes straighten your legs squeeze your thighs +together and flex your glutes Grab the back of the chair behind you and use it to twist It is +also important to take fiveminute breaks during which you walk away from your chair every +hour Dont be afraid to lie down take a walk or stretch during your breaks +The postural misalignments due to sitting are made worse by shallow breathing Studies +show that people automatically engage in shallow breathing when working at a desk especially +if they are behind a keyboard In some studies every participant who placed their hands ona +keyboard demonstrated an increased respiration rate and reduced motion of the diaphragm +This happens because sitting positionally inhibits the diaphragm As mentioned earlier +slumping encroaches on the diaphragms natural range of motion forcing shallow breathing +which in turn causes the release of stress hormones +Sitting up straight in your chair deepens your breath as does breathing through your nose +So you might want to think about taping your mouth at your desk to ensure nasal breathing +also strongly suggest using a breath metronome at your desk Remember how hard it was +back in Chapter to eat a meal while following a breath metronome for the first time Trying to +do office work while engaged in paced breathing is even more difficult to coordinate at first +It will initially interfere with your concentration +Most people hold their breath intermittently when trying to focus their attention in what +has been called concentration apnea As you read in Chapter shallow distressed +breathing helps us focus in the short term due to its association with adrenaline and alertness +However after using a breath metronome at your desk for a week or two you can override +your tendency toward concentration apnea and develop the ability to focus concertedly while +breathing diaphragmatically Place your phone with the breathing app software running next to +your computer monitor and follow it out of the corner of your eye Dont be surprised if pairing +paced breathing with desk work helps you change your whole attitude about your job while +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +increasing your productivity and work ethic in general It is much like whistling while +you work +The Ideal Sitting Posture +To sit optimally you must maintain the natural lordosis in your neck and lower back that is +present while standing To do this sit up in your chair with your back straight Shoulders should +hang straight down Elbows should not be in front of the torso and hands should be below the +level of the elbows Place your keyboard accordingly +When it comes to your lower back and hips it is essential to distribute your weight equally +Remove anything from your back pockets such as a wallet or phone to assist with this When +sitting keep your knees a few inches wider than your hips as this will stabilize your pelvis +Your knees should also be level with or slightly below the hips but not above them Keep the +toes pointed forward with the feet flat on the floor If your back is leaning against the chair +press your buttocks against the chair back too If not sit at the edge of the seat placing about +percent of your weight is on your feet +It is obligatory to sit with most of your weight transferred to the chair through your sitz +bones ischial tuberosities The sitz bones are two protuberances at the lowest point of the hip +bone pictured below The cushion on many chairs makes it challenging to find your sitz bones +However when sitting on a hard surface you should be able to find them easily If you cannot +feel two hard contact points one under each gluteus then you are not sitting on your sitz +bones and your spine is likely curved Curved pillars have little structural integrity Rock back +and forth on your sitz bones to find a sturdy upright posture This is active sitting You are more +likely to stay seated on your sitz bones when you sit on the edge of the chair sit on a hard +wooden or metal chair or place a hard object like a book underneath you +Most people actively avoid sitting on the sitz bones sitting instead on their tail bone +and tucking the pelvis like a shrimp This is a form of lumbar kyphosis also known as posterior +pelvic tilt A tucked pelvis inactivates our hip flexors putting all the strain of sitting on the +lower back Avoid this by pretending you have a vestigial tail extending from the base of your +spine Dont sit on the base of your tail Instead sit below it on the sitz bones allowing your +imaginary tail to emerge just above the place of contact with your chair +Illustration A Pelvis with sitz bones at the bottom B Pelvis seen from the side resting on tail bone +C Pelvis resting on sitz bones D Skeleton sitting on sitz bones +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +It can be tiring to sit on your sitz bones all day Therefore do what postural experts advise +against and sink down in your chair sitting on your tailbone for at least two to five minutes +every hour You can use this position as a brief counterpose When you do so stretch +lordotically and kyphotically and swivel the hips Standing is good too Many people use +standing desks You might consider placing your laptop on a bookshelf around waist height for +a few hours at a time to create your own standing desk +The design of most chairs conforms to the average persons poor posture However you +can avoid this trap by buying an ergonomic postureconscious desk chair You might consider +buying a lumbar pillow specially designed to support your lower back You can also place a roll +vertically down your spine helping you to push your shoulders back Change the settings on +both your chair and car seat frequently to expose your sitting posture to different loading +profiles If your seat reclines spend a portion of your sitting time leaning back at an angle +The more positions you can use the better +Cross and spread your legs more often Being comfortable sitting with the legs spread is +one of the most telling signs of dominance We must remove the stigma against men crossing +their legs and women spreading their legs Similarly many people inhibit pronounced flexion +and extension of the lower back because they fear others will see it as sexual We need to feel +comfortable assuming these postures in public because they allow us to refresh our hips groin +and lumbar spine leading to more postural variation and stronger more mobile backs +Daily sitting time is a major risk factor for diabetes and cardiovascular disease This is the +case even in people who exercise regularly Studies have shown that even daily exercise cannot +counteract the effects of sitting and sedentariness However think that diaphragmatic +breathing postural variation antilaxity and antirigidity discussed in the next chapter may +Remaining in a static sitting position for years on end dramatically reduces circulation and +mobility We can avoid this by using other postures that serve as alternatives to traditional +ways of sitting The figures below offer some for your consideration +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +Illustration Several different positions for working or reading that are good alternatives to conventional +sitting The oblong ball pictured in the last two illustrations is an inflatable peanut +Our ancestors rarely sat on a raised surface like a chair Rather they sat on the ground +knelt or squatted In other words chair sitting is unnatural for humans Yet Americans sit in +chairs or sofas for an average of hours a day Many experts believe that musculoskeletal +integrity is much better in countries where people sleep on the floor use squat toilets and do +not use chairs This is because they must crouch kneel and bend over several times per day +Many Americans co not crouch kneel or bend over at all +The main reason older people are placed into nursing homes is that they cannot get off the +ground on their own Indeed the ability to get up from and down to the floor is a good +predictor of overall mortality This should motivate you whether reading watching TV +or relaxing to spend as much time on the ground in as many different positions as possible +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Dont watch TV from the couch Watch it from a million different positions on the floor +You might start with some of the following +pro tia PBK +A EAL Y +RAG BACs +BA cca +Dd Be AH A +baa +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +Conclusion +believe that in the workplace in classrooms and even within families we are constantly +sending each other nonverbal feedback practically bullying each other into slouching When +someone else stands straight we have a natural inclination to be offended Our instinct is to try +to pull them back down What we should do is applaud them while being reminded to better +monitor our own posture If you notice people trying to coerce you back into slouching just +ignore it and reassure yourself that they are in the wrong +This chapter guided you to brace within the five tenets of optimal posture and pair this +bracing with diaphragmatic breathing While doing so you should have noticed that some +points within each posture were marked by weakness and pain Holding your back neck and +shoulders in firmly upright positions probably feels tight and somewhat intense It is a brittle +aching pain almost as if the muscles are asking you to leave them alonewarning you that +excessive use will lead to injury This aching is the signature of dormant muscle and to treat it +we need an entirely different technique The next chapter will show you how to rehab it by +contracting into it and breathing through the discomfort using a method call antirigidity +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Mammals signal submission with their body posture They collapse the spine which +over time strains it and causes pain +e Postural concessions lead the muscles that support confident posture and dominance +poses to become frail shortened and stuck in partial contraction +e Stooping to look nonthreatening will bend your spine into a forward Cshape over time +e Backbends repair this forward Cshape by strengthening your backward C +e Laying backward over an inflatable stability ball foam roller or basketball will straighten +your spine +e The five tenets of optimal posture are +Space your feet shoulderwidth apart with toes pointing forward +Roll your hips forward and contract your gluteus muscles +Tense your abdomen taut and gently pull your belly button toward the spine +Pull your shoulders back and down +Tilt your head back and pull your chin toward your throat +e Building postural muscles can be accomplished by pairing paced breathing with firm +contractions in the muscles that support the five tenets above +e Combining very firm contractions of muscles that are not used to contracting firmly and +may tremble under load and combining this with paced breathing is a therapeutic +method called antilaxity +e Vary your position often whether sitting standing or lying down +e Postural inattention is a major contributor to poor posture so be mindful of your +posture during everyday activities +e Sitting tense motionlessly while shallow breathing is highly detrimental to posture and +health in general +e Sitting directly on the sitz bones rather than the tailbone will support your lower back +and keep it strong +e It is much healthier to sit on the floor in various positions than to sit in a chair or +a couch +Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power +Chapter Endnotes +Satariano W Guralnik J M Jackson R J Marottoli R A Phelan E A Prohaska +T R Mobility and aging New directions for public health action American Journal of +Public Health +de Waal F The bonobo and the atheist In search of humanism among the +primates WW Norton Company +Collins A Gestures body language and behavior DKC +Dael N Mortillaro M Scherer K R Emotion expression in body action +and posture Emotion +Mason L Joy M Peper E Harvey R A March Posture matters Poster +presentation th Annual Meeting of the Association for Applied Psychophysiology and +Biofeedback Chicago IL +Michalak J Troje N F Fischer J Vollmar P Heidenreich T Schulte D +Embodiment of sadness and depression Gait patterns associated with dysphoric mood +Psychosomatic Medicine +Peper E Booiman A Lin M Harvey R Increase strength and mood with +posture Biofeedback +Peper E Lin IM Harvey R Perez J How posture affects memory recall +and mood Biofeedback +Peper E Lin IM Increase or decrease depression How body postures influence +your energy level Biofeedback +Canales J Z Cordas T A Fiquer J T Cavalcante A F Moreno R A +Posture and body image in individuals with major depressive disorder A controlled study +Revista Brasileira de Psiquiatria +Wilkes C Kydd R Sagar M Broadbent E Upright posture improves affect and +fatigue in people with depressive symptoms Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental +Psychiatry +Pavilack L Alstedter N Painfree posture handbook Althea Press +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Bond M The new rules of posture How to sit stand and move in the modern +world Healing Arts Press +Sjogaard G Lundberg U Kadefors R The role of muscle activity and mental +load in the development of pain and degenerative processes at the muscle cell level during +computer work European Journal of Applied Physiology +Starrett K Cordoza G Becoming a supple leopard The ultimate guide to +resolving pain preventing injury and optimizing athletic performance Victory Belt Publishing +Starrett K Starrett J Cordoza G Deskbound Standing up to a sitting world +Victory Belt Publishing +Peper E Harvey R Tylova H Stress protocol for assessing computer related +disorders Biofeedback +Peper E Burke A Peper E J Captured by the computer A psychophysiological +profile of boys playing computer games Proceedings of the Thirty Second Annual Meeting of +the Association for Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback Wheat Ridge CO AAPB +Olsson A The power of your breath The secret key to reshaping your looks your +body your health and your weight Anders Olsson +Bailey D P Hewson D J Champion R B Sayegh S M Sitting time and risk of +cardiovascular disease and diabetes A systematic review and metaanalysis American Journal +of Preventative Medicine +Levine J Get up Why your chair is killing you and what you can do about it St +Martins Press +Starrett K Starrett J Cordoza G Deskbound Standing up to a sitting world +Victory Belt Publishing +Brito L B Ricardo D R Araujo D S Ramos P S Myers J Araujo C G +Ability to sit and rise from the floor as a predictor of allcause mortality European Journal of +Preventive Cardiology +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant +Muscle to Fatigue +The last chapter explained that to have optimal posture you must free your postural muscles +from partial contraction This chapter emphasizes that to do this you must search your body +for these segments of dormant muscle and push them through their full range of motion +These full firm contractions should be held long enough to push the muscle to fatigue As soon +as fatigue is reached it should be followed by full relaxation This chapter will describe how to +use this new technique that call antirigidity therapy to reinstate motion diversity in your +life created this technique by experimenting on myself and developed it further while using it +with my clients It will work for you but only if you are breathing diaphragmatically +Using Dormant Muscles Wakens Them from Dormancy +The lives of our nomadic huntergatherer ancestors featured endless variation in movement +They spent their time foraging hunting scouting ranging and setting up and breaking down +camps They dug for vegetables picked fruit made weapons cleaned animal hides prepared +food and carried wood water and children On the other hand the modern human habitat is +one of urban dwelling sedentary technology use and cultures of convenience Most people go +months without extending their muscles beyond the requirements for mere walking Compared +to our ancestors the geometric diversity of our daily motions is impoverished +We are essentially animals in captivity imprisoned by the incredibly low variation of our +movement patterns By moving in the same limited ways we deny our bodies the nutritious +movement they are starving for We selflimit our ranges of motion because of bracing +postural inattention intimidation sitting restraining working positions laziness surgery injury +and loadbearing including things like pregnancy heavy backpacks breast augmentation and +obesity The tension from these activities results in shortened hypertonic dormant muscle +Medical experts have documented that dormant segments of the spine exhibit many of the +same physiological properties as cadaver spine They get so little blood that they might as well +be zombie flesh Because their oxygen and nutrient supply has been strangled off these beef +jerkylike muscles in your back hurt Pushing them into contraction outside of their customarily +restricted range causes pain Accidentally forcing them into rapid full contraction eg during a +fall can be excruciating This pain and fear of it can influence us to avoid using dormant +muscle entirely +We engineer the use of dormant muscles out of our lives and find ways to get around +having to use them which leads to a poorly balanced and ungainly physique This +compensation leads us to use other muscles that are biomechanically less efficient at +completing the task Then these muscles also take on strain To correct this problem we must +reteach ourselves to use the dormant partially contracted muscle by flexing through the +untapped phases of its contractile range +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Antirigidity Training The AchingCracking Method +The antirigidity technique involves finding the most dormant parts of the body and subjecting +them to a fullrange stretch and fullrange contraction The first step is to find a dormant joint +To do this you must search for two sensations that are usually found together cracking or +popping of the joint and sore achy muscle You should notice that as you bring a joint into +the range where it cracks it will feel sore if held in that position These areas feel brittle +because they are frail from disuse Once you have found a position like this you want to gently +contract the muscles involved while engaging in paced breathing +At first it feels unnatural to hold a posture that cracks for a prolonged period Your impulse +will be to achieve the crack and allow the muscles to relax immediately thereafter Avoid this +inclination Whether the joint cracks is not important What is important is that you take your +time stretching and flexing into the joint configurations susceptible to cracking Cracking +provides temporary relief from joint pain through the release of endorphins but does not heal +tension You want permanent relief that is provided only by strengthening the joint and the +muscles surrounding it +Antirigidity Protocol +Find a contraction or active stretch that feels stiff and achy when held This often +involves an unfamiliar position or posture and leads to cracking at the joint The point +where this configuration cracks is the most in need of rehab Engage stabilize and hold +the position until it fatigues This usually takes between five and seconds +Hold the general parameters of the posture while varying others Move the joint +dynamically utilizing its range of motion in every possible vector flexing into the ones +that seem the stiffest or sorest If you can continually reposition you can approach the +problem from different angles Antirigidity can be done with concentric contractions +in which the muscle shortens eccentric contractions in which the muscle lengthens +or isometric contractions in which the muscle does not change length +Allow the area at least seconds of complete rest before you try again Use this respite +to recognize what the muscle feels like when it is completely resting +Stimulate dormant muscles throughout the body in this way while breathing correctly +As long as you are breathing diaphragmatically you should feel the ache diminish in a +matter of seconds At first the ache may be so intense that it makes paced breathing +difficult In that case just ensure that you are taking long passive exhalations You can +facilitate this by taking deep inhalations through the mouth and then puckering your lips +and blowing out for as long as possible to reinforce the relaxation response +After your antirigidity training session it is essential to allow these muscles to relax +completely so lie down employing the corpse pose body scan or progressive muscle +relaxation from Chapter and let the contractions subside +Start by targeting raw and achy areas in your shoulders neck back and hips This achiness is +the deep somatic pain and myalgia that we discussed in Chapter Search for this discomfort +within your unexplored end ranges of motion It helps to position yourself in ways that are out +of the ordinary Wiggle and writhe in these positions as you hunt for tissue to restore +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +Gently jostle the muscles to get them moving Start with what you can find and then spend the +most time in the configurations you would like to heal You are hunting for that crick in the +neck tweak in the shoulder and twinge in the lower back By the time you have used anti +rigidity to dispel all the achiness from your body your posture will be statuesque +Antirigidity Activity Sense the Tightness in Your Shoulders +Stand or sit with your hands on your hips Keep your hands there and press your elbows out +in front of you You should feel a tight stiff sensation in your upper back shoulders and +arms This is the aching sensation that am asking you to locate throughout your body Play +with the posture gently shrugging bending your elbows and flapping the arms Use the anti +rigidity protocol above to find sore muscles while stretching and contracting within this pose +Ilustration Antirigidity for the shoulders +Antirigidity Activity Contract Dormant Muscle in the Neck +Locate the achy muscles in your neck There should be many uncomfortable positions that +feel sore and crack Try looking up as far as you can while rotating your head to both sides +Try looking down as far as you can and then to both sides Try touching your chin to your +chest and then tilting your head to each side Try touching your chin to each shoulder +repeatedly When you find an uncomfortable position hold it for several seconds while +maintaining paced breathing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Antirigidity for the neck +As you work through these tender areas integral sections of your body will start to +open up You might ask yourself Is this whole region going to become unlocked and available +to me Yes it will If you keep practicing eventually it will all come unglued Below are +illustrations of some antirigidity poses that will help you to expose and recondition frailty +As you practice these you will inevitably come up with poses of your own that are better suited +for your particular strain pattern +igue +tirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fat +Chapter An +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +exgu E +eo +hl +QDR CR A +ET GIN A +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +At first antirigidity work feels unnatural but after a while your muscles will thirst for it +and you will find yourself doing it without realizing it Relish the alleviation of the ache Bask in +the sensation of sending fresh blood through dormant tissue Memorize the sensorial signature +of tensity It feels a little like the gnawing burn that accompanies lactic acid buildup It is also +similar to the soreness you feel when massaged Antirigidity will help you locate the best +candidates for compression and percussion If for example you used antirigidity to identify +the precise location of tightness to the right of your lower cervical spine you should then try to +compress it Using massage to release muscles after antirigidity training will allow them to fully +relax so they can heal +After antirigidity the muscle you treated will have increased blood flow for several hours +This means that any other activity or exercise you perform during this time will recruit that +muscle and condition it to be more easily recruited in the future However within just a few +hours of disuse the muscles will stagnate again The more frequently you refresh dormant +muscles with antirigidity the faster they will come out of dormancy recommend using it +before and after long periods of sitting upon waking before bed and after your usual +exercise routine +Using antirigidity you teach your brain to control muscle that it has come to ignore +through learned disuse You are actively relearning how to incorporate these neglected muscles +into your daily routines and overall posture This will develop your proprioceptive awareness +knowledge about where your muscles are in space and kinesthetic awareness ability to +coordinate muscles cohesively while enhancing neuromuscular coordination and agility +Antirigidity will also reduce the fidgeting and restlessness that painful dormant muscle causes +It might look strange to others but dont worry about that Feel comfortable performing +antirigidity training wherever you go whether in front of friends or in public believe that +antirigidity therapy is one of the most beneficial somatic selfhealing techniques available +How Antirigidity Works +Antirigidity causes mechanical deformations in muscle that result in cascades of beneficial +biochemical processes For instance it is known that contracting dormant muscle compresses +embedded arterioles and other blood vessels causing their walls to relax and spread open +vasodilation The walls open wide drawing blood into the surrounding capillaries This pulls +oxygen into the area and allows the clearance of waste products built up from sustained +contraction Over time it enhances the resilience and pliability of not just muscles but also +tendons ligaments and fascia +Some of your muscles get this perfusion and clearance every day but the dormant ones +are deprived of it Even during a fullbody workout dormant muscles often receive only +minimal contraction Exercise only improves the distribution of oxygen and nutrients to the +muscles used in that particular exercise In other words the benefits of exercise are not +systemic This is why pursuing varied movement is so important Missing out on essential loads +is like missing out on essential vitamins +In physical rehabilitation and sports training there is a popular principle called SAID +specific adaptation to imposed demand This states that your muscles will gradually get better +at the demands you place on it If you contract seldomused muscles they will adapt and with +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +time be able to contract fully The best way to take advantage of the SAID principle is to make +small demands on the body and to gradually increase the intensity as the body adapts +Antirigidity gently forces trigger points to contract causes them to unravel and burn out +This lengthens the muscle quells muscle spasms extinguishes ongoing inflammation and +unfurls myofascial restrictions As you do this you are weeding the trauma out of your spine +scaling down your chronic pain and diminishing its emotional burden By providing the muscle +the exercise it has been deprived of full contraction affords it the ability to rest and recover In +essence by pushing muscles with minimal capability for endurance to full fatigue antirigidity +builds their endurance Because much of your dormant muscle is postural converting it into +muscle capable of enduring body weight will resurrect your bodys foundation +For clarity the following table summarizes some of the important distinctions between +antilaxity and antirigidity It is important to note that the two do overlap to an extent and that +they also complement each other in practice +Sensations +Involved +Action +Consequence +Anti Firm Hypotonic Reinforcing Weakness Increasing +laxity isometric atrophied postures of and strength and +contraction muscle strength trembling tone +Anti Stretch Hypertonic Rehabilitating Aching Decreasing +rigidity combined dormant muscles stuck in soreness weakness and +with firm muscle partial and excessive tone +contraction contraction cracking +Table Comparing Antilaxity with Antirigidity +Antirigidity Fills in Missing Corners +Dormant muscles are responsible for the missing corners in your range of motion Because +the muscle is stuck in partial contraction it is incapable of moving pliantly People of Eastern +philosophical persuasions call these energy blocks While prior chapters have examined the +effect this has on the diaphragm eyes face and vocal apparatus this chapter focuses +specifically on the spine core and postural muscles There are numerous muscles throughout +your spine that you only contract within percent of their full range of motion Find them and +rescue them by pushing them toward +As you rehab missing corners you will expose other missing corners beneath them There +are hierarchies of missing corners to reestablish When one spinal segment is curled up and +inoperative it undermines those nearby it rendering them inaccessible Correcting one +provides leverage for correcting others Using the antirigidity method regularly you will +continue to discover repositories of strength you never knew you had +You may come to recognize that many of your most dormant muscles derive from previous +injuries Using antirigidity encountered many previous strains and sprains from adolescence +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +and young adulthood that had forgotten about The process is like unearthing fossils If you +drive then you probably have dormant muscle in your right ankle knee and hip from working +the gas and the brake Likewise if you work on a computer you probably have strain in your +right shoulder that runs up your neck from bracing while holding the mouse had pronounced +lumbar knots from decades of bending over the sink to wash my face and brush my teeth +The problem was did those things from a single fixed position without contracting my glutes +Antirigidity treated all of these +Do you ever bend over and reach a point where you know that you will hurt yourself if you +continue This is a corner that is completely missing Most people have countless postural +configurations like this that cannot be loaded at all Many muscles in the hips and lower back +can barely withstand a small fraction of body weight You want to load these frail muscles very +lightly at first increasing the load over time To load the muscles with less than body weight +you must lessen the effects of gravity by placing your body into unfamiliar yet supported +positions like those illustrated above The techniques used in Pilates and the poses used in yoga +can also be used to this end +Using Antirigidity with Distressed Breathing Is Counterproductive +Performing antirigidity will make you want to breathe shallowly One of the main reasons that +dormant muscle stays dormant is because every time you try to use it it takes your breath +away Pairing distressed breathing with antirigidity defeats the purpose In fact shallow +breathing is enough to turn antirigidity work into injurious tension building When first +started developing the antirigidity technique many friends saw me stretching restlessly and +told me You know you look to me like you are just making the tension worse They felt this +way because doing the same exercises would irritate their muscles Contracting dormant +muscle is something that our bodies naturally tend to avoid because under distressed +breathing the muscle will only become further agitated Diaphragmatic breathing makes all +the difference +Be mindful that you are breathing diaphragmatically at no more than six breaths per +minute or else antirigidity will lead to more tension It is imperative that you breathe long full +smooth breaths preferably through the nose Employ a breath metronome when possible +Consider performing antirigidity after a diaphragmatic breathing session You will find that five +minutes of breathing along with a breath metronome will make you more limber and make it +easier to identify achy muscles After minutes of paced breathing antirigidity will feel like +picking lowhanging fruit +Antirigidity is also accentuated after exercise massage or the application of heat It is far +easier to sense and contract dormant muscle after a workout or rubdown The same goes for a +hot shower or bath This is the rationale behind the practice of hot yoga To experience this +take a shower that is as hot as possible without being uncomfortable You might want to rub +moistened Epsom salt into your neck and shoulders beforehand Let the heated water hit the +back of your neck and stream down your spine You will notice that your neck cracks more +easily is more flexible and you can more fully contract the muscles for upwards of minutes +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Rushing Antirigidity is Counterproductive +As you get better at performing antirigidity you will become more ambitious and attempt to +rejuvenate the stiffest areas in your neck and lower back By moving slowly and carefully +you can work through these boundaries However if you try to force through them the tissues +will become more defensive not less Dormant tissues require a gentle approach Pretend that +you are trying to slowly lengthen a piece of a plastic bag without tearing it At a certain point +you should feel a slight resistance to your movement Some physical therapists refer to this as +a stretch point As you hold the position wait patiently When the aching sensation fades +your stretch point is releasing +Bouncing through a stretch can be counterproductive unless it is a very subtle bounce +This is because hard bounces pull quickly on muscle fibers alerting specialized sensors within +the muscle that it has been suddenly overstretched Nerve signals from these receptors will +cause the muscle to shorten further which is exactly what you dont want Make your +contractions gradual and slow using only percent of your maximum effort Think of +melting into each stretch If you contract too rapidly or forcefully you will engage fasttwitch +muscle fibers Contracting slowly will enlist the slow twitch endurance fibers that establish +enduring postural tone +sought out the most painful and weak cruxes in my body and totally reclaimed them +However knew there was a chance that could herniate a disc or sprain a vital ligament +This is why you must perform antirigidity very carefully especially when starting out +Working through your most frail areas can lead to great injury However once restored +they will become highly resistant to injury Choose consistency over intensity Avoid +movements that prove to aggravate and pursue those that heal Chip away at your frailty a +little each day to make every bit of your bodys muscle accessible +It is necessary to mention that antirigidity is not contortionism You are not attempting to +force your body into strange and awkward positions Also do not mistake the ache of dormant +muscle with the pain of pushing a joint outside its intended range With time you will learn to +recognize the exact difference between engaging frailty and intruding into the bodys natural +joint barriers +You should never hurt or even be sore the next day after using antirigidity If you are +you either went too hard or have a serious underlying injury If you experience a tight pinching +or burning sensation there could be nerve damage In that case discontinue immediately +If you have a related disease or disorder discuss antirigidity with a physician before using it +Carefully monitor your pain pattern If existing pain becomes worse from these activities +discontinue immediately and seek advice from a qualified physician +Normal cracking is fine but grating popping and crackling sounds indicate a +musculoskeletal injury Do not attempt antirigidity if you experience sensations of pins and +needles or numbness Do not attempt if you have been in a recent accident or experience +severe headaches If the pain spreads or radiates to other locations stop the exercises +immediately and consult your doctor Know your limits and do not overdo it +Antirigiditys Relation to Chiropractic +have visited five different chiropractors in my life for a total of around appointments These +visits in my late twenties helped inspire me to develop the antirigidity method recommend +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +visiting a chiropractor yourself so that you can become acquainted with what it feels like to +have the body in a configuration where highly dormant muscle is directly engaged and released +The first time went to a chiropractor he commented on how tight my neck was He was +able to crack my spine in several locations This influenced me to go home and flex into the +same spinal configurations he created when performing the adjustments For instance would +try to fully extend my neck looking toward the ceiling while rotating my head from left to right +It ached deeply and wondered if working through this aching could improve my neck It did +Only two years later the same chiropractor told me that he was unable to adjust my spine +at all When he tried to perform spinal manipulations my joints moved with the manipulation +fluidly without cracking In fact can no longer find a chiropractor who can successfully crack +my neck or lower back After feeling the muscles on the back of my neck with their fingers +some told me that my neck is healthy and does not need to be adjusted This is entirely due to +the antirigidity method +Joint cracking is a sign of degenerative activity stemming from passive tension When the +muscles surrounding the spine are held in passive tension this causes dislocation subluxation +of vertebrae These weak distorted muscle segments are incapable of keeping the vertebrae in +ideal alignment The advantage of the chiropractic adjustment is that it gets straight to the core +of dormant muscle stretching it rapidly and delivering blood It is common for a patient to +report that they can breathe again after manipulation To me this suggests that vertebral +misalignment somehow affects the diaphragms mobility The cracking also produces +endogenous morphine temporarily relieving pain and bringing patients back for future +adjustments However chiropractic treatment is only a temporary solution When a +chiropractor performs an alignment the spine briefly becomes neutral However because this +does not strengthen the muscles or improve their endurance the vertebrae fall quickly back +out of alignment sometimes within hours +Most chiropractors do not insist that their patients exercise the opened areas after +adjustments This is why there is limited evidence for the clinical efficacy of chiropractic over +physical therapy However have found that antirigidity exercises complement both +chiropractic and physical therapy It may take months or years of antirigidity training to fully +contract a previously dormant muscle but once you can it will be fully reintegrated and will no +longer require chiropractic or rehabilitative work +After six months of using antirigidity could crack dozens of joints throughout my body +at will Because knew my posture and physique had improved tremendously began to +tentatively conclude that increasing the ability to crack joints might be the overall goal +However after another six months of this routine found that much of the cracking subsided +As my joints became healthier they cracked less and less This made me realize that cracking +is a means to an end In other words as you employ antirigidity you can expect to go +through three phases an inability to crack plentiful cracking and then an abatement +of cracking +could not crack my joints at first because did not have the strength in the surrounding +muscles to leverage my way into the unhealthy muscle After six months my joints were +cracking profusely because finally had some strength in the muscles that would support my +efforts to flex into the weakest areas After another six months of employing the technique the +cracking subsided because even my weakest muscles and joints were no longer degenerative +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +The point is that you want to stretch and flex into sore joints throughout your body using the +cracking and aching sensations as diagnostic tools +Antirigidity ls Not the Same as Stretching +Stretching has gotten a bad rap in recent decades because static stretching has been shown to +be less effective for athletes than once thought This is because static stretching on its own is +too passive and does not involve muscular contractions It involves immobilizing a joint and +stretching the muscles and connective tissues to their greatest possible length This increases +the resting length of muscles by lessening the sensitivity of tension receptors in the muscle +Studies have shown that excessive static stretching can lead to joint laxity and hypermobility +Stretching muscles too far reduces strength and explosive force Many stretching programs +encourage hyperflexibility of muscles which can even result in mechanical instability of the +joints Antirigidity doesnt use static stretching it uses active stretching +Static stretching increases passive range of motion With antirigidity however we are +interested in increasing active range of motion Unlike passive static stretching you want to +perform stretches that accept load throughout the entire range The stretching aspect of +antirigidity will increase the joints mobility and restore proper length to the muscles involved +The contraction aspect will increase the stability of the joint and increase the strength of the +muscles Overall antirigidity should be thought of as a combination of stretching and +contracting in which you explore the boundaries of tension while applying lowgrade but +continuous tensile loads Yoga done with active loading can accomplish antirigidity as well +Employing Antirigidity During Yoga +Antirigidity methods are implicit in yoga but there are ways to make them more explicit +When take a yoga class assume the poses as directed and then perform antirigidity while +inside the pose For instance most yoga instructors tell you to keep your neck straight and still +while in downward dog because they dont want distressed breathers to hurt their necks +But you and can safely assume downward dog and use the unique loading properties of the +pose to find and strengthen frail joints From downward dog it is possible to leverage your way +into countless stiff neck positions that are treatable through antirigidity Yoga teachers refer to +achy dormant muscle as sticky while practitioners often describe stretches that rouse +dormant muscle as delicious Use yoga to help you probe for and discover delectable +contractions +In many types of hatha yoga there is a risk of overstretching certain muscle groups during +a pose Many yoga instructors and practitioners abuse their bodies by pushing too hard in an +attempt to achieve an ideal form The best way to improve form is not to force the body into +a static stretch but rather to use the pose to gradually rehab the dormant muscle that is +keeping you from executing the pose ideally Ease yourself into the postures and vary your +weight while in them so they are not static and isolated To do this you want to lean in +different directions play with the articulations shift your weight and alter the poses geometry +to achieve various wellrounded contractions Remembering to use the five tenets of optimal +posture from the last chapter during yoga will enhance postural strengthening +recommend that anyone interested in yoga start with basic lyengar or restorative yoga +to develop proper form and an appropriate emotional relationship with their body After a few +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +of these lessons encourage trying as many types of yoga as possible until you find one that +you truly enjoy You can take classes in a studio or at home using a free internet video Yoga has +shown numerous clinical benefits such as improving emotional regulation and reducing +physiological arousal It has even been shown to assist significantly in the treatment of post +traumatic stress disorder believe every person should perform yoga with antirigidity on a +weekly if not daily basis +The following sketches should help you if you want to practice at home strongly +recommend moving through the classic yoga poses here as often as possible Choose at least +each night and spend one to two minutes in each while engaging in paced breathing +Another great option is to put something educational on television then sit a phone or a tablet +down next to the TV using it on silent to stream an online yoga class do this for twenty +minutes every night and learn something while stretch An added benefit of performing +antirigidity and yoga before bed is that it will help you sleep like a baby due to the copious +endorphins released +Lp ag ye +GPG +SAR ez j +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +WWCAR +P fe +JQ FI IS +Sr IS +Bal phe +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +PGR cok +PSS AY +PINON +a SIE YY +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +aN +fp Pp Ap +TTT e +Illustration yoga poses and positions +Health Benefits of Yoga +e Makes muscles ligaments and tendons more elastic and resilient +e Stimulates stem cells creating collagen +e Improves fitness flexibility and strength +e Reduces pain and improves mobility better than other forms of low impact exercise +e Can reduce blood pressure and risk factors for cardiovascular disease +e Seems to improve symptoms related to depression PTSD and anxiety +Conclusion +When was went to a nearby court to play basketball The moves and skills that +developed in my late teens had disintegrated felt incredibly clumsy and feeble on the court +wanted to know why Because had not played basketball in years assumed that had lost +the memories and neural connections responsible for my skills was researching the +neuroscience of Alzheimers at the time and that influenced me to assume that because +hadnt used those brain pathways may have lost them +However at age went out to play basketball again only to discover that the skills and +coordination of my teenage years were back My poor performance years prior had nothing +to do with losing brain circuits and everything to do with frailty Now instead of feeling like a +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +dry twig running down the court feel like a velociraptor My body supports me fully in any +position put it in It is the same with dancing People dont stop dancing in old age because +they forget how They stop because their joints are immobile and their unnecessarily feeble +bodies hurt Antirigidity is like an analgesic but a permanent one As many yogis insist You +are only as old as your spine Another way to put this is You are only as old as your spine is +frail and painful +Antirigidity Exercise Search Your Body for Rigidity +Use the illustrations of poses above along with the Antirigidity Protocol to guide you ina +fiveminute search for frailty in your body Once you find the muscular patterns that cause +joint cracking and create a feeling of achiness spend time within them using firm sustained +contractions Practice paced breathing during this session +In my s if got less than four hours of sleep my back would hurt all day However a +couple of years of antirigidity has made it so that even if miss an entire night of sleep feel +no joint discomfort because my spine still supports me can stand up straight for long periods +while everyone else succumbs to slouching can sit crosslegged on the floor for hours while +others languish on the couch The postural reinforcements that antirigidity created sometimes +make me feel like am in some kind of supportive harness or mechanical exosuit Antirigidity +makes it effortless to hold your body assertively proudly and energetically +The strength gains from antirigidity come with muscle mass gains They dont make you +look like a weightlifter but because they involve postural musculature they help you look more +like an athlete As the next chapter will detail antirigidity works complementarily with cardio +and weight training You will find that antirigidity will not only counteract the tension created +by your exercise routine but also that you can employ antirigidity during exercise as well +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e The antirigidity technique is performed by searching for dormant muscles whose joints +crack or ache then rehabbing them To reach these dormant muscles the body must be +placed into unfamiliar positions +e Rehab is achieved by finding a postural configuration that cracks and then holding it for +five to seconds at a time It feels like a stretch but is a contraction that you want to +hold until the muscles involved reach fatigue +e It is well known in exercise science that firmly contracting a muscle before relaxing it +brings it to a deeper level of relaxation +e Usually contracting dormant tender muscles makes us breathe shallowly as if we were +being submerged in cold water The key to antirigidity is to pair the contraction of +dormant muscle with diaphragmatic breathing +e Antirigidity reduces the internal impedance within the contractile tissue resetting the +muscle to its biomechanically optimal orientation If you want peak performance you +need antirigidity +e Antirigidity releases foundational postural muscles from strain Some of these +muscles may have been lying dormant for decades This results in the reintegration of +dormant muscle with active muscle restoring strength endurance flexibility stability +and ideal posture +e Antirigidity will get your muscles firing again tone and balance your body reduce +fatigue and soreness and counteract the poor loading profiles of the modern lifestyle +e Fora muscle to be healthy it needs times during the day when it is pulled to full resting +length and other times when it is contracted to its smallest dimension Use antirigidity +daily to achieve this +e Experiment and play with the muscles you have neglected for so long and with time +you will experience an incredible lightness of being +e Muscles are like springs that are bent out of shape A muscle that has low tone and is +not firing properly is like a spring whose coil has become stretched out Such muscles +require antilaxity +e A muscle stuck in partial contraction is like a spring that is not at its resting length +relaxed or its shortest length contracted but stuck somewhere in the middle Such +muscles require antirigidity +Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue +Chapter Endnote +Gallegos A M Crean H F Pigeon W R Heffner K L Meditation and yoga for +posttraumatic stress disorder A metaanalytic review of randomized controlled trials Clinical +Psychology Review van der Kalk B A Stone L West J Rhodes A Emerson D +Suvak M Spinazzola J Yoga as an adjunctive treatment for posttraumatic stress +disorder A randomized controlled trial Journal of Clinical Psychiatry e +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +Excessive Exercise Without Antirigidity is Detrimental +Unsustainable workout habits played a large role in my stress Overly ambitious running and +heavy lifting were tightening my straitjacket was reaping ephemeral shortterm benefits such +as muscle gain and fat loss But the longterm costs of accumulating soft tissue injury were +significant For instance even though had developed some strength in my bench press if +altered the position of my shoulders slightly or turned my elbows or wrists a little the same +benchpressing motion was painful and incredibly frail When you put a great deal of tension +into an invariant configuration the other potential arrangements become extraordinarily +limited It is the same with running Aside from my habitual running pattern my body was +highly immobile +If you signed a contract to play a superhero in an upcoming blockbuster movie you would +engage in arduous weightlifting and strenuous cardiovascular exercise A few months of this +would tighten existing knots in your muscles but make you look incredibly fit A few years of +activity like this would produce copious dormant muscle shackling the spine In kinesiology +this is referred to as muscular pattern overload It would make you stronger in the shortterm +but much weaker in the longterm This is how exercised in my twenties sprinting and grueling +weights with no stretching massage or recognition of bracing Combined with chronic +panicked breathing zero postural awareness and lots of sitting it wrecked my foundation +The sad truth is that this should sound familiar to many people +The Cost of Lifting Heavy Weights +Lifting heavy weights was my defense mechanism for dealing with the male status hierarchy +thought that more muscle would free me from hierarchical worries but it became my prison +both figuratively and literally It wrecked my posture by pulling my shoulders forward and my +chin away from my chest am not alone in this Postural neglect excessive bracing and +inattention to hyperfatigued muscle accelerate agerelated postural decline in the majority of +people who lift weights Frankly weightlifters experience significant reductions in all planes of +spinal movement +As a teenager read books on lifting weights that proclaimed that to repetitions done +to complete muscle failure is the scientifically established way to achieve muscle growth This is +true on the order of months but without regular antirigidity to repetitions with the +heaviest weight you can bear is a recipe for dormant muscle It took me years to realize that +overzealous lifting came with hidden costs They creep up on you Lifting heavy weights at low +reps causes you to fall into faulty muscle recruitment patterns leading to strain and cramping +all over the body In my late twenties would wake up every morning in agonizing tension +After rising it would take at least minutes for the circulation in my chest and neck to +reestablish and abate the crushing pain +Most people wouldnt even have described me as muscular and yet my chest shoulders +neck and back were completely locked up from weightlifting had trigger points scar tissue +and chronic inflammation all along my shoulder girdle The tension of unchecked weightlifting +crept up my spine through my cervical vertebrae and into the attachments between my neck +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +and skull At this point it impinges on ones soul Like most people that lift weights avoided +frail muscles altogether In doing so we magnify the frailty +Underused Muscles Need Antilaxity and Overused Muscles Need Antirigidity +When loading to certain muscles is completely missing and these muscles sit adjacent to +muscles that are unnaturally overloaded you have injury and pain waiting to happen +Underused muscles are usually long and weak Overused muscles are short and tight +Underused muscles need to be exercised and toned Overused muscles need to be stretched +massaged and most importantly contracted through the dormant sections of their range +of motion +Bend down and feel your calf You likely have a lot of soft muscle surrounding a lump of +painful hard muscle The soft muscle is underused while the hard muscle is overused You +want the softest lumps to become harder and the hardest lumps to become softer To do so +increase the tone in the soft portions through exercise and antilaxity and decrease the tone of +the hard lumps using massage and antirigidity It is the same with your spine face voice and +as we will see in Chapter the muscles surrounding your genitals This will develop the calfs +ability to contract as one integrated unit through its full range +It helps to pull the toes up toward the knee dorsiflexion which will contract the muscles +in the front of the calf Hold this contraction and breathe deeply Next point your toes away +from your body plantar flexion using the muscles in the back of the calf Every day spend one +minute flexing the toes back toward the shin and then pointing the toes in the opposite +direction While in both positions offset the feet to the left and then to the right Roll your +ankles clockwise and counterclockwise Search for the areas that feel stiff and achy If you can +find this aching know that contracting into it calmly is accomplishing bona fide antirigidity +Ilustration A The typical range of motion in the ankle is thirty degrees However limiting yourself to this +range contributes to the development of dormant ankle musculature B Exercising the ankle in an extended range +will expand the mobility and contribute to healthy ankle joint mechanics +At first start these ankle exercises without any weight even body weight Just hold the +contractions off the ground Then experiment with partial body weight Then use full +bodyweight calf raises where you try to reach full height during the rise and complete +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +dorsiflexion during the lowering phase Hold these and breathe Doing this with the ankles and +knees in a variety of positions will allow you to target and tone the underused aspects of your +calves Try new positions like turning the feet out lateral rotation or in medial rotation +and placing weight on the inside of the foot pronation or the outside of the foot supination +Ilustration A Holding the lowered phase of a bodyweight squat to strengthen complete ankle dorsiflexion +ankle bent B Holding the full height of a calf raise to strengthen complete plantar flexion ankle straightened +Have you heard of cankles It is a pejorative term referring to the combination of calf +and ankle describing an ankle that appears continuous with the calf They are the unattractive +consequence of chronically overused ankle muscles In other words a cankle is just an ankle +whose muscles are stuck in partial contraction Cankles are ugly because bulky hypertrophic +muscle in isolated areas leads to swelling edema and inflammation The cankles phenomenon +isnt limited to the ankles Persistent contractions make the whole body look worse for the +same reasons Most people who dont like their physiques are simply unhappy with the +appearance of their bodys dormant muscles You want to tone and firm your soft muscles +without any underlying musculature being hard and hypertonic Its a balancing act +Performing calf raises in the gym with heavy weights turned sections of my calves into very +hard muscle segments This extra muscle was useful for calf raises but otherwise made walking +painful In my late twenties my ankles calves and knees would hurt after just minutes of +walking Percussive massage and antirigidity have made it so that can walk for more than +three hours without any discomfort They also turned my cankles into lean trim ankles and put +a new spring in my step There are very tangible benefits to replacing our highintensity +lowvariety repetitious exercises with exercises that use the body more diversely +Dormant Muscles Expose You to Injury +Tight and shortened muscles dominate movement at the joint disrupting healthy joint +mechanics Some researchers call this joint compression not to be confused with the +massage technique It causes major physical limitations for both athletes and the general +population force leaks torque loss and gaps in strength Shortened and dormant muscle is +responsible for why advanced weightlifters fail at entrylevel plyometric workout exercises like +box jumping The muscles of many bodybuilders have limited range and tend to fatigue +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +quickly This is why you dont see them competing in highlevel athletics events which demand +agility flexibility or endurance Activities that require both speed and strength are often +painful for weightlifters The abrupt forces can even cause cramped hypertonic muscles to tear +or rip +Dormant muscle and their attachments are highly susceptible to tearing Sprains tearing +of a ligament and strains tearing of a muscle or tendon are the most common types of soft +tissue sports injuries They are often caused by activities that require muscles to stretch and +contract suddenly at the same time A lack of conditioning flexibility and warmup can +contribute but usually a strain is a previously existing site of dormancy just waiting to +be injured +When you develop a kink in your neck lower back or anywhere else it is seldom a new +development It is practically always preexisting dormant muscle that has recently been +agitated Usually kinks are previously locked up muscles that have started to unlock +Unfortunately immobilizing them until they stop hurting which most people do will cause +them to relock Worse yet trying to move them while breathing shallowly will cause them to +close up tighter But diaphragmatic antirigidity will allow you to open and repair these kinks +The next time you pull or strain a muscle be grateful that a site of frailty has been revealed and +is now open to rehab +sprained my shoulder wrestling a friend This was ironic because lifted heavy weights in +hopes of appearing physically powerful But when it came down to grappling with someone +my uneven tone led to disparities between muscles that could be loaded and those that +couldnt There were muscles along my scapula that couldnt bear even a moderate load and +trying to squeeze out of a stranglehold headlock sprained them badly learned that it is far +preferable to have regular strength throughout the body and little frailty than to have excessive +strength in certain areas and extreme frailty in others +Treating an Injury +Never stretch or use antirigidity for the first hours after an injury You want to give the +muscle tears a chance to heal first This means that any time you strain or even tweak +something just go home and rest Dont risk aggravating it by continuing to exercise or +compete Soft massage after icing can be beneficial directly following a minor injury Three days +later it is important to begin proactively compressing and stretching the muscles to stop scar +tissue formation In fact many medical professionals take untreated scar tissue to be the +primary cause of reinjury believe that after a week it is safe to start rehabilitating light to +moderate strains using antirigidity +Physical therapists often recommend that patients breathe into their injuries If you +sprain your wrist they might advise that you concentrate on deep breathing and the sensations +coming from the wrist simultaneously In yoga and Pilates instructors recommend breathing +deeply when stretching sore injured or tight muscles Breathing into tension teaches the +brain that it can interact with these muscles without recruiting the fight or flight response +This is why recommend taking out your breathing metronome whenever you rehab an injury +even recommend paced breathing as soon as you sustain an injury to reduce the +unnecessary bracing that comes with something like a sprain Immediately after an injury +people naturally breathe very shallowly and this causes the surrounding muscles to tense up +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +potentially exacerbating the extent of the tissue damage Breathing with the diaphragm and +concentrating on progressive relaxation at the injury site can improve the prognosis and +decrease recovery time Just be aware that paced breathing will diminish the bodys protective +casting and immobilizing of the injured area Accordingly you must be very careful not to +subject this area to any undue loads for the first few days +sprained my shoulder in a fall from a skateboard Of course it was the lockedup bench +press stabilizing muscles that were injured Because of the shoulder injury had to stop lifting +weights completely My upper body muscle mass atrophied very quickly lost almost all my +bulk within two months However and here is the kicker the pain knots and scar tissue +remained as if had never stopped working out This proved to me that lifting heavy weights +has benefits that are easily lost while the costs persist Without incessant weightlifting you +lose the mass but still retain all the cellular scarring felt compelled to get this tension from +weightlifting out of my body so developed an alternate way to lift weights +Lift Weights with Optimal Posture +Most people lift heavy weights from a compact position The more you do this the more +ungainly your posture becomes and the more difficult it is to lift from an expansive posture +By exercising with bad postural alignment you will degrade the structures you are trying to +improve When your vertebrae are out of alignment and you strain under heavy weights you +further reinforce the misalignments Like trying to erect a massive building on a poor +foundation it will be lopsided and unstable Thus when your form breaks down make that +your last rep With open expansive properly aligned posture any type of exercise you practice +will be more effective +When most people lift weights that are too heavy they brace and lock up their entire +skeleton holding their spine shoulder girdle and hips in the same invariant position each time +Merely reducing the weight allows you to lift without bracing With less weight you can also +alter and vary your posture with each rep and change the distribution of weight loading +stimulating growth in areas that are usually stiff +Most exercisers perform narrow range repetitions where the muscle lengthens and +contracts only a small amount each repetition This is a surefire way to force muscles into +partial contraction For example my friend does limited range of motion squats with extremely +heavy weight This means that instead of going from standing to touching his butt to his ankles +he instead only moves a few inches during each squat Doing this with stacks of weight plates +has given him huge knots above his knees These knots form a buffer for his end range squat +helping him stop the squat halfway down and reverse the motion But the same knots that help +him come back up in that single exercise limit the general action of his quadriceps in almost all +other activities +have since helped him get rid of these knots by using full range motion massage and +antirigidity You can see that this is much like the above example involving my calves Do you +do anything similar to this If you dont want the knots lower the weight and increase the +range of motion You may have guessed by now that cant avoid making a related comparison +with animals +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Strength Differences Between Humans and Other Apes +Although chimpanzees are generally lighter than humans they range between and +pounds they are much stronger on average The shaved arms of a female chimp look like a +professional football players arms In captivity chimps are aware of their strength advantage +and are very dangerous because of it They often physically bulldoze humans In the wild they +dont know that they are stronger and can be studied safely at closer quarters Indeed many +scientists think chimps can overpower even the strongest humans long wondered how at only +pounds they could be stronger than bodybuilders believe their disproportionate +strength comes from the way they build their muscles incrementally from all angles +Apes amass upper body strength gradually from a young age tree climbing and knuckle +walking which they do with their arms and legs Using each limb vigorously is an intrinsic part +of getting around They incorporate their entire physique into each smooth integrated +movement rather than wrenching isolated muscles with dumbbells or barbells Since apes build +their muscles naturally rather than lifting heavy weights trigger points and dormant muscles +rarely encumber their movement If we want to become truly strong we have to build strength +incrementally like a chimpanzee Now you and cannot start our childhood over in the trees +But we can start by infusing lightweight exercises with antirigidity +Practice Antirigidity During Exercise +Just as you can combine antirigidity techniques and yoga you can also combine antirigidity +with other workouts including weight training By and large people avoid their trigger points +and areas of frailty when exercising Resist this temptation You want to work out your short +painful muscles tailoring exercises to target these sites specifically To do this exercise slowly +using only light resistance to search for and contract into dormant muscle Alter your joint +configurations until you find a combination that aches or cracks then hold this pattern and +continue to perform repetitions If you dont let the discomfort disturb your breathing pattern +the muscle will surrender and cooperate +want to encourage you to go to your local gym sit on practically every machine on the +floor use a very low weight setting and do between and repetitions trying to work +through the subtle aching and cracking Think of each station in the weight room as a tool you +can use to employ antirigidity from a different angle +Weightlifting Exercise Antilaxity and Antirigidity with Weights +Perform standard weightlifting routines with machines or free weights but do so using very +light weight Employ antilaxity to accustom your body to healthy forces and employ anti +rigidity to bring blood to and mend dormant muscle Maintain proper posture and use +multidirectional movements with complete range of motion Add novel curvature to the +spine every few repetitions Vary between kyphosis and lordosis in your neck and upper +spine for upper body exercises Then vary between these in the lower back for lower body +exercises Use spinal flexion then spinal extension for maximal effect Bend to each side +twist to each side Search actively for aching positions to engage +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +IMlustration Suggestions for different joint configurations for antirigidity during light weight bench press +Do a few reps with your neck flexed to each side then with your chin to your chest +with your neck retracted and then with your neck extended backwards It should feel like yoga +with gym equipment Any exercise expert would try to persuade you from turning your neck to +the extreme left when performing a lateral pull down or from adducting your hip and tilting +your pelvis when performing a leg press They would be right if you were lifting between +and of your onerepetition maximum But if you are lifting less than of your max +you should have plenty of room to play with the joint configurations safely +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Examples of different joint configurations for spinal antirigidity during light weight +lateral pulldowns +One important caveat am asking you to vary your spines position as you work out +but only at low intensity and low resistance At high intensity you want to keep your spine +straight This is common knowledge in exercise science Many athletes refer to any bend in any +portion of the spine as a fault or error Indeed you commit a fault any time your spine changes +shape during any weightbearing movement When you lift something heavy off the ground +perform a squat or a pushup your spine should stay neutral the entire time In other words +we should regularly be flexing and extending as many portions of the back as possible +but never when combined with a heavy load or rapid movements +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +Ilustration Examples of different joint configurations for antirigidity during light weight tricep push downs +find using antilaxity and antifrailty with weights to be tremendously relaxing Much like yoga +the blood flow and endorphins make my muscles feel heavy and tranquil This is a from my +previous approach to working out +Exercise More Often Not Harder +When mixing antirigidity with weightlifting the objective is to gradually increase the load over +the course of months as your posture improves and your frailty diminishes Slowly building up +to heavier weights and intensities will help you build a broad stable base to place even more +muscle on top of This is in line with the oftenforgotten personal trainers maxim straighten +the body before strengthening it +The common wisdom in personal training which empirical studies have reinforced is that +muscle typically atrophies at half the rate it took to develop This means that your gains from six +months of squats will completely disappear a year after you stop squatting To me the takeaway +message is clear If you gain a lot of muscle from intense training over three months you cannot +expect to keep it for long So dont plan to work out this way But if you gain muscle steadily over +three years it will resist atrophy for six years Instead of stressing the body plateauing early +and struggling to maintain envision your workout goal as a slow and steady climb +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +This is consistent with a popular weight training routine known as pyramid training +where you start with very light weights and progress steadily toward heavier weights You will +find that starting lower than bodyweight then using bodyweight and then progressing through +very light weights will condition your postural muscles with exercise volume as opposed to +intensity For many exercises even bodyweight is too much In my opinion less than of the +population is ready for pushups Ninetyfive percent of people will accrue unnecessary damage +from pushups myself included Instead they need to spend a few months doing pushups on +their knees or simply lowering themselves to the ground from pushup position working the +negative +CPOE +Illustration Pushup progression A Pushups on the shins and knees B Pushups on the knees +C Lowered pushups and finally traditional pushups +Global bodily adaptations to low weights will scaffold a highly balanced system that you +can later apply toward heavier weights to achieve surprising results This takes advantage of the +aforementioned SAID principle specific adaptation to imposed demands Again this is how +apes farmers mechanics and lumberjacks develop strength But this doesnt just apply to +lifting weights The same goes for jogging swimming aerobics Program Peace exercises and +anything else Dont base your exercise duration or intensity on arbitrary factors Instead work +out from within your frailty until none of your postural muscles are hypertonic and they all +cooperate seamlessly Then resume traditional fullbody workouts +Starting with lowintensity and focusing on antirigidity has another benefit Recall from +Chapter that dormant muscles cannot recover adequately after a workout They are resistant +to growth and strengthening because muscles afflicted with trigger points never rest and can +never fully heal Thus dormant muscles are equivalent to untapped reservoirs that are full of +growth potential Antirigidity allows you to tap into them Once you convert dormant muscle +to supple and tensionfree muscle they will be very responsive to exercise From there you will +be ripe for a total body transformation +In my twenties would visit a nutritional supplement store The clerks would always tell +me look man if you want to gain muscle you have to take weight gainer For a long time +believed they were right and that needed protein supplementation and hundreds of +additional calories every day to put on muscle mass This isnt true The real constraint that +keeps you from putting on additional muscle is the muscle tension It is dormant muscle that is +responsible for the performance plateaus and diminishing returns Once you use antilaxity and +antirigidity to rebuild this muscle back into your posture you will find that it will not fluctuate +with exercise or diet Because it moves when you do and its tone is reinforced by simply +standing around it resists atrophy and does not require overeating +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +Practice Antirigidity Following Exercise +After almost all forms of conventional exercise dormant muscle becomes further strained +After a jog you go home and your knees hurt a little or your lower back feels stiff and this +accrues with interest over time It doesnt have to be this way Engaging these areas with anti +rigidity exercises directly after a workout is the best way for you to release them It provides +fresh blood to the collateral and stabilizing muscles stiffened by the activity For every minute +of training you should perform a minute of antirigidity +After you do three sets of bench press do minutes of antirigidity for the neck shoulders +and upper back A yoga pose like downward dog is excellent Whatever you choose shift your +shoulders as you alternate between twisting flexing and extending the neck Youll discover +that the increased circulation from a weight lifting or a cardio workout will allow you to +contract more deeply into dormant muscle +You can also use the antirigidity and yoga positions pictured in the previous chapter as +counter poses Counter poses are used in yoga to activate complementary and antagonistic +muscles after a pose For instance a twist to the left follows a twist to the right and forward +bends usually follow backbends According to yoga practitioners this neutralizes the spine +lengthening it and calming the nervous system With practice you can identify the best +counterposes to neutralize the tension created by your exercise routine +How to Breathe When Lifting Light Weights +Why are some people strong while others are weak Why are some people muscular while +others are not Most scientists would say that testosterone exposure and genetics determine +these characteristics but believe these explanations are secondary to a more primary process +This process involves the ability to contract muscles without recruiting the distressed breathing +response Naturally athletic and muscular people had childhoods conducive to combining +exercise with unimpeded breathing In other words adults with big biceps were kids that +learned to sustain hardy bicep contractions without impeding their breathing But you dont +have to be a kid to internalize this The truth is we worked on this in Exercises when +we combined paced breathing with antilaxity +In the same vein you want to breathe very deeply while pumping iron Most physical +therapists and personal trainers recommend breathing out when major muscles are shortening +the lifting action in a curl and breathing in during the lengthening the lowering action of the +curl For a bench press this would involve breathing out while lifting the bar away from your +chest and breathing in while dropping the weight to your chest This is not bad advice as it +keeps you from holding your breath or breathing at even shorter intervals However +when using low weight it is beneficial to breathe at even longer intervals +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Breathing Activity Diaphragmatic Breathing at the Gym +The next time you lift light weights start off breathing out for an entire repetition flexion +and extension and then in for the next repetition Perform a few sets in this way Next +inhale for two reps and then exhale for two reps This is an advanced technique but will +become much easier as you complete the breathing retraining outlined in Chapters and +As long as you are breathing deep complete breaths you should get plenty of air Breathing +at longer intervals convinces your nervous system that weightlifting is not traumatic allowing +your body to adapt to the challenge rather than resisting it Deep breathing convinces the +body that holding those pound dumbbells in the air is safe easy and the new normal +Lifting heavy weights is stressful on the body and mind and anything stressful will provoke +shallow breathing The physical exertion involved in lifting heavy weights makes it very difficult +to concentrate on breathing diaphragmatically Lifting definitely contributed to my breathing +dysfunction A high proportion of weightlifters breathe shallowly and like racehorses are often +highstrung They are doing the opposite of the Program Peace method pairing intense +muscular contractions with distressed breathing and further traumatizing them Also keep in +mind that the anxiety involved in this puts you into a state of catabolism where proteins are +broken down rather than built up ultimately making it harder to put on and keep on muscle +As you found with your eating routine in Chapter your exercise routines may be tightly +intertwined with distressed breathing You may even find it difficult to exert yourself while +breathing diaphragmatically However it will be much easier at the lowest levels of exertion +so start there You can use a breath metronome when exercising or you may just want to tape +your mouth +As you work on your breathing be aware of your other nonverbals The stereotypical +weightlifters body language is highly detrimental to their health Gasping hyperventilating +jerking straining breathholding trembling and bracing the entire body are the exact things +you want to avoid Most people also tighten their vocal tract raise their eyebrows make a +pained face sneer and squint during heavy exercise For all the reasons described in previous +chapters try to avoid doing these things The only muscles that should be working are the ones +responsible for the load Rather than being a spaz at the gym try being poised and laidback +Weight Lifting Exercise Breath Metronome at the Gym +Use headphones and a breathing metronome to perform paced breathing at your gym while +lifting light weights and employing antirigidity Set the breathing duration to a low level +eg second inhalations and second exhalations Dont use a breath metronome +while performing heavy resistance or aerobic exercise though In these cases let your +instincts guide your breath rate and just try to breathe deeply and nasally see breathing +Exercise from Chapter +Using the breath metronome at the gym has another empowering benefit By the second +week of paced breathing you will be at peace with rather than apprehensive of the muscular +and athletic people lifting weights next to you You will realize that you were previously stifling +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +your breath to appease the other gym members in psychoneurotic ways In my twenties felt +like every person in the gym thought they were cooler than me Paced breathing at the athletic +facility changed this completely By using a breath metronome to calm your thoughts you will +completely escape gymtimidation While youre at it try incorporating other subroutines +discussed in this book such as resting face looking above the eyeline and the tenets of optimal +posture Paced breathing will help you become the most composed gymgoer at your facility +within a matter of weeks +People also often hold their breath during short but intense athletic performances like a +golf swing free throw or cartwheel Instead take a deep slow breath before the feat and +breathe out calmly during the feat As you perform that high jump penalty kick sommersault +or basketball dunk you want to be breathing and to nurture the execution it helps to be +breathing out Breathing shallowly or holding the breath tells the body hopefully this is the +last time we will ever have to do this Breathing deeply tells the body this is something that +we are going to be doing regularly now so you better get good at it +Anything practiced repeatedly is debraced overtime especially if you do it while breathing +diaphragmatically A gymnast will have a gorgeous standing backflip if they have done it +hundreds of times while breathing calmly The best backflips come from people that dont have +to activate their sympathetic system to pull it off My cartwheel is still tense but the more +practice it while exhaling smoothly through the nose the more learn which aspects of the +motion are overbraced In movement patterns from layups to backhands to football lobs to +jumping jacks to burpees dont aim for breathless intensity Aim for braceless efficiency +A person new to jumping rope will grab the handles too tightly brace their spine +inordinately look awkward and develop an injury if they jump too long A person who has +spent over cumulative hours jumping rope looks and feels like they are skipping on air Give +your exercise activities plenty of time to stabilize under diaphragmatic conditions and they will +become graceful childs play +Focus on Dissipating the Tension +During an exercise session tension steadily accumulates in muscles Some become reset to a +harmfully high level resulting in an elevation in passive contraction This is why you want to use +diaphragmatic breathing to dissipate tension right after you exercise If you are going to +exercise until you feel the burn then focus on the burn fully subsiding after the set Lie down +if it helps +Weightlifting Activity Noticing Muscle Tension after a Set +Simply by paying attention to the mounting tension after you complete a set you can +consciously negate it thereby enhancing recovery healing and muscle gain When you +ignore it it usually remains contracted You may feel the muscles twitch or spasm notice +these small intrusions Because these twitches are uncomfortable they halt breathing +maintaining the tension in the area Instead you want to concentrate on relaxing the tension +and breathing through it until it subsides Your focus should be on being completely limp +between sets +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +used to have disturbing elbow pain from lifting heavy weights It was tennis elbow +a degenerative condition also known as epicondylitis Conditions like it have a poor prognosis +and no modern medical treatments besides rest pain relievers and surgery Many of these +types of surgeries have been shown to be no better than a placebo mock surgery used to +finish resistance exercises in an extremely agitated state Then would spend the rest of the +day and go to bed in that state wondered why my elbows hurt so much in the morning and +naively attributed it to aging Most medical doctors refer to such examples of acute tension as +disease because they become chronic in so many people This disease is easily remedied +Now whether resistance training swimming running or anything else stop completely +every few minutes take a full seconds to bestow the tightness the mental attention it +needs to subside When get home squeeze compress and percuss any muscles that hurt +thought was going to have tennis elbow for the rest of my life After less than total +minutes of elbow tension awareness and additional minutes of compression and percussion +as outlined in Chapter the elbow disease has disappeared and never resurfaced This +method has worked for me for dozens of similar issues in the last few years That is how +powerful these simple solutions are +Rest Once the First Muscle Group Reaches Fatigue +When people lift heavy weights some of their large muscle groups are prepared to deal with +the weight but other muscles are far too weak The muscles that are not up to the task are +usually those used to stabilize the weight The stabilizing muscles such as the scapular muscles +during bench press dont move or rest between repetitions Some muscles dont even rest in +between sets Between each repetition you want there to be moments where every muscle is +given a microbreak As we learned in Chapter this break permits the muscles to escape +partial contraction rest and regenerate so that they can resume proper function +Because stabilizing muscles stay still at full exertion during the exercise they learn to do +so all the time This drives the muscle into deep fatigue freezing it in place This is highly +damaging It stops the muscle from growing and it is why some weightlifters appear so +encumbered when they move Stabilizing muscles keep parts of the body steady so that the +primary muscles can do their job But in a different exercise a stabilizing muscle may need to +be used as a primary muscle If it is rigid then performing that exercise correctly is impossible +When stabilizers are dormant your motion comes across as robotic stilted and effortful +Bench pressing pounds may be great for your pectorals and triceps but may be brutal +to your rotator cuff In this case you should lower the weight until the exercise is optimal for +strengthening the rotator cuff Many exercises are just right for some muscles but way too hard +on others and you owe it to yourself to fall back to the level of the weakest link Once the first +muscle group has fatigued it is important to stop what you are doing and wait for it to return +to its baseline +Avoid Overexertion +Large increases or changes in exercise activity can cause tendonitis tendonosis and delayed +onset muscle soreness You can easily avoid this through more gradual transitions in an exercise +regimen But few people actually do this Instead most change their routine abruptly Or they +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +exercise infrequently but overexert themselves when they do Soreness and tendonitis are +conducive to the creation of dormant muscle so avoid them by increasing your training more +gradually Four days of recovery is recommended for individual muscle groups after heavy +training However that doesnt mean you should leave the muscles alone entirely +recommend you replicate the activity that made it sore to get the blood circulating and to +facilitate remodeling Just do so with less intensity and for only a fraction of the time so as not +to impede the healing process +The muscles that feel sore the day after a workout are usually the dormant ones and thus +the ones most in need of massage and antirigidity Use any hints of soreness after a workout to +help you locate your dormant muscle so you can treat it If you wake up sore recommend +taking a baseball knuckle or knuckle tool and percussing the entire body focusing on the +tender areas If you are going to work so hard that you are sore the next day you must rehab +the sore spots Working out until youre sore and then letting the muscles stagnate for days +until the soreness disappears is irresponsible This tells us that our modus operandi should be +exercise massage antirigidity repeat +Dont kill yourself when working out and dont be a weekend warrior Training to complete +exhaustion is training under duress If you are forcing yourself you cannot go into flow and +cannot enjoy the process Training should be addictive but it cant be if you push yourself into +anxiety just to get it done In the long run extreme exertion only wears you down lowers your +mood and leads to injury It is exacting to generate the mental energy to train strenuously but +you should find it easy to generate the mental energy to train moderately +Take a rest after laborious exercise When you come home from the gym dont go right to +cooking dinner and cleaning up You want to reset the tension you created so lie down in +corpse pose for five to minutes while paced breathing and practice progressive muscle +relaxation see Unbracing Exercises and Notice pockets of tension while you are lying +down and attempt to let them go +Often the exercise activity is blamed as the cause of the pain but in many cases the pain is +produced by neglecting to stretch massage and relax after exercise The same goes for those +days when you didnt exercise but engaged in prolonged sitting standing or walking When you +finally get home and collapse feeling stiff and achy youve pushed your tissues too far without +microbreaks or counterposes Proper use of the techniques in the last two chapters can make +the difference between a day that will make you stronger and a day that will make you weaker +Conclusion +The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places Ernest Hemingway +When my posture was at its worst lifting weights was so uncomfortable that reached a point +where just couldnt do it anymore badly wanted to build muscle but the pain and frailty +made it so that would just hold the weight in my hand and look at it Like a brokendown plow +horse just stood there and couldnt muster the will to take on the burden had few acute +injuries but was covered in chronic injury took two years off from intense exercise and +instead focused on antirigidity range of motion flexibility low resistance and low impact +The same weightlifting exercises that were drudgery for me now find exhilarating +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Here is a list summarizing the primary elements of the Program Peace muscle +rehabilitation method +The Elements of the Muscle Rehabilitation Method +Search for and contract into achiness +Find configurations that crack and bring them to a gentle fatigue +Combine antirigidity and antilaxity with yoga and light weightlifting +Rest limply once fatigue is reached +Be aware of bracing +Use optimal posture +Regularly refresh stagnant muscles using full range of motion +Reposition intermittently to avoid staleness +Use effective counterposes +Massage regularly with compression and percussion +Breathe properly all the while +like the saying pain is weakness leaving the body But it is a halftruth If the pain is +derived from straining it is weakness entering the body If the pain is derived from the ache of +gently transforming dormant muscle into optimal muscle it truly is weakness leaving the body +Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise +Chapter Bullet Points +e Underused muscles need antilaxity and overused muscles need antirigidity +e Dormant muscle tears easily leading to injury +e Perform antirigidity while you perform yoga or while you lift light weights so that you +can get leverage into dormant muscle +e Cardio and weightlifting increase circulation and thereby make subsequent antirigidity +more productive +e Employing antirigidity with exercise releases muscles from deep strain reduces fatigue +and restores strength and endurance +When exercising dont put all your intensity into an invariant form Alter your form +using as many configurations as possible This creates multidimensional strength +e Progress from body weight and very low weight toward heavier weights +e Rest once the first muscle group reaches fatigue +e Focus on debracing and dissipating tension after a set or workout +e It is highly beneficial to perform antirigidity and massage on any muscles that are sore +the day after a workout +e Always exercise using the tenets of optimal posture +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Starrett K Cordoza G Becoming a supple leopard The ultimate guide to +resolving pain preventing injury and optimizing athletic performance Victory Belt Publishing +Starret Cordoza Becoming a supple leopard +Simons D G Travell J G Simons L S Travel Simons myofacial pain +and dysfunction Upper half of body Williams and Wilkins +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck +and Shoulders +We are all hunchbacks to different degrees Our upper spines are contorted from the strain +involved in carrying the head in front of the body This protruding head posture bends the +lower neck forward and the upper neck backward creating an S shape Over time this results +in anterior head syndrome marked by a bulge in the lower neck that is sometimes called a +dowagers hump or a buffalo hump This is also commonly called nerd neck Before knew +anything about this found my hump very concerning +During my s became preoccupied with the deformed structure of my neck could tell +that my neck was hunched down in pictures and when reached back and felt my cervical +spine could feel the distorted curvature The muscles in my neck were hard to the touch due +to advanced stage trigger points throughout Moving my neck hurt its movement was very +limited and it would tire quickly had the necessary symptoms for a diagnosis of cervical +neuromuscular syndrome which includes chronic neck pain headaches sympathetic +upregulation depression and anxiety Thats right a tense neck contributes to anxiety +Studies show that it may also contribute to general fatigue muscle strain arthritis herniated +discs pinched nerves and higher overall mortality +would ask my girlfriend to stand on my upper back hoping that the pressure would crack +my vertebrae into proper alignment Of course this didnt work At one point it crossed my +mind that the extreme curvature in my neck was due to the cumulative effects of repetitive +strain quickly dismissed this notion because realized how difficult it would be to fix if this +was the problem Sadly it was wanted a quick fix but there wasnt and isnt one +Straightening my neck required years of proper breathing unbracing massage postural +awareness exercise and antirigidity +The lower cervical vertebrae C and C bulged out prominently while the vertebrae above +them were shrunken in It took a year of antirigidity training for C and C to come into +alignment with C and C Another year passed before C and C joined them Gradually +these vertebrae migrated back into place until the bulges and hump went away Now my neck +has a healthy curvature and all my previous symptoms are gone This transformation begins +with something called neck retraction +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +i +G +Upper Neck +Bent Backward +Lower Neck +Bent Forward +Illustration A Neck protracted with the chin poking forward B Skeleton with cervical vertebrae visible +C Neck retracted with the chin tucked +Neck Retraction Is Tucking the Jaw into the Neck +Crookedness in the neck derives from bringing our head forward tilting the chin up and +compressing or scrunching the top of the back of the neck This is called neck protraction Lets +program ourselves to do the opposite neck retraction We saw neck retraction in Chapter as +the fifth principle of optimal posture Lets dive deeper +Neck Exercise Neck Retraction +The first step is to pull your chin and jaw backward as if you were trying to pull them into +your throat As you keep your chin tucked lean your head backward relative to your chest +until your ears are pulled back behind the chest in line with the center of your shoulder Roll +your shoulders back and down while looking straight ahead Adopting this position while +doing different activities from different loading positions will help you internalize it For +instance try nodding yes shaking no or bobbing your head to music with the neck retracted +Another method to achieve this posture is to grab a clump of your hair at the base of the +back of your skull and gently pull it up and back Alternatively Pilates practitioners imagine a +string from the heavens attached to the back of their skull constantly pulling their heads +upward Think about holding a calm prolonged contraction in the muscles involved Spend +five minutes holding this posture and performing antirigidity within it while breathing +diaphragmatically +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders +Ilustration Various neck positions for antirigidity +Most people exercise socialize and sit with their necks exclusively protracted +Combined with the stress and strain of daily life this firmly fixes the neck in a forward slumped +posture Untucking the chin while lifting weights or working at a desk further solidifies this +degenerative cervical position When most people then try to retract their necks it feels sticky +achy and scary Almost everyone butts up against a firm wall of dormant muscle in the back of +their neck when they retract it This wall of dormancy is the hump itself You will need to use +antirigidity to chip away at the muscular adhesions responsible for this cramped obstruction +Stop Untucking Your Chin +The dowagers hump arises from the selfhandicapping act of untucking the chin and +protracting the neck This act of jutting the chin out in front of the body declares give up to +anyone watching In my twenties would always untuck my chin whenever passed by anyone +It appears polite and disarming to others but is poisonous to you This social signal innate to +our biology is throwing in the towel Most people untuck their necks whenever they are +nervous and especially during startle They might as well be placing their head on a chopping +block If anything you want to retract your neck when startled as this protects your neck with +your jaw +held my head as if were scared that would bump it against something if stood up +straight held it as if were using my neck to appease angry giants held it as if were trying to +tell the world that the pith of my body the musculature that supports the head exists in a +deeply defective position The extent of your hunchback is a function of how often you untuck +your chin Everyone is aware of this implicitly but almost no one speaks of it or does anything +about it Now that you are explicitly aware use chin retraction to increase your nonverbal +dominance Again the more often you fake it the more natural you make it +Making Neck Retraction Habitual +Some people refrain from retracting their neck because it results in a double chin +Paradoxically not using the muscles responsible for retraction increases the flabbiness in this +area So retracting your neck often will eventually make that double chin disappear The chin +lock from Exercise as well as compression exercises and for the jawline and +jowls will help greatly in training neck retraction Combining these exercises will excise the +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +pudginess behind your chin straighten the back of your neck increase the extent of ujjayi +breathing and enrich your voice One of the main causes of weakened voice is postural +When the neck is not retracted the laryngeal musculature loses proper tone +Neck retraction will also make your head lighter The more the head protrudes in front of +the body the more stress is placed on the cervical spine Straight up and down the head +produces about pounds of pressure on the neck When the head is tilted toward the floor at +degrees this becomes pounds and at degrees it is pounds Thus neck retraction +can lighten the weight of the head by as much as five times This is enough to turn an +overbearing continuous strain into a healthy continuous load +Neck extension can be a great counterpose to neck retraction To do this you bend the +head backward +Neck Exercise Neck Extension to Retraction +Extend your neck This means bending it backward lifting your chin and tilting your head +back as if looking up at the sky Breathe out for several seconds in this position For the +inhale flex your neck back into retraction and breathe in for several seconds Repeat this +fifteen times It can help to use the arms like the model in the pictures below Repeat the +cycle to times +When your head is extended backward practice turningrotating your upper and lower neck +to the right and left Also practice both neck retraction and protraction from the extended +position Neck retraction from an extended position will reach deeply into the hump in your +neck and provide an opportunity for antirigidity +Illustration Alternating between neck extension and neck retraction +An exercise that alternates between neck retraction and extension is often first in a series +of hot yoga poses It is sometimes called standing deep breathing because it is traditionally +done simultaneously with a form of paced breathing My initial experiences with this yoga +routine strongly influenced the Program Peace method because they made it incredibly clear +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders +how effective paced breathing is in the healing process firmly recommend these poses as a +daily practice You can easily find videos online Now for some other exercises that used daily +will remodel your neck +Neck Exercise Neck Extension and Rotation +Lie on your back on the floor Lift the head an inch off the ground and turn the head from +side to side As you do this either touch your chin to each shoulder or touch each ear to the +ground Repeat times or until you reach fatigue You can do this with the neck +retracted or protracted flexed or extended +Mgr +fo Da Se +When socialized in my twenties must have been bracing and immobilizing practically +every muscle in my neck Looking back on it now my neck was like an ankle that had been +sprained over and over but never iced massaged stretched or exercised More than anything +else exercises and have brought it close to optimality The following lists other +helpful routines you can use to limber your neck right up +Neck Exercises Various Neck Antirigidity Postures +Like all the exercises in this chapter these are intended to be combined with diaphragmatic +breathing and the antirigidity technique Use the different positions described here to find +and rehab dormant achy muscle +Lie on your back on the floor with your head on the ground Lift the chin to the center +of your chest sternum and then lower it back to the floor Repeat times or +until fatigued To make this harder each time you lower your head look to either the +right or the left +Lie on your stomach on the floor Lift the head off the ground and rotate it from right +to left touching your right ear to the ground then your left Repeat times +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Hang your head and neck off the edge of the bed while lying on your back Tilt your +head as far back as it will go and look at the floor Then turn your head from side to +side to times Enjoy the stretch as you hang and sway +Swiss +While standing look straight ahead Retract your neck then bend you neck to the +side so that your right ear approaches your right shoulder Hold for seconds then +bend the left ear toward the left shoulder Repeat times +fe a +a +Le +While standing retract your neck and rotate your head to the right as far as it will go +Hold for seconds then rotate to the left Repeat times Do this again with the +neck protracted +rift +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders +Bend your head forward as far as it will go to look at the ground With the neck in +total flexion gently retract the neck from this position for five seconds then protract +it for five Rest focusing on the ache For additional pressure interlock your fingers +behind your head allowing the weight to gently pull your neck further downward +anahal +Place a towel around your neck like a scarf to provide support Roll your head in a +large circle Do this times Be sure to alternate directions Perform this slowly +allowing the neck to hang as much as possible while rotating This will mobilize the +muscles at the bottom of the neck to execute the rotations +Draw a circle in front of your face with your nose Doing so will utilize the muscles at +the top of the neck to execute the rotation Do this times As you alternate +directions of the circle try varying its size You might try drawing triangles or squares +AAA +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Lie on your back on a group of pillows or a large stability ball The goal is to create a +global backward curve in your spine Let your entire neck relax extending your head +completely back While remaining on the ball cradle your head in your hands and pull +your chin up to your chest and hold it there Now retract it actively Stretch into the +aching sensation there between your neck and your shoulder blades +SERIES +Lie on your back and cradle your neck with your hands Perform tiny situps or +crunches that only lift your neck and shoulders off the ground Focus on kyphosis in +your necka full forward arch Use the muscles in your throat to perform these +modified situps The muscles in the back of your neck will stabilize the action +getting a great stretch in the process Try looking to either side while performing this +neck situp +Have you ever wondered why a collared shirt is an essential aspect of proper business +attire believe it is to obscure the extent of neck protraction so that neck posture does not +play a role in corporate politics The boss or manager may be the best person for a leadership +role but their lack of neck retraction might communicate to their underlings that they do not +have a lifetime history of leadership experience This could undermine their authority Also the +person with the straightest neck is not necessarily the most knowledgeable and thus should not +have undue influence on business matters You want your companys hierarchy based on +diligence and competence believe that like suit jackets with padded shoulders collars level +the playing field of physicality +believe that people who emerged from childhood with their neck mobility intact have a +more dominant physical presence The way their head is situated absolutely shines and its +natural motion is intimidatingly smooth and beautiful It is also usually easy for these people to +build upper body muscle Your neck may have become stiff and hunched before you reached +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders +puberty but it still has the potential to be remobilized to its optimal extent These exercises will +rehabilitate aspects of your neck that you havent used in years After reclaiming your muscles +and the coordination to use them you will find that they contribute subtly to everything you +do A retracted neck with no dormancy or frailty appears striking and even ostentatious but +you wont feel guilty about it because the people struck by it will know you cant help it +Optimal neck carriage is something that cannot be faked +Illustration Additional antirigidity poses for the neck +Simulate Vomiting to Stimulate Missing Corners in the Neck +Sometimes when throw up feel a gratifying crack in my neck An ancient reflexive motor arc +is actuated during vomiting that contracts all the attachments in the neck in series allowing you +to access muscles you normally have no conscious control of Take advantage of this by +performing neck antirigidity while you pretend to vomit +Neck Exercise Simulate Vomiting +Find your way to your hands and knees and rest comfortably Simulate the action of throwing +up Dry heaving will induce contractions in muscles from the stomach to the back of the head +as part of an innate action pattern As you use the vomiting pattern to reach into muscles +throughout the neck twist and turn the neck in every direction You should notice small +cracking sensations as well as the achy sensation of activating muscles that rarely get used +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Before Program Peace vomiting was painful for me This was the case because muscles in my +abdomen were braced to the point of stagnancy At times when retching my internal organs +would feel like they were on fire As you might have guessed the diaphragm and stomach +produce much of the force used to expel food This exercise along with those from Chapter +and have made it so that vomiting is painless +Keep Your Shoulders Down and Back +In cartoons when a character becomes defensive or deferential they raise their shoulders +Body language experts and animal behaviorists point out that this behavior may represent an +effort to protect the neck specifically the carotid artery and jugular vein However prolonged +use of this insecure posture causes the muscles along the back of the neck and shoulders +trapezius to become stuck in partial contraction This means we walk sit and sleep in our +beds with raised shoulders +The simple act of actively pushing the shoulders toward the floor can remodel the upper +body The latissimus dorsi lats that start under the armpits and run along the sides of the +torso provide this tug The more often you use them to pull the shoulders down the more tone +they develop Pilates practitioners concentrate on keeping the head up and the shoulders down +by imagining they are trying to maximize the distance between their ears and the tops of their +shoulders In personal training this is referred to as shoulder packing It involves depressing +the shoulders and squeezing the shoulder blades together Regularly engaging in a practice like +this will improve your kinesthetic awareness of what it feels like to appropriately position your +neck and shoulder blades +Neck Exercise Keeping the Shoulders Down and Back +Bring your neck into a gentle retraction Next press your shoulders down toward the floor +The shoulder blades should be lightly squeezed together adducted with neck elongated +chin angled down and chest open From here engage your entire shoulder girdle by pressing +your shoulders and arms down You can pretend that you are a gymnast performing a +support hold on two parallel bars You could also imagine that you are pressing yourself up +out of a sewer hole Once you have gotten the hang of it try it pressing down against a hard +surface such as a chair tabletop or the floor Again you want to reinforce this position from +as many angles as possible +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders +Pressing the shoulders down is made easier by carrying or pretending to carry a load in +the hands This is the posture of a highly commanding and athletic person It is also the posture +that our body was designed for given that we have been finetuned for carrying items while +walking Imagine yourself carrying large hunks of meat or a long spear and a heavy wooden +club The most efficient way to carry these things is with the shoulders fully pressed toward the +ground as our ancestors would have Whether walking socializing carrying things exercising +or in bed you want your shoulders back and down +Neck Exercise Keeping the Shoulders Down with Weights +Hold a two to pound dumbbell in each hand and allow the weight to pull your shoulders +toward the floor Dynamically shift the position of your shoulder blades and focus on the +sensations involved While letting the weight tug at your shoulders gently rotate the +shoulders outward and inward Next try rolling them either forward or backward in circles +As you do so try to contract all the muscles in your upper torso You should feel this stretch +reaching into previously hidden rigidity all over your upper body +Puff Up and Open the Chest +Many women hold the breastbone down and inward to withdraw their breasts Men do it to +make their chest less conspicuous This unnecessary modesty leads to unhealthy posture by +depressing the collarbones and lowering the head Ladies and gentlemen it is healthiest for you +to project your breast forward so disregard any perceived social consequences +Neck Exercise Heart Opener +With your neck retracted clasp your hands behind your back and pull down This should +draw your shoulders back and down and spread your collarbones wide Arch the chest +upward and forward Project it out into space Walk and move in this way with your chest +cracked wide open +For optimal shoulder stability you want to strengthen the muscles that externally rotate +your shoulders Do this by turning your wrists outward so that your palms face forward +Allow this to rotate your shoulders toward your back so that they are no longer slumped +forward With this simple change you should feel your chest and collarbones spread open deep +within their joints Alternately try lifting your arms to waist height with the palms facing the +sky At the same time retract your neck flex your glutes and puff out your chest Keep +practicing this external rotation of the shoulders until it is habitual It is especially important +during cardio and weightbearing exercises +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +T +Illustration A woman A pressing herself out of a sewer hole B allowing weights to tug her shoulders down +C with her shoulders back and down and the hands clasped behind the back D E with her palms facing the sky +and her shoulders externally rotated +Use Shrugging for Antirigidity +Apes generally walk on all fours Their upper body which we have inherited was designed for +it To support this form of locomotion apes assume a multitude of neck and shoulder postural +configurations as they press their hands against the ground with each stride There are many +such postures between shoulders completely shrugged and shoulders completely down +You will find that shoulder shrugging is a great counterpose to shoulders down and that a shrug +enhances your ability to find achiness in the neck retracted position +Postural Exercise Shrugging +Place your hands on the ground a table or a countertop and push away while +simultaneously shrugging your shoulders to rehabilitate frailty Vary this posture in as many +ways as possible Try it with your neck extended and retracted Try it with the shoulders +bowed toward the front of the body and then rotated toward the back +Illustration Shrugging positions for antirigidity +Other Methods of Antirigidity +Aside from knucklewalking apes are also built for climbing trees and swinging between +branches You may know where am going with this recommend using either gymnastics rings +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders +or TRX Bands to recreate similar isometric poses to repair your neck and shoulders You can +hang rings or bands from many places including a tree branch or even a pullup bar ina +doorway Use these supports to place your body into unfamiliar positions from which to search +for areas in need of antirigidity +Neck Exercise Using Gymnastics Rings for Optimal Neck Retraction +Place each of your hands in a ring with your arms spread out at degrees Press down +lightly on the rings as if you were attempting to perform an iron cross Retract the neck +pulling the chin toward the neck This position should be very frail and unstable and should +provide months of productive antirigidity training +You can assume many other gymnastic positions from the rings and receive an excellent +isometric workout The positions include the support hold Maltese and various other static +strength holds You can also perform ring pushups dips pullups rows front levers +muscleups hanging leg raises and much more Because you can do these with your feet on +the ground you have complete control of the intensity As these exercises get easier put +more of your weight into your arms rather than your legs +Many other tools can be used in antirigidity as props to place the body into unfamiliar +joint configurations You can use a trapeze a pullup bar gymnastics supports a yoga swing +inflatable stability balls and many others A long dowel or pole can also be used to help you +leverage neglected positions in what are commonly called stick mobility exercises +If you have access to a pool or body of water you should also consider treading water +Treading water is near the top of the list of exercises when it comes to calories burned per +minute Despite this it is not likely to lead to repetitive strain injuries because it happens ina +weightless environment where there is very little stress on your joints Every inch of your +body is working while you tread and unlike other cardio routines the arms shoulders neck +and torso are completely engaged Also it presents various opportunities for antirigidity +because there are dozens of kick and arm variations you can use Treading water with your +arms while holding your neck in a retracted position may be the fastest way to ingrain +retraction Treading water in a pool never gets boring because you can bring a phone or tablet +outside prop it up on the ground using a towel and use it to watch videos while you tread +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Ate ACP +LI +niveat +Pe +ore +Illustration Poses for antirigidity and antilaxity using gymnastics rings or TRX bands +paar e nites +a Watacrease +EONS +CDPAOIGME +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +also recommend contracting into poses of postural strength on a trampoline +For instance bounce up and down while flexing the glutes flexing the chin to the chest +and pulling the shoulders back and down The accelerations and deaccelerations from jumping +will expose frailty and allow you to flex deeper into some of your biggest problem areas Even a +mini trampoline can be used to this end +Compression for the Neck +strongly advise massaging the neck You want to use compression percussion and vibration +on every nook and cranny Exercises and and Exercise provide examples +Consider regularly using percussion with a knuckle tool baseball or vibrating massager on the +entire neck to reduce excessive tone +The End Goal for the Upper Body +As you get better at pushing your shoulders toward the ground with a retracted neck you will +find that this integrates your entire upper body into a more cohesive unit It will allow you to +create simultaneous and complementary tone in the muscles that pull the shoulder forward +pectorals the muscles that pull the shoulders backward rhomboids and the muscles that +pull the shoulders down latissimus dorsi This allows these three sets of muscles to pull +against each other synergistically +Most people tend to contract only one of these at a time but not all three simultaneously +Generally only very physically dominant people with limber necks feel comfortable having this +triumvirate active all at once You want to walk around with a light contraction in all three of +these muscle groups on a daily basis As you do it picture yourself as Conan the Barbarian with +a giant sword in his hands as SheHulk carrying groups of people out of a burning building or as +something in that vicinity +Illustration A Pectorals B Rhomboids C Latissimus Dorsi D All three muscle groups holding a light +contraction will result in the conveyance of power +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders +Conclusion +For two decades had a pronounced knot to the right of the C vertebra in my neck It was +large enough for people to notice regularly and inquire about The knot was larger than the size +of my entire thumb and several professionals voiced their concerns No fewer than four +doctors told me it was not muscular and that it was a lipoma or a cyst However knew it was +just a knotted muscle Over the next two years used antirigidity to leverage my way into this +achy closeddown gnarl As gained access to it by searching for positions capable of making it +ache it shrunk gradually until it disappeared This general process applied to several other +knots in my neck that were less conspicuous Apply it to yours +Indian people use a head shake or wobble as a nonverbal signal to indicate goodwill and +use it to mean anything from good to I understand believe this wobble signifies neck +vitality relaxation and an easygoing approach It is a beautiful way to put people at ease and +think it is no coincidence that this marvelous expression arises from the same culture that +brought us yoga and Buddhist philosophy Incorporate the use of your neck into your nonverbal +behavior Use smooth playful neck motions to help you build rapport with people and allay +their tendency toward neck stiffness +The simple exercises in this chapter will revise the neural circuitry involved in holding your +head up They will provide abounding coordination mobility and strength that will make your +neck posture monumental Raise your head imperiously with poise and majesty and be the +master of all that you survey +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e In most people the neck is severely underused and holds massive amounts of strain +e Anterior head syndrome also called the dowagers hump and nerd neck is caused +by jutting the chin out bending the top of the neck backward and pushing the bottom +of the neck forward This is called neck protraction and is a highly submissive posture +e Counteract this by performing neck retraction which involves pulling the bottom of the +neck backward and pushing the top forward while tucking the chin inward toward the +chest and throat This should include a chin lock +e You can assume many postures that will help you locate dormant muscle in the neck +and shoulders so that it can be rehabilitated with antirigidity training These include +neck retraction protraction and extension pressing the shoulders down shrugging +hugging yourself shoulder external rotation opening the chest clasping the hands +behind the back holding them out to the side and many others +e The more you practice bringing dormant neck and shoulder muscles to fatigue the +sooner they will be strong enough to hold an athletic and stable position naturally +e If you use antirigidity to rehab the stiff rigid muscles in your neck you will become less +tightly wound and you will find the act of exercise to be easier and more rewarding +Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders +Chapter Endnotes +Matsui T Fujimoto T Treatment for depression with chronic neck pain +completely cured in of patients following neck muscle treatment Neuroscience +Medicine +Kado D M Huang M H Karlamangla A S BarrettConnor E Greendale G A +Hyperkyphotic posture predicts mortality in older communitydwelling men and +women A prospective study Journal of the American Geriatric Society +Hansraj K K Assessment of stresses in the cervical spine caused by posture and +position of the head Surgical Technology International +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back +Lower back pain is more common than neck pain it is the second leading cause for physician +visits in the US It is so crippling that Americans spend an estimated billion annually on +lower back pain alone This preventable ailment is taxing our wallets and healthcare system +Because our lower backs are foundational to our morale fortitude and faith in ourselves +weakness and pain in that area tax our very sense of personal agency +In most cases the predominant reason for back pain is muscular imbalance Vital muscles +are left underused and undeveloped while others are overused and strained We use them +at only a fraction of their full range and usually only while breathing shallowly This corrupts +the muscles with the same ailment we have been discussing all along dormancy due to +partial contraction +Illustration A Interior anatomy of the lower back with some underlying musculature revealed B Exterior +musculature of the lower back C Excessive backward curve lordosis in the lower back +My lower back was treacherous The muscles surrounding my lumbar vertebrae were in +such bad shape that they hurt every time coughed or sneezed would severely strain my +lower back every year due to stress lack of sleep or improper exercise leaving me unable to +walk for days at a time A few times was bedridden for a week forced to crawl back and forth +to the bathroom on my hands and knees Since began antirigidity training this has never +happened The dormant muscle that used to lock up when threw my back out was +transformed into springy mobile loadaccepting muscle unraveled my entire lumbar region +by combining antirigidity spinal decompression stretching and therapeutic massage This +chapter will touch on each of these giving you the information you need to transform your +bodys most powerful physical asset +How tense is your lower back The activity below will guide you through using your fingers +to feel the tense dormant muscles along the back of your hips iliac crest +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Lower Back Activity Diagnose the Extent of Lower Back Dormancy +Press your index and middle fingers into your lower back inches above each butt cheek +Feel the muscles covering the sacrum the central bone pictured below and your pelviss iliac +crests the bony prominences to each side of the sacrum As you move your fingers out +toward your hips you will likely feel large tense cords of muscle fibers right over the +sacroiliac joints labeled below This is dormancy This chapter will detail how to bring them +to their ideal state smooth and flat with no perceptible knotting +Spine +Sacroiliac +Joint +lliac Crest +Sacrum +Pelvis +Coccyx +Sitz Bones +Illustration A Man feeling tense knots at a sacroiliac joint B Woman with apparent dimples at the sacroiliac +joints C Spine and pelvis seen from behind The sacroiliac joints are marked with an x +As you know from Chapter the lower part of our spine called the lumbar region +naturally curves backward This backward bend is known as lumbar lordosis The lower back is +bent lordotically to support the legs and absorb impact In lordosis the top of the pelvis is tilted +forward as if you were pouring a bowl of soup from your waist out in front of you In most +people this lordotic curve is excessive making it structurally unsound When the lordosis is +excessive it is called anterior pelvic tilt or pelvic anteversion Generally the more pelvic tilt +one has the less pelvic mobility is available to them +When my back had excessive lordosis my belly button was very far from my nipples +Observe your belly button in your default posture How far is it from your nipples To correct +this flex your glutes push your hips forward and watch your belly button rise Squeezing your +glutes resets your pelvislumbar relationship back to where nature intended it to be That is +why it is essential to do this throughout the day +Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back +Vey WAT +Illustration A Excessive lumbar lordosis is apparent as a considerable distance between the navel and +nipples B Flexing the glutes and pushing the hips forward results in a neutral lower spine with less distance +between the belly button and nipples C Excessive lumbar lordosis from the side D Neutral spine with +glutes flexed +You can also neutralize excessive lordosis by teaching the lower spine to curve in the +extreme opposite direction To do this flex the hips inward and up toward the face lumbar +kyphosis This rotates the imaginary soup bowl backward so that the soup is no longer pouring +out in front of you like to think of this posture as shrimping up because it involves curling +the spines bottom half toward the stomach Flex your glutes as you do this and it becomes the +equivalent of neck retraction +Recruiting Your Gluteus Muscles +When the glutes are offline other muscles poorly suited for the job are forced to support the +core and stabilize the trunk It is generally the muscles in the lower back and hips that end up +compensating for underuse of the gluteus muscles taking on heaps of tension in the process +To counteract this and set your pelvis in a neutral position simply contract your buttocks +Squeezing your butt ensures your pelvic posture and tilt are optimized +Pilates advocates maintaining a neutral spine by sucking your stomach in flexing your +abdominals relaxing the lumbar spine and holding the glutes in a light contraction +During Pilates workouts practitioners try to maintain this core engagement throughout every +exercise Neutral spine and glute engagement should be generalized to everything you do +not just exercise Ideally the glutes should have some form of contractile tone with every +movement you make This will trim your abdomen and increase the strength and size of +your butt Another reason some people dont flex the glutes is they want to increase the +conspicuousness of their butt as excessive lumbar lordosis pushes the butt out further +However lumbar lordosis deactivates the glutes and with time their tone will decrease +resulting in a smaller weaker butt +Flexing the glutes is a dominant expression that we shouldnt hesitate to make Most +people avoid it however because the way their life has programed them contracting their +glutes takes their breath away Imagine being a naked caveman or woman The commanding +ones had gluteal tone and the unassuming ones had hindquarters that were soft and limp +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +So use antilaxity to make glute firmness your default by paring firm glute contractions with +deep breathing many times per day While this can make the lower back feel stiff you can also +employ antirigidity with the glutes contracted moving in ways that target unfamiliar +achy configurations +Perform Antirigidity During Cat and Cow Poses +Performing antirigidity maneuvers within yoga poses is an excellent way to find dormant lower +back muscles that will benefit from being contracted In particular cow cat and birddog poses +are the bread and butter of lower back health +LRP Ag +Illustration A Cat or camel pose B Cow pose C Birddog pose +Backward Bends Straighten Your Spine +A powerful way to counteract lumbar lordosis is to gradually introduce your body to global back +extension You can start by watching TV lying on your stomach To make this more comfortable +you can prop yourself up on your elbows or place a pillow under your chest To make it harder +try pressing the pubic bone into the floor until you are balancing on your pelvis and balling your +buttocks into firm mounds When you need something harder still gently lift your feet and +knees off the ground +Use the back extension exercises in which you rolled over a basketball from Chapter to +complement these positions The simple act of lying on your stomach on the floor will make you +feel stiff at first so remember to perform a forward bend or a few situps afterward as a +counterpose With time work toward a full upward dog pose If you can breathe slowly and +fully in these positions you can dismantle your vertebral tension +A +Illustration A Reading on the stomach B Pressing the pelvis into the ground C Upward dog pose +Downward Dog Pose +Downward dog is another key yoga pose After you internalize the mechanics of downward +dog try walking the dog by bending one knee at a time Next try shifting the butt left and +Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back +right while holding downward dog Pivot as much as you can with your hips while doing this +You can access many normally inaccessible muscles all over the spine from this position This +includes muscles in your neck For example from downward dog look to the right raising and +lowering the head times Repeat this while looking to the left Soend time walking around in +downward dog doing the bear crawl +Illustration A B C D Downward dog pose E F Plow pose +Strengthen the Hip Flexors Childs Happy Baby and Pigeon Poses +Strengthening the hip flexor muscles on the front side of your waist is imperative for lower back +health To do this practice the poses below while focusing on bringing the knee closer to the +chest in a way that creates a firm contraction in the frontal portion of the hip If you breathe +through the subtle pinch in the hip flexor you can coax it to contract fully Doing this regularly +will cause your hip flexors to become much stronger and provide integral support for your +lower back +Illustration A Childs pose B Happy baby pose C D Pigeon pose +Trunk Twist +There are many joints in the lower back and hips that articulate very subtly They amount to a +small degree of movement but their presence or absence affects every lower body motion +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +For instance people with a mobile sacroiliac joint can twist their trunk below the waist If you +sit in a chair and turn to look over your shoulder you want the turning motion to extend from +the neck all the way down to the sitz bones If the rotation stops at your waist level you know +that your sacroiliac joint is locked up Regular trunk twists will unlock a multitude of muscles +along your spine allowing your hips to move with your legs during walking and making every +lower body movement more graceful sensual and stable +LATALe +Illustration Trunk twist while A seated in a chair B standing C touching the floor D seated on the ground +ZI SO An +i A +Illustration Hip twist progression The first row shows a version of this exercise where the feet are not +touching The second row shows a much more challenging version where the feet are touching Performing this +times daily will help you progress from the first version to the second over just a few months while building +lower back and core strength +Wagging Your Tail +Next will describe a tactic to engage your hips that can lead to better hip mobility think of it +as wagging the tail To do this tilt your pelvis from side to side This is called pelvic incline or +list One hip goes up while the other goes down and then you reverse it One way to master +this movement is to relax on your back keeping both legs straight Then pull one leg in toward +you and push the other away Practice varying the extent intensity and speed until you +develop coordination Once you have mastered this hip swivel you can even do it while seated +The contractions involved will lead you to plenty of achy muscles Combining tail wagging with +antirigidity will help restore motor control and fluid motion to the hips and pelvis +Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back +i +Illustration A B Sitting pelvic tilt C D Lying pelvic tilt +Standing One Leg Up +While standing place one foot flat on a surface that is between knee and waist height This will allow +you to leverage your way into hip frailty to which you may have previously been oblivious From here +you can also perform isometric contractions of your side obliques abdominals and one of your glutes +Regularly put one foot up on tables and countertops to achieve these +ay +Illustration With one leg up perform a A side bend B twist or C forward bend +Rock and Roll on the Floor +An excellent way to resituate your lumbar vertebrae is to rock up and down your spine from +your tailbone to your neck To avoid injury do this on a carpet or yoga mat Lie down on your +back and pull your knees into your chest Roll forward and backward Attempt to roll smoothly +from the first position depicted in the drawings below to the third and back again repeatedly +To do this properly you want your entire spine curved into a forward Cshape kyphosis You +should find that as you rock into the third position pictured below where the man has his +weight on his neck your lumbar region is subject to a pleasurable pulling sensation Use this for +antirigidity +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Ilustration Rolling in a ball to achieve antirigidity +Squats +Squats create formidable strength but also expose us to a high risk of injury recommend +performing them with absolutely no weight as a way to develop foundational strength +Performing between five and squat repetitions every other day is a great way to improve +force and power production in the body If you arent using weights you can play with and vary +the forces acting on the disks and vertebrae distributing them in different ways to intentionally +load the weakest segments +Illustration A Performing squats or deadlifts with heavy weight and invariant posture inevitably leads to +injury and pain As should be clear by now our bodies were not designed for this kind of strain B C Instead +opt for bodyweight squats with optimal neutral posture or minor postural variations +Especially if you perform squats with additional weight it is imperative to squat using +proper form You want your back flat feet straight and your knees slightly outside your feet yet +behind your toes Take a wide stance with your feet just outside the shoulders As you squat +keep your shins as vertical as possible not tilted forward Put your hands at chin height out in +front of you At the bottom of the squat you want to maintain a neutral curve in your lower +back without excessive lordosis or kyphosis As you stand flex your butt +strongly recommend starting with supported squats You can achieve this by holding +a rail tabletop chair leg pair of doorknobs TRX bands or gymnastics rings and using them to +Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back +pull yourself up You can also place your hands on your knees and push against them for +support This will reduce the forces on your hips knees and ankles allowing you to progress +into unsupported squats in time Breathing deeply from a low squat with your knees +moderately loaded will recondition them healing that crunchy quality and reducing their +tendency to pop and lock up It will do the same for your ankles and lower back +Most people cannot perform a fullrange butttoankle squat While many exercise +professionals advise against lowering your butt below the knees when squatting recommend +lowering your butt to rest on your heels but only if you do so with body weight in a slow +controlled manner When paired with diaphragmatic breathing a complete squat will give you +a full lower back stretch extending to where your lumbar spine meets your sacrum excising the +tension from this area +Everyone should do bodyweight squats Even doing only five a day will inevitably teach +your body to do it properly recommend trying other advanced weightlifting techniques such +as lunges power cleans snatches and deadlifts with either body weight or very light +dumbbells recommend only adding weight once you have mastered the form and can do +repetitions without any discomfort +Studies have shown that lower back exercises are the most beneficial when practiced daily +More importantly endurance exercise is recommended over exertive exercise for its protective +value In other words use low intensity body weight and high repetition to to slowly +and gently bring these muscles to fatigue These will establish your unrealized core strength +Static Squatting +Holding a static squat with your butt at the level of your knees is an ageold yoga technique In +martial arts this is done with the legs somewhat spread in a pose called horse stance which +is used to strengthen the lower back and create a feeling of groundedness A system called +Foundation Training developed by Eric Goodman popularized another version of the static +squat called the founder pose Check out his version online A static squat helps isolate and +strengthen the epicenter of lower back frailty +Lower Back Exercise Hold a Static Squat +With legs shoulder length apart bend your knees until your butt is just above the level of +your knees Hold a static squat while placing the lower back into different configurations +From squatting position introduce complete lordosis in your lower back and then total +kyphosis Hold the squat while moving carefully back and forth between the two +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +oe +Ilustration A Static squat with lumbar lordosis B Static squat with lumbar neutrality C Static squat with +lumbar kyphosis +Release the Hamstrings +Most of us have hamstring tension that has caused them to adapt to shorterthannormal +resting length Shortened hamstrings tug insidiously on the sitz bones placing significant +pressure on the lower back This constant pull forces the pelvis into excessive lordosis This is +why stretching the hamstrings is very important for lower back health One of the best ways to +stretch your hamstrings is to lie on your back with one leg in the air wrapping a towel or belt +around your foot From here pull your foot toward your head as pictured below A ubiquitous +lower back disorder called lower cross syndrome is marked by short and tight hamstrings and +groin muscles along with weak and underdeveloped buttocks and abdominals Hamstring and +hip flexor stretches will relieve the former while squats and situps will strengthen the latter +Weak Tight +Abdominals Thoracolumbar +Extensors +Tight Hip Weak Glutes +Flexors +Illustration A Man sitting with legs straight releasing the hamstrings B Stretching the hamstring using +a towel C The features of the lower cross syndrome +Spinal Decompression and Traction +Age and pressure pull our vertebrae closer together compressing the spine This makes the +spine like an inchworm that has retracted its telescoping body segments Decompression also +known as spinal traction stretches the muscles surrounding the spinal vertebrae increasing +Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back +circulation and resting length Once these muscles are stretched they can contract more fully +and undergo antirigidity exercises Spinal decompression can feel precarious like you are being +pulled apart Combining it with diaphragmatic breathing however will assure your spine that it +is safe to expand to full length +A great way to decompress is to use an inversion table and lie upside down suspended by +your feet for a few minutes each day Commonly recommended by physicians inversion tables +have demonstrated significant clinical benefits A second method to achieve this is to practice +stretchlying which encourage you to read about online Third passive motion from shaking +can also aid in decompression Passive motion can come from having someone jostle your spine +rhythmically or using a reciprocating chi machine that continuously shakes the body All three +of these techniques often cause peoples spines to tense up defensively But if you give in to it +you can teach your spinal muscles not to resist the passive forces As you might imagine paced +breathing is immensely helpful to that end +Massage also has decompressive effects eg Activity Consider having a masseuse +perform an easy deep tissue massage on your lower back After a few visits it should feel +comfortable for them to use their elbows to press deeply into every area surrounding your +lumbar spine Having a masseuse stand on your lower back can also be helpful and is common +in Thai massage If your back is very strong you can ask your masseuse to stand on your pelvis +and take gentle steps all the way up your spine This is a fantastic way to decompress these +areas but it can be dangerous +Decompressing the spine will help your muscles extend to their intended length However +because they have yet to be used at this length and have poor tone as a result they will initially +be vulnerable to injury if accidentally contracted too forcefully This is why after any form of +decompression you should avoid intense workouts and instead use antirigidity carefully +and remedially +Compression and Massage +Compressing the muscles in your lower back by lying on top of baseballs is highly effective +To do this lie with your back on the ground and bend your knees Place a baseball on each side +of your spine just above your pelvis or along the iliac crest Alternatively you can use softballs +or tennis balls if baseballs are too painful Once the balls are in place lift your feet into the air +Use your legs to regulate the pressure placed on the balls directing that pressure into the +sorest spots You can also use them to compress the muscles around your love handles as well +as the gluteus maximus gluteus minimus gluteus medius piriformis and others +You want to rest each portion of your pelvis on the balls for several seconds at a time +ensuring you are breathing deeply and slowly The tremendous aching sensation results in fresh +blood pouring into stale lifeless muscles The aching will be vastly reduced after only a dozen +fiveminute sessions However as with the decompression exercises in the last section +it potentially leaves your lower back open to serious injury if you load these newly relaxed +muscles too intensely or too soon Therefore recommend performing this after your regular +exercises or before bed Using baseballs in this way will uproot the iliac knots and expel the +tension from your lower back +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration A Man pressing two baseballs into the sacroiliac joints B Man rolling lower back over a foam +cumble roller C Man using an inversion table +When baseballs are pressing into your back the pressure will change your backs normal +configuration permitting stretches in planes of motion previously blocked Take advantage of +this and perform antirigidity in these planes You can attain the same effect by placing a +football basketball or yoga block under your sacrum while lying supine +Like cankles love handles form due to dormant muscle Press a baseball thumb knuckle +or tool into the spongey dormant muscles responsible for your love handles Focus on pressing +firmly into the top ridge of your posterior pelvis Compressing and percussing these muscles +will revive them introduce new mobility in your hips and accordingly reduce fat deposition at +the site +To reduce confusion it is important for me to address the idea of localized fat loss +The majority of scientific studies have debunked the idea of targeted fat loss sometimes called +spot reduction In other words working out a particular area of the body may reduce overall +body fat but generally does not reduce fat deposition at that particular site For instance doing +a lot of bicep curls makes them bigger but does not reduce the fat content of the upper arm +However it is my conviction that rehabilitating dormant muscle using the antirigidity and +massage techniques outlined in this book can result in spot reduction have seen dramatic +instances of it on my own body and on those of my clients As the crunchy achy muscle around +your midsection is rehabbed it will become lean and trim +How to Bend Over +Most people bend over from the waist This means they hunch their spine forward from the +height of their belly button to bend down This leads to injury When bending you want to keep +your spine straight by bending a few inches lower at the hips This results in a hinge from the +hip with a straight back Hip hinging strengthens the erector spinae muscles and stretches the +hamstrings Fully engage the stomach muscles to help buffer the load on the lumbar spine Of +course if you are picking up something heavy you should squat down and lift with the knees +Otherwise lift small loads by hip hinging +Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back +Illustration A Improper bending from the waist B Proper hinging from the hips C Proper squatting to lift +a load +The more often you can bend over by hip hinging the better shoot for times per day +Put commonly used objects such as your phone charger on the floor so that you must bend to +the ground every time you use them +Perfecting Your SitUps +Situps are the best counterpose for any work with your spine They will reset your vertebrae +from your neck to your tailbone They place the lower back into neutrality helping protect +individual muscles from the repetitive strain that comes from being out of alignment For this +reason it is constructive to perform situps after performing the other back exercises in +this chapter +A few advanced variations to try when doing situps Place a small firm pillow or situp +pad under your lower back so that near the top of the situp you have something for your +kyphotic lumbar spine to arch against and press away from This will help ensure that you are +not stuck in lordosis during the situp Straighten your legs and rest the backs of your knees +on the ground throughout the motion Flex your buttocks as you come down from each sit +up Turn your neck and look to each side +Doing situps on the floor can irritate muscles that arent used to the intense forces This is +why recommend doing situps in bed It provides outstanding remedial rehab for the entire +spine and will accentuate all your other efforts to improve your neck and lower back Every +human should take three minutes to do at least situps in bed every other day +Illustration A Situps B Massaging the iliac crests with the knuckles C Elevating the sacrum with a +basketball into an unfamiliar position for antirigidity +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Conclusion +Remember the tense cords of muscle you found with your fingers between your lower spine +and hips at the beginning of this chapter When you compress stretch and tone these +muscles you will develop a different diagnostic marker dimples Spinal experts claim that +people with a dimple just above each buttock on either side of the spine have very healthy +lower backs The dimples demarcate mobility and strength in the sacroiliac joints used the +methods in this chapter for a whole year experienced dramatic results and still lacked these +two dimples figured the experts were wrong No was wrong After two additional years of +using these methods finally developed the dimples +Over the last five years have spent at least five minutes every day reconditioning my +lower back It was chronically painful before and now there is zero pain The alignment of my +vertebrae has changed significantly Some vertebrae were far more prominent than others +they even felt crooked to the touch Yet now they all lie in a straight line used to live in fear of +the next back injury but now a back injury seems almost inconceivable After you use the +exercises in this chapter your body will unconsciously recognize that your lower back will not +fail you If you are like me once you can trust your spine to support everything you do +immense amounts of unconscious trepidation will be relieved +Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back +Chapter Bullet Points +e Portions of the lower back are rarely used so they remain in a tense state of partial +contraction This leaves them susceptible to injury and causes lower back pain +e To optimize lumbar mobility use antirigidity exercises in the lumbar region by bending +extending and flexing it in every direction +e Doing situps yoga poses Pilates toe touches trunk twists hiphinging hipswiveling +deadlifts squats and lunges will all help +e These exercises should be performed with only your bodyweight at very low intensity +with many repetitions +e Bend over and touch your toes several times per day When doing so bend from the +hip not the waist +e You can employ traction to decompress the spine by using an inversion table +stretchlying or decompressive massage +e You can unlock the lumbar spinal muscles glutes hips and the entire sacroiliac joint by +massaging the area with baseballs compressing it with your knuckles or percussing it +with tools +e Put your lower back and hips into as many unfamiliar configurations as possible Rehab +these configurations from all angles using deep breathing antilaxity and antirigidity +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnote +Gokhale E steps to a painfree back Pendo Press +Chapter Use Optimal Posture and +Antirigidity While Walking +Walking is mans best medicine Hippocrates BCE BCE +lf there is a panacea in medicine it is walking Norman Doidge b +If you place an exercise wheel in a rats cage it will use it They naturally want to move A rat +that uses a wheel is much more mentally and physically healthy than a rat caged without one +It is also more resilient to stress and will live longer regularly have to remind myself that too +have a wheel in my cage and it is the block live on Merely walking around your block a few +times each day can vastly improve your mental and physical health +Walking keeps your respiratory and cardiovascular systems strong by providing them with +a light challenge However for a rat to attain health benefits its use of a wheel must be +voluntary If the rat feels forced the exercise becomes stressful and many of the benefits +disappear So when walk dont hurry have no time limit and no particular destination to +reach For me the endorphins from a voluntary minute walk make me feel like am no +longer in a cage Those from a minute walk turn a soso day into a splendid one +Modernday huntergatherers average around miles of walking and trotting every day +Like all mammals we are designed to move Some doctors urge patients to take steps +daily which equates to about five miles and takes about an hour and a half In my opinion this +is excessive for many people especially those who co not walk regularly They quickly develop +back knee and ankle pain at this rate Instead shoot for a healthy fraction of this that is +comfortable for you You might start somewhere between and steps +While mortality rates improve progressively with the number of steps taken daily this +positive effect levels off after approximately steps three miles per day This +demonstrates that you certainly dont need to walk a full steps each day to reap the +benefits You might want to use your car or a GPS to measure the distance around your block +Once you have that distance in miles multiply it by there are around steps ina +mile to find out how many steps it takes to circle your block and then how many laps you +should shoot for to reach your desired total distance Wherever you choose to walk you should +find that after a few thousand steps you feel your bracing patterns and emotional tensions +begin to wash away +At the end of Chapter we will discuss the panoply of health benefits from regular +exercise in more detail The remainder of this chapter will discuss how to get the most out of +your walks It will coach you to walk assertively with impeccable posture while employing anti +rigidity and taking appropriate breaks and counterposes Basically it details how you can turn +your walks into time spent putting Program Peace into practice +Use Good Posture While Walking in Public +Whenever we encounter someone the first impulse is to query friend or foe Unconscious +circuits in the brain work to decide Are they going to attack me Are they easily provoked +Are they analyzing me waiting for me to submit before they decide whether to be hostile +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Then we try to determine if they did have ill intentions would they have the power to enact +them In other words we size them up to see which one of us would prevail in a physical +altercation Often regardless of whether we think we could win we let our posture cave in +Dont do any of these things The inclination to size up others turns our world into a hostile +place from the inside out However we do want to be aware of how others size us up +Psychologists criminologists and law enforcement personnel agree that walking like a +victim increases the likelihood of being mugged or assaulted They recommend that we walk +with a purpose Studies have shown that criminals can identify people with histories of +victimization by their gait They walk like an easy target asynchronously timidly with short +strides Depressed people also have a characteristic way of walking They exhibit reductions in +walking speed stride length vertical head movement and arm movement at the shoulder and +elbow When you walk do the exact opposite +People who walk like despondent prey are advertising their victimization so others can see +that they dont want to compete They are communicating that they will give in to a bully +But the same selfhandicapping that will repel a competitor will attract a predator There is a +fundamental tradeoff to submissive posture and that is being ripe for predation This is why +the best way to carry yourself is to use the optimal postures described in the preceding +chapters without a hint of either competitiveness or vulnerability +Your neck should be straight with your chin tucked in toward your throat Your shoulders +should be pressed down and back Your eyes should be wide and looking upward Your face +and your entire body should be relaxed You should be breathing smooth slow long deep +breaths through your nose This combination of comfort and confidence should help you see +the strangers you encounter on your walks as compatriots and allies A zygomatic smile and a +cordial salute can help them see you in the same way +Walk spryly with nonchalant control and balance Expand yourself In becoming more +expansive channel a peacock fanning its tail feathers a cat galloping sideways or a baboon +romping through foliage Feel the animal strength in your body Extend your neck and roll your +shoulders back so that you can openly display your chest This gives a signal to others that you +are not afraid of being attacked Hands placed near the hips show readiness for action hands +behind the back signify confidence Head erect and neck retracted demonstrate the posture of +a military general an elite athlete or royalty Think imperial dignifiedregal Visualize yourself +emanating gravitas and a commanding presence Good posture leads others to assume that you +must have much to be confident about and they will accept what you project +Huntergatherers have been documented to steal meat from lions by merely walking up to +them and taking it How you ask They walk with purpose They wait until a lion kills a +wildebeest Then as few as three humans will approach a pride of as many as one dozen hungry +beasts They walk directly toward the lions from a distance without a hint of hesitation One by +one the lions buy into the illusion grow wary and flee the site Walking while projecting +assertion intention and mettle is incredibly powerful and acts as a selffulfilling prophecy +As You Walk Own the Space Around You +It is common to see a monkey feeding peacefully in one spot but then depart suddenly when +approached by another monkey who promptly claims the spot Behavioral biologists have a +word for when one animal makes another animal move It is called displacement It happens +Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking +when a subordinate animal uses its knowledge of the hierarchy to determine that a +confrontation should be avoided It allows the other animal to evict it from the physical space it +was occupying Preferred spaces can involve food like a prime spot of grass They can involve +mates like a spot closer to a fertile female Sometimes animals are forced to move from +unremarkable spaces where they happen to be Dont allow anyone to evict you from where +you happen to be +This is not a call to be impolite Be thoughtful when passing people share space +open doors move over to accommodate couples or to make room for children families or the +elderly However dont displace yourself to appease an imposing person any more than you +would for someone who wasnt Hold your ground and expect them to move out of the way as +much as you do When walking own your immediate space as well as your entire forward +trajectory through space It may feel like you are flouting social customs but remember that +you are not doing anything illegal You are doing invaluable internal work increasing the +boundaries of your comfort zone When you inevitably bump into someone be firm but +amiable about it +Many people have told me that my cat is the calmest they have ever seen This may be +because am calm around him treat him like a friend and pet him firmly fluidly and slowly +But think the main reason for his composure is that respect his space make an effort not to +step over him or walk so close to him that he fears being trampled give him authority over his +immediate area which provides him a shield of certainty and control Take this shield for +yourself wherever you go Feel complete ownership of the space around you Wherever you +are is your territory because you are in it +Walk with Exaggerated Posture +When first went out on long walks exaggerating my posture and standing tall could tell that +other pedestrians questioned my motives looking suspicious or even offended Some people +seemed incensed at seeing me standing vertically and looking upwards My posture looked fake +because was forcing myself to stand straight without the healthy postural tone that should +accompany it Ironically the best way to develop this musculature is to fake it standing +straighter and taller than our body is accustomed Once the postural muscles strengthen +standing erect will look genuine and people will not question it +Walking Exercise Take A Walk with Exaggerated Posture +Take a walk in an area where you can avoid worrying about other people judging you Walk +for two minutes with greatly exaggerated posture Stand tall and straight Use the five tenets +of optimal posture as well as the antilaxity method from Chapter The contractions +involved should start to fatigue after a few minutes Once they do continue to walk but rest +your postural muscles completely for at least a minute Repeat By letting the muscles go +limp you are giving them the break they need to regenerate +Pease dont take it overboard Other pedestrians may be provoked if they can tell that +some of your nonverbals are consistent with overcompensation They may assume that you are +putting on a ruse and feel compelled to put you back in your place You want to avoid this +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +so be measured and conservative around others as you gradually transform your victim walk +into a victor walk This is also why at first chose to walk and stretch in uncrowded outdoor +places either at dusk or after dark Find a safe welllit park or boulevard where you still have +the bit of privacy you need to really swagger Strut creatively channeling the gamut of your +favorite personality types +You can work on the timing of your steps by stepping to music It is as easy as ensuring that +your foot strikes the ground on every beat Try stomping around your block with headphones +on If you let nothing but the drums determine the cadence of your footfall you will learn to +walk unhesitatingly Within two hour of cumulative practice your rhythmic flow will be +masterful You can incorporate a twostep a spin or turn and a crossstep where you are +walking sideways and one foot crosses over the other +Optimal posture only looks natural if it is clear that a person has spent a lot of time there +and has interacted with ordinary loads and forces from that position To get your optimal +posture looking authentic spend time creating these loads and forces using antirigidity +Perform Antirigidity Exercises While Walking +The majority of this books exercises can be performed while walking but the following +exercises are specifically for your walks +Many people rarely lift their arms above their head because they are afraid it will make +others uncomfortable This complete disuse results in muscle dormancy and neglect of entire +sections of the cervical and thoracic spine The first part of Exercise below involves +extending the arms directly above the head with the neck retracted If you do this while +employing the antirigidity method from Chapter for three cumulative hours you will find +that your cervical spine is completely resituated You will also invalidate any fears or +reservations about lifting your arms in public The following exercises offer similar postures that +you can employ antirigidity within You might take light weights eg one to five pounds with +you to accentuate the forces at play +Walking Exercise Neck Antirigidity While Walking +Walk for one minute in each of the following configurations while using the antirigidity +protocol +Raise the hands and arms directly above the head for a few minutes at a time with the +neck retracted You can hold your hands straight up or slightly outward making a V +for victory Search for the achiest configurations and contract your way into them +Hug yourself Try to grab your shoulder blades with your fingertips as you inch you +fingers toward your spine Do so while varying the retraction of your neck and the +position of your shoulders rooting around for anything that will lead to a crack +Arch the chest inward as far as it will go Again this is called thoracic kyphosis in the +medical world and a hollow in the gymnastics world Hugging yourself should give +you an idea of how to do this Next do the opposite and arch the chest outward +Then do it laterally to each side +Clasp the hands together in front of you and form the same inward chest arch or +kyphotic hollow from Extend the arms as far forward as they will go and press +Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking +them together so that you can contract into dormant muscles along the collar bone +and shoulder girdle +Place one hand in the air and the other at your waist Reach as high as you can with +the hand in the air and as low as you can with your hand at your waist Pivot around +in this position hunting for frailty to flex within Switch arms and repeat +Stand straight with the elbows bent As you press them toward the ground make +small circles with the elbows as if you were flapping chicken wings Scour for frailty in +the area between your neck and shoulder blades +Walk with your hands out to the side at degrees making a t with your body Try +to bring different aspects of your shoulder blade muscles to fatigue +Walk with your hands clasped behind your back and play with how this changes the +forces between your shoulder blades +IMlustration Positions for upperbody antirigidity while walking +Refresh Your Muscles While Walking +Walking requires only a very narrow range of spinal motion The tension created by walking +within this limited range can pull a misaligned spine even further out of alignment This is why +the longer you walk the more you tend to ache Simply squatting momentarily holding a static +lunge or reaching over to touch your toes can completely relieve this by pushing major muscles +through their full range This is why highly recommend that you do each of these things after +every halfmile that you cover +When you need a break from walking Stop and crouch down into a low squat +Straighten your back and flex your ankles knees hips and spine Then stand and place your +fists on your lower back with your elbows at degrees pointed behind you You can then +bend backwards in this position pressing your fists into your mid and lower back for five to +seconds to achieve a full back extension +Next use a full back flexion as a counterpose Slowly bend forward to touch your toes To +make this easier you can support your descent by placing your hands on your upper thighs and +sliding your hands over your knees down the shins and toward the feet Stop for a moment in +forward fold and then raise up the way that you went in +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +RATT +Illustration Antirigidity poses to use while taking a break from walking +To make these forward bends harder you can cradle your head in your hands as pictured +below and press it toward the ground to engage your neck extensors This will intensify the +active forces in your neck and lower back For another variation try this with your legs spread +two to three feet apart or try it with one leg two to three feet in front of the other think +everyone should be doing of these every day +i PEPE +Illustration Antirigidity routine for the neck and shoulders +Bent Over Walking Will Tap Into Your Lower Back Pain +There is one particular lumbar position that will reach into the core of your lower back frailty +Maintaining this position while walking will allow you to tap into it so that you can work out the +kinks To assume the position bend over from the waist not the hips and enter lumbar +kyphosis shrimp back where you curl your hips upwards and inwards toward your face +While you do this try to keep your glutes contracted Clasping your hands behind your back can +help provide support and balance Then keep this configuration and start walking taking small +tempered steps As long as you ensure that you remain in lumbar kyphosis you will engage +many dormant muscles anchored in the sacrum and ilium +Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking +This will make you feel like a very old person because of the way you are hunched over and +because of the intensely brittle feeling in your lower back as you plant each foot For safetys +sake this bentover walking should be done very carefully and just a little at a time at first +As you rehab this configuration you can become more ambitious by bending over further and +funneling more power into each stride It is risky because you can easily pull a muscle +However if you are careful it is a vigorous form of rehab that can help you reclaim the lumbar +mobility of your early childhood and reinstitute an entire mode of locomotion +Illustration Antirigidity routine to engage dormant lower back muscles +Experiment with walking using both extreme lumbar kyphosis and lordosis This can also be +done on a stair climber treadmill or elliptical machine at a lowspeed setting Carefully curl +your lumbar spine either backward or forward while on the machine as if you were performing +a cow or cat pose As your legs move and your weight is redistributed you will be tugging at +various partially contracted muscles Proceed slowly and carefully breathing through the pinch +you find during each cycle +Keep Your Feet Straight and Vary the Way You Use Them to Walk +We take every step in almost the same repetitive manner with minimal movement variation +at the foot ankle or knee We do this despite the incredible potential for mobility contained +within the thirtytwo joints fiftysix ligaments and thirtyeight muscles of our feet +Unfortunately many of these are largely immobile in most people The best way to reengage +the dormant muscles in your feet and legs is to spend a few minutes a day walking within +various positions as in the exercise below +Walking Exercise Vary the Placement of Your Feet +Strengthening each of the following stepping patterns will help your body find a happy +balance and the most efficient walking configuration Training them will build uncommon +mobility strength and coordination To do this walk for one minute in each of the +following ways +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Walk with more weight on the outer edge of your feet supination +Walk with your weight on the inside edge of your feet pronation +Walk with your feet more than shoulder length apart Each step should land out to +the side You can even try walking with your feet as many as three feet apart +Walk with your feet less than shoulder length apart Each step should land close to +the center of your body like walking a tightrope Consider crossing your feet +such that your left foot lands to the right of center and vice versa +Walk with your weight on your heels +Walk with your weight on the ball of the foot digging them into the ground +Walk with your feet turned out toward degrees lateral rotation +Walk with your feet turned in toward degrees medial rotation +March like a soldier by raising your knee higher than usual above the ground during +each step +Walk backwards +While walking your feet should face directly forward My feet used to be dramatically +turned out was able to fix this completely after only two weeks of walking a couple of minutes +a day while concentrating mindfully to ensure that my feet remained straight think you may +also be surprised by how just paying attention to it fixes this problem To strengthen both +tendencies you can use and above walking briefly with the toes turned out and then +turning in As when backbends are followed by forward bends gently training the extremes will +help the body find the ideal midline +You might also consider getting orthotic insoles prescribed for your shoes You can get a +prescription from a podiatrist or get fitted at your local drug store Insoles are commonly +used to support feet that have been worn out of shape by a walking style that favors one of +the above patterns to the exclusion of the others Wear these archsupporting inserts less +than half the time Again you will strengthen and crosstrain your feet by exposing them to +both conditions +Practice Glidewalking +Every step we take is supposed to be powered by a forceful gluteal contraction but most of us +have learned to walk without activating the glutes at all Adding a gluteal contraction at the end +of each step is known as glidewalking To practice this you want to take long strides with a +straight back leg that thrusts you forward due to the extension occurring at the buttock +To ensure that this happens place your hands inside your pants just above your back pockets +Cover the top half of each of your glutes with your fingers Walk so that you feel the top of each +glute contract firmly with every step After a few months of sporadically reminding yourself to +train this you will put your hand on your glute while walking and feel it ball up vigorously Over +time your glutes will become toned and brawny and will add stability and power to your stride +The same goes for the calves most people have engineered a firm calf contraction out of +their step Pushing off the ground with the calf muscles of the back leg will challenge and +develop them The heel should make contact with the ground first Then you should roll +forward across the length of the foot to the toes As this happens the ankle should pass +Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking +through much of its full range of motion The calf should be fully extended as you push the +ground away with the ball of your foot Even the toes should contribute to this push +contracting slightly at the end of each step to help propel you forward When the toes and calf +contract the glute should contract at the same time +FF +YA +Illustration Depiction of glidewalking +Arm swing is another essential biomechanical component of efficient walking People +reduce arm swing to display subordination but you should swing your arms blithely whenever +you are walking As you do it ensure that your shoulders are pressed toward the floor These +elements of proper walking take time to develop but once they are automatic they will help +you burn calories and build muscle +Pay special attention to the way you kick your foot forward with each step Rather than +being smooth and graceful it is likely a violent jerk This is a major cause of knee pain You can +address it by consciously attending to the jarring motion and making an effort to transform it +into a gentle velvety one Strolling very slowly helps build the coordination needed As in tai +chi slow everything down and pay attention to the fluidity of each movement You are going to +look weird walking around your block in slow motion instituting these exercises Getting +yourself to stop worrying about how others will perceive you will be an accomplishment +in itself +Your routines eg walking cannot be efficient unless their component subroutines +eg extending the ankle knee and hip are optimal themselves You might feel uncoordinated +when you start to slow things down and focus on the individual parts of each action Thats +totally normal You have thousands of steps to take every day likely for the rest of your life +so you want to reengineer them to be as efficient as possible Relearn how to complete the +smallest motor movements in ways that dont use anxiety for propulsion Insteadglide +This goes for writing speaking typing opening a door handing an object to someone +and everything else imaginable +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Conserve Your Momentum While Walking +Whenever you are walking you should be taking full advantage of your bodys forward energy +Most people walk without conserving their momentum They break the inertia they have going +with each indecisive stride Poorly timed foot falls eat up their speed slow them down +and create a bumpy ride Take some time to analyze how you lose momentum in your default +walking pattern +Each foot plant should not be a collision but rather a brief foothold to push off against +Rolling down your foot from heel to toes will help with this Also use the proprioceptive +sensors throughout your knees and ankles to help you determine how much momentum from +the last step can be reused in the next surefooted step Placing your foot too far in front of the +body known as overstriding is one of the most common mistakes people make when walking +It breaks up your glide Understriding is also common So pay careful attention to the fluidity +created by stride length and try to optimize it +Dont second guess a single step Conserving your momentum will turn your stride into a +buoyant saunter and override any hesitancies deriving from submissive signaling Done right +you should feel like a freight train Allay any worries that people will think that you are walking +in an aggressive angry way It is not angry at all It is merely efficient +Dont hobble Coast Set sail on your own momentum and ride like the wind +Conclusion +Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet Thich Nhat Hanh +It is worth mentioning that there are many ways to multitask while walking Walking with other +people is a great way to bond You can help each other to develop mutually assertive outof +doors powerwalking body language Instead of taking your phone calls in bed or on the couch +take them as you parade around your neighborhood A headset with a microphone or a +Bluetooth earphone can make this easier You can also turn your time walking into an +opportunity for learning if you decide to listen to audiobooks using headphones Additionally +you can use the act of walking to create a breathing metronome For instance often inhale +for five steps and then exhale for eight Otherwise walking can be an opportune time to take +in nature meditate live in the moment practice mindfulness and create a new +improved persona +Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking +Chapter Bullet Points +e Walking is highly health promoting +e Maintain the five tenets of optimal posture while walking +e Strut and swagger while you walk to build confidence +e Walk with exaggerated soliderlike posture for two minutes until the muscles involved +reach a healthy fatigue Then allow the muscles at least a minute to rest completely +before repeating +e Perform upperbody antirigidity while you walk by moving your arms shoulders and +back through different unfamiliar configurations +e Walking regularly with your hands in the air and the neck retracted will help put your +cervical and thoracic spine into optimal configuration +When you walk for prolonged periods take breaks to allow your muscles to regenerate +When you break from walking refresh your muscles by squatting lunging and touching +your toes This will bring fresh blood to spinal sections that have become stale +e Practice glidewalking where the glute calf and toes of the back leg are fully deployed +with every step +e Walk with both feet pointing straight ahead +e Capture the remaining momentum from each stride so that it can be applied to +the next +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Lee M Shiroma E J Kamada M Association of step volume and intensity +with allcause mortality in older women JAMA Internal Medicine +Ritchiea M B Blais J Forth A Evil intentions Examining the relationship +between the Dark Tetrad and victim selection based on nonverbal gait cues Personality and +Individual Differences +Michalak J Troje N F Fischer J Vollmar P Heidenreich T Schulte D +Embodiment of sadness and depression Gait patterns associated with dysphoric mood +Psychosomatic Medicine +Van Edwards V Captivate The science of succeeding with people +Penguin Random House +Gokhale E Steps to a painfree back Pendo Press +Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior +The desire for sexual expression is inborn and natural The desire cannot and should not be submerged +or eliminated But it should be given an outlet through forms of expression which enrich the body mind +and spirit Napoleon Hill +Sexual Competition and Submission +Aside from humans chimpanzees are often considered the most violent and abusive species +on the planet despite competing for just one resource Ordinarily they do not compete for +food because the fruit and leaves they forage are evenly scattered They compete for sex +and the competition is often violent In most primates dominant males restrict sexual access +to females Nondominant males are thus forced to inhibit their sexuality They are usually +attacked if seen approaching a female for sex and are often forced to either be sneaky or +abstain from sex completely Many primate females are similarly traumatized by sexual +competition +Access to sex is determined by rank in many animals that live in groups This inevitably +leads to stress Status probably also dictated sexual privileges to varying degrees throughout +human history Because our instincts were wired in the past even in modern humans this age +old competition leads to unconscious sexual selfhandicapping By employing the same +rationale and some of the same tools we have discussed thus far this chapter will explain how +to detraumatize your sexuality and pull your genitals out of this melee +Sexual Subordination in Animals +The sexual subordination response isnt just found in primates or mammals There are many +examples in the animal kingdom from vertebrates to invertebrates of dominant individuals +causing the atrophy of reproductive organs in subordinates For example the resident queens +in honeybees termites cockroaches and many other species suppress the ovaries of their +workers In animals from insects to fish the less dominant males create fewer sperm that move +slower If given the opportunity to become dominant many fish can reverse this by increasing +the size of their testes and the count and motility of their sperm in as little as a few days +In mammals especially primates alpha individuals from both genders attempt to +monopolize breeding through intimidation This causes a dramatic decrease in sex hormones in +their targets Chronic intimidation can be so stressful that it impairs subordinates fertility +suppressing the testicular axis in males and halting ovulation in females This is often called +social suppression of reproduction or social contraception There is an entire body of +literature on how conflict in primates creates reproductive disadvantages for the losers +In many monkey species the biggest losers are completely celibate It is common for +dominant males to attack or physically displace a subordinate male in the middle of copulation +preventing them from ejaculating The resulting brain and hormone changes decrease the +quantity and quality of the displaced males sperm Likewise repeated conflict with a dominant +female can cause subordinate females to lose the ability to conceive There is every reason to +believe that similar coercion and physical repercussions are commonplace in human society +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Indeed human infertility and sexual dysfunction are both known by medical researchers to be +highly exacerbated by the stress hormone cortisol +Chronically elevated cortisol levels can cause loss of libido and impotence in men mostly by +inhibiting the production of testosterone In women it can cause severe fertility problems and +result in an abnormal menstrual cycle This antagonism between the cortisol and testosterone +hormonal axes is thought to be adaptive because in emergency situations engaging in behaviors +that are encouraged by testosterone such as mating competition and dominance is +unnecessary and possibly counterproductive +If you put a mouse in a cage with a more dominant mouse its testosterone and fertility will +decline significantly Similarly if you spend time believing that you are inferior or inadequate +your virility will drop We must avoid sexual bullying and stop ourselves from thinking sexually +selfsubordinating thoughts Fortunately the effects of cortisol on testosterone in both men +and women are reversed when the stress goes back down +You dont want your body to assume you are a pathetic monkey trying to sneak copulations +in hiding So you need to send it the right messages You want to develop a mindset of sexual +dominance and disinhibition affirming that you can achieve arousal at any time have sex +anywhere and be in your sexual comfort zone under any social conditionsas long as it is +ethical and legal of course This starts with slowing everything else down and making your +sexual response a priority Just as subordination causes us to ignore our shallow breathing and +protracted neck it also causes us to ignore both the tension and the pleasure in our genitals +The best way to counteract this is to learn to listen to your genitals +Sexual Exercise Listen to the Sensations Coming from Your Genitals +Your genitals are continuously sending you sensory signals about their current state of +arousal Most of us ignore this steady influx of cues leaving us out of tune with our sexuality +Sexual suppression and submission have turned our erogenous zones into blind spots Feeling +good down there is not a sin not a luxury and not something you have to earn It is your +basic right as a mammal and an integral part of dealing with stress If you want to cultivate +your sexual response you must pay attention to any and all pleasurable sensations coming +from in between your legs +Close your eyes and spend five minutes meditating on this area Focus on it completely like +you are watching a movie At first you may not sense much but with time and patience +you will begin to notice faint instances of erogenous squirming and pulsating Indulge them +Learn to revel in them Doing this will help prove to your body that you are a lusty beast +unencumbered by sexual trauma With time practice and the use of the other exercises in +this chapter infrequent tingles and quivers will turn into a steady stream of notsosubtle +heaving and throbbing Monitor your breath while you do this and imagine breathing +straight into your genitals This will help you develop the laser focus necessary to become +reacquainted with the full extent of your aphrodisia +Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior +One of the best ways to improve your awareness of sexual sensations is to stop bracing the +muscles involved This is simply because if they are constantly strained they cannot respond +actively to sexual stimuli There is no throbbing in dormant muscle +Stop Bracing the Muscles Surrounding Your Genitals +Hip or pelvic tension can be a conscious or unconscious attempt to downplay the potency of +the genital region and is yet another form of submissive body language Over time the +formation of dormant muscle leads to withered libido lessened enjoyment of sex and sexual +dysfunction There are other sources of pelvic bracing Falling on the bottom bruising the +tailbone long hours sitting at a desk or a bicycle seat and all types of physical trauma can lead +to tension the area +Pelvic bracing is linked to medical disorders Vaginismus is the involuntary contraction of +muscles that surround the vagina The tight muscles make penetration and intercourse painful +for women with this disorder Bracing may also make it harder for some women to orgasm +For a woman to climax the muscles of her pelvic floor cannot be taut They must relax during +sexual stimulation so that they can contract rhythmically during orgasm Many researchers +believe that various sexual disorders such as male impotence latency to female orgasm and +vulvodynia chronic vulvar pain can be due to excessive bracing of muscles adjacent to the +sexual organs This seems even more likely when you consider that common preceding events +for these disorders include sexual assault rape domestic abuse sexual humiliation chronic +pain and generalized anxiety +It is well known that the blood vessels surrounding the external genitalia constrict during +sympathetic stimulation and dilate upon parasympathetic stimulation This means that blood +flow to the penis clitoris and vulva is impeded by stress and accentuated by relaxation In fact +the pelvic floor is one of the most reactive groups of muscles during startle When it contracts it +results in a retraction of the clitoris for women and the penis for men Relaxation of the +anococcygeal area is thought to be key in improving the sexual arousal response As a matter of +fact engorgement of the penis clitoris and labia results from the relaxation of smooth muscle +In other words blood doesnt flow until these unconsciously regulated muscles loosen up +Sexual Activity Brace and Debrace Your Pelvic Muscles +How do stress and intimidation affect the bracing of the muscles around your genitals Most +people could not answer this because they have little to no awareness of this common +reaction Lets try bracing them to see how it feels Tighten the muscles in your lower back +Tilt your hips to one side and brace them Squeeze your legs together Tighten your urinary +sphincter as if you were trying to stop yourself from peeing Now contract all these muscles +and anything else local you can find at of their maximum strength After seconds +let go entirely and register what it feels like to let the bracing here subside Repeat this +contraction and relaxation four more times +We signal sexual submission by straining sexrelated muscles in the abdomen and pelvis +These muscles lose their healthy tone after sexual trauma or feelings of sexual inferiority +Thankfully like all muscles you can rehabilitate them Most people have an untapped reservoir +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +of muscle in the groin that has atrophied The next two sections will show you how to exercise +and strengthen it believe proper tone in these muscles allows the genitals increased vascular +blood flow vasocongestion increases the prominence of arousal and heightens the +accompanying sensations +Exercise Your Urine Retentive Muscles +You have numerous muscles situated between your sitz bones pubic bone and coccyx These +muscles support the pelvic organs contract during orgasm aid in childbirth and ejaculation +and provide core stability +Abdominal +Muscle +Rectum +Coccyx Pubic Bone +Bladder +Urethra +Anus +Pelvic Floor Vagina +Muscles +Illustration A Side view of female reproductive anatomy Note the location of the pelvic floor muscles +stretching from the pubic bone to the tail bone coccyx B Frontal view of the pelvic floor musculature which is +similar in women and men Several pelvic muscles are depicted including the ischiocavernosus bulbospongiosus +coccygeus pubococcygeus the urogenital diaphragm and others +In the s Dr Arnold Kegel taught people how to strengthen the perineum the area +between the anus and the genitals He knew that these muscles are often injured in women +during childbirth and he instructed women how to contract them reinstating their strength +in an exercise that came to be known as Kegels Doctors have prescribed Kegels for many +reasons including treating urinary incontinence ameliorating erectile dysfunction and +controlling premature ejaculation Kegels are taught by having the patient repeatedly interrupt +their urinary flow Dr Kegel recommended urinating a spoonful at a time Try this in the +activity below +Sexual Activity Contracting the Urinary Sphincter +The next time you find yourself peeing stop urinating midstream Once you can stop the flow +completely you have found the right muscles Try urinating for only a second at a time until +you have voided your bladder Focus on tightening only the pelvic floor muscles keeping the +abdomen thighs anus and buttocks relaxed This will allow you to isolate the contraction +Doing this several times will help you identify the muscles and gain conscious control of +them At that point you should do this exercise without urinating and from any position +you want +Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior +Most of us learned to brace the Kegel muscles intensely as young children when +holding it for long periods to avoid the embarrassing experience of urinating in public +Can you remember an incident in which this muscle was likely traumatized by being braced +heavily during the traumatic scenario of trying desperately to find a bathroom as a child +Not only do the muscles surrounding the genitals seize up in these scenarios but distressed +breathing predominates making the strain worse Most people have a strong tendency to hold +their breath when performing Kegels and of course this defeats the purpose Therefore +recommend pairing Kegels with paced breathing +Sexual Exercise Diaphragmatic Kegels +Perform hard Kegel contractions as if you were interrupting the stream of urine Do this while +paced breathing This will build your capacity to activate the pelvic floor muscles without +holding your breath Hold a forceful contraction during a second passive exhalation and +then relax for a few breaths Do this times in a row You might also try performing rapid +Kegels ie one to three per second for a minute +These muscles contract involuntarily during arousal and orgasm So loosening them up and +developing their responsivity may enliven your sex life Also after developing the muscular +strength that comes from pelvic floor exercises men can perform a Kegel at orgasm to +withhold ejaculation effectively allowing them to experience multiple orgasms also believe +that strengthening and unbracing these muscles can facilitate female ejaculation and +squirting +The next section will provide you with an exercise that will dilate these areas rather than +constrict them In a previous chapter we learned how important it is to perform forward bends +after backward bends to neutralize the spine believe that performing Kegels without +exercising the antagonist muscles leads to similar imbalances For example there is evidence +that performing Kegels can lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder and this is a risk factor +for urinary tract infection and other maladies As you might have guessed the counterpose for +a Kegel is complete bladder emptying +Exercise the Muscles that Expel Urine +Interestingly the Kegel contraction is braced involuntarily during social competition +Kegels result in a retraction of the clitoris penis and testicles potentially making them less +conspicuous to a competitor believe that in this they are submissive and intended to hide +the genitalia It is like the sea slug withdrawing its gill or the snail withdrawing its eyestalk +Male monkeys and apes are frequently observed hiding their erections from other males +especially from males above them in the hierarchy They dont want to be attacked for being +aroused This is why think genital retraction due to chronic Kegel contraction is an innate +defense mechanism protecting subordinates from sexually dominant individuals It is yet +another display equivalent to a collapsed posture believe that losing tone and developing +partial contraction in the pelvic region is a selfhandicapping mechanism that assumes +advertising ones level of sexual arousal is dangerous +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +If you have balanced tone in your pelvic muscles your flaccid penis or clitoris will increase +and decrease in size with your arousal level If you have strain or poor tone the flaccid organ +may remain at its smallest possible size until full arousal is reached Most people are aware that +the penis and clitoris shrink in size when exposed to cold In fact penile length decreases by up +to in the defensive response to low temperature believe men with a history of chronic +intimidation and sexual subordination are more likely to exhibit this kind of shrinkage when +flaccid This likely corresponds to the grower vs shower dichotomy referenced in popular +culture The growers may be men with a more extensive history of being sexually intimidated +This may be reversible by performing the opposite of the Kegel +It is easy for both women and men to pinpoint the muscles that expel urine They speed up +the stream These muscles include the lower abdominal muscles and the bladder detrusor +muscle They aid in the expulsion of urine by increasing the pressure applied to the bladder +wall The stream of urine will cease when the bladder has been voided but the muscles +themselves can still be contracted If you continue to squeeze the expulsive muscles very firmly +after you finish urinating you will realize you can flex these muscles through their full range +Most people never use this full range creating a missing corner of dormant muscle +Thus it is also a reservoir that you can tap into and rehab Think of the exercise as an +antikegel As we have seen in previous chapters sometimes the only way to free muscles +from partial contraction is through hard full contractions +Sexual Exercise Contract the Expulsive Muscles +The next time you urinate try to expel the urine more forcefully than usual Steadily increase +the force as you empty your bladder As it nears empty do not let up Instead squeeze the +related muscles hard even after the stream stops Notice the posture that your lower back +and lower abdomen have taken on and remember the feeling of contracting this muscle so +that you can do it later After you have emptied your bladder continue to squeeze the +muscle at to maximum force for an additional seconds It may ache tenderly +but performing this exercise each time you urinate will make this aching disappear within a +matter of days +Start practicing it away from the toilet as well You should feel comfortable performing the +Kegel and antiKegel contractions in the presence of others There is no reason to brace or +selflimit your pelvic range just because other people are around To really stimulate these +erogenous areas and all the tissues and blood vessels involved you can also try gently +performing Kegels and antiKegels while you have an erection whether clitoral or penile +Together these exercises will help put an end to neurotic pelvic flinching and straining +Urine Expulsion as a Posture and Mindset +You want to incorporate proper tone in these urineexpelling muscles into your daily standing +walking and sitting postures The muscles involved include the lower abdominals so imagine +being able to take a small punch to the lowest segment of your abs at any time This means you +need to practice walking around with your lower abs engaged as if you were peeing want to +Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior +encourage you to walk jog exercise and socialize as if you are dribbling urine everywhere +you go +Listen intently to the sensations involved It should feel pleasurable Imagine spurting +rainbows and gushing warm velvet from your urethra onto everything in front of you +Experience everything orgasmically This should be happening as you look at yourself in the +mirror as you walk around the block and as you squeeze in that last repetition while +exercising Imagine that your genitals are permanently everted rather than inverted As you +strengthen the retentive and expulsive muscles muscle memory will develop and they +will come to hold balanced tone automatically believe this is highly beneficial for +psychosexual health +suppressed these muscles during my lifetime through acquiescent selfhandicapping +behavior have always been averse to dirty jokes and overt sex play which may have led to +less sexualized perineal posture growing up believe that unconsciously allowed my Kegel +muscles to strain and my expulsive muscles to atrophy because was sexually repressive and +analretentive Again the expulsive urinary and anal sphincter muscles work antagonistically +with the retentive muscles meaning that expulsive qualities may be especially weak in +retentive people If you think that you may be analretentive you are probably also urinary +retentive While we are talking about poop please ask yourself whether combining distressed +breathing while straining on the toilet seat during defecation may have traumatized your anal +muscles If so you might consider using paced breathing while defecating when constipated +and while contracting the anal retentive and expulsive muscles +Strengthening the muscles involved in expelling urine will make your behavior more +assertive Activity and tone in this area are associated with approach and the seizing of +opportunities that are both sexual and nonsexual in nature It is difficult to maintain a +dominant selfassured demeanor if the tone in the expulsive muscles is low You have probably +noticed that worry or sudden fear makes your retentive muscles tense and the expulsive ones +limp Similarly encountering something sharp or experiencing fear of heights does this as well +For example peering over the ledge from the Sth floor of a parking structure can make your +whole pelvis seize up This happens immediately and involuntarily during startle and fright +Your pelvic floor recoils from threat +When you take an ego blow or get upset or flustered the muscles that expel urine similarly +drop out of flexion If your machismo is questioned but you have the gumption to reassert +yourself you might notice the activity waiver and come back Activity here shrivels up when +people get their balls busted For many depressed and anxious people these muscles drop +out of tonicity during social encounters For sexually assertive people the expulsive +musculature develops a stronger tone when around others they find attractive For sexually +withdrawn people the tone may actually decrease in these situations Losing tone and +accumulating strain in these muscles leads to emasculation andor defeminization +When first started to engage the muscles that expel urine would become afraid of +upsetting the bully introduced in Chapter realized that was afraid to engage the muscles +even when he was not around When tried thoughts visuals and a feeling of being in the +bullys presence would intrude into my mind unconsciously It took me some time to realize +that was bracing these muscles in a restricted range out of fear of offending the bully +This bully was muscular highly charismatic a felon and a murderer On one occasion had +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +seen him continue to make fun of and laugh at someone even after that person pulled a gun on +him As many bullies do he would frequently tell sexually explicit stories describing his sexual +prowess in attempts to intimidate other men This is one of the fundamental forms that sexual +toxicity takes +The man had acquired pseudopsychopathy meaning he had developed criminal +antisocial and hypersexual personality traits after severe brain trauma He was catastrophically +disinhibited after being fully ejected headfirst through the windshields of two cars he stole on +separate occasions was subverting my sexuality in an attempt to appease this man Simply +becoming explicitly aware of this subversion was enough to end it After bringing peace to this +context realized that there were additional contexts that caused me to brace my genital +musculature What contexts of intimidation sting you in the genitals and keep you stuck ina +partially contracted Kegel Dont let anyone keep you in a retentive state in which the genitals +are retracted or keep you from contracting your expulsive muscles Rather than being held taut +in a restricted range these muscles should fluctuate naturally between the two extremes of +retention and expulsion as you go about your day +Once you become comfortable fully contracting the muscles that withhold and expel urine +you should notice them quiver involuntarily more frequently Toning the muscles and stretching +them out of partial contraction will increase the range of motion of your orgasms You may also +notice that you experience increased blood flow and heightened turgidity in your genitals This +suggests to me that formal physical therapy centered around exercising these muscles could +treat both diminished sex drive and erectile dysfunction However most medical experts on the +topic assume that these muscles operate autonomously and neednt be exercised +This medical opinion is at odds with Ayurvedic medicine and tantric Hinduism which +recognize the base of the spine as a chakra It is called muladhara the root chakra and +kundalini yoga emphasizes that it must be used and meditated upon Additionally some +Japanese Zen meditation practices emphasize the lower abdominal area dantian or tanden as +a focal point for meditation believe the exercises in this chapter can guide you to exert +control over and rehabilitate these foci +At one point realized lacked the coordination to contract my urinary expulsive muscles +and gluteus muscles simultaneously When tried held my breath Many people have this +functional dissociation When these are dissociated you are limited to either doing one or the +other However it is easy to fix Proper core stability demands that you be able to contract +these muscles together actively Everyone should teach their body to activate both the urinary +and fecal expulsive muscles while simultaneously contracting their buttocks +Sexual Activity Pairing Expulsive Tone with Gluteal Tone +Stand with optimal posture as described in Chapter With your feet parallel and the top +of your hips rolled backward contract the gluteus muscles Now contract either your urinary +or fecal expulsive muscles as if you were trying to pee or defecate Now try all three together +Spend time in this zone varying these contractions to different degrees while engaging in +calm paced breathing +Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior +As with many other examples in the Program Peace system if holding two dominant +displays simultaneously is uncomfortable or difficult they likely inhibit each other However +if you can calmly practice them together you disinhibit them and increase the probability they +will arise together on their own +Walk Confidently as if Your Genitals Were on Display +In Chapter we discussed how submissive animals minimize the appearance of physical assets +like horns claws and muscles This includes the genitals Your everyday posture and +mannerisms reveal cues to others as to how comfortable you are naked Body language evolved +during our history as unclothed apes so even clothed we often act as if we were naked Most +people conceal their genitals during times of insecurity with their hands legs chairs or tables +When a dominant person makes a power play it is quite common for other people of the same +sex to place their hands in front of their sex organs The only time you should conceal or protect +the genitals is to block a physical blow to the groin +Most people walk in a way that hides or apologizes for their genitalia Walking like this +involves hunching or crouching of the lower back Remember the lumbar lordosis and anterior +pelvic tilt discussed in previous chapters We actually use these to withdraw our private parts +from view They obscure the genitals like a dog hiding its tail between its legs You should do +the exact opposite This means walking around with the back and hips open as if presenting the +genitalia To do this flex your buttocks Thats right gluteal contraction puts your genitals on +display by pressing your hips forward and rolling the top of your pelvis back as discussed in +Chapter It is an entirely different style of standing and walking that comes across as much +more sexually selfassured +If you can imagine being comfortably naked in social situations you will project higher +confidence The more time you spend naked the more comfortable it will become which is +why strongly recommend sleeping naked when possible If you have never slept naked you +may lose some sleep the first night because of how uncomfortable you feel But you will relax +into it within a week also recommend spending time alone in your room in the buff as +described next +Sexual Activity Spend an Hour in Your Room Naked +Make sure no one can see into your room and you wont be disturbed Lock the door +Completely disrobe Place towels underneath you if uncomfortable sitting on the floor naked +Spend a full hour reading watching TV meditating whatever you want completely naked It +can help to have a mirror in front of you Use optimal posture Once you become +comfortable try talking on the phone How do you hold your body when completely nude +Do you tend to cover up or hide your genitalia Is your posture retentive or expulsive Notice +these tendencies change as you become comfortable Experiment with pushing your pelvis +out contracting your glutes and spreading your legs in different ways If performed with +paced breathing this activity will transform your relationship with your birthday suit +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Masturbation Trauma +Most of us were petitioned by our parents at a very young age to stop touching our genitals in +the company of others We learned to feel bad for stimulating the area resulting in a subtle +form of trauma recommend briefly touching yourself in a sexualaffectionate way at least five +times a day This can be a graze stroke or reassuring grope Some people already do this +regularly To others it is very foreign You can do it alone or discretely in public Even a second +of selfcomforting can help decrease bracing of the pelvic floor +used to worry that frequent masturbation could cause specific forms of cancer until used +pubmedcom to look at the actual medical studies It does not There are no diseases linked to +masturbation So give yourself carte blanche to be completely selfindulgent However there +are a few important caveats to keep in mind Masturbating to pornography may desensitize you +to real people potentially leading to sexual dysfunction Also masturbating with a lubricant can +make it difficult for men to sustain an erection with a condom Also consider masturbating +while standing up to avoid losing the ability to remain aroused while standing Definitely +consider masturbating while paced breathing For some people it takes time and work merely +to reach arousal while paced breathing But the process will steel and gird your sexuality +Studies have shown that placing tiny vibrators near or on the genitals of mice can increase +sexual response interest and the production of sex hormones Studies like these suggest that +the external use of vibrators may convince the mammalian body that it resides in some kind of +maximally optimal sexual environment and may in turn elicit an optimal sexual response from it +involving changes in gene expression Keep in mind though that masturbating to orgasm with +some sex toys may make it difficult to sustain arousal during regular intercourse +The fascia and muscles nestled in the pelvis control the responsivity of sexual arousal +Massage and myofascial release are probably beneficial for these muscles however there is no +existing rubric to help people do this safely and effectively Moreover excessive pressure could +damage your sexual organs or drastically change the tone of the muscles that regulate blood +flow to them For these reasons will not describe a protocol for genital massage here If you +decide to use compressive massage on the areas between your legs recommend using only +very light pressure That being said you should also find that groin stretching and antirigidity +can be helpful in conditioning these muscles +Sexual Expressivity +The antirigidity exercises for the lumbar spine from Chapter will help free up your hips and +lower back making your sexual expressivity more sensual and enjoyable Try to incorporate +previously dormant muscles into intercourse and use them to explore new movement patterns +Use the next two activities to enhance the coordination of the muscles and joints involved +Sexual Activity Bump Your Pubis Against the Wall +Find some privacy and turn on some sexy music Stand with your feet shoulderwidth apart +and your toes touching a wall Press your pubic bone into the wall to the beat of the music +You can bump against it like a bouncing basketball or smear yourself into it with each thrust +Contract your buttocks firmly as you advance Vary the curvature of your lower back the +distance between your feet and the placement of each blow against the wall +Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior +After a few sessions you will develop the coordination to turn it into a dance You can move +each advance from left to right or from top to bottom Doing this against a door jamb can +give you the leg room you need to bend your knees and drop lower You can also try this +exercise by bumping your butt against the wall instead of your pubis Bang everything from +your pubic bone to your hips your sacrum to your sitz bones into the brick wood or plaster +Focus on rhythm timing and bravado +Good sex should provide a massage to the pubic bone and the muscles that surround it +for both partners The friction between your pubic hair and your partners should make +rhythmic crackling sounds Pubicboneonpubicbone massage increases arousal and is one of +the best ways to stimulate the clitoris Just like the muscles in our lower backs muscles that +surround the pubic bone can take the form of tense cords that form tense cords Teaching +yourself to massage them during the act of sex along with those of the other person can be +very sexually empowering +Sexual Activity Hump Your Pillows to Music +Put on some music or a music video Stack pillows on your bed to support your pelvis in +different sexual positions You can straddle these pillows kneel squat or lie on top of them +You can also fold a pillow over a couple of times to make a hard raised surface to nestle your +pubic bone up against As you explore different arrangements lean your pubic bone into the +pillows from different angles +While propped on the pillows simulate sexual thrusting grinding and gyrating movements +to the beat of the music for an entire song Experiment with reciprocal and circular thrusting +in different planes Think heaving stirring twerking screwing wiggling drilling pounding +and tapping Experiment with flair and ostentatious movements that you are normally too +inhibited to try This is your chance to have fun and attempt the different positions and +moves youve always wanted to Practice full lumbar lordosis on the upswing from there +transition gradually into full lumbar kyphosis by the end of the downswing and back again +over and over You might also look into incorporating a dance move called the body roll +See yourself as a sex machine or a sensuous captivating performance artist Create a safe +environment for you to practice and master dominant freeflowing rhythmic and +unhesitating sexual maneuvers Feel unhurried with no external pressures and no time +constraints Absorb yourself in the carnality of the experience without any fear of failure You +will quickly become more confident in your ability to deliver your pelvis fluidly +You may want to consider extending the amount of time you spend near orgasm by +deliberately delaying it This is known as edging or orgasm control Whether practiced alone +or with a partner the idea is to maintain a high degree of sexual arousal for a prolonged period +before climaxing The critical technique consists in building toward orgasm and then before it +is reached reducing the level of stimulation to retain arousal but delay the orgasm Modulating +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +the pace and pressure in this way can result in remaining near orgasm in a highly aroused state +for several minutes at a time When the decision is made to permit the orgasm to occur the +sensations involved may be amplified There is good reason to believe that extended periods +of heightened sexual arousal could lead to several benefits such as profound partner bonding +and higher concentrations of stressrelieving neurochemicals and sex hormones Obviously +this technique is the polar opposite of what a submissive monkey sneaking copulation does +Take your sweet time during sex Survey probe and investigate your sensual side because the +more you use it the less you will lose it +Conclusions +After being stuck in a lowlevel anxiety attack for years at age decided to see an +endocrinologist and have a blood panel taken The doctor said that the most apparent result +from the panel was very low testosterone Usually this problem worsens with time But over a +decade later my blood panels show that my testosterone is back in the normal range +attribute this recovery to the farreaching benefits of diaphragmatic breathing and the +Program Peace exercises especially those in this chapter +Many scientists concur that a satisfying sex life may be as important as diet and exercise in +promoting health However our culture steals our sexuality from us by making us feel sexually +incomplete Due to our infatuation with status people willingly expose themselves to things +that make them question their social standing Similarly our instincts for sexual competition +cause us to choose to expose ourselves to experiences and thoughts that question our sexual +standing For this reason marketers and modern media inundate us with content that makes us +feel sexually inferior and that anything less than human perfection is shameful This not only +makes us feel inadequate but also makes us feel like our partners are inadequate +Television advertising raunchy comedians photo doctoring on social media the ubiquity +of unrealistic pornography a lovers thoughtless criticism and the occasional sexual failure +have given all of us sexual inferiority complexes Most people feel that their sexual endowment +or bedroom proficiency doesnt measure up or that their body is not conventionally attractive +enough It is not your responsibility to brood on these things Get over any inclination you may +have to ruminate about how you compare to your partners previous lovers the times you have +been sexually embarrassed or what it was like to be cheated on These thoughts trigger our +hardwired sexual selfhandicapping response When we dwell on our shortcomings we +reinforce this response This eventually robs us of our ability to feel horny and relish erotic +experiences Sexual jealousy and worrying cause us to suppress our sex drive brace our +perineal muscles and start down an early road to sexual decline This can be enough to push +minor penile or clitoral erectile issues into fullblown sexual dysfunction Do not let this +happen to you +You have nothing NOTHING to feel bad about sexually as long as you treat your partner +with affection have good intentions and are driven to become a better lover Sex should be +hedonistic fun playful and flirtatious without hangups insecurities or selfdoubts See +yourself exuding sensuality and sex appeal View you and your partner as sexual Olympians +Follow behind them in the market or the mall staring at their butt thinking about how you love +them and lusting after their private parts as you contract those urinary expulsion muscles +Dont let anything undermine your sexuality Listen to it Own it Magnify it Celebrate it +Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior +Chapter Bullet Points +e Primates are violently sexually competitive causing all but the most dominant +individuals to become sexually submissive +e Most people have a submissive urogenital posture secondary to suboptimal responses +to sexual bullying +e Sexual submission involves pelvic floor bracing which is related to sexual dysfunction +and the regression of psychosexual development +e Pairing diaphragmatic breathing with exercising both the urinary retention and +expulsion muscles can rehabilitate your pelvic floor +e Spend time focusing on the physical sensations emanating from your genitals and touch +them in affectionate and reassuring ways to reduce bracing +e When alone spend time naked When in public pretend that you are both naked and +comfortable +e Whether you are nude or clothed flex your buttocks push your hips forward roll the +top of your pelvis backward and otherwise use your body language to show that you +are proud to have your genitals on display +e Dont obsess over perceived physical or performance inadequacies +e Get people and media that are toxic to your sexuality out of your life +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great +game of life Academic Press +Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science +Whatmore G B Kohli D R Dysponesis A neurophysiological factor in +functional disorders Systems Research and Behavioral Science +Dumoulin C HaySmith J Pelvic floor muscle training versus no treatment +or inactive control treatments for urinary incontinence in women The Cochrane Database of +Systematic Reviews CD +Dorey G Speakman M J Feneley R C L Swinkels A Dunn C D R Pelvic floor +exercises for erectile dysfunction BJU International +La Pera G Nicastro A A new treatment for premature ejaculation The +rehabilitation of the pelvic floor Journal of Sex Marital Therapy +Vopni K Your pelvic floor the inside story Education wisdom from pelvic health +professionals across the globe Pelvienne Wellness +Bodansky S Bodansky V Extended massive orgasm How you can give and +receive intense sexual pleasure Vermilion +Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns +Eat food Not too much Mostly plants Michael Pollan +If a pack of wolves kills a deer the leader gets the choice cuts before the pack shares the rest in +an egalitarian way They eat until the entire deer is gone because they dont know when there +will be another Likewise for much of our huntergatherer past food was not guaranteed +Thus when we encountered a glut we would gorge ourselves There was no benefit to limiting +food intake because an excess of stored calories was necessary to survive periods of famine +The constant hunger drive was a survival mechanism The same goes for our drive to minimize +energy expenditure The less movement you made the more calories you conserved This is +why today some of us have the inclination to be insatiable couch potatoes In our modern +world these adaptive traits are no longer beneficial Instead they have made us susceptible to +obesity and related ailments including diabetes hypertension and cardiovascular disease +Rats with a perpetually full food dish that are allowed to selfregulate their own food +intake become rotund They eat as much as they want engaging in hedonic hyperphagia +This is food intake motivated by pleasure and independent of hunger Overfeeding in this way +causes them to suffer from metabolic diseases and cancers These rats die much younger than +rats fed appropriate portions You and are domestic mammals that are allowed to feed +ourselves ad libitum World obesity statistics demonstrate that humans are not doing so well +given these liberties Unlike rats we can selfimpose limitations on our eating This can be +difficult but we need to do so if we want to stay healthy Of course it is not only how much +we eat but also what we eat that makes a difference +Sometimes an evolved mechanism becomes a liability once certain features of the +environment change For instance many animals eat brightly colored trash because their +visual perception of it excites appetitive circuits in their brains Animals regularly die from such +misplaced instincts and due to the modern food industry so do we Favoring sweet salty +fatty foods was necessary for the survival of prehistoric humans Hence our taste receptors +make us crave sugar sodium and fat Given the glut of hyperpalatable food options today +this adaptation has backfired +Our bodies produce feelgood chemicals when we consume tasty food and when our +stomachs are full These chemicals reduce bodily pain stress hormones and the activation of +the fight or flight system The transient alleviation of stress influences us to adopt unhealthy +eating habits On the other hand trying to force ourselves to eat less and eat healthy can +promote stress In this chapter we will discuss some effective solutions for how you can keep +weight off without contributing to stress +Calorie and Nutrient Density +Worthless people live only to eat and drink people of worth eat and drink only to live Socrates BCE BCE +Scientists estimate that of the pets in the US are overweight Even a little extra weight in +our pets reduces their health lifespan mobility and playtime My cat Niko used to be +overweight Feeding him less wasnt working He would just cry in desperation until gave him +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +more food The solution was feeding him the least caloric cat food on the market Now he still +eats the same volume of food so he is just as satisfied However because his food has less fat +and fewer calories he is now slim This solution works just as well for you and me +Energy density is the number of calories energy in a given amount volume of food It is +often measured in calories per cup Most of us eat lots of heavily processed and refined food +which are very energy dense The problem is if you fill your stomach with it you will have far +exceeded your healthy calorie limit Now if you eat proportionately less of it you will still be +hungry The solution is to eat decentsized portions of less caloriedense food Foods that are +low in calorie density but high in nutrient density include fruit and vegetables lean meat fat +free dairy and whole grains Consider for instance that a large gram strawberry has six +calories but a small gram chocolate chip cookie has calories +Studies show that people tend to eat about the same overall weight of food everyday +regardless of the number of calories it contains This means that adding low calorie density +foods to your meals will allow you to feel perfectly full on fewer calories Additionally because +they are less addictive than food containing additives like soda chips fast food and candy you +are less likely to overeat +Most mammals will eat more when palatable food is readily available Hyperpalatable food +is rare in the wild but is commonly eaten by domestic animals For instance mice and rats have +a strong preference for potato chips over their standard foods Like us their pleasure system +drives them to make unhealthy choices And if they are allowed to live on potato chips they +will consume a larger volume of food The tastier the food you keep in your fridge and pantry +the more you will be tempted to gorge yourself on it +If you can convince yourself to buy less palatable and more nutrient dense food you will +naturally be less likely to overeat You may even find that you have no interest in continuing to +eat bland food on a full stomach This will ensure that you eat to reduce hunger rather than +maximize pleasure Start with your morning routine If you can eat a lowfat lowsugar high +fiber cereal you will be off to a great start Consider adding some fruit to reward yourself and +increase the volume of what youre eating Fruits and vegetables are the ultimate choices for +lowcalorie density but high nutrient density +Keep telling yourself If Im not hungry enough to eat healthily must not really be that +hungry Eating bland healthy food sounds like a chore but the good news is that you get used +to it My cat didnt like the diet cat food at first but within a month he preferred it You should +similarly find yourself developing a preference for healthy food after intentionally exposing +yourself to it The more fruit and vegetables you eat the more youll know which ones you like +and in which combinations After a while the prospect of your favorites will make you salivate +When eat fruit or vegetables often pretend that just found dug up or picked them myself +This makes me savor the taste even more After eating healthy for a while many people find +going back to junk food to be revolting did +Getting Full on Fruit and Vegetables Will Trick Your Body into Liking Them +In all our heads there is a spoiled little prince or princess who wants each bite to be as delicious +as possible Their sense of entitlement is the reason we eat so terribly Banish them Eating is +not about delighting our taste buds It is about getting essential nutrients while barring +unhealthy foods access to the interior of our bodies However many people find that they have +Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns +no appetite for healthy food This makes it difficult to get started If this sounds like you ask +yourself whether you have ever gotten full on unprocessed food alone Having only fruit for +dinner sounds like a nightmare to many people But this is only because they have never +tried it +was pressed for time one day searching for a lunch could take on a long drive The most +accessible items in the market were two bananas and a carton of strawberries realized that it +would take up about as much room in my stomach as a burger and fries so that was all ate +tried to enjoy it didnt eat anything else after that meal and didnt give it much thought +That simple experience transformed my perspective on strawberries and bananas because +used them by themselves to get full for the first time +Your guts nervous system works in sync with several unconscious areas in your brain +constantly learning about factors related to appetite and feeling satiated Once you get full on +something without getting sick your body unconsciously learns to trust it Even your conscious +feelings about that food can change Why do you think chimps salivate at the prospect of a +mouthful of insects leaves or bark It is because they have gotten full on them before +Healthy Weight Exercise Get Full on Fruit or Vegetables +Plan a meal entirely composed of raw fruit Eat until you are full and dont eat again until the +next meal Afterward focus on the feeling of satisfaction Over the next few days notice how +this experience has changed your orientation toward fruit Next time try this with +vegetables then a combination of both +The exercise above will help you learn to crave nutritious fruit and vegetables The first few +times you might feel queasy or nauseous but this will pass You may notice changes after a +single meal or it may take several sessions but you will find that simply getting full on healthy +food is a failsafe way to trick your body into trusting and enjoying it This will set you on a path +toward following the USDAs evidencebased recommendation to make half of each meal fruits +and vegetables This is in my opinion by far the best recommendation offered by nutritional +science today +Do you know that piercing hunger that drives you to eat things that are unhealthy Instead +of addressing it with fast food eradicate it with fruit and vegetables Snack on grapes nuts +pears peaches seeds dried fruit and sugarfree trail mix Dip broccoli celery cucumber slices +snow peas green beans and carrots in hummus Cut raw tomatoes avocacos tangerines or +mangos into your meals Cook legumes corn onion garlic cherries mushrooms or chilies in +with your rice or pasta Place dried cranberries olives spinach sundried tomatoes figs and +apple slices in your sandwiches Add blueberries melons plums mangos guavas and papayas +to your breakfast Use asparagus sweet potatoes beets cauliflower and eggplant as sides to +your entrees When you feel like grazing graze on natures superfoods and after a while you +may be surprised to find how they can better gratify your hunger +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Make half of each meal fruits and vegetables +Eating plants is more convenient than you might think If the grocery store near you has +a salad bar skip the lettuce and fill your bowl with precut fruit vegetables lean meats +and lowcalorie dressing Most grocery stores convenience stores and bigbox retailers carry +freshcut fruit and vegetables to go Consider taking advantage of this If you want to save +money and eat inexpensively you can cut them yourself Eating several servings of fruit and +vegetables daily will help you to get lean fast and get all the vitamins minerals antioxidants +and fiber you need +Make a Smoothie Every Day +Preparing fruit and vegetables yourself can be timeconsuming Cutting them into bitesized +portions and then chewing them takes time However because fruit and vegetables turn to +liquid in a blender you can drink large quantities in seconds Smoothies shakes and liquid +meals are much easier for your gut to process and decrease the physical effort of digestion +which some scientists believe may prolong lifespan Also the bioavailability of liquid meals is +higher meaning your body absorbs more nutrients Furthermore blending fruit and vegetables +does not reduce their fiber or vitamin content +With your fruit smoothies try adding dates yogurt almond milk cashews walnuts vanilla +extract honey and ripe frozen bananas With your vegetable smoothies try tomato juice +cayenne pepper chili flakes lemon lime onion or garlic A daily fruit or vegetable smoothie is +an easy cheap filling and extremely healthy meal +Get Your Essential Vitamins and Nutrients +A diet lacking in certain vitamins can contribute to depression and anxiety Folic acid iron +omega vitamin B magnesium vitamin C vitamin D selenium and zinc are all essential +Deficiencies in these can result in fatigue irritability apathy poor concentration +aggressiveness mood swings and increased depressive symptoms This is another reason +why its imperative to eat more of those fruits and vegetables +Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns +Cut out Saturated Fats +Try not to eat any fats that are solid at room temperature These are saturated fats and +consuming them leads to high cholesterol clogged arteries atherosclerosis and heart disease +Much of the saturated fats we ingest come from just a few culprits You should seriously +consider minimizing pure animal fat processed meat poultry skin whole milk heavy cream +highfat cheese sour cream lard butter margarine ghee tropical oils and mayonnaise in your +diet Avoid fullfat dairy and go for the fatfree variety Cut the white or clear fat off your meat +and stay away from fried food Altogether avoid hydrogenated or trans fats Unlike saturated +fats unsaturated fats are essential so make an effort to eat fish nuts seeds and vegetable oils +eg canola olive flaxseed soybean etc +The Paleo Diet Works +The Paleolithic diet promotes the consumption of food that our hunting and gathering +ancestors would have eaten It is rational to eat what our bodies naturally expect and have +eaten for millions of years The paleo diet advises that we eat whole foods like fruits +vegetables fish and grassfed meats It also discourages processed foods and added sugar and +salt These recommendations are entirely in line with modern nutritional science and the paleo +diet has been shown to have significant health benefits in controlled trials However there +are two valid criticisms of the paleo diet First the diet restricts some nutrientdense food such +as fatfree dairy and whole grains which need not be restricted Second the high meat intake +may lead to health problems if the meat is not lean Besides these two issues asking yourself +Would my ancestors have eaten this can be a practical question to help you avoid +detrimental foods +Drink More Water +Many beverages are extraordinarily caloric Simply cutting soft drinks from your diet can be +highly beneficial Even juice has a lot of calories but no fiber so despite being calorie dense it +doesnt do much to make you feel full This is why if you are not drinking smoothies you should +be drinking plain purified water Dieticians commonly point out that water is absolutely free of +calories and can contribute to feeling full so lets drink up +Many people dont get enough water leaving them with mild symptoms of chronic +dehydration Dehydration is physiologically detrimental and contributes to a lack of energy +discomfort and the muscular dysfunctions discussed in previous chapters Try to drink between +five and eight ounce glasses up to liters of water per day Never drink less than your +thirst dictates +Detraumatize Your Ability to Chug Water +used to frequently choke when drinking This was because my swallowing reflex had become +uncoordinated due to hyperventilation Drinking fast felt perilous and chugging felt like being +waterboarded Swallowing involves the temporary closure of the epiglottis to keep food and +drink out of the lungs If not synchronized correctly then the liquid is inhaled into the lungs +pulmonary aspiration This was happening to me daily Difficulty swallowing is known as +dysphagia everybody has a little bit of it and you want to minimize your bit Use the exercise +below so that you drink mightily with no unnecessary encumbrances +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Healthy Weight Exercise Chug Water Mightily +Pour yourself a large glass of room temperature or warm water Tell yourself there is no rush +There is nothing better for you to do at this moment than observing your swallowing +apparatus at work Take a deep breath and drink the water slowly and mindfully Start with +small gulps making each one voluntary Pay very close attention to the cadence of your +gulping It should be steady Focus on the following +During each gulp your muscles should move through their full range of motion +decisively and uninterrupted +Much of the swallowing process is an automatic reflex controlled by unconscious +neurological mechanisms in the brainstem Give each swallow sufficient time to +progress entirely through its reflex arc before attempting to swallow again You dont +want to interrupt a swallow by swallowing again too soon +It takes practice to know when it is safe to initiate another swallow It is like two +people passing sandbags down a line The first person must wait until the second +persons hands are free before giving them another bag Passing each gulp of water +from the cup to your mouth and then the back of your throat should be efficient and +quick but not at all rushed +You can either hold your breath while you chug or try to coordinate nasal breathing +with drinking Either way dont let involuntary gasps interrupt the chugging process +You cant breathe and swallow at the same time and you must teach the involuntary +aspects of breathing and swallowing to cooperate and wait their turn +Practicing this exercise twice per day for two weeks should be enough to ensure you have +no problem chugging four large glasses of water in seconds You will be able to put away a +bottle of water or a smoothie in a very short time More importantly you will never again be +afraid of choking on water +We Overeat to Combat Stress +It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures but the foolish to be a slave to them Epictetus c +We eat unhealthy food for pleasure but also to quell our pain As discussed earlier the taste of +fat salt and sugar and even the activation of our stomachs stretch receptors stimulate the +release of endorphins dopamine and other feelgood neurotransmitters Conversely dieting +can increase stress hormones startling breathing rate and heart rate Discomfort from skipping +a meal can deplete serotonin reducing the frontal lobes ability to regulate the amygdala +resulting in increased anxiety and frustration In turn heightened stress makes us hungrier and +drives us to keep eating even after we are full +As you know eating a meal makes the parasympathetic nervous system kick in And eating +a larger meal emphasizes rest and digest even more Unconsciously we know this and we +Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns +overeat to subdue the fight or flight mode Thus we overeat to turn the volume down on our +bodily pain Many of us eat to the point where we feel tired and slightly nauseous just to reduce +our daily stress +We also eat compulsively because we perceive food binges as mitigating distressed +breathing Hunger indeed makes our breath shallow Trying to abstain from a piece of cake +does the same That is why it is often preferable to just give in and eat the cake However as +you will see if you try it taking deep slow breaths every time you feel tempted can make you +impervious to the siren song +Combining Fasting with Diaphragmatic Breathing Reduces Your Hunger Drive +Our prehistoric ancestors would not have experienced undue stress the way we do from +missing just one meal Our bodies were designed to go for days without eating Most people +can live longer than a month without food as long as they have access to water However we +have spoiled our appetitive systems Every time we are a little late for a meal our breath +becomes shallow and disturbed Simply we havent learned to retain coolheadedness while +hungry believe that many fasting practices recognize this However think fasting can be +much more beneficial if intentionally combined with diaphragmatic breathing +Try skipping a meal and breathing through the discomfort using paced breathing Focus on +how hunger affects your breathing and internal bracing However be prudent about this Dont +skip a meal in the middle of a hectic workday as this will further traumatize your relationship +with hunger Make it a lunch on a weekend so you can pay attention to how it makes you feel +without worrying about distractions When fast just relax especially for the three or four +hours when am at my hungriest When you fast you will notice recurring pangs of hunger +starting a few hours after your regular mealtime Thoracic breathing fuels these hunger pangs +All your life until now you have paired hunger with distressed breathing Dissociate these by +using paced breathing to override hungers ability to highjack your stress system +Healthy Weight Exercise Diaphragmatic Fasting +Skip a lunch or dinner and spend time quelling your hunger pangs using paced breathing +Concentrate on the sensations of hunger and how they make your breathing shallow +Breathe along with a breath metronome for several minutes each hour during this fast +Imagine that you are a relaxed caveman or woman who hasnt eaten for two days yet who is +confident about finding plenty of food by tomorrow night +Pairing diaphragmatic breathing with hunger will dramatically soothe your hunger drive +The experience afforded by the exercise above will help you differentiate between a neurotic +impulse to eat and the bodys valid hunger signal Resolve to eat only when you feel this honest +signal emanating from your gut +By eating less you may be prolonging your life Studies show that modest calorie +restriction increases health and longevity in all mammals that have been tested Temporary +calorie deficits cause your cells to break down some of their internal building blocks for energy +in a process known as autophagy Many of these molecular structures were damaged and +dysfunctional before they were broken down The next time you eat the cells then turn around +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +and rebuild these structures back up correctly resulting in healthier cells The fact that our +cells regenerate in response to calorie restriction is another justification for why we should +learn to tolerate hunger However keep in mind that these health benefits do not outweigh the +costs associated with anorexia or bulimia +Shrink Your Appetite by Eating Less +Neuroscientists know that exercising restraint is much like exercising a muscle Every time you +abstain or show moderation when eating it gets easier to do so in the future Conversely +every time you binge you will want to eat more the next few meals Thus the next time you +flex your willpower by eating smaller portions or healthier food take some consolation in +knowing that your willpower is growing +It can take up to minutes for the satisfaction signal to reach the brain This is +unfortunate because it means that we are liable to eat minutes worth of food that we dont +need and within just a few short minutes will not want Learn to stop eating early and +anticipate satisfaction before it arrives One way to accomplish this is to stop eating once you +reach of being full It can also help to make a concerted effort to eat less while enjoying +your food more +used to get stressed if a meal was not large enough to make me very full Now find the +sensation of being stuffed repulsive because get tired after eating a heavy meal Overeating +promotes lethargy making both exercise and concentration more difficult This phenomenon is +called postprandial somnolence It can lead to sleepiness and a significant drop in mental +acuity around lunchtime Avoid this in the middle of the day by splitting your lunch in half +Eat one half at noon and the second minutes to an hour later Eating frequent smaller meals +may help you stay alert and keep your metabolism high +Dormant Muscle Increases Body Fat +Modern medical experts know that the current worldwide epidemic of obesity and diabetes is +attributable to unhealthy eating and insufficient exercise but they dont appreciate the role of +dormant muscle believe that the extent of dormant muscle is a major determinant of +metabolic rate It is pretty clear how dormant muscles cause an involuntary loss of lean mass +and a progressive increase in fat mass When parts of your neck shoulders spine and hips are +frozen in place your movement is impeded When your lower back hurts your stomach is +flaccid and your range of lumbar motion is compromised every action is attenuated For these +reasons firmly believe that performing the dormancyreducing antirigidity exercises from +previous chapters will increase your willtomove and your metabolism along with it +Increasing age is associated with decreasing metabolic rate believe this relationship is +mediated by frailty and that antirigidity may allow one to maintain a more active life well into +old age Frailty is the main reason that you have lower energy now as opposed to when you +were younger Thus antirigidity may be the best weight loss tool available When was +moved like a grandfather also had a skinnyfat physique and had to eat small portions to +avoid being overweight Dormant muscle strongly influenced me to be sedentary Not anymore +There are two primary reasons for the variability in metabolic rate between individuals +One is the difference in lean body mass A person with more muscle will have a higher +metabolism The second is voluntary movement not accounted for by exercise called non +Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns +exercise activity thermogenesis NEAT NEAT is spontaneous physical activity and is highly +variable across individuals including how you move and hold your body during work leisure +household tasks and ambulation NEAT can vary by as much as calories per day between +two people The notion that obesity and overweight may be more related to NEAT than diet +and exercise is supported by studies strongly believe that reclaiming atrophic and +hypertonic musculature using antilaxity and antirigidity is a surefire way to increase lean body +mass and NEAT Getting the dormant kinks out of the back and filling in the missing corners in +the abdomen by using the exercises in the next section will shred away ones fatty belly +Reviving Your Abdominals Through Exercise +Our bellies are fat because our abdominal muscles are flaccid and underactive In the following +exercise you will learn how to pair isometric abdominal contraction with paced diaphragmatic +breathing using the antilaxity method from Chapter +Healthy Weight Exercise Standing and Walking with Flexed Abs +In this exercise you will breathe to a breath metronome while standing with proper posture +and tightening your abdominals Pull the belly button toward the spine and contract your +abs Notice how tensing your abs makes you want to breathe at very short intervals Simply +contracting the abs stifles the diaphragm automatically but you can override this Hold the +abdominal contraction and breathe deeply to the pace of the metronome The longer you +pair these two things the more robust you make your abdominal tone +Very lightly strike your abs all over with your hand or a rounded object This will help you +keep a solid contraction When doing this exercise your chest will tend to cave in so expand +the chest and lengthen the distance between your breastbone and pubic bone Dont forget +to retain proper tone in the muscles that expel urine we discussed in the last chapter +Allowing the diaphragm to push the stomach out is key to diaphragmatic breathing +The sight of a protruding abdomen however is not fashionable in our society This is why many +people habitually suck in their gut which can keep the diaphragm tense and limit its motion +You should feel comfortable anywhere poking your stomach out as far as it can go At first +you will look like you have a potbelly just as retracting your neck gives you a double chin +However as these muscles gain natural tone your stomach will slim Pushing the stomach +out is also vital to lower back health as it cushions the lumbar spine during forward bends +Lets use antirigidity contracting directly into achiness to fix this +Healthy Weight Exercise Doubled Over with Protruding Stomach +Pair paced breathing with the activation of deeply dormant abdominal musculature To reach +the deepest portion of your abs sit down with your legs in front of you Bend forward from +your hips and rest your hands on your shins From this position press your stomach outward +as far as it will go Experiment with pressing your stomach out and tensing the abs to +different extents to find the weak areas of your abdomen You should be able to find several +areas that ache very deeply Be very careful because contracting your abdominal muscles too +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +hard or too much at a time could strain the back or even cause an abdominal hernia If it +hurts work up to it slowly Follow the breath metronome while safely contracting into the +achy dormant muscle to rehab it +For maximum results perform the last two abdominal exercises from several different +positions standing kneeling crouching taking one knee squatting lying on the back etc +Reviving Your Abdomen Through Massage +Performing myofascial release on the lower back and love handles dramatically diminished my +stores of local fat This got me wondering whether the same technique could decrease +abdominal fat deposits It sounds too good to be true right Its not Much of the rectus +abdominis has been traumatized because of the way it instinctually contracts without rest +during fear All this strain leads to a dead gut that fails to burn fat Getting the trauma out will +make your abdominals much stronger make ab exercises easier and help your core to be more +engaged during everything you do To do this in the next exercise we will percuss the abdomen +while lying on the back +Healthy Weight Exercise Myofascial Release for Abdominal Muscles +Use your fingers knuckles or a tool to percuss the entire abdomen Lift your hand three to +eight inches above the abdomen before each strike Strike the abdomen two to three times +per second You want to hit hard enough to break the bracing pattern without creating any +real pain or damaging tissue Each soft strike should elicit an ache This aching feeling will +make you want to brace to protect yourself initiating the stretch reflex and a defensive +contraction You want to inhibit this defensive contraction instead allowing your abs to +remain as limp as possible Search for areas that feel tight inflexible or crunchy Spend time +pressing firmly into the tense cords of muscle overlying the bones of the lower rib cage hips +and pelvis all areas that your abdominal muscles anchor into Each day the aching will +further subside and you will have to strike slightly deeper to access achy tissue After a +session there should be no bruising or pain whatsoever so if these occur you are hitting +yourself too hard +This activity will wake up your core but as with all forms of massage overdoing it can +diminish muscle mass For this reason just do it until you get the intense achiness out +Conclusion +Restaurant owners know that people dont want to pay for raw unprocessed food This is +because unprocessed food is cheap and involves very little preparation Consequently it is +perceived to have very little added value Restaurants provide a service by processing the food +such as frying or bakingcooking in oil We are all addicted to these unhealthy preparations +Eating bland chewy raw unprocessed food is work but it is how wild animals and people stay +Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns +lean and healthy Employing nonresistance nonjudgment healthy breathing and a bit of old +fashioned stoicism will help +People who overeat to reduce their stress will find that what their bodies are really +hungering for is exercise The use of cardiovascular exercise in the reduction of stress will be +discussed in the next chapter +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e We dont crave healthy foods because we have not had the experience of getting full on +them by themselves Give yourself that experience by eating full meals that consist of +only fruits and vegetables +e Use a blender to turn fruit and vegetables into smoothies It is a speedy healthy +inexpensive and lowcalorie way to get full +e We overeat unhealthy food to transiently increase our dopamine and endorphins as an +attempt to selfmedicate against panic and stress +e We have spent our lives pairing hunger with thoracic breathing This is why hunger +causes distress which in turn causes us to overeat By fasting for a meal and pairing +the fasting experience with paced breathing you can detraumatize your nervous +systems relationship with hunger +e Stop eating when you feel satiated +e Only start eating when you feel at least hungry +e People with copious dormant muscle must diet to a stressinducing extent to maintain a +healthy weight Reviving dormant muscle using antirigidity will increase your +metabolism +e Most people have an extensive reservoir of dormant abdominal muscle Your stomach +will become much leaner if you rehabilitate this muscle with massage and antilaxity and +antirigidity exercises +Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns +Chapter Endnotes +Reser J Nutrition behavior and the developmental origins of the metabolic +syndrome In V Preedy R Watson C Martin Eds Handbook of behavior food and +nutrition pp Springer +Reser Nutrition behavior and the developmental origins of the metabolic +syndrome +de Gortari P AlcantaraAlonso V MatamorosTrejo G Amaya M I AlvarezSalas E +Differential effects of leptin administration on feeding and HPT axis function in earlylife +overfed adult rats Peptides +Haslam D W James W P Obesity The Lancet +Robertson B A Rehage J S Sih A Ecological novelty and the emergence of +evolutionary traps Trends in Ecology Evolution +Bleich S Cutler D Murray C Adams A Why is the developed world obese +Annual Review of Public Health +Drewnowski A Nutrient density Addressing the challenge of obesity British +Journal of Nutrition S SS +Haytowitz D B Pehrsson P R USDAs national food and nutrient analysis +program NFNAP produces highquality data for USDA food composition databases Two +decades of collaboration Food Chemistry +Greenfield B Boundless Upgrade your brain optimize your body defy aging +Victory Belt Publishing +Rao T S Asha M R Ramesh B N Rao K S Understanding nutrition +depression and mental illness indian Journal of Psychiatry +Ghaedi E Mohammadi M SalehiAbargouei A Effects of a Paleolithic diet on +cardiovascular disease risk factors A systematic review and metaanalysis of randomized +controlled trials Advances in Nutrition +Kenefick R W Drinking strategies Planned drinking versus drinking to thirst +Sports Medicine Suppl +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Kobayashi S Choose delicately and reuse adequately The newly revealed process +of autophagy Biological Pharmaceutical Bulletin +Hofmann W Deutsch R Lancaster K Banaji M R Cooling the heat of +temptation Mental selfcontrol and the automatic evaluation of tempting stimuli European +Journal of Social Psychology +Reyner L A Wells S J Mortlock V Horne J A Postlunch sleepiness during +prolonged monotonous driving effects of meal size Physiology Behavior +Chung N Park M Y Kim J Park H Y Hwang H Lee C H Han J S So J Park J +Lim K Nonexercise activity thermogenesis NEAT A component of total daily living +expenditure Journal of Exercise Nutrition Biochemistry +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol +and Chronic Stress +Trigger warning this chapter discusses some disturbing emotionally difficult material +Traumatic Incidents Affect Your Inner Mammal +woke up in my bed at am to a bright flash of light and an explosion It was the loudest +sound have ever heard could feel the force of the blast resound in my chest At first +assumed there was someone in my bedroom with a shotgun leaped out of bed for cover and +then heard footsteps and yelling just outside my bedroom window didnt know what to do +My home had been burglarized before and even experienced a robbery a few months prior +so assumed was experiencing a home invasion After a halfhour of walking around +maniacally with a baseball bat finally got the local watch commander on the phone He told +me police had served a warrant next door and used stun grenades to gain entry +It had never crossed my mind that law enforcement caused the situation As soon as knew +the explosions were not criminal started to calm down At least the conscious part of me +knew was no longer in danger On the other hand my cat Niko couldnt understand this +He engaged in all kinds of nervous behavior that had never seen from him looking over his +shoulder pawing at the ground and shaking tried my best to calm him but didnt know how +to communicate to him that we were safe now got dressed and took the bus to work There +were no empty seats that morning so stood up feeling the ice in my blood and the tremors +shoot down my spine Holding the rail asked myself How am going to face my colleagues +and give my talk this afternoon At the time knew next to nothing about diaphragmatic +breathing and hadnt developed any Program Peace exercises so struggled through it +The audience could tell was overwhelmed +That night couldnt sleep My conscious self knew was completely safe But my +unconscious brain areasthat like my cat dont speak Englishdidnt know this Like small +scared animals these brain modules continued to be emotional because they do not have +access to the conscious declarative knowledge that there never was any real threat Evolution +kept these brain modules in the dark because the organism cannot afford to trust the semantic +belief that Im pretty sure Im safe now You may not be able to talk to or reason with these +modules but you can communicate with them using your breath Deep breathing persuades +them to cool off didnt have paced breathing back then to help me keep the trauma from +sinking in but was able to use it years later to dig it out +My overreaction to that situation was shaped by prior experiences have been violently +assaulted several times in my life have been held up at knifepoint and seen people stabbed +shot at and beaten have never received an official diagnosis but believe these experiences +caused me to develop a form of PTSD even if a subclinical one Panicking didnt help me in any +of these situations The heightened anxiety from one did not serve me in the next The morning +after would wake up with my teeth heavily clenched eyes squinted into slits lumbar spine +contorted and shoulders up around my ears Many people suffer heinous traumatic incidents +much worse than these that go on to desecrate modules throughout their body have a few +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +friends that were jumped and beaten by groups of individuals The neurological toll this takes +can be ruinous especially if it happens multiple times +Car accidents mugging battery rape gruesome injury childhood abuse and anything that +involves an incapacity to stop a terrible thing from happening can plant the seeds of trauma +Feelings of entrapment immobilization and helplessness make it worse But it is when we +allow these feelings to persist through time that the real damage occurs Obsessive rumination +bracing and distressed breathing occurring well after the actual event itself are what prime the +body for suboptimality These three things turn stress into trauma by proving to your +unconscious that things have not gotten better Alleviating them starts with the breath because +if full long smooth diaphragmatic belly breathing does not resume then your muscles wont +let it go and your mind will continue to relive the tribulation What traumatic episodes are +you prolonging +A Heightened Stress System +As discussed in Chapters and sustained stress changes the bodys life strategy It convinces +the body that the environment it was born into is particularly lifethreatening Scientists refer +to such environments as high in extrinsic mortality This kind of environment communicates +to the organism on a cellular level that the probability of it being able to live a long and happy +life is low The genes then reprogram the body to deal with a short and grisly one This changes +your mortal shell from a slowburning candle into a firecracker Your body expends all its energy +upfront because it doesnt expect to live for long This happens at the expense of longterm +energetic investments such as healing the immune system learning reproductive functioning +affiliation and investing time and energy in offspringt For example chronic anxiety inhibits +your bodys ability to protect itself from oxidation which is a process that acts on your cells in +the same way that rust acts on metal It also contributes to aging by keeping the body from +repairing its telomeres the protective caps at the end of your chromosomes reducing the +number of times your cells can divide +As you know when stress goes on for too long it results in a chronically heightened fear +and startle response The brain is retuned to enhance performance during lifethreatening +situations and facilitate cautiousness and hypervigilance traits that would have been highly +adaptive during extended periods of dire stress in prehistoric environments These changes +cause the stress response to become more pronounced and more easily triggered The brain +center that triggers stress the amygdala has its own innate response pattern to chronic stress +Lets learn more about this almondsized nucleus that acts as yet another biological repository +of trauma +The Amygdala Recognizes Threats +As we learned in Chapter threats are recognized by the amygdala This unconscious +subcortical area becomes active once it perceives a stimulus or a group of stimuli together as +dangerous The amygdala responds quickly and automatically to the inputs it receives from the +eyes ears and other sense organs If the threat is sufficient it broadcasts the fear signal to the +rest of the brain It can do this unconsciously a glimpse of a looming object or visually the +view of a bus barreling toward you The recognition of an abstract stressor knowledge that +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +you missed your bus involves the prefrontal cortex which indirectly alerts the amygdala +Either way once the amygdala is activated it will signal the hypothalamus which initiates fight +or flight +Thalamus +Prefrontal +Cortex Visual Cortex +Eye +Hypothalamus +Amygdala To Heart Lungs +Adrenals +Illustration A Cross section of the brain with amygdala revealed You actually have two amygdalae one in +each cerebral hemisphere B Three fear pathways to the amygdala The unconscious pathway travels from the +eye to the thalamus to the amygdala The visual pathway travels from the eye to the thalamus to the visual +cortex to the amygdala The thinking pathway travels from the prefrontal cortex to the amygdala +Amygdala +If the amygdala is strongly and repeatedly activated over the course of several weeks its +default level of activity will increase Over months of repeated activation the amygdala +develops stronger connections with other brain areas intensifying its influence It also increases +in overall size This enhanced priority given to the amygdala causes the animal to react to +every seemingly threatening stimulus as if it were a full threat +The amygdalas job is to decide whether a pattern of inputs looks like something that +turned out badly in the past However it does not use reason or conscious deliberation to do +this Rather it engages in simple pattern matching in which it adds up seemingly bad inputs to +see if they sum to a threshold If the inputs surpass this threshold the amygdala triggers the +sympathetic nervous system Thus our feelings of dread are not prompted by logical thinking +Instead they are initiated by the amygdalas eccentric way of determining statistics and +probability For example an offenders voice clothes name or cologne could subliminally +reinstate an amygdala highjack +Allow me to provide an example of how the amygdalas form of logic is susceptible to +mistakes One day when was in a lousy mood picked up the phone and the caller asked to +speak to my roommate The next day when heard their voice again it made me angry and +realized my prior bad mood had biased me against the caller for no good reason Because my +brain made this unconscious negative association hearing the voice later triggered the same +negative emotions It was illogical and unfair to the caller But my first impulse was to trust it +unquestioningly We accept the amygdalas alarm bells as a type of foreboding intuition +Negative emotions usually feel valid and impelling but they are often invalid and illusory +This is why we should question them rather than act on them impulsively Especially after +you experience a series of stressors the amygdala will influence your thinking to be +delusionally negative +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +When activity in the amygdala surges the brain is temporarily retuned to perceive +everything as troublesome For instance it increases the tendency to perceive ambiguous +events as bad such as criticism when none is intended or hostility from a neutral face This is +the opposite of a manic episode which causes people to perceive everything as a gleeful lucky +coincidence People with mania often feel like cars on the freeway move to let them through +everyone is their best friend and everything goes their way On the other hand chronic stress +makes us more likely to succumb to road rage and the feeling that everyone and everything is +against us Whenever start to feel disheartened try to remember that neurochemicals can +paint over reality +You may have noticed that after one negative interaction you are much more likely to get +stressed out about other completely unrelated things With the exception of living in a +warzone this displaced negative thinking is irrational in the modern world Interestingly though +it may not be irrational from an ecological standpoint It was beneficial for mammals to be +prepared for the worst during bad times Just imagine what life would have been like for early +mammals in the Jurassic and Cretaceous periods +When there are predators on the loose or natural catastrophes strike they are rarely +quickly resolved For furry varmints from possums to porcupines to panthers it makes sense to +become scared and remain paranoid From a modern perspective however it is preposterous +to generalize anxiety to whatever your mind turns to Dont let one unfortunate scenario lead +to a domino effect of suspicion and dismay Notice when you carry negative emotions from one +thought over to another When you realize it try to tell yourself that the negativity may feel +compelling but that it is probably just residual and misattributed emotion +Stress and Cortisol The MindBody Connection +Stand porter at the door of thought Admitting only such conclusions as you wish realized in bodily results you will +control yourself harmoniously Mary Baker Eddy +When the amygdala decides it has perceived a stressful stimulus it triggers the hypothalamus +The hypothalamus mobilizes the sympathetic nervous system leading to rapid breathing +tense muscles reduced sensitivity to pain suspension of digestion and a rise in heart rate and +blood pressure It also activates the adrenal glands prompting the release of adrenaline +The release of adrenaline is a fastacting hormonal response to an acute stressor Adrenaline +frees up blood sugars to give muscles and other tissues the energy they need to deal with an +immediate threat +After adrenaline the second principal stress hormone is cortisol Cortisol a is slowacting +response to a persistent stressor also released by the adrenals It gives animals extra strength +by liberating the energy from fat molecules into the bloodstream This sounds like it could lead +to weight loss but it doesnt In the long run cortisol promotes fat storage and muscle protein +breakdown It also changes the expression of several genes in fat tissue increasing the +likelihood of obesity and type diabetes +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +Adrenal +Gland +e +Kidney +Illustration A The kidneys with the adrenal glands sitting on top B The molecular structure of the hormone +cortisol C The heart and lungs +Chronic stress upregulates this entire stress hormone system also known as the HPA +hypothalamicpituitaryadrenal axis The result is that the body is continuously flooded with +adrenaline and cortisol Sustained elevation of cortisol is highly pathogenic and leads to +hypertension elevated heart rate increased circulating levels of lipids and cholesterol +atherosclerotic plaque formation decreased highdensity lipoprotein HDL and increased low +density lipoprotein LDL cholesterol Cortisol makes stress corrosive and is related to disorders +like arthritis asthma acid reflux cardiovascular disease chronic fatigue decreased +metabolism depression various cancers migraines sleep deprivation immune system +impairment and ulcers +Elevated cortisol also causes the immune system to produce inflammatory chemicals +cytokines This results in inflammation redness warmth and swelling which increases the +immune systems ability to heal wounds from physical attacks Again this would have been +advantageous in prehistoric times when stress indicated that cuts and lacerations were likely In +modern times however chronically elevated inflammation can lead to pain poor digestion +cancer autoimmune disorders and other dire disease states In fact it has been found to be a +player in almost every chronic disease To escape chronic inflammation we must stop thinking +inflammatory thoughts But unfortunately cortisol also acts on the brain +Cortisol causes mammals to search desperately for a way out Today this urge to escape +drives us to drink alcohol smoke overeat and displace workrelated frustrations on family +members If you are curious to see what highly elevated cortisol feels like try submerging your +entire forearm in an ice bath for two minutes The pain from the ice causes a rapid spike in +cortisol release and this method is often used in experimental studies When cortisol is raised +like this it causes subjects to perform mental tasks less flexibly and intelligently It also +increases pessimism aggression and the negativity bias +As you might have guessed elevated cortisol is common in humans and animals on the +bottom of the pecking order Cortisol is the hormone of status defeat and it surges in monkeys +and apes that are being dominated Decades of studies on early life exposure to cortisol in +monkeys reinforces much of what we have been discussing in this book Exposure to trauma +and cortisol makes a young monkey more psychologically vulnerable to stress and leads to +decreased dominance increased aggression decreased social competence reduced ability to +find social interactions rewarding and reduced affiliative drive When we feel defeated our +serotonin and testosterone drop and our cortisol rises Intermittent stressors like workplace +abuse or even replaying uncivil incidents in ones mind elevate cortisol levels +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Stress expert Robert Sapolsky wrote an excellent book on the neurobiology of stress called +Why Zebras Dont Get Ulcers In the book Sapolsky explains that most animals other than +social primates do not give themselves ulcers because they dont waste time worrying Zebras +and most other animals only get upset when they find themselves in immediate danger +usually involving a predator If we only got upset when wild carnivores were stalking us we +would all be a whole lot happier Moreover zebras probably dont rehearse negative social +situations or mull over their place on the social ladder It is mostly monkeys apes and humans +that repeatedly model these scenarios in their heads As a primate your amygdala is inclined to +latch on to social confrontation and cause it to be played out continuously in the imagination +This results in an existential nightmare that Chapter offered you tools eg nonjudgment +nonresistance and nonattachment to wake yourself up from Most of these tools influence the +way you assess problems +The way you appraise a stressprovoking stimulus will program your automatic response +the next time you encounter a similar stimulus In other words your brain will do its best to +remember how you responded so it can expedite that response next time So when something +alarms shocks or unpleasantly surprises you dont get caught up in it Instead try to +immediately minimize the negativity +Whether it is a mosquito whining in your ear a car honking at you or a person yelling at +you stop take a deep breath and choose to be calmer Underreacting inoculates the amygdala +against stress Face difficulty with a levelheaded mindset that is as centered grounded +and poised as possible +DeStress Activity Maintain Composure Amid Tragedy +Imagine that a terrible crisis is unfolding all around you You are attempting to stop assailants +from battering your friend You are being lambasted absolutely torn to shreds by your +colleagues You are experiencing a natural disaster A large animal is attacking your group +Imagine maintaining complete composure amid this chaos You are going through hell but +you keep going You stand straight put on your game face breathe deeply and master the +fear in your gut Other people see your outward appearance and are puzzled by it You focus +on fixing the situation the best way you can knowing that maintaining your presence of mind +will only aid your efforts to help others and right wrongs If you make these scenarios vivid +and extreme then after you have done this for a while there should be nothing and no one +in real life that can throw you off +Dont Develop an Unhealthy Fear of Stress +He who fears he shall suffer already suffers what he fears Michel De Montaigne +After recounting so many of the physical costs of stress in this book would be doing you a +disservice if didnt encourage you not to stress out over stress itself Here is why Studies have +shown that the pathogenesis of physical disease in response to stress is made much worse +when someone believes that stress affects their health Basically thinking that stress is +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +unhealthy makes it more unhealthy Also people who report they actively avoid stress are +more likely to suffer from depression So what can we do +When you feel stressed dont hate it fear it or fight it Appraise it as enthusiasm and allow +diaphragmatic breathing and belief in yourself to take away the unhealthy elements Whenever +you believe that you will end up stronger from a stressful incident you almost always will This +is known as posttraumatic growth People who see stress as normal and an opportunity for +progress fare better For instance nervous public speakers who said am excited were rated +as having better speeches than people who said I am calm So decide to see yourself as +scrappy full of grit and able to bounce back Believe that stress and arousal will create an +advantage for you +A stressor itself is inherently neutral It is the way it is appraised that induces either distress +or eustress Eustress is positive stress and comes about when we decide we can cope +successfully Eustress mounted in response to exciting challenges drops off quickly rather than +lingering like the cortisol response does +Besides this distinction between distress and eustress scientists also differentiate between +the threat and challenge responses The threat response is the fightorflight response that +makes you angry or fearful priming you for selfdefense The challenge response gives you +initiative helps you focus and motivates you to confront obstacles Both responses share +several physiological factors such as an increase in heart rate However when you feel +challenged your heart beats stronger not just faster giving you more energy +During the threat response the body is anticipating physical harm and makes relevant +alterations For example blood vessels constrict to minimize blood loss due to injury sustained +during combat The body also increases inflammation and mobilizes immune cells to prepare +for bruises and cuts The threat response leads to cortisol and feelings of selfdoubt Studies +have shown that over time the threat response leads to obesity brain volume loss and an +increased risk of cardiovascular disease +The challenge response doesnt do these things The challenge response leads to tenacity +and enthusiasm Experts say that if you feel you dont have what it takes to meet a situation +head on you experience a threat response agree also think that the threat response is +selected when distressed breathing predominates and that the challenge response is selected +when diaphragmatic breathing is retained Use your deep breathing skills to turn threat +responses into challenge responses +would also be remiss not to mention that low to moderate stress levels are natural and +beneficial In fact most excitement is accompanied by a little adrenaline and cortisol along +with an increase in heart and breathing rates We need some stress just like we need to +contract our muscles regularly The problem with the stress response is when it is elevated +chronically like a braced muscle +am asking you to avoid mulling over threats fights and abuse am not however asking +you to deny reality or stop thinking about rising to meet challenges Avoiding what makes you +anxious can suspend growth This is why it is important to expose yourself incrementally to +gradations of challenging social situations Voice that extra comment joke or observation to +your peers to challenge yourself without pushing yourself into panic Spark a conversation with +a stranger Chat up the clerk at the cash register Find progressively larger audiences to share +your ideas with and make eye contact for those few extra seconds Every time you meet a +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +moderate challenge and succeed you become able to face bigger challenges Assert yourself +in ways you were hesitant to previously and push yourself to gently expand your comfort +zone boundaries +Remember those monkey studies we discussed a few sections back It turns out that if the +young monkey was exposed to elevated levels of cortisol a few times but only briefly +then they developed increased resilience to stress and lowered cortisol levels It toughened +them up Your stress system is just like a muscle you want to push it through its full range +regularly but not for extended periods Undergoing stress that challenges your cardiovascular +and sympathetic system ends up being excellent exercise if you are not defeated by it and if you +can relax afterward Envision your stress system as agile and able to go from to and back +to uncomplicatedly Endure prevail and recoup Be made better and stronger by everything +that happens by remaining fundamentally unharmed +Feelings of Control and Safety +An animals stress is exacerbated when it cannot figure out how to make things better +feels helpless or powerless A rat subjected to small electrical shocks will liberate significantly +less cortisol if it thinks it has some control over the frequency of the shocks Tricking the rat into +thinking that pushing a lever reduces these shocks helps it remain calm even if the lever +actually does nothing In a similar experiment when a beeping noise preceded a shock toa +rats foot those rats had less severe ulcers than those with no warning Because the stress had +some predictability the rats could retain a sense of control +The moral of this story Dont focus on the elements of disturbing events that are +unpredictable or uncontrollable More importantly know that your reactions attitude and +reasoned choice are always under your control Your breathing is always under your control as +well We all have times we are confused and uncertain Do not let the nonlinear chaotic or +unforeseeable distress you Instead take the time to identify which aspects of an unpleasant +situation are malleable This can help take the sting away from the unruly and erratic and help +you turn threats into challenges +Challenging yourself and embracing disorder is great but there are times when you must +feel able to completely put down your guard so that you can rest deeply After the police loudly +arrested my neighbor felt helpless in my own bed This is not ok Do what you must to make +sure that you feel in control underneath your sheets even if it means installing an alarm system +or a thicker bedroom door with a deadbolt The place where you sleep should provide +sanctuary and refuge so you can debrace recharge and think safe happy thoughts +The Buddha sat and slept at the base of the Bodhi Tree because it provided protection and +security He trusted it to have his back Make sure your resting place makes you feel +unconditionally secure +Preventing Scalp Soreness and Other Forms of Hypoperfusion +Hair loss can be caused by stress have a friend who left his ferret alone for two days and came +home to find it covered in bald patches It is common for mammals to lose fur after trauma +The details are unclear but it may be some kind of social signal When chronic stress causes +hair loss in humans it is known as telogen effluvium started rapidly losing hair at the end of +th grade At the time had no idea what caused the sudden hair loss Looking back two +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +decades later it is clear that it started immediately after having my nose broken believe the +hair loss was a direct response to some form of highintensity bracing that took on after the +injury that caused an outpouring of cortisol +It is cortisol that makes hair follicles thin and fall out it is also stress hormones that make +them turn gray This is why hair loss is associated with other stressrelated illnesses like +coronary artery disease hypertension dyslipidemia and increased mortality Although +genetics plays a role in hair loss abrupt hair loss from an early age is usually caused by extreme +stress By age my hairline had receded to the midline of my scalp farther than my father or +grandfathers hairlines Fascinatingly my hair loss stopped for eight years at least immediately +after started paced breathing Of course only a little of my hair grew back because the +miniaturization of the follicle responsible for balding is irreversible +Another contributor to hair loss is reduced blood supply to the scalp Stress and aging can +reduce circulation and vasculature in subcutaneous tissues all over the head This can cause +scalp soreness In the medical literature sore scalp has been closely associated with hair loss +alopecia and male pattern baldness believe that you can reduce your risk of hair loss by +increasing circulation in your scalp Does your scalp feel sore when you firmly press a knuckle +into it with five pounds of pressure It shouldnt If it does it may have reduced blood flow and +the accompanying reductions in oxygen and nutrients If the exercise below feels sore or +painful you should do it often to improve circulation The intervention is simple quick and can +vastly reduce scalp soreness in less than two weeks Do the following +DeStress Exercise Increase Scalp Blood Flow +Take the heel of your palm and press firmly down on the top of your head around +your hairline or on any patch of scalp that feels sore +Move your hand in a circular motion while pressing very firmly You should feel +like you are stretching the skin away from its attachments to the underlying bone +Try to move your hand in wide circles attempting to stretch the scalp as far as it +will go in each direction +Take about one seconds time to complete a full circle +Repeat this all over the scalp focusing on the sorest areas for a total of five +minutes Also use other forms of massage including compression and percussion +When started five pounds of pressure from a single knuckle at the top of my head +provoked unbearable discomfort The sheer amount of pain suggested to me that the scalp is +another anchor for trauma So felt compelled to try to get the pain out Within fiveminute +sessions of the exercise above it went from puffy and dimpled with inflammation to smooth +and sleek Aside from the scalp there are other areas without underlying muscle that can be +affected by poor circulation +often use headphones to listen to audiobooks when take walks After a few years of this +my ears hurt every time took off my headphones They were so painful one day that figured +would have to stop wearing them Frustrated with this cupped my palms over my ears and +bent them forward firmly This stung so spent seconds bending them in different +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +directions It ached but it also felt good When wore headphones the next day it was much +less painful Three more sessions like this and the pain was gone completely +With age and uneven use our tissues develop a condition called hypoperfusion This is also +known as diminished blood flow and is the reason my ears hurt Reduced perfusion of blood +can cause pain all around the body As you know pain exacerbates stress and drives the +production of cortisol so we should be finding these areas and massaging them +Hypoperfusion develops when tissues and organs receive reduced circulation due to +diminishment in the number of small blood vessels Pinching and bending my ears for less than +five minutes overall provided the mechanical deformation of the tissues necessary to stimulate +the creation of new small blood vessels angiogenesis All our hypoperfused tissues including +dormant muscles need this kind of tender loving care If it aches and itches target it further +want to encourage you to use compression percussion and vibration to address +hypoperfusion anywhere you can find it because it will scale down your stress +Drug Use Leads to Frailty and Chronic Distress +In my early twenties had between one and five alcoholic drinks on weekends a cigarette every +Saturday night and a cup of coffee most weekdays wanted to stop but couldnt help myself +When was taking them the drugs created the illusion of helping manage my stress Taking +them leads to relief because they mitigate distressed breathing for a few minutes but in the +long term they actually contribute to it It took me years to realize that even these uncontrolled +substances lead to compulsive use relapse after abstinence and physical dependence +Both nicotine and alcohol create a sense of euphoria that lasts a few minutes However +the accompanying withdrawal from even a single use can lead to minor dysphoria that lasts +days Whether you are aware of it or not this discomfort affects you emotionally and increases +your bracing shallow breathing and emotional distress never noticed the withdrawal +symptoms in my twenties but after developing sensitivity to my inner states discussed in +depth in the next chapter they became very apparent Alcohol withdrawal symptoms include +irritability fatigue shaking sweating nausea headache and difficulty concentrating +But these symptoms dont just affect alcoholics who go cold turkey They affect everyone who +uses alcohol in a dosedependent manner The symptoms of smoking cessation can be worse +Withdrawal from any drug robs a user of diaphragmatic mobility and believe the resulting +shallow breathing is a primary mechanism in addiction +When you use psychoactive drugs every week you experience fiendish cravings realized +that two shots of liquor made me feel fearless for thirty minutes and a cigarette extinguished +my anxiety for an hour but for the next few days the subtle pain from withdrawal made me +slightly more introverted and submissive Situations that would consider to be minor hassles +before became calamities that would make me think My God Ive got to have a drink When +you feel you need a cigarette is precisely when you shouldnt smoke Instead of masking the +pain work through it by spending some time with your breath metronome +Intense social interactions that go on too long create loads of tension Drugs amplify this +This is why after mixing the two otherwise known as partying you wake up feeling achy and +nauseous with a headache and stiff breathing It is also why rock stars and child actors often +burn out so fast You cannot consume caffeine alcohol tobacco or marijuana and hope to +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +keep your latent trigger points from flaring up in social situations Instead intoxication makes +you intensify your social displays without awareness of the increase in bracing +When people use drugs recreationally it makes them feel immune to social stress for a +short time This inevitably leads them to go too hard on their bodies It proceeds like this +as you work the room you strain your trigger points and chakras to the limit until you reach +the point of needing another drink or cigarette Using dulls the discomfort and allows you to +continue to push your chakras further deranging and abusing them Soon you are in so much +discomfort that youre turning to a third drink a fourth drink or possibly even harder drugs +Imagine that you badly strained your neck Friday afternoon Would you go to a party that +night drink and do drugs If you did do you think it would make your neck better or worse +Would you go to the party if you had a fever What if you were years old would you do it +then offer these hypotheticals to help the reader see that social drug use is characterized by +postural neglect zero muscle refreshing shallow breathing and mounting tension recently +heard a yearold friend who stayed up all night drinking and partying say something the next +morning that stuck with me As she practically limped to her car she said My entire body feels +bruised Episodes like this contribute immensely to frailty and muscle dormancy +Most recreational drugs legal and illegal increase dopamine making you feel eager and +rewarded Thus drug use pits two different sections of the brain against each other One finds +the drug stimulating and exhilarating while the other finds it depleting and impoverishing As +mammals we are designed to choose whatever increases our dopamine This is why for most +people the fleeting reward of drug use outweighs the longterm costs Drug use tricks the +brains pleasure centers into being delighted at the cost of tightening the vices around our +chakras In the long run it also saps our dopamine Within a couple of hours the dopamine dips +below default and the person feels understimulated and restless compelling them to want to +use the drug again Moreover studies show that longterm drug use can permanently lower +dopamine and serotonin levels +thought would always crave cigarettes and alcohol but diaphragmatic retraining +abolished my urges In fact studies have shown that paced breathing can help addicts maintain +sobriety Cigarettes and alcohol brought so much relief to me before but no longer did once +started breathing diaphragmatically believe that this is simply because there is little to relieve +now Instead cigarettes generally just make my body feel weak while alcohol makes me feel +slow and tired +There is a growing community of people who believe they can use drugs to achieve +spiritual entheogenic growth Sadly almost all these people are oblivious to their shallow +breathing while doing drugs For this reason most heavy trips are bad trips even if the person +does not realize it believe that if you want to do drugs you should only do them while paced +breathing Otherwise they will inevitably increase the extent of bracing going on under your +level of awareness Drugs should be used exclusively under the condition of complete +composure Under any other circumstances they will unhinge your emotional wellbeing +However hypocritically do recommend you take a drug for the following exercise +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +DeStress Activity Desensitize to the Sensations of Caffeine +Commit a whole day to observing your bodys reaction to caffeine Make or buy a caffeinated +beverage of your choice then drink some of it Caffeine taurine and other alkaloids increase +adrenaline and cortisol The caffeine will lead to the amplification of your discomfort the +activation of latent trigger points and the straining of various chakralike modules Lie down +and focus on these intense sensations They may involve buzzing crackling heat or cold and +they may come in waves Do not fight the waves If you breathe mindfully through the +twinges of pain convulsing your innards you will learn to control and dispel them Try going +to sleep in this state +If you are a regular caffeine consumer try to abstain from caffeine and perform this exercise +while being exposed to caffeine withdrawal symptoms instead Having encouraged you to +drink caffeine want to be clear Clinical studies show that longterm use of highly +caffeinated beverages can result in significant adverse health outcomes including cardiac +and psychiatric conditions For this reason strongly discourage the consumption of energy +drinks My subjective opinion is that caffeine should be kept under mg per day which is +the equivalent of one or two eightounce cups of tea +Several drugs including hallucinogens dissociatives and psychedelics can induce +temporary psychosis Profoundly disturbing states of nightmarish terror fear of overdose or +ultimate entrapment are commonly reported A bad trip is not physical and emotional pain +caused by a drug It is preexisting pain from bodily tension and latent trigger points unmasked +by the drug Being exposed to this and being badly and unmindfully distressed by it increases +trauma in the body However think that any bad trip can be reversed by minutes of paced +breathing Mental health specialists are searching for a treatment that can be administered to +patients shortly after an overdose panic attack or horrific trauma believe that deep paced +breathing should be used in emergency response and clinical settings because it has the power +to terminate these states and in so doing help block the formation of traumatic memories +have a friend who smokes concentrated THC every day smokes cigarettes hourly and +drinks between and drinks a night every night This sounds like a living hell to most +people But few realize that doing less than this is just a proportionately smaller version of that +hell have watched this womans good looks erode over just a few years Every time see her +the squinting and sneering are further entrenched She doesnt even do any hard drugs but the +poor gal is in constant displeasure and dissatisfaction driven by her withdrawal symptoms She +once described her pain to me as claws and teeth tugging at her internal organs and devouring +her from the inside out believe this is an insightful description of what it feels like to have +your chakralike modules saturated in inflammation and trapped in partial contraction +Video Games Violent Movies and Loud Music Contribute to Stress +Humans have a tendency to create unhealthy attachments to forms of overstimulation was +addicted to video games violent movies and loud music Just as with drugs we become +hooked on the dopamine and adrenaline they produce and the fleeting thrill causes us to +ignore the persistent lowlevel panic +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +Traditional huntergatherers had exceptionally low stimulation levels of the time +They were out in nature Today we plug into many streams of overstimulation that promote +thrillseeking and hyperarousal Videos of street fights epic fails people getting injured +combat sports horror movies and other forms of sensory assault are some of the most popular +videos online As with pornography these intense but damaging experiences make us +dissatisfied with our real lives believe that some peoples limbic systems respond to intense +media stimulation with the challenge response but think most respond to them with the +threat response +Social media use video games and the violent nature of modern movies and television +fragment our attention and foster a gambling mindset that causes us to become addicted to +shortlived thrills News outlets design the daily coverage of current events and politics to incite +negative emotions because it grabs attention Everything from unsolicited emails to our social +media feed to the nightly news report inundates us with shock confusion and consternation +Modern media has been documented to decrease the capacity for concentration discipline +and the kind of work ethic necessary to thrive in the modern professional sector +Almost any wild mammal placed in a nightclub or movie theater would frantically try to +escape Ironically these are the places we go to relax even though our innate senses want to +retreat from loud sounds bright lights and quick movement They keep our amygdala ringing +with fear Even childrens movies today are hysterically paced and feature constant calamity +and pandemonium A large proportion of children are incapable of breathing through their +noses under these conditions As we sit consuming popular media we hyperventilate sneer +startle raise our eyebrows brace our vocal cords and protract our necks As long as you allow +media content to impede your breathing pattern this is inescapable +DeStress Activity Disengage from an Action Flick +The next time you watch a suspenseful movie television show or video game carefully +monitor your internal reactions When the main character is risking their life and there are +big stakes notice how somewhere deep down inside of you you hold a conviction that says +Dont take a full long breath or else you will put the protagonist of the movie in jeopardy +Do you see how absurd this situation is What is happening to a fictional character in a film +should not adversely affect your breathing +The fear of breathing properly is our most limiting belief At the theater or on your couch +pull out your paced breathing app dim the screen and override this tendency as you +continue to watch While you witness the character experience peril breathe long slow +breaths You will be amazed by how this allows you to detach from and become desensitized +to the nailbiting worriment +When the diaphragm tenses it is like a turtle retreating into its shell It wants to hide +from loud sounds and fast movement When it is afraid it lies still in partial contraction When +it feels safe it ventures out While we consume entertainment media our tendency is to breathe +with the chest and freeze the diaphragm in place The diaphragm remains buried inside the rib +cage like the turtles head inside its shell This keeps the belly still During each inhalation +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +pay attention to the downstroke of your diaphragm Imagine it emerging from the bottom of +your ribs and pushing on the contents of your belly As you perform Activity above +you should have dozens of breakthrough moments where little by little you are able to +encourage your diaphragm to come out and play +As with drug use intense stimulation from modern media causes us to completely +disregard the panic signals our body is sending us Performing paced breathing while engaging +in these activities is an excellent way to learn to retain your composure as you are inundated If +you practice you will get to the point where you can breathe through your nose at five breaths +per minute in a loud theater digital firefight or clamoring nightclub for hours at a time Allow +me to point out that it doesnt matter which arena arcade or bar you are in if you breathe at +five breaths per minute or less you are automatically the coolest cat there +Most video games create suspenseful situations in which players must react quickly to keep +their character from being hurt or killed The simulated danger and time pressure recruits fast +acting areas of the brain such as the amygdala and basal ganglia to help perform the +hazardous button pressing These unconscious brain areas dont know they are just being +recruited to play a game They assume the actions are dire and so involuntarily activate the +sympathetic system This is why playing realtime video games can be affectively detrimental +Each decrement in the characters life bar causes startle and cortisol release Each startle +contributes ever so slightly to ones background hum of anxiety Moreover as you hold the +controller as with your phone or keyboard most of your major postural muscles are +completely braced and immobilized In a very real sense we are monkeys being terrorized +while handcuffed to the keyboard mouse or controller +Videogames have been shown to increase cortisol levels bolster aggressive affect and +reduce prosocial behavior Most of my friends who play video games act breathless and +panicked afterward driving them to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol during gaming breaks +Playing an hour of competitive online deathmatches would strip almost anyone of their +composure Over time this undermines autonomic balance In my twenties didnt realize that +loud violent entertainment was turning me into the stereotype of the highstrung geek +Many studies have shown that merely reducing television volume can vastly reduce the +sympathetic stress response to violent videos and games In general the louder the TV the +more frequently and intensely the amygdala is triggered and the more cortisol is released +Turn your speakers down a few decibels and you should notice that you feel far less uneasy +after a play session or an action movie We should also seek out activities that put us into a +state of flow and stimulate dopamine without stimulating cortisol What you are doing right +now reading may be one of the best Socialization meditation massage sex singing and +exercise are others +Some breathtaking things are good for us But we need to differentiate between the scenic +overlook and addictive trauma Overstimulating media tricks our bodies into thinking we are +preparing for tremendous amounts of exercise even though we usually consume it while sitting +on our backsides Rather than stewing in them use up your stress hormones by engaging in +physical activity +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +Conclusion Exercise Is the Best Antistress Tool +Perhaps the best antidote for stress is regular exercise There is an extensive body of research +documenting the many benefits Exercise bolsters selfesteem enhances body image increases +stress resilience and is an effective treatment for depression and anxiety Some studies +indicate that exercise may even increase life expectancy and the overall quality of life +There are many reasons to exercise +Health Benefits of Exercise +e Improves circulation efficiency and reduces blood pressure +e Increases pain tolerance +e Increases the number of red blood cells facilitating oxygen transport +e Lowers total cholesterol while raising good cholesterol +e Prevents bone loss and stimulates bone growth reducing the risk of osteoporosis +e Promotes weight loss +e Reduces risk for heart disease blood clots and stroke +e Reduces the risk for diabetes and cardiovascular issues +e Strengthens the heart muscle improves its efficiency and reduces resting heart rate +e Strengthens the muscles of respiration +Most people dont engage in daily physical activity because it feels uncomfortable +They assume exercise will add to their distress Its true exercise does lead to a slight increase +in adrenaline and cortisol This is why we must appraise the sensation of exercise as positive +stress a challenge and as under our control Moreover mounting a small stress response to +exercise repeatedly will diminish your stress response to subsequent exercise In other words +the more you train the less uncomfortable it becomes +Exercise involves the good type of stress that fortifies us against bad types It does this by +teaching the respiratory and cardiovascular systems how to handle heavy loads and recover +rapidly Also after exercise stress plummets For instance it is known that blood concentration +levels of cortisol rebound fall off abruptly On the other hand cortisol rebound after social +stress is sluggish and it wont rebound at all if it leads to rumination The next time you +find yourself overthinking an argument take a run You may find it wipes most of your +concerns away +Exercise is a potent antidepressant and anxiolytic that makes us feel significantly less +affected by unfavorable events The reason is that physical exertion whether aerobic or +anaerobic results in endorphin release Betaendorphin is a neurohormone released into the +bloodstream from the pituitary gland during exercise Endorphins attach themselves to +specific receptor sites in the brain that affect our perception of wellbeing and in large +amounts can even create the feeling of euphoria Endorphins are the bodys way of rewarding +us for exerting ourselves Endorphins not only give you a sense of pleasure they also suppress +appetite elevate mood increase memory retention and improve immune activity +Aerobic exercise results in the increased creation of new brain cells neurogenesis in the +same areas that lose cells in people with depression such as the hippocampus The +concentration of nerve growth factors like GDNF and BDNF increases with exercise +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +These proteins cause neuron branches to grow and make new connections They also reduce +susceptibility to degeneration It is no wonder that a sedentary lifestyle is a risk factor for +neurodegenerative illnesses in humans If you dont exercise to improve health fitness +or appearance then do it to increase the quality of your level of consciousness In fact +exercise has many positive biological effects on the brain +Neurobiological Effects of Exercise +e Boosts energy and reduces stress +e Improves brain structural connections +e Improves cognitive function cognitive control and various forms of memory +e Improves mental health increasing cognitive capacity +e Improves mental wellness by relieving stress tension anxiety and depression +e Improves selfimage and confidence +e Improves sleep quality +e Increases gray matter density +e Results in new neuron growth +Exercise enhances the feelgood neuromodulators while having none of the downsides of +overeating drugs alcohol or chaotic entertainment The endorphin release that occurs during +exercise is one reason why running around the block once or twice can make you come across +as highly relaxed before a meeting date or party The other reason is that it resets the level of +tension in your chest +Unspent negative energy will inevitably be funneled toward the bracing of your +diaphragm This makes it so that a tense claw powers each inhalation and exhalation +Intense cardiovascular exercise that requires heavy breathing forces you to loosen that claw +and expand the diaphragms range simply so that you can get enough air Additionally +when an exercise thoroughly works out your breathing musculature it will need rest +preventing it from reverting to its usual pattern of heavy tension In other words aerobic +exercise stimulates and strengthens the breathing musculature making it largely incompatible +with bracing the diaphragm +DeStress Exercise Unbracing Heavy Breathing +During intense aerobic exercise you should feel some degree of discomfort in your chest +Some of that discomfort is a normal part of heavy breathing but a large part comes from +breathing muscles that have been chronically braced The next time you perform aerobic +exercise like running jumping rope cycling or climbing stairs zero in on this pain You can +retire it if you just stop bracing the muscles responsible It is an anguished panicked reaction +to exertion that is unnecessary Part of this is an innate fear of pushing the heart and lungs +too far +While exercising imagine that you will have to keep up this high level of respiratory output +for the rest of the day To do this you would need to make your breathing as efficient as +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +possible Imagine resting in action accepting heavy cardiovascular demand and relaxing in +the face of it That burning sensation in the center of your chest and around your ribs will +fade away as you teach yourself to turn it off +Wolves and wild dogs often travel tens of miles daily while foraging They are designed for +sustained daily activity Dog trainers know that daily exercise is the most important aspect of +rehabilitating problem dogs This is because being deprived of activity without an outlet for +their natural energy increases neurotic defiant and aggressive behaviors Dismally many +people dont bother to walk their dogs Professionals dog behaviorists like Cesar Millan argue +that walking a dog for less than sixty minutes every day is abusive Millan walks his dogs ina +large pack for at least four hours a day He doesnt do this for their physical health as much as +their mental health How much exercise is enough for humans It isnt clear but many experts +and the US Department of Health and Human Services recommend at least minutes of +moderate aerobic activity every day would say that we should shoot for more like +You need a daily outlet for your natural energy just as much as any other mammal Every +day you skip cardiovascular exercise you are mismanaging your body and compounding your +stress social defeat and pain To stay motivated make your workouts fun varied and as +discussed in Chapter not too strenuous Listen to an audiobook a podcast or your favorite +music Become interested in and build skill at as many different forms of exercise as you can +Try out different sports gymnasiums and classes in your neighborhood see table below Ask +your friends if you can join them in their routines Dance and practice yoga every day Lift +weights using the antilaxity and antirigidity techniques Get out for a walk using the exercises +in Chapter Free yourself from that selfimposed kennel +elieleleaccleaktcmmm Cycling Cross Country Dancing Elliptical Hiking Jogging +Mountain Climbing Jumping Rope Rowing Running +Skateboarding Swimming Stair Climbing Trampoline Walking +Group Sports Badminton Baseball Basketball Boxing Cheerleading Cricket +Dodgeball Football Handball Hockey Lacrosse Martial Arts +Racquetball Rugby Soccer Softball Skating Skiing Tennis +Volleyball Wrestling +Group Classes Aquarobics Body Works Bootcamp Calisthenics Cardio +Kickboxing Cross Fit Dance Jazzercise JiuJitsu Karate Krav +Maga Muay Thai Pilates Salsa Dancing Spinning Step Aerobics +Tae Kwon Do TRX Turbo Kick Water Aerobics Yoga Zumba +Table Forms of cardiovascular and aerobic exercises to try +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Dont fear stress Apprehension of stress makes it more physiologically detrimental +e Wecan respond to stressors in a healthy way by considering them challenges challenge +response or in an unhealthy way by considering them threats threat response +e Whether your unconscious mind responds to stressors with the threat response or the +challenge response may be determined by the quality of your breathing +e Virtually all drug use leads to withdrawal symptoms that weaken you as a person +e People who mix socializing with drugs unknowingly brace various muscles and organs +for sustained periods +e Video games loud music and violent suspenseful entertainment lead to lowlevel panic +that can become chronic +e You are on no chill mode And you need to come off it +e Consider taking one day a week perhaps Sundays to unwind and remove yourself from +all worries work rushes and social conflicts A whole day of rest serves as a +macrobreak Committing of your life to restorative relaxation can make a huge +difference over time +e Regular exercise releases endorphins and enhances our mood keeping our minds from +running our bodies into the ground +e Anxiety is your bodys way of begging you for exercise +AAG +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +Chapter Endnotes +Ellis B J Jackson J J Boyce W T The stress response systems +Universality and adaptive individial differences Developmental Review +Wingfield J C Donna L Maney Creagh W Breuner Jacobs J D Sharon Lynn +Ramenofsky M Ralph D Richardson Ecological bases of hormonebehavior +interactions The Emergency Life History Stage American Zoologist +Marks Nesse R Fear and fitness An evolutionary analysis of anxiety +disorders Ethology and Sociobiology +Miller D B OCallaghan J P Neuroendocrine aspects of the response to stress +Metabolism Clinical and Experimental Suppl Sapolsky R M Krey L C +McEwen B S The neuroendocrinology of stress and aging The glucocorticoid cascade +hypothesis Endocrine Reviews Lovallo W R Gerin W +Psychophysiological reactivity Mechanisms and pathways to cardiovascular disease +Psychosomatic Medicine +LeDoux J The emotional brain The mysterious underpinnings of emotional life +Simon and Schuster +Bremner J D Does stress damage the brain Biological Psychiatry +LeDoux J Fear and the brain Where have we been and where are we going Biological +Psychiatry +LeDoux J Anxious Using the brain to understand and treat fear and anxiety +Penguin Books +Sapolsky R M Behave The biology of humans at our best and worst +Penguin Press +Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science +Sapolsky Behave The biology of humans at our best and worst +Sapolsky R M Romero L M Munck A U How do glucocorticoids influence +stress responses Integrating permissive suppressive stimulatory and preparative actions +Endocrine Reviews +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Nelson E E Winslow J T Nonhuman primates Model animals for developmental +psychopathology Neuropsychopharmacology +McGonigal K The upside of stress Why stress is good for you and how to get good +at it Penguin Random House +Brooks A Get excited Reappraising preperformance anxiety as excitement +Journal of Experimental Psychology +McGonigal The upside of stressWhy stress is good for you and how to get good at it +Glass D C Reim B Singer J E Behavioral consequences of adaptation to +controllable and uncontrollable noise Journal of Experimental Social Psychology +Minor T R Jackson R L Maier S F Effects of taskirrelevant cues and +reinforcement delay on choiceescape learning following inescapable shock evidence for a +deficit in selective attention Journal of Experimental Psychology Animal Behavior Processes +Sapolsky R M Why zebras dont get ulcers Henry Holt and Company +Gude D Hair loss A harbinger of morbidities to come International Journal of +Trichology +Testino G Leone S Borro P Treatment of alcohol dependence Recent +progress and reduction of consumption Minerva Medica +Elliott S Edmonson E The new science of breath Coherent breathing for +autonomic nervous system balance health and wellbeing Coherence Press +SanchisGomar F ParejaGaleano H Cervellin G Lippi G Earnest C P +Energy drink overconsumption in adolescents implications for arrhythmias and other +cardiovascular events Canadian Journal of Cardiology +Christakis D A Ramirez J S B Ferguson S M Ravinder S Ramirez J How +early media exposure may affect cognitive function A review of results from observations in +humans and experiments in mice PNAS +Gentile D A Bender P K Anderson C A Violent video game effects on +salivary cortisol arousal and aggressive thougthts in children Computers in Human Behavior +Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress +Anderson C A Bushman B J Effects of violent video games on aggressive +behavior aggressive cognition aggressive affect physiological arousal and prosocial behavior +A metaanalytic review of the scientific literature Psychological Science +Babyak M Blumenthal J A Herman S Khatri P Doraiswamy M Moore K +Krishnan K R Exercise treatment for major depression Maintenance of therapeutic +benefit at months Psychosomatic Medicine +Gremeaux V Gayda M Lepers R Sosner P Juneau M Nigam A Exercise +and longevity Maturitas +Boecker H Sprenger T Spilker M E Henriksen G Koppenhoefer M Wagner K J +Valet M Berthele A Tolle T R The runners high opioidergic mechanisms in the +human brain Cerebral Cortex +Anderson E Shivakumar G Effects of exercise and physical activity on anxiety +Frontiers in Psychiatry +Millan C Peltier M J Cesars way The natural everyday guide to understanding +correcting common dog problems Random House +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +Go to your bosom knock there and ask your heart what it doth know William Shakespeare +Beauty is not in the face beauty is a light in the heart Kahlil Gibran +Most of us are unable to localize the sensations of turmoil within our bodies They compel us to +harbor destructive thoughts and take selfdestructive actions though we usually have little +awareness of the feelings themselves This is especially true for the sensations from the thorax +and abdomen was mostly blind to the constriction in the various organs within my chest and +gut which was unfortunate because recognizing individual sensations and tracing them back to +their physical origin is key to disrupting them And so whenever you feel particularly stressed +take it as an opportunity to lie down and become immersed in the physical manifestations of +your worry Paying attention to the internal state of your body is called interoception This +chapter will teach you how to create an interoceptive watchtower from which to monitor your +autonomic space +Illustration A Digestive tract B Crosssection of the heart C Surface of the heart D Stethoscope +How to Find and Quell the Pain in Your Heart and Gut +Your brain receives a continuous feed of sensory information from each muscle and most +tissues in the body In the cortex this incoming information participates in and contributes to +your conscious workspace and train of thought Sensations of pain coactivate with whatever +else is on your mind and influences it to be more negative In other words pain twists and +distorts your thinking Most of us dont pay attention to these data streams and as a result +develop a conscious blind spot scotoma for them When you are blind to them they control +you without your awareness But if you work on cultivating interoception and combine this +with relaxed diaphragmatic breathing you gain the ability to send data back to these tissues +This feedback calms them while denying them a hold over you +The insula and anterior cingulate cortex receive many of the interoceptive signals your +body sends to your brain Neuroscientists think of these areas as pain areas because they light +up in a brain scanner when participants experience discomfort These two areas respond to +nausea stomach pain fullness air hunger food hunger sexual longing vibrations menstrual +cramps butterflies in the stomach shortness of breath and much more They also react to +social pain triggered by separation exclusion persecution or disapproval You should be able +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +to imagine these feelings You are imagining them within your insula and anterior cingulate +Inhabit these brain areas and watch the imagery that unfolds there nonjudgmentally +Focusing on the minutiae of your physical discomfort is the only way to rein it in As we +have seen bodily pain involves partially contracted muscles that have reached a state of +hyperfatigue By paying attention to them you can teach them to relax Search for constriction +pressure aching and tingling When you find them remind yourself that they are just physical +sensations They are nothing to fear they are fear itself Remember the corpse pose and +body scan activities that we performed in Chapter to search for skeletal muscle bracing +Well the next exercise will feel similar but focuses on bracing awareness for your smooth and +cardiac muscle your internal organs +Interoception Exercise Listen to Your Heart and Gut +Find a dark room where you can lay down on the floor and feel totally secure Bring a breath +metronome with you Bed down and try to relax completely Notice that partially contracted +and quivering muscles in your chest and abdomen keep you from being able to relax +Build as much mental imagery around these sensations as you can Imagine their location in +space Label where you feel them anatomically in your body Track their fluctuations in +intensity through time Notice how the separate modules interact and affect each other +Pay close attention to how paced breathing calms them Work on gaining bidirectional +control over these modules in the same way that you can alternate between tensing and +relaxing your hand +Learn to focus completely on the discomfort feeling it in its totality without panicking +bracing hyperventilating repositioning or giving in to the temptation to stop the exercise +This builds confidence in the face of internal tumult When you tolerate the discomfort and +are even able to feel comfortable relaxed and safe within it you are taking the major step +toward vanquishing it You are invalidating it by proving to your body that it is unnecessary +You want your body to believe that these pains have no informational value because they +contribute nothing to the way you should perceive your environment or the way you should +act within it +After several minutes lying in the dark focusing on your heart and gut you should +experience your body as a pulsating sea slug like the one we discussed in Chapter Ride with +the painful retractions dont fight them Depersonalize and detach from them Dont accept +them as part of yourself +The autonomic nervous system is composed of motor neurons that send messages to +involuntary muscles and glands It was long described as functioning below the level of +consciousness This is why medical researchers believed there was no way to deliberately calm +these organs Thankfully recent biofeedback research has shown that we can gain some +voluntary control over autonomic governance It has also shown that merely sensing these +pains is key to relaxing them At first you will find that many of the sensations am describing +are impenetrable to introspection This is because they are preverbal and nondeclarative +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +You dont yet have words for them and how they affect you But just because you cannot +articulate how they make you feel doesnt mean you cant feel them if you concentrate +Think about the aspect of you that is shocked when you are immersed in frigid water or +woken up by an alarm clock set too loud It should run down the midline of your body from +your neck to your lower spine by way of your chest and gut When you locate the physical +borders of this sensation you will have found your trauma core the cause of internal agitation +that makes you feel panicky unbalanced and demoralized Once you have found it console it +Usually you try to rise above the pain pretending that it is not there Dive down into it +Incorporate the meditative and mindfulness practices from Chapter into this search +While alone with your pain you will experience boredom and impatience It will make this +exercise frustrating until you realize that the boredom is restlessness stemming from the same +visceral unease you are trying to dispel Meditating on your bodily pain can be mundane or it +can be an exciting adventure if you approach it with shoshin Shoshin is a concept in Zen +Buddhism meaning beginners mind It denotes an openness curiosity eagerness and a lack +of preconceptions when exposed to something familiar Imagine yourself as a psychonaut a +sailor of the soul exploring your mind and body The more you map the territory and +understand the lay of the land the better you will control your emotions +Scientists know babies to be experts at selfsoothing They listen attentively to their +sympathetic nervous system We forgot how because as we grew up we realized that paying +attention to our internal milieu demands attentive resources And attention is limited Babies +cannot change their environment so they are forced to change their response to it They have +no recourse but to calm themselves Children and adults on the other hand learn to change +their environment and manipulate people to fix a situation Unfortunately by age five we think +that the best way to selfsoothe is to bring about an increase in our social standing You can +however revert to infancy bypass the ego and the social machinations and take a shortcut +straight to the center of the problem by confronting the tumultuous activity within your body at +its source +Cats often sit close to a wall and stare at it for minutes at a time used to think this was +absurd However since expanded my interoceptive senses find myself doing this sort of +thing frequentlystaring blankly at nothing It is not boring to stare at a wall if you are also +gazing into your visceral milieu The more time you spend surveying and relaxing the activity in +your spine stomach heart face vocal tract intestines and genitals the more you can cleanse +them with peace +Myofascial Release for the Gut +used to get regular pangs in my stomach during social confrontations These felt like electrical +shocks a few inches behind the belly button Such pangs are caused by the clenching of the +abdominals along with smooth muscle of the gastrointestinal tract They are responsible for the +sinking sensation in the pit of the stomach resulting in a strong predilection to submit You lose +all will to fight when intense gut pain kicks in +This visceral pain is due to the activation of latent trigger points resulting in the +stimulation of pain receptors in and around the digestive pathway These receptors span the +thorax abdomen and pelvis They respond to stretching swelling and oxygen deprivation +The areas are in chronic pain because they have been braced for so long Some experts believe +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +that irritable bowel syndrome and a host of other gastrointestinal problems are exacerbated by +bracing In the next exercise we will use compression to massage these bracing patterns away +Interoception Exercise Compressing the Internal Organs +Lay over a large firm ball and press it gently into your stomach A soccer ball volleyball or +basketball work well You can do this lying on the floor or in bed The easiest way is to stand +or kneel by the corner of a bed Place the basketball on that corner of the mattress and drape +the upper half of your body over it Either way you want to have good control of how deeply +you press the ball into your abdominal cavity It is important to be stable and comfortable +The discomfort that this causes in your stomach may be very intense at first Proceed gently +and focus on applying firm pressure to the abdomen from the bottom of the ribs to the +pelvis Pressure applied to the lower ribs will also help stretch and manipulate the +diaphragm You should notice that the tension in your stomach will not give in to the ball +unless you are breathing slow smooth breaths Relax pace your breaths and use abdominal +compression to unwind the vice clenching your innards +This practice pulls stress out of your body by its roots Once you use a basketball to rid your +midsection of the aching you will vastly reduce your potential for experiencing gutwrenching +pain The first time deeply compressed my abdomen was immediately reminded of the long +forgotten feeling of being kicked in the stomach in second grade This indicated that was +finding and releasing points of tension that had been harboring since early childhood As +continued the searing discomfort in my stomach caused me to have flashbacks to other long +forgotten traumatic episodes My brain was asking Hey are you sure its okay to relax the +abdomen to this extent given these memories When your brain asks you this question +reassure it that it is aokay This gut compression technique is powerful because if you can get +rid of the pain in your gut you will become far less susceptible to intimidation +The gastrointestinal tract from mouth to anus is feet long It is lined by a vast network +of neurons which form a regional administrative center This amounts to a miniature brain with +over million neurons This is more than the brain of a mouse which has around million +neurons This miniature brain is needed to perform various digestive behaviors with which your +mind cannot be bothered Chances are your guts brain has an anxiety disorder and it braces +the muscles it controls endlessly Compressing away its bracing patterns may be the best way to +communicate to this entity that there is no reason for it to be anxious +Heart Rate +The heart is another entity within your body that you need to convince to loosen up and +simmer down Like the gut the heart has its own neural network containing over +neurons This is less than a fruit fly but more than a snail This minibrain +allows the heart to perceive and process information make decisions and even demonstrate a +form of learning and memory More than likely your hearts brain like your guts brain has +become convinced that your environment is lifethreatening We need to trick our hearts into +believing the opposite +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +The heart is a hollow muscular organ that uses repetitive rhythmic contractions to keep +blood pumping through the bodys blood vessels Even some of the simplest invertebrate +animals have hearts Mollusks like clams arthropods like insects and even many types of +worms have them Some animals even have multiple hearts The human heart beats slightly +more than once every second about times per day as many as billion times over +ones lifetime Each beat is powerful enough to send blood spurting up to three meters if +the aorta is severed Every hour it dispenses around gallons of blood Thats gallons +per day It works relentlessly It works so much and so hard that it is imperative that it +works efficiently +The heart is composed of a special type of muscle called cardiac muscle which operates +involuntarily Unlike skeletal muscle and the smooth muscle of the gut the heart muscle is +myogenic which means that it can contract and relax without any input from the brain It +accomplishes this coordination of contraction and relaxation through the sinoatrial and +atrioventricular nodes These pacemakers are controlled by the sympathetic and +parasympathetic systems which act as accelerator and decelerator respectively A heart that is +biased toward acceleration is inefficient In a sense your lifes trauma is manifested to the +extent that your heart beats faster than it should This is expressed in the following formula +Your current heart rate Your optimal heart rate Accumulated life trauma +The average resting heart rate is to beats per minute Stress and anxiety cause the +heart to receive too much adrenaline which increases heart rate Chronically high levels of +circulating adrenaline cause tachycardia meaning that the heart beats at an unsustainably +fast rate There is a single maximally efficient heart rate for your body size and body +composition Unfortunately because nearly all humans are inveterate worriers our hearts beat +well above this optimal rate Clinically tachycardia is defined as a resting heart rate above +beats per minute but most of us are on a tachycardia continuum Even though your heart +rate may be well under beats per minute it is likely above its optimal rate +Elevated heart rate is perhaps the most detrimental form of sympathetic upregulation +Technically it is a type of stress cardiomyopathy Aggression anger hate fear guilt violence +and drugs all push your heart further from its ideal pace The faster it beats the more fatigue it +experiences Fascinatingly the short rests between beats give your heart the microbreaks it +needs to regenerate its strength But if your heart is always beating quickly it misses out on +these breaks When stress is chronic the microbreaks are vanishingly short and the heart can +never rest The absence of downtime places excessive pressure on the muscles of the heart and +the surrounding blood vessels This becomes a neverending marathon during which the +hearts tissues accumulate physical damage Unremitting elevated rate forces the heart to +destroy itself It slowly tears its own tissues apart Chances are right now you are overworking +your heart +The strain of chronic accelerated heart rate causes morbidity Morbidity is the condition of +being diseased by ailments that reduce longevity It is the extent to which we have one foot in +the grave Morbidity from elevated heart rate excessive cortisol and stressrelated bracing is +eating your body and soul alive Watching that scary movie doing that line of cocaine and +throwing a tantrum against your coworker all contribute to terminal decline When the heart is +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +made to work harder than it should for extended periods it does not receive adequate oxygen +or nutrients and this can result in pain known as angina Heart pain and the accompanying +heart problems have been strongly associated with hyperventilation This provides you with +yet another good reason to breathe slowly and smoothly through your nose +Diaphragmatic breathing may be the best way to get your heart to assume that your +present reality is safe When you take deep breaths and override the bodys preferred +breathing style you may feel small bursts of panic and a strong impulse to switch back to +shallow breathing An acceleration in heart rate is partially responsible for this panic Resist the +temptation to revert to shallow breathing As you notice your heart speed up mentally +reassure it Hey theres nothing wrong Im just taking deeper breaths +As you breathe at longer and longer intervals your heart will try to warn you that what +youre doing is dangerous It assumes that you are ignoring the hostilities of your environment +and overriding its defense mechanisms This is why many patients relive past trauma while +performing diaphragmatic breathing in clinical settings In fact therapists ask their patients to +discuss the psychological associations that come to mind during abdomen expansion including +selfimage emotional release and vulnerability As you calmly and assuredly breathe through +these you heal yourself By teaching your heart that long deep breaths are safe you also teach +it that a slower heart rate is safe +Using a Stethoscope to Find Inner Peace +Because your ticker is overworked it hurts Nature programmed our hearts to transmit a pain +signal when beating at a higherthanoptimal rate It communicates to the animal that it is +functioning at a level of output that cannot be sustained indefinitely without serious functional +compromises The painful sensations emanating from your heart make it a fly drowning in +ointment This is the discomfort that we try to use liquor smoking shopping unhealthy food +risky sex and overstimulating media to cover up But because the brain interprets your hearts +pain as delocalized and diffuse you dont even recognize it as coming from the heart +As with the diaphragm normally you cannot hear or feel your heart consciously so you +are blind to your own nervous systems two most fundamental signals Heart rate controls and +modulates behavior in countless ways but for some reason nature decided to mask its rate +from our awareness We can only feel it if it is beating in response to intense fear or +excitement Even then we usually do not pay attention How can we follow our heart if we are +completely habituated to it +Spend and buy yourself a stethoscope online Use it as a direct line to your heart As +you listen to your stethoscope you will come to realize that your heart is like a fearful little +animal inside your chest Cravings for dopamine cause us to excite it abuse it poke at it and +sensitize it further to fearful stimuli However merely listening to it beat will desensitize you to +the negative sensations emanating from it +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +Interoception Exercise Listen to a Stethoscope to Desensitize +Yourself to Your Heartbeat +Find a safe place to listen to your heart with a stethoscope Place the bell in the middle of +your chest directly on the skin What is your first impression of your heartbeat Does it feel +uncomfortable Does it feel like it is beating too fast Many people feel that each beat is +accompanied by discomfort You can overcome this by practicing paced breathing while +being exposed to your heartbeat +Imagine that you are breathing in and out through the area surrounding your heart This will +focus awareness on the heartbeat Notice your tendency to switch to shallow breathing +whenever your heart speeds up Next notice how a particularly heavy or painful heartbeat +makes you switch from exhalation to inhalation Do not let these small intrusions control +your breathing Your inhalations and exhalations should be influenced by air hunger not by +heart rate +At first the pain of listening to my heart made me project my discomfort onto the +stethoscope itself felt like hated it Many people that have worked with experience this +too This happens because whatever you think about when you feel pain in your heart can +easily become an object of animosity Your mind will appraise this external object as the +problem transferring the pain onto it Stop the overreacting Face the pain Coexist with it non +resistantly Eat it with a knife and fork When started each heartbeat felt like a mousetrap +snapping shut inside my chest After several weeks of Exercise my heartbeat became the +pleasurable and uplifting thump of a drumbeat +As you listen to your heart try focusing on your interbeat interval This is the length of +time between successive heartbeats With time you will start to notice when two heartbeats +have a longer interval between them than the beats that came prior This is when you have +relaxed Other times this interval collapses and becomes shorter The interval will decrease +after a stressful thought Concentrate on making the interval as long as possible In doing this +you will be programming yourself for a slower resting heart rate and providing your heart with +a longer rest period +As you listen through the stethoscope notice that the sound of each heartbeat coincides +with a faint feeling in your chest The stethoscope makes this invisible sensation apparent This +pairing constitutes a form of biofeedback that allows you to understand what your heartbeat +feels like so that you can recognize it in the future even without the auditory cues of the +stethoscope This will help you develop a sense of how fast it is beating Youll be able to +compare the magnitude of the stressors in your environment to the rate of your heart to +determine whether the two are commensurate You should find that your heart is beating in a +way that is out of proportion with most experiences Unless you are having lots of fun or getting +lots of exercise you can allow your heart to beat as slowly as possible +You can use breathholds like those in Exercise to accentuate the sensations coming +from your heart Studies show that meditative breath holding makes participants more aware +of their heartbeat and helps them calm the sympathetic nervous systems reaction to it by +activating the vagus nerve +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +The more time you spend listening the more you will ask yourself There is nothing here +for me to be afraid of so why does it hurt and why is it beating so fast This is the magic +question and if interrogated enough you will have an emotional epiphany that only this +experience can provide Repeatedly inhaling smoothly through several heartbeats in a row +then exhaling through several in a row teaches the heart and your psyche to let go of trauma +recommend performing diaphragmatic breathing for at least five minutes every night before +bed with your stethoscope on find this helps me fall into a deep restful sleep +To Overcome Rapid Heartbeat You Must Overcome Fear of Death +Think of the life you have lived until now as over and as a dead man see whats left as a bonus and live it +according to Nature Love the hand that fate deals you and play it as your own for what could be more fitting +Marcus Aurelius +Interoceptive exposure to your own heart can be dreadful In attending it you will come face to +face with your instinctual fear of death Fear of dying perpetuates much of your hearts +unnecessary exertion The way to escape this situation is to reach full peace with the idea of +dying Do it now Die before you die Then you will have already done it and wont have to +spend a lifetime in fear of it The pain in your heart warning you of impending death will no +longer be informative +Meditate on your mortality Take the time now and convince yourself that you have had a +good life that you have done many worthwhile things and if you were to have a fatal heart +attack this instant you would still feel whole complete and satisfied with your time on the +planet In Hinduism it is common to look forward to death and the liberation it brings is known +as moksha Death is thought to release us from our mundane mortal minds and introduce us to +our permanent essence Moksha and the concepts in the next activity helped me come to grips +with my own eventual demise +Interoception Activity Embrace Your Eternal Nature +have recently found some consolation in the idea of the eternal moment and hope you +can too Modern theoretical physicists as well as philosophers differentiate between +presentism and eternalism The adherents of presentism see the present moment as the only +time that is real They figure that if something happened in the past it is over now +nonexistent and generally unrecoverable Eternalists on the other hand believe that all +moments in time are equally real Eternalists believe that there is no objective present and +that our subjective sense that the past is gone and irretrievable is illusory prefer eternalism +Eternalism is sometimes referred to as the block universe theory because of its description +of spacetime as an unchanging fourdimensional block If you apply this to the human +condition it tells us that all existence in time is equally valid Therefore if you existed at all +you will always exist In other words time is a dimension that our experience is embedded +within but if you could move outside of time and look down on it you could see the entire +timeline and all of your human existence any second of which is just as legitimate as any +other So every one of the moments you ever experienced every decision and every +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +thought may be eternal happening right now and recorded somewhere in an immutable +temporal continuum This may all sound pretty abstract but why not let it give you some +comfort if not let it make you feel immortal +Allow me some poetic license for the next two paragraphs +We dont fear or mourn the billion years of nonexistence before our birth Why should we +fear the trillions of years that will come after our death We shouldnt especially because +we will continue on in a different form As denizens of planet Earth we are part of the +universe In a very real sense our conscious minds are manifestations of the universe +experiencing itself After we die the universe doesnt die And so we should recognize our +larger identity that we are not only intertwined with all of reality but we are all of reality +There will be an end to our human story and our mortal melodrama However death is not +final We are recycled back into the biosphere resubsumed by the cosmos The matter and +energy that was us will be and already has been transformed into other things Things that +will inevitably interact with the repercussions of the good deeds we performed while alive +Every atom that has ever been a part of you every molecule you have eaten drank or +inhaled belongs to a larger more beautiful system Even the nonmaterial information in your +brain body and DNA belongs to this system Your cerebral cortex will decompose But we +dont need the autobiographical memories inscribed in our brains neural networks to persist +meaningfully You are not merely the character that you have played in your short lifetime +Like a person reading an engrossing novel dont get so wrapped up in your lifes narrative +that you forget your larger role your more permanent selfhood We are much more than a +bag of bones flesh and ego Think of death as an expansion of your sense of being In playing +a part in the macrocosm we are it We are other people we are the birds bees and black +holes You wont fear death if youre aware of your larger eternal identity +was dragged around by a large Rottweiler as a fouryearold The dog grabbed me by the +hood of my jacket and pulled me around a backyard forcefully for a few minutes believe the +dog assaulted me because didnt act afraid of it While the dog was dragging me realized +that might die or be badly hurt felt that if surrendered it might let up Because was +cringing and my heart was racing my body language caused the dog to sense that submitted +and that it won It stopped shortly thereafter It is common for dogs to stop attacking people +that fully capitulate Frightful situations like this one impel an archetype deep in our nervous +system Full submission can save me from death +The ultimate source of submissiveness is that we feel the need to display fear of physical +attack so that our attacker will decide to be merciful We are afraid that if our heart stays slow +and calm our persecutor will kill us for our insolence This is because when our heart speeds +up we involuntarily choke up tremble and give numerous other nonverbal signals of submission +We must renounce the belief that submissive fear will buy us leniency To do so imagine +being viciously attacked by a stranger or a predator Neither panic nor submit Simply imagine +yourself swiftly but calmly taking the steps needed to extract yourself from the danger +Imagine someone or something trying to kill you while you retain total peace Your tormentor is +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +stabbing you and you speak to them plainly and honestly while forcefully grabbing the wrist +that holds the knife The beasts are taking bites from your body and you deftly deliver carefully +placed blows to their noses Your attitude need not be defiant or combative It must simply be +valorous and lionhearted Right now commit to dying fearlessly +Chronic accelerated heart rate is a state of vigilance guarding against impending death +But we generalize this to everyday life by resorting to high resting heart rates with our bosses +friends and family We are living as if we are about to die Using the stethoscope you are +feeling the very essence of your apologetic submissiveness Know that your racing heart is not +helping to keep you alive Rather it is keeping you in the land of no tomorrow Surrendering +your cardiac unrest will extract you from a world of death struggle for survival and animals +ravaging and annihilating each other +The next time you feel your heart beating out of your chest focus on it Accept it +befriend it love it It is not there to hurt you It is literally giving you energy and power Within a +few moments you can transform that throbbing feeling of impending doom into motivation +People with anxiety tend to be afraid of the sensations involved in stress Dont let adrenaline +scare you Desensitize yourself to the discomfort by not overreacting to it as you did in +Exercise Learn to delight in it and feel comfortable in uncomfortable physiological states +Rather than being afraid of the energy think about how you are going to channel it +Vigorous exercise can raise your heart rate to around its maximum But when you exercise +vigorously you dont feel crushed by panic Instead you feel vitalized It feels normal for your +heart to speed up during exercise But when your heart speeds up in the absence of exercise +you become afraid When this happens tell yourself that your body preparing for exercise is +nothing to fear The more you exercise the more comfortable you become with the sensations +involved in rapid heart rate Keep in mind that athletes have lower resting heart rates often as +low as to beats per minute Consistently training the heart muscle causes it to push more +blood out with each beat meaning that it does not need to beat as often The more exercise +you get the slower your heart will beat +Take the warrior approach to panic Luxuriate in the thumping Instead of causing you to +withdraw in resignation the beating should make you approach in ascendency As discussed in +the last chapter appraise it as rising to a challenge rather than descending to a threat +Afterward if you need to take a run around the neighborhood to burn up any remaining +negative energy +Vagal Tone is a Measure of Calm +This section and the next will introduce two more medical concepts vagal tone and HRV They +add detail to the present discussion and highlight the physiological benefits of paced breathing +Vagal tone is a measure of the activity of your vagus nerve the nerve responsible for +calming you The vagus nerve transmits a relaxing signal from the brainstems medulla +oblongata to much of your body This large diffuse cluster of nerves branches out from the +brainstem down to the bladder affecting several organ systems along the way It affects +the heart spleen bronchioles lungs stomach pancreas liver gall bladder intestines +ureters and more +The vagus nerve also connects the heaas brain with the guts brain and the hearts brain +It calms them Its name comes from the Latin word vagus meaning vagrant or wanderer +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +because it is so long and has so many branches The activity of this nerve calming multiple +organ systems is called vagal tone High vagal tone is associated with autonomic balance +emotional stability lowered inflammation and better cardiovascular health Low vagal tone +causes the opposite +Illustration Path of the vagus nerve from brain to intestines +Interoception Exercise Compressing the Internal Organs +Lay over a large firm ball and press it gently into your stomach A soccer ball volleyball or +basketball work well You can do this lying on the floor or in bed The easiest way is to stand +or kneel by the corner of a bed Place the basketball on that corner of the mattress and drape +the upper half of your body over it Either way you want to have good control of how deeply +you press the ball into your abdominal cavity It is important to be stable and comfortable +You should also try using your fingers to press into your abdomen Situate your hands as in +the illustration below Press your fingertips into your belly especially the area around the +belly button Anywhere that burns lightly should be massaged Compress release repeat +You do not want to do any damage to your internal organs You can use static compression or +active percussion but either way press carefully This is much slower firmer and deeper +than the abdominal percussion from Exercise +Many athletic coaches and trainers recommend a similar gut smash technique to mobilize +the abdominal muscles Some massage therapists call it visceral manipulation People are +using it safely However this technique like many of those in this book has not been tested +on large populations in medical studies A certain proportion of people may seriously injure +themselves using it Again as with all Program Peace exercises you should discontinue and +seek medical counsel if you have any discomfort after performing the exercise +The discomfort that this causes in your stomach may be intense at first Proceed gently and +focus on applying firm pressure to the abdomen from the bottom of the ribs to the pelvis +Pressure applied around the lower ribs will also help you manipulate the diaphragm You +should notice that the tension in your stomach will not give in to the massage unless you are +breathing slow smooth breaths When it does it should feel warm pleasurable and relieving +almost like voiding a full bladder Relax pace your breaths and use abdominal +compression to unwind the vice clenching your innards +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Illustration Visceral massage gently reaches into and compresses internal organs +Mammals have a unique branch of the vagus nerve that supports social engagement +It connects with the larynx to modulate your tone of voice and with the head to make facial +expressions emotionally appropriate When active your vagus nerve makes your voice and face +friendly and approachable When it is at its most active your voice relaxes and you may notice +an improved ability to use melody and prosody When the vagus nerve is active we enjoy a +physiological state that supports spontaneous social engagement and intimacy We feel +outgoing rather than introverted and vibrant without being overly aroused As you might have +guessed the vagus nerve is a pivotal component of the parasympathetic system and is largely +responsible for lowering heart rate breathing rate and blood pressure Vagal tone decreases +heart rate by inhibiting the firing rate of the sinoatrial node the hearts pacemaker Vagal tone +also acts through the phrenic nerve to slow and smoothen the strokes of the diaphragm +When it is active you stop bracing stop feeling the need to send submissive displays and regain +your composure +Low vagal tone makes you feel irritated and restless Vagal tone is reduced when the +amygdala sounds its alarms Many people who live lonely lives also have shorter lives This may +be because loneliness is associated with chronic low vagal tone High vagal tone is the calm +pleasurable feeling you get when petting an animal taking care of small children or looking +after a loved one High vagal tone is correlated with purpose love friendliness compassion +affection and tenderness If you have felt these things before then you know exactly what +vagal tone feels like Imagine that you can feel this branching structure inside you descending +from your emotional brain down to your heart gut and diaphragm You want it to feel warm +and fuzzy as often as possible Allow this feeling to help you debrace +Vagal tone decreases with distressed breathing and increases with diaphragmatic +breathing Slow deep breathing is one of the best ways to stimulate the vagus A range of +biometric responses indicates this For instance diaphragmatic breathing elevates hand +temperature reduces electrodermal response reduces highfrequency beta brainwaves +and increases calming alpha brainwaves It also increases heart rate variability which is our +next topic +Heart Rate Variability HRV +Want to know your level of vagal tone Unfortunately directly measuring vagal tone requires +inserting electrodes into the nerve to test its level of activity Since that requires invasive +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +surgery scientists indirectly but accurately measure vagal tone using the bodys ability to +synchronize heart rate and breathing This is known as heart rate variability or HRV +The concept of HRV along with its relationship to health and relaxation is strongly +scientifically supported and it has become prevalent in stress reduction and selfimprovement +circles The idea is that during negative emotions the hearts rhythm is erratic and disordered +resulting in low HRV During positive emotion the hearts rate increases slightly during +inhalation and decreases during exhalation This equates to high HRV Many +psychophysiologists call this ordered pattern coherence +Heart rate variability is used as an index to measure autonomic imbalance due to trauma +When high it is considered a marker of stress resilience Vagal and HRV dysregulation are +among the main clinical features of complex traumatic syndromes following earlylife +relationship trauma Calm infants have high vagal tone and high HRV They tend to be less +irritable than other infants and have a secure attachment to their mothers Children with high +vagal tone and high HRV have less social inhibition improved mental health and better +emotional regulation +Having a higher HRV is associated with a healthier cardiovascular system improved +executive brain function decreased stress increased immune function improved mood +and overall greater health and longevity HRV declines with age and predicts future health +problems People with relatively low HRV are less likely to recover after a heart attack +Low HRV amplitude correlates with a highly elevated risk of sudden cardiac death coronary +heart disease and mortality from a range of causes +There are accepted ways to raise your vagal tone and HRV First stop obsessing and +ruminating about negative things Studies have found that daily worry is strongly associated +with low HRV Science also recognizes that you can increase HRV by focusing on happy +thoughts deliberately curtailing anger and exercising regularly But there is another way +You can increase your HRV through biofeedback To do this you can purchase a pulse +sensor and the accompanying software for your computer or mobile device The application +shows your heart rate variability and positively reinforces you for bringing it into coherence +This HRV biofeedback has been shown to decrease depression anxiety and stress Take a +guess at how these electronic devices coach you to raise your HRV They do it by providing you +with a breath metronome Breathing deeply at long intervals is effective at increasing HRV +want to encourage you to look into them but you probably dont need to buy an HRV +biofeedback device believe that the paced breathing regimen set out in this book can +dramatically improve your HRV +Many scientists believe that heart rate variability is maximized at around five breaths per +minute ie fivesecond inhalations and sevensecond exhalations Breathing deeply at this +rate allows your heart rate to drop to beats per minute at the end of every exhalation +This drop in heart rate during exhalation gives your heart the microbreak it needs to regenerate +properly and beat sustainably Breathing shallowly at something like breaths per minute +decreases HRV by keeping your heart rate from dropping with every exhalation sacrificing the +critical rest period +Bracing the diaphragm during the exhalation may also cause us to miss that rest period +Breathing Exercise asks you to allow your diaphragm to go limp throughout each exhalation +After you do the work of inflating your lungs the air pressure itself should do the work of +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +deflating them believe that allowing your lungs to deflate passively during exhalation may not +only give your breathing muscles a short respite but may also allow your heart to slow down +during the exhale increasing HRV +The relaxing effects of paced breathing on the heart are also seen in blood pressure +Several experimental studies have published results showing blood pressure to be reduced +when participants breathe at a rate of six breaths per minute with the exhalations longer than +the inhalations In one study paced breathing for merely minutes resulted in elevated +mood higher HRV and lower blood pressure Another study had patients perform paced +breathing twice a day for three months They experienced significant drops in blood pressure +that would be expected in an individual taking one or two blood pressure medications +Dont drive your heart like its a car that you stole Stop redlining downshift and put less +wear and tear on the vehicle +Conclusion +The commotion of distressed breathing causes so many sensations within your chest that it +completely obscures your heartbeat If you cant feel the pain in your heart you cant correct +its overreactions and they will continue to mount When you are ignoring the pounding in your +chest your body is going to assume that this is because your current situation is so desperate +Like running on a broken leg this should only happen during lifeordeath situations never ona +daily basis +Paced diaphragmatic breathing is so smooth and quiet that it allows you to feel your heart +beating in your chest In other words long deep breaths make your heart rate apparent to you +so that you can tell whether it is beating too fast and make the necessary corrections Of +course paced breathing with a stethoscope magnifies this even more Find the pleasure in slow +breathing find the bliss in a slow heartbeat and find the combination of the two as +nourishment +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +Chapter Bullet Points +e Interoception is the ability to perceive the sensations going on within your body +Developing interoception will allow you to learn how to unbrace your internal organs +e Preexisting tension in your abdomen combined with stress causes that sinking feeling in +the pit of your stomach +e Compressing your abdomen with a basketball will relieve this tension and make you +immune to gutwrenching episodes +e Your heart chronically beats too fast causing cumulative damage to it +e If you listen to your heart with a stethoscope you should be able to sense that it is +beating too fast and out of proportion with environmental demands +e Listening to your heart with a stethoscope while paced breathing provides a form of +relief that you cannot get anywhere else +e As you do this imagine breathing into and out of your heart +e Paced diaphragmatic breathing causes your heart to slow your vagal tone and HRV to +increase and your blood pressure to decrease +e Tell yourself that you are the kind of person whose heart beats slowly +e Your thought process is playing a game of table tennis with your diaphragm Your heart +is the ping pong ball Each time the ball strikes a paddle you have a heartbeat Right +now they are playing at a furious pace and none of the players are enjoying themselves +You want to slow them down You want them to be lobbing the ball to each other +keeping an easy volley going and having a fun noncompetitive game +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Schwartz M S Andrasik F Eds Biofeedback A practitioners guide rd ed +Guilford Press +Whatmore G B Kohli D R Dysponesis A neurophysiological factor in +functional disorders Systems Research and Behavioral Science +Longo D Fauci A Kasper D Hauser S Jameson J Loscalzo J Harrisons +principles of internal medicine th ed McGrawHill Professional +Ostchega Y Porter K S Hughes J Dillon C F Nwankwo T Resting pulse rate +reference data for children adolescents and adults United States National Health +Statistics Reports +Miller M A Association of inflammatory markers with cardiovascular risk and +sleepiness Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine Suppl +Clark A L The increased ventilator response to exercise in chronic heart failure +Relation to pulmonary pathology Heart Fanfulla F Mortara A Maestri R +Pinna G D Bruschi C Cobelli F Rampulla C The development of hyperventilation +in patients with chronic heart failure and CheyneStrokes respiration A possible role of chronic +hypoxia Chest +McKeown P The oxygen advantage The simple scientifically proven breathing +technique that will revolutionize your health and fitness Harper Collins +Porges S W DoussardRoosevelt J A Maiti A K Vagal tone and the +physiological regulation of emotion Monographs of the Society for Research in Child +Development +Porges S W The polyvagal theory Phylogenetic substrates of a social nervous +system International Journal of Psychophysiology +Lichstein K L Clinical relaxation strategies WileyInterscience +Elliott S Edmonson E The new science of breath Coherent breathing for +autonomic nervous system balance health and wellbeing Coherence Press +Jonsson P Respiratory sinus arrhythmia as a function of state anxiety in healthy +individuals International Journal of Psychophysiology +Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut +Thayer J F Brosschot J F Psychosomatics and psychopathology Looking up +and down from the brain Psychoneuroendocrinology +Appelhans B M Luecken L J Heart rate variability as an index of regulated +emotional responding Review of General Psychology +van der Kolk B A Pelcovitz D Roth S Mandel R S McFarlane A Herman J L +Dissociation somatization and affect dysregulation The complexity of adaptation of +trauma American Journal of Psychiatry Suppl +Luskin F Reitz M Newell K Quinn T G Haskell W A controlled piolet study +of stress management training of elderly patients with congestive heart failure Preventive +Cardiology McCraty R Atkinson M Thomasino D Impact of a +workplace stress reduction program on blood pressure and emotional health in hypertensive +employees Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine +Zulfigar U Jurivich D A Gao W Singer D H Relation of high heart rate +variability to health and longevity American Journal of Cardiology +KristalBoneh E Raifel M Froom P Ribak J Heart rate variability in health +and disease Scandinavian Journal of Work Environment and Health +Brosschot J F Van Dijk E Thayer J F Daily worry is related to low heart rate +variability during waking and the subsequent nocturnal sleep period International Journal of +Psychophysiology +Sutarto A P Wahab M N Zin N M Resonant breathing biofeedback training +for stress reduction among manufacturing operators International Journal of Occupational +Safety and Ergononics +Elliott S Edmonson E The new science of breath Coherent breathing for +autonomic nervous system balance health and wellbeing Coherence Press +Steffen P R Austin T DeBarros A Brown T The impact of resonance +frequency breathing on measures of heart rate variability blood pressure and mood +Frontiers in Public Health +Adhana R Gupta R Dvivedii J Ahmad S The influence of yogic breathing +technique on essential hypertension indian Journal of Physiology and Pharmacology +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +There is something at once sobering and absurd in the extent to which we are lifted by the attentions of others +and sunk by their disregard Alain de Botton +Competition Defeat and Brain Chemicals +For the last million years the dominance hierarchy has been the primary regulator of +primate life This requires monkeys and apes to spend a great deal of their mental energy +making estimates about how they stack up relative to each member of their group But how do +animals reliably make these sorting predictions As this chapter will explain it has much to do +with fluctuations in brain chemicals especially serotonin Animals that win fights or spats +increase their serotonin levels while losing animals lower those levels +In all of us serotonin contributes to feelings of wellbeing happiness relaxation and self +confidence It increases the expectation of social dominance and causes animals to stand up for +themselves When humans or primates take supplements that increase serotonin they have +reduced stress responses to external threats such as pictures of fearful and angry faces There is +reduced serotonin production in panic disorder generalized anxiety disorder and depression +In simple terms low serotonin causes the trivialities of life to terrorize us +In adult primates serotonin levels are more causally related to dominance than body size +or testosterone levels In fact dominant male monkeys have up to twice as much serotonin in +their blood as nondominant ones Similarly humans in leadership positions have higher +serotonin levels than their subordinates One study found that fraternity officers average +higher serotonin levels than other frat members The same pattern is seen in the military +where higherranking officers have more serotonin and in corporate America where higher +ranking employees have more and executives and CEOs have the most +When a dominant primate is overthrown usually after a fight its serotonin levels plunge +while the replacements surges During most exchanges between people there are few overt +hostilities Covert factors such as level of relaxation and verbal fluency determine each persons +relative status If you come across as tenser than the other person chances are you both +perceive this After the encounter your serotonin may lower while theirs rises Being snubbed +or getting negative feedback causes serotonin to drop as does becoming aggressive or angry +On the other hand successful social assertion results in the release of serotonin +Every primate in a troop knows its status relative to every other animal just as high school +students give remarkably consistent rankings for the popularity of their classmates In other +words our brains limbic system paints the world as one big popularity contest Whether you +think others perceive you as having high status is the decisive factor influencing your serotonin +level In other words if you believe others hold you in low regard your serotonin may stay low +Because our brains are wired to derive selfworth from others evaluations we need to push +back against our biology +Many social insect species are born into a caste either the aristocracy or the working class +However a mammal is constantly negotiating its status Do you want to be renegotiating your +rank every day for the rest of your life If not you will have to change your mindset You need +to develop a healthy sense of selfesteem that others cannot push around but also that doesnt +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +involve putting others down or even putting yourself above them What would it take for you to +have optimal selfesteem Lets explore that in the next activity +Serotonin Activity imagine Extreme Superiority +What would be needed for you to feel triumphant How would you feel if you heroically +saved the lives of every person on the planet and are now taking interviews on international +television Imagine that you have been the most charismatic person on earth your entire life +and everyone already expects effortless magnetism from you Imagine being the worlds +most famous superstar or the emperor of the galaxy Imagine being the undisputed boss +gorilla in a jungle full of tiny monkey friends Imagine being thousands of years old the oldest +soul and the wisest most centered person on the planet +Now imagine not being corrupted by this absolute power and being a calm measured +beneficent leader and protector How would all this influence you to hold your body and +face How would your bracing and posture be affected How would you breathe How +would it make you feel deep down in your gut and heart Inner peace at last Can you live +your life feeling this way without needing these outlandish scenarios You can +Serotonin and the Ego +For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled all those who humble themselves will be exalted +Jesus c BCE +The human ego is a specialized neurological system found in all primate brains that causes us to +analyze whether we should be more or less insecure and consequently whether our serotonin +should be lower or higher The monkey that thinks more about their place in the hierarchy has +more objective notions about their station and the social appropriateness of their actions +Consequently a monkey that is highly concerned with its ego may do well relative to the other +members of its troop Hence the ego is sometimes referred to as the monkey mind +In primates serotonin level is also a fertility indicator The most dominant males have the +most offspring Individuals that excel in statusseeking contribute more to the gene pool +Thus we are selfconscious and egoobsessed today because it was good for our ancestors +reproductive success But as modernday human beings we are not looking to maximize our +number of offspring or even our sexual partners What we really want is to be happy without +being controlled by our egos So again we are at odds with our biology +The egotistical thoughts that you experience are not you and you have little control over +them Realize that the negative conceited thinking going on in your head likely has nothing to +do with your aspirational self your true self These thoughts that you think are yours are +generated by your brains instincts to be endlessly competitive The social concerns you find +yourself ruminating about come from this monkey mind and the way it has been programmed +by the other monkey minds you have interacted with up until today The real you is not +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +concerned with reputation and comparison The real you who is now gradually taking over +your thinking process is not even interested +Because this instinct is so strong status is most peoples ultimate goal This means that +they have no overarching ambition in life other than to increase their sense of status relative to +the people around them Once you see this clearly you can become motivated to choose goals +other than the one that natural history selected for us To disconnect from your ego you must +stop feeding it Make your goal to starve it in the following exercise +Serotonin Activity Imagine Extreme Inferiority +Imagine being the weakest most poorly composed person on the planet Imagine that you +have been utterly rejected by your parents every friend and each romantic partner Imagine +that people have been turning away from you in disgust as soon as they see you for years +Imagine that you have been jumped and beaten by a gang of people more than a dozen +times Imagine that you were completely embarrassed in the most humiliating way possible +on a popular reality show and that it is now all over the Internet Imagine having a job in +which the patrons or clients treat you in a haughty and cavalier way Imagine constantly +being treated like you are less than a person +At the same time imagine being at complete peace with all of this Picture being a servant +without a chip on your shoulder a whipping boy with optimal posture or a mistreated but +evercheerful golden retriever Put yourself through the fire by imagining the most +denigrating scenarios you can and in so doing inure your psyche against even the harshest +flames Retain complete cool in these situations without letting them ignite your pain +In Activity asked you to pretend to be superior to everyone and then in activity +asked you to be inferior Surely we are neither But we can intentionally take the best aspects +but none of the negative aspects out of these two extreme scenarios see Table below +Unfortunately many people take the worst from both scenarios and develop a personality as +pernicious to themselves as others They can neither take criticism nor compliments well +They are boastful but also engage in abusive selftalk They love to argue with and gossip about +others but cant stand up for themselves when it counts They apologize when they shouldnt +and often dont apologize when they should Rising above this kind of behavior is as easy as +accepting your shortcomings and being comfortable and calm when confronted with them +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Best Attributes +Selfsatisfied confident assured +assertive effective powerful +honored content spirited +stately selfrespecting valiant +Dominant +calm courageous +Worst Attributes +Selfabsorbed pompous vain +egotistical bossy domineering +despotic privileged scornful +imperious contemptuous arrogant +snooty pretentious +Humble easygoing respectful +nonresistant meek +accommodating amenable +ingratiating patient modest +Inferior +uncomplaining unselfish +Wimpy resigned acquiescent +deferential obedient passive +compliant pliable servile cowardly +doubtful unsure shy timid +pessimistic rootless fearful +Table Take only the best attributes of dominance and submission +Our Brains Ration Serotonin +If animals are selfinterested survival machines then why dont their brains maximize serotonin +production It would undoubtedly be a simple adaptation Animals have not evolved to do this +because it would be dangerous to be a nondominant animal with a dominant mindset If you +are an animal losing a fight it is actually beneficial to lower your serotonin because it makes +you act submissive shielding you from further harm and retaliation When researchers +artificially raise serotonin in a nondominant ape it will act dominant Merely acting dominant +convinces the other monkeys that it is dominant but only for a few days Before long it will be +tested exposed as a pretender and likely injured in the process +Your mammalian brain does not release serotonin and other moodboosting chemicals +dopamine oxytocin and endorphins whenever you want It uses them to reward you for +accomplishing specific survival criteria It releases them in spurts when unconscious brain +circuits perceive an improvement in survival and reproductive prospects Most people are +frustrated by their inability to fulfill the stringent requirements used by their neurochemical +guidance system Frustratingly the criteria for attaining happiness chemicals are usually held +just beyond our reach making it nearly impossible to win and thus impossible to be happy +This is why using our cortex to try to pry serotonin from our subcortex limbic system often +leads to selfdestructive statusseeking +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +Illustration A One wolf left asserting dominance over another right with a threat display Note that +the teeth are bared the ears are flattened forward and the hackles are raised The submissive wolf lowers +its head presses its ears backward splays its legs and turns away to appease the dominant individual +B Similar body language is seen in cats C Amother chimp protects her baby +A signal that is constantly on has no informational value Consequently our serotonin +levels have evolved to fluctuate dramatically and subside quickly Humans spend their entire +day trying to boost their mood from a brain trying to ration the relevant chemicals for the +proper circumstances To transcend this we need to choose to feel satisfied with precisely the +amount of social power we already have By being fully content with whatever level of +dominance you currently have you give your unconscious the same level of security that comes +with being an alpha When other people see this healthy nondominating selfsatisfaction +they will instantly respect you +Changing your outlook on your wins and losses is essential Otherwise no number of +victories will satisfy your serotonin system for long Take pleasure in past accomplishments +no matter how old Think about all the hard work you have put in over your life and feel good +about it Focus your attention on the small triumphs you have every day Once you learn to +celebrate each win for a bit longer you will not find yourself hurried into the next risky scheme +for serotonin Rather than focusing on the most shameful or embarrassing moments +concentrate on the laurels that stick out in your mind We need to take responsibility for +coaxing our brains happiness chemicals to change rather than waiting on the world to change +Serotonin Abundance and Gratitude +all things work together for good Romans +Low serotonin promotes fear fleeing and submission in many animals from reptiles to insects +Even crustaceans such as lobsters utilize serotonin to establish hierarchy We share a common +ancestor with lobsters over million years ago This shows how ancient our status system is +In fact it goes back to worms +In the microscopic roundworm C elegans serotonin acts as a signal that follows the +discovery of a new grazing area When the worm finds food serotonin acts to slow down its +incessant burrowing and activates the muscles used for feeding Depletion of serotonin in these +little guys makes them act as if they were in a lowfood environment and causes them to travel +faster in their search for food It also suppresses mating and egglaying Across species +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +depletion of serotonin convinces animals that they are experiencing food scarcity This action of +serotonin caused scientists to reframe its purpose more broadly It is now conceptualized as an +indicator of the availability of natural resources +We have discussed how serotonin indicates social rank in primates but rank is just a special +case of serotonins broader significance resources Highranking primates have high serotonin +levels because they have priority over mating and food Just as with the worm serotonin +convinces them that it is okay to relax and take advantage of the opportunities available to +them In a sense primates are just hairy fourlegged worms whose social lives have grown +more complex Selfsubordination is just the strategy of a worm that has become convinced +that resource availability is low in the current environment +This knowledge enables us to easily sidestep status as a means for attaining serotonin +Instead we can go to the primordial root of serotonin release feeling like the resources in our +life are abundant The magic button for increasing your serotonin and happiness does not lie in +putting other people down It is found in cultivating gratitude by focusing on the resources +available to you +Scientists have found that gratitude stimulates the brains pathways involved in reward +social bonding and positive appraisal It facilitates the recording and retrieval of positive +memories Gratitude stimulates serotonin release the parasympathetic response and the +actions of the vagus nerve Feeling thankful counteracts tendencies toward social comparison +narcissism cynicism and materialism Lets accomplish all of this by expressing +gratefulness daily +Serotonin Activity Practice Feeling Grateful +What can you feel glad about right now What about the last year yesterday or the present +moment can you savor Fill any sense of scarcity or deficit by changing your mindset from +one of deprivation and neediness to one of abundance fulfillment and plenty Reminisce +about past achievements and cherish moments of joy and connectedness Treasure your +friends and family Feel appreciative of everyone in your life Imagine that you are a content +microscopic worm with all its needs met and not a worry in the world +Common gratitudebuilding exercises include thinking of one thing to be grateful for every +day writing a letter every week thanking someone who helped you or simply using the word +grateful during conversation once a day Exercises like these are some of the most effective +happiness enhancers known to psychology When you do this permit yourself to feel +enthusiastic starryeyed and naively idealistic +Keeping a gratitude journal has shown significant clinical benefits Simply writing down a +few things that you are grateful for one to three times per week can raise serotonin increase +life satisfaction and reduce depressive symptoms Gratitude journaling has been well +researched and validated far beyond anecdotal selfhelp Numerous studies have shown that +journaling for just a few weeks can create dramatic positive changes in brain activity that +remain for months The clinical results have been shown to rival those of antidepressants +The scientific justification for focusing on gratitude is so strong that it encouraged the +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +Program Peace Gratitude Journal which is available on the website But you certainly dont +need that to get started +Serotonin Exercise Make Entries in a Gratitude Journal +Locate a journal find a pad of paper or create a new file on your computer Start making +entries where you write about what you have to be grateful for Here are some questions to +get you started +What can you feel thankful for right now This could be an experience a conversation +a meal or the weather +Has someone done something nice for you recently List people you are grateful for +and explain why +What places are special to you +What have you learned recently that you value +What activities make your life better +What fills you with wonder +What do you have to be optimistic about +What have you accomplished recently that makes you proud +Has someone done something nice for you recently Have you had the opportunity to +help someone else +What are commonplace things you can appreciate right now +As you write allow the gratitude to permeate your body Make an effort to remember what +that feels like and how it affects the bodily systems we have been discussing in this book +thus far Remember this feeling take a mental snapshot of it so you can recall it whenever +you want +As a few examples you may find yourself grateful for the earth the moon the stars the +sun the ocean rain animals pets friends your talents skills and unique qualities setbacks +that have made you stronger your senses fond memories your favorite songs movies or +shows foods the marvel of electricity the worlds food supply and all the kind souls out there +feel especially grateful for the generations of people who made sacrifices for the rights and +freedoms we enjoy today as well as those who made the innovations that resulted in our +modern technology and our extensive knowledge base +Raise Your Serotonin through Cooperation and Creating Value +In primates domination of others is not the only way up Brute physical strength and fighting +prowess are only partial factors in determining status relationships Social bonds friendships +past feats and examples of helping others count as well Most primates will support or even +fight for those that helped them in the past This is why an open conflict between two primates +is usually decided by who has the most allies +It is also important to note that dominance does not equal influence The dominant ape is +often not the most liked or even the most influential politically Dominant primates have +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +fighting prowess boldness and a characteristic that ecologists call resource holding potentia +But this does not necessarily make them trusted or revered In fact the oldest group members +not the alpha are usually the most influential Apes will approach influential members to +moderate spats make decisions or seek comfort +Dominant individuals are fit to be revered to the extent that they serve the interests of +those that revere them If you want to be justified in being calm and nonsubmissive you must +promote positivity in the lives of those that allow you to remain so Thus the next time you +notice an urge to belittle someone remember that bonding with them instead will provide a +larger more sustainable neurochemical boost to happiness and esteem +Because our biological past also rewards camaraderie teamwork and solidarity with a +boost of serotonin there are many healthy ways to get an ego boost from others without +bringing them down Its our job to think creatively about positive ways to interact with others +rather than being destructive +It is usually the youngest and most immature of adult primates that are preoccupied with +establishing dominance Senior group members are less nervous greeting each other and are +more concerned with confirming partnership and cooperation than securing dominance We +love people who cooperate reinforce our confidence and raise our status Consequently if you +want to be loved and held in high regard then work on raising other peoples status in their +own eyes as well as in the eyes of others Offer valid and specific compliments help them argue +their point align your goals with theirs stand up for them laugh at their jokes and beam +zygomatic smiles at them +The higher a chimps rank the more likely it is to support inferior parties during disputes +High levels of serotonin cause us to have compassion for and side with the underdog +Dominant apes routinely break up fights usually intervening on the side of the weaker party +They especially defend the young the wounded and the old In many primates the alpha male +and female play a control role where they mediate equitably restoring peace and security +Interestingly it has been found that the most dominant schoolchildren tend to intervene in +playground fights protect losers and share more with classmates It appears to be some form +of natural noblesse oblige that we lose sight of as adults +Monkeys choose to share with one another frequently both in the wild and in captivity +However they do not share out of fear of reprisal We know this because the most dominant +monkeys are the most generous which is part of what earns them their increased status The +best way for lowstatus individuals to improve their status is to prove their value to the group +Similarly humans gain status by developing a skill that benefits the community This is why we +should be useful rather than pretentious and entitled Dont be the person working on their +wardrobe biceps or tan Instead be the person people go to for help with their problems +Dont focus on status threats Focus instead on expanding your influence and significance to +your community Gain status not from physicality offensives and violations but collaboration +contribution and earned esteem +Serotonin Inhibits Fear and Aggression +Serotonin makes many animals from a range of different taxonomic groups less fearful in +response to perceived threats Much of this is due to its actions at the amygdala the brains +fear center discussed in previous chapters By default the cells of the amygdala are quieted by +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +the inhibitory neurotransmitter GABA This makes it so that the brains panic button must be +pressed firmly for it to actuate This inhibition has been called the GABA guard It is why +something surprising must happen for you to become scared +Serotonin further excites GABAproducing cells in the amygdala increasing this tonic +inhibition and increasing your threshold for getting scared This is why antidepressants like +Prozac a drug that increases serotonin levels at the synapse decreases amygdala activity This +is also one of the reasons dominant animals are not unnecessarily aggressive Their amygdala +and sympathetic system are difficult to highjack The stress hormone cortisol acts in a way that +is opposite serotonin It inhibits GABA cells in the amygdala disabling serotonins ability to calm +the amygdala +Keep in mind that not only is the amygdala the brains fear center but it is also the area +most implicated in the initiation of aggressive acts Thus highstress animals are more +aggressive while animals with high serotonin levels are less aggressive This is why as discussed +in Chapter alpha individuals are not combative but friendly The alpha chimp grooms others +more shares more of its food and patrols the perimeter to keep its friends safe As you might +expect artificially elevating the serotonin in a monkeys brain makes it groom and share more +It is more capable of prosocial behavior because its amygdala has been bound and gagged +To me this strongly suggests that being stuck in fight or flight keeps us from acting altruistically +and civilmindedly +When serotonin levels are low animals show signs of being irritated The threshold for +taking offense drops and fatigue and crankiness rise Low serotonin chimps pick fights and take +unnecessary risks For instance monkeys with low serotonin are more likely to jump between +distant tree branches and lash out in anger Similarly studies have shown that lowstatus men +are much more likely to aggress by yelling insulting or using violence While these behaviors +are meant to increase dominance they often lower status because they result in estrangement +When you find yourself being aggressive acknowledge that you probably wouldnt be as +threatened if your serotonin levels were higher +Now you understand the neurological mechanism for why serotonindepleted animals are +more belligerent their amygdala overreacts to anxietyprovoking stimuli increasing their heart +rate and breathing making them feel cornered Low serotonin is one of the best predictors of +impulsive hostility in mammals Antisocial behavior in humans also increases with decreasing +serotonin This is why feeling rejected leads to aggression think the takehome message is +clear We should avoid destructive rank games We should comport ourselves with the +composure of an alpha monkey with nothing to prove in the company of equals Adopting this +as a lifestyle may be the most successful strategy to achieve sustainable happiness +The Healthy Dominance Mindset +Never depend on the admiration of others There is no strength in it Personal merit cannot be derived from an +external source Epictetus +When a baboon ignores the status hierarchy the members of its troop will kill it Similarly +if you flout the status hierarchy you could alienate yourself from others Therefore dont +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +recommend that you completely ignore or go against it do however recommend reinventing +yourself as a coolheaded alpha It all starts with a little imagination +It can be helpful to internalize the mindset of being everyones parent Parents usually feel +like they dont owe their kids submissive displays Given that a healthy parents dominance of +their offspring is not based on competition but on a desire to teach and guide imagine +yourself to be the Mom or Dad to every person in the world Im not asking you to patronize +people Just be as relaxed as you would be if everyone was your child and you were the only +adult present +You want to be a good parent even to a bad child In Japan mothering has been described +as patiently molding the intractable Children and infants can be inherently stubborn but this +is best countered by persistence and patience Even mother chimps reprimand misbehavior +without bearing any grudge They offer reassurance and comfort after disciplining their young +They do this naturally Use this philosophy with adults Adults can be as tricky and immature as +children but rather than aggress against them patiently mold them Be a father or mother +figure Like a good parent act permissive yet authoritative +Just as a good parent doesnt owe their children submissive displays neither does a warrior +owe their fellows submissive displays They are too busy either risking their life or resting +Take on the rugged exterior of a special forces commando a mythical god or a legendary hero +You have corrupt governments to topple and dragons to slay You have no interest in minor +squabbles and infractions When you are with friends envision yourself as a champion who has +just bested a mythical monster like the Minotaur Jabberwock Medusa or Cerberus Now that +you the gladiator are resting between feats you do not have the time or energy to raise your +eyebrows hyperventilate or smile nervously Feel free to rest between your heroic efforts +Given the chance you would do the selfless intrepid thing so take the heros poise and grace +for yourself right now +My Experience with Serotonin Supplements +What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of +him Viktor Frankl +used to be clinically depressed As a preteen cut myself with knives As a young adult put a +gun in my mouth on a few occasions sat on a story rooftop ledge intending to jump a few +times never followed through with suicide though would tell myself that wanted to tie up a +few more loose ends in my life before fully committed know what serotonin depletion feels +like and that a person is willing to do almost anything to escape it +have never been to a psychiatrist and thus have never been prescribed an antidepressant +but have taken an overthecounter nutritional supplement called SAMe It is similar to other +mood enhancing supplements like HTP Ltheanine and Saint Johns wort and is available at +most drug stores took SAMe for two months in my late s because wanted to find out +what high serotonin levels felt like wanted to experience happiness for a few weeks to +understand it and attempt to recreate it later after going off the drug Without question +it made me a joyous more composed personwhile it lasted +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +Like an antidepressant eg Prozac Zoloft Celexa etc SAMe increases serotonin +availability at the synapse In doing so it also fortifies the GABA guard mentioned earlier +inhibiting the amygdala It takes two weeks for SAMe to elevate mood appreciably but felt +that noticed changes with the first few doses felt lighter on my feet happygolucky and less +stymied by social concerns completely stopped worrying that other people might think that +looked too calm +After days of taking it woke up in the middle of the night feeling euphoric had been +slightly scared of the dark since childhood but suddenly felt completely safe in the dark +walked through my home without turning on any lights found myself sitting on the carpet in +the darkest places and reveling in my fearlessness stayed awake for three hours just walking +around outside in the shadows feeling intensely happy Interestingly even a single course of +antidepressants can end phobias lifelong bad habits negative quirks and antisocial behaviors +Since that night have not been afraid of the dark +That Wednesday night from to am was a vertiginous and ecstatic experience Nothing +remarkable happened and was all by myself but it was the happiest night of my life All my +social status concerns disappeared replaced by pure excitement for the things going on in my +life at the time didnt realize it that night but was filled with pure gratitude +continued to take the drug for six weeks On it was less abusive but more insistent and +decisive was demanding of people but direct rather than passiveaggressive so people +complied would say exactly what was on my mind without sugarcoating it People liked me +more respected me more and treated me like was charismatic was more personable +more outspoken and craved interaction instead of shrinking away from it +While on SAMe started making natural eye contact with people for the first time in my +life even sought out eye contact It came easily and my eyes didnt dart away was more +extroverted and started assuming leadership positions in group projects People also started +laughing at my attempts at humor despite my jokes not changing Confident delivery made all +the difference +When was on SAMe didnt talk or think negatively Bad experiences were very short +lived and didnt keep them active in my mind didnt trash talk others even in my head +Most of my previous insecurities felt like faint memories felt like such a different person +on SAMe that at one point asked myself Why were you so afraid of your friends and +coworkers before +would take one pill in the morning and then come home in the evening needing another +Sometimes would take one and then lie down on the couch and wait for it to kick in As the +stiffness in my brow jaw and sneer melted away could feel the tension in my mind slowly +evaporate This was my first clear indication that facial tension negative emotion and +serotonin all hold hands But the relief was not just in my face My whole body felt light and +easy as if all my trigger points had been excised wondered whether having increased +serotonin levels had healed them +Interestingly serotonin increases the threshold of activation for latent trigger points In so +doing it eases the chakralike modules in the body soothing you Its role in muscular relaxation +is why low serotonin is thought to be a major player in fatigue headaches gut tension heart +problems muscle pain joint pain and diffuse discomfort Now that couldnt feel the tension +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +was less neurotic For example increased serotonin levels are also known to curb nightmares +panic attacks and unhealthy eating and noticed these as additional side effects +A couple of months passed by and a fledgling business venture initiated with some +acquaintances turned sour So sour that felt gutted Within a month my hairline receded by at +least an inch realized that my underlying biological trauma had resurfaced from beneath the +artificially elevated serotonin felt manic anxiety for hours on end and had significant trouble +sleeping knew that mania was one of the listed side effects of SAMe and combined with my +preexisting anxiety it was unbearable went off the drug As the mania went away the +depression crept back in along with all the previous muscular tension The experience showed +me that serotonin does not fix or heal the brain It just alters it temporarily Similarly it does +not fix trigger points or heal chakras It merely subdues them allowing our behavior to be less +affected When went off SAMe noticed my body trembled It was substantial and realized +had to do something about it +Dont Let Yourself Tremble +In the last chapter mentioned a friend of mine who was a drug addict She had a small kitten +that she played roughly with She would squeeze it and tease it and swing it around Some +aspects of this play were pleasant to watch at times but other elements bordered on abuse +At one point she asked whether thought she played too roughly with it The kittens +interminable trembling answered her question for me With beautiful pained eyes this little +furball was constantly glancing around skittishly It shuddered even when standing still startled +at every sound and grew into the most nervous cat have ever seen The truth is the owner +herself trembled and probably wanted her small friend to share her weakness +Muscle trembling is a sign that an animal is under duress It is related to the startle +response discussed in Chapter and similarly signals submission It results in a shaking +quaking and shuddering that makes us feel weak in the knees Chronic distress and social +defeat cause trembling to become more pronounced It is quite common for the runt of the +litter to tremble because it rarely wins in competitive play and often has the lowest serotonin +of the group Trembling destroys fluid measured movement as well as timing and rhythm +It occurs all over the body not just in the voice and hands Dormant or partially contracted +muscles frequently tremble because those muscles can neither relax nor fully contract +making them susceptible to shaking involuntarily between these extremes +When a poorlysocialized Chihuahua is placed among bigger dogs it tends to tremble more +than usual We are all shaky Chihuahuas whether it is perceptible or not Also we tremble for +the same reason to keep others from being threatened by us Trembling goes on in the +background and usually becomes apparent under duress by old age or after a heavy workout +You may think you dont tremble but may notice it when performing small fluid movements +like knitting This is why urge you to spend time focusing your awareness on trembling in an +attempt to get ahold of yourself Working out with light weights Chapter and performing +antilaxity while slow breathing will firm your grip +The slower you move the easier it is to iron out trembling flinching and startling +Mosh Feldenkrais the founder of the Feldenkrais exercise method propounded the idea that +practicing slow movement is essential to grace and psychological wellbeing This general +philosophy dates back hundreds of years to Taoist and Buddhist monasteries and the art of tai +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +chi Tai chi is a superb practice that will smooth your movements and help you tremble less +Some forms encourage you to move mindfully as a needle in cotton and develop the ability +to leverage joints using coordination and relaxation rather than tension strongly encourage +you to take a tai chi class even if you do it from home using free internet tutorials +Serotonin Exercise Take a Class in Tai Chi +Sign up for a tai chi class or simply follow a beginners instructional tutorial video on the +internet Practice the movements and motions while trying to move as smoothly and +gracefully as possible Your motions should feel relaxed fluid frictionless and occur at a +constant rate It can help to act as if there is a slight resistance to every movement as if you +were in a pool of water When you stop bracing notice how you can move more steadily +Sense your body and be present within it +You should be able to concentrate so deeply on even tensionfree movement that your +stream of thought evaporates To do this you must activate very primitive brain structures +Every second of mindful nontrembling movement teaches them that slow steady +movement is safe and wont be misconstrued by others as an attempt at intimidation +Remember that prey rush Predators do not rush because they do not feel threatened or +pressured Move at an unrushed pace that is selfdetermined and centered on unshakable +inner confidence While you practice use the tenets of diaphragmatic breathing optimal +posture and antirigidity +As you become better at diaphragmatic breathing you will become more aware of your +preexisting tendency to tremble Focus selectively on each tremor you notice and try to soothe +it Certainly dont incorporate trembling into purposive movement Dont allow your fingers to +fumble as you use your phone button down your shirt or zip your purse Slow down every +movement and engineer it for precision Hurried hasty movements require bracing ruining +composure and finesse It takes patience to eliminate trembling and establish flowing dexterity +Imagine moving like a sloth slowly deliberately and mistakefree Just like paced breathing +irons the apneic disturbances out of your diaphragms tidal range slow purposive movement +will iron the discontinuities out of your actions +Use Dominant Gestures +Dominant people with high serotonin naturally use commanding gestures Dominance is +conveyed preemptively by actions indicating strength comfort and fearlessness Simply +practicing and automating these gestures will increase your nonverbal dominance thereby +increasing your serotonin Lets get into the specifics Dominant people have towering posture +whereas submissive ones try to hide their height Dominant people lean toward others and +approach others directly rather than haltingly and uncertainly Dominant people initiate +increased proximity more handshaking and a higher frequency of touching So put your arm +around people touch their hands slap their knees rest your arm on their shoulders and strike +their backs when you embrace them +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +As far as general posture we have already discussed retracting the neck flexing the glutes +pressing the hips forward and looking upward among many others When standing place your +feet at least shoulder length apart and dont fidget Refrain from folding your hands in front of +you placing them in pockets or using them to cover your genitals Because submission is +conveyed by the lack of hand movements and hidden hands gradually work more hand +gesticulation into your speech +Bring your hands into full view dont brace them in contorted ways and never worry that +the position of your elbows wrists or fingers will be taken as offensive Finding a comfortable +place for your hands can be difficult The key is not thinking about it or whether people will +perceive it as uppity or proud They are your hands If other people dont like how you are +holding them thats their problem +a de +TS is Ys Nt I +Ilustration Positions for the hands while standing A Holding the fist B Holding the hand C Hands on +the hips D Hands supporting neck retraction E Hands behind the back F Hands simply dangling at the sides +G Kelly Starretts position to train pulling the shoulder blades together scapular retractionshoulder packing +Another technique to increase your nonverbal dominance is reducing reassurances such as +excessive nodding Dont stop nodding altogether but reduce how quickly and how often you +do it Definitely smile at people and laugh at their jokes just dont do it too much Excessive +smiling and laughter directed at anothers efforts at humor are submissive And use the optimal +smile and laugh discussed in previous chapters Nonverbal tics rapid blinking prolonged tilting +of the head touching the back of your neck wringing the hands coughing artificially and +scratching imaginary itches are all nervous behaviors meant to fill space when you dont know +what to do with your body Omit all of that +Televised athletes that suffer anything from a crushing defeat to a narrow loss immediately +take on stereotypically submissive body language Their eyes are downcast their head lowers +they untuck their chin and their entire back curves forward into the characteristic C shape +Most of us take on these postures after somebody else makes a good point in a conversation +No one and nothing should be able to crush your posture Instead think of your favorite +Olympic sport and imagine what stance you would take on if you just won a gold medal in that +event in front of a cheering crowd Use that hourly +As we have seen many submissive displays keep our muscles tense and prevent them from +refreshing hurting us in the long run However some displays communicate modesty without +doing this These include feeling comfortable turning your back to another individual sitting +lower than another or placing yourself in any such position where someone else would have an +advantage if they decided to attack you If you walk into a room and sit in the lowest chair you +make a strong statement showing that being physically lower doesnt make you feel lower +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +frequently sit kneel or lie down next to people that are standing It gets people to lower their +guard When do it it is usually to stretch or allow my muscles to refresh If you do this other +people will get the point and see that you have no fear that others will attack you +In chimpanzees submissive individuals greet dominant ones This involves a sequence of +short shallow pant grunts that probably represent a form of handicapped breathing The +subordinate will assume a position whereby he looks up at the individual he is greeting He +makes a series of deep bows known as bobbing In the words of primatologist Frans de Waal +he practically grovels in the dust The dominant individual will stand up higher and may step +over the individual greeting him When this happens the submissive chimp ducks and puts his +arms up to protect his head Thus even greetings can confirm the dominance relationship +explaining why the alpha is greeted by everyone in the group but greets no one Adults never +greet youngsters and dominants never greet subordinates Ceasing to greet is a direct +challenge What should we take from this think it is gracious to be the one who initiates a +greeting but be aware of your posture and composure when you do so and keep in mind that +you never have to be the one who initiates a hello +Conclusion +used to often feel like prey Walks in metropolitan areas would trigger concerns of being +followed by assailants Being in nature would trigger fears of being stalked by wild animals +Swimming in an ocean lake or even a pool would trigger visions of sharks and prehistoric +marine predators would have frequent nightmares causing me to wake up yelling Every +other night in bed would give myself chills by imagining a home invasion scenario This is all a +distant memory to me now believe that am utterly free of these fears today because my +confidence and serotonin levels are constitutionally higher thanks to Program Peace +Besides massage exercise gratefulness cooperation and assertiveness how else can we +raise our serotonin Every exercise in this book aims to increase serotonin levels After you +have thoroughly practiced walking while breathing deeply with wide eyes above the eye line +shoulders down and a retracted neck it will be legitimate And here is the key Other peoples +inevitable recognition of this legitimacy will cause them to respect you Strangers will see your +posture and address you as boss chief sir or maam Even a subtle increase in the +tokens of respect you receive from your social environment relative to what your serotonergic +system was previously accustomed to will be enough to boost your serotonin +Researcher Michael McGuire and colleagues performed an illuminating experiment They +took a monkey troops alpha member and placed him in a separate room where he could watch +the other monkeys They placed a oneway mirror between the alpha and his subordinate +troopmates so that he could see them but they could not see him Because the alpha could see +his mates he made his ordinary dominance gestures However because they were oblivious to +him they did not make their submissive gestures in response Even though the alpha had far +higher serotonin levels than the other monkeys his serotonin levels fell each day of the +experiment He needed visual signals of their submission to stroke his ego When the +experimenters replaced this oneway mirror with a piece of glass his friends submitted and his +serotonin levels rose again +The trouble with our brain circuitry is that we necessitate submissive displays from others +just to feel normal Many find it impossible to retain a sense of selfworth if others withhold +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +signs of deference But you shouldnt Accept a confidence boost when others exalt you but +retain your confidence when others ignore you There is a deeper lesson to take from this Your +social interactions are not fights but sparring sessions They are not wrestling matches but +wrestling practice Dont see interactions as a competition see them as cooperation You are +working together to help each other become more and more ascendant When people fail to +show you the esteem you feel you deserve think of it as part of the game and let it make you +tougher not weaker +Before started this reprogramming journey my eyerelated body language see Chapter +was worse than most of the human population If had to ascribe numerical values would say +that was in the bottom for having open eyes the bottom for looking upward and the +bottom for capability for eye contact would guess that just around hours in total of +using the exercises from Chapter placed me at least higher in each of these categories +Can you imagine how much less frequently social interactions leave me feeling like a weirdo +and a loser Now come out of them with more serotonin rather than less +Take a moment to consider how other exercises in this book will make additional +contributions to your confidence Once you get the excessive tension out of your face neck +and diaphragm this will be apparent But remember this is not a zerosum game As long as you +are not combining your confidence with aggression your improved body language should not +detract from the body language of others In fact if you use your optimal demeanor equitably +and show others the respect they deserve and perhaps more than they deserve you will +become a role model helping and training others to be more like you +We have seen that there are many ways to increase your serotonin without drugs +However think the most powerful way to increase your confidence is to have faith in your +skills to mitigate conflict The next chapter will tackle this topic +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +Chapter Bullet Points +e Dominant or alpha primates have higher serotonin levels in the blood and brain than the +other members of their group If they are deposed their serotonin plunges and the new +alphas serotonin will soar +e Being an alpha with high serotonin that can never be deposed is a state of mind you can +create with time +e Increased serotonin makes you feel less stressed in response to threats and less +concerned with other peoples expectations regarding your subordination displays +e We act in ways to increase our serotonin but this often brings us into conflict with +others and can lead to selfdestructive behavior +e Any wins garnered through aggression or hostility are temporary and unsustainable +e Increase your confidence not through pitting yourself against or comparing yourself to +others but through appreciating the abundance you already have +e You dont have to be a highenergy extrovert to be assertive and high in status +e You have reached ego dissolution once your breathing is no longer controlled by pride +or prestige +e The same boost you used to get from pulling others down you can double it by being +successful at building rapport or making a new friend +e Your nervous system supports a mode of operation in which all movements are fluid +and unwavering as in tai chi +e Social submission interferes with fluid movement Your gesticulations at a party should +be as smooth and effortless as your motions in tai chi +e Camaraderie gratefulness and a mindset that is not attached to status and not +dependent on the regard of others will help us transcend serotonin blows +e It shouldnt feel socially awkward to have dominant body language +e Get your confidence boosts by competing with yourself and aiming to beat your +personal bests +e Master the belief that no matter what you will be just fine +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Raleigh M J Brammer G L Yuwiler A Flannery J W McGuire M T Geller E +Serotonergic influences on the social behavior of vervet monkeys Experimental +Neurology +van Vugt M Tybur J M The evolutionary foundations of status hierarchy In D +M Buss Ed The handbook of evolutionary psychology nd ed John Wiley Sons +Cheng J T Tracy J L Henrich J Pride personality and the evolutionary +foundations of human social status Evolution and Human Behavior +Hill P Allemand M Roberts B Examining the pathways between gratitude and +selfrated physical health across adulthood Personality and Individual Differences +Lambert N Fincham F Stillman T Gratitude and depressive symptoms The +role of positive reframing and positive emotion Cognition Emotion +Emmons R A Gratitude In S J Lopez A Beauchamp Eds Encyclopedia of +positive psychology pp Oxford University Press +Emmons R A McCullough M E Counting blessings versus burdens An +experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective wellbeing in daily life Journal of +Personality and Social Psychology +Hanson R Hardwiring happiness The new brain science of contentment calm +and confidence Random House +LeDoux J The emotional brain fear and the amygdala Cellular and Molecular +Neurobiology +Gothard K M Hoffman K L Circuits of emotion in the primate brain In M L +Platt A A Ghazanfar Eds Primate neuroethology pp Oxford University Press +Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great +game of life Academic Press +Carney D R Hall J A A LeBeau L S Beliefs about the nonverbal expression of +social power Journal of Nonverbal Behavior +Shariff A F Tracy J L Knowing whos boss Implicit perceptions of status from +the nonverbal expression of pride Emotion +Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation +Tracy J L Matsumoto D The spontaneous expression of pride and shame +Evidence for biologically innate nonverbal displays Proceedings of the National Academy of +Sciences +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +You do not need to defend against the intrusions of others there is no pressure on you to defend yourself +Recognize that they intrude upon themselves Eckhart Tolle +We Act in Uncivil Ways to Increase Our Serotonin +Humans like other primates are constantly testing one another in an oftenunconscious +attempt to either raise their serotonin levels or reduce someone elses We are driven to do it +because putting others down can give us a little neurochemical boost The tendency is +instinctual but it can become addictive and sadistic It is not psychologically healthy to belittle +our friends family members and coworkers for little hits of pleasure Neither is it healthy to fail +to recognize when others do this to us think of this as the struggle for serotonin and it is +going on in schools homes and workplaces everywhere +Workplace disharmony has been documented by recent research to be a substantial +economic cost for American business that is largely preventable but rarely addressed One in +five people claim to be the targets of occupational abuse at least once a week and ten percent +said they witness it every day Mistreatment does not rouse workers into better focus it +actually impedes their performance People that have been treated cruelly or thoughtlessly +show decreased ability to perform simple tasks distracted attention impaired working +memory diminished creativity and reduced helping behaviors Inhumane behavior is virulent +and negatively affects all involved the targets the offenders the firm and its customers After +reading about what incivility does in a workplace imagine what it does to a circle of friends or +a family Lets talk about how to stop it +We Provoke Each Other Constantly +As a solid rock is not shaken by the wind even so the wise are not ruffled by praise or blame +Buddha BCE BCE +When was young my mother taught me the expression out to get your goat This helped me +understand from a young age that it is common for people to say or do things just to get a +rise out of you or try to make you lose your cool It is ubiquitous People try to activate the +other persons amygdala sympathetic system and inferiority instincts to control them +however temporarily A large proportion of our social interactions revolve around testing each +others composure with jokes slights and provocations When my mom told me Dont let him +get your goat she was underscoring my responsibility to safeguard my temper and ignore +peoples attempts to fluster me +Etymologists believe that the expression comes from the oncecommon practice of keeping +goats with racehorses Racehorses are highstrung animals due in part to the unnatural levels +of strain placed on their muscles Goats were often used as companion animals to help keep +racehorses calm They were also commonly placed with dairy cows for the same reason Goats +naturally have an exceptionally low outward expression of stress They are not the most +beautiful animals neither are they the smartest nor largest but they are great at keeping their +cool think this should be a lesson for us we dont have to be the biggest or best to be the +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +calmest We may be far from being the dominant individual in a group but we can still be so +well composed that it inspires everyone else +There are many physical traits in animals that exist to convey social dominance These +include plumage coloration in Harris sparrows horn size in mountain sheep graying in the +mountain gorilla and square jaws in humans It is common to assume that flashy traits +imposition musculature and physical strength make a person dominant But it is really +emotional strength that makes people dominant Emotional stability keeps people from +getting your goat It is the only status symbol that is universally albeit unconsciously +recognized as more important than physical size looks reputation or money Often people +with great physical strength are accorded respect This in turn helps them build confidence +and emotional strength However the physically weakest person can certainly have the most +control over their emotions think of emotional strength as the ability to exhibit sturdiness in +the face of negativity +Emotional weakness starts when someone feels violated by someone else and then tries to +fight that feeling like any subjugated monkey The problem is if others can tell that you have +been stung they are going to want to sting you again Children high in rejection sensitivity are +more likely to be bullied Those kids who do not readily feel rejected are much less likely to be +victimized Envisioning yourself as the underdog or the victim is counterproductive because it +sensitizes you lowers your serotonin and invites further abuse Dominant animals have thick +skin are the last to feel rejected and so are the last to be rejected What would it feel like to +have zero rejection sensitivity Can you imagine yourself as inviolable +Treat everyone like you have known them forever and like they cant easily hurt you +See them as playful monkeys that are bluffcharging shamsneering pretendscratching +and feignbiting Only the primates with low serotonin are hurt emotionally by fraternization +All the things that people used to do that made you feel enraged reframe them as roughand +tumble monkey play +We Contradict Each Other Compulsively +If you carefully analyze the way people speak it is almost shocking how much we contradict +one another Most people are obnoxiously argumentative disputatious contrarians For many +listeners the first thing that pops into their mind is a way to poke holes in your line of +reasoning They look for any suitable exception to what you are saying They often are not even +emotionally invested in the contradictions that they place against you They are merely playing +devils advocate and throwing out red herrings to stifle and trip you up When people do this +to you they are testing your limits and trying to push you down into the lower echelons They +are expecting to feel good and get away with it after they discredit you But if we recognize the +ploy and respond skillfully to it we can help them reduce this dysfunctional behavior that is +certainly hurting them more than it is helping We can do this by responding without any hint +of pain +When others attempt to shoot you down try to see what is right about what they are +saying while pointing out how it doesnt invalidate what you were saying Do this with peace in +your heart Remember that you need not get defensive when someone hastily comes up with +an irrelevant exception to a statement you made Take their objections as requests for +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +elaboration and be happy to give them more details Reframing peoples intrusions and giving +them the benefit of the doubt is what the emotionally healthy person does +We should be looking for what is right in what others are saying to provide support This is +much more constructive for them and us In the words of Nick Bostrom this involves resisting +the temptation to instantaneously misunderstand each new idea by assimilating it with the +most similarsounding clich available in your cultural larder Give peoples ideas a chance to +marinate in your mind then help make those ideas better If you strongly disagree or have +something to teach them prove that you are comfortable in disagreeing by being polite yet +assertive Explain where you agree prior to disagreeing but dont disagree just to disagree +Never Fail a Confidence Test +Peoples jokes contradictions and snide comments are confidence tests to assess how cool +you are under pressure This is like a dogs first bark It is a probe used to assess your level of +composure These tests exclaim Im pretty sure that can break you down so Im going to say +something rude and see how you respond If you dont do anything about it you will fail the +test your rank will drop and others in the group will try to test you in the same way If you +laugh nervously or go along with it others will also see this as failing the test Crying +complaining or trying to gain sympathy are other ways to fail Flinging out an insult or +becoming furious will create more hostility or get yourself excluded from the group This is +because responding with anger just shows that you are volatile threatened and emotionally +immature But if you can respond using the challenge response rather than the threat response +you pass the confidence test with flying colors +To quote Schopenhauer Every reproach can hurt only to the extent that it hits the mark +Thus when you lose your cool and distressed breathing kicks in it becomes clear that the +persons comment resonated with you The only surefire way to win is to react assertively and +refrain from showing any hint of discomfort in response to your confidence being tested +Dont search other peoples words for things to be offended by Dont scrutinize voicemails +text messages or tone of voice for threats or putdowns There is no reason to investigate +Confidence testing is primal behavior Friends lovers coworkers strangers men and +women alike do it Sometimes it takes the form of creating drama out of a tiny issue just so that +they can scope your ability to withstand stress They are trying to see what they can get away +with This may take the form of impatience discourtesy or asking for endless small favors +Most people fail these tests because they cannot recognize them for what they are Once you +realize that youre dealing with a confidence test however it is very easy to pass +The best way to handle confidence tests is to see them for what they are monkey business +that is not worthy of your stress response Treat them as jokes and make humorous comments +in return You can turn a confidence test back around playfully or you can even make a self +deprecating joke to show how unflustered you are The absolute best way to deal with +confidence tests is to accept them as invitations to play as discussed in the next chapter +The secondbest way is simply to retain your composure +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Recompose Yourself When You Feel Disrespected +The mental arrow shot from anothers bow is practically harmless unless our own thought barbs it +Mary Baker Eddy +People provoke each other because they want to compare bodily pain When you feel +disrespected by someone your heart rate blood pressure and general level of discomfort all +go up Your vagal tone and HRV come down When someone contradicts you with a trifling +point they are looking to see how your face voice and breathing will change in response to +this new stressor They are expecting to take your breath away from you When they make a +haughty innuendo or an untoward comment they want to see how you will tolerate it +physiologically Recomposing yourself is the best way to stop reinforcing their transgressive +behavior When someone says something that crosses your boundaries ensure that you +Are breathing slowly and deeply through your nose +Are not squinting and your eyebrows are not raised +Are not sneering at all and your face is limp +Relax your spine gut and vocal tract +Retract your neck and lower your shoulders +Responding in this way removes all positive reinforcers dissuading the offending party +from provoking you again If they disrespect you and your eyes remain wide while you respond +calmly in a deep and steady voice they are going to feel stupid When you react to someone in +a way that is otherwise nonoptimal you relinquish your power When our chilike or pranalike +bioenergy is wasted on negative emotions we have none left to improve our lives or give to +others Conserve yours especially in the face of provocation +We get mad at other people for making us lose our composure However we should be +angry over our own unconscious rules for what makes us tighten certain body parts Once we +change those rules other people cant upset us When get mad at something that someone +did remind myself that am only mad because my own rules caused my breath to shorten my +nasopharynx to tighten and my face to wince No one else made me do these things did +Breathing with the diaphragm will automatically create the right mindset for dealing with +power politics It will allow the conflict to pass right through you without impacting you Even +taking a single second inhalation will give you more control over your behavior quell your +anger and allow you to deescalate potentially explosive situations Misunderstandings that +would have been largescale crises will now be subtle victories +used to look nice and act tough Like most people was doing it backward Instead we +want to look tough and act nice Playing submissive nonverbally and dominant verbally makes +you a servant to the hierarchical game and turns you into a jerk Instead you want to be +tightfisted with your nonverbals but easygoing with your words This gives the impression that +you are a wellcomposed team player rather than an anxious and alienated loner +If you tense anything let it be the procerus pulling your eyebrows down In other words +when someone is mean or rude to you try frowning You practiced this highly dominant +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +expression in Chapters and You can also flare your nostrils Then without saying anything +angry ask them to clarify their statement Okay explain that one to me +The primary way show others they did something that didnt like is by making my face +calmer They always get the point When a problem dog is ignored it usually calms down in +seconds When abusive people see that you are unagitated and uninterested it will take them +down a peg Shrug it offliterally When they see you shrug they will realize that they are +powerless to upset you +Many of the men was friends with in my twenties wanted to hurt me and see me in pain +At least a part of them did They were just doing what their instincts and environment +programmed them to do People often encourage those who subordinate themselves to do so +even further This is not necessarily spiteful because they usually dont even realize what they +are doing Regrettably have noticed myself unconsciously helping people play a subordinate +role try to catch myself We should treat and speak to everyone including people such as the +homeless and developmentally disabled as equals friends and trusted confidantes +The best way to cultivate inner freedom is to learn to relax around petty and aggressive +people You will find that the need to defend yourself will diminish until there is nothing they +can do to aggravate you Make them realize that they dont have the power to bite scratch +or sully you with their words Chimpanzees fling feces to denigrate one another Every time +someone says something degrading they are just flinging feces Lucky for us words cant stain +our clothes +No matter what if you have more composure you will win the argument because you look +like you dont care too much Once they realize they have no access to your physical pain +they will let up You want people to be able to sense that you are not interested in their antics +They will recognize that they cannot blame you for not being pulled in by shenanigans +You want to communicate Were not playing that game of scrutinizing the things we say +to each other for slights Trust me Im simply not going to intentionally offend you +Underreact to Their Offenses +God gives nothing to those who keep their arms crossed West African Proverb +Aside from the struggle for serotonin your average person acts like a jackass because they are +in pain They offend in a poor functioning attempt to hide the outward manifestation of their +trauma It is like they are trying to show us I wouldnt be acting like this if were scared +would In trying to look strong they become offensive Because they see being nice as a form +of selfhandicapping they think that they must be mean so as not to handicap This is a +fundamental sociocognitive error You can be the strongest most ambitious version of yourself +with zero negativity However remember that it is an entirely normal response for other +people to resist your efforts to become more assertive So roll with any resistance +When someone is rude to you and you are not rude back you pull the rug out from under +them By not allowing them to incite your pain you expose theirs They may then use a strategy +to pretend as if your response to them was rude or sarcastic They do this in another attempt to +make it seem that you are the one who is quick to anger The best response is to continue to +keep your cool Dont get bullied into becoming angry Take their harassment in stride +Or simply sidestep it you dont even need to acknowledge their misdeed Feel free to ignore it +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +It is our right as humans to completely ignore other peoples abusive behaviors if we dont do it +in anger and if we are willing to engage the person in an alternate topic or activity +Ignore rudeness without brooding or becoming sullen The moment you do this the other +person will realize that you are choosing not to respond because they put you in a position +where you didnt have the option to respond in a nice way After ignoring them give them +another chance to engage whenever they want You can alternatively ignore the rude part of +what they said and continue addressing only the positive or intellectual side of their position +Do this magnanimously and they will realize that you gave them a pass They will also respect +you for it Even if they dont mention it they cant help but realize Wow he couldve taken +that opportunity to strike back or discredit me but chose not to Dont let them pull you down +to their level Thats the first step in winning them over +Let the other person bluster and be brash and make no attempt to do the same Because +you dont counter their display they will think that they have beaten you Then when you act +cheerful not attempting to win or lose but being oblivious to the dominance game in general +they will go through a series of emotions First they will feel like they have lost then they will +try to win again to make up for it They may get stuck in that cycle for a while and thats fine +Eventually they will recognize that you intend to act as equals When this happens organically +it is usually the starting point for an alliance or a friendship Why not accelerate the process +Can you imagine negotiating with an angry person without using either appeasement or +aggression What would that look like Many spiritual teachers say that a sign of someone +enlightened is that they cannot be provoked or argued with They are open to discussion and +debate of course but not argument The next activity asks you to explore how you can stand +up for what you believe without losing your composure +Conflict Activity A Relaxed Argument +The next time someone is critical or accusatory prepare yourself for a fully relaxed +argument This involves asserting yourself using calm cool logic without getting offended and +without escalating the conversation in any way Try to achieve the following +Do not raise your voice +Do not whine or speak in a high voice +Do not fake smile smirk or laugh +Do not say anything sarcastic +Monitor your breathing rate heart rate and level of gastric distress +Breathe calmly through your nose for the duration Let your exhalations be passive +Present your side of the argument in a straightforward matteroffact way +Show empathy for their feelings and try to coax them to do the same for you +If the other person escalates the conflict act in ways that deescalate it +Create awareness of your and the other persons impulses to become angry or make +it personal Notice how these originate from sensations of pain within the body +Make your intended outcome not to win but to convince the other person that any +transgression you may have committed was unintentional +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +Do not attack them or try to shift blame toward them Just focus on getting them to +see your perspective and why you did what you did +Explain how you will continue to act in the same way in the future or how you are +willing to try to change for them +Feel free to offer an apology for whatever part you played in the disagreement +Meditate on the term unassailable which means unable to be attacked or defeated You +are unassailable because you are a good person and do wrong only by accident You are also +unassailable because you respond to criticism dispassionately but with accountability You +underreact but you take responsibility for what you may have done wrong By being happy to +completely own up to any mistakes or any trouble you may have inadvertently caused others +you are made invincible If someone refuses to say Im sorry Thank you and You were +right to you it doesnt mean that you should stop saying such things to them Make yourself +honorbound to say these things whenever they are applicable +Be at ease with everyone from the discourteous to the genteel and treat everyone as if +you have known them your whole life This means when they say something with a pinprick +embedded in it to get a rise out of you act like you have heard the same line a thousand times +You are unfazed and remain sociable with full parasympathetic and vagal tone At the outset +you will need to override any impulses to respond in kind Soon it will become automatic and +you will experience how and why being unfazed is much more powerful than lashing out +Set Your Expectations of Others to Zero +Competition and aggression are relatively inescapable It is essential to come to terms with the +fact that at any moment anyone could say something that will rile you up or make you feel +demeaned disregarded or disrespected Everyone even if not especially your closest friends +harbor instincts and impulses to dominate you Ask yourself Am open to being exasperated +by anyone at any time The answer without being jaded or cynical should be No govern +my own emotional reactions Im prepared for the worst even though treat others as though +only expect the best from them +Conflict Activity Imagine Your Friends Abusing You +Imagine that everyone in your social world is trying to abuse you verbally They are resorting +to personal character attacks in foul and underhanded ways People are screaming and +yelling expletives at you denouncing everything you have ever done Imagine yourself +staying calm and untroubled amid this derision Imagine yourself not taking it personally not +taking it to heart and continuing to be productive and accomplish your personal goals +Imagine yourself unperturbed by the abuse Allow this imaginary activity to take the +emotional shock away from personal attacks when they happen and help you appreciate how +good your social life really is +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Weve got to remember not to take offenses personally When someone says something +snide you might find yourself immediately starting to wonder if the offender doesnt like your +face your personality or the way you talk If a person is rude to you they are probably rude to +everyone It reflects on them not you You need to resist the tendency to ask Why me One +of the best approaches to regaining peace in your life is to avoid taking any personal offense +Conflict Activity See People As Animate Matter +Spend a few minutes thinking of everyone on Earth as being made of atoms and molecules +that are completely controlled by physical laws Imagine them with no free will of their own +Everything they do comes from their current physical structure the existing circuits in their +brain and the prior experiences that made them that way Allow this to help you feel +unoffended by their actions See everyone as automatons aggregations of cells that move +and act in predetermined ways Like a tumbleweed that has run into you you cannot +rationally be offended by anything they do Sometimes it can help to see people as +deterministic robots in this way What you put in is what you get out This holds you +responsible for any errors You should find that when you stop blaming others and hold +yourself responsible you have wellfunctioning encounters more frequently +Aggression is Inherently Weak +Aggressive acts are almost always mutually destructive in the sense that they hurt all parties +involved Any positive outcomes won by aggression are usually pyrrhic meaning they are +achieved at a high cost often to the point of negating or outweighing any benefits Tell yourself +that there are no acceptable losses with aggression and that because it damages everyone +aggression is selfdefeating +Aggression is violent in tone and contains elements of despair defensiveness selfpity +fear and desperation It invokes and is invoked by the threat response It is ironic that people +often act aggressively to gain respect but only rarely do others respect aggressive people +This is because aggression is inherently weak Aggression turns the world into a zoo and a +struggle for serotonin +As discussed in Chapter there is a big difference between acting dominant and trying to +dominate others Cultivating dominant nonverbal behavior is good for your healthit helps you +avoid stress But trying to dominate others is just another source of conflict and as such a +source of stress Studies with monkeys and apes have shown that stress as measured by +elevations in the stress hormone cortisol is often more pronounced in individuals attempting +to dominate than in their targets In trying to subject others these primates damage their +health People that are constantly trying to assert their rank by being aggressive are similarly +exposing themselves to cortisol inflammation tachycardia hyperventilation bracing and so +much more The clear implication is that the best way to free ourselves from our egos is to +cultivate a nonsubmissive personality while abstaining from attempts to dominate +Heal Your Composure with the Most Dominant People in Your Life +Your relationship with your parents is primordial Everyone picks up aggressive nonoptimal +nonpeaceful tendencies from their folks These are usually the hardest to break Also the body +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +language and mannerisms you feel comfortable using around Mom and Dad set a foundation +for how you act with everyone else Because so much of our formative time was spent with +them we hold our posture and countenance as if in their presence It is important that you feel +comfortable using dominant nonsubmissive body language around your mother father +and siblings As soon as you stop bracing your body in a way that is subservient to your family +members you will gain new freedom The next time you find yourself on a car ride with your +parents family members or anyone you are uncomfortable around discretely pull out your +breath metronome and teach your body to inhale and exhale freely in their presence +Primates respect gradation in rank meaning that a baboon will act much more subservient +around a group member five stations above him than it will around a member one station +above him The way you hold yourself around the most dominant people in your life similarly +affects you Think of the largest strongest most charismatic and most successful people in +your life You should act like there is no pressure on you to send them tribute Take special note +of which aspects of your body language are nonoptimal when you are with them and work on +these Even when they are not around you may find yourself trying to convince them of things +monitoring their moodiness and rehashing old disagreements If this is the case your thoughts +about them are likely influencing you to hold submissive postures Let all of this go +Dont Feel Compelled to Sacrifice to Dominant Individuals +Care about peoples approval and you will be their prisoner Lao Tzu BCE Unknown +Subordinate apes often seek reassurance by putting a finger in the dominant animals mouth +They are risking their intact finger to pay their respects This is like a sacrificial offering +Monkeys do this too Among stumptailed macaques formal rank is reinforced by a mock bite +on the subordinates wrist The subordinate approaches and places their arm under the +dominant individuals nose to invite this ritualized bite It communicates If you dont trust me +you can chew my hand off Similarly it is very common for humans to sacrifice +disproportionate amounts of time and energy to curry a dominant persons favor Dont do this +They will not respect you for it +Nondominant primates are obsessed with the dominant ones Apes and monkeys spend a +lot of time watching or making frequent furtive glances at dominant members of their troop +In experimental settings male monkeys are willing to give up precious juice to view pictures of +two things female hindquarters not surprisingly and dominant males In the wild +monkeys constantly inspect the dominants watching their every move and often giving them +their full attention Scientists suppose that this behavior plays a role in the acquisition of +important social cues +People do this as well Have you noticed your tendency to search out highstatus members +of the same sex and observe them jealously Do you seek out pictures of female hindquarters +and buff dudes on social media Dont secretly worship the bodybuilders the CEOs the fitness +models or the celebrities Giving them undue attention keeps you locked in a hierarchical +mindset so dont pay them any more attention than you would anyone else +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Have Compassion for Your Transgressors +If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each persons life sorrow and suffering +enough to disarm any hostility Henry Wadsworth Longfellow +In your mind think of discourteous people as unsophisticated people Remember that the most +offensive ones are likely to have had extreme life challenges such as early trauma or abuse +Further inappropriate aggression can be a symptom of brain damage PTSD or a range of +neurological or psychological disorders When someone is inconsiderate remind yourself that +they may have serious maladjustments and that more often than not they could use your +help Everyone is a jerk in their own eccentric way due to their unique pattern of deficits in +social intelligence Dont be surprised or upset by their idiosyncratic manner of being +discourteous just because you havent gotten used to it yet Most people realize that they are +rough around the edges Many even want to change but find it difficult or do not understand +how Unfortunately their uncouth behavior causes people to be rude back to them +perpetuating their problem We dont want to perpetuate peoples issues We want to help +resolve them +Aggression derives from weakness pain unfortunate experiences and mental +shortcomings so we should respond to it with empathy Those who want to humiliate others +have low selfesteem themselves It is sad that their priorities judgments and word choices are +impoverished Had you experienced everything they did perhaps you would have turned out +just like them Think of quarrelsome people as flamboyant actors who are suffering offstage +Most everyone is a sob story and we are all walking wounded Dont let wounds beget more +wounds Everyone you dislike just needs a little recognition validation and friendliness When +you give them a chance odds are they will end up making you revise your opinion of them +Another thing we should keep in mind is that what we take to be premeditated personal +affronts tend to be defense mechanisms or even more innocuously coping mechanisms +Most difficult people do things out of desperation because their sympathetic nervous system +is set too high People who are short of breath shaken and choked up lash out That is what +they do Almost everything that you dont like about people is just them trying ineffectively +to maintain their dignity Work around them if you have to but help them if you can Let your +natural assertiveness and your compassion for them work together +Anger and Rage +He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty Proverbs +The brains rage system starts at the medial areas of the amygdala that perceive angerinducing +stimuli From there they proceed to the areas that act on anger including the stria terminalis +the medial hypothalamus and the periaqueductal gray Certain stimuli from the environment +naturally increase electrical activity in these areas physical restriction pain hunger +and thwarted desires You can see how these incendiary stimuli are similar to those that evoke +fear in the amygdala eg loud sounds and fast movement As with fear adrenaline cortisol +and pain heighten anger whereas endorphins oxytocin and serotonin halt it +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +In all mammals that have been tested rage can be evoked by electrically stimulating these +brain areas We know they find it aversive because lab animals will go to lengths to avoid +electrical stimulation of the rage system When the electrodes in their rage circuit are fed a +current the animal will spring toward whatever object is in front of it and bite The attack +becomes more intense as the current is increased Humans report that the stimulation of rage +via electrodes placed in the brain is a terrible experience They tend to clench their jaw and +sneering muscles and report feelings of intense hatred +Electrical stimulation of rage causes smallbrained mammals like mice to attack inanimate +objects More intelligent mammals like cats and dogs wont attack an object because they +understand that this is meaningless but they will attack the nearest living animal Primates +show a further level of abstraction Stimulating the rage system in apes and monkeys will cause +them to vent their rage toward animals below them in the hierarchy but not above +A monkey whose rage system is persistently stimulated will ascend in rank An animal +whose rage system is physically damaged in the lab septal lesioning will become tame and +descend in rank This suggests that we dont want to completely suppress anger However +many of us were expected to suppress all outward manifestations of anger by our parents and +teachers believe that many people fall down the well of anxiety simply because they are +reluctant to demonstrate anger Convince yourself that it is fine to use anger in the form of +righteous indignation to stand up for yourself or what you believe in In Exercise we +discovered how briefly feigning anger can clear fear from your face Used in the next exercise it +will clear it from your chest +Conflict Activity Briefly Feign Anger to Overcome Fear +The next time you anticipate anxiety or experience intimidation from social conflict use anger +to overcome it Imagine even if just for seconds that you are very angry at the other +person You might be enraged at everyone in the boardroom Without letting your blood +pressure rise or wanting to attack them flip the tables by allowing the anger to drain every +ounce of fear from you Then reengage without either anger or fear +Anger erases social anxiety because when you are angry you stop caring about what other +people think and about the intricate hierarchical games of judgment evaluation and +apprehension For those few seconds you are ready to throw it all out of the window Even a +brief flash of anger lasting seconds will harden you making you callous unsympathetic and +allowing you to start over with renewed composure Sometimes just reminding yourself that +you are capable of feeling angry and expressing anger in front of others can give you the +confidence you need to be assertive +Dont expect people to read your mind or recognize when things are not in your favor +If something bothers you speak up Dont be afraid to ask for what you want Say what you +want to say You should be at a point in your life where you dont feel like you have to act like +anybody but yourself Make sure that you establish nonnegotiable boundaries Dont tolerate +intrusions upon your health family morals or psychological wellbeing Keep in mind +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +though that you must take responsibility if your assertive words or actions ruffle other +peoples feathers +Extreme anger in animals is often called a redzone case You cannot reason with an +animal whose rage circuit is fully active It is so focused that injuring it will only intensify its +ferocity Its objective to kill overpowers any pain you might inflict It would rather die than +cease its attack When the rage circuit is activated in a human you cannot argue or reason with +them Their bodily pain launches a sustained uninhibited verbal offensive Dont ever feel like +you have to pit yours against theirs Rather when someone gets angry at you think of it as an +opportunity to explain your true intentions and give them the information they need to feel less +threatened There is a good chance that their accusation is totally valid given that they dont +have the information they need to see it from your point of view Also a person cannot stay +mad at you if you dont get defensive Like a truly dominant mammal tackle the situation with +assertion not infuriation +In Chapter we learned that the neurological systems for predation and aggression are +distinct When a predatory mammal attacks prey its rage circuit is entirely inactive However +when a mammal attacks a member of its species out of anger the rage circuit lights up Be a +person that doesnt attack members of its species Rather attack the misunderstanding at +hand Imagine being a cat stalking in the grass without an ounce of anger or aggression +aroused calmly approaching your prey completely naive of negative intent Wouldnt it be +more effective to use this manner in a hostile social situation than outrage or defensiveness +You might ask whether avoiding anger will cause suppressed emotion It is commonly +supposed that if people suppress anger toward others they will end up bottling it all inside +But this act of bottling is equivalent to nothing more than muscle tension something you have +now been trained to recognize and release As long as you do not start bracing and continue to +breathe diaphragmatically you are not suppressing anger You are deflecting it And this is +healthy As any endocrinologist will tell you getting angry is like taking a small dose of slow +acting poison It raises blood pressure strains the heart damages arteries and causes +cholesterolfilled fat cells to empty into the bloodstream +As with fear every time you become adversarial the emotion fortifies related brain +pathways making you a more petulant person Every time you indulge in negativity you +encourage tiny incremental alterations in your neural architecture that make it harder to be +positive Conversely every time you transcend anger your capability to rise above it is +increased So the next time you find yourself using your imagination to plan a tirade or spew +venom just stop and move on to something else +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +Ilustration A Gorillas fighting B Dogs fighting C Dog with tail between the legs +Use Proximity Touch and Eye Contact for Reconciliation +Physical conflicts are frequent in both monkeys and apes Heart rates skyrocket suppressed +anger is unleashed and the fur can fly What happens afterward is what is important Most +conflicts even violent ones dont create distance because the animals tend to be intimate soon +after the aggressive incident They want to make up As with our huntergatherer ancestors +chimps in a troop are usually stuck with each other so reconciliation is necessary +After a fight chimps first seek out eye contact The former opponents may sit opposite +each other for minutes or more trying to catch the others eye One makes the first +conciliatory move holds out a hand pants in a friendly way then approaches for mutual +grooming Sometimes within a minute of a fight apes will rush toward each other kiss +embrace fervently and then proceed to groom each other and even lick each others wounds +This close physical contact is what makes reconciliation possible +As they groom and make up their heart rates and breathing rates return to ordinary levels +If the two primates dont spend time in close proximity giving their hearts a chance to calm +down in each others presence they may never salvage their relationship Think of some people +that you have trouble getting along with How do you make up with them after a spat Failure +to reconcile may stem from the fact that you have not made time to decrease your +cardiorespiratory output in their immediate presence If you have relationships that you want +to heal all it may take is a oneonone chillout session involving togetherness eye contact +physical touch and mutual diaphragmatic breathing +Making Your CalmAssertive Energy Composed and Nonconfrontational +Animal trainer Cesar Millan uses the term calmassertive energy to describe the aura of a +pack leader In his book Cesars Way he underscores that when an owner leverages this aura +with their pets it convinces them to trust and value the owners authority He explains how +even a small child can gain command over a pound Pitbull if they exude calmassertive +energy To wield it you must appear austere like you have strong expectations that others will +respect your boundaries +Millan explains that your pet dog does not want to be your equal It either wants to be +dominant or inferior He describes how most problem dogs that he treats try to assert their +dominance over their doting owners Dominance displays used by pet dogs include jumping at +people insisting on being fed being the first out the door pulling the owner by the leash +during walks excessive barking being unresponsive to commands and many others They tend +to develop these behaviors when their owner is neither calm nor assertive +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Most dogs will gladly accept their owners dominance unless they believe that the owners +energy is too weak Dogs know that when a leader has wimpy energy the pack is +compromised For its safety and your protection it will try to pick up the slack by asserting its +dominance The same goes for children Many wellintentioned parents are unwittingly +submissive to their offspring and end up with aggressive frustrated kids The same goes for +everyone in your life If you are not using calmassertive energy they will want to keep you +down so that you dont compromise the chain of command that is so important to survival +Thus your coworkers friends and family have instincts that tell them they dont want to be +your equal Because they want the tribe to have the most strongminded leader they prefer to +either lead or follow someone stronger +Near the end of his book The Ape in the Corner Office Richard Conniff concludes Status +competition and hierarchy are inescapable facts of primate life Though we disparage them +they are also essential tools for encouraging high performance and domestic tranquility He is +right When the pecking order is stable in groups of chickens the hens fight less and lay more +eggs Fighting is vastly reduced in chimps where the dominance hierarchy is established This is +also true in humans For example when dominance roles are well defined in a business merger +it usually goes smoothly but if roles are left undefined there is much more friction Conniff +believes that prosocial dominance is what we should strive for To him it is about making +friends employing compromise and persuasion and getting people to work with you toward +common goals and the better good +mostly agree with Conniff But have this to add Let us make our posture and body +language as stable and secure as possible our speech as rational and friendly as possible +Beyond this let us not try to force our eminence on anyone Instead we should let others make +inferences about relative dominance without attempting to persuade them or twist their arm +Thus recommend using calmassertive energy combined with a nondominatingnon +submissive demeanor to convince others against their instincts that the best strategy is to be +equals think that these comparisons with animal behavior suggest a golden rule of social +hierarchy Treat others as if they are neither above you nor below you in the status hierarchy +and as if they have never done anything wrong We will build on this in the next section +Forgiving Transgression +The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend Abraham Lincoln +Although think we should be quick to forgive we must let wrongdoers know what they did +was unacceptable If someone wrongs you address it assertively and immediately Tell them +which of your boundaries they crossed and by how much Even tell them exactly how you +expect them to proceed However if they are not doing anything wrong in the next moment +treat them as if they have never done anything wrong in their life This proves to them that you +trust them to improve This involves not saying things like You never listen to me Youre +always doing that You dont care about anyone else and Youll never change Keeping +score or holding grudges only leads to bitterness on both sides +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +Conflict Activity Treat Others as if They Have Never Done Wrong +Imagine what it would be like to treat everyone in your life as if they had never done +anything bad hurtful or thoughtless Imagine relating to each person as an equal and a +trusted soulmate that has never harmed or insulted you in any way Imagine your parents +this way followed by your siblings extended family friends children coworkerseveryone +Start over with a clean slate Even better throw the slate away and stop keeping tallies This +will free you from the encumbrance of having to keep score withhold affection and mete +out extended punishments Doing so can play a massive role in making relationships more +peaceable and equitable +Dont Punish Because People Dont Sympathize with Your Aggression +No one is going to perceive your anger as valid if it is directed toward them Even if you feel like +you are justified in getting angry as long as it is directed toward them they will perform +whatever mental gymnastics necessary to frame you as the victimizer You may see your +actions as retaliation but they see it as arbitrary abuse That is why dont chastise even when +have a clear opportunity Resorting to belligerent tactics is the best way to provide an +antagonist with more ammunition Also keep in mind that every time you get upset a negative +part of the other person wins Every time you keep your cool that same part is diminished +Punishment is not a sustainable way to get what we want out of people Rewarding them with +stern attention compassion and love is +When someone acts rude treat them as an animal that you are training that has not +performed a trick properly Anyone that has trained a pet knows that you withhold the food +you wait you keep talking to it and you just give it another chance You dont take punitive +action against the animal unless it has physically harmed you or someone else It is not our +place to punish anyone unless they have physically harmed us Cultivate the same kind of +patience with people that you might use with an abused pet Be a lenient but firm master +Recognize Psychopathy in Yourself and Others +In computer science there is a concept known as device hardening by which a computers +vulnerabilities are reduced by various means These constrain the available methods of attack +by hackers and viruses Such methods include changing default passwords disabling +unnecessary services applying patches closing network ports and setting up firewalls and +intrusion prevention systems Reading this book has put you through a process of hardening +The exercises provide stress tests and stress proofing You have been fortified and the +vulnerabilities in your head thorax and abdomen will continue to be reduced as long as you +take part in the exercises This hardening process has strengthened you but also made you +susceptible to psychopathic behavior This is why want to address the nature of psychopathy +so that some readers do not let their newfound composure corrupt them +In this section will try to convince you that we have something to learn from the +psychopath They have a form of strength that we want for ourselves but also a tendency to +hurt others which we dont Lets start by describing what we dont want Psychopathy is a +personality disorder characterized by bold disinhibited behavior as well as impaired empathy +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +and remorse Many psychopaths are serial bullies They often parasitize the people around +them constantly committing offenses many of which are nonarrestable They exhibit +Machiavellian selfinterest and are often not concerned with the psychological damage they +inflict on their targets They are frequently negativistic impatient intemperate embittered +oppositional overcompetitive petulant and meanspirited They can be easily slighted quickly +disillusioned and have a penchant for wanting to punish others They use pain as an instrument +of power and leave people worse off than they found them We dont want to follow suit +The people that know personally on the psychopathy spectrum set people up to cross +their lines of decency so that they can retaliate They love their mean personality They think +that it is smart witty and cool But no one that know who is proud of being mean is +respectable And know several They are all socially disabled hypocrites They all cross their +close friends and family more than anyone else and their behavior inevitably results in tragedy +Psychopaths make up only around of the population However each of us can become +psychopathic in certain contexts People are more likely to callously abuse others in situations +when they become angry or when they believe they are dominant When someone is calmly +rude to you they are attempting to be a cat toying with a mouse In other words they are +trying to build the experience of being a predator with a total disregard for how it might be +affecting you Never let yourself be that mouse If someone is psychopathic with you think it +is fair to be psychopathic back In the next few paragraphs will explain what mean that it is +fair to be without empathy although not sadistic +The research literature on the psychology and neuroscience of psychopathy is extensive +To boil it down psychopaths exhibit alterations in emotional brain areas that cause them to be +callous and fearless Interestingly their amygdala can be utterly unresponsive to many types of +social stressors Psychopaths have reduced sympathetic responsiveness while looking at +distressing pictures The same is true when they look at pictures of other people in distress +This has caused researchers to conclude that they have a lack of empathy They are poor at +naming fearful emotional expressions They also exhibit a diminished response to conditioned +punishment less fear and reduced startle reflex to myriad startling stimuli Social conflict +doesnt increase their heart rate or breathing rate and does not cause them to brace They are +often reported to be charismatic and exhibit superficial charm They are capable of these things +because they do not feel pressured to selfhandicap +But none of these neurological predispositions toward insensitivity necessarily make them +bad A biological predisposition to being unafraid in and of itself doesnt make the psychopath +evil Unfortunately it often causes them to make social mistakes and flout norms The people +that they unintentionally hurt punish them for these mistakes believe the resulting constant +conflict turns them into bad people over time But the bad doesnt derive from their innate +fearlessness the bad comes in if the repercussions of that fearlessness cause them to start +taking delight in others pain +Some people find pleasure in hurting others These people show activity in the brains +reward circuit the ventral striatum when shown videos depicting deliberate infliction of pain +When they watch someone maliciously prick another with a needle they feel amusement and +gratification Some psychopaths exhibit this but many do not Psychopaths dont necessarily +want to hurt people but they are willing to hurt them if they can get what they want +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +Psychopaths dont feel anothers pain sadists enjoy it Reveling in anothers pain is known as +sadism and schadenfreude +Schadenfreude is defined as the feeling of enjoyment that comes from seeing or hearing +about other peoples troubles In German it means harmjoy Sadism is enjoyment in being +cruel Sadists dont choose to feel satisfaction from someone elses misfortune It is +neurological and usually derives from a combination of early experiences and genetics +However you can confront any tendencies you may have toward sadism and you and are +obligated to do so Harmjoy is evil Draw a hard line in the sand +Activity Analyze Your Tendencies Toward Sadism +How do you imagine your brains reward centers respond to other peoples pain or +misfortune Can you think of a time when something grim happened to someone and you +became excited or experienced pleasure How could you become more aware of this +tendency as it happens How could you interrupt or undermine it if you recognized it +Ask yourself How can take the strength and fearlessness from psychopathy without any +hint of sadism +You want to be psychopathic when it comes to the dominance hierarchy You want to be +stonecold when people attack you To be assertive sometimes you need to throw excessive +empathy out of the window am advocating a type of ruthlessness that is not destructive +where you dont worry about what other people think of you and your heart bleeds for no one +You are not doing anything wrong though because outside of selfdefense you are too +confident and compassionate to feel the desire to hurt others in revenge +Lessons from Breaking My Nose +In Chapter recounted how my nose was broken at a McDonalds at age didnt tell the +whole embarrassing story walked up to the McDonalds restaurant with an exaggerated +posture was trying to be a little cooler than really was Another yearold in the parking +lot didnt like it He said several unkind things to me and asked him to leave me alone +He followed me inside and continued to menace me While was standing in line to order food +he made a final unprovoked disparaging comment didnt consider him a threat so reached +out and gently pulled the brim of his baseball cap down below his eyes expected that it would +take a couple of seconds for him to fix his hat Without even pushing the brim back up he +immediately tilted his head upward so that he could see me and threw a swift right cross to +my nose +There are four things we can learn from this First shouldnt have pushed his hat down +It was the wrong thing to do It leaped over the line from assertion to aggression When we +touch someone else without being welcomed to do so it is a violation of something sacred +We shouldnt ever touch people in anger unless it is in selfdefense +The second lesson found in this is that any fight can do a lot of damage The blow broke +my skull in multiple places Parts of the nasal bone maxilla and septum were fragmented +The surgeon said he had to pick out many bits of shattered bone from my face The emergency +room doctors told me the injury was consistent with being hit with a bat or a club But wasnt +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +hit with a club remember distinctly being hit with a fist was only hit once by a yearold +boy that must have weighed less than pounds think this should be a lesson for all of us +Any act of physical violence can have severe costs and just one strike from anyone has the +potential to do grave damage We dont want our faces broken and we dont want to break +anyone elses face either Tell yourself that fighting is not worth the costs Prepare yourself to +skillfully and gracefully decline physical violence when it confronts you This will give you the +peace of mind to rise above it +Third if you are going to walk around with optimal posture you must be wellprepared to +deal with people trying to call your bluff was assaulted because had my chest puffed up +But have since proved to myself that it is all in the way you do it walk around expressionless +with my chest inflated and neck completely retracted all the time now But am not putting on +airs it is not a form of submissive threat and do it with no remorse but also with no +animosity No one seems to question it or get angry about it To be honest Im not sure that +could pull it off in a penitentiary But can pull it off safely in any neighborhood in the world +promise you that And promise that you can do it too The key is just to do it without an +ounce of anger in your heart +Number four As recounted in Chapter having my nose broken changed my facial posture +and increased the amount of repetitive strain in my facial muscles but it did something else +much more insidious It stopped me from breathing nasally A few months after the incident +started having difficulty breathing through my nose resigned to being an obligate mouth +breather Contrary to what assumed however my nasal passage hadnt been narrowed by the +damage Rather the disuse narrowed it +After the nose break it was packed with gauze for two weeks so learned not to breathe +nasally Because learned by habit to breathe through my mouth my diaphragm atrophied +and my tidal range shrunk Nasal breathing became difficultnot because my nasal passage +was any smaller but because my diaphragm had grown weak was no longer able to breathe +slowly smoothly and at long enough intervals to make nose breathing tenable +After the cascade of physical and social repercussions of being a mouth breather went +from being moderately popular in high school to very unpopular in college As recounted in +Chapter recently forced myself to start breathing through my nose again and it was +difficult at first Taping my mouth helped Now it is second nature and it helped me reclaim the +calmness and composure of my youth +Four interesting lessons from one traumatic incident Funnily enough it took me more than +years to learn them How many of our instances of trauma hold important lessons for us +Prepare Yourself to Avoid Physical Confrontation +In this book ask you to walk around like you are a superhero This can be dangerous as it can +arouse insecurity in others and could cause them to assault you You need a few good +conciliatory displays in your arsenal There are many things you can do at the last second to +forestall an attack Just knowing that you have these is empowering and will help you keep +unphased when provoked +Practicing a head nod greeting can prepare you to extract yourself from tense situations +The head nod consists of two movements a quick motion either up or down and then a slightly +slower motion resetting the head to its original setting Nodding up is more assertive and can +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +be perceived as a challenge if it is not accompanied by a smile or an eyebrow raise +Nodding down is more modest +Nodding down can be a helpful way to acknowledge someone and diffuse tension created +by eye contact between strangers The fact that you stayed composed while you acknowledged +the other person civilly with a nod before they acknowledged you shows that you do not feel +threatened and are not trying to threaten Practicing a several head nods in front of a mirror +will train you to nod reassuringly after a tense or unexpected encounter with a stranger +Conflict Activity Head Nod Greeting +Practice a friendly head nod It may help at first to do this in front of a mirror making eye +contact with yourself Start by nodding down quickly and then back up Practice both upward +and downward nods Repeat a few dozen times until you get the hang of it Nodding once is a +positive display that will usually invite the other person to nod back and relax +Use the mentalis muscle at the bottom of the chin to raise the chin toward the mouth +You might combine this with a risorious smile by drawing the corners of the lips outwards +without smiling up into the cheeks Then combine this with the nod Using the mentalis +muscles to raise the chin while flashing a risorious smile sends a stern but friendly signal that +diffuses suspicion +Prepare yourself with dispassionate lines that will alleviate anger These include +Excuse me friend Im not looking for any trouble or simply Hello may help you +Say something peaceful while breathing deeply This will advertise that you are neither afraid +nor angry If the person looks upset and confronts you physically you might want to diffuse +tension by calmly introducing yourself You could advance a single fist for them to bump their +fist against or advance an open hand to initiate a handshake +What is the best way to shake hands It is pretty easy Open the web between your thumb +and index finger wide and make an effort to stick it firmly into their web Keep your palm flat +rather than cupped so that you can increase the surface area of contact between your palms +Wrap your hand around theirs and squeeze firmly Dont allow anyone to twist your wrist +during the shake Shake athletically from the elbow and linger for a moment A firm handshake +that moves fluidly up and down shows that you are not trembling Much of the same goes for +hugs Hugs should be nourishing long firm and without startling or any sudden involuntary +movements +Negative Physical Encounters +if someone succeeds in provoking you realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation +Epictetus c +Come to grips with the fact that you may have to fight to protect yourself or others +Animal behaviorists almost always recommend that you fight back fiercely if attacked by an +animal Criminologists recommend that you do the same if assaulted by a human Dont attack +until after they have launched the first offensive but once they do you have carte blanche +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Fight fair but fight with zest gumption and a determination to end the altercation quickly and +with as little destructiveness as necessary Keep in mind that you can be legally and financially +liable for any injuries you cause and that if you gravely hurt the person or kill them you could +end up in jail for decades or even for the rest of your life +In most escalating situations if the person can tell that you are not afraid of fighting them +but are also not intentionally provoking them they will leave you alone The best way to avoid +a fight is to show with your face that you are not scared at all and that you are not interested +No one is going to want to fight you if you look like you are disinterested in fighting You want +your attitude to say Oh we can certainly fight but only as a last resort have found that it +can help to tell yourself that you do not fight civilians just monsters supervillains evil robots +invading aliens and extreme threats to good +It can also help to stop thinking of physical combat as traumatic Dont fear it or give it +more power than it deserves People that fight frequently think little of it Think of it as a right +of passage or as a game that you are willing to play if necessary It is an undertaking that serves +as a final deciding factor in a dispute Even if you lose remain relaxed Hey lost you got me +or Well the fella whupped me pretty good so suppose he can have his way this time +There should be no shame in declining to fight or in losing a fight +Many people find themselves pulled into fights due to an immature sign of petulance on +their faces They are displaying an air of submissive threat Primates generally make two kinds +of threats confident and subordinate Subordinate threats are reckless They come from a +place of fear and pain and have startle embedded within them Most threats in humans and +primates are subordinate +Monkeys will stare jerk their head lunge forward or fakecharge to try to get another +group member to submit These are usually bluffs Many wild animals will stop altogether if the +other merely holds its ground Even pound charging elephants are known to turn away +at the last second from a human standing calmly with planted feet People relying on physical +intimidation are looking for easy targets It is the same when people try to criticize you +Those who crumble get picked on forever Dont be intimidated Plant your feet If you act +afraid of a carnivorous mammal this forces it to become more aggressive If you act afraid +of other people it similarly forces them instinctively to persecute you further +How would you act if you encountered a wolf or mountain lion on a hike Ideally you +would want to act dominant and indifferent but always letting the animal know youre aware +of its every movement If you do this properly it will keep a safe distance most of the time +as youre telling it you feel secure enough to claim and remain in your territory You are +communicating that you pose a greater threat to it than it does to you This is the mindset to +use in public places You want to implicitly communicate that you pose a bigger threat to others +than they pose to you but that you have no desire or intent to harm +If we can resolve to refrain from physical violence until it is the very last option we can +greatly reduce our level of stress because the expectation of physical conflict is one of the main +things that causes us to brace our chakralike modules Actively refraining from violence is an +ageold practice The Hindu and Buddhist practice of ahimsa from the Sanskrit word for +noninjury is a doctrine of renouncing any form of violence toward any living being It is a +beautiful way to live life +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +Conclusion +A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men Thomas Carlyle +Because our brains expect that we will be actively competing for food and sex they expect us +to have enemies Genetically prepared instincts influence us to take the closest thing they can +find to an enemy and villainize them This is also why if you put two unfamiliar adult cats into +a room they will probably not get along You might desperately want them to get along +they might be happier if they didbut often they cannot get past their reflexive defense +mechanisms This confused displaced hostility is also present in the modern workplace and +home where conflict seems to be the norm It is all too easy for values and prehistoric +programming to clash Anger often erupts out of an interaction between two people who both +feel they are completely reasonable As with the cats this is largely neurological +A large proportion of animals will attack their reflection when they see a mirror for the first +time Apes will commonly take offense from their own body posturing They send and receive +threatening displays to their reflection until they provoke themselves into assaulting the mirror +If you saw a mirror image of yourself and didnt recognize it would you be offended by your +own social displays Could you get along with yourself +Some animals see their reflections in the mirror and want to play Isnt that beautiful +Let us be that way Why not carry ourselves in a way that influences others to be playful +We will delve into this in the next chapter +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Bullet Points +e Hostility is associated with heart disease high blood pressure insulin resistance and +inflammation +e There is no need to be right or make anyone else wrong +e Dont embed barbs in your comments +e Never let anything anyone says cause you to beat yourself up from the inside +e Use skillful assertion to bring out the best in people +e Doas muchas you can to see others as tribe members collaborators and players on the +same team rather than rivals +e You should never feel forced to choose between being a nice guy no one respects and +being a jerk who gets everything he wants +When dealing with a difficult person you want to sidestep their negativity and take the +shortcut to the outcome that you want while remaining fair and equitable +e Resist the emotional urge to take offense and pursue vengeance +e Respond to provocation with calm noncontention +e Handle conflict charismatically +e Never respond as if you are reacting to bullying Never be a victim +e Trying to be better than other people and outdo them is exhausting and ends up taxing +your health +e Cultivate selfawareness for your tendency to take out frustrations and transfer blame +e Dont let anyone grab you by the breath +e Acknowledge that your actions and opinions are fallible +e Feel comfortable apologizing and offering clarification for your behaviors +e Avoid implicitly condoning acts of incivility that you witness +e Lower your constant guard against perceived diminishment and loss of ego +e Reframe the offenses of others as shortcomings in priorities judgment social maturity +and word choice +e Demonstrate more interest in finding a solution than in defending a position +e Retain your peace regardless of the other persons disposition +e Listen to and make an effort to understand others perspectives without interrupting +e Instead of contradicting the contribution of another think about how you can build on +top of it +e Beapsychopath with a heart of gold +e Be absolutely unflappable Pretend you are a god if need be That calm exterior starts as +a bluff but becomes a way of life +e Assume the best or neutral motives in others Maintain an objective stance when +conflict arises +e Instead of taking in the worst from everyone and reacting against it selectively take the +best and channel it into everything you do +Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict +Chapter Endnotes +Andersson L Pearson C Tit for tat The spiraling effect of incivility in the +workplace The Academy of Management Review +Porath C L Erez A Does rudeness really matter The effects of rudeness on +task performance and helpfulness Academy of Management Journal +Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science +Shepherd S V Platt M L Neuroethology of attention in primates In M L Platt +A A Ghazanfar Eds Primate neuroethology pp Oxford University Press +Panksepp J Affective neuroscience of the emotional BrainMind evolutionary +perspectives and implications for understanding depression Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience +Maletic V M Robinson M Oakes T lyengar S Ball S G Russell J +Neurobiology of depression An integrated view of key findings International Journal of Clinical +Practice +Millan C Peltier M J Cesars way The natural everyday guide to +understanding correcting common dog problems Random House +Conniff R The ape in the corner office Random House +Blair R Coles M Expression recognition and behavioral problems in early +adolescence Cognitive Development pp Stevens D Charman T Blair +R J R Recognition of emotion in facial expressions and vocal tones in children with +psychopathic tendencies The Journal of Genetic Psychology +Blair R J R Responsiveness to distress cues in the child with psycholopathic +tendencies Personality and Individual Differences Levenston G Patrick C +Bradley M Lang P The psychopath as observer Emotion and attention in picture +processing Journal of Abnormal Psychology +Buckholtz J W Treadway M T Cowan R L Woodward N D Benning S D Li R +Ansari M S Baldwin R M Schwartzman A N Shelby E S Smith C E Cole D Kessler +R M Zald D H Mesolimbic dopamine reward system hypersensitivity in individuals +with psychopathic traits Nature neuroscience +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness +Composed Kindness +No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own +utility you must live for your neighbor if you would live for yourself Seneca c BCE +Trust men and they will be true to you treat them greatly and they will show themselves great Ralph Waldo +Emerson +People are often hesitant to be nice It is stigmatized When we see polite people they often +cause us to wonder Are they so friendly because they are weak This is a common +contention because being kind often involves slowing down letting others have their way and +handicapping oneself But equating niceness with weakness is fallacious because being nice +doesnt necessarily mean that you allow others to take advantage This is because it is entirely +possible to be selfcomposed when kind Composed kindness has very few costs Employing it +will improve your interpersonal functioning and restore your good faith in others In Chapter +said that people were taking my anxious kindness for weakness making me into a bitter +person You will find that people take your composed kindness for strength making you into a +people person +Every encounter you have with another person is an opportunity for you to practice +composed kindness Keep spreading goodwill whether others reciprocate or not Starting with +unilateral kindness can help you surmount the other persons defense mechanisms Be +prepared to be the cheerful helpful chap in a world full of miserable Scrooges Presume good +faith and positive intentions This eventually brings the best out in everyone You cannot lose so +long as you maintain your sense of enlightened benevolence guided by your personal code +and centered by unbothered breathing +Being Cool Is Disarming +One of the best ways to bring composure to your kindness is by being cool Done right it can +disarm pettiness What does acting cool mean to you To answer this think of the top five +coolest people you know Who would be on your list of the coolest celebrities Who were the +people you looked up to in your youth When have you been cool in the past Channel this +energy Think urbane suave garrulous jocular and levelheaded You want sangfroid verve +cachet and moxie Think firmness of character force of determination steadiness of nerves +unruffled tact and being powerfully goodnatured Keep the word savoirfaire and its +definition in mind the ability to speak or behave appropriately and at ease in social situations +Being cool means not being afraid of being too calm This can make you come off as numb +or detached and that is okay Dont be afraid to zone out on your friends They may take it as +aloofness and try to push you away But if you dont push back and you leave the door open +allowing them to linger many people will choose to hang out and hang loose with you Try to +get them to detach as much as you have proving that forced extraversion isnt necessary +Take breaks from talking and just take in your surroundings Never feel pressured to keep +interacting Lounge in comfortable silences Dont use adrenaline to help you complete your +sentence or help you find that term on the tip of your tongue Dont allow cortisol to dictate +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +your personality at the event Instead use serotonin endorphins and oxytocin to help you +build rapport +Being cool is about having sustainable body language in social situations You want to +operate in a way that would not fatigue even if you had to socialize for hours straight +How would you behave if you knew that you would be awake surrounded by people and face +toface interactions for two full days You would have to pace yourself This would require you +to allow plenty of microbreaks to each of various modules Your face voice breath +and posture would have to be indefatigable invulnerable to fatigue And if you were to +maintain your assertiveness for the duration you would have to be very cool Almost every +one of the exercises in this book will enhance your cool Facial massage gut compression +vocal rehab and increasing diaphragm range will all contribute significantly +For your coolness to be tenable in the long term you must act like everyone else is cool +When you treat someone else as though they were cool you validate them Thus the best way +to make yourself seem normal and wellfunctioning is to treat everyone else as normal and +wellfunctioning So act as if you expect the other person to be confident and at ease in +everything they say and do +Act as if Nothing ls Awkward +Most peoples attempts at social dominance center around making others feel as if they are less +socially skilled The people around you try to gaslight you into thinking that you are socially +incompetent Over time this caused me to act as if everything did and most things that others +did was awkward felt that had social shortcomings and owed it to others to use my body +language to recognize this or else was shameless would also subtly patronize others for +their uncouth blunders thinking it would be dishonest to ignore these This led me into a +downward spiral of awkwardness +One day tried the opposite acted like nothing anyone did was amateur pretended to +be comfortable with every aspect of the interactions had quickly found that this tactic works +wonders and that it is at the heart of being cool as well as being simultaneously nondominating +and nonsubmissive The more we treat others as if they are adroit socially the better they feel +about themselves and the more they like us Do this and be shameless about it Act as if you +and whoever youre with are the coolest people on the planet Once you put this into effect +you will find that your gallant speech and actions send chills up your spine Your own behavior +will become your primary source of endorphins and you will get hooked on being assertive in a +debonair way +Treating people who are awkward or socially defeated as if they are normal will liberate +them We should strive to make everyone feel socially facile even if talking to them is +uncomfortable at first Ignore the unrefined aspects of their presentation and express +enthusiasm for what they are trying to communicate Move on quickly from their +embarrassments and bloopers Ignore any tension leakage they may exhibit Most people focus +on all that is ugly and inept in others When you dont even perceive these things you give +them a chance to blossom +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +Being Humble Rescues You from Status Competition +Because our genes have been subjected to the primate status hierarchy for tens of millions of +years our brains have a propensity to interpret every occurrence as either a promotion or a +demotion It is instinctual Boasting for example becomes common in children as young as +three The ego wants to turn relationships into selfaggrandizement Left unchecked it will turn +everyone even friends and family into a means to an end This instinct to constantly defend +ourselves drains us of the same composure that it intends to conserve +Indeed confidence is necessary but egotism is incredibly tiresome Paradoxically taking +yourself too seriously is a submissive trait Developing a side of yourself that is humble and +modest is necessary for being happy Counterintuitively it is also empowering because it allows +you not to be affected by constant demotions We need humility and unobtrusiveness They +afford us a type of confidence that is unconditional and not based on external circumstances +Happiness Activity Renouncing the Ego +Consider the Buddhist concept of nonself The Buddha recommended that we imagine +having no social identity to protect and obsess over He asked us to recognize the unreality of +the selfconcept and the need to be better than others Buddhists use the word sunyata to +describe both the emptiness and the spaciousness that is achieved when the ego disappears +Can you get yourself to feel it +Imagine voluntarily relinquishing your identity pride and ego Imagine having no name no +body and no physical attributes Imagine having no possessions education resume +accomplishments and no reputation in the world There would be nothing to gloat about +but also nothing for others to criticize There would be no striving for prestige and no social +comparison It would mean being formless and selftranscendent What would it be like to +have no ego for the rest of your life +Another aspect of being cool is not being focused on yourself Dont think about how +you are perceived when you are actively socializing Pretend to have as little selfawareness of +your appearance as possible Over time this will manifest Impression management and self +monitoring can be critical but at times try to stop thinking about others social evaluations of +you Tell yourself that you have already had enough approval compliments and praise from +others to last a lifetime and that you dont need any more This will help you stop identifying +with the evaluations of others An old clich tells us that confidence isnt thinking youre better +than others its not even bothering to make the comparison This logic holds As the charitable +bighearted alphaminded individual you are work toward being oblivious to your conceits +Healthy humility will make it so that you dont have to look for evidence of your worth +anymore Bring an end to the need to measure yourself against other people You want to be a +strong presence that doesnt glorify or advertise itself Being humble also precludes you from +having to continually prove yourself so that you are not embarrassed when you inevitably make +mistakes We should be willing and happy to play a game with a friend even when we know +she is much better than us The only person you should be working toward being better than is +the human being you were yesterday +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +This next activity is sometimes regarded in Buddhism and Hinduism as the single most +potent metaphysical practice It will tear your false pride to shreds and reveal emotional +maturity underneath it It involves resisting the temptation to defend yourself in front of +others Spiritual author Eckhart Tolle has an insight about this practice When you are +seemingly diminished in some way and remain in absolute nonreaction not just externally but +also internally you realize that nothing real has been diminished that through becoming less +you become more +Happiness Activity Allowing Diminishment of the Ego +Allow another person to say something to diminish your standing without making any +attempt to restore it Allow other people to strike blows to your pride whether by being +brusque criticizing you blaming you or saying something explicitly wrong about you Notice +how it makes you feel inside Become comfortable with the discomfort that it creates Notice +what your normal response would be and inhibit it Remember that you are never required +to retaliate or defend yourself If the other person is waiting for your response perhaps +agree with the part of what they said that is reasonable +The best way to cultivate inner freedom is to learn to relax around petty rude and +aggressive people The need to defend yourself will diminish until it becomes clear to everyone +that there is nothing they can do to aggravate you Every time you stop yourself from +overreacting it gets easier Likewise every time you stop yourself from status maneuvering +social chess jockeying for power and pretending to be someone you are not it gets easier +Endearing But Still Composed +This book has argued that we should not act submissive because of the way it increases tension +in the body over time However body and voice movements that take effort or briefly +compromise composure endear people There are many ways to do this that come across as +warm but that are not inferiority displays and wont lead to repetitive strain For example +some endearing forms of body language include keeping your palms up moving closer to +people pointing your feet toward them and rubbing your hands together +We should even use selfhandicapping displays at times Do this judiciously a little bit at a +time without letting it cripple you If you dont brace them and give them the microbreaks +they need the modules involved will recharge and can be used again right away with no cost +It is endearing to squint raise the eyebrows raise the shoulders crinkle the nose speak in a +high voice and stoop over for brief periods As long as it only persists for a few seconds and +trigger points are not made active it wont drain you +Embracing Composed Submissiveness +Up until now this book has denigrated submissiveness We have discussed various ways that it +damages both composure and health But it is entirely possible to be composed and +submissive There are times when composed submissiveness is not just appropriate but also +beneficial These are the times when we let or encourage others to lead +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +It can be freeing to be mellow and passive and to support the leadership of others +Allow other people to take over and yourself to relax when they do Relish the relief from being +in charge Do so while exuding balanced nonconfrontational energy Perpetual assertion takes +its toll It involves intense face time eye contact talking decision making and an overtaxing of +existing bracing patterns It leads to social fatigue and is why highpressure executives and CEOs +can age so rapidly We should be handing over the pack leader role constantly passing it +around from person to person sharing the stage the crown and the accompanying burdens +Often in real life we are forced to play an inferior role At our workplace we must submit +to higherups to keep our jobs and advance our careers There are many reasons you should +treat your boss as the dominant individual Whats more it may be best for you your boss and +the business to allow them to act superior in some ways That said dont hurt yourself just to +let the boss be the boss Acquiesce appropriately to your employer law enforcement judges +and other authority figures without diminishing your posture shortening your breath or +surrendering your pride This will allow you to maintain a healthy serotonin level regardless of +your place on the corporate ladder +Just because you dont try to stop someone from acting dominant doesnt mean they are +dominating you They are only dominating you if you are inhibiting yourself or avoiding +confrontation with them out of fear They can never dominate you as long as you stay +composed Take sovereignty from needless oneupmanship +Keep in mind that everyone has essential observations and keen insights to impart +All humans are our fellows and our equals As Ralph Waldo Emerson said Every man meet is +in some way my superior So let every man and woman be your superior at times especially +when they have something to teach you When you see someone do better than you at +something you value dont feel envious or threatened Instead feel eager to learn This is ego +stability and emotional strength +When threatened by an intruder a dominant gorilla will let out a tremendous roar charge +and knock down the newcomer with an immense hand swipe However outside of defending +themselves and their group members dominant gorillas do not generally overtly assert their +rank Even though gorillas are immense powerhouses animal behaviorists often describe them +as shy because most of the time they dont feel like they have anything to prove It is not that +they are shy it is that we are arrogant pompous and flagrantly adversarial +The only way to transcend the dominance hierarchy is to be content when you temporarily +find yourself in a subordinate position to be comfortable when others perceive you as +subordinate without trying to change their mind You dont want to be a doormat but neither +do you want to be consumed by resisting looking like a doormat Only doormats worry about +being doormats +Our unconscious mind values prestige over happiness The two are often at odds You can +change this by intentionally pursuing happiness over prestige +Optimism Excitement and Feeling Good +It pays to be happy Optimists live longer have stronger immune systems recover from injury +more quickly and have increased mental and physical health Happiness and positive emotions +are linked to higher earnings better appraisal at work relationships of higher quality and +increased likability Happy people are perceived as more intelligent competent and physically +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +attractive Optimists cope more effectively with stress are generally healthier and are less +likely to become depressed When optimists have coronary bypass surgery they heal more +quickly than pessimists Positive thinking results in a cardiovascular system that is less reactive +to stress But how do we become happy in the first place +Optimists attribute the cause of adverse events to external specific and transient factors +In other words they see a tragedy as a oneoff fluke Pessimists on the other hand attribute +failures to their own internal global and permanent shortcomings They see themselves as +useless and assume the world is out to get them If this is you stop it Regain your optimism by +recognizing that you have the potential to fix anything and everything that has ever been wrong +with your life Recognize that the future you will be skilled and competent enough to solve +any problems that arise +We are constantly making expressions to ourselves as we go about our days alone +Whatever these expressions are they constitute our true selves For most people its wincing +If thats you make the gestures and facial expressions of happiness when you are by yourself +The smiling and the postural alterations from previous chapters will help with this If solitary +happiness is not practiced regularly attempts at appearing happy among others will be fake +Remember how excited you could become as a child You had no reservations about expressing +exuberance and enthusiasm Nothing is stopping you from feeling zestfully happy right now +aside from the force of habit +have spent much of this book describing how we use our bodily energy to traumatize our +tissues This might make you assume that our life force is destructive It is not You must +redirect that same life force away from anxiety and tension toward happiness and joy The +more you do this the less energy there is to sustain stress Doing so actively reprograms how +your body routes energy setting you up for hardwired happiness Accordingly all the exercises +in this book should be done with joy and optimistic expectations This will make them much +more powerful +Be a lifeless corpse when it comes to tension ego and pessimism When it comes to +playfulness however thats when you want to be alive and spend your chilike energy on +positive social displays Lets start with laughter +Laughter in Other Animals +Many mammals laugh For example most rodents emit long ultrasonic vocalizations during +rough and tumble play The sounds rats and mice make have been described as chirping and +occur in the kHz range inaudible to humans When chirping they actively seek being +tickled and played with They chirp when wrestling chasing or searching for one another +They chirp during courting and before copulation Researchers have interpreted rat chirping as +an expectation of something rewarding and it appears to elicit friendly social approach in other +members of their species It also nullifies anxiety If you tickle a rat after a fearful situation +it will neutralize the negative emotions and vastly decrease any fearrelated learning going on +in its brain +Dogs can pant using heavy forced exhalations in a way that suggests a form of modified +laughter They use it during play Dogs exposed to a recorded doglaugh exhibit significantly +reduced stress behaviors increased tail wagging the display of the canine playface as well +as prosocial behavior such as approaching and licking another dogs lips +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +Chimps gorillas and orangutans all exhibit laughterlike vocalizations in response to +physical play including friendly contact like chasing wrestling and tickling It is a shallow pant +conveying nonaggression that is highly reminiscent of suppressed laughter in humans Their +laughter shows the same sonographic pattern as that of human babies They also use similar +facial expressions while laughing and are ticklish in the same areas that humans are Ape +laughter consists of a series of exhalations and inhalations like panting On the other hand +human laughter consists of a series of exhalations with no intervening inhalations +Mice dogs apes and humans make their breath shallow to create rapport Insistence on +breathing at long intervals caused me to stop doing this was so focused on diaphragmatic +breathing that refused to breathe shallowly even when joking with friends This is like refusing +to make anything other than an expressionless face Think of shallow breathing during fun +jovial play as a form of healthy panting that serves as a temporary microbreak or counterpose +to diaphragmatic breathing Refusing to pant is refusing to play +Rehabilitating Your Laughter Will Make It Much More Pleasurable +Gelotology is the study of laughter and the positive effects it can have on the body Proponents +advocate the induction of laughter on therapeutic grounds Laughter yoga hasya yoga and +laughter meditation also use voluntary laughter for therapeutic purposes Studies have shown +that it alleviates both stress and pain These practices assume that voluntary or forced +laughter provides some of the same benefits as spontaneous laughter Voluntary laughter is +often done in groups and may turn into real laughter Participants are instructed to facilitate +laughing by using childlike playfulness and eye contact These practices are great but think +they do not get down to the issues crux From what have seen people who engage in this +practice are mostly laughing superficially To reap the benefits we must isolate and strengthen +the core laughing reflex +The muscles involved in laughing have been traumatized by life stress As an infant your +laugh was primordial and bona fide Years of anxious laughter and worrying that your laugh is +too aggressive have damaged your instinctual laughing pattern As you might expect people +who are depressed or anxious have the least convincing laughs Extremely dominant people +laugh loudly without hesitating at whatever they like Most people however stifle their +laughter in the same way they stifle their posture and breathing This explains why most adults +laughter is eccentric and deviated from the innate laughter pattern +A babys laughter is vivacious and natural To relearn to laugh genuinely it is helpful to +watch infants and toddlers laughing Take the time to search for videos of babies laughing +on the internet and mimic them You will see that infants dont stifle their laughter They dont +worry about their laugh being too forceful or about offending someone Neither should we +Your laugh should shake you to your core and be intensely pleasurable +A hearty and progressive emptying of the lungs applies a significant load to the diaphragm +and the muscles of the chest wall triggering the endorphin system This is why social laughter +is correlated with an elevated pain threshold However most adult laughs hardly activate +the pleasure system at all After years of stifling laughter we have forgotten how to laugh in +a way that produces this response For many people the diaphragms role in laughter has +been weakened so much that laughter no longer recruits endorphins and is draining rather +than energizing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Fake or nervous laughter comes from the throat and often results in increased tension +there During natural laughter the diaphragm does most of the work By training yourself +to laugh through deep contractions of the diaphragm and abdominals you can rebuild an +authentic laugh These muscles should reach exhaustion and start to fail during a good laugh +If your diaphragm and abdominals begin to burn like they did when you were a child you know +that you are doing it right The next exercise will show you exactly how to retrain your +diaphragm to fully participate in the act of laughing +Happiness Exercise Diaphragmatic Laughing +Practice laughing while exhaling completely This involves an uninterrupted emptying of the +lungs Inhale completely only after you laughexhale completely Your exhale should consist +of a long series of laughing sounds punctuated by vocal glottal closure haha equals two +glottal closures The brief closing of the vocal tract glottis against the exhalation allows +pressure to build and makes the laugh sound like a series of rapidfire punches They should +roll out somewhat like the Rs when you roll your tongue Practice this as an exercise and +attempt to make the laughter last for at least five seconds but shoot for to seconds +Laugh all the way to the bottom of your range of exhalation Use the principles of anti +rigidity Try the following variations +Focus on and coordinate the laughs glottal closures so that they proceed at a +smooth and steady rate +Notice inadvertent irregularities in timing as well as the tendency to gulp +choke or falter and iron these out Its okay if it sounds mechanical and +robotic at first while you are relearning the basics +Cause the punctuated exhalations to roll out as fast as possible while +maintaining a fixed rhythm After you gain coordination in speeding them up +try slowing them down +Do this using your voice at various pitches but focus most on using a deep +voice to create a deep laugh +Explore your preferred ways of laughing varying resonance inflection and +timing Modulate each in as many ways as possible +Employ different melodies and model other peoples laughs Spend time +listening to and imitating actor Mark Hamills maniacal Joker laugh +Try laughing while exhaling completely until it turns into a wheeze and you +feel you dont have a cubic centimeter of air left in your lungs Ensure that the +laughing pattern remains coordinated even at the bottom of your exhalation +This will greatly strengthen the muscles involved +Dont raise your shoulders when you laugh and focus on keeping them pushed +toward the floor Maintain the tenets of optimal posture Dont allow your +spine to curve into a forward C shape You might try lying on your stomach +while you laugh to ensure that your spine is straight +Do this with a thoroughly relaxed face or while you massage your face so that +you can laugh heartily without intense facial constriction Induce paroxysms of +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +laughter without raising the eyebrows squinting sneering or tensing any +other muscles +The pressure to keep exhaling should be forceful and have a life of its own It +should feel like a boa constrictor is wrapped around your chest squeezing you +hard and only giving you a short period to inhale every few seconds +Laugh authoritatively compellingly boldly forcefully mightily Work on +making it contagious +Because the muscles are strained stagnant and uncoordinated your laugh may sound like +that of an insane villain at first But with practice it will become friendly and ebullient It is +important to do this exercise loudly gleefully and unhesitatingly so make sure that you are not +worried about others hearing you Do it in a closet or better yet in the car +It will be uncomfortable at first The muscles you engage may be so weak that they feel +susceptible to damage Mine certainly were If so take it easy the first few days and build up to +doing it vigorously Use laughter to work out the cramp in your diaphragm This exercise is a +powerful complement to diaphragmatic breathing exercises and will help you reach muscles +that you otherwise could not To this end try it while lying on your stomach from a forward +fold or from happy baby pose with your belly pushed out +At first the laughing exercise should make you feel weary After only one week you will be +able to push harder and be more adept at coordinating the pulses of laughter After a few +weeks you will be good at it and find yourself laughing more often This exercise transformed +my laugh from a flimsy perfunctory courtesy laugh into something enjoyable Now laugh +spontaneously heartily resolutely and much more frequently find laughing tremendously +gratifying and things that were barely amusing to me before are now hilarious +believe that laughing evolved to help humans let off steam It may have allowed instances +of camaraderie and social bonding to influence an individuals life strategy to place less value +on the adaptive aspects of trauma In other words the more conducive your environment is to +laughing the more your body assumes that your environment is a good one and that it is safe +to be optimistic A real laugh was probably designed by evolution to help us attain a fullrange +hard contraction of the diaphragm As with panthooting Exercise this contraction +relieves the diaphragm of the partial contraction caused by stress and shallow breathing +The more you rehabilitate your laugh the more you increase your diaphragms potential +for providing you with endorphins Remember that endorphins are most reliably produced by +grooming singing laughing and play These are addressed in Chapter Chapter this +section and the next section respectively +Some people with relatively calm nasopharynxes can clear their nasopharynx in the same +way others clear their throats It is like snorting except it involves breathing out rather than +breathing in Some people call it a nose laugh see it as a dominance signal conveying that the +persons nasopharynx is not tense When my nasopharynx was tense was incapable of +doing it Once you have compressed your nasopharynx using the exercises in Chapter +you can build the coordination to perform this empowering laugh +Some people use this signal to laugh at something they find inferior like rolling the eyes +Please dont use it derisively or to ridicule people Instead use it as a heartfelt laugh to +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +communicate that you are enjoying absurdity People usually find it exciting and it makes them +want to laugh along with you +Happiness Exercise Laugh through the Nasopharynx +Use a brief to seconds but powerful exhalation to force air out through your +nasopharynx with the mouth closed This snort is similar to a scoff or chortle It sometimes +arises when you try to withhold laughter First practice doing it in small short bursts to +develop the proper coordination so that you can build up to doing it in a prolonged way +With practice you will be able to hold convincing threesecond nose laughs It is a convivial +way to express amusement that improves quickly with practice +Be Playful +We dont stop playing because we grow old we grow old because we stop playing George Bernard Shaw +Play like laughter is a form of medicine but certain conditions must be met for it to be +genuine All stressors anger fear pain hunger and separation reduce play Animals must be +well fed comfortable and healthy for play to take place When these conditions are met rats +and mice chase and pounce wrestle pin nip poke and knock each other over This is the kind +of play that generates highfrequency laughterlike chirps at kHz Physical roughandtumble +play is the most fun of all At one point thought all aggressive acts were unpleasant but +judging from play in other mammals feigned aggression can be joyous +It is important to note that when mammals play rapid role reversal is a defining element +In other words they know it is friendly when everyone gets a chance to be on top Knowledge +of this should influence us to pass being dominant back and forth with our friends The rat that +ends up on top more often during pins becomes dominant The continuation of play +necessitates a willingness on the part of the winner to selfhandicap Dominant rats that go +easy on others always have playmates but those that bully are ignored when they try to solicit +play Play helps animals determine who to avoid and with whom they can develop cooperative +relationships They learn to dominate but also accept defeat without being defeated +Dominant animals would rather play but aggressive animals would rather fight Rats +involved in a fight bite each other and box This can lead to injury They stand on their hind legs +and strike each other with their front paws When they do this the kHz laughter turns into +kHz complaints This is similar to chimpanzees among whom play is accompanied by +wrestling panting and a play face whereas fighting involves boxing tearing scratching biting +and barking +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +Ilustration Animals playing +Rather than being based around wrestling human play focuses on verbal interchange and +banter Repartee involves provocation rejoinders biting commentary and if friendly laughter +As in other mammals this form of verbal jousting can engender friendship respect and +cooperation It can be made more fun with the use of bombastic quarreling absurd +braggadocio frivolous histrionics grandiose pretentiousness and ostentatious balderdash +When you do it be spunky employ exuberance and enjoy it You dont have to act excitable to +be sparkling and bubbly you just need to be playful Usually if you manage to entertain +yourself others will be entertained as well +Remember to be like the mice during play and allow others their opportunity to be on top +lest you risk losing playmates This includes giving others equal chance to talk and refraining +from dominating conversations A dog initiates play by crouching A monkey initiates it by +exposing its rear end Both of these actions involve selfdiminishment and vulnerability +Showing others that you dont take yourself too seriously or exposing a vulnerability can make +them want to play with you After experimenting with this for years now have concluded that +you can be as vulnerable and nice as you can and as long as you are playful it wont be +mistaken for weakness +Play ranks among the most beneficial neuroplastic interventions Placing rodents into +enriched environments where they can socialize wrestle and play with others results in +heavier brains and higher levels of dopamine endorphins and serotonin Studies have found +that rats deprived of play are more fearful and aggressive toward other rats Encouraging +playfulness in animals is one of the few behavioral interventions known to reverse anxiety and +depressive symptoms This is probably because it allows them to shift from the threat +response to the challenge response +Social play involves creativity and requires that we learn to approach others in diverting +and lively ways Imagination and fantasy can also facilitate play My favorite way to play with +people is to make up imaginary scenarios What would you do if am animated +shameless and immature when doing this My scenarios include helicopters ninjas dinosaurs +and hats with pinwheels on top of them When other people do this recognize it as play +participate and egg them on by laughing with them Whenever someone uses an analogy or +poetic license to describe a situation help them flesh it out until you have created a whimsical +comical cartoon world Feel at home with wordplay punning nonsense and silliness +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Ask outrageous questions set up outlandish hypotheticals and feel comfortable acting like +a kid If you have genuine heartfelt fun they will too so entertain yourself and your sense of +humor first +Reawaken Your Play Face +A simple openmouthed expression in primates called the playface communicates that play +is either underway or about to begin It often accompanies primate laughter The jaw is wide +open and sometimes the corners of the mouth are slightly drawn back Unlike the primate +sneer or grin the expression is relaxed and the teeth are usually covered completely All apes +as well as macaques patas vervets and rhesus monkeys use the playface Common during +play sessions in juveniles it is also an adult expression It is used to enlist others to play and is +accompanied by a jaunty sprightly air The display is usually reciprocated immediately It is often +interspersed with tumbling tickling chasing wrestling playgnawing and lipsmacking sounds +We know the primate playface as gaping in childlike wonderment Our ability to gape has +been reduced by our uptight attitudes and by excessive tension in the jaw However we can +refurbish it Recover yours because in some ways the playface is better than the smile +Happiness Exercise Gaping in Childlike Awe Is the PlayFace +Bring back your childhood ability to express astonishment and delight Relax your eyebrows +widen your eyes and allow your jaw to gape widely Gape without baring the teeth Gape as +if you have no inhibitions about how your wideopen mouth will appear to other people +Imagine that your wide mouth influences others to share your sense of playfulness and +excitement Pretend you are seven and just discovered something wonderful that you can +share with your buddies Alternate this expression with your smile When you use it think +Thats incredible or Wanna play It also makes a great greeting or a reaction to +a surprise +Illustration A Woman in awe B Chimpanzee play face C Baby excited +Happy babies open their mouths wide when laughing Socially defeated adults open their +mouths the least In my twenties wasnt able to open my jaw fully and trying to was painful +Any gaping would make my jaw creak and crack Dropping my jaw in any social situation +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +seemed like dropping my guard Pairing gaping with diaphragmatic breathing for less than +minutes gave my jaw an oil change It has never creaked or cracked since Now that gaping feels +natural feel less serious and more encouraged to have fun Master your play face +Become a Great Conversationalist +One of the best ways to play with and love others is through conversation Unfortunately +most of us have learned to converse competitively The conversational narcissist wants to keep +the attention on themselves and control the conversation as much as possible We are all +narcissistic in this way and we all see conversations as competitions to some extent +We pretend to listen but are really just thinking about what we want to say once we have found +an opening or way to interrupt This is like the mouse that always wants to be on top Nobody +wants to play with him +Lavish your attention on the other speaker Support their topics of choice Question how +you can get this person to open up further What is their underlying interest Keep asking +why until you get to what they want to say but arent saying Why helps you discover their +motivations for speaking It also helps to ask what where when and who Keep your +interrogatives openended They should act like bridges not dead ends Ask openended +questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no Ask And what did you say next +and Then what happened Focus on positive topics and use the word you more than +Turn Yeah but into Yes and Separate asking for clarification from disagreement and +separate debate from criticism +Without empathic listening and anticipating the motivations of others talking becomes +socialized egoism So urge them to elaborate Active listening involves engagement empathy +and validation Refer back to what they said earlier Reiterate their point but put a spin on it +Use your knowledge to help them flesh out and provide evidence for their ideas and opinions +The more interested you are in them the more interesting you will be to them Make people +feel like they matter The more you treat them as mature intelligent and wellfunctioning the +more they will see those qualities in you +Have you ever had a night out with a friend during which an absorbing conversation left +you feeling deeply satisfied Try to attain this kind of satisfaction for you and the other person +during every conversation Pursue a deep feeling of connection that makes the rest of the world +feel less important Good conversation is the primary form of social engagement for us humans +and the emotional connection it provides is one of the best ways to bond play and laugh It is +also a surefire way to activate the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system Even +simple things like brief face time short chats small talk and meals with others are vital to our +health Maximize your time spent with people who make you feel good after being with them +and try to be that person for others +Practice Dancing as a Form of Play +Dancing is one of the best forms of play It has been squelched for most of us due to social +apprehension selfinhibition and contamination from distressed breathing The following +exercise will address this by teaching you to rest while dancing +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Happiness Exercise Uninterrupted Freeform Dancing +Put on your favorite type of music to dance to Dont worry about using a breath metronome +but you might want to place some tape over your lips to ensure nasal breathing If you dont +have natural rhythm start by sitting down and making a fist Strike your fist softly on a stable +surface to the beat of the music Try to synchronize as best you can with the rhythm +Next bob your head in the same way +Take this synchronization with you as you stand up and start to pound your feet on the floor +to the music Step forward and back left and right so that your foot makes contact with the +ground at the exact time the beat hits Bend sway whirl and move your arms in time with +your feet If you dont know what to do with your feet then look up the twostep +Heres the key Dont stop no matter how awkward it feels Continue dancing completely +uninterrupted for at least one entire song Then try to dance through several songs while +imagining you are a professional performer or gogo dancer on a stage Since you are being +paid to dance you cannot stop By not stopping you force yourself to close the gaps in your +performance These gaps are where you usually stop dancing because you start to feel self +conscious and you look around at your friends with a sheepish smile while breathing +shallowly Push right through them Also use startle awareness to ensure that you are not +startling while moving +You brace certain body parts while dancing These tend to fatigue very quickly However +if you force yourself to keep moving you will learn to stop bracing them out of necessity +As you continue to fatigue you will have no choice but to learn to rest while dancing +You may have to dance continuously for at least minutes to reach this point In doing this +your dance moves will become less neurotically charged more fluent jubilant and playful +Let loose If it helps at all dance in the dark Dance as if no one is watching with no fear of +being seen as a quirky goofball The only reason you might look goofy is that letting loose +is unpracticed +Savor Goosebumps to Strengthen the Response +The fullbody tingling that you feel when you get goosebumps comes from a surge in +endorphins It is also known as the aesthetic chill response or frisson This happens when you +feel victorious encounter something beautiful hear a moving melody or even when you find +yourself strutting in the face of danger The goosebumps on your skin come from the bristling +of tiny hairs in a reaction called piloerection It makes furry animals look bigger by forcing their +hair to stand on end This is responsible for the raised hackles on a surprised wolf the plump +tail of a cat before a fight and for the bristling fur on a chimp that is marching around putting +on a dominance display +There are ways to elicit the response deliberately You can try listening to your favorite +music singing loudly and unabashedly panthooting partaking in ASMR via online videos +or by using the massage and caressing techniques discussed in Chapter Another way to send +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +a shiver up your spine is to combine the postural exercises from various chapters to walk +around in public as if you have an S on your chest Regardless the best way to strengthen the +bristling response is to savor it when it happens to you Savoring a sensation in this way is often +called sensate focus Focus on extending the feeling and pass your hand over the gooseflesh +to heighten the sensation Like all positive feelings and emotions every time you get +goosebumps relish the feeling and prepare yourself to welcome its return +Concluding Activity Awaken to the Pleasure in Your Body +Scientists recognize multiple painkilling substances that are produced naturally within the +body endorphins enkephalins endocannabinoids endogenous morphine and others Each +are being released more or less all the time They have powerful analgesic effects blocking +the communication of pain signals If you pay careful attention you can feel their effects +Too often we look for the pain Instead look for the pleasure +There is bliss to be found in everything you do Every breath every heartbeat every quiver of +every muscle holds a small amount of gratification You can magnify these pleasures just by +paying attention to them Most people know to look for the pleasure after they use alcohol +They ask themselves Wait just had a drink am supposed to feel euphoric where is that +feeling in my body Oh there it is That same feeling is constantly being generated within us +all the time just at a smaller scale All we need to do is sensitize ourselves to it Im still not +good at it yet but believe we can all build this skill As often as you can remain open to +and delight in the sensations involved in your bodys natural production of pleasure +wish had a more reliable method of activating and strengthening the pleasure response +because believe it is very positive But can report that the frisson response is much more +frequent in my life since have been using the Program Peace exercises believe that the +improvements that antirigidity has made to my posture played a large role As your confidence +increases your charisma will start to give you goosebumps +You Have Everything It Takes to Be Charismatic +want you to develop charisma in the same way that you developed your dancing abilities in +the section above In other words practice it under relaxed conditions hitting all the beats +without stopping Assert your opinions in front of others with conviction and panache +and keep them rolling at a sustainable pace This will unshackle you from all the bracing +patterns that typically bar you from doing it fluidly +To master charisma you need to indulge in a little showmanship You can never be the life +of the party until you start trying Hazard risks with a takecharge demeanor Be fully present +when speaking to people Give them your full attention and expect theirs Dont try too hard +to impress people Instead focus on impressing yourself Let your style and positivity make +them want to impress you Think of your social abilities as inexhaustible Imagine that they +replenish infinitely +When you deliver a line or story and you feel like it fell flat dont let that get you down +Often listeners just dont know what to say in response Dont let their silence take away your +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +momentum If you keep hitting them with smooth deliveries they will eventually show some +appreciation +To exhibit charisma you need to act in a way that makes people think that it would be a +good thing if you were in charge You must show the competence of a leader You want to +come across as strong decisive and a person others can rely on for guidance To do this create +a sense of constructive forward motion As a leader boss or manager express high +performance expectations of the people around you combined with confidence in their ability +to meet those expectations By having faith in others you build their confidence in themselves +and in you You want to send out indicators of alliance so people unconsciously assume that +you like them that you respect their opinion that you will include them and that you will back +them up when it counts +Did you know that psychologists generally consider optimism to be the key to charisma +Charisma is a set of nonverbal behaviors giving the impression that you have not only strength +but also a positive attitude It is a special mix of power and warmth that makes charismatic +people influential memorable persuasive and inspiring +Caring for Others Will Make You Happier +Moral integrity is key to happiness People who have ethical social habits are happier than +people who do not The first reason for this is that people are more likely to value you if they +see you as a good person Psychological research has found that the most important traits to +increase your likability are trustworthiness forthrightness warmth and kindness So choose +your words politely honor boundaries compromise show consideration admit when you are +wrong honor your word and show respect +Get over your issues Dont be petty or vain Dont seek attention Dont be racist or sexist +Never hate anyone Be a good sport and a good loser Dont say bad things behind peoples +backs Acknowledge other peoples contributions helpful advice and good decisions State +explicitly what they did to help you and how it helped Acknowledge peoples success no +matter how small and pay a compliment every time you notice something good Dont judge +people Be courteous Ask whether you can lend a hand Make an effort to be a friend +Remember that you must be a friend to have a friend +The second reason why moral integrity will make you happier is it stimulates an old part of +the brain responsible for tending and befriending All mammalian brains have a care and +nurturance system This system initiates instinctual behaviors meant to take care of the young +In female rats stimulation of this area promotes nest building licking grooming archedback +nursing hovering over pups and gathering those that stray from the nest Caring for young is as +vital to reproductive success as obtaining food and sex This is why it has similarly strong +connections to the brains pleasure systems In other words instead of using food and sex to +make yourself feel better use nurturance +When you care for others you activate this brain system along with the related reward +pathways This is why nurturing others naturally produces endorphins Helping others has been +shown to protect against the harmful effects of life trauma Volunteering after a natural +disaster protecting others during an attack caretaking community service and becoming a +peer counselor have all been shown to reduce stress It quiets the amygdala and decreases +inflammation It is sometimes called the helpers high People who volunteer in any capacity +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +have lower rates of heart disease and stroke lower mortality risk less depression and an +increased sense of purpose Activating the brains nurturance system also subdues the defeat +response because they are inherently incompatible Be a good kind person the best person +you can be Dig up all the good that you want in your life from within your own heart +Practice Being Pure of Heart +Being pure of heart has a reciprocal relationship with being free of nasty thoughts Seeing +yourself as wholesome and virtuous is the quickest route to becoming free from negative +rumination Repeatedly ask yourself whether your actions are noble and pure Holding yourself +to high standards sounds like an adult burden but will make you a kid at heart +Goku from the original Dragon Ball comic and TV show is a small naive child who doesnt +have a bad bone in his body He has a trusty cloud Flying Nimbus that he rides like a magic +carpet Only people who are pure of heart can ride the cloud Billy Batson is another small boy +this time from the world of DC comics whose purity allows him to take on the mantle of the +superhero Shazam Thor from the Marvel universe has worthiness that enables him to lift +Mijolnir his enchanted hammer have asked myself on many occasions Would be able to +ride that cloud don that cape or lift that hammer Would you +Let us practice indiscriminate and promiscuous kindness Let us do this not to be rewarded +but because it is the right thing like the saying that tells us Love the one that you are with +take this injunction further to mean that you should love whoever you find yourself with at +any moment Love thy neighbor Love thine enemy Use agape which is the GrecoChristian +term for selfless unbiased nonpossessive universal love Or experiment with using the +unconditional positive regard that many psychotherapists use with their clients When your +primary aim is to broadcast goodwill you act much less defensive and your composure quotient +will soar Thus a pure lighthearted mentality not only gives you access to the moral high +ground but will also affect many minutiae of your body language and microexpressions +improving your overall aura This is the bravery of the innocent +The key to being popular is to like more people Research has shown that likable people +like others On average the mostliked people like larger numbers of people and they like those +people more So forgive those you feel have wronged you Forgive your parents siblings +all your family and friends Then forgive everyone else from your past and present and even +your future Forgive people from every walk of life Forgive the rich the poor all sides of the +political spectrum Forgive humanity then fate and then the entire universe Have no fear of +rejection from others have no need to be accepted Be able to say love you with no regret +Cherish yourself and your body the way it is and know that you along with everyone else +are absolutely worthy of being loved +Human kindness is the surest step toward deep healing from any kind of trauma +Expect only good from others and project this expectation in the form of positive overtures +People wont be able to help but respond to you in positive ways and their responses will +reinforce your view of the world as a pleasant place further entrenching your expectations +If you work hard at becoming pure of heart you will earn your way to peace Combined +with altruistic acts youll find pleasure And combined with assertiveness and composure +you will find power +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +used to have a stinging pain in my chest that would surface during stress It was healed +after made a deliberate effort to be pure of heart The notion that had pure intentions +reassured some last bastion of muscles in my thorax that they could stop their defensive +bracing could feel these muscles release And because they could finally relax was able to +bring them to a full contraction using exercises such as the coughing laughing panthoot +and diaphragmatic stretching exercises Being pure of heart is the most foolproof way to ensure +that you are breathing easily and consider it the eighth and final tenet of optimal breathing +Conclusion +Most people have a secret fear of being bad or having done things for which they can never +atone But it is never too late to start being pure of heart You can do it at any point in time +Start now As you take on the Program Peace system recommend that you imagine yourself +turning over a new leaf Decide to let go of the regret shame and guilt you have carried with +you from past misdeeds and mistakes Turn any ounce of selfhatred that you may harbor into +selfforgiveness Guilt keeps us from becoming good people so use your participation here as +an excuse to get rid of it Purify your heart by allowing yourself to make it a clean slate +Trauma has made it difficult to be cool playful humorous and pure of heart By removing +the trauma you will make these things much easier See yourself as going from afflicted to +blessed See yourself as principled incorruptible and salt of the earth When you think pure of +heart think dominant but nondominating Think nonsubordinate but nonaggressive Think +assertive but lighthearted Having faith in your goodness is the key to making optimism and +relaxation possible Know that what youre doing comes from a good place with other peoples +best interests in mind As long as you know that you mean right by others you dont have to +worry about offending them with your composure Expect yourself to be pure of heart in +everything you do and conceive of your life from here on to be a heros journey +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +Chapter Bullet Points +e Treat everyone as if they are the least awkward person you have ever met +e There are so many ways to be endearing Theres no need to forfeit your composure or +health to do so +e Creating a pure of heart mindset will make many of your troubles disappear +When mammals are playful they are truly wonderful creatures +e You can directly reduce stress by stimulating the play and nurturance areas of your +brain To do this you must be playful with and nurture others +e The feel good neurochemicals like endorphins serotonin oxytocin and vasopressin +derive from kind behavior Nature endorses morality +e Remember that real virtue does not complement itself and is not even aware of itself as +a virtue +e Laughing exercises will give you a bold laugh and fortify your innards +e Every laugh should almost sound antagonistic as if you were laughing at someone +but only because it is assertive and unaffected by submissive tendencies +e Anight full of fake laughing and smiling will increase the tension you feel the next +morning And yet one minute of genuine unadulterated laughing can relieve all +that strain +e Selfstimulating happiness is key to perpetuating your upward developmental spiral +e Selfamusement is very healthy and a trait of dominant people +e Feel free to be silly +e Act like every day is your birthday and every night is Saturday night +When you are mistreated think of it as an opportunity for personal growth Consciously +deciding to underreact to negativity is regarded by many to be the most powerful way +to achieve spiritual growth +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Endnotes +Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great +game of life Academic Press +Snyder C R Lopez S J Oxford handbook of positive psychology nd ed +Oxford University Press +Taylor S E Armor D A Positive illusions and coping with adversity Journal of +Personality Carver C S Scheier M E Segerstrom S C Optimism +Clinical Psychology Review +Scheier M E Weintraub J K Carver C S Coping with stress Divergent +strategies of optimism and pessimists Journal of Personality and Social Psychology +Frederickson B L Levenson R Positive emotions speed recovery from the +cardiovascular sequelae of negative emotions Cognition Emotion +Wohr M Schwarting R K W Ultrasonic communication in rats Can playback of +kHz calls induce approach behavior PLoS ONE e +Simonet P Versteeg D Storie D July August Doglaughter Recorded +playback reduces stress related behavior in shelter dogs Paper presentation Proceedings of +the th International Conference on Environmental Enrichment +Panksepp J December The riddle of laughter neural and psychoevolutionary +underpinnings of joy Current Directions in Psychological Science +Provine R R Laughter A scientific exploration Viking +Folkman S Nathan P E The Oxford handbook of stress health and coping +Oxford University Press +Godfrey J R Toward optimal health The experts discuss therapeutic humor +Journal of Womens Health +Dunbar R M Group size vocal grooming and the origins of language +Psychonomic Bulletin Review +Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness +Dunbar R M Baron R Frangou A Eiluned P van Leeuwen E J C Stow J +Partridge G MacDonald I Barra V van Vugt M Social laughter is correlated with +an elevated pain threshold Proceedings of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences +Dunbar R M Group size vocal grooming and the origins of language +Wohr M Kehl M Borta A Schanzer A Schwarting R K Hoglinger G U +New insights into the relationship of neurogenesis and affect Tickling induces hippocampal cell +proliferation in rats emitting appetitive kHz ultrasonic vocalizations Neuroscience +Van Edwards V Captivate The science of succeeding with people +Penguin Random House +Rogers C A way of being Houghton Mifflin +Sanders T The likability factor Crown +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Chapter Conclusions +Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it Soren Kierkegaard +Spite and illnature are among the most expensive luxuries in life Dr Samuel Johnson +The Exercises and Activities +The results you will gain from this program come in many forms and interact synergistically +They dont merely complement one another in an additive way but in a multiplicative one +For example the benefits derived from paced breathing diaphragmatic jogging passive +exhalation and stretching the diaphragm supplement each other As you get better at one +you get better at the others Because these skills are all interrelated they promote and +reinforce each other This leads to recursive improvement in which the skills form structural +platforms elevating you into an upward spiral +hope you now feel that you have a tool kit of actionable exercises and access to deep +wells of strength that had previously laid untapped You may not be sold on all the exercises +here Choose the ones you like the most and practice those for now As you monitor your +progress you may realize you have largely rehabilitated certain body parts This may motivate +you to go back to other exercises that didnt seem as appealing at first In this book wrote +about what found helpful to pair with paced breathing What benefitted me is not necessarily +what will best benefit you so encourage you to experiment with your own forms of +diaphragmatic generalization If you come up with a new technique please share it on the web +with our online community +Do keep in mind that a few days of changed perspective might feel like enough to gain the +full benefits of Program Peace However it may not be sufficient to override your ingrained +routines permanently This system is all about rehearsal Sustained weekly practice is key +Be persistent and your efforts will pay off Some of these activities may feel onerous at first +but they will quickly become comfortable after you have completed them a few times Most of +the exercises in this book are at least partially routinized after the first five sessions This means +they can be done with minimal concentration from that point on ie while on the phone or in +front of the TV +It was incredibly heartening to know that these exercises were slowly making me a +stronger happier person knew that was making daily progress and that something of value +was germinating within me Anticipate positive results with pleasure and excitement When this +happens the exercises become intrinsically rewarding As you watch yourself change you will +realize that all these attributes you assumed were genetic and fixed at birth are trainable +By the end of this book the first table from Chapter should take on an entirely new +meaning Employ as many of the dominant displays from that table as you can in the +exercise below +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Concluding Exercise Diaphragmatic Phone Conversation +Perform paced breathing with a breath metronome while on the phone with a friend +Breathe nasally guided by a metronome when the other person is speaking When you are +talking take complete inhales without gasping and then speak over a complete exhalation +Try it in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye calmly as if you were looking at your +caller Next use a handsfree attachment for your phone and walk around your house back +yard or neighborhood while using as many of the elements of optimal body language +described in this book as you can +Stress and Overexertion +As this book has contended operating without composure can gravely deplete our health +When we live in distress we are borrowing health from our future It is the toll exacted ona +methamphetamine addict or a president during an eightyear term We are talking about a +constant state of overexertion in which the body takes a lot of abuse at the expense of your +charisma physique intelligence mental health and spiritual growth +Distress is an appropriate strategy for an animal with strong evidence that it may die ina +few seconds It is a terrible strategy for you and me We have discussed how your fight or flight +response is seldom directed toward actual fighting or taking flight Instead it is directed to +bracing strain paradoxical breathing hyperventilation apneic disturbances rapid heartbeat +pain egoism and submission To prove to your body that you are not at risk of premature +death you have to divert your focus away from the bad toward gratitude playfulness purity +and optimism +The retraction of the gill by the sea slugs discussed in Chapter shows that they dont +have faith in their world The slugs exhibiting this defensive reflex in response to being +uncontrollably prodded and shocked in the lab are on high alert Their defensive and escape +responses are exaggerated and their responses to positive events are blunted The slugs that +have not been subjected to this dont show the same defensiveness and are referred to by +scientists as naive +Just because you are not on high alert doesnt mean you are naive Be the sea slug that has +seen it all and yet still knows that the best way to live is never to brace its gills Dont treat +every threat as novel Generalize your desensitization to negativity toward every conceivable +peril Do it now Drop your facade let your gills hang keep drawing long deep inhalations +and learn to expect the best from the world +Your Transformation +Before Program Peace was uncomfortable with my own presence exuded tentativeness and +a lack of any conviction would wring my hands constantly My dreams were always desperate +situations Once a week would wake from sleep yelling in terror Between the ages of and +would find myself whispering the words Oh my god over and over every day That was +a nightmare was my mantra had unbearable tension welling up inside of me gushing out in +the form of tortured body language hated my home everything in my room everything on +Chapter Conclusions +my desk all things and all people because experienced them through the throes of +distressed breathing +When turned discovered that everything hurt a little bit It hurt to stand up it hurt to +run it hurt to sit for too long it hurt to turn my neck it hurt to use the restroom it hurt to +swallow and every social interaction hurt concluded that this was an irreversible effect of +aging But now am twice that age and none of those things hurt After two years of Program +Peace you should find that you feel much younger than when you started You will experience +a personal metamorphosis internally and externally You will have acquaintances ask what kind +of antianxiety or antidepressant drugs you have been prescribed Others will ask which +cosmetic procedures you have undergone +Now that breathe diaphragmatically and send very few subordination displays the core of +my personhood has changed used to take dangerous risks that bordered on having a death +wish never do that today am less impulsive less compulsive and less codependent The +imp of the perverse no longer haunts me and no longer play the part of a scapegoat jester +martyr or victim am no longer consumed with melancholy and selfpity am no longer a +defeatist or misanthrope These were recurring themes in my life since childhood Now they +are distant memories +All my favorite fictional works involve going on an epic adventure encountering bad guys +converting them into allies and then recruiting them to the team The antagonists in this story +are really good guys waiting to be reformed The thoracic breathing muscles the sneering +muscles the muscles involved in headaches and those that make us sick to our stomach are all +potential allies Once converted your chakralike modules will become trusted comrades +You will find yourself using them to transform other people into comrades as well +Breath Mastery +Breathing slowly and deeply with the diaphragm is difficult at first because your respiratory +musculature and the nerves that control it have developed their own default pace You must +overcome this default It is a bit like standing chestdeep in the ocean trying to keep your +balance amid turbulent unpredictable waves As you reprogram your breathing accept the +occasional unexpected breaker Embrace the uneven gushes the chaotic swells and the +startling surges knowing that with time you will control the tides Permanently This final +exercise will engage your diaphragm using antilaxity to help accomplish just that +Concluding Exercise Slow Inhale from a Deep Squat +Rest in a deep squat where your butt is nearly touching your ankles Lean your torso forward +and downward so that your chest is touching your knees You might place your knees in your +armpits This position will push your diaphragm up against the internal organs of your +abdomen making it much more difficult to inhale fully Take prolonged inhalations that +each last between and seconds Feel free to rest and catch your breath between these +inhalations You might use a stopwatch or your paced breathing app to ensure that these +breaths are long This can be made more challenging if done after a meal +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +As you are inhaling and your diaphragm descends it will be exposed to a much heavier load +than usual It may feel shaky or tremble Use the antilaxity protocol from Chapter to +engage the diaphragm firmly as it expands Doing this slowly and smoothly using the belly +breath technique from Chapter will build strength and stability in the diaphragm and +enhance your control of it +COQ +Illustration Inhaling slowly from a deep squat can challenge and strengthen the diaphragm +Whether squatting lying sitting or standing taking a deep diaphragmatic inhalation for +more than seconds is a long trek across a barren desert After the first five seconds +you realize that youre not going to make it to the other side unless you let go of excess +baggage The baggage consists of those burdensome bracing patterns you are incapable of +setting down until you are engrossed in respiration Try it now Take a second inhalation +Halfway through you will feel strain throughout your body begin to drop away When +breathing at long intervals you dont have the craze and furor to haul this luggage around with +you Every time you cross this desert by taking a prolonged inhalation you further program +your chakralike modules to let go of their unnecessary burdens +Allow me a final analogy You may be familiar with the Greek mythological figure of +Sisyphus a man condemned to rolling a boulder up a hill As soon as he gets the boulder to the +top it rolls back down and he must start overfor all eternity It is a sad story and is +considered a tragedy Now imagine that Sisyphus didnt let the boulder roll down the hill +Imagine that he unnecessarily lowered it down using his hands step by step at great effort +If this were the case then the poor guy would never have a chance to rest Right +One must imagine Sisyphus happy Albert Camus +Relating this back to the body merely being an animal is hard work We must labor +every day just to provide our bodies with what they require When stress causes our muscles to +remain tense even when they should be resting this work becomes Sisyphean The same goes +for breathing The inhale takes work Your exhale is your diaphragms only chance to relax so if +you keep it braced during those few seconds of outflow you are completely depriving it of rest +In Exercise you practiced allowing your diaphragm to go completely limp during the +exhalation thus giving it the brief respite it needs to stop contracting so that it can regenerate +Chapter Conclusions +properly Whenever you notice that your muscles are not passive during rest imagine letting go +of Sisyphus boulder and letting it roll down the hill on its own +aly +SBS +Ja +Illustration Concluding analogies +This book has laid out eight tenets of peaceful breathing think of them as an eightfold +path to optimal respiration Here they are +The Eight Tenets of Peaceful Breathing +Breathe deeply high volume Breathe more fully breathing most of the way in and out +in a way that pushes the belly forward during each inhalation +Breathe longer low frequency Breathe at longer intervals in which each inhalation and +exhalation lasts for more time +Breathe smoothly continuous flow Breathe at a steady slow constant rate +Breathe assertively confident Do not let social concerns or stressors conflict with the +other rules +Exhale passively Allow your breathing muscles to go limp during each exhalation +Breathe nasally Breathe through the nose with nostrils flared +Oceans Breath Relax the back of your throat and breathe as if you are fogging up +a glass +Breathe with purity of heart Knowing that you have only the best intentions and that +you exemplify the combination of nonsubmissive and nondominating will infuse your +breathing with peace +used to imagine how mindbogglingly complex it would be to use brain surgery to reduce +someones propensity for negative thinking For instance you cannot just cut out the amygdala +because this produces all kinds of unwanted side effects Instead it would involve complex +submicroscopic manipulations of billions of neurons and trillions of synapses Where would you +start Diaphragmatic breathing retraining does precisely this but requires no neuroscientific +knowledge no futuristic technology and no invasive techniques By placing you in a state of +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +calm from which you can reconceptualize your life paced breathing will make precise +peaceproducing alterations to your cerebral cortex amygdala hypothalamus brainstem +heart diaphragm gut adrenal glands and other organ systems all over the body The figure +below depicts the curative effects as a virtuous cycle to be contrasted with Figure +RESPIRATORY +Assertive Loose +Nasal Passive Exhale +Mobile Diaphragm +Happiness +PSYCHOLOGICAL +Assertive Calm Selfassured +Positive Thinking Worldview +Sociable Leadership Playfulness +Positive Human Interactions +Sharing Helping Mending +Contentedness Optimism +Confidence Positive Affect +BEHAVIORAL +Muscular Sustainable +Diaphragmatic Breathing Resting Microbreaking Optimal Length +Deep Long Smooth Relaxation Optimal Posture Loading Optimal Blood Flow +Dominant Displays +Muscle Regeneration +Limber Open Inviting +THE DIAPHRAGMATIC +MUSCULAR +Elongation of Trigger Points +Optimal Alignment +Muscle Growth +Even Use Hypertrophy +Physical Pleasure +BREATHING CYCLE +Emotional +A +Pleasure +PHYSIOLOGICAL +Parasympathetic Upregulation +Deaging Chakra Healing +Homeostasis Anabolism +Beneficial Developmental Plasticity +Endorphins Oxytocin Serotonin +Optimal Heart Rate High HRV +PFC and Hippocampus Growth +Figure Diaphragmatic breathing creates a virtuous cycle +A Genes Eye View +The scientific evidence suggests that we are here on Earth because a complex molecule got +stuck in a rut of selfreplication Our situation as survival machines for DNA can be given a +negative or positive valence Our pain and the pain we inflict on each other can make this +situation a curse It is too often a frenzied freeforall where as Tennyson said nature is red in +tooth and claw But if we are actively engaged in improving the quality of our life and other +sentient beings lives then we transform the condition from a curse to a blessing believe +making this transformation gives life meaning Your every action display and word may have +reverberating repercussions on reality that will continue to echo in the physical universe +forever Instead of contributing to pain through abusive communication contribute to peace +and love +The nerves that course trauma through our bodies are the reigns by which our selfish +genes control us From our genes perspective happiness and confidence are risky and might +get us killed They are only to be expressed in utopian environments Our cells operate on the +assumption that aggression and submission keep us on the straight and narrow that living +without them is problematic applicable only when our environment is sending us reliable cues +that it is unrealistically hospitable We must overcome the genetically hardwired negativity bias +and fear of relaxation To do this we can use diaphragmatic breathing to trick our organs and +Chapter Conclusions +cells into thinking that our world is an unparalleled paradise This will give you the elbow room +you need to coddle your inner pet encourage your inner child and admire your inner +caveperson If we can do this we all no matter our age or the extent of our trauma have the +developmental plasticity to become genuinely happy +Turn Off the Behavioral Inhibition System +Jeffrey Alan Gray proposed the biopsychological theory of personality in and it remains +a widely accepted model The theory hypothesized two systems a the behavioral inhibition +system which stops us from doing things out of fear and b the behavioral activation system +which causes us to do things out of positive motivation for reward He proposed that these two +systems are constantly interacting and that people vary in the extent to which these systems +influence their behavior +People who have an overactive behavioral inhibition system spend their life repressing +their impulses and restraining their desires They are sensitive to punishment and perceive it as +highly aversive A predisposition toward behavioral inhibition starts in infancy Toddlers who +are behaviorally inhibited have higher heart rates higher stress hormone levels tighter vocal +cords and highly reactive amygdalae would assume that they are also predisposed to +distressed breathing +The behavioral inhibition system has been proposed to be the causal basis of anxiety and +depression It is what keeps us from dancing laughing and improvising and pulls us to retreat +into our shells The behavioral activation system is the opposite It promotes approach +behavior cheerfulness spontaneity and sociability As you might have guessed the exercises +in this book aim to activate the behavioral activation system The following table offers +further detail +Behavioral Inhibition System Behavioral Activation System +Emotion Fear of pain Excitement for pleasure +Motivation Avoid punishments Approach rewards +Arousal Sympathetic Neutral Parasympathetic +Personality Introverted Reserved Extraverted Outgoing +Personality Disorder Anxious Depressed Impulsive Exploitative +Hierarchical Station Submissive Dominant +Affect Negative Positive +Outlook Cynical Hopeful +Table Comparing the Behavioral Inhibition and Activation Systems +You will find that the consequences of these two systems reach into every facet of your life +For instance as shot a basketball in my twenties would retract from the ball in a cringing +motion This was the behavioral inhibition system in action Today my hand follows through and +remains briefly in the air at full arm extension Disinhibiting your followthrough is integral to +your ability to score Be an exhibitionist and treat everything like a game you are playing to win +We need to be accepting of the fact that we will continue to suffer social failures We will +displease some and not be liked by others But if we let our fear of these things lead to +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +inhibition social defeat will be inevitable Never choose to withdraw when confronted by a +stressor Always approach When you find yourself upset dont pull away Push back playfully +You deserve to be loved and respected while being your true unfiltered self +See the roadmap for your life as a long series of green lights and ease off the breaks +At every fork in the road ask yourself How would an undamaged badass version of me deal +with this situation Start visualizing this person when you think about yourself When you +imagine doing something picture this person doing it In time you will become that person +Within a pack of mammals status roles are often initially determined by an animals +intrinsic energy level The boisterous youngsters become the pack leaders These are usually +animals that have very low activation of the behavioral inhibition system The animals that +expend more energy in play foraging and socializing rise to leadership positions How can you +get your energy levels up This book has detailed how how to remove knots how to reverse +frailty and how not to leak energy +Dominant people proactively pursue their interests without being hindered by +unproductive social fears They have faith in their ability to succeed and trust that others cant +stop them They are not embarrassed easily Neither do they secondguess themselves or worry +about what others will think Dont stifle the pleasure principle and hide your desires just to get +along with others Like a rambunctious wolf cub learn to be okay with the social conflict that +arises when you try to gratify your wants +Dont be a zoo animal released into a wildlife park that still crouches within the invisible +confines of its old cage Having put yourself on a short leash you are the only one who can take +it off To beat the behavioral inhibition system you must be spontaneous and do the first thing +that comes to mind more often Dont be afraid to let your inner animal free Be resolute in +your opinions Charm people with pizzazz Make bold and audacious announcements about +positive things Show some backbone sing with your heart and live with guts and gusto +Chapter Conclusions +Ilustration Analogies used in this text +Being Pure of Heart Will Free You from Retaliation Apprehension +Let me leave you with a description of one final concept from psychology retaliation +apprehension This is when we feel worried that someone will take what we are saying or doing +in the wrong way and get offended Retaliation apprehension shows in your face breathing +and body language It is difficult to describe verbally but people recognize it immediately when +they see it +My brother has extraordinarily little retaliation apprehension This is why he can make a +personal joke about someone and they never get mad Often it seems that he can say +whatever he wants to anyone at any time and get away with it If were to say the same thing +in the same tone people would be miffed My brother can do this because he shows zero +concern about the other person retaliating This allows him to poke fun at people and things in +a playful way without offending +Retaliation apprehension is not just an admission of remorse for known wrongdoing It is a +state of mind we have even when we have done nothing wrong A tendency toward retaliation +apprehension can start very early in life Many adults have anxious attachment issues that +stem from their early relationship with their parents The child with anxious attachment is +preoccupied with what pleases and displeases their caretaker They see their relationship +with their mother and father as fragile and they feel at risk for rejection and abandonment +This leads to fear of and obsession with the emotions of others +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Refrain from scanning others for a hint of displeasure with you It is submissive The best +way to do this is to not think about it Drop any worries about defending yourself Expecting the +other person to like you and not being offended should be presumptive and implicit in your +demeanor Regularly dropping your defenses in this way should lower your cortisol blood +pressure and heart rate while raising your feelgood neurotransmitters and HRV It should also +make it easier to breathe with the diaphragm +Acting with zero retaliation apprehension is one of the most dominant things you can do +Still it must be authentic To do it properly you must have good intentions This is where being +pure of heart discussed in the last chapter comes in When you feel completely secure in the +fact that your actions are well intentioned and that you are a force for good fear of retaliation +wont even cross your mind It will make social harmony a default that you dont have to work +or strive for When using the pure of heart mindset your retaliation apprehension can be nil +even when your behavioral activation system is running at full force +Conclusion How to Play the Dominance Game +Humans have a strong instinctual predilection for submissive behavior When submissive body +language goes on for too long it makes us vulnerable to various forms of muscular tension +which in turn make us vulnerable to disease This biological propensity should be studied +through both basic and applied research and fully addressed by medical science There should +also be explicit social contracts that limit the extent of submissiveness we require from one +another in both personal and professional sectors The more awareness you and can create +the sooner this will happen +Hopefully this book has made it clear that the abysmal repercussions of submission and +aggression hamper human potential If we can minimize our tendencies toward destructive +status striving and the social tensions that eat us up inside we can increase our productiveness +If we can help others do this we can increase humankinds productivity and problemsolving +potential +If someone has better posture than we do we should still stand tall If someone has a more +powerful voice we should continue to speak powerfully If someone has a bigger smile we +should keep smiling wholeheartedly Comparing ourselves to others like arming ourselves +against others is for animals in submissive mode Put your sword anger and shield +rejection sensitivity down Let your burdensome armor retaliation apprehension drop to the +floor Recognize that the combination of being nonaggressive and nonsubmissive has made +you not only invulnerable but incomparable +If you are going to play the dominance game play it with a competitive spirit play it fairly +play it without malice and without exposing yourself to trauma Play it breathing +diaphragmatically all the while Dont flaunt your position or be embarrassed by it Dont puff +up when things go your way and dont shrivel up when they dont Think of yourself as +dominant without having to dominate Keep in mind that no one really wins in the end so there +is no reason to keep score Instead see competition as iron sharpening iron See it as +productive play that makes every participant stronger Turn contests into friendly cooperative +games in which everyone is a teammate whether they know it or not This will not only earn +you friends but it will also make you imperturbable indomitable and selfpossessed +Chapter Conclusions +Chapter Endnotes +Braem S Duthoo W Notebaert W Punishment sensitivity predicts the impact +of punishment on cognitive control PLoS ONE e +Moehler E Kagan J OelkersAx R Brunner R Poustka L Haffner J Resch F +Infant predictors of behavioral inhibition British Journal of Development Psychology +Gray J A The psychophysiological basis of introversionextraversion +Behavioral Research and Therapy +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +Program Peace Paced Breathing App for iPhone and Android +Download the free Program Peace app as a companion to this book Using the app will train you +to breathe deeper and longer It also provides an easytouse interface without bloat clutter +ads signins inapp purchases or full version upgrades +Place the app next to a book computer monitor tablet or TV so that you can pace your +breathing while you attend to other things Listen to music or audiobooks while using the app +Place it in your pocket and select vibrate if you want to use it in silence handsfree Select how +long you want your inhales and exhales to be Peruse the preset breathing rates to learn about +various breathing methods Practice the Program Peace exercises to build confidence a positive +mindset and rehabilitate systems throughout your body +Scientific studies have shown that paced breathing lowers blood pressure heart rate muscle +tension and calms the mind Research has also shown that breathing at longer intervals can +improve mood focus and flexibility increase athletic performance reduce recovery time +mitigate fatigue and help people get to sleep at night This app is designed to help you take full +advantage of those benefits +For more information you can visit www programpeacecom +ler +raosnayy SET BREATHING RATE +pee Breaths Per Minute +eA Inhale sec +ioe +Inhale Hold sec +Exhale sec +a ap +Exhale Hold sec +ap +Start Session Ji +Cycles min sec +oe ap +Preset Rates +Easy Pace i +Beginner Pace i +Intermediate Pace +Before Sleep i +Box Breathing Fi +BINIBION +Cardiac Coherence +Rate +rs +aay EXERCISES +The following are some of Program Peaces most +beneficial exercises Click on a button below to +read about and start an exercise Your progress +will be recorded +Name Count Length +Using the +Metronome +mE Prolonged +Vocalization +Practicing a +Smooth Inhalation +Ov +Oi +Eyes with +No Facade +Fi +L ip +While Talking +Unbracing the +Diaphragm While +Exhaling +Exercises +FEATURES +Customizable breathing bar +Choose your breathing intervals +Over a dozen preset rates +Optional breath holds +Current and longest streaks +Track your history and progress +Multiple sound effects +Rank system +Multiple color themes +Custom reminders +Recommended exercises +Vibrate function +Multiple audible cues +Dark mode +Color palette options +Original informative content +Chapter Conclusions +Program Peace Fitness Manual Journal +Download this free journal to keep track of your Program Peace exercise sessions and progress +It also includes a day program that teaches you the fundamentals of exercise nutrition and +fitness according to current scientific research Whether your goal is weight loss muscle gain +flexibility cardiovascular health or just logging your exercises this fitness planner can help +Track numerous fitness metrics and establish monthly goals Make records about your exercise +diet sleep stretching meditation strength training goals daily steps heart rate variability and +other important data By completing the worksheets and following the recommendations in +just days you can build new longlasting habits Buy the paperback on Amazon or download +the free PDF at wwwprogrampeacecom +oe +FITNESS MANU +ARED E +Daily Fitness Tracker +jewnor yenuey SsouDy DVad WYYDOUd +yd ySu GUE +Diet and Nutrition +Use the table below to get a general sense of where your calories should +be coming from and how to balance your meals The information is +adapted from highly reliable sources including the US Nutrition Board +and is promoted on the basis of scientific studies Check the website for +US food recommendations at wwwmyplategov and the website of the +American Dietetic Association at wwweatrightorg For individualized +dietary advice see a registered dietician +USDA ChooseMyPlateorg Recommended Daily Food Intake For a Calorie Diet +Daily Average +Food Group Cos sence Significance +Grains Energy and fiber +Whole Grains +Refined Grains oz +Nageaine eee Potassium magnsiym ler vitamins +Dark Green Vegetables S cups +Teup +teup +cups +Other Vegetables cups +pre ities Potassium magnesium fiber +vitamins and minerals +Dairy Low or NonFat cups Calcium and protein +Protein Foods Meat ee Protein and magnesium zinc +and Eggs vitamin B +Protein and magnesium zinc vitamin +Seafood por wook Sposa +ils grams Essential oe acids +IGRAM +FEATURES +that last +Customizable undated worksheets to log your +favorite exercises sets and reps +Keep notes about duration intensity and +impressions to keep track of your progress +Space to record nutritional intake body weight +selfmassage blood pressure flexibility balance +cardio heart rate skin fold measures body +circumference BMI TDEE RMR and workout goals +Record hours of nightly sleep breathing exercises +flights climbed hours standing and much more +Read detailed fitness and diet recommendations to +help you understand your body and achieve results +Understanding Your Waist and Hip +Circumference +The relative location of fat deposits on the body influences disease risk +The appleshaped fat distribution fat in the abdominal area carries greater +health risks than the pearshaped kind fat on the hips and thighs This is +because abdominal body fat is more easily released into the bloodstream +For this reason a lower waisttohip ratio is preferable Comparing your +waisttohip ratio can provide a helpful measure of health monitoring +information This ratio is calculated by dividing the waist circumference that +you found in the last section by hip circumference You want this fraction to +be small and it is best if it is less than +Waist circumference Hip circumference WaisttoHip Ratio +WaisttoHip Ratio Norms +Gender Excellent Good Average At Risk +Male +Female +Criteria for Waist Circumference +Waist Circumferenc +Risk Category Females Males +Very Low Zin in +Low +High +Very High a +Health Risks Associated with Excessive Body Fat and Waist Circumference +impaired cardiac function due to increased workload on the heart +hypertension stroke heart disease high blood pressure diabetes +in thrombosis increased insulin resistance renal disease sleep +apnea pulmonary disease problems receiving anesthesia during surgery +osteoarthritis degenerative joint disease gout endometrial breast prostate +colon and other cancers abnormal plasma lipid and cholesterol levels +gallbladder disease psychological stress social stigma and discrimination +Calculate Your Daily Protein Needs +How much protein should you be eating daily The average person +needs between and grams of protein per pound of body weight +per day A sedentary individual should eat between and grams +of protein per day An athlete should intake between and +grams of protein every day To find your optimal intake use the table +below to choose a protein factor to multiply by your body weight in +the equation below +Grams of Protein Needed Per +Pound of Body Weight +Protein Factor +grams +iso grams +Moderate Exercise grams +grams +grams +Calculate your daily protein needs +Body weight Ibs Protein factor Grams per day +Increasing your daily protein intake has benefits Protein takes more +energy to burn than fats and sugars meaning that increasing the +protein in your diet can help boost your metabolism Also protein is the +macronutrient that is the most difficult to convert into fat Highprotein +diets have been shown to be more filling than other types of diets +which can reduce your urge to eat Consider eating extra protein +before and directly after exercise to help in the synthesis and repair +of muscle proteins +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body +AntiRigidity How to Release Muscle from Partial Contraction +Antirigidity is a rehabilitative method for releasing muscles from excessive tension and partial +contraction Because it was used throughout the book it is outlined here +Optional +Preparation +AntiRigidity +Afterwards +e Stretching +e Cardio +Weightlifting +e Heat +e Massage +Increase blood flow using +Assume stiff rarely used +positions and postures +Firmly contract the muscles +involved until they fatigue +Explore configurations that +crack +Use diaphragmatic breathing +Search for and contract into +aching or soreness until it +fades +Help the muscles rest using +e Repeated contraction +e Full relaxation +e Heat or cold +e Massage +e Vibration +Muscle in Partial +Contraction +Muscle in Full +Contraction +Muscle at Resting +Length +Before AntiRigidity +During AntiRigidity +After AntiRigidity +Chapter Conclusions +Program Peace Tools and Ways of Being +Personal +Care +Paced Breathing Prioritize Composure Exercise Hydrate Sleep Eight Hours +Walk Take Time for Yourself Live in the Present Awareness of Startling +Flinching Trembling Fasting Interoception Using a Stethoscope Optimism +Social +Optimal Body Language Nonsubmissive Nondominating Nondefensive +Grooming Caressing Massaging Others No Unnecessary Competition +Camaraderie Steady Eye Contact Annunciating Clearly Playfulness Laughing +Smiling Connectedness Bonding Nurturance Healthy Sex Free and Open +Body Language Taking Up Space Humble Indomitable Forgiving +Affectionate Breaking Up Fights Sharing Helping Mending Loving +Breathing +Paced Breathing Long Deep Smooth Assertive Breaths Passive Exhale +Belly Breathing Rehab the Diaphragmatic Speedbump Dormancy Apneic +Disturbances Nasal Breathing Taping the Mouth Diaphragmatic Vocalization +Reading Out Loud Throat Limp Voice Deep and Relaxed PantHoot Oceans +Breath Diaphragm Stretch Breath Holding Exercises +Muscles +Antirigidity Antilaxity Microbreaks Postural Awareness Massage +Compression Percussion Vibration Delocalized Pressure Bidirectional +Control Progressive Relaxation Body Scan Stretching Yoga Firm +Contractions Full Range of Motion Decompression Stretchlying +Glidewalking Counterposes Postural Variety +Mindset +Egalitarian Worldview Nonjudgmental Nonresistant Nonattached +Empathy and Compassion Desensitization Control Rising to Meet Adversity +Eustress the Challenge Response Coolness Pureness of Heart Watching +the Thinker Mindfulness Gratitude Fearlessness Funloving Composed +Kindness Emotional Maturity Dominance Imperturbable Selfpossessed +Avoid +Retaliation Apprehension Rejection Sensitivity Timidity Domineering +Gasping Breath Holding Lack of Rest Lack of Sleep Overeating Overly Sweet +Salty Fatty Foods Lying Gossiping Vanity Taking Offense Addictive +Behaviors Violent Media Horror Unnecessarily Loud Music Drugs Alcohol +Inhibition Withdrawal Avoidance +Postural +Neck Retracted Shoulders Back and Down Abs Contracted Chest Spread +Glutes Contracted Feet Parallel Urine Retention and Expulsion Eyes Wide +Eyes Fixated Eyes Up Head Pointing Up Ability to Glare and Frown Eyes +Unblinking Relaxed Eyebrows Expressionless Mewing Sneer Awareness +Smiling +PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body