diff --git "a/peace_program.csv" "b/peace_program.csv" deleted file mode 100644--- "a/peace_program.csv" +++ /dev/null @@ -1,17775 +0,0 @@ -line -PROGRAM -PEACE -SelfCare Exercises to Reprogram -Your Mind and Body -JARED EDWARD RESER PuD -Did you know the most dominant apes and monkeys are usually the kindest -They share the most food groom others more often break up fights are slow to -anger and breathe in a relaxed manner Those on the bottom of the social hierarchy -are the opposite They are stingy combative irritable anxious depressed and they -breathe shallowly It is not easy for a submissive primate to become dominant -They have mindsets mannerisms and muscle tension that keep them from -escaping their subordinate social strategy and the chronic stress it produces -All of this generalizes to people If you want to be free of negative emotion you need -to rehabilitate physical trauma in your breath eyes face voice heart gut spine -and brain Program Peace will coach you to do precisely this by first retraining your -breathing pattern and then walking you through dozens of innovative and effective -selfcare exercises After creating new mindsets and mannerisms and learning to -reinvigorate muscles you never knew you had you will find yourself more confident -healthier kinder and reprogrammed for peace -PROGRAM -PEACE -SelfCare Exercises to Reprogram -Your Mind and Body -JARED EDWARD RESER PuD -ISBN Hardcover -ISBN Softcover -Program Peace Press -want the information in this book to be widely available to as many people as possible -That is why the book is not copyrighted All text and illustrations are registered under a -Creative Commons AttributionNonCommercialShareAlike International License It is based -on work on wwwprogrampeacecom and wwwobservedimpulsecom that was first published -in -Anyone may copy and distribute excerpts from this book create new works or otherwise reuse -it noncommercially provided they give credit and license creations under identical terms The -book is available for free as a website and a PDF at wwwprogrampeacecom -Jared Edward Reser PhD -COSO -Table Of Contents -PLePACE ooo ccc ecccceccccsssecceccsseeceeesscsaeececcssseeeecsseeeueessesaaecesesaeseeessneseeeessesaeeeeess -Program Peace Testimonials and Praise -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Optimal Quality of Life Training cccecceereeeeereeees -Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress cccseeees -Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -Recognizing Muscular Tension and Dormant Muscle -Release Tense Muscle with Compression and Massage -Thinking Peacefullly cccccscccssseccssecsseesssseesseeesssaeessaees -Reprogramming Facial Tension ccscccssscssseessteesseees -Compressing Facial Muscles for Composure and Wellbeing -Chapter Perfecting Your Smillecccccccccsscecsseeesseeeesseeesseeeenes -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Breathing Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -Release Vocal Tension ccecceceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeteeeeneeeae -Reprogram Your Posture for PoWEFC cccscceeseeeereees -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -Chapter -Combine Antirigidity with your Exercise Routine -Chapter Antirigidity Exercises for the Neck and Shoulders -Chapter Antirigidity Exercises for the Lower Back -Chapter Use Proper Posture and Antirigidity While Walking -Chapter -Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns cccccscccssseecssseesseeessees -Chapter -Chapter -Chapter -Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior ccccccecee -Chronic Stress the Amygdala and Cortisol -Listen to Your Heart and Gut cccccccccccceeeseseeeeeeeeseeee -Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation ccccee -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict ccscccssceessseeesseeeseeeenee -Chapter -Happiness Is Playfulness Composed Kindness -Chapter Conclusions cccccccsccesssceessceesseeeeseneesseeeeseeeesseeessneeesnes -Preface -About Program Peace -Program Peace is a selfcare system that will guide you through more than activities and -exercises designed to help your body function optimally Organs throughout the human body -learn to function suboptimally due to daily stress strain and negative emotions Even a good -nights sleep doesnt completely reverse these effects and they accumulate over time Stress -especially when chronic dysregulates the nervous system and impairs the performance of the -muscular respiratory and cardiovascular systems The results of these changes are wide -ranging and harmful to our mental and physical health Using the corrective exercises offered -here will help you rehabilitate the damage freeing you from pain and allowing you to feel -comfortable in your own body This system was designed to help you experience more energy -increased selfconfidence improved posture and the ability to breathe freely -Your goal will be to unlearn the submissive and aggressive nonverbal behaviors that cause -us so much stress and to replace them with healthy ways of breathing moving and thinking -The text will explain how stress and physical trauma are rooted in defensive nonverbal behavior -that we share with other mammals and lay out the Program Peace method of overcoming -them Throughout the book combine modern science with my personal experiences to -explain key concepts related to optimal wellbeing Each chapter addresses a different bodily -system and explains why you should use the exercises how they can help you and what you -can expect your progress to look and feel like -A little more background on the book started developing it along with its philosophy on -life morality and healing in early childhood have been working weekly on the present text for -more than years Much of the material in it has been available on my blog for more than ten -years have been training clients to perform the exercises for more than five have read -hundreds of related books and hundreds of scientific journal articles to inform and refine the -content The intended audience is everyone including people without a hint of anxiety or -depression However it is also for physicians psychiatrists psychologists social workers -life coaches personal trainers and other health and wellness professionals looking for safe -effective and free ways to bring about growth and progress in their clients -The Importance of Diaphragmatic Breathing -The Program Peace methodology is applied to organ systems all over the body but begins with -the breath After introducing the method in Chapters and Chapter will teach you how to -breathe in a way that activates the resting and healing division of your nervous system The key -is to breathe with maximal activation of the diaphragm Mammals in a calm and peaceful state -breathe diaphragmatically When they are exposed to adversity they instead breathe without -the diaphragm relying on the breathing muscles in their upper torsos Known as distressed -breathing this is the bodys way of preparing itself for a threatening and hostile environment -Distressed breathing is an integral part of how animals survive in the wild but too much of it -promotes chronic hyperventilation An animal that experiences ongoing mental or emotional -trauma will eventually turn distressed breathing into a deepseated habit Due to how this -affects its brain the animal ends up in constant fear for its life -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Our nervous system will always prioritize shortterm survival over longterm wellbeing as -long as it assumes our environment is dangerous This strategy holds even though it is -completely unnecessary in the modern world where we are rarely in immediate physical -danger Most stcentury humans are stuck in a state of distress because nondiaphragmatic -breathing has been ingrained in their nervous system It convinces their bodies that death may -be imminent dramatically increases muscle tension and results in constant fatigue Non -diaphragmatic breathing may be the primary reason why so many people endure persistent -pain age rapidly experience unceasing negative emotions and can never fully catch -their breath -Like most adult mammals you and have learned to stifle and strain our diaphragm -Cumulatively the nonpeaceful moments in our lives have programmed us to breathe -shallowly Program Peace is designed to teach you how to reverse this by recruiting the -diaphragm with every breath This is the process of transitioning from short shallow breaths to -long deep breaths As your diaphragm strengthens from consistent use its range of motion -increases and your neurological control over it improves allowing you to breathe more deeply -and easily without even trying It will take months but the results are worth it Adopting -diaphragmatic breathing is one of the most significant changes you can make in your life -because your body interprets it as indisputable proof that your environment is friendly -and safe -Shortcomings of This Book -created the reprogramming exercises in this book to heal my anxiety As developed them -thought they were original After researching the details came to find that variations on -some of them already existed in different clinical spiritual and selfimprovement circles It is -difficult to look for precedent in selfhelp literature because it is not organized as well as -academic literature This book focuses on methods rather than recounting a history of past -contributors apologize in advance if have not given proper credit to similar work However -am quite confident that most of the exercises in these chapters cannot be found anywhere else -Some readers may find the technical terms in this book to be overwhelming have tried -my best to make sentences with jargon accessible so that you can get the gist even if you dont -know the word wanted to keep the science in the text for the scienceminded and other -interested parties but please dont get frustrated by it If you encounter some unfamiliar -terminology just power through it and try to enjoy the read There are only a few unfamiliar -words that you will need to memorize because they pop up over and over These include -parasympathetic nervous system developmental plasticity and partial muscular -contraction -The book is very long Skim through it if you have to You can get an overview by reading -the bullet points at the end of each chapter Please take your time reading and dont feel -pressured to finish it or to read it linearly Chapters and may be the most valuable to -people trying to change their breathing By all means dogear the pages highlight text you like -and write your notes in the margins This will increase its usefulness to you and allow you to -more easily reference the passages or exercises you found helpful The book can seem -repetitive at times intentionally structured it this way to get the therapeutic and bigpicture -Preface -messages across from different angles also often use imperative sentences but am not -trying to be bossyjust a helpful coach -These pages contain over illustrations created most of them by tracing photographs -that took Each of the illustrations on the cover of the book corresponds to an analogy in the -text hoped that it would be fun for the reader to uncover the hidden meanings and have a -way to reference some of the major principles of Program Peace at a glance -Much of This Book Is Theoretical -must be clear that much of what is written in this book is speculative have strong convictions -about it coming from scientific knowledge and personal experience However as with much -else in alternative health there is no authority to confirm these hypotheses The writing -alternates between offering personal anecdotes and theories and reporting on clinical findings -and research literature To help readers discern between speculation and fact try to make it -clear which statements are supported by scientific evidence They are often accompanied by a -bibliographical citation of which there are over Many of the uncited claims are my -opinions think of them as unproven but heavily informed by scientific knowledge and based -on a new synthesis of diverse fields -It would be difficult to reach a quick and firm conclusion about the efficacy of the -techniques outlined here Empirically validating clinical methods in psychology often takes -decades It can take just as long in medicine The Program Peace activities and exercises have -not been subjected to controlled largescale experimental studies You cant just assign -randomly selected people to the treatment conditions like you would with drugs and placebos -To benefit from the exercises takes time dedication and discipline that only comes from having -a deep understanding of why and how the exercises are beneficial in the long run Of course -thats exactly what this book attempts to provide -have spent the last ten years stringently testing the exercises In this time have used -myself as a guinea pig to evaluate and hone the techniques Since doing this have trained -dozens of clients in the Program Peace method Working with individuals listening to their -feedback and seeing their bodies and minds transform have given me conviction that the -exercises here can help you hope that as you read about them and perform them yourself -you can see clearly how and why they lead to improvement Even if you never perform any of -the exercises but simply read the book you will learn actionable rules of thumb for maintaining -and improving the condition of your body -This books exercises are subject to validation through your experience am quite -confident you will quickly see and feel results that place you on a path toward expressing your -optimal genetic potential If this book helps enough people it will influence scientists and -doctors in behavioral medicine to look at the proposed methods carefully and further test and -refine them The present copy is merely the first iteration of this book Future revisions will -reflect further user feedback and researchbased findings welcome community criticism and -collaboration also want anyone to feel free to create content based on what is written here -If the program works for you and you think it can help others please share it sincerely hope -that the Program Peace method will be successful in expanding your repertoire of self -regulatory healing practices -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Disclaimer -cannot guarantee that the activities recommended here are completely safe for everyone -Some of them ask you to perturb traumatized areas of the body that could become injured -or lead to any number of medical complications Although most of the activities here are -harmless some have the potential to cause damage if performed incorrectly or by someone -with a preexisting injury or condition The exercises that have the highest potential to cause -harm are noted -The method and accompanying documentation are furnished as is and without warranty -You assume the entire risk as to the results you may obtain by use or misuse of the exercises -Please perform them with caution restraint and common sense Most importantly none of -these exercises should produce pain or discomfort after the exercise is completed If it hurts -afterward or even the next day you are doing it wrong Discontinue participation in any -exercise or activity that causes pain In such an event medical consultation should be obtained -immediately -The materials information and techniques in this book are general in nature reflect the -opinions of Jared Reser and are not intended to be a substitute for medical counsel -The content provided is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose treat -cure or prevent any disease No specific claims are made regarding the treatment of medical -diseases or disorders Always consult your doctor or health care provider before making any -medical decisions Many of the psychological topics brought up here should be explored with -a qualified mental health professional Importantly the Program Peace activities and exercises -are to be used with traditional therapies and not in place of mainstream treatment -How to Support -This entire book was never copyrighted and can be found for free at wwwprogrampeacecom -as a series of webpages and also as a single downloadable PDF chose to selfpublish the -printed version of this book to keep the price as low as possible There is zero profit margin as -the price only covers the printing and distribution costs All illustrations are in the public -domain The dedicated app available for iOS and Android is also free The tutorial videos are -free on YouTube However if you would like to contribute to Program Peace you can do so -through the Patreon link here patreoncomprogrampeace You can also make a donation via -PayPal here paypalmeprogrampeace Your help goes toward future content and updates -Thank you for your consideration To support you can also join or engage with our online -community Find us on Instagram programpeace Twitter programpeace -and Facebook and YouTube just type in Program Peace -Acknowledgments -express my gratitude to my brother William Reser and my parents Daniel Reser and Paula -Freund for fruitful and encouraging discussions would especially like to thank my mother for -providing incisive feedback on the manuscript Special thanks to Tyran Grillo PhD Matt Harvey -PhD and Beverly Gearreald each of whom edited multiple chapters Any remaining mistakes -are my own Thank you to Laura Duffy Design for help with the book cover want to thank my -friends clients and all the people who have written emails posted comments and made other -Preface -contributions to this work greatly appreciate the thoughtful insights and criticisms of -everyone who has been involved and dedicate this book to these cherished friends -About the Author -Jared Edward Reser has been developing the Program Peace exercises for over a decade -He holds a PhD and Masters degree in brain and cognitive science from the University of -Southern California He also has a Masters in psychology from Pepperdine University He has -been certified as a personal trainer and health coach He specializes in writing theoretical -research articles and emphasizes an interdisciplinary approach to integrative biology -cognitive neuroscience and artificial intelligence You can find out more about his research at -httpwwwjaredresercom -Welcome to Program Peace -Jared Edward Reser PhD -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Program Peace Testimonials and Praise -The following are unsolicited message board comments about Program Peace -Anonymous -found this site several months ago and it has been such a blessing Your method sounded too -good to be true but it made perfect sense and it worked Thank you so much for sharing this -with us -Andrew S -After looking through the techniques used in this article knew there was something to -thisSo started doing it myself days a week for about half an hour and it works -Jinu G -had immediate relief am going to try this every day -Jennifer L -Wow So happy to finally find a resource about all of this Seriouslythis is a life changer -Thank you -Dalia M -Wow Just wow just went through the whole routine and my splitting headache has been -relieved This is my new favorite thing to do Thank you -Jill -bet Im clearing away all sorts of garbage actually feel clear headed like brain fog is just -going away cant wait to keep going This is profound -Anonymous -Fantastic instant relief -Jay M -This has caused me a great deal of depression and anxiety in the past years of my life Now I -feel that a huge weight has been lifted cant wait to continue with this for the rest of my life -Brian S -Suffice to say that finding your website has been an absolute godsend In the past had never -found a guide that actually taught me how to breathe diaphragmatically and not just faking it -with stomach movement Within a few months practice have experienced a massive reduction -in all negative emotions feel substantially happier healthier and more like myself -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -My experience with chronic stress was an extreme version of the same issue that everyone on -this planet contends with Thus recounting my story of recovery provides a vivid case study -with which to compare your experience It also allows me to describe how the Program Peace -exercises relieved my symptoms so that you can see how they can relieve yours My symptoms -were pretty bad -My breathing was shallow and rapid My eyebrows were constantly raised was always -squinting and had purple creases under my eyes couldnt maintain eye contact for long before -my eyes would dart away of their own accord had an enduring lump in my throat and a -hoarse and high voice had persistent kinks in my neck tweaks in my lower back and a -clenched jaw mumbled and stammered when spoke held my breath during conversations -gasped between sentences and looked at the floor when speaking had almost no capacity to -glare frown flare my nostrils or straighten my neck in the company of others -Throughout my twenties was deeply afflicted by anxiety depression and bodily -discomfort was unaware that the symptoms described in the previous paragraph were causal -factors in this discomfort All knew is that felt perpetually distressed and couldnt figure out -why The feeling would not abate and was resulting in chronic lowgrade pain This made me -wonder Where in my body do hold this pain and how can access and extinguish it found -the physical manifestations of my stress to be completely elusive tried many different clinical -and alternative methods to improve my condition without success Popular breathing exercises -medical recommendations psychological therapy and stress reduction programs did nothing -for me So began experimenting on myself using methods derived from my knowledge of -social cognition neuroplasticity and mammalian biology The result was a system designed to -train the body to reflect an optimal environment -The core idea is this Had you been raised in a perfect world with zero negativity the way -you hold your body would be painless and symptomfree But no one is raised in an ideal world -Our spines facial muscles breathing musculature and brains have internalized trauma over our -life course Trillions of individual cells are altered on a molecular level The alterations cause -muscles and soft tissues throughout the body to become stiff and sore These insidious changes -rob us of our composure and put us in a metaphorical straitjacket That straitjacket constricts -more and more with the passage of time Left unchecked it fits a little tighter every day -until death The system presented here will teach you how to recompose yourself to escape -this stranglehold -This book presents activities and exercises for you to practice each accompanied by -relevant scientific background for perspective The focus will be on comparative physiology -explaining how our bodies function by comparing us with other animals Considering these -parallels helps us make inferences about ideal functioning in humans We saw an example of -this in the Preface When mammals are calm they breathe with the respiratory diaphragm -When they are distressed they tense the diaphragm and breathe with other respiratory -muscles The more traumatized a mammal becomes the more tense and inactive its -diaphragm becomes -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -In fact the diaphragm is one of your bodys main repositories of trauma The tightening -stranglehold discussed above partially corresponds to cumulative changes to your breathing -style that make you breathe more shallowly unevenly and rapidly You can release this trauma -by training your diaphragm which we will start later in this chapter before focusing on it in -depth in Chapter You will learn a series of methods to make your breathing permanently -deeper smoother and slower This sends an its okay to relax message to the entire body -By training your diaphragm to preside over your breathing you can convince your body to -assume that it resides in a habitat free from danger The remainder of the book will guide you -through exercises that combine this form of peaceful breathing with various postures -expressions and forms of body language In performing them you will reprogram yourself for -confidence health and peace -Stress Resides in the Way We Carry Ourselves -Most of us have knowingly or not experienced intense longterm periods of stress In my case -it happened throughout my twenties In the morning would wake up feeling anxious After -just a few social encounters my heart would be racing and my adrenaline overwhelming -Friends and acquaintances were often alarmed by the way behaved wondering what could -possibly be so stressed about would greet a friend and the expression on my face would -cause them to scan the immediate environment for threats because the fear on my face -suggested to them we were in immediate danger People would ask me What is it that youre -so worried about To which would reply Im rarely worried about anything specific It must -be biological -Under conditions of chronic stress symptoms continually worsen over time My default -stress level had been elevated over many years Upon going to bed instead of allowing myself -to return to a tranquil baseline fell asleep more frantic than the night before When this -happens the bodys systems become stuck in a state of overdrive Thought processes become -overclocked It becomes hard to fall asleep difficult to rest and impossible to relax Many of us -reach a point at which our experience of life is like a bad trip infused with the sensations of -both withdrawal and overdose As tolerance to the sensations of stress builds many people -barely notice how deranged they have allowed themselves to become -Pressing social concerns and professional responsibilities cause us to ignore the symptoms -As we habituate to the physical and mental anguish our body continues making longterm -adjustments that further entrench us in overexertion This is compounded by the fact that it has -historically been very difficult to successfully treat chronic stress Modern medicine has no real -solution aside from drugs and rest This is why most people do little to nothing about it -After a particularly bad day while lying in bed trying to meditate had an epiphany -recognized the way was holding my body as the source of my mental suffering For the first -time could feel my anxiety not as diffuse and psychological but as aching localized in my gut -stiffness in distinct spinal muscles as agonizing contortions of my face and as the misery of -stiff shaky breathing -Recognizing that did not hold my body in this way as a child immediately wanted to -know how had come to do it From that point on have been working to discover how the -body and mind compensate after being exposed to trauma In creating this system spent -countless hours analyzing my behavior and how carried myself in minute detail After -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -comparing my mannerisms with the scientific literature on the manifestations of stress in -mammalian biology came to realize was a model of precisely what not to do This process of -selfdeconstruction took me from being the most nervous person knew to the calmest -Why is stress so extensive in humans It is because it had survival benefits As a result of -our prehistoric past we react to minor threats as if they were matters of life and death Most -modern human stress derives from mundane frustrations that our bodys evolved mechanisms -misinterpret as lifethreatening dangers Although most people dont realize it most of these -minor threats are ultimately social in nature believe that the predominant source of stress -is the apprehension of social conflict and the tension that it creates Deep down we are afraid -that others will reject us if we are too calm We make ourselves feel uneasy and excitable so -that our outward manifestations of stress communicate goodwill hope this book will convince -you that you dont need to manufacture and advertise stress to avoid conflict and make friends -Illustration A Facial muscles B Crosssection of the heart C Diaphragm and bottom of the rib cage -Submissive Nonverbal Behavior Is in Our Genes -Nonverbal social displays perpetuate the majority of our bodily tension In biology a display is -an innate behavior that has evolved to serve a communicative purpose in members of the same -species Many such signals are observed in the animal kingdom They are often used to -negotiate conflict For example among wolves the pack leader has a dominant posture head -and ears up chest forward tail stiff and a confident swagger The other members of the pack -especially if unrelated to the leader walk with heads lowered ears back and tails low and -wagging They remain behind the pack leader when traveling If the alpha wolf challenges them -they will back away bend down or even lie on the ground exposing their vulnerable -underbellies It is clear to see that constant submissive signaling imprisons beta wolves in a -suboptimal state of being -Subordinate dogs use much of the same body language They lick or swallow nervously -display submissive grins freeze and tremble Many dogs in the act of submission will dribble -urine or pee on themselves without even lifting their leg Canines are not unique in this All -mammals resort to their own set of subordination displays They do it to avoid the escalation -from contest to attack To avoid outright fighting and bodily harm lowerranking individuals -send a message You dont need to undermine me because am already undermining myself -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Due to how social primates are submissive displays may be more important to them than -to any other order of mammal As primates humans constantly send out signals about -inferiority and resignation Indeed much of our nonverbal behavior exists to communicate -deference to other humans When we encounter a dominant member of our species we -restrict our breathing subvert our posture speak in a high voice and tighten our faces -Monkeys and apes routinely do the same It is essential to realize that these displays are -controlled by innate unconscious processes Although you may not think you are inferior we -were all born with neural pathways that cause us to adopt postures signifying inferiority These -pathways are encoded in our DNA and soldered into our nervous system before birth -Samuel Johnson said No two people can be half an hour together but one shall acquire -an evident superiority over the other If this is true the average person acts submissive at -least of the time Even when we meet someone new regardless of their status we stoop -our necks stop flexing our buttocks raise our shoulders and stand shorter to make certain we -do not offend them This is the equivalent of the principal mammalian submissive display of -rolling over to expose the belly -We have all known since preschool that bullies dont want us to appear calmer than they -are If they think we are too relaxed they are often willing to become violent To address this -we learn to use anxiety as a form of social lubrication would go as far as to say that very little -of my anxiety was due to the usual purported cause physical trauma and rumination about it -was not a victim of domestic abuse as a child and have never been molested believe that -most of my anxiety and depression was due to the cumulative effects of submissive signaling -These ritualized selfdestructive displays extend to our breathing We unconsciously -assume that to be respectful and friendly we must make our breathing shallow We are afraid -that if our breaths are deep and long other people will find it offensive Again shallow -breathing is inherited from our mammalian ancestry It shows other individuals that we are -taking the present encounter seriously rather than being too relaxed -The use of submissive tells communicates a history of victimization They can also -communicate that we are tired distressed possibly crippled and are not poised for fighting -Instead they show we are poised for flight This would have kept humans safe during hunting -and gathering times It may also have kept us safe from larger kids on elementary school -playgrounds But it only holds us back in modern adulthood Unless of course you are -in prison -For an inmate to avoid attracting negative attention in jail criminologists recommend using -submissive body language Their advice Never puff up your chest minimize eye contact dont -whistle dont sing dont dance and above all keep your head down pointed toward the -ground Nonsubmissive body language is taken as disrespectful Acting depressed keeps others -from wanting to attack you This was probably a major concern for our ancestors as many -experts today believe the major predator of prehistoric humans was other humans -People who have close encounters with pound silverback gorillas in the wild must do -the same The more subdued they act the less likely they are to be attacked So primatologists -in the field slump over act sheepish move very slowly and look straight at the ground -avoiding any eye contact Even though they are perfect strangers amid adult gorillas and their -young as long as they continue to do these things they are usually completely safe But you -dont live among wild gorillas and you are likely not reading this book from a jail cell so dont -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -resort to conciliatory gestures It is not your responsibility to placate anyone with postural -concessions Instead we should make it our responsibility to overcome our genetic inclinations -to do so and influence others to do the same even if only by example -Handicapping Signals Buy Mercy -Animal behaviorists point out that the costs of handicapping signals may enhance their -perceived value Because submissive behaviors hurt us others recognize them as valid Tensing -our muscles and using inefficient postures usually results in an energy deficit meaning that a -subordinate individual is spending energy to buy mercy The crouching and cringing that -nondominant wolves exhibit require extra energy and come with personal costs such as -muscular strain yet communicate that they are loyal servile members of the pack Thus -capitulation responses are authentic signals that we are operating with an impediment -Blushing and crying have been conceptualized in a similar way Indeed a blush can be -unwanted but often the costs to the blusher can be outweighed by the benefits The -involuntary aspect of a blush declares sensitivity to social norms and proves to others that you -feel shame or guilt and value the group Crying is an extreme form of selfhandicapping Some -scientists believe that its evolved purpose is to selfsabotage normal vision It also simulates -respiratory distress Sobbing thus signals acquiescence to a potential assailant It convinces the -aggressor that we are no longer a threat There are many similar displays among animals all of -which are ways of saying Look Im going to all this extra trouble just to prove to you that Im -not an enemy -Chimpanzees have obvious ways to signal that they have been defeated walking in an -apathetic way covering their face hitting themselves and lying prostrate Primates depend on -these submissive displays because they constantly compete with members of their closeknit -group for mating opportunities and food Generally hierarchies among males govern access to -fertile females whereas female hierarchies govern access to food resources as these are a -limiting factor for pregnancy and lactation As modern humans we usually dont fight physically -over sex or meals so why are our inclinations for submission so strong -The answer is that humans dont just selfhandicap to display deference Unfortunately for -us we also do it to be likable In humans signaling a handicap can communicate modesty -conveying that one is not shameless or brazen We demonstrate anxiety to build rapport with -others smooth over issues and prove our friendliness We do our best to act ingratiating -taking on bodily tension to do so It is part of peoplepleasing and the need to be accepted but -it is incredibly draining This book will introduce a philosophy for dealing with these pressures -describing how to be a calm confident likable person without recourse to submissive signaling -We use submissive displays around those we see as our superiors our equals and even our -inferiors Even very dominant people use subordination displays to be endearing and get -people to open up and trust them Therefore it is not always clear whether submissive -signaling is better characterized as weakness or as a form of social intelligence It depends on -the circumstances primarily on the specific display in question and how long it is used Before -we discuss this lets look at comparable displays in other animals -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Submissive and Dominant Displays in Animals -Dominant and submissive displays occur in almost all animal species from insects to fish to the -great apes Threatening intimidation displays are meant to impress making the animal bigger -or emphasizing its physical dominance They involve bristling hair ruffling feathers raising skin -folds baring teeth displaying horns emitting loud sounds making quick and powerful -movements and adopting exaggerated postures -When a western silverback gorilla wants to intimidate a rival he will start throwing objects -pounding his chest kicking his legs and running sideways when approached The fur of -dominant chimps stands on end to make them appear larger and they walk with exaggerated -weight They gallop run in circles hit things perform somersaults and produce a wide range of -loud barking and hooting vocalizations -Dominant lizards perform pushups bobbing their heads up and down displaying their -muscles and athletic prowess for others to see This display shows off the bright coloring on -their throats and sides and indicates that they are in prime physical condition Many male -lizards raise themselves on their legs and arch their backs to signify territorial dominance And -remember lizards are not utterly distinct from people Three hundred million years ago before -mammals our ancestors were reptiles crawling the earth We have inherited many of our most -primal instincts and social signalsas well as the structure of the oldest and most reflexive -parts of our brainsfrom these miniature dragons This inheritance is the reason that the -dominance displays of modern reptiles seem so familiar -illustration A Common lizard B Tyrannosaurus rex C Iguana -Submissive displays on the other hand usually make the animal look smaller and -weaker They involve bowing cowering stooping shaking and exerting efforts to minimize the -appearance of physical assets Some animals have bizarre ritualistic signals as with some lizard -species that display submission by raising a front leg and waving it in a slow circular motion -Like a loyal subject genuflecting in the presence of royalty chimpanzees with poor fighting -records cower immediately during a confrontation They shrink down and whimper They may -vomit their legs shake and their posture collapses -For the most part these displays are hardwired For example young male rhesus monkeys -that have never been exposed to adult males will give subordination displays instinctively when -they first encounter them They involuntarily bow the head and adopt a bentover posture We -dont realize it or think about it but our subordination displays are similarly instinctive -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -Submissive Displays in Apes Dominant Displays in Apes -Withdrawal flight crouching screaming -gaze aversion ceasing activity freezing -grimacing or grinning peeking trembling -pulling the limbs close to the body moving -out of the way of dominant members and -startling in response to their actions -Openmouthed threat nostril flare direct -stare thumping the ground lunging tense -mouth strutting mounting chasing -yawning genital display chestbeating -sprawling gnashing teeth barkingroaring -destroying vegetation breaking up fights -dragging branches drumming on trees -Table Common Hierarchical Displays Used by Chimps -Bonobos Gorillas Orangutans and Gibbons -Too often being fair fun and friendly toward others involves suboptimal displays This is -because the neural circuits responsible for submissive behavior were repurposed by natural -selection to help us get along Just as adult pair bonding in mammals evolved from the same -brain machinery that was initially responsible for creating the motherinfant bond so many of -our affiliative instincts evolved from submissive displays -Involuntary Submissive Displays are the Source of Our Stress -Ordinarily we dont use optimal postures because we are afraid they will be threatening to -others This is why for instance we rarely stand completely straight or lift our hands above our -heads This is unfortunate because when authentic and combined with positive affect -dominant displays can be calming and reassuring to people around us Any good leader uses -them to this effect But because most of us never learn to use dominant displays in positive -ways we grow up associating them with bad experiences For instance classmates might have -seen us walking with our heads up taken offense and tried to intimidate us into adopting a -compliant headdown posture Experiences like these are the reason that performing optimal -displays makes you breathe shallowly and become tense -The table below lists submissive suboptimal displays and their dominant optimal -counterparts These are just a handful of those considered in this book but they are a good -start While reading the table below make a mental determination of which displays you use -most and to what extent Think about how you employ these displays in different scenarios -such as when you are by yourself at home when you are with friends and when you are -in public -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Submissive Display Dominant Display -Breathing short quick shallow uneven -and through the mouth -Breathing long slow deep smooth and -through the nose -Muscles tense and strained -Muscles calm and relaxed -Eyes looking down -Eyes looking up -Darting gaze -Eyes capable of holding a prolonged gaze -Minimized eye contact -Steady eye contact -Eyes blinking -Eyes unblinking -Eyes squinting -Eyes wide open -Raised eyebrows -Relaxed eyebrows -Face tense and wincing -Face completely relaxed -Jaw and chin tense -Jaw and chin completely relaxed -Trembling movement -Smooth steady movement -Flinching and startling -Zero flinch or startle -Tense sneering blushing and crying facial -muscles -Relaxed sneering blushing and crying facial -muscles -Neck hunched -Neck straight -Head facing down -Head horizontal or up -Gluteus limp hips tilted forward genitals -retracted -Gluteus flexed hips neutral genitals thrust -forward -Middle back curved and tight -Middle back straight and relaxed -Shoulders raised -Shoulders down -Abdominals either flaccid or tense -Abdominals appropriately toned -Voice high soft and speaking quickly -Voice deep loud and commanding -Mumbling stuttering stammering -Articulating clearly and with conviction -Stilted halting body language -Free open body language -Body taking up as little space as possible -Body taking up as much space as possible -Table Submissive Displays vs Dominant Displays in Humans -We often refrain from using the dominant displays in Table above because they might -make people feel uncomfortable The more we suppress them the more our ability to use -dominant nonverbals withers away due to disuse This book will provide a thorough description -of healthy safe wellfunctioning use of dominant nonverbal behavior -How we carry ourselves has been molded by other peoples reactions to our posture -Hundreds of elements of our body language have individual learning histories and have been -either positively or negatively reinforced until they reached their current settings This -reinforcement is sometimes outright as when our parents tell us not to stare but is often -subtle as when peers ignore us until we take the bass out of our voice The people who -influence you to send them submissive signals may not be doing so because they dislike you It -may just be because they take it as flattery and dont want you to stop flattering them -Regardless you did not choose your current postural settings they were inadvertently chosen -throughout the trial and error of your social learning Most of them were selected during -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -childhood and adolescence when you were surrounded by immature people and relatively -immature yourself -As you step out of your room get out of your car or walk into the grocery store you are -constantly trying to determine how you should hold your body You are gauging how much -impunity you can walk around with You unconsciously scan each area to see whether there is -anyone you will have to cower before This behavior traces back to experiences you had in -kindergarten Even in adulthood we relate to people as if they are about to physically attack us -We overcompensate by being chummy and compliant totally out of proportion with any -existing social threat This keeps us from being our authentic selves Prepare to leave all that in -the past and hold your body like there is nothing and no one to be afraid of -Use activities and below to get a sense of where you sit on this continuum between -the two extremes of submission and dominance in your neighborhood -Introductory Activity An Optimal Walk Around the Block -Take a walk around your block While doing so observe your use of submissive displays -Remember that the dacile you is not the real you It is a fake character you have come to play -to get along with people As you read through this book you are going to dismantle this role -and you can start now -Think about the behaviors in Table above and try to determine how submissive your -posture and body language are As you walk experiment with using dominant displays How -many of them can you use at the same time before you start to feel selfconscious -Introductory Activity An Invisible Walk Around the Block -Take another walk around the block but this time either put on a coat hat and sunglasses or -simply pretend that you are invisible Think No one can judge me because no one can see -me If you were truly invisible how would you comport yourself How would your body -language change During this exercise many people notice themselves using fewer -suboptimal displays What did you notice -In the past thought that interpreting social interactions in terms of status wasnt -productive or informative because the concepts of dominance and submission were pass This -proclamation of indifference toward the social hierarchy made me feel insightful and unique It -took time to realize that this stance was a play for status in itself -Most people publicly pretend that the status hierarchy doesnt exist and that there is -nothing submissive about them However many experts see dominance and submission as the -fundamental concepts in social science the same way mass and energy are the fundamental -concepts in physics They are also key concepts of most relationships including working -relationships in which individuals rely on one another to achieve their goals As such it is -crucial to identify and efficiently navigate dominance games This book is not trying to influence -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -you to think about status more than you already do It is meant to get you to think about it -and be negatively affected by it less -A Description of My Submissiveness -At this point it is helpful to use my history as an example From my teens through my twenties -hung out with a rough crowd A number of my friends were convicted criminals and former -gang members Several were brawny athletes while others were drug addicts enjoyed their -companionship but was unaware of the extent to which felt compelled to send them -subordination signals didnt realize it at the time but around them acted modestly at best -and timid at worst -Incarcerated people adopt exaggeratedly meek displays and carry these with them after -being released from jail Burly athletes commonly demand tribute from others in the form of -deferential body language Drug addicts exhibit some of the worst composure and breathing -habits of anyone Having these people as companions caused me to unknowingly amplify my -existing submissive signaling to prove that was an ally not a competitor often felt courteous -and gracious while sending these displays but even minuscule nonoptimal displays become -entrenched over the long term Moreover the more often you are submissive the more others -expect that behavior and the more likely they are to be offended when you try to switch to -more assertive behavior -Ilustration A Snarling dog B Subordinate wolf licking the dominant wolf -You may have experienced trying to become more confident and assertive only to face -social rejection Heres how it happened to me In my twenties tried to be more assertive at -work Away from my friends attempted to reduce my subordination signaling doing my best -to be calm and confident on the job But my coworkers could tell from my breathing and facial -tension that was accustomed to using inferior mannerisms They saw that was attempting to -withhold submissive signals from them This made them angry caused them to dislike me and -led to social rejection -Submissive habits social reinforcement and accumulating tension continue to snowball -once they start rolling By my late twenties couldnt even pretend to be calm around anyone -knew Each new acquaintance immediately assumed from the way presented myself -that was their underling constantly felt that people were condescending and dismissive -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -couldnt see it but it was my own fault People couldnt respect me because acted like -didnt respect myself The condescension started to make me into a bitter resentful person -Crucially the social dynamics at play are not about what you say but how you say it Its the -nonverbal behaviors that matter If you saw a written transcript of my speech as a stressedout -yearold you might think seemed chivalrous But if you saw a video you would -immediately perceive me as fainthearted and jittery At the time thought that people -mistakenly perceived my kindness as weakness Rather they perceived my shortness of breath -my cowering posture and cringing expressions as weakness -Submissiveness is not just a social phenomenon Once submissive actions become -ingrained quirks the stress and heartache they promote will negatively affect your mental and -physical health In my case the symptoms were extreme In addition to anxiety and depression -showed other psychiatric symptoms of stress such as a disrupted attention span a working -memory deficit and panic attacks developed medical complications related to stress -including diagnoses such as esophageal achalasia dyshidrotic eczema male pattern balding -low testosterone and outbreaks of cherry hemangiomas had back pain frozen shoulder -tennis elbow coccydynia excessive cervical and lumbar lordosis forward head posture hip -bursitis unequal leg length plantar fasciitis OsgoodSchlatter disease temporomandibular -joint dysfunction and numerous other structural misalignments and asymmetries Medical -professionals recognize each of these as linked to chronic stress -Since developed the exercises in this book all those conditions disorders and symptoms -have disappeared and none have returned Having had this experience and familiarizing myself -with the vast body of scientific literature that relates stress to disease have concluded that -submissive displays and the associated bodily tension are among the most pressing public -health problems worldwide However it is not only preventable it is also entirely reversible -Even if all environmental sources of stress disappeared from your life it would still be -challenging to eliminate the lasting trauma already present in your body Once your breathing -has become hurried and your muscles have developed knots it is very difficult to reverse this -without employing the techniques in this book Healing yourself with the Program Peace -exercises can feel uncomfortable To be free of trauma you must work with and through its -physical manifestations Selfmassaging achy muscles overriding your shallow breathing style -flexing your way into better posture and performing the various exercises within this book -require resolve and determination The good news Even a little at a time adds up fast -Chronic Use of Submissive Displays Leads to Deep Trauma -We often maintain a specific submissive display for long stretches of time Many displays never -abate For example some people spend their lives speaking in a voice that is much higher in -pitch than is comfortable for them Everyone overuses displays like this allowing them to -become fundamental components of their personality These are rarely considered because we -are usually utterly unconscious of them and lose perspective on how destructive they can be -Society has done little to recognize them so there is scant relevant scientific research -Nevertheless they constitute bad form that when used habitually comes at a steep price -As we will discuss in Chapter any muscle that is significantly contracted for more than a -few minutes and thus deprived of rest will begin to take on damage Most submissive displays -such as squinting or stooping the neck last for several minutes or even hours Even when it is -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -unnoticeable strain accumulates At first you might only slightly raise your shoulders and your -eyebrows Over time however knots develop in those muscles keeping them permanently -raised The knots starve the muscle of blood and force it to atrophy This eventually makes the -muscle achy weak and dormant leaving it perpetually fatigued and creating a source of -chronic pain will build on this concept of strain accumulation in almost every chapter of this -book as we work through techniques for undoing its effects on different body parts -believe that developed each of the medical symptoms listed in the last section as either -a direct or indirect consequence of submissive muscular strain that went on too long Muscles -that are strained repetitively send continuous pain messages to the brains emotional centers -Sounds bad right Consider that the predominant form of social breathing in humansshallow -breathing in which the diaphragm is not utilizedincreases muscle tension throughout the -body This dramatically compounds the strain and spreads it to the entire musculoskeletal -system Below Table shows how prolonged use of the submissive displays listed in Figure -strains muscles leading to unhealthy consequences -Submissive Display Unhealthy Consequences of Strain -Breathing short quick and Chronic nervousness respiratory distress wholebody -shallow tension -Eyes looking down Atrophy of the muscles that help you look up -Minimized eye contact Eye contact triggers startle -Eyes squinting Eyes tired with bags and dark circles -Raised eyebrows Brow strained and wrinkled -High voice Voice permanently high and hoarse -Face tense and wincing Facial muscle strain and atrophy increased inflammation -and facial fat -Sneering muscles tense Permanent sneer burned into the face -Jaw and chin tense Jaw and chin knotted and painful -Head facing down Difficulty facing up -Neck hunched Neck humped and deformed -Gluteus limp hips tilted Weak core stiff lower back and hips -forward -Shoulders raised Shoulders permanently raised -Abdominals either lax or Propensity for abdominal fat poor core stability -tense -Pelvic and Genital Tension Reduced libido and sexual dysfunction -Spinal Tension Collapsed posture aches and pain -High Heart Rate Cardiovascular problems -Digestive Tension Gut pain and digestive problems -Table Submissive Displays and the Unhealthy Consequences -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -As the exercises in later chapters will discuss the way to reinvigorate these bodily systems -is to use them to their full extent By completely contracting the muscles involved you can pull -them out of their partially contracted state and thus out of chronic fatigue and chronic pain -The problem is that contracting these muscles when breathing shallowly risks pushing them -into a cramp or spasm However contracting them while breathing deeply will restore their -normal range of motion reinstate their proper blood supply and remove all manifestations of -tension strain and trauma -The Program Peace Method Replace Submissive Behaviors with Assertive Ones -Now that you know what submissive displays are and how they can be so damaging lets talk -about fixing them The goal is clear To improve your health you need to replace your default -submissive habits with their assertive relaxed alternatives Well start with a simple example -Consider sneering The sneer is made possible by muscles that run along the sides of the -nose and lift the upper lip when contracted Mammals sneer so that they do not bite into their -lips during an attackbite Most mammals also sneer when threatened or uncomfortable This is -because displaying the canines is the equivalent of flashing a dagger or putting a hand on a gun -Dominant primates rarely sneer while subordinates do it constantly The most socially -damaged monkeys have tense stiff sneering muscles that they cannot relax Because they are -always sneering they always feel threatened It is the same in humans The tension in these -muscles crushes our facial composure making it difficult to appear calm and collected Once -realized that my sneering muscles had painful knots in them developed exercises alternating -between completely contracting and completely relaxing them pairing both with -diaphragmatic breathing also created a massage routine to release the cramps Completely -loosening the knots in my sneering muscles took me a couple of minutes a day for a few -months but it was well worth it The oncepainful knucklesized knots are gone completely -look much calmer now and feel less defensive After completing the exercises in Chapter you -will too The next activity may capture your interest in this phenomenon -Activity Fully Contract Your Sneering Muscles -Open your mouth as wide as you can Next reveal all your teeth as much as possible With -your top and bottom teeth fully exposed you should feel like a predator about to bite into -something Allow the sneer to fully contract muscles in your lips cheeks and nostrils -Even your nose should be fully crinkled Try to hold this sneer for an entire minute This -will push many of the muscles involved into a full fatigue After this extended full range -contraction all these muscles should be able to rest more than they have in years -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Ilustration Four animals baring their teeth -Most people would feel very uncomfortable performing the exercise above in public -Interestingly enough most people also feel extremely unguarded when they let their sneering -muscles go lax This is why these muscles are stuck in sustained partial contraction You can -pull these muscles out of partial contraction by pairing both sneering and its absence with -diaphragmatic breathing which will afford your face a whole new level of composure Each -chapter in this book will guide you to combine a different set of displays and the accompanying -contractions with proper breathing in a thorough systematic approach The next section -explains how this approach works and why it relies on pairing both submissive and dominant -displays with diaphragmatic breathing -The Methodology Combining Optimal Behaviors with Diaphragmatic Breathing -As shown in the figure below breathing slowly and deeply with the diaphragm reduces your -heart rate and stress response -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -Diaphragmatic Breathing Decreases Stress -Breathing -Volume -l -Time Time -Heart Rate -I I -Time Time -Stress -Response -it -Time Time -Figure Before time this person is breathing short shallow breaths with a high heart rate and a high stress -response At time this person takes two slow deep breaths You see a corresponding decrease in their heart rate -and stress response At time they resume shallow breathing causing their heart rate and stress levels to go -back up -Learning how to breathe deeply is not enough however We need to build it into the basic -ways we carry ourselves move through the world and interact with others The key to -adopting dominant behaviors is to train your body to feel comfortable engaging in them You -can do this by practicing diaphragmatic breathing while using confident postures and displays -This will enable you to replace your longstanding associations between assertive behavior and -the stress response -As another example consider the involuntary placement of your eyes in social situations -Looking upward above the eye line is a clear dominance display This is why most people feel -uncomfortable looking up in public If you spend seconds on a crowded street looking -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -upward you will likely become very selfconscious Your breathing will become shallow and -rapid your heartbeat will speed up and your stress level will increase Here is what that -looks like -Optimal Body Language Increases Stress -Breathing -Volume -I -Time Time -Heart Rate -iT iT -Time Time -Stress -Response -Time Time -Figure These graphs show relaxed breathing that is slow and deep until the person uses an optimal display -starting at time Using the display causes their breathing to become more shallow than usual and you see a -corresponding increase in their heart rate and stress response This lasts until time when they cease performing -the display -The unconscious fear of behaving dominantly keeps our body language withdrawn and -demure But there is a simple solution If you spend a few minutes per day practicing slow long -deep breaths from your diaphragm while looking up then an upward gaze will stop recruiting -the panicked breathing response It will instead begin to feel natural and even occur -involuntarily You should start by practicing alone then in public and transition toward using it -socially Practicing for just a few minutes a day can train you to stop looking down in a few -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -weeks This technique can be used to make all forms of optimal body language feel comfortable -and arise spontaneously -After Exposure to Diaphragmatic Breathing Optimal -Body Language No Longer Increases Stress -Breathing -Volume -I -Time Time -Heart Rate -pula pa on pO -Time Time -Stress -Response -ptt ype ed ta ag -Time Time -Figure These graphs depict data from a person who has used the Program Peace method of exposing a -dominant display to diaphragmatic breathing Despite using dominant body language from time to time -their breathing remains slow and deep and there is no discernable change in their heart rate or stress response -Because they have calmed their bodys unconscious reaction to the display it no longer provokes fear guilt -or stress -The exercises in this book will first ask you to pair assertive behavioral subroutines that -you would ordinarily find unnerving with paced breathing After isolating and treating them -individually you will be asked to combine several of them together so that you can become -comfortable using many assertive nonverbal behaviors at once For instance we will learn to -breathe deeply with a calm face upward eyes straight neck and relaxed vocal posture You will -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -also work on dissociating optimal postures from the submissive ones that often accompany -them For example we will isolate widening your eyes from raising your eyebrows and isolate -smiling from squinting and sneering -Your brains current records of how to hold your body correspond with remarkably high -precision to where you think you fit in the hierarchy of your social group Most people who -want to be more assertive try to manipulate the environment by competing conniving or using -power plays to change other peoples perceptions of them in hopes that they will be allowed to -gradually assume a more dominant role Unfortunately this is a stressful process that tends to -compound their problems Instead Program Peace will show you how to transform yourself -from the inside out -The Program Peace method relies on established principles from the science of -neuroplasticity Neuroplasticity is the brains ability to restructure neuronal connections in -response to new experiences and demands This process underlies all learning training and -rehabilitation It is always available so you can start at any age and practice whenever you -want Another great aspect of neuroplasticity is that it makes things automatic With time -neuroplastic changes consolidate and stabilize making what you have learned second nature -The exercises in this book leverage neuroplasticity to optimize your composure by exposing -your brain circuits for acting like a boss to the brain circuits for feeling safe Coactivating the -neurons in these circuits will allow you to override your autopilot and make the habits of an -alpha your default -Ilustration A A neuron B Cross section of the brain C Coactive brain regions -Even behaviors that express positive emotions have been routinely coactivated with -distressed breathing over your lifetime Smiling is the quickest way to recruit shallow breathing -in most people We will use long deep breathing in Chapter to detraumatize your smile and -in Chapter to detraumatize your laugh This book will provide you with a diaphragmatic -makeover restructuring dozens of behaviors and postures dissociating them from the fightor -flight response and decoupling them from distressed breathing By now you may be curious to -find out what diaphragmatic breathing feels like so lets get acquainted with it using the -activity below -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -Activity A Diaphragmatic Breath -In part one of this activity you will exhale and in part two you will inhale For each part -focus on taking exceptionally long and deep breaths to fully engage the diaphragm Try to -make each last eight to seconds -Diaphragmatic exhalation Inhale completely before starting your exhalation -Purse your lips and blow on your fingertip for as long as you comfortably can -While you slowly breathe out pay attention to the sound of your breath and the -sensation produced by the air hitting your fingertip ensuring that both are steady -and constant Deep long breaths with a constant flow rate are the keys to -activating the diaphragm Blow out until you have no more air left You should -notice that during the last few seconds it is challenging to keep the stream -steady This is the aspect of the muscle most in need of retraining -Diaphragmatic inhalation Do the same for an inhalation Take a couple of normal -breaths and then exhale completely before starting Purse your lips and place -your finger on them This will make your breath audible Then inhale until you -cannot inhale anymore Breathe in slowly and steadily ensuring that the sound -you make is constant and unflinching -If you were able to make these breaths last longer than eight seconds and make your -breath smoother than usual then you experienced what engaging your diaphragm feels -like After you perform both activities a couple of times each consider what it would take -to make every breath a diaphragmatic breath -Next is the first Program Peace exercise which pairs a long diaphragmatic exhalation with -vocalization to strengthen both your voice and diaphragm Being able to talk for an extended -period before needing to inhale is a very dominant trait To do it you need a strong diaphragm -that can push all the way through its full range of motion squeezing most of the air out of the -lungs On the other hand it is very common that submissive people with tense diaphragms -have to gasp after every few words they speak Partially because they are used to being -interrupted their diaphragm is not capable of unwavering prolonged contractions Once you -extend the amount of time you can speak on a single breath even by a couple of seconds you -will feel and appear much more confident -Introductory Exercise Prolonged Vocalization -You are going to vocalize for as long as you can times in a row Before each -vocalization take a full inhalation During each following exhalation vocalize in a deep -but relaxed register It can be loud or soft Choose a low note and a vowel sound such as -ah uh or om and maintain it as long as possible Continue vocalizing until you -cannot breathe out any longer You should be able to do this for at least five seconds -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -but shoot for eight or even up to if you can You might pull out the stopwatch on your -phone and time yourself Do this times in a row -This exercise is challenging for the diaphragm and the voice and can be somewhat -uncomfortable because you are forcing the diaphragm to work in an unfamiliar and -atrophied zone Normally your voice is confined to a shallow range in which the -diaphragm falters neurotically in response to emotional fluctuations threatening stimuli -and interruptions Keeping your voice steady will teach your diaphragm to contract -more steadily -If you perform this exercise five times over the course of a week it will cease to be -uncomfortable You will get used to it quickly and find that you can do it for several -minutes at a time Because it ensures diaphragmatic motion it should make you feel -very relaxed after just a few minutes The longer you do it the more relaxed you will feel -It is a great exercise to use if you are feeling anxious You can also do it around others -by humming quietly with your mouth closed Within a few weeks your voice will be -noticeably more impressive and commanding This is a skill that leaders and lecturers -develop the ability to use the diaphragm to put sustained continuous pressure on the -voice box using fluid uninterrupted contraction -Not only will the exercise above strengthen your diaphragm but it will also strengthen your -voice Lets consider a hypothetical example of how sustained diaphragmatic breathing can help -rehabilitate other parts of your body Take the neck for instance Imagine that you have been -forced to crank your neck into an uncomfortable position like looking up and to the extreme -left for five straight minutes Now imagine four scenarios -Inthe first scenario you breathe very shallowly as if you were frightened by something -terrible At the end of five minutes you would likely have developed a cramp that would -be painful for a few days -Inthe second scenario you breathe normally You might come out of this ordeal with -your neck feeling a little tight and uncomfortable and the feeling might disappear after -a few hours -Inthe third scenario you do your best to breathe slowly deeply and diaphragmatically -Breathing in this way you might avoid neck pain entirely at the end of the five minutes -Finally in the last scenario you breathe as you will be able to do after you spend -weeks completing the breathing retraining outlined in Chapter of this book In this -situation your neck would be much less likely to take on any longterm strain Rather -it would be strengthened and toned by the fiveminute effort -Diaphragmatic breathing protects us from the negative consequences of repetitive strain -while shallow breathing makes us vulnerable to it Shallow breathing at our desks destroys our -necks and lower backs Shallow breathing during exercise limits our potential gains and -recovery Shallow breathing while grinning destroys our smiles Shallow breathing while -socializing drives chronic anxiety The rest of this book will guide you to pair deep breathing -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -with a diverse assortment of different muscle activation patterns The exercises will engage -muscles in the spine gut throat face genitals and many other locations building strength -flexibility mobility and optimal tone -The process of working through suboptimal postural habits to gradually retrain your body is -emotionally cathartic and will give you an opportunity to reinvent yourself The reprogramming -youre taking on will act like a cheat code allowing you to hack into the programming of -your nervous system and reset it to a lower level of stress Each chapter resets a different -bodily system Rather than listing them here the specific topics that will be discussed can be -found in the chapter titles in the Table of Contents The figure below illustrates the problems at -hand and how they are addressed by Program Peace -Cranial Facial -Physical Threat Amygdala Spinal Vocal -Submissive F Pain -Cardiac Genital -Pain Distressed Breathing KX Digestive -Aggressive Anxiet -Ego Respiratory y -Social Threat Nonverbals Skeletal -Relaxed Paced Optimal Debracing Nonresistant -Assertive Diaphragmatic Postures Massage Nonfearful -P P Personality Breathing Body Language AntiLaxity Mindset -Kele lanl nEISS Restructuring Retraining Training AntiRigidity -Therapeutic -Rehabilitative -Interventions -Figure Threats are interpreted by the brain and go on to affect breathing behavior and muscle tension -The Program Peace exercises address these issues individually -How This Book Is Organized -This book features over activities and exercises grouped by chapter After the description of -each exercise in the book youll find the recommended length of time that exercise should be -performed eg five minutes Also listed is the number of sessions you should expect to take -to reach proficiency eg four sessions per week for weeks Proficiency means you should -expect to have made a considerable gain and created a selfperpetuating habit that will provide -continued improvement with time This is followed by the recommended number of sessions to -maintain the ability after proficiency is reached eg two times per month Note that these -details are only given for the exercises and not the activities Activities are exploratory and -intended to be completed only once -Example Exercise Description Here -The directions for performing the activity or exercise are in this box including setup -steps to take and the general parameters of the exercise -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Some exercises have a risk of injury warning which means that it is quite possible to hurt -yourself while doing the exercise as described Take great care with these and ensure that you -read the warning and disclaimer section in the books Preface Some exercises are given five -stars which means that highly recommend them and that they are especially valuable as part -of your retraining Nearly every exercise is intended to be performed with paced diaphragmatic -breathing synchronized with a breathing metronome as explained in Chapter Alternatively -you can synchronize each exercise with the breathing pattern from Exercise -My clients and generally find that keeping a record of completed sessions is helpful and -motivating There are two worksheets at the end of this chapter to keep track of your initial -progress Each contains key exercises and make it possible to log the number of times you -have completed them These are what consider the books most beneficial fivestar -exercises You can complete a threemonth crash course in Program Peace by performing -exercises two days per week over the course of weeks Each week you can alternate -between worksheets and Completing all exercises in a worksheet takes less than an -hour and there is no pressure to complete these on consecutive days or weeks -This book also has a companion workbook called Program Peace Exercise Manual and -Journal which comes complete with daily entries and a calendar in which you can record the -exercises you have completed as part of a week regimen It is not necessary but it is helpful -and can be downloaded for free from the website or purchased online as a hard copy -Using Program Peace by Yourself and with Others -Strangers arent the only ones who want us to use submissive displays The people closest to us -positively reinforce our endearing behavior rewarding us for acting in nonthreatening ways -They also punish assertive behavior chastening us for acting selfassured However we cannot -be mad at people for doing this to us because whether aware of it or not we do the same to -others It is an unconscious human instinct We are constantly using body language to check -and balance each other and in doing so we are mutually denigrated Tearing each other down -instead of building each other up is a waste of time and energy that ultimately programs our -brains for sadness and our bodies for disease -If you immediately start practicing the activities in this book in social situations they will be -feeble People will recognize this and may attempt to punish you for being what they may -interpret as rude When first started practicing some acquaintances were confused by the -new way carried myself because my assertiveness was not fully fledged For this reason -it helps to begin developing these postures alone Start in your room while driving or as you -take a walk Build up to active social engagement slowly Once it is evident that your dominant -behaviors have become ingrained people will not question them By practicing alone you can -build yourself a stolid countenance that is so convincing that it is beyond reproach -Alternatively most of the exercises here can be performed with a close friend or ina -group and encourage you to do so after first practicing them on your own Fostering a low -stakes environment will make it dramatically easier to bring your new postures into the wider -world To this end recommend that you start by discussing the ideas in this book with close -friends and family You can create an understanding with your loved ones that your relationship -is better off without submissive signaling Instead of making each other weaker you can train -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -each other to feel comfortable and at ease in strength Ask your roommate or spouse to walk -around your home like they own the place Tell them to expect you to do the same -If you dont have this discussion with the people close to you they may become -disheartened not understanding why you seem different However if you explain the practice -to them you can transform them whether they perform the programs specific exercises or not -When they see you relaxed standing straight and speaking in a powerful voice they will find -themselves mirroring you without even thinking about it -Program Peace will give you the knowledge and exercises you need to progress to a point -where you have the strength of personality to dominate everyone in your life But you dont -want to dominate people Domination is an aggressive attempt to get someone to submit It is -abusive and will repel even your close friends and family You simply want to be dominant -Being dominant doesnt stop others from also being dominant Its not a competition -Domination is onesided and aggressive but dominance is not So that we are clear on the -difference for the final section of this chapter lets more clearly define aggression -Dominant Nonverbals Make Aggression Unnecessary -A very early version of this book that started working on in my late teens set out to describe -the many costs of aggression saw aggression as a pitiful coping tactic that is often rewarded in -the short term but ultimately results in negativity saw it as a vestigial instinct and a heuristic -that people employ inflexibly and far too frequently felt that by living my life without -aggression reaped many benefits wanted to share with others how to use diplomacy and a -nice guy approach to navigate difficult social situations -However to avoid appearing aggressive accentuated my subordination displays and -debilitated myself through intense selfhandicapping spent so much energy placating people -and repressing my personality that became perpetually distressed In trying to let go of -aggressiveness had also unwittingly lost my assertiveness But this is only because was -confusing the two -Much of this book is about how to perceive the distinction between aggression and -assertion so you can act confidently knowing you are maintaining your ground without -threatening others What do assertion and aggression mean to you In the animal behavior -literature the word assertion is constructive while aggression is destructive An animal -chasing down its prey is acting assertively because it needs to eat An animal hurting another -without benefit to itself is being aggressive In mammals the brain pathways controlling -aggression like fighting members of your species are entirely distinct from the brain pathways -for searching out and obtaining prey -For example a cat pursuing a rat does not hiss or arch its back The active brain areas -reflect hunger rather than anger If you were to wipe out the aggression and anger systems of -a carnivores brain it could still be a stonecold predator On the other hand when a cat is -aggressive toward another cat it is almost always impelled by fear Aggression is a destructive -use of force that is rooted in trauma and insecurity If more people knew this basic neurological -truth they likely wouldnt praise aggressiveness or confuse aggression with assertion -At its core this book is about being assertive without being aggressive That means being -selfpossessed but also kind at the same time It is difficult have spent my life trying to be -both but have only come close in the last few years Many people see being assertive and -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -being nice as two distinct modes that are incompatible or mutually exclusive Religious -leaders tell us to be nice at the expense of being assertive Dating coaches and business gurus -tell us to be assertive at the expense of being nice Like most stressed primates we mistakenly -believe that we are forced to choose between these two options -Because our psychological schemas for assertiveness are often conflated with those for -aggression many people find it impossible to be one without the other This means that as -soon as they start acting nonsubmissive they inadvertently also start being intrusive pushy -and unkind They cant help it they have never learned to make this fundamental distinction -Once you can discern between assertion and aggression you can be powerful without malice -You can simultaneously be confident and friendly poised and thoughtful dominant and pure of -heart The key is exhibiting incorrigibly courageous body language while still having your -intentions in the right place Ultimately you want to make your nonverbals ruthless -uncompromising and unapologetic but you want to temper this by making your words -humble considerate and affectionate -Mammals that dont feel threatened dont get angry They also dont threaten others -As we will discuss in the next chapter aggression usually follows desperation It is a form of -compensation for the inability to be calm while being assertive In fact in primate literature -aggression is often characterized as submissive threat This indicates that threats come from -monkeys that feel vulnerable or are trying too hard not to be submissive Think of the times -when you have been really aggressive in the past You felt threatened and were breathing in a -shallow distressed manner Correct It is the straight jacket of stress muscle tension pain -and breathlessness that causes us to lash out In preparing us for confrontation it makes us -confrontational -Learning to breathe slowly deeply and on long intervals will help you develop emotional -maturity Doing it in social situations will make you hardened to threats immune to being -dominated exempt from defensive sentimentality and unsusceptible to feeling offended Once -you use Program Peace to train yourself to breathe easily and stop sending submissive displays -you will no longer have to choose between being assertive and doing the right thing This is -because the combination of the two will come with ease -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -Chapter Bullet Points -e Submission and aggression are highly detrimental and we want to replace them with -assertiveness and playfulness -e Allmammals use submissive displays to show subordination to more dominant animals -They do this to reduce social conflict over food sex and other resources -e Humans use submissive displays too often just to be friendly -e We commonly use suboptimal body language because we are afraid that otherwise -we might come across as too aggressive -e It is difficult to stop using submissive displays because they become habitual and the -people around us come to expect them -e Your composure posture and breathing style are all products of your social -environment -e Ongoing submissive displays lead to muscle tension that is apparent to others -The chronic muscular strain caused by the display becomes a badge of selfperceived -low status -e As you perform the Program Peace exercises think you will be surprised by how much -and how often you use suboptimal body language due to modesty -e We all suffer from this to different degrees and it causes suboptimal functioning of -various muscles and organs It also causes chronic pain which contributes to depression -and anxiety -e Our attempts to stop acting submissive and make our behavior more dominant are fear -inducing and cause us to breathe shallowly -e Shallow distressed breathing is a submissive display -e Ask yourself how the following things affect your breathing being isolated being -shunned being attacked being put down verbally being put down nonverbally -being judged -e Using diaphragmatic breathing while practicing dominant displays and postures can -make them very comfortable and make nonverbal assertiveness a new default -e Replacing submissive behaviors with assertive ones will improve how you feel the way -others perceive you and how you get along with them -e Dominant animals are the most assertive and submissive animals are the most -aggressive This should inspire us to be assertive without being aggressive It requires -that we learn to retain our composure and learn not to allow provocation or threat to -affect the face voice spine or breath -e This chapter is the first step in helping you reconceptualize yourself as dominant -pure of heart slow to anger and not easily offended -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Program Peace Fxercise Tracker Week -Date Start Time Finish Time -Exercise Name Set Set Set Set -Prolonged Vocalization mins -Deep Breaths mins -Practicing a Smooth mins -Inhalation -Smoothing Over mins -Discontinuities -Wide Eyes with No Facade mins -Relaxed Frowning mins -Glaring -Looking Up While Talking mins -Watching TV Upside Down mins -Conserving the Calm mins -Freeing Up the Face mins -Soft Facial Percussion mins -A Sneerless Smile mins -The Slowest Smallest min -Breath -Panthooting min -Meditation Paced Sleep Total Exercise Flights Standing Stretching Self -mins Breathing hours Steps mins Climbed hrs mins Massage -mins mins -Thoughts and Feelings -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -Program Peace Exercise Tracker Week -Date Start Time Finish Time -Exercise Name Set Set Set Set -Isometric Contraction of mins -the Diaphragm -Diaphragmatic mins -Vocalization -Reading Out Loud mins -Optimal Posture While mins -Standing -Search Your Body for mins -Rigidity -Antilaxity and Antirigidity mins -with Light Weights -Neck Retraction mins -Various Neck Anti mins -rigidity Postures -Take a Walk with mins -Exaggerated Posture -Diaphragmatic Fasting hrs -Compressing the Internal mins -Organs -Listen to Your Heartbeat mins -Diaphragmatic Laughing mins -Diaphragmatic Phone mins -Conversation -Meditation Paced Sleep Total Exercise Flights Standing Stretching Self -mins Breathing hours Steps mins Climbed hrs mins Massage -mins mins -Thoughts and Feelings -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Cafazzo S Lazzaroni M MarshallPescini S Dominance relationships in a -family pack of captive arctic wolves Canis lupus arctos The influence of competition for food -age and sex PeerJ e -van der Borg J A M Schilder M B H Vinke C M de Vries H Dominance in -domestic dogs A quantitative analysis of its behavioural measures PLoS ONE -King A J Johnson D D Van Vugt M The origins and evolution of leadership -Current Biology RR -Petersen R M Dubuc C Higham J P Facial displays of dominance in non -human primates In Senior C Ed The facial displays of leaders pp Palgrave -Macmillan -Knowles K The evolutionary psychology of leadership trait perception In C Senior -Ed The facial displays of leaders pp Palgrave Macmillan -Boswell J The table talk of Dr Johnson C Dilly -Crozier R The puzzle of blushing The Psychologist -Breed M D Moore J Animal behavior Elsevier -Churchland P S Braintrust Princeton University Press -Dunbar N E Burgoon J K Perceptions of power and interactional dominance -in interpersonal relationships Journal of Social and Personal Relationships -Werner R A guide to deep tissue neuromuscular therapy Jones and Bartlett -Gerwin R D Classification epidemiology and natural history of myofascial pain -syndrome Current Pain and Headache Reports -Fried R The psychology and physiology of breathing In behavioral medicine -clinical psychology and psychiatry Springer Science -Douyon P Neuroplasticity Your brains superpower zzard Ink Publishing -Panksepp J December The riddle of laughter neural and psychoevolutionary -underpinnings of joy Current Directions in Psychological Science -Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training -Gleitman H Fridlund A J Reisberg D Psychology th ed W W Norton -and Company -Lorenz K On aggression Methuen Publishing de Waal F The bonobo and -the atheist In search of humanism among the primates WW Norton Company -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -Being defeated is often a temporary condition Giving up is what makes it permanent Marilyn vos Savant -b -Our Bodies Compensate in Response to Suboptimal Environments -Although our bodies are capable of finding peace they were never designed to do so Rather -they developed to internalize environmental hardship to ensure the perpetuation of our genes -Harmful experiences cause organisms to promptly deviate from otherwise optimal body plans -restricting growth and mobility while reducing their quality of life The focus of this chapter is to -explain why we retain stress in the form of bodily trauma -From microorganisms to monkeys all life forms respond to stressors with innate biological -programs They are prepared to alter their bodies and life strategies if they encounter adverse -environments To be clear this is a form of nonmutational adaptation that takes place without -natural selection during an individuals lifetime We all have the potential to become highly -stressadapted and this could happen to you in a matter of weeks if you were exposed to -extreme hardship The DNA genotype does not change however the genes that are -expressed change and cause the body phenotype to change Your genes specify the blueprint -and the foundation but the environmental circumstances influence how soundly your structure -is built -The changes bodies make allow conformation to occasional but regularly recurring -environmental pressures faced by the species These are usually stressors Changes can be -either transient or permanent and are examples of a scientific concept called developmental -plasticity How you responded plastically to your environment results in a unique -developmental trajectory For instance if you were a sad child growing up you are more likely -to be a melancholy adult Certain developmental windows close early in life but we retain a -great deal of plasticity even in old age This means that your fundamental nature dominant -submissive calm anxious etc is in the process of being determined even as you read this -Developmental plasticity is any change in the body good or bad mediated by changes in -gene expression as a response to the environment When say gene expression am referring -to the process where the bodys cells determine that a particular protein is needed they find -the gene that encodes the protein from within the DNA in the cells nucleus and use it to build -the protein For example when you exercise consistently genes that encode the proteins -needed for muscle tissue become highly expressed resulting in muscle growth Thats a clear -case of developmental plasticity your body responds to exercise by building new muscle to -make the lifting easier -The same thing happens on a faster scale when your eyes adapt to darkness Cells in the -retina use the rhodopsin gene to build the rhodopsin protein necessary to see better in low -light The production of breast milk involves expressing milk proteins within the breast tissue -that are not expressed before pregnancy Tanning involves the production of the protein -pigment melanin The formation of longterm memories neuroplasticity involves physical -changes to brain cells that necessitate protein expression Each of the genes in the -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -human genome codes for a protein that performs a specific function within our bodies when -needed Some of these genes and their proteins contribute to anxiety -The Tradeoffs of Adapting to Adversity -Simple singlecell organisms respond to stress excessive heat starvation and abrupt chemical -changes in their environment by tweaking their body plan Molecular cues that they pick up -cause them to express genes that may otherwise remain dormant causing changes within their -cell walls to respond to the demands at hand Even in the simplest organisms like bacteria and -protists these emergency alterations have costs Resources are funneled toward responding to -the crisis rather than to longevity and upkeep Over time this negatively affects the health of -the microbe -Humans also make unhealthy changes in response to bad environments Constant muscle -strain incites protein expression that changes the muscle making it hard inflexible and limiting -its range of motion Shallow breathing becomes persistent because the body uses gene -expression to retune the breathing apparatus to become maximally efficient at shallow -breathing The heart is similarly retuned to beat rapidly Threatsensing areas of the brain are -reinforced after threatening experiences Stress stimulates the expression of a large variety of -different proteins in organs throughout the body and brain that would not otherwise be -expressed These proteins are used in defensive structures defensive maneuvers and the -creation of a defensive mind state The effects of developmental plasticity can be lifelong or -even multigenerational Recent findings have found that many of the negative effects can be -reversed but the longer you wait the harder it will be -These changes might be useful for instance if your environment is filled with predators -But they can produce drastic bodily changes especially if they are triggered early in -development This is easiest to see in nonhuman examples like certain species of horned -beetle The beetles body type can vary sharply based on food availability Visually the two -versions look very different Even many scientists at first assumed these two morphs were from -different species When they dont have enough food developing males become smaller and -weaker and never develop their characteristic horns Their metabolism is reduced and they -utilize sneaky reproductive tactics rather than the direct combat typical of their betterfed -peers This morph is adaptiveit has better reproductive successbut only in environments -where food is scarce and larger beetles cannot feed themselves Outside those environments -a hornless horned beetle has no real chance to compete -A similar thing happens to the water flea Daphnia If exposed to the smell of their natural -predators early in life they develop a large protective covering that helps them resist being -eaten However this armor also makes it harder to move and feed These examples of plasticity -involve fundamental tradeoffs The same kinds of responses occur in mammals although the -effects are usually less obvious Still sometimes you can visually recognize the ravages of stress -in people who are extremely anxious highly traumatized drugaddicted or on the bottom of -the social totem pole What these people share in common is that their stress system has been -turned up too high for too long For the beetle the environmental cue predictive of adversity is -malnutrition For the flea it is the smell of its natural predator Can you guess what ours is It is -distressed breathing Shallow thoracic breathing drives the threat system and a cascade of -harmful cellular modifications that change our physical body plan -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -Ze yo -va Qa VA -XY SS -v -illustration A Horned beetle and smaller hornless beetle B Water fleas with and without protective armoring -How Mammals Adapt to Chronic Stress -Decades of experiments have found that the offspring of nervous mothers are biologically -programmed to also be nervous Mothers exposed to adversity before during or after -pregnancy upregulate their babies stressresponse systems permanently Mammals from mice -to monkeys with stressedout moms exhibit increased adrenal activity which causes higher -concentrations of stress hormones Mammals with more active adrenal systems are more -susceptible to stress responding to mildly threatening events in exaggerated and -inappropriate ways -These responses often last for the animals entire lifetime They are a specific type of -developmental plasticity called predictive adaptive responses The idea is that if a mothers -environment is hostile then her offspring are likely to face that same environment and ought -to be prepared for it For the same reason rat pups born to calm mothers tend to be calm -themselves Those that received high levels of maternal care in the form of licking grooming -and nursing show increased resilience to stress even in adulthood All mammals begin to -adapt plastically to stress in the womb and continue to do so throughout life This is why it is so -important to take control of your reactions to stress you have the power to steer yourself away -from suffering -We were all born with the capacity for unmitigated strength consummate confidence and -unconditional dominance Despite this our bodys cells are constantly searching for cues about -predation and social competition Upon encountering these cues stress hormones are turned -up the respiratory and cardiovascular systems are strained muscles grow tense and the brain -is adjusted to make us angry fearful and paranoid Again these responses may result in -subtle microscopic changes or profound visible ones The Program Peace method aims to -reverse the negative changes and create lasting positive ones by providing your bodys cells -with the cues necessary to cause them to interpret their environment as advantageous -The Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous Systems -The autonomic nervous system controls the function of our internal organs It affects the heart -lungs various organs in our abdomen skin muscles and many areas of the brain It generally -influences our organs to either prepare for stress as in the fightorflight state or for calm as -in the restinganddigesting state The fightorflight state is associated with the sympathetic -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -branch of the autonomic nervous system while the restanddigest state is associated with -the parasympathetic branch These two systems are constantly working together to maintain -homeostasis to meet organismic needs Both are necessary for health and normal functioning -They work in unison but at any given time one is usually more active than the other -The activity of the sympathetic nervous system rises when we feel stressed and lowers -when we feel calm The sympathetic nervous system becomes toxic when it is augmented by -developmental plasticity This is when the body builds stressadapted proteins into various -organ systems This keeps a person locked in a perpetual state of stress that scientists call -hyperarousal -Specialists describe the retuning of the autonomic system toward stress as an imbalance -that equates to a shift toward sympathetic upregulation This is the antagonist of our story -and it is an adversary for each of us to different extents It is important to point out that the -sympathetic nervous system itself is not our enemy the problem comes only from longterm -persistent sympathetic overactivation This happens when fear and intimidation are regular -occurrences As you might expect inferior and submissive mammals have greater sympathetic -upregulation For example lowranking baboons have the highest blood pressure stress -hormones and heart rates -Moreover the upregulation of the sympathetic system is almost always a ratchet meaning -that shifts toward stress are generally steady and irreversible This is partly because many -experiences coerce us to breathe more shallowly but very few convince us that it is safe to -breathe more deeply The table below details the physiological changes associated with both -branches of the autonomic system -Sympathetic Parasympathetic -Nickname Fight or Flight Rest and Digest -Breath Volume Shallow Full -Breathing Rate Faster Slower -Muscles Tense Relaxed -Average Heart Rate Higher Lower -Blood Pressure Higher Lower -Stress Hormones High Low -Shortterm Memory Poor Good -Thinking Muddled Clear -Emotion Anxious Calm -Immune System Weakened Strong -Social Defensive or Receptive or -Communication aggressive assertive -Table The Autonomic Nervous System Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Branches -If were to walk over to my cat and bang my fist on the counter next to him his autonomic -nervous system would react strongly raising his sympathetic activity This would be very -apparent in the form of a fullbody startle and increased defensive activity After a few minutes -his autonomic activity would go back to baseline but repeated threatening surprises would -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -shift his baseline toward sympathetic upregulation If someone were to make a loud -unexpected noise next to me would also experience transiently increased autonomic arousal -Humans share a common ancestor with cats million years ago This funnylooking little -mammal would have shared its habitat with dinosaurs and would have had an autonomic -nervous system very similar to ours But the autonomic nervous system is much more ancient -than this -If you were to find a group of ants walking around on a tabletop then strike the surface -they were walking on they would freeze for an instant before running about their business in a -frenzy The neural components that receive and interpret the quick blow to the tabletop are -very similar in structure to our own Mammals and insects both inherit their autonomic nervous -systems from a common aquatic ancestor that lived around million years ago near the end -of the Precambrian supereon Yet we still share this same basic structure -Not all animals have an autonomic stress system Animals that live their lives attached to -rocks including corals sea squirts and anemones have no use for it Even some primitive -mobile animals such as jellyfish also lack this system We should consider ourselves blessed to -have it We just have to teach ourselves how to bring it under control because it is a great -servant but a terrible master -Ilustration Many orders of animals share similar stress responses and adapt to chronic stress in similar ways -know a man who is a psychopathic bully He is friendly to people at first to gain their trust -Then he says whatever he can to confuse upset and undermine them for his amusement -Before long his victims are breathless trying desperately to mount defensive arguments -against his red herrings Eventually he points at them laughs and says This man is fighting for -his life right now We are no different We overuse the sympathetic system during simple -social confrontations as if we were fighting for our very lives -The sympathetic system retunes our organs for intense uninterrupted physical exertion -This might be appropriate for a person forced to defend themselves against death on a minute -tominute basis But none of us do this in modern times Our stress system is set to overdrive -even though most of us sit on our butts throughout the day and the most upsetting things that -happen to us are minor verbal putdowns The likelihood of you dying prematurely is very low -but your body is operating as if it is high Persuade your body to stop this by choosing to -breathe in a new and different way as if your survival was guaranteed -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -To bring the sympathetic and parasympathetic back into balance we must recognize that -we are not fighting for our lives This is accomplished by spending more time with the -parasympathetic prevailing over the sympathetic How can we accentuate the parasympathetic -system Relaxed deep breathing But as you know maintaining a relaxed breathing pattern can -be extraordinarily difficult because we overreact to minor intrusions so strongly -Control Your Reaction to Stress by Mastering Your Startle Reflex -Your body has an inborn reflex known as the startle reaction that controls the frequency and -severity of stress Startle is a panic response to something alarming It is initiated in the -brainstem and kickstarts the sympathetic system It lasts for a fraction of a second between -onehalf and onefiftieth of a second and can be elicited by threatening stimuli such as loud -sounds and fastmoving objects It can also be elicited by thoughts about unpleasant subjects -such as dangers or deadlines When it happens our heart rate increases The next heartbeat -comes early which is a jarring experience This is often described as the heart skipping a beat -Adrenaline floods into the body The breath shortens We also gasp reflexively when startled -and this has the effect of making the breath shallower and more rapid Repeated startle -responses over weeks or months sensitize the startle pathway in the brain which explains why -anxious people are much more prone to startling -Startling can be very subtle in which case you may not realize that you have been startled -When subliminal startling happens continuously it is often recognized as nervousness The -submissive person will almost always experience more frequent startling than the dominant -person Highly submissive people will startle every few seconds during social interactions They -often startle during their own actions as if to apologize for them used to startle whenever -talking to someone It made me come across as shaken and fearstricken Sadly for some of us -startling and trembling are part of being nice -Startling devastates our composure You cannot look someone in the eye with a straight -face and decent posture after you have been startled Once another animal sees that you have -experienced a fullbody startle you immediately become prey With introspection and -patience we can learn to inhibit our startle magnitude and reduce our emotional reaction to it -To do this we must keep ourselves from overreacting when it happens When you feel yourself -startle dont get caught up in it or let it carry you away Instead let it wash over you like a -wave you have ducked under Reducing the startle reflex despite not being acknowledged by -mainstream science is feasible Some Buddhist monks have demonstrated significant inhibition -of their startle reflex even inhibiting almost all evidence of it -Startle also causes the bodys muscles to tense up Some muscles including those in the -hands feet face and abdomen are contracted intensely Contractions in the back jerk frail -spinal segments into unfamiliar positions Sustained contractions from frequent startling can -cause achiness and exhaustion Much of your muscular pain is centered in muscles overworked -by your startle response This is why it is important to cultivate awareness of how startle -manifests in your body so that you can ensure that you do not remain stuck in this -configuration -Aside from questions of frequency and intensity the posture you hold when being startled -is telling When your startle posture is indicative of surrender people and animals can see this -The way you carry yourself at the point of startle affects your default posture and comes to -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -dictate many aspects of your personality The fullbody startle is accompanied by specific -movements in mammals intended to protect certain body parts such as the neck and eyes In -human infants the eyes blink the face grimaces the back arches and the arms and legs flail -out with elbows and knees bent Adults form their startle postures over a lifetime Many people -flinch cower wince slump over flail duck backpedal drop things or buckle at the knees -In highlevel military police and martial arts training combatants are drilled to assume -specific fighting stances when alarmed Through repetition we can reshape the automatic -movement pattern that is recruited Most people startle recognizably several times every day -so you should have ample opportunity to correct your startle To begin experimenting on your -own start with Stress Adaptation Activity -Stress Adaptation Activity Designing Your Startle Posture -Imagine yourself startling How does it feel How do you usually move As you imagine it or -whenever it happens to you turn your full attention to how you respond Inspect your -actions and carriage and try to subdue the response Dont let yourself get caught up in the -emotions it evokes Also dont let yourself freeze stay loose and unfixed What do you want -as your favored startle position Look back at Table from the last chapter and think about -how it would feel to retain these optimal displays during and even after startling -recommend maintaining an erect posture a stable stance a calm face and steady -uninterrupted breathing Remember that diaphragmatic breathing inhibits the startle -response How do you orient toward the stimulus that startled you Face it headon rather -than turning away How would your role models startle How can you prepare or defend -yourself in a respectable way without submitting overreacting or lashing out -If touch my cat unexpectedly when he is nervous he will startle If hes not nervous he -wont We need to carry ourselves in a way that if something intense happens unexpectedly we -wont startle Reducing and reshaping your startle response is an example of how you can begin -to make progress in replacing anxious nonverbals with more healthy ones The discussion of -optimal postures throughout this book will help you determine what you want your startle -posture to consist of -Stress Adds Tension to Our Organ Systems -Over months or years elevated activation of the stress response can be highly detrimental to -health This is called stress adaptation and it reallocates the use of available resources in a -way that hinders the organism in the long term This is because most responses to stress are -desperate efforts to keep the organism alive just a bit longer The changes sacrifice longterm -investments in health and biological maintenance for intense shortterm expenditures Its an -ecological wager that acknowledges that the organism will likely not survive for years in the -present environment but may be able to survive long enough to reproduce one last time -Our modern bodies continue to make this same pitiful wager even though it is completely -unnecessary in todays environment The sympathetic upregulation that bought our ancestors -a little more time to reproduce today causes us strife adversely impacts our health -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -and sacrifices longevity Getting stuck in survival mode is antiquated and anachronistic It can -be seen as a Stone Age or even a Mesozoic the age of reptiles way of remembering just how -bad the environment is -Parasympathetic Sympathetic -Eyes SES -Constricts Pupils -Te Eyes -Kor Dilates Pupils -Salivary Glands Salivary Glands -Stimulates Salivation Inhibits Salivation -Heart -Accelerates Heartbeat -Heart -Slows Heartbeat -Lungs -Lungs io Dilates Bronchi -Constricts Bronchi -Stomach -x Inhibits Digestion -Liver -Glucose Release -CG Kidneys -Adrenaline Release -Stomach -Stimulates Digestion a -Liver -Bile Release -e -Intestines Cs -Peristalsis Secretion Intestines -Inhibits Peristalsis -Bladder -Contracts -QO -Bladder -Relaxes -Chain of -Sympathetic -Ganglia -Spinal Cord -Illustration How the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems affect the organs to prepare us for -either resting and digesting or fight or flight -The sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system revs up various organs Each of -these organs responds by overexerting itself differently Some people hold more trauma in the -stomach while others hold more in the face Each person has a different trauma setting for -each of dozens of modules and hundreds of muscles This gives everyone a unique pattern of -strengths and vulnerabilities Some of these modules correspond to functional structures such -as the swallowing apparatus the muscles of urinary control or the intestinal sphincters Some -modules may correspond to plexuses or clusters of nerves such as the pharyngeal plexus the -cardiac plexus or the solar plexus -These anatomical modules partially overlap with the ancient Hindu yogic structures called -chakras Chakras are thought to channel energy and correlate with both physical ailments and -emotional strengths Chakrabased practices are characterized as pseudoscience today because -they stem from an ancient philosophy that made some assertions that turned out not to be -true However the primary concept of the chakra has some validity Modern medicine -generally acknowledges that even the archaic descriptions of chakras bear a remarkable -resemblance to contemporary anatomical descriptions of nerve clusters -For example consider the throat chakra All of us hold some degree of tension in the -muscles that control the vocal tract This traumatizes our voice boxes and manifests as a painful -lump in the throat which worsens as stress increases It causes us to feel choked up -diminishes vocal range and makes the voice weaker and hoarser with age However we can -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -retrain our vocal apparatus using a series of exercises designed to relax and strengthen the -muscles restoring a broader vocal range and effectively healing this chakralike module This is -the subject of Chapter -illustration A Spinal nerve plexuses B Meditating yogi with chakras represented by circles C Internal organs -The extent to which our chakras have been impacted by stress and trauma determines the -extent of our submissive displays and our aptitude for composure In other words chronic -stress disfigures organs through developmental plasticity This includes tensing the muscles -behind the face nasopharynx retracting the genitals and contracting the smooth muscle of -the gut The people most afflicted are more susceptible to sensations like the jitters a -bleeding heart butterflies in the stomach the sensation of a heavy weight on the chest -and shortness of breath These forms of chakra discomfort are the primary causes of anger -pain shyness introversion and the background hum of persistent anxiety -Most of the time we dont notice our compromised displays the physiological dysfunction -or even the pain they cause Neither angry nor shy people understand that their behaviors are -dictated by the discomfort that comes from unbalanced organs Instead and quite -unfortunately they often attribute their responses to aspects of their environment They use -violence or submission to try to change the environment instead of using selfcare to change -themselves This lack of awareness allows their pain to control their behavior all the more -effectively -Each chakralike module has its own mini nervous system and each sends and receives -messages to both conscious and unconscious areas of our brain Our mind is continually -receiving updates from these modules and has the opportunity to send instructions back to -them However if you neglect to guide attention to the sensations the brain develops a blind -spot or scotoma for them making them almost impossible to selfregulate Program Peace will -help you develop an awareness of and control over these different modules We will focus on -sensing where the modules are whether you are straining them and by how much The -program will also help you learn how to hold them optimally while breathing diaphragmatically -so that you can combine them into healthful ways of being -Often when an individual attempts to withhold submissive displays other signs of -submission spill out despite their best efforts When someone unintentionally emits signals that -betray nervousness psychologists call this phenomenon tension leakage Examples of tension -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -leakage include a cracking voice swallowing at inopportune times body sway increased -blinking trembling fidgeting stammering and startling People who show such leakage early in -a confrontation are sometimes thought of as weak or soft Unfortunately most people -socialize by default in a state of moderate physiological distress just below their threshold for -tension leakage This book will also help you become aware of your tension leakage and try to -persuade you not to be afraid or ashamed of it -Stress Adaptation Activity Accepting Tension Leakage -Our bodies often betray us by showing others that we are anxious We know that other -people perceive this nonverbal tension leakage and make judgments about us Because it is -embarrassing this can add an additional layer of stress and pain When we know that other -people can see that we are choked up or our hands are shaking we feel we have been -humbled and fear this as a type of demotion -The next time you find yourself nervous in a social situation dont allow other peoples -perceptions of your composure to throw you off or make things worse Be a legendary -warrior like Gilgamesh Shaka Zulu Athena or Hattori Hanzo who has the focus and -gumption to continue unphased Instead of being crushed by your bodys demonstration of -its weaknesses let your heart shine right through them Push through the instability without -denying it covering it up compensating for it with anger or being defeated by it Learning to -do this will allow you to harness the energy seeping through the cracks and transform it into -excitement and power that you can reroute to your advantage -If you had to point to places in your body and say My anxiety exists in the pain feel -here where would you point Do you think it is possible to rehabilitate that area think it is -Do you think it involves muscles that can be contracted think it does As Chapter discussed -you can heal your chakras by bringing them to fatigue Holding the muscles involved in a firm -sustained contraction for several seconds will exhaust them If you are relaxed and breathing -diaphragmatically muscular exhaustion leads to recuperation -The chakralike modules are pots that are boiling over leaking everywhere People -engaging in tension management try to put a lid on the pot but find themselves constantly -cleaning up the spillage The exercises in this book take another route Instead of trying to -cover up the spills or hide them they turn down the heat on the stove so that you can exhibit -grace under pressure -Even Sea Slugs Take on Trauma -One of Earths simplest animals provides a great model for trauma The sea slug Aplysia -californica is a large shellless sea snail The Aplysia has a defensive reflex to protect its -respiratory organs from damage When the area around its gill is touched the animal retracts -the gill up into the bulk of its body The response is so simple and reliable that neuroscientists -have used it to study the cellular basis of protective reflexes -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -In neuroscientist Eric Kandel was awarded the Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine -for his research on these animals He decided to use the sea slug in his experiments because it -has very large neurons and there are only about twenty thousand of them Contrast this with -the one million neurons in a cockroach or honeybee and the billion neurons in the human -brain This simplicity however is no barrier to effective function The slugs are more than -capable of learning carefully about when and how much to retract their gills and thanks to -Kandels work we have a clear understanding of the neural mechanisms involved -The Aplysias gill retraction reflex exhibits a phenomencn called sensitization whereby the -reflex can be strengthened by adding a painful stimulus By shocking the animal with a small -amount of electricity experimenters cause it to startle Pairing the shock with a touch to its gill -can make its natural defensive response much more powerful Sea slugs trained this way are -constantly on guard withdrawing their gills more forcefully and for up to four times as long -when touched This change occurs because the slugs on high alert have generalized the -negative experience of the shock to other stimuli so that even a benign light touch elicits a -powerful withdrawal -Illustration A Sea slug Aplysia californica B Aplysia with gill fully relaxed C Aplysia with gill fully retracted -You could say the muscles and nerves involved in retracting the gill constitute a chakra -This is similar to how humans come to hold tension in muscles all over their bodies overreact -to unthreatening stimuli and generalize traumatic experiences to everyday life The Aplysias -gill retraction reflex is analogous to the reflexes responsible for a wide range of submissive -displays from our squinting eyes to our hoarse voices from our suppressed sexuality to our -tense diaphragms The only real difference is that the sea slugs are traumatized by actual -painful stimuli whereas most of our trauma comes from the way we interpret social -competition -The good news here is that the Aplysia can very easily be desensitized and so can we -When the slug is touched lightly and repeatedly without being shocked there is a progressive -decrease in how far it retracts its gill Gradually it relearns that there is no risk associated with -light touching and it becomes able to relax Such a decreased reaction to a stimulus is known as -desensitization or habituation Slugs cannot heal their own chakras in this way However by -simulating an optimal environment through relaxed diaphragmatic breathing and using the -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -right mindset we can Rather than researchers prodding us with electrodes we have social -contacts prodding us with provocation This book will teach you how to desensitize your -chakralike modules to their competitive attacks -Stress and Competition in the Dominance Hierarchy -Since the discovery of the pecking order among hens by SchjelderupEbbe in status -hierarchy has been understood as the predominant form of social organization in vertebrates -Animals that live in social communities must actively compete in the same space for resources -When food mates or territory are disputed dominant individuals will prevail over -subordinates Interestingly a tiered social system helps the group become stable and viable -over the long term On average it is beneficial for each member even for those of the lowest -ranks This is because it minimizes violent competition over resources by defining the -relationships among members Dominance hierarchies improve reproductive fitness for all the -animals involved by discouraging physical fighting thereby saving time and energy and reducing -the risk of injury -Unfortunately a stable hierarchy necessitates constant signaling Many mammals send out -submissive signals even before any direct confrontation occurs For instance the subordinate -dog will often whimper and place its tail between its legs in response to an immediate threat -Even in the absence of any threat it will carry its head low tremble slightly and adopt a -restricted tail posture all the time -In primates being harassed or subjugated by higherranking individuals even without any -physical contact is the major form of stress for many species But it is not just being -dominated that is stressful It is the compensatory response Submissive displays activate the -bodys sympathetic nervous system and create continuous strain on the muscles and organs -responsible for them -Chronic Submission Turns into Social Defeat -Most animals have a nearly equal propensity to display dominant and submissive displays in -infancy and young mammals often use both interchangeably in bouts of play However as the -animal matures one of the two types of display becomes more frequent and more -pronounced Their experiences with victory and defeat drive this shift The term social defeat -refers to losing a confrontation or dispute with a member of your species This happens -constantly in the wild The more frequently you feel defeated the stronger your submissive -signaling becomes It is anticipatory and preemptive Animals that lose repeatedly exhibit -chronic subordination wearing the extent of their social defeat on their sleeves to advertise -their place in the hierarchy -Cricket fighting is a popular pastime in China and provides a perfect example of social -defeat A cricket loses a match if it is thrown from the ring runs away from a battle or avoids -contact Studies have found that after just one loss a cricket can lose its fighting spirit and -will only fight again one time out of ten Rather than engaging in actual combat the insect will -simply flee the next time it is approached without even taking the time to size up its opponent -Other examples are just as dramatic In experiments with mammals the resident -intruder paradigm is often used This involves placing a subordinate rat near the cage of a -more dominant one Inevitably the dominant rat will make a dominance display resulting in -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -the subordinate animal being threatened and acting defeated Sometimes the submissive rat is -placed inside the dominant rats cage which leads to the intruder being attacked and forced -into submission Because the cage is small and escape is impossible the intruder will lie on its -back emitting distress calls and freezing behavior to appease the attacker In both -experimental protocols the submitting animals physiology is significantly changed -Social defeat is a source of chronic stress in animals capable of affecting both neuro and -biochemistry In mammals social defeat routinely leads to social withdrawal lethargy -reduced exploratory behavior anhedonia decreased sexual drive and reduced levels of -testosterone in males and females In humans it is linked to low selfesteem feelings of -depression avoidance anxiety and increased levels of stressrelated hormones One of the -most dramatic changes is the attenuation of the breath You may have noticed that after a soul -crushing defeat the most notable change is that it sucks the wind right out of you -There is good evidence that social defeat in humans leads to poor health and goes hand -inhand with sympathetic upregulation Low social status is a robust predictor of death and -disease in humans Several largescale public health studies have found that low -socioeconomic status is strongly related to illness disease and mortality The lower a -persons status the more likely they are to have cardiovascular gastrointestinal -musculoskeletal neoplastic pulmonary renal or other diseases This association between -disease and social status cannot be explained away by related factors such as age income -health behavior race sex or access to healthcare and is thought to be a direct effect of -stress In places where everyone is poor the effect is nowhere near as strong It is the -inequality that affects health and it seems that social stress is the real culprit as socially -isolated people and those who receive less social care and inclusion have a greater risk of dying -from any cause -Experiences of social defeat cause us to become preoccupied with matters of status Male -chimps are obsessed with it They organize most of their lives around issues of rank allowing -social struggles to consume their time energy and mental lives Chimps use intimidation -bluffs isolation tactics and obtrusive social maneuvers to challenge and undermine others and -dethrone the leader Similarly human gloryseeking behaviors personal vendettas crimes -and even largescale political conflicts almost always involve efforts by individuals to improve -their rank Innate tendencies to resist social defeat form the basis of human egotism hubris -false pride and insecurity The primate ego is the source of much of our existential suffering -Our egos reflect the place in the pecking order in which we imagine ourselves This is why -the ego plays such a pivotal role in our mental lives The ego is a neurological mechanism -designed to help us navigate the primate social hierarchy while avoiding defeat It causes us to -compulsively compare our attributes to those of others and to use these comparisons to guide -our use of dominance and subordination displays After using the exercises in this book to -rehabilitate your breathing and other bodily functions hope you feel divested of your -submissive inclinations and with them your susceptibility to defeat When this happens you -should feel that your ego expands to include others rather than exclude them -We want to develop egalitarian relationships in which there is no vying for dominion Dont -bother subjecting yourself to the neverending backandforth game of status displays Rise -above them To do this you must respond to other peoples aggressive and submissive displays -toward you without feeling compelled to respond with those of your own Doing so involves -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -subduing four central mammalian instincts This means that whether they play submissive or -aggressive you choose not to respond with either aggression or submission You will find that -virtually anything else you respond with will be perfect -Trauma Devalues Us -We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated It may even be necessary to encounter the defeat -so that we can know who we are Maya Angelou -This books premise is that due to our molecular heritage and primate ancestors -preoccupation with social competition we are highly susceptible to becoming stress adapted -This causes us to hold various lesions in modules throughout the body It poisons our minds and -causes our behavior to be desperate combative and vindictive It causes us to perceive threat -when it is not intended and appraise real threat as more dire than it really is The resulting -tendencies cause unnecessary negativity that significantly impedes humanitys cultural and -intellectual progress -Stephen Hawking once argued that the human race is equivalent to chemical scum ona -moderatesized planet used to think that we were scum in both senses of the world -grotesque biological waste and miserable immoral miscreants Now think it is the -symptoms and physical stigmata of stress that cause us to act reprehensibly For that reason -think that they make us scum In my mind however if we can transcend our physical -afflictions we can transcend our propensity for evil In doing so we would also rise above our -lowly biological origins -Dominant Animals Are the Least Aggressive -What happens to an animal that reaches the top Does an ape that becomes an alpha -individual in their group become more aggressive or less aggressive What is your guess Many -people tacitly assume that dominant individuals are more aggressive than subordinate ones -The opposite is true When an ape or monkey is accepted as the alpha of its group its violent -tendencies evaporate They are the most assertive while also being the least aggressive There -is no need for either violence or threat displays except under unusual circumstances as when -a rival challenges the alpha This is true of both males and females It is therefore -counterproductive for a human to act aggressively in an attempt to appear dominant What -they appear as instead is impetuous and foolhardy According to primatologists Richard -Wrangham and Dale Peterson -The male chimpanzee behaves as if he is quite driven to reach the top of the community -heap However once he has been accepted as alpha in other words once his authority -is established to the point where it is no longer challenged his tendency for violence -falls dramatically Personality differences and differences in the number skills and -effectiveness of his challengers produce variation in how completely he relaxes -However once males have reached the top they can become benign leaders as easily as -they earlier became irritated challengers What most male chimpanzees strive for is -being on top the one position where they will never have to grovel The difficulty of -getting there induces aggression -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -Scientific observations like this document for us that acting aggressive is a sign of weakness -and selfperceived inferiority believe that the main reason dominant primates are not -aggressive is that their own subordination signals no longer haunt them As with apes so also -with humans we are kept controlled by our egos and obsessed with issues of pride because we -want desperately to stop having to submit know this was the case for me My nonverbals -were so submissive that was embarrassed by them didnt want to appear weak so would -instead get angry angry enough to cross ethical boundaries Deep down we know that -submissive behavior is the source of much of our physical and emotional pain so we are always -seeking ways to feel confident in leaving submission behind But the necessary confidence is -elusive -In the last chapter we discussed how once we stop sending submissive displays we no -longer have to choose between assertion and aggression because being assertive without being -aggressive will become second nature How is this so Imagine you were always blushing -always sneering and that you always looked like you were about to cry Imagine how -frustrating and difficult it would be to come across as assertive To be assertive you would -almost have to be passiveaggressive Right Chapter will show you that the tension we hold -in the muscles surrounding our cheeks and eyes keeps us continually on the verge of blushing -sneering and crying -Releasing the tension responsible for such displays will allow you to reach true equanimity -and present you with a different option At this point you will have to choose between being a -good person and being a bad person You can utilize your newfound composure altruistically or -malevolently At this crossroads believe most people will realize that being good is the only -real path because once your submissive behaviors have disintegrated it will become clear that -they were always the primary drivers for bad behavior -can tell you from firsthand experience because went from one extreme to another -When felt was on the bottom was sulky illtempered and hateful always felt like had -something to prove The majority of my time alone was spent planning retorts and retaliation -experienced other people as a type of hell Since being desensitized by Program Peaces -exercises no longer feel these emotions at all Other people are just not a source of negativity -anymore -Our ingrained bodily habits make it difficult to just stop sending submissive signals Even if -somehow we could leave behind our mental concerns related to status our bodies would -continue to carry symptoms of social defeat like shortness of breath the rock in the pit of our -stomachs and the hot tension in our faces These are spiritual burdens that will inevitably drag -us back into the hierarchical fray This book will show you how to mend these symptoms and -how to lay down the burden of submission shame and stressful social comparison Where do -we start With the cornerstone of confidence breathing easy -Breathing Easy Will Pull You Out of Survival Mode -In most mammals shallow breathing accompanies submission and aggression while deep -breathing accompanies dominance and assertion A submissive chimp always greets a more -dominant chimp first and does so using a sequence of short pantgrunts These depthless pants -are indicative of selfhandicapped breathing Chimps whimper when acting submissively -producing a highpitched sound accompanied by attenuated breath We also breathe shallowly -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -around others especially when experiencing social anxiety believe that if it were studied -researchers would find that the extent of deep diaphragmatic breathing is an accurate -predictor of social dominance the number of offspring quality of life and a wide variety of -other positive outcomes in primates and all mammals generally Unfortunately there has been -extraordinarily little related research on breathing style in animals or humans -Recent experiments have offered us glimpses into the benefits of breathing with the -diaphragm Study participants that practiced deep breathing achieved significant reductions in -selfreported anxiety stress hormones heart rate breathing rate blood pressure and the -activity of the sympathetic stress system It also enhances mood oxygen levels pulmonary -function cardiorespiratory fitness and respiratory muscle strength as well as parasympathetic -activity Findings like these along with the benefits have experienced myself have led me to -believe that the most important message that you can send your body and its cells is Hey its -totally safe to breathe slowly and deeply -The scientific community knows shallow breathing to be an indicator of stress and -sympathetic overactivation But it is rarely recognized as a submissive and conciliatory display -Recognizing it as such is important in understanding how to counteract it We breathe shallowly -to show people we are listening to them that we are concerned and do not think of ourselves -as better than them We face strong unspoken social norms telling us to breathe shallowly -Tragically however it results in stress adaptation increases our tendency to startle creates -tension in chakras throughout the body and rewires our mind for negativity -It is possible to escape the social pressure to breathe shallowly We can do so by building -strong consistent diaphragmatic breathing habits training ourselves to breathe deeply under -every possible circumstance Deep breathing in social situations breaks the link between social -friction and fight or flight It allows you to stop responding to social pressures as if they are -matters of survival -Whether you are sitting in a meeting chatting with a friend having an argument or taking -an exercise class there should be only one competition that is going on in your head Out of -everyone in the vicinity you want to have the most relaxed breathing The only way to -accomplish this is to breathe slowly smoothly and deeply reducing the number of breaths you -breathe per minute Relaxed breathing will liberate you from the status hierarchy and is the -only thing that you should do aggressively The next chapter will show you how -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -Chapter Bullet Points -e Your body is a survival machine designed to support a competitive molecular -replicator namely your DNA -e Our biology prioritizes the DNA and for that reason our bodies are designed to sacrifice -our physical and emotional wellbeing for the sake of survival and reproduction -e Asone example of this we are built to adapt to stressful environments by upregulating -our stressresponse activity resulting in anxiety and pain -e Even in the modern world everyones stress system has been overactivated to some -extent This anxiety or hyperarousal results in chronic muscular respiratory and -cardiovascular fatigue -e Anxiety and chronic stress negatively affect every organ in the body These organ -systems are roughly congruent with the ancient Hindu system of chakrasfamiliar body -parts that need to be rehabilitated with love and care -e We use anxiety as a submissive display to prove to others that we are neither too -calm nor too good for them -e The overuse of submissive signals leads to the accumulation of trauma within our -tissues and organs especially the breathing muscles The result is often chronic defeat -otherwise known as depression -e Being nonsubmissive is not about being tougher than anyone else it is about not -wasting energy on competitive nonsense that leads nowhere -e Dominant mammals are usually the most composed and the least traumatized and -hyperaroused They dont feel any need to use anxiety as a form of social lubrication -e Deep diaphragmatic breathing is the foundation of dominant behavior because it builds -unconscious selfconfidence -e You can escape the cycle of social anxiety by breathing deeper and longer breaths in -social situationsfearing no one but treating everyone well -e Through developmental plasticity new gene expression you want your body to make -persistent beneficial adaptations that are responses to an optimal environment -To do this you must give the body the right cues to trick it into assuming that your -environment is safe and full of resources This is accomplished by breathing with -the diaphragm -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Dewitt T J Sih A Wilson D S February Costs and limits of phenotypic -plasticity Trends in Ecology Evolution -Kelly S A Panhuis T M Stoehr A M Phenotypic Plasticity Molecular -Mechanisms and Adaptive Significance Comprehensive Physiology -Gabriel W How stress selects for reversible phenotypic plasticity Journal of -Evolutionary Biology -Pigliucci M Phenotypic plasticity Beyond nature and nurture Johns Hopkins -University Press -Reser J E Chronic stress cortical plasticity and neuroecology -Behavioral Processes -DeWitt T J Scheiner S M Phenotypic plasticity Functional and conceptual -approaches Oxford University Press -Hoffman K M Trawalter S Assumptions about life hardship and pain -perception Group Processes Intergroup Relations -Lin K N Barela A J Chang M Dicus E Garrett S Levine M Oray S McClure -W O Prenatal stress generates adult rats with behavioral and neuroanatomical -similarities to human schizophrenics Society for Neuroscience Abstracts -Schneider M Roughton E Koehler A Lubach G Growth and development -following prenatal stress exposure in primates An examination of ontogenetic vulnerability -Child Development -Talge N M Neal C Glover V Early Stress Translational Research and Prevention -Science Network Fetal and Neonatal Experience on Child and Adolescent Mental Health -Antenatal maternal stress and longterm effects on child neurodevelopment how and -why Journal of child psychology and psychiatry and allied disciplines -Sapolsky R M Why stress is bad for your brain Science -Sapolsky Why stress is bad for your brain -Miller T A Control of circulation in insects General Pharmacology -Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress -McEwen B S Stellar E Stress and the individual Mechanisms leading to -disease Archives of Internal Medicine -Nelson R J An Introduction to Behavioral Endocrinology rd ed Sinauer -Associates Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science -Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great -game of life Academic Press -Laufer P No animals were harmed The controversial line between entertainment -and abuse Lyons Press -Alcock J Animal behavior An evolutionary approach ed Sinauer -Bjorkqvist K Social defeat as a stressor in humans Physiology and Behavior -Huhman K L Social conflict models Can they inform us about human -psychopathology Hormones and Behavior -Allen N B Badcock P B The social risk hypothesis of depressed mood -Evolutionary psychosocial and neurobiological perspectives Psychological Bulletin -Sapolsky Why stress is bad for your brain -Adler N E Boyce T Chesney M A Cohen S Folkman S Kahn R L Syme S L -Socioeconomic status and health The challenge of the gradient The American -Psychologist Kaplan G A Keil J E Socioeconomic factors and -cardiovascular disease A review of the literature Circulation -Pincus T Callahan L F Burkhauser R V Most chronic diseases are reported -more frequently by individuals with fewer than years of formal education in the age -United States population Journal of Chronic Diseases -Seeman T E Health promoting effects of friends and family on health outcomes in -older adults American Journal of Health Promotion -Stanford C The new chimpanzee A twentyfirstcentury portrait of our closest kin -Harvard University Press -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Wrangham R W Peterson D Demonic males Apes and the origins of human -violence Houghton Mifflin -Chen Y F Huang X Y Chien C H Cheng J F The effectiveness of -diaphragmatic breathing relaxation training for reducing anxiety Perspectives in Psychiatric -Care -Janet K S Gowri P M Effectiveness of deep breathing exercise on blood -pressure among patients with hypertension nternational Journal of Pharma and Bio Sciences -B -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly -and on Long Intervals -Regulate the breathing and thereby control the mind BKS lyengar -What is breathing Breathing is the exchange of gasses used by land animals to provide their -bodies cells with the oxygen They need that oxygen to burn food into energy Oxygen allows -cells to break down sugars derived from food and provide us with energy to move and think -Breathing takes many forms For example crickets simply circulate air through open tubes -while fish use gills to collect oxygen from water -In animals with lungs breathing is called ventilation During the ventilatory process air is -pulled into the lungs where gas exchange takes place Oxygen diffuses from the air into the -blood during inhalation and carbon dioxide diffuses from the blood into the air during -exhalation When the environment requires that an animal move more than usual its breathing -rate increases so that more oxygen can be delivered to its busy cells -Ilustration A Circulatory system of a cricket B Gills of a salmon -Mammals have muscles in the chest that act to inflate and deflate the lungs The most -important of these is a specialized muscle located beneath the lungs called the respiratory -diaphragm Other land vertebrates including amphibians reptiles and the late dinosaurs -exhibit a similar structure although theirs is simpler and sits above the lungs rather than below -The mammalian diaphragm changes its behavior depending on the immediate circumstances -focusing on efficiency in safe environments but producing paranoid overexertion in threatening -ones This chapter will describe how stress causes the diaphragm to produce quick shallow -strokes and how deliberately practicing longer fuller breaths can reinstate its proper function -Distressed Breathing vs Diaphragmatic Breathing -Breathing shallowly at short intervals is known as distressed breathing It is also known as -defensive breathing nondiaphragmatic breathing or thoracic breathing The behavior is -strongly associated with stress and anxiety disorders and tends to cause nervousness and -discomfort Distressed breathing is characterized by rapid uneven breaths punctuated by -gasps sighs and breath holding It can easily become habitual leading to serious longterm -dysfunction -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Distressed breathing has a reciprocal relationship with the brains stress and threat -response systems We breathe more defensively when we are afraid and we become more -afraid when we breathe defensively Distressed breathing is also used as a signal of submission -This is why improving your breathing will not only help you control negative thinking but also -help you become more dominant Indeed you will find that true diaphragmatic breathing is -incompatible with anxiety social and otherwise -People who breathe shallowly are usually unaware of the condition and do it unknowingly -throughout the day Most of us breathe by default with bated breath We wait for everything -in our lives with abated breathing as if a judge were about to announce our prison sentence -We do this even when circumstances are normal and unthreatening Everyone understands -more or less instinctively that inhibited irregular breathing is a source of tension and stress -This is clear from the popularity of idioms like waiting to exhale sigh of relief couldnt -catch my breath breath of fresh air give me some breathing room and short of breath -Breathing patterns are contagious and often modeled Children learn how to breathe from -their parents For this reason children often take on the anxiety level of their parents We -perceive others breathing patterns from their movements speech patterns sounds of -inhalation and exhalation and facial tension We all alter our breathing to accommodate or -match that of the people around us saw this clearly when my distressed breathing would -contaminate the breathing of others -Is your breathing unhealthy Likely so Imagine that you are threading a small needle with a -thin thread As you line up the thread with the hole are you holding your breath You shouldnt -be Experience pronounced distressed breathing firsthand by doing the following activity -Breathing Activity Simulating Distressed Breathing -Sit comfortably and focus on your breath Time your inhalations and exhalations to last only a -second each and breathe like this for seconds Next time each breath to last for just half -a second Continue to breathe this way for one minute or until you feel uncomfortable -whichever comes first Now stop and observe your body and mind How does your chest -feel How do your shoulders and neck feel How has your mood changed Wouldnt it be -terrible to be stuck breathing like this forever -After performing this activity most people report uncomfortable sensations such as -anxiety panic or tension accompanied by increased heart rate physical agitation -breathlessness chest pressure or even the feeling of starving for air These are the typical -outcomes of distressed breathing and many of us unnecessarily subject ourselves to them -daily An anxious person will breathe at an average rate of to breaths per minute A -relaxed person practicing diaphragmatic breathing will breathe only five to seven times per -minute Problems with diaphragmatic breathing are best conceptualized as falling on a -continuum rather than as a threshold There are no firm diagnostic criteria for distressed -breathing virtually everyone is somewhere on the spectrum -Newborns breathe diaphragmatically but by age ten diaphragmatic function is usually -minimized This is because few of us experience childhoods that our bodies interpret as -optimal The transition away from diaphragmatic breathing occurs during early childhood as we -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -learn which environmental stimuli should be linked to concern and worry The process is -normal and prepares us to be especially cautious in specific situations However by the time we -reach adulthood nearly every situation recruits distressed breathing just some more than -others Distressed breathing is implicitly conditioned to occur alongside many activities and -postures and these associations are often never unlearned That leaves us gasping when the -telephone rings holding our breath while sitting at the keyboard and hyperventilating during -everyday conversations -We cannot immediately switch from distressed breathing to competent calm diaphragmatic -breathing because we are held back by longterm physiological changes wrought by years of -breathing shallowly These changes involve a multitude of alterations to the muscles and nerves of -the respiratory system They cause the diaphragm to atrophy and become stuck in partial -contraction These changes are driven by gene activity constitute developmental plasticity and are -largely responsible for the sympathetic overactivation discussed in the last chapter Fortunately -the changes are reversible However you cannot pay anybody to retrain your breathing for you -and there is no pill you can take It requires time and discipline As with the other exercises in -this book you will find the breathwork rewarding once you start to see the results -Many therapists books and selfhelp resources promote breathing exercises Most of -these exercises last only a few seconds are intended to counteract panic attacks and come -with no guidelines for permanently changing breathing style Moreover users are often only -told to breathe deeply or focus on the breath without being provided any further -instructions Simply focusing on the breath is beneficial because it prompts the individual to -note when their breath is unnaturally shallow It causes the person to think Wait my current -predicament is not all that bad so why am breathing like there is something at stake That is -a productive first step -Awareness of desperation in the breath is a start but it does not address the problem at its -source Rather than simply focusing on the breath we need to actively lengthen and deepen -our breaths throughout the day to strengthen the muscles and reprogram the unconscious -breathing circuits in our brainstems Consciously overriding its injurious commands will rewire -your brain and retune your entire body -Diaphragmatic Breathing Utilizes the Respiratory Diaphragm -Deep nondistressed breathing is controlled by the diaphragm a domeshaped skeletal muscle -that separates the thorax containing the heart and lungs from the abdomen containing the -intestines stomach liver and kidneys Only an eighth of an inch thick it extends across the -bottom of the rib cage and moves air into and out of the lungs by changing shape It moves like -a plunger When it contracts the diaphragm moves downward drawing in breath resulting in -inhalation When it relaxes it moves upward expelling air and causing you to exhale The -diaphragm can move as much as ten centimeters but many adults use only around one -centimeter or of the total range Expanding the range of your diaphragm is essential -and designed this chapters exercises to do just that But first lets explore how to move the -diaphragm at all -Diaphragmatic breathing also known as eupnea in the scientific literature and belly -breathing in the vernacular is an unlabored form of breathing seen in untraumatized mammals -You should be able to observe it in any young mammal resting peacefully It is easiest to spot -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -in a sleeping infant a kitten or a puppy lying on its side The animals stomach will move up -and down with each breath How do you know whether you are breathing with your -diaphragm Your belly should move in much the same way Use the conventional guidelines for -belly breathing in the activity below -Breathing Activity Belly Breathing -Lie on your back with a pillow under your head Place one hand on your chest and the other -on your stomach Focus on how your belly moves Ensure that it rises with each inhalation -and falls with each exhalation When you are breathing with the diaphragm it displaces the -stomach causing it to move up and down On the other hand during distressed breathing -the chest neck and shoulders move and the stomach remains still -Distressed breathing makes you feel like you are growing taller and lengthening -Diaphragmatic breathing makes you feel like your belly lower ribs and lower back are -expanding Distressed breathing makes you feel like you are fighting to retain control over -your environment It can be hard to give up the false sense of security it provides -Diaphragmatic breathing may feel uncomfortable at first as if you are letting your guard -down to an extent that is unsafe You may find that letting your stomach rise takes courage -and a bit of faith -You should notice that that at certain points during your inhalation the diaphragm locks up -and the belly stops moving entirely Watch for these impediments Its almost like you are -trying to convince your diaphragm that it is safe to come out and play Try different breathing -styles until you find one that lets you easily and naturally keep your stomach rising and -falling It may help to place an object like a book on your belly Give yourself several minutes -to experiment -Exhalation Inhalation -N -Z y -Lungs rR Lungs -Deflate XS IN Inflate LY -W -Diaphragm J Diaphragm -Relaxes Y Contracts -J i -ft -Stomach Y stomach L Jf -Pulled In -Expands -IMlustration A Belly breather ensuring that the stomach rises and falls B Motion of the diaphragm -during breathing -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -The motion of ones stomach is the telltale sign of diaphragmatic breathing and this -method works for many people However most instructions for diaphragmatic breathing -end here This was discouraging for me because felt there should be a more substantial -protocol Moreover realized my stomach was rising and falling only because was using my -abdominal muscles rather than my diaphragm to suck it in and push it out No matter how -tried to vary my approach to each breath my stomach would not move unless used my -abdominals to move it My diaphragm was so tense that monitoring the motion of my stomach -did nothing for me wonder how many other people following these guidelines simply use -their abdominal muscles to mimic the movement without breathing diaphragmatically -After years of exhaustively reading the medical literature on anxiety became convinced -that my problem lay with my dysfunctional breathing style was determined to correct it but -couldnt find anything that explained how would lay on the ground for hours trying to -perceive the movement of my diaphragm to no avail The diaphragm has relatively few -proprioceptive nerve endings meaning that it is difficult to tell how much it is contracting and -where it is in space That makes it very difficult to perceive consciously which makes the -problem all the worse -Why did natural selection hide our diaphragm from us Perhaps as with the heart our -genes dont trust us to know how to control the diaphragm consciously Grievously the body -has a vested interest in keeping us from interfering with traumas adaptive manifestations If -our environment is seemingly drastic our genes want us to treat it as such One of the few -times we notice our diaphragms is when we have hiccups With this in mind try using the -following activity as an alternative route to getting a feel for your diaphragm -Breathing Activity Simulating Hiccups -Fake a hiccup ten times A genuine hiccup utilizes the diaphragm to generate force -Pay special attention to how it feels to move the diaphragm in the form of a hiccup As you -feel the muscle contract remind yourself that this is the muscle you want to use to power -your breath -A hiccup is initiated by a reflex arc that produces a spasm of the diaphragm myoclonic -jerk Hiccupping involves rapid abrupt diaphragmatic contractions Of course this is the -opposite of how you want to breatheie slowly and smoothly However hiccupping helps -you become acquainted with your diaphragm Fake a few hiccups and you will localize your -diaphragm in space and sensorium Another way to sense your diaphragm is to hold your -breath for to seconds You will feel a muscle between your stomach and chest pulsate -This is the diaphragm trying to jumpstart your breathing pattern -The key to sensing and recruiting the diaphragm is teaching yourself to breathe at a -smooth continuous and constant rate This automatically mobilizes the diaphragm because it -is what the diaphragm is specialized for and designed to do Shallow breathing stifles -diaphragmatic movement When the diaphragm is stifled we use other less efficient muscles -for breathing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration A Diaphragm lungs and respiratory airways B Diaphragm shown within and outside the rib cage -C The phrenic nerves send motor commands to the diaphragm and receive sensory information from it -Distressed Breathing Utilizes the Thorax and Clavicles -During distressed breathing the stomach doesnt move but the chest does It involves pivoting -the ribs around the joints where they attach to the vertebrae The thoracic or intercostal -muscles of the thorax perform this function The thoracic muscles form the meat in between -the bones of barbecued ribs The external intercostals swing the ribs upward and forward -powering inhalation The internal intercostals pull the ribs inward and downward powering -exhalation In a nutshell diaphragmatic breathing presses the floor of the lungs up and down -whereas thoracic breathing expands the walls of the chest inward and outward One effect of -this difference is that thoracic breathing does not fill the lower portions of the lungs with air -while diaphragmatic breathing does Thoracic breathing is inherently shallow It is also less -efficient because it requires more workand more breathsto transport the same amount of -oxygen into your blood -Clavicular breathing is another form of distressed breathing that involves a shrugging of the -clavicles and shoulders It is even shallower and less efficient than thoracic breathing It is also -called upper thoracic breathing as it only pulls air into the top third of the lungs Clavicular -breathing is a serious problem as it can nearly eliminate the function of the diaphragm -leading to even weaker less effective breaths -A respiratory physiologist can measure the extent of clavicular and thoracic breathing using -electromyography by placing electrodes on the muscles surrounding the clavicles and upper -thorax The electrode readout indicates how active these muscles are and thus how defensive -the persons breathing is You can observe this yourself by paying careful attention to the -movement of your shoulders during breathing If they move up with the inbreath you are -breathing with your clavicles Clavicular breathing becomes especially pronounced during -exercise In general you should never breathe with your shoulders As Chapter will explain -it is preferable to keep the shoulders still and pressed toward the floor -During ideal diaphragmatic breathing the thoracic muscles and the diaphragm work -together with every breath The diaphragm should lead the thoracic muscles setting the pace -and making each breath long and smooth As in the synergy seen between sympathetic and -parasympathetic branches of the nervous system the diaphragm is supposed to work in unison -with the thoracic musculature This synergy falls apart during anxiety when the thoracic -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -musculature and the sympathetic system take over We have so far encountered two major -antagonists in our story about chronic stress First we have the overactive sympathetic nervous -system Second we have overactive thoracic breathing It should come as no surprise that the -two problems collaborate exacerbating the detrimental effects The resulting distressed -breathing drains our energy ties knots in our muscles ages us prematurely and turns us into -nervous wrecks -The critical link between emotion and stress is the breath The fear and grief circuitry of the -brain activates thoracic breathing and inhibits diaphragmatic breathing Habitual thoracic or -clavicular breathing chronically overstimulates the sympathetic nervous system keeping heart -rate and blood pressure elevated while loading the diaphragm with muscular tension This -causes sympathetic overload On the other hand the neural circuitry for selfsoothing mood -stabilization and the calming branch parasympathetic of the nervous system is linked to the -diaphragm -There is a simple explanation for this The diaphragm is structured and situated to contract -slowly and steadily to take in just the right amount of air to oxygenate the body at peace -It moves at the optimal rate to procure the proper amount of oxygen needed in a tranquil -environment However its leisurely pace would be a hindrance to wild animals in a hostile -environment -Thoracic musculature is optimized to produce accelerated breathing during a crisis -Thoracic breathing allows mammals to actively modulate their breaths in response to -fluctuations in anticipated danger In the short run this would have helped our prehistoric -ancestors prepare for the increased oxygen requirements they would need for fight or flight -maneuvers Sadly most of us live in this mode even though we are no longer protecting our -bodies from predators or clubbearing maniacs The modern world has tricked our bodies into -thinking that our environment is too stressful to breathe peacefully when the opposite is true -Distressed Breathing and Social Rank -If you would like to experience pronounced thoracicclavicular breathing watch an internet -video of a violent street fight and pay careful attention to your breath The shallow rapidity will -become apparent You could achieve a similar effect just by watching an internet video of an -argument between two people This is because in primates social confrontation dysregulates -breathing nearly as much as physical violence When you feel disrespected cheated -or compelled to explain yourself you enter a state of respiratory distress When this happens -people usually act at two extremes either becoming conflictavoidant submissive or quick -to anger -Respiratory distress is marked by breathing so shallow that it interferes with your speech -causing your voice to falter You may feel like you are choking and suffocating at the same time -It is usually apparent to those around you and most people are embarrassed when it happens -to them The truth is that awkward social encounters cause most of us to experience a state of -respiratory distress throughout the day -My experience is that most people have little interest in using breathing exercises to -deepen their breath until explain to them that deep breathing is a dominant trait Then they -become eager Our respiratory behavior affects our social standing and how we are treated and -perceived People hear changes in the cadence and pitch of your voice that are caused by -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -distressed breathing and use them to make judgments about your level of confidence -Breathing is one of the most common markers of social rank -Diaphragmatic breathing retraining will make you practically immune to respiratory -distress With enough retraining people will be able to tell that you have little susceptibility to -it When your breathing shows no signs of distress people will not want to challenge or -provoke you because they realize they will reach respiratory distress before you do As you -develop your capacity for diaphragmatic breathing you will come to understand that the -people around you are constantly fighting wars of attrition to see who will show signs of -respiratory distress first -We also breathe shallowly in a distressed manner to communicate friendliness Because we -dont want to come across as overbearing or audacious or because we want to make others -comfortable we shorten our breaths and disengage the diaphragm In other words we breathe -in a distressed manner when we are afraid when we are mad and when we are being nice No -wonder it seems inescapable -Stifling and Neglecting the Diaphragm -Social and environmental stress are not the only causes of distressed breathing It can also be -the result of surgery or injury After colon surgery a gastric bypass a Caesarean procedure -or an appendectomy for instance the patient will have an incision wound on their abdomen -It is common for recovering patients to inhibit normal abdominal expansion during breathing -to avoid the pain of having their injury disturbed They learn to actively stifle diaphragmatic -movement out of fear of pain or stitches bursting at the incision site This learned pain -avoidance can be longlasting causing the patient to neglect the diaphragm and adopt thoracic -breathing as a fixed habit Chronic shallow breathing can result along with breathlessness and -anxiety It is uncommon for such patients to revert to diaphragmatic use even after the pain -from the surgery is gone unless breathing retraining therapy is undertaken You may have -never had abdominal surgery but to some extent past trauma and submissive signaling have -stifled your diaphragm in a similar way -Fortunately we have good models available for how to reinstate diaphragmatic use The -best of these is recovery from a ventilator In situations where medical patients are having -trouble breathing a machine called an artificial ventilator can be used to move air in and out of -their lungs When a doctor takes a patient off a ventilator they need to assess the persons -breathing mechanics to ensure the breathing musculature is strong and coordinated enough to -support unaided breathing Withdrawal from mechanical ventilation is known as weaning -Think of your thoracic breathing musculature as akin to a ventilator from which you need -to wean yourself Years of stress have caused the thoracic muscles to take control and your -diaphragm has weakened through atrophy caused by disuse The good news is that the -diaphragm can grow stronger quickly When you first start breathing diaphragmatically -it will be difficult It will feel as if you have been taken off a ventilator the muscles you are -forcing to breathe for you are not yet up to the job You will need to wean off thoracic -breathing by training the diaphragm encourage you to use the exercises in the rest of this -chapter to remove the ventilator of thoracic breathing and plunge headfirst into strengthening -your diaphragm -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -The Four Rules of Diaphragmatic Breathing -In the thick of my anxiety could tell that my breathing was highly dysfunctional used myself -as a model for what not to do and slowly made inferences about how to do the opposite of my -acquired tendencies read copiously about ventilatory mechanics and experimented with -numerous breathing styles Slowly after ten years of research introspection and trial and -error developed eight rules of diaphragmatic breathing This chapter will address the first -four which are -Breathe Deep high volume Breathe nearly all the way in by the end of each inhalation and -all the way out by the end of each exhalation -Breathe Long low frequency Engage in longinterval breathing breathing in for four to ten -seconds and breathing out for six to twelve seconds at a time -Breathe Smooth continuous flow Breathe at a steady slow nearly constant rate during -all breathing -Breathe Assertively confident Do not permit social concerns or life stressors to conflict -with the first three rules -Shallow Breath Short Breath Rough Breath -Distressed -Breathing SN -Deep Breath Long Breath Smooth Breath -Diaphragmatic -Breathing -Figure A graphical representation of the first three rules of diaphragmatic breathing The vertical axis -designates the depth of inhalation or volume of air in the lungs the horizontal axis designates time -A helpful way to improve your ability to monitor your breathing is to draw your breathing -pattern on paper Use the examples in Figure to work through the exercise below -Breathing Activity Draw Your Breathing Pattern on Paper -Sit down with pen and paper Become curious about your breath as if it is a phenomenon you -have never encountered As you observe each breath graph it with a free hand Make the -vertical axis correspond to the depth of the breath and the horizontal axis to how long each -breath lasts In other words volume on the yaxis and time on the xaxis Take different kinds -of breaths at different depths and frequencies Depict each as a curve on paper in real time -Just taking a few minutes to represent your breathing in this way will increase your breath -awareness helping you better visualize and monitor your breathing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -After my personal experimentation was convinced that adherence to these four rules -guaranteed diaphragmatic breathing researched these concepts to find support for them in -the scientific literature Further research brought me to the realization that certain clinicians -have been using tenets remarkably similar to these for decades For instance psychologist Erik -Peper developed an excellent system he calls effortless diaphragmatic breathing which -consists of a large tidal volume ml slow respiration rate breaths per minute -and continuous flow rate Additionally Resonant Breathing Coherent Breathing and the -Conscious Breathing Method are similar breathing methods that think are scientifically -accurate and very helpful -Related techniques for diaphragmatic breathing retraining have been used by relaxation -and biofeedback programs for decades They have also become popular in psychiatry and -clinical psychology and are now considered fundamental tools in cognitive behavioral therapy -Diaphragmatic breathing in general is now touted as an effective evidencebased stress -reduction intervention that is low in cost easy to use and can be selfadministered with no -equipment needed You might be wondering How is diaphragmatic breathing defined in -medicine Its simple In the clinical literature participants are considered as performing -diaphragmatic breathing if sensors show that they are breathing longer and deeper decreasing -the respiratory rate while increasing the amplitude of the respiratory waveform -Diaphragmatic breathing is well known to slow the heart rate and decrease blood pressure -It has been proven to reduce sympathetic arousal anxiety panic attacks and hyperventilation -syndrome It is also an effective treatment modality in pain management motion sickness -breathlessness and a range of psychiatric and medical disorders For all these reasons -diaphragmatic breathing retraining is used by healthcare providers around the globe -Participants in clinical stress reduction programs often report that the breathing stuff was the -most important thing they learned -Lets not forget that diaphragmatic breathing is also an ancient practice Scientists and -clinicians appropriated diaphragmatic breathing methods from India where they have been -used for thousands of years as part of religious and social customs Diaphragmatic breathing is -central to the practice of yoga Yogis use long deep inhalations and exhalations The Buddhist -form of meditation called anapanasati mindfulness of breathing and the Hindu practice of -pranayama control of breath have both explicitly utilized the first two rules outlined above -since antiquity Yoga teachers in every tradition make it clear that the only way to control your -mind is to cultivate control of your breath These sages advocate that we never stop paying -attention to it Yogis who are masters of svarodaya the yogic science of breathing claim to be -aware of every breath they take -Diaphragmatic breathing has been around for thousands of years and may just be the most -powerful tool in psychiatry if not medicine as a whole Why isnt it more mainstream How did -finish a formal education in psychology and brain science without being introduced to it -dont know for sure but think this is partly because it has never been taught correctly -Most existing breathing practices dont offer a systematic regimen to permanently increase the -depth and duration of breathing Consequently they dont provide enough of a benefit to make -a substantial difference for most people and thus are only used for extreme cases of anxiety -believe the unique program outlined in this book is so powerful that it can provide substantial -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -benefits for any user Hopefully by the end of this chapter you will agree Let us continue -by looking more closely at each of the four rules -Depth of Breath Increase Your Tidal Range -The average adult human has a total lung capacity of five to six liters of air but only a small part -of this capacity is used during normal breathing Nervous breathing will often involve -inhalations of less than half a liter We rarely breathe fully and most of our breaths are -confined to a narrow range This range is called tidal volume When you increase your tidal -volume which is done by deliberately breathing all the way in and out you increase your -likelihood of accomplishing the other two criteria of longer interval and constant rate -There is more than one way to deepen your inbreaths but the exercise below is one of the -most straightforward and reliable Its based on the work of Joseph Pilates who saw forced -exhalation as the key to full inhalation He advised his students to squeeze out their lungs as if -they were tightly wringing a wet towel Doing so improves the strength of your breathing -musculature quite rapidly Take advantage of this to increase your tidal range -Breathing Exercise Deep Breaths -Take five complete breaths For each breath inhale as much as you can and exhale as -much as you can To ensure that you are exhaling completely purse your lips and blow on -a fingertip as you did in Chapter until you can no longer feel your breath Both the top -and bottom of your exhalations will probably feel unfamiliar stiff and achy Just one full -evacuation of the lungs is often enough to kickstart diaphragmatic breathing because the -resulting vacuum automatically pulls the diaphragm through its full bottomend range -of motion -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Deep -Inhalation -Inspiratory -Reserve -Volume -Tidal -Volume -Expiratory -Deep Reserve -Exhalation Volume -Figure This graph shows a sine wave that indicates normal tidal volume The increase on the fifth breath -depicts a deep inhalation that extends the tidal range into the inspiratory reserve This is followed by a deep -exhalation extending the tidal range into the expiratory reserve Regularly extending the tidal range in this way -during breathing training will permanently broaden your default tidal volume and increase the involvement of -the diaphragm -Using an inspirometer while practicing Exercise can be very helpful An inspirometer -which you can purchase online for about ten dollars is an instrument that allows you to keep -track of exactly how much air you can breathe in vital capacity Using one consistently can be -helpful to track your progress You might consider monitoring your lung capacity for several -weeks with an inspirometer recording the results and watching your tidal range expand -At first it can feel uncomfortable when you breathe all the way in You might cough It -might feel like your lungs are going to pop It did for me Within two months of performing -Exercises and this all changed There was nothing uncomfortable about being at either -the top or bottom of my capacity and it no longer made me cough Before the training it took -me six seconds to inhale completely and about ten seconds to exhale completely After training -it took me only one second to inhale completely and only five seconds to exhale completely -What is more the maximum could breathe in as indicated by the inspirometer went from -to milliliters -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -Illustration A Inspirometer or incentive spirometer B Patient on a medical respirator C Two chest views -from the side depict a narrow diaphragmatic range versus a wide range -ye -The next activity will help you develop comfort while breathing outside of your normal tidal -range Focus on the uncomfortable sensations that arise Try to reinterpret them as -pleasurable try to associate the sensation of taking a full breath with satisfaction satiety and -fulfillment as if each full breath offers relief and rejuvenating sustenance -Breathing Exercise Breathe Outside Your Normal Range -Start by taking a full breath in Then without pausing resume breathing while remaining -near the top of your lung capacity In other words allow yourself short shallow -exhalations but keep taking full breaths in keeping your lungs full and your diaphragm -expanded Do this for ten breaths -Then do the opposite for another ten breaths Breathe all your air out then begin taking -very shallow inhalations alternating with full exhalations This will force your breathing -muscles to work outside of their normal tidal range expanding into the reserve volumes -and building a sense of comfort there -VV VW AVN -Figure A A graphical depiction of breathing above the normal tidal range for Breathing Exercise above B A -graph of breathing below the normal tidal range -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Length of Breath Paced Breathing -The typical adult breathing pattern is marked by shallow thoracic breathing at a rate of to -breaths per minute Many people with anxiety average from to which means each -inhalation and exhalation last only one and a half seconds A breathing therapy technique called -paced breathing will help you slow this down to a calmer and more grounded five to eight -breaths per minute -The goal of paced breathing is to extend your default habitual breathing rate Imagine that -you customarily breathe at a rate of twenty breaths per minute If you practice paced breathing -at a rate of five breaths per minute for several weeks the exercise will gradually decrease your -default rate from twenty down toward five The more you practice the closer your habitual -breathing rate will come to the target rate -ee DDADLA -Figure This graph displays a breathing rate of twenty breaths per minute during the first thirty seconds then -ten breaths per minute during the next thirty seconds then six breaths per minute then only two -The sympathetic nervous system fight or flight exhibits reduced activity when a person -takes fewer breaths per minute The correlation is direct and immediate Increasing the -number of breaths per minute causes sympathetic nervous system activity to spike whereas -decreasing this number causes it to plummet within one minute If you maintain a rate of five -breaths per minute heart rate and blood pressure drop nervous sweating declines and -subjective discomfort in response to threat declines significantly There is no easier faster -way to reduce sympathetic activation and the stress it causes believe that the most effective -intervention for life stress is paced breathing and that it should be used outside of the clinic -by everyoneon a daily basis -recommend using a breath metronome sometimes called a breathing pacemaker to aid -you in pacing your breath You can download one in the form of a mobile app for your phone or -tablet They generally cost between and S All Apple watch users are prompted by the -watch to use paced breathing daily They are guided for one minute to take four breaths -around sixsecond inhalations and eightsecond exhalations This is a step in the right -direction but to retrain your breathing it is necessary to spend several minutes per day -consciously engaged in paced breathing -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -developed a free app that you can use called Program Peace Paced Breathing It is -available for Android and Apples iOS The app gives both audible and visual cues to help you -time your breathing It displays a cylinder that fills and empties in time with your target -inhalation and exhalation rate Alternatively offer free downloadable audio MP files with -paced breathing cues on the Program Peace website As another option you can use the breath -metronome videos on the Program Peace YouTube channel My second favorite commercial -app is called Breathe Relax It was developed by the US Department of Defense for veterans -and individuals with posttraumatic stress disorder PTSD Please take a minute to procure a -breath metronome now -Recommended Breath Metronomes -Smartphone and tablet applications Program Peace Paced Breathing BreatheRelax -Breath Lesson Breath Pacer iBreathe Breathwrk Breathe Well Breath Counter -Pranayama BioBreathing Calming Breath Deep Breath Essence Tactical Breather -Audio MP tracks wwwprogrampeacecom -Videos The Program Peace channel on Youtube -It is very difficult to maintain paced breathing without using an external aid such as a breath -metronome In clinical studies of paced breathing most participants quickly return to baseline -in the absence of an external pacing signal You could use a clock or watch or you could count -the seconds in your head but this quickly gets tiresome and can be extremely difficult to -maintain as it relies on unwavering focus Unaided most of us are unlikely to stick with paced -breathing for more than a few seconds at a time By contrast using a breath metronome frees -up your mind to attend to other things You can do almost any activity with your breath -metronome playing in the background Having oneand familiarizing yourself with its use -is essential because the rest of this books exercises will require that you use paced breathing -z Pio -Poe -HOW TO USE THIS APP -PROGRAM -prooraw BREATHING RATE -ihe Breaths Por Minute -Intermediate hate fesse -shalt He so -min -breath -Easy Pace raiojsion Pi -Begisner Face wearer -Advances Pace enec IG -setow seen icra Sleep cou O -ox Breathina issisin I -x -Aste -Figure The Program Peace Paced Breathing app is free on both Apple and Android devices It contains a -breathing bar on the left side of the screen that rises on the inhalation and lowers on the exhalation -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -The next step is to find a reduced target breathing rate that will help you slow and -deepen your breath without overreaching Try the rates in the table below for thirty seconds -each until you find one that feels challenging but comfortable For many people the best -starting point is four seconds in and six seconds out for a total of six complete breaths per -minute This is an extremely healthy way to breathe want to encourage you to work up from -here toward an ultimate goal of five breaths per minute which is recommended by many -experts Its fine if you want to stay higher or go lower This standard of five breaths per -minute varies slightly depending on size and age For adults over six feet tall the ideal rate is -three to four breaths per minute whereas for children under the age of ten it is between six -and nine Any extension of your breathing interval will be beneficial Your goal should be to -train yourself to breathe at your target rate without any sense of effort or air hunger Be -patient this will take time The practice should feel sustainable and good -Inhalation Exhalation Breaths Per -seconds seconds Minute -Table List of Target Breathing Rates -Notice that in each row in the table above the exhalation is longer than the inhalation -This is because when you breathe out longer than you breathe in you activate the vagus nerve -the parasympathetic system and the bodys relaxation response The longer you can extend -your exhalations the more your autonomic nervous system will be pacified and the more your -heart will decelerate To augment this calming effect try to consciously relax during the -exhalations Think of every breath out as a long sigh of relief and the acceptance of a moment -of peace When youre ready to start explore your ideal breathing pace by working through the -activity below -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -Breathing Activity Using a Breathing Metronome -Use the chart above to find a breathing pace to work toward If you arent sure -x or x are good starting places for most beginners Once youve chosen a rate -set your breath metronome accordingly and sit or lie comfortably Follow the -metronomes prompts -Settle into a constant rate of inhalation that brings you to the top of your lung capacity at -the moment just before the metronome switches to exhalation As you breathe out find -a constant rate of exhalation that will allow you to reach near the bottom of your lung -capacity just before the metronome switches back to the inhale -Try working with the metronome for five minutes before a meeting or a date and you will -be amazed by your level of composure Practice paced breathing for ten minutes in advance of -an interview to give yourself a distinct advantage At a party excuse yourself for a few minutes -When you return you will find your social equilibrium restored It can help you relax your -muscles after a workout steady yourself after a stressful encounter prepare for the day or get -to sleep -Over the next few weeks find opportunities to include the breath metronome in your daily -routines often use it in the morning when wake up before go to bed while reading while -watching TV while working at my desk and during my commute dont use the mobile app -when driving because pressing buttons on the phone can be distracting and dangerous Instead -in the car listen to the breath metronome mps -Whenever you are doing monotonous busywork or your attention is otherwise free to -roam you can be breathing with a metronome Watching a movie is a chance for two hours of -calming grounding practice It can enhance the experience toowe usually breathe -thoracically when we watch film and television because of the suspense and tension that it -creates but paced breathing will detraumatize your psychological orientation toward even the -most intense scenes Put the metronome on silent and simply hold it in your lap or place it next -to the TV computer monitor or tablet so that you can use it passively while you attend to -other content -Use it with headphones while walking gardening or in the gym Let your use of it adapt to -your routines Regular use of a breath metronome will help you reestablish optimal breathing -and with it an optimal life think that breath metronomes should be found in every classroom -in every workplace in every therapists office in every yoga and Pilates studio in every -ambulance and beside every hospital bed -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Ininalle -Ilustration A Mobile phone with breath metronome application for paced breathing B Set your phone next -to your television so that you can be cued to perform paced breathing while watching your favorite show C -Grandfather clock with pendulum -Ago OoWoOonont -oyos -When you start staying with the metronome can be tricky If you have not yet filled or -emptied the lungs before the metronome switches go ahead and finish the breath that you are -currently on Quickly inhale or exhale the rest of the air before catching up with the metronome -on the next breath You may feel that you are getting too much air hyperventilating or not -enough hypoventilating This is normal and will pass but if it bothers you just choose a rate -that is closer to your default Work gradually toward a lower rate -To Avoid Getting Too Much or Too Little Air -If you are getting too much air or feel dizzy during work with the metronome simply -breathe more slowly You should be breathing at the same pace but inhaling less -powerfully filling the lungs a little less completely -If you are getting too little air or feel faint do just the opposite and increase the force of -your inbreaths Ensure that you breathe all the way in and all the way out Sometimes -the metronome will be going too slowly and you will feel air hunger If you still feel air -hunger disregard the metronome and take a few deep breaths using whatever timing -you need until you are ready to return to your target breathing rate -Paced breathing involves a learning curve At first it takes a fair amount of attention to -follow the metronomes cues and regulate the breath accordingly After just a couple of hours -of cumulative use you will find that it takes almost no attention at all This will encourage you -to do it more often and allow you to combine it with numerous activities If youre having -trouble settling on a breathing rate that feels comfortable use the table below as a rough -guide It lays out estimated breathing rates for what your target pace should be under different -conditions and cardiovascular demands -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -Beginner Experienced User Advanced User Inhalation Exhalation Breaths -User Time Time per -Minute -Jogging NA NA -Light Jogging NA -Exercise -Weights Light Exercise Jogging -Walking -Standing Weights Walking Light Exercise -Sitting Standing Weights Walking -Lying Down Sitting Standing -NA Lying Down Sitting -NA NA Sitting -NA NA Sitting Relaxing -NA NA Lying Down -Table Comfortable Breathing Rates by Experience and Level of Physical Activity -When Not Using a Breath Metronome -Try to focus on your breathing frequently throughout the day monitoring it and deciding -whether it is too shallow or too fast If so consciously deepen your breath -Catch yourself preparing to switch prematurely from breathing in to breathing out or vice -versa before you have taken a full breath Instead of switching prolong the tail end of the -breath in which you are currently engaged -Advanced paced breathing at a rate of fewer than four breaths per minute can be -powerfully relaxing should point out that it is not a comfortable or realistic default breathing -rate but training at this rate will help improve your default rate and train smooth breathing -which is the topic of the next section -Smoothness of Breath Breathing at a Constant Speed -The third element of healthy diaphragmatic breathing is the smoothness of your breath This is -a question of how fluidly you breathe and it ties together the previous two elements of your -practice Paced breathing and deep breathing can still allow for too much variability on a -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -momenttomoment basis This is where the flow rate of each inbreath and outbreath -becomes important -For instance at the beginning of my practice about halfway through each fivesecond -inhalation the speed of my breath would drop leaving the second half of the inhalation -weaker After this lapse would try to make up for it at the very end of the five seconds by -gasping was being lazy holding my breath midcount to get out of doing the work of -strengthening the diaphragm Instead we should try to breathe at the same rate throughout -each breath to keep the diaphragm engaged This involves breathing slowly gently and -steadily -The biggest barrier to smooth breathing is our tendency to switch from diaphragmatic to -thoracic inhalation when you near the top of your tidal range Every inhalation begins with the -diaphragm but once using the diaphragm outside of its default range we transition to a swift -thoracic inhalation to draw in that last bit of air Resist this instinct Instead try to get to the top -of your inspiratory reserve using only the diaphragm by breathing slowly and gradually Do the -exercise below to practice using your diaphragm throughout the entire inhalation -Breathing Exercise Practicing a Smooth Inhalation -Exhale completely Then inhale as slowly as possible Try to make the inhale last for at -least eight seconds but aim for to Notice how this feels It should feel natural and -normal for the first few seconds until your lungs expand beyond your usual tidal range -Maintaining a slow and constant inhalation rate will become more uncomfortable as you -reach the top of your tidal range Notice the urge to switch to an abrupt thoracic gasp and -resist it Continue to inhale slowly and steadily Take ten nonconsecutive inhalations in -this way -You experienced the impulse to switch to a rapid thoracic inhalation in the exercise above -because your diaphragm is not accustomed to providing steady suction for a breath outside its -normal tidal range think of this weakness as a diaphragmatic speedbump at the end of the -diaphragms habitual path Forcing smooth inhalations steadily past this range will rehabilitate -the muscular knot in your diaphragm responsible for this speedbump It will also accustom your -nervous system to utilizing the diaphragm more fully Breaking down this restriction that limits -your diaphragms range of motion is unique to the Program Peace system yet integral to -diaphragmatic retraining -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -Figure A Each of the three graphs starts with four shallow breaths for comparison In the first graph the fifth -inhalation is deep and long However the inhalation does not occur at a constant rate the slope of the line varies -As you can see it plateaus three times and ends with a gasp This person is gasping and breath holding because -they are uncomfortable breathing above their normal diaphragmatic range B The fifth inhalation in the second -diagram is also very deep However it is short in duration so it is basically a thoracic gasp the lines slope is very -high C The fifth inhalation in the third diagram shows the optimal breathing pattern of a long deep inhalation at -a steady rate with a constant slope -As you practice keep your flow rate steady by imagining yourself smelling a rose inhaling -very slowly as you savor its fragrance Or imagine that you are curled up with a small pet Make -your breathing as smooth and calm as possible to soothe it gently to sleep Realize that hasty -quivering jerky breaths would likely rouse and frighten it It is interesting to note that when a -cat purrs its breathing is slow even and powered by the diaphragm Above recommended -that you invest ten dollars in an inspirometer to monitor the depth of your breathing If you do -so purchase one with a flow rate indicator This will provide realtime feedback on how steady -and smooth your breathing is -Another option is to buy yourself a stethoscope to listen to your breathing You can find -these for around online When you put the bell of the stethoscope up to your mouth you -can hear tiny distortions and discontinuities in the breathdesperate little gasps These gasps -are more noticeable when you are selfdoubting and are sometimes described as fluttering or -catches in the breath It sounds a bit like the voice when it cracks While listening to these -distortions in my breath it became clear to me that breathing especially breathing deeply is a -struggle It doesnt have to be -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -The more slowly and fully you breathe outside of your tidal range the more you can hear -and feel these points of weakness in the breath The technical term for them is apneic -disturbances and they usually last for tiny fractions of a second They are such a basic feature -of most peoples breathing that they seem natural and normal but they are suboptimal without -a doubt These disturbances are caused by weakness in the diaphragm and correspond to -absences in its range of motion They are linked to the startle response and keep you feeling on -edge As the next activity shows you do not need a stethoscope to hear these -Breathing Exercise Smoothing Over Discontinuities -Cup both hands between your mouth and ear creating a bridge for the sound of your -breath Your breath should sound louder and the discontinuities in it should be more -apparent Listen for brief cessations or unevenness in the sound Once you notice them -concentrate on modulating your breathing so that these disturbances disappear making -the breath perfectly smooth and even The ribcage and stomach should be expanding -evenly as well Do not let the rate of your inhalation change Each second you should be -taking in the same volume of air Imagine that you are playing a single note on a trumpet -and carefully keeping its volume steady Try your best to ensure that the sound made is -smooth even and progresses at a constant rate -Pt tg gt yl -Illustration Person cupping their hands from mouth to ear to amplify the sound of the breath B Depiction of -a discontinuous rough breath compared to a continuous smooth breath -Buddhist and Hindu practices emphasize breathing through the nose and down the back of -the throat Many meditators concentrate on the ha or so sound this produces Creating an -even sound throughout each breath will ensure that the breath is being taken in at an even -rate To do this focus on maintaining the same sound from the beginning of each -inhalationexhalation to the end You know you are breathing diaphragmatically if the sound of -your breath is not changing Other ways to make sounds that you can monitor for constancy -include breathing as if you are fogging up glass making a hissing sound with your tongue -a haaaa sound with your voice a buzzing sound with your throat or a glottal sound with -your vocal folds Many meditators use mantras to accomplish this Using a stethoscope -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -cupping your hands or making a sound of some kind all accomplish the same thing So perform -Exercise using any of these methods -was concerned the first time heard my breath amplified by a stethoscope because -immediately recognized that these irregular pauses and gasps were unhealthy The irregular -pauses are magnified by adversity and are responsible for the sensation of respiratory distress -Breathing is strained whenever a single inhalation pauses slows or speeds up When someone -is stressed you can often hear them straining for more breath as multiple rapid gasps or -shudders will punctuate the inhalation The gasps occur when one is continuing to inhale -despite their bodys inclination to switch to exhalation The weakness in the breath tells us to -stop taking a full inhalation and go back to exhaling prematurely This is the same mechanism -that causes us to breathe shallowly and that creates the diaphragmatic speedbump This -phenomenon of fighting against oneself for breath is sometimes called paradoxical breathing -We are constantly modulating the rate of each breath from second to second depending -on our level of air hunger and transient stress We may alter the rate of a single breath many -times This is not ideal Tell yourself that you will stick with the same rate for the entirety of -each breath If you need to change the rate because you need more air change at the -beginning of the next inhalation or exhalation but not during an actual breath One helpful way -to assist you in this is through breathing exclusively through the nose which we will discuss in -Chapter -Imagine that your breath is an accordion that you have spent your life thrusting and -thrashing in a distraught feverish way Imagine now playing the accordion by moving your -hands very slowly and continuously stretching the accordion out to its full length and then -gently pressing it closed over and over -People who perform intricate manual work or marksmen who shoot targets find that -holding the breath helps steady the hands Once you reprogram your breath to be continuous -and smooth breathholding is no longer necessary to keep you from shaking As you paint an -eyebrow on that tiny face on your canvass or take aim at a distant target you will find yourself -smoothing out your breath rather than holding it -Distressed breathing progresses like an automobile that is alternating between stalling and -redlining You want your breathing to be like a reliable car engine purring on a smoothly paved -freeway with the cruise control on -Breathe Assertively -So far we have covered methods for breathing smoothly deeply and at longer intervals -The fourth rule is to breathe assertively We usually breathe as if we dont have any faith in our -breath A thoracic breather knows that a negative thought could interrupt the breath at any -time by prematurely turning an exhalation into an inhalation or vice versa This causes them to -breathe not only shallowly but cautiously and hesitantly as if they are tiptoeing It also keeps -them from breathing efficiently because they are not taking advantage of inertia If a breath -proceeds steadily it can capture its own momentum resulting in reduced effort -During hesitant unsteady breath the breathing musculature is constantly building and -then losing momentum -Model your breathing on the motion of a pendulum or some other uninterrupted -inevitable oscillating process Something that moves with certainty Each stroke of a pendulum -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -fully captures its momentum until gravity reverses the swing Any pendulum would be useless if -it slowed or stopped midway Picture your diaphragm stroking up and down in a slow but -unfaltering unagitated way Breathe out with certain knowledge that you are not going to -switch prematurely to a gasp Commit to each breath steadfastly -To feel comfortable breathing with confidence you will need to be willing to let the people -around you hear your breath You must not be afraid of being heard or noticed Instead be -proud of how your breath does not waver falter or hesitate Dont think that people will hear -it and be offended Breathe decisively and audibly if necessary for all to hear Breathing -assertively is the demonstration of true aplomb Start by using your imagination -Breathing Exercise Uninterrupted Inhalation -Take a deep long smooth breath all the way in Make the inhalation last as long as you -comfortably can preferably from five to seconds Do this eight times imagining each -of the distressprovoking scenarios below in turn As you do this dont let the upsetting -aspects of the scenario interrupt or cause discontinuity in your inhalation -Someone says something to offend you -You realize you forgot your phone -You notice you misplaced your wallet -You pass by a stranger while walking down the street -You hear a car backfiring or an earpiercing siren -You notice someone looking at you out of the corner of your eye -You tell someone what you expect of them -You are rudely awakened by a loud alarm -Many people who are widely admired and described as charismatic are merely assertive -breathers The selftaught dog behaviorist Cesar Millan is one such person He is widely known -for his Dog Whisperer television series in which he works with aggressive and abused dogs -In The New York Times attributed his success to his sense of equanimity describing this -as a sort of uberbalanced mien Millan calls it calmassertive energy and says that he -approaches dogs as a pack leader -There is good reason to believe that Millans effect on dogs derives from his breathing -Throughout the episodes of his TV series his breathing remains calm constant and resolute -despite repeated problematic encounters with both the dogs and their owners Cesar Millan -and people like him have an autonomous breathing pattern that is not susceptible to being -stopped short by the behavior or misbehavior of others Dogs are in tune with how the status -hierarchy is conveyed through breathing think the dogs know there is nothing they can do to -disturb his breathing so they listen to and respect him Millans techniques work as well on -abused and subordinated dogs as on aggressive and intractable ones -Respiratory rates and fluctuations in them constitute a language that all mammals speak -Try sitting near your cat or dog breathing calmly and then suddenly switch to short quick loud -breaths The animal will become concerned appear nervous and adopt your breathing pattern -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -If instead you breathe slowly and deeply they are likely to relax yawn and start stretching -If you breathe slowly and deeply while training or correcting them they will heed you -Health practitioners often need to assess their patients respiratory rate the number of -breaths inhalationexhalation cycles taken within seconds The method a doctor or clinician -uses to measure the respiratory rate of a child an animal or an adult can affect the -measurement Simply handling an animal will increase its respiratory rate giving a false -reading unless the animal is handled very gently in which case its respiratory rate may fall -Using a cold stethoscope to measure respiratory rate in a child will increase their respiratory -rate whereas other less obtrusive methods like counting the number of times the chest -rises may not -Clinical texts refer to the invasiveness of different methodological procedures for -assessing respiration A doctor that acts either domineering or too accommodating can raise it -Different aspects of our environment are constantly invading our respiratory dynamics -Dont allow your breathing rate or depth to be dictated by banal occurrences in your -environment Confidence starts with assertive uninterruptable breathing -The Connection Between the Breath and the Mind -Feelings of pain and frustration are compounded by shallow breathing Pride vanity and guilt -are also ramped up by distressed breathing and will focus on these relationships in later -chapters Shortness of breath makes us feel like we are suffocating In such a state we cant -help but think negative thoughts Once you have internalized the four rules and are breathing -deeply smoothly and at long intervals it will become clear to you that the mental bondage -chaining us to our ego and the social hierarchy is severed when breathing diaphragmatically -The discomfort from shallow breathing magnifies many addictive behaviors by making us -feel desperation Our breathing becomes shallower when we are hungry thereby strengthening -our cravings for food People use the phrase Im starving when they notice that their hunger -is affecting their breathing Similarly many people turn to cigarettes alcohol and anger when -they feel their breathing affected by unfavorable life circumstances When people use drugs to -change their emotional state they are really changing the state of their breathing -One can transform disordered breathing into quasihealthy breathing in minutes using -barbiturates sedatives or opiates However that effect is shortlived and the inevitable -withdrawal symptoms actually accentuate disordered breathing By contrast metronomeaided -paced breathing kicks in faster than drugs or alcohol and makes you a stronger person rather -than a weaker one Over time expect paced breathing to vastly increase your distress tolerance -and your capacity for emotional regulation -After started practicing paced breathing experienced a process of selfrecreation -At the end of this process had a new aura a new persona and a new relationship with others -The change within me elicited a different set of reactions from the people encountered -Strangers initiated pleasant conversations with me Individuals in crowded public spaces were -polite and at times even kind was more easily accepted in groups and committees found -that children and animals approached me without hesitation However it made some adult -males uncomfortable People who are competitive with you may assume at first glance that -your undaunted breathing pattern is a facade But even after a brief interaction they will -realize you are not faking it -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -You cant feign the poise made possible by diaphragmatic retraining Distressed breathing -on the other hand is a signal to predators that you are in panic mode When someone smells -fear they are actually sensing distressed breathing It tempts bullies to close in for the kill and -tends to intensify arguments into fights Diaphragmatic breathing does the opposite by -broadcasting assertive noncombative calm Diaphragmatic breathing safeguards you from -violence whereas thoracic breathing invites it -Many people only breathe easy in social situations in which they are with someone they -feel they can patronize and talk down to We should be breathing easy no matter who we are -with What people think about you how they are judging you and their current level of -displeasure should not be a factor in the equation that determines your ease of breathing -used to try to breathe more shallowly than everyone else around me to be polite This quickly -becomes dangerous to your health You may not feel comfortable with how secure you appear -to others when you breathe slowly and diaphragmatically You may feel there is incongruence -between it and your level of attractiveness strength or socioeconomic status Im writing to -promulgate the idea that there is never incongruity among these things -A part of us is afraid that breathing calmly around others is the ultimate insult We are -afraid that the other person will become angry if she sees us breathing too deeply We breathe -the most shallowly around the most dominant people in our lives This is partly because when -we breathe deeply our emotional reactivity decreases and our facial response time is delayed -Our faces become calmer and may appear less attentive You might feel that this makes you -look distant or disconnected -You will notice that you breathe at long intervals during a conversation that your face goes -blank and nonexpressive We need to get over the fear that someone will see us and think that -we look too calm As Chapter will discuss there should be no such thing as looking too calm -The best way to train this is to try to retain diaphragmatic breathing during all social -encounters It will become sincere with practice Dont let outside influences or internal fears -about them perturb your optimal breathing pattern -Breathe Diaphragmatically in Public -Diaphragmatic breathing in public is truly transformative When you first try it it will reveal -your tendencies for agoraphobia and social anxiety Within a few minutes you will start to -overcome them Heres what to do Take your breathing app with you to a restaurant coffee -shop caf picnic table or bench in the park Then using headphones listen to your breath -metronomes auditory breathing cues to practice paced breathing You will gradually feel -yourself letting go of social uneasiness As this new attitude becomes your default you will lose -your apprehension about potentially negative social outcomes making your outward -appearance more assertive and less defensive Other people will see in your face that you are -not afraid You will start to appraise the vast majority of people as harmless Instead of being a -potential assailant or judgmental critic each person will become just another face -Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Breathing in Public -Use your breathing metronome or paced breathing app in a public place with -headphones if necessary Good options include parks libraries malls and the block you -live on If you are moving notice how you feel obliged to shorten your breaths when you -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -pass by someone If you are seated notice the same when they approach you In either -case resist the instinct and continue paced breathing Notice how you feel like other -people are judging you for being too calm and realize how ridiculous that is -Alternatively try recruiting a friend to paced breathe with you -Breathe Diaphragmatically While Speaking -Once youve become familiar with breathing diaphragmatically in public try it in conversation -This is more difficult Many of us become short of breath during social encounters especially -when public speaking used to fully inhibit my diaphragm as soon as began speaking At first -tried workarounds like taking intermittent breaks from conversation to regain my composure -But that was socially disruptive What you want is to learn to breathe deeply and -diaphragmatically while speaking This isnt easy because you must formulate what you want to -say and simultaneously focus on monitoring your breath -The best way to start is to read aloud while breathing diaphragmatically It will likely be -uncomfortable at first because we all normally speak within a very narrow tidal range The trick -to calming your speech is to prolong your speaking time and ensure that anxious gasps do not -punctuate it The following exercise will guide you through the process note that it does not -use a breath metronome -Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Speech -Sit down with a good book Take a slow full breath in and then start to read aloud Keep -reading until you have no breath left to exhale Pause as you breathe in for five to ten -seconds and then resume reading Repeat this cycle for five minutes or for as long as you -like To do this you have to stop reading out loud for several seconds during the -inhalationsdo so patiently You should find that you inhale for somewhere between five -and seconds and that you speakexhale for between six and seconds Try to keep -your voice at the same volume and pitch even when you approach the end of your -exhalation It helps to speak in a calm friendly voice If you speak loudly and deeply while -doing this activity your voice will become louder and deeper with time This exercise will -make your extemporaneous speech balanced and collected -Find your limithow long you can read without inhalingand then repeat that level of -performance over and over To determine where that limit is try reading the remainder of this -paragraph without breathing in Continue until you cannot possibly speak another word There -should be a few seconds at the end where your voice changes appreciably and it becomes very -uncomfortable to speak Your voice will begin to waver and lurch You will sound like someone -in extreme respiratory distress and it may even start to feel like you just got punched in the -chest If you work on Exercise in this manner for only a few minutes every day you will -in short order alleviate this impediment and any related discomfort -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Breathe Diaphragmatically During Exercise -Another effective way to strengthen your diaphragm is to pair diaphragmatic breathing with a -cardiovascular workout Try taking a short jog focusing on the sensations you feel when -alternating between inhalations and exhalations You are likely alternating far too quickly Try -blowing nearly all the way out and breathing nearly all the way in with each breath This can -feel uncomfortable but is extremely healthful -Ironically many people breathe shallowly while exercising because they are concerned -they will not get enough air if they breathe too deeply The sensation of elevated heart rate -makes you want to take tiny breaths Ignore the panic signals from your heart and ensure that -you breathe in and out near full capacity As long as you are breathing heavily you are getting -plenty of oxygen When you persist in an exhalation even when you feel your heart beating -hard in your chest you are restructuring your unhealthy breathing patterns and breaking -through the trauma that underlies them Dont bother using your breathing metronome during -cardio just make sure you are taking full breaths Use the next exercise to get you going -Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Jogging -Take a light jog well within your comfortable limits for cardiovascular exercise As you -run begin extending your inhalations and exhalations Focus on the effort involved in -doing so and on the accompanying sensations Instead of panting at a rate of multiple -inhalations per second try to breathe in for one to three seconds and then breathe out -for two to four seconds Once you get a feel for it use this technique for all forms of -aerobic and anaerobic exercise -Breathe Diaphragmatically While Eating -Theres one other daily activity that deserves specific attention It is surprisingly difficult to -follow a breath metronome while eating a meal Attempting it makes us aware of just how -entangled our appetitive drives are with distressed breathing The first time tried it realized -that distressed breathing had created a starving ravenous creature inside of me The activity -below offers a puzzlingly difficult challenge that should pique your interest in the benefits of -diaphragmatic breathing The last two activities do not require the use of a breath metronome -but this activity like most of the activities in this program is greatly improved by using one -Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Eating -Set your breath metronome at your preferred rate Find space by yourself and set your -meal in front of you Start paced breathing Attempt to slowly consume the entire meal -while breathing at your preset rate Notice how aspects of the biting chewing and -swallowing are frenzied Slow everything down and pay attention to how your body -responds This may be frustrating because you are accustomed to shallow shortinterval -breathing while eating After a few meals though it will start to feel normal -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -Generalizing Diaphragmatic Breathing -For many people distressed breathing is pervasive and affects every aspect of daily life -This book aims to help you develop just the opposite an ingrained habit for deep -diaphragmatic breathing that you practice every waking moment As Chapter explained -this new habit will desensitize your stress system by pairing experiences that are normally -stressful and linked to thoracic breathing with diaphragmatic breathing instead -was partially inspired to create a system based on this concept by my experiences in the -yoga studio Hatha yoga revolves around yoking various stretches and poses with calm breathing -Since developing the present program have found that this concept is not even new in the -clinical arena It is a littleknown technique called generalization of diaphragmatic breathing -Some therapists use diaphragmatic generalization to help clients associate peaceful -breathing with distressing thoughts and other activities such as standing sitting and walking -Forming those associations ensures that proper breathing predominates in most life -situations Yoking relaxed breathing to various activities in this way can be considered a form -of systematic desensitization -Systematic desensitization is a psychological method used to help people overcome -phobias and anxieties It is a popular form of exposure therapy that uses counterconditioning -a Pavlovian process developed by South African psychiatrist Joseph Wolpe The idea is simple -If the source of the persons anxiety is discovered ie spiders the person is trained in -relaxation techniques ie reappraisal breathing and muscle relaxation exercises and then -guided to use these techniques while they are exposed to increasing levels of fearinducing -stimuli They might progress from talking about spiders to looking at pictures of spiders then to -videos of spiders and finally to holding real spiders Their fear of spiders is thus brought to -extinction by gradual exposure This cognitivebehavioral therapy technique is considered one of -the most effective in clinical psychology today It is used to help people become comfortable -with all kinds of stressors including things like elevators dogs knives and public speaking -As the last three exercises have illustrated you can apply the same principle to the -simplest of behaviors If you can maintain diaphragmatic breathing while you gradually and -systematically perform actions that would normally increase your breathing rate you can -habituate to these stressors and reprogram the way your breathing system relates to them -Taking this a step further you can even desensitize yourself to your attempts at assuming -dominant or optimal postures that would normally cause you to breathe shallowly -The rest of this books exercises are intended to be performed with paced diaphragmatic -breathing guided by a breath metronome This is done to make every nonsubmissive posture a -safe and fun place to be Having spent more than ten years pairing hundreds of different -activities with diaphragmatic breathing am sharing the ones that benefited my clients and me -the most Below is the fundamental diaphragmatic breathing exercise that would like you to -combine with every other exercise and activity in the remainder of this book please note that -Exercise from Chapter can be used as an alternative to breathing with a metronome -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Breathing Exercise Paced Breathing to Combine with Exercises -Set your breathing metronome to your target breathing rate which for most people -should be at least four seconds in and six seconds out Follow the metronomes prompts -Breathe deep full breaths If you can breathe through your nose Breathe slowly -smoothly and at a steady rate Breathe assertively -Heres a way to quickly and easily get a sense of just how powerful generalized -diaphragmatic breathing can be am going to ask you to do a deep backbend without paced -breathing and then again with it Lie down on your stomach on a carpet bed or soft surface -Then use your arms to lift your torso off the ground while your legs and hips lie flat performing -a gentle upward dog pose Notice how shallow and irregular your breathing becomes when -you do a backbend Lie back down and imagine what it would take for you to improve your -upward dog Lots of time and effort right Years of yoga training Not quite -Spend five minutes practicing the paced breathing method in Exercise above Now try -the upward dog again The position should be easier to hold and less stressful to perform -Your back should feel supported and safe rather than exposed and vulnerable and you should -have a sense that you are stretching and strengthening your lower back rather than straining it -The reason this works so well is that diaphragmatic breathing affects muscles directly Chapter -will address how distressed breathing makes muscles throughout your body close down with -tension while diaphragmatic breathing makes them receptive to being toned -Every time you repeat a breathing exercise you make innumerable cellular and molecular -improvements to the function of your muscular nervous and respiratory systems These -beneficial alterations accumulate As a bonus all the mental work involved in learning to -incorporate the diaphragm into your breathing is saved to procedural memoryin other words -routinizedwhich makes diaphragmatic breathing easier in the future -Conclusion -After six months of paced breathing decided to try belly breathing again This is the activity in -which one places a hand on the chest and another on the abdomen to check for natural -movement of the stomach with breathing outlined in Activity in this chapter Before -started there was nothing could do to use my breath to raise my abdomen Only half a year -later my abdomen rose and fell on its own with every breath To get your diaphragm back in -the groove work toward the following goals -Belly breathing once youve been pace breathing for a few months every breath should -move your belly -Aim to iron out all the apneic disturbances in your breath by breathing right through -them slowly and smoothly -You want deep inhalations and exhalations that reach the very end of their range to feel -comfortable -Work toward increasing the target breathing rate you picked for yourself earlier in -this chapter -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -Your goal should be to progress to the point where you are training somewhere in the -vicinity of five breaths per minute x Once you have trained here comfortably for around a -dozen hours you will be belly breathing Spending time practicing at a much lower rate such as -x is slower than optimal for everyday breathing but amounts to a form of crosstraining -that will help strengthen you overall -To accomplish these goals as quickly and efficiently as possible recommend spending at -least minutes each day practicing paced breathing with a breath metronome That may -sound like a lot but it is easy You can do it while you watch TV In the coming chapters we will -talk a lot more about the breath and introduce four more tenets of optimal breathing -In Chapter we will return to the material from this chapter and view it from the perspective -of hyperventilation and nasal breathing In the next chapter though lets put what you have -learned about paced breathing to work and pair it with exercises intended to rehabilitate the -windows to the soul the eyes -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e The brains fear and grief circuits are tied to distressed breathing They inhibit the -diaphragm causing breathing to become rapid and shallow -e The more traumatized a mammal is the less its diaphragm moves with each breath -The animal instead recruits other muscles to power breathing and the diaphragm -atrophies -e Disuse due to stress reduces the diaphragms range of motion and causes it to -become stiff -e Most people breathe in a narrow diaphragmatic range This range narrows further as -stress increases You want to expand your diaphragms range of motion by breathing -more deeply -e To engage the diaphragm fully follow these four rules breathe deeply breathe -at long intervals breathe smoothly and breathe assertively -e Breathing slowly deeply and smoothly forces the diaphragm to contract evenly -increasing diaphragmatic strength coordination and range of motion -e It is common for people with anxiety to have inhalations that merely last one second -and exhalations that last only two seconds -e To rehabilitate our breath we should practice breathing at least three seconds in and -five seconds out x To make this your default breathing rate it helps to practice -breathing at even longer intervals Performing paced breathing at x and working -toward x will accomplish this -e Weakness in the diaphragm is apparent in the form of tiny gasps or unevenness in the -breath called apneic disturbances which are associated with the startle response -e You can iron out apneic disturbances by breathing smoothly at a slow and even rate -e Breathing assertively involves making sure that social concerns do not interfere with the -first three rules You want to breathe deeply smoothly and at long intervals while you -are socializing -e Using a breath metronome daily is essential to developing a strong diaphragmatic -breathing habit because it will allow you to train yourself to follow the four rules while -you focus on other tasks and activities -e Monitor your breathing carefully during conversations dont let it become shallow -e Your breath should be a tiny but continuous sip of air that never pauses and always -proceeds at a steady rate -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -Program Peace Paced Breathing Session Tracker -Starting Date Ending Date -You can use this page by placing a check inside each box after you complete five minutes of -paced breathing There are boxes for a total of minutes This equates to two five -minute sessions a day five times per week for weeks Once you have checked every box you -will have completed the goal outlined in Exercise and should be well on your way with -diaphragmatic retraining -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Meuret A E Ritz T Hyperventilation in panic disorder and asthma Empirical -evidence and clinical strategies International Journal Psychophysiology Lum L C -Hyperventilation syndromes in medicine and psychiatry A review Journal of the Royal -Society of Medicine -Ravinder J Crawford M Barnes V A Harden K Selfregulation of breathing -as a primary treatment for anxiety Applied Psychophysiological Biofeedback -Hamasaki H Effects of diaphragmatic breathing on health A narrative review -Medicines Basel -Lippincott W Wilkins Stedmans medical dictionary th ed Julie K Stegman -Farhi D The breathing book Good health and vitality through essential breath -work Henry Holt -Ford G T Whitelaw W A Rosenal T W Cruse P J Guenter C A Diaphragm -function after upper abdominal surgery in humans The American Review of Respiratory -Disease -McConville J F Kress J P Weaning patients from the ventilator New England -Journal of Medicine -Levine S Nguyen T Taylor N Friscia M E Budak M T Rothenberg P Zhu J -Sachdeva R Sonnad S Kaiser L R Rubinstein N A Powers S K Shrager J B -Rapid disuse atrophy of diaphragm fibers in mechanically ventilated humans New England -Journal of Medicine -Peper E Tibbetts V Effortless diaphragmatic breathing Physical Therapy -Products -Elliot Edmonson D Coherent breathing The definitive method theory and -practice Coherence Press -Olsson A The power of your breath The secret key to reshaping your looks your -body your health and your weight Anders Olsson -Gevirtz R N Schwartz M S The respiratory system in applied psychophysiology -In M S Schwartz F Andrasik Eds Biofeedback A practitioners guide rd ed pp -The Guilford Press -Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals -HazlettStevens H Craske M G Breathing retraining and diaphragmatic -breathing techniques In W T ODonohue J Fisher Eds General principles and empirically -supported techniques of cognitive behavior therapy pp John Wiley Sons -Hopper S Murray S L Ferrara L R Singleton J K Effectiveness of -diaphragmatic breathing on physiological and psychological stress in adults A quantitative -systematic review protocol JB Database of Systematic Reviews and implementation Reports -Gervitz Schwartz The respiratory system in applied psychophysiology -McGeary C A Swanholm E Gatchel R J Pain management The encyclopedia of -clinical psychology John Wiley Sons -Stromberg S E Russell M E Carlson C R Diaphragmatic breathing and its -effectiveness for the management of motion sickness Aerospace Medicine and Human -Performance -Borge C R Mengshoel A M Omenaas E Moum T Ekman Lein M P Mack U -Wahl A K Effects on guided deep breathing on breathlessness and the breathing -pattern in chronic obstructive pulmonary disease A doubleblind randomized control study -Patient Education and Counseling -Vranceanu A Gordon J R Gorman M J Safren S A Behavioral medicine -strategies in outpatient psychiatric settings In T Petersen S Sprich S Wilhelm Eds -The Massachusetts General Hospital handbook of cognitive behavioral therapy pp -Springer -van der Kolk B A Stone L West J Rhodes A Emerson D Suvak M Spinazzola -J Yoga as an adjunctive treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder A randomized -controlled trial Journal of Clinical Psychiatry e -Lichstein K L Clinical relaxation strategies WileyInterscience -Elliott S Edmonson E The new science of breath Coherent breathing for -autonomic nervous system balance health and wellbeing Coherence Press -Gervitz Schwartz The respiratory system in applied psychophysiology -Clark M E Hirschman R Effects of paced respiration on anxiety reduction ina -clinical population Biofeedback and Selfregulation -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Brown R P Berbarg P The healing power of the breath Simple techniques to -reduce stress and anxiety enhance concentration and balance your emotions Shambhala -Publications Gervitz Schwartz The respiratory system in applied psychophysiology -Bae D Matthews J J L Chen J J Mah L Increased exhalation to inhalation -ratio during breathing enhances highfrequency heart rate variability in healthy adults -Psychophysiology e -Remmers J E Gautier H Neural and mechanical mechanisms of feline purring -Respiration Physiology -Wallace A October Whispering to Rottweilers and to CEOs The New York -Times -Millan C Peltier M J Cesars way The natural everyday guide to -understanding correcting common dog problems Random House -Peper Tibbetts Effortless diaphragmatic breathing -McGlynn F Smitherman T Gothard K Comment on the status of systematic -desensitization Behavior Modification -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with -Wide Eyes -The soul fortunately has an interpreteroften an unconscious but still a faithful interpreterin the eye -Charlotte Bront -Eyes are essential for animals to perceive their surrounding environment and were among the -first organs to evolve even predating the development of gills and lungs The vast majority of -animals have eyes Even some singlecelled organisms have eyespots or patches of light -receptive proteins However mammals are one of only a few classes of animals that use their -eyes to communicate -Mammals visually inspect other animals eyes for social cues often determining where the -other animal is looking what its mental state is and whether the other animal is returning its -gaze Humans more than any other animal use the eyes to communicate intention and -emotion How you look at others and how you use your eyes affects you on a deep -psychological level By modifying the involuntary patterns of your gazing behavior in the ways -described in this chapter you can foster your sense of wellbeing improve the quality of your -relationships and ensure your social interactions are positive and empowering -This chapter focuses on four ways that subordination unconsciously impoverishes our eyes -posture squinting raising the eyebrows looking down and avoiding eye contact -All four are relatively simple to change with the application of consistent effort As you read on -youll come to understand both how these behaviors can be harmful and why it is worth -investing your time and energy in changing them -Open the Eyes Wide and Refrain from Squinting -Many mammals appraise the intent of other animals by the wideness of their eyes -Widened eyes are intense and bold communicating fearlessness Squinted eyes are defensive -and associated with either attack or submissiveness For instance you may notice your dog or -cat squinting slightly and looking at the floor after brief eye contact They do this to -demonstrate unobtrusiveness Humans squint in social situations for much the same reason -it communicates propriety However when squinting happens too frequently the muscles -take on tension Chronic squinting like shallow breathing is another example of a suboptimal -display that has the potential to reduce our standard of living -Squinting is controlled by the orbicularis oculirings of muscle technically sphincters -that encircle the eyes and open and close the eyelids Of all the muscles on the surface of the -human body the orbicularis oculi display the most conspicuous evidence of cumulative strain -This is because the skin surrounding the eye is unusually thin and easily reveals discoloration -creasing inflammation and the accumulation of fluid These conditions are caused by chronic -squinting and lead to purple rings dark circles and bags under the eyes The muscle fibers of -your orbicularis oculi have become tonically contracted maintaining a squinting posture -throughout the day without you being aware The solution to this postural eye strain is to train -yourself to widen your eyes so that they squint less frequently and to a lesser degree -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -The activity below will ask you to position yourself in front of a mirror with your eyes as -wide as possible You will realize that it is not easy to keep them wide and that your lower -eyelids become tense as your thoughts drift to other topics Thats the force of habit reasserting -itself Your eyes are accustomed to squinting by default due to the actions of lower brain -centers You may even notice that they twitch involuntarily when you think negative thoughts -Squinting acts as an anchor in the face that recruits wincing -Once you have observed the habitual tension for yourself you are ready to start changing -it Your goal is to stop overusing the orbicularis oculi muscles and instead start relying on the -underused levator palpebrae superioris instead which opens the eyes wide After completing -the exploratory activity below you should notice that your eyes look wider and friendlier for -several hours -Eye Activity Watching the Lower Lid -Sit or stand in front of a mirror with your eyes as wide open as possible Ideally you should -be able to see your entire iris and a bit of white border above and below it If you cant set -this as the goal You should notice two tendencies Your lower lid will tremble and tighten -revealing a tendency to revert to squinting Your eyebrows will raise on their own Your job -is to keep your eyes wide and your brow fully lowered and limp for five full minutes You -should notice that performing this activity is much easier when using a breath metronome -Illustration A Orbicularis oculi muscle encircles the eye and controls squinting B Eyeball in the eye socket -Eye movement is controlled by ocular muscles surrounding the eye Eye wideness is controlled by the levator -palpebrae superioris above it -A friend once said to me See these bags under my eyes never had these before spent -two years partying staying out late smoking cigarettes doing drugs and drinking They -developed abruptly And even after stopped partying so hard they never went away Most of -us have creases under our eyes and had only seen them get worse with time so assumed -that the change in my friends appearance was permanent But his comments did start me -wondering about the underlying biological reason for changes in the skin around our eyes It -took me years to realize that the problem is caused by muscular strain from excessive squinting -and years more to confirm that it is completely reversible Chapter will show you how to -massage the muscles of the eyes and forehead which is necessary to fully release the muscles -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -and erase the dark circles But this chapter will help you change how you use the muscles -surrounding your eyes during daily life which is arguably more important -At first you may feel these eye exercises are driven by vanity which is uncomfortable for -most of us but at a certain point you will realize that your real motive is inner bravery -Reducing the appearance of eye strain is merely an aesthetic side effect of widening your eyes -Far more important are the effects on emotional prosperity It is well documented that -negative emotions generally cause squinting and that positive emotions cause eyewidening -Squinting itself is never an emotionally neutral activity Squinting is the continual elicitation -of the defensive blink response which evolved to protect the eye from damage Animals squint -unconsciously when they feel the safety of their eyes is in jeopardy Imagine pushing your way -through faceheight tree branches for instance You will feel your eyes instinctively narrow -That is why most mammals squint when fighting or when they anticipate a fight erupting -Heavy squinting is a form of trauma that maintains a defensive eyelid posture and disinhibits -the blinking reflex Mammals that feel threatened blink hard and fast whereas mammals that -feel safe blink very slowly Practicing a few slow blinks will help you widen your eyes and -develop a calmer blinking pattern -Eye Exercise Slow Blinking -Blink ten times very slowly Blink another ten times as slowly as you can The calmer a -mammal is the slower it blinks However most people have no awareness of or capacity for -slow blinking until they practice it -As you might have guessed the startle response and distressed breathing both heighten -squinting They are all part of the same neurological circuit Allowing unconscious brain centers -to maintain tension in the eyelids sends messages to other threat centers in the brain -communicating that the current environment is potentially threatening to the eyes This is -ironic because in todays world our eyes are rarely threatened In the ancestral past it was -adaptive for anxiety and fear to potentiate squinting but today work and relationship stress -are practically never indicative of impending damage to the eyes -Your stress response also spikes when you widen your eyes during social situations If you -were hooked up to a machine that measured your sympathetic nervous system activity -it would spike every time you opened your eyes all the way Wide eyes give us a sensation of -showing off and that in turn makes us breathe shallowly in an attempt not to be too forward -or noticeable Exercise overrides this by asking you to pair paced breathing with widening the -eyes Performing the exercises herein will make it so that your body becomes accustomed to -having the eyes wide without breathing shallowly -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Man raising eyebrows B C Women with apparent strain in the orbicularis oculi -Eye Exercise Wide Eyes with No Facade -Do one or both of the following two things spend ten seconds gently rubbing your eyelids -and upper cheeks to stimulate blood circulation or spend ten seconds squinting tightly -Both actions will potentiate squinting -Next spend five minutes within four feet of a mirror trying to make your eyes as wide as -possible while keeping your brow relaxed Drop your social facade and just look into your -own wide eyes It is okay if you look insane or demented After a couple of minutes you may -feel you are staring into your soul You should feel comfortable looking at everyone this way -This will reset your eyes to a wider aperture and diminish your overreactive superficially -pleasing veneer Once you have the coordination you can achieve it without a mirror -Consistent practice will lead to continued improvement -Like rubbing the eyes and squinting them tightly crying also encourages squinting to linger -When most people cry they look sad their eyes become puffy and they continue to squint for -hours afterward However this is not a necessary part of crying Immediately after the next -time you cry sit in front of a mirror breathing diaphragmatically and widen your eyes for five -full minutes For the rest of the day your eyes will feel light carefree and wide instead of -compressed and miserable The reason for this is that crying actually involves deep squinting -and a full healthy contraction of the orbicularis oculi rather than the continuous partial -contraction that usually takes place This sends blood to the muscles and makes them more -responsive to efforts at widening As we will discuss in depth in later chapters one of the best -ways to get a muscle to relax is to contract it to fatigue it and then give it a chance to rest fully -This means that crying is good for you as long as you help yourself recover in a healthy -emotionally uplifting way That fits with its functional purpose Humans are the only animals -that cry and biologists have hypothesized that it might serve a communicative function that -asks for help and elicits altruistic behavior from others It has also been characterized as a -reliable signal of appeasement and vulnerability because by blurring our vision it handicaps -aggressive or defensive actions think that more than anything else crying serves to fatigue -the respiratory muscles and the facial muscles especially the ones involved in squinting and -sneering enabling them a period of respite afterward -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -Relaxing the orbicularis oculi will look and feel artificial at first A few weeks of concerted -effort combined with diaphragmatic breathing will fix this making it your new default state -When first attempted to stop squinting looked absurd appeared like a sickly drug addict -that had been startled or like an uptight person trying too hard to appear calm At times felt -my face was a leering death mask It took several weeks for the rings under my eyes and the -general sleepless appearance to fade With time the cheeks and the areas under the eyes -began to look less puffy lose their discoloration and appear healthier When you are alone -shoot for a bugeyed look Soon it will pass for normal Once it does do it in public When -you realize that your eyes remain wide open when speaking to others you know you have -gotten the hang of it Once you do going back to squinting will feel like glaring -Many military personnel and people suffering from PTSD have a tense look that is centered -around the eyes Pictures taken before and after warzone deployment illustrate this -dramatically Many martial arts instructors and students squint often have one eye more -affected than the other and have dark circles under their eyes This is because walking into a -martial arts studio without squinting sends the signal am not afraid Unfortunately this sign -of bravery is one that many people are too conscientious to allow themselves to make This is -also a case of art following life The most heinous villains in cartoons and storybooks are -portrayed with dark creases under their eyes On the other hand people who are candidly -carefree and cheerful are often portrayed as wideeyed Many children look this way naturally -and their appearance is mimicked by artists and animators trying to create an impression of -innocence angelic virtue or even naivet It usually works as in the case of many Disney -characters because what we perceive are eye muscles with no signs of cumulative strain If a -persons eyes dont advertise a history of defensive posturing we subconsciously assume that -they can negotiate the world without defensive thinking Common phrases in the vernacular -like sensitive eyes gleam in the eye sparkling eyes light in the eyes or twinkle in the -eyes describe this effect Bring the brightness back to your eyes by living with your eyes wide -all the time -wu -Eye Activity Techniques to Widen the Eyes -Open your eyes wide and keep them there Now raise your eyebrows for a fraction of -a second and widen your eyes even further in the same moment Subsequently allow -your eyebrows to relax while keeping your eyes just as wide This will help you reset -eye wideness -Gently pull down on the skin just below your eyes exposing the underside of both -eyelids to the air and open your eyes as wide as you can Hold the position for a few -seconds and then let go -Looking to the far right or left side of your visual field can help widen the eyes Hold -this sideeye posture for several seconds As you move your eyes back to the -center the eyes may go back to squinting again Dont let them It is possible that like -me you have repressed looking to one side with wide eyes due to a natural fear of -giving people the sideeye Dont be -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Practice widening your eyes while looking down You can do this while watching TV in -a reclining position from a couch armchair or bed Notice your tendency to squint -while you do this and instead make your eyes as wide as possible -Practice microsquints Start in front of the mirror with your eyes wide open Fix your -gaze on your lower lid and practice briefly making the smallest squint you can and -then releasing it Your lower lid should move less than a millimeter Repeat this -twenty times Developing this subtle control will help you build awareness of the -unconscious muscular contractions involved in squinting -Think of actors with especially wide eyes Your eyes can look just like theirs The actors -youre thinking of may not have earned their ocular posture having just fallen into it due to -favorable or lenient early environmental circumstances By following the neural reprogramming -exercises in this chapter along with the muscle massage and compression exercises in Chapter -you can earn it In fact all the exercises from Program Peace zero in on optimal microhabits -that you may not have fallen into but you can instead earn through repetition -Another aspect of the squinting problem worthy of our attention is squinting while -sleeping Many people sleep with their faces screwed up tight their teeth clenched and their -eyelids clamped together To determine whether you fall into this category start by asking -yourself this What state are my eyes in when wake up Most of us clench them shut during -the night contracting the entire ring of the orbicularis oculi from the cheeks to the eyelids This -amounts to hours and hours of lowgrade repetitive strain -To avoid nighttime muscular strain in your face you will need to close your eyes with the -upper lids rather than the lower ones This involves contracting the inner palpebral portions of -the orbicularis oculi which perform eye blinks as well as the ciliary portions which control the -rims of the eyelids To do this you need to learn how to contract those muscles and then -strengthen them with consistent practice If your upper lids are not strong enough to close the -eyes on their own the lower lids will rise to meet them introducing the strain you are trying to -avoid Most of us have weak upper lids which is why we end up squinting whenever we close -our eyes -When you squint during sleep your eyelashes are swallowed up by your lids and the skin -around the eyes will wrinkle However if you close your eyes using your upper lids your -eyelashes will be fully visible and your eye area will be smooth Every night before sleep -practice shutting your eyes very tightly using only the upper lids think of this as eyes wide -shut When you start to use your upper lids the muscles may flutter and waver because they -are weak This will subside with time Repeat the exercise until the muscles develop the tone -they need for the action to become second nature Enjoy the more relaxed sleep that results -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -Illustration Eyes closed by straining the lower lids B Eyes closed by modest contraction of the upper lids -Eye Exercise Stop Squinting in Your Sleep -Spend two minutes closing your eyes using only the upper lids Do this without squinting and -while keeping the lower lids wholly relaxed During the second minute tightly clench the -upper lids to exercise the muscles and help them develop tone Perform this exercise while -looking upward to make it harder Also spend a few seconds alternating between using the -upper lids and the lower ones to isolate and dissociate the two actions -One common problem with eyewidening exercises is dry eyes You will find that the outer -periphery of the eyeball which is normally covered when you squint feels dry when exposed to -the air This is normal and happens only because the area is not used to being uncovered Dont -let the dryness keep you from widening your eyes for prolonged periods You can use eye drops -a few times a week and then gradually transition off them Another helpful option is to use the -following simple technique to naturally stimulate your tear glands to lubricate your eyes -Eye Activity Lubricating the Eyes by Stimulating the Tear Glands -When your eyes begin to feel dry keep them open for several more seconds until you are -forced to blink Once you do close them tightly using only the upper lids Keep them closed -and wait for them to start stinging That stinging sensation is the stimulation of your -underused lacrimal glands and tear ducts It is the feeling of secreting tears Most of the time -you open your eyes when they sting ending the secretion process Instead embrace the -stinging breathe through it diaphragmatically and wait for your eyes to produce their -natural aqueous lubrication Doing this frequently will increase the natural moistness of your -eyes and allow you to widen them further -If you perform these exercises you will gradually develop the ability to keep your eyes -open wider Bright light is another hindrance The next section will address how to keep your -eyes wide even outside on a sunny day -Expose Your Eyes to More Sunlight -Most people wince and squint heavily in both direct and indirect sunlight Living most of our lives -indoors we get far less exposure to the sun than our ancestors did We have become acclimated -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -to dim environments which causes heavy squinting when we finally make it outside You may -have noticed that people with fulltime outdoor jobs such as gardeners and construction -workers often have no trouble keeping their eyes wide when standing in direct sun -The good news is that squinting in the sun is merely a habit and one that can be completely -unlearned with practice After performing the following exercises you will be able to -comfortably be outdoors with your eyes completely open The most basic exercise is to increase -your exposure try to position yourself in just the right amount of indirect sunlight to let you -bask in it wideeyed After a while youll be able to expose yourself to brighter and brighter -light without squinting -Eye Exercise WideEyed Sunlight Exposure -Go outside during the day and find a place in the shade where you can comfortably open -your eyes all the way Make sure that you arent squinting or raising or lowering your brow -Remain wideeyed for at least five minutes The next time you practice try to find a place -that is a little bit brighter -Eye Exercise Sunlight Through Closed Eyes -Allow yourself to sit or lie in the sun with the sunlight hitting your face Close your upper lids -without squinting The sun should be hitting your eyelids It should be very bright and you -should be seeing red Make sure never to look directly at the sun itself even with your eyes -closed Breathe diaphragmatically Remain in the sun for a full minute Over time practice -will allow you to tolerate more sunlight and improve the look of your eyes making them -healthier calmer and wider You might consider performing this exercise from behind a -window or car windshield to partially reduce your exposure to UV rays -Studies have shown a significant relationship between depression and diminished exposure -to sunlight The opposite is also true increased exposure to sunlight may ameliorate some -forms of depression and even common malaise Traditional forms of light therapy which use -bright artificial lights have shown great promise believe that this therapy is efficacious -because it teaches patients to become comfortable without squinting and tightening the face -in the presence of bright light Unfortunately this form of clinical therapy does not explicitly -address squinting However you can and using the sun you can do it at no cost Pairing bright -light exposure with diaphragmatic breathing while remaining wideeyed could help make you a -brighter happier person -It can be hard to maintain your new wideeyed facial posture in social situations One way -to support your practice is through the strategic use of sunglasses If the sun is making you -squint put them on If you enter a social situation in which you know you are likely to squint -put them on Then with the sunglasses on open your eyes as wide as possible This will train -you to feel comfortable keeping your eyes wide while speaking to and interacting with others -By the time you choose to take the sunglasses off your eyes will be large and peaceful -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -Refrain from Chronically Raising the Brow -The next thing to focus on is the position of your eyebrows Most of us cannot widen our eyes -without raising the brow and many people squint automatically when they let their eyebrows -relax This is because widening the eyes is not submissive while raising the eyebrows is and we -are conditioned by social experience to balance one with the other We offer submissively -raised brows as a peace offering to compensate for wide eyes The problem of course is that in -doing so we are simply trading one form of tension for another -The biological details are interesting The eyebrows are raised using a contraction of the -frontalis muscle which controls the movement of the forehead Among many mammalsand -primates especiallyit is an appeasement display while lowering the eyebrows in a frown is a -display of dominance The frown uses the procerus muscle to pull down the inner brows which -are then drawn together by the corrugator supercilii Together those two movements induce -furrows in the lower forehead -Evidence regarding the social effects of eyebrow posture is compelling The brows are -generally raised in primates low in the hierarchy and lowered in those high in the hierarchy -Raised brows correlate with the tendency to flee during disputes among human children -People rate pictures of models with lowered brows as more dominant than models with relaxed -or raised brows Monkeys seem to feel the same way Rhesus monkeys submissively avoid the -gaze of humans with lowered brows but gaze at humans with raised brows for prolonged -periods The question is Why are raised eyebrows subordinating Researcher Caroline Keating -offers one possible explanation -Some expressions characterizing the dominance encounters of nonhuman primates involve -eyebrow position Generally the brows are lowered on dominant or threatening individuals -and raised on submissive or receptive individuals Theorists have speculated on the -evolutionary origins of facial gestures Darwin believed that many expressions evolved from -serviceable associated habits or preparatory responses associated with attack defense -locomotion or changes in visual or respiratory functioning Several current theorists agree -Selective pressures apparently shaped certain elements of preparatory or supportive -responses into displays that reflected the original impetus of the behavior Thus submissive -brow raising may have evolved by originally aiding the visual scanning of animals in -threatening circumstances Because lowered brows protect the eyes from physical harm -and facilitate nearfocusing during attack perhaps this behavior evolved as a dominance -gesture by forecasting physical aggression -It is thought that our propensity to raise and lower our brows may derive from ear -movements used by our ancestors before they lost muscular control of their ears Many -specialists believe that raising the eyebrows is a throwback to the ear retraction reflex that -pulls the ears backward Ears back is a submissive display seen in most mammals In contrast -lowering the brow likely originates from ear protraction which pushes the ears forward and is -an assertive display in many mammals Like direct eye gaze ears forward communicates that -the sensory apparatus is focused on assertive or predatory action Stated simply the animal -chasing has it ears forward the animal being chased has its ears back -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Eyebrows lowered B Eyebrows raised C Cat on top with ears forward cat on the bottom with -ears back -Whether you are raising or lowering your eyebrows doing so too frequently for too long -will lead to muscular strain and psychological tension As we will discuss in Chapter the -optimal posture is neutral eyebrows and wide eyes Again this involves relaxing the frontalis -and the orbicularis oculi and lightly and infrequently contracting the eyelidwidening -levator palpebrae -Practice Frowning and Glaring to Increase Nonverbal Dominance -You should make an effort to become comfortable frowning and glaring Body language experts -agree that frowning measured by the decreased distance between the eyebrows and the -pupils is strongly associated with dominance and leadership Unfortunately many of us are -afraid to frown because frowning in a social situation involuntarily recruits the stress response -You can conquer that reaction using the next exercise -Exercise reduces eyebrow raising and increases the size and tone of the frowning -muscles Someone who appears accustomed to frowning ie who does it spontaneously and -effortlessly comes across as someone who has spent a lot of time being in charge When you -start using your new frown around people dont use it to intimidate but rather to express -empathy or resolve Do it the way the king of the jungle an empress or a superhero might -do it -Eye Exercise Relaxed Frowning -Spend five minutes frowning as hard as you can while engaging in paced breathing Holding a -firm contraction in the procerus may feel very awkward and may even sting but it will -reprogram you not to be afraid to use this highly dominant display Keep your eyes wide the -rest of your face relaxed and your breaths coming in deep and long -Most of us have grown up afraid of giving someone else the evil eye so we have stricken -this contraction from our repertoire and left a glaring omission in our ability to emote using -our eyes The glare is a temporary and intense contraction of the squinting muscles Glaring is -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -considered dominant because you generally must be authoritative to get away with it Lets -not use it to threaten people Use it very briefly to demonstrate concentration conviction or -valor You might choose to do this exercise as well as the previous exercise in front of a mirror -so that you can combine them with eye contact while monitoring your face -Eye Exercise Relaxed Glaring -Spend five minutes glaring as hard as you can while engaging in paced breathing Squint your -eyes tightly so that the opening is tiny and you can barely see through your eyelashes Hold -this contraction and try to keep it from wavering or trembling As you do so you might -pretend that you are confidently leading a large group of people through a snowstorm or a -sandstorm Holding a firm contraction in the part of the orbicularis oculi that contracts the -eyelids will help you develop its strength and coordination Take a second break every few -dozen seconds so that you dont push the muscles into persistent contraction -When was in junior high school my Dad asked me Jared why do you always look timid -and afraid in your yearbook pictures Try not to make that face anymore tiger At the time -had no idea what he was talking about do now constantly raised my eyebrows and -squinted but never frowned or glared so that would appear friendly Used briefly eyebrow -raising can communicate curiosity and engagement but overused it without giving the -muscles any rest It appeared affable in the short run but caused my face to become very tense -and age rapidly in the long run Use a brief eyebrow raise as an olive branch but do not use -extended eyebrow raises that go on for more than just a few seconds Those are white flags -Look Upward -The stress that overtook me at age caused me to lose the hair on my head rapidly Ashamed -of my bald spots between the ages of and wore a hat seven days a week For years -the brim of a baseball hat blocked the sky from my view training me not to cast my eyes -upward My whole behavioral repertoire involved looking down Then when turned -shaved my head and stopped wearing hats Suddenly became aware that had developed -a behavioral blind spot for the entire space above me That revelation galvanized me to train -myself to look up -We have all learned to habitually cast our gaze downward We often do this to avoid eye -contact all the while signaling submission disinterest or fear The vast majority of us do this -customarily even when alone Most peoples nervous systems are so conditioned to looking -down that they do it even when they dream How dismal -Most of us have grown up in an environment that discourages us from looking up in the -presence of others Other peoples reactions to our upward gaze have communicated to our -unconscious brain systems that we should avoid looking up for fear of reprimand or reprisal -The subject matter that makes a person glance at the floor is very telling and provides a -window into their insecurities More than this looking down is neurologically tied to depression -and anxiety through numerous brain pathways It is another habit that stifles our soul on a -neurological level -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -To overcome this we can do two things train our nervous system to look upward -through practice and build the ocular muscles responsible for lifting the eyes The exercise -below is a great way to determine whether the muscles responsible for looking up superior -rectus have atrophied from disuse -Eye Exercise Strengthening the Muscles that Allow You to Look Up -Close your eyes and use your index fingers to press your upper eyelids and eyelashes down -pinning them against the top of your cheeks Refrain from squinting Next look straight up -for several seconds Then look up and to the left then up and to the right Keep at it for to -seconds It will likely burn and feel uncomfortable in the muscles around your eyes If it -does then you know they have atrophied and can be strengthened by repeating this -exercise Simply repeating the exercise on five different days should vastly reduce any -burning and help tone these muscles -used to look at the floor unconditionally when speaking would look at the ground -around my feet during most conversations Somehow didnt understand that this was a -primary reason couldnt keep a conversation going Try to stop looking down when you talk to -people People who are more severely affected can start looking at waist height then shoulder -height and so on Work toward being able to keep your gaze up around the height of your -head Once that starts to feel comfortable work on looking up during conversations above the -shared eye line -It is generally discourteous to look directly above another persons head so look off to one -side As you look up during the conversation you might be concerned that the other person will -become puzzled or suspicious of this If you are not accustomed to looking up are not used to -breathing deeply when doing it or if your ocular muscles are weak the other person will likely be -able to tell that it is unnatural for you Again the only way for it to look natural is for you to practice -People look up for many different reasons With the head facing down it can be coy and -suggestive With the head neutral or facing up it can communicate boredom Looking up when -someone walks into a room can be interpreted as a sign of disdain or disregard This is why -people roll their eyes Eye rolling is a nonverbal statement of superiority exclaiming That is -beneath me You dont want to adopt an upward gaze with these as your motives Some -people look up when they are thinking Others do it to recall something from memory Use -these as motives Pretend that you are using the ceiling or sky as a canvas for your imagination -to paint pictures of the topic of conversation Looking up appears natural to others when you -use the upper visual field to imagine things in the minds eye Encourage others to do it -with you -Eye Exercise Looking Up While Talking -Simulate a conversation or have an actual phone conversation while looking upward As you -listen and speak make certain your gaze does not drop below your eye line Keep your eyes -wide and your eyebrows relaxed Become aware of your tendency to look down Instead -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -alternate between looking at things around the same level as your eyes and things that are -higher than them -There will be ample opportunities to practice during daily life When you are standing at -the register ordering fast food look up at the menu on the wall calmly with wide eyes even if -the cashier is looking directly at you Feel comfortable doing this while in line before you order -or even after As you pass a stranger on the street feel comfortable looking up While you do -so keep your head up too Gaze at the buildings signs telephone wires and clouds If you -need to remind yourself that looking up is your right Your eyes are yours to use as you wish -As an added benefit looking up naturally widens your eyes by engaging the levator palpebrae -superioris muscles -Eye Activity Take a Walk with Wide Eyes and an Upward Gaze -Take a walk around your block with your eyes all the way open Try to look at the ground as -little as possible Then walk around the block again this time without looking below the -horizon Do it a third time now without looking below your eye line It may help to focus -your gaze on roofs streetlights or treetops Finally try walking around the block with your -nose high in the airthat will compete with and override your tendency to point it at the -floor Notice how all of this feels especially in your face neck and shoulders See whether -you can replicate that feeling in daily life -Improve Your Eye Contact Skills by Looking at Your Eyes in the Mirror -When first started trying to make concerted eye contact with myself in a mirror it was -uncomfortable It became apparent that eye contact with others was awkward for me because -eye contact with myself was awkward After spending time holding my own gaze realized that -instead of looking myself directly in the iris or pupil usually looked around the eyes rather -than directly at them Then found that was doing the same thing when made eye contact -with others Sometimes looked at a persons cheeks nose mouth or ear other times off into -the space to the side of their head felt astounded when realized that virtually never looked -anyone straight in the eye -The most interesting thing about this is what would happen if tried to sustain eye contact -with myself in the mirror could only look into my iris for a mere second or two before my eyes -would flinch or dart away This was caused by reflexive startle and was therefore unconscious -and hard to resist It happened because my brain areas devoted to controlling eye movement -such as the frontal eye fields and the superior colliculi were not acclimatized to continual eye -contact My eyes were retreating out of fear -Everyones eyes autonomously flinch away from eye contact to different extents They do -so more when stress levels are high and the extent to which they do it is another marker of -social rank Some of our worst social experiences when threats forced us to avert our gaze -have traumatized the unconscious motor systems that control the eyes We should all try -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -to break this neurological reflex to glance away from eye contact because it stunts our -social growth -Do you make direct and sustained eye contact with the characters on television If not -then you probably have an aversion to making eye contact as did Make a concerted effort to -always look the characters onscreen straight in the eye Many of us must force ourselves to -start taking simple steps toward building up a tolerance for eye contact which will help you -develop a preference for it -Illustration A Gorilla with wide eyes B A boy squinting and crying C Woman looking up and smiling -The best way to desensitize yourself to eye contact is to spend prolonged periods looking -into your own eyes in a mirror Notice and resist the impulse to glance away You will achieve -results quickly After pairing the exercise below with diaphragmatic breathing for one week -five minutes a day you should be able to make unwavering eye contact with yourself and feel -calm while doing it After practicing it for a few weeks you can do this with anyone Now only -look away when choose to also have a different relationship with myself now Not only do -feel more confident but also feel more trustworthy -Eye Exercise Making Eye Contact with Yourself -Sit in front of a mirror and make eye contact with yourself for five minutes Look straight into -your irises or pupils Do not raise your eyebrows and keep your eyes wide open Start at a -typical conversational distance one to four feet from the mirror itself Later try it from other -distances from one inch to feet Try to maintain a tranquil and confident expression and -breathe long deep breaths guided by a breath metronome Ensure that you maintain -steadfast contact with your irises throughout each smooth inhalation and exhalation -thought that one of my eyes was smaller than the other but this exercise proved to me that -was merely squinting my left eye harder and within a few sessions this asymmetry was -healed After you have practiced this alone several times try maintaining eye contact in this -way with a friend -One of the best times to practice is right after you wake up when the tension in the -muscles surrounding your eyes is most apparent Performing the above eyecontact exercise in -the morning will help you settle your eye posture into a positive healthy mode early in the day -making it easier to keep your eyes wide throughout the day You might also want to try it right -before meeting someone on whom you want to make a good impression Breathing usually -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -becomes shallow during eye contact If you can breathe diaphragmatically during sustained eye -contact with yourself you will be able to do it with other people This is because most of the -subcortical circuits involved dont know the difference between looking yourself in the eye in a -mirror and looking someone else in the eye People will be surprised by how easy it is for you to -sustain wideeyed eye contact and impute saintlike qualities to you -Make Your Assertive Eye Contact Friendly -Socially dominant wolves stare freely and casually at their packmates but those packmates -never stare at the dominant animal The same is true with monkeys Momentary eye contact -with a dominant individual causes them to perform a submission gesture as an apology These -patterns also pertain to apes For example chimps avoid eye contact during confrontations and -physical struggles and subordinate chimps make much less eye contact when they are around -their dominant peers Chimps may charge at an individual from another group if it makes eye -contact Staring between unfamiliar apes is often interpreted as a threat signal Even an -unfamiliar human staring at a primate often elicits an attack response However chimpanzees -and gorillas from the same group frequently share gazes and use their eyes for communication -much like us Familiar chimps that are similar in rank make concerted eye contact under -normal conditions especially when making up after a fight -Of course eye contact behavior among humans is far more variable than among primates -with sizeable cultural differences in the frequency and significance of different ocular -behaviors In many cultures direct and prolonged eye contact is seen as a challenge or a test of -nerves so everyday eye contact tends to be brief In America averting the eyes is interpreted -as a lack of confidence certainty or truthfulness while sustained eye contact is taken to -indicate sincere interest forthrightness and attentiveness In the American context people -who make more eye contact are seen as more competent likable and trustworthy overall In -general the longer eye contact is maintained the greater the intimacy levels Positive feelings -toward another person generally increase as the length and frequency of a mutual gaze -increase This instinct seems to be built into us We are born expecting and craving eye -contact Infants prefer to look at faces that engage them in mutual eye contact and cry less -when exposed to them -As a child made minimal eye contact with my parents teachers and classmates didnt -want to challenge anyone didnt want to make any waves and usually just wanted to be left -alone so avoiding eye contact worked for me Also most of my life felt like an ugly person -and thought that by initiating eye contact was forcing someone to look at an ugly face Most -people have this worry to some degree If you do get over it Also keep in mind that refusing -eye contact can be domineering as when the alpha chimpanzee refuses to make eye contact or -even look at some of their subjects Release any unkind tendency you may have to avoid eye -contact with people you may think are ugly or beneath you -Throughout my adolescence and young adulthood paid little attention to eye contact in -general and because did not attend to it was clumsy with it The next two exercises helped -me tremendously Making more frequent eye contact has opened doors for me allowing me to -meet new people prolong conversations build rapport and prove to others that am not a -pushover On the other hand it also sometimes has the effect of making the person am talking -to feel uncomfortable giving them the lurking suspicion that my eye contact is a way to assert -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -myself That tradeoff seems to be intrinsic There is no way to avoid sometimes appearing -overbearing All we can do is work toward healthy eyecontact habits even if they sometimes -make people uncomfortable -spent years trying to figure out how to make eye contact in a way that is welcoming and -not domineering eventually concluded that eye contact comes across as affable when it -appears as if it takes no thought However it takes lots of experience for eye contact to -become genuine and uncontrived After some trial and error came across the following rules -of thumb -Make as much eye contact with others as they make with you You might want to look -away first but then when you reinstate eye contact feel secure that it is now their turn -to look away Keep in mind that rigidly keeping track of every glance takes away from -the natural flow Take turns be fair but dont sell yourself short -The more expressive you are the longer you can maintain your gaze without upsetting -the other person If you gesture with your hands raise your brow momentarily or build -a slowgrowing smile you can maintain your gaze without coming across as intense If -you can get yourself to feel trust respect or even love for others your eye contact will -become trusting respectful and loving This is perhaps the most powerful and -endearing way to make eye contact -Do not look down when you look away from the other persons eyes When you look at -the floor after making eye contact it can be taken as a sign of defeat and often -interrupts the flow of the conversation Rather than looking down try to look to the side -of the person at the eye line This will make them feel that you are listening have -remained engaged and are ready to reinstate eye contact -Look someone in the eyes and wait until their eyes meet yours to start talking If done in -a friendly manner this can motivate someone to connect with you When in a group -take the time to look each person in the eye while you talk -Many experts in nonverbal communication recommend trying to make eye contact -about of the time during a conversation Be sensitive however to how the other -person is responding to your extended eye contact They may feed off it or actively -avoid it -think it is profitable to discuss eye contact with friends and acquaintances have told -several friends have been trying to make more eye contact recently want you to be -comfortable with this How do you feel about the dynamics of our eye contact have -even gone as far as saying things like Lets work together on using more eye contact so -that we can get better at it -The following exercise combines several tactics into one larger practice to help you -develop reflexes around a healthy assertive social gaze that communicates to others your bold -eye contact is a positive form of social engagement -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -Eye Exercise WellFunctioning Eye Contact Behavior -Sit a foot or two in front of a mirror staring into your pupils Perform the following while -engaging in paced breathing -Widen and then relax your eyes every few seconds -Deftly move your gaze between your two eyes without breaking eye contact Try -to alternate from one pupil directly to the other Try doing it rapidly dozens of -times -When you blink during contact immediately reinstate eye contact without ever -looking away Try using the slow blink you worked on earlier in this chapter -Break eye contact by raising your gaze above your eye line then reestablish eye -contact -Raise your eyebrows in a friendly way then let them lower completely Do not -compensate for lowering your brown by squinting -In apes and monkeys dominant individuals stare down subordinate ones The state of -affairs is similar for humans The visual dominance ratio VDR is a concept used in psychology -to quantify eye contact behavior between people in a conversation A persons VDR is -calculated by taking the percentage of time that one spends looking into another persons eyes -while speaking and dividing that number by the percentage of time that person spends looking -into anothers eyes while listening -VDR eye contact while speaking eye contact while listening -This means that if you make about the same amount of eye contact while speaking that -you do while listening your VDR is roughly If you make more eye contact while speaking -your VDR rises above which is dominant If you make most of your eye contact while listening -and look away when you speak it drops below Usually a high VDR indicates that you think -what you have to say is important -Studies have shown that when people speak to their peers and colleagues they have an -average VDR of around When they speak to experts or highstatus individuals their VDR -drops and when they speak to people lower in status their VDR rises For example when -individuals in the military speak to someone of higher rank their VDR goes down when they -speak to someone of lower rank it goes up The same has been shown to occur in the -corporate hierarchy as well as in fraternities and sororities -The upstanding genteel strategy is to aim for a VDR of around with everyone -regardless of their status However was unable to achieve a VDR higher than because -found it extremely difficult to maintain eye contact as formulated my sentences Making eye -contact would leave me tonguetied Years of subordination made it so that just didnt have -the processing capability to do both things at once The exercise below cured this Use the -training exercise below to raise your VDR quotient -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Eye Exercise Using the Telephone in Front of a Mirror -When you speak to someone on the phone sit or stand in front of a mirror and make -constant eye contact with yourself As you listen and speak make eye contact with your -reflection in the mirror keeping your eyes wide and your eyebrows relaxed Notice your -tendency to look away while you are formulating your sentences Perfect your ability to -produce and deliver your speech while maintaining unbroken eye contact with yourself -Try to use eye contact to show the other person that you are curious about their facial -responses to the topic of conversation This will keep them engaged It has been my experience -that most people find eye contact that comes across as interested in them to be validating and -endearing Finally the last major benefit of increased positive eye contact is that you learn so -much more when you look at people than when you look away It makes you better at -processing emotions and will increase your empathy quotient -It was easy to help my cat become more comfortable with eye contact First would hold -him gently so that he was facing me in a way that allowed him to rest and be still would -position my face close to his and make eye contact with him while petting him for reassurance -While breathing calmly would look into both his eyes for just under a minute would feed -him afterward This dramatically increased the frequency at which he sought eye contact He -even began to seek it out when he wasnt hungry Like most cats his normal pattern had been -to squint look down or break eye contact when looking at me To help counteract that -fostered his ability to make sustained contact by not staring him down instead looking away -about half the time To help him stop squinting also gently massaged the orbits of his eyes -The results were noticeable quite quickly Within a few weeks he stopped squinting and -his eyes were wider all the time He now actively seeks wideeyed eye contact from everyone -That in turn seems to have increased his social intelligence This is probably because he is now -exposed to more information from peoples faces as he interacts with them watched my cat -become more personable and noticed a real increase in the strength of our bond Studies back -this up reporting that extended eye contact between a dog and its owner increases the -secretion of oxytocin a neuromodulator involved in social connection in both animals -Illustration Friends talking with eye contact B Eye iris and pupil C A couple making intimate eye contact -From kindergarten through college could not hold eye contact with my female -classmates Unbeknown to me this was likely the main reason why had so much trouble -talking to girls Most of the boys in my elementary classes had the same problem at least to -some extent There was one boy though who spent every recess with the girls They all adored -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -him and never understood why also never understood why he would idiosyncratically roll -his eyes up into his head every few minutes get it now He would roll his eyes to engage the -muscles that widen the eyes The wide eyes are part of what allowed him to keep sustained eye -contact with the girls His eyes were as wide as or wider than theirs Because he looked neither -offensive nor defensive the girls welcomed his gaze There are reciprocal relationships -between having wide eyes looking up and making eye contact If you can widen your eyes and -make looking up comfortable using the exercises above you will find that others will seek out -eye contact from you -Use Sensory Deprivation to Unmask Neurotic Activity -Most of us are afraid that fixing our gaze on anything will make us look too calm We keep our -eyes busy to make others feel comfortable Take a minute now and observe yourself looking -around You should be able to sense pressure to keep glancing neurotically This comes froma -form of anxiety in the eye motor centers that act below the level of conscious awareness The -restlessness makes it difficult for you to maintain eye contact and to fixate on anything if other -people are watching you The best way to retrain this nervous habit is to become more -comfortable anchoring your gaze without worrying about how you may appear to others while -doing it -Eye Exercise Sustained Gaze -Spend two minutes staring at a single point Notice any impulses to glance away and gently -override them You might try to keep your eyes fixated on a single feature of the wall or -ceiling or you might try to keep your gaze limited to a circumscribed region of space like a -light fixture If youre having trouble cut out a picture of a face from a magazine and tape it -to your wall or ceiling to gaze at contentedly Allow yourself to feel free to space out like a -child absorbed in a daydream Dont be concerned about looking dazed or stupefied and -dont worry if this level of ocular relaxation causes your eyes to cross for a few moments -Sensory deprivation can help uncover baseline neurotic tendencies Lets start with sight -Tracking your ocular behavior in complete darkness will make it clear how much of your eye -movement is highstrung and unnecessary The best way to do this is to wait until nighttime -turn off all the lights in your home and lie down on the floor of a closet or bathroom Do -whatever you can to make this area completely dark You may need to put up curtains or drape -some towels over the cracks Being in pitch blackness makes it easier to feel absolutely certain -that no one can see your face expressions or eye movements Think back to the way your -submissive signaling diminished when you took that walk around the block while pretending to -be invisible Complete darkness allows you an even greater degree of invisibility and anonymity -No one and nothing can be offended by how relaxed you appear because you truly are invisible -Take the opportunity to relax fully and open your eyes very wide without compunction -In absolute darkness feel like a slimy gelatinous sea slug that has been removed from all -danger can feel the squinting contraction release in the same way that the sea slug we -discussed in Chapter releases its gill The complete vacancy of visual stimulus will desensitize -you and provide your eyes with the experience they need to grow wide This phenomenon is -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -also a bit like eyestalk extension in snails When you touch a snail its eyestalks retract The eyes -invert within the eyestalks and travel down toward the head This action blinds the snail but is -an essential defensive reflex meant to protect the eyes After several seconds when the snail -starts to feel safe again the eyes slowly evert the eyestalks reach full length and the eyes pop -out at the top Use the exercises above to develop fearless wide eyes and fully extend your -eayestalks -In absolute darkness you will also be able to see phosphenes which are colored shapes -that are produced by your visual system These may take the form of dots stars lines static -circles or various other shapes This visual activity will be accentuated if you lightly rub your -eyes The phosphenes represent a type of background noise that is usually not noticeable yet -always ongoing When the lights are on phosphene activity is put to work helping you make -perceptual distinctions When the lights are off that activity hits a stumbling block amounting -to a lowlevel form of hallucination -believe these phosphenes can play a role in driving anxious thought Notice when they -flash abruptly and calm your reaction to this You may notice that they flare when you look -straight keeping you from maintaining a fixed gaze You may also notice that they burst in the -corner of your eye When they flash like this in the periphery of your vision believe they may -be reminding you to scan for potential threats that are to the side of you or behind you When -first started doing this the phosphene activity appeared sinister and frightening even saw -flashes of scenes from horror movies This all contributed strongly to the feeling of being unsafe -in the dark -This may have also been the case for my cat Niko He cried like a kitten in the dark closet -the first few times but now he will join me of his own volition Notice your reactions and try to -bring peace to your conscious and unconscious responses to the phosphene activity by pairing -the experience with diaphragmatic breathing After doing Exercise twice for five minutes -never again saw any frightful apparitions strongly recommend that you use this technique to -free the background activity of your visual system from unnecessary negativity -Eye Exercise Vision in Complete Darkness -Lie down on the floor in a pitchblack room Keep your eyes as wide as possible and observe -your eye movements Practice looking in different directions and sustaining your gaze at -different points with the eyes wide and eyebrows relaxed You will notice your eyes dart -around in the dark They will display an intense agitated tendency to move quickly on their -own without any conscious deliberation Simply observing this and practicing sustained -gazing in utter blackness will allow you to reduce the intensity Nonjudgmentally monitor the -visual activity colored phosphenes the eye movement activity and the feelings that come -from being in utter darkness Use this method to dismantle your fear of the dark -recommend buying noisereducing earmuffs to use in your dark closet With the earmuffs -on you will be able to hear the background activity of your auditory system just as darkness -reveals the background activity of your visual system For most of us background auditory -function takes the form of a ringing or buzzing in the ears which is known as tinnitus When -first heard the hissing sound amplified by the earmuffs it was very upsetting abhorred it -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -Many people feel this way which is unfortunate because some degree of tinnitus is always -there whether we are conscious of it or not found that the practice of breathing -diaphragmatically and listening to my tinnitus gradually reduced its volume and made it far less -emotionally disquieting Paced diaphragmatic breathing will quickly help you come to peace -with being alone in complete darkness with nothing but the background noise of your own -visual and auditory systems This will make it so that their default settings do not haunt you -during everyday life -Conclusion -The final exercise puts several of the routines from this chapter together into a single routine -that you can perform while watching television -Eye Exercise Watching TV Upside Down -Lie on the floor on your back with your head near the TV and your feet away from it Watch -a movie or television program upside down so that you are looking straight up at the screen -Your eyebrows should be visible but out of focus just below the bottom of the TVs border -Do not allow your brow to raise Keep your eyes wide and your face relaxed Try to maintain -constant eye contact with the characters on the television Place your breath metronome -next to the TV so that it can guide you in paced diaphragmatic breathing Remain this way for -the duration of a TV show or movie -Afterward look in a mirror You should notice that your eyes look fuller happier and calmer -Watching inverted video is also a challenge for your brains visual systems and may build -cognitive and perceptual skills -Some of these exercises may seem strange forced and almost comical Remember -though that when you perform them you are coactivating behavioral subroutines not -ordinarily coactivated together because of social constraints By pairing these with -diaphragmatic breathing you reeducate your nervous system to treat them as safe making -that combination of subroutines possible The more you do it the more probable it is to arise -spontaneously in the future and eventually become a fixed part of your personality You will -rarely have the opportunity to make prolonged eye contact looking up with wide eyes -breathing diaphragmatically in the course of everyday life To build optimal behaviors into our -repertoire we must create artificially ideal worlds in which to practice -The next chapter widens our focus Behaviors like squinting looking down and glancing -away all have muscular components to them Chapter discusses repetitive muscular strain in -detail and considers the panoply of negative effects on us This will set the context for the rest -of the book which will guide you to overcome it -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Squinting eyebrow raising looking down and gaze aversion are forms of trauma that -fracture our composure but can easily be rehabilitated -e Widening your eyes relaxing your brow looking up and practicing a fixed gaze have -many benefits and will literally change your perspective on life -e Squinting is defensive and intended to protect the eyeballs On a fundamental level it is -a sign of defensiveness or submission Deliberately widening the eyes can end excessive -squinting and is especially easy to do when breathing long deep breaths -e Raised eyebrows are analogous to the action of moving the ears backward in other -mammals This action is performed by an animal being chased so that it can hear its -attacker behind it It is submissive and so should not be strained for long periods -e Eyebrows lowered is analogous to ears forward which is the posture for an animal -chasing another This should not be strained either However becoming comfortable -lowering your eyebrows into a full frown will increase your nonverbal dominance The -same goes for glaring and the sideeye -e Looking down is submissive and doing it habitually weakens the muscles that allow us to -look up Looking upward above the horizon more often strengthens your ocular muscles -and conditions your nervous system to stop casting your gaze toward the floor -e Social trauma has caused us to become afraid of fixing our gaze on anything especially -anothers eyes -e Making prolonged eye contact with yourself in a mirror or simply gazing calmly at points -in space will train your unconscious visual control systems to be comfortable -maintaining a fixed gaze -e After making eye contact look at or near the eye line rather than below it -e Looking at characters on the TV straight in their eyes will strengthen your ability to look -real people in the eyes -e Speaking to someone on the telephone while making sustained wideeyed eye contact -with yourself in a mirror will strengthen your facetoface rapport with others -e Spending time in complete darkness while engaging in paced breathing will help you -make your visual systems default activity less chaotic and frightening Using sound -reducing earmuffs can do the same for your default auditory activity -e Watching TV upside down can reinforce looking up and eyewidening -Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes -Chapter Endnotes -Pease B Pease A The definitive book of body language Bantam Books -Lutz T Crying The natural and cultural history of tears Norton -Hasson O Emotional tears as biological signals Evolutionary Psychology -Even C Schrder C M Friedman S Rouillon F Efficacy of light therapy in -nonseasonal depression A systematic review Journal of Affective Disorders -Keating C F Human dominance signals The primate in us In S L Ellyson J F -Dovidio Eds Power dominance and nonverbal behavior pp SpringerVerlag -Keating C F Keating E G Visual scan patterns of rhesus monkeys viewing -faces Perception -Keating Human dominance signals -ChevalierSkolnikoff S Facial expression of emotion in nonhuman primates -In P Ekman Ed Darwin and facial expression A century of research in review pp -Malor Books -Trichas S Schyns B The face of leadership Perceiving leaders from facial -expression The Leadership Quarterly -Carney D R Hall J A A LeBeau L S Beliefs about the nonverbal expression of -social power Journal of Nonverbal Behavior -Tubbs S Human communication Principles and contexts th ed McGrawHill -Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great -game of life Academic Press -Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science -Gomez J C Ostensive behavior in great apes The role of eye contact In A E -Russon K A Bard S T Parker Eds Reaching into thought The minds of the great apes -pp Cambridge University Press -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Cruz W Differences in nonverbal communication styles between cultures -The LatinoAnglo perspective Leadership and Management in Engineering -Sadri H A Flammia M Intercultural communication A new approach to -international relations and global challenges Continuum International Publishing Group -Knapp M L Hall J Nonverbal communication in human interaction th ed -Cengage Learning -Knapp Hall Nonverbal communication in human interaction -Hogan K Stubbs R Cant get through barriers to communication -Pelican Publishing Company -Farroni T Csibra G Simion F Johnson MH Eye contact detection in humans -from birth Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences -Lohaus A Keller H Voelker S Relationships between eye contact maternal -sensitivity and infant crying International Journal of Behavioral Development -Van Edwards V Captivate The science of succeeding with people -Penguin Random House -Chance M R A Attention structures as the basis of primate rank orders -Man -Dovidio J F Ellyson S L Keating C F Heltman K Brown C E The -relationship of social power to visual displays of dominance between men and women -Journal of Personality and Social Psychology -Dovido at al The relationship of social power to visual displays of dominance -Nagasawa M Mitsui S En S Ohtani N Ohta M Sakuma Y Onaka T Mogi K -Kikusui T Oxytocingaze positive loop and the coevolution of humandog bonds -Science -Tehovnik E J Slocum W M Carvey C E Schiller P H Phosphene induction -and the generation of saccadic eye movements by striate cortex Journal of Neurophysiology -Baguley D McFerran D Hall D Tinnitus The Lancet -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension -and Dormancy -You translate everything whether physical or mental or spiritual into muscular tension -F M Alexander -Suppose youre interacting with an abusive boss Without realizing it you hold some part of your body still in order -to manage your behavior during the confrontation Tension in your jaw throat or shoulders keeps you from lashing -out and losing your job Tension in your hips or feet keeps you from storming out of the room Similar tensions may -arise when you deal with a relatives expectations of you or during a disagreement with a friend -Mary Bond b -This chapter discusses a form of trauma that transforms muscles on a cellular scale repetitive -strain The first half of the chapter introduces the concepts of bracing and persistent muscular -tension and explains how to recognize them in your own body The second half dives into the -social and emotional aspects of muscle tension laying out the relationships between longterm -strain pain breathing and submissiveness Exercises are offered throughout to aid you in -recovering from your bodily tension -Recognizing Excessive Muscular Tone -It can be difficult to recognize the physical sensations of muscular strain We become so -accustomed to the pain and discomfort that they become effectively imperceptible the same -way we stop noticing unpleasant smells It often takes a significant shift for us to notice how -our bodies really feel This happened to me after strained my shoulder skateboarding After -the accident a doctor prescribed me a dozen pills of meloxicam a nonsteroidal anti -inflammatory drug NSAID with analgesic effects After my first dose spent a few hours trying -to analyze the effects of the drug My muscles felt looser and this quickly put me to sleep -woke up in the middle of the night to feel my hamstrings burning intensely but they had -not been stretched or exercised recently in any unusual way It took me a few minutes to -realize that this pain was their normal baseline condition The strain had simply been unmasked -by the NSAID drug had become utterly accustomed to the fact that this tension went to bed -with me every night quickly realized that the problem was widespread My hamstrings were -chronically strained from overzealous exercise but so were my hips lower back shoulders and -neck That night as focused on gradually relaxing these body parts began to realize just how -much had been clenching them in a bizarre contorted way -This experience made me think of a lesson that my mother taught me In my twenties -developed a condition called plantar fasciitis that causes pain in the soles of the feet She -shared the method that she used to cure her plantar fasciitis saying something along these -lines Jared its a medical disorder but it comes from tension You must be curling your feet -into fists at night Right now you are unconscious of this tendency but it is possible to create -awareness Each evening before you go to bed focus on the sensations in your feet and tell -yourself that you plan to let the tension release and remain released as you sleep Dont allow -your feet to remain clenched all night had painful plantar fasciitis for a full year yet after two -nights of following her instructions meditating closely on the sensations of tension the pain in -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -my feet was gone Right there lying in bed saw the connection and realized that this same -lesson applied not only to my heels but to my hamstrings my heartache my headache -and my whole body -Tone Hypertonia and Hypotonia -Muscle tone also referred to as residual muscle tension or tonus is a continuous and passive -partial contraction found in all skeletal muscles It is often conceptualized as the muscles -resistance to passive stretching during a resting state Muscles receive continuous innervation -from the nervous system ensuring that even in rest they remain in a semiactive default state -Thus there is no complete rest in living muscle tissue -Both extensor and flexor muscles are constantly kept activated which helps us maintain -muscle readiness For instance your bicep a flexor and triceps an extensor are both always -in a state of partial contraction They complement and support each other no matter how -much you try to relax them Muscles on opposite sides of a joint contract in unison to stabilize -the joint This kind of antagonism occurs all over the body It is beneficial and necessary -Muscle tone is normal but it can become too intense under certain conditions and begin to -cause harm Excessive tone is referred to as persistent muscle tension muscle spasticity or -hypertonia Hypertonic muscles can be found in crucial places throughout our bodies and are -sources of chronic pain stiffness and premature frailty for every adult on the planet -The cause of excessive muscular tone and the accompanying pain we experience is -multifactorial Hypertonia can be exacerbated by bad habits wear and tear genetic risk factors -and injuries such as car accidents and falls However most of the preventable muscular pain -that we suffer is derived from a lowenergy injury to the tissues known as repetitive strain A -repetitive strain injury is caused by repetitious tasks or by sustained awkward positions Almost -any job profession or chore you can imagine involves monotonous contractions through which -muscles are subject to continuous or nearcontinuous strain While repetitive strain may occur -intermittently its effects build up over years resulting in chronic conditions -Longstanding instances of muscular tension develop pathways in the nervous system that -reinforce and perpetuate them Simultaneously an array of cellular changes takes place within -muscle cells themselves forcing them to contract permanently forfeiting strength and -flexibility By becoming accustomed to such burdens we force ourselves to carry them -unknowingly This is how we come to feel the weight of the world on our shoulders We are all -hauling an invisible intangible load forcing dozens of muscles throughout our body to push and -pull against absolutely nothing -Refrain from Muscular Bracing -Excessive tension in any posture is called muscular bracing and it is pervasive We brace -muscles all over our bodies every day Squinting and the raising and lowering of the brow -discussed in Chapter are also forms of bracing Mostly we brace as a reflexive response to -things that make us worried or uncomfortable Due to the false sense of security it can afford -some researchers have termed it muscular armoring Bracing is intended to prepare us to -quickly initiate offensive or defensive movements as when we protect the neck by keeping the -shoulders raised Small amounts of temporary bracing are healthy and can be helpful during -rough and tumble play contact sports falls or collisions Unnecessary bracing however -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -keeps the body on guard and rigid Thus when you need to move you are forced to -overcome your own resistance forfeiting grace and coordination -Keeping our muscles tense makes us feel in control but is a dysfunctional coping tactic -People generalize bracing from physical challenges to intellectual and social ones This is why -some experts refer to instances of bracing as neurotic holding patterns For instance we -tense during social encounters especially confrontational ones People tense their bodies -during standardized tests social gatherings and public speaking This hinders their -performance by interfering with productive efforts and by causing discomfort and autonomic -stress As we will discuss in Chapter the sensation of fear in your gut and the sensation of -having your heart in your throat are also manifestations of chronic bracing -Imagine that you are standing alone in a strange dark parking lot with nothing nearby to -grab ahold of You hear someone yell Brace yourself What pose do you strike Whatever -pose you imagined is likely one that you commonly adopt during stress and startle The muscles -responsible for this pose are the ones you brace most often and so they are likely currently in -the process of becoming locked up Explore this a little further using the first unbracing -activity below -Relaxation Activity Making a Claw -Tense all the muscles in your hand making it into a stiff claw Curl your fingers so that all -fifteen knuckles are partially bent Keeping your hand in that formation see whether you can -tense it even further Keep it tight as you open and close it five times -Now use your imagination Try to feel what would happen to your hand if you were forced to -hold it like this for a week straight It would become immobile inflamed and excruciating -Consider how often you tense your hand in daily life Has it already taken a toll Going -forward work on undoing that tension Try to notice the claw whenever it materializes and -allow it to revert to a soft lithe hand -You also want your hands to be strong so contracting their muscles firmly is necessary The -important thing is that you allow them to relax deeply after you stop using them Make a -very firm claw and then let it relax five times in a row How you respond to the discomfort -involved in the effort makes all the difference Dont allow the discomfort from the -contraction to influence you to keep bracing Rather plunge into the deeper level of -relaxation that is available after you have brought the muscles to fatigue -There are cyclical relationships between stress bracing and arthritis Some specialists -refer to forms of bracing as prearthritic postures Joints can only be braced for so many years -before they become inflamed and degenerative My mother has osteoarthritis in her hands -Some of her knuckles are larger and more deformed than others She firmly believes that the -most affected knuckles are those that she braced more during stress over decades An extreme -example is the raisedarm babas of India These are men who for spiritual reasons have -decided to always raise one arm in the air Over the years their shoulders become stiff as a -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -board and completely useless As you look over the table below think about which bracing -patterns you use -Internal Facial Postural -Tightening the Jaw Squinting the Eyes Raising the Shoulders -Constricting the Throat Raising the Eyebrows Bracing the Lower Back -Sucking the Tongue Straining the Smile Hunching the Neck -Constricting the Nasopharynx Straining the Sneer Neglecting the Glutes and Abs -Straining the Vocal Folds Pursing the Lips Bracing the Shoulder Blades -Shallow Breathing Tightening the Cheeks Clenching the Hands and Feet -Abdominal Tensing Drawing Down the Corners of Tilting the Pelvis to One Side -the Mouth -Table Common Forms of Bracing that Compromise Muscle and Cause Pain -Bracing belongs to a more general category known as dysponesis or the misdirected use of -energy in the musculoskeletal system of which unnecessary tensing of the muscles is just one -example This wasting of energy is destructive For example dentists and orthodontists make -particular note of jaw clenching teeth grinding and tongue tension because those movements -push the teeth out of their optimal alignment In Chapter we will discuss how bracing the -back pushes the spine out of alignment Muscular bracing is a factor in almost all joint disorders -and is responsible for carpal tunnel temporomandibular joint disorder tennis elbow and -countless others believe that most chronic injuries despite the fancy and distracting terms -used by physicians start with tension caused by bracing -One way a mammal remembers that it just glimpsed a predator is by crouching down and -becoming very tense We often use muscular tension to keep something in mind When need -to remember something or when there is an urgent need to do something that cannot be done -right away become tenser The specific part of my body necessary to carry out the task is -often where the tension manifests For instance will try to remind myself to write down a -thought by tensing my fingers as if were gripping a pencil Recognize when this happens to you -and try not to use tension as a mnemonic aid -We tend to be negligent of excessive increases in muscle tension even when we are -performing simple tasks We tighten muscles that are not involved in what we are doing and -then keep those muscles tight even after we finish If the action is built into your job or daily -routine you can start by improving the ergonomics of your workspace or taking more regular -breaks You can also teach yourself to selectively calm muscles that you are not actively using -for the task at hand The key is to constantly and creatively alter your body posture so that -unused muscles are engaged and overused muscles are given a break -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -Relaxation Activity Monitor Your Bracing During Teeth Brushing -The next time you brush your teeth notice the movements in your hand arm shoulder -neck face and torso Are you tensing muscles or expending energy that you dont need to -For instance you might be gripping the toothbrush too tightly flexing heavily at the elbow or -shoulder locking your jaw or craning your neck to one side Do you alter your posture and -vary the repetitive motions to give your muscles breaks Use this activity as an example that -you can extend to all your daily chores and rituals Generalize this experience to as many -other activities as possible including writing with a pen typing with a keyboard or holding a -phone tablet book remote controller or steering wheel -Microbreaks Allow Muscles the Short Rests They Need -Not all muscle tension is bad After all there is no way to exercise without tensing your -muscles But bracing is very different from healthy exercise because it does not include tiny rest -periods called microbreaks Sometimes all our muscles need is a few seconds or even just a -few fractions of a second without being held taut When the electrical activity of muscle is -tracked with electrodes these moments of downtime show up as electromyographic gaps -brief intervals during which the muscles slacken and relax They are essential -For example every step you take involves significant exertion as you push off against the -ground However as one leg takes over the other is given a break during the time it takes to swing -it forward again That respite allows the muscles to regenerate and prepare for the next step If -you didnt have this microbreak after every step walking more than a few hundred meters would -be difficult In much the same way all the muscles in your body require microbreaks -Without momentarily reverting to a relaxed baseline tone muscles cannot replenish and -unwanted processes ensue You have probably noticed the difference between fatigue caused -by sustained bracing hyperfatigue and fatigue caused by exercise that contains microbreaks -The former aches and is unpleasant while the latter is both soothing and exhilarating Indeed -the most important factor in building healthy muscle is to allow it to relax The more relaxed -your muscles are at rest the more quickly they recover from exercise This is why relaxed -muscle responds dramatically to training whereas tense muscle responds sluggishly Whenever -you are not using a muscle allow it to go limp It almost seems slothful but its not its the way -you should live your life -Intermittent breaks and rests can help you disrupt long periods of unnecessary rigidity -Naps can work wonders in this regard During sleep and especially during REM sleep changes -occur in brain signaling that cause vastly reduced muscle tone known as atonia This is one -reason why short to minute naps can be so invigorating Short naps can also restore -alertness mental performance and learning ability As you nap you are even giving your heart -a brief rest which may be why naps have been associated with reduced coronary mortality -Just remember that naps of minutes or more often lead to sleep inertia impaired alertness -and tiredness When you feel depleted after the gym after an upsetting episode or whenever -you start to feel stiff and sore set your phones timer for minutes and allow yourself a -recuperative power nap Even if you dont fall asleep just giving yourself a few minutes to lay -down during the day provides a reprieve that can be highly beneficial in the long term -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Why dont we allow ourselves the microbreaks that our bodies call for Often it is due to -social pressures Propriety and intimidation related to the status hierarchy cause us to brace -then feel guilty about relaxing Chronic submissive signaling disallows you from claiming the -microbreaks that your muscles need When at a dinner date or in a board room we dont give -our neurotic holding patterns a single second of downtime Wellcomposed people give various -muscles involved in social displays microbreaks In fact we can conceptualize composure as skill -in microbreaking Of course even our breathing muscles require microbreaks -Unbrace Your Exhalation with the Passive Exhale -Diaphragmatic bracing is the central feature of distressed breathing and a core symptom of -trauma Remember Activity in which you held your hand like a claw and kept it tight as you -opened and closed it This is exactly what you are doing with your diaphragm when stressed -This kind of bracing could be an excellent exercise for the diaphragm if it only lasted for -seconds at a time but we tend to do it for hours or days at a time Continuously overtensing -the diaphragm and other respiratory muscles reduces their strength and range of motion -resulting in rapid shallow breathing -The inbreath requires muscular contraction but the outbreath does not It is not necessary -to do any muscular work during exhalation The positive pressure of air in your lungs is enough -to create the force This effortless return of the diaphragm to its resting position is called elastic -recoil The air naturally wants to be pressed out of your lungs as it would from a deflating -balloon Unfortunately most of us keep our breathing muscles tense during exhalation and this -ensnares us in a state of fight or flight Stopping this requires awareness and practice To -perform a passive exhalation all you need to do is let your breathing go limp while you are -exhaling After a minute or two of practicing this you should actually be able to feel the -diaphragm simmer down -Relaxation Exercise Unbracing the Diaphragm While Exhaling -Perform paced breathing for five minutes Take full inhalations and when you start each -exhalation let go of the diaphragm completely Every exhalation should be a completely -passive form of freefall throughout which all the breathing musculature is relaxed Imagine -the leisurely descent of a parachute You are not doing any work at all and it should proceed -at its own pace The air should be oozing out of your nostrils on its own Once you practice -this for five minutes you should be able to tell that you were holding your diaphragm like a -tense claw during your exhalation before Allowing the diaphragm to go limp during the -exhale is extremely important for its health because just like all muscles it needs periods of -inactivity to regenerate Because you never stop breathing its only chance for such a -microbreak is during the exhalation -Imagine that for some reason you are responsible for driving a car up and down a low -grade hill over and over again For a while you keep the engine on during the descent but -since the descent lasts for a few minutes you realize that you can turn the engine off put the -car into neutral and just let it coast without having to touch the brake the accelerator or the -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -wheel This is what a passive exhalation should feel like After you finish your inhale just take -the keys out of the ignition -Your inhalation is also braced it is just much harder to notice An inhalation requires the -contraction of the diaphragm down into the gut to create the vacuum that draws air into the -lungs But this contraction is often braced beyond what is necessary like the opening of a -tightly clenched hand This bracing impedes belly breathing and pulls the air into your upper -chest If you can interrupt it during an inhalation you will feel your belly coming uncoupled -from the bottom of your rib cage The passive exhale will help you with this uncoupling As you -learn to sense your diaphragmatic tension during the exhale you can teach yourself how to -lessen the unnecessary tension occurring during the inhale Once you have done this your -breathing will become much more efficient and less labored -It is worth mentioning that aside from bracing the inhale during the exhale many of us also -brace the exhale during the inhale This is when we keep the thoracic muscles responsible for -exhalation clenched while breathing in This is also completely unnecessary Spend some time -trying to notice these effects in your own breathing -After performing the passive exhalation for a few days a sense of irritation in your chest -will dissipate When this discomfort and inflammation is totally gone you will feel a profound -sense of relief The passive exhalation is so important that consider it the fifth tenet of optimal -breathing Expect it to increase the benefits you get from paced breathing The passive exhale is -such a fundamental routine that it is actually a reflexive response that all mammals use after a -stressor has come and gone Can you guess what it is -Once a stressful episode has resolved all species of mammal exhibit deep spontaneous -breaths They inhale very deeply so that they can then exhale passively to reset and restore -equilibrium in their autonomic nervous system We know this as sighing Even mice sigh and -believe that like us they do it to provide the diaphragm with a microbreak However if you -provide your diaphragm with a microbreak during every exhalation you wont feel the need to -sigh anymore The trick is to learn to exhale limply even after a shallow inhalation Sighing is -very frequent in people diagnosed with panic disorders used to sigh constantly but after -diaphragmatic retraining rarely catch myself doing it anymore Master the passive exhalation -because it is highly detraumatizing -Persistent Muscle Tension Creates Trigger Points -Excessive muscle tension and the absence of microbreaks eventually produce knots that can -be felt under your skin They occur all over the body They are often palpable raised nodules -tender to the touch producing a dull aching pain when pressed firmly In the medical -literature these knots are referred to as trigger points trigger sites or spasms and they cause -reductions in muscle mass flexibility strength and endurance They are hyperirritated spots -in taut bands of skeletal muscle fibers created by chronic muscle overload They usually involve -a local contraction in a small number of muscle fibers within a larger muscle bundle -Many scientists refer to these knots as myofascial trigger points The myo is derived -from the Greek word for muscle while fascial refers to the tough outer lining that keeps -muscles in place fascia is a type of connective tissue that forms a continuous scaffold around -all the muscles and tendons in the body Myofascial trigger points are small patches of muscle -and fascia that pull together in an isolated spasm They are different from wholemuscle -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -spasms like a charley horse or cramp which are more transient have a sudden onset and -involve hard contraction of the entire muscle Although they can contribute to cramping trigger -points are different in that they are longlasting have a gradual onset and involve partial -contractions in small portions of the muscle -In addition to their immediate detrimental effects on muscle function trigger points often -cluster together and pull on tendons and ligaments causing joint problems and deep pain -The tension they cause at joints can result in clicking popping and grating sounds Over time -they can contribute to bone spurs pinched nerves and arthritis Trigger points can be seen in -greatly magnified pictures of muscle tissue like the one below They look like bunchedup -distortions in a weblike matrix -connective tissue -Figure Knot of partially contracted sarcomeres in the muscle fiber from the leg of a dog at x magnification -Compare with the normal sarcomeres above and below it This knot looks like an active contraction but has no -electrical EMG activity and is thus stuck in partial contraction Reprinted with permission from Simons and -Stolov -Dr Janet G Travell MD is generally recognized as the leading pioneer in -trigger point diagnosis and treatment It has been said that she singlehandedly created this -branch of medicine Travell who was the White House physician during the Kennedy and -Johnson administrations emphasized that trigger points are demoralizing and devastating to -quality of life She called them the scourge of mankind Advancedstage trigger points are the -worst They usually present in clusters are the most painful and involve highly warped muscle -fibers with large numbers of molecular aberrations In reality most people are practically -covered in trigger points from old injuries bad posture poor workout techniques and bracing -Muscle Tension Develops at the Molecular Level -To better understand trigger points we need a little more background on muscles themselves -Muscles are composed of fibers which are themselves made of smaller fibers The thinnest of -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -those hold sarcomeres in which contraction takes place A sarcomere is a microscopic structure -built from two kinds of filamentlike molecules actin and myosin Actin and myosin form -interdigitating strands that can be activated When active they move past each other quickly -creating contractile force -Fascicle Fiber Myofibril all -I -Ui -ml a a -illustration A Muscle made of fibers containing sarcomeres B Microscopic view of contracted sarcomeres in -a muscle myofibril An actual trigger point may contain dozens of these tiny knots -Millions of sarcomeres must contract to perform even the smallest movement After they -contract the sarcomeres relax when their actin and myosin strands are uncoupled from each -other and pull apart In healthy muscle actin and myosin wait patiently in a relaxed decoupled -state until an impulse from the nervous system tells them to pull past each other again In -unhealthy muscle they are stuck Many specialists believe that trigger points start to form -when overuse causes actin and myosin to become fixed in an interlocked position This -interlocking puts the muscle into a static state of contracture in which the strands no longer -separate and relax -Relaxation Actin -ele ACTIN -Contraction -Illustration A Relaxed sarcomere on top and a contracted sarcomere on the bottom with actin and myosin -visible B Myosin curls like a finger pulling on actin and allowing them to slide past each other to create muscular -movement C Human neck and shoulders covered with clusters of trigger points -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Trigger points originate from a few different sources sustained lowlevel contraction -sudden muscle overload eccentric contraction when a muscle stretches and contracts -simultaneously and gross trauma or injury to the muscle Regardless of the cause trigger -points slow blood flow to the muscle and cause oxygen deprivation at the affected site -The reduced blood flow then causes sarcomeres to contract further constricting the -surrounding capillaries Capillaries normally supply the muscle with blood so when they -constrict it leads to reduced circulation or ischemia that impairs many cellular processes -Without blood flow chemical waste products from muscular activity start to accumulate -Eventually the waste stimulates pain receptors in nearby nerve endings sending pain signals to -the brain Active trigger points demonstrate an unusual biochemical mix not seen in healthy -tissue It is an acidic milieu containing increased levels of proinflammatory contractile and -paincausing substances And remember we draw our very breaths with muscles that are -affected by these symptoms -Muscle Shortening and Scar Tissue -A muscle can change its resting length to adapt to the length at which it is habitually used or -positioned Muscles usually become shorter due to prolonged contracture This is known as -adaptive muscle shortening and places the muscle in a state of partial contraction It is another -pervasive clinical finding that affects every person who has ever lived -People confined to long periods of sitting exhibit debilitating shortening of the lower back -and hip muscles especially the hip flexors Similarly wearing highheeled shoes causes -prolonged plantar flexion of the foot which results in adaptive shortening of the soleus -muscles Constant squinting shortens the muscle fibers of the orbicularis oculi narrowing the -eyes Straining the sneer causes the muscles that lift the top lip to shrink making the face -appear hideous When the muscles in your knees and ankles shorten they leave you vulnerable -to sprains and tears Holding a hunched neck posture leads to shortening of the -sternocleidomastoid and other muscles in the front of the neck making it very difficult to stop -hunching because the decreased length of these muscles pulls the head down As Chapter -will explain bracing the muscles surrounding the genitals may play a role in sexual dysfunction -There are examples of adaptive muscle shortening in muscles all over our bodies -The pressure from prolonged contracture pulls on tendons straining them and distressing -the joints when they move Next ligaments and joint capsules retract These changes perturb -nerve endings within the muscles and joints causing deepseated pain Muscle shortening also -increases wear and tear contributing to inflammatory and degenerative changes such as -tendonitis fasciitis bursitis and osteoarthritis Many different tissue types are damaged by -strain including articular cartilages connective tissues tendons fascia menisci ligaments and -spinal disks -Adaptive muscle shortening can be made worse by the accumulation of scar tissue Scar -tissue is a very tough inflexible fibrous material that binds itself to strained muscle fibers -attempting to draw the damaged fibers together The result is a bulky mass of stiff tissue -surrounding the site In some cases it is possible to feel and even see this mass under the skin -When scar tissue adheres to muscle fibers it prevents them from sliding back and forth -properly limiting the flexibility of a muscle or joint -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -Scar tissue tends to shrink and deform the surrounding tissues diminishing strength and -making the body feel heavy It tends to adhere to nerve cells leading to chronic pain Existing -research has found that scar tissue is weaker less elastic more prone to future reinjury and -up to times more painsensitive than normal healthy tissue This results in chronic pain -that under most circumstances lasts a lifetime In people who brace the most these effects -create visibly apparent postural distortions -Excessive Tension is Debilitating and Constrains Your Physique -Muscles encumbered by trigger points and adaptive shortening can be conceptualized as -dormant muscles This is so because they are difficult to recruit dont move with the rest of the -body and are starved of blood Dormant muscles cannot recover adequately after a workout -and are resistant to growth and strengthening because they can never fully relax and thus can -never fully heal As long as they are under constant selfimposed strain they will continue to -grow harder more fragile and decrepit Scrunchedup muscles crumple your body and cause it -to buckle under every movement -Pregnancy itself does not necessarily adversely affect a womans physique Rather it is the -months of prolonged bracing absence of postural variety and limited range of motion that can -accompany the later stages of pregnancy for some women that have prominent longlasting -effects Moreover although some of the natural variation in physique between humans is due -to exercise genetics and exposure to testosterone much of it can be attributed to differences -in dormant muscle that arose due to bracing during stress -You have significant untapped reservoirs of muscle in your body that correspond to areas -you brace and have been bracing for decades For example think about the hunch you probably -have in your neck Starting at birth you had a natural tendency to straighten the cervical -vertebrae in your neck stacking them in a straight line That straightnecked upright posture is -optimal But social pressures can affect how we carry our heads and necks the less safe stable -or welcoming your childhood environment was the more you were conditioned to hunch over -communicating modesty or submission The standard submissive neck posture is to stoop over -jut your chin out and tilt your head back All of those changes reduce your height and help you -appear guarded But they also introduce a slant in your neck which is an inefficient way of -stacking vertebrae against the force of gravity The excessive tension that develops leads to the -proliferation of trigger points and those in turn cause muscle dormancy in your neck -shoulders and chest and from there on down the spine -Chapter will detail exactly how to reclaim your neck and regain its flexibility and full -range of motion But the neck is just one example of a reservoir of muscle that has been -suppressed that you can tap into These reservoirs can be found all over our bodies Take your -clothes off and look in the mirror Any body parts that dont appear nubile and supple have -great potential If all of our muscles were brought completely out of dormancy we would have -the physiques if not bulk of elite athletes -Injuries Lead to Muscular Bracing -Injuries contribute to and interact with bracing After getting hurt individuals often try to avoid -experiencing pain by tensing the area surrounding the site of injury When someone sprains -their ankle they unintentionally contract many muscles in the ankle setting it in a fixed -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -defensive position This is intended to protect the injury In fact it is known as splinting -because it acts as a splint to immobilize the joint Unfortunately it also deprives the muscles of -the rest oxygen and nutrients they need to heal As a result splinting worsens the pain in the -long term by overtaxing the muscles involved This happens partly because we tend to breathe -extremely shallowly whenever we injure ourselves because as you know shallow breathing -causes bracing This is why whenever experience an injury pull out my breath metronome -immediately -Injuries almost always result in some form of persistent muscle tension Even major -medical procedures can contribute atrogenic pain is a term referring to pain caused by -medical treatment and is especially common with the use of braces slings casts and surgeries -Immobilizing a broken forearm with a cast can easily lead to frozen shoulder syndrome in -which a group of deltoid muscles is barred from moving through its normal range of motion as -tension gradually mounts -had a melanoma removed from my shoulder blade in my midteens and recently found -that have a series of muscular knots under the scar from bracing the area My brother -received a large shot in the quadriceps during his appendectomy years ago and he says the -same area troubles him often Think conscientiously about past injuries medical procedures -and other forms of trauma identifying how they might be causing you to brace or tense -muscles even today -Stress and muscular tension also make us more susceptible to physical injury because tense -muscles fail and tear under excessive force whereas relaxed ones are more resilient The -muscles strained by sitting in a fixed position at a computer for eight hours a day are the most -susceptible to damage from a fall or car accident Thus injury can lead to bracing and bracing -can lead to reinjury -Tense muscle tissue can be conceptualized as an injury or as a trauma even if there was no -precipitating accident The word injury is defined as physical damage to a biological organism -The word trauma is defined as an abnormality in an organisms tissues usually caused by -injury By these definitions any form of persistent bracing and the trigger points stemming -from it are both injurious and traumatic Unfortunately once they get bad enough they can -poison us emotionally -The Link Between Tension Pain and Negative Emotion -These mountains that you are carrying you were only supposed to climb Najwa Zebian b -Physical pain is an adaptive evolved mechanism The pain from a cut or burn informs us that -our bodies are suffering damage It gives us builtin motivation to withdraw from the source of -harm and learn to avoid it in the future But what about muscular pain also known as myalgia -In contrast to physical pain myalgia has more to do with restricting movement It compels us to -refrain from specific motions that might be damaging or harmfulit tells us not to overstretch -a strained muscle not to bend a weakened joint too far It also tells us when we approach the -limits of our healthy range of motion giving us important feedback about what our bodies can -and cannot do This would have restricted aging huntergatherers from movements that had -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -proven necessary and probably also helped them save energy Due to the negative emotions -it creates however muscular pain is destructive to our wellbeing -Suffering is not abstract or conceptual It is embodied in the pain circuits of your nervous -system Nociceptive pain is pain caused by the activation of pain receptors known as -nociceptors Nociceptors respond to either thermal eg heat or cold chemical eg -inflammatory or mechanical eg crushing or tearing sources of harm They come in three -general types visceral organ superficial skin and deep somatic pain muscle Deep somatic -pain is triggered by the activation of nociceptors in ligaments tendons bones blood vessels -fascia and muscles It is dull aching and difficult to localize Strangely we become so -accustomed to it that we dont consciously notice its presence until a painkiller takes it away -Drugs like heroin and ecstasy induce intense euphoric states largely by alleviating this pain -Longterm bracing of our body parts and chakras causes deep somatic pain that poisons -our minds The toxicity is especially apparent in extreme examples such as people with chronic -pain People living with longterm pain of any kind frequently display psychological disturbances -and exhibit elevated levels of hysteria depression and hypochondriasis the neurotic triad -Chronic pain patients also generally have low selfesteem and higherthanaverage levels of -anxiety fear and anger In fact somatic pain is known to interact with psychogenic pain -which arises from social rejection defeat heartbreak and grief These two forms of pain -comingle and exacerbate one another There is no telling how much the undiagnosed chronic -pain from our muscular tension desecrates us emotionally -The experience of pain is transformed by paced breathing Try it the next time you feel -either physical or psychological pain It takes all the edge off One of the quickest and easiest -ways to create massive amounts of nondamaging pain is to submerge an arm or leg in ice -water Without paced breathing this is excruciating for the two to five minutes it takes for the -body part to go numb For me it is usually so bad that end up pulling my body part out of the -water or times before go numb The discomfort is so intense that practically involuntarily -retract my limb With paced breathing however the pain is tolerable and have no inclination -to pull it out of the ice When we allow pain to control our breathing rate we also allow it to -control our behavior -Pain signals from nerve endings in tense muscles bombard our brains throughout the day -Those signals are relayed to brain areas involved in fear and grief such as the insula the -anterior cingulate cortex and the amygdala These brain centers integrate pain input from -anatomical landmarks all around the body to help compute the appropriate level of pained -reactions stifling agitation rage dread submission and distressed breathing Thus -we become tense breathe shallowly then respond to the ensuing discomfort with more -tension This cycle is depicted relative to other concepts we have addressed thus far in the -diagram below -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -RESPIRATORY BEHAVIORAL MUSCULAR -Muscular iti -Distressed Breathing Bracing Resting Contraction Repetitive -Partial Contraction -Shallow Short Rough Tension Suboptimal Posture ae Muscle Shortening Ischemia -Unassertive Tense Submissive Displays Fain Trigger Points Scar Tissue -Gasping Sighing Persistent Muscle Tension Hypertonia Hypotonia -Stiff Diaphragm Rigid On Guard Closed Off Postural Misalignment -Disuse Atrophy Dormancy -sian THE DISTRESSED Psa -BREATHING CYCLE -Anger Anxiety Depression -eae Sympathetic Upregulation -eens Worldview Emotional Aging Advancing Morbidity -gorse ompetitiveness Rapid Heart Rate Catabolism -Negative uman Interactions Pain Detrimental Developmental Plasticity -Submissiveness Dominating -Frustration Pessimism -Chronic Defeat Negative Affect -Adrenaline Cortisol Startling -Raised Blood Pressure Inflammation -Amygdala Sensitization -Figure Distressed Breathing Cycle -We feel like the emotional pain we experience originates from the content of our -thoughts But this is backward Negative thinking is driven by the inability to take a full breath -and by preexisting pain in our muscles and related tissues These are the ultimate causes of our -persistent background unease Our thinking becomes oppositional only when it is imbued with -pain Tense muscles are leeches latched on to our souls believe that trigger points in our -faces spines and internal organs are the physical embodiment of melancholy world -weariness ennui and angst -Dont Let Your PainBody Control You -Spiritual author Eckhart Tolle has elaborated on a concept he calls the painbody According -to Tolle the painbody is the accumulation of negative life experiences that create affective -pain and discomfort Tolle discusses how it is intrinsically tied to the ego and how -environmental circumstances that assault our pride amplify the painbody and its negative -effects on our behavior He advises that people live in the present moment so that they can -recognize when the painbody shifts from being dormant to being active When it becomes -active it makes us act in desperation distorting our interpretations and judgments and causing -us to do things that we later regret believe that his assessment is correct and that a -considerable proportion of the painbody corresponds to deep somatic pain from the -cumulative effects of muscular bracing also believe that the painbody becomes active when -latent trigger points become active -Specialists traditionally categorize trigger points as either active or latent An active trigger -point is painful whereas a latent trigger point is not Latent trigger points which are far more -numerous generally cannot be felt unless deep pressure is applied Latent trigger points can be -activated by muscular strain especially after an abusive workout a sudden shock or a long car -ride Alternatively they can be activated by shallow breathing which is why facial tension -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -headaches and back pain coincide with stress Consider the unpleasantness of public speaking -for example As we stand in front of a room of people with our eyebrows raised our eyes -squinting our neck tense our shoulders elevated our stomach in knots our vocal musculature -taut and our back stiff latent trigger points in all those muscle groups become active -The resulting pain derails us undermining our presentation and diluting our message -When latent trigger points become active we become an inferior version of ourselves -The pain can also provoke us to lash out Even rats exhibit paininduced aggression If you -place two rats on a metal grid through which they receive an electric shock they will attack -each other ferociously when the shock is delivered Hundreds of similar studies suggest that -mammals have a tendency to displace aggression reallocating blame for their physical pain -toward other nearby animals -This is consistent with Tolles account He explains that the painbody is born of and -enticed by pain In his words it is a psychic parasite that wants to provoke pain in others -and then feed on the ensuing drama He says that peoples painbodies possess them -causing them to do bad things that they would never otherwise do and that they react to -the painbodies of others with either revulsion or aggression -believe that we constantly provoke one anothers painbodies and latent trigger points -to establish social hierarchy by determining who has been debilitated more by chronic stress -Do we all do this constantly Yes Are we evil for doing it No Remember competing for social -dominance is an innate system for determining which animal has priority over resources It is a -highly preferable alternative to actual violence and represents the mammalian brains -imperfect attempt at creating order A considerable step toward becoming free of this -evolutionary design flaw is to unburden yourself from the cyclic relationship between -distressed breathing bracing and pain Use Exercise to start breaking the cycle -Relaxation Exercise Desensitize Yourself to Pain -The next time you feel angry anxious lonely sad or any negative emotion try to find the -root cause of it in the form of your bodily pain Once you localize it in your body take its -power away by recognizing it for what it is Use the following concepts to help you -To overcome our painbodies we must change our relationship with pain Our aversion and -oversensitivity to discomfort are exactly what drive it When pain makes us brace or breathe -shallowly we are fighting against it and making it worse The way we bear our suffering -should be dignified Accept it with courage and grit The unease we manufacture when we -wallow in pain braces trigger points that keep us tense Instead like a warrior we need to be -tolerant and nonreactive in response to internal discomfort -The pain you feel is not you It is just an annoying buzzer going off in the background -reminding you that you have been going too hard on your body This should cause you to -ease up on your body rather than go harder Recognize the limited validity of the discomfort -and develop the ability to tune it out of your experience Disidentify from it Dont allow it to -flip your thoughts from positive to negative Dont allow it to make you attack others -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -You will find that the raw agonizing buzz of anxiety will fall away if you breathe as if you -werent in pain By breathing slowly and deeply while focusing on the subtle stinging -reverberating throughout your body you will learn to unbrace This will heal you -The Link Between Distressed Breathing and Muscular Tension -Scientists have documented that average muscle tension especially tension in trigger points -increases during transient stress Muscles will tighten up during a paper and pencil examination -or during and after watching a horror film The same is true for more chronic sources of stress -like longlasting personal or workrelated stress Stress and more specifically heightened -arousal of the sympathetic nervous system increases the risk of repetitive strain injury -especially during repetitive tasks This means that if you are stressed while sitting at the -computer for hours your body is fast at work cementing your computer posture into -your joints -Stress causes bracing via distressed breathing Numerous brain pathways connect shallow -breathing to muscle tension This is a hardwired connection that prepares mammals for -physical conflict As our breath becomes shallow we brace more in preparation for fighting -Relaxed breathing by contrast causes us to brace less and experience less pain So unbrace -your diaphragm and let your outbreaths become passive and limp -Since childhood my hands used to hurt and cramp after just a few minutes of -uninterrupted writing or drawing Since started breathing diaphragmatically however my -hands do not hurt or cramp even after an hour of pushing a pencil When do manual labor all -day with friends they all tell me the next day that their bodies are sore but notice that mine is -not This is because the way that breathe now after diaphragmatic retraining is conducive to -microbreaking As you pursue the five tenets of diaphragmatic breathing described thus far -you will find similar examples in your own life -Find Calm Through Visual Imagery -Imagine finding yourself alone on an inflatable raft following a nasty shipwreck Your mind is -racing playing out the worst possible scenarios You glance at the few remaining tins of food -realizing there is no way to know how many days you will be out on the open sea The thought -of starvation brings on a wave of panic and bodily constriction Then you hear a voice in your -head Conserve your energy or you are going to die Imagine at that second you have an -epiphany You recognize panic as an energy consumer that will only increase your caloric -requirements You realize that you needed a lifeanddeath experience to see how your familiar -neuroticism is simply a metabolic state that can be adjusted Wow you say Ive been -carrying this frenetic tension for so long but can just let it go -Picture yourself laying your head down on the plastic surface of the raft and making a -concerted effort to placate your hectic reactivity Let your body descend to an absolute -minimum of activity Your face goes lax your heart beats slowly but steadily you are breathing -just enough to get adequate oxygen and every muscle you arent currently using unwinds -You let yourself be still as the rhythm of the ocean lulls you Now this was an extreme example -but it was meant to help you see that stressing out on a survival raft is counterproductive -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -Similarly your baseline level of stress today is almost certainly out of proportion to your -immediate physical challenges -There is no need to return to that raft That was an intentionally provocative example -Instead come up with positive imaginary In mine am a man foraging on a subSaharan -savannah years ago well before humanity split apart into distinct races am moving -and working constantly but at the same time am impossibly calm cool and levelheaded -Most importantly this version of me allows every muscle in his body to go lax unless it is -needed for a particular motion With hunger and nutrition major concerns it would have been -imperative for our ancestors to conserve metabolic activity doing only what is required So this -Jared walks and talks with incredible ease His stride is fluid his face is placid and his posture is -perfect yet effortless would like to encourage you to spend some time creating similar mental -imagery that is compatible with calmness -Stress raises metabolism in the short term and activation of the sympathetic nervous -system can double our resting or basal metabolic rate But it does so only for a few hours -Over weeks and months chronic stress actually leads to a lowered metabolism and everything -that comes with it including weight gain visceral fat elevated blood pressure cardiovascular -disease diabetes and other health risks One of many reasons for this is that as you read -earlier when you start bracing a muscle it burns a lot of energy but if you keep bracing it it -shortens physically so that it doesnt have to burn energy to remain in contraction -Scientists distinguish between catabolic states in which energy is burned for movement -and anabolic states in which energy is stored and used to construct necessary molecules like -proteins The parasympathetic system uses anabolism during periods of rest to build the body -back up leading to revitalization The sympathetic system uses catabolism to burn energy for -fight or flight Catabolic breakdown that goes on too long consumes our energy stores -including important proteins leading to depletion and corrosion When we become stuck in -anxious stressed or hyperactive states catabolic pathways within our cells become overactive -and place huge unnecessary demands on our bodys other systems Stress even burns away -muscle making it harder to stay fit and lean We are lumbering cellular survival machines -burning ourselves to the ground because we are stuck in overdrive You need to let your body -relax so that you can stop burning parts of the ship -If you need a role model for this kind of calm look to those who naturally breathe with -their diaphragm toddlers have been fortunate enough to spend time babysitting my friends -children One day with an imperturbable twoyearold girl was especially transformative for me -She was so sweet and pacific that my highstrung personality seemed likely to scare her So as -we passed blocks back and forth worked on getting closer and closer to her level of wideeyed -peacefulness Now often pretend that it is my responsibility to be a calming influence on -others the way she was for me -Some people dont want to be calmer They enjoy being energetic and intense The truth of -the matter is that being energetic and being calm should be two sides of the same coin -Without the ability to dole out microbreaks exhilaration turns into exhaustion in a matter of -minutes If a person cannot balance intensity with periods of rest then they will burn out like a -sprinter running a daily marathon -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Never Be Afraid of Being Too Calm -One of the greatest barriers to relaxation is the instinct to keep alert on edge and ready to act -Some people are afraid that becoming too calm will result in tragedy It is true that increasing -the output of the stress system might indeed help you fight or take flight if your challenges are -immediate and very severe However if you dont know when the challenge will arise then you -are better off relaxing completely This is because a chronically activated sympathetic stress -system becomes a detriment in a matter of hours -For instance if you were convinced that someone or something was going to threaten your -life in the next few minutes maybe you would need to activate the sympathetic stress system -This is because it just might free up enough energy or accentuate a reaction that saves your life -However if you have no grounds for assuming that a physical threat could take your life in the -next hour then you are better off turning the stress system all the way down and allowing your -muscles and mind the rest they need to stay strong Even a mixed martial artist would benefit -from being as calm as possible up until minutes before entering the ring So stop holding your -breath stop clenching your diaphragm and allow yourself to let go of the suspense -Very few of us have lifethreatening challenges Most of the challenges we stress over are -far from life or death and do not depend on adrenaline or splitsecond timing Given our bodys -design and the nature of our modern challenges the best strategy by far is to develop a -relaxed lowenergy disposition Know that even when you are calm you can still be strong -quick and nimble Let this knowledge validate your confidence in relaxation -Relaxation Activity Stay Limp Until You Spring into Action -We tend to brace because we are preparing ourselves to spring into action We have a deep -inner fear that if we relax too much we will not be able to react in time when something bad -happens Ironically stress leads to startling trembling and excessive bracing all of which -interfere with our ability to produce effective physical responses With this in mind imagine -the scenarios below and envision your entire body remaining completely relaxed up until the -point at which you must react -You are an actor in a play waiting for your cue to come on stage -You are a professional basketball player leisurely dribbling down the court with just -three seconds before you will make a fast break toward the basket for a dunk -You watch your friend accidentally knock over a glass and you prepare to catch it in -midair -Someone is yelling at you and is about to strike at your face -You are a football player resting on the ground briefly between plays -You are sitting patiently in your bosss office waiting for them to start your annual -performance review -You are reclining with your phone on your chest The ringer is on high volume and -you are expecting an important phone call at some point in the next five minutes -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -Dont think of resting as something you have to earn and never feel guilty for taking -downtime We are animals Breaks are not a reward they are a necessity -Bracing Is Submissive -Another reason we are afraid to let go of our bracing patterns is that we use them as -submissive displays During an encounter or confrontation the less dominant individual will -brace more It is a visible proclamation that exclaims Look Im wasting energy handicapping -myself during this encounter Dont attack me Im not looking to fight When we engage in -this social paralysis we strain many muscles and drastically restrict their range of motion The -more serious the situation the stiffer we become -Submissive people adopt tight symmetric stances often pinning their arms tightly to their -sides They minimize the amount of space that their bodies occupy by collapsing themselves -inward as much as possible and then freezing in place When you brace your muscles in this -way you submissively close yourself off from the world Dominant postures on the other hand -emerge naturally when bracing is at a minimum Once you stop bracing you take up space -Dominant people appear the least stifled in their body movements Their motions are fluid and -open This is why expanding your range of expressive movement will help you convey -dominance So will asymmetry openness and repose in your body and limb positions -Relaxed physical bearing and relaxed body language are highly characteristic of dominant -primates Dominant monkeys and apes are eventempered and collected while subordinate -animals are uptight and agitated Of course none of us want to think about dominance and -status when trying to relax Still it should be reassuring to know that your unbraced and -relaxed posture is the antithesis of inferiority in primates Whether you are at a party at work -or passing time with friends and family be the most carefree laidback slackmuscled monkey -you can be -Find Calm Through Corpse Pose -Another way to confront tension is through physical relaxation techniques An indispensable -one is corpse pose or shavasana Corpse pose is a recumbent yoga pose in which you lie on -your back and focus on the total relaxation of your muscles Although the name is a little -morbid it drives home the reality that you must embrace some aspects of death to truly rest -You must retire certain defensive muscular contractions that are intended to keep you alive -While lying down in shavasana focus on retiring all the defensive contractions that you use -while upright including those that keep you from falling while walking Most people take those -contractions to bed with them every night this is a chance to let them go -Relaxation Exercise Corpse Pose -Assume corpse pose lying on your back You can lie straight or with your arms out at -degree angles and your legs spread at about degrees Try your best to completely relax -every muscle Scan your entire body for muscular tension of any kind Become a fresh -cadaver with no trace of rigor mortis Become a carcass resting in peace Become a limp pool -of flesh -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -After the first two minutes of corpse pose you will feel your neck and lower back start to -writhe Focus closely on this tendency to twist about Try to remain still Notice the -discomfort that stillness creates in your muscles and how it makes you want to squirm toss -and turn By inhibiting your tendency to squirm you quell the bracing patterns Building -comfort with complete motionlessness will greatly enhance your composure -When began practicing it found corpse pose to be a chore was so restless that trying -to lie still was stressinducing Paced breathing changed my experience completely As you -confront individual pockets of tension the long slow breaths dismiss and discharge them one -after the other A week of practicing paced breathing while in corpse pose for just five minutes -a day is profoundly transformative A hot bath can do much to reduce muscle tension and -increase blood flow so use corpse pose while soaking Epsom salts aromatherapy candles -and a breath metronome may help believe that diaphragmatic breathing and corpse pose -similarly enhance cold body therapy also known as cryotherapy in which cold air ice packs -or ice baths are used to reduce pain and tension -There are numerous muscles in our bodies that we simply do not know how to relax Our -necks and hips are full of them We toil all day without giving these muscles even a few seconds -to regenerate Use corpse pose to provide that time At least three times per day lie down -wherever you happen to be and replenish Eventually work toward a walking corpse pose -and then imagine extending that same kind of utter relaxation to all your waking movements -Find Calm Through Relaxation Training and Unbracing -As we have discussed most people are entirely unaware of the tension they carry in their -muscles even though it causes them pain One way to develop awareness is by engaging in -bidirectional control Bidirectional control or increasing and then decreasing muscle tension is -used to treat many disorders that are made worse by bracing When you find a posture that -you brace within let it go then incrementally bring it back and let it go again The more familiar -you become with specific instances of bracing the better you will be at noticing them -interrupting them and bringing them to rest -When you first find and relax a particular bracing pattern you may notice yourself -breathing more shallowly This is because bracing gives us a false sense of protection and -security and when we interrupt it we feel naked and unguarded Rebracing the area puts us -back into our comfort zone The only way to circumvent this pattern of escape and relapse is to -practice unbracing while overriding distressed breathing with paced diaphragmatic breathing -The unbracing protocol below will guide you through the process -Unbracing Protocol -Recognize a pattern of tension that you brace within It might be in the face neck -tongue eyes jaw hands arms legs back shoulders stomach etc -Spend time discovering how to brace it further and how to bring it into a full -contraction Explore the muscles range of motion and degree of freedom -Use bidirectional control to relax it tense it then relax it again Use this method to -gradually identify the most relaxed resting state that you can achieve -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -Notice that when the muscle is unbraced underlying pain and discomfort become -apparent Deep slow breathing will become more difficult than usual Focus on the -discomfort involved as you continue to breathe diaphragmatically The discomfort will -slowly subside This is what it feels like to heal trauma -Bidirectional control and the unbracing protocol can be used in conjunction with -progressive relaxation a tool developed in the early s by Edmund Jacobson In -progressive relaxation different muscle groups throughout the body are relaxed one at a time -As a therapeutic exercise it has been shown to lead to reductions in neuromuscular tension -breathing rate and sympathetic activity recommend that you search online for guided -progressive relaxation exercises and videos You might also try searching for a similar practice -called body scan Make a record of the videos that you like and practice them weekly We -need to delve into this inner space if we are to bring peace to it Below is a progressive -relaxation exercise that you can combine with the unbracing protocol above -Relaxation Exercise Progressive Relaxation for Bedtime -Lie down in bed and assume one of your typical sleeping postures Hold each of the following -forms of bracing with moderate to high intensity for seconds then let them go utterly -Release the muscles abruptly and enjoy the feeling of limpness Allow the relaxation to -develop for at least seconds -Flex or curl your feet and let go -Bending at the knees pull your heels up toward your butt to engage your hamstrings -and let go -Arch your lower back and let go -Use the muscles of your pelvic floor to pull your thighs together and let go -Tilt your hips to one side then the other and let go -Raise your shoulders and let go -Flex your biceps and let go -Tighten your hands without making fists and let go -Brace your neck in different directions and let go -Squint your eyes and let go -Press your tongue firmly against the roof of your mouth and suck and let go -Finally assume the spinal position you would be in if you were in an atrocious amount -of physical pain Hold that position and let go -Throughout the book we will build on this concept of forcing a partially contracted muscle -to contract completely and then letting it relax Chapter will detail how this can be used to -reverse all the partial contraction and pain in your body using a technique that call anti -rigidity training As discussed in that chapter this involves using physical poses that activate -underutilized joint configurations It narrows in on poses that ache and cause the joints to -crack Once you find these achy configurations in your body you will work on contracting the -muscles involved to full fatigue It feels like a good stretch but it is much more than that -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -The process of holding the contraction outside its normal range of motion encourages blood -flow unlocks trigger points and elongates muscles to their optimal length unlike anything -elseaside from massage that is -Massage Counteracts Partial Contraction and Dormant Muscle -Despite the growing recognition that muscle tension causes most common pain targeting the -trigger points that cause it is not part of mainstream medical education Physicians -psychiatrists and psychologists rarely consider muscular dysfunction despite it being a major -contributor to a wide variety of diseases and disorders The medical establishment has found -that it is more profitable to direct funding toward pharmaceuticals medical devices surgeries -and other medical procedures than toward massage and the manual compression of trigger -points This is true even though there is overwhelming support for the concept of trigger points -and the use of massage in resolving them from distinguished medical institutions such as the -American Pain Society -am generally aligned with and fond of the modern medical establishment but its neglect -of bracing repetitive strain and trigger points is unacceptable Today many experts worldwide -recognize that muscle pain may be the biggest cause of disability and loss of productivity in the -workplace Nonetheless clinicians focus on major surgery and on masking muscle pain with -drugs rather than less invasive safer and more effective solutions that are already known We -cant expect doctors to solve all of our problems We need to let the doctors off the hook and -take responsibility for our muscles into our own hands -Physically massaging trigger points with firm pressure breaks them up allowing blood and -oxygen back into the muscle Massage is thought to be the least invasive most costeffective -and safest way to reinstate circulation and reverse the selfsustaining contraction that -maintains them The next chapter will explain precisely how to perform compressive massage -on your own muscles -Trigger point massage and antirigidity are easy to do and work wonders However there is -a simple explanation for why you and everyone you know arent already using these techniques -regularly The body only allows muscle groups to open up if the person is breathing -diaphragmatically This means that these two techniques dont work nearly as well for people -who have not undergone diaphragmatic retraining However combining long breaths with -massage achy poses and contraction into the most painful muscles in my body liberated my -neck shoulders hips and lower back from a state of stinging rigidity After reading Chapters -and you will have all the knowledge you need to do this for yourself -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -Chapter Bullet Points -e Tense muscles with excessive tone burden us Their tension develops from extended -periods of uninterrupted use This prolonged use is known as repetitive strain or -persistent muscle tension -e Much of the muscle tension that we experience comes from unnecessary bracing -Bracing is largely involuntary but is avoidable because we can become aware of it -e Rest and microbreaks give strained muscles the downtime they need to regenerate -e Deprived of breaks overused muscles become ultrafatigued But given the proper -microbreaks the same muscles could have been healthy and toned -e Longterm strain changes our muscles physically leading to adaptive muscles -shortening scar tissue and the formation of trigger points -e Adaptive muscle shortening is a form of partial contraction in which a muscle can -neither rest nor contract completely The fact that the muscle is shorter can distort -posture and proper skeletal alignment -e We have partially contracted muscles in the face vocal tract spine abdomen -genitals and other areas -e Muscles that have been in partial contraction for years go dormant Dormant muscles -limit movement promote frailty and lower metabolism They are atrophied weak -inflamed surrounded by fat deposits susceptible to injury and worst of all painful -e Most people have unknowingly allowed muscles in the crux of their necks and lower -backs to become completely dormant to the point where they are immobilized and can -hardly be contracted at all If they happen to contract fully as during a fall or when -lifting something heavy it would be painful and would result in injury -e We brace our breathing muscles including the diaphragm when we are nervous This -can push them into partial contraction To unbrace the diaphragm allow your -exhalations to become passive This involves doing no work during the exhalation and -letting the breathing muscles go limp The exhalation provides a brief opportunity for all -the breathing muscles to relax and receive a microbreak -e Pain signals sent to our brain from tense muscles overwhelm our emotional lives -They cause the painbody to flare up heightening aggression ego and competition -for status -e Muscular tension is a fundamental medical and biological problem Due to its relation to -stress it is responsible for a wide range of downstream pathologies and health issues -e Several studies have shown that relaxing the muscles of the body reduces anxiety -e Distressed breathing results in muscle tension and increased bracing Chronic distressed -breathing results in copious dormant muscle -e Diaphragmatic breathing reduces excessive muscular tone allowing muscles the -microbreaks they need to regenerate This makes it so that the repetitive strains of -everyday life strengthen our muscles rather than weaken them -e Your body has learned to be tense but you can teach it to let go of the tension -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Unbracing which can be accomplished by allowing muscles to go limp is an acquired -skill that can rehabilitate your entire body when combined with diaphragmatic -breathing -Corpse pose involves lying on the back and focusing on fullbody relaxation -Progressive relaxation involves systematically scanning over the entire body tensing -muscles then completely releasing them -The most dominant primates are the least affected by bracing and brace the least during -confrontation and opposition So unbrace -Chapter Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy -Chapter Endnotes -Reser J Does rheumatoid arthritis represent an adaptive thrifty condition -Medical Hypotheses -Whatmore G B Kohli D R Dysponesis A neurophysiological factor in -functional disorders Systems Research and Behavioral Science -Rajiv D Harjyot S Good sleep bad sleep The role of daytime naps in healthy -adults Current Opinion in Internal Medicine -Androniki N Siesta in healthy adults and coronary mortality in the general -population Archives of Internal Medicine -Alvarez D J Rockwell P G Trigger points Diagnosis and management -American Family Physician -Alvarez Rockwell Trigger points -OSullivan S Physical rehabilitation FA Davis Company -Davies C The trigger point therapy workbook Your selftreatment guide for pain -relief New Harbinger -Shah J P Danoff J V Desai M J Parikh S Nakamura L Y Phillips T M Gerber -L H Biochemicals associated with pain and inflammation are elevated in sites near to -and remote from active myofascial trigger points Archives of Physical Medicine and -Rehabilitation -Reser J Does rheumatoid arthritis represent an adaptive thrifty condition -Medical Hypotheses -Wall P D Melzack R The challenge of pain Penguin Books -Bruehl S Burns J W Chung O Y Chont M Painrelated effects of trait anger -expression neural substrates and the role of endogenous opioid mechanisms Neuroscience -Biobehavioral Reviews -Eisenberger N Lieberman M D Why rejection hurts A common neural alarm -system for physical and social pain Trends in Cognitive Science -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Pluess M Conrad A Wilhelm F H Muscle tension in generalized anxiety -disorder A critical review of the literature Journal of Anxiety Disorders -Tolle E A new Earth Awakening to your lifes purpose Penguin Books -Azrin N H Rubin H B Hutchinson R R Biting attack by rats in response to -aversive shack Journal of the Experimental Analysis of Behavior -Aras A Ro O Workload when using a mouse as an input device international -Journal of HumanComputer Interaction Buckles PW Devereux J J -The nature of workrelated neck and upper limb musculoskeletal disorders Applied -Ergonomics Veiersted K Sustained muscle tension as a risk factor for -trapezius myalgia In R Nielsen K Jorgenson Eds Advances in industrial ergonomics and -safety Taylor Francis -Gevirtz R The muscle spindle trigger point model of chronic pain Biofeedback -Travell J Simons R Myofascial pain syndrome The trigger point manual -Williams Wilkins -Mehrabian A Verbal and nonverbal interactions of strangers in a waiting room -Journal of Experimental Research in Personality Reynolds V Reynolds F -Chimpanzees in the Budongo Forest In DeVore Ed Primate behavior Field studies of -monkeys and apes pp New York Holt Rinehart and Winston -Fioravanti A Cantarini L Guidelli G M Galeazzi M Mechanisms of action of -spa therapies in rheumatic diseases What scientific evidence is there Rheumatology -International -Shumay D Peper E Healthy computing A comprehensive group training -approach using biofeedback In G Salvendy M J Smith R J Koubek Eds Design of -computing systems Cognitive considerations pp Elsevier Stein C Schafer M -Machelska H Attacking pain at its source New perspectives on opioids -Nature Medicine -Ditto B Eclache M Goldman N Shortterm autonomic and cardiovascular -effects of mindfulness body scan meditation Annals of Behavioral Medicine -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -The mind which before massage is in a perturbed restless vacillating and even despondent state becomes calm -quiet peaceful and subdued after massage In fact the wearied and worried mind has been converted into a mind -restful placid and refreshed Thomas Stretch Dowse -The Power of Massage to Alleviate Tension Insanity -The benefits of massage are most apparent in cases in which muscular tension is so extreme -that it becomes debilitating Let us start with an especially vivid example from my own life It -involves a close friend who suffered psychotic episodes during which he became highly -delusional His breakdowns were so severe that he had to be hospitalized on three separate -occasions He had previously been diagnosed with schizophrenia as well as bipolar disorder -conditions that were precipitated by harmful life circumstances His mother had recently died -of cancer his father had been murdered years before he faced frequent bullying from -hardened streetwise men he had gone through a harsh breakup been homeless for months -and drank large amounts of caffeine every day -In the days leading up to hospitalization his thinking became severely deranged He would -become convinced that his friends were saints and that he was an angel responsible for -preventing a coming apocalypse Twice his state regressed to the point of catatonia which has -also been called tension insanity Catatonia is a rare form of psychomotor immobility in -which a patient holds rigid poses performs stereotyped repetitive movements and often -cannot speak -On the first occasion he was found by a mutual friend who called me to ask for help When -arrived found our buddy standing rigidly shaking with a pained expression plastered on his -face He would not sit or lie down and had been standing for two straight days He did not -respond to speech or any form of communication He squinted heavily The circles under his -eyes had become much darker than usual He made no eye contact and stared vacantly at the -floor He was normally a conscientious person but by the time arrived he was urinating and -defecating in his shorts When checked his breathing found that each breath he took lasted -about half a second and his tidal range was minimal -Most worrying of all was his physical bearing Although he was only his posture was -that of an old sick man He looked fragile and the tension in his neck and back seemed -excruciating Having lost all concern for selfpresentation he looked as if he had been standing -in a cold shower for hours All his muscles were braced recognized his tortured posture as a -direct expression of his painbody the suffering we all carry and attempt to conceal At that -point realized that if were in a catatonic state my postural deformities would similarly rise -to the surface -His catatonia made him very difficult to help There was nothing we could do to move his -rigid frame down the stairs and into the car When we tried to carry him he shook and moaned -violently and it became clear that he would need to relax if he were going to get to the -hospital So began massaging him started with his neck then moved on to his shoulders and -back His back felt crooked the curvature unnatural and deformed But we rapidly made -progress at first his spine resisted my efforts but every minute he loosened up a little more -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -and within ten minutes he was crying with relief After he was able to hobble to the car and -sit down inside it -On our way to the hospital he uttered his only full sentence of the day If calm down -will die Experts consider catatonia to be a vastly reduced state of consciousness Yet from -this state he was able to verbalize perhaps the most entrenched albeit delusional conviction -that all humans have did my best to explain to him why this was an irrational and self -defeating belief will spend the rest of this book attempting to convince you of the same -The main takeaway of this chapter is that massage can convince your body that relaxation does -not come at the risk of death -Getting to the hospital though was not the end of his struggles For that visit alone which -turned out to be just the first of three he owed more than in medical bills asked -him what the doctors did for him that cost so much and he told me that they restrained him in -a bed and gave him drugs for two weeks He wound up dependent on those drugs and had to -be weaned off them slowly and painfully It is not clear what benefit the medicines and doctors -provided other than removing him from his stressful environment Certainly they conferred no -longterm benefit -believe that a year of weekly hourlong deeptissue fullbody massages would have -largely rehabilitated him At per massage this would have cost less than If this had -been his treatment think he would have had a much better chance at real lasting recovery -If he had received worth of massage therapy this would have bought him -massages That equates to an hourlong massage every week for years If had been in -charge of his health know how would have invested the money -After reading this chapter you will know how to massage yourself for free This will -complement and reinforce the other Program Peace techniques you are using to promote your -overall health -Use Compression to Remove Trigger Points Scar Tissue and Muscle Shortening -Recent estimates indicate that around percent of the atoms in the body are replaced every -year Despite this constant remodeling the body unfortunately preserves its muscle tension -It does this because it treats tension as an essential form of memory Our organism trusts and -values the specific pattern of trauma distribution across our various limbs organs and body -parts because that pattern is a historical record telling us exactly how best to be defensive -We were preprogrammed to conserve our tension increase it as necessary and die with it -but not to reverse it -Modern medicine has no cure for muscular tension There is no pill you can take to remove -its physical manifestations Compared to many other diseases and disorders there is very little -active biomedical research on curing muscular strain Some researchers attempt to treat trigger -points with injections therapeutic ultrasound or transcutaneous electrical stimulation but -none of these have yet proven very effective think basic and preclinical research on the issue -should be given the highest priority in medicine especially because persistent muscular tension -is a contributing factor to many mental and physical diseases Molecular pharmacologists will -eventually develop a drug that completely eradicates muscular strain but it will take decades -for such a panacea to surface Our bodies and minds dont have decades -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -That leaves us with nonclinical treatment options for the time being Massage combined -with diaphragmatic breathing is by far the best therapy available and recommend starting -your practice immediately have been using physical compression for years to rouse dormant -muscles all over my body Before began was covered in muscles that were painful to -compress Applying even light pressure almost anywhere stung Now all of these spots have -become painless even when subjected to significant pressure -Massage is effective for straightforward reasons Compression forces the muscle to relax -and allows it to reset to a lower level of tone It feeds slack into the injured muscle reversing -muscle shortening and reducing mechanical deformation at the joint It breaks down trigger -points as well as deposits of calcium It accelerates venous blood drainage and lymphatic -clearance Compression breaks up adhesions between muscle fibers and disintegrates scar -tissue freeing the fibers to slide past each other again It is unclear exactly what compression -does at the level of actin and myosin the microscopic proteins discussed in the last chapter -that form the structure of individual muscle fibers Many researchers believe that it detaches -strands of actin from myosin after they have become stuck together allowing them to function -freely again -Specific conditions that are consistently and successfully treated with manual compressive -therapy include headaches back pain neck pain shoulder pain carpal tunnel syndrome shin -splints sciatica TMJ fasciitis tendonitis and many other soft tissue inflammatory disorders of -the joints Given the prevalence of those conditions and the general level of muscular tension -that most of us develop over lifetimes of bracing and social submissiveness selfapplied trigger -point massage is a necessary life skill -Focus Compression on Tender Achy Muscles -One of the most studied therapies for combatting trigger points is a form of compression called -soft tissue therapy also referred to as soft tissue mobilization or myofascial release The -practice involves pinning down and squeezing an area of muscle with hard pressure for several -seconds The idea is to press firmly into soft tissue including skin fascia periosteum and -superficially and deeply located muscles The best locations for applying pressure are the -trigger points themselves which you can detect with your fingers They often feel like a small -length of partially cooked pasta or a slender worm under the skin Most professional masseuses -describe muscles with multiple trigger points as having a crunchy or spongy quality -Muscles with trigger points are also easy to identify because they are tender to the touch -In contrast healthy muscles dont elicit a pain response under pressure Tenderness should be -your operative diagnostic criterion Concentrate your efforts on any tender mass you find -Apply pressure dig and release Use your knuckle fingertip the heel of your palm or elbow to -get in as deep as possible to break down the scar tissue and fibrous adhesions The tip side or -first knuckle of the thumb can be particularly useful You want to compress tender muscles all -over your body -You can use a tool to avoid straining your hands or to apply pressure more easily to hard -toreach areas Pictured below are the implements that use to perform compression on -myself You can find an eyebolt in any hardware store and the other tools can be found easily -online if not at your local sporting goods store Aside from my own hands the Index Knobber -shown at the far right of the picture below is my tool of choice -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Tools for compression A Thera Cane B Backknobber C Baseballs attached with drilled holes -and metal screws D Spiked massage ball E Foam therapy ball F Softballs G Squash ball H Tennis ball Yoga -Therapy Balls in sack J Three sizes of eyebolts x x x K Knobble L Jacknobber -M Index Knobber You can also place tools on the floor such as a hard water bottle rolling pin racquetball -barbell pipe or wooden dowel and push your body into them -The benefits of compression have to do with muscles need for microbreaks which we have -discussed previously The muscles that feel tender when subjected to deep compression have not -had the breaks they need to remain healthy Compression gives them a muchneeded respite -reestablishing blood flow and permitting full regeneration The muscle may feel warm afterward -as fresh blood rushes to areas that are normally neglected To send fresh blood into an area you -first need to squeeze existing blood out by performing something called ischemic compression -It is helpful to visualize the effects As you massage imagine that you are pressing into -pale pink tissue that has lost most of its blood supply Envision the muscle turning white as you -compress it and the remaining blood is squeezed out Then as you release imagine fresh red -blood flooding into the area Imagine that this redness dissipates in a few seconds but that the -muscle stays more brightly colored than it was before Of course all of that is quite literally -happening Compression creates the cellular events necessary to express the genes required to -build new blood vessels This renewed blood supply brings the muscle back to life Below is an -overview of the steps involved in the Program Peace compression routine -Compression Protocol -Breathe Use the tenets of diaphragmatic breathing throughout your massage practice -This will help ensure that your muscles remain relaxed even during discomfort If -compression becomes particularly painful take a deep breath in then breathe out -slowly through pursed lips to extend your exhalation -Pressure Find a muscle that is tender when compressed Press firmly on the muscle -with the tip of a finger knuckle or tool for between five and seconds On most areas -of the body you can apply between five and pounds of pressure To gauge this -imagine a dumbbell of a given weight resting on top Use less pressure on more painful -or delicate areas Release reposition centimeters or millimeters away and repeat -Movement Some practitioners recommend sliding a finger thumb or tool down the -length of the muscle They use deep firm strokes that move in the direction of the -muscle fibers Others recommend stroking across the muscle repeatedly like strumming -a guitar string Try to develop skill at both Either way you want to pin the skin down -and slide it over the muscle rather than slide your fingers over the skin You can also -simply press into an area of tenderness rather than stroke it If can find a taught -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -sore band of muscle will often nestle my knuckle in on one side of it and press -rhythmically for minutes at a time -Intensity On a scale of one to ten aim for a tolerable pain level of six or seven -Light massage at a pain level of two or three can also be beneficial but will take much -longer to have an effect At a six or a seven the pain you feel should be mixed with -pleasure It should hurt good but should not be enough to make you squirm brace -or breathe shallowly -Attention Once you release the muscle pay attention to how its level of bracing has -diminished You may feel insecure or exposed now that you are no longer bracing -Note the automatic tendency to either resume bracing or breathe shallowly Resist both -urges continuing to breathe deeply while keeping the area relaxed This will encourage -the muscle to reset to a lower level of tone -Follow up The next day if the muscle is bruised or hurts when contracted it is a sign -that you pushed too hard However if it is slightly sore to the touch then you made -substantial progress This soreness should disappear with just a few minutes of -additional massage After the soreness subsides wait a few hours for it to come back -and compress it again with the same degree of force Repeat this process until the -muscle no longer hurts to compress Depending on the muscles size and the severity of -the tension this could take days weeks or months -Percuss Your Tender Tense Muscles -The steady consistent pressure of compression therapy can be complemented by percussive -massage Percussive here means hitting or striking Many professional masseuses -routinely use slapping beating and pummeling which are all examples of percussive massage -This approach is similar to the tapotement technique in Swedish massage and certain shiatsu -regimens It was documented to have been used in ancient Japan when children massaged their -elders after long days bending over in the rice fields Because the childrens fingers were not -strong enough to perform a kneading motion they balled up their hands and struck the sore -muscles with their fists The Japanese term mago no te was used to describe this type of -massage which translates to grandchilds hands The protocol below details a related method -that Ill refer to as percussion -Percussion Protocol -Use a knuckle fist palm heel baseball or softball to repeatedly strike dormant -achy muscle For even deeper muscle work use a tool like the Index Knobber to strike -Use force and speed similar to what would be appropriate for conventional -clappingapplause Strike the muscle firmly and repetitively like a sewing machine or a -woodpecker Strike at a rate of roughly three to five times per second rising one to -three inches above the skin between strikes -Concentrate this pummeling action on a tender area of muscle just an inch or two in -diameter for to seconds -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -percuss my neck shoulders back arms legs knees and ankles firmly all over with -objects ranging from baseballs to knucklesized tools weekly recommend percussing your -entire body with a hard implement If you dont have any of the tools below dont hesitate to -start just using your knuckles or palm heel Using percussion is one of the fastest and least -painful ways to erode trigger points and reanimate dormant muscle -Ts -Sy -e -SiS Oe -Illustration Tools for percussion A Softball B Tennis ball C Eyebolt x D Jacknobber -E Index Knobber F Bonger G Brookstone vibrating massagers H Theragun -Vibration -strongly recommend that you spend around on a handheld vibrating massager Using it -on your neck and head should give you the chills and make your body tingle a clear sign that it -is sorely needed Use it wherever it feels good Vibration tends not to work as well on trigger -points as compression or percussion However even just one minute per day of vibratory -stimulation will alleviate bracing and increase circulation When used before bed it can -promote better sleep Also use it on tender muscles after massage Doing so can encourage -the wellworked muscles to relax further which helps the massage do its work -Delocalized Pressure -Aside from targeting small localized areas of tissue with compression and percussion it can be -therapeutic to provide firm pressure to larger areas This is a form of delocalized pressure that -compresses but also stretches many muscles at the same time This occurs when someone -presses firmly into a large area of the body Thai masseuses walk on the body to provide this -kind of relief Delocalized pressure pushes various muscle bracing pattern configurations -outside their normally restricted range which can have longlasting positive effects It will give -your joints including those in the spine more play and articulation -Massage Activity Delocalized Pressure for the Spine -Perform the following activity on a friend then have them perform it on you Have them -lie down on their stomach on a bed or the floor With your hands side by side press into -their spine with the heel of both palms for two seconds at a time Start by pressing lightly -times as you move from the top of their neck to the bottom of their sacrum Do this -again with medium firmness The person receiving the pressure should focus on how the -normal braced posture of their spine is being bowed in a different direction and thereby -freed from unnecessary rigidity Afterward they should perform ten situps to neutralize -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -any backward tension that has been created Ideally everyone should have this done to -them every night before bed -Cautions to Take with Massage -Several key pieces of advice are essential for practicing compression and percussion safely -Neither technique should ever damage tissue nor should they bruise scrape or even irritate -the skin Avoid using compression on a recent injury broken skin or broken bones -No matter the circumstances medical professionals advise against compressing the -following body parts the eye the inguinal ligament the xiphoid process the trachea the -median nerve near the carpal tunnel junction the sciatic nerve and the coccyx Also never -massage a pulse Many arteries accumulate plaque and massaging them can dislodge that -plaque and cause blood vessel occlusion Additionally avoid pressing or pinching lymph nodes -Certain illnesses can also make massage a risky activity If you have the following health -conditions consult your doctor before receiving or selfadministering massage aneurysm -atherosclerosis cancer congestive heart failure coronary artery disease peritonitis or -polycystic kidney disease Other conditions that are usually contraindicated for massage include -fever cirrhosis pitting edema blood clots deep vein thrombosis embolism fainting -uncontrolled high blood pressure intestinal obstruction lymphangitis myocarditis rheumatoid -arthritis tumors seizures and tuberculosis among others -Getting Results from SelfMassage -Applied properly the pressure of compression and percussion should involve only dull pain -On one hand if the muscle doesnt ache when you press into it you are applying too little -pressure and will not release the stored tension On the other the muscle should never hurt -after you have stopped compressing If it does you have applied too much pressure or found -an area that would best be avoided Although compression feels like it causes pain it would be -more accurate to say that it reveals where pain already exists in your body believe that the -level of discomfort you feel when compressing a tense muscle is proportionate to the -subliminal pain signals that it sends your brain throughout the day -It almost seems unfair that to rid ourselves of pain we must endure it even more intensely -But there is an optimistic perspective on soft tissue release The muscular strain that you -endure today is the product of years or even decades of tension And yet many muscles can -be largely rehabilitated in just a handful of fiveminute sessions After that initial period of -regular massage less than one minute per month can be sufficient to maintain these results -This suggests that every minute of soft tissue release reverses weeks or even months of strain -Additionally keep in mind that if you choose not to release your muscles you are allowing -them to become tenser raising your levels of stress and anxiety and perpetuating chronic pain -and autonomic imbalance -It is vital to appraise soft tissue therapy positively It is invasive in some ways but you -want your body to embrace the sensations that you feel rather than reject them The key is to -selfsoothe and trigger your natural relaxation response To that end it is imperative to use -diaphragmatic breathing Many specialists agree that deep breathing helps the muscle spindles -receive the message to stop contracting -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -There is a wealth of massage instructions and tutorials on the internet Simply Google -how to massage Or if video instruction appeals to you YouTube it also recommend using -other guides on muscle release such as Jill Millers The Role Model and Clair Davies The Trigger -Point Therapy Workbook As a baseline the exercises that follow highlight a few of the areas -that think are essential to compress and percuss -Massage Exercise Compression of the Hand Web -Use one hand to grab and pinch the web of the other hand Firmly squeeze the area -between the thumb and forefinger Spend time becoming acquainted with the tight -painful bundles of muscles and release them with firm compression Repeat with the -other hand Continue to compress your entire hand searching for any achiness or -tenderness -Illustration Hand massage -Massage Exercise Compression of the Foot Arch -Step firmly on a tennis ball pressing the ball into every area of the underside of the foot -Concentrate on the arch but press the ball into the heel and along the ball of your foot as -well You might also try standing on the corner of a stair Also use the tip of your thumb -to press into sore areas After about two minutes you should notice that compressing it -becomes much less painful and that your foot feels limber and pliant You could buy -milliondollar orthopedic shoes and still not get even a fraction of the relief you can attain -from a couple of hours of soft tissue foot massage -illustration Foot Massage -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -Massage Exercise Compression of the Temporalis -The temporalis muscle assists in chewing and covers much of the temporal bone on the -side of the head Use your knuckles to make small circular motions all along the belly of -this large muscle Also try watching TV lying down on one side with your temporal -muscle pressed into a softball Releasing this muscle will reduce the lowgrade perpetual -headache that so many of us carry When you work on massaging the temporaliis it is also -worth compressing the cheekbones jaw and the three auricular muscles surrounding -each ear -Illustration Temporalis massage -Massage Exercise Compression of the Sternocleidomastoid -Use one hand to grab and pinch the sternocleidomastoid as pictured below It helps to -turn the head to one side Firmly squeeze the length of the muscle from the clavicle up to -just below the ear This muscle is a major structural support for the neck and when it is -tight it hunches the head down and forward It also plays a role in clavicular breathing so -releasing it will help soothe your breath -Illustration Sternocleidomastoid massage -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Massage Exercise Compression of the Occipitalis -Apply deep pressure to the occipitalis muscle and the neck muscles directly below it Lie -down and rest your head on a baseball eyebolt or index knobber to compress these -muscles Releasing the occipitalis will help reduce your lowgrade headache and -straighten the back of your neck -Illustration Occipitalis massage -Massage Exercise Compression of the Neck -The front sides and back of the neck contain a dense array of muscles Reach your hand -into the air above your head bend your elbow and press the tip or knuckle of your -thumb into each of the areas of your neck Identify sore spots and concentrate on them -Alternatively use a tool like a squash ball Index Knobber or eyebolt -illustration Neck massage -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -Massage Exercise Compression of the Corrugator Supercilii -Place your elbows on a tabletop or bed to steady your hands Then use the first knuckles -of your thumbs to press firmly into the small muscles under each eyebrow There are -several layers of different muscles here but you will know when you find the corrugator -supercilii because it will be the most painful The feeling of pressing on it directly will -probably take your breath away even with just a few pounds of pressure Consistent -massage will release all that pain -Ae -Illustration Corrugator supercilii massage -The results of even these simple exercises can be profound Lets look at the corrugator -supercilii muscle in Exercise for example It is the muscle that creates the frown which it -does by lowering the eyebrows and pulling them together Scientists regard it as the principal -muscle in the expression of suffering This means that humans primates and other mammals -unconsciously contract their corrugator supercilii muscles when experiencing great pain What -do you think it means for this muscle itself to be stuck in painful partial contraction think it -means that it has come to perpetuate the condition of suffering Realizing this strongly -motivated me to compress mine until they were absolutely painless In total the process took -me about an hour divided into several short sessions spread over a month It was time well -spent as it released my perennial frown and changed my outlook on the world -Below are several other easytouse massage techniques that should help kickstart your -search for soreness and a personal routine Other chapters in this book will specifically address -massage of the face neck and lower back -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Easytouse massage techniques -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -The health benefits of selfmassage are both real and noticeable compression increases -circulation improves joint health relieves muscular injuries shortens recovery time and -reduces muscle fatigue Aesthetically selfmassage can accentuate muscle mass reduce the -deposition of fat improve the appearance of cellulite and contour tone and firm the skin -have released muscles all over and it has helped me feel as though have an entirely new -body am stronger more flexible faster and more graceful Results are cumulative It should -be everyones objective to release every painful muscle in the body Finding them and learning -how to compress them skillfully is a challenge of course and one of the best ways to start -learning is to receive professional massage -The Benefits of Professional Massage -Getting expert help can be the perfect introduction or complement to a selftreatment routine -If the option is available strongly recommend that you invest a significant proportion of your -disposable income for the next few years on deep tissue massage Receiving quality deep tissue -massages will relieve pentup tension in large portions of your body curbing sympathetic -hyperactivity and activating paingate control It has even been shown to reduce depression -and trait anxiety and reduce generalized anxiety disorder symptoms What is more it -temporarily reduces blood pressure and heart rate and stimulates the production of the brain -chemicals involved in pleasure and satisfaction such as endorphins oxytocin and serotonin -Raising the levels of these substances in your brain has recursive beneficial effects on -happiness confidence and outgoingness -had my first massage at age came out of the studio angry convinced that the -masseuse had pressed too firmly on my shoulder By the time got to my car had a bad cramp -in my deltoid that stayed with me for a full week The cramp formed for three reasons -didnt ask the masseuse to reduce the excessive pressure was a fullon thoracic -breather at the time and defensively contracted the muscle into a tight ball as it was being -massaged Massaging a muscle too intensely especially when it is contracted will make the -muscle worse rather than better It is important to remember that unlike in selfmassage -the professional masseuse cannot feel what you experience as they press They need your -active feedback telling them when to press harder and when to press softer -This bad first experience which was my fault dissuaded me from returning Reading about -the scientific benefits of massage five years later persuaded me to give massage another -chance By this time was practicing diaphragmatic breathing which helped me accept rather -than brace against the most intense parts of the massage This second experience made me -a convert -At first the masseuses saw marveled at how tight my muscles were Several voiced -concern for my wellbeing after feeling my neck and shoulders They would say things like -This isnt good are you okay was even told by several masseuses that had the worst -muscle tension they had ever seen But that feedback started to change within the first year -of weekly deep tissue massages By the end of the year each new masseuse worked with -commented that they had never seen anyone able to take such deep pressure It just didnt -hurt anymore and it hasnt since attribute this entirely to the consistent practice of -diaphragmatic breathing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Deep tissue massage should be uncomfortable at times but should not cause excessive pain -or induce protective spasms When a masseuse presses too hard on a trigger point other -trigger points throughout the body will briefly flare up in response Encourage them to press -hard but never to the point where the pain causes you to tense up in other areas such as your -face neck or back To this end concentrate on holding a relaxed corpse pose allowing your -body to go completely limp -Most importantly you will know that the massage is too hard if it makes you breathe -shallowly or brace your diaphragm As mentioned above you should be practicing -diaphragmatic breathing throughout the massage Employing paced breathing is ideal To do -this locate the breath metronome MP audio tracks available from my website upload them -to your phone and play them during the massage you may want to put the track on repeat to -keep your hands free and turn off the screen of your phone to conserve battery life -Diaphragmatic breathing will keep your muscles from fighting against the forced relaxation -This has the added benefit of reducing the extent of soreness afterward -Illustration A Massage of the temporal muscles B Skeletal muscles of the back C Neck massage -Most masseuses whether they realize it or not specialize in treating the muscles of -respiration This is because any muscle of the torso can be seen as a muscle of respiration After -all every one of them either mobilizes or stabilizes breathing motions Remember how we said -that breathing with the muscles surrounding the thorax and clavicles is especially unhealthy -Any decent massage of the neck shoulders or back will release those muscles helping diminish -the strain responsible for thoracic and clavicular breathing Also you will find that during a -relaxing massage your breathing becomes diaphragmatic on its own and that the activity of -your sympathetic stress system plunges Stress and anxiety cannot remain chronic if you give -yourself intermittent restorative breaks in the form of professional massages -Receiving regular professional massages will teach you how a good massage manipulates -muscle making it easier to give yourself or others effective massage later on You will also -quickly learn where on your body the muscles are dormant so that you can compress them -yourself Additionally massage conditions dominant traits such as not flinching or pulling away -when touched relaxing completely around others and being comfortable while in close -physical contact with people you dont know well These traits will add to your overall sense of -ease and confidence in the world around you -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -Massage Activity Visualization During Massage -Every time you get a massage spend some time noticing what the masseuse is doing to -your body Note the tempo the pressure and the locations they focus on Notice what -areas are sore and how they respond to pressure Pay particular attention to the -technique the masseuse uses what body parts they employ and how Visualize what the -masseuse is doing to you and visualize yourself doing the same to your muscles or those -of others Spending time picturing yourself giving the massage will make you a fantastic -masseuse in no time -Due to reductions in chronic tension and an increased blood supply after a highquality deep -tissue massage you will find yourself able to jump higher run faster and bench press more -You will have more energy better endurance and exercising will be more pleasurable To help -capitalize on those improvements strongly recommend exercising before a deep tissue -massage Afterward you want to stretch and exercise the muscles that have been released -but you dont want to overload them You do not want to go to a batting cage lift heavy weights -spar or load up a moving truck Do these things before a deep tissue massage but not after -Most importantly massage will allow you to flex into and exercise within positions that -were previously barricaded You will find that you can contract portions of muscles that were -once completely unavailable They become available because the massage gives them a -temporary blood supply allowing them to flex like healthy active muscle tissue is supposed to -Subsequent chapters will detail how to combine massage with exercise to reopen -musculoskeletal obstructions -recommend trying as many different masseuses as possible Almost any massage is going -to be of value but only a certain percentage of masseuses are worth your time and money -Your goal is to find the masseuses in your vicinity who are best at searching out and pressing -into the aching tense parts of your body This does not necessarily mean paying top dollar The -most helpful massages have received myself were not the most expensive ones The Chinese -acupressure studio in the mall near my home is consistently the best In my experience -traditional Chinese massage has excellent biological validity They know where trigger points -are and how to compress them firmly while slightly varying the location of pressure every few -seconds also stand by Thai massage medical massage sports massage active release -technique osteopathic manipulation myofascial release therapy and trigger point therapy -With a skilled practitioner each of those schools can lead to extremely positive outcomes -Tension Insanity Excitement -Having reviewed the most important ways in which touch can heal lets return to the story that -opened the chapter That was not the only time found my friend in crisis Nor was it the worst -The third time had to take my friend to the hospital was the most dramatic Homeless -again he had spent a few weeks with some mutual friends One of them was another transient -who harried and browbeat him constantly After less than a week of this abuse his speech was -accelerated and the things he said came primarily from resentment and frustration One day -was looking after him along with a woman he was dating We watched his mental state slowly -devolve over just a few hours and by nighttime his behavior was delirious He was pacing and -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -ranting in a state of purposeless volatility In the episode described at the beginning of this -chapter my friend was in a state of catatonic stupor This time his condition was catatonic -excitement commonly cited as one of the most dangerous mental states in psychiatry -Patients in a state of catatonic excitement are completely impulsive and exhibit bizarre -nongoaldirected hyperactivity My friend was storming around restlessly pointing yelling -and making wild accusations raving about a new topic every two sentences It took me -minutes of this to realize that even though he was on his feet and talking he was barely -conscious His nonsensical incoherent ranting seemed inexhaustible He wouldnt let anyone -touch him and started yelling when any of us came near him or made eye contact He -repeatedly jabbed his finger into the chest of a common friend while screaming As soon as he -made a violent physical overture toward his girlfriend quickly but gently used a wrestling -takedown to bring him to the floor knew that using physical force with a person with a mental -health condition is unethical but reacted to protect the others spoke to him in a friendly -authoritative way and massaged him firmly kneaded the muscles along his spine for a half -hour until he started weeping in relief Remarkably our friends were able to talk him into going -back to the place he dreaded the most cant imagine that any intervention other than -massage could have helped him relax enough to make that choice willingly -It was his third admission to a psychiatric hospital in two years After four days there he was -expelled for fighting with other patients spent hours searching streets near the institution -before found him shivering in the rain He was frenzied rambling madly with a swollen lip and a -gash over his eye All his medications had been stolen from him and he was crashing down as -the prescribed drugs cleared from his cerebral circulation Withdrawal from the sedatives and -antipsychotics caused his sympathetic stress system to go berserk realized that no matter what -we did he would seek out and engage the most upsetting aspect of any scenario put us in -So we avoided stimulation checked us into a hotel in a quiet neighborhood and spent -three days with him working hard to remain as calm and as boring as possible To avoid -overstimulating him hid my phone and took the rooms television down to the front desk At -that time he could only fathom what was physically in front of him so because there was no -television in the room he didnt miss it Instead brought a few board games for us to play -spent most of the time trying to be the perfect combination of nondominant and -nonsubmissive He tried to dominate me he tried to act submissive toward me and ignored -these so as not to reinforce either -During that time also practiced many breathing exercises with him He said he liked them -but he was so restless that he could only concentrate on them for a few seconds at a time He -did not have the attention span necessary for paced breathing For this reason every half hour -asked him to take one long slow inhalation and one complete exhalation while blowing on his -finger He said it made him sleepy Calming our anxiety with proper breathing can make us -drowsy but only at first Many people assume that becoming sleepy is an unavoidable part of -relaxation It is not Performing the diaphragmatic breathing exercises in Chapter over several -weeks will prove to you that relaxation sharpens attention in the long run The next chapter will -discuss the biology of how becoming calmer paradoxically makes you more alert After -coaching him to take many steady full breaths in a row took him to get a massage -We went to an pound woman who gave hourlong fullbody massages for at a -storefront on Hollywood boulevard She had to be more gentle than usual because he could -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -barely stand even mild pressure glanced at him and saw him shuddering convulsing in what -took as the ecstasy of the womans touch meeting the agony of his painbody He started -moaning and when she asked whether she should continue his reply was Please A few -minutes later he started sobbing and didnt stop for the remaining minutes The other -people at the parlor didnt even complain about all the noise he was making because they could -tell what he was going through -A couple of hours after his massage he looked bright fresh and reinvigorated His -appearance contrasted starkly with his appearance described at the beginning of this chapter -It was abundantly clear that various chakralike modules were finally given the break they -needed to begin restoration and regeneration This included muscles that were never even -touched by the masseuse His face voice heart diaphragm and gut had the brief respite they -needed to recharge All because his inner animal was given minutes to forget about its -interminable fear of death -Having never had a massage he said it was the best experience of his life and asked when -we could go again Of course his case is an extreme example Most of us dont carry this -amount of trauma or have such deeply rooted pain bodies But massage be it professional or -selfadministered is among our most effective and accessible means of treating both -Spend Time Rubbing and Caressing -Personal grooming or preening is widespread in animals and is a hygienic behavior aimed at -extracting foreign objects from the bodys surface It is done to remove insects ectoparasites -leaves dirt and twigs Social grooming is common in mammals and involves stroking -scratching massaging licking and gentle biting of another animal Even animals such as birds -horses bats lions and insects groom each other Apes and monkeys groom one another daily -and the consequent trust and bonding are critical to group cohesion Grooming plays a role in -establishing alliances is imperative for reconciliation after conflict and is one of the main ways -that primates reduce stress and tension -In humans and other mammals gentle wellmeaning touch stimulates the release of beta -endorphin This natural analgesic attaches to the same brain receptors as morphine heroin -and other drugs derived from the opium poppy Synthetic opioid street drugs increase the -traumatic load on our bodies by leading to extreme withdrawal But increasing the levels of -natural endorphins produced by your brain does not and may be among the healthiest things -you can do It increases overall wellbeing Grooming massaging rubbing cuddling and -caressing all have this effect This is partially responsible for the fact that primates with the -most grooming relationships tend to be healthier on average -Do dominant primates groom a lot or a little What would be your guess In fact they -groom others the most Because the dominant primates usually have the highest circulating -endorphin levels they typically do not need to be groomed to relax but are the most willing to -groom others Most humans do not regularly rub or massage others Do you think that many -people are apprehensive about being affectionate because they are concerned that their -manual skills are not good enough or they worry about the social aspects of the interaction -More than anything they dont want to have their efforts rejected But much of this is a -question of familiarity and repetitionyou cant get good if you dont try A little bit of time -and practice will allow you to pass that apprehensive barrier and feel at ease touching and -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -rubbing other people As with other skills weve discussed you can develop the ability on your -own before perfecting it with others -Massage Exercise Rub and Caress an Inanimate Object -Find a pillow or similar object to rub caress or massage Know that the pillow will not -judge your efforts allowing you to caress it in the most loving way that you are capable -Imagine you are humbly trying to gain experience and work toward caressing a real -person You might pretend to be finger painting a beautiful cursive abstract composition -using a slow soothing cadence Think slow hand not heated rush Alternate between -touching firmly and very tenderly Try to touch the object in the way you want to be -touched and know that you can experiment with new flourishes and rhythms without -someone critiquing you If you do this while practicing paced breathing you will find that -your hands do not hesitatethe indecision and fumbling will be absent quickly making -you into a pro With enough practice your loved ones will never want you to stop -touching them and you will develop a healing hand -When you find the opportunity practice stroking and caressing another person ina -smooth rhythmic and doting way Alternate between using your whole hand and the tips of -your fingers Dont hesitate or pause and try to keep your fingers from skipping along their skin -Rather maintain fluid contact Lightly squeeze their skin between your fingers and tug at it -gently You can rub their entire body alternating between pressing and caressing This kind of -positive physical touch can work wonders for your spouse children or pets -Caress like vibration does not release hypertonic muscles in the same way that -compression or percussion does It undoes tension through relaxation by significantly reducing -conscious bracing However if the person being massaged feels uncomfortable they may -actually brace more like a pet that doesnt want to be picked up Many people cringe and -reject touch due to past physical trauma As the one doing the touching it is your responsibility -to touch them in a way that causes their bracing to subside Affectionate attentive and flowing -movements will do this -Try rubbing or caressing your significant other as you listen to music It can help coordinate -and sensualize your movements Rubbing and massaging the scalp is one of the best ways to -release endorphins One way to approach this is to start by pressing the tip of your thumb -firmly into their upper neck and then the occipital muscles on the back of their head Sensually -depress release and reposition once every two seconds Use your thumb to stroke firmly over -the hair shafts around the nape of the neck making a crackling sound and stimulating the -copious nerve endings in the area Massaging the entire scalp in this way rubbing it -rhythmically with all ten finger pads can be intensely pleasurable Try lying next to your -partner nestling against them and fondling their arms back and shoulders You might lie on -your back and have a significant other lie on top of you stomach to stomach so that you can -rub their neck back bottom and legs with both hands -It is known that in primates the grooming animal enjoys levels of pleasure chemicals that -are comparable to the individual being groomed It is the same in humans Stroking your cat or -dog releases endorphins reduces heart rate and drops blood pressure in the pet as well as in -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -the human doing the petting Without question massaging and caressing someone else is the -most pleasurable stressreducing and bonding activity know of believe that many people -feel unsated because they mistakenly seek this form of satisfaction from kissing and sex which -simply dont provide it One look at the pervasiveness of grooming in primates convinces me -that our bodies are biologically prepared for and expectant of being rubbed and caressed -We are doing ourselves a disservice by not doing it regularly -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Massage techniques -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -Conclusion -Psychologists have long been puzzled by the fact that people who experience windfalls such as -winning the lottery do not stay happy for long Humans tend to return to a stable set point for -subjective wellbeing and life satisfaction within a short period following major positive or -negative life events This phenomenon has been called the hedonic treadmill You can -increase the speed as much as you want on a treadmill but you wont get anywhere In life you -can accumulate as many riches and accolades as you want but it likely wont make you any -happier or more peaceful A good deal of psychological research has been devoted to grappling -with this issue because it seems inherently unsettling If fulfilling our lifelong dreams and -ambitions does not reduce our pain what will -Well massage will Trigger points keep us tethered to the hedonic treadmill Winning the -lottery does nothing to remove years of builtup tension in our bodies However breathing -retraining compression percussion and caressing do precisely that They alleviate pressure -and pain They give us longterm renewable increases in the levels of pleasurecausing -chemicals in our brains They bring us closer to other people and help us learn to be more -comfortable with them physically -You probably know someone in their nineties who has terrible posture They would be spry -and dexterous if only they had enjoyed a monthly deep tissue massage throughout their life -Many people assume that frailty muscle pain and loss of muscle mass are simply inevitable -concomitants of aging They are not They are merely the cumulative toll of continuous tension -To help reverse the effects of longterm muscle strain recommend creating a monthly -budget for deep tissue massage For the first several months spend as much of your -discretionary income on it as possible Then transition into doing it yourself Recruit your -friends family members and partners to practice massage with you Whether you do it -yourself or practice mutual massage with a loved one it is a free way to rapidly increase -your wellbeing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Massage can repair tense painful muscles all over the body It works by forcing partially -contracted muscles into a resting state which allows them to regenerate heal -and receive fresh blood and nutrients -e Pressing firmly into tender achy muscle provides ischemic compression which forces -the blood out of the tissue and then when released increases blood flow -e Muscles that are sore when compressed are the most in need of massage -e All the muscle soreness in your body can and should be removed by massage -e Performed regularly compression will restore proper length and tone to the muscle -increasing its range of motion strength and regenerative capacity as well as reducing -tension and pain -e There are key areas of the body that when massaged can recover providing -tremendous benefits -e Muscle compression is most effective when used with diaphragmatic breathing -e Percussion is another massage modality that involves gently but rapidly striking a -muscle Vibration is a third modality that uses a vibrating electric massage tool -e Massage also improves posture athleticism muscular endurance coordination -flexibility and mobility -e Learning to massage yourself is awkward at first Achieving the ability to do it effectively -may take months but is a skill worth investing time in Getting professional massages -can help the learning process -Grooming in primates is vital to stress reduction social cohesion and wellbeing -You can achieve the same positive outcomes by making time to affectionately massage -rub and caress those closest to you -Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage -Chapter Endnotes -Burrow J P Spurling B C Marwaha R Catatonia In StatPearls StatPearls -Publishing -Braun M B Simonson S J introduction to massage therapy Lippincott -Williams Wilkins -Fridlund A J Human facial expression An evolutionary view Academic Press -Moyer C A Rounds J Hannum J W A Metaanalysis of massage therapy -research Psychological Bulletin -Rapaport MH Schettler P Larson E R Edwards S A Dunlop B W Rakofsky J J -Kinkead B Acute Swedish massage monotherapy successfully remediates symptoms -of generalized anxiety disorder A proofofconcept randomized controlled study The Journal -of Clinical Psychiatry e -Fritz S Mosbys fundamentals of therapeutic massage Elsevier Health Sciences -Weerapong P Hume P A Kolt G S The mechanisms of massage and effects -on performance muscle recovery and injury prevention Sports Medicine -Smuts B Cheney D Seyfarth R Wrangham R Struhsaker T Primate -societies University of Chicago Press -Schino G Scucchi S Maestripieri D Turillazzi PG Allogrooming as a tension -reduction mechanism A behavioral approach American Journal of Primatology -Keverne E B Martensz N D Tuite B Betaendorphin concentrations in -cerebrospinal fluid of monkeys are influenced by grooming relationships -Psychoneuroendocrinology -McConnell P The other end of the leash Why we do what we do around dogs -Ballantine Books -Frederick S Loewenstein G K Hedonic adaptation In D Kahneman E Diener -N Schwarz Eds Wellbeing The foundations of hedonic psychology pp New -Russell Sage Foundation -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Think Peacefully -Never in his brief cave life had he encountered anything of which to be afraid Yet fear was in him It had come -down to him from a remote ancestry through a thousand lives It was a heritage he had received directlythrough -all the generations of wolves that had gone before Fearthat legacy of the Wild which no animal may escape -So the gray cub knew fear though he knew not the stuff of which fear was made Jack London -White Fang -In my twenties would phone my parents every week and they would ask how was doing -would tell them that everything in my life was going fine but that for some reason my stress -was insufferable that was in a state of endless panic and could feel the devastating effect it -was having on my body and mind was taking graduate courses in clinical psychology and was -very familiar with the Western approach to anxiety Reading numerous books and articles gave -me insight into my condition but no relief from it -It wasnt until discovered Eastern and Stoic contemplativemedcitative perspectives on -stress that found a way to start to counteract the damage that my tormented mind was -inflicting on my body think you will find that these perspectives are intertwined with the -content from the preceding chapters and that used together they will help you tame the -unnerving impulses emanating from your brains unconscious fear centers -The Brain Circuits Responsible for Fear -Neuroscientists have identified seven primary emotions common to all mammals care -nurturance play social joy seeking expectation lust sexual excitement rage anger fear -anxiety and grief sadness These emotions correspond to specific subcortical brain circuits -Each is embodied in a mechanistic device made of brain cells that sits below the level of the -conscious cerebral cortex Both the emotions and the brain areas responsible for them are -highly conserved in all mammals and even extend to certain species of birds and reptiles In -their book The Archaeology of Mind pioneering researchers Jaak Panksepp and Lucy Biven -explain how these genetically hardwired emotional systems often referred to collectively as -the limbic system reflect ancestral memories with adaptive functions -Each emotion is an information processing tool builtin to animals rather than having to be -learned by them They each steer the progression of thought in a different direction to ensure -the animal is responding to its environment with the right behaviors The fear and grief circuits -respond to hardship and despite being intrinsic to survival are one of the primary drivers of -psychological pain in mammals At this point you shouldnt be surprised to learn that they are -the emotions most closely tied to status conflict As such they elicit muscle tension and -distressed breathing This chapter will focus on how you can interrupt this elicitation by taking -control of your thought process -In newborn mammals the fear system is only activated by a few things These are -instinctually fearprovoking stimuli and include pain sudden movement falling suffocation -and loud noise Mammals are afraid of these things by nature because they are predictive of -death After experiencing such stimuli fear is generalized to the things that the animal has -found can be associated with them For instance newborn rats are not afraid of their natural -predators such as cats ferrets and foxes However due to their strong instinctual fear of these -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -predators odors they learn to become afraid after being exposed to them In fear learning -experiments rats can easily be trained to become frightened of a variety of neutral contextual -stimuli like Kleenex or sand that were coincidentally present during their exposure to -instinctual fear stimuli For example the smell of a ferret can make a rat deathly afraid of a -toilet paper roll -We too overgeneralize our fears Horror movies are an apt example They are horrible for -our minds because they activate and strengthen our fear circuits They cause us to associate -instinctual fears with all kinds of neutral concepts far beyond the stereotypical hockey players -dolls dark alleys clowns and old houses Do scary movies further sensitize everyones fear -circuit or can some people watch them without repercussions While know its possible to -have such good posture composure and breathing that watching a horror flick desensitizes -you to fear Im certainly not there yet -When scientists surgically place electrodes directly into the brains fear system lateral and -central amygdala anterior medial hypothalamus and periaqueductal gray and stimulate it -electrically this incites an ominous objectless fear making the animal afraid of everything it -encounters Animals freeze at low levels of current and take precipitous flight at higher levels -When the same areas are stimulated in humans they make comments such as Im scared to -death Somebody is now chasing me am trying to escape from him and feel an abrupt -feeling of uncertainty just like entering a long dark tunnel -Repeated stimulation of the fear center whether through experiences or electrodes cause -rats to become constitutionally inhibited skittish and timid These rats engage less in play -feeding sex and grooming Repetitive activation of the fear circuit is a surefire pathway to -social defeat When the fear system is activated every nuance of your body language tells a -potential predator that you are unstable and will make an easy lunch The same body language -tells potential competitors that they have the advantage over you Clearly the fear system can -be insidious and you dont want its neural connections to strengthen or spread -The Brain Circuits Responsible for Grief -The grief system is separate from the fear system Just as the predation and aggression systems -are dissociable as discussed in Chapter grief and fear involve distinct neural pathways They -even use different chemicals and respond differently to drugs Electrical stimulation of brain -regions containing grief circuitry shifts people into a state of desolation and despair that lifts -rapidly when the current is turned off The general anatomy of the human grief system -anterior cingulate dorsomedial thalamus and periaqueductal gray overlaps extensively with -the system responsible for separation calls in other animals -Baby mammals and birds emit distress vocalizations when separated from their mothers -These are reflexive cries generated by the activation of their grief system made to help their -mother locate them in space We usually subdue the impulse to cry out but much of our -psychological pain involves the arousal of these same areas Can you find the lost baby animal -inside of you now Can you feel the stress of the last week and how it puts pressure on your -voice box as if you wanted to cry out and be rescued Baby animals stop crying out and their -grief system shuts down as soon as their mother finds them Our grief system can remain -operative for years at a time Of course this leads to repetitive strain of the vocal tract which -Chapter will show you how to overcome -Chapter Think Peacefully -When baby monkeys are separated from their mothers for even just a few hours they -experience grief that can affect them for the rest of their lives Some primatologists force these -separations in adverse rearing experiments so that they can study the factors involved in risk -and resilience to mental illnesses such as anxiety Monkeys that have been separated from their -mothers repeatedly develop chronic despair As adults they tend to have fewer social alliances -less social support fewer grooming partners impaired social skills and reduced social -competence They are poor at finding sexual partners make deficient parents and are less -affiliative and more aggressive toward their peers They are also consistently more subordinate -and inhabit rungs lower in the social hierarchy These things are also often true of monkeys -that have been neglected abused or orphaned Allowing ourselves to wallow in a state of grief -loneliness or discontentedness results in the same outcomes -The emotions of fear and grief intend to keep us safe and from finding ourselves isolated -In most people however their signals are too intense and have stayed on for too long -Unchecked fear and grief maintain a negative state of mind that cripples us socially and -mutilates our reality We need to convince the baby mammal in the center of our brains that -we are not desperately trying to find our mother that we are not lost that we are not missing -anything or anyone and that we are exactly where we are supposed to be -SORE -Illustration A Guinea pig brain crosssection B Human brain crosssection Both illustrations show the fear -system amygdala AM hypothalamus H and periaqueductal gray PAG and grief system anterior cingulate -AC dorsomedial thalamus DMT and periaqueductal gray PAG Note that even though these two brains are -not shown to scale the relative size of the emotional areas is smaller in humans and this reflects our capacity for -deliberate emotional regulation -Common to both the brains fear and grief systems is a panic center called the amygdala -This structure is tied to the sympathetic nervous system and acts to elevate muscle tension -blood pressure stress hormones and heart and respiration rates The amygdala ensures that -threatened animals respond to negative situations with energy Its messages about fear -override ongoing processing elsewhere in the brain and cause us to refocus our attention on -threat Many of our most negative behaviors occur when this subcortical nucleus assumes -control over the brains higher cognitive centers in what is commonly referred to as an -amygdala highjack -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Like the fear and grief systems that it potentiates the amygdala is always active It is -constantly running its information processing algorithms though usually at a low level Brain -scans show that the amygdalas activity level rises when we feel threatened It is more active -at rest in people with anxiety or depressive disorders and less active in those who report being -happy and well adjusted We can never be certain what will set it off and we often are not -even aware when it has been activated for more on the amygdala see Chapter -The amygdala and by extension the fear and grief systems work on the smoke detector -principle Just like smoke detectors they are calibrated to be so sensitive that they are liable to -go off by accident They are set this way because a few false alarms are tolerable if it ensures -that we can recognize real peril when it arises In terms of reproductive success it is better to -overreact to a nonthreat than to underreact to a true threat This is a reasonable -predisposition for wild animals but an irrational one for modern humans Today we tolerate -constant false alarms of the fear and grief systems even though we are rarely confronted by -physical threats This vestigial hairtrigger mechanism is the reason we are predisposed to -negative thinking -The Negativity Bias Fear Grief and Default Mode -What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow -our life is the creation of our mind Buddha c BCE BCE -Humans are a special type of biological survival machine Unlike viruses bacteria protists -fungi plants and most animals we think We are capable of simulating environmental -situations so that we can predict the probable outcomes of our actions We use these -simulations to learn about and make sense of the events around us In a perfect world these -models would always be cheerful and productive Unfortunately our brains threat centers -influence us to model negative things so that we can respond appropriately when negative -scenarios arise This tendency to focus on the bad is often referred to as the negativity bias -The negativity bias makes us more likely to focus on a negative piece of information such as -a criticism than a positive one such as a compliment It results in superstitious nonreflective -fretting that rarely leads to insight or progress Also negative thoughts can be triggered rapidly -but tend to linger for long periods This is probably related to the poor rebound effect for -diaphragmatic breathing in which a minor threat can force a mammal to breathe shallowly -within a single second after which it takes several minutes for the breathing to return -to normal -Lamentably rosy glasses dont contribute to reproductive success in most ecological -scenarios Further animals that dont worry have poor survival outcomes Studies that look at -fish mice or primates that are bred or experimentally altered to become fearless show that -these animals are great at acquiring resources but are the first to be eaten On the other -hand the most anxious animals avoid predators and stay safe However they are not very -productive or reproductive because they are constantly hiding and cowering So it was good -for our ancestors to be somewhere between fearful and fearless But what about today -What about you Would you benefit from being fearless -Chapter Think Peacefully -For thousands of millennia our forebears were hunted mauled and devoured by -monsters These included sabertoothed cats cave lions cave hyenas dire wolves shortfaced -bears fivemeterlong snakes giant lizards and towering flightless terror birds However -anatomically modern humans employing expertly fashioned spears clubs axes and knives -were able to turn the tables For the last thousand years we systematically drove these -giant beasts of prey to extinction We killed off many of these Cenozoic megafauna for food -In so doing we made nearly the entire surface of Earth free from predators In the last -thousand years humans have replaced brutal disputes with courtroom judgments and every -man for himself with legal rights Compared to our ancestors we should feel invulnerable -Our world is far safer now Our genes and brains just dont know it yet -Humans today have virtually no natural predators We fight among each other less than -ever before and cannibalism is finally out of fashion but our brains fear and grief systems are -still fully operational The human brain is the pinnacle of evolution on Earth and the most -complex object in the known galaxy yet it is routinely preoccupied with unsubstantiated fear -vindictive anger regret victimization resentment and status anxiety When you experience -these emotions thank your brain for trying to protect you but know that they are vestiges from -a treacherous anarchic past Anxiety involves a tradeoff The table below lists several similar -tradeoffs discussed in this book -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Common -Behaviors -Implications for Hunter -Gatherers -Implications for Modern -People -Chronic Stress -Caution and apprehension of -danger Motivation to struggle -fight and survive -Unhealthy bodily effects -Unnecessary psychological -discomfort and woe -Anxiety -Enhanced awareness of -potentially fatal threats -Exaggerated fear responses to -nonfatal threats -Depression -Accepting the dominance of other -Loss of confidence drive and -protection -Defeat group members ambition -Submissive Pacifying those who might harm Generating superfluous tension -Behavior you Deescalating conflict trauma and heartache -Dominating Elevating yourself in the social Putting others down and making -Behavior hierarchy them angry -Anger Aggression Healthy selfpromotion and Negative interactions and social -isolation -Competitiveness -Drive to attain food and mates at -the expense of others -Competition with friends and -coworkers is unnecessary and -divisive -Defensiveness -Selfprotection and healthy -suspicion of others -Unnecessarily high paranoia or -fear of others intentions -impulsivity -Drive to quickly attain food and -other resources -Diminished capacity for patience -discipline and goal setting -Addictiveness -Quick to repeat behaviors that -have positive outcomes -Quick to become addicted to -drugs alcohol etc -Table Behavior that was adaptive in our ancestral past is now maladaptive -Our proclivity for chaotic and destructive thinking is largely involuntary This is because -in most people the brains fear and grief centers have been recruited to be an integral part of -the default mode network When we think about unfavorable social scenarios while under -sympathetic upregulation day after day we deeply etch the threat centers into our wiring -This makes it so that antagonistic conflict runs on autopilot The default mode network is active -during selfreferential thought but is turned off whenever our attention turns to a task or -distraction For many of us the only time we have a reprieve from negative thoughts is when -a diversion such as the television or social media drowns out our inner voice -Chapter Think Peacefully -Many individuals with severe PTSD extrovert only when they talk about their trauma -They may be reticent and withdrawn most of the time but come alive when relating stories -about being accosted bombed in a rice paddy or abused as a child too used to only become -lively when spoke about the bad things that happened to me would pick the most negative -topic possible and use it to whip myself into a frenzy This made most of my conversations with -friends interactions that are supposed to be uplifting incredibly draining My tendency to talk -about unsettling events was reinforcing my social anxiety Next time you are with a friend try -not talking about anything irksome or disagreeable and watch how cool it helps you become -Many of us define ourselves in terms of how tough or unique our problems are This is due -to our inherited tendency to become addicted to trauma During fearful episodes the brain -secretes opioid chemicals that temporarily alleviate the sensation of pain This fearinduced -analgesia is the reason why some of us are paradoxically addicted to fear We find it thrilling -This is why we can become addicted to scary movies or to focusing on negative events It is like -an animal in a cage that engages in selfinjurious behavior just to stay stimulated Almost all -monkeys caged alone develop selfbiting selfslapping and headbanging tendencies Analyze -the perverse gratification you get from thinking and talking about negative things Isnt this -something you could live without -Thinking Activity imagine Not Talking About Stress -Analyze your tendency to talk and think unconstructively about things that incite strong -negative emotions What if you cut this out completely Imagine not telling others about -anything negative traumatic or fearinducing ever again Imagine never griping criticizing or -discussing situations in which you feel you have been wronged Imagine never talking about -anything related to your misfortune mistreatment or your ego being bruised Imagine not -dragging yourself and others down with stories about hostile interpersonal interactions -Could you do it How might this change you -Hopefully you can see how these types of conversations are draining you Try going for a -whole month without talking about anything stressful By the end of the month just see -whether you have more positive energy -Confiding in others in a relaxed supportive environment can be highly therapeutic -However inundating others with negativity just winds us up further Mulling over upsetting -scenarios rather than desensitizing you usually just sensitizes you to them further Let us -differentiate between what sensitizes us and desensitizes us -Be Nonjudgmental Nonresistant and Nonattached -Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny for what could more aptly fit your needs -Marcus Aurelius -It is possible to prune the fear and grief centers from your brains default network By -intentionally reframing our experiences we can remodel the existing biological connections and -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -reprogram our thinking Even the simplest popular notions about managing negative thinking -can be applicable Use these its not that bad mistakes make me better dont fight -reality everything is temporary this too will pass lets find the silver lining everything -happens for a reason I learn from my mistakes time heals all wounds or never mind -Reframing bad experiences solders resilience into our brains circuitry and cuts out the -elements that do not serve us -The following are three especially powerful perspectives that come straight from Eastern -philosophy that have helped me reframe my circumstances and rewire my worldview -nonjudgment nonresistance and nonattachment -wa wa -Thinking Activity Nonjudgment Nonresistance Nonattachment -Spend five minutes imagining what it would be like to completely embrace the following -perspectives -Nonjudgment You are nonjudgmental when you make a conscious choice not to -criticize Most people judge everything that they come across This is immature -Instead of judging something dispassionately recognize it for what it is and move on -without stamping it with your approval or rejection You can suspend your judgment -on everything from nuisances to catastrophes -Nonresistance Always accept what is going on at present as if you have chosen it -Nonresistance is choosing to accept the things you cannot change We are constantly -resisting Not only is this often futile it is also extremely disheartening Give yourself -a break from opposing your environment and let things take their natural course -This is not resignation or inaction We cant fix everything at once so it is best to learn -to coexist with the things that are bothering us as we consider the best ways to rectify -them Accept everything that happens Stoic philosophers called this the art of -acquiescence Nietzsche called this amor fati a love for all that fate unfolds -So Ive been asking you to become nonsubmissive but am also asking you to fully -surrender to everything you cannot change -Nonattachment We all have unhealthy emotional attachments to things that we can -easily lose These attachments set us up for disappointment and emotional pain when -we do lose them Even if we dont lose them we live in fear of losing them Imagine -what it would be like never to fear loss Imagine losing everything that you love and -yet still being at peace Relinquish property friends family past achievements -and every form of physical possession Imagine giving up these things and yet still -being happy If you are afraid of losing something you are insecurely attached to it -and can never truly love it True joy only comes from things or aspects of things -that can never be taken away -These three perspectives are very powerful because they force us to reanalyze our -predicaments from a viewpoint inconsistent with ego status or defeat This is why they are -also incompatible with distressed breathing and persistent muscle tension Due to our -experiencedependent neuroplasticity mental states become mental traits Thus using these -Chapter Think Peacefully -concepts to reconceptualize your world will weaken the influence of fear and grief and -hardwire your brain for peace -Meditate to Calm the Mind -Would you have a great empire Rule over yourself Publilius Syrus BCE BCE -The next few sections discuss meditation and meditative techniques you can use to ease your -mind and body Meditation is an internal effort to selfregulate the mind During meditation -sessions participants sustain attention toward breathing bodily sensations emotions and -thoughts When they find their attention has wandered into phobias and compulsions they are -supposed to acknowledge this and then let go of them to refocus on the breath or empty the -mind Calm inaction and desireless patience result in the domestication of the brains -barbarian emotional systems Repeated failures in the first several sessions are lessons in -humility and patience Adopting a consistent meditative practice will lead you to develop -selfmastery of thoughtthe most real and lasting power -Illustration A Meditator B Rabid dog C Blood sucking leech D Smoke detector -Siddhartha Gautama also known as the Buddha spent six years meditating on his suffering -in an attempt to understand peace He finally concluded that suffering is not caused by either -misfortune or divine punishment but rather by thought patterns This led him to teach others -that suffering derives from craving and dissatisfaction and that the only way to stop suffering is -to stop wanting more and to stop wanting to impress others Complete control of the mind is -known in Buddhism and Hinduism as nirvana The literal translation of nirvana is extinguishing -the fire the fire of worry yearning and longing Nirvana is also defined as serenity salvation -heaven or an indestructible sense of wellbeing in which ego hatred and greed have been -overcome Many spiritual masters think of nirvana and true enlightenment to be the end of -emotional suffering believe it is attainable for everyone -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Meditate by Watching the Thinker -There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so Shakespeare -f you dont like something change it If you cant change it change your attitude Maya Angelou -We feel like we control our stream of thought but we dont Most of our thinking is directed by -reflexlike impulses beyond our supervision Trying to control the parade of associations is -much like trying to control a dream Our desires and discouragements are endless because they -dont stem from our objective reality but the state of our default network We ruminate about -negative circumstances in a pitiful and inefficacious attempt to change individual thoughts -about them for the better but instead we must change our overall thinking pattern To start -this process observe your thoughts as if you were an outsider -Thinking Activity Watching the Thinker -Spend five minutes seeing thoughts as what they are opinions Identify negative -considerations as worries and let them go without elaborating on them Ask yourself -wonder why had that last thought Then ask yourself Il wonder where my thought -will turn to next Never be afraid of what your next thought will be and rest secure in -the assumption that it will not have the power to cut short your next long deep -smooth inhalation -Dwelling on problems without a constructive intention to amend them is selfpunishment -Recognize that rumination about your perceived station in the status hierarchy may feel like -an objective observation but that is usually a distortion of reality Question the legitimacy of -your irrational and selfcritical thoughts Dont take them seriously Smile at the voice in your -head as you would at the antics of a child Disidentify with it -In life bad things are inevitable Just dont absorb them Dont hold them in your face -stomach or heart Let the pain pass right through you Just because it would upset others or -would have upset you in the past doesnt mean you should let it upset you now Ask yourself -Do hold my amygdalas panic button out for the world to press Ask yourself honestly -whether you want to be a victim of your lifes events or a prisoner in your mind If you think -that weeping or throwing a tantrum over misfortune is ineffectual realize that internal -suffering is too -When someone honks at us our heart rate rises After an argument we have a headache -When we are mistreated we cant sleep When someone challenges us our jaw contracts and -our stomach churns What do all these things have in common Mental perseveration We cant -stop thinking about unpleasant encounters By continuing to mull over these incidents you -maintain the tension But if you bar yourself from searching for justifications to launch a -counterattack you can return to homeostasis in seconds -Our struggle with peer politics is Kafkaesque in the sense that it is at once mundane -senseless inescapable and unresolvable We keep struggling with the ramifications of the -pecking order even though finding some semblance of control of it is impossible There is no -Chapter Think Peacefully -solace or understanding to be reached in perseverating on it Just because they say it doesnt -mean its true Not responding is not a loss Getting the last word is meaningless Thinking -about just how wrong what that person did is will not change anything -When you find yourself engaged in negative thinking imagine yourself dropping it like it -is a scalding item that you dont want to be burned by or placing it on the ground like a -heavy box of rotten food Either way walk away from it like the unnecessary burden that it is -Pain isnt optional but holding on to pain is When you simulate negative scenarios in your -mind your brain and body operate as if what you are imagining is really occurring You tense up -and carry the fight around with you But if you can think of taking such misfortunes -philosophically without suffering you can protect your chakralike modules from -unnecessary strain -Meditate Mindfully -Who sees all beings in his own self and his own self in all beings loses fear When a sage sees this great unity -and his self has become all things what delusion and what sorrow can ever be near him Upanishads -Breathe Let go And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure -Oprah Winfrey -Mindfulness is a meditative practice that has grown out of the Buddhist tradition A person who -is meditating mindfully attempts to become aware of their surroundings thoughts and actions -without being critical For beginners to achieve a state of mindfulness they must concentrate -on ruling out all distractions and focus on being present in their current experience Someone -familiar with this practice can remain in a state of mindfulness throughout most daily activities -think of all the activities and exercises in this book as meditative practices that are best done -mindfully -Medical researcher and author Jon KabatZinn helped popularize the modern mindfulness -movement KabatZinn has influenced many medical treatment centers around the world to -use mindfulness meditation to help their patients counteract psychological stress pain and -illness He conceptualizes mindfulness as a state in which one is aware of and focused on the -reality of the present moment accepting and acknowledging it without being frustrated by -thoughts about or emotional reactions to it One of the key elements involved in achieving -mindfulness is to reside in the now in choiceless awareness Nonjudgment nonresistance -and nonattachment are fundamental to living mindfully -Thinking Activity Living in the Present Moment -Spend a few minutes immersed in the here and now simply experiencing your senses -Allow yourself to live entirely in the moment as if you have chosen it and everything about it -Notice when you find yourself worrying about the future or regretting the past When your -mind wanders toward misgivings or social stressors just redirect it back to your present -experience what you are seeing hearing and feeling right now Dont even anticipate future -moments be content in the one that you are in presently This present instant is the only -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -time that you will ever have for peace Keep reminding yourself to already be whole content -and happy within it -As we discussed in Exercise notice the pain you feel within your body in the present -moment Acknowledge its intensity and location nonjudgmentally and with nonresistance -Dont let the discomfort make you irritated with the present or push you out of the present -Next try to find pleasure in the present moment It is there Start training your mind to -notice the faint impressions of pleasure so that you can develop the capacity to dwell -within them -In therapeutic settings mindfulness has been shown to alleviate stress and accentuate self -efficacy and confidence Consistent mindfulness has even been shown to increase gray matter -in brain areas involved in subduing emotions including those that inhibit the amygdala Peer -reviewed articles published in a wide variety of established scientific journals have yielded data -evincing that mindfulness techniques have demonstrated substantial clinical benefits for -individuals suffering from a variety of mental and physical disorders Meditation training is used -to palliate anxiety fibromyalgia chronic pain cardiovascular disease addiction bipolar -disorder insomnia intractable depression and many others For these reasons substantial -US federal funding has been used to produce mindfulness programs and workshops in schools -prisons hospitals military bases and veterans centers -Thinking Activity What Would You Like to Think About -We are free to think about whatever we want to We only have to realize this freedom What -would you like to do with your thoughts and inner voice For the next two minutes turn your -thought to whatever you choose Dont concern yourself with worrisome inane things and -dont allow your past thoughts and default network to determine where your mind goes -next When you know you have made a contentious or unproductive association cut the -chain Go back to the last branch and pick up where you left off Take responsibility to -censure edit and rewrite the endless string of associations How can you use your thought -constructively What are some positive questions you can address Imagine what you are -going to do tomorrow to make your day more productive Continually ask yourself the -magic question How can make this better -Living in the moment is what dominant mammals do They are not bothered by past -failures or worries about the future They are not concerned that things will suddenly go wrong -They believe that they have what it takes to handle any situation or confrontation They trust -that their instincts and first reactions will solve any problem The winners mindset is -meditative in this sense As a winner approach everything in your life confidently as if you -intend to succeed before you even start -Chapter Think Peacefully -Anxiety Increases Mental Focus but Only in the Short Term -When you relax you lose a degree of mental speed and intensity This is because during stress -brain chemicals such as dopamine noradrenaline and cortisol accelerate the brains processing -speed On the order of seconds to minutes they can improve performance on a variety of -mental tasks Everyone knows this implicitly and many people are afraid to relax because -they dont want a lapse in their processing ability However on longer periods from hours to -months these same chemicals wreak havoc on mental function When stress hormone levels -remain high for several days the brain starts to remodel its architecture compromising -concentration learning and memory -As we have discussed the most potent source of stress for primates is social conflict -Mammals that are socially stressed release stress hormones that preside over a host of -negative neurobiological alterations The birth of new neurons neurogenesis is suppressed -connections between neurons dendrites atrophy neural learning synaptic plasticity is -impaired and cell death apoptosis increases As illustrated in the figure below the brain -cells of socially defeated mammals show significant deterioration -Illustration A The neuron on top is a normal neuron from a tree shrew It has expansive connections to other -neurons B The neuron on the bottom comes from a tree shrew that has been exposed to days of domination -by a member of its species The reduction in dendritic branching is quite apparent These changes can be reversed -if this shrews stress hormone levels are reduced -Two of the most pivotal brain areas for highlevel thought the prefrontal cortex and -the hippocampus are damaged the most in humans and other mammals by the stress hormone -cortisol Stress is physically destructive to the brain cells in these areas The damage reduces -learning ability problem solving creativity impulse control and long and shortterm -memory Like muscle cells brain cells perform well under acute stress but falter under -chronic stress -Anxiety and nervousness create a distracting form of mental noise People with anxiety -disorders exhibit slower reaction times in complex cognitive tasks which is thought to derive -from noise in the individuals information processing stream Stress causes attentional deficits -and instability in basic cognitive operations When you meditate try to quiet this mental noise -with proper breathing zero reactivity and nonjudgmental awareness of the pressure on your -mind to keep switching between neurotic thoughts and impulses -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Contrasting with the cell damage done to higherorder processing areas brain cells in the -amygdala and the brains fear centers are strengthened by cortisol and chronic stress This -heightens fear learning and intensifies fearful memories have written articles about how -these detrimental brain changes may be adaptive for wild mammals allowing them to switch -from a controlledattentive processing strategy to an automaticpreattentive one Becoming -disinhibited impulsive and opportunistic in an adverse prehistoric setting may have been -adaptive In modern times however the cognitive repercussions of excessive stress not only -decrease our quality of life but also impair our ability to function professionally -Mental Relaxation Leads to Mental Clarity in the Long Term -After years of stress my mind was always racing could tell that my thoughts were -fragmented became all too aware that chronic stress was causing not only problems at work -and in my relationships but also mental illness My working memory declined steeply and -began to experience perceptual aberrations It got so bad that even experienced minor -auditory hallucinations You can read more about these experiences on my blog -felt that being on constant high alert was protecting me but it was maiming me As you -allow yourself to relax you may feel in your gut that you are not vigilant enough or notice that -your response times are delayed For years was afraid of becoming too calm was worried -that wouldnt jump to the right conclusion or be able to talk fast enough to communicate -properly could tell that using adrenaline spikes helped me find words speak quickly and put -together complex sentences was afraid that being calm would make people think was dim -witted or discourteous One of the biggest steps toward becoming stressfree was realizing that -dont need fevered anxiety to keep me alert or friendly -Thinking Exercise Falling Asleep Among Friends -Take an extreme example of relaxation sleepiness Most of us dont allow ourselves to be -sleepy around others was so socially hypervigilant that was completely unable to fall -asleep or even become drowsy even in the company of friends If you work on being able to -feel tired or even fall asleep right in front of other people you will reduce your social -hypervigilance The next time you are among friends or family try to nod off It proves to -others that you are not afraid of them or what they might do to you once you are -unconscious It demonstrates to them that you see them as allies and that you wouldnt -attack them if they fell asleep Most importantly it proves to your biological system that -completely lowering your guard among friends is not taking a risk -When cortisol levels lower for weeks or months the cerebral cortex exhibits a remarkable -capacity for healing Many of the cellular changes of stress that compromise intelligence -reverse completely Mammals in lowstress conditions produce large amounts of beneficial -neurochemicals and brain growth factors The absence of stressors stimulates neural stem cell -proliferation in the learning areas of the brain As you know from Chapter the relaxation -response which can be induced by meditation and breathing practices is characterized by a -distinct gene transcription profile This means that relaxation results in the expression of an -Chapter Think Peacefully -entirely different set of genes designed to build the mind and body up as opposed to tearing -it down -When you start operating without stress you will feel dull for a few days However -after a few weeks and months of living at this calmer level you will find yourself regaining mental -aptitude feel my memory and attention are better than they have been in over a decade -attribute this to meditation mindfulness and once again to diaphragmatic retraining -Diaphragmatic Breathing and Unbracing the Mind -if a mans mind becomes pure his surroundings will also become pure Buddha c BCE BCE -Judging resisting attaching and craving make us tense and cause us to breathe shallowly -Shallow breathing and muscle tension are preparatory Because they keep us on guard for -negative occurrences we cant help but think negative thoughts When you start breathing -diaphragmatically you are sending your body a signal that nothing bad can happen -Diaphragmatic breathing allows us to coexist with our thoughts peacefully and it is the most -reliable way to find rest in the present moment Many clinical researchers agree that breathing -diaphragmatically fills the mind with unprovocative content It disconnects you from the fear -grief and startle systems of the brain that seek out desperate lastditch tactics -Diaphragmatic breathing is a core component of most meditative practices especially -mindfulness Mindfulness practitioners notice the sensations arising from the stomach and -chest and listen to the sound of the air as it passes through the nostrils Focus is placed on -taking longer steadier breaths and on the abdamens movement to ensure that the diaphragm -is engaged To this end practitioners often think about the word rising when breathing in and -the word falling when breathing out Some visualize inhaling positivity and exhaling -negativity To promote belly breathing they also imagine that the air they breathe enters the -navel fills the stomach and then exits the navel If one becomes distracted from the breath -they acknowledge this nonjudgmentally and return to focused breathing Mindfulness is also -commonly combined with progressive relaxation and episodes of scanning the body for the -tension we experienced in Chapter -Being aware of your breath forces you into the present momentthe key to all inner transformation Whenever -you are conscious of the breath you are absolutely present You may also notice that you cannot think and be -aware of your breathing Conscious breathing stops your mind But far from being in a trance or half asleep you -are fully awake and highly alert You are not falling below thinking but rising above it Eckhart Tolle b -The quote above reaffirms the thinking of many spiritual leaders They know that breath -awareness helps us refrain from gasping and shallow breathing However mere breath -awareness is not enough to shift you into a parasympathetic state Paced breathing is much -more effective in this regard Paced breathing allows you to permanently lengthen deepen -and smoothen your breath which does much more to rectify your thought patterns Moreover -once the functioning of your diaphragm is improved you dont have to worry about staying -aware of your breathing or constantly living in the now Diaphragmatic retraining makes it so -that you dont have to hide from the past or future or retreat to the present moment just to -stop negative thinking -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Before started paced breathing my internal monologue was full of argumentation often -could not stop myself from playing out the most dismaying and socially awkward events in my -head constantly fought people in my mind saying spiteful things that would never say in real -life would practice ridiculing people that had wronged me in an attempt to provoke an -altercation was trying to finetune my angry personality to be convincing quickwitted and -sharptongued was practicing hate -This had been going on for years but it ended very abruptly Only one month after started -paced breathing with a breath metronome my inner speech lost its violent negativity no -longer had any hot buttons for people to press and felt nothing that anyone could say could -make me lose my cool Years of meditation breath awareness and living in the present -moment led to modest gains My entire ethos was transformed by only a single month of paced -breathing minutes a day -Sustained Firing and Reconsolidation -When a thought shortens your breath it is given priority Upsetting thoughts stimulate the -release of the brain chemical dopamine Dopamine then amplifies the thoughts vexing aspects -by causing the neurons involved to fire for longer periods This extended cellular activity is a -phenomenon in neuroscience known as sustained firing Thus dopamine makes sure that the -subjects we deem important either because they are rewarding or punishing are kept active in -mind longer Whether you are excited about something going well or worried about it going -wrong dopamine causes the emotional elements of the situation to be retained in the stream -of thought Because the relevant brain cells keep firing you cant help but think about those -elements for a while -The thoughts that upset us are lasting due to our neurochemistry However when you -dont allow upsetting thoughts to decrease the length of your breath as when paced -breathing the startle doesnt happen the dopamine doesnt surge and the activity of the -neurons that code for the upsetting aspects of the thought is not sustained The thought enters -and then quickly exits the mind without feeling compelling Any time you recognize a disturbing -thought forming focus on prolonging the breath and eliminating the discontinuities This will -negate the thought and make it and others like it less likely to revisit you in the future Lucky -for us this wont diminish dopamines response to positive thoughts which works via a -different mechanism -When you practice paced breathing pay attention to your train of thought and notice how -your mind refuses to cling to worry An alarming idea that would usually capture your attention -now seems inconsequential This will permanently alter how you feel about that topic by -physically changing its memory trace in the brain Consolidation is the name for the complex -brain processes responsible for turning a fleeting experience into a longterm memory -Reconsolidation is the name for the reevaluative process that occurs whenever a memory is -recalled Emotional reconsolidation happens each time something is remembered and it can -be either positive or negative -Psychotherapists coax patients into remembering and talking about their past traumas -trying to get the patient to reprocess the memory in a better light reconsolidating it in a way -that is not as troublesome When one speaks to a friendly therapist seated in a comfortable -Chapter Think Peacefully -chair that safe environment reframes the traumatic memory Similarly every memory you -recall during a paced breathing episode will be retrieved in a more relaxed affective context -Memories that are normally retrieved under sympathetic dominance are now being retrieved -and reconsolidated under parasympathetic dominance systematically desensitizing you This is -how paced breathing rewires the default mode network deflates fear and grief and -reconstructs personhood -Prolonged Diaphragmatic Breathing Reconsolidates Traumatic Memories -recommend that you try engaging in paced diaphragmatic breathing for two full hours It will -heighten parasympathetic activity placing you into a peaceful mental and physiological state -Every thought you have in this state will be reframed and reconsolidated as harmless After my -first hour of uninterrupted paced breathing with a metronome could tell everything my mind -turned to was cleansed with peace -You may find some psychological roadblocks Many people start to panic when their senses -tell them that they are too calm However if you keep breathing to the metronome you will -pass through these blockages The first time set out to do this my mind unconsciously and -vividly recalled three of the most traumatic incidents of my life within the first hour One was a -disagreement with a group of friends one was a time of personal embarrassment and one was -a situation that led to a violent attack These memories made me desperately want to switch -back to distressed breathing -It was almost as if my brain was saying Jared you are calmer than you have been in years -right now Is it safe to be this calm Remember these terrifying circumstances that upregulated -your cardiovascular stress system Is there a good reason to relax in the face of these past -challenges How do you you know these threats will not recur tried to reassure my body -that it was okay to sink below these arousing scenarios All had to do was keep breathing to -the metronome Those three harrowing incidents never bothered me again -Thinking Exercise Prolonged Diaphragmatic Breathing -Perform two hours of paced breathing guided by your breath metronome Set your breath -metronome at a moderate interval that will be easy to maintain for two hours You might -want to start with or use or Because you will be performing this for two -hours you do not need to inhale or exhale completely just make sure that you are taking -relatively deep breaths Monitor your body and mind as you achieve a new level of alertness -and relaxation -The first few times do this while lying down sitting or relaxing Later try it while stretching -reading or even while watching a movie You might perform this prolonged paced breathing -session in an area that would otherwise cause stress such as an empty auditorium where you -plan to give a speech or in your dining room where you plan to entertain guests Pair it with -anything you want to calm your bodys response to including fear foreboding pain nausea -loathing or as we will discuss in Chapter hunger -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -You might want to combine extended diaphragmatic breathing with a venting session -You could do this during psychotherapy during a talk with a friend or in writing The subjective -intensity of negative emotions diminishes when feelings are put into words and studies show -that there is something highly therapeutic about putting these words on paper Writing about -past hardships has demonstrated powerful clinical benefits It is called writing exposure -therapy The emotional sting is thought to be extracted when a person reconsolidates and -recontextualizes negative memories in this way You should find that writing or speaking -about past adversity while paced breathing brings resolution and finality to lingering woes -Thinking Exercise Writing Therapy -Spend minutes writing about past difficulties These can be the most traumatic incidents -in your life or just ongoing frustrations Express your deepest feelings about your fears griefs -guilts insecurities and any other malignancies subverting your thought Confront the -vexations headon eye to eye by describing them in detail You might also write about how -these issues make you feel how they have affected you in the past and how you plan to -address them in the future -Dont worry about grammar or sentence structure You can save your work but you dont -have to if you dont want to Just write for the entire minutes while paced breathing If -you dont have time to write have this conversation verbally with yourself Speak to yourself -authentically and compassionately with the focus on consoling your fear and grief systems -Negotiate armistice and find closure using paced breathing as your impartial arbitrator -Conclusion -The mind is the master controller of an intricate multidirectional communication system linking -the brain immune system heart lungs and all the bodys organs The physical health of these -parts is largely determined by your mental outlook and your outlook is determined by your -breathing pattern Most people operate on the unconscious assumption that we need shallow -breathing muscular tension and the accompanying panicked thoughts to stay safe come -across as intelligent be socially appropriate avoid rejection and remain occupationally -productive This is rarely true even in the short run -Chapter Think Peacefully -Chapter Bullet Points -e The fear and grief centers of our brains have been recruited as part of the default -network This makes negative thinking exceedingly difficult to stop -e Disengage from fear and grief by repeatedly envisioning yourself as nonjudgmental -nonresistant and nonattached -e Learn to reframe stressors live in the present moment and recognize thoughts for what -they are just thoughts -e The worstcase scenarios that we worry about so much rarely come to pass -e Recognize that many of your concerns are just defensive pessimism disguised as -practicality -e Negative thinking is a trance Snap yourself out of it -e Acute stress may give you a slight temporary advantage in some immediate situations -but chronic stress is a disadvantage in all situations -e Keep in mind that the calmer you are the better prepared you are to respond -to adversity -e Recognize that you do not need anxiety to be alert cogent and socially functional -e Negative thoughts broadcast unhealthy biological signals to the entire body The more -airtime you give to negative thinking the unhealthier you will become -e Stressed thinking causes important brain areas like the hippocampus and PFC -to physically degenerate whereas the absence of stress causes them to flourish -e Dont let the downsides of stress as described here cause you to fear stress or anxiety -You might even find that your anxiety calms if you allow yourself to feel free to be as -anxious as you want -e Prolonged paced diaphragmatic breathing strips negative thoughts and memories of -their ability to abduct your train of thought -e There is no good reason to be reprocessing insecurities from months or years ago If you -have already made an effort to compensate for them let them go -e Try being dead calm first by yourself and then with others -e Minimize replaying or imagining negative social scenarios especially confrontational or -violent ones -e Bevery calm when you model social interactions in your head -e Bevery calm in social situations Retain complete composure Make being calm a -priority in your life eclipsing the fear of appearing rude or unsophisticated -e Expect that the most relaxed version of you has what it takes to resolve any scenario -e The dominant monkey is not stressed because it believes in its ability to deal with -whatever new hardship comes along It trusts that it doesnt have to overthink things to -react adeptly to any circumstance -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Classic Stoic Quotes -Choose not to be harmedand you wont feel harmed Dont feel harmedand you havent -been Marcus Aurelius -What ought one to say then as each hardship comes was practicing for this was training -for this Epictetus -The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths Remain steadfast and one day -you will build something that endures something worthy of your potential Epictetus -On the occasion of every accident that befalls you remember to turn to yourself and inquire -what power you have for turning it to use Epictetus -Here is a rule to remember in future when anything tempts you to feel bitter not This is -misfortune but To bear this worthily is good fortune Marcus Aurelius -You dont have to turn this into something It doesnt have to upset you Marcus Aurelius -We suffer more often in imagination than in reality You want to live but do you know how to -live You are scared of dying but tell me is the kind of life you lead really any different to being -dead Seneca -It is not the man who has too little but the man who craves more that is poor Seneca -The chief task in life is simply this to identify and separate matters so that can say clearly to -myself which are externals not under my control and which have to do with the choices -actually control Where then do look for good and evil Not to uncontrollable externals but -within myself to the choices that are my own Epictetus -The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts Marcus Aurelius -Constant misfortune brings this one blessing to whom it always assails it eventually fortifies -Seneca -lf you are pained by any external thing it is not this thing that disturbs you but your own -judgment about it Marcus Aurelius -Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not but reckon up the chief of the blessings -you do possess and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were -not yours Marcus Aurelius -Chapter Think Peacefully -Classic Quotes from the Buddha -We are shaped by our thoughts we become what we think When the mind is pure -joy follows like a shadow that never leaves -If you light a lamp for somebody it will also brighten your path -The whole secret of existence is to have no fear -Pain is certain suffering is optional -Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be -shortened Happiness never decreases by being shared -It is a mans own mind not his enemy or foe that lures him to evil ways -We are shaped by our thoughts we become what we think When the mind is pure -joy follows like a shadow that never leaves -There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind and there is nothing so obedient as a -disciplined mind -Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts -The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past worry about the -future or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly -To keep the body in good health is a dutyotherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind -strong and clear -f the problem can be solved why worry If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you -no good -A man is not called wise because he talks and talks again but is he peaceful loving and -fearless then he is in truth called wise -Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the wind so are the wise unshaken by praise or blame -Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else -you are the one who gets burned -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Panksepp J Biven L The archaeology of mind Neuroevolutionary origins of -human emotion Norton Company -Ohman A Fear and anxiety Evolutionary cognitive and clinical perspectives -In M Lewis J M HavilandJones Eds Handbook of emotions pp -The Guilford Press -Panksepp Biven The archaeology of mind -Nelson E E Winslow J T Nonhuman primates Model animals for developmental -psychopathology Neuropsychopharmacology -Winslow J T Neuropeptides and nonhuman primate social deficits associated -with pathogenic rearing experience international Journal of Developmental Neuroscience -Bastian M L Sponberg A C Suomi S J Higley J D Longterm effects of -infant rearing condition on the acquisition of dominance rank in juvenile and adult rhesus -macaques Macaca mulatta Developmental Psychobiology -Bzdok D Laird A Zilles K Fox P T Eickhoff S An investigation of the -structural connectional and functional subspecialization in the human amygdala Human Brain -Mapping -Nesse R Young E Evolutionary origins and functions of the stress response -In G Fink Ed Encyclopedia of stress Vol pp Academic Press -Baumeister R F Finkenauer C Vohs K D Bad is stronger than good Review of -General Psychology -Vaish A T Grossman W A Not all emotions are created equal The negativity -bias in socialemotional development Psychological Bulletin -Carlson N R Physiology of behavior Pearson -Burney D A Flannery T F Fifty millennia of catastrophic extinctions after -human contact Trends in Ecology Evolution -Chapter Think Peacefully -Horn A Ostwald D Reisert M Blankenburg F The structuralfunctional -connectome and the default mode network of the human brain Neurolmage -Pt -Walsh R Shapiro S L The meeting of meditative disciplines and western -psychology A mutually enriching dialogue American Psychologist -Billington R Understanding Eastern Philosophy Routledge -Creswell J D Mindfulness interventions Annual Review of Psychology -KabatZinn J Full catastrophe living Using the wisdom of your body and mind to -face stress pain and illness Delta Trade Paperbacks -Gu J Strauss C Bond R Cavanagh K How do mindfulnessbased cognitive -therapy and mindfulnessbased stress reduction improve mental health and wellbeing A -systematic review and metaanalysis of mediation studies Clinical Psychology Review -Hdlzel B K Lazar S W Gard T SchumanOlivier Z Vago D R Ott U -How does mindfulness meditation work Proposing mechanisms of action from a conceptual -and neural perspective Perspectives on Psychological Science -Sharma M Rush S E Mindfulnessbased stress reduction as a stress -management intervention for healthy individuals a systematic review Journal of Evidence -Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Gotink R A Chu P -Busschbach J J Benson H Fricchione G L Hunink M G Standardised -mindfulnessbased interventions in healthcare An overview of systematic reviews and -metaanalyses of RCTs PLOS ONE e -Foy MR Kim J J Shors T J Thompson R F Neurobiological foundations -of stress In S Yehuda D Mostofsky Eds Nutrients stress and medical disorders -Humana Press -Liston C McEwen B S Casey B J Psychosocial stress reversibly disrupts -prefrontal processing and attentional control Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences -Sapolsky R M Stress and plasticity in the limbic system -Neurochemical Research -Reser J E Chronic stress cortical plasticity and neuroecology -Behavioral Processes -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science -Roozendaal B McEwen B S Chattarji S Stress memory and the amygdala -Nature Reviews Neuroscience -Cohen S JanickiDeverts D Miller G E Psychological stress and disease -JAMA -LeDoux J The emotional brain The mysterious underpinnings of emotional life -Simon and Schuster -Reser J Schizophrenia and phenotypic plasticity Schizophrenia may represent a -predicitive adaptive response to severe environmental adversity that allows both bioenergetic -thrift and a defensive behavioral strategy Medical Hypotheses Reser J E -Chronic stress cortical plasticity and neuroecology Behavioral Processes -Day J J Carelli R M The nucleus accumbens and Pavlovian reward learning -Neuroscientist Martinowich K Lu B Interaction between BDNF and -serotonin Role in mood disorders Neuropsychopharmacology -Haglund M E M Nestadt P S Cooper N S Southwick S M Charney D S -Psychobiological mechanisms of resilience Relevance to prevention and treatment of stress -related psychopathology Development and Psychopathology Kandel E R -Schwartz J H Jessell T M Principles of neural science th ed McGrawHill -Dusek J A Otu H H Wohlhueter A L Bhasin M Zerbini L F Joseph M G Benson -H Liebermann T A Genomic counterstress changes induced by the relaxation -response PLoS One e -Philippot P Gaetane C Blairy S Respiratory feedback in the generation of -emotion Cognition and Emotion -GoldmanRakic P S Cellular basis of working memory Neuron -Seamans J K Robbins T W Dopamine modulation of the prefrontal cortex and -cognitive function In K Neve Ed The Dopamine Receptors pp Humana Press -Ecker B Ticic R Hulley L Unlocking the emotional brain Eliminating symptoms -at their roots using memory reconsolidation Routledge -Chapter Think Peacefully -Hardt O Einarsson E O Nader K A bridge over troubled water -Reconsolidation as a link between cognitive and neuroscientific memory research traditions -Annual Review of Psychology -Centonze D Siracusano A Calabresi P Bernardi G Removing pathogenic -memories a neurobiology of psychotherapy Molecular Neurobiology -Lieberman M D Inagaki T K Tabibnia G Crockette M J Subjective -responses to emotional stimuli during labelling reappraisal and distraction Emotion -Baikie K A Wilhelm K Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive -writing Advances in Psychiatric Treatment -Pennebaker J W Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process -Psychological Science -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -What is a face To answer this question we must also consider heads and brains The brain -head and face are located together because we evolved from wormlike creatures As worms -move through mud it is helpful for them to analyze new soil along the way The head and its -various sensory organs are placed in the front of the animal to relay information about the -immediate and impending environment This is why the mouth tongue nose eyes and ears -are grouped so close together A face is a cluster of sensory organs and in mammals its -appearance offers insight into intentions and wellbeing -Fish amphibians and reptiles cannot make facial expressions and can only open and close -their eyes nose and mouth Unlike mammals these animals do not have muscles that attach -to the skin of the face Therefore their facial skin is immobile and essentially devoid of -expression The facial muscles of mammals act as sphincters constricting the area they -circumscribe eyes and mouth or as tractors pulling at their attachments cheeks brow chin -These various muscles bring the faces of mammals to life allow communication and when -contracted alter the animals outlook on its environment -The facial muscles of mammals interact extensively with unconscious areas of the brain -Many specialized neurological modules send output to andor receive input from the facial -muscles These include the fear and grief systems and this is how stress is able to act asa -puppeteer for our facial expressions When the facial muscles are chronically activated by -negative emotions they undergo repetitive strain As we will see in this chapter the partial -contraction of facial muscles has numerous harmful repercussions Most mammals have little -awareness of their facial tension and like a puppet almost no capacity to exercise deliberate -control over their facial muscles This chapter will focus on how to develop those capacities -Illustration Facial muscles of A human B Chimpanzee C Macaque monkey D Mouse -Refrain from Subliminal Grimacing and Frowning -woke up one morning an hour before my alarm clock sounded realized was too roused to -get back to sleep so practiced a few yoga poses and laid back down to meditate was doing -so concertedly concentrating on abating my chaotic thinking patterns turned my attention to -the recurring waves of negativism crashing on the shoreline of my consciousness was trying -to methodically break them up by examining the sensations involved After several minutes -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -of this the turbulent waters in my mind went still It took me a minute to realize how was able -to do this was slowly relaxing a lowgrade persistent grimace from my face that must have -learned to ignore many years previously This grimace that afflicts all of us is subtle and barely -perceptible in a mirror stayed in bed for a full hour trying to keep the contorted expression -from repossessing me As soon as my mind wandered the tension around my eyes and nose -would resurface and my contentious thoughts would return -We are constantly bracing our facial musculature This causes repetitive strain trigger -points muscle shortening and the development of stiff achy dormant muscles in the face -Though this has not been thoroughly investigated scientifically imagine that the pain -messages sent to our brains emotional centers from strained facial muscles are particularly -tormenting Spend some time contemplating this and attempt to bring awareness to the feeling -of grimacing -Facial Exercise Observe Your Facial Wincing and Grimacing -Lie down in complete comfort and concentrate on the tone in your facial muscles Try to relax -your face completely and notice how the scowl returns on its own Each time you notice it -allow your face to turn placid again Notice how your expression is affected by your thoughts -and vice versa Focus on the areas that seem to tighten the most in response to negative -thinking As with the progressive relaxation exercise from Chapter proceed from the top of -your face to the bottom taking notice of any tension in the brow and around the eyes -cheeks nose lips and then the chin The more time you spend doing this the more aware -of your scowl you will become and the better you will be at controlling it After a few weeks -of facial awareness grimacing will feel uncomfortable and unnecessary like reopening -a wound -You might be a little skeptical You might not believe that the source of your mental -hardship is your frown Nevertheless imagine a diminutive monkey Imagine this monkey was -horrendously traumatized as a baby and ever since has trod around with a wry wince on his -little face Just imagine how this would affect his inner world his encounters with others and -their impressions of him He would inevitably perceive things as more adverse than they are -due to the powerful interrelationships between bodily expression emotional condition and -social feedback Monitor your face carefully the next time you are speaking on the phone Are -you unwittingly using expressions of pain and subordination -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -Illustration A B C D Monkeys wincing -The facial feedback hypothesis holds that facial movement and emotional experience -constantly interact with each other below the level of conscious awareness Charles Darwin -was among the first to suggest this He wrote The free expression by outward signs of an -emotion intensifies it On the other hand the repression as far as this is possible of all outward -signs softens our emotions Even the simulation of an emotion tends to arouse it in our -minds Multiple concurring studies have supported this view For instance people asked to -hold a pencil between their teeth forcing them to smile unconsciously report better emotions -during this episode than control groups that held the pencil between their lips Botox injections -have been shown to decrease negative affect by reducing tension in the eyes and forehead -Individuals who have had Botox injections exhibit decreased activation of brain areas that -process negative emotions such as the amygdala Frowns tie you to aversive mental states -This suggests to me that a frown burned in from years of repetitive strain anchors you to them -Breaking My Nose Damaged My Facial Composure -A few days after discovering the wince on my face had a cup of coffee and bedded down in -my closet for three hours in a search for the source of tension in my mind was in total -darkness wearing noisereducing earmuffs in corpse pose with my breath metronome went -into the experience believing that some repeating thought pattern maintained my restlessness -waited for this pattern so that could observe it and figure out how to interrupt it However -the substrate of this pattern was not psychological as expected Instead it was again facial -must have been ignoring the sensation for years but it was clear and unmistakable -when it finally reemerged into consciousness Lying in the dark felt a tingling sensation in the -muscles surrounding my nose realized that these muscles were highly contracted The -muscles involved included the procerus the nasalis and the evator abii For the first time -could tell that even when thought was relaxing my face these muscles were still in overdrive -All at once felt practically like was hanging from the ceiling suspended by chains with a meat -hook piercing the bridge of my nose -It took an hour of meditative thought and exploration even to notice However once -became aware of the sensations around my nose they were impossible to ignore Within a few -more minutes realized that these sensations were the consequence of having my nose broken -inside a McDonalds at age The blow had shattered my nasal bone in several places and -fractured my septum and maxilla It split my nasalis muscle into two parts and it must have -also affected the nearby musculature and nerves realized that this injury had entrenched -my wincing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -For the first several minutes had no voluntary control over these nasal muscles eventually -found the muscles by trial and error over the course of an hour Actually first had to learn to -clench the muscles before could learn to relax them Each time actively tightened or relaxed -the muscle it would tingle and feel numb due to the nerve damage Of course my experience -was extreme but we all hold our faces in a fixed expression of emotional trauma -Having my nose broken damaged my nasal muscles and nerves and gave my face a dull -inattentive look that tried to compensate for by keeping my nose and eyes tight Especially in -social situations attempted to make up for the hypotonia with hypertonia to bring some life -and energy back to damaged facial expressions This made my social interactions neurotic -The unremitting wincing compromised my composure and social standing resulting in -sympathetic upregulation -Coincidentally this type of damage also happened to my cat Niko The little guy -approached a birds nest and a protective mother bird dove down and pecked him between -the eyes creating a deep gash down to the bone Nikos face looked dim for at least a month -because his brow and nasal muscles had been injured He looked disfigured for a few weeks -but eventually his eyes returned to their former state Luckily unlike me Niko did not try to -compensate for the damage by bracing This is why he didnt experience any lasting effects -Much of our facial tension comes from attempts to compensate for appearing haggard -unattractive or inattentive Sometimes we use our facial tension as an outward apology for -our appearance It often says Hey believe me know that dont look so great right now -Telling myself the following helped me know that Im ugly at times Im not afraid or -ashamed of appearing grotesque and in that retain dignity There is no reason to apologize for -my unsightliness with a grimace How do you brace your face when you feel ugly Identify it -and stop it -Submissive Mammals Have More Facial Tension -Of course facial bracing also comes from our perceived place in the status hierarchy More -dominant people and primates dont just brace their bodies less they also brace their faces -less By contrast the least dominant primates have permanent appeasement expressions -plastered on their faces -Introverted and shy people tend to become tense in social situations Their chakralike -modules develop tension quickly and they exhibit various forms of the energywasting -behavior discussed in Chapter They quickly start to squint sneer and hold tension all over -the body Social pressures add up fast and after just a few minutes of interacting with others -the introverted person starts to feel drained exhausted and like they want to escape Many -introverted people fake being extroverts until their trigger points have gone from latent to -active then they feel spent and try to get away from the crowd so that they can relax and -refuel know this behavior pattern well It was my social reality for years -Chapter discussed systematically removing extraneous bracing efforts from daily -activities Activity from Chapter asked you to notice your bracing habits while you brush -your teeth Now you must do the same thing for socializing How do you tense your face -unnecessarily when talking to others How does it extend down your neck and into the rest of -your body If you systematically eliminated the bracing from all your chakralike modules -during conversation and socialization you would become the most adept extrovert ever -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -You could work a room full of people without ever tiring Using the exercises in this book along -with selfawareness and diaphragmatic breathing you could make this your social reality -Facial Tension and Personality -There is a perpetual clenching squirming and cringing going on behind our faces that robs us of -our facial poise The muscles tighten when we are at the gym when embarrassed or when the -phone rings We should see this as gratuitous affectation Micrometabolic studies of the -anatomy of your facial musculature would reveal that some facial muscles hold more tension -than others Everyone has a different pattern of tension involving different parts of the face -These patterns are as distinct as fingerprints Some people may have tighter lips and others -tighter foreheads Even the three auricular muscles surrounding the ears hold tremendous -tension in some people but not in others -Young infants faces show high base rates of random combinatorial activity enabling -parents to shape a repertoire of conventional displays Infants more or less unconsciously -assess the feedback that people give them and alter their facial patterns accordingly Trial -error and trauma program young children to brace their eyes cheeks and jaws in certain ways -This in turn distributes tension to different anatomical areas and results in a unique pattern of -chronic muscular contractions -believe that these distinct patterns have strong associations with different features of -personality For instance am convinced that people who hold trigger points and shortening in -the muscle between the eyebrows the procerus which causes the brow to furrow into a -frown are more keenly possessed by anger These people wear a lowgrade menacing glower -that can contaminate their minds Any form of facial tension tarnishes our thinking to -some degree -Have you ever noticed that a friends face can change drastically if they go through a -prolonged period of grieving Again this is due to tension and without massage it will never -totally reverse even after the persons reason for mourning subsides believe that the blow to -the face experienced as a teenager made me an inveterate sneerer Similarly the peasized -knot that had one centimeter below each eye made me a perpetual squinter Where do you -hold your facial tension -Facial Activity Warming the Face in a Hot Shower -The next time you shower turn the heat up not enough to hurt and place your face under -the showerhead Allow your face to heat up for a full seconds After a minute turn the -water off completely and focus all your attention on your face This is the perfect time to try -to contract and relax your facial muscles because heated muscles work differently on a -cellular level in a way that you are not accustomed to You will notice how the tension is -amplified and that it contorts your face You have about a minute to analyze the experience -before it cools enough that the sensations end This will pinpoint what you should be trying -to relax -You can also use a facial mask to get instant biofeedback about the tension in your face -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Facial Activity Using a Facial Mask -Facial masks are usually made of clay mud creams or paper cutouts They are marketed as -products that improve the appearance of the face People who use them claim they hydrate -the skin and remove excess oils They also happen to be a powerful form of biofeedback that -should be taken advantage of by women and men alike After the mask begins to dry it sticks -to your skin making any movement that your face makes highly noticeable You will sense -resistance from the mask from any facial stress that you hold Using a facial mask and trying -to minimize any facial tension while employing a breath metronome can be an immensely -powerful healing experience It will teach you to breathe easily while expressionless -Master Expressionlessness and Own Your Face -The most important step in relaxing the facial muscles is to learn how to make a face with -absolutely no expression To do this you must allow your face to go dead by turning your face -off at the source At first this will look offputting and very unattractive Expressionlessness is -the visage that many of us try to avoid making because it can convey exhaustion and disdain -Withholding your customary facial bracing can make you look evil cruel or irate was inspired -to try expressionlessness after seeing my friend with schizophrenia on tranquilizers and -sedatives The physical ravages of stress and heavy facial bracing were more apparent than ever -because they were contrasted with his complete facial limpness He looked burned out and -completely out of touch with reality We all fear the social consequences of looking that way -But our face can never truly rest unless we do -The strange truth is that this hideous nonexpressive face is actually the most beautiful -version of you waiting to emerge The ghastly aspect is only due to the incongruity between the -relaxation and the trigger points Once the trigger points are gone the relaxation will look -natural Practicing expressionlessness using the exercises in this chapter will get rid of the active -trigger points and using the facial massage techniques in the next chapter will get rid of the -latent ones -Working on your expressionless face will be difficult at first You have to teach yourself to -turn off each portion of your face individually It will help to focus on relaxing the muscles -around your eyes relaxing your cheeks and allowing your jaw to gape and go slack Think of it -as an extension of corpse posea corpse face Focus especially hard on maintaining it when -you are by yourself and before you go to sleep You want to sleep every night as if every muscle -in your face jaw and throat are paralyzed How you look at yourself in the mirror is also -decisive When we look in the mirror we usually don our customary social mask Instead -ensure that your expression is not tense and that you dont grimace sneer squint or raise your -eyebrows -When you look at the ground your face is capable of becoming very calm It is easy to be -calm when looking down because you are not challenging anyone when your gaze is below -their eye line However when you look up again this calmness disappears in fear of offending -someone In the next activity dont let it disappear -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -Facial Exercise Conserving the Calm -Look down at the ground by lowering your eyes and head toward the floor Next try to look -completely relaxed It may take a few seconds for you to configure this Then try to -maintain this same face as you look up It will be challenging at first but keep working on it -This should be your default facial posture You may want to try this a different way Lie down -close your eyes and make the face you usually make during sleep Then sit up straight with -your eyes open wide wearing the exact same sleeping face For this to work you must -completely let down your customary guard -We walk around with tense faces because we are concerned that if someone sees our -expressionless face they will assume we are angry But when actually affronted we feel -entitled to be able to drop all formalities Many people are only expressionless when angry -noticed this one day when became outraged and suddenly all the social facial tension had -been trying to let go of disappeared on its own -Facial Activity Feigned Anger -Pretend a friend informs you that some other people said something derogatory about you -that you do not deserve For the first time in a long time you dont care what anyone thinks -about the way your face looks at the moment You are mad You are full of righteous -indignation Allow yourself to appear so cold sullen and uninviting that it makes bystanders -shiver You want a carnivorous look that says Ill eat you Dont make an angry face just -allow your anger to drain all pleasantries from your face Feel this absorb it Now strip the -negativity from it and make it your own -The indignation and anger you used in the exercise above are negative emotions so dont -use them too often Boredom is less extreme and almost equally as helpful If you ever feel the -need to regain your repose pretend you are bored -Facial Exercise Feigned Boredom and Tiredness -Spend a minute looking exceptionally invariably bored Next try looking overtired and -sleepy as if you have been up for five days straight Then spend a minute looking both bored -and tired but with wide eyes This instantly transforms boredom into a type of calm interest -Next while maintaining the calm elements of this expression move toward a face that -exhibits compassion or perhaps an appreciation of beauty Finally work in a smile and turn -the expression into one of happiness Return to indignance boredom or sleepiness as -needed to reset your face capture the expressionlessness from it and channel that into your -calm happy face -After you spend a few months pairing expressionlessness with diaphragmatic breathing -you will have alleviated much of your facial tension While working on expressionlessness you -may have to deaden your smile and some of the light in your eyes However after a short -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -hiatus when you reemploy many of your old expressions you will find that they are -unadulterated by the pained tension that previously accompanied them It is akin to breaking -an unhealthy system into its component parts and removing the unhealthy ones to build it back -up anew -Facial Activity Expressionless Running -The next time you run jog or exercise aerobically concentrate on maintaining an -expressionless face It takes practice to relax the face during physical exertion but it will -make it much easier to stay relaxed when you are not exerting yourself While exercising -focus on keeping your eyes wide and otherwise allow your entire face to go limp Think of -this as your game face -At first it will be uncomfortable to stay calm while keeping a straight face You may notice -that you easily break into a nervous smile a spontaneous laugh or a blush This is because -when you start out trying to look expressionless your body will compensate by adding tension -in other areas Facial expressionlessness will cause you to unconsciously tighten your neck -constrict your vocal folds or speed up your heart Notice this It is often a balancing act so that -when you relax one aspect another tightens up This happens because your body keeps -combinatorial records of the postures that are safe to have all at once You have to create new -healthier records where all the optimal postures are being used together simultaneously -We dont feel comfortable socially when our faces are at rest so facial rest is usually paired -with distressed breathing Taking on an expressionless face generally causes us to breathe -shallowly squint and look at the floor At first it will be hard to do it while maintaining eye -contact But this is all reversible Practice expressionlessness with paced breathing wide eyes -and looking upward along with the fixed gaze exercise from Chapter The more you can -breathe diaphragmatically while maintaining a nonexpressive face the more natural and -healthylooking it will become -Use Expressionlessness in Social Situations -We use facial tension to communicate things like Sorry for interrupting you may be wrong -about this or hope you like me Thus the tension becomes an integral part of our social -selfpresentation When you remove it you must radically rethink your social deliveries Your -very personality will change When allowing your face to be calm you have to come to grips -with the fact that some people wont like the way you look and will question why you have -allowed your face to be so lax At first took expressionlessness too far stopped smiling at -service employees treated other people like robots stopped connecting with people -emotionally and had the appearance of deadness Avoid this Use it alone use it in public but -dont take it too far especially in the company of friends -Although you may try to present a completely calm face you probably still look defensive -This is because you assume that other people will interpret your expressionless face as -competitive and you make a preemptive negative face This keeps it from being truly calm All -you must do to ensure a socially sensitive expressionless face is to widen the eyes and breathe -diaphragmatically Trust that taking long deep slow breaths will wipe away the negative -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -aspect Welcome looking like a doe in the headlights acting like you are imploring someone or -appearing naive Dont be afraid of playing the part of an inquisitive toddler with puppydog -eyes Sometimes the most powerful countenance is that of a funloving child -An authentically calm face is actually endearing Chapter discussed how subordinate apes -avoid eye contact and how direct looking can be a threat signal Expressionlessness can change -this When a chimpanzee gazes at another that is not using any apprehensive signals such as -pursing the lips frowning or glaring it does not appraise it as threatening Expressionlessness -free from negativity will make your eye contact more inviting opening social doors for you -Allow me to offer some words and phrases that may help guide you in finding your new look -Ultimately you want to imbue your expressionlessness with a cool elegant urbane sheen lam -not talking about being distant detached aloof or unsociable Rather think about these words -dispassionate collected imperturbable unflappable unruffled serene free from agitation You -want a sedate disposition stemming from selfdiscipline You want temperate selfassurance that -suggests indifference You want an easy casualness even under heavy provocation -You might also try to incorporate a look of stoic decorum find the definition of the word -stoic to be inspiring a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their -feelings or complaining When started focusing on appearing stoic suddenly lost the tough -guy shtick because stoicism is not a competition It is an internal discipline Make your -appearance resigned to drama with no trace of protest Create your own calm facial expression -that you truly believe is warm and positive If you believe it it will come across as clear as day -The ultimate extension of this is to make your facial expressions and eye contact emanate a -relaxed loving kindness -Social Disapproval of Your Expressionlessness -remember when first started forcing myself to walk on the sidewalk with an expressionless -face was genuinely worried that someone driving by would become infuriated with me -because my face was too calm was concerned that someone would literally see my face -through their windshield from to feet away pull their car over and try to fight me over it -had to overcome delusions like this before could let my face tranquilize Do you Start -making this expressionless face alone in your room so that social concerns dont start to -manipulate your facial muscles without your awareness Next try it walking around your home -or neighborhood Slowly work up to being in a store a restaurant or other public place while -sporting your new calm demeanor -When used during conversation people will question the authenticity of your -expressionlessness thinking that it is artificial One thing they will do is stare at you while you -are looking at something else Bullies do this often They will leave their gaze on you thinking -that if they look long enough you will revert to a more submissive facial posture They -anticipate you will look down lower your chin raise your eyebrows or squint your eyes -Dont submit to their visual inspection of you By underreacting to them you will show them -that it is not a ruse -Bullies will also show false tension in their faces or pretend to lose their composure to bait -you into doing the same Once you follow their cue they instantly revive their composure to -make you look stupid Many people do this Most of them do it halfconsciously It is a -manipulative ploy -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Demonstrate a psychopathic indifference toward other peoples interpretation of your -calm facial posture When they see your expressionlessness and respond with a deadpan look -of their own dont judge their version negatively even if it looks smug Instead act as if you are -glad to see that they are trying to be as calm as you are It is not your responsibility to sink to -the level of the other persons demeanor Instead make it your responsibility to pull them up to -your level -We are already accustomed to receiving disapproving nonverbal feedback from others -when we let our faces relax Many of us had parents who would become outraged if our face -was too calm thinking that we were being flippant sarcastic or obstinate have seen many -children look afraid to appear calm around their parents Kids learn by trial and error to make -pained expressions to defer to parents and teachers This kind of early environmental feedback -makes us feel defensive whenever we sport a calm look -Despite being a decent father in many respects have a friend who is often too dictatorial -with his young daughter To assuage his wrath she squints curls her top lip pouts and pleads -with him in a high voice Daily Her brow wrinkles in a halfcircle from furrowing and raising the -eyebrows at the same time There is no telling how many other internal chakras she strains to -buy mercy -Other parents spoil their children sparing their chakralike modules but causing them to be -undisciplined and disrespectful A good proportion of beautiful and composed people were -spoiled as children Some parents can instill discipline and reverence without traumatizing -and this takes an incredible amount of parenting skill This is the best kind of parent to be -but also the best kind of friend to be -When people see you are stolidly composed they will assume you are likely to mistreat -them When you are kind to them they will be surprised because they assume the only thing -holding most people back from acting abusive is their lack of composure Usually the person -with more composure acts more abusive This is normative and commonly accepted As your -composure improves you may have to fight the urge to take advantage of others You may -have the impulse to be rude scornful or otherwise exploit your privileged position If you are -not a bad person and dear reader am sure you are not as your composure improves you -will become less offensive This is because you will find you have less to act defensive and -oppositional about -The Effect of Tension on the Body During Development -We have discussed how taking on facial and bodily muscle tension is an evolved strategy that -communicates submissiveness to avoid being challenged and attacked There are numerous -similar strategies involving body plan changes even just in primates For example -male orangutans are capable of exhibiting a pronounced developmental hiatus when they -reach the females size What happens next varies Some males go on to develop into full adult -body size along with other mature characteristics such as facial flaps In contrast other males -will enter a prolonged period of physical juvenility arrested growth and development but -otherwise full sexual maturity -Environmental feedback determines whether male orangutans enter this prolonged -juvenile phase or not If their environment stifles their serotonin and testosterone levels they -are more likely to put off full maturity for a few years to avoid competing with the fully mature -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -males Fascinatingly suppression of maturity in orangutans is seen even in males that consider -themselves subordinate to a human groundskeeper If the keeper is replaced or the orangutan -successfully challenges the keeper the orangutan will quickly develop its cheek pads and -full size -Male gorillas do not mature into a full silverback for three to eight years after reaching -sexual maturity Some take much longer than others This gives them more time to develop -skills and relationships before they attempt to become an alpha male This phenomenon in -orangutans gorillas and many other animals is called sexual bimaturism It is evident in -humans as well Males hit puberty two years later than girls This is widely thought to delay the -age in which men are thrust into stressful and potentially dangerous competition with older -more dominant sexually active males -A similar process may be going on with our bodies and faces The combination of distress -and repetitive strain may program muscles all over the body to become weak hypotrophic to -display our place in the pecking order In other words the tension keeps us from being as -muscular and healthy as we could be previously thought that most of the variability in beauty -and robust body type was explained by genes thought alpha animals attained their status by a -stroke of genetic luck Now am convinced that much of it comes from environmental -feedback and developmental plasticity Bad social environments influence children to strain -their faces while good ones encourage children to relax them Tension alters our physiognomy -Over months and years some people look depleted and sickly while others look handsome and -brawny Most of us passively allow the environment to determine how this plays out The -Program Peace exercises can help you actively optimize it -Remember from Chapter that muscles that do not rest cannot heal Relaxed muscles are -capable of full recovery and thus are more responsive to exercise Now that your facial muscles -are capable of resting fully they are capable of becoming more muscular -Facial Exercises That Will Make a Relaxed Face Robust -Use the exercises in this section to contract your facial muscles beyond their normal range and -out of partial contraction To do this flex them as hard as you can while breathing -diaphragmatically Some of the muscles are involved in superiority displays others in inferiority -displays but recommend pairing them all with proper breathing to unlink them from the -sympathetic stress system This will make the superiority displays indubitable and the inferiority -displays playful rather than subordinating -Diaphragmatic generalization will reduce the activation threshold for these muscles -encouraging them to contract spontaneously effortlessly and more frequently This will free -up previously frozen contractions and help you become more expressive Exercising these -muscles to the point of fatigue and then letting them rest completely will also help them grow -stronger and more prominent -Facial Exercise Freeing Up the Face -Spend one minute contracting each of the following ten sets of muscles while performing -paced breathing with a breath metronome Hold a firm contraction until the muscles -tremble burn or reach fatigue After they do focus on letting them go completely limp As -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -the muscles rest resist the tendency to resume bracing After performing these ten exercises -individually feel free to start combining them -Flare your nostrils as wide as you can while keeping the rest of your face relaxed -Many of us are afraid to flare our nostrils because it is a dominance signal It is often -used in other primates as a threat signal Many submissive peoples nostrils are -completely inactive Mine certainly were People with very healthy nostril tone will -unconsciously flare and constrict their nostrils unconsciously as they speak Exercising -them took me from having nearly zero conscious control of them to having full -rhythmic control Building subtle nostril dilation into your facial posture will lend your -face more selfownership Because these muscles extend up into your nose you may -also find that it makes nasal breathing easier -Open your jaw widely and hold it there You might slide it from left to right or move it -in a circular motion This activates the platysma of the neck and many muscles -throughout the jaw Next bring your jaw as far forward underbite and as far back -overbite as you can and perform a chewing motion from these positions The best -default setting for your jaw is about one millimeter to one centimeter open and -wholly relaxed with the lips closed -Squint heavily have recommended not subjecting the orbicularis oculi to strain but -coactivating their firm contraction with diaphragmatic breathing will detraumatize -them and help free them from passive partial contraction So exercise them by -clamping them shut as hard as you can -Raise the eyebrows as high as they will go Hold until the frontalis muscle starts to -fatigue Repeat -Furrow your eyebrows as if you were concerned or angry Slowly alternate between -letting them relax and forcing them to furrow as much as they can Bring the procerus -and corrugator supercilii to full fatigue The ability to be calm while frowning fully will -give your face authority -Raise the chin and bottom lip by contracting the mentalis This is a very powerful and -dominant expression Use it in a friendly way It is a genteel but reserved way to greet -someone Combined with a nod it is a strong way to provide an affirmation -Pull down the sides of the mouth by contracting the depressor labii These muscles -are responsible for the downturning of the corners of the mouth when humans make -the sad face It constitutes what is known as the crying face in apes Use this -expression to play concerned or apologetic -Sneer heavily Use the levator labii superioris to raise the upper lip in an aggressive -sneer Do this with the mouth both closed and wide open Imagine you are a -ferocious monstrosity about to take a tremendous bite out of something Making this -expression will likely cause you to breathe very shallowly Pairing it with diaphragmatic -breathing will unbar this portion of the face making you appear less fearful -Crinkle the nose heavily Crinkling the nose can be a very playful expression that -demonstrates how little tension you hold in your face Most people avoid it because -whenever the muscles contract latent trigger points here become active Exercising it -will first subdue and then purge the trigger points -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -Contract the lips heavily People and apes purse their lips in anger Many of us have -atrophied lip muscles because we are afraid of using this expression If you want to -improve the appearance and increase the size of your lips exercising them will -provide much more naturallooking results than cosmetic injections injections -damage muscle tissue leading to bracing patterns that will eventually cause the lips -to develop asymmetric muscle fiber contractions and become grotesque Attractive -lips are toned not inflated To tone yours pursepucker your lips hard It can help to -do this against an object such as your knuckle the corner of your cell phone or your -wallet Press your lips firmly into the object while extending the lips as far as they can -go until they fatigue -Aside from using these static contractions repeated rhythmic contraction provides other -benefits Perform each of the ten contractions above but instead of holding a prolonged -contraction for a minute contract and release the muscle rapidly times Alternate -between the firmest contraction you can muster and complete relaxation Do this at a rate of -one to three contractions per second with the goal of bringing the muscle to fatigue This not -only builds strength and optimal tone but also coordination which can translate into -interpersonal communicative skills -Illustration A Nostrils flared B Jaw wide C Squinting D Eyebrows raised E Brow furrowed and lowered -F Chin raised G Corners of mouth lowered H Sneering Nose crinkled J Lips puckered -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chewing activates more muscle than any of the facial expressions The muscles of -mastication including the masseter pterygoid and temporalis are large and highly susceptible -to strain had a medical doctor diagnose me with temporomandibular joint dysfunction He -said that the range of motion in my jaw was heavily encumbered and that as a whole my jaw -was badly closed down Exercise below along with the jaw massage described in the next -chapter healed this It ended the pain and cracking It melted the knots away And it resulted in -the same doctor rescinding the diagnosis -Facial Exercise Unstifling the Jaw -Place a folded rag or paper towel in your mouth so that it keeps your teeth from touching -when you bite down Clench your teeth hard during your exhalations and relax the jaw during -inhalations After you carefully warm your jaw up in this way you should be able to clench -harder and harder over several days until you feel safe clenching as hard as you can This will -salvage portions of the masseter that were previously stuck in painful partial contraction and -potentially contributing to headaches Massage the masseter afterward Combining this -practice with gum chewing will cause the back of the jaw to become more muscular and -toned If you want a more strenuous jaw workout you can cut a oneinch by twoinch strip -from a cotton rag and chew it like gum This may be painful at first but it will feel great -within a week and will improve circulation to your gums and the roots of your teeth -Conclusion -My mother an art historian has cataloged and captioned many photographs of early California -pioneers She spent considerable time analyzing portraits of these hardworking rugged people -who survived on a dangerous frontier She said many of the individuals photographed reminded -her of wolves She explained to me that they appeared wild and undomesticated Their faces -seemed less encumbered by a social mask and were emblematic of a cunning phlegmatic -dauntless animal intent on survival Dont wear the face of a tame housebroken pup Wear that -of an unbroken wolf -There is only one inborn error and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy So long as we persist in -this inborn errorthe world will seem to us full of contradictions For at every step in great things and small we -are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of being happy Thats -why the faces of almost all elderly people are deeply etched with such disappointment Arthur Schopenhauer -The fate described by the dismal quote above is escapable But we have to take the reins -It is our responsibility and not the worlds to create happiness in our lives A great first step is -to keep the etching of disappointment from happening It is said that by old age you manifest -the face you deserve But even some toddlers have purple creases under their eyes -usually because they are modeling their parents expressions The muscular contortions that -lead to the disfigurement of our faces and bodies start in infancy However it is never too late -to intervene -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -Learning to embrace expressionlessness and practicing facial exercises will help keep your -facial muscles from taking on additional strain as you age However they will not totally release -your facial bracing patterns Only soft tissue massage in the form of compression or percussion -can do this The next chapter will show you how to remove the tension from your facial -muscles making even the most expressionless face in the world look absolutely natural -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e We brace the muscles in our face throughout the day resulting in continual wincing -grimacing and frowning -e Facial bracing causes the muscles to become stuck in partial contraction and develop -trigger points and adaptive muscle shortening -e The repetitive strain of facial muscle is disempowering because it anchors you to -negative thoughts and emotions -e The activation of latent trigger points in the face destroys our composure and -contributes to social fatigue and introversion -e Practicing a resting face corpse face or expressionlessness will stop the accumulation -of strain and make your face agile and light on its feet -e To make expressionlessness effortless and ensure that it does not offend people it must -be combined with diaphragmatic breathing widening of the eyes fixed gaze practices -and positive intentions -e Expressionlessness will reduce strain and keep latent trigger points from becoming -active However removing the trigger points requires massage and hard contraction of -the muscles involved -e Exercising the facial muscles by contracting them beyond their normal range until they -reach fatigue and combining this with diaphragmatic breathing will strengthen and -revive them -Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension -Chapter Endnotes -Brown F D Prendergast A Swalla B J Man is but a worm Chordate origins -Genesis -Buck R Nonverbal behavior and the theory of emotion The facial feedback -hypothesis Journal of Personality and Social Psychology -Darwin C R The expression of the emotions in man and animals John Murray -Lewis M B Exploring the positive and negative implications of facial feedback -Emotion -Lewis M B Bowler P J Botulinum toxin cosmetic therapy correlates with a more -positive mood Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology -Hennenlotter A Dresel C Castrop F Ceballos Baumann A O Wohlschlager A M -Haslinger B The link between facial feedback and neural activity within central -circuitries of emotionNew insights from botulinum toxininduced denervation of frown -muscles Cerebral Cortex -Charlesworth W R Kreutzer M A Facial expressions of infants and children -In P Ekman Ed Darwin and facial expression A century of research in review pp -Malor Books -van Schaik C MacKinnon J Orangutans In D MacDonald Ed -The encyclopedia of mammals nd ed Oxford University Press -de Waal F Our inner ape A leading primatologist explains why we are who we are -Riverhead Books -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -Why Use Facial Massage -The tension in our faces drives the stress response influencing us to feel anxious and breathe -shallowly The damage it does to the muscles makes our faces appear languid overwrought -and weak Deep tissue massage is the only way to counteract this Compression and percussion -will reinvigorate the muscle increase blood supply reverse muscle shortening remove trigger -points decrease inflammation and permit the muscle to grow -The results can be dramatic because the longterm strain on our muscles is the leading -cause of facial aging and loss of facial composure These two issues are probably among the -biggest sources of human insecurity Both are not only preventable but reversible If you want -your face to look healthy and feel amazing invest some time and effort in the facial massage -regimen described here -If you press your knuckles into your brow your cheeks or your jaw with between and -pounds of pressure you will likely feel an acute aching sensation This pain may be so intense -that it makes your breathing shallow and the pit of your stomach tight However if you spend -minutes a day compressing your facial muscles while breathing diaphragmatically the pain -will be gone within three months The sagging puffiness and deposits of fat will go with it You -will be washing your face and it will feel completely different It will feel lean smooth and -finely contoured You will glance at yourself in a mirror or window and wont recognize the -leaner angular chiseled face looking back at you You will look healthier and that will help you -feel healthier too Most importantly your baseline level of stress will be significantly reduced -Facial massage and acupressure are old arts However existing methods are not -scientifically informed and intend to pacify the face temporarily rather than to relieve trigger -points permanently The method presented here targets the most pernicious myofascial -restrictions in the face and guides you in systematically eliminating them Once you work -through these exercises you will be able to relax facial muscles that you could not relax before -and you will have more precise control over your faces movements Eventually you will be -tensionfree and able to comfortably and gracefully transition between expressionlessness and -your full healthy range of expressions -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Ds -K a -EA -illustration Facial expressions -Social Fatigue and Resting Face -When our face is continually tense the people around us recognize it as a clear sign of self -perceived inferiority My face was so tense that whether someone was making a joke at my -expense or complimenting me could not help but respond in a bashful embarrassed way A -sheepish grimace would betray me constantly by showing others that it was easy to make me -uncomfortable By undermining my ability to stay composed and be assertive it made mea -target for mistreatment by unkind or unthinking people Facial massage obliterates this -submissiveness If you rarely look uncomfortable people learn quickly that they are the ones -that will look bad if they try to bully you Moreover you will be able to keep a fantastic poker -face The person who can keep a straighter face usually controls the situation These days only -smile when want to and can even tell the punchline to a joke with a straight face Even after -a long day of gregariousness can easily assume a calm expressionless demeanor -Social fatigue occurs when prolonged social encounters become stressful overwhelming -and cause a person to seek rest from social interaction When you are experiencing social -fatigue people can usually see it in your face It derives from the fatigue of facial muscles -When these muscles tire or when their latent trigger points become active it becomes -depleting They are draining to use and this diminishes our ability to express and be friendly -Studies show that the amount a person smiles and makes socially engaging facial expressions -are two of the best predictors of likeability Using your face makes people want to be around -you But if your facial muscles are in perpetual fatigue you cant emote and you will ultimately -feel dejected -Bitchy resting face or resting bitch face is a popular term for a facial expression or lack -of expression that unintentionally appears angry or contemptuous When we allow our face to -relax more than usual the tense muscles that we cannot relax become readily apparent and -belie our attempt to appear calm Before started a facial massage regimen no one ever saw -my bitchy resting face because never allowed my face to rest even when alone was so self -aware of how bad my face looked at rest that always sported a compensatory grimace Our -goal should be to massage the face until a complete resting face is no longer bitchy We want to -shoot for a wideeyed peaceful resting face -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -Microexpressions -All of us are constantly making microexpressions with our facial muscles A microexpression is -an involuntary expression that is evoked by emotion They are very brief and last between -and of a second It is thought to be very difficult if not impossible to completely -suppress microexpression reactions These reflexes largely dictate our genuine emotional -reactions to what happens around us Sometimes they turn out to be premature or socially -unacceptable and in these cases we inhibit them and replace them with something else If you -find yourself compulsively thinking negative thoughts during the day it is very likely that many -of the automatic microexpressions you make are negative -Most mammals that are not primates only wince when they experience physical pain -Primates take the innate facial reflex of wincing to physical pain and generalize it to social pain -Humans take it another step further We wince when someone chastises us but many of us -learn to overgeneralize our facial analogies wincing even when someone congratulates us -Pained maladaptive microexpressive habits like this are perpetuated by facial strain Massaging -the muscles using the activities below will remove the frown the cry face the squint the blush -and the sneer from the involuntary microexpressions that flicker across your face -Facial Massage Techniques and Targets -Releasing tension from your facial muscles requires the three techniques described in Chapter -percussion compression and vibration Well start with a simple percussion exercise -following the protocol laid out in that chapter Use a knuckle knuckle tool like the Jack -Knobber or Index Knobber a coat hook baseball softball or Bonger to strike the dormant -tender muscles repeatedly -Facial Massage Exercise Soft Facial Percussion -Use a knuckle or appropriate tool to gently strike all the major surfaces of your face Find a -rapid easytomaintain rhythm as you go striking your muscles times per second -The force of each blow should be roughly what you use when clapping your hands softly -The blows that result in deep muscular aches will succeed in reducing excessive tone as long -as you are breathing deeply Focus on your brow and cheeks but percuss everywhere -including every inch of your nose orbits lips chin and jawline Soend more time on areas -that hurt most The best time for this exercise is in the hours before bed so that your face -can rest overnight -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Frontalis Temporalis -Procerus -Zygomaticus -Levator -Labii -Buccinator -a in -Platysma -Orbicularis -Oculi -Nasalis -Levator -Labii -Orbicularis -Oris -Mentalis -Depressor -Depressor Anguli -Labii Oris -Inferioris -Ilustration A Woman with major facial massage target areas marked with an x -B Underlying facial anatomy -The area you massaged may feel slightly sore to the touch the next day Even so it should -never hurt when not being touched No part of your face should ever become chafed swollen -bruised or discolored those are all signs that you are striking too hard or for too long and need -to scale back Dont skip a day just because the area is sore Gently working through the -soreness day after day will keep the hypertonia from resurfacing -There are also a few important notes about advisability -Do not massage your eyeballs only the orbits around them -If you have injected filler or any cosmetic substances into your skin compression may -not be safe -There are a wide variety of dermatological conditions that contraindicate massage -so if you have any reason to worry about your skins sensitivity integrity or safety -please consult your doctor prior to attempting selfmassage -have compressed tissues on nearly every corner of my face and have not experienced any -injury whatsoever -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -lustration A These are the best tools to use on the face Do not use the smallest coat hook third from the -right The tip is too small and thus works too well It will reduce muscle tone so much that it will cause healthy -muscle to atrophy Pictured from left to right three sizes of eyebolts x x x Jacknobber -Index Knobber Bonger The smooth end of a Sharpie marker or coat hooks with a rounded tip can also be -excellent tools -Much of the remainder of this chapter describes how to use compression on every muscle -of the face After just six days of performing these exercises for ten minutes per day for a total -of an hour you should attain noticeable results The extent of the results will depend on your -breathing If you breathe five breaths per minute while performing the exercises the results -will be dramatic If you normally breathe more than breaths per minute you may find that -compressing the facial muscles is painful and that hard compression injures rather than -releases them If this is the case you should return to Chapter and spend more time -rehabilitating your breathing before continuing with this regimen -There are many layers to the tension and it may take months or years to achieve optimal -results Your progress should be consistent and readily apparent however and you should -expect the gains you experience to be longlasting Most of the exercises can be performed -from a standing or seated position The ones that use a tool especially the eyebolt are best -performed by placing the base of the tool on the ground or a flat surface and pressing the -area of the face to be compressed into the top of the tool using the weight of the head -The diagrams below illustrate how this can be done with an eyebolt seated kneeling -or lying down -Illustration A B C Comfortable positions for facial compression Ensure that the tool does not slip and -bump into your delicate eyeball -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -For each of the facial massage exercises below you will be using a knuckle finger or tool -to search for and press gently against the sorest muscles Please see the compression protocol -from Chapter Move slowly across the area ensure that each press overlaps with the last -Hold each press for two to ten seconds Once you have massaged the whole area start over -As you practice maintain paced breathing -Around the Eyes Orbicularis Oculi -Most people have bags under their eyes although the bags can vary widely in shape size and -color Some people have dark circles Others have a crease that runs from the inside corner of -the eye diagonally down and away from the nose It is often darker in color and sometimes -black and blue These are all due to tension in the lower portion of the orbicularis oculi muscle -caused by perpetual squinting This tension can be the cause of frequent crying Before -compressing this area would often feel on the verge of crying Since massaging them rarely -feel tearful You should also find that you squint much less in sunlight -Medial -Palpebral -Ligament -Se -Orbicularis -Oculi Orbital -Bone -Illustration Orbicularis oculi massage -Facial Massage Exercise Outer Orbicularis Oculi -Firmly massage your upper cheeks with a tool or knuckle Provide moderate to hard pressure -using circular strokes Use between five and ten pounds of pressure all over the area -surrounding the eye It is okay if the affected muscles are slightly sore the next day You -might start with a squash ball until nextday soreness stops and then switch to harder -implements like a baseball knuckle or other tool -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -Facial Massage Exercise nner Orbicularis Oculi -Place the tips of your index fingers along the edge of your eyes orbits just under the eye -the orbit is the bony ridge that encircles the eyes You should be able to feel hard strings of -muscle At first thought that these were veins and assumed that should not compress -them They are merely tense muscles and they will soften with compression Push down on -them with your fingertips and squeeze them against the orbital bone Then place the second -knuckle of each index finger just to the side of these cords Apply firm pressure and move -slowly over them pinning them against the orbit as you go Finally use your fingers -knuckles and an eyebolt to compress the entire orbit The portion of the orbicularis oculi -nearest the nose contains the medial palpebral ligament around which there is a lot of -tension Focus on this area and the areas directly below and above it -Facial Massage Exercise Lateral Orbicularis Oculi -Compress the bony ridges of the outside lateral corners of your eyes Tension here leads to -the wrinkles known as crows feet also called periorbital lines Your crows feet will diminish -in size and depth as the muscle becomes supple and circulation improves Eventually they -may disappear completely Compressing these muscles will also reduce squinting when you -smile Start by straddling the lateral orbital bone with two of your knuckles and press in to it -as you stroke up and down You may notice small painful bundles of muscle here compress -them a little more each day and they will gradually fade away -Facial Massage Exercise Fyelids -Your eyelids contain tiny muscles that when overly tense can cause swelling itching or turn -the rims of the lids bright red To reduce excessive tone in these tiny muscles squeeze them -gently to stop them from contracting To do so wash your hands and then use your thumb -and forefinger to pinch the outside of your eyelids Pinch the upper lids all over from left to -right especially the area near the lashes Repeat with the lower lids You should notice that -your lids become lighter in color less itchy and less puffy within a week -The Brow Frontalis Procerus and Corrugator Supercilli -Most of us have very tense muscles in our foreheads and eyebrows They become tense -because we raise our eyebrows frontalis muscle when trying to make friends and furrow our -brows using the procerus and corrugator supercilli muscles when we get angry You might -remember from Chapter that the former are used by an animal being chased and the latter -are used by an animal chasing Over time these expressions can become plastered on our -faces making the brow painful by our midtwenties -Brow muscles can be difficult to work on It took me three months of massaging for about -minutes per day before the pain faded fully But it was worth it because it also got rid of -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -sizeable knots and scar tissue Previously those knots had kept my brow in a permanently -raised state making them tremble when was upset or nervous Releasing your brow muscles -reverses this It will also reverse the muscle shortening letting your eyebrows descend to take -on a fearless look Your eyebrows will keep still when you talk and only raise when you want -them to -Procerus -Corrugator -Supercilli -Illustration Brow massage -Facial Massage Exercise Frontalis -Take the first knuckle of your thumb or forefinger and press it into the skin of your forehead -Be sure to cover the areas above below and underneath each eyebrow You will likely find -bundles of tight muscle fibers that are excruciating to compress Begin gently and increase -pressure slowly until you get the intended dayafter ache You can give your knuckle a break -by pressing the full weight of your head onto a baseball tabletop or tool moving the -pressure all around your forehead and concentrating on areas that hurt the most -Facial Massage Exercise Procerus and Corrugator Supercilli -Press the knuckles of the thumb or an eyebolt directly between your eyebrows to compress -the procerus the corrugator supercilli and other soft tissues in the area believe tension in -the procerus forces us to contend with anger and that relieving this muscle is emotionally -purgative As mentioned in Chapter scientists regard the corrugator supercilli as the -principal muscle used in the expression of suffering Why wouldnt we all compress these -muscles until they are painless -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -The Cheeks Zygomaticus Major and Minor Levator Anguli Oris Levator Labii -The zygomas are the bone protrusions on either side of the human face commonly referred to -as cheekbones They are the meeting point for multiple muscles that overlap to create an -intersection of tension That tension causes inflammation and swelling Compressing the -muscles will reduce that swelling uncovering your cheekbones and making them more visible -and pronounced It will also end chronic blushing and cheek tightness used to blush socially -and every time exercised never blush anymore -Most smiling is nervous smiling In fact when we laugh or smile socially our hearts are -often beating quickly and our breath is shallow and tense As you know any muscles that are -routinely coactivated with distressed breathing will hold excess tension In the case of the -zygomatic muscles that strain causes them to pull on tendons where they attach to the -cheekbones causing deep pain The tendons become so strained that the area accumulates -scar tissue and undergoes a host of degenerative cellular processes This made my smile rotten -and mangled This was the sorest place on my entire face Pressing a baseball into it with five -pounds of pressure hurt so badly that it made me want to cry There were tiny protuberances -and what felt like sand in the area Now it is smooth and all the pain is gone completely -NY -Levator Zygomaticus -j -Labii e e Minor -wo Gi Zygomaticus -m Major -Risorious -Illustration Cheek massage -Facial Massage Exercise Zygomatic Muscles -Compress the area all around the cheekbones above them below them and to the sides -You can use either a baseball your knuckles or the backs of your wrists Press especially -deeply into the lower outside portion of your cheekbones where the zygomaticus minor and -major muscles are anchored You should be able to feel this painful point of insertion in the -cheek about two inches outside laterally and below the corner of the eye After a few -months of compressing this your smile will be bigger unfaltering and will feel fullbodied -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Facial Massage Exercise Zygomatic Arch -To truly free up your eyes and your cheeks you need to massage and compress the muscles -all the way back along your cheekbones to your ears This whole ridge the zygomatic arch -may be painful and covered in palpably tense muscle fibers Put this ridge between the -second knuckles or your middle and ring fingers and stroke it back and forth You should be -able to ease the tension in just a few days Additionally try placing the ridge on a hard -surface like a book and press it down at different angles Massaging the ridge from your -cheek to your ear will allow your smile to extend outward toward the ear instead of being -restricted to the area around your nose -The Nose Levator Labii Superioris -In most mammals the sneer occurs more conspicuously on one side of the mouth usually the -left You may have observed this in a snarling dog Accordingly had a much larger knot in my -left levator labii superioris than in my right It was probably the largest knot in my face It was -about the size of three sticks of chewed gum Releasing this muscle was empowering for me -After releasing it realized that used to walk around with a permanent sneer on my face -The sneer would grow as became uncomfortable making me look sour It was stuck in partial -contraction with very little range of motion Now that the muscles are at rest feel less -defensive and less susceptible to provocation -Levator Labii -LevatorLabii f -Superioris -Levator Depressor -Anguli Oris -Illustration Sneer massage -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -Facial Massage Exercise Levator Labii -Using a tool or the second knuckle of your forefinger press very firmly into the space -between your nose and your cheek the upper portion of the maxilla bone This will target -the levator labii which raises the upper lip You may be able to feel tiny pops and cracks Very -light popping is normal and indicates that the cellular adhesions holding the muscle in partial -contraction are breaking down Work your way from the top of your nose down to the corner -of your mouth along your marionette lines Use eyebolts of different sizes pressing them into -this space between your nose and cheek bone -Releasing the muscles on the sides of your nose will make the area appear deeper and -leaner giving you a friendlier calmer look and allowing you to smile without sneering felt like -bloodsucking leeches had been removed from the sides of my nose In fact used to wake up -every morning with a dull ache on the sides of my nose Never again -Facial Massage Exercise Nasalis -Use your knuckles to compress the bridge and the sides of your nose including the nasalis -muscle and the levator labii SAN This will provide relief to the muscles that crinkle the -nose The easiest way to do this is to lie face down on a bed with your chest supported by -pillows Place the base of an index knobber or eyebolt on the bed and rest your head on top -of the tool with your sneering muscles as the point of contact Move the end of the tool -gently around the area compressing deeply The meat of the muscle lies in the bed created -by the top of the nasolabial folds marionette lines near the nostrils Search for and target a -large knot you may find in the middle of this area -Duration Two minutes Proficiency Two sessions per week for weeks -Maintenance Once per month Five stars kk -Most people sneer heavily when they smile and over time this causes the nostrils to -shorten and become upturned It looks ugly Compressing the nostrils the alar portion of the -nasalis the dilator naris and the compressor naris will reverse this Also compress the muscle -under the nose the depressor septi with a knuckle or tool In addition you might put a towel -down on the floor and press your nose into it resting the weight of your head on it Point the -tip of the nose downwards and rock back and forth to massage and compress tissues -throughout the nose -We all have a lowgrade perpetual sneer burned into our facial musculature All our lips are -slightly curled due to this tension Most people retain the coordination to relax the muscles -involved but choose not to because it makes them feel uglier remember feeling like some -kind of repulsive zombiepig when relaxed mine By tensing the area we apologize for and -cover up the appearance of strained muscle But over time this only makes it worse It is likely -that the only time you relax these muscles is when you are exceedingly angry Work on resting -the sneer throughout the day and disregard any reservations you might have about how you -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -look while doing this Compressing the levator labii will remove the knots from your sneer and -make it look natural to stop sneering -People who raise dogs for dogfighting abuse them to get them to sneer They punch pinch -or cut the dog repeatedly until it learns to bare its teeth immediately upon provocation -They want the dog to live in a mental world where baring its teeth is the first reaction to any -form of stress This makes the dog mean When a problem dog learns to bare its teeth at -people nipping and then biting soon follow By relaxing and compressing your sneering -muscles you deprogram this reaction From experience have come to believe that once the -muscles that lift the upper lip are no longer tense the brains circuits for frustration and -aggression are keyed down -The Mouth and Lips Orbicularis Oris -The right and left corners of the mouth are the point of attachment for muscles throughout the -face Muscles extending from the nose cheeks jaw and chin all anchor into these two corners -The bracing of our mouths and lips orbicularis oris is almost imperceptible It is a subtle -pouting that over years makes your lips thinner and your mouth appear shriveled As you age -continuous pursing of the lips causes vertical wrinkles Massage halts this -Illustration Mouth and lip massage -Facial Massage Compression Exercise Orbicularis Oris -Press your knuckles firmly into your lips Focus on the lips themselves and the areas above -and below them Especially focus on the corners of your mouth You can also squeeze these -areas between your thumb and forefinger placing one on the face and the other inside the -mouth Compression and percussion here will make your lips healthier looking Compression -of the skin all around the lip area will give it a rejuvenated shape -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -Facial Massage Exercise Risorius and Buccinator -The risorius and buccinator are two other muscles involved in smiling They pull the corners -of the lips outward horizontally Note the anatomical location of these muscles and compress -and percuss them to make your face leaner and more muscular Freeing these muscles -up and enabling them to contract fully could help you develop prominent dimples and -smile lines -The Jaw Masseter -The masseter muscles that allow us to control our jaws are typically very tight That tension can -cause significant pain restrict range of motion and prevent the muscles from growing in -response to chewing For many people the muscles are so tense that they are slow to release -expect this exercise to yield significant results only after several months You also need to be -careful to massage relatively gently here to avoid damaging the salivary glands that lie on top of -the masseter muscles The results will be worth it though In addition to relieving the pain -tension and discomfort youll enjoy increased jaw definition -Deep -Masseter -Superficial -Masseter -illustration Jaw massage -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Facial Massage Exercise Deep Masseter -Start by tucking the backs of your wrists between your ear and the corners of your jaw and -throat see first image above Allow the weight of your head to settle onto your wrists You -will likely feel substantial discomfort Use deep diaphragmatic breathing to make the -discomfort bearable and rest the heads entire weight on the back of your wrists It took me -four months of this to wipe this pain away completely -Facial Massage Exercise Superficial Masseter -Compress the entire masseter with a knuckle or tool Also focus on compressing the front -face of the masseter by pressing your knuckles into the front facing aspect of your jawbone -last picture below This will awaken the dormant muscle there and cause it to metabolize -fat from your lower cheeks making your face leaner -Under the Jaw Platysma -Poor neck posture and failing to contract the muscles under the jaw makes these muscles weak -and tight Speaking in a high tense voice may also cause them to become taught and atrophy -As that happens substantial deposits of fat begin to accumulate under the jaw If you can -release these muscles your double chin or jowls will shrink or disappear and your -jawline will become much more highly defined The result will lend an athletic and -aesthetically pleasing look to your whole face These muscles release and improve in -appearance very rapidly -Stylohyoid -Digastric -Platysma Mylohyoid -Sternocleido -mastoid -Illustration Underthejaw massage -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -Facial Massage Exercise Platysma -Use a fingertip to press into the crease between your neck and jawline This is the platysma -There are many other muscles in this general area under the chin that would benefit from -being compressed such as the mylohyoid and digastric To find and release them feel around -for hard and sore areas and press into them gently -Facial Massage Exercise NeckJaw Interface -Behind the corner of the jaw just under the ear there is a very tense area implicated in neck -strain and temporomandibular joint disorder This area contains parts of a number of -muscles including the platysma sternocleidomastoid digastric stylohyoid mylohyoid and -others You should be able to find this large grouping of knots an inch directly under the ear -Press into it with your fingertips and knuckles but be prepared to make this a longterm -project -The Chin Mentalis Depressor Anguli Oris Depressor Labii Inferioris -Compressing the muscles in your chin will help it look lean and muscular However be advised -that it may also reduce the chins overall size as these muscles metabolize the surrounding fat -had a painful knot of hard muscle in my depressor labii inferioris the size of a tootsie roll -Weekly compression made it smaller and smaller until it was unnoticeable Again this muscle is -responsible for the cryface seen in apes and humans There is practically no scientific study on -the muscular aspects of the cryface so wont even speculate on what removing these painful -knots has done for my psyche However imagine that it is overwhelmingly positive -entalis Depressor -Anguli Oris -Depressor -Labii Inferio -Jon -Ve e -Illustration Chin massage -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Facial Massage Exercise The Chin -Compress the mentalis the depressor anguli oris and the depressor labii inferioris with -knuckles or tools -Keep at It -The exercises above may seem timeconsuming but focus on the ones you find most interesting -or potentially helpful After a bit of practice theyll become automatic and you will find -yourself doing them while watching TV or reading The slower your diaphragmatic breathing is -the easier it will be to release the muscles Given the easy rapid results experienced -am amazed facial muscle release regimens are not widespread have concluded that without -diaphragmatic breathing tense muscles are too recalcitrant to make such a regimen feasible -The main thing is to keep at it Each exercise above provides suggested durations for -achieving and maintaining results but those are just guidelines The only real standard is how -you feel how your face looks and how your moods and thought patterns are affected Give -each exercise at least a few weeks before reaching a verdict experimenting with different tools -and small changes in pressure angle and rhythm Youll soon find a method that works best -for you -Benefits to Your Skin -In addition to the myofascial release that youre expecting by now facial selfmassage has an -additional benefit as well cosmetic improvements to your skin Skincare is a huge industry -with hundreds of millions of people trying to achieve a clear even skin tone using tanning -moisturizers toners serums lasers masks and surgical treatments These can become -extremely technical and remarkably expensive They also mostly fail to address the root cause -of skin problems our skin is designed to handle a great deal of contact and use It becomes stiff -and unhealthy without physical stimulation -When the face is not handled tugged or pulled for many years in a row the system of -blood vessels or vasculature slowly diminishes The result is a pale sallow appearance that -accentuates the prominence of moles freckles and wrinkles The exercises presented in this -chapter lightly stretch your skin causing the creation of small blood vesselsa process -known as angiogenesis Angiogenesis will make your skin darker healthier younger -and more evenly toned The mechanical sheer forces also cause very slight damage to -cutaneous and subcutaneous tissues prompting the rebuilding and revitalization of countless -dermal structures -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -Benefits to the Structure of Your Face -Selfmassage affects your facial muscles shape and structure which means it shares some -similarity with treatments like cosmetic surgery and Botox injection Botox paralyzes the -muscle decreasing tone and metabolic activity thereby temporarily decreasing the strain -muscles are under It is popular because it makes a face appear relaxed and reduces the -appearance of wrinkles As discussed in the previous chapter it also has positive emotional -effects For instance it can reduce negative emotions and susceptibility to crying Botox has -downsides however The paralysis prevents muscles from contracting which vastly reduces the -flow of blood oxygen and nutrients to them That in turn causes the muscles to atrophy and -become weak Besides these underlying problems Botox and cosmetic surgery create an -artificial look that many people can recognize Also Botox cannot be injected near the eyes -because there is a risk it could leak into and paralyze the ocular muscles that control eye -movements -Your most beautiful face is not the one that a cosmetic surgeon can give you They will -attempt to create a face that fooks muscular lean and without tension without actually giving -you any of these things The surgeons needles and scalpel traumatize soft tissues reduce blood -flow and damage muscles without doing anything to reduce strain Even the most skilled -surgeon cannot come close to creating an allnatural look This is a limitation inherent in their -procedures tools and techniques -Compression comes with none of these risks and harms and it costs nothing It does take -longer and it can be uncomfortable but it has much more dramatic authentic and longer -lasting effects Furthermore surgery and Botox crimp facial expressions whereas compression -grants you greater control over them For example my chin and cheeks moved sluggishly -before with a reduced range of motion Now they are surprisingly brisk and nimble More than -this muscular release just feels good Today smile wider and more frequently than ever -have but my facial wrinkles are less pronounced That and numerous other observations have -suggested to me that wrinkles in the skin dont necessarily come from using the muscles -Rather wrinkles are more likely to form over strained dormant muscle Scientists have long -questioned what it is that constitutes physical beauty The academic consensus now points to -smooth skin wellproportioned features the appearance of youth symmetry and being close -to the population averageness More than these other criteria think that the absence of -facial muscle strain is the primary determinate of attractiveness In fact the extent of facial -tension can probably be seen as a marker of the status hierarchy that we wear on our faces -Be Dominant but not Domineering -As your face become less tense you will become more dominant As your composure improves -people in your life as well as people on the street will be more respectful Because of this you -might notice that you start to desire respect and even submissive displays from others You will -inevitably find yourself asserting your will over others in an arrogant way whether -inadvertently or not You might find yourself holding your head high looking above the eye line -with a perfectly calm face until another person feels compelled to look down You might stare -at a stranger on the street until they look away This is not good or just Keeping a stolid -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -composure is good but you will generate animosity if you intentionally elicit subordination -displays from others -If you combine your reprogrammed displays with rude comments and antagonizing -behavior there will be a backlash This could result in losing a best friend or literally being -mauled in the street by strangers This is an immensely serious point Be humbler than you -were before If you are going to walk around without sneering or raising your eyebrows -retaining humility is imperative The person that carries a big stick and speaks loudly must -choose their words carefully -Before my face belonged to everyone else They knew this and they toyed with it -My default facial expression was what they made it Today my face belongs to me What will -you do with your face now that you have a choice in the matter -Conclusion -A few years ago my cat got into an unhealthy habit of showing me with his face how hungry -he was His cries would be accompanied by pitiful facial wincing His eyes would become tight -and his whole face would crinkle up When saw it my face would empathically do the same -It pulled at my heartstrings Here is a species removed from humans by million years of -evolution that uses remarkably similar facial signaling for distress Of course started feeding -him more regularly but also started massaging his face -Every few weeks hold him in my lap and use my knuckles to gently press into his orbits -cheeks nose and jawline It was uncomfortable for him at first He found it the most -uncomfortable when used my thumbs to raise and press into his upper lips Clearly his sneer -like mine was strained After four or five sessions could tell that it had become painless for -him He never makes those deplorable faces anymore and people regularly comment on his -poise and beauty He showed dramatic aesthetic facial improvements even though did not -begin this routine with him until age -Figure A My cat Niko at age B Niko again at Both pictures exhibit a lack of facial tension -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -recommend that people consider releasing the facial muscles not only of their pets but -also of their spouses and children As in the pruning of a bonsai the sooner you can begin your -manipulations the more dramatic the effects will be The exercises above act as a guide but -you really want to compress every square inch of your face When you have found an area of -your face or spine that is tender and sore to gentle pressure you have uncovered a gold mine -You have discovered a location that when rehabilitated will allow personal and spiritual -growth You will experience decreased chronic stress improved sleep the release of emotional -tension and better autonomic balance Whether you are a child an elderly person or anything -in between implore you to compress all the pain out of your face -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Deep tissue compression and percussion will reduce bracing dormancy and hypertonia -in your facial muscles -e Pressing firmly into any muscles that ache while breathing diaphragmatically will pull -them out of partial contraction making you more attractive and better composed -e Massaging your face will make it so that you rarely experience social fatigue and so that -your resting face is inviting and receptive -e Your facial muscles will become more prominent and will have increased range -of motion -e Your skin and facial definition will improve Your face will appear leaner and will have -reduced pain and inflammation -e Your neutral resting face will become authentic and it will be easier to be -expressionless -e Being expressionless and keeping a stolid composure is empowering However keep in -mind that you will generate animosity if you use your composure to elicit subordination -displays from others -e Aside from the physical benefits there are emotional benefits as well because you are -wiping out the lowgrade wincing and frowning and the related microexpressions -Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension -Chapter Endnotes -Eckman P Emotions revealed Henry Holt and Co -Havas D A Glenberg A M Gutowski K A Lucarelli M J Davidson R J -Cosmetic use of botulinum toxinA affects processing of emotional language Psychological -Science -Valentine T Darling S Donnelly M Why are average faces attractive -The effect of view and averageness on the attractiveness of female faces Psychonomic Bulletin -Review -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -Theres daggers in mens smiles Shakespeare -The quote above from Macbeth hints at some of the complexity and ambiguity of the smile -You might be used to thinking of the smile as something fairly simple an expression of -happiness or affection And youre right but it is much more than that Smiles play a nuanced -and highly variable role in social interaction They are central to how we present ourselves are -loaded with contextdependent meaning and are used to display our intentions and feelings -whether honestly or otherwise -Smiles are also controlled by some of the same facial muscles that youve been working -hard to free from bracing for the last two chapters Leaving those muscles braced will make -your smile frail and submissive and make it harder to connect positively with others Relieving -them from tension and then strengthening them under diaphragmatic conditions will make -your smile beam Before we dive into the exercises you can use to do that it will help to have a -look at how and why animals smile -The Origins of the Smile -The smile has a convoluted but fascinating origin In most mammals drawing back the lips to -reveal the teeth is done in preparation for biting Baring the teeth keeps the animal from biting -into its lips It is also used as a flash of the fangs warning other animals that it is angry -When accompanied by a growl it is called a snarl Thus revealing the teeth is an expression of -blatant aggression or the intention to take a bite In primates the signal is more complicated -In monkeys lifting the top lip communicates that the displaying animal feels threatened -This often occurs when the animal is cornered trapped or cannot take flight In nearly all -primates the startle reflex is accompanied by a grin mouth corner retraction and a shrill -vocalization This reflexive grinandshriek pattern communicates that the animal is -jeopardized or intimidated As you can see baring the teeth is tied to the neural circuits -responsible for fight or flight The flash of the teeth especially teeth held together is used to -appease dominant group members exclaiming am stressed but my mouth is closed and -am willing to submit It is a selfhandicapping signal and an admission of fear As submission -increases the gaze is averted the ears are drawn back and the lips are retracted further both -horizontally and vertically revealing more of the teeth and even parts of the gums This can be -contrasted with the facial response associated with anger As anger increases the stare widens -the ears are brought forward and the lips are contracted obscuring the teeth -In short fear is associated with displaying the teeth and dominance with concealing them -In many monkey species if a dominant male chases a subordinate and the subordinate grins -expressing fear the dominant animal will relent stop chasing and leave them alone -If the dominant male were to grin by contrast the subordinate would approach and embrace -him Thus the precise function of the signal is contextbound -Things get even more complicated when we narrow the field to our closest relatives -the great apes Among apes baring the teeth can serve a range of purposes depending on the -situation and what other expressions are involved Like the human smile an apes grin can -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -function to show submission attempt appeasement or solicit affection A quick grin is often -flashed between social equals Chimpanzees for instance can often be seen grinning at each -other before they embrace A silent baredteeth expression is usually associated with assurance -and affiliation A relaxed face with an open mouth baring the bottom teeth is associated -with play -So where a monkeys grin communicates either surprise or insecurity humans and other -apes have generalized and expanded the expression to convey compliance affiliation and play -However because it has its origins in fear and appeasement even the human smile is -neurologically linked to distressed breathing and the sympathetic system In other words -our smiles carry within them both the positive and negative signals that were inherited from -our ape ancestors Consequently they do not automatically communicate goodwill This is -unfortunate because it means that fun and affection can be intrinsically tied to stress -The exercises in this chapter will teach you how to dissociate this negativity from your smile -aA -Illustration A Baboon baring the teeth B Chimpanzee making a threat display Chimpanzee with a -friendly grin -Why Our Smiles Are Tainted -We can start by reviewing how our smiles come to be linked to negative emotions in the first -place Consider the people who have the best most reliable smiles models cheerleaders -professional greeters or frontdesk staff These are people who have been expected to keep -unflinching smiles on their faces for hours at a time At first the experience must have been -uncomfortable for many of them causing defensive nervous breathing Over time though -these professional smilers would have had no choice but to learn to breathe sustainably while -smiling leading to the gradual pairing of relaxed breathing with their grins This is what want -for you -Most of us dont possess that healthy link because we have never had to smile consistently -for long periods Without that kind of training a smile typically speeds up our heart rates -makes our breathing shallow places stress on our vocal cords and activates trigger points in -our faces The social smiling behavior of humans is often nervous and compulsory For instance -we smile when something awkward happens because we feel like we have to Because most of -us routinely pair smiling with distressed breathing we have badly strained smiling muscles and -offer insincere uncomfortable smiles -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -Dominant people are less likely to smile and more likely to frown On average bosses and -managers smile less often than their employees for instance Highstatus individuals are -permitted to display their negative emotions more freely and are not expected to provide -appeasement displays to the people around them On the other hand lowstatus people are -expected to stifle negative and competitive feelings and actively display signs of affiliation -Studies have found that lowranking children smile more when approaching highranking -children than high rankers do when approaching low rankers Studies also show that smiling is -commonly associated with approval seeking and low social status in adults In children it is -associated with low peer toughness ratings In light of such relationships smiling is often -taken for weakness -Several studies have found that women prefer men who dont smile Other researchers -discovered that in mixed martial arts the fighter who smiles less during the weighin is more -likely to win the match However the researchers in both cases were indiscriminate about the -type of smile they looked forthey didnt distinguish between healthy assertive smiles and -sheepish startled submissive ones An assertive optimal smile is highly attractive and would -likely predict victory in a fight Smiling indicates social weakness only if the smiling muscles are -strained and if smiling automatically recruits distressed breathing Retraining your smile by -pairing it with diaphragmatic breathing will make it so that your smile does not drain you but is -instead effortless and empowering -Smile Exercises -When was a very young child my grandmother told my mother that she was concerned about -me because she could not perceive any joy in my smile Some early experiences had caused me -to pair smiling with shallow breathing and my smile always appeared puny melancholy and -forced Chimps from the same group will show great variation in their capacity for smiling -Some smile feebly and yet other demonstrate gingival smiles showing their gums In my -twenties started working toward that healthy smile decided to spend time smiling intensely -to build up my smiling muscles would go on long walks or watch entire movies smiling widely -the whole time Most of the time was also squinting and breathing shallowly but even so -achieved noticeable results within a few weeks After ten cumulative hours of smiling widely -my face looked bigger and stronger my cheeks were more muscular and my smile was more -believable -Two close friends on separate occasions commented on the increased size of my smile -Then they told me to smile more widely still When tried they each said No smile up -higher couldnt They made a disappointed face and dropped the subject They were -disappointed because even though was able to build lower sections of my smiling muscles the -section closest to the tendon that anchors into the cheekbone the section with the biggest -potential for growth had not grown This higher section where the zygomatic muscle attaches -to the cheek didnt respond to the exercise because it was dormant After diligently practicing -the facial massage Exercise from the last chapter was able to smile up into my -cheekbones The before and after pictures below illustrate the difference -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Figure A My smile at age looks sour and unsustainable have rings under my eyes thick lower eyelids -upturned nostrils deep marionette lines heavy sneering and the bulk of the smile is located around my nose -rather than on my cheekbones B By each of those patterns has been reversed The change resulted from -gradually massaging away the tension and pain and strengthening the smiling muscles using firm contractions and -deep breathing -The massage of your zygomatic muscles described in Chapter is complemented by the -following musclebuilding exercise -Smiling Exercise Smiling Big with Calm Breathing -Smile as widely as you can Keep your face expressionless beyond the contractions involved in smiling -and carefully check that you arent squinting or raising your eyebrows There should be no hint of -apology or embarrassment in your smile Practice paced breathing throughout the exercise noting -when the smile makes you want to breathe shallowly You should notice that at first smiling big -practically takes your breath away Also notice how as you impose diaphragmatic breathing over the -smile for several minutes you can relax into a larger and larger smile -You should feel your smiling muscles quiver and falter but if you can smile through this it will -become more enduring and invariable This will tone enlarge and strengthen the muscles and help -them contract effortlessly without provoking your sympathetic nervous system When your muscles -reach exhaustion and start to burn allow them to rest for at least a minute In addition massaging -them after they reach exhaustion is a great way to stimulate regeneration recovery and growth -Smiling as wide as could stretched my lips so much that they would become chapped or -even crack after doing the exercise above Dont get discouraged by this Gentle smiling for -a few minutes a day will stretch your lips back to their optimal length over a few weeks -Smiling Activity Waxing and Waning a Smile -A genuine smile grows gradually and evenly Sit in front of a mirror and practice growing a smile Start -with a very small smile and expand it over for five to seconds until you have the biggest smile you -can muster Then over the same period practice letting the smile fade until your expression is -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -neutral again You will notice discontinuities where the expansion and relaxation jump in a jerky -fashion Focus on ironing out those irregularities in the movement making the progression as smooth -as possible Most people find a steady slowgrowing smile captivating -Smiling Activity Variants of Diaphragmatic Smiling -Normally every time we smile it follows the same inflexible pattern To vary the dynamics of your -smile practice the following -Smile as widely as you can with and without showing your teeth -Smile with your teeth lightly clenched -Smile with your top teeth visible and your bottom lip placed against them -Smile with both sets of teeth fully revealed and your mouth slightly open -Smile with both sets of teeth fully revealed and with your mouth wide open -Smile while gradually squinting the eyes into a full squint then gradually release them to wide -eyes Repeat -Smile while slowly raising the eyebrows all the way then slowly lower them until they are -fully relaxed Repeat -Smile while chewing -Smiling Exercise Smiling While Reading Out Loud -Some people can smile comfortably while they talk but most cannot The ability to do it convincingly -is so rare and so striking that its practically a superpower If you have not been acclimated it is very -awkward Read a few pages of a book out loud while smiling Practice diaphragmatic breathing -inhaling completely and reading aloud until you are out of breath The ability to smile while speaking -is easily attained and improved in this way After a total of five hours of practice all your friends will -notice the difference -Smiling Activity Eye Contact with a Smile -Sit in front of a mirror and use your reflection to model prolonged eye contact with another person -Smile Keep your smile wide and your expression open It will feel incredibly goofy but only for the -first few minutes -You can also model the initiation of smiling eye contact To do this start by looking away at or above -your eye line Make the calmest face you can and then look yourself in the eyes for a second while -keeping your expression neutral Over the next few seconds gradually grow a heartfelt smile while -continuing to make eye contact Hold both your gaze and your smile for several seconds Repeat -After you have practiced this exercise in a mirror try it with a friend -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Isolate Your Smile -One of the rewards of maintaining a smile for several minutes while breathing -diaphragmatically is the involuntary relaxation of muscles you dont need but that you normally -tense up while smiling Within a minute or two youll feel the tension in muscles all around -your face head and neck start to ease The process will gradually isolate your actual smile from -the facial contortions that typically accompany it That isolation has significant benefits Usually -some different muscles are involved in smiling when you stop smiling many of those -muscles remain tense because the smile forced latent trigger points within them to become -active This is part of why smiling causes many people to lose their composure quickly which -can make them reluctant to smile at all -Oy cd -IMlustration The first column shows a zygomatic smile and the zygomaticus muscles that underlie it -The second shows the risorius and buccinator muscles and their contribution to the smile The third shows the -sneer and the muscles that contribute to it Try to use more of the first two and less of the third in your smile -Completely relax the sneer the squint and the eyebrow raise when you practice -diaphragmatic smiling You want to contract only the muscles needed zygomatic risorius -and buccinator At first your isolated smile will look and feel uncomfortable and you might -feel like a kooky weirdo It might also feel sarcastic or counterfeit With time though this will -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -become your preferred way of smiling In essence the expression youre practicing takes the -expressionless face we developed in Chapter and places a smile on top of it The longer you -breathe calmly while holding that isolated smile the more natural and affable it will become -Reduce the Extent of Squinting When You Smile -There are many kinds of smiles Most famously midthcentury French neurologist Guillaume -Duchenne identified two types of smiles The first is a fake smile also called a Pan Am smile -named for the polite expressions worn by the now defunct airlines flight staff Second he -described an authentic or Duchenne smile that employs the orbicularis oculi muscles and -forms crows feet around the eyes Subsequent research has found that the Duchenne smile -with its associated crinkle of the eyes is more closely associated with positive emotions That -has led some scientists to assume that to elicit happiness smiles must include heavy squinting -disagree -In my experience emotionally damaged people often squint the hardest when they smile -and emotionally healthy people squint the least Methodically reducing the extent of your -squinting will reduce eye strain without making your smile any less authentic Work on smiling -without much squinting without raising your eyebrows and more generally without -contracting anywhere but in the smiling muscles themselves Using the exercises from the last -chapter to massage your forehead and the orbits of your eyes will help with this It will also -help you develop the ability to smile big all the way up the sides of your cheeks without -squinting much at all If you had been raised in an ideal utopian environment with no threats -thats how you would smile It might look like the smile of a deranged clown right now But -thats okay because it will become splendid once you become accustomed to doing it while -breathing with your diaphragm -Smiling Exercise Smile without Squinting -Practice making the biggest smile you can muster You might allow it to pour into your cheeks and -eyes but do so without squinting To minimize squinting you can monitor your eyelids in the mirror -or place a finger under each eye To do this make a peace sign with your hand extending the middle -and forefinger Place them just under each eye on the orbital bone Squint a few times and become -accustomed to how the muscles move under your fingertips when you squint You will feel a mass of -tissue bunch up Continue smiling using your fingers to ensure you arent squinting You might want -to combine this form of smiling with the upsidedown TV watching exercise from Chapter -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration A Smile with heavy squinting B Using the fingertips to sense squinting contractions C Smile -without squinting -In Chapter described my efforts to remain calm while babysitting a twoyearold That -day sat next to some blocks and pretended to play with them lifting them stacking them -and passing them to the little girl used a completely isolated wideeyed smile that would -have looked wacky to anyone over the age of three She saw it she sensed that my breathing -was calm she liked the way was sharing the blocks in a respectful way and so she -reciprocated the same smile Within a few minutes lost all concern that she was judgmentally -inspecting my smile We played for hours with these silly calm little smiles By the time her -parents came home our smiles had gone from kooky to credible and have been able to utilize -that same relaxed smile in the company of adults ever since -It might help you to find a safe situation in which to practice your new smile You might -work on your calm smile with a stuffed animal a pet or even a friend you have recruited to -help you After practicing in these situations you can start to generalize this ability to situations -that feel less safe like running errands or sitting in traffic This is another case in which we can -benefit from a fake it until you make it approach If you dont create concocted social -environments where you feel perfectly comfortable smiling carefree you will never do it Like -Schopenhauer was cynical in my belief that life or other people was not creating these -optimal scenarios for me It is our responsibility to create them for ourselves and to share them -with others -Creating Dimples and Smile Lines Contracting the Risorius and Buccinator -It is important to incorporate a full contraction of the risorius and buccinator muscles into your -smile Both pull your lips horizontally The risorius muscles lie about an inch below your -cheekbone anchoring to the corner of your mouth on one side and the soft tissue of your -cheek on the other The nearby buccinator muscles aid in the risorius smile as well as in -whistling puckering and chewing previously used my risorius and buccinator muscles very -little in my smile When fully contracted them they made my smile look pretentious and -fraudulent took this as an indication that needed to use them more The muscles were very -tense and if pressed my knuckle into them it was painful have since rehabilitated them with -compression and contraction making them much stronger leaner and painless -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -never had dimples or smile lines in the past as the first photo at the beginning of this -chapter evinces Genetic testing revealed that do not have the genetic markers associated -with dimples But exercising the risorius and buccinator muscles has given me somewhat -pronounced smile linesdimples This surprised me It even surprised my mom was and -was spending time with her for the first time in months when she said Oh my you have -dimples now Is that from a specific Program Peace exercise My experience suggests to me -that everyone can develop them At first your dimple beds the pockets between the -contracted risorius muscles and the jaw muscles may be completely covered by the fatty tissue -in your cheeks Contract the risorius and then use your fingers to search for this pocket It may -be filled in with fat now but as your smiling muscles grow it will slowly come to form a -depressiona dimple -Smiling Exercise Risorius Smiling -Smile in the following ways -Smile with only the risorius muscle To do this your smile should not be drawn upward -toward the cheekbone at all Only draw it horizontally Try to contract the muscle fully and to -exhaustion That contraction will turn into a friendly polite smile that you can use all the -time You can offer a solemn but polite greeting by accompanying this smile with a slightly -lifted chin created by contracting the mentalis -Incorporate the buccinators into your risorius smile To do this squeeze the risorius smile -as hard as you can forcing the buccinators to contract Youll know youre succeeding when -you feel the inside of your cheeks pressing against your teeth The more you exercise these -muscles the leaner your cheeks will become and the more pronounced your smile lines or -dimples will be -Creating a Muscular Smile Contracting the Zygomatic Muscle -The most important smiling muscle is the zygomaticus major It connects the corners of your -mouth to your cheekbones The muscle is likely to be feeble and feel uncomfortable when -isolated at first However contracting it firmly will gradually create noticeable lumps of muscle -under your cheekbones that appear when you smile Many famous actors have welldeveloped -zygomatic muscles and in women they tend to be much larger Conditioning the zygomatic -muscles will make your smile unambiguous and make your face leaner and friendlier -Smiling Exercise Zygomatic Smiling -Smile with only the zygomatic muscle leaving the risorius and buccinators relaxed To do -this pull the corners of your mouth diagonally upward toward your cheekbones a sneer -pulls the lips up vertically the risorius pulls them out horizontally believe the zygomatic -smile is more draining than the risorius smile because it is more closely tied to the stress -system The more you pair it with diaphragmatic breathing the less effortful it will be to use -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Repeated rhythmic contractions as in Exercise can also help build muscle tone and -coordination Instead of holding a prolonged contraction you may consider performing -rapid zygomatic and risorius contractions -Illustration A Each of the muscles involved in smiling is anchored at the corners of the mouth The two -zygomatic muscles stretch up to the cheekbone the risorius extends laterally toward the side of the face and the -buccinator is the large muscle underneath the others B Zygomatic exercises will help strengthen the muscles -centered around the cheekbone C D Risorius and buccinator exercises will increase the prominence and size of -smile lines andor dimples -As you practice the exercises in this chapter your entire cheek will become much leaner -and more muscular giving the impression of a long history of relaxed confident smiling People -will see this and implicitly assume that you are a happy person who has been smiling healthfully -all their life When you exercise the smiling muscles you may notice other facial muscles -reaching fatigue before your smiling muscles due to their relative lack of exercise This is most -likely to be a problem with the heavily strained sneering muscles Luckily the issue is fairly -simple to address -Refrain from Sneering -In my twenties a friend told me that smile like the Grinch It hurt to hear but he was right -My sickening smile was perverted from the repetitive strain of muscles around my nose -These included the three pairs of levator labii muscles which run along the sides of the nose -from the height of the eyes down to the lip They work in tandem to lift the upper lip and reveal -the canines -As you know revealing the upper teeth is a threat display in most primates Chimps bare -their top teeth in a grin when they are frightened uncertain or uncomfortable It often means -they are ready to fight Interestingly baring the teeth during a fight is a sign of uncertainly and -fear Highranking chimps seldom show their top teeth while lowranking animals frequently -do it All of this indicates to me that the muscles that lift the top lip are the smiling muscles -most closely associated with stress and submission Check the action of these muscles in the -mirror What do you think -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -Illustration A Muscles involved in sneering B Chimpanzee sneering C Girl sneering -Sneering is common in human infants For example all infants sneer in fear when they are -momentarily left alone by their mothers using the logic presented in Chapter this suggests a -link with grief Scientists believe older humans learn to inhibit the sneering reflex because -sneering is not accepted in polite society Most adults only knowingly sneer to communicate -disgust or disdain Much more accepted is an unconscious partial sneer bracing the sneering -muscles just slightly We see this in people who curl their lip for minutes at a time By doing -that they subject their muscles to repetitive strain Over time that leaves the muscles ina -state of partial contraction -The use of the sneering muscles amounts to a fascinating psychological complex When -trigger points within the sneer change from latent to active you become committed to a -negative emotion because it is now advertised on your face Once you know someone else has -seen your sneering muscles become tense it forces your hand You implicitly decide you must -either act scared or aggressive The activation of latent trigger points within the sneering -muscles is the incendiary event in many negative confrontations Since using massage to -obliterate the trigger points in my sneering and frowning muscles have been virtually free of -heated reactions previously thought my anger was unjustly provoked by others but now -realize was allowing others to activate latent trigger points in my sneering muscles and it was -this that compelled me to react prematurely and discourteously -If you can release the tension in your levator labii it will make your resting face appear less -guarded Some people will not be able to tell whether you look unguarded because you are -friendly or because you are angry This is because dominant people often completely release -the levator labii when provoked Thus when you let this muscle relax you will either appear -calm and angelic or calm and dangerous Your other postures and actions will determine which -The first step in making your sneerless expression noncombative is becoming more aware of -the tension in your sneering muscles which you can do using the activity below -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Smiling Activity Sneer Awareness -Sit stand or kneel in front of a mirror It is best to have a light overhead that casts a shadow over -your marionette lines nasolabial folds so that you can see them move Play around with the sneering -muscles that lift and curl your upper lip Practice making the smallest sneer and the largest sneer that -you can Transition gradually between them Become aware of the sensation of sneering slightly and -how that differs from not sneering at all Pretend to say something rude to an acquaintance and -notice how you maintain a light sneer afterward Just as you want to stop squinting and raising the -eyebrows chronically you want to end your chronic sneer -When people see that your sneering muscle is relaxed they will try to imitate this Unless -they have practiced it and massaged the muscles they will likely not be able to do it -comfortably for long This is because once the sneer is relaxed even a slight emotional -aggravation can make this tense muscle snap back to full contraction reflexively Thus you may -find that people flash sneers at you inadvertently Just ignore this keep your sneering muscles -calm and continue being kind -Be particularly aware of the presence of the sneer in your smile Strained sneering muscles -cause us to smile when we are nervouswe use the smile to cover up the sneer In fact a -strained sneer tarnishes our every smile Our smile has become conflated with our sneer -and often even we dont know whether we are sneering or smiling see the first picture of me -above The exercise below will help guide you to use the risorius and zygomatic muscles -without using the levator labii to create a sneerless smile -Smiling Activity A Sneerless Smile -Sit stand or kneel in front of a mirror Look carefully at your lips Raise the corners of your mouth -while the center of your top lip stays still This involves using your risorius muscle to draw the corners -of your lips outward horizontally and using the zygomatic muscle to raise them diagonally Do this -without squinting or sneering Ensure that you are not sneering by keeping the center of your top lip -cupids bow neutral -You can also monitor your sneer with your fingers To do this make a peace sign with your hand -extending the middle and forefingers Place them just to the side of each nostril Sneer a few times -and become accustomed to how the muscles move under your fingertips You will feel the skin rise -Return to smiling without sneering using your fingers to track your success -The sneerfree smile will look ridiculous at first but the more you pair it with diaphragmatic -breathing the more sincere it will feel to you and the more genuine it will appear to others -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -Rea e -MHL Le -Ilustration A Smile with heavy sneering B Using the fingertips to sense sneering contractions -C Smile without sneering -Smiling Exercise A Sneering Smile -You dont want to stop using your sneering muscles entirely In this exercise practice making the -most intense sneer you can This time do not smile Ensure that your top lip is maximally curled and -that you are showing as much of your top and bottom teeth as possible It will continue to feel like -you are performing a barbaric threat display until you can breathe diaphragmatically while doing it -This exercise will allow you to pull your upper lip higher and do so with more force It will also help -strengthen your sneering muscle and clear out the trigger points giving you greater control and -separating your sneer from the activation of your stress system -Smiling Activity Crinkling the Nose -Crinkling the nose adds a momentary sneer into your smile but that can be a good thing Crinkling for -about half of a second adds affection and dynamism to the expression Spend a few minutes smiling -in front of the mirror while intermittently crinkling your nose Try looking yourself in the eyes in the -mirror and say Its gonna be fun When you do this briefly crinkle your nose while you say the f -sound in the word fun Let it be playful and relaxed -Smile Dominantly -According to body language experts smiling with the brow lowered is extremely dominant -There is solid research indicating that leaders and people judged by others to have high -leadership aptitude are capable of smiling with a lowered brow This combination of a frown -and a smile has been called the Bill Clinton effect Experiments find that people rate those -who use it as particularly dominant and are more likely to vote for them for leadership -positions Most people have never actually tried it It takes a lot of time and confidence to -develop this socially Or you can just practice it by yourself for several minutes until it -is intrepid -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Smiling Exercise A Frowning Smile -Smile big without sneering or squinting Next frown by pulling the eyebrows together and down -toward the eyes Try to keep your eyes wide and hold this expression You might start in front of a -mirror and then practice in front of a TV You can use this expression to exclaim things like isnt that -mh -ironic what a coincidence or thats really amusing -We are all hesitant to smile optimally because we dont want to come across as inauthentic -or psychopathic We remember being afraid to smile around our parents grade school -teachers or bullies thinking they might misinterpret our expression as flippant or impudent -The good news is that this feeling will fade Smiling large carefree smiles made me feel like a -sinister demon or a sarcastic jester when first started Now it just makes me feel happy -Smiling Activity Smile with impunity -Spend a few minutes smiling just for yourself Notice your inclination to inhibit your smile -and recognize that the instinct comes from a petrifying fear that other people will -misperceive or misunderstand you Notice how you perceive your smile to be facetious or -vindictive Now let those misgivings go Perform the smiling exercises in this chapter -staunchly with full confidence that your smile is positive coming from a good place and will -be perceived as such by others -Conclusion -Buddhas contemporaries described him as eversmiling and portrayals of Buddha almost always depict him with -a smile on his face But rather than the smile of a selfsatisfied materiallyrich or celebrated man Buddhas smile -comes from a deep equanimity from within Mark K Setton -Genuine smiling induces the release of feelgood neurotransmitters like dopamine endorphins -and serotonin Thats part of why the intensity of our smiles in childhood photographs predicts -life satisfaction marriage stability and a longer lifespan Studies have found that even faked or -forced smiling can increase happiness and decrease depressive states Those studies dont -distinguish between genuine healthy smiles and forced strained ones Imagine how much -more dramatic the results would be if they had The lesson here is straightforward smiling -more and properly increases your standard of living -believe the best default facial posture is to have the entire face at rest except for a small -smile involving only the zygomatic risorius and buccinator muscles If you can direct this -toward others it will cause them to unconsciously imitate your smile This will lift their mood -and make them want to be around you Since performing these exercises regularly notice -strangers smiling at mesomething that was unusual before Every time this happens -wonder why they smiled at me and then realize it was because was smiling It can become so -effortless that you dont realize you are doing it -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -Smiling Exercise The Miniscule Smile -Practice holding the smallest smile you can With time this will create a new mode of operation for -you where you find yourself smiling for prolonged periods with very little effort It will look and feel -preposterous at first but coupling it with paced breathing will make it both renewable and -pleasurable After a few hours of training you will find that this smile arises on its own and slowly -turns you into a more optimistic and idealistic person -Fully contracting the muscles helps them grow but contracting them lightly and -continuously builds tone and comfort Do you sit in front of a computer during the day Turn on -your paced breathing app and smile Just make sure that you do not subject the muscles to -repetitive strain and dont forget to massage your face after long sessions of smiling Allow the -muscles intermittent rests especially once they reach fatigue Spend time smiling as you lie -down or fall asleep A resting smile may sound like an oxymoron but it shouldnt -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Inmonkeys baring the teeth is a threat and subordination display so the smile is -intrinsically tied to the stress system -e Oursmiles have become tainted by repetitive strain and the smiling muscles are stuck -in partial contraction full of trigger points and painful Our tight braced smiles arent -happytheyre just submissive and tense -e Contracting the smiling muscles completely while breathing diaphragmatically and then -compressing the muscles afterward will reverse the bracing -e solating and fully contracting the zygomatic risorius and buccinator muscles will -improve your smile -e Careful practice will enable you to remove the squint eyebrow raise and sneer from -your smile freeing it to be a purely positive expression -e Practicing a smile while making eye contact with yourself in front of a mirror will help -you smile while making eye contact with others -e Practicing smiling while reading out loud will help you smile while speaking to others -e As often as possible practice wearing either the biggest or the tiniest smile that -you can -Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile -Chapter Endnotes -Pennisi E The snarls and sneers that keep violence at bay Science -Fridlund A J Human facial expression An evolutionary view Academic Press -ChevalierSkolnikoff S Facial expression of emotion in nonhuman primates -In P Ekman Ed Darwin and facial expression A century of research in review pp -Malor Books -LaFrance M Hect M A Option or obligation to smile The effects of power and -gender on facial expression In P Phillipot R S Feldman E J Coars Eds The social context -of nonverbal behavior pp Cambridge University Press -Messinger D S Fogel A Dickson K All smiles are positive but some smiles are -more positive than others Developmental Psychology -Petersen R M Dubuc C Higham J P Facial displays of dominance in -nonhuman primates In Senior C Ed The facial displays of leaders pp -Palgrave Macmillan -Senior C The facial displays of leadership A systematic review of the literature -In C Senior Ed The facial displays of leaders pp Palgrave MacMillan -Campbell R Benson P J Wallace S B Doesbergh S Coleman M More -about brows How poses that change brow position affect perceptions of gender Perception -Abel E Kruger M Smile intensity in photographs predicts longevity -Psychological Science -FreitasMagalhdes A Castro E Facial expression The effect of the smile in the -treatment of depression Empirical study with Portuguese subjects In A FreitasMagalhades -Ed Emotional expression The brain and the face pp University Fernando -Pessoa Press -Hatfield E Cacioppo J T Rapson R L C Primitive emotional contagion -In M S Clark Ed Emotional and social behavior pp Sage Publications -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without -Pharyngeal Tension -The yogis life is not measured by the number of his days but by the number of his breaths -BKS lyengar -In Chapter we established the first four tenets of diaphragmatic breathing extend the -breath over longer intervals breathe deeper to increase the tidal range breathe at a -steady smooth rate and breathe assertively regardless of social pressure We also talked -about how if you are doing these things properly your inhalations should be recruiting your -diaphragm thereby pushing your belly out In Chapter we added the passive exhalation -pointing out that you can let your breathing muscles go limp on the outbreath to provide them -with a microbreak -Hopefully by now you have practiced these using a breath metronome and have learned -what paced diaphragmatic breathing feels like and how to sustain it You should feel -comfortable breathing for several minutes at a rate of around fivesecond inhalations and -sevensecond exhalations Perhaps you have advanced closer to eight and This chapter will -return to the topic of breathing offering further background and more breathing techniques to -complement what you have already learned -Stop Hyperventilating -remember being pulled around by the pressures and concerns of life Everything felt rapid -loud and urgent and would breathe fast and hard in an attempt to keep up with it all Then -when things slowed down and found myself in a quiet room with others my overbreathing -stuck out like a sore thumb They could hear me heaving taking two or three breaths for every -breath they took found it embarrassing but because my body had adapted to -hyperventilating there was little could do about it in the moment -Today many selfhelp breathing gurus tell their followers they are not inhaling enough air -and consequently are not getting enough oxygen The people giving this advice are mostly -confused It is overbreathing that is unhealthy and it is the rapid cycles of heavy inhaling and -exhaling that we want to stop This excessive breathing is called hyperventilation and results -in abnormally high oxygen levels and low levels of carbon dioxide This is why medical -personnel give people who are hyperventilating a paper bag to breathe into it depletes them -of oxygen Rebreathing exhaled carbon dioxide trapped in the paper bag helps them reduce -overoxygenation and quell their panic Inordinate oxygen intake can be just as bad as -insufficient oxygen intake Like overeating overbreathing amounts to too much of a -good thing -During stress thoracic breathing is accentuated to meet the anticipated increases in -oxygen demands If the anticipated event never arrives there is no increase in physical activity -and the extra oxygen is never used This is why hyperventilation leads to problems -During hyperventilation oxygen levels become so high that paradoxically many body tissues -are deprived of oxygen This is especially true in the brain leading to reduced neural and -mental function -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -A common criterion for hyperventilation is liters of air per minute and many people -breathe normally in this range Conventional medicine deems five to six liters of air per minute -at around milliliters of air per breath normal This would be about as much air in three -empty twoliter soft drink bottles It is likely that you like most people inhale significantly more -than this -was a chronic hyperventilator and was well acquainted with the symptoms dizziness -poor concentration muscle tension cramps irregular and rapid heartbeat tachycardia heart -pounding palpitations and gastrointestinal upset It is also strongly associated with nasal -congestion tightening of the airways fatigue tremor shakiness tight muscles stiffness -muscle pain weakness constriction of blood vessels asthma rhinitis and snoring Because -overbreathing is hard work it leads to exhaustion chest tightness and pain around the ribs -Hyperventilation also leads to feelings of breathlessness choking and smothering -Hyperventilation is thought to be a significant factor in medical conditions caused or -aggravated by mental stress psychosomatic diseases These include headaches backaches -nausea dry mouth sweaty palms insomnia ulcers and many others This may be partly -accounted for by the fact that hyperventilation increases the concentration of stress hormones -in the blood In one study a few minutes of hyperventilation increased adrenaline levels in -subjects by percent The diaphragmatic breathing retraining regimen outlined in this -chapter will reduce the amount you hyperventilate and potentially provide you with relief from -symptoms you didnt even realize you had -LSASALSASASASAS ASAI AS -IWAWAN -Figure A The first sine wave depicts shallow rapid breathing characteristic of anxiety B The second wave -depicts calmer deeper breathing at longer intervals C The third depicts a form of breathing that involves the -movement of a much smaller total volume of air Breathing less than usual in this way as an exercise can reduce -the tendency to hyperventilate Again the xaxis represents time and the yaxis represents the volume of air in -the lungs -The benefits of breathing less have been appreciated for a long time In the s Russian -physiologist Konstantin Buteyko developed a now popular breathing program to counteract -hyperventilation He observed that the closer his patients were to death the faster and -shallower was their breathing Today his program is called the Buteyko method and is used for -asthma anxiety and to increase pulmonary function in athletes Reviews of the medical -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -literature have come to different conclusions about the strength of the evidence supporting the -Buteyko method but it has a large number of steadfast adherents and think in principle it is -credible and compelling -The Buteyko method uses breath holding resistance breathing and breath restriction -exercises to counteract overbreathing The practice focuses on reducing breathing movements -until you feel a tolerable air shortage and hunger for air do not recommend reducing -breathing to the point of air hunger per se but do recommend the bread and butter of the -Buteyko system resistance breathing breathing through the nose and breathing -slower and less These are legitimate methods to counteract hyperventilation Allow me to -explain why -Resistance Breathing -Resistance breathing is any kind of breathing that creates resistance to the flow of air You can -create resistance by breathing through clenched teeth pursed lips or a straw Resistance -breathing forces the breathing musculature to work harder thus strengthening it substantially -over time Because it proceeds slower and disallows air gulping it forces the diaphragm to do -the work -Many people use elevation training masks during exercise to create intense pulmonary -resistance to strengthen the muscles of respiration These masks are meant to simulate the -benefits of training at high altitudes Studies show that the masks are useful and imagine the -masks might be very helpful when used with diaphragmatic breathing However simply -breathing through the nose is a free and easy alternative to train resistance breathing -Why Nasal Breathing is Healthier Than Mouth Breathing -Because the nasal passages are narrower than the oral one taking a full breath through the -nose takes significantly more time and effort It takes more work to breathe exclusively -through the nose compared to breathing through the mouth It is hard work for the diaphragm -and will make it stronger fast Also it forces you to breathe more slowly at an even pace Youll -notice that you cannot gasp through the nose and several researchers agree that one cannot -easily hyperventilate when breathing through the nose consider nasal breathing the sixth -tenet of optimal breathing -Most mammals breathe exclusively through their noses with their mouths closed but there -are a few exceptions Some mammals will breathe through the mouth when engaging in -intense cardiovascular activity Others use mouth breathing for evaporative cooling like a dog -panting on a hot day Some mammals will breathe through their mouth during an aggressive -confrontation Usually the dominant animal will breathe exclusively through the nose and the -subordinate one will open the mouth and pant nondiaphragmatically Many dog trainers -interpret nose breathing as defiant and mouth breathing as acquiescent The dog that pants -rapidly with an open mouth is usually seen as the most obedient Chronic mouth breathing like -hyperventilation is a submissive handicapping signal Otherwise mammals breathe almost -exclusively through their noses Whenever a veterinarian sees a mammal at rest breathing -through its mouth it is taken as a sign of sickness or serious injury -In humans mouth breathing is thought by many experts to increase the stress response -It has been shown to lead to high blood pressure poor posture cognitive disturbances -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -and heart problems In newborns it is a sign of failure to thrive However there is no medical -consensus merely because not enough studies have been performed Neither is there any -rubric in medical science helping people to stop breathing through their mouths This is a -serious oversight -Shut Your Mouth and Save Your Life -In George Catlin wrote the book Shut Your Mouth and Save Your Life in which he extolled -the virtues of nose breathing He was an American adventurer who specialized in painting -portraits of Native Americans in the Old West He observed a large proportion of Native -Americans breathing exclusively through the nose even during sleep He attributed their good -health and serene countenance to this habit He even saw mothers encouraging their infants -and children to breathe through their noses If a baby opened its mouth to breathe the mother -would gently push the babys lips together to ensure nasal breathing He compared this to -Europe where it seemed to him everyone breathed with their mouths -He claimed the American Indians referred to the white men not only as palefaces but as -blackmouths due to their penchant for breathing through their mouths He said that -breathing through the mouth leads to a derangement of the whole face which is not natural -carrying the proof of a long practice of the baneful habit with its lasting consequences and -producing that unfortunate and pitiable and oftentimes disgusting expression which none but -civilized communities can present He called mouth breathing the most abominable and -destructive habit that ever attached itself to the human race -The following are two drawings by Catlin from the book They illustrate what he saw as the -difference between English mouth breathers and Native American nasal breathers -are yy -oy Let -aS s LN As -tf Ni FS AUS -f A -VES ao -ve Nezy -is ee Wi h g -Ni -Al -Ys -Illustration George Catlins sketch comparing mouthbreathing Londoners to nosebreathing -American Indians -Catlin wrote that no excitements could cause the Indians to part their lips He said their -mouths remained closed unless they were eating or speaking and that they even smiled with -their mouths closed He recounted a story in which a quarrel arose between a white fur trader -and a Sioux brave The men decided to settle the dispute naked in a prairie with knives -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -Minutes before the fight Catlin intervened and convinced the men to reconcile and shake -hands Afterward he asked the brave whether he was afraid of the other man who was both -bigger and stronger The Indian replied No not in the least never fear harm from a man who -cant shut his mouth He wrote that both Indian mothers and medicine men told him that -Native Americans breathe through their noses to ensure strength confidence athleticism and -long peaceful lives -If were asked to name a single habit that could be corrected to increase longevity and -quality of life it would be mouth breathing So the question arises What is the best way to -ensure nasal breathing Well at first take its not easy There are two main hindrances to -nasal breathing it is easy to forget to breathe nasally and we transition from nasal to -mouth breathing unconsciously when we become stressed However spending time with the -mouth taped can help you to overcome each of these issues -Taping the Mouth to Ensure Nasal Breathing -You may think you breathe through your nose but you likely often switch to mouth breathing -Many people switch from nose to mouth breathing when they feel nervous or when they are -socializing You may have never noticed it but you probably make this switch repeatedly as -your stress levels fluctuate throughout the day In many cases the diaphragm is not strong -enough to support nasal breathing under stressful conditions Breathing through the nose is -unnerving for many people in social situations -was very uncomfortable nose breathing in my twenties partly because it made me look -expressionless was afraid people would think looked boldfaced or insolent But my face -looked disrespectful while nose breathing only because was uncomfortable doing it Once -you become complacent breathing through the nose with mouth closed you can get away with -sporting a highly expressionless face In other words nasal breathing builds composure Spend -time breathing with your mouth shut more often Practice it in public and with social contacts -Notice how difficult it can be in certain situations and how you have the repeated impulse to -switch to mouth breathing If you allow yourself to transition to mouth breathing when you feel -stressed or excitable you will resort to hyperventilation -To address this strongly recommend taping the mouth shut as often as possible It stops -you from taking intermittent gasps and sighs through your mouth The gasping and sighing -compensate for the air hunger created when stress rises and nasal breathing becomes -nonassertive and weak Even when you are making a concerted effort to breathe through the -nose you will probably only do it halfheartedly because you know in the back of your mind that -you can always switch to mouth breathing if you need to -Taping your mouth will teach you to breathe through your nose without recourse to the -mouth Nasal breathing will be your only option so you will unconsciously lean into it more -This will train your diaphragm to be selfsufficient and uncompromising recommend using a -bandage or surgical tape which can be found in drug stores as it is made for contact with skin -and wont chafe your lips or strip them of their natural oils When started taping my mouth -my nasal passages stung from the heavy increase in airflow Each breath felt cold and dry but -this only lasted a few days urge you to tape your mouth as often as you can for a few months -until you are nasal breathing by force of habit -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Breathing Exercise Taping Your Mouth Shut -Put a piece of tape over your mouth for an hour Place it horizontally across the mouth so -that it makes contact with both the upper and lower lips Concentrate on the work involved -in breathing through the nose Notice that you will breathe too shallowly get too little -oxygen and will panic wanting to switch back to mouth breathing You can overcome this by -making your breaths longer deeper and steadier Next try it while walking reading -watching television working and exercising Tape your mouth often to train exclusive nasal -breathing in all situations You should find that flaring the nostrils a dominance signal may -help to gradually open your nasal passages -While your mouth is taped you will inevitably find some mundane stressor to get worked -up about Lets say for instance that your doorbell rings and you arent expecting anyone Your -respiratory rate will increase ahead of the anticipated social demands and you will feel air -hunger However you wont be able to sustain an increased breathing rate because you cannot -gasp through your mouth As you are forced to continue to breathe through your nose the -worries about the doorbell fade This will ensure that the person who answers the door is -courageous rather than fretful Every minute your mouth is taped you have small victories like -this one that will take the reins over your diaphragm from the environment and place them in -your own hands -After cumulative hours of taping my mouth in the first month could feel was -breathing far less and had conquered the restlessness in my chest After three months -realized that for the first time in my adult life was holding eye contact with others while -breathing calmly through the nose also found that when was having a conversation with -someone would close my mouth as soon as stopped talking This shifted my entire style of -communication from overexcited and frivolous to levelheaded and measured -Everyone should be breathing exclusively through their nose even while sleeping Many -nosebreathing adherents recommend taping the mouth shut before going to sleep to -strengthen nocturnal nasal breathing They claim and agree that it helps you fall asleep -more quickly stay asleep longer and wake feeling energized It also limits snoring stops -drooling keeps the mouth and throat from getting dry reduces bad breath and keeps you in -the diaphragmatic sweet spot throughout the night For all these reasons strongly -recommend you tape your mouth before bed However it is a sharp right turn into hard -diaphragmatic demand You might need to work your way up to it using other Program Peace -breathing exercises including taping your mouth during the day before you can start to tape -your mouth at bedtime -Breathing Exercise Taping Your Mouth During Sleep -Put a piece of tape over your lips before your head hits the pillow When most people start -they wake up with discomfort in their chest This happens because their chest was kept from -heaving throughout the night If you feel this way it means that you must do more remedial -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -diaphragmatic breathing first The soreness in your chest upon waking is a measure of how -nondiaphragmatic your breathing is and how much your habitual breathing pattern fights -against calm restorative breathing -Some people claim that they cannot breathe through their nose due to nasal obstruction or -congestion If this is true for you know that your nasal passages will clear from nasal breathing -practice Mine certainly did Before taping my mouth was lucky to have one nostril clear of -congestion However you should find that after you start taping your mouth the congestion -clears on its own Just like you dont let dry eyes keep you from widening your eyes or dry lips -keep you from smiling dont let a stuffy nasal cavity keep you from breathing through your -nose You might want to try nasal irrigation ie a neti pot Nasaline or nasal relief spray -a personal hygiene practice used for flushing excess mucus and debris from the nasal cavity -and sinuses -Also make an effort to breathe through the nose while chewing Because breathe -through my nose now can close my mouth while chew Thus much to the pleasant surprise -of my friends and family no longer smack my lips -The alternate nostril breathing technique is common in yoga and stress reduction circles -In this exercise the index finger is used to close one nostril at a time Many hypotheses have -been advanced regarding why breathing through only one nostril seems to have a calming -effect on people Some scientists think you can activate different hemispheres of the brain this -way think blocking one nostril works because it narrows the breathing bottleneck even -further increasing the resistance and necessitating that each breath is even slower and -smoother Try it There are many guided alternate nostril breathing exercises online -Modernday huntergatherers are known to be nose breathers and even the persistence -running they do during prolonged hunts is accomplished with the mouth closed As you get -better at nose breathing force yourself to breathe exclusively through the nose during exercise -Keep tissues with you if you need to Blow your nose frequently and train as often as you can -with your mouth closed -a oo ES -Bx S ES P -Ze Sh Y -q ta is -Illustration Hyperventilating man breathing into a paper bag B Man running with an elevation training -mask C Man with tape over the mouth to ensure nose breathing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Months of paced breathing helped but breathing exclusively through the nose was still a -challenge for me when started Inspired by the writings of Konstantin Buteyko and George -Catlin forced myself to do it You havent accomplished it until every time you think to notice -you find yourself breathing through the nose Dont try to accomplish exclusive nasal breathing -in a matter of weeks Give yourself at least a few months to make a comfortable transition to -exclusive nose breathing Teaching myself to breathe through my nose made diaphragmatic -breathing much more accessible and gave me a whole new level of composure and poise -Breathe through the nose as much as possible It calms your mind and turns your breathing -musculature into a powerful relentless irrepressible bellows -The Slowest Smallest Breath -When you breathe with a smooth flow rate you should feel that your breath proceeds at an -even tack You should hear and feel a constant stream of breath that doesnt vary in speed -think the best way to perfect a smooth flow rate is to inhale as little and as slowly as possible -When you do this the tumultuous discontinuities apneic disturbances discussed in Chapter -become magnified This enables you to perceive them and work to iron them out -Breathing Exercise The Slowest Smallest Breath -After a couple of deep breaths take a single inhalation that is a tiny continuous sip of air It -should be long in duration from seconds to a minute and deep from the bottom of your -expiratory reserve to the top of your inspiratory reserve Take in as little air as possible as -slowly as possible without pausing After you finish inhaling breathe normally for a few -breaths then repeat Steady your breath so that you override the shudders and shivers in the -flow of air It should feel like a long drawnout note on a saxophone a rocket ship sailing -smoothly out of the atmosphere or a slow ride down a gently sloped slide made from warm -butter Sometimes it helps me to visualize the slow but steady propulsion made possible by -hundreds of millipede legs working in unison Continue to practice this making your goal to -breathe slowly and evenly all the time -Breathing slowly like this feels dangerouseither like you are not getting enough air or like -it is too much work Some of the most archaic brain areas ring their alarm bells when they can -tell that the conscious system is imposing a slow diaphragmatic breath Deep down our -unconscious mind is afraid that the diaphragm will be overexerted and that this will lead to -death by some form of cardiorespiratory fatigue It is afraid that we will ignore the pain signals -from our weary breathing musculature and succumb to diaphragmatic failure And it is true that -if a person who is a heavy hyperventilator that takes in breaths per minute was forced to -switch to four breaths per minute without any deviation the abrupt change in demand could -lead to respiratory shutdown after many hours However a few minutes of diaphragmatic -fatigue is not going to kill you You dont want to push it too hard for hours at a time but you -must get past this instinctual dread of exerting the diaphragm -To do this embrace the feeling of suffocating yourself with the slowest smallest breath -exercise These breaths should feel like prolonged streamlined sighs that ooze in and out of -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -your body Taking extremely slow inhalations will strengthen your diaphragm and teach your -mind to control it on a very precise and finegrained scale putting an end to hyperventilation -When you perform exercise above imagine that you are training to be the best in the -world Pretend that the national pastime consists of stepping up to home plate pressing your -nostril against a microphone and taking the smoothest inhalation and the smoothest -exhalation you possibly can You want to inspire the entire stadium as well as the folks -watching at home with how constant and unperturbed your breath is Of course we will never -get the opportunity to show off in this way However if you breathe as if you are training for it -the results will significantly affect your every word thought and action It will also make your -breath extremely quiet -Several Eastern arts such as tai chi yoga and qi gong recognize the importance of quiet -gentle breathing Japanese legend holds that samurai would be tested by placing a feather -under their nose If the feather wavered then they were not ready to progress Qi gong master -Chris Pei explains Generally speaking there are three levels of breathing The first one is to -breathe softly so that a person standing next to you does not hear you breathing The second -level is to breathe softly so that you do not hear yourself breathing And the third level is to -breathe softly so that you do not feel yourself breathing The Chinese practice of Taoism -defines ideal breathing as so smooth that the fine hairs within the nostrils remain motionless -In the thcentury BC Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said The perfect man breathes as if he is -not breathing -find these quotes inspiring and do believe that quiet breathing is an indicator of -diaphragmatic health and precludes hyperventilation However the breath cannot always be -inaudible When you first transition to nasal breathing it is often loud Dont necessarily -suppress your breath to make it quiet and dont be embarrassed by the sound of your -breathing Instead be proud that others will hear how smooth and deep it is -Calming Your Gasping Reflex -As discussed in Chapter your default tidal range can be expanded by taking longer deeper -breaths But your tidal range can also be reduced by teaching your body that it is safe to take -more shallow breaths When you first try to take several shallow breaths in a row your -diaphragm and other breathing muscles will stubbornly resist the process Again your nervous -system will be afraid to let them relax This is why breathing less feels uncomfortable and can -be downright scary It brings you face to face with your gasping mechanism -It is difficult to breathe in a tidal range that is shallower than usual as in diagram C in -Figure above because it exposes a reflexive gasp that powers your every inhalation Once -you are breathing more shallowly than usual you can feel the jerk from this gasp in your chest -It initiates each inhalation and is essentially a violent convulsion and another manifestation of -trauma keeping you in fight or flight The more time you spend breathing less the more you -experience it and the more you calm it Calming it will tremendously reduce your tendency to -hyperventilate You can use the following exercise to do this -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Breathing Exercise Depowering the Heaving Gasp -For one or two minutes take breaths that are vastly shallower than you are accustomed to -Imagine merely taking in a few teaspoons of air Spend about between one and three -seconds on each inhalation and exhalation x to x When executing this pattern -the breathing muscles should be about as close to resting as they can be moving very little -You are hypoventilating -By the fifth to tenth breath you should feel a sense of air hunger This sensation of -suffocation or smothering is too soon to be a legitimate need for oxygen Instead it is the -feeling of your hyperactive breathing musculature fighting against your decision to breathe -less The discomfort should be centered around the beginning of the inhalation Your chest is -trying to involuntarily kickstart a gasp but you are not letting it It should feel a bit like a -hiccup coming on This should create the feeling that you need a deep inhalation and are -having trouble catching your breath -Become immersed in the sensations surrounding your gasp reflex and try to calm it for the -remaining breaths Once you have been breathing like this for twenty seconds to a minute -and the feeling of air hunger starts to kick in allow yourself to take a few normal deeper -breaths to reoxygenate and then try again Use this exercise to learn to feel comfortable -breathing much less and transform the violent spastic contraction that initiates your -inhalation into a gentle gradual one -think the exercise above brings you into contact with the cramp in your diaphragm It is -the portion of the diaphragm that is always heaving in an effort carry on with hyperventilation -It is trying to overpower your current rate It is doing this because your body is afraid that you -are not going to get enough oxygen to deal with the environment that it assumes is adverse By -ignoring the gasp and feeling the air hunger you get a panicky sensation By attenuating your -breath you ignore the panic You should get this feeling sometimes as you come down from -exercising Treat it as if that is all it is Even though you are not exercising feel comfortable -coming down a whole level It is the ultimate form of underreacting and it sends a message to -the body that says There is no way we need that much oxygen right now -You may have to be experiencing anxiety for this to happen but when performing the -exercise above people often breathe like an actor in a scary movie and it may feel horrific -That gasp reflex is trying to break through We normally try to avoid this sensation at all costs -It is like a big wave hitting the body The idea is to let the waves hit and prove to your body that -it doesnt hurt and breathing less is not the end of the world Not startling in response to it -is detraumatizing think this is what Buteyko was trying to lead people to do but he didnt -articulate it this way -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -Figure The first sine wave depicts a gasping form of inhalation The slope starts steeply indicating an abrupt -force at the beginning This is a violent and exhausting way to breathe that perpetuates hyperventilation and -stress The second wave depicts a relaxed form of inhalation that is not powered by an initial jerk of the breathing -musculature In both waves the exhalation is shown as a straight line to simplify -Breath Holding -Many breathing exercises utilize breath holding They come with names like breath restriction -hypoventilation training and hypoxic therapy There are even paced breathing routines that ask -you to hold your breath between each inhalation and exhalation The popular exercise -asks you to inhale for four seconds hold your breath for four exhale for six hold the breath for -two and then repeat Try it The technique is also very popular The version is a -drill Sometimes called box breathing it is utilized by the military to calm and rehabilitate -warfighters with PTSD think breathholding exercises like these can be helpful but do not -recommend holding the breath during paced breathing because practicing so many pauses may -influence you to hold your breath habitually without realizing it Due to the strong association -between breath holding and anxiety think this is counterproductive Still doing it for as long -as you can a few times per week might be beneficial Holding the breath causes panic -By desensitizing yourself to this panic you may harden yourself against trauma -Breathing Exercise Breath Hold -Start by taking a deep inhalation while lying down and then exhale most of it Next close -your mouth and time yourself using the stopwatch on your smartphone to see how long it -takes you to experience air hunger Hold your breath as long as you can Try to work up to -holding your breath in this way for seconds then After a few weeks you should be -able to get near a full minute -You should feel strong discomfort in your chest and an unrestrainable desire to resume -breathing Calmly expose yourself to this unpleasant feeling for a least a few seconds Your -body will feel restless and you should feel a pulsating sensation in your chest Focus on -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -bringing absolute peace to this reaction as if you were ignoring the siren of a passing -ambulance As soon as you stop and take that first gasp go right back to diaphragmatic -breathing This will teach your body not to fear the pain of suffocation and not to perceive it -as a lethal state -The first sincere desire for air will occur with an involuntary contraction of the diaphragm -The diaphragm starts to push and pull involuntarily to get breathing going again The amount of -time it takes for you to feel this sensation is a good measure of general breathing health Many -people will experience diaphragmatic contractions between and seconds Breath holding -practitioners maintain that a person who breathes optimally will not experience this until -seconds -The more you practice the exercise above the longer you will be able to hold your breath -before you feel your diaphragm attempt to kickstart the breath Buteyko adherents call the -practice of breath holding the control pause It is also known as the blood oxygen level test -BOLT and using the four rules will help improve this score Breath holding is thought to -improve your bloods oxygencarrying capacity and increase the maximum volume of oxygen -that you can use in exhaustive exercise This metric is known by athletes as VO max and is -highly coveted -Stressful situations such as a tense conversation that involves gasping and breathholding -often lead to feelings of air hunger Intermittent air hunger contributes to anxiety So once you -have spent a few days desensitizing yourself to the sensations involved in breathholding you -will notice that you feel calmer in general You will realize that a fear of suffocation regularly -intruded into your everyday life but that it does this no more -Rapid Shallow Breathing -Earlier in this chapter we discussed how constant hyperventilation is extremely unhealthy -Deliberate hyperventilation on the order of a few seconds however may be healthpromoting -Many forms of breathwork induce hyperventilation Tummo breathing is an ancient Tibetan -example Similar forms such as holotropic breathing and the Wim Hof method have recently -become popular Each of these involves taking very rapid full breaths for minutes at a time -often followed by breath holds This voluntary hyperventilation leads to high levels of oxygen -low levels of carbon dioxide the feeling of pins and needles and even panic But if you can -expose yourself to these sensations without panicking you can further desensitize yourself to -stress recommend voluntary acute hyperventilation try the Wim Hof guided breathing -session on YouTube because think numbing yourself to it is another experience that will -strengthen you as a person -Insufficient skill in coordinating the transition between rapid inhalations and exhalations is -a manifestation of trauma For example it keeps you from being able to project your voice -strongly and decisively during times of tension Building better coordination over the switch -between breaths may make you a less hesitant more confident breather One reason believe -this is that chimpanzees perform rapid loud panting displays daily These are called ventilating -displays or panthoots and are used to indicate dominance They are more intense and more -frequent in highly ranked individuals The higher a chimps dominance rank within its party -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -the more intensely it panthoots Panthoots are most common in the presence of high -quality food or females in estrus indicating that it is used during social competition to -designate status and priority These vocalizations are set to almost violently fast breathing and -are used to prove to others that the vocal and respiratory systems are robust -The panthoot is a series of deep yells that take place while rapidly switching between -inhalations and exhalations Each cycle lasts between a half and a quarter of a second Perform -a video search on the internet for the term panthoot listen to the sound and try to recreate -it yourself You might also search for an episode of the Arsenio Hall talk show from the s -The panthoot was used by the audience in a collegial energetic way to show support for the -host or his guests The crowd would often swing their arms above their head and hoot -uncompromisingly You will find that hooting is very strenuous at first yet becomes facile over -just a few days This may seem like another bizarre exercise but remember Program Peace is -all about finding weaknesses in the body and rehabilitating them to find new strength -especially when this strength is associated with dominance in closely related animals -Breathing Exercise PantHooting -Practice breathing in and out at very short intervals while vocalizing loudly You should be -imitating a chimpanzee panthoot that you listened to online Alternate between inhalation -and exhalation around two to five times per second Do it rhythmically and with control -During each exhalation yell hoo loudly and deeply It should be like a bark Time yourself -using your phones stopwatch At first try to reach seconds of intense hooting Over -several weeks you should be able to do it for more than a minute Once you reach -proficiency you can try doing what the chimps do and vocalize not just on the exhalations -but the inhalations as well -As you do this you will notice that every few times you switch your breathing will falter -Your timing will be off because you dont have fine enough control over the transitions -between inhalations and exhalations This kind of poor respiratory coordination may be a -contributor to autonomic dysregulation Use this exercise to iron through these irregularities -and unbrace and strengthen the muscles involved After a minute of panthooting intensely -your chest and voice will feel agitated However if you concentrate on letting the muscles go -limp afterward they will relax deeply You will feel calmer and notice that your voice is -stronger and deeper for up to a day -believe that humans and chimps add tension to the aspect of the diaphragm responsible -for the panthoot as a function of their social standing They do this as part of a submissive -display that selfhandicaps the bark and roar both of which are powered by the diaphragm -This is why only the most dominant chimps are capable of performing an optimal panthoot -Panthooting loudly and forcefully will drive this underused aspect of your diaphragm into full -fatigue allowing it to recover from the tension you have imposed on it for years strongly -believe that after just a handful of sessions you will realize that the panthoot achieves a -diaphragmatic detox reaching into and purging the nucleus of your anxiety -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Completely avoiding breathing at short intervals is like being an endurance runner who -never sprints think it is important to spend time every day not trying to lengthen or even -control the breath Let it get as shallow as it wants and breathe through your mouth if it feels -right Forget about the rules of diaphragmatic breathing sometimes and let the unconscious -breath regulation modules do what they will Stated simply allow yourself to breathe shallowly -once in a while as a form of crosstraining -Stretch and Flex the Diaphragm -The next exercise provides a great maneuver to stretch and contract your stale stiff diaphragm -This stretch will bring it blood and help make it stronger and better at its job Think back to the -hiccup activity from Chapter When simulating a hiccup you sealed off your glottis the vocal -opening in the throat and contracted your diaphragm Using the following maneuver you will -similarly close the glottis so no air can enter the lungs and contract the diaphragm as if you -were inhaling creating a brief vacuum -By restricting the flow of air closure of the glottis isolates the diaphragm in a fixed -position allowing it to contract isometrically To contract it you only have to try to breathe in -With the glottis closed you wont be able to but trying will pull the central tendon of the -diaphragm down toward the abdominal cavity stretching the entire diaphragm as well as the -organs near it Again thought originated this exercise but after entering a description into a -search engine found that it is a variant of an ageold yoga pose called uddiyana bandha or -flying abdominal lock -Breathing Exercise sometric Contraction of the Diaphragm -Lie down and breathe out completely blowing on your fingertip until you cannot blow out -anymore Then close and seal your glottis This makes it impossible to breathe From here -you can fully engage the diaphragm by trying to either breathe in or out -Attempt to breathe in You will not be able to and the harder you try the better stretch -you will get Try to extend this contraction up into your rib cage and hold it for at least five -seconds This may make you cough which is fine While contracting the diaphragm alter the -position of your trunk and thoracic spine This will allow you to flex hard into your diaphragm -at different angles This may lead to a satisfying crack -Attempt to breathe out forcefully pressing the stomach outward at the same time Again -the harder you press the better the stretch Try to hold this for at least five seconds -From either of these two positions you should be able to find a very achy contraction This is -the cramp in the diaphragm that has formed as a consequence of bracing and chronic -hyperventilation Now that you have isolated it you can gradually work through it -There are other ways to isolate and contract the diaphragm isometrically Breathing deeply -from some yoga positions offers challenging opportunities for diaphragmatic stimulation want -to strongly encourage you to try a full inhalation from either a forward fold or plow pose -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -because these yoga positions decrease the volume of the abdominal cavity forcing the -diaphragm to work harder than it normally does Full breaths from these positions are hard -work with a big payoff -Intraoral Myofascial Release for the Nasopharynx -You have an extensive muscular knot behind your face that comes from constricting the -nasopharynx The nasopharynx is an opening in the back of the throat just behind the uvula -My nasopharyngeal sphincter was highly tense and painful Contraction of the nasopharynx is a -natural reflex that occurs during swallowing to prevent food or liquid from going up into the -nose but bracing it is another manifestation of trauma People brace it out of fear of appearing -too calm This knot becomes tighter every time you feel stressed It contributes to wincing -and grimacing and it gets worse every day because it is never massaged or even touched -advocate that you perform compression and selfmassage specifically for your nasopharynx -It is very uncomfortable at first but it gets easier every time and it only takes a few weeks to -get rid of the pain completely -Nasopharynx -Uvula -The Pharyngeal Airway -Trachea Esophagus -Illustration The nasopharynx is a small opening just behind the uvula that connects the oral cavity with the -nasal cavity -You can provide compression to your nasopharynx by donning a plastic glove putting your -thumb into your mouth and up into your nasopharyngeal opening This opening is where your -nasal passage connects with your throat To do this insert your thumb into your mouth as if -you were sucking on your thumb To find the opening you must feel around the roof of your -mouth traveling away from the teeth and toward the area where the hard roof of the mouth -hard palate turns soft soft palate An inch behind posterior to this border is the uvula -a fleshy hanging structure Just behind the uvula is the opening of the nasopharynx -The nasopharynx is an invagination that you want to explore and massage using one of your -thumbs The opening will feel tight and painful and pressing against it will initiate a gag reflex -The best way to bypass the gagging is to breathe diaphragmatically preferably to a breath -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -metronome Within the first week you will notice that it is less painful to probe that your face -feels and looks calmer and that mucus clearance is easier -Breathing Exercise Massaging the Nasopharynx -Put ona plastic glove With your thumb inside your nasopharynx you can place strong pressure on -many muscles and soft tissues in the nasopharynx and nasal cavity When you start simply insert the -thumb past the first knuckle and keep it still It will feel sore itchy and scratchy like a sore throat -Next try to swallow a few times and feel the nasopharyngeal sphincter tighten and loosen around -your thumb The first few times this may be very uncomfortable but it should be painless within a -few weeks -Next you want to gently press your thumb into different areas massaging the soft tissues -stimulating the nerves reducing tension in the accompanying muscles and bringing needed blood to -the area You want to press against each of the walls and folds of the nasopharynx and even up into -the nasopharyngeal ceiling The padded side of your thumb opposite the side with the fingernail will -come into contact with the anterior portion of this muscle closest to the face You want to press into -it firmly while contracting it intermittently to exercise it and gain a conscious ability to coordinate its -movement As usual learning how to control it will teach you how to relax it -It is essential to employ paced breathing and focus concertedly on remaining calm before -during and after this exercise Influencing how your brain interprets intense forms of -stimulation is incredibly decisive in how your body copes with them also recommend doing -this while relaxing at home before sleep While you have the rubber glove on recommend -that you use the thumb to press into muscular areas all over the soft palate -You can massage the tongue as well This can be done in two ways squeeze your -tongue between your thumb and forefinger or use your middle finger to gently compress -the length of your tongue down toward the floor of your mouth Allow your tongue to go limp -and drop down to a lower point in your throat Unbracing your tongue and allowing it to -become flat and broad at its base will help relax your voice the topic of the next chapter -Ss -A -je -Y -a -Illustration A Nasal cavity and nasopharynx B Man inserting thumb into nasopharynx -C Man squeezing tongue -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -Have you ever heard of mewing It is a popular doityourself facial restructuring technique -developed by Dr Mike Mew a British orthodontist Mewing involves flattening out the tongue -against the roof of the mouth the hard palate The tip of the tongue is placed on or near the -top front teeth and the body of the tongue is placed on the roof of the mouth Proponents -claim that learning to rest the tongue here habitually will define the jawline and change the -shape of the face for the better Like many similar techniques including most of the exercises in -this book there is not enough scientific evidence yet to support the practice However it is -interesting to point out that resting the tongue against the roof of the mouth seems prevalent -in most mammals and human infants This indicates to me that resting the tongue on the floor -of the mouth not mewing may be a traumatized posture associated with mouth breathing and -a widened airway diameter facilitating hyperventilation discussed in the next chapter think -it is possible that mewing could aid in nose breathing expressionlessness reducing oral and -pharyngeal bracing decreasing vocal tension and reinforcing ujjayi breath also discussed in -the next chapter -Pair Diaphragmatic Breathing with Anything and Everything -hope you feel you now have more tools to ensure that your diaphragm is working properly -When it is working it pacifies your interpretation of and responses to any experiences you -have It helped turn my nasopharynx from a pit of pain to a painless normally functioning -part of my body believe that this diaphragmatic generalization can similarly enhance the -positive externalities from many forms of traditional and alternative therapy Existing forms of -therapy that may be vastly augmented by proper breathing may include -Mainstream Therapies yoga psychotherapy relaxation techniques muscle and joint -rehabilitation mindfulnessbased stress reduction chiropractic acupuncture osteopathy -cognitive behavioral therapy medical massage neurotherapy biofeedback positive -affirmation somatic therapy etc -Exercise and Movement Based Therapies personal training physical therapy Pilates tai chi -qigong martial arts acroyoga dance the Gyrotonic Method Gyrokinesis the Franklin Method -the Alexander Technique Feldenkrais Nia ChiWalking ballistic stretching proprioceptive -neuromuscular facilitation gymnastics Laban Movement Analysis somatics etc -Complementary Holistic and Alternative Therapies meditation prayer cold showering -electronic pulse massage abdominal or visceral massage kneading petrissage craniofacial -manipulation gua sha and Mei Zen acupuncture muscle stripping guided therapeutic imagery -active release technique Rolfing craniosacral therapy tantric sex eye movement -desensitization and reprocessing visceral massage colonic irrigation reiki autogenic training -hypnosis mewing ASMR forest bathing art therapy animal therapy etc -Conclusion -After you perform the breathing exercises from this chapter and Chapter for weeks -you will notice that many of the people you know breathe two to three breaths for every -breath you take Relative to the new you everyone else will be hyperventilating -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Distress causes overbreathing also known as hyperventilation which is strongly -associated with anxiety and has many negative symptoms and repercussions -e Taking exaggeratedly slow breaths will put you on an air diet reducing distressed -breathing and hyperventilation -e You want your diaphragm to approximate a large piston moving in slow motion -e Because nasal breathing forces you to breathe more slowly it will strengthen the -diaphragm and greatly reduce distressed breathing Taping the mouth helps with this -e Breathing in for as long as you can will force the diaphragm to contract completely -expanding its range pushing it to fatigue and allowing it to rest afterward -e Stretching the diaphragm and contracting it isometrically will make it stronger and -increase its range of motion -e Breath holding mewing and panthooting may help rehabilitate your breathing habits -e Providing compression to the nasopharynx soft palate and tongue will remove trauma -in these areas -Chapter Breathe Less Nasally and without Pharyngeal Tension -Program Peace Breathing Exercise Progress Tracker -Use the boxes below to tally your number of hours of nasal breathing as in Exercise -Hours Nasal -Breathing -Use a stopwatch to see how long you can prolong an inhalation and an exhalation as in Exercise -Use the table below to keep track of your best times -Longest -Inhalation -Longest -Exhalation -Use a stopwatch to see how long you can hypoventilate as in Exercise Use the table below to keep -track of your best times -Longest -Hypovent -Use a stopwatch to see how long you can hold your breath as in Exercise Use the table below to -keep track of your best times -Longest -Breath Hold -Use a stopwatch to see how long you can panthoot as in Exercise Use the table below to keep -track of your best times -Longest -Panthoot -Use a stopwatch to see how long you can hold an isometric contraction of the diaphragm as in Exercise -Use the table below to keep track of your best times -Longest Dia -Contraction -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Sauty A Prosper M The hyperventilation syndrome Revue medicale suisse -Sauty Prosper The hyperventilation syndrome -Naifeh K H Basic anatomy and physiology of the respiratory system and the -autonomic nervous system In B H Timmons R Ley Eds Behavioral and psychological -approaches to breathing disorders pp Springer -McKeown P The Oxygen advantage The simple scientifically proven breathing -technique that will revolutionize your health and fitness Harper Collins -Staubli M Vogel F Bartsch P Fliickiger G Ziegler W H Hyperventilation -induced changes of blood cell counts depend on hypocapnia European Journal of Applied -Physiology and Occupational Physiology -Rosalba C Strengths weaknesses and possibilities of the Buteyko Breathing -Method Biofeedback -Fried R The psychology and physiology of breathing In behavioral medicine -clinical psychology and psychiatry Springer Science -Park Y S Sleep interrupted A physician reveals the reason why so many of us -are sick and tired Jodev Press -Park et al Sleep interrupted MoraisAlmeida M Wandalsen G F Sole D -Growth and mouth breathers Jornal de Pediatria Masahiro S Sano S -Kato T Increased oxygen load in the prefrontal cortex A vectorbased nearinfrared -spectroscopy study Neuroreport -Nestor J Breath The new science of a lost art Penguin -McKeown P The Oxygen advantage The simple scientifically proven breathing -technique that will revolutionize your health and fitness Harper Collins -Fedurek P Donnellan E Slocombe K E Social and ecological correlates of -longdistance pant hoot calls in male chimpanzees Behavioral Ecology and Sociobiology -Chapter Release Vocal Tension -A determined man by his very attitude and the tone of his voice puts a stop to defeat and begins to conquer -Ralph Waldo Emerson -There is an intimate connection between the voice and wellbeing Our voices are right at the -center of how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with the people around us For -most of us however interpersonal pressures and internal discomforts gradually put stress on -our vocal cords This chapter deals with the causes of this critical source of bodily dysfunction -then gives you a detailed and accessible guide to undoing it building on the work youve done -in previous chapters It will cover healthier vocalization clear articulation coughing yawning -muscle strengthening and how to find relief from your internal monologue First lets touch on -the basic facts -The vocal cords are two membranes in the throat that are spread apart when breathing -and pulled together for speech When they are touching and air from an exhalation is forced -through them they vibrate against each other giving rise to the voice Sound is generated as a -steady flow of air is chopped up by the cords into little puffs of sound waves More than a -dozen different muscles manipulate the vocal cords within the voice box larynx We modulate -our speech sounds by contracting these muscles along with muscles of the tongue mouth lips -and an entire wall of muscles extending from the voice box to the last molar All of these -muscles take on trigger points and partial contraction from intermittent bracing -That brings us to the link between voice and emotion Behavioral ecologists have long -noted that dominance displays in mammals feature lowpitched vocalizations while -subordination displays feature highpitched squeals and whimpers In primates highpitched -noises are common during juvenile play submissive threats appeasement and begging for -food Human voices similarly rise in pitch as a result of insecurity stress and social submission -Higher pitch is caused by vocal cord tension the tauter the cords are the faster they vibrate -back and forth and the higher the frequency of the sound they produce -Voice pitch rises when we ask for a favor apologize whine or attempt to show affection or -goodwill Negative emotion in general increases the pitch of the voice When you are nervous -or scared for instance the muscles around the larynx automatically tighten up involuntarily -creating a higherpitched sound In Chapter we saw how the brains grief system elicits -reflexive distress vocalizations in mammals and birds It ensures that lost babies call out for -their mothers Our grievances activate this ancient neural pathway intensifying vocal bracing -When we are anxious we are in essence even in silence calling out for our mothers -Dominant voices maintain or lower in pitch when finishing a sentence Lowering intonation -midsentence conveys unshaken confidence Submissive voices do the opposite rising in pitch as -if asking a question This is commonly known as upward inflection When you speak at an -artificially high pitch you can strain your larynx in as little as a few minutes Accumulated over -months and years that strain changes the resonance of your voice making it softer and higher -This effectwhen tension in the vocal muscles affects the voiceis called muscle tension -dysphonia When this condition leads to pain and inflammation in the larynx it is called globus -pharyngis or laryngitis when truly acute Few of us are formally diagnosed with these -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -ailments but we all have hoarseness and diminished voices from the selfimposed repetitive -strain on our vocal muscles -Have you ever found that when you are in a calm state ie after a massage or upon -waking your voice is very deep loud and full Your voice sounded like that because you gave -it a rest from bracing That is your true voice and should be your voice all the time To reclaim -it all you need to do is learn to stop tensing it -used to talk in an artificially high voice all the time and there were many friends with -whom would never speak in my normal voice for fear of offending them By age this led to -my normal voice being completely unavailable and it continued to get weaker every year The -sustained highpitch mangled my voice It wrenched my larynx took all the bass out of my -speech and ruined my singing ability By the time turned even my ability to modulate and -inflect was greatly reduced The weakness in my voice led me to talk and socialize less My -laryngeal posture became so compromised that developed a persistent lump in my throat -The constriction in my gullet affected my swallowing too and developed dysphagia The -airway around my voice box was so tight that would choke at almost every meal The following -exercises and techniques completely resolved this problem The lump in my throat is gone and -the improvement in my voice has been profound Use the exercises in this chapter to get the -frog out of your throat and turn your croaking into crooning We will start once again by -applying deep breathing to the situation -Diaphragmatic Vocalization -Enter the terms vocal cord endoscopy into a video search engine to see the vocal cords in -action When you watch this medical exam you can hear the doctor giving the patient -instructions about when to vocalize and when to be silent You will see multiple muscles in the -throat contracting to modulate the patients voice If you watch carefully you should notice the -patient contract the muscles that pull the vocal cords together in preparation for speech before -any vocalization begins You are most likely to spot it if the doctor interrupts the patient before -they start speaking at which point you can see the musculature either stay tense or return to -rest Seeing this will make you question how often you unknowingly tense the muscles of your -vocal apparatus in anticipation of speech even when you are not speaking In reality we are -constantly bracing our vocal musculature in neurotic preparation for highpitched speech -Ilustration A Side view of vocal cords B Vocal cords open from above C Vocal cords closed D Exterior -throat anatomy with the voice box in the center -Chapter Release Vocal Tension -When you go to a loud party or concert and your voice is frazzled the following day it is not -because you were yelling too loudly Rather it is because you yelled with strained vocal cords -and then braced them for the remainder of the evening while breathing thoracically Our vocal -apparatus was designed for shouting but not for shouting combined with shallow breathing -That is a very different type of muscular stress and one we are not well equipped to endure -Most people hyperventilate when they speak often needlessly doubling their intake of air -The discomfort of hyperventilation is a major contributor to the widespread fear of public -speaking This tendency causes us to speak in an even shallower tidal range than the one we -breathe in The breathing exercises from Chapters and will expand this range allowing you -to continue speaking when your lungs are nearly empty That greater range adds depth to your -voice Any speech expert or vocologist will tell you that practicing diaphragmatic breathing -is one of the best ways to achieve a bettersounding voice As you will see in the next exercise -breathing diaphragmatically while vocalizing is even better -Vocal Exercise Sing Loudly without Gasping -Sing from memory or along to a song Dont let yourself gasp When it comes time to inhale -do so completely without singing even if the vocalist in the song you are listening to is -singing Once you have taken in a full breath resume singing until you have no more air left -to exhale You might do this in the car or with headphones on -Select songs that make you feel powerful Pull up the lyrics online and read along if it helps -Sing your heart out Singing loudly will make your voice stronger very quickly and doing it -with passion will produce endorphins and confidence Bring your voice to a healthy state of -fatigue over and over taking breaks between songs to let it go completely limp The more -you do this exercise the closer your standard social voice will come to that audacious singing -voice -The next exercise will ask you to make several types of vocalizations including yelling -while breathing diaphragmatically Coupled with distressed breathing these exercises would -wear out your voice or even damage it But diaphragmatic breathing protects it by disallowing -vocal bracing and the activation of the sympathetic nervous system After several minutes of -practice this will allow you to start vocalizing with and rehabbing muscles that were -previously stuck in partial contraction These exercises will also train your vocal muscles to -coordinate more efficiently resulting in more sound production with less energy expenditure -Vocal Exercise Diaphragmatic Vocalization -Perform the following vocalizations after taking a deep smooth inhalation Once your lungs -are full vocalize until you are almost out of breath Repeat Choose a location like a closet or -a carsomewhere you wont be apprehensive about being overheard Let loose The real -work of these exercises involves paying attention to the wavering and instability in your voice -and using repetition to smooth out such weaknesses Fullrange vocalization repeated over -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -and over will tune up the voice by teaching your diaphragm to provide your vocal cords with -constant unfaltering air pressure -Take a deep breath and sing a single note or a scale until you are out of air Do this -loudly Bellow Keep singingexhaling until you have absolutely no air left The last few -seconds will be uncomfortable but it will start to feel good after completing the -exercise a few times over the course of a week Focus on making your voice ring like a -bell pure and unflinching and it will become one If you prefer you can also perform -this exercise with humming or vocal sighs -Yell loudly without straining projecting as much as you can comfortably Alternate -between a roar a howl and a bark Try yelling at different registers and frequencies -You can yell the vowels A E O and U one at a time Keep it up until you have -emptied your lungs of air Repeat this over and over in an effort to increase your -volume at the end of your expiratory reserve -Sing using vibrato Vibrato is a vocal technique that involves shifting the voice quickly -between two pitches An example of vibrato would be wavering back and forth -between C and C with regular pulses around six times per second To hear a good -example listen to Johnny Mathis sing Chances Are It is commonly used by -professional singers but is very difficult to achieve unless the vocal cords are relaxed -Start by switching between two notes that are very close together Go back and forth -slowly and easily and then gradually speed this up to achieve vibrato Practicing -vibrato will improve your voices melody and prosody while building vocal relaxation -and agility -Practice vocal fry The vocal fry register is the lowest range of tones available to the -human voice It involves a rough creaky sound and is produced by loose glottal -closure which permits air to bubble through slowly creating a rattling effect at a very -low frequency If you are not familiar with creating vocal fry use an internet search to -listen to some examples Once you get the hang of it practice producing vocal fry that -is as loud and smooth as possible Find the tone that feels the itchiest and scratchiest -and concentrate your efforts there Rehabbing it will renovate the substructure of -your voice -After completing the exercises lie down and focus on the sensations in your vocal tract You -will be bracing it Find the throat posture that allows the tension you created to subside This -is your most relaxed vocal posture and the one you want to hold all the time -If you are nervous before an important meeting a big presentation or a hot date chances -are much of the nervous energy will be concentrated in your vocal muscles Much of your -anxiety stems from knowing that the tension leakage will be audible the moment you open -Chapter Release Vocal Tension -your mouth However if you sing along loudly and deeply to a few songs you know by heart -during the drive there you will push your vocal muscles through a full contraction This will -wring out the stiffness from those muscles and prime them for use Also singing loudly with -energy is one of the best ways to improve your mood because it causes the release of -endorphins -If after singing you then spend the second half of the drive breathing to a breath -metronome those same muscles will get a full chance to relax and regenerate ensuring that -the exercise they got didnt push them into spasm and activate latent trigger points You will -arrive at the event with the most powerful version of your voice -To acquire a more fully faceted voice and deep resonance you must reestablish the -muscles responsible for growling The need for this kind of rehabilitation comes from a lifetime -of disuse We suppress any hint of a growl concerned that others will interpret it as adversarial -But by avoiding even minor tonal suggestions of anger we repress the vocal muscles needed -for dominant vocalizations Whole sections of our vocal tracts are cramped and dormant as a -result The next exercise addresses this -Vocal Exercise Activate Your Aryepiglottic Folds -Vocalize using the breathing method in Vocal Exercise above but this time growl loudly -Create the guttural vocalization of a husky character with a gruff voice This will force unused -portions of the vocal cords including the aryepiglottic folds to get involved in producing -sound Almost everyone stifles the aryepiglottic folds leaving them underdeveloped in all but -a meager portion of the population You may have never used yours but they have always -been available to you By practicing the growl you will unstifle your aryepiglottic folds -If you dont know what the use of aryepiglottic folds sounds like listen to Louis Armstrong -sing What a Wonderful World Also channel Cookie Monster Barry White Marge Simpson -and Batman Hold a deep note in a low loud growl throughout your exhalation After youve -practiced the growl alone try singing with a growl After two to five hours of cumulative -practice you should be able to unleash your inner monster permitting you to overlap a -growl with your normal speech any time you choose -Using portions of your throat to which you are unaccustomed in the exercises above will -make you choke and cough Especially using the aryepiglottic folds will feel sensitive scratchy -and achy as in a sore throat Utilizing these achy sections of the vocal tract will rehab them -The soreness will dissipate and accumulated phlegm will clear Whole sections of your vocal -apparatus only vibrate when you cough or scream but you can use diaphragmatic rehabbing to -coax them to flutter with every word you speak Try using noisereducing earmuffs with these -exercises so that you are not focused on the timbre of your voice but rather the rattling -sensations in your throat -Feel good about vocalizing forcefully Dont equate vocal power with discourtesy and dont -inhibit it to be polite Model your favorite radio personality or disc jockey emulating how they -can speak richly and deeply yet also congenially on the air -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chin Lock -Tucking your chin back into your throat firmly allows you to contract many muscles in the -throat and vocal tract It is a great way to find and activate lengths of muscle that have gone -dormant In yoga this position is known as a chin lock jalandhara bandha The muscles it -strengthens include the underused longus colli and longus capitus both in the front of the neck -alongside many others As you explore the chin lock over several weeks you will discover there -are many layers to the dormancy in your laryngeal muscles As you gain the ability to contract -and relax new portions of these muscles in addition to recovering your voice your neck will -become straighter and your throat and jawline will become leaner -When trigger points in dormant laryngeal muscles become active we feel choked up -Most of us are familiar with the acute version of this sensation that accompanies crying but it -can easily become a chronic problem The feeling of being strangled by the tension in my own -throat was a daily occurrence After only a slight provocation my voice would waver as if had -just been ina fight People around me could hear the strain in my voice and recognized it as an -impairment and a clear indicator of uncertainty recovered slowly and with work through a -gradual process of strengthening these strained weakened muscles -You will find sections of muscles that ache intensely when contracted in a chin lock -Stimulating them daily with contraction will reanimate the dormant muscle fibers clear up the -trigger points increase circulation remove the achy feeling andeventuallymake this -chakralike module steadfast and unfaltering Once this has been done it will be impossible for -you to feel choked up -Another technique to reach inaccessible dormant muscles is to swallow while holding a -chin lock This will ensure that you are not unnecessarily engaging the swallowing muscles in a -state of fear as many people do You have probably seen cartoons where the protagonist gulps -after they are threatened by a bully Remove this tendency by using the exercise below -Vocal Exercise Speaking and Swallowing Through a Chin Lock -Bring your chin back to your Adams apple then toward your chest Visualize the tip of your -chin reaching for your collar bones From that position flex the muscles in your throat as -deeply as possible Search for sore muscles and contract them firmly for up to seconds to -bring them to fatigue While you are holding this chin lock perform the following exercises -To intensify the chin lock open your mouth wide Place your fingertips on your -bottom teeth and pull your lower jaw down to flex your throat muscles more deeply -Swallow while holding a chin lock This may be difficult or painful at first so do it -gently and carefully -Freeze your swallowing musculature halfway through the swallow action You may -need to hold your breath This position will allow you to gently contract an array of -laryngeal muscles -Chew and swallow food maintaining a chin lock throughout an entire meal -Speak or sing through the chin lock Does your voice sound foreign or strange At -first it should sound deep and bold but muffled What you are hearing is your optimal -vocal tone Your end goal should be to speak in this register all the time -Chapter Release Vocal Tension -a -Illustration A Man performing chin lock B Man using fingers to accentuate chin lock C View of the muscles -of the larynx from the back -cannot emphasize enough that many of these exercises such as the chin lock and the -isometric contraction of the diaphragm Exercise require months of explorative work but -result in gradual progress that makes real and lasting changes to your quality of life It took me -two years of practicing a couple of minutes a month but eventually used the chin lock to push -into and break up the partially contracted lump in my throat Using the chin lock to reanimate -dormant muscles in the larynx will instate your fullest most optimal voice and enable you to -speak in deep rich tones -Ujjayi Breath Fogging Up a Glass -have spent numerous hours searching for an optimally relaxed throatvocal posture -After trying countless configurations concluded that the ageold ujjayi breath pose is the -best among them Ujjayi Sanskrit for one who is victorious breath is a common Taoist and -yoga breathing technique which instructors usually describe as breathing while constricting -the back of the throat This constriction is accomplished by complete relaxation and you can -find the ujjayi posture by allowing your vocal cords to go completely limp Ujjayi breathing -makes a hoarse throaty sound because when completely relaxed the vocal cords sit very close -together and vibrate softly as air moves in and out -When at rest the vocal cords should be separated by about eight millimeters of space -During cardiovascular exercise that distance doubles to allow unimpeded breathing The space -between your vocal cords also expands when you are under intense stress This response -happens because your body assumes you are going to be breathing heavily For that reason -a permanently widened vocal opening is a sign of chronic stress If you stop bracing those -muscles though the opening will go back to its normal eight millimeters But how are we -supposed to learn to relax a structure we cant see or feel Luckily the answer is easy -Everyone knows how to do it To perform ujjayi breath simply breathe as if you were trying to -fog up a glass -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Vocal Exercise Fogging Up a Glass -Breathe as if you are trying to fog up a window or mirror Concentrate on relaxing your throat -and the entire vocal apparatus Imagine all the tension in your voice box evaporating -Even though you cannot fog up a glass by inhaling maintain this vocal posture even during -the inhalation -As long as your breath can fog up glass the deep soundproducing muscles should be -completely relaxed You should find that after performing vocal exercise your fatigued -vocal cords can be coaxed into this resting posture more readily This is because it is easier to -make muscles go limp after exercise as long as you focus on the process -When a traumanaive kitten or puppy jumps down to the ground they belt out a soft -hmm sound as their paws make contact This is because ujjayi breath is their default and -their vocal cords always sit right next to one another Every breath for them is the softest -cooing hum As you practice try to emulate that pure and innocent vocal relaxation -You are performing ujjayi breathing properly if you are mere millimeters from a hum You -should hear a breathy wheezing sound as you take each breath a sort of white noise White -noise contains many frequencies with equal intensities Examples include radio static applause -or the sound of surf It is not a coincidence that ujjayi breath is also known as oceans breath -The sound is created by air resistance when the vocal opening is the bottleneck of the -breathing tract -Base of Tongue -Epiglottis -Aryepiglottic Fold -Vocal Fold Cord -Trachea Glottis -Esophageous SN -Illustration A Vocal cord closure B Vocal cords at rest C Vocal cords braced open -Once you develop proficiency breathing with your throat in this configuration try speaking -while retaining it Speak like you are trying to fog up a glass think of this as ujjayi voice -It may sound weak now but it is the optimal way to speak In fact want to encourage you to -perform the vocalization exercises above using ujjayi voice You might also consider the ujjayi -smile pairing your smiling with relaxed breathing Most humans separate the vocal cords -widely when they smile the same way that an eager dog pants as it wags its tail Your every -smile should be accompanied by ujjayi breath -When you relax the throat and breathe as if you were fogging up a glass it becomes a little -harder to breathe Your airway diameter narrows even further Remember from the last -chapter that this is a good thing Ujjayi is an advanced form of resistance breathing Once you -have mastered nose breathing add ujjayi on top of it to increase the resistance even further -Chapter Release Vocal Tension -Breathe this way all the time to develop a more powerful voice and a stronger diaphragm -consider ujjayi breath as the seventh tenet of optimal breathing -Hot chicken soup can help you stop bracing vocal muscles The delicious taste combined -with the warming liquid reduces bracing allowing you to hold the muscles in your throat under -the trigger point activation threshold believe this is why warm broth or hot tea with honey is -commonly thought to help in healing respiratory infections They encourage the restive ujjayi -posture Take advantage of this effect and have a hot soup or drink after practicing the -exercises above -Rehabilitate and Detraumatize Your Cough -A cough is a protective reflex that clears the large breathing passages of foreign particles -microbes phlegm saliva and other fluids It involves a forced exhalation of air against a closed -glottis The diaphragm creates pressure and when this pressure reaches a certain level -the glottis and vocal cords open suddenly resulting in a violent release of air It is essentially -a hiccup in reverse believe that it may also be a mechanism for delivering blood to sensitive -respiratory tissues and thus could play a vital function in overall health -A healthy and effective cough depends on hardy and active respiratory muscles so it is -negatively affected by a lifetime of tension By the time they are old most people have weak -strained coughs that probably no longer perform their healthpromoting functions For many -people on their deathbed debilitated coughing appears to be their weakest link and a factor -that contributes to disease progression For these reasons this short section will guide you in -rehabilitating your cough -Most people cough too hard and strain the muscles involved by doing it haphazardly -This leads to coughing that pits different muscles against each other damaging some and -wearing others down Most people cough violently or not at all This may be because we are -accustomed to thinking of coughing as a negative reaction associated with disease and death -Of course that is far from trueinstead think of coughing as health promoting and learn to do -it gently but vigorously Since performing the exercise below twenty times equating to around -coughs my coughs have been crisp lively and completely painfree -Vocal Exercise Detraumatize Your Cough -Cough times in three minutes Start softly and find a safe sustainable cough Build up to a -more forceful cough while ensuring that there is zero associated pain or strain As you go -breathe in cycles inhaling slowly and deeply then coughing until you have no air left and -repeating You should be coughing five to ten times in a row in between inhalations You may -find that your body instinctively takes over this process so allow these involuntary action -patterns to do their work It should feel good Focus on coughing in different ways at -different depths and with different intensities and pitches Stick out your tongue -Experiment with a barking cough a whooping cough and a staccato cough Try to extend a -cough by creating a prolonged raspy sound over several seconds Think of this as a search for -frailty and seek out dormant muscles that you can activate Afterward pay attention to any -tension or bracing that may have been caused by the exercise and gently quell it -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Strengthen Your Yawn -Your yawn may be another subroutine that you can benefit from rehabilitating Yawning is a -mammalian reflex consisting of inhaling while stretching the face throat jaw tongue pharynx -and eardrums Yawns are largely diaphragmatic and are the longest smoothest breaths that -many mammals take all day Dozens of explanations for yawnings adaptive value have been -proposed by scholars but there is still little agreement about its purpose It has even been -called the least understood human behavior -When mammals yawn they often stretch their spines in some way and the pairing of -these two actions is called pandiculation When your cat or dog yawns while standing -they usually perform a deep backbend or some other stretch at the same time One likely -possibility is that pandiculation is natures way of pairing a diaphragmatic breath with -stretching and isometric contraction the topic of the next few chapters If this is the case -the sheer normalcy of pandiculation in the animal kingdom suggests that this pairing is -something we should emulate -From the perspective of muscular rehabilitation yawning is not so different from coughing -It is a valuable opportunity to stretch and contract a large number of muscles throughout the -head and neck And like coughing in most people yawning becomes weak and regressive over -the course of their lives This is probably because to yawn substantially and resolutely -you must put your social guard down An unrestrained yawn is a great way to prove to your -body and others that you are relaxed recommend yawning as heartily as you can to explore -and strengthen it Practice it before bed because its link with drowsiness may help you fall asleep -Vocal Exercise Strengthen Your Yawn -Yawn twenty times during the next three minutes Practice extending a yawn for at least five -full seconds or as long as you can Take a broad diaphragmatic inhalation while stretching -your throat jaw and tongue Open your mouth wide and clear your Eustachian tube by -firmly popping your ears There is also an underused suite of muscles involved in swallowing -and voice production that your yawn should hit This suite may ache but you can rehab it in -only a few sessions If you watch your yawn in the mirror with your mouth open you can -contract this group by maximizing the distance between your uvula and your tongue Hold -the entire set of various contractions in an unfathomably deep silent roar Yawn like a lion -without worrying who sees it -Compression for the Throat and Larynx -The vocal folds are shielded by cartilage so unfortunately we cannot press our fingers against -the neck to massage or compress them However you can give them some relief by -compressing the tissues around them -Vocal Exercise Compression of the Front of the Neck -Use your thumbs and fingertips to press firmly but gently into your throat Press all over and -from all angles Apply pressure from the jawline all the way to the collar bones and sternum -Another way to find relief is to lean onto the side of a bed while pressing your upper chest -Chapter Release Vocal Tension -and throat into a basketball Use the basketball to compress the sternum and clavicle -This also results in reducing clavicular and thoracic breathing The sensation may make -you cough or gag but it is highly beneficial because it moves and stimulates muscles and -tissues that are usually completely still Be very gentle with this exercise taking it easy -and focusing on dissipating the tension in your throat over a span of several weeks -hes -Y -Hf -Nee NX -Illustration A Larynx B Compression of tissues surrounding the larynx C Compression of the throat and -chest with the use of a basketball -Rushed Speech Enunciation and Clarity -There are many verbal indicators of dominance that are recognized in psychology More -dominant people have more vocal control are louder speak at a lower average pitch talk -more and are more comfortable speaking at a variety of speeds They exhibit more prosodic -variety with increased use of rhythm intonation and melody They also speak with fewer -disfluencies false starts stammering repeated words mispronunciations fillers repaired -utterances etc They are less hesitant to interrupt others are less tolerant of being -interrupted and overlap their speech with that of others more often -People who have been heavily subordinated on the other hand hardly move or open their -mouths when they speak They usually sound uncertain and defensive They also ramble -murmur and stammer to create space for a more charismatic person to interrupt them speak -from experience here In my twenties acted like was about to be interrupted every time -spoke tried so hard to downplay my strengths in front of my friends that enunciated and -articulated poorly choosing not to use descriptive terminology when speaking Over several -years this rendered my speech indistinct and reduced my oncehefty working vocabulary into a -limited one -Instead when you are speaking act as if you have the floor That will build credibility -suspense and engagement with your listeners Perhaps most importantly take your time -Hurried speech and quick responses to other peoples questions are submissive and will quickly -cause you to become tonguetied Do not rush to respond -Employ dramatic pauses For instance pause for two seconds before you speak Pause for a -second or so between some sentences Doing so conveys that you are so assured of your own -power that you trust others wont interrupt The more slowly you speak when talking about -something important the more thoughtful and deliberate you will appear -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Act like whatever you said is helpful interesting and stands alone without feeling forced to -elaborate on it People will commonly underreact to your points and good ideas This will -influence you to flounder in an attempt to better explain yourself breathlessly and -unnecessarily Instead say what you want to say in definitive terms and conclude with -confidence and finality Dont feel like you have to repeat reiterate or reexplain yourself -Chances are your listeners got it the first time even if they act like they didnt -Dont let silence during a conversation worry you In professional negotiations often the -person who is less comfortable with silence loses This is partly because silence makes most -people breathe shallowly Breathe comfortably with all nonverbal aspects of your -conversations and you will become the proverbial pound gorilla in the room -Monitor your breathing carefully during conversations dont let it become shallow Take -deep breaths when the other person talks Pause and breathe in slowly and completely after -every few sentences Dont feel apologetic for making people wait for you to finish your -inhalation Do not jump back into the conversation quickly using a gasp Finish the breath you -were on Your breath comes first -Speaking clearly articulately and with charisma is not showing off Start now Enunciate as -properly as you can and within a few months your utterances will be crystal clear and will -sound more intelligent and persuasive Dont forget to practice these new habits as you speak -to yourself -Relieve Subvocal Tension in the Vocal Cords by Muting the Internal Monologue -An especially useful form of meditation focuses on subduing the restless subvocalizations -within both your head and your larynx The part of your brain responsible for generating -speech called Brocas area is always active producing speech patterns Because of its -incessant activity language often proceeds through our minds whether it is involved -in planning the day singing the words to a song or defending ourselves in a -hypothetical argument -Sometimes of course the activity in Brocas area and other language regions is not -broadcast to the brains conscious areas and so we are not aware of it When this happens we -gain a brief respite from our internal monologues Usually however not only is it broadcasting -its speech to much of the cortex but it is broadcasting instructions for speech to the cortical -motor areas responsible for moving the vocal cords That input causes us to constantly tense -our throats silently going through the motions of speech even as our mouths stay shut -Sometimes the lips and tongue move along with these silent words sometimes they do not -but the voice box almost always follows along Giving ourselves a reprieve from this -interminable activity gives those muscles a rare chance to relax removing some of the strain -they usually feel Try to become aware of your own pressured subvocal speech Using ujjayi -breath can help because vocal bracing is vastly reduced if you breathe as if fogging up a glass -Also notice how your vocal posture becomes more relaxed in the following situations -when you are around other people with low relaxed voices when you wake up in the morning -when you drink a hot beverage after drinking alcohol after taking a cough suppressant and -when reclining in complete safety You might also experiment with the corpse activity from -earlier chapters taking on the limp vocal configuration of a deceased person Spend some time -Chapter Release Vocal Tension -trying to find your most relaxed vocal posture with the intention of being able to reproduce -it on command -Conclusion -Predatory mammals are less likely to attack those who have a deeper voice After reading that -last sentence notice how your vocal posture altered You probably felt tissue in the back of -your throat drop to a more secure configuration However keeping this posture for more than -a few seconds is uncomfortable because it feels so unguarded But this is what you want to -pursue Doing it habitually will make your voice unshakable -Speak to your pets in a deep voice rather than a high squeaky one Do the same with your -children Addressing them in a full voice is not only beneficial for you but will also encourage -them to develop strong voices of their own A higherthannatural voice results in braced and -dormant laryngeal musculature The most powerful version of your voice results from the least -expenditure of energy Sonic dominance is one thing vocal efficiency and efficiency derives -from calm practice -The people with the most beautiful stentorian voices are those who were able to pair -tranquil diaphragmatic breathing with forceful vocal projection while growing up Even if you -didnt have this luxury in childhood you can create it by employing the exercises in this -chapter Hence the final exercise which incorporates several of this chapters key principles -Vocal Exercise Reading Out Loud -Read several pages from a book out loud as in exercise Speak in a calm kind full voice -Take slow full inhalations and read aloud until you have no air left to exhale Focus on -articulating loudly and deeply and allow the vocal tract to fully relax during each inhalation -Read slowly and fluently enunciating as clearly as you can Maintain a subtle ujjayi throat -posture and chin lock Throughout preserve a healthy posture in the rest of your body with -wide eyes and a calm face You might gesticulate with your free hand as you talk or make eye -contact with yourself in a mirror between sentences You might perform a zygomatic smile -while you speak Read to your pets a friend or the following imaginary audiences -A battalion of soldiers hanging on your every word -A huge auditorium or amphitheater filled to capacity -Agroup of thirdgraders in a library captivated by your story -Acongregation listening to your sermon -The listeners of a major broadcasting station -A being with a weak heart who could use a loving voice -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Stressed and submissive mammals vocalize in an artificially high range This is also true -of humans -e Over time persistent high pitch strains the voice box leads to the degradation of the -voice and creates a stubborn lump in the throat -e Speak deeper louder and more assertively Start using your outside voice indoors and -your distance voice in close quarters -e Never whine Stop yourself whenever you notice that you are speaking in a voice that it -higher than natural -e Tense throat muscles can be rehabilitated in several ways including exercising the -muscles involved by holding a chin lock therapeutic coughing massaging the throat -muscles externally muting your internal monologue developing a relaxed default vocal -posture and engaging in diaphragmatic vocalization -e Diaphragmatic vocalization will pull your vocal muscles out of dormancy To do this you -take a deep inhalation and then vocalize until you have no air left You can hum sing -speak growl cough or yell Repeating this over and over with the voice deep and -relaxed will rehabilitate your vocal tract Afterward it is essential to let these exercised -areas rest completely -e The optimal resting vocal posture includes limp vocal cords a relaxed glottis and -breathing as if you are fogging up a glass -Chapter Release Vocal Tension -Chapter Endnotes -Morrison M D Ramage L A Muscle misuse disorders Description and -classification Acta otolaryngologia -Morrison M D Ramage L A Muscle misuse disorders Description and -classification Acta otolaryngologia -Anderson J R Meno P Psychological influences on yawning in children Current -Psychology Letters -Gupta S Mittal S Yawning and its physiological significance international -Journal of Applied and Basic Medical Research -Dunbar N E Burgoon J K Perceptions of power and interactional dominance -in interpersonal relationships Journal of Social and Personal Relationships -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -By adopting a certain physical posture a resonant chord is struck in spirit Bruce Lee -Ideal Posture Spinal Health and Psychological WellBeing -Poor posture uses tension to hold you upright Because poor posture is less biomechanically -efficient than proper posture it takes much more effort to maintain This inefficiency makes it -so that muscles are used even when not needed and so do not get a chance to rest This places -muscles throughout the spine in a state of perpetual fatigue Over time the lack of rest pushes -these muscles into dormancy which in turn bends the spine out of shape -As age advances the extent of degeneration increases and posture generally worsens The -spine curves into a Cshaped orientation and spinal mobility declines Between young -adulthood and older age there is a reduction in all planes of neck movement There is -about a reduction in all planes of lower back movement But this is not an inevitable -consequence of aging Implementing some additional key postural correctives will ensure that -you retain excellent posture It will also enhance your ability to perform activities of daily living -for the rest of your life -The present chapter provides you with the central principles of proper posture -communicating exactly how to hold your body in space As with the diaphragm however -knowing the tenets of proper placement is only half the battle Like the diaphragm your -postural muscles are stuck in partial contraction and the only way to release them is to push -them through their full range of motion over and over again Releasing the muscles from -dormancy in this way is the other half of the battle and the focus of the next four chapters -Proper Posture -e Ensures bones and joints are in alignment and working efficiently -e Prevents the spine from being set in destructive abnormal positions -e Prevents fatigue strain and overuse -e Decreases wearing of joint surfaces that can result in arthritis -e Increases the ability to generate appropriate levels of force at desired joints -e Stabilizes the body against reactive forces and gravity -e Makes you come across as a predator rather than as prey -Poor Posture is Caused by Chronic Subordination -We are all born with perfect posture and many of us maintain it as far as early childhood It -breaks down due to inattention Postural neglect or a lack of body awareness blinds us to our -protruding head rounded back and uneven hips Most people are similarly unaware of the soft -tissue adaptations that reinforce these bad habits When poor posture begins to feel normal -the muscle memory for good posture becomes inaccessible We permit countless blind spots of -overuse and underuse that crumple our bodies These cause incoordination hinder -proprioceptive messages sent to the brain and speed up the formation of trigger points -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Where does poor posture start We ignore our stooping and make little attempt to correct it -because we tacitly assume that any effort to enhance our posture will offend people -Bad posture is a social signal that communicates defeat Slouching with head bowed and -shoulders forward signifies inferiority in many mammals especially monkeys and apes This -posture constitutes a mode of operation for looking downward under the eye line of more -eminent individuals It also declares a defective spine and a reluctance to challenge Primates -commonly use poor posture to avoid being attacked They are sending a signal that they are -already defeated despondent and willing to submit to the wills of others But by impoverishing -their posture nondominant mammals promote the formation of dormant muscles in the spine -This makes them likely to become hunched distorted and weak as they grow older -It is much the same with humans Most people hold themselves as if a lion is about to -attack them Our slouching is heavily braced We do this either to appease others or to put -them at ease We try not to appear like our motions are effortless by attenuating them We try -not to stand to tall by making ourselves look stymied and compacted This is so commonplace -that submissive posturing has become a conventional standard of modern behavior -Poor Posture Creates Pain Stress and Depressive Thinking -Social conflict pressures us to adopt bad posture which unfortunately leads back to more -stress Trigger points and muscle shortening cause pain so the more deviated you are from -your most biomechanically efficient posture the more pain messages besiege your brain -Also because we know that dormant muscles are weak points that will buckle and collapse if -loaded improperly they cause us to move with unease and apprehension This restricted -dynamism makes us feel defenseless and semidisabled turning our personality into that of -a cornered animal -There are many methods for increasing stress in lab rats One of the most effective is to -restrain them by shackling their feet This is known as restraint stress Their stress hormones -go through the roof even when detained for only a few seconds Looking back know that the -curved postural restrictions in my spine were equivalent to shackles and were a source of -restraint stress for me As when our face holds a grimace a stiff stooped spine affects our -unconscious appraisals of the environment -Slumping impedes the lungs ability to fully inflate Adopting a stooping stance causes -experimental subjects to breathe more shallowly because the diaphragm has less room to -descend This accounts for why those same subjects find it much more challenging to learn how -to breathe with the diaphragm when their posture is collapsed instead of erect By suppressing -the diaphragm poor posture also mobilizes the sympathetic nervous system -As you might have perceived slumping is common in depression Studies show that -slouching tends to increase access to helpless hopeless and depressive thoughts -Contrastingly assuming an upright posture results in faster recall of positive memories -increased energy levels better body image and improved affect This is what we want -So next lets look at the specifics of how to position your body dominantly and optimally -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -SelfAssess and Recalibrate Your Posture -Before we discuss the characteristics of optimal posture take a baseline look at your -current posture -Postural Activity Assume What You Think Is Good Posture -Take photographs of yourself without a shirt standing as you usually do Take at least one -from the front and one from the side Next take two more pictures standing in the way you -believe constitutes good posture Pay careful attention to your positional choices so you can -compare them to the postural principles later in this section Six months from now repeat -this exercise to see how your posture has changed -Ideal posture occurs when you use the least amount of energy to balance your body -weight You have three major weights in your body your head chest and pelvis Whether you -are sitting or standing you want to use the curves in your spine to ensure these three weights -are neatly stacked atop one another You can do this by ensuring that your earlobes are in line -with your shoulders which in turn are aligned with your hips If they are not aligned you will -be out of balance and on a path toward pain You can tell whether they are aligned by -examining the pictures you took above or by placing your back against a wall -Postural Activity Use a Wall to improve Your Posture -Stand in a neutral position against a wall Your buttocks should be touching the wall and your -heels should be about two to three inches away from it How much space is there between -your lower back and the wall Make it so that there is only enough to insert your hand Now -pull your head and shoulder blades back to touch the wall Unless your posture is excellent -you will find that you must use tension to keep them back Try walking away from the wall -while maintaining this alignment This is your optimal posture -Cervical -Lordosis -Thoracic -Kyphosis -Lumbar -Lordosis -Cer -Ilustration A Spine from the front B Spine and ribs from the back C Upper skeleton from the front -D Spine from the side facing left exhibiting the three spinal curves cervical neck thoracic middle back -and lumbar lower back -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -A neutral or properly aligned spine exhibits three curves from the profile pictured -above These natural curves can be excessively pronounced or not pronounced enough For -most people they are overly pronounced The curves are a backward curve in the neck -region known as cervical lordosis a forward curve in the upper back called thoracic -kyphosis and a backward curve in the lower back called lumbar lordosis You had to alter -these curves for your head butt and shoulder blades to meet the wall in the activity above -To repair these natural curves and ensure that they are not under or overpronounced use the -following optimal posture protocol -Optimal Posture Protocol -These are the five principles of proper standing posture -Keep your feet shoulderwidth apart pointing straight forward Dont lock your knees -keep them bent slightly -Tilt your hips backward by contracting your gluteus muscles You dont want your hips -tilted forward your lower back arched or your butt sticking out -Tighten the abdominals and pull your abdomen in slightly -Let your arms hang down by your sides Pull your shoulders back and down spreading -your chest Lean your midback backward The goal is to avoid slumping forward in the -Cshape while rounding and shrugging your shoulders -Pull your head backward Pull your chin toward your throat You do not want your head -hanging forward or your jaw jutting out -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -IMlustration Four of the five postural fixes A Contract the gluteus muscles and allow this action to roll the -hips backward and reduce the arch in the lower back B Flex the abs and pull the belly button toward the spine -C Lean the torso back pulling the shoulders back and down D Lean the head backward with the chin tucked in -toward the throat A counteracts excessive lumbar lordosis B and C counteract excessive thoracic kyphosis -and D counteracts excessive cervical lordosis -Try to use these postural tenets at least half the time you are standing up They will feel -oppressive and phony at first but pairing them with full breaths using the upcoming exercises -will make them your new set point -Antilaxity Temporarily Bracing Optimal Posture Will Strengthen It -The exercises in this section involve lightly bracing postures that are integral to postural -strength Up to this point have vilified bracing However the form of bracing used in this -section is deliberate temporary and not destructive because you will be taking breaks and -pairing it with proper breathing -Unfamiliar muscular contractions increase the stress response Previously we discussed -that widening the eyes smiling and looking up cause sympathetic activity to spike Standing up -straight does this too It is the same with flexing the buttocks the abdominals and even the -biceps This link between firm contraction and stress keeps our muscles from having ideal tone -at the joint This reduction in tone is known as muscle laxity Forceful contractions make us feel -like we are showing off or like we are doing something unnatural This in turn makes us -breathe shallowly This results in countless muscles going lax and a reluctance to engage -physically with the environment We can reverse it with diaphragmatic breathing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -In general people who breathe shallowly in response to unfamiliar contractions have the -lowest tone and the smallest muscles On the other hand people who breathe comfortably -even under heavy loads tend to be muscular These tendencies form in childhood but you can -still influence them now The following exercises will ask you to pair paced breathing with -different forms of muscular bracing and loading When you breathe calmly through the -discomfort this causes you are utilizing the Program Peace antilaxity method -When performing antilaxity you are looking for any unfamiliar loading patterns that -cause you to tremble require great concentration to maintain or take your breath away -During episodes of anxiety or submission some muscles go lax more than others and feel -uncomfortable to contract These are the muscles you are targeting An example of this is -performing a plank Most people quiver and experience discomfort when planking You want to -spend time in these kinds of configurations teaching your body that they are safe and learning -to breathe easily within them even for several seconds at a time After cumulative minutes -of exerting yourself at a moderate intensity in these loading configurations they will become -familiar stable and sound The chin lock facial exercises and eyewidening from previous -chapters are all examples of antilaxity exercises -Antilaxity Protocol -Find a group of muscles you have neglected because you feel uncomfortable or self -conscious contracting them -Hold a firm contraction in these muscles for five to seconds until they start to fatigue -Let them rest for twenty seconds and repeat These contractions are generally meant to -be isometric meaning that they do not involve motion Without risking strain or injury -alternate between clenching them softly and then very tightly between and of -their maximum -These contractions may make you startle or tremble may require concentration or may -make you breathe shallowly If it feels shaky feeble or wobbly you know it needs -antilaxity -In Chapter said that we lightly brace our hands all day in the form of a claw However -we are afraid to ball our hands into tight fists because other people may notice and think we -are preparing to fight This is why simply clenching our hands into fists raises our heart and -breathing rates The exercise below will use antilaxity to heal this priming your fingers and -forearms for building strength The exercises that follow do the same for other postural -systems Perform each with your breath metronome -Postural Exercise Making a Fist -Clench your fists into tight balls Feel the contractions in each knuckle Alternate between -clenching softly and then as tightly as you can Start with your wrists straight Spend time -rolling your wrists in wide circles while the fists are clenched Become comfortable with the -sensations you feel throughout your hands and forearms -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -Postural Exercise Clench the Elbow -Clench your elbows by contracting your biceps triceps and forearm muscles Do this with -the arms bent at different angles from to degrees Do it with the wrists rotated to -different extents Pose like an action movie star your arms crossed in front of you with all -the muscles flexing Try it with the arms behind the back Over a matter of days this will go -from feeling enfeebled to electrifying -Postural Exercise Clenching the Buttocks -While standing clench your gluteus muscles into tight balls Do this while placing your legs -and lower back in different positions If you do this while lying on your back each gluteal -contraction should lift you slightly off the ground -Postural Exercise Clenching the Abdominals -Flex your abdominal muscles While you do this suck your gut all the way in You should be -able to absorb a light punch to the stomach without the punch hitting your internal organs -Take a knuckle or a tool and lightly strike the abs in different regions from the ribs to the -pubic bone to ensure that the abs are taut in all areas -Within a minute of performing the abdominal exercise above you should notice your back -round forward and your chest cave in toward your stomach You dont want to reinforce this -Continue to perform the exercise but with your back extended and your chest puffed out -optimal posture tenet four This will overhaul your tendency to collapse the middle of your -back when your abdominal muscles contract Combining this with a contraction in your glutes -will align your ribcage with your pelvis Combining it with the next two exercise will align these -with your neck -Postural Exercise Shoulders Down While Supine -Lie down on the floor on your back and slightly tuck your shoulder blades underneath you -Put your arms at your sides and raise your hands off the floor to the level of your hips Next -push your arms down as if you were reaching for your knees This will prime your shoulders -to remain down and back -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Postural Exercise Bringing the Chin Toward the Chest -While standing gently lean your head back until it aligns with the rest of your spine rather -than in front of it Next bring your chin in toward your neck This firm contraction in the -front of your neck is a chin lock previously described in Chapter Feel how this resituates -the neck -You may want to start out performing exercises on your back on the floor -This remedial position will help you isolate relax and focus When that feels comfortable -try using all of them simultaneously while standing up as in the next exercise -Postural Exercise Optimal Posture While Standing -Stand up straight and perform exercises simultaneously Contract your glutes and -abdominal muscles as you tuck your shoulder blades behind you Puff out your chest and -press your arms toward the floor as you straighten the back of your neck Using antilaxity -stand tall strong and resolute -While you may feel apprehensive about how others will perceive you in this stance initially -dont let this undermine your posture Stand as if people staring at you wouldnt reduce -your resolve Stand as if a caliber handgun discharge wouldnt make you flinch Stand as if -you wouldnt surrender even one iota of your optimal form even if you were being tased -Steel yourself against any startling or trembling -Shift your weight and the distribution of contractions to explore this configuration Even just -cumulative minutes over several days will appreciably desensitize you to the discomfort -involved in sustaining this position After a total of an hour it should become credible to -others and dependable for you -Most programs aimed at improving posture tell us not to stand unnaturally erect like a -soldier While they are correct in claiming that this can create more tension they are wrong to -think that it should never be done Tensing and bracing hard within the four postural tenets -Exercises is the best way to augment posture as long as you limit it to under a minute -at a time allow for ample regenerative breaks and breathe properly If you use antilaxity to -repeatedly fatigue your deep postural muscles and then give them the rest they need they will -gain the strength and endurance to buttress your optimal posture The following illustrations -provide some examples of positions and poses you can perform antilaxity within -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -SPAY AR -poe RU -ee hy ay -ENDS Hr -Thitict -Illustration Examples of positions and poses you can achieve antilaxity from -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Good Posture Requires Healthy Active Spinal Muscles -The spine also known as the backbone or vertebral column is a stacked set of bone disks It -gives the trunk stability and protects the spinal cord The human spine comprises a complex -chain of ligaments fascia bone and intervertebral discs and their health is dependent on the -tone of the surrounding spinal muscles When the tone is either too high or too low dormancy -and damage ensues -When think of the spine envision an inner worm that wants to stretch out and squirm in -all directions Dormant spinal muscle is like an oppressively tightened straitjacket that warps -and restricts the worms movement Large sections of the back neck and hips are not just -braced in most people they are splinted as in a body cast Due to the discomfort involved we -try to keep these joint configurations as still as possible We move the rest of the body around -these rigid wounded areas When we accidentally use them they force us to startle and take -our breath away Thus see the entire spine as a kind of chakra of its own one capable of -holding massive amounts of trauma in the form of painful muscle shortening -The muscles that encase your spinal column constitute your true core and as a unit are -the ultimate module to rehabilitate These muscles run up and down your spine interdigitating -between your vertebrae and connecting them to various other body parts By pushing and -pulling against the vertebral bones spinal muscles help your core bend twist and turn It is -difficult to move athletically without a mobile spine because the neck shoulders and hips are -anchored in the spine where they provide a base for the head arms and legs Joseph Pilates -referred to the neck shoulders and hips as the powerhouse of the body and insisted that -they provide the foundation for all movement For this reason spinal dormancy is a primary -limiting factor for people trying to build strength in their arms and legs Are you having trouble -putting on muscle or losing fat You need to rehab your spine first if you want to reap the -benefits of exercise -You want all the minor muscle groups in and around your spine to be capable of -contracting entirely have full range of motion and articulate effortlessly during everything you -do When the muscles lining your vertebrae are active from top to bottom atlas to coccyx you -cant help but move nimbly hold yourself gracefully and think confidently In the previous -section we started to train them to hold a specific configuration In the next section we will -wake them up -Backward Spinal Stretches Will Straighten You Out -Social apprehension causes us to bend our spine forward flexion but rarely backward -extension This results in difficulty and pain in any motions that require backward bending -Habitual stooping shortens the joint structures in the front of the spine and lengthens those in -the back This creates the characteristic C shape -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -Cervical -Vertebrae -Thoracic -Vertebrae -Lumbar -Vertebrae -Sacrum -Coccyx -Illustration A Healthy spine with natural curvature B Collapsed unhealthy spine with excessive curvature -and exaggerated Cshape -The best way to override the Cshaped spine is to regularly bend in the opposite direction -creating a backward C There are many poses introduced in upcoming chapters to help with -this but the best way to start is to lie back onto a ball Start with a large inflatable stability ball -Spending time lying on your back on top of a stability ball will stretch the compressed muscles -in the front of the spine and contract the atrophied muscles in the back After a few weeks or -months try this with a foam roller Lie on your back on the carpet and place the foam roller in -different places under your spine Very carefully move the foam roller to different areas -relaxing and breathing into the stretches You are spottreating your backward arch Once you -are accustomed to this try rolling down the length of your back on the foam roller Please be -careful The probability of a person with a bad back hurting themselves in this way is so high -that foam rollers are rarely advertised for this purpose You can gravely injure yourself by doing -this too aggressively without listening to your body It should never hurt Rolling down the -length of your spine on top of a basketball is even more ambitious However after working up -to it anyone would benefit from performing this daily as in the exercise below -Postural Exercise Backward Extension ona Ball -Lie on your back and place a basketball underneath your neck between your shoulder -blades Beginners should use a deflated basketball and work up to using a fully inflated ball -Carefully roll from the top of your spine to the bottom three times Stop at the kinked -portions and stretch into the position from all angles This will help you achieve spinal -contractions in the weakest of muscles that you could never ordinarily reach while standing -or sitting If you use the antilaxity protocol while doing this the contractions will make your -back strong and straight Make sure you are relaxed and breathing deeply Without paced -breathing you will resist the balls curvature With paced breathing you will melt into it This -will literally straighten you out -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration A Backward bend on a stability ball B Achieving a full backward bend at different spinal -segments using a foam roller C Rolling down the length of the spine on a basketball -Maintain Good Posture in Bed and When Waking -We have talked about optimal posture while standing In this section we will discuss it during -sleep and in the next section during sitting The best sleeping posture is limp and linear -You want to sleep with a straight back and neck Avoid curling up into the fetal position -which usually involves bracing and reinforces the Cshaped spinal configuration Attaining -proper support can help When sleeping on your back try placing a pillow under the knees -When sleeping on the side place a pillow between the knees If you sleep predominantly on -your side buy a body pillow and hug it straddling it with your arms and legs You also want a -firm mattress that does not sag or contour your existing posture An extrafirm mattress may -take weeks to get used to but it will straighten your spine as you slowly learn not to brace -against a flat surface -Illustration A Woman curled into a Cshape while sleeping B Slightly improved sleeping position -C Muchimproved straight sleeping position -Postural Exercise Stretches to Do in Bed -When your alarm clock goes off in the morning hit the snooze button once and buy yourself -five minutes to perform three fundamental stretches Employ antilaxity while doing the -following -Lay on your stomach Lie there with your head turned to each side for a few minutes -to get a good stretch in your neck If laying on your stomach puts a strain on your -lower back bend one knee and bring it toward your chest -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -Lay in the yoga L shape pictured below and slowly rock your feet in different -directions to get a good stretch through your hips -Lay on your back and place a pillow or two under your thoracic spine Spend time -lying motionless then try stretching your chest neck and back from this position -Illustration A Laying stomach head to the side B Lshaped stretch for the hips C Pillow under the -thoracic spine -Postural Exercise Stretches to Do Out of Bed -After you get out of bed set your breath metronome for five minutes and perform the -following antilaxity exercises to wake up your spine You can combine these stretches with -Exercise by performing them while looking into your own wide eyes in a mirror -Start with knees shins backs of the feet and hands on the floor For the first minute -press away from the ground while shrugging the shoulders Do this while warming -into the forward curves kyphosis in your neck middle back and lower back -For the next two minutes warm up the backward curves lordosis in your neck -middle back and lower back -For the final two minutes sit on the floor with the back of your legs flat against the -ground Let your head hang and sink your head and neck toward your knees -Illustration A Kneeling shoulder shrug with full kyphosis in the neck and lower back B Kneeling backward -stretch with full lordosis in the neck and lower back C Sitting forward stretch with full kyphosis in the middle back -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Sitting with Poor Posture Is Extremely Unhealthy -Most of us sit far too much Many of us are forced to sit just to earn a living It is estimated that -percent of office workers use computers with percent reporting usage of at least four -hours per day Unfortunately using a computer for four or more hours per day greatly -increases the risk of musculoskeletal disorders This is one of the reasons office workers who -sit in chairs garner more musculoskeletal injuries than any other industry and have the highest -risk of heart disease diabetes metabolic syndrome cancer and back and neck pain Even -people who do not work in an office setting develop misalignments from sitting This happens -at school in the car and in front of the television -Sitting intensifies the rounding of our spines into the Cshape When the spine is rounded -the weight distribution changes creating perpendicular shear forces This resting tension -compresses the spine and weakens crucial muscles robbing you of the mobility and strength -you need to sit stand and walk properly Worse yet because your body adapts to the position -you assume throughout the day the more you sit the more you want to sit -In his book Deskbound physical therapist Kelly Starrett calls sitting a toxic position that -feasts on athletic potential It truly is The best recourse is to vary your posture often to get -blood to stagnant poorly perfused muscles You should shift positions every two minutes from -one neutral position to another Every minutes straighten your legs squeeze your thighs -together and flex your glutes Grab the back of the chair behind you and use it to twist It is -also important to take fiveminute breaks during which you walk away from your chair every -hour Dont be afraid to lie down take a walk or stretch during your breaks -The postural misalignments due to sitting are made worse by shallow breathing Studies -show that people automatically engage in shallow breathing when working at a desk especially -if they are behind a keyboard In some studies every participant who placed their hands ona -keyboard demonstrated an increased respiration rate and reduced motion of the diaphragm -This happens because sitting positionally inhibits the diaphragm As mentioned earlier -slumping encroaches on the diaphragms natural range of motion forcing shallow breathing -which in turn causes the release of stress hormones -Sitting up straight in your chair deepens your breath as does breathing through your nose -So you might want to think about taping your mouth at your desk to ensure nasal breathing -also strongly suggest using a breath metronome at your desk Remember how hard it was -back in Chapter to eat a meal while following a breath metronome for the first time Trying to -do office work while engaged in paced breathing is even more difficult to coordinate at first -It will initially interfere with your concentration -Most people hold their breath intermittently when trying to focus their attention in what -has been called concentration apnea As you read in Chapter shallow distressed -breathing helps us focus in the short term due to its association with adrenaline and alertness -However after using a breath metronome at your desk for a week or two you can override -your tendency toward concentration apnea and develop the ability to focus concertedly while -breathing diaphragmatically Place your phone with the breathing app software running next to -your computer monitor and follow it out of the corner of your eye Dont be surprised if pairing -paced breathing with desk work helps you change your whole attitude about your job while -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -increasing your productivity and work ethic in general It is much like whistling while -you work -The Ideal Sitting Posture -To sit optimally you must maintain the natural lordosis in your neck and lower back that is -present while standing To do this sit up in your chair with your back straight Shoulders should -hang straight down Elbows should not be in front of the torso and hands should be below the -level of the elbows Place your keyboard accordingly -When it comes to your lower back and hips it is essential to distribute your weight equally -Remove anything from your back pockets such as a wallet or phone to assist with this When -sitting keep your knees a few inches wider than your hips as this will stabilize your pelvis -Your knees should also be level with or slightly below the hips but not above them Keep the -toes pointed forward with the feet flat on the floor If your back is leaning against the chair -press your buttocks against the chair back too If not sit at the edge of the seat placing about -percent of your weight is on your feet -It is obligatory to sit with most of your weight transferred to the chair through your sitz -bones ischial tuberosities The sitz bones are two protuberances at the lowest point of the hip -bone pictured below The cushion on many chairs makes it challenging to find your sitz bones -However when sitting on a hard surface you should be able to find them easily If you cannot -feel two hard contact points one under each gluteus then you are not sitting on your sitz -bones and your spine is likely curved Curved pillars have little structural integrity Rock back -and forth on your sitz bones to find a sturdy upright posture This is active sitting You are more -likely to stay seated on your sitz bones when you sit on the edge of the chair sit on a hard -wooden or metal chair or place a hard object like a book underneath you -Most people actively avoid sitting on the sitz bones sitting instead on their tail bone -and tucking the pelvis like a shrimp This is a form of lumbar kyphosis also known as posterior -pelvic tilt A tucked pelvis inactivates our hip flexors putting all the strain of sitting on the -lower back Avoid this by pretending you have a vestigial tail extending from the base of your -spine Dont sit on the base of your tail Instead sit below it on the sitz bones allowing your -imaginary tail to emerge just above the place of contact with your chair -Illustration A Pelvis with sitz bones at the bottom B Pelvis seen from the side resting on tail bone -C Pelvis resting on sitz bones D Skeleton sitting on sitz bones -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -It can be tiring to sit on your sitz bones all day Therefore do what postural experts advise -against and sink down in your chair sitting on your tailbone for at least two to five minutes -every hour You can use this position as a brief counterpose When you do so stretch -lordotically and kyphotically and swivel the hips Standing is good too Many people use -standing desks You might consider placing your laptop on a bookshelf around waist height for -a few hours at a time to create your own standing desk -The design of most chairs conforms to the average persons poor posture However you -can avoid this trap by buying an ergonomic postureconscious desk chair You might consider -buying a lumbar pillow specially designed to support your lower back You can also place a roll -vertically down your spine helping you to push your shoulders back Change the settings on -both your chair and car seat frequently to expose your sitting posture to different loading -profiles If your seat reclines spend a portion of your sitting time leaning back at an angle -The more positions you can use the better -Cross and spread your legs more often Being comfortable sitting with the legs spread is -one of the most telling signs of dominance We must remove the stigma against men crossing -their legs and women spreading their legs Similarly many people inhibit pronounced flexion -and extension of the lower back because they fear others will see it as sexual We need to feel -comfortable assuming these postures in public because they allow us to refresh our hips groin -and lumbar spine leading to more postural variation and stronger more mobile backs -Daily sitting time is a major risk factor for diabetes and cardiovascular disease This is the -case even in people who exercise regularly Studies have shown that even daily exercise cannot -counteract the effects of sitting and sedentariness However think that diaphragmatic -breathing postural variation antilaxity and antirigidity discussed in the next chapter may -Remaining in a static sitting position for years on end dramatically reduces circulation and -mobility We can avoid this by using other postures that serve as alternatives to traditional -ways of sitting The figures below offer some for your consideration -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -Illustration Several different positions for working or reading that are good alternatives to conventional -sitting The oblong ball pictured in the last two illustrations is an inflatable peanut -Our ancestors rarely sat on a raised surface like a chair Rather they sat on the ground -knelt or squatted In other words chair sitting is unnatural for humans Yet Americans sit in -chairs or sofas for an average of hours a day Many experts believe that musculoskeletal -integrity is much better in countries where people sleep on the floor use squat toilets and do -not use chairs This is because they must crouch kneel and bend over several times per day -Many Americans co not crouch kneel or bend over at all -The main reason older people are placed into nursing homes is that they cannot get off the -ground on their own Indeed the ability to get up from and down to the floor is a good -predictor of overall mortality This should motivate you whether reading watching TV -or relaxing to spend as much time on the ground in as many different positions as possible -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Dont watch TV from the couch Watch it from a million different positions on the floor -You might start with some of the following -pro tia PBK -A EAL Y -RAG BACs -BA cca -Dd Be AH A -baa -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -Conclusion -believe that in the workplace in classrooms and even within families we are constantly -sending each other nonverbal feedback practically bullying each other into slouching When -someone else stands straight we have a natural inclination to be offended Our instinct is to try -to pull them back down What we should do is applaud them while being reminded to better -monitor our own posture If you notice people trying to coerce you back into slouching just -ignore it and reassure yourself that they are in the wrong -This chapter guided you to brace within the five tenets of optimal posture and pair this -bracing with diaphragmatic breathing While doing so you should have noticed that some -points within each posture were marked by weakness and pain Holding your back neck and -shoulders in firmly upright positions probably feels tight and somewhat intense It is a brittle -aching pain almost as if the muscles are asking you to leave them alonewarning you that -excessive use will lead to injury This aching is the signature of dormant muscle and to treat it -we need an entirely different technique The next chapter will show you how to rehab it by -contracting into it and breathing through the discomfort using a method call antirigidity -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Mammals signal submission with their body posture They collapse the spine which -over time strains it and causes pain -e Postural concessions lead the muscles that support confident posture and dominance -poses to become frail shortened and stuck in partial contraction -e Stooping to look nonthreatening will bend your spine into a forward Cshape over time -e Backbends repair this forward Cshape by strengthening your backward C -e Laying backward over an inflatable stability ball foam roller or basketball will straighten -your spine -e The five tenets of optimal posture are -Space your feet shoulderwidth apart with toes pointing forward -Roll your hips forward and contract your gluteus muscles -Tense your abdomen taut and gently pull your belly button toward the spine -Pull your shoulders back and down -Tilt your head back and pull your chin toward your throat -e Building postural muscles can be accomplished by pairing paced breathing with firm -contractions in the muscles that support the five tenets above -e Combining very firm contractions of muscles that are not used to contracting firmly and -may tremble under load and combining this with paced breathing is a therapeutic -method called antilaxity -e Vary your position often whether sitting standing or lying down -e Postural inattention is a major contributor to poor posture so be mindful of your -posture during everyday activities -e Sitting tense motionlessly while shallow breathing is highly detrimental to posture and -health in general -e Sitting directly on the sitz bones rather than the tailbone will support your lower back -and keep it strong -e It is much healthier to sit on the floor in various positions than to sit in a chair or -a couch -Chapter Reprogram Your Posture for Power -Chapter Endnotes -Satariano W Guralnik J M Jackson R J Marottoli R A Phelan E A Prohaska -T R Mobility and aging New directions for public health action American Journal of -Public Health -de Waal F The bonobo and the atheist In search of humanism among the -primates WW Norton Company -Collins A Gestures body language and behavior DKC -Dael N Mortillaro M Scherer K R Emotion expression in body action -and posture Emotion -Mason L Joy M Peper E Harvey R A March Posture matters Poster -presentation th Annual Meeting of the Association for Applied Psychophysiology and -Biofeedback Chicago IL -Michalak J Troje N F Fischer J Vollmar P Heidenreich T Schulte D -Embodiment of sadness and depression Gait patterns associated with dysphoric mood -Psychosomatic Medicine -Peper E Booiman A Lin M Harvey R Increase strength and mood with -posture Biofeedback -Peper E Lin IM Harvey R Perez J How posture affects memory recall -and mood Biofeedback -Peper E Lin IM Increase or decrease depression How body postures influence -your energy level Biofeedback -Canales J Z Cordas T A Fiquer J T Cavalcante A F Moreno R A -Posture and body image in individuals with major depressive disorder A controlled study -Revista Brasileira de Psiquiatria -Wilkes C Kydd R Sagar M Broadbent E Upright posture improves affect and -fatigue in people with depressive symptoms Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental -Psychiatry -Pavilack L Alstedter N Painfree posture handbook Althea Press -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Bond M The new rules of posture How to sit stand and move in the modern -world Healing Arts Press -Sjogaard G Lundberg U Kadefors R The role of muscle activity and mental -load in the development of pain and degenerative processes at the muscle cell level during -computer work European Journal of Applied Physiology -Starrett K Cordoza G Becoming a supple leopard The ultimate guide to -resolving pain preventing injury and optimizing athletic performance Victory Belt Publishing -Starrett K Starrett J Cordoza G Deskbound Standing up to a sitting world -Victory Belt Publishing -Peper E Harvey R Tylova H Stress protocol for assessing computer related -disorders Biofeedback -Peper E Burke A Peper E J Captured by the computer A psychophysiological -profile of boys playing computer games Proceedings of the Thirty Second Annual Meeting of -the Association for Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback Wheat Ridge CO AAPB -Olsson A The power of your breath The secret key to reshaping your looks your -body your health and your weight Anders Olsson -Bailey D P Hewson D J Champion R B Sayegh S M Sitting time and risk of -cardiovascular disease and diabetes A systematic review and metaanalysis American Journal -of Preventative Medicine -Levine J Get up Why your chair is killing you and what you can do about it St -Martins Press -Starrett K Starrett J Cordoza G Deskbound Standing up to a sitting world -Victory Belt Publishing -Brito L B Ricardo D R Araujo D S Ramos P S Myers J Araujo C G -Ability to sit and rise from the floor as a predictor of allcause mortality European Journal of -Preventive Cardiology -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant -Muscle to Fatigue -The last chapter explained that to have optimal posture you must free your postural muscles -from partial contraction This chapter emphasizes that to do this you must search your body -for these segments of dormant muscle and push them through their full range of motion -These full firm contractions should be held long enough to push the muscle to fatigue As soon -as fatigue is reached it should be followed by full relaxation This chapter will describe how to -use this new technique that call antirigidity therapy to reinstate motion diversity in your -life created this technique by experimenting on myself and developed it further while using it -with my clients It will work for you but only if you are breathing diaphragmatically -Using Dormant Muscles Wakens Them from Dormancy -The lives of our nomadic huntergatherer ancestors featured endless variation in movement -They spent their time foraging hunting scouting ranging and setting up and breaking down -camps They dug for vegetables picked fruit made weapons cleaned animal hides prepared -food and carried wood water and children On the other hand the modern human habitat is -one of urban dwelling sedentary technology use and cultures of convenience Most people go -months without extending their muscles beyond the requirements for mere walking Compared -to our ancestors the geometric diversity of our daily motions is impoverished -We are essentially animals in captivity imprisoned by the incredibly low variation of our -movement patterns By moving in the same limited ways we deny our bodies the nutritious -movement they are starving for We selflimit our ranges of motion because of bracing -postural inattention intimidation sitting restraining working positions laziness surgery injury -and loadbearing including things like pregnancy heavy backpacks breast augmentation and -obesity The tension from these activities results in shortened hypertonic dormant muscle -Medical experts have documented that dormant segments of the spine exhibit many of the -same physiological properties as cadaver spine They get so little blood that they might as well -be zombie flesh Because their oxygen and nutrient supply has been strangled off these beef -jerkylike muscles in your back hurt Pushing them into contraction outside of their customarily -restricted range causes pain Accidentally forcing them into rapid full contraction eg during a -fall can be excruciating This pain and fear of it can influence us to avoid using dormant -muscle entirely -We engineer the use of dormant muscles out of our lives and find ways to get around -having to use them which leads to a poorly balanced and ungainly physique This -compensation leads us to use other muscles that are biomechanically less efficient at -completing the task Then these muscles also take on strain To correct this problem we must -reteach ourselves to use the dormant partially contracted muscle by flexing through the -untapped phases of its contractile range -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Antirigidity Training The AchingCracking Method -The antirigidity technique involves finding the most dormant parts of the body and subjecting -them to a fullrange stretch and fullrange contraction The first step is to find a dormant joint -To do this you must search for two sensations that are usually found together cracking or -popping of the joint and sore achy muscle You should notice that as you bring a joint into -the range where it cracks it will feel sore if held in that position These areas feel brittle -because they are frail from disuse Once you have found a position like this you want to gently -contract the muscles involved while engaging in paced breathing -At first it feels unnatural to hold a posture that cracks for a prolonged period Your impulse -will be to achieve the crack and allow the muscles to relax immediately thereafter Avoid this -inclination Whether the joint cracks is not important What is important is that you take your -time stretching and flexing into the joint configurations susceptible to cracking Cracking -provides temporary relief from joint pain through the release of endorphins but does not heal -tension You want permanent relief that is provided only by strengthening the joint and the -muscles surrounding it -Antirigidity Protocol -Find a contraction or active stretch that feels stiff and achy when held This often -involves an unfamiliar position or posture and leads to cracking at the joint The point -where this configuration cracks is the most in need of rehab Engage stabilize and hold -the position until it fatigues This usually takes between five and seconds -Hold the general parameters of the posture while varying others Move the joint -dynamically utilizing its range of motion in every possible vector flexing into the ones -that seem the stiffest or sorest If you can continually reposition you can approach the -problem from different angles Antirigidity can be done with concentric contractions -in which the muscle shortens eccentric contractions in which the muscle lengthens -or isometric contractions in which the muscle does not change length -Allow the area at least seconds of complete rest before you try again Use this respite -to recognize what the muscle feels like when it is completely resting -Stimulate dormant muscles throughout the body in this way while breathing correctly -As long as you are breathing diaphragmatically you should feel the ache diminish in a -matter of seconds At first the ache may be so intense that it makes paced breathing -difficult In that case just ensure that you are taking long passive exhalations You can -facilitate this by taking deep inhalations through the mouth and then puckering your lips -and blowing out for as long as possible to reinforce the relaxation response -After your antirigidity training session it is essential to allow these muscles to relax -completely so lie down employing the corpse pose body scan or progressive muscle -relaxation from Chapter and let the contractions subside -Start by targeting raw and achy areas in your shoulders neck back and hips This achiness is -the deep somatic pain and myalgia that we discussed in Chapter Search for this discomfort -within your unexplored end ranges of motion It helps to position yourself in ways that are out -of the ordinary Wiggle and writhe in these positions as you hunt for tissue to restore -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -Gently jostle the muscles to get them moving Start with what you can find and then spend the -most time in the configurations you would like to heal You are hunting for that crick in the -neck tweak in the shoulder and twinge in the lower back By the time you have used anti -rigidity to dispel all the achiness from your body your posture will be statuesque -Antirigidity Activity Sense the Tightness in Your Shoulders -Stand or sit with your hands on your hips Keep your hands there and press your elbows out -in front of you You should feel a tight stiff sensation in your upper back shoulders and -arms This is the aching sensation that am asking you to locate throughout your body Play -with the posture gently shrugging bending your elbows and flapping the arms Use the anti -rigidity protocol above to find sore muscles while stretching and contracting within this pose -Ilustration Antirigidity for the shoulders -Antirigidity Activity Contract Dormant Muscle in the Neck -Locate the achy muscles in your neck There should be many uncomfortable positions that -feel sore and crack Try looking up as far as you can while rotating your head to both sides -Try looking down as far as you can and then to both sides Try touching your chin to your -chest and then tilting your head to each side Try touching your chin to each shoulder -repeatedly When you find an uncomfortable position hold it for several seconds while -maintaining paced breathing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Antirigidity for the neck -As you work through these tender areas integral sections of your body will start to -open up You might ask yourself Is this whole region going to become unlocked and available -to me Yes it will If you keep practicing eventually it will all come unglued Below are -illustrations of some antirigidity poses that will help you to expose and recondition frailty -As you practice these you will inevitably come up with poses of your own that are better suited -for your particular strain pattern -igue -tirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fat -Chapter An -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -exgu E -eo -hl -QDR CR A -ET GIN A -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -At first antirigidity work feels unnatural but after a while your muscles will thirst for it -and you will find yourself doing it without realizing it Relish the alleviation of the ache Bask in -the sensation of sending fresh blood through dormant tissue Memorize the sensorial signature -of tensity It feels a little like the gnawing burn that accompanies lactic acid buildup It is also -similar to the soreness you feel when massaged Antirigidity will help you locate the best -candidates for compression and percussion If for example you used antirigidity to identify -the precise location of tightness to the right of your lower cervical spine you should then try to -compress it Using massage to release muscles after antirigidity training will allow them to fully -relax so they can heal -After antirigidity the muscle you treated will have increased blood flow for several hours -This means that any other activity or exercise you perform during this time will recruit that -muscle and condition it to be more easily recruited in the future However within just a few -hours of disuse the muscles will stagnate again The more frequently you refresh dormant -muscles with antirigidity the faster they will come out of dormancy recommend using it -before and after long periods of sitting upon waking before bed and after your usual -exercise routine -Using antirigidity you teach your brain to control muscle that it has come to ignore -through learned disuse You are actively relearning how to incorporate these neglected muscles -into your daily routines and overall posture This will develop your proprioceptive awareness -knowledge about where your muscles are in space and kinesthetic awareness ability to -coordinate muscles cohesively while enhancing neuromuscular coordination and agility -Antirigidity will also reduce the fidgeting and restlessness that painful dormant muscle causes -It might look strange to others but dont worry about that Feel comfortable performing -antirigidity training wherever you go whether in front of friends or in public believe that -antirigidity therapy is one of the most beneficial somatic selfhealing techniques available -How Antirigidity Works -Antirigidity causes mechanical deformations in muscle that result in cascades of beneficial -biochemical processes For instance it is known that contracting dormant muscle compresses -embedded arterioles and other blood vessels causing their walls to relax and spread open -vasodilation The walls open wide drawing blood into the surrounding capillaries This pulls -oxygen into the area and allows the clearance of waste products built up from sustained -contraction Over time it enhances the resilience and pliability of not just muscles but also -tendons ligaments and fascia -Some of your muscles get this perfusion and clearance every day but the dormant ones -are deprived of it Even during a fullbody workout dormant muscles often receive only -minimal contraction Exercise only improves the distribution of oxygen and nutrients to the -muscles used in that particular exercise In other words the benefits of exercise are not -systemic This is why pursuing varied movement is so important Missing out on essential loads -is like missing out on essential vitamins -In physical rehabilitation and sports training there is a popular principle called SAID -specific adaptation to imposed demand This states that your muscles will gradually get better -at the demands you place on it If you contract seldomused muscles they will adapt and with -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -time be able to contract fully The best way to take advantage of the SAID principle is to make -small demands on the body and to gradually increase the intensity as the body adapts -Antirigidity gently forces trigger points to contract causes them to unravel and burn out -This lengthens the muscle quells muscle spasms extinguishes ongoing inflammation and -unfurls myofascial restrictions As you do this you are weeding the trauma out of your spine -scaling down your chronic pain and diminishing its emotional burden By providing the muscle -the exercise it has been deprived of full contraction affords it the ability to rest and recover In -essence by pushing muscles with minimal capability for endurance to full fatigue antirigidity -builds their endurance Because much of your dormant muscle is postural converting it into -muscle capable of enduring body weight will resurrect your bodys foundation -For clarity the following table summarizes some of the important distinctions between -antilaxity and antirigidity It is important to note that the two do overlap to an extent and that -they also complement each other in practice -Sensations -Involved -Action -Consequence -Anti Firm Hypotonic Reinforcing Weakness Increasing -laxity isometric atrophied postures of and strength and -contraction muscle strength trembling tone -Anti Stretch Hypertonic Rehabilitating Aching Decreasing -rigidity combined dormant muscles stuck in soreness weakness and -with firm muscle partial and excessive tone -contraction contraction cracking -Table Comparing Antilaxity with Antirigidity -Antirigidity Fills in Missing Corners -Dormant muscles are responsible for the missing corners in your range of motion Because -the muscle is stuck in partial contraction it is incapable of moving pliantly People of Eastern -philosophical persuasions call these energy blocks While prior chapters have examined the -effect this has on the diaphragm eyes face and vocal apparatus this chapter focuses -specifically on the spine core and postural muscles There are numerous muscles throughout -your spine that you only contract within percent of their full range of motion Find them and -rescue them by pushing them toward -As you rehab missing corners you will expose other missing corners beneath them There -are hierarchies of missing corners to reestablish When one spinal segment is curled up and -inoperative it undermines those nearby it rendering them inaccessible Correcting one -provides leverage for correcting others Using the antirigidity method regularly you will -continue to discover repositories of strength you never knew you had -You may come to recognize that many of your most dormant muscles derive from previous -injuries Using antirigidity encountered many previous strains and sprains from adolescence -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -and young adulthood that had forgotten about The process is like unearthing fossils If you -drive then you probably have dormant muscle in your right ankle knee and hip from working -the gas and the brake Likewise if you work on a computer you probably have strain in your -right shoulder that runs up your neck from bracing while holding the mouse had pronounced -lumbar knots from decades of bending over the sink to wash my face and brush my teeth -The problem was did those things from a single fixed position without contracting my glutes -Antirigidity treated all of these -Do you ever bend over and reach a point where you know that you will hurt yourself if you -continue This is a corner that is completely missing Most people have countless postural -configurations like this that cannot be loaded at all Many muscles in the hips and lower back -can barely withstand a small fraction of body weight You want to load these frail muscles very -lightly at first increasing the load over time To load the muscles with less than body weight -you must lessen the effects of gravity by placing your body into unfamiliar yet supported -positions like those illustrated above The techniques used in Pilates and the poses used in yoga -can also be used to this end -Using Antirigidity with Distressed Breathing Is Counterproductive -Performing antirigidity will make you want to breathe shallowly One of the main reasons that -dormant muscle stays dormant is because every time you try to use it it takes your breath -away Pairing distressed breathing with antirigidity defeats the purpose In fact shallow -breathing is enough to turn antirigidity work into injurious tension building When first -started developing the antirigidity technique many friends saw me stretching restlessly and -told me You know you look to me like you are just making the tension worse They felt this -way because doing the same exercises would irritate their muscles Contracting dormant -muscle is something that our bodies naturally tend to avoid because under distressed -breathing the muscle will only become further agitated Diaphragmatic breathing makes all -the difference -Be mindful that you are breathing diaphragmatically at no more than six breaths per -minute or else antirigidity will lead to more tension It is imperative that you breathe long full -smooth breaths preferably through the nose Employ a breath metronome when possible -Consider performing antirigidity after a diaphragmatic breathing session You will find that five -minutes of breathing along with a breath metronome will make you more limber and make it -easier to identify achy muscles After minutes of paced breathing antirigidity will feel like -picking lowhanging fruit -Antirigidity is also accentuated after exercise massage or the application of heat It is far -easier to sense and contract dormant muscle after a workout or rubdown The same goes for a -hot shower or bath This is the rationale behind the practice of hot yoga To experience this -take a shower that is as hot as possible without being uncomfortable You might want to rub -moistened Epsom salt into your neck and shoulders beforehand Let the heated water hit the -back of your neck and stream down your spine You will notice that your neck cracks more -easily is more flexible and you can more fully contract the muscles for upwards of minutes -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Rushing Antirigidity is Counterproductive -As you get better at performing antirigidity you will become more ambitious and attempt to -rejuvenate the stiffest areas in your neck and lower back By moving slowly and carefully -you can work through these boundaries However if you try to force through them the tissues -will become more defensive not less Dormant tissues require a gentle approach Pretend that -you are trying to slowly lengthen a piece of a plastic bag without tearing it At a certain point -you should feel a slight resistance to your movement Some physical therapists refer to this as -a stretch point As you hold the position wait patiently When the aching sensation fades -your stretch point is releasing -Bouncing through a stretch can be counterproductive unless it is a very subtle bounce -This is because hard bounces pull quickly on muscle fibers alerting specialized sensors within -the muscle that it has been suddenly overstretched Nerve signals from these receptors will -cause the muscle to shorten further which is exactly what you dont want Make your -contractions gradual and slow using only percent of your maximum effort Think of -melting into each stretch If you contract too rapidly or forcefully you will engage fasttwitch -muscle fibers Contracting slowly will enlist the slow twitch endurance fibers that establish -enduring postural tone -sought out the most painful and weak cruxes in my body and totally reclaimed them -However knew there was a chance that could herniate a disc or sprain a vital ligament -This is why you must perform antirigidity very carefully especially when starting out -Working through your most frail areas can lead to great injury However once restored -they will become highly resistant to injury Choose consistency over intensity Avoid -movements that prove to aggravate and pursue those that heal Chip away at your frailty a -little each day to make every bit of your bodys muscle accessible -It is necessary to mention that antirigidity is not contortionism You are not attempting to -force your body into strange and awkward positions Also do not mistake the ache of dormant -muscle with the pain of pushing a joint outside its intended range With time you will learn to -recognize the exact difference between engaging frailty and intruding into the bodys natural -joint barriers -You should never hurt or even be sore the next day after using antirigidity If you are -you either went too hard or have a serious underlying injury If you experience a tight pinching -or burning sensation there could be nerve damage In that case discontinue immediately -If you have a related disease or disorder discuss antirigidity with a physician before using it -Carefully monitor your pain pattern If existing pain becomes worse from these activities -discontinue immediately and seek advice from a qualified physician -Normal cracking is fine but grating popping and crackling sounds indicate a -musculoskeletal injury Do not attempt antirigidity if you experience sensations of pins and -needles or numbness Do not attempt if you have been in a recent accident or experience -severe headaches If the pain spreads or radiates to other locations stop the exercises -immediately and consult your doctor Know your limits and do not overdo it -Antirigiditys Relation to Chiropractic -have visited five different chiropractors in my life for a total of around appointments These -visits in my late twenties helped inspire me to develop the antirigidity method recommend -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -visiting a chiropractor yourself so that you can become acquainted with what it feels like to -have the body in a configuration where highly dormant muscle is directly engaged and released -The first time went to a chiropractor he commented on how tight my neck was He was -able to crack my spine in several locations This influenced me to go home and flex into the -same spinal configurations he created when performing the adjustments For instance would -try to fully extend my neck looking toward the ceiling while rotating my head from left to right -It ached deeply and wondered if working through this aching could improve my neck It did -Only two years later the same chiropractor told me that he was unable to adjust my spine -at all When he tried to perform spinal manipulations my joints moved with the manipulation -fluidly without cracking In fact can no longer find a chiropractor who can successfully crack -my neck or lower back After feeling the muscles on the back of my neck with their fingers -some told me that my neck is healthy and does not need to be adjusted This is entirely due to -the antirigidity method -Joint cracking is a sign of degenerative activity stemming from passive tension When the -muscles surrounding the spine are held in passive tension this causes dislocation subluxation -of vertebrae These weak distorted muscle segments are incapable of keeping the vertebrae in -ideal alignment The advantage of the chiropractic adjustment is that it gets straight to the core -of dormant muscle stretching it rapidly and delivering blood It is common for a patient to -report that they can breathe again after manipulation To me this suggests that vertebral -misalignment somehow affects the diaphragms mobility The cracking also produces -endogenous morphine temporarily relieving pain and bringing patients back for future -adjustments However chiropractic treatment is only a temporary solution When a -chiropractor performs an alignment the spine briefly becomes neutral However because this -does not strengthen the muscles or improve their endurance the vertebrae fall quickly back -out of alignment sometimes within hours -Most chiropractors do not insist that their patients exercise the opened areas after -adjustments This is why there is limited evidence for the clinical efficacy of chiropractic over -physical therapy However have found that antirigidity exercises complement both -chiropractic and physical therapy It may take months or years of antirigidity training to fully -contract a previously dormant muscle but once you can it will be fully reintegrated and will no -longer require chiropractic or rehabilitative work -After six months of using antirigidity could crack dozens of joints throughout my body -at will Because knew my posture and physique had improved tremendously began to -tentatively conclude that increasing the ability to crack joints might be the overall goal -However after another six months of this routine found that much of the cracking subsided -As my joints became healthier they cracked less and less This made me realize that cracking -is a means to an end In other words as you employ antirigidity you can expect to go -through three phases an inability to crack plentiful cracking and then an abatement -of cracking -could not crack my joints at first because did not have the strength in the surrounding -muscles to leverage my way into the unhealthy muscle After six months my joints were -cracking profusely because finally had some strength in the muscles that would support my -efforts to flex into the weakest areas After another six months of employing the technique the -cracking subsided because even my weakest muscles and joints were no longer degenerative -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -The point is that you want to stretch and flex into sore joints throughout your body using the -cracking and aching sensations as diagnostic tools -Antirigidity ls Not the Same as Stretching -Stretching has gotten a bad rap in recent decades because static stretching has been shown to -be less effective for athletes than once thought This is because static stretching on its own is -too passive and does not involve muscular contractions It involves immobilizing a joint and -stretching the muscles and connective tissues to their greatest possible length This increases -the resting length of muscles by lessening the sensitivity of tension receptors in the muscle -Studies have shown that excessive static stretching can lead to joint laxity and hypermobility -Stretching muscles too far reduces strength and explosive force Many stretching programs -encourage hyperflexibility of muscles which can even result in mechanical instability of the -joints Antirigidity doesnt use static stretching it uses active stretching -Static stretching increases passive range of motion With antirigidity however we are -interested in increasing active range of motion Unlike passive static stretching you want to -perform stretches that accept load throughout the entire range The stretching aspect of -antirigidity will increase the joints mobility and restore proper length to the muscles involved -The contraction aspect will increase the stability of the joint and increase the strength of the -muscles Overall antirigidity should be thought of as a combination of stretching and -contracting in which you explore the boundaries of tension while applying lowgrade but -continuous tensile loads Yoga done with active loading can accomplish antirigidity as well -Employing Antirigidity During Yoga -Antirigidity methods are implicit in yoga but there are ways to make them more explicit -When take a yoga class assume the poses as directed and then perform antirigidity while -inside the pose For instance most yoga instructors tell you to keep your neck straight and still -while in downward dog because they dont want distressed breathers to hurt their necks -But you and can safely assume downward dog and use the unique loading properties of the -pose to find and strengthen frail joints From downward dog it is possible to leverage your way -into countless stiff neck positions that are treatable through antirigidity Yoga teachers refer to -achy dormant muscle as sticky while practitioners often describe stretches that rouse -dormant muscle as delicious Use yoga to help you probe for and discover delectable -contractions -In many types of hatha yoga there is a risk of overstretching certain muscle groups during -a pose Many yoga instructors and practitioners abuse their bodies by pushing too hard in an -attempt to achieve an ideal form The best way to improve form is not to force the body into -a static stretch but rather to use the pose to gradually rehab the dormant muscle that is -keeping you from executing the pose ideally Ease yourself into the postures and vary your -weight while in them so they are not static and isolated To do this you want to lean in -different directions play with the articulations shift your weight and alter the poses geometry -to achieve various wellrounded contractions Remembering to use the five tenets of optimal -posture from the last chapter during yoga will enhance postural strengthening -recommend that anyone interested in yoga start with basic lyengar or restorative yoga -to develop proper form and an appropriate emotional relationship with their body After a few -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -of these lessons encourage trying as many types of yoga as possible until you find one that -you truly enjoy You can take classes in a studio or at home using a free internet video Yoga has -shown numerous clinical benefits such as improving emotional regulation and reducing -physiological arousal It has even been shown to assist significantly in the treatment of post -traumatic stress disorder believe every person should perform yoga with antirigidity on a -weekly if not daily basis -The following sketches should help you if you want to practice at home strongly -recommend moving through the classic yoga poses here as often as possible Choose at least -each night and spend one to two minutes in each while engaging in paced breathing -Another great option is to put something educational on television then sit a phone or a tablet -down next to the TV using it on silent to stream an online yoga class do this for twenty -minutes every night and learn something while stretch An added benefit of performing -antirigidity and yoga before bed is that it will help you sleep like a baby due to the copious -endorphins released -Lp ag ye -GPG -SAR ez j -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -WWCAR -P fe -JQ FI IS -Sr IS -Bal phe -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -PGR cok -PSS AY -PINON -a SIE YY -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -aN -fp Pp Ap -TTT e -Illustration yoga poses and positions -Health Benefits of Yoga -e Makes muscles ligaments and tendons more elastic and resilient -e Stimulates stem cells creating collagen -e Improves fitness flexibility and strength -e Reduces pain and improves mobility better than other forms of low impact exercise -e Can reduce blood pressure and risk factors for cardiovascular disease -e Seems to improve symptoms related to depression PTSD and anxiety -Conclusion -When was went to a nearby court to play basketball The moves and skills that -developed in my late teens had disintegrated felt incredibly clumsy and feeble on the court -wanted to know why Because had not played basketball in years assumed that had lost -the memories and neural connections responsible for my skills was researching the -neuroscience of Alzheimers at the time and that influenced me to assume that because -hadnt used those brain pathways may have lost them -However at age went out to play basketball again only to discover that the skills and -coordination of my teenage years were back My poor performance years prior had nothing -to do with losing brain circuits and everything to do with frailty Now instead of feeling like a -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -dry twig running down the court feel like a velociraptor My body supports me fully in any -position put it in It is the same with dancing People dont stop dancing in old age because -they forget how They stop because their joints are immobile and their unnecessarily feeble -bodies hurt Antirigidity is like an analgesic but a permanent one As many yogis insist You -are only as old as your spine Another way to put this is You are only as old as your spine is -frail and painful -Antirigidity Exercise Search Your Body for Rigidity -Use the illustrations of poses above along with the Antirigidity Protocol to guide you ina -fiveminute search for frailty in your body Once you find the muscular patterns that cause -joint cracking and create a feeling of achiness spend time within them using firm sustained -contractions Practice paced breathing during this session -In my s if got less than four hours of sleep my back would hurt all day However a -couple of years of antirigidity has made it so that even if miss an entire night of sleep feel -no joint discomfort because my spine still supports me can stand up straight for long periods -while everyone else succumbs to slouching can sit crosslegged on the floor for hours while -others languish on the couch The postural reinforcements that antirigidity created sometimes -make me feel like am in some kind of supportive harness or mechanical exosuit Antirigidity -makes it effortless to hold your body assertively proudly and energetically -The strength gains from antirigidity come with muscle mass gains They dont make you -look like a weightlifter but because they involve postural musculature they help you look more -like an athlete As the next chapter will detail antirigidity works complementarily with cardio -and weight training You will find that antirigidity will not only counteract the tension created -by your exercise routine but also that you can employ antirigidity during exercise as well -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e The antirigidity technique is performed by searching for dormant muscles whose joints -crack or ache then rehabbing them To reach these dormant muscles the body must be -placed into unfamiliar positions -e Rehab is achieved by finding a postural configuration that cracks and then holding it for -five to seconds at a time It feels like a stretch but is a contraction that you want to -hold until the muscles involved reach fatigue -e It is well known in exercise science that firmly contracting a muscle before relaxing it -brings it to a deeper level of relaxation -e Usually contracting dormant tender muscles makes us breathe shallowly as if we were -being submerged in cold water The key to antirigidity is to pair the contraction of -dormant muscle with diaphragmatic breathing -e Antirigidity reduces the internal impedance within the contractile tissue resetting the -muscle to its biomechanically optimal orientation If you want peak performance you -need antirigidity -e Antirigidity releases foundational postural muscles from strain Some of these -muscles may have been lying dormant for decades This results in the reintegration of -dormant muscle with active muscle restoring strength endurance flexibility stability -and ideal posture -e Antirigidity will get your muscles firing again tone and balance your body reduce -fatigue and soreness and counteract the poor loading profiles of the modern lifestyle -e Fora muscle to be healthy it needs times during the day when it is pulled to full resting -length and other times when it is contracted to its smallest dimension Use antirigidity -daily to achieve this -e Experiment and play with the muscles you have neglected for so long and with time -you will experience an incredible lightness of being -e Muscles are like springs that are bent out of shape A muscle that has low tone and is -not firing properly is like a spring whose coil has become stretched out Such muscles -require antilaxity -e A muscle stuck in partial contraction is like a spring that is not at its resting length -relaxed or its shortest length contracted but stuck somewhere in the middle Such -muscles require antirigidity -Chapter Antirigidity Therapy Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue -Chapter Endnote -Gallegos A M Crean H F Pigeon W R Heffner K L Meditation and yoga for -posttraumatic stress disorder A metaanalytic review of randomized controlled trials Clinical -Psychology Review van der Kalk B A Stone L West J Rhodes A Emerson D -Suvak M Spinazzola J Yoga as an adjunctive treatment for posttraumatic stress -disorder A randomized controlled trial Journal of Clinical Psychiatry e -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -Excessive Exercise Without Antirigidity is Detrimental -Unsustainable workout habits played a large role in my stress Overly ambitious running and -heavy lifting were tightening my straitjacket was reaping ephemeral shortterm benefits such -as muscle gain and fat loss But the longterm costs of accumulating soft tissue injury were -significant For instance even though had developed some strength in my bench press if -altered the position of my shoulders slightly or turned my elbows or wrists a little the same -benchpressing motion was painful and incredibly frail When you put a great deal of tension -into an invariant configuration the other potential arrangements become extraordinarily -limited It is the same with running Aside from my habitual running pattern my body was -highly immobile -If you signed a contract to play a superhero in an upcoming blockbuster movie you would -engage in arduous weightlifting and strenuous cardiovascular exercise A few months of this -would tighten existing knots in your muscles but make you look incredibly fit A few years of -activity like this would produce copious dormant muscle shackling the spine In kinesiology -this is referred to as muscular pattern overload It would make you stronger in the shortterm -but much weaker in the longterm This is how exercised in my twenties sprinting and grueling -weights with no stretching massage or recognition of bracing Combined with chronic -panicked breathing zero postural awareness and lots of sitting it wrecked my foundation -The sad truth is that this should sound familiar to many people -The Cost of Lifting Heavy Weights -Lifting heavy weights was my defense mechanism for dealing with the male status hierarchy -thought that more muscle would free me from hierarchical worries but it became my prison -both figuratively and literally It wrecked my posture by pulling my shoulders forward and my -chin away from my chest am not alone in this Postural neglect excessive bracing and -inattention to hyperfatigued muscle accelerate agerelated postural decline in the majority of -people who lift weights Frankly weightlifters experience significant reductions in all planes of -spinal movement -As a teenager read books on lifting weights that proclaimed that to repetitions done -to complete muscle failure is the scientifically established way to achieve muscle growth This is -true on the order of months but without regular antirigidity to repetitions with the -heaviest weight you can bear is a recipe for dormant muscle It took me years to realize that -overzealous lifting came with hidden costs They creep up on you Lifting heavy weights at low -reps causes you to fall into faulty muscle recruitment patterns leading to strain and cramping -all over the body In my late twenties would wake up every morning in agonizing tension -After rising it would take at least minutes for the circulation in my chest and neck to -reestablish and abate the crushing pain -Most people wouldnt even have described me as muscular and yet my chest shoulders -neck and back were completely locked up from weightlifting had trigger points scar tissue -and chronic inflammation all along my shoulder girdle The tension of unchecked weightlifting -crept up my spine through my cervical vertebrae and into the attachments between my neck -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -and skull At this point it impinges on ones soul Like most people that lift weights avoided -frail muscles altogether In doing so we magnify the frailty -Underused Muscles Need Antilaxity and Overused Muscles Need Antirigidity -When loading to certain muscles is completely missing and these muscles sit adjacent to -muscles that are unnaturally overloaded you have injury and pain waiting to happen -Underused muscles are usually long and weak Overused muscles are short and tight -Underused muscles need to be exercised and toned Overused muscles need to be stretched -massaged and most importantly contracted through the dormant sections of their range -of motion -Bend down and feel your calf You likely have a lot of soft muscle surrounding a lump of -painful hard muscle The soft muscle is underused while the hard muscle is overused You -want the softest lumps to become harder and the hardest lumps to become softer To do so -increase the tone in the soft portions through exercise and antilaxity and decrease the tone of -the hard lumps using massage and antirigidity It is the same with your spine face voice and -as we will see in Chapter the muscles surrounding your genitals This will develop the calfs -ability to contract as one integrated unit through its full range -It helps to pull the toes up toward the knee dorsiflexion which will contract the muscles -in the front of the calf Hold this contraction and breathe deeply Next point your toes away -from your body plantar flexion using the muscles in the back of the calf Every day spend one -minute flexing the toes back toward the shin and then pointing the toes in the opposite -direction While in both positions offset the feet to the left and then to the right Roll your -ankles clockwise and counterclockwise Search for the areas that feel stiff and achy If you can -find this aching know that contracting into it calmly is accomplishing bona fide antirigidity -Ilustration A The typical range of motion in the ankle is thirty degrees However limiting yourself to this -range contributes to the development of dormant ankle musculature B Exercising the ankle in an extended range -will expand the mobility and contribute to healthy ankle joint mechanics -At first start these ankle exercises without any weight even body weight Just hold the -contractions off the ground Then experiment with partial body weight Then use full -bodyweight calf raises where you try to reach full height during the rise and complete -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -dorsiflexion during the lowering phase Hold these and breathe Doing this with the ankles and -knees in a variety of positions will allow you to target and tone the underused aspects of your -calves Try new positions like turning the feet out lateral rotation or in medial rotation -and placing weight on the inside of the foot pronation or the outside of the foot supination -Ilustration A Holding the lowered phase of a bodyweight squat to strengthen complete ankle dorsiflexion -ankle bent B Holding the full height of a calf raise to strengthen complete plantar flexion ankle straightened -Have you heard of cankles It is a pejorative term referring to the combination of calf -and ankle describing an ankle that appears continuous with the calf They are the unattractive -consequence of chronically overused ankle muscles In other words a cankle is just an ankle -whose muscles are stuck in partial contraction Cankles are ugly because bulky hypertrophic -muscle in isolated areas leads to swelling edema and inflammation The cankles phenomenon -isnt limited to the ankles Persistent contractions make the whole body look worse for the -same reasons Most people who dont like their physiques are simply unhappy with the -appearance of their bodys dormant muscles You want to tone and firm your soft muscles -without any underlying musculature being hard and hypertonic Its a balancing act -Performing calf raises in the gym with heavy weights turned sections of my calves into very -hard muscle segments This extra muscle was useful for calf raises but otherwise made walking -painful In my late twenties my ankles calves and knees would hurt after just minutes of -walking Percussive massage and antirigidity have made it so that can walk for more than -three hours without any discomfort They also turned my cankles into lean trim ankles and put -a new spring in my step There are very tangible benefits to replacing our highintensity -lowvariety repetitious exercises with exercises that use the body more diversely -Dormant Muscles Expose You to Injury -Tight and shortened muscles dominate movement at the joint disrupting healthy joint -mechanics Some researchers call this joint compression not to be confused with the -massage technique It causes major physical limitations for both athletes and the general -population force leaks torque loss and gaps in strength Shortened and dormant muscle is -responsible for why advanced weightlifters fail at entrylevel plyometric workout exercises like -box jumping The muscles of many bodybuilders have limited range and tend to fatigue -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -quickly This is why you dont see them competing in highlevel athletics events which demand -agility flexibility or endurance Activities that require both speed and strength are often -painful for weightlifters The abrupt forces can even cause cramped hypertonic muscles to tear -or rip -Dormant muscle and their attachments are highly susceptible to tearing Sprains tearing -of a ligament and strains tearing of a muscle or tendon are the most common types of soft -tissue sports injuries They are often caused by activities that require muscles to stretch and -contract suddenly at the same time A lack of conditioning flexibility and warmup can -contribute but usually a strain is a previously existing site of dormancy just waiting to -be injured -When you develop a kink in your neck lower back or anywhere else it is seldom a new -development It is practically always preexisting dormant muscle that has recently been -agitated Usually kinks are previously locked up muscles that have started to unlock -Unfortunately immobilizing them until they stop hurting which most people do will cause -them to relock Worse yet trying to move them while breathing shallowly will cause them to -close up tighter But diaphragmatic antirigidity will allow you to open and repair these kinks -The next time you pull or strain a muscle be grateful that a site of frailty has been revealed and -is now open to rehab -sprained my shoulder wrestling a friend This was ironic because lifted heavy weights in -hopes of appearing physically powerful But when it came down to grappling with someone -my uneven tone led to disparities between muscles that could be loaded and those that -couldnt There were muscles along my scapula that couldnt bear even a moderate load and -trying to squeeze out of a stranglehold headlock sprained them badly learned that it is far -preferable to have regular strength throughout the body and little frailty than to have excessive -strength in certain areas and extreme frailty in others -Treating an Injury -Never stretch or use antirigidity for the first hours after an injury You want to give the -muscle tears a chance to heal first This means that any time you strain or even tweak -something just go home and rest Dont risk aggravating it by continuing to exercise or -compete Soft massage after icing can be beneficial directly following a minor injury Three days -later it is important to begin proactively compressing and stretching the muscles to stop scar -tissue formation In fact many medical professionals take untreated scar tissue to be the -primary cause of reinjury believe that after a week it is safe to start rehabilitating light to -moderate strains using antirigidity -Physical therapists often recommend that patients breathe into their injuries If you -sprain your wrist they might advise that you concentrate on deep breathing and the sensations -coming from the wrist simultaneously In yoga and Pilates instructors recommend breathing -deeply when stretching sore injured or tight muscles Breathing into tension teaches the -brain that it can interact with these muscles without recruiting the fight or flight response -This is why recommend taking out your breathing metronome whenever you rehab an injury -even recommend paced breathing as soon as you sustain an injury to reduce the -unnecessary bracing that comes with something like a sprain Immediately after an injury -people naturally breathe very shallowly and this causes the surrounding muscles to tense up -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -potentially exacerbating the extent of the tissue damage Breathing with the diaphragm and -concentrating on progressive relaxation at the injury site can improve the prognosis and -decrease recovery time Just be aware that paced breathing will diminish the bodys protective -casting and immobilizing of the injured area Accordingly you must be very careful not to -subject this area to any undue loads for the first few days -sprained my shoulder in a fall from a skateboard Of course it was the lockedup bench -press stabilizing muscles that were injured Because of the shoulder injury had to stop lifting -weights completely My upper body muscle mass atrophied very quickly lost almost all my -bulk within two months However and here is the kicker the pain knots and scar tissue -remained as if had never stopped working out This proved to me that lifting heavy weights -has benefits that are easily lost while the costs persist Without incessant weightlifting you -lose the mass but still retain all the cellular scarring felt compelled to get this tension from -weightlifting out of my body so developed an alternate way to lift weights -Lift Weights with Optimal Posture -Most people lift heavy weights from a compact position The more you do this the more -ungainly your posture becomes and the more difficult it is to lift from an expansive posture -By exercising with bad postural alignment you will degrade the structures you are trying to -improve When your vertebrae are out of alignment and you strain under heavy weights you -further reinforce the misalignments Like trying to erect a massive building on a poor -foundation it will be lopsided and unstable Thus when your form breaks down make that -your last rep With open expansive properly aligned posture any type of exercise you practice -will be more effective -When most people lift weights that are too heavy they brace and lock up their entire -skeleton holding their spine shoulder girdle and hips in the same invariant position each time -Merely reducing the weight allows you to lift without bracing With less weight you can also -alter and vary your posture with each rep and change the distribution of weight loading -stimulating growth in areas that are usually stiff -Most exercisers perform narrow range repetitions where the muscle lengthens and -contracts only a small amount each repetition This is a surefire way to force muscles into -partial contraction For example my friend does limited range of motion squats with extremely -heavy weight This means that instead of going from standing to touching his butt to his ankles -he instead only moves a few inches during each squat Doing this with stacks of weight plates -has given him huge knots above his knees These knots form a buffer for his end range squat -helping him stop the squat halfway down and reverse the motion But the same knots that help -him come back up in that single exercise limit the general action of his quadriceps in almost all -other activities -have since helped him get rid of these knots by using full range motion massage and -antirigidity You can see that this is much like the above example involving my calves Do you -do anything similar to this If you dont want the knots lower the weight and increase the -range of motion You may have guessed by now that cant avoid making a related comparison -with animals -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Strength Differences Between Humans and Other Apes -Although chimpanzees are generally lighter than humans they range between and -pounds they are much stronger on average The shaved arms of a female chimp look like a -professional football players arms In captivity chimps are aware of their strength advantage -and are very dangerous because of it They often physically bulldoze humans In the wild they -dont know that they are stronger and can be studied safely at closer quarters Indeed many -scientists think chimps can overpower even the strongest humans long wondered how at only -pounds they could be stronger than bodybuilders believe their disproportionate -strength comes from the way they build their muscles incrementally from all angles -Apes amass upper body strength gradually from a young age tree climbing and knuckle -walking which they do with their arms and legs Using each limb vigorously is an intrinsic part -of getting around They incorporate their entire physique into each smooth integrated -movement rather than wrenching isolated muscles with dumbbells or barbells Since apes build -their muscles naturally rather than lifting heavy weights trigger points and dormant muscles -rarely encumber their movement If we want to become truly strong we have to build strength -incrementally like a chimpanzee Now you and cannot start our childhood over in the trees -But we can start by infusing lightweight exercises with antirigidity -Practice Antirigidity During Exercise -Just as you can combine antirigidity techniques and yoga you can also combine antirigidity -with other workouts including weight training By and large people avoid their trigger points -and areas of frailty when exercising Resist this temptation You want to work out your short -painful muscles tailoring exercises to target these sites specifically To do this exercise slowly -using only light resistance to search for and contract into dormant muscle Alter your joint -configurations until you find a combination that aches or cracks then hold this pattern and -continue to perform repetitions If you dont let the discomfort disturb your breathing pattern -the muscle will surrender and cooperate -want to encourage you to go to your local gym sit on practically every machine on the -floor use a very low weight setting and do between and repetitions trying to work -through the subtle aching and cracking Think of each station in the weight room as a tool you -can use to employ antirigidity from a different angle -Weightlifting Exercise Antilaxity and Antirigidity with Weights -Perform standard weightlifting routines with machines or free weights but do so using very -light weight Employ antilaxity to accustom your body to healthy forces and employ anti -rigidity to bring blood to and mend dormant muscle Maintain proper posture and use -multidirectional movements with complete range of motion Add novel curvature to the -spine every few repetitions Vary between kyphosis and lordosis in your neck and upper -spine for upper body exercises Then vary between these in the lower back for lower body -exercises Use spinal flexion then spinal extension for maximal effect Bend to each side -twist to each side Search actively for aching positions to engage -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -IMlustration Suggestions for different joint configurations for antirigidity during light weight bench press -Do a few reps with your neck flexed to each side then with your chin to your chest -with your neck retracted and then with your neck extended backwards It should feel like yoga -with gym equipment Any exercise expert would try to persuade you from turning your neck to -the extreme left when performing a lateral pull down or from adducting your hip and tilting -your pelvis when performing a leg press They would be right if you were lifting between -and of your onerepetition maximum But if you are lifting less than of your max -you should have plenty of room to play with the joint configurations safely -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Examples of different joint configurations for spinal antirigidity during light weight -lateral pulldowns -One important caveat am asking you to vary your spines position as you work out -but only at low intensity and low resistance At high intensity you want to keep your spine -straight This is common knowledge in exercise science Many athletes refer to any bend in any -portion of the spine as a fault or error Indeed you commit a fault any time your spine changes -shape during any weightbearing movement When you lift something heavy off the ground -perform a squat or a pushup your spine should stay neutral the entire time In other words -we should regularly be flexing and extending as many portions of the back as possible -but never when combined with a heavy load or rapid movements -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -Ilustration Examples of different joint configurations for antirigidity during light weight tricep push downs -find using antilaxity and antifrailty with weights to be tremendously relaxing Much like yoga -the blood flow and endorphins make my muscles feel heavy and tranquil This is a from my -previous approach to working out -Exercise More Often Not Harder -When mixing antirigidity with weightlifting the objective is to gradually increase the load over -the course of months as your posture improves and your frailty diminishes Slowly building up -to heavier weights and intensities will help you build a broad stable base to place even more -muscle on top of This is in line with the oftenforgotten personal trainers maxim straighten -the body before strengthening it -The common wisdom in personal training which empirical studies have reinforced is that -muscle typically atrophies at half the rate it took to develop This means that your gains from six -months of squats will completely disappear a year after you stop squatting To me the takeaway -message is clear If you gain a lot of muscle from intense training over three months you cannot -expect to keep it for long So dont plan to work out this way But if you gain muscle steadily over -three years it will resist atrophy for six years Instead of stressing the body plateauing early -and struggling to maintain envision your workout goal as a slow and steady climb -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -This is consistent with a popular weight training routine known as pyramid training -where you start with very light weights and progress steadily toward heavier weights You will -find that starting lower than bodyweight then using bodyweight and then progressing through -very light weights will condition your postural muscles with exercise volume as opposed to -intensity For many exercises even bodyweight is too much In my opinion less than of the -population is ready for pushups Ninetyfive percent of people will accrue unnecessary damage -from pushups myself included Instead they need to spend a few months doing pushups on -their knees or simply lowering themselves to the ground from pushup position working the -negative -CPOE -Illustration Pushup progression A Pushups on the shins and knees B Pushups on the knees -C Lowered pushups and finally traditional pushups -Global bodily adaptations to low weights will scaffold a highly balanced system that you -can later apply toward heavier weights to achieve surprising results This takes advantage of the -aforementioned SAID principle specific adaptation to imposed demands Again this is how -apes farmers mechanics and lumberjacks develop strength But this doesnt just apply to -lifting weights The same goes for jogging swimming aerobics Program Peace exercises and -anything else Dont base your exercise duration or intensity on arbitrary factors Instead work -out from within your frailty until none of your postural muscles are hypertonic and they all -cooperate seamlessly Then resume traditional fullbody workouts -Starting with lowintensity and focusing on antirigidity has another benefit Recall from -Chapter that dormant muscles cannot recover adequately after a workout They are resistant -to growth and strengthening because muscles afflicted with trigger points never rest and can -never fully heal Thus dormant muscles are equivalent to untapped reservoirs that are full of -growth potential Antirigidity allows you to tap into them Once you convert dormant muscle -to supple and tensionfree muscle they will be very responsive to exercise From there you will -be ripe for a total body transformation -In my twenties would visit a nutritional supplement store The clerks would always tell -me look man if you want to gain muscle you have to take weight gainer For a long time -believed they were right and that needed protein supplementation and hundreds of -additional calories every day to put on muscle mass This isnt true The real constraint that -keeps you from putting on additional muscle is the muscle tension It is dormant muscle that is -responsible for the performance plateaus and diminishing returns Once you use antilaxity and -antirigidity to rebuild this muscle back into your posture you will find that it will not fluctuate -with exercise or diet Because it moves when you do and its tone is reinforced by simply -standing around it resists atrophy and does not require overeating -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -Practice Antirigidity Following Exercise -After almost all forms of conventional exercise dormant muscle becomes further strained -After a jog you go home and your knees hurt a little or your lower back feels stiff and this -accrues with interest over time It doesnt have to be this way Engaging these areas with anti -rigidity exercises directly after a workout is the best way for you to release them It provides -fresh blood to the collateral and stabilizing muscles stiffened by the activity For every minute -of training you should perform a minute of antirigidity -After you do three sets of bench press do minutes of antirigidity for the neck shoulders -and upper back A yoga pose like downward dog is excellent Whatever you choose shift your -shoulders as you alternate between twisting flexing and extending the neck Youll discover -that the increased circulation from a weight lifting or a cardio workout will allow you to -contract more deeply into dormant muscle -You can also use the antirigidity and yoga positions pictured in the previous chapter as -counter poses Counter poses are used in yoga to activate complementary and antagonistic -muscles after a pose For instance a twist to the left follows a twist to the right and forward -bends usually follow backbends According to yoga practitioners this neutralizes the spine -lengthening it and calming the nervous system With practice you can identify the best -counterposes to neutralize the tension created by your exercise routine -How to Breathe When Lifting Light Weights -Why are some people strong while others are weak Why are some people muscular while -others are not Most scientists would say that testosterone exposure and genetics determine -these characteristics but believe these explanations are secondary to a more primary process -This process involves the ability to contract muscles without recruiting the distressed breathing -response Naturally athletic and muscular people had childhoods conducive to combining -exercise with unimpeded breathing In other words adults with big biceps were kids that -learned to sustain hardy bicep contractions without impeding their breathing But you dont -have to be a kid to internalize this The truth is we worked on this in Exercises when -we combined paced breathing with antilaxity -In the same vein you want to breathe very deeply while pumping iron Most physical -therapists and personal trainers recommend breathing out when major muscles are shortening -the lifting action in a curl and breathing in during the lengthening the lowering action of the -curl For a bench press this would involve breathing out while lifting the bar away from your -chest and breathing in while dropping the weight to your chest This is not bad advice as it -keeps you from holding your breath or breathing at even shorter intervals However -when using low weight it is beneficial to breathe at even longer intervals -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Breathing Activity Diaphragmatic Breathing at the Gym -The next time you lift light weights start off breathing out for an entire repetition flexion -and extension and then in for the next repetition Perform a few sets in this way Next -inhale for two reps and then exhale for two reps This is an advanced technique but will -become much easier as you complete the breathing retraining outlined in Chapters and -As long as you are breathing deep complete breaths you should get plenty of air Breathing -at longer intervals convinces your nervous system that weightlifting is not traumatic allowing -your body to adapt to the challenge rather than resisting it Deep breathing convinces the -body that holding those pound dumbbells in the air is safe easy and the new normal -Lifting heavy weights is stressful on the body and mind and anything stressful will provoke -shallow breathing The physical exertion involved in lifting heavy weights makes it very difficult -to concentrate on breathing diaphragmatically Lifting definitely contributed to my breathing -dysfunction A high proportion of weightlifters breathe shallowly and like racehorses are often -highstrung They are doing the opposite of the Program Peace method pairing intense -muscular contractions with distressed breathing and further traumatizing them Also keep in -mind that the anxiety involved in this puts you into a state of catabolism where proteins are -broken down rather than built up ultimately making it harder to put on and keep on muscle -As you found with your eating routine in Chapter your exercise routines may be tightly -intertwined with distressed breathing You may even find it difficult to exert yourself while -breathing diaphragmatically However it will be much easier at the lowest levels of exertion -so start there You can use a breath metronome when exercising or you may just want to tape -your mouth -As you work on your breathing be aware of your other nonverbals The stereotypical -weightlifters body language is highly detrimental to their health Gasping hyperventilating -jerking straining breathholding trembling and bracing the entire body are the exact things -you want to avoid Most people also tighten their vocal tract raise their eyebrows make a -pained face sneer and squint during heavy exercise For all the reasons described in previous -chapters try to avoid doing these things The only muscles that should be working are the ones -responsible for the load Rather than being a spaz at the gym try being poised and laidback -Weight Lifting Exercise Breath Metronome at the Gym -Use headphones and a breathing metronome to perform paced breathing at your gym while -lifting light weights and employing antirigidity Set the breathing duration to a low level -eg second inhalations and second exhalations Dont use a breath metronome -while performing heavy resistance or aerobic exercise though In these cases let your -instincts guide your breath rate and just try to breathe deeply and nasally see breathing -Exercise from Chapter -Using the breath metronome at the gym has another empowering benefit By the second -week of paced breathing you will be at peace with rather than apprehensive of the muscular -and athletic people lifting weights next to you You will realize that you were previously stifling -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -your breath to appease the other gym members in psychoneurotic ways In my twenties felt -like every person in the gym thought they were cooler than me Paced breathing at the athletic -facility changed this completely By using a breath metronome to calm your thoughts you will -completely escape gymtimidation While youre at it try incorporating other subroutines -discussed in this book such as resting face looking above the eyeline and the tenets of optimal -posture Paced breathing will help you become the most composed gymgoer at your facility -within a matter of weeks -People also often hold their breath during short but intense athletic performances like a -golf swing free throw or cartwheel Instead take a deep slow breath before the feat and -breathe out calmly during the feat As you perform that high jump penalty kick sommersault -or basketball dunk you want to be breathing and to nurture the execution it helps to be -breathing out Breathing shallowly or holding the breath tells the body hopefully this is the -last time we will ever have to do this Breathing deeply tells the body this is something that -we are going to be doing regularly now so you better get good at it -Anything practiced repeatedly is debraced overtime especially if you do it while breathing -diaphragmatically A gymnast will have a gorgeous standing backflip if they have done it -hundreds of times while breathing calmly The best backflips come from people that dont have -to activate their sympathetic system to pull it off My cartwheel is still tense but the more -practice it while exhaling smoothly through the nose the more learn which aspects of the -motion are overbraced In movement patterns from layups to backhands to football lobs to -jumping jacks to burpees dont aim for breathless intensity Aim for braceless efficiency -A person new to jumping rope will grab the handles too tightly brace their spine -inordinately look awkward and develop an injury if they jump too long A person who has -spent over cumulative hours jumping rope looks and feels like they are skipping on air Give -your exercise activities plenty of time to stabilize under diaphragmatic conditions and they will -become graceful childs play -Focus on Dissipating the Tension -During an exercise session tension steadily accumulates in muscles Some become reset to a -harmfully high level resulting in an elevation in passive contraction This is why you want to use -diaphragmatic breathing to dissipate tension right after you exercise If you are going to -exercise until you feel the burn then focus on the burn fully subsiding after the set Lie down -if it helps -Weightlifting Activity Noticing Muscle Tension after a Set -Simply by paying attention to the mounting tension after you complete a set you can -consciously negate it thereby enhancing recovery healing and muscle gain When you -ignore it it usually remains contracted You may feel the muscles twitch or spasm notice -these small intrusions Because these twitches are uncomfortable they halt breathing -maintaining the tension in the area Instead you want to concentrate on relaxing the tension -and breathing through it until it subsides Your focus should be on being completely limp -between sets -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -used to have disturbing elbow pain from lifting heavy weights It was tennis elbow -a degenerative condition also known as epicondylitis Conditions like it have a poor prognosis -and no modern medical treatments besides rest pain relievers and surgery Many of these -types of surgeries have been shown to be no better than a placebo mock surgery used to -finish resistance exercises in an extremely agitated state Then would spend the rest of the -day and go to bed in that state wondered why my elbows hurt so much in the morning and -naively attributed it to aging Most medical doctors refer to such examples of acute tension as -disease because they become chronic in so many people This disease is easily remedied -Now whether resistance training swimming running or anything else stop completely -every few minutes take a full seconds to bestow the tightness the mental attention it -needs to subside When get home squeeze compress and percuss any muscles that hurt -thought was going to have tennis elbow for the rest of my life After less than total -minutes of elbow tension awareness and additional minutes of compression and percussion -as outlined in Chapter the elbow disease has disappeared and never resurfaced This -method has worked for me for dozens of similar issues in the last few years That is how -powerful these simple solutions are -Rest Once the First Muscle Group Reaches Fatigue -When people lift heavy weights some of their large muscle groups are prepared to deal with -the weight but other muscles are far too weak The muscles that are not up to the task are -usually those used to stabilize the weight The stabilizing muscles such as the scapular muscles -during bench press dont move or rest between repetitions Some muscles dont even rest in -between sets Between each repetition you want there to be moments where every muscle is -given a microbreak As we learned in Chapter this break permits the muscles to escape -partial contraction rest and regenerate so that they can resume proper function -Because stabilizing muscles stay still at full exertion during the exercise they learn to do -so all the time This drives the muscle into deep fatigue freezing it in place This is highly -damaging It stops the muscle from growing and it is why some weightlifters appear so -encumbered when they move Stabilizing muscles keep parts of the body steady so that the -primary muscles can do their job But in a different exercise a stabilizing muscle may need to -be used as a primary muscle If it is rigid then performing that exercise correctly is impossible -When stabilizers are dormant your motion comes across as robotic stilted and effortful -Bench pressing pounds may be great for your pectorals and triceps but may be brutal -to your rotator cuff In this case you should lower the weight until the exercise is optimal for -strengthening the rotator cuff Many exercises are just right for some muscles but way too hard -on others and you owe it to yourself to fall back to the level of the weakest link Once the first -muscle group has fatigued it is important to stop what you are doing and wait for it to return -to its baseline -Avoid Overexertion -Large increases or changes in exercise activity can cause tendonitis tendonosis and delayed -onset muscle soreness You can easily avoid this through more gradual transitions in an exercise -regimen But few people actually do this Instead most change their routine abruptly Or they -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -exercise infrequently but overexert themselves when they do Soreness and tendonitis are -conducive to the creation of dormant muscle so avoid them by increasing your training more -gradually Four days of recovery is recommended for individual muscle groups after heavy -training However that doesnt mean you should leave the muscles alone entirely -recommend you replicate the activity that made it sore to get the blood circulating and to -facilitate remodeling Just do so with less intensity and for only a fraction of the time so as not -to impede the healing process -The muscles that feel sore the day after a workout are usually the dormant ones and thus -the ones most in need of massage and antirigidity Use any hints of soreness after a workout to -help you locate your dormant muscle so you can treat it If you wake up sore recommend -taking a baseball knuckle or knuckle tool and percussing the entire body focusing on the -tender areas If you are going to work so hard that you are sore the next day you must rehab -the sore spots Working out until youre sore and then letting the muscles stagnate for days -until the soreness disappears is irresponsible This tells us that our modus operandi should be -exercise massage antirigidity repeat -Dont kill yourself when working out and dont be a weekend warrior Training to complete -exhaustion is training under duress If you are forcing yourself you cannot go into flow and -cannot enjoy the process Training should be addictive but it cant be if you push yourself into -anxiety just to get it done In the long run extreme exertion only wears you down lowers your -mood and leads to injury It is exacting to generate the mental energy to train strenuously but -you should find it easy to generate the mental energy to train moderately -Take a rest after laborious exercise When you come home from the gym dont go right to -cooking dinner and cleaning up You want to reset the tension you created so lie down in -corpse pose for five to minutes while paced breathing and practice progressive muscle -relaxation see Unbracing Exercises and Notice pockets of tension while you are lying -down and attempt to let them go -Often the exercise activity is blamed as the cause of the pain but in many cases the pain is -produced by neglecting to stretch massage and relax after exercise The same goes for those -days when you didnt exercise but engaged in prolonged sitting standing or walking When you -finally get home and collapse feeling stiff and achy youve pushed your tissues too far without -microbreaks or counterposes Proper use of the techniques in the last two chapters can make -the difference between a day that will make you stronger and a day that will make you weaker -Conclusion -The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places Ernest Hemingway -When my posture was at its worst lifting weights was so uncomfortable that reached a point -where just couldnt do it anymore badly wanted to build muscle but the pain and frailty -made it so that would just hold the weight in my hand and look at it Like a brokendown plow -horse just stood there and couldnt muster the will to take on the burden had few acute -injuries but was covered in chronic injury took two years off from intense exercise and -instead focused on antirigidity range of motion flexibility low resistance and low impact -The same weightlifting exercises that were drudgery for me now find exhilarating -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Here is a list summarizing the primary elements of the Program Peace muscle -rehabilitation method -The Elements of the Muscle Rehabilitation Method -Search for and contract into achiness -Find configurations that crack and bring them to a gentle fatigue -Combine antirigidity and antilaxity with yoga and light weightlifting -Rest limply once fatigue is reached -Be aware of bracing -Use optimal posture -Regularly refresh stagnant muscles using full range of motion -Reposition intermittently to avoid staleness -Use effective counterposes -Massage regularly with compression and percussion -Breathe properly all the while -like the saying pain is weakness leaving the body But it is a halftruth If the pain is -derived from straining it is weakness entering the body If the pain is derived from the ache of -gently transforming dormant muscle into optimal muscle it truly is weakness leaving the body -Chapter Combine Antirigidity with Exercise -Chapter Bullet Points -e Underused muscles need antilaxity and overused muscles need antirigidity -e Dormant muscle tears easily leading to injury -e Perform antirigidity while you perform yoga or while you lift light weights so that you -can get leverage into dormant muscle -e Cardio and weightlifting increase circulation and thereby make subsequent antirigidity -more productive -e Employing antirigidity with exercise releases muscles from deep strain reduces fatigue -and restores strength and endurance -When exercising dont put all your intensity into an invariant form Alter your form -using as many configurations as possible This creates multidimensional strength -e Progress from body weight and very low weight toward heavier weights -e Rest once the first muscle group reaches fatigue -e Focus on debracing and dissipating tension after a set or workout -e It is highly beneficial to perform antirigidity and massage on any muscles that are sore -the day after a workout -e Always exercise using the tenets of optimal posture -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Starrett K Cordoza G Becoming a supple leopard The ultimate guide to -resolving pain preventing injury and optimizing athletic performance Victory Belt Publishing -Starret Cordoza Becoming a supple leopard -Simons D G Travell J G Simons L S Travel Simons myofacial pain -and dysfunction Upper half of body Williams and Wilkins -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck -and Shoulders -We are all hunchbacks to different degrees Our upper spines are contorted from the strain -involved in carrying the head in front of the body This protruding head posture bends the -lower neck forward and the upper neck backward creating an S shape Over time this results -in anterior head syndrome marked by a bulge in the lower neck that is sometimes called a -dowagers hump or a buffalo hump This is also commonly called nerd neck Before knew -anything about this found my hump very concerning -During my s became preoccupied with the deformed structure of my neck could tell -that my neck was hunched down in pictures and when reached back and felt my cervical -spine could feel the distorted curvature The muscles in my neck were hard to the touch due -to advanced stage trigger points throughout Moving my neck hurt its movement was very -limited and it would tire quickly had the necessary symptoms for a diagnosis of cervical -neuromuscular syndrome which includes chronic neck pain headaches sympathetic -upregulation depression and anxiety Thats right a tense neck contributes to anxiety -Studies show that it may also contribute to general fatigue muscle strain arthritis herniated -discs pinched nerves and higher overall mortality -would ask my girlfriend to stand on my upper back hoping that the pressure would crack -my vertebrae into proper alignment Of course this didnt work At one point it crossed my -mind that the extreme curvature in my neck was due to the cumulative effects of repetitive -strain quickly dismissed this notion because realized how difficult it would be to fix if this -was the problem Sadly it was wanted a quick fix but there wasnt and isnt one -Straightening my neck required years of proper breathing unbracing massage postural -awareness exercise and antirigidity -The lower cervical vertebrae C and C bulged out prominently while the vertebrae above -them were shrunken in It took a year of antirigidity training for C and C to come into -alignment with C and C Another year passed before C and C joined them Gradually -these vertebrae migrated back into place until the bulges and hump went away Now my neck -has a healthy curvature and all my previous symptoms are gone This transformation begins -with something called neck retraction -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -i -G -Upper Neck -Bent Backward -Lower Neck -Bent Forward -Illustration A Neck protracted with the chin poking forward B Skeleton with cervical vertebrae visible -C Neck retracted with the chin tucked -Neck Retraction Is Tucking the Jaw into the Neck -Crookedness in the neck derives from bringing our head forward tilting the chin up and -compressing or scrunching the top of the back of the neck This is called neck protraction Lets -program ourselves to do the opposite neck retraction We saw neck retraction in Chapter as -the fifth principle of optimal posture Lets dive deeper -Neck Exercise Neck Retraction -The first step is to pull your chin and jaw backward as if you were trying to pull them into -your throat As you keep your chin tucked lean your head backward relative to your chest -until your ears are pulled back behind the chest in line with the center of your shoulder Roll -your shoulders back and down while looking straight ahead Adopting this position while -doing different activities from different loading positions will help you internalize it For -instance try nodding yes shaking no or bobbing your head to music with the neck retracted -Another method to achieve this posture is to grab a clump of your hair at the base of the -back of your skull and gently pull it up and back Alternatively Pilates practitioners imagine a -string from the heavens attached to the back of their skull constantly pulling their heads -upward Think about holding a calm prolonged contraction in the muscles involved Spend -five minutes holding this posture and performing antirigidity within it while breathing -diaphragmatically -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders -Ilustration Various neck positions for antirigidity -Most people exercise socialize and sit with their necks exclusively protracted -Combined with the stress and strain of daily life this firmly fixes the neck in a forward slumped -posture Untucking the chin while lifting weights or working at a desk further solidifies this -degenerative cervical position When most people then try to retract their necks it feels sticky -achy and scary Almost everyone butts up against a firm wall of dormant muscle in the back of -their neck when they retract it This wall of dormancy is the hump itself You will need to use -antirigidity to chip away at the muscular adhesions responsible for this cramped obstruction -Stop Untucking Your Chin -The dowagers hump arises from the selfhandicapping act of untucking the chin and -protracting the neck This act of jutting the chin out in front of the body declares give up to -anyone watching In my twenties would always untuck my chin whenever passed by anyone -It appears polite and disarming to others but is poisonous to you This social signal innate to -our biology is throwing in the towel Most people untuck their necks whenever they are -nervous and especially during startle They might as well be placing their head on a chopping -block If anything you want to retract your neck when startled as this protects your neck with -your jaw -held my head as if were scared that would bump it against something if stood up -straight held it as if were using my neck to appease angry giants held it as if were trying to -tell the world that the pith of my body the musculature that supports the head exists in a -deeply defective position The extent of your hunchback is a function of how often you untuck -your chin Everyone is aware of this implicitly but almost no one speaks of it or does anything -about it Now that you are explicitly aware use chin retraction to increase your nonverbal -dominance Again the more often you fake it the more natural you make it -Making Neck Retraction Habitual -Some people refrain from retracting their neck because it results in a double chin -Paradoxically not using the muscles responsible for retraction increases the flabbiness in this -area So retracting your neck often will eventually make that double chin disappear The chin -lock from Exercise as well as compression exercises and for the jawline and -jowls will help greatly in training neck retraction Combining these exercises will excise the -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -pudginess behind your chin straighten the back of your neck increase the extent of ujjayi -breathing and enrich your voice One of the main causes of weakened voice is postural -When the neck is not retracted the laryngeal musculature loses proper tone -Neck retraction will also make your head lighter The more the head protrudes in front of -the body the more stress is placed on the cervical spine Straight up and down the head -produces about pounds of pressure on the neck When the head is tilted toward the floor at -degrees this becomes pounds and at degrees it is pounds Thus neck retraction -can lighten the weight of the head by as much as five times This is enough to turn an -overbearing continuous strain into a healthy continuous load -Neck extension can be a great counterpose to neck retraction To do this you bend the -head backward -Neck Exercise Neck Extension to Retraction -Extend your neck This means bending it backward lifting your chin and tilting your head -back as if looking up at the sky Breathe out for several seconds in this position For the -inhale flex your neck back into retraction and breathe in for several seconds Repeat this -fifteen times It can help to use the arms like the model in the pictures below Repeat the -cycle to times -When your head is extended backward practice turningrotating your upper and lower neck -to the right and left Also practice both neck retraction and protraction from the extended -position Neck retraction from an extended position will reach deeply into the hump in your -neck and provide an opportunity for antirigidity -Illustration Alternating between neck extension and neck retraction -An exercise that alternates between neck retraction and extension is often first in a series -of hot yoga poses It is sometimes called standing deep breathing because it is traditionally -done simultaneously with a form of paced breathing My initial experiences with this yoga -routine strongly influenced the Program Peace method because they made it incredibly clear -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders -how effective paced breathing is in the healing process firmly recommend these poses as a -daily practice You can easily find videos online Now for some other exercises that used daily -will remodel your neck -Neck Exercise Neck Extension and Rotation -Lie on your back on the floor Lift the head an inch off the ground and turn the head from -side to side As you do this either touch your chin to each shoulder or touch each ear to the -ground Repeat times or until you reach fatigue You can do this with the neck -retracted or protracted flexed or extended -Mgr -fo Da Se -When socialized in my twenties must have been bracing and immobilizing practically -every muscle in my neck Looking back on it now my neck was like an ankle that had been -sprained over and over but never iced massaged stretched or exercised More than anything -else exercises and have brought it close to optimality The following lists other -helpful routines you can use to limber your neck right up -Neck Exercises Various Neck Antirigidity Postures -Like all the exercises in this chapter these are intended to be combined with diaphragmatic -breathing and the antirigidity technique Use the different positions described here to find -and rehab dormant achy muscle -Lie on your back on the floor with your head on the ground Lift the chin to the center -of your chest sternum and then lower it back to the floor Repeat times or -until fatigued To make this harder each time you lower your head look to either the -right or the left -Lie on your stomach on the floor Lift the head off the ground and rotate it from right -to left touching your right ear to the ground then your left Repeat times -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Hang your head and neck off the edge of the bed while lying on your back Tilt your -head as far back as it will go and look at the floor Then turn your head from side to -side to times Enjoy the stretch as you hang and sway -Swiss -While standing look straight ahead Retract your neck then bend you neck to the -side so that your right ear approaches your right shoulder Hold for seconds then -bend the left ear toward the left shoulder Repeat times -fe a -a -Le -While standing retract your neck and rotate your head to the right as far as it will go -Hold for seconds then rotate to the left Repeat times Do this again with the -neck protracted -rift -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders -Bend your head forward as far as it will go to look at the ground With the neck in -total flexion gently retract the neck from this position for five seconds then protract -it for five Rest focusing on the ache For additional pressure interlock your fingers -behind your head allowing the weight to gently pull your neck further downward -anahal -Place a towel around your neck like a scarf to provide support Roll your head in a -large circle Do this times Be sure to alternate directions Perform this slowly -allowing the neck to hang as much as possible while rotating This will mobilize the -muscles at the bottom of the neck to execute the rotations -Draw a circle in front of your face with your nose Doing so will utilize the muscles at -the top of the neck to execute the rotation Do this times As you alternate -directions of the circle try varying its size You might try drawing triangles or squares -AAA -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Lie on your back on a group of pillows or a large stability ball The goal is to create a -global backward curve in your spine Let your entire neck relax extending your head -completely back While remaining on the ball cradle your head in your hands and pull -your chin up to your chest and hold it there Now retract it actively Stretch into the -aching sensation there between your neck and your shoulder blades -SERIES -Lie on your back and cradle your neck with your hands Perform tiny situps or -crunches that only lift your neck and shoulders off the ground Focus on kyphosis in -your necka full forward arch Use the muscles in your throat to perform these -modified situps The muscles in the back of your neck will stabilize the action -getting a great stretch in the process Try looking to either side while performing this -neck situp -Have you ever wondered why a collared shirt is an essential aspect of proper business -attire believe it is to obscure the extent of neck protraction so that neck posture does not -play a role in corporate politics The boss or manager may be the best person for a leadership -role but their lack of neck retraction might communicate to their underlings that they do not -have a lifetime history of leadership experience This could undermine their authority Also the -person with the straightest neck is not necessarily the most knowledgeable and thus should not -have undue influence on business matters You want your companys hierarchy based on -diligence and competence believe that like suit jackets with padded shoulders collars level -the playing field of physicality -believe that people who emerged from childhood with their neck mobility intact have a -more dominant physical presence The way their head is situated absolutely shines and its -natural motion is intimidatingly smooth and beautiful It is also usually easy for these people to -build upper body muscle Your neck may have become stiff and hunched before you reached -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders -puberty but it still has the potential to be remobilized to its optimal extent These exercises will -rehabilitate aspects of your neck that you havent used in years After reclaiming your muscles -and the coordination to use them you will find that they contribute subtly to everything you -do A retracted neck with no dormancy or frailty appears striking and even ostentatious but -you wont feel guilty about it because the people struck by it will know you cant help it -Optimal neck carriage is something that cannot be faked -Illustration Additional antirigidity poses for the neck -Simulate Vomiting to Stimulate Missing Corners in the Neck -Sometimes when throw up feel a gratifying crack in my neck An ancient reflexive motor arc -is actuated during vomiting that contracts all the attachments in the neck in series allowing you -to access muscles you normally have no conscious control of Take advantage of this by -performing neck antirigidity while you pretend to vomit -Neck Exercise Simulate Vomiting -Find your way to your hands and knees and rest comfortably Simulate the action of throwing -up Dry heaving will induce contractions in muscles from the stomach to the back of the head -as part of an innate action pattern As you use the vomiting pattern to reach into muscles -throughout the neck twist and turn the neck in every direction You should notice small -cracking sensations as well as the achy sensation of activating muscles that rarely get used -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Before Program Peace vomiting was painful for me This was the case because muscles in my -abdomen were braced to the point of stagnancy At times when retching my internal organs -would feel like they were on fire As you might have guessed the diaphragm and stomach -produce much of the force used to expel food This exercise along with those from Chapter -and have made it so that vomiting is painless -Keep Your Shoulders Down and Back -In cartoons when a character becomes defensive or deferential they raise their shoulders -Body language experts and animal behaviorists point out that this behavior may represent an -effort to protect the neck specifically the carotid artery and jugular vein However prolonged -use of this insecure posture causes the muscles along the back of the neck and shoulders -trapezius to become stuck in partial contraction This means we walk sit and sleep in our -beds with raised shoulders -The simple act of actively pushing the shoulders toward the floor can remodel the upper -body The latissimus dorsi lats that start under the armpits and run along the sides of the -torso provide this tug The more often you use them to pull the shoulders down the more tone -they develop Pilates practitioners concentrate on keeping the head up and the shoulders down -by imagining they are trying to maximize the distance between their ears and the tops of their -shoulders In personal training this is referred to as shoulder packing It involves depressing -the shoulders and squeezing the shoulder blades together Regularly engaging in a practice like -this will improve your kinesthetic awareness of what it feels like to appropriately position your -neck and shoulder blades -Neck Exercise Keeping the Shoulders Down and Back -Bring your neck into a gentle retraction Next press your shoulders down toward the floor -The shoulder blades should be lightly squeezed together adducted with neck elongated -chin angled down and chest open From here engage your entire shoulder girdle by pressing -your shoulders and arms down You can pretend that you are a gymnast performing a -support hold on two parallel bars You could also imagine that you are pressing yourself up -out of a sewer hole Once you have gotten the hang of it try it pressing down against a hard -surface such as a chair tabletop or the floor Again you want to reinforce this position from -as many angles as possible -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders -Pressing the shoulders down is made easier by carrying or pretending to carry a load in -the hands This is the posture of a highly commanding and athletic person It is also the posture -that our body was designed for given that we have been finetuned for carrying items while -walking Imagine yourself carrying large hunks of meat or a long spear and a heavy wooden -club The most efficient way to carry these things is with the shoulders fully pressed toward the -ground as our ancestors would have Whether walking socializing carrying things exercising -or in bed you want your shoulders back and down -Neck Exercise Keeping the Shoulders Down with Weights -Hold a two to pound dumbbell in each hand and allow the weight to pull your shoulders -toward the floor Dynamically shift the position of your shoulder blades and focus on the -sensations involved While letting the weight tug at your shoulders gently rotate the -shoulders outward and inward Next try rolling them either forward or backward in circles -As you do so try to contract all the muscles in your upper torso You should feel this stretch -reaching into previously hidden rigidity all over your upper body -Puff Up and Open the Chest -Many women hold the breastbone down and inward to withdraw their breasts Men do it to -make their chest less conspicuous This unnecessary modesty leads to unhealthy posture by -depressing the collarbones and lowering the head Ladies and gentlemen it is healthiest for you -to project your breast forward so disregard any perceived social consequences -Neck Exercise Heart Opener -With your neck retracted clasp your hands behind your back and pull down This should -draw your shoulders back and down and spread your collarbones wide Arch the chest -upward and forward Project it out into space Walk and move in this way with your chest -cracked wide open -For optimal shoulder stability you want to strengthen the muscles that externally rotate -your shoulders Do this by turning your wrists outward so that your palms face forward -Allow this to rotate your shoulders toward your back so that they are no longer slumped -forward With this simple change you should feel your chest and collarbones spread open deep -within their joints Alternately try lifting your arms to waist height with the palms facing the -sky At the same time retract your neck flex your glutes and puff out your chest Keep -practicing this external rotation of the shoulders until it is habitual It is especially important -during cardio and weightbearing exercises -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -T -Illustration A woman A pressing herself out of a sewer hole B allowing weights to tug her shoulders down -C with her shoulders back and down and the hands clasped behind the back D E with her palms facing the sky -and her shoulders externally rotated -Use Shrugging for Antirigidity -Apes generally walk on all fours Their upper body which we have inherited was designed for -it To support this form of locomotion apes assume a multitude of neck and shoulder postural -configurations as they press their hands against the ground with each stride There are many -such postures between shoulders completely shrugged and shoulders completely down -You will find that shoulder shrugging is a great counterpose to shoulders down and that a shrug -enhances your ability to find achiness in the neck retracted position -Postural Exercise Shrugging -Place your hands on the ground a table or a countertop and push away while -simultaneously shrugging your shoulders to rehabilitate frailty Vary this posture in as many -ways as possible Try it with your neck extended and retracted Try it with the shoulders -bowed toward the front of the body and then rotated toward the back -Illustration Shrugging positions for antirigidity -Other Methods of Antirigidity -Aside from knucklewalking apes are also built for climbing trees and swinging between -branches You may know where am going with this recommend using either gymnastics rings -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders -or TRX Bands to recreate similar isometric poses to repair your neck and shoulders You can -hang rings or bands from many places including a tree branch or even a pullup bar ina -doorway Use these supports to place your body into unfamiliar positions from which to search -for areas in need of antirigidity -Neck Exercise Using Gymnastics Rings for Optimal Neck Retraction -Place each of your hands in a ring with your arms spread out at degrees Press down -lightly on the rings as if you were attempting to perform an iron cross Retract the neck -pulling the chin toward the neck This position should be very frail and unstable and should -provide months of productive antirigidity training -You can assume many other gymnastic positions from the rings and receive an excellent -isometric workout The positions include the support hold Maltese and various other static -strength holds You can also perform ring pushups dips pullups rows front levers -muscleups hanging leg raises and much more Because you can do these with your feet on -the ground you have complete control of the intensity As these exercises get easier put -more of your weight into your arms rather than your legs -Many other tools can be used in antirigidity as props to place the body into unfamiliar -joint configurations You can use a trapeze a pullup bar gymnastics supports a yoga swing -inflatable stability balls and many others A long dowel or pole can also be used to help you -leverage neglected positions in what are commonly called stick mobility exercises -If you have access to a pool or body of water you should also consider treading water -Treading water is near the top of the list of exercises when it comes to calories burned per -minute Despite this it is not likely to lead to repetitive strain injuries because it happens ina -weightless environment where there is very little stress on your joints Every inch of your -body is working while you tread and unlike other cardio routines the arms shoulders neck -and torso are completely engaged Also it presents various opportunities for antirigidity -because there are dozens of kick and arm variations you can use Treading water with your -arms while holding your neck in a retracted position may be the fastest way to ingrain -retraction Treading water in a pool never gets boring because you can bring a phone or tablet -outside prop it up on the ground using a towel and use it to watch videos while you tread -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Ate ACP -LI -niveat -Pe -ore -Illustration Poses for antirigidity and antilaxity using gymnastics rings or TRX bands -paar e nites -a Watacrease -EONS -CDPAOIGME -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -also recommend contracting into poses of postural strength on a trampoline -For instance bounce up and down while flexing the glutes flexing the chin to the chest -and pulling the shoulders back and down The accelerations and deaccelerations from jumping -will expose frailty and allow you to flex deeper into some of your biggest problem areas Even a -mini trampoline can be used to this end -Compression for the Neck -strongly advise massaging the neck You want to use compression percussion and vibration -on every nook and cranny Exercises and and Exercise provide examples -Consider regularly using percussion with a knuckle tool baseball or vibrating massager on the -entire neck to reduce excessive tone -The End Goal for the Upper Body -As you get better at pushing your shoulders toward the ground with a retracted neck you will -find that this integrates your entire upper body into a more cohesive unit It will allow you to -create simultaneous and complementary tone in the muscles that pull the shoulder forward -pectorals the muscles that pull the shoulders backward rhomboids and the muscles that -pull the shoulders down latissimus dorsi This allows these three sets of muscles to pull -against each other synergistically -Most people tend to contract only one of these at a time but not all three simultaneously -Generally only very physically dominant people with limber necks feel comfortable having this -triumvirate active all at once You want to walk around with a light contraction in all three of -these muscle groups on a daily basis As you do it picture yourself as Conan the Barbarian with -a giant sword in his hands as SheHulk carrying groups of people out of a burning building or as -something in that vicinity -Illustration A Pectorals B Rhomboids C Latissimus Dorsi D All three muscle groups holding a light -contraction will result in the conveyance of power -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders -Conclusion -For two decades had a pronounced knot to the right of the C vertebra in my neck It was -large enough for people to notice regularly and inquire about The knot was larger than the size -of my entire thumb and several professionals voiced their concerns No fewer than four -doctors told me it was not muscular and that it was a lipoma or a cyst However knew it was -just a knotted muscle Over the next two years used antirigidity to leverage my way into this -achy closeddown gnarl As gained access to it by searching for positions capable of making it -ache it shrunk gradually until it disappeared This general process applied to several other -knots in my neck that were less conspicuous Apply it to yours -Indian people use a head shake or wobble as a nonverbal signal to indicate goodwill and -use it to mean anything from good to I understand believe this wobble signifies neck -vitality relaxation and an easygoing approach It is a beautiful way to put people at ease and -think it is no coincidence that this marvelous expression arises from the same culture that -brought us yoga and Buddhist philosophy Incorporate the use of your neck into your nonverbal -behavior Use smooth playful neck motions to help you build rapport with people and allay -their tendency toward neck stiffness -The simple exercises in this chapter will revise the neural circuitry involved in holding your -head up They will provide abounding coordination mobility and strength that will make your -neck posture monumental Raise your head imperiously with poise and majesty and be the -master of all that you survey -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e In most people the neck is severely underused and holds massive amounts of strain -e Anterior head syndrome also called the dowagers hump and nerd neck is caused -by jutting the chin out bending the top of the neck backward and pushing the bottom -of the neck forward This is called neck protraction and is a highly submissive posture -e Counteract this by performing neck retraction which involves pulling the bottom of the -neck backward and pushing the top forward while tucking the chin inward toward the -chest and throat This should include a chin lock -e You can assume many postures that will help you locate dormant muscle in the neck -and shoulders so that it can be rehabilitated with antirigidity training These include -neck retraction protraction and extension pressing the shoulders down shrugging -hugging yourself shoulder external rotation opening the chest clasping the hands -behind the back holding them out to the side and many others -e The more you practice bringing dormant neck and shoulder muscles to fatigue the -sooner they will be strong enough to hold an athletic and stable position naturally -e If you use antirigidity to rehab the stiff rigid muscles in your neck you will become less -tightly wound and you will find the act of exercise to be easier and more rewarding -Chapter Antirigidity for the Neck and Shoulders -Chapter Endnotes -Matsui T Fujimoto T Treatment for depression with chronic neck pain -completely cured in of patients following neck muscle treatment Neuroscience -Medicine -Kado D M Huang M H Karlamangla A S BarrettConnor E Greendale G A -Hyperkyphotic posture predicts mortality in older communitydwelling men and -women A prospective study Journal of the American Geriatric Society -Hansraj K K Assessment of stresses in the cervical spine caused by posture and -position of the head Surgical Technology International -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back -Lower back pain is more common than neck pain it is the second leading cause for physician -visits in the US It is so crippling that Americans spend an estimated billion annually on -lower back pain alone This preventable ailment is taxing our wallets and healthcare system -Because our lower backs are foundational to our morale fortitude and faith in ourselves -weakness and pain in that area tax our very sense of personal agency -In most cases the predominant reason for back pain is muscular imbalance Vital muscles -are left underused and undeveloped while others are overused and strained We use them -at only a fraction of their full range and usually only while breathing shallowly This corrupts -the muscles with the same ailment we have been discussing all along dormancy due to -partial contraction -Illustration A Interior anatomy of the lower back with some underlying musculature revealed B Exterior -musculature of the lower back C Excessive backward curve lordosis in the lower back -My lower back was treacherous The muscles surrounding my lumbar vertebrae were in -such bad shape that they hurt every time coughed or sneezed would severely strain my -lower back every year due to stress lack of sleep or improper exercise leaving me unable to -walk for days at a time A few times was bedridden for a week forced to crawl back and forth -to the bathroom on my hands and knees Since began antirigidity training this has never -happened The dormant muscle that used to lock up when threw my back out was -transformed into springy mobile loadaccepting muscle unraveled my entire lumbar region -by combining antirigidity spinal decompression stretching and therapeutic massage This -chapter will touch on each of these giving you the information you need to transform your -bodys most powerful physical asset -How tense is your lower back The activity below will guide you through using your fingers -to feel the tense dormant muscles along the back of your hips iliac crest -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Lower Back Activity Diagnose the Extent of Lower Back Dormancy -Press your index and middle fingers into your lower back inches above each butt cheek -Feel the muscles covering the sacrum the central bone pictured below and your pelviss iliac -crests the bony prominences to each side of the sacrum As you move your fingers out -toward your hips you will likely feel large tense cords of muscle fibers right over the -sacroiliac joints labeled below This is dormancy This chapter will detail how to bring them -to their ideal state smooth and flat with no perceptible knotting -Spine -Sacroiliac -Joint -lliac Crest -Sacrum -Pelvis -Coccyx -Sitz Bones -Illustration A Man feeling tense knots at a sacroiliac joint B Woman with apparent dimples at the sacroiliac -joints C Spine and pelvis seen from behind The sacroiliac joints are marked with an x -As you know from Chapter the lower part of our spine called the lumbar region -naturally curves backward This backward bend is known as lumbar lordosis The lower back is -bent lordotically to support the legs and absorb impact In lordosis the top of the pelvis is tilted -forward as if you were pouring a bowl of soup from your waist out in front of you In most -people this lordotic curve is excessive making it structurally unsound When the lordosis is -excessive it is called anterior pelvic tilt or pelvic anteversion Generally the more pelvic tilt -one has the less pelvic mobility is available to them -When my back had excessive lordosis my belly button was very far from my nipples -Observe your belly button in your default posture How far is it from your nipples To correct -this flex your glutes push your hips forward and watch your belly button rise Squeezing your -glutes resets your pelvislumbar relationship back to where nature intended it to be That is -why it is essential to do this throughout the day -Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back -Vey WAT -Illustration A Excessive lumbar lordosis is apparent as a considerable distance between the navel and -nipples B Flexing the glutes and pushing the hips forward results in a neutral lower spine with less distance -between the belly button and nipples C Excessive lumbar lordosis from the side D Neutral spine with -glutes flexed -You can also neutralize excessive lordosis by teaching the lower spine to curve in the -extreme opposite direction To do this flex the hips inward and up toward the face lumbar -kyphosis This rotates the imaginary soup bowl backward so that the soup is no longer pouring -out in front of you like to think of this posture as shrimping up because it involves curling -the spines bottom half toward the stomach Flex your glutes as you do this and it becomes the -equivalent of neck retraction -Recruiting Your Gluteus Muscles -When the glutes are offline other muscles poorly suited for the job are forced to support the -core and stabilize the trunk It is generally the muscles in the lower back and hips that end up -compensating for underuse of the gluteus muscles taking on heaps of tension in the process -To counteract this and set your pelvis in a neutral position simply contract your buttocks -Squeezing your butt ensures your pelvic posture and tilt are optimized -Pilates advocates maintaining a neutral spine by sucking your stomach in flexing your -abdominals relaxing the lumbar spine and holding the glutes in a light contraction -During Pilates workouts practitioners try to maintain this core engagement throughout every -exercise Neutral spine and glute engagement should be generalized to everything you do -not just exercise Ideally the glutes should have some form of contractile tone with every -movement you make This will trim your abdomen and increase the strength and size of -your butt Another reason some people dont flex the glutes is they want to increase the -conspicuousness of their butt as excessive lumbar lordosis pushes the butt out further -However lumbar lordosis deactivates the glutes and with time their tone will decrease -resulting in a smaller weaker butt -Flexing the glutes is a dominant expression that we shouldnt hesitate to make Most -people avoid it however because the way their life has programed them contracting their -glutes takes their breath away Imagine being a naked caveman or woman The commanding -ones had gluteal tone and the unassuming ones had hindquarters that were soft and limp -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -So use antilaxity to make glute firmness your default by paring firm glute contractions with -deep breathing many times per day While this can make the lower back feel stiff you can also -employ antirigidity with the glutes contracted moving in ways that target unfamiliar -achy configurations -Perform Antirigidity During Cat and Cow Poses -Performing antirigidity maneuvers within yoga poses is an excellent way to find dormant lower -back muscles that will benefit from being contracted In particular cow cat and birddog poses -are the bread and butter of lower back health -LRP Ag -Illustration A Cat or camel pose B Cow pose C Birddog pose -Backward Bends Straighten Your Spine -A powerful way to counteract lumbar lordosis is to gradually introduce your body to global back -extension You can start by watching TV lying on your stomach To make this more comfortable -you can prop yourself up on your elbows or place a pillow under your chest To make it harder -try pressing the pubic bone into the floor until you are balancing on your pelvis and balling your -buttocks into firm mounds When you need something harder still gently lift your feet and -knees off the ground -Use the back extension exercises in which you rolled over a basketball from Chapter to -complement these positions The simple act of lying on your stomach on the floor will make you -feel stiff at first so remember to perform a forward bend or a few situps afterward as a -counterpose With time work toward a full upward dog pose If you can breathe slowly and -fully in these positions you can dismantle your vertebral tension -A -Illustration A Reading on the stomach B Pressing the pelvis into the ground C Upward dog pose -Downward Dog Pose -Downward dog is another key yoga pose After you internalize the mechanics of downward -dog try walking the dog by bending one knee at a time Next try shifting the butt left and -Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back -right while holding downward dog Pivot as much as you can with your hips while doing this -You can access many normally inaccessible muscles all over the spine from this position This -includes muscles in your neck For example from downward dog look to the right raising and -lowering the head times Repeat this while looking to the left Soend time walking around in -downward dog doing the bear crawl -Illustration A B C D Downward dog pose E F Plow pose -Strengthen the Hip Flexors Childs Happy Baby and Pigeon Poses -Strengthening the hip flexor muscles on the front side of your waist is imperative for lower back -health To do this practice the poses below while focusing on bringing the knee closer to the -chest in a way that creates a firm contraction in the frontal portion of the hip If you breathe -through the subtle pinch in the hip flexor you can coax it to contract fully Doing this regularly -will cause your hip flexors to become much stronger and provide integral support for your -lower back -Illustration A Childs pose B Happy baby pose C D Pigeon pose -Trunk Twist -There are many joints in the lower back and hips that articulate very subtly They amount to a -small degree of movement but their presence or absence affects every lower body motion -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -For instance people with a mobile sacroiliac joint can twist their trunk below the waist If you -sit in a chair and turn to look over your shoulder you want the turning motion to extend from -the neck all the way down to the sitz bones If the rotation stops at your waist level you know -that your sacroiliac joint is locked up Regular trunk twists will unlock a multitude of muscles -along your spine allowing your hips to move with your legs during walking and making every -lower body movement more graceful sensual and stable -LATALe -Illustration Trunk twist while A seated in a chair B standing C touching the floor D seated on the ground -ZI SO An -i A -Illustration Hip twist progression The first row shows a version of this exercise where the feet are not -touching The second row shows a much more challenging version where the feet are touching Performing this -times daily will help you progress from the first version to the second over just a few months while building -lower back and core strength -Wagging Your Tail -Next will describe a tactic to engage your hips that can lead to better hip mobility think of it -as wagging the tail To do this tilt your pelvis from side to side This is called pelvic incline or -list One hip goes up while the other goes down and then you reverse it One way to master -this movement is to relax on your back keeping both legs straight Then pull one leg in toward -you and push the other away Practice varying the extent intensity and speed until you -develop coordination Once you have mastered this hip swivel you can even do it while seated -The contractions involved will lead you to plenty of achy muscles Combining tail wagging with -antirigidity will help restore motor control and fluid motion to the hips and pelvis -Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back -i -Illustration A B Sitting pelvic tilt C D Lying pelvic tilt -Standing One Leg Up -While standing place one foot flat on a surface that is between knee and waist height This will allow -you to leverage your way into hip frailty to which you may have previously been oblivious From here -you can also perform isometric contractions of your side obliques abdominals and one of your glutes -Regularly put one foot up on tables and countertops to achieve these -ay -Illustration With one leg up perform a A side bend B twist or C forward bend -Rock and Roll on the Floor -An excellent way to resituate your lumbar vertebrae is to rock up and down your spine from -your tailbone to your neck To avoid injury do this on a carpet or yoga mat Lie down on your -back and pull your knees into your chest Roll forward and backward Attempt to roll smoothly -from the first position depicted in the drawings below to the third and back again repeatedly -To do this properly you want your entire spine curved into a forward Cshape kyphosis You -should find that as you rock into the third position pictured below where the man has his -weight on his neck your lumbar region is subject to a pleasurable pulling sensation Use this for -antirigidity -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Ilustration Rolling in a ball to achieve antirigidity -Squats -Squats create formidable strength but also expose us to a high risk of injury recommend -performing them with absolutely no weight as a way to develop foundational strength -Performing between five and squat repetitions every other day is a great way to improve -force and power production in the body If you arent using weights you can play with and vary -the forces acting on the disks and vertebrae distributing them in different ways to intentionally -load the weakest segments -Illustration A Performing squats or deadlifts with heavy weight and invariant posture inevitably leads to -injury and pain As should be clear by now our bodies were not designed for this kind of strain B C Instead -opt for bodyweight squats with optimal neutral posture or minor postural variations -Especially if you perform squats with additional weight it is imperative to squat using -proper form You want your back flat feet straight and your knees slightly outside your feet yet -behind your toes Take a wide stance with your feet just outside the shoulders As you squat -keep your shins as vertical as possible not tilted forward Put your hands at chin height out in -front of you At the bottom of the squat you want to maintain a neutral curve in your lower -back without excessive lordosis or kyphosis As you stand flex your butt -strongly recommend starting with supported squats You can achieve this by holding -a rail tabletop chair leg pair of doorknobs TRX bands or gymnastics rings and using them to -Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back -pull yourself up You can also place your hands on your knees and push against them for -support This will reduce the forces on your hips knees and ankles allowing you to progress -into unsupported squats in time Breathing deeply from a low squat with your knees -moderately loaded will recondition them healing that crunchy quality and reducing their -tendency to pop and lock up It will do the same for your ankles and lower back -Most people cannot perform a fullrange butttoankle squat While many exercise -professionals advise against lowering your butt below the knees when squatting recommend -lowering your butt to rest on your heels but only if you do so with body weight in a slow -controlled manner When paired with diaphragmatic breathing a complete squat will give you -a full lower back stretch extending to where your lumbar spine meets your sacrum excising the -tension from this area -Everyone should do bodyweight squats Even doing only five a day will inevitably teach -your body to do it properly recommend trying other advanced weightlifting techniques such -as lunges power cleans snatches and deadlifts with either body weight or very light -dumbbells recommend only adding weight once you have mastered the form and can do -repetitions without any discomfort -Studies have shown that lower back exercises are the most beneficial when practiced daily -More importantly endurance exercise is recommended over exertive exercise for its protective -value In other words use low intensity body weight and high repetition to to slowly -and gently bring these muscles to fatigue These will establish your unrealized core strength -Static Squatting -Holding a static squat with your butt at the level of your knees is an ageold yoga technique In -martial arts this is done with the legs somewhat spread in a pose called horse stance which -is used to strengthen the lower back and create a feeling of groundedness A system called -Foundation Training developed by Eric Goodman popularized another version of the static -squat called the founder pose Check out his version online A static squat helps isolate and -strengthen the epicenter of lower back frailty -Lower Back Exercise Hold a Static Squat -With legs shoulder length apart bend your knees until your butt is just above the level of -your knees Hold a static squat while placing the lower back into different configurations -From squatting position introduce complete lordosis in your lower back and then total -kyphosis Hold the squat while moving carefully back and forth between the two -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -oe -Ilustration A Static squat with lumbar lordosis B Static squat with lumbar neutrality C Static squat with -lumbar kyphosis -Release the Hamstrings -Most of us have hamstring tension that has caused them to adapt to shorterthannormal -resting length Shortened hamstrings tug insidiously on the sitz bones placing significant -pressure on the lower back This constant pull forces the pelvis into excessive lordosis This is -why stretching the hamstrings is very important for lower back health One of the best ways to -stretch your hamstrings is to lie on your back with one leg in the air wrapping a towel or belt -around your foot From here pull your foot toward your head as pictured below A ubiquitous -lower back disorder called lower cross syndrome is marked by short and tight hamstrings and -groin muscles along with weak and underdeveloped buttocks and abdominals Hamstring and -hip flexor stretches will relieve the former while squats and situps will strengthen the latter -Weak Tight -Abdominals Thoracolumbar -Extensors -Tight Hip Weak Glutes -Flexors -Illustration A Man sitting with legs straight releasing the hamstrings B Stretching the hamstring using -a towel C The features of the lower cross syndrome -Spinal Decompression and Traction -Age and pressure pull our vertebrae closer together compressing the spine This makes the -spine like an inchworm that has retracted its telescoping body segments Decompression also -known as spinal traction stretches the muscles surrounding the spinal vertebrae increasing -Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back -circulation and resting length Once these muscles are stretched they can contract more fully -and undergo antirigidity exercises Spinal decompression can feel precarious like you are being -pulled apart Combining it with diaphragmatic breathing however will assure your spine that it -is safe to expand to full length -A great way to decompress is to use an inversion table and lie upside down suspended by -your feet for a few minutes each day Commonly recommended by physicians inversion tables -have demonstrated significant clinical benefits A second method to achieve this is to practice -stretchlying which encourage you to read about online Third passive motion from shaking -can also aid in decompression Passive motion can come from having someone jostle your spine -rhythmically or using a reciprocating chi machine that continuously shakes the body All three -of these techniques often cause peoples spines to tense up defensively But if you give in to it -you can teach your spinal muscles not to resist the passive forces As you might imagine paced -breathing is immensely helpful to that end -Massage also has decompressive effects eg Activity Consider having a masseuse -perform an easy deep tissue massage on your lower back After a few visits it should feel -comfortable for them to use their elbows to press deeply into every area surrounding your -lumbar spine Having a masseuse stand on your lower back can also be helpful and is common -in Thai massage If your back is very strong you can ask your masseuse to stand on your pelvis -and take gentle steps all the way up your spine This is a fantastic way to decompress these -areas but it can be dangerous -Decompressing the spine will help your muscles extend to their intended length However -because they have yet to be used at this length and have poor tone as a result they will initially -be vulnerable to injury if accidentally contracted too forcefully This is why after any form of -decompression you should avoid intense workouts and instead use antirigidity carefully -and remedially -Compression and Massage -Compressing the muscles in your lower back by lying on top of baseballs is highly effective -To do this lie with your back on the ground and bend your knees Place a baseball on each side -of your spine just above your pelvis or along the iliac crest Alternatively you can use softballs -or tennis balls if baseballs are too painful Once the balls are in place lift your feet into the air -Use your legs to regulate the pressure placed on the balls directing that pressure into the -sorest spots You can also use them to compress the muscles around your love handles as well -as the gluteus maximus gluteus minimus gluteus medius piriformis and others -You want to rest each portion of your pelvis on the balls for several seconds at a time -ensuring you are breathing deeply and slowly The tremendous aching sensation results in fresh -blood pouring into stale lifeless muscles The aching will be vastly reduced after only a dozen -fiveminute sessions However as with the decompression exercises in the last section -it potentially leaves your lower back open to serious injury if you load these newly relaxed -muscles too intensely or too soon Therefore recommend performing this after your regular -exercises or before bed Using baseballs in this way will uproot the iliac knots and expel the -tension from your lower back -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration A Man pressing two baseballs into the sacroiliac joints B Man rolling lower back over a foam -cumble roller C Man using an inversion table -When baseballs are pressing into your back the pressure will change your backs normal -configuration permitting stretches in planes of motion previously blocked Take advantage of -this and perform antirigidity in these planes You can attain the same effect by placing a -football basketball or yoga block under your sacrum while lying supine -Like cankles love handles form due to dormant muscle Press a baseball thumb knuckle -or tool into the spongey dormant muscles responsible for your love handles Focus on pressing -firmly into the top ridge of your posterior pelvis Compressing and percussing these muscles -will revive them introduce new mobility in your hips and accordingly reduce fat deposition at -the site -To reduce confusion it is important for me to address the idea of localized fat loss -The majority of scientific studies have debunked the idea of targeted fat loss sometimes called -spot reduction In other words working out a particular area of the body may reduce overall -body fat but generally does not reduce fat deposition at that particular site For instance doing -a lot of bicep curls makes them bigger but does not reduce the fat content of the upper arm -However it is my conviction that rehabilitating dormant muscle using the antirigidity and -massage techniques outlined in this book can result in spot reduction have seen dramatic -instances of it on my own body and on those of my clients As the crunchy achy muscle around -your midsection is rehabbed it will become lean and trim -How to Bend Over -Most people bend over from the waist This means they hunch their spine forward from the -height of their belly button to bend down This leads to injury When bending you want to keep -your spine straight by bending a few inches lower at the hips This results in a hinge from the -hip with a straight back Hip hinging strengthens the erector spinae muscles and stretches the -hamstrings Fully engage the stomach muscles to help buffer the load on the lumbar spine Of -course if you are picking up something heavy you should squat down and lift with the knees -Otherwise lift small loads by hip hinging -Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back -Illustration A Improper bending from the waist B Proper hinging from the hips C Proper squatting to lift -a load -The more often you can bend over by hip hinging the better shoot for times per day -Put commonly used objects such as your phone charger on the floor so that you must bend to -the ground every time you use them -Perfecting Your SitUps -Situps are the best counterpose for any work with your spine They will reset your vertebrae -from your neck to your tailbone They place the lower back into neutrality helping protect -individual muscles from the repetitive strain that comes from being out of alignment For this -reason it is constructive to perform situps after performing the other back exercises in -this chapter -A few advanced variations to try when doing situps Place a small firm pillow or situp -pad under your lower back so that near the top of the situp you have something for your -kyphotic lumbar spine to arch against and press away from This will help ensure that you are -not stuck in lordosis during the situp Straighten your legs and rest the backs of your knees -on the ground throughout the motion Flex your buttocks as you come down from each sit -up Turn your neck and look to each side -Doing situps on the floor can irritate muscles that arent used to the intense forces This is -why recommend doing situps in bed It provides outstanding remedial rehab for the entire -spine and will accentuate all your other efforts to improve your neck and lower back Every -human should take three minutes to do at least situps in bed every other day -Illustration A Situps B Massaging the iliac crests with the knuckles C Elevating the sacrum with a -basketball into an unfamiliar position for antirigidity -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Conclusion -Remember the tense cords of muscle you found with your fingers between your lower spine -and hips at the beginning of this chapter When you compress stretch and tone these -muscles you will develop a different diagnostic marker dimples Spinal experts claim that -people with a dimple just above each buttock on either side of the spine have very healthy -lower backs The dimples demarcate mobility and strength in the sacroiliac joints used the -methods in this chapter for a whole year experienced dramatic results and still lacked these -two dimples figured the experts were wrong No was wrong After two additional years of -using these methods finally developed the dimples -Over the last five years have spent at least five minutes every day reconditioning my -lower back It was chronically painful before and now there is zero pain The alignment of my -vertebrae has changed significantly Some vertebrae were far more prominent than others -they even felt crooked to the touch Yet now they all lie in a straight line used to live in fear of -the next back injury but now a back injury seems almost inconceivable After you use the -exercises in this chapter your body will unconsciously recognize that your lower back will not -fail you If you are like me once you can trust your spine to support everything you do -immense amounts of unconscious trepidation will be relieved -Chapter Antirigidity for the Lower Back -Chapter Bullet Points -e Portions of the lower back are rarely used so they remain in a tense state of partial -contraction This leaves them susceptible to injury and causes lower back pain -e To optimize lumbar mobility use antirigidity exercises in the lumbar region by bending -extending and flexing it in every direction -e Doing situps yoga poses Pilates toe touches trunk twists hiphinging hipswiveling -deadlifts squats and lunges will all help -e These exercises should be performed with only your bodyweight at very low intensity -with many repetitions -e Bend over and touch your toes several times per day When doing so bend from the -hip not the waist -e You can employ traction to decompress the spine by using an inversion table -stretchlying or decompressive massage -e You can unlock the lumbar spinal muscles glutes hips and the entire sacroiliac joint by -massaging the area with baseballs compressing it with your knuckles or percussing it -with tools -e Put your lower back and hips into as many unfamiliar configurations as possible Rehab -these configurations from all angles using deep breathing antilaxity and antirigidity -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnote -Gokhale E steps to a painfree back Pendo Press -Chapter Use Optimal Posture and -Antirigidity While Walking -Walking is mans best medicine Hippocrates BCE BCE -lf there is a panacea in medicine it is walking Norman Doidge b -If you place an exercise wheel in a rats cage it will use it They naturally want to move A rat -that uses a wheel is much more mentally and physically healthy than a rat caged without one -It is also more resilient to stress and will live longer regularly have to remind myself that too -have a wheel in my cage and it is the block live on Merely walking around your block a few -times each day can vastly improve your mental and physical health -Walking keeps your respiratory and cardiovascular systems strong by providing them with -a light challenge However for a rat to attain health benefits its use of a wheel must be -voluntary If the rat feels forced the exercise becomes stressful and many of the benefits -disappear So when walk dont hurry have no time limit and no particular destination to -reach For me the endorphins from a voluntary minute walk make me feel like am no -longer in a cage Those from a minute walk turn a soso day into a splendid one -Modernday huntergatherers average around miles of walking and trotting every day -Like all mammals we are designed to move Some doctors urge patients to take steps -daily which equates to about five miles and takes about an hour and a half In my opinion this -is excessive for many people especially those who co not walk regularly They quickly develop -back knee and ankle pain at this rate Instead shoot for a healthy fraction of this that is -comfortable for you You might start somewhere between and steps -While mortality rates improve progressively with the number of steps taken daily this -positive effect levels off after approximately steps three miles per day This -demonstrates that you certainly dont need to walk a full steps each day to reap the -benefits You might want to use your car or a GPS to measure the distance around your block -Once you have that distance in miles multiply it by there are around steps ina -mile to find out how many steps it takes to circle your block and then how many laps you -should shoot for to reach your desired total distance Wherever you choose to walk you should -find that after a few thousand steps you feel your bracing patterns and emotional tensions -begin to wash away -At the end of Chapter we will discuss the panoply of health benefits from regular -exercise in more detail The remainder of this chapter will discuss how to get the most out of -your walks It will coach you to walk assertively with impeccable posture while employing anti -rigidity and taking appropriate breaks and counterposes Basically it details how you can turn -your walks into time spent putting Program Peace into practice -Use Good Posture While Walking in Public -Whenever we encounter someone the first impulse is to query friend or foe Unconscious -circuits in the brain work to decide Are they going to attack me Are they easily provoked -Are they analyzing me waiting for me to submit before they decide whether to be hostile -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Then we try to determine if they did have ill intentions would they have the power to enact -them In other words we size them up to see which one of us would prevail in a physical -altercation Often regardless of whether we think we could win we let our posture cave in -Dont do any of these things The inclination to size up others turns our world into a hostile -place from the inside out However we do want to be aware of how others size us up -Psychologists criminologists and law enforcement personnel agree that walking like a -victim increases the likelihood of being mugged or assaulted They recommend that we walk -with a purpose Studies have shown that criminals can identify people with histories of -victimization by their gait They walk like an easy target asynchronously timidly with short -strides Depressed people also have a characteristic way of walking They exhibit reductions in -walking speed stride length vertical head movement and arm movement at the shoulder and -elbow When you walk do the exact opposite -People who walk like despondent prey are advertising their victimization so others can see -that they dont want to compete They are communicating that they will give in to a bully -But the same selfhandicapping that will repel a competitor will attract a predator There is a -fundamental tradeoff to submissive posture and that is being ripe for predation This is why -the best way to carry yourself is to use the optimal postures described in the preceding -chapters without a hint of either competitiveness or vulnerability -Your neck should be straight with your chin tucked in toward your throat Your shoulders -should be pressed down and back Your eyes should be wide and looking upward Your face -and your entire body should be relaxed You should be breathing smooth slow long deep -breaths through your nose This combination of comfort and confidence should help you see -the strangers you encounter on your walks as compatriots and allies A zygomatic smile and a -cordial salute can help them see you in the same way -Walk spryly with nonchalant control and balance Expand yourself In becoming more -expansive channel a peacock fanning its tail feathers a cat galloping sideways or a baboon -romping through foliage Feel the animal strength in your body Extend your neck and roll your -shoulders back so that you can openly display your chest This gives a signal to others that you -are not afraid of being attacked Hands placed near the hips show readiness for action hands -behind the back signify confidence Head erect and neck retracted demonstrate the posture of -a military general an elite athlete or royalty Think imperial dignifiedregal Visualize yourself -emanating gravitas and a commanding presence Good posture leads others to assume that you -must have much to be confident about and they will accept what you project -Huntergatherers have been documented to steal meat from lions by merely walking up to -them and taking it How you ask They walk with purpose They wait until a lion kills a -wildebeest Then as few as three humans will approach a pride of as many as one dozen hungry -beasts They walk directly toward the lions from a distance without a hint of hesitation One by -one the lions buy into the illusion grow wary and flee the site Walking while projecting -assertion intention and mettle is incredibly powerful and acts as a selffulfilling prophecy -As You Walk Own the Space Around You -It is common to see a monkey feeding peacefully in one spot but then depart suddenly when -approached by another monkey who promptly claims the spot Behavioral biologists have a -word for when one animal makes another animal move It is called displacement It happens -Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking -when a subordinate animal uses its knowledge of the hierarchy to determine that a -confrontation should be avoided It allows the other animal to evict it from the physical space it -was occupying Preferred spaces can involve food like a prime spot of grass They can involve -mates like a spot closer to a fertile female Sometimes animals are forced to move from -unremarkable spaces where they happen to be Dont allow anyone to evict you from where -you happen to be -This is not a call to be impolite Be thoughtful when passing people share space -open doors move over to accommodate couples or to make room for children families or the -elderly However dont displace yourself to appease an imposing person any more than you -would for someone who wasnt Hold your ground and expect them to move out of the way as -much as you do When walking own your immediate space as well as your entire forward -trajectory through space It may feel like you are flouting social customs but remember that -you are not doing anything illegal You are doing invaluable internal work increasing the -boundaries of your comfort zone When you inevitably bump into someone be firm but -amiable about it -Many people have told me that my cat is the calmest they have ever seen This may be -because am calm around him treat him like a friend and pet him firmly fluidly and slowly -But think the main reason for his composure is that respect his space make an effort not to -step over him or walk so close to him that he fears being trampled give him authority over his -immediate area which provides him a shield of certainty and control Take this shield for -yourself wherever you go Feel complete ownership of the space around you Wherever you -are is your territory because you are in it -Walk with Exaggerated Posture -When first went out on long walks exaggerating my posture and standing tall could tell that -other pedestrians questioned my motives looking suspicious or even offended Some people -seemed incensed at seeing me standing vertically and looking upwards My posture looked fake -because was forcing myself to stand straight without the healthy postural tone that should -accompany it Ironically the best way to develop this musculature is to fake it standing -straighter and taller than our body is accustomed Once the postural muscles strengthen -standing erect will look genuine and people will not question it -Walking Exercise Take A Walk with Exaggerated Posture -Take a walk in an area where you can avoid worrying about other people judging you Walk -for two minutes with greatly exaggerated posture Stand tall and straight Use the five tenets -of optimal posture as well as the antilaxity method from Chapter The contractions -involved should start to fatigue after a few minutes Once they do continue to walk but rest -your postural muscles completely for at least a minute Repeat By letting the muscles go -limp you are giving them the break they need to regenerate -Pease dont take it overboard Other pedestrians may be provoked if they can tell that -some of your nonverbals are consistent with overcompensation They may assume that you are -putting on a ruse and feel compelled to put you back in your place You want to avoid this -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -so be measured and conservative around others as you gradually transform your victim walk -into a victor walk This is also why at first chose to walk and stretch in uncrowded outdoor -places either at dusk or after dark Find a safe welllit park or boulevard where you still have -the bit of privacy you need to really swagger Strut creatively channeling the gamut of your -favorite personality types -You can work on the timing of your steps by stepping to music It is as easy as ensuring that -your foot strikes the ground on every beat Try stomping around your block with headphones -on If you let nothing but the drums determine the cadence of your footfall you will learn to -walk unhesitatingly Within two hour of cumulative practice your rhythmic flow will be -masterful You can incorporate a twostep a spin or turn and a crossstep where you are -walking sideways and one foot crosses over the other -Optimal posture only looks natural if it is clear that a person has spent a lot of time there -and has interacted with ordinary loads and forces from that position To get your optimal -posture looking authentic spend time creating these loads and forces using antirigidity -Perform Antirigidity Exercises While Walking -The majority of this books exercises can be performed while walking but the following -exercises are specifically for your walks -Many people rarely lift their arms above their head because they are afraid it will make -others uncomfortable This complete disuse results in muscle dormancy and neglect of entire -sections of the cervical and thoracic spine The first part of Exercise below involves -extending the arms directly above the head with the neck retracted If you do this while -employing the antirigidity method from Chapter for three cumulative hours you will find -that your cervical spine is completely resituated You will also invalidate any fears or -reservations about lifting your arms in public The following exercises offer similar postures that -you can employ antirigidity within You might take light weights eg one to five pounds with -you to accentuate the forces at play -Walking Exercise Neck Antirigidity While Walking -Walk for one minute in each of the following configurations while using the antirigidity -protocol -Raise the hands and arms directly above the head for a few minutes at a time with the -neck retracted You can hold your hands straight up or slightly outward making a V -for victory Search for the achiest configurations and contract your way into them -Hug yourself Try to grab your shoulder blades with your fingertips as you inch you -fingers toward your spine Do so while varying the retraction of your neck and the -position of your shoulders rooting around for anything that will lead to a crack -Arch the chest inward as far as it will go Again this is called thoracic kyphosis in the -medical world and a hollow in the gymnastics world Hugging yourself should give -you an idea of how to do this Next do the opposite and arch the chest outward -Then do it laterally to each side -Clasp the hands together in front of you and form the same inward chest arch or -kyphotic hollow from Extend the arms as far forward as they will go and press -Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking -them together so that you can contract into dormant muscles along the collar bone -and shoulder girdle -Place one hand in the air and the other at your waist Reach as high as you can with -the hand in the air and as low as you can with your hand at your waist Pivot around -in this position hunting for frailty to flex within Switch arms and repeat -Stand straight with the elbows bent As you press them toward the ground make -small circles with the elbows as if you were flapping chicken wings Scour for frailty in -the area between your neck and shoulder blades -Walk with your hands out to the side at degrees making a t with your body Try -to bring different aspects of your shoulder blade muscles to fatigue -Walk with your hands clasped behind your back and play with how this changes the -forces between your shoulder blades -IMlustration Positions for upperbody antirigidity while walking -Refresh Your Muscles While Walking -Walking requires only a very narrow range of spinal motion The tension created by walking -within this limited range can pull a misaligned spine even further out of alignment This is why -the longer you walk the more you tend to ache Simply squatting momentarily holding a static -lunge or reaching over to touch your toes can completely relieve this by pushing major muscles -through their full range This is why highly recommend that you do each of these things after -every halfmile that you cover -When you need a break from walking Stop and crouch down into a low squat -Straighten your back and flex your ankles knees hips and spine Then stand and place your -fists on your lower back with your elbows at degrees pointed behind you You can then -bend backwards in this position pressing your fists into your mid and lower back for five to -seconds to achieve a full back extension -Next use a full back flexion as a counterpose Slowly bend forward to touch your toes To -make this easier you can support your descent by placing your hands on your upper thighs and -sliding your hands over your knees down the shins and toward the feet Stop for a moment in -forward fold and then raise up the way that you went in -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -RATT -Illustration Antirigidity poses to use while taking a break from walking -To make these forward bends harder you can cradle your head in your hands as pictured -below and press it toward the ground to engage your neck extensors This will intensify the -active forces in your neck and lower back For another variation try this with your legs spread -two to three feet apart or try it with one leg two to three feet in front of the other think -everyone should be doing of these every day -i PEPE -Illustration Antirigidity routine for the neck and shoulders -Bent Over Walking Will Tap Into Your Lower Back Pain -There is one particular lumbar position that will reach into the core of your lower back frailty -Maintaining this position while walking will allow you to tap into it so that you can work out the -kinks To assume the position bend over from the waist not the hips and enter lumbar -kyphosis shrimp back where you curl your hips upwards and inwards toward your face -While you do this try to keep your glutes contracted Clasping your hands behind your back can -help provide support and balance Then keep this configuration and start walking taking small -tempered steps As long as you ensure that you remain in lumbar kyphosis you will engage -many dormant muscles anchored in the sacrum and ilium -Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking -This will make you feel like a very old person because of the way you are hunched over and -because of the intensely brittle feeling in your lower back as you plant each foot For safetys -sake this bentover walking should be done very carefully and just a little at a time at first -As you rehab this configuration you can become more ambitious by bending over further and -funneling more power into each stride It is risky because you can easily pull a muscle -However if you are careful it is a vigorous form of rehab that can help you reclaim the lumbar -mobility of your early childhood and reinstitute an entire mode of locomotion -Illustration Antirigidity routine to engage dormant lower back muscles -Experiment with walking using both extreme lumbar kyphosis and lordosis This can also be -done on a stair climber treadmill or elliptical machine at a lowspeed setting Carefully curl -your lumbar spine either backward or forward while on the machine as if you were performing -a cow or cat pose As your legs move and your weight is redistributed you will be tugging at -various partially contracted muscles Proceed slowly and carefully breathing through the pinch -you find during each cycle -Keep Your Feet Straight and Vary the Way You Use Them to Walk -We take every step in almost the same repetitive manner with minimal movement variation -at the foot ankle or knee We do this despite the incredible potential for mobility contained -within the thirtytwo joints fiftysix ligaments and thirtyeight muscles of our feet -Unfortunately many of these are largely immobile in most people The best way to reengage -the dormant muscles in your feet and legs is to spend a few minutes a day walking within -various positions as in the exercise below -Walking Exercise Vary the Placement of Your Feet -Strengthening each of the following stepping patterns will help your body find a happy -balance and the most efficient walking configuration Training them will build uncommon -mobility strength and coordination To do this walk for one minute in each of the -following ways -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Walk with more weight on the outer edge of your feet supination -Walk with your weight on the inside edge of your feet pronation -Walk with your feet more than shoulder length apart Each step should land out to -the side You can even try walking with your feet as many as three feet apart -Walk with your feet less than shoulder length apart Each step should land close to -the center of your body like walking a tightrope Consider crossing your feet -such that your left foot lands to the right of center and vice versa -Walk with your weight on your heels -Walk with your weight on the ball of the foot digging them into the ground -Walk with your feet turned out toward degrees lateral rotation -Walk with your feet turned in toward degrees medial rotation -March like a soldier by raising your knee higher than usual above the ground during -each step -Walk backwards -While walking your feet should face directly forward My feet used to be dramatically -turned out was able to fix this completely after only two weeks of walking a couple of minutes -a day while concentrating mindfully to ensure that my feet remained straight think you may -also be surprised by how just paying attention to it fixes this problem To strengthen both -tendencies you can use and above walking briefly with the toes turned out and then -turning in As when backbends are followed by forward bends gently training the extremes will -help the body find the ideal midline -You might also consider getting orthotic insoles prescribed for your shoes You can get a -prescription from a podiatrist or get fitted at your local drug store Insoles are commonly -used to support feet that have been worn out of shape by a walking style that favors one of -the above patterns to the exclusion of the others Wear these archsupporting inserts less -than half the time Again you will strengthen and crosstrain your feet by exposing them to -both conditions -Practice Glidewalking -Every step we take is supposed to be powered by a forceful gluteal contraction but most of us -have learned to walk without activating the glutes at all Adding a gluteal contraction at the end -of each step is known as glidewalking To practice this you want to take long strides with a -straight back leg that thrusts you forward due to the extension occurring at the buttock -To ensure that this happens place your hands inside your pants just above your back pockets -Cover the top half of each of your glutes with your fingers Walk so that you feel the top of each -glute contract firmly with every step After a few months of sporadically reminding yourself to -train this you will put your hand on your glute while walking and feel it ball up vigorously Over -time your glutes will become toned and brawny and will add stability and power to your stride -The same goes for the calves most people have engineered a firm calf contraction out of -their step Pushing off the ground with the calf muscles of the back leg will challenge and -develop them The heel should make contact with the ground first Then you should roll -forward across the length of the foot to the toes As this happens the ankle should pass -Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking -through much of its full range of motion The calf should be fully extended as you push the -ground away with the ball of your foot Even the toes should contribute to this push -contracting slightly at the end of each step to help propel you forward When the toes and calf -contract the glute should contract at the same time -FF -YA -Illustration Depiction of glidewalking -Arm swing is another essential biomechanical component of efficient walking People -reduce arm swing to display subordination but you should swing your arms blithely whenever -you are walking As you do it ensure that your shoulders are pressed toward the floor These -elements of proper walking take time to develop but once they are automatic they will help -you burn calories and build muscle -Pay special attention to the way you kick your foot forward with each step Rather than -being smooth and graceful it is likely a violent jerk This is a major cause of knee pain You can -address it by consciously attending to the jarring motion and making an effort to transform it -into a gentle velvety one Strolling very slowly helps build the coordination needed As in tai -chi slow everything down and pay attention to the fluidity of each movement You are going to -look weird walking around your block in slow motion instituting these exercises Getting -yourself to stop worrying about how others will perceive you will be an accomplishment -in itself -Your routines eg walking cannot be efficient unless their component subroutines -eg extending the ankle knee and hip are optimal themselves You might feel uncoordinated -when you start to slow things down and focus on the individual parts of each action Thats -totally normal You have thousands of steps to take every day likely for the rest of your life -so you want to reengineer them to be as efficient as possible Relearn how to complete the -smallest motor movements in ways that dont use anxiety for propulsion Insteadglide -This goes for writing speaking typing opening a door handing an object to someone -and everything else imaginable -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Conserve Your Momentum While Walking -Whenever you are walking you should be taking full advantage of your bodys forward energy -Most people walk without conserving their momentum They break the inertia they have going -with each indecisive stride Poorly timed foot falls eat up their speed slow them down -and create a bumpy ride Take some time to analyze how you lose momentum in your default -walking pattern -Each foot plant should not be a collision but rather a brief foothold to push off against -Rolling down your foot from heel to toes will help with this Also use the proprioceptive -sensors throughout your knees and ankles to help you determine how much momentum from -the last step can be reused in the next surefooted step Placing your foot too far in front of the -body known as overstriding is one of the most common mistakes people make when walking -It breaks up your glide Understriding is also common So pay careful attention to the fluidity -created by stride length and try to optimize it -Dont second guess a single step Conserving your momentum will turn your stride into a -buoyant saunter and override any hesitancies deriving from submissive signaling Done right -you should feel like a freight train Allay any worries that people will think that you are walking -in an aggressive angry way It is not angry at all It is merely efficient -Dont hobble Coast Set sail on your own momentum and ride like the wind -Conclusion -Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet Thich Nhat Hanh -It is worth mentioning that there are many ways to multitask while walking Walking with other -people is a great way to bond You can help each other to develop mutually assertive outof -doors powerwalking body language Instead of taking your phone calls in bed or on the couch -take them as you parade around your neighborhood A headset with a microphone or a -Bluetooth earphone can make this easier You can also turn your time walking into an -opportunity for learning if you decide to listen to audiobooks using headphones Additionally -you can use the act of walking to create a breathing metronome For instance often inhale -for five steps and then exhale for eight Otherwise walking can be an opportune time to take -in nature meditate live in the moment practice mindfulness and create a new -improved persona -Chapter Use Optimal Posture and Antirigidity While Walking -Chapter Bullet Points -e Walking is highly health promoting -e Maintain the five tenets of optimal posture while walking -e Strut and swagger while you walk to build confidence -e Walk with exaggerated soliderlike posture for two minutes until the muscles involved -reach a healthy fatigue Then allow the muscles at least a minute to rest completely -before repeating -e Perform upperbody antirigidity while you walk by moving your arms shoulders and -back through different unfamiliar configurations -e Walking regularly with your hands in the air and the neck retracted will help put your -cervical and thoracic spine into optimal configuration -When you walk for prolonged periods take breaks to allow your muscles to regenerate -When you break from walking refresh your muscles by squatting lunging and touching -your toes This will bring fresh blood to spinal sections that have become stale -e Practice glidewalking where the glute calf and toes of the back leg are fully deployed -with every step -e Walk with both feet pointing straight ahead -e Capture the remaining momentum from each stride so that it can be applied to -the next -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Lee M Shiroma E J Kamada M Association of step volume and intensity -with allcause mortality in older women JAMA Internal Medicine -Ritchiea M B Blais J Forth A Evil intentions Examining the relationship -between the Dark Tetrad and victim selection based on nonverbal gait cues Personality and -Individual Differences -Michalak J Troje N F Fischer J Vollmar P Heidenreich T Schulte D -Embodiment of sadness and depression Gait patterns associated with dysphoric mood -Psychosomatic Medicine -Van Edwards V Captivate The science of succeeding with people -Penguin Random House -Gokhale E Steps to a painfree back Pendo Press -Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior -The desire for sexual expression is inborn and natural The desire cannot and should not be submerged -or eliminated But it should be given an outlet through forms of expression which enrich the body mind -and spirit Napoleon Hill -Sexual Competition and Submission -Aside from humans chimpanzees are often considered the most violent and abusive species -on the planet despite competing for just one resource Ordinarily they do not compete for -food because the fruit and leaves they forage are evenly scattered They compete for sex -and the competition is often violent In most primates dominant males restrict sexual access -to females Nondominant males are thus forced to inhibit their sexuality They are usually -attacked if seen approaching a female for sex and are often forced to either be sneaky or -abstain from sex completely Many primate females are similarly traumatized by sexual -competition -Access to sex is determined by rank in many animals that live in groups This inevitably -leads to stress Status probably also dictated sexual privileges to varying degrees throughout -human history Because our instincts were wired in the past even in modern humans this age -old competition leads to unconscious sexual selfhandicapping By employing the same -rationale and some of the same tools we have discussed thus far this chapter will explain how -to detraumatize your sexuality and pull your genitals out of this melee -Sexual Subordination in Animals -The sexual subordination response isnt just found in primates or mammals There are many -examples in the animal kingdom from vertebrates to invertebrates of dominant individuals -causing the atrophy of reproductive organs in subordinates For example the resident queens -in honeybees termites cockroaches and many other species suppress the ovaries of their -workers In animals from insects to fish the less dominant males create fewer sperm that move -slower If given the opportunity to become dominant many fish can reverse this by increasing -the size of their testes and the count and motility of their sperm in as little as a few days -In mammals especially primates alpha individuals from both genders attempt to -monopolize breeding through intimidation This causes a dramatic decrease in sex hormones in -their targets Chronic intimidation can be so stressful that it impairs subordinates fertility -suppressing the testicular axis in males and halting ovulation in females This is often called -social suppression of reproduction or social contraception There is an entire body of -literature on how conflict in primates creates reproductive disadvantages for the losers -In many monkey species the biggest losers are completely celibate It is common for -dominant males to attack or physically displace a subordinate male in the middle of copulation -preventing them from ejaculating The resulting brain and hormone changes decrease the -quantity and quality of the displaced males sperm Likewise repeated conflict with a dominant -female can cause subordinate females to lose the ability to conceive There is every reason to -believe that similar coercion and physical repercussions are commonplace in human society -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Indeed human infertility and sexual dysfunction are both known by medical researchers to be -highly exacerbated by the stress hormone cortisol -Chronically elevated cortisol levels can cause loss of libido and impotence in men mostly by -inhibiting the production of testosterone In women it can cause severe fertility problems and -result in an abnormal menstrual cycle This antagonism between the cortisol and testosterone -hormonal axes is thought to be adaptive because in emergency situations engaging in behaviors -that are encouraged by testosterone such as mating competition and dominance is -unnecessary and possibly counterproductive -If you put a mouse in a cage with a more dominant mouse its testosterone and fertility will -decline significantly Similarly if you spend time believing that you are inferior or inadequate -your virility will drop We must avoid sexual bullying and stop ourselves from thinking sexually -selfsubordinating thoughts Fortunately the effects of cortisol on testosterone in both men -and women are reversed when the stress goes back down -You dont want your body to assume you are a pathetic monkey trying to sneak copulations -in hiding So you need to send it the right messages You want to develop a mindset of sexual -dominance and disinhibition affirming that you can achieve arousal at any time have sex -anywhere and be in your sexual comfort zone under any social conditionsas long as it is -ethical and legal of course This starts with slowing everything else down and making your -sexual response a priority Just as subordination causes us to ignore our shallow breathing and -protracted neck it also causes us to ignore both the tension and the pleasure in our genitals -The best way to counteract this is to learn to listen to your genitals -Sexual Exercise Listen to the Sensations Coming from Your Genitals -Your genitals are continuously sending you sensory signals about their current state of -arousal Most of us ignore this steady influx of cues leaving us out of tune with our sexuality -Sexual suppression and submission have turned our erogenous zones into blind spots Feeling -good down there is not a sin not a luxury and not something you have to earn It is your -basic right as a mammal and an integral part of dealing with stress If you want to cultivate -your sexual response you must pay attention to any and all pleasurable sensations coming -from in between your legs -Close your eyes and spend five minutes meditating on this area Focus on it completely like -you are watching a movie At first you may not sense much but with time and patience -you will begin to notice faint instances of erogenous squirming and pulsating Indulge them -Learn to revel in them Doing this will help prove to your body that you are a lusty beast -unencumbered by sexual trauma With time practice and the use of the other exercises in -this chapter infrequent tingles and quivers will turn into a steady stream of notsosubtle -heaving and throbbing Monitor your breath while you do this and imagine breathing -straight into your genitals This will help you develop the laser focus necessary to become -reacquainted with the full extent of your aphrodisia -Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior -One of the best ways to improve your awareness of sexual sensations is to stop bracing the -muscles involved This is simply because if they are constantly strained they cannot respond -actively to sexual stimuli There is no throbbing in dormant muscle -Stop Bracing the Muscles Surrounding Your Genitals -Hip or pelvic tension can be a conscious or unconscious attempt to downplay the potency of -the genital region and is yet another form of submissive body language Over time the -formation of dormant muscle leads to withered libido lessened enjoyment of sex and sexual -dysfunction There are other sources of pelvic bracing Falling on the bottom bruising the -tailbone long hours sitting at a desk or a bicycle seat and all types of physical trauma can lead -to tension the area -Pelvic bracing is linked to medical disorders Vaginismus is the involuntary contraction of -muscles that surround the vagina The tight muscles make penetration and intercourse painful -for women with this disorder Bracing may also make it harder for some women to orgasm -For a woman to climax the muscles of her pelvic floor cannot be taut They must relax during -sexual stimulation so that they can contract rhythmically during orgasm Many researchers -believe that various sexual disorders such as male impotence latency to female orgasm and -vulvodynia chronic vulvar pain can be due to excessive bracing of muscles adjacent to the -sexual organs This seems even more likely when you consider that common preceding events -for these disorders include sexual assault rape domestic abuse sexual humiliation chronic -pain and generalized anxiety -It is well known that the blood vessels surrounding the external genitalia constrict during -sympathetic stimulation and dilate upon parasympathetic stimulation This means that blood -flow to the penis clitoris and vulva is impeded by stress and accentuated by relaxation In fact -the pelvic floor is one of the most reactive groups of muscles during startle When it contracts it -results in a retraction of the clitoris for women and the penis for men Relaxation of the -anococcygeal area is thought to be key in improving the sexual arousal response As a matter of -fact engorgement of the penis clitoris and labia results from the relaxation of smooth muscle -In other words blood doesnt flow until these unconsciously regulated muscles loosen up -Sexual Activity Brace and Debrace Your Pelvic Muscles -How do stress and intimidation affect the bracing of the muscles around your genitals Most -people could not answer this because they have little to no awareness of this common -reaction Lets try bracing them to see how it feels Tighten the muscles in your lower back -Tilt your hips to one side and brace them Squeeze your legs together Tighten your urinary -sphincter as if you were trying to stop yourself from peeing Now contract all these muscles -and anything else local you can find at of their maximum strength After seconds -let go entirely and register what it feels like to let the bracing here subside Repeat this -contraction and relaxation four more times -We signal sexual submission by straining sexrelated muscles in the abdomen and pelvis -These muscles lose their healthy tone after sexual trauma or feelings of sexual inferiority -Thankfully like all muscles you can rehabilitate them Most people have an untapped reservoir -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -of muscle in the groin that has atrophied The next two sections will show you how to exercise -and strengthen it believe proper tone in these muscles allows the genitals increased vascular -blood flow vasocongestion increases the prominence of arousal and heightens the -accompanying sensations -Exercise Your Urine Retentive Muscles -You have numerous muscles situated between your sitz bones pubic bone and coccyx These -muscles support the pelvic organs contract during orgasm aid in childbirth and ejaculation -and provide core stability -Abdominal -Muscle -Rectum -Coccyx Pubic Bone -Bladder -Urethra -Anus -Pelvic Floor Vagina -Muscles -Illustration A Side view of female reproductive anatomy Note the location of the pelvic floor muscles -stretching from the pubic bone to the tail bone coccyx B Frontal view of the pelvic floor musculature which is -similar in women and men Several pelvic muscles are depicted including the ischiocavernosus bulbospongiosus -coccygeus pubococcygeus the urogenital diaphragm and others -In the s Dr Arnold Kegel taught people how to strengthen the perineum the area -between the anus and the genitals He knew that these muscles are often injured in women -during childbirth and he instructed women how to contract them reinstating their strength -in an exercise that came to be known as Kegels Doctors have prescribed Kegels for many -reasons including treating urinary incontinence ameliorating erectile dysfunction and -controlling premature ejaculation Kegels are taught by having the patient repeatedly interrupt -their urinary flow Dr Kegel recommended urinating a spoonful at a time Try this in the -activity below -Sexual Activity Contracting the Urinary Sphincter -The next time you find yourself peeing stop urinating midstream Once you can stop the flow -completely you have found the right muscles Try urinating for only a second at a time until -you have voided your bladder Focus on tightening only the pelvic floor muscles keeping the -abdomen thighs anus and buttocks relaxed This will allow you to isolate the contraction -Doing this several times will help you identify the muscles and gain conscious control of -them At that point you should do this exercise without urinating and from any position -you want -Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior -Most of us learned to brace the Kegel muscles intensely as young children when -holding it for long periods to avoid the embarrassing experience of urinating in public -Can you remember an incident in which this muscle was likely traumatized by being braced -heavily during the traumatic scenario of trying desperately to find a bathroom as a child -Not only do the muscles surrounding the genitals seize up in these scenarios but distressed -breathing predominates making the strain worse Most people have a strong tendency to hold -their breath when performing Kegels and of course this defeats the purpose Therefore -recommend pairing Kegels with paced breathing -Sexual Exercise Diaphragmatic Kegels -Perform hard Kegel contractions as if you were interrupting the stream of urine Do this while -paced breathing This will build your capacity to activate the pelvic floor muscles without -holding your breath Hold a forceful contraction during a second passive exhalation and -then relax for a few breaths Do this times in a row You might also try performing rapid -Kegels ie one to three per second for a minute -These muscles contract involuntarily during arousal and orgasm So loosening them up and -developing their responsivity may enliven your sex life Also after developing the muscular -strength that comes from pelvic floor exercises men can perform a Kegel at orgasm to -withhold ejaculation effectively allowing them to experience multiple orgasms also believe -that strengthening and unbracing these muscles can facilitate female ejaculation and -squirting -The next section will provide you with an exercise that will dilate these areas rather than -constrict them In a previous chapter we learned how important it is to perform forward bends -after backward bends to neutralize the spine believe that performing Kegels without -exercising the antagonist muscles leads to similar imbalances For example there is evidence -that performing Kegels can lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder and this is a risk factor -for urinary tract infection and other maladies As you might have guessed the counterpose for -a Kegel is complete bladder emptying -Exercise the Muscles that Expel Urine -Interestingly the Kegel contraction is braced involuntarily during social competition -Kegels result in a retraction of the clitoris penis and testicles potentially making them less -conspicuous to a competitor believe that in this they are submissive and intended to hide -the genitalia It is like the sea slug withdrawing its gill or the snail withdrawing its eyestalk -Male monkeys and apes are frequently observed hiding their erections from other males -especially from males above them in the hierarchy They dont want to be attacked for being -aroused This is why think genital retraction due to chronic Kegel contraction is an innate -defense mechanism protecting subordinates from sexually dominant individuals It is yet -another display equivalent to a collapsed posture believe that losing tone and developing -partial contraction in the pelvic region is a selfhandicapping mechanism that assumes -advertising ones level of sexual arousal is dangerous -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -If you have balanced tone in your pelvic muscles your flaccid penis or clitoris will increase -and decrease in size with your arousal level If you have strain or poor tone the flaccid organ -may remain at its smallest possible size until full arousal is reached Most people are aware that -the penis and clitoris shrink in size when exposed to cold In fact penile length decreases by up -to in the defensive response to low temperature believe men with a history of chronic -intimidation and sexual subordination are more likely to exhibit this kind of shrinkage when -flaccid This likely corresponds to the grower vs shower dichotomy referenced in popular -culture The growers may be men with a more extensive history of being sexually intimidated -This may be reversible by performing the opposite of the Kegel -It is easy for both women and men to pinpoint the muscles that expel urine They speed up -the stream These muscles include the lower abdominal muscles and the bladder detrusor -muscle They aid in the expulsion of urine by increasing the pressure applied to the bladder -wall The stream of urine will cease when the bladder has been voided but the muscles -themselves can still be contracted If you continue to squeeze the expulsive muscles very firmly -after you finish urinating you will realize you can flex these muscles through their full range -Most people never use this full range creating a missing corner of dormant muscle -Thus it is also a reservoir that you can tap into and rehab Think of the exercise as an -antikegel As we have seen in previous chapters sometimes the only way to free muscles -from partial contraction is through hard full contractions -Sexual Exercise Contract the Expulsive Muscles -The next time you urinate try to expel the urine more forcefully than usual Steadily increase -the force as you empty your bladder As it nears empty do not let up Instead squeeze the -related muscles hard even after the stream stops Notice the posture that your lower back -and lower abdomen have taken on and remember the feeling of contracting this muscle so -that you can do it later After you have emptied your bladder continue to squeeze the -muscle at to maximum force for an additional seconds It may ache tenderly -but performing this exercise each time you urinate will make this aching disappear within a -matter of days -Start practicing it away from the toilet as well You should feel comfortable performing the -Kegel and antiKegel contractions in the presence of others There is no reason to brace or -selflimit your pelvic range just because other people are around To really stimulate these -erogenous areas and all the tissues and blood vessels involved you can also try gently -performing Kegels and antiKegels while you have an erection whether clitoral or penile -Together these exercises will help put an end to neurotic pelvic flinching and straining -Urine Expulsion as a Posture and Mindset -You want to incorporate proper tone in these urineexpelling muscles into your daily standing -walking and sitting postures The muscles involved include the lower abdominals so imagine -being able to take a small punch to the lowest segment of your abs at any time This means you -need to practice walking around with your lower abs engaged as if you were peeing want to -Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior -encourage you to walk jog exercise and socialize as if you are dribbling urine everywhere -you go -Listen intently to the sensations involved It should feel pleasurable Imagine spurting -rainbows and gushing warm velvet from your urethra onto everything in front of you -Experience everything orgasmically This should be happening as you look at yourself in the -mirror as you walk around the block and as you squeeze in that last repetition while -exercising Imagine that your genitals are permanently everted rather than inverted As you -strengthen the retentive and expulsive muscles muscle memory will develop and they -will come to hold balanced tone automatically believe this is highly beneficial for -psychosexual health -suppressed these muscles during my lifetime through acquiescent selfhandicapping -behavior have always been averse to dirty jokes and overt sex play which may have led to -less sexualized perineal posture growing up believe that unconsciously allowed my Kegel -muscles to strain and my expulsive muscles to atrophy because was sexually repressive and -analretentive Again the expulsive urinary and anal sphincter muscles work antagonistically -with the retentive muscles meaning that expulsive qualities may be especially weak in -retentive people If you think that you may be analretentive you are probably also urinary -retentive While we are talking about poop please ask yourself whether combining distressed -breathing while straining on the toilet seat during defecation may have traumatized your anal -muscles If so you might consider using paced breathing while defecating when constipated -and while contracting the anal retentive and expulsive muscles -Strengthening the muscles involved in expelling urine will make your behavior more -assertive Activity and tone in this area are associated with approach and the seizing of -opportunities that are both sexual and nonsexual in nature It is difficult to maintain a -dominant selfassured demeanor if the tone in the expulsive muscles is low You have probably -noticed that worry or sudden fear makes your retentive muscles tense and the expulsive ones -limp Similarly encountering something sharp or experiencing fear of heights does this as well -For example peering over the ledge from the Sth floor of a parking structure can make your -whole pelvis seize up This happens immediately and involuntarily during startle and fright -Your pelvic floor recoils from threat -When you take an ego blow or get upset or flustered the muscles that expel urine similarly -drop out of flexion If your machismo is questioned but you have the gumption to reassert -yourself you might notice the activity waiver and come back Activity here shrivels up when -people get their balls busted For many depressed and anxious people these muscles drop -out of tonicity during social encounters For sexually assertive people the expulsive -musculature develops a stronger tone when around others they find attractive For sexually -withdrawn people the tone may actually decrease in these situations Losing tone and -accumulating strain in these muscles leads to emasculation andor defeminization -When first started to engage the muscles that expel urine would become afraid of -upsetting the bully introduced in Chapter realized that was afraid to engage the muscles -even when he was not around When tried thoughts visuals and a feeling of being in the -bullys presence would intrude into my mind unconsciously It took me some time to realize -that was bracing these muscles in a restricted range out of fear of offending the bully -This bully was muscular highly charismatic a felon and a murderer On one occasion had -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -seen him continue to make fun of and laugh at someone even after that person pulled a gun on -him As many bullies do he would frequently tell sexually explicit stories describing his sexual -prowess in attempts to intimidate other men This is one of the fundamental forms that sexual -toxicity takes -The man had acquired pseudopsychopathy meaning he had developed criminal -antisocial and hypersexual personality traits after severe brain trauma He was catastrophically -disinhibited after being fully ejected headfirst through the windshields of two cars he stole on -separate occasions was subverting my sexuality in an attempt to appease this man Simply -becoming explicitly aware of this subversion was enough to end it After bringing peace to this -context realized that there were additional contexts that caused me to brace my genital -musculature What contexts of intimidation sting you in the genitals and keep you stuck ina -partially contracted Kegel Dont let anyone keep you in a retentive state in which the genitals -are retracted or keep you from contracting your expulsive muscles Rather than being held taut -in a restricted range these muscles should fluctuate naturally between the two extremes of -retention and expulsion as you go about your day -Once you become comfortable fully contracting the muscles that withhold and expel urine -you should notice them quiver involuntarily more frequently Toning the muscles and stretching -them out of partial contraction will increase the range of motion of your orgasms You may also -notice that you experience increased blood flow and heightened turgidity in your genitals This -suggests to me that formal physical therapy centered around exercising these muscles could -treat both diminished sex drive and erectile dysfunction However most medical experts on the -topic assume that these muscles operate autonomously and neednt be exercised -This medical opinion is at odds with Ayurvedic medicine and tantric Hinduism which -recognize the base of the spine as a chakra It is called muladhara the root chakra and -kundalini yoga emphasizes that it must be used and meditated upon Additionally some -Japanese Zen meditation practices emphasize the lower abdominal area dantian or tanden as -a focal point for meditation believe the exercises in this chapter can guide you to exert -control over and rehabilitate these foci -At one point realized lacked the coordination to contract my urinary expulsive muscles -and gluteus muscles simultaneously When tried held my breath Many people have this -functional dissociation When these are dissociated you are limited to either doing one or the -other However it is easy to fix Proper core stability demands that you be able to contract -these muscles together actively Everyone should teach their body to activate both the urinary -and fecal expulsive muscles while simultaneously contracting their buttocks -Sexual Activity Pairing Expulsive Tone with Gluteal Tone -Stand with optimal posture as described in Chapter With your feet parallel and the top -of your hips rolled backward contract the gluteus muscles Now contract either your urinary -or fecal expulsive muscles as if you were trying to pee or defecate Now try all three together -Spend time in this zone varying these contractions to different degrees while engaging in -calm paced breathing -Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior -As with many other examples in the Program Peace system if holding two dominant -displays simultaneously is uncomfortable or difficult they likely inhibit each other However -if you can calmly practice them together you disinhibit them and increase the probability they -will arise together on their own -Walk Confidently as if Your Genitals Were on Display -In Chapter we discussed how submissive animals minimize the appearance of physical assets -like horns claws and muscles This includes the genitals Your everyday posture and -mannerisms reveal cues to others as to how comfortable you are naked Body language evolved -during our history as unclothed apes so even clothed we often act as if we were naked Most -people conceal their genitals during times of insecurity with their hands legs chairs or tables -When a dominant person makes a power play it is quite common for other people of the same -sex to place their hands in front of their sex organs The only time you should conceal or protect -the genitals is to block a physical blow to the groin -Most people walk in a way that hides or apologizes for their genitalia Walking like this -involves hunching or crouching of the lower back Remember the lumbar lordosis and anterior -pelvic tilt discussed in previous chapters We actually use these to withdraw our private parts -from view They obscure the genitals like a dog hiding its tail between its legs You should do -the exact opposite This means walking around with the back and hips open as if presenting the -genitalia To do this flex your buttocks Thats right gluteal contraction puts your genitals on -display by pressing your hips forward and rolling the top of your pelvis back as discussed in -Chapter It is an entirely different style of standing and walking that comes across as much -more sexually selfassured -If you can imagine being comfortably naked in social situations you will project higher -confidence The more time you spend naked the more comfortable it will become which is -why strongly recommend sleeping naked when possible If you have never slept naked you -may lose some sleep the first night because of how uncomfortable you feel But you will relax -into it within a week also recommend spending time alone in your room in the buff as -described next -Sexual Activity Spend an Hour in Your Room Naked -Make sure no one can see into your room and you wont be disturbed Lock the door -Completely disrobe Place towels underneath you if uncomfortable sitting on the floor naked -Spend a full hour reading watching TV meditating whatever you want completely naked It -can help to have a mirror in front of you Use optimal posture Once you become -comfortable try talking on the phone How do you hold your body when completely nude -Do you tend to cover up or hide your genitalia Is your posture retentive or expulsive Notice -these tendencies change as you become comfortable Experiment with pushing your pelvis -out contracting your glutes and spreading your legs in different ways If performed with -paced breathing this activity will transform your relationship with your birthday suit -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Masturbation Trauma -Most of us were petitioned by our parents at a very young age to stop touching our genitals in -the company of others We learned to feel bad for stimulating the area resulting in a subtle -form of trauma recommend briefly touching yourself in a sexualaffectionate way at least five -times a day This can be a graze stroke or reassuring grope Some people already do this -regularly To others it is very foreign You can do it alone or discretely in public Even a second -of selfcomforting can help decrease bracing of the pelvic floor -used to worry that frequent masturbation could cause specific forms of cancer until used -pubmedcom to look at the actual medical studies It does not There are no diseases linked to -masturbation So give yourself carte blanche to be completely selfindulgent However there -are a few important caveats to keep in mind Masturbating to pornography may desensitize you -to real people potentially leading to sexual dysfunction Also masturbating with a lubricant can -make it difficult for men to sustain an erection with a condom Also consider masturbating -while standing up to avoid losing the ability to remain aroused while standing Definitely -consider masturbating while paced breathing For some people it takes time and work merely -to reach arousal while paced breathing But the process will steel and gird your sexuality -Studies have shown that placing tiny vibrators near or on the genitals of mice can increase -sexual response interest and the production of sex hormones Studies like these suggest that -the external use of vibrators may convince the mammalian body that it resides in some kind of -maximally optimal sexual environment and may in turn elicit an optimal sexual response from it -involving changes in gene expression Keep in mind though that masturbating to orgasm with -some sex toys may make it difficult to sustain arousal during regular intercourse -The fascia and muscles nestled in the pelvis control the responsivity of sexual arousal -Massage and myofascial release are probably beneficial for these muscles however there is no -existing rubric to help people do this safely and effectively Moreover excessive pressure could -damage your sexual organs or drastically change the tone of the muscles that regulate blood -flow to them For these reasons will not describe a protocol for genital massage here If you -decide to use compressive massage on the areas between your legs recommend using only -very light pressure That being said you should also find that groin stretching and antirigidity -can be helpful in conditioning these muscles -Sexual Expressivity -The antirigidity exercises for the lumbar spine from Chapter will help free up your hips and -lower back making your sexual expressivity more sensual and enjoyable Try to incorporate -previously dormant muscles into intercourse and use them to explore new movement patterns -Use the next two activities to enhance the coordination of the muscles and joints involved -Sexual Activity Bump Your Pubis Against the Wall -Find some privacy and turn on some sexy music Stand with your feet shoulderwidth apart -and your toes touching a wall Press your pubic bone into the wall to the beat of the music -You can bump against it like a bouncing basketball or smear yourself into it with each thrust -Contract your buttocks firmly as you advance Vary the curvature of your lower back the -distance between your feet and the placement of each blow against the wall -Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior -After a few sessions you will develop the coordination to turn it into a dance You can move -each advance from left to right or from top to bottom Doing this against a door jamb can -give you the leg room you need to bend your knees and drop lower You can also try this -exercise by bumping your butt against the wall instead of your pubis Bang everything from -your pubic bone to your hips your sacrum to your sitz bones into the brick wood or plaster -Focus on rhythm timing and bravado -Good sex should provide a massage to the pubic bone and the muscles that surround it -for both partners The friction between your pubic hair and your partners should make -rhythmic crackling sounds Pubicboneonpubicbone massage increases arousal and is one of -the best ways to stimulate the clitoris Just like the muscles in our lower backs muscles that -surround the pubic bone can take the form of tense cords that form tense cords Teaching -yourself to massage them during the act of sex along with those of the other person can be -very sexually empowering -Sexual Activity Hump Your Pillows to Music -Put on some music or a music video Stack pillows on your bed to support your pelvis in -different sexual positions You can straddle these pillows kneel squat or lie on top of them -You can also fold a pillow over a couple of times to make a hard raised surface to nestle your -pubic bone up against As you explore different arrangements lean your pubic bone into the -pillows from different angles -While propped on the pillows simulate sexual thrusting grinding and gyrating movements -to the beat of the music for an entire song Experiment with reciprocal and circular thrusting -in different planes Think heaving stirring twerking screwing wiggling drilling pounding -and tapping Experiment with flair and ostentatious movements that you are normally too -inhibited to try This is your chance to have fun and attempt the different positions and -moves youve always wanted to Practice full lumbar lordosis on the upswing from there -transition gradually into full lumbar kyphosis by the end of the downswing and back again -over and over You might also look into incorporating a dance move called the body roll -See yourself as a sex machine or a sensuous captivating performance artist Create a safe -environment for you to practice and master dominant freeflowing rhythmic and -unhesitating sexual maneuvers Feel unhurried with no external pressures and no time -constraints Absorb yourself in the carnality of the experience without any fear of failure You -will quickly become more confident in your ability to deliver your pelvis fluidly -You may want to consider extending the amount of time you spend near orgasm by -deliberately delaying it This is known as edging or orgasm control Whether practiced alone -or with a partner the idea is to maintain a high degree of sexual arousal for a prolonged period -before climaxing The critical technique consists in building toward orgasm and then before it -is reached reducing the level of stimulation to retain arousal but delay the orgasm Modulating -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -the pace and pressure in this way can result in remaining near orgasm in a highly aroused state -for several minutes at a time When the decision is made to permit the orgasm to occur the -sensations involved may be amplified There is good reason to believe that extended periods -of heightened sexual arousal could lead to several benefits such as profound partner bonding -and higher concentrations of stressrelieving neurochemicals and sex hormones Obviously -this technique is the polar opposite of what a submissive monkey sneaking copulation does -Take your sweet time during sex Survey probe and investigate your sensual side because the -more you use it the less you will lose it -Conclusions -After being stuck in a lowlevel anxiety attack for years at age decided to see an -endocrinologist and have a blood panel taken The doctor said that the most apparent result -from the panel was very low testosterone Usually this problem worsens with time But over a -decade later my blood panels show that my testosterone is back in the normal range -attribute this recovery to the farreaching benefits of diaphragmatic breathing and the -Program Peace exercises especially those in this chapter -Many scientists concur that a satisfying sex life may be as important as diet and exercise in -promoting health However our culture steals our sexuality from us by making us feel sexually -incomplete Due to our infatuation with status people willingly expose themselves to things -that make them question their social standing Similarly our instincts for sexual competition -cause us to choose to expose ourselves to experiences and thoughts that question our sexual -standing For this reason marketers and modern media inundate us with content that makes us -feel sexually inferior and that anything less than human perfection is shameful This not only -makes us feel inadequate but also makes us feel like our partners are inadequate -Television advertising raunchy comedians photo doctoring on social media the ubiquity -of unrealistic pornography a lovers thoughtless criticism and the occasional sexual failure -have given all of us sexual inferiority complexes Most people feel that their sexual endowment -or bedroom proficiency doesnt measure up or that their body is not conventionally attractive -enough It is not your responsibility to brood on these things Get over any inclination you may -have to ruminate about how you compare to your partners previous lovers the times you have -been sexually embarrassed or what it was like to be cheated on These thoughts trigger our -hardwired sexual selfhandicapping response When we dwell on our shortcomings we -reinforce this response This eventually robs us of our ability to feel horny and relish erotic -experiences Sexual jealousy and worrying cause us to suppress our sex drive brace our -perineal muscles and start down an early road to sexual decline This can be enough to push -minor penile or clitoral erectile issues into fullblown sexual dysfunction Do not let this -happen to you -You have nothing NOTHING to feel bad about sexually as long as you treat your partner -with affection have good intentions and are driven to become a better lover Sex should be -hedonistic fun playful and flirtatious without hangups insecurities or selfdoubts See -yourself exuding sensuality and sex appeal View you and your partner as sexual Olympians -Follow behind them in the market or the mall staring at their butt thinking about how you love -them and lusting after their private parts as you contract those urinary expulsion muscles -Dont let anything undermine your sexuality Listen to it Own it Magnify it Celebrate it -Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior -Chapter Bullet Points -e Primates are violently sexually competitive causing all but the most dominant -individuals to become sexually submissive -e Most people have a submissive urogenital posture secondary to suboptimal responses -to sexual bullying -e Sexual submission involves pelvic floor bracing which is related to sexual dysfunction -and the regression of psychosexual development -e Pairing diaphragmatic breathing with exercising both the urinary retention and -expulsion muscles can rehabilitate your pelvic floor -e Spend time focusing on the physical sensations emanating from your genitals and touch -them in affectionate and reassuring ways to reduce bracing -e When alone spend time naked When in public pretend that you are both naked and -comfortable -e Whether you are nude or clothed flex your buttocks push your hips forward roll the -top of your pelvis backward and otherwise use your body language to show that you -are proud to have your genitals on display -e Dont obsess over perceived physical or performance inadequacies -e Get people and media that are toxic to your sexuality out of your life -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great -game of life Academic Press -Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science -Whatmore G B Kohli D R Dysponesis A neurophysiological factor in -functional disorders Systems Research and Behavioral Science -Dumoulin C HaySmith J Pelvic floor muscle training versus no treatment -or inactive control treatments for urinary incontinence in women The Cochrane Database of -Systematic Reviews CD -Dorey G Speakman M J Feneley R C L Swinkels A Dunn C D R Pelvic floor -exercises for erectile dysfunction BJU International -La Pera G Nicastro A A new treatment for premature ejaculation The -rehabilitation of the pelvic floor Journal of Sex Marital Therapy -Vopni K Your pelvic floor the inside story Education wisdom from pelvic health -professionals across the globe Pelvienne Wellness -Bodansky S Bodansky V Extended massive orgasm How you can give and -receive intense sexual pleasure Vermilion -Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns -Eat food Not too much Mostly plants Michael Pollan -If a pack of wolves kills a deer the leader gets the choice cuts before the pack shares the rest in -an egalitarian way They eat until the entire deer is gone because they dont know when there -will be another Likewise for much of our huntergatherer past food was not guaranteed -Thus when we encountered a glut we would gorge ourselves There was no benefit to limiting -food intake because an excess of stored calories was necessary to survive periods of famine -The constant hunger drive was a survival mechanism The same goes for our drive to minimize -energy expenditure The less movement you made the more calories you conserved This is -why today some of us have the inclination to be insatiable couch potatoes In our modern -world these adaptive traits are no longer beneficial Instead they have made us susceptible to -obesity and related ailments including diabetes hypertension and cardiovascular disease -Rats with a perpetually full food dish that are allowed to selfregulate their own food -intake become rotund They eat as much as they want engaging in hedonic hyperphagia -This is food intake motivated by pleasure and independent of hunger Overfeeding in this way -causes them to suffer from metabolic diseases and cancers These rats die much younger than -rats fed appropriate portions You and are domestic mammals that are allowed to feed -ourselves ad libitum World obesity statistics demonstrate that humans are not doing so well -given these liberties Unlike rats we can selfimpose limitations on our eating This can be -difficult but we need to do so if we want to stay healthy Of course it is not only how much -we eat but also what we eat that makes a difference -Sometimes an evolved mechanism becomes a liability once certain features of the -environment change For instance many animals eat brightly colored trash because their -visual perception of it excites appetitive circuits in their brains Animals regularly die from such -misplaced instincts and due to the modern food industry so do we Favoring sweet salty -fatty foods was necessary for the survival of prehistoric humans Hence our taste receptors -make us crave sugar sodium and fat Given the glut of hyperpalatable food options today -this adaptation has backfired -Our bodies produce feelgood chemicals when we consume tasty food and when our -stomachs are full These chemicals reduce bodily pain stress hormones and the activation of -the fight or flight system The transient alleviation of stress influences us to adopt unhealthy -eating habits On the other hand trying to force ourselves to eat less and eat healthy can -promote stress In this chapter we will discuss some effective solutions for how you can keep -weight off without contributing to stress -Calorie and Nutrient Density -Worthless people live only to eat and drink people of worth eat and drink only to live Socrates BCE BCE -Scientists estimate that of the pets in the US are overweight Even a little extra weight in -our pets reduces their health lifespan mobility and playtime My cat Niko used to be -overweight Feeding him less wasnt working He would just cry in desperation until gave him -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -more food The solution was feeding him the least caloric cat food on the market Now he still -eats the same volume of food so he is just as satisfied However because his food has less fat -and fewer calories he is now slim This solution works just as well for you and me -Energy density is the number of calories energy in a given amount volume of food It is -often measured in calories per cup Most of us eat lots of heavily processed and refined food -which are very energy dense The problem is if you fill your stomach with it you will have far -exceeded your healthy calorie limit Now if you eat proportionately less of it you will still be -hungry The solution is to eat decentsized portions of less caloriedense food Foods that are -low in calorie density but high in nutrient density include fruit and vegetables lean meat fat -free dairy and whole grains Consider for instance that a large gram strawberry has six -calories but a small gram chocolate chip cookie has calories -Studies show that people tend to eat about the same overall weight of food everyday -regardless of the number of calories it contains This means that adding low calorie density -foods to your meals will allow you to feel perfectly full on fewer calories Additionally because -they are less addictive than food containing additives like soda chips fast food and candy you -are less likely to overeat -Most mammals will eat more when palatable food is readily available Hyperpalatable food -is rare in the wild but is commonly eaten by domestic animals For instance mice and rats have -a strong preference for potato chips over their standard foods Like us their pleasure system -drives them to make unhealthy choices And if they are allowed to live on potato chips they -will consume a larger volume of food The tastier the food you keep in your fridge and pantry -the more you will be tempted to gorge yourself on it -If you can convince yourself to buy less palatable and more nutrient dense food you will -naturally be less likely to overeat You may even find that you have no interest in continuing to -eat bland food on a full stomach This will ensure that you eat to reduce hunger rather than -maximize pleasure Start with your morning routine If you can eat a lowfat lowsugar high -fiber cereal you will be off to a great start Consider adding some fruit to reward yourself and -increase the volume of what youre eating Fruits and vegetables are the ultimate choices for -lowcalorie density but high nutrient density -Keep telling yourself If Im not hungry enough to eat healthily must not really be that -hungry Eating bland healthy food sounds like a chore but the good news is that you get used -to it My cat didnt like the diet cat food at first but within a month he preferred it You should -similarly find yourself developing a preference for healthy food after intentionally exposing -yourself to it The more fruit and vegetables you eat the more youll know which ones you like -and in which combinations After a while the prospect of your favorites will make you salivate -When eat fruit or vegetables often pretend that just found dug up or picked them myself -This makes me savor the taste even more After eating healthy for a while many people find -going back to junk food to be revolting did -Getting Full on Fruit and Vegetables Will Trick Your Body into Liking Them -In all our heads there is a spoiled little prince or princess who wants each bite to be as delicious -as possible Their sense of entitlement is the reason we eat so terribly Banish them Eating is -not about delighting our taste buds It is about getting essential nutrients while barring -unhealthy foods access to the interior of our bodies However many people find that they have -Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns -no appetite for healthy food This makes it difficult to get started If this sounds like you ask -yourself whether you have ever gotten full on unprocessed food alone Having only fruit for -dinner sounds like a nightmare to many people But this is only because they have never -tried it -was pressed for time one day searching for a lunch could take on a long drive The most -accessible items in the market were two bananas and a carton of strawberries realized that it -would take up about as much room in my stomach as a burger and fries so that was all ate -tried to enjoy it didnt eat anything else after that meal and didnt give it much thought -That simple experience transformed my perspective on strawberries and bananas because -used them by themselves to get full for the first time -Your guts nervous system works in sync with several unconscious areas in your brain -constantly learning about factors related to appetite and feeling satiated Once you get full on -something without getting sick your body unconsciously learns to trust it Even your conscious -feelings about that food can change Why do you think chimps salivate at the prospect of a -mouthful of insects leaves or bark It is because they have gotten full on them before -Healthy Weight Exercise Get Full on Fruit or Vegetables -Plan a meal entirely composed of raw fruit Eat until you are full and dont eat again until the -next meal Afterward focus on the feeling of satisfaction Over the next few days notice how -this experience has changed your orientation toward fruit Next time try this with -vegetables then a combination of both -The exercise above will help you learn to crave nutritious fruit and vegetables The first few -times you might feel queasy or nauseous but this will pass You may notice changes after a -single meal or it may take several sessions but you will find that simply getting full on healthy -food is a failsafe way to trick your body into trusting and enjoying it This will set you on a path -toward following the USDAs evidencebased recommendation to make half of each meal fruits -and vegetables This is in my opinion by far the best recommendation offered by nutritional -science today -Do you know that piercing hunger that drives you to eat things that are unhealthy Instead -of addressing it with fast food eradicate it with fruit and vegetables Snack on grapes nuts -pears peaches seeds dried fruit and sugarfree trail mix Dip broccoli celery cucumber slices -snow peas green beans and carrots in hummus Cut raw tomatoes avocacos tangerines or -mangos into your meals Cook legumes corn onion garlic cherries mushrooms or chilies in -with your rice or pasta Place dried cranberries olives spinach sundried tomatoes figs and -apple slices in your sandwiches Add blueberries melons plums mangos guavas and papayas -to your breakfast Use asparagus sweet potatoes beets cauliflower and eggplant as sides to -your entrees When you feel like grazing graze on natures superfoods and after a while you -may be surprised to find how they can better gratify your hunger -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Make half of each meal fruits and vegetables -Eating plants is more convenient than you might think If the grocery store near you has -a salad bar skip the lettuce and fill your bowl with precut fruit vegetables lean meats -and lowcalorie dressing Most grocery stores convenience stores and bigbox retailers carry -freshcut fruit and vegetables to go Consider taking advantage of this If you want to save -money and eat inexpensively you can cut them yourself Eating several servings of fruit and -vegetables daily will help you to get lean fast and get all the vitamins minerals antioxidants -and fiber you need -Make a Smoothie Every Day -Preparing fruit and vegetables yourself can be timeconsuming Cutting them into bitesized -portions and then chewing them takes time However because fruit and vegetables turn to -liquid in a blender you can drink large quantities in seconds Smoothies shakes and liquid -meals are much easier for your gut to process and decrease the physical effort of digestion -which some scientists believe may prolong lifespan Also the bioavailability of liquid meals is -higher meaning your body absorbs more nutrients Furthermore blending fruit and vegetables -does not reduce their fiber or vitamin content -With your fruit smoothies try adding dates yogurt almond milk cashews walnuts vanilla -extract honey and ripe frozen bananas With your vegetable smoothies try tomato juice -cayenne pepper chili flakes lemon lime onion or garlic A daily fruit or vegetable smoothie is -an easy cheap filling and extremely healthy meal -Get Your Essential Vitamins and Nutrients -A diet lacking in certain vitamins can contribute to depression and anxiety Folic acid iron -omega vitamin B magnesium vitamin C vitamin D selenium and zinc are all essential -Deficiencies in these can result in fatigue irritability apathy poor concentration -aggressiveness mood swings and increased depressive symptoms This is another reason -why its imperative to eat more of those fruits and vegetables -Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns -Cut out Saturated Fats -Try not to eat any fats that are solid at room temperature These are saturated fats and -consuming them leads to high cholesterol clogged arteries atherosclerosis and heart disease -Much of the saturated fats we ingest come from just a few culprits You should seriously -consider minimizing pure animal fat processed meat poultry skin whole milk heavy cream -highfat cheese sour cream lard butter margarine ghee tropical oils and mayonnaise in your -diet Avoid fullfat dairy and go for the fatfree variety Cut the white or clear fat off your meat -and stay away from fried food Altogether avoid hydrogenated or trans fats Unlike saturated -fats unsaturated fats are essential so make an effort to eat fish nuts seeds and vegetable oils -eg canola olive flaxseed soybean etc -The Paleo Diet Works -The Paleolithic diet promotes the consumption of food that our hunting and gathering -ancestors would have eaten It is rational to eat what our bodies naturally expect and have -eaten for millions of years The paleo diet advises that we eat whole foods like fruits -vegetables fish and grassfed meats It also discourages processed foods and added sugar and -salt These recommendations are entirely in line with modern nutritional science and the paleo -diet has been shown to have significant health benefits in controlled trials However there -are two valid criticisms of the paleo diet First the diet restricts some nutrientdense food such -as fatfree dairy and whole grains which need not be restricted Second the high meat intake -may lead to health problems if the meat is not lean Besides these two issues asking yourself -Would my ancestors have eaten this can be a practical question to help you avoid -detrimental foods -Drink More Water -Many beverages are extraordinarily caloric Simply cutting soft drinks from your diet can be -highly beneficial Even juice has a lot of calories but no fiber so despite being calorie dense it -doesnt do much to make you feel full This is why if you are not drinking smoothies you should -be drinking plain purified water Dieticians commonly point out that water is absolutely free of -calories and can contribute to feeling full so lets drink up -Many people dont get enough water leaving them with mild symptoms of chronic -dehydration Dehydration is physiologically detrimental and contributes to a lack of energy -discomfort and the muscular dysfunctions discussed in previous chapters Try to drink between -five and eight ounce glasses up to liters of water per day Never drink less than your -thirst dictates -Detraumatize Your Ability to Chug Water -used to frequently choke when drinking This was because my swallowing reflex had become -uncoordinated due to hyperventilation Drinking fast felt perilous and chugging felt like being -waterboarded Swallowing involves the temporary closure of the epiglottis to keep food and -drink out of the lungs If not synchronized correctly then the liquid is inhaled into the lungs -pulmonary aspiration This was happening to me daily Difficulty swallowing is known as -dysphagia everybody has a little bit of it and you want to minimize your bit Use the exercise -below so that you drink mightily with no unnecessary encumbrances -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Healthy Weight Exercise Chug Water Mightily -Pour yourself a large glass of room temperature or warm water Tell yourself there is no rush -There is nothing better for you to do at this moment than observing your swallowing -apparatus at work Take a deep breath and drink the water slowly and mindfully Start with -small gulps making each one voluntary Pay very close attention to the cadence of your -gulping It should be steady Focus on the following -During each gulp your muscles should move through their full range of motion -decisively and uninterrupted -Much of the swallowing process is an automatic reflex controlled by unconscious -neurological mechanisms in the brainstem Give each swallow sufficient time to -progress entirely through its reflex arc before attempting to swallow again You dont -want to interrupt a swallow by swallowing again too soon -It takes practice to know when it is safe to initiate another swallow It is like two -people passing sandbags down a line The first person must wait until the second -persons hands are free before giving them another bag Passing each gulp of water -from the cup to your mouth and then the back of your throat should be efficient and -quick but not at all rushed -You can either hold your breath while you chug or try to coordinate nasal breathing -with drinking Either way dont let involuntary gasps interrupt the chugging process -You cant breathe and swallow at the same time and you must teach the involuntary -aspects of breathing and swallowing to cooperate and wait their turn -Practicing this exercise twice per day for two weeks should be enough to ensure you have -no problem chugging four large glasses of water in seconds You will be able to put away a -bottle of water or a smoothie in a very short time More importantly you will never again be -afraid of choking on water -We Overeat to Combat Stress -It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures but the foolish to be a slave to them Epictetus c -We eat unhealthy food for pleasure but also to quell our pain As discussed earlier the taste of -fat salt and sugar and even the activation of our stomachs stretch receptors stimulate the -release of endorphins dopamine and other feelgood neurotransmitters Conversely dieting -can increase stress hormones startling breathing rate and heart rate Discomfort from skipping -a meal can deplete serotonin reducing the frontal lobes ability to regulate the amygdala -resulting in increased anxiety and frustration In turn heightened stress makes us hungrier and -drives us to keep eating even after we are full -As you know eating a meal makes the parasympathetic nervous system kick in And eating -a larger meal emphasizes rest and digest even more Unconsciously we know this and we -Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns -overeat to subdue the fight or flight mode Thus we overeat to turn the volume down on our -bodily pain Many of us eat to the point where we feel tired and slightly nauseous just to reduce -our daily stress -We also eat compulsively because we perceive food binges as mitigating distressed -breathing Hunger indeed makes our breath shallow Trying to abstain from a piece of cake -does the same That is why it is often preferable to just give in and eat the cake However as -you will see if you try it taking deep slow breaths every time you feel tempted can make you -impervious to the siren song -Combining Fasting with Diaphragmatic Breathing Reduces Your Hunger Drive -Our prehistoric ancestors would not have experienced undue stress the way we do from -missing just one meal Our bodies were designed to go for days without eating Most people -can live longer than a month without food as long as they have access to water However we -have spoiled our appetitive systems Every time we are a little late for a meal our breath -becomes shallow and disturbed Simply we havent learned to retain coolheadedness while -hungry believe that many fasting practices recognize this However think fasting can be -much more beneficial if intentionally combined with diaphragmatic breathing -Try skipping a meal and breathing through the discomfort using paced breathing Focus on -how hunger affects your breathing and internal bracing However be prudent about this Dont -skip a meal in the middle of a hectic workday as this will further traumatize your relationship -with hunger Make it a lunch on a weekend so you can pay attention to how it makes you feel -without worrying about distractions When fast just relax especially for the three or four -hours when am at my hungriest When you fast you will notice recurring pangs of hunger -starting a few hours after your regular mealtime Thoracic breathing fuels these hunger pangs -All your life until now you have paired hunger with distressed breathing Dissociate these by -using paced breathing to override hungers ability to highjack your stress system -Healthy Weight Exercise Diaphragmatic Fasting -Skip a lunch or dinner and spend time quelling your hunger pangs using paced breathing -Concentrate on the sensations of hunger and how they make your breathing shallow -Breathe along with a breath metronome for several minutes each hour during this fast -Imagine that you are a relaxed caveman or woman who hasnt eaten for two days yet who is -confident about finding plenty of food by tomorrow night -Pairing diaphragmatic breathing with hunger will dramatically soothe your hunger drive -The experience afforded by the exercise above will help you differentiate between a neurotic -impulse to eat and the bodys valid hunger signal Resolve to eat only when you feel this honest -signal emanating from your gut -By eating less you may be prolonging your life Studies show that modest calorie -restriction increases health and longevity in all mammals that have been tested Temporary -calorie deficits cause your cells to break down some of their internal building blocks for energy -in a process known as autophagy Many of these molecular structures were damaged and -dysfunctional before they were broken down The next time you eat the cells then turn around -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -and rebuild these structures back up correctly resulting in healthier cells The fact that our -cells regenerate in response to calorie restriction is another justification for why we should -learn to tolerate hunger However keep in mind that these health benefits do not outweigh the -costs associated with anorexia or bulimia -Shrink Your Appetite by Eating Less -Neuroscientists know that exercising restraint is much like exercising a muscle Every time you -abstain or show moderation when eating it gets easier to do so in the future Conversely -every time you binge you will want to eat more the next few meals Thus the next time you -flex your willpower by eating smaller portions or healthier food take some consolation in -knowing that your willpower is growing -It can take up to minutes for the satisfaction signal to reach the brain This is -unfortunate because it means that we are liable to eat minutes worth of food that we dont -need and within just a few short minutes will not want Learn to stop eating early and -anticipate satisfaction before it arrives One way to accomplish this is to stop eating once you -reach of being full It can also help to make a concerted effort to eat less while enjoying -your food more -used to get stressed if a meal was not large enough to make me very full Now find the -sensation of being stuffed repulsive because get tired after eating a heavy meal Overeating -promotes lethargy making both exercise and concentration more difficult This phenomenon is -called postprandial somnolence It can lead to sleepiness and a significant drop in mental -acuity around lunchtime Avoid this in the middle of the day by splitting your lunch in half -Eat one half at noon and the second minutes to an hour later Eating frequent smaller meals -may help you stay alert and keep your metabolism high -Dormant Muscle Increases Body Fat -Modern medical experts know that the current worldwide epidemic of obesity and diabetes is -attributable to unhealthy eating and insufficient exercise but they dont appreciate the role of -dormant muscle believe that the extent of dormant muscle is a major determinant of -metabolic rate It is pretty clear how dormant muscles cause an involuntary loss of lean mass -and a progressive increase in fat mass When parts of your neck shoulders spine and hips are -frozen in place your movement is impeded When your lower back hurts your stomach is -flaccid and your range of lumbar motion is compromised every action is attenuated For these -reasons firmly believe that performing the dormancyreducing antirigidity exercises from -previous chapters will increase your willtomove and your metabolism along with it -Increasing age is associated with decreasing metabolic rate believe this relationship is -mediated by frailty and that antirigidity may allow one to maintain a more active life well into -old age Frailty is the main reason that you have lower energy now as opposed to when you -were younger Thus antirigidity may be the best weight loss tool available When was -moved like a grandfather also had a skinnyfat physique and had to eat small portions to -avoid being overweight Dormant muscle strongly influenced me to be sedentary Not anymore -There are two primary reasons for the variability in metabolic rate between individuals -One is the difference in lean body mass A person with more muscle will have a higher -metabolism The second is voluntary movement not accounted for by exercise called non -Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns -exercise activity thermogenesis NEAT NEAT is spontaneous physical activity and is highly -variable across individuals including how you move and hold your body during work leisure -household tasks and ambulation NEAT can vary by as much as calories per day between -two people The notion that obesity and overweight may be more related to NEAT than diet -and exercise is supported by studies strongly believe that reclaiming atrophic and -hypertonic musculature using antilaxity and antirigidity is a surefire way to increase lean body -mass and NEAT Getting the dormant kinks out of the back and filling in the missing corners in -the abdomen by using the exercises in the next section will shred away ones fatty belly -Reviving Your Abdominals Through Exercise -Our bellies are fat because our abdominal muscles are flaccid and underactive In the following -exercise you will learn how to pair isometric abdominal contraction with paced diaphragmatic -breathing using the antilaxity method from Chapter -Healthy Weight Exercise Standing and Walking with Flexed Abs -In this exercise you will breathe to a breath metronome while standing with proper posture -and tightening your abdominals Pull the belly button toward the spine and contract your -abs Notice how tensing your abs makes you want to breathe at very short intervals Simply -contracting the abs stifles the diaphragm automatically but you can override this Hold the -abdominal contraction and breathe deeply to the pace of the metronome The longer you -pair these two things the more robust you make your abdominal tone -Very lightly strike your abs all over with your hand or a rounded object This will help you -keep a solid contraction When doing this exercise your chest will tend to cave in so expand -the chest and lengthen the distance between your breastbone and pubic bone Dont forget -to retain proper tone in the muscles that expel urine we discussed in the last chapter -Allowing the diaphragm to push the stomach out is key to diaphragmatic breathing -The sight of a protruding abdomen however is not fashionable in our society This is why many -people habitually suck in their gut which can keep the diaphragm tense and limit its motion -You should feel comfortable anywhere poking your stomach out as far as it can go At first -you will look like you have a potbelly just as retracting your neck gives you a double chin -However as these muscles gain natural tone your stomach will slim Pushing the stomach -out is also vital to lower back health as it cushions the lumbar spine during forward bends -Lets use antirigidity contracting directly into achiness to fix this -Healthy Weight Exercise Doubled Over with Protruding Stomach -Pair paced breathing with the activation of deeply dormant abdominal musculature To reach -the deepest portion of your abs sit down with your legs in front of you Bend forward from -your hips and rest your hands on your shins From this position press your stomach outward -as far as it will go Experiment with pressing your stomach out and tensing the abs to -different extents to find the weak areas of your abdomen You should be able to find several -areas that ache very deeply Be very careful because contracting your abdominal muscles too -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -hard or too much at a time could strain the back or even cause an abdominal hernia If it -hurts work up to it slowly Follow the breath metronome while safely contracting into the -achy dormant muscle to rehab it -For maximum results perform the last two abdominal exercises from several different -positions standing kneeling crouching taking one knee squatting lying on the back etc -Reviving Your Abdomen Through Massage -Performing myofascial release on the lower back and love handles dramatically diminished my -stores of local fat This got me wondering whether the same technique could decrease -abdominal fat deposits It sounds too good to be true right Its not Much of the rectus -abdominis has been traumatized because of the way it instinctually contracts without rest -during fear All this strain leads to a dead gut that fails to burn fat Getting the trauma out will -make your abdominals much stronger make ab exercises easier and help your core to be more -engaged during everything you do To do this in the next exercise we will percuss the abdomen -while lying on the back -Healthy Weight Exercise Myofascial Release for Abdominal Muscles -Use your fingers knuckles or a tool to percuss the entire abdomen Lift your hand three to -eight inches above the abdomen before each strike Strike the abdomen two to three times -per second You want to hit hard enough to break the bracing pattern without creating any -real pain or damaging tissue Each soft strike should elicit an ache This aching feeling will -make you want to brace to protect yourself initiating the stretch reflex and a defensive -contraction You want to inhibit this defensive contraction instead allowing your abs to -remain as limp as possible Search for areas that feel tight inflexible or crunchy Spend time -pressing firmly into the tense cords of muscle overlying the bones of the lower rib cage hips -and pelvis all areas that your abdominal muscles anchor into Each day the aching will -further subside and you will have to strike slightly deeper to access achy tissue After a -session there should be no bruising or pain whatsoever so if these occur you are hitting -yourself too hard -This activity will wake up your core but as with all forms of massage overdoing it can -diminish muscle mass For this reason just do it until you get the intense achiness out -Conclusion -Restaurant owners know that people dont want to pay for raw unprocessed food This is -because unprocessed food is cheap and involves very little preparation Consequently it is -perceived to have very little added value Restaurants provide a service by processing the food -such as frying or bakingcooking in oil We are all addicted to these unhealthy preparations -Eating bland chewy raw unprocessed food is work but it is how wild animals and people stay -Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns -lean and healthy Employing nonresistance nonjudgment healthy breathing and a bit of old -fashioned stoicism will help -People who overeat to reduce their stress will find that what their bodies are really -hungering for is exercise The use of cardiovascular exercise in the reduction of stress will be -discussed in the next chapter -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e We dont crave healthy foods because we have not had the experience of getting full on -them by themselves Give yourself that experience by eating full meals that consist of -only fruits and vegetables -e Use a blender to turn fruit and vegetables into smoothies It is a speedy healthy -inexpensive and lowcalorie way to get full -e We overeat unhealthy food to transiently increase our dopamine and endorphins as an -attempt to selfmedicate against panic and stress -e We have spent our lives pairing hunger with thoracic breathing This is why hunger -causes distress which in turn causes us to overeat By fasting for a meal and pairing -the fasting experience with paced breathing you can detraumatize your nervous -systems relationship with hunger -e Stop eating when you feel satiated -e Only start eating when you feel at least hungry -e People with copious dormant muscle must diet to a stressinducing extent to maintain a -healthy weight Reviving dormant muscle using antirigidity will increase your -metabolism -e Most people have an extensive reservoir of dormant abdominal muscle Your stomach -will become much leaner if you rehabilitate this muscle with massage and antilaxity and -antirigidity exercises -Chapter Healthy Eating Patterns -Chapter Endnotes -Reser J Nutrition behavior and the developmental origins of the metabolic -syndrome In V Preedy R Watson C Martin Eds Handbook of behavior food and -nutrition pp Springer -Reser Nutrition behavior and the developmental origins of the metabolic -syndrome -de Gortari P AlcantaraAlonso V MatamorosTrejo G Amaya M I AlvarezSalas E -Differential effects of leptin administration on feeding and HPT axis function in earlylife -overfed adult rats Peptides -Haslam D W James W P Obesity The Lancet -Robertson B A Rehage J S Sih A Ecological novelty and the emergence of -evolutionary traps Trends in Ecology Evolution -Bleich S Cutler D Murray C Adams A Why is the developed world obese -Annual Review of Public Health -Drewnowski A Nutrient density Addressing the challenge of obesity British -Journal of Nutrition S SS -Haytowitz D B Pehrsson P R USDAs national food and nutrient analysis -program NFNAP produces highquality data for USDA food composition databases Two -decades of collaboration Food Chemistry -Greenfield B Boundless Upgrade your brain optimize your body defy aging -Victory Belt Publishing -Rao T S Asha M R Ramesh B N Rao K S Understanding nutrition -depression and mental illness indian Journal of Psychiatry -Ghaedi E Mohammadi M SalehiAbargouei A Effects of a Paleolithic diet on -cardiovascular disease risk factors A systematic review and metaanalysis of randomized -controlled trials Advances in Nutrition -Kenefick R W Drinking strategies Planned drinking versus drinking to thirst -Sports Medicine Suppl -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Kobayashi S Choose delicately and reuse adequately The newly revealed process -of autophagy Biological Pharmaceutical Bulletin -Hofmann W Deutsch R Lancaster K Banaji M R Cooling the heat of -temptation Mental selfcontrol and the automatic evaluation of tempting stimuli European -Journal of Social Psychology -Reyner L A Wells S J Mortlock V Horne J A Postlunch sleepiness during -prolonged monotonous driving effects of meal size Physiology Behavior -Chung N Park M Y Kim J Park H Y Hwang H Lee C H Han J S So J Park J -Lim K Nonexercise activity thermogenesis NEAT A component of total daily living -expenditure Journal of Exercise Nutrition Biochemistry -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol -and Chronic Stress -Trigger warning this chapter discusses some disturbing emotionally difficult material -Traumatic Incidents Affect Your Inner Mammal -woke up in my bed at am to a bright flash of light and an explosion It was the loudest -sound have ever heard could feel the force of the blast resound in my chest At first -assumed there was someone in my bedroom with a shotgun leaped out of bed for cover and -then heard footsteps and yelling just outside my bedroom window didnt know what to do -My home had been burglarized before and even experienced a robbery a few months prior -so assumed was experiencing a home invasion After a halfhour of walking around -maniacally with a baseball bat finally got the local watch commander on the phone He told -me police had served a warrant next door and used stun grenades to gain entry -It had never crossed my mind that law enforcement caused the situation As soon as knew -the explosions were not criminal started to calm down At least the conscious part of me -knew was no longer in danger On the other hand my cat Niko couldnt understand this -He engaged in all kinds of nervous behavior that had never seen from him looking over his -shoulder pawing at the ground and shaking tried my best to calm him but didnt know how -to communicate to him that we were safe now got dressed and took the bus to work There -were no empty seats that morning so stood up feeling the ice in my blood and the tremors -shoot down my spine Holding the rail asked myself How am going to face my colleagues -and give my talk this afternoon At the time knew next to nothing about diaphragmatic -breathing and hadnt developed any Program Peace exercises so struggled through it -The audience could tell was overwhelmed -That night couldnt sleep My conscious self knew was completely safe But my -unconscious brain areasthat like my cat dont speak Englishdidnt know this Like small -scared animals these brain modules continued to be emotional because they do not have -access to the conscious declarative knowledge that there never was any real threat Evolution -kept these brain modules in the dark because the organism cannot afford to trust the semantic -belief that Im pretty sure Im safe now You may not be able to talk to or reason with these -modules but you can communicate with them using your breath Deep breathing persuades -them to cool off didnt have paced breathing back then to help me keep the trauma from -sinking in but was able to use it years later to dig it out -My overreaction to that situation was shaped by prior experiences have been violently -assaulted several times in my life have been held up at knifepoint and seen people stabbed -shot at and beaten have never received an official diagnosis but believe these experiences -caused me to develop a form of PTSD even if a subclinical one Panicking didnt help me in any -of these situations The heightened anxiety from one did not serve me in the next The morning -after would wake up with my teeth heavily clenched eyes squinted into slits lumbar spine -contorted and shoulders up around my ears Many people suffer heinous traumatic incidents -much worse than these that go on to desecrate modules throughout their body have a few -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -friends that were jumped and beaten by groups of individuals The neurological toll this takes -can be ruinous especially if it happens multiple times -Car accidents mugging battery rape gruesome injury childhood abuse and anything that -involves an incapacity to stop a terrible thing from happening can plant the seeds of trauma -Feelings of entrapment immobilization and helplessness make it worse But it is when we -allow these feelings to persist through time that the real damage occurs Obsessive rumination -bracing and distressed breathing occurring well after the actual event itself are what prime the -body for suboptimality These three things turn stress into trauma by proving to your -unconscious that things have not gotten better Alleviating them starts with the breath because -if full long smooth diaphragmatic belly breathing does not resume then your muscles wont -let it go and your mind will continue to relive the tribulation What traumatic episodes are -you prolonging -A Heightened Stress System -As discussed in Chapters and sustained stress changes the bodys life strategy It convinces -the body that the environment it was born into is particularly lifethreatening Scientists refer -to such environments as high in extrinsic mortality This kind of environment communicates -to the organism on a cellular level that the probability of it being able to live a long and happy -life is low The genes then reprogram the body to deal with a short and grisly one This changes -your mortal shell from a slowburning candle into a firecracker Your body expends all its energy -upfront because it doesnt expect to live for long This happens at the expense of longterm -energetic investments such as healing the immune system learning reproductive functioning -affiliation and investing time and energy in offspringt For example chronic anxiety inhibits -your bodys ability to protect itself from oxidation which is a process that acts on your cells in -the same way that rust acts on metal It also contributes to aging by keeping the body from -repairing its telomeres the protective caps at the end of your chromosomes reducing the -number of times your cells can divide -As you know when stress goes on for too long it results in a chronically heightened fear -and startle response The brain is retuned to enhance performance during lifethreatening -situations and facilitate cautiousness and hypervigilance traits that would have been highly -adaptive during extended periods of dire stress in prehistoric environments These changes -cause the stress response to become more pronounced and more easily triggered The brain -center that triggers stress the amygdala has its own innate response pattern to chronic stress -Lets learn more about this almondsized nucleus that acts as yet another biological repository -of trauma -The Amygdala Recognizes Threats -As we learned in Chapter threats are recognized by the amygdala This unconscious -subcortical area becomes active once it perceives a stimulus or a group of stimuli together as -dangerous The amygdala responds quickly and automatically to the inputs it receives from the -eyes ears and other sense organs If the threat is sufficient it broadcasts the fear signal to the -rest of the brain It can do this unconsciously a glimpse of a looming object or visually the -view of a bus barreling toward you The recognition of an abstract stressor knowledge that -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -you missed your bus involves the prefrontal cortex which indirectly alerts the amygdala -Either way once the amygdala is activated it will signal the hypothalamus which initiates fight -or flight -Thalamus -Prefrontal -Cortex Visual Cortex -Eye -Hypothalamus -Amygdala To Heart Lungs -Adrenals -Illustration A Cross section of the brain with amygdala revealed You actually have two amygdalae one in -each cerebral hemisphere B Three fear pathways to the amygdala The unconscious pathway travels from the -eye to the thalamus to the amygdala The visual pathway travels from the eye to the thalamus to the visual -cortex to the amygdala The thinking pathway travels from the prefrontal cortex to the amygdala -Amygdala -If the amygdala is strongly and repeatedly activated over the course of several weeks its -default level of activity will increase Over months of repeated activation the amygdala -develops stronger connections with other brain areas intensifying its influence It also increases -in overall size This enhanced priority given to the amygdala causes the animal to react to -every seemingly threatening stimulus as if it were a full threat -The amygdalas job is to decide whether a pattern of inputs looks like something that -turned out badly in the past However it does not use reason or conscious deliberation to do -this Rather it engages in simple pattern matching in which it adds up seemingly bad inputs to -see if they sum to a threshold If the inputs surpass this threshold the amygdala triggers the -sympathetic nervous system Thus our feelings of dread are not prompted by logical thinking -Instead they are initiated by the amygdalas eccentric way of determining statistics and -probability For example an offenders voice clothes name or cologne could subliminally -reinstate an amygdala highjack -Allow me to provide an example of how the amygdalas form of logic is susceptible to -mistakes One day when was in a lousy mood picked up the phone and the caller asked to -speak to my roommate The next day when heard their voice again it made me angry and -realized my prior bad mood had biased me against the caller for no good reason Because my -brain made this unconscious negative association hearing the voice later triggered the same -negative emotions It was illogical and unfair to the caller But my first impulse was to trust it -unquestioningly We accept the amygdalas alarm bells as a type of foreboding intuition -Negative emotions usually feel valid and impelling but they are often invalid and illusory -This is why we should question them rather than act on them impulsively Especially after -you experience a series of stressors the amygdala will influence your thinking to be -delusionally negative -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -When activity in the amygdala surges the brain is temporarily retuned to perceive -everything as troublesome For instance it increases the tendency to perceive ambiguous -events as bad such as criticism when none is intended or hostility from a neutral face This is -the opposite of a manic episode which causes people to perceive everything as a gleeful lucky -coincidence People with mania often feel like cars on the freeway move to let them through -everyone is their best friend and everything goes their way On the other hand chronic stress -makes us more likely to succumb to road rage and the feeling that everyone and everything is -against us Whenever start to feel disheartened try to remember that neurochemicals can -paint over reality -You may have noticed that after one negative interaction you are much more likely to get -stressed out about other completely unrelated things With the exception of living in a -warzone this displaced negative thinking is irrational in the modern world Interestingly though -it may not be irrational from an ecological standpoint It was beneficial for mammals to be -prepared for the worst during bad times Just imagine what life would have been like for early -mammals in the Jurassic and Cretaceous periods -When there are predators on the loose or natural catastrophes strike they are rarely -quickly resolved For furry varmints from possums to porcupines to panthers it makes sense to -become scared and remain paranoid From a modern perspective however it is preposterous -to generalize anxiety to whatever your mind turns to Dont let one unfortunate scenario lead -to a domino effect of suspicion and dismay Notice when you carry negative emotions from one -thought over to another When you realize it try to tell yourself that the negativity may feel -compelling but that it is probably just residual and misattributed emotion -Stress and Cortisol The MindBody Connection -Stand porter at the door of thought Admitting only such conclusions as you wish realized in bodily results you will -control yourself harmoniously Mary Baker Eddy -When the amygdala decides it has perceived a stressful stimulus it triggers the hypothalamus -The hypothalamus mobilizes the sympathetic nervous system leading to rapid breathing -tense muscles reduced sensitivity to pain suspension of digestion and a rise in heart rate and -blood pressure It also activates the adrenal glands prompting the release of adrenaline -The release of adrenaline is a fastacting hormonal response to an acute stressor Adrenaline -frees up blood sugars to give muscles and other tissues the energy they need to deal with an -immediate threat -After adrenaline the second principal stress hormone is cortisol Cortisol a is slowacting -response to a persistent stressor also released by the adrenals It gives animals extra strength -by liberating the energy from fat molecules into the bloodstream This sounds like it could lead -to weight loss but it doesnt In the long run cortisol promotes fat storage and muscle protein -breakdown It also changes the expression of several genes in fat tissue increasing the -likelihood of obesity and type diabetes -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -Adrenal -Gland -e -Kidney -Illustration A The kidneys with the adrenal glands sitting on top B The molecular structure of the hormone -cortisol C The heart and lungs -Chronic stress upregulates this entire stress hormone system also known as the HPA -hypothalamicpituitaryadrenal axis The result is that the body is continuously flooded with -adrenaline and cortisol Sustained elevation of cortisol is highly pathogenic and leads to -hypertension elevated heart rate increased circulating levels of lipids and cholesterol -atherosclerotic plaque formation decreased highdensity lipoprotein HDL and increased low -density lipoprotein LDL cholesterol Cortisol makes stress corrosive and is related to disorders -like arthritis asthma acid reflux cardiovascular disease chronic fatigue decreased -metabolism depression various cancers migraines sleep deprivation immune system -impairment and ulcers -Elevated cortisol also causes the immune system to produce inflammatory chemicals -cytokines This results in inflammation redness warmth and swelling which increases the -immune systems ability to heal wounds from physical attacks Again this would have been -advantageous in prehistoric times when stress indicated that cuts and lacerations were likely In -modern times however chronically elevated inflammation can lead to pain poor digestion -cancer autoimmune disorders and other dire disease states In fact it has been found to be a -player in almost every chronic disease To escape chronic inflammation we must stop thinking -inflammatory thoughts But unfortunately cortisol also acts on the brain -Cortisol causes mammals to search desperately for a way out Today this urge to escape -drives us to drink alcohol smoke overeat and displace workrelated frustrations on family -members If you are curious to see what highly elevated cortisol feels like try submerging your -entire forearm in an ice bath for two minutes The pain from the ice causes a rapid spike in -cortisol release and this method is often used in experimental studies When cortisol is raised -like this it causes subjects to perform mental tasks less flexibly and intelligently It also -increases pessimism aggression and the negativity bias -As you might have guessed elevated cortisol is common in humans and animals on the -bottom of the pecking order Cortisol is the hormone of status defeat and it surges in monkeys -and apes that are being dominated Decades of studies on early life exposure to cortisol in -monkeys reinforces much of what we have been discussing in this book Exposure to trauma -and cortisol makes a young monkey more psychologically vulnerable to stress and leads to -decreased dominance increased aggression decreased social competence reduced ability to -find social interactions rewarding and reduced affiliative drive When we feel defeated our -serotonin and testosterone drop and our cortisol rises Intermittent stressors like workplace -abuse or even replaying uncivil incidents in ones mind elevate cortisol levels -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Stress expert Robert Sapolsky wrote an excellent book on the neurobiology of stress called -Why Zebras Dont Get Ulcers In the book Sapolsky explains that most animals other than -social primates do not give themselves ulcers because they dont waste time worrying Zebras -and most other animals only get upset when they find themselves in immediate danger -usually involving a predator If we only got upset when wild carnivores were stalking us we -would all be a whole lot happier Moreover zebras probably dont rehearse negative social -situations or mull over their place on the social ladder It is mostly monkeys apes and humans -that repeatedly model these scenarios in their heads As a primate your amygdala is inclined to -latch on to social confrontation and cause it to be played out continuously in the imagination -This results in an existential nightmare that Chapter offered you tools eg nonjudgment -nonresistance and nonattachment to wake yourself up from Most of these tools influence the -way you assess problems -The way you appraise a stressprovoking stimulus will program your automatic response -the next time you encounter a similar stimulus In other words your brain will do its best to -remember how you responded so it can expedite that response next time So when something -alarms shocks or unpleasantly surprises you dont get caught up in it Instead try to -immediately minimize the negativity -Whether it is a mosquito whining in your ear a car honking at you or a person yelling at -you stop take a deep breath and choose to be calmer Underreacting inoculates the amygdala -against stress Face difficulty with a levelheaded mindset that is as centered grounded -and poised as possible -DeStress Activity Maintain Composure Amid Tragedy -Imagine that a terrible crisis is unfolding all around you You are attempting to stop assailants -from battering your friend You are being lambasted absolutely torn to shreds by your -colleagues You are experiencing a natural disaster A large animal is attacking your group -Imagine maintaining complete composure amid this chaos You are going through hell but -you keep going You stand straight put on your game face breathe deeply and master the -fear in your gut Other people see your outward appearance and are puzzled by it You focus -on fixing the situation the best way you can knowing that maintaining your presence of mind -will only aid your efforts to help others and right wrongs If you make these scenarios vivid -and extreme then after you have done this for a while there should be nothing and no one -in real life that can throw you off -Dont Develop an Unhealthy Fear of Stress -He who fears he shall suffer already suffers what he fears Michel De Montaigne -After recounting so many of the physical costs of stress in this book would be doing you a -disservice if didnt encourage you not to stress out over stress itself Here is why Studies have -shown that the pathogenesis of physical disease in response to stress is made much worse -when someone believes that stress affects their health Basically thinking that stress is -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -unhealthy makes it more unhealthy Also people who report they actively avoid stress are -more likely to suffer from depression So what can we do -When you feel stressed dont hate it fear it or fight it Appraise it as enthusiasm and allow -diaphragmatic breathing and belief in yourself to take away the unhealthy elements Whenever -you believe that you will end up stronger from a stressful incident you almost always will This -is known as posttraumatic growth People who see stress as normal and an opportunity for -progress fare better For instance nervous public speakers who said am excited were rated -as having better speeches than people who said I am calm So decide to see yourself as -scrappy full of grit and able to bounce back Believe that stress and arousal will create an -advantage for you -A stressor itself is inherently neutral It is the way it is appraised that induces either distress -or eustress Eustress is positive stress and comes about when we decide we can cope -successfully Eustress mounted in response to exciting challenges drops off quickly rather than -lingering like the cortisol response does -Besides this distinction between distress and eustress scientists also differentiate between -the threat and challenge responses The threat response is the fightorflight response that -makes you angry or fearful priming you for selfdefense The challenge response gives you -initiative helps you focus and motivates you to confront obstacles Both responses share -several physiological factors such as an increase in heart rate However when you feel -challenged your heart beats stronger not just faster giving you more energy -During the threat response the body is anticipating physical harm and makes relevant -alterations For example blood vessels constrict to minimize blood loss due to injury sustained -during combat The body also increases inflammation and mobilizes immune cells to prepare -for bruises and cuts The threat response leads to cortisol and feelings of selfdoubt Studies -have shown that over time the threat response leads to obesity brain volume loss and an -increased risk of cardiovascular disease -The challenge response doesnt do these things The challenge response leads to tenacity -and enthusiasm Experts say that if you feel you dont have what it takes to meet a situation -head on you experience a threat response agree also think that the threat response is -selected when distressed breathing predominates and that the challenge response is selected -when diaphragmatic breathing is retained Use your deep breathing skills to turn threat -responses into challenge responses -would also be remiss not to mention that low to moderate stress levels are natural and -beneficial In fact most excitement is accompanied by a little adrenaline and cortisol along -with an increase in heart and breathing rates We need some stress just like we need to -contract our muscles regularly The problem with the stress response is when it is elevated -chronically like a braced muscle -am asking you to avoid mulling over threats fights and abuse am not however asking -you to deny reality or stop thinking about rising to meet challenges Avoiding what makes you -anxious can suspend growth This is why it is important to expose yourself incrementally to -gradations of challenging social situations Voice that extra comment joke or observation to -your peers to challenge yourself without pushing yourself into panic Spark a conversation with -a stranger Chat up the clerk at the cash register Find progressively larger audiences to share -your ideas with and make eye contact for those few extra seconds Every time you meet a -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -moderate challenge and succeed you become able to face bigger challenges Assert yourself -in ways you were hesitant to previously and push yourself to gently expand your comfort -zone boundaries -Remember those monkey studies we discussed a few sections back It turns out that if the -young monkey was exposed to elevated levels of cortisol a few times but only briefly -then they developed increased resilience to stress and lowered cortisol levels It toughened -them up Your stress system is just like a muscle you want to push it through its full range -regularly but not for extended periods Undergoing stress that challenges your cardiovascular -and sympathetic system ends up being excellent exercise if you are not defeated by it and if you -can relax afterward Envision your stress system as agile and able to go from to and back -to uncomplicatedly Endure prevail and recoup Be made better and stronger by everything -that happens by remaining fundamentally unharmed -Feelings of Control and Safety -An animals stress is exacerbated when it cannot figure out how to make things better -feels helpless or powerless A rat subjected to small electrical shocks will liberate significantly -less cortisol if it thinks it has some control over the frequency of the shocks Tricking the rat into -thinking that pushing a lever reduces these shocks helps it remain calm even if the lever -actually does nothing In a similar experiment when a beeping noise preceded a shock toa -rats foot those rats had less severe ulcers than those with no warning Because the stress had -some predictability the rats could retain a sense of control -The moral of this story Dont focus on the elements of disturbing events that are -unpredictable or uncontrollable More importantly know that your reactions attitude and -reasoned choice are always under your control Your breathing is always under your control as -well We all have times we are confused and uncertain Do not let the nonlinear chaotic or -unforeseeable distress you Instead take the time to identify which aspects of an unpleasant -situation are malleable This can help take the sting away from the unruly and erratic and help -you turn threats into challenges -Challenging yourself and embracing disorder is great but there are times when you must -feel able to completely put down your guard so that you can rest deeply After the police loudly -arrested my neighbor felt helpless in my own bed This is not ok Do what you must to make -sure that you feel in control underneath your sheets even if it means installing an alarm system -or a thicker bedroom door with a deadbolt The place where you sleep should provide -sanctuary and refuge so you can debrace recharge and think safe happy thoughts -The Buddha sat and slept at the base of the Bodhi Tree because it provided protection and -security He trusted it to have his back Make sure your resting place makes you feel -unconditionally secure -Preventing Scalp Soreness and Other Forms of Hypoperfusion -Hair loss can be caused by stress have a friend who left his ferret alone for two days and came -home to find it covered in bald patches It is common for mammals to lose fur after trauma -The details are unclear but it may be some kind of social signal When chronic stress causes -hair loss in humans it is known as telogen effluvium started rapidly losing hair at the end of -th grade At the time had no idea what caused the sudden hair loss Looking back two -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -decades later it is clear that it started immediately after having my nose broken believe the -hair loss was a direct response to some form of highintensity bracing that took on after the -injury that caused an outpouring of cortisol -It is cortisol that makes hair follicles thin and fall out it is also stress hormones that make -them turn gray This is why hair loss is associated with other stressrelated illnesses like -coronary artery disease hypertension dyslipidemia and increased mortality Although -genetics plays a role in hair loss abrupt hair loss from an early age is usually caused by extreme -stress By age my hairline had receded to the midline of my scalp farther than my father or -grandfathers hairlines Fascinatingly my hair loss stopped for eight years at least immediately -after started paced breathing Of course only a little of my hair grew back because the -miniaturization of the follicle responsible for balding is irreversible -Another contributor to hair loss is reduced blood supply to the scalp Stress and aging can -reduce circulation and vasculature in subcutaneous tissues all over the head This can cause -scalp soreness In the medical literature sore scalp has been closely associated with hair loss -alopecia and male pattern baldness believe that you can reduce your risk of hair loss by -increasing circulation in your scalp Does your scalp feel sore when you firmly press a knuckle -into it with five pounds of pressure It shouldnt If it does it may have reduced blood flow and -the accompanying reductions in oxygen and nutrients If the exercise below feels sore or -painful you should do it often to improve circulation The intervention is simple quick and can -vastly reduce scalp soreness in less than two weeks Do the following -DeStress Exercise Increase Scalp Blood Flow -Take the heel of your palm and press firmly down on the top of your head around -your hairline or on any patch of scalp that feels sore -Move your hand in a circular motion while pressing very firmly You should feel -like you are stretching the skin away from its attachments to the underlying bone -Try to move your hand in wide circles attempting to stretch the scalp as far as it -will go in each direction -Take about one seconds time to complete a full circle -Repeat this all over the scalp focusing on the sorest areas for a total of five -minutes Also use other forms of massage including compression and percussion -When started five pounds of pressure from a single knuckle at the top of my head -provoked unbearable discomfort The sheer amount of pain suggested to me that the scalp is -another anchor for trauma So felt compelled to try to get the pain out Within fiveminute -sessions of the exercise above it went from puffy and dimpled with inflammation to smooth -and sleek Aside from the scalp there are other areas without underlying muscle that can be -affected by poor circulation -often use headphones to listen to audiobooks when take walks After a few years of this -my ears hurt every time took off my headphones They were so painful one day that figured -would have to stop wearing them Frustrated with this cupped my palms over my ears and -bent them forward firmly This stung so spent seconds bending them in different -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -directions It ached but it also felt good When wore headphones the next day it was much -less painful Three more sessions like this and the pain was gone completely -With age and uneven use our tissues develop a condition called hypoperfusion This is also -known as diminished blood flow and is the reason my ears hurt Reduced perfusion of blood -can cause pain all around the body As you know pain exacerbates stress and drives the -production of cortisol so we should be finding these areas and massaging them -Hypoperfusion develops when tissues and organs receive reduced circulation due to -diminishment in the number of small blood vessels Pinching and bending my ears for less than -five minutes overall provided the mechanical deformation of the tissues necessary to stimulate -the creation of new small blood vessels angiogenesis All our hypoperfused tissues including -dormant muscles need this kind of tender loving care If it aches and itches target it further -want to encourage you to use compression percussion and vibration to address -hypoperfusion anywhere you can find it because it will scale down your stress -Drug Use Leads to Frailty and Chronic Distress -In my early twenties had between one and five alcoholic drinks on weekends a cigarette every -Saturday night and a cup of coffee most weekdays wanted to stop but couldnt help myself -When was taking them the drugs created the illusion of helping manage my stress Taking -them leads to relief because they mitigate distressed breathing for a few minutes but in the -long term they actually contribute to it It took me years to realize that even these uncontrolled -substances lead to compulsive use relapse after abstinence and physical dependence -Both nicotine and alcohol create a sense of euphoria that lasts a few minutes However -the accompanying withdrawal from even a single use can lead to minor dysphoria that lasts -days Whether you are aware of it or not this discomfort affects you emotionally and increases -your bracing shallow breathing and emotional distress never noticed the withdrawal -symptoms in my twenties but after developing sensitivity to my inner states discussed in -depth in the next chapter they became very apparent Alcohol withdrawal symptoms include -irritability fatigue shaking sweating nausea headache and difficulty concentrating -But these symptoms dont just affect alcoholics who go cold turkey They affect everyone who -uses alcohol in a dosedependent manner The symptoms of smoking cessation can be worse -Withdrawal from any drug robs a user of diaphragmatic mobility and believe the resulting -shallow breathing is a primary mechanism in addiction -When you use psychoactive drugs every week you experience fiendish cravings realized -that two shots of liquor made me feel fearless for thirty minutes and a cigarette extinguished -my anxiety for an hour but for the next few days the subtle pain from withdrawal made me -slightly more introverted and submissive Situations that would consider to be minor hassles -before became calamities that would make me think My God Ive got to have a drink When -you feel you need a cigarette is precisely when you shouldnt smoke Instead of masking the -pain work through it by spending some time with your breath metronome -Intense social interactions that go on too long create loads of tension Drugs amplify this -This is why after mixing the two otherwise known as partying you wake up feeling achy and -nauseous with a headache and stiff breathing It is also why rock stars and child actors often -burn out so fast You cannot consume caffeine alcohol tobacco or marijuana and hope to -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -keep your latent trigger points from flaring up in social situations Instead intoxication makes -you intensify your social displays without awareness of the increase in bracing -When people use drugs recreationally it makes them feel immune to social stress for a -short time This inevitably leads them to go too hard on their bodies It proceeds like this -as you work the room you strain your trigger points and chakras to the limit until you reach -the point of needing another drink or cigarette Using dulls the discomfort and allows you to -continue to push your chakras further deranging and abusing them Soon you are in so much -discomfort that youre turning to a third drink a fourth drink or possibly even harder drugs -Imagine that you badly strained your neck Friday afternoon Would you go to a party that -night drink and do drugs If you did do you think it would make your neck better or worse -Would you go to the party if you had a fever What if you were years old would you do it -then offer these hypotheticals to help the reader see that social drug use is characterized by -postural neglect zero muscle refreshing shallow breathing and mounting tension recently -heard a yearold friend who stayed up all night drinking and partying say something the next -morning that stuck with me As she practically limped to her car she said My entire body feels -bruised Episodes like this contribute immensely to frailty and muscle dormancy -Most recreational drugs legal and illegal increase dopamine making you feel eager and -rewarded Thus drug use pits two different sections of the brain against each other One finds -the drug stimulating and exhilarating while the other finds it depleting and impoverishing As -mammals we are designed to choose whatever increases our dopamine This is why for most -people the fleeting reward of drug use outweighs the longterm costs Drug use tricks the -brains pleasure centers into being delighted at the cost of tightening the vices around our -chakras In the long run it also saps our dopamine Within a couple of hours the dopamine dips -below default and the person feels understimulated and restless compelling them to want to -use the drug again Moreover studies show that longterm drug use can permanently lower -dopamine and serotonin levels -thought would always crave cigarettes and alcohol but diaphragmatic retraining -abolished my urges In fact studies have shown that paced breathing can help addicts maintain -sobriety Cigarettes and alcohol brought so much relief to me before but no longer did once -started breathing diaphragmatically believe that this is simply because there is little to relieve -now Instead cigarettes generally just make my body feel weak while alcohol makes me feel -slow and tired -There is a growing community of people who believe they can use drugs to achieve -spiritual entheogenic growth Sadly almost all these people are oblivious to their shallow -breathing while doing drugs For this reason most heavy trips are bad trips even if the person -does not realize it believe that if you want to do drugs you should only do them while paced -breathing Otherwise they will inevitably increase the extent of bracing going on under your -level of awareness Drugs should be used exclusively under the condition of complete -composure Under any other circumstances they will unhinge your emotional wellbeing -However hypocritically do recommend you take a drug for the following exercise -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -DeStress Activity Desensitize to the Sensations of Caffeine -Commit a whole day to observing your bodys reaction to caffeine Make or buy a caffeinated -beverage of your choice then drink some of it Caffeine taurine and other alkaloids increase -adrenaline and cortisol The caffeine will lead to the amplification of your discomfort the -activation of latent trigger points and the straining of various chakralike modules Lie down -and focus on these intense sensations They may involve buzzing crackling heat or cold and -they may come in waves Do not fight the waves If you breathe mindfully through the -twinges of pain convulsing your innards you will learn to control and dispel them Try going -to sleep in this state -If you are a regular caffeine consumer try to abstain from caffeine and perform this exercise -while being exposed to caffeine withdrawal symptoms instead Having encouraged you to -drink caffeine want to be clear Clinical studies show that longterm use of highly -caffeinated beverages can result in significant adverse health outcomes including cardiac -and psychiatric conditions For this reason strongly discourage the consumption of energy -drinks My subjective opinion is that caffeine should be kept under mg per day which is -the equivalent of one or two eightounce cups of tea -Several drugs including hallucinogens dissociatives and psychedelics can induce -temporary psychosis Profoundly disturbing states of nightmarish terror fear of overdose or -ultimate entrapment are commonly reported A bad trip is not physical and emotional pain -caused by a drug It is preexisting pain from bodily tension and latent trigger points unmasked -by the drug Being exposed to this and being badly and unmindfully distressed by it increases -trauma in the body However think that any bad trip can be reversed by minutes of paced -breathing Mental health specialists are searching for a treatment that can be administered to -patients shortly after an overdose panic attack or horrific trauma believe that deep paced -breathing should be used in emergency response and clinical settings because it has the power -to terminate these states and in so doing help block the formation of traumatic memories -have a friend who smokes concentrated THC every day smokes cigarettes hourly and -drinks between and drinks a night every night This sounds like a living hell to most -people But few realize that doing less than this is just a proportionately smaller version of that -hell have watched this womans good looks erode over just a few years Every time see her -the squinting and sneering are further entrenched She doesnt even do any hard drugs but the -poor gal is in constant displeasure and dissatisfaction driven by her withdrawal symptoms She -once described her pain to me as claws and teeth tugging at her internal organs and devouring -her from the inside out believe this is an insightful description of what it feels like to have -your chakralike modules saturated in inflammation and trapped in partial contraction -Video Games Violent Movies and Loud Music Contribute to Stress -Humans have a tendency to create unhealthy attachments to forms of overstimulation was -addicted to video games violent movies and loud music Just as with drugs we become -hooked on the dopamine and adrenaline they produce and the fleeting thrill causes us to -ignore the persistent lowlevel panic -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -Traditional huntergatherers had exceptionally low stimulation levels of the time -They were out in nature Today we plug into many streams of overstimulation that promote -thrillseeking and hyperarousal Videos of street fights epic fails people getting injured -combat sports horror movies and other forms of sensory assault are some of the most popular -videos online As with pornography these intense but damaging experiences make us -dissatisfied with our real lives believe that some peoples limbic systems respond to intense -media stimulation with the challenge response but think most respond to them with the -threat response -Social media use video games and the violent nature of modern movies and television -fragment our attention and foster a gambling mindset that causes us to become addicted to -shortlived thrills News outlets design the daily coverage of current events and politics to incite -negative emotions because it grabs attention Everything from unsolicited emails to our social -media feed to the nightly news report inundates us with shock confusion and consternation -Modern media has been documented to decrease the capacity for concentration discipline -and the kind of work ethic necessary to thrive in the modern professional sector -Almost any wild mammal placed in a nightclub or movie theater would frantically try to -escape Ironically these are the places we go to relax even though our innate senses want to -retreat from loud sounds bright lights and quick movement They keep our amygdala ringing -with fear Even childrens movies today are hysterically paced and feature constant calamity -and pandemonium A large proportion of children are incapable of breathing through their -noses under these conditions As we sit consuming popular media we hyperventilate sneer -startle raise our eyebrows brace our vocal cords and protract our necks As long as you allow -media content to impede your breathing pattern this is inescapable -DeStress Activity Disengage from an Action Flick -The next time you watch a suspenseful movie television show or video game carefully -monitor your internal reactions When the main character is risking their life and there are -big stakes notice how somewhere deep down inside of you you hold a conviction that says -Dont take a full long breath or else you will put the protagonist of the movie in jeopardy -Do you see how absurd this situation is What is happening to a fictional character in a film -should not adversely affect your breathing -The fear of breathing properly is our most limiting belief At the theater or on your couch -pull out your paced breathing app dim the screen and override this tendency as you -continue to watch While you witness the character experience peril breathe long slow -breaths You will be amazed by how this allows you to detach from and become desensitized -to the nailbiting worriment -When the diaphragm tenses it is like a turtle retreating into its shell It wants to hide -from loud sounds and fast movement When it is afraid it lies still in partial contraction When -it feels safe it ventures out While we consume entertainment media our tendency is to breathe -with the chest and freeze the diaphragm in place The diaphragm remains buried inside the rib -cage like the turtles head inside its shell This keeps the belly still During each inhalation -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -pay attention to the downstroke of your diaphragm Imagine it emerging from the bottom of -your ribs and pushing on the contents of your belly As you perform Activity above -you should have dozens of breakthrough moments where little by little you are able to -encourage your diaphragm to come out and play -As with drug use intense stimulation from modern media causes us to completely -disregard the panic signals our body is sending us Performing paced breathing while engaging -in these activities is an excellent way to learn to retain your composure as you are inundated If -you practice you will get to the point where you can breathe through your nose at five breaths -per minute in a loud theater digital firefight or clamoring nightclub for hours at a time Allow -me to point out that it doesnt matter which arena arcade or bar you are in if you breathe at -five breaths per minute or less you are automatically the coolest cat there -Most video games create suspenseful situations in which players must react quickly to keep -their character from being hurt or killed The simulated danger and time pressure recruits fast -acting areas of the brain such as the amygdala and basal ganglia to help perform the -hazardous button pressing These unconscious brain areas dont know they are just being -recruited to play a game They assume the actions are dire and so involuntarily activate the -sympathetic system This is why playing realtime video games can be affectively detrimental -Each decrement in the characters life bar causes startle and cortisol release Each startle -contributes ever so slightly to ones background hum of anxiety Moreover as you hold the -controller as with your phone or keyboard most of your major postural muscles are -completely braced and immobilized In a very real sense we are monkeys being terrorized -while handcuffed to the keyboard mouse or controller -Videogames have been shown to increase cortisol levels bolster aggressive affect and -reduce prosocial behavior Most of my friends who play video games act breathless and -panicked afterward driving them to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol during gaming breaks -Playing an hour of competitive online deathmatches would strip almost anyone of their -composure Over time this undermines autonomic balance In my twenties didnt realize that -loud violent entertainment was turning me into the stereotype of the highstrung geek -Many studies have shown that merely reducing television volume can vastly reduce the -sympathetic stress response to violent videos and games In general the louder the TV the -more frequently and intensely the amygdala is triggered and the more cortisol is released -Turn your speakers down a few decibels and you should notice that you feel far less uneasy -after a play session or an action movie We should also seek out activities that put us into a -state of flow and stimulate dopamine without stimulating cortisol What you are doing right -now reading may be one of the best Socialization meditation massage sex singing and -exercise are others -Some breathtaking things are good for us But we need to differentiate between the scenic -overlook and addictive trauma Overstimulating media tricks our bodies into thinking we are -preparing for tremendous amounts of exercise even though we usually consume it while sitting -on our backsides Rather than stewing in them use up your stress hormones by engaging in -physical activity -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -Conclusion Exercise Is the Best Antistress Tool -Perhaps the best antidote for stress is regular exercise There is an extensive body of research -documenting the many benefits Exercise bolsters selfesteem enhances body image increases -stress resilience and is an effective treatment for depression and anxiety Some studies -indicate that exercise may even increase life expectancy and the overall quality of life -There are many reasons to exercise -Health Benefits of Exercise -e Improves circulation efficiency and reduces blood pressure -e Increases pain tolerance -e Increases the number of red blood cells facilitating oxygen transport -e Lowers total cholesterol while raising good cholesterol -e Prevents bone loss and stimulates bone growth reducing the risk of osteoporosis -e Promotes weight loss -e Reduces risk for heart disease blood clots and stroke -e Reduces the risk for diabetes and cardiovascular issues -e Strengthens the heart muscle improves its efficiency and reduces resting heart rate -e Strengthens the muscles of respiration -Most people dont engage in daily physical activity because it feels uncomfortable -They assume exercise will add to their distress Its true exercise does lead to a slight increase -in adrenaline and cortisol This is why we must appraise the sensation of exercise as positive -stress a challenge and as under our control Moreover mounting a small stress response to -exercise repeatedly will diminish your stress response to subsequent exercise In other words -the more you train the less uncomfortable it becomes -Exercise involves the good type of stress that fortifies us against bad types It does this by -teaching the respiratory and cardiovascular systems how to handle heavy loads and recover -rapidly Also after exercise stress plummets For instance it is known that blood concentration -levels of cortisol rebound fall off abruptly On the other hand cortisol rebound after social -stress is sluggish and it wont rebound at all if it leads to rumination The next time you -find yourself overthinking an argument take a run You may find it wipes most of your -concerns away -Exercise is a potent antidepressant and anxiolytic that makes us feel significantly less -affected by unfavorable events The reason is that physical exertion whether aerobic or -anaerobic results in endorphin release Betaendorphin is a neurohormone released into the -bloodstream from the pituitary gland during exercise Endorphins attach themselves to -specific receptor sites in the brain that affect our perception of wellbeing and in large -amounts can even create the feeling of euphoria Endorphins are the bodys way of rewarding -us for exerting ourselves Endorphins not only give you a sense of pleasure they also suppress -appetite elevate mood increase memory retention and improve immune activity -Aerobic exercise results in the increased creation of new brain cells neurogenesis in the -same areas that lose cells in people with depression such as the hippocampus The -concentration of nerve growth factors like GDNF and BDNF increases with exercise -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -These proteins cause neuron branches to grow and make new connections They also reduce -susceptibility to degeneration It is no wonder that a sedentary lifestyle is a risk factor for -neurodegenerative illnesses in humans If you dont exercise to improve health fitness -or appearance then do it to increase the quality of your level of consciousness In fact -exercise has many positive biological effects on the brain -Neurobiological Effects of Exercise -e Boosts energy and reduces stress -e Improves brain structural connections -e Improves cognitive function cognitive control and various forms of memory -e Improves mental health increasing cognitive capacity -e Improves mental wellness by relieving stress tension anxiety and depression -e Improves selfimage and confidence -e Improves sleep quality -e Increases gray matter density -e Results in new neuron growth -Exercise enhances the feelgood neuromodulators while having none of the downsides of -overeating drugs alcohol or chaotic entertainment The endorphin release that occurs during -exercise is one reason why running around the block once or twice can make you come across -as highly relaxed before a meeting date or party The other reason is that it resets the level of -tension in your chest -Unspent negative energy will inevitably be funneled toward the bracing of your -diaphragm This makes it so that a tense claw powers each inhalation and exhalation -Intense cardiovascular exercise that requires heavy breathing forces you to loosen that claw -and expand the diaphragms range simply so that you can get enough air Additionally -when an exercise thoroughly works out your breathing musculature it will need rest -preventing it from reverting to its usual pattern of heavy tension In other words aerobic -exercise stimulates and strengthens the breathing musculature making it largely incompatible -with bracing the diaphragm -DeStress Exercise Unbracing Heavy Breathing -During intense aerobic exercise you should feel some degree of discomfort in your chest -Some of that discomfort is a normal part of heavy breathing but a large part comes from -breathing muscles that have been chronically braced The next time you perform aerobic -exercise like running jumping rope cycling or climbing stairs zero in on this pain You can -retire it if you just stop bracing the muscles responsible It is an anguished panicked reaction -to exertion that is unnecessary Part of this is an innate fear of pushing the heart and lungs -too far -While exercising imagine that you will have to keep up this high level of respiratory output -for the rest of the day To do this you would need to make your breathing as efficient as -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -possible Imagine resting in action accepting heavy cardiovascular demand and relaxing in -the face of it That burning sensation in the center of your chest and around your ribs will -fade away as you teach yourself to turn it off -Wolves and wild dogs often travel tens of miles daily while foraging They are designed for -sustained daily activity Dog trainers know that daily exercise is the most important aspect of -rehabilitating problem dogs This is because being deprived of activity without an outlet for -their natural energy increases neurotic defiant and aggressive behaviors Dismally many -people dont bother to walk their dogs Professionals dog behaviorists like Cesar Millan argue -that walking a dog for less than sixty minutes every day is abusive Millan walks his dogs ina -large pack for at least four hours a day He doesnt do this for their physical health as much as -their mental health How much exercise is enough for humans It isnt clear but many experts -and the US Department of Health and Human Services recommend at least minutes of -moderate aerobic activity every day would say that we should shoot for more like -You need a daily outlet for your natural energy just as much as any other mammal Every -day you skip cardiovascular exercise you are mismanaging your body and compounding your -stress social defeat and pain To stay motivated make your workouts fun varied and as -discussed in Chapter not too strenuous Listen to an audiobook a podcast or your favorite -music Become interested in and build skill at as many different forms of exercise as you can -Try out different sports gymnasiums and classes in your neighborhood see table below Ask -your friends if you can join them in their routines Dance and practice yoga every day Lift -weights using the antilaxity and antirigidity techniques Get out for a walk using the exercises -in Chapter Free yourself from that selfimposed kennel -elieleleaccleaktcmmm Cycling Cross Country Dancing Elliptical Hiking Jogging -Mountain Climbing Jumping Rope Rowing Running -Skateboarding Swimming Stair Climbing Trampoline Walking -Group Sports Badminton Baseball Basketball Boxing Cheerleading Cricket -Dodgeball Football Handball Hockey Lacrosse Martial Arts -Racquetball Rugby Soccer Softball Skating Skiing Tennis -Volleyball Wrestling -Group Classes Aquarobics Body Works Bootcamp Calisthenics Cardio -Kickboxing Cross Fit Dance Jazzercise JiuJitsu Karate Krav -Maga Muay Thai Pilates Salsa Dancing Spinning Step Aerobics -Tae Kwon Do TRX Turbo Kick Water Aerobics Yoga Zumba -Table Forms of cardiovascular and aerobic exercises to try -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Dont fear stress Apprehension of stress makes it more physiologically detrimental -e Wecan respond to stressors in a healthy way by considering them challenges challenge -response or in an unhealthy way by considering them threats threat response -e Whether your unconscious mind responds to stressors with the threat response or the -challenge response may be determined by the quality of your breathing -e Virtually all drug use leads to withdrawal symptoms that weaken you as a person -e People who mix socializing with drugs unknowingly brace various muscles and organs -for sustained periods -e Video games loud music and violent suspenseful entertainment lead to lowlevel panic -that can become chronic -e You are on no chill mode And you need to come off it -e Consider taking one day a week perhaps Sundays to unwind and remove yourself from -all worries work rushes and social conflicts A whole day of rest serves as a -macrobreak Committing of your life to restorative relaxation can make a huge -difference over time -e Regular exercise releases endorphins and enhances our mood keeping our minds from -running our bodies into the ground -e Anxiety is your bodys way of begging you for exercise -AAG -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -Chapter Endnotes -Ellis B J Jackson J J Boyce W T The stress response systems -Universality and adaptive individial differences Developmental Review -Wingfield J C Donna L Maney Creagh W Breuner Jacobs J D Sharon Lynn -Ramenofsky M Ralph D Richardson Ecological bases of hormonebehavior -interactions The Emergency Life History Stage American Zoologist -Marks Nesse R Fear and fitness An evolutionary analysis of anxiety -disorders Ethology and Sociobiology -Miller D B OCallaghan J P Neuroendocrine aspects of the response to stress -Metabolism Clinical and Experimental Suppl Sapolsky R M Krey L C -McEwen B S The neuroendocrinology of stress and aging The glucocorticoid cascade -hypothesis Endocrine Reviews Lovallo W R Gerin W -Psychophysiological reactivity Mechanisms and pathways to cardiovascular disease -Psychosomatic Medicine -LeDoux J The emotional brain The mysterious underpinnings of emotional life -Simon and Schuster -Bremner J D Does stress damage the brain Biological Psychiatry -LeDoux J Fear and the brain Where have we been and where are we going Biological -Psychiatry -LeDoux J Anxious Using the brain to understand and treat fear and anxiety -Penguin Books -Sapolsky R M Behave The biology of humans at our best and worst -Penguin Press -Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science -Sapolsky Behave The biology of humans at our best and worst -Sapolsky R M Romero L M Munck A U How do glucocorticoids influence -stress responses Integrating permissive suppressive stimulatory and preparative actions -Endocrine Reviews -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Nelson E E Winslow J T Nonhuman primates Model animals for developmental -psychopathology Neuropsychopharmacology -McGonigal K The upside of stress Why stress is good for you and how to get good -at it Penguin Random House -Brooks A Get excited Reappraising preperformance anxiety as excitement -Journal of Experimental Psychology -McGonigal The upside of stressWhy stress is good for you and how to get good at it -Glass D C Reim B Singer J E Behavioral consequences of adaptation to -controllable and uncontrollable noise Journal of Experimental Social Psychology -Minor T R Jackson R L Maier S F Effects of taskirrelevant cues and -reinforcement delay on choiceescape learning following inescapable shock evidence for a -deficit in selective attention Journal of Experimental Psychology Animal Behavior Processes -Sapolsky R M Why zebras dont get ulcers Henry Holt and Company -Gude D Hair loss A harbinger of morbidities to come International Journal of -Trichology -Testino G Leone S Borro P Treatment of alcohol dependence Recent -progress and reduction of consumption Minerva Medica -Elliott S Edmonson E The new science of breath Coherent breathing for -autonomic nervous system balance health and wellbeing Coherence Press -SanchisGomar F ParejaGaleano H Cervellin G Lippi G Earnest C P -Energy drink overconsumption in adolescents implications for arrhythmias and other -cardiovascular events Canadian Journal of Cardiology -Christakis D A Ramirez J S B Ferguson S M Ravinder S Ramirez J How -early media exposure may affect cognitive function A review of results from observations in -humans and experiments in mice PNAS -Gentile D A Bender P K Anderson C A Violent video game effects on -salivary cortisol arousal and aggressive thougthts in children Computers in Human Behavior -Chapter The Amygdala Cortisol and Chronic Stress -Anderson C A Bushman B J Effects of violent video games on aggressive -behavior aggressive cognition aggressive affect physiological arousal and prosocial behavior -A metaanalytic review of the scientific literature Psychological Science -Babyak M Blumenthal J A Herman S Khatri P Doraiswamy M Moore K -Krishnan K R Exercise treatment for major depression Maintenance of therapeutic -benefit at months Psychosomatic Medicine -Gremeaux V Gayda M Lepers R Sosner P Juneau M Nigam A Exercise -and longevity Maturitas -Boecker H Sprenger T Spilker M E Henriksen G Koppenhoefer M Wagner K J -Valet M Berthele A Tolle T R The runners high opioidergic mechanisms in the -human brain Cerebral Cortex -Anderson E Shivakumar G Effects of exercise and physical activity on anxiety -Frontiers in Psychiatry -Millan C Peltier M J Cesars way The natural everyday guide to understanding -correcting common dog problems Random House -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -Go to your bosom knock there and ask your heart what it doth know William Shakespeare -Beauty is not in the face beauty is a light in the heart Kahlil Gibran -Most of us are unable to localize the sensations of turmoil within our bodies They compel us to -harbor destructive thoughts and take selfdestructive actions though we usually have little -awareness of the feelings themselves This is especially true for the sensations from the thorax -and abdomen was mostly blind to the constriction in the various organs within my chest and -gut which was unfortunate because recognizing individual sensations and tracing them back to -their physical origin is key to disrupting them And so whenever you feel particularly stressed -take it as an opportunity to lie down and become immersed in the physical manifestations of -your worry Paying attention to the internal state of your body is called interoception This -chapter will teach you how to create an interoceptive watchtower from which to monitor your -autonomic space -Illustration A Digestive tract B Crosssection of the heart C Surface of the heart D Stethoscope -How to Find and Quell the Pain in Your Heart and Gut -Your brain receives a continuous feed of sensory information from each muscle and most -tissues in the body In the cortex this incoming information participates in and contributes to -your conscious workspace and train of thought Sensations of pain coactivate with whatever -else is on your mind and influences it to be more negative In other words pain twists and -distorts your thinking Most of us dont pay attention to these data streams and as a result -develop a conscious blind spot scotoma for them When you are blind to them they control -you without your awareness But if you work on cultivating interoception and combine this -with relaxed diaphragmatic breathing you gain the ability to send data back to these tissues -This feedback calms them while denying them a hold over you -The insula and anterior cingulate cortex receive many of the interoceptive signals your -body sends to your brain Neuroscientists think of these areas as pain areas because they light -up in a brain scanner when participants experience discomfort These two areas respond to -nausea stomach pain fullness air hunger food hunger sexual longing vibrations menstrual -cramps butterflies in the stomach shortness of breath and much more They also react to -social pain triggered by separation exclusion persecution or disapproval You should be able -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -to imagine these feelings You are imagining them within your insula and anterior cingulate -Inhabit these brain areas and watch the imagery that unfolds there nonjudgmentally -Focusing on the minutiae of your physical discomfort is the only way to rein it in As we -have seen bodily pain involves partially contracted muscles that have reached a state of -hyperfatigue By paying attention to them you can teach them to relax Search for constriction -pressure aching and tingling When you find them remind yourself that they are just physical -sensations They are nothing to fear they are fear itself Remember the corpse pose and -body scan activities that we performed in Chapter to search for skeletal muscle bracing -Well the next exercise will feel similar but focuses on bracing awareness for your smooth and -cardiac muscle your internal organs -Interoception Exercise Listen to Your Heart and Gut -Find a dark room where you can lay down on the floor and feel totally secure Bring a breath -metronome with you Bed down and try to relax completely Notice that partially contracted -and quivering muscles in your chest and abdomen keep you from being able to relax -Build as much mental imagery around these sensations as you can Imagine their location in -space Label where you feel them anatomically in your body Track their fluctuations in -intensity through time Notice how the separate modules interact and affect each other -Pay close attention to how paced breathing calms them Work on gaining bidirectional -control over these modules in the same way that you can alternate between tensing and -relaxing your hand -Learn to focus completely on the discomfort feeling it in its totality without panicking -bracing hyperventilating repositioning or giving in to the temptation to stop the exercise -This builds confidence in the face of internal tumult When you tolerate the discomfort and -are even able to feel comfortable relaxed and safe within it you are taking the major step -toward vanquishing it You are invalidating it by proving to your body that it is unnecessary -You want your body to believe that these pains have no informational value because they -contribute nothing to the way you should perceive your environment or the way you should -act within it -After several minutes lying in the dark focusing on your heart and gut you should -experience your body as a pulsating sea slug like the one we discussed in Chapter Ride with -the painful retractions dont fight them Depersonalize and detach from them Dont accept -them as part of yourself -The autonomic nervous system is composed of motor neurons that send messages to -involuntary muscles and glands It was long described as functioning below the level of -consciousness This is why medical researchers believed there was no way to deliberately calm -these organs Thankfully recent biofeedback research has shown that we can gain some -voluntary control over autonomic governance It has also shown that merely sensing these -pains is key to relaxing them At first you will find that many of the sensations am describing -are impenetrable to introspection This is because they are preverbal and nondeclarative -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -You dont yet have words for them and how they affect you But just because you cannot -articulate how they make you feel doesnt mean you cant feel them if you concentrate -Think about the aspect of you that is shocked when you are immersed in frigid water or -woken up by an alarm clock set too loud It should run down the midline of your body from -your neck to your lower spine by way of your chest and gut When you locate the physical -borders of this sensation you will have found your trauma core the cause of internal agitation -that makes you feel panicky unbalanced and demoralized Once you have found it console it -Usually you try to rise above the pain pretending that it is not there Dive down into it -Incorporate the meditative and mindfulness practices from Chapter into this search -While alone with your pain you will experience boredom and impatience It will make this -exercise frustrating until you realize that the boredom is restlessness stemming from the same -visceral unease you are trying to dispel Meditating on your bodily pain can be mundane or it -can be an exciting adventure if you approach it with shoshin Shoshin is a concept in Zen -Buddhism meaning beginners mind It denotes an openness curiosity eagerness and a lack -of preconceptions when exposed to something familiar Imagine yourself as a psychonaut a -sailor of the soul exploring your mind and body The more you map the territory and -understand the lay of the land the better you will control your emotions -Scientists know babies to be experts at selfsoothing They listen attentively to their -sympathetic nervous system We forgot how because as we grew up we realized that paying -attention to our internal milieu demands attentive resources And attention is limited Babies -cannot change their environment so they are forced to change their response to it They have -no recourse but to calm themselves Children and adults on the other hand learn to change -their environment and manipulate people to fix a situation Unfortunately by age five we think -that the best way to selfsoothe is to bring about an increase in our social standing You can -however revert to infancy bypass the ego and the social machinations and take a shortcut -straight to the center of the problem by confronting the tumultuous activity within your body at -its source -Cats often sit close to a wall and stare at it for minutes at a time used to think this was -absurd However since expanded my interoceptive senses find myself doing this sort of -thing frequentlystaring blankly at nothing It is not boring to stare at a wall if you are also -gazing into your visceral milieu The more time you spend surveying and relaxing the activity in -your spine stomach heart face vocal tract intestines and genitals the more you can cleanse -them with peace -Myofascial Release for the Gut -used to get regular pangs in my stomach during social confrontations These felt like electrical -shocks a few inches behind the belly button Such pangs are caused by the clenching of the -abdominals along with smooth muscle of the gastrointestinal tract They are responsible for the -sinking sensation in the pit of the stomach resulting in a strong predilection to submit You lose -all will to fight when intense gut pain kicks in -This visceral pain is due to the activation of latent trigger points resulting in the -stimulation of pain receptors in and around the digestive pathway These receptors span the -thorax abdomen and pelvis They respond to stretching swelling and oxygen deprivation -The areas are in chronic pain because they have been braced for so long Some experts believe -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -that irritable bowel syndrome and a host of other gastrointestinal problems are exacerbated by -bracing In the next exercise we will use compression to massage these bracing patterns away -Interoception Exercise Compressing the Internal Organs -Lay over a large firm ball and press it gently into your stomach A soccer ball volleyball or -basketball work well You can do this lying on the floor or in bed The easiest way is to stand -or kneel by the corner of a bed Place the basketball on that corner of the mattress and drape -the upper half of your body over it Either way you want to have good control of how deeply -you press the ball into your abdominal cavity It is important to be stable and comfortable -The discomfort that this causes in your stomach may be very intense at first Proceed gently -and focus on applying firm pressure to the abdomen from the bottom of the ribs to the -pelvis Pressure applied to the lower ribs will also help stretch and manipulate the -diaphragm You should notice that the tension in your stomach will not give in to the ball -unless you are breathing slow smooth breaths Relax pace your breaths and use abdominal -compression to unwind the vice clenching your innards -This practice pulls stress out of your body by its roots Once you use a basketball to rid your -midsection of the aching you will vastly reduce your potential for experiencing gutwrenching -pain The first time deeply compressed my abdomen was immediately reminded of the long -forgotten feeling of being kicked in the stomach in second grade This indicated that was -finding and releasing points of tension that had been harboring since early childhood As -continued the searing discomfort in my stomach caused me to have flashbacks to other long -forgotten traumatic episodes My brain was asking Hey are you sure its okay to relax the -abdomen to this extent given these memories When your brain asks you this question -reassure it that it is aokay This gut compression technique is powerful because if you can get -rid of the pain in your gut you will become far less susceptible to intimidation -The gastrointestinal tract from mouth to anus is feet long It is lined by a vast network -of neurons which form a regional administrative center This amounts to a miniature brain with -over million neurons This is more than the brain of a mouse which has around million -neurons This miniature brain is needed to perform various digestive behaviors with which your -mind cannot be bothered Chances are your guts brain has an anxiety disorder and it braces -the muscles it controls endlessly Compressing away its bracing patterns may be the best way to -communicate to this entity that there is no reason for it to be anxious -Heart Rate -The heart is another entity within your body that you need to convince to loosen up and -simmer down Like the gut the heart has its own neural network containing over -neurons This is less than a fruit fly but more than a snail This minibrain -allows the heart to perceive and process information make decisions and even demonstrate a -form of learning and memory More than likely your hearts brain like your guts brain has -become convinced that your environment is lifethreatening We need to trick our hearts into -believing the opposite -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -The heart is a hollow muscular organ that uses repetitive rhythmic contractions to keep -blood pumping through the bodys blood vessels Even some of the simplest invertebrate -animals have hearts Mollusks like clams arthropods like insects and even many types of -worms have them Some animals even have multiple hearts The human heart beats slightly -more than once every second about times per day as many as billion times over -ones lifetime Each beat is powerful enough to send blood spurting up to three meters if -the aorta is severed Every hour it dispenses around gallons of blood Thats gallons -per day It works relentlessly It works so much and so hard that it is imperative that it -works efficiently -The heart is composed of a special type of muscle called cardiac muscle which operates -involuntarily Unlike skeletal muscle and the smooth muscle of the gut the heart muscle is -myogenic which means that it can contract and relax without any input from the brain It -accomplishes this coordination of contraction and relaxation through the sinoatrial and -atrioventricular nodes These pacemakers are controlled by the sympathetic and -parasympathetic systems which act as accelerator and decelerator respectively A heart that is -biased toward acceleration is inefficient In a sense your lifes trauma is manifested to the -extent that your heart beats faster than it should This is expressed in the following formula -Your current heart rate Your optimal heart rate Accumulated life trauma -The average resting heart rate is to beats per minute Stress and anxiety cause the -heart to receive too much adrenaline which increases heart rate Chronically high levels of -circulating adrenaline cause tachycardia meaning that the heart beats at an unsustainably -fast rate There is a single maximally efficient heart rate for your body size and body -composition Unfortunately because nearly all humans are inveterate worriers our hearts beat -well above this optimal rate Clinically tachycardia is defined as a resting heart rate above -beats per minute but most of us are on a tachycardia continuum Even though your heart -rate may be well under beats per minute it is likely above its optimal rate -Elevated heart rate is perhaps the most detrimental form of sympathetic upregulation -Technically it is a type of stress cardiomyopathy Aggression anger hate fear guilt violence -and drugs all push your heart further from its ideal pace The faster it beats the more fatigue it -experiences Fascinatingly the short rests between beats give your heart the microbreaks it -needs to regenerate its strength But if your heart is always beating quickly it misses out on -these breaks When stress is chronic the microbreaks are vanishingly short and the heart can -never rest The absence of downtime places excessive pressure on the muscles of the heart and -the surrounding blood vessels This becomes a neverending marathon during which the -hearts tissues accumulate physical damage Unremitting elevated rate forces the heart to -destroy itself It slowly tears its own tissues apart Chances are right now you are overworking -your heart -The strain of chronic accelerated heart rate causes morbidity Morbidity is the condition of -being diseased by ailments that reduce longevity It is the extent to which we have one foot in -the grave Morbidity from elevated heart rate excessive cortisol and stressrelated bracing is -eating your body and soul alive Watching that scary movie doing that line of cocaine and -throwing a tantrum against your coworker all contribute to terminal decline When the heart is -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -made to work harder than it should for extended periods it does not receive adequate oxygen -or nutrients and this can result in pain known as angina Heart pain and the accompanying -heart problems have been strongly associated with hyperventilation This provides you with -yet another good reason to breathe slowly and smoothly through your nose -Diaphragmatic breathing may be the best way to get your heart to assume that your -present reality is safe When you take deep breaths and override the bodys preferred -breathing style you may feel small bursts of panic and a strong impulse to switch back to -shallow breathing An acceleration in heart rate is partially responsible for this panic Resist the -temptation to revert to shallow breathing As you notice your heart speed up mentally -reassure it Hey theres nothing wrong Im just taking deeper breaths -As you breathe at longer and longer intervals your heart will try to warn you that what -youre doing is dangerous It assumes that you are ignoring the hostilities of your environment -and overriding its defense mechanisms This is why many patients relive past trauma while -performing diaphragmatic breathing in clinical settings In fact therapists ask their patients to -discuss the psychological associations that come to mind during abdomen expansion including -selfimage emotional release and vulnerability As you calmly and assuredly breathe through -these you heal yourself By teaching your heart that long deep breaths are safe you also teach -it that a slower heart rate is safe -Using a Stethoscope to Find Inner Peace -Because your ticker is overworked it hurts Nature programmed our hearts to transmit a pain -signal when beating at a higherthanoptimal rate It communicates to the animal that it is -functioning at a level of output that cannot be sustained indefinitely without serious functional -compromises The painful sensations emanating from your heart make it a fly drowning in -ointment This is the discomfort that we try to use liquor smoking shopping unhealthy food -risky sex and overstimulating media to cover up But because the brain interprets your hearts -pain as delocalized and diffuse you dont even recognize it as coming from the heart -As with the diaphragm normally you cannot hear or feel your heart consciously so you -are blind to your own nervous systems two most fundamental signals Heart rate controls and -modulates behavior in countless ways but for some reason nature decided to mask its rate -from our awareness We can only feel it if it is beating in response to intense fear or -excitement Even then we usually do not pay attention How can we follow our heart if we are -completely habituated to it -Spend and buy yourself a stethoscope online Use it as a direct line to your heart As -you listen to your stethoscope you will come to realize that your heart is like a fearful little -animal inside your chest Cravings for dopamine cause us to excite it abuse it poke at it and -sensitize it further to fearful stimuli However merely listening to it beat will desensitize you to -the negative sensations emanating from it -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -Interoception Exercise Listen to a Stethoscope to Desensitize -Yourself to Your Heartbeat -Find a safe place to listen to your heart with a stethoscope Place the bell in the middle of -your chest directly on the skin What is your first impression of your heartbeat Does it feel -uncomfortable Does it feel like it is beating too fast Many people feel that each beat is -accompanied by discomfort You can overcome this by practicing paced breathing while -being exposed to your heartbeat -Imagine that you are breathing in and out through the area surrounding your heart This will -focus awareness on the heartbeat Notice your tendency to switch to shallow breathing -whenever your heart speeds up Next notice how a particularly heavy or painful heartbeat -makes you switch from exhalation to inhalation Do not let these small intrusions control -your breathing Your inhalations and exhalations should be influenced by air hunger not by -heart rate -At first the pain of listening to my heart made me project my discomfort onto the -stethoscope itself felt like hated it Many people that have worked with experience this -too This happens because whatever you think about when you feel pain in your heart can -easily become an object of animosity Your mind will appraise this external object as the -problem transferring the pain onto it Stop the overreacting Face the pain Coexist with it non -resistantly Eat it with a knife and fork When started each heartbeat felt like a mousetrap -snapping shut inside my chest After several weeks of Exercise my heartbeat became the -pleasurable and uplifting thump of a drumbeat -As you listen to your heart try focusing on your interbeat interval This is the length of -time between successive heartbeats With time you will start to notice when two heartbeats -have a longer interval between them than the beats that came prior This is when you have -relaxed Other times this interval collapses and becomes shorter The interval will decrease -after a stressful thought Concentrate on making the interval as long as possible In doing this -you will be programming yourself for a slower resting heart rate and providing your heart with -a longer rest period -As you listen through the stethoscope notice that the sound of each heartbeat coincides -with a faint feeling in your chest The stethoscope makes this invisible sensation apparent This -pairing constitutes a form of biofeedback that allows you to understand what your heartbeat -feels like so that you can recognize it in the future even without the auditory cues of the -stethoscope This will help you develop a sense of how fast it is beating Youll be able to -compare the magnitude of the stressors in your environment to the rate of your heart to -determine whether the two are commensurate You should find that your heart is beating in a -way that is out of proportion with most experiences Unless you are having lots of fun or getting -lots of exercise you can allow your heart to beat as slowly as possible -You can use breathholds like those in Exercise to accentuate the sensations coming -from your heart Studies show that meditative breath holding makes participants more aware -of their heartbeat and helps them calm the sympathetic nervous systems reaction to it by -activating the vagus nerve -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -The more time you spend listening the more you will ask yourself There is nothing here -for me to be afraid of so why does it hurt and why is it beating so fast This is the magic -question and if interrogated enough you will have an emotional epiphany that only this -experience can provide Repeatedly inhaling smoothly through several heartbeats in a row -then exhaling through several in a row teaches the heart and your psyche to let go of trauma -recommend performing diaphragmatic breathing for at least five minutes every night before -bed with your stethoscope on find this helps me fall into a deep restful sleep -To Overcome Rapid Heartbeat You Must Overcome Fear of Death -Think of the life you have lived until now as over and as a dead man see whats left as a bonus and live it -according to Nature Love the hand that fate deals you and play it as your own for what could be more fitting -Marcus Aurelius -Interoceptive exposure to your own heart can be dreadful In attending it you will come face to -face with your instinctual fear of death Fear of dying perpetuates much of your hearts -unnecessary exertion The way to escape this situation is to reach full peace with the idea of -dying Do it now Die before you die Then you will have already done it and wont have to -spend a lifetime in fear of it The pain in your heart warning you of impending death will no -longer be informative -Meditate on your mortality Take the time now and convince yourself that you have had a -good life that you have done many worthwhile things and if you were to have a fatal heart -attack this instant you would still feel whole complete and satisfied with your time on the -planet In Hinduism it is common to look forward to death and the liberation it brings is known -as moksha Death is thought to release us from our mundane mortal minds and introduce us to -our permanent essence Moksha and the concepts in the next activity helped me come to grips -with my own eventual demise -Interoception Activity Embrace Your Eternal Nature -have recently found some consolation in the idea of the eternal moment and hope you -can too Modern theoretical physicists as well as philosophers differentiate between -presentism and eternalism The adherents of presentism see the present moment as the only -time that is real They figure that if something happened in the past it is over now -nonexistent and generally unrecoverable Eternalists on the other hand believe that all -moments in time are equally real Eternalists believe that there is no objective present and -that our subjective sense that the past is gone and irretrievable is illusory prefer eternalism -Eternalism is sometimes referred to as the block universe theory because of its description -of spacetime as an unchanging fourdimensional block If you apply this to the human -condition it tells us that all existence in time is equally valid Therefore if you existed at all -you will always exist In other words time is a dimension that our experience is embedded -within but if you could move outside of time and look down on it you could see the entire -timeline and all of your human existence any second of which is just as legitimate as any -other So every one of the moments you ever experienced every decision and every -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -thought may be eternal happening right now and recorded somewhere in an immutable -temporal continuum This may all sound pretty abstract but why not let it give you some -comfort if not let it make you feel immortal -Allow me some poetic license for the next two paragraphs -We dont fear or mourn the billion years of nonexistence before our birth Why should we -fear the trillions of years that will come after our death We shouldnt especially because -we will continue on in a different form As denizens of planet Earth we are part of the -universe In a very real sense our conscious minds are manifestations of the universe -experiencing itself After we die the universe doesnt die And so we should recognize our -larger identity that we are not only intertwined with all of reality but we are all of reality -There will be an end to our human story and our mortal melodrama However death is not -final We are recycled back into the biosphere resubsumed by the cosmos The matter and -energy that was us will be and already has been transformed into other things Things that -will inevitably interact with the repercussions of the good deeds we performed while alive -Every atom that has ever been a part of you every molecule you have eaten drank or -inhaled belongs to a larger more beautiful system Even the nonmaterial information in your -brain body and DNA belongs to this system Your cerebral cortex will decompose But we -dont need the autobiographical memories inscribed in our brains neural networks to persist -meaningfully You are not merely the character that you have played in your short lifetime -Like a person reading an engrossing novel dont get so wrapped up in your lifes narrative -that you forget your larger role your more permanent selfhood We are much more than a -bag of bones flesh and ego Think of death as an expansion of your sense of being In playing -a part in the macrocosm we are it We are other people we are the birds bees and black -holes You wont fear death if youre aware of your larger eternal identity -was dragged around by a large Rottweiler as a fouryearold The dog grabbed me by the -hood of my jacket and pulled me around a backyard forcefully for a few minutes believe the -dog assaulted me because didnt act afraid of it While the dog was dragging me realized -that might die or be badly hurt felt that if surrendered it might let up Because was -cringing and my heart was racing my body language caused the dog to sense that submitted -and that it won It stopped shortly thereafter It is common for dogs to stop attacking people -that fully capitulate Frightful situations like this one impel an archetype deep in our nervous -system Full submission can save me from death -The ultimate source of submissiveness is that we feel the need to display fear of physical -attack so that our attacker will decide to be merciful We are afraid that if our heart stays slow -and calm our persecutor will kill us for our insolence This is because when our heart speeds -up we involuntarily choke up tremble and give numerous other nonverbal signals of submission -We must renounce the belief that submissive fear will buy us leniency To do so imagine -being viciously attacked by a stranger or a predator Neither panic nor submit Simply imagine -yourself swiftly but calmly taking the steps needed to extract yourself from the danger -Imagine someone or something trying to kill you while you retain total peace Your tormentor is -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -stabbing you and you speak to them plainly and honestly while forcefully grabbing the wrist -that holds the knife The beasts are taking bites from your body and you deftly deliver carefully -placed blows to their noses Your attitude need not be defiant or combative It must simply be -valorous and lionhearted Right now commit to dying fearlessly -Chronic accelerated heart rate is a state of vigilance guarding against impending death -But we generalize this to everyday life by resorting to high resting heart rates with our bosses -friends and family We are living as if we are about to die Using the stethoscope you are -feeling the very essence of your apologetic submissiveness Know that your racing heart is not -helping to keep you alive Rather it is keeping you in the land of no tomorrow Surrendering -your cardiac unrest will extract you from a world of death struggle for survival and animals -ravaging and annihilating each other -The next time you feel your heart beating out of your chest focus on it Accept it -befriend it love it It is not there to hurt you It is literally giving you energy and power Within a -few moments you can transform that throbbing feeling of impending doom into motivation -People with anxiety tend to be afraid of the sensations involved in stress Dont let adrenaline -scare you Desensitize yourself to the discomfort by not overreacting to it as you did in -Exercise Learn to delight in it and feel comfortable in uncomfortable physiological states -Rather than being afraid of the energy think about how you are going to channel it -Vigorous exercise can raise your heart rate to around its maximum But when you exercise -vigorously you dont feel crushed by panic Instead you feel vitalized It feels normal for your -heart to speed up during exercise But when your heart speeds up in the absence of exercise -you become afraid When this happens tell yourself that your body preparing for exercise is -nothing to fear The more you exercise the more comfortable you become with the sensations -involved in rapid heart rate Keep in mind that athletes have lower resting heart rates often as -low as to beats per minute Consistently training the heart muscle causes it to push more -blood out with each beat meaning that it does not need to beat as often The more exercise -you get the slower your heart will beat -Take the warrior approach to panic Luxuriate in the thumping Instead of causing you to -withdraw in resignation the beating should make you approach in ascendency As discussed in -the last chapter appraise it as rising to a challenge rather than descending to a threat -Afterward if you need to take a run around the neighborhood to burn up any remaining -negative energy -Vagal Tone is a Measure of Calm -This section and the next will introduce two more medical concepts vagal tone and HRV They -add detail to the present discussion and highlight the physiological benefits of paced breathing -Vagal tone is a measure of the activity of your vagus nerve the nerve responsible for -calming you The vagus nerve transmits a relaxing signal from the brainstems medulla -oblongata to much of your body This large diffuse cluster of nerves branches out from the -brainstem down to the bladder affecting several organ systems along the way It affects -the heart spleen bronchioles lungs stomach pancreas liver gall bladder intestines -ureters and more -The vagus nerve also connects the heaas brain with the guts brain and the hearts brain -It calms them Its name comes from the Latin word vagus meaning vagrant or wanderer -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -because it is so long and has so many branches The activity of this nerve calming multiple -organ systems is called vagal tone High vagal tone is associated with autonomic balance -emotional stability lowered inflammation and better cardiovascular health Low vagal tone -causes the opposite -Illustration Path of the vagus nerve from brain to intestines -Interoception Exercise Compressing the Internal Organs -Lay over a large firm ball and press it gently into your stomach A soccer ball volleyball or -basketball work well You can do this lying on the floor or in bed The easiest way is to stand -or kneel by the corner of a bed Place the basketball on that corner of the mattress and drape -the upper half of your body over it Either way you want to have good control of how deeply -you press the ball into your abdominal cavity It is important to be stable and comfortable -You should also try using your fingers to press into your abdomen Situate your hands as in -the illustration below Press your fingertips into your belly especially the area around the -belly button Anywhere that burns lightly should be massaged Compress release repeat -You do not want to do any damage to your internal organs You can use static compression or -active percussion but either way press carefully This is much slower firmer and deeper -than the abdominal percussion from Exercise -Many athletic coaches and trainers recommend a similar gut smash technique to mobilize -the abdominal muscles Some massage therapists call it visceral manipulation People are -using it safely However this technique like many of those in this book has not been tested -on large populations in medical studies A certain proportion of people may seriously injure -themselves using it Again as with all Program Peace exercises you should discontinue and -seek medical counsel if you have any discomfort after performing the exercise -The discomfort that this causes in your stomach may be intense at first Proceed gently and -focus on applying firm pressure to the abdomen from the bottom of the ribs to the pelvis -Pressure applied around the lower ribs will also help you manipulate the diaphragm You -should notice that the tension in your stomach will not give in to the massage unless you are -breathing slow smooth breaths When it does it should feel warm pleasurable and relieving -almost like voiding a full bladder Relax pace your breaths and use abdominal -compression to unwind the vice clenching your innards -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Illustration Visceral massage gently reaches into and compresses internal organs -Mammals have a unique branch of the vagus nerve that supports social engagement -It connects with the larynx to modulate your tone of voice and with the head to make facial -expressions emotionally appropriate When active your vagus nerve makes your voice and face -friendly and approachable When it is at its most active your voice relaxes and you may notice -an improved ability to use melody and prosody When the vagus nerve is active we enjoy a -physiological state that supports spontaneous social engagement and intimacy We feel -outgoing rather than introverted and vibrant without being overly aroused As you might have -guessed the vagus nerve is a pivotal component of the parasympathetic system and is largely -responsible for lowering heart rate breathing rate and blood pressure Vagal tone decreases -heart rate by inhibiting the firing rate of the sinoatrial node the hearts pacemaker Vagal tone -also acts through the phrenic nerve to slow and smoothen the strokes of the diaphragm -When it is active you stop bracing stop feeling the need to send submissive displays and regain -your composure -Low vagal tone makes you feel irritated and restless Vagal tone is reduced when the -amygdala sounds its alarms Many people who live lonely lives also have shorter lives This may -be because loneliness is associated with chronic low vagal tone High vagal tone is the calm -pleasurable feeling you get when petting an animal taking care of small children or looking -after a loved one High vagal tone is correlated with purpose love friendliness compassion -affection and tenderness If you have felt these things before then you know exactly what -vagal tone feels like Imagine that you can feel this branching structure inside you descending -from your emotional brain down to your heart gut and diaphragm You want it to feel warm -and fuzzy as often as possible Allow this feeling to help you debrace -Vagal tone decreases with distressed breathing and increases with diaphragmatic -breathing Slow deep breathing is one of the best ways to stimulate the vagus A range of -biometric responses indicates this For instance diaphragmatic breathing elevates hand -temperature reduces electrodermal response reduces highfrequency beta brainwaves -and increases calming alpha brainwaves It also increases heart rate variability which is our -next topic -Heart Rate Variability HRV -Want to know your level of vagal tone Unfortunately directly measuring vagal tone requires -inserting electrodes into the nerve to test its level of activity Since that requires invasive -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -surgery scientists indirectly but accurately measure vagal tone using the bodys ability to -synchronize heart rate and breathing This is known as heart rate variability or HRV -The concept of HRV along with its relationship to health and relaxation is strongly -scientifically supported and it has become prevalent in stress reduction and selfimprovement -circles The idea is that during negative emotions the hearts rhythm is erratic and disordered -resulting in low HRV During positive emotion the hearts rate increases slightly during -inhalation and decreases during exhalation This equates to high HRV Many -psychophysiologists call this ordered pattern coherence -Heart rate variability is used as an index to measure autonomic imbalance due to trauma -When high it is considered a marker of stress resilience Vagal and HRV dysregulation are -among the main clinical features of complex traumatic syndromes following earlylife -relationship trauma Calm infants have high vagal tone and high HRV They tend to be less -irritable than other infants and have a secure attachment to their mothers Children with high -vagal tone and high HRV have less social inhibition improved mental health and better -emotional regulation -Having a higher HRV is associated with a healthier cardiovascular system improved -executive brain function decreased stress increased immune function improved mood -and overall greater health and longevity HRV declines with age and predicts future health -problems People with relatively low HRV are less likely to recover after a heart attack -Low HRV amplitude correlates with a highly elevated risk of sudden cardiac death coronary -heart disease and mortality from a range of causes -There are accepted ways to raise your vagal tone and HRV First stop obsessing and -ruminating about negative things Studies have found that daily worry is strongly associated -with low HRV Science also recognizes that you can increase HRV by focusing on happy -thoughts deliberately curtailing anger and exercising regularly But there is another way -You can increase your HRV through biofeedback To do this you can purchase a pulse -sensor and the accompanying software for your computer or mobile device The application -shows your heart rate variability and positively reinforces you for bringing it into coherence -This HRV biofeedback has been shown to decrease depression anxiety and stress Take a -guess at how these electronic devices coach you to raise your HRV They do it by providing you -with a breath metronome Breathing deeply at long intervals is effective at increasing HRV -want to encourage you to look into them but you probably dont need to buy an HRV -biofeedback device believe that the paced breathing regimen set out in this book can -dramatically improve your HRV -Many scientists believe that heart rate variability is maximized at around five breaths per -minute ie fivesecond inhalations and sevensecond exhalations Breathing deeply at this -rate allows your heart rate to drop to beats per minute at the end of every exhalation -This drop in heart rate during exhalation gives your heart the microbreak it needs to regenerate -properly and beat sustainably Breathing shallowly at something like breaths per minute -decreases HRV by keeping your heart rate from dropping with every exhalation sacrificing the -critical rest period -Bracing the diaphragm during the exhalation may also cause us to miss that rest period -Breathing Exercise asks you to allow your diaphragm to go limp throughout each exhalation -After you do the work of inflating your lungs the air pressure itself should do the work of -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -deflating them believe that allowing your lungs to deflate passively during exhalation may not -only give your breathing muscles a short respite but may also allow your heart to slow down -during the exhale increasing HRV -The relaxing effects of paced breathing on the heart are also seen in blood pressure -Several experimental studies have published results showing blood pressure to be reduced -when participants breathe at a rate of six breaths per minute with the exhalations longer than -the inhalations In one study paced breathing for merely minutes resulted in elevated -mood higher HRV and lower blood pressure Another study had patients perform paced -breathing twice a day for three months They experienced significant drops in blood pressure -that would be expected in an individual taking one or two blood pressure medications -Dont drive your heart like its a car that you stole Stop redlining downshift and put less -wear and tear on the vehicle -Conclusion -The commotion of distressed breathing causes so many sensations within your chest that it -completely obscures your heartbeat If you cant feel the pain in your heart you cant correct -its overreactions and they will continue to mount When you are ignoring the pounding in your -chest your body is going to assume that this is because your current situation is so desperate -Like running on a broken leg this should only happen during lifeordeath situations never ona -daily basis -Paced diaphragmatic breathing is so smooth and quiet that it allows you to feel your heart -beating in your chest In other words long deep breaths make your heart rate apparent to you -so that you can tell whether it is beating too fast and make the necessary corrections Of -course paced breathing with a stethoscope magnifies this even more Find the pleasure in slow -breathing find the bliss in a slow heartbeat and find the combination of the two as -nourishment -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -Chapter Bullet Points -e Interoception is the ability to perceive the sensations going on within your body -Developing interoception will allow you to learn how to unbrace your internal organs -e Preexisting tension in your abdomen combined with stress causes that sinking feeling in -the pit of your stomach -e Compressing your abdomen with a basketball will relieve this tension and make you -immune to gutwrenching episodes -e Your heart chronically beats too fast causing cumulative damage to it -e If you listen to your heart with a stethoscope you should be able to sense that it is -beating too fast and out of proportion with environmental demands -e Listening to your heart with a stethoscope while paced breathing provides a form of -relief that you cannot get anywhere else -e As you do this imagine breathing into and out of your heart -e Paced diaphragmatic breathing causes your heart to slow your vagal tone and HRV to -increase and your blood pressure to decrease -e Tell yourself that you are the kind of person whose heart beats slowly -e Your thought process is playing a game of table tennis with your diaphragm Your heart -is the ping pong ball Each time the ball strikes a paddle you have a heartbeat Right -now they are playing at a furious pace and none of the players are enjoying themselves -You want to slow them down You want them to be lobbing the ball to each other -keeping an easy volley going and having a fun noncompetitive game -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Schwartz M S Andrasik F Eds Biofeedback A practitioners guide rd ed -Guilford Press -Whatmore G B Kohli D R Dysponesis A neurophysiological factor in -functional disorders Systems Research and Behavioral Science -Longo D Fauci A Kasper D Hauser S Jameson J Loscalzo J Harrisons -principles of internal medicine th ed McGrawHill Professional -Ostchega Y Porter K S Hughes J Dillon C F Nwankwo T Resting pulse rate -reference data for children adolescents and adults United States National Health -Statistics Reports -Miller M A Association of inflammatory markers with cardiovascular risk and -sleepiness Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine Suppl -Clark A L The increased ventilator response to exercise in chronic heart failure -Relation to pulmonary pathology Heart Fanfulla F Mortara A Maestri R -Pinna G D Bruschi C Cobelli F Rampulla C The development of hyperventilation -in patients with chronic heart failure and CheyneStrokes respiration A possible role of chronic -hypoxia Chest -McKeown P The oxygen advantage The simple scientifically proven breathing -technique that will revolutionize your health and fitness Harper Collins -Porges S W DoussardRoosevelt J A Maiti A K Vagal tone and the -physiological regulation of emotion Monographs of the Society for Research in Child -Development -Porges S W The polyvagal theory Phylogenetic substrates of a social nervous -system International Journal of Psychophysiology -Lichstein K L Clinical relaxation strategies WileyInterscience -Elliott S Edmonson E The new science of breath Coherent breathing for -autonomic nervous system balance health and wellbeing Coherence Press -Jonsson P Respiratory sinus arrhythmia as a function of state anxiety in healthy -individuals International Journal of Psychophysiology -Chapter Listen to Your Heart and Gut -Thayer J F Brosschot J F Psychosomatics and psychopathology Looking up -and down from the brain Psychoneuroendocrinology -Appelhans B M Luecken L J Heart rate variability as an index of regulated -emotional responding Review of General Psychology -van der Kolk B A Pelcovitz D Roth S Mandel R S McFarlane A Herman J L -Dissociation somatization and affect dysregulation The complexity of adaptation of -trauma American Journal of Psychiatry Suppl -Luskin F Reitz M Newell K Quinn T G Haskell W A controlled piolet study -of stress management training of elderly patients with congestive heart failure Preventive -Cardiology McCraty R Atkinson M Thomasino D Impact of a -workplace stress reduction program on blood pressure and emotional health in hypertensive -employees Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine -Zulfigar U Jurivich D A Gao W Singer D H Relation of high heart rate -variability to health and longevity American Journal of Cardiology -KristalBoneh E Raifel M Froom P Ribak J Heart rate variability in health -and disease Scandinavian Journal of Work Environment and Health -Brosschot J F Van Dijk E Thayer J F Daily worry is related to low heart rate -variability during waking and the subsequent nocturnal sleep period International Journal of -Psychophysiology -Sutarto A P Wahab M N Zin N M Resonant breathing biofeedback training -for stress reduction among manufacturing operators International Journal of Occupational -Safety and Ergononics -Elliott S Edmonson E The new science of breath Coherent breathing for -autonomic nervous system balance health and wellbeing Coherence Press -Steffen P R Austin T DeBarros A Brown T The impact of resonance -frequency breathing on measures of heart rate variability blood pressure and mood -Frontiers in Public Health -Adhana R Gupta R Dvivedii J Ahmad S The influence of yogic breathing -technique on essential hypertension indian Journal of Physiology and Pharmacology -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -There is something at once sobering and absurd in the extent to which we are lifted by the attentions of others -and sunk by their disregard Alain de Botton -Competition Defeat and Brain Chemicals -For the last million years the dominance hierarchy has been the primary regulator of -primate life This requires monkeys and apes to spend a great deal of their mental energy -making estimates about how they stack up relative to each member of their group But how do -animals reliably make these sorting predictions As this chapter will explain it has much to do -with fluctuations in brain chemicals especially serotonin Animals that win fights or spats -increase their serotonin levels while losing animals lower those levels -In all of us serotonin contributes to feelings of wellbeing happiness relaxation and self -confidence It increases the expectation of social dominance and causes animals to stand up for -themselves When humans or primates take supplements that increase serotonin they have -reduced stress responses to external threats such as pictures of fearful and angry faces There is -reduced serotonin production in panic disorder generalized anxiety disorder and depression -In simple terms low serotonin causes the trivialities of life to terrorize us -In adult primates serotonin levels are more causally related to dominance than body size -or testosterone levels In fact dominant male monkeys have up to twice as much serotonin in -their blood as nondominant ones Similarly humans in leadership positions have higher -serotonin levels than their subordinates One study found that fraternity officers average -higher serotonin levels than other frat members The same pattern is seen in the military -where higherranking officers have more serotonin and in corporate America where higher -ranking employees have more and executives and CEOs have the most -When a dominant primate is overthrown usually after a fight its serotonin levels plunge -while the replacements surges During most exchanges between people there are few overt -hostilities Covert factors such as level of relaxation and verbal fluency determine each persons -relative status If you come across as tenser than the other person chances are you both -perceive this After the encounter your serotonin may lower while theirs rises Being snubbed -or getting negative feedback causes serotonin to drop as does becoming aggressive or angry -On the other hand successful social assertion results in the release of serotonin -Every primate in a troop knows its status relative to every other animal just as high school -students give remarkably consistent rankings for the popularity of their classmates In other -words our brains limbic system paints the world as one big popularity contest Whether you -think others perceive you as having high status is the decisive factor influencing your serotonin -level In other words if you believe others hold you in low regard your serotonin may stay low -Because our brains are wired to derive selfworth from others evaluations we need to push -back against our biology -Many social insect species are born into a caste either the aristocracy or the working class -However a mammal is constantly negotiating its status Do you want to be renegotiating your -rank every day for the rest of your life If not you will have to change your mindset You need -to develop a healthy sense of selfesteem that others cannot push around but also that doesnt -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -involve putting others down or even putting yourself above them What would it take for you to -have optimal selfesteem Lets explore that in the next activity -Serotonin Activity imagine Extreme Superiority -What would be needed for you to feel triumphant How would you feel if you heroically -saved the lives of every person on the planet and are now taking interviews on international -television Imagine that you have been the most charismatic person on earth your entire life -and everyone already expects effortless magnetism from you Imagine being the worlds -most famous superstar or the emperor of the galaxy Imagine being the undisputed boss -gorilla in a jungle full of tiny monkey friends Imagine being thousands of years old the oldest -soul and the wisest most centered person on the planet -Now imagine not being corrupted by this absolute power and being a calm measured -beneficent leader and protector How would all this influence you to hold your body and -face How would your bracing and posture be affected How would you breathe How -would it make you feel deep down in your gut and heart Inner peace at last Can you live -your life feeling this way without needing these outlandish scenarios You can -Serotonin and the Ego -For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled all those who humble themselves will be exalted -Jesus c BCE -The human ego is a specialized neurological system found in all primate brains that causes us to -analyze whether we should be more or less insecure and consequently whether our serotonin -should be lower or higher The monkey that thinks more about their place in the hierarchy has -more objective notions about their station and the social appropriateness of their actions -Consequently a monkey that is highly concerned with its ego may do well relative to the other -members of its troop Hence the ego is sometimes referred to as the monkey mind -In primates serotonin level is also a fertility indicator The most dominant males have the -most offspring Individuals that excel in statusseeking contribute more to the gene pool -Thus we are selfconscious and egoobsessed today because it was good for our ancestors -reproductive success But as modernday human beings we are not looking to maximize our -number of offspring or even our sexual partners What we really want is to be happy without -being controlled by our egos So again we are at odds with our biology -The egotistical thoughts that you experience are not you and you have little control over -them Realize that the negative conceited thinking going on in your head likely has nothing to -do with your aspirational self your true self These thoughts that you think are yours are -generated by your brains instincts to be endlessly competitive The social concerns you find -yourself ruminating about come from this monkey mind and the way it has been programmed -by the other monkey minds you have interacted with up until today The real you is not -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -concerned with reputation and comparison The real you who is now gradually taking over -your thinking process is not even interested -Because this instinct is so strong status is most peoples ultimate goal This means that -they have no overarching ambition in life other than to increase their sense of status relative to -the people around them Once you see this clearly you can become motivated to choose goals -other than the one that natural history selected for us To disconnect from your ego you must -stop feeding it Make your goal to starve it in the following exercise -Serotonin Activity Imagine Extreme Inferiority -Imagine being the weakest most poorly composed person on the planet Imagine that you -have been utterly rejected by your parents every friend and each romantic partner Imagine -that people have been turning away from you in disgust as soon as they see you for years -Imagine that you have been jumped and beaten by a gang of people more than a dozen -times Imagine that you were completely embarrassed in the most humiliating way possible -on a popular reality show and that it is now all over the Internet Imagine having a job in -which the patrons or clients treat you in a haughty and cavalier way Imagine constantly -being treated like you are less than a person -At the same time imagine being at complete peace with all of this Picture being a servant -without a chip on your shoulder a whipping boy with optimal posture or a mistreated but -evercheerful golden retriever Put yourself through the fire by imagining the most -denigrating scenarios you can and in so doing inure your psyche against even the harshest -flames Retain complete cool in these situations without letting them ignite your pain -In Activity asked you to pretend to be superior to everyone and then in activity -asked you to be inferior Surely we are neither But we can intentionally take the best aspects -but none of the negative aspects out of these two extreme scenarios see Table below -Unfortunately many people take the worst from both scenarios and develop a personality as -pernicious to themselves as others They can neither take criticism nor compliments well -They are boastful but also engage in abusive selftalk They love to argue with and gossip about -others but cant stand up for themselves when it counts They apologize when they shouldnt -and often dont apologize when they should Rising above this kind of behavior is as easy as -accepting your shortcomings and being comfortable and calm when confronted with them -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Best Attributes -Selfsatisfied confident assured -assertive effective powerful -honored content spirited -stately selfrespecting valiant -Dominant -calm courageous -Worst Attributes -Selfabsorbed pompous vain -egotistical bossy domineering -despotic privileged scornful -imperious contemptuous arrogant -snooty pretentious -Humble easygoing respectful -nonresistant meek -accommodating amenable -ingratiating patient modest -Inferior -uncomplaining unselfish -Wimpy resigned acquiescent -deferential obedient passive -compliant pliable servile cowardly -doubtful unsure shy timid -pessimistic rootless fearful -Table Take only the best attributes of dominance and submission -Our Brains Ration Serotonin -If animals are selfinterested survival machines then why dont their brains maximize serotonin -production It would undoubtedly be a simple adaptation Animals have not evolved to do this -because it would be dangerous to be a nondominant animal with a dominant mindset If you -are an animal losing a fight it is actually beneficial to lower your serotonin because it makes -you act submissive shielding you from further harm and retaliation When researchers -artificially raise serotonin in a nondominant ape it will act dominant Merely acting dominant -convinces the other monkeys that it is dominant but only for a few days Before long it will be -tested exposed as a pretender and likely injured in the process -Your mammalian brain does not release serotonin and other moodboosting chemicals -dopamine oxytocin and endorphins whenever you want It uses them to reward you for -accomplishing specific survival criteria It releases them in spurts when unconscious brain -circuits perceive an improvement in survival and reproductive prospects Most people are -frustrated by their inability to fulfill the stringent requirements used by their neurochemical -guidance system Frustratingly the criteria for attaining happiness chemicals are usually held -just beyond our reach making it nearly impossible to win and thus impossible to be happy -This is why using our cortex to try to pry serotonin from our subcortex limbic system often -leads to selfdestructive statusseeking -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -Illustration A One wolf left asserting dominance over another right with a threat display Note that -the teeth are bared the ears are flattened forward and the hackles are raised The submissive wolf lowers -its head presses its ears backward splays its legs and turns away to appease the dominant individual -B Similar body language is seen in cats C Amother chimp protects her baby -A signal that is constantly on has no informational value Consequently our serotonin -levels have evolved to fluctuate dramatically and subside quickly Humans spend their entire -day trying to boost their mood from a brain trying to ration the relevant chemicals for the -proper circumstances To transcend this we need to choose to feel satisfied with precisely the -amount of social power we already have By being fully content with whatever level of -dominance you currently have you give your unconscious the same level of security that comes -with being an alpha When other people see this healthy nondominating selfsatisfaction -they will instantly respect you -Changing your outlook on your wins and losses is essential Otherwise no number of -victories will satisfy your serotonin system for long Take pleasure in past accomplishments -no matter how old Think about all the hard work you have put in over your life and feel good -about it Focus your attention on the small triumphs you have every day Once you learn to -celebrate each win for a bit longer you will not find yourself hurried into the next risky scheme -for serotonin Rather than focusing on the most shameful or embarrassing moments -concentrate on the laurels that stick out in your mind We need to take responsibility for -coaxing our brains happiness chemicals to change rather than waiting on the world to change -Serotonin Abundance and Gratitude -all things work together for good Romans -Low serotonin promotes fear fleeing and submission in many animals from reptiles to insects -Even crustaceans such as lobsters utilize serotonin to establish hierarchy We share a common -ancestor with lobsters over million years ago This shows how ancient our status system is -In fact it goes back to worms -In the microscopic roundworm C elegans serotonin acts as a signal that follows the -discovery of a new grazing area When the worm finds food serotonin acts to slow down its -incessant burrowing and activates the muscles used for feeding Depletion of serotonin in these -little guys makes them act as if they were in a lowfood environment and causes them to travel -faster in their search for food It also suppresses mating and egglaying Across species -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -depletion of serotonin convinces animals that they are experiencing food scarcity This action of -serotonin caused scientists to reframe its purpose more broadly It is now conceptualized as an -indicator of the availability of natural resources -We have discussed how serotonin indicates social rank in primates but rank is just a special -case of serotonins broader significance resources Highranking primates have high serotonin -levels because they have priority over mating and food Just as with the worm serotonin -convinces them that it is okay to relax and take advantage of the opportunities available to -them In a sense primates are just hairy fourlegged worms whose social lives have grown -more complex Selfsubordination is just the strategy of a worm that has become convinced -that resource availability is low in the current environment -This knowledge enables us to easily sidestep status as a means for attaining serotonin -Instead we can go to the primordial root of serotonin release feeling like the resources in our -life are abundant The magic button for increasing your serotonin and happiness does not lie in -putting other people down It is found in cultivating gratitude by focusing on the resources -available to you -Scientists have found that gratitude stimulates the brains pathways involved in reward -social bonding and positive appraisal It facilitates the recording and retrieval of positive -memories Gratitude stimulates serotonin release the parasympathetic response and the -actions of the vagus nerve Feeling thankful counteracts tendencies toward social comparison -narcissism cynicism and materialism Lets accomplish all of this by expressing -gratefulness daily -Serotonin Activity Practice Feeling Grateful -What can you feel glad about right now What about the last year yesterday or the present -moment can you savor Fill any sense of scarcity or deficit by changing your mindset from -one of deprivation and neediness to one of abundance fulfillment and plenty Reminisce -about past achievements and cherish moments of joy and connectedness Treasure your -friends and family Feel appreciative of everyone in your life Imagine that you are a content -microscopic worm with all its needs met and not a worry in the world -Common gratitudebuilding exercises include thinking of one thing to be grateful for every -day writing a letter every week thanking someone who helped you or simply using the word -grateful during conversation once a day Exercises like these are some of the most effective -happiness enhancers known to psychology When you do this permit yourself to feel -enthusiastic starryeyed and naively idealistic -Keeping a gratitude journal has shown significant clinical benefits Simply writing down a -few things that you are grateful for one to three times per week can raise serotonin increase -life satisfaction and reduce depressive symptoms Gratitude journaling has been well -researched and validated far beyond anecdotal selfhelp Numerous studies have shown that -journaling for just a few weeks can create dramatic positive changes in brain activity that -remain for months The clinical results have been shown to rival those of antidepressants -The scientific justification for focusing on gratitude is so strong that it encouraged the -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -Program Peace Gratitude Journal which is available on the website But you certainly dont -need that to get started -Serotonin Exercise Make Entries in a Gratitude Journal -Locate a journal find a pad of paper or create a new file on your computer Start making -entries where you write about what you have to be grateful for Here are some questions to -get you started -What can you feel thankful for right now This could be an experience a conversation -a meal or the weather -Has someone done something nice for you recently List people you are grateful for -and explain why -What places are special to you -What have you learned recently that you value -What activities make your life better -What fills you with wonder -What do you have to be optimistic about -What have you accomplished recently that makes you proud -Has someone done something nice for you recently Have you had the opportunity to -help someone else -What are commonplace things you can appreciate right now -As you write allow the gratitude to permeate your body Make an effort to remember what -that feels like and how it affects the bodily systems we have been discussing in this book -thus far Remember this feeling take a mental snapshot of it so you can recall it whenever -you want -As a few examples you may find yourself grateful for the earth the moon the stars the -sun the ocean rain animals pets friends your talents skills and unique qualities setbacks -that have made you stronger your senses fond memories your favorite songs movies or -shows foods the marvel of electricity the worlds food supply and all the kind souls out there -feel especially grateful for the generations of people who made sacrifices for the rights and -freedoms we enjoy today as well as those who made the innovations that resulted in our -modern technology and our extensive knowledge base -Raise Your Serotonin through Cooperation and Creating Value -In primates domination of others is not the only way up Brute physical strength and fighting -prowess are only partial factors in determining status relationships Social bonds friendships -past feats and examples of helping others count as well Most primates will support or even -fight for those that helped them in the past This is why an open conflict between two primates -is usually decided by who has the most allies -It is also important to note that dominance does not equal influence The dominant ape is -often not the most liked or even the most influential politically Dominant primates have -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -fighting prowess boldness and a characteristic that ecologists call resource holding potentia -But this does not necessarily make them trusted or revered In fact the oldest group members -not the alpha are usually the most influential Apes will approach influential members to -moderate spats make decisions or seek comfort -Dominant individuals are fit to be revered to the extent that they serve the interests of -those that revere them If you want to be justified in being calm and nonsubmissive you must -promote positivity in the lives of those that allow you to remain so Thus the next time you -notice an urge to belittle someone remember that bonding with them instead will provide a -larger more sustainable neurochemical boost to happiness and esteem -Because our biological past also rewards camaraderie teamwork and solidarity with a -boost of serotonin there are many healthy ways to get an ego boost from others without -bringing them down Its our job to think creatively about positive ways to interact with others -rather than being destructive -It is usually the youngest and most immature of adult primates that are preoccupied with -establishing dominance Senior group members are less nervous greeting each other and are -more concerned with confirming partnership and cooperation than securing dominance We -love people who cooperate reinforce our confidence and raise our status Consequently if you -want to be loved and held in high regard then work on raising other peoples status in their -own eyes as well as in the eyes of others Offer valid and specific compliments help them argue -their point align your goals with theirs stand up for them laugh at their jokes and beam -zygomatic smiles at them -The higher a chimps rank the more likely it is to support inferior parties during disputes -High levels of serotonin cause us to have compassion for and side with the underdog -Dominant apes routinely break up fights usually intervening on the side of the weaker party -They especially defend the young the wounded and the old In many primates the alpha male -and female play a control role where they mediate equitably restoring peace and security -Interestingly it has been found that the most dominant schoolchildren tend to intervene in -playground fights protect losers and share more with classmates It appears to be some form -of natural noblesse oblige that we lose sight of as adults -Monkeys choose to share with one another frequently both in the wild and in captivity -However they do not share out of fear of reprisal We know this because the most dominant -monkeys are the most generous which is part of what earns them their increased status The -best way for lowstatus individuals to improve their status is to prove their value to the group -Similarly humans gain status by developing a skill that benefits the community This is why we -should be useful rather than pretentious and entitled Dont be the person working on their -wardrobe biceps or tan Instead be the person people go to for help with their problems -Dont focus on status threats Focus instead on expanding your influence and significance to -your community Gain status not from physicality offensives and violations but collaboration -contribution and earned esteem -Serotonin Inhibits Fear and Aggression -Serotonin makes many animals from a range of different taxonomic groups less fearful in -response to perceived threats Much of this is due to its actions at the amygdala the brains -fear center discussed in previous chapters By default the cells of the amygdala are quieted by -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -the inhibitory neurotransmitter GABA This makes it so that the brains panic button must be -pressed firmly for it to actuate This inhibition has been called the GABA guard It is why -something surprising must happen for you to become scared -Serotonin further excites GABAproducing cells in the amygdala increasing this tonic -inhibition and increasing your threshold for getting scared This is why antidepressants like -Prozac a drug that increases serotonin levels at the synapse decreases amygdala activity This -is also one of the reasons dominant animals are not unnecessarily aggressive Their amygdala -and sympathetic system are difficult to highjack The stress hormone cortisol acts in a way that -is opposite serotonin It inhibits GABA cells in the amygdala disabling serotonins ability to calm -the amygdala -Keep in mind that not only is the amygdala the brains fear center but it is also the area -most implicated in the initiation of aggressive acts Thus highstress animals are more -aggressive while animals with high serotonin levels are less aggressive This is why as discussed -in Chapter alpha individuals are not combative but friendly The alpha chimp grooms others -more shares more of its food and patrols the perimeter to keep its friends safe As you might -expect artificially elevating the serotonin in a monkeys brain makes it groom and share more -It is more capable of prosocial behavior because its amygdala has been bound and gagged -To me this strongly suggests that being stuck in fight or flight keeps us from acting altruistically -and civilmindedly -When serotonin levels are low animals show signs of being irritated The threshold for -taking offense drops and fatigue and crankiness rise Low serotonin chimps pick fights and take -unnecessary risks For instance monkeys with low serotonin are more likely to jump between -distant tree branches and lash out in anger Similarly studies have shown that lowstatus men -are much more likely to aggress by yelling insulting or using violence While these behaviors -are meant to increase dominance they often lower status because they result in estrangement -When you find yourself being aggressive acknowledge that you probably wouldnt be as -threatened if your serotonin levels were higher -Now you understand the neurological mechanism for why serotonindepleted animals are -more belligerent their amygdala overreacts to anxietyprovoking stimuli increasing their heart -rate and breathing making them feel cornered Low serotonin is one of the best predictors of -impulsive hostility in mammals Antisocial behavior in humans also increases with decreasing -serotonin This is why feeling rejected leads to aggression think the takehome message is -clear We should avoid destructive rank games We should comport ourselves with the -composure of an alpha monkey with nothing to prove in the company of equals Adopting this -as a lifestyle may be the most successful strategy to achieve sustainable happiness -The Healthy Dominance Mindset -Never depend on the admiration of others There is no strength in it Personal merit cannot be derived from an -external source Epictetus -When a baboon ignores the status hierarchy the members of its troop will kill it Similarly -if you flout the status hierarchy you could alienate yourself from others Therefore dont -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -recommend that you completely ignore or go against it do however recommend reinventing -yourself as a coolheaded alpha It all starts with a little imagination -It can be helpful to internalize the mindset of being everyones parent Parents usually feel -like they dont owe their kids submissive displays Given that a healthy parents dominance of -their offspring is not based on competition but on a desire to teach and guide imagine -yourself to be the Mom or Dad to every person in the world Im not asking you to patronize -people Just be as relaxed as you would be if everyone was your child and you were the only -adult present -You want to be a good parent even to a bad child In Japan mothering has been described -as patiently molding the intractable Children and infants can be inherently stubborn but this -is best countered by persistence and patience Even mother chimps reprimand misbehavior -without bearing any grudge They offer reassurance and comfort after disciplining their young -They do this naturally Use this philosophy with adults Adults can be as tricky and immature as -children but rather than aggress against them patiently mold them Be a father or mother -figure Like a good parent act permissive yet authoritative -Just as a good parent doesnt owe their children submissive displays neither does a warrior -owe their fellows submissive displays They are too busy either risking their life or resting -Take on the rugged exterior of a special forces commando a mythical god or a legendary hero -You have corrupt governments to topple and dragons to slay You have no interest in minor -squabbles and infractions When you are with friends envision yourself as a champion who has -just bested a mythical monster like the Minotaur Jabberwock Medusa or Cerberus Now that -you the gladiator are resting between feats you do not have the time or energy to raise your -eyebrows hyperventilate or smile nervously Feel free to rest between your heroic efforts -Given the chance you would do the selfless intrepid thing so take the heros poise and grace -for yourself right now -My Experience with Serotonin Supplements -What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of -him Viktor Frankl -used to be clinically depressed As a preteen cut myself with knives As a young adult put a -gun in my mouth on a few occasions sat on a story rooftop ledge intending to jump a few -times never followed through with suicide though would tell myself that wanted to tie up a -few more loose ends in my life before fully committed know what serotonin depletion feels -like and that a person is willing to do almost anything to escape it -have never been to a psychiatrist and thus have never been prescribed an antidepressant -but have taken an overthecounter nutritional supplement called SAMe It is similar to other -mood enhancing supplements like HTP Ltheanine and Saint Johns wort and is available at -most drug stores took SAMe for two months in my late s because wanted to find out -what high serotonin levels felt like wanted to experience happiness for a few weeks to -understand it and attempt to recreate it later after going off the drug Without question -it made me a joyous more composed personwhile it lasted -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -Like an antidepressant eg Prozac Zoloft Celexa etc SAMe increases serotonin -availability at the synapse In doing so it also fortifies the GABA guard mentioned earlier -inhibiting the amygdala It takes two weeks for SAMe to elevate mood appreciably but felt -that noticed changes with the first few doses felt lighter on my feet happygolucky and less -stymied by social concerns completely stopped worrying that other people might think that -looked too calm -After days of taking it woke up in the middle of the night feeling euphoric had been -slightly scared of the dark since childhood but suddenly felt completely safe in the dark -walked through my home without turning on any lights found myself sitting on the carpet in -the darkest places and reveling in my fearlessness stayed awake for three hours just walking -around outside in the shadows feeling intensely happy Interestingly even a single course of -antidepressants can end phobias lifelong bad habits negative quirks and antisocial behaviors -Since that night have not been afraid of the dark -That Wednesday night from to am was a vertiginous and ecstatic experience Nothing -remarkable happened and was all by myself but it was the happiest night of my life All my -social status concerns disappeared replaced by pure excitement for the things going on in my -life at the time didnt realize it that night but was filled with pure gratitude -continued to take the drug for six weeks On it was less abusive but more insistent and -decisive was demanding of people but direct rather than passiveaggressive so people -complied would say exactly what was on my mind without sugarcoating it People liked me -more respected me more and treated me like was charismatic was more personable -more outspoken and craved interaction instead of shrinking away from it -While on SAMe started making natural eye contact with people for the first time in my -life even sought out eye contact It came easily and my eyes didnt dart away was more -extroverted and started assuming leadership positions in group projects People also started -laughing at my attempts at humor despite my jokes not changing Confident delivery made all -the difference -When was on SAMe didnt talk or think negatively Bad experiences were very short -lived and didnt keep them active in my mind didnt trash talk others even in my head -Most of my previous insecurities felt like faint memories felt like such a different person -on SAMe that at one point asked myself Why were you so afraid of your friends and -coworkers before -would take one pill in the morning and then come home in the evening needing another -Sometimes would take one and then lie down on the couch and wait for it to kick in As the -stiffness in my brow jaw and sneer melted away could feel the tension in my mind slowly -evaporate This was my first clear indication that facial tension negative emotion and -serotonin all hold hands But the relief was not just in my face My whole body felt light and -easy as if all my trigger points had been excised wondered whether having increased -serotonin levels had healed them -Interestingly serotonin increases the threshold of activation for latent trigger points In so -doing it eases the chakralike modules in the body soothing you Its role in muscular relaxation -is why low serotonin is thought to be a major player in fatigue headaches gut tension heart -problems muscle pain joint pain and diffuse discomfort Now that couldnt feel the tension -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -was less neurotic For example increased serotonin levels are also known to curb nightmares -panic attacks and unhealthy eating and noticed these as additional side effects -A couple of months passed by and a fledgling business venture initiated with some -acquaintances turned sour So sour that felt gutted Within a month my hairline receded by at -least an inch realized that my underlying biological trauma had resurfaced from beneath the -artificially elevated serotonin felt manic anxiety for hours on end and had significant trouble -sleeping knew that mania was one of the listed side effects of SAMe and combined with my -preexisting anxiety it was unbearable went off the drug As the mania went away the -depression crept back in along with all the previous muscular tension The experience showed -me that serotonin does not fix or heal the brain It just alters it temporarily Similarly it does -not fix trigger points or heal chakras It merely subdues them allowing our behavior to be less -affected When went off SAMe noticed my body trembled It was substantial and realized -had to do something about it -Dont Let Yourself Tremble -In the last chapter mentioned a friend of mine who was a drug addict She had a small kitten -that she played roughly with She would squeeze it and tease it and swing it around Some -aspects of this play were pleasant to watch at times but other elements bordered on abuse -At one point she asked whether thought she played too roughly with it The kittens -interminable trembling answered her question for me With beautiful pained eyes this little -furball was constantly glancing around skittishly It shuddered even when standing still startled -at every sound and grew into the most nervous cat have ever seen The truth is the owner -herself trembled and probably wanted her small friend to share her weakness -Muscle trembling is a sign that an animal is under duress It is related to the startle -response discussed in Chapter and similarly signals submission It results in a shaking -quaking and shuddering that makes us feel weak in the knees Chronic distress and social -defeat cause trembling to become more pronounced It is quite common for the runt of the -litter to tremble because it rarely wins in competitive play and often has the lowest serotonin -of the group Trembling destroys fluid measured movement as well as timing and rhythm -It occurs all over the body not just in the voice and hands Dormant or partially contracted -muscles frequently tremble because those muscles can neither relax nor fully contract -making them susceptible to shaking involuntarily between these extremes -When a poorlysocialized Chihuahua is placed among bigger dogs it tends to tremble more -than usual We are all shaky Chihuahuas whether it is perceptible or not Also we tremble for -the same reason to keep others from being threatened by us Trembling goes on in the -background and usually becomes apparent under duress by old age or after a heavy workout -You may think you dont tremble but may notice it when performing small fluid movements -like knitting This is why urge you to spend time focusing your awareness on trembling in an -attempt to get ahold of yourself Working out with light weights Chapter and performing -antilaxity while slow breathing will firm your grip -The slower you move the easier it is to iron out trembling flinching and startling -Mosh Feldenkrais the founder of the Feldenkrais exercise method propounded the idea that -practicing slow movement is essential to grace and psychological wellbeing This general -philosophy dates back hundreds of years to Taoist and Buddhist monasteries and the art of tai -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -chi Tai chi is a superb practice that will smooth your movements and help you tremble less -Some forms encourage you to move mindfully as a needle in cotton and develop the ability -to leverage joints using coordination and relaxation rather than tension strongly encourage -you to take a tai chi class even if you do it from home using free internet tutorials -Serotonin Exercise Take a Class in Tai Chi -Sign up for a tai chi class or simply follow a beginners instructional tutorial video on the -internet Practice the movements and motions while trying to move as smoothly and -gracefully as possible Your motions should feel relaxed fluid frictionless and occur at a -constant rate It can help to act as if there is a slight resistance to every movement as if you -were in a pool of water When you stop bracing notice how you can move more steadily -Sense your body and be present within it -You should be able to concentrate so deeply on even tensionfree movement that your -stream of thought evaporates To do this you must activate very primitive brain structures -Every second of mindful nontrembling movement teaches them that slow steady -movement is safe and wont be misconstrued by others as an attempt at intimidation -Remember that prey rush Predators do not rush because they do not feel threatened or -pressured Move at an unrushed pace that is selfdetermined and centered on unshakable -inner confidence While you practice use the tenets of diaphragmatic breathing optimal -posture and antirigidity -As you become better at diaphragmatic breathing you will become more aware of your -preexisting tendency to tremble Focus selectively on each tremor you notice and try to soothe -it Certainly dont incorporate trembling into purposive movement Dont allow your fingers to -fumble as you use your phone button down your shirt or zip your purse Slow down every -movement and engineer it for precision Hurried hasty movements require bracing ruining -composure and finesse It takes patience to eliminate trembling and establish flowing dexterity -Imagine moving like a sloth slowly deliberately and mistakefree Just like paced breathing -irons the apneic disturbances out of your diaphragms tidal range slow purposive movement -will iron the discontinuities out of your actions -Use Dominant Gestures -Dominant people with high serotonin naturally use commanding gestures Dominance is -conveyed preemptively by actions indicating strength comfort and fearlessness Simply -practicing and automating these gestures will increase your nonverbal dominance thereby -increasing your serotonin Lets get into the specifics Dominant people have towering posture -whereas submissive ones try to hide their height Dominant people lean toward others and -approach others directly rather than haltingly and uncertainly Dominant people initiate -increased proximity more handshaking and a higher frequency of touching So put your arm -around people touch their hands slap their knees rest your arm on their shoulders and strike -their backs when you embrace them -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -As far as general posture we have already discussed retracting the neck flexing the glutes -pressing the hips forward and looking upward among many others When standing place your -feet at least shoulder length apart and dont fidget Refrain from folding your hands in front of -you placing them in pockets or using them to cover your genitals Because submission is -conveyed by the lack of hand movements and hidden hands gradually work more hand -gesticulation into your speech -Bring your hands into full view dont brace them in contorted ways and never worry that -the position of your elbows wrists or fingers will be taken as offensive Finding a comfortable -place for your hands can be difficult The key is not thinking about it or whether people will -perceive it as uppity or proud They are your hands If other people dont like how you are -holding them thats their problem -a de -TS is Ys Nt I -Ilustration Positions for the hands while standing A Holding the fist B Holding the hand C Hands on -the hips D Hands supporting neck retraction E Hands behind the back F Hands simply dangling at the sides -G Kelly Starretts position to train pulling the shoulder blades together scapular retractionshoulder packing -Another technique to increase your nonverbal dominance is reducing reassurances such as -excessive nodding Dont stop nodding altogether but reduce how quickly and how often you -do it Definitely smile at people and laugh at their jokes just dont do it too much Excessive -smiling and laughter directed at anothers efforts at humor are submissive And use the optimal -smile and laugh discussed in previous chapters Nonverbal tics rapid blinking prolonged tilting -of the head touching the back of your neck wringing the hands coughing artificially and -scratching imaginary itches are all nervous behaviors meant to fill space when you dont know -what to do with your body Omit all of that -Televised athletes that suffer anything from a crushing defeat to a narrow loss immediately -take on stereotypically submissive body language Their eyes are downcast their head lowers -they untuck their chin and their entire back curves forward into the characteristic C shape -Most of us take on these postures after somebody else makes a good point in a conversation -No one and nothing should be able to crush your posture Instead think of your favorite -Olympic sport and imagine what stance you would take on if you just won a gold medal in that -event in front of a cheering crowd Use that hourly -As we have seen many submissive displays keep our muscles tense and prevent them from -refreshing hurting us in the long run However some displays communicate modesty without -doing this These include feeling comfortable turning your back to another individual sitting -lower than another or placing yourself in any such position where someone else would have an -advantage if they decided to attack you If you walk into a room and sit in the lowest chair you -make a strong statement showing that being physically lower doesnt make you feel lower -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -frequently sit kneel or lie down next to people that are standing It gets people to lower their -guard When do it it is usually to stretch or allow my muscles to refresh If you do this other -people will get the point and see that you have no fear that others will attack you -In chimpanzees submissive individuals greet dominant ones This involves a sequence of -short shallow pant grunts that probably represent a form of handicapped breathing The -subordinate will assume a position whereby he looks up at the individual he is greeting He -makes a series of deep bows known as bobbing In the words of primatologist Frans de Waal -he practically grovels in the dust The dominant individual will stand up higher and may step -over the individual greeting him When this happens the submissive chimp ducks and puts his -arms up to protect his head Thus even greetings can confirm the dominance relationship -explaining why the alpha is greeted by everyone in the group but greets no one Adults never -greet youngsters and dominants never greet subordinates Ceasing to greet is a direct -challenge What should we take from this think it is gracious to be the one who initiates a -greeting but be aware of your posture and composure when you do so and keep in mind that -you never have to be the one who initiates a hello -Conclusion -used to often feel like prey Walks in metropolitan areas would trigger concerns of being -followed by assailants Being in nature would trigger fears of being stalked by wild animals -Swimming in an ocean lake or even a pool would trigger visions of sharks and prehistoric -marine predators would have frequent nightmares causing me to wake up yelling Every -other night in bed would give myself chills by imagining a home invasion scenario This is all a -distant memory to me now believe that am utterly free of these fears today because my -confidence and serotonin levels are constitutionally higher thanks to Program Peace -Besides massage exercise gratefulness cooperation and assertiveness how else can we -raise our serotonin Every exercise in this book aims to increase serotonin levels After you -have thoroughly practiced walking while breathing deeply with wide eyes above the eye line -shoulders down and a retracted neck it will be legitimate And here is the key Other peoples -inevitable recognition of this legitimacy will cause them to respect you Strangers will see your -posture and address you as boss chief sir or maam Even a subtle increase in the -tokens of respect you receive from your social environment relative to what your serotonergic -system was previously accustomed to will be enough to boost your serotonin -Researcher Michael McGuire and colleagues performed an illuminating experiment They -took a monkey troops alpha member and placed him in a separate room where he could watch -the other monkeys They placed a oneway mirror between the alpha and his subordinate -troopmates so that he could see them but they could not see him Because the alpha could see -his mates he made his ordinary dominance gestures However because they were oblivious to -him they did not make their submissive gestures in response Even though the alpha had far -higher serotonin levels than the other monkeys his serotonin levels fell each day of the -experiment He needed visual signals of their submission to stroke his ego When the -experimenters replaced this oneway mirror with a piece of glass his friends submitted and his -serotonin levels rose again -The trouble with our brain circuitry is that we necessitate submissive displays from others -just to feel normal Many find it impossible to retain a sense of selfworth if others withhold -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -signs of deference But you shouldnt Accept a confidence boost when others exalt you but -retain your confidence when others ignore you There is a deeper lesson to take from this Your -social interactions are not fights but sparring sessions They are not wrestling matches but -wrestling practice Dont see interactions as a competition see them as cooperation You are -working together to help each other become more and more ascendant When people fail to -show you the esteem you feel you deserve think of it as part of the game and let it make you -tougher not weaker -Before started this reprogramming journey my eyerelated body language see Chapter -was worse than most of the human population If had to ascribe numerical values would say -that was in the bottom for having open eyes the bottom for looking upward and the -bottom for capability for eye contact would guess that just around hours in total of -using the exercises from Chapter placed me at least higher in each of these categories -Can you imagine how much less frequently social interactions leave me feeling like a weirdo -and a loser Now come out of them with more serotonin rather than less -Take a moment to consider how other exercises in this book will make additional -contributions to your confidence Once you get the excessive tension out of your face neck -and diaphragm this will be apparent But remember this is not a zerosum game As long as you -are not combining your confidence with aggression your improved body language should not -detract from the body language of others In fact if you use your optimal demeanor equitably -and show others the respect they deserve and perhaps more than they deserve you will -become a role model helping and training others to be more like you -We have seen that there are many ways to increase your serotonin without drugs -However think the most powerful way to increase your confidence is to have faith in your -skills to mitigate conflict The next chapter will tackle this topic -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -Chapter Bullet Points -e Dominant or alpha primates have higher serotonin levels in the blood and brain than the -other members of their group If they are deposed their serotonin plunges and the new -alphas serotonin will soar -e Being an alpha with high serotonin that can never be deposed is a state of mind you can -create with time -e Increased serotonin makes you feel less stressed in response to threats and less -concerned with other peoples expectations regarding your subordination displays -e We act in ways to increase our serotonin but this often brings us into conflict with -others and can lead to selfdestructive behavior -e Any wins garnered through aggression or hostility are temporary and unsustainable -e Increase your confidence not through pitting yourself against or comparing yourself to -others but through appreciating the abundance you already have -e You dont have to be a highenergy extrovert to be assertive and high in status -e You have reached ego dissolution once your breathing is no longer controlled by pride -or prestige -e The same boost you used to get from pulling others down you can double it by being -successful at building rapport or making a new friend -e Your nervous system supports a mode of operation in which all movements are fluid -and unwavering as in tai chi -e Social submission interferes with fluid movement Your gesticulations at a party should -be as smooth and effortless as your motions in tai chi -e Camaraderie gratefulness and a mindset that is not attached to status and not -dependent on the regard of others will help us transcend serotonin blows -e It shouldnt feel socially awkward to have dominant body language -e Get your confidence boosts by competing with yourself and aiming to beat your -personal bests -e Master the belief that no matter what you will be just fine -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Raleigh M J Brammer G L Yuwiler A Flannery J W McGuire M T Geller E -Serotonergic influences on the social behavior of vervet monkeys Experimental -Neurology -van Vugt M Tybur J M The evolutionary foundations of status hierarchy In D -M Buss Ed The handbook of evolutionary psychology nd ed John Wiley Sons -Cheng J T Tracy J L Henrich J Pride personality and the evolutionary -foundations of human social status Evolution and Human Behavior -Hill P Allemand M Roberts B Examining the pathways between gratitude and -selfrated physical health across adulthood Personality and Individual Differences -Lambert N Fincham F Stillman T Gratitude and depressive symptoms The -role of positive reframing and positive emotion Cognition Emotion -Emmons R A Gratitude In S J Lopez A Beauchamp Eds Encyclopedia of -positive psychology pp Oxford University Press -Emmons R A McCullough M E Counting blessings versus burdens An -experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective wellbeing in daily life Journal of -Personality and Social Psychology -Hanson R Hardwiring happiness The new brain science of contentment calm -and confidence Random House -LeDoux J The emotional brain fear and the amygdala Cellular and Molecular -Neurobiology -Gothard K M Hoffman K L Circuits of emotion in the primate brain In M L -Platt A A Ghazanfar Eds Primate neuroethology pp Oxford University Press -Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great -game of life Academic Press -Carney D R Hall J A A LeBeau L S Beliefs about the nonverbal expression of -social power Journal of Nonverbal Behavior -Shariff A F Tracy J L Knowing whos boss Implicit perceptions of status from -the nonverbal expression of pride Emotion -Chapter Serotonin Optimism and Cooperation -Tracy J L Matsumoto D The spontaneous expression of pride and shame -Evidence for biologically innate nonverbal displays Proceedings of the National Academy of -Sciences -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -You do not need to defend against the intrusions of others there is no pressure on you to defend yourself -Recognize that they intrude upon themselves Eckhart Tolle -We Act in Uncivil Ways to Increase Our Serotonin -Humans like other primates are constantly testing one another in an oftenunconscious -attempt to either raise their serotonin levels or reduce someone elses We are driven to do it -because putting others down can give us a little neurochemical boost The tendency is -instinctual but it can become addictive and sadistic It is not psychologically healthy to belittle -our friends family members and coworkers for little hits of pleasure Neither is it healthy to fail -to recognize when others do this to us think of this as the struggle for serotonin and it is -going on in schools homes and workplaces everywhere -Workplace disharmony has been documented by recent research to be a substantial -economic cost for American business that is largely preventable but rarely addressed One in -five people claim to be the targets of occupational abuse at least once a week and ten percent -said they witness it every day Mistreatment does not rouse workers into better focus it -actually impedes their performance People that have been treated cruelly or thoughtlessly -show decreased ability to perform simple tasks distracted attention impaired working -memory diminished creativity and reduced helping behaviors Inhumane behavior is virulent -and negatively affects all involved the targets the offenders the firm and its customers After -reading about what incivility does in a workplace imagine what it does to a circle of friends or -a family Lets talk about how to stop it -We Provoke Each Other Constantly -As a solid rock is not shaken by the wind even so the wise are not ruffled by praise or blame -Buddha BCE BCE -When was young my mother taught me the expression out to get your goat This helped me -understand from a young age that it is common for people to say or do things just to get a -rise out of you or try to make you lose your cool It is ubiquitous People try to activate the -other persons amygdala sympathetic system and inferiority instincts to control them -however temporarily A large proportion of our social interactions revolve around testing each -others composure with jokes slights and provocations When my mom told me Dont let him -get your goat she was underscoring my responsibility to safeguard my temper and ignore -peoples attempts to fluster me -Etymologists believe that the expression comes from the oncecommon practice of keeping -goats with racehorses Racehorses are highstrung animals due in part to the unnatural levels -of strain placed on their muscles Goats were often used as companion animals to help keep -racehorses calm They were also commonly placed with dairy cows for the same reason Goats -naturally have an exceptionally low outward expression of stress They are not the most -beautiful animals neither are they the smartest nor largest but they are great at keeping their -cool think this should be a lesson for us we dont have to be the biggest or best to be the -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -calmest We may be far from being the dominant individual in a group but we can still be so -well composed that it inspires everyone else -There are many physical traits in animals that exist to convey social dominance These -include plumage coloration in Harris sparrows horn size in mountain sheep graying in the -mountain gorilla and square jaws in humans It is common to assume that flashy traits -imposition musculature and physical strength make a person dominant But it is really -emotional strength that makes people dominant Emotional stability keeps people from -getting your goat It is the only status symbol that is universally albeit unconsciously -recognized as more important than physical size looks reputation or money Often people -with great physical strength are accorded respect This in turn helps them build confidence -and emotional strength However the physically weakest person can certainly have the most -control over their emotions think of emotional strength as the ability to exhibit sturdiness in -the face of negativity -Emotional weakness starts when someone feels violated by someone else and then tries to -fight that feeling like any subjugated monkey The problem is if others can tell that you have -been stung they are going to want to sting you again Children high in rejection sensitivity are -more likely to be bullied Those kids who do not readily feel rejected are much less likely to be -victimized Envisioning yourself as the underdog or the victim is counterproductive because it -sensitizes you lowers your serotonin and invites further abuse Dominant animals have thick -skin are the last to feel rejected and so are the last to be rejected What would it feel like to -have zero rejection sensitivity Can you imagine yourself as inviolable -Treat everyone like you have known them forever and like they cant easily hurt you -See them as playful monkeys that are bluffcharging shamsneering pretendscratching -and feignbiting Only the primates with low serotonin are hurt emotionally by fraternization -All the things that people used to do that made you feel enraged reframe them as roughand -tumble monkey play -We Contradict Each Other Compulsively -If you carefully analyze the way people speak it is almost shocking how much we contradict -one another Most people are obnoxiously argumentative disputatious contrarians For many -listeners the first thing that pops into their mind is a way to poke holes in your line of -reasoning They look for any suitable exception to what you are saying They often are not even -emotionally invested in the contradictions that they place against you They are merely playing -devils advocate and throwing out red herrings to stifle and trip you up When people do this -to you they are testing your limits and trying to push you down into the lower echelons They -are expecting to feel good and get away with it after they discredit you But if we recognize the -ploy and respond skillfully to it we can help them reduce this dysfunctional behavior that is -certainly hurting them more than it is helping We can do this by responding without any hint -of pain -When others attempt to shoot you down try to see what is right about what they are -saying while pointing out how it doesnt invalidate what you were saying Do this with peace in -your heart Remember that you need not get defensive when someone hastily comes up with -an irrelevant exception to a statement you made Take their objections as requests for -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -elaboration and be happy to give them more details Reframing peoples intrusions and giving -them the benefit of the doubt is what the emotionally healthy person does -We should be looking for what is right in what others are saying to provide support This is -much more constructive for them and us In the words of Nick Bostrom this involves resisting -the temptation to instantaneously misunderstand each new idea by assimilating it with the -most similarsounding clich available in your cultural larder Give peoples ideas a chance to -marinate in your mind then help make those ideas better If you strongly disagree or have -something to teach them prove that you are comfortable in disagreeing by being polite yet -assertive Explain where you agree prior to disagreeing but dont disagree just to disagree -Never Fail a Confidence Test -Peoples jokes contradictions and snide comments are confidence tests to assess how cool -you are under pressure This is like a dogs first bark It is a probe used to assess your level of -composure These tests exclaim Im pretty sure that can break you down so Im going to say -something rude and see how you respond If you dont do anything about it you will fail the -test your rank will drop and others in the group will try to test you in the same way If you -laugh nervously or go along with it others will also see this as failing the test Crying -complaining or trying to gain sympathy are other ways to fail Flinging out an insult or -becoming furious will create more hostility or get yourself excluded from the group This is -because responding with anger just shows that you are volatile threatened and emotionally -immature But if you can respond using the challenge response rather than the threat response -you pass the confidence test with flying colors -To quote Schopenhauer Every reproach can hurt only to the extent that it hits the mark -Thus when you lose your cool and distressed breathing kicks in it becomes clear that the -persons comment resonated with you The only surefire way to win is to react assertively and -refrain from showing any hint of discomfort in response to your confidence being tested -Dont search other peoples words for things to be offended by Dont scrutinize voicemails -text messages or tone of voice for threats or putdowns There is no reason to investigate -Confidence testing is primal behavior Friends lovers coworkers strangers men and -women alike do it Sometimes it takes the form of creating drama out of a tiny issue just so that -they can scope your ability to withstand stress They are trying to see what they can get away -with This may take the form of impatience discourtesy or asking for endless small favors -Most people fail these tests because they cannot recognize them for what they are Once you -realize that youre dealing with a confidence test however it is very easy to pass -The best way to handle confidence tests is to see them for what they are monkey business -that is not worthy of your stress response Treat them as jokes and make humorous comments -in return You can turn a confidence test back around playfully or you can even make a self -deprecating joke to show how unflustered you are The absolute best way to deal with -confidence tests is to accept them as invitations to play as discussed in the next chapter -The secondbest way is simply to retain your composure -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Recompose Yourself When You Feel Disrespected -The mental arrow shot from anothers bow is practically harmless unless our own thought barbs it -Mary Baker Eddy -People provoke each other because they want to compare bodily pain When you feel -disrespected by someone your heart rate blood pressure and general level of discomfort all -go up Your vagal tone and HRV come down When someone contradicts you with a trifling -point they are looking to see how your face voice and breathing will change in response to -this new stressor They are expecting to take your breath away from you When they make a -haughty innuendo or an untoward comment they want to see how you will tolerate it -physiologically Recomposing yourself is the best way to stop reinforcing their transgressive -behavior When someone says something that crosses your boundaries ensure that you -Are breathing slowly and deeply through your nose -Are not squinting and your eyebrows are not raised -Are not sneering at all and your face is limp -Relax your spine gut and vocal tract -Retract your neck and lower your shoulders -Responding in this way removes all positive reinforcers dissuading the offending party -from provoking you again If they disrespect you and your eyes remain wide while you respond -calmly in a deep and steady voice they are going to feel stupid When you react to someone in -a way that is otherwise nonoptimal you relinquish your power When our chilike or pranalike -bioenergy is wasted on negative emotions we have none left to improve our lives or give to -others Conserve yours especially in the face of provocation -We get mad at other people for making us lose our composure However we should be -angry over our own unconscious rules for what makes us tighten certain body parts Once we -change those rules other people cant upset us When get mad at something that someone -did remind myself that am only mad because my own rules caused my breath to shorten my -nasopharynx to tighten and my face to wince No one else made me do these things did -Breathing with the diaphragm will automatically create the right mindset for dealing with -power politics It will allow the conflict to pass right through you without impacting you Even -taking a single second inhalation will give you more control over your behavior quell your -anger and allow you to deescalate potentially explosive situations Misunderstandings that -would have been largescale crises will now be subtle victories -used to look nice and act tough Like most people was doing it backward Instead we -want to look tough and act nice Playing submissive nonverbally and dominant verbally makes -you a servant to the hierarchical game and turns you into a jerk Instead you want to be -tightfisted with your nonverbals but easygoing with your words This gives the impression that -you are a wellcomposed team player rather than an anxious and alienated loner -If you tense anything let it be the procerus pulling your eyebrows down In other words -when someone is mean or rude to you try frowning You practiced this highly dominant -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -expression in Chapters and You can also flare your nostrils Then without saying anything -angry ask them to clarify their statement Okay explain that one to me -The primary way show others they did something that didnt like is by making my face -calmer They always get the point When a problem dog is ignored it usually calms down in -seconds When abusive people see that you are unagitated and uninterested it will take them -down a peg Shrug it offliterally When they see you shrug they will realize that they are -powerless to upset you -Many of the men was friends with in my twenties wanted to hurt me and see me in pain -At least a part of them did They were just doing what their instincts and environment -programmed them to do People often encourage those who subordinate themselves to do so -even further This is not necessarily spiteful because they usually dont even realize what they -are doing Regrettably have noticed myself unconsciously helping people play a subordinate -role try to catch myself We should treat and speak to everyone including people such as the -homeless and developmentally disabled as equals friends and trusted confidantes -The best way to cultivate inner freedom is to learn to relax around petty and aggressive -people You will find that the need to defend yourself will diminish until there is nothing they -can do to aggravate you Make them realize that they dont have the power to bite scratch -or sully you with their words Chimpanzees fling feces to denigrate one another Every time -someone says something degrading they are just flinging feces Lucky for us words cant stain -our clothes -No matter what if you have more composure you will win the argument because you look -like you dont care too much Once they realize they have no access to your physical pain -they will let up You want people to be able to sense that you are not interested in their antics -They will recognize that they cannot blame you for not being pulled in by shenanigans -You want to communicate Were not playing that game of scrutinizing the things we say -to each other for slights Trust me Im simply not going to intentionally offend you -Underreact to Their Offenses -God gives nothing to those who keep their arms crossed West African Proverb -Aside from the struggle for serotonin your average person acts like a jackass because they are -in pain They offend in a poor functioning attempt to hide the outward manifestation of their -trauma It is like they are trying to show us I wouldnt be acting like this if were scared -would In trying to look strong they become offensive Because they see being nice as a form -of selfhandicapping they think that they must be mean so as not to handicap This is a -fundamental sociocognitive error You can be the strongest most ambitious version of yourself -with zero negativity However remember that it is an entirely normal response for other -people to resist your efforts to become more assertive So roll with any resistance -When someone is rude to you and you are not rude back you pull the rug out from under -them By not allowing them to incite your pain you expose theirs They may then use a strategy -to pretend as if your response to them was rude or sarcastic They do this in another attempt to -make it seem that you are the one who is quick to anger The best response is to continue to -keep your cool Dont get bullied into becoming angry Take their harassment in stride -Or simply sidestep it you dont even need to acknowledge their misdeed Feel free to ignore it -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -It is our right as humans to completely ignore other peoples abusive behaviors if we dont do it -in anger and if we are willing to engage the person in an alternate topic or activity -Ignore rudeness without brooding or becoming sullen The moment you do this the other -person will realize that you are choosing not to respond because they put you in a position -where you didnt have the option to respond in a nice way After ignoring them give them -another chance to engage whenever they want You can alternatively ignore the rude part of -what they said and continue addressing only the positive or intellectual side of their position -Do this magnanimously and they will realize that you gave them a pass They will also respect -you for it Even if they dont mention it they cant help but realize Wow he couldve taken -that opportunity to strike back or discredit me but chose not to Dont let them pull you down -to their level Thats the first step in winning them over -Let the other person bluster and be brash and make no attempt to do the same Because -you dont counter their display they will think that they have beaten you Then when you act -cheerful not attempting to win or lose but being oblivious to the dominance game in general -they will go through a series of emotions First they will feel like they have lost then they will -try to win again to make up for it They may get stuck in that cycle for a while and thats fine -Eventually they will recognize that you intend to act as equals When this happens organically -it is usually the starting point for an alliance or a friendship Why not accelerate the process -Can you imagine negotiating with an angry person without using either appeasement or -aggression What would that look like Many spiritual teachers say that a sign of someone -enlightened is that they cannot be provoked or argued with They are open to discussion and -debate of course but not argument The next activity asks you to explore how you can stand -up for what you believe without losing your composure -Conflict Activity A Relaxed Argument -The next time someone is critical or accusatory prepare yourself for a fully relaxed -argument This involves asserting yourself using calm cool logic without getting offended and -without escalating the conversation in any way Try to achieve the following -Do not raise your voice -Do not whine or speak in a high voice -Do not fake smile smirk or laugh -Do not say anything sarcastic -Monitor your breathing rate heart rate and level of gastric distress -Breathe calmly through your nose for the duration Let your exhalations be passive -Present your side of the argument in a straightforward matteroffact way -Show empathy for their feelings and try to coax them to do the same for you -If the other person escalates the conflict act in ways that deescalate it -Create awareness of your and the other persons impulses to become angry or make -it personal Notice how these originate from sensations of pain within the body -Make your intended outcome not to win but to convince the other person that any -transgression you may have committed was unintentional -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -Do not attack them or try to shift blame toward them Just focus on getting them to -see your perspective and why you did what you did -Explain how you will continue to act in the same way in the future or how you are -willing to try to change for them -Feel free to offer an apology for whatever part you played in the disagreement -Meditate on the term unassailable which means unable to be attacked or defeated You -are unassailable because you are a good person and do wrong only by accident You are also -unassailable because you respond to criticism dispassionately but with accountability You -underreact but you take responsibility for what you may have done wrong By being happy to -completely own up to any mistakes or any trouble you may have inadvertently caused others -you are made invincible If someone refuses to say Im sorry Thank you and You were -right to you it doesnt mean that you should stop saying such things to them Make yourself -honorbound to say these things whenever they are applicable -Be at ease with everyone from the discourteous to the genteel and treat everyone as if -you have known them your whole life This means when they say something with a pinprick -embedded in it to get a rise out of you act like you have heard the same line a thousand times -You are unfazed and remain sociable with full parasympathetic and vagal tone At the outset -you will need to override any impulses to respond in kind Soon it will become automatic and -you will experience how and why being unfazed is much more powerful than lashing out -Set Your Expectations of Others to Zero -Competition and aggression are relatively inescapable It is essential to come to terms with the -fact that at any moment anyone could say something that will rile you up or make you feel -demeaned disregarded or disrespected Everyone even if not especially your closest friends -harbor instincts and impulses to dominate you Ask yourself Am open to being exasperated -by anyone at any time The answer without being jaded or cynical should be No govern -my own emotional reactions Im prepared for the worst even though treat others as though -only expect the best from them -Conflict Activity Imagine Your Friends Abusing You -Imagine that everyone in your social world is trying to abuse you verbally They are resorting -to personal character attacks in foul and underhanded ways People are screaming and -yelling expletives at you denouncing everything you have ever done Imagine yourself -staying calm and untroubled amid this derision Imagine yourself not taking it personally not -taking it to heart and continuing to be productive and accomplish your personal goals -Imagine yourself unperturbed by the abuse Allow this imaginary activity to take the -emotional shock away from personal attacks when they happen and help you appreciate how -good your social life really is -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Weve got to remember not to take offenses personally When someone says something -snide you might find yourself immediately starting to wonder if the offender doesnt like your -face your personality or the way you talk If a person is rude to you they are probably rude to -everyone It reflects on them not you You need to resist the tendency to ask Why me One -of the best approaches to regaining peace in your life is to avoid taking any personal offense -Conflict Activity See People As Animate Matter -Spend a few minutes thinking of everyone on Earth as being made of atoms and molecules -that are completely controlled by physical laws Imagine them with no free will of their own -Everything they do comes from their current physical structure the existing circuits in their -brain and the prior experiences that made them that way Allow this to help you feel -unoffended by their actions See everyone as automatons aggregations of cells that move -and act in predetermined ways Like a tumbleweed that has run into you you cannot -rationally be offended by anything they do Sometimes it can help to see people as -deterministic robots in this way What you put in is what you get out This holds you -responsible for any errors You should find that when you stop blaming others and hold -yourself responsible you have wellfunctioning encounters more frequently -Aggression is Inherently Weak -Aggressive acts are almost always mutually destructive in the sense that they hurt all parties -involved Any positive outcomes won by aggression are usually pyrrhic meaning they are -achieved at a high cost often to the point of negating or outweighing any benefits Tell yourself -that there are no acceptable losses with aggression and that because it damages everyone -aggression is selfdefeating -Aggression is violent in tone and contains elements of despair defensiveness selfpity -fear and desperation It invokes and is invoked by the threat response It is ironic that people -often act aggressively to gain respect but only rarely do others respect aggressive people -This is because aggression is inherently weak Aggression turns the world into a zoo and a -struggle for serotonin -As discussed in Chapter there is a big difference between acting dominant and trying to -dominate others Cultivating dominant nonverbal behavior is good for your healthit helps you -avoid stress But trying to dominate others is just another source of conflict and as such a -source of stress Studies with monkeys and apes have shown that stress as measured by -elevations in the stress hormone cortisol is often more pronounced in individuals attempting -to dominate than in their targets In trying to subject others these primates damage their -health People that are constantly trying to assert their rank by being aggressive are similarly -exposing themselves to cortisol inflammation tachycardia hyperventilation bracing and so -much more The clear implication is that the best way to free ourselves from our egos is to -cultivate a nonsubmissive personality while abstaining from attempts to dominate -Heal Your Composure with the Most Dominant People in Your Life -Your relationship with your parents is primordial Everyone picks up aggressive nonoptimal -nonpeaceful tendencies from their folks These are usually the hardest to break Also the body -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -language and mannerisms you feel comfortable using around Mom and Dad set a foundation -for how you act with everyone else Because so much of our formative time was spent with -them we hold our posture and countenance as if in their presence It is important that you feel -comfortable using dominant nonsubmissive body language around your mother father -and siblings As soon as you stop bracing your body in a way that is subservient to your family -members you will gain new freedom The next time you find yourself on a car ride with your -parents family members or anyone you are uncomfortable around discretely pull out your -breath metronome and teach your body to inhale and exhale freely in their presence -Primates respect gradation in rank meaning that a baboon will act much more subservient -around a group member five stations above him than it will around a member one station -above him The way you hold yourself around the most dominant people in your life similarly -affects you Think of the largest strongest most charismatic and most successful people in -your life You should act like there is no pressure on you to send them tribute Take special note -of which aspects of your body language are nonoptimal when you are with them and work on -these Even when they are not around you may find yourself trying to convince them of things -monitoring their moodiness and rehashing old disagreements If this is the case your thoughts -about them are likely influencing you to hold submissive postures Let all of this go -Dont Feel Compelled to Sacrifice to Dominant Individuals -Care about peoples approval and you will be their prisoner Lao Tzu BCE Unknown -Subordinate apes often seek reassurance by putting a finger in the dominant animals mouth -They are risking their intact finger to pay their respects This is like a sacrificial offering -Monkeys do this too Among stumptailed macaques formal rank is reinforced by a mock bite -on the subordinates wrist The subordinate approaches and places their arm under the -dominant individuals nose to invite this ritualized bite It communicates If you dont trust me -you can chew my hand off Similarly it is very common for humans to sacrifice -disproportionate amounts of time and energy to curry a dominant persons favor Dont do this -They will not respect you for it -Nondominant primates are obsessed with the dominant ones Apes and monkeys spend a -lot of time watching or making frequent furtive glances at dominant members of their troop -In experimental settings male monkeys are willing to give up precious juice to view pictures of -two things female hindquarters not surprisingly and dominant males In the wild -monkeys constantly inspect the dominants watching their every move and often giving them -their full attention Scientists suppose that this behavior plays a role in the acquisition of -important social cues -People do this as well Have you noticed your tendency to search out highstatus members -of the same sex and observe them jealously Do you seek out pictures of female hindquarters -and buff dudes on social media Dont secretly worship the bodybuilders the CEOs the fitness -models or the celebrities Giving them undue attention keeps you locked in a hierarchical -mindset so dont pay them any more attention than you would anyone else -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Have Compassion for Your Transgressors -If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each persons life sorrow and suffering -enough to disarm any hostility Henry Wadsworth Longfellow -In your mind think of discourteous people as unsophisticated people Remember that the most -offensive ones are likely to have had extreme life challenges such as early trauma or abuse -Further inappropriate aggression can be a symptom of brain damage PTSD or a range of -neurological or psychological disorders When someone is inconsiderate remind yourself that -they may have serious maladjustments and that more often than not they could use your -help Everyone is a jerk in their own eccentric way due to their unique pattern of deficits in -social intelligence Dont be surprised or upset by their idiosyncratic manner of being -discourteous just because you havent gotten used to it yet Most people realize that they are -rough around the edges Many even want to change but find it difficult or do not understand -how Unfortunately their uncouth behavior causes people to be rude back to them -perpetuating their problem We dont want to perpetuate peoples issues We want to help -resolve them -Aggression derives from weakness pain unfortunate experiences and mental -shortcomings so we should respond to it with empathy Those who want to humiliate others -have low selfesteem themselves It is sad that their priorities judgments and word choices are -impoverished Had you experienced everything they did perhaps you would have turned out -just like them Think of quarrelsome people as flamboyant actors who are suffering offstage -Most everyone is a sob story and we are all walking wounded Dont let wounds beget more -wounds Everyone you dislike just needs a little recognition validation and friendliness When -you give them a chance odds are they will end up making you revise your opinion of them -Another thing we should keep in mind is that what we take to be premeditated personal -affronts tend to be defense mechanisms or even more innocuously coping mechanisms -Most difficult people do things out of desperation because their sympathetic nervous system -is set too high People who are short of breath shaken and choked up lash out That is what -they do Almost everything that you dont like about people is just them trying ineffectively -to maintain their dignity Work around them if you have to but help them if you can Let your -natural assertiveness and your compassion for them work together -Anger and Rage -He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty Proverbs -The brains rage system starts at the medial areas of the amygdala that perceive angerinducing -stimuli From there they proceed to the areas that act on anger including the stria terminalis -the medial hypothalamus and the periaqueductal gray Certain stimuli from the environment -naturally increase electrical activity in these areas physical restriction pain hunger -and thwarted desires You can see how these incendiary stimuli are similar to those that evoke -fear in the amygdala eg loud sounds and fast movement As with fear adrenaline cortisol -and pain heighten anger whereas endorphins oxytocin and serotonin halt it -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -In all mammals that have been tested rage can be evoked by electrically stimulating these -brain areas We know they find it aversive because lab animals will go to lengths to avoid -electrical stimulation of the rage system When the electrodes in their rage circuit are fed a -current the animal will spring toward whatever object is in front of it and bite The attack -becomes more intense as the current is increased Humans report that the stimulation of rage -via electrodes placed in the brain is a terrible experience They tend to clench their jaw and -sneering muscles and report feelings of intense hatred -Electrical stimulation of rage causes smallbrained mammals like mice to attack inanimate -objects More intelligent mammals like cats and dogs wont attack an object because they -understand that this is meaningless but they will attack the nearest living animal Primates -show a further level of abstraction Stimulating the rage system in apes and monkeys will cause -them to vent their rage toward animals below them in the hierarchy but not above -A monkey whose rage system is persistently stimulated will ascend in rank An animal -whose rage system is physically damaged in the lab septal lesioning will become tame and -descend in rank This suggests that we dont want to completely suppress anger However -many of us were expected to suppress all outward manifestations of anger by our parents and -teachers believe that many people fall down the well of anxiety simply because they are -reluctant to demonstrate anger Convince yourself that it is fine to use anger in the form of -righteous indignation to stand up for yourself or what you believe in In Exercise we -discovered how briefly feigning anger can clear fear from your face Used in the next exercise it -will clear it from your chest -Conflict Activity Briefly Feign Anger to Overcome Fear -The next time you anticipate anxiety or experience intimidation from social conflict use anger -to overcome it Imagine even if just for seconds that you are very angry at the other -person You might be enraged at everyone in the boardroom Without letting your blood -pressure rise or wanting to attack them flip the tables by allowing the anger to drain every -ounce of fear from you Then reengage without either anger or fear -Anger erases social anxiety because when you are angry you stop caring about what other -people think and about the intricate hierarchical games of judgment evaluation and -apprehension For those few seconds you are ready to throw it all out of the window Even a -brief flash of anger lasting seconds will harden you making you callous unsympathetic and -allowing you to start over with renewed composure Sometimes just reminding yourself that -you are capable of feeling angry and expressing anger in front of others can give you the -confidence you need to be assertive -Dont expect people to read your mind or recognize when things are not in your favor -If something bothers you speak up Dont be afraid to ask for what you want Say what you -want to say You should be at a point in your life where you dont feel like you have to act like -anybody but yourself Make sure that you establish nonnegotiable boundaries Dont tolerate -intrusions upon your health family morals or psychological wellbeing Keep in mind -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -though that you must take responsibility if your assertive words or actions ruffle other -peoples feathers -Extreme anger in animals is often called a redzone case You cannot reason with an -animal whose rage circuit is fully active It is so focused that injuring it will only intensify its -ferocity Its objective to kill overpowers any pain you might inflict It would rather die than -cease its attack When the rage circuit is activated in a human you cannot argue or reason with -them Their bodily pain launches a sustained uninhibited verbal offensive Dont ever feel like -you have to pit yours against theirs Rather when someone gets angry at you think of it as an -opportunity to explain your true intentions and give them the information they need to feel less -threatened There is a good chance that their accusation is totally valid given that they dont -have the information they need to see it from your point of view Also a person cannot stay -mad at you if you dont get defensive Like a truly dominant mammal tackle the situation with -assertion not infuriation -In Chapter we learned that the neurological systems for predation and aggression are -distinct When a predatory mammal attacks prey its rage circuit is entirely inactive However -when a mammal attacks a member of its species out of anger the rage circuit lights up Be a -person that doesnt attack members of its species Rather attack the misunderstanding at -hand Imagine being a cat stalking in the grass without an ounce of anger or aggression -aroused calmly approaching your prey completely naive of negative intent Wouldnt it be -more effective to use this manner in a hostile social situation than outrage or defensiveness -You might ask whether avoiding anger will cause suppressed emotion It is commonly -supposed that if people suppress anger toward others they will end up bottling it all inside -But this act of bottling is equivalent to nothing more than muscle tension something you have -now been trained to recognize and release As long as you do not start bracing and continue to -breathe diaphragmatically you are not suppressing anger You are deflecting it And this is -healthy As any endocrinologist will tell you getting angry is like taking a small dose of slow -acting poison It raises blood pressure strains the heart damages arteries and causes -cholesterolfilled fat cells to empty into the bloodstream -As with fear every time you become adversarial the emotion fortifies related brain -pathways making you a more petulant person Every time you indulge in negativity you -encourage tiny incremental alterations in your neural architecture that make it harder to be -positive Conversely every time you transcend anger your capability to rise above it is -increased So the next time you find yourself using your imagination to plan a tirade or spew -venom just stop and move on to something else -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -Ilustration A Gorillas fighting B Dogs fighting C Dog with tail between the legs -Use Proximity Touch and Eye Contact for Reconciliation -Physical conflicts are frequent in both monkeys and apes Heart rates skyrocket suppressed -anger is unleashed and the fur can fly What happens afterward is what is important Most -conflicts even violent ones dont create distance because the animals tend to be intimate soon -after the aggressive incident They want to make up As with our huntergatherer ancestors -chimps in a troop are usually stuck with each other so reconciliation is necessary -After a fight chimps first seek out eye contact The former opponents may sit opposite -each other for minutes or more trying to catch the others eye One makes the first -conciliatory move holds out a hand pants in a friendly way then approaches for mutual -grooming Sometimes within a minute of a fight apes will rush toward each other kiss -embrace fervently and then proceed to groom each other and even lick each others wounds -This close physical contact is what makes reconciliation possible -As they groom and make up their heart rates and breathing rates return to ordinary levels -If the two primates dont spend time in close proximity giving their hearts a chance to calm -down in each others presence they may never salvage their relationship Think of some people -that you have trouble getting along with How do you make up with them after a spat Failure -to reconcile may stem from the fact that you have not made time to decrease your -cardiorespiratory output in their immediate presence If you have relationships that you want -to heal all it may take is a oneonone chillout session involving togetherness eye contact -physical touch and mutual diaphragmatic breathing -Making Your CalmAssertive Energy Composed and Nonconfrontational -Animal trainer Cesar Millan uses the term calmassertive energy to describe the aura of a -pack leader In his book Cesars Way he underscores that when an owner leverages this aura -with their pets it convinces them to trust and value the owners authority He explains how -even a small child can gain command over a pound Pitbull if they exude calmassertive -energy To wield it you must appear austere like you have strong expectations that others will -respect your boundaries -Millan explains that your pet dog does not want to be your equal It either wants to be -dominant or inferior He describes how most problem dogs that he treats try to assert their -dominance over their doting owners Dominance displays used by pet dogs include jumping at -people insisting on being fed being the first out the door pulling the owner by the leash -during walks excessive barking being unresponsive to commands and many others They tend -to develop these behaviors when their owner is neither calm nor assertive -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Most dogs will gladly accept their owners dominance unless they believe that the owners -energy is too weak Dogs know that when a leader has wimpy energy the pack is -compromised For its safety and your protection it will try to pick up the slack by asserting its -dominance The same goes for children Many wellintentioned parents are unwittingly -submissive to their offspring and end up with aggressive frustrated kids The same goes for -everyone in your life If you are not using calmassertive energy they will want to keep you -down so that you dont compromise the chain of command that is so important to survival -Thus your coworkers friends and family have instincts that tell them they dont want to be -your equal Because they want the tribe to have the most strongminded leader they prefer to -either lead or follow someone stronger -Near the end of his book The Ape in the Corner Office Richard Conniff concludes Status -competition and hierarchy are inescapable facts of primate life Though we disparage them -they are also essential tools for encouraging high performance and domestic tranquility He is -right When the pecking order is stable in groups of chickens the hens fight less and lay more -eggs Fighting is vastly reduced in chimps where the dominance hierarchy is established This is -also true in humans For example when dominance roles are well defined in a business merger -it usually goes smoothly but if roles are left undefined there is much more friction Conniff -believes that prosocial dominance is what we should strive for To him it is about making -friends employing compromise and persuasion and getting people to work with you toward -common goals and the better good -mostly agree with Conniff But have this to add Let us make our posture and body -language as stable and secure as possible our speech as rational and friendly as possible -Beyond this let us not try to force our eminence on anyone Instead we should let others make -inferences about relative dominance without attempting to persuade them or twist their arm -Thus recommend using calmassertive energy combined with a nondominatingnon -submissive demeanor to convince others against their instincts that the best strategy is to be -equals think that these comparisons with animal behavior suggest a golden rule of social -hierarchy Treat others as if they are neither above you nor below you in the status hierarchy -and as if they have never done anything wrong We will build on this in the next section -Forgiving Transgression -The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend Abraham Lincoln -Although think we should be quick to forgive we must let wrongdoers know what they did -was unacceptable If someone wrongs you address it assertively and immediately Tell them -which of your boundaries they crossed and by how much Even tell them exactly how you -expect them to proceed However if they are not doing anything wrong in the next moment -treat them as if they have never done anything wrong in their life This proves to them that you -trust them to improve This involves not saying things like You never listen to me Youre -always doing that You dont care about anyone else and Youll never change Keeping -score or holding grudges only leads to bitterness on both sides -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -Conflict Activity Treat Others as if They Have Never Done Wrong -Imagine what it would be like to treat everyone in your life as if they had never done -anything bad hurtful or thoughtless Imagine relating to each person as an equal and a -trusted soulmate that has never harmed or insulted you in any way Imagine your parents -this way followed by your siblings extended family friends children coworkerseveryone -Start over with a clean slate Even better throw the slate away and stop keeping tallies This -will free you from the encumbrance of having to keep score withhold affection and mete -out extended punishments Doing so can play a massive role in making relationships more -peaceable and equitable -Dont Punish Because People Dont Sympathize with Your Aggression -No one is going to perceive your anger as valid if it is directed toward them Even if you feel like -you are justified in getting angry as long as it is directed toward them they will perform -whatever mental gymnastics necessary to frame you as the victimizer You may see your -actions as retaliation but they see it as arbitrary abuse That is why dont chastise even when -have a clear opportunity Resorting to belligerent tactics is the best way to provide an -antagonist with more ammunition Also keep in mind that every time you get upset a negative -part of the other person wins Every time you keep your cool that same part is diminished -Punishment is not a sustainable way to get what we want out of people Rewarding them with -stern attention compassion and love is -When someone acts rude treat them as an animal that you are training that has not -performed a trick properly Anyone that has trained a pet knows that you withhold the food -you wait you keep talking to it and you just give it another chance You dont take punitive -action against the animal unless it has physically harmed you or someone else It is not our -place to punish anyone unless they have physically harmed us Cultivate the same kind of -patience with people that you might use with an abused pet Be a lenient but firm master -Recognize Psychopathy in Yourself and Others -In computer science there is a concept known as device hardening by which a computers -vulnerabilities are reduced by various means These constrain the available methods of attack -by hackers and viruses Such methods include changing default passwords disabling -unnecessary services applying patches closing network ports and setting up firewalls and -intrusion prevention systems Reading this book has put you through a process of hardening -The exercises provide stress tests and stress proofing You have been fortified and the -vulnerabilities in your head thorax and abdomen will continue to be reduced as long as you -take part in the exercises This hardening process has strengthened you but also made you -susceptible to psychopathic behavior This is why want to address the nature of psychopathy -so that some readers do not let their newfound composure corrupt them -In this section will try to convince you that we have something to learn from the -psychopath They have a form of strength that we want for ourselves but also a tendency to -hurt others which we dont Lets start by describing what we dont want Psychopathy is a -personality disorder characterized by bold disinhibited behavior as well as impaired empathy -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -and remorse Many psychopaths are serial bullies They often parasitize the people around -them constantly committing offenses many of which are nonarrestable They exhibit -Machiavellian selfinterest and are often not concerned with the psychological damage they -inflict on their targets They are frequently negativistic impatient intemperate embittered -oppositional overcompetitive petulant and meanspirited They can be easily slighted quickly -disillusioned and have a penchant for wanting to punish others They use pain as an instrument -of power and leave people worse off than they found them We dont want to follow suit -The people that know personally on the psychopathy spectrum set people up to cross -their lines of decency so that they can retaliate They love their mean personality They think -that it is smart witty and cool But no one that know who is proud of being mean is -respectable And know several They are all socially disabled hypocrites They all cross their -close friends and family more than anyone else and their behavior inevitably results in tragedy -Psychopaths make up only around of the population However each of us can become -psychopathic in certain contexts People are more likely to callously abuse others in situations -when they become angry or when they believe they are dominant When someone is calmly -rude to you they are attempting to be a cat toying with a mouse In other words they are -trying to build the experience of being a predator with a total disregard for how it might be -affecting you Never let yourself be that mouse If someone is psychopathic with you think it -is fair to be psychopathic back In the next few paragraphs will explain what mean that it is -fair to be without empathy although not sadistic -The research literature on the psychology and neuroscience of psychopathy is extensive -To boil it down psychopaths exhibit alterations in emotional brain areas that cause them to be -callous and fearless Interestingly their amygdala can be utterly unresponsive to many types of -social stressors Psychopaths have reduced sympathetic responsiveness while looking at -distressing pictures The same is true when they look at pictures of other people in distress -This has caused researchers to conclude that they have a lack of empathy They are poor at -naming fearful emotional expressions They also exhibit a diminished response to conditioned -punishment less fear and reduced startle reflex to myriad startling stimuli Social conflict -doesnt increase their heart rate or breathing rate and does not cause them to brace They are -often reported to be charismatic and exhibit superficial charm They are capable of these things -because they do not feel pressured to selfhandicap -But none of these neurological predispositions toward insensitivity necessarily make them -bad A biological predisposition to being unafraid in and of itself doesnt make the psychopath -evil Unfortunately it often causes them to make social mistakes and flout norms The people -that they unintentionally hurt punish them for these mistakes believe the resulting constant -conflict turns them into bad people over time But the bad doesnt derive from their innate -fearlessness the bad comes in if the repercussions of that fearlessness cause them to start -taking delight in others pain -Some people find pleasure in hurting others These people show activity in the brains -reward circuit the ventral striatum when shown videos depicting deliberate infliction of pain -When they watch someone maliciously prick another with a needle they feel amusement and -gratification Some psychopaths exhibit this but many do not Psychopaths dont necessarily -want to hurt people but they are willing to hurt them if they can get what they want -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -Psychopaths dont feel anothers pain sadists enjoy it Reveling in anothers pain is known as -sadism and schadenfreude -Schadenfreude is defined as the feeling of enjoyment that comes from seeing or hearing -about other peoples troubles In German it means harmjoy Sadism is enjoyment in being -cruel Sadists dont choose to feel satisfaction from someone elses misfortune It is -neurological and usually derives from a combination of early experiences and genetics -However you can confront any tendencies you may have toward sadism and you and are -obligated to do so Harmjoy is evil Draw a hard line in the sand -Activity Analyze Your Tendencies Toward Sadism -How do you imagine your brains reward centers respond to other peoples pain or -misfortune Can you think of a time when something grim happened to someone and you -became excited or experienced pleasure How could you become more aware of this -tendency as it happens How could you interrupt or undermine it if you recognized it -Ask yourself How can take the strength and fearlessness from psychopathy without any -hint of sadism -You want to be psychopathic when it comes to the dominance hierarchy You want to be -stonecold when people attack you To be assertive sometimes you need to throw excessive -empathy out of the window am advocating a type of ruthlessness that is not destructive -where you dont worry about what other people think of you and your heart bleeds for no one -You are not doing anything wrong though because outside of selfdefense you are too -confident and compassionate to feel the desire to hurt others in revenge -Lessons from Breaking My Nose -In Chapter recounted how my nose was broken at a McDonalds at age didnt tell the -whole embarrassing story walked up to the McDonalds restaurant with an exaggerated -posture was trying to be a little cooler than really was Another yearold in the parking -lot didnt like it He said several unkind things to me and asked him to leave me alone -He followed me inside and continued to menace me While was standing in line to order food -he made a final unprovoked disparaging comment didnt consider him a threat so reached -out and gently pulled the brim of his baseball cap down below his eyes expected that it would -take a couple of seconds for him to fix his hat Without even pushing the brim back up he -immediately tilted his head upward so that he could see me and threw a swift right cross to -my nose -There are four things we can learn from this First shouldnt have pushed his hat down -It was the wrong thing to do It leaped over the line from assertion to aggression When we -touch someone else without being welcomed to do so it is a violation of something sacred -We shouldnt ever touch people in anger unless it is in selfdefense -The second lesson found in this is that any fight can do a lot of damage The blow broke -my skull in multiple places Parts of the nasal bone maxilla and septum were fragmented -The surgeon said he had to pick out many bits of shattered bone from my face The emergency -room doctors told me the injury was consistent with being hit with a bat or a club But wasnt -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -hit with a club remember distinctly being hit with a fist was only hit once by a yearold -boy that must have weighed less than pounds think this should be a lesson for all of us -Any act of physical violence can have severe costs and just one strike from anyone has the -potential to do grave damage We dont want our faces broken and we dont want to break -anyone elses face either Tell yourself that fighting is not worth the costs Prepare yourself to -skillfully and gracefully decline physical violence when it confronts you This will give you the -peace of mind to rise above it -Third if you are going to walk around with optimal posture you must be wellprepared to -deal with people trying to call your bluff was assaulted because had my chest puffed up -But have since proved to myself that it is all in the way you do it walk around expressionless -with my chest inflated and neck completely retracted all the time now But am not putting on -airs it is not a form of submissive threat and do it with no remorse but also with no -animosity No one seems to question it or get angry about it To be honest Im not sure that -could pull it off in a penitentiary But can pull it off safely in any neighborhood in the world -promise you that And promise that you can do it too The key is just to do it without an -ounce of anger in your heart -Number four As recounted in Chapter having my nose broken changed my facial posture -and increased the amount of repetitive strain in my facial muscles but it did something else -much more insidious It stopped me from breathing nasally A few months after the incident -started having difficulty breathing through my nose resigned to being an obligate mouth -breather Contrary to what assumed however my nasal passage hadnt been narrowed by the -damage Rather the disuse narrowed it -After the nose break it was packed with gauze for two weeks so learned not to breathe -nasally Because learned by habit to breathe through my mouth my diaphragm atrophied -and my tidal range shrunk Nasal breathing became difficultnot because my nasal passage -was any smaller but because my diaphragm had grown weak was no longer able to breathe -slowly smoothly and at long enough intervals to make nose breathing tenable -After the cascade of physical and social repercussions of being a mouth breather went -from being moderately popular in high school to very unpopular in college As recounted in -Chapter recently forced myself to start breathing through my nose again and it was -difficult at first Taping my mouth helped Now it is second nature and it helped me reclaim the -calmness and composure of my youth -Four interesting lessons from one traumatic incident Funnily enough it took me more than -years to learn them How many of our instances of trauma hold important lessons for us -Prepare Yourself to Avoid Physical Confrontation -In this book ask you to walk around like you are a superhero This can be dangerous as it can -arouse insecurity in others and could cause them to assault you You need a few good -conciliatory displays in your arsenal There are many things you can do at the last second to -forestall an attack Just knowing that you have these is empowering and will help you keep -unphased when provoked -Practicing a head nod greeting can prepare you to extract yourself from tense situations -The head nod consists of two movements a quick motion either up or down and then a slightly -slower motion resetting the head to its original setting Nodding up is more assertive and can -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -be perceived as a challenge if it is not accompanied by a smile or an eyebrow raise -Nodding down is more modest -Nodding down can be a helpful way to acknowledge someone and diffuse tension created -by eye contact between strangers The fact that you stayed composed while you acknowledged -the other person civilly with a nod before they acknowledged you shows that you do not feel -threatened and are not trying to threaten Practicing a several head nods in front of a mirror -will train you to nod reassuringly after a tense or unexpected encounter with a stranger -Conflict Activity Head Nod Greeting -Practice a friendly head nod It may help at first to do this in front of a mirror making eye -contact with yourself Start by nodding down quickly and then back up Practice both upward -and downward nods Repeat a few dozen times until you get the hang of it Nodding once is a -positive display that will usually invite the other person to nod back and relax -Use the mentalis muscle at the bottom of the chin to raise the chin toward the mouth -You might combine this with a risorious smile by drawing the corners of the lips outwards -without smiling up into the cheeks Then combine this with the nod Using the mentalis -muscles to raise the chin while flashing a risorious smile sends a stern but friendly signal that -diffuses suspicion -Prepare yourself with dispassionate lines that will alleviate anger These include -Excuse me friend Im not looking for any trouble or simply Hello may help you -Say something peaceful while breathing deeply This will advertise that you are neither afraid -nor angry If the person looks upset and confronts you physically you might want to diffuse -tension by calmly introducing yourself You could advance a single fist for them to bump their -fist against or advance an open hand to initiate a handshake -What is the best way to shake hands It is pretty easy Open the web between your thumb -and index finger wide and make an effort to stick it firmly into their web Keep your palm flat -rather than cupped so that you can increase the surface area of contact between your palms -Wrap your hand around theirs and squeeze firmly Dont allow anyone to twist your wrist -during the shake Shake athletically from the elbow and linger for a moment A firm handshake -that moves fluidly up and down shows that you are not trembling Much of the same goes for -hugs Hugs should be nourishing long firm and without startling or any sudden involuntary -movements -Negative Physical Encounters -if someone succeeds in provoking you realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation -Epictetus c -Come to grips with the fact that you may have to fight to protect yourself or others -Animal behaviorists almost always recommend that you fight back fiercely if attacked by an -animal Criminologists recommend that you do the same if assaulted by a human Dont attack -until after they have launched the first offensive but once they do you have carte blanche -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Fight fair but fight with zest gumption and a determination to end the altercation quickly and -with as little destructiveness as necessary Keep in mind that you can be legally and financially -liable for any injuries you cause and that if you gravely hurt the person or kill them you could -end up in jail for decades or even for the rest of your life -In most escalating situations if the person can tell that you are not afraid of fighting them -but are also not intentionally provoking them they will leave you alone The best way to avoid -a fight is to show with your face that you are not scared at all and that you are not interested -No one is going to want to fight you if you look like you are disinterested in fighting You want -your attitude to say Oh we can certainly fight but only as a last resort have found that it -can help to tell yourself that you do not fight civilians just monsters supervillains evil robots -invading aliens and extreme threats to good -It can also help to stop thinking of physical combat as traumatic Dont fear it or give it -more power than it deserves People that fight frequently think little of it Think of it as a right -of passage or as a game that you are willing to play if necessary It is an undertaking that serves -as a final deciding factor in a dispute Even if you lose remain relaxed Hey lost you got me -or Well the fella whupped me pretty good so suppose he can have his way this time -There should be no shame in declining to fight or in losing a fight -Many people find themselves pulled into fights due to an immature sign of petulance on -their faces They are displaying an air of submissive threat Primates generally make two kinds -of threats confident and subordinate Subordinate threats are reckless They come from a -place of fear and pain and have startle embedded within them Most threats in humans and -primates are subordinate -Monkeys will stare jerk their head lunge forward or fakecharge to try to get another -group member to submit These are usually bluffs Many wild animals will stop altogether if the -other merely holds its ground Even pound charging elephants are known to turn away -at the last second from a human standing calmly with planted feet People relying on physical -intimidation are looking for easy targets It is the same when people try to criticize you -Those who crumble get picked on forever Dont be intimidated Plant your feet If you act -afraid of a carnivorous mammal this forces it to become more aggressive If you act afraid -of other people it similarly forces them instinctively to persecute you further -How would you act if you encountered a wolf or mountain lion on a hike Ideally you -would want to act dominant and indifferent but always letting the animal know youre aware -of its every movement If you do this properly it will keep a safe distance most of the time -as youre telling it you feel secure enough to claim and remain in your territory You are -communicating that you pose a greater threat to it than it does to you This is the mindset to -use in public places You want to implicitly communicate that you pose a bigger threat to others -than they pose to you but that you have no desire or intent to harm -If we can resolve to refrain from physical violence until it is the very last option we can -greatly reduce our level of stress because the expectation of physical conflict is one of the main -things that causes us to brace our chakralike modules Actively refraining from violence is an -ageold practice The Hindu and Buddhist practice of ahimsa from the Sanskrit word for -noninjury is a doctrine of renouncing any form of violence toward any living being It is a -beautiful way to live life -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -Conclusion -A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men Thomas Carlyle -Because our brains expect that we will be actively competing for food and sex they expect us -to have enemies Genetically prepared instincts influence us to take the closest thing they can -find to an enemy and villainize them This is also why if you put two unfamiliar adult cats into -a room they will probably not get along You might desperately want them to get along -they might be happier if they didbut often they cannot get past their reflexive defense -mechanisms This confused displaced hostility is also present in the modern workplace and -home where conflict seems to be the norm It is all too easy for values and prehistoric -programming to clash Anger often erupts out of an interaction between two people who both -feel they are completely reasonable As with the cats this is largely neurological -A large proportion of animals will attack their reflection when they see a mirror for the first -time Apes will commonly take offense from their own body posturing They send and receive -threatening displays to their reflection until they provoke themselves into assaulting the mirror -If you saw a mirror image of yourself and didnt recognize it would you be offended by your -own social displays Could you get along with yourself -Some animals see their reflections in the mirror and want to play Isnt that beautiful -Let us be that way Why not carry ourselves in a way that influences others to be playful -We will delve into this in the next chapter -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Bullet Points -e Hostility is associated with heart disease high blood pressure insulin resistance and -inflammation -e There is no need to be right or make anyone else wrong -e Dont embed barbs in your comments -e Never let anything anyone says cause you to beat yourself up from the inside -e Use skillful assertion to bring out the best in people -e Doas muchas you can to see others as tribe members collaborators and players on the -same team rather than rivals -e You should never feel forced to choose between being a nice guy no one respects and -being a jerk who gets everything he wants -When dealing with a difficult person you want to sidestep their negativity and take the -shortcut to the outcome that you want while remaining fair and equitable -e Resist the emotional urge to take offense and pursue vengeance -e Respond to provocation with calm noncontention -e Handle conflict charismatically -e Never respond as if you are reacting to bullying Never be a victim -e Trying to be better than other people and outdo them is exhausting and ends up taxing -your health -e Cultivate selfawareness for your tendency to take out frustrations and transfer blame -e Dont let anyone grab you by the breath -e Acknowledge that your actions and opinions are fallible -e Feel comfortable apologizing and offering clarification for your behaviors -e Avoid implicitly condoning acts of incivility that you witness -e Lower your constant guard against perceived diminishment and loss of ego -e Reframe the offenses of others as shortcomings in priorities judgment social maturity -and word choice -e Demonstrate more interest in finding a solution than in defending a position -e Retain your peace regardless of the other persons disposition -e Listen to and make an effort to understand others perspectives without interrupting -e Instead of contradicting the contribution of another think about how you can build on -top of it -e Beapsychopath with a heart of gold -e Be absolutely unflappable Pretend you are a god if need be That calm exterior starts as -a bluff but becomes a way of life -e Assume the best or neutral motives in others Maintain an objective stance when -conflict arises -e Instead of taking in the worst from everyone and reacting against it selectively take the -best and channel it into everything you do -Chapter Rise Above Status Conflict -Chapter Endnotes -Andersson L Pearson C Tit for tat The spiraling effect of incivility in the -workplace The Academy of Management Review -Porath C L Erez A Does rudeness really matter The effects of rudeness on -task performance and helpfulness Academy of Management Journal -Sapolsky R M The influence of social hierarchy on primate health Science -Shepherd S V Platt M L Neuroethology of attention in primates In M L Platt -A A Ghazanfar Eds Primate neuroethology pp Oxford University Press -Panksepp J Affective neuroscience of the emotional BrainMind evolutionary -perspectives and implications for understanding depression Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience -Maletic V M Robinson M Oakes T lyengar S Ball S G Russell J -Neurobiology of depression An integrated view of key findings International Journal of Clinical -Practice -Millan C Peltier M J Cesars way The natural everyday guide to -understanding correcting common dog problems Random House -Conniff R The ape in the corner office Random House -Blair R Coles M Expression recognition and behavioral problems in early -adolescence Cognitive Development pp Stevens D Charman T Blair -R J R Recognition of emotion in facial expressions and vocal tones in children with -psychopathic tendencies The Journal of Genetic Psychology -Blair R J R Responsiveness to distress cues in the child with psycholopathic -tendencies Personality and Individual Differences Levenston G Patrick C -Bradley M Lang P The psychopath as observer Emotion and attention in picture -processing Journal of Abnormal Psychology -Buckholtz J W Treadway M T Cowan R L Woodward N D Benning S D Li R -Ansari M S Baldwin R M Schwartzman A N Shelby E S Smith C E Cole D Kessler -R M Zald D H Mesolimbic dopamine reward system hypersensitivity in individuals -with psychopathic traits Nature neuroscience -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness -Composed Kindness -No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own -utility you must live for your neighbor if you would live for yourself Seneca c BCE -Trust men and they will be true to you treat them greatly and they will show themselves great Ralph Waldo -Emerson -People are often hesitant to be nice It is stigmatized When we see polite people they often -cause us to wonder Are they so friendly because they are weak This is a common -contention because being kind often involves slowing down letting others have their way and -handicapping oneself But equating niceness with weakness is fallacious because being nice -doesnt necessarily mean that you allow others to take advantage This is because it is entirely -possible to be selfcomposed when kind Composed kindness has very few costs Employing it -will improve your interpersonal functioning and restore your good faith in others In Chapter -said that people were taking my anxious kindness for weakness making me into a bitter -person You will find that people take your composed kindness for strength making you into a -people person -Every encounter you have with another person is an opportunity for you to practice -composed kindness Keep spreading goodwill whether others reciprocate or not Starting with -unilateral kindness can help you surmount the other persons defense mechanisms Be -prepared to be the cheerful helpful chap in a world full of miserable Scrooges Presume good -faith and positive intentions This eventually brings the best out in everyone You cannot lose so -long as you maintain your sense of enlightened benevolence guided by your personal code -and centered by unbothered breathing -Being Cool Is Disarming -One of the best ways to bring composure to your kindness is by being cool Done right it can -disarm pettiness What does acting cool mean to you To answer this think of the top five -coolest people you know Who would be on your list of the coolest celebrities Who were the -people you looked up to in your youth When have you been cool in the past Channel this -energy Think urbane suave garrulous jocular and levelheaded You want sangfroid verve -cachet and moxie Think firmness of character force of determination steadiness of nerves -unruffled tact and being powerfully goodnatured Keep the word savoirfaire and its -definition in mind the ability to speak or behave appropriately and at ease in social situations -Being cool means not being afraid of being too calm This can make you come off as numb -or detached and that is okay Dont be afraid to zone out on your friends They may take it as -aloofness and try to push you away But if you dont push back and you leave the door open -allowing them to linger many people will choose to hang out and hang loose with you Try to -get them to detach as much as you have proving that forced extraversion isnt necessary -Take breaks from talking and just take in your surroundings Never feel pressured to keep -interacting Lounge in comfortable silences Dont use adrenaline to help you complete your -sentence or help you find that term on the tip of your tongue Dont allow cortisol to dictate -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -your personality at the event Instead use serotonin endorphins and oxytocin to help you -build rapport -Being cool is about having sustainable body language in social situations You want to -operate in a way that would not fatigue even if you had to socialize for hours straight -How would you behave if you knew that you would be awake surrounded by people and face -toface interactions for two full days You would have to pace yourself This would require you -to allow plenty of microbreaks to each of various modules Your face voice breath -and posture would have to be indefatigable invulnerable to fatigue And if you were to -maintain your assertiveness for the duration you would have to be very cool Almost every -one of the exercises in this book will enhance your cool Facial massage gut compression -vocal rehab and increasing diaphragm range will all contribute significantly -For your coolness to be tenable in the long term you must act like everyone else is cool -When you treat someone else as though they were cool you validate them Thus the best way -to make yourself seem normal and wellfunctioning is to treat everyone else as normal and -wellfunctioning So act as if you expect the other person to be confident and at ease in -everything they say and do -Act as if Nothing ls Awkward -Most peoples attempts at social dominance center around making others feel as if they are less -socially skilled The people around you try to gaslight you into thinking that you are socially -incompetent Over time this caused me to act as if everything did and most things that others -did was awkward felt that had social shortcomings and owed it to others to use my body -language to recognize this or else was shameless would also subtly patronize others for -their uncouth blunders thinking it would be dishonest to ignore these This led me into a -downward spiral of awkwardness -One day tried the opposite acted like nothing anyone did was amateur pretended to -be comfortable with every aspect of the interactions had quickly found that this tactic works -wonders and that it is at the heart of being cool as well as being simultaneously nondominating -and nonsubmissive The more we treat others as if they are adroit socially the better they feel -about themselves and the more they like us Do this and be shameless about it Act as if you -and whoever youre with are the coolest people on the planet Once you put this into effect -you will find that your gallant speech and actions send chills up your spine Your own behavior -will become your primary source of endorphins and you will get hooked on being assertive in a -debonair way -Treating people who are awkward or socially defeated as if they are normal will liberate -them We should strive to make everyone feel socially facile even if talking to them is -uncomfortable at first Ignore the unrefined aspects of their presentation and express -enthusiasm for what they are trying to communicate Move on quickly from their -embarrassments and bloopers Ignore any tension leakage they may exhibit Most people focus -on all that is ugly and inept in others When you dont even perceive these things you give -them a chance to blossom -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -Being Humble Rescues You from Status Competition -Because our genes have been subjected to the primate status hierarchy for tens of millions of -years our brains have a propensity to interpret every occurrence as either a promotion or a -demotion It is instinctual Boasting for example becomes common in children as young as -three The ego wants to turn relationships into selfaggrandizement Left unchecked it will turn -everyone even friends and family into a means to an end This instinct to constantly defend -ourselves drains us of the same composure that it intends to conserve -Indeed confidence is necessary but egotism is incredibly tiresome Paradoxically taking -yourself too seriously is a submissive trait Developing a side of yourself that is humble and -modest is necessary for being happy Counterintuitively it is also empowering because it allows -you not to be affected by constant demotions We need humility and unobtrusiveness They -afford us a type of confidence that is unconditional and not based on external circumstances -Happiness Activity Renouncing the Ego -Consider the Buddhist concept of nonself The Buddha recommended that we imagine -having no social identity to protect and obsess over He asked us to recognize the unreality of -the selfconcept and the need to be better than others Buddhists use the word sunyata to -describe both the emptiness and the spaciousness that is achieved when the ego disappears -Can you get yourself to feel it -Imagine voluntarily relinquishing your identity pride and ego Imagine having no name no -body and no physical attributes Imagine having no possessions education resume -accomplishments and no reputation in the world There would be nothing to gloat about -but also nothing for others to criticize There would be no striving for prestige and no social -comparison It would mean being formless and selftranscendent What would it be like to -have no ego for the rest of your life -Another aspect of being cool is not being focused on yourself Dont think about how -you are perceived when you are actively socializing Pretend to have as little selfawareness of -your appearance as possible Over time this will manifest Impression management and self -monitoring can be critical but at times try to stop thinking about others social evaluations of -you Tell yourself that you have already had enough approval compliments and praise from -others to last a lifetime and that you dont need any more This will help you stop identifying -with the evaluations of others An old clich tells us that confidence isnt thinking youre better -than others its not even bothering to make the comparison This logic holds As the charitable -bighearted alphaminded individual you are work toward being oblivious to your conceits -Healthy humility will make it so that you dont have to look for evidence of your worth -anymore Bring an end to the need to measure yourself against other people You want to be a -strong presence that doesnt glorify or advertise itself Being humble also precludes you from -having to continually prove yourself so that you are not embarrassed when you inevitably make -mistakes We should be willing and happy to play a game with a friend even when we know -she is much better than us The only person you should be working toward being better than is -the human being you were yesterday -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -This next activity is sometimes regarded in Buddhism and Hinduism as the single most -potent metaphysical practice It will tear your false pride to shreds and reveal emotional -maturity underneath it It involves resisting the temptation to defend yourself in front of -others Spiritual author Eckhart Tolle has an insight about this practice When you are -seemingly diminished in some way and remain in absolute nonreaction not just externally but -also internally you realize that nothing real has been diminished that through becoming less -you become more -Happiness Activity Allowing Diminishment of the Ego -Allow another person to say something to diminish your standing without making any -attempt to restore it Allow other people to strike blows to your pride whether by being -brusque criticizing you blaming you or saying something explicitly wrong about you Notice -how it makes you feel inside Become comfortable with the discomfort that it creates Notice -what your normal response would be and inhibit it Remember that you are never required -to retaliate or defend yourself If the other person is waiting for your response perhaps -agree with the part of what they said that is reasonable -The best way to cultivate inner freedom is to learn to relax around petty rude and -aggressive people The need to defend yourself will diminish until it becomes clear to everyone -that there is nothing they can do to aggravate you Every time you stop yourself from -overreacting it gets easier Likewise every time you stop yourself from status maneuvering -social chess jockeying for power and pretending to be someone you are not it gets easier -Endearing But Still Composed -This book has argued that we should not act submissive because of the way it increases tension -in the body over time However body and voice movements that take effort or briefly -compromise composure endear people There are many ways to do this that come across as -warm but that are not inferiority displays and wont lead to repetitive strain For example -some endearing forms of body language include keeping your palms up moving closer to -people pointing your feet toward them and rubbing your hands together -We should even use selfhandicapping displays at times Do this judiciously a little bit at a -time without letting it cripple you If you dont brace them and give them the microbreaks -they need the modules involved will recharge and can be used again right away with no cost -It is endearing to squint raise the eyebrows raise the shoulders crinkle the nose speak in a -high voice and stoop over for brief periods As long as it only persists for a few seconds and -trigger points are not made active it wont drain you -Embracing Composed Submissiveness -Up until now this book has denigrated submissiveness We have discussed various ways that it -damages both composure and health But it is entirely possible to be composed and -submissive There are times when composed submissiveness is not just appropriate but also -beneficial These are the times when we let or encourage others to lead -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -It can be freeing to be mellow and passive and to support the leadership of others -Allow other people to take over and yourself to relax when they do Relish the relief from being -in charge Do so while exuding balanced nonconfrontational energy Perpetual assertion takes -its toll It involves intense face time eye contact talking decision making and an overtaxing of -existing bracing patterns It leads to social fatigue and is why highpressure executives and CEOs -can age so rapidly We should be handing over the pack leader role constantly passing it -around from person to person sharing the stage the crown and the accompanying burdens -Often in real life we are forced to play an inferior role At our workplace we must submit -to higherups to keep our jobs and advance our careers There are many reasons you should -treat your boss as the dominant individual Whats more it may be best for you your boss and -the business to allow them to act superior in some ways That said dont hurt yourself just to -let the boss be the boss Acquiesce appropriately to your employer law enforcement judges -and other authority figures without diminishing your posture shortening your breath or -surrendering your pride This will allow you to maintain a healthy serotonin level regardless of -your place on the corporate ladder -Just because you dont try to stop someone from acting dominant doesnt mean they are -dominating you They are only dominating you if you are inhibiting yourself or avoiding -confrontation with them out of fear They can never dominate you as long as you stay -composed Take sovereignty from needless oneupmanship -Keep in mind that everyone has essential observations and keen insights to impart -All humans are our fellows and our equals As Ralph Waldo Emerson said Every man meet is -in some way my superior So let every man and woman be your superior at times especially -when they have something to teach you When you see someone do better than you at -something you value dont feel envious or threatened Instead feel eager to learn This is ego -stability and emotional strength -When threatened by an intruder a dominant gorilla will let out a tremendous roar charge -and knock down the newcomer with an immense hand swipe However outside of defending -themselves and their group members dominant gorillas do not generally overtly assert their -rank Even though gorillas are immense powerhouses animal behaviorists often describe them -as shy because most of the time they dont feel like they have anything to prove It is not that -they are shy it is that we are arrogant pompous and flagrantly adversarial -The only way to transcend the dominance hierarchy is to be content when you temporarily -find yourself in a subordinate position to be comfortable when others perceive you as -subordinate without trying to change their mind You dont want to be a doormat but neither -do you want to be consumed by resisting looking like a doormat Only doormats worry about -being doormats -Our unconscious mind values prestige over happiness The two are often at odds You can -change this by intentionally pursuing happiness over prestige -Optimism Excitement and Feeling Good -It pays to be happy Optimists live longer have stronger immune systems recover from injury -more quickly and have increased mental and physical health Happiness and positive emotions -are linked to higher earnings better appraisal at work relationships of higher quality and -increased likability Happy people are perceived as more intelligent competent and physically -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -attractive Optimists cope more effectively with stress are generally healthier and are less -likely to become depressed When optimists have coronary bypass surgery they heal more -quickly than pessimists Positive thinking results in a cardiovascular system that is less reactive -to stress But how do we become happy in the first place -Optimists attribute the cause of adverse events to external specific and transient factors -In other words they see a tragedy as a oneoff fluke Pessimists on the other hand attribute -failures to their own internal global and permanent shortcomings They see themselves as -useless and assume the world is out to get them If this is you stop it Regain your optimism by -recognizing that you have the potential to fix anything and everything that has ever been wrong -with your life Recognize that the future you will be skilled and competent enough to solve -any problems that arise -We are constantly making expressions to ourselves as we go about our days alone -Whatever these expressions are they constitute our true selves For most people its wincing -If thats you make the gestures and facial expressions of happiness when you are by yourself -The smiling and the postural alterations from previous chapters will help with this If solitary -happiness is not practiced regularly attempts at appearing happy among others will be fake -Remember how excited you could become as a child You had no reservations about expressing -exuberance and enthusiasm Nothing is stopping you from feeling zestfully happy right now -aside from the force of habit -have spent much of this book describing how we use our bodily energy to traumatize our -tissues This might make you assume that our life force is destructive It is not You must -redirect that same life force away from anxiety and tension toward happiness and joy The -more you do this the less energy there is to sustain stress Doing so actively reprograms how -your body routes energy setting you up for hardwired happiness Accordingly all the exercises -in this book should be done with joy and optimistic expectations This will make them much -more powerful -Be a lifeless corpse when it comes to tension ego and pessimism When it comes to -playfulness however thats when you want to be alive and spend your chilike energy on -positive social displays Lets start with laughter -Laughter in Other Animals -Many mammals laugh For example most rodents emit long ultrasonic vocalizations during -rough and tumble play The sounds rats and mice make have been described as chirping and -occur in the kHz range inaudible to humans When chirping they actively seek being -tickled and played with They chirp when wrestling chasing or searching for one another -They chirp during courting and before copulation Researchers have interpreted rat chirping as -an expectation of something rewarding and it appears to elicit friendly social approach in other -members of their species It also nullifies anxiety If you tickle a rat after a fearful situation -it will neutralize the negative emotions and vastly decrease any fearrelated learning going on -in its brain -Dogs can pant using heavy forced exhalations in a way that suggests a form of modified -laughter They use it during play Dogs exposed to a recorded doglaugh exhibit significantly -reduced stress behaviors increased tail wagging the display of the canine playface as well -as prosocial behavior such as approaching and licking another dogs lips -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -Chimps gorillas and orangutans all exhibit laughterlike vocalizations in response to -physical play including friendly contact like chasing wrestling and tickling It is a shallow pant -conveying nonaggression that is highly reminiscent of suppressed laughter in humans Their -laughter shows the same sonographic pattern as that of human babies They also use similar -facial expressions while laughing and are ticklish in the same areas that humans are Ape -laughter consists of a series of exhalations and inhalations like panting On the other hand -human laughter consists of a series of exhalations with no intervening inhalations -Mice dogs apes and humans make their breath shallow to create rapport Insistence on -breathing at long intervals caused me to stop doing this was so focused on diaphragmatic -breathing that refused to breathe shallowly even when joking with friends This is like refusing -to make anything other than an expressionless face Think of shallow breathing during fun -jovial play as a form of healthy panting that serves as a temporary microbreak or counterpose -to diaphragmatic breathing Refusing to pant is refusing to play -Rehabilitating Your Laughter Will Make It Much More Pleasurable -Gelotology is the study of laughter and the positive effects it can have on the body Proponents -advocate the induction of laughter on therapeutic grounds Laughter yoga hasya yoga and -laughter meditation also use voluntary laughter for therapeutic purposes Studies have shown -that it alleviates both stress and pain These practices assume that voluntary or forced -laughter provides some of the same benefits as spontaneous laughter Voluntary laughter is -often done in groups and may turn into real laughter Participants are instructed to facilitate -laughing by using childlike playfulness and eye contact These practices are great but think -they do not get down to the issues crux From what have seen people who engage in this -practice are mostly laughing superficially To reap the benefits we must isolate and strengthen -the core laughing reflex -The muscles involved in laughing have been traumatized by life stress As an infant your -laugh was primordial and bona fide Years of anxious laughter and worrying that your laugh is -too aggressive have damaged your instinctual laughing pattern As you might expect people -who are depressed or anxious have the least convincing laughs Extremely dominant people -laugh loudly without hesitating at whatever they like Most people however stifle their -laughter in the same way they stifle their posture and breathing This explains why most adults -laughter is eccentric and deviated from the innate laughter pattern -A babys laughter is vivacious and natural To relearn to laugh genuinely it is helpful to -watch infants and toddlers laughing Take the time to search for videos of babies laughing -on the internet and mimic them You will see that infants dont stifle their laughter They dont -worry about their laugh being too forceful or about offending someone Neither should we -Your laugh should shake you to your core and be intensely pleasurable -A hearty and progressive emptying of the lungs applies a significant load to the diaphragm -and the muscles of the chest wall triggering the endorphin system This is why social laughter -is correlated with an elevated pain threshold However most adult laughs hardly activate -the pleasure system at all After years of stifling laughter we have forgotten how to laugh in -a way that produces this response For many people the diaphragms role in laughter has -been weakened so much that laughter no longer recruits endorphins and is draining rather -than energizing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Fake or nervous laughter comes from the throat and often results in increased tension -there During natural laughter the diaphragm does most of the work By training yourself -to laugh through deep contractions of the diaphragm and abdominals you can rebuild an -authentic laugh These muscles should reach exhaustion and start to fail during a good laugh -If your diaphragm and abdominals begin to burn like they did when you were a child you know -that you are doing it right The next exercise will show you exactly how to retrain your -diaphragm to fully participate in the act of laughing -Happiness Exercise Diaphragmatic Laughing -Practice laughing while exhaling completely This involves an uninterrupted emptying of the -lungs Inhale completely only after you laughexhale completely Your exhale should consist -of a long series of laughing sounds punctuated by vocal glottal closure haha equals two -glottal closures The brief closing of the vocal tract glottis against the exhalation allows -pressure to build and makes the laugh sound like a series of rapidfire punches They should -roll out somewhat like the Rs when you roll your tongue Practice this as an exercise and -attempt to make the laughter last for at least five seconds but shoot for to seconds -Laugh all the way to the bottom of your range of exhalation Use the principles of anti -rigidity Try the following variations -Focus on and coordinate the laughs glottal closures so that they proceed at a -smooth and steady rate -Notice inadvertent irregularities in timing as well as the tendency to gulp -choke or falter and iron these out Its okay if it sounds mechanical and -robotic at first while you are relearning the basics -Cause the punctuated exhalations to roll out as fast as possible while -maintaining a fixed rhythm After you gain coordination in speeding them up -try slowing them down -Do this using your voice at various pitches but focus most on using a deep -voice to create a deep laugh -Explore your preferred ways of laughing varying resonance inflection and -timing Modulate each in as many ways as possible -Employ different melodies and model other peoples laughs Spend time -listening to and imitating actor Mark Hamills maniacal Joker laugh -Try laughing while exhaling completely until it turns into a wheeze and you -feel you dont have a cubic centimeter of air left in your lungs Ensure that the -laughing pattern remains coordinated even at the bottom of your exhalation -This will greatly strengthen the muscles involved -Dont raise your shoulders when you laugh and focus on keeping them pushed -toward the floor Maintain the tenets of optimal posture Dont allow your -spine to curve into a forward C shape You might try lying on your stomach -while you laugh to ensure that your spine is straight -Do this with a thoroughly relaxed face or while you massage your face so that -you can laugh heartily without intense facial constriction Induce paroxysms of -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -laughter without raising the eyebrows squinting sneering or tensing any -other muscles -The pressure to keep exhaling should be forceful and have a life of its own It -should feel like a boa constrictor is wrapped around your chest squeezing you -hard and only giving you a short period to inhale every few seconds -Laugh authoritatively compellingly boldly forcefully mightily Work on -making it contagious -Because the muscles are strained stagnant and uncoordinated your laugh may sound like -that of an insane villain at first But with practice it will become friendly and ebullient It is -important to do this exercise loudly gleefully and unhesitatingly so make sure that you are not -worried about others hearing you Do it in a closet or better yet in the car -It will be uncomfortable at first The muscles you engage may be so weak that they feel -susceptible to damage Mine certainly were If so take it easy the first few days and build up to -doing it vigorously Use laughter to work out the cramp in your diaphragm This exercise is a -powerful complement to diaphragmatic breathing exercises and will help you reach muscles -that you otherwise could not To this end try it while lying on your stomach from a forward -fold or from happy baby pose with your belly pushed out -At first the laughing exercise should make you feel weary After only one week you will be -able to push harder and be more adept at coordinating the pulses of laughter After a few -weeks you will be good at it and find yourself laughing more often This exercise transformed -my laugh from a flimsy perfunctory courtesy laugh into something enjoyable Now laugh -spontaneously heartily resolutely and much more frequently find laughing tremendously -gratifying and things that were barely amusing to me before are now hilarious -believe that laughing evolved to help humans let off steam It may have allowed instances -of camaraderie and social bonding to influence an individuals life strategy to place less value -on the adaptive aspects of trauma In other words the more conducive your environment is to -laughing the more your body assumes that your environment is a good one and that it is safe -to be optimistic A real laugh was probably designed by evolution to help us attain a fullrange -hard contraction of the diaphragm As with panthooting Exercise this contraction -relieves the diaphragm of the partial contraction caused by stress and shallow breathing -The more you rehabilitate your laugh the more you increase your diaphragms potential -for providing you with endorphins Remember that endorphins are most reliably produced by -grooming singing laughing and play These are addressed in Chapter Chapter this -section and the next section respectively -Some people with relatively calm nasopharynxes can clear their nasopharynx in the same -way others clear their throats It is like snorting except it involves breathing out rather than -breathing in Some people call it a nose laugh see it as a dominance signal conveying that the -persons nasopharynx is not tense When my nasopharynx was tense was incapable of -doing it Once you have compressed your nasopharynx using the exercises in Chapter -you can build the coordination to perform this empowering laugh -Some people use this signal to laugh at something they find inferior like rolling the eyes -Please dont use it derisively or to ridicule people Instead use it as a heartfelt laugh to -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -communicate that you are enjoying absurdity People usually find it exciting and it makes them -want to laugh along with you -Happiness Exercise Laugh through the Nasopharynx -Use a brief to seconds but powerful exhalation to force air out through your -nasopharynx with the mouth closed This snort is similar to a scoff or chortle It sometimes -arises when you try to withhold laughter First practice doing it in small short bursts to -develop the proper coordination so that you can build up to doing it in a prolonged way -With practice you will be able to hold convincing threesecond nose laughs It is a convivial -way to express amusement that improves quickly with practice -Be Playful -We dont stop playing because we grow old we grow old because we stop playing George Bernard Shaw -Play like laughter is a form of medicine but certain conditions must be met for it to be -genuine All stressors anger fear pain hunger and separation reduce play Animals must be -well fed comfortable and healthy for play to take place When these conditions are met rats -and mice chase and pounce wrestle pin nip poke and knock each other over This is the kind -of play that generates highfrequency laughterlike chirps at kHz Physical roughandtumble -play is the most fun of all At one point thought all aggressive acts were unpleasant but -judging from play in other mammals feigned aggression can be joyous -It is important to note that when mammals play rapid role reversal is a defining element -In other words they know it is friendly when everyone gets a chance to be on top Knowledge -of this should influence us to pass being dominant back and forth with our friends The rat that -ends up on top more often during pins becomes dominant The continuation of play -necessitates a willingness on the part of the winner to selfhandicap Dominant rats that go -easy on others always have playmates but those that bully are ignored when they try to solicit -play Play helps animals determine who to avoid and with whom they can develop cooperative -relationships They learn to dominate but also accept defeat without being defeated -Dominant animals would rather play but aggressive animals would rather fight Rats -involved in a fight bite each other and box This can lead to injury They stand on their hind legs -and strike each other with their front paws When they do this the kHz laughter turns into -kHz complaints This is similar to chimpanzees among whom play is accompanied by -wrestling panting and a play face whereas fighting involves boxing tearing scratching biting -and barking -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -Ilustration Animals playing -Rather than being based around wrestling human play focuses on verbal interchange and -banter Repartee involves provocation rejoinders biting commentary and if friendly laughter -As in other mammals this form of verbal jousting can engender friendship respect and -cooperation It can be made more fun with the use of bombastic quarreling absurd -braggadocio frivolous histrionics grandiose pretentiousness and ostentatious balderdash -When you do it be spunky employ exuberance and enjoy it You dont have to act excitable to -be sparkling and bubbly you just need to be playful Usually if you manage to entertain -yourself others will be entertained as well -Remember to be like the mice during play and allow others their opportunity to be on top -lest you risk losing playmates This includes giving others equal chance to talk and refraining -from dominating conversations A dog initiates play by crouching A monkey initiates it by -exposing its rear end Both of these actions involve selfdiminishment and vulnerability -Showing others that you dont take yourself too seriously or exposing a vulnerability can make -them want to play with you After experimenting with this for years now have concluded that -you can be as vulnerable and nice as you can and as long as you are playful it wont be -mistaken for weakness -Play ranks among the most beneficial neuroplastic interventions Placing rodents into -enriched environments where they can socialize wrestle and play with others results in -heavier brains and higher levels of dopamine endorphins and serotonin Studies have found -that rats deprived of play are more fearful and aggressive toward other rats Encouraging -playfulness in animals is one of the few behavioral interventions known to reverse anxiety and -depressive symptoms This is probably because it allows them to shift from the threat -response to the challenge response -Social play involves creativity and requires that we learn to approach others in diverting -and lively ways Imagination and fantasy can also facilitate play My favorite way to play with -people is to make up imaginary scenarios What would you do if am animated -shameless and immature when doing this My scenarios include helicopters ninjas dinosaurs -and hats with pinwheels on top of them When other people do this recognize it as play -participate and egg them on by laughing with them Whenever someone uses an analogy or -poetic license to describe a situation help them flesh it out until you have created a whimsical -comical cartoon world Feel at home with wordplay punning nonsense and silliness -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Ask outrageous questions set up outlandish hypotheticals and feel comfortable acting like -a kid If you have genuine heartfelt fun they will too so entertain yourself and your sense of -humor first -Reawaken Your Play Face -A simple openmouthed expression in primates called the playface communicates that play -is either underway or about to begin It often accompanies primate laughter The jaw is wide -open and sometimes the corners of the mouth are slightly drawn back Unlike the primate -sneer or grin the expression is relaxed and the teeth are usually covered completely All apes -as well as macaques patas vervets and rhesus monkeys use the playface Common during -play sessions in juveniles it is also an adult expression It is used to enlist others to play and is -accompanied by a jaunty sprightly air The display is usually reciprocated immediately It is often -interspersed with tumbling tickling chasing wrestling playgnawing and lipsmacking sounds -We know the primate playface as gaping in childlike wonderment Our ability to gape has -been reduced by our uptight attitudes and by excessive tension in the jaw However we can -refurbish it Recover yours because in some ways the playface is better than the smile -Happiness Exercise Gaping in Childlike Awe Is the PlayFace -Bring back your childhood ability to express astonishment and delight Relax your eyebrows -widen your eyes and allow your jaw to gape widely Gape without baring the teeth Gape as -if you have no inhibitions about how your wideopen mouth will appear to other people -Imagine that your wide mouth influences others to share your sense of playfulness and -excitement Pretend you are seven and just discovered something wonderful that you can -share with your buddies Alternate this expression with your smile When you use it think -Thats incredible or Wanna play It also makes a great greeting or a reaction to -a surprise -Illustration A Woman in awe B Chimpanzee play face C Baby excited -Happy babies open their mouths wide when laughing Socially defeated adults open their -mouths the least In my twenties wasnt able to open my jaw fully and trying to was painful -Any gaping would make my jaw creak and crack Dropping my jaw in any social situation -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -seemed like dropping my guard Pairing gaping with diaphragmatic breathing for less than -minutes gave my jaw an oil change It has never creaked or cracked since Now that gaping feels -natural feel less serious and more encouraged to have fun Master your play face -Become a Great Conversationalist -One of the best ways to play with and love others is through conversation Unfortunately -most of us have learned to converse competitively The conversational narcissist wants to keep -the attention on themselves and control the conversation as much as possible We are all -narcissistic in this way and we all see conversations as competitions to some extent -We pretend to listen but are really just thinking about what we want to say once we have found -an opening or way to interrupt This is like the mouse that always wants to be on top Nobody -wants to play with him -Lavish your attention on the other speaker Support their topics of choice Question how -you can get this person to open up further What is their underlying interest Keep asking -why until you get to what they want to say but arent saying Why helps you discover their -motivations for speaking It also helps to ask what where when and who Keep your -interrogatives openended They should act like bridges not dead ends Ask openended -questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no Ask And what did you say next -and Then what happened Focus on positive topics and use the word you more than -Turn Yeah but into Yes and Separate asking for clarification from disagreement and -separate debate from criticism -Without empathic listening and anticipating the motivations of others talking becomes -socialized egoism So urge them to elaborate Active listening involves engagement empathy -and validation Refer back to what they said earlier Reiterate their point but put a spin on it -Use your knowledge to help them flesh out and provide evidence for their ideas and opinions -The more interested you are in them the more interesting you will be to them Make people -feel like they matter The more you treat them as mature intelligent and wellfunctioning the -more they will see those qualities in you -Have you ever had a night out with a friend during which an absorbing conversation left -you feeling deeply satisfied Try to attain this kind of satisfaction for you and the other person -during every conversation Pursue a deep feeling of connection that makes the rest of the world -feel less important Good conversation is the primary form of social engagement for us humans -and the emotional connection it provides is one of the best ways to bond play and laugh It is -also a surefire way to activate the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system Even -simple things like brief face time short chats small talk and meals with others are vital to our -health Maximize your time spent with people who make you feel good after being with them -and try to be that person for others -Practice Dancing as a Form of Play -Dancing is one of the best forms of play It has been squelched for most of us due to social -apprehension selfinhibition and contamination from distressed breathing The following -exercise will address this by teaching you to rest while dancing -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Happiness Exercise Uninterrupted Freeform Dancing -Put on your favorite type of music to dance to Dont worry about using a breath metronome -but you might want to place some tape over your lips to ensure nasal breathing If you dont -have natural rhythm start by sitting down and making a fist Strike your fist softly on a stable -surface to the beat of the music Try to synchronize as best you can with the rhythm -Next bob your head in the same way -Take this synchronization with you as you stand up and start to pound your feet on the floor -to the music Step forward and back left and right so that your foot makes contact with the -ground at the exact time the beat hits Bend sway whirl and move your arms in time with -your feet If you dont know what to do with your feet then look up the twostep -Heres the key Dont stop no matter how awkward it feels Continue dancing completely -uninterrupted for at least one entire song Then try to dance through several songs while -imagining you are a professional performer or gogo dancer on a stage Since you are being -paid to dance you cannot stop By not stopping you force yourself to close the gaps in your -performance These gaps are where you usually stop dancing because you start to feel self -conscious and you look around at your friends with a sheepish smile while breathing -shallowly Push right through them Also use startle awareness to ensure that you are not -startling while moving -You brace certain body parts while dancing These tend to fatigue very quickly However -if you force yourself to keep moving you will learn to stop bracing them out of necessity -As you continue to fatigue you will have no choice but to learn to rest while dancing -You may have to dance continuously for at least minutes to reach this point In doing this -your dance moves will become less neurotically charged more fluent jubilant and playful -Let loose If it helps at all dance in the dark Dance as if no one is watching with no fear of -being seen as a quirky goofball The only reason you might look goofy is that letting loose -is unpracticed -Savor Goosebumps to Strengthen the Response -The fullbody tingling that you feel when you get goosebumps comes from a surge in -endorphins It is also known as the aesthetic chill response or frisson This happens when you -feel victorious encounter something beautiful hear a moving melody or even when you find -yourself strutting in the face of danger The goosebumps on your skin come from the bristling -of tiny hairs in a reaction called piloerection It makes furry animals look bigger by forcing their -hair to stand on end This is responsible for the raised hackles on a surprised wolf the plump -tail of a cat before a fight and for the bristling fur on a chimp that is marching around putting -on a dominance display -There are ways to elicit the response deliberately You can try listening to your favorite -music singing loudly and unabashedly panthooting partaking in ASMR via online videos -or by using the massage and caressing techniques discussed in Chapter Another way to send -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -a shiver up your spine is to combine the postural exercises from various chapters to walk -around in public as if you have an S on your chest Regardless the best way to strengthen the -bristling response is to savor it when it happens to you Savoring a sensation in this way is often -called sensate focus Focus on extending the feeling and pass your hand over the gooseflesh -to heighten the sensation Like all positive feelings and emotions every time you get -goosebumps relish the feeling and prepare yourself to welcome its return -Concluding Activity Awaken to the Pleasure in Your Body -Scientists recognize multiple painkilling substances that are produced naturally within the -body endorphins enkephalins endocannabinoids endogenous morphine and others Each -are being released more or less all the time They have powerful analgesic effects blocking -the communication of pain signals If you pay careful attention you can feel their effects -Too often we look for the pain Instead look for the pleasure -There is bliss to be found in everything you do Every breath every heartbeat every quiver of -every muscle holds a small amount of gratification You can magnify these pleasures just by -paying attention to them Most people know to look for the pleasure after they use alcohol -They ask themselves Wait just had a drink am supposed to feel euphoric where is that -feeling in my body Oh there it is That same feeling is constantly being generated within us -all the time just at a smaller scale All we need to do is sensitize ourselves to it Im still not -good at it yet but believe we can all build this skill As often as you can remain open to -and delight in the sensations involved in your bodys natural production of pleasure -wish had a more reliable method of activating and strengthening the pleasure response -because believe it is very positive But can report that the frisson response is much more -frequent in my life since have been using the Program Peace exercises believe that the -improvements that antirigidity has made to my posture played a large role As your confidence -increases your charisma will start to give you goosebumps -You Have Everything It Takes to Be Charismatic -want you to develop charisma in the same way that you developed your dancing abilities in -the section above In other words practice it under relaxed conditions hitting all the beats -without stopping Assert your opinions in front of others with conviction and panache -and keep them rolling at a sustainable pace This will unshackle you from all the bracing -patterns that typically bar you from doing it fluidly -To master charisma you need to indulge in a little showmanship You can never be the life -of the party until you start trying Hazard risks with a takecharge demeanor Be fully present -when speaking to people Give them your full attention and expect theirs Dont try too hard -to impress people Instead focus on impressing yourself Let your style and positivity make -them want to impress you Think of your social abilities as inexhaustible Imagine that they -replenish infinitely -When you deliver a line or story and you feel like it fell flat dont let that get you down -Often listeners just dont know what to say in response Dont let their silence take away your -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -momentum If you keep hitting them with smooth deliveries they will eventually show some -appreciation -To exhibit charisma you need to act in a way that makes people think that it would be a -good thing if you were in charge You must show the competence of a leader You want to -come across as strong decisive and a person others can rely on for guidance To do this create -a sense of constructive forward motion As a leader boss or manager express high -performance expectations of the people around you combined with confidence in their ability -to meet those expectations By having faith in others you build their confidence in themselves -and in you You want to send out indicators of alliance so people unconsciously assume that -you like them that you respect their opinion that you will include them and that you will back -them up when it counts -Did you know that psychologists generally consider optimism to be the key to charisma -Charisma is a set of nonverbal behaviors giving the impression that you have not only strength -but also a positive attitude It is a special mix of power and warmth that makes charismatic -people influential memorable persuasive and inspiring -Caring for Others Will Make You Happier -Moral integrity is key to happiness People who have ethical social habits are happier than -people who do not The first reason for this is that people are more likely to value you if they -see you as a good person Psychological research has found that the most important traits to -increase your likability are trustworthiness forthrightness warmth and kindness So choose -your words politely honor boundaries compromise show consideration admit when you are -wrong honor your word and show respect -Get over your issues Dont be petty or vain Dont seek attention Dont be racist or sexist -Never hate anyone Be a good sport and a good loser Dont say bad things behind peoples -backs Acknowledge other peoples contributions helpful advice and good decisions State -explicitly what they did to help you and how it helped Acknowledge peoples success no -matter how small and pay a compliment every time you notice something good Dont judge -people Be courteous Ask whether you can lend a hand Make an effort to be a friend -Remember that you must be a friend to have a friend -The second reason why moral integrity will make you happier is it stimulates an old part of -the brain responsible for tending and befriending All mammalian brains have a care and -nurturance system This system initiates instinctual behaviors meant to take care of the young -In female rats stimulation of this area promotes nest building licking grooming archedback -nursing hovering over pups and gathering those that stray from the nest Caring for young is as -vital to reproductive success as obtaining food and sex This is why it has similarly strong -connections to the brains pleasure systems In other words instead of using food and sex to -make yourself feel better use nurturance -When you care for others you activate this brain system along with the related reward -pathways This is why nurturing others naturally produces endorphins Helping others has been -shown to protect against the harmful effects of life trauma Volunteering after a natural -disaster protecting others during an attack caretaking community service and becoming a -peer counselor have all been shown to reduce stress It quiets the amygdala and decreases -inflammation It is sometimes called the helpers high People who volunteer in any capacity -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -have lower rates of heart disease and stroke lower mortality risk less depression and an -increased sense of purpose Activating the brains nurturance system also subdues the defeat -response because they are inherently incompatible Be a good kind person the best person -you can be Dig up all the good that you want in your life from within your own heart -Practice Being Pure of Heart -Being pure of heart has a reciprocal relationship with being free of nasty thoughts Seeing -yourself as wholesome and virtuous is the quickest route to becoming free from negative -rumination Repeatedly ask yourself whether your actions are noble and pure Holding yourself -to high standards sounds like an adult burden but will make you a kid at heart -Goku from the original Dragon Ball comic and TV show is a small naive child who doesnt -have a bad bone in his body He has a trusty cloud Flying Nimbus that he rides like a magic -carpet Only people who are pure of heart can ride the cloud Billy Batson is another small boy -this time from the world of DC comics whose purity allows him to take on the mantle of the -superhero Shazam Thor from the Marvel universe has worthiness that enables him to lift -Mijolnir his enchanted hammer have asked myself on many occasions Would be able to -ride that cloud don that cape or lift that hammer Would you -Let us practice indiscriminate and promiscuous kindness Let us do this not to be rewarded -but because it is the right thing like the saying that tells us Love the one that you are with -take this injunction further to mean that you should love whoever you find yourself with at -any moment Love thy neighbor Love thine enemy Use agape which is the GrecoChristian -term for selfless unbiased nonpossessive universal love Or experiment with using the -unconditional positive regard that many psychotherapists use with their clients When your -primary aim is to broadcast goodwill you act much less defensive and your composure quotient -will soar Thus a pure lighthearted mentality not only gives you access to the moral high -ground but will also affect many minutiae of your body language and microexpressions -improving your overall aura This is the bravery of the innocent -The key to being popular is to like more people Research has shown that likable people -like others On average the mostliked people like larger numbers of people and they like those -people more So forgive those you feel have wronged you Forgive your parents siblings -all your family and friends Then forgive everyone else from your past and present and even -your future Forgive people from every walk of life Forgive the rich the poor all sides of the -political spectrum Forgive humanity then fate and then the entire universe Have no fear of -rejection from others have no need to be accepted Be able to say love you with no regret -Cherish yourself and your body the way it is and know that you along with everyone else -are absolutely worthy of being loved -Human kindness is the surest step toward deep healing from any kind of trauma -Expect only good from others and project this expectation in the form of positive overtures -People wont be able to help but respond to you in positive ways and their responses will -reinforce your view of the world as a pleasant place further entrenching your expectations -If you work hard at becoming pure of heart you will earn your way to peace Combined -with altruistic acts youll find pleasure And combined with assertiveness and composure -you will find power -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -used to have a stinging pain in my chest that would surface during stress It was healed -after made a deliberate effort to be pure of heart The notion that had pure intentions -reassured some last bastion of muscles in my thorax that they could stop their defensive -bracing could feel these muscles release And because they could finally relax was able to -bring them to a full contraction using exercises such as the coughing laughing panthoot -and diaphragmatic stretching exercises Being pure of heart is the most foolproof way to ensure -that you are breathing easily and consider it the eighth and final tenet of optimal breathing -Conclusion -Most people have a secret fear of being bad or having done things for which they can never -atone But it is never too late to start being pure of heart You can do it at any point in time -Start now As you take on the Program Peace system recommend that you imagine yourself -turning over a new leaf Decide to let go of the regret shame and guilt you have carried with -you from past misdeeds and mistakes Turn any ounce of selfhatred that you may harbor into -selfforgiveness Guilt keeps us from becoming good people so use your participation here as -an excuse to get rid of it Purify your heart by allowing yourself to make it a clean slate -Trauma has made it difficult to be cool playful humorous and pure of heart By removing -the trauma you will make these things much easier See yourself as going from afflicted to -blessed See yourself as principled incorruptible and salt of the earth When you think pure of -heart think dominant but nondominating Think nonsubordinate but nonaggressive Think -assertive but lighthearted Having faith in your goodness is the key to making optimism and -relaxation possible Know that what youre doing comes from a good place with other peoples -best interests in mind As long as you know that you mean right by others you dont have to -worry about offending them with your composure Expect yourself to be pure of heart in -everything you do and conceive of your life from here on to be a heros journey -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -Chapter Bullet Points -e Treat everyone as if they are the least awkward person you have ever met -e There are so many ways to be endearing Theres no need to forfeit your composure or -health to do so -e Creating a pure of heart mindset will make many of your troubles disappear -When mammals are playful they are truly wonderful creatures -e You can directly reduce stress by stimulating the play and nurturance areas of your -brain To do this you must be playful with and nurture others -e The feel good neurochemicals like endorphins serotonin oxytocin and vasopressin -derive from kind behavior Nature endorses morality -e Remember that real virtue does not complement itself and is not even aware of itself as -a virtue -e Laughing exercises will give you a bold laugh and fortify your innards -e Every laugh should almost sound antagonistic as if you were laughing at someone -but only because it is assertive and unaffected by submissive tendencies -e Anight full of fake laughing and smiling will increase the tension you feel the next -morning And yet one minute of genuine unadulterated laughing can relieve all -that strain -e Selfstimulating happiness is key to perpetuating your upward developmental spiral -e Selfamusement is very healthy and a trait of dominant people -e Feel free to be silly -e Act like every day is your birthday and every night is Saturday night -When you are mistreated think of it as an opportunity for personal growth Consciously -deciding to underreact to negativity is regarded by many to be the most powerful way -to achieve spiritual growth -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Endnotes -Hermann H R Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals The great -game of life Academic Press -Snyder C R Lopez S J Oxford handbook of positive psychology nd ed -Oxford University Press -Taylor S E Armor D A Positive illusions and coping with adversity Journal of -Personality Carver C S Scheier M E Segerstrom S C Optimism -Clinical Psychology Review -Scheier M E Weintraub J K Carver C S Coping with stress Divergent -strategies of optimism and pessimists Journal of Personality and Social Psychology -Frederickson B L Levenson R Positive emotions speed recovery from the -cardiovascular sequelae of negative emotions Cognition Emotion -Wohr M Schwarting R K W Ultrasonic communication in rats Can playback of -kHz calls induce approach behavior PLoS ONE e -Simonet P Versteeg D Storie D July August Doglaughter Recorded -playback reduces stress related behavior in shelter dogs Paper presentation Proceedings of -the th International Conference on Environmental Enrichment -Panksepp J December The riddle of laughter neural and psychoevolutionary -underpinnings of joy Current Directions in Psychological Science -Provine R R Laughter A scientific exploration Viking -Folkman S Nathan P E The Oxford handbook of stress health and coping -Oxford University Press -Godfrey J R Toward optimal health The experts discuss therapeutic humor -Journal of Womens Health -Dunbar R M Group size vocal grooming and the origins of language -Psychonomic Bulletin Review -Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness -Dunbar R M Baron R Frangou A Eiluned P van Leeuwen E J C Stow J -Partridge G MacDonald I Barra V van Vugt M Social laughter is correlated with -an elevated pain threshold Proceedings of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences -Dunbar R M Group size vocal grooming and the origins of language -Wohr M Kehl M Borta A Schanzer A Schwarting R K Hoglinger G U -New insights into the relationship of neurogenesis and affect Tickling induces hippocampal cell -proliferation in rats emitting appetitive kHz ultrasonic vocalizations Neuroscience -Van Edwards V Captivate The science of succeeding with people -Penguin Random House -Rogers C A way of being Houghton Mifflin -Sanders T The likability factor Crown -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Chapter Conclusions -Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it Soren Kierkegaard -Spite and illnature are among the most expensive luxuries in life Dr Samuel Johnson -The Exercises and Activities -The results you will gain from this program come in many forms and interact synergistically -They dont merely complement one another in an additive way but in a multiplicative one -For example the benefits derived from paced breathing diaphragmatic jogging passive -exhalation and stretching the diaphragm supplement each other As you get better at one -you get better at the others Because these skills are all interrelated they promote and -reinforce each other This leads to recursive improvement in which the skills form structural -platforms elevating you into an upward spiral -hope you now feel that you have a tool kit of actionable exercises and access to deep -wells of strength that had previously laid untapped You may not be sold on all the exercises -here Choose the ones you like the most and practice those for now As you monitor your -progress you may realize you have largely rehabilitated certain body parts This may motivate -you to go back to other exercises that didnt seem as appealing at first In this book wrote -about what found helpful to pair with paced breathing What benefitted me is not necessarily -what will best benefit you so encourage you to experiment with your own forms of -diaphragmatic generalization If you come up with a new technique please share it on the web -with our online community -Do keep in mind that a few days of changed perspective might feel like enough to gain the -full benefits of Program Peace However it may not be sufficient to override your ingrained -routines permanently This system is all about rehearsal Sustained weekly practice is key -Be persistent and your efforts will pay off Some of these activities may feel onerous at first -but they will quickly become comfortable after you have completed them a few times Most of -the exercises in this book are at least partially routinized after the first five sessions This means -they can be done with minimal concentration from that point on ie while on the phone or in -front of the TV -It was incredibly heartening to know that these exercises were slowly making me a -stronger happier person knew that was making daily progress and that something of value -was germinating within me Anticipate positive results with pleasure and excitement When this -happens the exercises become intrinsically rewarding As you watch yourself change you will -realize that all these attributes you assumed were genetic and fixed at birth are trainable -By the end of this book the first table from Chapter should take on an entirely new -meaning Employ as many of the dominant displays from that table as you can in the -exercise below -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Concluding Exercise Diaphragmatic Phone Conversation -Perform paced breathing with a breath metronome while on the phone with a friend -Breathe nasally guided by a metronome when the other person is speaking When you are -talking take complete inhales without gasping and then speak over a complete exhalation -Try it in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye calmly as if you were looking at your -caller Next use a handsfree attachment for your phone and walk around your house back -yard or neighborhood while using as many of the elements of optimal body language -described in this book as you can -Stress and Overexertion -As this book has contended operating without composure can gravely deplete our health -When we live in distress we are borrowing health from our future It is the toll exacted ona -methamphetamine addict or a president during an eightyear term We are talking about a -constant state of overexertion in which the body takes a lot of abuse at the expense of your -charisma physique intelligence mental health and spiritual growth -Distress is an appropriate strategy for an animal with strong evidence that it may die ina -few seconds It is a terrible strategy for you and me We have discussed how your fight or flight -response is seldom directed toward actual fighting or taking flight Instead it is directed to -bracing strain paradoxical breathing hyperventilation apneic disturbances rapid heartbeat -pain egoism and submission To prove to your body that you are not at risk of premature -death you have to divert your focus away from the bad toward gratitude playfulness purity -and optimism -The retraction of the gill by the sea slugs discussed in Chapter shows that they dont -have faith in their world The slugs exhibiting this defensive reflex in response to being -uncontrollably prodded and shocked in the lab are on high alert Their defensive and escape -responses are exaggerated and their responses to positive events are blunted The slugs that -have not been subjected to this dont show the same defensiveness and are referred to by -scientists as naive -Just because you are not on high alert doesnt mean you are naive Be the sea slug that has -seen it all and yet still knows that the best way to live is never to brace its gills Dont treat -every threat as novel Generalize your desensitization to negativity toward every conceivable -peril Do it now Drop your facade let your gills hang keep drawing long deep inhalations -and learn to expect the best from the world -Your Transformation -Before Program Peace was uncomfortable with my own presence exuded tentativeness and -a lack of any conviction would wring my hands constantly My dreams were always desperate -situations Once a week would wake from sleep yelling in terror Between the ages of and -would find myself whispering the words Oh my god over and over every day That was -a nightmare was my mantra had unbearable tension welling up inside of me gushing out in -the form of tortured body language hated my home everything in my room everything on -Chapter Conclusions -my desk all things and all people because experienced them through the throes of -distressed breathing -When turned discovered that everything hurt a little bit It hurt to stand up it hurt to -run it hurt to sit for too long it hurt to turn my neck it hurt to use the restroom it hurt to -swallow and every social interaction hurt concluded that this was an irreversible effect of -aging But now am twice that age and none of those things hurt After two years of Program -Peace you should find that you feel much younger than when you started You will experience -a personal metamorphosis internally and externally You will have acquaintances ask what kind -of antianxiety or antidepressant drugs you have been prescribed Others will ask which -cosmetic procedures you have undergone -Now that breathe diaphragmatically and send very few subordination displays the core of -my personhood has changed used to take dangerous risks that bordered on having a death -wish never do that today am less impulsive less compulsive and less codependent The -imp of the perverse no longer haunts me and no longer play the part of a scapegoat jester -martyr or victim am no longer consumed with melancholy and selfpity am no longer a -defeatist or misanthrope These were recurring themes in my life since childhood Now they -are distant memories -All my favorite fictional works involve going on an epic adventure encountering bad guys -converting them into allies and then recruiting them to the team The antagonists in this story -are really good guys waiting to be reformed The thoracic breathing muscles the sneering -muscles the muscles involved in headaches and those that make us sick to our stomach are all -potential allies Once converted your chakralike modules will become trusted comrades -You will find yourself using them to transform other people into comrades as well -Breath Mastery -Breathing slowly and deeply with the diaphragm is difficult at first because your respiratory -musculature and the nerves that control it have developed their own default pace You must -overcome this default It is a bit like standing chestdeep in the ocean trying to keep your -balance amid turbulent unpredictable waves As you reprogram your breathing accept the -occasional unexpected breaker Embrace the uneven gushes the chaotic swells and the -startling surges knowing that with time you will control the tides Permanently This final -exercise will engage your diaphragm using antilaxity to help accomplish just that -Concluding Exercise Slow Inhale from a Deep Squat -Rest in a deep squat where your butt is nearly touching your ankles Lean your torso forward -and downward so that your chest is touching your knees You might place your knees in your -armpits This position will push your diaphragm up against the internal organs of your -abdomen making it much more difficult to inhale fully Take prolonged inhalations that -each last between and seconds Feel free to rest and catch your breath between these -inhalations You might use a stopwatch or your paced breathing app to ensure that these -breaths are long This can be made more challenging if done after a meal -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -As you are inhaling and your diaphragm descends it will be exposed to a much heavier load -than usual It may feel shaky or tremble Use the antilaxity protocol from Chapter to -engage the diaphragm firmly as it expands Doing this slowly and smoothly using the belly -breath technique from Chapter will build strength and stability in the diaphragm and -enhance your control of it -COQ -Illustration Inhaling slowly from a deep squat can challenge and strengthen the diaphragm -Whether squatting lying sitting or standing taking a deep diaphragmatic inhalation for -more than seconds is a long trek across a barren desert After the first five seconds -you realize that youre not going to make it to the other side unless you let go of excess -baggage The baggage consists of those burdensome bracing patterns you are incapable of -setting down until you are engrossed in respiration Try it now Take a second inhalation -Halfway through you will feel strain throughout your body begin to drop away When -breathing at long intervals you dont have the craze and furor to haul this luggage around with -you Every time you cross this desert by taking a prolonged inhalation you further program -your chakralike modules to let go of their unnecessary burdens -Allow me a final analogy You may be familiar with the Greek mythological figure of -Sisyphus a man condemned to rolling a boulder up a hill As soon as he gets the boulder to the -top it rolls back down and he must start overfor all eternity It is a sad story and is -considered a tragedy Now imagine that Sisyphus didnt let the boulder roll down the hill -Imagine that he unnecessarily lowered it down using his hands step by step at great effort -If this were the case then the poor guy would never have a chance to rest Right -One must imagine Sisyphus happy Albert Camus -Relating this back to the body merely being an animal is hard work We must labor -every day just to provide our bodies with what they require When stress causes our muscles to -remain tense even when they should be resting this work becomes Sisyphean The same goes -for breathing The inhale takes work Your exhale is your diaphragms only chance to relax so if -you keep it braced during those few seconds of outflow you are completely depriving it of rest -In Exercise you practiced allowing your diaphragm to go completely limp during the -exhalation thus giving it the brief respite it needs to stop contracting so that it can regenerate -Chapter Conclusions -properly Whenever you notice that your muscles are not passive during rest imagine letting go -of Sisyphus boulder and letting it roll down the hill on its own -aly -SBS -Ja -Illustration Concluding analogies -This book has laid out eight tenets of peaceful breathing think of them as an eightfold -path to optimal respiration Here they are -The Eight Tenets of Peaceful Breathing -Breathe deeply high volume Breathe more fully breathing most of the way in and out -in a way that pushes the belly forward during each inhalation -Breathe longer low frequency Breathe at longer intervals in which each inhalation and -exhalation lasts for more time -Breathe smoothly continuous flow Breathe at a steady slow constant rate -Breathe assertively confident Do not let social concerns or stressors conflict with the -other rules -Exhale passively Allow your breathing muscles to go limp during each exhalation -Breathe nasally Breathe through the nose with nostrils flared -Oceans Breath Relax the back of your throat and breathe as if you are fogging up -a glass -Breathe with purity of heart Knowing that you have only the best intentions and that -you exemplify the combination of nonsubmissive and nondominating will infuse your -breathing with peace -used to imagine how mindbogglingly complex it would be to use brain surgery to reduce -someones propensity for negative thinking For instance you cannot just cut out the amygdala -because this produces all kinds of unwanted side effects Instead it would involve complex -submicroscopic manipulations of billions of neurons and trillions of synapses Where would you -start Diaphragmatic breathing retraining does precisely this but requires no neuroscientific -knowledge no futuristic technology and no invasive techniques By placing you in a state of -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -calm from which you can reconceptualize your life paced breathing will make precise -peaceproducing alterations to your cerebral cortex amygdala hypothalamus brainstem -heart diaphragm gut adrenal glands and other organ systems all over the body The figure -below depicts the curative effects as a virtuous cycle to be contrasted with Figure -RESPIRATORY -Assertive Loose -Nasal Passive Exhale -Mobile Diaphragm -Happiness -PSYCHOLOGICAL -Assertive Calm Selfassured -Positive Thinking Worldview -Sociable Leadership Playfulness -Positive Human Interactions -Sharing Helping Mending -Contentedness Optimism -Confidence Positive Affect -BEHAVIORAL -Muscular Sustainable -Diaphragmatic Breathing Resting Microbreaking Optimal Length -Deep Long Smooth Relaxation Optimal Posture Loading Optimal Blood Flow -Dominant Displays -Muscle Regeneration -Limber Open Inviting -THE DIAPHRAGMATIC -MUSCULAR -Elongation of Trigger Points -Optimal Alignment -Muscle Growth -Even Use Hypertrophy -Physical Pleasure -BREATHING CYCLE -Emotional -A -Pleasure -PHYSIOLOGICAL -Parasympathetic Upregulation -Deaging Chakra Healing -Homeostasis Anabolism -Beneficial Developmental Plasticity -Endorphins Oxytocin Serotonin -Optimal Heart Rate High HRV -PFC and Hippocampus Growth -Figure Diaphragmatic breathing creates a virtuous cycle -A Genes Eye View -The scientific evidence suggests that we are here on Earth because a complex molecule got -stuck in a rut of selfreplication Our situation as survival machines for DNA can be given a -negative or positive valence Our pain and the pain we inflict on each other can make this -situation a curse It is too often a frenzied freeforall where as Tennyson said nature is red in -tooth and claw But if we are actively engaged in improving the quality of our life and other -sentient beings lives then we transform the condition from a curse to a blessing believe -making this transformation gives life meaning Your every action display and word may have -reverberating repercussions on reality that will continue to echo in the physical universe -forever Instead of contributing to pain through abusive communication contribute to peace -and love -The nerves that course trauma through our bodies are the reigns by which our selfish -genes control us From our genes perspective happiness and confidence are risky and might -get us killed They are only to be expressed in utopian environments Our cells operate on the -assumption that aggression and submission keep us on the straight and narrow that living -without them is problematic applicable only when our environment is sending us reliable cues -that it is unrealistically hospitable We must overcome the genetically hardwired negativity bias -and fear of relaxation To do this we can use diaphragmatic breathing to trick our organs and -Chapter Conclusions -cells into thinking that our world is an unparalleled paradise This will give you the elbow room -you need to coddle your inner pet encourage your inner child and admire your inner -caveperson If we can do this we all no matter our age or the extent of our trauma have the -developmental plasticity to become genuinely happy -Turn Off the Behavioral Inhibition System -Jeffrey Alan Gray proposed the biopsychological theory of personality in and it remains -a widely accepted model The theory hypothesized two systems a the behavioral inhibition -system which stops us from doing things out of fear and b the behavioral activation system -which causes us to do things out of positive motivation for reward He proposed that these two -systems are constantly interacting and that people vary in the extent to which these systems -influence their behavior -People who have an overactive behavioral inhibition system spend their life repressing -their impulses and restraining their desires They are sensitive to punishment and perceive it as -highly aversive A predisposition toward behavioral inhibition starts in infancy Toddlers who -are behaviorally inhibited have higher heart rates higher stress hormone levels tighter vocal -cords and highly reactive amygdalae would assume that they are also predisposed to -distressed breathing -The behavioral inhibition system has been proposed to be the causal basis of anxiety and -depression It is what keeps us from dancing laughing and improvising and pulls us to retreat -into our shells The behavioral activation system is the opposite It promotes approach -behavior cheerfulness spontaneity and sociability As you might have guessed the exercises -in this book aim to activate the behavioral activation system The following table offers -further detail -Behavioral Inhibition System Behavioral Activation System -Emotion Fear of pain Excitement for pleasure -Motivation Avoid punishments Approach rewards -Arousal Sympathetic Neutral Parasympathetic -Personality Introverted Reserved Extraverted Outgoing -Personality Disorder Anxious Depressed Impulsive Exploitative -Hierarchical Station Submissive Dominant -Affect Negative Positive -Outlook Cynical Hopeful -Table Comparing the Behavioral Inhibition and Activation Systems -You will find that the consequences of these two systems reach into every facet of your life -For instance as shot a basketball in my twenties would retract from the ball in a cringing -motion This was the behavioral inhibition system in action Today my hand follows through and -remains briefly in the air at full arm extension Disinhibiting your followthrough is integral to -your ability to score Be an exhibitionist and treat everything like a game you are playing to win -We need to be accepting of the fact that we will continue to suffer social failures We will -displease some and not be liked by others But if we let our fear of these things lead to -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -inhibition social defeat will be inevitable Never choose to withdraw when confronted by a -stressor Always approach When you find yourself upset dont pull away Push back playfully -You deserve to be loved and respected while being your true unfiltered self -See the roadmap for your life as a long series of green lights and ease off the breaks -At every fork in the road ask yourself How would an undamaged badass version of me deal -with this situation Start visualizing this person when you think about yourself When you -imagine doing something picture this person doing it In time you will become that person -Within a pack of mammals status roles are often initially determined by an animals -intrinsic energy level The boisterous youngsters become the pack leaders These are usually -animals that have very low activation of the behavioral inhibition system The animals that -expend more energy in play foraging and socializing rise to leadership positions How can you -get your energy levels up This book has detailed how how to remove knots how to reverse -frailty and how not to leak energy -Dominant people proactively pursue their interests without being hindered by -unproductive social fears They have faith in their ability to succeed and trust that others cant -stop them They are not embarrassed easily Neither do they secondguess themselves or worry -about what others will think Dont stifle the pleasure principle and hide your desires just to get -along with others Like a rambunctious wolf cub learn to be okay with the social conflict that -arises when you try to gratify your wants -Dont be a zoo animal released into a wildlife park that still crouches within the invisible -confines of its old cage Having put yourself on a short leash you are the only one who can take -it off To beat the behavioral inhibition system you must be spontaneous and do the first thing -that comes to mind more often Dont be afraid to let your inner animal free Be resolute in -your opinions Charm people with pizzazz Make bold and audacious announcements about -positive things Show some backbone sing with your heart and live with guts and gusto -Chapter Conclusions -Ilustration Analogies used in this text -Being Pure of Heart Will Free You from Retaliation Apprehension -Let me leave you with a description of one final concept from psychology retaliation -apprehension This is when we feel worried that someone will take what we are saying or doing -in the wrong way and get offended Retaliation apprehension shows in your face breathing -and body language It is difficult to describe verbally but people recognize it immediately when -they see it -My brother has extraordinarily little retaliation apprehension This is why he can make a -personal joke about someone and they never get mad Often it seems that he can say -whatever he wants to anyone at any time and get away with it If were to say the same thing -in the same tone people would be miffed My brother can do this because he shows zero -concern about the other person retaliating This allows him to poke fun at people and things in -a playful way without offending -Retaliation apprehension is not just an admission of remorse for known wrongdoing It is a -state of mind we have even when we have done nothing wrong A tendency toward retaliation -apprehension can start very early in life Many adults have anxious attachment issues that -stem from their early relationship with their parents The child with anxious attachment is -preoccupied with what pleases and displeases their caretaker They see their relationship -with their mother and father as fragile and they feel at risk for rejection and abandonment -This leads to fear of and obsession with the emotions of others -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Refrain from scanning others for a hint of displeasure with you It is submissive The best -way to do this is to not think about it Drop any worries about defending yourself Expecting the -other person to like you and not being offended should be presumptive and implicit in your -demeanor Regularly dropping your defenses in this way should lower your cortisol blood -pressure and heart rate while raising your feelgood neurotransmitters and HRV It should also -make it easier to breathe with the diaphragm -Acting with zero retaliation apprehension is one of the most dominant things you can do -Still it must be authentic To do it properly you must have good intentions This is where being -pure of heart discussed in the last chapter comes in When you feel completely secure in the -fact that your actions are well intentioned and that you are a force for good fear of retaliation -wont even cross your mind It will make social harmony a default that you dont have to work -or strive for When using the pure of heart mindset your retaliation apprehension can be nil -even when your behavioral activation system is running at full force -Conclusion How to Play the Dominance Game -Humans have a strong instinctual predilection for submissive behavior When submissive body -language goes on for too long it makes us vulnerable to various forms of muscular tension -which in turn make us vulnerable to disease This biological propensity should be studied -through both basic and applied research and fully addressed by medical science There should -also be explicit social contracts that limit the extent of submissiveness we require from one -another in both personal and professional sectors The more awareness you and can create -the sooner this will happen -Hopefully this book has made it clear that the abysmal repercussions of submission and -aggression hamper human potential If we can minimize our tendencies toward destructive -status striving and the social tensions that eat us up inside we can increase our productiveness -If we can help others do this we can increase humankinds productivity and problemsolving -potential -If someone has better posture than we do we should still stand tall If someone has a more -powerful voice we should continue to speak powerfully If someone has a bigger smile we -should keep smiling wholeheartedly Comparing ourselves to others like arming ourselves -against others is for animals in submissive mode Put your sword anger and shield -rejection sensitivity down Let your burdensome armor retaliation apprehension drop to the -floor Recognize that the combination of being nonaggressive and nonsubmissive has made -you not only invulnerable but incomparable -If you are going to play the dominance game play it with a competitive spirit play it fairly -play it without malice and without exposing yourself to trauma Play it breathing -diaphragmatically all the while Dont flaunt your position or be embarrassed by it Dont puff -up when things go your way and dont shrivel up when they dont Think of yourself as -dominant without having to dominate Keep in mind that no one really wins in the end so there -is no reason to keep score Instead see competition as iron sharpening iron See it as -productive play that makes every participant stronger Turn contests into friendly cooperative -games in which everyone is a teammate whether they know it or not This will not only earn -you friends but it will also make you imperturbable indomitable and selfpossessed -Chapter Conclusions -Chapter Endnotes -Braem S Duthoo W Notebaert W Punishment sensitivity predicts the impact -of punishment on cognitive control PLoS ONE e -Moehler E Kagan J OelkersAx R Brunner R Poustka L Haffner J Resch F -Infant predictors of behavioral inhibition British Journal of Development Psychology -Gray J A The psychophysiological basis of introversionextraversion -Behavioral Research and Therapy -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -Program Peace Paced Breathing App for iPhone and Android -Download the free Program Peace app as a companion to this book Using the app will train you -to breathe deeper and longer It also provides an easytouse interface without bloat clutter -ads signins inapp purchases or full version upgrades -Place the app next to a book computer monitor tablet or TV so that you can pace your -breathing while you attend to other things Listen to music or audiobooks while using the app -Place it in your pocket and select vibrate if you want to use it in silence handsfree Select how -long you want your inhales and exhales to be Peruse the preset breathing rates to learn about -various breathing methods Practice the Program Peace exercises to build confidence a positive -mindset and rehabilitate systems throughout your body -Scientific studies have shown that paced breathing lowers blood pressure heart rate muscle -tension and calms the mind Research has also shown that breathing at longer intervals can -improve mood focus and flexibility increase athletic performance reduce recovery time -mitigate fatigue and help people get to sleep at night This app is designed to help you take full -advantage of those benefits -For more information you can visit www programpeacecom -ler -raosnayy SET BREATHING RATE -pee Breaths Per Minute -eA Inhale sec -ioe -Inhale Hold sec -Exhale sec -a ap -Exhale Hold sec -ap -Start Session Ji -Cycles min sec -oe ap -Preset Rates -Easy Pace i -Beginner Pace i -Intermediate Pace -Before Sleep i -Box Breathing Fi -BINIBION -Cardiac Coherence -Rate -rs -aay EXERCISES -The following are some of Program Peaces most -beneficial exercises Click on a button below to -read about and start an exercise Your progress -will be recorded -Name Count Length -Using the -Metronome -mE Prolonged -Vocalization -Practicing a -Smooth Inhalation -Ov -Oi -Eyes with -No Facade -Fi -L ip -While Talking -Unbracing the -Diaphragm While -Exhaling -Exercises -FEATURES -Customizable breathing bar -Choose your breathing intervals -Over a dozen preset rates -Optional breath holds -Current and longest streaks -Track your history and progress -Multiple sound effects -Rank system -Multiple color themes -Custom reminders -Recommended exercises -Vibrate function -Multiple audible cues -Dark mode -Color palette options -Original informative content -Chapter Conclusions -Program Peace Fitness Manual Journal -Download this free journal to keep track of your Program Peace exercise sessions and progress -It also includes a day program that teaches you the fundamentals of exercise nutrition and -fitness according to current scientific research Whether your goal is weight loss muscle gain -flexibility cardiovascular health or just logging your exercises this fitness planner can help -Track numerous fitness metrics and establish monthly goals Make records about your exercise -diet sleep stretching meditation strength training goals daily steps heart rate variability and -other important data By completing the worksheets and following the recommendations in -just days you can build new longlasting habits Buy the paperback on Amazon or download -the free PDF at wwwprogrampeacecom -oe -FITNESS MANU -ARED E -Daily Fitness Tracker -jewnor yenuey SsouDy DVad WYYDOUd -yd ySu GUE -Diet and Nutrition -Use the table below to get a general sense of where your calories should -be coming from and how to balance your meals The information is -adapted from highly reliable sources including the US Nutrition Board -and is promoted on the basis of scientific studies Check the website for -US food recommendations at wwwmyplategov and the website of the -American Dietetic Association at wwweatrightorg For individualized -dietary advice see a registered dietician -USDA ChooseMyPlateorg Recommended Daily Food Intake For a Calorie Diet -Daily Average -Food Group Cos sence Significance -Grains Energy and fiber -Whole Grains -Refined Grains oz -Nageaine eee Potassium magnsiym ler vitamins -Dark Green Vegetables S cups -Teup -teup -cups -Other Vegetables cups -pre ities Potassium magnesium fiber -vitamins and minerals -Dairy Low or NonFat cups Calcium and protein -Protein Foods Meat ee Protein and magnesium zinc -and Eggs vitamin B -Protein and magnesium zinc vitamin -Seafood por wook Sposa -ils grams Essential oe acids -IGRAM -FEATURES -that last -Customizable undated worksheets to log your -favorite exercises sets and reps -Keep notes about duration intensity and -impressions to keep track of your progress -Space to record nutritional intake body weight -selfmassage blood pressure flexibility balance -cardio heart rate skin fold measures body -circumference BMI TDEE RMR and workout goals -Record hours of nightly sleep breathing exercises -flights climbed hours standing and much more -Read detailed fitness and diet recommendations to -help you understand your body and achieve results -Understanding Your Waist and Hip -Circumference -The relative location of fat deposits on the body influences disease risk -The appleshaped fat distribution fat in the abdominal area carries greater -health risks than the pearshaped kind fat on the hips and thighs This is -because abdominal body fat is more easily released into the bloodstream -For this reason a lower waisttohip ratio is preferable Comparing your -waisttohip ratio can provide a helpful measure of health monitoring -information This ratio is calculated by dividing the waist circumference that -you found in the last section by hip circumference You want this fraction to -be small and it is best if it is less than -Waist circumference Hip circumference WaisttoHip Ratio -WaisttoHip Ratio Norms -Gender Excellent Good Average At Risk -Male -Female -Criteria for Waist Circumference -Waist Circumferenc -Risk Category Females Males -Very Low Zin in -Low -High -Very High a -Health Risks Associated with Excessive Body Fat and Waist Circumference -impaired cardiac function due to increased workload on the heart -hypertension stroke heart disease high blood pressure diabetes -in thrombosis increased insulin resistance renal disease sleep -apnea pulmonary disease problems receiving anesthesia during surgery -osteoarthritis degenerative joint disease gout endometrial breast prostate -colon and other cancers abnormal plasma lipid and cholesterol levels -gallbladder disease psychological stress social stigma and discrimination -Calculate Your Daily Protein Needs -How much protein should you be eating daily The average person -needs between and grams of protein per pound of body weight -per day A sedentary individual should eat between and grams -of protein per day An athlete should intake between and -grams of protein every day To find your optimal intake use the table -below to choose a protein factor to multiply by your body weight in -the equation below -Grams of Protein Needed Per -Pound of Body Weight -Protein Factor -grams -iso grams -Moderate Exercise grams -grams -grams -Calculate your daily protein needs -Body weight Ibs Protein factor Grams per day -Increasing your daily protein intake has benefits Protein takes more -energy to burn than fats and sugars meaning that increasing the -protein in your diet can help boost your metabolism Also protein is the -macronutrient that is the most difficult to convert into fat Highprotein -diets have been shown to be more filling than other types of diets -which can reduce your urge to eat Consider eating extra protein -before and directly after exercise to help in the synthesis and repair -of muscle proteins -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body -AntiRigidity How to Release Muscle from Partial Contraction -Antirigidity is a rehabilitative method for releasing muscles from excessive tension and partial -contraction Because it was used throughout the book it is outlined here -Optional -Preparation -AntiRigidity -Afterwards -e Stretching -e Cardio -Weightlifting -e Heat -e Massage -Increase blood flow using -Assume stiff rarely used -positions and postures -Firmly contract the muscles -involved until they fatigue -Explore configurations that -crack -Use diaphragmatic breathing -Search for and contract into -aching or soreness until it -fades -Help the muscles rest using -e Repeated contraction -e Full relaxation -e Heat or cold -e Massage -e Vibration -Muscle in Partial -Contraction -Muscle in Full -Contraction -Muscle at Resting -Length -Before AntiRigidity -During AntiRigidity -After AntiRigidity -Chapter Conclusions -Program Peace Tools and Ways of Being -Personal -Care -Paced Breathing Prioritize Composure Exercise Hydrate Sleep Eight Hours -Walk Take Time for Yourself Live in the Present Awareness of Startling -Flinching Trembling Fasting Interoception Using a Stethoscope Optimism -Social -Optimal Body Language Nonsubmissive Nondominating Nondefensive -Grooming Caressing Massaging Others No Unnecessary Competition -Camaraderie Steady Eye Contact Annunciating Clearly Playfulness Laughing -Smiling Connectedness Bonding Nurturance Healthy Sex Free and Open -Body Language Taking Up Space Humble Indomitable Forgiving -Affectionate Breaking Up Fights Sharing Helping Mending Loving -Breathing -Paced Breathing Long Deep Smooth Assertive Breaths Passive Exhale -Belly Breathing Rehab the Diaphragmatic Speedbump Dormancy Apneic -Disturbances Nasal Breathing Taping the Mouth Diaphragmatic Vocalization -Reading Out Loud Throat Limp Voice Deep and Relaxed PantHoot Oceans -Breath Diaphragm Stretch Breath Holding Exercises -Muscles -Antirigidity Antilaxity Microbreaks Postural Awareness Massage -Compression Percussion Vibration Delocalized Pressure Bidirectional -Control Progressive Relaxation Body Scan Stretching Yoga Firm -Contractions Full Range of Motion Decompression Stretchlying -Glidewalking Counterposes Postural Variety -Mindset -Egalitarian Worldview Nonjudgmental Nonresistant Nonattached -Empathy and Compassion Desensitization Control Rising to Meet Adversity -Eustress the Challenge Response Coolness Pureness of Heart Watching -the Thinker Mindfulness Gratitude Fearlessness Funloving Composed -Kindness Emotional Maturity Dominance Imperturbable Selfpossessed -Avoid -Retaliation Apprehension Rejection Sensitivity Timidity Domineering -Gasping Breath Holding Lack of Rest Lack of Sleep Overeating Overly Sweet -Salty Fatty Foods Lying Gossiping Vanity Taking Offense Addictive -Behaviors Violent Media Horror Unnecessarily Loud Music Drugs Alcohol -Inhibition Withdrawal Avoidance -Postural -Neck Retracted Shoulders Back and Down Abs Contracted Chest Spread -Glutes Contracted Feet Parallel Urine Retention and Expulsion Eyes Wide -Eyes Fixated Eyes Up Head Pointing Up Ability to Glare and Frown Eyes -Unblinking Relaxed Eyebrows Expressionless Mewing Sneer Awareness -Smiling -PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body