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50db7152e1d1
7BDF02EBF9F9
Finally, Venus is the planet that is most like Earth and use to have to ability to support life.
Claim
Effective
0edce5725cf4
7BDF02EBF9F9
In paragraph four the passage states,"Long ago, Venus was probably covered largely with oceans and could have supported various forms of life, just like Earth." This piece of text from paragraph four shows that Venus is the planet most like Earth and had the ability to support life because it use to be covered in oceans.
Evidence
Adequate
89e7b46c66f3
7BDF02EBF9F9
In summary, we should continue studying the planet Venus despite the dangers because if anything were to happen to our planet, Earth, Venus would be the closest planet we could go to, we could learn more about Venus and the planet's harsh conditions, and because Venus is most like Earth and had the ability to support life. Furthering our research on Venus can only benefit us, so lets stop worrying about the dangers and get out and explore our planetary neighbor.
Concluding Statement
Effective
832050cf77cd
7BE3B580C5DB
The author of "The Challenge of Exploring Venus" did a fair job at arguing their claim, that Venus is a worthy pursuit despite the dangers it presents.
Position
Effective
0f82b473d363
7BE3B580C5DB
The author used their thesis
Claim
Adequate
e0b0f1ba3d8e
7BE3B580C5DB
counter-arguements
Claim
Adequate
1ba01d352531
7BE3B580C5DB
and rebutals to get across their point that Venus is a worthwhile investment to study. Some areas they exceeded and others they did not hit right on the ball.
Claim
Adequate
c00070866a0a
7BE3B580C5DB
The author throughout the essay did not convey a very well stated thesis. Typically, a writer of an arguementative essay would feature their thesis openly, so that the reader is able to see what side the author is pushing forward. However, this author did not do this.
Claim
Effective
4d9484581f16
7BE3B580C5DB
The first paragraph introduces the topic of Venus with an interesting hook, but does not give the reader their side. The reader needs a thesis, without one the reader is not going to be able to have their opinion on a topic swayed. The author's current attempt at a thesis statement , "While Venus is simple to see from the distant but safe vantage point of Earth, it has proved very challenging place to examine more closely," does not state what side they are on clearly. Their best declaration of the side they are on is in their very last paragraph. The author wrote, "Our travels on Earth and beyond should not be limited by dangers and doubts but should be expanded to meet the very edges of imagination and innovation." This is a very strongly worded thesis, but would have been much better if placed in the starting paragraph. Their side on the topic was acknowledged, but not as well as it could have been if they had set up their thesis correctly.
Evidence
Effective
01edcdfad9c0
7BE3B580C5DB
Beyond the thesis, the author used many counter-arguements in their writing. This is one of their strong suits, acknowledging both sides of an arguement is one of the best ways to convey your opinion affectively, while still being able to keep opposing side of the arguement interested and have their minds open to change
Claim
Effective
b7651a7353f8
7BE3B580C5DB
The author is for the exploration of Venus, but consistently chooses to bring up the problems that doing so faces. The author writes about the difficulties about exploring Venus, because of the planet's extreme environment. They opposed their own side in paragraph three by saying, "These conditions are far more extreme than anything humans encounter on Earth; such an environment would crush even a submarine accustomed to diving to the deepest parts of our oceans and would liquefy many metals." This is an affective strategy, because people who may oppose exploration to Venus may say something similar to this. The author is arguing their own point to establish reliability and trust amongst with people who favor not exploring Venus. The author showing that they see the problems with exploring Venus shows that they are open minded and open to their mind being changed, and this will in turn have the reader do the same.
Evidence
Effective
590a099b51c0
7BE3B580C5DB
Furthermore, the author was able to affectively state rebutals and reinforce their own opinion with facts
Claim
Adequate
523e294222dd
7BE3B580C5DB
From the example stated earlier, regaurding the extreme conditions in Venus, the author was able to provide a logical solution to the weather without using any opinions. The author wrote,"NASA's possible solution to the hostile conditions on the surface of Venus would allow sceintists to float above the fray." The author then goes onto describe NASA's plan in full depth, and going into fine detail about the floating contraption that would suspend the astronauts safely above the harsh atmosphere of Venus. They then state, "Not easy conditions, but survivable for humans." The author is displaying a solution for the conditions, and even the minor flaws it has. The author going into detail about the solution for the extreme conditions in Venus and even conceding a bit when saying, "Not easy conditions but survivable for humans," helps argue their point. They affectively refuted the counter-arguements by using factual evidence in their rebutal, and deemed themselves trustworthy by the opposing side by even conceding slightly on a few issues.
Evidence
Effective
35678e424984
7BE3B580C5DB
The author of "The Callenge of Exploring Venus" did a fair job when arguing that Venus is a worthy pursuit despite the dangers it presents. While the author did accurately present the dangers and solutions for the dangerous parts of exploring Venus, they failed to create a strong thesis. The author exceeded when giving factual information about the topic to help the reading get on their side of the arguement; do to them struggling to get across their position on if Venus exploration is worthwhile, some of the provided information they gave was not used to it's full potential when changing the reader's opinion.
Concluding Statement
Effective
2d8b62891e83
7C4E2E967B41
People shouldn't be using cell phones while driving, because driving is really important and there are multiple things that can happen while driving that are bad.
Position
Adequate
3468f26f84f7
7C4E2E967B41
In the .U.S. every year is 6 million. More than 90 people die in car accidents everyday. All they will have to do is just stay off the phone and save their life's. I know everyone loves their phone because I love mines too.
Evidence
Adequate
51bbb8543309
7C4E2E967B41
I understand sometimes it could be an emergency
Counterclaim
Adequate
8fe061e9a630
7C4E2E967B41
but still at the same time, that's why you just turn your emergency lights on.
Rebuttal
Adequate
4f4190ca2740
7C4E2E967B41
When you learn how to drive, the people tell you that at all times keep your eyes on the road at all times. If you don't pay attention to the road you can cause yourself and someone else to die. It's an increased risk of crashing. While driving your usage might be banned so you won't be able to use your phone while driving. Please drivers keep your eyes on the road and off the phones. Like for example you can last 30 minutes without being on the phone.
Evidence
Adequate
5b31aef0a402
7C4E2E967B41
Cell phone use while driving has become a leading cause of vehicle crashes over the last two decades. Drivers are distracted, decreasing the driver's awareness on the road, leading to more car crashes. It's extremely dangerous in horrified accidents.
Claim
Adequate
ffe81817a14d
7C4E2E967B41
Everyone wants to be free and safe and not have to go through court and the hospital.
Evidence
Adequate
3c5d847eae3e
7C4E2E967B41
Teens are only supposed to be on the devices a certain amount of time and this goes for teens and adult that drive.
Evidence
Ineffective
ac064f078a07
7C4E2E967B41
Also you can get in a car accident by having a lot of people in the car and loud music those are called distractions and then on top of that, that's like the quicks way to get a ticket.
Claim
Ineffective
bb6b2158a04c
7C4E2E967B41
There are so many ways to lose your life in just a little amount of time. You can be in the car and your and you can be horse playing and you looking back them a car can run into your car then all of you and your friends are dead. This is like something everyone who got their licenses should know, because they had to pass the test to get their licenses.
Evidence
Adequate
eca3c5909bb3
7C4E2E967B41
To conclude, Just to know, everyone be safe because nobody needs to try to end their life too soon and easily. Keep your phones off and pay attention to the road at all times . Ignore all distractions most difficulty and everything will be okay and great. Driving is very serious at any times. People who can't really see don't need to be driving at night that's not safe either .
Concluding Statement
Adequate
bede2deac529
7C8B867A0A1A
Cars, they help us get from point A to B in a shorter amount of time, but at what cost.
Lead
Ineffective
89219583de77
7C8B867A0A1A
Cars are a large source of stress
Claim
Adequate
338538fc24f2
7C8B867A0A1A
produce large ammounts of pollution,
Claim
Adequate
d5782c12f1de
7C8B867A0A1A
and seem, even now, to be going out of style.
Claim
Adequate
1f2c57917375
7C8B867A0A1A
Cars are a luxury, not a necessity, and now they might not even be as usefull.
Position
Adequate
b837c312d57e
7C8B867A0A1A
More and more people are putting down the car keys and choosing instead to take a bike or bus. Cars are just too stressful to be a necesity.
Evidence
Adequate
c24dc76ffcb3
7C8B867A0A1A
In Vauban, Germany, many people are giving up engines. According to the New York Times, "70 percent of Vauban's families do not own cars," showing that life can go on efficiently even without a car.
Evidence
Adequate
40e5301d3d7d
7C8B867A0A1A
Passenger cars are responsible for 12 percent of greenhouse gas emissions in Europe, and up to 50 percent is some car-intensive areas in the united states, acording to the New York Times . Paris actually enforced a partial driving ban to clear the air of the global city after days of near-record pollution. The ban was enforced with a $31 fine. Even with 4,000 drivers fined, congestion was down 60 percent and the smog cleared enough that the ban could be lifted the next day. Using more enviornmentally inclined sources of transportation will deffinetly help leave a cleaner planet for future generations, and the generations already here. Cars are conveinient for short term gratification, but the long term effects might devastate the enviornment.
Evidence
Adequate
8f51ce1f4690
7C8B867A0A1A
A study last year found that driving by young people decreased 23 percent between 2001 and 2009 in the united states. Bogota, Colombia even becan a "car-free day" in wich all cars, besides busses and taxis, are banned in this capital city of 7 million for an entire day. Violaters of this ban are fined $25. "It's a good opportunity to take away stress and lower air pollution," said businessman Carlos Plaza. This event is even starting to spread. For the first time two other Colombian cities have joined the event. Using cars is becoming less and less common, and it's a trend the enviornment can enjoy.
Evidence
Adequate
4c54e56b8b57
7C8B867A0A1A
In conclusion, cars are a hiderance. Cars are stressful and cumbersome objects, getting rid of them would help reduce stress in the population. Cars are high contributers to pollution, creating smog and causing problems. Also, cars are a comodity that is being used less and less. People are putting down the car keys and picking up a bike. So why not join the trend?
Concluding Statement
Effective
6222b61d06aa
7C9AA3346458
I belive my claim for or against the value of using this technology to read students emotional expressions are invading our private space
Claim
Adequate
92fab68e5437
7C9AA3346458
What i'm trying to say is what if they computer says the wrong things or if we feel something that could be embarrasing or offended it'll cause us to either become more emotional or angry/offended.
Evidence
Adequate
0f316b20a018
7C9AA3346458
I believe you will also be taking jobs of those who have went to college to major in this type of senarios
Claim
Adequate
42fc8bfb78e4
7C9AA3346458
If you are taking all of this for people to have it on a computer software then you are no better than hispanics or immagrants taking people jobs because it'll lessen the chance of people even knowing or wanting to become in their life.
Evidence
Ineffective
79dd4fbdde3a
7C9AA3346458
we need to advance technology to better help people
Claim
Adequate
91b02892a470
7C9AA3346458
people still have their rights and beliefs and you would be crossing the line in my opinion if you were to believe this idea.
Counterclaim
Adequate
fc519aa27370
7C9AA3346458
I say let the professionals handle it who are in some ways the same way cause the computers would be screening us humans when there are other professional humans to relate or more capable of helping someone than a software and if the system goes wrong then what will you guys do then? What i'm trying to say is just let people who can relate and have diplomas for this kind of stuff let them do their jobs
Evidence
Adequate
c9bfeed4aa50
7C9AA3346458
stop replacing humans with machines
Position
Adequate
af7b5cec1eb2
7CE58A7E90FD
These photo's that were taken by NASA are rock formations.
Position
Adequate
cefbb51292d1
7CE58A7E90FD
These photos were taken in 1976, 1998, and in 2001. People thought that the formations were from other living things that are on Mars. Nasa took several pictures of these rock formations because they were shaped like humans. The rock formations starred in a Hollywood film, appeared in books, magazines, radio talk shows and even ended up in haunted grocery store checkot lines for 25 years.
Evidence
Ineffective
fcfb6a54cb88
7CE58A7E90FD
Michael Malin and his Mars Orbiter Camera team snapped a picture ten times sharper than the original Viking photos
Claim
Adequate
3f7abbd75941
7CE58A7E90FD
Thousands of anxious web surfers were waiting when the image first appeared on a JPL web site, revealing a natural landform. There was no alien monument after all.
Evidence
Adequate
ef22624374fb
7CE58A7E90FD
What the picture actually shows is the Martian equivalent of a butte or mesa landforms common around the American West.
Claim
Adequate
c65e147b90fb
7CE58A7E90FD
It reminds me most of Middle Butte in the Snake River Plain of Idaho. That’s a lava dome that takes the form of an isolated mesa about the same height as the Face on Mars. After taking several more photographs of these landforms people started to realize that they were natural landforms and not made by other living things.
Evidence
Adequate
e825d5e2f6ad
7CE58A7E90FD
NASA put the photots on JPL web sites so that people could see these pictures up close. Few cientisct thought that these artifacts were made by aliens
Claim
Adequate
3ee5f46d5e45
7CE58A7E90FD
When NASA first took a picture of these faces they said that the face was staring back at the camera. They looked like Egyptian Pharaoh's.
Evidence
Adequate
36ad838cebc9
7CE58A7E90FD
There was no alien monument after all. The pictures actually show a butte or a mesa landforms comman aroiund the American West. These are natural landforms becuase scientitst say that there is no life on Mars. NASA took pictures in a digital image 3 times bigger than the pixel size.
Concluding Statement
Adequate
4b18af8ac060
7CE58A7E90FD
If there were objects in the pictures like an airplane on the ground or an Egyptain style pyramid or even a small shak you could see what they were.
Evidence
Adequate
9a6c29aa6d62
7CF45AD6A333
Traveling to Venus is a dangous task. Even with the right equipment and gear the atmosher of Venus still might not be safe.
Claim
Adequate
63f8bac2bbcf
7CF45AD6A333
Scientists have been looking into going to Venus. It has been proven that it is not safe to be on it or near the surface of the plant. A group of scientist from NASA are looking into inhabiting Venus. They are sending ships that nobody is on to collect data, but unfortulnlly that ships only lasted a few hours on the planet. With scientists wanting to send people to Venus to collect data, is a little obsvered in the matter. The atmospher is not safe even if they are not on the suface of the planet. This might take years to compelte, but it will take to much of our time to explore and inhabit planets that we can handle.
Evidence
Adequate
28aec7502447
7CF45AD6A333
If there are no more of the planets then we could go to Venus, but we should explore others first to see if they are more suitable for people to live on.
Position
Ineffective
4aaf45400b7b
7CF49F831E85
The Facial Action Coding System enables computer to identify human emotions in the article " Making Mona Lisa Smile" it is shown that this high tech software can recognize how you are feeling for example if you smile a scanner will send the data to the computer and the main thing that the computer has to know is the mucles you are using because you could actually be mad,sad,disgust,fear,and surprise all at once so this high tech computer sees if you are using zygomatic major then you are smiling but if the person is frowning then that means that they are sad.
Lead
Adequate
50b56dbf5607
7CF49F831E85
The Mona Lisa one of the most known peice of art from the Renaissance area made by Leonardo Da Vinci's is said to be the only painting at that time that seems to be a woman smiing but that is false. The Mona Lisa was actually showing more then just a smile she was showing three more different emotion besides happyness. The reason that is because when they took a picture of her and put her face in 3D humans face it showed that she was disgusted,fearful,and angry
Evidence
Adequate
b145f5ab500e
7CF49F831E85
So this computer can be also useful to see what people from the past felt during those time to see if they had any emotions or did they not.
Position
Ineffective
ec2884c936c1
7CF49F831E85
In my conclusion emotion can be easy to find threw high tech software but we as human can see the person emotions to but the only differents is that we see the main picture and not the littlest one's.
Concluding Statement
Ineffective
d898d8606e26
7D08A1D7086A
Drivers should not be able to have the use of a cellphone while conducting a vehicle. People die every day in car accidents because they use cell phones while driving. Each year over 330,000 accidents happen due to being distracted over a phone. Studies show that a cell phone puts drivers at a four time greater risk
Lead
Adequate
1a3dd75e8a8e
7D08A1D7086A
Although many people support using cell phones while driving, there are evidences and studies showing that the use of a cell phone while conducting a vehicle is dangerous and people should avoid using them while driving.
Position
Effective
1840d2619508
7D08A1D7086A
When driving, sometimes it is difficult to focus on the road, which makes it easy to forget that everyone else shares the roads as well
Claim
Effective
355412c3143c
7D08A1D7086A
Many cannot focus fully on the road and the other vehicles, if one keeps talking on phone consistently while driving. This is what leads to fatal accidents. People may think they can multitask while conducting a vehicle and using their cellular devices but in reality that is not the case. Studies show that no matter how concentrated you may think you are, you cause an accident. Whether it's you hitting something small, making others get into an accident, or yourself hitting another car.
Evidence
Effective
ca310993a5d4
7D08A1D7086A
Hands-free phones are just as disturbing as holding a phone.
Claim
Adequate
6ae2e6009e2c
7D08A1D7086A
They both serve the same purpose when it comes to distracting the driver from the road. Although hands-free devices do not increase safety, but causes the same amount of distraction as if one were holding a phone. They both serve the same purpose when it comes to distracting the driver from paying attention to the road. Studies show that the reaction time significantly reduces when paying attention to a phone rather than the road for an aged person. Now imagine how much more this affects an elderly person.
Evidence
Effective
a25782679e4f
7D08A1D7086A
Many drivers keep their cell phones in their vehicles. However, when it rings, they are not going to ignore it because of how tempted they will be to reach for it. Therefore, they lose all concentration while driving, and all the focus is on the phone
Claim
Effective
0d137d3c4e10
7D08A1D7086A
Many States have rightfully stopped local governments from prohibiting cell phone use while conducting a vehicle due to many fatal accidents. Many people continue to do it and not follow the law. In addition, for those people are who to blame for when someone innocent loses their life because of someone else being distracted over their phone.
Evidence
Adequate
ba9b4c5f1724
7D08A1D7086A
Not only should cellular devices be prohibited completely but, the law as well should be changed to not having a device at all while conducting a vehicle. This will prevent many accidents as well as saving many lives. Many people already do not follow the law and maybe never will. Only way they will actually respect the law is if an accidents happens to them or they get caught not obeying the law. Therefore, people should be restricted from using cellular devices while conducting a vehicle. No one wants to go through a terrible accident nor be the reason for a fatality.
Concluding Statement
Effective
8782e016ccd8
7D378AEFD0C3
Imagine you're on a cattle boat about to dock. You are helping by giving the animals away to poor people. Well Luke Bomberger did just that. Luke Bomberger crossed the Atlantic Ocean 16 time and the Pacific Ocean twice to go help peole that were stuggling.
Lead
Adequate
e38292d7332f
7D378AEFD0C3
You should become a Seagoing Cowboy
Position
Adequate
530e03ed7167
7D378AEFD0C3
you would help people in need
Claim
Adequate
83b5a1663528
7D378AEFD0C3
it's a once in a lifetime expirience
Claim
Adequate
b6c18f5d9821
7D378AEFD0C3
it is fun.
Claim
Adequate
77ca94c11e47
7D378AEFD0C3
being a Seagoing Cowboy is fun.
Claim
Adequate
a1f57607ad77
7D378AEFD0C3
Other might think it isn't fun at all
Counterclaim
Adequate
b99184ecd00a
7D378AEFD0C3
However, in the text it states that the cowboys play basketball and volleyball. The text aslo states that they would have table tennis tournaments, boxing, fencing, reading, and they would play games. These details prove that maybe you'll have fun being a Seagoing Cowboy.
Rebuttal
Adequate
2f18a6ed298e
7D378AEFD0C3
I believe that it is an once in a life time expirence
Claim
Adequate
181648553229
7D378AEFD0C3
Others might look the other way and think the opposite.
Counterclaim
Ineffective
a5c850ea4365
7D378AEFD0C3
However, Luke said that it was a once in a lifetime expirience
Rebuttal
Ineffective
74108b70ffd6
7D378AEFD0C3
Also, in the text it said that Luke got to see the Panama Canal. These details prove that maybe you'll get to see a lot more if you become a Seagoing Cowboy.
Evidence
Ineffective
b6aeff504088
7D378AEFD0C3
I belive that becoming a Seagoing Cowboy helps people.
Claim
Adequate
cf3d9f9b597c
7D378AEFD0C3
Some people think that you could get hurt yourself then who whould help you?
Counterclaim
Ineffective
9be48dc4f9f7
7D378AEFD0C3
However, in the text it states that it helped people who lived in Eurpoe and China. Also, in the text it states that it made people more aware of other people in other countries. These details prove that you could help a lot of people in need.
Rebuttal
Adequate
65a371c86858
7D378AEFD0C3
, you should become a Seagoing Cowboy because you would help people in need, it is a once in a lifetime expirience, and it is fun. Luke Bomberger crossed the Atlantisc Ocean 16 times and the Pacific twice to go help people in need. So, you should go and sign up to become a Seagoing Cowboy
Concluding Statement
Adequate
85c2fe353f8a
7D577B9D3888
The principal can decide a lot of things, but not decide what a student does before or after school
Lead
Ineffective
9e36d9be4d7a
7D577B9D3888
I disagree with the principal's idea of making all students do one extracurricular activity.
Position
Adequate
c349ea31c054
7D577B9D3888
First issue is, it extends an already drawn out school day, making the day last an extra hour or two
Claim
Ineffective
39c2ecb609bd
7D577B9D3888
Also, a student's talent may not represented in a club, therefore making them feel left out
Claim
Ineffective
da57a038a686
7D577B9D3888
Finally, students may have outside of school routines, or work they must do, and this rule interferes with their routine. This idea is taking away a bit more of a student's free will, thus leading to my argument
Claim
Adequate
070b09169b38
7D577B9D3888
could make students feel left out because their talent isn't represented
Claim
Ineffective
294d0d3d401f
7D577B9D3888
School can already be long and tiring, so there's no need to make it longer for students.
Evidence
Effective
cea53650f8b1
7D577B9D3888
While some may enjoy sports or other extracurricular activities,
Counterclaim
Adequate
30d1b4beb604
7D577B9D3888
those who do not are wasting their time by doing an activity they may not enjoy.
Rebuttal
Adequate
a6c86c0bf53b
7D577B9D3888
Some students may be very good in a certain thing, such as writing stories, or sculpting, or some other talent that isn't very popular. This then leads to them having nowhere to go, leaving them with something they don't enjoy. If the school doesn't have a club or activity that suits them, then they shouldn't have to participate in one. If they do, it's just extra work that'll bore them. Clubs are supposed to be enjoyable, and help students find others that have the same interests as them, but if participating in a club or activity is mandatory, students may feel left out, and not included. They may be excluded and picked on for having a talent that others can't relate to,or be picked on for not being good at something.
Evidence
Effective
3d7513d0098f
7D577B9D3888
In the morning, most students have a routine they follow. If they have an activity that begins 45 minutes before school, they have to rearrange their whole schedule. This can lead to them losing sleep, not getting a good enough breakfast, and generally under prepared for school. If a student has an after school activity, this can change and shorten their routine. If they get home, do homework, play games for 2 hours, eat dinner, shower, and then go to sleep, an activity can limit these things to less games or enjoyable activities, not as much of a dinner, and the day being taken up by mostly homework. It can cancel their time to relax or have fun, and cause a routine change. It shouldn't be up to the school to choose a students after or before school life, and throw off their entire schedule.
Evidence
Effective
fbcff3566840
7D577B9D3888
I disagree with the principal's idea. It lengthens out a long school day, can make students feel left out, and can mess with a student's schedule. It doesn't seem fair for the school to control a student's out of school time. While school is important, it shouldn't be a student's entire life, they need breaks from it. Clubs, activities, and sports are balanced because people who want to be in them join them, not because they have to. Other people can suffer from a student not participating in their activity making it not enjoyable for others. The school shouldn't choose a student's out of school life.
Concluding Statement
Effective
3fa450cff31e
7D59699BB70F
One of the advantages of getting rid of cars is traffic
Claim
Adequate
9c013ad60faf
7D59699BB70F
Cars is a major isssue because mostly in the mornings people are tryin to get from one place to another at the same time. This action causes Death,car wrecks,etc. Bogota colombia- In aprogram  thtas set to spread to other countries millions of colombians hiked,biked,skated or took buses during a car free day to avoid traffic jams.
Evidence
Adequate
06f53db1f92a
7D59699BB70F
Another cars is a bad idea is because of its gas.
Claim
Ineffective