OnAnOrange/Pun_recognition · Datasets at Hugging Face

ID stringlengths 5 8	EXPL stringlengths 25 733	TEXT stringlengths 12 392	CHOICE stringclasses 2 values
hom_1794	This is a pun on 'shortening' which in terms of speeches means to make not as long but in terms of baking, 'shortening' is any fat that is a solid at room temperature and used to make crumbly pastry and other food products.	Biscuits and speeches are better when made with shortening .	The given text is a pun
hom_1792	The joke is a pun. A general commanding an army might launch a pre-emptive strike, meaning a surprise attack before the other side strikes. 'Strike' can also mean knowcking over all the pins in one roll in bowling. Getting a strike in bowling before the names are even on the sheet could be called a 'pre-emptive strike'.	The general started bowling before his aide had entered his name on the score sheet . He had launched a pre - emptive strike .	The given text is a pun
hom_1791	I think the joke is that a bra supports breasts and without a bra the breasts would 'flop' or sag. Calling something a 'flop' means it was a failure.	Banning the bra was a big flop .	The given text is a pun
hom_179	This is a pun on the phrase 'lose their focus' which in the literal sense means the photographers lost their center of interest or activity, but in a photography sense 'focus' means the state or quality of having or producing clear visual definition.	OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die , they just lose their focus .	The given text is a pun
hom_1787	Ladders are pieces of equipment with elevated steps, allowing one to climb up said steps to reach high places for various tasks. Ladders involve climbing up and climbing down to use them. "To step down" is a common way of saying resigning or changing positions in a work or organizational capacity. This is a wordplay on the overlap between "ladder" and "step".	The president of a ladder manufacturer had to step down .	The given text is a pun
hom_1786	To pick something up means to adopt a pattern of behavior, or to start doing something. In weightlifting, people need to pick up weights in order to gain muscle. This joke is playing on the term "picked up".	He made a slow start in the sport of weightlifting but he picked it up eventually .	The given text is a pun
hom_1785	The joke is a pun I think? Glue is used to stick objects together. The phrase 'stick to it' typically means to keep trying at something to get the job done successfully.	Glue inventors have to stick to it .	The given text is a pun
hom_1783	This is a pun on the phrase "draw a crowd" meaning to attract a crowd, but it's also being used here in the literal sense since artists are known to draw	The artist was great . He could always draw a crowd .	The given text is a pun
hom_1782	The joke is a pun. 'Follow through' can typically be used to mean 'finish' or 'complete' some plan, so if one promises to play a game and never arranged it, they did not follow through. However, in golf 'following through' means swinging the club fully instead of stopping at the point of contact with the ball.	He would promise to play golf , but he didn ' t know how to follow through .	The given text is a pun
hom_1781	The joke is a pun on the word 'pictured'. Typically one would say 'I pictured myself' doing something to mean that they can imagine themselves doing it. The action being imagined is literally taking a picture or photograph of their self.	I ' ve always pictured myself taking selfies .	The given text is a pun
hom_178	The joke is a pun. Usually when fastening a seatbelt in a car for example, the part of the belt that connects will make a 'click' noise as it locks in. To say that something 'clicked' may also mean that the person suddenly figured out the correct way to do something.	I couldn ' t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt . Then it clicked .	The given text is a pun
hom_1775	Faults, in terms of character, refer to inadequacy or mistakes of a person. In geology, a fault is a fracture or discontinuity in a piece of rock. It's clever for the person who wrote this joke to use "faults" to describe geologists since it is a geological term. The joke is playing on the word faults.	OLD GEOLOGISTS never die , they just have their faults	The given text is a pun
hom_1773	A star is an actor who has a principal role in a movie or a show. Hollywood is full of actors that are stars. Stars can also refer to the luminous points seen in the night sky. Astronomers are people that observe and study objects outside of Earth, these include stars, planets, moons and comets. This joke is playing on the word "star" and its different meanings.	The astronomer became an actor because he always wanted to visit the stars .	The given text is a pun
hom_1770	The joke is a pun. A 'hacker' can mean a programmer who specializes in bypassing security measures. Being sick with a cold may make one cough or 'hack' which is another kind of cough.	A crazy programmer with a cold is a coughing hacker .	The given text is a pun
hom_177	To "sweep someone off their feet" means to impress someone quickly and in a way that is overpowering. A janitor is someone that keeps buildings clean, with sweeping being a common duty. Sweeping means to brush, or clean a floor with a broom. This joke is centered on the word "sweeping" and its different meanings.	A janitor with a broom in hand swept her off her feet .	The given text is a pun
hom_1766	This is a pun on how firefighters put out blazes and how "go to blazes" means to go away, which is similar to death.	OLD FIREFIGHTERS never die they just go to blazes .	The given text is a pun
hom_1764	Typically people go to the gym and increase their fitness to lose weight, or excess fat. If an opinion "carries weight" it means that opinion has meaning and can affect someone strongly in an emotional way. The joke is centered on the word "weight" and its different uses.	I found out that at the gym , their opinion on fitness carries a lot of weight .	The given text is a pun
hom_1763	"That's a puzzle to me" is a saying meaning that "that's confusing to me" or "it puzzles me". "That's a puzzle to me" can also be taken literally. The pun says that people take beautiful pictures and cut them into pieces, and that's how puzzles get created. A puzzle is a toy that is designed to test a person's problem solving skills. The pun is playing on the word puzzle.	Some people take beautiful pictures and cut them into pieces . That ' s a puzzle to me .	The given text is a pun
hom_1761	This is a play on words. A "bar" is a drinking establishment where musicians or performers sometimes play. However, a "bar" is also a segment of time corresponding to a specific number of beats in music.	Piano players know what bar they are in .	The given text is a pun
hom_1759	This is a play on words. The term "core values" means fundamental beliefs. But the "core" of an apple is the stem and seed of the apple. By eating an apple's stem and seeds, the people in the joke improve their core values by literally eating the apple's core.	People who eat their apples stem and seed and all improve their core values .	The given text is a pun
hom_1756	Gift can mean ability. Gift also means a thing willingly given to someone without payment, so a present. This person tried wrapping Christmas presents, but didn't have the gift (or ability). It could also mean that they didn't have the literal gift (the present).	I tried wrapping Christmas presents , but I didn ' t have the gift .	The given text is a pun
hom_1755	Another word for soft drink is pop. Pops is apparently the name of the person in the joke. This joke is playing on the different meaning of pops.	They call me Pops . I sell soft drinks .	The given text is a pun
hom_1751	Getting stoned refers to being under the influence of a drug (typically marijuana) and 1970s America experienced a strong war on drugs. A stone is a hard substance found in the ground, another word for it is rock. In ancient times, if someone did something criminal, they would get rocks thrown at them as punishment. This also means to get stoned. This joke is a play on the term "getting stoned".	The only similarity between ancient times and the 1970 ' s is that both were full of people getting stoned .	The given text is a pun
hom_1750	This is a pun on the word "stop" as it means both to cease an activity (in this case life) and a part of a pipe organ.	OLD ORGANISTS never die , they just come to a stop .	The given text is a pun
hom_175	To have a blast means to have a good time. Astronauts are people trained to go into outer space. When a space craft goes off into space, it's about to "blast off" or leave Earth. This joke is centered on the word "blast" and its different meanings.	He became an astronaut and had a blast .	The given text is a pun
hom_1748	The joke is a pun. The phrase 'get the skinny' means to 'gather information' or 'get a summary'. 'Skinny' also means having very little body weight, which might happen if one was anorexic and avoiding eating.	I wanted to do some research on anorexia , so I went to the library to get the skinny .	The given text is a pun
hom_1747	The joke is a pun. Being 'an unbelievable worker' typically means being very good at one's job. Being a dishonest person would make it hard for people to believe what that person is saying. The person in this joke is probably so dishonest that they are called 'unbelievable' or unable to be believed or trusted.	For a dishonest employee : He ' s an unbelievable worker .	The given text is a pun
hom_1742	This is a pun on 'circulation' which in the context of a doctor means the continuous motion by which the blood travels through all parts of the body under the action of the heart. But it's also being used because 'circulation' can also mean the number of copies sold of a newspaper or magazine, which is what an editor might be concerned with	When the doctor asked the editor how he was doing , he said he had a problem with his circulation .	The given text is a pun
hom_174	The joke is a pun. Armor made from chain links is called mail. Mail is also the delivery of packages and letters. Tom is talking about making mail and he replied by mail.	' ' I make the armour out of chain links , ' ' Tom replied by mail .	The given text is a pun
hom_1737	This is a pun on 'poached' which can mean to take or acquire in an unfair or clandestine way, but it's also used because 'poached' is a style of cooked eggs	Stolen eggs are poached .	The given text is a pun
hom_1735	Swell means excellent, or very good. A swell can also refer to a series of ocean waves. Surfing is the subject of the joke. This joke is playing on the word "swell" because of its different meanings.	Surfing is a swell sport !	The given text is a pun
hom_1734	This is a pun on "dawned" which in this conext means realizing something, but it's also used because 'dawn' also means start of a new day	I once had insomnia so bad I was awake until it dawned on me .	The given text is a pun
hom_1729	A multipllication table shows the products of two factors. Waiters are servers that serve food and drink to their customers. They know their tables, as in, they know what kind of items the customers at their tables want but it could also mean they know their multiplication tables.	Waiters are good at multiplication because they know their tables .	The given text is a pun
hom_1726	The joke is a play on words. The device used to change television channels from a distance is called a 'remote'. The phrase 'remote possibility' means 'very unlikely'.	Years ago , changing TV channels from a sitting position was a remote possibility .	The given text is a pun
hom_1720	"Sentence" has two meanings. A sentence can refer to a string of words with a subject and predicate. A sentence can also refer to punishment. The joke is centered on the word "sentence" and its different meanings in relation to marriage.	To some - marriage is a word . . . to others - a sentence .	The given text is a pun
hom_172	Miners are people that dig around underground to find precious metals, or other substances of value. "Veins" can refer to a fracture in a rock that contains valuable minerals or substances. "Veins" can also refer to tubes that form part of the blood circulation system of the body. This joke is playing on the word "veins" and its different meanings.	OLD MINERS never die , they just lose their veins .	The given text is a pun
hom_1719	To unleash potential means to remove all restrictions. Dogs are often walked on leashes, meaning that dogs often are bound by a collar with a cord attached to it. This joke centers around the word unleash and its different meanings.	My dog has a lot of potential , you just have to unleash it .	The given text is a pun
hom_1717	In Scotland, the term "wee" is used to mean small. In English, "wee" is used to mean urinate. So the joke is playing on the different uses of the word "wee". The joke could be understand as the person have a small accident, or a small urinary accident.	The incontinent Scotsman had a wee accident .	The given text is a pun
hom_1714	Cashiers work with change, in terms of money. Saying someone 'changes' means that they have altered something about themselves. The saying that they never die, they just change is a pun.	OLD CASHIERS never die , they just change .	The given text is a pun
hom_1713	Magnets attract metal objects. Attract, or attractive can mean appealing to look at. The magnetic steam iron makes clothes appealing to look at, or attractive to metals.	There ' s a new magnetic steam iron that makes your clothes attractive .	The given text is a pun
hom_1711	The joke is a pun. Bees make a buzzing noise when they fly. 'Buzz off' is a phrase that generally means 'go away' or 'leave me alone'. It doesn't exactly relate to death, but I suppose instead of dying old beekeepers just go away.	OLD BEEKEEPERS never die they just buzz off .	The given text is a pun
hom_1708	This is a pun on the word "flagged". To flag away means to disappear, or diminish. "Flagged" has the word "flag" in it. Semaphore is a method of signalling across a distance. Flags are often used for this purpose.	Semaphore was flagged away as a form of communication decades ago .	The given text is a pun
hom_1704	This is a play on words. The phrase "point of no return" means point after which you can no longer turn back. But fishhooks have a literal point, a sharp pointy end. This joke references how when a fish bites a hook it's the point of no return, because they can't turn back but also the point of no return because the fishhook has a literal point, or sharp pointed end.	For a fish , the end of a barbed hook is the ' ' point ' ' of no return .	The given text is a pun
hom_1700	The joke is a play on words. Insomnia is when a person is unable to sleep. The phrase 'tired of it' is generally used to mean 'I am bored with it' or 'I don't want to think about it or talk about it anymore'. The word 'tired' is used because this involves sleep.	Last week I was diagnosed with insomnia , and now I ' m just so tired of it .	The given text is a pun
hom_170	This is a pun on the phrase 'going through a stage' which means to experience or be in the midst of a temporary period of change, development, or fluctuation, but it's also being used because 'going through a stage' is literally what Houdini was doing when he entered through trap doors	For a while , Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act , but he was just going through a stage .	The given text is a pun
hom_1698	fire flame blazzes when theres fire that needs to go out	She was only a Fireman ' s daughter , but she ' s really going to blazes .	The given text is a pun
hom_1697	This is a play on words. The word "contacts" means people you know who can help you get jobs but "contacts" also means contact lenses which an eye doctor would specialize in.	There was an eye doctor who wanted to re - locate but couldn ' t find a job because he didn ' t have enough contacts .	The given text is a pun
hom_1694	The term "blew it" can mean that someone failed at something. "Blew it" can also be taken in the literal sense, meaning someone expelled air through their lips into or through something. A trumpet is an instrument that only produces sound if air is blown into it. The joke is playing on the phrase "blew it" while referring to a trumpet player.	He auditioned for a part as a trumpet player but he blew it .	The given text is a pun
hom_1691	This is a pun on the word "proof". They're asking where the proof, or evidence, is that the drink is non-alcoholic. Proof can also refer to a measure of percentage of alcohol in a drink. So they are also asking where the alcohol is because it is a non-alcoholic drink.	She told me the drink was non - alcoholic , but where was the proof ?	The given text is a pun
hom_1687	Working out is another way of saying exercising. Something working out also means it works or happens successfully, but in this case, the person who wanted to exercise didn't work it out successfully.	I wanted to exercise last night but it just didn ' t work out .	The given text is a pun
hom_1682	The joke is a play on words. The lightbulb is an invention that creates light from electricity. To 'see someone in a new light' means to have a different point of view on them, or to see a side of someone that wasn't known about before.	After he invented the light bulb , people saw Edison in a new light .	The given text is a pun
hom_1680	The joke is a pun. Cardiologists are doctors that specialize in treatments for the heart. 'Losing heart' is a phrase means to lose faith or become hopeless about something. Taken literally, the phrase could mean to actually lose one's heart from their body somehow, and could imply death.	OLD CARDIOLOGISTS never die , they just lose heart .	The given text is a pun
hom_1678	This is a pun on the phrase 'beats me' which in this context means the speaker cant figure out a reason why someone would want to be a masochist, but it's also being used because masochists enjoy pain and therefore would like to get beaten	Beats me why anyone would want to be a masochist .	The given text is a pun
hom_1677	This is a pun on the phrase 'got a litte behind in his work', which usually means that someone has lacked productivity in work, but it's also being used because the butcher backed into the grinder implying that some of his rear end (behind) got caught into the grinder and is now in the rest of his meant (work)	The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work .	The given text is a pun
hom_1676	The joke is that on every hour, a clock would play a bell or chime to notify that it is the start of another hour in the day. To say somebody 'chimed in' is to say that they entered a conversation and said something.	' ' It ' s twelve noon , ' ' Tom chimed in .	The given text is a pun
hom_1670	Banks typically apply interest rates on things like loans, which is basically their way of profiting off of your loan payoffs. A conflict of interest is where two things that are involved with eachother have some type of underlying issue. It's a plan on the phrase conflict of interest, as in the two banks have different interest rates.	Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest .	The given text is a pun
hom_1666	This is a play on words. The phrase "parting words" means the things you say as you are leaving but a "parting" in someone's hair is the line running from the front or back of their head. The punchline here is that "comb and brush" are "parting words" because those objects are used to part hair to one side.	Do you have any parting words ? - How about comb and brush ?	The given text is a pun
hom_1661	When someone gets "a kick out of it", what they're saying is they find something funny. A kick is a fast swing of the leg, meant to hit something. A donkey is a hoofed mammal that can balance on two legs and still accurately kick out with the back or front feet. This joke is playing on the phrase "get a kick out of it" and its different meanings.	He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it .	The given text is a pun
hom_1655	The joke is a pun. It sounds as if the speaker is talking about medication tablets, meaning pills, but the meaning of 'tablet' being used is the stone tablets that the ten commandments were chizeled on.	For fast relief take two tablets . The ten commandments	The given text is a pun
hom_1652	A "good idea on paper" means that the idea sounded good, but when tested in real life, it was not as good as once thought. Pens are writing tools that excrete ink and are used on paper. The joke is centered on the phrase "on paper".	Erasable pens were a good idea on paper .	The given text is a pun
hom_165	The joke is a pun. A thief is someone who steals from others. In baseball, a runner standing on a base may 'steal' by running to the next base while the pitching team may not be paying close attention to them.	A baseball player was a thief . He was always trying to steal .	The given text is a pun
hom_1648	Scientists allow us to know more scientific facts about the sun, and they help us literally look at the sun without going blind.	Scientists allow us to see the sun in a different light .	The given text is a pun
hom_1647	This is a play on words. The word "circulation" refers to blood flow through the circulatory system that's essential to keep a person alive. However, library "circulation" relates to the practice of lending library books to users.	OLD LIBRARIANS never die , they just lose their circulation .	The given text is a pun
hom_1642	This is a pun on 'hearing' which in this context is used to mean the defendants court date apperance, but it's also being used since the other definition of hearing is directly related to ears	The earless defendant waived his hearing .	The given text is a pun
hom_1637	A mouse can refer to both the small rodent, or a computer mouse. Cat's are known for chasing mice, so the pun is about a cat taking lessons to learn how to grip a mouse better via computer interaction.	The cat took up computer lessons in hopes of mastering its grip on a mouse .	The given text is a pun
hom_1636	Chopper is a nickname for helicopter. Choppers can also mean teeth in slang. This joke is playing on the word choppers because of its different meanings.	OLD HELICOPTER PILOTS never die , they just lose their choppers .	The given text is a pun
hom_163	This is a pun on 'vent' which is an opening that allows air, gas, or liquid to pass out of or into a confined space, but 'vent' also means to give free expression to (a strong emotion)	In the air duct installers union they have lots of opportunity to vent .	The given text is a pun
hom_1628	This is a play on words. The man says he can stop drinking brake fluid anytime but the implication is that drinking the brake fluid allows him to stop since brake fluid is designed to help cars stop.	The man addicted to brake fluid said he could stop any time .	The given text is a pun
hom_1625	This is a pun on the word "makeup". a Makeup session" can refer to a class session that you take later because you missed it. It can also refer to the time you spend putting on makeup or cosmetics. This joke is about beauty school, where you takes classes on makeup.	If you miss a class at beauty school you ' ll need a makeup session .	The given text is a pun
hom_1622	The word bluster can mean to talk in a loud, aggressive way with little effect. Bluster can also be used to describe a storm or rain. A blustery storm is a storm that blows or beats fiercely and noisily.	As usual , the chief meteorologist blustered his way through the staff meeting .	The given text is a pun
hom_1618	An optometrist is someone who checks and advises on visual health and can prescribe glasses and contacts. In this pun, people of vision means someone who has a clear vision or direction of guidance and development, which is a helpful quality if running for president.	Have an optometrist run for president , because they are people of vision .	The given text is a pun
hom_1616	The joke is that the subject is trying to join the rambling club but the person he's talking to in order to join is rambling, or talking on and on, which ironically prevents the subject from joining the club.	I wanted to join my local rambling club , but the guy I spoke to on the phone just went on and on .	The given text is a pun
hom_1615	A mint is a place where money is made. The "make a lot of money" part can refer to the salaries that employees of a mint make, or it can refer to the actual minting of money itself. This joke is playing on the phrase "make a lot of money" because it can refer to two different things.	People who work at a mint make a lot of money .	The given text is a pun
hom_1614	This is a pun on the word "premises" as it means both beliefs (of the philosopher) and a dwelling of their retirement.	OLD PHILOSOPHERS never die , they just retire to their own premises .	The given text is a pun
hom_1608	This is a pun. A "metal dog leash" would almost certainly be made of chain links. "Chain store" is used to refer to stores which belong to a larger network of stores commonly sharing the same branding and ownership, which are all part of one chain. Therefore there are two readings at once: a store specializing in chains would indeed be more likely to have a metal dog leash in stock, and a chain store (presumably specializing in pet care) would be more likely to have a chain link dog leash in stock.	If you want a metal dog leash go to a chain store .	The given text is a pun
hom_1607	People go to hospitals when they have been hurt in an accident. The joke is referring to a musician going to the hospital. The musician played too many "accidentals". An accidental is a sign ( a sharp, or a flat) that is placed near a note. The joke is playing on the word accident.	A musician went to hospital after playing too many accidentals .	The given text is a pun
hom_1605	A screw is a metal object similar to a nail, except it has a raised spiral line around it. Installing a ceiling fan requires use of screws. A screw helps fasten pieces together. The screws for the ceiling fan would need to be screwed upwards in order to install it. The installer is "screwing up" the fan, or installing the fan into the ceiling. "Screwing up" is a saying which means messing up. This joke is playing on the word "screwing up" and its different meanings.	How could I trust the ceiling fan installer when I knew he was always screwing up .	The given text is a pun
hom_1596	"Add up" is saying. For something to "add up" means something makes sense. If something does not "add up" it means it doesn't make sense. In math, addition, or to add up numbers, means to put together two or more numbers to get their total value. The joke is in the phrase "add up" and its different meanings.	His qualifications as a math teacher didn ' t add up .	The given text is a pun
hom_1593	Quarters are coins that are worth twenty-five cents. Four quarters are worth the same as one dollar. Quarters can also mean a living space. Rental agents offer living spaces, or quarters to people. The joke is playing on the word quarters and how it relates to money and to a living space.	Rental agents offer quarters for dollars .	The given text is a pun
hom_1592	When something folds, it could mean that is failed or was unsuccessful. Blankets are typically folded to make them compact and organize them, so it's a play on the word folded in terms of a blanket factory failing.	I used to work in a blanket factory but it folded .	The given text is a pun
hom_1590	A bull that charges is a bull that runs. To charge someone can also mean to demand payment for service. So, "the bull charges" could just mean that the bull is asking for monetary payment.	Notice in a field : The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free , but the bull charges .	The given text is a pun
hom_1588	A surgeon is a doctor that helps heal people through surgery. Surgery is characterized by cutting into someone and removing something that doesn't belong, or fixing something that needs to be fixed. To make the cut means to meet a requirement. This joke is playing on the word "cut" and its different meanings.	In medical school he worried about passing as a surgeon , but he made the cut .	The given text is a pun
hom_1574	This is a pun on the word "grave". "Grave" is used to emphasize that something is very bad. A grave charge is a terrible, huge charge. The word "grave" can also mean a stone slab you put where someone has been buried. The sign is in a cemetery, and a cemetery is full of graves.	A sign at a cemetery reads , ' No Trespassing , Violators Will Face Grave Charges ' .	The given text is a pun
hom_1573	This is a pun on 'dry humor', which is known as the deliberate display of emotional neutrality or no emotion, commonly as a form of comedic delivery to contrast with the ridiculousness or absurdity of the subject matter. However it's used here in the literal sense because the desert is a very dry place	People in the desert have dry humor .	The given text is a pun
hom_1570	This is a pun on 'recovered' which means to return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength, like you'd want to recover after falling into a machine. But it's also being used because upholstry is the work of providing furniture, especially seats, with padding, springs, webbing, and fabric or leather covers. So in this case the speaker was covered in fabric	The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered .	The given text is a pun
hom_157	This is a pun on the phrase 'pipe down' which commonly means to be quiet, but it's also being used because plumbers work on pipes	OLD PLUMBERS never die , they just pipe down .	The given text is a pun
hom_1567	To stride is to walk with long decisive steps in a direction. When you run a marathon, you are taking strides in the direction of the finish line. To take something in stride is to be able to go with the flow. This person is going with the flow on the marathon date change.	The date of the marathon was changed . She took it in stride .	The given text is a pun
hom_1565	A guitarist is someone that plays the guitar. A guitar is an instrument with strings. If something is wrong with a guitar string, say it's broken, then the broken string need to be unstrung and replaced with one that is functional. If someone is unstrung, they are upset or weak. The joke is saying that guitarists don't die, they just become upset, or weak. The joke is playing on the different definitions of "unstrung".	OLD GUITARISTS never die , they just become unstrung .	The given text is a pun
hom_1564	The joke is a play on the phrase 'have the floor.' Typically that phrase is used to say that a person speaking has the stage or platform to speak on. The janitor cleans the floors, and so they would always 'have the floor'.	When the janitor wanted to take up public speaking he always had the floor .	The given text is a pun
hom_1563	A rabbi is a religious leader that can often be found preaching in temples. Temples are buildings devoted to worship. Temples can also refer to the flat part of either side of the head between the forehead and the ear. Getting grey around the temples just means to be growing grey hair around the head.	OLD RABBIS never die , they just get grey around the temples .	The given text is a pun
hom_1561	The joke is a pun. The ancient ruins in Greece are known for having large stone columns or pillars. Another meaning of the word 'column' is a a vertical division of a page or text, typically in magazines or newspapers which a journalist would write for.	The journalist went to Greece to see the ancient ruins and is now writing several columns about them .	The given text is a pun
hom_1560	The phrase "to get high" means to take drugs so you experience a change in your perception of the things around you. It's meant to be an enjoyable experience. The people in the joke are a passenger and a pilot. A pilot is someone that flies an airplane. The passenger asks the pilot "how high he would get" which most likely meant "at what altitude will we be at while flying?". The pilot misunderstood the question, thinking that the passenger was referring to sense perception. The joke is playing on the different meanings of the phrase "how high".	When asked by a passenger how high he would get , the pilot replied , ' I don ' t do drugs . '	The given text is a pun
hom_156	The air force drops bombs which is an explosive device. A bombshell not only means an artillery shell, but it can also mean someone that is very attractive. Models are typically attractive people that wear or display an item in order to sell it.	The model who joined the air force was a bombshell .	The given text is a pun
hom_1559	This is a pun on 'something to count on' which measn something you can depend on. But this saying is also being used because not only are some people dependant on calculators, but you can also literally count on them	Trust your calculator . It ' s something to count on .	The given text is a pun
hom_1558	This is a pun on 'strokes' which in painters terms means a mark made by drawing a pen, pencil, or paintbrush in one direction across paper or canvas. But 'stroke' can also mean a sudden disabling attack or loss of consciousness caused by an interruption in the flow of blood to the brain, especially through thrombosis.	The painter was hospitalized due to too many strokes .	The given text is a pun
hom_1555	"Broke it off" has two meanings. It can mean to end a relationship with, and it can also mean to become physically separate. The person in this joke has a boyfriend with a wooden leg. If the person has a wooden leg, that means their real leg became detached at one point. "Broke it off" can refer to what happend to the leg, as in, she broke off her boyfriend's leg. "Broke it off" can also be directed at the relationship, as in, she ended the relationship with her boyfriend. The joke is centered around "broke it off" and how it could refer to two different things.	She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg , but broke it off .	The given text is a pun
hom_1549	Bowling is a sport where a player tries to knock down as many pins as they can in an alley. A strike in bowling means that all the pins were knocked down. A strike can refer to lightning, like a lightning strike, which is when a bolt of electricity gets released from the atmosphere and hits the ground.	A bowling team was called ' lightning ' because they had so many strikes .	The given text is a pun
hom_1547	Expire is a term used to explain credit cards that exceed their period of validity. Expire is another word for die. This joke is playing on the word expire because it relates to credit card terminology, and to people.	OLD CREDIT CARD USERS never die , they just expire .	The given text is a pun
hom_1545	This is a play on words. The phrase "picking up" means feeling better after a hospital stay but "picking up" refers to how vacuum cleaners (like the one the mate swallowed) are used to pick up debris.	My mate swallowed a cordless vacuum cleaner , they took him to hospital and he is picking up nicely .	The given text is a pun
hom_1543	This is a pun on 'execution' which in the terms of the electric chair means the carrying out of a sentence of death on a condemned person, but in computer terms 'execution' can also mean the performance of an instruction or program.	A computer program attached to an electric chair would have to have its execution checked carefully .	The given text is a pun

hom_1794

This is a pun on 'shortening' which in terms of speeches means to make not as long but in terms of baking, 'shortening' is any fat that is a solid at room temperature and used to make crumbly pastry and other food products.

Biscuits and speeches are better when made with shortening .

The given text is a pun

hom_1792

The joke is a pun. A general commanding an army might launch a pre-emptive strike, meaning a surprise attack before the other side strikes. 'Strike' can also mean knowcking over all the pins in one roll in bowling. Getting a strike in bowling before the names are even on the sheet could be called a 'pre-emptive strike'.

The general started bowling before his aide had entered his name on the score sheet . He had launched a pre - emptive strike .

The given text is a pun

hom_1791

I think the joke is that a bra supports breasts and without a bra the breasts would 'flop' or sag. Calling something a 'flop' means it was a failure.

Banning the bra was a big flop .

The given text is a pun

hom_179

This is a pun on the phrase 'lose their focus' which in the literal sense means the photographers lost their center of interest or activity, but in a photography sense 'focus' means the state or quality of having or producing clear visual definition.

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die , they just lose their focus .

The given text is a pun

hom_1787

Ladders are pieces of equipment with elevated steps, allowing one to climb up said steps to reach high places for various tasks. Ladders involve climbing up and climbing down to use them. "To step down" is a common way of saying resigning or changing positions in a work or organizational capacity. This is a wordplay on the overlap between "ladder" and "step".

The president of a ladder manufacturer had to step down .

The given text is a pun

hom_1786

To pick something up means to adopt a pattern of behavior, or to start doing something. In weightlifting, people need to pick up weights in order to gain muscle. This joke is playing on the term "picked up".

He made a slow start in the sport of weightlifting but he picked it up eventually .

The given text is a pun

hom_1785

The joke is a pun I think? Glue is used to stick objects together. The phrase 'stick to it' typically means to keep trying at something to get the job done successfully.

Glue inventors have to stick to it .

The given text is a pun

hom_1783

This is a pun on the phrase "draw a crowd" meaning to attract a crowd, but it's also being used here in the literal sense since artists are known to draw

The artist was great . He could always draw a crowd .

The given text is a pun

hom_1782

The joke is a pun. 'Follow through' can typically be used to mean 'finish' or 'complete' some plan, so if one promises to play a game and never arranged it, they did not follow through. However, in golf 'following through' means swinging the club fully instead of stopping at the point of contact with the ball.

He would promise to play golf , but he didn ' t know how to follow through .

The given text is a pun

hom_1781

The joke is a pun on the word 'pictured'. Typically one would say 'I pictured myself' doing something to mean that they can imagine themselves doing it. The action being imagined is literally taking a picture or photograph of their self.

I ' ve always pictured myself taking selfies .

The given text is a pun

hom_178

The joke is a pun. Usually when fastening a seatbelt in a car for example, the part of the belt that connects will make a 'click' noise as it locks in. To say that something 'clicked' may also mean that the person suddenly figured out the correct way to do something.

I couldn ' t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt . Then it clicked .

The given text is a pun

hom_1775

Faults, in terms of character, refer to inadequacy or mistakes of a person. In geology, a fault is a fracture or discontinuity in a piece of rock. It's clever for the person who wrote this joke to use "faults" to describe geologists since it is a geological term. The joke is playing on the word faults.

OLD GEOLOGISTS never die , they just have their faults

The given text is a pun

hom_1773

A star is an actor who has a principal role in a movie or a show. Hollywood is full of actors that are stars. Stars can also refer to the luminous points seen in the night sky. Astronomers are people that observe and study objects outside of Earth, these include stars, planets, moons and comets. This joke is playing on the word "star" and its different meanings.

The astronomer became an actor because he always wanted to visit the stars .

The given text is a pun

hom_1770

The joke is a pun. A 'hacker' can mean a programmer who specializes in bypassing security measures. Being sick with a cold may make one cough or 'hack' which is another kind of cough.

A crazy programmer with a cold is a coughing hacker .

The given text is a pun

hom_177

To "sweep someone off their feet" means to impress someone quickly and in a way that is overpowering. A janitor is someone that keeps buildings clean, with sweeping being a common duty. Sweeping means to brush, or clean a floor with a broom. This joke is centered on the word "sweeping" and its different meanings.

A janitor with a broom in hand swept her off her feet .

The given text is a pun

hom_1766

This is a pun on how firefighters put out blazes and how "go to blazes" means to go away, which is similar to death.

OLD FIREFIGHTERS never die they just go to blazes .

The given text is a pun

hom_1764

Typically people go to the gym and increase their fitness to lose weight, or excess fat. If an opinion "carries weight" it means that opinion has meaning and can affect someone strongly in an emotional way. The joke is centered on the word "weight" and its different uses.

I found out that at the gym , their opinion on fitness carries a lot of weight .

The given text is a pun

hom_1763

"That's a puzzle to me" is a saying meaning that "that's confusing to me" or "it puzzles me". "That's a puzzle to me" can also be taken literally. The pun says that people take beautiful pictures and cut them into pieces, and that's how puzzles get created. A puzzle is a toy that is designed to test a person's problem solving skills. The pun is playing on the word puzzle.

Some people take beautiful pictures and cut them into pieces . That ' s a puzzle to me .

The given text is a pun

hom_1761

This is a play on words. A "bar" is a drinking establishment where musicians or performers sometimes play. However, a "bar" is also a segment of time corresponding to a specific number of beats in music.

Piano players know what bar they are in .

The given text is a pun

hom_1759

This is a play on words. The term "core values" means fundamental beliefs. But the "core" of an apple is the stem and seed of the apple. By eating an apple's stem and seeds, the people in the joke improve their core values by literally eating the apple's core.

People who eat their apples stem and seed and all improve their core values .

The given text is a pun

hom_1756

Gift can mean ability. Gift also means a thing willingly given to someone without payment, so a present. This person tried wrapping Christmas presents, but didn't have the gift (or ability). It could also mean that they didn't have the literal gift (the present).

I tried wrapping Christmas presents , but I didn ' t have the gift .

The given text is a pun

hom_1755

Another word for soft drink is pop. Pops is apparently the name of the person in the joke. This joke is playing on the different meaning of pops.

They call me Pops . I sell soft drinks .

The given text is a pun

hom_1751

Getting stoned refers to being under the influence of a drug (typically marijuana) and 1970s America experienced a strong war on drugs. A stone is a hard substance found in the ground, another word for it is rock. In ancient times, if someone did something criminal, they would get rocks thrown at them as punishment. This also means to get stoned. This joke is a play on the term "getting stoned".

The only similarity between ancient times and the 1970 ' s is that both were full of people getting stoned .

The given text is a pun

hom_1750

This is a pun on the word "stop" as it means both to cease an activity (in this case life) and a part of a pipe organ.

OLD ORGANISTS never die , they just come to a stop .

The given text is a pun

hom_175

To have a blast means to have a good time. Astronauts are people trained to go into outer space. When a space craft goes off into space, it's about to "blast off" or leave Earth. This joke is centered on the word "blast" and its different meanings.

He became an astronaut and had a blast .

The given text is a pun

hom_1748

The joke is a pun. The phrase 'get the skinny' means to 'gather information' or 'get a summary'. 'Skinny' also means having very little body weight, which might happen if one was anorexic and avoiding eating.

I wanted to do some research on anorexia , so I went to the library to get the skinny .

The given text is a pun

hom_1747

The joke is a pun. Being 'an unbelievable worker' typically means being very good at one's job. Being a dishonest person would make it hard for people to believe what that person is saying. The person in this joke is probably so dishonest that they are called 'unbelievable' or unable to be believed or trusted.

For a dishonest employee : He ' s an unbelievable worker .

The given text is a pun

hom_1742

This is a pun on 'circulation' which in the context of a doctor means the continuous motion by which the blood travels through all parts of the body under the action of the heart. But it's also being used because 'circulation' can also mean the number of copies sold of a newspaper or magazine, which is what an editor might be concerned with

When the doctor asked the editor how he was doing , he said he had a problem with his circulation .

The given text is a pun

hom_174

The joke is a pun. Armor made from chain links is called mail. Mail is also the delivery of packages and letters. Tom is talking about making mail and he replied by mail.

' ' I make the armour out of chain links , ' ' Tom replied by mail .

The given text is a pun

hom_1737

This is a pun on 'poached' which can mean to take or acquire in an unfair or clandestine way, but it's also used because 'poached' is a style of cooked eggs

Stolen eggs are poached .

The given text is a pun

hom_1735

Swell means excellent, or very good. A swell can also refer to a series of ocean waves. Surfing is the subject of the joke. This joke is playing on the word "swell" because of its different meanings.

Surfing is a swell sport !

The given text is a pun

hom_1734

This is a pun on "dawned" which in this conext means realizing something, but it's also used because 'dawn' also means start of a new day

I once had insomnia so bad I was awake until it dawned on me .

The given text is a pun

hom_1729

A multipllication table shows the products of two factors. Waiters are servers that serve food and drink to their customers. They know their tables, as in, they know what kind of items the customers at their tables want but it could also mean they know their multiplication tables.

Waiters are good at multiplication because they know their tables .

The given text is a pun

hom_1726

The joke is a play on words. The device used to change television channels from a distance is called a 'remote'. The phrase 'remote possibility' means 'very unlikely'.

Years ago , changing TV channels from a sitting position was a remote possibility .

The given text is a pun

hom_1720

"Sentence" has two meanings. A sentence can refer to a string of words with a subject and predicate. A sentence can also refer to punishment. The joke is centered on the word "sentence" and its different meanings in relation to marriage.

To some - marriage is a word . . . to others - a sentence .

The given text is a pun

hom_172

Miners are people that dig around underground to find precious metals, or other substances of value. "Veins" can refer to a fracture in a rock that contains valuable minerals or substances. "Veins" can also refer to tubes that form part of the blood circulation system of the body. This joke is playing on the word "veins" and its different meanings.

OLD MINERS never die , they just lose their veins .

The given text is a pun

hom_1719

To unleash potential means to remove all restrictions. Dogs are often walked on leashes, meaning that dogs often are bound by a collar with a cord attached to it. This joke centers around the word unleash and its different meanings.

My dog has a lot of potential , you just have to unleash it .

The given text is a pun

hom_1717

In Scotland, the term "wee" is used to mean small. In English, "wee" is used to mean urinate. So the joke is playing on the different uses of the word "wee". The joke could be understand as the person have a small accident, or a small urinary accident.

The incontinent Scotsman had a wee accident .

The given text is a pun

hom_1714

Cashiers work with change, in terms of money. Saying someone 'changes' means that they have altered something about themselves. The saying that they never die, they just change is a pun.

OLD CASHIERS never die , they just change .

The given text is a pun

hom_1713

Magnets attract metal objects. Attract, or attractive can mean appealing to look at. The magnetic steam iron makes clothes appealing to look at, or attractive to metals.

There ' s a new magnetic steam iron that makes your clothes attractive .

The given text is a pun

hom_1711

The joke is a pun. Bees make a buzzing noise when they fly. 'Buzz off' is a phrase that generally means 'go away' or 'leave me alone'. It doesn't exactly relate to death, but I suppose instead of dying old beekeepers just go away.

OLD BEEKEEPERS never die they just buzz off .

The given text is a pun

hom_1708

This is a pun on the word "flagged". To flag away means to disappear, or diminish. "Flagged" has the word "flag" in it. Semaphore is a method of signalling across a distance. Flags are often used for this purpose.

Semaphore was flagged away as a form of communication decades ago .

The given text is a pun

hom_1704

This is a play on words. The phrase "point of no return" means point after which you can no longer turn back. But fishhooks have a literal point, a sharp pointy end. This joke references how when a fish bites a hook it's the point of no return, because they can't turn back but also the point of no return because the fishhook has a literal point, or sharp pointed end.

For a fish , the end of a barbed hook is the ' ' point ' ' of no return .

The given text is a pun

hom_1700

The joke is a play on words. Insomnia is when a person is unable to sleep. The phrase 'tired of it' is generally used to mean 'I am bored with it' or 'I don't want to think about it or talk about it anymore'. The word 'tired' is used because this involves sleep.

Last week I was diagnosed with insomnia , and now I ' m just so tired of it .

The given text is a pun

hom_170

This is a pun on the phrase 'going through a stage' which means to experience or be in the midst of a temporary period of change, development, or fluctuation, but it's also being used because 'going through a stage' is literally what Houdini was doing when he entered through trap doors

For a while , Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act , but he was just going through a stage .

The given text is a pun

hom_1698

fire flame blazzes when theres fire that needs to go out

She was only a Fireman ' s daughter , but she ' s really going to blazes .

The given text is a pun

hom_1697

This is a play on words. The word "contacts" means people you know who can help you get jobs but "contacts" also means contact lenses which an eye doctor would specialize in.

There was an eye doctor who wanted to re - locate but couldn ' t find a job because he didn ' t have enough contacts .

The given text is a pun

hom_1694

The term "blew it" can mean that someone failed at something. "Blew it" can also be taken in the literal sense, meaning someone expelled air through their lips into or through something. A trumpet is an instrument that only produces sound if air is blown into it. The joke is playing on the phrase "blew it" while referring to a trumpet player.

He auditioned for a part as a trumpet player but he blew it .

The given text is a pun

hom_1691

This is a pun on the word "proof". They're asking where the proof, or evidence, is that the drink is non-alcoholic. Proof can also refer to a measure of percentage of alcohol in a drink. So they are also asking where the alcohol is because it is a non-alcoholic drink.

She told me the drink was non - alcoholic , but where was the proof ?

The given text is a pun

hom_1687

Working out is another way of saying exercising. Something working out also means it works or happens successfully, but in this case, the person who wanted to exercise didn't work it out successfully.

I wanted to exercise last night but it just didn ' t work out .

The given text is a pun

hom_1682

The joke is a play on words. The lightbulb is an invention that creates light from electricity. To 'see someone in a new light' means to have a different point of view on them, or to see a side of someone that wasn't known about before.

After he invented the light bulb , people saw Edison in a new light .

The given text is a pun

hom_1680

The joke is a pun. Cardiologists are doctors that specialize in treatments for the heart. 'Losing heart' is a phrase means to lose faith or become hopeless about something. Taken literally, the phrase could mean to actually lose one's heart from their body somehow, and could imply death.

OLD CARDIOLOGISTS never die , they just lose heart .

The given text is a pun

hom_1678

This is a pun on the phrase 'beats me' which in this context means the speaker cant figure out a reason why someone would want to be a masochist, but it's also being used because masochists enjoy pain and therefore would like to get beaten

Beats me why anyone would want to be a masochist .

The given text is a pun

hom_1677

This is a pun on the phrase 'got a litte behind in his work', which usually means that someone has lacked productivity in work, but it's also being used because the butcher backed into the grinder implying that some of his rear end (behind) got caught into the grinder and is now in the rest of his meant (work)

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work .

The given text is a pun

hom_1676

The joke is that on every hour, a clock would play a bell or chime to notify that it is the start of another hour in the day. To say somebody 'chimed in' is to say that they entered a conversation and said something.

' ' It ' s twelve noon , ' ' Tom chimed in .

The given text is a pun

hom_1670

Banks typically apply interest rates on things like loans, which is basically their way of profiting off of your loan payoffs. A conflict of interest is where two things that are involved with eachother have some type of underlying issue. It's a plan on the phrase conflict of interest, as in the two banks have different interest rates.

Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest .

The given text is a pun

hom_1666

This is a play on words. The phrase "parting words" means the things you say as you are leaving but a "parting" in someone's hair is the line running from the front or back of their head. The punchline here is that "comb and brush" are "parting words" because those objects are used to part hair to one side.

Do you have any parting words ? - How about comb and brush ?

The given text is a pun

hom_1661

When someone gets "a kick out of it", what they're saying is they find something funny. A kick is a fast swing of the leg, meant to hit something. A donkey is a hoofed mammal that can balance on two legs and still accurately kick out with the back or front feet. This joke is playing on the phrase "get a kick out of it" and its different meanings.

He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it .

The given text is a pun

hom_1655

The joke is a pun. It sounds as if the speaker is talking about medication tablets, meaning pills, but the meaning of 'tablet' being used is the stone tablets that the ten commandments were chizeled on.

For fast relief take two tablets . The ten commandments

The given text is a pun

hom_1652

A "good idea on paper" means that the idea sounded good, but when tested in real life, it was not as good as once thought. Pens are writing tools that excrete ink and are used on paper. The joke is centered on the phrase "on paper".

Erasable pens were a good idea on paper .

The given text is a pun

hom_165

The joke is a pun. A thief is someone who steals from others. In baseball, a runner standing on a base may 'steal' by running to the next base while the pitching team may not be paying close attention to them.

A baseball player was a thief . He was always trying to steal .

The given text is a pun

hom_1648

Scientists allow us to know more scientific facts about the sun, and they help us literally look at the sun without going blind.

Scientists allow us to see the sun in a different light .

The given text is a pun

hom_1647

This is a play on words. The word "circulation" refers to blood flow through the circulatory system that's essential to keep a person alive. However, library "circulation" relates to the practice of lending library books to users.

OLD LIBRARIANS never die , they just lose their circulation .

The given text is a pun

hom_1642

This is a pun on 'hearing' which in this context is used to mean the defendants court date apperance, but it's also being used since the other definition of hearing is directly related to ears

The earless defendant waived his hearing .

The given text is a pun

hom_1637

A mouse can refer to both the small rodent, or a computer mouse. Cat's are known for chasing mice, so the pun is about a cat taking lessons to learn how to grip a mouse better via computer interaction.

The cat took up computer lessons in hopes of mastering its grip on a mouse .

The given text is a pun

hom_1636

Chopper is a nickname for helicopter. Choppers can also mean teeth in slang. This joke is playing on the word choppers because of its different meanings.

OLD HELICOPTER PILOTS never die , they just lose their choppers .

The given text is a pun

hom_163

This is a pun on 'vent' which is an opening that allows air, gas, or liquid to pass out of or into a confined space, but 'vent' also means to give free expression to (a strong emotion)

In the air duct installers union they have lots of opportunity to vent .

The given text is a pun

hom_1628

This is a play on words. The man says he can stop drinking brake fluid anytime but the implication is that drinking the brake fluid allows him to stop since brake fluid is designed to help cars stop.

The man addicted to brake fluid said he could stop any time .

The given text is a pun

hom_1625

This is a pun on the word "makeup". a Makeup session" can refer to a class session that you take later because you missed it. It can also refer to the time you spend putting on makeup or cosmetics. This joke is about beauty school, where you takes classes on makeup.

If you miss a class at beauty school you ' ll need a makeup session .

The given text is a pun

hom_1622

The word bluster can mean to talk in a loud, aggressive way with little effect. Bluster can also be used to describe a storm or rain. A blustery storm is a storm that blows or beats fiercely and noisily.

As usual , the chief meteorologist blustered his way through the staff meeting .

The given text is a pun

hom_1618

An optometrist is someone who checks and advises on visual health and can prescribe glasses and contacts. In this pun, people of vision means someone who has a clear vision or direction of guidance and development, which is a helpful quality if running for president.

Have an optometrist run for president , because they are people of vision .

The given text is a pun

hom_1616

The joke is that the subject is trying to join the rambling club but the person he's talking to in order to join is rambling, or talking on and on, which ironically prevents the subject from joining the club.

I wanted to join my local rambling club , but the guy I spoke to on the phone just went on and on .

The given text is a pun

hom_1615

A mint is a place where money is made. The "make a lot of money" part can refer to the salaries that employees of a mint make, or it can refer to the actual minting of money itself. This joke is playing on the phrase "make a lot of money" because it can refer to two different things.

People who work at a mint make a lot of money .

The given text is a pun

hom_1614

This is a pun on the word "premises" as it means both beliefs (of the philosopher) and a dwelling of their retirement.

OLD PHILOSOPHERS never die , they just retire to their own premises .

The given text is a pun

hom_1608

This is a pun. A "metal dog leash" would almost certainly be made of chain links. "Chain store" is used to refer to stores which belong to a larger network of stores commonly sharing the same branding and ownership, which are all part of one chain. Therefore there are two readings at once: a store specializing in chains would indeed be more likely to have a metal dog leash in stock, and a chain store (presumably specializing in pet care) would be more likely to have a chain link dog leash in stock.

If you want a metal dog leash go to a chain store .

The given text is a pun

hom_1607

People go to hospitals when they have been hurt in an accident. The joke is referring to a musician going to the hospital. The musician played too many "accidentals". An accidental is a sign ( a sharp, or a flat) that is placed near a note. The joke is playing on the word accident.

A musician went to hospital after playing too many accidentals .

The given text is a pun

hom_1605

A screw is a metal object similar to a nail, except it has a raised spiral line around it. Installing a ceiling fan requires use of screws. A screw helps fasten pieces together. The screws for the ceiling fan would need to be screwed upwards in order to install it. The installer is "screwing up" the fan, or installing the fan into the ceiling. "Screwing up" is a saying which means messing up. This joke is playing on the word "screwing up" and its different meanings.

How could I trust the ceiling fan installer when I knew he was always screwing up .

The given text is a pun

hom_1596

"Add up" is saying. For something to "add up" means something makes sense. If something does not "add up" it means it doesn't make sense. In math, addition, or to add up numbers, means to put together two or more numbers to get their total value. The joke is in the phrase "add up" and its different meanings.

His qualifications as a math teacher didn ' t add up .

The given text is a pun

hom_1593

Quarters are coins that are worth twenty-five cents. Four quarters are worth the same as one dollar. Quarters can also mean a living space. Rental agents offer living spaces, or quarters to people. The joke is playing on the word quarters and how it relates to money and to a living space.

Rental agents offer quarters for dollars .

The given text is a pun

hom_1592

When something folds, it could mean that is failed or was unsuccessful. Blankets are typically folded to make them compact and organize them, so it's a play on the word folded in terms of a blanket factory failing.

I used to work in a blanket factory but it folded .

The given text is a pun

hom_1590

A bull that charges is a bull that runs. To charge someone can also mean to demand payment for service. So, "the bull charges" could just mean that the bull is asking for monetary payment.

Notice in a field : The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free , but the bull charges .

The given text is a pun

hom_1588

A surgeon is a doctor that helps heal people through surgery. Surgery is characterized by cutting into someone and removing something that doesn't belong, or fixing something that needs to be fixed. To make the cut means to meet a requirement. This joke is playing on the word "cut" and its different meanings.

In medical school he worried about passing as a surgeon , but he made the cut .

The given text is a pun

hom_1574

This is a pun on the word "grave". "Grave" is used to emphasize that something is very bad. A grave charge is a terrible, huge charge. The word "grave" can also mean a stone slab you put where someone has been buried. The sign is in a cemetery, and a cemetery is full of graves.

A sign at a cemetery reads , ' No Trespassing , Violators Will Face Grave Charges ' .

The given text is a pun

hom_1573

This is a pun on 'dry humor', which is known as the deliberate display of emotional neutrality or no emotion, commonly as a form of comedic delivery to contrast with the ridiculousness or absurdity of the subject matter. However it's used here in the literal sense because the desert is a very dry place

People in the desert have dry humor .

The given text is a pun

hom_1570

This is a pun on 'recovered' which means to return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength, like you'd want to recover after falling into a machine. But it's also being used because upholstry is the work of providing furniture, especially seats, with padding, springs, webbing, and fabric or leather covers. So in this case the speaker was covered in fabric

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered .

The given text is a pun

hom_157

This is a pun on the phrase 'pipe down' which commonly means to be quiet, but it's also being used because plumbers work on pipes

OLD PLUMBERS never die , they just pipe down .

The given text is a pun

hom_1567

To stride is to walk with long decisive steps in a direction. When you run a marathon, you are taking strides in the direction of the finish line. To take something in stride is to be able to go with the flow. This person is going with the flow on the marathon date change.

The date of the marathon was changed . She took it in stride .

The given text is a pun

hom_1565

A guitarist is someone that plays the guitar. A guitar is an instrument with strings. If something is wrong with a guitar string, say it's broken, then the broken string need to be unstrung and replaced with one that is functional. If someone is unstrung, they are upset or weak. The joke is saying that guitarists don't die, they just become upset, or weak. The joke is playing on the different definitions of "unstrung".

OLD GUITARISTS never die , they just become unstrung .

The given text is a pun

hom_1564

The joke is a play on the phrase 'have the floor.' Typically that phrase is used to say that a person speaking has the stage or platform to speak on. The janitor cleans the floors, and so they would always 'have the floor'.

When the janitor wanted to take up public speaking he always had the floor .

The given text is a pun

hom_1563

A rabbi is a religious leader that can often be found preaching in temples. Temples are buildings devoted to worship. Temples can also refer to the flat part of either side of the head between the forehead and the ear. Getting grey around the temples just means to be growing grey hair around the head.

OLD RABBIS never die , they just get grey around the temples .

The given text is a pun

hom_1561

The joke is a pun. The ancient ruins in Greece are known for having large stone columns or pillars. Another meaning of the word 'column' is a a vertical division of a page or text, typically in magazines or newspapers which a journalist would write for.

The journalist went to Greece to see the ancient ruins and is now writing several columns about them .

The given text is a pun

hom_1560

The phrase "to get high" means to take drugs so you experience a change in your perception of the things around you. It's meant to be an enjoyable experience. The people in the joke are a passenger and a pilot. A pilot is someone that flies an airplane. The passenger asks the pilot "how high he would get" which most likely meant "at what altitude will we be at while flying?". The pilot misunderstood the question, thinking that the passenger was referring to sense perception. The joke is playing on the different meanings of the phrase "how high".

When asked by a passenger how high he would get , the pilot replied , ' I don ' t do drugs . '

The given text is a pun

hom_156

The air force drops bombs which is an explosive device. A bombshell not only means an artillery shell, but it can also mean someone that is very attractive. Models are typically attractive people that wear or display an item in order to sell it.

The model who joined the air force was a bombshell .

The given text is a pun

hom_1559

This is a pun on 'something to count on' which measn something you can depend on. But this saying is also being used because not only are some people dependant on calculators, but you can also literally count on them

Trust your calculator . It ' s something to count on .

The given text is a pun

hom_1558

This is a pun on 'strokes' which in painters terms means a mark made by drawing a pen, pencil, or paintbrush in one direction across paper or canvas. But 'stroke' can also mean a sudden disabling attack or loss of consciousness caused by an interruption in the flow of blood to the brain, especially through thrombosis.

The painter was hospitalized due to too many strokes .

The given text is a pun

hom_1555

"Broke it off" has two meanings. It can mean to end a relationship with, and it can also mean to become physically separate. The person in this joke has a boyfriend with a wooden leg. If the person has a wooden leg, that means their real leg became detached at one point. "Broke it off" can refer to what happend to the leg, as in, she broke off her boyfriend's leg. "Broke it off" can also be directed at the relationship, as in, she ended the relationship with her boyfriend. The joke is centered around "broke it off" and how it could refer to two different things.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg , but broke it off .

The given text is a pun

hom_1549

Bowling is a sport where a player tries to knock down as many pins as they can in an alley. A strike in bowling means that all the pins were knocked down. A strike can refer to lightning, like a lightning strike, which is when a bolt of electricity gets released from the atmosphere and hits the ground.

A bowling team was called ' lightning ' because they had so many strikes .

The given text is a pun

hom_1547

Expire is a term used to explain credit cards that exceed their period of validity. Expire is another word for die. This joke is playing on the word expire because it relates to credit card terminology, and to people.

OLD CREDIT CARD USERS never die , they just expire .

The given text is a pun

hom_1545

This is a play on words. The phrase "picking up" means feeling better after a hospital stay but "picking up" refers to how vacuum cleaners (like the one the mate swallowed) are used to pick up debris.

My mate swallowed a cordless vacuum cleaner , they took him to hospital and he is picking up nicely .

The given text is a pun

hom_1543

This is a pun on 'execution' which in the terms of the electric chair means the carrying out of a sentence of death on a condemned person, but in computer terms 'execution' can also mean the performance of an instruction or program.

A computer program attached to an electric chair would have to have its execution checked carefully .

The given text is a pun