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Unsure what to Title This
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Since I stopped cu**ing I am finding other ways to self harm such as food intake, I'm used to other types of self harm, but food intake is new and it makes me feel so shitty. I think it's because it is less harmful then any of my other self harm coping mechanisms.
Any advice
| 6 |
Advice for adolescents
|
Hello! I work with adolescents who SH. It is a bit “easier” to talk those who do it because of depression or low self worth.. but when the kids do not and do not know why they are doing it, it is difficult to stop them.
One time a kid was scratching themselves aggressively and I asked if they’re anxious and what they’re thinking about. They said, “I just feel like it”. (I assume it’s just out of addiction, boredom, maybe PTSD).
Obviously nothing I say will make them magically stop, I just am not sure what to say or do. I usually make them laugh or grab ice for them to hold.
Another instance is a girl was self harming and didn’t tell me why. I knew it was because she tends to hear voices. I asked her what they’re saying and didn’t feel comfortable to say (which is fine).
Please give me any tips, advice, or what helped you all stop cutting.
| 5 |
How to hide sh scars
|
Me and my mom just got a house so now I’m scared because it’s summer so that means the pool and no sleeveless shirts so how should I cover them up without her being suspicious
| 4 |
Tattoos
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I've started getting into tattooing. I'm using it to practice art and create something perminent on my body. I really want to cover up the majority of my scars. They're mostly located on my hips
End of June will mark 8 years clean. Never cutting with a razor specificly. I worry about what my mom will think, she told me yesterday that hip tattoos are not flattering and they make you look bigger
I don't care if I look fat but for some reason she thinks that these are gross. I don't know how I will cover them as some are deep. It's not thick scar tissue but i know tattooing over them is difficult for tattoo artists. Does anyone have any advice on this?
| 6 |
Hormones
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My body is so out of wack from traveling, moving etc. I left my boyfriend to live with my mom for the summer. I'm sick right now with a cold or something and it's triggering me
| 3 |
Clean
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Trigger warning. 8 years clean at the end of this month. June 29th. I will never forget that day that I was in the bathroom crying cutting, wanting to stop but realizing I failed again
It was worse than other times. Before that I had cut into my hip bone. Like into the fat layer and touching the bone. I was like 30 lbs skinnier at that time so it really wasn't difficult to do. But it was difficult to heal or cope or hide during the summer.
| 3 |
Understanding the role of time perception in the suicidal process.
|
​
[ ](https://preview.redd.it/itqizhnsd84b1.jpg?width=1275&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd08c7b368423428802c09b4802ea38eac2c6b35)
Hello,
We are currently looking for people to participate in an online study to better understand the role of time perception in the suicidal process for a Master’s dissertation with the possibility of publication.
This study involves completing 7 short questionnaires and 1 online experiment. To participate you must:
• Be aged 18+,
• Have a good knowledge and understanding of English
We are looking for people who have the capacity to be involved in the full study. If you meet these criteria, and are interested in taking part, please follow this link for the survey and more information:
\*\*[https://chesterpsychology.fra1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_3TNWDaoGu6chFUq](https://chesterpsychology.fra1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3TNWDaoGu6chFUq)\*\*
Thank you,
Kevin
https://preview.redd.it/hatp5qe2e84b1.png?width=250&format=png&auto=webp&s=cc67ea61b502f2180bb20f73586c10f481999e84
| 3 |
I can't handle someone shouting at me, I start crying.
|
I'm from a lower middle class family (India) and have lived 20 years of my life with the learnings that I got from my parents and surroundings:
* don't shout back when someone bigger (financially mostly) than you is saying something to you (regardless what)
* to succeed in life, you've to be an engineer and get a job. You'll start with a low salary but things will be good after a few years.
* you're meant for a job, so just keep your head down and do exactly what your boss says
* never get close to the police, you'll always get in trouble.
And a lot more like this.
My parents and people around me must be saying all this because of their expereince for sure, but I don't believe in any of it. But it just got embedded in me with time.
So, I started doing exactly the opposite and things happened:
* One of my clients filed an FIR against me and I was called at the police station. Inspite of knowing the fact that there was no mistake of mine, I was shivering, crying and was numb because I feared them. But I went there, took my stand and that fear waived off. Not properly, but a lot.
* I dropped out twice from engineering and did everything and anything I needed to make sure I don't get into a 9-5 job. I'm not a graduate today but am making a lot more than the graduates out there.
* The 9-5 jobs that I did, I spoke there. Instead of listening to my boss, I put my input and worked WITH them and not FOR them.
But the fear of me being able to reply when someone shouts at me is still here.
An hour back, me and my girlfriend were walking our dogs. We take them for a walk on a government property wherein every other dog, pees and poops as well.
Today, some guy shouted from his house, "How the hell would you feel if I shit my dog in front of your house? Huh??? Stupid uncultured people!!!!"
Now, my girlfriend is bold. She is fierce and has a mindset that truly sets her apart. She doesn't take anyone's shit and is vocal about it.
I'm on the other hand, think like this: "What have I done wrong?", "They're bigger (financially) then me.", "I must have done something wrong", etc.
So, when this guy started shouting, my girlfriend gave him the reply he needed right then. Then, he started shouting even more. His daughter came out, supporting his father, saying, "What you're doing is illegal. Get the hell out."
My girlfriend got even bolder.
But I was feeling terrifed. I was thinking, "Only if I was muscular and could fight, I would've spoken. So, in case someone comes out to hit us, I'll take good care of it".
I gave a look to my girlfriend saying, "Let's leave from here"
And she said, "We're not wrong. Stay right here."
I thought, "there has to be something wrong that we did. Why would these people act like this otherwise."
In between of all that, another guy who was standing a few feets away from us and said, "Hey, Uncle! I'm a lawyer and as per the law, they're obliged to let their dogs do whatever they want on this property. On the other hand, you're not obliged to speak like that."
That's when I realized, "What am I afraid of?", "If I'm not wrong, why the hell am I so terrified?", "Why the f am I backing out?"
Then, I just stood there and stared at Uncle. Said nothing, did nothing but just stared and he went in.
That's one big step for me honestly, but I just feel like being more vocal in such moments.
I mean, it scares the hell out of me that if I had been there alone, I would've just said sorry and left.
How do I fix this? How do I fix myself?
| 5 |
How to move on from relapse
|
I relapsed after 6 months and now my brain keeps telling me I need to make the relapse "worth it". It's so stupid but i feel like i need to cause x amount of damage before i can try to get clean again. It feels so stupid. Idk why my brain works this way. I wanna be clean i know treating my body with love improves my mood. I've felt so anxious since the relapse.
Idk any help would be appreciated. How can I convince my brain to see this differently. Or just support if you can relate.
| 5 |
Is my teen self harming?
|
Today I noticed 3 scratches on my daughter's arm. They are all about the same length and on the top of her wrist. I remember seeing scratches in the exact same spot a couple of months ago. When i asked her about the scratches she said that it was because the cat scratched her. About an hour later i noticed that she had two similar scratches on her wrist. She denied it and then we got interrupted. We were at a big family celebration so there was no privacy.
I've heard of cutting, but what would cause scratches? I definitely think she's doing something to herself and it scares me. I plan on talking with her tomorrow,. I'm doing some research on the best way to go about it. Any advice on how to approach her, or what would cause the scratches?
| 8 |
How to support someone who's beginning to self harm.
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My friend has recently begun to pick up self harming as a way to cope. What are some ways I can be there for her? What are some things I should absolutely avoid doing or saying that may just make things worse or make her feel worse? I really want to nip this at the bud as she's only just started doing it and has started with less harmful methods (knocking her head into things/hitting herself with hard objects) but I fear for it developing and taking greater hold. How can I support her?
| 10 |
Why is it so difficult for people to react “normally” to SH scars
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Because I only had one interaction with someone (my dad) about my SH scars that didn’t make me feel worse and didn’t make me want to relapse immediately after. I understand it’s a heavy subject but still.
My dad only said that they were a part of me, that everyone makes mistakes and that it was okay, and to not pay too much attention to them and what others thought about it, in such a calm voice it made me realize that he was the only one who made me feel normal about it.
When my mom found out she immediately freaked out and started crying and shit, which made me feel so guilty. Even now I feel like I can’t wear short sleeves around her because she’ll take it too personally (thinking that she is a bad mom)
Even with my therapist I felt just like straight up garbage afterwards. She asked me to show them to her and she commented on how “short” and “pink” they were, and how she envisioned them to be larger.
I’ve also been told that they were too much and that I need to cover them at all costs, so that’s great as well (sarcastic)
| 9 |
My personal line of thinking when it comes to self harming as an act of self punishment. How it ties back to being overly self critical of myself.
|
I’m sure many of you can relate with being overly self critical and that playing a role in self harm so I thought I would share.
An apology is not enough, it doesn’t change what I did wrong. And planning to change one’s actions in the future is not something you can be sure of happening until the opportunity presents itself, it’s not immediate. I want to know something has been done immediately in response to my mistake. If I’m sorry is not enough and a pledge to do better in the future is also not enough what am I left with other then self punishment. When I feel guilty I want to cut. It feels better knowing there was immediate repercussions. Apologies loose meaning to the giver and the receiver. I will never stop apologizing for my mistakes and I will always vow to change and do better but that’s just not enough.
I’m not going to say this reasoning is logical, because it’s not. When I think about it it’s quite easy to poke holes in this line of thinking. It’s more of a feeling then a sound reasoning. These thoughts are intrinsically tied to guilt, self hate, and shame. I really do want to stop self harming but I more so struggle with wanting to stop being overly critical of myself because that feels engrained in my very being. It’s what I though makes me who I am, and is what I thought people admired about me. Although, I think it’s becoming apparent self harm is not going anywhere if I don’t address my self criticism and need to self punish.
| 8 |
Helpp
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Okay I have a scar and I think it's infected idk any medical stuff. I search Google but I don't knowww. I'm trying ta keep dis a secret so like help?
| 5 |
475 days!!
| null | 25 |
Does this count? Is it something to be worried about?
|
Please read the whole thing
I hurt my gums because I think it feels sooo fucking good, and I like stabbing them and poking them and making them bleed. Shoving stuff in between my teeth to make my gums twinge.
I know it sounds extreme but I've been doing this since before I can remember. Kindergarten, first, second, third grade. All the way until now.
It's not out of self remorse, or punishment, or to numb any feelings or anything like that. I just think it feels amazing.
Recently I've been concerned because multiple people told me that hurting yourself is still sh no matter the motive behind it.
Thoughts?
| 3 |
Troll alert
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Hey guys so just wanted to let you all know that we are having a slight troll problem. The mod team is handling it but what's been happening is one person is constantly posting vulgar posts/comments, then when they are banned they spam the mods with even more vulgar threats and messages and then go on to create a new account and do it all over again. We are keeping on top of it as best we can (we have families/jobs outside of reddit) but if you see something just report it and we'll get to it asap. You can also ban the troll's account so you dont see anything they post. Thank you and stay safe.
| 14 |
I suspected my daughter was self harming
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I (33f) suspected my daughter (13) was self harming.
My daughter is going through a lot at the moment. Her bio dad has been inconsistently in her life up until 2 years ago. Hes struggling with meth addiction and has completely fallen off the radar. I know that he's still alive because I've seen him around town occasionally. He's barely recognisable.
Two weeks ago her close friend attempted to OD at school camp. He's now in the mental health ward at our local children's hospital. She had been seeing a school counselor but stopped a couple months ago, saying she didn't feel heard. I offered to seek help privately, which she turned down but after what happened at camp, thankfully, she agreed.
I saw her scars by accident a couple of days later and have been mulling it over on the best way to bring it up.
I relate to what she's going through, my bio dad was also absent, and I also practiced SH at her age. I'm trying to think of what my younger self needed to feel loved,supported and safe, but I never trusted my mum enough to open up because I didn't want to scare or worry her and I was afraid of how she'd react.
The following is what I said to my daughter as we drove home from her first counseling session, I guess I'm looking for advice on what I can be doing better, she's my whole heart and I always wanted to protect her from the hurt I experienced as a kid. I'm trying to support her but I have a lot of healing to do myself.
I've made sure to stock our first aid kit with plenty of antiseptic powder, ointments, bandages and sterile wipes.
If you read all the way through, I appreciate you. I know it's a novel.
"Hey baby, I noticed you have some scars on your legs. I don't want you to feel called out or like you're in trouble because your feelings are completely valid. I have been there, and i hurt myself when I was around your age too, so I'm not frightened by what you're doing and I won't judge you. I just need you to know I love you and you're safe and if you need to talk, maybe just come over and say, shall we go for a drive? Or hang out, or run errands. It can be our code. It doesn't have to be serious or a big deal, and I'll just listen. And if you're not ready to talk, that's cool too we can just get out of the house for a bit together. I love you and I'm on your team, always"
| 5 |
What does this mark/scar look like to u?
| null | 3 |
I want to stop, but also don’t…
|
TW I want to stop self harming, but at the same time, nothing else makes me feel better but I know that it’s wrong. But, I feel like I’m addicted to the feeling sometimes, instead of just feeling like I deserve to be in pain and doing it to cope. I just feel so lost with myself… What can I do?
| 6 |
Content Warning: Self-harm. Research Study - Why do people have thoughts of self-harm? (UK, 16 to 25)
|
Thoughts and urges to self-harm are increasingly common. We are interested in finding out what causes people to experience these thoughts to help better our understanding of this and help professionals better support those who experience this.
You can take part if you are:
* aged 16 to 25,
* live in the UK,
* and have had thoughts or urges to self-harm in the last 6 months
If you are interested in taking part in an anonymous, multiple-choice online survey to help research to better understand self-harm, you can find out more here: [https://tinyurl.com/LancsSurvey](https://tinyurl.com/LancsSurvey)
​
https://preview.redd.it/9x5hpuocw72b1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=5320961185d8db1753cdb11308d570dac0dbbf24
| 1 |
Lowkey never wanted to relapse so badly
| null | 21 |
I really need to stop before it gets bad
|
I’ve been doing small things that don’t really leave a trace for a long time. If my parents found out it would be so much worse for everyone. Recently things have been getting worse, and I’ve started risking it and doing more severe things. I have a friend who is helping me, and they said not to do it because it’ll become an addiction, but I feel like it already has. Every time I get home from anywhere, I look forward to it. It doesn’t even hurt that much so I just want to keep doing it. It’s really an issue and it’s become something I enjoy. If anyone has advice on how to stop, or at least reduce it, please help.
| 3 |
FIVE. HUNDRED. DAYS!
| null | 67 |
My old habits are creeping back in.
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For many years, I stopped hurting myself physically. I was able to stop the long term slow torture kind of self-harm too. I recently suffered a very traumatic loss and it has been a painful and difficult way back to just being alive and understanding I need to stay this way.
The thing is, I’m finding that I’m hurting myself again. Just not consistently. It seems to happen when I’m very upset about something or I’m in an intense exchange of some sort. I always end up with the ability to inflict pain on myself physically. Yesterday, I dropped a glowing hot coil on myself and instead of just getting it off asap, I felt a momentary anger that I’ve never felt before and I dug in deeper until the pain snapped me out of it.
I I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid to tell anyone. I don’t even know why. I can’t even tell how deep it goes, or if even my inaction is caused my the same hatred that’s taking over slowly.
| 3 |
2 (almost 3) weeks clean!!
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On Tuesday, I'll have been 3 weeks clean! I don't even know how or why I'm doing it, but I'm doing it!
| 9 |
sh TW
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is it just me or when you cut i feel like not enough blood is leaving my body so just have to keep cutting.
| 8 |
Visual self harm
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Any ideas for excuses for the scars? Two people on this planet know I self harm and I’m safe with that because they don’t pester me about each one’s meaning nor do they audibly judge me by their sight. They just make sure I care for them after an episode so I don’t get infected.. in a way it’s a form of release and I have noticed that I cut less since they found out my “black secret.” But it hasn’t solved the issue and I know it’s within myself, issues festering and exploding in that release of endorphins moment. I know the next step is to confess their meanings, each one has served a purpose , but I can’t seem to reach that step so I circle back like toilet bowl water into the deadly cycle. I think fear is a big one, of being judged and misunderstood that my scars are suicidal and not for what they truly represent, survival. I’ve also hidden and thrown out both of my knife sets but have to keep one in kitchen .. and I’ve made the effort to find and use it no matter how fucked up I am which always scares me that I would go through such lengths just to feel and see that I’m alive, and do bleed… i guess this isn’t a question but rather an attempt to either justify or explain my addiction to myself. One day, and I can’t wait for it, I will overcome it all… like I said , I’ve run clean out of excuses (cat, horse work, burns from the kitchen etc) for superficial inquiries but also personal concern from family that I don’t want to bother or inconvenience or confess to… stemming from childhood trauma , such as a proud parent living in blissful ignorance or a protective sibling who doesn’t understand the depth of the darkness I am currently wrestling inside. And I’m also carrying guilt for even having such trauma as my
Parents did the very best they could and it’s not on them , so I don’t want to show them how far I’ve fallen… which explains
Partially why I’m so determined to hide them and look for natural excuses for my visible slashes … also carrying the guilt of disappointing the faith k was raised in, that I know I am not worthy of the perfect sacrifice or to be saved.. even tho I read it and search it endlessly in the Bible, Jesus forgiving the prostitution and the thieves on the cross … self diagnosis won’t be much help as it will still defend myself in naive thoughts with the purpose of protecting myself from uprooting past pain..
.
| 3 |
A little update for y'all, I'm... proud
| null | 30 |
I still have not cut
|
I've been wanting to cut myself for some years now and I still haven't done it. I feel great about not doing it. However I still have the thoughts about the subject that haven't gone away. I have a few triggers; one's stronger than the other. Lately I've been thinking about overcoming the one that's the least strong. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't cut myself when I decided to overcome this. I talked about that in my previous post here. As for the strongest trigger, I can't go near it 'cause I know that will set me off.
| 6 |
Nothing seems to help
|
I have no idea what i should do to feel better i am just so so so tired and exhausted i need to do something be involved in something idk absolutely anything i feel like i have a head block or smth idk
| 3 |
How do u accept scars and how long til u do?
| null | 12 |
Does this look like self harm bite mark scar?
| null | 11 |
One month!!!
|
So, I got up to one month. Took some time, since I relapsed a couple of times, but here we are!
Things seem to be ok, hopefully, I didn't just jinx myself- I'm still going to therapy, still taking meds, and finely made some friends (that I'm gonna lose after high school since they're extremely homophobic and I'm extremely gay), I'm still fighting my anxiety and some of OCD intrusive thoughts are gone while others still remain. Those that are still here are usually related to hurting myself in some way so you can see how it can be a problem when wanting to stay clean...
BUT! I got three "sh blockers", as I like to call them. I basically treat myself as a "robot", I need to find ways to cheat my brain. Like meds are the oil that makes my brain made of gears work better.
So, the main the ‘‘sh blockers‘‘ are:
1. Every milestone, (one week, one month...) I get to write here. I don‘t really have any friends that I can trust with this, and my parents aren‘t the best for this topic (they‘re not bad parents, it‘s just they don‘t understand sh, OCD, anxiety, and maladaptive daydreaming so whenever we do talk about mental health they get confused, I get annoyed saying the same shit over and over again, they say some unintentionally mean/hurtful stuff, I get offended, they get mad, I get mad and BAM! A fight…). So writing here makes me feel good. I treat writing here and on the app IamSober as a way of telling a friend I made it through another storm!
2. Since I have scars, one day, I want to cover them with a tattoo. But I don't want to rush it. However, I did make a discovery: altho there are times when I want to hurt myself because I'm sad/angry/whatever, there are times I wanna do it as part of OCD repeating an action. Like a ritual before sleep kinda thing. One of the ways that I cope with this is by drawing on myself. I found out that, for whatever reason, my brain doesn't want to sh OVER drawings. Like, my OCD really went: "Well, we were gonna cut, but now that there are some badly drawn flowers we can't!". So, I got those fake tattoos! Now I have something constantly on my thigh preventing me from OCD sh, I feel pretty, the scars are covered and I get to experiment with what kind of tattoos I want when I get a real one! And, even tho scars are pretty much healed, I googled it and it says that in order to get a tattoo over scars, they need to be 6 months or even a year old. Now, I don't know or care if that's true or not, I'll just let the Paciblo effect do its thing and make/trick myself into thinking I need to wait for all that time so I can get a tattoo thus staying clean! Prevents me from relapsing AND rushing a tattoo I might regret. Just doing some mental gymnastics y'know\~
3. I have this small jar, like, a little finger small. In it, every week that I stay clean, I put a plastic butterfly! When the week is ending, I put a little candy on top of the jar as a little reward. So I currently have 4 butterflies! My therapist said I should increase the days like one butterfly is 7 days, then the second is 8 more days clean, and so on, but I still count every 7 days, it's easier to keep track of. I have special metallic purple butterflies in my ‘‘med kit‘‘ (a small medication box where I keep my meds, instructions on how/when to take them, side effects and possible signs of OD, some bandaids, that I‘ve drawn on, if I do end up relapsing and because I‘m really clumsy and a card with my therapist's phone number). Those are special butterflies. I made an order in which I put butterflies into the jar, and those ones are for when I‘m reaching a year clean. So basically I put a bunch of stuff in my med kit that will mentally scream ‘‘don‘t do it, look at how far you came!‘‘.
So yeah, one month! Four more and I'll be back where I was in January before I relapsed-
| 4 |
idk
|
I feel overstimulated again, i dont wanna do it i cant i am tired i have worked so hard i cant keep relapsing
| 1 |
thank you. thank you. thank you.
|
I just found this sub and am so glad I did! It is so nice to be able to speak freely about what I do and why I do it without fear of someone panicking and thinking I'm crazy and need immediate institutional or other radical help. And it's nice to see the diversity in what we all do so I don't feel like an absolute freak and crazy person. Seriously thank you for helping me feel less crazy! Thank you all for sharing, I genuinely love you. 💙
| 12 |
How long have you been harming?
|
I started hitting in 2015.
| 9 |
i regret ever self harming
|
i only ever self harmed once but it’s left me with pretty noticeable scars on my arms and thighs. it’s getting hot now and i want to be able to wear whatever i want but i cant or at least not without ppl staring or questioning. i have to hide it from my parents bc ik that it would break their hearts. i have to hide it at work bc i work with kids and i don’t want co workers or parents making assumptions about me. i recently went on a trip to Hawaii with my parents and i really felt the repercussions of my actions. i couldn’t wear any cute bathing suits, just a sun shirt and long swim bottoms. i couldn’t wear any short sleeve tops or short bottoms so the only tan i got was on my face and neck while the rest of my body is pale. summer is on its way and i’m just asking myself, how long can i keep this up? i live in california so it gets pretty hot. i have two choices, wear long sleeves in the heat and suffer physically or wear whatever and have my scars be perceived by others and suffer mentally. it’s such a shame that i did this to myself. i was under the assumption that i wouldn’t scar or at least that the scars wouldn’t last as long as they have but boy was i wrong. i probably have to live the rest of my life with these. as if i didn’t have enough to worry about before.
| 15 |
Couldn't do it
|
Messed up a few hours ago. I broke something at work, and I think it was my tipping point. I've been slacking off at work, and I've been called out on it, and then I couldn't stop my hatred.
I feel crazy. I feel like theres people always watching me, with hidden cameras, seeing everything I do. My audience hates me, I can feel them chanting all sorts of mean things my way. And they go "cut yourself bitch, we love it when you do. Its what you deserve, you don't deserve anything good, not when you're so disgusting"
I've been ignoring their demands, but I just couldn't anymore. Its too hard and overwhelming and I just wanna do something right, make SOMEONE happy
| 5 |
can someone understand where im coming from?
|
hi, im not gonna say anything about myself but i just want to know if anyone else can relate or if i should be concerned
this topic is about self harm so TW i guess
so i self harm, but recently i haven’t been doing it because i feel sad, or angry or anything like that. i kinda enjoy doing it. or i just do it because i want to? i dont know i just dont do it based off emotion anymore.
can someone level with me?
| 11 |
Building Self Harm App (BrighterDays)
|
Hi everyone!
I am currently in the process of developing a self harm tracker app. What are some features you all want incorporated? I plan on releasing simultaneously on iOS and Android, as I noticed certain apps like HarmLess do not have an Android version.
I also plan on implementing an AI driven virtual “pet” that can follow along and offer encouragement as you navigate the app (do breathing exercises with you, lay around as you play the bubble wrap game, etc.) in future updates.
I can also focus on building a LARGE guided meditation library if that is something you all want!
Any thoughts, comments, suggestions would be appreciated! Now is the time!
Thanks!
| 21 |
I made progress
|
I just needed to tell someone that today I have felt shit and depressed but I didn’t cut.
And I’m proud of myself, which is hard for me to say.
So yeah, progress
| 16 |
I feel like my scars are not enough, and it really makes me question being clean
|
Since the past 2-3 months I had been harming myself very rarely but I have started keeping track of my progress. I have been completely clean for 7 days. I used to find loopholes by not actually harming myself but scraping old scabs. But since the past 7 days that happened only once and I am fully committed to not indulging in any form of self harm anymore.
I think that for me, being clean isn't the hard part, rather wanting to be clean (if that makes sense). I was indulged in self harm for almost a year but I have pretty less scars and some of them are even fading. My scars only cover a small area of my wrist and my upper arm (the ones on my arm are pretty visible tho). Apart from that, multiple small scars are scattered all over my body.
I think that being clean isn't that hard for me so i sorta want to inflict more damage before becoming totally clean, yk. like I feel that my experience isn't valid enough or that I deserve more proof of me hating myself at one point.
Although I will try to stay clean to the best of my will power, I'm just scared that one moment of weakness will erase all that. The scarier part is a little part of me wants that to happen.
Please give some advice!!
| 6 |
Sometimes i think i will do it
|
I am so close to it, why? Why do i feel so terrible, most of things i feel this because of, are my mistakes, i cant do this anymore my last straw would be my grades, if things dont go as planned i will stop i cant do this anymore I am tired I wanna stop
| 2 |
Difficult relationship
|
Me and my friend don't talk much anymore and I'm scared he doesn't love me I'm not sure how to talk to him more bc we live far away and I'm bad at conversation and I want to talk about it with him so I know he still cares but I can't think of a way to do it other than "do you hate me" but that's manipulative and not what i mean. "Are we still best friends" slipping into the background of his life sounds like the worst when I love him so much I just want to be close. I'm sorry. Just how do I bring it up how do I talk to him about my concerns
| 1 |
changing your space
|
Ok...I have an odd question. I usually sh in my room and now it's become a trigger for me. I just associate a lot of bad memories with my room. But it's also my only safe place. I want to change it up yet I haven't fully stopped sh...so maybe there's no point. Does anyone else feel like this or have any ideas?
| 6 |
Almost 5 days clean
|
In less than an hour I will be 5 days clean. I was sh because of my husband that I will definitely 100% be divorcing asap when I can afford to. I don’t really want to stop cutting but I want to stop hurting my boyfriend (please don’t judge me, it’s a long and complicated story which I won’t go into here but I now realise my husband has been grooming me, manipulating and abusing me since I met him when I was 17, I’m now 43, and my new boyfriend is being really supportive to me and helping me to get away). I promised my bf I would stop sh. I’m ok at the moment because I’m not at home this weekend. It will be hard when I go home on Monday. I think even harder because I’m trying to stop for someone else. I need to want to stop for myself. Hopefully that will come in time. Sorry, not really a lot of point in this post! 😐
| 6 |
Getting rid of old self harm scars
|
I have recently become committed to try to get rid of my self harm scars above my stomach. They’re hypertrophic and they are a few years old. I’ll detail a few of the routine options I’ve tried:
1- Silicone scar sheets 24 hrs a day ONLY (haven’t tried this yet)
2- Silicone scar sheets during day + Mederma Advanced Scar Gel at night with medical grade silicone gel on top (this was my first routine)
3- Mederma Advanced Scar Gel with silicone gel on top twice a day + Mederma Quick Dry Oil throughout the day (new routine)
I really would love some feedback on which might have better results because I switch from #2 to #3 only because I felt like sticking to one TYPE of product (as in ointments) might do better than trying to do a combination of scar sheets and ointments. However, I’m just worried doing only silicone scar sheets can’t possibly do as good as the other combinations of stuff.
Again, I would absolutely love some input on what routine might work best. Thank you!
| 7 |
Summer is coming, sadly. How to hide the wrist scars?
|
How do I hide my wrist scars in my household from my parents? I know ya'll say "Just wear long sleeves clothing" ,BUT, that would be hella suspicious to my parents.
Is there a LOGICAL way to hide them the whole summer while wearing t-shirts.
Your help would help me a lot. Thank you in advance!
| 11 |
Fuck alevels
|
My biology paper was so terrible and I keep relapsing especially ever since my exams started, I genuinely dont know who to talk to because I cant i just cant its a boundary i dont wanna cross, a friend of mine knows i am in induged in self harm and the way i act around him has drastically changed i hate that, i dont like being sentimental/attached and whiny to anyone, it feels pathetic, i just dk what to do I genuinely feel like i will never escape this bs, i have a friend or two m fine w idc about being expressive infront of them but it bothers me when i am that way to others and ik its not in my advantage either to be that way infront of most people
| 6 |
1 year clean!
| null | 20 |
Self-Harming Because of OCD
|
I've had OCD related self-harming issues for about a year now and I was wondering if anybody else suffers from the same issue. How do you cope with it?
| 8 |
This is my (healthier) way to safely unburden this weight.
|
This is my way to safely unburden this weight.
Life can really eat at you sometimes. Especially when mentally ill. Illness we don't ask for but have to deal with. My illness's are genetic and induced by a violent, manipulative upbringing when living with my mom.
This week, I've skipped a funeral that I really needed to attend. My friends death is weighing on me heavy. I got the privilege to help with home care for her, 9 years ago. Her disease progressed because of lack of care on her and her husband's part. She went into better care. Divorced. And this angered me. It took 9 years to go see her. She died within a few months. She was in the same facility as my grandpa. I took care of both. I knew the last time I saw my grandfather and told my father. He got one more visit with him. I stayed home because I knew my dad needed it. I once woke around the same time my cousin died. I knew before the call came. I feel stalked by death. Almost like he's my best friend.
This week I tried to trust in a friend. But some things that were "coincidence" had got me to feel too much of the wrong love. I can't break down to someone with that kind of secret. It'll come out. Then it hurts more. The fallout. So I spoke, hoping she would remember that I have said I always focus on friendship. That feelings are good. It gets us to treat each other better. I got scared when a quick reaction showed it was viewed as me trying to be more. I tried to save the friendship, in a panic mode and put my foot in my mouth.
I'm walking away from her, and another. Her friend. Because I need to be heard. Especially on my illness's. I'm the one who deals with it most. We both fighting for my life to be lived. But I had to fight both my own illness and your inability to hear me say, opening up while alone is not a good thing.
See Ive been going through a lot. I'm fighting a want to feel myself physically burned. Illness right.
What I needed was a friend. Someone that would care and realize, hey it's the kilted weirdo, maybe this isn't what it seems. Shit it's in my fucking name.
I am that person who looks sad as you pass them by, wishing someone would stop and talk.
I am that person you bully.
I am that person you think is less than you, because life handed me something different.
I am the judged, the forsaken, the unloved, the heathen, the one who uses reason to be kind, while you don't even look back to remind yourself.
I have no want or will to see another suffer. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna accept being treated as less than.
Today, I said I had the time and love to put myself first, even with the regrets of broke promises I made. The loss of which makes my head hang low. More struggle to overcome.
If you've gotten used to seeing my face but you kept walking on by, this might be goodbye. Because we as humans deserve better. It's how we break the generational curses. By loving each other through the pain.
So I will no longer reach out to those who don't answer. I won't choose to extend a hand repeatedly hoping it gets caught. But I won't be one of those who passes you on by. If I do, holler, I got time. Because nothing is more important than how we treat each other.
Today I choose to love all of us. I also choose to see those that don't care, and be weary.
Free books and beats:
[https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1KsifxU7k3caLVeCsYEI\_y-8ZgNF2N0xB?usp=share\_link](https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1KsifxU7k3caLVeCsYEI_y-8ZgNF2N0xB?usp=share_link)
| 3 |
My period makes me want to relapse (TW suicide)
|
I hate it so much. I’m in so much pain, severly tired and my mental health is going full roundhouse kick. Worst pms is just severe suicidal thoughts and heavy urges to relapse cus “its better than suicide”. Not once have I fallen of the tracks in the days leading up to the great massacre, and once its there I feel so horrible the urges get even worse. I push people away, question my relationship and friendships, my choice in career, everything. Recovery would be so much easier without my fucking hormone levels dropping to 0 once my uterus decides to do a vampire buffet
| 17 |
Relapse
|
I recently cut myself after 7 months and reopned all the progress I had made. I want to hurt myself every moment of the day and frequently try to find a way where I can sneak away to do so. If it wasn't for my relationships however, I wouldn't even be looking for help. But if I hurt myself again, I will lose both the men I love. Life isn't making it any easier either though. My husband is on the verge of a suicide watch himself and my boyfriend is currently out with another woman and my baby that died, her birthday was yesterday. I don't know how to not just fall into the urge of creating my own pain and not deal with the hurt I already feel
| 4 |
clean but triggered
|
I've been clean for 5 years now but I've been wanting to sh so bad recently and stuff online isn't helping, only making it worse. The hate from people in certain subs, the terrible news about all the bigoted disrespect in the world, the verbal abuse online, it all makes me want to disappear. I know exactly where I want to cut and I keep picturing it. How can I stop feeling this way? It hasn't been this bad in a few years, I don't remember how the fuck I dealt with this horrible feeling
| 7 |
christians and self-harm
|
I am new to this group. I was wondering if there are any Christians here? I am feeling so alone
| 11 |
Replacement for sh?
|
This week I had a significant medical scare due to sh, and it forced me to come to terms with sh and its effects.
Every time I have tried to stop in the past I end up relapsing because I don’t know what to replace it with.
Any ideas?
For context I sh for 3 specific reasons: emotional release, trying to feel stuff when dissociated, and punishment.
💙
| 1 |
Is it normal to want to do it when happy
|
I'm like really happy right now, I'm not feeling upset or depressed at all, but for some reason I have an urge to sh, I barely ever do it and I know I shouldn't, I'm just curious as to why I'm having this urge. I don't usually have this strong of an urge.
I feel like it would make me happier, (I know it won't, and I'm not going to do it) but this is kind of freaking me out.
| 9 |
5 yrs free
|
Tw religion
I struggled with self harm on and off since I was 10, I stopped self harming 5 years ago after one of my worst cuts I had to get a lot of stitches for. A psychiatrist in the psych ward after that told me I must find something to live for or I would die. This triggered something in me, somehow it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I had been exploring Judaism for a while when he said that I knew becoming Jewish would save my life. I threw out all my self harm tools when I got home from the hospital after I read that it’s not allowed in Judaism to self harm and pursued an orthodox conversion to Judaism which I completed 3 years ago. I still struggle from depression but I am a lot happier now than I used to be as I really did find something to live for. I still miss self harming sometimes but I have kept myself from doing it except for one relapse 4 yrs ago. But I don’t really count that because it didn’t go too far, I count from the 5 years date (February 2018) Absolutely none since then. I also struggled with repetitive suicide attempts and have not done this since then. I am working part time when before I couldn’t work at all due to mental health, and have friends and a supportive religious community and am happier than I ever have been
| 4 |
Do the scars go away
|
I used to self harm. I used a paper/cardboard cutter on my thigh. Its been around 2-3 months and the scar is still there. Will it disappear?
| 6 |
I made a promise to myself
|
I'm currently trying to work on an issue on my own. This is something that could trigger me as well. I made a promise that I wouldn't hurt myself after I overcame it. Hopefully I can keep that promise when I feel better about myself. Because I feel like dealing with something that causes such strong emotions would cause me to start hurting myself.
| 4 |
My family caught me now my life is even more of a hell than it was
|
Trigger warning please don't read if you're easilt triggered but anything related to self distructive behaviour, narcissistic people, trauma of any kind just move forward with caution ⚠️
Also ps sorry for any typos or any grammatical mistakes also this is a throwaway acc.
So a few days ago maybe a week ago or something i went back to self harming after stopping for a long time. It was the first time i seriously injured myself using a tool. However i was still pretty timid so i didn't cut any vains just a surface level cut howver there were many of them all over my arm. I don't necessarily remember them being that much when i was doing it however when i did them i was quite calm unlike my usual self when i did anything like that yet i can't remember it properly i just remembering choosing what I'm using and switching between them when it was dull or wouldn't cut easily.
Idk what exactly triggered it but before hand however i was upset at one of my siblings who usually yells at me for yelling at me and not stopping even when i was trying to be calm and kept asking for them to stop yelling and why they are yelling at me to begin with when all i was doing was vent to them about something unrelated to them. They kept yelling and called me some horrible things so i just walked away. That same day i had an important presentation and was already extremely stressed. And to add the cherry on top the presentation was horrible and we even got yelled at by our professor even after staying day and night working on it.
During that same period of time I'd completely shut off from my family which tends to happen once i feel unheard or after getting the crap yelled at me for nothing. Anyways no one cared to ask what's wrong or if i wanted to vent they all got pissy that i wouldn't look at them or talk to them like i used to (I'm pretty talkative). Then i got yelled at yet again by another sibling then by my parent because of it. What "it" is? It's being a jumpy person and flinching every time i hear a sudden noise or not notice someone coming into a room or not notice them behind me. However i got also yelled at because i usually wear headphones and they claimed it was because of it that i flinch. And that me flinching is annoying them and making them upset. But that's all bullshit since I've always been like this sonce i was a kid and even without headphones i still jump and in uni and by literally anyone. Not to mention the headphones i have are literally cheap shit and have absolutely no noise cancelling feature what so ever and i usually can clearly hear everything being said with them on.
_____ Fast forward to today i got cocky and forgot to wear my jacket a few times but since no one said anything i was thankful and went to my room and just layed in bed not wearing it. Comes in on of my siblings and asks me to show her my arm when i refused she threated to call my dad who i knew they were going to call anyways. Anyhow i ended up hoping that i was wrong and showed them my arm which they ended up yelling at me and asking what they are. It felt like a power play to me when they could clearly tell what they are and still wanted me to say it. I started shutting down and my dad came and started showting aswell they did this thing where they all gathered in the living room and started integrating me while frowing like i just killed a puppy.
They kept asking why i did it and i just looked away and stone walled them and kept saying it was uni stress. They called me alot of hurtful things and then my dad ripped my headphones (i wasn't listening to anything i just usually feel safe and warm with them on) then kept threatening me and kept guilt tripping me about having to get loans to put me through uni and how other people don't have parents and how he could die and how can i do something like this to them and that i was basically a piece of shit for putting them throught this. He kept saying he was going through enough and that I'm going to kill him and my sibmings sayig that they were in a harder major than me and were also stressed but didn't do anything like this which i couldn't help but say congrats you're stronger than me.
They kept yapping and blabbering and was just tryign to hide my arm behind a pillow which got ripped off of me a few times. I was so stresses that i scratched all my wounds which led to more bleeding than when i even cut them which i was more scraed they'd see so i started wiping the blood away with my hands. I kept silently crying while they did this.
Then my father got up and was going to throw a glass cup at me which i surprisingly didn't even flich at then he started slapping him self and saying that he failed as a parent for raising someone like me and how come i trun out like this when he was "just thamking me to my sister for beingcheerfuk the other day" he then was running around frantically and saying he's going to kill himself cause he failed in life and how if i was like this then he shouldn't be alive since he clearly can do nothing right and both my siblings ran to him crying their eyes out trying to hold him so he can sit down.
I was also accused of having a "secret boyfriend" and being a "slut" which i laughed at because i literally don't go out of the house except for uni cause otherwise I'd get interrogated or yelled at or both. I also struggle making friends or going out or asking my dad to go out due to previous trauma he caused me.
My siblings then went to talk to one of my siblings that lives abroad cause he's a psychiatrist i then heard then balling their eyes out and being loud about it which felt odd to me since I'm the one who should be crying i just dk why they would act like i killed their grandma or something.
Anyways i was left alone with my dad who still kept asking me why i did it amoungst other things like blaming my phone or the videos i watch (he doesn't know what i even watch he only once saw me watching a i think korean youtuber who lives in the US and kept saying that korean series and stuff will brain wash me and shit which he tends to do with anything i watch like i even once almost got slapped and got yelled at a ton and also made to sit the same way as today when all i did was listen to a religious talk which is the same religion as my father's even who is also "religious" just cause idek why i was getting yelled at for.).
Anyways i got yelled at again cause i was offered therapy a while back which i refused cause i my abroad sibling would be paying for it but i hate anyone paying for my shit since they always use it over my head.
Anyhow my siblings started talking like they know facts and saying shit like this is because i bottled up my past trauma and stuff and they "suddenly" surfaced up and that's why i did and claiming that the wounds are old when they literally arent and stuff like that which i didn't bother correcting cause when i tried they told me i was lying and that it wasnt true as if i don't know this shit and they know it.
Also i they yelled at me for not talking to them and that they didn't know shit about me (literally just for the few weeks i blocked them off) and they were crying while saying that and calling me basically an ass for it. When they themselved don't like listening to me talk and tell me multiple times to stop rambling or tell me to cut things short which i fail to do (since i tend to trail off and on the topic which maight be an adhd thing but imnot diagnosed so don't take my word for it). Along with that they also don't tell me anything going on in their lives even when i ask and brought it up to them alot to no avail they just say "oh i just don't remember things" when they talk in the phone for hourssss and that same scenario had literally just happened the day before with one of them. So it basiclly just felt hypothetical to me ngl.
__________ moving on they called my dad after talking to my psychiatrist sibling and then he came back and started hugging me and talking softly and shit and still asking why i did it which idk how to describe it other than it felt like i wasn't the only one memtally ill here. He then started reciting religious things to me like i was possessed. And kept saying that he just wants me to open up to him and to talk to him without asking me to, and that i don't tell him what happens in uni which is why is out of the loop and i should talk to him more.
But he's a narcissist (quoted by a therapist one of my siblings when to before) so whenever i actually say something that upsets me he makes me out to be the bad guy all the time or yells at me or tells me that what i did is wrong and how he would never do something like that or the like.
He also kept telling me that uni isn't worth me doing this and that he's always supporetd me and "never" pressured me and that grades dont matter even i got yelled at for ranking anything below first since i don't get a big discount for the semester after (whenever i rank below the first my dad usually goes to my uni to check the ranks and he's usually the one to tell me so i never get to be happy and always cry after cause he either scolds me or tells me to do better or just tones it to me like someone had died.)
Even i was was one of the top 10 people each semester and when i was once the 1st he compared me to the people below me and scolded me for it. He also yells at me alot if i get anything below 90 and 90 to him is still crap. He also yells at me when i need money for anything uni related (i don't really bother asking for money otherwise and just make do with what i have) and keeps complaing about money and how I'm stripping him out of it and stuff like that all the time sincd i was little when he chose to stop working long ago which seems to me like a him problem but anyways.
Also I'm in a major that has a big subjective part to it and getting a high grade is not that common.
I was allowed back to my room to work then one of my siblings came and acted like nothing happened and was about to yell at me for not speaking to her and when i asked to be left alone they said no and that they'd never let me be alone and after a while of me arguing and then saying I'll leave in a while they left and then my other sibling came and wouldn't even respond to me asking to be left alone since i can't work with someone in the room so i texted the psychiatrist sibling to make them leave since they'd listen to them. We argued for a while and then saying that i should keep the door open and shit which brought back some other trawmatic things that were like this back then but they then agreed and the sibling in my room keept crying while they were sitting like ffs i why are they the ones crying.
Anyways they then started to check on me every now and then ig to make sure i haven't killed myself yet and talked to me like I'm holding a gun to my head. Being so nice and all which is funny how people treat you when you're unwell when I'd cost nothing to just be nice even if you're doing fine. It just felt a whole lot of walkign contadictions.
Anyways one of my siblings texted that I'd be starting theraly in a few days which I'm not too fond of the idea since therapists here tell on what happens inside and what you told them and also it's the same therapist my slibling uses which even unintentionally would lead to bias or comparisions. Also i still would be the one paying for it (I'm broke and not allowed to work while on uni a minimum wage job as a cultural thing) also i feel all my boundies being violated since for example being forced to hug dad when i don't like physical touch or them not leaving me be alone or other things thank god i wasn't asked to hand in my phone for a search which happened before when i was younger for diffrent reasons.
Please also note that i cant go live alone like people 18 and above do in the US for example for 2 reasons one i have no money and you can't easily rent and finish uni with a minimum wage job. 2 it's a cultural thing and i can't just run away and cut them off either.
Also my family dad specifically tends to tell anyone and everyone about every single thing that happens so I'm sure now they'll all be telling people and people who meet me will think I'm a crazy person
Anyways if i just needed to let some of that out my fingers hurt so I'll stop typing now thanks to anyone if anyone decides to read this monstrosity of a post. Stay safe everyone!
Update: they now go after me to the bathroom to search in yhe trash and see if there is any blood really making me hate my life even more like how is their behaviour making it any better when they are over my head 24/7
| 16 |
I beat the strongest urge I've had since my last relapse over 200 days ago
|
Last night I had a huge trigger which left me having the worst relapse urges I've had since my last big relapse over 200 days ago. Normally I would've given in. I was holding myself back from just doing it and already planning what I'd use, where I'd do it, how I'd clean it, treat it and hide it. I was fully prepared and felt like I had no reason not to but I fought against it which I never used to do with urges this bad. I took my rescue medication, used my harm reduction techniques and managed to avoid a relapse.
With how huge the trigger was I'm really surprised at myself for managing to fight against it but I did. Another win for recovery and another loss for the addiction. Keep going everyone, one step at a time!
| 19 |
Self-harm
|
Is it normal to do physical harm to oneself if emotional pain is unbearably making me feel numb? I just want to feel pain in those episodes. I can't afford a therapist.
| 4 |
It's been 49 days (I think?)
|
Recently I've been spiraling downhill mentally, but I'm doing good keeping the bad thoughts down. Proud of myself! Thanks for your time :)
| 18 |
Would it be harmful to show my scars around my family?
|
I (16) very recently told my parents about my self harm, theyre the only people ive told so far but we often visit my siblings in different states so id like to be truthful about my sh with them as well. The problem is that both my siblings are adults with children ranging from a new born to 13 years old. Ive never heard of a parents telling their kids about self harm without being prompted so i dont want to force my siblings to have that conversation with their kids when not totally necessary. If i tell them and ask if theyd like me to keep my scars hidden around their kids even if the answer is yes theyll likely not say that and ive put them in a bad situation where they have to expose their children to self harm. (None of my scars are fresh, the newest and largest ones are 7+ months old but are very noticeable and still pink.)
also sorry idk if this is the right community to ask this in but this is apart of my journey to being clean from sh so i thought others might have experienced this as well
| 10 |
thoughts on “showing off” fresh sh irl?
|
alright so, this happened a while ago but just dawned on me that it could have been bad so im asking you guys! When my sh was really bad, it was very noticeable and it was summer at the time so i wore jackets everywhere, one day im at the mall trying on jeans and i took my coat off in the changing room, my mom busts in and sees my arm and tells me to stop playing with the cat, during keeping my coat on they were getting irritated, very red, itchy and moist so needless to say i was looking for a reason to take off the coat, i did after she saw them and had my very fresh (like hours before hand fresh) sh out, a couple people looked at me weird but otherwise no one really cared. So should i have suffered the deep pain of wearing the jacket (/s) or was i in the right by taking it off?
| 5 |
self help groups
|
hi, I was curious if anybody had any information on how to join in anonymous group for s/h. I have tried to message online groups that I’ve seen but they don’t seem to respond when I ask for a link for the zoom meeting. I have been struggling a lot recently, and I really do feel like a support group would be good for me and I just don’t know where to begin. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
| 3 |
Re-Opening Wounds?
|
Is this considered SH? Am I the only one who does this? I'm too scared to create the wounds myself so I just wait until I get a scar or bruise of some sort on accident and then I re-open the wound. It feels good and most of the scars I get I try to re-open since making the initial wound myself is too daunting.
| 11 |
Is all Sh considered... Sh?
|
Ok, this is really hard to explain and ask, but what's the "criteria" for Sh?
Generally, Sh is to purposely harm yourself, whether it be to get out anger, or you feel like you deserve it, or you need the dopamine rush or whatever. It's considered to be bad, right?
My question is, is it still considered bad if you do it not for any of those reasons? If you do it just because you can, or you don't know why you do it?
| 14 |
Help to make children- teen stop SH
|
Hi this is a work related question.
I have had an internship where I worked with middle schoolers at the school and club. And I want to work with that age then I get a job.
( I have an education as an pedagog assistant I’m gonna short it down to PE and is now studying to become a pedagog so I can work with kids that age) after I was done with my PE I got a job working with kindergarten but i still visit my old internship. Where I had a talk with one of the kids age 12 about how they there feeling and stuff. I found out that they where SH I did my best to talk about it them and recommend other things than SH etc and afterwards I of course told my old colleagues about the talk. Im a former SH myself and have been clean for a year. So I had an understanding for child and could advice from my experience with it.
But it don’t think I did a good job with it.
So my question to the people in here is either of you are young or old maybe have children or worked with children. What advice would you give or what would have /had helped get clean Etc.
I’m just looking to learn more from real people and not just books about it.
So I can better help children in the future who do SH.
Thanks in advance!
Sorry if it is confusing and bad grammar.
| 7 |
TW: mention of relapse, self harm mention. anyone have scars noticed by a doctor? if so, what happened?
|
I was almost 8 years sh clean, but I relapsed a few months ago. I’m working towards being a month clean, but I’m freaking out because I have to get an full body check by a dermatologist.
I tried to reschedule but they didn’t have any openings until October and I’m supposed to go once a year.
I’m an adult so I don’t know what they could realistically do? The marks aren’t super prominent, but are visible if you look closely.
Has this happened to anyone else?
| 13 |
Should I go to a hospital?
|
I know that this question is probably asked a lot but I'm asking for myself anyway.
Sorry if there's weird formatting I'm on mobile.
TLDR( I have been SH on and off for about 3 years, I have been stabbing deeper and don't know how to keep myself from doing so.)
So about a 2 or 3 years ago I began to SH and have hade times where I have been able to stop for a bit (the longest was probably about 6 months) I have gone to a hospital twice before but never stayed for more than 24 hours. Both times when I went it wasn't because the wounds were deep, and I went voluntarily. Recently I have had another relaps after about 3 or 4 months, there is a part of me that feels as though I will never be free of this and that I deserve the pain. I want to stop as I know it not healthy but I'm having a hard time with it.
The main reason why I have not gone to a hospital this time and why I never stayed longer than 24 hours last time is because I'm worried about failing college. I also don't know how useful staying longer would be, I need advice.
Has anyone had success stoping because of staying at a hospital? how long was helpful? Is there better methods for getting clean?
| 4 |
On a post about a kid showing their self harm to OP... this is disgusting behavior.
| null | 35 |
Anyone else “misses” their self harm?
|
I’ve only been clean for 8 days now, so I’m not really sure if it’s normal to feel that way. They could also just be urges, and my brain coming up with a different term for it to make me feel better about it.
I trew away all my blades, so I cannot even do it even if i wanted to
| 17 |
How do you communicate
|
How do you communicate with people about needing things from them emotionally. My friend doesn't really ask me how I'm doing or anything and it would mean a lot but he doesn't and we don't see eachother often so I'm not sure if he still likes me and I need validation or I feel like everyone hates me. He's autistic so I understand that it's hard to be emotionally intimate with autism so I'm not sure how to respect his needs while bringing up mine
| 1 |
App to help quit (Calm Harm)
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I found this app called Calm Harm, and it helps you quit by giving you activities you can do instead. My favorite has been to draw flowers in places where I want to cut or where I have scars. It also let’s you keep a streak of the days you’ve been clean.
Quitting is hard and I still relapse, but I have found this app to be helpful in the past, so hopefully it can help some of you as well! :)
| 17 |
should i be embarrassed?
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most of the stuff on here that i see has to do w cutting, but they are so many diff ways 2 self harm. i have always noticed that cutting is what stereotypically is thought about, especially when people who don’t self harm talk abt it. i have even had friends ask me why i didn’t just cut myself. i burned my entire arm, sustained a pretty bad infection that i was able to resolve, but now that it’s healing, i see this absolutely massive, hideous monstrosity of a scar and it makes me so ashamed. i want to burn right over it and now that it’s getting really warm out, i don’t know how to hide it. anything long sleeve makes me too hot and i end up panicking. how do others deal with this? i don’t know how to handle the questions such as “omg! what happened are you okay? that’s horrible!” from strangers simply because they don’t recognize the cause like they do with cutting scars. i can’t handle the questions, it simply makes me worse and i hate myself so much for doing it and i’m so lost and don’t know what to do/ how to hide it.
also, i’m going to my parents this weekend and if they find out, they will kill me and they live in phoenix where it’s like 80+ degrees rn.
| 11 |
The girl who was “perfect”.
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She went to school, happy. She hung out with her friends. But when she went home, she went to her room. She got yelled at by her mom, and got treated like shit by her brother. She locked herself in the bathroom and sat on the floor for a minute. Called herself “ugly” “useless” “annoying” she went off on herself. She took her phone case off and she took out her blade. She turned on the shower. She cut and cut and eventually, she washed her blood away in the shower. She felt burning on her hips and she said to herself “The burn hurts…but i deserve it.” She did this every night. Then the next day she was acted happy at school, and with her friends, She giggled laughed and gossiped and then walked home. She then said while walking “I don’t want to be yelled at again…” she went home locked herself in her room and cried again. Tears flooded her face. She says “Why can’t I be normal?” She took her pants down and cut. She cut and cut and when she was done she used a peice of toilet paper to cover the blood. She was always sad, but she had to stay for her friends. She didn’t care much about family. It was all her friends that kept her living. She loved her friends, but she couldn’t handle the home life. She is now a beautiful angel, looking down and her friends.
| 11 |
My 6th grader is self harming
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Hey yall. I’m pretty positive my 12 year old daughter is self harming. I (28f) had problems with cutting also in my life, but I have no idea what to do. Ive made attempts to let her know she can talk to me about anything, i even told her that I struggled with hurting myself when I was young. My mom did too, and when she was in this same situation with me, basically said “i just realized it was dumb and I stopped” which wasn’t helpful then or now. My daughter is having some friend issues, she opened up more about them when I had started talking to her about the cuts (her little sister told me about them first) but it seem like the normal jr high drama. I try to valid all of her feelings, make sure she feels heard and seen and loved. Idk. Im at a loss. I dont know how to help her.
| 22 |
My partner seem to be in an odd spot
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Good Day,
I was wondering if I could get some advice on how to be helpful to my partner. they say strategies don't help much or at all and they can hold the feeling to sh for days, weeks or possibly longer. (am I wrong for thinking that it is not normal to hold on to the feeling). they have hit a pont and they sh for the addiction factor. they do seek professional help but it's not helpful.
I'm sorry it is like a cluster f of words we have hit a brick wall on professional help around us and research online.
Glowing Regards,
Ham
(Edit) thank you all of your guidance on this topic and I will be as support as possible with this journey.
Thank you all,
Ham
edit again. I helped her has much as I could and we saw improvement but she left me for a different person and he is not good for her long term. that's besides the point I'm still helping her on her even if we're not together.
and yes I still look here to remember the kind words of you all and thank you I hope this finds you all in good health
| 2 |
TW- ive been clean from sh for close to a year
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its strange because i just realised i haven’t sh in yonks n im genuinely quite proud of myself!
i still have thoughts about it n urges but its not something i turn to anymore which im super happy about.
i know that in the future it could happen again, but im so proud that i made it this far
| 15 |
Characterizations of Self-Harm Research Survey
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Hello— I am an undergraduate psychology student at UC San Diego doing a research study on the nature and characterization of self-harm. We are hoping to understand the relationship between people’s characterization of their self-harm and their behavior. If you are an adult living in the US who currently engages in, or have ever previously engaged in, self-injurious behavior, we would really appreciate your responses to a brief, approximately 15 minute survey (linked below). Your responses will be completely anonymous. Thank you!
https://ucsd.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_eLkVoJqH4Y5Y5HU
| 7 |
"Aesthetic Self-Harm."
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I consider selfharm (cuts) to be AESTHETIC, which may even cause me to snap and make the cut again. I don't have a single scar on me although I would like to do so.
How do I get rid of the attitude that it is supposedly aesthetic?
| 0 |
I'd be clean 5 weeks tomorrow!! tw:cutting
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I had a lot of trouble thru this but the truth is I won't self harm anymore, there have been really bad days in this past month but I resisted the urges, more or less cried and had breakdowns but I did not touch the blades, i have promised my friend that I wont do it, and she has all my blades and has helped me thru the times, i think i can finally move out of this, hope yall can too.
| 15 |
i will be 4 weeks clean tomorrow :)
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tomorrow i will reach 4 weeks clean of self harm. it feels crazy, this addiction has held me for so long and i finally have taken action and have been getting help and taking care of myself. i just needed someone to hear, someone to know that tomorrow, i will be 4 weeks clean! and if you're browsing, and haven't been able to keep a streak going: you've got this, i know you will! something that helped me overcome something that i thought overcame me is, it only makes me worse, it only makes me feel worse. in order to get better, you have to want to get better. that's so important, try to keep your mindset positive, you've got this!! and so do i!!!
| 5 |
Moving out
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I am almost 2 months clean which is great but I’m moving out on my own for the summer and I need help thinking of ways to stay clean when you won’t have constant help fighting urges. If you have any suggestions on getting through intense urges on your own.
| 4 |
I think I have to change my goals
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A while ago I had the realization that it was 2023 now, not 2022. Which meant that I technically didn't relapse at all this year. And it gave me the motivation to go the whole year clean. I'd only been clean a whole year once (relapsed days after celebrating). Other than that it was always me relapsing every few months.
I thought since I did it once I could do it again easily but honestly it all feels too daunting. I just can't help thinking that if I let myself slip up now, then the urges will calm down for a few months and it won't bother me.
I hate having to go back to "stay clean for 1 week" goals. I moved past the stage years ago, I should be over this by now
| 12 |
advice for other options besides sh
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litterally take a small paint brush and red water colors and put very little water in it and do the place you want to do it on. i found it so helpful to do and its so satisfying
| 13 |
i’m happier but i still miss the familiar almost comforting depression
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i used to sh regularly for a about a month last year and then once a month but each relapse got worse and worse and i was just breaking down mentally and i tried to killmyself via od in may (but luckily survived but no one ever found out) and then june i relapsed but stayed clean untill about august and i kept relapsing every month i got on ssris and i’m almost clean five months and i’m happier but for some reason i still look back and miss it not sh but who i was even though i had a drinking and sh problem and i was involved in really awful friendships and i was horribly depressed and i’m happier i still miss the familiar almost comforting depression
| 16 |
Happiness Is Within Reach: A Guide To Cultivating Positive Emotions
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Have you ever felt like happiness was out of reach? That no matter how hard you try, it’s always just beyond your grasp. You’re not alone. Many people struggle to find and maintain a sense of joy in their lives. But don’t despair; there are plenty of strategies you can use to cultivate positive emotions.
In this article, we’ll explore the science behind cultivating lasting contentment and offer tips on ways to promote more joy in your life. From mindfulness practice to simple changes in perspective, learn how you can start feeling happier today!
Happiness isn’t something that’s simply handed to us – but with the right approach, it is absolutely within our power to build a life filled with more joy and satisfaction. So let’s get started: Happiness is within reach — read on to discover how!
[https://beautyaal.com/positive-mind-positive-life-a-guide-to-cultivating-happiness/](https://beautyaal.com/positive-mind-positive-life-a-guide-to-cultivating-happiness/)
| 1 |
Can't open up to parents
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Can't open up to parents about self harm due to issues connecting to others and emotional unavailability. I don't like feeling weak or insane. However I want to get better what do I do
| 8 |
Obsession causes urges
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I'm borderline obsessed w my best friend and often sh because I don't see him much (we live far and go to different schools) the thought of him losing interest in me is literally terrifying. Words of encouragement from him can make me feel completely overjoyed and even the slightest negative thing can tear me apart. He's not manipulating me it's not toxicity on his part I just miss him a lot and I'm scared he's losing interest in me I don't want to lose a friend. Plus he sh too and helps me through it and I only go to him for my problems I don't do it often bc I don't want to fuck up his recovery but he makes me feel very seen and very connected because of the sh I'm scared I'm too attached bc of the trauma bond. Has anybody have a similar experience? how do u cope? I'm 8 days clean ATM
| 3 |
Struggling not to relapse
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5 months clear of self harm.
I’m really struggling. My therapist is on maternity leave (I’m not comfortable emailing her as it’s not something I’ve ever done/she’s not really ever established that kind of out of session contact) and I don’t really have any friends I feel comfortable talking to.
I feel so alone. I’m having one of those periods where I can’t be happy about anything in my life, and I just want to cut so much. But I know if I do it won’t make anything better. I just want to not hurt as much inside.
I’m not sure what the point of this post is, I think I just needed to say it out loud. Thanks!
| 11 |
How can I get rid of this scar?
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It’s almost the length of my hand, one part is healed already…I can’t hide it…
Im new to Reddit and hope this is the right group to post in.
| 23 |
Urges seem so much easier when you're not actively having them
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I tend to forget how difficult they are in the moment. "How did I ever relapse in the past? That seems so silly", and then you have urges and remember "oh thats why".
This is getting ridiculous. I shouldve been done with this crap years ago. Im pretty sure im pissing off my best friend. I keep saying the wrong things, stupid things. I dont even wanna talk to them about this because they might just become more annoyed with my antics. I dont feel like a good person or a good friend
| 11 |
i dont know
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why is self harm so competitive? people just compare and compare and never actually help one another cope. i dont understand why people think its a flex to have a worser arm then others. it g/ confuses me and its so stupid. i also hate when my scars fade away. it makes me miss them more.
| 6 |
i want them gone
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most are over 6 months old but the two larger red ones on my upper right andeft leg itch like hell. it's gotten to the point of breaking skin on accident while itching. they're constantly uncomfortable and even hurt at times even when im not doing anything. ive tried lotions and scar creams and they just burn and are generally uncomfortable. most visible scars were beans/styro and im worried they'll never heal. is there any way to get rid of them without surgery and should i see a doctor about the itching and pain/discomfort? they also turn purple when im cold and taki colored when it's hot out. they're pretty deep into the skin and i just want them gone. please help i don't know where else to go.
| 9 |
I need reasons to stop.
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I have relapsed and I can't think of any reason to stop. And the biggest problem is i cant stop. I'm not ganna OD or anything like that, so what's the problem?I know it's stupid but what are some reasons yall have stoped. I feel stupid posting this but when someone askes I just say that I don't know.
I don't care about the scars, I have a ton of scars in my body already, and I don't cut so it just looks Normal.
| 5 |
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