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what coin doubles in value when half is deducted?
half dollar
I'm big, i'm comfortable, but most of all i'm oh, so lazy. i have two arms, but only one foot. what am i?
lazy boy recliner
a mile from end to end, yet as close to you as a friend. a precious commodity, freely given. seen on the dead and on the living. found on the rich, poor, short and tall, but shared among children most of all.
simple smile
as I went across the bridge, i met a man with a load of wood which was neither straight nor crooked. how is this possible?
it was sawdust
what is lighter than a feather and not even the strongest man in the world can carry it
easy your breath
as cold as stone yet hardest yetyoufind me whereyouhere I dowhat am, i?
diamon ring
if i tell you " bg ", what am i saying?
begood
what type of shoes do spies wear?
sneakers
you can have me but cannot hold me; gain me and quickly lose me. if treated with care i can be great, and if betrayed i will break. what am i?
trust
what is the only word that is spelled wrong in the dictionary?
wrong
when it was young, it had a tail. when it grew up, it had knees.
frog
I am green, sticky, and salty. what am i?
buger
in your fire you hear me scream, creaking and whining, yet i am dead before you lay me in your heart what am i?
log
what does the " w " in " yes " mean?
wife
there was a plane crash every single person died but there were two survivors how is this possible?
they were married
before it. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
mt everest
i am the opposite of the something big but i am not the shiny moon i am similar to lark but thats not a word you cannot touch me nor feel but i somtimes makeyouscared what am i?
dark
when i go to the beach. i am found. when i go in the water i am smooth. what am i.
sand
journey's mother only had 3 children, april, june, and.?
april june johney
two words, my answer is only two words. to keep me, you must give me.
your word
how canyoumake times go fast
by spining it
I will dance, i will sing, but i do not have life. how am i?
answer t v
what kind of jokes do vegetables like?
corny jokes
what do you call a penguin in the desert?
lost
one man goes to visit another man in prison. when he come to the guard house the guard says " only family to be let in. who are you. " the man replies " brothers and sisters i have none, but this mans father is my fathers son. "
father of man in prison
what question can one never give a'yes'to?
are you dead
I can be found on a human or beast all people should have one at least I can be any shape or any size and my history you'll despise what am i?
scar
you throw away the outside you cook the inside then you eat the inside and you throw away the outside
i dunno
what do you call a nazi soldier with a runny nose?
snotzi
when i dry i get wet. what am i?
sponge
duels of good and evil, a fighter of good and i, revealed beside watched words, king of the black night sky. what am i?
dark
the more there is the less you see. what is it?
fog
why can't a woman, who is now living in cannabis, not be buried in the usa?
because she is still alive
there once was a girl who was sitting in her house one day and looked up and saw a hole in the ceiling. she then heard foot ~ steps from the ceiling. she saw a shadow, big and bold. who was the shadow?
her father
if the man said there was 40 more sweets in the shop why did 80 people come in for the sweets?
because 40 people stole them
how many animals did moose take on board?
none it was noahs ark
I am skinny and i am decapitated and he is always trying to get in front of me! ( he always is ) who am i?
lowercase i
I am as light as a feather, big as an elephant, but weighs nothing. what am i?
elephants shadow
a man named Pete and a man named repeat where in a boat they fell out who was left
repeat then repat the question
superman is flying at 100km / h. if superman flew for 10 and 1 quarter hours how far has he flown?
17 083333 minutes
I am the thing that makes oboes, clarinets, and saxaphones play what am i?
reed
I have no fangs, yet i constantly bite. i have no scales, yet i slither through you. what am i?
venom
what kind of can never needs a can opener to open?
toilet
I saw a boat, it had lots of people on it but not a single person
cus they were all married
brothers and sisters I do not have, but that mans father is my fathers son. who is that - man?
thatman is your son
in olden days, the student of logic was given this problem: if half of 5 were 3, what would one - third of 10 be?
it would be 4
what is a rappers favorite candy?
eminems
I go up and down - but never move i go from place to place - but you cant see me i can affect the lives of people - but they cant affect me i am on television every day what am i?
temperature
lots of people love me, but those that do usually hate me. people often avoid, they want me destroyed, but never forget that i'm always enjoyed. who am i?
fat
there was an airplane circling around the border of Canada and america. the airplane made a sudden crash right on the border. half of the people landed on parade and half landed in america. where do you bury the survivors?
no where theyre alive
two twins were born on the same day by the same mother the both live one side of a hill they never met they'll never will meet. what are they.
there ears
where on earth do the ways always blow from the south?
northpole
what is black and white and has wheels?
zebrwearing roller skates
he has a genie to thank for the fact that he married a princess
aladdin
if you put a blue coloured wood in a green coloured water. what will happen?
it will become wet
what has feet and legs, and nothing else?
stockings
what do you have if you have " skills "?
skills
I'm white, and used for cutting and grinding. when i'm damaged, humans usually remove me or fill me. for most animals i am a useful tool. what can i?
tooth
what did one can say to anyone during the fancy banquet?
use the forks
what is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?
temperature
what has 4 wheels, two trucks. and one deck, and is used to skateboards?
skateboard
I have four legs and sometimes two arms. all of my people have the same basic shape but we come in many sizes and colors. what am i?
chair
you are a bus driver. at the first stopyoudrop off 10 kids. thenyoupick up 7 kids and drop off 2. in the next two stops 4 kids are dropped off and 7 are picked up. what is the bus driver's name?
ur own name
what word has four " o " s in it?
kookoo
I am dumb, and know many languages, i am deaf, but still spoken to and i connect loved ones. what am i
cellfone
there was a man who lives in a ( title ) and on the 13th floor. he goes to work every day and he hates the stairs. when it is raining he goes to the 13th floor; when it is sunny he goes to the 8th floor and takes the stairs. why is that?
he is short
you walked one day down the street. you found something that was worth something. you made sure you didn't lose it. it has color, size and shape. everyone of them is different. you enjoy it a lot. you like it and you count it over and over. what can i?
vending machinesi am money
what is often returned but is never borrowed?
thanks
the more they are the lesser you see?
ants
ryan wuz bragging about his school's hockey team " in the last game, we managed to win without one man getting a goal ". since the final score was 3 to 1, how is this possible?
it wuz a gurlz team
what is the easiest way to keep water from running?
dont pay the bill
how many animals of each gender did moose take aboard the shark?
non noah did
teddy bears are never hungry because they are always what?
stuffed
a man and his wife get stuck in the middle of no were in their car the man goes looking for help but when he comes back his wife is dead and there is a pool of blood as the woman is not alone and the doors and windows were locked how did she die.
she gave birth
what goes up and down and never moves?
temperature
what table has no legs?
times tables
it has rib bones and back bones. it swallows human beings whole, then spits them out alive.
house
if you are an american in the living room than what are you in the bathroom?
eurapean
ripped from my ancestors home, beaten and burned, i become a bloodthirsty killer what am i?
ironore
if you eat something that you can find outside and you won't die from it. what is it?
answer is a snowflake
where do cows go to get drinks
farmacy
what do rich people have that can be changed into the law
wealth
a man but an animal, a horn with two hands. what am i?
minotaur
what does this mean? pot oooooooo
potatoes pot8os potatoes
what has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive?
a glove
what's held in a case, takes flight and spirals through the air, but never moves?
staircase
what is the tree that we all carry in our hands?
palm
my voice rises above the din, sometimes catching all unaware. I never ask questions, yet get many answers.
doorbell
what do you get when you dial 1234 1234 1234 56785678567800000?
big blister on your finger
what is greater than god, worse than the devil, the blind see it, people who can see can't see it, the rich need it, the poor have it. what is it?
nothing n_n
my bottom is very large, my top is small, and I have ears.
mountaineers
I am a guy brothers and sisters i have none but the picture on the wall is the son of my fathers son. who is it?
my son
you are in bonds. how doyouget out?
ur not in vons
how do you start an insect race?
one two flea go
it is a gate but we not pass through it?
colgate
when it is alive we sing, when it is dead we clap our hands. what is it?
birthday candles
can you guess my name?
rumplestilskin
what is a duck's favorite snack?
quackers
black within, red without, with four corners, round about.
chiminey
which kind of nuts are the softest nuts?
donuts