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a grandmother, mother, and two daughters go to the shoe store and they each buy a pair of new shoes. but when they leave the store there is only three pairs of shoes in the bag. why?
grandmother is a mother too
what does a cat have that other animals do not have?
kittens
a plane crashes on the border of Canada and the u. s. a where doyoubury the survivors.
why would you bury survivors
I'm between 1 and 1000. i'm a three digit number. i have a five in me. i'm almost half of 1000 what number am i?
is under 500 495
what has a bank, but no money.
river bank
what fruit do you find in the sea?
currents
how do cats cut their grasses?
with a lawn meower
you can see me, but your friends have no idea if there. what am i?
your thoughts
a captain of the sea over hears his crew saying to his parrot, " we'll dump him to navy ones locker as soon as we tell the captain. heres a cracker policy. " the captain, misunderstanding, barges into his crew room, but finds an advertisement for navy ones locker _ _ _ _ _ shop. fill in the blank
pet shop
what's invisible, something discovered and never been touched by human hands?
nothingits nothing
some can be stupid some can be good some can be challenging and some can be impossible what is it? hint * look at the title look where it says
riddles
what do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf?
frostbite
18 = h. on a g. c.
18holes on a golf course
what paper makes you itch?
sratch paper
what do you go in through one hole, come out through three holes, when you're inside it you're about to go outside, and when you're outside you're still in it?
sweatshirt
proof that half of twelve is seven and half of thirteen is eight.
roman numerals
a cool treat you can eat in the summer?
i scream
what can climb mountains, cross streams, handle hundreds of feet each day, yet never moves?
trail
what did the baseball glove say to the baseball?
catch ya later
imagine your a bus driver, on the first stop you pick up 25 people at the first stop, on the second stop you pick up 30 people and drop of 15, on the last stop you pick up 62 people and drop of 36. whats the bus drivers name?
ha your the bus driver
what does the 1st magnet says to the 2nd magnet?
you are attractive
what does " yr " stand for?
yeahright
with potent, flowery words speak i, of something common, vulgar, dry; I weave webs of pedantic prose, in effort to befuddle those, who think a while time away, in lofty things, above all day the common kind that linger where nomadic beings live and fare; practical I may not be, but life, it seems, is full of me!
riddler or riddle
at night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen. what is it?
dreams and stars
I am a lightbulb. someone flicks the switch. i usually turn on, but i didn't this time. the person checks the outlet, and i am plugged in all the way. why didn't i turn on.
i burned out
soft as a metal that falls form a tree. the more I dry the wetter i'll be. what am i?: ): )
bath towel
find four numbers, the sum of which is 45, so that if 2 is added to the first number, 2 is subtracted from the second number, the third number is multiplied by 2 and the fourth number is divided by 2, then the four numbers so produced are all the same. what are the four numbers?
8 2 10
what is firm but soft, shows emotion, but doesn't exist to the ones that hurt you.
your feelings
what question can you never say yes to you must always say no?
are you asleep
with thieves in consort, with the vilest, in short, I'm quite at ease in depravity; yet all divines use me, and servants can't lose me, for I am the center of gravity
v
him was examining an angle measuring 14 and 1 / 2 degrees, using his magnifying glass that magnifies everything two times. under the glass, how large would that angle measure?
14 and 12 degrees
what type of cat can also be a type of weed?
dandylion
although my name suggests, i am not a dairy product. i am always drunk but neither wine, beer or spirits have a drunk; my life begins without wings, but later i turn to flight. what am i?
butterfly
where does a vampire put his money?
in a blood band
the ones in the sea are prickly, but the ones on the street might pickpocket you
urchin
there is a creature of god whose body is hard; it does not wish to eat unless you strike its head
chisel god was carpenter
there's a place in the world where the wind blows south then suddenly north. where is it?
south pole
i turn polar bears white and i will make you cry. i make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. i make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities. i turn pancakes brown and make your champagne bubble. if you squeeze me, i'll pop. if you look at me, you'll pop. what am i?
dna
this animal is bigger than the biggest whale, faster than the fastest cheetah, stronger than the greatest king song and more dangerous than the most dangerous dinosaur. what animal is it?
this animal
I can kill people, but without me there would be no people. i was born long ago and will someday die. i can cause fire and am a magician with water. i have more brothers than any person. there is very little that can stop me. what am i?
celestial body
you are halfway there and halfway gone. where are you?
in the middled
through me you see through things. what am i?
xray machine
what goes all around a hockey rink but never moves?
boards
what is the best way to raise strawberries?
with a spoon
what's worse than training cats and dogs?
hailing taxis
you are stuck in a room, all the windows are padlocked and made out of titanium. the walls are made of brick and the floor is cement. the room contains a nuclear bomb, if used will kill you. a jack hammer and a gun with one shot. how do you get out?
you use the door
I am larger in daytime, and smaller at nighttime. what am i? note: there is only one correct answer.
cats eye
what has four eyes and runs south?
mississippi river
what has jerry curls, is overweight, has thunder thighs and likes to rub chicken patties all over his salty nips?
nathaniel littles
what did the flow say to the other flower?
cool shoes robot
a man is late for an appointment and, in his haste, takes a corner so fast that only two wheels were on the pavement. a police man is standing on the corner, but he did not give him a ticket. why?
he was on a motorcycle
I heard of an invading, vanquishing army sweeping across the land, liquid - quick; conquering everything, quelling resistance. with it came darkness, dimming the light. humans hid in their houses, while outside spears pierced, shattering stone walls. unaccountable soldiers smashed into the ground, but each elicited life as he died; when the army had vanished, advancing northward, the land was green and growing, refreshed.
rainstorm
what is the thing which, once poured out, cannot be gathered again?
rain or rainfall
without a ping pong ball in a tube how do you get out without blowing it out?
pee in the tube
you come home, climb the stairs, turn out the lights and go to bed. in the morning, you wake up, look out the window and commit suicide. what is your profession?
lighthouse keeper with a conscience
if a pink house is pink, a yellow house yellow, a purple house purple, what colors a green house
its clear
this is a sign that you are going to come to an end in your life.
dead end sign
which is the biggest jam in the world
traffic jam
I am easy to get into but hard to get out of. what am i?
trouble
what am I doing if I " split "?
leave
babys never use it, older people have to use it and some people can't use it. what is it?
restroom
what does the " l " in " call " stand for?
laughing
read one way, I am under great strain; but read the other way, I am sweet and pleasing.
desserts
which question can you never say yes 2
are you asleep
only one color, but not one size, stuck at the bottoms, yet easily flies, present in sun but not in rain, doing no harm, and feeling no pain.
a shadow
the maker doesn't need me, the buyer doesn't use me, and my user doesn't see me. what am i?
cofin
mr. ones and his son, david, were driving down the busy freeway. they crashed with another car. my jones died and david was rushed to the hospital. david needed an operation. the surgeon came in and truthfully stated, " i cannot operate on this boy, for he is my son. " how could this be?
surgen was davids mother
a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. instead, the bartender draws a gun and points it at the man. after a few seconds, the man thanks the bartender and happily walks away. what happened?
man had hiccups
what is horribly ugly, repulsive, and can kill you?
mirrior oh burn
when you are wrong im not right when your turn left i go right i know what your feeling i know when you been bad i may have no arms but i carry just as much as you can what am i?
your brain
what has legs but can't walk?
chair or table
what belongs to you but you cant see it is always ahead of you but you cant flee it?
your future
I'm named after nothing, though i'm awfully glamorous. and when i'm not working, your house is less glamorous. what am i?
vacuum cleaner
what is more amazing than a talking dog?
speling bee
I have 21 years but cannot see. what am i?
dice 12345621
your lying in your bed then you close your eyes when you open your eyes you are chained up and and hanged up side down about to plunge into the ocean with a cement attached to your feet you cant move at all! how do you get out
you wake up
how many men were born last year?
none only babies were born
it can be used onstage or to express admiration what is it?
props
one by one we come to life and side by side we wait, while our company swells in number some come early some come late. some will bore you, some entirely, but you can not choose between us, you must take us one and all, because we're bound together tightly and we're taught if we break free; if you want some clues about us simply answer who are we?
chapters
here. there are some words here. can you find it?
can you find it
the 5 of us together are quite the odd sort, but you will find us all in a tennis court?
vowels a tennis court
I block out the sunlight, i'm quite long and wide and i also get pushed and pulled nearly everyday. what am i?
im curtains
a hundred feet in the air, but it's back is on the ground. what is it?
centipede flipped over
there are three houses a white one, a red one, and a blue one. the red one is on the left and the blue one is on the left. where is the white house?
in washington d c
little nanny etticoat, in a white petticoat, and a red nose; the longer she stands, the shorter she grows. what is she?
she is a candle
how many animals did moose take on his work?
nonenoah build the ark
what can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never sleeps, has a bed but never sleeps?
water a river
a team won one to zero but not one man crossed homeplate. how is this possible.
it was a women
I have four legs but no tail. usually i am heard only at night. what am i?
frog
how the cat meets the dog on the other side of the road?
because they where parnetrs
what can you always serve but never eat?
tennis ball
whats ugly men and screams all day
your teacher
how come 50 men stand under an umbrella without getting wet?
beacause its not raining
how do you spell that backwards?
cat backwards
if you have 3 apples and you take 2 away, how many do you have?
2 you took them remember
I get paid to shoot people, then blow them up. what am i?
photographer
I was going to mcdonalds i saw a man he said he had 9, 999, 999, 999, 999 cats. and those cats had10 kits with out passing 10, 000, 000, 000, 000. how many people went to mcdonalds.
answer is simply one
although i'm far from the point, i don't make mistakes, i fix yours. what can i?
eraser on a pencil
many lose wealth at the sound of my name, and my coat is the color of fire and flame. i am crime, i fight crime, by wing i take flight, but i fly by day, and my partner by night. who am i?
why robin of course
what driver never gets arrested?
screw driver