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7,000 |
You know why I do what I do...
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7,001 |
Have an upvote for trying. We appreciate the effort.
|
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7,002 |
> ohhhh genitals, what are you doing here!\n\nThe number of times i have had to say this.
|
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|
7,003 |
Don't laugh, it's a real problem that affects thousands of planes every year.
|
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7,004 |
what the fuck? Has she never looked up?!
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7,005 |
Unfortunately, given their current lineup of programs, they'll be more likely broadcasting shows about paranormal events in pawn shops
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|
7,006 |
"IOU one shiny ring!"
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|
7,007 |
That would've also been a crime
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7,008 |
Let this be known henceforth as the "Lesbian Porn Paradox".
|
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|
7,009 |
Turns out the entire class got their papers from Reddit.
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|
7,010 |
Better use a Nokia. Don't want her getting up any time soon.
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|
7,011 |
These kids are the exact sort of people that the real Che would have literally shot on sight.
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|
7,012 |
Based on my Roller Coaster Tycoon experience, I'd say I'm qualified to run said amusement park. I'll be expecting your call.
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|
7,013 |
nope. both beard and soul were mortally offended. beard integrity prevailed. found a beard loving female that night though. you win some, you beard some.
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|
7,014 |
Drawings of Purr Box and Elephant (which should totally be a cartoon on Nickelodeon).\n\nPurr Box - https://imgur.com/dmw2khT\n\nElephant - https://imgur.com/c0ylOUk
|
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|
7,015 |
Nervous boner\n\nPower boner \n\nExcitement boner \n\nRegular boner\n\nBi curious boner \n\nWeird boner \n\nSexy dream boner \n\nJust have to pee boner \n\nMemory boner \n\n*fear boner...*\n\nEdit: thank you for the gold boner \n
|
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|
7,016 |
"George Bush does not care about black people." - George W. Bush
|
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|
7,017 |
If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks *one* dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker. -- Abraham Lincoln
|
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|
7,018 |
I work at Papa Johns and I've never heard of this. Enjoy your local deal.
|
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|
7,019 |
This is disturbingly genius. Surely she suspects the script is the same? \n\nedit: accidental ~~alliteration~~ sibilance ahaha!
|
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|
7,020 |
Two words: poon tang.
|
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|
7,021 |
> what's better than that?\n\nI dunno... it feels like... kinda... everything?
|
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|
7,022 |
Pissing into an ocean of piss
|
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|
7,023 |
And when no cars were behind you, having to wait until you passed a streetlight and pausing until you passed another one
|
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|
7,024 |
Imageshack tried to buy it 6 months after I made it. Glad I didn't sell...\n\nImgur is now bigger than they are, as well as yfrog which is by the same company.
|
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|
7,025 |
I tried that once and ended up doing a breathalyzer.
|
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|
7,026 |
Thanks! President of the world will make you his assistant!
|
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|
7,027 |
http://imgur.com/V1Msw
|
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|
7,028 |
How many times have I heard that one... \n\nEdit: Oh wow, could I possibly find a worse place to reply wrongly to? Meant to reply to above comment, as in, I'm a designer and I hear that all the time too. \n\nReddit giveth and taketh away. It stays.
|
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|
7,029 |
"Hey Jim, it's the sock guy again."\nJim looks up from the counter, spotting the customer over the clothing section. He waves. "Hey, sock guy!"\nSock guy doesn't respond and just stares at the cashier, mad eyes wide open.\n\n*thesockscontrolmemanpleasehelppleasestopme*\n\nJim purses his lips and awkwardly goes back to attending the customers.
|
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|
7,030 |
Huh. One might almost think that putting the least ambitious people into leadership positions is a good strategy for a society.\n
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|
7,031 |
My dad found out I was sneaking whisky from him once and he replaced it with chicken broth. I took a big swig and ಠ\_ಠ'd immediately
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|
7,032 |
With your luck combined... It would probably just be a split stream that goes everywhere except the toilet bowl.
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|
7,033 |
Or the "I will shout at eight year olds at soccer games"-haircut
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|
7,034 |
I live in New Zealand. The quality of journalism here is appalling. If I make it the whole way through an article and there are no typos, I actually do think that.
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|
7,035 |
No, ugly kids get rocks thrown at them as they approach the Friendly's. They're not very friendly at all there.
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|
7,036 |
The inclusion of mobile broadband on that list is HUGE since it's always been excluded from previous attempts at regulation.
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|
7,037 |
Just as gramps would have wanted.
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|
7,038 |
I think a month later I was trying to look at myself naked in the bathroom mirror by standing on a hamper and it fucking flipped over and I slammed my back on the bath. I was like right I think I've pissed him off.
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|
7,039 |
Iraqommend it - Critic #4
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|
7,040 |
Shoot hoops. Not brothas.
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|
7,041 |
Oh dear god. His plan is unfolding perfectly.
|
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|
7,042 |
This is a wonderfully redeeming story.
|
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|
7,043 |
Why not just read your list and then check them all off?
|
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|
7,044 |
Better than sucking dick.\n\nThanks for the gold stranger!
|
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|
7,045 |
like morality, education, science... pretty much everything
|
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|
7,046 |
Boxer-briefs? Nah, fuck it. Tampon up the crack.
|
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|
7,047 |
Is there something wrong with a woman named Steve?
|
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|
7,048 |
You have got to see Big Fat Liar instead.\nFor clarification this movie is dope.
|
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|
7,049 |
Half the person, half the price. Logic.
|
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|
7,050 |
He's hit that far too early for me, Clive
|
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|
7,051 |
Oh god this is just like one of those youtube comments about "good" music.
|
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|
7,052 |
my happiest memory is when I met my best friend.
|
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|
7,053 |
But the blood could be invisible, then you just dented your car.
|
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|
7,054 |
Until you said it was subtle I imagined a lopsided troll like person.
|
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|
7,055 |
>Bees (not wasps, there is nothing you can really do about wasps because they're predatory) will always warn you before they sting, unless you are crushing them with your body. They warn by headbutting. If a bee is bonking into you, it is not confused, it is giving you a warning to run away. If you do not heed the warning, it will then attempt to defend its family.\n\nThat is the cutest thing I've ever read. A fat little bumblebee probably makes a "boop" sound whenever it headbutts you.
|
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|
7,056 |
You poor soviets with your megablocks.
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|
7,057 |
> It's ridiculous how **males** who are friendly with children are automatically branded a paedophile.\n\nFTFY. OP never said or even hinted about his/her gender, but everyone knows automatically, because if this were a female, nobody would have called it unacceptable.\n\nEdit: Never though I'd get my "Best Comment" trophy from a "FTFY" comment.
|
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|
7,058 |
I was Cheeseburger Eddie from that moment on.
|
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|
7,059 |
I feel like this should be a twitter feed. @lifewithigor or something.
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|
7,060 |
Ah... ok. Was kinda freaking out there for a bit.
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|
7,061 |
That's really not enough. They should honestly reimburse him for time lost. If there was a reason for a group of garbage men to go on strike I think this might be it. The prosecutor said that garbage men are a nuisance. That's a clear indication that their services are under valued.
|
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|
7,062 |
I have been telling my wife for over 20 years, and her retort is "The box says 'flushable'". Yeah, is that box gonna pay the plumber this time? It hasn't so far.
|
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|
7,063 |
The AMA is just a lobbying organization and membership is voluntary. Reporting him to his State Medical Board would be more appropriate.
|
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|
7,064 |
This job ain't for everyone. But hay, it's in my jeans.
|
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|
7,065 |
Black or white, inside we are all [blue](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/007/951/temprate.jpg)
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|
7,066 |
Padme could have done it. She was rich.
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|
7,067 |
There is a radio comedy quiz show called *I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue* here in the UK. One of the rounds is called *The Uxbridge English Dictionary*, where the contestants have to come up with new definitions for existing words.\n\nStephen Fry famously came up with 'countryside: the crime of killing Piers Morgan'.\n\n(Say it out loud)
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|
7,068 |
I) I don't find the others funny.\n2) They are pretty similar. The only difference is the suggestions. North America tends to be more pop culture oriented.\n3)No, would you?
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|
7,069 |
Hmm I'm not convinced we'd work well together.
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|
7,070 |
You were pretty determined to see your friend's dick.
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|
7,071 |
It got to a point where it felt weird looking at a billion pics of mysef, so I might have missed out on any recent ones within the past week or so.\n\nThere are a ton of great ones. Off the top of my head, I like the "Record Milk Sales" one, the creepy Wolverine one and definitely the RPG photoshopped into the North By Northwest airplane scene.
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|
7,072 |
"We're looking for an entry level job BUT MUST HAVE 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE".
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|
7,073 |
Circlejerker reddit\n\nPraises Valve for a product that hasn't been released yet\n\nDownvotes anyone who disagrees and refuses to acknowledge criticism
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|
7,074 |
I feel like our usernames are relevant to each other.
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|
7,075 |
Only because more people have gone to space than use G+
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|
7,076 |
also, she was male once.
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|
7,077 |
Because we don't use the metric system
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|
7,078 |
Alrighty, I'll deliver. It is VERY early in the morning, so I am sorry if there is a stumble or a slur here n there. If there is popular demand I will upload smoother classier version when I have a working brain. [I give you me at 6 in the morning going as fast as i can](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRsu0kooIa8&feature=youtu.be)\n\nEdit: [You like me! Right now you like me!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl_NpdAy3WY)
|
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|
7,079 |
Why is no one offering me these amounts to do those things
|
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|
7,080 |
Bonus points for out-nerding a nerd competition
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|
7,081 |
"Haha made you look FAG"
|
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|
7,082 |
"If Christianity came from the Jews why do we still have Jews?"
|
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|
7,083 |
Not any more, fumblebuck. Not any more. Not since I quit drinking and smoking.
|
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|
7,084 |
Back in my day, we had to listen to dubstep before we got on the internet.
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|
7,085 |
You're one of those rich bastards that got the sharpener....
|
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|
7,086 |
I watched a pirated movie. On a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give it 3.14.
|
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|
7,087 |
Iama Zorg, Grok me anything.
|
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|
7,088 |
Weirdest novelty account ever.
|
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|
7,089 |
Your little sister is amazing.
|
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|
7,090 |
>**The Company Is Father. The Company Is Mother.**\n\ntl;dr: no work? u shame famiry, commit sudoku
|
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|
7,091 |
ever try to take it further by putting a leg up on the toilet or counter?
|
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|
7,092 |
Sounds like my CIV V tech tree
|
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|
7,093 |
Fun fact, there actually aren't any female peacocks. Those are called peahens.
|
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|
7,094 |
Bravery and sausages.
|
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|
7,095 |
1. The Moon landing\n2. Very lost. Its not easy. Keep an open mind and things seem less strange.\n3. Truthfully, any day with my husband. He was the best man I ever met.\n4. Always listen to the other person. You'll learn something. Try to sit back, because you will learn a lot more listening to others than telling them what you know
|
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"violence/graphic": false,
"self-harm/intent": false,
"self-harm/instructions": false,
"harassment/threatening": false
},
"category_scores": {
"harassment": 0.0000054724482652090956,
"harassment_threatening": 1.851872610814098e-8,
"hate": 0.000033438762329751626,
"hate_threatening": 4.659928554140436e-10,
"self_harm": 2.9823124236827425e-7,
"self_harm_instructions": 1.311592825459229e-7,
"self_harm_intent": 4.802970465789258e-7,
"sexual": 0.00010852392733795568,
"sexual_minors": 0.000001233615307683067,
"violence": 0.000011770031960622873,
"violence_graphic": 1.419466144625403e-7,
"self-harm": 2.9823124236827425e-7,
"sexual/minors": 0.000001233615307683067,
"hate/threatening": 4.659928554140436e-10,
"violence/graphic": 1.419466144625403e-7,
"self-harm/intent": 4.802970465789258e-7,
"self-harm/instructions": 1.311592825459229e-7,
"harassment/threatening": 1.851872610814098e-8
},
"flagged": false
}
|
7,096 |
it's ok, he checks out
|
{
"categories": {
"harassment": false,
"harassment_threatening": false,
"hate": false,
"hate_threatening": false,
"self_harm": false,
"self_harm_instructions": false,
"self_harm_intent": false,
"sexual": false,
"sexual_minors": false,
"violence": false,
"violence_graphic": false,
"self-harm": false,
"sexual/minors": false,
"hate/threatening": false,
"violence/graphic": false,
"self-harm/intent": false,
"self-harm/instructions": false,
"harassment/threatening": false
},
"category_scores": {
"harassment": 0.0005357348127290606,
"harassment_threatening": 0.000024354969355044886,
"hate": 0.000008039747626753524,
"hate_threatening": 4.699824174281275e-8,
"self_harm": 0.00013152763131074607,
"self_harm_instructions": 0.000012357816558505874,
"self_harm_intent": 0.00002640833736222703,
"sexual": 0.0006074694683775306,
"sexual_minors": 0.000009523432709102053,
"violence": 0.0002083523868350312,
"violence_graphic": 0.00006062144530005753,
"self-harm": 0.00013152763131074607,
"sexual/minors": 0.000009523432709102053,
"hate/threatening": 4.699824174281275e-8,
"violence/graphic": 0.00006062144530005753,
"self-harm/intent": 0.00002640833736222703,
"self-harm/instructions": 0.000012357816558505874,
"harassment/threatening": 0.000024354969355044886
},
"flagged": false
}
|
7,097 |
I can see who's player 1 in this relationship.
|
{
"categories": {
"harassment": false,
"harassment_threatening": false,
"hate": false,
"hate_threatening": false,
"self_harm": false,
"self_harm_instructions": false,
"self_harm_intent": false,
"sexual": false,
"sexual_minors": false,
"violence": false,
"violence_graphic": false,
"self-harm": false,
"sexual/minors": false,
"hate/threatening": false,
"violence/graphic": false,
"self-harm/intent": false,
"self-harm/instructions": false,
"harassment/threatening": false
},
"category_scores": {
"harassment": 0.014147603884339333,
"harassment_threatening": 0.00000888251179276267,
"hate": 0.0008702977211214602,
"hate_threatening": 6.958168796700193e-8,
"self_harm": 1.6673241987064102e-7,
"self_harm_instructions": 3.6795958635593706e-7,
"self_harm_intent": 5.688175974682963e-8,
"sexual": 0.0005669684032909572,
"sexual_minors": 0.000020780293198185973,
"violence": 0.0001489188289269805,
"violence_graphic": 0.0000020273346308385953,
"self-harm": 1.6673241987064102e-7,
"sexual/minors": 0.000020780293198185973,
"hate/threatening": 6.958168796700193e-8,
"violence/graphic": 0.0000020273346308385953,
"self-harm/intent": 5.688175974682963e-8,
"self-harm/instructions": 3.6795958635593706e-7,
"harassment/threatening": 0.00000888251179276267
},
"flagged": false
}
|
7,098 |
It has a [cure](http://i.imgur.com/pyZeR.gif) even though it is a fake.
|
{
"categories": {
"harassment": false,
"harassment_threatening": false,
"hate": false,
"hate_threatening": false,
"self_harm": false,
"self_harm_instructions": false,
"self_harm_intent": false,
"sexual": false,
"sexual_minors": false,
"violence": false,
"violence_graphic": false,
"self-harm": false,
"sexual/minors": false,
"hate/threatening": false,
"violence/graphic": false,
"self-harm/intent": false,
"self-harm/instructions": false,
"harassment/threatening": false
},
"category_scores": {
"harassment": 0.03204933553934097,
"harassment_threatening": 0.00012566661462187767,
"hate": 0.003460996551439166,
"hate_threatening": 5.43161547739146e-7,
"self_harm": 0.000006951130671950523,
"self_harm_instructions": 0.0000012567865042001358,
"self_harm_intent": 5.57713008220162e-7,
"sexual": 0.00019605251145549119,
"sexual_minors": 0.000020133207726757973,
"violence": 0.00021273393940646201,
"violence_graphic": 0.00006774033681722358,
"self-harm": 0.000006951130671950523,
"sexual/minors": 0.000020133207726757973,
"hate/threatening": 5.43161547739146e-7,
"violence/graphic": 0.00006774033681722358,
"self-harm/intent": 5.57713008220162e-7,
"self-harm/instructions": 0.0000012567865042001358,
"harassment/threatening": 0.00012566661462187767
},
"flagged": false
}
|
7,099 |
Your bitch sounds like a very unhappy person.
|
{
"categories": {
"harassment": true,
"harassment_threatening": false,
"hate": false,
"hate_threatening": false,
"self_harm": false,
"self_harm_instructions": false,
"self_harm_intent": false,
"sexual": false,
"sexual_minors": false,
"violence": false,
"violence_graphic": false,
"self-harm": false,
"sexual/minors": false,
"hate/threatening": false,
"violence/graphic": false,
"self-harm/intent": false,
"self-harm/instructions": false,
"harassment/threatening": false
},
"category_scores": {
"harassment": 0.7898223400115967,
"harassment_threatening": 7.731668461019581e-7,
"hate": 0.0035545809660106897,
"hate_threatening": 7.045528604976425e-10,
"self_harm": 5.656354939986841e-9,
"self_harm_instructions": 7.507396926342835e-10,
"self_harm_intent": 1.6967688365454592e-9,
"sexual": 0.00007974263280630112,
"sexual_minors": 5.625980126211516e-9,
"violence": 0.00003179497070959769,
"violence_graphic": 7.131306745122856e-8,
"self-harm": 5.656354939986841e-9,
"sexual/minors": 5.625980126211516e-9,
"hate/threatening": 7.045528604976425e-10,
"violence/graphic": 7.131306745122856e-8,
"self-harm/intent": 1.6967688365454592e-9,
"self-harm/instructions": 7.507396926342835e-10,
"harassment/threatening": 7.731668461019581e-7
},
"flagged": true
}
|
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