id
int64 5.11k
4.34M
| gender
stringclasses 2
values | age
int64 13
48
| topic
stringclasses 40
values | sign
stringclasses 12
values | date
stringlengths 2
18
| text
stringlengths 4
790k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
3,988,150 | female | 15 | indUnk | Aries | 13,August,2004 | haller!!! oh my gosh!!! i was like sooo nervous and excited 'coz today is the audition for the singing eck-eck in MAPEH... nyweiyz...i woke up at 7:00 a.m....LATE!!! (but, of course, my prof didn't care at all) Social Studies- we had a quiz 'bout China! (in fairness, got a high score) Chemistry- we also had a quiz 'bout the lesson we took up yesterday, but, i got a low score 'coz i was absent yesterday... Recess- i didn't eat 'coz i was sooo nervous 'bout the audition!!! And now, Audition time!!! we(BRATZ) went to the PEHM office 'coz they said that the auditions were to be held there... When we got there, the teachers had a meeting... so, the audition was posponed and will take place on monday... i was like...What?! Great!!! at least, i could practice more... Filipino- ma'am discussed 'bout this really boooriiing tula... At lunch, (BRATZ) ate at King Louise... Then, we went back to school agad ... (in fairness, di kami na-late) we didn't do much in English and Geometry... T.H.E.- we cooked macaroons...well, actually, i wasn't the one who cooked, 'coz it was the other group's turn to cook...yun na!!! Bye!!! God Bless!!! MGA PASAWAY!!! |
3,988,150 | female | 15 | indUnk | Aries | 09,August,2004 | kainis!!! gosh! you know what?! last sat... nina and luke were here in dagupan...they were in city mall for a mall tour for Ellips Cologne...they're show starts at 3 pm...my mom and i went to city mall at about 5 pm... i didn't know that they had a show...so, i didn't go there ealier... i just found out that they had a show,when we were already in the mall!!! i was sooo frustated!!!! and guess what?! i bought a meg mag august issue coz' king said he would be there...but he wasn't!!! shiit!!!i was really frustrated!!! damn!!! but, nyweiyz...at least i bought ellips cologne and i got a pic and poster of nina...well,that's it!!! bye!!!mwahh!!! MGA PASAWAY!!! |
3,988,150 | female | 15 | indUnk | Aries | 06,August,2004 | elow!!! haaay!!! kakatamad pumasok!!! syempre, friday... diba pinsan ng sabado?! But nyweiyz... i still woke up early... But, guess what?! i was late...AGAIN!!! (what's new?) At social studies, my prof just discussed about the history of India... we just wrote , wrote and wrote thingys... At chemistry, we had a long quiz...Then, we took a break for 10 mins... On MAPEH, our teacher gave us the list of the activities we could join... i chose singing and dancing!(of course) At filipino, we had a play...it was sooo boooriiing!!! At lunch...we ate at King Louise Restaurant...after eating we went straight back to the school... At english,our teacher just made us copy somethin'... In geometry, we just checked our test papers... in T.H.E.,(our last subject)... we cooked 'banana-sweet'...while my groupmates were cooking,i didn't do nothin' but DANCE around the kitchen!!! wahaha!!! hehehe!!! MGA PASAWAY!!! |
3,988,150 | female | 15 | indUnk | Aries | 02,August,2004 | Haller everybody!!! gosh!!! am sooo BORED today as in!!! you guys wanna know why? i know you wanna know... well, here goes nothin' !!! i woke up at 'bout 6:00 A.M. ( tamad me pumasok !!!) guess what... pagopen ko ng radio... gosh!!! si KING!!! the song was ' ba't di mo pagbigyan' !!!! wow!!! anyway, pagtapos nung song, i took a bath na... then,dressed up, then,went to school... i was late for like 30 minutes...( lagi naman eh!!!hehehe!!!) my professor didn't scold me ... my guess- sanay na siya- hehehe!!! einyweiyz...after 3 subjects, it's time for our FILIPINO class... i was like shiit... i hate this subject!!! wahaha!!! we had to practice this play that we're gonna do tomorrow...but, during our practice... hazel and i had a fight...well,actually tampuhan lang ... shiit!!! i don't wanna say the reason why we faught... baka lalo akong mabanas!!! shiit talaga!!! and then, i went home to eat my lunch... at english...which is ny eave subject...( yabang noh?!) i was late!!!(again!!!) so, di ako pinapasok nung teacher... PASAWAY!!! shiit!!! so, anyway, nakapasok na ako nung geometry na namin... after geometry, i went to mouse house internet cafe and posted this... okey!!! yun na!!! stop me!!! MGA PASAWAY!!! hehehe!!! |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 25,May,2004 | I was dancing along a parapet. Leg up, leg down, I twisted gently and spun upon my pointed toes. The boys and girls beneath me smiled and were cheered, because I was dancing upon the parapet, a pointless protrusion of concrete to run along a case of stairs. It was freestanding, and when I stood beside it at the bottom of the stairs I was shorter than it; at the top I was only barely taller. I climbed up upon it and I danced, because it seemed a rather good thing to do. People milled about me on the bare concrete quad, looking up or looking down, smiling when they saw me. It was an amusement, and the weather was clear and still. I twisted round and caught squarely among my abdominals a large irregular stone. It was nothing like the geometric lines of the square courtyard; roughly hewn and uneven. I tipped backwards from the narrow parapet. My leg flew up in a desperate attempt to redistribute my weight; I tipped backwards. It was an endless moment, in which my limbs flew out and I flew back, following the arched center of my spine. The pink ribbons of my shirt drifted toward the sky as I plunged down to the earth. I was not meant to fly. People froze and stared, aghast and horrified. My frantic eyes searched the sky for salvation as they stood helpless, too far distant and too weak. I land squarely in his arms. He had run from nowhere to stand beneath me when I fell, and together we tumble onto the hard cement. We sit up rattled, pushing my long hair from our faces and untangling our jumbled limbs. I gaze about through the mesh of golden hair which crosshatches my vision. The people, broken from their trances, spill around us in waves of color and flesh, imploring our health and applauding his celerity. The rock? It came from over there, we say, and in fury and in rage the thrower is sought. He rises, and pulls me up after, and we stand bemused as about us pours the raging pursuit of the malingerer. Stop, I say, I am unharmed and also he. They are a mad amoeba without ears, or certainly without the capacity to digest what falls upon them. It is revelry, and a crazed mob, but what do they seek? It is not for my revenge: I will not have it. It must be theirs then, for it is none of mine. But why? |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 19,May,2004 | My cousin wanted her portrait drawn before we left the antique Canadian municipality called Gastown. The streets were lined with gas-burning streetlamps and vendors, selling junk to tourists. It was late afternoon and clouding. We found an artist, his watercolors and sketches pinned to a makeshift easel. He was just preparing to head off for the day, but our troupe accosted him and begged that he draw one last portrait. An old man, skinny and white-stubbled, he wore an old army coat and his vehicle was a rundown bicycle. He was frustrated that we had come so late, but was clearly in need of the money and agreed to stay. Early into his drawing the rain broke, and his distress was evident as the drops neared his shabby display of striking paintings. This disturbed me too, so that I moved to shield the man’s works with my own jacket. I realize now that what I really feared was that my own art and skills would be banished to such a disgraceful life, to suffer the whims of a selfish girl for a few dollars. It is a horrifying prospect, and I see now that to deter this fate I have to sculpt my own impending lifetime. I try to take advantage of what supplies and time and attention are available to me today, and to search for a career which incorporates my art, so that I need not suffer poverty to do what I love. |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 14,May,2004 | of childhood, perhaps second grade or first. i was alone but i never knew it, so i wasnt lonely really. even so early i fanatacised over style - my pretty dress coat of navy blue boiled wool was my first fashion statement. i wore it always. i hated school. it was so demanding; not the work, which was too simple, but the people, who also were too simple. even so early they played at the games of adults, drama queens and pimps and know it alls. i received my first love note in the first grade room so amply paved with puce coloured carpet from the 60s or 70s. what was i to do, i wondered, with this silly little scrap of paper? i tossed it away, both from my fingers and my thoughts. while other children played kickball, i did little side from contemplate their games and wonder, why? i am a natural athlete. i did not fear to join - what good would it do me, however, to do so? i would construct my own devices for amusement, solo, ignorant to their metaphorical significance to my later life. now i see the irony, in my scorn of games, for i myself partake in them as human nature - though they are yet of my own devising. much of my concentration focused on the gutter which ran the length of the sparsely vegetated field, burnished raw at the base stops and parched of water here and there. on overcast days of rain or snow - a happy occurence in my early life -i the gutter child delighted in constructing dams to block the flow of water to the drain, diverting it instead across the blacktop or sending it backward into its own origin. sticks were scarce, no trees having been allowed to take root and thus also depriving the field of shade. a rare commodity and prized for their structural capacity, they were gathered near the edges of the chain link fence, where they clustered in the savage wind, unchecked as it was by any substantial structure but the hulking redbrick school. a clear day, the water froze along the gutter track, congealing as a thin sheet just suspended over the unmoving stream of gutterwater. i broke it gently with my mitted hands, shattering it like a mirrors surface. even more delicately i lifted the ethereal plates up from their watery bed and set them upon the narrow curb which ran along it. a shadow fell over me here at my work bench, but i did not look up to ascertain its wielder; too frequently did the older children come to watch my strange activities in momentary fascination. 'what are you doing, jen?' asked the shadow maker. i looked up against the sun to see my own mother, come to visit, and my younger brother, not yet in school. he wore his puffy down coat that made him look like a fat blue marshmallow, stupid with his red rosy cheeks and button round eyes. 'i donno,' i think i said, inexplicably embarrassed to be caught alone at my solitary game. i straightened one of the scraps of ice self-consciously, still half kneeling on the asphault. it was so clear and bright and blue that day. |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 12,May,2004 | in christmas vacation i went to maui. we took surf lessons - who doesnt in hawaii? it was brilliant to paddle around on our boards, and certainly more so the exquisite instructor. damn the luck. the most incredible guy i ever meet lives on an island too many thousand miles away. 'are you a cheerleader?' another instructor asks as i lay prone on my surfboard in front of him; theyre standing. i laugh no, 'a model?' asks my own instructor. 'you guys want tips, dont you?' i laugh back. trailing down his back like medusa's snakes were long sienna dreds, a number of them bleached white as the exalted white sand. they were just skinny, and he had massed them back with a rubber band. i loved them. when i went up to him after the lesson with an obscene tip, he was busy rinsing the coarse golden sand from his reef booties. 'do you have a pocket i can just stick it into?' i asked. he directed me to a small pocket on his thigh, and proffered his leg. 'uhh listen,' he said, 'there is like, a party tonight for new years, its gonna be pretty sweet. wanna come?' so i snuck out in hawaii. i do it at home all the time - is it worse or better while on vacation with the parents? that was the first time id been drunk in a while. we had so much fun that night. it was on a beach, and we splashed and played in the water and by a giant bonfire. there were people everywhere, beercans, surfboards and a million cars in the lot and down the street. ive never had a better new years. kimo was pretty short, only a few inches taller than me (im not small.. 5'6). wiry-muscular and dark tanned, a japanese style tattoo covered most of his lower back. he was hot. we took a sufrboard out (he took it out, i rode) and we surfed blind in the dark, partner style, for a while. i have to say, hawaiian reefs are a little sharp for night surfing. when one of his friends swam out and jumped on the board, scaring the shit out of me and capsizing it, we all went back in to the beach. everybody got wasted on heineken and guinness and tequila. theres nothing more fun than one night stands in a city thousands of miles of ocean from your home. theres no inhibition of any sort. everyone in hawaii drives a small pickup (if theyre native) or a 2004 mustang (if theyre not). all of the pickups have surfboards layered in the back, and who would have guessed - they double as a mattress. another oddity - 9 inches, 5'8; 5 inches, 6'3. hmm. i guess its true - height has nothing to do with it. drunk and hyper and free, we landed in the back of kimos pickup. most of the cars near us were enjoying similar occupations. theres something inherently sexier about leaving clothes on to do it. it seems so much naughtier, so much more 'my-parents-could-get-home-any-minute-and-catch-us'. we tried it side by side, we tried it missionary, we tried it flat doggy. he wasnt any 'better' than any other guy. the situation was. afterwards we partied more. he drove me home at four am, and we sat outside my hotel for an hour in the car, knowing we'd never see each other again. its a weird feeling, sitting with a guy youve just met and fucked and know youll never see again. we didnt know whether to laugh or cry. so we had sex again. in the cab of the truck. it was so good, straddling his lap with my hands on his shoulders and his arms around my waist. i walked into my hotel, into the enormous lobby where the desk attendents looked at me in alarm. i tipped them not to say a word. who actually does that in real life, james bond? |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 12,May,2004 | I have trouble sleeping. It’s been a chronic problem that has plagued me since I moved into this house, eight months ago. At first I would be too frightened to leave my bed or even move a muscle for fear of dark-dwelling demons. I would lay for hours in itchy, overheated sweat, hoping my covers would protect me from fearful malingerers. Since then I’ve learned to listen to music or read a book. I’ve read a lot of books and watched a lot of terrible late-night TV from my bed. I woke up one night at what the red dashes proclaimed as two forty-six A.M. I laid for a few moments trying to go back to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. At last I threw back the covers and slid my legs out of bed. I live alone, so I didn’t bother to put on the sweats thrown over a nearby chair before going downstairs in search of a drink. Why is it that that night I wanted a glass of water? I’m pretty sure that’s never put me to sleep. It was surprisingly cold downstairs. I planned subconsciously to turn up the thermostat in the morning. I walked into the kitchen and turned on the halogen light. It takes a while for it to warm up, so it was still pretty dim in the room as I fetched a glass and held it under the tap. I looked out the window in front of me as I waited for it to fill, trying to discern individual shapes from the fuzzy blackness. As I left again I happened to glance behind me as I hit the light switch. I thought vaguely that I must put in a normal bulb - the room hadn’t much lightened in the few moments I was there. It wasn’t until I was a few steps away that I realized that there was a man in the kitchen, standing against a wall in the corner, his hands folded demurely before him. Panic washed my body like a cold shower. I walked through the rest of the dining room, the living room and up to the front door. Tears slid down my cheeks and my hands shook the water from my glass. I couldn’t help but run the last few steps to the door, and in my haste to twist open the lock I dropped the glass. It shattered loudly, and behind me I heard an anguished, masculine cry. I watched my hands opening the door, my ears and mind behind me. I sprinted from the house, across the lawn. At the nearest neighbor’s house I screamed and pounded on the door with my fists. Behind me I heard him coming; I looked - he wasn’t there. I saw a movement in the shrubs beside the porch - he wasn’t there. Screaming and sobbing hysterically, I pummeled the door with my fists until it opened and I fell into the neighbor's arms. Two days later a policeman stationed in my house found him in the same place, two fifty A.M. The man told the prosecutor he had used my phone every night for seven months to call his grandmother, whom he had smothered to death in this house six years before. |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 10,May,2004 | urlLink acid trip urlLink |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 10,May,2004 | personal narrative, they say. hit them with a round, i respond. |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 26,June,2004 | I was hiding under greenish white flowers, creeping among the stalks. The flowers were held high enough, and splayed wide enough, to shield me from vision like umbrellas. Nevertheless they were indoors, enclosed by a sheath of old grey wood that was only as high as they were. Above this were clean windows, to let in the light. I don't believe there was a ceiling. I hurried through them; I had to escape. They had come for my parents, and detained them even now, but before they came my parents had told me quickly: 'Go, you can evade them if you are crafty. You must carry forth the business. We are lost.' I hid beneath the flowers, but still they rustled with my movement. I was forced to hold myself at odd angles, to avoid the stems and still touch only my feet and hands to the dry ground. They searched and searched the house, but this little alcove was safe from their efforts. Either they did not know that it was here - could not find or see it - or they did not expect it to be a viable sanctuary. Whatever the reason, they did not seek me out. And when the moment was safe, I squirmed from among the tall plants and broke free of the wood enclosure. I fled into the street before the house. I thought that I was safe now, I had made it to the open, and I stood tall in the cloudy light. But he was waiting for me there. Stepping from a car which I had thought was empty, he caught my wrist in his vastly larger hand. 'Let me go,' I gasped. 'I can't do that. You know I can't,' he replied, cool. 'You will not force me,' I said. I would fight him. For my parents. He pulled me closer, yanking me by my captive wrist. His aviator sunglasses loomed over me, and his khaki bomber jacket made him enormous and imposing. I pulled the boxcutter from the backpocket of my jeans. 'Do not force me,' I hissed. He held me tighter. Slipping out the blade with a quiet snick, I forced it under the elasticised knitted cuffs of his coat. I slashed viciously through the veins of his wrist. He shouted, but still he did not release me. Again I cut his wrist, viciously, as desperate as a cornered animal. I would escape- he would not rob my freedom from me. Over and over I dragged the blade through his skin, cutting through his cuff now. I felt the crunch against his bones, the scraping and ripping. Even now the phantom sensation haunts me. 'Jenny-' he said, holding his wrist and falling to his knees. He had released me. Coldness. It was him. I knew him now. Always he had dreamed of astronautics, but here he was now, a mere policeman. I was cold. I had loved him once- loved- and I had killed him. I. Was. So. Cold. I whispered his name before I could think. He was reaching for me. I shrugged him off and ran. I had killed him and I was cold. I ran - for my parents. |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 19,June,2004 | the salmon are running. upstream, through the falls. counterclockwise. the nez perce kneel beside the water's edge, and scoop them from among the rocks. a makeshift tent of cerulean tarp crouches beside the road: the fish are for sale. a fifty dollar steelhead salmon for pennies. its a game. she wanders among them, towheaded among a field of long black braids, swarthy mens' faces. adorned in brilliant colours of orange and green and yellow, lost within the grey and black and faded blue-grey jeans. old, old levis. the young men are beautiful. smooth, round cheekbones stretch proudly from wide mouths. long limbs, shapely, lightboned and broad at calves and forearms. and their skin is golden, like brown sugar or toffee. most have caramel eyes. delicious. damn it, theyre so delicious. |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 06,June,2004 | Save the ones you can; put them in a taxi. Someone is crying - who is it? Hey, is she ok? Is she ok? They’re being forced into the taxi, pushed and herded. They don’t want to go, but to stay and help their friends. Force them. The driver is waiting. A hundred bucks, he says, if they puke in my car. Each. Shit. Send the clean ones, get them clear. They’ll go to safety, come back for the rest. What will we do with the rest? Send the ones you can. Load them in, as many as you can. Slap the roof: go. They’ll come back for more. It’s the middle of the night - we can’t find one of the girls. The other two went with the EMT. They’re poisoned. We can’t find the other - we don’t care about anything else, just her. She might die, do you understand? She might get raped, or poisoned. We have to find her now. Call everyone who knows anything. We have to find her. Were you there? Did you see where the girl went? She might die. Come with us in our wailing car, you’ve seen more, you’re not intoxicated. Come with us, we have to find her. You’re the only one who knows enough. She’s here. There’s a mass of them; they’re out on the floor, and the couch. One answers the door; he can’t see, can’t think, can barely stand. She’s ok. Poisoned, but safe. We found her, thanks to you who knows. Now we care about the rest. See my gun? Don’t make it aim at you. It’s over. |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 21,July,2004 | 'I have a question for you ,' he says, walking towards my lonely table. There are a few kids in the pool, but for the most part the vast conservatory is empty; it's almost midnight. Everyone else has gone to bed. We lonesome teenagers linger, yearning for company nearer our own age. Apparently, we think ourselves more likely to discover it in the early morning. I know what his question is. I asked him the same not a day before. I'd been avoiding his eyes as he came down the stairs, embarrassed for my own audacity. But he came towards me, and he spoke. 'I'm seventeen,' I say, setting aside my book and lifting my cooling coffee to my lips. I don't even like it; I take my coffee Irish. This is not an option here. For my age group, at least. He pulls out the empty chair across from me, looking quizzically. I nod. He sets down his near-empty glass. Knowing I would need it from the coffee, I slip a lifesaver from my pocket and into my mouth. An hour or two later: We're walking on deck. I'm too restless to simply sit still and chat, and he's humoring me. We stalk the cold promenade, looking down at the fourteen- and fifteen-year olds in the hot tub below us. 'Look,' he says, pointing at an unidentifiable yellow light in the distance, toward shore, 'a streetlamp.' I laugh. 'It's a buoy.' 'No. Streetlamp.' 'For the Eskimos?' I ask. He nods solemnly. We discuss the little-visible landscape for a long while. At last, a surprising change: far off in the diamond speckled sky, a star falls. 'Was that-' I say. 'Whoa,' he says. Even this far north, comet sightings are rare. He looks at me from where he stands leaning against the railway to my left. I feign interest in the view for a moment, then give in and turn toward him. I smile a bit and nibble my lip. I know where this is going. And why shouldn't it? Some god has given us a divine signal that screams, do it! . My heart is fluttering. I'm still so much a little girl. He reaches out and brushes my cheek with his fingertips. My mind is squealing like a twelve year old at an N'Sync concert. I never liked them. I smile at him, pushing back the edge of my flapper cap, from the shameful designers at American Eagle. He's a brand name boy, though, and he respects it. Ok. Moves in. I'm lost. Here we go. Forget the 'tweens' below, watching us, surely. Perhaps their eager young virgin bodies will be inspired to greater efforts than poolside flirting. Mmm. Hands on his neck, don't you dare back off now. His hand is hot on my waist, sliding under my vintage denim jacket, well-worn sprite-green sweatshirt. Hands on his shoulders, a hand on my lumbar, a hand on my neck. We stagger over to the wall, lean there for a moment, clumsily move away from the pools. No one goes this way, we know. Safe here. Cold cold cold . 'Here let's go inside', someone says. Was it me? 'Have you seen that commercial,' a guy named M once asked me, 'where the chick and the guy make out in an elevator?' We didn't. But then, a guy named S got M's wish. O dear. All the way down six floors. Nobody's here to witness. All the sane have gone to sleep. 'My room is empty,' he whispers. Yes. After telling me we were going on a cruise, my dad spent the next hour outlining the various punishments we would suffer if we brought someone into our room. Apparently someone else's room slipped his mind. A boy named S. Whose sticky mouth tastes like sugar. And a girl. I'm lost. |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 07,July,2004 | urlLink me.. the multiple necklaces with the vintage coat create a semi-seventies look, which works well with the neutral top. urlLink |
2,804,167 | female | 17 | Student | Libra | 07,July,2004 | im going to indulge myself and offer a critique of fashion. really, some one has to help people with their look. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 30,June,2004 | well now.. after not being able to sleep i find myself in a like 3 hour long deep conversation with teal. it made me feel refreshed, and i may add i performed some pretty spiffy psychology to prove my points. and now shes left to clear her head. and im sitting here. staring at the collage i made on my wall next to my computer. man im gonna miss this room when i leave high school. its my pride and joy and all the memories that have ever mattered are in here, all my secrets and all my dreams. its gonna suck. but you know whats making me the saddest? knowing that every second i sit here and every minute i spend looking at my past all im doing is wasting more memories.. ok granted it IS 3 o'clock in the morning.. it still feels like a waste of time ya know? it makes me think about the choices i make. about the things i hold in. if i only have so much time then why cant i tell people how i feel about them? how come were all so scared to admit our true feelings? if were not supposed to waste any time then how do we follow all the social rules, or worry about what people think? shouldnt we all just say what we think. i guess its just evolution, and evolution puzzles me. but you know what puzzles me the most? why the hell do i insist on doing all my thinking in the middle of the god damn night. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 29,June,2004 | well if you cant tell by the title, i cant sleep. i didnt do anything today, and it felt good, first day of the summer to myself, i woke up at like 11, talked online, got on the phone with teal and lauren, went back to bed, lauren came over and we listened to backstreet boys.. because it felt going going back to when we were younger.. then we went with veronica to dairy queen.. yummy. i watched summerland:) ee favorite show EVER. learned 2 new songs and now im sitting here trying to sleep but always getting back up. 'dont look back.. its been too long since iv felt this way.' that explains how i feel, great. and BOSTON kicks your butt. and thats a good song. Lee |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 28,June,2004 | well tonight was a pretty good night. i went to laurens and james and randy and anthony went with us. it was pretty cool. seeing people i havent seen, james taught me about guns. its cool theyre fascinating. besides that we just hung around. the guys snuck into the gun range and got bullet shells. i just watched. but i got to keep one :). james is going out with nicole. thats very cute. then i came home and finally got to talk to ben. if you ever read this i would never lie to you purposly and im gonna end with that because im tired bitches, so good night. on a happier note, i get to go to ocean shores THIS WEEKEND. 'Hopefully you’ll forget, Any words that I put in print. My luck, you’ll change, Have strength enough to walk away.' god i know that lyric is everywhere in here but i love it. and it completely fits this entry. Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 27,June,2004 | Well, im gonna make this entry quick. I just got back from the waterpark. it was me tanaua and lauren, it was cool. we met a guy, he followed us around and then he came up and told us his name was Jason. i like that name. he looked like the main singer of rancid. Mowhawk and all baby! ok well i had to tell you that because it was pretty funny. but i think were going to meet anthony or do something so im out suckas. ill end with a quote 'she wouldnt dance with another.. woo.. and i saw her standing there' i leave in 5 days! Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 27,June,2004 | urlLink AAHH! i look like i have no face!! urlLink hah. this is on the bus on the way back from the cruise. the lighting was wierd and my face looks.. well.. not there.. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 26,June,2004 | good day. i got to hang out with a really cool guy... you know who you are.... not that your like ever online... i wanna do something tommorow.. Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 26,June,2004 | yah. i actually put a song for a title. hmm.. thats not like me. but then again i dont feel like me. i havent talked to any of the people that i usually talk to all the time for like three days. i think this is one of those times when you trying to avoid all the shit youve buried yourself in, and you just cant admit it. well at least i can admit it. i wanna go somewhere, and never come back. i wanna run away from my problems. and thats not me AT ALL so once again, i think im going insane, im also listening to new rock. which i dont do very often. and i heard dashboard confessional on the radio. why do people like that stuff. it sucks, they have no talent, NONE. now BOSTON they have talent. if anyone whnts to buy me there cd for my birthday that would be wonderful(i only have thier album on record). (my birthdays august 10th) hah. your gonna be buying alot of presents around that time. because thats also close to a few other cool cats birthdays.... and if your cool you know who those people are. ok well since i havent talked to alot of you in a while, i went ice skating, it was cool i guess i just didnt know anyone really, but its all good. it got me outta the house. and then taylor came over saturday morning. on friday i got in a jet ski crash and got a scar on my head. me and taylor watched silence of the lambs. i almost crapped my pants. she just left a little while ago, and now im writing and i think im going end this and get online so i dont feel like im running away from my problems. ... dont worry im not a complainer, but im listening to this GOD DAMN DEPPRESING music. how can people do this all day.... .. ah. its pink floyd, i think im happier ALREADY.. Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 26,June,2004 | ok.. well when i first made this someone (i think it was lauren) told me i should put some of the stuff ive wrote in it.. and im really scared because i really dont let many people read them. But if i want to be a better musician i have to take criticism so please read these and give me any feedback.. good or bad. Perfection Oh, how he is designed with such a perfection, He is not pure nor washed, With flaws of unhuman liberties, With hands of gold and eyes of silver, The creator of all that was unholy, Deliriously simple and reverance, With a polar mind and a tender heart, Just as the red eyed dove, Hes rabid as humanitys imperfections, He is the most ethereal of all autumns. Jaime See jaime's talking, dreams rollin off his lips, smiles to a greek tragedy as he turns his hips, jaime screams as the clock gives one more toll, 'un-die my heart, unlift my soul!' Rose is one more flower blooming in his heart, while all of his lies her thorns impart, please, oh please world remove this curse, this is only so horrid because ive never seen worse, and jaime deteriorates as humanity unfurls she will always be his seed pearl. yeah..those are 2 that i wrote recently.. i hope there not too bad. P.S. NO i dont know anyone name jaime its a name i use to fill because it goes with the song. P.S.S. Dont ask who i like either because the forst one isnt about ANYONE its about the perfect guy.. (that doesent happen to exist:() Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 25,June,2004 | hah. i just learned that song so noew its in my head... i got to take out the jet skis today and i saw my friend, it was cool, we raced. and I (not him, ME) won. and now its friday and im sitting here, i think i might go for a walk later. i feel kind of sick though. i got my gradtuation present from my grandparents and i get a private teacher for my bass! eeee i have wanted this for so long. nicole is trying to get me to go to castle ice. hah. good luck with that i HATE skating. IM GONNA ROCAK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT! AND PARTY EVERY DAY! IIMM GONNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT. AND PARTY EVERY SINGLE DAY..... and that is what i intend to do bitches. yeah my dad was listening to that song. so i can hear it. considering hes right next door.. ok. nicole won im going to castle ice. better start walkin. BYE SUCKAS Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 24,June,2004 | i thought i needed to let everyone know that im gonna miss you guys so much this summer and ANYTIME anyone wants to hang out i completely want too because i dont wanna lose touch with anyone. thats right not even YOU! so i better see you this summer horn dogs! (horn dogs?) Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 24,June,2004 | hey.. when auna told me to make one of these i thought id get mad at it and forget it but its actually pretty cool.. it feels like it gives me power. maybe thats wierd but it does. today was umm.. eventful. i woke up at laurens and we ate and then auna spent like 4 hours on the phone talking to people trying to get them to go to the movies, we eneded up only getting like a couple people.. well 4 besides us 4... then we came to my house. this week has been enlightening, and that sounds cheesy. but it has. i told someone something that took alot of guilt that ive been holding away. and the truth is i was proud of myself for telling them. but of course with every proud moment theres consequences. and they thought i had bad intentions. of course i didnt, and i know that, and i guess thats all that matters really.. but it still upsets me that friends i thought i had think i would do certain things that completely ARENT me. i guess my friends dont know me as well as i thought. besides that i realized alot of things and learned alot of things aboutmyself and other people, i mostly realized that i needed to start focusing on myself and not everyone else because once high school over this little dramatic world is all gonna be gone, and that is what i intend to do. besides that we went to the movies eventually and chris told us that white chicks was playing at issaquah, IT WASNT. so we hung around there and then the guys left and we saw garfield which was a kick ass movie by the way i wanted to laugh my ass off the whole time. then on the way home we all stuck our faces out the window and it felt soo cool, it was like being a dog as lauren put it. now im home telling everyone my day and i need to get in the shower bad. Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 24,June,2004 | Yeah, so...this is my BLOG! Ha, my blog!!!! SO SO Proud OF IT! Its great! I always wondered what it would be like to have something I wrote published on the internet... AND OH... I GOT IT! I'm going to put pretty much everything in it...not sure if its going to be that interesting, but...what can I do. Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 30,July,2004 | hey... its been a while... but the last couple days days seem to be getting better for me so i dont feel like i have much to write about. my birthday may not be a living hell after all. i think i found something to do.. teals moving this month. its scary. i dont want her to leave, i dont know if i could SURVIVE without her here. oh well, its only to kirkland, so i will see her alot. its still a very scary thought. i guess up until now i always figured they were just talking about moving.. and now that they actually found a house its starting to set in. ive done alot in the last couple days so im not even gonna bother telling you, not like you care. anyway im watching dawsons creek so i really cant focus on what im writing at the moment. ugh, i hate sappy love shows... they never fail to make you feel alone... urlLink urlLink urlLink dedicating this post to teal, im gonna miss her so much |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 28,July,2004 | still dont know what to do for my birthday. dammit i hate my birthday its stressful. last year was easy becasue kim did most of the planning. but NO not this year.. this year i do... nothing. someone told me i was a hopeless romantic today. tasha said i was too. i donyt know if thats true, but it sounds cool.. rosalee.. a hopeless romantic.. hah. yeah i like the sound of it. anyways last night i went to this concert thing with tasha i saw the biggest wigger i think ive ever seen. it was funny he was following us and he was like 'hey b' and we were like 'hey fag'. hah. great. i also saw this really cool guy at the skate park, he rode his bike and he was very good. i liked him. he was the only one that wasnt a stoner. i wish i knew someone like that... tonight i am going to see napoleon dynamite with people (dont know exactly who yet). hhmm.. later skaters... even though i STILL dont know any COOL skaters.. so your not even desserving of that name. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 27,July,2004 | just got back from cresent bar. it was tons of fun. not much has happened. my birthdays still coming up and i still dont know what to do. hhhmmm... i hate birthdays. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 18,July,2004 | i need you to need me.. hah. just listened to that song. im leaving for cresent bar tommorow with lauren :). auna is asleep behind me right now. and i wanna listen to music but i dont want to wake her. FUCK YOU SHARK. hah. sorry. i so stole that from you veronica but oh well. we like it now. lets start where i left off on my last entry. on thursday i went over to aunas and me and her and teal went to the movies and saw fucking sleepover. hell yeah... then i stayed at aunas and it was fucking fun. we had a mad party. hah. then friday i went home and hung out with a friend down the street, you wouldnt know. saturday was my dads birthday auna came over and spent the night. that was cool too. tonight i think laurens coming over. so pretty much i havent done much but i got to see auna alot which i dont get to very often so it was cool. ben left for kentucky. thats sucks. i didnt even get to say fucking bye. probly doesent care... whatever... i miss everyone actually. im seeing my friends less and less and it sucks. my birthday is august 10th. not sure what im doing but you can buy me a present:) i fucking hate things right now. maybe i shouldnt but i feel so god damn alone. (trying not to complain so ill smile :) ) i havent dated anyone in like a year. what the fuck? anyways.. im out dickface. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 13,July,2004 | dependent urlLink Which Personality Disorder Do You Have? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla am i? hhmm.. maybe i am.. i wouldnt kill myself over anyone though. thats for losers. You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people feel that they have known you their entire life. Many often open up to you for they view you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although people trust you, you have a hard time trusting them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled up inside, or display them very quietly. It is alright to open up every once in a while. urlLink Which kind of candy are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla i hate chocolate. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 11,July,2004 | i just got back from warped tour with teal and nick and nick. warped tour was freaking awesome. early november was the best act. i 'Now all i can see is the smiles, we'll fall asleep, and now im scared' |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 10,July,2004 | uh. its 7.30 in the morning, i didnt sleep much at all, my dad just had to cook fish at midnight, which is a problem because i sleep on the couch, and if you know my house you know the kitchen practically IS the living room too. i hate the smell of fish. i went through a whole bottle of febreeze trying to get the smell away. i ended up sleeping on the front porch at like 4, and at like 5.30 i was rudely awoken by the neighbors fat ass dog. anyways im about to leave for warped tour as soon as teal and the 'nicks' get here. hah. yeah 2 of them, how confusing is that? anyway. ill be ack tommorow so until then... |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 09,July,2004 | its funny how everytime you get in a fight with a friend you think man if i could just have them back everyhting wouls be fine. but then when you do have them back, its still not enough. the trth is, i want someone to love. cheesyiest thing you ever heard right? but its true. i hate seeing love movies or people who are so happy together knowing that i dont have that. i cant stand it. and the more it makes me realize. i wanna be in love. i want someone whos not amazing or perfect. i want someone whos just normal, who screws up, because i screw up too. but im loyal, and i never feel like i have to see other people because i could be with the same person forever and be fine with that. i see guys getting hurt by girls who just want to be with other guys and those guys still love them and i dnt even need that and i still dont have someone like that. all i want is someone who will say they love me. who will be there when im scared or sad. dont have to always be there, but just to be held and feel safe. i hate seeing guys chase girls who dont want that! i guess i just want to hear 'i love you' thats the cheesiest thing ive ever wrote but im a cheesy person. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 08,July,2004 | ive been really tired all week. ever since ive got back from ocean shores i just dont want to get out of bed. whats the point anyway? i saw butterfly effect yesterday i loved it so much.i got sick of saying what ive been doing since you probably dont care. so im gonna start telling you other stuff. were still loooking for someone to take laurens place at warped tour. we have an extra ticket. my birthdays next month. if anyone has an idea of what i should do tell me. i have no idea. i got a call today from that special someone and it made me feel alot better. he said im the first girl hes ever been close to and sometimes he gets shy around me and thats why hes quiet. it made me feel really good. bye suckers |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 07,July,2004 | why do guys beat themselves up over girls who dont want them? PLEASE someone tell me. i dont think ill ever get it, maybe im an idiot but somehow i dont comprehend. its always the best guys too, the ones that have so much that almost any girl would be willing to treat them good. but no, they pick the wilted ones. I hate it, and this isnt about one person so dont ask me who, its about quite a few. dont do it. just stop it before no one wants you anymore. i give up. because my comments are either taken as bad intentions, or a lieing heartbreaker, if thats what people think so be it. i can handle it. but im gonna say this out to ALL the guys who at this moment are thinking abut a girl who isnt thinking about them, give up, stop trying to tell yourself she is thinkig about you because shes not. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 06,July,2004 | ok. lets start off from the last post i made. well i went to ocean shores and i brought teal. i had a great time, and i wish i didnt have to come home. so i came home last night and did some stuff and went to bed. now lets move on to Warped Tour because thats whats good right now. Warped Tour is next weekend and i and so fucking excited you have no idea. lauren backed out and now we have an extra ticket i think nick asked james to come but i dont know if he is yet. i hope he can, ive never been really friends with him but he seems cool. so here i am at my last topic, the topic im scared shitless to talk about. next year. next year i enter liberty. ok thats not the bad part. Teals fucking moving to who knows where and isnt going there, i havent talked to lauren since i left for ocean shores but her blog said she wasnt going to liberty i dont know what thats fucking about but if she leaves i sware i dont know what ill do. if anyone whos reading this doesent know nuch about me, lauren is my best friend and shes been there since third grade and i dont know if i know how to function without her. i fucking hate this. teal is my other best friend, shes the one who is always there for me at the last second when no one else is. besides that i have acqaintances and other friendships, and dont get me wrong i love those people to death, man thier my world. but if they both leave i will be nothing. i wanna shoot my own head off i hate this. maybe im a fucking drama queen but this is high school i wanna have fun and i cant do that. if you wanna be my friend IM me, because as of next year ill be lucky if i have any. if you all also didnt know, i believe in karma, and i believe you desserve every bad thing you get and earn every good one. i know i havent been the best person but i dont know what i did to desserve this. and im stealing aunas post dedications but i dedicate this post to all my freinds who arent leaving, and to the hope that laurens really not leaving and that thing in her blog isnt true. 'still waiting for the good karma ive earned to kick the fuck in.' Lee |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 03,July,2004 | I just listened to that song. I like it alot. anyways yesterday was a pretty laid back day i slept in and then got online and talked to peole then i went to laurens and then me and lauren came here to try to get people to come to the movies on friday, its now friday and not only can i not find lauren, we havent really gotten anyone either. So, i think im gonna be sitting here until i leave tommorow morning, because obviously no one even cares that im leaving. i dont mean to sound whiny.. thats not me at all. i guess im just in one of those days where everythings just bllaa. The summers not as great as it was supposed to be because all my plans are folding. even warped tour, the only thing i was looking forward to is dieing, lauren cant go so now i have to find someone to take her ticket. once agian im left cleaning up shit. on the up side everyone else is having a really good summer which really does make me happy, but i just wonder when its gonna be my turn. oh well im leaving tommorow morning im very excited to see people i havent seen in a while so i probably wont be writing for long. so until then... ill leave you a quote that i like. hah because its already in here but o well.. a little reminder.. 'hopefully youll forget, any words that i put in print. my luck, youll change, have stregnth enough to walk away.' Lee |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 01,July,2004 | well. yesterday teal came over at 9 and woke me. man i was tired. then i had to get ALL the way out of bed and meet lauren at maywood. lol. then we hung out here.. it was fun. we put on our pest control shirts and stuffed them so we looked fat and hung around the neighborhood. funny stuff. then lauren went home and me and teal went to the mall. i got the coolest clothes. it made me happy, anyway, then i came home and went to bed. then i woke up at 7. yeah 7 AM!! and left at 8.30 for liberty soccer practice. ran a mile. eh. dont like running, oh well, came home took shower. i miss someone really bad. its making me really sad, it sucks to miss someone who doesent care. anyway thats all. Lee~ |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 17,August,2004 | special needs girl: 'Mary your my hero'.. Mary: 'no im not.... trust me in no ones hero' ^^aww.. if youve ever seen that 7th heaven episode that parts so sad.. i just might have shed a tear.. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 15,August,2004 | hmm.. what have i been doing... last night auna came over. super fun. the crazy neighbor was trying to kill us and she was like watching our house. i thought it was scary. hah. we started a 'band' if thats what you even wanna call it.. its just more like two musicians with too much spare time. so anywho.. then today we had ben and james and griffin and george over. fun too. went to briarwood market and bought a squash that looked like a penis. i had my first official bass lesson on saturday.... i liked it. my teachers really cool. anyways it was nice seeing everyone today.... i missed ALL of you... i miss teal too, shes in ohio. she comes back on tuesday:). hmm.. i dont know what else to say.. heres facts that i bet YOU dont know.. auna has cool drums.. the seat is heavy.. hah.. bens earrings are my birthstone.. my room is messy.. shawn got a pretty new guitar.. my neighbors a murderer.. this is the first entry in a while that ive actually told what i did... hhmm.. bye bye. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 13,August,2004 | i feel sick. i wanna puke and my head is pounding. i have this wierd feeling in my stomach. i guess its the butterfly feeling. which is wierd because im not even talking to anyone. i only wanna talk to one person. but i cant. because im a wimp. i dont know why im a wimp. i never used to be a wimp. im still not a wimp. but you make me feel like a wimp. you also make me feel creative. this morning i made a scrapbook and a collage that is now hanging in my room behind my couch. errrr. the butterfly feeling is coming back. and when you have a stomach ache butterflys dont help. i cant eat and i cant sleep. i hate today. wow i have never felt like this before. this is very anti-rosalee. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 12,August,2004 | i hate being an only child. i hate having to stay home all day and clean. dont get me wrong... i do alot of things actually, and i dont really mind cleaning.. but the days that i do stay home are horrible. you wake up in silence, an empty house, and it remains that way all day. sometimes i call people.. just to assure myself that i havent gone mute. what choice do i have? theres NO ONE else to talk to. or sometimes i turn on the radio just to sing along, hear myself. hear ANYTHING. i know it seems funny that im writing in my journal about silence. but the truth is that its pure torture hearing it. no person can stand pure silence, thats why in the silence we think, we fill our minds with thoughts about anything we can just to mask the silence, and when you stay home all day, continuing to fill your mind with thoughts it actually becomes worse then screaming, because this time the screams are in your head. thats why the truth is that theres no such thing as awkward silences, silence is an illusion. just a piece of mind. something to think about... something to mask the silence. |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 10,August,2004 | although it actually wasnt a hell this year.. well well... todays my real birthday. i slept all day. hah. thats ok because ive been doing stuff for my birthday for like the last week. but i feel like i havent slept for a month. this is like the first time in my life that ive been extremely tired. yesterday i went to seattle. with teal and lauren and auna and tasha.. natalie was supposed to come.. she had to leave last minute:(. i didnt get to do anything big the night before because i thought chris was having a party and i didnt want to ruin it for him.. even though he never had it. oh well. Brendan came over last minute. that was very nice of him. im not gonna bore you with what ive done all week. to sum it up. good week, i love seattle, and no one died this year on my birthday. thats suprising... urlLink the love of my life..... |
3,742,504 | female | 15 | indUnk | Leo | 05,August,2004 | hah. ^thats a line from dawsons creek. sorry i really havent written lately.. ive been busy. my birthday still isnt going to be as great as i hoped but i think things are finally starting to fall in place. at least no one died this year... or at least havent yet. i got a private teacher for my birthday. im really happy i wanna get better so im not scared to play around people. it would be nice to be able to play around my friends without being scared out of my mind. i get to go shopping in seattle too with a bunch of friends.. now i just have to decide who.... i learned 'my generation' on my bass. this is a big step up for me. that is the hardest song ive learned yet. im real proud of myself.. and to think only like 9 months ago all i could do was look at it and wish i could play it. hhmm.. im hungry now so bye bye. |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 23,August,2004 | Lately this has been a challenge for me. Sometimes I feel like 'charly' from the movie of the same name. I need to talk to people who have the same interests that I have. Who can spark my creativity and make me feel like being social again. That's why I hate group therapy. The group I'm in has people who complain about the same damn thing over and over again, yet refuse to make a move to change one damn thing. They ask your advice, you give it, listen to them and they come back next week and complain about the same things. Some aren't willing to do the work and I am no longer willing to listen. Ten plus years of that is too much, I need to work on me. But I also realize I need to be more social. Dilemma. So I took a risk am seeking out an old friend. She could always inspire me and I care for her deeply. I need her back in my life. Someone to talk too who has a brain. My best friend has a brain, but he's not always available. And I'm a bit needy right now. It's not fair to depend upon him entirely. When I first became BiPolar I felt like I had walked into stupidville. Like all my smarts were just out of reach and I couldn't touch them anymore. So much confusion and lack of concentration. I don't get real manic like some bipolars, I get depressed more than anything. But I have the right meds and therapy and I've done some hard fucking work to get where I am now. And I'll continue to face the issues and do the work and improve, like I'm doing now. Whatever it takes. I can read books again. But I go through phases, sometimes I can plow through three Patricia Cornwell novels. Other times I can't make it past page one. I have good intentions though and I keep trying. Sometimes I feel my intellect is fading. Like all things, you have to keep it in practice, and I haven't. Conversation keeps my mind sharp and I need a good one. |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 21,August,2004 | I've been thinking about relationships and could I actually do the do. The whole couple thing. I was in one a year ago. I couldn't even hold his hand in the street. Uncomforitable as hell, awkward. Wrong guy needless to say. When I'm in that paired off state, I get nervous and terribly self conscious and unsure of myself. I make all kinds of mistakes, I'm a wreck. That's in public. But that's when I'm with 'the wrong guy'. The guy I don't feel natural around. The one that doesn't allow me to be myself. Personally, I stay away from relationships. Too much compromising. Sure I'm willing to change things and give and take. But, if I'm not allowed to be who I am as a person, forget it. Supposedly, 'who I am' is part of what attracted you to me in the first place, not 'who I could become'. I don't like to be accountalbe for my actions or to put myself in the position where I'm set up for verbal abuse. Been there, done that. Never again. My last relationship was very verbally abusive. It made me feel like I did when I was growing up, which is why I probably let it go on for as long as I did. Old habits. In many ways he reminded me of my father. I was weak, still mourning my uncle, in need of some attention. So much of me knew better, but I was weak at the time. I wised up, got stronger and got rid of him. Never again. I'm left with feelings of mistrust. A huge desire to be alone, which was there all the time. And a greatfulness that I'll never have to see him again, although for some reason I still talk to him. He's one of those manipulators you just can't get rid of in your life. But distance and will keep him out of mine. There's no love lost on him. Just concern, I expect to hear he's dead one of these days. His life is that fucked. He taught me that 'Even flowers have their dangers and nice is different than good.' That's from Into The Woods, one of my favorite plays. So I keep my life simple by keeping to myself. Sometimes I miss male companionship. Then I remember the consequences and hope that one day I wont feel this way. But I doubt it, I'd rather be safe than sorry. Too many predators out there. Too much bullshit involved in keeping up a relationship, even a healthy one. |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 20,August,2004 | I've been dealing with loss for quite some time. The loss of my sister, my uncle, my dog. But that's more like mourning. I don't think I've fully recovered from my uncles death, the most recent one. I can't talk about my sister, so I guess that's still kinda ripe. My dog, Murphy Brown, only fond memories. Guess I've moved pass that and onto loving Chianna now, although it was hard. My sister. She made me smile alot. We weren't the closest of kin, but we had fun and could talk if necessary. I miss her. I think what I miss most is having a sister. It's a wonderful feeling which I highly reccomend. Having someone there to share in the family experiences who is also a girl, way cool. It's a great bond. Like I said, we weren't the best of friends. Our relationship was getting better as we got older and over the sibling rivalry shit. Her attitude towards me had changed and she saw me for who I really was, not some brat. Whom I never was, thank you. Things were getting nicer, and then she got sicker and sicker and then she died. So much death in my family. My uncle died next. I never realized how much he meant to me. How close I actually felt towards him. I think it was because when we use to go out driving, I use to pretend that he was my father. Rather than my real father, who caused me nothing but mental anguish. Sure, I understand the who, what, where, when and how's of my father's existance. I fully understand them. But they don't excuse his treatment of me. Especially when my mother was there to show him a better way. He went behind her back to verbally and mentally torture us. But that's for another day. My mother says I'm alot like my uncle, the brains and sense of humor. I wish I had a chance to know him better. But as I got older, he became more of a recluse and ill. He died in the hospital and I cried harder for him than I did for my father. Go figure. Things were good for me before his death, I was doing pretty well. Getting out more and exercising daily. I haven't been able to get back to that place of contentment yet. And now I'm dealing with the LOSS THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED. I had a very good conversation with my friend tonight. He's able to put his past behind him and not think in the terms of loss and just keep living. Sure, he's had losses. But he doesn't dwell or stuff. I need to get to that point. And the only way to get there is to deal with the main loss that I refuse to face and discuss. But, I really can't do it because my therapist is on vacation. LOL. Seriously, I don't know where these thoughts are gonna take me. Either I'll want to eat the whole world, or plunge into a deep depression. I could put it all here, but that would turn into a whining fest. I'll figure something out. http://roulette67.diaryland.com/082104.html |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 20,August,2004 | Life is so 'liveable' when paranoia passes. Friends are friendlier, familia is more like family. And I am more like myself. Needless to say my best friend called. I dare not tell him where my mind went. Why, he'd laugh at me. Not the first time. Besides, these thoughts are fleeting and I shouldn't pay them any attention. Should have done more constructive things than entertain them, duh. yada yada, I know all that shit. Anyways, I wrote my first fan letter EVER. Gonna mail it today. We'll see what happends. Probably nothing, but it's nice to get your thoughts out in the air, even if nobody is listening. At least you know they were said. Had this dream that a guy had blown up the safe to all the toys in the world. Then he was like this Colombian drug lord and had this incredible security, but couldn't trust them because people kept falling asleep on duty while guarding the toys. And his ranks were infiltrated by spies. Real cool dream. The guy said, 'What's the use in having all the worlds toys if you can't even play with them.' He's too busy guarding them to enjoy their purpose. My dreams have been pretty strange lately. From the war one with arms and legs being blown off. To the one where I'm in this mental institution and there are all these bags of garbage and bottles and I'm trying to clean them out of my room. I'm thinking I've only been there for a short time, this garbage can't be mine because there is so much. And everything is white, even the trash bags. |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 18,August,2004 | I'm not sure why today should be different from any other day. But I just feel that i should write. Things are boreing in my life. There is nothing that is there to make things different, but even if there were. I'm not sure if I could handle any type of excitement. Not sure what I can do to change things. Not sure what I'm able to handle. But I need to do something and soon. I pass my time with writing and my dog. You get enough of my wrting here, so here's my dog. http://home.comcast.net/~chicnoir-7/chieat.jpg |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,August,2004 | I've always believed in a soulmate. Someone with whom you would automatically click. That deep friend/lover/bond. Where you could be yourself without shame or fear of judgement. Not two people as one, but two people who complement each other, two individuals together. Looks like I'm gonna be alone. LOL. To me a relationship should be sharing and caring. Never dominating. In some ways, relationships scare the shit out of me. The closeness. But with the right person, it would be as natural as breathing. I know this, I can feel it. I'm a romantic deep down. But life has made me extra wary of so many things. Doubting the possibility of ever acheiving happiness with another person. I like my solitude at times and at other times the lonliness kills. But you are never truly alone in this world. I use to say things just to shock strangers, that's what they get for listening to my conversations. But now I don't care. So much of life is not caring lately. I think it's a defence. Back to love. I'm not in love with anyone. No soulmate in my life. Just ideas. |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 14,August,2004 | 'Doctor, doctor help me please. I know you'll understand. There's a time device inside of me, I'm a self destructing man.' I've been phoning my friend, his phone doesn't work. I call the cell and he says 'I'll call you back'. Which means forget it, I'm not calling you back in LA language. Needless to say, I get paranoid. Like there's some plot to keep me from talking to my best friend. Or maybe he doesn't want to talk to me because he's got this 'life' and and I don't and there's no time for the looser. My mind goes places. But I don't take my friends there, just my mind. I know it's irrational. I don't entertain these thoughts for more than the instant they are there. But they occur. I reccognize them, say goodbye and go on my merry way. I only get paranoid about not being able to reach my best friend. I guess it's a sign of insecurity where that is concerned. He's a male and the first and the only positive male relationship I have ever had in my life. So it's important to me. Probably more important than anyone will ever realize. Probably too important. My emotions have been all over the place with our friendship and I am so glad that I have nailed down it's importance, before I sabotaged the whole thing. I love the guy, he's my teacher, my confidant, my brother, my friend. i just wish we could spend more time together. But such is life. Take what you can get, when you can get it. Friends are hard to find for me. I have maybe a few associates but only two real friends. And that's by choice. Not everyone is your friend. One has to remember that, especially when it comes to secrets and good deeds and trust. |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 13,August,2004 | I recently saw this story on American Justice. It bothered me because it concerned Mental Illness and the Death Penalty. The man Daniel Colwell gunned down two elderly people in front of a Walmart back in 2001; in hopes of getting the death penalty because he couldn't commit suicide himself. He was a paranoid schitzophrenic and bipolar, not to mention depressed. Here are some links if you want the whole story. http://www.walb.com/global/story.asp?s=237031&ClientType=Printable http://www.nodeathpenalty.org/newab029/ 11_DanielColwell.html http://www.geocities.com/gfadp/colwell011203.html Now my thoughts. When I became mentally ill my first refuge was the internet. Luckily I found others here who were looking for the same thing. Someone to listen, someone who understood and someplace I wouldn't be judged. I also became aware of the difficult situation many people have just trying to get help. They see different doctors each time they go for treatment. So no one really knows if the medication is working. The nearest doctor is 'miles' away or there are no qualified psychiatrists or psychologists in their area. I've heard so many stories like this, and it's saddening. These people suffer all their lives. If you saw the episode of American Justice, you would think he was rationale [sp] and for the most part, he was; choosing his victim and making sure they were dead. Pleading and pleading for death. Pleading for an end to his suffering. It's a shame two people had to die because the mental health care system and stygma stink in this country. He was ashamed of his illness. Of what his family might think. What others might think. To hell with others, what about you. What about your mind and your survival. They'll get over it, but you won't without help. Once Colwell was on his medication in jail he was lucid and didn't want to die and appealed. But I guest the beast got the best of him. The depression beast, the bipolar beast, whatever you wanna call it. He hung himself the beginning of last year. Is it true that all things can be prevented in hindsight? Uneccessary. Something has to be done about help for the mentally ill in rural areas in this country. |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,August,2004 | You tell me. New Jersey is never the first with much of anything. Now we are the first state to have a govenor out himself and resign. History man. Personally, if the guy was doing a good job, what's the problem if he was gay or not. But he was married and sneaking around on his wife, so that was bad buisness politically. Something to hold over his head. So I guess he had to do what he did today. I wonder how long he knew he was gay? I think if your gay you should live your life that way and just avoid trying to do the hetero thing. It causes more problems than just being who you are and trying to start a new life as a gay person. Sure there will be some family that wont accept you, but there are so many places and people in this country which accept gay people and their lifestyle. Mentally it's the best way to go. I can't imagine living a lie for others. I could never do that. |
4,212,358 | female | 37 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,August,2004 | It amazes me the way my mind works. How I can crash and bail or soar with the eagles from day to day. Sure meds are great when they work, but they aren't the end all cure all. Hi, call me Roulette. I'm a Bipolar female from NJ. I write and sleep and try to get a grip on things in my mind. Currently I've gon through a few changes which I'll cover as they come to mind. Family friends and hopes and aspirations. Maybe even some politics, which I avoid because there is no logic involved in the whole science. I live in a suburb which has seen better days as societies problems creep into my little town. Gangs, drugs and poverty. It scares me. So much sometimes I can't sleep. I see drive by's in every passing car and bullets flying thru my window. It's not that bad, but then again. Who knows. I have a dog named Chianna and I live alone. I love movies and a few other things. I'm working on a screenplay and myself. Nuff said. |
3,342,132 | male | 25 | Technology | Leo | 19,June,2004 | Did the g mail f ree the e mail market? Definitely does look like it. At least it's made the free email market competitive with urlLink Yahoo giving 100MB and others like urlLink Rediff giving 1GB. Now, is it really the space that matters? Does size really matter? Yes, it would to a certain extent. But, how much of personal email space would we really be using? Isn't 1GB or even 100MB a bit too much? To gain a better perspective on this, imagine that till a week back Yahoo premium users were getting 25MB for about $19.99! Now, there is a 4 time explosion of previously premium mail space available for free! Me, not being such an avid mailer would possibly end up using about 10 to 15 MB max. And am sure, most of us fall into this category. So, is the wrong battle being fought? I may be totally wrong here, but as the Mahabharatha says, 'There is no muni who has not had an opinion of his own' :-) The sheer size of these accounts 100MB and 1GB makes them like a virtual drive. So, what would anyone expect from a virtual drive? Find things in them as fast as possible. So, this opens up the pandora's box of Cataloging and searching. Gmail is purported to do most of this. But, all information I have about gmail is second hand as I don't have a gmail account. I do have an yahoo account and their search in mails is still primitive. It lets a full text search, but with that much space means that many more mails. So, unless they improve the cataloging and searching, I don't see this going anywhere. It is just some bloated email space for me unless they do smart stuff like possibly customized bayesian filtering and meta data management for cataloging. Is the email space going to become a content management space? Maybe, it really is a personal content management space with RSS reading and blogging capabilites inbuilt. Some food for thought. |
3,342,132 | male | 25 | Technology | Leo | 16,June,2004 | Ran across an article in the recent edition of the Scientific American. It proposed solutions for the patent system reform. The Patent system has been much maligned for issuing patents that are neither novel nor practical. The patenting blunders are especially visible in the software industry as the capacity to innovate (or term something as innovation) are very very high. The USPTO may not be equipped to handle this overwhelming number of patent requests. As Sir Tim Berners Lee (Inventor of the WWW) clearly states in this urlLink article , 'It's really important that they put tremendous restrictions on or complete abolition of software patents' . If Sir Tim Berners Lee had decided to patent his idea in 1989, the growth of the www would have been stunted and we may never have had an unifying internet! Scary thought that. Take a look at these recent patents of urlLink Microsoft and urlLink IBM . If two of the biggest names in the personal and enterprise computing industry go about patenting such triviality. Then, you never know what's gonna happen as the days go by. Another such blimey by the USPTO is possibly the infamous Amazon ' urlLink one-click' patent. Although there was no pre-existing patent or paper, it gave amazon.com exclusive rights to a practice that was widely used in the software industry at that time. According to the Scientific American article, two economists Adam Jaffe of Brandeis University and Josh Lerner of Harvard Business School are coming up with a book urlLink Innovation And Its Discontents: How Our Broken Patent System Is Endangering Innovation and Progress, and What to Do About It that brings out the shortcomings of the existing system and suggests ideas for revamping it. Their suggestions in brief that I picked from the article are, * Most patents considered 'economically unimportant' would get only a cursory examination as they wouldn't raise many objections. Excepting those cases would let examiners spend more time on the critical cases. * After the examiner decides that a patent can be issued, a 'pre-grant opposition' process would begin that allowed others to point to 'prior art' indicating that the patent is not innovative or inventive. * Even if a prior art cannot be found and patent is granted, it may still not meet the requisite obviousness standard e.g. the amazon 'one-click' patent. So, a review and re-examination procedure needs to be in place to avoid such blunders. * Even after all these, bad patents would still be granted. The authors suggest that judges, not juries rule in these cases, increasing likelihood that plaintiffs would get a fair hearing. These may not be the best solution on offer and everyone may not be in agreement with them. But, what everyone agrees is that the patent system needs to be revamped. Otherwise, there may arise extreme situations like in the netherlands, where the patenting system was abolished between 1869 and 1910 because it was issuing patents for everything. Most open source advocates would definitely love that when it comes to software patents :-) |
3,342,132 | male | 25 | Technology | Leo | 14,June,2004 | The idea to blog has been on my mind for a long time. But, never got myself to physically blog something. Have been mentally doing that for a very long time. Over phone one day, my dear friend urlLink Karthik who is an Usabiliy Analyst, suggested that I should start blogging. He had initially insisted that I set up a site. But, maintaining a site is too much overhead. It is much easier to blog which I feel is almost like a scribble pad where you jot down your thoughts as and when they arise. One thing I've really noticed and it may be just me, is that as time goes by the your thoughts/ideas tend to fade away and you start feeling that whatever remains may not be worth jotting down. Then came across this urlLink interesting article by Bob Cringley of PBS. His thoughts are very interesting as to how the Blog is a personal posting and could be used for personal data mining at a later date. That's a very unique way of looking at the art of blogging. It really doesn't matter if the subject you are blogging interests others as long as it captivates you. It's a personal diary on a public space. So better ensure that are no sensitive or personal details down here. Check out this urlLink article about how blogging and RSS can be used in the education space. We are already using a web logging/wiki tool at work for colloborative work and it has been really useful. The first time is always the most difficult. Hopefully will be blogging more frequently in the future. But, I've always been a sinecure. So, you never know. Let's see how it goes. |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 29,June,2004 | Hmmm... I kinda had the hunch of what it was. This message was sent to me thru YM from my cousin in New Jersey, Ate Carla. And then she told me her good news... 'I'm engaged!' I was so happy to hear the news! She told me all about the proposal and the 'gimmicks' Ron, my cousin's fiance, tried to pull off! It was funny! As of today, my cousin is planning to get married on October or November next year in New Jersey. I can't believe that there will be so much weddings next year... Yahoo!!! So MANY events to look forward to! I can't believe that FINALLY Ate Carla is getting married. Ate Cay and Ron have been together for some time now that you can imagine the excitement in our family when we heard the news. Although Ate Cay is in NJ and I'm here, we still get to 'chat' through YM every so often. Everytime we visit them, it is ALWAYS so much fun! Its fun just talking, laughing, and shopping whenever we're together. :) Ate Cay is very thoughtful... whenever someone is there to visit, she always makes sure that she has 'padala' to us here. It's so much fun that when it is time to leave, the scene in the airport is like that of a Filipino movie... iyakan! I can't help to be really emotional! I enjoy their company so much that I will really miss them. I can't wait to see them again! To Ate Cay and Ron, CONGRATULATIONS! See you guys next year! ;) I promise to be there on your special day! |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 28,June,2004 | Diagnosis: Glasses Just came from doctor today and I have to start wearing glasses! According to the doctor, one eye has astigmatism (spelling?!?!) and the other is nearsighted. And, my eye grade went up a bit. I guess its due to working in front of the computer the whole day! Hay! Can't wait to see myself in glasses. I wonder how I'll look... Yuck! Vain! hehe! ;) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 25,June,2004 | TGIF Last Friday, I had dinner with my PolEco College blockmates. Present were Iyay (and Dino), Fe (and Popo), Elyse, Ann, and myself. It was too bad that the others were not able to make it but just the same, we had lots of fun! We had dinner in Cibo in Rockwell and had some drinks after. Our laughter filled the whole restaurant as we talked about our college teachers, some of our other blockmates (hehe!) and unforgettable experiences. There were some instances that I have forgotten already and just remembered as we were telling each other stories. I hope we have more of these in the future! TGIS Saturday . It was nice to unwind with a night out with friends after a week of grueling work. Bern and I have been planning this G since Monday and I was really looking forward to it. Haven't been out for a loooooooong time now! Bern, Ina, and I first went to a launch to get a few drinks... for free! Hehe! Of course, I didn't drink as much so sayang lang! We then ment up with Sabs, Anne, Mich, and Nins in Greenbelt. Fun! We took pics (thanks to Sabs' reliable camera), which I will post later :)Had fun talking, laughing, and drinking! hehe! We then headed off to Capones to cap the night. It was too packed with people! Didn't really enjoy it there because it was so hot and there were just to much people. Went home after... So Tired! Sunday . Just stayed home the whole day to get some sleep! I was just home with my mom and we were constantly eating while watching tv! BAD!!! Talked to my siblings in Australia... miss them so much! Nic said it was freezing and Chay was in a friend's place. I woke Vik up and he wasn't too happy about that. Sorry kuya! *Pics to follow* |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 25,June,2004 | !Good Luck Auds! Lust like what I've mentioned, last night was Auds' despedida in CPK, Glorietta. All of Auds' close friends and relatives were there to wish her luck on her studies. The food was great... BBQ Chicken Salad, Pasta, Duck Pizza, Chocolate Souffle, and lots more! With me were my cousins from my dad's side. We don't see each other as often as my Penson cousins but just the same, we enjoyed each others company. :) Since we don't see each other as much, we had lots of catching up to do! We talked about the upcoming events... can you believe it?!?!? There are 3 upcoming Aquino weddings! WOW! First, my cousin Patricia (on December 2004), then my brother Andrei (on April 2005), and lastly, Auds (December 2005). Exciting!!!! Reunion. Tonight, I'll be having dinner with my college PolEco Blockmates... Iyay, Fe, Ann, Claire, Bey, and Liza. Some of them I haven't seen in ages... with the exception of Fe, who I practically see everyday since she works with Nic. I miss these guys. I miss our group studies. I miss the headaches caused by the long Pol readings. I miss hanging-out with them. I miss college. Period. It's really different from working. Im really looking forward to this dinner! All the reminiscing of our college days and all the fun we had! Pictures to follow :) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 24,June,2004 | Here are some of the highlights, so far, of this year... Father's Day . It was good timing that my brother, Drei, was here to spend it with my dad. For lunch, we were with the Penson's (my mom's side) and for dinner, it was me, drei, nic, mom, and dad in Good Earth. Good food, great company! Hong Kong . FUN! FUN! FUN! esp since it was just us kids. :) It was nice to be with my cousins and my sister. We all got along especially when it came to shopping! I just love bargaining (the Ilocana in me) and cheap stuff... good thing Ate Dinggay (who lives there with hubby Bryan and kids, Rafael and Miguel) was there to show us around. Expert shopper, I may add! Solo . Grrr! I've been trying so hard but I still can't seem to add my picture in the profile. I need help!!! Sabs? I know you're an expert na! urlLink Hong Kong Trip with my fave cousins Jill, Mayen, and Marga. Also with us is my twin, Nicole (extreme left) urlLink urlLink *Father's Day 2004* urlLink |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 23,June,2004 | I WISH. This has been in my thoughts for days now...or even weeks! I wish I could just hand in my resignation letter and walk out of the office feeling happy and content with what I've done. But, no. I have to be practical and think of the consequences that could result from this. And besides, I am not a quitter! Hehe! I think I'm just fooling myself... Tiring. *Sigh* I am really tired of hearing myself (and Kathy) complain of how much work we have. Thank God I have Kathy with me to 'share in my misery'! Hehe! I wish that sonner, and not later, this load of work will end! Hay! Nakakasawa to hear myself ranting over work! Not worth it! Despedida. Tonight is Auds' (my cousin) despedida party. She'll be leaving on Sunday for Madrid, Spain to study. Her fiance, Miguel, will be throwing her a dinner party in Makati. (note: Migs and Auds are getting married on Dec 2005... something to look forward to! So much weddings!) Lucky duck! Wish I could experience studying elsewhere and being independent. If everything goes according to plan, hopefully, next year. For now, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed! Adios! More updates tomorrow :) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 23,June,2004 | My First Entry. I know that since this is the first one, it should all be about Hello's. On the contrary, I've been saying bye-bye more often these days. It is the first time, since we were born, that my twin sister and I are separated. Nicole, my twin, left last night for a vacation in Sydney to visit my younger sister, Chay. I couldn't believe that Nic and I were bawling on our way to the airport. It was funny though since she'd only be gone for 3 weeks. Nevertheless, I was still sadden by her leaving. This morning, I brought my older brother, Andrei, to the airport. He came back to Manila last week for a week-long vacation from his MBA studies in Boston. I was surprised to catch myself calm as we said our goodbyes. I guess it helped that we've gone through this before (when he left for the first time). Oh ya! Just an update. My brother is engaged! That, too, was one of the reasons he came home to visit. He proposed to his girlfriend last Friday. My future sister-in-law, Lynn, has been with my brother for almost 3 years now and they've decided to 'tie the knot' on April. Honestly, I have mixed feelings on this. Don't get me wrong...I'm very happy for my brother. I guess its more of missing him. But otherwise, I am actually looking forward to this event. That's it for now... |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 30,July,2004 | I've always wanted to go to a comedy-music bar. Last Wednesday was the PERFECT time to visit one... My mom and her friends (aka my new barkada, according to Bern and urlLink Sabs ) planned on going to Klownz, Araneta a few weeks back. I was so curious to go to one so when my mom found out, she asked me and Nic to go with her. It was the bar's 1st year anniversary and Ai Ai delas Alas (aka the Comedy Concert Queen) was gonna have a concert that night. I'm so fond of Pinoy humor and jokes, which made me MORE excited. PLUS, she had a very special guest on her concert... PIOLO!!! ;) That night, I was with my mom and 11 of her friends! Nagulat ako! They were all so funny coz they actually went there to watch Piolo! Funny talaga! They looked like 'fans'!!! During the pre-show, the hosts were calling up on stage people to sing. Ofcourse, when they asked Nicole to sing, with no hesitation, she went up on stage! Her voice was terrible but her confidence was admirable! I couldn't believe she can sing in front of a crowd (the place was packed!) knowing her voice isn't even close to being OK. Despite of her 'reciting a poem' way of singing, the hosts asked her to sing 2 songs, 'Cry' and 'Have a Little Faith in Me', both by Mandy Moore. I actually told her to quit it after her first song... but she didn't listen to me. After all the audience singing, it was time for the main show. Ai Ai was hilarious!!! I laughed at ALL her jokes, costumes, and spiels. She really deserves to be called the Comedy Concert Queen. After a few guests, Piolo came out and EVERYONE (no exagg!) was screaming! Nakakabingi! It was funny to see all the adults with me (except my mom and Tita Claudette) kilig as they saw him. To sum everything up, it was a FUN night. Although I spent the whole night with adults, seeing the 'kid' in them was funny! I hope that in the future, I can go with my friends and have as much (or even more) fun as I did that night ;) *Pics to follow... too tamad to download and fix them* |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 24,July,2004 | Chay's last Saturday before she heads back to Sydney... We had a full night going out with friends and dancing the night away! urlLink Chay and IS Friends at Masas urlLink urlLink Chay with Ina and Ria at Masas urlLink urlLink Chay with Kat urlLink urlLink Marie (Me!) with Nic and Kat urlLink The Day after, we had a Penson lunch at Tita Meca's house... yummy food!!! In this picture are Ate Jackie, Marga, Jill, Chay, Nic, Me, and Patricia. urlLink Penson Girls at the family lunch at Tita Meca's house urlLink urlLink Kit and Pamy urlLink Here are some pics with the adorable and cute kids... Aryanna and Matthew! urlLink Aryanna (Miss 'Commercial Model') with Matthew and Ninang Polly urlLink urlLink Hip, Hip, Horray! urlLink Here are some pics from work... We had 2 visitors from NY this week, Peter Marney and Mary Burke. While they were here, they also gave out the awards for the 2nd quarter. Luckily, I was awarded Best Performance and Attendance for the quarter! Yipee!!! Aside from the GC's I got (shopping spree at SM, hehe!) I joined the other winners at Starbuck's for a treat from Peter and Mary. :) urlLink Outstanding Performance Award urlLink urlLink Loans/PF/Munis Manila Team with Mary Burke (extreme right) urlLink That's it! More pics (hopefully!) of this weekend... =) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 20,July,2004 | To those who will be reading my blog (a few lang naman... hehe!) tiisin niyo nalang . Its still 'readable' anyway... the way its written is just magulo . Oh well! I am not an IT specialist... I don't think i'll be able to fix it! :( |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 19,July,2004 | For some STRANGE reason, my blog's format is messed up... how annoying! Now, I dont feel like writing in it bec of how it looks! Argh! HELP!!! |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 19,July,2004 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICH!!!! Mich, aka TINY, turns 25 today! Tanda na! My friends and I surprised her at her office this afternoon in Ogilvy. urlLink Sabs , Bern, Cat, Meg, Pat, and I brought her balloons, flowers, and cake to celebrate her special day. After the surprise, we went to Dencio's in Paseo Center to eat our lunch. YUMMY!!! We had and Inihaw Platter (squid, fish, liempo, bbq), Sisig, Calamares, and garlic rice... fattening!!! We were all stuffed from lunch! It was fun talking about people from our Poveda Batch... hehe! I can't believe that there are around 10 people married in our batch! Most of them even have kids na! Scary! It was a laughtrip talking about them! Hay! Memories from GS and HS... I miss those carefree days! |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 18,July,2004 | HECTIC!!! Monday. Our Global Research Manager, Michelle, from NY arrived to train our team on our work. Meetings here and there. Left the office pretty late (than usual) due to meetings. Went to Rockwell to meet up with my sister, Chay, and had a snack in Seattle's Best with our friends from Cebu, Ina and Ria. They're both taking up law in Ateneo. Galing! Tuesday. Meetings with Michelle again... Hay! Walang katapusan!!! But nice na rin coz we learn new stuff from her about work. Met up with Chay and Kathy in the mall then we went home. Just watched TV (soap operas and Victim) with them... all we did was criticize and laugh at the actors! Haha!!! Laughtrip! Was suppose to go to V Bar with Chay and her friends but got tamad. I decided to sleep instead. Zzz... Wednesday. Lunch out with the whole team at Sugi, Greenbelt for Michelle. Yummy food! After work, I went to the airport with my mom. Len and Dad arrived from Ausi!!! Yahoo! After 3 looooooooooong weeks! I actually missed them. =) Chay wanted to go out with her friends that night so we decided to go to Racks, in El Pueblo. With us were Bernie, Sabs, and Anne. We saw Mike and Migs there. Later on, we met up with Kyla, Chay's friend from Brent. Went home exhausted and sleepy... Thursday. Despedida/Bridal Shower for Michelle. Went to the mall with Kathy and Kat to buy our 'props' for the games. After, we went to meet up the whole team in Music 21 at Jupiter for the party. FUN!!! Singing, eating, playing games, etc! We sang so much songs! I personally love the senti OPM songs. Yuck! Baduy! The food was OK. Not that great. The games were hilarious! It was kinda kinky so while the people who participated in the games were playing, the others that were watching just kept on laughing! Bwahaha! We also gave Michelle 3 gifts: a 'kikay' gift (bath and massage stuff), a loot bag (local delicacies... puro mango!), and a scrap book with all our messages for her. She said that her favorite was the scrap book. I guess coz its more personal... glad she liked our gifts that will remind her of her visit to Manila! Friday. Bad News. J-ann decided to resign and take the offer from another company. I felt really sad! :( It was very unexpected and a surprise to everyone. After lunch, Carina (my boss) called all of us for a meeting to formally tell us the news. All of the girls from the team started to cry! *SNIFF* We are definitely gonna miss her... Went out with my sisters that night. Capones and Racks. Capones was steady lang. We were with Chay's friends from brent. Moved to Racks but there were SO much people. Was so sleepy and I just wanted to go home!!! Saturday. Gimmick night with friends and our friends from Cebu, Ina and Ria. Stayed home the WHOLE day to gather enough energy for that night! Haha! Ate dinner at Sugi (again) and met up Kat Vargas. Went to Masas to have some drinks. The Gin Pomelo drink was OK. I don't drink that much naman kasi so I was SO red right away. Jahe! Went to Altitude, at Fort, to meet Chay's IS friends. Got bored (hehe!) so we moved to V Bar. FUN! We danced the night away! Ina and Ria looked like they were enjoying themselves! Parang they didn't even want to go home yet! Too much cute guys! Haha! Showed them the 'night life' in Manila. Good impressions naman sana! They said, 'next time again'! Sunday. Today. After hearing Mass, we had a Penson family lunch at Tita Meca's place in VV1. Present were the Juico's, Tito Emmet and Family, Tito Joey, and Tito Dick. Ofcourse my grandmother, Mama Nena, was there, too! After stuffing ourselves with the food tita Meca prepared (sarap!)and plenty of kwentuhan, we went to Christ the King to visit Papa Celing. Chay wanted to visit before she leaves on Tuesday. After, we went to Rockwell to buy some stuff for pasalubong for the Titos and Titas in Australia. Shopping!!! Hay! What a tiring and hectic week!!! Looking forward to an exciting week ahead! :) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 12,July,2004 | Busy. Busy. Busy. Saturday was such a Busy day... Started my day at around 10am to have my dress made for a party. They just got my measurements and made sure the design was perfect. Hope the dress turns out the way I want it to! :) Then, went to Greenhills Shopping Center, aka Tiangge, to meet my mom to buy some stuff for my nephews Javi and Raphael in HK. Got them Batman and Spiderman toys and clothes. Headed home for lunch and to rest a bit... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOIRA!!! At around 3:30pm, we went to Valle Verde County Club to attend my niece's party. Moira wanted a swimming party so all the kids came in their cute swim suits and my niece was in a 2-piece. Mind you, she is very chubby! The tankini became a bikini on her! Her stomach is so big, it would push her top, making it a bikini. Funny! Oh ya! My nephew, Tommy, was also there. Haven't seen him for a loooong time coz he lives in Canada. Cute as always! Yummy kiddie party food... spaghetti, mini burgers, lumpia, etc! Left the party at around 4:45 pm to go to the airport to pick up chay... WELCOME HOME CHAY!!! I haven't seen my sister since January so when she came out from the airport, I immediately hugged her! I'm sure she was embarrassed with what I did but it didn't really matter to me! Hehe! She still looks the same except that her hair is super long and curly! Chay didn't know that my mom and I prepared a little surprise party for her so she was really happy to see my titas, titos and cousins in the house for dinner. I'm glad she liked what we prepared for her. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIGUEL!!! After our family gathering for Chay, Chay and I went to greenbelt for Migs' birthday bash in Grappas. Our friends didn't know that Chay was back from Sydney so now it was time for Chay to surprise them! When we got there, everyone was shocked to see Chay... esp the birthday boy! We had wine and tons of oysters! It was nice to see the berks complete... Pao and Nina, Mike and Martina, Miguel, Luigi, Miko and Marga, Cat and Maiko, and Fred. Fun!!! Went to Nuvo and hung out a bit. Chay started to feel sleepy (i think its the time difference) so we decided to go home. Hay! Just making it kwento is so nakakapagod! But, all in all, the day was exciting! ;) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 08,July,2004 | HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY J-ANN AND KAT!!! I'm really looking forward to lunch... hehe! Update on Lunch YUMMY!!! We had SOOOO much food to feast on! There were 2 kinds of pizza from Yellow Cab, Spaghetti from Buddies, BBQ and Pichi-Pichi from Amber, and Chocolate Mousse Cake from Red Ribbon. Everyone was stuffed from the food and it was a delight to see everyone enjoying :) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 06,July,2004 | Your Icecream Flavour is... Neopolitan! You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind! urlLink What is your Icecream Flavour? Find out at urlLink Go Quiz |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 06,July,2004 | I spent the whole morning and the afternoon at Valle 1 at my tita and grandparents' place. First, we went to buy some fabric for our dresses for a party. I chose pink, as in the bright one, coz my tita said that it will fit my skin color (since i'm really white!). Then, we went back to my tita's house and ordered in some chinese food... yummy! Afterwhich, we headed to my grandparents' place. My lola will be back on Sunday from a vacation in the States so while she was gone, my tita decided to surprise her with a renovation of her place. I'm sure she will love it! The place looks brighter and more 'homey'. My tita's talent in home decorating is really terrific! I can't wait to see the smile on my Mama Nena's face when she enters her condo! :) After an ocular inspection on the renovation, we stayed in my lola's room to watch some old videos. We watched some of the videos of my grandfather's birthday parties... his 75th and 80th birthday party and my grandparents' golden anniversary. I was having mixed emotions while watching the videos. I miss Papa Ciling, aka POPS. Pops passed away last February and things have never been the same without his presence. The warmth that he exudes and the laughter that he brings is greatly missed by the whole family. It was very nice to be reminded of these while watching the videos. *sniff* It was also funny to see myself, barely a teenager, dancing and singing in the parties. Obviously, I had no qualms in performing in front of a crowd! How funny!!! :) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 05,July,2004 | I love this day!!!!! After coming from the gym, at around 2pm, I had my lunch and took a bath. I was gonna meet my mom at Rockwell for her bowling. At around 4:30, I was asking my mom if I should still go there or just pick her up after dinner. I decided to just do the latter so I changed to my house clothes. Then, suddenly, I got a text from Lynn (my kuya's fiance) that Piolo and Jericho were at the Powerbowl! I find Piolo SO cute that I just wanted to see him!!! The first time I met him was exactly a year ago on Ciara's birthday. From that time on, I've found him cute and I really like his movies. Kathy can attest to that!!! This is REALLY a proof that I'm baduy, but I don't really care! Haha! So, I quickly headed to Rockwell and when I got to Powerbowl, there they were... :) They were playing bowling with their kids, which was so cute! I think I was just smiling the whole time they were bowling. The mom of Lynn even introduced us to Piolo! Jahe!!! But, who cares! Its not like he'll remember! Hehe! I also saw yesterday in Mango Mayen's crush, Bamboo. I called Mayen and she was home! I think she thought I was lucky! Hehe! Sayang! She wasn't able to see him... I think she should come with me more often since I always see her crush! I think I'm her lucky charm :) I hope there are more days like this... *cross fingers* |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 05,July,2004 | SOP Yesterday, for the FIRST time, I came out on TV. I was with Erica and Mich. We came out in SOP , a Sunday afternoon variety show, as surprise guests for Ciara's birthday. Honestly, I was very nervous before we went up on stage. That morning, I woke up at around 9. It was pretty early for a weekend... I guess I was used to waking up early for work even though I sleep extra late. As I got up, I remembered that we were gonna be on TV today so I quickly thought of what I was gonna wear. I was planning to wear a skirt the night before but when I found out it was gonna be at PUP, I decided to wear jeans instead. My mom told me to wear something black so I won't look wide on TV... thanks for the advise, mom! So I started getting ready at around 10 coz Er will be passing by for me at 11:30. Before going to PUP, we decided to eat a bit at McDonald's. We were all starving!!! We then headed to PUP in Sta. Mesa for the show. We got there at around 12:30, just on-time for our 'call time'. Kat, Ciara's friend and personal assistant, asked us to stay in the car so Ciara won't see us. When it was time for us to go backstage, since it was already Ciara's segment, there were butterflies in my stomach and my knees were trembling, no exagg! I was afraid to trip in the ramp or say something 'barok' on national television! When they called out our names and went centerstage, I immediately felt that it was so hot!!! We were all sweating because the lights were directly at us and the venue itself had little ventilation. The hosts, Pops, Regine, etc, asked us to say our birthday wishes. There were other surprises prepared for her by the show... we were just on stage standing there and sweating! Hehe! Gross! We have been friends with Ciara since forever and it was the first time we were asked to appear on TV (live!) for her. It was an experience and something I enjoyed! :) Kat said that next time, we'll sing naman! We were like, 'no way!'. I wouldn't want to humiliate myself on national television! Maybe a little practice... then i'll say yes! Haha! :D |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 03,July,2004 | Yeah, yeah! Ciara's party, as always, had lots of stars in her party. Not those you see on TV and the movies, but the stars in her life, her friends. Naks! It was really nice to 'reunite' with people I hardly see and talk to. We couldn't get enough of pictures, talking, and drinking! It was definitely FUN hanging out with them and catching up on what is happening in their lives. :) Ciara was very busy entertaining guests. Compared to her party last year, she had more guests this year. There were also so much press people taking videos of all the actors that were there and interviewing people for, i guess, their wishes for Cia. All, in all, I enjoyed myself. Was just SUPER tired from work...Hay! Can't wait to see myself on TV and in the newspapers soon! Bwahahahaha!!!(NOTE: I hope Mich send the pics soon so I could post them here) My Cuzin's Bamboo. Mayen was there with me. Her crush, Bamboo, was suppose to perform in the party but unfortunately, he was sick. He was there for a while but sadly, Mayen was too late to see him... Sayang! If I had only known earlier he was gonna drop by, I would've told Mayen to come with me. I promised her I would ask a pic for her... i'll really try and look for one to hang in her room! Hehe! That's it for now!!! |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 02,July,2004 | This week was full of, as Kathy would say, 'Pat on the Back' Pat on the Back . Def: a good snack/meal after grueling hours of work. This would usually be sweets, like chocolate or ice cream, or food we've been craving for days! This week has been extra special. Today is last day for quarter-end work!!! Yahoo!!! So, to reward ourselves, we ate in Mexicali . I just LOVE their steak burrito with chips and salsa! Heavenly! We (j-ann, Kathy, Lydda, Reil, and Kat) were so satisfied with our food that I think we 'over ate'. Hehe! It was worth it! Can't wait for the next pat on the back! I am so full right now that I just want to go home and sleep. *Yawn* Tonight is Ciara's party. Wonder who will be there... Hmmm... I hope *bleep* will be there! Hehe! I also can't wait to see my highschool barkada complete after the longest time! Im sure it would be so much fun just being with them... dancing and singing the night away!!! Pics on the party to follow :) |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 14,August,2004 | Before I forget, I'd just like to greet some of pensons celebrating their birthday this week... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITA MECA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATE CARLA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICIA! I hope you all enjoyed/will enjoy your day! Wishing everyone the best! *SIGH* I woke up so annoyingly early today... around 6! I am still coughing and when my throat starts to itch, I wake up and have a hard time sleeping again. I wish my cough and sore throat goes away soon! I need to catch up on my sleep and rest! Ahhh! |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 10,August,2004 | After weeks of trying to do with what I had... I finally got fed up with my phone! It suddenly just turns off, rings out of the blue with no one calling (kathy witnessed this and she said my phone is possessed!), signal is low, etc etc! I then decided to just get another unit. Sony Ericsson Z600 I had friends who have this phone (the Vargas') and when urlLink Kat showed me its features, I was interested in buying one. When my current phone started to make loko , I decided to get one for myself. So yesterday, after days of convincing myself I needed a new phone, I bought one. The price was reasonable (it was sorta within my budget) and for the features, I have yet to discover. All in all, I think the phone is great. Handy and cute! urlLink Sony Ericsson Z600 urlLink Here are the features: A long list of features are hidden behind the deceptively simple-looking Z600, including standard GSM 900/1800/1900 MHz WAN connectivity coupled with HSCSD and GPRS for data transfers. What's more, there's built-in modem functionality, an infrared port and Bluetooth, while serial and USB connections are also supported albeit there's no cable included. PIM applications such as a calendar, note book and phone book with room for approximately 500 contacts are all easily reached from the menu, which is an exact copy of that found in the much-lauded Sony Ericsson T610. Furthermore, the Z600 offers support for concatenated SMS messages, MMS, e-mail (POP3, IMAP), WAP 2.0 and polyphonic ringtones, while other entertainment features include the Mophun gaming engine, J2ME support and an integrated digital camera with CIF (288 x 352 pixels) resolution. Although the current selection of games aren't much to write home about, the digital camera offers up quite a bit of fun despite its relatively poor resolution. To gain full advantage of the excellent main display, however, pictures taken at higher resolution than the built-in camera can offer should be retrieved. Z600 SPECIFICATIONS Your Z600. Dress it any way you want with removable Style-Up™ Covers. This tasteful clamshell camera phone with built-in antenna has fun and easy Internet and messaging features. Games, themes and image download. Multimedia messaging and e-mail. And you can easily share pictures and other content via Bluetooth™. Dual display. A 65,536 color main display inside gives you ultimate usability while a neat outside display lets you see who's calling. QuickShare™ is easy experience sharing. With the Z600 built-in camera, you can take, save and send a view of where you are. In seconds. Features Imaging/Messaging: Backlight display Camera integrated Color LCD 65,536 E-mail MMS (Multimedia Messaging) MMS templates Mobile chat Picture effects Picture Phonebook Picture wallpaper Predictive text input Themes display Viewfinder display QuickShare™ Entertainment: Content Online Games Download Games Embedded Java Java download Melody composer/MIDI (Music DJ) Polyphonic ringtones Polyphonic Sound 32 tones Style-Up™ Covers Start-up/Shutdown shows Connectivity: Bluetooth™ wireless technology GPRS Infrared port RS-232 cable support Sync ML Synchronization PC USB support Internet: Modem OTA settings WAP 2.0 WTLS Controls: Icon Desktop 12 Internet key Joystick Keypad lock Menu shortcuts Option key Profiles Redial Selection keys SIM card lock Sleep mode Speed dialing Status view Vibrating Alert Voice control Voice Mail Features Organizer: Alarm clock Business card exchange Calculator Calendar Call list Clock Code memo Conference calls Contacts Memory dynamic Phone book PIM Sync Stopwatch Tasks Timer |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 10,August,2004 | My ULTIMATE Weakness: SHOES My mom and dad think we have too much... i don't think so! Hehe! Everytime the family goes home from a vacation, it is never a miss that my dad complains that our luggage is too heavy because of the shoes we bought. I can't help it! I explain to my dad that buying shoes (or shopping, in general) is my personal form of relaxation. Even if I just stroll around the mall and window shop, I feel relaxed after a long stressful day at work. Really! I dont naman buy anything all the time. Ofcourse, I first think if I NEED it or WANT it. Must be a smart shopper.. I use my own hard-earned money! I once stumbled on some of the scribbles of my late grandfather and in one of his papers, it was written 'those who say money cannot buy happiness does not know where to shop' It was so my Papa Celing to say that. My Mama Nena loves to shop, and I think I got that from her. But the shoes part, I have NO idea where I got it. Definitely not my dad. My mom? Maybe. Nicole and I love shoes that we're actually having a shoe cabinet built in or room! (NOTE: our room is currently being renovated. Nic hates it!) Hay! I just love shoes!!! I just LOVE good buys I love it when I see shoes I like that is not so expensive... something within my budget! Haha! Just recently, I saw a pair of light blue sandals that were fairly cheap. It is sooo cute! (RECOMMENDATION: check out department stores, like SM, for cheap bags and shoes) I also got shoes from this new store in Glorietta, Pretty Fit (from Singapore), that is multi-colored. Although it was more expensive than the light blue ones, I couldn't resist... it was too cute! Promise! Last na talaga yon for this month! I should stop. I think its wrong na. Bad me. Anyway, I should also stop blabbing about this. Babaw . Just wanted to share my kababawans in life. |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 07,August,2004 | Loads of Food!!! Mini Shabu Shabu (Powerplant Mall, Rockwell) Rating : 4 Spoons I love the thought of cooking your own food in front of you in a restaurant. So, I really loved our Sunday lunch in the Shabu Shabu restaurant. We were with the Santiago's (Tita Claudette, Tito Jose, Maureen, and Aryanna). It was my first time to eat there and I was looking foreward to it. We had LOADS of food... veggies, seafood, meat, etc! We cooked everything in a steel bowl with broth, which was individually placed in front of each seat. Yummy! The only prob is, you don't know when the food is ready and it takes a pretty long time for it to cook. Talk about impatient! Haha! But, overall, it was good and very healthy! Crustasia (Powerplant Mall, Rockwell) Rating : 4.5 Spoons NOTE: Dont you think our family loves Rochwell??? Hmmm... As our treat for my lola's 'friend' who loves Lobsters, my dad decided to treat him in Crustasia. The ambiance was nice and the interiors of the restaurant was cute... very Asian. My dad ordered some appetizers to start off, dimsum and prawn pancakes. For the main course, we had crabs and lobsters (of course!), shrimps, fish, and fried rice. YUMMY! YUMMY! YUMMY! We had to wear a bib while eating! Although it took a while to eat the crabs (its so hard to open!), it was definitely worth the wait!!! That's it! I love food but I really have to start cutting down... or else my dress (for my mom's party thing) won't fit! Once in a while lang naman e! Hay! I can't help it talaga! |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 07,August,2004 | Last night, we celebrated my grandmother's birthday at a bash in Sugi. Earlier, I thought it was just gonna be family, but when I got there, all her close friends were there to join in the celebration. The food was great... an assortment of sushi, tempura, sizzling tofu, STEAK, and lechon! Haha! My lola's parties are never complete without the lechon. There was also a 'combo' (hehe! that's what my dad would call them), or in other words, a mini band that played old songs to entertain the guests. AND the most special gift of all, my lola's 'special friend' arrived last night from Rome just to be with us on her special day. Its funny how my mom would describe my grandma when 'uncle' Gianni or Johnny, as my dad would say, is here. She literally lights up. And its nice to see someone so happy on her birthday. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!! My wish for her is continued blessings from God, good health, more love and peace. |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 06,August,2004 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHY!!! Kathy, my officemate/seatmate, turns 24 today!!! In celebration of her birthday, she and Lydda (her birthday was last week) prepared a festive and scrumptious lunch for the whole team. Menu: Pancit Malabon Sisig Magoo's Pizza Kakanin Pichi-Pichi Jello The food was YUMMY!!! We all enjoyed the lunch with the whole team plus Trina Nugs, Erica, and Nina. Bern also joined us for a bit. Pics from lunch urlLink That's me with the birthday girl, Kathy! urlLink urlLink Some of the the Loans/PF/Munis peeps with Trina Nugs urlLink It was also the birthday of one of my friends since highschool and college. So... HAPPY BIRTHDAY CEDS!!! It was too bad I couldn't join her and our other friends in her birthday blowout. I wasn't feeling so well yet at that time... |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 04,August,2004 | As promised... Obviously, from these pics, you couls see that we definitely ENJOYED ! Just take a look for yourself... urlLink After lunch in a Mongolian Restaurant in Baguio with (L-R) Migs, Kat, Nic, Er, Miko, Marga, Cat, Luigi (kneeling), Maico, and Mike urlLink urlLink The whole group, aka Berks, at the Baguio Country Club urlLink urlLink At SM Baguio (L-R) Nic, Kat, Marie, Marga, and Nina urlLink urlLink At the Manor in Camp John Hay (L-R) Kat, Nic, Er, Mar, and Cat urlLink More pics to come :) *NEW PIC* urlLink On our way back to Manila (at Luisita) with the whole Baguio group urlLink |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 02,August,2004 | I thought I was feeling OK yesterday morning so I decided to go to work. When I got to work, my throat started to hurt and feel sore. I wasn't feeling well. I was lucky because the work that came that day was little so I decided to ask my boss if I could take the afternoon off and just rest at home. I literally slept the whole afternoon! It was nice to just relax and try to make myself feel better through sleeping and some medication. It did help. By night time, I was feeling better than when I was at work. But, my mom suggested that I stay home today to rest some more to make sure I am completely well. Haven't stayed home for a LOOOONG time from work. Since my mom didn't allow me to go out, all I did was sleep and catch up on TV shows. Watched urlLink Oprah and urlLink Amazing Race in the morning. I just LOVE Oprah. The episode was about the movie, 'Banger Sisters', so the guests were Susan Surandon and Goldie Hawn. It was an old episode but I haven't seen it. I also like Amazing Race because it is very exciting and I get so jealous with the places they go to. Beautiful! In today's episode, they were in Cairo, Egypt and the pyramids were breathetaking! It would be really nice to see them up close ;) I also watched urlLink 'A Walk to Remember' in HBO with Many Moore. I kept crying!!! Haven't seen the movie in a long time. I love this movie! The message was something anyone can relate to. The process of how they fell in love was inspiring! Hay! Anyway, that's it! Hopefully, tomorrow I'll feel back to normal. Can't wait to be back to work tomorrow... not bec of work, but because its Kathy's birthday !!!! Lunch celebration! Yahoo!!! More on that in tomorrow's entry... |
3,721,928 | female | 24 | indUnk | Aries | 02,August,2004 | Just arrived last night (exactly 12mn) from Baguio. FUN! FUN! FUN! Although it was short and bitin , the vacation with friends was both enjoyable and relaxing! Present were: Batch 1 1. Luigi 2. Miko 3. Marga 4. urlLink Kat 5. Erica 6. Miguel 7. Mike 8. Cat 9. Maico Batch 2 1. Me 2. Nic 3. Pao 4. Nina 5. Mark 6. Fred Some of us stayed at Cat's place near Mine's View while the others stayed in the Baguio County Club. Here's a summary of our trip. Day 1: Friday, July 30 Left Manila at around 8pm (after work). It just took us 5.5 hours to get there. Hardly slept coz Pao and Fred kept making kulitan ! Finally got to Cat's place at around 2am after Pao and the others checked in Baguio County Club. When we got to Cat's, they were already freshened up... playing cards and drinking! Slept at around 4:30 am (coz of Kat V.'s kakulitan in the room). I was roomies with Kat and Nic.. Kat is so talkative! Day 2: Saturday, July 31 Woke up at around 8:30 am and woke Kat and Nic up by opening the curtains! Hehe! Sayang kasi the day! Everyone started waking up coz of Kat's loud voice and we all started to dress up and prepare breakfast. The wonders of technology! Cooked scrambled eggs and hotdog using the microwave. It was a successful experiment! Everyone liked it ;) Ate lunch in a Mongolian restaurant and took some photos of the group. After, we went to BCC to meet up with the others and to order some food (raisin bread and cheese rolls) for pasalubong. Decided to tour Session Road... some went with us and the boys went to Good Shepherd to buy pasalubong stuff. Tiring! Literally walked the whole strip!!! We also visited an ukay-ukay store... it was my first time to see one! Aliw! Super daming stuff and so cheap! We also went to SM... took some pics at the balcony of the mall. Nice view :) Went to mass at 6 at the Cathedral. Before dinner, we first went to the Manor to take some pics... pose kung pose! The fog was so annoying! All the pics looked like we were walking on clouds! Nice effect though... Had dinner at Sizzling Plate... yummy steak!!! Had garlic steak with java rice! We were all soooo hungry! Worth the wait!!! Went back to Cat's house, freashened up, had a few drinks, and slept at around 2 am. Was too tired! Day 3: August 1 Started the day at aroung 10am! :) Went to Mine's View Park with the girls to buy last minute pasalubong for family and officemates. Had lunch after at the Country Club... salad lang coz I was too full from the white corn I ate in Mine's View. Took some pictures before we went back to Cat's place to fix our stuff for our trip back to Manila. Left Baguio at around 4pm and rode with the 1st batch (the others went to the Palengke and Good Shepherd to buy some stuff). Fun!!! Talked about kabaduyan stuff (no wonder! Kat and Miko were both there!) Had dinner in Pancake House (in Luisita), where we also met up with the others. Finally got home at around 12mn. Hay! Super tiring but super FUN! I enjoyed everyone's company and the fresh and cold air of Baguio. Can't wait for our next out-of-town trip. As always, I'm sure it'll be so much fun :) *Pics to follow* |
3,391,680 | male | 16 | indUnk | Capricorn | 30,May,2004 | My first two posts were in response to articles I had found, and rebutted their arguments. With this one, I plan to take a different direction and use a more original perspective. Let's take a moment to reflect on a recent Massachusetts court ruling allowing two people of the same sex to participate in possibly the highest moral institution this country recognizes. The proponents of gay marriage will have you believe this is a civil rights movement comparable to the true civil rights movement of the Sixties. Not only does this trivialize that great step forward in American history, but it also leads many to believe homosexuals are discriminated against by our government. A similar 'civil rights movement' occured in Sweden a few years back, allowing gays to marry. As a result of this, the number of Swedes with a sexually transmitted disease has steadily increased. Now our nation is already under the stress of an STD epidemic with around half of all sexually active Americans with some sort of STD. Do we need to add to this problem? The proponents of gay marriage seem to have the delusion that marriage is simply intended for two people who love each other. Sorry to inform you, but marriage is also the only institution in the world that ensures that a child is raised by two parents. Certainly marriage does have something to do with two people loving each other, but you cannot deny that children are more times than not an integral part of marriage. Lastly, as a nation, we must ask ourselves down what road we are leading the moral foundation of our great civilization? If marriage is simply about love, how can we deny five different people who love each other the rights of marriage? (think polygamy) If marriage is simply about love, how can we deny a mother and her son the rights of marriage? (think incest) If marriage is simply about love how can we deny a man and his goat the rights of marriage? (think beastiality) All three of the aforementioned acts are illegal according to U.S. law, but you can't help but wonder if they will remain so if the onset of homosexual marriage is to occur. |
3,391,680 | male | 16 | indUnk | Capricorn | 20,May,2004 | I hope you people love the American Civil Liberties Union ( urlLink ACLU ) as much as I do. They supposedly fight for the rights of of the little man in America, when in reality all they do is push the liberal agenda, masquerading as liberty fighters. Benjamin Franklin: Liberty Fighter. Martin Luther King Jr.: Liberty Fighter. American Civil Liberties Union: Liberal Bullshit Propaganda. Anyway, while I was skimming around their site, I happened to stumble across urlLink this . For those of you too lazy to click a link, it's all about the recent ban on partial birth abortion. The article starts with a quote by Chief Judge Richard A. Posner. '(T)he public support of the laws was also based . . . on sheer ignorance . . . . ' Thank you Judge Posner. With a full arsenal of network news stations, newspapers, and magazines, as well as propaganda medians like the ACLU, promoting the heinous act of crushing the skull of a baby, seconds from being born, and tearing his appendages off as he flails around in vein, is impossible because of us cotton-farmin', NASCAR watchin', Bible preachin', ignorant people in the general public. I think what Judge Posner meant was that the public support for the ban was based on our, ever so awful, high regard for human life. After the quote, the Union rephrases two main points about three times. The first being: 'the bans prevent doctors from performing abortions as early as 13 weeks in pregnancy,' No, sorry. The ban prohibits abortions to babies who are in the process of being born. If a premature baby is about to be born only after 13 weeks into the pregnancy, then no, sorry Doctor, you can't end this innocent child's life. The ban only applies to women in labor, because to kill a baby in the process of being born isn't a medical procedure. It's a thing I like to call, 'infanticide.' Their second point is that partial birth abortions 'impermissibly endanger women's health.' Let's get beyond the obvious fact that they offer no evidence to back this up other than the fact that partial birth abortion bans offer no health clause. Anyone want to take a guess at why partial birth abortion bans offer no health clause? Because partial birth abortions are never, I repeat, never necessary to save a woman's life. Besides this being a medical fact, one can infer this just by common knowledge. The only time giving birth will endanger a woman's life is during the actual birthing process. Partial birth abortions require the woman to almost deliver her child, then the child is slaughtered, and she delivers the remains. The process is identical to giving birth except for the child is delivered with a crushed skull, and dead on arrival. Here's a little side fact I'd throw into the mix: The American Health Association condemns partial birth abortions. So according to the ACLU, the partial birth abortion ban is unnecessary, because: a) women are not allowed to abort a prematurely born baby, which, by definition is partially born; and b) the ban does not offer any medical protection to the thousands of women out there who never need a partial-birth abortion for their own health. |
3,391,680 | male | 16 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,May,2004 | Every once in a while, I like to make a visit to my good friends, urlLink Al Jazeera . During this endeavor, I ran across some really nifty items. One really stood out in particular though. You all remember Nicholas Berg, right? Some of you network fans out there might have missed this whole thing, due to the massive overcoverage of the Abu Ghraib prison story, so I'll summarize it for you. An American civilian in Iraq, Nicholas Berg, decided he could make a few honest bucks conducting some business in unfriendly Iraq. Somehow, the enemy forces captured Berg, and on a video released to the media, they did something to him, that makes a man pyramid and a dog collar seem like... well... a man pyramid and a dog collar. First they read this giant schpiel about how America is the 'great Satan.' Yadda yadda yadda. Then one of the cowards, armed with a large machette, grabbed Berg, and held him to the floor and began to saw away at his head. Not slice. Not hack. Saw. While the rest of them started screaming 'Praise Allah!' When the butcher finally finished his work, he held Berg's severed head up for the camera, blood dripping from the stump left of a neck. Anyway, back to Al Jazeera. urlLink One article is a feature done about Berg's father. Berg's father blames the 'policies of the Bush adminstration' for the terrible thing that happened to his son. I guess Berg's father missed the whole scene of his son screaming in agony as the blade carried by a man praising Allah, slowly ripped through his son's neck. Michael Berg (the father) also says that Bush's 'ineffective leadership is a weapon of mass destruction.' I think he might have missed the whole sarin gas incident our troops encountered a couple of days ago. They also note that Nicholas Berg (the victim) had intended to leave Iraq earlier than he was allowed due to detention. Berg was scheduled to leave March 30. He was missing from March 24. Damn that detention! Damn it to hell! We all know how willing the Iraqis would have been had Berg been allowed to leave six days after his capture. Now up until this point I thought I'd have a little pity on the father, you know losing a loved one and all, has got to put a lot of strain on the mind, enough to impair correct judgement even. After reading this, I realized my asessment was totally wrong and Nick Berg's father is a lunatic. Michael Berg in response to what we should have done after September 11: 'I say we should have done then what we never did before: Stop speaking to the people we labelled our enemies and start listening to them.' Pure genius, my friends. Pure genius. Mercilessly salughtering over 2,000 innocent Americans is obviously a warning sign of a group wanting to talk things out. Maybe we should have just started listening to Hitler. I also like his point that we label them as enemies. Nevermind the thousands of radical Muslim references to America as the 'great Satan.' Nevermind the burning corpses of the Halliburton employees. Nevermind the capture and murder of Daniel Pearl, a reporter in Afghanistan. Nevermind those 2,000 aforementioned killed on September 11. Nevermind the ruthless decapitation of your own son Mr. Berg. Berg later declares, 'Stop making up rules by which others must live and then separate rules for ourselves.' Damn right. For every American that plans to sneak into a Sbarro Pizza, with a vest full of explosives only intended for killing civillians, send him to prison. Why stop there, any American who tries to sneak a shoe bomb onto a commercial plane: Prison. I like your thinking Berg. |
3,391,680 | male | 16 | indUnk | Capricorn | 11,June,2004 | I recently purchased the Book Brainwashed by Ben Shapiro which details liberal bias all over campuses across the U.S. I haven't finished the book yet, but when I do, a book review will surely be posted. Here's an excerpt I found to be very entertaining and disturbing called 'Strange, Strange Behavior' from the chapter 'Sex in the Classroom.' A few professors have interesting perspectives on bestiality as well. It's fine, as long as you're not too cruel to the animal. Ugh. The strangest of the strange is Professor Peter Singer of Princeton University, who wrote an essay for Nerve Magazine in which he lauded that noblest of human activities, bestiality. 'Sex with animals does not always involve cruelty,' writes Singer. 'Who has not been at a social occasion disrupted by the household dog gripping the legs of a visitor and vigorously rubbing its penis against them? The hos usually discourages such activities, but in private not everyone objects to being used by her or his dog in this way, and occasionally mutually satisfying activities may develop.' Um... what? Maybe Professor Singer thinks it's 'mutually satisfying' to make mad, passionate love to Fido, but we in the real world call that disgusting. And there are many more who do more than walk their dog. Harvard Professor Marjorie Garber, director of the university's Center for Literary and Cultural Studies, wrote an entire book on puppy obsession, entitled Dog Love. 'Animal contacts... have had a long and honorable history in sexual fantasy life ,' Garber notes. 'Behavior that appears (in practice) as a primary violation of boundary between humans and animals turns out to be (in figure) foundational to received notions of 'culture' and 'civilization.'' With the 'honorable history' of bestiality in mind, Garber gleefully recounts literary and real-life cases of bestiality in her chapter 'Sex and the Single Dog.' Perhaps the most egregious example is her account from Laura Reese's Topping from Below, describing a 'love scene' with a Great Dane. Every woman's fantasy--making out with Marmaduke. Revolting? Disgraeful? Absolutely. But what else should we expect from Professor Graber, the author of such great works as Vice Versa: Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life and Vested Interests: Cross-Dressing and Cultural Anxiety? |
3,391,680 | male | 16 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,July,2004 | I apologize for not posting in a while, but I have several posts planned for the next week. About a week ago I saw Farenheit 911 , the controversial film which spends two full hours trashing the Bush administration. Some small portions of the film I was unable to enjoy due to applause and insightful comments like, 'yeah!' and 'right on!' given by the democrats in the theater (yes, there are democrats in Texas). When Michael Moore isn't making fun of how Paul Wolfowitz does his hair before a camera appearance, he is usually trying to bring the viewer down some meandering path that somehow connects President Bush and Osama bin Laden. I am not going to try to debunk, point by point, the entire movie, but I will point out some things about the film that really stood out to me. On the very opening scene of the movie, Moore tries to make it look like the racist Supreme Court stole the election for George W. Bush. What Moore leaves out is that several independant recounts actually found out that Bush won the election (You mean Moore left important facts out, well I never...) After this, Moore tries to link Bush to those terrible Saudis and bin Laden's family hoping that the casual viewer doesn't know that the rest of Osama's family disowned him. It's just little things like this that stand out to me about the movie that sit and make me wonder does anyone actually believe this? |
2,952,363 | male | 36 | Engineering | Virgo | 28,July,2004 | I have always thought that hospitals are kind of like airports for souls - where children are born, the elderly depart, and the rest of us make unexpected but hopefully temporary trips. I thought of this analogy when my nephew Bahram was born. As I was sitting in the waiting room with my parents, it suddenly hit me how odd it was that 'five' of us had arrived at the hospital hours earlier but that 'six' of us would leave. One extra physical being coming out of no where into the hospital and our lives. As I wondered about this thought, I realized that only one or two floors away in the emergency rooms and operating rooms people were passing away. A place full of arrivals and departures. A 'soul port' full of tears; tears of joy and devastation. I remembered this analogy as I stood in the lobby of the John Hopkins Medical Centre this morning; this time I realized that this was a very special soul port, that this was a place where people are fighting to stay in this world a little bit longer. It is also a special place because it has state of the art technologies that help people survive some of nature's vicious attempts against us. This gave me peace of mind that my sister's bone marrow transplant will be a success, and that this is only a temporary stop at this soul port. |
2,952,363 | male | 36 | Engineering | Virgo | 21,July,2004 | Today was the day I departed for Washington D.C. for the “pre” evaluation tests associated with my being a donor for my sister’s bone marrow transplant scheduled for mid-august sometime. I have to have various tests undertaken at John Hopkins Medical Centre in Baltimore on Thursday and Friday. I return to Vancouver on Sunday. Subject to any schedule changes, I return back to Washington D.C. during the week of August 2nd for pre-operative checks on August 5th and the actual transplant on August 6th. En-route, I was once again subject to the “disheartening” practices of US immigration. Right clicking on the word “disheartening” in MS-WORD and using its thesaurus, one gets “intimidating”, “off-putting”, “discouraging”, “scary”, “frightening”, “overwhelming”, and “demoralizing”; all of these words apply. Their Special Registration processes essentially starts with a blatant accusation that the Canadian government has issued me a false passport – meaning that my nationality as a Canadian citizen is not recognized by the US government, even though I carry a valid Canadian passport. Once my nationality is discounted, I am screen based on my place of birth: Tehran, Iran. Although I left Iran in 1979 when I was 12 years old and never to return, my place of birth signifies that I pose a threat to the American public and that I should be finger printed and photographed each time I enter and exit the US. It is difficult for me to pinpoint what bothers me most about this: => the fact that I became a Canadian to escape the racism that Iranians face? => the fact that it is humiliating to be designated as a second class Canadian citizen? => the fact that the US immigration staff that execute their government’s distorted policies come from the most vile bowels of society? => the fact that I am not a threat to anyone? => the fact that the largest state sponsor of terror in the world is the United States of America? => the fact that I must endure what I am exposed to because a life is at stake? urlLink Although I may not know what bothers me most about this, I know what helps me endure it, and that is threefold: firstly and most importantly I will be able to battle something that is a threat to all of us (cancer), secondly – I will be able to raise this issue (once again) with the media and Canada’s federal government and hopefully rectify it through the appropriate channels, and thirdly, I can choose to not travel to the US for any other purposes. These reasons empower me to fool the immigration officials to think that I am complying with respect, even though deep down inside I am revolted by everything that they stand for. And alas, this is exactly what I did today; I complied with respect ;) and after the 2 hour ordeal was able to catch my flight arrive in DC on the eve of my appointments at the hospital and on time. |
2,952,363 | male | 36 | Engineering | Virgo | 20,July,2004 | A thousand years, a thousand more, a thousand times a million doors to eternity; I may have lived a thousand lives, a thousand times an endless turning stairway climbs to a tower of souls; if it takes another thousand years, a thousand wars, the towers rise to numberless floors in space; I could shed another million tears, a million breaths, a million names but only one truth to face. |
688,869 | male | 17 | LawEnforcement-Security | Cancer | 30,September,2003 | I just saw american history x. holy fucking shit. I saw it before but I honestly don't remembenr all this shit. I don't think I saw the whole thing. That was fucking amazing. I honestly do not know what to say. I almost cried at the end. I really did. I could have. I wanted to. I don't know what to think. I hate the world. I love the world. I don't understand the world. The world doesn't understand me. What does it all mean? Suddenly shakeer and his mundane existance isn't the most important thing in the world. suddenly there's more to american social politics then what we see on the nightly news. suddenly its all clear. Everything they said made sense. But I hate it. And I don't want to believe it. I don't know what to make of it. They say there are movies that can change your life. this might be one of them. maybe it will change me. maybe I'll forget about it all and instead update this with more garbage on stuff no one cares about. or maybe I can change the world. or maybe something I do will matter. maybe. But then again, its just a movie. And I'm just a kid. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.