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3,605,248 | male | 13 | Non-Profit | Taurus | 11,June,2004 | i got bak from camp i had a blast....i dont think kira is the right girl for me i prayed and did a lot of soul searching at camp and realised i need to focus more on God than girls and that same night she rejected me .... funny how God always works out things yar i feel as a heavy burden has been lifted and praise God when in the mountain or in the valley or even in complete peace |
3,605,248 | male | 13 | Non-Profit | Taurus | 11,June,2004 | (slow talking) Im saying goodbye To the fields gray Im saying good bye to the rainy days (more upbeat) Im singing , Im saying it , goodbye (slower music) But when i have to say goodbye to you, it breaks my heart with all that weve been through but there comes a time when you have to say .... Goodbye |
3,605,248 | male | 13 | Non-Profit | Taurus | 11,June,2004 | A deep black sea surrounds me raining and puring down on me tearing ripping slashing at me drowning in this deep dark sea wich is flooding me and then i see the suns sweet light coming to save me and then i think of ....her and a deep black sea surrounds me ~tyler |
3,605,248 | male | 13 | Non-Profit | Taurus | 11,June,2004 | man this summer has gone by slow and ive been so bored it will be freedom to go to camp next week,i cant help but drift my thoughts to kira i wish she would be back next year, i sent her a e-mail and waiting for a response i hope to see her over the summer....oh man i sound like a guy whos dog died well one of my friends left the school i go to, sperated by a vein of a few miles but seperated by many many many universes,i think i like her or liked (as love is to strong a word) i might never see her again and that makes me sad but im sure ill go to campand my spirits will get a little brighter ah well w/e its late or err early. bye |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 17,April,2004 | OH MY!!! this is the funniest thing ever! Getting desperate are we Cindy? Next thing I know we'll have a few tadpoles in the oven! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 13,April,2004 | You stupid, vile, ignorant, SLIMY beast!!! HOW DARE YOU IMPLY that I would EVER even come close to kissing you with your dirty tongue! As for you, Snow, I won't deign to stoop to your level. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 13,April,2004 | I am not supposed to say anything, so keep it on the down-low y'all, but someone showed up at the pond last night wearing nothing but a glass slipper. i won't give all the details... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 13,April,2004 | Everything seems to be going well thus far... however, I find myself constantly wondering where this will all lead. I am so sad... i cry and cry and cry all the time. Is there a handsome prince somewhere out there who hears my cry? I need a shot of vodka. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 13,April,2004 | ribbit... ribby... erk... CROAK! hmm... sorry frog in my throat... hahaha... yeah... ummm... anyway, this is another crappy day... i've gone all morning without a fly and all night with a frog princess, nudge...nudge...wink...wink... know what i mean? |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 13,April,2004 | gee wiz is'nt this just the BOMB!..and i mean that ...my jet balck hair is a mess today and my cherry red lips have turned plumb purple..this is not my day.. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 13,July,2004 | urlLink ` urlLink |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 16,July,1999 | urlLink profile pic urlLink |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 30,September,1999 | here's one long story, abridged . . . My 19 year old bro and I are best friends and we decided to go to college together (yeah i'm a procrastinator) We thought, hey let's go to a community college, earn an associates degree and transfer to the NC School of the Arts (assuming we are accepted)for film making. We were gonna attend a school in houston, but damn, the prices jumped from like $280 dollars for residents to $1400 for non residents . . . my mom had mentioned our moving to NC, and so i said, hey, why not? So my bro and I moved to NC that weekend. We're both majoring in pre-drama at the moment (whatever the hell pre-drama is). I am partially grounded . . . really. . . i'm just chock-full of contridictions, and it usually confuses people . . . I had a wacko childhood that made me aware of so much stuff that I don't feel the need to conform, but I do feel a need to be childish . . . David Spade(my fave comedian {I'm also a total Monty Python freak}) quoted something that made alot of sense to me: 'If everyone sat around thinking about their lives, they would just bawl and bawl. I say, why do that when you can screw around?' mybe it isn't Frost, but it speaks to me . . . I'm an outgoing person (most of the time) spontanious (most of the time) relatively entertaining (umm, most of the time) however I have a serious side that freaks people out . . .if I'm quiet it must mean I'm depressed or mad at somebody . . . well that's... what people think anyway, but it just means i wanna be quiet, dammit! or i have something on my mind. You see, I get caught up in thinking about things (day dreaming) and i seem like a total ditz (don't ask me what day of the week it is!)ll stay up at night for hours, staring into the darkness, eyes wide open, begging my brain to shut up . . . (have you noticed my love of parentheses lazy to use spell check, I am>> Oh yeah, that reminds me, I have almost completed a novel, I also have several children's books that a publisher will be checking out this monday {{{KROSS YER FINGERZ}}} |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 09,October,1999 | i saw the Matrix in the theatre three times . . .it is an awesome movie . . . mostly because it makes way too much sense . . .there are those of us who feel something isn't quite right about this world. You know what i mean. my bro and i are looking into getting an apartment around here, but for now, i am basically homeless . . not so bad off that i need to go out to the highway with a cardboard sign in tow, at least . . . my grandma left my step grandfather (thank god) he is a major ass . . . i gotta go now . . .been sick for the last three days and i'm on a major tylenol buzz . . . |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 03,October,1999 | i hafta write this really quickly cuz i'm off on a family trip to visit my dad's parents in good ol' Lumberton, NC (cold, rich people who can also be referred to Grandparents, but not often) and my great grandmother (otherwise known as Nana . .. has alzheimers > and is the opposite of her daughter and son in law) so it might be a bit shorter than previous messages . . .we'll see . . . i live in a small town about fifteen minutes from Charlotte . . . I suck at anything geography-like . . . i get lost easily . . .i hafta have my li'l sis with me if i wanna find my way around, and she doesn't even have a liscence . . . oh well say la whatever. . . damn . . . well my parents are like saying GET OFF NOW OR WE WILL SEND YOU TO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG!! well those aren't their exact words . . .ok so i'm going now . . . my dad is looking over my shoulder and if he can see this I LOVE YOU DADDY!!! ok so bye!!!!!! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 02,October,1999 | i don't read comic books but they fascinate me somehow... i wonder why that is... i do admire the art and i used to have a subscription to a magizine that published different artist's perceptions of classic comic characters . . . i also usta collect the cards that had characters on 'em . . . the unfortunate thing is that i don't collect things for long . . . they get lost in moves or so dusty that i can't stop sneezing around them and so they are of no use to me . . . um . . ok one thing i do collect is old toys . . . i'm a stickler for nostalgia inducing items . . . i'm one of those chicks who loves action and cheesy horror flicks (i find them hilarious) and Shirley Temple movies (you know, one of those girls) so i'm like doubly annoying . . . laughing at all the gory shit in a movie or crying when Shirley has to leave her old pappy . . . men find that trait irrisistable . .. um, so i suck at sticking to a subject . . . ::random thought:: the intoxicated are so friggin' attractive ya know . . . and they think themselves to be total studs/babes (depending on gender) hahahahaha i laugh just thinking about it . . . most people spend half of their time with me just trying to figure me out . . .now that's a huge waste of time, since i can't even do it! . . .that's why my bro and i are so close . . . we just hang out in places sometimes to watch how people talk to each other . . .we are fascinated by it . . . to us they seem so obvious, but no one else seems to notice . . . my parents are as full of contridictions as i am or maybe even fuller (:yeah i like using unwords:) my parents are like totally crazy on one hand (i don't mean that in a good way) but on the other they are completely cool . . . it was like that growing up . . .we'd have like two weeks of great, but we never knew when it was gonna blow . . . we walked mine fields, my sibs and I, the good thing about it is that now we are very good friends ( had to stick together to survive), i have 3 siblings a brother-15 sister-17 brother-19 we're all two years apart, we all have birthdays within three months (dec jan and me all alone in feb) the bad thing is that i'm more of a mother figure than a sister to my youngest sibs . . i even call them 'the kids' yeah it's kinda freaky . . . actually my parents have mellowed out since my 19 yr old bro and I have gotten older . . . ok i'm shutting up now . . .one reason i don't go into my family alot is that i tend to keep it going like the energizer bunny, and well, that's just plain boring . . . |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 01,January,2000 | i'm not worried about money . . . just honest about it so i'm less apt to feel ashamed at being 'found out' . . . |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 01,January,2000 | i am feeling something today . . . have you ever felt that knot in your chest that nudges your heart like an itch that can't be scratched . . . it just sits there like a heavy worthleess lump . . .but you know it's not worthless because it is what makes you create and want to create . . . i have that feeling often . . . mostly at two in the morning when i wake in a cold sweat knowing that in my dream i was searching for something . . . what? i don;t know . . . i always wonder if i am a freak or if others ever feel that lump . . . if i breathe deeply it calms until my breathe is loosed . . . my finger ache to sculpt clay . . . not the kind you buy in colored plastic containers at the local toy store, but the wet kind that leaves ones hands dry and muddy . . . i've never used it, but sometimes i feel the nerves beneathe the skin of my finger and palms reach to form shapes . . . . am i a wacko or what? |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 29,February,2000 | My parents offered to send me $100.00 every two weeks to help with my brothers expenses. I cried when I read the e-mail . . . I hate to admit it, but i miss them terribly . . . of course i didn't except their offer . . . I did send three gushy letters in my disgusting and pathetic way . . . and I meant what I said to them . . . Mom and Dad were in many ways, though abusive, the most wonderful people in the world . . . i cannot comprehend how the Ying and the Yang can exist together in one being, but my parents are a clear case of this . . . I've never hated my parents . . .never . . . I've been an gry . . .frustrated to the point of madness, but hate, I've never felt . . . unfortunately, that is not the case on the other end . . . Mom has often stated her hate for me, and though I know that she cares for me most of the time, the hate is also very r eal when spoken . . .it has been an underlying feeling since since the day i told her a secret she did not like . . . However, I don't blame Mom . . . okay, i do put alot of blame on her, but I know the the truth . . .that she is not wholly to blame, even when I feel she is . . . Mom was unloved as a child and the fact that she has been able to give us a much as she has is amazing . . . I hope that Mom and Dad will agree to my proposition that we find a solution without court involvment . . . i also hope they will agree to attending family counseling . . . I just don't know if my brothers are ready for that, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it . . . hopefully I'll have a reply tomorrow to my e-mails . . Hopefully they will be good replies . . . Secret word of the day . . . 'hope' |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 28,February,2000 | Today has been a strange one for me. I spent the better part of the weekend in the Virginia mountains, attending a ladies convention there . . . It was very helpful to me . . .helped me to find an inner peace that I've always had, but never knew was there . . .I take that back . . .i've always known it was there . .I'd catch glimpses of it on beautiful days when the sun is shining, casting a golden glow over the earth . . . but it always left me before . . . I think I have found now, the joy that my pastor always speaks of . . . one that is always there, through s adness, joy prevails . . . I'm not one to go into these things easily . . . as a matter of fact I am just the opposite, stubborn in my views, but i find it incredible, the peace i feel now . . . I had a turbulent evening . . . but the joy was there . . . Even when i was angry to the point of shouting a whisper as soft as a light breezed kissed my ear, and i knew everything would be okay, and it is . . . |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 22,February,2000 | When, in mid October of 1999, my 15 (now 16) year old brother and 17 (now 18) year old sister asked to live with me, I said 'yes.' They didn't want to live with Mom and Dad anymore . . . Our young childhood was enveloped in Mom's love . . .Dad's also . . . Even toward the end of our living with them, we heard 'I love you.' everyday . . . we hugged alot . . . we shared secrets and laughter . . . it really doesn't make sense . . . . But there was abuse also . . . On the other side of love, hate. A thin line does exist between the two. I know. My brothers and sister know. When people see me as a selfless person, though I say nothing, (having learned quickly that any arguements make me sound like I'm trying to be modest . . . or fishing for compliments) I know the truth. I am the oldest child of four, and that is, at this time in my life, my main idenity. I love my brothers and my sister. I want my family to be together. I love being able to give the two youngest, (with the much appreciated help of my 20 year old brother) as much of a normal life as I can. I like all of this, not because I am selfless, (my personal view is that selflessness does not exist in one's self . . .only in a person's outside perspective of another person . . . people do things that seem selfless to us because it is the way they are built to act or it is how they want to act) but, because I like to be needed, and it gives me a sense of purpose, without my having to find it on my own. What I will do when my reign as parent to them ends is more frightening than knowing each day that I must try to do what is right. (All of us who care, most o fthe time, about right and wrong know that the prospect of acheiving 'right' is a scary one, since right and wrong are often gray text.) I have to fight myself daily to keep from smothering and pulling my little brother and sister. I am just wholly glad to be aware of this truth. The only chance in overcomig a vice is to know of it's existence. Please bear in mind when reading these pages that I am not old enough nor intelligent enough to know everything you might know, if you are, indeed, older and more intelligent than me. I am, however, old enough to know as much as I can know, which is to me, everything . . . I am aware of the fact that my version of truth may be naive` in another's eyes, but I refuse to use my words wisely in order to appear wise . . .I prefer to be genuine in my thought, even if those thoughts are laughable to some . . . I am also aware that my form of speech in writing will seem unrealistic to some . . .that is okay . . . no one really knows when another is 'real' anyway . . .especially since the definition of 'real' is also a grey thing to behold . . . UPDATE: We have worked things out with our parents and are now living in south carolina with them . .. We've been separtated for eight months . . . .Will we survive together? We'll see . . . :) |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 23,June,2000 | The night before i left NC, my sister Kimmi and my friend Jenna and I decided to meet at the park to say our fare-thee-wells. I felt like crap, (having spent the last two days packing non-stop) but i wanted to say bye to my friend so off i went. We had to walk (my P.O.S. car's battery was dead and Jenna's car? obsolete) . . . Jenna met us halfway, her adorable kid Jo-Jo bouncing along in his stroller . . . Off we went to play at the park . . . it was about eight o'clock and getting dark fast . . . all the more fun to swing . . . We played for about thirty minutes, by then it was full fledged night . . . Suddenly my sis noticed the sprinklers were on at the baseball field. They were huge sprinklers that shot water 100 feet into the air. 'Wouldn't it be great to sneak in?' Kimmi mused, 'Let's do it!' i said. Jo-Jo knew what was going on . . . he was already pulling off his little shoes . . . We arrived with aspirations to climb the fence (we'd already done this a couple of weeks ago when the pool was closed at our apartment complex, it wasn't a good experience) but to our surprise the gate swung wide open . . . we wasted no time. Running, the wet, new grass cool beneath our bare feet, we jumped and played . . . I couldn't play for long because i began to notice something . . . The lights were on full blast at the soft ball field beside us and the sillouettes of Jenna, Kimmi, and Jo-Jo playing in the water were so beautiful . . . The water swinging off the ends of their hair, their bodies, black against the light, twirling and slinging sparkling sprays. 'Why are you just standing around?' My sister asked. I told them what i was thinking. They just splashed me with water and my sister gave me a big, wet bear hug. 'Gee, thanks.' i said. It was then that we all noticed something. Looking into the sprinklers with our backs to the light we saw the most glorious display of color. Rainbows. I counted twelve of them overlapping one another, and they weren't really bows, but rings of color . . . and when the sprinklers moved and the waters fell, they faded away slowlyso that we had to follow the sprinklers to see them. i've never seen anything so glorious as the intertwined colors of twelve rainbow rings against a black sky . . . We were all getting thirsty, so i asked one of the kids peeping over the fence at us if the concession stand was open . . . since it was my bright idea and i was the only one not wearing a white t-shirt i was voted to buy the drinks . . . We took our cokes to the inside of the stadium, then stood on the dug-out singing and dancing until we were so exhausted that we had to go home . .. my sis walked with Jenna (she was spending th enight with her), and i walked home alone . . . It was a beautiful night . . . |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 22,June,2000 | Everything is going alright so far . . .Not much can go wrong, when you've yet to leave your home . . . We're looking for a house around here . . . If you have one for rent e-mail me, hehe . . . Anyway, I have a huge head-ache and nothing interesting to write, so I guess I'll shut-up ;) |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 21,June,2000 | well . . . some things have changed drastically since my last entry . . . My family has once again come together, and my siblings and i have moved to South Carolina with our parents . . . Cross your fingers . . . Mom's already getting on my nerves, but aren't most mothers nerve wracking?? :) Trying to get down here was a awesome task . . . alot of annoying things happened today . . . i won't bother writing them, cuz i DO NOT wanna relive this day! :) I NEED TO FIND A JOB OR I WILL BE HOME WITH MOM ALL DAY!!! AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 25,September,2000 | I am such an unfaithful journal keeper . . . for those who keep up with my vastly exciting life, simply mark the 5th day of every third month on the calander and you shall have a chance to read something new . . . I have been computerless for a few months now, and it's good to be back online! I am adding some new stuff to my site, including a gallery with links to some of my friend's sites . . . If you'd like to be included, just send me an e-mail including a link to your site. I've been working on something that has been fun for me. I am painting my room. I've already gotten the annoying roller painting out of the way and i am in the midst of painting various designs all around me. It's fun because it's abstract . . . i'll include some pics of my room on here when i have completed it . . . I'm working on a new novel. It is a completely new genre for me and so it has remained interesting. I'm also working toward getting some of my children's books published. Cross your fingers for me :) |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 02,October,2000 | I've been trying to decide what to do lately . . . Those of you who know me, know that I hate making decisions . . . especially life-rendering decisions . . . oh well . . . I just can't decide . . . maybe y'all can help me . . . WHAT oh WHAT can i 'be' for Halloween?? Yes, I do still 'dress up' for Halloween . . . I never said i was mature, and if I did, I lied . . . I still go trick-or-treating sometimes . . . I'm usually a vampire, and that's probably the route I'll take again this year . . . I'll hafta take some pics so y'all can see what a blood-sucking b-tch I am . . . :) Anyway, If you have any ideas, email 'em to me, and I'll post 'em in an upcoming journal entry (: UPDATE: the vote was overwhelmingly 'CAT' . . . so . . . i was a cat and i got the crap scared out of me at a cheesey haunted hayride! what a woos i am! :) |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 29,November,2000 | I am sick sick sick. I feel like crap and I should really be in bed! 'Why aren't you?' you ask and I reply 'I have no friggin' idea!' I would like to stay passed out like a lump on a log until this whole thing passes! It's driving me crazy! But enough of that . . . let's move on . . . I have come to an important decision. Those of you who've kept up with my journal, know how I am... I try to give everyone a chance ... I have decided to stop doing that and be picky for a change. You know why??? Cause I am getting no where on the dating field, and I am tired of dating idiots . . .Not that everyone I've dated is and idiot! If you are reading this and you dated me. I'm not talking about you! LOL I think I naturally date guys who are wayyyyyy too possesive. I went on one date with a certain guy and he informed me that he did not want me to date other people . . . that's scary . . . yikes. Anyway, other than the above bits of news, nothing really exciting is going on. Mom and Dad broke up, but Dad still lives here and has his own room. If you know anything about my life, you know why this news is not exciting. If you don't, then you are probably thinking I am a wacko LOL i'll let you in on some news I am a wacko ;) |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 25,November,2000 | I am working on the illustrations for a brand-spanking new book. I am really excited about it because I have approached the illustrating using an entirely new medium! It's actually been alot of fun, and hopefully you'll see it on your local book store shelves soon! I am submitting directly to a publisher that has promised to let me know within 3-4 months whether or not my manuscript is excepted. The catch is this; I have to submit this manuscript only to them! Oh well . . . At least I don't have to worry about my manuscript decorating a slush pile! I 'll keep y'all posted. My brothers are leaving! Going off to school! I can't bear the thought of living here wiithout them. I know it's for the best, but I am a selfish person and I want them to stay! LOL Actually, I am glad for them, and I am doubly thankful for the internet as a means to communicate with them! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 01,November,2000 | I had a great time on Halloween. My family and a couple of friends got together to go on a haunted hayride. Can you believe I was scared out of my mind? I kept my eyes covered most of the way! When we got home I stayed up all night with my sister and a friend watching cheesie horror flicks. I fell asleep listen- ing to phony screams. :) |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 27,December,2000 | My Christmas didn't suck as much as it was meant to. My little bro and I managed to salvage some Christmas spirit, and I forced Dad and Je into listening to Christmas music LOL. The sucky thing about it was that my sis was stuck in NC. (Our car broke down and we had no way to get her) And my mom has refused to see us. She also spent all of the Christmas money, so we had no money for presents or food or anything. I scraped together some potatoes and made a casserole and my bro and I set the table all Christmasy. We all realized there are ALOT of people who had Christmas much worse than we, so we decided not to mope and be cry babies. LOL I hope y'all had a great holiday! HAPPY 2001!!!!!! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 22,December,2000 | what the hell was that??? lol |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 21,December,2000 | I have a searing pain in the cavern that once housed my heart... for my heart has flown from me and the cold that invades my body... I am inclosing my arms, grasping hands, fingers white, bloodless, entwined in the lost hope that I shall close this gap before it allows my last breath of sanity escape ... refuge. the only place of comfort that swims before my aching eyes is that of a small house full of children. I will go there and be comforted. I don't know when I shall return. I will return. someday. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 11,December,2000 | i don't understand my mom . . . she had this chance . . . a chance to have a family that she loved and loved her, a pinnacle of support and she throws it away like its yesterday's garbage ... to me, my family is a treasure, one that i am deperately attempting to grasp and keep for all it's worth . . .maybe not mom and dad so much as my brothers . . . i don't have to worry about sis, she and i understand one another, and i know the boys will never forsake us, but they are going away and when you go away you forget . .neither plan to ever come back once they go, and i don't blame them . . . I just don't understand how my mom thinks it is all so trivial! if I am one day blessed enough to have a husband who loves me and children who adore me, and who i can love and adore, i will count myself the luckiest woman alive . . . it scares me to hope for such things in a world where these hopes are dashed everyday, and i confess, that it seems an unlikely prospect, but that makes it all the more valuble . . . Why others don't see this, i'll never know . . . do you understand what i mean??? or am i just kerrrr-razy! lol |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 06,December,2000 | i've had an epiphany of which i'd like to relate to you . . . i've talked often of my mother and myself and our resent distress . . . last night I made rather an ass of myself, as well as a few curse words I won't go into at the moment . . . in other words, I morphed into extreme childishness . . . I said horrible things to my mother out of anger . . . i have later apologized and had my apologies excepted as well . . . The epiphany revealed itself before the apologies and after my inexcusable behaviour . . . i was extremely angered toward my mother after she declared before myself and two of my siblings that she doesn't care for us . . . she used a more crude device to relate this term that i won't attempt repeating . . . At our age, I suppose it shouldn't matter much whether our mother cares for us . . . but it does and weighs heavily on me as well as my brothers and sister . . . she's decided that we are horrible selfish children that are attempting to marr her happiness after she gave up so much for us . . . this so bristled me that i said a few choice and hurtful things in response . . . i felt satisfied with this for only a moment before pangs of guilt presented themselves to me . . . i then listened to she and my brother recourse and realized through hearing this exchange, that it is fruitless to attempt changing her opinion, and idiotic to spout mean words for temporary satisfaction . . . the epiphany?????? We are no longer going to argue, but accept . . . accept and go on with our lives . . . why does this seem a huge and new idea to me???? everything in my personality rejects this course of action . . . i don't like accepting and moving on, but last night i realized the road that would be carved if i continued would be a bitter one, and those suffering in it's shadow would include not only my mother, but myself and those who love me . . . so here i am . . . accepting . . . .and moving on . . . la la la la la :) |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 06,December,2000 | I think i may be getting sick again . . .i hope not . . . i might be doing the ping pong sick people thing with my BF!!!! I feel ok, but my throat is hurting a little and i woke with a fever blister on my upper lip . . . i am going to do something i hate and that my mom is always trying to convince me to do . . . i am going to gargle warm salt water . . . it's a great way to cure a sore throat, but i am usually adamently against it . . . you know what's funny??? I even talk alot when i'm not talking . . . geez . . . i might wear out your poor, little ears . . .lol . . i've been working on a new life time work type novel . . .it's about my bros and sis and i. You know a little about our lives, but not much . . .trust me this will a thereputic endeavor . . . i am calling it The Chick-a-dee Club . . . i've begun by writing sporadically . . .different memories here and there. bro and sis are going to sift through and help me arrange the dates and events, correct my mistakes, add some of the things they remember, then i am going to take the little scrap book of memories we create and piece together a 4 person biography . . . cool, huh? I hope telling you all the stuff i throw on you isn't a burden to you . . . it just helps to say stuff sometimes . . . my mom and i had a huge arguement yesterday . . . she's decided to bring her guy over for the weekend . we have a big problem with this because mom and dad just broke up a month ago and we're still trying to deal with everything. we don't have a problem with her dating, but we told her from the beginning that we would be uncomfortable with her bringing guys home, just as we would if dad brought girls home . . . we are already plannning to get our own place once dad moves out . . . that's a good thing. we are too old to live at home anyway . . . lol as soon as i get my contacts i am going to get a new job . . . i might work at waffle house again until i find something else . . anyway, i am going to save money for sis and i . . . |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 05,December,2000 | I just woke from multiple disturbing dreams. Nothing fancy including death or anything as dramatic as that. No these dreams were insanely sane. I prefer the more monster driven nightmare myself... My brother's are here for a while longer. For this I am very happy! I'm going to miss them much!!!! I am in love! Who'd of thunk it??? Oh well I suppose it does exist after all . . . My cynicism loses out ;) |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 03,February,2001 | urlLink i should have pushed the cake uphis nose!!! haha urlLink |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 03,February,2001 | Regretful Day... if not for my two wonderful children... I am glad I married... living with bryan was worth the trouble for having Baby Anthony and Sky... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 03,February,2001 | urlLink now should i have used htis knife for the cake??? lol urlLink |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 03,February,2001 | urlLink having the drink of green punch... non alcoholic, so i can't blame booze urlLink |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 03,February,2001 | urlLink before the wedding... showing off my pre-wedding hicky urlLink |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 12,April,2002 | Toni Lynn's outfit, a very lovely black cotton T-shirt, paired with flattering, though somwhat baggy bluejeans seemed somewhat dressy for such a casual interview, but I over-looked that and commenced with the questions. So, Toni Lynn, where are you from? Toni Lynn looked quite amused, hunched before the monitor of a mighty nice gateway computer that she certainly couldn't afford. She typed away on the keys, the answer, while her sister looked over her shoulder hoping against hope that Toni Lynn would discontinue her tippitty-tap and decide to go home from the library. I'm not from anywhere, really... i've lived in several states, most often, NC, most recently, SC... My roots are in NC, and I have several red-necked relatives on my dad's side of the family who snub their noses at the drunkards, hill-billies, and floozies that lounge on the branches of my mothers end of the family tree. I would have asked Toni more questions, but she finally decided to give in to her sister's unwavering and impatient stare and go home. to be continued... I'm finished for now, Kimmie... stop looking at me like that! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 05,April,2002 | In a whisper, the breath, carried to the breeze. It flew past stone and mortar. And swam through halls that once echoed laughter. It rested in bed chambers that were the place of birth and death. It kissed once, every nook and cranny, every crack and hidden place until it spread and lived, dancing with the spirits it had been lonely for in life. The old man smiled. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 28,August,2002 | Isn't there anyone in this world that knows what I know? The world isn't a huge ball floating in space, but billions of tiny worlds walking past each other daily. Love is not a feeling, but a tangible BEING. Pain is relative and real for everyone. Songs exist in you and want to burst forth on glorious wings. Does anyone out there in the wide world feel what I feel? A breeze can massage your body in cool whispers if you reach out and let it. The sound of rushing, falling, tumbling water can pump like blood to and from your heart. The smell grass, pine needles, and damp dirt is the smell of life. Can anyone out there in this echoing chamber sense what I sense? That though I feel alone, I am not. There is something that touches the part of me that most people can't see. But, you COULD see it. I know you could. Feel, touch, and taste it, too. It's there for the plucking like ripe, juicy fruit. It is golden and alive. It lights the air, peeks behind flowers, and floats on a baby's laugh. I don't know what it is and I don't care to know, only to speak of it, acknowledge the existence and share. That is enough. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 27,June,2003 | Ant and I are back together and I am back home. hopefully we'll find an apartment before the baby's born. if not, i'll be here at trish's...the c-section date is on june 16!!! two days after my due date! crazy huh? |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 12,June,2003 | i had a horrible day yesterday.. i watched this friggin' oprah special about great fathers and i lost it... i ranted and raved and cried and whined and rode a bike down to ant's g-friend's house and talked to her grandmother.... oh what a glorious time! lol anyway... i guess it helped, though, cuz i woke up today feeling wonderful and free... i walked down to the house to see if i could find some of my sister's coins... only the nickles and dimes were still there... they were under stuff so i guess that's how they survived... i looked in ant's wallet (he was asleep) to see if he had any money... no money, but 3 condoms!!!! lol at least he's using protection, the bastard... i called today to see if the charges pressed against ant were still pending, and i believe that they are, so he wouldn't have gotten away with that... i have to talk to a deputy tomorrow... i also called victim's services who related me to a shelter in the area... in case ant goes to jail... gets out... then goes nutzoid... then i'll have a place to go... also, i've decided to stay in this area... i've applied for a student grant to go to school this winter and i have housing and job oppritunities here... i am applying to work at the children's home that trish works for... i also called victim's services who related me to a shelter in the area... i signed up there in case ant being a single mom, i'll be able to get housing pretty easily... until then trish is allowing me to stay here... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 06,June,2003 | it sux. veggie won't be able to get his CDL after all. The friggin' school is closing! Can u belive that?? I was ahving major pain all day, but i knew it wasn't contractions. Veggie insisted i go to the hospital, so i went. I simply had the world's most painful bladder infection. Ouch! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 28,July,2003 | Je is staying with robbie... he's visiting me today (monday) ... he plans on coming back thru before august 5 |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 16,July,2003 | i started having contractions last thursday... nine mins apart, but the docs didn't take them seriously... even when they became 3/5 mins apart they acted like i was exagerating the pain when in all reality i was trying not to show much pain since i thought i wasn't REALLY having pain (all in my head of course lol) the thing i tried to explain is that these contractins were stronger than i'd experienced in my first pregnancy when i was dialated 4 cm.... since i was only 1 cm when they checked me, and the machine didn't pick up the contractions, they thought all was A- OK... anyway (i know i'm babbling, but i know you;ll wade thru it all right :) i went in 5 times in three days... each day feeling more and more stupid for coming in when i was being told my contractions COULDN'T be worse than a menstrual cramp 'you're prolly just exhausted and THINK they hurt that much.' one nurse said... Ant asked why they were waiting when my due date was so soon... they said they couldn't do an unschedualed c-section unless it was to prevent a risk to the baby or myself... blah blah blah I almost din't go in Sat morning because i was sure i would be sent home.... this time however the nurse (a different one) said that the contractions might not pick up on the machine because of the baby's postion and the size of my stomache... she asked ant to press when i felt a contraction coing on... well guess what? suddenly all involved realized i WAS'T imagining things after all... then the situation became serious... an hour before a doc said i wasn't dialated at ALL (wasn't i 1 cm yesterday??? hmmm...) in an hours time, i was four/five centimeters and climbing... 'tonights you're night.' said doc now it as a life/death situation... they were afraid my uterus would burst because i was in HARD labor... to make a LONG story a tad shorter... Baby Sky was born at 5:17am Saturday morning... He is HEALTHY and sooo cute... dontcha think??? urlLink |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 25,August,2003 | The baby's service went really well... i was afraid he'd get up front and start bawling like crazy, but he was so cute.. we had him in the puffy little outfit and a bonnet... he was wearing little crochet booties too... When the preacher called us up, ant was outside calling work to let them know he would be late... it was embarrassing for him... he saw us up front and cam running down the aisle... the baby just looked around at everyone! When the preacher stared talking, the little baby sneezed twice and everyone laughed... he was a happy little guy right up until we took him outside and put him in his carseat! :) Ant has been so awesome... his good attitude has held up so far... he's the best daddy... he knows how to quiet the baby when no one else can... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 25,August,2003 | The baby's dedication service went really well... i was afraid he'd get up front and start bawling like crazy, but he was so cute.. we had him in the puffy little outfit and a bonnet... he was wearing little crochet booties too... When the preacher called us up, ant was outside calling work to let them know he would be late... it as embarrassing for him... he saw us up front and cam running down the aisle... the baby just looked around at everyone! When the preacher sarted talking, the little baby sneezed twice and everyone laughed... he was a happy little guy right up until we took him outside and put him in his carseat! :) Ant has been so awesome... his good attitude has held up so far... he's the best daddy... he knows how to quiet the baby when no one else can... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 04,September,2003 | I'm staying with a friend temporarly because trish seems to hate me right now... she yelled at me the other day when i came up to the house with the baby, so i left and haven't been back. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 30,October,2003 | My sister traded my car!!! I trust her with the car. I never HAD to share it with her. I shared it so that she could be a part of something special. it's an old '63 dodge dart. i love that car! i gave up the car for a year so it could be put in her name. i needed a car the whole time. i was pregnant with no way to the hospital. no way to work. but the reason for the car wasn't for all that stuff. it was so kimmie and i could work on it and make it into something special. it was suposed to be a project for she and i. it actually hurt me alot when it seemed to turn into something for her and jerry but i didn't say anything. it was hard for me to see that relationship between jerry and kimmieu because he'd been so mean, but if he was nice to her what right did i have to interfere? but thru it all, i KNEW the car was hers and mine, and i knew jerry could never have that because he hadn't been thru what we went thru with that car. i was pregnant with baby anthony with that car (i rode in it all day having contractions) that car brought us on road trips and drives thru the country, i taught kimmie how to drive it down the road... it's not the car being gone that hurts. it's the symbol of so many memories. i can see that kimmie would want a nicer looking car than the dodge for her and teddy to drive. that is understandable, but she COULD have taken to the dodge to greenville. Doesn't jerry go there every other weekend? is there anyway you could trade back? jerry really loves you and maybe he'd understand you wanting the dodge back... i know you feell ike you owe him alot, but please remeber, although he really likes the car, I LOVE IT... bryan comes home sunday with enough money that i could give her 500 dollars. That's enough money to put down on a new car. Then i could give her 100 dollars a month until i gave her a thousand. I hope she considers it. that way she and teddy could pick out a car. i know she probably won't. she won't want to take something jerry likes so much away from him. that hurts because it's like she doesn't care about my feelings about it. why doesn't she? why is jerry suddenly do high and me so low? i know he's really sweet to her and she thinks of him like a dad, but he's been that way for almost a year... i might not have always been perfect, but i have always been her sister. this car means so much to me. i would still share it with her if she would just change her mind. if she decides against it, i won't understand, but i won't be mad anymore. it's like there's and empty place in my chest, but one day it won't hurt so much, i know. there is the chance that she is just young and in love and really doesn't understand what she is doing in giving away this car. i really think that is it. there's no way sheu could understand what it means to me, i suppose. but no matter what she decides, she means more to me than the car, so i am going to try really hard not to hold it against her. i am going to be honest, it won't be easy... but i love her more than any old car. i am sorry for my earlier emails to her. i was really mad and told her to never email me again. it's just that it surprised me. i never thought she'd do this to me. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 29,October,2003 | just a buncha questions i got in an email today... 1. What time is it? 7:04 pm 2. Name: Toni 3. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Toni Lynn Dove4. Nickname:Tone-tone, Mommy (lol) 5. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 25 7. Pets: 1 husband 8. Natural Hair color: brownish-red 9. Body Piercing: ears (twice ...tongue soon) 10. Eye color: green 11. How much do you love your job on a Scale of 1 to10? 10! 12. Birth Place: NC 13. Current Residence: SC14. Favorite food: ice cream 15. Been to Africa? no (wanna go) 16. Been toilet papering? ummm... yes?17. Loved someone so much it made you cry? ::sigh:: yes18. Been in a car accident? yes 19. Croutons or bacon bits? bacon bits 20. Favorite day of the week: Friday 21. Favorite word or phrase: Boop-bop22. Favorite Restaurant: 23. Favorite flower: pale pink rose 24. Favorite sport to play: Volley-ball 25. Favorite drink: ice-cold shots of Vodka26. Favorite Ice cream: cookies N cream29. What color is your bedroom carpet: N/A30. How many times did you fail your drivers test: 231. Besides this one, from whom did get your last e-mail? my sis 32. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: office depot33. What do you do most often when you are bored: read, write34. Most annoying thing people do: 35. Bedtime: 11:00 pm - 2:30am36. Who will respond to this email the quickest? someone wid nuthin' better to do37. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Jo. she been dare dun dat 38. Favorite TV show: Biography 39. Last person you went out to dinner with: hubby40. Ford or Chevy: Chevy |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 22,October,2003 | i was just remembering a tape mom got fo rus kids about sex. it was so wacky! it was a cartoon and showed EVERYTHING!!! the funny part is when they were tlaking about why someone would want to have sex when it makes them so tired. The tape related sex to a sneeze... then said ah... ahh.... ahhhh.... AHHH.... CHOO!!! hahahaha |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 18,October,2003 | Sky is growing up overnight these days! Yesterday, he was holding my fore fingers in his little fists and he yanked his body in the upright position with a satisfied grunt :) It's cool how these little triumphs seem so huge when they come from a baby.He also talks up a storm now. I can't interpret him completely but I think the gist of it is... 'Where's the booby?' Or something on those lines, lol... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 30,November,2003 | I am so friggin' tired of my husband's assholiness being blamed on me... I finally really and trully got up the guts to leave the guy and his mom says...'don't do this now... i can't take anymore stress... at least wait until after the holidays... you haven't even given him a chance...' blah blah blah where the hell has SHE been the last 21/2 years??? all i've done is give chance after chance after chance, and i am tired of it... i am tired of being treated like shit when every damn thing doesn't go his way... here's an example of the crap he gets mad about... the other day, our friend was supposed to watch the baby so we could go out it turned out she had to work, plus our other friend didn't show to pick us up anyway... so the asshole i call a husband got pissed and tore my shirt, grabbing me by the collar... over something that insignifigant... it's stupid. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 29,November,2003 | being a mom is great! it really is... today i woke up covered in baby droppings... sounds icky, huh? i won't relate the experience in its entirety here. i save my mushy (ewww... that takes on new meaning today) baby stuff for sky's cubby, lucky you! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 29,November,2003 | we finally found a place to live. Yeah, it's a trailer... eighty five dollars a week... a monstrosity on the outside (either it's a trailer or some old dinosaur laid a big turd and let it bask in the sun until it faded) But you know what? It's a place of our own. and that feels pretty damn good... I'll admit that I feel ashamed to live in a trailer, but i don't think i should feel ashamed! I don't have alot of money, and i do have a baby... and this old hunk of metal is warm and I'll make it cozy inside... There's alot of work to do. The carpets are filthy and it smells like dog and cigarettes... I'm grabbing a steam cleaner, vacuum, Febreeze, and BLEACH GALORE... this place will look just fine when I'm finished with it! The electricity is powered by a plastic box on a wall... you have to swipe an ATM-like card through it... we have to drive about 30 mins away to get to the building that charges it... we put 10 or 20 bucks on the thing then driiiiiiiiive home and swipe power into the trailer! it's weird... i've never seen anything like it before... we've had a shitty day... since it's saturday we can't turn the power on, and i am stuck at my mother-in-law's house... it's not that bad here, and my M-I-L is pretty cool most of the time (except on full moons and any time i'm not doing what she wants me to), but her husband (who is ALWAYS nice to me) is pretty pissed at her for allowing us to stay... he only shows it when i'm not looking, but i know ... Im cold as hell... wait a sec... cold as ICE... that's better... my toes are froze and my fingers are popsicles... Sky's okay, though, I have him wrapped up tight and i hear him snoring away as i tap away at the keyboard... the heat is on (that's a song, right? brings forth visions of eddie murphy and his donkey laugh) but it's only warm within a 3 foot radius of the heater... BRRRRRRR! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 10,November,2003 | we are renting a trailer... haven't moved in yet (electricity is turned on monday)... the trailer is beautiful... not really, it's downright ugly, but it's a place for us to live, right? plus it's only 85 a week including water and garbage, and the electricy its about 10-15 dollars a week... we stuffed ourselves at williams thanksgiving.. granny started cooking the night before and outdid herself... sky ate a little bit of everyhting mushy... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 10,November,2003 | typing one handed this morning with boop-bop on my lap... he has a doc appt to check out his ear infection... (not a fun experience to have with a baby, btw) ant is totally into paintball alluvasudden... not that he hasn't liked it for a while, but Nathaniel came in last night wearing 30 lbs of paintball gear (including night vision) and now ant is shivering in antici.... pation... now i am going to be a fake military wife... yipes... i hate when ant gets into these thiings... he is totally engrossed and cares even less about his family than usual, since we are no longer convenient... geez... i better get ready for the long haul, so to speak. UPDATE: didn't get to take the baby in today... i rescheduled and gramby is going to give us a ride wed... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 06,November,2003 | stuff isn't going bad anymore... bryan is finally home... i'll write more later... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 03,November,2003 | okay, so i was freaking out for nothing. maybe it's one of my hobbies. who are u to judge? :) ant's finally home... he came in at like 3 in the morning tuesday... it was so weird because i am used to being without him, and it took a couple of days to slip back into 'couple mode'. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 03,November,2003 | jerry really has seemed to change for the better... ... i am having a stressful time because bryan is still gone... he was supposed to be back in a week and they keep expanding it... i haven't heard from him in three days and i have no idea what is going on... last time he called, he was majorly upset because joe promised he could take the van down for halloween then backed out of the promise... i have suspicions that more could be going on (u know bryan) but i don't know for sure and it's all stressful... plus i don't have any money to help with groceries and stuff and i think i've been here way too long... everyone is still nice but i am getting on barrington's nerves alot lately because i disagree with some stuff she says... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 02,November,2003 | this is going to be a sick addiction... climbing in here and typing mindless bloggle all day long... don't worry, i am not disciplined and i won't be here EVERY day... not that YOU CARE! :(~ Snow Bird The girl sat in a huddle behind big brother's snow fort. She and her little friend nestled deeper in a beaver fur cape. Downy feathers tickled her cheek. 'I'll name you Snow Bird.' she said. It was a good name, for the bird was white and weightless like the big flakes that stuck to the girl's dark lashes. The tiny bird felt little more than a skeleton with feathers. He trembled. His warm body vibrated. Then he was still. 'I'll name you No Bird.' she said and kissed the top of his head. She buried him in the snow. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 02,November,2003 | it's only like 1030pm but feels so friggin' late... i hate getting used to one thing and trying to get used to another... now it's dark at 6 and that totally screws up what's left of my brain! oops! BOOP-BOP'S fussing... gotta check on him... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 02,November,2003 | okay, so now i am about to freak out. i woke up at like 3am the other day... i guess it was the day before halloween and i wrote a story... i emailed it to my mom and her boyfriend... why am i freaking, you ask? her boyfriend complimented my story! what the hell? is he planning some secret mission and trying to sugar me up beforehand? hmmmm... my poor little boop-bop is feeling horrible... he woke up at least ten times last night (he usually wakes up once at 2:30am then again at 6:30) the poor little guy has an ear-ache, and it's driving us both crazy... Here's the story i was tlaking about: Dear Mr Wormwood Dear Mr.Wormwood, This is a letter to inform you that your complaints have been heard and I WILL endeavor to keep little Jimmy from creaking so in the hallways at night, but for goodness sakes, please remove the garlic from your doorways. It does nothing but agitate my sinuses and won't help your cause at all. Sincerely, Mr. R. Mortus Dear Mr. Wormwood: I am sorry that I have been unable to keep my promise. You must understand that Jimmy is only a child and apt to find mischief. Toothpaste DOES wash from walls. Try vinegar diluted with a bit of water, and peanut butter should help remove the gum from your Suzy's hair. (Really, don't you think she's a little old to keep wadded chewing gum on her bedstead?) The lamp falling from the nightstand was my fault and I do send out a heartfelt apology, but you must understand how your screaming through the night at the slightest noise effects my nerves. I am certain that I am not ALL to blame. Whether we like it or not we are neighbors. Let's get along for the children's' sake at least! Sincerely, Mr. R. Mortus Dear Mr. Wormwood: What is all this nonsense? You've got my good suit damp, and I haven't any other! Little Jimmy's hair was quite wet, and he's coming down with a cold. Don't complain to me when he sneezes in your halls. Holy water! Really! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Sincerely Mr. R. Mortus Dear Mr. Wormwood: I'm sorry to seem so amused after the work you went to with Mrs. Wormwood to 'rouse the souls of the dead.' All that chanting left your throat scratchy, I imagine. I HOPE you didn't fall for the show that old quack put on last night. I admit it was rather amusing to watch her roll her eyes and moan. But I promise you I was not the victim of murder, nor was I the captain of a ship. I am prone toward seasickness and never learned to swim, so I stay far from any body of water. As for her 'second sight'; I took the trouble to say hello to her as she headed to her car (counting the bills you paid her) and the 'second' she took 'sight' of me, she ran screaming to her car, dropping the bills behind her. I'm sorry, but puns are a specialty of mine and I can't help putting them to use once in a while. I placed the bills under the large rock in your front yard. Sincerely, Mr. R. Mortus. Dear Mr. Wormwood: I apologize again. (it seems that is all I do lately). I was only trimming my mustache, and didn't realize Mrs. Wormwood was in the bath as she had the curtain drawn. I am sure she has nothing to be ashamed of. (You are a lucky man, Mr. Wormwood!) Tell her to leave a scarf tied to the door if the bathroom is occupied. Doors being closed mean nothing to me, you know. Sincerely, Mr. R. Mortus Dear Mr. Wormwood: Of course my last correspondence wasn't written in blood! How gruesome! I simply couldn't lay hold of a pen and paper and borrowed a lipstick. I chose the refrigerator for it's slick surface and easy cleaning. I wouldn't dream of ruining your wallpaper! As for this hideous screaming that your family is so fond of, it is growing rather tiresome and excites my migraine. Sincerely, Mr. R. Mortus Dear Mr. Wormwood: The electric typewriter you left me in the attic was a nice gesture! I am sure I won't have to dirty your refrigerator door again, anyway! Your suggestion that I take up residency in your attic is a sensible one as it would give us both privacy, but you must understand that the attic is not well suited for daily life. It is dusty and rather riddled with rats and spiders. It creeps me out, typing here in the night, even. I also appreciate your following my advice about the scarves. As for Jimmy's continuing tormenting of your daughter. I do apologize, but he IS rather fond of Suzy and she pays him little attention unless he causes some mischief or the other. Besides, he has nothing else to occupy him, and Suzy's bangs will grow back in full given due time. Sincerely, Mr. R. Mortus Dear Mr. Wormwood: This will be my last correspondence, as you've decided to allow me to communicate to you face-to-face without screaming and running. I simply wanted to put my thanks in writing. How nice it was that you outfitted the attic for us! I am sure Suzy remains unbothered as I cannot tear Jimmy from the TV and his video games. As for myself, I do enjoy the satellite television (though with 200 hundred channels, it still seems there is nothing to watch)! I also enjoy the bathroom you installed. (The battery-powered mustache trimmer was a nice touch!) I am sure that I could have no nicer neighbors than you! I hope you don't mind if I come for a visit now and then. A hundred and fifty year old child is poor companionship for a man well in his thousands! Would you like a game of checkers? Sincerely, Mr. R. Mortus |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 02,November,2003 | alright so this is the fifth week that he's been gone. i get a call now and then. 'i miss you and the baby. let me tell him i love him. i'll be home tomorrow (thursday, next saturday) for sure.' then tomorrow comes without him and without a phone call for another week. i'm living with friends. he hasn't sent money. he's supposed to be on a temporary job, but it's beginning to feel permanent. i think i may have to make other plans. the only place i can go is with my brother in Cally and thats forever away from 'the valley'. i want to go to school. i want to work. i want to be with my baby. i want. i want. i want. and then lemondrops and gumdrops were raindrops... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 28,December,2003 | Today I am thinking about Life's (yes, boys and girls, I am referring to Life as an entity... don't take it too seriously) gives and takes. Whenever we are faced with something trully horrible, if we are able to survive it, we come out stronger. Now that is almost cliche`, but that doesn't make it any less true. Think about building muscle... You have to rip apart the tissue so it can rebuild itself larger and stronger. Life sometimes seems to wanna rip the heart right out of you. Don't hold that against her because, Life, she has gifts to give as well. Take sunshine on a foggy window; have you ever seen the like? The light is diffused in magnificent but tiny rainbows, shapes more intricate than snowflakes band together on the glass. Then as the fog begins to melt into bright beads that run races to the sill, sunlight pours in and warms your face, igniting dust into a million small fires that with a swipe of the hand become fairies dancing crazily in swirls! There are things of wonder all around you, draped in a cloak of common. You would do well to find at least one a day. Now i don't go around asking Life for more hardships (i am not a complete idiot... only partially) but I appreciate that we can be given a gift for having survived. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 25,December,2003 | i don't feel at all bad... it's a weird feeling for me. i am used to not feeling bad whenever i am experiencing some unexpected wonderful event, but not in daily life. i feel good, and no physical happening was needed to cause it. i suppose i simply feel i am finally on the right path. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 25,December,2003 | ahhhh... what a nice christmas! we spent the day making food... call me Miss Mashed Potato! the evening was spent with friends playing games and eating food... It was great! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 24,December,2003 | today should have been wonderful, and it started off that way. Robbie and Sheena bought me a cute outfit (i haven't had a cute outfit in forever!) and we came home planning to spend the night watching christmas movies and munching on pizza. Ant called and ruined it for a while. he made some death threats against me and Robbie (my brother) and said a bunch of other stupid shit. i hung up on his sorry ass and hung up about 6 times after that without giving him a chance to say anything. i know it's gotta be freaking him out because usually i'm all about working everything out. this time, i'm not. i'm just too DAY-UM tired of his bullshit. i guess it's safe to say that friendship thing i talked about isn't about to happen anytime soon! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 20,December,2003 | this week has been so relaxing! i feel more at peace than i have in a long timel. i also have specific goals set for myself now... i plan to apply for school and a job as soon as i get back. ant's going to learn how to be a daddy for real... he's going to have to watch the baby while i am at work... i'm hoping for no problems there... honestly, i wish i could stay here... i know robbie and sheena wouldn't have a prob with it, but i don't wanna ask... i'm scared to go home, tho. i know that ant's family will surround me and try to make me go back to him and basically make me feel like i can't do anything for myself. it's just not me. i am part free-spirit and part wanna-make-everyone-happy... the two don't mix. Farthest Star we'll drive to the farthest star you and I watching waves of clouds roll by losing a lonely tear to cry tip-toe on wonders in the sky wandering milky paths criss-crossed space we'll flee to darkest ebony place midnight horses setting pace laughing at the moon's bright face we'll wake and dream without seam we'll cry and sigh while rivers dry we'll growl and quake for nothing's sake we'll glow then dim 'til dawn light's brim fly fly fly goodbye bye bye |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 17,December,2003 | All about a Toni Lynn. She is thus called because her daddy's name is Tony and there just HAD to be some distinction. Besides, she was a southern girl, made to be golden and smelling of sun-baked grass. Everybody knows a true southerner has two names with three syllables! Billy Bob... Linda Sue... Toni Lynn... In the south, it's a given. ___________________________________ Toni Lynn moved a lot as a kid. She never attended the same school for an entire year. As a matter of fact, she never attended school much at all. Her parents were intelligent but lazy. Why make a kid do her homework when she could clean the house, make dinner, or rake the yard? That was a waste of good labor. Why enroll a child in school when they could pretend to home school her? No one would know. They never lived anywhere long enough for anyone to figure it out. ___________________________________ Toni Lynn did finish high school, somehow. She read a lot and books aided her in passing any test the community college threw at her. She got her high school diploma at nineteen, hoping against hope there would be a college exam somewhere in her future. ___________________________________ Toni Lynn's dad was a computer analyst. He made a lot of money, and he spent a lot of money on high-priced hookers and God knows what else. There was no money for college, and Toni Lynn couldn't apply for aide because Dad made too much money. ___________________________________ However, for one nice summer, Toni Lynn and her oldest little brother convinced Dad to invest in a community college. 'We'll work and pay for the next semester, if you can just get us started!' ___________________________________ It was a great time that couldn't last forever, through a million circumstances that would make this BIO too damn long, Toni Lynn obtained custody of her baby brother and sister. She quit school then got a couple of jobs and an apartment. She had to fight to enroll her baby brother in high school, and fight to keep her parents from taking her brother and sister away, but it was definitely worth the fight. Those were happy days. Just she and her three siblings, living off of instant mashed potatoes, mac N cheese, and new-found sanity. ___________________________________ Flash forward a couple of years and Toni Lynn's brothers are in the military, her parents are separated and paired with un likable characters, and Toni Lynn is married and well on her way to being pregnant. ___________________________________ Toni Lynn's baby is born in October. He lives a few precious hours before giving his final breath and his goodbye heartbeat. ___________________________________ Flash forward a few years later to a 26 year old single mom trying to carve a path out of a life as hard as stone... boy do her knuckles hurt! Hmmm... To coin a phrase, 'That's all I've got to say about that.' |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 16,December,2003 | i'm spending a week with my bro (robbie) and his wife (sheena)... to me, she's my sister, but i didn't want to give the wrong impression! I love these guys and it's going to be a great week... poor sheena is as sick as can be! She's been in bed all day, and wants to hold the boop-bop so much! I told ant i want to be friends and nothing more... he said 'get the divorce papers and I'll sign 'em' i'm about to sign up for school and hopefully start a new job... cross your fingers for me... also, hope that Ant and I will find a way to REALLY remain friends! there has to be a way... it'll be hard, though! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 16,December,2003 | I am luckier than most. My best friend, Nathaniel, is the type who likes helping people out, and he has just helped me out big time. Today I decided to act on the feeling I've been having to leave Ant. It has been a plan in the back of my mind every since he choked me at Steph's house. It wasn't worked out or anything, but as I've said before, I've been keeping my eyes open for a good opportunity to ge tout of this mess. When I saw it, I took it. I'm more than a little bit scared. Not of Ant, but of the idea of being a single mom. I wonder if I'll be able to cut it out there in the real world. I just don't know. I'm gonna try, though. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 25,January,2004 | it's snowing again up here! it's starting to pile up now... i think i may get to build another snowman... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 12,January,2004 | ok... bryan really didn't do anything in particular this time to make me leave him. I have been planning to go for a good while now, but haven't had the opporitunity. Just the other day he held me to the ground by my neck, choking me, i even wrote a short story about, and i'll put it here. I'm so stupid. i gave him an ultimatum, either he gets back on his meds or he loses his family, but not a chance for me to stay while he so-called does it. If he really does his meds and all that, there is a chance we'll reconcile (in 6 months to a year), but honestly, i doubt he will do it, don't you? i am planning to move to mocksville, not anytime soon, though. i'm going there when robbie and sheena move to Va. They are also thinking about charlotte, so i am rooting for that. the story i wrote about what bryan did and my stupidity.... i call it Profane Love She was afraid. She shivered in fear. “I won’t do it.” She thought in her most stern voice.“And no one can make me.” That’s when she heard a garbled voice come from nowhere. “Gagglele gah, gah, GAH!” She turned and looked at her son. His innocent eyeslooked into hers, so trusting. His smile warmed herlike sunbeams. Then she went cold again. “I won’t do it.” The girl walked from the crib, ignoring her son’searsplitting protests. She lifted her chin and lookeddown her nose at her reflection. The bruises had gonefrom purple to a tan kind of color. She rubbed herneck softly. Even that feather touch made her wince,though from memory more than pain. Her husband had attacked her again the other night. Ithad been so long, almost six months, since he’d doneit, that she’d really begun to believe that part ofher life was over. What a joke. Here were thefootprints to prove she’d been walked on again. The argument had started over things that made nosense. He’d been angry with her for crying. He’d beenfurious that she was sad. It happened fast. One minute she was sobbing, “Whydon’t you care? Why are you angry that I’m sad?” The next moment she was sideways on the ground. Herneck was pinned to floor by his forearm. She waschoking! Breath was fading away. The dark room wasgrowing darker. Then just as suddenly the incredible pressure on herneck was gone. Her lungs were assailed with a wave ofcold air as her body took over breathinginstinctively. She was in shock. She felt like she wasfloating or dreaming awake. She heard voices. “ Oh, God. Don’t act like you were really hurt.” “I’m just afraid one day I’ll get a call from thehospital telling me you’re hurt or dead.” “He’d never do that, Mom. He wouldn’t kill me.” “I didn’t want to leave you. I just couldn’t live withHIM anymore.” “You are such a drama queen. Get off the floor.” The voices kept coming, floating through her mind andweaving together in a loose tapestry. Figures,blood-red, stood against the black garment behind hereyelids. She opened her eyes, wincing as light washedeverything around her in fuzzed outlines. She lookedforward at a map. It held on it many paths, deeplyetched into its surface. Then the image sharpened andshe stared at her reflection. Her son garbled in the background again. Her husband walked behind her, his face appearingbeside hers like a grinning ghost. Ignoring herhealing wounds, he ran his fingers over the veinpulsing in her neck. Another shiver ran up her body. Her son cried out louder. She turned and shut the door to drown the cries, then,dropping the robe on her shoulders to the floor, fellinto her profane love. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 29,March,2004 | I always wished to run away. To have my own hidy-hole that no one but me and maybe my shadow would ever find. I fantasized about this special hidden place of mine. I could think there. I wouldn't be bothered. I would never come back. Then I flew one day to a far away place. I left behind everyone and everything that I loved and hated. Then I mourned both emotions loss. Isn't that a bitch? |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 27,March,2004 | Hey this is pretty cool. I've been hangin' in Greenville with my sis the last coupla days. The chicklet is married and having a baby in 7 months or so, and we're taking her to the OBGYN tomorrow. I'm at the library now... my favorite place... BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!!! yay! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 27,March,2004 | i am so so so boring... i am a husk... i looked through my archives and saw light there.... where did it go... i know it is still here somewhere, buried beneath the rubble... Pitch Black Knight ...you're in the dark deep in ...fathomlessly so drowning for breath 'neath inky flow and the light in the corner ...a red door low leaping and roaring fires below lost, you are ...never going home no goodbyes to be had ...only night to roam |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 30,April,2004 | i am trying something new today... i am going to type without thinking and say whatever comes into my mind for the next five minutes that i am alloted here at the library. of course not knowing what to say only stops me if i don't talk. i've always been good at talking about nothing, a born politician some would say. my sister just interupted my ramblings so i lost my train of thought, but that's okay i didn't know what i was thinking about in the first place. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 27,April,2004 | 'Sure I'll take her out. I'll even wine her and dine her first if the money's right.' He tried to sound tough, but it was obvious he was excited. And the money WAS right. It spilled from his pockets like a fountain leaving a slug-like trail of green from bar to bar for the rest of that night. It was his last night of freedom, and I figured he should enjoy it while he could. Meanwhile, I went home, stripped (no pun intended), and stood under a hot shower. I sighed as body glitter, mascara, and the stiff goddess Aerosol, slid down my body, over my toes, and followed a whirlpool into oblivion. I was finally rid of my cape and tights and could slick back my forehead curl, slip on my horned rimmed glasses and sleep. The next morning, I prepared the apartment for a visitor. When everything was in place, I called in 'sick', and readied myself for the coming night. I chose a soft pink gown that was oriental in style, and covered everything from neck to ankles. It also clung to my curves with every move and was slit to the hip on either side. I wore little make-up, taking care not to cover my freckles, and I pulled my hair into a bun held tight with sparkling chopsticks. I took a look in the mirror to see a girl-next-door all dressed up for a night on the town smiling at me. Perfect! I pulled open the mirror, reaching to the cabinet behind to grab a plastic amber-colored bottle of Black Magic, complete with a child-proof cap. I dropped it into my purse, applied some lip gloss and waited for the doorman to buzz me. 'There's a gentleman by the name of...' I interrupted him with the push of a button. I didn't want to know his name. 'I'll be right down, Henry.' I came through the elevator doors to see Joe Normal standing nervously in a cheap suit, a bouquet of yellow carnations hanging by his side. He looked up at me expectantly, then looked over my shoulder. I winked when his gaze came back to me, and he looked surprised. He hadn't recognized me, which was the point and I was pleased. 'These are for you.' He squeaked, holding the flowers before him. I fingered the bottle, beneath the fabric of my purse, ignored the flowers, and offered him my arm. This was going to be too easy. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 26,April,2004 | There wasn't anything special about him. He wasn't especially good looking or even noticeably ugly. He was a regular guy, mid to late thirties, brown hair, brown eyes, not fat, not skinny. Fuck, his name might as well have been Joe Normal the Office Worker. He was another horny guy in a long line of horny guys sitting around a greasy bar top. He used one fist and a dollar bill as good excuse to touch a 19 year-old sweaty thigh while the other moved under his pants, knuckles rubbing raw against cheap polyester. Still, there was something different about him, hidden as it may have been to others. I noticed it right away, having seen hundreds of leering faces from between my knees, their noses almost touching my G-string, their faces a sickening display of male weakness. Hell, Oprah says strip bars exploit women. She should come out sometime... two minutes in the place and any idiot can see the MEN are the ones being exploited. Anyway, to get back to what I was saying; Mr. Joe Normal wasn't leering or poking his nose in places it didn't belong and his eyes weren't the glazed over pre-cum-lit eyes of the other customers. His eyes were desperate, lonely... remembering and wishing all at once, and he had a dreamy smile on his face. His eyes spoke to me and, though they startled me at first, (Hell, a girl gets USED to leers in a place like this!) I chose him without a second thought. I sent Tiny with a wad of money and an offer Joe Normal, the Adventure Seeker wouldn't refuse. Tiny looked like the stereotypical bouncer. No neck, some muscle but mostly fat, and so friggin' BIG that he had to have an un original nick name filled with irony. Tiny was my spokesperson because he had a soft voice and spoke intelligently. He was also good at filtering the guys I chose, just in case I'd made a bad decision. Once Joe Normal got the point that Tiny was for real, he took the job willingly enough. 'Sure I'll take her out. I'll even wine her and dine her first if the money's right.' He tried to sound tough, but it was obvious he was excited. And the money WAS right. It spilled from his pockets like a fountain leaving a slug-like trail of green from bar to bar for the rest of that night. It was his last night of freedom, and I figured he should enjoy it while he could. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 23,April,2004 | OH man is it raining outside. I feel like curling into a rather large ball and napping the day away. Then a huge wad of mucus and plums a'la Gerber hit me in the face and i realize.... there are no naps... only baby... hey i am loving my life for once. sky brings it all together for me. no real complaints... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 23,April,2004 | The ultimate country bumpkin is hot chocolate and sweet tea all in one. He loves to sing and he abhors dancing. He enjoys running and loathes walking. His eyes are like cornstalks and his feet the color of gravy. Don't you agree? |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 22,April,2004 | Alrighty, i have a couple of mins to write in something here before the library closes and i am kicked to the streets. i have have been reading some of my 2003 blogs and lamenting over my stupidity. I allowed this man to tret me like crap... it was my own fault after the second chance, and 2000+ chances, i guess i finally figured it out... boy oh boy have i been an idiot and the future prolly holds some idiocy as well... oh wellzers i am single now and loving it... i never miss ant... must not be love... A RESOUNDING..... duh echoes through the hall... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 17,April,2004 | random thought: what if we took all the granny's and gave them their own planet? i got up 2 damn early for a chick that went to bed at 4 in the morning, give or take a few... MOMENTS! Sky does not let me sleep. He is not happy when i have my eyes closed, and he's glad to pull himself up BY ME OWN PRAY-SHUS HAIR! (everybody say OWWW!!! okay. that's enough.) so i decided i would go with kimmie afterall since sleep wasn't available to me. what else would i do anyway? Stare at the walls until 2 o'clock? the day turned out alright. I saw a bunch of interesting faces. One old lady on the bus reminded me of Granny. She looked like her. ( a bit darker as she was black) and she acted like her (you're not doing that right, honey!) it was surreal. kimmie only got to see her precious teddy bear for 45 mins, tho.... that sux... sky was cool... slept a little and charmed everyone in sight... nothign new there! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 14,April,2004 | today is just another day... another dollar... wait a minute... i don't even have a dollar... today is just another day... another penny.... that's better. i can do that. woke up to the boopy pulling my hair. the kid won't sleep lately... has a third tooth peircing through his little gums that brings pain to my head just thinking about it. anyway. i am at the library now with my sis. she is feelign better today though she seems to be pining for her teddy bear at the moment. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 13,April,2004 | sometimes it amazes me that humans have survived this long! The stupid things that people do continue to ASTOUND me! my good ol' hubby... yep the bastard himself, is up to his old tricks... too bad i am not around to be amazed by them, eh? here is a copy of his amazingly poignant email... hey you could have called me and told me you where not going to bring sky down for easter that 2 holidays i missed with you and him ::tear:: are those violins i hear playing in the background? |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 12,April,2004 | Okay so I had this totally killer scare on EASTER of all holy days! My sis , Ms Prego herself, starts bleeding... and i don't mean a trickle either... a GUSH... ::shiver:: Don't worry I was cool, calm, and collected... saved the day really... NOT... I had to twist my legs into a pink and white barber pole not to pee on myself, had to tie pillows to my head to prevent a concusion from running into walls, had to screw on a large... well you get the picture. I was freaked out beyond recgonition... not a new state for me... she's in the hospital for hours and hours and hours... i'm pacing a new trench in the middle of the living room... but she's okay... thank GEE OH DEE! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 06,April,2004 | You know what? The voices in my head are pretty nice to me sometimes. Today one of them let me go the whole morning without once making do anything evil. I think things are looking up! |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 05,April,2004 | i have nothing to say... ironic considering i just said something, huh? i just put in a commment thingie... kewl. |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 04,April,2004 | 'Oh, MU-U-USE... Where are you?' C'mon gimmee something! A tiny idea or a fragment of inspiration. If brain storm isn't in the forcast, I'd be willing to settle for a tiny drizzle! Look Muse! I'm begging for scraps here! Haven't I been good to you? Haven't I fed you classic poetry and good art?' Muse takes a drink of chocolate milk and responds. 'What about that Mad magazine and those episodes of Jerry Springer? I spoke to Conscience. I know he warned you about them, gave nice little dollops of advice and warnings against brain rot. Now I've gotten used to easy entertainment, and I'm not into working up a sweat. Go away. Leave me alone. Wait a sec. I have an idea. Why don't you pop a couple of hot-pockets in the microwave and move from in front of the tube. You're a pain, not a window! Oh great! Now I missed what Montel was saying! Thanks alot...' |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 04,April,2004 | i need psychological help and now... that means you... help me... oh yeah i guess you don't have time... you have what you like to call a LIFE right, and you think you're better than me because mine revolves around a short, fat, bald guy with two teeth that drools all the time, defecates on himself, and farts louder than my baby brother... if you are offended by my defensiveness than feel free to pretend you aren't... this is a P.C. world, it isn't allowed anymore. we all have to pretend to like each other and don't foforget it. i am just chillin' with my sis still... took her to the hospital today and so far they think she's due in august. i talked to my MIL the other day and she's supposed to come by before i go home to NC... so far, i haven't heard from her, though... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 04,April,2004 | 'Ah ain't no Gaw-danged rockin' hog! Ah am a ardist! I dee-MAND tah be treated lock a ardist! But not you! NO! Nevah you! You thinks you'z better den dem? Is that whut? Do you ser-silly think Ah need dah locks uv you tellin' me whut's rot and whuts wrong? Ah know whut Ah am and Ah am the only one who duz whut Ah do the way Ah do it! Women all the world over, Gaw-danged booty-ful women, starts tah wettin' on dem-selves dah min-it dey hear mah voice. Now that you got that straight, get me that sam-itch Gaw-dammit! And this time NO mayo!' |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 04,April,2004 | today nothing interesting has happened... nothing at all... my life is boring at the moment... so, what better to do than talk about the boringness of my life? okay, so it's Sunday, a pretty day, I am spending it reading mostly and playing with Sky... the weather is weird lately... warm with a chilling breeze... i never know how to dres the little guy lately... thank god for snaps... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 02,April,2004 | Today all I did is shop... i hate shopping... it was kinda cool to tell kimmie she could have whatever she wanted though... i usually can't do that... |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 01,April,2004 | What if 'What if' Wasn't a 'What' or an 'If' or even a question but instead a sighing wistful 'If Only' |
2,229,888 | female | 26 | Student | Aquarius | 08,May,2004 | This has been a really horrible couple of days; First I lost my wallet, which contains all my identity/insurance cards for myself and Sky, then, today, someone stole my son's stroller! Both of these instances are my fault. I probably set my wallet somewhere and forgot it, and I left the stroller outside last night without realizing it. I've spent the last 2 hrs retracing my steps in the heat of summer, trying to find the wallet... I don't even care if the money's gone! ARGH!!!! On a good note; I talked to one of my closest friends, Lance, the other day. I was feeling UBER bummed today until I got a letter from him! He and Matt are still together and doing great. I miss them like crazy, but I may be visiting soon. Mom said she would even babysit Sky one weekend, so I can have some fun. It is tempting, but I am not sure if I could survive it! ! ! ! |
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