reviewId
int64 363k
588k
| userId
int64 33.9k
15.9M
| itemId
int64 1
1.42M
| rating
float64 1
10
| title
stringlengths 1
10.9k
⌀ | content
stringlengths 81
11.6k
⌀ |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
514,937 | 317,399 | 378,661 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : They Came Back
|
The horror . . . the horror ! No , the movie's nothing frightening , but in fact , it bored me to tears . You can literally take a leak , go to the snack bar , have a smoke , and return to the theatre , missing absolutely nothing . Half the time I was wondering whether something remotely interesting will crop up midway to quicken the pace , but I was dead wrong . The movie is meant to be painfully and excruciatingly slow , for it to bring forth its philosophy about life and death , and its abstract ideas about existentialism . The big question presented , though it is hardly ever gonna come true anyway , is how will society react if the dead suddenly became alive again ? The issues that are posed , from housing to employment to health care and even human rights ( ! ) , are those that are any government's nightmare . The movie begins with stoned elderly folks walking , and walking , and walking some more when the opening credits rolled , until it is said that the dead are walking the earth , and are quickly scrambled to makeshift holding areas while awaiting the relatives to come claim them , and for everyone else to try and make sense of this phenomenon . Perhaps Heaven is getting crowded , or Hell has frozen over , that the departed need to return to the land of the living . They do not crave the blood of man , but rather , are finding ways to integrate back into society . Herein lies the opportunity for philosophy that is unappreciated by myself . There are different viewpoints presented via various characters , but all that is worth recalling , is that the dead are not pleased to be alive , and those alive are absolutely clueless as to what to do next . Bottom line is , let sleeping dogs lie . One thing's for sure , I don't really like abstract zombies . Give me those that crave for flesh and blood anytime !
|
515,277 | 317,399 | 1,213,644 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Disaster Movie
|
I guess the title already tells you everything you need to know about the movie . It is without a doubt a total disaster . I still find it quite amazing that writer directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer still managed to get funds to have their films made , after equally disastrous unfunny comedies such as Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans ( OK , I shall unabashedly say that I enjoyed Date Movie ) , because while it's spoof after spoof , it certainly isn't cheap trying to replicate certain stuff , even if done laced with loads of cheese , or swede-d . Should there be a story linking everything little crazy thing together , then it would be Cloverfield , where a group of friends Will ( Matt Lanter , whose left year I found strangely out of alignment with his right ? ) , Calvin ( G . Thang ) , Juney ( Crista Flanagan ) , Lisa ( Kimberly Kardashian ) and the Enchanted Princess ( Nicole Parker ) journey to save Amy ( Vanessa Minnillo ) before getting themselves out of the city to escape some unknown and best forgotten natural calamity , where the threat of mankind is raining cows . The only merit I would give the filmmakers is how they went ballistic and stretched their imagination to milk every possible opportunity to script in some other movie , be it borrowing characters or premise . You'd probably lose count at the something-new-at-every-minute strategy , and frankly speaking , they're at best some skits which for the life of me , are totally unfunny . Nada , zilch , nothing to laugh about . I guess even kids will find the juvenile humour here a total turn off . Which is not strange , considering that even jokes were borrowed , and relied too heavily on the usual toilet humour , which is already so tired . While there are comedies which can be original , the pedigree of Friedberg and Seltzer , coming as scriptwriters for Scary Movie ( s ) , would by now reinforce that they make poor stories and jokes from their lack of innovation . Being able to string together countless of movies is one thing , but making a genuine and workable comedy is another . Not having an established cast to star in your movie might stem from a modest budget to work with , but I'm likely to think that everyone approached , save for the relative no-names here , would not want to touch this even with a ten foot pole , just in case it really stinks and stain their filmography . I think it's even time for me to put a foot down and say No to Friedberg and Seltzer . The powers that be should really dry up the credit line that fuel their productions , and given some belt-tightening in the economy , hopefully this should be soon .
|
514,898 | 317,399 | 479,968 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : One Missed Call
|
One Missed Call gets filed amongst Hollywood Remakes of Japanese Horror that shouldn't have been green lighted in the first place . I suppose with the likes of so many of such remakes , the supposed winning formula would be to adopt the story , slap some relatively known actors in it , and employ every trick in the Hollywood horror book , and expect the box offices to go ka-ching ! Wrong ! One Missed Call happens to be One Big Bore ! I am beginning to affirm that horror remakes by Hollywood are a waste of time . What made the Asian ones work , is because of a certain X-factor appeal in them , pertaining to the building of atmospheric mood , which plays a key role in maintaining tension , and some really ingenious and innovative ways of exposing the ghoul for a good scare . Hollywood instead dives straight into such scenes with so much noise , even the ghoul would have run away . It doesn't mean that with a bigger budget and better special effects , it's an automatic triumphing over the relatively lower key originals . They work for a reason , and more money being thrown at it , is just not the answer . I am curious to know how Edward Burns would have truly thought about his role here , as well as the storyline . A filmmaker himself , I guess he needed to pay the bills and perhaps fund his own projects too . I had enjoyed his performance in 15 Minutes and Confidence , not masterpieces but at least a tad enjoyable , and while he has the occasional dud like A Sound of Thunder , I thought his role here as a generic cop , really took the cake . It's just so lazy a character , he got slapped into the thick of things in pure coincidental fashion , and not to mention just going through the motions of it all , looking concerned most of the time , and being cut out of the action for the most parts too conveniently . Shannyn Sossamon probably had everyone take notice with her lead female role in A Knight's Tale , alongside Heath Ledger and Paul Bettany . While her male co-stars went on to bigger and better roles , she got perpetually stuck with unremarkable ones , and with turkeys such as this . In true Final Destination style , her friends around her start dying after she hears their missed call / voice messages , which contains their last utterances on Earth , before their untimely demise , the exact moment all coldly printed on the LCD screen of their mobile phone . Even the deaths too seem uninventive , and so bad I would've settled for a simple knife stabbing just to get over it . And the supporting characters ? Don't bother . Too many one dimensional roles here which calls for half exposed cleavage to spice things up a little and hold the attention of pimply boys it hopes to target in the audience . I tell you , one more of this demonic kid nonsense , and that's it , it get a stamp of rejection . What's with demonic kids ? Can we get over this group already ? Can we move on from crazed children who probably needed a good spanking to slap the devil out of them ? And move on too from the creaking doors , insipid light and shadow play , sudden crescendos in the soundtrack , and cheap shots passing off as " ingenious " ways to scare the audience . It's boring when it doesn't get done right , and comes off as lackadaisical . But what's truly scary , would be you downloading from somewhere , the ring tone that is featured in the movie , and into your friends mobile phone . It's now synonymous with impeding doom and death , so if you want to wish someone ill-will , then this is your ringtone of choice . If I can create a ringtone and make money out of it , then this is the one to create , right now before the fad dies off . One missed call ? Don't return the call please , and delete it from your phone records . For good . Skip it and don't bother with the rental .
|
515,402 | 317,399 | 481,797 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Youth Without Youth
|
I guess everyone would have waited with bated breaths at what Francis Ford Coppola would have presented as his first directorial effort after 10 years . I for one , enticed by the trailer , thought that Youth Without Youth would have been a decent force to be reckoned with , given its lush visuals and somewhat a compelling storyline as presented , but alas what had become of that potential ? In many ways , this movie was lazy , and its convoluted plot being unable to make any headway , being just a plain bore , totally smashed any notions of this being a grand masterpiece . In fact , when the end credits rolled , I wondered just what had Coppola smoked in order to come up with something so seriously horrendous and unpalatable ? If I were cruel , I could've interpreted this as one huge dream sequence from start to end , and you know just how cheap a narrative that would be . Youth Without Youth , based on the novel by Mircea Eliade , tells of a story of an aged linguist Dominic ( Tim Roth ) , who is on a suicidal mission , only to have it thwarted , sort of , in advance by higher powers . He gets electrocuted by lightning , but survives and recuperates at a hospital . But it seems that that little jolt of electricity begins to rejuvenate his tired body cells , and he gets to his surprise , younger . Hence the title , sort of , as his prowess of reading by waving his hand as if a practitioner of the Jedi Mind Trick , utterly makes him the most learned man in the universe . But of course I am exaggerating here . Set during WWII , this kind of capabilities sets off the alarm bells of the Third Reich , and needless to say , he's the target of some serious reverse engineering to find out the secret behind his fountain of youth . Embroiled into some spy versus spy stuff , with the introduction of Veronica ( Alexandra Maria Lara ) , a spy who resembled his lost sweetheart , they romance each other , then go jet setting round the world , and truly , there's where the movie lost its plot , somewhere in Timbuktu , especially when lightning does strike twice and she blabbers expertly in Sanskrit , and has an adverse effect on her age . Seriously , everyone in the movie should be struck by lightning , and you can build a tower of babel in the heart of nowhere . Granted , the cinematography was lush , but everything else was just plain boring . It tried to be intellectual with Dominic's quest to discover the origins of language , though some may argue that it's quite a focused romance story and the likes , I'd say blah to that , as it's quite clearly an attempt to be arty , but fell flat to become farty . You can sense the load of pretentiousness throughout the film , in trying to be far more than it actually is , and junked common sense for an elitist " so you're too dense to understand the film " . Tim Roth could have saved the movie , if not for his charismatic presence in becoming a Smeagol / Gollum character with his Dominic engaging himself in conversation for the most parts . But sorry , Andy Serkis had already done that to perfection , and through CGI to boot . Youth Without Youth had potential , and if you're as equally convinced about that as I was when you watch the trailer , my advise is to stick that few minutes to memory , as the actual film is overwrought with elements that bore , and an unforgivable convoluted plot heading nowhere other than that which spells disaster .
|
514,956 | 317,399 | 417,976 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : The Promise
|
The trailers , the posters , the casting , all looked promising . Sadly , the storyline is one heck of a convoluted one , and I hate to use the word , but absurd is what The Promise is . This is a fantasy picture as promoted , and true enough , it is , so much that you have to leave your brains at the door . In trying to sound intelligent , the plot fumbles and ended up really unconvincing . It's all style and little substance . To associate this with martial arts films is to insult the genre , and one shouldn't even mention this film nor compare it to Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger , Hidden Dragon . It's time filmmakers wake up to the idea that CTHD is a one-off that cannot be replicated . Do not try to go one up by having characters fly faster , higher , harder . Or run so fast they can break the space-time continuum and time travel . Science fiction this is not . Yet , you cannot fault the cinematography , which seemed beautiful , until a closer scrutiny makes it so obvious that it's CGI created . Think Storm Rider's special effects in the creation of its world , there is no improvement in the refinement of graphics in The Promise after so many years . Does this mean that only the West can come up with believable CGI worlds for audiences ? Plot loopholes are abound , and you can drive a horde of running bulls right through it . You also get the usual villain driven soliloquy at the finale explaining his grudge he unbelievably held for so long ( and the lengths he goes to settle it ) , and some homosexual undertones in one of the minor characters too . Hip ? Guess not . What fails in plot delivery is having drag on what is obvious to the audience ( but not to a character ) for too long . In fact , almost the entire length of the movie . It wearies the audience , and insults the audience's intelligence . So what's this movie about ? It's a love triangle of sorts , between a Princess ( Cecilia Cheung ) , a General of the Crimson Army ( Japan's Hiroyuki Sanada ) , and his slave Kunlun ( Korea's Jang Dong Gun ) . Playing the chief villain is Nicholas Tse , whose pretty boy looks probably made his character less threatening . Destiny is the running theme of the movie , where each character is destined for certain goals and events , and one in which is set in stone . Cursed by a fairy when young , the Princess is not to find true love , until impossible conditions are met . And the General too is foretold the elements leading to his impending death . What started off plotwise , as promising , degenerated into a web of blah which I wince at by just recalling it . Are there any saving graces in the movie ? Yes , but they are few . Look out for the fights involving Nicholas Tse , where I thought his use of the fan as a lethal boomerang was a marvel to watch . Cecilia Cheung also lit up the screen , but not for her acting nor the character's development though . The editing of a love scene too was uncalled for to get a PG rating , so that more audiences could fill the theatres . I reckon the word of mouth for this film will unsettle that . Hiroyuki Sanada and Jang Dong Gun , I guess , tried their best with the flimsily weak storyline to deliver their lines in Mandarin . Better that way too , with the rubbish I hope they don't understand . If there is any movie which failed to live up to its hype , this movie is it , miserably . I'm sad to say that this is easily one of the worst films of the year . One more thing , they should have subtitled the opening titles explaining the background of the movie too , if they want to target non-mandarin speaking audiences . Slip-shoddy , careless start to a Chen Kaige disappointment .
|
514,833 | 317,399 | 461,970 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Invisible Waves
|
If this is going to be someone's maiden entry into Pen-Ek Ratanatuang's movies , then I dare say that he's not going to win any new fans with this piece of crap . Might even lose the old ones too . Not that I've watched all his films ( missed the retrospective during the symposium last year ) , but Invisible Waves was a rude introduction . It's basically an extremely weak piece of storytelling , with a non-existent , juvenile story . I equate it to a primary school kid's first composition , and the worst kid in class can come up with something more imaginative and interesting . The story does not engage at all , and the characters , you'd wish that they all die to save you the misery of trying to understand them . So what if it's lensed by Christopher Doyle ? Here , his images come up poorly . While the technique might work with Wong Kar Wai's movies ( at least there's a decent , understandable story ) , someone should advise Doyle that one technique doesn't always necessary fit all . It makes you come across as a one trick pony . The sea , very interesting to look at ? If you have meaning to it , fine , but there isn't . Oh , the characters walk out of the frame and you only hear voices . That's cool ? No , what's with that dumb ship hull in the frame ? It makes you wonder if it's done for the sake of doing it , rather than to go back to the old school method of properly tracking a scene . And what of the weak story ? For the first time , I'd say don't trust all the synopsis out there , even if it's IMDb . com . It makes it sound more interesting , and could probably be filmed in a better way by an amateur filmmaker . Kyoji ( Asano Tadanobu ) , a Japanese chef cum hit-man living in Macau , is having an affair with his boss's wife . He's instructed to kill her , and like all obedient servant , performs the deed , and like all Hong Kong mafiaso movies , he has to take a hike to another country after the hit . Which brings him to Phuket , Thailand , but not before actually having to spend an hour's worth of run time doing absolutely nothing on board a ship ( which does not move by the way - tells you how good the production values are ) . It plays out like an unfunny , contrived episode of Mr Bean , where everything that could go wrong , would go wrong , with repetitive tired dialogue of having to deal with an unresponsive reception ( makes you wonder if Asians are that dumb ) . He meets a single mother called Noi ( Kang Hye-Jeong , I think pan-Asian collaboration getting hip these days , even if they speak horrendously in English ) , who is so weak a character , you could write her off the script as she does absolutely nothing , even at the ending ( hello , we got a situation here and you're admiring your damn ring ? ) . It doesn't matter anymore when Kyoji finally arrives at Phuket , gets into the same situation as while on the ship , gets robbed ( oei , you hit-man , but you're one heckuva lousy one ) , and gets help from Lizard , who turns out to be his hunter , tasked to silence Kyoki . But they sure beat around the bloody bush to get to this point . And from there , you would've wondered that in any reel or real world , the entire scenario as played out from that point all the way to the finale , is hokey . It's poor storytelling , it's bad script , it's utter crap . I also credit this film with having one of the weakest mob boss villain , with no credibility , and the actor playing him , zero expression . If I can give out the equivalent of the Razzies , this movie will win 11 of them - bad screenplay , bad acting ( times 4 ) , bad direction , bad cinematography , bad music , bad costumes , bad production design and bad picture . The saving graces of the movie is actually the appearance of Hong Kong veterans Eric Tsang and Maria Cordero . Just the appearance , not their characters or what they do or say , just for that cheap laugh of " hey , I recognize them , what made them sign on the dotted line ? " I think it's high time that filmmakers realize that pieces of crap doesn't equate to works of art . This is pretentious art at its worst . This is a horribly reeking piece of crap , it's still early into the year , but already a contender for worst movie . Save your money , and save your time - don't even bother watching this , even if it's a pirated free copy . Find a better movie to sit on the Picturehouse's Oscar chair .
|
514,784 | 317,399 | 435,705 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Next
|
I was wondering the strange selection of Nicolas Cage movies to hit the big screens here . There was no love for his Weather Man or Lord of War , which seem on the surface to be probable successes , and I thought World Trade Center was a mediocre effort , no doubt hitting the big screens because of the subject matter , and helmed by Oliver Stone , who seem to be quite muted and didn't turn on the controversy tap . His latest , recent effort in Ghost Rider was fun , but unmemorable . Philip K . Dick's science fiction stories too have their fair share of hits and misses when translated to the silver screen . There's the cult classic Blade Runner by Ridley Scott , the box - office success of Total Recall by Paul Verhoeven , the new-age photo-realistic animation A Scanner Darkly by Richard Linklater , Steven Spielberg's Minority Report credited with Colin Farrell's noticeable appearance , and John Woo's Paycheck which made Uma Thurman look ugly without the use of prosthetics . Big stars too get attached to these pictures , from Harrison Ford to Tom Cruise to Arnold Schwarzenegger , each featured in diverse stories that the author has on offer , and most from short stories too . But what about the combination of Lee Tamahori and Nicolas Cage ? Disaster . I've not read the short on which Next is based , but this movie failed Basic Storytelling 101 . It sets up pre-determined rules , and goes ahead to break them all , while trying to be too smart about it , and they say pride comes before a fall - didn't any crew notice those huge warning signs ? And it's not about the illogicality of time travel nor its associated paradoxes either . It's pure laziness in development , an obsessed focus in its mediocre action sequences , and without a clue in knowing how to end a story . Nicolas Cage plays Cris Johnson with Tom Hank's haircut from The Da Vinci Code . Johnson is a Las Vegas illusionist who's successful in his job because of his curse in being able to see things before they happen . Well , just anything two minutes ahead , and only if it directly involves himself . The only time that this rule doesn't seem to hold , is that he frequently daydreams about Liz ( Jessica Biel ) , with whom he thinks he shares a mysterious connection with . The FBI is unto some terrorists who have placed a nuclear device in California , and one of its agents Callie Ferris ( Julianne Moore ) is after Johnson to seek his abilities to help them , while the baddies are after everyone else , in one of lamest reasons ever - since the FBI wants Johnson , let's waste time finishing him off . While there were tons of promise in the movie with a premise like that , you get frequently irritated when Tamahori playbacks scenes on repeat , pulling that sleight of hand that says , OK , that's what's happening in Johnson's mind , you'll following his 2-min peek into the future , and we go back again . But the 2 minutes seem to go onto 3 , 4 , 5 minutes , until the ultimate sleight of hand pulled and played too far back , it's plain ludicrous . It's fine and dandy for a while , until its self fulfilling prophecy . No doubt it tries to redeem itself by playing on a paradox - that things change when you look ahead ( and alter a particular course of action ) , but as I've already mentioned , it's lazy . And the special effects were lazy too , with nothing done that an audience have never seen before , and to make things worse , some looked horribly fake . There's also an action routine going to make its staple this year ( the other one noted was in the Die Hard 4 . 0 trailer ) , and that's the " ducking from a mid-air flying car " routine . The rest looked like the Matrix's " bullet time / dodge while the bullets are flying at you / look mom I can split myself " effects , which wears on after a while . Cage sleepwalks through the role , no doubt assisted by a world weary character , while Jessica Biel is totally wasted in a role that could have been played by any Playboy Playmate of the Year , and that's just to put her twin peaks forward on screen . Julianne Moore seemed to have reminisce her time playing FBI agent Clarice Starling from Hannibal , and you would have expect Hannibal Lecter himself to make an appearance and start eating everyone else - now that would make a better movie . Next has my vote as one of the worst movie of the year for pulling that kinda rug from underneath your feet . It's title says it all , don't waste your time on this . Next !
|
515,030 | 317,399 | 944,184 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : The Passion
|
This Year's Most Controversial Sex Thriller proclaims the blurb on the promotional poster . Whoever wrote that must either be out of their minds , or must have watched a different version which contained so many raunchy sequences they were left out for private consumption . But it worked though , as I theatre I went to had screenings which totally sold out . To suckers easily believing the marketing department of course . And putting Bongkoj Khongmalai in a seductive pose on the poster worked wonders too . To put it in the correct context , this movie is not a sex thriller , and it actually brings back memories of those 80s Hong Kong B-grade flicks which go straight to video . The presentation is messy with its convoluted plot , and have characters in which all are extremely unlikable . While it tries to be a little smart in offering its twist ending , it's too little too late , and try as you might to understand the intended storyline , its slack delivery has already done too much damage to salvage anything . Set in a multiplex cinema complex over the course of one night , Bongkoj Khongmalai ( one of the Chai-Lai Angels , in case you find her familiar ) stars as a lady seemingly obsessed with watching every movie in that new multiplex , buying one ticket for every screening , only to find the right moment with gathered courage to stab herself in an act of suicide . However , the lecherous security manager of the complex will have none of that , as he turns it into his obsession to rape her . And that's almost the gist of the movie . Just to show how corrupt the security manager is , he deals drugs to employees on the side , and makes extra income ( by the millions ) in selling " porn " based on covert CCTV cameras which he has strategically placed in female washrooms and changing rooms . Basically the plot and premise doesn't have too much logic involved , and it definitely cannot be classified as a thriller as it just doesn't have the pizazz to be one . Added to the mix are a host of throwaway characters like a head goon from security who's infatuated with a spunky cleaner lady , who in turn is smitten with the cinema usher , who in turn owes loads of money to the security manager because of his drug addiction . After we're introduced to the characters , we're led to episode after episode of simple scheming to get rich , women trying to escape capture by fighting off security folks in really bad fight action sequences which throws in everything and almost involved the kitchen sing , and plot loopholes so big you can fly an aeroplane through . Sex sells , but this movie definitely shortchanged everyone with bad story , acting , everything . Even the R21 rating for violence is laughable , as those scenes came off as amateurish and more comedic than horrific , fake blood , bad CGI and all .
|
515,186 | 317,399 | 290,212 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Full Frontal
|
2 words : It SUCKS ! OK , so sue me , perhaps i don't know how to appreciate this film , so if you do , write a comment will ya ? This movie starts off as a movie within a movie , called Rendezvous . For the next hour , you're left wondering what the heck is this movie all about . Simple . Basically just telling you stories behind those characters leading up to their attending a director's ( Gus , played by Duchonvy , less than 10 mins screen time mind you ) birthday party . Characters include a black actor ( Blair Underwood ) , a white actress ( Julia Roberts ) , a HR vice president of some company , her sister who's going to meet some guy whom she knew from IRC , that guy from the IRC who didn't really tell her frankly who he was ( some art director rather than a painter ) , a stage actor , and many others you probably won't give a hoot about . However , the only saving grace was David Fincher and Brad Pitt playing themselves . Watch out for Fincher's spoof of his own directing style ( the endless reshoots of even simple scenes involving only 1 spoken line ) . Although the movie is draggy , stay on during the end credits where you get to see some contrived behind the scenes shots , as well as a Brad Pitt " Easter Egg " scene right at the end . That is if you still have the patience to torture yourself through it all . A lot of people in my screening left halfway through the show , and those who forced themselves to sit through the ending because they paid $8 . 50 darted out of the theatre once the credits start rolling . Don't watch , unless you really think you can pretend to understand the show .
|
515,477 | 317,399 | 278,674 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Return to Pontianak
|
Asian horror movies have always been popular here , and even local film The Maid by Kelvin Tong managed to strike gold at the box office , here and overseas as well , going against the grain of thought that local movies do not make money . However , in the recent surge of local movie making , there was another Singapore horror movie made , Return to Pontianak , which seemed to hold some promise with its reimagining / retelling of the legendary Malay female spirit . There were signs that it was bad - a friend's warning , and the turnout for the screening was a paltry 10-15 persons , but I just had to watch it for myself . The verdict ? This made in 2001 movie reeks , and reminds you of failed attempts by filmmakers around the world in taking something quite established , and then giving their own creative spin on it . While some might work , most of them will go the way of the Hollywood Godzilla . If this Pontianak were to go head long with the original Pontianak in a one on one , director Djinn's version will be made to wash the original's flowing white garbs . While the originals made in the 50s and 60s ( I watched Sumpah Pontianak starring Maria Menado ) were cheesy and lacking in grand special effects , they had a lot of heart . This one absolutely doesn't . Made after the highly successful Blair Witch Project ( 1999 ) , this is one movie which should be seen , as a lesson learnt in how NOT to make a horror film . It's strange that much of it emulated Blair Witch , with its forest setting , characters roaming around getting routinely lost , and its highly puke inducing jerky camera motions . While Blair Witch had a reason for it , Return to Pontianak's boils down to budget . Neither has it any scary moments or atmosphere , aside from some mumbo-jumbo recitings and the awful soundtrack which is a horror in itself . While characters in most horror movies are throwaways , and only in established classics that you have a tinge of development , the characters developed for Return to Pontianak are those that happen to be of the irritating kind . They don't look good ( Hollywood compensates for the lack of story with awesome eye candy ) , and neither do they spout interesting lines . Dialogue is awful and contrived , and the bad sound design makes things worse . Caricatures abound , you have a group of five , led by the protagonist called Charity ( Hiep Thi Le ) ( the last time I heard this name was in Hong Kong's StormRiders ) , who developed a sudden urge to seek out her biological parents in the jungles of Pontianak ( hence the title , other than the reference to the " hantu " ) . Joining her are a fugly man-girl called Uzi ( Eleanor Lee ) , whose mouth is automatically set to spout vulgarities like a sub-machine gun , an ignorant slacker ang mo Luke ( Steve Banks ) , the boring techno-geek Raymond ( Victor Khong ) , and a pretty useless and incompetent local guide called Eye ( Fadali ) . For the first hour , nothing much happens , and you have to endure bad bitching , bad acting , bad acting , bad sound , bad cinematography . That is until a mysterious couples appear , and the clichés associated with horror movie making come out in some force , although bad makeup , and more bad acting continue to plague the movie . Thankfully , the sound design improved in the last 30 minutes , but that's because most of the time the movie is silent , save for the rustling sounds of a tropical rainforest . And what of Pontianak herself ? Well , she comes out in the day . Which is preposterous . And she's totally lacking in prowess that made her infamous . Worse yet , this Pontianak is totally devoid of motivations and origins , and doesn't differentiate herself with any other ordinary ghost and goblin out there . For anyone not versed in the Pontianak lore , you might wonder what's the big deal . All in all , an extremely poor retelling . But if there is any consolation , it's that perhaps the filmmakers learnt from this bad episode , and given Djinn's Perth ( 2005 ) , you can see a fairly large jump in terms of storytelling craft . A better budget probably helped , and maybe the realization that something more rooted to earth is the better path for him ? Retitled Voodoo Nightmare for the overseas market , this movie has not much voodoo magic , but plenty of nightmares . Nightmares of a movie gone totally wrong .
|
515,193 | 317,399 | 781,392 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Black Night
|
When I can sit through a horror genre film and actually poke fun at its stupidity , then you know that there really is nothing to be afraid of . While the attempt is good , the delivery is pretty bad . The acting's mediocre at best , and the ghouls look extremely cheap . A Pan-Asian production , we see three different stories , each done with a different director helming the production . What I disliked about the movie is it's passing off 3 distinct horror shorts as a feature length production . They tried to have a unifying theme / element throughout , and it turned out to be the rehash of Ju-On / Dark Water . It's time horror filmmakers know to move on . Not everything must be from puddles of water and little boys you know ? " Next Door " is the Hong Kong portion , directed by Patrick Leung . We see a love triangle being formed between 2 girls and a guy . Well , make that 1 girl , 1 guy and 1 vengeful female spirit , who probably deserved to die in the first place for engaging in kinky sex games involving handcuffs . The ending's pretty ridiculous , and drew laughter rather than terror . What's worse , the characters can't seem to decide what language to speak in . From Cantonese to Mandarin , then to a mixture of both in the same sentence , it suggested that the filmmakers are suffering from lingua-schizophrenia ( ooh , did I just create a new term ? ) . The twist in the end is plain blah , and the little marble boy served no purpose other than to create cheap scares . " Black Hole " is the Japanese section , directed by Takahiko Akiyama . This one provided better scares with its horrific eyes-hollowed-out ghosts and special effects , but the storyline's a plain bore , about an aquarium usher having her past memory wiped out due to some early childhood trauma . It's psycho-analytical blabber which should have shut up and let the scares do the talking . Again there's a little boy involved , and again , a body of water plays an important element . But we don't really care much about it now , do we ? " The Lost Memory " is perhaps the best amongst all three . Directed by Thai Thanit Jitnukul , at least it had a relatively stronger storyline , one which tried to tug at your heartstrings as it dealt with family - an estranged husband and wife , and their child . It talks about promises , and the seeking of closure and forgiveness . But it reeks of Ju-On all over again , and the little boy looked like a Hulk reject with his green skin . Perhaps the only scary factor was the loud fall onto the toilet bowl . Really made you feel the pain . From Reincarnation to Black Night , this week's dark offerings are a joke , a meek attempt to make some moolah . Don't get conned - either watch something else which is worth your time , or wait for the right horror movie to come by . The little boy in Omen666 looks scary enough though - hold onto your hell money for / 06 .
|
515,029 | 317,399 | 794,374 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Summer Palace
|
Continuing my weekend of R21 movies , given that almost every screen in Singapore is showing Spider-Man 3 at the moment , and gives a clear indication on how the other blockbusters in the next 2 months will be treated as well . The Passion was a disappointment , and Summer Palace , somehow didn't live up to its hype , probably drawing curious audiences by the banning of its director Lou Ye from making films in the Mainland for the next 5 years , because he had failed to obtain official permission before screening Summer Palace overseas . In any case , the same old marketing gimmick was to hype that this as the most erotic movie from China , and naturally drew audiences in like bees to honey . I've long classified broadly that movies of the romance genre can usually be grouped into the romantic comedies which Hollywood does well enough , and the romantic tragedies which try to bring out those tears . I've forgotten one more group , so add this to the broad classification now - those that want to titillate . Summer Palace attempts to explore relationships from its leads against the historical backdrop of change in China , but falls flat and seemed to prefer to focus on humping . And even that it degenerates itself into soft porn territory , but at least soft porns are being honest about it . The story is neither a tragedy , or comedy , just plain boring drama infused with plenty of sex , which becomes meaningless , and mechanical after a while with repeated actions that drills down to lack of skills in bed . Both the action and the characters lack the emotional core that grabs the attention of the audience and engage some cerebral on why they are doing what they're doing . Yu Hong ( Lei Hao ) is a village girl staying near the border of China and North Korea , and qualified for Beijing University in the late 80s . Leaving behind her shopkeeper father and a postal service boyfriend who deflowered her in the middle of a road late one night , she goes to the big city , but inside is quite unhappy about it . You know , she's one of those girls with huge emotional baggage problems that nobody , including herself , understands why . Friendship comes in the form of fellow hostel mate Li Ti ( Ling Hu ) , who introduces her to Zhou Wei ( Guo Xiaodong ) at one of those jam and hop sessions , and thereafter they become sex partners trying to heat up the screen . It becomes love found , love lost , making love , love lost , love found , you get the idea . We have confused characters who do not know what to do with each other , and to make things worse , they're promiscuous too , making everything quite frivolous in their quest to satisfy their lust for sex . Even the direction and story became schizophrenic , and with the lack of skill , breezes through events like the Tiananmen Incident , and the fall of Communism with the collapse of the Berlin Wall , Gorbachev's resignation , Yeltsin's ascension to power , and the likes , with just archived images , and subtitles indicating the event and the year . It's cheap , lazy film-making . Before you know it , it's down to the last hour where the characters have grown up , and apart in different countries . There's a general feeling of lost , and if that's the filmmakers ' intent , they have succeeded . Perhaps the best part is the reunion , where I thought is the only time when it's realistic with the feeling of helplessness and being tongue tied when meeting up with a loved one after donkey years - things are never the same again , and could never be the same anymore , and do you wish to hold onto the past , or move on to your own future ? Despite the pretentious plot and characters , the movie does feature an excellent eclectic soundtrack , and there thankfully helped keep everyone awake . Otherwise it's as hokey as the inscription on the tombstone - unless it's a mega tombstone , I don't see how those words could have been inscribed on it without running out of space .
|
515,066 | 317,399 | 896,815 | 1 |
A Nutshell Review : Missing
|
I hate to make such a statement , but until I see something better from him , I think Tsui Hark has lost his Midas Touch . He had given us wonderful movies , some of which are my personal favourites like the Once Upon A TIme in China series starring Jet Li , and the Blade , but in his attempt to register a more prolific comeback after his less than stellar stab at Hollywood , his recent filmography had blown hot and cold , with more misses save for his collaboration in Triangle . Missing unfortunately falls into the Stinker category . No doubt there's a ton of potential as to how the story could develop , given the teases in the trailer , but what was delivered happened to be a convoluted plot which made very little sense and became extremely indecisive , like an octopus putting its tentacles into every conceivable nook and cranny genre ranging from supernatural romance to psychological thriller , that if it had stuck to one primary idea , it might have been fairly enjoyable . Unfortunately , it seemed like Hark wanted to ape after the contemporary Asian horror masters in the Pang Brothers from technique in storytelling , right down to casting one of their regular lead actress Angelica Lee as the role of Dr Gao Jin , a psychologist who hits it off with underwater photographer Dave Chen ( Guo Xiao Dong ) , the brother of her patient Xiao Kai ( Isabella Leong ) . A whirlwind romance ensues and in Dave's bid to propose to his beau underwater near the ruins off Japan's Yonaguni Island ( which you don't get to see at all ) , tragedy strikes , but we don't get to see what actually happened , providing the avenue for mysterious flashbacks and investigations into what was . But there's when most of the 2 hour runtime seem to find itself stuck in , coming up with so many subplots they get dumped unceremoniously when they no longer fit the whim of the moment . You get some outright statements on ecology and the saving of our oceans , then you get some spooky scenes with mysterious figures and spirits trying to garner some cheap scares . Granted these are the moments which were suspense filled and the audience let on to expect further exploration at a later time , only to be disappointed by its lack of focus no thanks to wanting to experiment with some fiery special effects . Just when you think you got the hang of things , Missing throws you totally off tangent with yet another major revelation almost two-thirds of the way , in what I would deem as a cheap cop-out , where further explanation would spoil it for you . Suffice to say that if you like the Pang Brothers ' Diary , then you might buy into Missing . Otherwise , you'll begin to roll your eyes and clock watch , as the story begins to suffer from its now unbelievable and much scattered design , and relied too much on coincidence to move everything forward toward a finale that just seem to not know when to end . And that was its ultimate flaw . It had plenty of moments when to pull the plug to mitigate the suffering of an audience , but no , it dragged on , and on , with each moment building on the ridiculousness of the previous minutes . In all honesty , I understood Tsui Hark's intentions in attempting to bring out a more emotional film about love and lost , especially toward the end when it realized it had burnt the bridges to salvage something horrific . In its lazy presentation in not knowing what to edit and leave out of the story , Missing felt just like one of the props in the movie , a headless body without any clear direction where to go towards . I thought it had hit the nail on the head during one of the many endings , but realized this last ditch attempt was wasted when it still refused to roll the end credits . And no matter how much pedigree Angelica Lee has brought from her reigning Scream - Queen experience , somehow it was just that which turns out to be the albatross around her neck , as she offers nothing new from her range of expressions in movies like The Eye , and Re-cycle , other than look visibly aged . Isabella Leong doesn't fare any better too with her character as she turns vampish in her role when she returns to the incident site to seek out her brother , and Tony Leung Kar Fai and Chang Chen had only supporting roles to bookend the movie . The latter's role was surprisingly the better one as a soft-spoken man with a penchant for predicting the supernatural , but alas is one character that is forgotten soon enough . Final verdict ? Watch Missing at your own peril . It does boast some very few moments of genuine horror , and nicely done special effects , before surrendering everything to slip - shoddy storytelling . The more subplots it dwelled upon , the more loopholes managed to creep into it , making the title a premonition of what the movie is actually all about - missing everything needed to make this a decent movie .
|
515,549 | 317,399 | 780,595 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : Redline
|
You cannot deny that we have an affinity for speed . That's why movies like Fast and the Furious , Dhoom , Rempit get made to play to the satisfaction of audiences , especially local ones . We live on a tiny island , and I cannot fathom why , for the relative efficiency of the public transportation system , most of us want to get into debt by owning a set of wheels which come with 100 % tax when they reach our shores , and the myriad of taxes and bills to pay when operating one . Not only that , the high end sports cars were once quipped by a prominent politician up north that they will never reach fourth gear , lest they reach the sea . And these movies are relatively easy to make . Hot wheels and hot chicks always go down well together in targeting the required demographic . For once , those plunging necklines exposing uncanny buxom and short skirts accentuating legs two meters long , can't compete with the attention given to those beautiful curves that exotic cars possess in movies such as these . Of course there are amongst us ( ahem ) those that go for the sexists portrayal of women as mere sexual objects ( otherwise explain why motor shows come with truckloads of models , and movies such as these cannot do without a leggy model in a frame ) , however , they don't warrant the kind of collective orgasmic sighs whenever the four wheelers come on screen , even when they do exactly nothing and have their gears into Park . The guy sitting beside me , I swear he wet his pants every time his dream car ( s ) appear , and creamed his pants even more when he hears those growling engine moans . So there we have it , the fan boys who turned up in droves just to watch which of the latest cool cars get featured in the movie . With the Fast and the Furious franchise , the Japanese models like the Evos and the Skylines take centerstage , as does the GT . Here , the Ford GT takes on an incredibly drool-worthy facade modification , that even I'm impressed , alongside the latest models like the Ferrari Enzos , Porshe Carerra GTs , Koenigsegg CCXs , and every car out there that has wings for doors . But seriously , my heart goes out to the cars each time they're mercilessly wrecked just for entertainment . I mean , this are perfectly fine , high performance models that are at the apex of motoring , but yet because whoever financed the movie had millions to blow , they do so because they can , There's no story in Redline , just excuses to put together a movie full of beauties ( the cars that is ) that can rip down the tarmac in probably the most boring fashion possible , and with the usual shots of pedals ( always the accelerator , mind you , tapping the brake pedal is tantamount to blasphemy , and earn you no respect ) , steering wheels , gear shifts ( always shifting up and not down ) , all these while having the actors make pretend that they're the baddest asses with an engine , snarling and giving each other dirty looks . Not a very tall order for an actor , and that's why we get the most woeful performances ever , with lines that seem to be written by elementary schoolkids . The heroine ( yes , it made a statement that girls can drive ) Natasha ( a very plasticky looking Nadia Bjorlin ) is one of those million dollar finds - a girl with model looks who don't mind getting down on fours and immersed in oil , who has racing pedigree within her , and performs with a rock band singing songs with lyrics that are just plain laughable ( every line had to do with cars , and when singing about love , just had to string those innuendos like shifting gear shafts , lubricants and going for rides ) . Introduced against her wishes to illegal racing by a gangsta called Infamous ( Eddie Griffin ) , she gets drawn into family squabbles involving a Leo DiCaprio lookalike Iraq war veteran , and some sleazy lecherous looking rich uncle . Everything else , well like I said , just serves as an excuse for the movie to go from race to race . And it's almost always the same , as there's very limited to what you can do to heighten tension between race cars , especially when you know the race is rigged ( for narrative reasons ) and can see the race outcome a mile away from the finishing line . While Fast and Furious had quite charismatic actors , and I will put my head on the chopping block by naming Paul Walker , Sun Kang , and of course , the star it created - Vin Diesel , Redline had none , just pretty faces with lots of air unfortunately . It looks like a TV movie in its treatment from the get go , with a very insipid opening sequence where it's one man , one car , and a 105 minutes race against time to get to Vegas . If not for the cars , then this movie seriously is a piece of junk , with bad acting , bad lines and bad action . Strictly for the car fans , or those who like their movies with countless of bevy beauties who pimp their bodies without any speaking lines .
|
515,442 | 317,399 | 118,688 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : Batman and Robin
|
This was the film that was infamously credited as the one which brought down the franchise started by Tim Burton . What started out as a dark vision became lighter in tone ( filled in lot of painful one-liners ) and brighter ( more neon colours ) in setting . The formula of showcasing the origins of the villains was stale , especially so since the delivery was outright flat . With the rumoured bust ups between Kilmer and Schumacher , it is no surprise that a new actor will occupy Wayne Manor . George Clooney became the new Batman , what with his square jaw and all , but unfortunately , he's no Bruce Wayne nor Batman - his star personality shone through the character , and he made little attempt to distinguish the difference between being the Bat and Bruce , so both sound the same . Also , the lame one liners like " And this is why Superman works alone " didn't cut it , this is the Dark Knight , not your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman ! ( Yeah , I'd blame it on the script ) . Real life joker as he is , get serious George ! His " Hi Freeze , I'm Batman " with a wry smile destroyed the image Michael Keaton started , and which Val Kilmer carried forward with more angst . Arnold Schwarzenegger got worse one-liners ( seemed like the script's only filled with them ) , and his Mr Freeze became comical . Mr Freeze is a sad character , one in which you might pity at times , given his condition and his cause to research and save his wife's life . But the script here mildly scratches the surface of this cool ( pardon the pun ) character . The sacrifice made by Schwarzenegger was a bald head to look like the character , but his muscles and build looked out of place ( Freeze was always drawn as a scrawny man ) . But no matter , the effects of his freeze gun was pretty well done . We were introduced to a rushed origin of Poison Ivy ( it's getting formulaic ! ) , it probably makes little sense of what's happening . Not that Uma Thurman doesn't look the part , though I must confess , at times the costumes look too cheesy with gaudy colours . It's only when we see Uma in the classic leafy blouse and green stockings did Poison Ivy temporarily come alive . Her poisonous kiss was also dealt with without much depth . When you get kissed , you'll go into this psychedelic hypnotic trance , and you'll be under her spell . Here , this gets glossed over . We know both Batman and Robin fall under her spell and started to bicker ( in a scene that I'll label outright as Stupid ) but the trance like sequence was absent , where they will see the world in some plant like environment , with Ivy in various states of undress . Get my point ? Batgirl was so wrongly done , just to get Clueless star Alicia Silverstone on board . Barbara Gordon is Commissioner Gordon's daughter , but given Jim Gordon's lack of substantial characterization in the entire franchise , Barbara becomes Alfred's niece . Totally off , and I wondered who in DC Comics approved of such a blasphemous change . The costume Chris O'Donnell wore , seriously looked like Nightwing . They could have titled this film Batman and Nightwing if Nightwing had a more popular and recognizable following . Heck , even the movie's logo , an amalgam of Batman's and Nightwing's ( yes , not Robin's ) looked cool , and I thought the plot included Dick's wanting for independence and leaving Robin behind to strike out on his own . No disrespect to Chris , but since Batman Forever , the movie's version of Dick Grayson always seemed more like Jason Todd ( the fallen Robin who was murdered by the Joker ) , and this time it seemed a bit worse . However I was quite pleased to see that in the finale , Robin was outfitted in a costume that really looked like Nightwing's , and I actually hoped that if this bad movie did manage box office success , perhaps we might see a Nightwing spin-off . Alas . I don't mind , and could probably understand why , so many actors and characters were thrown into the mix . But the worse inclusion of all has got to be that of Bane . Bane is a relatively new character who was developed by the drug enhancer code-named " Venom " ( You can read more about it in Legends of the Dark Knight 16-20 , and Vengeance of Bane ) . He's also credited as the villain who broke Batman's back in Batman issue 497 . This film totally humiliated Bane by making him a voiceless , useless lackey of Poison Ivy . As for the supporting characters , Alfred was inflicted with a fictional disease , so there goes " reality " , out of the window . Commissioner Gordon , again played by Pat Hingle , wasn't given much screen time or character depth and I had already given up seeing the strong brotherhood between Bats and him that could have been . Elle " The Body " MacPherson starred as Judie Madison , the token love interest of Bruce Wayne , which could have been done away with given the zero chemistry . If I recall , the comic Bruce Wayne in the Bob Kane days was engaged to her ( or was she called at that time , Julie Madison ? ) While the actors probably tried their best , I wonder what ran through their minds when they read the script , because it is one rigged with scenes which leapt right out of Adam West's TV Series . I mean , Bat-credit-card ? And from nippled costumes ( which still stayed ) to butt-shots , what gives ? The Batmobile was mutilated ! It was a one-seater open air dragster that looked simply horrible . The worst of all the Batmobiles we've seen , aesthetically that is . This movie tanked , and rightfully so . It isn't the Batman that can fit into the franchise . It was totally off tangent . Fans around the world hated the Schumacher-treatment , and I'd bet he'll never touch another Bat / DC Comics franchise for many years to come .
|
515,081 | 317,399 | 1,037,146 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : All About Women
|
It must have been crazy to brand this as Asia's answer to the wildly popular Sex in the City , because for all the star power in its female cast , whom besides Zhou Xun , I thought the rest had hung to the coattails of their more popular co-stars such as Stephen Chow and Jay Chou in order to give their cinematic career some needed boost . And what must Tsui Hark be thinking if he reckoned that he could get in touch with his inner feminine self to bring to an audience something about the modern women's psyche on relationships ? There's nothing fun nor sassy in the characters and the storyline here , and at best , it's a forgettable piece of drama that felt like a typical scatterbrain trying to figure everything , but getting down to achieving nothing . The film was schizophrenic on a lot of fronts , having bitten more than it can chew , and then couldn't decide if it preferred to spit or swallow ( pardon the sexual connotations , which the movie is devoid of anyway ) . While some would have written off Tsui Hark as a has-been , I thought I still wanted to give him a chance even after the rather dismal Missing , and while one can applaud his bravery at attempting something fresh , you're likely to find yourself questioning just what has gotten into him , and whether he has totally lost the plot . You can reminisce his glorious filmography past , but I think those days aren't going to come back anytime soon . There's absolutely nothing to like about this movie , and everything felt rather artificial with little heart . The last straw of course came when a scene toward the end was a blatant copy of The Bachelor , except that the roles were reversed . I felt that was a new low with Hark finding the need to parody others , highlighting a serious lack of ideas . Zhou Xun plays Ou Fan Fan , aged 27 ( yes it matters enough to be highlighted in the movie ) , who with her thick glasses , transforms herself from usual glamour puss to ultimate geek with Calamity Jane tendencies . Her inexplicable nervousness when touched by men , makes her all frigid , and Hark decides to make this condition very slapstick ridiculous . Yearning for a man long gone , and with her inability to attract new ones , she goes on a research experiment to design pheromone patches that can chemically induce the right man to be drawn toward her . Think of it as an airborne Love Potion No 9 . Kitty Zhang plays glamour puss Tang Lu , 31 , who oozes so much sexuality , that men cower in her presence , and worship even her fart ( OK , so I made the last point up , but you get the drift ) . Having no friends as she inevitably makes their boyfriends / husbands / fiancés ditch them for her , she's the alpha-feminist and successful career woman who's out to prove that she has more talent than the size of her boobs ( OK , so I made it up again just to spice up an incredibly boring story ) . The perennial case of looks not an issue in the corporate world , though she has some really dogged tenacity in fishing out for profit making deals , such as Fan Fan's patches , setting them on a collision course as she blackmails the latter into a contract . And to round up the trio of female lead characters , Kwai Lun Mei stars as a 19 year old internet novelist cum amateur boxer cum indie band lead vocalist wannabe , who has an imaginary Japanese boyfriend to boot . I suppose this is an unorthodox a character as you can get , and of the three , she probably has the least screen time given the distinct lack of know how on what to do with this character , given her hands in so many pies . The trio share limited scenes together , and for the most parts felt like having three different short films glued together as one . Supporting characters such as the rocker played by Stephen Fung provide that degree of separation between the leading ladies , otherwise they only come together at a hospital scene toward the end , and had a lot more to do at a restaurant and a music festival . Between all the three ladies , only Zhou Xun's character undergo some sort of internal and physical transformation thanks to her experiments in getting her out of her shell , otherwise the other two look more like caricatures , especially Kitty Zhang's , though in a way much better than being a flower vase like in CJ7 . There isn't much to shout out about the movie , and given its run time of close to two hours , there are numerous moments where it actually could have been trimmed to save the audience from the unintended torture of watching how some supposedly female characters lead their contemporary love lives , but with a man , and Tsui Hark at that , at the helm that well , it becomes a misfire with nothing to show .
|
514,932 | 317,399 | 473,064 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : The Sinking of Japan
|
This disaster flick is a remake of a 1973 movie of the same title , based on a novel by Sakyo Komatsu . Japan is located right alongside the Pacific Ring of Fire ( active volcanoes ) and also along the edges of plate tectonics , whose shifting will cause earthquakes and tsunamis ( a Japanese term in itself for tidal wave ) . Naturally , this makes a natural premise for a disaster picture , what with Hollywood having a field day with films like Armageddon , Deep Impact , and more recently , The Day After Tomorrow , which tackles how global warming becomes the catalyst for natural disasters gone bonkers around the world . But I'll have to say this : The Sinking of Japan makes all the films mentioned earlier , look like classics . This disaster movie IS a disaster , and a massive one at that . Having to look at my watch every 10-15 minutes is a signal that the movie doesn't engage , and feels than it had over-clocked its runtime . The special effects are gorgeous to look at . From satellite styled outer space pictures , to the vivid recreation of every conceivable natural disaster that can strike the land of the rising sun , the effects are the star of the show . However , having spectacular computer generated graphics does not in itself make a movie palatable , as too much of a good thing just plain bores . If you had seen the trailer where you're enticed by the effects and specific scenes of chaos and mayhem , then yes , in fact those scenes are just that . There are no details , and everything is seen from afar , in a God-like mode . Things happen just like that on screen , with nary an attempt to try and delve deeper to look at issues up close . It's akin to Godzilla knocking over buildings , and it's as if there are no humans or loss of lives through that single act . Morbid as it might sound , show us the victims ! A populous nation like Japan doesn't just suffer disaster after disaster with an extremely low fatality count , not when the filmmakers unleash mayhem in such an epic scale . Trying to weave a romance into the movie , it stood out like a sore thumb . There are many characters in the movie , but each one of them lacking real characteristics , or humanity , and look like wandering zombies , without expression , without emotion , and definitely very stiff and unconvincing . Heroes become stuck in generic control rooms issuing statements , instructions and form policies , and react to incidents like it was a computer game , all settled with a push of a button . These are characters that you don't give a hoot about . If I may just use The Day After Tomorrow as a comparison , while there are terrific effects , there is at least an attempt to provide a microscopic view of the entire disaster from different individual's point of views . And infused within are plenty of action sequences , big ones like the disasters themselves , and small ones with the focus on the triumph of the human spirit , that makes it relatively compelling . Unfortunately for The Sinking of Japan , this movie should preferably be one to sink and tank , and hopefully undergo a short and quick death at the local box office to make way for better stuff .
|
514,896 | 317,399 | 104,455 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : Painted Skin ( DVD )
|
Painted Skin is the last movie that King Hu made , and while he revisits Pu Songling's material from Liao Zai , which he last did for his masterpiece A Touch of Zen , this movie however seemed a little strange and terribly dated , with uninspiring plots and despite the power cast , the characters all came off to be going through the motions , and not injecting any life at all . I am not sure why or how this project came about , but there were a number of missteps along the way . For example , prior to this 1993 release , Joey Wong had already been type-casted for her many roles as the ethereal ghostly enchantress with her roles in the Chinese Ghost Story franchise by Tsui Hark , up to a point I remember that audiences were sick of her portrayal , and cemented her reputation as a one-act actress . Here , she gets cast again as a spirit of sorts who cannot go to Heaven or Hell , and is practically stuck in limbo . Her You Feng meets with yet another scholar type character ( do I hear the yawns and groans already ) Wang Hsi Tzu , played by Adam Cheng , but instead of the usual dashing swordsman type figure that Cheng is famous for , he takes a turn and portrays a character who's main objective is to find a woman who can bear him an heir , because his wife is found barren . Now how this develops is almost comedic - right from the start after Hsi Tzu's initial encounter with a playful priest , he bumps into You Feng , gets horny , brings her home and wants to hump her immediately . If this is not a King Hu movie , I would have fallen out of my chair laughing at this juvenile turn of events ! Painted skin refers to the makeup that ghosts put on to pretend to be humans , because they're stuck in the middle of two planes . It's always interesting to note that the Chinese believe that when you leave this world , you head straight to hell for judgement and punishment , contrary to Western believes that you get to at least line up at the pearly gates ( and gawk at the saints ) , whether or not you get to enter it after the verdict is passed is a different story altogether . When you're in hell suffering , you will start to long for the time to reincarnate ( whether as a human is also a different story ) , but that's basically the gist . However those stuck in this yin-yang domain , as this story goes , are ruled by an evil spirit called the Yin-Yang King , a faceless creature who later on has someone portraying him to duke it out with the heroes . And the battles here , while choreographed right for excitement , doesn't seem to be sophisticated enough . Bear in mind that this was in the year 1993 , where films like Once Upon a Time in China , and Swordsman II were released . Having what is perceived to be a rehash storyline and setting didn't help either , as audiences probably were tired from the female spirit-male scholar-priests-demon king connection . There's no grandeur fight sequences of epic magnitudes , or memorable scenes such as the chase in a bamboo forest . Here , chases are aplenty , more with the good guys running away from a crazed , powerful demon king , than actually engaging it in meaningful combat . We have multitudes of priest characters here , from the 2 resident bumbling , incompetent ones played by Lau Shun ( who was the evil eunuch in Swordsman ) and Wu Ma , to Sammo Hung as a mysterious High Monk who chooses to hide his identity , and a cameo by the late Lam Ching-Ying ( everyone's favourite Vampire Hunter ) as a Purple Taoist . But despite its almost A-list cast , the story was still all over the place , with flashbacks and truly strange scenes which doesn't add much depth to the story , as if to want to cover a wide breadth versus digging in for depth . If compared to A Touch of Zen ( which seemed to have its ending parodied here in one of the scenes ) , Painted Skin is unfortunately no match on all fronts , and it's actually quite a pity that King Hu should bow out with a lacklustre piece such as this .
|
514,696 | 317,399 | 826,024 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : 9 : 56
|
This is a movie from Toilet Pictures . If the name of the production company is any indication how stinky a movie is , then this would be it . I think I'm not really a fan of horror movies , not that I'm chicken , but rather this year alone , I haven't been genuinely spooked by what's on offer so far , be it from the West , or from Asia . 9 : 56 is no different , great premise , but poor execution , relying on clichéd techniques ( I think these are the only tools of the trade available ? ) to try and elicit some heart thumping moments . Se-jin ( Ko So-young ) is a lonely career woman , who one day notices that some apartments in the block of flats opposite hers , undergo blackouts simultaneously at precisely 9 : 56pm everyday . No , she's no voyeur , but a series of unexplained deaths in the neighbourhood , including one which she encounters herself on a subway , start to draw her deeper and deeper into the mystery surrounding these deaths . With horror movies , there's always a pseudo-logical explanation within the movie about how the spooks come about . That's just about the most interesting thing that happens in the film , the unravelling of the " Truth " , although it won't take seasoned film lovers to guess the plot halfway through . Which of course makes it a very unsatisfying experience watching this movie . There's a myriad of characters like the wheelchair bound girl , and the neighbours who take turns to care for her , as well as a schoolgirl , detective , a mentally challenged boy and a spooky train commuter . But following genre formula , these folks are there usually as fodder for deaths , or in this case , pointless red herring characters whose sole aim by the filmmakers is to mislead the audience , nevermind if they convolute , or add little to forward the plot . And don't get me started on the techniques employed here . Quick cuts , sudden appearances , long hair ghouls ( ahhhhhhh , so passe ! ) who can't move properly , copious amount of blood like it flows down a mountain for free , and the list goes on . But credit to the sound engineers for creating some ear piercing bone crunching sounds used each time the spooks move , though it seems like a one trick pony . Don't waste time on this , even if you're a horror fan . It's a complete waste of a promising premise , and in the end , you feel like you've just be taken on a ride . A very long and painful one to endure . It's high time for some innovation in this genre , otherwise one film will easily look like another , with ugly long haired monsters moving funny but with the ability to make sudden appearances accompanied by loud sounds . Oh , and can someone oil those doors while they're at it as well .
|
515,053 | 317,399 | 1,092,034 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : Fate
|
I've become wary should any Korean movie calls itself , or touts itself , as the largest action movie for the year . Remember the woeful debacle of Typhoon ? Well , it seems that Fate belongs to the same mould , with the assembly of the best looking men the country has to offer , and put them in roles against each other , topped with plenty of angst , misunderstanding and failure from which they find it hard to crawl out from , and you have what hopefully could bring the crowds in . And not to forget too , the poster with the half-naked men laughing while showing off their sculpted abs , which had adorned our train stations for weeks before the movie's debut ( and in which a cigarette had been photo-shopped out to appease local authorities it seems ) . Song Seung Heon plays Woo-Min , a hotheaded man whose charisma and tenacity makes him the de-facto leader in his gang of four . His plan with his brotherhood of merry men , as we see in a thrilling opening , was to break into a casino's vault , and make off with the loot . They succeed of course , thanks to sheer brutality and prowess in fisticuffs and metal pipe wielding , but with betrayal in the form of Kwon Sang Woo's Cheol-Jung , they get caught up , and disbanded . Fast forward to two years later , Cheol-Jung continues as a hoodlum with a higher rank , while Woo-Min gets released from prison , bitter towards the former for his lack of loyalty . While the story might fit into a typical John Woo movie , it lacked any further set action pieces to make you sit up . What you get , in terms of action , are metal pipes upon metal pipes swinging wildly around , and that too being few and far between . Worse , it decided to dwell a lot on the typical melodrama of troubled relationships with each of their loved ones , with Woo-Min being unable to forget his ex , and taking it upon himself to lift his friends from their respective doldrums , and Cheol-Jung having a field day with an uncouth mouth , as he battles it out with his workers on strike on a failed construction project . For the most parts , these two loggerheads steered clear of each other , and the story lacked efforts in wanting to build up on their disgust for the other . It attempted instead for the audience to try and sympathize with their individual predicaments , and that they have circumstances in which they are driven to make their choices , but even so , there's a lack of connection between the two men , and the audience is denied any satisfying climax of a settlement . While the characters in general are all unlikable - going to show that it's what inside that matters - instead it brought to mind of the vultures that circle around , waiting for opportunity to pounce when the chips are all down . For that bit , I'd have to give it some credit . Otherwise it was really painful to just watch the macho men getting around trying to solve their respective wimpy issues , or just using violence as a means to an end , since after all , they're just gangsters with little soul , and you really couldn't care much about how their characters develop , and only wish for the film to quickly get to the finale of its 120 minute run time .
|
515,498 | 317,399 | 494,815 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : Forbidden Siren
|
Forbidden Siren is based upon the Siren 2 Playstation 2 ( so many 2s ) game . Like most video game turned movies , I would say the majority don't translate into a different medium really well . And that goes for this one too , painfully . There's a pretty long prologue which explains and sets the premise for the story , and the mysterious island on which a writer ( Leo Morimoto ) and his children , daughter Yuki ( Yui Ichikawa ) and son Hideo ( Jun Nishiyama ) come to move into . The villagers don't look all too friendly , and soon enough , sound advice is given about the siren on the island , to stay indoors once the siren starts wailing . Naturally and slowly , things start to go bump , and our siblings go on a mission beating around the bush to discover exactly what is happening on this unfriendly island with its strange inhabitants . But in truth , you will not bother with what's going on , as folklore and fairy tales get thrown in to convolute the plot even more . What was really pushing it into the realm of bad comedy are its unwittingly ill-placed-out-of-the-norm moments which just drew pitiful giggles at its sheer stupidity , until it's explained much later . It's one thing trying to come up and present something smart , but another thing doing it convincingly and with loopholes covered . Despite it clocking in under 90 minutes - I think it's a horror movie phenomenon to have that as a runtime benchmark - it gives that almost two hour feel with its slow buildup to tell what it wants to . Things begin to pick up toward the last 20 minutes , but it's a classic case of too little too late . What saves the movie is how it changes tack and its revelation at the end . Again this is a common device used to try and elevate a seemingly simple horror movie into something a little bit extra in the hope of wowing an audience . It turned out rather satisfactorily , but leaves a bad aftertaste as you'll feel cheated somewhat . There are two ways a twist will make you feel - it either elevates the movie to a memorable level , or provides you with that hokey feeling . Unfortunately Forbidden Siren belonged more to the latter . The saving grace will be its cinematography with its use of light , shadows and mirrors , but I will be that explicit - it's still not worth the time , so better to avoid this .
|
515,495 | 317,399 | 270,841 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : Avatar
|
It was once remarked by B-movie producer Roger Corman , that Singapore would make a great place for a science fiction movie ( Corman had co-produced Saint Jack , the only Hollywood movie to date filmed entirely here ) . And it's true , as we do have a number of locales that look futuristic enough for on location shoots , and more so if given the special effects treatment to spruce things up . The opening shot of the city skyline is something familiar , yet on the other hand , something rather artificial about it - It's not Singapore , it's a fictional city state called Sintawan . Avatar probably and unwittingly set itself a high benchmark to meet right from the start , by having that text crawl ( cliche ) explaining the setting of the world upon which the story is based , talking about Simplants and the police - pitting itself against cult classic Blade Runner . Director Kuo Jian Hong ( daughter of the late Kuo Pao Kun , this movie is dedicated in his memory ) might have high hopes of Avatar emulating and meeting those standards , or to achieve an indie following , however the fundamentals of having a proper storyline was already flubbed . It tried too hard to be intelligent , rather than sticking to the " keep it simple stupid " rule , especially if one is thinking of cramping plenty of tech-no-babble into less than two hours . Unlike The Matrix which seamlessly gelled simplified philosophy into its narrative , and more so as an afterthought rather than assaulting your senses while the story is being told . Speaking of The Matrix , there were also some reference to the giant network storage of persons ' identities , a Cyberlink ( probably an advanced form of the Net ) , as well as a subplot involving the police up against a group of rebels , amongst others . Avatar suffered from trying to explain too much in too little time , and will make you switch off when listening to " important " mumbo jumbo you don't ' care about , regarding some teleportation technology and identity doppelganging using biological science early in the movie , before shifting gears into presenting some huge conspiracy theory about playing God in the Game ( oooh ) . Briefly , we follow the exploits of the best ( Singapore , oops , Sintawan everything also must # 1 ) bounty hunter in the business of Simplant capture - Dash MacKenzie ( Genevieve O'Reilly ) , an ang moh , as locals don't have street cred to be leads in the movie . Actually , most of the local actors , prominent ones I must add , were relegated to playing supporting or cameo roles in this production , folks like Lim Kay Siu , Neo Swee Lin , Kumar , Gerald Chew , Richard Low and Kevin Murphy ( from S11 , didn't know he was that active in previous local productions , the other one being City Sharks , but bit role as well ) , The other main lead was an Asian actor Wang Luoyong ( huh ? ) who played cop Victor Huang , in pursuit of Dash , and under circumstances beneficial to both , begin an uneasy partnership which blossomed into some hokey romance . I think by now any self respecting ( I say this in jest ) local movie would somehow have a scene set in coffee-shops / hawker centers to get that seal of authenticity that it's made in Singapore . Diners should have no qualms that in Avatar's future , our favorite makan style of choice is still around , with shady covert dealings taking place right underneath hungry bellies . Other locations easily identified included the Expo MRT station ( no more EZ-Link cards , your palm is scanned instead ) , inside MRT trains , Bugis Junction , the area around Empress Place , Little Guilin at Bukit Gombak and even Hotel 81 ( yes ! ) which seemed to retain its perceived sleazy purpose in the movie . The acting's all very stiff , probably from the cast's lack of belief in what they're actually doing , and the unbelievable lines they have to say . For a production of the time , it's probably still stuck in a mindset that it is better to engage B / C-graded caliber ang-moh actors than to choose jolly good ones from our local scene . Not that I'm against foreign talent , but in my opinion it's quite a pain to see them going through the motions here , spewing lines of dialog which are and sound so artificial , made worse by their accents . Avatar looked like a million dollars , alas it felt like a cheap telemovie . The effects were decent though , but for scenes with extended CG or CG created backgrounds , it ended up a bit raw and looked unpolished . The costumes looked lush , especially Joan Chen's figure hugging and cleavage enhancing outfits . Some shots were done creatively , obviously so to cover up the lack of a bigger budget to get more gizmos mentioned , implied or are actually used in the film , like vehicles - you never actually see them zoom around the city . So is Avatar worth watching ? Yes , for that lesson on how not to make a science fiction film . One wonders if The Gene Generation will work out successfully , which also casted another Hollywood B-movie specialist Bai Ling in a lead role .
|
515,012 | 317,399 | 432,291 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : The Fog
|
Hollywood has not gotten over its John Carpenter remakes , and The Fog is the latest in a series . From the trailers , we were teased that " there is something in the fog " , but we do not know what . And no , despite being nice to look at and all , the Fog is not at all suffocating . Antonio Island is celebrating its founding fathers , and we're introduced to the descendants of the Malones , the Waynes , the Castels and the Williams . Tom Welling ( Clark Kent in the Smallville television series ) stars as Nick Castle , the hero of the story who runs a washout boat business . Maggie Grace stars as Elizabeth Williams , Nick's girlfriend who has returned to the island and somehow feels responsible for the events that transpired when the fog descents . Selma Blair stars as Stevie Wayne , a single parent running the only radio channel up atop the only lighthouse on the island . Pretty standard fare , one-dimensional characters . What will probably keep you engaged in the movie , is the quest to discover the truth and back story to the entire fog shenanigans . A mysterious menacing looking fog arrives , contrary to physics and wind directions , and strange killings and happenings occur on the island . Age old objects like a hairbrush and timepiece turn up at the beach , and itchy-handed folks pick it up despite us folks knowing bad things will happen . But it bores you after a while , with its usual sins of the fathers theme having little depth ( ok , so it's a horror flick after all ) . It's simple , but with potential , which degenerates into almost a Pirates of the Caribbean copycat in the special effects department . And the special effects and makeup could perhaps be the only saving grace in this movie . There are loopholes in the storyline , especially the ending . You understand what the filmmakers are trying to suggest , but it just doesn't make much sense anyway . Is it frightening ? No . It's a tame pussycat in its scares , relying on cheap , loud , clanging and knocking of metal three times to signal the demise of the characters who hear them , knowing that Evil is around and knocking at your door . Any more , you'll probably go deaf with the theatre's surround sound system . If there's a movie like The Fog which can be made , perhaps someone would be bold enough to make The Mist , or The Haze in local context . Don't waste your time , you'll need strong fog-lamps to attempt to look at the good in this picture . Being a Tom Welling groupie fan , will probably help .
|
514,629 | 317,399 | 454,457 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : Frostbiten
|
To think I was once avoiding horror movies because I thought I was chicken . Hell , I now believe the real reason's cause there are so many bad horror movies out there , that it's just not worth the time and money to watch them on the big screen . This Swedish movie unfortunately , is one of them . Frostbiten started off promisingly , with a link back to the horrors of WWII , where soldiers were being cut down in size by the enemies . They stumble onto an unused hut , but before they can get a good night's rest , they realize that there is something mysterious about the entire place , and got attacked by strange creatures . It's quite an extended scene before the opening title , but we get fast forwarded to today . Mother and daughter Annika ( Petra Nielsen ) and Saga ( Grete Havnesköld ) come to a new town to start life anew , but before they get settled down , it's a mixed bag of incidents which see Annika uncovering a deep dark secret in the hospital she works in , and Saga's teenage friends getting high on an experimental drug without their knowledge , and get turned into vampires . So begins a battle on both fronts as they fend off vampire rejects from Underworld . The story is nothing to shout about , being very weakly made up of lame excuses just to feature the vampires in various fang-sinking-into-necks opportunities . Plenty of things went wrong , right up until its ending , which tried to be too intelligent for its own good with a suggestive open ended ending , and it doesn't make much sense . At times , the movie's littered with humour , but in cheesy ways as it wasn't able to decide whether to be funny , or dead serious with the antics . It's nothing scary , but there were copious amounts of blood used to up the gore factor . Come to think of it , certain production aspects turned out quite childish with its lack of attention to continuity issues , although there were some sparks of brilliance in its special effects department . Other than that , if you really want to experiment with a foreign language horror movie , just wait for the discs to arrive .
|
514,651 | 317,399 | 1,045,655 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : The Haunting of Molly Hartley
|
I guess all teenage starlets have to go through their cinematic rites of passage by having some horror flick under their belt . So far I've seen every film on the big screen that Haley Bannett had starred in , from her breakthrough role as the uber-sexy Cora " Buddha's Delight " Corman in Music and Lyrics , to Kendall of College , and now , the titular character in this horror film . Save for her debut , everything else had been of dubious quality , and I'm afraid without another hit soon , she'll more than be forgotten and should concentrate on her singing career instead . The film begins in some spooky woods in the 70s where a girl , on the cusp of her 18th birthday , begins to hear voices swirling around , and eventually got deliberately killed by her father . We don't know why , because we're suddenly transported to today , and to the bedroom of Molly Hartley , who is starting life afresh with her father ( Jake Weber ) in a new town . The focus is then shifted to high school pangs , of having to deal with new rivals , new potential love interest Joseph ( Chace Crawford ) , and new friends such as the rebel Leah ( Shannon Marie Woodward ) and Bible-thumper Alexis ( Shanna Collins ) . And because of a near fatal accident involving her mother , Molly's got regular shrink schedules with the school resident councillor Dr . Emerson ( Nina Siemaszko ) , where doubts are planted in the audience mind that Molly's not who she really seemed , having strange habits of going to the toilet to hyperventilate , or hearing voices of unknown folks again swirling around her , or experience hallucinations which provide for plenty of cheap scare tactics . Scenes like these were repeated ad-nauseam . But they are nothing frightening , because the movie has an entire look and feel of High School Musical , save the characters don't break out into song and dance . A little bit of positivity about the film is that there was an air of mystery about it , having this cool scream queen who doesn't know what her destiny is , always possessing this edgy feel to her character that there's more than meets they eye , holding you in some suspense . Coupled with the strange and slow revelation on what happened between Molly and her mom , it leaves you guessing for the most part . Until it decided to play it fast , and here's where the loopholes all start to appear really dumb in this hurried mode to finish the story off . You laugh as it went from scene to scene and not made much sense , and the worst part of it all was how it leapt into some bubblegum pop type of film , betraying all instances of sane thriller development into something that could have been the Wow factor when revealed , instead of the Duh factor . In doing what it did , it showed the filmmakers had lack of flair and skill , making some very strange decisions to have the story take on this flaccid psycho-babble route , and lacking any compelling characters to feel for . Heck , there's not even a decent body count too . The Haunting of Molly Hartley had an idea , but alas the translation of this idea into a feature film , with eye candy looking cast and all , failed miserably . Save your money , and fans of Haley Bennett would be better off watching her ( non ) performance on rented DVD instead .
|
515,575 | 317,399 | 855,824 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : I Don't Want to Sleep Alone
|
I don't want to sleep alone - if you have incredible patience , then you probably won't have to . Otherwise , within 10 minutes , you'll fall into deep sleep , as did somebody in the same screening I went to . I have put off writing the review to see if my opinion would change , and I dare say it has mellowed down . I would have loved to condemn this Tsai Ming-Liang movie , but just like any other movie , its bound to have its lovers and detractors . I for one , disliked the film , but acknowledge its technical merits . Simply put , the movie tells 2 stories , one involving a man ( played by Tsai's muse Lee Kang - Sheng ) being attacked by gangsters , and taken in and cared for by a construction worker ( Norman Atun ) , while the other story involves a comatose man ( also starring Lee ) being nursed by Chyi ( Chen Shiang-Chyi ) , a coffeeshop waitress working for Pearlly Chua's sexually repressed coffeeshop owner . In classic Tsai style , these stories are told in long , static shots , little or no dialogue , and through songs . The usual themes of alienation , repression , loneliness etc ( fill in the blanks , you know the themes already ) is commonplace in the movie , so much so that they become turn offs . At times you wonder if it's a comedy of absurdity , and if the movie is a waste of film and resources . You also scratch your head wondering if those who have praised the movie sky high are out of their minds , or if they're following the bandwagon and praising the emperor's new clothes . However , I did enjoy the first few minutes of the movie when Lee's wandering man walked around the seedier streets of KL . In fact , there isn't really much clues that it's KL , it can be Geylang for all you care . And possibly every dark corner and roadside become commonplace as the narrative moves along . If anything , Tsai is an inspiration , for his minimalist art form that makes as if almost anyone could pick up a camera , gather some actors ( or friends with zero facial expression - you can mask them , or film from across the road so there are no close up shots to betray their lack of ability ) around , and make something out of nothing . Just as how crazy men are called eccentric rather than mad if they have power and money , you'll just have to convince that you're an auteur with an amazing eye for details , instead of being called a crap filmmaker if you try and emulate his style . To some it's pretentious , to others it's a contemporary classic in the works . The only way to best judge if you would like the movie , is to watch it yourself . Just be warned that you'll either be enamoured by it , or come out swearing every vulgarity you've ever known . I sure heard many colourful words when the mattress started to float . If compared to his previous work The Wayward Cloud , I'd find that a masterpiece . But then again , I've always liked my movies with song , dance , things that move , not just a reluctant handjob . Will I watch future Tsai's works ? Sure , if only as a test of true patience , for film school lessons and references , and to share in the perverse joy of listening out for newbies to Tsai movies as they exercise their freedom of colourful speech . They are a vocal bunch after all . Recommended only for hard core Tsai fans , and no one else .
|
514,378 | 317,399 | 461,703 | 2 |
A Nutshell Review : Skinwalkers
|
The poster may look menacing , but Skinwalkers is actually a tame pussycat . In the hands of ordinary filmmakers , this is what you get - mediocre , " have we seen this before " moments , and plenty of unintentional comedy , for a werewolf genre that tried to reinvent itself , and exhausted its game plan . To give itself a mystical feel , it developed its own uninteresting mythos about some prophecy ( not again ! ) that will come true after the appearance of the red moon . Zoom past the intertitles , and hey , the red moon ! From then on , it's Terminator-hasta-la - vista baby ! The prophecy seemed to dwell on the fate of a 12 year old boy , who is said to have some rocking puberty mumbo-jumbo happening to him ( no , it's not the sudden growth of extra hair in certain parts ) . So his mother , Rachel ( Rhona Mitra ) becomes an unwitting , uninspiring Sarah Conner clone , while relying on a bunch of rag tag team mates led by Jonas ( Elias Koteas ) , to keep them alive . Jonas and gang however , have a deep dark secret . They're werewolves , but good ones , who get strapped up before dusk so that they can be artificially restrain their blood lust . On the other hand , the bad mofos ( who are also werewolves ) are led by Lorenzo Lamas . Wait a minute , that couldn't be him ! He's still looking . . . so young ! No , it's Jason Behr , who I swear in his unshaven face , and wavy shoulder length hair , shades and bad attitude , seemed to have crawled out of a typical Lamas made-for-video movie . As with the many Lamas movies , it's almost guaranteed to have bad cheapskate action . It screams B-Flick with sirens blaring and strobe lights flashing , and frankly , Skinwalkers is nothing except that . Like I mentioned , it's Terminator all over again . Bad guys want to annihilate the kid so that they can prevent the prophecy from coming true ( whatever that is , which they have no clue whatsoever ) . In between , they kill and have edited sex , which is bad , in both sense . The good guys just want to stand in the way ( hey , we don't feed on blood , so we're cool ) and they too have no idea just in case the kid turns into some hybrid - OK , wrong movie - while we see the toughening up of Sarah Con , I mean Mitra's Rachel , that it all reeked of plagiarism . If anything can justify labelling a werewolf movie as cheap , then it is the distinct lack of on - screen transformation . The wolves just appear , in full hairy costume , bad teeth and probably stinky breath and all , without any attempts to allow a glimpse at the transformation . Not only that , the local distributors , in attempts to make money hence requesting this to be passed with a lower rating , removed all sex scenes . No wonder we see macabre , gruesome high profile killings , and low birth rates . We can't even watch sexy on screen . Bring the sexy back ! Anyway I digress . Skinwalkers was pretty bad from the get go . Hokey prophecies , cheap makeup , and horrors , guns are used with glee from all quarters , and the gunplay's probably the laziest I've seen in a long time . Laughable effort , especially when you realize the cop out made just for the bigger names in this picture . Only suitable for that DVD rental on a lazy weekend afternoon at best .
|
515,227 | 317,399 | 457,275 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Altered
|
I'd have to admit that the draw of this movie is director Eduardo Sanchez , who helmed the wildly popular and successful Blair Witch Project . Besides , this is an alien movie of sorts , and sounded something like Stephen King's Dreamcatchers , one of those movies that the critics hated , but I enjoyed . But nope , unfortunately I felt that for the most parts , Altered is a waste of time , so I shall keep this review short . Premises are always promising , and Altered's no different . It tells the story of a group of men who experienced strange encounters when they were younger , and as usual , others will take you as a nutcase imagining stuff . Stories about alien abduction always have to deal with probes into the orifices , so I shall not go into details , but you get the drift it's damn uncomfortable , and something you'd like to forget . What if you're given a chance for revenge ? That is , you manage to successfully hunt down , and capture one alive . What will you do ? For this group , it's a gleeful payback time , or so they thought . And this is where the movie begins to develop into a snoozefest , with bad , uninspiring dialogue , and even worse acting . Even if it's low budgeted , there aren't many redeeming factors , be it strength of storyline , or any help from the cast in making their characters just a tad interesting . It's the standard cardboard fare from a vanilla plain script , coupled with some cheap scare tactics employed . What's good though is the makeup . Much effort has been put into making some of the stuff which I shan't mention , because that'll spoil just the few elements of what makes this movie tolerable . Other than that , there are the usual cheap special effects , blood and gory moments which is nothing you've never seen before . Watch this only as a last resort . Compared to the other monster movie in town - Feast , this one is less fun , and takes itself too seriously . Bogged down by an uninspiring direction , you've been warned .
|
515,556 | 317,399 | 955,411 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : The Ten Commandments
|
I suppose Biblical stories will never run out of fashion , though I find it a bit strange that amongst the numerous potential stories for retelling , the story of Moses got chosen again , and for an animated movie no less , although this one's done in 3D . Remember Prince of Egypt ? Dreamworks Animation pretty much nailed it , especially when you have a relatively successful hit song as a byproduct ( played ad nauseam until it became an irritant ) . Comparisons are inevitable given the content and the form , and unfortunately , this movie with input from IVL Animation ( Singapore ) didn't surpass the benchmark set by Prince of Egypt , but it's a slight improvement to the local 3D animated movies that have been released to date ( that of Zodiac : The Race Begins and Tales of the Sea ) . The Ten Commandments that this version offered is a super summary of events that are in the Bible , starting from an infant Moses in a basket surviving a water borne trip , and bypassing his growing up years creatively through the opening credits . If using Cecil B . DeMille's 1956 movie starring Charlton Heston as the baseline , then it managed to shear off more than 50 % of that content , and added just a little bit more toward the last act , which seemed to drag it just a tad longer , including events that you may or may not already be familiar with , but definitely not in the DeMille film , nor in Prince of Egypt . As an animated movie , and a 3D one at that , it still has not reached the level of quality that one is accustomed to from , say Pixar , which in my opinion deem worthy to be used to measure up against . The animation here is still blocky at certain bits , especially in character design and rendering . But credit has to be given for how key scenes were depicted , and I thought the Burning Bush was particularly well done . Other than that , the Parting of the Red Sea was another key moment , but unfortunately didn't offer any spectacular Wow moment that the earlier Ten Commandment movies provided . It pales compared to the 2D style in Prince of Egypt , though it included a nod towards it of sorts by having those whales ( ? ) swimming around and seen through the water curtain . The movie managed to snag a more international cast for its voicing of characters , and I thought having Christian Slater ( Moses ) , Alfred Molina ( Ramses ) and Elliot Gould as the Voice of God , was a marked leap forward in helping the movie gain more attention , compared to the use of local actors ( no disrespect of course ) who may not have as much international clout to make the film appealing to audiences outside our borders . This movie will most likely appeal to Sunday School groups , given that it's relatively free of scary images , but yet managing to tell the story of various plagues descending onto Egypt .
|
515,001 | 317,399 | 427,469 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Dragon Eye Congee : A Dream of Love
|
This film actually had a one-off screening at GV cinemas last year . I was raring to go watch it , until I found out that it was sold out real fast because fans of Fann Wong were flocking in droves to see their idol in action on the big screen . Nonetheless I had to settle for the DVD , courtesy of movieXclusive . com . Perhaps the only good thing about this movie , is how the dragon eye congee looked so appetizing . I felt hunger pangs as I watched Fann Wong serve bowl after bowl for her screen beloved , and observing with those longing eyes as he slurps it all down . Dragon Eye Congee : A Dream of Love , looks and feels like a telemovie . And being a predominantly Taiwanese production , expect the usual television melodrama and weepie moments coming on to try and manipulate your emotions . Sadly ( no pun intended ) , the movie while beautiful to look at and filled with wonderful cinematic shots , lacked the very soul that it wants to preach about - love . There's nothing too deep in exploring that emotion , and what transpires is a romance that's too good to be true , and exists only in children's fairy tales . Written by Yang Bo , I felt that the short story on which the movie is based upon , would have been more interesting than its cinematic vision , directed by Allen Chang . In fact , you could totally forgo the first hour of the movie , as it has little to do with the remaining 30 minutes , except to take a very long time to set the stage . The casts , probably hampered by the weak script , never really had a chance to lift the movie from the doldrums , although their acting were passable at best . The leads Fann Wong and Shaun Tam rarely looked believable as the inseparable Romeo and Juliet , totally lacking in chemistry to convince that they are a match made in heaven . There is perhaps just too many characters for a simple story like this , which can't decide if it wanted to be flashback based , introducing new supporting characters who are in the movie for just that few minutes of screen time , and never important enough to further the plot . While the idea of a role is hinted at , most of the time it's just a simple gloss over and never going deep enough to make them memorable . However , the music used here , if you dig the Chinese orchestra , might serve as a plus point to you . Though I can't fault the lovely melody , it being used repeatedly does get on your nerves , as too much of a good thing just reduced the utility gained from it . If you would like to give this movie a try , then go ahead and tell me what you think . For fans of Fann , her performance here is nothing spectacular , but you might want to check it out if you're being a completist . Code 3 DVD comes with no extras , besides the usual English and Chinese subtitle selection . Audio and visual transfer seems ordinary , and nothing to shout about .
|
514,986 | 317,399 | 1,260,932 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : 252 Signal of Life
|
While a movie like this would likely contain a tragedy of epic proportions and a celebration of the human spirit , one can't help but to laugh at its missteps , overwrougt melodrama , and sheer ridiculousness of an ending that probably insults the professionalism of the uniformed group it wanted to put in good light . It becomes an unintentional comedy of errors that just makes you shake your head knowingly that it could have been something more interesting to begin with . 252 : Signal of Life is just that , a code that rescue forces ( or at least in Japan ) use to inform everyone of survivors , galvanizing resources and to propel some lung bursting morale and adrenaline to rescuers who are risking life and limb for strangers that they do not know . But first they have to get their original mission statement through to the top brass whose concern is for the safety of the men under them , and risk taking becomes a tedious exercise , frustrating to the men all eager to perform a job well . I thought this tussle against the backdrop of an ongoing disaster would serve as an interesting fuel for thought , especially meaningful when it tries to examine how these folks put others above self , and family beneath others at times , and had an extreme opportunity to debate over self-preservation , and to wonder the immense courage that it takes for one to do just that . Instead , we get melodrama , plenty of tears and frustrations lashed out amongst colleagues , friends and strangers , that it becomes too tiring , and most of the time for nothing . For actor Hideaki Ito , one who has cut his teeth in disaster-rescue flicks like Umizaru and its sequel , his role here as ex-rescuer Yuji Shinohara might seem like a walk in the park . If not for his brooding of a sin of the past , and his good looks , he's an extremely cardboard character , which is what most of the other characters in the film are made of . Only Ayane Omori who stars as his deaf-mute daughter Shiori stole the show at every scene she's in , though the good work was destroyed by the story which decided to exploit that character for some Kleenex moment . I can go on about other characters in the film that continue to be unappealing such as Sachiko Sakurai's very teary turn as Mrs Shinohara , but the one which takes the cake , and probably chief villain for her incompetence , is Yu Kashii's Saki Umino the weather girl who has really poor forecasting skills . The filmmakers here lacked the courage to have people bumped off . Not the anonymous extras that are in the background ( those die en masse ) , but each deadly scenario the leads got put through , they lacked the confidence to shut the door on the characters , making it again highly repetitive in crafting how one survives death defying moments due to sheer luck , but only after some moments of unnecessary tension that the same trick just becomes overused by the time the third scenario rolls around . What's more of a sin was how the finale was one really draggy affair , allowing opportunities for more chest-thumping , affirmative actions like nodding , saluting , shouting , crying , and just milking all that's worth from an 18 minute window when the eye of the storm passes by . Speaking of which , the special effects turned out to be less than spectacular . It showed off some eye-popping moments of gigantic tidal waves enveloping the streets of Tokyo , but it dried off really fast through some awesome drainage that the city has in its streets and underground network . Visually , it was more interesting to see how all the extras in each scene just run about the set in the background trying to look busy and act with a sense of urgency , while the cast in the foreground are feeling anything but that . As I mentioned earlier the finale was overwrought with cheesy melodrama that unnecessary dragged out the ending , but the moment which took the cake was how hundreds of rescuers would just gather round and do nothing but the care-bear-stare . Powerful stuff that . 252 : Signal of Life had moments where it could have struck a fine balance in presenting an action-packed flick if it could have tightened up some of the incessant repetition ( like how long it took for massive floodwaters to fill up a subway station , and there are only so many ways for extras to find themselves facing with a gush of water ) , and to have given itself enough time to explore the human dilemma of self-preservation versus the call of duty . Instead it became an unnecessary comedy filled with cardboard yet invincible characters .
|
514,371 | 317,399 | 985,079 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Anna & Anna
|
Earlier this year , there was a casting call for extras to be in Anna & Anna , with the presence of lead actress Karena Lam , and looking at the film , it would have involved being night club revelers in a darkened pub watching local band Ronin perform . This Singapore-Shanghai co - production , written and directed by Aubrey Lam , is surprisingly full of art-house sensibilities , but with all the wrong reasons in doing so , making this less than 90 minute film feel like a plodding dinosaur , hinging on the acting prowess of Karena Lam and Lu Yi ( Jasmine Women , Seven Swords ) . Karena plays Anna & Anna , and may I add , & Anna once more . Anna One is an executive with an extreme love for blue eye shadows . A Singaporean sent by her manager ( played by TV actor Huang Shi Nan ) to Shanghai for work , she finds this an opportunity to rid herself of her wimpy boyfriend , Billy ( Tender , whose name befits the character ) , a band member whose long hair betrays his effeminate nature . Here's an alpha-female in a power suit , but inside , she's still nursing a longing for her old flame Ouyang ( Lu Yi ) . Anna Two happens to be an artist , with a chic short pageboy hairdo ( ok , this is to differentiate between the Annas ) , and surprisingly , is hooked up with Lu Yi's Ouyang . Questions are abound as to timeline , and whether they are the one and the same , or different people who just happen to share the same pretty face . Anna Two's no alpha-female though , and seems to be one who's emotionally tormented by Ouyang , and so begins , the incessant questions of identity that begged to be answered . The narrative started off promisingly with such possibilities of exploring into doppelgangers , identities , and especially on love , whether we will tend to gravitate towards people of similar characteristics , or in more shallow terms , physical looks ( hey , remember the Vaughn-Aniston vehicle The Break Up , and the ending for that ? ) . It set up interesting standoffs such as who's the original , and who's the substitute for the heart , which will probably make for some unconventional romantic story drawing from life experiences . But alas , the movie lost its plot halfway in becoming too schizophrenic for its own good , especially when Karena's Anna One decided to chop her locks off , and the film had to rely on technicalities to cue the audience . What it degenerated to was failure to capitalize on its prince and pauper moments , and became was a woeful reflection of self-pity by all characters , and this without unnecessary meandering through timelines . Which was actually guilty in trying to introduce and sustain the backstory , and hence my interpretation of the hypothetical Anna Three , which I felt was there just to extrapolate the running time to qualify this as a feature film . Shave away the unnecessary extras and half - baked ideas , and this would have been watchable at the very least . However the actual end result we get is a soulless film with soulless characters that we don't give a hoot about .
|
515,173 | 317,399 | 845,442 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Cinderella
|
No , this is nothing about that fairy tale with the pumpkin coach , fairy godmother and the glass slippers , but if I were to elaborate , I would have to spoil it for you , which I won't . But don't let curiosity get the better of you , as this movie is not fantastic . It's one of those movies that start off promisingly , before betraying its audience with cheap scare tactics and an incoherent storyline . And that's real horror . Yoon-hee ( To Ji-Won ) and Hyun-soo ( Shin Se-kyeong ) are your ideal mother and daughter . One's a successful plastic surgeon , while the other your dutiful , obedient , and beautiful teenage daughter . Their relationship is like hand in glove , so close you'd think of them more as siblings rather than parent-child . But things start to go wrong ( don't they always ) when Hyun-soo's friends , whom Yoon-hee has operated on , start to go berserk . Perhaps it's a warning to audiences , and for those Koreans ladies who don't bat an eyelid when going under the knife , if news reports are to be believed . The only truly scary moments are those scenes in plastic surgery , though somehow , I thought Kim Ki-duk's Time actually had more gore when featuring and describing what goes on during the surgery itself . It's a tale of two halves , the fist being an attempt to shock audiences with standard scare tactics , which , I admit , did get to me now and then . However , the second half degenerated the movie into mindless mumbo-jumbo melodramatics , and was quite contrived into its forcing its ideas down your throat . Some things begin not to make sense , and while attempts are always presented to explain , you probably won't buy it , not that horror movies are logical to begin with . The leads are all beautiful , and there is a distinct lack of male presence besides the negligible cop role . But hey , I'm not complaining , though the storyline could have been improved tremendously . I'd recommend you to watch this , only if you're a fan of mediocre Korean horror , on VCD . Watch out for those face off-ish moments !
|
515,123 | 317,399 | 409,011 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Lovewrecked
|
My friend CK asked me to go along for this movie , as he's a huge Amanda Bynes fan , having followed her television series What I Like About You , and both of us agreed upon her comic potential in She's The Man , which was a pretty fun gender bender movie . With a title like that , there's nothing too cerebral about Lovewrecked . No , it's not a doomed spoof of the Love Boat , but the teenage romance here is quite as cheesy and predictable . Bynes stars as Jenny Riley , and we're quickly introduced to her character's idol worshipping of screen pop singing sensation Jason Masters ( Chris Carmack ) , going totally bonkers during his concert , much to the detriment of best buddy Ryan ( Jonathan Bennett ) . During their summer job at a Caribbean resort , she finds herself caught in a man-overboard situation with Jason , and the two of them thus began a Robinson Crusoe life - until of course Jenny discovers that they aren't really shipwrecked on some remote island at all , and keeps this as a secret from Jason . When her love rival participates in her little charade , it becomes like the reality TV series Survivor , where each have to outplay , outwit and outlast the other in order to get the affections of the lone pop star . Directed by Randal Kleiser of Grease and The Blue Lagoon fame , this movie too had Bynes strut around mostly in bikinis , the apparel of choice for any girl working at a resort / stuck in a desert island . Bynes still haven't lost her comic timing , however here she's let down by an extremely weak story , and an even more disappointing lack of laughs from the stilted comedy . There are comedic situations which either make you laugh , or make you laugh from how bad it is . Sadly Lovewrecked had more of the latter , and for one scene , had to rely on the toilet humour favourite of the fart sequence . As for the other characters , they're basically all one dimensional . The catty love rival , the handsome scheming nice - on - outside - unethical - on - inside pop star , the pining buddy , the mean resort manager , the horny colleague , the arrogant star assistants and minders , the list goes on . The Riley parents were such throwaway characters that you wonder if their inclusion was for the sake of extending the run time , which clocks in at a short 86 minutes . So unless you're a true blue Bynes fan , or have that penchant for teenage romance movies , do steer clear or you'll find yourself getting pretty bored at predictability .
|
515,055 | 317,399 | 765,476 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Meet Dave
|
One wonders if Eddie Murphy has lost it . I still remember his early days in action comedy back in Beverly Hills Cop , flashing his pearlies and making wisecracks , being the rather unorthodox cop that he probably would be toying with continuing the franchise to revive flagging fortunes , just like how Stallone went about adding to his Rocky and Rambo mythos . We all know the comedic streak in Eddie , and he does a fine job in voicing animated characters . But while he seemed to have exhausted playing multiple characters in The Nutty Professor and Norbit , he now has to play himself in , well , himself . As a spaceship that is . In true Star Trek design and style , Eddie Murphy plays the Captain of a group of tiny humanoid aliens , who have built a spacecraft in the likeness of the Captain , and sent on a mission to extract all of Earth's salt to save their own back home , through an orb like object which is currently in the hands of a human child ( Austyn Myers ) he coincidentally befriends when his mom ( Elizabeth Banks ) hits him in vehicle accident . So begins an adventure on Earth where the unfeeling alien beings slowly find themselves affected by all that is life , from music to emotions like love and friendship . Director Brian Robbins , who helmed Murphy's previous movie Norbit , somehow didn't deliver this movie to its potential given its scattered focus , unable to decide to go all out in becoming a comedy , or a drama with its clichéd believe in yourself values and message . While Norbit was deliciously wicked in its political incorrectness and went totally riot with it , Meet Dave seemed to have tote the line of being boring without even trying . It didn't have any inkling of attempting to elicit genuine laughter , and all its potential had already been shown their hand in the trailer . Yes , the best bits were there , and left nothing new to the audience when sitting through the rest of the 90 minute movie . Granted that there were some pretty nifty special effects in the film , those doesn't save Meet Dave from itself . It has an interesting premise , and had enough poking fun at conventional pop culture and icons such as Apple , but these come too few and far between , and seemed rather hurried to get everything loop closed so that they can move on and end the movie . With impatience like that build in the script to have everything wrapped in 48 hours , it's no wonder should the film had dropped plenty of its intended depth ( if any ) and chose to make itself fast and loose , and somehow along the way , unfunny . I'd sure like to Meet Dave properly , and not have to suffer a quick hi and then bye .
|
514,859 | 317,399 | 1,133,594 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Shaolin Girl
|
Ever since the success of Stephen Chow's Shaollin Soccer in 2001 , he's been asked time and again whether a sequel was in the works . There still isn't , but he sort of franchised the idea out to the Japanese and served as executive producer , so the outcome of the deal , was Shaolin Girl . However , the net of it all is that while the intent for a quasi-sequel is there , having the Japanese play characters experts in the classic Chinese form of martial arts might seem a little wrong , just like how the hue and cry came about with Chinese characters portraying Japanese geishas . But if the source in contention was treated with respect , I guess there would be no qualms moving forward , though with the way things were treated here , you would've pondered whether it was done in jest , or in mockery . For instance , the numerous Bruce Lee homage . Yes , we all know about all things yellow , so it's a no brainer here . But to have a lookalike come out as a villain , dressed in a white singlet , black pants and emulating Lee on the nunchuks , was a tad below the belt , especially the way he was disgracefully dispatched . A friend of mine said it was perhaps a kick in the face toward all the imitations and wannabes , but I'd like to think otherwise . The finale look straight out of Game of Death where our alpha-female do battle floor to floor encountering various martial arts masters , but come to think of it , they were dispatched with incredible ease . And don't get me started on the corridor of mirrors too , which served no purpose other than to show that the filmmakers can . Lead actress Kou Shibasaki ( from Crying Out Love In The Center of the World ) in the titular role looks good and cute for the part in order to draw in the crowds , and granted she has no martial arts background ( ala new female warrior Jeeja Yanin in Chocolate ) she makes up for it with artificially choreographed grace that made her a little believable . What's not believable , was her ability to speak Chinese , and the Shaolin monks as well , because they are clearly Japanese , but had to pass off as experts in the language , which came off as unbearable and laughable . You might think that director Katsuyuki Motohiro , with his Bayside Shakedown pedigree , would be deft at handling stories with multiple subplots . However , Shaolin Girl bitten off more than it could chew , and couldn't decide what it wanted to be . On one hand , it wanted to spread the love for Kung Fu , or specifically , the Shaolin brand of fist-fighting . On the other , it had to reflect on its supposed predecessor and fuse in a sport different from soccer ( here it's Lacrosse ) . And it wanted to weave kung fu into the game , only to hold back to prevent itself from being a clone . So while you get a sport , there isn't much copycat kung-fu styles and stances , until the end credit roll when it became obvious . Shaolin Girl Rin Sakurazara was sent as a kid by her grandfather to China's famed Shaolin school of martial arts to learn to curb and control her wealth of potential , promised power . What this power was , nobody knew , except that everyone knew she had to be protected from the villains lest she gets tempted to go to the Dark Side ( yes , so very Star Wars ) . But she returns upon completion of her training to revive her grandfather's dojo , and does so in quite an impetuous headstrong manner , that she has a few lessons to learn herself , such as humility , camaraderie and teamwork , before she can impart those martial arts lessons . However , despite all that talk about teaming , it still boiled down to a one-woman whackfest for the last act . If you're looking for some serious fighting , then the first two acts of the movie will bore as you only get teases spruced very much by special effects , some bits too , especially those involving Lacrosse , got too repetitive . Kitty Zhang , Chow's new muse from CJ7 , ends up in this movie too to provide some lesbian undertones ( ok , so I chose to read it that way , but think about it ) . and although she has a meatier role here as a naive do-gooder , the role still boiled down to a flower vase in cheongsam . And if you're patient and were waiting to be rewarded with some proper combat for the finale , be prepared to be disappointed too . For all the talk about her prowess , you'll laugh at what Rin pulled off . Not that it's a comedy and you're supposed to chuckle , but you're laughing at its delivery instead , for all the wrong reasons . Never have I seen something that hokey , and anti-climatic as well . Not only that , the fights were unimaginative and , horrors , boring too , while the villains were all reduced to mindless goons ala Crazy88 style , with some tendencies to caress man boobs , and totally unmenacing , with lead villains having zero motivation other than to desire to fight . I nearly fell off my seat when it ventured close to The Promise territory with its take on the tykes . Even supporting appearances by characters from Shaolin Soccer couldn't save the day , and became ridiculous caricatures of themselves . Perhaps what could rescue Shaolin Girl , was a cameo by Chow who probably might have upped the credibility of this flick , but alas , knowing that it would stink , he rightfully kept his distance . And so should you , unless you're a fan of either Kitty Zhang or Kou Shibasaki , then you can lap up all the close-up shots .
|
515,229 | 317,399 | 437,179 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : See No Evil
|
WWE ( or WWF back then ) stars are no strangers to taking that leap into the movie world , with legends like Hulk Hogan starring in B-movies like Suburban Commando and Thunder in Paradise , or more contemporary figures like The Rock starring in various action movies like Walking Tall and The Scorpion King . Not only the lead roles , but they take on smaller bit roles like Diesel's stint as The Russian in the Marvel comic book movie The Punisher . Being a heroic or an evil character doesn't matter , as they entertain in the wrestling ring switching allegiances and trade karma like changing underwear , and since it's mostly action movies , the acting chops are not required , as their physical presence more than make up what's lacking , not that they don't do a lot of acting in ring though . See No Evil stars WWE's Kane as a psychotic killer with a penchant for digging out the eyes of his victims . Some which you'd get to see on screen , some which the censors deem too graphic for an NC16 rated flick and left on the cutting room floor ( better luck with M18 or R21 I'd say ) . Anyway from those scenes , it looked as if it's so easy to claw anyone's eye out ( is it really ? ) . So with his assortment of weapons like the axe , the hook and chain , or just his bare hands with brute strength befitting a 7 footer , he cuts one mean looking reject from the recent The Hills Have Eyes zombie character . I hate to use a classic as a comparison , but suffice to say that the premise stinks of being a poor man's cousin of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho filed with generous doses of MTV styled quick cuts . Instead of Bates motel , you have Blackwell Hotel , together with the suggestion that it is the all domineering and crazed mother whose warped upbringing nurtured humanity's monster . Taking yet another swipe at religious zealots too , as flashbacks show the young psycho kid being tortured by a mom who cages him and the punishment dished out for looking at porn ( hence the title see no evil lah ) . Packed into the movie are the various fodder for him to maim and kill . Character development , or at least the attempt in trying to weave in a tale of revenge , seem to be abandoned halfway , as characters start to drop off like barflies . It doesn't take you too long to realize who's on which side , and who'll survive ( according to horror slasher flick lore that the blondie and those having sex must die ) given the clichés . Starring relative unknowns as a bunch of inmates sent to the Hotel to perform cleaning fatigues , it's a pity that most of them were not given glorious cinematic deaths in a movie like this . Perhaps with movies like Hills Have Eyes , the Saw franchise , and Hostel , we're all a bit jaded from the rehashed dark and dankly film sets and throwaway characters . There's nothing new presented in this movie , and is only made for Kane's fan base . Even then , with so little of their star seen in the flesh , they might as well be better off with his exploits in the wrestling ring . Stay tuned until after the initial end credits roll for a cheeky scene , which absolutely will never happen in the ring against Kane .
|
514,399 | 317,399 | 1,378,195 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : A Big Road
|
The man in the Citibank diner advertisement would probably tear his remaining hair out at A Big Road since it is a true blue " arty-farty " film , and his dinner date probably got the reaction right as well . I had held out getting tickets for this world premiere , and if Kan Lume's Female Games was screening instead , no prizes where I would have put my dollars at . But that film was withdrawn , and the buzz for this was building , and I had to check out what it's about , no ? Of late we have a number of Singaporean filmmakers who have ventured overseas and made feature length films , from Science Fiction ( Gene Generation ) to Drama ( Slam ! ) and even documentaries to tie in world sporting events like the Olympics with efforts like Mad About English and Boomtown Beijing , and also not forgetting my favourite film-making duo of James Leong and Lynn Lee who have made gems like Homeless FC and Aki Ra's Boys , with their latest film ready some time end of this year , so that's something to look forward to . Alec Tok would be a name to add to this list of growing filmmakers spreading their wings abroad with this debut effort . A Big Road chronicles three women in Shanghai , and from the get go at the lengthy prologue at the Shanghai Railway Station , it screams art , requiring plenty of getting used to with its focus-out-of-focus shots within the frame , cuing you into certain points , yet inevitably raising questions just what was going on . I tried hard to concentrate , then let go to follow the flow , but tried as I did , I just couldn't grasp what the intent and meaning was , if any . The scenes floated from one to another , relying a chock load on your own imagination to fill the pieces in between . We see a lady dressed in a white coat drifting around in a voyeuristic fashion as if in limbo in our world , whose point of view consists of specific colours on people , and is probably the chorus to this artificial play as we see what she wants us to see . Which also includes two feuding families at a dinner table , a particular Mrs Zhao purchasing a new born baby girl from poor villagers , and Xiao Fang ( Liu Hongli ) the kept woman who's sold by her own mother for profit . While you can see immediate parallels in the plight of women whatever their ages being sold for money , one can't stop wondering what Alec's intent was , and it's always curious when a man crafts woman-centric stories and scenes especially when they fail to resonate and get the intended emotions through . It's one thing sticking a camera and letting it record on a long , extended take , but another if wanting to communicate emotions . Time was felt heavily , and sad to say no time was properly invested to develop and establish characters as they came and go in a generic , blur fashion . The mid-point was especially amusing when some folks decided to use it as a break to answer phones / visit the toilet / stretch their legs . It reaffirms that girls do take an extremely long time to dress up , putting on and putting off , looking at oneself at the mirror preening , and this went on for some 10 minutes . From then on the film switches gears even when the engine's not ready to shift up , with a flurry of scenes coming and going involving a man wanting to break off an engagement ( check out that Tak-Giu T-Shirt , Jacen ! ) , and decided to go all Man by dealing with a Father's love , with flashbacks from his death bed , which turned out to be emotionally dry . Characters were crying , but the damage was done and you'd just don't care except to wonder when the brakes will be pulled , though one still had a mahjong scene to navigate through . A Big Road may be too wide ( in the number of issues it wanted to showcase perhaps ) and too long , and without clear directions , is risking alienating an audience from it and losing them . That Citibank diner guy would have new found friends .
|
515,216 | 317,399 | 371,853 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : The Nun
|
This week's surprise screening at GV turned out to be the horror movie The Nun ( La Monja ) . Seriously , I think that horror movies should try and come up with more imaginative titles , even though the story's about the character as described in the title . Who knows , soon we'll have spinoffs like The Monk , The Priest , and others belonging to various religious sects . The basic premise goes very simply , that a ghoul dressed up in a Nun garb ( so that it can lay claim to the title ) goes around killing ex-convent girls . There seemed to be some sort of conspiracy involved , as the daughter of one of the victims , Eva ( played by an eye candy Icelandic Anita Briem ) , goes on to discover , with the help of a few good friends , like a rip off of I Know What You Did Last Summer ( mentioned also , by the way ) . So as the body count increases , it's a race against time for our emotionally scarred ( aren't they always ? ) heroine to uncover the truth and save the day . Delving into the sins of the mothers , the movie did the unthinkable , that with a dream sequence as the introduction . I hate dream sequences as it's a pretty cheap technique if not done correctly , and there are a couple of them in the movie . In part , the movie played at times like Ju-On gone wrong with the plenty of Dark Water references , and they could have retitled this Unholy Water , for the circumstances and plot points in the movie . However , there are plot holes abound , so don't be looking into the storyline too deeply . You'd come to expect the standard textbook twists towards the end about the sadistic nun , and sets which look like they can rival recent Thai horror movie Dorm . The acting's pretty forgettable , with the cast speaking in perfect heavily accented English . And since most of them are pleasing to the eye , the story must weave in a love scene in the middle of a witch-hunt . What gives ? Hello , got hantu , still got mood ah ? Then again , the ghoul is a pretty cheap animated / SFX which has a built in AI of popping up every now and then , in various fashion , just to elicit screams from timid audiences . The characters also break every unwritten rule in the Do-Nots in horror lore , so you know and expect their just desserts . Can you possibly enjoy this movie ? Sure you can . Just ensure that you're watching it in a full house ( should be easy , since local folks are suckers for anything remotely horrific ) , and laugh at those who are so jumpy they scream at every " frightening " scene . It's pretty fun , and adds to the atmosphere , besides what's going on the screen . Surround sound doesn't even come close . Think of it as watching an episode of Scooby Doo without the wisecracks , and it's a pity that the gory moments in the movie had to be censored for a PG rating . Those could possibly have been the best bits , now left rotting on the censor's floor board .
|
514,603 | 317,399 | 387,898 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Hidden ( Cache )
|
If I'm asked to recommend a film with style but no substance , then this movie will be it for the year thus far . So much have been raved about the direction , that the storyline is left hanging deliberately . Perhaps there's not much of a story to begin with ? We start off with a motionless camera capturing from afar , a series of apartments . Precious minutes go by as the credits start to roll , until someone hit the rewind button , which is when you realize you're watching a tape . Or rather , the married couple Georges ( Daniel Auteuil ) and Anne ( a bloated Juliette Binoche ) are . Some twisted mind has sent them a video of their apartment from across the street , though it is frigging ' impossible to do so without them , or anyone , noticing a high-end good quality voyeuristic cameraman doing so . So you get more and more of such tapes being sent over together with childish pictures of incapacitate heads spewing blood , some with different settings , or clues , which Georges decides to investigate by going on-site . What happens , I will not reveal , but it is boring just to watch them go about trying to find out who the perpetrator is . The plot gets more and more absurd , so much so that you'll be screaming for it to end halfway through the movie . The premise gets terrifically set up , but the delivery has so much more to improve . It is disappointing . From the trailers , you feel that you're up for some good old thriller with satisfying twists . But what you get is a painfully slow movie , which tries to conjure and allude France's history with the Algerians . The saving grace is probably both Auteuil and Binoche's performance , as a husband who finds it impossible to reveal his past , and therefore causing extreme tension with his wife , who finds it almost impossible to trust . There's a full scene in which a boy hacks up a chicken's head , and the camera lingers until the chicken dies . This is what this movie is , a headless chicken running around in futile , boring audiences until its end . The plot is like Georges ' character when he was almost knocked down by a cyclist - exhibiting great bravado with his initial challenge , but when challenged back in return , cowers and wraps up with the tail in between its legs . Pah !
|
515,048 | 317,399 | 1,060,249 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Drona
|
Abhishek Bachchan and Priyanka Chopra in a sword and sorcery movie from Bollywood ? That's certainly something different for me , and having two leading stars in this movie definitely provided that additional boost to pick up the DVD for closer scrutiny . Alas for a fantasy film , there's nothing groundbreaking in its special effects , action sequences or story , and if some kind of benchmark was to be set , then this would likely be at the level of Krull , and even then , Krull had a more coherent and intriguing premises than Drona . In Goldie Behl's creation , Drona refers to the long lineage of kings entrusted to protect the Nectar of Immortality , which demigods of the universe had decided to hide on Earth , under the constant eye of their chosen protector . Adit ( Abhishek Bachchan ) is the latest descendant of Dronas , but is unaware of his innate ability as protector of the world . In what seemed to be some vast similarities to Harry Potter , he lives with mean relatives and becomes a punching bag for their bullying , until he's awakened by his protector of sorts , the woman-warrior Sonia ( Priyanka Chopra ) . So it becomes a discovery of his lineage , abilities and destiny , but this development plods along so slowly , coupled with Bachchan's constant brooding as Drona , that it makes it really infuriating to follow , and not to mention countless of over-dramatic moments each time he discovers a little something about himself or his abilities , or even his wardrobe , sword and trusty super steed . And in order to push this Drona into action , it had taken the villainous wizard Riz Raizada ( Kay Kay Menon ) a diabolical scheme to freeze Drona's mom ( Jaya Bachchan ) into suspended animation , and thereafter some really convenient plot development that allows the audience to follow Drona around in a rescue mission of sorts . Drona's abilities actually don't come off as well-defined , and you would've wondered at the amazing ability of his to fight off his opponents through various wire-fu moves . Battle sequences on the whole were rather lacklustre , and the big train action sequence came off as rather clunky and clumsy , and strictly meant for the kids . Costumes were rather average , and I thought Priyanka had to endure some really ridiculous outfits that tried too hard to make her look sexy yet fearsome as a warrior . The rare saving graces in the film were the numerous graphical and animated stills that get juxtaposed with the live action scenes . Those were really gorgeous to gawk at , together with some of the really ambitious special effects used to jazz up scenes , but a pity that the same can't be said of the film proper . And of course , Kay Kay Menon seemed to have a field day with a villain with a penchant for monologues through puppetry , and the creation of countless of clones to do his evil bidding and fight battles on his behalf . For a villain he had some of the best moments in being always one step ahead of the hero , until of course the decisive moment in the finale which was a real disappointment . No doubt Drona tried hard to be a one of a kind film in a genre seldom seen from Bollywood , but it contains more misses than hits , and lacked that fundamental quality that it's always about the story first , then special effects and action second . But as they say , the only way to go from here for this genre in Bollywood , is up . Watch only if you have some children to entertain .
|
514,845 | 317,399 | 1,098,327 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review : Dragonball Evolution
|
Hollywood plundering Japanese pop culture isn't something new . From " Americanizing " television series for the kids from Power Rangers to Ultraman , and adapting famed characters from Japanese film , games and manga to frequent disastrous effect , it still wouldn't stop the studios from going after one property after another . This time round it's the long running Dragonball series , because the assumption is that the built-in fan base would translate to instant dollars at the box office . Not . You have to give the filmmakers a little bit of credit though , being either foolhardy , or just plain ballsy . It's a given that they cannot condense and distill the rich content into a surprisingly less than 90 minute movie , and live in the hopes of producing a sequel , or to generate a franchise ( i . e . don't leave the cinema hall when the end credits start to roll ) . But what they successfully do , is to super-summarize the entire mythos by throwing out everything except the main gist of the entire manga , making it extremely simplistic in poor lazy-man standards in adaptation . For the uninitiated , the film would serve as a quick launchpad to the original manga . For those with a wee bit of knowledge of what it's about ( like myself ) , the film just treads along the same lines and doesn't offer you new information . For the fanboys , I guess you'll only get some kicks at seeing some of your favorite characters come alive , only that they look more Caucasian , and have a head full of hair when they're not supposed to ( someone forgot to insist that in the contract ? ) That's all you're gonna get . Period . As far as film-making and story-telling techniques go , you can see cliché after cliché being thrown at you , with the poorly and cheaply rendered special effects offering no consolation . Justin Chatwin's Goku is your typical teenager who possesses innate potential yet to be realized , and in his frustration he gets treated by peers as a loser geek . He lives with his grandpa Gohan ( Randall Duk Kim in stereotypical know-it-all like in Kung Pu Panda ) , and develops a crush on school hottie Chi Chi ( Jamie Chung ) . Goku's calling in life is to prevent an apocalypse from happening with the return of chief cardboard baddie Lord Piccolo ( an instant shoo-in as one of the worst cinematic villains , ever ! ) and his temporary sidekick Mai ( Eriko Tamura ) who attempt to collect 7 dragonballs to fulfill an ancient myth . And of course Goku needs a Fellowship , in the form of irritating tech-wizard Bulma ( Emmy Rossum last seen in the sinker Poseidon ) , mercenary Yum Cha ( Joon Park who probably copied Rain's uninspiring cinematic turn in Speed Racer to a T ) and Chow Yun-Fat the biggest name of them all here trying his darnest best to act cute as Master Roshi , who imparts skills in double quick time to Goku . Speaking of time , or the lack thereof , everything is compressed . From two weeks to two days and the day of the blood moon shielding the yellow sun ( OK so I made that up ) , everything moves at so fast a pace , that all you get are cheesy lines of dialog , and an excuse to paste some action sequences together . And James Wong certainly can't direct action ( despite being at the helm of Jet Li's The One , which was of course bland and bad ) , opting to pay homage to Zack Snyder's slow-mo technique , and midway changing the style to having the camera being too close to the action , in the dark , coupled with quick MTV cuts that you don't get to see a thing . And the rush job just doesn't stop at the narrative or the action . Special effects wise , they look really cheap , and I wonder whether Producer Stephen Chow would roll his eyes at what would be extremely pale when put side by side with his Kung Fu Hustle done many years ago . Ayumi Hamasaki's contribution of the theme song Rule sounded really bad as well ( I may get flak from her fans ) , and I guess having some Asian participation doesn't legitimize what is essentially a poorly done movie . Not even Chow Yun-Fat's star status could save this , and you wonder what figured when this is the movie that he gave up Red Cliff for . This is basically a movie that only children below the age of 5 will enjoy tremendously , despite having to see 6 half-balls , contributed courtesy of the 3 lead female characters , being continuously flashed on screen , thanks to some neck plunging wardrobe ( where's that malfunction when you need one ? ) Totally bland and really uninteresting , I would suggest sticking to the manga instead .
|
514,647 | 317,399 | 1,355,236 | 3 |
A Nutshell Review
|
The trailers may have fooled audiences into believing , like the rest of his films , this is a laugh-fest . The funniest bit in the theatrical trailer is nowhere to be found in the film , as are other scenes too . One wonders if they were trimmed for run time reasons ( this clocks in very close to 2 hours ) , but the decisions to have kept whatever made it to the theatrical cut , were strange indeed because they were very tired jokes , recycling some from Jack's past films , and most turned out to be terribly expected , cliché and rancid . The story's a simple one , running along three arcs keeping all the characters distinctly segregated with little interaction between them . Henry Thia's Bo Seng and Yeo Yann Yann's Jia Li are husband and wife of many years , and they experience marital woes of not being appreciated and witnessing their sex life evaporate . Throw in some male ego-centric anxieties , and that sums up the first arc , a subject matter that Jack had tackled with That One No Enough . Alex Leong plays their son Benny , a nerd who is infatuated with the school belle Jennifer ( Natalli ) . Rehash I Not Stupid 2's mobile phone moments , which is the crucial plot element here , coupled with technology , instead of blogs , to video hosting sites , with a dash of scintillating sex scandal , and there you have the issue of the bedroom voyeurs of today . The third arc involves Seng's god-brother Jeremy ( Jack Lim ) , a good natured person with a penchant of helping anyone , but harbours a perverse hobby of porn surfing and trawling online sites for , you guessed it , sex . He meets Benny's teacher Ms Wong ( Cheryl Lee ) when posing as a parent , and struggles to woo the woman of his dreams , while grappling with the hopes of meeting up with his latest online acquisition . This arc had some potential even though it was coasting along the predictable , but got bogged down by an elaborate hoax , and poor delivery , plodding all the way to the end which lacked suspense , was expected and everyone waiting for it to just happen . Precious minutes could have been shaved to pace it tighter , and its Hard Candy / Audition moments just cheapened the story many notches down . Henry Thia has to date played supporting roles with some of the best speaking lines , but to headline a film , that's something new . While most will associate him with being the comedic dim-wit , he continues his dramatic streak from Money No Enough 2 , though of course you shouldn't be looking out for award winning performances . Yeo Yann Yann is grossly underutilized here , being no more than a menopausal " auntie " who has husband issues to settle , no thanks to gossipy friends . The one who stole the show here , is Jack Lim . And unfortunately I believe many of his comedic moments got left on the editing room floor , which is a pity , because there were glimpses on what he was capable of in the comedic and dramatic department , but alas , his character here , like all the others , are caricatures . The two youngsters in the movie were extremely painful to watch as well , with the lack of charisma and acting ability , that one wished that their screen time would be severely limited . Cameos by Mark Lee who plays a Thai gigolo was a much welcomed addition , and Lai Ming continues to be a Jack Neo film favourite lately , with " Lao Zha Bor " absent despite being featured in some stills . Production values were surprisingly average at best . While many have chided in the past that his movies looked and felt like tele-movies , I shan't deny that this one reinforces those sentiments . I had no qualms about the quality of the audio , which I suspect a number of dialect speaking moments were redubbed to make it Mandarin-friendly here , until one really awful ADR hack-job of a line spouted by Benny really turned many people off . You can literally hear the bewildered groans in the cinema , and I felt that this corner shouldn't have been cut . Really poor execution again . Love Matters is far from being Jack Neo's best film , and given his worry of having it rated N16 , which has its impact already felt when the evening sneaks at a heartland cinema where his traditional fan base hails from , only had it 33 % filled , I think it might struggle to make a dent at the box office , which his previous films had done quite effortlessly . Given the economic glum and the appeal for family friendly comedies during the festive season , audiences may vote with their wallets for something a lot more entertaining . I would recommend this only if you really have nothing to watch this week .
|
515,248 | 317,399 | 453,451 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Mr Bean's Holiday
|
Rowan Atkinson's Mr Bean first burst into mainstream TV prominence in this part of the world sometime in the early 90s , where half hour episodes containing skits of that famous character cut through all boundaries with its humour - by not having Mr Bean speak ( or speak minimally , and when it doesn't matter ) , and set in simple , identifiable premises , he's able to reach out to all , regardless of language . It's been sometime since new material came out , and the TV episodes have been relegated help past time in waiting areas of clinics or government offices . The last big screen outing Mr Bean had , was quite painful to watch , and nothing good came out of it , especially that irritating movie theme song by Westlife which polluted the airwaves . So why did I subject myself to the follow up movie , and possible the last Mr Bean outing in Mr Bean's Holiday ? For the hope that it can bring back fond memories experienced when the television skits worked , that we can see the nonsensical , anti-social Mr Bean in his rude glory . However , it was not to be . In summary , Mr Bean has won a local raffle , which sends him to Cannes for a holiday . In true Bean fashion , everything goes terribly wrong , no thanks to his own stupidity , and he spends more effort trying to make up for lost time in getting to the fabled beach holiday . If you really break it down , the movie contains a series of set pieces which are skits stitched together to form a feature length film . The same old bag of tricks are recycled , as you terribly need great patience to sit through yet another Mr Bean hopping tantrum . There are rare funny moments that you can count with one hand , but nothing genuine . Most attempts at laughter were pretty contrived . Perhaps the few scenes that were fun ( not funny ) was Willem Dafoe hamming it up as the self-indulgent writer-director-producer Carson Clay at the 59th Festival de CannesPopular characters have a shelf life . Mr Bean's probably up , and it's time to put the character to rest . No point flogging an old horse to make a quick buck .
|
515,286 | 317,399 | 424,823 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Balls of Fury
|
Balls of Fury is a movie that takes the mickey out of martial arts movies , throwing in a few cheap laughs , and nothing more . Like bad movies with plenty of cheese that adopts martial arts like Mortal Kombat and DOA , Balls follows the usual formula of having a prodigy fall from grace , only to be thrusted into a mission that involves prior intense training , and meeting with an adversary who in turn is skilled by the same martial arts teacher , so that the finale is a fight of values . Often there's a secret weapon involved too , and there's no other direct reference I can think of except that this backtracks all the way to Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon , which the other two movies probably had traces of too . There's a tournament organized for the best of the best to pit their skills in , and the gladiators come from all over the world ( so that you can include some poor geographically based comedy , in this case ) . Like Shih Kien's character in Enter the Dragon , you have an enigmatic megalomaniac as the chief of the tournament , held in a mansion , and in no time , our hero ( hey , just for another Bruce Lee related reference for the heck of it , Jason Scott Lee's in this picture as well , though only as a supporting cast member ) will discover its dark secrets , and kick the living daylights out of everyone to escape . Except that in Balls , it is a ping pong / table tennis tournament , and the master of tournament is Feng ( Christopher Walken , and I have no idea what's he doing here too ) , with assistance provided by Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa , who is relegated from a similar head honcho role in the Mortal Kombat movie . And leading the charge to break into the tournament , is one time table tennis child prodigy Randy Daytona ( Dan Fogler ) , a disgraced player now a fat shadow of his past formidable self , persuaded into the competition by a Secret Agent FBI man Agent Ernie ( George Lopez ) for the purpose of some serious federal investigations . The comedy here is a bit tired , and most of the best bits were already included in the trailer . You have the usual sexist jokes involving sexy female characters , like the conveniently named Maggie ( Maggie Q , doing so little and wearing even less ) , tired fat jokes , and plenty more from the blind sifu Master Wong ( James Hong ) , whom I thought had probably the best lines in the movie , nevermind that most of them consists of faux pas martial arts philosophy full of sexual innuendos , and plenty of politically incorrectness coupled with slapstick physical comedy . But what went into effective overdrive , were the increasing attempts of sleight-of-hand moments in misdirection , which were spot on and timed perfectly . Other attempts though fell flat , especially those trying to recreate the spirit of nonsensical moments by the Abrahams-Zuker comedies , such as the inclusion of the sex slaves . However Balls turns out to be pretty bland overall , and the storyline already well summarized in the trailer . Don't expect too much , and you might enjoy a chuckle or two . Otherwise rent this instead .
|
515,468 | 317,399 | 891,592 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Street Fighter : The Legend of Chun-Li
|
Made in collaboration with Capcom , I think someone probably thought enough time had past and the past stinker forgotten , and to follow suit in a franchise milking programme like what Marvel and DC had embarked upon , a reboot is in order and the current buzzword . So just like how the characters in Street Fighter hail from all over the world , the production too has input from everywhere , like actors in the West and in the East , being filmed in Thailand and having Indian producing input as well . It's like a melting pot of cultures collaborating in breathing life into a possible franchise should this film prove to be successful . But chances are I suspect it'll at most hit the direct to DVD route after this . It's a little surprising that the filmmakers opted for Chun Li instead of the signature character of Ryu . Maybe they have faith in Kristin Kreuk , better known for her Lana Lang role in Smallville , to pull in the fanboys , or once fanboys , of the video game . But as it turns out , while she may be a looker , and her personal grounding in gymnastics and martial arts do help , she's ultimately let down by a weak plot ( ok , so that's expected ) and some very weak supporting characters . On the side of the good , you have Cheng Pei Pei in a one scene cameo , who does nothing but to tell her to go to Bangkok and live like a pauper , useless cops with Chris Klein as an Interpol cop Charlie Nash who's basically cardboard and Moon Bloodgood ( love that name ) as a Thai policewoman Maya who just preens and purrs , and Robin Shou as Gen , a mystical David-Carradine-Kung-Fu knock off with long grey hair . As if the villains were good enough , being nothing but bland and uninteresting . I thought it was a good spin on things to have Neal McDonough's Bison being a corporate raider with his Shadaloo organization , aided by lesbian femme fatale Cantana ( Hong Kong's Josie Ho ) , a very underused Vega ( Black Eyed Peas ' Taboo ) and Michael Clarke Duncan's Balrog , who's more like a relegated Kingpin of Crime from Daredevil , now playing sidekick . Like Robin Shou , who also once had leading role status , I feel that this film was like a collection of would be has - beens waiting for another chance at the big league . If there's any cause for celebration , then it might be Edmund Chen's role as Chun Li's dad Heung . From Ivan Heng to Adrian Pang to Fann Wong and to the coup of seeing Chin Han having possibly the role of his life in The Dark Knight , Edmund Chen looks set to follow in the latter's footsteps , but only up until some stuntmen unceremoniously took over almost all his fighting scenes , even those that require him to perform some non-life threatening qi - gong stances . The body double is really too obvious and one can tell it isn't him at all . So shave off some 50 % of his " appearance " from the film . Street Fighter : The Legend of Chun Li is a straight forward film without much depth in its story , and it's relatively lower production budget translates to many of the jazzy special prowess in the game being considerably toned down . Perhaps director Andrzej Bartkowiak's intention was to have it more rooted to reality , but therein lies the danger see , because this film has tremendous parallels with that of another super-powered movie called Elektra . Both have recognizable female actresses in the lead role , and they share a plot involving secret organizations , mystical healing , an experienced teacher to learn the ropes from , and plenty of hokey martial arts . Even the training sequence looks super summarized , uninspiring and filled with unremarkable , clichéd dialogue . Having said that it was more rooted in reality , that doesn't mean there weren't fun opportunities for some game-like signature moments . I had enjoyed how Bison power packs his punches and kicks , just like in the game but without any glowing-blue glove to visually enhance it ( just throbbing sound effects ) . Chun Li doesn't appear in her iconic qipao , but makes up for it in one scene where she has to execute her Tenshokyaku , the spinning bird kick where she inverts herself and spins her legs like helicopter blades , and dons her hair " ox horns " style . Other than that , her costume's pretty much well suited for the heat and humidity of the Bangkok temperature , as well as the usual black ensemble made hip by X - Men . It had tried to be more cerebral in crafting a father-daughter story between Chun Li and dad Heung , Chun Li and her master Gen , and that between M . Bison and her daughter Rose . But anything in depth has no place in the film as it opted to be more fleet-footed that even a three year old could follow . It's an origin story , and depending on which camp you're on , you may or may not agree with some of the tweaks made here to accommodate the film version of things . Despite being called " Street Fighter " , the fights here are nothing too fantastic or memorable , and looks comfortably in place with many B-grade action movies out there , with the occasional lapsing into the crutch of having the fight scenes edited in double quick time . I suppose the filmmakers had tried their best , but there's a lot of room to try harder and come up with a better product . The lead to the sequel involves a martial arts tournament , but please don't go down the same road as Mortal Kombat and the likes . Come up with a proper and stronger story , and perhaps , we could get a chance to see a franchise being developed , straight to the cinema or DVD market . I'm willing to give it a shot , even with or without Kristin Kreuk returning .
|
515,367 | 317,399 | 462,396 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : The Last Legion
|
There are many adaptations and versions to the tale of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table , with Merlin the sorcerer , and of the magical sword Excalibur , some versions which set it into stone , while others , handed out by a lady in the water . The Last Legion is essentially touting a story about the beginnings of Excalibur and how it took to the former . However , it took a long route to tell this story , going all the way back to 400-something AD , a time where Rome is in turmoil . Actually Rome is in turmoil ever since Julius Caesar got killed by friends , Romans , countrymen . In a time where generals scheme to usurp the throne and politicians of the Senate are corrupt as hell , it's little wonder why one of the best and most loyal generals Aurelius ( Colin Firth ) gets recalled to protect the rear of the new boy-king-god-Caesar Romulus Augustus , played by Thomas Sangster ( the kid in Nanny McPhee and Tristan and Isolde ) . Naturally the enemies spring a surprise attack , and our merry men have to flee Rome , and journey to Britain to regroup with the 9th Legion ( henceforth also known as the Last Legion ) , bringing in tow a seer Ambrosinus ( Ben Kingsley ) , and a lady warrior in Mira ( Aishwarya Rai ) . Like most medieval stories with elements of magic or involving the higher powers from Mount Olympus , The Last Legion does away with the sorcery portion , like what Troy and King Arthur had done , opting instead to focus more on reality , and what possibly could have been done without divine intervention , or fantastical assistance . Thus this makes Kingsley's role a little redundant , and relegates him into a fortune teller rather than an all powerful wizard , despite his garb looking a lot like Gandalf's . While it could have gotten away with its material given 10 years back , unfortunately the stakes in the genre have been raised , and everyone's expecting a spectacle of huge armies battling in hand to hand combat , with its combatants having some form of fancy killing moves . The Last Legion pales in terms of providing that level of detail and spectacle , and chose instead to provide unsophisticated battle scenes , or swordplay that is a tad too uninspiring . Most of the fanciful moves were reserved for Aishwarya , but even that too began to become repetitive . Not even her booby trapped enhanced short sword offered anything we're never seen before . With characters you don't really care about , what made it a little unbearable amongst the good guys , was the totally hokey , unbelievable romance between Rai and Firth's characters . It doesn't mean that having characters from the opposite sex means they find each other irresistible and want to get into each other's pants . There is absolutely zero chemistry and zero buildup . One minute they're allies , the next they're admiring each other's swordplay , and then , the bed beckons . And if the villains justify what kind of heroes we get , then it's a no brainer that they are bland and devoid of any interesting notion . World domination seems to be their only objective , and both the Romans and the British ( using the term loosely here ) villains are merely caricatures . As I said , while The Last Legion might have worked if it's released 10 years ago , this movie can't justify it being made now . It's suitable at most for that DVD rental for a lazy afternoon , but nothing more , and only if you're in dire need of some , or any , form of entertainment .
|
515,214 | 317,399 | 405,469 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : The Wild
|
2006 is the year of the animal animation . Earlier in the year , we had the local stinker Zodiac Race , and over the next few months , there are offerings like Over the Hedge , Barnyard , Happy Feet ( no doubt inspired by March of the Penguins ) and Open Season . It's an animal world out there in the world of animation . I'm not too sure why this was made . Sure , the graphics were photo-realistic and crisp , and it had the usual elements of modern day animated flicks . But I guess it's time for filmmakers in this genre to realize that the substance of the story is of paramount importance too . Then again , it's meant strictly for kids . However , even a 3-year old kid who attended the same screening as me , sensed a deja-vu , and didn't take too long to realize that it's so " Madagascar " ( 2005's offering from Dreamworks ) . The premise , if you strip it all down , is also about a group of animals from New York Zoo who made their way ( so the motivations might differ slightly ) to Africa , where they meet nasty native animals , and engage in plenty of mindless song and dance . The Wild also adapted a few more plot elements from its own library like The Lion King , and incorporated the father-son seeking acceptance relationship from last year's died-in-its - own-hype Chicken Little , and borrowed the " I am God , worship me " plot from Ice Age 2 . What gives folks ? I'm aware of some rumours that the filmmakers between the Wild and Madagascar split , and those who jumped shipped to Dreamworks managed to get their product out in the market first . Still , having two movies battling each other , doesn't work well for the one released later . The first half of the movie was bogged down by its melodrama in the fore-mentioned dad - son plot , while the second half dealt out more madcap humour . It's build up to the finale with the bulls wanting to top the food chain , sounded familiar too . There are funny characters abound , but they all lacked somewhat , especially the snake and the giraffe . The joke on the Koala , while fun initially , was repetitive and you'll really want to kick and rip any Koala soft toy out there by the time you're true . The voice talents did a commendable job with the flimsy story , with the likes of Kiefer Sutherland , James Belushi , Janeane Garofalo , and even William Shatner grunting like animals . But the lineup is quite forgettable , especially with rival Dreamworks ' offering in the horizon ( also about animals ! ) Over The Hedge ( Hey , got William Shatner too ! ) As mentioned , the graphics were great though , but the storyline just stinks . I like the way the Lions were done , could have been a showcase of what The Lion King could have looked like if it was conceived some 10 years later . But you probably want to walk out of the theatre as soon as the animals start dancing to the music in the finale . Bad rip-off !
|
515,331 | 317,399 | 996,605 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Love Songs
|
In the running for the Palme d'Or in last year's Cannes Film Festival , Love Songs by Christophe Honore was nothing like what the writeup used in the festival synopsis would have let you believe . Either that , or I'm really dense to have trusted what was essentially a verbatim recap of only the first of three segments that this movie was split into ? Departure , Absence and Return . Rather than dwell on the non-existent and off screen manège-a-trios , it's more of a tale of grief and the handling of grief after personal tragedy . It seemed like an exploration of venturing into the extremes , of being experimental for the sheer thrill of it , of trying to lead a vastly different lifestyle in other to drown all memories of the deceased , of numbing oneself in excessive , meaningless sex . I would have welcomed the viewpoints of family members in depth , as the movie did spend some time to set up those characters , only to have relegated them with sideshow treatment , nothing more than caricatures from parents who try to engage their child's friends in order to discover hidden secrets unknown to them , to siblings who hang around trying to come to grips with the loss , only to find some questionable , eyebrow raising antics leading to assumptions and quick conclusions . As a musical , the songs did feel a little out of place when the characters start to break into them , and seriously , I thought the lyrics could have been lost in translation , as sometimes I could not see how they either move the narrative forward , or speak from the heart the innermost thoughts from the characters mouthing those words . At some points it really felt a little bit forced , and have left one wondering about the relevance of those phrases sung , so while the meaning have probably been lost in me , it might be of relevance to French speakers . While the movie stars Louis Garrel , Ludivine Sagnier and Clotilde Hesme , the bulk of the screen time belonged to Garrel's Ismael . The threesome relationship between their characters weren't exactly explained , only that they are strange bedfellows sharing their nights together . While Sagnier's Julie did reveal her uneasiness at such an arrangement , Hesme's Alice already knows of the boundaries within their relationships that she cannot cross , and as they toy around those forbidden lines , any sense of angst and unhappiness get sung away quite fleetingly . In short , it's a film that lacked some crucial emotional punch , preferring to just scratch the surface and try to get away with it . Definitely trying to appeal to the niche crowd with its dalliances with hetero / lesbian / gay themes , but ultimately , came across as very forced and pretentious , trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole , if you can pardon the pun . Disappointing stuff .
|
514,791 | 317,399 | 358,345 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : The Uninvited
|
The marketeers bill this as a modern horror masterpiece and ranks up there with recent horror stories like Ringu . I'd say phooey , it doesn't even come close , not by a huge mile . Starring probably Korea's most recognizable face Jun Ji-hyun , I'd admit I was curious enough to see how she would take on a horror story after a series of romances and comedies like Daisy , Il Mare , and possible her most popular film to date , My Sassy Girl . In fact , The Uninvited has little horrific moments in the traditional sense , and its attempts at being a psychological thriller falls flat too with its meek attempts to weave and associate itself with the unknown power of the mind . Its fault lay in not being able to provide its characters with much to do , often having them wallow in self-pity because of their scant abilities to see dead children , and in coming up with too many supporting characters whose purpose serve only one scene , and not the story . Case in point , those 2 kids often used to spook potential audiences , have absolutely nothing to do with the story at all . Except perhaps to introduce its male lead Mr Kang Jung-won ( Park Shin-yang ) , an interior designer who chanced upon them during a late night train ride , only to know of their deaths in the news the next day . Soon after he sees them sitting around his dining room of his new would-be matrimonial home , and spooks the heck out of him , enough to move back to his father's home . Again by chance he meets up with willowy Yun-jung ( Jun Ji-hyun ) at his customer's place , a mental clinic , and learns that she attends his father's church too . Yun - jung could have been an interesting character , given her mysterious background , innate shaman like powers and her narcolepsy illness which makes her faint when she least expects to . Just when Jung-won thinks he's mad to be seeing the dead children , Yun-jung seeing the same thing makes him curious enough to want to know her , and tap her shaman like powers to explain his forgotten childhood . But to get to this point was a drag which takes 90 minutes to have things move onto a higher plateau . There's plenty of unnecessary back and forth of scenes with rather plain characters populating the story , like Jung-won's fiancée , Yun-jung's estranged husband and his mother-in-law , Jung-won's father and sister , Yun - jung's best friend who's there just to provide a tragic element , and the list goes on . What's peculiar in this movie , is how it prefers to try and shock with its plenty of leaps off buildings , balconies and parapets as its preferred method of death . Even supporting characters are dispatched cleanly through this method , as if they're introduced precisely for this purpose . And it's shown by an unflinching camera too , which doesn't cut away to dampen its desired effect . I had to admit that I was in awe at how it showed head on , the crushing of a toddler by a lorry tyre . Just like that . And of course it's done by special effects , I can't help but to pause the DVD , rewind , and look at it again , thrice . You have to give credit to its technical strengths , which doesn't rely on cheap tricks like how a typical genre flick would try . But back to basics , what is required is a strong storyline , which The Uninvited doesn't have and squanders its potential . It played out like a hydra with too many things happening at the same time , or brewing in the background , with neither sub plot being developed adequately , and often left hanging and forgotten . It had a theme which could have been made primary - that of the concept of how Truth becomes , only from acceptance , and like that immortalized line from A Few Good Man , can you handle it ? But alas it's too little too late , and with its boring and unnecessary meandering , The Uninvited sinks , and seriously , it's an uninviting movie to sit through for all its blandness .
|
514,598 | 317,399 | 466,342 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Date Movie
|
That my friends , was what actually put me on a theatre seat to sit through the crass comedy Date Movie , with an incredible fat ( courtesy of a fat suit ) Alyson Hannigan gyrating to Milkshake . Like Scary Movie ( hey , written by 2 of the 6 writers you know ? ) , it spoofs its own genre of movies , and here , it's the romance genre . What's the plot ? There is no plot to speak of . It's just stringing together a series of spoofs into an 80 minute movie , drawing its material , and this list is not exhaustive , from movies like Briget Jones ' Diary , Kill Bill , Meet the Parents , Dodgeball , Meet the Fockers ( down to the kid and cat ) , Pretty Woman , When Harry Met Sally , King Kong , Hitch , etc . Some celebrities also get ribbed , like Mr and Mrs Britney Spears , and Michael Jackson . But basically , it's about a fat girl , Julia Jones ( Hannigan ) working in a Greek Diner ( familiar ? ) , having extremely mixed parentage , who falls in love with a Jude Law lookalike - Grant Funkyerdoder . She enlists the help of guru Hitch , and gets herself trimmed down in a car workshop ( don't ask ) . Struggling with constant insecurities , and extremely huge zits , of course don't help . And to make things worse , Grant's ex-fiancée Andy ( an extremely curvy Sophie Monk , taking the usual sex-kitten turns in washing cars , munching burgers , and scantily clad , if not at all ) , turns up the heat and tries to wreck Julia's and Grant's upcoming marriage . What else can I say about the acting - it's essentially non-existent . Some sequences , like the Mr and Mrs Smith one , are done pretty accurately , like right down to Brad Pitt's crew cut hairstyle . And if you're not a fan of toilet / crass humour , then you might want to give this movie a miss , especially since it plays up the scenes in the original movies , a way lot worse than intended ( swallowing sweaty chest hair anyone ? ) The only way to possible enjoy a movie like this , is like the old cliché goes , by leaving your brains at the door . There are many laugh-a-moments , but after the movie , they're mostly forgotten stuff . Good for destress after a long hard day . And I think my friend Richard would probably enjoy the Kill Bill bits , and oh my , the burgers : - D P . S . Stay a while during the end credits , there's another Mr and Mrs Smith spoof scene .
|
515,516 | 317,399 | 397,044 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Blood and Chocolate
|
From the producers of Underworld , this movie looks like a cheap cousin to the popular wolves versus vampires movie starring Kate Beckinsale . Based on a book by Annette Curtis Klause , and directed by Katja von Garnier , it's difficult not to draw comparisons because of the subject material and similar themes , this time though doing without the vampires , and sets the spotlight firmly on a group of hunted werewolves called the Loups-Garoux . Sexy sounding , but essentially a useless name for useless beings . The group of Loups-Garoux proudly stands by their tradition of being able to transform into wolves at will ( and that is their only power mind you ) , and because of their abilities and lust for blood , they are hunted down by Men with their guns and silver bullets ( who and what else ) . In order to survive persecution , they go underground and keep their identities secret , only to come out during the night for frequent partying at rave clubs ( and to pick up chicks ) , as well as attending strange rituals such as gathering in the woods to partake in hunter-prey chases with wounded men as victims . In essence , they're a bunch of self-preserving cowards who hunt in packs , believing whole - heartedly that unity is strength . As mentioned , they got unimpressive abilities which probably forces them to do so , not by choice - only remarkable agility and the preference to scale walls and run along rooftops . Led by an uninspiring , cowardly leader Gabriel ( Kylie Minogue's ex Olivier Martinez ) , he holds on to the unexplained hokey prophecy as well as the tradition of the leader of the pack to handpick a wolf-maiden to bed every 7 years . No wonder he's holding onto power without the necessity to do much to further their cause ( which is ? ) , and sets his sights on marrying Vivian ( Agnes Bruckner ) . Vivian however , being the headstrong ingénue , falls for a plain human , graphic novelist Aiden ( Hugh Dancy ) , and this is where references to Underworld come into full swing . The reluctance in the formation of a forbidden relationship from the girl with secrets , the revenge killings and the hunting down of Aiden , and with Vivian protecting her love , all reeks with familiarity . While Underworld had a rich backstory created for its characters and beings , Blood and Chocolate failed to have anything interesting in either wolf or man to engage the audience . And the execution here is painfully boring . No special effects , not even the baring of fangs , save for coloured contact lenses . It's relatively low-budgeted , and the transformation of man to beast , is so cheap , even a 10 year old kid with a no-frills video editing software will be able to achieve . Fights are confined to chases between wolves and man , and the usual scruffy fisticuffs . Don't forget the loopholes galore too after transformation , which is seldom seen on screen as it'll pose more questions . The only redeeming grace however , is the on-location filming in the streets of Bucharest , a beautiful romantic place , totally ideal for a romanticized tale of man-beasts . The soundtrack too had a tinge of Hindi ( ? ! ) music influences , which I totally enjoyed , but too bad , the film had been intrinsically destroyed by a lack of a strong storyline , plagued with non charismatic and weak villains with zero diabolical plans , with preference to hang around and do nothing , save for showing off their pitiful skills ( which I suspect is because of the lack of budget ) . With a strange title , Blood and Chocolate correctly named itself - a weird and silly mix which doesn't go down well at all . Only watch it on disc if you've got time to spare .
|
515,369 | 317,399 | 87,406 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : ( DVD ) The Hidden Power of Dragon Sabre ( 1984 )
|
The Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre are two fabled weapons in Jin Yong's novel of the same name , and though I haven't read the original book , my recollection of the story goes back to the 80s where Tony Leung Chiu-wai was playing the lead role of Zhang Wuji in the Hong Kong TVB series . In fact , days were the those that I was weaned on plenty of Jin Yong martial arts stories through television . Big screen adaptations of the novels are always difficult because one has to decide just how much material to squeeze into a two hour movie . And adaptations have ranged from the arty-farty remote resemblance like Wong Kar-wai's Ashes of Time , to the plain comedic like The Kungfu Master starring Jet Li , which was actually supposed to be two movies , but had the second part canned . And some , like The Hidden Power of Dragon Sabre , just reused characters and put them into new creative spin offs , which unfortunately , doesn't make much sense in its treatment . I don't think this story is canon nor Jin Yong endorsed , since the background of some characters and artifacts have been changed . For example , the Jiuying and Jiuyang Zhen Jing manuals are not stored in both swords . Rather it was the war manual Wu Mu Yi Shu which was kept inside the Dragon Sabre . Also , combining both weapons doesn't produce laser beams like what's depicted in the movie ( don't ask ! ) but rather , the clanging of two swords together will break them to reveal the manuals . But perhaps what's more ludicrous , is the fusion of some science fiction elements into the story , with a set I swear looks like a poor man's cousin of Star Trek coupled with a roof adorned by faux pas Biblical-like chapel drawings , and some God like element from a passing of a Caucasian ! That aside , this story tells of the aftermath of that in the novel , where the Emperor Zhu Yuanzhang collaborates with the villain Song Qingshu ( Alex Man ) to attack the Mongolians , led by a Princess ( a very young Cherie Chung , in a classical flower vase role ) and General Tieh Zhen , played by Ti Lung . The imperial forces under the scheming Qingshu , disguise themselves as Ming Cult members in the attack , thereafter framing Zhang Wuji ( Derek Yee , in pre-directing days ) who is leader of the sect . Familiar Ming Cult members like the Bat King and Wuji's Godfather the Golden Haired Lion also make supporting appearances , but this movie sits squarely on the rivalry amongst General Tieh , Zhang Wuji and Song Qingchu , who becomes a Dong Fang Bu Bai wannabe with his androgynous transformation , as well as superior martial arts skills . But don't watch this movie for its martial arts or action set pieces . There are none which warrant special mention , and nothing truly groundbreaking or classical in that sense . The action scenes are long drawn , and sad to say , boring , with plenty of repetitive moves and exploding bodies . What's more , the special effects team was probably having a field day with the laser effects , and almost every battle feature so many laser beams , you will not be faulted if you think you're watching Star Wars . Unless it's the Liu Mai Shen Jian skill , I don't really recall Jiuying or Jiuyang Shen Gong being laser beam producing , and the final fight was pretty ridiculous for its light show . As with many Shaw Bros kungfu movies , the ending does leave one wanting for a more satisfactory finish , since most of them usually stop short by the time the baddies get their just desserts . If the West have their spaghetti westerns , then these are the equivalent . Some fight scenes are violent , but blood doesn't flow as much as in some of its counterpart movies . Don't get me wrong , they're still plenty of fun though , with their outlandish costumes , stilted dialogue and cheesy kungfu moves .
|
514,555 | 317,399 | 1,076,251 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Help Me Eros
|
I've got to admit that while I find it difficult to enjoy the works of Tsai Ming-liang and his protégé Lee Kang-sheng , there's still something about it that still draws me to their movies , perhaps in a determined attempt to try and cut through the usual droning of themes like alienation and loneliness , to discover if there's anything else that I could connect to and hang on for the duration of the movie . I thought I'd find something here , but unfortunately it degenerated into something quite messy midway , before some redemption in the finale afforded some relief . Telling the story of Ah Jie , Lee himself plays the protagonist who in a stroke of a bear market , was reduced to a pauper , having his assets like his home and car impounded by the authorities . Does it deter him ? Of course not , as he still goes back to the pound to drive away his vehicle , and continues to ignore the seal outside his apartment . He sells his belongings in an effort to try and raise whatever little cash he can , and in his idle time , he tends to his high-grade homegrown marijuana plants , which he cultivates and smokes to get high in his own little escapism from the hardships of life . In an attempt to connect , he befriends plenty of betel-nut beauties ( one played by Yin Shin as Shin ) , and stalks whom he thinks is Chyi , a lady he got to know from his calls to a sex-chat hotline , allowing him to fantasize about the hot chick with the hot voice . It's really quite pathetic though , because I thought it's always ironic that hot voices over a telephone line belong to someone other than can be labelled shallowly with the term " hot " . Or at least Help Me Eros plays along this line of generalization . The betel-nut beauties on the other hand , is a trade that follows the mantra of skimpier clothes leading to better patronage , and some 10 years ago when I was in Taiwan , this is a phenomenon that's quite true , as you pass by booths set up along highways , and these ladies in their various state of undress , try to entice you for a stop to get your regular packet of cigarettes , or to get into the habit of chewing the equivalent of gum . But this is not just a story about Ah Jie , as the real Chyi ( played by Jane Liao ) is the other character placed under the spotlight . She's horizontally challenged , no thanks to the various delicacies that her cook husband Ah Rong ( Dennis Nieh ) concocts as part of his television food programme . And indeed , it is this portion of the movie that I found much more intriguing , as it was almost documentary like . There were some nicely down parallels between how the food was prepared and designed , and the state of the characters . Like when we're introduced to Ah Jie , we see a live fish being slaughtered in an inhumane manner , clobbered in the head , before having its body cut out , and when presented on the plate , it's still bloody alive , gasping for air . I can't imagine anyone having the stomach to eat it , and this desperation in staying alive , prepares us for Ah Jie's character who is at wits end . Chyi too finds herself pretty lonely with a husband who perhaps found a new love ( with a guy ) , and while she dispenses advice over the phone , she's clearly in need of some herself . Lacking intimacy in her life , she had to resort to getting it on with a bathtub of eels . Yup , you heard me right . In fact , those expecting some eroticism might find a number of such scenes here being quite unsexy , despite its R21 rating , perhaps having those highly offensive ones edited away . Some old uncles expected to see plenty of naked flesh , but in art film fashion , these have been dealt with so nicely that they can't help but to walk off . I learnt for starters to appreciate such a film , not to try and look at it as a whole , but to enjoy the moment , where strengths of individual scenes surpass one trying to find deeper meaning in something . Particularly enjoyable scenes include one which Ah Jie and Shin go on a joyride and having their pictures taken ( you must check this out ) , and the ending which like many other surreal scenes in the movie , paints a very dream-like , picturesque postcard portrait .
|
514,622 | 317,399 | 454,919 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Pulse
|
I've watched the original movie which Pulse is based upon . As is the current trend , Asian horror movies are being adapted or remade by their western counterparts at a rapid pace in an attempt to offer something different in style of the genre to its own audiences . If you haven't watched Kairo , you might think that Pulse is genius . If you had watched Kairo however , and didn't like it , this remake will make you appreciate the original a whole lot more . If you liked Kairo , then Pulse is a blasphemy , whether or not you're a purist . While the original is measured in its delivery , keeping its cards close to its chest while the story developed , Pulse suffers from the dumbing down of plot to cater to the masses - any theme and everything is explained like an instruction manual , and this goes right down to offering some kind of a decent explanation of what exactly is happening , and creates a weak origin to go along too . From the onset , within the first ten minutes , it smacks the ideas of communication and modern day isolation so in your face , you wonder what else are they gonna cover as the movie progressed . Luckily it lasts a little less than 90 minutes , and somehow sustained interest with its nicely done special effects , which you cannot deny is much superior to Kairo , made 5 years ago . However , nifty special effects isn't sufficient to gloss over a serious lack of effort in delivery to make this be at least as creepy as the original . Contrasted with the simple effects of shadowy figures , and the atmospheric chilling mood in Kairo , which you do not get to feel at all when watching Pulse , it degenerates this movie into a level of generics . As with all remakes , some liberties are taken to create new characters , or recreate some from an amalgamation of others . From the trailers you do see iconic scenes taken from Kairo lock stock and barrel , but somehow didn't make the final cut , or was modified . There were some nice touches though , in their recreation of the dank apartment where the first signs of trouble surfaced . Are there any good points at all ? Compared to Kairo , this one is paced faster , because of its action sequences with the showing of the ghouls . So for those with attention disorder , its lack of lingering scenes will make Pulse more palatable to you . But one thing that really stuck out like a sore thumb , is its use of pop music , wiping away any sense or attempts at creating a horror movie truly dependent on mood , which is what made Asian horror stand out against the usual western horror movies in the first place . All in all , I think it's about time remakes cool off the factory floor . If anything , Pulse should generate some interest on Kairo , and allow those who backtrack , discover the genius of the original Kiyoshi Kurosawa masterpiece .
|
514,827 | 317,399 | 454,970 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Turistas
|
Turistas is a clear cut Hostel wannabe . The similarities are obvious , with a group of backpacking tourists having the time of their lives , only to have their vacation cut short after taking advice from outsiders , and find themselves in compromising situations which threaten their lives . It's a race against their aggressors as they try and escape . . . doesn't it all sound so familiar ? The slasher genre cannot be more overcrowded than now . With franchises such as Saw and movies like Hills Have Eyes , Hostel , Wolf Creek and son on , we brace ourselves for more , with the sequels of the previous two mentioned movies coming out soon . I guess such movies , filled with sex and violence , will continue to be made until the box office start to show signs of severe dents and become unprofitable , and hey , I'm not complaining , until now . While you have to tip your hat off at the attempt at tying in urban legends ( which could be true ) about missing personnel and the sweeping statements made at organ donation , the execution ( pardon the pun ) of this movie , is nothing short of basic formula - sex and nudity at the beginning ( though nothing much to see ) , followed by plenty of blood , gore and violence to end it all . In fact , the build up takes so long , you wonder if they had forgotten all about the need to put the characters under some form of duress and emergency , remembering to do so only in the last 30 minutes of the film . Even then , this movie is a walk in the park compared to its more gruesome counterparts . Boasting only one major gory scene which will be likely to make your stomach churn , everything else is a long stroll to making things happen . In fact , having a director of underwater photography credited in the opening , is warning enough - there is a severe overindulgence of underwater scenes , which is neither interesting or exciting , and dragged on for too long . With its inadequate lighting and repetitive actions of surfacing for water , this is perhaps candidate for worst non-action-sequence-ever . If you must scratch your itch in watching a gory movie , then hang on to those precious dollars until The Hills Have Eyes Again . Unless you're a fan of the Las Vegas television series , then you might want to check out one of the rare big screen outings of Josh Duhamel ( who plays Danny in the series ) . Otherwise , wait until Michael Bay's Transformers hit the big screen , he's in that one too .
|
514,852 | 317,399 | 995,752 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Tashan
|
Summer season is here when the choices in the cinemas are limited to what's the hottest movie of the week , given 99 . 9 % of the screens dedicated to screening it . OK , so I may exaggerate on the percentage , but you get my drift . Besides stuff from Hollywood , Bollywood too have their own share of highly anticipated blockbusters , and from some of the trailers shown , I'm hyped to watch them too . Tashan was billed as one of THE most highly anticipated for 2008 , but I was quite surprised at the lower than low turnout at the cinemas . When I watched Jodha Akbar , it was a full house , but it wasn't for Tashan . After watching it , I knew why . It was entertaining , but it was fundamentally weak . Just like it's literal English title , which means " Style " , Tashan is all style , but little substance . Not that it doesn't have the usual star power , but scenes felt forced , and some bordered on a tad ridiculous , even for Bollywood standards I must say . Which is quite surprising given that Tashan is directed and written by Vijay Krishna Acharya , who wrote Dhoom and Dhoom 2 , both of which I enjoyed tremendously . In his rookie directorial outing with Tashan , while you can't fault his direction , you'd probably scratch your head over the plot , which was clunky at best . It tried to force too many things into the story , though credit be given where it allowed you some avenue to question character motivation , but that came a little too late , and only toward the finale , which left you guessing for just a moment before it latched into full blown action mimicking many a Thai action movie , with Hong Kong's wirework and Hollywood's ludicrous firearms and gunplay with zero recoil . And in a bid to include everything including the kitchen sink , you have an assortment of vehicles appearing , and the one that took the cake , in a Dhoom 2 homage , was the jetski boat in the middle of nowhere . At best , Tashan can be enjoyed as unintentional comedy , and this is attributed to how the cast hammed up with their characters . Saif Ali Khan plays Jimmy Cliff , a call center executive who gives English tuition , only as a platform for fishing out new girlfriend material . His playboy ways gets junked aside when he meets with Pooja Singh ( Kareena Kapoor ) , who's not exactly who she seems , the meek and sweet natured hottie . She engages Jimmy's services for her boss , mobster Bhaiyyaji ( Anil Kapoor ) , who probably gets most of the laughs as he speaks broken English and phrases must like how an ah-beng does it . And to complete the quartet , Akshay Kumar plays Bachchan Pandey , an illiterate gangster for hire who got engaged by Bhaiyyaji to hunt down Jimmy and Pooja when they escape with money stolen from Bahiyyaji's business . So begins a road trip of sorts , with friends who turned enemies , and enemies whom you know will become friends as the road trip wears on . Jimmy Cliff is probably the most implausible of all , because he goes from zero to hero , executing moves that would shame Rambo , in absolutely no time , which is quite out of character . Kareena Kapoor amps up the sex factor as she uses her charms to guile both men , and has plenty of opportunity to do so given the much touted bikini scenes , and other costumes that boast of plunging necklines or hemlines way above the knee . Every character has a backstory created , and I thought Akshay Kumar's Bachchan Pandey was probably the best , the most touching and the most fun of the lot , even though his character seemed a lot like a non-green Incredible Hulk with his gravity-defying leaps and power packing punches . His wounds also heal automatically , which impressively puts Wolverine to shame . And the best part is his theme song , which is damn alpha-male and played in ra-ra mode each time he takes on adversaries . But sad to say , that's the only tune that is memorable , something that cheers " Bachchan - Pandey-Bachchan-Pandey " . For most Bollywood movies I watch , I will usually be able to , despite the obvious language gaps , emerge from screenings humming a tune or two . I wasn't able to do that after Tashan , because the songs unfortunately just weren't catchy at all . Usually the song / dance routine works well into the storyline without any necessity to bring the characters out of the current scene or location . That I enjoy , versus plucking them out and plonking them into extreme settings high atop a mountain , or atop jagged rocks on the beach front . Tashan probably didn't take itself too seriously , but coming from Vijay Krishna Acharya's story , you probably wanted something a little more decent rather than the ridiculous , and for continuity to be a little more careful as well . Billed as a blockbuster , now I can start to understand why the crowds have already shunned this one . Despite Akshay Kumr stealing the show , Tashan could have been better on the whole .
|
514,830 | 317,399 | 370,032 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Ultraviolet
|
I hate to say this , but Ultraviolet is this year's Elektra . It's a bad hybrid of Aeon Flux , Underworld , Resident Evil and Elektra combined using the production style of Sky Captain , shot against digitally created scenes . Not that it is bad though , I actually sincerely believed , from the trailer , that it had potential to be a really good Milla Jovovich vehicle . Sadly , I was quite disappointed . While Charlize Theron and Kate Beckinsale had ample opportunity to prove their action chops in skin tight Lycra in Aeon Flux and Underworld respectively , I thought Milla already had proved hers , in Resident Evil , and The Fifth Element . Here , she plays Violet , a vampire-ish humanoid with the really strange technologically enhanced prowess . Directed and written by Kurt Wimmer ( who actually did the cult hit Equilibrium ) , Ultraviolet takes what's currently the talk of the down - epidemic disease ( ala Resident Evil ) , which had mutated and infected humans , and after a number of hokey mambo jumbo , some humans become a race of Hemophage , aka humans with vampire-like abilities of stealth and such . Anyway don't bother yourself with the " science " behind this film , as it's sci-fi fantasy anyway . Just enough to know that Violet is on a quest against a dictator ( ala Aeon Flux ) , but circumstances turn her own against her when she decides to intervene and save a boy called Six . Six is this movie's Leeloo , a being who can cure Hemophages , or kill them , or kill Humans , or , what the heck ! Violet plays surrogate mom ( because of her past ) to Six , and the two form an pseudo-mother-son relationship , as she does battle against the authorities , and her kind . Just as you thought , from the trailers , that the action will be uber-stylish . There are a number of cool things , like Violet's clothing changing color like a chameleon to suit her environment , and her virtual-turn-real weapons with endless bullet rounds reloaded from the veins in her wrists , which you gotta see to believe . But here's where the problem is . She's indestructible , like a female Terminator who just keeps going . What put me off were the many fight scenes which just didn't happen . It's lazy , she's that good , but still ? You see one woman up against countless villains , and the next minute , they all fall down dead . Without seeing her move a muscle . what gives ? And there are dozens of " mega " fight scenes done in the same manner , which became laughable instead of cool , bordering on the absurd . What is unforgivable too is the finale fight scene , done 90 % in the dark . Yes , to prove a plot point and for some out of the ordinary action , but grr . . . Surprisingly , most of the effects were done by a China digital production team , which made me wonder why this was leaps and bounds ahead of The Promise in terms of effects . It's also a crew team mainly of Hong Kongers and Chinese , makes you wonder about the progress made in China though on film production . Slick effects , but let down by an ultra-weak plot , and cop-out action sequences . Just for those curious , this movie was shot using Sony's high-definition digicam , and coupled with the post-production , really made Milla's skin look absolutely fabulous and flawless in simulated soft focus . I think it's already a staple to have a shot of the actress's butt in skin tight Lycra , as did Aeon Flux , Underworld , and this movie too . But cool shots do not make a good movie , and an extremely bad plot makes it worse . Having bad action just makes it harder to swallow and digest . However , don't worry Milla , I still love you : - ) Cool Trailer + Hot Trailer Music = Awesome promotional material . And that's the only thing you should remember the movie by .
|
515,003 | 317,399 | 352,501 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : One Night Husband
|
Anyway the two movies presented were a hit and a miss , and One Night Husband turned out to be a bad miss . If many in the audience had their eyes closed at one point or another , or become fidgety in their seats , my opinion is that whatever is transpiring on screen , doesn't have enough of what it takes to hold an audience's attention . While the production value is good , it adopted the look and feel of an art movie about contemplation , isolation , and whatever that you would reckon the need for long silent moments . It begins with enough mystery to sustain anyone's attention - a newly wed couple consummating their marriage , except that after doing the deed , the groom walks out of the home after receiving an anonymous phone call . This leaves the bride Sipang ( Nicole Theriault , a Thai pop star ) perplexed , and she becomes anxious in finding out where her husband disappeared to after days of absence . However the movie seemed to junk this plot aside for a preference to dwell into her seeking of help from her brother in law Chat ( Pongpat Wachirabunjong ) and his wife Bussaba ( Siriyakorn Pukkavesh ) , and from hereon , the focus is on the friendship developed between the two women , and probably if it fell into directors who are seduced by the GLBT themes of late , the relationship will dwell deeper than the platonic level . While the loose ends do get tied , the journey is trying . Unless you're a serious art movie lover , you might find many scenes in the movie pretty contrived and probably trying too hard . Essentially , the entire story is short film material , bloated only to include beautifully filmed moments of the mundane .
|
515,430 | 317,399 | 991,246 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Life Can Be So Wonderful
|
This film is anything but wonderful . Consisting of five short films by Minorikawa Osamu , it's one of those pretentious flicks that try to pass itself off as art , and there's nothing worse than stringing together a series of short films with nary a common theme and passing it off as a feature film . Sure , there are the usual notions of loneliness , solitude , melancholy and the likes that it would like to pass off as , but sadly , neither is the individual shorts or the sum of the whole remotely good . The five shorts are also clumsily titled , and they are " Life can be so Wonderful " , " Bar Fly " , " Her Favourite Solitude " ( isn't that a tad too obvious ? ) , " Snusmumrik Liberty " and " Reasons to Live " . In most shorts , shots of nature and the natural environment are included ad nausem , trying nothing more than to make up for time . The stories are a bit of a yawn too - the first short tells of the struggles and exasperation of an aging nude model , the second an alcoholic man's passion for the bottle , the third features two lovers in bed talk ( and for a rare moment I thought the nudity was unnecessary ) , and the fourth tells the story of a pregnant woman and her lover ( Ryuhei Matsuda who did Nightmare Detective ) . Only the fifth contained some semblance of coherent story , but it was too little too late . The stories have nothing fresh to offer . Too many narrations , too many poetic quotations trying their very best to impress . But seriously , it tries too hard to connect with the audience . Or maybe perhaps it was so successful with the exploration of its themes , it managed to alienate itself from a regular audience . And those today can't wait to bolt for the door once the end credits start to roll . Only recommended if you want something uninspiring or badly shot to test your patience .
|
514,685 | 317,399 | 81,165 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : The Mystery of Oberwald
|
The Mystery of Oberwald is a made of television movie , done in video before being transferred to 35mm . As introduced by Lorenzo Codelli , this movie reunites actress Monica Vitti and director Michelangelo Antonioni since their last collaboration in Red Desert , some 17 years earlier . During this while , Vitti became a fairly successful comedic actress , while Antonioni was like a globetrotter having films made in the UK ( Blowup ) , US ( Zabriskie Point ) and having a documentary done in China about China on the invitation of the Chinese government of the time . The movie was shot for state broadcast television , which was appealing to filmmakers at that time because it was increasingly difficult to raise funds for theatrical feature films . And if Antonioni wanted to make a film to dabble with video technology , then perhaps he had achieved that goal . Technically it had employed many tricks of the trade through its cinematography and editing , but what strikes you most is the use of colours in the movie to accentuate mood of its characters , through various changes and transitions , with contrasting hues and tints used which dissolves every now and then . When used at the great outdoors , the generous shots of nature were given a life of its own , and in those terms , makes it a very beautiful film to gawk at . If only the story could match up to its technical strengths . Based on the play " L'Aigle a Deux Tetes " by Jean Cocteau , it's no wonder that the movie played out exactly like a stage play . To make things worse , the dialogue was excruciatingly painful to sit through , perhaps being a period piece , we have to make do with characters speaking in more elaborate terms and beating around the bush . It could be another case of having its nuances lost in translation , but if that's the case , then the subtitles really did the story no favour . The situations the story unfolded were rather unconvincing , and quite dry . Unfortunately too that Monica Vitti wasn't able to arrest you with the special x-factor that she possessed in the earlier Antonioni movies , and looked rather tired in her role as The Queen , who has rather queer habits . The story picked up early when a pursued Sebastian ( Franco Branciaroli ) ended up breaking into the castle at Oberwald to perform an assassination of the Queen , only to have fainted before carrying out his mission . The only saving grace for him , is his resemblance to the late King , and herein lies his ticket to get out with the Queen still nursing a longing , and takes a natural liking for Sebastian . In between an unlikely , unrealistic and unconvincing romance is thick politicking between the Queen and her enemies , chiefly the Archduchess whom we never see on screen . There's much talk about fate and destiny and the likes , but that's only when you can tolerate and get through Act One which happens to be mostly a monologue where the Queen rants to an unconscious Sebastian . Certainly The Mystery of Oberwald in my opinion is not one of Antonioni's best , nor does it come close to being something quite memorable . This movie currently ranks as my least favourite of all the Antonioni movies watched to date , and elevates my other Antonioni disappointments as masterpieces to be celebrated .
|
514,594 | 317,399 | 768,137 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : The Shoe Fairy
|
FOCUS : First Cuts is a series of films showcasing some of the works from up and coming Asian directors . Supported by Andy Lau's Focus Films , we'll be seeing a slew of 6 movies , the first being the Taiwanese movie The Shoe Fairy , starring Vivian Hsu and Duncan Lai , directed by first timer Robin Lee . The Shoe Fairy is a modern day fairy tale . One which isn't kind to its genre to begin with , highlighting the evil witch and wolf characters and their impending bloody demise in each tale . The Chinese title " Ren Yu Duo Duo " will already hint about the fairy tale from which this movie draws its inspiration from , with " Ren Yu " being mermaid ( in this context ) . Like the Little Mermaid , Dodo ( Hsu ) looks normal , except that she cannot use her legs . A miraculous operation allowed her to walk again , and slowly she develops an obsession with shoes . Loads of them . Girls would probably squeal at the variety of shoes on display in the movie , and I tell you it's a really wide range . Dodo felt that shoes are her first love , and wondered if shoes are indeed her happiness in life . Being weaned on fairy tales from young , it seemed that shoes are perfectly capable of providing her that happily ever after ending , until she meets Smiley , the dentist ( Lai ) . The movie becomes one of those saccharine sweet moments where boy woos girl , boy marries girl , then what ? Perhaps it has a deeper message in its arty-farty feel , but somehow that feeling did not come to me . Give me conflicts , which the movie does , but sidesteps it somewhat . We see how much one treasures something when one has it , and how one emotional spirals downwards when one loses it . I must say I didn't expect it to turn in that direction though , before resuming itself in the theme of hope . What didn't work for me was the usage of a narrator - Andy Lau . Sorry Andy , your narration's a bit difficult to follow , and I somewhat dislike movies with narration that explains the story - we can see the visuals you know ? Also , the strangely huge English and Chinese subtitles were so badly done - not aesthetically pleasing , and full of typos . Someone never did their homework ? While the visuals were stunning ( it did win a Golden Horse ward for Best Art Direction in 2005 ) , I felt the special effects quite cheesy , and the plot being a little weak . While it showed promise in its slow start , the second half was a torture to sit through , where it tried to develop the characters in too short a time left . This movie will probably appeal to hard core fans of Vivian Hsu , who probably haven't seen their idol on celluloid in a long time .
|
515,121 | 317,399 | 414,853 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Barnyard
|
Talking animals . Only in animation do you get away with having animals exhibit identifiable human traits , and speak like we do . Of late , with the success of many Disney and Pixar movies , this year alone we'll see a bumper crop of talking animals in animated flicks from successful ones like Over the Hedge , to complete flops like The Wild , and have in the wings , an Open Season Flushed Away with Happy Feet . And we have here , a George Orwell Animal Farm gone totally wrong . While the animals here exhibit similar traits as suggested in the literary classic - they hold regular town hall meetings , have a system of governance and work ethics , these animals prefer to walk on twos , and have cows leading the pack rather than pigs ( and the widely held belief that they are lazy ) . Best of all , they are the perennial party animals , in both sense of the description . They party all night long in the barnyard , transforming it to their discotheque , and strut around the farm on their hind legs when the farmer goes away . However , this movie is a lost sheep . The story doesn't have a clue to its direction , and because the plot is running around like a headless chicken , the movie , at best , is made up of disparate scenes jointed together rather haphazardly . It lacks a good story to tell , seemingly borrowing familiar elements from The Lion King , and even the weak idea from Chicken Little about the relationship between father and son - here between the Cows son Otis ( Kevin James from Hitch ) and Ben ( Sam Elliot ) , who heads the farm . Writer-Director Steve Oedekerk , who wrote the screenplay for comedies like Bruce Almighty and The Nutty Professor , seem to fall short of providing the laughs for the animals . The best bits are sadly all provided for in the movie's trailer with the animals ' gags on the human characters , and what's left in the movie are the less than powerful dramatic bits . Every sub theme or sub plot seem to be a quick hack job just to extend the run time , and doesn't add any depth to character or story . The only saving grace to the Barnyard is the perfect animation , which is pristine , crystal clear , and too polished for its own good , and somehow lacked heart and soul . It is one thing to have excellent art , but it seemed more of a cover for the lack of a sustainable engaging story . Watch it only if your kids bug you to bring them to the movie , especially since cutesy chick characters are used as bait . And oh , somehow watching cows strutting around on two legs and exposing their udders , seem kinda sick , and especially so when these cows are supposed to be bulls , and are mistaken by kids as " mother cows " . Great start for the young ones on gender bending .
|
515,499 | 317,399 | 362,120 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Scary Movie 4
|
I'm a fan of campy grossed out politically incorrect comedies , so films like Top Secret ! , Airplane , Hot Shots and Naked Gun , are right up my alley . For some strange reason , I never did watch any of the past Scary Movies , save for the bits shown in various trailers . And I'm sad to say that Scary Movie 4 , is unfortunately , not very funny . Sure , it contained the usual barrage of explicit toilet humour , sexual innuendos in the dialogue , and plenty of sight gags involving genitalia , but I guess too much of something will make you sick of it . And that's what happened with SM4 . The main leads of Tom Ryan ( Craig Bierko ) and Cindy Campbell ( Anna Faris ) find love despite having to separate because of the Tri-pod alien invasion . Each took a different path - Tom in keeping his family alive during the carnage , while Cindy has to undertake a mission to discover the truth behind the invasion , after being tipped off by a faux-speaking Japanese ghostly kid who can't walk backwards down a staircase . Doesn't make much sense , does it ? It doesn't matter actually , with comedies of this genre . But you got to admire the scriptwriters for almost seamlessly including the many references and scenes from so many thrillers and horror movies , and weave them all into one complete narrative , never mind if it doesn't make much sense at the end of the day . It's not easy collating the recognizable scenes , and piecing them together . The main bulk of references would have to come from Spielberg's War of the Worlds , Ju-On , Saw and The Village , just to name a few . Real life personalities were also not spared being buffooned , like Tom Cruise , Michael Jackson , Shaquille O'Neal and even George W Bush ( played by Zucker regular Leslie Nielsen ) . Maybe the franchise is running out of steam , or the references the movie pulled from were not very interesting as spoofing material to begin with . I wouldn't recommend this weak comedy , even though a Scary Movie 5 has been announced . Yikes .
|
514,572 | 317,399 | 465,494 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Hit-man
|
10 years ago , Philip Noyce directed a movie that was based on an adapted character . He put this character in Russia , and got him embroiled in some political intrigue that's way over his head and should not have involved him in the first place . Naturally , our anti-hero ( he's a professional thief by the way ) bites back , using skills he honed to perfection , and basically relying on his smarts to escape near misses . His charisma ensured he had a beauty with brains tagging along , albeit reluctantly but given no choice with her involvement in the scheme of things , before forging trust , and possible romance . His name ? Simon Templar , aka The Saint . Today , we have Xavier Gens taking a character , Agent 47 ( Timothy Olyphant ) based on an EDIOS game called The Hit-man , and scribe Skip Woods ' story has this best of the best ( they always have to be ) in St Petersburg to do what he does , and that's to carry out professional hit jobs at the direction of The Agency ( are you quivering now ? ) . He gets embroiled in a political conspiracy given his mark is a certain political figure , and has the Russian military , his own organization and Interpol ( led by Dougray Scott's Mike Whittier ) after his hide . Along the way , he saves Nika Boronina ( Olga Kurylenko ) a Russian call girl / sex slave from certain death , and in between finds himself in a very difficult romance . Notice the similarities ? It's The Saint all over again , except this time , Agent 47 resembles more of Jason Bourne , but without the hair , replaced by shiny baldness with a cartoony barcode tattooed at the back . He has a penchant for suits and trenchcoats , but only to hide his mean knives when he chooses to engage in more dignified battles . So unlike the suave Simon Templar , he opts for the obvious , and should have taken a leaf or two in styling and disguises from Templar , rather than walking around being the odd one out of a sea of hairy heads and a barcode that says " Hello World " . Anyway that's the character design from the game , so we can't complain about it can we , just as how Angelina Jolie had to have her ample assets enhanced to match Lara Croft's . But its similarity to Jason Bourne cannot be denied , in the way that both are professional assassins , and probably schooled in the same close quartered unarmed combat techniques , and the similarity even went down to how these action sequences were shot and edited - quick cuts , jerky hand held style . It's action set pieces turned out to be rather ordinary , probably because they are rehashes of some classical scenes that we've seen before in other movies . Like the shoot em up with machine guns , the shattering of pillars and plenty of blow em ups with a rock soundtrack blaring in the background that we've seen in the Matrix movies . Or how about " paying homage " to Hong Kong movies like Johnny To's Mexican standoffs in recent flicks like Mad Detective and Exiled , but done with less pizazz and the proceedings and outcome bordering on the ridiculous . Or how about close quartered fisticuffs done while crouching under a platform , ala Jet Li's Fong Sai-Yuk ? And how about a Saw's Jigsaw inspired moment to boot ? But truly the scene which took the cake , was one done in extremely bad taste . In referencing the tragic terrorist event in Russia where government forces used gas to literally put friend and foe to sleep before they stormed a theatre , this gets repeated here with cruel aplomb , and I thought it was quite insensitive of the filmmakers to do so , in the manner in which they did so . If you can put aside all these misgivings , then you'll probably find something remotely to enjoy with Hit-man . Agent 47 is bald Bourne , but he's not amnesiac , and having been brought up in an all male monastery , it wrecks havoc on his non-existent sex life , especially when Nika hits on him time and again , sans clothes . There are many sub plots and unnecessary scenes in this movie , but they remained so that this wouldn't turn out to be a short film , or feel part of the video game where you have absolutely no control over . Timothy Olyphant did a rather decent job as Agent 47 as the role calls for little emotion ( i . e . nothing to do except alternating between cool and mean ) with stuntmen making him look good . In fact , most characters were pretty one-dimensional , and Nika the call girl would have been every fan / geek boy's wet dream come true . If I should praise anything , then it should be the way villains are dispatched without the bullshit lapsing into monologues . Video game movies rarely are hits , and while Agent 47 never misses a target , I would classify this one under a huge misfire . The story's ho-hum , the action very familiar and mediocre with a lacklustre effort all around . And I'm sure to walk out next time if the male lead tells the hot chick " don't worry about finding me , I'll find you , no matter where in the world you can be " . Yeah right .
|
514,619 | 317,399 | 901,475 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : Breath
|
Of the limited number of Korean auteur Kim Ki-duk's movies , I have only seen a handful of them , and mostly they are the relatively contemporary movies , like The Bow , 3-Iron and Time . The feeling I got from them all is consistent - that it's not your usual storytelling , as he seemed more often than not to obscure any intended message , or meaning in his tales , much like searching for an Easter Egg , or worse , that needle in the haystack to get something out of it . If I can summarize his movies in a statement , then it'll be to expect something that's totally unexpected , though not necessary always in a good way . The main draw here for his 14th film , Breath , is Taiwanese actor Chang Chen . I was curious how Kim would be directing him in one of his movies , and as it turned out , because of the obvious language barrier , it's a convenient cop out to have his death row inmate Jang Jin ( even his character's name bears semblance to his own ) made a suicide manic , choosing to maim his voicebox so that there isn't a necessity to speak at all . Why he's in jail we're not sure , and in true Kim Ki-duk style , his inmate buddies who share the same cell , are not your ordinary gangster looking characters with big tattoos . While two of them are quite bland , there's an effeminate inmate who has a liking for Jang Jin , but gets time and again brushed aside when he demonstrates and emotes jealousy . Housewife Yeon ( played by Park Ji-ah ) discovers that her husband is cheating on her , and given the media attention on Jang Jin and his suicide attempts incessantly hitting the news , she decides to get back at her husband by striking a relationship with him , posing as an ex-girlfriend , and finding therapy in Uncle Jang . But before you say " boring " , what made her character a little bit impossible to believe is the lengths she'll go to just to spice up the visitor's session according to seasons , and of course , add some colour , life and song to a meandering dull movie . She does impossible feats of wallpapering , which I thought would be more credible it they weren't so well done . For half the movie , we see a one way street between Yeon and Jang Jin , she finding an outlet to vent her frustrations , while he finding it amusing to have a total stranger bring forth some fresh air , though artificial , injected into his imprisoned four walls . While there are of course issues of morality here that could be made for points of discussion , by the time the ending rolls around , these are indeed tossed out the window in double quick time . I suspect that 90 % of the 10 members of the audience were here because of the tantalizing poster of Chang Chen's mouth on boob ( the film has an M18 rating by the way ) , and it's not rocket science that the ah-peks were probably here for only one thing . But alas , that , it doesn't deliver , but what it does cement very surely , is that you'll never know what to expect from a Kim Ki-duk film , who becomes his own voyeur as he spies on the duo from the CCTV Cameras fed back to the confines of his security office . Unfortunately , Breath turns out to be a time waster , and you'll find yourself cheering at any moment that could have possibly breathed life into a dull movie . Perhaps art movie lovers out there could find some meaning if they look hard enough , but here , I'm calling out that the Emperor is naked .
|
514,512 | 317,399 | 455,857 | 4 |
A Nutshell Review : When a Stranger Calls
|
When a Stranger Calls belongs to the group of this year's remakes , with movies like Poseidon just over the horizon . Director Simon West ( Con Air ) helms this updated version , with plenty of relative unknown casts , which signals either the death rate is high ( it isn't ) , or that established stars are steering clear from a potential turkey . Clocking in at a relatively short 87 minutes , it's primarily made up of two acts . The first , which takes a full one hour , is the setup . Our heroine , Jill Johnson ( Camilla Belle ) , chalked up 800 minutes of talk time on her mobile phone ( do the math ) , and as a lesson in responsibility , her parents had confiscated her mobile and grounded her . To pay off her debt , she works part time as a babysitter , and looking after the wealthy Mandrakis ' kids , is her first stint . The huge Mandrakis mansion gets a full tour treatment , as it is where all the action will take place . Plenty of rooms ( makes for good hiding ) , an indoor pool sized aquarium-pond ( to get wet in , for the wet T-shirt treatment ) , and check this out - motion detector lights , which you just know will contribute to the scares with the manipulation of lights and shadows . Naturally , prank calls , red herrings are aplenty , which chalks up this act's runtime , but most of them fall flat in the suspense department . There's a minor trend emerging , with actors being the unseen , providing and acting through their voice instead . Recent attempts include Edward Norton in Kingdom of Heaven , and Hugo Weaving's V for Vendetta . Here , Lance Henriksen does the honours for the anonymous , nameless psychotic killer , but it just falls flat . Why ? The script doesn't give him much dialogue . Most of the phone calls made were of the silent ( mind-masturbatory ) nature , which I felt was a waste - they could have also casted some unknown instead , and the job will still get done . The second act , where the main action takes place , is too little too late . And the bogeyman , well , is purely a bogeyman . Those expecting blood and gore will be disappointed , as basically it's a one - woman show to hold your attention in the first hour ( eye candies always succeed ) , and this act will have her resolve everything in double quick time , ala Rachel McAdams in Red Eye . Don't expect any form of character development , nor subplots that will engage . The ending tried to be too smart for its own good , and came across as a cheap way to end the movie . There's not much of goodness to highlight from this movie - no scares , no thrills , no enigmatic villain , and plenty of security flaws , especially with that door alarm - the only thing it's good for , is to provide a number for 4D .
|
515,208 | 317,399 | 386,504 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Haven
|
It all boiled down to one Friday the 13th night . Haven takes place in the Cayman Islands , paradise on Earth , with beautiful beaches , friendly people , and of course , being the ideal place to stash cash , ill gotten or otherwise , free from taxation . In its seedier side , to paraphrase from another movie , weed is the currency , openly passed around in nacho chip bags . This movie ditches the idyllic moments , to peer beneath the veneer , of hell on Earth instead . I like movies which have many characters , each with their own objectives , but being led by unseen forces as they relate to one another , and events bring them to within striking distance . They might belong to distinct story arcs , but given the geographical proximity , their lives , their decisions and the consequences all become intertwined . There are three clear arcs in the movie , but the characters involved flit seamlessly from one arc to the next . You have the corrupt businessmen looking to escape the law at Miami , an affair , a daughter who hooks up with drugs and the wrong company , a sly thief of sorts , two star crossed lovers , a hot headed brother , good friends , and gangsters . On its own , they could be short stories . But when narrative style takes on the fragmented , non linear approach to spice and disguise an ordinary story , that's what you get in Frank E . Flowers ' Haven . Perhaps what will put bums in seats is the presence of Orlando Bloom , though the M18 rating would have restricted his girly groupie fans here from seeing their cinematic idol on screen in a role which is similar to what Tom Cruise did in Vanilla Sky , sort of . He plays the role of the Romeo in the star-crossed lovers arc , as Shy , son of a fisherman , still figuring out the meaning to his life , and having a lack of ambition which worries his girlfriend Andrea ( Zoe Saldana ) . Parental disapproval gets into play , and the rest is a spiral downwards for both lovers and their relationship . Some say Bloom's role is intense , but there isn't enough room for his character to justify that . And sadly , that was just about the better story amongst the three . In reality , all three could have been extremely short , as the scenes , though intercut with each other and had some overlapping moments , don't really contribute much to the characters or stories . You could have cut off half the fat , and still the story would hold water . One saving grace would be the score and soundtrack though , accentuating the illusion of paradise . But this is not to say Haven's a really bad movie . It just had enough story elements to cruise along in auto-pilot , and in the process offer nothing groundbreaking stylistically , or earth shattering in having any twists and turns to the plot . Breaking up and juxtaposing a linear plot does not disguise the fact that it inherently needs a lot more oomph .
|
515,526 | 317,399 | 453,383 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : ( SIFF ) Next Door
|
So you've just broken up with your girlfriend and she has moved out of your flat . Your life is miserable , and you're now all alone . But wait , suddenly you realize that your neighbours are a pair of hot chicks , you're strangely attracted to them , and they're giving you the come-hithers . What do you do ? John's in such a predicament . His girlfriend Ingrid has left him for another guy , Ake . Depressed , he chances upon his beautiful neighbours Anne and Kim , neighbours he never knew existed , but neighbours who know exactly what has transpired between him and Ingrid , through wafer thin walls . John feels uneasy at the sudden discovery of his lack of privacy , exposing himself to strangers who know about his private life in detail . The questions now are , who are they , and what do they want ? A seemingly innocent request to help look after Kim , turned out to be one mind-game after another . The statements and stories Anne and Kim tell seem to cancel out each other , and leaves our protagonist totally lost and suspicious . But before you know it , the much touted S & M scene starts , and I pretty much guess that most would have felt that it was a little too brutal , with the bare-knuckle punches and bitch slaps smack right into the face of both love makers . Painful I tell ya . It's a psychological thriller , made appealing by a well-cut trailer . However , the movie was rather slow to develop , but picked up the pace much later and never let up right until the end . Then , your reaction will most likely be , " WTF ! " It's a pretty simple storyline packed into 75 minutes involving all the characters , in one totally whacked out plot . Don't buy into the hype .
|
515,017 | 317,399 | 93,215 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : ( DVD ) Hot Pursuit ( 1987 )
|
After a hiatus of weeks , I'm back with scouring the library for more John Cusack movies . Hot Pursuit is one of his earliest movies , even earlier than the previously reviewed Say Anything . Here , he plays a teenager whose Chemistry exam stands in the way of spending a Caribbean holiday with his girlfriend and her family . However , his professor turns a blind eye to his flunking of the exam and the need for remedial lessons , and Cusack has to pursue his girl and her family as they had already set off without him . It's a decent comedy as he gets into situations like missing planes , spending the night with ganja-smoking Caribbeans , getting entangled with a pirate of sorts , and so on . And it all boils down to his ability to be able to save his girl and her family when they become victims of some thugs who take over their yacht . Fans of Ben Stiller would also want to watch this for one of Stiller's early performances on screen , and a villain at that . He doesn't have much lines , and neither are they funny though . Like most teen romance comedies of the 80s , it's pretty predictable stuff , and plays like a teenage boy's fantasy of how a holiday could probably turn out , and becoming the hero who saves the day . Suitable for those boring weekends which you want to waste away . Barebones Code 1 DVD containing no extras .
|
514,388 | 317,399 | 462,501 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Real : The Movie
|
Goal ! probably gave football fans a reason to cheer that there is finally a movie worthy of the sport , never-mind the teams that were featured in it . It got the right moments of excitement , joy , trials and tribulations that most football fans could identify with in players and their clubs . However , Real : The Movie takes the genre two steps backwards , even though you know it's like a congratulatory pat on the back of the club itself . Partly produced by Real Madrid CF , Real attempts to weave fictional narratives into a plot which glorifies its players ( not that it does a good job anyway ) , and also to point to the fact that it is the most successful , recognizable football club in the world , with fans all over the place , able to connect with one another through the club's sporting ambitions . The first narrative is that of a school teacher who arrived in Madrid , and staying a stone's throw away from the revered 80 , 000 seater Santiago Bernabéu stadium . He's like the chorus , trying to sniff out the reasons why Real Madrid permeates through the life of the city , and are worshiped by crazed fans . Then there's Tokyo , which is hot on the heels of Beckham-mania , with the story putting focus on the relationship between a teenage couple interrupted by the girl's fixation on Beckham . Relatively short , and not much meaning to it . If you dislike Beckham , you'll probably puke at the various shots of his mug up-close . Speaking of Beckham , there is a narrative thread which copies Bend It Like Beckham , having feature a teenage female footballer from New York . We follow the story of Megan , a hotshot footballer who suffers a career-threatening injury . The reason why this plot line is included , is to tie it into Ronaldo's comeback from injury . But the execution is weak , and we see probably the worst piece of acting from an eye-candy . Perhaps the best story is that set in Senegal . We see up-close how remote villagers experience the events of a football game , by having the dad travel on foot for a total of 4 days , round trip , to watch the game on television , and return to the village to recount everything he saw to wide-eyed children . This is perhaps the most heartwarming of it all , one which demonstrates a father's love for his child . And on a similar premise , and the weakest , is that set in a Venezulean town , about a young boy and a strange old man who happens to be quite a footballer himself . At the end of the day , it's nothing much except for a community sitting down together , supporting different teams , one camp Real Madrid , the other camp Barcelona . With of course , the expected build up to the huge game of the movie , that of arch-rivals Barcelona of course . However , this is no Goal ! with fictional figures inserted into the game . Rather , it's like watching a re-run of the season 04-05 game on a large screen , with dramatic moments only , which they won ( naturally ) 4-2 . The separate narratives are , well , separate . Which makes it seem like little short stories stuck together . Though there are some redeeming features , like the little nugget of facts done Hitchhiker's style , and a behind-the-scenes look at how the large club prepares itself for games with its meticulous planning . For those who have not been to the stadium , we're also granted a sneak peak into the high tech locale , but unlike Goal ! , we didn't see the entire dressing room . In case you're wondering if this review is biased as I'm an Arsenal fan , no . If you don't believe me , don't tell me that you've wasted time and money watching this . If anything , this movie is suitable only for Real Madrid fans only , not football fans in general . And for that , I'd wish the Gunners win the home and away legs of the Champions League against the Galacticos come Feb / March . Go Gunners ! And hang in there for the sequel to Goal ! set in erm , Real Madrid .
|
515,273 | 317,399 | 1,159,502 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : The Black Swindler
|
I guess not only Hollywood is keeping an eye for potential comic book series or graphic novels to turn into movies , and for Japan , this had already been something ongoing given its rich manga culture with immense material to tap upon , with the latest and most popular here being the Death Note movies which had even spawned its own movie spin off L : Change The World , albeit to varying result . And the rule of thumb of course is to snag a heartthrob in your leading role , and you more or less have it made . In today's screening , Tomohisa Tamashita's popularity in the titular role got measured by the audible shrieks and wistful sighs each time he comes on screen , even in the nerdiest of disguises . Tomohisa Yamashita plays Kurosaki , a man whose family was destroyed by swindlers , hence his deep hatred for the group . He follows in the steps of Bruce Wayne , though more focused in his vigilantism , targeting only con artists in a bid to do his own Robin Hood work , conning them back and reimbursing the respective victims . There are various categories of conmen , such as white for those out for riches , red for those out to steal hearts , and black for those who con other con artists . For someone who hasn't read the manga , or followed the television series , this movie was quite a challenge for me to follow . Granted there was an origin flashback worked into it , but it served to confuse the current entanglement with its chief villain Ishigaki Tetsu , played by Naoto Takenaka , whom most will recognize as the sensei character in Waterboys or Swing Girls . Being a standalone movie , it tells of the despicable acts that Ishigaki commits , in creating bankruptcy fraud , and how Kurosaki has him set in his sights for some black swindling , with a hunter after an extremely cunning prey . Those without background knowledge will find adequate scenes in which a lot of questions will be asked . For starters , almost all the female characters here were treated second class , and not enough , despite its slightly more than 2 hours runtime , being focused on them . They come and go , and frankly speaking , could be done without as they don't hurt the plot an iota . Next , and I'm guessing here , is the love-hate relationship that Kurosaki has for his informer / con-master Katsuragi . While they exchange frequent notes on Shakespeare's Julius Caesar , it's hardly linked to , nor presents itself as a proper metaphor on the issue of trust which they're harping on , either that or the essence of it got lost in translation . Scenes such as those mentioned , which require a lot more background knowledge , tend to overindulge themselves , hence alienating severely first time visitors to The Black Swindler's role . Some like Bayside Shakedown obviously makes it easy for non-fans / series followers to grasp and enjoy the ride , but The Black Swindler seems to have stamped itself strictly for those in the know only ( or fans of Tomohisa Tamashita ) . Unless of course we decide to pick up the pieces from the established television series .
|
514,640 | 317,399 | 891,511 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Mission Sex Control
|
First of all , let's get our minds out of the gutter . The title already provided you a clue with the keyword here being " Control " , meaning this is no free-wheeling " mission sex " comedy with expectations of copulation being put in the spotlight . Rather , this turns out to be educational ( for a while ) and comedic in playing on misconceptions , before turning the wheel to become an all out melodramatic movie . Set in 1970s Korea , the government finds it worrying that the country will not be able to sustain itself should a population explosion not be brought under control ( the keyword again ) . Similar to our 70s-80s concept of stopping at 2 , the Korean government embarks on a nationwide drive to promote the use of contraception and birth control policies to keep its population growth in check , and finds that with most of the folks being rural ones without access to the mass media , they have to send their civil servants to the ground in an all out educational bid to win over hearts and minds . Enter Ms Park ( played by Kim Jeong-eun ) , who is assigned a village of her own to educate . Not being warmly received , she soon struggles to realize that it takes a lot more than just condoms and brochures . In rural areas , the villagers have traditional mindsets , what with ancestor piety , the necessity of boys to carry on the lineage ( and therefore to try until you have a male heir , and why stop at one anyway ) , and of course , having more than enough hands to till the land . She wins few followers , but soon with the help of hardworking Suk-Gu ( Lee Beom-soo , last seen in My Wife is a Gangster 3 ) , she uses her powers to promote him to village chief , and hence , getting a boost to pushing the policy in place . The comedy comes as expected , with education sessions gone awry with the hands on ( literally ) teaching on the usage of condoms , as well as birth control pills . Sometimes the movie comes across as a mouthpiece for complains , as we get to hear more grumblings from the villagers about their plight and challenges faced to conform to instructions . And before you know it , it goes on track for some terribly melodramatic moments , involving a suspect extra-marital affair , vasectomy for cash , love for family versus the get rich quick schemes of subscribing to family policies , and the likes . With an ensemble cast made up of the numerous villagers , there are ample opportunity for antics by the simple folks , and the villain ( of sorts ) to provide very vocal opposition , lies in the deposed village chief and his son , who is under pressure with his wife to produce a male heir . Those who have seen Lee Beom-soo in action before , will know that this guy can do comedy with his comic timing , and his average looks ( at least on screen ) help to connect us with him . While stoic on the outside , he is one big softie with a big heart , ever looking for ways to enrich himself , not to spend on his own , but to provide for his family . Kim Jeong-eun on the other hand , looks very much the helpless civil servant who at first gets cowered by the difficulties in engaging the villagers , but grow from strength to strength as the story progressed . One thing I find it amazing though , is how her eyes can become deep wells to hold the massive amount of tears within , like a manga doll . Mission Sex Control is not about sex , but the importance of birth control and contraception . It does get overly long in its delivery with plenty of subplots presented , so thank goodness it does have some comedy thrown in at least for the first half , even if it's not genuinely funny , to remind us that it shouldn't be taken so seriously , despite the message it got to preach .
|
514,429 | 317,399 | 462,519 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : School for Scoundrels
|
So you're a pushover , lack guts to go after the one you love , and rely on stacks of self-help books to tide you over your pathetic life . Wake up ! Genuine help is on the way ! Be a lion ! Get what you want ! Welcome to the School for Scoundrels ! OK , I think I sounded a little too enthusiastic for this movie , but that's basically the premise of this remake . Yes , it's another remake from Hollywood , and it's no surprise that this one just coasts along on material that seem a little uninspiring and with a premise only all too familiar - the usual loser needs lessons to hook up with hot babe story , with a twist . Jon Heder ( Napoleon Dynamite , The Benchwarmers ) stars as Roger , who's a complete loser in a dead end job , relies on books to instruct him on life's lessons , and has the hots for his neighbour , Amanda ( Jacinda Barrett , last seen in The Last Kiss ) . However , being innately shy , he lacked the guts to pursue her , until he signs up for an ultra secret course called the School for Scoundrels , led by Dr P ( Billy Bob Thornton ) and burly henchmen Lesher ( Michael Clarke Duncan ) . Naturally , the crux of the jokes are from the lessons derived from Dr P's unorthodox teaching methods , for these shy students to graduate into slick operators , and there are a few genuine laugh out loud moments ( like the reference on the babies ) . However , most of the jokes relied on sexual innuendoes and slapstick , which have been tried and tested before , coming across as familiar rather than ground breaking funny . If you have seen a lot of comedies of such nature , then you'll find it difficult to have your funny bone genuinely tickled . Directed by Todd Phillips , who also helmed comedies like Road Trip and Starsky & Hutch , despite its shortcomings on the laughter front , I thought it was relatively well paced , with drama , comedy and enough tension rolled into one . You'll more or less guess the outcome of the story , but trust me , I did get fooled , well , almost . Jon Heder , as always , is effective as the Loser , while Billy Bob Thornton probably lived up to his real life notoriety in this role as the teacher up to no good . School for Scoundrels worked by using a sprinkling of gems along the way , so pay attention to that little dig on Angelina Jolie , and that appearance by Ben Stiller . Yes , that's him ! But no , even having probably Hollywood's # 1 funny man of the moment , failed to lift this movie from mediocrity and familiarity .
|
515,167 | 317,399 | 382,628 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Dark Water
|
I've haven't been much of a fan of the recent wave of popular Asian horror films , and haven't really paid much attention to the Hollywood remakes either . That is until Jennifer Connelly compelled me to take a dip into Dark Water . Connelly stars as Dahlia , who's in a custody battle with her estranged husband ( Dougray Scott ) for their daughter Cecilia ( Ariel Gade ) . Mother and daughter settle for a new run-down apartment , and experience strange leaks from the unit above . However , nobody occupies that unit , and soon Dahlia is drawn into the mysterious disappearance of its occupants . At times , this movie plays like the recent Robert DeNiro-Dakota Fanning movie Hide and Seek , with little subplots like imaginary friends , and the parent having some psychological problems . However , these subplots are never fully explored , leading to an ending which somehow leaves you with this empty feeling that more could and should have been touched on . Obviously , there are red-herrings thrown in , but there is absolutely no scary moment in which you'll jump right off your seat . This film though , is all about Mother's Love , and the longing for it . Many scenes in the movie make you go awww , drawing into your own experience of your mummy's concern for your welfare . The things that a mother would do to protect her child and keep her safe from harm , are always admirable . There are notable actors in this movie - John C Reilly , Tim Roth , Dougray Scott , Pete Postlethwaite , but they are relatively under-utilized , which is a pity . There is also a lack of a strong soundtrack to punctuate the right atmosphere in a horror movie . Since I haven't watched the original , I couldn't compare it for you . However , as a horror film , Dark Water didn't cut it , as it seemed more like a thriller / whodunnit / mystery with some mild supernatural elements thrown in . Perhaps it's just me , but perhaps Hollywood still doesn't have a knack in transplanting or capturing horrific elements from the original .
|
514,465 | 317,399 | 78,121 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : ( DVD ) The Proud Youth ( 1978 )
|
As mentioned in my earlier review of Swordsman , it isn't easy condensing plot elements from Louis Cha's richly textured martial arts novels for the big screen . In The Proud Youth ( bad title by the way ) , somehow it managed to do so , given a screenplay written by Ni Kwang , but it's ultra summarized , with zero room for character development , and scenes which don't seem to flow smoothly from one to the other , resulting in episodic treatment of sub plot development . But the most unforgivable thing done to it , was complete name changes to almost 90 % of the characters . Gone are Linghu Chong , Renwo Xing , Dong Fang Bu Bai etc , and in place were some generic names like Gongsun Song for Linghu Chong ! My guess was that given the summarized nature , having the actual names will do no justice to the original source material . So the next best thing would be to change the names , while retaining certain character traits that will allow them to be distinguished and mapped back to the original . It's a pity though , while the names of the 5 sword sects are kept , the ultimate swordplay technique had to undergo a complete , unnecessary revamp of title and style , which made it look like a very lame , generic martial arts move , with totally different origins . Fans of Du Gu Jiu Jian , I'm sorry but you won't get to see it demonstrated here . The fight scenes are reminiscent of styles of old though , with the heavy reliance of " ketchup " as a substitute for fake blood . While the fights look interesting , at times they turn out to be quite clumsy , with its special effects being shoddily done ( yes , I'm aware it's the 70s ) , and camera angles being out of position , and revealed quite clearly that swords were flimsy cardboard , and driven into the sides of bodies only . There are familiar plots like the introduction / battle with Dong Fang , the book Kui Hua Bao Dian requiring the practitioner to castrate himself , the rescue of Ren Wo Xing , the driving out of Linghu Chong from Hua Shan sect , and his learning of the Du Gu Jiu Jian , the musical number consisting of the flute and zither , and on hindsight , it's pretty amazing how all these were squeezed into 90 minutes . I was surprised at the exposure of a boob though , and in slow motion some more . And that was in 1978 , for a martial arts movie some more ! This is no Xiao Ao Jiang Hu . In name only , but definitely not in spirit . Please give this a miss , and proceed to the version starring Sam Hui . Code 3 DVD contains very limited special features . There are a few production and movie stills , one original poster , a one page one paragraph worth of production notes , the theatrical trailer and other trailers of the same genre , and a very short cast and crew biography . No qualms about the transfer , and traditional Chinese and English subtitles are available over a Chinese language soundtrack .
|
515,239 | 317,399 | 444,682 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : The Reaping
|
Watching two Hilary Swank movies back to back , I thought it presented a good opportunity to see how the same actress tackles different roles , one a dramatic piece about life's lessons , and the other this , The Reaping , taking on some supernatural forces , although she almost started this movie in a lecture hall premise . I don't exactly label The Reaping as horror , because it doesn't have a single scene that can truly scare anyone , unless of course your heart's weaker than a chicken's . The structure is akin to Silent Hill , only that The Reaping is not adapted from a video game . But unlike Hill , this movie is pretty compact in its pacing , and doesn't drag scenes for too long to create atmospheric mood like its peer . Instead , if compared to Silent Hill , this is one Noisy Swamp . Hilary Swank plays a researcher who specializes in debunking biblical sightings and miracles by using science to demystify such phenomena . Listening to her rip the miracles and happenings apart however , was fun , nevermind if it sounded logical or not , since it's Swank , who managed to make the unbelievable , believable in the movie . But that's not to say that she did a fantastic job here , in a role that's largely wasted . If you want to see her act , check out Freedom Writers instead . But I digress . The Reaping's Dana Scully and Fox Mulder equivalents go into investigating a series of bizarre biblical occurrence , the Ten Biblical Plagues , ranging from the blood waters , attacking locusts right down to the last one - the death of every first born . Some may not like the hokey plot taking advantage of God's wrath on man , but as the movie turned out , it's nothing more than a special effects extravaganza , with the religious fervour added to the background and contributing some semblance for a plot to work . It's hip these days to have demonic children as part of the ensemble , and The Reaping has this mysterious girl who seemingly is the cause of God's Wrath . Or is it ? There's a little mystery to solve , with a couple of twists at the end , in a tale about the devil and avenging angels . And while the end does wrap things up , it leaves room for a possible sequel , should the movie do well at the box office . The only redeeming grace from the uninspiring , unscary story , is the special effects . Nothing more , nothing less , and nothing to scare your socks off , despite what the trailer and posters suggest .
|
515,506 | 317,399 | 466,909 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : The Omen
|
The remake of The Omen will mark a triple grand slam of horror movies I watched in a row ( which is so rare ) , with Slither and Silent Hill making up the other two . From one demonic kid in the latter movie , to Damien , one of the earlier demonic kids in cinematic history , this remake , like most remakes , will make you wonder , just what is the point ? Director John Moore ( watched his remake of Flight of the Phoenix , and Behind Enemy Lines ) has crafted it scene for scene , but of course with the usual updates made in setting and the props department . The story plays on this year's calendar with 6th June 2006 ( 6 . 6 . 06 ) being extremely attractive for such a film to open , with the triple 6s the number of the devilish beast . And I guess most Singaporeans will still fall for any horror movie hook line and sinker , as many evening screenings on that day , were completely sold out . Mental note to self - horror films should make money here . As the hokey prophecy goes ( hokey because the film forces relatively current events to fit the trumpeting angels of Revelations ) , the son of Satan will make his appearance of Earth , and spell the end of mankind . Sounds boring , doesn't it , especially since John Constantine already had a field day bitch-slapping Son of Satan back to hell , and showing the devil the middle finger while at it too . Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles star as the Thorns , parents to Damien , son of Satan , born from a jackal . An ambassador , Robert ( Schreiber ) makes an illegal pack with a priest ( never trust false prophets I tell you ) , and innocently raises Damien as his own . As our boy grows up , strange happenings start to occur , starting with the happy self-hanging of their nanny . Pete Postlethwaite stars as Father Brennan , who takes it upon himself to warn Robert of dire consequences , and the need to rid Damien soonest possible . But things aren't easy , especially with a new nanny Mrs Baylock ( Mia Farrow , in quite chilling a role ) , being the new surrogate guardian of her hellish master . Just how terrifying is this remake of The Omen ? By today's standards , and given the remake , it is a piece of chicken feed . It's not scary , and the death scenes are so Final Destination-ishly bad , they make the deaths in Final Destination look like instant classics . The body count is not high as well ( maybe Damien needs to grow his powers first ) , and we're only offered 3 " grandeur " deaths in the whole movie . And it's always sad for a horror movie to have to rely on cheap scares to try and frighten the audience . And what more , in dream sequences too , with quick cuts , and loud crescendos . Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick probably is the child actor with the easiest role to date , and all it requires is of him to act like he's constipated all the time . Not very challenging to stretch his acting chops , but then again , the rest of the cast all had it easy too . The version shown in local theatres is the edited version , with some noticeable " censored " bits glaringly missing . So if you prefer your gore in its complete glory , then you might reconsider . Then again , you might be better off with the original .
|
515,144 | 317,399 | 1,379,169 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : LOV
|
After the phenomenal box office success of Cape No . 7 , it sure didn't take long for leads Van Fan and Tanaka Chie to be starring in the same movie again , albeit not exactly opposite each other , because L-O-V-E . is an anthology of four short films by directors Chen Yi-xian , Vincent Fang , Huang Tzi-chiao , and Jiu Ba Dao , who each were at the helm of their own stories , delivering their own brand of what it means to be in love . It's perhaps a no-brainer at who the target audience is for this film , having to stuff all the stories with great looking leads , and stories ranging from the saccharine sweet to the brooding and longing , each being tuned to appeal to a spectrum of the audience lured in via the eye candy . If I may I'll break it down for you : The first story takes a huge leaf out of P . S . I Love You in the setting of its premise . It offers a non-linear narrative to tell a love story with leads Van Fan and Megan Lai , a couple who celebrates their 7th anniversary together by . . . having a lightsabre fight . And the perennial terminal illness has to kick in , thereby setting this film up for the tried and tested , and very much like going through an episode of some chicken soup for the soul . The second was something straight out of a Taiwan melodramatic television serial , which actually started off really well with its theme on memories and how they become treasure when shared between two lovers . Put together a singer-photographer ( Lens ) , a gorgeous and out of place looking museum curator ( Annie Liu ) with a knack for all things old , a hotshot director ( Blue Lan ) who flares easily when the curator and the singer get intimate in a shooting of a music video . It's a melting pot for emotions to grow into a love triangle , until the very expected twist in the end comes charging in . Convenience here is the key . Somehow I liked the third one best , even if it really tested one's patience with its relatively long takes of silence . It's about forgiveness , and what matters most , and we see a couple not exactly on talking terms , parting with some animosity after failure to resolve their issues . You can say the pride of a man would sometimes get us into such unnecessary trouble as we hear how his heart echos what he really feels like doing , but without the physical will to swallow his ego . It's draped with plenty of brooding qualities , before building up to an emotionally charged finale , again relying on clichés like the big chase against time to seal everything up with a kiss . Stars Ethan Ruan and Alice Tzeng . The last film is easily the crowd favourite , judging from the audience's enthusiastic response to the multiple cameo appearances of their teen idols . From Alec Su to Chen Bo-lin and a slew of effeminate looking pop idols ( yeah , I can hear the flak I'm getting already ) , it allowed for plenty of physical comedy with a nerdy looking Tracy Chou playing a desperate woman out looking for her true love , relying on some cheesy self-help video to tell her love fortune , as she rejects one after another on her quest set out for her . You'll probably be laughing along and at the way this film gets constructed , as it brings back some memories of Hong Kong's " mo-lei-tau " ( nonsensical ) era . The earlier films had plenty of narration going on for them , that they looked at ease with a typical Wong Kar Wai movie if put side by side . However , the 4th film is so vastly different that it actually sticks out like a sore thumb , though it was one that was the most fun because of its zaniness , and its deliberateness in hamming everything up just for laughs . Suffice to say this is also the crowd's favourite , especially after the melancholic third film . L-O-V-E . is simply a short film collection of some of the hottest teen idol stars from contemporary Taiwan . If the filmmakers could've found more peers and distilled their shorts to just their essence , they could've come up with the Taiwanese version of Paris Je Taime . Unfortunately the stories didn't veer from the tried and tested models , and preferred to just coast along plainly , resulting in just an average show on the greatest emotion in which we call love .
|
515,283 | 317,399 | 808,331 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Joshua
|
There are kids who are adorable , and kids who just gets on your nerve . Joshua gets filed under the latter , with a creepy look to boot . No offense to child actor Jacob Kogan who gets the titular role , but when he's brooding with that psychotic glint in the eye , you just want to throw him into a cage and toss the key out of the window . But this demonic kid pales in comparison to The Omen's Damien , although both will score high marks for their diabolical scheming mind . The latter is the devil incarnate , but Joshua turns out to be your atypical child who feels threatened by the coming of a new born sibling . You know , the jealous rage that permeates as they perceive the lack of attention and love bestowed upon them . Dad Brad Cairn ( Sam Rockwell ) used to be his best buddy , but Joshua feels that his own lack of athleticism might be that barrier between them , and given his personal preference for the arts like the fondness for dark musical pieces on his piano . Mom Abby ( Vera Farmiga ) on the other hand , turns out to be a nervous wreck , which works to Joshua's advantage in pushing the right buttons . It's revenge of the neglected kid basically . The movie tried to be creepy with the employment of usual shock tactics seen in most horror movies , and they do feel a little out of place here , especially when it tries to position itself as a psychological thriller . It's nothing very cerebral about it , and for the most parts , its extremely slow pace brings about a sense of frustration , especially when plot loopholes , or irrational character behaviour that you'd come not to expect , gets so blatantly glossed over , thinking that audiences are idiots . You can't help but to feel that the story development was too contrived as incidents happen too conveniently , with nary any actual resolution except toward the inevitable ending . There's nothing chilling about it , except that you now realize that smart kids do become a nightmare when they put their noodle to the test of outwitting , outplaying and outlasting their parents . Perhaps the only saving grace here is Sam Rockwell's performance as the dad who's trying to figure everything out , and at the same time protecting the new offspring from the clutches of her now demented brother . But seriously , all Joshua requires is a good long drawn spanking from the slipper , out of the public view of course .
|
514,691 | 317,399 | 400,717 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Open Season
|
OK , this year alone probably saw a record number of talking animal animations , with countless of punchlines filled with pop culture references , and big name stars attached to the projects , that it's about time we give the genre a good break , rather than churning them out continuously with more misses than hits . And Open Season , probably the last one on offer this year from a Hollywood studio , suffers from this glut , unfortunately . Heck , with so much similarities between the movies , you can even spot a familiarity or two from the story lines , taking a a leaf from one of the earlier flop - The Wild , in having one of its stars here , part of a popular animal attraction , and another part from Over The Hedge , where a group of animals must band together for survival and a fight against adversity . The leads for Open Season are a domesticated grizzly bear who has its own teddy bear soft toy ( don't ask ) , and a mule-deer with one half of its horn sawn off . An unlikely pairing , a " loser and a loserer " , voiced by Martin Lawrence and Ashton Kutcher respectively . It's strange that there's a reversal of voice roles here , as Lawrence's Boog the Bear is uptight , while Kutcher's Elliot the deer is built in the same old wise cracking mould as Eddie Murphy's Mushu in Mulan , or Donkey in Shrek . In other words , Boog frequently gets punk'd by Elliot . It's one of those recycled plots about loneliness , and having two misfits finding themselves in each other , relying on strengths from the other party in order to survive in new environments . A misadventure sees Boog go back to the wild , with Elliot in tow , and the two have to find a way to get back to civilization where Boog belongs . Along the way they encounter other critters in the woods of course , paving the way for some comedy and more recycled themes of bullies and the likes . Don't believe the trailers though , as the war between animals and humans , doesn't take up much screen time . The sad part though , is that there aren't many funny moments to distract you from the rehashed story lines and subplots , but then again , it's a made for children movie . As always , there are some of the weaker characters which get used as punching bags , and here , this role belonged to the mindless rabbits , which some might find irritatingly adorable . My vote however goes to the nasty Irish-accented squirrels , defenders of their pine trees with their nuts , and in second place , those insane beavers . At least the animals don't break out singing songs every now and then , though there are some nice musical numbers that went along with the movie . But all in all , this movie isn't as entertaining as , say , Over The Hedge , and neither is it as bad as The Wild . But don't say I didn't warn you if you find this a tad too boring . Wait for the DVD , and rent it . Oei !
|
514,430 | 317,399 | 457,430 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Pan's Labyrinth
|
A lot have been said about Pan's Labyrinth , and having critical praise from all many corners and circles , have piqued my interest in the movie . However , I was apprehensive as well , because by virtue of it being a fantasy like fairy tale , I suspect it was not up my alley , given my lack of sustainable interest during the screenings of recent movies of the same genre , made by prolific filmmakers like Terry Gillian's Brothers Grimm , or Mirrormask as scribed by the renowned Neil Gaiman . True enough , I was bored with Pan's Labyrinth . Really bored . Not that it wasn't a beautifully made film . It is , and the sets and costumes all looked like no effort was spared in trying to recreate the 1940s Spain , as well as the fantastical elements in the storyline . It wasn't the story as well , as the worst thing that could happen is incoherentness and inconsistency . No such thing in the movie , and the pacing was tight too . Perhaps I didn't enjoy director Guillermo del Toro's vision for this particular movie ? Pan's Labyrinth tells the story of a little girl , Ofelia ( Ivana Baquero ) , whose love is for the fairy tales she brings along with her pregnant mother , en route to live with her new stepfather . Things start to get interesting ( for her at least ) , when a mystical faun comes visiting , and offers an illusionary life that she was supposed to be leading . Now , depending on whether you believe in fairy tales , or how much you'll allow yourself to be affected by , and buy into the plot , you'll be in either camp - if you do believe , then you'll find this a blast . Otherwise , like me , it seemed rather forced , and you'll prefer to look at it from the angle of psychosis . I think because of past history that I don't believe in fairy tales anymore , so that innate fact took its toil when I was watching Pan's . I'd rather look at it from the angle that there's something totally wrong with Ofelia's mind , or to put it midly , she's got a wild imagination that allowed her to allude that she's seeing things , more like . So I officially sanction myself , and state it clearly here . Every reviewer has their likes and dislikes . Mine unfortunately turned out to be movies of such a genre . I would love to have enjoyed it , but somehow it didn't turn out the way I would have liked it to be . So there you know my innate bias , so don't take my word for it , watch it to see if you share the same sentiments .
|
514,997 | 317,399 | 457,433 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Perfect Stranger
|
Perfect Stranger is far from perfect , and this is yet another classic example of the marketers taking the source material , and letting their own imagination run wild to get bums on seats . Bruce Willis in a seedy role , and Halle Berry oozing sex appeal with assets spilling out of her dress ? That's what the trailers would have led us to believe , that the movie's a classical sexy thriller , but the movie is many miles away , southwards in direction . Halle Berry plays Rowena Price , one of those journalist for gossipy mags , or if you prefer to upmarket her profession , an investigating journalist who digs the lowdown on the bigwigs and unveils the skeletons in their closet . A friend is found murdered , but not before giving her leads that her potential murderer could be Harrison Hill ( Bruce Willis ) , New York's top advertising executive , with a penchant for kinky online sex , having spend most of his free time when he's not running the business , in chatrooms , and wining and dining fast ladies for the real thing . So it's up to Rowena to hike her skirt and plunge her neckline to get into Hill's agency to dig for dirt , and naturally to engage in a little naughty online experience with Hill's virtual persona . Add in a jealous assistant in Miles Haley ( Giovanni Ribisi ) , we get quite a threesome relationship tussle going on , with plenty of sexual innuendos and meanings between lines . But herein lies the problem . In trying to cramp too much into too little time , and having a schizophrenic demeanour in its narrative , Perfect Stranger tries just too damn hard to be too smart with its twists and about turns , and ended up with so many clichés ( the horny husband , the rich and beautiful wife , the tech savvy friend , etc ) and boring moments , that you can see things coming way before they actually happen . Willis becomes too smug as he sleepwalks through his role , nothing too unfamiliar given previous experience in films like Color of Night ( opposite Jane March , who faded into obscurity ) , and Berry offers nothing more than what we've already ahem seen in her earlier works , ever since Swordfish provided that eye-opening experience . Everything in the movie follows a plot which is a tad too convenient , and having had shot 3 different endings for the movie , tells you a lot about how they treated the material . What could have been engaging , or intriguing , turns out to be a yawn . Perfect Stranger suffered from the shall-we-end-here-or-later syndrome , anti-climaxing the plot with a pathetic whimper , and couldn't decide just when to pull the plug , plunging it deeper and deeper into the realm of the ridiculous . Touted as provocative , and highlighted the potential dangers of online chats with identities anonymous and anyone could feign to be somebody else , in actuality Perfect Stranger was very tame and unsexy . What made it worse here is for the distributor to submit an edited version of it in attempts to get more people into the theatres . They really should have left it uncut , and gotten a higher rating . There are other better movies out there worth your time and money , so you can safely give Perfect Stranger the perfect parting gift - the skip .
|
515,188 | 317,399 | 256,103 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Intimacy
|
Picture your life this way if you can : You are a regular bloke . You work as a bartender in a pub . Your wife has left you and has custody over your two kids . Your friends are a gay and a totally whacked out stoner . The only thing you look forward to , is the afternoon of Wednesdays . That's when an annonymous female stranger knocks on your door , enters your home and the both of you have sex . Just sex . Nothing else . You don't even talk to each other . Just plain humping . And she leaves after that , leaving you basking in orgasmic pleasure . And that , covers about of the movie . Not just one sex scene , but plenty in between . Nothing fancy , just straight to the point humping . Things start to get complicated when you try to find out more about the life of this stranger , and the viewer is presented the background , motives and rationale behind the two lead characters . That's it . With one final hump , the movie ends . I suppose it's for the arty-farty folks , but heck , i think 90 % of the audience in the sold-out theatre didn't comprehend what the movie is trying to put across .
|
515,156 | 317,399 | 409,285 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Gaze of Michelangelo
|
This is possibly the final short film of Michelangelo Antonioni , starring as himself as well as he seeks out his the Italian Renaissance painter Michelangelo's statue of Moses at the Churce of St Pietro in Rome . Basically it's a piece which has the camera lingering on extreme close ups of the statue , covering every possible nook , cranny and corner , coupled with a meditative looking Antonioni decked in Armani , caressing the statue with his hand . In all frankness I have no idea what this short was trying to achieve , although it boasts some stunning visuals against absolutely no dialogue and sans music accompaniment , save for the ambient noise of shutting doors , and a church chorus toward the end . It might get a tad repetitive as well , given that it seemed certain shots got repeated ad nauseam . Perhaps it's to share the brilliance of one of Michelangelo's statues , or to share that the statue might be one of Antonioni's favourites .
|
514,923 | 317,399 | 349,903 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Ocean's Twelve
|
I got mixed feelings watching the film . It's supposed to be a heist flick , but doesn't feel that way . On the other , it's fun to watch the big name stars hamming it up on screen having a great time . One of the best parts is when Julia starts to play herself , and the cameo by Bruce Willis as himself is a hoot Other than that , the heist part is a bit of a let down - if compared to the first film , this one lacked the the sophistication of planning , twists , and the air of confidence , and everything about the heist ( more than one ) is told in flashbacks . Not as fresh as Ocean's 11 , but Catherine Zeta Jones , yeah she's hot
|
515,209 | 317,399 | 437,863 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : The Benchwarmers
|
The main reason why I would want to go watch a movie like this , which I'd bet 95 % of the movie-going audience would prefer to avoid , is actually to check out what it's done to its premise . You see , a group of friends and I had an idea which we wanted to short-film , and the trailer for The Benchwarmers was so strikingly similar . Not that the story is rocket - science to begin with , but it's sometimes helpful to check out how a treatment ended up with its release . Telling the story of 3 losers who one day decide to stand up for a little guy , The Benchwarmers established their roots and take one for the Nerds , as they go up against a fistful of Jocks whom they're playing a baseball field for . Needless to say , this is the usual Nerds Vs Jocks type of movie , with a strange setting that all nerds grow up to be rich nerds , while the jocks all end up effeminate and enjoying loads of tittie-twisties . Why ? Don't ask , because this movie earned its cred belonging to one of those politically incorrect gross comedies , making fun of little people ( Verne Troyer , better known as Mini - Me , makes an uncredited appearance ) , the dumb , people who speaks with saliva spewing out from their mouths , and recycling the usual toilet humour like beef-stew farts . But for the fans and geeks of Star Wars , it's a wet dream come true as there are tons of props used from the movie , as well as well-known vehicles making short appearances , like the Batmobile from TV's 60s Batman , and the 1980s KITT from Knight Rider . While production values isn't exactly great - I thought at some points the movie seemed to be glued together from various separate and distinct scenes ( during the outtakes , you realized that there were plenty more scenes shot which did not make the final cut ) . There are various unnecessary subplots , like Schneider's screen wife wanting to start a family ( not that I'm complaining ) , but these points start to wear off as they're neither funny nor important to the main event . Themes like friendship and forgiveness make its usual rounds , and there's a little " mystery " worked into why Schneider's Gus Bus is the only player amongst the trio who seem to be able to play baseball , and be so good at it too . Other than that , the rest of the characters are stereotypical , bordering on the insane most of the times . What surprised me was the ending , as the usual good guys triumphing over the evil dudes isn't played out as it's expected to be , which of course , is at least a refreshing change . Again , not that it's a whoa ! moment , but it's different enough to let one up for the nerdy kids , which perhaps is the message this movie wants to spread - to let all kids have an equal opportunity to get out there in the sun , and have some fun , never mind their level of competency in the sport .
|
515,172 | 317,399 | 449,010 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Eragon
|
I'm not sure why many have cited this to be yet another epic fantasy movie in the mould of Lord of the Rings , or even Harry Potter . Perhaps it's the release date , given that all make it to the silver screen toward the end of the year . However , given that the story is based on a novel written by a sixteen year old at the time , the shades of familiarity stem from something on a grander scale . And to me , it's Star Wars : A New Hope . The similarities are obvious . Eragon ( Edward Speleers ) , the farmboy , raised not by his parents , but by his relatives . He learns how to use mystical power bestowed upon him , and has a mentor , Brom ( Jeremy Irons ) , teach him the ways too . The villains wield same capabilities , and they all wear black , seeking to destroy hope . Midway , there's a quest to save Princess Arya ( Sienna Guillory ) , and it all culminates in a huge battle , except that the villains launch the initiative , like the Battle of Hoth rather than Yavin . If that doesn't sound like A New Hope to you , then you'd probably come to enjoy Eragon , the first part of the Inheritance trilogy . However , if you make the connection , then I'd say you'll be pretty much bored as the movie has neither many moments to whip up your adrenaline , and is filled with a number of dialogue that will make you cringe . Perhaps the finale battle is the only saving grace of this movie , but even that has shades of LOTR's attack at Helm's Deep , only that it's on a much smaller scale , and lacking in detail . The cast is quite spectacular , though I'm a bit surprised that Jeremy Irons is in the movie . Some of you would have known he starred in the grand daddy of fantasy realms - Dungeons and Dragons , but unfortunately , that movie bombed . I suppose he's back here to make amends , but unfortunately , he doesn't get much opportunity to do so . Robert Carlyle as chief villain in this installment is your typical over the top overconfident bad guy , and he's the one with the inappropriate funny lines , which seem to repeat themselves over and over again . John Malkovich is a complete waste as the evil King , and as villains , repeat themselves ad nauseam . Perhaps as a hint , the filmmakers have reigned him in to unleash more mayhem in the sequels . Saphira the dragon is designed beautifully enough though , given the last celebrity voiced dragon we saw was in Dragonheart , provided by Sean Connery . But I suspect that the baby dragon will win a lot more hearts than a fully grown one . You can hear those gasps amongst the audience , that should some marketing folk start making the plush toy , it'll sell like hotcakes this Christmas . Eragon clocks in at way under 2 hours , which is hardly material enough to consider it an epic . Given the shortened run time , there are various bits on the character's learning and development of abilities which seemed very rushed and summarized even , making it feel very choppy . However , as with all first films of the trilogy , it's the establishment of who's who and what's what , so hopefully , if a sequel pulls through , that it'll be way better than this one . And yeah , it cracked me up upon hearing Saphira ( voiced by Rachel Weisz ) stating that she needed a rider . Ha !
|
514,770 | 317,399 | 460,749 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : The Coffin
|
Director Ekachai Uekrongtham reunites with actor Ananda Everingham to move from the red light district of Singapore's Geylang back to Thailand to partake in the bizarre Thai ritual of having oneself laid in a coffin to get rid of bad karma . It seems that all the karma in the world are on a zero sum equation , and what you try to get rid of , get translated into unwanted supernatural attention and transferred elsewhere where you least expected . On paper and from the trailers , the premise is rich for plenty of scare opportunities to be milked . Alas the star pairing of Karen Mok and Ananda Everingham is too overrated , as both only share one scene together , and a short one at that . The story also seemed a tad weak and filled with too many draggy scenes which supposedly tries to build tension and anticipation , but falls flat on its face . And don't get me started on the dialogue , as it contains some of the most cringe-worthy lines that it's more interesting just sitting there just watching paint dry . Don't get me wrong though , there were still some genuinely scary moments , of just 2 scenes which almost guarantees your heart skipping a beat . But that's it . You wait for almost an hour for something to make your hair stand on ends , and they come fast and furious . And too bad that after that the entire film went flaccid after some solid spurts as it plodded along to a boring last act which tried to rationalize the strange happenings a little too much that it just sucks out whatever soul the movie has confidently built up from that crescendo of horrific scenes . Horrror movies are no stranger to Ananda Everingham , having been introduced to audiences through the superb Thai horror film Shutter . But unfortunately even his acting chops can't lift his mediocre character Chris out from the doldrums , who decided to get into the coffin to try and save his comatose girlfriend , but as suggested in the film but with the potential not followed through , the coffin used might not be a brand new one and could contain some unclean elements in it . While he doesn't have some of the scariest scenes in the film , what he did have was a scene quite powerful in itself toward the end to show off some of his dramatic flair . Karen Mok has instead demonstrated that she's no scream queen , try as she might . Her portrayal of the troubled Su , who fled to Bangkok with her wedding looming on the horizon because she discovered she's suffering from lung cancer , doesn't provide that air of vulnerability , and her alpha-female persona just gives you the feeling that she'll pull through whatever supernatural trials and tribulations the story throws at her . She got the luck of the draw though with the scariest moments in the movie happening to her character , but too bad these were one off scenes that became the oddity in a horror movie caught up with trying to be innovative , but yet negated by feeling the necessity to explain everything verbatim . If not for its rare handful of scares , some cheap , The Coffin should stay well buried six feet under , a pity given the premise that was so full of potential .
|
515,363 | 317,399 | 499,556 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Rogue Assassin
|
War undergoes one of those unnecessarily title changes for this part of the world , naming itself after Jet Li's assassin character Rogue . Billed as " The Ultimately Martial Arts Duel of the Year " , the person who wrote that blurb for Rogue Assassin obviously hasn't seen many movies , or martial arts ones for that matter , or is plain lying through the teeth . You'd half expect that pitting two action stars against one another will instantly mean box office success by pulling in fans of both Jet Li and Jason Statham , but it's a downright insult as you don't see any punches pulled between the two for 99 % of the time . Jason Statham actually starred opposite Jet Li in the movie called The One back in 2001 , where Li had no decent cinematic opponent to spar with , and had to do so with himself , assisted by CGI . With his movies like Crank and The Transporter doubles becoming guilty pleasures ( read : just Statham kicking up a storm without a reasonable story to boot ) , I'd actually come to enjoy his work choreographed by Corey Yuen ( who also does the action choreography here ) , together with other ensemble movies he starred in , like The Italian Job and Snatch , amongst others . It's no doubt I'm a fan , but in Rogue Assassin , all he had to show off his fighting chops , was a sequence in a ubiquitous teahouse . But Jet Li fared no better too . His Hollywood foray had been more misses than hits , either playing assassins or cops like in Kiss of the Dragon , or be stuck in roles that require little dialogue and only to look bad-ass , like in Lethal Weapon 4 , and Cradle 2 the Grave . Or the easiest of all , forget dialogue and kick around like a mad dog - no offense but that's what he really did in Unleashed ( which I thought the notion of it all was rather degrading for an action star ) . Nonetheless he goes back to a story on warring factions again ala Romeo Must Die , but this time , it's not between boyz in the hood , but putting Japanese Yakuza and Hong Kong Triads in the streets of San Francisco . As I mentioned earlier , there's nothing martial arts here . Everything is guns , guns and more guns , with a complimentary sword fight put in , but not between the touted leads . The action sequences , from fights to chases to stunts all looked rather tired and rehashed , with absolutely nothing that will make you go " wow , that's nothing I've seen before " . Statham and Li share no more than 5 minutes together in the same scene , and only at best a minute bashing each other up , in the dark , in a narrow dock warehouse , before launching into more verbal mumbo jumbo . Everything here is a caricature , and not even a clichéd revelation saved the movie , when it had expected to , except to give some runway to a possible sequel . War / Rogue Assassin reeks of plain laziness , and plays out like a cartoon . In trying to be sophisticated , having to label locales with " The Triad Warehouse " , or " The Yakuza Lair " was just plain hilarious , unintentionally of course . The number of supporting caricatures , some recognizable Asian actors , all fall into the realm of predictability , and the villains are all too smug and too boring . You have HK actor Mark Cheng ( from his latest movie Invisible Target ) lending his charisma but becoming a laughing stock , John Lone demonstrating he's still very much being typecast in Hollywood roles , Devon Aoki continuing to be that flower vase who doesn't look good up close ( somehow the cinematic camera dislikes her ) , and hey , once TV actress from this part of the world , Steph Song , gets a cameo too , spending most of the screen time screaming . Everything's pure flash with zero substance . Even in trying to be a little sophisticated in its plot , it decided to allow some plot loopholes to go through an exercise of the implausible , and put in some major character motivation error . But then again , we're talking about cartoony caricatures here , so that probably won't matter . It became a victim of its own star casting - you don't know who you want as the bad guy , and as a result , becomes a below par mediocre , generic action movie that you can stick some other monkeys in and still work .
|
515,037 | 317,399 | 979,951 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Things We Do When We Fall in Love
|
The second part of James Lee's love trilogy , Things We Do When We Fall in Love is more of the same . If you're frustrated with the presentation of the first , then my advice is not to bother with the second , even though the stories are not linked . For me , I thought the colour made it slightly more bearable , but if you're not a fan of his auteur minimalist style , then you're likely to have impatience get to you . There are many shots and situations which just are , without much incident , and totally up to you to interpret . Inside the car , in a motel , dancing on a quiet street in the dead of the night , walking around in a padi field , the list goes on . It is likely that there are deeper meanings to be studied from , but the shaky hand-held camera gives you a wild spin , often following from behind the characters , or peering from behind inanimate objects . They eat , sleep and talk about the most mundane things . It's not a romantic film per se as the title would have you suggest , but rather a very unromantic one dealing with the ordinary , stemming from insecurity , and the constant craving to be wanted . I thought there was a little hope for me to enjoy this movie when the introductory scene before the opening title showed flashes of things to come , of some comedy infused in its dialogue , but that was not to be . Instead , it went back to dialogue that was slow , non - purposeful , and excruciatingly repetitive , especially the cries for acceptance and the pleas to be understood , which get on your nerves . The constant arguments between the couple , ever so often , makes you wonder when they'll eventually part for good . It tells of the relationship between a man and a woman . One's a computer programmer , the other a teacher . They decide to take a trip around nearby , and spend much time driving around , from which we follow like a " lamppost " at the back of their seats , watching silently as they eat , quarrel , and sing . We spend quite some time on the road , before we decide to end up in a motel , for more of the same . I thought Loh Bok Lai was decent in his role as the all suffering man who cannot seem to appease his lady love ( or so we think ) , and Len Siew Mee , showed a different perspective with her female character here , compared to her love-them - and-leave-them Ling Yue in her previous movie . Here , her clingy character just gets to you and frustrates . And following them won't be bad if not for the NYPD Blues styled camera-work . If you're one who suffer from motion sickness , bring a bag along . The story develops at a peculiar pace , and in the end , a hastily thrown epilogue of sorts is included , which I thought would have been unnecessary , if not just to show that pair of mammaries in a pool . Despite the complaints , will I watch the concluding movie ? For sure , given that I want to complete the trilogy , and that I'm such a sucker for pain .
|
514,517 | 317,399 | 382,810 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : ( SIFF ) Little Fish
|
I was drawn into the movie because of the cast , a powerhouse trio in Cate Blanchett , Hugo Weaving and Sam Neill . Other than that , the story took a while before it became interesting , and the pace was somewhat too slow for me . Telling the story of an ex-dug addict Tracy Heart ( Blanchett ) , it brings to mind the Yellow Ribbon project . It hammers home the reality that despite talk of the giving of second chances , in the world of today , just how many would offer that helping hand ? Seeking a bank loan itself to finance a business proposition , is an Everest to climb . The story dwells on the conflicts within her family , the present situation that looks so bleak without opportunities , the disgraceful past , and how the characters have to live with the skeletons in the closet . It was a little dry in presentation , and dragged with a number of scenes . What made it interesting was the ending itself , somewhat tense and not knowing which way it will result in . And that locking of lips between Weaving and Neill ? Didn't expect that at all . But on the whole , this movie didn't work for me and was somewhat disappointing , save for the delivery of the excellent cast .
|
515,453 | 317,399 | 770,752 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Fool's Gold
|
Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson paired up in a chick flick some 5 years back in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days , with the latter making the former fall in love with her , and then having to shrug him off as part of a social experiment , only to find herself really loving him instead . In Fool's Gold , our couple reunites , with Kate Hudson's Tess going down deja-vu avenue in wanting to divorce husband Finn , played by McConaughey because she just had enough of his lack of keeping to promises , which even a fantastic sex life couldn't help . It's no surprise that movies such as Fool's Gold continue to be made , and the formula is pretty no brainer as well . Put in some tempting opportunity for prospecting sunken treasure in the depths of the seas from some aged old ship , smack together good looking leads ( so that they can get away with everything , including a bad story ) who don't mind bearing their bodies in trunks of bikinis for the most parts of the movie , and pour in plenty of water , jokes , and goon type characters as baddies . Finn , as a hero , is almost always bumming through life , and making the wrong deals with the wrong kinds of persons . His latest expedition , while managing to gain small results , offends his financier Bigg Bunny ( Kevin Hart ) , who's after his hide for making him lose money . His soon to be ex-wife works as a stewart onboard the luxury yacht of multi-millionaire Nigel Honeycutt ( Donald Sutherland ) , who soon finds himself charmed by the couple's enthusiasm and passion for treasure hunting , and backs them in their latest quest to locate the lost treasure known as the Queen's Dowry , where 40 chests of jewellery with emeralds and rubies the size of a human fists . And the quest is not made easy when there's competition in the form of Moe Fitch ( Ray Winstone without CGI to buff him up to Beowulf proportions ) , and Big Bunny's goons with an injection of foreign talent . For some parts , this looked like National Treasure without the location jet-setting and the cryptic clues . There's a hidden treasure somewhere that our heroes have to dig deep from clues provided from the past , in knowing characters , their histories and motivations , and of course with goons constantly hot on their heels doing things the easier way without working the brains . However , Fool's Gold had loaded itself with too many characters in its ensemble , and as it expectedly turns out , everyone else besides Hudson and McConaughey are in supporting , one dimensional caricatures . You have a rapper and his posse , a pair of gay chefs , rival treasure plunders with history going way back , and a tycoon and his daughter whom he's trying to connect with . If I should choose my favourite character amongst all of them , it's gotta be that bimbotic heiress ( Alexis Dziena ) probably cloned from Paris Hilton's genes . In fact , some of her lines are so genuinely stupid , that they somehow turn out really hilarious , and the delivery by that wide-eyed ingénue , clueless face , gave those lame jokes an added boost . Standard action adventure fare with predictable outcome . Don't go into this movie expecting anything more , or you'll be making a foolish choice .
|
515,365 | 317,399 | 897,361 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : I Know Who Killed Me
|
Maybe because it's Lindsay Lohan's way of telling the cinematic world she's grown up now and would like to be cast in more mature roles , with her taking on dual characters here as all American rich girl next door Aubrey Fleming , and white trash stripperella Dakota Moss . Like Anne Hathaway before her who had shed her clothes to announce her arrival ( in both Brokeback Mountain and Havoc ) , Lohan prances around in skimpy costumes , gyrating on a dance floor showing off her pole moves , but yet stopped short from showing what she has already exposed in real life . Her public demeanours aside , which has seen her flash skin ( intentional or not ) , smoke , drink and drive , all hopes of this movie being her vehicle to show what she can do beyond those cutesy teenage roles , go up in a puff of smoke . I Know Who Killed Me sounds like a cheap cousin of the clichéd I Know What You Did ( insert favrourite season here ) , and works out for the most parts suffering from multiple personality disorder . It cannot decide whether to be a psychological thriller which tickles the mind , a mystery with tons of smart red herrings thrown about , or a gory torture porn movie which really strayed too close into the Elisha Cuthbert Captivity copycat model . Lohan as Aubrey disappears in a small town which had been rocked by a series of missing girls and bizarre killings . Naturally everyone gets worried that Ms Freckles will become a victim , and when she's found , she suddenly deems herself to be a certain Dakota Moss who have absolutely no idea why folks are claiming otherwise , and assisted by some nifty special effects that somehow just makes your skin crawl . So on everyone's insistence she's not who she claims she is , and going down the road of delusions , I'll actually be quite glad if it took that straightforward path , rather than meander through indecisiveness , showing a little of everything , including cheap shock horror tactics , before providing that all important plot twist to stamp its mark and steer the movie henceforth . Credit though to that twist which was something of interest to me at least , but nothing that had already not been done before . What the story clearly lacked was a strong central villain , instead opting for the obvious clichés in playing coy with his identity . The movie throws up a whole truckload of supporting characters , and most of them , especially the police folk who were so involved in cracking the case ala CSI style , gets so conveniently forgotten midway through . Subplots introduced were relying too much on many coincidences , and when they do not logically work out , gets dropped wholesale too . All these boiled down in demonstrating the scatterbrains at work here , in dabbling with and experimenting , but leaving those unwanted test results still in the movie . But as mentioned , I Know Who Killed Me is an avenue for Lohan to show that she's bad , and really really bad . But there's absolutely no need to show she's notorious at flirting with the gardener with her come hither looks in tight clothing . She smokes and she drinks , and doesn't demonstrate anything else beyond being the tabloid fodder she has made out to be in recent times . Watch this if only you enjoy being teased by the local distributors - violence and gore is good and uncut , but love making with clothes on gets the snip for the call of the dough .
|
514,387 | 317,399 | 369,441 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Fun with Dick and Jane
|
This is a remake of a 1977 comedy of the same name , an update of the same premise of your happily married couple who found themselves in debt and having to rob in order to pay the bills . Starring Jim Carrey ( who produced this movie ) and Tea Leoni , they're Dick and Jane Harper , who are living the American dream , with nice house , nice car , nice kid , nice housekeeper , and nice family dog too . A promotion to Vice President of Communications in a conglomerate makes Dick Harper arrive . But only for a day as his first task is to make the televised announcement of his company's finances , and found out that the company is in dire straits . So begins the barrage of comedic situations where Dick and Jane struggle to sustain their livelihood with the minimal amount of resources , with situations even as absurd as getting deported . The jokes are not laugh-a-minute , and at times seemed too contrived , even for a Jim Carrey movie . We know what he's capable of , but in this movie , he's somewhat restrained in his delivery , perhaps having to share screen time with a partner in Leoni made him cut down the antics ? But the movie's obvious jab is on the recent spate of corporate scandals , and in that it does quite well , working them into the movie with no holds barred . It even had the cheek to give special thanks in its credits to the executives at Enron , WorldCom , and had a direct reference to the shredding episode of now-defunct auditing firm Arthur Andersen . Alec Baldwin certainly had a field day as the villain of the movie , the CEO of the conglomerate Globodyne who siphoned off every penny from the company before it collapse . Is he going on the decline , having to play supporting roles , and the " bad guy " as well , the latest in recent memory being another CEO in Elizabethtown ? Hmm . Is this comedy memorable ? Sadly no . It's OK for the occasional laughs , but absolutely nothing to make you laugh in tears . Fans of Jim Carrey , you'll lament the good old days . Bring them back !
|
515,490 | 317,399 | 433,817 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : The Absent
|
This is the latest in a slew of Euro movies to make it to our shores here , promoted as a mystery thriller because of the faux-pas sense of sophistication from everything European . To its credit , it does keep you guessing . As the premise goes , a serene family of four moves into the suburbs , only for Julia ( Ariadna Gil ) the mom experiencing things that go bump , even in the day . Loving husband Samuel ( Jordi Molla ) and kids Felix ( Nacho Perez ) and Luis ( Omar Munoz ) do not experience these strange phenomenon , and therefore this leads to tension within the family . What works is the atmosphere built up , that there are many scenes filled with plenty of emptiness Julia experiences in the neighbourhood , and the bewilderment she felt when she slowly discovers that there is no one else to turn to , not even her husband and children . Feeling extremely isolated , she begins to wonder what happened to have brought about the changes to her surroundings , as well as her family . On one hand , you want to sympathize with Julia and her increasing exasperation , and Ariadna Gil's performance enables you to do so . However , it's really a case of more than meets the eye , and you might be increasing as frustrated as the character when you attempt to figure out what is happening as well - is it a psycho babble mystery , or something involving the supernatural , or a conspiracy of sorts ? You can warrant a guess , and you'll probably be right , but the way the film progresses and develops , doubts will be cast on your assumptions , right until the very last scenes . If compared to earlier fare like Lemming ( happy family in suburbs ) and Cache / Hidden ( something remotely similar with its CCTV cameras and discovery that you can watch them on TV ) , The Absent probably is the weakest in terms of storyline , and the least entertaining of the lot . If you're thinking you're up for something quite cerebral , you might end up disappointed .
|
515,087 | 317,399 | 369,436 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Four Christmases
|
I can't help but to chuckle at how Brad ( Vince Vaughn ) and Kate ( Reese Witherspoon ) got busted on national television no less , for having everyone whom they have lied to , see exactly where they are - at the airport trying to get to their vacation destination rather than accepting the invitation from their families to spend the season's greetings with . After all , as far as Brad's mantra goes , you can't have families without " lies " . Anyway it is a situation that I'm fairly familiar with , and his reaction when the television camera gets poked in his face , brought back the memory of my own busted moment many years back . As the wafer thin story goes , here is a couple who have spent the last three years in their " honeymoon " period , where everything is fine and dandy , and they seem to be A-OK with their commitment-less agreement and enjoying life as it is with each other . But a fog-ruined holiday meant they have to spend their one-day delay in San Francisco , and play tote the politically correct line in visiting all their divorced parents - that makes it four pit stops to commemorate the festivities , and hence the title - and this led to various inevitable hilarious situations . Such as revisiting the ghosts and skeletons hidden in the homes they each grew up in , and for the first time , for both Brad and Kate to really discover who they once were , and who they are now , warts and all , for the other party to see . In fact , the first two house visits did just that , in presenting their worst nightmares and their attempts to overcome them . Sounds cliché I know , but that's the gist you get from the entire movie , that it's nothing more than a generic holiday movie where things that can go awry , do . Given that it's a compact under 90 minute film , you'd come to expect that the latter half of the visits suffered from haphazard editing in order to make a mad dash to the finale . And this tells from the way characters magically appear one moment , and disappear the next . Reese Whiterspoon just pales herself against the gigantic Vince Vaughn , and it's quite a curious case of what the filmmakers actually had in mind in casting a really tall Vaughn against a really short Witherspoon , that you can check out those heels she had to deck just to reach his erm , armpits . Vaughn definitely stole her thunder here ( in what was reel reflecting real - you just got to love his rendition of Joseph ) although some of the usual wisecracks did get toned down , and he seemed to be muted for the most parts , instead of being able to run riot with the role . Perhaps the much publicized tiff with his co-star did take its toil after all ? Four Christmases doesn't offer any gifts to the audience , and you're likely to stay one step ahead of the characters all the time . Genuinely funny jokes are rare , and moments of contemplation on the greater good gets mentioned only fleetingly . It's still quite amazing though that the film managed to get on board as supporting characters , the likes of Robert Duvall , Sissy Spacek , Jon Voight , Mary Steenburgen , Kristin Chenoweth , Tim McGraw ( ! ) and even the director of Iron Man Jon Favreau ! So it's enjoy the moment with the supporting characters ( almost all of whom their characters seem a little sexed up ) , in what would be a rather plain film .
|
515,033 | 317,399 | 816,437 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Bloody Tie
|
Bloody Tie was my last movie for this year's Singapore International Film Festival , and although it's an action movie , I thought it ended my festival this year with a whimper rather than with a bang . Set in the time of the IMF ( not the Mission Impossible one ) making loans to a South Korean economic collapse , the populace begins to turn to drugs for their bit of escapism . The worst hit city with plenty of drug addicts happen to be Busan , and for drug dealer Sangdo , this presents opportunity to make it to the big league . On the other side of the law , narcotics police detective Lieutenant Do , known for his unorthodox and violent prone techniques , takes Sangdo under his wing as his informal snitch . But as all things go , it's a black eat black world , with cop and drug dealer striking up an uneasy partnership , each with their own agenda to leach on the other for their own selfish reasons , in their common quest to take down the new and current drug lord . Sounds like good stuff ? That's what I thought too , until the pacing switched me off for the most parts . It's full of verbal bravado , and plenty of supporting characters adding absolutely nothing to further the story . Its runtime of almost 2 hours was not justified , and some sections could have been cut short to quicken things up . One of the few saving graces is its black humour , but other than that , it's pretty serious and sombre . If you're interested , stay tuned until the end of the credits . But given the late night , the projectionist was too trigger happy to shut the projector off halfway through the scene . Pity .
|
515,065 | 317,399 | 1,023,111 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Never Back Down
|
Donnie Yen's recent Flash Point provided action movie fans a glimpse of Mixed-Martial Arts , or MMA , where the best of breed techniques in taking down an opponent get gelled together to provide unpredictability in offensive and defensive response , coupled with the transformation of almost every part of the body into a well-oiled mechanism to dish out some serious punishment . But with Hollywood , well , you can bet your last dollar that the philosophy behind this brand of martial arts get dumbed down to 3 words - " Mix it up " . Like many movies starring teens and targeting the same demographics , Never Back Down follows a standard formula that most of such movies adopt , especially with taking things to the streets , like Fast and Furious 3 , and the Step Up movies , which dealt with different subject matter like street racing , and street dance . Throw a misunderstood teen into a new environment , where he learns that his current skills ( if you can call them that ) pales in comparison to the boys in the big league . Add a beautiful lass to beguile the protagonist , and she'll either serve as motivation or fodder to get his butt kicked because she just so happens to the antagonist's main squeeze . So in a fight for respect / pride / to get the girl , he goes into training mode , and comes back in time for the finale with chick around arms . That's about it . So don't go into this movie expecting a lot more . Touting itself as a new fight club , it is anything but , especially with everything cerebral removed from the plot . I also don't see how it won this year's MTV Movie Awards for best fight sequence , as most of it dwelled on grown men hugging tightly on the ground engaged in complex body grinding and twists . Action fans will be a tad disappointed with the quality of fights shown here , as this is not really MMA . I believe if you throw Donnie Yen into the mix , he would pawn everyone in the movie , even those who choreographed the supposedly deadlier moves , which boiled down to a series of boxing hooks and punches . With the formula in place , everything else will just fall into its rightful position . Sean Faris stars as Jake Tyler , a teen with anger management and guilt issues who can't control his temper and flares up easily when his dad gets insulted . In his new school , he chances upon 2 things , an underground fight club , and hot blonde Baja Miller , who turns out to be the girl of his would-be nemesis Ryan McCarthy ( Cam Gigandet ) , who turns out to be the biggest baddest fighter in school . Losing both the girl and his pride in one fell disgraceful swoop , he undergoes training with MMA exponent Jean Roqua ( Djimon Hounsou ) whose rule is simple - you do not fight outside his gym . Expect rules to be broken , expect the two mentor-mentee to bond , expect some rationale to be provided to head to the fight we've been waiting for , and while the peer movies gave us a finale to remember , this one fizzled out with cheap moves . But I've got to say something about the movie . Fans of Tom Cruise will definitely see shades of Cruise-like characters in Sean Faris . He's like a walking , talking Cruise clone , only that he's younger , taller and more muscular . In fact , if you take Cruise back to his teens , Never Back Down would probably be one of the movies that would fit into his budding filmography . Not that I'm gay here , but seriously , if you happen for any reason , choose to watch this movie , tell me if you agree with me . They shouldn't have billed the movie as the new fight club , they should have billed the movie as starring the next Tom Cruise . Though of course it remains to be seen if Faris can steer clear of crazy couch-jumping antics .
|
514,820 | 317,399 | 843,302 | 5 |
A Nutshell Review : Retribution
|
Retribution , punishment that is considered to be morally right and fully deserved . And for those who , like myself , have not gotten warned enough from writer-director Kyoshi Kurosawa's earlier duds like Loft , watching Retribution is retribution enough for not heeding that warning with its red light flashing from a distance . I enjoyed Kairo , but somehow the subsequent works of his which I've watched , failed to captivate just as much . Simply put , Retribution contains all the classical elements of things that go bump in the night , the Kurosawa way . Don't expect sudden boos - you'll get long takes , the quiet , and something I've always admired , how spirits appear in the background so gradually , it's actually frightening . But too much of a good thing becomes cliché , and spicing it up by making them fly like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix sequels , just reeks . This movie too suffered from too many of the same type ghouls , and having one of them , the sticky Woman in Red ( Riona Hazuki , whom I swear looks very much like local TV actress Jacelyn Tay ) letting out cries that can challenge any siren , inevitably makes you want to cover your eyes each time she appears . As the story goes , Koji Yakusho , a Kurosawa movie regular , plays a veteran detective Yoshioka assigned to investigate the homicide of the woman in a scarlet red dress , who was drowned in salty water accumulated in a puddle at a construction site . Curiously enough , the evidence all point to him - his whereabouts unknown , and a button at the scene which could have come from his own jacket . The problem is , he has no recollection what the heck had happened , and neither does he know the girl . Along the way , he seemed to be guided by this invisible force which he calls his hunch , to nab other suspects in other cases of similar modus operandi - that of drowning in shallow salt waters . It's pretty much a character study piece of Yoshioka , with many flashbacks and numerous attempts tying up its convoluted loose ends . His nasty demeanour of unorthodox tactics ( I just love that chase up the rooftop and its resolution of that scene ) make him unpopular , and when alone , his relationship with his beautiful girlfriend Harue ( Manami Konishi ) makes you wonder why the bad boys get all the nice girls . Anyway that aside , it's precisely these relationship issues that put the entire story on a spin , and which I thought for a man like him , saving his whisky bottle during an earthquake speaks loads . As mentioned earlier , the production is almost minimal , especially with Yoshioka alone in his apartment . The movie's not for everyone , and restless teenagers are better off leaving the theatre rather than to vent their displeasure at the other folks who want to endure this . There are a few surprises in store for those patient enough to wait till they emerge , but therein arose more questions to be answered . You wont get satisfaction watching this movie , all you get is retribution for wasting time watching something quite hokey and clunky . If there's only one thing I like about the movie , it's that one special effects shot involving a water pan towards the end . Blink and you'll miss it .
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.