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craigums | If it has been 8 years I can tell you, you have nothing to worry about... I dated my Wife (we just got married a month ago) for 5 years, lived together, own a house etc. Nothing really changes too much everything will feel exactly how it did before, and I guess that is a good thing. I love my wife, we hang out all the time, play video games, etc getting married only did a few things for us.
1. We got some $ and helped us pay some of our bills, and buy her a kick ass gaming PC.
2. We had an awesome party, it truly was one of the best days of my life.
3. If we have kids, I get to give them one of those "Dad, we have heard this story a million times" stories about how my wife couldn't change her name because of the government shutdown.
Pro Tips:
Just say "yes" to whatever she is planning, it makes life way easier.
Your parents may annoy the living hell out of you during the planning, but if they are throwing up cash smile and nod
the year of planning that goes into it is stressful,aggravating etc. Mixing Rootbeer with Rum can help this process.
If you are doing any glass breaking (sometimes down at Jewish weddings) make sure the glass is laying down not standing up or you will hurt the shit out of your ankle.
You will have a great time, the entire day will be a blur and be over in what feels like a total of 5 hours, have fun, enjoy it, It was such a great time it honestly reminded me of the joy of having a birthday party as a child when you wait for days and when it is finally there it is awesome. (But picture this x2 as it is a joint party with your wife)
TL;DR Just say yes when they ask you things about planning and during the ceremony, and drink rum/rootbeer all the time.
| If it has been 8 years I can tell you, you have nothing to worry about... I dated my Wife (we just got married a month ago) for 5 years, lived together, own a house etc. Nothing really changes too much everything will feel exactly how it did before, and I guess that is a good thing. I love my wife, we hang out all the time, play video games, etc getting married only did a few things for us.
We got some $ and helped us pay some of our bills, and buy her a kick ass gaming PC.
We had an awesome party, it truly was one of the best days of my life.
If we have kids, I get to give them one of those "Dad, we have heard this story a million times" stories about how my wife couldn't change her name because of the government shutdown.
Pro Tips:
Just say "yes" to whatever she is planning, it makes life way easier.
Your parents may annoy the living hell out of you during the planning, but if they are throwing up cash smile and nod
the year of planning that goes into it is stressful,aggravating etc. Mixing Rootbeer with Rum can help this process.
If you are doing any glass breaking (sometimes down at Jewish weddings) make sure the glass is laying down not standing up or you will hurt the shit out of your ankle.
You will have a great time, the entire day will be a blur and be over in what feels like a total of 5 hours, have fun, enjoy it, It was such a great time it honestly reminded me of the joy of having a birthday party as a child when you wait for days and when it is finally there it is awesome. (But picture this x2 as it is a joint party with your wife)
TL;DR Just say yes when they ask you things about planning and during the ceremony, and drink rum/rootbeer all the time.
| aww | t5_2qh1o | cd3p3u2 | If it has been 8 years I can tell you, you have nothing to worry about... I dated my Wife (we just got married a month ago) for 5 years, lived together, own a house etc. Nothing really changes too much everything will feel exactly how it did before, and I guess that is a good thing. I love my wife, we hang out all the time, play video games, etc getting married only did a few things for us.
We got some $ and helped us pay some of our bills, and buy her a kick ass gaming PC.
We had an awesome party, it truly was one of the best days of my life.
If we have kids, I get to give them one of those "Dad, we have heard this story a million times" stories about how my wife couldn't change her name because of the government shutdown.
Pro Tips:
Just say "yes" to whatever she is planning, it makes life way easier.
Your parents may annoy the living hell out of you during the planning, but if they are throwing up cash smile and nod
the year of planning that goes into it is stressful,aggravating etc. Mixing Rootbeer with Rum can help this process.
If you are doing any glass breaking (sometimes down at Jewish weddings) make sure the glass is laying down not standing up or you will hurt the shit out of your ankle.
You will have a great time, the entire day will be a blur and be over in what feels like a total of 5 hours, have fun, enjoy it, It was such a great time it honestly reminded me of the joy of having a birthday party as a child when you wait for days and when it is finally there it is awesome. (But picture this x2 as it is a joint party with your wife) | Just say yes when they ask you things about planning and during the ceremony, and drink rum/rootbeer all the time. |
snax2k1 | *sigh* I'm gonna chime in on this as well. I asked my Girlfriend of 10 years to marry me, at that time we were the happiest people in the world. Things were great, life was amazing for both of us. As the wedding planning began, as did our problems. Our ideas became her ideas, and my ideas. She wanted a big wedding, even though we had talked about a small wedding and using our savings towards financial stability and this was just the tip of the iceberg. As the wedding drew near, I went to counseling, things had become bad for me however I didn't know how to express it. After our wedding, I began to drink...a lot, we went into deep debt, never really planning to get out of it I went into a deep depression. Fast forward 2 years, she calls me to a public place, and hands me a letter tells me she wants a trial separation. That was 2 months ago, we still barely talk and while other aspects of my life are 100x better, (down 50lbs, dealing with the depression, 60 days sober yadda yadda) I still love her more than anything. I don't share this story to be a downer, and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm raining on your parade. Be happy, be excited be ecstatic! But please don't fall into the same trap I did, go and plan, don't take everything you've been through for the last 8 years and just plan on it to continue, if you are happy with the way it's going work hard to make sure it continues and if at any time you feel your paths are diverging go see someone and TALK IT OUT... Your love for one another will never go away, but if you let it the changes of marriage can drive you apart.
tl;dr - Don't take 8 years for granted, keep up the communication and keep fighting for what held you together for this long!
p.s. jesus sorry for the buzzkill | sigh I'm gonna chime in on this as well. I asked my Girlfriend of 10 years to marry me, at that time we were the happiest people in the world. Things were great, life was amazing for both of us. As the wedding planning began, as did our problems. Our ideas became her ideas, and my ideas. She wanted a big wedding, even though we had talked about a small wedding and using our savings towards financial stability and this was just the tip of the iceberg. As the wedding drew near, I went to counseling, things had become bad for me however I didn't know how to express it. After our wedding, I began to drink...a lot, we went into deep debt, never really planning to get out of it I went into a deep depression. Fast forward 2 years, she calls me to a public place, and hands me a letter tells me she wants a trial separation. That was 2 months ago, we still barely talk and while other aspects of my life are 100x better, (down 50lbs, dealing with the depression, 60 days sober yadda yadda) I still love her more than anything. I don't share this story to be a downer, and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm raining on your parade. Be happy, be excited be ecstatic! But please don't fall into the same trap I did, go and plan, don't take everything you've been through for the last 8 years and just plan on it to continue, if you are happy with the way it's going work hard to make sure it continues and if at any time you feel your paths are diverging go see someone and TALK IT OUT... Your love for one another will never go away, but if you let it the changes of marriage can drive you apart.
tl;dr - Don't take 8 years for granted, keep up the communication and keep fighting for what held you together for this long!
p.s. jesus sorry for the buzzkill
| aww | t5_2qh1o | cd3k7ua | sigh I'm gonna chime in on this as well. I asked my Girlfriend of 10 years to marry me, at that time we were the happiest people in the world. Things were great, life was amazing for both of us. As the wedding planning began, as did our problems. Our ideas became her ideas, and my ideas. She wanted a big wedding, even though we had talked about a small wedding and using our savings towards financial stability and this was just the tip of the iceberg. As the wedding drew near, I went to counseling, things had become bad for me however I didn't know how to express it. After our wedding, I began to drink...a lot, we went into deep debt, never really planning to get out of it I went into a deep depression. Fast forward 2 years, she calls me to a public place, and hands me a letter tells me she wants a trial separation. That was 2 months ago, we still barely talk and while other aspects of my life are 100x better, (down 50lbs, dealing with the depression, 60 days sober yadda yadda) I still love her more than anything. I don't share this story to be a downer, and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm raining on your parade. Be happy, be excited be ecstatic! But please don't fall into the same trap I did, go and plan, don't take everything you've been through for the last 8 years and just plan on it to continue, if you are happy with the way it's going work hard to make sure it continues and if at any time you feel your paths are diverging go see someone and TALK IT OUT... Your love for one another will never go away, but if you let it the changes of marriage can drive you apart. | Don't take 8 years for granted, keep up the communication and keep fighting for what held you together for this long!
p.s. jesus sorry for the buzzkill |
Freddiegristwood | Yes, there are more options for stealth, and the game is worth your buy.
As for the previous AC's, they're brilliant games, but the combat and stealth isn't as advanced. It's still stealthy, more so then III, but the mechanics aren't as good. Same with the combat.
**TL;DR** More stealth opportunity, less stealth mechanics. | Yes, there are more options for stealth, and the game is worth your buy.
As for the previous AC's, they're brilliant games, but the combat and stealth isn't as advanced. It's still stealthy, more so then III, but the mechanics aren't as good. Same with the combat.
TL;DR More stealth opportunity, less stealth mechanics.
| assassinscreed | t5_2s6v6 | cd3ma0f | Yes, there are more options for stealth, and the game is worth your buy.
As for the previous AC's, they're brilliant games, but the combat and stealth isn't as advanced. It's still stealthy, more so then III, but the mechanics aren't as good. Same with the combat. | More stealth opportunity, less stealth mechanics. |
bestpractice1 | Help us maintain the belief that our circles of influence reach aaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllll the way to China. All the way to the Chinese legal system!
TL;DR Sign here to feel really international and excellent, pfffffft.
| Help us maintain the belief that our circles of influence reach aaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllll the way to China. All the way to the Chinese legal system!
TL;DR Sign here to feel really international and excellent, pfffffft.
| australia | t5_2qh8e | cd3i4ev | Help us maintain the belief that our circles of influence reach aaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllll the way to China. All the way to the Chinese legal system! | Sign here to feel really international and excellent, pfffffft. |
MyCookie | Exactly, it's like magically, the internet turned into this really intrusion-free Garden of Eden, where you're free from all of the rules of the real world. The internet is inherently public. While that doesn't mean that people have free reign over your data, it also means that it's common sense that if you have private matters that you don't think people should know about, don't share it through the internet.
Call them up, meet them in person. Also, knowing that what you've posted might get misunderstood; post it in a way that people who read it know what you're talking about. That's not just avoiding being tracked for something you typed, but just written communication common sense.
TL;DR: Use some common sense when browsing the interent! | Exactly, it's like magically, the internet turned into this really intrusion-free Garden of Eden, where you're free from all of the rules of the real world. The internet is inherently public. While that doesn't mean that people have free reign over your data, it also means that it's common sense that if you have private matters that you don't think people should know about, don't share it through the internet.
Call them up, meet them in person. Also, knowing that what you've posted might get misunderstood; post it in a way that people who read it know what you're talking about. That's not just avoiding being tracked for something you typed, but just written communication common sense.
TL;DR: Use some common sense when browsing the interent!
| linux | t5_2qh1a | cd3ofq8 | Exactly, it's like magically, the internet turned into this really intrusion-free Garden of Eden, where you're free from all of the rules of the real world. The internet is inherently public. While that doesn't mean that people have free reign over your data, it also means that it's common sense that if you have private matters that you don't think people should know about, don't share it through the internet.
Call them up, meet them in person. Also, knowing that what you've posted might get misunderstood; post it in a way that people who read it know what you're talking about. That's not just avoiding being tracked for something you typed, but just written communication common sense. | Use some common sense when browsing the interent! |
Metalhead2881 | My husband and I both got jobs at a thrift store when we were in our late teens. He was a "hanger" (put clothes on the hangers and acted as a second eye to catch anything that shouldn't be out on the floor) and I was in charge of the shoe dept. I cleaned up, priced, and displayed all the shoes and then pulled and processed the old pairs to make room for new ones. (I was the only shoe person-it's relevant)
So at first it seemed awesome, we got to work together, had set hours with ok pay, and I was excited to have my own desk! But things started getting bad. There were way too many managers, so you constantly had conflicting instructions, especially my husband. One manager would pull something he hung up off the hanger and throw it in the bin, yelling at him that it shouldn't have been hung. The next manager would walk by, pull it out of the bin, and yell at him for not hanging it. No one listened to him trying to explain this, and just yelled at him to get back to work.
My issues came from the unreal amount of shoes I was suppose to price and put out, while also pulling the old ones. I could get enough priced, but then didn't have time to display and pull. If I displayed and pulled, I wouldn't hit my pricing quota, etc. I explained to managers, and they just yelled at me to work harder and faster. They also got mad if I tried to put out the nice skate shoes and expensive brands (my husband had worked at a shoe store) and instead wanted a bunch of worn out grandma shoes, priced way too high, which would result in me getting yelled at that not enough shoes were selling.
So, after a month we were both fed up. We were both your typical hard working wage slaves, did our best, gave it our all, etc. (I actually got made a manager at every job I worked but that one because of my work ethic and good attitude). We had had enough! So we walk in, throw down our nametags, and say "we quit!" And walk out. We hear the store tattletale/suck up yelling for the evil manager in a panicked voice, and we just keep on walking. Felt like one of those explosion scenes in an action flick, where the hero isn't phased by the explosions behind him. It felt badass, and we both got better jobs shortly after.
Wow, that got longer than I expected.
TL;DR: husband and I both work in thrift store with way too many shitty managers. We get fed up after a month, both walk out the same day, and hear the ensuing panic as we walk out. Feels good, man! | My husband and I both got jobs at a thrift store when we were in our late teens. He was a "hanger" (put clothes on the hangers and acted as a second eye to catch anything that shouldn't be out on the floor) and I was in charge of the shoe dept. I cleaned up, priced, and displayed all the shoes and then pulled and processed the old pairs to make room for new ones. (I was the only shoe person-it's relevant)
So at first it seemed awesome, we got to work together, had set hours with ok pay, and I was excited to have my own desk! But things started getting bad. There were way too many managers, so you constantly had conflicting instructions, especially my husband. One manager would pull something he hung up off the hanger and throw it in the bin, yelling at him that it shouldn't have been hung. The next manager would walk by, pull it out of the bin, and yell at him for not hanging it. No one listened to him trying to explain this, and just yelled at him to get back to work.
My issues came from the unreal amount of shoes I was suppose to price and put out, while also pulling the old ones. I could get enough priced, but then didn't have time to display and pull. If I displayed and pulled, I wouldn't hit my pricing quota, etc. I explained to managers, and they just yelled at me to work harder and faster. They also got mad if I tried to put out the nice skate shoes and expensive brands (my husband had worked at a shoe store) and instead wanted a bunch of worn out grandma shoes, priced way too high, which would result in me getting yelled at that not enough shoes were selling.
So, after a month we were both fed up. We were both your typical hard working wage slaves, did our best, gave it our all, etc. (I actually got made a manager at every job I worked but that one because of my work ethic and good attitude). We had had enough! So we walk in, throw down our nametags, and say "we quit!" And walk out. We hear the store tattletale/suck up yelling for the evil manager in a panicked voice, and we just keep on walking. Felt like one of those explosion scenes in an action flick, where the hero isn't phased by the explosions behind him. It felt badass, and we both got better jobs shortly after.
Wow, that got longer than I expected.
TL;DR: husband and I both work in thrift store with way too many shitty managers. We get fed up after a month, both walk out the same day, and hear the ensuing panic as we walk out. Feels good, man!
| TalesFromRetail | t5_2t2zt | cd47vek | My husband and I both got jobs at a thrift store when we were in our late teens. He was a "hanger" (put clothes on the hangers and acted as a second eye to catch anything that shouldn't be out on the floor) and I was in charge of the shoe dept. I cleaned up, priced, and displayed all the shoes and then pulled and processed the old pairs to make room for new ones. (I was the only shoe person-it's relevant)
So at first it seemed awesome, we got to work together, had set hours with ok pay, and I was excited to have my own desk! But things started getting bad. There were way too many managers, so you constantly had conflicting instructions, especially my husband. One manager would pull something he hung up off the hanger and throw it in the bin, yelling at him that it shouldn't have been hung. The next manager would walk by, pull it out of the bin, and yell at him for not hanging it. No one listened to him trying to explain this, and just yelled at him to get back to work.
My issues came from the unreal amount of shoes I was suppose to price and put out, while also pulling the old ones. I could get enough priced, but then didn't have time to display and pull. If I displayed and pulled, I wouldn't hit my pricing quota, etc. I explained to managers, and they just yelled at me to work harder and faster. They also got mad if I tried to put out the nice skate shoes and expensive brands (my husband had worked at a shoe store) and instead wanted a bunch of worn out grandma shoes, priced way too high, which would result in me getting yelled at that not enough shoes were selling.
So, after a month we were both fed up. We were both your typical hard working wage slaves, did our best, gave it our all, etc. (I actually got made a manager at every job I worked but that one because of my work ethic and good attitude). We had had enough! So we walk in, throw down our nametags, and say "we quit!" And walk out. We hear the store tattletale/suck up yelling for the evil manager in a panicked voice, and we just keep on walking. Felt like one of those explosion scenes in an action flick, where the hero isn't phased by the explosions behind him. It felt badass, and we both got better jobs shortly after.
Wow, that got longer than I expected. | husband and I both work in thrift store with way too many shitty managers. We get fed up after a month, both walk out the same day, and hear the ensuing panic as we walk out. Feels good, man! |
Toohigh_tocare | I think he was referring to the tl;dr bruh. | I think he was referring to the tl;dr bruh.
| pics | t5_2qh0u | cd3x70l | I think he was referring to the | bruh. |
Ridere | I have two siberian huskies.
One lazy Saturday morning, I was stirred from my sleep by a lovely aroma, as the Sun shone through my window. I have a few asian neighbors, and it smelled as if something delicious was being cooked for breakfast. In hindsight, it wasn't really a smell you'd associate with Breakfast, so much as Dinner, however. Either way, I think little of it, and I roll over and go back to sleep a bit longer.
Cut to another 30-45 minutes late, or so, and I still smell it. I figure 'whatever' and just wake up and head downstairs. I open up the door to my room, and this "cooking" smell is just so very much more intense than it was from my room. I found this odd, wondering if I left a window open downstairs. It wasn't until I rounded the living room, heading into the kitchen, where I saw the cause of my confusion.
One of the two (I suspect the female, as she's far more crafty and the Brain to the male's Pinky), had pilferred a rather large container of garlic salt from the counter and ate the whole thing. This, naturally, didn't sit well with her stomach, and she had proceeded to... rid... herself of it all over my hardwood floors. I had never seen so many brightly-colored, yet not-off-putting-smelling piles of ick in my life.
If you're a pet owner/parent, you're generally a bit numb to the idea of messes. It's sort of like an "It's okay, because they're your pets/kids", so I cleaned it up like a champ, but I just later found the whole situation rather funny. It still gets a lot of chuckles when I tell the story. haha
TL/DR: Dog ate a whole bottle of garlic salt and threw up good-smelling piles of yellow puke all over the house. | I have two siberian huskies.
One lazy Saturday morning, I was stirred from my sleep by a lovely aroma, as the Sun shone through my window. I have a few asian neighbors, and it smelled as if something delicious was being cooked for breakfast. In hindsight, it wasn't really a smell you'd associate with Breakfast, so much as Dinner, however. Either way, I think little of it, and I roll over and go back to sleep a bit longer.
Cut to another 30-45 minutes late, or so, and I still smell it. I figure 'whatever' and just wake up and head downstairs. I open up the door to my room, and this "cooking" smell is just so very much more intense than it was from my room. I found this odd, wondering if I left a window open downstairs. It wasn't until I rounded the living room, heading into the kitchen, where I saw the cause of my confusion.
One of the two (I suspect the female, as she's far more crafty and the Brain to the male's Pinky), had pilferred a rather large container of garlic salt from the counter and ate the whole thing. This, naturally, didn't sit well with her stomach, and she had proceeded to... rid... herself of it all over my hardwood floors. I had never seen so many brightly-colored, yet not-off-putting-smelling piles of ick in my life.
If you're a pet owner/parent, you're generally a bit numb to the idea of messes. It's sort of like an "It's okay, because they're your pets/kids", so I cleaned it up like a champ, but I just later found the whole situation rather funny. It still gets a lot of chuckles when I tell the story. haha
TL/DR: Dog ate a whole bottle of garlic salt and threw up good-smelling piles of yellow puke all over the house.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd3uvs3 | I have two siberian huskies.
One lazy Saturday morning, I was stirred from my sleep by a lovely aroma, as the Sun shone through my window. I have a few asian neighbors, and it smelled as if something delicious was being cooked for breakfast. In hindsight, it wasn't really a smell you'd associate with Breakfast, so much as Dinner, however. Either way, I think little of it, and I roll over and go back to sleep a bit longer.
Cut to another 30-45 minutes late, or so, and I still smell it. I figure 'whatever' and just wake up and head downstairs. I open up the door to my room, and this "cooking" smell is just so very much more intense than it was from my room. I found this odd, wondering if I left a window open downstairs. It wasn't until I rounded the living room, heading into the kitchen, where I saw the cause of my confusion.
One of the two (I suspect the female, as she's far more crafty and the Brain to the male's Pinky), had pilferred a rather large container of garlic salt from the counter and ate the whole thing. This, naturally, didn't sit well with her stomach, and she had proceeded to... rid... herself of it all over my hardwood floors. I had never seen so many brightly-colored, yet not-off-putting-smelling piles of ick in my life.
If you're a pet owner/parent, you're generally a bit numb to the idea of messes. It's sort of like an "It's okay, because they're your pets/kids", so I cleaned it up like a champ, but I just later found the whole situation rather funny. It still gets a lot of chuckles when I tell the story. haha | Dog ate a whole bottle of garlic salt and threw up good-smelling piles of yellow puke all over the house. |
SeasWouldRise | Our dog once trapped me and my grandma inside her cottage.
Story:
It was a rainy day, and me, my grandma, and my dog were at grandma's cottage. The dog was outside, on the terrace. Me and grandma played cards. At one point, I needed to use the toilet. The toilet is one of those compost thing toilets, and it was separate from the house. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't open more than 10 centimetres. Our dog loved pebbles and had put one on the terrace, waiting for someone to throw it. When I opened the door, it was pushed in between two planks, and got stuck. The door was so low, that it was blocked by the pebble. I somehow managed to get the pebble away from there.
TL;DR: Our dog trapped us inside grandma's cottage with a pebble. | Our dog once trapped me and my grandma inside her cottage.
Story:
It was a rainy day, and me, my grandma, and my dog were at grandma's cottage. The dog was outside, on the terrace. Me and grandma played cards. At one point, I needed to use the toilet. The toilet is one of those compost thing toilets, and it was separate from the house. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't open more than 10 centimetres. Our dog loved pebbles and had put one on the terrace, waiting for someone to throw it. When I opened the door, it was pushed in between two planks, and got stuck. The door was so low, that it was blocked by the pebble. I somehow managed to get the pebble away from there.
TL;DR: Our dog trapped us inside grandma's cottage with a pebble.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd3to50 | Our dog once trapped me and my grandma inside her cottage.
Story:
It was a rainy day, and me, my grandma, and my dog were at grandma's cottage. The dog was outside, on the terrace. Me and grandma played cards. At one point, I needed to use the toilet. The toilet is one of those compost thing toilets, and it was separate from the house. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't open more than 10 centimetres. Our dog loved pebbles and had put one on the terrace, waiting for someone to throw it. When I opened the door, it was pushed in between two planks, and got stuck. The door was so low, that it was blocked by the pebble. I somehow managed to get the pebble away from there. | Our dog trapped us inside grandma's cottage with a pebble. |
MrMortis | My dog, may she rest in peace, was a wonderfully friendly dog, unless you were a bear. She would chase bears and tree them, barking for hours on end.
So this one year we had a bear that kept coming back over and over. We called the conservation office and they told us to shoot it then give the body to the First Nations band down the road. My dad went out and shot the bear and we call the band. Some nice fellas show up and we have beers and put the bear in the back of their pickup.
The dog would not stop barking at the dead bark. Half hour straight she is barking and growling and half charging the carcass. One of the guys decides to be funny and puts his foot under the bear's making the bear move. He also growled while he did this. The dog goes BERSERK and attacks the dead bear carcass. My sweet friendly dog starts biting and snarling this dead bear, trying to tear it to pieces. We all are stunned at the viciousness and just watch for a few seconds. We are broken from our silence when the dog jumps onto the truck and locks her teeth into the bears rear end. She locks her jaw and is frantically tearing her head from side to side. Funniest thing I have ever seen.
TL;DR: Dog attacks dead bear's butt. | My dog, may she rest in peace, was a wonderfully friendly dog, unless you were a bear. She would chase bears and tree them, barking for hours on end.
So this one year we had a bear that kept coming back over and over. We called the conservation office and they told us to shoot it then give the body to the First Nations band down the road. My dad went out and shot the bear and we call the band. Some nice fellas show up and we have beers and put the bear in the back of their pickup.
The dog would not stop barking at the dead bark. Half hour straight she is barking and growling and half charging the carcass. One of the guys decides to be funny and puts his foot under the bear's making the bear move. He also growled while he did this. The dog goes BERSERK and attacks the dead bear carcass. My sweet friendly dog starts biting and snarling this dead bear, trying to tear it to pieces. We all are stunned at the viciousness and just watch for a few seconds. We are broken from our silence when the dog jumps onto the truck and locks her teeth into the bears rear end. She locks her jaw and is frantically tearing her head from side to side. Funniest thing I have ever seen.
TL;DR: Dog attacks dead bear's butt.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd3uwlr | My dog, may she rest in peace, was a wonderfully friendly dog, unless you were a bear. She would chase bears and tree them, barking for hours on end.
So this one year we had a bear that kept coming back over and over. We called the conservation office and they told us to shoot it then give the body to the First Nations band down the road. My dad went out and shot the bear and we call the band. Some nice fellas show up and we have beers and put the bear in the back of their pickup.
The dog would not stop barking at the dead bark. Half hour straight she is barking and growling and half charging the carcass. One of the guys decides to be funny and puts his foot under the bear's making the bear move. He also growled while he did this. The dog goes BERSERK and attacks the dead bear carcass. My sweet friendly dog starts biting and snarling this dead bear, trying to tear it to pieces. We all are stunned at the viciousness and just watch for a few seconds. We are broken from our silence when the dog jumps onto the truck and locks her teeth into the bears rear end. She locks her jaw and is frantically tearing her head from side to side. Funniest thing I have ever seen. | Dog attacks dead bear's butt. |
horix | You can learn about cardiovascular health and fitness in a whole bunch of health science books I'm sure. Or even Wikipedia can be a great resource.
A simple search online for "hypertension" (aka high blood pressure) paired with "exercise" should bring up a common fact: EVERYONE goes into hypertension when exercising; it doesn't matter if it's weight lifting, running, swimming, whatever. It's common sense when you think about it: hypertension just means your heart is trying really hard to push blood through your body. So of course you are in hypertension when your muscles demand more oxygen and your heart needs to work hard to deliver it.
When most doctors/health professionals talk about high blood pressure, they are talking about how bad it is when your heart is ALWAYS trying too hard to push blood. If your heart is always trying hard to pump, even when you're relaxed, it can be a sign of poor cardiovascular health, and the first commonly suggested remedy is for the person to get MORE exercise. If that fails, they may require high blood pressure medication.
[Here]( is the wiki article about HIIT training and links to a lot of the studies that have been done about it.
Now, I'll admit lifting is not HIIT, but it can have similar cardiovascular effects and mimics HIIT in a lot of ways; especially the high intensity of lifting big followed by a rest/recovery period. Contrary to popular belief, *consistently* doing big compound lifts like deadlifts and squats will increase overall cardio fitness. You probably won't be able to run a marathon, but a regular lifter's cardio should be relatively healthy because anybody who squats or deadlifts big will tell you just how out of breath they are and how hard their heart is beating after a set.
TL;DR High blood pressure is bad if it's persistent even when you're relaxed, but it's completely normal during exercise.
| You can learn about cardiovascular health and fitness in a whole bunch of health science books I'm sure. Or even Wikipedia can be a great resource.
A simple search online for "hypertension" (aka high blood pressure) paired with "exercise" should bring up a common fact: EVERYONE goes into hypertension when exercising; it doesn't matter if it's weight lifting, running, swimming, whatever. It's common sense when you think about it: hypertension just means your heart is trying really hard to push blood through your body. So of course you are in hypertension when your muscles demand more oxygen and your heart needs to work hard to deliver it.
When most doctors/health professionals talk about high blood pressure, they are talking about how bad it is when your heart is ALWAYS trying too hard to push blood. If your heart is always trying hard to pump, even when you're relaxed, it can be a sign of poor cardiovascular health, and the first commonly suggested remedy is for the person to get MORE exercise. If that fails, they may require high blood pressure medication.
[Here]( is the wiki article about HIIT training and links to a lot of the studies that have been done about it.
Now, I'll admit lifting is not HIIT, but it can have similar cardiovascular effects and mimics HIIT in a lot of ways; especially the high intensity of lifting big followed by a rest/recovery period. Contrary to popular belief, consistently doing big compound lifts like deadlifts and squats will increase overall cardio fitness. You probably won't be able to run a marathon, but a regular lifter's cardio should be relatively healthy because anybody who squats or deadlifts big will tell you just how out of breath they are and how hard their heart is beating after a set.
TL;DR High blood pressure is bad if it's persistent even when you're relaxed, but it's completely normal during exercise.
| Fitness | t5_2qhx4 | cd4uowr | You can learn about cardiovascular health and fitness in a whole bunch of health science books I'm sure. Or even Wikipedia can be a great resource.
A simple search online for "hypertension" (aka high blood pressure) paired with "exercise" should bring up a common fact: EVERYONE goes into hypertension when exercising; it doesn't matter if it's weight lifting, running, swimming, whatever. It's common sense when you think about it: hypertension just means your heart is trying really hard to push blood through your body. So of course you are in hypertension when your muscles demand more oxygen and your heart needs to work hard to deliver it.
When most doctors/health professionals talk about high blood pressure, they are talking about how bad it is when your heart is ALWAYS trying too hard to push blood. If your heart is always trying hard to pump, even when you're relaxed, it can be a sign of poor cardiovascular health, and the first commonly suggested remedy is for the person to get MORE exercise. If that fails, they may require high blood pressure medication.
[Here]( is the wiki article about HIIT training and links to a lot of the studies that have been done about it.
Now, I'll admit lifting is not HIIT, but it can have similar cardiovascular effects and mimics HIIT in a lot of ways; especially the high intensity of lifting big followed by a rest/recovery period. Contrary to popular belief, consistently doing big compound lifts like deadlifts and squats will increase overall cardio fitness. You probably won't be able to run a marathon, but a regular lifter's cardio should be relatively healthy because anybody who squats or deadlifts big will tell you just how out of breath they are and how hard their heart is beating after a set. | High blood pressure is bad if it's persistent even when you're relaxed, but it's completely normal during exercise. |
Kayonne | Thanks for the Tips everyone, I'm currently at Lv13 and I've encounter some difficult wild creatures out there, namely the Giant Trolls, damn they're strong! I had to get a Mammoth Tusk for Ysolda and It wasn't that easy either, Lydia had to die like twice or something in order for me to do it and I had to run as well to get some HP back using the Healing Spell.
I'm loving the Game even tho sometimes It feels a bit overwhelming and since I use Heavy Armor w/ Shield & 1H I can't kill that easily nor can I die that easily either even tho the freaking Giant inside the Sleeper Tree's Cave (I think that's the name) almost 1-shotted me, and I am always carrying too much stuff with me and I've also shared some stuff with Lydia as well, STILL NOT ENOUGH :D
TL;DR I LOVE IT! | Thanks for the Tips everyone, I'm currently at Lv13 and I've encounter some difficult wild creatures out there, namely the Giant Trolls, damn they're strong! I had to get a Mammoth Tusk for Ysolda and It wasn't that easy either, Lydia had to die like twice or something in order for me to do it and I had to run as well to get some HP back using the Healing Spell.
I'm loving the Game even tho sometimes It feels a bit overwhelming and since I use Heavy Armor w/ Shield & 1H I can't kill that easily nor can I die that easily either even tho the freaking Giant inside the Sleeper Tree's Cave (I think that's the name) almost 1-shotted me, and I am always carrying too much stuff with me and I've also shared some stuff with Lydia as well, STILL NOT ENOUGH :D
TL;DR I LOVE IT!
| skyrim | t5_2s837 | cd4ujpy | Thanks for the Tips everyone, I'm currently at Lv13 and I've encounter some difficult wild creatures out there, namely the Giant Trolls, damn they're strong! I had to get a Mammoth Tusk for Ysolda and It wasn't that easy either, Lydia had to die like twice or something in order for me to do it and I had to run as well to get some HP back using the Healing Spell.
I'm loving the Game even tho sometimes It feels a bit overwhelming and since I use Heavy Armor w/ Shield & 1H I can't kill that easily nor can I die that easily either even tho the freaking Giant inside the Sleeper Tree's Cave (I think that's the name) almost 1-shotted me, and I am always carrying too much stuff with me and I've also shared some stuff with Lydia as well, STILL NOT ENOUGH :D | I LOVE IT! |
Funinakan | As an annoying sibling I have done a number of "funny" things over the years. Now first I must mention that my sister scares very easily and she would consistently fall asleep watching TV on the couch. The night after my sister watched The Ring for the first time I set the TV to automatically change to the static channel at 12:30 a.m. I was awakened to the most bloodcurdling scream I have ever heard even to this day followed by a large crash. I went running downstairs to see what the problem was, having forgotten about setting the T.V. to change channels. There stood my sister with a knife in one hand and a meat tenderizer in the other with little bits of remote scattered all over the floor. Apparently it had scared her so much she chucked the remote at the T.V. and broke it. To this day we still tease her about thinking she could kill a ghost with a meat tenderizer.
TLDR: Set the TV to change to the fuzzy station after my sister watched The Ring. | As an annoying sibling I have done a number of "funny" things over the years. Now first I must mention that my sister scares very easily and she would consistently fall asleep watching TV on the couch. The night after my sister watched The Ring for the first time I set the TV to automatically change to the static channel at 12:30 a.m. I was awakened to the most bloodcurdling scream I have ever heard even to this day followed by a large crash. I went running downstairs to see what the problem was, having forgotten about setting the T.V. to change channels. There stood my sister with a knife in one hand and a meat tenderizer in the other with little bits of remote scattered all over the floor. Apparently it had scared her so much she chucked the remote at the T.V. and broke it. To this day we still tease her about thinking she could kill a ghost with a meat tenderizer.
TLDR: Set the TV to change to the fuzzy station after my sister watched The Ring.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd45fnk | As an annoying sibling I have done a number of "funny" things over the years. Now first I must mention that my sister scares very easily and she would consistently fall asleep watching TV on the couch. The night after my sister watched The Ring for the first time I set the TV to automatically change to the static channel at 12:30 a.m. I was awakened to the most bloodcurdling scream I have ever heard even to this day followed by a large crash. I went running downstairs to see what the problem was, having forgotten about setting the T.V. to change channels. There stood my sister with a knife in one hand and a meat tenderizer in the other with little bits of remote scattered all over the floor. Apparently it had scared her so much she chucked the remote at the T.V. and broke it. To this day we still tease her about thinking she could kill a ghost with a meat tenderizer. | Set the TV to change to the fuzzy station after my sister watched The Ring. |
kyzylwork | I laughed, but it's a really easy mistake to make both from a linguistics standpoint and from one of Japanese orthography. "B" and "P" are formed the exact same way by your tongue, teeth, and lips; "B" is just "voiced", i.e. you let your vocal cords vibrate. ("D" and "T", "G" and "K", "J" and "CH" also do this - try saying them in pairs!). Japanese writing acknowledges that these sounds are related in both of their syllabaries (i.e. the way they write words phonetically) - they're the same character, just with either a dot or two tiny lines overhead. Those sounds also shift back and forth in spoken Japanese depending on the sounds around them, e.g. the character for "river" can be pronounced both "kawa" and "gawa", depending on the rest of the compound.
TL;DR - A Japanese person writing "DUMB" instead of "DUMP" could be a case of the English letters looking similar, but is more likely because Japanese treats "B" sounds and "P" sounds as being related, both in pronunciation and writing. | I laughed, but it's a really easy mistake to make both from a linguistics standpoint and from one of Japanese orthography. "B" and "P" are formed the exact same way by your tongue, teeth, and lips; "B" is just "voiced", i.e. you let your vocal cords vibrate. ("D" and "T", "G" and "K", "J" and "CH" also do this - try saying them in pairs!). Japanese writing acknowledges that these sounds are related in both of their syllabaries (i.e. the way they write words phonetically) - they're the same character, just with either a dot or two tiny lines overhead. Those sounds also shift back and forth in spoken Japanese depending on the sounds around them, e.g. the character for "river" can be pronounced both "kawa" and "gawa", depending on the rest of the compound.
TL;DR - A Japanese person writing "DUMB" instead of "DUMP" could be a case of the English letters looking similar, but is more likely because Japanese treats "B" sounds and "P" sounds as being related, both in pronunciation and writing.
| engrish | t5_2qmxz | cd4hl7k | I laughed, but it's a really easy mistake to make both from a linguistics standpoint and from one of Japanese orthography. "B" and "P" are formed the exact same way by your tongue, teeth, and lips; "B" is just "voiced", i.e. you let your vocal cords vibrate. ("D" and "T", "G" and "K", "J" and "CH" also do this - try saying them in pairs!). Japanese writing acknowledges that these sounds are related in both of their syllabaries (i.e. the way they write words phonetically) - they're the same character, just with either a dot or two tiny lines overhead. Those sounds also shift back and forth in spoken Japanese depending on the sounds around them, e.g. the character for "river" can be pronounced both "kawa" and "gawa", depending on the rest of the compound. | A Japanese person writing "DUMB" instead of "DUMP" could be a case of the English letters looking similar, but is more likely because Japanese treats "B" sounds and "P" sounds as being related, both in pronunciation and writing. |
yodatsracist | It's Saturday and I worry no one else will see this and be able to congratulate you. Here's a [rap video for celebration](
tl;dr: "I say hell ya. Hell ya, hell ya. Fucking right, fucking right." | It's Saturday and I worry no one else will see this and be able to congratulate you. Here's a [rap video for celebration](
tl;dr: "I say hell ya. Hell ya, hell ya. Fucking right, fucking right."
| AskHistorians | t5_2ssp3 | cd54c46 | It's Saturday and I worry no one else will see this and be able to congratulate you. Here's a [rap video for celebration]( | I say hell ya. Hell ya, hell ya. Fucking right, fucking right." |
surprisinglyminty | Sort of in a sticky sit. right now.
MY current squad in a 12 team. std scoring format.
QB:Brady
WR:AJGreen, VJackson, Garcon, KAllen, Douglass, Decker
RB: Moreno, TRichardson, MLynch, Woodhead
TE: Gonzelez, Reed
K: Hauschka
DEF: SEA
So clearly I need an upgrade at QB and have some WR depth that is expendable.
I have a trade pending **MY Douglass+Allen for HIS Antonio Brown** I *know* for sure that there are 3 votes against this trade right now and I could potentially the one that could cancel it...
I also have a trade offered to me, **MY Brady+TRichardson for HIS Cam Newton** I really like this trade but it would mean that I would be rolling with Brady this week again.
I essentially am in need of roster space and that is what caused me to accept the initial Brown for Allen/Douglass trade.
Locker and McClown are available on WW...Percy Harvin was just dropped by a team stricken with the Bye bug...
What to do my fellow redditors?
As far as I see it: I could veto the Antonio trade and roll with Brady this week and accept the Newton trade Sunday night.
OR I could pick up Locker after I free up the space bringing in Antonio. Then I could potentially pick up Newton? as well as pick up Percy? leaving one space for streaming...
**tl:dr**
I have two trades at me. In need of QB(brady sucks) but no roster space. Could veto pending AntonioBrown for MY Allen/Douglas and roll with Brady? OR take Antonio and pick up Locker then pick up Cam. | Sort of in a sticky sit. right now.
MY current squad in a 12 team. std scoring format.
QB:Brady
WR:AJGreen, VJackson, Garcon, KAllen, Douglass, Decker
RB: Moreno, TRichardson, MLynch, Woodhead
TE: Gonzelez, Reed
K: Hauschka
DEF: SEA
So clearly I need an upgrade at QB and have some WR depth that is expendable.
I have a trade pending MY Douglass+Allen for HIS Antonio Brown I know for sure that there are 3 votes against this trade right now and I could potentially the one that could cancel it...
I also have a trade offered to me, MY Brady+TRichardson for HIS Cam Newton I really like this trade but it would mean that I would be rolling with Brady this week again.
I essentially am in need of roster space and that is what caused me to accept the initial Brown for Allen/Douglass trade.
Locker and McClown are available on WW...Percy Harvin was just dropped by a team stricken with the Bye bug...
What to do my fellow redditors?
As far as I see it: I could veto the Antonio trade and roll with Brady this week and accept the Newton trade Sunday night.
OR I could pick up Locker after I free up the space bringing in Antonio. Then I could potentially pick up Newton? as well as pick up Percy? leaving one space for streaming...
tl:dr
I have two trades at me. In need of QB(brady sucks) but no roster space. Could veto pending AntonioBrown for MY Allen/Douglas and roll with Brady? OR take Antonio and pick up Locker then pick up Cam.
| fantasyfootball | t5_2qlqq | cd4eu4t | Sort of in a sticky sit. right now.
MY current squad in a 12 team. std scoring format.
QB:Brady
WR:AJGreen, VJackson, Garcon, KAllen, Douglass, Decker
RB: Moreno, TRichardson, MLynch, Woodhead
TE: Gonzelez, Reed
K: Hauschka
DEF: SEA
So clearly I need an upgrade at QB and have some WR depth that is expendable.
I have a trade pending MY Douglass+Allen for HIS Antonio Brown I know for sure that there are 3 votes against this trade right now and I could potentially the one that could cancel it...
I also have a trade offered to me, MY Brady+TRichardson for HIS Cam Newton I really like this trade but it would mean that I would be rolling with Brady this week again.
I essentially am in need of roster space and that is what caused me to accept the initial Brown for Allen/Douglass trade.
Locker and McClown are available on WW...Percy Harvin was just dropped by a team stricken with the Bye bug...
What to do my fellow redditors?
As far as I see it: I could veto the Antonio trade and roll with Brady this week and accept the Newton trade Sunday night.
OR I could pick up Locker after I free up the space bringing in Antonio. Then I could potentially pick up Newton? as well as pick up Percy? leaving one space for streaming... | I have two trades at me. In need of QB(brady sucks) but no roster space. Could veto pending AntonioBrown for MY Allen/Douglas and roll with Brady? OR take Antonio and pick up Locker then pick up Cam. |
ztrvz | A buddy in my league has CJ Spiller. He wants my T. Rich. T. Rich has been an eyesore in my lineup. Do you think, that moving forward, even though neither has proven themselves, CJ Spiller might be a positive replacement? My RB Situation isn't the greatest. I have T. Rich, LeVeon Bell, and Lamar Miller. 12 team, standard Yahoo league.
tldr: Straight up trade Trent Richardson for CJ Spiller? | A buddy in my league has CJ Spiller. He wants my T. Rich. T. Rich has been an eyesore in my lineup. Do you think, that moving forward, even though neither has proven themselves, CJ Spiller might be a positive replacement? My RB Situation isn't the greatest. I have T. Rich, LeVeon Bell, and Lamar Miller. 12 team, standard Yahoo league.
tldr: Straight up trade Trent Richardson for CJ Spiller?
| fantasyfootball | t5_2qlqq | cd4h18b | A buddy in my league has CJ Spiller. He wants my T. Rich. T. Rich has been an eyesore in my lineup. Do you think, that moving forward, even though neither has proven themselves, CJ Spiller might be a positive replacement? My RB Situation isn't the greatest. I have T. Rich, LeVeon Bell, and Lamar Miller. 12 team, standard Yahoo league. | Straight up trade Trent Richardson for CJ Spiller? |
dingopirate3000 | >It's totally fine to not like a system, but at the end of the day, point number one is a totally acceptable answer.
I would pose that this depends on who you are talking to. If you are only interested in playing a game and having a good time, this it completely acceptable. However, if you are interested in evaluating the system, this is an unacceptable answer-- it is possible for something to be objectively good or bad despite one's opinions on it, and until we can accept that our dialog about games, and therefore our games themselves, will have difficulty advancing.
>Why not change a game to play the way you like? I do it in nWoD all the time. Still my favorite system.
Again, it is totally fine and encouraged to change the game to play the way you want, but one shouldn't judge a game's quality and merits based on house rules. You can take a bad game (and I'm not saying nWoD is bad) and make it totally playable with great house rules, but how much does it resemble the printed game? If the answer is not much, then the game can be bad despite your enjoying it.
-TL;DR: It depends on who you're talking to, and why. | >It's totally fine to not like a system, but at the end of the day, point number one is a totally acceptable answer.
I would pose that this depends on who you are talking to. If you are only interested in playing a game and having a good time, this it completely acceptable. However, if you are interested in evaluating the system, this is an unacceptable answer-- it is possible for something to be objectively good or bad despite one's opinions on it, and until we can accept that our dialog about games, and therefore our games themselves, will have difficulty advancing.
>Why not change a game to play the way you like? I do it in nWoD all the time. Still my favorite system.
Again, it is totally fine and encouraged to change the game to play the way you want, but one shouldn't judge a game's quality and merits based on house rules. You can take a bad game (and I'm not saying nWoD is bad) and make it totally playable with great house rules, but how much does it resemble the printed game? If the answer is not much, then the game can be bad despite your enjoying it.
-TL;DR: It depends on who you're talking to, and why.
| rpg | t5_2qh2s | cd4fiwn | It's totally fine to not like a system, but at the end of the day, point number one is a totally acceptable answer.
I would pose that this depends on who you are talking to. If you are only interested in playing a game and having a good time, this it completely acceptable. However, if you are interested in evaluating the system, this is an unacceptable answer-- it is possible for something to be objectively good or bad despite one's opinions on it, and until we can accept that our dialog about games, and therefore our games themselves, will have difficulty advancing.
>Why not change a game to play the way you like? I do it in nWoD all the time. Still my favorite system.
Again, it is totally fine and encouraged to change the game to play the way you want, but one shouldn't judge a game's quality and merits based on house rules. You can take a bad game (and I'm not saying nWoD is bad) and make it totally playable with great house rules, but how much does it resemble the printed game? If the answer is not much, then the game can be bad despite your enjoying it.
- | It depends on who you're talking to, and why. |
supitsLoki | Here are all the BRG cards that mention the word enchantment in standard. Also, for monored, "bring its owner to 0 life" is the best answer, if you don't like that route, that's okay, but considering the fact that there are no red or black cards that remove enchantments in standard right now: as well as the recent success of RDW, Red Devotion, and Gr devotion, that seems to be working out just fine.
When you ask for the "recommended option" for something, you probably shouldn't tell people that THE way to do it isn't helpful.
TL;DR:
> What is the recommended option for a monored or rakdos, or even a jund deck to remove a god?
Green has some enchantment removal, black has Thoughtseize.
> And saying "bring its owner to 0 life" isn't a helpful answer.
Considering that's the only way to do it without playing green, it *is* a helpful answer. | Here are all the BRG cards that mention the word enchantment in standard. Also, for monored, "bring its owner to 0 life" is the best answer, if you don't like that route, that's okay, but considering the fact that there are no red or black cards that remove enchantments in standard right now: as well as the recent success of RDW, Red Devotion, and Gr devotion, that seems to be working out just fine.
When you ask for the "recommended option" for something, you probably shouldn't tell people that THE way to do it isn't helpful.
TL;DR:
> What is the recommended option for a monored or rakdos, or even a jund deck to remove a god?
Green has some enchantment removal, black has Thoughtseize.
> And saying "bring its owner to 0 life" isn't a helpful answer.
Considering that's the only way to do it without playing green, it is a helpful answer.
| magicTCG | t5_2qn5f | cd537vt | Here are all the BRG cards that mention the word enchantment in standard. Also, for monored, "bring its owner to 0 life" is the best answer, if you don't like that route, that's okay, but considering the fact that there are no red or black cards that remove enchantments in standard right now: as well as the recent success of RDW, Red Devotion, and Gr devotion, that seems to be working out just fine.
When you ask for the "recommended option" for something, you probably shouldn't tell people that THE way to do it isn't helpful. | What is the recommended option for a monored or rakdos, or even a jund deck to remove a god?
Green has some enchantment removal, black has Thoughtseize.
> And saying "bring its owner to 0 life" isn't a helpful answer.
Considering that's the only way to do it without playing green, it is a helpful answer. |
sushislushie | Watching the episode I feel like they have to know what kind of image they're giving Rob when he's saying all this shit to Cory. Everything on these shows are staged for viewership and ratings. The fact Chris stayed so long was probably (read: definitely) staged because the numbers can be fluked any which way the producers want, and Chris made for good television because dramazzzzzzz. So, why are they making Rob look like a douche? Or better, why is Rob letting them make him look like a douche?
TLDR: Rob is a douche. | Watching the episode I feel like they have to know what kind of image they're giving Rob when he's saying all this shit to Cory. Everything on these shows are staged for viewership and ratings. The fact Chris stayed so long was probably (read: definitely) staged because the numbers can be fluked any which way the producers want, and Chris made for good television because dramazzzzzzz. So, why are they making Rob look like a douche? Or better, why is Rob letting them make him look like a douche?
TLDR: Rob is a douche.
| ANTM | t5_2scrx | cd4z57j | Watching the episode I feel like they have to know what kind of image they're giving Rob when he's saying all this shit to Cory. Everything on these shows are staged for viewership and ratings. The fact Chris stayed so long was probably (read: definitely) staged because the numbers can be fluked any which way the producers want, and Chris made for good television because dramazzzzzzz. So, why are they making Rob look like a douche? Or better, why is Rob letting them make him look like a douche? | Rob is a douche. |
thegreatunclean | It's utter bs. Your GPU isn't signaling the monitor to change 300 times a second, and even if it tried your monitor cannot refresh the entire screen that fast. Standard monitor refresh rate is under 100Hz, usually either 60 or 75. If you toggle vsync to avoid tearing then anything above that native refresh rate is wasted, if you don't then you'll get a bunch of tearing and still no advantage.
tl;dr: running at 300FPS doesn't gain you any advantage compared to the guy running 60FPS, and the guy running 60FPS is going to enjoy the eyecandy along the way instead of looking at washed out blocks. | It's utter bs. Your GPU isn't signaling the monitor to change 300 times a second, and even if it tried your monitor cannot refresh the entire screen that fast. Standard monitor refresh rate is under 100Hz, usually either 60 or 75. If you toggle vsync to avoid tearing then anything above that native refresh rate is wasted, if you don't then you'll get a bunch of tearing and still no advantage.
tl;dr: running at 300FPS doesn't gain you any advantage compared to the guy running 60FPS, and the guy running 60FPS is going to enjoy the eyecandy along the way instead of looking at washed out blocks.
| gaming | t5_2qh03 | cd51c86 | It's utter bs. Your GPU isn't signaling the monitor to change 300 times a second, and even if it tried your monitor cannot refresh the entire screen that fast. Standard monitor refresh rate is under 100Hz, usually either 60 or 75. If you toggle vsync to avoid tearing then anything above that native refresh rate is wasted, if you don't then you'll get a bunch of tearing and still no advantage. | running at 300FPS doesn't gain you any advantage compared to the guy running 60FPS, and the guy running 60FPS is going to enjoy the eyecandy along the way instead of looking at washed out blocks. |
Straightenthefuckup | Let me preface this by saying that there will be a great deal of profanity and general stuff you may not want to hear in this reply, so if you don't want to read that, stop reading right now.
You need to straighten up. You're goddamned 15 years old, this doesn't matter. In the grand scheme of things everything changes so fast when you're young that shit doesn't matter. Think about it: You're probably a freshman, that means that you're in high school now for the first time. You probably kept a few friends from middle school, but some of those friends go to different schools now, and now you have a whole new set of people to befriend in high school. In just a couple short years (less than a quarter of your current lifetime, and about 1/20th of the total time you can expect to spend in this life) you will be going to college. Holy Shit! What a concept! You won't have your parents around, you will have MAYBE 10 friends from your high school, if you're lucky, at that same college with you. Now EVERYTHING has changed. Then, another 4 years later (1/20th of your life, again), you'll be in grad school or in the workforce. FUCKING SHIT, Everything is different again! New people you interact with, new expectations, new responsibilities, probably a new place of residence. Within 8 years, everyone and everything that you know will have changed. Twice.
Alright, so now we've made the rational decision that this is a rather unimportant event in the grand scheme of things. How can you get out of this behavioral pattern?
Well, let's start by looking at it from her point of view. She broke up with you. That means that she doesn't have the same feelings for you any more. So imagine how she feels now, when you send her texts and call her while crying. She broke up with you because she didn't want to deal with exactly this. She wanted to "find herself", which indicates to me that she probably has some underlying issues. She doesn't feel happy with herself or something similar. She doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship weighing her down while she deals with her own issues.
You yourself admitted that the two of you were "growing apart". Good observation, and a particularly important one to note in this scenario. No matter how good of a person someone is, how fucking amazing they are, that doesn't mean SHIT in a relationship compared to how well you get along and how much you have in common. The most objectively beautiful, wonderful, and all around great girl in the world statistically is not likely to share your interests (Given population statistics they probably don't even speak English!). Stop worrying about how good she is or how she's the best person you've ever met. That's unimportant.
Again, how you deal with this will determine what kind of person you are. If you want to be a strong individual, self-sufficient, and all of that good shit, just stop talking to her. At this point you have 0 chance of getting her back anytime soon. Almost any person will tell you that seeing someone cry and lose their shit is a major turn off because no-one wants to accept a relationship with the understanding that they'll deal with your emotional load as well as theirs. So you're out of the running. Don't use this as an excuse to feel sad or feel like you're a failure. Find something that you enjoy. Stop caring so much about what other people think about you. Quit giving a fuck. Start weightlifting, read as much as you can on the internet and all over about form and programming. Start with Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5. Go to the gym no matter what. How you lift should model how you live your life. Don't make excuses about not doing things, why you couldn't do something, and most importantly, don't blame other people. Find some other projects that you truly love. Try to get your pilot's license (If you like flying and have the money/time) join a sports team, start building a car and/or rebuilding engines for fun. Do something for YOU. Start growing a damned spine and giving a fuck about yourself. It does you no good to cry about her every night or mope around feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody else is going to cut you any slack for this shit, so don't cut yourself any slack either. Stop talking to her. Stop thinking about her, and stop FUCKING CALLING HER ON THE PHONE. If something triggers a memory, who gives a fuck? It's a fucking memory. It happened once. HAPPENED. It's not happening, it's not going to happen, it happened. It's done. You can't do shit about it now, so don't complain.
**TL;DR: Grow a spine and read the whole thing.** | Let me preface this by saying that there will be a great deal of profanity and general stuff you may not want to hear in this reply, so if you don't want to read that, stop reading right now.
You need to straighten up. You're goddamned 15 years old, this doesn't matter. In the grand scheme of things everything changes so fast when you're young that shit doesn't matter. Think about it: You're probably a freshman, that means that you're in high school now for the first time. You probably kept a few friends from middle school, but some of those friends go to different schools now, and now you have a whole new set of people to befriend in high school. In just a couple short years (less than a quarter of your current lifetime, and about 1/20th of the total time you can expect to spend in this life) you will be going to college. Holy Shit! What a concept! You won't have your parents around, you will have MAYBE 10 friends from your high school, if you're lucky, at that same college with you. Now EVERYTHING has changed. Then, another 4 years later (1/20th of your life, again), you'll be in grad school or in the workforce. FUCKING SHIT, Everything is different again! New people you interact with, new expectations, new responsibilities, probably a new place of residence. Within 8 years, everyone and everything that you know will have changed. Twice.
Alright, so now we've made the rational decision that this is a rather unimportant event in the grand scheme of things. How can you get out of this behavioral pattern?
Well, let's start by looking at it from her point of view. She broke up with you. That means that she doesn't have the same feelings for you any more. So imagine how she feels now, when you send her texts and call her while crying. She broke up with you because she didn't want to deal with exactly this. She wanted to "find herself", which indicates to me that she probably has some underlying issues. She doesn't feel happy with herself or something similar. She doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship weighing her down while she deals with her own issues.
You yourself admitted that the two of you were "growing apart". Good observation, and a particularly important one to note in this scenario. No matter how good of a person someone is, how fucking amazing they are, that doesn't mean SHIT in a relationship compared to how well you get along and how much you have in common. The most objectively beautiful, wonderful, and all around great girl in the world statistically is not likely to share your interests (Given population statistics they probably don't even speak English!). Stop worrying about how good she is or how she's the best person you've ever met. That's unimportant.
Again, how you deal with this will determine what kind of person you are. If you want to be a strong individual, self-sufficient, and all of that good shit, just stop talking to her. At this point you have 0 chance of getting her back anytime soon. Almost any person will tell you that seeing someone cry and lose their shit is a major turn off because no-one wants to accept a relationship with the understanding that they'll deal with your emotional load as well as theirs. So you're out of the running. Don't use this as an excuse to feel sad or feel like you're a failure. Find something that you enjoy. Stop caring so much about what other people think about you. Quit giving a fuck. Start weightlifting, read as much as you can on the internet and all over about form and programming. Start with Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5. Go to the gym no matter what. How you lift should model how you live your life. Don't make excuses about not doing things, why you couldn't do something, and most importantly, don't blame other people. Find some other projects that you truly love. Try to get your pilot's license (If you like flying and have the money/time) join a sports team, start building a car and/or rebuilding engines for fun. Do something for YOU. Start growing a damned spine and giving a fuck about yourself. It does you no good to cry about her every night or mope around feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody else is going to cut you any slack for this shit, so don't cut yourself any slack either. Stop talking to her. Stop thinking about her, and stop FUCKING CALLING HER ON THE PHONE. If something triggers a memory, who gives a fuck? It's a fucking memory. It happened once. HAPPENED. It's not happening, it's not going to happen, it happened. It's done. You can't do shit about it now, so don't complain.
TL;DR: Grow a spine and read the whole thing.
| relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | cd5aw9f | Let me preface this by saying that there will be a great deal of profanity and general stuff you may not want to hear in this reply, so if you don't want to read that, stop reading right now.
You need to straighten up. You're goddamned 15 years old, this doesn't matter. In the grand scheme of things everything changes so fast when you're young that shit doesn't matter. Think about it: You're probably a freshman, that means that you're in high school now for the first time. You probably kept a few friends from middle school, but some of those friends go to different schools now, and now you have a whole new set of people to befriend in high school. In just a couple short years (less than a quarter of your current lifetime, and about 1/20th of the total time you can expect to spend in this life) you will be going to college. Holy Shit! What a concept! You won't have your parents around, you will have MAYBE 10 friends from your high school, if you're lucky, at that same college with you. Now EVERYTHING has changed. Then, another 4 years later (1/20th of your life, again), you'll be in grad school or in the workforce. FUCKING SHIT, Everything is different again! New people you interact with, new expectations, new responsibilities, probably a new place of residence. Within 8 years, everyone and everything that you know will have changed. Twice.
Alright, so now we've made the rational decision that this is a rather unimportant event in the grand scheme of things. How can you get out of this behavioral pattern?
Well, let's start by looking at it from her point of view. She broke up with you. That means that she doesn't have the same feelings for you any more. So imagine how she feels now, when you send her texts and call her while crying. She broke up with you because she didn't want to deal with exactly this. She wanted to "find herself", which indicates to me that she probably has some underlying issues. She doesn't feel happy with herself or something similar. She doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship weighing her down while she deals with her own issues.
You yourself admitted that the two of you were "growing apart". Good observation, and a particularly important one to note in this scenario. No matter how good of a person someone is, how fucking amazing they are, that doesn't mean SHIT in a relationship compared to how well you get along and how much you have in common. The most objectively beautiful, wonderful, and all around great girl in the world statistically is not likely to share your interests (Given population statistics they probably don't even speak English!). Stop worrying about how good she is or how she's the best person you've ever met. That's unimportant.
Again, how you deal with this will determine what kind of person you are. If you want to be a strong individual, self-sufficient, and all of that good shit, just stop talking to her. At this point you have 0 chance of getting her back anytime soon. Almost any person will tell you that seeing someone cry and lose their shit is a major turn off because no-one wants to accept a relationship with the understanding that they'll deal with your emotional load as well as theirs. So you're out of the running. Don't use this as an excuse to feel sad or feel like you're a failure. Find something that you enjoy. Stop caring so much about what other people think about you. Quit giving a fuck. Start weightlifting, read as much as you can on the internet and all over about form and programming. Start with Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5. Go to the gym no matter what. How you lift should model how you live your life. Don't make excuses about not doing things, why you couldn't do something, and most importantly, don't blame other people. Find some other projects that you truly love. Try to get your pilot's license (If you like flying and have the money/time) join a sports team, start building a car and/or rebuilding engines for fun. Do something for YOU. Start growing a damned spine and giving a fuck about yourself. It does you no good to cry about her every night or mope around feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody else is going to cut you any slack for this shit, so don't cut yourself any slack either. Stop talking to her. Stop thinking about her, and stop FUCKING CALLING HER ON THE PHONE. If something triggers a memory, who gives a fuck? It's a fucking memory. It happened once. HAPPENED. It's not happening, it's not going to happen, it happened. It's done. You can't do shit about it now, so don't complain. | Grow a spine and read the whole thing. |
piepiepiebacon | Dear god, was that thing EVER washed? It looks as if it never even SAW a pillowcase. I have a egg crate pillow that's over 12 years old and still looks brand new compared to that thing.
A pillow cover (protector) is also a very good idea, and keeps pillows much cleaner then just using a pillowcase. I highly recommend a pillow protector and mattress protector to everyone, or you are pretty much sleeping in your own filth every night. Mattress protectors also help keep sheets on, which for a king size bed is needed. Keep in mind your skin is going to sleep on that...every...night. Over and over, dipping into your own filth. Your skin will love you for doing these two little things.
tl;dr Wash. Yo. Shit. Get pillow and mattress protectors, now. | Dear god, was that thing EVER washed? It looks as if it never even SAW a pillowcase. I have a egg crate pillow that's over 12 years old and still looks brand new compared to that thing.
A pillow cover (protector) is also a very good idea, and keeps pillows much cleaner then just using a pillowcase. I highly recommend a pillow protector and mattress protector to everyone, or you are pretty much sleeping in your own filth every night. Mattress protectors also help keep sheets on, which for a king size bed is needed. Keep in mind your skin is going to sleep on that...every...night. Over and over, dipping into your own filth. Your skin will love you for doing these two little things.
tl;dr Wash. Yo. Shit. Get pillow and mattress protectors, now.
| WTF | t5_2qh61 | cd5iqwx | Dear god, was that thing EVER washed? It looks as if it never even SAW a pillowcase. I have a egg crate pillow that's over 12 years old and still looks brand new compared to that thing.
A pillow cover (protector) is also a very good idea, and keeps pillows much cleaner then just using a pillowcase. I highly recommend a pillow protector and mattress protector to everyone, or you are pretty much sleeping in your own filth every night. Mattress protectors also help keep sheets on, which for a king size bed is needed. Keep in mind your skin is going to sleep on that...every...night. Over and over, dipping into your own filth. Your skin will love you for doing these two little things. | Wash. Yo. Shit. Get pillow and mattress protectors, now. |
Myster0 | Maybe the roof corrugations were larger than the cat was accustomed, somehow fooling its depth perception. i.e. it failed a WIS check.
Then perhaps it failed a DEX/Jump roll.
tl;dr Cat needs to re-roll his stats. | Maybe the roof corrugations were larger than the cat was accustomed, somehow fooling its depth perception. i.e. it failed a WIS check.
Then perhaps it failed a DEX/Jump roll.
tl;dr Cat needs to re-roll his stats.
| funny | t5_2qh33 | cd5oc2v | Maybe the roof corrugations were larger than the cat was accustomed, somehow fooling its depth perception. i.e. it failed a WIS check.
Then perhaps it failed a DEX/Jump roll. | Cat needs to re-roll his stats. |
Modest_Atlas | Yes, you can absolutely do it, and should keep on doing it. I'll admit I have always been somewhat naturally athletic, but I can empathize with you.
I never played lacrosse before Freshman year of high school, and I had to deal with the stuck-up douche bags that felt entitled to the sport because they had played for years before. I got those same looks and remarks when I showed up to pre-season practice, but I wanted to be there, badly, and I wasn't going to just give up. I found an abandoned tennis court and practiced like hell for the months leading up to tryouts. Every. Fucking. Day. Even when I couldn't feel my hands, I still practiced.
I made first string on JV that spring and never got any more shit. I did stop after junior year cause I couldn't deal with the assholes anymore, but I still keep my stick in my car to this day for when I do find someone willing to throw around. If you truly want to join the lacrosse team, don't half ass it. Give it everything, and find a fellow nerd to throw around with. Good luck to you.
TL;DR: YES YOU CAN | Yes, you can absolutely do it, and should keep on doing it. I'll admit I have always been somewhat naturally athletic, but I can empathize with you.
I never played lacrosse before Freshman year of high school, and I had to deal with the stuck-up douche bags that felt entitled to the sport because they had played for years before. I got those same looks and remarks when I showed up to pre-season practice, but I wanted to be there, badly, and I wasn't going to just give up. I found an abandoned tennis court and practiced like hell for the months leading up to tryouts. Every. Fucking. Day. Even when I couldn't feel my hands, I still practiced.
I made first string on JV that spring and never got any more shit. I did stop after junior year cause I couldn't deal with the assholes anymore, but I still keep my stick in my car to this day for when I do find someone willing to throw around. If you truly want to join the lacrosse team, don't half ass it. Give it everything, and find a fellow nerd to throw around with. Good luck to you.
TL;DR: YES YOU CAN
| offmychest | t5_2ranw | cd5kpd4 | Yes, you can absolutely do it, and should keep on doing it. I'll admit I have always been somewhat naturally athletic, but I can empathize with you.
I never played lacrosse before Freshman year of high school, and I had to deal with the stuck-up douche bags that felt entitled to the sport because they had played for years before. I got those same looks and remarks when I showed up to pre-season practice, but I wanted to be there, badly, and I wasn't going to just give up. I found an abandoned tennis court and practiced like hell for the months leading up to tryouts. Every. Fucking. Day. Even when I couldn't feel my hands, I still practiced.
I made first string on JV that spring and never got any more shit. I did stop after junior year cause I couldn't deal with the assholes anymore, but I still keep my stick in my car to this day for when I do find someone willing to throw around. If you truly want to join the lacrosse team, don't half ass it. Give it everything, and find a fellow nerd to throw around with. Good luck to you. | YES YOU CAN |
Katana__ | [Emailing users their password?]( Really?
[...sha256?]( ***REALLY?***
`require 'randpass'` ...wait a minute, I wonder how it's obtaining randomness...oh, [according to this source code]( `Math.random()`. Which is old. And wrong. [Crypto.randomBytes]( and [Crypto.pseudoRandomBytes]( were implemented to give safer, less predictable sources of random data in node modules.
---
**THIS ISN'T 2006, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!**
Use purpose built password hashing algorithms (bcrypt, scrypt, BOTH ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE IN NPM) and obey sane security practices. Wtf people - these are simple fundamentals of secure application design!
*/rant*
**tl;dr:** This library may be simple but it is not safe. | [Emailing users their password?]( Really?
[...sha256?]( REALLY?
require 'randpass' ...wait a minute, I wonder how it's obtaining randomness...oh, according to this source code `. Which is old. And wrong. [Crypto.randomBytes]( and [Crypto.pseudoRandomBytes]( were implemented to give safer, less predictable sources of random data in node modules.
THIS ISN'T 2006, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
Use purpose built password hashing algorithms (bcrypt, scrypt, BOTH ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE IN NPM) and obey sane security practices. Wtf people - these are simple fundamentals of secure application design!
/rant
tl;dr: This library may be simple but it is not safe.
| node | t5_2reca | cd5mlt2 | Emailing users their password?]( Really?
[...sha256?]( REALLY?
require 'randpass' ...wait a minute, I wonder how it's obtaining randomness...oh, according to this source code `. Which is old. And wrong. [Crypto.randomBytes]( and [Crypto.pseudoRandomBytes]( were implemented to give safer, less predictable sources of random data in node modules.
THIS ISN'T 2006, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
Use purpose built password hashing algorithms (bcrypt, scrypt, BOTH ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE IN NPM) and obey sane security practices. Wtf people - these are simple fundamentals of secure application design!
/rant | This library may be simple but it is not safe. |
HothMonster | Online speeds seem to be capped. I was driving from the north of the map into the city with two buddies. I was in a fully modded Sultan and they were in heavily modified RH8 and Bullet, we all topped out and were neck in neck the whole trip into town.
Since then I have asked people to check their stats page and see the highest speed for their online character, the highest anyone ever says in ~135. All three of my single player characters have exceeded that speed according to their stats.
I'm betting they have capped online speed either because Online mode takes resources away from rendering* or their are latency issues that would make it difficult for clients to accurately relay their location to other clients over the network.
*Ride as a passenger in a car and aim backwards while the driver gets up to top speed. Swing the camera around to the front and the world will not be loaded in. In single player I have only been able to recreate this once and I was going ludicrously fast in an Adder.
TL:DR Redo your tests in single player. | Online speeds seem to be capped. I was driving from the north of the map into the city with two buddies. I was in a fully modded Sultan and they were in heavily modified RH8 and Bullet, we all topped out and were neck in neck the whole trip into town.
Since then I have asked people to check their stats page and see the highest speed for their online character, the highest anyone ever says in ~135. All three of my single player characters have exceeded that speed according to their stats.
I'm betting they have capped online speed either because Online mode takes resources away from rendering* or their are latency issues that would make it difficult for clients to accurately relay their location to other clients over the network.
*Ride as a passenger in a car and aim backwards while the driver gets up to top speed. Swing the camera around to the front and the world will not be loaded in. In single player I have only been able to recreate this once and I was going ludicrously fast in an Adder.
TL:DR Redo your tests in single player.
| GrandTheftAutoV | t5_2t0xk | cd6sdhm | Online speeds seem to be capped. I was driving from the north of the map into the city with two buddies. I was in a fully modded Sultan and they were in heavily modified RH8 and Bullet, we all topped out and were neck in neck the whole trip into town.
Since then I have asked people to check their stats page and see the highest speed for their online character, the highest anyone ever says in ~135. All three of my single player characters have exceeded that speed according to their stats.
I'm betting they have capped online speed either because Online mode takes resources away from rendering* or their are latency issues that would make it difficult for clients to accurately relay their location to other clients over the network.
*Ride as a passenger in a car and aim backwards while the driver gets up to top speed. Swing the camera around to the front and the world will not be loaded in. In single player I have only been able to recreate this once and I was going ludicrously fast in an Adder. | Redo your tests in single player. |
Tootsiesclaw | Back at the start of 2012, I was on a friend's server, and trying to find out how rare mushroom biomes were. This led me to the Minecraft Wiki, from where I discovered Far Lands or Bust and Kurt. I subbed to Kurt but didn't watch any of his videos until UHC 7 was about halfway through, and since then I've been hooked.
Strangely, I seem to remember watching some of Guude's older videos a while before, and I also used to watch PSJ, but for whatever reason I never really got into Mindcrack before then.
TL;DR Kurt in UHC 7 | Back at the start of 2012, I was on a friend's server, and trying to find out how rare mushroom biomes were. This led me to the Minecraft Wiki, from where I discovered Far Lands or Bust and Kurt. I subbed to Kurt but didn't watch any of his videos until UHC 7 was about halfway through, and since then I've been hooked.
Strangely, I seem to remember watching some of Guude's older videos a while before, and I also used to watch PSJ, but for whatever reason I never really got into Mindcrack before then.
TL;DR Kurt in UHC 7
| mindcrack | t5_2to85 | cd5usl9 | Back at the start of 2012, I was on a friend's server, and trying to find out how rare mushroom biomes were. This led me to the Minecraft Wiki, from where I discovered Far Lands or Bust and Kurt. I subbed to Kurt but didn't watch any of his videos until UHC 7 was about halfway through, and since then I've been hooked.
Strangely, I seem to remember watching some of Guude's older videos a while before, and I also used to watch PSJ, but for whatever reason I never really got into Mindcrack before then. | Kurt in UHC 7 |
Drakonzo | There has been plenty of these posts in the past 11 months. Reddit's search function is just garbage.
I'll answer anyways cause I love this kind of stuff and I have never given an in depth answer.
Way back in the day I had a mountain base (for frame of reference I made the world a few months before the nether update). I covered every square inch I could with trees so I had very little surface area for a wheat farm. Without bread back then you were pretty much fucked. Passive mobs were random spawns and breeding had not yet been introduced. I probably could have just wandered around and killed mobs but instead I just used a crappy little wheat farm for all my food. After a while I became fed up with this and decided to do a bit of research, I looked up something something pigs something something on google and this led me to youtube. Somehow I ended up finding Etho as he had been testing passive mob spawning. His videos really helped me improve my world and after that I was hooked and watched him religiously; even after I no longer played the game - I had quit when an update borked my first world and came back to it when they added jungles.
After quite some time he ended up joining Mindcrack. It seemed pretty cool but Etho didn't take it seriously IMO and a lot of the guys made content I wasn't interested in. I did try to watch Guude but the man uploaded way too often and I did not have the time to keep up with him. I would miss a few days of Guudes content and then feel like I was way behind. I was watching Docm but he was a lot like Etho and he seemed lost in the server environment, so I mainly stuck to his world tour stuff.
All that changed when Bdubs started the arena. Etho visited him to give him steak and that was the first time I saw someone else on the server doing something I could be invested in. The arena was amazing, such a big project and Bdubs worked so hard on it that it just got better and better every episode. This was sort of a signal to me that Mindcrack had a lot of potential that I was missing out on because I stayed in my little comfort zone and only watched Etho's content.
I started branching out all the time with a video here and there from Beef and Zisteau and Guude and after a while I started taking the whole Mindcrack thing seriously. Then the B-team and the trial happened and that only strengthened my interest in the group. I have been a pretty big fan ever since and I don't plan on stopping any time soon.
**TL;DR** *Minecraft -> Passive mob spawning -> Etho -> Mindcrack -> The Arena -> Bdubs -> B-team -> The Trial -> huge fan of Mindcrack as a whole* | There has been plenty of these posts in the past 11 months. Reddit's search function is just garbage.
I'll answer anyways cause I love this kind of stuff and I have never given an in depth answer.
Way back in the day I had a mountain base (for frame of reference I made the world a few months before the nether update). I covered every square inch I could with trees so I had very little surface area for a wheat farm. Without bread back then you were pretty much fucked. Passive mobs were random spawns and breeding had not yet been introduced. I probably could have just wandered around and killed mobs but instead I just used a crappy little wheat farm for all my food. After a while I became fed up with this and decided to do a bit of research, I looked up something something pigs something something on google and this led me to youtube. Somehow I ended up finding Etho as he had been testing passive mob spawning. His videos really helped me improve my world and after that I was hooked and watched him religiously; even after I no longer played the game - I had quit when an update borked my first world and came back to it when they added jungles.
After quite some time he ended up joining Mindcrack. It seemed pretty cool but Etho didn't take it seriously IMO and a lot of the guys made content I wasn't interested in. I did try to watch Guude but the man uploaded way too often and I did not have the time to keep up with him. I would miss a few days of Guudes content and then feel like I was way behind. I was watching Docm but he was a lot like Etho and he seemed lost in the server environment, so I mainly stuck to his world tour stuff.
All that changed when Bdubs started the arena. Etho visited him to give him steak and that was the first time I saw someone else on the server doing something I could be invested in. The arena was amazing, such a big project and Bdubs worked so hard on it that it just got better and better every episode. This was sort of a signal to me that Mindcrack had a lot of potential that I was missing out on because I stayed in my little comfort zone and only watched Etho's content.
I started branching out all the time with a video here and there from Beef and Zisteau and Guude and after a while I started taking the whole Mindcrack thing seriously. Then the B-team and the trial happened and that only strengthened my interest in the group. I have been a pretty big fan ever since and I don't plan on stopping any time soon.
TL;DR Minecraft -> Passive mob spawning -> Etho -> Mindcrack -> The Arena -> Bdubs -> B-team -> The Trial -> huge fan of Mindcrack as a whole
| mindcrack | t5_2to85 | cd5v73j | There has been plenty of these posts in the past 11 months. Reddit's search function is just garbage.
I'll answer anyways cause I love this kind of stuff and I have never given an in depth answer.
Way back in the day I had a mountain base (for frame of reference I made the world a few months before the nether update). I covered every square inch I could with trees so I had very little surface area for a wheat farm. Without bread back then you were pretty much fucked. Passive mobs were random spawns and breeding had not yet been introduced. I probably could have just wandered around and killed mobs but instead I just used a crappy little wheat farm for all my food. After a while I became fed up with this and decided to do a bit of research, I looked up something something pigs something something on google and this led me to youtube. Somehow I ended up finding Etho as he had been testing passive mob spawning. His videos really helped me improve my world and after that I was hooked and watched him religiously; even after I no longer played the game - I had quit when an update borked my first world and came back to it when they added jungles.
After quite some time he ended up joining Mindcrack. It seemed pretty cool but Etho didn't take it seriously IMO and a lot of the guys made content I wasn't interested in. I did try to watch Guude but the man uploaded way too often and I did not have the time to keep up with him. I would miss a few days of Guudes content and then feel like I was way behind. I was watching Docm but he was a lot like Etho and he seemed lost in the server environment, so I mainly stuck to his world tour stuff.
All that changed when Bdubs started the arena. Etho visited him to give him steak and that was the first time I saw someone else on the server doing something I could be invested in. The arena was amazing, such a big project and Bdubs worked so hard on it that it just got better and better every episode. This was sort of a signal to me that Mindcrack had a lot of potential that I was missing out on because I stayed in my little comfort zone and only watched Etho's content.
I started branching out all the time with a video here and there from Beef and Zisteau and Guude and after a while I started taking the whole Mindcrack thing seriously. Then the B-team and the trial happened and that only strengthened my interest in the group. I have been a pretty big fan ever since and I don't plan on stopping any time soon. | Minecraft -> Passive mob spawning -> Etho -> Mindcrack -> The Arena -> Bdubs -> B-team -> The Trial -> huge fan of Mindcrack as a whole |
Essena_Solick | Of course you need a Windows installation disc (or an ISO image of one) in order to install Windows. Imagine the newly created VM is the same as a PC with a blank hard disk.
You didn't ask this but I'm telling you anyway: support for Windows XP ends in 2014. After that it will become a security liability.
Microsoft offers discounts to students.
**TL;DR:** Yes, you need a Windows install disc or ISO. | Of course you need a Windows installation disc (or an ISO image of one) in order to install Windows. Imagine the newly created VM is the same as a PC with a blank hard disk.
You didn't ask this but I'm telling you anyway: support for Windows XP ends in 2014. After that it will become a security liability.
Microsoft offers discounts to students.
TL;DR: Yes, you need a Windows install disc or ISO.
| Ubuntu | t5_2qh62 | cd60rmp | Of course you need a Windows installation disc (or an ISO image of one) in order to install Windows. Imagine the newly created VM is the same as a PC with a blank hard disk.
You didn't ask this but I'm telling you anyway: support for Windows XP ends in 2014. After that it will become a security liability.
Microsoft offers discounts to students. | Yes, you need a Windows install disc or ISO. |
QuarterPunch | UPDATE (for those of you missing out on my first comment): Reply to this comment with the correct score for the game, and win reddit gold on the 8th! (I'll try to get it sooner). My wife and I just found a babysitter, so we are going to go see Ender's game! I will gift reddit gold to anyone (even multiple people) who CORRECTLY predict the score! Resubmit your choice I am feeling VERY generous tonight (I have been wanting to see the movie since I heard of the release! But I didn't really think we would find a babysitter)!
TL;DR: I am getting sex tonight, one of you deserves reddit gold, just give me the right score!
EDIT: While the movie stayed faithful to the books, I cannot stay faithful to this comment... As I see most of you have figured out. But I will however gift gold to the first three which responded. Lol I was drunk. It was worth it! | UPDATE (for those of you missing out on my first comment): Reply to this comment with the correct score for the game, and win reddit gold on the 8th! (I'll try to get it sooner). My wife and I just found a babysitter, so we are going to go see Ender's game! I will gift reddit gold to anyone (even multiple people) who CORRECTLY predict the score! Resubmit your choice I am feeling VERY generous tonight (I have been wanting to see the movie since I heard of the release! But I didn't really think we would find a babysitter)!
TL;DR: I am getting sex tonight, one of you deserves reddit gold, just give me the right score!
EDIT: While the movie stayed faithful to the books, I cannot stay faithful to this comment... As I see most of you have figured out. But I will however gift gold to the first three which responded. Lol I was drunk. It was worth it!
| nfl | t5_2qmg3 | cd6a3p6 | UPDATE (for those of you missing out on my first comment): Reply to this comment with the correct score for the game, and win reddit gold on the 8th! (I'll try to get it sooner). My wife and I just found a babysitter, so we are going to go see Ender's game! I will gift reddit gold to anyone (even multiple people) who CORRECTLY predict the score! Resubmit your choice I am feeling VERY generous tonight (I have been wanting to see the movie since I heard of the release! But I didn't really think we would find a babysitter)! | I am getting sex tonight, one of you deserves reddit gold, just give me the right score!
EDIT: While the movie stayed faithful to the books, I cannot stay faithful to this comment... As I see most of you have figured out. But I will however gift gold to the first three which responded. Lol I was drunk. It was worth it! |
ms_ashes | I live in a duplex, so we share a basement/the stairs down to the basement.
My neighbors are really nice to us, but totally different to anything I'm used to. They quite often come and ask to borrow money--$10 or $20. We lend it to them, and they do always pay it back on their pay day.
However, they love to listen to music super loud in their side of the basement (their side is finished and has a bar and pool table and who knows what else) and it carries up through the floor to our living area. I don't mind too much except when it's 6 am (?!) or 11 pm. But it's so loud that any attempts to knock on the door are drowned out.
They also don't maintain their vehicles and are now on their third car since we've been here (only two years). I give them rides when their car is broken down. They always have friends (and enemies?! judging by all the "get the f--- off my property/out of my house!" yelling matches that happen) over, so there's always a ton of cars parked in the driveway.
Currently they have one of their nephews and his three-four year old son staying with them, even though their place is only one bedroom, just like ours. This is problematic for me in that the small child follows me when I go down to do my laundry, and comes into our closed off section of the basement even when I ask him not to. I'd normally be okay with a kid following me, but he pokes through the stuff I've got stored down there, and I don't like that. :( I've taken to immediately locking the door behind me so he can't come in (so annoying when I'm just going down to switch laundry from the washer to the dryer), so he instead stands outside our section and watches me through the cracks in the drywall and tells me he can see me. Sigh.
Previously, they had their brother/brother-in-law staying with him. He was also very nice to us, and apparently a mechanic. However, we have no garage, and our street is a dead end, and he decided he was going to be a one-man mechanic shop and actually got cars delivered from AAA to our driveway. One night, we came home to our single parking spot totally blocked off by a broken-down car and an extension cord plugged in to our outside outlet. o.o Luckily, as soon as our neighbors themselves saw what was going on, they got royally upset with the brother-mechanic-dude, and he no longer lives with them.
TL;DR: They're really sweet, nice people, but their lives seem totally crazy to me! | I live in a duplex, so we share a basement/the stairs down to the basement.
My neighbors are really nice to us, but totally different to anything I'm used to. They quite often come and ask to borrow money--$10 or $20. We lend it to them, and they do always pay it back on their pay day.
However, they love to listen to music super loud in their side of the basement (their side is finished and has a bar and pool table and who knows what else) and it carries up through the floor to our living area. I don't mind too much except when it's 6 am (?!) or 11 pm. But it's so loud that any attempts to knock on the door are drowned out.
They also don't maintain their vehicles and are now on their third car since we've been here (only two years). I give them rides when their car is broken down. They always have friends (and enemies?! judging by all the "get the f--- off my property/out of my house!" yelling matches that happen) over, so there's always a ton of cars parked in the driveway.
Currently they have one of their nephews and his three-four year old son staying with them, even though their place is only one bedroom, just like ours. This is problematic for me in that the small child follows me when I go down to do my laundry, and comes into our closed off section of the basement even when I ask him not to. I'd normally be okay with a kid following me, but he pokes through the stuff I've got stored down there, and I don't like that. :( I've taken to immediately locking the door behind me so he can't come in (so annoying when I'm just going down to switch laundry from the washer to the dryer), so he instead stands outside our section and watches me through the cracks in the drywall and tells me he can see me. Sigh.
Previously, they had their brother/brother-in-law staying with him. He was also very nice to us, and apparently a mechanic. However, we have no garage, and our street is a dead end, and he decided he was going to be a one-man mechanic shop and actually got cars delivered from AAA to our driveway. One night, we came home to our single parking spot totally blocked off by a broken-down car and an extension cord plugged in to our outside outlet. o.o Luckily, as soon as our neighbors themselves saw what was going on, they got royally upset with the brother-mechanic-dude, and he no longer lives with them.
TL;DR: They're really sweet, nice people, but their lives seem totally crazy to me!
| AskWomen | t5_2rxrw | cd6ryhc | I live in a duplex, so we share a basement/the stairs down to the basement.
My neighbors are really nice to us, but totally different to anything I'm used to. They quite often come and ask to borrow money--$10 or $20. We lend it to them, and they do always pay it back on their pay day.
However, they love to listen to music super loud in their side of the basement (their side is finished and has a bar and pool table and who knows what else) and it carries up through the floor to our living area. I don't mind too much except when it's 6 am (?!) or 11 pm. But it's so loud that any attempts to knock on the door are drowned out.
They also don't maintain their vehicles and are now on their third car since we've been here (only two years). I give them rides when their car is broken down. They always have friends (and enemies?! judging by all the "get the f--- off my property/out of my house!" yelling matches that happen) over, so there's always a ton of cars parked in the driveway.
Currently they have one of their nephews and his three-four year old son staying with them, even though their place is only one bedroom, just like ours. This is problematic for me in that the small child follows me when I go down to do my laundry, and comes into our closed off section of the basement even when I ask him not to. I'd normally be okay with a kid following me, but he pokes through the stuff I've got stored down there, and I don't like that. :( I've taken to immediately locking the door behind me so he can't come in (so annoying when I'm just going down to switch laundry from the washer to the dryer), so he instead stands outside our section and watches me through the cracks in the drywall and tells me he can see me. Sigh.
Previously, they had their brother/brother-in-law staying with him. He was also very nice to us, and apparently a mechanic. However, we have no garage, and our street is a dead end, and he decided he was going to be a one-man mechanic shop and actually got cars delivered from AAA to our driveway. One night, we came home to our single parking spot totally blocked off by a broken-down car and an extension cord plugged in to our outside outlet. o.o Luckily, as soon as our neighbors themselves saw what was going on, they got royally upset with the brother-mechanic-dude, and he no longer lives with them. | They're really sweet, nice people, but their lives seem totally crazy to me! |
SublimeSandwich | For my first year of university I lived in halls, and was put with two of the worst human beings I've ever met in my life. They grew up together so they developed this whole supremacist sort of attitude about themselves. They just treated me like shit and used pretty much any excuse to bully me.
They were nasty about my appearence, constantly telling me that my hairstyle was shit and that I needed new clothes. They tried to diagnose me with autism because I was awkward around them, but that was only because they turned pretty much everything I said into an insult. They even tried to bully me about silly things like making sandwiches for lunch and using flashcards for revision, just because they didn't agree with it. They'd constantly bang on my door until I let them in just so that they could mess up my room and go through my stuff.
I went to a house party once, and they decided to ring me and tell me that they'd broken into my room and were smashing everything up and going through personal stuff on my laptop, they hadn't actually broken in but they did write lots of nasty shit on my door in permenant marker. We had shared toilets too, so whenever I went to use them one of them liked to take videos of me and show them to his friends. They also broke into the shower once because they thought I was in there, but it was actually another person living with us, they still ended up taking a video and sending it to their friends.
There's probably some things I've missed, but they were definitely the worst things they did to me. In hindsight I should have requested to move to a different floor, they made me go into a deep depression and whenever I went home for Christmas and Easter I didn't want to come back. I actually reported them for what they did to my door, but they didn't respond well and tried to pressure me into retracting what I said, they still come up to me sometimes and ask me to apologise. I am glad to report that I am much happier now, still living in halls but with some decent guys who are actually really nice to me.
**tl;dr got put with bullies in university halls for first year, ended up feeling really depressed** | For my first year of university I lived in halls, and was put with two of the worst human beings I've ever met in my life. They grew up together so they developed this whole supremacist sort of attitude about themselves. They just treated me like shit and used pretty much any excuse to bully me.
They were nasty about my appearence, constantly telling me that my hairstyle was shit and that I needed new clothes. They tried to diagnose me with autism because I was awkward around them, but that was only because they turned pretty much everything I said into an insult. They even tried to bully me about silly things like making sandwiches for lunch and using flashcards for revision, just because they didn't agree with it. They'd constantly bang on my door until I let them in just so that they could mess up my room and go through my stuff.
I went to a house party once, and they decided to ring me and tell me that they'd broken into my room and were smashing everything up and going through personal stuff on my laptop, they hadn't actually broken in but they did write lots of nasty shit on my door in permenant marker. We had shared toilets too, so whenever I went to use them one of them liked to take videos of me and show them to his friends. They also broke into the shower once because they thought I was in there, but it was actually another person living with us, they still ended up taking a video and sending it to their friends.
There's probably some things I've missed, but they were definitely the worst things they did to me. In hindsight I should have requested to move to a different floor, they made me go into a deep depression and whenever I went home for Christmas and Easter I didn't want to come back. I actually reported them for what they did to my door, but they didn't respond well and tried to pressure me into retracting what I said, they still come up to me sometimes and ask me to apologise. I am glad to report that I am much happier now, still living in halls but with some decent guys who are actually really nice to me.
tl;dr got put with bullies in university halls for first year, ended up feeling really depressed
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd6xn45 | For my first year of university I lived in halls, and was put with two of the worst human beings I've ever met in my life. They grew up together so they developed this whole supremacist sort of attitude about themselves. They just treated me like shit and used pretty much any excuse to bully me.
They were nasty about my appearence, constantly telling me that my hairstyle was shit and that I needed new clothes. They tried to diagnose me with autism because I was awkward around them, but that was only because they turned pretty much everything I said into an insult. They even tried to bully me about silly things like making sandwiches for lunch and using flashcards for revision, just because they didn't agree with it. They'd constantly bang on my door until I let them in just so that they could mess up my room and go through my stuff.
I went to a house party once, and they decided to ring me and tell me that they'd broken into my room and were smashing everything up and going through personal stuff on my laptop, they hadn't actually broken in but they did write lots of nasty shit on my door in permenant marker. We had shared toilets too, so whenever I went to use them one of them liked to take videos of me and show them to his friends. They also broke into the shower once because they thought I was in there, but it was actually another person living with us, they still ended up taking a video and sending it to their friends.
There's probably some things I've missed, but they were definitely the worst things they did to me. In hindsight I should have requested to move to a different floor, they made me go into a deep depression and whenever I went home for Christmas and Easter I didn't want to come back. I actually reported them for what they did to my door, but they didn't respond well and tried to pressure me into retracting what I said, they still come up to me sometimes and ask me to apologise. I am glad to report that I am much happier now, still living in halls but with some decent guys who are actually really nice to me. | got put with bullies in university halls for first year, ended up feeling really depressed |
forwhombagels | No, you are not going to get busted down. I have no clue how they missed it. But if customs we're to have caught it you most likely would have just gotten a "love letter" from then saying how your parcel contained contraband and it were removed.
If they wanted to bust you in a "controlled delivery" you would have had received the package with no, and I mean NO trace whatsoever that they even opened a corner of it. But they would have opened it, replaced the substance with a false analog, and sealed up with no evidence of doing so. I mean there is no way of telling that it was altered. Then a postal inspection agent dressed as your mail man would deliver it, wait for you to sign or get it. Then then as soon as the parcel is in your possession, signal for a team to raid your house before you even had the chance to sign in to reddit.
tl;dr you are all set | No, you are not going to get busted down. I have no clue how they missed it. But if customs we're to have caught it you most likely would have just gotten a "love letter" from then saying how your parcel contained contraband and it were removed.
If they wanted to bust you in a "controlled delivery" you would have had received the package with no, and I mean NO trace whatsoever that they even opened a corner of it. But they would have opened it, replaced the substance with a false analog, and sealed up with no evidence of doing so. I mean there is no way of telling that it was altered. Then a postal inspection agent dressed as your mail man would deliver it, wait for you to sign or get it. Then then as soon as the parcel is in your possession, signal for a team to raid your house before you even had the chance to sign in to reddit.
tl;dr you are all set
| reloaded | t5_2yoid | cd6xylm | No, you are not going to get busted down. I have no clue how they missed it. But if customs we're to have caught it you most likely would have just gotten a "love letter" from then saying how your parcel contained contraband and it were removed.
If they wanted to bust you in a "controlled delivery" you would have had received the package with no, and I mean NO trace whatsoever that they even opened a corner of it. But they would have opened it, replaced the substance with a false analog, and sealed up with no evidence of doing so. I mean there is no way of telling that it was altered. Then a postal inspection agent dressed as your mail man would deliver it, wait for you to sign or get it. Then then as soon as the parcel is in your possession, signal for a team to raid your house before you even had the chance to sign in to reddit. | you are all set |
soulcaptain | Plans are being replaced, and yes, some of them are more expensive. But if you have to pay more for a new plan, understand something important: your previous plan was very very likely a piece of shit plan. If you had anything catastrophic or needed chronic care, your (soon to be) old plan *would NOT have covered that*. The ACA fixes this. Of course, being a counterfactual this is impossible to prove unless something happened to you, and if you are complaining about the rate increase then it's a sign you haven't had to deal. In other words, your insurance plan was like a glass house and you thought it was reinforced steel. The ACA gives you a real reinforced steel plan...or at least one better than glass.
AND note that these are private insurance companies raising rates; it really has nothing to do with the federal government. Health insurance companies *always* raise rates; that's how they make shareholders happy.
Also, this rate change/increase affects a quite small percentage of people, something like 4% or 5%. Not trivial, I know, but we need to keep things in perspective.
The truth is the ACA is so beneficial in so many ways, all this will be a hiccup in a few years time.
EDIT: tl;dr If your plan changed and/or is more expensive, that means you had a shitty plan. Now you are much, much safer if something goes wrong. | Plans are being replaced, and yes, some of them are more expensive. But if you have to pay more for a new plan, understand something important: your previous plan was very very likely a piece of shit plan. If you had anything catastrophic or needed chronic care, your (soon to be) old plan would NOT have covered that . The ACA fixes this. Of course, being a counterfactual this is impossible to prove unless something happened to you, and if you are complaining about the rate increase then it's a sign you haven't had to deal. In other words, your insurance plan was like a glass house and you thought it was reinforced steel. The ACA gives you a real reinforced steel plan...or at least one better than glass.
AND note that these are private insurance companies raising rates; it really has nothing to do with the federal government. Health insurance companies always raise rates; that's how they make shareholders happy.
Also, this rate change/increase affects a quite small percentage of people, something like 4% or 5%. Not trivial, I know, but we need to keep things in perspective.
The truth is the ACA is so beneficial in so many ways, all this will be a hiccup in a few years time.
EDIT: tl;dr If your plan changed and/or is more expensive, that means you had a shitty plan. Now you are much, much safer if something goes wrong.
| conservatives | t5_2qj2e | cd77nxw | Plans are being replaced, and yes, some of them are more expensive. But if you have to pay more for a new plan, understand something important: your previous plan was very very likely a piece of shit plan. If you had anything catastrophic or needed chronic care, your (soon to be) old plan would NOT have covered that . The ACA fixes this. Of course, being a counterfactual this is impossible to prove unless something happened to you, and if you are complaining about the rate increase then it's a sign you haven't had to deal. In other words, your insurance plan was like a glass house and you thought it was reinforced steel. The ACA gives you a real reinforced steel plan...or at least one better than glass.
AND note that these are private insurance companies raising rates; it really has nothing to do with the federal government. Health insurance companies always raise rates; that's how they make shareholders happy.
Also, this rate change/increase affects a quite small percentage of people, something like 4% or 5%. Not trivial, I know, but we need to keep things in perspective.
The truth is the ACA is so beneficial in so many ways, all this will be a hiccup in a few years time.
EDIT: | If your plan changed and/or is more expensive, that means you had a shitty plan. Now you are much, much safer if something goes wrong. |
Colonelwheel | Haha, it's definitely odd. At that point i'm actually *decent*. I think any bad games are on me at that point. My only trouble is that the sticks are pretty hard to push in. Absolutely impossible on the 360 controller.
Here's my battlelog:
0.6 k/d is pretty par for the course with me and shooters. I'm around 1.2 on halo 4 IIRC (I bought an adapter that let's me use my ps3 controller on the 360, and it let's me remap buttons so sprint = select button for me.) and 0.6 on Black Ops 2.
Not very good, but I love em. But! On Killzone 3 i'm actually good enough to surprise myself. Generally top of the leaderboard in games with nothing usually under 1.5 k/d. Slow paced shooters are definitely my stronger suit.
I think my success is dependent on pace of game, and how easily I can sprint combined.
TL;DR: Holding it that way is super comfortable for me. If I suck, it's my fault. | Haha, it's definitely odd. At that point i'm actually decent . I think any bad games are on me at that point. My only trouble is that the sticks are pretty hard to push in. Absolutely impossible on the 360 controller.
Here's my battlelog:
0.6 k/d is pretty par for the course with me and shooters. I'm around 1.2 on halo 4 IIRC (I bought an adapter that let's me use my ps3 controller on the 360, and it let's me remap buttons so sprint = select button for me.) and 0.6 on Black Ops 2.
Not very good, but I love em. But! On Killzone 3 i'm actually good enough to surprise myself. Generally top of the leaderboard in games with nothing usually under 1.5 k/d. Slow paced shooters are definitely my stronger suit.
I think my success is dependent on pace of game, and how easily I can sprint combined.
TL;DR: Holding it that way is super comfortable for me. If I suck, it's my fault.
| PS4 | t5_2rrlp | cd7my7x | Haha, it's definitely odd. At that point i'm actually decent . I think any bad games are on me at that point. My only trouble is that the sticks are pretty hard to push in. Absolutely impossible on the 360 controller.
Here's my battlelog:
0.6 k/d is pretty par for the course with me and shooters. I'm around 1.2 on halo 4 IIRC (I bought an adapter that let's me use my ps3 controller on the 360, and it let's me remap buttons so sprint = select button for me.) and 0.6 on Black Ops 2.
Not very good, but I love em. But! On Killzone 3 i'm actually good enough to surprise myself. Generally top of the leaderboard in games with nothing usually under 1.5 k/d. Slow paced shooters are definitely my stronger suit.
I think my success is dependent on pace of game, and how easily I can sprint combined. | Holding it that way is super comfortable for me. If I suck, it's my fault. |
ringringbananaphone | The Constitution: TL;DR Rights | The Constitution: TL;DR Rights
| politics | t5_2cneq | cd7kqex | The Constitution: | Rights |
KznG | 200g protein = 800 calories. 1000 calories left for fat and carbs! I'd up your calorie count. 1,800 is very little even for me... I'm a 5'10" 175 21yo male. Also make sure you're taking in enough healthy fats (nuts, fish oil, etc...) to keep your hormones in check. That'll help your attitude during your workouts and I'm think it helps maintain a good cortisol level or something (don't quote me on that) to help keep the fat off. And drink a lot water.
I tried a similar diet with calories just bit higher than 1800. It was great while the results came in, but I got constant mood swings and the carb cravings were insane. A balanced diet tweaked a bit to encompass more protein might get slower results, but you'll feel better and keep the gains.
TL;DR - Eat more. ~2500 calories probably. BUT KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK DUDE!! | 200g protein = 800 calories. 1000 calories left for fat and carbs! I'd up your calorie count. 1,800 is very little even for me... I'm a 5'10" 175 21yo male. Also make sure you're taking in enough healthy fats (nuts, fish oil, etc...) to keep your hormones in check. That'll help your attitude during your workouts and I'm think it helps maintain a good cortisol level or something (don't quote me on that) to help keep the fat off. And drink a lot water.
I tried a similar diet with calories just bit higher than 1800. It was great while the results came in, but I got constant mood swings and the carb cravings were insane. A balanced diet tweaked a bit to encompass more protein might get slower results, but you'll feel better and keep the gains.
TL;DR - Eat more. ~2500 calories probably. BUT KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK DUDE!!
| Fitness | t5_2qhx4 | cd7clpe | 200g protein = 800 calories. 1000 calories left for fat and carbs! I'd up your calorie count. 1,800 is very little even for me... I'm a 5'10" 175 21yo male. Also make sure you're taking in enough healthy fats (nuts, fish oil, etc...) to keep your hormones in check. That'll help your attitude during your workouts and I'm think it helps maintain a good cortisol level or something (don't quote me on that) to help keep the fat off. And drink a lot water.
I tried a similar diet with calories just bit higher than 1800. It was great while the results came in, but I got constant mood swings and the carb cravings were insane. A balanced diet tweaked a bit to encompass more protein might get slower results, but you'll feel better and keep the gains. | Eat more. ~2500 calories probably. BUT KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK DUDE!! |
blueskies21 | Presidents often say "I didn't know about it" when a scandal surfaces. Reagan did it, Clinton did it, and now Obama has done it. Politicians are politicians. The key is whether people believe it or not. If they do, the president survives, politically. If they don't he does not.
tldr: it's just politics. | Presidents often say "I didn't know about it" when a scandal surfaces. Reagan did it, Clinton did it, and now Obama has done it. Politicians are politicians. The key is whether people believe it or not. If they do, the president survives, politically. If they don't he does not.
tldr: it's just politics.
| explainlikeimfive | t5_2sokd | cd7k2wf | Presidents often say "I didn't know about it" when a scandal surfaces. Reagan did it, Clinton did it, and now Obama has done it. Politicians are politicians. The key is whether people believe it or not. If they do, the president survives, politically. If they don't he does not. | it's just politics. |
Wild_Marker | I play everything on PC. Currently playing State of Decay (woo finally!), next week I'm pumped for X:Rebirth. And I'm also hyped for the EU4 expansion, which seems nice. I actually played tons of EU4. Other than that, I guess I'll play AC4 when it shows up, people have been saying it doesn't suck as bad as AC3 so I might give it a shot, considering I always liked the series.
TL;DR If it exists on PC, I play it. Unless it's Mobas, MMOs, or CoD. Never played CoD, never will. | I play everything on PC. Currently playing State of Decay (woo finally!), next week I'm pumped for X:Rebirth. And I'm also hyped for the EU4 expansion, which seems nice. I actually played tons of EU4. Other than that, I guess I'll play AC4 when it shows up, people have been saying it doesn't suck as bad as AC3 so I might give it a shot, considering I always liked the series.
TL;DR If it exists on PC, I play it. Unless it's Mobas, MMOs, or CoD. Never played CoD, never will.
| totalwar | t5_2rq9c | cd7s0vo | I play everything on PC. Currently playing State of Decay (woo finally!), next week I'm pumped for X:Rebirth. And I'm also hyped for the EU4 expansion, which seems nice. I actually played tons of EU4. Other than that, I guess I'll play AC4 when it shows up, people have been saying it doesn't suck as bad as AC3 so I might give it a shot, considering I always liked the series. | If it exists on PC, I play it. Unless it's Mobas, MMOs, or CoD. Never played CoD, never will. |
TheGamecock | I say play the hot waiver QB until Rodgers comes back. Either that, or counter back without giving up a guy like Bush. Also, since byes are mostly over there may be a lot of guys that don't really need their backup QB taking up a roster spot. As a Peyton owner trying to make some roster space, I traded away Phillip Rivers & Nicks to get Alfred Morris (from the Rodgers owner). I was honestly just looking to sell PR for pretty cheap and almost made the same offer but for Andre Brown.
tl;dr - Look at rosters with a top 5 or so QB (Peyton, Cam, Stafford, Brees, etc) and see if they lucked out with a top 12-ish guy as their back up (like I ended up with Rivers). And you shouldn't have to give up so much to get them. | I say play the hot waiver QB until Rodgers comes back. Either that, or counter back without giving up a guy like Bush. Also, since byes are mostly over there may be a lot of guys that don't really need their backup QB taking up a roster spot. As a Peyton owner trying to make some roster space, I traded away Phillip Rivers & Nicks to get Alfred Morris (from the Rodgers owner). I was honestly just looking to sell PR for pretty cheap and almost made the same offer but for Andre Brown.
tl;dr - Look at rosters with a top 5 or so QB (Peyton, Cam, Stafford, Brees, etc) and see if they lucked out with a top 12-ish guy as their back up (like I ended up with Rivers). And you shouldn't have to give up so much to get them.
| fantasyfootball | t5_2qlqq | cd7ys57 | I say play the hot waiver QB until Rodgers comes back. Either that, or counter back without giving up a guy like Bush. Also, since byes are mostly over there may be a lot of guys that don't really need their backup QB taking up a roster spot. As a Peyton owner trying to make some roster space, I traded away Phillip Rivers & Nicks to get Alfred Morris (from the Rodgers owner). I was honestly just looking to sell PR for pretty cheap and almost made the same offer but for Andre Brown. | Look at rosters with a top 5 or so QB (Peyton, Cam, Stafford, Brees, etc) and see if they lucked out with a top 12-ish guy as their back up (like I ended up with Rivers). And you shouldn't have to give up so much to get them. |
settlers | Also, the more ice cream the world buys, the angrier sharks get; and thus more shark attacks.
TL;DR: Causation | Also, the more ice cream the world buys, the angrier sharks get; and thus more shark attacks.
TL;DR: Causation
| todayilearned | t5_2qqjc | cd82zf3 | Also, the more ice cream the world buys, the angrier sharks get; and thus more shark attacks. | Causation |
NijjioN | I do a 1hour 30 min commute every day by train then underground (London here).... it's alright in the mornings still totally mind numbing... if I didn't have my phone/reddit/music/audio books ect it would be 10x worse.
The thing is when I finish work and have to catch the train that I get I pretty much have to rush for it. I normally get there from 2 mins before it leaves till nearly getting stuck in the door while it closes. If I miss it I have to wait 20 mins for the next and for a commute that is annoying as hell.
TLDR: Got no one at home waiting for me anyway so why bother rushing aye? /foreveralone. | I do a 1hour 30 min commute every day by train then underground (London here).... it's alright in the mornings still totally mind numbing... if I didn't have my phone/reddit/music/audio books ect it would be 10x worse.
The thing is when I finish work and have to catch the train that I get I pretty much have to rush for it. I normally get there from 2 mins before it leaves till nearly getting stuck in the door while it closes. If I miss it I have to wait 20 mins for the next and for a commute that is annoying as hell.
TLDR: Got no one at home waiting for me anyway so why bother rushing aye? /foreveralone.
| todayilearned | t5_2qqjc | cd8cyw4 | I do a 1hour 30 min commute every day by train then underground (London here).... it's alright in the mornings still totally mind numbing... if I didn't have my phone/reddit/music/audio books ect it would be 10x worse.
The thing is when I finish work and have to catch the train that I get I pretty much have to rush for it. I normally get there from 2 mins before it leaves till nearly getting stuck in the door while it closes. If I miss it I have to wait 20 mins for the next and for a commute that is annoying as hell. | Got no one at home waiting for me anyway so why bother rushing aye? /foreveralone. |
rob0369 | I have been dying to tell this story for the past year. Last summer my wife decides to surprise me with a "good morning" blow job. We've been married for more than 15 years, so clearly this is not the norm. It doesn't take long and I blow this gigantic load into her mouth. She's a sport and tries her best to swallow, but its just too much and she jumps up to run to the bathroom and spit my load onto the sink before she gags on it. She misjudged her route and clips her pinky toe on the dresser. By clips, I mean slams with the full force of an Olympic sprinter. She hits the floor writhing in pain and somehow manages to not choke on my loador spit it everywhere. She crawls to the bathroom, mouth full of jizz and tears running down her face. I don't know whether to console her, laugh my ass off or be strangely impressed. We clean her up and she tries to tough it out. Two days later X-rays show its broken and she eventually ends up needing surgery to remove a piece of bone. She spent 3 months in a bright pink cast and we couldn't help snickering everything someone asked, "how'd you do that?"
TLDR; Good morning blow job puts wife in a cast. | I have been dying to tell this story for the past year. Last summer my wife decides to surprise me with a "good morning" blow job. We've been married for more than 15 years, so clearly this is not the norm. It doesn't take long and I blow this gigantic load into her mouth. She's a sport and tries her best to swallow, but its just too much and she jumps up to run to the bathroom and spit my load onto the sink before she gags on it. She misjudged her route and clips her pinky toe on the dresser. By clips, I mean slams with the full force of an Olympic sprinter. She hits the floor writhing in pain and somehow manages to not choke on my loador spit it everywhere. She crawls to the bathroom, mouth full of jizz and tears running down her face. I don't know whether to console her, laugh my ass off or be strangely impressed. We clean her up and she tries to tough it out. Two days later X-rays show its broken and she eventually ends up needing surgery to remove a piece of bone. She spent 3 months in a bright pink cast and we couldn't help snickering everything someone asked, "how'd you do that?"
TLDR; Good morning blow job puts wife in a cast.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd9f1g1 | I have been dying to tell this story for the past year. Last summer my wife decides to surprise me with a "good morning" blow job. We've been married for more than 15 years, so clearly this is not the norm. It doesn't take long and I blow this gigantic load into her mouth. She's a sport and tries her best to swallow, but its just too much and she jumps up to run to the bathroom and spit my load onto the sink before she gags on it. She misjudged her route and clips her pinky toe on the dresser. By clips, I mean slams with the full force of an Olympic sprinter. She hits the floor writhing in pain and somehow manages to not choke on my loador spit it everywhere. She crawls to the bathroom, mouth full of jizz and tears running down her face. I don't know whether to console her, laugh my ass off or be strangely impressed. We clean her up and she tries to tough it out. Two days later X-rays show its broken and she eventually ends up needing surgery to remove a piece of bone. She spent 3 months in a bright pink cast and we couldn't help snickering everything someone asked, "how'd you do that?" | Good morning blow job puts wife in a cast. |
RandomG1rl | Upvote for tl;dr alone | Upvote for tl;dr alone
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8d91b | Upvote for | alone |
HellsSniper | I started crying in my lecture. That TL;DR was perfect. | I started crying in my lecture. That TL;DR was perfect.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8ex1w | I started crying in my lecture. That | was perfect. |
Billy_Reuben | This right here is why AskReddit is the only sub I browse on my phone. The questions are repetitive, but the answers and discussion never are, and on the rare instance that I do see a story I've read before, it's usually amazing.
I'll happily read this piece every time you post it. The **TL;DR** alone is worth it. | This right here is why AskReddit is the only sub I browse on my phone. The questions are repetitive, but the answers and discussion never are, and on the rare instance that I do see a story I've read before, it's usually amazing.
I'll happily read this piece every time you post it. The TL;DR alone is worth it.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8k4my | This right here is why AskReddit is the only sub I browse on my phone. The questions are repetitive, but the answers and discussion never are, and on the rare instance that I do see a story I've read before, it's usually amazing.
I'll happily read this piece every time you post it. The | alone is worth it. |
aphex_twink | well, once i was at this after-wedding party or whatever you'd call it, where i met some new faces. one of these faces belonged to this funny but obnoxiouly intentionally "random" woman who you could only talk to for a few minutes at a time without getting exhausted because of all the fucking randomness. despite that we got along pretty well, especially when i had drank a bit more.
anyway, a few of us decide to go to my friend's place and have an after party, and the woman decides to follow along even though the people whose place she was supposed to stay at weren't and she was from out of town and couldn't find her way to their place on her own. at the after-party, her randomness reaches soaring new heights and ppl start getting annoyed with her. after a while she starts coming on to me but i decline. for some reason i pretend i have angst because of too much alcohol rather than just saying no.
the after-party goes until the early morning and most ppl head on home, except for me who was supposed to sleep there, and my friend who owned the apartment. the woman decides to stay as well without really asking. she's trying to sleep on this couch but doesn't really, uh, fit on it so she falls off like two times before i say she can sleep on my mattress, but with her head next to my feet.
after a while she starts using one of my feet as some kind of snuggly pillow, resting her cheek on it. i'm like "okay", but i pretend to be fast asleep. then i start to feel this weird wet spot on my foot, and i realise she has started basically making out with it. i just lie there, pretending to be asleep, for a while because the situation's gotten so fucking odd that i just want to experience it for a bit, but after a while i switch to a foetal position, still pretending to be asleep.
the next day i hear her talking on her cell with a friend saying something like "oh, no! i just snuggled wth his feet!" and then when she sees i'm awake she turns to me and says "you've got really soft feet!"
tl;dr: turns out i've got really soft feet | well, once i was at this after-wedding party or whatever you'd call it, where i met some new faces. one of these faces belonged to this funny but obnoxiouly intentionally "random" woman who you could only talk to for a few minutes at a time without getting exhausted because of all the fucking randomness. despite that we got along pretty well, especially when i had drank a bit more.
anyway, a few of us decide to go to my friend's place and have an after party, and the woman decides to follow along even though the people whose place she was supposed to stay at weren't and she was from out of town and couldn't find her way to their place on her own. at the after-party, her randomness reaches soaring new heights and ppl start getting annoyed with her. after a while she starts coming on to me but i decline. for some reason i pretend i have angst because of too much alcohol rather than just saying no.
the after-party goes until the early morning and most ppl head on home, except for me who was supposed to sleep there, and my friend who owned the apartment. the woman decides to stay as well without really asking. she's trying to sleep on this couch but doesn't really, uh, fit on it so she falls off like two times before i say she can sleep on my mattress, but with her head next to my feet.
after a while she starts using one of my feet as some kind of snuggly pillow, resting her cheek on it. i'm like "okay", but i pretend to be fast asleep. then i start to feel this weird wet spot on my foot, and i realise she has started basically making out with it. i just lie there, pretending to be asleep, for a while because the situation's gotten so fucking odd that i just want to experience it for a bit, but after a while i switch to a foetal position, still pretending to be asleep.
the next day i hear her talking on her cell with a friend saying something like "oh, no! i just snuggled wth his feet!" and then when she sees i'm awake she turns to me and says "you've got really soft feet!"
tl;dr: turns out i've got really soft feet
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8dkl7 | well, once i was at this after-wedding party or whatever you'd call it, where i met some new faces. one of these faces belonged to this funny but obnoxiouly intentionally "random" woman who you could only talk to for a few minutes at a time without getting exhausted because of all the fucking randomness. despite that we got along pretty well, especially when i had drank a bit more.
anyway, a few of us decide to go to my friend's place and have an after party, and the woman decides to follow along even though the people whose place she was supposed to stay at weren't and she was from out of town and couldn't find her way to their place on her own. at the after-party, her randomness reaches soaring new heights and ppl start getting annoyed with her. after a while she starts coming on to me but i decline. for some reason i pretend i have angst because of too much alcohol rather than just saying no.
the after-party goes until the early morning and most ppl head on home, except for me who was supposed to sleep there, and my friend who owned the apartment. the woman decides to stay as well without really asking. she's trying to sleep on this couch but doesn't really, uh, fit on it so she falls off like two times before i say she can sleep on my mattress, but with her head next to my feet.
after a while she starts using one of my feet as some kind of snuggly pillow, resting her cheek on it. i'm like "okay", but i pretend to be fast asleep. then i start to feel this weird wet spot on my foot, and i realise she has started basically making out with it. i just lie there, pretending to be asleep, for a while because the situation's gotten so fucking odd that i just want to experience it for a bit, but after a while i switch to a foetal position, still pretending to be asleep.
the next day i hear her talking on her cell with a friend saying something like "oh, no! i just snuggled wth his feet!" and then when she sees i'm awake she turns to me and says "you've got really soft feet!" | turns out i've got really soft feet |
InceptofCLJ | If I had gold to give you for that TL;DR I would.. Definitely best one I've read yet. | If I had gold to give you for that TL;DR I would.. Definitely best one I've read yet.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8cxfs | If I had gold to give you for that | I would.. Definitely best one I've read yet. |
Slinkyfest2005 | Tryin out new positions on our bed, I'm standing in the middle with her underneath me we are making mad spanky when the fuckin bed **cleaves** to the right, we scream, I keep going, she tells me to "stop , stop, stop!"
I ask her if she really wants me to stop now that the damage was done?
"Go, go, go!"
So we changed positions, and finished up despite a quarter of the bed touching the floor and us nearly rolling off it at every thrust.
Turns out the metal bed frame had sheared off at the head of the bed, where it clips in.
We would have a repeat performance of this when the other side also broke. (We shoved a box on the broken side)
tl;dr
Broke bed, finished anyway, rinse, repeat. | Tryin out new positions on our bed, I'm standing in the middle with her underneath me we are making mad spanky when the fuckin bed cleaves to the right, we scream, I keep going, she tells me to "stop , stop, stop!"
I ask her if she really wants me to stop now that the damage was done?
"Go, go, go!"
So we changed positions, and finished up despite a quarter of the bed touching the floor and us nearly rolling off it at every thrust.
Turns out the metal bed frame had sheared off at the head of the bed, where it clips in.
We would have a repeat performance of this when the other side also broke. (We shoved a box on the broken side)
tl;dr
Broke bed, finished anyway, rinse, repeat.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8dp7c | Tryin out new positions on our bed, I'm standing in the middle with her underneath me we are making mad spanky when the fuckin bed cleaves to the right, we scream, I keep going, she tells me to "stop , stop, stop!"
I ask her if she really wants me to stop now that the damage was done?
"Go, go, go!"
So we changed positions, and finished up despite a quarter of the bed touching the floor and us nearly rolling off it at every thrust.
Turns out the metal bed frame had sheared off at the head of the bed, where it clips in.
We would have a repeat performance of this when the other side also broke. (We shoved a box on the broken side) | Broke bed, finished anyway, rinse, repeat. |
MurP17 | I'm a member at Anytime Fitness. They are rather small gyms (60'X90'ish) and are open 24/7. They have few members each so it's common to be in their alone when you go at odd hours.
I usually work out in the mornings but this time I went at night. I got really high before as well. Got to the gym and to no surprise, was the only one there. The gym has a wall splitting the weight side and the cardio side with three bathrooms/tanning bed rooms along the back wall. I start warming up in the cardio room and walk back out into the weight room. I had that feeling of "something is different but idk what". It was an eery feeling to say the least, and definitely got my heart pumping and raised my high paranoia. Well my particular workout involved me switching from cardio to weight area of the gym frequently. On one return back to the weight area (where bathrooms are) I catch the tail end of a bathroom door opening up and hitting the wall. Kind of creepy because no one is in the gym and no one would walk out of the bathroom and sprint outside before the door opens enough to hit the wall. So, I turn down my headphones realllll low and basically half ass a workout because my arms and legs are starting to shake at the thought of paranormal activity. Welp, I'm on the dip machine facing the mirror and out of the corner of my eye I see a figure move in the mirror. I quickly jolt in reflex and kind off fall from the machine. I turn around and it's a fairly good looking female about my age (I'm in college so not surprising). She smiles as she has realized the scared me and I smile back with a quick "oh thank god". Now she looks confused but I'm high and feel awkward so just turn around start doing dips. (What I think happened was she moved from one bathroom to another and I caught the tail end of her opening one bathroom door but missed her walking into the other bathroom. And I assume she was tanning.... Well hoping not taking a shit for a long time)
SO, the next day I decide to go workout at that time again in hopes of seeing her. This time, not going stoned in case I need to communicate effectively. Needless to say, little verbal communication was needed. She was there, at the gym, this time working out. Yoga pants and big T-shirt. This time it's squat day so I'm constantly facing the mirror... And checking this girl out every chance I get. Before every lift she does, she flips the back of her shirt up to reveal her butt. And this petite dirty blonde 5'5" girl had a very juicy and plump butt. Not a super firm athlete one, but a bouncy and round I'm getting hard typing this butt. Every chance she gave me, I checked it out. Then she started stretching. And revealed to me that A) she is super flexible and B) she knows I'm checking her out and likes it. We make eye contact once or twice, or three times while her head is between her legs as she is bent over spread eagle "stretching". I flashed her a quick smirk as she switched to "ab exercises" consisting of spread eagle missionary style feet in the air crunches. Her smirk back was like a mutual confirmation "it's just me and you in this gym..." Well, it's squat day and it doesn't go by quick. After her stretching and abs, she went to a bathroom and tanned. Idk guidelines of tanning but I thought like over 15 minutes and you're guaranteed cancer or something. So I was thinking "I have 15 minutes to finish this workout so I can't talk to her when I'm finished". 10...15...20 minutes pass by and she's not out yet. 25...30 and still not out. Now I'm thinking screw it, probably not getting more than a hello anyways so I wrap it up and leave. (Wrap my workout up, not weiner). As I'm getting into my car, I look into the gym and see her scurrying to throw her sweatshirt on she's walking out of the bathroom. She quickly grabs her stuff from the cubby compartment and jogs out to her car just as I'm shutting my door. I turn my car on and just as I put my hand on the shifter to put it on gear I hear a voice in my head that says "just talk to her". So after a battle with my foot going on and off the break I say fuck it and get out and walk to her car. She notices me, smiles, and rolls down her window. SHIT! I'm about to engage in conversation. The only thing I've been thinking of this girl is how I just want to have sporadic emotionless crazy sex with her while I workout and ninja stare at her through mirrors with music blaring in my headphones making me feel obsolete in the gym. But no, now I'm a yard away from speaking, with words, to another girl, and I can't just explain my sexual thoughts of her.
Cut the dialogue and basically I fumbled out that I'm studying exercise science and would like to get some experience training people and asked if she would like me to train her for free. In hindsight, touché Murp17. BUT, something still seemed too apparent from all the eye contact, provocative stretching, sexy T-shirt pull up so you can see my juicy butt in yoga pants actions, and I felt like there was still more. Without hesitation, I threw this at her, "look, I just think you're really attractive and have a really nice body an..." She pulled my head into her car and we start making out.. "...and I kinda..." More kissing "...wanted to..." Make out "...spur of the moment..." Making out harder "...hook up with you..." She pushed my head back, smiled and said "get in".
So now I'm in her car, making out and rubbing friction burns on the vaginal section of her yoga pants. She climbs over the center console and has mounted my compression short constricted chub trying to form. Finally got to... Touch... Her butt at this moment. Even better than expected. After 5-10 minutes of this, we agreed to call it for a night and arrange to "workout together" the same time the next night but in the bathroom. Oh and to "bring a condom."
Best part yet... This was yesterday and the day before. That "next night" is tonight, and tonight I mean in 3-4 hours! I've been getting hard all day thinking about it. Will hopefully edit later
TL;DR Girl scared the fuck out of me one night at gym. Almost fuck the next night at gym but agree to wait till the next night. That night.... Is tonight.
Edit update: SO.... Get to the gym and no one is there, not even the girl. No big deal, I went inside and started warming up. I finished my warm up and still... No girl. At this point I'm thinking damniiiiiit, I was too caught up in the moment to get her phone number to call her, I'm letting all my fellow redditors down, I might be getting stood up, and... sorry weiner but no fun for you. So I proceeded to start doing my workout. About halfway into it, the girl, Mycah by the way, shows up. She had her hair pulled up in a pony tail, those yoga pants, and a sports bra on. She doesn't have big boobs but that sports bra made them look perky enough.... And it revealed her toned 6ish pack.... And didn't cover her butt. Basically, looking sexier than the night before. Oh and sports bra is neon orange nike one... Neon is hot on girls IMO.
She said she was late because she "didn't want to get tired in the gym before her workout ;)" So, she spotted me for the rest of my workout. And by spot I mean, make it impossible to focus on working out. If I'm laying on a bench... She's standing at my feet running her nails up and down my stomach. If standing and looking in a mirror, she's behind me "stretching"... Rather showing off her ass and very subtle protrusion of her labia in her yoga pants. Boob touching... Smiling.... Sexy stretching... Caressing me... All of it. She basically was starting her foreplay early and teasing me. It became a competition within myself like.... "Can you finish your workout without needing to stop and bang this chicks brains out? Can you hit all your reps while a girl who appears to be posing for an invisible playboy camera is behind you?"
And just as I'm wrapping up my last set on my last lift... Click, an elder couple walks into the gym AT 1030 AT NIGHT?!?!. Fuuuuuuuck. I was just about to put these dumbbells up, pick her up and bring her to the bathroom to just start going to town, no slow play foreplay, that already kind of happened. "You're coming over." I told her without hesitation. I'm not letting grandpa Bill and grandma Gene's bulking phase ruin my sex life tonight. So we're walking to the car, she grabs a hand full of my junk, I grab her ass, and now it's make out time in the parking lot again. But fuck that, I end it quickly and were going home. She follows me to my house about 4 miles away (hardest 4 mile drive of my life) and yeah, we get home.
Long story short, we immediately go upstairs to shower. The "I'm ripping your clothes off we're fucking right now" hardcore-esque mood kind of faded after I had to introduce her to roommates. So... We had shower sex. It was.... AWESOME. My shower is tiny so I pulled off my first ever holding a girl in the air sex position. After shower, we go get food and beer, I got weed. Come home and hangout with roommates for a little bit. I'm the king at falling asleep on couches and so.... I did. She did as well. Dozed off at like midnight and woke up at 2ish. Woke her up and asked if she wanted to stay the night, ride home, water, anything. "May you get me some water? I'll see you upstairs ;)" I grab her and I water, lock doors, turn off lights, proceed upstairs. Get into my room and boom. Water taken out of my hands and slammed onto dresser. Shorts ripped down to my knees before the water that was splashing out the cups had landed yet. Getting my weiner sucked and then boom, pushed onto my bed so now I'm sitting at the edge. Long story short... We had that "rip your clothes off were fucking right now" type sex. I've never been in the situation/relationship where this type of hardcore-porn style sex has happened so damn did I try everything I've learned. She stayed the night... We woke up and had morning fun time as well. Now I've got her number and a new friend. We're planning on going to the gym again together. Maybe potential new gf? Maybe | I'm a member at Anytime Fitness. They are rather small gyms (60'X90'ish) and are open 24/7. They have few members each so it's common to be in their alone when you go at odd hours.
I usually work out in the mornings but this time I went at night. I got really high before as well. Got to the gym and to no surprise, was the only one there. The gym has a wall splitting the weight side and the cardio side with three bathrooms/tanning bed rooms along the back wall. I start warming up in the cardio room and walk back out into the weight room. I had that feeling of "something is different but idk what". It was an eery feeling to say the least, and definitely got my heart pumping and raised my high paranoia. Well my particular workout involved me switching from cardio to weight area of the gym frequently. On one return back to the weight area (where bathrooms are) I catch the tail end of a bathroom door opening up and hitting the wall. Kind of creepy because no one is in the gym and no one would walk out of the bathroom and sprint outside before the door opens enough to hit the wall. So, I turn down my headphones realllll low and basically half ass a workout because my arms and legs are starting to shake at the thought of paranormal activity. Welp, I'm on the dip machine facing the mirror and out of the corner of my eye I see a figure move in the mirror. I quickly jolt in reflex and kind off fall from the machine. I turn around and it's a fairly good looking female about my age (I'm in college so not surprising). She smiles as she has realized the scared me and I smile back with a quick "oh thank god". Now she looks confused but I'm high and feel awkward so just turn around start doing dips. (What I think happened was she moved from one bathroom to another and I caught the tail end of her opening one bathroom door but missed her walking into the other bathroom. And I assume she was tanning.... Well hoping not taking a shit for a long time)
SO, the next day I decide to go workout at that time again in hopes of seeing her. This time, not going stoned in case I need to communicate effectively. Needless to say, little verbal communication was needed. She was there, at the gym, this time working out. Yoga pants and big T-shirt. This time it's squat day so I'm constantly facing the mirror... And checking this girl out every chance I get. Before every lift she does, she flips the back of her shirt up to reveal her butt. And this petite dirty blonde 5'5" girl had a very juicy and plump butt. Not a super firm athlete one, but a bouncy and round I'm getting hard typing this butt. Every chance she gave me, I checked it out. Then she started stretching. And revealed to me that A) she is super flexible and B) she knows I'm checking her out and likes it. We make eye contact once or twice, or three times while her head is between her legs as she is bent over spread eagle "stretching". I flashed her a quick smirk as she switched to "ab exercises" consisting of spread eagle missionary style feet in the air crunches. Her smirk back was like a mutual confirmation "it's just me and you in this gym..." Well, it's squat day and it doesn't go by quick. After her stretching and abs, she went to a bathroom and tanned. Idk guidelines of tanning but I thought like over 15 minutes and you're guaranteed cancer or something. So I was thinking "I have 15 minutes to finish this workout so I can't talk to her when I'm finished". 10...15...20 minutes pass by and she's not out yet. 25...30 and still not out. Now I'm thinking screw it, probably not getting more than a hello anyways so I wrap it up and leave. (Wrap my workout up, not weiner). As I'm getting into my car, I look into the gym and see her scurrying to throw her sweatshirt on she's walking out of the bathroom. She quickly grabs her stuff from the cubby compartment and jogs out to her car just as I'm shutting my door. I turn my car on and just as I put my hand on the shifter to put it on gear I hear a voice in my head that says "just talk to her". So after a battle with my foot going on and off the break I say fuck it and get out and walk to her car. She notices me, smiles, and rolls down her window. SHIT! I'm about to engage in conversation. The only thing I've been thinking of this girl is how I just want to have sporadic emotionless crazy sex with her while I workout and ninja stare at her through mirrors with music blaring in my headphones making me feel obsolete in the gym. But no, now I'm a yard away from speaking, with words, to another girl, and I can't just explain my sexual thoughts of her.
Cut the dialogue and basically I fumbled out that I'm studying exercise science and would like to get some experience training people and asked if she would like me to train her for free. In hindsight, touché Murp17. BUT, something still seemed too apparent from all the eye contact, provocative stretching, sexy T-shirt pull up so you can see my juicy butt in yoga pants actions, and I felt like there was still more. Without hesitation, I threw this at her, "look, I just think you're really attractive and have a really nice body an..." She pulled my head into her car and we start making out.. "...and I kinda..." More kissing "...wanted to..." Make out "...spur of the moment..." Making out harder "...hook up with you..." She pushed my head back, smiled and said "get in".
So now I'm in her car, making out and rubbing friction burns on the vaginal section of her yoga pants. She climbs over the center console and has mounted my compression short constricted chub trying to form. Finally got to... Touch... Her butt at this moment. Even better than expected. After 5-10 minutes of this, we agreed to call it for a night and arrange to "workout together" the same time the next night but in the bathroom. Oh and to "bring a condom."
Best part yet... This was yesterday and the day before. That "next night" is tonight, and tonight I mean in 3-4 hours! I've been getting hard all day thinking about it. Will hopefully edit later
TL;DR Girl scared the fuck out of me one night at gym. Almost fuck the next night at gym but agree to wait till the next night. That night.... Is tonight.
Edit update: SO.... Get to the gym and no one is there, not even the girl. No big deal, I went inside and started warming up. I finished my warm up and still... No girl. At this point I'm thinking damniiiiiit, I was too caught up in the moment to get her phone number to call her, I'm letting all my fellow redditors down, I might be getting stood up, and... sorry weiner but no fun for you. So I proceeded to start doing my workout. About halfway into it, the girl, Mycah by the way, shows up. She had her hair pulled up in a pony tail, those yoga pants, and a sports bra on. She doesn't have big boobs but that sports bra made them look perky enough.... And it revealed her toned 6ish pack.... And didn't cover her butt. Basically, looking sexier than the night before. Oh and sports bra is neon orange nike one... Neon is hot on girls IMO.
She said she was late because she "didn't want to get tired in the gym before her workout ;)" So, she spotted me for the rest of my workout. And by spot I mean, make it impossible to focus on working out. If I'm laying on a bench... She's standing at my feet running her nails up and down my stomach. If standing and looking in a mirror, she's behind me "stretching"... Rather showing off her ass and very subtle protrusion of her labia in her yoga pants. Boob touching... Smiling.... Sexy stretching... Caressing me... All of it. She basically was starting her foreplay early and teasing me. It became a competition within myself like.... "Can you finish your workout without needing to stop and bang this chicks brains out? Can you hit all your reps while a girl who appears to be posing for an invisible playboy camera is behind you?"
And just as I'm wrapping up my last set on my last lift... Click, an elder couple walks into the gym AT 1030 AT NIGHT?!?!. Fuuuuuuuck. I was just about to put these dumbbells up, pick her up and bring her to the bathroom to just start going to town, no slow play foreplay, that already kind of happened. "You're coming over." I told her without hesitation. I'm not letting grandpa Bill and grandma Gene's bulking phase ruin my sex life tonight. So we're walking to the car, she grabs a hand full of my junk, I grab her ass, and now it's make out time in the parking lot again. But fuck that, I end it quickly and were going home. She follows me to my house about 4 miles away (hardest 4 mile drive of my life) and yeah, we get home.
Long story short, we immediately go upstairs to shower. The "I'm ripping your clothes off we're fucking right now" hardcore-esque mood kind of faded after I had to introduce her to roommates. So... We had shower sex. It was.... AWESOME. My shower is tiny so I pulled off my first ever holding a girl in the air sex position. After shower, we go get food and beer, I got weed. Come home and hangout with roommates for a little bit. I'm the king at falling asleep on couches and so.... I did. She did as well. Dozed off at like midnight and woke up at 2ish. Woke her up and asked if she wanted to stay the night, ride home, water, anything. "May you get me some water? I'll see you upstairs ;)" I grab her and I water, lock doors, turn off lights, proceed upstairs. Get into my room and boom. Water taken out of my hands and slammed onto dresser. Shorts ripped down to my knees before the water that was splashing out the cups had landed yet. Getting my weiner sucked and then boom, pushed onto my bed so now I'm sitting at the edge. Long story short... We had that "rip your clothes off were fucking right now" type sex. I've never been in the situation/relationship where this type of hardcore-porn style sex has happened so damn did I try everything I've learned. She stayed the night... We woke up and had morning fun time as well. Now I've got her number and a new friend. We're planning on going to the gym again together. Maybe potential new gf? Maybe
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8fjhu | I'm a member at Anytime Fitness. They are rather small gyms (60'X90'ish) and are open 24/7. They have few members each so it's common to be in their alone when you go at odd hours.
I usually work out in the mornings but this time I went at night. I got really high before as well. Got to the gym and to no surprise, was the only one there. The gym has a wall splitting the weight side and the cardio side with three bathrooms/tanning bed rooms along the back wall. I start warming up in the cardio room and walk back out into the weight room. I had that feeling of "something is different but idk what". It was an eery feeling to say the least, and definitely got my heart pumping and raised my high paranoia. Well my particular workout involved me switching from cardio to weight area of the gym frequently. On one return back to the weight area (where bathrooms are) I catch the tail end of a bathroom door opening up and hitting the wall. Kind of creepy because no one is in the gym and no one would walk out of the bathroom and sprint outside before the door opens enough to hit the wall. So, I turn down my headphones realllll low and basically half ass a workout because my arms and legs are starting to shake at the thought of paranormal activity. Welp, I'm on the dip machine facing the mirror and out of the corner of my eye I see a figure move in the mirror. I quickly jolt in reflex and kind off fall from the machine. I turn around and it's a fairly good looking female about my age (I'm in college so not surprising). She smiles as she has realized the scared me and I smile back with a quick "oh thank god". Now she looks confused but I'm high and feel awkward so just turn around start doing dips. (What I think happened was she moved from one bathroom to another and I caught the tail end of her opening one bathroom door but missed her walking into the other bathroom. And I assume she was tanning.... Well hoping not taking a shit for a long time)
SO, the next day I decide to go workout at that time again in hopes of seeing her. This time, not going stoned in case I need to communicate effectively. Needless to say, little verbal communication was needed. She was there, at the gym, this time working out. Yoga pants and big T-shirt. This time it's squat day so I'm constantly facing the mirror... And checking this girl out every chance I get. Before every lift she does, she flips the back of her shirt up to reveal her butt. And this petite dirty blonde 5'5" girl had a very juicy and plump butt. Not a super firm athlete one, but a bouncy and round I'm getting hard typing this butt. Every chance she gave me, I checked it out. Then she started stretching. And revealed to me that A) she is super flexible and B) she knows I'm checking her out and likes it. We make eye contact once or twice, or three times while her head is between her legs as she is bent over spread eagle "stretching". I flashed her a quick smirk as she switched to "ab exercises" consisting of spread eagle missionary style feet in the air crunches. Her smirk back was like a mutual confirmation "it's just me and you in this gym..." Well, it's squat day and it doesn't go by quick. After her stretching and abs, she went to a bathroom and tanned. Idk guidelines of tanning but I thought like over 15 minutes and you're guaranteed cancer or something. So I was thinking "I have 15 minutes to finish this workout so I can't talk to her when I'm finished". 10...15...20 minutes pass by and she's not out yet. 25...30 and still not out. Now I'm thinking screw it, probably not getting more than a hello anyways so I wrap it up and leave. (Wrap my workout up, not weiner). As I'm getting into my car, I look into the gym and see her scurrying to throw her sweatshirt on she's walking out of the bathroom. She quickly grabs her stuff from the cubby compartment and jogs out to her car just as I'm shutting my door. I turn my car on and just as I put my hand on the shifter to put it on gear I hear a voice in my head that says "just talk to her". So after a battle with my foot going on and off the break I say fuck it and get out and walk to her car. She notices me, smiles, and rolls down her window. SHIT! I'm about to engage in conversation. The only thing I've been thinking of this girl is how I just want to have sporadic emotionless crazy sex with her while I workout and ninja stare at her through mirrors with music blaring in my headphones making me feel obsolete in the gym. But no, now I'm a yard away from speaking, with words, to another girl, and I can't just explain my sexual thoughts of her.
Cut the dialogue and basically I fumbled out that I'm studying exercise science and would like to get some experience training people and asked if she would like me to train her for free. In hindsight, touché Murp17. BUT, something still seemed too apparent from all the eye contact, provocative stretching, sexy T-shirt pull up so you can see my juicy butt in yoga pants actions, and I felt like there was still more. Without hesitation, I threw this at her, "look, I just think you're really attractive and have a really nice body an..." She pulled my head into her car and we start making out.. "...and I kinda..." More kissing "...wanted to..." Make out "...spur of the moment..." Making out harder "...hook up with you..." She pushed my head back, smiled and said "get in".
So now I'm in her car, making out and rubbing friction burns on the vaginal section of her yoga pants. She climbs over the center console and has mounted my compression short constricted chub trying to form. Finally got to... Touch... Her butt at this moment. Even better than expected. After 5-10 minutes of this, we agreed to call it for a night and arrange to "workout together" the same time the next night but in the bathroom. Oh and to "bring a condom."
Best part yet... This was yesterday and the day before. That "next night" is tonight, and tonight I mean in 3-4 hours! I've been getting hard all day thinking about it. Will hopefully edit later | Girl scared the fuck out of me one night at gym. Almost fuck the next night at gym but agree to wait till the next night. That night.... Is tonight.
Edit update: SO.... Get to the gym and no one is there, not even the girl. No big deal, I went inside and started warming up. I finished my warm up and still... No girl. At this point I'm thinking damniiiiiit, I was too caught up in the moment to get her phone number to call her, I'm letting all my fellow redditors down, I might be getting stood up, and... sorry weiner but no fun for you. So I proceeded to start doing my workout. About halfway into it, the girl, Mycah by the way, shows up. She had her hair pulled up in a pony tail, those yoga pants, and a sports bra on. She doesn't have big boobs but that sports bra made them look perky enough.... And it revealed her toned 6ish pack.... And didn't cover her butt. Basically, looking sexier than the night before. Oh and sports bra is neon orange nike one... Neon is hot on girls IMO.
She said she was late because she "didn't want to get tired in the gym before her workout ;)" So, she spotted me for the rest of my workout. And by spot I mean, make it impossible to focus on working out. If I'm laying on a bench... She's standing at my feet running her nails up and down my stomach. If standing and looking in a mirror, she's behind me "stretching"... Rather showing off her ass and very subtle protrusion of her labia in her yoga pants. Boob touching... Smiling.... Sexy stretching... Caressing me... All of it. She basically was starting her foreplay early and teasing me. It became a competition within myself like.... "Can you finish your workout without needing to stop and bang this chicks brains out? Can you hit all your reps while a girl who appears to be posing for an invisible playboy camera is behind you?"
And just as I'm wrapping up my last set on my last lift... Click, an elder couple walks into the gym AT 1030 AT NIGHT?!?!. Fuuuuuuuck. I was just about to put these dumbbells up, pick her up and bring her to the bathroom to just start going to town, no slow play foreplay, that already kind of happened. "You're coming over." I told her without hesitation. I'm not letting grandpa Bill and grandma Gene's bulking phase ruin my sex life tonight. So we're walking to the car, she grabs a hand full of my junk, I grab her ass, and now it's make out time in the parking lot again. But fuck that, I end it quickly and were going home. She follows me to my house about 4 miles away (hardest 4 mile drive of my life) and yeah, we get home.
Long story short, we immediately go upstairs to shower. The "I'm ripping your clothes off we're fucking right now" hardcore-esque mood kind of faded after I had to introduce her to roommates. So... We had shower sex. It was.... AWESOME. My shower is tiny so I pulled off my first ever holding a girl in the air sex position. After shower, we go get food and beer, I got weed. Come home and hangout with roommates for a little bit. I'm the king at falling asleep on couches and so.... I did. She did as well. Dozed off at like midnight and woke up at 2ish. Woke her up and asked if she wanted to stay the night, ride home, water, anything. "May you get me some water? I'll see you upstairs ;)" I grab her and I water, lock doors, turn off lights, proceed upstairs. Get into my room and boom. Water taken out of my hands and slammed onto dresser. Shorts ripped down to my knees before the water that was splashing out the cups had landed yet. Getting my weiner sucked and then boom, pushed onto my bed so now I'm sitting at the edge. Long story short... We had that "rip your clothes off were fucking right now" type sex. I've never been in the situation/relationship where this type of hardcore-porn style sex has happened so damn did I try everything I've learned. She stayed the night... We woke up and had morning fun time as well. Now I've got her number and a new friend. We're planning on going to the gym again together. Maybe potential new gf? Maybe |
Death2ponyz | When is was 18 me and my girlfriend, at the time, wanted to have sex but had nowhere to go. So one of my friends tells me that there is an old track a mile away from our high school, no one ever goes up there.
Me and my girlfriend drive there and start going at it, we're both completely naked and all if a sudden a truck pulls up right next to us. She sees it immediately but me being in the 18yr old hormone ridden throws of passion wasn't paying attention enough to notice. So she finally jumps off and is slinking done in the seat as low as she can, as not to be seen.
I personally can't resist the temptation to look at the people in the other truck. It's an old man (easily 80) laughing his ass off and his wife (probably same age) screaming at us and yelling at her husband.
Turns out this track is a hotspot for old people that don't like to walk at the new track at our high school. So I my pants on and start driving away. My girlfriend is quiet for the first 10 minutes of the drive home until I ask "are you ok?" And she yells "NO I AM NOT OLD PEOPLE SAW US SIN!!!!!"
Side note: I accidentally butt dialed my buddy before so not only did he hear us having sex he heard her freak out about the old people... He listened the whole time... I need new friends
TL;DR: Old people saw me and my gf sin, my buddy listed to me have sex on the phone | When is was 18 me and my girlfriend, at the time, wanted to have sex but had nowhere to go. So one of my friends tells me that there is an old track a mile away from our high school, no one ever goes up there.
Me and my girlfriend drive there and start going at it, we're both completely naked and all if a sudden a truck pulls up right next to us. She sees it immediately but me being in the 18yr old hormone ridden throws of passion wasn't paying attention enough to notice. So she finally jumps off and is slinking done in the seat as low as she can, as not to be seen.
I personally can't resist the temptation to look at the people in the other truck. It's an old man (easily 80) laughing his ass off and his wife (probably same age) screaming at us and yelling at her husband.
Turns out this track is a hotspot for old people that don't like to walk at the new track at our high school. So I my pants on and start driving away. My girlfriend is quiet for the first 10 minutes of the drive home until I ask "are you ok?" And she yells "NO I AM NOT OLD PEOPLE SAW US SIN!!!!!"
Side note: I accidentally butt dialed my buddy before so not only did he hear us having sex he heard her freak out about the old people... He listened the whole time... I need new friends
TL;DR: Old people saw me and my gf sin, my buddy listed to me have sex on the phone
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8hfml | When is was 18 me and my girlfriend, at the time, wanted to have sex but had nowhere to go. So one of my friends tells me that there is an old track a mile away from our high school, no one ever goes up there.
Me and my girlfriend drive there and start going at it, we're both completely naked and all if a sudden a truck pulls up right next to us. She sees it immediately but me being in the 18yr old hormone ridden throws of passion wasn't paying attention enough to notice. So she finally jumps off and is slinking done in the seat as low as she can, as not to be seen.
I personally can't resist the temptation to look at the people in the other truck. It's an old man (easily 80) laughing his ass off and his wife (probably same age) screaming at us and yelling at her husband.
Turns out this track is a hotspot for old people that don't like to walk at the new track at our high school. So I my pants on and start driving away. My girlfriend is quiet for the first 10 minutes of the drive home until I ask "are you ok?" And she yells "NO I AM NOT OLD PEOPLE SAW US SIN!!!!!"
Side note: I accidentally butt dialed my buddy before so not only did he hear us having sex he heard her freak out about the old people... He listened the whole time... I need new friends | Old people saw me and my gf sin, my buddy listed to me have sex on the phone |
Levitheguy | I laughed my ass off at that TL;DR. Props man. | I laughed my ass off at that TL;DR. Props man.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8bdkz | I laughed my ass off at that | Props man. |
Brosama220 | I had a girlfriend a while back who was really freaky. We went to a christmas-sermon in the local church with the rest of our school. Neither of us cared for the preaching, so we sat alone in the back row. As we sat there she suddently stuck her hand down my pants. Luckily I was wearing baggy-pants that day, so there was plenty room. I quickly got a raging boner, and she stared rubbing one off. She had fun watching me suppressing my enjoyment. Suddently I realized how big of a chance this was, so I sat up straight, and looked around, after a minute or so I finally made eye contact with the preacher, just as he said amen.
Sadly there is no climax to the story (hur, hur) but I felt fucking awesome at that moment.
**Tl;dr: Got a handjob during christmas sermon, made eye contact with preacher while he said amen. Felt good.**
Edit: Bonus info: I have a good friend who plays the organ in our local church, and therefore has the key so he can practice. He boned his girl on the organ keys. | I had a girlfriend a while back who was really freaky. We went to a christmas-sermon in the local church with the rest of our school. Neither of us cared for the preaching, so we sat alone in the back row. As we sat there she suddently stuck her hand down my pants. Luckily I was wearing baggy-pants that day, so there was plenty room. I quickly got a raging boner, and she stared rubbing one off. She had fun watching me suppressing my enjoyment. Suddently I realized how big of a chance this was, so I sat up straight, and looked around, after a minute or so I finally made eye contact with the preacher, just as he said amen.
Sadly there is no climax to the story (hur, hur) but I felt fucking awesome at that moment.
Tl;dr: Got a handjob during christmas sermon, made eye contact with preacher while he said amen. Felt good.
Edit: Bonus info: I have a good friend who plays the organ in our local church, and therefore has the key so he can practice. He boned his girl on the organ keys.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd83dn3 | I had a girlfriend a while back who was really freaky. We went to a christmas-sermon in the local church with the rest of our school. Neither of us cared for the preaching, so we sat alone in the back row. As we sat there she suddently stuck her hand down my pants. Luckily I was wearing baggy-pants that day, so there was plenty room. I quickly got a raging boner, and she stared rubbing one off. She had fun watching me suppressing my enjoyment. Suddently I realized how big of a chance this was, so I sat up straight, and looked around, after a minute or so I finally made eye contact with the preacher, just as he said amen.
Sadly there is no climax to the story (hur, hur) but I felt fucking awesome at that moment. | Got a handjob during christmas sermon, made eye contact with preacher while he said amen. Felt good.
Edit: Bonus info: I have a good friend who plays the organ in our local church, and therefore has the key so he can practice. He boned his girl on the organ keys. |
Tehfurby | So when I was 13 a friend and I where at my house each trying to get laid. So I go into my bedroom and things got hot and heavy then I felt it. It was pressure building up in her vagina. I pull out and she just let loose with the juice. I was scared, thought she just peed on my bed! But as a 13 year old I just went right back at it. After the girls left I was explaining to my friend what happen he started to laugh and explain to me that is called squirting. Now for the past 5 years my name has been squirtle.
Tl;dr I became a pokemon. | So when I was 13 a friend and I where at my house each trying to get laid. So I go into my bedroom and things got hot and heavy then I felt it. It was pressure building up in her vagina. I pull out and she just let loose with the juice. I was scared, thought she just peed on my bed! But as a 13 year old I just went right back at it. After the girls left I was explaining to my friend what happen he started to laugh and explain to me that is called squirting. Now for the past 5 years my name has been squirtle.
Tl;dr I became a pokemon.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd843ap | So when I was 13 a friend and I where at my house each trying to get laid. So I go into my bedroom and things got hot and heavy then I felt it. It was pressure building up in her vagina. I pull out and she just let loose with the juice. I was scared, thought she just peed on my bed! But as a 13 year old I just went right back at it. After the girls left I was explaining to my friend what happen he started to laugh and explain to me that is called squirting. Now for the past 5 years my name has been squirtle. | I became a pokemon. |
MadmanDJS | I went to visit my girlfriend at college recently, as we're at two separate schools about an hour away. She told me before visiting that her roommate almost never sleeps in their room, so "I'm sure she won't mind you visiting". I get there and we hang out for a little until nighttime falls, roommate is staying at a friends for the night so we do our thing and proceed to fall asleep together. Wake up around 3am, as does she, and we both decide, Hey, we're up, let's give it another go. We begin, only to be disrupted about 5 minutes in by her roommate stumbling in, drunken and confused. Sees me on top of her, pulls out her phone, snaps a pic, turns around, and leaves. The next morning was a good time for all of us.
TL;DR: Roommate didn't mind enough. | I went to visit my girlfriend at college recently, as we're at two separate schools about an hour away. She told me before visiting that her roommate almost never sleeps in their room, so "I'm sure she won't mind you visiting". I get there and we hang out for a little until nighttime falls, roommate is staying at a friends for the night so we do our thing and proceed to fall asleep together. Wake up around 3am, as does she, and we both decide, Hey, we're up, let's give it another go. We begin, only to be disrupted about 5 minutes in by her roommate stumbling in, drunken and confused. Sees me on top of her, pulls out her phone, snaps a pic, turns around, and leaves. The next morning was a good time for all of us.
TL;DR: Roommate didn't mind enough.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd84fly | I went to visit my girlfriend at college recently, as we're at two separate schools about an hour away. She told me before visiting that her roommate almost never sleeps in their room, so "I'm sure she won't mind you visiting". I get there and we hang out for a little until nighttime falls, roommate is staying at a friends for the night so we do our thing and proceed to fall asleep together. Wake up around 3am, as does she, and we both decide, Hey, we're up, let's give it another go. We begin, only to be disrupted about 5 minutes in by her roommate stumbling in, drunken and confused. Sees me on top of her, pulls out her phone, snaps a pic, turns around, and leaves. The next morning was a good time for all of us. | Roommate didn't mind enough. |
nemosomebody | One afternoon in the summertime my girlfriend and I went on a lovely bike ride in a rural area of Germany. We set up a lunch at a picnic table along the path. It was a full set up. Table cloth, bottle of wine, build your own sandwich station, etc. After enjoying our lunch and downing the bottle of wine we started to get a bit frisky. God bless my lady for wearing a skirt that day.
She hopped on top and straddled me. After only a few bobs up and down I notice a figure appearing from my left. I tell her that someone is coming. It was an old man walking along with his bicycle. "Oh great, just got cockblocked by an old man in the middle of nowhere. What are the odds." My lady slides off of me and I do the ol' tuck-a-roo with my wiener and flip it up into the waistband of my shorts and cover it with my shirt. It was the best I could do, because this old fellow had some speed. As he approaches, he smiles and we wait for him to go along his merry way. But he didn't. He sat right the fuck down at the table. I am getting nervous as I am still sporting at least a 3/4 chub.
As if it couldn't get any worse, 3 more of his old German buddies come around the corner and take up the remaining empty spots at the picnic table. We are completely cornered. Small talk was futile as they didn't speak English and our German was poor to say the least. I am whispering to my lady that I can't stand up because my shorts will fall down; I was wearing very loose shorts ya see. "My dick is out" "My dick is out" "My dick is out" is all I can say.
My girlfriend, being such a champ, gets up and starts to slowly pack away all of our things while I sit there with a bashful, smug look on my face giving everyone a stupid nod whenever painful eye contact is made. After she finished putting our things away, I struggle to stand up. I put one hand in my pocket to try and support my poor choice of shorts and to keep my willy from breaching. I quietly shuffle over to my bike and we wheel our rides away until I can get out of sight and finally 180 my wiener and do up my shorts. We ride like hell, and then laugh our asses off for the next 10 minutes.
**TL;DR** : Got cockblocked by old men reunion party at a picnic bench in the German countryside | One afternoon in the summertime my girlfriend and I went on a lovely bike ride in a rural area of Germany. We set up a lunch at a picnic table along the path. It was a full set up. Table cloth, bottle of wine, build your own sandwich station, etc. After enjoying our lunch and downing the bottle of wine we started to get a bit frisky. God bless my lady for wearing a skirt that day.
She hopped on top and straddled me. After only a few bobs up and down I notice a figure appearing from my left. I tell her that someone is coming. It was an old man walking along with his bicycle. "Oh great, just got cockblocked by an old man in the middle of nowhere. What are the odds." My lady slides off of me and I do the ol' tuck-a-roo with my wiener and flip it up into the waistband of my shorts and cover it with my shirt. It was the best I could do, because this old fellow had some speed. As he approaches, he smiles and we wait for him to go along his merry way. But he didn't. He sat right the fuck down at the table. I am getting nervous as I am still sporting at least a 3/4 chub.
As if it couldn't get any worse, 3 more of his old German buddies come around the corner and take up the remaining empty spots at the picnic table. We are completely cornered. Small talk was futile as they didn't speak English and our German was poor to say the least. I am whispering to my lady that I can't stand up because my shorts will fall down; I was wearing very loose shorts ya see. "My dick is out" "My dick is out" "My dick is out" is all I can say.
My girlfriend, being such a champ, gets up and starts to slowly pack away all of our things while I sit there with a bashful, smug look on my face giving everyone a stupid nod whenever painful eye contact is made. After she finished putting our things away, I struggle to stand up. I put one hand in my pocket to try and support my poor choice of shorts and to keep my willy from breaching. I quietly shuffle over to my bike and we wheel our rides away until I can get out of sight and finally 180 my wiener and do up my shorts. We ride like hell, and then laugh our asses off for the next 10 minutes.
TL;DR : Got cockblocked by old men reunion party at a picnic bench in the German countryside
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd84rl1 | One afternoon in the summertime my girlfriend and I went on a lovely bike ride in a rural area of Germany. We set up a lunch at a picnic table along the path. It was a full set up. Table cloth, bottle of wine, build your own sandwich station, etc. After enjoying our lunch and downing the bottle of wine we started to get a bit frisky. God bless my lady for wearing a skirt that day.
She hopped on top and straddled me. After only a few bobs up and down I notice a figure appearing from my left. I tell her that someone is coming. It was an old man walking along with his bicycle. "Oh great, just got cockblocked by an old man in the middle of nowhere. What are the odds." My lady slides off of me and I do the ol' tuck-a-roo with my wiener and flip it up into the waistband of my shorts and cover it with my shirt. It was the best I could do, because this old fellow had some speed. As he approaches, he smiles and we wait for him to go along his merry way. But he didn't. He sat right the fuck down at the table. I am getting nervous as I am still sporting at least a 3/4 chub.
As if it couldn't get any worse, 3 more of his old German buddies come around the corner and take up the remaining empty spots at the picnic table. We are completely cornered. Small talk was futile as they didn't speak English and our German was poor to say the least. I am whispering to my lady that I can't stand up because my shorts will fall down; I was wearing very loose shorts ya see. "My dick is out" "My dick is out" "My dick is out" is all I can say.
My girlfriend, being such a champ, gets up and starts to slowly pack away all of our things while I sit there with a bashful, smug look on my face giving everyone a stupid nod whenever painful eye contact is made. After she finished putting our things away, I struggle to stand up. I put one hand in my pocket to try and support my poor choice of shorts and to keep my willy from breaching. I quietly shuffle over to my bike and we wheel our rides away until I can get out of sight and finally 180 my wiener and do up my shorts. We ride like hell, and then laugh our asses off for the next 10 minutes. | Got cockblocked by old men reunion party at a picnic bench in the German countryside |
FenrisJager | I figure I'll add my own to the discussion. My girlfriend and I were on vacation for Halloween in 2012 in Maui. After getting back to the hotel while piss drunk from the nights escapades, we decide its a good time for a drunk fuck. So we start at it like wild animals - start in the main room, go onto the bedroom, then the balcony, the patio table, the balcony floor, and finally the bedroom floor (it started raining).
I blow my load, pull out, pass out. Next morning I notice as we're making breakfast, my girl is walking with a bit of a limp and easing herself when she sits down. After asking her what's up, she tells me.
Apparently after we moved back into the bedroom, we were in the "prone n' bone" position (flat on her stomach, me on top behind her) and I slid back too far and popped out. I then proceeded to kick in her back door on re-entry and continue to pound her until I came. Due to the amount of lubricant her cooter supplied, I slid right in without noticing. She also couldn't protest because we like to get a little kinky, and we had her gagged with duct tape.
Luckily for us, she likes the buttsecks (despite the surprise) and proceeded to take it like a trooper. Meanwhile, here I am thinking this extra bucking was her eagerly participating rather than her trying to get me out. Oh well, c'est la vie. She got some extra bacon on her plate and some vodka in her OJ that morning.
TL;DR Surprise buttsecks.
| I figure I'll add my own to the discussion. My girlfriend and I were on vacation for Halloween in 2012 in Maui. After getting back to the hotel while piss drunk from the nights escapades, we decide its a good time for a drunk fuck. So we start at it like wild animals - start in the main room, go onto the bedroom, then the balcony, the patio table, the balcony floor, and finally the bedroom floor (it started raining).
I blow my load, pull out, pass out. Next morning I notice as we're making breakfast, my girl is walking with a bit of a limp and easing herself when she sits down. After asking her what's up, she tells me.
Apparently after we moved back into the bedroom, we were in the "prone n' bone" position (flat on her stomach, me on top behind her) and I slid back too far and popped out. I then proceeded to kick in her back door on re-entry and continue to pound her until I came. Due to the amount of lubricant her cooter supplied, I slid right in without noticing. She also couldn't protest because we like to get a little kinky, and we had her gagged with duct tape.
Luckily for us, she likes the buttsecks (despite the surprise) and proceeded to take it like a trooper. Meanwhile, here I am thinking this extra bucking was her eagerly participating rather than her trying to get me out. Oh well, c'est la vie. She got some extra bacon on her plate and some vodka in her OJ that morning.
TL;DR Surprise buttsecks.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd855t2 | I figure I'll add my own to the discussion. My girlfriend and I were on vacation for Halloween in 2012 in Maui. After getting back to the hotel while piss drunk from the nights escapades, we decide its a good time for a drunk fuck. So we start at it like wild animals - start in the main room, go onto the bedroom, then the balcony, the patio table, the balcony floor, and finally the bedroom floor (it started raining).
I blow my load, pull out, pass out. Next morning I notice as we're making breakfast, my girl is walking with a bit of a limp and easing herself when she sits down. After asking her what's up, she tells me.
Apparently after we moved back into the bedroom, we were in the "prone n' bone" position (flat on her stomach, me on top behind her) and I slid back too far and popped out. I then proceeded to kick in her back door on re-entry and continue to pound her until I came. Due to the amount of lubricant her cooter supplied, I slid right in without noticing. She also couldn't protest because we like to get a little kinky, and we had her gagged with duct tape.
Luckily for us, she likes the buttsecks (despite the surprise) and proceeded to take it like a trooper. Meanwhile, here I am thinking this extra bucking was her eagerly participating rather than her trying to get me out. Oh well, c'est la vie. She got some extra bacon on her plate and some vodka in her OJ that morning. | Surprise buttsecks. |
MegaImpossible | This is probably one of my favorite of all stories honestly, because it really just shows how fucking oblivious I am to everything.
Little backdrop, I'm male, gay, and not very experienced in the ways of sex.
A few years ago, I went to a party that a friend of my friend was throwing, and I knew a few people and wanted to get drunk, so I went.
Halfway through the night I found out some people were going off to get high, so I went with them, we all passed around a blunt, and needless to say I was pretty wasted by then.
So fastforward about an hour, my friend's roommate comes and sits next to me (I think I was waiting for the bathroom to become available) and we start shooting the breeze, no biggy.
I eventually get on the subject of my sexuality and he informs me that he's bi. I tell him I think that's great and he should feel good about himself.
"Well, to be honest, I'm really hard right now just talking about it." he tells me.
"Oh no big deal, dude," I reply, "Totally natural. Don't worry about it."
"No. I'm HARD right now."
After it sank in we immediately went off behind the apartment complex we were at and started talking again, then moved on to making out, which quickly became me giving him head.
So there we are, behind an apartment building, hooking up. Suddenly we hear somebody, and quickly start trying to put our pants back on. Motherfucker with a dog walks right by (probably noticed that we were pulling up our pants) and just kind of glares at us as he passes.
Luckily though, this didn't kill the mood and we went right back at it after he had walked off a considerable distance. He came, we switched off, then when I finished we went back to the party. I expressed to him before we went back that I would love to go back to his room later, and after bullshitting with other people at the party for a while, we did.
The next morning though, he was a little bit regretful of the previous night's events, most people knew him as straight, and he wanted to keep it that way.
Doesn't stop me from telling this fucking story though. I think it's fucking hilarious. True college experience.
**TL;DR** I gave a blowjob to a guy behind an apartment complex and we almost got caught by a guy walking his dog. | This is probably one of my favorite of all stories honestly, because it really just shows how fucking oblivious I am to everything.
Little backdrop, I'm male, gay, and not very experienced in the ways of sex.
A few years ago, I went to a party that a friend of my friend was throwing, and I knew a few people and wanted to get drunk, so I went.
Halfway through the night I found out some people were going off to get high, so I went with them, we all passed around a blunt, and needless to say I was pretty wasted by then.
So fastforward about an hour, my friend's roommate comes and sits next to me (I think I was waiting for the bathroom to become available) and we start shooting the breeze, no biggy.
I eventually get on the subject of my sexuality and he informs me that he's bi. I tell him I think that's great and he should feel good about himself.
"Well, to be honest, I'm really hard right now just talking about it." he tells me.
"Oh no big deal, dude," I reply, "Totally natural. Don't worry about it."
"No. I'm HARD right now."
After it sank in we immediately went off behind the apartment complex we were at and started talking again, then moved on to making out, which quickly became me giving him head.
So there we are, behind an apartment building, hooking up. Suddenly we hear somebody, and quickly start trying to put our pants back on. Motherfucker with a dog walks right by (probably noticed that we were pulling up our pants) and just kind of glares at us as he passes.
Luckily though, this didn't kill the mood and we went right back at it after he had walked off a considerable distance. He came, we switched off, then when I finished we went back to the party. I expressed to him before we went back that I would love to go back to his room later, and after bullshitting with other people at the party for a while, we did.
The next morning though, he was a little bit regretful of the previous night's events, most people knew him as straight, and he wanted to keep it that way.
Doesn't stop me from telling this fucking story though. I think it's fucking hilarious. True college experience.
TL;DR I gave a blowjob to a guy behind an apartment complex and we almost got caught by a guy walking his dog.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd88a3s | This is probably one of my favorite of all stories honestly, because it really just shows how fucking oblivious I am to everything.
Little backdrop, I'm male, gay, and not very experienced in the ways of sex.
A few years ago, I went to a party that a friend of my friend was throwing, and I knew a few people and wanted to get drunk, so I went.
Halfway through the night I found out some people were going off to get high, so I went with them, we all passed around a blunt, and needless to say I was pretty wasted by then.
So fastforward about an hour, my friend's roommate comes and sits next to me (I think I was waiting for the bathroom to become available) and we start shooting the breeze, no biggy.
I eventually get on the subject of my sexuality and he informs me that he's bi. I tell him I think that's great and he should feel good about himself.
"Well, to be honest, I'm really hard right now just talking about it." he tells me.
"Oh no big deal, dude," I reply, "Totally natural. Don't worry about it."
"No. I'm HARD right now."
After it sank in we immediately went off behind the apartment complex we were at and started talking again, then moved on to making out, which quickly became me giving him head.
So there we are, behind an apartment building, hooking up. Suddenly we hear somebody, and quickly start trying to put our pants back on. Motherfucker with a dog walks right by (probably noticed that we were pulling up our pants) and just kind of glares at us as he passes.
Luckily though, this didn't kill the mood and we went right back at it after he had walked off a considerable distance. He came, we switched off, then when I finished we went back to the party. I expressed to him before we went back that I would love to go back to his room later, and after bullshitting with other people at the party for a while, we did.
The next morning though, he was a little bit regretful of the previous night's events, most people knew him as straight, and he wanted to keep it that way.
Doesn't stop me from telling this fucking story though. I think it's fucking hilarious. True college experience. | I gave a blowjob to a guy behind an apartment complex and we almost got caught by a guy walking his dog. |
Edatwork | This is a cross post from the thread about first times, I think this qualifies here as well.
"This is my time to shine.
No regrets. She was introduced to me as a lesbian, but had been giving me the eye all night. We start making out at a party and she pulls me into her (male) friend's room and says it's cool. We begin having sex and after about two minutes she starts crying, saying I'm too big (which blew my fucking mind). I try consoling her but she wants her friend (a different one than the one whose room we're in). I have to go back out to the party, ask her friend to go in, then sit there awkwardly. After 10 minutes her friend comes out, asks me to go in. She's apologetic, I say it's alright, and she starts trying to initiate sex again... but needless to say I'm kind of not in the mood. Then her friend, the one whose room we're in, drunkenly bursts in saying, "Fine whatever, I don't give a shit if you have sex in my room!". He's being held back by her other friend and all three of them start arguing. It turns out she's been a lesbian for exactly a week and he was actually her ex...who is now dating the friend holding him back. So I was fucking a guy's exgirlfriend in his room at his party, though they all make a point of telling me they don't blame me. I didn't drive to the party so I had to sit around for 45 minutes with this torrent raging all around me. Finally someone offers me a ride and I get the fuck out of there.
Epilogue: Over the years I ended up having sex with a couple of that guy's exs, most of which were a similar misunderstanding/i didn't know at the time. Surprisingly he's always been super cool, mostly because we're like brothers in our similar taste in crazies.
TLDR: For my first time I made a sexually confused girl cry with the size of my penis in her exboyfriend's room, and I didn't finish." | This is a cross post from the thread about first times, I think this qualifies here as well.
"This is my time to shine.
No regrets. She was introduced to me as a lesbian, but had been giving me the eye all night. We start making out at a party and she pulls me into her (male) friend's room and says it's cool. We begin having sex and after about two minutes she starts crying, saying I'm too big (which blew my fucking mind). I try consoling her but she wants her friend (a different one than the one whose room we're in). I have to go back out to the party, ask her friend to go in, then sit there awkwardly. After 10 minutes her friend comes out, asks me to go in. She's apologetic, I say it's alright, and she starts trying to initiate sex again... but needless to say I'm kind of not in the mood. Then her friend, the one whose room we're in, drunkenly bursts in saying, "Fine whatever, I don't give a shit if you have sex in my room!". He's being held back by her other friend and all three of them start arguing. It turns out she's been a lesbian for exactly a week and he was actually her ex...who is now dating the friend holding him back. So I was fucking a guy's exgirlfriend in his room at his party, though they all make a point of telling me they don't blame me. I didn't drive to the party so I had to sit around for 45 minutes with this torrent raging all around me. Finally someone offers me a ride and I get the fuck out of there.
Epilogue: Over the years I ended up having sex with a couple of that guy's exs, most of which were a similar misunderstanding/i didn't know at the time. Surprisingly he's always been super cool, mostly because we're like brothers in our similar taste in crazies.
TLDR: For my first time I made a sexually confused girl cry with the size of my penis in her exboyfriend's room, and I didn't finish."
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd88hfp | This is a cross post from the thread about first times, I think this qualifies here as well.
"This is my time to shine.
No regrets. She was introduced to me as a lesbian, but had been giving me the eye all night. We start making out at a party and she pulls me into her (male) friend's room and says it's cool. We begin having sex and after about two minutes she starts crying, saying I'm too big (which blew my fucking mind). I try consoling her but she wants her friend (a different one than the one whose room we're in). I have to go back out to the party, ask her friend to go in, then sit there awkwardly. After 10 minutes her friend comes out, asks me to go in. She's apologetic, I say it's alright, and she starts trying to initiate sex again... but needless to say I'm kind of not in the mood. Then her friend, the one whose room we're in, drunkenly bursts in saying, "Fine whatever, I don't give a shit if you have sex in my room!". He's being held back by her other friend and all three of them start arguing. It turns out she's been a lesbian for exactly a week and he was actually her ex...who is now dating the friend holding him back. So I was fucking a guy's exgirlfriend in his room at his party, though they all make a point of telling me they don't blame me. I didn't drive to the party so I had to sit around for 45 minutes with this torrent raging all around me. Finally someone offers me a ride and I get the fuck out of there.
Epilogue: Over the years I ended up having sex with a couple of that guy's exs, most of which were a similar misunderstanding/i didn't know at the time. Surprisingly he's always been super cool, mostly because we're like brothers in our similar taste in crazies. | For my first time I made a sexually confused girl cry with the size of my penis in her exboyfriend's room, and I didn't finish." |
INTENSECHOCOLATE | I'm excited to tell this.
alright, in high school, I dated your stereotypical, perfect, prom queen/ cheer captain girl, we'll call her "kim". she was a few years younger than me (16), and had an ogre of an older sister (well into the 200's, with a grizzled five a clock shadow, and hair greasier than a McDonald's frier) that was required to chauffeur us around. we never really got too much alone time, because her sister hovered like a helicopter.
coincidentally, me and my ex-girlfriends sister shared a birthday, so in order to celebrate my 18th birthday with my girlfriend, I had to also celebrate with shrek over here. we decided to double date. me with kim, and shrek with her girlfriend "fiona" (17).
We had a pretty standard date, movie, dinner, and whatnot. afterwards, fiona invited us to her house to watch movies. fiona's brother (16) eventually invited himself in, and we also invited another girl from school to come hang out with us (17). we were in a pretty small room, and there was only one bed, so we had to get pretty cozy with each other.
halfway through whatever movie we were watching, kim starts to stroke my meat. I was really uncomfortable with this because we were in a bed with a bunch of people, but at the same time, I was super horny and had no trouble keeping it up.
eventually, shrek catches on to what we're doing, and starts to fondle her girlfriend. **here's where shit gets weird**
i guess kim was turned on by all the strangeness/awkwardness/danger of the situation, but she got wetter than an otter's pocket after her sisiter, and fiona got going. after that everything kind of starts blurring, and clothes come off. I start pounding away at kim, and clothes start peeling before I know it. after a while, 6 sweaty, smelly, (some hairy), bodies are writhing in one bed. two pairs of siblings, two couples, and two rando's were just getting at each other. it was the most bizarre, sickening, primal, and satisfying moment of my life. this continued for maybe 2-3 hours, as we switched off partners, and recovered periodically. after everyone was properly satisfied, we kind of sat around in a daze, and tried to soak up what had just happened. kim's parents eventually called, and said they needed to go home. so like that, we all cleaned up, and dressed ourselves. we never spoke of it after.
**TL;DR I had an incestal orgy with my ex-girlfriend, and her yeti-sister.** | I'm excited to tell this.
alright, in high school, I dated your stereotypical, perfect, prom queen/ cheer captain girl, we'll call her "kim". she was a few years younger than me (16), and had an ogre of an older sister (well into the 200's, with a grizzled five a clock shadow, and hair greasier than a McDonald's frier) that was required to chauffeur us around. we never really got too much alone time, because her sister hovered like a helicopter.
coincidentally, me and my ex-girlfriends sister shared a birthday, so in order to celebrate my 18th birthday with my girlfriend, I had to also celebrate with shrek over here. we decided to double date. me with kim, and shrek with her girlfriend "fiona" (17).
We had a pretty standard date, movie, dinner, and whatnot. afterwards, fiona invited us to her house to watch movies. fiona's brother (16) eventually invited himself in, and we also invited another girl from school to come hang out with us (17). we were in a pretty small room, and there was only one bed, so we had to get pretty cozy with each other.
halfway through whatever movie we were watching, kim starts to stroke my meat. I was really uncomfortable with this because we were in a bed with a bunch of people, but at the same time, I was super horny and had no trouble keeping it up.
eventually, shrek catches on to what we're doing, and starts to fondle her girlfriend. here's where shit gets weird
i guess kim was turned on by all the strangeness/awkwardness/danger of the situation, but she got wetter than an otter's pocket after her sisiter, and fiona got going. after that everything kind of starts blurring, and clothes come off. I start pounding away at kim, and clothes start peeling before I know it. after a while, 6 sweaty, smelly, (some hairy), bodies are writhing in one bed. two pairs of siblings, two couples, and two rando's were just getting at each other. it was the most bizarre, sickening, primal, and satisfying moment of my life. this continued for maybe 2-3 hours, as we switched off partners, and recovered periodically. after everyone was properly satisfied, we kind of sat around in a daze, and tried to soak up what had just happened. kim's parents eventually called, and said they needed to go home. so like that, we all cleaned up, and dressed ourselves. we never spoke of it after.
TL;DR I had an incestal orgy with my ex-girlfriend, and her yeti-sister.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd88s8c | I'm excited to tell this.
alright, in high school, I dated your stereotypical, perfect, prom queen/ cheer captain girl, we'll call her "kim". she was a few years younger than me (16), and had an ogre of an older sister (well into the 200's, with a grizzled five a clock shadow, and hair greasier than a McDonald's frier) that was required to chauffeur us around. we never really got too much alone time, because her sister hovered like a helicopter.
coincidentally, me and my ex-girlfriends sister shared a birthday, so in order to celebrate my 18th birthday with my girlfriend, I had to also celebrate with shrek over here. we decided to double date. me with kim, and shrek with her girlfriend "fiona" (17).
We had a pretty standard date, movie, dinner, and whatnot. afterwards, fiona invited us to her house to watch movies. fiona's brother (16) eventually invited himself in, and we also invited another girl from school to come hang out with us (17). we were in a pretty small room, and there was only one bed, so we had to get pretty cozy with each other.
halfway through whatever movie we were watching, kim starts to stroke my meat. I was really uncomfortable with this because we were in a bed with a bunch of people, but at the same time, I was super horny and had no trouble keeping it up.
eventually, shrek catches on to what we're doing, and starts to fondle her girlfriend. here's where shit gets weird
i guess kim was turned on by all the strangeness/awkwardness/danger of the situation, but she got wetter than an otter's pocket after her sisiter, and fiona got going. after that everything kind of starts blurring, and clothes come off. I start pounding away at kim, and clothes start peeling before I know it. after a while, 6 sweaty, smelly, (some hairy), bodies are writhing in one bed. two pairs of siblings, two couples, and two rando's were just getting at each other. it was the most bizarre, sickening, primal, and satisfying moment of my life. this continued for maybe 2-3 hours, as we switched off partners, and recovered periodically. after everyone was properly satisfied, we kind of sat around in a daze, and tried to soak up what had just happened. kim's parents eventually called, and said they needed to go home. so like that, we all cleaned up, and dressed ourselves. we never spoke of it after. | I had an incestal orgy with my ex-girlfriend, and her yeti-sister. |
AlwaysQuotesTheWire | So, twice a year or so I get these craaaazy allergy attacks where my eyes just leak mucus or sometimes swell shut. I was out with my fam one Friday night when I was in high school, and I get a call from a couple friends saying that they need 'one more dude to even things out' for the night. Being half blind, I convince my dad to drive me like 45 minutes out of the way to this house with 3 high school chicks and 2 of my buddies. By the time I get there, my shit is all fucked up and I can barely see. I immidiately decided it was a good decision to take the lady that they had set up for me, and bring her into the bathroom so I could take a shower and hopefully wash my fucking eyeballs. I got head while half blind in the shower. Shower didn't fix much, but just as we got out, wrapped in towels to walk to the bedroom w/ everybody else, the mother of the girl whos house it was, came home. We skidaddled into the bedroom and I guess she later apologized to the mom. When the homies were finished thier turn, the three of us left, with me, still all fucking eye-snotty, laying down in the back seat. Homie still brings that story up to this day. "Hey, AQTW, remember that time u got head from that chick while u were all allergy fucked up"?
Same dude ended up as my roomate like 8 years later. In that pad, I got head from a chick I knew. Super deepthroaty drunk head. Next morning she could barely talk and had a 'sore throat'. My roommate (same dude who drove me home half blind) wouldn't let her live that one down and we haven't hooked up since.
TL;DR - got head in the midst of a crazy allergy attack in high school. Got head post-college n throat fucked her vocal chords.
*That's your problem...you let that thing of yours lead you around*
*You know me, whiskey, cock, and five o'clock!*
| So, twice a year or so I get these craaaazy allergy attacks where my eyes just leak mucus or sometimes swell shut. I was out with my fam one Friday night when I was in high school, and I get a call from a couple friends saying that they need 'one more dude to even things out' for the night. Being half blind, I convince my dad to drive me like 45 minutes out of the way to this house with 3 high school chicks and 2 of my buddies. By the time I get there, my shit is all fucked up and I can barely see. I immidiately decided it was a good decision to take the lady that they had set up for me, and bring her into the bathroom so I could take a shower and hopefully wash my fucking eyeballs. I got head while half blind in the shower. Shower didn't fix much, but just as we got out, wrapped in towels to walk to the bedroom w/ everybody else, the mother of the girl whos house it was, came home. We skidaddled into the bedroom and I guess she later apologized to the mom. When the homies were finished thier turn, the three of us left, with me, still all fucking eye-snotty, laying down in the back seat. Homie still brings that story up to this day. "Hey, AQTW, remember that time u got head from that chick while u were all allergy fucked up"?
Same dude ended up as my roomate like 8 years later. In that pad, I got head from a chick I knew. Super deepthroaty drunk head. Next morning she could barely talk and had a 'sore throat'. My roommate (same dude who drove me home half blind) wouldn't let her live that one down and we haven't hooked up since.
TL;DR - got head in the midst of a crazy allergy attack in high school. Got head post-college n throat fucked her vocal chords.
That's your problem...you let that thing of yours lead you around
You know me, whiskey, cock, and five o'clock!
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8bsj7 | So, twice a year or so I get these craaaazy allergy attacks where my eyes just leak mucus or sometimes swell shut. I was out with my fam one Friday night when I was in high school, and I get a call from a couple friends saying that they need 'one more dude to even things out' for the night. Being half blind, I convince my dad to drive me like 45 minutes out of the way to this house with 3 high school chicks and 2 of my buddies. By the time I get there, my shit is all fucked up and I can barely see. I immidiately decided it was a good decision to take the lady that they had set up for me, and bring her into the bathroom so I could take a shower and hopefully wash my fucking eyeballs. I got head while half blind in the shower. Shower didn't fix much, but just as we got out, wrapped in towels to walk to the bedroom w/ everybody else, the mother of the girl whos house it was, came home. We skidaddled into the bedroom and I guess she later apologized to the mom. When the homies were finished thier turn, the three of us left, with me, still all fucking eye-snotty, laying down in the back seat. Homie still brings that story up to this day. "Hey, AQTW, remember that time u got head from that chick while u were all allergy fucked up"?
Same dude ended up as my roomate like 8 years later. In that pad, I got head from a chick I knew. Super deepthroaty drunk head. Next morning she could barely talk and had a 'sore throat'. My roommate (same dude who drove me home half blind) wouldn't let her live that one down and we haven't hooked up since. | got head in the midst of a crazy allergy attack in high school. Got head post-college n throat fucked her vocal chords.
That's your problem...you let that thing of yours lead you around
You know me, whiskey, cock, and five o'clock! |
bradbrokill17 | Once I was visiting an ex of mine at her parents house for the first time. Her family was very open about sexuality and her parents had given us a no sex while your here talk that we faithfully ignored. During a quieter moment of one afternoon we went downstairs to get a lil frisky and her mom must have eventually heard us because she came downstairs very anouncedly (is that a word?) with a bowl of strawberries and proceded to sit on the corner of my ex's bed and eat them smirking at us hiding half under the covers. She offered us strawberries which I happily stuffed my face with. (They grow the best strawberries ever) We end up sitting there talking for a while before her sister comes in to ask to borrow the pants my girl had been wearing which were now on the floor. At this point we hear another person clomping down the stairs and her 5 or 6 year old brother comes in to join our little party and proceeds to be a rambunctious kid for a while and we all kind of ignore him. They continue to draw the situation out as they thought it was hillarious. Then her little brother comes over to us saying "mommy what's this" holding my ex's vibrator aloft. I'm still not sure how he found it and I swear I nearly bit a hole through my bottom lip trying not to laugh while she proceeded to try to explain how it was your sister's toy and please put it down NOW. He left after that and we all shit ourselves laughing.
Tldr ex's little brother found her vibrator while her family was present | Once I was visiting an ex of mine at her parents house for the first time. Her family was very open about sexuality and her parents had given us a no sex while your here talk that we faithfully ignored. During a quieter moment of one afternoon we went downstairs to get a lil frisky and her mom must have eventually heard us because she came downstairs very anouncedly (is that a word?) with a bowl of strawberries and proceded to sit on the corner of my ex's bed and eat them smirking at us hiding half under the covers. She offered us strawberries which I happily stuffed my face with. (They grow the best strawberries ever) We end up sitting there talking for a while before her sister comes in to ask to borrow the pants my girl had been wearing which were now on the floor. At this point we hear another person clomping down the stairs and her 5 or 6 year old brother comes in to join our little party and proceeds to be a rambunctious kid for a while and we all kind of ignore him. They continue to draw the situation out as they thought it was hillarious. Then her little brother comes over to us saying "mommy what's this" holding my ex's vibrator aloft. I'm still not sure how he found it and I swear I nearly bit a hole through my bottom lip trying not to laugh while she proceeded to try to explain how it was your sister's toy and please put it down NOW. He left after that and we all shit ourselves laughing.
Tldr ex's little brother found her vibrator while her family was present
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8bw7l | Once I was visiting an ex of mine at her parents house for the first time. Her family was very open about sexuality and her parents had given us a no sex while your here talk that we faithfully ignored. During a quieter moment of one afternoon we went downstairs to get a lil frisky and her mom must have eventually heard us because she came downstairs very anouncedly (is that a word?) with a bowl of strawberries and proceded to sit on the corner of my ex's bed and eat them smirking at us hiding half under the covers. She offered us strawberries which I happily stuffed my face with. (They grow the best strawberries ever) We end up sitting there talking for a while before her sister comes in to ask to borrow the pants my girl had been wearing which were now on the floor. At this point we hear another person clomping down the stairs and her 5 or 6 year old brother comes in to join our little party and proceeds to be a rambunctious kid for a while and we all kind of ignore him. They continue to draw the situation out as they thought it was hillarious. Then her little brother comes over to us saying "mommy what's this" holding my ex's vibrator aloft. I'm still not sure how he found it and I swear I nearly bit a hole through my bottom lip trying not to laugh while she proceeded to try to explain how it was your sister's toy and please put it down NOW. He left after that and we all shit ourselves laughing. | ex's little brother found her vibrator while her family was present |
Dasbaus | Growing up, I had a number of pet. One of which was my pet bunny that I rescued from some dumb bunch of stoners. His favorite thing to do was hop around the basement.
My first girlfriend and I did lots of things in the basement, but one June afternoon she was on her knees in front of me giving me the slurp and burp when out of nowhere, Gizmo the bunny comes flying at me, landing on her head and begins to hump her head with the fury of 1000 teenage boys during prom season.
I busted out laughing because his look of alpha dominance was amazing while he humped my girlfriends head.
She still finished then laughed as well. Gizmo finished as well, and she had to take a shower to get the bunny goo from her hair, and my cream of some young guy from her face.
Tl:dr my bunny humped my girlfriends head while she gave me head. | Growing up, I had a number of pet. One of which was my pet bunny that I rescued from some dumb bunch of stoners. His favorite thing to do was hop around the basement.
My first girlfriend and I did lots of things in the basement, but one June afternoon she was on her knees in front of me giving me the slurp and burp when out of nowhere, Gizmo the bunny comes flying at me, landing on her head and begins to hump her head with the fury of 1000 teenage boys during prom season.
I busted out laughing because his look of alpha dominance was amazing while he humped my girlfriends head.
She still finished then laughed as well. Gizmo finished as well, and she had to take a shower to get the bunny goo from her hair, and my cream of some young guy from her face.
Tl:dr my bunny humped my girlfriends head while she gave me head.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8c3kc | Growing up, I had a number of pet. One of which was my pet bunny that I rescued from some dumb bunch of stoners. His favorite thing to do was hop around the basement.
My first girlfriend and I did lots of things in the basement, but one June afternoon she was on her knees in front of me giving me the slurp and burp when out of nowhere, Gizmo the bunny comes flying at me, landing on her head and begins to hump her head with the fury of 1000 teenage boys during prom season.
I busted out laughing because his look of alpha dominance was amazing while he humped my girlfriends head.
She still finished then laughed as well. Gizmo finished as well, and she had to take a shower to get the bunny goo from her hair, and my cream of some young guy from her face. | my bunny humped my girlfriends head while she gave me head. |
rhiannon3141 | It isn't technically a sexual encounter of mine, but it was still interesting. Basically a house party a few years back, there were about thirty people there. I hear guitar playing from a bedroom, instinctively want to hear more so open the door. There in the corner is one of my friends playing beautiful guitar, but it's what was happening on the bed that shocked me. Eight of my close friends were engaged in an orgy. The best part was that two were brothers, and whilst spit roasting one unfortunate lady, they even hi fived. Brotherly love right there. Oh how my friends are filth.
TL;DR Walked in on my friends having an orgy in which two brothers hi fived whilst spit roasting one girl. | It isn't technically a sexual encounter of mine, but it was still interesting. Basically a house party a few years back, there were about thirty people there. I hear guitar playing from a bedroom, instinctively want to hear more so open the door. There in the corner is one of my friends playing beautiful guitar, but it's what was happening on the bed that shocked me. Eight of my close friends were engaged in an orgy. The best part was that two were brothers, and whilst spit roasting one unfortunate lady, they even hi fived. Brotherly love right there. Oh how my friends are filth.
TL;DR Walked in on my friends having an orgy in which two brothers hi fived whilst spit roasting one girl.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8c9b9 | It isn't technically a sexual encounter of mine, but it was still interesting. Basically a house party a few years back, there were about thirty people there. I hear guitar playing from a bedroom, instinctively want to hear more so open the door. There in the corner is one of my friends playing beautiful guitar, but it's what was happening on the bed that shocked me. Eight of my close friends were engaged in an orgy. The best part was that two were brothers, and whilst spit roasting one unfortunate lady, they even hi fived. Brotherly love right there. Oh how my friends are filth. | Walked in on my friends having an orgy in which two brothers hi fived whilst spit roasting one girl. |
noggnoskill | To set the mood you kinda need to see this [joke]( from Tommy Tiernan about someone who mistakes vaseline for Vicks Vapor rub while trying anal sex.
So myself and my gf maybe 4 years ago were getting interesting in the dark. She was feeling adventurous and sexy so she passes me a jar of vaseline without saying anything to try and hint that she wanted to try anal. Me in my inability to be smooth and sexy asked "what is it?" to which she responded "well it's not a jar of vicks vapor rub that's for fuckin' sure". Unfortunately we had both seen the joke and spent the next 20 minutes laughing our asses off. Anal was not done.
TL;DR Funny joke during sex makes me miss out on anal. | To set the mood you kinda need to see this [joke]( from Tommy Tiernan about someone who mistakes vaseline for Vicks Vapor rub while trying anal sex.
So myself and my gf maybe 4 years ago were getting interesting in the dark. She was feeling adventurous and sexy so she passes me a jar of vaseline without saying anything to try and hint that she wanted to try anal. Me in my inability to be smooth and sexy asked "what is it?" to which she responded "well it's not a jar of vicks vapor rub that's for fuckin' sure". Unfortunately we had both seen the joke and spent the next 20 minutes laughing our asses off. Anal was not done.
TL;DR Funny joke during sex makes me miss out on anal.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8ch6a | To set the mood you kinda need to see this [joke]( from Tommy Tiernan about someone who mistakes vaseline for Vicks Vapor rub while trying anal sex.
So myself and my gf maybe 4 years ago were getting interesting in the dark. She was feeling adventurous and sexy so she passes me a jar of vaseline without saying anything to try and hint that she wanted to try anal. Me in my inability to be smooth and sexy asked "what is it?" to which she responded "well it's not a jar of vicks vapor rub that's for fuckin' sure". Unfortunately we had both seen the joke and spent the next 20 minutes laughing our asses off. Anal was not done. | Funny joke during sex makes me miss out on anal. |
Milfoy | Staying at a hotel in Cannes, south of France with my girlfriend. Ended up on our balcony which overlooked a major square full of people going at it like rabbits, hidden by the balcony wall. About half way through she pointed out the massive shadows we were throwing on the side of the building, from the lights on our balcony which were there to light the side of the building, carried on regardless.
TL;DR Gave big porn shadow puppet show. | Staying at a hotel in Cannes, south of France with my girlfriend. Ended up on our balcony which overlooked a major square full of people going at it like rabbits, hidden by the balcony wall. About half way through she pointed out the massive shadows we were throwing on the side of the building, from the lights on our balcony which were there to light the side of the building, carried on regardless.
TL;DR Gave big porn shadow puppet show.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8derh | Staying at a hotel in Cannes, south of France with my girlfriend. Ended up on our balcony which overlooked a major square full of people going at it like rabbits, hidden by the balcony wall. About half way through she pointed out the massive shadows we were throwing on the side of the building, from the lights on our balcony which were there to light the side of the building, carried on regardless. | Gave big porn shadow puppet show. |
Roflitos | Back in High School I used to see a type of goth girl walk around always by herself, very pretty girl.. but Black outfit.. black lipstick.. stuff like that, which would scare most dudes. So I kinda felt the need to get to know her, and maybe even become friends.. One day I approached her and we talked for a while, and knowing her "goth" looks, I decided to mention music, which is something we probably shared, since i'm a big metal fan, and love goth / black metal. Long story short.. we talked for a few days and she invited me over to her place, fairly nice house, but her room.. oh god.. pentagrams, red candles, all black, band t-shirts, it was pretty fascinating to say the least. So anyways, one thing led to another and we started making out.. the next thing i know it all started happening.. I was going down on her.. and then she went down on me.. then well, we had sex. This is where it gets interesting or funny to everyone i told this story to, this female thought she was a werewolf of some sort.. and started acting like an one and howling, scratching and biting, which ill tell you.. was pretty fucking hot, she even cut me with a razor, and licked my blood, all this while listening to cradle of filth, the song, black goddess rises, I will never forget that. It's been over 6 or 7 years now.. still my most amazing sexual experience yet, because even as freaky and weird as it sounds.. it felt unbelievable.. to this day I haven't fuck someone with such passion and intensity, nor had that blood rush mid sex... After graduation I've never heard of her again.. even tried googling and facebooking her.. no hits ever.. I wish I could talk to her again to even say thanks, or maybe hookup again.
tl;dr: Sex with a goth chick who thought she was a werewolf and licked blood off a cut. Sexy and the best thing ever. | Back in High School I used to see a type of goth girl walk around always by herself, very pretty girl.. but Black outfit.. black lipstick.. stuff like that, which would scare most dudes. So I kinda felt the need to get to know her, and maybe even become friends.. One day I approached her and we talked for a while, and knowing her "goth" looks, I decided to mention music, which is something we probably shared, since i'm a big metal fan, and love goth / black metal. Long story short.. we talked for a few days and she invited me over to her place, fairly nice house, but her room.. oh god.. pentagrams, red candles, all black, band t-shirts, it was pretty fascinating to say the least. So anyways, one thing led to another and we started making out.. the next thing i know it all started happening.. I was going down on her.. and then she went down on me.. then well, we had sex. This is where it gets interesting or funny to everyone i told this story to, this female thought she was a werewolf of some sort.. and started acting like an one and howling, scratching and biting, which ill tell you.. was pretty fucking hot, she even cut me with a razor, and licked my blood, all this while listening to cradle of filth, the song, black goddess rises, I will never forget that. It's been over 6 or 7 years now.. still my most amazing sexual experience yet, because even as freaky and weird as it sounds.. it felt unbelievable.. to this day I haven't fuck someone with such passion and intensity, nor had that blood rush mid sex... After graduation I've never heard of her again.. even tried googling and facebooking her.. no hits ever.. I wish I could talk to her again to even say thanks, or maybe hookup again.
tl;dr: Sex with a goth chick who thought she was a werewolf and licked blood off a cut. Sexy and the best thing ever.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8devu | Back in High School I used to see a type of goth girl walk around always by herself, very pretty girl.. but Black outfit.. black lipstick.. stuff like that, which would scare most dudes. So I kinda felt the need to get to know her, and maybe even become friends.. One day I approached her and we talked for a while, and knowing her "goth" looks, I decided to mention music, which is something we probably shared, since i'm a big metal fan, and love goth / black metal. Long story short.. we talked for a few days and she invited me over to her place, fairly nice house, but her room.. oh god.. pentagrams, red candles, all black, band t-shirts, it was pretty fascinating to say the least. So anyways, one thing led to another and we started making out.. the next thing i know it all started happening.. I was going down on her.. and then she went down on me.. then well, we had sex. This is where it gets interesting or funny to everyone i told this story to, this female thought she was a werewolf of some sort.. and started acting like an one and howling, scratching and biting, which ill tell you.. was pretty fucking hot, she even cut me with a razor, and licked my blood, all this while listening to cradle of filth, the song, black goddess rises, I will never forget that. It's been over 6 or 7 years now.. still my most amazing sexual experience yet, because even as freaky and weird as it sounds.. it felt unbelievable.. to this day I haven't fuck someone with such passion and intensity, nor had that blood rush mid sex... After graduation I've never heard of her again.. even tried googling and facebooking her.. no hits ever.. I wish I could talk to her again to even say thanks, or maybe hookup again. | Sex with a goth chick who thought she was a werewolf and licked blood off a cut. Sexy and the best thing ever. |
mordacthedenier | My ex was giving me a blowjob, and she wasn't used to the... ferocity... an ejaculation can have, so she accidentally gave herself a facial, which went up her nose, got in her eye, hair, everything. So we went and took a shower, and when we came back discovered there was one final shot on the TV, which had partially dried. It mostly washed off. Mostly.
TL;DR left my mark on my ex's TV. | My ex was giving me a blowjob, and she wasn't used to the... ferocity... an ejaculation can have, so she accidentally gave herself a facial, which went up her nose, got in her eye, hair, everything. So we went and took a shower, and when we came back discovered there was one final shot on the TV, which had partially dried. It mostly washed off. Mostly.
TL;DR left my mark on my ex's TV.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8dlcn | My ex was giving me a blowjob, and she wasn't used to the... ferocity... an ejaculation can have, so she accidentally gave herself a facial, which went up her nose, got in her eye, hair, everything. So we went and took a shower, and when we came back discovered there was one final shot on the TV, which had partially dried. It mostly washed off. Mostly. | left my mark on my ex's TV. |
itslolo | I was single and had a friend's with benefits agreement going on with this girl. Well earlier in the day, I was at my friends taco shop making new sauces for them. I neglected to wear any gloves while cutting habaneros and jalapeños. Fast forward 6 hours and we're getting busy. After 2 minutes of my hand being down there, she tells me her vagina burns. I find it quite awkward. She begins to scream and yell and runs to the bathroom to rinse her pussy off with cold water. I run to the kitchen and grab so cold milk to help out. Cops show up and ask me if everything is okay. She proceeds to yell from the bathroom that everything is ok, that her vagina is on fire though.
TL;DR I set a girls vagina on fire with pepper residue on my finger nails | I was single and had a friend's with benefits agreement going on with this girl. Well earlier in the day, I was at my friends taco shop making new sauces for them. I neglected to wear any gloves while cutting habaneros and jalapeños. Fast forward 6 hours and we're getting busy. After 2 minutes of my hand being down there, she tells me her vagina burns. I find it quite awkward. She begins to scream and yell and runs to the bathroom to rinse her pussy off with cold water. I run to the kitchen and grab so cold milk to help out. Cops show up and ask me if everything is okay. She proceeds to yell from the bathroom that everything is ok, that her vagina is on fire though.
TL;DR I set a girls vagina on fire with pepper residue on my finger nails
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8e70s | I was single and had a friend's with benefits agreement going on with this girl. Well earlier in the day, I was at my friends taco shop making new sauces for them. I neglected to wear any gloves while cutting habaneros and jalapeños. Fast forward 6 hours and we're getting busy. After 2 minutes of my hand being down there, she tells me her vagina burns. I find it quite awkward. She begins to scream and yell and runs to the bathroom to rinse her pussy off with cold water. I run to the kitchen and grab so cold milk to help out. Cops show up and ask me if everything is okay. She proceeds to yell from the bathroom that everything is ok, that her vagina is on fire though. | I set a girls vagina on fire with pepper residue on my finger nails |
buschdogg | OK.. I think I've got one that fits in here.
To preface: my ex was a squirter. And when I say that, I don't mean like "Oh, look at that little wet spot.. is that squirt?" I mean like, "Holy shit, we've ruined the mattress.. on both sides.. are you fucking Niagra falls incarnate" type squirting.
Luckily, by the time we got our second mattress, I had the wherewithall to purchase a full-size mattress pad. Anyway, one night we imbibed what could only be described accurately as one shit-ton of booze. We got home and went at it for a bit, but soon decided that passing out was probably the best option for both of us.
Fast forward to 4 in the morning. I'm lying there like a 6'5" cherubic angel in a blissful sleep of innocence. All of a sudden, my 5'4" gf is on top of me. Riding me... with her eyes closed. And she is all about the non-cock she isn't receiving. I mean, in reality she wasn't even physically touching my dick, but it didn't matter because in her drunken dream-state, she was moving around, bucking up and down and riding the hell out of my ghostpenis.. Here she is, asleep, pinning both my arms down while straddling me when she says, "I'm gonna squirt!"
No. No she wasn't.
Have you ever been pinned down by a sleeping person while they proceeded to blatantly piss all over you? I have, my Reddit friends, and let me tell you, it's less fun than it sounds. I'm yelling, "Noooooooooo.. stoooopppppppppp!!!" And she, kind of opening her eyes, exclaims, "It's OK!" "No!!! It fucking isn't!!" I almost threw her off of me, but was worried she would crash into the 55 gallon aquarium next to my bed, so I just waited it out. Like a trooper.
Around the time she finished, she realized what she was doing. She wouldn't let me tell anyone for 3 weeks. When she finally did, I told everyone. I also drew illustrations in Microsoft Paint. If you can't laugh at yourself...
TL;DR: My gf peed the bed during sleep sex, but I was the bed. | OK.. I think I've got one that fits in here.
To preface: my ex was a squirter. And when I say that, I don't mean like "Oh, look at that little wet spot.. is that squirt?" I mean like, "Holy shit, we've ruined the mattress.. on both sides.. are you fucking Niagra falls incarnate" type squirting.
Luckily, by the time we got our second mattress, I had the wherewithall to purchase a full-size mattress pad. Anyway, one night we imbibed what could only be described accurately as one shit-ton of booze. We got home and went at it for a bit, but soon decided that passing out was probably the best option for both of us.
Fast forward to 4 in the morning. I'm lying there like a 6'5" cherubic angel in a blissful sleep of innocence. All of a sudden, my 5'4" gf is on top of me. Riding me... with her eyes closed. And she is all about the non-cock she isn't receiving. I mean, in reality she wasn't even physically touching my dick, but it didn't matter because in her drunken dream-state, she was moving around, bucking up and down and riding the hell out of my ghostpenis.. Here she is, asleep, pinning both my arms down while straddling me when she says, "I'm gonna squirt!"
No. No she wasn't.
Have you ever been pinned down by a sleeping person while they proceeded to blatantly piss all over you? I have, my Reddit friends, and let me tell you, it's less fun than it sounds. I'm yelling, "Noooooooooo.. stoooopppppppppp!!!" And she, kind of opening her eyes, exclaims, "It's OK!" "No!!! It fucking isn't!!" I almost threw her off of me, but was worried she would crash into the 55 gallon aquarium next to my bed, so I just waited it out. Like a trooper.
Around the time she finished, she realized what she was doing. She wouldn't let me tell anyone for 3 weeks. When she finally did, I told everyone. I also drew illustrations in Microsoft Paint. If you can't laugh at yourself...
TL;DR: My gf peed the bed during sleep sex, but I was the bed.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8eaw0 | OK.. I think I've got one that fits in here.
To preface: my ex was a squirter. And when I say that, I don't mean like "Oh, look at that little wet spot.. is that squirt?" I mean like, "Holy shit, we've ruined the mattress.. on both sides.. are you fucking Niagra falls incarnate" type squirting.
Luckily, by the time we got our second mattress, I had the wherewithall to purchase a full-size mattress pad. Anyway, one night we imbibed what could only be described accurately as one shit-ton of booze. We got home and went at it for a bit, but soon decided that passing out was probably the best option for both of us.
Fast forward to 4 in the morning. I'm lying there like a 6'5" cherubic angel in a blissful sleep of innocence. All of a sudden, my 5'4" gf is on top of me. Riding me... with her eyes closed. And she is all about the non-cock she isn't receiving. I mean, in reality she wasn't even physically touching my dick, but it didn't matter because in her drunken dream-state, she was moving around, bucking up and down and riding the hell out of my ghostpenis.. Here she is, asleep, pinning both my arms down while straddling me when she says, "I'm gonna squirt!"
No. No she wasn't.
Have you ever been pinned down by a sleeping person while they proceeded to blatantly piss all over you? I have, my Reddit friends, and let me tell you, it's less fun than it sounds. I'm yelling, "Noooooooooo.. stoooopppppppppp!!!" And she, kind of opening her eyes, exclaims, "It's OK!" "No!!! It fucking isn't!!" I almost threw her off of me, but was worried she would crash into the 55 gallon aquarium next to my bed, so I just waited it out. Like a trooper.
Around the time she finished, she realized what she was doing. She wouldn't let me tell anyone for 3 weeks. When she finally did, I told everyone. I also drew illustrations in Microsoft Paint. If you can't laugh at yourself... | My gf peed the bed during sleep sex, but I was the bed. |
BigKingNasty | During the summer two years ago I needed surgery on my groin and one testicle, from a ligament injury playing rugby. After surgery doc tells me that I need to wait at least 1 week before engaging in coitus.
Doc pls.
Next day I was banging my girlfriend. Ended up retearing the ligament (testicle was fine just hurt like a mother fucker). Doc took one look at me when I came in and just smiled and shook his head.
TLDR; Had sex | During the summer two years ago I needed surgery on my groin and one testicle, from a ligament injury playing rugby. After surgery doc tells me that I need to wait at least 1 week before engaging in coitus.
Doc pls.
Next day I was banging my girlfriend. Ended up retearing the ligament (testicle was fine just hurt like a mother fucker). Doc took one look at me when I came in and just smiled and shook his head.
TLDR; Had sex
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8elw3 | During the summer two years ago I needed surgery on my groin and one testicle, from a ligament injury playing rugby. After surgery doc tells me that I need to wait at least 1 week before engaging in coitus.
Doc pls.
Next day I was banging my girlfriend. Ended up retearing the ligament (testicle was fine just hurt like a mother fucker). Doc took one look at me when I came in and just smiled and shook his head. | Had sex |
originalnats | Went home with a girl after a night of drinking to her house. I'm laying on the bed and she is giving me head. Apparently I was in her cat's spot, who was pretty territorial, and it disapproved of me being there. It walked up right above my head without me noticing, I was a little distracted, and started smacking my head. After realizing what happened, I started laughing my head off. Ended up being a good night but apparently she told some of her friends so I am asked by random people about the "cat night".
TL;DR got punched in the head by a cat while getting head | Went home with a girl after a night of drinking to her house. I'm laying on the bed and she is giving me head. Apparently I was in her cat's spot, who was pretty territorial, and it disapproved of me being there. It walked up right above my head without me noticing, I was a little distracted, and started smacking my head. After realizing what happened, I started laughing my head off. Ended up being a good night but apparently she told some of her friends so I am asked by random people about the "cat night".
TL;DR got punched in the head by a cat while getting head
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8erg7 | Went home with a girl after a night of drinking to her house. I'm laying on the bed and she is giving me head. Apparently I was in her cat's spot, who was pretty territorial, and it disapproved of me being there. It walked up right above my head without me noticing, I was a little distracted, and started smacking my head. After realizing what happened, I started laughing my head off. Ended up being a good night but apparently she told some of her friends so I am asked by random people about the "cat night". | got punched in the head by a cat while getting head |
nigel_with_the_brie | was banging the boyfriend, he finished and pulled out. without a condom on. i tried my best to go in there and find it, but my fingers aren't incredibly long and i couldn't find it, so I sent a man in (him) to do his best. eventually he found it and pulled it out, and when he did, I was in the most extreme abdominal pain I've ever felt. Picture the worst period cramps you've ever had, and multiply it by 100. I was literally writhing around on the bed for what I thought was about a half hour (turns out it was about 45 seconds). Then all of a sudden it stopped... at which point I stood up and puked in a garbage bag he had in his room. When I puked, some kind of liquid came out of my vag (not pee or semen... i dont even know), my whole body started shaking, i sneezed like 7 times, and then farted. we had only been dating a few weeks and he just stood there all like "...what?". thankfully he was cool about that, but i don't think we were comfortable enough together to share all of those bodily experiences + a pregnancy scare all in under a minute. it didn't work out.
tl;dr-condom fell off inside me, found it, removed it, get entirely betrayed by my own body. | was banging the boyfriend, he finished and pulled out. without a condom on. i tried my best to go in there and find it, but my fingers aren't incredibly long and i couldn't find it, so I sent a man in (him) to do his best. eventually he found it and pulled it out, and when he did, I was in the most extreme abdominal pain I've ever felt. Picture the worst period cramps you've ever had, and multiply it by 100. I was literally writhing around on the bed for what I thought was about a half hour (turns out it was about 45 seconds). Then all of a sudden it stopped... at which point I stood up and puked in a garbage bag he had in his room. When I puked, some kind of liquid came out of my vag (not pee or semen... i dont even know), my whole body started shaking, i sneezed like 7 times, and then farted. we had only been dating a few weeks and he just stood there all like "...what?". thankfully he was cool about that, but i don't think we were comfortable enough together to share all of those bodily experiences + a pregnancy scare all in under a minute. it didn't work out.
tl;dr-condom fell off inside me, found it, removed it, get entirely betrayed by my own body.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8g8oj | was banging the boyfriend, he finished and pulled out. without a condom on. i tried my best to go in there and find it, but my fingers aren't incredibly long and i couldn't find it, so I sent a man in (him) to do his best. eventually he found it and pulled it out, and when he did, I was in the most extreme abdominal pain I've ever felt. Picture the worst period cramps you've ever had, and multiply it by 100. I was literally writhing around on the bed for what I thought was about a half hour (turns out it was about 45 seconds). Then all of a sudden it stopped... at which point I stood up and puked in a garbage bag he had in his room. When I puked, some kind of liquid came out of my vag (not pee or semen... i dont even know), my whole body started shaking, i sneezed like 7 times, and then farted. we had only been dating a few weeks and he just stood there all like "...what?". thankfully he was cool about that, but i don't think we were comfortable enough together to share all of those bodily experiences + a pregnancy scare all in under a minute. it didn't work out. | condom fell off inside me, found it, removed it, get entirely betrayed by my own body. |
scartysquatch | In my home town we have a huge Halloween party down town where you pay $10 to get into 8 bars in the area. Basically everyone from 19-30 years old shows up in costumes and party's. So I am in line to get drinks in one of the bars and this place is PACKED with people. My girl friend who is dressed in a school girl costume is smooshed up in front of me. Long story short, I lifted her school girl skirt and unzipped my fly and we banged in line. The funny thing is that no one had a fucking clue, that's how packed the place was.
TL;DR Had sex in line to buy a drink at a busy bar. | In my home town we have a huge Halloween party down town where you pay $10 to get into 8 bars in the area. Basically everyone from 19-30 years old shows up in costumes and party's. So I am in line to get drinks in one of the bars and this place is PACKED with people. My girl friend who is dressed in a school girl costume is smooshed up in front of me. Long story short, I lifted her school girl skirt and unzipped my fly and we banged in line. The funny thing is that no one had a fucking clue, that's how packed the place was.
TL;DR Had sex in line to buy a drink at a busy bar.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8gume | In my home town we have a huge Halloween party down town where you pay $10 to get into 8 bars in the area. Basically everyone from 19-30 years old shows up in costumes and party's. So I am in line to get drinks in one of the bars and this place is PACKED with people. My girl friend who is dressed in a school girl costume is smooshed up in front of me. Long story short, I lifted her school girl skirt and unzipped my fly and we banged in line. The funny thing is that no one had a fucking clue, that's how packed the place was. | Had sex in line to buy a drink at a busy bar. |
mimiincognito | So, I had this girlfriend (a Chinese Catholic virgin lesbian roommate girlfriend [because if I'm going to check-off stereotypes, I might as well do a whole bunch at once]). A ways into our relationship, when she started to become more adventurous, I purchased a bullet vibrator. She was a bit nervous about using it, but I got her warmed up to it by spending a lengthy amount of time teasing her before actually letting it contact her girl-bits.
Once she got into it, she was really quite into it. I decided I'd let her experience it internally. As I was pushing it inside, I was focused on sucking on her clit, but when she went *"Oh..."*, sort of surprised-like, I stopped and asked her what was happening. She looked me straight in the eye and said *"I think I suffocated it."*.
The battery in the vibrator died upon the exact moment of insertion because it was worn down from warming her up.
I was laughing too hard to continue for nearly five minutes.
TL;DR: when batteries in vibrator die, inexperienced gf thinks she suffocated it with her vagina | So, I had this girlfriend (a Chinese Catholic virgin lesbian roommate girlfriend [because if I'm going to check-off stereotypes, I might as well do a whole bunch at once]). A ways into our relationship, when she started to become more adventurous, I purchased a bullet vibrator. She was a bit nervous about using it, but I got her warmed up to it by spending a lengthy amount of time teasing her before actually letting it contact her girl-bits.
Once she got into it, she was really quite into it. I decided I'd let her experience it internally. As I was pushing it inside, I was focused on sucking on her clit, but when she went "Oh..." , sort of surprised-like, I stopped and asked her what was happening. She looked me straight in the eye and said "I think I suffocated it." .
The battery in the vibrator died upon the exact moment of insertion because it was worn down from warming her up.
I was laughing too hard to continue for nearly five minutes.
TL;DR: when batteries in vibrator die, inexperienced gf thinks she suffocated it with her vagina
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8hklw | So, I had this girlfriend (a Chinese Catholic virgin lesbian roommate girlfriend [because if I'm going to check-off stereotypes, I might as well do a whole bunch at once]). A ways into our relationship, when she started to become more adventurous, I purchased a bullet vibrator. She was a bit nervous about using it, but I got her warmed up to it by spending a lengthy amount of time teasing her before actually letting it contact her girl-bits.
Once she got into it, she was really quite into it. I decided I'd let her experience it internally. As I was pushing it inside, I was focused on sucking on her clit, but when she went "Oh..." , sort of surprised-like, I stopped and asked her what was happening. She looked me straight in the eye and said "I think I suffocated it." .
The battery in the vibrator died upon the exact moment of insertion because it was worn down from warming her up.
I was laughing too hard to continue for nearly five minutes. | when batteries in vibrator die, inexperienced gf thinks she suffocated it with her vagina |
theshyslut | Long time lurker, first time poster..
When I was in high school one of my friends got evicted from his house, and being highly irresponsible, we decided to throw a party there as no one else had moved in and he still had the keys. No one seemed to think this was a bad idea because we were always pretty desperate for a warm place to party (I live in Canada). So anyways, the party gets going and my crush shows up. I was totally infatuated with this boy, and due to amount of alcohol I had consumed it was pretty obvious to him and everyone else. Long story short, I get him in the bathroom and we start hooking up. We're making out and feeling each other up and soon enough we start having sex... I'm sitting on the bathroom counter and he's standing up fucking me with my legs wrapped around him. It was all going very well until there was a loud knock on the door, followed by "POLICE, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE WE KICK IT DOWN". I have never gotten dressed so fast in my life. We open the door and are immediately cuffed and told we are being arrested for breaking and entering. We were never actually charged...I cried my way out of that, thankfully, but it was somewhat embarrassing. It wasn't until later that I found out that the boy I was with had been a virgin up until that night...not going to lie, I think thats a pretty awesome fucking virginity story to have.
TL;DR Took his virginity, got arrested | Long time lurker, first time poster..
When I was in high school one of my friends got evicted from his house, and being highly irresponsible, we decided to throw a party there as no one else had moved in and he still had the keys. No one seemed to think this was a bad idea because we were always pretty desperate for a warm place to party (I live in Canada). So anyways, the party gets going and my crush shows up. I was totally infatuated with this boy, and due to amount of alcohol I had consumed it was pretty obvious to him and everyone else. Long story short, I get him in the bathroom and we start hooking up. We're making out and feeling each other up and soon enough we start having sex... I'm sitting on the bathroom counter and he's standing up fucking me with my legs wrapped around him. It was all going very well until there was a loud knock on the door, followed by "POLICE, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE WE KICK IT DOWN". I have never gotten dressed so fast in my life. We open the door and are immediately cuffed and told we are being arrested for breaking and entering. We were never actually charged...I cried my way out of that, thankfully, but it was somewhat embarrassing. It wasn't until later that I found out that the boy I was with had been a virgin up until that night...not going to lie, I think thats a pretty awesome fucking virginity story to have.
TL;DR Took his virginity, got arrested
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8hu05 | Long time lurker, first time poster..
When I was in high school one of my friends got evicted from his house, and being highly irresponsible, we decided to throw a party there as no one else had moved in and he still had the keys. No one seemed to think this was a bad idea because we were always pretty desperate for a warm place to party (I live in Canada). So anyways, the party gets going and my crush shows up. I was totally infatuated with this boy, and due to amount of alcohol I had consumed it was pretty obvious to him and everyone else. Long story short, I get him in the bathroom and we start hooking up. We're making out and feeling each other up and soon enough we start having sex... I'm sitting on the bathroom counter and he's standing up fucking me with my legs wrapped around him. It was all going very well until there was a loud knock on the door, followed by "POLICE, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE WE KICK IT DOWN". I have never gotten dressed so fast in my life. We open the door and are immediately cuffed and told we are being arrested for breaking and entering. We were never actually charged...I cried my way out of that, thankfully, but it was somewhat embarrassing. It wasn't until later that I found out that the boy I was with had been a virgin up until that night...not going to lie, I think thats a pretty awesome fucking virginity story to have. | Took his virginity, got arrested |
extravagant1110 | Been waiting for this question but am probably too late. I was 16. I am at a typical house party that was a little but crazier than I usually went too. I didn't know ANYBODY there except for the friend I attended with. We were one of the first there and after a few minutes, a group if two girls came in and we gave a very brief introduction in saying hello and exchanging names. Fast forward to being a drunk and high 16 year old. I go outside and and see the one of the girls I had briefly introduced myself to before sitting on a bench. Let's call her Sarah. So I sit down next Sarah and said bench. There were two others outside standing around with drinks. I don't remember what we said but after a few minutes the others go inside and it is just me and Sarah. After roughly 12 seconds and 0 seconds later, Sarah an I are making out crazily on this bench. After a few minutes it am fingering her OUTSIDE on a bench. She muttered something in between passionate hooking up about a boyfriend that was going to be mad at her. Drunk me didn't give it a second thought.after a few minutes of this, I iffer to go upstairs. We enter the building and walk upstairs. Ensue more fireplay and after a few more minutes, before I knew it we were having sex. After maybe 30 seconds of drunk and difficult sex. I hear someone screaming. At first I didn't understand it but a second time I realized someone was in the room. He screamed again "YOU'RE FUCKING MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!" The next thin I know she rolls behind me to protect herself and a cooler A FULL SIZE FUCKING COOLER comes hurling towards my head. On the throwing end was a huge, 275 pound linebacker looking guy. He runs towards me and punches me multiple times in the face before he demands my naked and baked self fight him. I pulled up my pants and high tailed out of there. It ended up that he drove himself home, drunk and enraged with two cars following behind in order to ensure he didn't make come back goodon his threats to slit my throat. I did not sleep one wink that night and woke my friend up at 7am so we could kindly return before he changed his mind. And miraculously, my mom believed that I fell. I have never talked to Sarah ever gain. And that ladies and gentlemen is the story of how I lost my virginity.
Tl;dr don't have sex with people's girlfriends | Been waiting for this question but am probably too late. I was 16. I am at a typical house party that was a little but crazier than I usually went too. I didn't know ANYBODY there except for the friend I attended with. We were one of the first there and after a few minutes, a group if two girls came in and we gave a very brief introduction in saying hello and exchanging names. Fast forward to being a drunk and high 16 year old. I go outside and and see the one of the girls I had briefly introduced myself to before sitting on a bench. Let's call her Sarah. So I sit down next Sarah and said bench. There were two others outside standing around with drinks. I don't remember what we said but after a few minutes the others go inside and it is just me and Sarah. After roughly 12 seconds and 0 seconds later, Sarah an I are making out crazily on this bench. After a few minutes it am fingering her OUTSIDE on a bench. She muttered something in between passionate hooking up about a boyfriend that was going to be mad at her. Drunk me didn't give it a second thought.after a few minutes of this, I iffer to go upstairs. We enter the building and walk upstairs. Ensue more fireplay and after a few more minutes, before I knew it we were having sex. After maybe 30 seconds of drunk and difficult sex. I hear someone screaming. At first I didn't understand it but a second time I realized someone was in the room. He screamed again "YOU'RE FUCKING MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!" The next thin I know she rolls behind me to protect herself and a cooler A FULL SIZE FUCKING COOLER comes hurling towards my head. On the throwing end was a huge, 275 pound linebacker looking guy. He runs towards me and punches me multiple times in the face before he demands my naked and baked self fight him. I pulled up my pants and high tailed out of there. It ended up that he drove himself home, drunk and enraged with two cars following behind in order to ensure he didn't make come back goodon his threats to slit my throat. I did not sleep one wink that night and woke my friend up at 7am so we could kindly return before he changed his mind. And miraculously, my mom believed that I fell. I have never talked to Sarah ever gain. And that ladies and gentlemen is the story of how I lost my virginity.
Tl;dr don't have sex with people's girlfriends
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8ikw9 | Been waiting for this question but am probably too late. I was 16. I am at a typical house party that was a little but crazier than I usually went too. I didn't know ANYBODY there except for the friend I attended with. We were one of the first there and after a few minutes, a group if two girls came in and we gave a very brief introduction in saying hello and exchanging names. Fast forward to being a drunk and high 16 year old. I go outside and and see the one of the girls I had briefly introduced myself to before sitting on a bench. Let's call her Sarah. So I sit down next Sarah and said bench. There were two others outside standing around with drinks. I don't remember what we said but after a few minutes the others go inside and it is just me and Sarah. After roughly 12 seconds and 0 seconds later, Sarah an I are making out crazily on this bench. After a few minutes it am fingering her OUTSIDE on a bench. She muttered something in between passionate hooking up about a boyfriend that was going to be mad at her. Drunk me didn't give it a second thought.after a few minutes of this, I iffer to go upstairs. We enter the building and walk upstairs. Ensue more fireplay and after a few more minutes, before I knew it we were having sex. After maybe 30 seconds of drunk and difficult sex. I hear someone screaming. At first I didn't understand it but a second time I realized someone was in the room. He screamed again "YOU'RE FUCKING MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!" The next thin I know she rolls behind me to protect herself and a cooler A FULL SIZE FUCKING COOLER comes hurling towards my head. On the throwing end was a huge, 275 pound linebacker looking guy. He runs towards me and punches me multiple times in the face before he demands my naked and baked self fight him. I pulled up my pants and high tailed out of there. It ended up that he drove himself home, drunk and enraged with two cars following behind in order to ensure he didn't make come back goodon his threats to slit my throat. I did not sleep one wink that night and woke my friend up at 7am so we could kindly return before he changed his mind. And miraculously, my mom believed that I fell. I have never talked to Sarah ever gain. And that ladies and gentlemen is the story of how I lost my virginity. | don't have sex with people's girlfriends |
ornerythopter | My ex and I were enjoying sex for the first time (we were each other's first, and after the first couple of minutes of bleeding it was extremely hot), when she starts vibrating and shaking on top of me, and I look down from her face and realized we had both came, myself without realizing it out of sheer bliss at the feeling, after which she told me it was the feeling of my cumming that made her orgasm. after an initial freakout about a baby scare, since we were both 16, we went "fuck it" and read some x-men comics I'd started collecting.
TL;DR My/her first fuck, mutual orgasm, baby scare, awww yiss comics! | My ex and I were enjoying sex for the first time (we were each other's first, and after the first couple of minutes of bleeding it was extremely hot), when she starts vibrating and shaking on top of me, and I look down from her face and realized we had both came, myself without realizing it out of sheer bliss at the feeling, after which she told me it was the feeling of my cumming that made her orgasm. after an initial freakout about a baby scare, since we were both 16, we went "fuck it" and read some x-men comics I'd started collecting.
TL;DR My/her first fuck, mutual orgasm, baby scare, awww yiss comics!
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8imj3 | My ex and I were enjoying sex for the first time (we were each other's first, and after the first couple of minutes of bleeding it was extremely hot), when she starts vibrating and shaking on top of me, and I look down from her face and realized we had both came, myself without realizing it out of sheer bliss at the feeling, after which she told me it was the feeling of my cumming that made her orgasm. after an initial freakout about a baby scare, since we were both 16, we went "fuck it" and read some x-men comics I'd started collecting. | My/her first fuck, mutual orgasm, baby scare, awww yiss comics! |
BlameSupermoon | Here's another one....
I have this friend that worked for me at one time and one day after some day drinking she blows me and we have sex. (that's not the story)
So our rapport is super relaxed and casual and she's like "you really have a big dick, I'm going to call you 'porno dick'". So we casually mess around from time to time afterwards when she tells me that she works for this MILF that's super attractive and loaded, but is a functioning alcoholic. In her words, she "must" have a two big gulps full of vodka before noon. So being my horny self I find out that they're hanging at the local bar one night. Sue me, but I knew I could score with this MILF, so we're sitting at the bar and we started talking about her ex-husband. She mentioned something sexual and I said, "wanna see what you talking like that is doing for me?" So I take her hand and put it on my penis. She says "I don't think I deserve a dick like that." I tell her nonsense and tell her to come outside so we can talk about it. Long story short, I whip out my penis and she proceeds to blow me until I cum in her mouth.....she swallowed. Then I casually walked her back inside and we continue our drinks.
TL;DR: I bang a girl and knowingly set out to get a bj from her lush of an employer too. Don't care if first girl knew and felt like a pimp once I got home.
| Here's another one....
I have this friend that worked for me at one time and one day after some day drinking she blows me and we have sex. (that's not the story)
So our rapport is super relaxed and casual and she's like "you really have a big dick, I'm going to call you 'porno dick'". So we casually mess around from time to time afterwards when she tells me that she works for this MILF that's super attractive and loaded, but is a functioning alcoholic. In her words, she "must" have a two big gulps full of vodka before noon. So being my horny self I find out that they're hanging at the local bar one night. Sue me, but I knew I could score with this MILF, so we're sitting at the bar and we started talking about her ex-husband. She mentioned something sexual and I said, "wanna see what you talking like that is doing for me?" So I take her hand and put it on my penis. She says "I don't think I deserve a dick like that." I tell her nonsense and tell her to come outside so we can talk about it. Long story short, I whip out my penis and she proceeds to blow me until I cum in her mouth.....she swallowed. Then I casually walked her back inside and we continue our drinks.
TL;DR: I bang a girl and knowingly set out to get a bj from her lush of an employer too. Don't care if first girl knew and felt like a pimp once I got home.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8iud2 | Here's another one....
I have this friend that worked for me at one time and one day after some day drinking she blows me and we have sex. (that's not the story)
So our rapport is super relaxed and casual and she's like "you really have a big dick, I'm going to call you 'porno dick'". So we casually mess around from time to time afterwards when she tells me that she works for this MILF that's super attractive and loaded, but is a functioning alcoholic. In her words, she "must" have a two big gulps full of vodka before noon. So being my horny self I find out that they're hanging at the local bar one night. Sue me, but I knew I could score with this MILF, so we're sitting at the bar and we started talking about her ex-husband. She mentioned something sexual and I said, "wanna see what you talking like that is doing for me?" So I take her hand and put it on my penis. She says "I don't think I deserve a dick like that." I tell her nonsense and tell her to come outside so we can talk about it. Long story short, I whip out my penis and she proceeds to blow me until I cum in her mouth.....she swallowed. Then I casually walked her back inside and we continue our drinks. | I bang a girl and knowingly set out to get a bj from her lush of an employer too. Don't care if first girl knew and felt like a pimp once I got home. |
teh_blackest_of_men | Went out to a party and met this hot blonde; we danced, drank, one thing leads to another and we're both stumbling back the few blocks to my place. We get to the bedroom and start at it, but in the middle of fucking, without saying a word, she gets up and walks over to my wastepaper basket (a metal mesh affair, tiny holes all up the sides) and proceeds to squat down and piss in it. Keep in mind, my living quarters are fully equipped with indoor plumbing, and as such a toilet is literally 15 ft. from where she is standing. Then, still silent, as urine leeks slowly out of my trashcan, she walks back to bed and passes out.
At this point, I really didn't know what else to do, so I just cleaned it up (gotta love that clorox) and as I returned my cleaning supplies to their rightful place, had a cigarette outside.
Which is how I see her, wearing only her underwear and carrying everything else in a bundle in her arms, running out the back door in the summer moonlight. I met her again (she was a friend of a friend, at whose party I met her originally) at a bar. Apparently she was blacked out, didn't remember leaving the party with me, woke up naked in a strange bed, and her first instinct was to flee as fast as possible. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she peed in my trashcan, since she seemed pretty embarrassed by everything else.
Tl;DR: Blackout girl peed all over my floor and fled the scene. I didn't have the heart to tell her about it. | Went out to a party and met this hot blonde; we danced, drank, one thing leads to another and we're both stumbling back the few blocks to my place. We get to the bedroom and start at it, but in the middle of fucking, without saying a word, she gets up and walks over to my wastepaper basket (a metal mesh affair, tiny holes all up the sides) and proceeds to squat down and piss in it. Keep in mind, my living quarters are fully equipped with indoor plumbing, and as such a toilet is literally 15 ft. from where she is standing. Then, still silent, as urine leeks slowly out of my trashcan, she walks back to bed and passes out.
At this point, I really didn't know what else to do, so I just cleaned it up (gotta love that clorox) and as I returned my cleaning supplies to their rightful place, had a cigarette outside.
Which is how I see her, wearing only her underwear and carrying everything else in a bundle in her arms, running out the back door in the summer moonlight. I met her again (she was a friend of a friend, at whose party I met her originally) at a bar. Apparently she was blacked out, didn't remember leaving the party with me, woke up naked in a strange bed, and her first instinct was to flee as fast as possible. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she peed in my trashcan, since she seemed pretty embarrassed by everything else.
Tl;DR: Blackout girl peed all over my floor and fled the scene. I didn't have the heart to tell her about it.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8iwaq | Went out to a party and met this hot blonde; we danced, drank, one thing leads to another and we're both stumbling back the few blocks to my place. We get to the bedroom and start at it, but in the middle of fucking, without saying a word, she gets up and walks over to my wastepaper basket (a metal mesh affair, tiny holes all up the sides) and proceeds to squat down and piss in it. Keep in mind, my living quarters are fully equipped with indoor plumbing, and as such a toilet is literally 15 ft. from where she is standing. Then, still silent, as urine leeks slowly out of my trashcan, she walks back to bed and passes out.
At this point, I really didn't know what else to do, so I just cleaned it up (gotta love that clorox) and as I returned my cleaning supplies to their rightful place, had a cigarette outside.
Which is how I see her, wearing only her underwear and carrying everything else in a bundle in her arms, running out the back door in the summer moonlight. I met her again (she was a friend of a friend, at whose party I met her originally) at a bar. Apparently she was blacked out, didn't remember leaving the party with me, woke up naked in a strange bed, and her first instinct was to flee as fast as possible. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she peed in my trashcan, since she seemed pretty embarrassed by everything else. | Blackout girl peed all over my floor and fled the scene. I didn't have the heart to tell her about it. |
solowife11 | Me and my husband (boyfriend at the time) are at my sister's apartment, my dad works night shift down the road from her house. The whole house is asleep and we want to have sex. Last time we had sex at my sisters, we were interupted. So we decide it would be smart to get in her minivan parked out front. We are in the middle of some pretty awesome sex when I hear my dad's jeep pull up right beside us. We immediately stop and hide for about 2 seconds. Then in a panic we try to put our clothes back on and planning our escape. (Were thinking just jump out and haul ass in the other direction) I somehow keep grabbing his jeans and trying to put them on. At least 3 times I did this. Finally we hear the car beep when the owner locked it with the remote. My dad doesn't have a remote. I almost started crying I was so happy. That was the best after sex cigarette I ever had.
TL; DR
Thought we got caught by my very overprotective father. Neighbor has same car.
| Me and my husband (boyfriend at the time) are at my sister's apartment, my dad works night shift down the road from her house. The whole house is asleep and we want to have sex. Last time we had sex at my sisters, we were interupted. So we decide it would be smart to get in her minivan parked out front. We are in the middle of some pretty awesome sex when I hear my dad's jeep pull up right beside us. We immediately stop and hide for about 2 seconds. Then in a panic we try to put our clothes back on and planning our escape. (Were thinking just jump out and haul ass in the other direction) I somehow keep grabbing his jeans and trying to put them on. At least 3 times I did this. Finally we hear the car beep when the owner locked it with the remote. My dad doesn't have a remote. I almost started crying I was so happy. That was the best after sex cigarette I ever had.
TL; DR
Thought we got caught by my very overprotective father. Neighbor has same car.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8lswc | Me and my husband (boyfriend at the time) are at my sister's apartment, my dad works night shift down the road from her house. The whole house is asleep and we want to have sex. Last time we had sex at my sisters, we were interupted. So we decide it would be smart to get in her minivan parked out front. We are in the middle of some pretty awesome sex when I hear my dad's jeep pull up right beside us. We immediately stop and hide for about 2 seconds. Then in a panic we try to put our clothes back on and planning our escape. (Were thinking just jump out and haul ass in the other direction) I somehow keep grabbing his jeans and trying to put them on. At least 3 times I did this. Finally we hear the car beep when the owner locked it with the remote. My dad doesn't have a remote. I almost started crying I was so happy. That was the best after sex cigarette I ever had. | Thought we got caught by my very overprotective father. Neighbor has same car. |
IveChangedMyMind | Buddy of mine in college told us a story about his trip to the Domican Republic. Him and a few friends got wasted on the beach and met a few girls near the bar. He, being wasted out of his mind, asks his friend if he thinks the girl he's talking to his hot. The friend looks at her, smiles, then says, "HELL YEAH! Go for it!" We find out from his friend that she was not. Big nose, acne, and real life black Marge Simpson hair.
They leave together, do the deed, fall asleep and he wakes up in the middle of the night having peed his side of the bed (he's notorious for drunk peeing his bed). Noticing she is in deep sleep, he takes the risk and gently rolls her onto his pee, changes his boxers and sleeps on her side. He didn't sleep a wink afterwards and a few hours later, she thinks she's peed the bed and embarrassingly sneaks out.
They see each other the next morning and his friend suggests they eat breakfast together and offer to take the same shuttle to the airport. Awkward.
TLDR; friend pees bed after sex and rolls her into it making her think she did it. | Buddy of mine in college told us a story about his trip to the Domican Republic. Him and a few friends got wasted on the beach and met a few girls near the bar. He, being wasted out of his mind, asks his friend if he thinks the girl he's talking to his hot. The friend looks at her, smiles, then says, "HELL YEAH! Go for it!" We find out from his friend that she was not. Big nose, acne, and real life black Marge Simpson hair.
They leave together, do the deed, fall asleep and he wakes up in the middle of the night having peed his side of the bed (he's notorious for drunk peeing his bed). Noticing she is in deep sleep, he takes the risk and gently rolls her onto his pee, changes his boxers and sleeps on her side. He didn't sleep a wink afterwards and a few hours later, she thinks she's peed the bed and embarrassingly sneaks out.
They see each other the next morning and his friend suggests they eat breakfast together and offer to take the same shuttle to the airport. Awkward.
TLDR; friend pees bed after sex and rolls her into it making her think she did it.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8lukl | Buddy of mine in college told us a story about his trip to the Domican Republic. Him and a few friends got wasted on the beach and met a few girls near the bar. He, being wasted out of his mind, asks his friend if he thinks the girl he's talking to his hot. The friend looks at her, smiles, then says, "HELL YEAH! Go for it!" We find out from his friend that she was not. Big nose, acne, and real life black Marge Simpson hair.
They leave together, do the deed, fall asleep and he wakes up in the middle of the night having peed his side of the bed (he's notorious for drunk peeing his bed). Noticing she is in deep sleep, he takes the risk and gently rolls her onto his pee, changes his boxers and sleeps on her side. He didn't sleep a wink afterwards and a few hours later, she thinks she's peed the bed and embarrassingly sneaks out.
They see each other the next morning and his friend suggests they eat breakfast together and offer to take the same shuttle to the airport. Awkward. | friend pees bed after sex and rolls her into it making her think she did it. |
ChrisLikesSoda | I just moved into my new apartment with a couple roommates. I ended up having to share a room with my friend. So, my girlfriend would normally come over the house and sleep over. So, one day.. she's in *the mood* and decides to start rubbing her butt on my penis. While she's doing this, I have my friend sleeping on his bed. So, we decided it was best to just take it to the bathroom. We had over to the bathroom, lock the door behind us, and then go at it. I loooove doggy style, so that's what we're doing. Going and going, when I'm finally about to climax, I give her one last thrust and pull out.. and in that same moment, she hits her head off the back of the toliet.
You don't know how awkward it was to be laughing and cumming your girlfriends back in a bathroom.
TL;DR: Smashed my girlfriend's head off a toliet; I never came and laughed so hard in my life. | I just moved into my new apartment with a couple roommates. I ended up having to share a room with my friend. So, my girlfriend would normally come over the house and sleep over. So, one day.. she's in the mood and decides to start rubbing her butt on my penis. While she's doing this, I have my friend sleeping on his bed. So, we decided it was best to just take it to the bathroom. We had over to the bathroom, lock the door behind us, and then go at it. I loooove doggy style, so that's what we're doing. Going and going, when I'm finally about to climax, I give her one last thrust and pull out.. and in that same moment, she hits her head off the back of the toliet.
You don't know how awkward it was to be laughing and cumming your girlfriends back in a bathroom.
TL;DR: Smashed my girlfriend's head off a toliet; I never came and laughed so hard in my life.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8p6f4 | I just moved into my new apartment with a couple roommates. I ended up having to share a room with my friend. So, my girlfriend would normally come over the house and sleep over. So, one day.. she's in the mood and decides to start rubbing her butt on my penis. While she's doing this, I have my friend sleeping on his bed. So, we decided it was best to just take it to the bathroom. We had over to the bathroom, lock the door behind us, and then go at it. I loooove doggy style, so that's what we're doing. Going and going, when I'm finally about to climax, I give her one last thrust and pull out.. and in that same moment, she hits her head off the back of the toliet.
You don't know how awkward it was to be laughing and cumming your girlfriends back in a bathroom. | Smashed my girlfriend's head off a toliet; I never came and laughed so hard in my life. |
2cute4you7 | My SO and I were having shower sex and he like to finish on my chest sometimes, so i let him do that in the shower. I was bent over and he was going at it from behind. Anyways, while he was getting to "that point" I decided it'd be a good idea to spin around on the balls of my feet and just have him go ahead and finish without skipping a beat....this did not work... I hit my leg on the edge of the tub, lost my balance and found myself sprawled on the shower floor. Meanwhile my boyfriend is finishing....all over me. Just everywhere. And it wasn't like he could really just like stop and make sure I'm okay (not to mention I was laughing so he didn't think I was hurt) because he is having an explosive orgasm...after we've recovered and I'm still laying on the ground I shout "AM I SEXY NOW?!?" You're damn right he said yes.
Tldr- clumsy shower sex turns into being showered in...sex. | My SO and I were having shower sex and he like to finish on my chest sometimes, so i let him do that in the shower. I was bent over and he was going at it from behind. Anyways, while he was getting to "that point" I decided it'd be a good idea to spin around on the balls of my feet and just have him go ahead and finish without skipping a beat....this did not work... I hit my leg on the edge of the tub, lost my balance and found myself sprawled on the shower floor. Meanwhile my boyfriend is finishing....all over me. Just everywhere. And it wasn't like he could really just like stop and make sure I'm okay (not to mention I was laughing so he didn't think I was hurt) because he is having an explosive orgasm...after we've recovered and I'm still laying on the ground I shout "AM I SEXY NOW?!?" You're damn right he said yes.
Tldr- clumsy shower sex turns into being showered in...sex.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8p8f9 | My SO and I were having shower sex and he like to finish on my chest sometimes, so i let him do that in the shower. I was bent over and he was going at it from behind. Anyways, while he was getting to "that point" I decided it'd be a good idea to spin around on the balls of my feet and just have him go ahead and finish without skipping a beat....this did not work... I hit my leg on the edge of the tub, lost my balance and found myself sprawled on the shower floor. Meanwhile my boyfriend is finishing....all over me. Just everywhere. And it wasn't like he could really just like stop and make sure I'm okay (not to mention I was laughing so he didn't think I was hurt) because he is having an explosive orgasm...after we've recovered and I'm still laying on the ground I shout "AM I SEXY NOW?!?" You're damn right he said yes. | clumsy shower sex turns into being showered in...sex. |
dr_jkl | I was dating this guy from work and we had some Comedy Central thing on for noise while I was going down on him... the punchline was delivered right as he came, and I snickered at the wrong moment. His cum *poured* out of my nose as I was trying not to laugh.
tl;dr - don't give head to comedy central... | I was dating this guy from work and we had some Comedy Central thing on for noise while I was going down on him... the punchline was delivered right as he came, and I snickered at the wrong moment. His cum poured out of my nose as I was trying not to laugh.
tl;dr - don't give head to comedy central...
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8pcqy | I was dating this guy from work and we had some Comedy Central thing on for noise while I was going down on him... the punchline was delivered right as he came, and I snickered at the wrong moment. His cum poured out of my nose as I was trying not to laugh. | don't give head to comedy central... |
lavieenvert | I peed when I orgasmed.
I found out during sexy times the other day when my SO and we heard a gushing noise. Turns out my body went R.Kelly on him. Worst part was my SO looked at me and said "I like that noise" in the sexiest voice ever before the discovery. Keep in mind we didn't realize until we smelled it and I tasted it accidentally. It was so embarrassing because there was no indication that I was about to release some gold. Good part is, we both finished!
TL:DR - My body went full R.Kelly. | I peed when I orgasmed.
I found out during sexy times the other day when my SO and we heard a gushing noise. Turns out my body went R.Kelly on him. Worst part was my SO looked at me and said "I like that noise" in the sexiest voice ever before the discovery. Keep in mind we didn't realize until we smelled it and I tasted it accidentally. It was so embarrassing because there was no indication that I was about to release some gold. Good part is, we both finished!
TL:DR - My body went full R.Kelly.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8u0y8 | I peed when I orgasmed.
I found out during sexy times the other day when my SO and we heard a gushing noise. Turns out my body went R.Kelly on him. Worst part was my SO looked at me and said "I like that noise" in the sexiest voice ever before the discovery. Keep in mind we didn't realize until we smelled it and I tasted it accidentally. It was so embarrassing because there was no indication that I was about to release some gold. Good part is, we both finished! | My body went full R.Kelly. |
DirtyPanda | At her apartment, in the middle of hot and passionate sexual deviancy, during the great Kama Sutra position of doggy style, her curious feline appeared on the bed, right behind us. Astounded, probably by the great rhythm and tempo of my awesome Latino man hips, the cat decided to investigate the beautiful sounds of smacking made by my elegant and graceful swaying sack hitting this lady's lovely body. Just then when we begin to speed up the pace, the fucking cat swatted my god damn balls, so in one fluid motion I turned my torso (but still gyrating back and forth into her) and smacked the shit out of the cat, making it fly off the bed and onto her dresser adjacent to her bed, knocking all her jewelry, perfumes, frames and make up onto the floor.
The girl had no idea what was going on, she just heard her cat shrieking and hitting the dresser like a bowling ball hitting a full on strike in a bowling alley, right after me screaming "WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUK!!!"
Happily the cat was de-clawed so no damaged was done to me and we were able to finished. Also, the cat wasn't hurt but, after that fateful event, it never came in the room while we were having sexy times.
**TL;DR** - A cat swatted my balls during the middle of doggy style, so I smacked the shit out of it making it fly onto a dresser knocking off all her belongings. | At her apartment, in the middle of hot and passionate sexual deviancy, during the great Kama Sutra position of doggy style, her curious feline appeared on the bed, right behind us. Astounded, probably by the great rhythm and tempo of my awesome Latino man hips, the cat decided to investigate the beautiful sounds of smacking made by my elegant and graceful swaying sack hitting this lady's lovely body. Just then when we begin to speed up the pace, the fucking cat swatted my god damn balls, so in one fluid motion I turned my torso (but still gyrating back and forth into her) and smacked the shit out of the cat, making it fly off the bed and onto her dresser adjacent to her bed, knocking all her jewelry, perfumes, frames and make up onto the floor.
The girl had no idea what was going on, she just heard her cat shrieking and hitting the dresser like a bowling ball hitting a full on strike in a bowling alley, right after me screaming "WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUK!!!"
Happily the cat was de-clawed so no damaged was done to me and we were able to finished. Also, the cat wasn't hurt but, after that fateful event, it never came in the room while we were having sexy times.
TL;DR - A cat swatted my balls during the middle of doggy style, so I smacked the shit out of it making it fly onto a dresser knocking off all her belongings.
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd8uko3 | At her apartment, in the middle of hot and passionate sexual deviancy, during the great Kama Sutra position of doggy style, her curious feline appeared on the bed, right behind us. Astounded, probably by the great rhythm and tempo of my awesome Latino man hips, the cat decided to investigate the beautiful sounds of smacking made by my elegant and graceful swaying sack hitting this lady's lovely body. Just then when we begin to speed up the pace, the fucking cat swatted my god damn balls, so in one fluid motion I turned my torso (but still gyrating back and forth into her) and smacked the shit out of the cat, making it fly off the bed and onto her dresser adjacent to her bed, knocking all her jewelry, perfumes, frames and make up onto the floor.
The girl had no idea what was going on, she just heard her cat shrieking and hitting the dresser like a bowling ball hitting a full on strike in a bowling alley, right after me screaming "WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUK!!!"
Happily the cat was de-clawed so no damaged was done to me and we were able to finished. Also, the cat wasn't hurt but, after that fateful event, it never came in the room while we were having sexy times. | A cat swatted my balls during the middle of doggy style, so I smacked the shit out of it making it fly onto a dresser knocking off all her belongings. |
CalamityJane1852 | When I worked in an apartment leasing office, we were not allowed to discuss demographics with prospective tenants. It was a "luxury" apartment/condo development in one of the most expensive zip codes in the state. One of the questions I would get was "are there lots of little kids?" My response was always, "We have a nice play area with a slide and there's a beautiful walking path through the city park." If they pushed it, I would tell them that we didn't discriminate against families and if they persisted, I would straight up tell them that it was against policy and against the law to answer. (We would get "shoppers" from the state once in a while to make sure we were compliant with anti-discrimination laws.)
**tl;dr** The landlord isn't supposed to "warn" anyone about you due to privacy laws. | When I worked in an apartment leasing office, we were not allowed to discuss demographics with prospective tenants. It was a "luxury" apartment/condo development in one of the most expensive zip codes in the state. One of the questions I would get was "are there lots of little kids?" My response was always, "We have a nice play area with a slide and there's a beautiful walking path through the city park." If they pushed it, I would tell them that we didn't discriminate against families and if they persisted, I would straight up tell them that it was against policy and against the law to answer. (We would get "shoppers" from the state once in a while to make sure we were compliant with anti-discrimination laws.)
tl;dr The landlord isn't supposed to "warn" anyone about you due to privacy laws.
| beyondthebump | t5_2u06v | cd8qfea | When I worked in an apartment leasing office, we were not allowed to discuss demographics with prospective tenants. It was a "luxury" apartment/condo development in one of the most expensive zip codes in the state. One of the questions I would get was "are there lots of little kids?" My response was always, "We have a nice play area with a slide and there's a beautiful walking path through the city park." If they pushed it, I would tell them that we didn't discriminate against families and if they persisted, I would straight up tell them that it was against policy and against the law to answer. (We would get "shoppers" from the state once in a while to make sure we were compliant with anti-discrimination laws.) | The landlord isn't supposed to "warn" anyone about you due to privacy laws. |
mrs_wahnee | This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but over the weekend I watched the Europa Report for the first time as well, and loved it.
The first thing that I thought of while I watched it was that it reminded me of the feel of a short story that I had read awhile back in a science fiction anthology called "The World Treasury of Science Fiction" (e. david hartwell).
There were so many stories in there that were amazing, by some well known authors like Asimov and Bradbury and also some unknowns.
Many of the stories are about searching/finding life in space, but pretty much every major plot theme of science fiction is in there somewhere. My personal favorite was "The Gold at the Starbow's End" by Frederik Pohl. It's about a team of astronauts who are lied to about what their mission really is, but by the time they've figured out the truth, they gain the upper hand and use it in a totally terrifying way.
tldr; "The World Treasury of Science Fiction" (e. david hartwell) is a great read. It's like four bucks on Amazon.
| This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but over the weekend I watched the Europa Report for the first time as well, and loved it.
The first thing that I thought of while I watched it was that it reminded me of the feel of a short story that I had read awhile back in a science fiction anthology called "The World Treasury of Science Fiction" (e. david hartwell).
There were so many stories in there that were amazing, by some well known authors like Asimov and Bradbury and also some unknowns.
Many of the stories are about searching/finding life in space, but pretty much every major plot theme of science fiction is in there somewhere. My personal favorite was "The Gold at the Starbow's End" by Frederik Pohl. It's about a team of astronauts who are lied to about what their mission really is, but by the time they've figured out the truth, they gain the upper hand and use it in a totally terrifying way.
tldr; "The World Treasury of Science Fiction" (e. david hartwell) is a great read. It's like four bucks on Amazon.
| booksuggestions | t5_2ryqe | cd89d17 | This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but over the weekend I watched the Europa Report for the first time as well, and loved it.
The first thing that I thought of while I watched it was that it reminded me of the feel of a short story that I had read awhile back in a science fiction anthology called "The World Treasury of Science Fiction" (e. david hartwell).
There were so many stories in there that were amazing, by some well known authors like Asimov and Bradbury and also some unknowns.
Many of the stories are about searching/finding life in space, but pretty much every major plot theme of science fiction is in there somewhere. My personal favorite was "The Gold at the Starbow's End" by Frederik Pohl. It's about a team of astronauts who are lied to about what their mission really is, but by the time they've figured out the truth, they gain the upper hand and use it in a totally terrifying way. | The World Treasury of Science Fiction" (e. david hartwell) is a great read. It's like four bucks on Amazon. |
freak47 | So I was at my house drinking with some friends, and this woman of ill repute was drunkenly giving me a lap dance. At one point, she flings her hair back, and as her head reaches it's apex, she briefly loses consciousness (presumably from the force of her tiny drunk brain impacting the back of her skull). She falls back, landing directly on top of my lit hookah. As I hop up to save my hookah, she rolls over and starts giggling like an idiot. I rescue my hookah, and turn to see that her head had turned into a smoke grenade, a la COD. The coal had entangled itself in her hair and was burning her product-heavy coif like the worlds worst incense. By the time she had realized what happened and gotten the coal out of her hair she lost a good sized chunk. She angrily got up to yell at us for not helping to find we were all too incapacitated by laughter to care. I remind her of this every time I see her.
**TL:DR - Dumb drunk bitch lights her hair on fire in my house, hilarity ensues** | So I was at my house drinking with some friends, and this woman of ill repute was drunkenly giving me a lap dance. At one point, she flings her hair back, and as her head reaches it's apex, she briefly loses consciousness (presumably from the force of her tiny drunk brain impacting the back of her skull). She falls back, landing directly on top of my lit hookah. As I hop up to save my hookah, she rolls over and starts giggling like an idiot. I rescue my hookah, and turn to see that her head had turned into a smoke grenade, a la COD. The coal had entangled itself in her hair and was burning her product-heavy coif like the worlds worst incense. By the time she had realized what happened and gotten the coal out of her hair she lost a good sized chunk. She angrily got up to yell at us for not helping to find we were all too incapacitated by laughter to care. I remind her of this every time I see her.
TL:DR - Dumb drunk bitch lights her hair on fire in my house, hilarity ensues
| AskReddit | t5_2qh1i | cd89fo3 | So I was at my house drinking with some friends, and this woman of ill repute was drunkenly giving me a lap dance. At one point, she flings her hair back, and as her head reaches it's apex, she briefly loses consciousness (presumably from the force of her tiny drunk brain impacting the back of her skull). She falls back, landing directly on top of my lit hookah. As I hop up to save my hookah, she rolls over and starts giggling like an idiot. I rescue my hookah, and turn to see that her head had turned into a smoke grenade, a la COD. The coal had entangled itself in her hair and was burning her product-heavy coif like the worlds worst incense. By the time she had realized what happened and gotten the coal out of her hair she lost a good sized chunk. She angrily got up to yell at us for not helping to find we were all too incapacitated by laughter to care. I remind her of this every time I see her. | Dumb drunk bitch lights her hair on fire in my house, hilarity ensues |
yakushi12345 | I think one obvious distinction to make here is the difference between what I'll call+++ direct and indirect evidence
There is no meaningful direct evidence of any particular life existing on a planet beyond earth. No observations/measurements have ever been measuring a metric of 'is there life' and gotten a response that we should take into consideration. There is no telescope that has seen an animal on mars and such.
However, the indirect evidence of statistics makes it absurd to not conclude that there is almost certainly life on other planets. As other posts have pointed out, there are billions of billions of planets that exist that are similar to earth in basic ways (temperate primarily) in the universe; and there is no reason to put the likelihood of any of them having life as very low.
None of the suitable planets having life would as far as we can estimate be an extremely unlikely outcome.
Analogously, suppose I say a coin isn't a fair coin. A way of getting direct evidence of that is to find the center of mass of the coin and whether that lines up with it being fair. Or to perform any number of tests to analyze the composition of the coin. That would be direct evidence of a coin being weighted. However, we could also test the coin by flipping it a few thousand times, and we have good mathematical reason to derive opinions about the coin from tests involving flipping it.
TL;DR--We haven't seen life, but mathematical attempts to guess put the probability of no life as extremely extremely low. Further, indirect evidence like mathematical analysis is a valid way to form opinions.
+++and that's just because I'm not sure if these are the official terms and I don't feel like research epistemic terminology | I think one obvious distinction to make here is the difference between what I'll call+++ direct and indirect evidence
There is no meaningful direct evidence of any particular life existing on a planet beyond earth. No observations/measurements have ever been measuring a metric of 'is there life' and gotten a response that we should take into consideration. There is no telescope that has seen an animal on mars and such.
However, the indirect evidence of statistics makes it absurd to not conclude that there is almost certainly life on other planets. As other posts have pointed out, there are billions of billions of planets that exist that are similar to earth in basic ways (temperate primarily) in the universe; and there is no reason to put the likelihood of any of them having life as very low.
None of the suitable planets having life would as far as we can estimate be an extremely unlikely outcome.
Analogously, suppose I say a coin isn't a fair coin. A way of getting direct evidence of that is to find the center of mass of the coin and whether that lines up with it being fair. Or to perform any number of tests to analyze the composition of the coin. That would be direct evidence of a coin being weighted. However, we could also test the coin by flipping it a few thousand times, and we have good mathematical reason to derive opinions about the coin from tests involving flipping it.
TL;DR--We haven't seen life, but mathematical attempts to guess put the probability of no life as extremely extremely low. Further, indirect evidence like mathematical analysis is a valid way to form opinions.
+++and that's just because I'm not sure if these are the official terms and I don't feel like research epistemic terminology
| DebateReligion | t5_2snuc | cd8h1y7 | I think one obvious distinction to make here is the difference between what I'll call+++ direct and indirect evidence
There is no meaningful direct evidence of any particular life existing on a planet beyond earth. No observations/measurements have ever been measuring a metric of 'is there life' and gotten a response that we should take into consideration. There is no telescope that has seen an animal on mars and such.
However, the indirect evidence of statistics makes it absurd to not conclude that there is almost certainly life on other planets. As other posts have pointed out, there are billions of billions of planets that exist that are similar to earth in basic ways (temperate primarily) in the universe; and there is no reason to put the likelihood of any of them having life as very low.
None of the suitable planets having life would as far as we can estimate be an extremely unlikely outcome.
Analogously, suppose I say a coin isn't a fair coin. A way of getting direct evidence of that is to find the center of mass of the coin and whether that lines up with it being fair. Or to perform any number of tests to analyze the composition of the coin. That would be direct evidence of a coin being weighted. However, we could also test the coin by flipping it a few thousand times, and we have good mathematical reason to derive opinions about the coin from tests involving flipping it. | We haven't seen life, but mathematical attempts to guess put the probability of no life as extremely extremely low. Further, indirect evidence like mathematical analysis is a valid way to form opinions.
+++and that's just because I'm not sure if these are the official terms and I don't feel like research epistemic terminology |
Sniktsnakt | Ill preface this by saying its my own personal opinion. Others will have their own, there is no one way to approach an instrument.
I personally think if you are serious about learning guitar, then timing is pretty much the single most important factor. I cant tell you how many guitarists Ive met that can shred up and down the neck way better than me, but simply cant hold a groove to save their life.
%99 of guitar playing is groove, the %1 is the solo twiddly bits.
Now if you are learning guitar with 100ms latency, your timing is going to be off and people will probably rely more on the visual cues of RS than listening to the notes and playing.
It also depends how sensitive you are to timing. Anything above 5 makes me unhappy, but Ive played with much better musicians than me who are happy with 20ms.
A good test is 'Go with the Flow'. Theres pretty much no way of playing that song in time with RS latency. The game registers when you played the notes correctly, but you hear them late and it can really affect your groove.
TL:DR: Use RS to learn guitar, but split your signal to improve timing and how to work an amp. | Ill preface this by saying its my own personal opinion. Others will have their own, there is no one way to approach an instrument.
I personally think if you are serious about learning guitar, then timing is pretty much the single most important factor. I cant tell you how many guitarists Ive met that can shred up and down the neck way better than me, but simply cant hold a groove to save their life.
%99 of guitar playing is groove, the %1 is the solo twiddly bits.
Now if you are learning guitar with 100ms latency, your timing is going to be off and people will probably rely more on the visual cues of RS than listening to the notes and playing.
It also depends how sensitive you are to timing. Anything above 5 makes me unhappy, but Ive played with much better musicians than me who are happy with 20ms.
A good test is 'Go with the Flow'. Theres pretty much no way of playing that song in time with RS latency. The game registers when you played the notes correctly, but you hear them late and it can really affect your groove.
TL:DR: Use RS to learn guitar, but split your signal to improve timing and how to work an amp.
| rocksmith | t5_2skou | cd8mos3 | Ill preface this by saying its my own personal opinion. Others will have their own, there is no one way to approach an instrument.
I personally think if you are serious about learning guitar, then timing is pretty much the single most important factor. I cant tell you how many guitarists Ive met that can shred up and down the neck way better than me, but simply cant hold a groove to save their life.
%99 of guitar playing is groove, the %1 is the solo twiddly bits.
Now if you are learning guitar with 100ms latency, your timing is going to be off and people will probably rely more on the visual cues of RS than listening to the notes and playing.
It also depends how sensitive you are to timing. Anything above 5 makes me unhappy, but Ive played with much better musicians than me who are happy with 20ms.
A good test is 'Go with the Flow'. Theres pretty much no way of playing that song in time with RS latency. The game registers when you played the notes correctly, but you hear them late and it can really affect your groove. | Use RS to learn guitar, but split your signal to improve timing and how to work an amp. |
rincode | you got balls man.. im always too paranoid to actually go thru with shit on cl..
tl;dr no balls | you got balls man.. im always too paranoid to actually go thru with shit on cl..
tl;dr no balls
| cocaine | t5_2qu9w | cd8nmfd | you got balls man.. im always too paranoid to actually go thru with shit on cl.. | no balls |
nonplussedhobo | More often than not, squatting is a socio-economic and political problem rather than a legal one. Much of the population of squatters are part of the informal sector of the economy especially in the large metropolitan and urban areas of the country (household helpers, jeepney and tricycle drivers, market vendors, laborers and construction workers etc.). A case in point would be the large subdivisions - take a look a google maps of the large cities, and you'll often see squatters attached to or within the vicinity of these upscale areas.
Cities have been historically perceived as the centers of prosperity, or at least potentially by those living in the countryside which has been largely left underdeveloped. If you read up on Philippine history you'll see that development and economic activity was concentrated in the port areas or trading hubs, the largest being Manila during the period of the galleon trade and the during the American colonization.
Much of the Philippine national and political history circled around the elites rather than from the ground - both the Spaniards and the Americans used the elites of pre-Filipino and Filipino society has mediators of their power. So what you have are laws which are created that revolve around the interest of this socio-economic elite. Much of national development have also revolved around their interests.
Taking this into the more immediate experience of squatters - they are the living outcome of this skewed development. You have the first generations of workers coming in from the countryside looking for work in the city, but as the standard of living is high compared to the province and that they are forced to live informally at the margins of society. It becomes a vicious cycle, because labor from the countryside is a massive source of cheap labor which is easily exploitable (going back to my point of cities as centers of development). Much of the cities and their infrastructure have developed from this source of capital.
So what we have now is this human mess who are perceived as a bane to much of residents of the cities. At the very beginning many Filipinos were never given the chance to put forward their interests in development because of the socio-economic and political elites' hold which have are intimately linked to the colonial history of the country. So in the end the laws and institutions of the countries tend to operate under the bias of elite interest.
There is much more nuance to this history than what I can put here, and I may be wrong in some cases but what I wrote is based on my understanding of Philippine social, political and economic development.
TL;DR: Squatters a living reminder of the skewed development of the country.
| More often than not, squatting is a socio-economic and political problem rather than a legal one. Much of the population of squatters are part of the informal sector of the economy especially in the large metropolitan and urban areas of the country (household helpers, jeepney and tricycle drivers, market vendors, laborers and construction workers etc.). A case in point would be the large subdivisions - take a look a google maps of the large cities, and you'll often see squatters attached to or within the vicinity of these upscale areas.
Cities have been historically perceived as the centers of prosperity, or at least potentially by those living in the countryside which has been largely left underdeveloped. If you read up on Philippine history you'll see that development and economic activity was concentrated in the port areas or trading hubs, the largest being Manila during the period of the galleon trade and the during the American colonization.
Much of the Philippine national and political history circled around the elites rather than from the ground - both the Spaniards and the Americans used the elites of pre-Filipino and Filipino society has mediators of their power. So what you have are laws which are created that revolve around the interest of this socio-economic elite. Much of national development have also revolved around their interests.
Taking this into the more immediate experience of squatters - they are the living outcome of this skewed development. You have the first generations of workers coming in from the countryside looking for work in the city, but as the standard of living is high compared to the province and that they are forced to live informally at the margins of society. It becomes a vicious cycle, because labor from the countryside is a massive source of cheap labor which is easily exploitable (going back to my point of cities as centers of development). Much of the cities and their infrastructure have developed from this source of capital.
So what we have now is this human mess who are perceived as a bane to much of residents of the cities. At the very beginning many Filipinos were never given the chance to put forward their interests in development because of the socio-economic and political elites' hold which have are intimately linked to the colonial history of the country. So in the end the laws and institutions of the countries tend to operate under the bias of elite interest.
There is much more nuance to this history than what I can put here, and I may be wrong in some cases but what I wrote is based on my understanding of Philippine social, political and economic development.
TL;DR: Squatters a living reminder of the skewed development of the country.
| Philippines | t5_2qjov | cd8y56d | More often than not, squatting is a socio-economic and political problem rather than a legal one. Much of the population of squatters are part of the informal sector of the economy especially in the large metropolitan and urban areas of the country (household helpers, jeepney and tricycle drivers, market vendors, laborers and construction workers etc.). A case in point would be the large subdivisions - take a look a google maps of the large cities, and you'll often see squatters attached to or within the vicinity of these upscale areas.
Cities have been historically perceived as the centers of prosperity, or at least potentially by those living in the countryside which has been largely left underdeveloped. If you read up on Philippine history you'll see that development and economic activity was concentrated in the port areas or trading hubs, the largest being Manila during the period of the galleon trade and the during the American colonization.
Much of the Philippine national and political history circled around the elites rather than from the ground - both the Spaniards and the Americans used the elites of pre-Filipino and Filipino society has mediators of their power. So what you have are laws which are created that revolve around the interest of this socio-economic elite. Much of national development have also revolved around their interests.
Taking this into the more immediate experience of squatters - they are the living outcome of this skewed development. You have the first generations of workers coming in from the countryside looking for work in the city, but as the standard of living is high compared to the province and that they are forced to live informally at the margins of society. It becomes a vicious cycle, because labor from the countryside is a massive source of cheap labor which is easily exploitable (going back to my point of cities as centers of development). Much of the cities and their infrastructure have developed from this source of capital.
So what we have now is this human mess who are perceived as a bane to much of residents of the cities. At the very beginning many Filipinos were never given the chance to put forward their interests in development because of the socio-economic and political elites' hold which have are intimately linked to the colonial history of the country. So in the end the laws and institutions of the countries tend to operate under the bias of elite interest.
There is much more nuance to this history than what I can put here, and I may be wrong in some cases but what I wrote is based on my understanding of Philippine social, political and economic development. | Squatters a living reminder of the skewed development of the country. |
RevProtocol | Ah, well, I'm sorry to hear that. That's like the one thing that totally makes that exercise I made up totally not work. I dunno, though, maybe it could still help. I'm obviously not a professional so I can't help with something like BDD. I'm sure anything I could say about it, you've probably already heard a hundred time before from everyone else.
All I can really suggest is that you try it out, and just attempt to keep the idea in mind that you're not looking in the mirror to gauge your appearance. You're looking in the mirror to see what happiness looks like on your own face. Blemishes and flaws be damned! Even if you were horribly disfigured, would that change the definition of a smile? The real key to that exercise is to visually confirm the physical evidence of happiness. "When I am happy, I look like *this!*" Even with a two-by-four sticking out of the middle of your face, being happy would still look the same, and that's what you need to see.
I mean, when I'm depressed, it's like I get less attractive. I look at myself in the mirror when I'm sad and I feel fucking ugly! It sucks. The happier I am, the more attractive I feel. I don't know if it's like that for anyone else, but I hope it is! Because then by making ourselves happy we could totally improve how attractive we perceive ourselves to be!
tl;dr: Flaws aren't the point, should they exist. Find out what you look like when you're happy and BURN THAT IMAGE INTO YOUR HEAD NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! | Ah, well, I'm sorry to hear that. That's like the one thing that totally makes that exercise I made up totally not work. I dunno, though, maybe it could still help. I'm obviously not a professional so I can't help with something like BDD. I'm sure anything I could say about it, you've probably already heard a hundred time before from everyone else.
All I can really suggest is that you try it out, and just attempt to keep the idea in mind that you're not looking in the mirror to gauge your appearance. You're looking in the mirror to see what happiness looks like on your own face. Blemishes and flaws be damned! Even if you were horribly disfigured, would that change the definition of a smile? The real key to that exercise is to visually confirm the physical evidence of happiness. "When I am happy, I look like this! " Even with a two-by-four sticking out of the middle of your face, being happy would still look the same, and that's what you need to see.
I mean, when I'm depressed, it's like I get less attractive. I look at myself in the mirror when I'm sad and I feel fucking ugly! It sucks. The happier I am, the more attractive I feel. I don't know if it's like that for anyone else, but I hope it is! Because then by making ourselves happy we could totally improve how attractive we perceive ourselves to be!
tl;dr: Flaws aren't the point, should they exist. Find out what you look like when you're happy and BURN THAT IMAGE INTO YOUR HEAD NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!
| introvert | t5_2qlr2 | cd8qck2 | Ah, well, I'm sorry to hear that. That's like the one thing that totally makes that exercise I made up totally not work. I dunno, though, maybe it could still help. I'm obviously not a professional so I can't help with something like BDD. I'm sure anything I could say about it, you've probably already heard a hundred time before from everyone else.
All I can really suggest is that you try it out, and just attempt to keep the idea in mind that you're not looking in the mirror to gauge your appearance. You're looking in the mirror to see what happiness looks like on your own face. Blemishes and flaws be damned! Even if you were horribly disfigured, would that change the definition of a smile? The real key to that exercise is to visually confirm the physical evidence of happiness. "When I am happy, I look like this! " Even with a two-by-four sticking out of the middle of your face, being happy would still look the same, and that's what you need to see.
I mean, when I'm depressed, it's like I get less attractive. I look at myself in the mirror when I'm sad and I feel fucking ugly! It sucks. The happier I am, the more attractive I feel. I don't know if it's like that for anyone else, but I hope it is! Because then by making ourselves happy we could totally improve how attractive we perceive ourselves to be! | Flaws aren't the point, should they exist. Find out what you look like when you're happy and BURN THAT IMAGE INTO YOUR HEAD NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! |
poopsocker | The particulars of what you'll get with a CS minor will vary greatly based on what school you attend. But introductory CS classes will probably cover basic programming (Java, C++, Python), and having some programming expertise is never a bad idea in today's tech-heavy world, regardless of your major. One of the strengths of a CS *major* is that it teaches you the concepts that underlie programming and the fundamental operations computers perform. I'm not sure how much of that you're going to get with a CS minor. Not learning those lessons may make it more difficult to pick up new programming languages when you get out of school, but that may not be that big a deal if you're not in a career that doesn't ask more of you than basic programming (if even that).
As far as a minor being enough to know the subject, absolutely not. CS is a massive area. The minor is going to get you some basic programming classes and will introduce you to the idea of object-oriented programming, which will be handy. But you're not going to get much, if any, of the theoretical underpinnings. I wonder how much math you'd even get.
It's unlikely you're going to get much exposure to web development in a CS minor (again, depending on your program). Like I said before, your classes will probably start you with a language like C++ or Java, not with HTML. Your best best for learning web development is either to take a dedicated web-development class, or -- perhaps even better -- buy a good book (I really like the [Missing Manual]( series) and start building your own website.
I don't have much to offer about how best to combine a marketing major with a CS minor. But in terms of other tips, the best thing you can do if you're interested in learning programming is to *program*. There's no better learning tool than doing. Supplement your coursework with your own hands-on learning. Do more than just your homework. Programming can be unbelievably frustrating, but it can also be incredibly rewarding; few things feel better than finding a bug after hours of searching. You'll also get to experience what it feels like to build something with "your own two hands." It's golden.
tl;dr: 1. Yes. 2. No. 3. Build a website. 4. Not sure. 5. Write mo' code.
| The particulars of what you'll get with a CS minor will vary greatly based on what school you attend. But introductory CS classes will probably cover basic programming (Java, C++, Python), and having some programming expertise is never a bad idea in today's tech-heavy world, regardless of your major. One of the strengths of a CS major is that it teaches you the concepts that underlie programming and the fundamental operations computers perform. I'm not sure how much of that you're going to get with a CS minor. Not learning those lessons may make it more difficult to pick up new programming languages when you get out of school, but that may not be that big a deal if you're not in a career that doesn't ask more of you than basic programming (if even that).
As far as a minor being enough to know the subject, absolutely not. CS is a massive area. The minor is going to get you some basic programming classes and will introduce you to the idea of object-oriented programming, which will be handy. But you're not going to get much, if any, of the theoretical underpinnings. I wonder how much math you'd even get.
It's unlikely you're going to get much exposure to web development in a CS minor (again, depending on your program). Like I said before, your classes will probably start you with a language like C++ or Java, not with HTML. Your best best for learning web development is either to take a dedicated web-development class, or -- perhaps even better -- buy a good book (I really like the Missing Manual and start building your own website.
I don't have much to offer about how best to combine a marketing major with a CS minor. But in terms of other tips, the best thing you can do if you're interested in learning programming is to program . There's no better learning tool than doing. Supplement your coursework with your own hands-on learning. Do more than just your homework. Programming can be unbelievably frustrating, but it can also be incredibly rewarding; few things feel better than finding a bug after hours of searching. You'll also get to experience what it feels like to build something with "your own two hands." It's golden.
tl;dr: 1. Yes. 2. No. 3. Build a website. 4. Not sure. 5. Write mo' code.
| compsci | t5_2qhmr | cd8uexd | The particulars of what you'll get with a CS minor will vary greatly based on what school you attend. But introductory CS classes will probably cover basic programming (Java, C++, Python), and having some programming expertise is never a bad idea in today's tech-heavy world, regardless of your major. One of the strengths of a CS major is that it teaches you the concepts that underlie programming and the fundamental operations computers perform. I'm not sure how much of that you're going to get with a CS minor. Not learning those lessons may make it more difficult to pick up new programming languages when you get out of school, but that may not be that big a deal if you're not in a career that doesn't ask more of you than basic programming (if even that).
As far as a minor being enough to know the subject, absolutely not. CS is a massive area. The minor is going to get you some basic programming classes and will introduce you to the idea of object-oriented programming, which will be handy. But you're not going to get much, if any, of the theoretical underpinnings. I wonder how much math you'd even get.
It's unlikely you're going to get much exposure to web development in a CS minor (again, depending on your program). Like I said before, your classes will probably start you with a language like C++ or Java, not with HTML. Your best best for learning web development is either to take a dedicated web-development class, or -- perhaps even better -- buy a good book (I really like the Missing Manual and start building your own website.
I don't have much to offer about how best to combine a marketing major with a CS minor. But in terms of other tips, the best thing you can do if you're interested in learning programming is to program . There's no better learning tool than doing. Supplement your coursework with your own hands-on learning. Do more than just your homework. Programming can be unbelievably frustrating, but it can also be incredibly rewarding; few things feel better than finding a bug after hours of searching. You'll also get to experience what it feels like to build something with "your own two hands." It's golden. | 1. Yes. 2. No. 3. Build a website. 4. Not sure. 5. Write mo' code. |
binaryecho | If you think it is that bad, then you have unrealistic expectations and will NEVER have a good time in GTA:Online.
TL;DR - Your expectations are wrong. | If you think it is that bad, then you have unrealistic expectations and will NEVER have a good time in GTA:Online.
TL;DR - Your expectations are wrong.
| GTAV | t5_2rjys | cd96t1x | If you think it is that bad, then you have unrealistic expectations and will NEVER have a good time in GTA:Online. | Your expectations are wrong. |
cladestine | Having worked on both Hollywood and Bollywood vfx, here is my take on it.
Vfx is a collaborative effort. It needs lot of planning and preparation at all levels, from artists working on the box to the director and producer. I have seen deeper involvement from Hollywood directors about the vfx part of their movie compared to Bollywood. For most directors here VFX and Computer graphics (CG) is a black box. Some vague directions are given (or a youtube link to specific shots from a Hollywood blockbuster) and it is for the vfx team to figure out the rest.
Passion from the vfx artists does make the effects look good, but it is more of an individual effort. Quality is uneven across teams. The directors are mostly 'I will know it when I see it' types who are not very educated about the creative process and are not really able to visualize the final scenes based on animatics and previz. A lot of effort ends up being wasted getting to final scenes before the director gets a grip of the visuals.
Krrish 3 was better in terms of time given for the team to work and the quality of plates shots. Part of it was because of hollywood VFX supervisors and executive producers hired early in the project who have unfortunately not been credited. It was more fun working on this movie than any Hollywood project.
The story unfortunately has to cater to the least common denominator and has to be over simplified, over the top and cliched. Also the songs.. yes the songs have to be there. Not having any of these elements will make the investors in this movie jittery.
Product placements ensure that much of the money is recovered even before the movie is released.
Technically the vfx team uses the best of the tools available, on par with any international studio. (Nuke/Houdini/Maya/Mocha etc.) and is very capable of delivering Hollywood quality visuals if they are directed correctly.
Many a times, the first version of a shot done by a vfx artist has a Hollywood feel, but it then undergoes a 'desi'fication process in the subsequent versions. Subtlety is out, everything needs to be in your face lest a critical story plot is missed. Logic takes a back seat over drama...and the usual things we love to bitch about Bollywood films.
But in the end the masala works, the audience loves those movies, it makes money for the producers, we get paid and we are left wondering whether we, the guys with the supposedly 'higher' taste in movies are the ones who do not have the grip on the Indian audiences.
TLDR; Its crazy, its chaotic..but it works. | Having worked on both Hollywood and Bollywood vfx, here is my take on it.
Vfx is a collaborative effort. It needs lot of planning and preparation at all levels, from artists working on the box to the director and producer. I have seen deeper involvement from Hollywood directors about the vfx part of their movie compared to Bollywood. For most directors here VFX and Computer graphics (CG) is a black box. Some vague directions are given (or a youtube link to specific shots from a Hollywood blockbuster) and it is for the vfx team to figure out the rest.
Passion from the vfx artists does make the effects look good, but it is more of an individual effort. Quality is uneven across teams. The directors are mostly 'I will know it when I see it' types who are not very educated about the creative process and are not really able to visualize the final scenes based on animatics and previz. A lot of effort ends up being wasted getting to final scenes before the director gets a grip of the visuals.
Krrish 3 was better in terms of time given for the team to work and the quality of plates shots. Part of it was because of hollywood VFX supervisors and executive producers hired early in the project who have unfortunately not been credited. It was more fun working on this movie than any Hollywood project.
The story unfortunately has to cater to the least common denominator and has to be over simplified, over the top and cliched. Also the songs.. yes the songs have to be there. Not having any of these elements will make the investors in this movie jittery.
Product placements ensure that much of the money is recovered even before the movie is released.
Technically the vfx team uses the best of the tools available, on par with any international studio. (Nuke/Houdini/Maya/Mocha etc.) and is very capable of delivering Hollywood quality visuals if they are directed correctly.
Many a times, the first version of a shot done by a vfx artist has a Hollywood feel, but it then undergoes a 'desi'fication process in the subsequent versions. Subtlety is out, everything needs to be in your face lest a critical story plot is missed. Logic takes a back seat over drama...and the usual things we love to bitch about Bollywood films.
But in the end the masala works, the audience loves those movies, it makes money for the producers, we get paid and we are left wondering whether we, the guys with the supposedly 'higher' taste in movies are the ones who do not have the grip on the Indian audiences.
TLDR; Its crazy, its chaotic..but it works.
| movies | t5_2qh3s | cd9kvgs | Having worked on both Hollywood and Bollywood vfx, here is my take on it.
Vfx is a collaborative effort. It needs lot of planning and preparation at all levels, from artists working on the box to the director and producer. I have seen deeper involvement from Hollywood directors about the vfx part of their movie compared to Bollywood. For most directors here VFX and Computer graphics (CG) is a black box. Some vague directions are given (or a youtube link to specific shots from a Hollywood blockbuster) and it is for the vfx team to figure out the rest.
Passion from the vfx artists does make the effects look good, but it is more of an individual effort. Quality is uneven across teams. The directors are mostly 'I will know it when I see it' types who are not very educated about the creative process and are not really able to visualize the final scenes based on animatics and previz. A lot of effort ends up being wasted getting to final scenes before the director gets a grip of the visuals.
Krrish 3 was better in terms of time given for the team to work and the quality of plates shots. Part of it was because of hollywood VFX supervisors and executive producers hired early in the project who have unfortunately not been credited. It was more fun working on this movie than any Hollywood project.
The story unfortunately has to cater to the least common denominator and has to be over simplified, over the top and cliched. Also the songs.. yes the songs have to be there. Not having any of these elements will make the investors in this movie jittery.
Product placements ensure that much of the money is recovered even before the movie is released.
Technically the vfx team uses the best of the tools available, on par with any international studio. (Nuke/Houdini/Maya/Mocha etc.) and is very capable of delivering Hollywood quality visuals if they are directed correctly.
Many a times, the first version of a shot done by a vfx artist has a Hollywood feel, but it then undergoes a 'desi'fication process in the subsequent versions. Subtlety is out, everything needs to be in your face lest a critical story plot is missed. Logic takes a back seat over drama...and the usual things we love to bitch about Bollywood films.
But in the end the masala works, the audience loves those movies, it makes money for the producers, we get paid and we are left wondering whether we, the guys with the supposedly 'higher' taste in movies are the ones who do not have the grip on the Indian audiences. | Its crazy, its chaotic..but it works. |
ZeroLovesDnB | Duuuuuuude. Thanks for this! The LA OKCers are cool people. All the girls were pretty too!
Looking forward to the next one! Apologies for leaving early, I had birthday thing to attend in Orange County.
Tl;dr 8/10 would attend again. | Duuuuuuude. Thanks for this! The LA OKCers are cool people. All the girls were pretty too!
Looking forward to the next one! Apologies for leaving early, I had birthday thing to attend in Orange County.
Tl;dr 8/10 would attend again.
| OkCupid | t5_2rct2 | cdwicrq | Duuuuuuude. Thanks for this! The LA OKCers are cool people. All the girls were pretty too!
Looking forward to the next one! Apologies for leaving early, I had birthday thing to attend in Orange County. | 8/10 would attend again. |
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