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why do fat people need a diet?
beacause there tummies might blow
what is the first thing you do each morning?
wake up
what has 4 noses, 3 mouths, 1 eye and 7 legs?
someone whos very ugly
you are eating. you are washing the plates. you are giving salary. you are driving. you are catching the ball.
your hand
talks like this, a green wise man does guess my clue, you will
yoda
in what year did christmas and new year's come in the same year?
every year
what does the " p " stand for in " jumbo body "?
percent
no matter how hardyouhit me i will never hurt no matter how muchyoushoot me i will never cry. what am i?
funnybone
some say we are red, some say we are green. some play us, some spray us. what are we?
pepper
a man is in his car. he sees three doors; a golden one, a diamond one and a silver one. which door does he go through first?
his car door
how can you eat and study at the same time?
eat alphabet soup
which word is the odd one out: first second third fourth fifth sixth seventh eighth
forth incorrectly spelled
what comes before tomorrow but after today, and even when you have it it's going away?
tonight
if you throw me I come back
boomarang
I have a mouth, no butt, two cranes and floating vessels. what am i?
ship dock
how do you get from here to exit in five minutes?
there is no possible answer
what has two gray legs and two brown legs?
elephant with diaria
the man who needs me doesn't want me. the man who makes me doesn't need me, and the man who has me doesn't know he has me. what am i
cofin
I went to a party and saw 20 people but i saw 24 heads. how is that possible?
there were 20 foreheads
what do lazy dogs like to do for fun?
chase parked cars
the celebrities of high school were part of this crowd
popular
4 _ 4 _ 4 _ 4 = 20 in the above dictionary see that there are 3 blank spaces between four ( 4's ) youhave to insert signs ( +, -, *, / ) between them in such a manner that the result equals " 20 ".
444420
the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every place
i dont no
a man went to the hardware store to buy items for his house. 1 would cost $. 25 12 would cost $. 50 122 would cost $. 75 when he left the store he had spent $. 75, what did he buy?
house numbers
what is a frog's favorite electronic device?
ipad
where do fish keep their money?
riverbank
kent is cute he is fine what is he?
good looking
how can you make a car, a parrot, a refrigerator, and a tv liquid?
sell them
an appropriately loud response to fear, excitement, or your team scoring
yell
I start with an e and end with an e. what am i?
eye or envalope
a little boy has green eyes, the next day they are gray. monday the next week they are blue. what color are they?
they are hazel
what is more powerful than god. more evil than the devil. rich people need. poor people have. and if you eat it you will surely die? what am i?
nothingnothing at all
a basketball drops from nowhere and nobody is around. so how does the ball get there?
it doesnt fall
there is a man in his car shot and dead. there are no bullet holes in the car. the windows are up and the doors are locked. how was this man shot?
convertable
I saw a fight the other day; a damsel did begin the fray she with her daily friend did meet, then standing in the open street, she gave such hard and sturdy blows, he bled ten gallons at the nose; yet neither seemed to faint nor fall, nor gave her an abuse at all
pump
what is black & small cannot be seen in the night and has something you want to bounce?
lotto
where does the eastern bunny like to eat breakfast?
ihop
I fit in with other people, but i can not talk. i create pictures, but i can not see. what am i?
puzzle piece
ancient and majestic, great big piles of stones, used to encase both riches and bones seen from certain angles, they look like big triangles
pyramids
what stays in one in the corner but always travels around the world?
stamp duh
look at these numbers: 11, 33, 69 what are common about them?
theyre symmetrical
what do you call a clever sweet?
smartie
I say i'm ugly, you say i'm pretty. i say i'm fat, you say i'm skinny. i say i'm short you say i'm tall. whatever am i?
super model
what becomes too young the longer it exists?
portrait
how do you treat a shark
zelda
I carry stuff inside my pouch, you can look inside me and out, i am treated like a punching bag if i am squishy what am i?
pencilcase
what is dracular's favourite dog?
blood hound
Mary's father has five daughters. 1. name 2. nine 3. nine 4. nono. what is the 5th daughters name?
mary
what does a ghost call their parents?
their transparent
for it dies a hundred feet up in the air and its back on the ground, what is it?
centipede
what can you do if you say " nice "?
wait
a prehistoric reptile that lives today and the inspiration for the name of a popular sports drink
gator
I start with us and end with it, and have you in the middle. what am i?
suit
why did the police arrest the bird?
he was a robin
what question wont you answer yes to?
are you asleep
what is in a tv?
alphabet u
what has four eyes but can't see?
2 blind mice
a sundial is the timepiece with the least amount of moving parts. what is the timepiece with the greatest amount of moving parts?
hourglass
an animal who gives away money and says too
cashcow
when I type i tap these on the keys
fingertips
I am 1 thing. without me it will be incomplete. make sure i fit. what am i?
puzzle piece
what bone has a sense of humor?
humorous
blend a teapot shot so the pearlies won't rot!
toothpaste
what does the " h " in " ihu " stand for?
hear
what measures out time, until in time all is smashed to it?
sand
using only four nines ( 9, 9, 9, 9 ), put them in any mathematical equation so that when they add up, it will equal 100.
9999
you can see every thing you can see with out something
day and night
you might love me in summer but i never like the sun. the hotter the weather, the softer I get. what can i?
ice cream
they are dark - colored creatures serenaded by tendons and mccartney
blackbird
what's white and flies up?
confused snowflake
one strand dangled. two strands twist. three or more can fashion this.
braids
dogs and cats falling every where. how do they make them stop falling?
they give them some food
what did the hangman get his wife for her birthday?
choker
what has feet and legs, but nothing else?
pantyhose
what clothing does a house wear?
dress address get it
we are a pair, we can dart here and there, though we always stay in one place. we can smile or shed tears, show our pleasure or fears, and you'll find us on everyone's face. what are we?
two eyes
what does everyone have that they can always count on?
their fingers
there was a car crash. in the car crash there was a boy and his father. they were rushed to different hospitals in different ambulances. when the boy arrived they had to do surgery on him. the surgeon says " i can not operate on this boy, he is my son ". how can this be?
sergion was boys mother
I am a tea, followed by a read, what do i spell?
tweak
there is a man in uniform and he is dead and lying next to a rock who is he and how did he die
superman laying next to criptnight
as i was going to see. lives i met a man with seven wives, every wife had seven sacks, every sack had seven cats, every cat had seven kittens, every kitten had seven mittens. how many were going to be. lives
one me lol
it cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. it lies behind stars and under hills, and empty holes it fills. it comes first and follows after, ends life, kills laughter.
dark
you use me everyday but let me rest at night. i have an identical twin beside me all the time. for some reason you always cover me up. i am not alive but i have a soul. what am i?
your feet
if theres a penny, nickel, dime, and a quaartheron top of a roof and the penny, nickel, and the dime jus of a building and quarter does not?
because he has more cents
what is a four digit number in which the first digit is one third the second digit, the third is the sum of the first and seconddigit, and the last is three times the second?
1349
I am, every person you can know and every place that you can go is everything that you can show. quite interesting to what am i that you use?
noun
there is a submarine that will only operate if there are exactly 20 passengers on the ship. if the first 19 seats were taken by average sized men and the last seat was taken by a fat over weighted lady, how come the submarine sank?
submarines are supposed to sink
my last half is something that can allow you entrance into a secured area, & i am also a nation. some people find me mouth watering. what am i?
turkey
when i am young i am tall. when i am old i am short. what can i be?
fire a candle
that person has been married many women, but he had never been married. who is he?
priest
a man and a woman were in a car the man stopped and locked all the doors and went to a store when he came back the woman was dead and a person that he never saw before was there. what happened to the woman?
women had a baby
this became a fashion statement in the garden of ended
figleaf
that has one hundred legs but does not walk
50x2100 50 panties
in all of the thousands of blooming flowers no one flower is exactly the same as the other in appearance. but deep inside, they are all the same. because they all have one thing inside them.
pollen or nectar
a plane crashes right on the border line of cabbage and see where do you bury the survivors?
you dont barey survivers
when the child placed his school books on the television after he returned from school what was his plan?
to watch payperview
there's a person who is at a store. is it a boy or a girl?
who cares
the robber viciously tore the earring from mafia's ear, yes, mafia wasn't hurt. explain how this is possible
they were clip on earrings
half a circle full a circle half a circle a half a circle full a circle like what does that spell?
coca cola
what expression is in the following? theredface
red in the face