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FAG
As to the rest, ma'am, this gentleman can inform you better than I.
JULIA
[To DAVID.] Do speak, friend.
DAVID
Look'ee, my lady--by the mass! there's mischief going on. Folks don't
use to meet for amusement with firearms, firelocks, fire-engines,
fire-screens, fire-office, and the devil knows what other crackers
beside!--This, my lady, I say, has an angry savour.
JULIA
But who is there beside Captain Absolute, friend?
DAVID
My poor master--under favour for mentioning him first. You know me, my
lady--I am David--and my master of course is, or was, Squire Acres.
Then comes Squire Faulkland.
JULIA
Do, ma'am, let us instantly endeavour to prevent mischief.
Mrs. MALAPROP
O fy! it would be very inelegant in us:--we should only participate
things.
DAVID
Ah! do, Mrs. Aunt, save a few lives--they are desperately given,
believe me.--Above all, there is that bloodthirsty Philistine, Sir
Lucius O'Trigger.
Mrs. MALAPROP
Sir Lucius O'Trigger? O mercy! have they drawn poor little dear Sir
Lucius into the scrape?--Why how you stand, girl! you have no more
feeling than one of the Derbyshire petrifactions!
LYDIA
What are we to do, madam?
Mrs. MALAPROP
Why, fly with the utmost felicity, to be sure, to prevent
mischief!--Here, friend, you can show us the place?
FAG
If you please, ma'am, I will conduct you.--David, do you look for Sir
Anthony.
[Exit DAVID.]
Mrs. MALAPROP
Come, girls! this gentleman will exhort us.--Come, sir, you're our
envoy--lead the way, and we'll precede.
FAG
Not a step before the ladies for the world!
Mrs. MALAPROP
You're sure you know the spot?
FAG
I think I can find it, ma'am; and one good thing is, we shall hear the
report of the pistols as we draw near, so we can't well miss
them;--never fear, ma'am, never fear.
[Exeunt, he talking.]
[Enter CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE, putting his sword under his great coat.]
ABSOLUTE
A sword seen in the streets of Bath would raise as great an alarm as a
mad dog.--How provoking this is in Faulkland!--never punctual! I shall
be obliged to go without him at last.--Oh, the devil! here's Sir
Anthony! how shall I escape him? [Muffles up his face, and takes a
circle to go off.]
[Enter Sir ANTHONY ABSOLUTE.]
Sir ANTHONY
How one may be deceived at a little distance! Only that I see he don't
know me, I could have sworn that was Jack!--Hey! Gad's life! it
is.--Why, Jack, what are you afraid of? hey!--sure I'm right. Why Jack,
Jack Absolute! [Goes up to him.]
ABSOLUTE
Really, sir, you have the advantage of me:--I don't remember ever to
have had the honour--my name is Saunderson, at your service.
Sir ANTHONY
Sir, I beg your pardon--I took you--hey?--why, zounds! it
is--Stay--[Looks up to his face.] So, so--your humble servant, Mr.
Saunderson! Why, you scoundrel, what tricks are you after now?
ABSOLUTE
Oh, a joke, sir, a joke! I came here on purpose to look for you, sir.
Sir ANTHONY
You did! well, I am glad you were so lucky:--but what are you muffled
up so for?--what's this for?--hey!