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simpsons marches onward into season 394. characters morph into grotesque mockeries over 100s of years. homer advocates cock and ball torture
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a 3x3 inch picture of my dirty teeth, framed ornately and hung on the wall of a mafia-owned jiffy lube waiting room in louisville, kentucky.
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ME: when committing to a project like "the 12 days", you are forced to bear your soul to countless vicious cannibals
GQ: crhist. its true
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taking my treat plate into the bathroom with me because my followers are a wolf in sheeps cltohes
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im a fruad. i wear the wrangler jeans despite never having wrangled a single goddamn thing in my life
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"Howard Stern should start a pod cast" may be one of the worst things ive ever posted, but still seems unfair to have my tires slashed daily
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thinking about my coffee mug that says "Guys who collect beanie babies know how to fuck better than guys who dont like beanie babies" on it.
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windows..on behalf of all boys online, INCLUDING the trolls, id like to extend a well-deserve "Thank You" for putting updates in my computer
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i lure a group of newly hatched baby turtles into an abandoned warehouse using a photo of the ocean and turn them into moths #GOthicOrder
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consider that the possibility remains, that most of you have not yet hit the skill ceiling of wiping your ass
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"Stick It" to the bastards of Washington using this hot new WendysTrick: Bigtime WendyScam for Nonviable Bun Bargain; Pitiful & Effective
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApxjOMDgFZE my girfriend latest victim of disgusting bp oil spil
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obama and his crack team of nsa crooks watching me shit: "sir, he's scooting backwards so his dick doesn't touch the rim" "Thuis guy's good"
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i can confirm that the candid photos on Darknet of me eating a breakfast wrap are real. and i will issue an apology for the trouble i caused
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i spend the majority of my computer time #Frowning
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http://t.co/ht1ueoTuNI what hte fuck are you doing
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a <DUMPSTER WITHIN A DUMPSTER>, once in a lifetime find, can be used as Armor or rolled down a steep incline to make A TON of noise
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DOCTOR RIPS FAKE BLOOD APPARATUS FROM MY LEG DURING RED CROSS DONATION DRIVE, I HOOT AND HOLLER AND HOP INTO THE ESCAPE SEWER
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(using a hand mirror to get a real good look at my Fucking balls) whoah!! im seeing double!
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http://t.co/lLzKlr1s perfect
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just me again reminding all of you seriousyl dumb motherfuckers to get your daily sperm count. some of you are walking around with weak cum.
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Oh looks like people are "Too busy" to drop me a Like on some of my replies now. Guess I'll go lay in the road and get hit by CARS !!!
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when it comes to eating things at restaurants i love the shit that is "Fresco"
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http://i.imgur.com/vB8UL.jpg no
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FURTHER MORe, any future tweet i make may now randomly be designated as a "Hell Tweet", meaning if you reply to it , you will be blocked,
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im seated down, and Ready to get pissed off.........
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*all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird
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assault on liberty: the local farms have begun smearing dragon blood on their pig troughs to keep me away from them
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film your wives you god damn morons. im paying top dollar for wife footage
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http://bit.ly/aC0hVF vile footage exhumed from Apache Chief Geronimo's cursed grave
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computer show me an animated picture of bugs bunny eating a huge watermelon in a way thats comical but not racist
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" big-ears bastard ruins another opera after being flung off the balcony by marines "
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i do not watch the snl show (Too crass) but i do enjoy reading the episode summaries that they put in the newspaper for some reason
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from now on. i am calling everyone who is a dumb ass. "Anti- Intelligeance"
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if i were police i would send bugs bunny and his shit pals to prison for violating the constitutional order of the united states of america.
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#ReplaceBandNamesWithDad nutty professor 2 the klumps
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projectile drooling: im the only person in the world who does this. doctors refuse to help me
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for every animal you dont eat i will eat the grab and go yogurt gogurt,maddox said that and it owned, someone get that quote,someone please
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i have been sitting in my computer chair repeating to myself the phrase "The god father of posts" for the past 9 hours .
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DisgruntledStepSon
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today; we are all Yale
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one of the things you realize when becoming a genius in many aspects of life is that the world wide web. and the computer, is the same thing
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http://t.co/tfAZeLa6
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TYLER PERRY ----------> MONSANTO <----------- 666
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Delighted to announce that the mental illness from being quarantined has caused me to develop an altaer-ego named "Mr. Simplepleasures"
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http://t.co/50D8jZjEvP #NoFuck
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your mission is to get laid on gmail. delete all other apps, do not talk to me until you fuck. your mission is to fuck and suck on gmail
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update from the good time line—Bacion is legal to eat at work thanks to President Banksy in the whitehouse, now known as the star wars house
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"brevity is the soul of SHIT" - the shit man
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how many druglords do i have to take down to get dog the bounty hunter to unblock me after i threatened to breastfeed him or something
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im sorry for getting bonnaroo 2015 cancelled b/c i used the hashtag to ask ppl to put teeth in my ass. but im Not sorry for defeating trolls
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boys i need a full report on your Scalp Health by uhh 8pm or else ill go ape shit in the dms,
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i jsut imagined a nude body and winded my self
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i am interested ni "meme format". i am going to experiment in "meme format", to improve my page. http://t.co/UELlEWJlpo
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iran suports team coco or what have you. goodnight
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maybe when hte myth buster finally decide to tackle blood diamond slavery, maybe THEN ill bother to tivo their shitty show.
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hm whats this? dropped a copy of my 263-page memoir "All Bi Myself" on the florr of this trendy teen cafe. dont have time to pick it up. l8r
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yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
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does anyon know if robert mugabe have a twitter site
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Kathleen Turner will star for director Herb Ross at MGM in the comedy feature "Cloak and Diaper,'' a Michael Lobell-Andrew Bergman productio
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if the sting ray that killed steve irwin tried to kill me i would bust its ass and crumple it up like a newspaper
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for the second time in november iit is now international mens day. Wow
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wife put me in the dog house agauin for failing to get the blue checkmark... and people ask me why im mgtow pua...
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some fucking Karen pooped in the elevator
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if id known he was planning on using it to wipe his dogs shitty mouth i wouldve never allowed XenoMarcus to borrow my monogrammed neckbrace
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AYE... THE OJ SIMPSON VERDICT IS SOMEWHAT SHIT , INNIT!!!!!!
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you can put truck nuts on other things besides trucks idiot
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the show, "Hee-Haw, " sucks mother fucking ass
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university lost accreditation when nickelodeon slimed the dean, degree is useless, 200000 in debt & back in diapers, love getting ass kicked
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jamie kennedy WILL be waterboarded at the spike tv VGAs in order to prove once and for all that it isnt torture and that iraqis are pu$$ys
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Clean Ass , Clean Mind
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ive beenn using Confidence and Self Esteem lately, to get unprecedented deals on discarded promotional displays at game stop
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i want to be wearing google glass when i see my wife in her wedding dress fofr the very first time so i can turn it into a big dorito
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it's that time of the year when my father sends me pictures of jails and tells me that i must learn to Respect a good barbecue dry rub
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i have trained my two fat identical sons to sit outside of my office and protect my brain from mindfreaks by meditating intensely
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kfc commercial idea: a man is trying to get into kfc but he is too small to reach the door handle. he tries and tries and nobody helps him
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Thats what they do. They rile you up with nonsense posts just so they can call the cops on you and get you arrested. Its called "Intrapment"
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surgury to become japanese. Surgeruy to become Japanese
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requesting hand critiques. please be honest , but fair http://t.co/3vecQz6R6q
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"calling out" magnetGirl77 for telling me that my dick looks like "a piece of fried calamari"
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humbly Genuflecting myself before my girl followers, at the end of another red-letter sunday night on the comptuer
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let me be very clear: i would rather attend a Pig's wedding than attempt to sift through the dumpster you people have made out of my dm box,
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injecvting a shit ton of steroids and walking on the treadmill at 3mph
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ill kick any ones ass who is a "BOOMER"
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guys in a pizzeria fighting and busting the little parmesan shakers against the table to shiv each other with
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my expert analysis wouuld indicate that each point on the dow jones = 1 job(s)
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its time to destigmatize the Balls... and restigmatize the Ass
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i bet half the people posting "Ah!" on here dont even realize its an acronym for "Acknowledged Heartily"
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*gets booed at USO show for makig Diaper Jokes, calls all the troops Fuckers*
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http://t.co/M7n5uOc3Ft
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too much pressure from society saying we all got to learn how to self suck. iwill never self suck my dick and im unfollowing anyone who does
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enjoying my "BEER O CLOCK" tshirt? yeah I got a whole hamper full of these badboys at home. you can come over & look at them all if you like
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wfie chasing me with rolling pin because i changed my display name to "black Wolf" and put the Poly flag in there
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ah ye,s its nigh time that the Lexus has attained Trending Topic status, there is no Finer car, "This Is Exceptional", Lexus. The car, Lexus
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send me bedbug positivity links or Fuckoff
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i offer my toilet to the mail man everyday. my toilets not good enough for the big important mailman apparently. mailman is a bad job anyway
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im the only man to put on the CIA invented "Heart attack diaper" and live
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A FRANKENSTEIN #illegalDogBreeds
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burger king just did a $100 billion ad campaign to tell us theyre putting piss in the food now when i tell people that for free every day
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fellas... you know i dont ask for much... but my fake US embassy in Ghana just got shut down and i dont know if i can make rent next month,
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