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>
I heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children"
] |
>
at a party | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid"
] |
>
He made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party"
] |
>
Time to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why."
] |
>
Wow that brought me back | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense"
] |
>
Those games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back"
] |
>
Seconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?
enter GLAIVE DOMINUS
great game.
Jus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger."
] |
>
They forgot we have camo detect villages | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons"
] |
>
Which become the all important MIB. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages"
] |
>
Manchurian Intelligence Balloon | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB."
] |
>
I live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon"
] |
>
What did the alert say? That must have been surreal | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly"
] |
>
"DONT LOOK UP" | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal"
] |
>
“NOPE” | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\""
] |
>
Tracking it...?
Why don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates? | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”"
] |
>
Balloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?"
] |
>
If they don’t shoot it down how do they do that? | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft."
] |
>
Balloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.
They have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.
As you can imagine, not many exist. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?"
] |
>
Can confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist."
] |
>
Thank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war."
] |
>
I can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate."
] |
>
We're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade."
] |
>
This sounds like the best possible WW3 | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed"
] |
>
Ballon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3"
] |
>
Not gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need"
] |
>
"It looks like a giant ball..."
"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?" | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot."
] |
>
"Coach I think I see.."
"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a..." | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\""
] |
>
"Teabag!
Excuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug..."
"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's..." | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\""
] |
>
"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first."
"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?"
"Wow, that looks exactly like my..." | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\""
] |
>
"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his..." | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\""
] |
>
"Junk!"
"Junk, Ozzy?"
"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time."
"What fuckin' joke?"
"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's..." | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\""
] |
>
"Two vegetables?"
"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!"
"You sure you wouldn't rather order the..." | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\""
] |
>
"Frank and Beans?"
"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's....." | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\""
] |
>
BALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big... | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\""
] |
>
goodnight table
goodnight moon
goodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big..."
] |
>
Goodnight stars
Goodnight air
Goodnight new form of aerial warfare | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon"
] |
>
Goodnight room
Goodnight cow jumping over the moon
Goodnight blinking light, in the red balloon | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare"
] |
>
Goodnight cow
Goodnight moon
Goodnight blinking red light in the room | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon"
] |
>
Goodnight noises everywhere. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room"
] |
>
And goodnight old broad in the rocking chair | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere."
] |
>
The proper response | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair"
] |
>
It's actually a battlebus | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response"
] |
>
Ima drop in texas. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus"
] |
>
It's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas."
] |
>
Live footage of the NSA cryptographers right now | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it."
] |
>
Live footage of the Chinese military right now | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now"
] |
>
This is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance! | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now"
] |
>
Just print the damn thing! | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!"
] |
>
There are checking for inflation | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!"
] |
>
People are blowing up about it | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation"
] |
>
it is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it"
] |
>
Can we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay"
] |
>
This comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down.
Cut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.
Edit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere."
] |
>
Just duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation."
] |
>
This is America, we don't save on bullets. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets."
] |
>
You're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets."
] |
>
That is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets"
] |
>
Kind of already exists but in missile form. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives."
] |
>
That’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form."
] |
>
Honestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are."
] |
>
This is a hidden agenda reveal | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often."
] |
>
I love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.
If they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal"
] |
>
Fun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other."
] |
>
Actually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao."
] |
>
Was that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers? | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security"
] |
>
After the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?"
] |
>
Prob the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President"
] |
>
♬ 99 spy balloons
Floating in the summer sky
Panic bells, it's red alert
There's something here from somewhere else
The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky
The 99 spy balloons go by ♬ | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana"
] |
>
This is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬"
] |
>
/The President is on the line / /
/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/ | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war"
] |
>
When you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/"
] |
>
Actual photo here. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon"
] |
>
"Oh bother!" | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here."
] |
>
They're doing a fentanyl drop. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\""
] |
>
98 more and we'll have a problem | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop."
] |
>
luftballon! | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem"
] |
>
bass synth intensifies | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!"
] |
>
Find a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.
You guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies"
] |
>
Ladies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions."
] |
>
Can we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade? | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense."
] |
>
This could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?"
] |
>
I say we retaliate with our own balloons. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him"
] |
>
1, 2, 3, 4.
I declare balloon war. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons."
] |
>
how do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment? | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war."
] |
>
The article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?"
] |
>
It did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry"
] |
>
Someone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr."
] |
>
He’s retired. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it."
] |
>
Uncle Rico it is then | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired."
] |
>
You want to see him throw a football over them mountains? | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then"
] |
>
Next time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?"
] |
>
Lmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.
Last part of the article.
Military expert's view
Ganyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry.
Such balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed.
China intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.
Edit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this."
] |
>
I might be stupid but i didnt see that in the article, am i blind? | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.",
">\n\nLmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.\nLast part of the article.\n\nMilitary expert's view \nGanyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry. \nSuch balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed. \nChina intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.\n\nEdit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost"
] |
>
JFC, they actually did. Propaganda machine at work in real time | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.",
">\n\nLmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.\nLast part of the article.\n\nMilitary expert's view \nGanyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry. \nSuch balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed. \nChina intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.\n\nEdit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost",
">\n\nI might be stupid but i didnt see that in the article, am i blind?"
] |
>
The US COMPETES Act allocated 500 million dollars for propaganda specially against China, and that's not the only allocation. There's lots of it about. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.",
">\n\nLmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.\nLast part of the article.\n\nMilitary expert's view \nGanyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry. \nSuch balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed. \nChina intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.\n\nEdit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost",
">\n\nI might be stupid but i didnt see that in the article, am i blind?",
">\n\nJFC, they actually did. Propaganda machine at work in real time"
] |
>
Why use a spy balloon when they have tik tok? | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.",
">\n\nLmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.\nLast part of the article.\n\nMilitary expert's view \nGanyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry. \nSuch balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed. \nChina intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.\n\nEdit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost",
">\n\nI might be stupid but i didnt see that in the article, am i blind?",
">\n\nJFC, they actually did. Propaganda machine at work in real time",
">\n\nThe US COMPETES Act allocated 500 million dollars for propaganda specially against China, and that's not the only allocation. There's lots of it about."
] |
>
Different data points.
Balloon provides geographical information. Response of military. Response of local media.
tik tok provides movement of every registered user and potentially those they come into contact with. As well as mass data too find "high target" people and to understand their daily GPS/route habits. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.",
">\n\nLmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.\nLast part of the article.\n\nMilitary expert's view \nGanyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry. \nSuch balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed. \nChina intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.\n\nEdit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost",
">\n\nI might be stupid but i didnt see that in the article, am i blind?",
">\n\nJFC, they actually did. Propaganda machine at work in real time",
">\n\nThe US COMPETES Act allocated 500 million dollars for propaganda specially against China, and that's not the only allocation. There's lots of it about.",
">\n\nWhy use a spy balloon when they have tik tok?"
] |
>
Pretty sure if we set up a bunch of Wal-Mart box fans and point them west it should just blow it out into the ocean. | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.",
">\n\nLmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.\nLast part of the article.\n\nMilitary expert's view \nGanyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry. \nSuch balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed. \nChina intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.\n\nEdit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost",
">\n\nI might be stupid but i didnt see that in the article, am i blind?",
">\n\nJFC, they actually did. Propaganda machine at work in real time",
">\n\nThe US COMPETES Act allocated 500 million dollars for propaganda specially against China, and that's not the only allocation. There's lots of it about.",
">\n\nWhy use a spy balloon when they have tik tok?",
">\n\nDifferent data points. \nBalloon provides geographical information. Response of military. Response of local media. \ntik tok provides movement of every registered user and potentially those they come into contact with. As well as mass data too find \"high target\" people and to understand their daily GPS/route habits."
] |
>
☝️ Thinker! | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.",
">\n\nLmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.\nLast part of the article.\n\nMilitary expert's view \nGanyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry. \nSuch balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed. \nChina intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.\n\nEdit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost",
">\n\nI might be stupid but i didnt see that in the article, am i blind?",
">\n\nJFC, they actually did. Propaganda machine at work in real time",
">\n\nThe US COMPETES Act allocated 500 million dollars for propaganda specially against China, and that's not the only allocation. There's lots of it about.",
">\n\nWhy use a spy balloon when they have tik tok?",
">\n\nDifferent data points. \nBalloon provides geographical information. Response of military. Response of local media. \ntik tok provides movement of every registered user and potentially those they come into contact with. As well as mass data too find \"high target\" people and to understand their daily GPS/route habits.",
">\n\nPretty sure if we set up a bunch of Wal-Mart box fans and point them west it should just blow it out into the ocean."
] |
>
For the people shouting, "THIS IS OUR AIRSPACE! SHOOT IT DOWN OR MERICA WILL LOOK WEAK!" Here is the smallest example idea of how counterintelligence works. There are many possible scenarios let's go over a basic one.
US intelligence gets wind of a Chinese spy plot to use a high altitude surveillance balloon in the coming weeks.
US assets in the Chinese military and / or US spies are contacted to discreetly learn more.
US intelligence and national security experts discuss various options such as
Let it slip that the US knows about the program, causing China to likely shut it down
Prepare an immediate response as a show of strength/ rapid response capabilities.
Feign ignorance and prepare counter intel measures.
So feigning ignorance is the most beneficial option. We can prepare and make sure no vital info will be gained by our enemies, while our countermeasures net us valuable Intel and insight by maybe monitoring what data is being gathered and stored, as well as who or where it's being sent to.
After the Chinese balloon is discovered, we choose to sandbag a confused response, throw our hands in the air, and cry about how upset and exposed we are. Make statements about future preparations blah blah.
Sometimes, the smartest thing to do is simply not act and let things play out.
For a classic example of this, look up Alan Turing and the Enigma Code. He deciphered Nazi communication codes and that gave allied forces a massive leg up. But he also understood that if we thwarted every Nazi ploy, that they would know we had cracked the code... So the decision was made to simply lose certain battles, soldiers died, ships and planes were lost, all to maintain the appearance that the code was still intact. That's counter intelligence, that's how wars are won.
Hell, I'd say the fact this is a headline almost proves we had advance knowledge. Otherwise, the government would just stifle this type of news in the name of national security.
Truth is we (the public) don't fucking know, but what we do know is that we don't have universal healthcare for a reason. That reason being we spend a whole fuck load on defense, and although it's possible, it's not probable that we knew nothing of a giant, poorly engineered, not even slightly camouflaged, slow moving balloon, sending out random signals, within our basic radar monitoring capabilities, thwarted our various military and intelligence branches...
So keep calm, carry on, and distract yourself with Budlite, gun-shows, and the Super Bowl | [
"Someone please make a Chinese version of \"99 Luftballons\"",
">\n\nThis person got it started.",
">\n\nCan somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?",
">\n\nProbably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.",
">\n\nF-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.",
">\n\nI heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons",
">\n\nHe’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.",
">\n\nHe'll save children, but not the British children",
">\n\nI heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid",
">\n\nat a party",
">\n\nHe made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei in a duel and never told us why.",
">\n\nTime to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense",
">\n\nWow that brought me back",
">\n\nThose games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.",
">\n\nSeconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?\nenter GLAIVE DOMINUS \ngreat game. \nJus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons",
">\n\nThey forgot we have camo detect villages",
">\n\nWhich become the all important MIB.",
">\n\nManchurian Intelligence Balloon",
">\n\nI live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly",
">\n\nWhat did the alert say? That must have been surreal",
">\n\n\"DONT LOOK UP\"",
">\n\n“NOPE”",
">\n\nTracking it...?\nWhy don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?",
">\n\nBalloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.",
">\n\nIf they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?",
">\n\nBalloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.\nThey have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.\nAs you can imagine, not many exist.",
">\n\nCan confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.",
">\n\nThank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.",
">\n\nI can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.",
">\n\nWe're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed",
">\n\nThis sounds like the best possible WW3",
">\n\nBallon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need",
">\n\nNot gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.",
">\n\n\"It looks like a giant ball...\"\n\"...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?\"",
">\n\n\"Coach I think I see..\" \n\"...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a...\"",
">\n\n\"Teabag! \nExcuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug...\"\n\"Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's...\"",
">\n\n\"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first.\"\n\"Hold on, what is that up in the sky?\"\n\"Wow, that looks exactly like my...\"",
">\n\n\"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his...\"",
">\n\n\"Junk!\"\n\"Junk, Ozzy?\"\n\"They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time.\"\n\"What fuckin' joke?\"\n\"You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's...\"",
">\n\n\"Two vegetables?\"\n\"No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!\"\n\"You sure you wouldn't rather order the...\"",
">\n\n\"Frank and Beans?\"\n\"That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's.....\"",
">\n\nBALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...",
">\n\ngoodnight table\ngoodnight moon\ngoodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight stars\nGoodnight air\nGoodnight new form of aerial warfare",
">\n\nGoodnight room\nGoodnight cow jumping over the moon\nGoodnight blinking light, in the red balloon",
">\n\nGoodnight cow\nGoodnight moon\nGoodnight blinking red light in the room",
">\n\nGoodnight noises everywhere.",
">\n\nAnd goodnight old broad in the rocking chair",
">\n\nThe proper response",
">\n\nIt's actually a battlebus",
">\n\nIma drop in texas.",
">\n\nIt's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.",
">\n\nLive footage of the NSA cryptographers right now",
">\n\nLive footage of the Chinese military right now",
">\n\nThis is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!",
">\n\nJust print the damn thing!",
">\n\nThere are checking for inflation",
">\n\nPeople are blowing up about it",
">\n\nit is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay",
">\n\nCan we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.",
">\n\nThis comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. \nCut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.\nEdit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation.",
">\n\nJust duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.",
">\n\nThis is America, we don't save on bullets.",
">\n\nYou're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets",
">\n\nThat is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.",
">\n\nKind of already exists but in missile form.",
">\n\nThat’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are.",
">\n\nHonestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.",
">\n\nThis is a hidden agenda reveal",
">\n\nI love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.\nIf they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.",
">\n\nFun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.",
">\n\nActually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security",
">\n\nWas that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?",
">\n\nAfter the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President",
">\n\nProb the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana",
">\n\n♬ 99 spy balloons\nFloating in the summer sky\nPanic bells, it's red alert\nThere's something here from somewhere else\nThe war machine springs to life\nOpens up one eager eye\nFocusing it on the sky\nThe 99 spy balloons go by ♬",
">\n\nThis is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war",
">\n\n/The President is on the line / /\n/ /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/",
">\n\nWhen you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon",
">\n\nActual photo here.",
">\n\n\"Oh bother!\"",
">\n\nThey're doing a fentanyl drop.",
">\n\n98 more and we'll have a problem",
">\n\nluftballon!",
">\n\nbass synth intensifies",
">\n\nFind a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.\nYou guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.",
">\n\nLadies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense.",
">\n\nCan we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?",
">\n\nThis could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him",
">\n\nI say we retaliate with our own balloons.",
">\n\n1, 2, 3, 4.\nI declare balloon war.",
">\n\nhow do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?",
">\n\nThe article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry",
">\n\nIt did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.",
">\n\nSomeone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.",
">\n\nHe’s retired.",
">\n\nUncle Rico it is then",
">\n\nYou want to see him throw a football over them mountains?",
">\n\nNext time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.",
">\n\nLmao thanks for posting the article in a misleading way OP.\nLast part of the article.\n\nMilitary expert's view \nGanyard predicted the balloon was an experiment gone awry. \nSuch balloons are not controlled after their release and while they are normally equipped with mechanisms to deflate over an open area, the mechanisms can fail, Ganyard said. So it's possible the balloon would have drifted over from China after multiple days, rather than being nefariously deployed. \nChina intentionally deploying a reconnaissance balloon over the U.S. would be highly provocative, with little value, Ganyard said, noting that Chinese satellites are able to collect information in a similar manner.\n\nEdit: These fearmongering mofos edited their article.... saving a photo from GMA so it's not lost",
">\n\nI might be stupid but i didnt see that in the article, am i blind?",
">\n\nJFC, they actually did. Propaganda machine at work in real time",
">\n\nThe US COMPETES Act allocated 500 million dollars for propaganda specially against China, and that's not the only allocation. There's lots of it about.",
">\n\nWhy use a spy balloon when they have tik tok?",
">\n\nDifferent data points. \nBalloon provides geographical information. Response of military. Response of local media. \ntik tok provides movement of every registered user and potentially those they come into contact with. As well as mass data too find \"high target\" people and to understand their daily GPS/route habits.",
">\n\nPretty sure if we set up a bunch of Wal-Mart box fans and point them west it should just blow it out into the ocean.",
">\n\n☝️ Thinker!"
] |
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