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1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
07,January,2003
I remember that one of the effects of Prozac is that it reduces your inhibitions and makes you more playful. In fact that's how I feel when I'm really happy. And you know what? I'm beginning to feel like that again.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
07,January,2003
Trying not to get too excited about this (don't want to get my hopes up!) but my dream job has just appeared on the Bangor Careers service: Cymru Prosper Wales Graduate Placement Programme 2002 / 2003 Job Title: Environmental Administrator Company: South Caernarfon Creameries Ltd, Pwllheli, Gwynedd Placement Details: Minimum of 180 p.w. / 12 weeks Basic Purpose of Job The basic purpose of the placement will be to set up an Environmental Management manual and Environmental Management system within the company. Knowledge, Skills and Discipline Required  A graduate with an Environmental background  Welsh speaking would be preferred  Driving license  Computer literacy (including word and excel) Got to give it a shot! Don't speak Welsh, and I hope they don't automatically give it to a Welsh speaker over me, but I am ideally qualified for it!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
07,January,2003
Radio 4's Midweek had the author of a fascinating book on this morning: a study of lucky and unlucky people. Apparently theres no paranormal or otherwise explanation of luck, its just the way people think. A simple test is to imagine that you're in a bank raid, and that you are shot in the arm. How do you feel? An unlucky person may think 'how awful, trust me to end up in a bank being robbed, and get shot'. But a lucky person would think 'thank goodness I wasn't shot and killed'. One person in the study even thought 'great, I've been shot in a bank raid, now I sell my story to the papers!'. It seems that luckniss comes down to a way of thinking. Lucky people see the best in everything and see set-backs as challenges. Unlucky people are much more pessimistic. (The authors studied how frequently 'lucky' and 'unlucky' people won money on the lottery, which is a game of pure chance. It was 50/50.) I suspect I have the 'unlucky' way of thinking. Someone like Sarah or Irene definitely have the 'lucky' way. There's lessons in this for me. Got to get hold of that book. Was thinking about what it would be like if the course had gone smoothly. Realised that I'd be part-way through my first morning in Grango, that horrrid prison of a school. Instead I'm at home, still in bed. So maybe it's not that bad.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
07,January,2003
Well, been fiddling around finding out how to block banner ads. I could block all the ads on Tripod quite easily, but I reckon there's some code in the ads that checks to see if it's being blocked, so I'll leave them for now. They're hardly a problem anyway. Found Sarah's original homepage just now. It was made three years ago, I think she's forgotten it's there. Felt a little weird reading it. Watched GoldenEye this evening. I'd forgotten how good that film is. urlLink
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
07,January,2003
Finally summoned up the courage to phone Janet, my university tutor, to ask for a complete written report covering why I was thrown off the teacher training course. I suprised myself with how nice I was on the phone to her. Politeness itself. I'm glad I've got it done. Can definitely feel the Prozac kicking in now. It's a strange feeling. I feel that still got plenty of things to be depressed about, but now I'm simply not depressed.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
06,January,2003
Hmm, a quick test to see how/if this works
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
28,February,2003
BAD NEWS Poofus the hamster just managed to reach my trousers the bars of her cage last night, and ate them. 35, and I'll have to replace them as 1. They were very good and 2. I only have two pairs of trousers now. Plus the wind blew my lovely slate barometer and glass boat from Venice down yesterday. Over 30 together. But kinda symbolic; both were bought when I was with someone I no longer see. GOOD NEWS Went with Helen to a photo shoot today! It was a with a local professional photographer, and bizarrely his studio his Llandegfan village hall, where I used to help with Cub Scouts. Helen remained dressed this time (it was for a modelling agency portfolio), but it was the same place where she did her nudes and, gulp, *bondage* photos the other week! (for her boyfriend for Valentine's) But I actually spent the time preparing my Sports Science lab tech job application - deadline is in two hours!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
27,February,2003
The club was great! Well, it wasn't a club, it was a flashy wine bar, in the old cellars of a big hotel. Helen was the one and only dancer, but she was fantastic. She enjoyed herself and had over twenty quid tucked in her knickers! Overall, she made 80 last night. All right for some! Well, I said Helen was the only dancer, but that's not strictly true. There was supposed to be a guy dancing with her, and although he turned up, he chickened out. Pussy. However, I'd brought along my mate Andy, who has a great body and is a good dancer. After a quick word with the management, he was off! He wears thongs all the time, so looked the part. He was also pissed, having consumed a bottle of red in preparation. But Andy & Helen, together, were great. Helen brought along her blonde near 6' Danish friend, Carina. Helen, Carina and I all get along very well... Other people came too, including a Greek couple also from Helen's corridor, another Greek lass and of course Ruth. All round, it was a fantastic night, and we didn't leave until well after midnight ;-) Looking after the hamsters is great! The cages nearly fill my tiny room, but they're such fun. Got to give them back later :-( We've spent hours playing with them in the Chaplaincy! Sandra, a German resident, particulary liked them. I let her keep Pretty one night in her room! I think she's missing her best friend, who went home to Germany today. It's nice to cheer someone up. Did her washing up with mine, too. Oh and, Helen has asked me to drive her to a 'glamour' photo shoot tomorrow... she says I can stay and watch... :-)
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
25,February,2003
Today, or rather this evening tomorrow and a bit of Thursday, I'm looking after about half a dozen hamsters. Oh, you want to know why? OK. It's cos they all belong to my friends who live in a student halls, and tomorrow there's going to be a room inspection (and pets aren't allowed), so I'm keeping them in the Chaplaincy in the mean time. There's Pretty, the daddy who lives by himself (as Syrian hamsters should) in one cage, Poofus, the mummy, with three beautiful babies in one big cage, and Rascal, a black baby who now belongs to my friend Ruth and lives in a seperate cage too. The babies will need seperating very soon or they'll start breeding! I'm going to a pole-dancing club tomorrow! Weirdly, this is because of the hamsters. A girl on my friend's corridor had a hamster who suddenly started churning out babies, so we went round to have a look and go 'ahhhhhhh' etc. I got talking with the owner - Helen - and became friends. She's a psychology student, but also extraordinarily good-looking (not that being a psyche student and being good-looking are mutually exclusive!), and a glamour model! She's just got a job as a pole dancer, and starts tomorrow. I'm driving us there. Should be interesting! Helen currently has three of the baby hamsters but gave tw others to my friends on that corridor.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
24,February,2003
Had my first ride on a scooter today. Got up to whole heady 60mph! Was great though. Rode pillion, and went to Llandona beach on Anglesey, with me giving hand-signal directions! Less good was the weekend. I've been very ill and mostly in bed, shame as some people I know from urlLink OUTDOORSmagic were up in Snowdonia to climb Tryfan, and I sorely would've like to have gone with them. Need to insert a bit about the strength testing I did in the week following the peace march. I was a guinea pig for a sports science honours project, and it involved me being strength tested on a KinCom dynanometer and then having to do 150 bicep curls to damage my left bicep! Then cryotherapy - 15mins of my arm being submersed in 15deg water! Blood test too. Tested everyday until Thursday. Interesting stuff. Good to see in Sports Science dept. The girls doing the project were nice too.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
18,February,2003
PEACE MARCH Probably worth saying that I went on the peace demo in London on Saturday Feb 15. A 600 mile round trip from Bangor! But a fanstatic time: We left Bangor at 5.30am, and I spent most of the coach journey down asleep, though on the occasional moments when I did open my eyes the view sun rising over a frosty England through the big windscreen of the coach (I had a front seat) was glorious, until I fell asleep again. Later on, I read UN resolution 1441 and Hans Blix's report, to be as fully informed on the situation as possible. Clearly no case for war. We disembarked and joined the northern branch of the march just south of Euston station.I don't know London at all and got a bit confused as to where we went. I know we broke away from the northern route and cut through Soho (sex shops! woooh!) and maybe Mayfair, and joined the main march by going down New Bond Street a few hundred metres before it went into Hyde Park (which wasn't remotely full at all, actually). We missed Picadilly and Eros (not that I know what that is! Statue I think) but considering I met a woman I know from London entirely by chance (1 in 750,000!), and then had a really good chat with some other people on the coach back, then nevermind. Good, in fact. The Bangor group - strangely and inexplicably - made no attempt to stick together. Some of the people in my little group got bored with the gridlock and cut through the back streets - which were pretty empty. It was quite fun to have our own little mini-march though! But then I split away on my own before we reached Hyde Park, as I was bored of following others and having to constantly stay in sight. Freed from checking everyone's position every ten seconds, I could really appreciate the mood, the atmosphere of the crowd. Something very special indeed. Oh and I had my own home-made 'Free Palestine' placard. I made it in the Chaplaincy on Fri night after coming back from the PC room, when I found a blank board and some paint in the kitchen. Quite proud of it! While wondering around Hyde Park I saw a lot of people looking at it and smiling. However it was only attached to my stick by duck tape as I couldn't find any glue or nails, and it blew off as I was talking to Anne in HP and hit me on the nose!! I now keep it as a souvenier in my room. Found the coach in Park Lane by joggging from one end to the other scanning for it as I ran! All in all a fanstastic day. Maybe our government will ignore us, but at least we stood up to be counted for what we believed in.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
18,February,2003
UPDATE whoo hoo Um, my bike is now a nice trick-looking (get me and my hip cool terms! er...) black rigid mtb. Can't actually ride it though as I'm being a guinea big for a muscle-damage expt, which hurts as much as it sounds like it does. Um, made friends with a pole-dancing glamour model who likes to show me her pictures. oo er missus... Go running with her every other day. She's a real laugh. I'll also be driving her to the club she works in in Beaumaris (weirdly enough... new trendy club under the Bulkley Arms) where she's invited me to watch to her. She makes twenty quid an hour though - I'm not jealous, much, no... She also has a family of baby hamsters, which is how I met her. Oh, and she has a boyfriend :-( Who doesn't live here :-) Um, also met lots of other cool new people, and have developed a tendency to fall asleep in the afternoon. Other than that, can't think of much else for now.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
31,March,2003
Coo, no update since Tuesday... well, not been missing much. Going to bed too late (4am!)/getting up too late (4pm!!), not good. Feel light-headed when exercising - think I've been lying down too much! Took recycling today after clearing a lot of junk out of the Chaplaincy last night (at 3am). Over five sacks of paper!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
26,March,2003
Went to circuit training on Tuesday - damned hard work, Tom had us running sprints in the 'warm-up'! Walked back with Natasha and Beth. Made a change from always driving. Was rather suprised when Cecily asked me if I wanted to go to the beach today! Obliged, but with some trepidation. Anyway, this moring Cecily and I drove to Abberfraw beach. We spent a long time discussing relationships, opposite-sex friendships, a little bit about Islam and what life's like in Florida (where she's spent some time). Cec was actually very nice, after treating me so coolly for the last few weeks. She'd somehow got the idea that I fancied her, which makes her run a mile. She's rather wrong, bless, but a nice girl. Glad I had the chance to talk to her. In the afternoon I was dog-tired having only had five hours sleep last night. But still drove Ruth Louise and Kieron down to Church Island. Funnily enough, it was my first time to Church Island after leaving my ex, just as visiting Aberffraw this morning was the first time since, too. Climbed some trees and a rock outcrops and sat in a big yew tree to read an excellent book I found in the Chaplaincy. It's called 'The Arabs - a Short History' and was first written in 1943 with this (revised) edition published in 1953. It's facinating, written before all the troubles of that region kicked off. The Arabs really are a great people and, afterall, Iraq is the cradle of human civilisation. So much to learn!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
23,March,2003
I've got my hamster back! I visited Ruth last night after leaving here and Sasha was fine with me. I couldn't bear to leave him, and Ruth wanted me to take him before she got too attatched to him! Compared to his sister, he's much thinner, and much more active. I mentioned this to someone today and they said 'just like you then'! Went to the Treborth Botanic gardens work day today. Had a lovely time gardening in the sun. In the morning, I pricked out lettuces, and in the afternoon I cleared scrub. Chatted to some new people - Jenny, who lives next door to Helen and can climb 5c (my best is only 4c!), and another girl who live in Emrys but I didn't get her name. Cute though ;) Another cutie was Mandy, who I've nick-named Lara as she was dressed like Lara Croft! She was a friend of Nicky, who was also there. Me and Jenny sat by the (incredinbly hot - the wheel barrow wheel started smoking!) bonfire and didn't notice everyone leave! So we drove home. Met Emma in the Chaplaincy and phoned Nicky, and we all went to Cable Bay. The setting sun was beautiful; it's reflection like a stream of lava across the sea. We paddled in the sea and climbed on the rocks a bit. We'd seen a woman do an amazing cartwheel-backflip thing, and so we had a go ourselves. I was rubbish and Emma didn't even try, but Nicky did a great cartwheel. Cruised home at 50mph on the A55. Spotted Helen jogging to the Menai Bridge so crossed it to shout 'hello', then drove down & around under the bridge to show the girls the view. I got out with the engine running to have a go at climbing the piers a little way, and Emma jumped in the driving seat and drove my car off! It was very funny - she'd stop, let me catch up (I was running after her) and then drive off just as I got there! All together a great day :)
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
20,March,2003
My sleep patterns have become shot to s***. Just as I was going to bed last night I idly flicked on the tv to check teletext the moment the first bombs fell on Iraq, and ended up watching ITV news until 5am. As a result, apart from short periods of wakefulness checking the news (looking in particular for the B-52s launching from Fairford) I slept through until 6pm! Just as the second wave of attacks started. I actually got up, quickly stuffed some food, water and milk down my throat and headed down for circuit training, only to find the place deserted... not sure what happened there! Anyway, now I feel like a pile of poo but will no doubt stay up far too late tonight following the progress of the war.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
19,March,2003
Been loosing a little sleep over Iraq, I will admit. I'm a very empathetic person - Concorde, TWA 800, 9/11, even the Estonia, nine years ago, all cut me up bad. Slept most of the morning, and ached like hell after the monster session at circuits last night. Tom thought it would be a good idea if we went outside for the warm up, and we ended up doing sprints up hill! The equivalent of a good intervals session for me. And then we did the circuits! Amusingly, circuits is becoming something of a dating agency. Last week Tom asked Bethany out, as this week another guy asked the girl I'd gone round with out in that usual, falterting crap-guy, style! It's funny, I didn't mind at all. It must be the Prozac!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
18,March,2003
Hopefully Saddam will just leave, probably at the last minute. But if he doesn't, noon Thursday is my bet for the bombers & tankers to launch from Fairford. Hopefully, they and the rest of the air attack only go for army command & control and Ba'ath buildings, and leave civillian stuff alone, and send in troops early to give the Iraqi army the chance to surrender rather than be killed by air attack. I desperately hope that happens.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
17,March,2003
Well, this is it. We are on the brink of war. I'm pro-ultimatum. I do not pretend otherwise. Yes, I went on the anti-war march, as I felt that an attack at that moment of time would be unjustified. But since then, Iraq has failed to co-operate fully. There is a lack of evidence to show he has no chemical or biological weapons. He has developed new ballitsic missiles and unmanned aerial vehicles specifically designed to deliver such weapons. It's clear he still has a weapons program of some description. Do not forget, unlike the US or other countries who have chemical weapons, Saddam has used his on numerous attacks on civilian populations in Iran and Iraq. France would've had us given Saddam forever to disarm. That wouldnt work, we all know that. It's over four months since 1441 gave him two months to comply. It would have been wonderful for the UN to have presented a strong, united front against Saddam. But that has failed to happen, so other countries feel they have to go it alone. The previous resolutions clearly give a basis for war, as shown by various attorney generals around the world. Let's have a look at numbers: Against a war: France Russia China Most of Africa For: US UK Most of Europe (including Spain Italy and all the new members) Australia Japan The worldwide consensus of opinion is clearly for giving Saddam one last chance. And that's what Bush has given him. What about the past? In the 1980s, Iran was a greater threat to the world than Iraq. So the west armed Saddam, rather than directly attack Iran, just as we armed Israel to defend itself against the Arabs (without such arms, there may well have been a second holocaust in Israel). In hindsight, it was the wrong thing to do. But it was the right thing at the time. We're still doing it now; re-arming Afghanistan to protect itself against the remains of the Taleban. And what about France and Russia? Iraq airforce is made up entirely of French (Dassualt) and Russian (Mig) aircraft. His army uses Russian small arms, tanks and vehicles, and Canadian-designed artillery pieces. His Baghdad bunker was built by a German company to a Yugoslavian design. Russia is the main investor in Iraqi oil. France and Russia have long-standing ties with Iraq, and their stance is no more than an attempt to preserve those links, and a desire to 'stand up' to Bush for their voters. Germany has been casting around for an international role for sometime, and as ties with France are renewed, it has chosen to side with them. All these countries could've chosen to support the draft resolution with the 'key-tests', to be completed before a dead-line, that would have ensured peaceful disarmament. Saddam clearly wants WMDs, and is developing them, and has a track-record of using them. He needs to be stopped, and the new resolution was the best way. But sadly it did not get the international support it needed, forcing the allies to go it alone. The only loser was the UN. As I said, I'm pro-ultimatum. War is not inevitable - if Saddam leaves, there will be no war. I agree with that position.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
17,March,2003
A very important day - Blair Bush and the Spainish premier met in the Azores yesterday, and today they go to the Security Council to press for a resolution for the last time. Today 'is it'. I'm deliberatley avoiding news until about 10pm - or 5pm in New York. By then, the situation should be much clearer. Bizzarely, I am continuing to vividly remember by dreams. I had a nightmare - very rare for me - last night. I dreamt that Helen was dying in hospital! I believe my brain cooked that up after watching 24 yesterday, where Paula, a nice character, died. The weather is, once again, amazing! Sitting out on Mount Stella in the sunshine was lovely.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
16,March,2003
The weather has been amazing the last few days. Hasn't stopped me being glued to the World Indoor Athletics Championship though. Great stuff. Went to Beth for an hour yesterday. On Friday I watched Comic Relief in its' entirety!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
14,March,2003
Spending today in front of the box watching the indoor athletics, followed by Red Nose Day. Will probably spend the weekend watching the athletics too!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
12,March,2003
Argh, just remembered - my very lazy neighbour left some bags of rubbish outside her room, right next to my door. There was something disgustingly smelly liquid in them, and it's seeped into the carpet just outside of my door. As the chaplaincy is really old, there's always a strong draft coming under my door, so now my room stinks! Tried pouring pine disinfectant and lots of hot water on the patch before I came. Hope that's cleared it, at least a bit.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
12,March,2003
Precis of the last few days... Um, attacked by hamster, which hurt like hell. I've had enough of constantly being bitten, so Ruth's got him at the moment. Not sure whether to get another one or not. A bikemagic.com member kindly posted me half a headset, which Mike's Bike's is fitting for a fiver. Top stuff! Film crew came to the Chaplaincy to interview the vicar of Llanfair PG when Mabel Leysham was murdered. Interesting to see the enormous amount of lighting, reflectors and other kit they used, but a shame about the circumstances. Photographed kit I'm trying to sell with Sandra's digital camera. Lovely sunny day, took piccies on Mount Stella. Very pleasant. Did a small anti-war protest outside BBC Bangor. Only about 30 people. Filmed a little bit though, but don't think it went out on the telly.The Rowing Club did a charity 'Row across the Channel and Back' thing tonight. I didn't row, but watched and supported. Raised over 50 for Comic Relief!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
12,March,2003
Did go to circuits, first time in a while. Was a little dull, but it picked up - some games and stuff! And the stretching was relaxing. Gave two girls a lift home, one of whol I like the look of. Annoying, that very night, she'd been asked out for a drink by Tom. Grrr. And they went to the Greek, the best pub in Bangor. Grrrrrrrrr! Oh well. Oh and Ulrika was voted out of Fame Acadamey. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Today, read lots of interesting sports science on an excellent website. Off to fit new brake pads now.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
11,March,2003
Last night I watched Buzzcocks/Shooting Stars, then jogged to the Fridd PC room. It was almost empty, except for - can you believe it - Sarah, and two new friends of hers. When they logged off I actually sneaked outside before they could see me - didn't want to be seen as some Billy No Mates! But then I felt ashamed - usually I never worry about what others think. So I went back in and stood - well, sat - my ground. Later on I watched Fame Academy - great! - and then let Sasha have a roll about in his ball. He was vey energetic last night! He had a good roll around in the chapel, before I put him back in his cage and went to be myself. I could hear him running on his wheel for ages! I'm very happy today - went to the little old Mike's Bikes shop in Upper Bangor, and managed to find a pair of cartridge brake pads to go with the Avids. Excellent! Had a hair cut too, and nice chat with the hairdresser.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
10,March,2003
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday... just trying to remember... Um, morning in bed, watched GP (suprisingly good!), walk to PC room, play with hamster, watch 24. A nice quiet 'recharge batteries' type weekend. And it was raining an awful lot outside. Today, well, weights session this morning, walked to Halfords and looked at bike brakes, came back via another bike shop where I bought a quality Avid Rim Wrangler pad set (but only one, still need something for the back, and it was ten quid, boo), bumped into Little Louise and chatted for a half hour or so, then went to PC room. Oh, the excitement!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
07,March,2003
Today's been a bit crap... didn't go to bed until past 4am (can't actually remember why), and didn't wake up until 10.20am. Went down to get some milk from the kitchen and ended up chatting to Will, Debbie and Emma for a while, and also stroked Sannai and was given some Christmas pud by Will (yummy!). It's been raining all day and it felt very cozy. I like rainy days... when it's sunny, you sort of feel under pressure to go out, but on days like this you can contentedly stay inside and potter about, or just watch the rain. But after breakfast at, er, midday, I feel asleep unti 4pm, then listened to Chris Moyles, ate some biscuits, and came here. Yay.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
05,March,2003
First, what happened last night. Only Helen, Carina Andy and I went, so I was worried I'd get bored(!). As it was the first how was a little boring, with me and Andy just wondering around looking at the pictures and things. There was absolutley *no-one* in the place - there was a public meeting on about the proposed marina development in Beaumaris that evening, so it wasn't suprising. After a while, we decided to round the local bars to try a get some custom. The management dropped the entry price to a fiver, which is much more reasonable. About a dozen people turned up after ten, and the night picked up then. Helen and Andy did some dancing, and, as ever, were very good. I had a nice chat with Carina on the sofa, and chatted to the manager a bit too.It isn't being the success they hoped, but it's early days yet. Today, I woke up at about 8am, had breakfast, felt sleepy so slept until noon! I'd vaguely heard the phone ringing and looking at noon saw it was Helen, and gave her a ring. She was on the train to Llandudno! She'd been by Impact this morning with the offer of some work at a conference at a hotel after the original model was taken ill, and naturally Helen jumped at the chance - just the break she's looking for, and so soon! Trust me to miss out! Well, I stopped thinking that way pretty quickly. I'm so lucky to know Helen anyway! It was a lovely day, so I decided to finally get out and ride the Marin Trail. It was great - tricky and tough. But rather long. I cut it short, and rang Helen to see if she wanted a lift home as I was near(ish) by. She did, but I had an hour spare. I found the proper start of the trail, and on the map board saw I'd missed some of the best single-track towards the end. I decided to ride up it (very difficult) and then ride it down again! Great fun, but when I reached the car, I saw I'd only 15mins to reach Helen now. Oops! Was 15mins late getting to her, and just as I reached the station (our arranged meeting point), a drunk woman collapsed in the road in front of my car. Well, I guessed she was drunk, but with my sense of smell couldn't tell! But Helen smelt it straight away. She only lived around the corner, so I drove her home. We spent a while wondering around Llandudno looking for a belt Helen had lost (belonging to Carina!), then I talked her into going to McDs. She only had a chicken sandwhich - she doesn't go there often at all. Driving home we had a light-hearted arguement about girls and boys and the attraction between them. Suspect that with her, much like with Hazel, sex appeal is the main thing. After a nice bath and a trip down the pc room to update The Horse's Mouth, I was having a nice hot chocolate when Ruth texted saying I'd had a tiff with Helen! I'd had nothing of the sort! I went round to Helen (as I'd planned) to give her her the PowerPoint posters of her, and give her hamster carry box. She answered the door with no trousers on and panty-liners hanging out (er, nice). I kept her company while she packed (she asked me to). All seemed fine! Hamsters were great to play with, though Poofus had eaten a Gap sweater and a 70 pair of jeans, though they can be 'fashionably' patched. Went round to Ruths after Helen went to bed (she has a test first thing tomorrow). Just not the same - hate to say it, but I simply much prefer the company of Helen. She's great! Going to miss her until she comes back next Wednesday.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
05,March,2003
Went to see Two Weeks Notice with Helen and Carina last night. Good film. Afterwards I let them use my bodyfat scales, which then made Helen (predictably) think she's fat, when she's anything but. However, on the way out of the Chaplaincy, we bumped into Said. Said made an off-the-cuff little speech that really put Helen's mind at rest, all about how she celebrate her plus points and not worry about her (non-existent) bad ones. Said was superb. I wish I could say stuff like that!! Earlier on I'd been accused of mixing up the baby hamsters, resulting in Rascal getting pregnant! But there's no way I did it. I was very careful to avoid just that, and I never even took Timothy (the other black one) out his cage! So I have no idea how they ended up mixed up. Otherwise, felt rather ill again yesterday, and slept for a lot of it. Again.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
03,March,2003
Had a bit o' fun yesterday afternoon. As I left the library I noticed it was five pm - just the time Helen finishes in the chippy in Beaumaris. I thought I'd drive over and suprise her - otherwise it takes her about an hour on the bus to get home. So I did. But I didn't know when she finishes or where exactly she works, but as Beaumaris is quite small I thought I'd give it a shot - well, it was a challenge! I parked opposite the bus stop on the main street. I didn't want to just sit there like a lemon, so I planned on waiting for only two songs on the Top 40. Just as the second song was ending, lo and behold, Helen appears! But she goes into the Spar shop. At this point I notice a Rolls-Royce parked in front, and a plan forms... Quickly parking the car round a corner, I run back and wait opposite the Spar, behind the Roller. The plan is to wait for Helen to come out, quickly run round the front of the Roller, sit on it and ask 'wanna a ride home?', a la the Toyota Corolla adverts. However, the local lads are all hanging around on their FS Saracens outside the Spar, and soon notice me. At one point I thik I see Helen paying at the counter, so I sit on the bonnet of the Rolls. Minutes tick by. Helen doesn't emerge. Soon, one of the lads rides over and starts trying to poke fun at me. However he is exceptionally dim so it's not much of a challenge to rebuff him. He asks my name. 'Bob', I reply. What a dumbass. He thinks I fancy the girl who works in the Spar! I go back to leaning on the wall after he buggers off. Then one their older mates putters across on his moped, and asks if I've a problem. After asking him to repeat several times because his helmet is muffling, I inform him 'no, not at all', which leaves him rather flummoxed. He leaves too. After a while, the boys get bored and ride off. Thank god for that. Anyway, I'm beginning to think the Spar has a second door I haven't spotted, so walk up a bit to see if I can spot Helen - she's reading the mags, naughty girl! Then it occurs to me that being a Sunday and all, the buses don't come very often and she's probably just killing time. I'd stil like to do my joke if I can though, so I crossed over to the bus stop. I can just read it without going in front of the Spar - next bus isn't for a half an hour! Then, because 'm so nice, I decide to creep on her inside the shop and make her jump. Just as I get to the entrance she turns round and come out. Cue me hidind behind a big column in the entrance, and walking round one side of it as Helen goes round the other! Then I creeep up to her at the bus stop - don't half make her jump! She's over the moon to see me! She's very tired - she worked at the chippy all Sunday and Saturday, then worked the bar in Verdis in the evening, so she's very glad of the lift. We agree to go running later. When I came round to go for a run an hour later, she'd fallen asleep! She's very determined though - she got up and got changed (with me in the room! - but I didn't see any more than what I saw lat Wednesday, so it's hardly a big deal). We had a long run - 45mins - and my knee was agonising for the second half. It's a real shame - I love running with Helen and she loves coming with me. The pain stops as soon as I stop running and today it barely hurts at all, so I'll just grin and bear it for now. Don't think I can keep it up for long though. In the evening I watched 24 - superb - then went to PC room using Sandra's card, and surfed for MP3 proggies. Today was a bit of a disaster - been very lazy. Spent the moring in bed fiddling around with CD rippers - few of them worked :(, but now I've got a good system to make MP3s with. Didn't even have breakfast until 11 - how lazy is that?? Napped and read (3001 - finished it) until about three, when I forced myself out of a kind of shame to get up. Went for a walk and saw the ponies in the field. Then cut the walk short after the ponies slobbered all over me to go home and clean it off :), then came down to the library, where I'm writing this (very long) entry.
1,104,980
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Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
02,March,2003
Disaster - Bikemagic is down! What will I surf aimlessly for hours now? Beautiful day weather-wise today. But the most exciting thing I did is buy a hamster cage and all the bits ready for me to have my own hammy! Came to 37 :( money I haven't got, but I want a hamster so much! Petsathome is such a cool store. Also got my laptop ripping ultra high quality MP3s - only takes a mere five hours per CD! - and printed out a lot of Helen's photo shoot on the colour printer. Looks good!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
01,March,2003
Today, I have mostly been, asleep. Apart from giving the incredibly cute hamsters back :( Got job application in on time yesterday. Fingers crossed. I feel I gave it my best shot.
1,104,980
male
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Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
19,April,2003
So many things have happened since I last posted! There was the Rumi magic concert, the chaplaincy bbq, and then this last week the picnic to the woods with the big rope swing and then our trip to Sea Zoo with Joanna, Gareth and Sandra, followed by that late night when it was hot. But now I'm home in Reading visiting my folks, and missing Sandra and Sasha my hamster like hell. I'm here for a few days, then I'm supposed to be going to Bournemouth to visit Ruth, before returning to Bangor on the 28th. But I desperately want to return to Bangor before then. I guess I have to go to Ruth's though, I've said I will and I've got some of her stuff, plus I'm giving her a lift back! Maybe I can get her to come back a little earlier though. Sandra leaves for Germany on June 6; so little time left. As it is, I hate it here in Reading, after Bangor it's big and scary. I'm afraid to go out the garden gate!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
04,April,2003
Bought a digital camera today! A Nikon Coolpix 2500, for just 150, from Currys. PC World nearly had me going all the way to Chester in search of the offer, until I remembered that PCW and Currys are part of the same company! Also been spring cleaning the last few days. Cleared & cleared the area outside my room, and burnt (cool fire!) the boxes in the corridor.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
21,June,2003
Filling in a few blanks Posted retrospectively, in June 2004... I actually had a really good time good time down in Bournemouth, and was sorry to leave. (Highlights including sleeping in a campervan on their drive, going bowling, a top walk along the coast a day-trip with the whole of Ruth's family to a grand mansion house!) Back in Bangor I never really saw that much of Sandra again. She went back to Germany in June (a long haul back - her parents came to pick her up in their campervan!). I remember taking Joanna to dinner to the pub on Anglesey opposite the pier, before going on to Penmon Point. A fablous evening. I gave Sasha to Joanne to look after as she loved him so much too. He died in the night of 16 December 2003, and is buried at the foot of Bangor Mountain. I miss the little fella. Around April 2004 I returned to Bangor for a few days staying with Ruth. The highlight of that trip was an evening with Joanna, again. We had a real heart-to-heart and with her input, came away knowing myself a lot better than I had before. (Other trip highlights include spending a whole afternoon just lazing in the sun on Roman Camp, a ride around Gwydyr, this time on my new suspension bike :)
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
25,June,2004
lol I'm going 24hr racing! There have been many teams wanting last-minute team-mates for urlLink SSMM , a 24hr mountain bike relay race. A bit last-minute, but I couldn't resist. The closer was that the team who asked me are from the same triathlon club that one of the girls on the personal trainer course is also in!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
24,June,2004
lol I'm going 24hr racing! There have been many teams wanting last-minute team-mates for urlLink SSMM , a 24hr mountain bike relay race. A bit last-minute, but I couldn't resist. The closer was that the team who asked me are from the same triathlon club that one of the girls on the personal trainer course is also in!
1,104,980
male
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Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
24,June,2004
Why can't people accept success? urlLink Someone's out to knock Lance Armstrong again , despite a total lack of evidence. Why do people feel compelled to do this? Are they jealous of success? What's the point of that. Lance was born with the gifts that he has - all of them, the physical abilities and the mental reserves he uses to tap those abilities. Pure luck. For all but a tiny number of people, there's always going to be someone faster, fitter, cleverer, more successful. Don't let that stop you from trying to Be All You Can Be (copyright US Army, lol), but don't let it turn into something as negative as the need to always to try to knock those better than you. Here endeth the Sermon ;)
1,104,980
male
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Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
23,June,2004
What is it with refs and umpires tonight? One made urlLink one of the worst mistakes I've ever seen , while another looked like he urlLink couldn't handle the pressure, disallowing a fine goal. With the England vs Portugal match, well, being honest, Portugal deserved the win, and they won even despite a dodgy decision. Good for them. However Sprem won with the assistance of the umpire's mistake. A shame; I feel she could've won fair and square. Venus, by the way, really didn't seem to mind the mistake, or the loss altogether. Her calmness is a remarkable feature - she can keep her cool under pressure like no other. But on the other hand, she now lacks any sign of drive - she still plays with great skill, but has no hunger to win.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
23,June,2004
Yay! Brake cable sets don't have outers long enough for disc brakes, do they? I didn't know that until five minutes ago. But I just cannabalised the outer from the Deore lever set and hoo-ray, powerful, reliable braking!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
23,June,2004
'ave it!! Yeah! Royal Fail were one day late but never mind, I now have new Avid disc brakes, 185mm front and rear! Terrific! Not being hydraulic means no pupmp-up, no fade and nothing to leak. They just work. Only got to fit them now - how hard can that be? Tell one thing though - I nearly fainted when I unwrapped the parcel. They came in a Hope Mini Mono box...
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
23,June,2004
6pm in June and we have to have the house lights on! On the otherhand, the garden needs it, the trails need damping down and hopefully now we won't have hosepipe bans later in the summer. Personally, I love Wimbledon when it urlLink rains . The BBC put some fascinating stuff on looking in and around the All England Club and its history to fill the time. However one day this will be a thing of the past, as urlLink Centre Court is to get a roof in 2009. I don't think I'll mind too much :)
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
22,June,2004
I complained about the BBC - and won Last September I saw a horrible news item (not in itself a problem), but I think the BBC mis-handled it badly. I felt strongly enough about it that I complained, to the BBC and also to the then Broadcasting Standards Commission. The BBC replied first; oddly enough, they dismissed my complaint :). However, Ofcom (the organisation the old BSC morphed into) urlLink disagreed and upheld my complaint ! Look for 'FINDING: BBC News, 2 September 2003, 22:00', near the bottom of the page. This shows that if you feel strongly enough about something - complain. People are listening and, if it's justified, are ready to support you. urlLink Complain to Ofcom urlLink Complain to the BBC
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
21,June,2004
Bleep Test Two Not far from me there's a short section of disused road in the countryside - about 30m long. Just right for doing a bleep test on, in fact :). I measured and chalked out a 20m course, then played the track I'd downloaded last week on my Minidisc. Last time, in London, I'd reached 10.8, but this time I only reached 9.7 before the first wave of nasuea. I'd also thought that my London result had been hampered by me chewing and ibuprofen ten minutes beforehand - leaving me feeling decidedly ill. Maybe it hadn't made that much difference after all. I can think of a few reasons why I didn't do so well this week - I totally forgot to warm-up first, instead just going with the test (which starts at a very easy pace), and also I can still 'feel it' after weight-training yesterday. But I think the main reason I didn't do so well is that in London it was a proper test, with Caroline and several others, I'd been waiting a day to do it, and basically there was a lot of adrenaline in my system. That makes a big difference. Today I rested until level ten started and then ran that, so I think I'll have had some training effect from doing it. It's hard on the body - acceleration, deceleration then a 180 degree turn; tough. I plan to do it at least twice more this week - then maybe I'll be able to pace Caroline next time we do it together ;). I think the key - at least for me - in this test is to resist the urge to be sick, and push on further. Challenging!
1,104,980
male
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Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
21,June,2004
Bye bye Forumulas - hello Avids I've had enough of those old Formulas. Hopefully Windwave will refund me rather than replace. Whatever, I'm not using them again! Instead, I've ordered a bargain set of urlLink Avid Mechanicals - widely acknowledged to be among the most effective and reliable disc brakes. I ordered them from urlLink Merlin , where my bike came from originally, in fact.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
21,June,2004
Into space - privately I've known about the urlLink X Prize for years but never quite believed it would happen - someone would fly into space in a craft developed entirely privately. But urlLink someone has . And they follow in the foot-steps of a urlLink long list of other such pioneers . Great stuff.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
20,June,2004
It's alright for some I found out from Windwave - when someone finally answered the phone after five minutes of ringing - that their mechanic is on holiday, so my brakes won't be looked at until next week. Arse. 'suppose I could go for a ride and just drag my feet to stop. Or put a stick in the wheel. Or maybe not.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
20,June,2004
Back t'gym Returned to Rivermead for the first time in five weeks today. Thank god, they've stopped playing MTV RnB (which just looped the same six songs over and over) for Q, which is mostly indie. Yay! Made it at 11.59am, which is handy as it costs 1.80 from noon onwards :) This is a different routine from my old 3x6 - quicker and, frankly, more enjoyable. Squats 100kg 6 (well I just had to check I could still do it - felt good too!), 90kg 8 Wide-grip pull-ups 6,4 Db bench 18kg 11 (oops) 20kg 8 Db shoulder press 14kg 8 Cleans 3x3 30kg (that's a lot of threes) Bent-over bbl rows 30kg 8 SLDLs * 60kg 8 A quick, effective whole-bod routine. I like :) *Not sure if I should mention it, but when hurriedly loading the barbell for SLDLs, I idiotically hung 30kg on one side then took all the weights on the other end off - of course the bar flipped up tw@tting me in the face. Lesson learned!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
20,June,2004
Zenith A few minutes ago the sun reached the highest point it will rise to in the sky in 2004. I absolutely nailed home from the gym so I could be back in time to watch it outside with my radio-controlled clock in hand! ...days getting shorter from now on... ...not long to winter... ;)
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
20,June,2004
d'oh 2 A friend from my cycling club mailed me telling me what a great ride they'd had last Saturday. This was because at the monthly club meeting the week before I'd made the case for making the Saturday ride shorter and more fun-orieentated. I'm glad they have, but gutted to have missed it. C'mon Windwave, fix my discs!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
20,June,2004
d'oh Noticed at breakfast this morning that Shredded Wheat are supporting the urlLink British Heart Foundation's Big Red Fightback (which strangely isn't mentioned anywhere on the BHF's website) by putting tokens on the back of their cereal packets, which if you send in will lead to Nestle giving the BHF a 1 donation per token. Good stuff. Unfortunately, there's also a the chance to win an instant prize with the packets - the chance to win a CAR, in fact...
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
20,June,2004
ow Just seen a replay on TV of urlLink Ashia Hansen tearing the tendons connecting her kneecap while triple jumping. As someone who's done something very similar I can concour that it HURTS LIKE ****! Oh dear We didn't do too well in the European Cup, the competition that Ashia was competing in when she was injured. The men's team were leading the competition after the first day but finished fourth after urlLink one of the 4x400m runners tripped over his own leg . Worse, the GB women's team have been relegated from the competition after finishing last, despite a few stellar performances including urlLink Paula Radcliffe's 5,000m win .
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
19,June,2004
Satellite Every so often I have a peek at urlLink this page , a weather satellite view of North East Africa, the Middle East and Southern Russia. All will be revealed ;)
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
19,June,2004
I'm now a gym instructor! This past Thursday we had our practical gym instructor assessments, where we each had to teach an hour-long gym session one-to-one. We'd already had a theory paper - on which I'd scored 97%. For my practical I trained my sister, who'd never been in a gym before! Other people had helpers ranging from the occasional user to a personal trainer with five years experience! Using a newbie worked for me though - it allowed me to show off my teaching skills and was an insight into how unfit some people can be - I had my sis using level 0 on the stationary bike at one point - I didn't know it went that low :) One thing I regret is how stressed I felt beforehand. I was in the second group to be assessed that morning so I chatted to the helper of another trainee while I was waiting. Towards the end of the hour she commented on how stressed I'd seemed first thing - talking nineteen-to-the-dozen - but I had calmed down a bit since. But I remember some other candidates - while maybe zoned - looking cool, and certainly not stressed. At uni - and since then - I'd become the same - calm and collected under stress. I will be again in future.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
18,June,2004
Always another way I burnt Caroline (the Russian) a CD of the bleep test that I urlLink downloaded from the internet (and added a few choice songs too afterwards :) ). She was overjoyed when I gave it to her. We're going to use it to do our own bleep test in the sports hall when we're next in!
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
17,June,2004
There is no spoon A Russian on the course and I did the bleep test together earlier this week, but we both messed up, I made only 10.8 (for various reasons) and she 8.3. If it had gone smoothly she's have easily have beaten me but she had drunk too much water beforehand. She was pretty upset afterwards, as she really wanted to do it properly (she's in amazing physical shape).
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
16,June,2004
Personal Training The course is held at the Central YMCA gym, just off Tottenham Court Road in London. The entire complex is underground housing a 25m pool, a 30m sports hall and lots of studios and classrooms. It's an amazing place and we have free run of it! I commute by bike and train - cycle to the station in Reading, train to Paddington, then up Oxford Street duelling with the buses and taxis to CYMCA. A lot of fun! Probably only seven miles of cycling a day though. I'd make it longer but the days are so long - leave at 7.30am and lucky to be back by 7.30pm! The course runs one week on, then one week off. Must be said, the off-weeks (when we don't go into London), are a little dull... We've a great bunch of people on the course though. Couldn't ask for better! There's some 18 of us, roughly 50/50 boys and girls.
1,104,980
male
23
Sports-Recreation
Sagittarius
16,June,2004
Time to say Hi again I've been thinking about it for a while, and now I'm going to re-start my ol' blog! First, I have to briefly bring you up to speed since my last post over a year ago. I stayed in Bangor job hunting until July 2003. I couldn't find a good job up there so eventually returned to Reading to work as a clerical assistant to the design department of urlLink JET . It was an easy job, but a bit boring and certainly not going anywhere, so I went to work for urlLink Momenta , working on an environmental issues helpline. Quite a good job and in the area I did my degree in, Environmental Science. But after a couple of months I was made redundant :(. I had a wee think about what I really wanted to do and re-visited an idea I'd first had a year ago, while still in Bangor - training to become a personal trainer. With the help from some peeps from a forum I discovered urlLink YMCAfit , and after a lot of thought started training with them mid-May and I'm now right in the thick of it! I should qualify sometime this autumn. Sporty wise I'm still happily mountain biking. I bought a cracking new bike last Autumn (which you can see on urlLink my photo pages ) that's given me a lot of fun. I've been getting into cross-country racing this spring - a big buzz! Right now though, it's off the road as I've had to send the disc brakes back for repairs :(
2,351,676
male
27
Communications-Media
Virgo
28,July,2004
Context is everything! A saucy joke at a party is great fun, evoking laughter, but when repeated at a funeral, will only evoke furrowed brows and thoughts of insensitivity. Sensitivity is required! A hearty 'good morning' to a cheerful person may elicit one in return, while a depressed person will probably either ignore you and your greeting. The point I want to make is that unless you understand the context of a particular situation and are sensitive to the feelings and circumstances that those people are in, a helpful comment can be viewed negatively, a by-the-way remark can be blown into an important statement, etc.. Maturity, balance and giving people the benefit of the doubt until they can be given time to explain are always required. Ultimately, all things will be tested by God who alone can render a perfect judgment because He knows all things and He knows the hearts and motives of all involved in any particular issue. But that will only be on the Day of Judgment which is yet future. How are we to proceed in our days? The answer for us now is to test all things by God’s plumbline, the Word of God, for the Scriptures are very clear with respect to what is truth (pure, unadulterated truth) and what is error (truth that is mixed with human philosophy, traditions, wisdom from below). Jacob Prasch has made many statements about Alpha and the Purpose Driven Life which need to be explained in the light of what God’s Word says about it. He lives in the UK, a nation that has already seen the effects of more than 10 years of Alpha and he speaks with first-hand knowledge of the things that have happened there. How then are we, in Singapore, to view his statements? Let me begin by setting the context for us. When the gospel first came to us in Singapore in the 1800s, it was already a 'liberal' gospel, in the sense that when the 'gospel' was presented, usually there was very little mention made of the need to carry your cross to follow Jesus, the need to die to self, the need to obey the Lord Jesus Christ plus the very real possibility of hostility and persecution by family members. Instead, what was held out was usually the promise of eternal life, healing, peace, mercy, grace... (which are all true and are all wonderful). However the problem arises when these things are held out as 'enticements' to 'accept Jesus'. Who could resist such a good offer? If I can have Jesus and heaven still continue to live any which way I want, why not? It’s always good to have an egg in every religious basket, another insurance ticket to a good life after death. Why not 'try' Jesus? as if He was like a product to be sold! Remember the 'I Found It' campaign several years ago. I myself came to 'faith' under such a gospel and it was only about 10 years later that I was brought to a realization that Matthew 7:21-23 was true of me. Previous to that, I was trained to evangelize, to ask people this very significant question: 'Where would you be if you were to die tonight ?' and to give a very significant answer: 'I don’t know about you, but I know where I will be...in heaven!' If I had died at any time before I truly came to faith in Christ in 1984, I would have ended up in hell instead! But God had mercy on me and brought me to Himself after a very traumatic and difficult time. It was only after I got involved in 1987 with Kay Arthur who wrote Precept Bible Studies that I began to understand what God meant by what He said. When Kay taught about the possibility of 'Christians' not being born again, it was a novel concept to me. I never knew that the Bible taught that, for I was taught or it was implied that whenever one prayed the 'Sinner’s Prayer', one is saved, and whenever I had doubts about my salvation, I would be 'reassured' of my salvation. When I asked how I could know I was born again, I was told that I would pray (I did that), I would do good works (I did that), I would give (ditto), I would serve the Lord (I did, in various ministries: Sunday School teacher, Youth leader, sang and lead in the choir, evangelized, etc.), that I would read the Bible (read it through at least once and read several Christian books though I didn’t understand much then). Conclusion: I must be born again! But... the niggling doubt would come back time and again during those 10 years. It was only after I was truly born again and had studied the Word of God inductively, and saw for myself what God had to say about this issue that I understood that I was never born again in those early ten years of my 'Christian' life. I thought, and, I’m sure, many of my church family thought, that I had backslided, then repented and was restored. The reality was I never was born again. The Scriptural evidence of a changed life that is patterned on our Lord’s was never there. Oh, I had changed, no doubt about that, but not enough. It was merely putting on different clothes, adopting a different behaviour that was acceptable to church people, more like reformation rather than genuine transformation from the inside out. I also learnt that a lot of the Bible teaches about HOW you can know that you’re truly born again and that one major emphasis, as expressed by 2 Peter 1:10, is to ensure that you know for yourself that you are truly God’s child, called and chosen by Him (see Matthew chapters 5-7, the whole books of James and First John, plus relevant portions in Paul’s Epistles and Peter’s, Scriptures concerning the New Covenant and many more). Some students tell me that they got born again in my Romans classes, although they have been in the church several years (I can only speak of those who told me, there may be more). Because of the awful reality of Matthew 7:21-23 where our dear Lord said, 'Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord’ ... and...I will declare to them, ‘Depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness’', I ensure that I always speak about this issue and give people Biblical ways of checking their own salvation every once in a while. All this just to bring you to the point where you may understand the next statement I make with maturity and understanding. Unless you have gone into God’s Word to know exactly what is the very gospel that our Lord Jesus and His apostles preached, anything that sounds like the 'gospel' that you came to faith in, would sound very biblical, wouldn’t it? By the way, I hope you know that you can only measure what is out there by what is in here, i.e., in your mind. If you don’t know, you don’t know. We’re not born with an instinctive understanding of truth, although all truly born-again believers are given the resident Truth teacher inside who will guide them into all truth (see John 14:26; 16:13; 1 John 2:20) and one thing we need to keep on doing, is to keep on putting truth into our heads and hearts! Living it out ensures that truth gets from our heads into our hearts! Line up whatever is said about the Gospel of Jesus Christ with what the Bible says about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and then make your judgment. The book of Romans would be one of the most excellent plumblines for the Gospel. How then are we to respond practically to the use of things like Alpha, the Purpose Driven Life, the Passion, various Bible Study materials, etc..? Scriptures are very clear that all believers are to submit to leadership, even to ungodly secular leadership (see Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-15). If that is so, how much more then should we submit to godly leadership in the church? I take my cue from the writer of Hebrews who never criticized the weak leadership there, but filled in the gap for them. Those leaders were strong on good works rather than on the Good Word, so...he wrote the wonderful letter of Hebrews to help settled the major problems in that congregation. Note: I’m sure you know that when leaders tell God’s people to sin against the Lord that that is the time when God’s people must take a stand against it (see for example, Acts 5:29). What if your leaders insist that you use these aids as a tool for evangelism? After all, so many unbelievers come and some have come to faith in Christ. The physical numbers are there, the tangible results are very evident right now. Your dilemma (for those who took Jacob’s words to heart) seems to be between choosing to go against God’s appointed authority structure, or offending your Lord? Obeying your leaders and injuring your conscience or taking a stand and hope to be understood? Is there a way out?My personal stance is this: I will always use the Bible. If my leaders decide to use things like those mentioned above, I will study and compare and see what’s missing that needs to be put in, and put those things in and take out that which is unbiblical. Frankly, it doesn’t matter to me what is being used, because anything that is used, if I’m to lead and teach it, I will always cause to conform to what the Bible says. I trust that in this way, I can both satisfy my leaders and my Lord, obey them and still maintain a good conscience before the Lord. If I’m not allowed to do so, then I must beg leave from them to not do something that my conscience is not clear about and trust that my leaders are godly enough to know that believers should never violate their conscience (see 1 Corinthians chapters 8 and 10), and they will graciously release me to do other things for the Lord that will build up His body.
2,351,676
male
27
Communications-Media
Virgo
20,July,2004
I believe the time is now that in Singapore, we are being exposed to another gospel, one that is subtle and dangerous; we are no longer safe within the church, where the gospel of Jesus Christ, is being diluted, compromised, and changed are being preached.   It remains clear that unless Christians today began to fall on their knees and intercede and turn back to God, back to the undiluted Word of God, the Churches in Singapore will be under judgement.   The formation of the gay church in Singapore has shocked the christian communities in Singapore, and even more shocking, christians are beginning to accept the fact. Where's the fear of God in the church, where's the moral standard in the church, that we have fallen so far short of. The body of Christ, Christians were suppose to be the standard of morality in the society but we have totally abandoned that primary mandate from God that we are called to be holy!   With disturbing reports of Moonies and their movements in the United States, with thousands of christian leaders paying homage to the false Christ, has painted the picture that Christ is no longer the head of the Church in the United States, instead, it is the leader of the Moonies, or the Pope, that defines the standard of our faith, with proclaimation of another Christ, ordaining gay ministers, and other evils that are explicitly stated in the bible, these will not enter the Kingdom of God, and sadly, many have gone after these false teachers.   In Singapore, I pray that the government will rise up to ensure that such destructive cults and homosexual churches will not take legal stand in our society, and the church will come back to the Word of God, and the gospel of Jesus Christ will be preached in order to take a stand against the Spiritual forces of evil, principalities and every fiery darts from the Devil.
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12,July,2004
The issue and place of homosexuality in Christian Faith is a growing concern in Singapore and around the world over the last 12 months. With the ordination of gay bishops in the place of authority of the church has become a major talking point and eventually it is a vital call that each christian will have to face and answer - Has Homosexuality any place in the Christian Faith? Having read an article from a church in Singapore that endorsed homosexual behaviours among the church members at Safehaven, (URL: http://www.oursafehaven.com/articles/gayandproud.htm), I cannot reconcile first, the sentiments of the aggrieved gay christian and the Word of God. In the article, the author lacks both circumstantial and evidentially support from the Word of God which should lead any discussion of the topic such as this, rather than an out of context isolated incident of a misled Christian or Christian group. Looking into the Word of God, homosexual behaviours are one of the abominations in God's eyes. Leviticus 20:13 Romans 1:24 - 32 1 Corintians 6:9 - 11 Article on Homosexuality from Bakers' Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology It is significant that the word 'homosexuality' did not enter the English vocabulary until the early twentieth century. The word, and with it the concept of lifelong primary sexual orientation toward members of one's own gender, was unacknowledged and probably unknown in the biblical world. Some today will therefore argue that what the Bible appears to condemn can be distinguished from homosexuality. They maintain that the homosexual orientation, to the extent that it develops in early childhood or even before birth, is not consciously chosen and is therefore not sinful. As long as this form of sexuality is expressed monogamously, it is argued, homosexual relations merely constitute an expansion of the biblical view of marriage. In order to assess the legitimacy of this approach, it is important to begin with an understanding of the view of same-gender sex in the ancient world. The Ancient World. Because there is so little evidence of same-gender sex before the New Testament period, our view of 'the ancient world' must focus more narrowly on the Greco-Roman period. Writings during this period demonstrate familiarity with sexual Acts between members of the same gender, but these were not understood to result from an 'orientation.' Sexuality was important in the ancient world only in terms of male progeniture. It appears that the rape of other males and the use of boys for sexual pleasure (pederasty) were performed as Acts of dominance, violence, or experimentation by otherwise heterosexual men. As a phase or as an occasional act, sex between males did not detract from male progeniture. In some circles, most notably those of the intellectual elite philosophers and poets, relationships between men and boys were lauded as the highest expression of romantic love. These relationships were not reciprocal, however. Males who were (willing or not) the receiving partners in these Acts, especially on a repeated basis, were socially outcast. Boys were bought as slaves and discarded when they reached puberty. Lesbians, who were by definition reducing the possibility of male progeniture, were scarcely mentioned but consistently condemned. Thus the modern supposition of a tolerant pagan society subsequently oppressed by Judeo-Christian taboos is a complete myth. It was, rather, a culture almost empty of regard for the sexual rights or desires of anyone but the small ruling class of men, who commonly exercised their almost limitless privilege at the expense of those young women and men in their power. The Old Testament. Into this world of ruthless sexuality came the biblical message of restraint, justice, and sexual complementarity, which was revolutionary in its implications. From the beginning it is acknowledged that humankind is created in two genders that together bear God's image (Gen 1:27) and together constitute a unity of flesh (Gen 2:24). The reaffirmation of these two notions in key New Testament passages on sexuality (Matt 19:1-12; 1 Cor 7:12-20) demonstrates the continuity and importance of sexual differentiation in the construction of a normative biblical sexuality. More simply put, humankind is created to find human completion only in the (marital) union of two sexes. While there may be legitimate conditions under which this union will not occur (e.g., celibacy), there are no conceivable conditions in which the union can occur fully without sexual differentiation. More specifically in terms of homosexuality, then, same-gender partners can at best pretend to effect a differentiation that is physiologically (and perhaps psychologically) impossible. Some theologians have suggested that to be created in the image of God according to Genesis means to be in social fellowship with other persons. Others deduce that homosexual relations are merely an expansion of the category of marriage under this rubric of fellowship; that is, intimacy and not biology is the appropriate measure of conformity to the Genesis marriage model. But apart from the debatability of this notion of the image of God in Genesis (dominion is the probable focus of the term), the definition of marriage cannot be limited to the meaning of the image of God. However important the social and spiritual aspects of marriage may be, the physical aspect is no less fundamental to its definition. Sexual differentiation (1:27) intends physical union, the becoming of one flesh (2:24). Because a homosexual relationship cannot produce a unity of sexually differentiated beings, there cannot be a marriage. Condemnations of sexual sin in the Old Testament focus on heterosexual Acts, but it is important to note that all sexual sin, including homosexuality, is prohibited in relation to the positive model of marriage presented in Genesis. Thus, while the Old Testament describes homosexual activity as intrinsically unjust or impure, these condemnations do not differ qualitatively from condemnations of heterosexual deviations from the marriage model. The first and most familiar Old Testament passage is the account of intended male rape at Sodom (Gen 19). References to the city later become common extrabiblical Jewish euphemisms for sexual perversion in general and homosexual practices in particular (in the New Testament, see 2 Peter 2:6-7; and Jude 7). Some modern revisionists point to the subsequent Jewish tradition condemning Sodom for inhospitality and argue that the passage does not have homosexual rape in view. In this view, when the Sodomites demand to 'know' Lot's visitors, they want to interrogate them, and Lot considers this breach of hospitality as so objectionable that he offers to distract the men with sex, offering his own daughters. The major obstacle to this interpretation is the Hebrew verb 'to know' (yada [[;d'y]), which, while not often used in a sexual sense, is used in just that sense in verse 8—only two verses after its occurrence expressing the desire of the men of Sodom. Clearly the Sodomites desired sexual relations with Lot's guests. The later references to inhospitality in relation to Sodom are not due to a misunderstanding of the sin of Sodom on the part of the Jews, but to their habit of speaking indirectly of sexual matters out of modesty. A parallel account of sexual violence occurs in Judges 19-20, where the men of Gibeah rape a man's concubine to the point of death in substitution for the man himself. There can be no doubt that this is fundamentally an act of violence, but the initial desire for the man coupled with the sacrifice of the concubine to avoid 'such a disgraceful thing' (19:24) suggests that same-gender sex, and not only inhospitality, is seen in a very negative light. More obscure reference to same-gender sex may be found in Genesis 9:20-27, where the statement that Ham 'saw his father's nakedness' may be a euphemism for rape. There may be a connection here to two additional references to sexual sins involving one's father (Lev 18:7; Deut 23:1), since Ham is the father of Canaan, the nation traditionally associated with same-gender sex and whose impure practices are condemned in detail in the context of these references. Explicit condemnation of same-gender sexual relations occurs in two Old Testament passages. Leviticus 18:22 reads, 'Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.' Leviticus 20:13 reads, 'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.' The wording here is ambiguous with regard to rape or manipulation versus mutual consent; instead, the focus is on the act itself as a mutual defilement. Modern revisionists often dismiss these strong passages on the grounds that they are part of the Old Testament purity code and therefore irrelevant to a gospel that frees believers from the constraints of Jewish cultural taboos. But the surrounding verses, which involve such concerns as care for the poor and respect of property show that it is impossible to make a simplistic distinction between purity laws and permanent moral principles. The reaffirmation of sexually differentiated marriage in the New Testament, as noted above, suggests that this levitical condemnation of the violation of differentiation retains its force throughout the entire biblical period. The New Testament Message of Liberation. Some revisionists maintain that the message of Jesus is fundamentally a message concerning the liberation of captives (Luke 4:18-19). These captives, it is argued, are to be understood not in individual terms as sinners, but in corporate terms as those who are forgotten or oppressed by the proud and powerful. In this view, the place to begin a truly Christian consideration of sexual ethics is not with Genesis and the legal code but with Exodus and freedom from law proclaimed by Jesus. The homosexual community, with its long history of persecution, naturally sees itself described in the Beatitudes and other offers of hope to the downtrodden. It sees analogies to modern 'heterosexism' in the historic subjugation of women and of blacks. There are, however, many problems with an approach that so simply makes biblical material a vehicle for experience. One objection is that the choice of one kind of sexual proclivity as 'oppressed' is arbitrary: there is no definitive reason to exclude pederasty or sadomasochism or adultery. Furthermore, the analogies to other modern liberation movements are dubious. In the case of slavery, for example, the biblical message is ambiguous; in the case of homosexual Acts, on the other hand, what little material we have is all decidedly negative. Finally, it is impossible to evaluate a behavior by means of its perception, as if disapproval by the majority automatically constitutes legitimacy on the part of a persecuted minority. At some point the behavior itself must be held up to a light other than the fire of its own passion. The light of revelation in the New Testament message offers liberation, but explicit in this offer is the provision of power to conform individuals to full humanity as God created it. In order to exercise responsibility in relation to such an offer it is essential for believers to take seriously both the construction of full humanity as the Scriptures describe it, and deviations from that full humanity as the Scriptures warn against them. The Gospels. There is no explicit reference to same-gender sex in the Gospels, but there may be an echo of a reference in Mark 9:42-10:12 (cf. Matt 5:27-32). A passage in the Talmud (b. Niddah 13b) links masturbation and pederasty together as violations of marriage, and in so doing makes reference to harming children, offending with the hand or the foot, and cutting off offending limbs rather than going down to the pit of destruction. These similarities of wording to the Gospel passages may suggest a common understanding in the first century that 'putting a stumbling block before one of these little ones' involved sexual sin against them. Paul's Epistles. Two brief references in Paul's letters, where same-gender sex is mentioned in lists of prohibited activities, are important especially for their link to the Old Testament. In 1 Corinthians 6:9 and 1 Timothy 1:10 arsenokoitai [ajrsenokoivth'] are condemned. The word, a compound of 'male' and 'coitus' or 'intercourse, ' does not occur prior to the New Testament. Some modern writers have attempted to narrow its meaning from homosexual Acts in general to male prostitution, solicitation of male prostitutes, or (coupled in 1 Cor 6:9; with malakoi, another obscure word possibly meaning 'the effeminate' ) the active partners in homosexual relationships. These suggestions, however, ignore the Greek Old Testament (LXX) versions of Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13, which use both arsenos [a [rjrJhn] and koiten [koivth], the latter passage placing them side-by-side; literally, 'whoever lies with a male, having intercourse (as with) a female.' This is the obvious source of the compound word. Perhaps Paul himself, who knew and used the Septuagint extensively, or some other Hellenistic Jew not long before Paul's time, derived from the passages in Leviticus a compound word that described homosexual Acts in general. This drawing in of Leviticus to Paul's letters is also significant in that it provides further demonstration that he perceived a moral and not merely purity-based prohibition of homosexual Acts in the Old Testament. Romans 1:26-27. The remaining passage appears to be an unequivocal condemnation of homosexuality. While many modern revisionists simply disagree with Paul or discount his proscription as applying only to prostitution or pederasty, some have attempted to reinterpret the passage as tacit approval of homosexuality. The argument is that Paul portrays homosexual Acts as impure but carefully avoids the language of sin; he intends merely to distinguish a Gentile practice considered by Jews to be 'unclean' in order to draw Jews (or 'weaker brethren') into his subsequent explanation of the gospel. Careful investigation of the passage, however, shows this explanation to be untenable. Paul's general purpose in the context (Rom 1:18-32) is to show the need for the gospel in the Gentile world. As a result of idolatry, God 'gave them over' to all kinds of sinful behavior. The trifold structure of the passage is a rhetorical device to drive home the point: a general complaint (vv. 24-25), consideration of a specific vice (vv. 26-27), and a culminating list of various vices (vv. 28-32). The distinction between the second and third sections may follow another Greek-styled distinction of sins of passion and sins of the unfit mind. Paul is accused of everything from extreme prejudice to repressed homosexual urges for choosing same-gender sex as his focus in verses 26-27. But the scarcity of other references and the use of impersonal, rhetorical language here suggests, on the contrary, considerable detachment. The choice of homosexuality in particular is due to Paul's need to find a visible sign of humankind's fundamental rejection of God's creation at the very core of personhood. The numerous allusions to the creation account in the passage suggest that creation theology was foremost in Paul's mind in forming the passage. Paul's terminology in the passage clearly denotes sin and not mere ritual impurity. The context is introduced by the threat of wrath against 'godlessness and wickedness' (v. 18). Those in view in verses 26-27 have been given over to 'passions, ' a word group that elsewhere in Romans and consistently in Paul's writings connotes sin. Words like 'impurity' (v. 24) and 'indecent' (v. 27; cf. 'degrading, ' v. 24) had in Paul's time extended their meaning beyond ritual purity to moral and especially sexual wrongdoing. To do that which is 'unnatural' (vv. 26-27) or 'contrary to nature' was common parlance in contemporary literature for sexual perversion and especially homosexual Acts. Paul uses several expressions here that are more typical of Gentile moral writers not because he is attempting to soften his condemnation but because he wishes to find words peculiarly suited to expose the sinfulness of the Gentile world in its own terms. The substance of Paul's proscription of homosexuality is significant in several respects. First, he mentions lesbian relations first and links lesbianism to male homosexuality. This is unusual if not unique in the ancient world, and it demonstrates that Paul's concern is less with progeniture than with rebellion against sexual differentiation or full created personhood. Second, Paul speaks in terms of mutual consent (e.g., 'inflamed with lust for one another, ' v. 27), effectively including Acts other than rape and pederasty in the prohibition. Third, the passage describes corporate as well as individual rebellion, a fact that may have implications for modern discussions of 'orientation.' In other words, although Paul does not address the question here directly, it is reasonable to suppose that he would consign the orientation toward homosexual Acts to the same category as heterosexual orientation toward adultery or fornication. The 'natural' or 'fleshly' proclivity is a specific byproduct of the corporate human rebellion and in no way justifies itself or the activity following from that proclivity. On the basis of any of these three implications, it is legitimate to use the word 'homosexuality' as it is conceived in the modern world when speaking of Romans 1 and, by cautious extension, when speaking of the related biblical passages. Responses to Paul's Proscription. The discussion does not end with the conclusion that Paul condemns homosexuality. Some argue that a modern understanding of 'natural' differs from Paul's and requires that we absolve those who discover rather than choose a homosexual orientation. These, it is argued, should be seen as victims, or simply different, and our definition of allowable sexual activity expanded accordingly. The major problem with this response is that it shifts the meaning of 'natural' from Paul's notion of 'that which is in accord with creation' to the popular notion of 'that which one has a desire to do.' But deeply ingrained anger does not justify murder, nor does deeply ingrained greed justify theft or materialism, nor does the deeply ingrained desire of many heterosexuals for multiple partners justify promiscuity. Desire in all of these areas, chosen or not, must come under the reign of Christ. The action in question must be considered not in terms of its source in the person but in light of the relevant biblical principles. These principles often involve denial of deeply ingrained desires, for the heterosexual who desires multiple partners no less than for the homosexual who laments the option of celibacy. There is considerable evidence that a homosexual orientation, and certainly the occasional homosexual experience, does not indicate a permanent state but an immature stage of sexuality that may be 'fixed' at some point by physiological, psychological, or social factors, and by the individual will, all acting in combination. This has theological significance because it implies that movement toward completion or maturity will involve movement toward obedience to the biblical model. One need not conclude, then, that the homosexual orientation is an indication either of God's approval of the orientation or that the orientation is God's 'curse' of the individual. It is, rather, a challenge to growth in discipleship, more or less difficult depending on individual circumstances, but accompanied by the promise of grace equal to those circumstances (Rom 5:19-21; 1 Cor 10:13; 2 Col 12:9). Yet, as should why the Christian Church today on the whole struggles with this problem and remain divided. The gay christians argued very much on the fact that the church today should adopt an understanding stance on christians who struggled with their sexual orientation and with the new law set by Christ's death on the Cross, and the covenant of Grace, it focused more on what's inside than what's on the outside. That in my point of view, a very limited understanding on the christian precepts and doctrines that the church today are entrusted with. The Word of God takes precedence and should remain the only authoritative on this subject or as a matter of fact, on any subjects. The Word of God is plainly clear on this subject of homosexuality, but christians should always remember, that it is not an excuse to being a homophobic. This is to say, we cannot tolerate homosexual behaviours among the christian believers but to extend the invitation as God has to us, to repent and come to the saving grace and the knowledge of Jesus Christ.
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21,June,2004
Monday, the herald to the start of another new week, is undeniably stamping its negativism on the mood of the people in the office. Shrugging off the weekend nostalgia, I just need to re-adjust myself back to work and concentrate on this coming week which may be a tough one.
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30,July,2004
Brain Lateralization Test Results Right Brain (48%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (48%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain urlLink Are You Right or Left Brained? urlLink personality tests by similarminds.com  
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Virgo
29,July,2004
It was quite a good day to end off the less than usual boring day. At least we have the funny ESS idols, never knew so many good singers and guitarists we have in the company. Well, good that i didn't join in or else it will be catastrophic! Had a cake and i feel like puking! The cream and chocolate... i think it was 'Black Forest' or something like that. Now i feel sick. damn~
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Virgo
29,July,2004
I feel so lazy today, feel like just a sloth. Was in bed and not wanting to wake up for work, it was so comfortable and feel that my body just protest every attempts to make my muscles work! After a tough struggle, finally pushed myself up and went to wash up. Vodka is again, trying to impress some girls, they are my neighbour's daughters. Three of them were so fascinated with Vodka, and were playing with him. Well, took a cab to work, so i won't be so late, and well here I am. Sitting here, waiting for things to happen, and this feeling simply sucks, if you ask me. O well, let's see how the day will go, and time for my coffee break!
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Virgo
29,July,2004
urlLink urlLink  Chillicrap forum gathering at Orchard Kopitiam, it was a good time chatting and getting to know the people there.
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Virgo
29,July,2004
Let's rewind - 2 cups of Coffee (rather bitter, but O well, it is free), 4 cups of Teh Talek (super duper sweet), and a dinner at the food court in Toa Payoh HDB Hub (trust me, it tastes horrible). Changed my second hand phone to another one, though it is not something i would like, but it works, so far, so good. Work's slow especially off-season time, think it will pick up when English Premier League starts in 2 weeks time! howdy, i can't wait and see my favourite team urlLink Liverpool in action! Oh yes, i haven't got the chance to read my bible and pray.. must do so later before going down to the forum gathering at Orchard Kopitiam.
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Virgo
28,July,2004
I have changed it to urlLink Nokia 2100 ! Not a bad phone as per say, but i still prefer the silvery alluminium style 8850. Just too bad that phone is really faulty. Paid additional $15 for this including the upgrade and the extra brand new cover. The guy at the store was so paiseh (English: embarrassed), that he gave me a free cover for the phone, so now, the phone looks pretty spanking new. Well, it works, and it is good enough, yea! Another happy worm today...
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28,July,2004
urlLink Bill Frisell Playing the guitar on 'Somewhere over the Rainbow', it is one of the nicest jazz version of the song that we all know. This song is featured in the show ' urlLink Finding Forrester ' which is one of my favourite movies of all time!
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Virgo
28,July,2004
The morning is quite brilliant well, except for the faulty new 'second-hand' phone. Took a bus, and surprisingly, it was a rather pleasant experience. I am seriously thinking about doing the photojournal of the place where i live - Hougang. Oh yes! Meeting the forum people in town today, well, at least i am getting myself to get to know people again after the voluntary seclusion i put myself in. Maybe hope to get to know some friends that will remain as good friends henceforth. But that remains much to be seen for now. Oh yes! I remember, need to get the Anti Virus Software from Moi! heh.
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Virgo
28,July,2004
Now my new 'second-hand' Nokia 8850 doesn't even accept calls from other people! That's just simply brilliant. Now I've got to go down again to get it fixed, i think i will either ask for a refund or change to another phone. Sigh~ this is getting abit frustrating.
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28,July,2004
urlLink A picture taken in India. The little kid is salvaging food along some really old shophouses. Took a tour of the local slum in Bangalore, one of the richest city, and most advanced in India, people living in their makeshift tent, doing their sanitary outside their tent where they sleep, and make their food. These kids haven't got enough to eat everyday, and they have to work peddling rotten bananas and crackers on the dirt track where tourists will just take pictures of them. My heart goes out to these people, and pain from the fact that these people need God so much!   urlLink
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28,July,2004
urlLink I took this while I was touring europe some years back with my Nikon SLR, this swan is swimming among thousands of Jellyfish or Jellyfishes. This nice looking swan seems oblivious to the 'dangers' around her. Oh yes, this is in Sonderborg, Denmark. This town is exactly what I want to live in, quiet, peaceful, simple lifestyle, no noise, clean, and beautiful place.   urlLink
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28,July,2004
urlLink One of my favourite photos I have ever taken. This place is at Island Rawa off Mersing.   urlLink
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28,July,2004
urlLink   urlLink   My new 'second-hand' Nokia 8850   Was a spur of the moment decision to buy this phone actually, since i am looking for one as i have 2 sim cards, which one i can use on my xda for data, i am hoping to get one for phone. So in hope to lower the cost of my phone bills. Got it at Toa Payoh, it looks ok, until i was fiddling with it in the cab, the backcover was loose. I was abit mad, until i got home, i found that the reception is having problems, and the calls kept dropping. At this time, i got real mad, and i went back to the shop, spent another 10 bucks, and got them to look at it. It was strangely, working fine when i was on my way back to the shop, and when they looked at it, i got a feeling that they might be wondering what's with this sucker with a second hand phone and complaining, afterall, it is only $120. They got it fixed, tested it out, having some minor problems with the antenna and well, i went off a less than satisfied customer. Then on the way back, the problem came back. I called them from home that i will need them to repair it or get a refund, they are pretty ok with that, so i am dropping down to Toa Payoh tomorrow lunch time. What a bloody waste of time and money! Yes, i am pissed off.  
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Virgo
28,July,2004
This is so my next movie i am going to catch!!! A dream movie for the rugged guys! Yes!!!
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Virgo
27,July,2004
yes, spent 20 mins in the toilet just now, and now my tummy hurts like as if it has been vaccuumed! Should i go and see the doc and get the rest of the day off? Maybe not, will just hang out in office as my cubicle is rather near to the toilet. heh. Thought of taking a picture of the toilet bowl, but i decided not to, because it doesn't go with the blog's colour scheme.
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27,July,2004
Things to do and which I have been procastinating for a long time now, and which i need to get to do it soon... half year resolutions perhaps? - Photojournal of a day in my life (Singapore, & Hougang) - Doing up my website at urlLink stickymonster.net - Planning for a backpack trip to Indochina (Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia) - Picking up practising on my guitar. - Saving money to buy several items - Digital SLR, and an electric guitar ( urlLink Gibson ) - Finish paying off my loan - Complete my urlLink bible study on Hebrews - Get a trip up to KL for the weekend - Going off on a beach resort with Simone - Meeting up with 'old' friends more regularly - Starting on my diet (i am getting fat, and erratic stomach upsets due to me being lactose intolerant)
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27,July,2004
Yes, feeling abit frustrated when all the emails seems to be hit by some unknown virus and basically, all the emails are not working, work mail, urlLink spymac email, and others!! Now thinking back, are we all slave to the technologies?! Yes, we are definitely. I worked on my laptop, desktop, my urlLink XDA (which is a pda and phone), urlLink ipod , and the use of my digital camera everyday and almost every minutes of my life except when the time for me to sleep of course.  
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27,July,2004
It is quite exasperating committing to a friendship where the truest intention is being questioned. I come to a shocking but a tragic conclusion that i am living in the dream world where true friendship exists. When one offers friendship, it is often accepted with the best of intentions in suspicions. That is a lesson learnt today. Another lesson learnt, that life is all about giving, to God and to each other; when i go through life each day, without even giving the best to what i am doing, and exhibiting what christians should do, offering their selfless sacrifice, one has not live truly and has at least failed God. 'God has demonstrated his love in this, While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us' Romans 5:8 This is one of my most quoted verse of the bible to my students in Sunday School, or rather ex students, whom i have fondly remembered and my prayers that they will grow up to be strong in the Lord, one who will put God first in everything they do. All we can do, or rather all I can do, is show people Jesus, and i admit, i have no good testimony, i give up teaching, i disgrace God's name in so many times, and i am grateful that in his Grace and mercy, he forgives whenever i repent. (Another big topic to talk about - repentance ). O well, time to get to bed and take my medication... my heart hurts, and need to remind myself to get the medication again from the clinic...... it sucks to be so poor in health.
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27,July,2004
urlLink urlLink   Gibbon's The history of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire   This is one of those most read, and definitely rated one of the top 10 books to read if you are serious about history and especially in the history of Europe, Roman Empire and last but not least, Church History. Struggled through Vol 1 so i decided to get the Abridged edition instead, was pretty much readable and have learnt alot about Roman Empire and how they have influenced much of the way of life we have today like the Army, the government and the legal system. I think one of the main reasons why i am reading this, is having an accompaniment to my reading and study of the Church history, it is almost impossible to study that without understand the political situation where its political life is closely entwined with the church and the development of the church. It is a lovely book, handy, and paperbacks, and maybe a good thing to read to get myself to sleep? Who knows.... this is one tough book to chew on.
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27,July,2004
urlLink urlLink   i, Robot was quite above the average movies so far... at least alot better than what Simone would say, 'Honeys' another no brainer, cheesy show about hip pop dancers. Well so far, i agree, at least the original story by Isaac Asimov and think i got the wrong spelling, is good. But not as philosophical or deep as A.I by Kubrick has been. The scripts for the show is average and i think the producer made the audience looks stupid by the long explanation of the plot at the end, but i thought it was rather sloopy. Nevertheless, it was a good action movie, not the usual no brainer fight, explosion and fight where the good guys won. In this show, the story has a good twist to it. Furthermore i think this will be a good DVD to add to my collection later on. Nice job, but hey, at least i've got Simone out for the show, and she was complaining, well i owe her one artsy movies like the Return. (Prepare lots of coffee before the show otherwise they will have snores added to the long cheesy artsy conversation in the show). 
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Communications-Media
Virgo
27,July,2004
urlLink I found this damn cute characters urlLink Hoops and Yoyo from Hallmark!!! Trying to download their super duper cool screensaver, desktop shouts!!! ah! CUTE! Check them out yea?
2,351,676
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Communications-Media
Virgo
26,July,2004
Starbucks Coffee 'Espresso Roast' Desperately need this now.... the Zee Monster is closing in all around me and i can feel its claws on my heavy eyes! Heeeelllpppppp! This has hmmmph, caramel! Yum, i wonder who ever created caramel, yes yes, besides God, and i meant who discover this sweet enticing substance o what a treat to the tongue :P~  
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26,July,2004
The Marsh Arabs of Iraq - made famous by travel writer Wilfred Thesiger, who died this week - saw their ancient way of life destroyed by Saddam Hussein. But now the dictator is gone, doubts have arisen that the former marsh dwellers even want to go back to the rushes.  British adventurer Wilfred Thesiger said that even as a boy he 'recognised that motor transport and aeroplanes must increasingly shrink the world and irrevocably destroy its fascinating diversity'. The late author could never have imagined the role the internal combustion engine would play in the destruction of the Ma'adan - the Iraqi Marsh Arabs of the reed beds fed by the Tigris and Euphrates with whom Thesiger lived in the 1950s and about whom he wrote a hugely successful book in 1964. Living in what some consider the region to have been the Biblical garden of Eden, the Ma'adan's simple way of life dating back 5,000 years which Thesiger had a 'longing to share', was deliberately and ruthlessly extinguished by Saddam Hussein in less than a decade. Thesiger said the marshes he knew in Iraq's south-east corner had 'the stillness of a world that never knew an engine' - but in the 1990s this calm was ripped by mechanical earthmovers and attack aircraft.  The draining of these lands for irrigation projects elsewhere had been planned by the British rulers of Iraq long before Saddam's rise to power, and some dams had already gone up to aid Iraqi troop movements during the war with neighbouring Iran. But the onslaught of the 1990s had nothing to do with diverting the area's watery lifeblood to benefit other Iraqis. The Sunni Muslim Saddam was punishing the Shia Marsh Arabs for their temerity to rise up against him in the aftermath of the first Gulf War. Dykes and dams blocked the flow of water, drying up perhaps 90% of the wetlands which had once occupied around 20,000 square kilometres of southern Iraq. These sun-baked soils were then churned up by bulldozers. Those Marsh Arabs not compelled to flee by the loss of the fish, reeds and water buffalo on which their livelihoods depended were subjected to 'heavy artillery, fire bombs and even strafing', according to a 1992 United Nations report.  An estimated 200,000 people fled or were driven from their ancestral homes - some across the border to camps in Iran, others into Iraq's towns, where they faced continued hardships and discrimination. And yet still the desiccated marshes remained a centre of grim armed resistance to the Ba'ath party regime. Iraqi guerrilla fighter Abu Hattem - a man who locally won legendary status to rival Robin Hood - waged what he has since called 'The War of the Fleas' against Saddam's superior forces across the salty wastes of the once fertile marshes. The thousand or so Marsh Arabs who rallied to his cause are credited with inflicting some humiliating defeats on the Iraqi army and, during the recent US-led war, even liberated nearby towns days before invading Coalition forces swept up from neighbouring Kuwait.  Though they acted as his refuge for more than 10 years, what does Abu Hattem want for marshes now? 'This period of our lives in the marshes is over,' he recently told reporters. 'The marshes will not be part of our new agenda.' The parched lands are slowly being flooded once again - with Saddam's regime unwittingly setting the ball rolling in its dying days by accidentally blowing up a dam while trying to destroy roads that the British might use in their attack on Iraq's second city, Basra. Baroness Emma Nicholson, founder of the London-based charity Assisting Marsh Arabs and Refugees (Amar), says this breached dam is one of five new sources of water routed in to help rejuvenate the marshes since the British occupied the area. Fish and reeds (from which the Ma'adan fashion their distinctive buildings) are already returning, she says. However, some reporters and aid workers in southern Iraq have cast doubts about the eagerness of some Ma'adan to resume their old ways, particularly those Marsh Arabs who have found life closer to town to their liking.  '[They] have tasted the modern world and they don't want to let go of it,' said one Basra representative of the International Organisation for Migration. But Baroness Nicholson, a regular visitor to the region, says the desire to return to fishing and water buffalo farming remains strong in the majority of cases. 'Not everyone wants to be a farmer or fisherman - and we will help those who do not. But not even Saddam could break the will and spirit of the Marsh Arabs. That is way he had to continually fight them.' A recent census seems to support this view of Ma'adan stubbornness. Some 85,000 people are still thought to dwell in the marshes despite their sorry state - more than twice the number previously thought. Baroness Nicholson is sure many more will flock back as Amar pushes to improve health care and schooling in the marshes - something Saddam also starved the region of. The situation is 'complex', she admits. An understatement, perhaps. Firstly, the UN already says it is being careful not to show the Ma'adan preferential treatment for fear of stoking local resentment against the Marsh Arabs. And secondly, not all the dams restricting water supply to the wetlands were built by Saddam - Turkey and Syria take water from the rivers which could feed the marshes again. Also, doubts remain that all of the marshes can be successfully flooded, particularly since the UN that estimated prior to Saddam's fall he had pushed the ecosystem to the very brink of collapse. Baroness Nicholson is undaunted. 'What one man can do, another man can undo.' urlLink From BBC
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26,July,2004
After having trouble sleeping, the morning has been astonishly good. Had a good bath, although the walk to the bus stop and to work has been very uncomfortable with the humidity and the heat, it is still a good start to the day. In all cases, i missed out taking some shots of this nice path that i walk past every morning, it is nice, with the low hanging of the trees that shelter the pathway, and in certain season of the year, it's fragrance of the blossoming of the flowers fill the pathway, making every walk as though it is through an enchanted forest. Enchanted or not, it is sure a pleasant experience. Till later, damn, i am still having some stomachache. Time to get medicated.
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Virgo
26,July,2004
I wrote this in my previous blog before, but now, taking 15 mins to chase back those times past, i can't help but feel aggrieved that so much has come and gone and the many friendships, be it, superficial or deep, have all, but disappeared and has left behind half empty heart that will stay with me till the day I give an account to God. Can friendship last? The very question that every young kids will ask, well at least i did ask myself that, I don't know. Till today, i am still trying to figure out that. Seriously, simone once said, i was so different, she has lots of friends and she can't go on in life without friends, and i am the exact opposites, i survive without friends, has been without for a long time, maybe that's bad, i do not know, but at least i can avoid disappointing people or get disappointed. Think sometimes, i really do hope there is a group of friends, or rather a few, that i can be totally comfortable with. I do not think i have that group and it hurts to think i have no friends, or no one really count me as a friend. Hey! Is this friendship thing carried too far off now? Hmmm, am i being overwhelmed by the all good good friendship how i miss it thing? Manz! I miss those times spent in church, in the basketball court, at macdonalds playing chess pooling together coins to get a packet of fries, playing hide and seek underground at the basement, all the youth camps i've been on, all the fun times at sunday school outings, the camp at sembawang, the 10 years or so friendship where we see each other from primary school, to secondary school to tertiary education and some now, married, others have passed on to meet God. Maybe it is true, i am really not worth a friend to have; and i pray that even in this lonely walk, i can explain to simone how i really feel at times, except that she doesn't really understand what i am going through. Somethings are just meant to be taken and kept inside... and those will stay there.
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26,July,2004
Today has been a rather fruitful day, finishing half of the project at work and finding faithfulness in God's providence and last but not least, have had a good time with Simone. We had a good time watching a DVD and watching MTV figuring out all the hip pops on the TV. Although I had a bad stomachache, i totally enjoyed the night. Simone has been very nice, especially all her smiles and laughters, and even though she had quite a shitty day at home, she never fails me to impress me with her well of happiness that's deep in her, that she has yet to realise that unless she finds the well of joy and gladness from God, it will run out and the emptiness of depression will soon follows. All my heart now pray that she will learn how to put God first, and it is only in the refuge of God's immerse grace and mercy that she will finally place her total trust in, that no one can hurt her anymore, that she will not suffer her parents.  
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26,July,2004
From urlLink Vincent Goh I am thankful. I am thankful I can walk There are those who have never taken their first step I am thankful I can see the beauty all around me There are those whose world is always dark I am thankful I can hear music playing, There are those who entire life has been spent in silence I am thankful my heart can be broken, There are those who are so hardened they cannot be touched. I am thankful I can move about freely and express my beliefs, There are those who live in constant fear. I am thankful I have been loved, There are those for whom no one has ever cared. I am thankful I can work There are those who have to depend on others for even their most basic needs I am thankful to wake up in the morning and take a deep breath of fresh air. There are those who never got that far I am thankful for the opportunity to help others There are those who have not been so abundantly bessed as I
2,351,676
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25,July,2004
Yes, rather excited about it. For those who wants more information, click urlLink here and find out more. Tickets are going at $8 per person and it is worth it. Oh yes, my friend, Chia Jenn Hui will be performing, i think, on the drum, his band is call 'Claire's flower shop' or something like that. So do keep a look out. Will post the experience here after this Saturday! To those who loves God, keep the good fight and continue to press on!
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Communications-Media
Virgo
25,July,2004
A nice lunch with compliments from Kui, our new senior manager in the department. Well yes, a pinch of sour grapes, but now regretting those irky yellow greenish monster feelings i felt, and yes, i should be happy for the achievements other people has. Such, is what a Christian suppose to do, not festering ill envies and jealousy. In an attempt to appear repented, i happily indulged myself in the gorgeous nice food at PaoSin, a peranakan restaurant at the gardens. Most important of all, yes, it is free. Such bliss. Now back in office, God reminded me of something in the bible. Let me turn to it.... ok, i can't find it, but i vaguely remember, be happy for others when they are doing good. That, is a light rebuke from God for what i was feeling, but thank God for them. And yes, think i am so out of touch with God's words, my bible's turning mouldy and time for me to get back and dig at it daily, and renew my love for God's words. Aidios!
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25,July,2004
The central theme of the continuous struggle in my christian walk this week will again be on the subject of holiness. Faced with some conflicting theological differences in one of the discussions with a friend from another church, that i cannot help but notice that there is a general misconception on the subject of holiness and a christian's role and duties to living a life that's set apart for God. I read 1 Peter 1:13 to 2:4 today Therefore, prepare your minds for action, be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do, for it is written, 'Be holy, because I am holy.' Since you call on a Father who judges each man's wrk impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through Him you believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God. Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring Word of God. For all men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall but the Word of the Lord stands forever.' And this is the word that was preached to you. Therefore, rid of yourselves of all malice, and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.    
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25,July,2004
Oh refuge of my hardened heart oh fast pursuing lover come as angels dance around your throne my life by captured fare you own Not sillouette of trodden faith nor death shall not my steps be guide i'll pirouette upon my grave for in your path i'll run and hide Oh gaze of love so melt my pride that i may be in your house but kneel and in my brokenness to cry spring worship unto thee When beauty breaks the spell of pain the bludgeoned heart shall burst in vain but not when love be pointed king and truth shall thee forever reign Sweet Jesus carry me away from cold of night and dust of day in ragged hour or salt worn eye be my desire, my well spring life.
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Virgo
25,July,2004
urlLink Vodka doing the close ups   urlLink Vodka is doing his usual pop ups to your face thing again. Was about to go out and he is so 'manja', looking at him everyday just assures me of who i really am, someone that this little furry can trust and have faith in, and reflects on how i relate to God. I think having a dog is a good thing, it teaches me lots of life's valuable lessons, and it kind of calms me and i just want to spend time with him and play with him, i am happy when he is happy, but when i am sad, he will just lie down beside me and lick my legs. *Yes i told him not to lick legs, cos it is dirty. O well, he is well asleep outside now, on his nice yellow pawprint bed.  
2,351,676
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25,July,2004
urlLink Buddha stature marking the influence of Buddhism on South Asia.   urlLink
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Virgo
25,July,2004
It was one of the nicest weekends I have spent with someone really super duper special, even thought it was one of the seemingly boring thing to do, visiting museums. But it is not the place or things, but the companionship right? Think Simone is the most beautiful and sweetest girl around We went to Asian Civillisation Museum and spent the entire afternoon there, and frankly, it was an unforgetable afternoon, looking at the different cultures and spending time together. Then we went to enjoy a cuppa Hot Chocolate and some nice chocolate.     Isn't she beautiful? Took this along Singapore River. Yes she always wear this really fantastic smile and it just make me want to hold and protect her forever.
2,351,676
male
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Communications-Media
Virgo
23,July,2004
Many times, i am being confronted with the question of where my priorities are. Is it God first or others first before God? It was only last monday at Jacob's teaching conference, a statement has particularly struck me, and reminded me of something I've taught in my sunday school before 'Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also'. That's the easiest and clearest way to measure a man, and the easiest compass for my spiritual life, am i leading a life after God's heart, or am i simply flirting with the world. Many times, i have to confess, i am flirting with the world, on one leg, i am of the world, enjoying the wines, etc, on the other, trying to balance my faith and my thirst for God. Let me say that i was so wrong. I cannot be lukewarm, neither can i flirt with both and expect to pull through. I have to choose today, whom i shall serve, myself or God, the World or God? I will follow God wholeheartedly, it is hard, but i pray that each day, i will continue to abide in His Word, that through His Mercy, that I may find it all worthwhile, at the end of the day, i will want to stand before God and hear Him says, 'Well Done, my faithful servant'. I can only serve my master wholeheartedly..... i pray.
2,351,676
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Virgo
22,July,2004
Lots of people got promoted today, and of course, i am not one of them. I do not think anyone in my dept got promoted as we are too small, and our contributions to the entirety of the company is insignificance. A thought just crossed my mind that I should seriously start looking at other job opportunities since now that the economy is starting to pick up, and more jobs are generated, although I might have to start now and hopefully get a job by end of December after i've gotten my AWS.  
2,351,676
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21,July,2004
The 2 days changed my perspective in life more than any other events about Christianity - I will make an entry in my Christian Faith Blog. I am tired, physically from the ordeal of rushing to the bible teaching classes at Novena and returning home late every night, but I guess it is worth the time. This week at work seems to be abit dull, and slow, with nothing to show for except some minor projects; i hated this time wasting and inertia which always leave me itching for actions.