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3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
10,August,2004
|
Home atlast... although i had a fun morning. Well, today was a little more tiring than yesterday, but it's all good. Heres what we did. Today we had and Olympics theme, so we played lots of olympic sports like Shotput, Discus, Javelin, and some other stuff. First off, we had the middler group, as always. They had a big class, so we couldn't give them all too many turns, but it was still fun. They played all of the sports well, and i was surprised how far they could throw in the distance throw event. I mean, i had trouble throwing that far... buy i am 'side arm Jon' afterall... So, they had fun. Next came the pre-teens, and since they also had a pretty big class, so, again, we only played each sport one time each person. They also had fun. Then came break time. Today we had popcorn and rice crispy squares. I didn't have the pop corn, but the rice crispys were good. Then we had the smaller groups... they all played the same game and all had fun! Well, today was a good day for all of the kids. When we were leaving, i got to back out the car again, AND drive it out of the parking lot! I was pro!!! w00t! I get to do that every day... i might get to go a bit farther next time... ^_^. Now i'm tired, and i think i'm going to go lie down or something! Lates
|
3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
09,August,2004
|
Well, i've decided to make the next few entries my 'work journal' where i tell you what i did this morning. Well, lets get started then shall we. Well, my mom wanted to get there early, to get oriented with what shes going to be doing (she's helping too this year) and i guess i needed to get the games set up as well (i was a games leader). Well, when we got there, i found the man i was going to be working with, and we went over the games we were going to play with the children today. Then came the opening ceremony. Well, after the torture of listening to the really bad sounding 70s like songs that were organized for this event, we started up. The first group that we were going to do games for was the 'middlers' or grades 3-5 i guess. What we did was play 'wacky baseball', a game where there is only one base. All the kids have to do is hit the ball and run to the base without getting out, and then run back home. Well, i was pitcher. All in all, the kids had fun playing that. We actually ran out of time while playing that, then we had to switch groups. The next group we had were the 'pre-teens'. They also played the same game, but since they were mostly boys (7 boys to 1 girl), it went pretty well. I think the most times i had to pitch to the same kid was 3 times, while when pitching to the middlers, it could have gone up to 11 times. After we finished with them, it was snack time. Today, snack was ice cream, but i didn't have any. Have to watch my diet *wink*. After that, we had the littler kids, and we played T-ball, catch, and find the trophie. I hid the trophie every time, i got to be pretty good at it ^_^. We also did the same thing for the smallest kids. I think all of them had fun ^_^. Then i got to back my moms car out of the parking space!! W00t! Tomorrow -> out of the parking lot. I was born behind a steering wheel!! I'll keep you posted! Lates
|
3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
08,August,2004
|
Well, today i was searching around for a Fruits Basket torrent, i was told the series was good on the asuki forums, so i might as well check it out. I found a 1-6 torrent... but thats it, all the rest i found was actually in finnish... and i can't read finnish. I also located a complete Onegai Teacher torrent, so i'm really happy about that, and while i was seraching, guess what i found? Boxtorrents is back!! And up to it's old schemes again ^_^ Woot. Now if only the server could hold more people.. it's still a bit buggy right now, but it does have a lot of it's old material (unlike downloadanime.org, who was also talked to for the same thing). Good times ^_^ Lates
|
3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
07,August,2004
|
Well, tomorrow i start my job... well, if you want to call it a job. I'm getting paid for it atleast. What i'm doing is helping with the games at my church's VBS (Vacation Bible School), and getting paid 25 dollars a day. So, i work in the morning, then i come home and fool around for the rest of the day. Pretty cool stuff if i must say so myself. I don't know what i'm going to do with the money yet, but i think its' going to be donated to my anime con 'fund'. Lol. Lates
|
3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
07,August,2004
|
Well, i finished watching Azumanga Daioh and the movies/specials taht came with it. Well, i'll give you my rant on it now. I have one word that can describe azumanga in a nutshell. That word is: Kawaii!! Azumanga must have been the cutest anime i have ever watched! I laughted so much, my dad had to tell me to shut up. It's not only mindless comedy either, it's also very heart warming at parts. When my friend first told me about it, he said it was quite random. That sort of turned me off of it, and i didn't really watch it much when i first got it. But, when you think about it, even thought each episode is a surprise, it does all add up to one big story. Azumanga is basicly about the daily lives of six girls: Chiyo chan (the genious), Sakaki san (the athlete who likes cute things), Yumi (the one who thinks shes fat), Tomo (the energetic one), Osaka (the clueless one), and Kagura (the second athletic one). Not only does it follow just their daily lives, but it shows their lives right through highschool, from sophomore year (please accept my spelling) to senior year. If you have the chance, see this anime, it's my second most favourite anime, next to the beloved Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien. You WILL enjoy this series! Lates
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3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
06,August,2004
|
The question for all time: what is normal? You just accept everything you do as normal (if you wish to be 'normal') and don't think about it. But, what really makes you normal? Thats the question for today. First of all, as always, lets see what dictionary.com has to say about normality: nor·mal adj. 1. Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type. 2. The usual or expected state, form, amount, or degree. So, what the dictionary refrence is saying, is that being normal is matching up with the 'norm' or what is supposed to happen, or what you are supposed to do in this case. Lets take an example into consideration: Lets take a popular 'idol', a person who everyone knows, like Brad Pitt. Say Brad walked out of his mansion one day wearing a chicken suit. Soon, everyone would be wearing a chicken suit. Something that outrageous would be considered the norm, after someone with considerable influence did it. So, how is the norm set? Everyone wants to be like the most popular people in Hollywood and other places that carry 'stars'. They mimic the hairstyles, clothing, accessories, line, everything that these people have to offer, just to seem cool. Doing those things would be considered the norm for that point in time. But the thing is, dressing up as one of the Beetles would not be considered cool in today's society. So, what that is saying is that the norm changes with those who are popular. Why should you try to be normal? Well, this is more of a personal question. Everyone wants to fit in. And in escense, we all fit in with a specific group. The goths might not seem normal to a nerd, but goths are normal to other goths. Same with nerds to other nerds. It's where we fit in that determins our norm. Not all of us will appear normal to the person across the street. It's just something that can't happen. The bottom line is, be what you want to be. Don't try to fit in with people who don't suit you. If you don't like nerds, but go to a 'nerdy' school, don't try to be a nerd just to fit in. Be a unique person, a leader of men, not a follower. And if you want to be a follower, don't go for stupid trends that you will regret later, like getting your whole body tattooed. Here endith the 14th lesson. Lates
|
3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
06,August,2004
|
w00t! My torrent downloads for Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance finished yesterday! Thats 4.6 GB of downloaded material, and then when it is uncompressed it's 7.4 GB (for the actual install and play disc) and what it installs on your computer is also 7 GB. Quite big if you ask me. Not great for those of you with limited space. Well, i also started playing it... but my computer doesn't seem to meet top system requirements, so if i turn the effects up too much, it really chugs on the CG scenes. Not to good. Also, i noticed that the cars in the first scene seem to 'flip', and i dont' think thats supposed to happen. Glitch? I'm not sure. I have actually just beat the Solid Snake sequence of the game... it was pretty fun, but the last part was kind of hard, with all of those guards around. Lol, i remember that from the trailer... snake sneaks behind them, then he sneezes, and they become alerted to his presence. You're supposed to be able to catch a cold in these games... but it hasn't happened to me. I wonder what it takes to make snake catch a cold. Well, i officialy don't like Raiden... he looks like such a panzy... i mean, look at Snake, the guy has muscles on his muscles. Then this Raiden guy comes along... with long blonde hair, and he's such a whiner... and he calls the Colonel every five seconds. There's another guy i don't like, he seems to have forgotten what Solid Snake has done for him in the past, and is now asociating him with the terrorist group 'Sons of Liberty'. Thats just not cool. Show some gratitude. Lates
|
3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
04,August,2004
|
Well, i had a fun time today fighting with my cheap emulation hobby. If you don't know what emulation is, in the terms of the way i'm using it, it is using programs for your computer to simulate game consoles in order to play games on your PC. Did i mention it was free, and so are the games, althought it is illegal to have any of the games for over a day if you don't own an acutall copy of the game. Anyways, i've used a variety of emulators before: the SNES9xW for the SNES games that i wanted to play, Visual Boy Advance (really odd title) for the GBA games that i wanted to play, and a whole host of other emulators that i couldn't find ROM's for (such as Gamecube or PS2). A ROM is a Read Only Memory image of the original cartridge (even though the next gen consoles all use DVD's). In simpler terms, ROMs are the games that the emulators play. Well, i just beat MGS: TTS, and am in love with the entire MGS series, starting from it's roots on the PSX (i tried getting Metal Gear for the NES, but it didn't work too well, and it looks kind of stupid). Well, i sucessfully downloaded the MGS ISO file, unzipped them (hard, because the original file extension was .7z which stands for 7-zip, probably something very few normal people have heard of. Massive condensation capabilities.) and got the emulator to play them. Thats all fine and dandy, but what did it take to set up the emulator. First of all i had to get the actual base emulator file. I got that, unzipped (with winzip this time, nice and easy ^_^) and ran. Next came the configuration wizard. It first screamed: Playstation BIOS is not detected, go and search for blah blah blah in your favourite search engine. Well, i got the BIOS, got that working, then it screamed about not having a video adapter. Ok, got that. Then it worked. The picture was choppy but the sound was alright. I got a new video adaptor. Video great, sound sort of echos. Get a new sound adaptor. Video lags, sound lags. Switch back to original sound adaptor. Both are fine. Right now, i have it running windowed, at 640x480 resolution, and it looks crystal clear. Running it full screen makes it a bit pixilated, so i run it windowed. Getting this for free is a good bonus ^_^ and i'm going to try to beat the game on my PC now. Lates
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3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
03,August,2004
|
EDIT: I am actually on the 3rd out of 5 scenes on the last movie of Stuntman. W00t, another game complete. This time it was Tom Clancys Splinter Cell for the Playstation 2. The last mission was hard... i almost ran out of bullets. I had 8 left at the end of the mission... whew, that was too close. And the ending sucked too, i was expecting another beautful FMV like the rest of the game.. but was very dissapointed... because the ending was all to short and inconclusive. What had i been fighting for all the time i'd been playing the game? What happened to Sam Fisher after the mission. How did he get extracted from Nickolazes palace? These are questions that probably never will be answered... but i want to know. Next game on my hitlist: Stuntman. I'm not sure if i can complete this one... i think i'm on the last run, but it's so hard... and i would have to play it for a while to get the hang of it again. I really hate stuntman, but i have to beat it... it's on my agenda... i must do it! It might get done tomorrow, if i really am on the last run... if i'm not, it will take longer. I went into EB today to see about getting MGS2: Sons of Liberty, but when i took it up to the counter, the guy said 'Are you 18?' and i said 'No', because i'm not. At the time, i didn't know what the guy was getting at. 'Well, this is a mature rated game, and you have to be 18 to purchase it' Gack... since when??? No other store has this rule... only EB... that has to be the gayest rule ever. Oh well, i'll pick it up at future shop for 29.99. Not that much more expensive, and i do get it new! Lates
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3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
02,August,2004
|
Well, check out that spiffy new friends list i added! the possibilities of what i can do now are endless... now that i've figured out what and where i put stuff like that for the sidebar. I think i'm going to add a mood, most wanted item, and favourite song of the moment or something like that. I'm excited. Lates
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3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
01,August,2004
|
By that title, i mean i have completed Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes in 8 hours 34 minutes on very easy mode with the rank of Puma. Now, you might say 'ewww.... very easy mode, you suck!!' Well, i don't care what you have to say, i am thinking of completing it again, but first, i have to beat some other games i am quite close to, such as Splinter Cell (i think around 90% complete that) and Final Fantasy X (leveling up for Sin) and hrm.. there are others... FF9... third disc, not that far away... .hack//Infection... i don't know where the end is... so many games, so little time. I must beat some more!!! Well, for now, Splinter Cell is number 1, thats numero uno!! The top priority! Well, with that in mind, i'll stay away from my PS2 for a while. Lates
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3,669,711 |
male
| 15 |
Student
|
Virgo
|
01,August,2004
|
Saturday... a good day i must say. The day that i saw a movie i wanted to see badly. Eurotrip. Funny movie. Let me tell you about the events leading up to it. Yesterday, i went over to my nephew, BJ's, house. We had planned to go to Rogers to rent a game or two, and right when i got there, i was greeted by him and his mom in the driveway, waiting for me to go to Rogers. We casually walked into Rogers and found two games we liked (well, one he liked and one i liked) and they were Summer Beach Volleyball for the PS2, and Kirbys Air Ride for Gamecube. Then we wanted to go and buy pizza, but his mom was in a hurry, so she gave us money, and then drove away. Well, the pizza place wasn't open yet, so we waited around for a while... and it still continued to be closed. We got tired of waiting and walked to the nearby Mcdonalds and got lunch there. After we walked back to his place, we played the volleyball game for a while and then we headed over to his friends house to watch Eurotrip. Eurotrip has to be one of the funniest yet dirtiest movies i have ever watched. I laughed so hard at some parts, but was discusted at others... parts i wish i hadn't have seen. Nothing i can do about it now. You might wonder: Whats your favourite part? Well, i was thinking and my favourite part was right at the beginning when Scotty got a new email from Mikea and his computer told him this by saying 'Mail fo the f*cker' in a distinctly 'black' tone. All of us cracked up, and then we all said we wanted alerts like that. It was great! Anyways, after we finished the movie, we went back to my nephews place, and played some Turok: Evolutions (worst game ever) and some Air Ride (another bad game) and ended it off with some volleyball (fun game ^_^ and not just because of the girls). And when we were in about the 3rd out of 6th tournament in volleyball, i had to go! I also watched 007 James Bond: Live and Let Die, and i can positively say that that was the WORST Bond movie that i have EVER seen in my entire life. Well, atleast i can say now that i've seen them all ^_^. Today, besides go to Church in the morning, i played some more Metal Gear. I am on the second disc right now, right after beating Sniper Wolf for the second time. All i can say is that i hate the lava in the... hot place... can't think of it's proper name... too bad. Well, i think this is long enough! Blog ya later (that was endlessly corney...) Lates
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
|
Taurus
|
28,February,2004
|
oiii! sob! guyyyy! kakaka! welpz, ne wayz. today wazn't a reallie bad day. nor waz it a god one. sho, i went to my guidance thingy appointment. and whoa, i didn't drop ym damn course!! only somply cuz im in gr.10. im sho damn pissed about it ): buh since i've been skipping for 3 weekz, i might get expelled from MD cuz i skipp too much. haha !i dont' mind. i hate that mofo school ne wayz ^^ i think even better. higher chance to get into mss =D yeppz. afterschool reached pmall with joyce. haha! checked up o the HK ticketz. luckly they had room for us. sho we booked 2. haha! sho good. now all i need to do it tell my parentz. kaka! it's goen to be so wack man. today waz so jokez. laughed like a mofo bitch guy. 'fuck my butt' hahah! sho damn jokez! i felt so ignorent today.. not myelf. didn't knoe why. i saw him, buh didn't care to say hi.. or whatever. i haven't talk to the other him for 2 dayz now. around. i mis him ): oiii. that'z about it. finally weekends are here! wakaka! 2 more weekz of school then MB man! hoyeaaa
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
|
Taurus
|
24,February,2004
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oiii, kakak! i duno why, im feeling reallie pissie right now. i've been thinken about a lot of stuff lately too. i alwayz say i don't care, buh do i reallie mean it?? o__+ maybe cuz i haven't talk to him in dayz. buh.. i duno... yepz. today skipped last period with joyce and went to markville. kakak! holy i waz craving for chocolate sho bad mann. lolz! so we went to wal-mart and got some chocolate. holy shit valentine smarties were only .10$. hahaH! itwaz so funie when i saw it. lolz!! ish okay. buh it tasted kinda expired. hahaha! s'all good. then joyce and i were laughen our ass off lke there'z no trm. haha! i couldn't even take a breathe. ish all good. i needed a good laugh from everything that'z goen around.
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
|
Taurus
|
23,February,2004
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okay, sho im freezing my ass off now in my house. god damnit..! my mother turn down the heat. now there'z no difference between outside and inside of the house. kaka! welpz, ne wayz.. i think i finally made up my mind for what im goen to doo. it'z pretty dumb.. buh meh. ya knoe. i only get one life.. for now. kaka! sho ish all good^^
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
|
Taurus
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23,February,2004
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okay, sho i duno why, haha! i just did a 'blog' and it didn't show up at all. o__+ is it meeh, or is it not worken at all?? kakaK! i dunoo. pretty weird. it'z all good. anywayz, i just about to do my hmk, buh i couldn't stand not goen on AA for a while for a cruise. i went to his page and i started to read.. nothen reallie. just the fact that he changed his wanted list. wtf?! i don't get it. like, why would he do that? is it cuz he read what i wrote on my page. cussing like there'z no trm?? kakak! buh anyhoo. i don't think i care ne more. as for now. i hope.
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
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Taurus
|
05,March,2004
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oii, haven't type in here for a while. lotz happened only during this week too. kaka` 2nd last week b4 MB. ^^ it'z all good. yesterday waz fun tho. haha! our school waz on fire. they made us wait outside for the longest time. ironicly, it wazn't the warmest day like today. haha! yepz. there were like 5 fire truck that came, and loadz of police cars. it waz so jokez. oh god. those time. i'll never forget.. i waz reading the stuff from b4. like what i wrote to people, and what people wrote to meh. i still don't understand why im standing here as i am right now. like, doens't make sense at all? to meeh atleast. on wednesday i got a good talk with alan. it was great. it waz about all these hing daiz shit and .. all these crap. i love it. buh, in realality.. would i actully happen? no. what i think is different from all others. i knoe it too. buh some people just dont get that. i knoe i stubberen. and pretty much biased about most stuuf. buh shit, atleast i knoe what to think and what not. atleast for one minute i think about the other side of the opinion. i would open my mouth and start swearing. i just dont get it. i ate a fortune cookie. guess what it said? 1. 'you never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems' 2. 'ignotance never settles a question' IRONICLY 3. 'soon you will be sitting on top of the world' 4. the current year will bring yo much happiness you knoe, i just think all liez. kaka! no offence to whomever made it up. and landed on my hands. let's se, it'z the third month of the year, and still i feel nothen but pain. all except when im with joyce, or in my room crying like a mofo. kaka! i don't even knoe why i still bother.. maybe cuz it'z just meeh? duno. buh... most of all, don't reallie care ne more.
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
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Taurus
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07,March,2004
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crying here at my computer, shoving lasagna and spaghetti in my mouth like nothen. today.. wazn't what i thought it would end up to be one yr ago from today, i waz the happiest girl alove. today, i end up to be the saddest gurl that god have ever create. why dont i just stop lying and smile? cuz i love too much to do so. cuz i miss you so much everynight to smile cuz i lost my meowmeow.
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
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Taurus
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22,April,2004
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whoaa. happy bday to meeh! i have the best day/night ever. i just couldn;t thanku enough for all those people who flooded meeh with msges. haha! i wazn't even home to reallie reply to them. buh ish all good ^^ hmmm, yeaaa. whata day =D
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
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Taurus
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19,April,2004
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i haven't wrote in long bit. so much stuff have happened. good then now bad. i duno what he wantz. or what i want. it waz so hard for me to say i dind't want to see him today. in my heart i knew i waz lying. buh what can i do? i told him the reason. and all he said waz 'i think i want to be left alone sleeping on my bed' those exact same words made meeh feel like this now. like damn shit . i don't knoe what to do .. or say. why is this happening so fast? i miss him so much. does he knoe? everytime i say i hate him, i dont mean it. why? how? cuz eventually if you say 'i love you' too much, it looses its meaning. so saying that, just simply cross it out. does he knoe? no he doens't. he doesn't understand. yet, he'z so perfect and.. everything i wanted. maybe all except this lil bit. i still and will still do love him. whatever he'z doing and how far he goes. mentally im alwayz with him. i can still sometimes smell him in my room. cuz im missing him so much.
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
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Taurus
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01,May,2004
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i waz mad at him yesterday. but i dind't tell him why. why? cuz i thought there waz no use of telling him. since it'z going to fade away anywayz. but just to get it out my chest. i waz mad, cuz yesterday he was supose to pick meeh up from my house at 3:40. i thought to myself it would be such a good day to spend all my time with him since joyce had work. then , i talked to him online during last period. i regret going on the comp. buh at the same time i waz glad cuz i would be even more mad if he told meeh straight up. anywayz. so he told meeh he was going to be late a lil. somply cuz he had to drive his friend for job interview and also karine to some place. i waz thinking to myself. what a fucken lyer. he said i was the most important person and i am the first priority. my damn asss. no offence buh he cared for his friends more than meeh. so i was pissed all over. maybe you can call this, 'jealousy' buh i duno. anyhooo. so i went over to my mum'z place and went shopping with her for a bit. he called meeh around 5:30-ish sayen he'z going to pmall now. if i actully waited for him at home till 5:30, i would've died. so i waz still pissed, so i kinda ignored him for a whole and just shop with my mom. sooo i made him wait for meeh for lke an hr or so, and i finaly reached pmall. part of the reason why i waz late, cuz there was traffic. buh also cuz i wanted him to wait for a bit. ahhhh, i duno mann. im such a bitch. during that time at pmall then, all i did was sit there and listen to him and angus talk. talk talk and talk. edgar came in.. and i sat somewhere else. he come sitting beside meeh and blablabla. right when i came bac into the room, it seemed as if he was a whole different person. he wouldn't hold my hands. he wouldn't talk to me. and he would even look at meeh. i was soo about to burst buh i walked out the room and went outside for a smoke. he comes after finding meeh. walked a bit. then somehow, we just became just strangers and walked separately. we stood in this ally way where noone reallie walkz to. i stood with my bac facing him. then i looked at him. he looks away. i stood somewhere else and i began to cry. all these people were looken at meeh, buh i didn't care. everyone else sees meeh but him. all he did was look in another different direction and ignor me. i stand facing him after. he still wouldn't look at mee. i stared at him for a long while. he finally sees meeh. he just started to glare for while and i looked away while my tears were just droping to the floor. he came up to me finally and started to ask meeh why am i crying. im such a sor ju. i still wouldn'te tell him why i waz mad, buh instead i said, 'nothen waz wrong, i waz just being dumb' reason: why i dind't tell him. i knoe that he had shitload of other crap to think about. i dind't wanna bother him with mine. even tho he asked for it, i still wouldn't tell him. he'z going to be leaving soon. i dont want him to have shitload of crap bothering him when he goes. he'll be thinking how to deal with it. and what to do and stuff. so.. i didn't even bother. okayy. im done bSing noww. stop reading =D
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2,916,521 |
female
| 16 |
Arts
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Taurus
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28,April,2004
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he finally found it. he read it.. and i never knew. i thought he meant it. oh my goodness im so stupidd. i feel stupid. stupid. maybe cuz i am stupid . i called him. he said he's going to call meeh bac. talking to someone about something important. that just got meh start thinking again. but whatever. im not going to even bother. why would this turn out like this? why does he still have the mood to... whatever. i feel like shit. i want to go out for a drink right now. with tom. buh he'z busy. i dont want to go with him. cuz then i wouldn't knoe what to say or do. i would sit there like a log and do nothing say nothing but just sit there drink my tea and maybe smoke. one my charger became green i picked it up and open it. the first thing i thought of was to call him. shiiittttt. why meeeeh. my fucken goodnessss. im so fucken mung right now it'z not even funie. buh what the fuck can i do. just sit there in my room and think. think of the stupidity i've done. ohhh. fuck shit tardddd. someone fucken save meeh. i love him so fucken muchhh -blank- this post does not make any sense.
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27,April,2004
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2,916,521 |
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27,April,2004
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stupidd. he'z going to find this sooner or later.. wakaka` ish all good. damn. im eaten these wasabi beans. it'z burning my nose =( hahah` ermmm. sho i guess the shit with joyce and i are.. over now. like.. it'z all good now. haha! that'z what i meant. we tlak and we laugh blablabla just like b4. just.. something a bit different. can't seem to find out whatt tho. i miss him. when will he ever find this
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Taurus
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27,April,2004
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i miss him more and more each day passes. i dont get why. why i could fal into the hole so deep. anyhoo, all besides that. joyce and i have been growing away form each other a lot lately. maybe for the past 2 monthz now. i dont reallie gte it. like... she tells meeh im changing. wtf is she doing? changing herself. she blames meeh for everything. and iadmit, there'z some turns i made wrong, buh i try my best to make the bets out of it. what do you exspect from mee? i dont get what else to do to make evtything the way it waz b4 anymore. im so sick and tired of bullshitting and 2 facing. maybe it'z time to speak out the damn truth and just get the hell over with it . =D done
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2,916,521 |
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Taurus
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05,May,2004
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wheee* yesterdayy. just like other tuesday from b4. went to markville chilled with my gurrrl. then she had to go to jap, and i went to pmall to find my poop poop. spent the rest of the day with him, angus, ka geh, yow yow and unlcle. thennn went to to his housee. yepz. fun fun. ohh goodiess. i honestly duno what ill do without him.. right now as i sit, i can still smell him near meeh. buh he'z home sleepen. kaka` i miss him so much. someone save me
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04,May,2004
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okayyyy. shoooo. yea. i duno what to say anymore. haha` im so speechless about everything now. it seems to be different in a way, buh at the same time, am i just thinking to much to make it how it is? i dont even knoe. i waited... 3.5 hr for him to come pick meeh up yesterday. atleats i got my napp? we went out to dinner and he drop meeh home. i love him so much. buh yet why am i getten all these other feelings around him? he'z out with his guyz right now. i hope he'z okayy. today'z pretty cold for a day in may. sho... i duno. i just noticed i haven't chilled with joyce for a pretty long time noww. ever since.. 2 weekz ago?? simply cuz we both now have an occupation and stuff.. andschool work is building up. buh i guess it'z okay... as long as we make an effort to spend time together. i can't wait till fridayy. more or less.. im just a screwd up bitch right now that'z waiting for an answer that no one can reallie answer
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Taurus
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12,May,2004
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today was such a hot day. oh my.. is it reallie summer?? lolz! buh yeaa. went to church today for lunch. holy crap i got pretty pissed about kenny playen extremely slow in jitz. becuz of the heat and him. oh my..! buh the good part was i got a very, and i mean very good laugh at john. hahaha! cuz he was playen air hockey thing, and he was playen it as he was fencing. lozl!! so jokezzzz! and justin had to make fun of him and imitate him, buh in a funnier version. oh my goodness. laugh my ass offf. buh anywayz. got sho much work to do and shit. summatives are here and.. blablabla. buh it'z all good + i finally got to spend some time with him. picked meeh up around 4 when i waz about to get a coke. damnn, i waz craven for one all day. and now as i type, im drinken one ^^ anywayzzz. went to pmall. and blablabla. didn't reallie have alone time. buh i guess it'z all good. atleats i can see him, talk to him and stuff. yeppppz. and now, i have to get my ass bac to work..! lalala* this kiwi is reallie bitter. buh coke is good
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11,May,2004
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today wouls be the third day i haven't seen him. it'z so 'sun fu' just to hold it in all the time. buh what else can i do? i dont want to bother him when he'z doing work, or when he'z with his friends. i wanted to call him today to ask where he was and what he'z doing, cuz if he wan't doing anything then, i would go see him. buh i ended up not to. simply cuz i dind't want to be an annoyen lil bitch that alwayz bother him and crap. buh one thing i've notice after tis shit happened, he calls meeh less and talk less when he does call meeh. i remmeber he use to say all these 'i love you, *kiss* take care' blablabla everytime we get off the phone. buh now, it'z just a simple bye. maybe im exspecting too much? orr. i duno. im being gayyy. buh... i would understand if anything goes bad. like... fuck i dont even wanna think about it. i miss him so dman much. i wish i can just hold him the whole day without letting go. i wish i can just talk to him the whole night like b4. but... fuck. everything seem to change. and i dont reallie like it. buh who am i to talk? right...? i duno. he told meeh he might extend the HK thing to end of june. which is reallie good. more time to spend with him. shoo.. yea. i guess.... whatever.
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10,May,2004
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it'z been 24 hrz since i last talk to him. i miss him like fucken crazy. i duno what he'z doing, i duno where he is. in a way, you can say im worried. buh at the same time. you can also say, im waiting for an answer from him. since. blablabla. how can this go so big? is it reallie all my fault?? maybe. im sorry. i guess.. fuck. i duno what to do anymore. school, eat, sit, cry, sleep? that'z what ima do for these dayz. there'z nothen for meeh else to reallie do but wait. i only have 2 or less week being with him physically. I FUCKEN MISS HIM
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10,May,2004
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i miss you clement tsang
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19,May,2004
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hehee` i dind't go to school todayy. cuz im being gayy. and im also very coool =D anywayzzzz. he called meeh last night at 1:04am... and somehting happened. i called him bac buh we didn't talk... so weird. what happened? i dont even knoe cuz i think i waz sleepen.. and yeaa... i miss him oh so much i waz about to type out some crap.. buh i waz thinken not to. since he often come here and reads my stuf ^^ sho it'z all goood i love you clement tsang
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16,May,2004
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last night was so fuckkkked man. i waz so pissed it wazn't even funie. buh.. whatever. ermm, had a great afternoon/evening with my hunie poop. finally got to spend a whole day worth of time with him. which is good cuz i miss him like a shit fuck. haha! except for that one point where i got mad at him.. that waz just gay. im such a spoil shit. hahah! anywayz. i got work in like 50 minz. and im so god damn tired becuz of yesterday. got home at 5ish am. so damn screwd. my eyes are like buring like there'z no trm. =( ohhh well. that'z what i get for .... someshit im not goen to say. hahah` ermmm, yea.... i love my hunie poop =D p.s. i notice i swore a lot in this blog =S p.p.s. i also notice i hardly ate anything yesterday and goen to plus today. hahahah P.P.P.S. WTF YOH! my room smellz like damn smoke nowwwww!! oh myyyyyyy
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27,May,2004
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oh myyy. so much happened in just a couple of dayz... actully a week and a day. buh ish all good. damnn. found out some shit todayy. so fucked mann. she'z sucha damn whore guy. no wonder she'z been acting weird and shit. all becuz of this shit. i dont give a fuck. buh it'z all good. i dont need her. had a huge big good laugh today at lunch. oh god. joyce and i go way bac man. but yes, just a word to sum up the fucken shit she wrote. best friends are supose to be there and bac you up and shit. they dont need to neccessaryly have to talk or chill 24/7. buh your just sayen that simply cuz you haven't gone thru what joyce and i have. your just a jeealous son of a bitch who can't get a friend like that. what? am i right or not? you think you knoe so much people and blablabla* kiss my ass. once your life to turn the other way, dont come crying to meeh cuz all im going to do is laugh and point. dont go fucken blabber about clement and i to your so calle dbest friend. i knoe we are such much more damn 'yun oi' than you and your bf. dont be hating now. if you wrote shit on your page, i can too. like i said today in last period class. what am i to her? a no one buh a friend just any others. sho whatever. it comes and goes. anywayzzz! lalalala* long weekends waz greattt. had a lot of fun. *ahem*clement*ahem* lolz!! yepppz. dont wanna type anymore. i miss youu
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04,June,2004
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the only way i can hear his voice is by listenin to his music. oh dear god i miss him so much. we hardly talk on the phone. buh worst of all, we didn't see each other since tuesdayy! oh myyy, if i ever live my life like this, god knoes what im going to do yo. haha! buh just a thing in my mind im just alwayz thinkin about. *pray to god he wont read this* so, i use to have this boifriend.. he waz great and all. b4 he got his damn job. good thing we weren't that close and shit. what happen waz, he ditches meeh for his job, and we never talked since. we never reallie 'officially' break up. but then i call him one night and started to yell at him like there'z no trm. soo, i guess that countz? lozl! yeaa. how this relate to clement? yeaaa, just !hopinggg! he won't do the same thing as what the other guy did b4. cuz honestly, i waz so hurt when i found out he rather lift boxes than spending time with me. and ya knoee. and yeaa.. buh i knoe clement wont do that, cuz i trust himm and shit. and he'z soo sweet and cute. when he has time he'll give meeh a call just to say he loves meeh and stuff. im happy. maybe im just exspecting a lot more. buh it okay. sometimes it'z my fault cuz i have school work and stuff. so whatever. yeppz. im done bsing
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02,June,2004
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fuck crap.. oh my. im forced to go to calgary with my mother. beignning of july. whata waste of damn summer. oh dear god some one PLZ help meeh. i dont wanna go. and joyce is being a bitch and wont go with meeh. rather work than go. oh my. oh welpz. i wanna ask him to go, buh then i knoe he can't. and even if he could, i dont think i want to. cuz.. it just ruins his 'career' lolz! i dont knoe anymore. i ask myself the same quesiton everyday. oh dear.. am i scaring myself? yes, a lot too. i can't help it tho. it'z just who i am. OH DEAR GOD I DONT WANNA GO YO! hahaH! im bragging about it to everyone. shit. my gooodnessss! there goes my fucken summer. OH MYY! and there'z also vancouver too. shit man. why is my mom doing to meeh. =[ i haven't told anyone this.. except him and will a bit. buh yess....! oh my goodness. my life is such a wreck. someone just PLZ take mehe away.
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01,June,2004
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thomas left to hk already =( hahaH! he'z probably on the plane shitting, sleeping, watchen dvd or.. the thing he said buh i forgot. lolz! oh mann. we're all goen to miss him oh so much. anywayz... yes, im 'salcking' off from doing my hmk. oh goodness. im so not in a hmk mood right now. buh i have to do it. or else.. im a dead gurrl. lolz! yess. i didn't want to go to first period today cuz my tummy waz hurting sooo much in the moring when i woke up. duno why. buh yea... went to sushi for lunch. hahaH! stood outside for it to open cuz it opens at 11:30! and we were there at like 11:10. hah! so jokez. bronco is such a hobo eating his lunch sitting on the sidewalk. lozl! yeppz. skipped (buh not reallie 'skipped') last period and went home. thinking it'll only be a 15-20 nap, i actully took like an hr one. i waz so pissed when i got up cuz i thought someone *coughcjaycough* was goen to call meeh when he reach to pmall. buh yea he dind't. so i told my bro to kidna drive meeh there. metup with them at 168 and gave thomas a hug. that big gianttt. yeppz. and just chilled from then on. oii, buh dirung the evening waz kinda crappy. simply cuz ... i feel bad.. for something.. and i still can't get it out my system. i also didn't smile of laugh when i got home. cu zi felt hso bad and shit.. and i .... yes. anywayz... i better get bac to work now. i have no more coke =( sho i have to drink sprite now.. stoooopid. buh yea. had a lot of little funny convoz with my hunie poop todayy. wakakka i love clement!
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31,May,2004
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oh goddddd! im so mother friggin god damn tireddd!! after all those photoshop work. wakaka! tho my skillz are growing each day. other photoshop people can kiss my butt! =D heheheh` anywayz, today waz fun. chilled my hunie poop will and a bit of aho? and also my broo. hahah! treated him for dinner. weird. buh that'z okayy. sho muchie god damn summative. ima turn nerd mode on soon. and yes, im so sorry if i just lose my temper on anyone. cuz... im stressed.. and *lalala* and yes. haha! i only have 1 exam. everyone kiss my butttt!
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30,May,2004
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hehe` silly pooop. 'wantz: someone who understands' i wonder if you foudn her yett. *lalala* kaka` anywayz. i haven't been home since friday afternoon. and yess. i got home today at like 7:50ish. altho i got madd bitched at by my mom on the phone. haha! my dad just smiled and yess.. dinner waz okay... a bit. i duno. too abd i could 't go to thomas's goodbye dinner. kidna.. oh mannn. my weekend waz great. no work. just chillin. yeppppz. if only i had no school with that. damn that'z the life =D
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07,June,2004
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4 words to decribe our second month, ' I FUCKING LOVE CLEMENT ' it waz actully yesterday. buh i waz too lazy to go on the comp and upload the pics ^^ isn't it so sweeeeet??
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19,June,2004
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hmmm, hehe` i've been lazier and lazier every day. im hardly on the computer and stuff. sho maybe that'z why i dont update this shit as often as b4. hahaha` buh yessss. waz over at clement's last night. then this afternoon met up with my gurl and chilled for the whole day at pmall. damn it felt like a saturday cuz all the gangster shit people were there. lozl! jokez. buhh hmmm. yea. saw a lot of old friends and stuff. had a talk and la* some stupid idiot added meeh on their msn and dont even talk to meeh o.O yeppz.. err, basically, today went by.. pretty smoothly. oh god had soo mucn laughz with ym gurl today too. just out of nowhere we just start to burst out laughen and stuff. haha! sho jokez. and yea. later on the night had a talk with my hunie... ^___^ yeppz. right now, im goen to go to take a shower, then watch some tv at the same time wait for his phone call like evry night. =D done
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Taurus
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14,June,2004
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' that.gurrl`lub that.guy;52CT1314` says: my boifriend and a friend of his francis says: oh u have a boyfriend? francis says: dame i was gonna ask u out that.gurrl`lub that.guy;52CT1314` says: ^___^` francis says: oh well ' that.gurrl`lub that.guy;52CT1314` says: it'z okayyz francis says: tell me when ur single again ' that.gurrl`lub that.guy;52CT1314` says: lozl! i dont think it'll be anytime soon lolz! funie convo. just thought i would put that up cuz i got a laugh outta it. wakakak` NEwayz, the friggin hot weather is comen bac again =( i dont like it. stupid enough i wore a long sleeve shirt today cuz i didn't check the weather channel this morning since i woke up late. heheh` i wa zon the phone with my hunie last night.. it waz a one time long convo we ever hadd. im sho happy. it'z all worth it tho. cuz i loooove him.. and i also didn't feel like goen to school today anywayz. buh... yea. i eneded up to. one thing i had in mind today. joyce is being a major bigass bitch to meeh. maybe not lately buh especially today. b4 she yells at meeh sayen i go on the phone too late while now, she'z up herself for the last couple of months talken on the phone with people. and if i say a damn word about it, she just gimme the look and just like put her head down. wtf is this? it'z wrong to worry about a besterest friend now? like.. goodnesss... buh whateverr.
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26,June,2004
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stupid mother fucken dog. come up to meeh and joyce and started to bark like there'z no trm. honestly, i dont have time this shit.. just can't believe what happened today. stupid bitch ima fuck her up. NE wayz... spent my morning with my poop. then droped mehe home. then went out to pmall with joyce. haha` the car and the '8 por' lolz!! so jokez. today's like a fuck up day. saw owen, andrew and tian. chilled together for a bit. laugh here and there. load of shit happened.. buh yea. haven't wrote in here for a while too. got a nice talk with joyce, tracy, will and melvinn. which is good. so i can let my shit out. hmmm. yea.. he didn't call mehe all day. actully. he haven't been calling meeh for the past couple of dayz.. in my phone the incomeing doens't have his name at all. what'z going on? i wanna knoe too. buh i knoe he'z buzy with his shit.. and im just there. buh.. all i ask for is a hug here and there.. i duno. maybe that is too much. buh like tracy and i say, we are gurlz. we alwayz have our sensitive sides. there waza folder that use to be on his destop only for mehe. and he named it 'lo por's pix'. and now, where the hell is it? i thought it waz special. i felt speciall. buh i guess i dont anymore. soo, i dunooo. i just reallie miss him. and hoping to spend most of my time with him since it is my last week till i leave.. fuckkk. just wanna cry it out.
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23,June,2004
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10 dayz. all i gotta say, i feel like fucked up shit not only today but lately -done
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20,June,2004
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oh gooodness hell :[ just noticed i only have 13 more dayz till i leave toronto. what a bummm. haha! i stoped typing after the second sentence cuz my lo gong jaii just called meeh and we were talken. lolz! yepppz. i just went to my friends aa, and apparently, he got his friggin tactoo already. wow. okayy.. hrmz... i duno what else to type. my weekend was great.. a bit. haha` yeppz. byee
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30,June,2004
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heheheh` ima happy gurl ^^ and no, my god bro haven't scan the pics yet. shooo means i can't post it up. buh yes. on the other hand. my lo gong picked meeh up from my house to go chill. stayed in the car for a bit to talk.. and he found out about the fight on saturday. actully. he didn't find out. i had to tell him. lozl! buh it's all good. went over to will's chil for a bit. then headed to aroura to go to tracy's. stayed there and watched ju on again. *lala* went over to clement'z place. and the day pass by and here i am on the comp missing and loving clement! wakaka` thta's so random. buh ne wayz. errr. yea. so my computer got burnted. lolz! and now im usen my br'z comp to type up my shit and go on aa and friendster and crap. hahaha` it sucz. buh i can't do anything about it. cuz i have to wait till i come bac to get a new comp. what a fuckker =D talken about my trip. apparenlt im leaven on a monday and not saturday. anddd worst of all i told everyone that im leaven on saturday. so it's kinda ... ya.... buhh.. doesn't make that much of a difference ne wayz. since like.. im most likely goin to chill with my hubby anywayz. and that's all that matters. lozl! yepps. shooo.. lala* nothen reallie to update about..... im runn... actully. fuck. i ran out of coke and sprite. shit. i have nothen to drink in the house. hahah` if im reallie despreat, ill drink diet coke :s buh yES! ne wayz. im done and i love clement =D
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28,June,2004
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errrr ahhhh!! got home not long ago from chilling with my ah gor arthr and jasonnn. lozl! so jokez cuz we were racing and lalala* and yea. it waz fun. happy bday b00t b00t* ah gor's goen to scan the pics tonight hoping and ill put it up later. went to commerce and bumped into my lo gong. such yao yoon ^^ i love ihm oh sho much. he just called meeh too. kakaK! anywayzz. today waz like my cleaning day where i cleaned my room and the comp room. hehehe` and yeaa. hoping to spend time with my friends and my poop b4 i leave. and wishing this week will be a blastt =D still need to take pics with some friends. and yes. lala* im going to sleep now. i miss my poo
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05,July,2004
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okay laa. i haven't been on the comp lately. sho yepz. these past few days waz the greatest. i ended up not flying on saturday, so spent my whhoollleeee weekend with my hubby. and maybe also today. since it changed to trm. haha` so bs. buh yeaa. i cried yesterday when we were together cuz i knoe im goin to miss him. and i wont be able to see him in a month and a week. gahhh, yess. i love him. july 1st. he promised to watch fireworks with meeh. we end up goin late and missed all the pretty ones. buh ya knoe. i dont care. i wazn't mad at him or ne thing. as long as we spent the night together. and had fun. that'z all that matters. =D yepps. im tired. byeee heheh
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16,July,2004
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okay, so i called him. and he's still sleepin. he says he's not goin to the dinner just like that and punkz meeh off and fuck. asken meeh when he has to give mehe the present by? why not just give it to mehe at all. everything can just fuck itself. what the fuck did i do to deserve this? giving mehe attitude. yoh, im so sick and tired. i just wanna cry and yell it all out. buh you knoe what, i can't. cuz i need to be miss fucken perfect. i knoe he's stressed and shit cuz of his stuff. he does not fucken need to put it on me. if he can just tell mehe the day b4 he's not goin. holy fucken shit. gte meh out this box
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13,July,2004
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kakak! im practically writing in this like everyday, since i have nothen to do at home and lalala* ne wayz, i fianlly bought a guess bag! it's not the one i wanted. buh i still like it. went maddd shopping during this week with my mum, sis and bro. hahah! s'all good tho. cuz i bought shitload of crap and lalala* as of clemen't side. im reallie worried about him and stuff. he's been stressing since... a long time let's just say. and i feel like i can't do anything about it. and it's so like... useless kinda. buh yea. as long as i knoe im there when he needs a hug or a kiss, im happy already. yepps. tryen to find links for summer school. fuck man. fucken couzin fucked up my plans. oh myy. god knows what im goin to do with his head! lolz! buh yess. megan's bday trm. w00t*
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13,July,2004
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im in a reallie bad mood right now. stupid fucken crap. 2 and a half hr ago i waz suspose to be at clement's hosue. buh right now im fucken stuck home typing this msg. all fucken thnxz to my brother. after all those shit i've done for him. he treats meeh like this. fuck this. once i turn 18, im getting my ass out the dorr no matter what. no one is goin to fucken stop meeh. even if it means living on the streets. everyone in my family can kiss my sorry ass goodbye. im so sick and tired of all these shit. goin at 4, why not just go at all. on the other hand, im waiting for my mother to get bac home and drive meeh there. get some lunch for him and lalala. it's unbelieveable how pissed i am right now. i dont even want to talk to my friens online right now. cuz if i do, all im goin to do is yell at them. then afterwards ill feel bad and all those fucked up shit. so whatever. fuck you
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Taurus
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12,July,2004
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gwaaa. what a fucke dup day =D hahah! went shopping for 4 hrs and i only bought 1, yes ONE shirt. lozl! it kinda upsets meeh. cuz... lala wahetver. i never liked goin shopping with my mum. im alwayz either buying it with joyce... or sometimes myself. buh whatever. errrr. nothen else to reallie say. ohh. right. im not goin to calgary ne more. hahha! stupid shit head couzin. im glad im not goin. or else i would've just serious knock him head off or somen. stupid bitchhh. kekee! yeppps. hmmm. yea.. done =D
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Taurus
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12,July,2004
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gahh, i haven't wrote for a long timee. cuz.. im lazy. i have a lot of time in my hand tho. wakakak! ne wayz. i still haven't chilled with people im supose to yet. and i have no damn clue when im leaven. hahah! buh then i talked to some old friends that i haven't in a long time tho. which is nice. aka alan. lozl!! yeppz. been chillin and sleepin and eatin a lot. buh yess. joyce and i have been drifting apart since.. july 1st. i dont remember any memories we share with each other since then. wtf is goin on? i dont even knoe. the last time i saw her, she looked like a whole new person to meeh. who's clement's new gf? your the one who changed and your sayen i did? just by wearing a baggy tee and jeans? okay. atleast i didn't get the opposite colour purse i wanted and another shade of sunglasses i wanted and not tell meeh about it. buh you knoe what. whatever. you can do whatever you like. im not your mom. hell, im not even sure if IM YOUR closest freind ne more. buh whatever. on the other hand, im getten closer and closer to clement each time we spend time together. i hate to see when he has to like wait and wait. i knoe it wastes a lot of his time. buh i can't do anything about it. and lalala* it'z been forever since he chilled at my house. except for the time after dinner. buh yeaa. i lvoe him. i honestly duno what ill do without him by my side supporting meeh what i do and shit. soo all beside that, im still in toronto. no clue when im leaven. buh im guessing soon. cuz ... yea. =D im donee
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23,July,2004
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yesterday was one of the many most memories i will remember with joyce. chillin with simon, raymond and sheng. it was great. i laughed a lot, talked a lot and simply just being meeh. i swear i haven't had a good laugh since, forever. this past week have been reallie stressin and shit. and im glad all these shit are goin to dye down soon. im glad in a way i can help clement and will clear some debts. altho i knoe what the concequences are. but fuck dat. kaka` anyhoo, next week monday is a big day. well, for joyce and i. reallie looking forward to it. and hoping we'll actully go do it. and i knoe we will =D hmmmm, spend my night with my hunie last night. i miss him so much right now. hope everything is okay and that, i dont ave to worry and lalala* yeppps. done
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2,916,521 |
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Taurus
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22,July,2004
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ani love clement .period
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2,916,521 |
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Taurus
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22,July,2004
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tears of pain. can't help but rushing down my face. as i sit here, infront of my computer. thinking about the one i love so dearlly, clement tsang. will i get a chance to tell him how i reallie feel? how much and how deep i have fallin in love with him. never thought a guy can change my life until now. until that very day i met him. he's my everything. i would do anything in the world to see him smile. but what can i do now? nothing. sit, wait.. i love him too much to let him go.
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Taurus
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27,July,2004
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oiii, im finally home since last night to update this. hehe! buh yess. my weekend plus yesterday was greattt. spent it all with my hunie poop. didn't end up to get the tacctoo yesterday with joyce. buh hoping to get it sometime this week. since she doens't have work all week and all. buh s'all good. hmmm, big shit happened to some of my friends. hoping everything is goin to be okay for them. lalala* im done
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06,August,2004
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today, ish our 4th month. and yet, im still stuck at home, waiting for him to pick meeh up. he just called and said if it waz okay to pick mehe up at 2. im all dressed up nicely and waiting for him to come. im happy? i dunooo. i feel like shit cuz of that thing in my mouth. oiiiii. i hope today's goin to be funnn
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02,August,2004
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and hello ^^ whooaaa, i haven't wrote in this since july 27th.. which is.. a couple of days ago. buh i dont remember that happening. buh anyhoo, im at my boyfrien's place right now. hehe !i haven't been home lately nor near a computer that i can actully take time to type into. kakak! my past weekend plus friday was goooodies ^^ kkakaka! in a way. it was will's bday on friday. sho yepppz. summer is starten, yes starting, to kick into my head. lolz! i dont even remember the dates anymore and stuff. shoo yeaa. im planning on staying here till i go bac to school or somen. i still have to do a lot of shopping with my gurl and stuff. to school and lalala* come to think about it, thru this past month and so, i haven't chilled with her for more than 5 dayz. i feel sho bad. and heheh! i haven't chilled with my old friends yet. haha! i feel sho shitty! buh yea. whatever comes. hmmm, nothin more else. i need to blow dry my hair soontime cuz ish still wet. and it's like 2:35 in the morning. kakaka! anywayz, ima stop here. he's gettin out the shower sooon ^_____~
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08,August,2004
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hehehe! im at clement's place right now. waiting for him to come bac. oiiii. i had sooo much fun in our 4th month. lolz! altho the last blog was kinda... yea. i waz pissed at first cuz i thought it's goin to be all us. buhhh. it end up to be. and we took mad pictures. and bought a couple of movies. yess. overall, it waz the besttt =D hmm, what else.. nothen new reallie. spent a lot of time with him and all. he's the sweetest guy alive. on the other hand, starten trm, i only have 3 more weeks of summer left until i get my ass bac to school. i still duno about the registration day crap. ima ask my friend later on.. buh s'all good. goin shopping wiht ym gurl on maybe the last week of summer. it's goin to be fun. kakak! what a perfect life right now. no stress and alwayz having fun ^___^
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Gemini
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28,May,2004
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Despite its major key tag the Sonata for Cello & Piano in F major, Op.99 by Johannes Brahms is a late work that is suffused with autumnal grace and melancholy – much like most of his last pieces – reflecting I’m sure the innermost thoughts, expressed musically, of a man who has arrived at the end of his life and can look back upon his deeds and accomplishments with a profound sense of comfort and serenity. Both these sensations are clearly evident in the second mvt, Adagio affettuoso where Brahms gives us one of his most deeply personal and serene melodies. And what better instrument to highlight these emotions than the haunting strains of the cello? In describing what Brahms sought to convey musically, a critic wrote: “This first part of the movement is completed by the lovely bit of fluid innocence, as of a candid child…”* There is indeed a distinct sense of the innocence of youth to the short melody that Brahms marked to be played pp , extremely softly. Heralding its arrival is a short song of such immeasurable longing and melancholy that one might spend a lifetime searching for another as beautiful and sad. It is a testament to the brilliance of Brahms (as if such were needed!) that he chose to combine these two melodies within the fifty-three seconds of time it takes to perform them. Snuggled up next to the wistful melody of bittersweet sadness is that youthfully inspired tune whose descending notes remind one of the faraway echoes of the carefree laughter of children. What kind of intellect could come up with such a radiant idea? From where does such genius originate? It is truly a mystery of the creative soul and Brahms has to be one of its greatest practitioners. --kak * Daniel Mason, The Chamber Music of Brahms Edwards Bros., 1933 pg. 164
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26,May,2004
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As I exited my front door and turned to walk around the front of the car, I looked down at my feet and there lay a humble leaf. It was quite dead, having assumed the tawny color of autumn and had obviously dis-attached itself from its parent tree. Of itself it was hardly worth mentioning – just another piece of detritus that will soon merge back into the earth and be forgotten almost as soon as one unwittingly tramples over it. No, it was not the dead leaf itself which had arrested my forward motion and caused me to stop and stare. It was what was resting on it, sequestered and protected within the curled body of the thing that made me gape. They were three tiny droplets of water. In the mornings now with the weather cooling down, the moisture content of the air is quite high. When the sun begins to lift off the horizon and warm up the atmosphere, condensation forms quickly and layers everything. Such was the genesis, I’m guessing, of this trio of droplets. But whatever the manner of their birth, they were a sight to behold. First off they were tiny. No bigger than brass BBs. But what made them so special were their perfectly spherical shapes and their searing luminosity. Being as tiny as they were, I’m sure their faultless shapes were a result of a combination of surface tension, capillary action (with the surface of the leaf they rested upon) and some covalent (or is that ionic) bonding thrown it. My knowledge of such recherché scientific laws is rusty at best, but the result of these laws was pure beauty. So perfect were these tiny balls that they appeared to be possessed of a degree of substantiation like diamonds and one had an overpowering desire to possess them, but I knew that their façade of solidity was just that. Any disturbance would displace the natural order that created such glorious things and they would vanish. I allowed them to rest. Somehow, resting there half-way hidden on the inside spine of the curled brown leaf, they managed to catch the morning rays of the sun and in doing so, brilliantly magnified its light with blinding intensity. They looked like three tiny stars, so brightly shining with what appeared to be their own manufactured light that the sight of them stopped me in my tracks. I will never be able to describe to you how incredibly breathtaking was their glow. It was unearthly almost, that such minuscule things could be capable of extruding such an intense value of light. It was like staring into a halogen lamp at full register. I wish I knew some term or neologism to describe the concentration if this light to you my friend, but I would fail. Simply, it had to be seen – and thus experienced. I flirted with the trivial thought of rushing back into the house and getting my digital camera to record the event but the thought died, still-born in my head. What cheap contraption of man’s puny devising could ever hope to capture the essence of those three mini-suns? I would snap a picture, view it on my computer screen and inevitably sigh in dismay for not having accurately preserved the magic of the image. No. This was a special gift from the Almighty. To be seen by me only. With the cameras of my own eyes. To be developed in the incorporeal dark room of my own senses. Any descriptions I could hope to convey to you will be measured forever inadequately against the unbelievable spectacle that those three tiny diamonds presented. It is my hope however that you can perhaps imagine what I was privileged to see this morning. It is a sight one can hope to experience maybe once in a lifetime. --kak
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25,May,2004
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Having come to Homer’s immortal world masterpiece, The Iliad early in my youth, the work was subsequently devoured every summer as the family vacationed across the country. And in the guise of Samuel Butler’s prose translation I learned to appreciate this most seminal of human dramas about love, war, glory and honor. It was thus with a mixed bag of emotions that I entered the theater recently to watch Hollyweird’s latest retelling of this classic story. I emerged, over two hours later, chastened and feeling somewhat cheated by what I just witnessed onscreen. In director Wolfgang Petersen & writer David Benioff’s defense, one can hardly hope to tackle the mammoth scope of a tale like The Iliad and encapsulate all the points that give the story its grandeur and pathos. No movie version – no matter how brilliantly conceived – can ever do better than the cinema inside one’s head and so the work should be digested first and foremost through the act of reading. The connection that is established by Homer and his Reader is always the best. Here, Benioff’s knife cuts too deep. Major, major themes and characters are either restructured, or altogether expunged from the story in an all-but-impossible effort to translate the events of literature to screen. The most obvious examples were the compression of ten years of war down to a couple of weeks and the much ballyhooed decision to eliminate the gods in the epic which to me, hurt instead of clarified. I suppose the filmmakers wanted to give the story a more realistic human face, but in doing so lost the shining brilliance of Homer’s original by not allowing the audience to gauge the actions of the mortals against those of the immortals during the course of the tale. It is this running undercurrent that gives so much life to the story and incidentally, ironically immortalizes the actions of men above the gods due to the fact that the gods are deathless and mortality comes so very quickly and easily to men. True, there is a scene in the film between Achilles and Briseis wherein the Greek hero does touch upon this point and I guess we have to be thankful for small favors, but sadly, they were rare in this movie. Another flaw was the complete permutation (and in some cases mutilation) of many major characters together with the inexcusable faux pas of having some of them killed off long before and in a manner completely antithetical of how tradition tells us they were. According to the movie version, the later events in The Odyssey and the complete Oresteia itself could not have taken place! For instance, to whom would Odysseus’s son, Telemachus be visiting in Sparta in Book IV of The Odyssey ? What need would there have been for Orestes to return from his exile? Granted, these are points that perhaps the average theatergoer would not ordinarily contemplate, but they are enough to send us classicists and the well-read screaming for the exits. No movie can ever be more than a vision of its creator. In the movie Troy , there exists the rather incongruous mantel of “northern-European weightiness” that permeates the main characters. This was nowhere more evident than in the look and feel of the sons of Atreus [Agamemnon & Menelaus]. The attributes we’ve traditionally come to expect in Homer’s proto-Greek Achaeans do not appear to abide in these gentlemen. They seemed more fitted for fighting in the Celtic Highlands of Scotland or the Teutonic forests of northern Gaul than under the bright Hellenic skies of the Aegean. In addition to the “heavy look” was the throwaway characterization of Agamemnon, the King of the Greeks. Here, the filmmakers’ heavy handedness was much in evidence as they seemed intent to show him and his brother in the basest light imaginable: as power-hungry warlords – and nothing more. All the subtleties of their natures as so laboriously created and maintained by Homer for twenty-four books of dactylic hexameter are swept aside for the expediency of one-dimensional characterizations whose sole purpose is not to overcomplicate the plot. Sorry, but I’ve come to expect my Homer to have a little more meat on the bone. In light of the fact that major motion pictures about Homeric epics will always fall far short of the blind poet’s vision, I think it best for those of us who wish to experience the full sense of these classics should continue to reach for the book – not the DVD – on the shelf. --kak
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24,May,2004
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Now, on to Ivan. Today’s reports inform us that the Russian Foreign Minister claims the United States (they go out of their way not to mention the word: Coalition) is trying to “completely destroy” Iraq. This too is hardly surprising coming from a nation whose odious secret weapons and technology dealings with the Saddam regime are now coming to light. The nation of Russia is like a petulant child. The Federation is brand new. And like an unruly child, they demand attention and respect, but they lack the maturity to garner either. They have only just shaken off the Soviet shackles that for so long bound and chaffed them. Fourteen years is hardly enough time to cleanse the stink of socialism and all its evils from their minds or indeed their decision-making processes. This sadly, will take generations to accomplish. They are scrambling to learn the niceties of democratic-inspired leadership, but in the meantime, their mafia, black-market and other nefarious organizations have sprung up and taken on a larger role in the country’s daily business. These shadowy and evil organizations have found fertile ground in the wake of the demise of the Soviet State and in truth, have been in many cases created, nurtured and strengthened over the years by the very oppression imposed upon them by that totalitarian gov’t. Surely, it makes sense that dissident & shadowy cabals and networks would flourish under such a tight-fisted rule. With the collapse of Marxist ideals beneath the weight of a steadily strengthening free world, the decaying Soviet Empire was ripe for these types of organizations. It makes sense too that the mind-set of such dealings would filter and bleed into the newly formed government’s way of thinking and doing business with the rest of the world. The Federation is in dire need of money. They have only just become a free nation. You do the math. They are liable to do any thing that brings that money in. They do not have a history of a free society that they can look back upon to lay down rubrics of correct behavior. They can only look back to see restrictive Stalinist control masquerading as government and to recall all the “shady dealings” they had to conduct if anything was going to get done behind such a “curtain of iron”. These things should always be recalled when one hears such nonsense coming out of the Kremlin or observes their reprehensible dealings with tyrants and terrorists. --kak
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23,May,2004
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As I went out for my walk last evening, I ran into John and we were exchanging pleasantries. The skies overhead were clear and a beautiful, peaceful crescent moon was in evidence. I mentioned it was a crescent Moslem moon. John countered with, “Yeah, but there’s no star.” To which I answered: “Oh, they’ll be seeing stars soon enough.” He then sighed and said, “Yes, I know, this war… this war.” And shook his head sadly in that resigned, world-weary way that stupid peaceniks do when they think they are being sage. “War does not solve anything, KAK.” I grit my teeth, but smiled and said plainly: “No John. War solves everything. It solved Hitlerism, it solved the divided nature of this country in the eighteen-sixties, and the threat of waging an ultimately successful one even solved the problem of the soviet threat of world domination.” Stupid, uneducated, liberals… People who are oblivious to the events of history should never make statements like that. They should simply take their woefully uninformed opinions and fly up, up, up to Cloud-cuckoo Land and there titter and twiddle with the rest of the garrulous [and uneducated] songsters of the grove! --kak
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Gemini
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23,May,2004
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…My next topic for discussion is the joys of java. In deference to being an honored guest at your humble abode recently I held my tongue and did not unduly chastise you for keeping in your house (much less preparing and drinking) that odious brew that laughably masquerades under the moniker of coffee. To true java connoisseurs coffee from a can is a no-no. Yes, I know you will argue that it’s just fine for you and you are used to drinking it that way, but my dear friend, I think of your present plight as it pertains to the famous literary allusion of Plato’s Cave and the denizens that dwelt within, conscious only of the shadows flitting by on the wall they stared at, unbeknownst that the shadows are actually pale representations of the true world existing just behind them. Thought of in these terms, it might make more sense to you: drinking coffee is a luxury. We certainly don’t need the daily pleasures we derive from drinking it, and yet it is something we go out of our way to do each morning. Why then, if you’ve made the conscious choice to partake in this luxury, why isn’t the luxury at all luxurious? When you come here, I wish to introduce you to real coffee, prepared from freshly ground beans, kept safe from the debilitating attributes of light and air by being kept in an air-tight porcelain container until the moment of grinding. Only thus can you truly taste the dark roasted bean in all its glory. That pulverized brown chalk that claims to be the same thing is most certainly not. Go ahead… laugh… call me a snooty elitist bastard if you must. But I’m betting you will overwhelmingly enjoy and prefer the taste of my home brew to anything you can create from an aluminum can and that less-than-perfect method of slow drip brewing you adhere to. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not going to sugar-coat the situation and say that in order to enjoy true coffee; it is an easier thing to accomplish than doing it your way. That is not the case. Mine is more time consuming, more entailed. Yet, what in life that is truly good is not also worth the extra effort? And while we are on the subject of fine coffee, you might as well kiss that powdered creamer good-bye too. I can turn you on to the beauties of half-n-half which is the only civilized way to temper the more robust flavors inherent in true, freshly-ground coffee. Why go through the trouble of creating a little masterpiece in your cup when you sully it with powdered cream? This is the essence of tragedy. You should start buying your coffee in a sealed foil pouch, whole bean. But already I take this subject to untenable lengths. When you arrive, I will have plenty of opportunity to berate you for your former life styles. --kak
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22,May,2004
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...And finally, I was watching the news this morning and flipped it during a commercial break to catch a minute or so of some goofy syndicated adventure drama. In the few seconds I was watching it, waiting for the Fox News program to return, I heard one of the characters mutter something about the Grim Reaper with his “over-sized hoe.” Hoe, Richard, hoe . Who writes this %*^#? The genius of Death as personified in the Grim Reaper always carries a scythe, not a hoe. They are two distinctly different instruments. One is for digging and turning the earth, the other is for shearing wheat [or souls]. How that one got passed the editors I’ll never know. I don’t think Death would be half as scary if it only crept around trying to gather humans by beating them down with a garden hoe. But such is the lamentable state of what passes for entertainment in this country nowadays. --kak
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22,May,2004
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…Long gone are the days when the cushions had any sort of reasonable life and suppleness to them. Today they resemble large, square indented brown pancakes that deflate with horrible swiftness at the least bit of pressure applied to them by a pair of descending human buttocks. One does not sit on this couch as much as fall into it. Like the tumbling young maiden in Alice in Wonderland , you discover that you keep dropping deeper and deeper into the earth and only stop when your butt completely displaces every last ounce of support from the tired old cushions. At this point, you are seated in such an outrageously awkward position the mere sight of you would make a circus contortionist blanch. Suddenly, through the wheezing haze of your tortured breath – straining to bring oxygen down to a pair of crimped and folded lungs – you realize you are staring up at your own kneecaps towering several feet above your head! You feel dizzy and unbalanced for a moment to think that the human body could attain such an impossibly unnatural position. Then somehow, amid all the pain and shock, you must gather the strength to part your legs so as to at least afford yourself a partial view of the television screen across the room. And these support-less cushions are not the only problem this man-eating piece of ancient furniture presents to the user. The armrests, after eons of wear and tear, have become twin pain-wracked, torture chambers. The faux-leather Naugahyde skin has lost all traces of its original suppleness, and under countless successions of humid summers it has managed to dry up and split; ripping open like a steam-filled foil bag of Jiffy Pop . The resultant sharp, jagged edges of torn vinyl fabric invariably invite comparison to the sleeping arrangements of an Islamic fakir who chooses as his peculiar place of repose a wickedly sharp bed of nails. As soon as you rest a weary forearm across the damaged material, you instantly discover that it is not unlike laying it atop a field of razor-sharp, scoriaceous aa lava which carpets the slopes of Mauna Loa. You want to scream out in pain, but of course the unnatural origami-like folding of your diaphragm precludes any chance of gathering enough air in your equally twisted lungs to produce a croak of despair, much less a scream of pain. Such then, are the deplorable conditions of this Marquis de Sade Couch. And I for one shall certainly not shed a solitary tear for the eventual fate of this wicked and inhuman contraption of weakened foam, dried wood and torn vinyl. --kak
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22,May,2004
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Take a chain and wrap it tight Heave and pull with all your might Haul the stupid statue down And with your slipper slap the clown! Drag the head along the street Revel in Saddam’s defeat Tow the torso through the town And with your slipper slap the clown! Sit and ride the brazen head Soon your tyrant will be dead Take your shoe from ’neath your gown And with your slipper slap the clown! Spit and curse and urinate Atop his image defecate While you do so laugh don’t frown And with your slipper slap the clown!
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22,May,2004
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Dear Nielsen Ratings: I would first like to thank you for allowing me to participate in the rating poll. However after reviewing my diary, you might perhaps have considered another individual to better gauge the “TV watching experience”. My inclination through the years has been to watch less rather than more. Where does one even begin to discuss the attributes of TV on our society? To quote Homer (the Poet, not Simpson) “…had I a thousand tongues and a heart of bronze, I should not do it justice.” Its pervasive influence is felt in countless ways. It is both a boon and a bane and I have (as I suspect many TV viewers do) a love/hate relationship with the infernal machine. As I am a Boomer, TV has always been there and I have watched it from its near-infancy up until the advent of the digital HD surround sound age. Early on, it provided me with the fodder from which I drew my imagination and storytelling skills. I am a writer and would be less than honest if I didn’t credit TV with that early spark. Still, as I aged, I began to prefer my own imagination to that of producers and directors in the media. I have an inordinate love of history books and classical music—I own a library and an audiophile sound system—and those two things fill my hours much more than television. For the most part, I would have to say that TV fills in those few times when I have nothing else that interests me and therefore does not command my allegiance to any one show or time slot. Still, I would not have you think I view Television as the bête noire of our times. I am not insensitive to the fact that it is indeed the window to the world for most of us. But as the prime disseminator of information, I find it at times sadly lacking. With the invention of 24-hr news, the networks now have the onerous task of filling the day’s broadcast schedule with something—anything—that smacks of news coverage and this has precipitated an entire culture of airing events (or giving them unwarranted coverage and importance) that they clearly do not deserve. The O.J. Simpson trial is a prime example of this malady. The final arbiter of such things is of course, The Viewer. He has the power to switch the set off as often as he pleases. As the Delphic Oracle once admonished: “Nothing to excess”, and it would be wise to recall this when sitting in front of a television for hours on end. Human nature being what it is, I suspect many of us would just as soon sit there, allowing the TV to create our world and be our prime mover in it. Its power is undeniable but the real power lies within us to use it the best way we see fit. Sincerely, --kak
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22,May,2004
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I always look forward to the hourly chimes of a clock in the house whose tune is based on the ubiquitous chimes of Westminster, the famous “Cambridge Quarters”. The descending notes strongly bring to mind two instances of music by Johannes Brahms. The first and most well noted being the lovely “horn call” of his Symphony #1. With only a slight difference in the first measure, the chime-theme of the clock can be transposed into Hans’s lovely horn song that dispels the dark introduction and ushers in the solemn brass chorale in the 4th mvt. In fact, the similarity of the two was so striking; first-time listeners of the symphony in England thought for sure Hans lifted the theme from their chiming clock at the church at Magdalene College in Cambridge University. [It was there that the chime was first introduced, even before it was installed in Big Ben in London]. We have of course, the card from Hans to Clara Schumann of Sept 12, 1868 wherein he quotes the theme with the words: “Thus sounded the Alphorn today … High on the peak, deep in the vale, I greet thee many thousand times!” so we must believe any similarity between the horn theme and the clock chimes is purely coincidental. The second musical resemblance I have found (and which I have not yet heard anyone comment upon) is even more identical to the chimes of Big Ben. It is that of the wonderful D-flat major theme near the end of the Brahms Piano Sonata #3 Op. 5. The first four notes of this joyous theme match exactly the first four of the clock chimes. This would also appear to explain why I always seemed to begin humming that theme from the sonata each time the hour chimes sounded. Apparently, Pavlov’s salivating dog had nothing on me! --kak
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22,May,2004
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The two armies face one another across the narrow pass. The earth is squeezed at this point into several impossibly narrow defiles between land and sea. To the north are the shallow silver-blue waters of the Malian Gulf. To the south is the steep face of Mt. Kallidromos —an ironic name given its English translation from the Greek: “the good path.” To the mighty invading Persian army, there is nothing good about it. It is an insurmountable barrier that keeps them from attacking the left side of the Greek line. While its slopes are not sheer, they are steep enough to disallow the Persians access to any sort of flanking maneuver. A carpet of dry brushwood cloaks the places on the slopes where the bare rock of the earth itself has failed to poke through. Higher up, above this area of chaparral is an oak forest near the beetled summits. The air is redolent with the scent of the sea, the sage and thyme of the mountainside and occasionally, the distasteful sulfur odor from the natural hot springs close by. The sheer visual effect of that brooding mountain at whose very feet lay the shore of a gently lapping sea is spectacular to the point of incredulity. But more incredible still is the sight of the men who are sent to hold the Pass. Lacedaemonians. Spartans. A distinct breed of warrior whose existence can only have been created in a land of such ruggedness. They are dressed for battle and stand stiffly at attention in perfectly formed phalanxes across a wider part of the pass. In their solidity, they seem almost to be a natural extension of the mountain, an adamantine bulwark of bronze. There is an awful grandeur about them, a disconcerting and terrible sense of single-mindedness in their demeanor. And it is a ruthless devotion to discipline that keeps them standing straight, immobile, unflinching at the sight of the mighty Persian war machine—many times their number. Their expressions are unreadable behind the cheek plates and nose guards of their tight fitting Corinthian helmets, the tops of which carry red- and white-dyed horsehair plumes. It makes them seem more an unwavering line of machines than men. Yet, men they undoubtedly are. Men honed to a paradigm of physical proficiency not seen before by the invading host. The fluttering blood red cloaks of the officers are the only things that bestow any sense of movement upon the scene. More of that terrible bronze is sheathing their chests and covering their sturdy legs. Their arms, meaty and darkened by a life spent exercising in the sun are gripping spears whose bronze tips glint with a palpable and sinister sense of impending peril. And lastly, there are the huge bronze shields. Each of them held rock steady in front of the cuirasses and bearing the great pyramidal “lambda” of the Greek alphabet. It represents Lacedaemon, their home and country and the reason they have arrived and are prepared to defend to a man, the Pass of Thermopylae.
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22,May,2004
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As you might know from the commendable act of reading your Thucydides, Arcadia, in its strictest geographical sense is confined to a mountainous inner area of Greece. Its boundaries are roughly in the center of the Peloponnese whose rugged terrain of its interior assured that anyone who came from this area would automatically be one tough old Greek. Concurrently, Hellenes from this part of the nation have a reputation for being real backwoodsmen and country folk, being famous for their inherent toughness even back in antiquity. The mistakenly imagined sylvan fairyland of “Arcady” which has existed in Western consciousness since antiquity and subsequently bolstered by the great landscape painters of the 17th C. can be laid at the feet of three minor idyllic poets of the Hellenistic era. Theocritus, Bion & Moschus. To quote scholar, Peter Green: Their mythical Arcadia (the real Arcadia was, is remote, backward, mountainous) could only have been invented by nostalgic urban intellectuals who never herded sheep, much less milked cows, in their lives, but were hooked on the seductive dream of a lost rural Golden Age .* Indeed, the 3rd C. BC poet Theocritus was born on the island of Kos and lived his life in Alexandria, which explains why he wrote so glowingly about a place he had probably never visited. To take the point further, the French painter, Nicolas Poussin, in the 1630s and ’40s whose lavish canvases depicted a bucolic richness and serene sense of ordered landscape further cemented the idea of Arcadia as a place that has a park-like setting where the minor god, Pan pipes on his tuneful syrinx, satyrs romp in unabashed sensual pleasure and bacchanals are a daily ritual. And this concept has not only been confined to paintings. It has emerged in the other Arts and been brought up to date with the ballet of French composer, Leo Delibes, Sylvia , (1875) and of course, the Disney animated feature, Fantasia . I suspect, looking at it from a cockeyed psychological perspective, the images of Arcadia as a happy woodland place where Man need not toil to enjoy the earth’s rich fecundity, where he can lay on just about any patch of ground and be ensconced in soft verdure, where drinking from sparkling cold springs and eating ripe fruits and quaffing sweet wines the life-long day is in fact, a way to make more manageable the actual horrors of the untamed forests and wilderness. In reality, it is a place were creatures ready and willing to eat him lurk, where iron-hard trees must be backbreakingly cleared before the laborious effort of planting and nurturing seeds can provide for his sustenance, and where laying down on the ground can probably earn someone a snake bite on their posterior or a nasty meeting with a patch of fiery poison ivy! Nevertheless, to this day that dreamy state of Arcady fills our imaginations with thoughts of only good things and of the bucolic pleasures to be found there. --kak * Peter Green, Classical Bearings UC Press 1989, pg.148
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22,May,2004
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Frankly, an average ten-hour shift guarding nervous critters in an animal theme park was not the most pleasurable way to pass one’s time. Thus, I devised numerous antics to help stave off the continuous onslaughts of boredom. One of the better ones I recall was when I explored the buildings at the rear of The Park and there, discovered several large freezer units. Inside these were kept the various food items for the big cats. Being particularly bored on this particular day, I lifted a cover on one of the freezers and was surprised by what I found there: dozens of horse hooves. Frozen-solid horse hooves. God knows how they were procured, but I knew where they were headed: into the caged compound as snacks for the lions and tigers. Immediately, my warped mind hit upon another use for these grisly items. And grisly they undoubtedly were. Although frozen through-and-through, with hanging tendrils of sinew and muscle clinging to the bone, they looked suspiciously like the mangled stumps of human limbs. I nearly cried out with joy at the idea which hit me that instant and hurried back to the guard shack to test my new theory on unsuspecting employees who had to pass by me before entering the rear gate of The Park. I had no trouble slipping the frozen hoof into my right jacket sleeve while holding it with my hand that was now completely hidden inside the arm of the coat. As the employees walked through the gate and waved, I waved back, using my recently acquired “mangled stump of a hand”! The initial shock on their faces was most amusing and well worth the risk I ran of allowing the frozen hoof to partially thaw and ruin the sleeve of my jacket. It was especially fun to watch their reaction when I leaned out of the shack and waved my stump while admonishing them: “Don’t get too close to them tiger cages!” --kak
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22,May,2004
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As the great Ionian Greek philosopher of the 6th C. BC, Hercaclitus, so eloquently put it: “nothing endures but change.” During my life I could count on few things as holding steady and being forever rooted to the solid foundation of this earth as I could the old and tired Miami Seaquarium sign that sits at the entrance of Rickenbacker Causeway. The sign itself is a tall, open-sided concrete and metal affair, in the center of which is a rig that was built to suspend a life-size taxidermed reproduction of a tiger shark ( Galeocerdo cuvieri ). The model itself was attached to this rig and by means of a motor hidden in the top of the structure would constantly whirl around and around and around in an endless succession of circles, convincingly mimicking the animal’s inbred and aggressive stalking technique prior to its sudden feeding charge. I might take a moment here to digress from my main point by observing I found this symbol of a shark (an authenticated man-eater no less) to be a pretty odd choice of beast to display at the entrance of one of this city’s most popular beaches. With its huge length, menacing dorsal fin and rows of prominent teeth, one would think this would be the last image anyone would wish to foist on a public about to head to the sea for a day of fun and frolic. Be that as it may, the model was hanging there and twirling for years and years. It is somewhat illustrative of the times it was erected I suppose. Years back sharks were little known beyond their savage image. A promoter could evidently woo more of the paying public into his attraction by offering them a glimpse of the alien and dangerous sea life lurking just off the shoreline than by hawking the ocean’s more peaceful and less menacing inhabitants. But as the Greek above reminds us, change is constant. Nowadays, sharks are seen in a more subdued, less frenzied light. Much more has been learned about their lives and behavior, and as with everything, fear of the unknown is replaced with the courage of knowledge. In our politically correct society we can ill-afford to malign any creature that swims, flies or crawls without first offending some over-zealous animal-lover. Thus, the time has come to take down the ferocious image of the hunter of the sea and in its place, display two playful – but more importantly – innocuous and politically correct bottlenose dolphins. This is what happened recently. As I drove onto the toll road just before the plaza, I could not help to notice a large truck parked at the bottom of the sign. Even as I watched workmen were struggling to attach the two aquatic mammals to the refurbished rig in the newly painted structure. Now sporting bright colors (the ubiquitous aqua-and-orange color scheme of this area) and a new neon-lit plastic sign, the structure has been reborn and beckons tourists with the promise of a fun and entertaining day at the marine park. But I still think I would prefer to look at that old menacing tiger shark. True, its paint job was in dire need of a new coat, the countless hours under the searing Florida sun had shrunk its faded skin until the metal ribs within began to protrude as if the poor thing was in extremis from want of prey. The once white threatening teeth were coated with a film of blackened soot belched from the tailpipes of the endless parade of cars passing below, and finally, the motor used to give it life had long since ceased to function or had simply been turned off so that the once animated fish was now frozen in one position. Still in all, I could always count on seeing it there, keeping an unblinking eye out for potential meals in the cull of traffic that funneled down to the several gates of the tollbooth. Aah, changes… they are sometimes hard to endure. --kak
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22,May,2004
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Several summers ago I found myself wandering the aisles of the library at the U of M’s Marine & Atmospheric Science School on the Key. It is one of the premiere centers of tropical marine research in the world and so has a first-rate science library as well. Every once and again, I like to wonder in and cruise the bookshelves, nosing into tomes of indecipherable scientific complexity. Sharing as most humans do, a fascination for pelagic creatures that are bold enough to swim right up to you and eat you, I was drawn one day towards the collection of books detailing the life and behavior of sharks. I am happy to report many works on this subject lined the shelves. My perverted attention was lured to the books that featured more illustrative content rather than narrative. I was certainly not disappointed. Ghastly photographic evidence of human trauma after shark encounters was there by the score and I shall refrain from detailing the images of mangled arms, legs, torsos &c. But the one photo which clearly beat them hands down, strangely did not involve a man-eating carcharodon at all. No, the photo in question was one of a captured Nile crocodile. It was a magnificent specimen, measuring well over fifteen feet. It had been captured and killed and it rested on its side on the muddy shore bank. Its massive pale underbelly had been neatly slit open from throat-to-anus and the contents of its stomach partially exposed. I had to blink twice and refocus my eyes before I was willing to concede what it was I was gawking at. There, staring back at me from the ruptured and partially-spilled guts of the mighty saurian beast was a human head! Apparently, some poor native had fallen prey to the croc not too long before and paid the ultimate price. Stomach acids had halfway digested the flesh from the skull, but enough remained to give a general impression of the previous owner’s features. The eyes, appearing to be closed, were in fact pulled wide due I suppose to the overall shrinkage of the skin. It gave the face a vague oriental look about it, as if the eyes carried the epicanthic folds of an Asian. The lips likewise were partially drawn back and open, exposing a rictal maw. Somewhere in the depths of that expression, frozen in death, you could vaguely make out its living counterpart. I would hazard to guess that the last expression of the unfortunate victim was somewhat alike with its teeth bared in an expression of pure terror. Now, the head in its present state was just an inanimate object, stripped of any aura of humanity. Who among us can even begin to conjure what nightmarish feelings this poor native was fated to endure as the creature’s vice-like jaws snapped shut around his head? Anyway, the image of that grisly item peering balefully from its frame of glistening viscera more than satisfied whatever latent Grand Guignol -type of fascination I possess for such things. --kak
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22,May,2004
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Suffice to say, I am only now–in my doddering middle age–beginning to appreciate (much less comprehend) the sheer scope and the myriad intricacies of the polyglot communication system we like to call the English Language. I fear my meager mental acumen can never hope to take in the entire exhausting extent and overwhelming range of our mother tongue as illustrated so inclusively by the size and heft of the Compact Edition Of The Oxford English Dictionary I proudly own and cherish. Not to leave the Americans out in the cold, I also own the Merriam-Webster’s Third International Unabridged Dictionary which looks and weighs as much as a paper elephant. I figure between these two monarchs in the world of the printed English lexicon I would never be at a loss for a ready reference to a particularly sticky morpheme. Alas, such is not the case. I have stumbled across one word which appears nowhere in either mammoth tome cited above. I found it in (of all places) our local rag-sheet: The Herald . It might further astound you to learn that it was printed in an article about fishing, deep in the Sports Section. The story contained the usual pabulum, of interest only to diehard Florida fishermen. Near the middle of the article was a short narration quoted by a local charter boat captain out of one of the many fine marinas hereabouts who was answering the reporter’s question about where the best place would be to find dolphin. He spoke of watching for “weedlines” on the surface of the sea, as it would be an indication that dolphins were near. Weedlines in this sense means large floating patches of sargassum. Without ever having seen the word before, I knew exactly what the good captain was talking about. One sees these peculiar floating carpets of gulfweed quite frequently in Biscayne Bay. I was intrigued by the word and so scrambled for my collection of dictionaries. First I tried the Webster’s 10th Colligate , as it is always close at hand and has the added benefit of not weighing as much as a downtown skyscraper. Nothing. Next, I tried the massive Webster’s (a modest 2,662 pages) from which the Colligate stems. Nothing. I then cracked open my two-volume Shorter Oxford English Dictionary , (a combined and staggering 3,801 pages) but once again was stymied. I finally had to go to The Source and pulled open the huge Oxford (a mind-blowing 22 volumes of 16,200 pages microfiched down to 4,116) and got to work with the supplied Bausch & Lomb lens. Would you believe it? After squinting into the reading glass for a few minutes, I came up with zero. The closest thing was the word: weedling, meaning a small weed or a slight person. Maybe I shouldn’t be all that excited and amazed to find a word whose inclusion into their famous book is denied by our stuffy English brethren. After all, language is a constantly changing entity. --kak
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03,June,2004
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A recent trip with some friends out West occasioned an inspired bit of whimsy which ended up as this scurrilous verse… --kak My beds are hard my pools are dry The lobby smells of curry The Coke machines are overpriced The toilet seats are furry The carpet stinks the locks don’t work Your car is broken into You must check out by ten o’clock Or face my good friend Vishnu You have no choice in where you stay Go try the next motel, sir You’ll find it run by relatives Of the Hindu Ray Patel, sir
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03,June,2004
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Oh the shame and humiliation! It happened after I had taken my obligatory rest on the edge of one of the docks at the marina. I walked out to the edge of the piers and sat down to drink my bottled water as I usually do. I finished and prepared myself for the journey back, in doing so I tried (foolishly as it turns out) to carry too many things in one hand. I had the bottled water, my Sony Walkman and their set of earphones with its tangled cord all jumbled together in one sweaty palm. But I forgot a very important lesson. I forgot the fact that I am somewhat dysfunctional. I must constantly be monitored so as to not cause harm to myself or those around me. But out on the dock yesterday, I had no one there who could supervise and so I set myself up for trouble. In the midst of trying to gather too many articles in one hand, the inevitable happened: one of the items fell from my grasp. As fate would have it, it was the Sony . I can remember thinking very clearly in that tenth of a second it took for it to slip from my fingers that I was presently standing in the center of the dock, equidistant from both edges. I said to myself, “Oh, that’s okay, I am safely away from the edge of the dock and the Walkman will not fall into the water. It will hit the concrete hard and probably sustain some minor abrasion on its plastic shell, but at least I can pick it up and be on my way”. Wrong!! As if daring the elemental laws of physics, the Walkman did something completely unexpected. It bounced! It bounced off the concrete deck of the pier like it was made of rubber! The word, “kinesis” is a wholly appropriate one to use in this instance. It means simply the sort of physical movement that lacks any sort of distinct directional orientation and is dependent upon the intensity of the stimulation applied to the object in question in determining its ultimate trajectory. Well, my stupid mishandling of the tape player certainly provided it with all the stimulation it needed and the kinetic energy released from the dropped Walkman dictated it should bounce in such a way as to allow it to rise again to the height of about three feet—but most importantly, not to fall back directly to the dock. No, it sailed in a perfectly conceived and executed arc until it easily cleared the edge of the dock and disappeared forever into the jade-green waters of Biscayne Bay! I couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t supposed to do that. It was suppose to hit the concrete and sit there. Holy crap!! I just lost my Walkman ! I looked around immediately afterwards to make sure no one had seen my embarrassing faux pas, but I needn’t have bothered. I was alone out there on the piers, accompanied only by my dysfunctionalism. There was that sudden sharp pang of loss, knowing that even if I possessed the courage and/or stupidity to take off my Nikes and socks and wade into the water from the boat ramps at the head of the docks, (it being extremely low tide and water depth was barely three feet at that point) it would be a useless act anyway because the salt water would have instantaneously damaged the delicate mechanisms inside the machine. So I just stood there with a now useless set of earphones in my hands and bowed my head at the tragedy of having unintentionally buried my dear friend at sea. And to double the pain and loss and sorrow, I had just committed one of my favorite cassette tapes to the deep along with the unit. My faithful Walkman was now a part of the bay – consigned to the watery depths to perhaps become a home for some tiny mullets or crustacæ. May they get as much pleasure from it as I had derived from almost four years of ownership… --kak
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07,July,2004
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Unique talents as coaxing insects into a shoebox – once learned and perfected – are never forgotten. This is a good thing for I was standing behind the circ desk at work yesterday minding my own when an urgent cry from my boss forced my attention in her direction. All I caught was her saying something about a woman back in the stacks who needed some help with a snake. I assumed naturally that it was a patron she was summoning me to with a question on a book about snakes. I walked out from behind the desk and went in search of the patron, mentally making note of where I could find the books on reptiles in non-fiction [598]. As I approached the elderly woman I could plainly see she was distressed. Her face was flushed, she had her hand (which was trembling slightly) to her throat, and she had the fear of death in her eyes. Clearly this was not the way most females react towards me when I approach them. It had to be a real snake we were talking about here, not a virtual one found on a picture in a book. I was correct. She managed to blurt out that there was a snake lurking on the carpet in front of the Large Print stacks and as she told me she kept turning her head round in that direction as if expecting the monstrous thing to glide around the aisle and attack her. She was so distraught that I had to take hold of both her arms to calm her down. I said I would see what I could do and moved along the stacks until I rounded the corner and saw with my own eyes the hideous thing that had so horrified her. From her attitude, I thought I was going to at the very least confront a thirty-foot Hydra with many hissing heads and I wondered just then if I shouldn’t have first run back to fetch a Heracles-type knobbed club with which to knock some of its many heads senseless. I didn’t even retain a faithful comrade like Iolaus to burn off the mangled stumps once I put the wood to them. But once I saw what confronted me, all thoughts of a fight to the death were put firmly to rest. What so terrified the old lady was indeed a snake, but one reaching no more than three inches in length with the circumstance of a thin knitting needle. Its flared head was about the size of the sulfurous head of a matchstick, but much less dangerous. I’ve encountered earthworms much bigger than this thing. After assessing the “danger” this poor bedeviled creature exhibited, I returned to the patron and told her I would take care of it. I eased her fears by saying she was in no imminent peril as the critter’s tiny mouth could hardly open wide enough to bite any part of her much less swallow her whole. Recalling now my successful dealings with the scorpions in my past, I went in the back room and reappeared with an old coffee cup and a wooden ruler. Returning to the reptile, I managed after a couple of attempts to herd it into the cup with a dexterous use of the ruler to gently help it on its way. I went out the back emergency exit door located nearby and overturned the cup into the grass, returning the dazed creature to its natural habitat. The old lady returned to hers: the mystery aisle. I returned to the circulation desk. --kak
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Capricorn
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22,May,2004
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urlLink If I look miserable, It's because I am! No Kipper to wrap his big arms round my waist as I close my eyes throw my arms out and imagine I'm flying... * you spewing chunks yet? * lol There are having a 'Pirate' theme this weekend..I have NO idea why and if anyone does feel free to post your answers :P I just know there are lots of ships and anchors. This Ship was like a little house, there was an inside area with benches in and little rope ladders all climbable from one deck to another. I had to hover up to the *hmmm? Technical term urlLink HIGH BIT! lol. This is the only one I've seen so far. Not been in There much, Kippers having RL problems and when he's kicked, I limp S So I just didn't fancy hanging about not being able to share my virtual life with anyone but my ownsome. He'll be back shortly tho and I'll get some mug shots for ya all!
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21,May,2004
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urlLink Found this huge tube on Fantasy Island, When you reach the end you free fall off the end of a cliff allowing you to do tricks all the way down. The ONLY thing that kinda spoils it is a sign the builder placed right at the exit which sorta knocks you sideways and there for doesnt allow you a full thrust exit. urlLink Another Pic
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20,May,2004
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urlLink Me in the Tyr Bone Yard. There recently released 250 houses in Tyr which doubles the games TOTAL number of houses. Owning a house in There is expensive and when I tell people who 'don't' play There that players are paying $200 REAL CASH to own a virtual house they then have to pay a further $10 - $17 a month for rental to There They are totally amazed. As am I to be honest. There is a great game and highly addictive but on a recent survey I did on a 'choose 5 ' sign. The average player is paying $50 a MONTH to play There if you include the Tbux sales. That MUST make There 'THE' most expensive online game on the world...Correct me if I'm wrong?
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20,May,2004
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urlLink Zeda n me shooting the breeze...shes always getting 'booted' and I end up talking to her ghost. Zeda came to There from TSO after I set her the 14 day trial link. We used to run 'simolean' making bots in TSO Shes currently designing for There and is doing mainly furniture..actualy that sofa and rug is some of her current designs. I admire her determination as I gave up on designing after we both got photoshop 7 I just thought ' nah!' tooo hard but she stuck at it and has made huge progress. Just lil
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20,May,2004
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urlLink lol THIS was a practical joke I played on urlLink Kipper whilst he was off line I sneaked into his account and treat his avie to a SPA treatment...hee hee added a few pounds and a nice sunbed tan...Looks like a FAT PINT OF GUINNESS rofl! I Yahoo IM'd him saying he 'had' to log into There NOW! I'd logged out of 'his' avie right in the middle of a busy SPA and waited for him to log in unaware...I watched as he looked around him and the first thing he said? ' How did I get here? ' ????? THEN... ' OMFG I'm FAT! ' * 2 mins later* ' OMFG I'm BLACK & FAT!!...You Fucking sick bitch! ' Laugh??? Well..I thought it was funny..I promptly joined him by adding 200 virtual pounds to my avie and we bounced about the beautiful people laughing all the way as Kipper past comment on how my avies ass was hanging down the back of my legs! ( Sorry no pics of me...My ego won't allow it)Oh Go on then urlLink one or urlLink two pics of me looking freaky!
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20,May,2004
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urlLink Welcome to my There blog site. I've seen these nifty journal type sites and wanted one for a while but I found one freeeeee *laughs at all those fools paying Tbux for theirs* Over the next for days * ahem * weeks then ok?! I'll be adding loads of urlLink There pics and journals about the game and my adventures when in There. It's an awsome game and * is this sad?* It's totaly changed my life! I NEVER watch TV anymore...thats godda be good right? And I'm also involved with web designing, urlLink photoshop designing and write for an online newspaper called The Motu Eagle. Me and urlLink Kipper met in TSO 8 months ago. I was so bored there after 1 year and we came to There and never looked back. We have just opened an in world business called There Pawn Brokers too...There provides so many different avenues to explore regards to software & internet hobbies...If it wasn't for finding There in March 2004 I wouldnt even know what a 'blog site' was.
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27,May,2004
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urlLink So this is IanEsor a very good friend *ahem* of mine & Kippers....I KNOW you don't believe Kipper exists , that he's a figment of my sad & lonely imagination...BUT I swear I'll get a shot of us together YET! Anyway...Ian & Kipper were driving through the desert..Very open and deserted and drove into a crevice..The ground changed from sand to a dark brown and then a mist appeared and it grew darker the further they ventured into this narrowing trough. Eventual they drove upto the back of a clubhouse and other small hut like buildings were dotted about. Dead trees poked up from the ground and bright red molten lava flickered on the ground. The huts had skulls and urlLink very gothical decor No one else was there but there was a billboard with PrOngs advertisement asking for souls for 500T$ * eeeekkkkkk* Was an interesting place and one I had never seen or heard of before. They got back in the buggy and soon drove out into a brighter greener landscape again and with some relief I think. Thanks to Cotton Candy for providing the name to this place lol...as detailed in her comments..hee hee.. My only saving grace is my description must of been good enough that she knew where I was on about haahaa
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26,May,2004
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urlLink Following recent personal events, I logged back into There today and arrived at the same place I left yesterday when i left swearing I'd never go back. My friend Kipper & I have sorted our differences out and after some miserable days, decided life whether it be real or virtual isn't 'as great' as it is when we have each other. This time when I landed in the Ocean were the Ship was * as detailed below* I could look round with a smile on my face and set off with a determined sense of adventure. Next to the ship that I found yesterday was a urlLink pyramid PAZ and I climbed it and balanced on one foot smiling Inside...Was a 2 level urlLink living quarter No stairs from one level to the other' you just some how beamed up onto your choice of seating. It was a little out of place stuck in the middle of the ocean but it would look awesome in Egypt which as yet hasn't really been expanded. Its a shame PAZ's aren't more private as in, you can lock the door and have some decision in who you want walking in and who you don't Apparently There has released some 'porta homes' Half PAZ half houses and there is more power regards to privacy and your right to refuse unwanted visitors. I decided to re open urlLink There Pawn Brokers and went to the busiest place in There to drop my urlLink 2 team score boards and generate some business. Whilst there joined a group of people chatting. One female avie kinda left me speechless with her constant demands for attention and her 'so obvious' tactics to get people to look at her profile & picture...By saying ' I was accused of using a false picture the other day as he said I didn't look my age at all..which was flattering' It Must of been a tactic that worked well cuz it had me looking too...And yes she was a lovely looking woman. But her written profile was all me me me me me, me modeling and 'This is a group photo so I cut my head out of the rest' *NUFF SAID* and how she had tried to make her avie as real to herself as possible * her words* round breasts, big cutes eyes, brown hair...but some how it didn't do her justice... * again HER WORDS * Some one asked me a question about Photoshop and she did an emote were by her avie looked at her watch in boredom as clearly she wasn't happy unless the conversation was about her and her looks It dawned on me no matter HOW beautiful a person was on the surface...The ugliness from within shone thru so VERY loud & clear in There and this girl placed far too much emphasis on her outward appearance in hope it would win her friends and attention...I suspect she was very lonely in real life. I left the group but b4 I did I asked her ' Have you ever heard of the Del a soul song 'Me, Myself & I?' and walked away....WOW she was like something you only read about in soap operas!!
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
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Capricorn
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26,May,2004
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urlLink Its a sad time for me & Kipper. We both found There together in March and met in TSO 8 months ago. We are no longer ' together' for reasons only me & he know about. I logged into There for a short while and was driving about in my UK buggy, the same one I bought Kipper and found this urlLink PAZ ship and took a look about it feeling very much alone. Inside was this room with lots of empty seats and and empty cage * Above* The owner has furnished it fantastically so I thought I'd include some pictures I took in this article. It had its own urlLink bedroom and even a urlLink crapper lol...I sat in there crying for a short while before I decided I didn't want to be alone in There anymore....Even when Kipper wasn't with me before he was with me in heart and I never felt alone knowing everything I found I could show him later..This was 'our' paradise...and now it just seems like one big empty vacuum and I miss him terribly......
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
|
25,May,2004
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urlLink NEED TBUX TODAY? FOR FREE? NO CASH INVOLVED????
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
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24,May,2004
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urlLink There Pawn Brokers | We pay Tbux To Players Every Day! This is my In World business. As Tbux is a constant requirement in There and there appears to be a shortage..Seemed an obvious thing to do. Now & again a player will see something in auction they want NOW and don't have the Tbux OR the REAL CASH to buy Tbux at that particular time. And so There Pawn Brokers provide instant Tbux for unwanted items they may have in their 'My Things' folder Yeah...They could still sell their stuff in auction BUT whether they sell AND how much they receive are 2 very important factors to consider. TPB will give instant guaranteed Tbux in the same day!
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
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24,May,2004
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urlLink This is The kinda passtime I & many other Therians enjoy. Buggy Racing. There are various types of tracks all urlLink custom built by players who host the events. I actualy came 3rd in this race * RARE EVENT* and was offered Tbux by SirTiger the event host for coming in 3rd. I kindly refused as now that here have canceled hosting 'credits' the winnings are coming out of the hosts pocket. he thanked me for refusing..If you host events in There its now an unspoken understanding how difficult it is to keep hosting great events like this and offering your OWN money as prizes. SirTiger is legendary in Buggy Hosting and the race I joined in above was a 5 lapped race..VERY long and normaly I get nudged and tipped over and come last on the shorter length races..but for some reason this longer styled race seemed to work in my favour! I was so proud lol as most of 'my' buggy driving is spent with my avies head in the ground and wheels spinning up in the air lol
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
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24,May,2004
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urlLink TAKING IN THE VIEWS WHILST WE STILL CAN!
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
|
24,May,2004
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THE END OF THERE.......OR IS IT? I was chatting to a friend in There on Sunday afternoon and he said something that at the time I sorta thought 'huh?' but didn't think much more about it...Something about 'was I staying until the doors were closed?' I assumed he meant there was to be an early maintenance that day, Then Much further on in the convo I asked about his designs and THAT'S when the proverbial 'shit hit the fan' Chustlee went on to say There had announced they were closing in 90 days! We had major lag at the time and connection problems and I lost him * looking back probably a strain on the servers as ALL the players logged in to try find out what was going on... Was it REALLY true..etc* And so offline I scanned the net for info and found various sources of statements including Theres official forum statement. It's all a bit confusing. 'There' have said they are NOT closing but following recent staff cutbacks they were no longer providing bug fixes or any more developments and were concentrating on their 'platform' To this day I don't know what the 'platform' means. I have read less official statements saying to buy some There property now whilst players panic and in a month this 'blip' will all be forgotten.... Were the '90 days' comes in I have yet to determine All of this has left me bewildered, angry and upset...Kipper paid for my annual account 3 months ago and I have invested a LOT of real money into the game as players are encouraged to do. And not being allowed to sell your account..Your investing direct into There Inc at the end of the day as you get no financial return on your investment and no opportunity to sell any of your virtual goods on for real cash... So us players have ultimately been 'investing' in the game on average aprox $50 a month per player if you include the Tbux sales. Now yes, this angers me but you what? I don't CARE about the loss of money ...and I am a LOT better off than those recent newer players who have bought fun zones and houses. One recently selling for 3 million Tbux ( yes that's $15,000 REAL US DOLLARS!) I bet he or she is delighted at this news! There 'is' a virtual paradise, everything is beautiful including yourself...Even the dogs don't poop. The scenery was amazing especially when in hover crafts the game engine for all vehicles was just about as good as you can get. I have NO faults with the game apart from the ugly 'I'm richer than you are' mentality that its economical structure created.....Were the designers and the RL wealthy people sat on their virtual thrones looking puzzled when those mere mortals dared to complain about Theres.coms lack of Tbux earning opportunities. It wasn't perfect..And for the kids who didn't have any money other than spending money..They DID have the 'know how' on how to hack into the system and so out of the desire to keep up with the beautiful people...defrauded and scammed within the game. Yeah yeah...lol..THAT was the ONLY problem...it generated virtual material snobbery...And I strongly suspect many of the so called ' fat cats' with the fun zones and the house and the latest gear and vehicles were probably in REAL LIFE very ordinary people who didn't have 'much' of a happy life really..for why else invest that much time & RL money into a 'pretend' life unless their real life was pretty shitty? Yes I know this will raise an eyebrow and I am by no means saying urlLink I am the exception to this theory ...I spend a lot of TIME in There due to health issues..I think ANYONE who spends more time in virtual than actual must be escaping something...And for this reason 'if' There is to close there are going to be a LOT of genuinely upset people. we will 'all' have to start over as noobies again now in a new virtual world which I know NOW will not match upto Theres standards.
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
|
03,June,2004
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urlLink When Kippers not online and Im in There alone I rarely speak to strangers. * Mummy brought me up well* I am a loner by heart and this is my time to poke about peoples houses & PAZs exploring players tastes without boring Kipper to death. So I set off today on urlLink my Bacio Firstly I found a small porta home with pussy cats both inside & urlLink out As you know we bought a large porta home but it only allows 10 items to be dropped inside and I'm beginning to wish we had got the smaller ones that allow more furniture drops especially after finding this urlLink small porta home named StarScape Studio by the owner because he felt it was urlLink furnished like a studio He had left a stereo out with spacey type music on which created an ambiance. Further urlLink down the road I decided to put on my hoverpack after seeing this urlLink amazing PAZ I'd seen it before and was glad Id found it again. This urlLink beauty takes up 5 Large Porta Zones JUST for the floating part which had separate rooms and urlLink glass bottomed floors & corridor's And to add to that the owner had added a urlLink HUGE glass garage I added it up and to keep all this lot out 24/7 ( yes I KNOW I drone on about the cost of keeping your PAZ out but really!) this player was paying aprox 8 x 6.5k a WEEK just to keep all this little lot out. So in REAL cash terms....hmmm? (counts fingers & toes) 52,000 tbux a week.. 208k a month and in CASH aprox $100 JUST to display this baby 24/7 in world....And what a baby it was..Truly beautiful . It puts all those There REAL Estate owners to shame. Now, whilst I was impressed with the flashiness of the last PAZ this next one REALLY had me hooked. It was positioned JUST were the light turns to dark and the fog kicks in creating a urlLink swamp like atmos Again the owners had left a stereo urlLink outside the property this time with oriental type pan pipe music. But what REALLY drew me to this urlLink TINY place was how very private it was. urlLink Dark & almost creepy but I loved it! It had a urlLink tiny kitchen area at one side a urlLink lounge in the middle with transparent screens allowing you views into the jungle behind you. And finally a urlLink bedroom at the other side. I had acquired a 'tag along' who must of got bored & bewildered with me as he left me there *after his pathetic attempt of sitting in the bed and emoting 'sexy & wink'* and I was 'that' impressed I left a tiki scroll on the roof complimenting the owners taste and begging them to tell me were I could find one. I REALLY want a dark deserted and VERY difficult house to intrude, for me & Kipper to hide away from the rest of the virtual world. And this ' water bunlgalow ' type PAZ was as perfect as I have found. So much so, my 2 story porta home is up for sale now :P
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
|
01,June,2004
|
urlLink This is a favorite pastime of me & kippers. urlLink Avie Football Its a urlLink harmless way to take out a little tension from real life and the urlLink views can be great! I spent part of the day alone on Sunday looking for my purple heather hills and urlLink YAY! I found a place to drop the urlLink porta house Thing is, for every hour you leave your PAZ out ( place were you can drop all your items ) you pay tbux and if that's 24/7 thats 6.5k tbux a week OR 26k a month. In real money thats aprox £13 and when I played The Sims Online £13 is about what it cost you to play the WHOLE game per month...so call me a skin flint but I aint paying THAT just to play 'part of a game' So I took urlLink one last look about and packed it back up again. I decided its been a while since I flashed the urlLink Red White & Blue Bike about and found a great urlLink bike track by Ponder but was too hard for me lol...i still can't get the revs right and my mouse is totaly unresponsive to the urlLink tight bends So I found a different place to wave the urlLink UK flag and Kipper met me and we raced each other ( I won AGAIN ) much to his frustration.... urlLink who loves ya baby!?
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
|
30,May,2004
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Teacher urlLink SO Sunday morning me & Kipper settled into our new home and domestic bliss settled in with us. We sat reading urlLink newspapers in bed Then pottered about me buying and fixing screens up against the 2 doors to stop intruders 'intruding' as Kipper got bored and let the dogs out...And through gritted teeth asked him ' sweety? Please can you put the dogs away?' as they yapped about my feet and ran in and out of the screens I was loosing patience with. Once the DIY had been done we packed our porta home away and set off on the urlLink Bacio Bikes again. And ended up at the Dune Buggy races. Me and Kipper ended up in an head to head race as I ranted about how I would NEVER race with him again convinced he purposely nudged me over leaving me 'tits up' and head in the sand as he skidded off leaving a trail of sand behind him.. He won one race...I won the last * just * and then he announced urlLink 'F1 Racing' was on TV and he was tired... So it's official.... The urlLink Honeymoon period is over.
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
|
30,May,2004
|
urlLink So..its weekend and after release of the urlLink Bacio Bikes There also released the Porta Homes. *above* Me & kipper spent some quality time urlLink talking and decided to venture off to find pastures green on our urlLink hoverboat finaly landing in a location both green and with amazing views from the urlLink balcany Porta Homes arent 'as good' as the real Houses in There. you cant simply lock the door to do some of urlLink this in private but you CAN maybe put a screen over the doors...or in our case..maybe hammer some planks of wood over the windows and doors to stop unwanted and usualy bored people walking in and talking about themselves over your coffee table for an hour! lol We have had many variations of PAZs from the floating decks in Tyr to SkyScrapers but the Porta Homes 'DO' almost look real infact where we positioned ours..to the untrained eye, we blended right in with the 'real' There houses...so much so when we logged in later, 2 other porta homes had become our neighbours. I wonder what the $500 real estate owners of There houses feel about us trailer park trash landing our porta zones on their doorsteps... Kipper began to build a camp fire and stack a pile of burning tyres...whilst I browsed the auctions for pitbull terriers and an old Ford Cortina we could place on bricks and leave in the garden More pics to follow of inside our new home.
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
|
12,June,2004
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urlLink Hi , I've got a few PAZs I want to share with you as it seems to be a fav pastime of mine. You know when you walk passed a RL house/window and you JUST can't help taking a peep inside? ( or is that just me? ) well...In There you can just walk into almost ANY virtual home and snoop about admiring or insulting the owners taste. So I'm thinking of dedicating the whole site to just that. 'There Home's & Gardens' ..What do you think? Is it just 'MY' fetish or would you be interested too? Anyway..Cast your beady eyes on this little lot before you decide. The first home is another newly released porta home owned by 'djflip' urlLink The Outside was kinda normal But urlLink inside was impressive. Obviously MALE urlLink But I loved it ! Later on I found urlLink Mercedes building her PAZ extention to her REAL There house. I snooped about inside and took shots. The great thing I liked about it was how add on PAZ build items can separate a house..Give it 2 levels or a backroom urlLink Image 1 urlLink image 2 There is little difference to a medium porta home to a real There house apart from the privacy and the fact that when you enter the porta zone which the porta home is dropped in, you get a pop up welcoming you to a Large Porta Zone. ( too many 'porta' words in that paragraph?) I saw some TEST PORTA ZONES' in There Central the other day. It advised they were semi private ( didn't say how so ) but that they hadn't been tested and could be buggy..The auction had reached 30k at that point and an ordinary Porta Zone sells for aprox 2k. I nearly bought one but I'll wait to hear the lowdown first...30K is a lot on an item that may well turn out to be crapola. I was invited to attend Cotton_Candy's urlLink house warming event CC OWNS a REAL HOUSE!! urlLink (posh) she's a peach though and one of those people who just bring the best out in other's. The last PAZ I wanted to share with you is owned by StormKitty and she had great taste and a sense of humor based on her urlLink welcome scroll The urlLink external building was a revamp of the original skyscrapers and was made to look more like bamboo than steel. It Had the same urlLink drop options ins ide and she had made it look really co-ordinated and beautiful. urlLink Outside StormKitty had added a urlLink TreeHouse complete with an old dinosaur urlLink who I took a bit of a shine to
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3,398,028 |
female
| 35 |
Marketing
|
Capricorn
|
11,June,2004
|
urlLink I was feeling kinda chatty and as I like the sound of my own voice who better to talk to that a couple of 'crash test dummies' I found these two looking about on the floor for their pants..seems they had been playing behind the back of the coliseum :) Well..It's been a while since I posted here and i have SHIT LOADS of pictures urlLink (mainly Bacio Bike shots) which I'm SURE you must be sick to death of by now? Regardless... urlLink heres another Id heard about the space station from other sites and players but was kinda urlLink disapointed in all honesty..what?? Oh I know! Another Bacio pic :P hahaha It was OK but by the time Id found it Id already seen smaller versions of it in Tyr other players had built so it lost its novelty factor. So I kissed urlLink Kipper Goodnight and called it a day. Since the release of the Bacio we have found so much more of There...will spend hours just driving about urlLink exploring Were as before we only teleported to places & events. I will be adding a MUCH more detailed post soon including some new finds and our Oro Lounge Break In ( yes I KNOW we aren't the first LOL) But for now...Kipper is picking me up in RL to goto his new flat and sort his life out....tusk! Men! :)
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