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1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,October,2003 | Yes, it's Monday, and the first day of my last week of my first 12 week BFL challenge... (How's that for confusing?) I'm feeling UP UP UP!! I rolled over in bed this morning and thought.. Oh my god! I'm sore! But then I got up and walked around a bit, and it turned out to just be a little stiffness, not 'real' sorness. My 'pelvic floor' is a bit saddle sore, and my hips have a bit of lingering twinges but otherwise I feel FANTASTIC. The fact that I can have a day like yesterday and still feel HUMAN afterwords has made the last 11 weeks well worth it! THEN, I was leaving my house this morning and my neighbor was standing on the porch having his morning ciggy. I don't see him often as he works nights, me days so when we do say 'hello' it's usually when one or both of us is running in or out the door. I got a cheery 'Good Morning' and a 'How are you doing?' then he says, 'Have you lost weight?'. I'm sure I BEEMED because, as I've said before NO ONE has said anything up 'til now. After I acknowldged him, he said 'I thought so, I was sitting here thinking, man, she looks DAMN good.' I'm not sure how to take my neighbor thinking I look DAMN good, but hey I'm glad someone noticed.. My day is going as 'planned' I had a GREAT breakfast of cream of wheat with protien powder.. NUMMY. I've got yogurt and protien for 'snack' and a salad with SPICY chicken for lunch. This is going to be a greener, then green week my friends.. you can count on it! Oh, and my waist was down to 35' this morning, hips to 45.5' Yay! Today I CHOOSE to lose weight! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,October,2003 | I fell hard this weekend. I kept loosing my focus and sight of my goals and then today, I turned it around! Lets start with Friday. All the crap at work just can crashing down on my head. After lunch with my boss it was all I could do just to sit upright. I was a zombie for the rest of the afternoon. I got home, and just curled into a little ball of misery. My fianc managed to coax me out of my shell by waving a piece of pizza under my nose! After drowning my sorrows in pepperoni and cheese, I thought I was finally ready to take control again. We spent some time discussing my goals and I was ready once more! Unfortunately, the damage was already done, and I had a red day! L Saturday came and I drove 130 miles to see my daughter play in a water polo tournament. Seeing those girls in the pool inspired me all the more! I was ready to dive in the pool myself, swimming has always been MY sport. When I got home, though I was ready, willing and able to go out and spend some quality ADULT time with my sweetie. We went to an Irish Pub and my goals flew out the window again! Almost faster then I could think I had ordered a Black and TanBEER! Another day in the tank. Today I woke up, with my goals fixed in my mind. I packed our bags with nuts, powerbars, apples and bananas rolled in protein powder and water, and then OFF we went to tackle some hills with out bikes. It was a BEAUTIFUL fall day. Not too hot, not too cold. 26 miles!! Thats right I put 26 miles (give or take) on my bike today. We started in Occidental and the trek started UPHILL. Neither of us made it to the top (we had to get off and push). But we WIZZED down into the beautiful Coleman Valley. We peddled past rolling meadows and ancient barns. The fall colors were amazing. Then back up some KILLER hills. All my training started to pay off, for as my fiance struggled (and HES always been the avid biker) I was ready to keep on peddling (and sometimes did). Not only did I feel I had gotten a payback from all the workouts in a physical sense, but mentally, all those times I did one more rep, one more interval, one more lap, one more step payed off too. More then once I gutted my way to the top of a hill, legs and lungs burning! The joy of speeding down the other side was 10 times more exhilarating knowing I had pushed myself to the fullest! We finally made it down the other side and headed toward the coast. We flew down one AWSOME downgrade and near the bottom at about the 10 mile mark I heard a poof---ssssssssssss My fiances back tire had blown! Ripped the valve stem right off the tube, and us with no spare! We ended up walking a good portion of Highway 1 into Bodega Bay where we managed to jerry rig something to get us the rest of the way back. Still, the views of the ocean were magnificent, and the coastal breeze, perfect. The rest of the trip took us along Highway 1, Bodegea Highway (through Bodega where they filmed Alfred Hitchcocks the Birds), and the Bohemian Highway. We passed rolling fields full of cattle, race horse ranches, and through a beautiful redwood forest. I couldnt believe that I finished up with even MORE energy with when I started! Then, when I got home, I did my upper body workout so that Saturday wouldnt be a RED day! I finally fell like all the work Ive been doing these past months, MEANS something. Im focused. This last week of my challenge will be STELLER and Im ready to face whatever comes after it! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 17,October,2003 | My fiance and I had a little talk about my goals, beyond loosing weight. I want/need his buy in. He's a major stakeholder in this project so I sat and listened to his ideas and ideals and figured out how they fit in with mine. It turns out we're pretty much on the same page, YAY! He even dropped a few names of women he thought were 'strong yet feminine... like.. Rachel McLish and Lisa Lyon. We actually had a pretty cool time looking through pictures of buff ladies and finding physiques we BOTH liked :) Of course I have a LONG way to go... But every journey starts with a single step! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,October,2003 | I had a nice strong leg workout last night. My legs are sore today and I have no doubt that its a good thing. My good mood continues. Something I vented must have needed to get out because Ive felt great ever since. Thank you to everyone who shouted and/or emailed me. It was MUCH appreciated. I have a meeting today with my bosses boss (and owner of the company) so perhaps well iron some things out, and I know if Im to go, or stay. It may be that I spend the weekend posting my resume on a plethora of job sites. I took action on my foot issue last night as well and found a few interesting ideas on rehabilitating planter fasciitis, and strengthening ankles. I also found awesome information on how to tape my foot to prevent further straining the planter fascia. All that combined may get me off the track and back on the streets, AND allow me to train for a 5K and eventually I may be able to think about a marathon again! THAT has got me excited. All positive steps forward. I also spent some time thinking about the whole visualization issue. Im working on seeing my body in a positive light, and toward forming an idea of what I can/will look like. Im going to spend a little time each day relaxing and reinforcing that image in my mind, so that I can get that goal firmly fixed. Who was it that said You have to believe to achieve? Im starting to understand that statement and put it use. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,October,2003 | Ok, I finished my last post, and then went out for a walk. Cleared my head a bit. First, a confession. I overslept and then rushed out of the house this morning, without food! So I stopped at the quickstop for breakfast. I was standing in the Asle looking at all the protien bars and grinding my teeth at the $3.00 price tag when I looked down and saw... POP TARTS! and they were only 75 cents! Without even a second thought I grabbed them, payed and rushed out the door to eat them! Yes, it was a bad choice. Yes it wasn't planned. But I think that will be my 'cheat meal' for the week. I will not let it derail me, not for the week, not for the day, not even for an hour. I'm back on plan with a nice chicken salad for lunch. (Can I justify it partially by saying they were STRAWBERRY pop tarts!? lol!) Secondly, I went back and looked (again) at my older journal entries. There was something I remembered putting there that I needed to see again.. Here it is... My notes and thoughts on George Leonard's Book called 'Mastery, The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment'. Basically, here's how I've applied his thoughts to my goal of weight loss and fitness. Key 1: Instruction I suppose a great deal of the blame for my failure to achieve 'mastery' of my weight loss and fitness goals has been my lack of choosing an Instructor. Sure, I'll choose one for a while, but it usually doesn't last, and before long, I've moved on to some other method or teacher. Of course, there is a time and a place to move on, but I know I never have REALLY made a commitment. I'm not sure if I should decide now, how long to give this (BFL) to work, or wait. For now, I suppose it's enough that I've committed 12 weeks. Key 2: Practice At first, I thought this didn't apply. But then, I realized, at least in the realm of exercise or fitness, there is a time for practice. Then it came to me that in diet too there is practice. It just happens to be on that occurs every day. Sometimes every minute of every day. The key is, as they say, 'Staying on the Path'. 'To practice regularly, even when you seem to be getting no where.' Key 3: Surrender This was easy for me to spot as a problem area for me. Even when choosing a plan, I was constantly making my own modifications to it. I'm still doing that. Instead of accepting the teachers plan, I choose the parts I like and ignore the rest. There will be a time and place for that, but, for now, I'll cease to be 'Player of all, Master of none' Key 4: Internationality Much of this is - practicing with purpose, but also there was a great deal here that has to do with visualization. Visualization is something I may currently have a problem with. Sure I can see myself exercising, eating correctly, and even running effortlessly, but I cannot, yet, visualize myself as thin toned, and in shape. I'm not even sure how to start. I can't remember ever feeling proud of my body, so I don't even have memories to go on. I'll continue to visualize what I can, and maybe the rest will come to me. It's something to research at the very least. Key 5: The Edge I'm not even close to looking over the edge... It may be years before I am... and I'm happy that way, for now. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 14,October,2003 | Why is it, when I struggle the most, it seems I blog the least? I think it's pride. This sense that I have that I have to be 'strong'. Add to that the feeling that I have that I shouldn't 'burden' others with my own pitiful whinings... and there you have it! :) Yesterday was one of those days that's colored with dull browns and grays. Fall is here, my body and spirit seem to know it, and every time the fog rolls in, I feel bleak. I did manage some cardio yesterday. Just a walk, but with the way my quads have been feeling, perhaps I needed the break. I also ate clean. Clean by my own standards... I've been getting frustrated, and perhaps a bit jealous (Ross and Petra *grin*) that NO-ONE has noticed my weight loss. How's that for an extraordinariless transformation? Yes, my fianc notices.. but he's the only person in the world who sees me naked. I was telling myself that it was because 1) I work with mostly men and 2) They see me every day... BUT, yesterday I went to lunch with a friend whom I haven't seen eight weeks. She didn't say a WORD! Maybe I was just THAT good at camouflaging my weight? I know I shouldn't base my journey on others, but still it would be nice to get SOME kind of kudos from someone who doesn't KNOW I'm trying to loose weight. I've also been fighting a frustration with my job. The situation is a little complicated in that, I'm a consultant working full time at one client. The client, I love. They give me exciting, challenging work that uses me to my full potential. Unfortunately, my company, does not pay me what I'm worth, nor do they acknowledge the skills I'm using and have developed. Even after passing my test, they still treat and pay me as a simple System Administrator (Not that there is anything wrong with being an administrator, but I haven't done actual technical work in over two years, it's all been project management) The issue isn't just the pay. There is also the fact that SOME day this contract will end, and I'll be 'brought back into the fold' and expected to go back to System Administration, a job I feel I'm no longer suited for. (Step away from technology for as little as 6 months and you've lost MILES) So, I'm fighting having to leave a client I love, so that I can pursue my career. The future is currently unstable and I hate that. THEN I hear that if/when I DO get another job is when my company is likely to move mountains to keep me to stay... I won't. I'm not sure what any of the above have to do with my journey to fitness. I just know that I feel as if I'm currently on a journey of self discovery. A journey that seems to be taking a very circuitous rout. I feel a little lost and in desperate need of a road map. That lost feeling is spilling over into my diet and exercise. At the moment I feel... goal-less. I've been so disappointed so far when it comes to reaching goals that I've left off setting any. And yet, I KNOW I need them... I'm a person driven by goals. Perhaps that's why I feel so lost right now... I've been driven for 9 months with the goal of passing that test.. I have.. now what? Hmmm.. I hadn't thought of that until right now. Body wise, I'm thinking that perhaps I'll start setting some fitness goals rather then body/weight goals. Fitness goals I can control, I can achieve.. my body.. well it seems to have a mind of it's own. I feel good about my pushups. That's probably the ONE good thing I've picked out of my workout. For cardio.. I'm thinking perhaps I'll start training for a 5k or something similar. My only issue with that is my darn foot. I have GOT to find a way to rehabilitate it so that I can run on pavement again....That and overcoming the issue of the upcoming wet/cold season and lack of lighting... Bah! I've too much yet to work through, but I'm making a start... Thanks for letting me vent! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 14,October,2003 | I had an oops during my upper body workout, that turned into a 'right on'! I was going through my workout. Kind of 'in the zone'. I've been doing it enough that I thought I had it pretty much memorized, and I only needed to use my log for slight reminders. So I finished my back, and flipped to the next page, assuming it was biceps. I loaded on the weight that I read there and did my first set of twelve. I immediatly started getting a little down because it was rather hard. I loaded on the next set of plates and tried to do my second set of ten. I was really getting bummed because it was all I could do to belt out that set! I finally looked over at my log and realized I was supposed to be doing SHOULDERS! I turned over to my 'normal' bicep routine and saw that the weight I had just done two sets at was DOUBLE what I had been doing on bis! So, I left that weight on and did a KILLER bicep workout! I was so inspired I upped the weight on my triceps too. I've got to figure out a way to add more weight to my chest excercises... OR.. maybe I'll switch my first excercise to flyes since that one seems to fatigue me faster... I did 7 pushups in a row!!! I don't know where this inner strength is coming from but.. MAN I LOVE it! I think I'm going to sit back and imagine fat burning for a while and see if I can get my body to listen! :) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,October,2003 | I finally got back into the routine of planning my meals. This 'flying by the seat of my pants' thing was getting unnerving! I have food ready for tomorrow and I am ready to finish this 2 week sprint to the end of my FIRST TWELVE WEEKS! That's right, in two weeks I'll have finished my first 12 week challenge...The first of many, I'm sure. But there is something about COMPLETING that first one... In truth, I never really thought I would make it this far, and yet.. here I am! And there I continue to go! 14 |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,October,2003 | I'm read this GREAT book by George Leonard called 'Mastery, The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment In it he has a chapter called 'Why Resolutions Fail - and What to do About it.' I thought I would share some of this with you all as I'm sure you could relate... His answer to why resolutions fail is Homeostasis or 'The ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes'. So, when we starting making changes, especially DRASTIC changes, Internally, Homeostasis kicks in, and makes us feel uncomfortable, so that things can remain 'status quote Externally, our family, friends, and/or coworkers may rebel in an effort to maintain the 'sameness' of their life, and/or their relationship with you. (Please understand I am paraphrasing). So how do we fight Homeostasis? Here are his tips... 1. Be aware of the way homeostasis works. This might be the most important guideline of all. Expect resistance and backlash. Realize that when the alarm bells start ringing, it doesn't necessarily mean you're sick or crazy or lazy or that you've made a bad decision. In fact, you might take these signals as an indication that your life is definitely changing -- just what you've wanted. Of course, it might be that you have started something that's not right for you; only you can decide. But in any case, don't panic and give up at the first sign of trouble. You might also expect resistance from friends and family and co-workers. (Homeostasis, as we've seen, applies to social systems as well as individuals.) Bear in mind that an entire system has to change when any part of it changes. So, don't be surprised if some of the people you love start covertly or overtly undermining your self-improvement. It's not that they with you harm, its just homeostasis at work. 2. Be willing to negotiate with your resistance to change. So, what should you do when you run into resistance, when the red lights flash and the alarm bells ring? Well, you don't back off, and you don't bull your way through. Negotiation is the ticket to successful long-term change in everthing from increasing your running speed to transforming your organizaiton. The fine art of playing the edge in this case involves a willingness to take one step back for every two forward, sometimes vice versa. It also demands a determination to keep pushing, but not without awareness. Simply turning off your awareness to the warnings deprives you of guidance and risk damaging the system. Simply pushing your way through despite the warning signals increases the possibility of backsliding. You can never be sure exactly where the resistance will pop up. A feeling of anxiety? Psychosomatic complaints? A tendency toward self-sabotage? Squabbles with family, friends, or fellow workers? None of the above? Stay alert. Be prepared of serious negotiations. 3. Develop a support system You can do it alone, but it helps a great deal to have other people with whom you can share the joys and perils of the change youre making. The best support system would involve people who have gone through or are going through a similar process, people who can tell their own stories of change and listen to yours, people who will brace you up when you start to backslide and encourage you when you dont. 4. Follow a regular practice. People embarking on any type of change can gain stability and comfort through practicing some worthwhile activity on a more or less regular basis, not so much for the sake of achieving an external goal as simply for its own sake. The circumstances are particularly happy in case youve already established a regular practice in something else before facing the challenge and change of beginning a new one. 5. Dedicate yourself to lifelong learning We tend to forget that learning is much more then book learning. To learn is to change. Education, weather it involves books, body, or behavior, is a process that changes the learner. It doesnt have to end at college graduation or at age forty or sixty or eighty, and the best learning of all involves learning how to learn that is to change. The lifelong learning is essentially one who has learned to deal with homeostasis, simply because he or she is doing it all the time |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,October,2003 | I'm a little low in the enthusiasim department today. Non-body related stuff has me down, work etc. It's left me with little energy for outside stuff. Planning an upper body workout tonight. I've gotten to the point where my workouts don't depend on weather I 'feel' like it or not. I'm tired, cranky, and unenthused, but I'll do it anyway. Much like Ed I was a 110% or nothing kind of gal for so long... It used to be that if I didn't feel like working out, if I wasn't BOUNDING my way to the gym and ready to give every ounch of who I was.. I just didn't go. Now I realize that I need to workout, weather or not I 'feel' like it. 1 - because it usually makes me feel better and I usually end up giving 110% in the end anywawy. and 2 - because every MOMENT I'm doing something is another step in my journey. Yeah, I might be walking, or even CRAWLING rather then running, but I'm still moving and in the correct direction. I checked my body fat measurement again today, just to make sure that had gotten an 'accurate' (accurate as is possable on a scale) reading. It came up 38.6% again, so I'm pretty confident in that number. And yes, that means I've lost 12.5lbs of fat and gained 5.6lbs of muscle in four weeks. So, when does this muscle I've been gaining, fianlly start doing it's job and start burning more fat!? lol Overall, in 10 weeks, I've lost 28 lbs of fat, and gained 12.5 lbs of muscle. I still find myself sore on a regular basis, so I feel like I'm pushing myself. I'm still on fire... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,October,2003 | Had a great day today, though it started off a little tough. I got up this morning and went for a run. It was a beautiful day.. just an amazing display of the 'dog days of summer'. I desided on not doing HIIT and just went for a jog around the track at a steady pace. It was a nice change and a GREAT feeling workout. I think I averaged a 12 minute mile and sustained it the whole time, wich is a BIG improvement for me. BUT, when I finished and went to do a sprint to finish it off I felt a sharp pain in my quad. I went for as long as I could, but it was too painful to keep up. I limped my way home. Even after my shower my quad was hurting. It was actually hard as if I it was a cramping. I took some advil and was worried about the lower body workout I had planned. We spent the day in San Francisco, walking ALL over the place. Aparently that was exactly what I needed because my leg started loosening up. I still wasn't sure about my lower body workout, but when I got home I desided I could at LEAST do my ab workout. Then I thought 'dead lifts can't hurt'... Once I had gone through all the trouble to drag out the weights I figured I may as well TRY squats. I desided on sumu (sp?) squats because I now that those tend to focus on the inside of the legs instead of the front of the quad where I was hurting. To my amazement I was able to do them!! I did a COMPLETE lower body workout!! I was SO proud of myself. I'm sitting here doing the Happy Happy Joy Joy dance... I hardly even know myself, overcoming all this crap and getting my workouts done. Who IS this woman?? I kind of like her. :) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 11,October,2003 | I just HAD to bounce in here and actually put into words my two pieces of GREAT news. 1) Did my upper body workout tonight, while lifting weights I felt tired, and rather week, BUT when I did my pushups I did 5 That's right 5!!! pushups.. I'm 1/2 way there! Then, after resting a bit, I actually did 2 more. *grunting and doing my incredible hulk pose* muahahahah! 2) After showering I desided that it was time to check my BF% - The only way for me to do that is to get on my scale.. BUT.. the Body Fat part of it is a special program.. so I set it, got on, and closed my eyes when it displayed the weight. The last time I checked my BF% was on 9/29 and it was coming up 42.9%, this time.... 38.6% and that was without even adjusting my mesurments from last time! Considering I started measuring the end of July and I was at 50% or higher I'm SO stoked!! Today was exactly what I needed to keep on pushing myself. Just that little kick in the pants. I'll be taking pictures tomorrow, but it will be on film, so I'll have to have it developed... maybe I'll snap some webshots just to preview. I don't know that the changes will be that visiable on the outside, but at the moment, I don't really care! Flying high and ready for the new week!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 10,October,2003 | Still sore today. I can't believe how sore my abs ARE... Must be from doing crunches on the swiss ball. Two victories today. 1) My knee high suede boots zipped up with MUCH less effort. 2) My suede skirt is loose. One thing I LOVE about leather is that it doesn't lie. When it fits.. it fits, when it doesn't.. it certainly isn't because it shrunk! Things are moving right along. Will be an interesting weekend as my 15 year old is visiting. I'll have to take her out for a run with me. She plays water polo though, so I doubt I'm stronger, or in better shape then she is. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 09,October,2003 | I'm getting ready to hop into bed, so I think it's safe to call today GREEN. One thing - Sprints/Leg workout/HIIT Run on three consecutive days.. a sore body does make!! My quads, hams, gluts, and Obloquies, oh and abs are ALL sore! I'm just a bundle of pain from just above my navel.. down. Every time I move I find a new place that hurts, but I'm ok with that! I'm still finding myself down. I'm not feeling as if I'm getting the same 'extraordinary results' as I did the first six weeks. And yet I KNOW I'm not slipping into ordinary measures. I think, perhaps, that my body is just changing in much more subtle ways. That's what I keep telling myself at least. Still, the question of weather or not I'm getting results has me evaluating every workout to make sure I really am honestly giving it my all. And I AM. I'm also finding the mirror to be a very frustrating tool. I can't seem to see past all the 'bad' areas. I look and I see all the progress yet to be made and I get frustrated and impatient. One thing it DOESN'T make me want to do is quit!!! I'm here for the long haul. However long that haul might be. Now that my first set of 'goal jeans' kind of fit, I've pulled out another pair. When those fit, I've got the next pair lined up, and when those fit.. umm well we're treading new ground. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,October,2003 | Still here, still fighting... The next few days should be interesting. Tomorrow is my fiance's birthday, and I've been busy buying presents, planning a small get together, etc. I actually have to get up EARLY tomorrow just to get my upper body workout in, ICK! Doesn't the time change sometime soon!? As I've said before I have/had planter fasciitis in my feet. Last night, for the first time, I did SINGLE calf raises, and there was a NOTICABLE difference in the stability between my right and left leg. My right foot has been the one that's been giving me cronic pain (Though it's been TONS better since I've been excercising regularly). While doing calf raises it was evident that the supporting structure of my right foot is WAY behind my left. This, of course, only exasperates the plater fasciitis, as it's the rolling of my ankle inward and collapsing of my (surprisingly high) arches that causes it. So, now I'm wondering if there Are there excercises I can do to strenghten my ankles, and or foot? I imagine that the calf raises are a biggy, and I'll continue to do them singularly to make sure that I'm not over compensating for my 'bad' foot. I'm thinking that I should get some sort of step to do them on, so that I'm getting a full range of motion. Other then that, are there other things I could do? I have the stretches that the Dr recomended, and I take my anti infamitories, but these are designed to aliveiate the problem once it's occured, NOT prevent it in the first place (typical american medicine). |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,October,2003 | I just finished my lower body workout. Boy was it a screemer! *Note to self - don't do sprints before a lower body workout* I've been making a point to work through my frustrations of this morning. I was so temped to belay my fears of no progress by jumping on my scale this morning, but I kept hearing Marie's words in my head 'I want you to learn to trust your hard work'. That's the rub. You see, I DON'T trust my hard work. At least not yet! I keep telling myself, 'Look at how far you've come!'. And then my evil alter ego (Perhaps relaited to compost man?) says 'Yes, but look how far you have to go!' And yet I HAVE come far, in more then just weight. I scrolled through the blogs I posted my first week... 'Monday, July 28, 2003, 12:53 PM- I weighed in at 202.5 today. I can't stand the thought that I'm over 200 once again. I swore this wouldn't happen more then once. why do I constantly let meyself down? Why is it so hard for me to say 'no'. I need to figure out this mentality of mine. ' 'Monday, July 28, 2003, 9:13 PM- Well, it looks like I made it through the day. I ate 6 small meals and stayed on plan. I wish I felt better about it, but at the moment I just feel hungry. I'm pretty sure I need to drink more water. Perhaps that's where my hunger is coming from. But, I did make it through the day. ' 'Tuesday, July 29, 2003, 10:19 AM - It's morning - I made it through 1 entire day. 1 down 83 to go. I'm hoping that eventually I get a burst of energy, and some motivation and start to feel some HOPE. At the moment I just feel so let down. Everything I've tried has failed... I just don't want this to fail too.' I've come a long long way from 'Just getting through the day'! The results will come, they have to.. I'm not a girl who will take no for an answer! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 07,October,2003 | I haven't done much today so, not much to report, but I wanted to get an early update in here. I've been feeling a little cranky here. Feeling the withdrawl from my scale. I really think I'm going to need those progress pictures this weekend. The good news is, my daughter is going to be here, so I'll be able to get her to take them with a REAL camera. Of course that means that it will be a few days until I get them back. I'm anxious to see if I've made much progress in four weeks. I guess I'm MORE the anxious.. I NEED to see some progress. I have this feeling that things are going to get harder for a little while here. I've dropped a lot of fat, and lost a lot of inches. I still have a long way to go, but I suspect that the changes are going to be more subtle from here on out. And for a goal oriented person like myself. That could mean trouble. I need to reread my book on Mastery, I'll have to remember that there's pleasure in the platue, and that sometimes we have to regress a little in order to move forward. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 07,October,2003 | Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed. I wasn't feeling good. My stomach churned everytime I ate, I ached from head to toe, and I was completly wiped out and couldn't figure out why. It wasn't until late in the evening that I realized that TOM had come to visit! Normally I'm waiting for the booger, but I guess with the stress of testing... he just snuck up on me (and he was 4 days early too) The surprising thing is, and again I don't know if I was just so involved in studying that I didn't notice, but I didn't have a single day last week where I went.. 'Hmmm.. PMS!' I'm hoping that the diet, excercise and suplimentation is making a difference. I know that I only had one 'depressed' day all last month, and for someone who used to spend a week in the dolldrums, that's a major accomplishment! Today was an insane day at work.. one meeting after another, then my run, then shopping for my fiance's birthday, then dinner... etc.. so that it's 11:00pm and I'm just now getting a chance to stop in. The good news is that I'm GREEN! (Was yesterday too actuallyeven feeling like crap) Nutrition was spot on today! I had a little hiccup on my run. As I said, I was in a hurry, tons of things to do, but my run was #1 priority. So, I changed as soon as I got home and rushed out, headed to the track. I was 1/2 way there when I realized that once again I had forgotten my watch! At first I thought I would do what I did last time... just count to 60 for each interval, but that was rather hard to do. Instead I thought, why not shake things up a bit... try something different... no one says I HAVE to do HIIT EVERY cardio session. So I continued my warm up walk and mapped out a workout plan. When I got to the track I started jogging when I got to the first bend... I continued to jog until I made it around the second corner.. then I sprinted the entire straightaway (over 100 yards).. I then jogged the corner and sprinted the next straight away... I did that 5 times. Then I jogged two corners (one straight away) and did one last 100+ yard sprint. It felt so cool to push myself like that... and amazingly I REALLY feel it in my quads, and the muscles in my waist just over my hips.. I don't think they are the obleacs (sp?) but maybe they are. I just know I feel it, and it feels good! I'm going to have to add that as a periodic.. shake up to my routine.. just like my 'long' bike rides every two weeks. helps to keep the body confused.. right? |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 06,October,2003 | I had an excellent weekend! Of course Friday night was spent studying. Saturday, I woke up bright and early. I knew I was going to be in that test center for a good long while so I planned a special free day. Breakfast was cashews and a bowl of sliced apples rolled in protein powder and carob. I ate the nuts for the protein and fat. I needed to stay full a long time, and the apples for carbs and plenty of brain power. Of course I took all my vitamins too. And yes, I had my daily dose of caffeine. My fianc was sweet enough to drive me to the test center since I had a nightmare the night before about getting lost on my way. There are few things that stress me out as much as driving to a place Ive never been before. Taking a test is one of them! As you already heard, I passed the test. 4 hrs! It took them forever from the time I pressed the button until I got my results back.. during that time I swear I thought I was going to HURL! But it all came out alright Now its on to the next step in my career. To celebrate we went SHOPPING! Lol! We went to the outlet mall and I actually tried on and fit into a size 14 at ALL the swanky shops. I tried on two new bikinis at nautical size 12, and while the bottoms would have been feasible as a goal outfit.. the tops were a NO GO.. would have been borderline pornographic. I think Im going to have to order a new suit online. Where I can purchase the top and bottom separately. THEN we went and had my celebratory meal. Chicago style pizza! I havent had that in over 9 weeks. It was as good as I expected. Sunday we decided to go for a bike ride. It was a beautiful day here. Because we were going to ride on the streets my fianc insisted that I get a helmet, and since REI was having a saleBOY was that dangerous. They had a BUNCH of clearance stuff marked 50% off the LOWEST price. One of the things I got that Im most excited about was a biking skort. Its a pair of biking shorts, padding and all, (which I would never wear I wouldnt subject people to that sight) covered with a skirt. PERFECT for modest women like me. I tried them out and they are GREAT! Our bike ride was just wonderful. We biked across the Golden Gate bridge, and then through the presidio and marina district of San Francisco. The weather was fantastic, company great, and the workout PERFECT. My fianc was surprised, pleased and proud at how well I kept up with him on the hills, and I was completely chuffed at my performance as well. Other then certain bike specific spots, Im not sore at all. We got home in time for my last Upper body workout, of the week, too. Oh! And I finally got another thing off my wish list I got a yoga ball. It was an EXCELLENT way to do dumbbell presses, and I cant wait to do crunches on it. It came with some exercise bands with special grips so you can attach them to your dumbbells. I thought that was cool, and an excellent way for me to add more resistance to my workout without having to buy more plates. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,October,2003 | apparently my sudy efforts of 6-8 hrs a night for the past week, pared with good nutrition and excercise (Had to get that in there) payed off! I passed, I'm certified! I have an 'official' signature Shawn Mueller PMP Man that looks good.. 9 months it took to get that thing. Well longer really since it required at least 5 years of experiance. I'm off to celebrate!!!!!! I'm exausted, happy, stunned And.. who knows what else. I can tell you something though, if stress promotes fat... I gained 5 lbs today! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,October,2003 | Ive been trying hard to describe the mood Im in today and the only word that seems to fit is Euphoric. The funniest thing is that I really dont know why! Inside it feels as if Ive topped some hill after a long hard climb and found an enormous, green valley spread out below me. Yes, it will be a challenge to get down there, but the glimpses Ive had of it are stirring, that theres no way I can go through live without getting down there to see it closer. In physical terms, my energy levels have shot through the roof! Im alive in every since of the word. I feel my body and know it better and deeper then I ever have before. Ive found an interesting pastime while running. I imagine what my routine would be if I were to ever do a fitness routine. Understand that this is coming from someone whos only been at the fringes of the sport. Ive watched a competition on ESPN now and then, but never with an eye to understand what they were doing or why. I just have this vague recollection of the former gymnast winning. Still, I think it would be fun to start with something resembling a classical ballet. I took ballet for several years as a young girl and still remember most of my training. (I was 1 year from graduating to point) I have this vision of a woman (maybe me?) In the classic ballet pose called an arabesque One leg and one arm lifted, long, lean, graceful, and then curling that raised arm into a flexed bicep fierce and strong. Thats my goal. Thats the vision I have for myself. Thats the woman I want to be If not next year, then the year after that. So, on to much less introspective topics. Today is Upper body day! Yay! Definitely my favorite workout. I think Ill hit it as soon as I get home, then it back to the books to study study study. Tomorrows the big day! I made an interesting discovery today. While doing my upper body workout last time, on several of my second exercise of my fifth set I felt the weight I was using was too much each time it was using 10lbs of weight with 3.5 of collar for a total of 13.5lbs. So, I spotted my old girl dumbbells (you know the fixed weight coated in pink plastic) and though Oh, those are 10 lbs I use those! And I did. So today I was sitting there looking at those dumbbells, thinking about something else when it dawned on my that there wasnt the number 10 stamped on the end.. it was the number 12! Not THAT different from the 13.5 I had thought was too heavy. And yet it seemed much lighter! It think I just proved to myself, once again, how much perception makes a difference in a workout. Thinking I couldnt do something, and I couldnt... Thinking I could.. and POOF, I could. Our brain is an amazing thing. Maybe I need someone else to load my weights for me from now on! Heheheh. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 02,October,2003 | I got home tonight so exhausted! I had stayed up until 12:00am last night, first studying, and then rewarding myself for finishing all my reading with a workout. (Note the change in attitude Im working on that) This morning I was up at 5:45 because I had to be to work by 7:15 so that I could be at an all day, offsite meeting by 9:00am. I had grabbed a bar to eat on my way to work because I had expected bagels etc at the meeting. Boy was I bummed to find NOTHING! Luckily (though not the best choice) I had a balance bar in my purse (I always carry an emergency supply). This was a working lunch and they had the regular working lunch faire: Salad, sandwiches, fruit and cookies. Unfortunately, the salad had mayo based dressing on it (which I cant eat) But, there were some greens on the sandwiches. I grabbed turkey on whole wheat and some fruit. Needless to say I was STARVING when the meeting got over at 3:00pm. The only place nearby was Walgreens. I swear to you the ho-hos and Twinkies were calling my name. The only think I could find of any worth was another energy bar. By the time I got back to my office it was 4:30 and when I finally got home it was after 5:00pm. By then, my body was SCREEMING for REAL food! I quickly grabbed yogurt and some protein powder. After eating that I shuffled into my bedroom and changed into night clothes I was SO tired! I sat down and started reading through the some blogs, BOOM, there was my friend Marie, talking about her 16 hour day yesterday, and how she still got her workout in. What could I do then but shut off the computer, change my clothes and go for my run? And I did! I know I say this every time but it was my best run EVER!!! I dont know if it was the extra carbs in the stupid bars or what but I had more energy while I was zooming around the track then EVER. I was well into my third interval before it even occurred to me to think.. HEY, Im into my third interval! It was amazing! After my fourth interval, I rounded the corner of the track, while I was walking through my active recovery phase, I was amazed at how quickly I got my breath back, so when I got around the corner I picked up my knees and tacked a sprint onto the end. I dont know that Ive ever ran faster, it was like I had wings! It wasnt until I was on my home that I realized that I sprinted from Out of bounds line to out of bounds line on the football field, NOT from goal line to goal line, thus I had run 30(?) yards further then an 100 yard dash. I guess I wont fret over that. I came back feeling awake and alert, ready to face the 8 hours of studying I have ahead of me! I just cant thank all of you enough for being here and for inspiring me to do things that Ive never been able to achieve before!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,October,2003 | I was thinking about something at lunch... I realize how much of our attitude is based on our perseption of things. I also realized that typically when I get ready to do my workout for the day I will announce .. 'I HAVE to workout..' or 'I HAVE to go run...' While thinking about this today I realized that 'HAVE' might not be the best choice of words. It hardly protrays an positive attitude or outlook. Well, unless it's in the contex that someone like Emma used it when she said 'I HAVE GOT to workout or I'll go CRAZY'. I assure you, when I say it, it's HARDLY in that context, and I've realized that I might need to change that. My body listens.. yes my workout is something I HAVE to do.. but I know I need to come into it with a much more positive attitude or it will get more and more difficult to motivate myself. Words are a powerful tool -- So, what do you say when it's time to work out? Is it a 'down in the mouth' I can't come out to play I HAVE to work out mentality? or is it... I've been waiting all day for this and I HAVE GOT to work out mentality? I Know I certainly could use some work in this area. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,October,2003 | October 1st. A part of me can hardly believe I'm here. I don't know that I've ever stayed this long on a diet and fitness program. Hmm.. that sounds sad. BUT, at this moment I don't feel the slightest urge to falter. I'm on a journey, one that has it's ups and downs, and yet one that I'll continue. Day two of no scale. I still find myself eyeing it's spot on the bathroom floor, and feel the urge to drag it out of the closet and peek at how I'm doing. But that would defeat the purpose. I did take a look in the mirror this morning. The top of my tummy, High up, is definatly looking 'smoother'. Yesterday, I had dressed up, skirt, hose, blouse and sweater. When I got to work I realized that I had a HUGE hole in my hose. Didn't really have the time or cash to replace them, so I went to the bathroom and took them off. I was thrilled to find that my tummy didn't ruin the line of my skirt like it would have just a few weeks ago. Another victory!! Food for the day was good. I'm so busy in the evenings though that I'm not being able to plan my next day's meals very well. That means I'm having to rely on foods I know... Of course that also means.. BORING! I know I'm going to have to mix things up next week. Boring food leads to cheeting. Can't have that! Had a GREAT run yesterday. I know I say that almost every time. I think it's because I always start out thinking it's going to be a terrible run, and yet, somehow it isn't! Best part is that my fiance went with me. It's always easier to face the track knowing I'm going to have a smiling face to look toward now and then. He was bummed because he couldn't keep up with me, but he hasn't run regularly in a while. Knowing him, (and the fact that his legs are MUCH longer then mine) He'll be lapping me again in no time. I'm learning not to mind. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 26,November,2003 | last night was poorly planned. I've had one of those weeks where everything I do seems to be jinxed. Things like, I open the freezer and something falls out, so I bend over to pick it up, in the meanwhile the freezer door moves and when I straiten I hit my head.. HARD! so I put the chicken back in the freezer and it dislodges something ELSE that falls out.... repeat I can't open something without it spilling, I can't cook without burning either the food or myself and on top of it all I keep forgetting and/or loosing things. So, I worked late last night, then on the way home I get on the phone with my mom (who I haven't talked to in months) and my battery starts to die. So I plug in the phone. Now I get home and I'm stuck inside the car because I can't unplug the phone, and I don't want to hang up because we're in the middle of an ernest talk. I finally sign off, and get inside. The kitchen is still a mess from the day before so I do the dishes, then start dinner. By this time it's after 7:00 pm! I finally get dinner taken care of and realize dinner dishes have taken over the kitchen and I have to clean it again! I start on my pies and figure out I'm out of ground ginger... so it's off to the store (it's now 10:00pm)... Then back home again. Finally get the pumpkin made and there is a CRASH in the bedroom - I hear Nigel making a commotion. We finally get the story.. the cat had been on the top bunk of the bed and had jumped off, missjudging her landing. She landed square on the swiss ball which by the law of physics went one direction while the cat went the other. Aparently she was so surprised that she didn't 'land on her feet' (she's still a kitten and not entirely coordinated) and was now refusing to put her weight on one hind foot. Now I'm seeing visions of a vet bill weeks before christmas! We quickly determined that nothing was broken but could see she was in obvious pain. She couldn't sit, or find a comforatable position to lay in. I finally got back to baking (this time burbon chocolate pecan pie) And when I go to find the pie crust I had stayed up until 1:00am the night before making I can't find it! I'm digging through the fridge and everytime I move one thing, something else falls out ... by this time I'm in TEARS and had to call in the calvery! My fiance' held onto me for a while, assured me again that the cat's ok and found my pie crust... I finished my pie got them both baked and watched the cat walking around putting weight on her foot again, although still limping... it was 1:00am and there was NO WAY my cardio was getting done!! So, yellow day BLEH!!! By the way, I woke up this morning and was trying to find the cat. I finally looked in the last place I would expect her to be... in the top of the closet. And there she was, peering over the edge at me, curled up on top on of Nigel's t-shirts. Me thinks she'll be ok. She now shows some stiffness after laying around a while, and won't run on the foot, but walks without limping. Whew! She's a MUCH more cautious kitty today. My Eats are on plan today. though I have NO idea how to get my workout in with company showing up at my house this afternoon. I may go in the bedroom and do a leg workout, hopefully it won't appear too rude. I'm not above taking time for me... even during the holidays. I did have ONE epithany today. I was mulling over my lack of progress this month when it finally hit me. I haven't been able to run this month! My cardio has been 'walking quickly' at lunch, some tae bo or sometimes just calastincs.... Since I've asked Santa for a Treadmill it will be interesting to see if that will move things along again (though the change in diet has had a postive effect) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 25,November,2003 | A few of the guys from work have desided to get into shape and one of them was asking me questions about BFL today. He tried it before but didn't totally understand it and I was explaining, and showing him some helpful websites. One of the other fellas (an older ex-military type) buts in and starts talking about a friend of his who did BFL and had GREAT results went from 2 hundred something to 175 in 12 weeks and is in just GREAT shape. (That part didn't bother me) Then he starts in on how if you follow the plan EXACTLY you can have great results too, but you have to follow it EXACTLY. (he stressed several times) THEN he turns to me and says. So, did you eat EXACTLY what he (bill phillips) told you to? Did you workout like he said? I was happy to say 'yes' on both counts but the implications chapped my hide. As if my results wern't good enough, and implying that I MUST have done SOMETHING wrong to not have seen the results he friend had. BAH! I wanted to punch the guy in the face. In fact, I almost pulled off my carnigan and flexed to get him to shut up! Luckily the first guy has heard my entire story and knows my results were good and was still willing to let me help. Secondly... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 24,November,2003 | Well, I did it! Today I broke through the decade barrier. Weighed in at 179.5! Things are going to be interesting from now on in. I think I've said this before, but it bears repeating. I haven't been below 175 since I got pregnant with my oldest, and she'll be 16 soon. I've basically been this weight or heavier (and more likely then not, heavier) my entire adult life. Calories are GREAT! Yesterday's goals: Calories: 2043 P/C/F Ratio: 29/56/15 Yesterday's Totals: Calories: 1907 P/C/F Ratio: 29/56/15 I would call that GREEN. Almost blew it BIG time this morning. I was rushing around getting ready for work and kicked the Foot Rest in the living room. This in itself would be a BAD thing, but MY Foot Rest is hollow inside and IN it, I store all my workout equipment. So, that made it WORSE. That puppy didn't budge an INCH. I heard a snap crackle and pop that WASN'T my cereal bowl! (Not that I eat cereal. but) I walked around a bit and everything seemed ok. It started getting sore on my way to work but I've walked around since and everything seems to work still. I may end up having some swelling, but I don't think it's going to impede my workout. I HOPE. My upper body is WIPED from last night's workout. My chest is going to pain me for days! Trying to squeeze my arms together causes serious shakiness... Noodle chest? lol! I took a LONG soak in the shower to try to get some of the stiffness out of my shoulders but I'm feeling pretty good otherwise. errr more like GREAT otherwise. Energy levels are sky high, the sun is shining, life is good. On a weird note, I got a bite of narcissism last night. After my workout and before getting into bed I spent some time in front of the mirror. Yes, I flexed. lol! I believe my biceps are actually starting to break the plane of my arm when I flex! lol. Chest still needs a LOT of work. Triceps are still pretty buried under fat, back; well I'm liking it, a LOT. I still think I look BIG... I'm trying to adjust my attitude, be patient and see what happens. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 24,November,2003 | Well it's 11:47. I managed to find 1,000,000 things to do tonight and my workout kept getting pushed back. But, it's done now! WOW did I punish myself! lol I upped weights on the dumbbell press and it felt GREAT 17.5 (per dumbell) x 12 20 x 10 22.5 x 8 25 x 6 22.5 x 12 then when I went to do flyes I was thinking 'I normally do these with my 12.5lb dumbells but I'm going to use my adjustable weights so I can go a little heavier' I remembered that the bar and collars weigh 3.5 lbs i figured I could put 10 lbs on it and it would be just a little heavier then my normal 12.5... (confused yet?) So I looked at 10 printed on the side of the weight and went.. 'yeah, that's about right'. It wasn't until I was at rep 6 that it finally clicked in my brain that there was a 10lb weight on EACH side of the dumbell and that added up to 20!! duh! It was punishment time! I managed all 12!!!! EVERY part of my upper body was shaking by the time I was finished with that set! Onto back and I did bent rows... after a punshing chest workout what do I do? Up my weights here too!! 15 x 12 17.5 x 10 20 x 8 22.5 x 6 20 x 12 and bent flyes - this time I just used my 12 lb weights... I had already learned my lesson from earlier and I was still hurting... 12 x 12 Shoulders were pretty much uneventful - My shoulders are still piddly *** weak! lol Side laterals at PUNNY weights.. 2.5 x 12 5 x 10 7.5 x 8 10 x 6 7.5 x 12 Front raises - well I should drop the weight I guess - I did 12 and put EVERYTHING I had into them, but could only raise the weight about 1/4 of the way up.. 7.5 x 12 Briceps I'm still FIGHTING my left arm. I could probably go up on my right but my left really struggles. I'm glad I'm using dumbbells or it would be WAY too easy to cheet on these... 7.5 x 12 10 x 10 12.5 x 8 15 x 6 12.5 x 12 Hammer curls to finish things off and REALLY make me suffer... I actually whimper though these! 12 x 12 Triceps - workout's almost finished! My biceps burn.. shoulders are freid, my chest mucles are SHAKING... did kickbacks 10 x 12 again had a 'blond moment' and for some reason stuck 5 lbs on the dumbell instead of 2.5 which is my NORMAL increment - so I ended up upping the weights on tricpes TOO. 15x10 17.5 x 8 20 x 6 17.5 x 12 Then I did my FIRST set of dips. Granted it was a VERY low (step stool) 'bench' but I did 'em! 12 of them.. It feels SO good to be working out again.. though I hurt.. and I know I will continue to hurt tomorrow! Got the cranberry sauce, cranberry chutney, and pie crusts made tonight... no taisting either.... diets on plan!!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 24,November,2003 | It's Monday - time to train The weekend went GREAT! It was nice and relaxing and I sat around and enjoyed the peace. For the first time in four months no part of me hurts. It's nice, but not a feeling I expect to last for long! upper body workout is planned for today and I can't wait to get to it! Upper body is always my favorite so it's a great way to get back into things. I can't wait to see how I do on the dumbbell press as I was ready to up the weights last workout and I'm always stronger on my first day back. This should be a FUN workout. My weight has been 180 for DAYS, and that's GREAT! My average for the week was 180.8 lbs; the best EVER! I'm supposed to be upping my calories by 200 this week (to 2000). I see how that goes. So far my body's handled the extra CLEAN food well. I have TONS of energy and now I just need to start burning it. Add some more mass to my lean mass. My fiance has grabbed ahold of this program and RAN with it. We've cleaned up his diet SO much. He's already starting to drop some fat off his abs in less then a week. We figured out that his biggest problem was NOT eating during the day. Probably why he was coming home at night exhausted. Before we moved he would go home at lunch and usually have a decent lunch (whatever was leftover from dinner the night before - and I tend to cook pretty clean) but now we live too far away and he was grabbing fast food or eating nothing at all. Then he'd get home and go straight for the ice cream and/or cookies. It's been so cool to watch him pick up on his bad habits and make the changes. For a man who knew NOTHING about food, micronutriants, and diet he's learned REALLY fast. Of course I'm learning a lot too. keeping my sugars low and trying to add even more fibre into my diet. Not to mention more calories. Making sure to take my multi vits too. I guess you could say I'm feeling fine and dandy today! Of course it helps that it's a short week and I'm entertaining over the Holiday. I LOVE cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I thrive on all the planning and prep work (sick I know). I made chocolate covered cherries last night from cherries that have been sitting in Brandy since last year. I even managed to keep my fingers out of my mouth... well except for the couple of times that accedently dipped my finger ALONG with the cherry and burned myself with the chocolate. Ok, ok - I'll stop rattling on! I'm seriously thinking about starting my workout now.. cause I'm bouncing off the wall here! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 21,November,2003 | As I've said before my Fiance has started this new eating program with me, and he's using the same software that I'm using. Being a 'professional dieter' myself I had assumed that EVERYONE knew what I knew about the content of food. Boy have I been surprised. My fiance' was/is pretty much CLUELESS about what he should eat when it came to micronutriants. It took me a little bit to figure out that he wasn't kidding when he came to me and said 'I need to eat more carbs, what can I have?' The education process has been interesting for both of us and we spent a GREAT deal of time in the store last night with him reading the lables of foods and me explaining what it all meant. He's currently at 2208 calories P/C/F Ratio 23/62/15. Should be intersting! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,November,2003 | I've been keeping my calories UP... and, to my amazment.. as of this morning, weight is 180! OMG.. almost 170's and all the while eating ALL this food! lol Marie I'm sorry I didn't trust you completely before! Next week I up the calories another 200.. scarey and yet interesting... In other news... after posting a few days ago that I haven't had a rest in over 15 weeks... when I went home Wednesday and felt totally, and COMPLETELY wiped out. ... I made a decision and I'm taking the rest of this week off from working out. The relief is INCREDABLE! and I can't wait to start again on Monday rested and renewed! --------- Ok - I just stepped away from my computer to chat with some of the 'guys' here at work... We were talking about 'Rosie the Riveter' and one of the girls didn't know that was, so I struck the pose.... You've never seen so many geek guy's jaws drop.. That was fun. One even managed to stutter out.. 'MAN you've got GREAT biceps do that again!' Muahahah! the POWER in being a woman with power ;) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,November,2003 | I'm still employed Got back from my lunch... and while things didn't come out as good as I had hoped it WAS better then I had expected. I am NOW classified as Project Manager with a 'token' raise. Enough that it's going to help.... Not enough to keep me from a 'passive' job search. AND the fact that I was mad as HE|| about the pettiness they have been badgering me must have been apparent as the entire issue was sidestepped. Probably the worse part of the entire lunch was that he took me to this Greek restaurant. EVERYTHING was FULL of fat. I picked through what I ordered and ended up having to buy my own food later... Now to decide 'next steps' I've pretty much decided that I need to get my bachelor’s degree *sigh*, what a LONG process that's going to be! It used to be that a degree was not worth the money you put into it in the IT industry, now most jobs I see are wanting a degree, even if you have 12 years of experience. Our industry has changed I'm pretty sure that it's not for the worse, but I feel a little left behind. Now I have to catch up, and it's not going to be easy. BUT, I've taken control of my life recently in ways I never thought was possible. I'm finding I speak my mind more then ever, even when it may cause a conflict. I'm doing what needs to be done and I'm positive the last 12 weeks have had a LOT to do with it. I've realized that I'm capable of great things, and that even great things take small steps to make happen... And #1, sometime you have to live through a small set back in order to make great gains later. Yeah, I might have to stay with this job a while longer and accept the lower pay, but I KNOW I'll have the time it will take to truly commit to getting my degree. Once that happens, there will be no stopping me. Ok, enough of my 'brain dump'. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 17,November,2003 | 1800 Calories and counting ;) Another day right on plan! I'm feeling really good! Planning an upper body workout tonight and I can't wait to get to it! I've got my fiance taking a REAL look at his eating and nutrition and it's been an eye opener for him. He can't believe how crappy his diet is, and he's always thought he was 1/2 way healthy. The PFA software has had a LOT to do with that. He has his own login now (he asked me for it) so that he can enter his own food in and check how he's doing during the day. I think he's been inspired by the fact that _I_ can wear his size 34 pants now, and he CAN'T. lol... I have to say I was REALLY frustrated yesterday. I went to the store to pick up some new pants, and I picked out an assortment of 14's and 12's (OK so the 12's were more just for comparison) BUT the first 14's I put on were too small, the next too big... And so it continued. amazingly enough the best fit I found were a pair of size 12 jeans... YAY that they fit *sigh* that it was so difficult to find something. Men have no clue what it's like! lol My fiance walks into a store, picks up a pair of pants, checks the size and then takes them home - no problem. In other news, I have a meeting with my boss today. It's the moment of truth either they begin to compinsate me fairly or I will have to get even MORE serious about my job search. I'm to the point that I'm ready to give them my resignation even without having a job to go to. They don't pay me enough to put up with the stress and BS that I put up with and the fact that they have recently started to ATTACK me to avoid giving me a raise has me ready to walk out the door. In most cases this would be no skin off an employers nose, BUT I'm a consultant, I'm revenue. When I walk out they loose the contract that I'm currently working on. Kind of nice to have a little clout in that regard. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 17,November,2003 | Ok, so first, I have to appoligize for my 'knee jerk' reaction earlier today. I was feeling SO bad from what I figure was 'carb overload'. I kept to my plan today - made it to 1825 calories - ratio 29/56/15 - EXACT! and, I did it without feeling crappy! yay! It helped that I found a GREAT dence energy bar at the store. Kept the calories up and the bulk down! I also found a few tricks to make the program work better for me, AND introduced it to my fiance. Now it's a compitition to see who can get a better score each day. I KILLED my legs today! I've gotten to the point that I'm trying to up my weights every time I work out my legs, really pushing them to the fullest. Tonight was the closest I have ever gotten to getting sick!! plie squats, jump squats, straight leg dead lifts, and split squats... I was wobbling after!! The BEST news is that I may be getting a treadmill for Christmas!!! YAY! I've got it all picked out, just waiting for a little extra money to come our way. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,November,2003 | I’m done – done with this current ‘higher cal’ ‘higher carb’ phase. After four days of it I’m feeling sluggish, bloated and just YUCK! My tummy was constantly distended from the shear volume of food. It feels as if my entire body has gone soft, even my arms and shoulders, it’s probably water retention, but it feels so GROSS! So today I’m back on BFL. Funny thing is, I think those few days at higher calories have done their job. After a breakfast that was twice what I would have ‘normally’ ate, I was good and hungry 2 hours later. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign that my metabolism has hiked up a bit. I would love to see the scale start to fall again. Good news is, even with all the icky feeling the scale stayed pretty steady the past few days. I may have to try this experiment again. Perhaps will less carbs though. Bread doesn’t seem to agree with me AT ALL! I’ve also decided NOT to use the PFA (Personal Food Analyst). I found that with it I was spending several HOURS a day tweaking my plan so that I could almost EXACTLY match it’s requirements. Yes, I want to be fit and healthy, but not at the expense of my family time. I will continue to monitor my input, but not to that level. Perhaps if my body was my JOB… but I’m a computer geek :) On a positive note, I’m wearing my first pair of ‘hip hugger’ slacks today. I’ve never been able to find a pair that ‘fit’ my body before. I’ve found that this is a VERY flattering style for me. With my ‘top heavy’ body and short waist I often felt like I looked like “Miss Piggy? when I would tuck my blouses in. With these new slacks I look longer in the torso and my butt looks shorter! Both positive things! Don’t get me wrong these are not “Butt cleavage? pants. But they are set about ½ inch lower then my natural waist. It’s all good! Time for lunch now! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,November,2003 | I have to admit, I have a new respect for those of you who have managed to up your calories into the 3000 range. Yesterday was a REAL struggle for me. Eating 1843 Calories, and eating CLEAN was a LOT harder then I thought it would be! AND MAN was that a LOT of food! WHEW! Still, I ate all that and didn't GAIN anything! yay! I'm going to do it again today. Finally got my shoulder feeling better, and I'm planning on an Uppder body workout. Did cardio again yesterday to stay green. Feeling REALLY good (though Full) I'm going to fix some breakfast now! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 14,November,2003 | Quick check in this morning! Things have been GREEN! Wednesday Night I did A cardio session with my man 'Billy Blanks'. My honey had bought my a new DVD to try. After the KILLER leg workout the day before it was MURDER! But, I made it! Yesterday, I woke up and the saw the scale was STILL welded at 183. But I was feeling so lean and tight I pulled out the tape measure... waist down to 34!! woo hoo! that was my goal for this challenge! I managed to walk through a minefield of meetings still green. I passed over my upper body workout because I've got a pinch in my neck that's bothering me. I did a nice fast walk for some extra cardio instead. I think I'll be able to make up the upper body today no problem. I've got another day of meetings, plus a work BBQ (we do these about once a month) But my day is planned and I should make it with no problem! Siince my body is being so stuborn right now I'm going to try raising up my calories for a while and then dropping them again to see if I can get something started here. With the schedule I'm thinking of doing it will set me up to do some major fat burning after the first of the year - perfect for the BFL challenge. So, today my goal is: Calories: 1843 P/C/F Ratio: 29/56/15 |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,November,2003 | Wow! I killed my legs last night. They are nice and sore today that's for sure. I changed up a few of my excercises and BOY can I feel it! I love it! My pants seems to get baggier every time I put them on, though the scale is staying pretty steady right now. I'm waiting with bated breath to finally see the 170's but not getting down about it. I just feel so good right now about the changes that I'm seeing that the scale is simply something I look at and note. Don't get me wrong, Seeing the scale go down is a TREMENDOUS thrill, but having it stay the same doesn't make or break me. I feel so strong lately! I upped the weights on most of my excercises last night and I felt as if I could have kept going! We'll see how it goes later this week when I do legs again ;) Eats are right in line... staying within my ratios etc. Been doing pretty well in staving off hunger. I've been hitting the water a bit heaver lately too. Other wise... all is good! Still pushing the bariers for all I'm worth! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 11,November,2003 | What a beautiful day!!! Weather is grand! After days of rain we've gotten some blue skys along with some crisp tempatures. That along with the grape vinyards turning shades of purple and gold and it's a picture waiting to be painted. I'm feeling so INTO my plan today. Feeling up, committed and on fire! I love days like this. Additionally, The more I look at my pictures the better I feel... AS I said before, things are happening, and I Love that!! I fit into my 'small' size 14 jeans today. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 10,November,2003 | Hello, I'm Shawn, and I'm fat... and yet today I choose to loose! I took a plethera of pics today. At first I was pretty bummed out, but the more I took, the more postives I found. There are things going on UNDER that layer of fat. Things barely seen, and yet there are hints of them even on the surface. I've posted my favorites today, and I'll put a few more up over the next few days. Other then that, not much to report. It was a rest day last night and I enjoyed it! Will be doing legs tonight, a workout I find I hate more and more. I'm going to have to find a cure for that if I want to continue on this path! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 10,November,2003 | Things have been busy here. Busy and challenging! But I’ve made it through another week! Four weeks to go. I haven’t been entirely happy with my stats, but then I’ve been trying to convince myself that that isn’t entire what this is about. It’s about commitment and constancy, commitment not only to my diet and exercise, but to myself. I decided this morning that one of the ways I can improve my discipline is to start my day off with a positive, and that means getting up on time. I started today really well (and actually did better then normal last week too) and I’m planning to continue. There is something about making that initial effort of commitment that seems to set the tone for the entire day! I’m also still struggling with my water intake. It’s just another one of those places where my head knows what I should be doing. I’ve got all kinds of head knowledge and every excuse to drink more, and yet I still find myself ‘forgetting’ to drink my water my heart isn’t into it. I’m going to work even harder at being better at that. The good news is that I’m taking my vitamins again, and feeling really good! Clothes are fitting better everyday, and while my results aren’t ‘stellar’ there are results… Weight down to 183 today from 194 (I still haven’t gotten to my ‘pre’-TOM weight *sigh* Body Fat from 43.7 to 38.6 So: Lean Mass up from 109 to 112 Fat Down from 85 to 70.5 Chest (Under Arms) From 38.75 – 37.75 –1? Bust From 44.5 – 42 –2.5? Ribs From 36 – 35 –1? Waist From 36 – 34.5 –1.5? Hips From 46.5 – 44.75 –1.75? Butt From 44 – 43 –1? Thigh From 25.5 – 25 -.5? I still have 4 weeks to make some changes and I plan on working my butt off to see them! I think I’ll be able to take pictures tomorrow as I have to work until 7:00 and that means I can get in a little later. My fiancé has continued to work out with me, and he’s doing GREAT. We’re having a lot of fun, and MAN is it nice having someone there to spot for me and help me with a few forced reps. And NOW we’re having pushup contests! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 06,November,2003 | Rough Day Yesterday I should have planned better, luckily everything worked out ok. I had one of those late night meetings that I just HATE, From about 5:30 to 8:30. Why they schedule a meeting during dinner and then serve us 'Heavy appitizers' is beyond me. Apparently 'Heavy appitizers' means: Fruit, crackers and cheese, White bread and dip, veggies, chex mix, and fried chicken wings. At least last quarter they had grilled chicken on scewers! So, I ate some veggies and nibbled some of the rye bread out of the chex mix. I also passed up the free drinks! YAY! That was a big step for me... avoided the 'beer presure'. Felt MUCH better because of it too. Still made it through the day ON PLAN and green! yay! Looks like I've lost almost all of the water weight from TOM.. scale is being pleasent again, so another boost for me. the 170's are back on the horizon. Planning a lower body workout for tonight. I wish I could get as enthusiastic about it as I do my other workouts, but I'm not THAT Masocistic.. YET. Almost quit my job last night *sigh*. I wish I was secure enough to work for myself again. I hate this economy. Other good news, I actually put on and zipped up a pair of size 12 jeans the other night. That was thrilling. Not to the point I could wear them in public, but zipping is a big step!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,November,2003 | I got home early enough to go for a run tonight. It felt SO good. I think I pushed myself further then I ever have. It felt wierd running in a big baggy sweatshirt, but it was all I had. There were a lot of people at the track tonight, several teams practicing soccer, and a few people playing basketball at the courts. About my second time around I heard this loud voice yell 'Run faster you F***ing B*tch... I kick your a**'. I conviced myself that they wern't talking to me, after all why would they, but I have to confess that my first reaction was that they were. And yet, there was something missing from my reaction. It took me a moment or two to figure out, I didn't feel angry. It took me a bit longer to figure out why. The thing that was missing was guilt, guilt AND self loathing! There was no answering voice in my head saying 'Yeah! Run faster!' For once I KNEW in my heart that I was doing what was right and good for ME and I felt GOOD about that. The rest of my run was a blur. The lightness in my heart transfered to a lightness in my feet... I came hope head held 20 feet high... I'm GOOD for me! ;) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,November,2003 | I can't believe how much BETTER I feel this week about EVERYTHING, life, love, exercise. I'm going to kick butt this week! I just had to share! I'm sleeping better, eating clean and exercising strong. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,November,2003 | yesterday. I had a GREAT day. Was Mui Verde... Ate clean, and within my limits, and had an AWSOME Upper body workout. I went back to BFL syle workouts because... doot da doot...My fiance worked out with me! (I didn't think he would enjoy Dr Joyce as I had) I had him using the same weight I was and though he started off scoffing, he was feeling it by the end of each set. Then when I finished everything and gutted out 10 pushups... he did 5! muahahaha! My competative nature kicks in! Unfortunatly, I know him... and he'll surpass me within a week! Still he's a little sore this morning but not so much that he's ready to quit. A good sign, a REALLY good sign. I'm up and ready to go this morning. Feeling GREAT. I'm not sure what we're doing for cardio tonight, but we'll be doing it. (Ed - don't go there! lol!) Need to get ready for work now!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,November,2003 | Here are my goals for November: 1 - One free MEAL a week (I'm finding I need the 'cheats' less and less, therefore I think I'll plan a cheat MEAL and save myself the extra calories) 2 - Three weight training sessions per week. (I usually weight train Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but allow myself to shift those if there is a need.) 3 - Three cardio sessions per week. (This is not nessisarily HIIT, but SOME sort of cardio. Normally Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday) 4 - Track nutrition daily (This is one place I've seen myself slipping. I've not been as good at inputting into fitday and therefore I'm left 'assuming' that I did ok.) 5 - 1300 - 1500 Calories/day 40% protien, 40% carbs, 20% fat 6 days per week(Again, I'm sure I've slipped a little here, based on my not always inputting my intake and having to guess) 6 - Take my vitamines daily (These are just as important to me as good nutrition, as I've discovered this month!! ) That's all I can think of for now.... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,November,2003 | Sunday - Well didn't turn out as I had hoped. Woke up feeling worse then before and spent the day recovering. Eats were Green. Ate what I needed to, nothing more, nothing less. Too week and shakey to do much of anything. I went outside for a little while but it felt so cold and I ached so much afterwords that I had to soak in the shower relax enough to even lounge on the couch! Still, it gave me time to think and regroup. I took a break from BFL this past week. Loved Joyce and the face paced workout taped, BUT I miss lifting heavy! I already feel like the muscle I've worked so hard for in my upper body is starting to dwindle. :P I also feel like I need to tighten up my nutrition. While I havn't nessisarily been eataing BADLY I feel like I'm letting little things slip through, and while once in a while isn't bad, I don't want a little slip to turn into a terrible tumble. This is a dangerous time for me. I'm feeling good about the wieght I've lost and the progress I've made, it's too easy for me to relax and feel complaicent. I'm NOT going to let that happen. I want to stay on the edge. Push myself further then before... I want to set and reach goals I never thought possable, but to do that I've got to stay dillegent! November is going to be THE month for me. Made even better by the fact that my honey has declaired OUTLOUD that he is going to make a change AND asked me for help! I wouldn't feel right helping him if I didn't walk the walk myself. I actually got up early this morning and fixed him breakfast, lunch and snacks. We will be one FIT couple sliding into the new year! Ok - got to get some work done |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,November,2003 | didn't do cardio last night, I was just feeling too lousy. I ate green and then went to bed early! My fiance brought home a HUGE bag of candy I looked through it for a few seconds and then walked away, nothing tempting there. Made up the cardio today... Billy Blanks kicked my butt, but I kept up longer then last time. Sometimes I'm amazed at how quickly the body seems to adapt. On tap for tomorrow: a bike ride and upper body workout. Going to keep it nice and green!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 30,December,2003 | I feel like I've made a step in the right direction. I took a walk at lunchtime. Almost sad that something so small is an accplishment for me right now, but it is. Hopefully I've set the tone for the entire day. (in a positive way). I've been looking at some OLD pictures of myself and just shuddering at how far I had let myself go! I know I will NEVER Get to that point again! The only way I can do that is to continue to fight, struggle, scratch and claw my way toward my goals! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 29,December,2003 | Ever since I took that week off, I've struggled to get back into the excercise grooove. I keep slipping on my self promices...and even my promices to others and I hate myself for it. I've GOT to get my focus back before the 5th when I start my first 12 week challenge of the new year. I know I need to workout. I can feel the difference in my energy levels. Luckily, I've been reletively clean in the eating department and that's kept me losing. I'm just frustrated, and dissapointed...And fighting for all it's worth to get my 'groove' back. It's easy to make excuses. 'It's the holidays', 'The colder weather makes me tired and want to hybernate' 'I can't find a cardio that I like'. But they are all just excuses. I know that the people who get it done.. just GET IT DONE. And that's not happening. It's time to take a hard line with myself and NOT let the tired lazy me talk myself into my old lifestyle. I'm NOT going to lose this battle. I can't, not this time. It's not in me to quit, but it's all to easy to let things slide. Ah well, today's a new day and a new chance to make a differnce in ME. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 29,December,2003 | Well, this challenge has been colorful to say the least. BUT, I'm not letting this bother me or cause me to quit. I know that a few stumbles are not going to keep me from my goals. I'm so GLAD the holidays are over! My time is once again my own, and I'm not going to have to stare down mounds of sweets and chocolate every day at work. I did a great deal of 'snacking' over the past few days, but I don't think any MAJOR damage was done. Allowing myself a little leeway over the past few days also made TOM a little easier to get through too so in all it was a VERY happy holiday. Today I am wearing a size 12 skirt that's been hanging in my closet for a year and a half! It feels and looks GREAT! I'm so excited about the changes ahead! And as I've said time and time again, I finally feel as if I really WILL reach my goals in the upcoming year. My challenge for for Body Blog, and Body for Life start next monday. In the meanwhile, I'm going to spend this week reminding myself what it feels like to go hard EVERY day. On tap tonight, an Upper Body workout. Nutrition is set for 1550 calories. I'm still up in the air for cardio for the next few weeks as I don't have my Christmas Treadmill YET. Children's christmas presents came first, and we don't do credit. But it's in the works... I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and is looking forward to the New Year as much as I am! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 23,December,2003 | So here I was feeling all cranky and frumpy, and not one, but THREE people commented on how thin I was looking and how great I was doing on my diet. the stars have realigned themselves! :) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 22,December,2003 | Somedays I really hate my body. Today is one of them. It usually happens when I have this 'vision' in my head of what I want to look like, and then I get dressed and what I see is NOTHING like what I have invisioned. I was so excited about the sweater I got this weekend. I had the 'perfect' outfit in mind. Black turtleneck with my hip hugger slacks... I just knew I would be the ipidimy of 'sheek'. But instead when I checked the mirrow, my sweater didn't tuck correctly and instead of hugging and showing off my new slimmer waist it bulged and looked like I had a roll along the endge of the waist band. And then the 'bulk' of the sweater when tucked, added lumps under my slack in ALL the wrong places. So a day I had hoped to spend feeling stunning and successful I'm spending tugging, and tucking and grumpy. Oh well! Did an upper body workout last night. I didn't 'kill' myself, after taking some advice that I might see more progress if I tried a different approach. So I'm trying. It was wierd to end a workout not feeling completely wrung out. Don't get me wrong, I was tired and sore, but not the 'Oh my, don't ask me to scratch my nose' tired and sore. Still, these couple of week are a good time for me to experiment and it was acutally a lot of fun to mix things up a bit. I started with doing 15 half (girl) pushups to warm up. I had to laugh because earlier this year I could barely do 10 of these as a matter of fact I hurt my back strainging to do over 10. To throw out 15 as a WARM UP was really cool. Then I did 15 pushups with my knees on the swiss ball as a second warm up. What I had planned to do was super sets, but I couldn't figure out if, when doing super sets, if I should use the same weight on every exciercise so as to not have a pause. In order to accomidate no pause, no weight change - I took what was going to be a four excercise 'set' and broke it into 2 2 excercise sets. I figured 25lbs was a good weight for chest and back, whereas shoulders I wouldn't be able to do more then 15lbs. What I didn't factor in was how HARD doing 15 reps would be. SHEESH! By then I was so into my new workout I completely forgot that I was going to do pull first and THEN push.. duh! I switch them up next time! So I loaded 25 lbs on the dumbbells and started to do chest press. I couldn't figure out why it felt so HARD... Then I recalculated and realized that I had loaded 30 lbs on each dumbell. With visions of Nicole pushing 50lb dumbells, I went ahead and pushed out 6 reps at 30 lbs. Was pretty cool! then I REALLY got 25lbs loaded and after a rest I did my fifteen chest presses and without a rest did 15 bent rows. a short rest and I tried to do the next set of 15. HA! ended up dropping the weight do 20 to finish. WHEW. Then 15 bent rows no problem. My back is MUCH stronger then my chest it seems. Second 'super' set I did military press 15 reps, and thanks to Jeremy managed to use excercise bands and Jurry rig a lat pull down. I think I might need a few sturdier bands though because even with three bands strapped on, it was a little easy. I would have liked a little more of a burn. Even so, my mid back is a little sore today. Feels good! Second set of 15 reps was pretty much the same. THEN.. just because I was feeling good and wanted to fool around a little I did a handstand for about 30 seconds. I think that's why my shoulders are a little sore today in a new place. Eventually (years from now, I'm sure) I want to do handstand pushups. Just to say I can! Nutrition is going well. Eating out at lunch today, but I've got it all planned. They wheeled out another batch of sweets today.. a CART LOAD, but I've passed it all by. Not worth it. Happy Holiday's all! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 22,December,2003 | Bad News--I'm still struggling with my workouts. I just can't seem to find the time and/or get my priorities in the correct order to fit in everything. BUT, I'm pushing through. Good news-- My weight today 177! It almost hasn't sunk in! I've been below 180 for 7 days now! Average weight for last week 178.6... lowest EVER. My clothes are fitting GREAT, in fact I'm actually starting to finally get to the point where I go.. Hmm this might be consitered too big! As a matter of fact while shopping at Eddie Bower this weekend I had to get a sweater in a size Medium! Makes me want to leave the 'M' sticker on the outside of it when I wear it around! lol The sweets are still pouring in here at work. another package of candy, although this one contained some nuts so I could have a few. Nutrition goals for this week - 1750 calories P/C/F ratio 41/29/30 Bring on the Salad and meat! :) I'm planning to doing an upper body workout tonight. I will up the weight on a few excercises and see how I do. We had a GREAT weekend. Took a trip to the city and saw the Nutcracker. It was GREAT, and I managed to things nutitionally balanced. I'm furiously working on finishing up my shopping. I found out this weekend that ALL three of my children are planning to come over at christmas, when I first thought it was just going to be the youngest. While I've managed to buy my oldest a few gifts my son has been a problem. His list has consited of things like.. a PS2 or a computer... not something I can afford right now. I'll have to see what happens. I'm going to make it through this holiday in the black financially, and out of the black ... clothes. NOTHING is going to keep me away from that 175 mark! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,December,2003 | Monday they brought in See's candy, cookies and rice crispy treats Tuesday it was See's candy and bevarian chocolate Yesterday I managed to get the last of all the chocolate out of the office and was breathing a sigh of relief... until today... gerdelli chocolate, homemade brownies and homemade oatmeal cookies -- I sit back and watch them all stuff thier face... Then grin as they all talk about the 10 pounds they've put on since Thanksgiving... Then they turned to me and I just said... Hmmm.. I've lost 7 pounds since Thanksgiving.. and I walk away. between you and me.. it's a good thing I don't like oatmeal cookies! lol |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 18,December,2003 | I’ve been at my current weight four other times in my adult life. Once - I was 19 and had just had my first baby. I was NOT happy about it then, but somehow with working full time, taking care a new husband, and taking care of a new baby, I didn't have time to pay attention. After my second child was born I was even MORE horrified to find I was now 207. I joined WW and within a few months I was down to 177. I was fitting into size 14 and sometimes a 12, It's was easy to feel good. I started to look around and realize ... 'I've average!'. And average feelt pretty darn good after spending so much time morbidly obese. But, that 'happy to be average' feeling is dangerous! This was the first time I dealt with the.. 'I'm happy to be average' syndrome. Men were paying attention to me more then ANY other point in my life. I was happy, I was strong, I was ... having marital troubles and dealing with a husband who didn't appreciate the changes that I had made. So I ignored myself again... let it slide; said 'I'm happy with average' only to find myself after my third child weighing 230 lbs. (or more) This time the weight loss was slow. I didn't have a specific program that I followed or a support group, I just did what 'felt' right at the time. I got to 180 and hung in there. This time when the husband started his 'crap' Instead of ignoring myself I ignored him! Needless to say, a divorce ensued and I found myself 177ish, single and once again 'happy to be average'. This time I hung on a bit longer, and caught it sooner when my weight started to creep back up. I had found a man who loved me, nurtured me and made me happy and when my weight got into the high 180's I quickly started ediets and once again, I got into the 177 range, size 14/12 and very comfortably 'average'. I quit making progress, and soon I had quit. Then came surgery and an unexplained weight gain... once AGAIN I was on the wrong side of 200 (203) and I finally decided.. 'This is for life!' I've taken control and I've fought my way BACK to below 180 and comfortable in a size 14 pair of jeans... This is why I continue to set goals, why I try not to let my 'success' side track me. Why I'm not saying 'It's the holiday's have a piece of chocolate'... I want better then 'average' for me and for those around me. I don't settle for 'average' in anything else I do... not love, not my job, not life... why should I settle in my health and appearance? Yes, we should enjoy our progress, be happy with how far we've come... but realize the journey isn't finished. If fact it never SHOULD be finished! I guess I just need to put this down... more for myself then anything. To make concrete in my mind why I sit and eat my salad while everyone around me wolfs down See's Candy... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 18,December,2003 | I thought I would record my current workout as it was one of the goals of this 4 weeks was to increase the weight I was using :) Lower Body - (weight is total number of plates) Plie' squat 35 x 12 40 x 10 45 x 8 50 x 6 45 x 12 Jump Squat 0 x 12 Straight Leg Deadlift 40 x 12 45 x 10 50 x 8 55 x 6 50 x 12 Split Squat 50 x 12 Single Standing Calf Raise 25 x 12 30 x 10 35 x 8 40 x 6 35 x 12 Front Calf Stretch Heavy&Light Band x 12 Crunches 12 10 8 6 12 Reverse Crunches 12 Upper Body (Weight is total plates for single dumbell) Dumbell Press 20 x 12 22.5 x 10 25 x 8 27.5 x 6 25 x 12 Flye 20 x 12 Bent Row 17.5 x 12 20 x 10 22.5 x 8 25 x 6 22.5 x 12 Bent Flyes 12.5 x 12 Military Press (/ indicates dropping 2.5 lbs) 12.5 x 12 15 x 10 17.5 x 8 20 x 4/2 17.5 6/6 Lat Raises 7.5 x 12 Bicep Curl 10 x 12 12.5 x 10 15 x 5/3 17.5 x 5 15 x 3/8 Hammer Curl 10 x 12 Triceps Dips (MAN these HURT!!) 12 10 8 6 12 Overhead extentions 30 x 12 Pushups 10 Whew! Now, to work on the drop set excercises, until I don't have to 'drop' them anymore AND raise the rest of the excercises UP Until I'm having to do drop sets for them too. I realize this is HARDLY 'pure' BFL style, but I think it's important for me right now to try pushing my limits a little and teach myself what 'true' failure is on every body part. I've had FAR too many excercises in which I say 'Hmm.. I think that was all I could do....' enough of that! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 17,December,2003 | Everything seems to be firing on all cylenders right now. It's feels so great to be back in a groove and seeing results! I Killed my upper body on my workout last night. Raised weights on everything, did drop sets to finish and generally left myself feeling like a wet noodle. It was all good though when I woke up to see a very nice thing on the scale. SOMETHING appears to be working! at LAST! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 17,December,2003 | Ouch, Owe, Owie.... it's so bad I have to say it in three languages! lol! My legs and lower back hurt YES, but so does my arms and shoulders... just goes to prove that squats really DO utilize nearly every part of your body. Nutrition was PERFECT yesterday. BUT, after all my momentem yesterday, LIFE happened and my workout was not to be. BUT I have 1 rest day per week and it WILL be made up. Upper Body is planned for tonight and I cannot WAIT. my favorite workout by FAR. I'm going to add weight to each of these excercises as well even it means I have to do some drop sets. Cory has challenged me ;) Nutrition today .. well LIFE also caused me to not be able to plan ahead today. I grabbed clean eats, but I doubt I've eaten ENOUGH yet. But I'll be able to adjust later. I'm nothing if not flexable. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,December,2003 | Slow day at work - Been looking over my stats. The more I look, the more excited I'm getting. Yes, I've been here (under 180) a couple time in the past few months, but each time it was the week before TOM and it SHOT back up right after. This time, I'm NOT going to let that happen. FOCUS is my battle cry! :) Stat wise I've gone NO WHERE since the end of October. It would be easy to consider the past month or so a waste of time, but but internally I've learned SO much that I wouldn't trade the past month for ANYTHING. I'm going to do some circuit training for cardio tonight and see how I like it. Light Light weights and calistenics. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,December,2003 | Well! I'm sore. I knew I would be, but, it's not as bad as I would have thought. I'm going to take some ibprofine and things should be fine. Amazingly the most sore part of me is my back. I'm going to keep a close eye on that because I don't want or need to strain anything there. I'll watch my form a little closer next time I do deadlifts. The best part of the morning was seeing the scale at 179.5 ... Yes, it's been here before, but I think this time it's going to continue to drop... NO Backsliding! I feel so confident right now that there should be NO PROBLEM. I still don't have a real plan for cardio tonight, but we'll see what we can work out. Breakfast is done and I'm off to work, not by 9:00 but I'll be there by 10:00 wich is a darn site better then 11:00 lol! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,December,2003 | That workout was EXACTLY what I needed!! I'm feeling 100% more energetic now, I've got my meals planned for tomorrow and my lunches packed. Tomorrow should be the same as today, right on PLAN. Cravings are under control... or more like GONE. I really wonder if it wasn't caused by me forgetting my multi-vit for a day or two. I'm looking forward to a really positive week! Tomorrow is cardio day and I've got to figure out what to do there. without runninig to look forward to I'm really struggling to find something I like and is challenging. I tell you what, I wish I had a heart monitor on while I was doing legs today. I KNOW the blood was pumping! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,December,2003 | Finally! I worked out!! Yes yes yes! Killed my legs, I will be paying for it tomorrow! It’s a darn good thing I have a sit down job. Upped every exercise by 5 lbs too! Whew! I’m going to keep adding until I hit my limit. Going to see how far these legs will go! I know I’m pretty close to my limit on upper body, but I’m going to push it there too. I’m hoping the heavier weight will add to the fat burning factor. At least that’s what I’m telling myself ;) It feels SO good to back on plan with both exercise and food. I can already feel the mental lift! It’s so GREAT to be keeping my self promises. There is also the fact that I fell down and managed to pick myself up! I didn’t quit I didn’t say “Forget it, I’ll wait until next year? I got back on and did it NOW! This year! I WILL reach my birthday goal. I’m going to smash through that 175 barrier and get set for the new me in 2004! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 10,December,2003 | My scale is going wanky! :P So I'm either at 181, or 179.5, or 177.5! lol! The fact that the other day it said 189, then 184, then 183 makes me think that there is something wrong with it. I HATE changing scales, but it may be time for a new one. (though I would LOVE to think I'm at 177.5 and only 3 lbs from my goal) Yesterday was another challenge... but I made it through. I found out that my daughter had a music concert! I managed to adjust my nutrition (I couldn't go home, my kids live 2 hours away) but missed another workout! NOT a good start to a challenge... Still I'm keeping my head up and my hopes! Even if I'm at the highest of the weights today (181) that's 2 lbs gone for the week, so I've reached my goal there! Doing what I can here and not beating myself up over the rest. It was tempting today to throw the nutrition out the window. With not being able to go home and eat the rest of my meals I wanted to just start in at lunchtime eating whatever I wanted... but I didn't, I ate what I had brought with me and got a sensable dinner later at Carls (BBQ Chicken Sandwiches PLANE are awsome - a nice REAL chicken breast, roasted, on whole wheat bun) An energy bar for meal 6 and I was set. Good thing I packed my four other meals! Still rolling strong and aiming for Jan 4th! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 09,December,2003 | Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands--and then just eat one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,December,2003 | I ended up sleeping most of the evening last night, I only woke up to eat! And I managed to keep it clean! It was amazing! At one point I stood in the kitchen with an ice cream bar in my hand and actually had it OPEN. All the 'normal' justifications run through my head. I'm sick, I'm not going to get all my food in anyway, I'll start tomorrow.... you know how it goes. Then I thought ... 'Today I choose to lose!' I wrapped the bar back up, put it in the fridge and fixed some boiled chicken. (a great thing for a sensative stomach) So, yes, I got all my calories in and kept it clean! I didn't workout but tonight it's deffinatly on the ajenda. I'm really looking forward to what the next four weeks will bring. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,December,2003 | If I chose to only look at my stats, the past 12 weeks could easily seem like a failure. After all, of six major goals, I only reached two of them. Not a good percentage, and yet, in my mind, this challenge was an unequivocal success, if, for no other reason then that I finished. As with any journey, there were rough spots. This one started out that way. Half way through my first BFL challenge, I was struggling to realize my capacity for change. Now I know the sky’s the limit. I began afraid, afraid of letting myself down, of letting others down and of failing, yet again. I was afraid I wasn’t doing enough, or perhaps that I was doing too much. I was afraid of bulking up, afraid of not losing enough, afraid of tripping, stumbling and never getting up again. I did stumble. I tripped, I fell in the mud I even slogged through it a time or two, but I never stopped. Because somehow, somewhere along the way I realized that the only way to lose the battle was to quit. I also learned that sometimes you step into quicksand, and you fight and you battle, and you just make things worse. Then you have to relax for a little while, float up to the surface, take stock of the situation and then move on. There’s a time for pushing and there is a time for resting. Now the challenge is over and I’ve taken a step back to look over my results, and I truly am amazed. I look at the progress I’ve made and I think, “Is that really me? Did I really do that?? There is a part of me that is proud, and yet another that is humbled because I didn’t do it alone. Without the love and support of my friends and family, both online and at home, I wouldn’t have made it. It’s because of you all that I’m finally starting to see the woman I’m going to be. And, I’m not afraid anymore. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,December,2003 | I really struggled with what my goals were going to be for the next four weeks. Having just came off 18 weeks I thought that perhaps I would coast these 4 weeks and set the stage for a January Challenge. then I realized that the prospect of not losing for 4 weeks (on purpose) was just TOO disheartening, so........ I am going to KICK BUTT for four weeks and set my most lofty goals yet... My birthday present to myself is to the lowest weight of my adult life. Less then 175 for my 35th! Of course nature had to throw a wrench into the deal...I had my day all planned, food ready to go I was all psyced for a GREAT workout tonight, and what do I do? I started feeling ill 1/2 way through the day. Went home sick and I've been in bed ever since! Funny thing is, it hasn't depressed me as much as I would have thought (though it's made it hard to think and to write a decent essay to end the blast). Watch out! I've got a goal, people, and I'm not going to let ANYTHING get in my way! :) I'm SO excited. Today's pictures really helped and I'm really excited about seeing what's to come. I really truely feel as though I CAN do this! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,December,2003 | Stats Weight -----------------194 -> 183 Loss 11 Body Fat---------------43.7 -> 36.41 Loss 7.6% Fat -----------------------84.8 -> 66.1 Loss 18.7 Lean Mass-------------109.2-> 116.9 Gain 7.7 Chest (under arms)-- 38.75 -> 37.5 Loss 1.25 Bust-----------------------44.5 -> 42 Loss 2.5 Ribs (Under Braline)--36 -> 35 Loss 1 Waist--------------------36 -> 34 Loss 2 Hips-----------------------46.5 -> 44 Loss 2.5 Butt ------------------------44 -> 42.5 Loss 2.5 Thighs ---------------------25.5 -> 24.75 Loss .75 Calves---------------------15 -> 14.75 Loss .25 Upper Arm----------------14.5 -> 13.75 Loss .75 Total Inches - 14 |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,December,2003 | I've been struggling with focus of late. The colors on my calander make that obvious :) I think I figured out part of my problem. I've been setting goals, thinking ahead, looking forward and toward the days to come and actually starting to BELIEVE I can reach those goals. All good things, but I've been forgetting to also live in the moment. To wake up and each and every day choose to loose THAT day. I need to create a sign to put up, somewhere in my house that reads 'today I choose to lose'. Because THAT's the choice that I need to make each time I faced with a decision. Do I have those cookies - or do I choose to lose? Do I skip my workout - or do I choose to lose? Although my ultimate goals are a long way off, it's the choices I make DAILY that are going to make those goals happen. If I don't choose to focus on what I can do today, 2004 is going to end up like every other year... October, November, December will roll around and I'll still be fighting the same 50 lbs! To tell you the truth I'm SO looking forward to the days when I can be fighting those last subborn 5 lbs! I'm starting to worry that at 2200 calories I'm hitting my metobolic limit, though I realize that after the week I had last week I need to give my body some time to settle. My problem is I don't know myself well enough I feel as if I can rightly judge what's happening. It may be my imagination but I feel as if I'm filling my clothes out a little more, and I DON'T like that. I'm giving it some time (no knee jerk reations here). Going to give my body the chance to burn off the turkey fest! It's also TOM so THAT could be adding to these feelings. I know I haven't been very positive or uplifting of late (or at least I don't feel that way) but I have to be honest both with you and myself. I need to get to the bottom of what's going on here so I can move on and move up (down?). Even if I could manage to lose 2 lbs a week (something that's not happened yet) starting today, it would be the end of May before I would hit my goal of 130. That's a lot of months of making choices and staying on track. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW this can happen and I know I'm capable of doing it, but it's going to take more work then I'm used to doing, and it's going to mean making sacrifices now and then. It's going to mean learning a lot about myself... maybe even things I don't like all that much. But I find out exactly what I'm made of! While we're finishing the Body Blog Blast I feel that sense of accomplishment and yet that urgency that there is so much more to do. It's like preparing for a long journey. You pack, you plan you pile everything into the car and yet set off. Yes you ARE on your way and that's a good thing, but there is a lot of road ahead of you. That's the way I feel, I've packed the car, I'm on the road. Now I have to deside if I'm going to drive as fast as I can toward my destination, go through the night and perhaps arrive exhausted. Or, I could take the scenic route, see the sights explore side streets.... Then there's the danger of getting hopelessly lost and never arriving! Lately I've been on one of those side streets.... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,December,2003 | I'm plowing through this holiday season. Weight is still comming down from the 'holiday splurge' and I'm back to 181! YAY (was 185 day after Thanksgiving) Still eating a TON of clean food. Nigel and I are BOTH ready to hit the excercise HARD it's going to be a fun 4 weeks until the new year! I brought the chocolate covered cherries into work and am letting the folks here finish them off. That was an easy one as I don't like cherries but it's nice to get it out of my house. Pantry is getting low though, and I definatly need to restock on the basics. With both of us (and sometimes three of us) eating 'clean' I'm finding we go through food like MAD! I've set a few goals for the next four weeks, and am thinking of more. I found an old journal from Jan 2002 and on the 3rd I was 181. Jan 3rd 2003 185! My goal is to make progress THIS year and come in somewhere in the 170's this January. (Even 179 will be good as I'm adding and NOT cutting calories the next few weeks) Mentally I'm feeling strong ready to hit it. My confidence is sky high... I KNOW I can do this and that's almost a forigne concept for me. This is going to MY year! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 02,December,2003 | I'm back at it, back on track and planning to kick some butt this week. Calories are up another 200 to 2200. My weight is getting back down to pre-thanksgiving/PMS levels! Yay! Next week I'll start a 4 week sprint to the new year! 2004 is the last year 'loosing wieght' is going to be on my new years resolution list. I learned a lot this weekend. I learned that I have a lot of demons still hanging out there waiting to lead me astray. Unlike Marie I did not find the will to eat 'a little of this or that' and leave it at that. And unfortunatly instead of Thanksgiving being a free day to enjoy good food and good company. I ate so much I was ILL! BAD! AQnd then it spilled over into OTHER days...I also let my old habit of putting others first come into play and instead of taking the time out to do what I needed and excercise, I sat around and had another handfull of 'cheesy poofs'! A sure way to make my thighs continue to LOOK like cheesy poofs! BUT, I'm not dwelling on what whouldda couldda shouldda been! Instead I'll take the opportunity to LEARN and figure out a plan to get through the rest of the holidays! I need to keep the 'sugar hangover' feeling fresh in my mind and as Brock once said, 'play the tape through', get past the instent gratification that comes from a piece of pumpkin pie and think instead of my long term plans and goals. (Actually it wasn't the one piece of pie that did me in, but the second and third!) I think I'm going to have to forgo my 'normal' holiday tradition and STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN! For some reason I have a real problem resiting my own cooking! Either that or I'll have to make sure I only bake things that I don't like! lol! (the chocolate covered brandied cherries haven't phased me once! ) I already took the step of getting this weekend's 'baked goods' out of the house (sent all the sugar cookies and leftover cranberry bread home with the kids) Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to have that stuff around the house and not have the constent urge to put it in my mouth, but it's not happening today! The good news is - we don't do a big dinner for Christmas, so I don't have THAT to live through. Just three company Christmas parties. I've already ordered chicken for dinner at one of them and I'll leave the room when they serve desert! lol. One of the others is a 'pot luck' so I'll bring food I can eat... the other maybe I can skip it! lol I'm still asking Santa for a treadmill for Christmas and hoping he'll bring it early so I can start getting my 'regular' cardio in. The weights are ready to go... I'm going to start thinking of my goals for the next 4 weeks, probably more strength goals than anything as I'll not start cutting until the after the first of the year. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,December,2003 | The holiday week picked me up, shook me, threw me down and then stomped on me! Then TOM came along and did the same leaving me red and yellow! ick! But I've one more week to go on this challenge and it's going to be a GREEN one! There will be NO looking back. What matters is what happens THIS week! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 30,January,2004 | Yesterday was green - No really obsticals no big hurtles just forward progress and I like it. I kept my commitment to do SOMETHING every day by doing some pilates. It felt really good to stretch and workout in such control. I felt really long and lean afterwords. On that vein, one of the things I DON'T like about not weighing and using the 'pant-o-meter' is my ability to convince myself that I'm not 'really' seeing the progress that I'm having. I'm pretty sure my slacks have been looser of late. Even the brand new 'small' size 14's that I just bought. Since I put them on after JUST washing them and was seeing some baggyness in new places I'm pretty sure that something is going on. I'll take measurements and pictures this weekend and know 'for sure'. Today should be clean - has been so far, though I wasn't as well prepared as I would like. Still I managed to grab a healthy bar, banana, and whole wheat pitas stuffed with chicken... it should tide me over until I can get home. Mood is up, progress is tentative, but green is green! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 29,January,2004 | Another part of this book just lept off the page and bit me on the nose, so I had to share it! '...I recommend that you should not even try to eat a perfect diet. Perfectionism is just a form of rigidity. It's simply compulsive 'not eating,' and it's usually replaced with compulsive eating after it become too unpleasant. Your real goal should be to overcome compulsiveness of any kind. To overcome compulsiveness, don't try to be perfect -- try to be good. Over the long run, good beats perfect every time' (The False Fat Diet Elson M. Haas, M.D.) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 27,January,2004 | It's too early to say I'm in the groove, but I'm certainly a LOT happier then I was before! Yesterday was GREAT despite a few potential setbacks. First of all, I had all day meetings - always a challenge. I got up and had some scrambled egg whites and then took a banana strawberry shake with me. By the time my first meeting started the shake was gone, and I was able to pass up the bagels and danishes that abounded. I got some time off for lunch so I had my prepared chicken patty - unfortuantly right after I finished eating I was invited out to lunch with a bunch of people to send off a coworker who was leaving. I went but sipped my diet soda and nibbled on nann while everyone else wolfed down some awsome smelling idian food. My last meeting was over at 3:00 so I headed for home - it was a BEAUTIFUL day, and I quickly changed into running clothes and I was on the track by 5:00! What a GREAT feeling to run again! I've lost a step or two but really got in a GREAT workout and I'm not at all worried about the drop in my mile time. The track was really soft due to all the rain we've been getting so my foot is completely pain free both last night and today. My legs WERE KILLING me last night (My bum was so sore from my leg workout) but it was worth it. I spent the rest of the night a MILE high. My meals today are planned and my lunches packed. I'm expecting another GREAT day. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 27,January,2004 | YES! a great day today. Not only were the eats clean, but I did my lower body workout, planned all my meals for tomorrow, and breakfast and lunch are prepared and sitting in the fridge ready to be consumed! I love days like this! I only got in one set of legs but MAN did I kill myself. I have a feeling I'll be feeling it for several days after! 60 lbs supper sets. Plie squat, dead lift, squat, split squat... 15 reps NO REST! I was panting and on the verge of puking by the end. My legs are still trembling as we speak!! My shoulders and hands got quite a workout too, just holding those weights for so long. My current goal is to do SOME sort of workout every day. I think cardio's going to be out of the question tomorrow so I'll either do upper body or pilates. I have meetings all day tomorrow so I probably won't be able to check in until the end of the day, but you can bet I'll do my best to make tomorrow a healthy day too! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 23,January,2004 | I started reading a book called 'The False Fat Diet' and came across a GREAT quote that I had to share.. 'If you strive for thin, you'll never win. Strive for health and thin will follow'. It so closely matches what Jeremy talked to me about last week that I have a feeling I'm supposed to be hearing this! Just like when three DIFFERENT people told me to back away from the scale. By the way 'The False Fat Diet' talks about food alergies and should be an interesting read. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 23,January,2004 | After the THIRD person (and the last being someone _I'm_ supposed to be mentoring) said 'get off the scale' I'm going to do it. I actually desided to NOT get on the scale for a few weeks over the weekend... and then in my morning fog stepped on the scale this morning - duh! Just to clear things up a bit - I DO know that I have to trust in my own hard work. The thing is, I KNOW I haven't been 100% - I suppose I use the scale, and the lack of progress that shows as a punishment. Sick and twisted I know. There was something else I realized while talking to my VGF Cory... Feel free to skip this deep emotional insite if you wish! lol You see, for years, basically 175 has been my goal... The ultimate measure of success.. Why? Well 175 represents every diet I ever failed. It represents 12+ years waisted in a distructive relationship. It represents a childhood lost to having babies and keeping house. It shouldsn't but it does. and I don't know how to change that. No, being 175 won't make me 18 again. It won't give me back the self esteem that was eroded every time I 'got close' but didn't make it. It won't heal the scars from 12 years of abuse... logically I know this, but somehow in my heart I feel as if 175 is some sort of symble... a sign that I HAVE made it, that I have healed, matured and that I HAVE overcome. I hate facing a problem that I don't have the answer to. This is one of them, but just because I don't have the answer doesn't mean that I can't keep moving, keep planning and keep doing good things for myself... And I'm going to step away from the scale... Overcoming - maturing and healing is so much more then a number on the scale. I know this - and I'm going to focus on that until my heart believes what my head knows.... Emotional Rant over! So - I've been eating clean - Yesterday I needed to recover, mentally and emotionally so I have myself a day off - but today I WILL train. I'm going to keep FIRM in my mind how good it feels to workout, how strong and powerful it feels... Not to mention the great things it does for my body. My body responds well to excercise, so I need to take advantage of it. One other thing I realized over the weekend is how much I REALLY miss running... That meditation time.. That time to focus on goals and think postive thoughts, always happened while I was running. I can't do that while trying to follow Billy Blanks on TV and I really can't do it while lifting wieights... When I'm running my body does what needs to be done and my mind is free. I need that. Ok - that's probably enough blathering for me! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 23,January,2004 | Wed didn't go as planned, and Thursday had no plan, so I'm left with a colorful calendar once again. But - My time to refocus is getting shorter and shorter. This morning when I got on the scale and it said 182 and 42% body fat I decided ENOUGH!!!! I've wasted enough of my time, enough of my LIFE! I'm taking back control and making canges in my life. Now to decide HOW. Well, I started the Discover Channel Diet, and I REALLY like it! It's so simple I just click a button and I have a menu and a shopping list. Sunday will be 'free' in the sense that I'm not going to 'plan' a menu, but I'm going to keep it in reason. Exercise has been the most inconsistent part of my program. I want to RUN! Every other form of cardio I find every excus in the book to put off. So I'm going to do a 3 on and 1 off weight program for a bit. Just Something everyday to get the body moving and the blood pumping. I did have a little talk with Jeremy, and I realized that more then anything what needs to change is me. There is obviously something INSIDE of me that's brining on these laps... I need to focus and I need to stop letting myself down. I'm worth the time it takes to plan and fix nutritious meals. No, wait - the FUTURE me is worth it! I'm worth the effort it takes to push out a few reps with the weights... I want to be strong and healthy... I want to be a role model. Heck, I'll admit it, I even want to be admired! As I've said before, visualization is a real problem for me, so I'm going to take the time to do a little artwork and put my head on the body I want. I'm adding pilates back into my program so that I can spend that time thinking the body that's sitting there, waiting for me to take posession of it. I want to ingrain that image in my head, I want to see it when I look in the mirror and in my dreams. And - I'm starting all of this TODAY - I'm not going put this off until Monday. Today is the day to take action! If I put it off until Monday I know what I'll do, I'll take a three day break and be back to 185! No more back sliding! I WILL get below 175. I've had ENOUGH! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 21,January,2004 | Things are going smoothly. Feeling much more in control of myself and still strong. Work has been really busy wich is a good thing, but leaves me little time to properly journal and/or keep up with all that goes on here. But I'm trying! Lower body workout planned for the day and I think I'll superset it as I've done my upper body. I'm enjoying the fast and intense workout. Eats are clean so far today and I'm planning on some nice black bean and rice burritos for dinner tonight. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 20,January,2004 | Just a little Funny that brightened up my day! Losing weight is the number New Year's Resolution. The problem is, hardly anything works. Well, I found this one diet that will absolutely shed the pounds. Read it and see if you don't agree, it works for my two-year-old. Miracle Toddler Diet! Guaranteed Results!!! People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two-year-olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !!! DAY ONE: Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest). Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor. DAY TWO: Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. Lunch: Half tube of 'Pulsating Pink' lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired. Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug. Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon. DAY THREE: Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair. Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible. FINAL DAY: Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog. Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it. Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 20,January,2004 | Yesterday felt like the first day that I wasn't fighting myself every step of the way. Today is good as well. I'm not feeling sky high, but I'm feeling strong. It's very different, but I like it. The best part of today is that I'm wearing my first pair of size 12 slacks. I feel bad that I've been so up and down here. A real roller coaster ride - I appoligize for dragging you all through it - but believe me, what was going on here was MUCH worse then what made it to these pages. Today's Menu poached eggs with toast Blueberry breakfast bar (oats, egg whites and blueberries) Chicken Salad (This was planned but my work took me out for lunch - I had chicken, dry pasta and veggies) Tuna Snack (Tuna, oats and yogurt) Stirfried chicken w/snow peas The work continues... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,January,2004 | Ready for the new week - ready to get my head, heart and body inline and start to make some PROGRESS here! Nigel started the fat burning phase of his diet today and THAT has REALLY pushed me along. Last week I was just so SICK of food! So I took a few days and while I'm sure I didn't do all that badly, I didn't plan or track ANYTHING so I can't give myself green for those days. I stopped by to see an old friend on Saturday. I had sent her the pictures of my daughter's formal and she was THRILLED to get them, and then mentioned that she haddn't seen the kids in about two years! So I bundled the girls in the car after my son's game (he didn't want to go with me - I'm getting the cold shoulder from him again) and drove them over to see her. She's an AMAZING woman who cares deeply about the people in her life. I sat and talked to her for several hours and was thrilled at how ALIVE and Bubbly she seemed. Finally I got her to stop talking long enough to ask her 'So, how are YOU!?' She took a deep breath and with a smile said, 'I'm really not doing well. I can't walk anymore, not even to go shopping, or through the neighborhood to visit with the neighbors. My hands stiffen up all the time.' She laughed and showed me her middle finger, 'especially this one. I get embaraced because I'll be talking and waving my hands and there's my middle finger poking out there, as though I'm being rude. I can't even make the number three. My hair is always a mess because I can't lift my arm, because of my shoulder, BUT (and this was the important part) I keep smiling. There are a lot of people in the world who are a lot worse off then I am. I have a loving family and friends, I make sure to thank God for what he's given me, and I'm content.' You see, this lovely, bubbly lady has lupus. Lupus is a chronic inflammatory disease that can affect various parts of the body, especially the skin, joints, blood, and kidneys. The body's immune system normally makes proteins called antibodies to protect the body against viruses, bacteria, and other foreign materials. These foreign materials are called antigens. In an autoimmune disorder such as lupus, the immune system loses its ability to tell the difference between foreign substances (antigens) and its own cells and tissues. The immune system then makes antibodies directed against 'self.' These antibodies, called 'auto-antibodies,' react with the 'self' antigens to form immune complexes. The immune complexes build up in the tissues and can cause inflammation, injury to tissues, and pain. In my freind's case, her Lupus is severe and it continually attacks the joints in her body, so that at 60 she can barely hobble across the room. And yet, this lady wakes up every morning and thanks God for her blessings. Who am I to complain about cravings in the face of this? How can I skip a workout when I know she's at home, right now, wishing she could just leave her house and walk around her block? This experiance, combined with a coming across a menu generator that I'm VERY pleased with Has me reved up, ready to go! It generates the menus for me, balances them and prints out the recipies, all I have to do is fix it and eat! No more obsessing over food for me - a really nice break. Today's menu Apricot w/yogurt, protein powder, walnuts and oatmeal Chocolate protein yogurt w/walnuts Cucumber pita w/boiled egg whites and grapes Peanut Butter Shake Greek Pasta Salad Workout - upper body weights. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,January,2004 | I'm green for yesterday. But frustrated. I know, I probably shouldn't be but I am! I'm at 180 this morning, and while in the shower I practically had a panick attack. I realized that I've been within 5 lbs (both over and under) 180 since October 23rd! This is obvously a 'set point' for my body as I maintained this weight for about three years before my apendex surgery without dieting or maintaining any serious excercise routine. So, I had this moment of panick - what If I can't get below this? I know that was unreasonable and irrational but it really struck me. You see, I feel a little like an analigy in a book I was looking over yesterday (Get Rich Slow - thanks Jeremy) I feel like a fly, who keeps throwing itself against the window trying to get outside, and just yards away there's an open door! Believe me... I keep looking for that door, but instead I keep finding another window to beat myself against! BUT - in truth I don't think I can REALLY say that I've hit the window until I've committed 100%. Maybe I haven't been strict enough in my diet. I know I havn't been 100% consitent in my workout. Perhaps to break through I'm going to have to be a LOT more consitent then I had to be to actually get to this point. I don't know. The thing is, I feel like I really need to NAIL a program before I say it isn't working. I'm not sure I've really NAILED the BFL program in the past two weeks. I think what's frustrating is I didn't HAVE to NAIL the program before now to still see results. So here's to even GREENER days my friends! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,January,2004 | I'm back for certain! The sun is shining today and I feel GREAT. Eats are clean and on plan. I've got an upper body workout planned and I'm actually looking forward to it! Still waiting for the scale to catch up with my mind, but hey I'm willing to be patient. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 14,January,2004 | I did it! I did it! I did it! Not only did I crank out a killer lower body workout today, but I made up my missed cardio as well... AND my nutrition has been right on track! I'm back BABY! And I'm going to burn some fat! By the first of Feburary I WILL be under 175 and at the lowest weight of my adult life! :) I'm pretty sure I finanlly started dropping some water weight today. My body usually dumps a BUNCH of weight the week before TOM and this is it, so, I'm going to push for all I'm worth and drop as much as I can because the week after the scale won't budge! I'm ready for it though! Oh, YES! it's feels so good to have the fire back! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,January,2004 | My mood has risen steadily today. Aided, in part, I believe, by an early morning leg workout that, frankly, ROCKED! I'm sticking to clean eats today and have plans to do some cardio tonight (the leg workout was a 'make up day') I've realized that to HAVE a transformation I have to THINK of this as a transformation. No more thinking 'Well it's going to take me MONTHS to get to my goal, so what difference will one skipped workout make?' I had lost sight of my favorite saying 'You can't expect extraordianry results from taking ordinary measures.' My measures have been even less then ordinary for the most part the past few months and I HAVE to break that habit. Otherwise, I'm going to continue to see less then ordinary results... Or in my case, NO results. This IS a transformation. I think my transformation before kind of startled me. In the back of my mind there was this little voice that kept saying you only get one like that, it's slow and steady from now on. But that's NOT TRUE! there is no reason I can't continue to transform my body. Why I can't continue to have dramatic results for the next twelve weeks, and the twelve weeks after that, and so on and so on... I don't have to wait a year, or six months, or even three. I can see changes in three weeks if I put my mind to it. And I shall! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,January,2004 | I struggled. MAN did I struggle. I fought for my life last night I finally managed to pull myself out of the mud and mire and get back on track. But just barely. I had one of those nights when I argued with myself for about 1/2 an hour about excercising (plus I was having major cravings) Normally when I deside to workout everything is golden after that, but last night I fought myself the ENTIRE time. It sucked! But I did it! I finished green and I'm better for it. Even if I didn't enjoy it. Tonight the plan is to do a lower body workout. I think I've finally recovered from last week's lower body workout. It felt easy when I was doing it, and early the next morning I felt fine, but later! wow!! Nutrition is on track for the day, though I need to sit down tonight and do a menu for the rest of the week and make sure the cupboard is stocked. I have to admit I'm not 'on fire' at the moment. I'm just doing what needs to be done and waiting for the motivation to strike again. What's important is that I keep the ball rolling through the 'non-motivation' period. Then when motivation strikes again, I'll have made progress and will have that fuel to add to the fire. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,January,2004 | I feel SO good today. Three green days in a row! Not only is my mood sky high, but I'm feeling REALLY thin today. Yeah, the scale is being stuborn, but I'm listening to the advice of someone near and dear to me (yes that's you Marie) and holding onto the idea of trusting in my own hard work! As for feeling thin - my work slacks are REALLY starting to get baggy. I may end up buying some new ones soon, but I'm hoping to hold out until I'm in a size 10. (Which is one of my goals at the end of this challenge.) Water wasn't as good yesterday, but better then a 'typical' day for me. I'm still feeling swollen and hoping that it's just my body being stuborn. I'll keep dosing it with water and hope it get the idea that I'm not going to dehydrate it again. Yeah, Jeremy, I'll keep in mind that it will do things in it's own time, not mine! I have a few more weeks before I'll seriously worry about it. Eats were clean yesterday, even with my Working dinner. They brought in subway sandwiches, and I managed to scronge for something to fit into my plan. Luckily, they had ordered some turkey on wheat bread. It had mayo and other 'crap' on it, but I scraped that off. One of my coworkers chuckled as I sat there dumping stuff off a second sandwich but I figure, a few months from now _I_ will have the last laugh. Unfortunatly, starting at 6:30am and not getting home until 9:30pm left me WIPED OUT. So, I made the executive decision to post pone my lower body workout until today. As I said before this acutally works out nicely as it will push my cardio to tomorrow, and I'll be able to run outside (barring rain) the LBWO I have planned should TOAST my legs... I'm almost dreading the DOMS already, but at the same time, look forward to it! EIther way I plan to PUSH myself for all I can. Obviously I haven't started my Spirit Mapping yet. From the time I got home until I went to sleep I was planning today's nutrition and review goals, so indepth jornalling is still on hold. I am having a LOT of fun encoraging a few other ladies on thier journey and I'm finding the challenge of being someone else's support is doing a LOT to keep the fire going and to push me to stick to my plan. Probably the only struggle I'm currently waging is my ever present need to see results NOW. It's only been a few days! but I'm looking for week four results already. I'm not letting it eat me up though. I keep reminding myself that I'm doing the right thing and if I continue to do the right thing good things will HAVE to happen. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 07,January,2004 | Two days in a row, MAN that feels good! Today, I'm working on three. A PB for this year ;) I have to admit that I'm going for a 'Marie like' year this year. I know that's setting my sites high, but why not aim high? I had a cardio session with Billy Blanks last night. Not my first choice for cardio, but until Santa brings my tredmill, it's all I've got. I'll be so glad when it starts staying light longer and I can get back to running outside again. Last night, after I laced up my running shoes I had the most OVERWELLMING urge to RUN! It was SO frustrating to be locked in the house, but there was no way I was going out when it was 45 degrees outside and PITCH black. Needless to day, punching the air with Billy did a lot to vent my frustrations. I really PUSHED myself and even got a cramp in my side at one point. It felt great! :) Eating has been clean, but I'm still retaining water. I feel a little crappy in that regard with a tummy ache and swollen fingers, but I expect it will cycle itself sooner or laiter. My guess is, dropping the cafein might have something to do with it, after all, I've been ODing on a diaretic for so long that my body is hording water in case I deside to do it again. I expect a flush soon, as I've been dosing myself with pleanty of water over the next few days. I have No soda at home so it's pure water for me from 5:00pm on and that's made a major difference. Plus I'm drinking 32 oz AT LEAST at work at my desk. I still haven't had time to start my Sprit mapping. I spent some cuddle time with my sweetie last night in time, which is more important as any journal could ever be. It sometimes amazes me that after almost three years together the flame is brighter now then it was when we were 'supposively' in the 'honeymoon' stage. We watched a really AWFULL movie last night (Shallow Hal), and while I was leaving for work this morning he hugged me close and said 'I'm so lucky! I have a woman who's beautiful on the inside AND the outside, that way I can be Shallow!' He's such a sweet goofie man! Plans today are in place, and I've got my lunches with me. I have a dinner meeting tonight at work, but I'm brining a bar with me in case the food sucks (and it often does). I had to be into work early (along with working late) So, although, I've planned an upper body workout for tonight, I've left myself the option of doing it tomorrow without penalty. Sometimes you have to adapt. Besides, if I have my 'rest' day today, I can do cardio on Saturday and that means I can run outside! Hmmm this is sounding like more a blessing then a problem... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 06,January,2004 | Yesterday was Green - No problem there. I had to adjust my nutrion a little as I hadn't gone shopping yet but it was all CLEAN eats. Today looks like more of the same, with a cardio session scheduled for later. I'm feeling better today then I have in a LONG while. I've been drinking a LOT more water and I'm sure that's made a difference. Still haven't cut the caffien, but I haven't REALLY made the commitment to do that. I quit for several hours on jan 1st but I felt SO crappy that I caved and started in again. BUT I've cut WAY back and may be able to eliminate it entirely before too long. That is IF I decide at that point that it's entirely nessisary. I don't really feel as if I HAVE to give up soda entirely, I just don't want to be DEPENDENT on it. I haven't really started my spirit mapping journal yet. Last night's shopping took up a lot of time, so by the time I had done that, fixed dinner, cleaned up, excercised and planned prepared for today, it was time for bed! I also didn't get up as early as I had wanted... BUT I did get up earlier then usual and made it to work 'on time' so I'm proud of my progress. I've also made it my 'job' to bug a few people at work who have expressed an interest in getting in shape. As I said to Cory, knowing I'm going to be asking someone 'Did you work out?' make it that much more vital to me that _I_ workout! I've also restarted a daily email support system with a friend, and have been approached by someone who saw my profile on the body for life tracker webpage, and asked for email support. Once again I'm surrounding myself with people who support and encorage me and I can feel myself growing from all the positive energy. This challenge and the susequent transformation is going to be AMAZING, I can feel it! :) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 05,January,2004 | I went out for some 'retail theropy' at lunch today. I thought I would 'challenge' myself and my goal to be a size 10 by the end of this challenge. BOY was I surprised when I took some size 10's into the dressing room and I could button AND zip them. A few could have even been worn in mixed company! so, there is NO doubt in my mind that size 10 is dueable in 12 weeks. It might even be selling myself short... but it's something to shoot for, that's for sure. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 05,January,2004 | Well, today is really my 'New Years Day'. This is when all my resolutions take effect. I had a nice LONG weekend. Enjoyed the New Year, and my birthday and now it's time to get to work! I've already promised myself that I will be unrecognizable by the end of this challenge, and I'm SO excited about the changes that will be happening. I've done a few things that should help things along, and a LOT of thinking and planning over the weekend. 1) I bought the BFL Journal. I've enjoyed the whole proccess so far and I think this will help keep me focused. 2) I've desided to do a pure BFL style challenge. I really debated over this, and due to the fact that I still have a lot to lose, and a few more challenges before I'll have to worry about 'fine tuning' and losing that last few Body Fat percentages, I've reasoned that it's easier for me, both mentally and physically to do BFL 'by the book' for the next 12 weeks. 3) I bought a jornalling book. As everyone is aware the inner transformation is just as important as the outer, and there is no doubt in my mind that my inner transformation is still in process. I bought this amazing book called 'Mapping your Soul' and a journal to answer the questions posted in it. I'm hoping this will bring me even closer to knowing myself and feeling comfortable in my own skin. I've planned my menues for this week already and have my grochery list written out. Oh, and in case you didn't notice - I've done my pictures. I feel things have backslid a little recently, but I've no regrets over how I spent my holidays. Now it's time to focus... and I've no reasons, no excuses NOT to have one terrific day after another! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 27,February,2004 | My baby is 16 today. Her Dad is taking her and her date out to dinner tonight before the dance and as a surprise I've been invited along with her grandparents, and several of her friends from school. I'm bringing her 16 roses and some baloons. Her 'real' present will be a bit later. She and I are going to spend the weekend at a spa along the ocean getting facials, mud baths, massages, and riding horses. But we want to let the weather clear up a bit to go. In other news all is going well with me. Another clean day eating though I've had to push trough a few cravings last night and today. There is little so hard on me as walking through the grochery store some days. Today was one of them as I wanted ever single sugar/carb loaded thing I walked past. I bought almonds and left. Tonight should be a challenge as the birthday dinner is at olive garden. I've already had to talk myself out of a big plate of pasta. I WILL be eating chicken tonight! I've been below 180 for two days now, I will NOT sabitague myself! There is NO excuse worth seeing the scale go back up. Not at this point. Tomorrow we're going to the Winchester Mystery House. For those who don't know this is the house built by the Winchester Heiress. She believed that the spirits of those killed by her husbands rifles were haunting her and as long as construction was going on at her house it would keep them at bay. She had people working on her house EVERY day from 1884 - September 5, 1922. That's 38 years! Part of the home was destroyed by an earthquake and rebuilt, so it's actually smaller then it could have been. Number of rooms: 160 Cost: $5,500,000 Number of stories: prior to 1906 Earthquake - 7; presently 4 Number of acres: originally 161.919; presently 4 Number of basements: 2 Number of windows: frames 1,257, approx. 10,000 Number of doors: doorways 467 approx., 950 doors not including cabinet doors. Number of fireplaces: 47 (gas, wood, or coal burning) Number of chimneys: presently 17 with evidence of 2 others Number of bedrooms: approx. 40 Number of kitchens: 5 or 6 Number of staircases: 40, total of stair steps - 367 Number of skylights: approx. 52 Number of gallons of paint required to paint entire home: over 20,000 Number of ballrooms: 2 (1 nearly complete and 1 under construction) Blueprints available: No, Mrs. Winchester never had a master set of blueprints, but did sketch out individual rooms on paper and even tablecloths! The most interesting part is that though the house was built in the victorian era it has modern heating and sewer systems, gas lights that operated by pressing a button, and three working elevators. As to why it's a 'Mystery House'. It also boasts a stairway to 'nowhere' a seance room and other such 'oddities'. Truely a cool place to visit if you are ever in the bay area. We're also planning to hike the dipsea trail this weekend for a 'trial' run. We'll walk it of course! Also Andrew I wasn't the one bragging - Nigle and his coworkers were, I'm just along for the ride! Alrighty then - I think that's all for me! Have a great weekend everyone |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 26,February,2004 | I forgot to add that not one but TWO different people mentioned that I was looking good and commented on my weight loss. Talk about a boost! One was my neighbor who I happen to see about once a month. He said 'You're still losing weight arn't you?' when I said I was trying he said 'Well you are looking really good'. *ping* Then one of the ladies at work said she liked my outfit today and then said 'You're looking good that outfit shows off your weight loss'. *ping* again. I wish you all could hear the conversation going on here at work concerning the poisening of america through our food. I'm just trying to keep my head low... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 25,February,2004 | Another great day on plan, and my weight is still dropping - 179.5 today! My cravings have been little to none, and that's ALWAYS a boost. I did find an EXCELLENT and easy sweet treat... made with Ricotta cheese! Who would have thought. I was sceptical at first, but after one bite I realized that this was a snack for me... Basically you need .5 cup of Ricotta cheese and a packet of splenda - after that it's up to you. some suggestions: .25 tsp lemon zest and .25 tsp vanilla extract or .25 tsp almond extract and 1 tsp slivered toasted almonds or simply .25 tsp vanilla extract or .5 tsp unsweetened cocoa .25 tsp vanilla and a dash of espresso powder, or .25 lime zest and .25 tsp vanilla extract. My guess is that you could add just about ANY extract to it (I have coconut at home and may try that with some ccocoa powder tonight)... It's creamy sweet and reminds me slightly of cheese cake... one of my favorites. Lunch yesterday ended up not being a challenge at all. I desided to skip the pizza place and got to Fresh Choice (That's a salad bar chain for those of you who arn't familure with it) I knew there I could have a much better selection and a greater supply of protien. SO... Lettuce, greens, spinach along with chicken, soybeans, eggs, bacon bits, cheese, sunflower seads, olvie oil, garbonzo beans (my 'special treat to myself) and black olives... all went into one of the best salads I've had in a LONG time... I skipped the bread even though it was included and the pasta, pizza and potato bars... amazingly the salad was satisfying all on it's own and I ate almost all of it... something I don't normally do. I did make sure that I had a LARGE variety of favors on it though and I think that helped a lot. Dinner last night was another 'new' meal for me. I had bought sirloin steak and though I love steak, I'm the WORSE at preparing it, plus I didn't have time to let it marinate overnight... So a little searching on the reynalds wrap website and I found a recipe... I sliced the steak, threw some low sugar tariki sause on it along with ginger, sasami oil and garlic powder threw it and some apareagus on some aluminum foil, wrapped it up and threw it in the oven for about 20 minutes. That and some brown rice and dinner was SERVED. I made enough that I have leftovers for lunch even! I am feeling SO much better about things now. Food is easy again and I like it that way. No, I'm not currently exercising. I want to get through this week ON plan. Focusing on making my food goals. Next week I'm going to start to hit things once again. I'm hoping that I'll have enough extra money from this check that I'll have the down payment for my treadmill - YAY! I don't know how long it will take to ship but my hope is that week after next it will be here. In the meanwhile I may just do something simple like calastenics and/or walking for my cardio. My fiance and I have a physical challenge coming up that's lit the excercise fire in both of us. It seems one of his coworkers was complaining about the hike she went on last weekend. Of course the 'brag session' started and that lead to a challenge being layed down. We are all going to do the hike next march so we have some time to 'train' for it. It'll be fun. Overall I would have to say my mood and outlook are improving once again. I've actually taken a few steps toward starting my own business once again. A 'temporary' webpage is up I just need to reload FrontPage on my home computer so I can upload the 'upgraded' temporary webpage. That one will probably stay there awhile until we can totally redesign. My fiance wants to write our webpage and has ALL these ideas but I know what his time is like and so I'm not going to hold up everything for the 'new and improved' website. We need to sit down tonight and set goals for our first 'cutomers' I'm thinking we might be able to have everything in place in June, or maybe even May... I want to have things established enough that we will be in full swing by winter. There I've said it! Ok - I think I should get some work done |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 25,February,2004 | Yesterday was 100% nutrition wise again. My clothes are back to feeling baggy and I'm feeling TONS better. Actually feeling that small little germ of hope again. My head always knows that change is possible, but sometimes my heart doesn't believe it. For now the entirity of ME seems to be in the same place and that's a relief. Work has calmed down a little today. Part of my goal in journaling was so that when I was finished, someone could look at it and be encoraged. I never expected it to be 'easy'. I think if someone else reads the things I go through and realizes that even though life and even your own body throws you curveballs, and you DON'T GIVE UP... you will, eventually, reach your goals then I've achieve something. I think there are few things more discoraging to someone on a journey then to look up at someone at the top of the mountain and have them say... 'This was easy, I don't know why you are struggling so'. When I make it I want people to know that it wasn't easy and yet I did it anyway... If that makes any sense at all. In a way, it's a little like christianity... Though I hate struggling I know it makes me stronger and I should be thankful for it... I learn valuable lessons every time. anyway - I'm off to grab a salad going to get a salad bar at the pizza place - pray for me! *grin* |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 24,February,2004 | Well I'm still here. Still fighting but actually winning more then losing once again. After a BAD weekend I was up to 184! but I knew most of it was water weight and sure enough, it's all gone today. I've tasked myself with being strict until I can BREAK this 178-181 yoyo I'm on... NO MORE free days until I've broken the 175 mark. I'm getting closer and closer to getting my treadmill and I have to say I absolutly CAN'T wait! we've moved furniture around and have a spot reserved for it so I'm hoping that SOON very SOON I will be running in the comfort of my own home. then I'll have no more excuses :) Food has been 100% for two days... Work has been HORRIBLY stressful... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 18,February,2004 | Oddly enough, feeling better So yesterday afternoon I drew a line in the sand, and said to myself ..'Self, why are you doing this? Why wait for tomorrow to get back on track? Does it really matter that I cannot get a 'green' today? NO! I can still make my next meal the best it can be, and the next after that and the next after that... ' So, I did! To try and stem a little of this yo-yoing... I cut all carbs except for veggies (and I'm eating LOADS of those) This is usually a really easy way for me to put a crunch on the cravings monster. Ironically enough, last night I started feeling REALLY crappy physically just as my mental angst started to lift. Still, I've managed to make postive choices today despite TOM's sledgehammer-like arrival. I picked up a bottle aleve and now I'm feeling as good physcially as I am mentally. Better, but not out of the woods. One thing that hit me like a brick between the eyes this morning as that, once again, I've allowed my suplimentation to slide. My body has made it obvious that Calicium and B6 is essential to combate my PMS symtoms, and yet, for some reason, when I started stuggling this month the fact that I had fallen behind seemed to slip my mind. I carry both in my purse vitamin caddy so I've taken some today and I'll do continue to do so EVERY day! Alright - going to keep focusing on, one meal at a time... plod through the next few days. It's not about feeling it, it's about doing it. And I will! (I got the 'Yoda' pep talk today can you tell?) a few shouts before I get back to work... |
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