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1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 17,February,2004 | My meals are planned, and I actually should have a pretty stressfree day. for the first time in about two years I'm not under the pressure that comes from working at a client site. I'm actually working the entire day out of my companies office. This is the most relaxed I've felt in ages. The really strange thing is that I didn't realize the pressure I put myself under to be 'on' when working for a client. I guess it just goes to prove that I have a serious 'work ethic'. Or maybe just a need to prove myself! :) Last night was anothe busy night. I didn't sit down until 10:00! When I say I didn't sit down I mean it literally - I even ate standing! I had to do some shopping (I walked in for fat free cheese and Milk and walked out having spent $130 - how does that happen?) Then when I got home I found ants had invaided! Nigel's back in school (last class before he gets his BS! YAY!) so I made him sit down and study while I cleaned the kitchen, cooked dinner, planned and cooked lunches, and cleaned the kitchen AGAIN! Then I worked on the fish tank and finally collaped on the couch. Once again I found I couldn't just SIT there, so I did a nice pilates session before callapsing with a hot wrap for my neck and shoulders. WHEW! I did realize that I can't keep going on like this. I NEED ME time at night so I've got to find a way to divide the work a little better while still giving him time to do his school work. Or - I've got to stop trying so hard and just let SOME things slide - but WHAT? Today I need to plan the weekend, (we've got 4 kids between the ages of 16 and 10 coming over for THREE DAYS!) update the budget, plan and fix tomorrow's meals and find some time to workout.... Oh - and go to the laundrymat and do the laudry for the week! EEK!!! I think I'll make a list and have Nigel pick a few things and I'll try to do the rest. Whatever's not done by 8:00 just WON'T get done! (except the workout). The capricorn in me has been in full force of late.. time to let the monkey out to play! :) I've got my lunches with me today, but I've been invited out to lunch... still debating - but it's difficult to let all that hard work go to waste... (and all the bad food go to my waist!), so we'll see. The good news is that for the second week in a row I've put on my 'tightest' pair of size 14 slacks and thought - hmmm these are loose! I think I've finally convinced myself that it's not my imagination or wishful thinking... I KNOW that these were washed in hot water and put in the dryer. They SHOULD be tight, but aren't...AND, my weigth's been 179 for two days in a row. If this keeps up I'll reach my goal of 175 before the end of the month after all! woo hooo! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,February,2004 | I just found this quote And loved it, so I had to share... It is difficult to inspire others to accomplish what you haven't been willing to try. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 11,February,2004 | Last night was GOGOGO from the time I got home until the 9:30pm. I finally collapsed on the couch and curled up to rest... BUT something wouldn't let me and I had to get up and do my leg workout. It was good, I was TIRED, my legs are a little tender today. Most excellent. Eats are VERY clean, lunches were packed last night and I've got them in my bag beside me. I ALMOST fit into my smallest skirt today.. heh. It's actually a size 14, but SOMEONE put it in through the wash and it shrunk (I swear!) It's close though, really close. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 10,February,2004 | I tend to jump on things, then when I sit down and really THINK about it, realize that maybe I shouldnt have the restart is one of those things. but, I realized that I cant throw away the start to a challenge its not as if those weeks didnt happen. They are part of the make up of ME if the ME Ive made isnt what I would like it to be, then I have to change my ACTIONS I cant turn back time. I also agree that I need to look further then 12 weeks for me especially Somewhere in the dim recesses of my mind I think I realize that job ahead of me is going to take a LOT longer then 12 weeks. More like 31 weeks (If Im lucky). But at the same time, its important for me to think about and keep sight of the small goals along the way. The next 12 weeks the next week the next day! No Im not 12 weeks from perfection, but Im one day away from a better me and the day after that, and the day after that ad nausium Impatience what a NASTY word, and yet so much a part of me Lack of vision, that Ive been working on, and I believe I look beyond the next 12 weeks. But it never hurts to be reminded As for basing my progress, and my schedule on what EAS churns out that I WONT do! Now as for my report I didnt workout last night. I was just feeling too crappy still. BUT I made sure today started out AWSOME by fixing my lunch and having it all ready to go this morning. Makes my entire day better when I start it with my lunch already packed! All the crappyness from yesterday was gone today when I woke up and it only reinforces that I need to STAY AWAY FROM MILK!! Food had been right on schedule, and Im planning a leg workout for tonight. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 09,February,2004 | I guess Ill start at the beginning Friday I got off early, but was busy getting the house, cat and car ready for the weekend. No rest for the wicked we finally were ready to leave at about 7:30pm. No workout :( We stopped at the store and I picked up some authorized snacks because I knew we would be on the road for a while and I figured I would need to eat at least one more meal before we got there. I have one question though, what is it about driving for long distances that turns me into a munchie monster? Still I kept it authorized and other then the missed workout counted it as a successful day. We got in to Nigels parents house at about 3:00am, we dropped off right to sleep. I didnt get up in time to do more then get ready and eat before we were off to the orchid show. So I missed my run. We had some trouble finding things we could eat in his parents refrigerator so we stopped at the store and picked up some supplies. Nigels dad cornered me at one point to ask why Nigel was on a diet I didnt really know what to say. We did really good on each of our plans until about 3:00pm. We were tired hungry and dropped into a restaurant with less then ideal choices thats when the dam broke! The rest of the weekend was a feeding frenzy! One interesting tid-bit is when we went to Chinese later that night I broke open my fortune and it said, Work on Improving your Exercise Routine. I kid you not! The culmination of the weekend was a Oreo Cookie Shake for me last night. MAN did I pay for it! I had a tummy ache for the rest of the evening. I work up this morning with what I suspect was a sugar hang over and/or the rest of my allergic reaction to the dairy. My nose was stuffed up, I felt like I was going to hurl and I could hardly walk across the room I was so dizzy! No more milkshakes for me! Ive gradually felt better as the day has worn on, thank goodness. I did go shopping this afternoon. I picked up my second pair of size 12 pants!! And (TMI alert) a new bra in a smaller size! The pants are a little tight but wearable and another goal for me to shoot for (them fitting properly). Another note regarding this weekend: I came home to FINALLY find my EAS packet in the mail too late for me to send in my four-week progress photos! So, today I called EAS and asked them what to do. The guy was nice and informed me that I should simply take pictures now and indicate on the packet how long of time it was Then send in my 12-week pictures at the correct time. Not receiving my EAS packet was one of the things that prompted me to restart my challenge now I find out that I can still go with my original start date! And I will I want this to be a year of transformation for me, and while January wasnt stellar for me it was still part of this year, and part of this transformation. This means that I dont miss the first round! Yay! So tonight, Ill be taking my photos with the regular camera and tomorrow Ill be getting them developed. If all goes well Ill have my four week pictures into EAS by tomorrow afternoon! So, that leaves me 7 weeks to finish my first round transformation. Put your tray tables and seat backs in the upright position and fasten your seatbelts its going to be a bumpy ride! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 06,February,2004 | Took off early yesterday so I could be home before dark. I changed clothes, and headed off to the track. I wasn't really sure what my goals for the day were going to be, but after I started I desided to do a moderate intensity cardio and go for distance instead of time. I suppose the most interesting part of the workout was when I got to 1.25 miles and checked my watch - it seems I run at the same 'average' pace weather I'm doing Moderate Intensity or Interval training because I got to almost the same exact spot on the track at 17 minutes last night as I did on Tuesday. I did the last lap (to bring the total to 1.5 miles) at a level 10 and finished in 19:30. For a penguin like me - who hasn't run since October I'm pretty happy with that! The best part is that I'm not having any trouble at all with my planter faciitis. My calves are still tight in that weird spot - and I'm starting to think that it has something to do with the spongy condition of the track. Still I'm working through it. Most importantly I feel FANTASTIC mentally. I'm getting SO much done at night. AND my pant-o-meter is still showing postive signs and - as if I didn't need further proof that my scale is whacked - my weight was 169 today. lol! I think it's probably more like 179. But more importantly I'm feeling energized and thinner... This weekend will pose a challenge as Nigel and I are driving down south to visit his parents. We're leaving right after work, so I don't know when I'll get my upper body workout in. And then eating 'clean' while visiting someone else - esecially someone who like to take us out to dinner - is always a challenge. Nigel's diet is even stricter (is that a word?) then mine so he's really got a challenge. (He's keeping his fat below 10% AND sugar below 10% of his carbs) Still we're both committed so we can support each other... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 05,February,2004 | I went by the store, and since I was getting the oil changed on my car picked up 'Prevention' magazine to read while I waiting. Not something I normally read but there was a BEAUTIFUL picture of Fergie on the front and I wanted to read what she had to say... BUT I ran across THIS article urlLink How do you see your body? and this urlLink Love the Body You Have Interesting! AND some info that Chaste tree may help PMDD symptoms!! urlLink Herbal Solution for Severe PMS WHOOP I've added that to my list for next time I go to the vit store... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,February,2004 | I just remembered a dream I had last night - I pulled off a pair of pants, all excited because I was fitting into a size 7 - until I looked at the tag and they were a size 2!! Hmmm... maybe I fianlly AM planting this into my sub-consious... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,February,2004 | Yesterday was really interesting. As I said before I managed to make it through my meeting and avoid the egg rolls and chicken wings - I got home about 9:00pm and was starving and exhausted. I ate, changed into my P.J.'s and curled up on the couch thinking I would nod off. But I didn't! My concious wouldn't let me. I kept thinking about my goals and how it felt every time I wrote out those goals as if I had already achieved them. I wanted those feelings to be REAL and that meant doing the time... So I got up, changed into my workout clothes and did my leg workout! Super set of plie' squats, dead lifts, squats and split squats 60 lbs 15 reps. I rested and did the whole thing again at 40 lbs! Mentally and Emotionally it felt like an awsome breakthrough. I'm finally back to honoring self promices! I did a really funny thing last night. Something that's been on my 'to do' list for a while. I scanned the cover of a M&F Her magazine from a few months back. I've been saving this one just for the body of the girl that was on the cover.... I LOVE her look. So I scanned the cover and then paisted my head on it. I have to say that for maybe 1/2 a second or so I actually could see it... see myself wearing that body. The rest of the time I was too busy laughing. My fiance' and I spent some time talking last night about goals and such. What's funny is even HE can't really wrap his head around my ultimate goal - 130. I want to lose 50 pounds! I guess I don't look or act the way that people think that someone who has 50 pounds to lose should? Anyway he finally aquiessed to the idea provided I don't get all skinny and stringy. 'You have to have muscle!' was his comment. GOD, I LOVE that man! :) I assured him that 130 is a LONG way off. 9 months if I lose 2 lbs a week, and that has NEVER happend to me. Basically I told him that there was pleanty of time between then and now to reassess... He's allowed to say 'stop!' at any point along the road. In reality though my goal at the moment is 175... I told him that I can't remember what it feels like to be less then that - everything past that is all new ground. There is no doubt in my mind that my 'weight perception' is warped - I remember being unhappy in Highschool at 125 and sometimes wonder if it was just the anorexic 80's that spawned that feeling, or if I really am a lot smaller framed then I think.... BUT - as I said - those numbers are a LONG way off so for now I'm focusing on today! :) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,February,2004 | Well, like the bone-head I'm known to be I left the 1/2 of a sandwich that I had planned for my dinner at work! And, as I suspected, there was nothing that wasn't breaded and/or fried at the meeting. When I commplained that I couldn't eat anything and someone asked why I answered 'Because I'm alergic to being fat!' The good news I nibbled some fresh veggies and ate dinner when I got home! AND I did my lower body workout - it's turning out to be a GREAT week! More tomorrow! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,February,2004 | I went to the store and firmed up my nutrition plans for the day. 1 Turkey Sandwich from the Deli (On sliced bread NOT a roll) and a few nutrition bars and I'm set. 1/2 the sandwich for lunch, 1/2 for dinner (I'm not going to trust 'Heavy Apitizsers' again) a bar for a mid-morning snack and a bar for mid-afternoon. Now the only challenge left is skipping 'a drink with the boys' after the meeting is over! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,February,2004 | Another Day Down And I'm happy to say GREEN! I did as I planned and got off work early. Then I rushed home, changed and went outside for a run. It felt so good! I swear it felt as if I was flying around the track! I did the first mile in 12 minutes (a pretty good run for me) and in the 17 I ran I went just over 1.25 miles. The wierdest thing is that my gait seems to have changed some. I seem to be streching further forward (perhaps a reduction in my tummy roll?) and bounding off my back foot more - or so I'm assuming - because I got sore in a totally new spot. Just below the curve of my calf - not low enough to my ankle or achiles but not high enough for me to consider it my calf. Normally my first few runs I'm feeling it in my shins and my foot. I spent the rest of the night last night hobbling around because it hurt to flex or point my foot. Needless to say pushing myself like that was a challenge. But a good one! By the time I finished I was REALLY FINISHED! One thing I'm curious about Tom is how you mange to run when it's so COLD outside!? It wasn't even THAT cold out but I felt the effects of it. For one, my eyes water when I run in the cold - so that starts my nose running, so it gets hard to breath through my nose so I start breathing through my mouth - spit builds up, and the cold gets into my lunges and burns... When I stopped my lungs hurt, my head hurt - my sinuses hurt from breathing the cold and I felt sick from sucking air into my stomach - and wierdest of all, my JAW hurt. And yet - at the same time I felt elated! I had set a goal and met it! I actually met the goal I set at the begining of each interval too and that helped push me along! Nutrition was on track for the day too. Today will be a little more challenging as I have a 'dinner' meeting and I didn't pack my lunches today so I'll be eating on the run most of the day. I have a loose plan in my head of how to get through and I'm feeling confident enough to pull it off! I'm still passing up the table full of leftover Christmas food. and yesterday skipped the birthday cake. Surprisingly I haven't had any major cravings, though I'm pretty sure that has to do with keeping my fat levels nice and high. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,February,2004 | Yesterday was a great day. Food was on plan and CLEAN. I did a short but intense upper body workout and even managed to keep my diet soda intake to a 'reasonable' level. I'm looking forward to another clean day today. My lunches are packed and ready for when hunger strikes! The only possible stumbling block is that SOMEONE brought in chirstmas candy! What WERE they thinking!? But I'm having no cravings and walking past it a few times has produces NO twinges. One MAJOR alteration in my thinking this challenge is that - due to my irratic workout schedule, I'm not going to eat as if I AM working out. Instead I'm going to go lighter throughout the day and if I manage to workout, add an extra shake at the end of the day. We'll see how it goes over the next few weeks. The plan tonight is to get off early and hopefully get a run in before it gets too dark. If that doesn't happen then it will be a nice quiet evening with Billy Blanks. In eather case, I'm planning to do some Pilates as I've found that really makes my feel GREAT afterwords and does wonder for my posture. I'll leave you with this insite from a friend of mine... 'I had a moment yesterday where I just wanted to say 'forget it, this is too hard' but then I knew I'd be so disappointed in myself and besides, on the scale of things, this isn't that hard. Getting a divorce is hard, letting go of a loved one is hard, giving up an addiction is hard...but honoring and respecting your body by feeding it well and making it a fit machine is simply conforming to nature.' |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 02,February,2004 | I started my first 2004 challenge 4 weeks go - so it was time to take progress pictures. As I suspected there was No progress to be found. I even got a second opinion to be sure. My fianc agreed, the two pictures could have been taken the same day they were THAT identical to each other. Every view... A first I was bummed. After all, there was this part of my mind that had hoped that the scale was just being stubborn and that I was making OTHER changes all this time. But no. My fianc began to worry about me. I got a nice long hug from him and a pep talk. He basically said 'I don't want you to get discouraged and give up.' Well, I'm NOT giving up. I've decided to 'reboot' the year. Yes, I'm going to press Ctrl-Alt-Del and begin with a fresh face, clean slate. No more memory errors :) I took a good LONG look at those pictures. and I mean REALLY looked. Although I wear my clothes well and I AM into a size 12 (below average for the US female population I'm told) there is a LOT of unhealthy fat hanging onto my body, especially on my lower abdomen. My fianc even asked me 'Doesn't that bother you, weigh you down and make you feel.. bah?' I explained to him that I've weighed this much or more since I was 19 - this feels 'normal' to me. I think that's why it's so easy to 'just have a nibble' and 'skip just this one workout'. And after all, what I spend the most time looking at is my hands and wrists and they are pretty slim looking. But it's not enough anymore to have pretty hands. I want to get some of this FAT off of me! The only way I know to do that is to stick to my diet and to exercise. I went to bed last night with visions of success dancing in my head and I think that's a good thing. I decided to do as several have suggested and write my goals as if Ive already achieved them. I started composing my four-week goals as I drifted off and I will finish them before the end of the day. Food is planned and on plan Upper body for tonight no excuses!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 29,March,2004 | I seriously had NO intension of falling off the face of the earth! really, I swear! But, a little flue bug came by our house and desided to take up residence. ICK! First my fiance' then me! I spent last week in a fog of missery AND, need I say my diet went out the window!? Well it did. I ate anything and everything I could get my hands on, the worse the better. I did manage to get one workout in on Tuesday - right before my throat swelled up and I felt like I was swollowing razor blades! I say again ICK! I was all set to make a 'big turn around' today - the I went out and bought 4 bags of easter candy *sigh*. But, there is no reason why I can't continue to make progress from 'this MOMENT forward'. Clean eats for me, for the rest of the day. If I can string the next few 'next days' together, then I'll have a week, and after that a month.. etc, etc. I'm ready, really I am (yes, I know I've said this before) sometimes I think I'm sick of hearing MYSELF say it... but I refuse to stop saying it. There was a time when a week like my last week would have had me back to old habits and giving up on EVER losing weight. But I refuse to do that again! It's onward - back into the frey - to fight the good fight... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,March,2004 | Hey! I'm linked - who'ed a thunk? Thanks urlLink AMY! Wow - the pressure is on!? I figured out something today while in the store. I'm a narcisist. One of the main reasons I love BFL. Not just because I can lose weight and have more energy, but because when I'm at the store, shopping for soda, I can toat two six packs of bottles around. Not only can I do this easily much to the surprise of others in the store. but when I'm wearing a sleaveless blouse like today I would like to think that there is a certain, form and deffinition in my arms that must also be admired... Ok - OK so I'm not the center of anyone's universe (except my fiance') But I would like to imagine that people are sneeking peeks at delts and biceps while I'm toating around my food... Either way it does make me want to work that much harder so that if they arn't... they will be in the near future! I'm such a glory hound! I also wanted to give a shout out to my good friend urlLink CORY . While his website probably has 1000 times as many hits as mine in a day - I wanted to throw a little love his way. I'll probably be adding a few links to this site soon, but as I'm a bit of a procrastinater I wanted to do a few now to make sure there were in here SOMEWHERE! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 18,March,2004 | Yesterday went really really well! I can't believe what a difference a treadmill makes. Not only allowing me to run no matter the weather, but getting me to push myself harder then I would if I were running outside. It's so much easier to pace myself. Easier to set and reach goals... I have to say it was a little humbling to read a friends post and see he WALKS at the same speed I run! I blame it on my short little legs I suppose. I did the same intervals as last time - 4.0 - 5.5mph in .5 increments x 3 and then on the fourth interval pumping it up to 6.0. I then kept running at 4.0 until I made to to my goal of 1.5 miles. Second workout of my marathon training DONE! It was MUCH harder this time. I could tell my legs were tired from my run on Tuesday and then my leg workout on Wednesday. But I managed, and felt SO good after. Had an AWSOME dinner (I'm back into cooking again) Chicken dregged in non-fat plain yogurt and then rolled in breadcrumbs and baked. With aspearagus and baked potato on the side... I can tell I'm working out regularly again because MAN do I have an appitite. While the chicken was in the oven I did 20 minutes of Yoga. So all my goals were accomplished! Then, I even made my lunches for today. That's a BIG step for me. A sure sign I'm back into the groove. I need to hit the upper body hard today. Food is planned and that's cool, and I'm going to try to drink a bit more water then usual ... see if I can get some of this fat to MOBILIZE... Good Friday Ya'all |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 18,March,2004 | I thought I would include some of my goals here so - just another way to hold myself accountable. In 4 weeks I will: Weigh 170 lbs and have a body fat % of 37. In 6 weeks I will: Weigh 167 and have a body fat % of 35 In 8 weeks I will: Weigh 163/33% In 12 weeks I will: Weigh 157/29% My ultimate Goal is 130lbs and less then 20% But since I haven't been below 175 since I graduated Highschool (16 years ago) it's hard to say what my goal will ultimately be until I get closer to it. Other then the pure numbers I have other goals: 1) - Terminator Arms. Even under the fat I think I have pretty shaply arms and I can't wait to see what they look like under all that 2) - Run a Marathon. I started on Tuesday with my marathon running program. First goal (of course) is to run a 5K but eventually I plan to run in a Marathon Next August 3) - Six Pack. Yes the ever present 'six pack' goal. Even if it's only for a day I want to see it... just once 4) Be healthy and happy! One of the biggest motivators for excercise, for me, is to be able to engage in activities that most people don't consider... like biking 26 miles, sea kyacking, white water rafting... (all things I did last year) 5) 10 Pushups, 10 Pullups, 10 Headstand pushups...Yes I dream BIG.. I'm sure there are more goals in there, but that's all I can come up right now... Also, I came across the meal plan my good friend Marie gave to me last year... what a nice easy place to start! all the 'planning' is done (I love that ) I just have to measure and eat... simple! I'm going to follow this for the next week and half then go from there... I'm actually getting, dare I say.. EXCITED about the changes to come.. AGAIN! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 17,March,2004 | Well, I tracked my food yesterday and I think I'm seeing SOME of the problem. Not NEARLY enough protien. I've never been much of a meat eater so I can see how, without a plan I tend to subcontiously avoid protien. Today I'm looking for things to go a little better. Excercise was 100% and I loved it! I did my leg workout, and upped the weights. I had started out easy(ish) last week to keep from overdoing it and felt like it was ok to push things a little harder this week. It went well. Then I did about 10 minutes of pilates to really nail the abs and 'remind' my muscles to legthen and relax a little. After feeling sluggish and groggy most of the afternoon it really did a lot to 'perk' me up. I was still struggling with 'the grumpies' but a talk with my fiance' soon banished the last of that and the rest of the evening was SMOOTH sailing. I copied a CD to run to tonight and I'm looking forward to seeing how the songs work... I'm still only doing 1.5 miles but that will be picking up next week. I'm sore - but then I'm expecting to be. It actually feels good. It feels like I'm preparing my body for something important and I am. After all, what's more important than LIVING? |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 17,March,2004 | I thought I really really really wanted a 'no-plan' nutrition plan. But I'm finding that I don't really like the 'drifting' feeling I've had over the past few weeks. It must be the project manager in me, or maybe that I'm anal retentive? So, somehow I need to find a balance between - so focused that I'm spending every moment thinking, planing and or eating food and this 'fly by the seat of my pants' thing I've been doing. So - today I'm going to start logging on fitday again. That at least gives me some sort of accountability. I know for one it will keep me from eating when I'm 'less then hungry' because I know the extra work it will take to log all of that. After a week I'll sit down and evaluate this again. As far as excercise, for the first time in a long time I feel like I'm SET. I've got my weights, and my treadmill. No excuses! :) The only thing that would make my life complete would be a chin up bar, but that's not on my list of essentials. I feel like I made up the missed upper body workout yesterday with lugging around that treadmill, and I did my Interval Run - followed by a moderate. I run for 1.5 miles total wich was my goal with my marathon training. The rest of the week looks like this: Today - Lower body workout. Thursday - 1.5 miles (20 minutes of wich will be HIIT), Friday - Upper Body Workout, Saturday - 1.5 mile run, Sunday - at least 30 minutes walking or Hiking. My appointment with the career counceler went really well, though I'm still not sure how much this is going to cost me. Still, I see better things on the horizon. In every portion of my life. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,March,2004 | Last night was GREAT. I kicked butt on the treadmill doing 1 minute intervals of 4mph, 4.5mph, 5mph, and 5.5mph.. and then a final 1 minute at 6mph all at 1.5% incline. After pushing the silly treadmil around for a while, then that run I was EXAUSTED! I still found the energy to do about 20 minutes of Yoga though. I was in bed by 9:00. Feeliing really good today, both mentally and physically. My legs and back are sore, but nothing I can't live with. I have an appointment this morning with a career counceler. Depending on the cost, I might be using them to try to get some focus and direction in my life. My mood is better and the weight has dropped back below 180 and stayed there. I'm ready to start seeing some steady progress instead of this roller coaster ride I've been on!! Have a great day eveyone! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,March,2004 | The treadmill has arrived!!! and I got my workout in just shoving it around and setting it up. The bloody thing weighs over 270lbs! BUT it's all set up, I just need to run to the store and pick up a headphone splitter and I'll be SET!!!It's going to be hard not to push myself too far and too fast at first... but the newness will wear off soon 'm sure. Until then I'm going to take advantage of all this energy!.. My marathon training starts TODAY with a grand total of.... 1.5 miles! lol! when I said I was going to start slowly, I wasn't kidding. Basically I'm doing a novice training routine for a 5K... then I'll do training for an 8K then 10K then 15K and so on and so forth... ramping my miles up then dropping them back down only to ramp them up again... kind of like Interval training over a year's time :) it all culminates in a marthon in August of next year :) In the meanwhile I'm going to work on getting my weight down and also continue to workout with weights especially legs because I need to rehabilitate this foot of mine... So, I'm off to the electronics store... Oh! and I promised pictures from our hike on Saturday. They are Here: www.bafoa.com/past_adventures1.htm |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,March,2004 | Well, today is a little better then yesterday. Still got the monthly blues but they are lifting a bit. The treadmill is supposed to be here between 12:00 and 3:00!!! I tried a little 'retail therapy' at lunch yesterday. While I didn't buy anything it did prove one thing to me. While my weight isn't moving much my SIZE is... I won't buy another size 14. They are all too big! On a sour note, by the time I got home last night I had a killer stomach ache. I never have heartburn, and I HAD heartburn. The thought of doing squats with the burning ALREADY in the back of my throat just didn't sit with me... so I skipped the workout. Not a very auspicious start. Still, I've had some really postive experiances of late and I'm feeling motivated and inspired. I guess the real thing I'm trying to convey is that I feel HOPE. And that's a big step for me. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,March,2004 | Let's start with the good news. The weekend was GRAND! The relationship with my son, seems to have finally healed! Every visit things seem to get better and better, and that does my heart a world of good. Friday night on the way home he was looking out the car window and noting the stars. We talked about stars, and constilatioins and then when we go home, we drug out the telescope and did a little star gazing... it was a lot of fun. Saturday all six of us went for a hike...Really awsome walk through the woods to a waterfall. I will be uploading some pictures later tonight. Sunday, I went over and set up my Grandmother's new computer. My son helped me move stuff around and get files transfered over. She's thrilled! In Other news :) I didn't make up Thursday's Cardio, nor did I do my upper body workout on Friday. So, now I've 14 days left to make 'em green! It's hard to explain my mood right now. I'm really upset that I weighted in at 182 today and yet I'm more determined then ever to string together some green days. I keep visualizing how COOL this summer can be - walking around feeling strong and confident in my body and that motivates me more then anything. I have a formal dinner/dance in April that I want to be as sleek as possible for as well. All motivating factors... I just need to continue to put all that motivation into action. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 10,March,2004 | I wish I had an explination for this total change of attitude I've had. For some reason missing tonight's workout just wasn't an option, even though I had a TON of other things to do including (ahhhhhh!!!) LAUNDRY!! When I finally got home from the 'Fluff and Fold' and finished putting all my clothes away, it was 10:00. And yet, as I said no where did I think 'maybe I should just do it tomorrow' or 'I'll make it up over the weekend'. Nope not at all. The closest I came to an arguement with myself was desiding weather I was going to do the full pyramid workout or supersets. I did the full pyramid workout. It felt great! Ok, so it hurt like HECK but mentally it felt GREAT! Food today was clean and I really do feel like I'm doing the right thing for ME right now. It's such a tremendous feeling! I certainly don't want it to end. So I'll keep on keeping on. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 09,March,2004 | I desided to blog from home as I've been so busy at work that I can't seem to string together cohearant thoughts. A few things that meant to mention in past blogs but haven't. I'm getting more and more pleasure out of my clothes of late. Spring has sprung and that means summer clothes. So, Saturday I pulled out a pair of shorts and put them on. To say I was pleased was probably an understatment, but I was very pleased. The shorts not only fit, but were a little loose. I was doubly pleased because I have another pair of shorts exactly like them, but (I thought) a size smaller in my drawer that would now fit as well. You can only imagine my surprise AND delight when I took out my second pair of shorts on Sunday and found out that these were the LARGER of the two pairs! The hung off me like a gunny sack! The shorts that I had worn on Saturday were the pair that last summer had been too tight! Last night, while in costco I desided to pick up a pair of slacks as a reward for reaching 175. I chose my size carefully (I hate that you can't try on clothes there) and brought them home. I have to admite that I had some pretty negative thoughts alone in my bedroom before putting them. I held them up and looked and thought to myself 'there is no way that these will fit!' I had visions of how awful they were going to look and was totally prepared to be disapointed. Instead, they went on, buttoned up and ... looked GREAT. Probably the only dissapointing thing was that they are capris and my legs are just TOO short for capris to look completely 'right'on me. Still, I'm so pleased that they fit other places to be at all dissapointed in the length. Ok, so back to today. I got home from work late and wasn't really sure what I was going to do for cardio. It was too late to run outside and my treadmill isn't here yet. I remembered seeing a cadio program in M&F Hers November Issue. In truth it's a combo full body weight program and cardio program, but I simply did the routine with 2 lb dumbells and made it 100% cardio. Here is what it looks like: Squat to Overhead Press x 10 Front Heel Taps x 30 seconds Bent-Over Row to Tricep Kickback x 10 Butt Kicks x 30 sec Squat to Uppercut x 10 Rocking Horse x 30 sec Front Lunge to Biceps Curl x 10 Side-to-side Suffle x 30 sec Ball Flye to Abdominal curl x 10 Squat Trust x 30 sec Side Squat to Side Lateral Raise x 10 Jog in place x 30 sec Diagonal Rotation x 10 Split Jacks x 30 sec Stability Ball Cest Press to Overhead Triceps Extension x 10 Front Heal Taps x 30 sec Stability ball Leg Curl to Hip Bridge x 10 Jumping Jacks x 30 sec Romanian Deadlift to Row x 10 Fast Feet x 30 sec By the end I was huffing, puffing and sweating. But I have to say it was a LOT of fun! it's certainly a valid alternative for me. Food today has been great - my new nutrition plan is really simple... 1 protien, 1 carb, 1 fat and as many vegatables as I can stand about 6 times per day. I'm also trying to eat as close to nature as possible. The real difference is that I'm not being terribly structured... I eat when I'm hungry and stop before I'm too full. Many times doing things like fixing a sandwich eating 1/2 of it, and then in a few hours eating the rest. This is saving me a BUNCH of planning and preperation time. So far, so good! alright, I think that's enough from ME for one day... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,March,2004 | I did something ELSE that really has me excited AND has helped me to change my focus from short term to long term. I put together a training program from a running web site and the culmiation of it is a Marathon NEXT YEAR. :) I know in order to build up strength and prevent me from reinjuring my foot I'll need to go slow.. SO I'm planning to do this NEXT YEAR!! I think that's one thing that has changed recently in my mind set. I'm thinking long term. I see my goals and I want them, but I'm feeling a LOT more patient. Maybe it helps that I finally hit my 16 year goal of 175. MAN! That just sunk in THIS INSTANT - 175 has been my goal for 16 YEARS!!! 10 pounds from now I will be the wieght I was when I graduated high school!! I really don't know how or why my mind has changed. Slow and steady seems to be a good thing right now and I'm ready and willing to accept that.. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,March,2004 | Yesterday was very very good. When I got off work I went by costco and then safeway and got some 'good eats' for the rest of the week. It's funny, but I'm really excited about the next 21 days! I haven't felt like this all year. I really feel postive about the choices I'm making and the results I'm sure to see. For once it doesn't feel like I'm waiting for the ax to fall. So anyway! While at costco I got sucked into the book department. I found a really COOL book - 'Home Workout Bible' The number and variety of excercises they had in there all geared toward working from home really got me excited about my workouts. My treadmill should be here ANY day - that's also VERY exciting... And I've been sticking to my plan, and feeling really good mentally and physically in regard to food. My upper body workout last night was just right... not too easy, not too hard. Hit my 10's! I felt SO GOOD afterwords.. mentally AND physically. I'm on top of the world right now, and intend to stay here! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 08,March,2004 | Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day! I've got a beautiful feeling, everything's going my way... Yes folks it was THAT sort of weekend. Even with me being sick! Friday: Went home early - I was really starting to feel BAD. Got home, went to bed and slept 'til morning. (except for getting up to pop some Vitamine C and Echinatia and Vitamine E). The best part was, even though my body was SCREEMING for comfort food I didn't give in, ate on plan! Saturday: Woke up feeling week and groggy. A shower, breakfast and a little sunshine later and I was doing pretty good. My fiance was working on his Jeep so I did the 'run to Kragen and see if they have....' thing. By noon I was pretty much feeling about 80%. I got some little 'chores' out of the way and got to do some shopping (used book stores! my favorite), as well as some driving through some of the most amazingly beautiful countryside. Reminded me why I live in California... Northern California to be exact. At first I had suggested we go out to eat, but then I realized that I had deemed Sunday a Free day, so I desided to 'save' it for then. Instead we swung past the store and picked up some fresh pork chops and asparagus. YUM! Sunday: Woke up feeling MUCH better... My free day was VERY much in control. I indulged in a few things I had been craving (chocolate and pizza) but all in moderation. My fiance and I spent the day 'sharing' our food and that kept my portions small. I didn't binge either. In all I declare it a Sucess! PLUS, we went for a 'walk' on Sunday. We left the house at 11:00am, drove (again) through BEAUTIFUL countryside, down to Mill Valley. From there we walked to Sausalito a little town on the coast just north of San Francisco. the walk there and back was (we think) about 14 miles! and we finally headed home about 4:45. Today: I started my new program. The day is BEAUTIFUL sunny, warm, and I'm sunburned. I'm not too sore from our walk, just twinges in places. Spring in here and I'm in a GREAT mood. I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks and my new plan/program. I'll keep you filled in as things go! Oh - weight on Saturday (before free day) - 175!!! I made it! and I plan to be back down there again NO problem! 177 today. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,March,2004 | Ok - let me see, so much to say. Yesterday was clean, again. My weight is staying steady below 180 and I'm VERY happy with that! It's getting to be time to deside the next step. I think the last two weeks were verry successful. I got my will power back, relearned how to tell myself 'NO', and got and have STAYED below 180. So my options as I see it are: 1) Keep doing what I'm doing now. A VERY unstructured low carb regiem 2) Follow the first faze of the South Beach Diet 3) Go back to fist/palm BFL style of eating. In truth I'm leaning heavily toward BFL again. And the reason why is, my own words! I went back yesterday and read though my jornal from the beginning. In noting how I felt and what my results where BFL in it's purest form as I did it in the begining worked REALLY well. Of course, at the time, I was also following my excercise program fairly regularly as well. I just know I really want to find that fire again. The arrival of Spring should help. It's BEAUTIFUL here. More outdoor time, more unstructured 'excercise' (hiking, biking etc) should all help my progress as well as my mood. Anyway - as I said, I'm leaning toward BFL and I think I'm going to make it REALLY simple. My plan is to print up a list of 'authorised foods'. Then, pick one thing from each column. Simple! I'm also going to stock up at work, cans of chicken keep really well, as well as Salads and/or potatoes. If I'm not having to constantly pack my lunch I think I'll feel a LOT less overwhelmed. Starting next week, my workouts will return as a priority. With my food 'simplified' that leaves me that much more time for my workout. As I looked through my journal there were days when I was tired, days when I was down, but those days that I pushed through and worked out anyway just seem to GLOW with energy... I want that glow back! NO MORE EXCUSES! As I said I should be getting a lot more 'unplanned' workouts with the coming of spring/summer. Plus with my treadmill arriving in about a week and a half, running should be a no-brainer. I have all the equipment I need for good weight workouts so the only thing holding me back would be ME! I'm going to do everything I can to kick THAT obstical out of the way. I want results, I want that energy, I want those positive self thoughts back. I want to feel as if success is just a workout away. I CAN do this, and I WILL |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,March,2004 | I just finished lunch. I started to have a sandwich, thinking to myself 'just this one won't hurt', but then I realized that I had promised myself that I would stick with this for the entire two weeks. And that 'just one' has a way of becoming just three or four or more. So I didn't. I had an on plan lunch and truethfully I'm feeling pretty good about it. Yes 'just one' may not 'hurt' physically. But mentally it can make a MAJOR difference in how I think and feel about myself. And THAT is enough to derail me BIG time. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 02,March,2004 | Well - my treadmill should ship Friday and arrive in a week. BLEH! I hate waiting! BUT it will finally BE here, I can hardly believe it. Yesterday was clean again. No major struggles. I can say I'll be glad when I can add a LITTLE bit of bread back into my diet. I did spend some time thinking today about food the scale and my apparent obsession with both :P. Several people have mentioned to me that this should be about HEALTH not WEIGHT. And I was pondering that on my way into work. Truth be told, I was doing pretty good, health wise when I was eating, normal, everyday foods in limited quanties. (Yes folks that HORRIBLE 'monderation' word.) I really don't think I was any worse or better off. The real reason that I eat the way I do (or attempt to) is for my weight. And not my weight as it relaits to my health, but PURELY for vanity. To quote an article I read - To Look Good Naked! And where did all this pondering get me? At the moment - no where :) But I'll continue to update here as things move along. Otherwise, I'm feeling pretty cranky today. No aparent reason. Well, actually, it's work. My job takes these turns where it's really exciting and intense for a couple weeks and then it settles down into mind numbing bordum. Durning the 'bordum' stages I tend to get to feeling pretty unfullfilled. Ok, OK I understand that everything in life goes through cycles but these tend to last for several months. I feel like my training is being waisted... heck _I_ am being waisted. and I HATE busy work! Ah well, what's important is I'm not trying to fill in the empty spots with food. That never does anyone any good. Not much else to report on. Maybe I'll think of something later. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 02,March,2004 | It's done! I clicked the last click and my treadmill is ON IT'S WAY! considering this is my CHRISTMAS present I have to say it is highly antisipated! I have no idea when it will actually GET here - now all I can to is wait. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,March,2004 | I'm feeling better today. Last night I desided that, though I've been avoiding bars so that I didn't hamper my progress, it was better to have a bar then to end up having a dozen doughnuts. So I grabbed one and felt MUCH better afterwords. I also made sure I had a GOOD dinner - cream sauce and chicken over cauliflour. And I had 'desert' too. riccotta cheese mixed with peanut butter. Ok, so I admit that was a little wierd, but it was pretty good. Still it was 'odd' enough that I doubt I'll have it again. Today I'm feeling 100% again. Strong and in control and not hanging on by a fingernail. I didn't get a workout in last night, but I'm not stressing over it. Eventually, I'll start firing on all cylinders again. The BEST news is that I'm ordering my treadmill tonight!! Some personal things are looking up as well and I have to say the whole world is looking a little brighter. Ok, so it's not raining either and that helps. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,March,2004 | I'm fighting. Not cravings per se but, temptations. Everywhere I turn it seems there is something I would like to be eating, but 'can't'. I've managed to say no for a week now but really wonder how long I'll be able to hold out. In a way it's depressing. If I could just lock myself in my house and only look at 'autherized' foods I would be just fine. I really don't crave food anymore. But the minute I see something the urge to EAT comes over me. Before, I could put off those feelings and relieve them with a 'free day'. But, now... now I'm faced with forgoing those foods for a much longer stretch of time. I really wonder what has to change inside of me before I don't fear a trip to the store. In fact, I'm reminded of a question I asked a long time ago. Does it ever get easier? I expect it does and I sure hope it does, because I'm not sure I can keep this kind of intensity up indefinatly. I suppose that sounds fatalistic, but it's also completely honest. And it's only been a WEEK! Ha! I've also discovered that lingering in the back of my mind is fear. Fear of letting myself free of this uber strick regiem I've put myself on and having another major back slide. How to begin to put balance back into my life without letting 'just one' become 'just twenty'. Every time I think of easing back a little there I face that fear. But I know I'll have to eventually. I can't deny myself treats forever. Then the question becomes - when? I promised myself I would do this until I reached 175. A kick in the butt. A jump start into the next phase of weightloss - getting down to the 'before children' weights. But, then what? I can assure you that if/when I figure it all out I'll share it with you all... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,March,2004 | Well - it happened. For the first time this year I had a CLEAN weekend! It wasn't easy. In fact I don't think there was a challenge I didn't have to face down! Friday we went to Olive Garden - and in case it wasn't apparent before, I'll state here and now that I'm a Bread and Pasta FREEK! I did all I could to distract myself from the bread when it was dropped on the table and made sure to order a grilled dish for my dinner. Grilled chicken, some itallian sausage and steamed veggies. At cake time I wasn't thinking and I stood over the cake as I opened the box. The smell of chocolate waifed up and I swear I turned into Pavlov's dog! But, I ignored it, sang happy birthday, cut the cake and went to sit at the opposite side of the table. I didn't even lick the cocolate icing off my fingers! Saturday, the challenge was pizza, cheese bread and cinnamon bread from Dominos... The smell of the pizza when it first arrived nearly killed me! But I ate MY food and distracted myself with visions of size 10 pants... Sunday we took the kids out to brunch and everyone's plate distracted me... pancakes on one side, toasted buns on the other side... But once again I stuck to my own food. And THEN my daughter picks up my ABSOLUTE favorite cocolate from the store... I didn't have a single piece. And the results of all of this? Beside the fact that I'm really really proud of myself I'm also down to 177.5! I'm close - so close and I don't want to do ANYTHING to cause a set back now. I will prove to myself that I CAN meet goals... I also got some nice excercise this weekend. Saturday I walked just over a mile, and Sunday we went on about a 3 mile hike. Nothing too rugged but enough to stretch the legs and get the lungs and heart working. In fact we walk partially on a PAR course and I stopped a few times to do the excercises on it - pushups and leg lifts and corkscrews - it felt good to be using my muscles again. Now that I've have a clean nutritional week I'm going to try for both - tonight I'm going to do a light upper body workout. I want to take advantage of the momentem I've created and make sure it continues. I'm feeling good today. REALLY good and I expect for it to continue! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 27,April,2004 | Yesterday was again 'perfect' Food was on, and I did my weight workout with no issues. I even upped the weight on everything which was pretty cool! I hope to continue to do so periodically as I want to be getting stronger as well as gaining endurance as the months go by. I've never believed in being a 'helpless female' Will try to update more later. I have a 3 mile run scheduled for tonight! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 25,April,2004 | I can't believe it! I just signed up for my first 5K! It's in two weeks in San Francisco. It's on mother's day and it's a race that's geared toward women (though men are allowed to run as well). I'm not really expecting to run the etire way, as a matter of fact I've been training to take walk breaks every 9 minutes. But I expect it to be a LOT of fun. After that - those NO stopping me! an 8k then a 10k and so on, and so forth! I'm getting SO exctied! This week was clean for the ENTIRE week! I think that's the first time that's happend all year! I want to see many more after this. I'm ready, ready to take this bull by the horns and see some results. Actually not only results but I'm ready to see myself reach my goal... the goal is set for November folks! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 23,April,2004 | Yesterday went great. I stayed on plan and got my sweetie back. Today was even better! Got my run in and have had a clean day food wise. I'm really feeling strong, and even passed up mac and cheese at dinner tonight. and brownies as the office this afternoon. Feeling good and looking forward to the weekend. Sunday's a free day but I think I'll keep it pretty low key as I haven't been having any major cravings. So there's nothing really feel I need to splurge on. I've been taking in more calories, but still struggled a little with my run. This was more the normal... man this is hard, I'm breathless kind and of struggling instead of the man my legs feel like LEAD feeling. I still found myself counting down the minutes to my next walk break. Still willing to push myself - I wanna see extraordinary results and those arn't going to happen by ordinary means! tomorrow I lift again hopefully in the morning so I can run in the evening. Off to enjoy my luv bug... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 22,April,2004 | Alright, so I made a mistake, I walked into a clothing store again. *sigh* I just get SO frustrated with sizing. You see, I tried on some kakis last night that are a size 12. They button, but won't zip all the way. So I figured I was just a little bit closer to a size 12 now then I was to a size 14 when I started my first challenge. BUT, today in the store I picked up four size 12's thanking to have a few 'goal pants' - One (darn hip huggers) I couldn't even button, Two, fit perfectly, and another I went back out and got a size 10 (which fit perfectly). So, maybe size 12 not an agressive enough goal? Well - I'll leave the goal as it is and specifially say that I will fit into MY size 12's that I have sitting at home right now. And the frustration with my unbalanced body continues (been an issue since Jr High) ... Obviously I'm nearly a 12 on bottom, but I'm still in extra large shirts :( and size 16 dresses... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 21,April,2004 | Another clean day! I did my weight workoutpretty much as planned. I didn't get home until 8:00 pm and was feeling a little frazzled because I wanted to be somewhere at 9:00, BUT I didn't let that stop me! I went ahead and did my weight workout, I just eliminated the rest periods, wich actually made for an interesting workout that got my heartrate up for a bit. I think I'm going to end up a little sore tomorrow wich is cool, but I'm pretty sure that I need to up the weights on everything except the biceps (For some reason they are always lagging behind the rest of my body parts) Well - I just got done inputting the past couple day's food. I was right! I'm WAY under eating - again. Today I only got up to 1200 calories, and while yesterday was around 1500, most of those where late in the day, and it's still no where near the 2000 my calculations say I should be eating right now. Time to take some SERIOUS action! I need all my energy to continue running the way I am. Plan for tomorrow is a little shaky right now. I know I need to run, but I'm picking up my sweetheart from the airport at 7:00pm. I'll be leaving to get him right after work. My guess is that once I get home there is NO WAY I'll want to leave his side long enough to jump on the treadmill. SO... I either get up early (yeah, that's going to happen - NOT), run at lunch, or push my workout to Friday. Running at lunch isn't much of a choice either because I sweat SO MUCH when I run. If worse comes to worse I'll double up tomorrow, but I really don't want to have to do that, it makes me feel like I'm cheeting somehow. I guess I need to try to get SOME sleep - now - it's only 3:00am! :P |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 21,April,2004 | Not really all that much to report. Instead of analyzing things I've been gettin them done! Food's been clean for two days and on track to be clean again today. I had a great weight workout on Monday and ran 2.75 miles on Tuesday. In truth it hasn't been all that hard to stay on track. My sweety is out of town and since we only have one card to access our account with, I sent it with him. Therefore I've had no cash on hand for snacks and slurges. That means I'm eating what's at home, and the 'worse' thing I've got there is probably the jar of organic natural peanut butter. So, food's been clean. Also, since my honey's not home - I'm doing all I can to keep myself occupied. This means that it's really easy for me to do my workout as soon as I get home. If I can just keep these patterns up when he gets back, things will be awsome! Tonight it's weights again - and tomorrow a 2 mile run. I'm only a few weeks out from my 5K! I can hardly believe that I've managed to stick with the training like this. It's a big boost to my self esteem. Best news of all is a few day's good eating and I've dropped some water weight. Clothes are fitting more like I expect again, and the scale is saying 181.5 - That's more like it!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,April,2004 | So - I still want it THIS Year. Last week started out grand. I worked out on Monday - ran on Tuesday. Then my kids came over and I took three days off work and POOF! Granted I deliberatly took some time off because my knee was hurting, but I'm still not happy with the way things are going. So, so things WILL change! I will no longer accept excuses from myself for not working out. I will spend more energy figuring out how to make my workouts happen instead of figuring out how to get out of them! I will plan my meals. I will pick a plan, stick with it - follow it as written and give it a chance to work. I'm going to do BFL for a few weeks. In the mean while I'm going to send a request to the staff at Beverly International for them to create a meal plan for me. They are out of the office until May so it may be a while before they get back to me. I have recruted a friend to help me. She's been given the task of following up with me and not accepting my excuses for missed workout or poor meals. And I've accepted the task of doing the same for her. I will take no prisoners. I will reach my goals THIS YEAR!! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 13,April,2004 | THIS YEAR - Those words have been ringing in my ears all day. You see, if I can average 1.75 pounds per week I will reach my goals THIS YEAR.... I'm desperatly trying to wrap my brain around that thought... to believe it in that little dark place in my heart where all words, of all the doubters in my life tend to gather. Including my own. But, 'This Year,' is resounding pretty loudly - I just need to keep it that way. I started work on my project plan. Adding all my workouts as tasks until November 6th. (That's my goal date). If I miss a workout - it throws off my baseline and pushes out my goal date. Amazing how seeing the DIRECT cause and effect can change your perspective... This Year Yes, I'm still trying to figure out the nutrition plan. What I wish - is that someone would just hand me a list of foods and say 'Eat this today' and then the same the next day and the same the next. Yeah, yeah - it's Jenny Craige dieting I know, but I really don't want to THINK about food any more then nessisary. But, I'm sure there's a happy medium. I'll have to work through my food issues and at the same time make planning my nutrition a priority without it being an obsession. uhm.. yeah. Still - THIS YEAR! muhahahahah |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,April,2004 | Last Night was crazy! I got home and immediatly went to the store. I did a LOT of shopping and ended up spending about 2 hours in the store. By the time I unpacked grocheries and then fixed and ate dinner it was about 9:30pm and I was tired! Several excuses for not working out drifted through my head, but, in truth, that visual of a gant chart with my schedule already behind because I've missed one of my tasks got me off the couch. This is a project, and on a project EVERY task is critical for a sucessful completion of that project. So, I did the workout. It actually was really good, though I could raise the weights on both leg excercises. The stretching felt GREAT and I'm thinking I might even lengthen the time for that as I LOVE to stretch and it might be nice to challenge myself in that area a little more. After my workout, I colored my hair, so that took up the remainder of my evening. I still plan on going through ALL the project planning steps and getting a complete set of documents in hand. Not only because I think it sets things even further in concrete, but because it's fun. So, today's plan is this. 2.5 miles of running and some yoga/stretching. I actually forgot my lunch at HOME today (duh) so I'll have to drop by the store to pick up something but I WILL keep in clean. I will! Maybe this really IS the 'last time'. Funny thing. Last night as we were laying in bed my fiance' asked me. 'So, how's the diet going?'. I kind of laid there puzzled and then said 'fiiiiine..?' He said, 'Well, I just wondered. I wanted to make sure you haven't given up!'. I had to laugh at that. Me!? Give UP!? now THAT'S not happening! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 12,April,2004 | It's time. It's time to set some goals, make some plans, get off my @$$ and get MOVING. I'm tired of being stuck where I am! I'm tired of saying 'someday'... I'm tired this haphazard approach to my life, my health... I am going to DO something! I know, I know, you've all heard this from me before. And yes, I may have to give myself this mental @$$ kicking AGAIN... But for now, I'm going to pretend that this is the last time I'll be saying 'This is the last time!' The good news is that I haven't fallen off of my running program since I got my treadmill (except when I was sick, and I missed two workouts then). I have a weight program in place (I'll post in further down) and I have an idea of what I would like my nutrition to look like. The next step is to create a real 'plan'. and I don't just mean 'Monday I will eat...' I mean a PLAN. I'm actually going to put some of this project managment stuff that I spent over a year studying and put it to good use! Yes, yes, looseing weight isn't like building a house or writing code, but there ARE some things that I put to use, and I intend to. I'll be sure to share it with everyone when I get it all together. It should be fun and interesting. I've desided to try a new wieght training program. Because I'm running alot (and more every week) I desided it was better if I did a weight training program that was more geared toward the kind of stress I'll be putting on my body as I train for a marathon (did I say I was training for a marthon before? Well if not before I did now!). So here's the new plan: Workout 3 days per week. Rotating between two variations. For balance Ive decided on an alternating Push/Pull workout, and again for balance Ive decided that my variation will be to switch the order of the Push/Pull. Variation 1: Quads: Plie Squat 25lbs x 15 (Runners should do what they can to strengthen the vastus medialis www.exrx.net/Muscles/Quadriceps to help in knee tracking and this seems to me to be one of the best squats for targeting that area) 30 seconds Standing Quad stretch Hamstrings: Straight-let Deadlift 35lbs x 15 30 seconds Seated Single Leg Hamstring Stretch Chest: Dumbbell Bench Press 20lbs x 15 30 seconds Doorway Chest Stretch Side Delt: Upright Row ???5lbs x 15 (Maybe, I have shoulder issues that may make this one a no-go) 30 seconds Side Deltoid Stretch Front Calves Heavy Band x 15 (Im doing these because they are recommended to rehabilitate my planter fascia) 30 seconds Kneeling Shin Stretch Back: Bent Row 20lbs x 15 30 seconds Fixed Bar Back Stretch Tri Bench Dip x 15 30 seconds Overhead Triceps Stretch Biceps Dumbbell Curl 10 x 15 30 seconds Standing Biceps Stretch Abs and Lower Back Pilates: The Hundred 10 sets of 10 The Roll Up 5 Reps Single Leg Circles 5 Circles each direction each leg Rolling Like a Ball 8 Reps Single Leg Stretch 8 Sets Double Leg Stretch 8 Sets Single Straight Leg Stretch 8 Sets Double Straight Leg Stretch 8 Sets Criss-Cross 8 Sets Spine Stretch Forward 5 Sets Variation 2: Same weight, exercise and stretch Hamstrings Quads Back Chest Side Deltoid Biceps Triceps Abs Calves Week 1: Mon Var 1, Wed Var 2, Fri Var 1 Week 2: Mon Var 2, Wed Var 1, Fri Var 2 I'm doing my first workout tonight and I'm expecting that it will be a REAL kicker... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 25,May,2004 | So, I've not been here much. There's a reason. I SUCK. Motivation nill - Excercise Mild - and Food can you say BLECK!? This has GOT to stop! Every time I look in the mirror I see all the work I need to do and it makes me ill. So what do I do? I stop looking in the mirror... But then I went to a party on Saturday, and there was pictures, and there is only so much you can hid from the camera *sigh*. So I suck... The good news is that I still have a lot of stamina. I'm in pretty good 'shape'. I'm strong, I have endurance, but I'm fat. The only way to 'fix' this is to do something about all this eating. It's not just just eating, it's the tons of chocolate and cake and the like. Not to make excuses, but I HAVE been really depressed of late. Sticking to any plan of self improvement while questioning your own self worth is difficult. But I'm better now. It's time not only to put away the chocolate, but to figure out how to deal with the blues WITHOUT the chocolate. But, one step at a time... Time to get on plan - a GOOD solid burn the FAT plan. I'm tired. I'm tired of belly roles, thigh cellulite, back cleavage, and rolls along the waistband of my control top panty hose. Damn it! I know you probably don't want to be reading this. You're probablly nodding your head and saying 'yeah, we've heard this before, how is this time different' In truth I don't know that this time is differnt. As a matter of fact, I'm scared to DEATH that this time WON'T be different and I'll be writing this post all over again in a month, but does that mean I roll over and dive into a vat of chocolate? No - it means that I write this post all over again in a month if I have to and keep trying. Keep plugging away, and if you get sick of reading it - then I guess you have to go read somewhere else. But I'm not writing for you - I'm writing for me and that's the way it has to be.... sorry. No - I'm not sorry! I'm angry! I used anger to get myself out of slump emotionally urlLink recently - so why not for this. I'm doing it! I'm getting pissed. ENOUGH is ENOUGH!! For the rest of the day today I will eat good, healthy clean food. The plan.. Salad and Tri-Tip for dinner Riccotta cheese for desert I'll run tonight when I get home... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 18,May,2004 | Yay! My posts will now allow comments! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 18,May,2004 | I took most of last week off. I just couldn't find the desire or energy to run. My nutrition sucked - well not really I barely ate. Just couldn't find the desire or energy. (seeing a pattern here?) BUT - the good news is after taking most of last week off, I couldn't WAIT to run yesterday, then ended up holding off because it was a 'rest'day. So by the time today came around I was really REALLY ready. And the three miles just FLEW by. I felt fantastic the entire time! No dead legs, no cramps. My foot felt strong. Everything felt PERFECT. Best of all I ran the three miles in 37 minutes on the nose! that's a pace of 12:20 - I'm getting faster! tomorrow's my cross training bike ride and I'm really looking forward to that too. Nutrition is going according to my new plan. Maybe that along with the rest is making a difference. We'll have to see |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 10,May,2004 | Good news first - The race: We got a much later start out of the house then I wanted. Getting four kids going at 7:00am is a major chore. By the time I arrived (had to drop me off so that they could find parking) the men's race had already started. I checked in, got my number and started milling about. Jogging to warm up, stretching and waiting. Then, the shouting started 'Clear the Track!' and the first finishers were coming in. I glanced at the clock and nearly fainted. The first man can in UNDER 17 minutes for 3.1 miles! The rest came in pretty steadily after that with people cheering each other on. It was really heartening to watch. The ladies lined up after that. I have to admit that I was a little intimidated. After all, this is San Francisco where everyone and their dog runs - literally! There were a TON of long lithe looking women there. But, I filtered to the back of the line and didn't allow myself to think about walking away. After all, how could I? I had paid my $20. The started everyone with a countdown 10..9.. 8... Since I knew I wasn't in the money or even concerned with placing I didn't get tensed up. I figured I would start when the people in front of my started to clear out. So, I started, jogging along in the back of the pack out to enjoy the day. And it WAS a beautiful day! We don't get many lilke this in SF. The park was the perfect temp. Not too hot, not too cold and the sun was shining (another rarity) There was no wind and everything was dewy and green. The whole first half of the race was uphill and the first mile was really difficult. I managed to keep to MY pace and not kill myself by running too fast (a real fear of mine). The second mile got easier will a few downhills. There was one 'bigger' climb but i just put my head down and bull dogged through it - it really didn't bother my pace at all. What was strange to me was how friendly everyone was! Here I was chugging along and everyone I passed (even those not involved in the race) was at least smiling and nodding, and most were offering a 'Keep going! you're doing great!' (though I was under NO delusions). At mile three I was in a groove. I had found a pace that was extremely comfortable for me, though my calves, ankles and hips were starting to feel the effects of running on asphalt. (No twinges from the feet though and that was a GOOD thing). With half a mile to go I heard a little guy on the sidelines tell his mom 'She should start going faster now huh mom?' and I wanted to tell him 'Sorry sweetie this is as fast as she gets,' but I didn't. If there was one thing that I'm disappointed about regarding this entire race it's that I let myself be afraid. The closer I got to the finish the more afraid I got that I would leg it out too soon and have nothing left to cross the finish line. I wanted to finish with flair. I wanted to finish with a smile not with a wheeze and a gasp. I let pride hold me back, and I hope I don't do that again. I didn't speed up until I could actually SEE the numbers on the clock. I finished with a smile on my face - that's for sure! but I still had a LOT of gas left. I ran without a watch or any other gauge but my body and I liked it that way. Surprisingly I made it in less then the 39 minutes I predicted (I told you I was slow!) and finished in 38:01! That was exciting! I really can't wait to do this again! As a testament to the caliber of women that were running the race on Sunday. I finished 7th from LAST! I couldn't even see the next person in front of me!! It's been 8 weeks since I started running and I can now jog for 3.1 miles and still feel fantastic! I think that was one of the most important parts of the day.. I went 3 miles and didn't fall over.. didn't once durning the run think 'OMG can I PLEASE STOP!?' I actually held up my head and enjoyed every moment!! Most important of all, I finished with a smile. A HUGE smile! Even the guys at the gate said something about it... I'm not sure if I can properly express what this meant to me. I finished! And even more amazing.. I started! I followed through on something that for long has only been a pipe dream, and I did it by working toward the goal EVERY day! When I had a bad day I got back on the program and kept on working. I didn't start over, I picked up where I left off and kept going. I just need to apply that same focus to my other goals, and then I'll be finishing a LOT more races! The bad news: My weight. I don't know WHAT I've done but I feel terrible. I'm swollen beyond belief and my weight this morning was 189! EEEEK! As if the pictures taken yesterday wern't enough to scare me strait, seeing the scale almost back to 190 certainly did! I've gotten back to a sensible eating plan. Packed my lunch today and I'm sticking to it. Of course PMS has something to do with this feeling and the extra weight but still, I can't let this get out of hand. It's back to full workouts and clean eats! The Plan: Here's the plan for the NEXT 8 weeks. Weight training/stretching Monday and Friday and Sunday Running Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday Biking on Wednesday Hiking or Walking on Sunday |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 30,June,2004 | 189 this morning. The weekend water weight is officially gone! Today is probably going to be a rough day. I can hear the candybars calling my name. This IS day three after all - the point where addictions get worse right before they get better. I keep doing, as was suggested by a friend, and 'playing the tape through'. Instead of focusing on the short term enjoyment that may come from something sweet and crunchy (I'm currently jonesing for a Smores Candybar) I'm thinking PAST that pleasure to the shame and dissapointment I'll feel having blown my plans. I've made a commitment to ME and by god I'll keep it! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 29,June,2004 | I've you've ever struggles with body image issues (and who hasn't) GO... READ... THIS... NOW! urlLink Q & A |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 29,June,2004 | I ran! I ran I ran I ran. Finally I've had a day where everything goes right. I ate clean I ran and I feel terrific! I've got to remember this, keep this feeling at the forefront of my mind. run with it, figuratively and literally. Yay me! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 28,June,2004 | Still taking one day at a time here. Checking in regarding yesterday and my goals. Bad News: Didn't read my book on mastery Good News: I brought it with me to work and started on it at lunch Bad News: Didn't take pictures Good News: I'm starting a challenge on Monday with a bunch of other ladies and thus am FORCED to take pictures for that Bad News: Didn't lift weights Good News: Spent the time shopping instead and filled my cupboards up with good foods. Other Good news: I stayed on plan the entire day. I'm now feeling 'DeToxed' and am on a BFL style program today. I packed my lunch. Brought REALLY good food to work and I've managed to NOT eat any of the cake that's sitting across the room. So, as I said, I start an offical challenge (offered by urlLink Divaquest ) on Monday. I had to fight a temptation to just throw this week into the trash and say 'I'm starting Monday' BUT if I can get a running start into this challenge it will be that much easier and better. So, I'm sticking to a plan this week. No 'Do-overs'! I'm going to run tonight - 3 miles on the table. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 28,June,2004 | One day at a time folks. That's where were at here in geekland. One day at a time. So far today I've been really good. I'm in detox. Going 'induction phase' ah la 'atkins' so that I can stablize my blood sugar and hopefully bash these cravings out of the way. So far, it's been a sucess. Weight was back up to 192 this morning, so I'm back to square one, but it's not like I was being 'good' enough to expect progress. There are a few things I want to do tonight. 1) reread my book on mastery. I need to wrap my head around some of the concepts in that book again. 2) take pictures. I've been avoiding looking, and I mean LOOKING at the damage I've been doing. Hopefully this will do much to motivate me in the days to come. 3) Do weight training. I haven't picked up a weight in months. I need it, for my mental as well as physical health. I need to take my health back. I need to focus. I need to stop thinking that I can just do it 'tomorrow'. Change can and will happen today. I was the poster child for progress last year. I've been the poster child for mediocracy since then. Enough is Enough. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 24,June,2004 | One victory already today. I stood in the lunchroom, money in hand, poised above the vending machine and I WALKED away! I thought, WHY blow it already when just last night I was talking about what a schmuck I was and not sticking to my plan! YAY me! First step taken, first hurdle overcome. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 23,June,2004 | I keep finding myself at this place. Disgusted with myself for not keeping my promices to myself and to others. Determined to change, to make it different 'this time'. So, here I am again. The good news, I'm actually down from my last weigh in. 190 this morning. I've been eating crap, but less of it, if that makes sense. And I've not been a complete slug going on hikes, walks and the like, though not following through on my workouts. Currently, I want to take it one day at a time and see how it goes. Tomorrows goals: Eat clean (6 meals, 1 carb, 1 prot) Drink more (2ltr total) water (this may be why I feel so hungry all the time) Run 2.0 miles Do at least 1 thing that's a step toward any long term goal of mine. Do at least 1 thing that's a step toward crossing something off my 'to-do'list. Come back tomorrow night and report my progress and set goals for tomorrow. One day at a time folks, that's where I'm at right now. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 15,June,2004 | I had a GREAT nutrition day yesterday. Almost exactly 30/30/30 ... I was a little low in calories, but I wasn't feeling horribly hungry so I think I did alright. Didn't lift weights but I'm not going to beat myself up over that - every step forward is a good one. Weight today 189 (whoohoo) and body fat was at 39%. The plan tonight - Running 3 miles. Thanks for the support! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 14,June,2004 | So, I stood there this morning, looked at myself in the mirror and said 'This is it! We're going to try this again!'. Then I listened... I mean really LISTED to what I was saying and I realized that I can't talk like that. It's not ok to say 'Try again' I need to say 'I'm going to DO this again'. I've done it, I've seen success, all that it takes now is to do it again! For some WIERD reason it made it all seem a lot easier. So I 'mentally' signed myself up for another 12 week challenge. I weighed in, took measurments and I'm even going to take some starting pictures. The bad news, things are bad - the good news, they aren't as bad as they could be. Weight: 190.5 Body Fat: 44% Chest: 37.5 Bust: 44 Ribs: 36 Waist: 36 Hips: 46.5 Butt: 44.25 Thigh: 25.75 Calf: 14.75 Arm: 14.5 The Goals for the next 12 weeks: Weight: 170.5 Body Fat: 32% Chest: 35 Bust: 39.75 Ribs: 33.25 Waist: 31.5 Hips: 42.75 Butt: 40.75 Thigh: 23.75 Calf: 14.25 Arm: 14 The Plan? I'm going back to what works - BFL What of running? Well I found that the more and more my milage ramped up, the more I was putting off running, and the more afraid I got that I was going to seriously hurt my foot again. Running also lead me to totally change my diet, and weight lifting goals, and so far that's done NOTHING good for me. SO - Nutritition: goes back to straight, traditional BFL style. 1 carb/1 prot 6 times a day 6 days a week. One free day. Weight Workouts: again straight, tranditional BFL style. I miss workouts that make me feel like I'm getting stronger every day. I miss flexing in the mirror. Cardio Workouts: This I'm going to modify slightly. You see, I still want to run. I want to race, I just want to take it a LOT slower then I originally planned. SO - I'm going back to my 5K racing plan (with some modifications). I'm going to do the milage BFL style and work on building up some speed. That way when I start working toward the higher milage I'm not looking at running for HOURS... Cross training scheduled on Sundays may be subs for long hikes (we've been known to do some Doozies). I'll also be posting my intake on Fitday so please feel free to check up on me urlLink HERE and if I'm not posting EMAIL me and ask me WHY!! parttimemom at that free microsoft email site dot com. (Or use the link) You can also check me out at my 'Other' Blog - http://parttimemom.tripod.com/blog/ Last but not least I want to plug the site of my good friend Cory - He's got a GREAT thing going HERE: http://www.cbevolution.ca/phpbb/index.php (I'll type more on that later) I've got a LOT of things I would like to get done tonight, and the only way to get started is to get out of HERE! Thanks all! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 06,June,2004 | I ran four miles! Thats right, me, big ol cant run a mile me, ran four miles! I can hardly believe it myself. A really big step. After this I feel like I can do anything. For some reason a marathon doesnt seem nearly as daunting as it once did. Warped I know, considering that I only ran less then 1/6th of a marathon, but today helped me to realize that I can gradually increase my mileage and continue to improve my endurance. And that Im not as incapable of being athletic as Ive always thought I was. On the nutrition front. I know I said I would give it 4 weeks, but high carb just ISNT doing it for me! Im hungry ALL the time and Im constantly craving stuff. BAD stuff. So Im going to go back to BFL eating for right now, but with a high carb snack after my run (on the days I run). Well see how that goes. My fiance is planning to clean up his diet as well, and that should help me out. Its always hard to keep on the straight and narrow when the person across from you is eating whatever they want. Not that anyone makes food choices and puts them in my mouth but me. Still, its easier. SO, tomorrow the meal plan is this: 7:00am 2 eggs and an English muffin w/butter 10:00am Hard boiled Egg and an apple 1:00pm Chicken breast, veggies, and pasta 4:00 pm yogurt w/protein powder 7:00 pm Burger and baked potato w/butter and veggies 10:00 pm peanut butter shake Tomorrow I start weights again. I will! I will! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,June,2004 | I ran last night! and it was good! I tried something new brought in a beginners running program that I used to get from walking to running to try to bring my speed up. First step: 2 minutes at high speed, 4 minutes at a lower speed. I'm going to do that for my next two runs - then build up time at the higher speed as time progresses - simple! I'm a little worried about my scale though. I think it's gone bonkers. Last night before I weighed 188.5, this morning 190.5 huh? I gained 2 lbs overnight? So I grabbed my other scale and stepped on it and IT says that I weigh 185.5 - so now I'm REALLY confused. Not that I really care about the actual number, I just want to see it going down! So food has been ok. No real plan yet but as I said, the goal is to have it in place by the time the weekend is over. The plan for the weekend is to run on Saturday and hike on Sunday - OR vise-versa. I'm going to do some weight training tonight as well. Other then that, it's just a matter of trying to keep the eats clean. Keeping focused. I've got 5 lbs to lose here! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 03,June,2004 | Well, I couldn't help myself - I got on the scale again this morning. Back to 190, but I'm not going to panick. I think my weight's going to be doing that for a while until my body figures out that I'm serious here. I'm sure things will settle once I start lifting again too. I need to put some muscle back on my body. I'll feel better about it if I do. No that I'm some week and helpless female. HA! I just know that the calories burned by muscles will help a LOT. Plan for tonight is to run 2 miles. After the hell that was my three mile run on Tuesday, this should be a breeze. I just have to decide what movie to start as I finished Grifters. Maybe I'll skip the movie watching and do BFL style intervals again. That was kind of fun. In other news I'm doing pretty good mentally. I'm feeling motivated and postive again. By the end of the weekend my goal is have a solid nutrition plan and start logging food again. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 02,June,2004 | So I weighed in today - 188.5 a bit improvement over yesterday! that gives me a three week goal of 183.5. Very doable. I'm toying with not weighing in again until the three weeks are up - One part of my mind says it will keep me from back sliding if I have one really good week. the other part of my mind says it would be really easy to let things slide without the scale factor to egg me on. I'm still out there on this one... Had a clean day today - eating right where i want it to be with no indescretions. I had to work late AGAIN and this time didn't get home until after 8:00 so.. considering that and the fact that I've excercised four straight days in a row I've decided to NOT workout tonight :) No excuses - it's an executive decision. Thanks so much for the comments. Knowing folks are watching here makes me more apt to post, and knowing I'm expected to post makes me want to do better throughout the day so I don't have to come here and confess my caramel shake! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,June,2004 | I ran! I think it was the hardest ever! Not only have I not ran in a week and a half, but I hiked about 12 miles in the past three days and it was HOT today! I managed to chug through the first mile and a half and then I HAD to take a walk break. I slowed down a bit and then decided to do intervals for the rest of the run. WHEW! I pushed my already tired body to the LIMIT! But it felt great. I still have to eat dinner, but other then the caramel shake at lunch time Ive been good. I got some help from a friend today. We were supposed to be doing a 12 week challenge together but I slid and didnt keep up my end of the deal. Shes continued to check up on me and has been kicking my butt as I asked her to do. Today she suggested that I set a goal of three clean weeks, and in that three weeks work to lose 5 lbs. I thought that was a GREAT idea, so thats the plan. Weigh in is tomorrow morning! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,June,2004 | Today's been pretty good so far. OK, except for the carmel milk shake at lunch. What is WRONG with my head? I have to work until 7:00 tonight but I'm going to go home and hit the treadmill as soon as I get home. 3 mile run. It shouldn't be too bad. Maybe I'll finally get to finish 'Grifters'. I've started watching movies while on my 'long' runs and this one I've been working on for a while. The plan for the rest of the eveing? I'm going to plan my meals for tomorrow and make sure I have lunches packed. I'm going to try again with the 'running' nutrition - eating carbs throughout the day and then having a serving of protien with dinner. I'm going to give it four weeks. And then reevaluate. I know that I can't keep letting things go the way they are or next thing I know I'll be 200+ again! One other thing I'm going to do tonight is re-read my book on mastery. It was so inspiring to me the first time around, maybe it will help to motivate me to keep on track again. Another change I'm going to make is to switch back to a BFL weight lifting scheme. I miss watching my muscles grow! I want to be proud of my back again... Again, I'll give it four weeks and see how it effects my running. So, on June 29th look for me to put up an evaluation. Alright, nose to the grindstone. I want to be that chick at the office that everyone looks up to again! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,June,2004 | Life never turns out as we would expect. After my last post I was full of piss and vinager. Then I realized I was going to have to work until 9:00pm! This meant dinner from the store and no run! But! I did turn the nutrition around for the rest of the week. I never got back on my running program (That will happen tonight) but I did get some great excercise in. Saturday 6-8 mile hike, Sunday 2-3 mile hike, Monday 4 mile hike. All vigerous and all up and down hills! And we had a blast at the same time. Weight today - 192!!! Eeeeek! I can't believe this is happening! I'll be planning good solid nutrition for the rest of the week! And post more often to keep myself accountable. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 28,July,2004 | I don't know what to do I've tried being excited, getting angery, sad... taking a day at a time, planning 12 weeks, looking forward a year... Still I struggle, and feel as if I'm running in a hamster wheel - getting nowhere. Part of myewants to take everything I've been trying to do and throw it out the window and find a whole new approach. Yes, I'm talking about the BFL lifestyle - It's not that it doesn't work. I know it does, but somehow, I'm broken... at least it feels that way. But then the other part of me says 'It works if you do it... you just need to do it! Don't quit, don't be a failure!' What am I working against here? 1) an addiction. As Jay said, a destructive behavior that I recognize, but don't seem to be able to do anything about. At least not for large periods of time. I do it for a while. Usually only if I'm super stict- then I start getting obsessive about being strict and the next thing I know I'm starving myself. Not Good. It's not emotional eating. It's not hunger. Those don't drive me to eat. But it's the sheer PLEASURE of eating. I love food. I love the taste and the variety. I love cooking it and eating it. and the more I focus on it, the worse it seems to get! It's Glutony pure and simple! So, what do I do? Do I pick up the pieces and plow on? Spend hours planning meals, focusing on what's 'good' and 'bad' and continue to give food power? I'm just so FRUSTRATED! Here's what I'm SERIOUSLY consitering...Returning to Weigh down. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a christian weight loss program that tries to 'cure' you of your food addiction. Helping you recognize hunger and eat in accordiance with your bodies needs. It also strips foods of thier power. There is NO 'Good' or 'Bad' food. Everythings allowed as long as your are hungry when you eat it and you stop when you are full. Sounds simple, but it's not. But taking away food's power over me. It's ability to make me FEEL as though I'm worthy or unworthy... I may need to go back to that. 2) Lazyness - That's the only reason I can give for constantly skipping workouts. I'm not ill. I've got a lot of time. I'm reletively healthy, but do I do what I should? No! It's like that law you learned in science class... an object at rest tends to stay at rest.. that's me a big ol' resting object. Wanting to be healthy isn't enough of a motivator, and as I said before all those other emotions haven't changed anything either. I need some purpose. Some good and valid reason to workout. The only idea I've had so far is to join a dance class. Returning to Ballet... Perhaps THAT would motivate me... I dunno... At the moment I'm stuck and I'm at the end of my rope. But maybe that's not an entirely bad thing. maybe what I need to do is let go? |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 27,July,2004 | urlLink This weekend we go on our annual weekend trip with my company. I SO had visions of wowing everyone this year, and instead, I'm only about 10 lbs lighter then last year's trip. BAH! And I'm sitting here having to walk past PILES of paistries each time I run to the bathroom... I just want to go home and curl up in a dark room right now.. really. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 27,July,2004 | *groan* Friday it started, an ice cream and some cookies - and then it continued - Monday I was thinking. This will start on Tuesday, I'm going back to work. Then I walk into work and remembered it was someone's 40th birthday and they had brought in every breakfast no-no known to man, and I continued to graze. I think it may have just stopped when 10 minutes ago, while eating cake, I realized that I was moments from making myself sick! Why do i do this? How does it go so far so fast. How can I stand there poping doughnuts the whole while hating the way I feel in my clothes? I don't understand the mentality and it's ME doing it! I'm a food adict. I know this.. I known it for a while. What I haven't figured out is how to get over it. The only way for me to do this seems to be cold turkey, but then the body's not designed to go without food - so I'm left having to monitor myself. ARG.. this is all so frustrating and currently so completely depressing. No - I'm NOT giving up. I'll continue to bang my head against this brick wall until SOMETHING gives. Hopefully it's not my head! I'm going to run tonight - 2 miles - hopefully my sluggishness will be gone by then. And I'm going to do better. No, not tomorrow, but here and now. There is no reason why I can't make the rest of today count... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 23,July,2004 | Alright, Ive been away for a few days so Ill try to catch you up. Wednesday, I came home so tired! I dropped on the couch as soon as I got home and didnt move for the rest of the night. Literally. I didnt even cook dinner! Instead my fianc made me a PB&J Sandwich. Not exactly the ginger chicken I had planned, but not terribly bad either. I was also so tired I didnt plan the next day. Bad mistake because it was a day in desperate need of planning! Thursday I had an all day meeting. (These happen once a quarter of so). I knew lunch was provided so I would be stuck eating pretty much what they provided. I needed to be to work early too and this limited my breakfast prep time. Breakfast ended up being a bagel with PB on in. On the way into work I picked up and then snacked on an energy bar because I knew it would be a LONG time til lunch. If I only knew HOW long! We finally took a break at 1:00pm. I was so hungry I had a headache and was shaking. Times like that are REALLY dangerous for me because the urge to get sugar to the blood stream FAST is almost too much. Cravings for candy bars were almost overcome by cravings for burgers and fries when I walked past Burger King, but I resisted and forced myself to visit Subway instead (one of my LEAST favorite fast food places). A turkey sandwich and baked lays later and I was feeling a bit better. I went past the Wallgreens and picked up another energy bar for later, and ended up eating it before end of the lunch hour. By the time I got home I was exhausted and STARVING. I grabbed a cheese stick and went to bed. I was feeling a little better after a short nap, but not a lot. Dinner was a NICE healthy blackened chicken (ping me if you want the recipe) and rice.. YUM! Today I woke up and it was OBVIOUS by the way I was feeling that I havent been eating enough. I was week and shaky and my stomach was so upset that I thought I was going to hurl. All symptoms I recognize. So, I had a serving of beef jerky and a bagel. Waited about an hour still feeling crap. Had scrambled eggs and toast. A little better, but still feeling hollow about an hour later, so I had a energy bar to top it all off. Much MUCH better now! As much as I HATE tracking my food if this happens again Im going to start doing it. Its just much much too easy for me to eat less and less every day until Im worn out and eating too too little. In other news, the scale said 185.5 this morning. Das ist Gute OH! And what is today? Friday? My arms still hurt SO BAD! Well not really my arms, but my chest! Im not sure another upper body workout is in a works, but if not, I think Ill run and make up yesterdays missed workout. Still in this thing! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 21,July,2004 | Last night at urlLink Divaquest urlLink Bisous asked us Do people have parts of their bodies they are really proud of? Kickin' biceps, awesome shins? Quads of steel? And that got me thinking. Of course my first response was I have nice cleavage, but that was HARDLY appropriate for a fitness board. The other thoughts that followed werent very apropos either, I have nice hands., I really like my feet.I really had to THINK about it! Im pretty proud of my biceps, but only when compared to the rest of my body. When you hold them up to someone like urlLink Skwigg well, lets just say I havent much to brag about. Same goes for my back/shoulders. Somehow theres a part of me that feels this is VERY VERY wrong. Shouldnt there be SOMETHING of mine, that Ive created, sculpted, worked for that Im willing to show to the world? Truth is, right now NO. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 20,July,2004 | I know it's late, but I wanted to check in before the day was through - How did I do? Let's see: Drink water? Started - will finish in the 15 minutes before I hit the bed Eat on Plan? check! Training Run? 2 miles! check (kicked my butt it did) Vits? Umm... I guess I should do that now -but hate to sleep with that stuff in my tummy I did 1/2 of my 'things for others' 50% hmm And for tomorrow? Drink 48oz of water Lower Body baby! and with the new barbell - cool! Eat on Plan (see plan below) and let's try to get those vitamins in shall we? Things to do for others? Bug my coworker about working out again (shame him if I have to) Ask someone to walk with me at lunch? (Ick) What did I do well today? I ate on plan! yippy (passed up cookies and naco wafers) I ran even when I didn't want to I drank water while running (thus giving me an early start) What could I do better? Drink EARLIER (even more so) Food Plan: B - Blueberry pancakes S - Power Muffin (it's the last of those) L - Leftover chicken from tonight S - Yogurt and fruit and PP (I'm liking this can you tell?) D - Ginger Chicken with rice S - shake (maybe - I've been skipping and feeling fine) Workout: Lower Body! yay (I'm trying to look forward to it LB is my LEAST favorite day) Alright, I'm ready to face tomorrow now! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,July,2004 | When I got home, I was tired. Not just tired, but TIRED. I wanted to just curl up on the couch and not more again til morning. I tried to justify sitting there for just an hour. But I knew, if I gave myself a hour to sit, that it would turn into two hours, and that it would get harder and harder to get up the longer I sat. So, I didnt sit. I got up and changed my clothes and ran. And you know what? I feel TONS better now that I did! Time to make dinner. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,July,2004 | blogger is eating my posts again! I'm telling! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,July,2004 | As I said last nigh,t yesterday was perfect food, water, excercise. It all worked out. I woke up this morning KNOWING it had been a good day. I couldn't roll over because my abs and legs were hurting from the bent rows. I'm really glad I chose to skip the tris and bis last night because if I was any more sore then I am right now, I would be incompasitated. Weight: 186.5 (Ok, even _I_ am saying 'Huh?' about this) Mood: VERY VERY good Status so far: On plan - YAY! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 19,July,2004 | Meals and workout are planned for tomorrow. All I have left for today's goals is to drink my water. Hmm, guess I better get up and get a glass!... There - Now I'm sitting here with 32oz of water beside me. No excuses! So, tomorrow's goals: Drink 40oz of water Do my training run! (someone want to send the 'no excusses' fairy over to my house?) Eat what's on my plan, nothing more! Try taking a vitamine or two? Two things I'll do for others: Make lunch for my honey: (Done) Give (someone who I'll not name here) the weightloss book to read Three things I did well today: Ate on plan! Like SO on plan - passed up all the crap at the store. Didn't eat any of the cookies that are in the cupboard. I just had a GOLDEN day. Did my workout. Worked my weenie arms until they were BEGGING for mercy went for a walk. Even though my plan didn't call for it, a few extra steps never hurt anyone! One thing I could do better: Spread my water out over the day instead of putting it off until 9:00pm! Food Plan: Breakfast - Oatmeal Pancakes Snack - Power Muffins Lunch - chicken Quesedilla Snack - Yogurt, fruit, and Protien Powder Dinner - Chicken Parmisian Snack - Shake Workout: A run on the treadmill (2 miles) First 20 minutes BFL style intervals. There! Everythings all planned out for tomorrow - that feels GOOD! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | I think its a pretty good sign when you finish your workout and cant lift your water bottle to get a drink when your done! Yeah, I had a good workout. First off because I did it, secondly because I did it with the wholehearted support of the one I love, and last but not least, because I put 100% into it and I am TOAST! Can you say noodle arms? It didnt start out so great. I opened up my new barbell; all excited about using it for the first time, and realized that it was missing the collars that were supposed to come with it! Just that little set back had me thinking twice about working out, but my honey wouldnt let me get off that easily. I borrowed the collars from my dumbbells and forged ahead! First was chest. Bench press (on the swissball) 55lbs x 12 I dont know what I was thinking. I loaded the bar WAY too heavy. Barely finished the 12, so I left the weight the same for the next set. 55 x 10 Still heavy! 55 x 8 Almost OK so I bumped the weight for the next set 60 x 6 then 55x12 YEAH! Bench Flyes 15 (each) x 12 That was a 10.5! Next, Shoulders Upright rows 10lbs x 12 15 x 10 20 x 8 25 x 6 20 x 12 all too easy need to up by 5 lbs next time Lateral Flye 2 lbs x 12 WAY too easy maybe 3lbs next time? Next Back Bent Row 40lbs x 12 45 x 10 50 x 8 55 x 6 It was really getting hard so I dumped more weight then I normally would for the final set 45 x 12 Bent Flye 5lbs x 12 too easy need to be heavier next time maybe 7.5 I skipped biceps and triceps this time My arms were already toast from the previous exercises. I just have two more meals to eat and Im finished for the day! AND its been PERFECT!! Wooo Hooo! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | Alright - I'm flooding the airwaves with posts - but that's just how motivated I am today. Goals: in twelve weeks I will: lose 20 lbs drop 2.5 off my chest drop 2.75 off my ribs drop 4.5 off my waist drop 3.75 off my Hips drop 3.5 off my butt drop 2 off each thigh drop .5 off each upper arm drop .5 off each calf I will drop 12% off my body fat. Currently I am 190 lbs at 46.9% Body fat In twelve weeks I will be 170 pounds and 34.9% To achive this goal in the next four weeks I will: lose 6.67 lbs drop 4% body fat drop .83 off my chest drop .92 off my ribs drop 1.5 off my waist drop 1.25 off my hips drop 1.17 off my butt drop .67 off each thigh drop .17 off each calf drop .17 off each upper arm In four weeks I will weigh 183.3 lbs and be at 42.9% body fat. How will I do this? I will plan and eat BFL sytle meals 6 days a week. Free days are on Sundays - no exceptions I will workout 6 days a week. Weight Training Mon/Wed/Fri Running Tue/Thu/Sat Sundays are a rest day. If I miss a workout I will make it up on Sunday but these occurances will be rare I will drink water during the day. Starting with 32oz today and adding 8 oz a day until I reach a minimum of 1/2 my body weight (currently that would be 94oz) I will journal what I eat and why as this was a big help in getting my focus in my first successful BFL challenge. I will love myself enough to treat my body to the best foods and excercise. IF I honor my self promices for six weeks I will buy a chin up bar to add to my home gym. ToDo: Come up with a reward list Create a food journal ----There's more I'm sure so I'll add to this as I think of it. |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | Holey Cow! No wonder it looks as if I've gotten my 'linebacker' back - back. I've put 2 inches back on my chest measurement, 2 on my rib measurement and I'm back to a 38' waist! Ick! Ick! Ick! Something Must be done, and I'm doing it! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | GOD, I'm glad that's over with! here's my thoughts 1 - it could be worse. a LOT worse - in fact, it's BEEN worse 2 - it's obvious that a greater percentage of my weight gain has been (as I suspected) in my bust area. 3 - My 'linebacker' back has returned - this MUST be taken care up 4 - What happened to my bicepts? I'll take and post photos again in 4 weeks. I'm also going to take a few pictures in 'regular' clothes so that I can get a visual there as well, but I won't put you all through the pain of posting them :) I'm actually kind of excited. It's going to be fun to do this again in four weeks if I really stick to my guns. Maybe having these photos up here will help... |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | urlLink Money Shot 7/19 urlLink |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | urlLink Back 7/19 urlLink |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | urlLink Side 7/19 urlLink |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | urlLink Front - 7/19 urlLink |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | Ok - that was wierd - the post that was lost - is now found!? |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | Alright, I come, I go. I start, I restart. About the only thing positive I can say about myself is that I don't give up! HA! Last week was abismal. In fact, I even wrote a post about how abismal Thursday was, and it was so bad the internet ate it! let's just say that my day's menues consisted of, B-Cupcakes, L-Cookies, D-Bizzard from DQ. Yeah, real adult don't you think? The only positive thing I can think to say is that I lived to tell about it! I didn't even have PMS to blame for THAT one. Todays GOOD news? I actually have my menu planned and my lunches packed. All my food is ready to go, and that's a BIG step for me. Also, I bought a barbell (to go with my dumbbells) and I'm so excited to use it that I should have no problem getting my workout in. Weight 190 - Goals: Eat what I planned, nothing more, Do an upper body workout, Drink 32oz of water, Plan tomorrow's meals I also need to do my measurements so I can baseline my progress. I actually signed up for the BFL challenge today and so, I may as well START today. measurements and pictures - gah this is seeming so - official now ;) |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | Yesterday was one of those days. One of those days that I need to have less of, and talk about more. Talk about only so I can figure it out and keep it from happening again... It was one of those days where I revert to my childhood fanticies and eat everything I dreamed about as a kids eating as an adult. *sigh* and I didn't even have PMS to blame for it all. So, are you ready? I can see the horror dawning in your eyes. You have these visions and the reality could turn out to be much worse or much better then what you are imagining. Breakfast - happened about 2:00 in the afternoon. I had slept until noon. It was on the run, I had to be someplace.... I ate two hostess yellow cake cupcakes. Lunch - a few moments later. I was still hungry of course, and the sugar had just started to take a hold of my blood stream... what better then add to the mix. Strawberry filled and Lemon filled cookies (This was my fruit serving for the day). Oh and the stripped shortbread cookies too. (Does it count as food because it had the word BREAD in it?) Dinner - again on the run. I was going to just get a soda while going through the drive through, but I had a few dollars in my pocket and it WAS Dairy Queen... a chocolate chip cookie blizzard somehow ended up in the car with me, and from there in my mouth... (HA it was dairy - right?) and that was it! Writing it makes me want to hurl. I can't belive I ate such CRAP. No wonder I feel swollen and sluggish today. I should feel worse about then I do though. For some reason the childish side of me is a little smug at eating all that and getting away with it. After all, who's going to tell me no? The rest of this week WILL be better. Saturday I'm going to plan my meals for the next week and Sunday do all the shopping, so next week is going to be steller. If only I could find a way to harnes the power of that little brat who made me eat ice cream for good instead of evil! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 13,July,2004 | I know what you're thinking! Yeah, I hear ya... 'She's fallen off the wagon again...' 'She's probably 10 lbs heavier by now..' BUT, guess what! I've actually been doing well. I've just been busy as hell! heheheh. Weight today 186.5 (BooYA!) I even did a BFL style leg workout last night! Yeah Yeah Yeah! I haven't been 100% but I've been 95% at least and getting a lot of 'incedental' excercise. Hiking, walking, housework, that sort of stuff. It's all good! This week I'm going to try to focus on a structured workout routine and get back into the habit of lifting weights. I'm seeing some small changes here, starting to get excited, and I'll do my best to keep you informed! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 01,July,2004 | 187.5!! whoop! I LOVE the first week back on plan. All that water weight. heh. Another clean eating day! Yay! Feeling really good and really strong right now. Yes, the smores candy bar is still calling my name, but it's getting quieter. I've a 2 mile run planned for tonight! |
1,084,212 | female | 35 | indUnk | Capricorn | 04,August,2004 | I'm still out here, still waffling. I know I need to make a choice here and go with it, and yet I haven't. I need to find the strength to cross tha abyss AGAIN. |
3,877,921 | female | 16 | Student | Libra | 08,July,2004 | I just started this and I have no idea how to do anything. lol. Well we'll see how this goes. |
3,877,921 | female | 16 | Student | Libra | 13,August,2004 | By Sixpence None the Richer I'm going nowhere and I'm going to take my time All the questions in the world I can leave in my mind I'm waiting on the sunshine, the sunshine I'm waiting for answers I'm waiting to figure it out I trip on my chances I slip through my doubt I'm going nowhere and I'm going to take my time all the questions in the world I can leave in my mind I'm waiting on the sunshine, the sunshine the sunshine well it seems that my weakness is sometimes my only strength and in my incompleteness you get your way I'll be around and I will find my way back down and I'll see the sound of the sun I'm going nowhere and I'm going to take my time all the questions in the world I can leave in my mind I'm waiting on the sunshine, the sunshine the sunshine |
3,877,921 | female | 16 | Student | Libra | 13,August,2004 | Wow. I can't believe how fast the summer's gone by. But WAIT! It's NOT over yet!! You know, if I was in school right now, the next 2 weeks and 1/2 would be a really long vacation. So I have to keep thinking that way. Not School's almost here, but 2&1/2 week Holiday. Hey, that's longer than Christmas break. I'm not too anxious or whatever about starting again, it's just the same old, same old to me. I always like to get new clothes! That's the fun part, of course. Everyone is so scared about seeing people again. It's only been 3 months! Not three years! And like, who really cares what ppl think about you. So I don't look totally different.~ So what? I've given up on the whole must-try-harder-to-improve-my-look craze, I just wear what I like & have my hair and make-up the way I want it. I remember in 8th grade I would wake up at a quarter to 6 sometimes so I could get my face and hair just right. Now I wake up at 6:30, and spend a 30 minutes on all of that. (mostly because it's early and it takes forever to wake up) Anyway, I'm rambling.. as usual. |
4,242,747 | male | 13 | Student | Gemini | 20,August,2004 | WORD!!! I'm at school again for the second day in a row... good stuff. lol Yeah the day got really crappy by the end of Georgia Studies I was about ready to just keel over and die. The cause: Firends with problems and problems with friends, again. |
4,242,747 | male | 13 | Student | Gemini | 19,August,2004 | I'm at school!!! |
4,242,747 | male | 13 | Student | Gemini | 18,August,2004 | I'm at school!!! |
4,242,747 | male | 13 | Student | Gemini | 18,August,2004 | I'm at school!!! |
4,242,747 | male | 13 | Student | Gemini | 18,August,2004 | Well today was an ok day considering the following: A. James is still sick B. I don't think i did well on my grammer test C. I was about ready to take a nap in half of my clases D. I don't like the band music E. I stepped in a huge ass wad of gum, now stuck to my k-swiss. F. Since James was sick and Brooke is gone i have rarely a chance to stirke up a good convo. BUT!!! 1. I enjoyed my walk to Covenant talkin to Kevin and listening to Early Days, (note the title of the post) 2. The opener for Covenant Connection was a good time. 3. I got to see Ross, Anne, Heather, and the 2 new people Nick & Laura. 4. I got a free meal. 5. The meal was good. 6. I had barely any homework. 7. I get to right to you people who read this, i feel important. lol Soo... good times bad times. eh... it was ok. Cya tom, bright and early Oh, yeah, AAAHHH A CHAINSAW!!!!!!!!!! EZ |
4,242,747 | male | 13 | Student | Gemini | 17,August,2004 | Since my pro is sooo wacked up i'll put some lyrics on here Rock And Roll (Bonham/Jones/Page/Plant) It's been a long time since I rock and rolled, It's been a long time since I did the Stroll. Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back, Let me get it back, baby, where I come from. It's been a long time, been a long time, Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time. Yes it has. It's been a long time since the book of love, I can't count the tears of a life with no love. Carry me back, carry me back, Carry me back, baby, where I come from. It's been a long time, been a long time, Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time. Seems so long since we walked in the moonlight, Making vows that just can't work right. Open your arms, opens your arms, Open your arms, baby, let my love come running in. It's been a long time, been a long time, Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time. |
4,242,747 | male | 13 | Student | Gemini | 15,August,2004 | James got sick today...and with Brooke gone i have no people to talk 2 during my lunch period. It pisses me off, i was really borrreeddddddddd... I have had so many songs stuck in my head all day, Black Dog, Immigrant Song, and so many other songs too... the list goes on. Uggh so tired want to tell my rents to sttop telling me what 2 do and leave me alone. I need my own computer... WEll i g2g will ttyl P.S.= ny friends name is .... JAMES!!! |
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