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532,704 | 70,535 | 62,430 | 3 |
I could barely sit through this nonsense
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In the words of Art Bell just after the Kreskin Vegas fiasco . . . lame , lame , lame . The action jumped around like a rabbit on crank , not spending nearly enough time with many of the scenes for a complete telling of the story . The dialogue was tepid and all those rambling songs were just dull , empty filler . The producers managed to take one of the best novels of the 60's and butcher it without mercy . It was fun seeing some of the old players however this film was anything but a keeper .
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533,350 | 70,535 | 55,558 | 3 |
Had they ridden separately this may have been better
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This may have been the worst of Stewart's and Widmark's westerns . Part comedy , part drama , it never went all the way in any direction leaving the viewer awash in a horse trough of boring silliness . This was just another in a long line of indian hostage retrieval pictures . Who cast Strode as an injun anyway ?
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532,616 | 70,535 | 77,289 | 3 |
An abominable bore
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For this to have been a comedy , I sure found nothing humorous about it . For it to have had the big name comics in it , I found few laughs . It was one of those films that I thought would never end , as a bunch of folks ran around doing stupid things in an upscale hotel . Pitiful , thumbs down .
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532,426 | 70,535 | 35,896 | 3 |
huggy , kissy war drudgery
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One of the most boring movies I've ever sat through . I kept waiting for some action , and finally got some at the end , but mostly what I saw was a middle aged yankee going bonkers over a very un-Spanish looking woman . There was an overabundance of arguing and infighting among the rebels which accounted for an overabundance of dreary dialogue . Had the entire film been as fast paced as the final 20 minutes , I would have been far more satisfied .
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532,685 | 70,535 | 57,887 | 3 |
Surf , suds , sand , sex . . . . & stupid
|
This has to be the worst installment of the series and usually I find something in these beach epics somewhat amusing , but this one fell flatter than a Galveston wave . Even my idols , Eric Von Zipper and his army of Ratz , weren't given decent parts . I could easily have gone without the silvery warbling of Annette as she walked along the ocean's edge ; her's and Frankie's mediocre vocals added nothing to the film . Now that I think of it , they took away . This driftwood should be heaved overboard and the lines to the lifebuoys sliced .
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532,593 | 70,535 | 36,824 | 3 |
This should have been called " The Drunken Airheads "
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Well , Big John fights and loves his way across the 7 seas in this one . Whatta guy ! What a load of propaganda drivel ! The Big Guy storms the beaches with his gang of hard drinking , 2 fisted construction workers . Amid stirring patriotic music and a touching love triangle , The Duke opens a can of whup-ass and douses the nasty Nips with it . Pathetic acting , phony battle scenes , and ditzy dialogue made for movie masochist mayhem . I'll bet this fluff swelled the ranks of the U . S . Navy back there in ' 44 . What a stinker .
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533,390 | 70,535 | 77,416 | 3 |
Drunks go to war
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The so-called hunters in this film are typical of why P . E . T . A . formed their animal rights group . These boozing bozos , who couldn't even go afield equiped with a pair of boots , sprayed and prayed the woods over until they finally ran some hapless quarry to ground . A trio of these beerheads decide to quit their jobs at the foundry to go be patriotic in the Viet Nam conflict . But first the suds suckers go to a wedding . Then they suddenly are combat vets who wind up very suddenly : A . As a reclusive paraplegic B . Becoming a member of some super secret Russian Roulette fraternity C . Going home and cruising around in a cool Airborne uniform . This must have been an art form because it didn't play out like a movie . Thumbs down to this useless , meaningless time waster .
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532,450 | 70,535 | 70,736 | 3 |
Another Bronson Bomb
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Seems like the early 70's was a bad time for old Chuck B . He put out a series of really bad , boring films during that time and this one stands out in my mind as one of the worst of the bunch . Just a series of senselessly violent scenes coupled with dull dialogue and a dreary story . For diehard Bronson fans only , I would say .
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532,931 | 70,535 | 118,604 | 4 |
Tiresome remake
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Take an utterly stupid story . Couple it with unprofessional performances , 2 bit graphics , add ultra-lame comedy bits , and you get this film . I thought the original was bad , but at least that story was simple and straightforward , though idiotic . May nobody produce another in this series .
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533,066 | 70,535 | 120,510 | 4 |
Boy searches for God
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Corny , unrealistic tale of a young boy on a quest for enlightenment after being totally confused by his empty headed religion . Now , how many little boys do you see giving up baseball and TV for that trip ? This film went absolutely nowhere ; one lame , boring scene after another featuring some little cutesy actor who was unable to keep this dead fish afloat . Bother not .
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533,312 | 70,535 | 103,074 | 4 |
A really , really , really , bad movie
|
This is a very popular movie , and I don't see why . It had good actors and actresses in it [ with the glaring exception of Brad Pitt - this guy simply can't act ] , but the story was vapid to the extreme . The whole thing was silly and boring with , however , an interesting and unusual ending . A fitting end for these 2 dumb broads . I suppose it had plenty of action to it , but is that enough to carry it ? I don't think so . Thumbs down all the way .
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532,413 | 70,535 | 118,688 | 4 |
Not too bad , not too good
|
The usual Batman and Robin story . This one had more overblown special effects than the others , a sexy Uma Thurman , and a vivacious Alicia Silverstone , but still managed only to be mundane . I did think the Batmobile was cool , though .
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533,197 | 70,535 | 113,071 | 4 |
another dull , dreary swordfighting tale
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This movie was not what I wanted in a tale about the Round Table . Richard Gere , a talented actor , was not right for this part . But then , maybe no one was . I found the plot to be very shallow , and the dialogue wasn't far behind . The derring-do knight and the damsel in distress is an overdone story , and this film offered nothing new . 1 star .
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532,821 | 70,535 | 95,246 | 4 |
Missed attempt at doing something different
|
This , next to Volcano , is the worst Tommy Lee Jones film I've ever seen . The ghost bit didn't come off , the friends of Jones ' character added nothing to the story . . . and the story ! Just what was the story ? Something about a ghost wanting her jewels back and her hubby running some creepy game on Jones . Stupid tale plus dull , plodding dialogue equals a real loser movie .
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533,206 | 70,535 | 89,852 | 4 |
There are some real freaks out there
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Watch this one just to see a bizarre collection of the deluded , the braindead , and the plain old put-ons . The 2 most noticeable of all the weirdos in this documentary were the muscle bound she-man { Bev Francis , I think } , and unbelievably phony Rachel McLish . Miss Francis , who at least saw the competition for what it was , was a ghastly example of what a distorted mind coupled with dangerous steroids can become . As freaky as this woman was I must say that Miss McLish topped her for an outright eccentric , perhaps grotesque , mindset . I heard nothing , I insist . . . nothing , come out of this woman's mouth that was even remotely real . This has to be the most devious , deceitful person I've seen anywhere . I wonder if her whole life isn't one big hallucination . I have seldom seen a group of people more to be pitied than I did in this expose of womens ' bodybuilding . Not a well done film , but worth seeing how odd we humans can act when our minds take us down the wrong path . Strange .
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532,694 | 70,535 | 120,616 | 4 |
Sufferin ' Sphinx !
|
Shoulda called this turkey " The Dummy " . Wasn't anything but a cheap knockoff of " Raiders of the Lost Ark " , with nowhere near the tension and excitement . This junk was merely ridiculous , stupid , silly , idiotic , etc . I've rarely been subjected to such cornball dialogue combined with extremely bad storytelling as I was with this tale . The excellent computer trickery could do nothing to save this putrid bilge .
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532,601 | 70,535 | 226,194 | 4 |
Santa must live on
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When the reigning Santa is no longer fit for duty his helpers must search for a replacement . This leads to a wacky , exhausting hunt and doesn't turn up exactly what Santa's angels hoped for . To make matters worse still , " Santy " winds up being just this side of totally undesirable . This is the worst Christmas tale I've seen yet , and I had no trouble spotting the shameless subliminals . The producers could have picked another genre to promote their silly assed agendas .
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532,359 | 70,535 | 53,221 | 4 |
Too long , too slow
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The 2 highlights were Dean's & Ricky's western song and Walter Brennan's portrayal of the cackling geezer . Too bad there wasn't more interesting material throughout because most of the rest was dull dialogue , very little action [ although there was a fun shoot-out near the end ] , and way , way too much romancing between The Duke and a woman young enough to be his granddaughter . Part of the reason I watched this was to see if Ricky could act . . . . he couldn't .
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532,412 | 70,535 | 111,301 | 4 |
Absolute rot
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Typical Van Damme theatrics as he leads a band of AN [ a thinly disguised glorification of the UN ] forces , taking on a madman dictator intent on world domination . How unusual ! Many full auto magazines emptied , much screaming , and boatloads of martial arts techniques . Phony and totally lacking in realism , but action fans should love it .
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533,021 | 70,535 | 62,886 | 4 |
Should have titled this " The Dumbass Brigade "
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What a load of phony baloney trash . No " crack " unit of commandos would want to ever be allowed to act as these jackasses do . Silly macho dialogue , stupid macho brawls , goofy macho action scenes all combined to make for a boring , idiotic , insipid , mundane , moronic , unrealistic aid for insomniacs . It sure wasn't a good war movie ; it wasn't even a good movie . Pitiful attempt at re-doing " The Dirty Dozen " .
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533,399 | 70,535 | 115,956 | 4 |
Join the Army . You might win a medal .
|
Mediocre war flic which nevertheless showed the insanity of war , the reality check of the war machine's cannon fodder when faced with a real world combat situation , and the political goings-on designed to color the opinions of the civilian population . Not as sugary as the badly done " G . I . Jane " [ I'll bet this one upped the population in military barracks ] , but no award winner either .
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532,820 | 70,535 | 115,798 | 4 |
Sick comedy takes a bizarre look at stalking
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By far the worst film yet for the talented Mr . Carey . I found Carey's character completely annoying , not to mention the pansy ass part that Broderick played . I've never been stalked , but have had obnoxious losers try to attach themselves to me in the past : this picture was an unwelcome reminder of those folks . Some of the film was funny , but for the most part it was a dud .
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533,589 | 70,535 | 102,247 | 4 |
Bear marries Princess
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In a land far , far away , a king is turned into a bear by a jealous witch . The bear travels to another far , far away land and meets a fox . Get it ? Fox ? yuk yuk Of course , the foxy princess falls for the bruin right off the bat and runs off with him to the marriage bed . If you want to find out if the couple live happily ever after and defeats the evil witch , see this film . However , if you are smart , you'll stay far , far away .
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532,742 | 70,535 | 53,559 | 4 |
Ghouls , glasses , ghosts & greed = garbage
|
I never could figure out if this was a black comedy or a serious spook flic . Either way it was one of the goofiest , cornball attempts at film making I've seen lately . The plot was more transparent than any of the spirits . The lame acting and overdone facial expressions coupled with the 40 year old special effects made for a real yawner . This junk would give Anton Phibes nightmares .
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533,141 | 70,535 | 51,418 | 4 |
Not as bad as " Lost in Space " . . . but still horrid
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When a small glob of space age silly putty lands on earth it soon begins consuming earthlings and putting on weight . The only part of this senseless drivel that I enjoyed was all the cool classic cars . This dog had so many holes it could be sliced and sold for swiss cheese . This thing actually made 20 million bucks ? And McQueen's salary was 3K ? All were vastly overpaid . The ' monster ' looked a lot like a large beanbag and the ' teens ' looked as though they could have children approaching their teen-age years . And those blasts from the shotgun ; sounded like a pellet rifle with a sound suppressor . The ending was pitifully trite ; obviously the producers were leaving the door open for a sequel . . . . and there were many . Thumbs down .
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532,811 | 70,535 | 274,204 | 4 |
Another " somebody is killing hookers " clone
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Nothing new or particularly intriguing with this thriller wannabe . As is current we have the power women and their lackeys educating us all on how much better the world would run if only the girls were at the helm . The police go all out trying to figure out who is bumping off these wonderful pillars of the community as the power chick weeps and moans over their plight in life . These characters were all cut from the same pattern as in past similar films : I could only yawn and sigh as the " surprises " reeled off toward the end . I've seen worse movies , but this was a long way from being anything but another tepid whodunnit .
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532,550 | 70,535 | 66,769 | 4 |
Another ' creature from outer space invades planet earth and kills earthlings ' film
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A little more glossy and well done but still just another killer bug from Planet X bore . The group of scientists and doctors sent to combat the ' thing ' went through all the usual dramatic paces as they strove to figure out what the awful presence was and how to negate it , all the way to the final exiting [ ho-hum ] finale . Ok for sci-fi fans I suppose , but I'd rather watch a good suspense thriller without the alien crawling creature .
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533,504 | 70,535 | 77,327 | 4 |
Not enough sauce on this spaghetti
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A rancher standing in the way of the railroad getting his property is slated for killing by a convict who will escape the hangman's noose if he does the job . Instead of doing the hit , the con takes off with the rancher's wife , creating a big manhunt and many deaths . There was a big shoot-out at the end of the picture and a few high points along the way , but overall this film was a loser . Too many pointless sex and nudity scenes , not enough action . Slow and dull .
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532,747 | 70,535 | 57,603 | 4 |
There's no ghoul like an old ghoul
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If I could turn this thinly plotted , badly acted rotting corpse into blood , Dracula and all his kin could feast one time and never be forced to look for human blood again . The vampire bit was the best of the 3 , but was in no way a high grade production . This phony baloney bilge wouldn't scare a 4 year old at midnight on Halloween Night . There was so much heavy breathing in these plays it sounded a meeting of Emphesema Anonymous . And just where did all those lovely lights in the old ruins come from , Frankenstein Power & Light ?
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532,793 | 70,535 | 162,661 | 5 |
Hollow headed horror
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Goofy tale of a headless zombie who decaps a town's leading citizens for mysterious reasons . A candy assed , blackout prone cop is sent to solve the crime and uncovers more than just a simple case of a spook gone wild . Spooky , creepy atmosphere , but a little silly .
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532,865 | 70,535 | 91,295 | 5 |
Like every other biography
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Thin , sketchy story ; interesting and well enough done but , like all these life history films , too little in too small a space . Dancer aged twenty years in about fifteen minutes of stage routines , then he went through three wives in around sixty minutes . If one wants to know about Pryor , reading his bio would be a wiser choice .
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532,966 | 70,535 | 89,927 | 5 |
When's this old fart going to hang up his gloves ?
|
I was told this was a good installment in the saga of this dumb pug , and I suppose it was no worse than the others I've seen . Still , it was a case of " been there , done that " . I knew Creed was going to lose , and then Big Rocky step in and clean the ruskie's plow . It was the same stuff as the previous three , just dressed up a tad different . I enjoyed it , but enough already .
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532,460 | 70,535 | 65,032 | 5 |
Too slow paced for what could have been an exciting movie
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Too much talking , not enough action . A bad injun stalks a family in the mountains . They spent all the film never seeing the indian , but constantly being harried by him . I felt there could have been more drama to this one . It wasn't a bad picture , just slow and mopey .
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532,652 | 70,535 | 61,189 | 5 |
' B ' movie about thugs on cycles
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I first saw this show in ' 66 when I was a cycle rider myself . I liked it so much that I went to see it twice . Even liked the music . After watching it again over 30 years later , I have to ask myself just what it was that I found so appealing about the film . It was corny , overacted , sometimes badly acted , and it had a juvenile storyline . I guess what I liked about it back then was all the motorcycles . Good to see that Peter Fonda has improved with age .
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532,511 | 70,535 | 277,434 | 5 |
The horror of war , the boredom of peace
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Pretty good war flic , but the producers could have lost the first dull 45 minutes . They always have to show the huggy body / kissy face family crap before the bloodletting . To me , " Platoon " was a more realistic Viet Nam film , but I must say the carnage was more graphic in WWS . Elliot was tough and amusing as the grizzled top kick , but Gibson came off as a tad wimpy for a gung-ho combat officer . His tears just after the big battle were a trifle trumped up looking . I liked the unbloodied Air Corp guys as they jumped over the parapets yelling " Air Corp ! " only to be blown away . Amazing what you can get people to do in the name of democracy and the flag . This was a real gorefest , but let's face it : it's been done and done to death . One never sees the spraying multi-jets of blood coming out a human's back on the History Channel .
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533,563 | 70,535 | 50,659 | 5 |
The King swings and sings till your ears ring
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Well , The Big E does it again . . . . fails as an actor , that is . This junk was " Jailhouse Rock " without the jail [ which is where I would rather have been than watching this piffle ] . Can't the producers find someone to teach The Big E how to lip synch . . . . and act ? I howled with glee watching The Big E " playing guitar " . It is pathetically obvious the man has no idea which end of the thing goes up . When chords change , he merely lifts his hand and lowers it to the same position on the neck [ most likely at the signal from some off stage flunky ] . I got a kick out of the finale when The King came on stage in those oily jeans with the cuffs turned half way up to his knees and did all that lock legged shakin ' . Frankenstein has more rhythm than this herky jerky stiff . The Big E should have lent his talents to other things . . . . like selling encyclopedias .
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532,829 | 70,535 | 72,615 | 5 |
How come the whites never kidnap an indian ?
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Cornball , super low budget film with amateur performances by all . . . and that includes Rich Boone . Actually , Boone gives his standard act , which seems to be basically all he cares to deliver . I suppose he has his bit down pat and doesn't care to deviate . The best performance of all came from his mutt , Bar Killer , who totally outshone all of his human counterparts . The tired old ' indian takes a white slave ' story has been done to death by Hollywood and this picture merely trods over the same old turf as the gritty little brother goes after his abducted sister with the " help " of a pusgutted wino and a dying redskin . The whole production was grade B and totally predictable all the way . I must say the scenes of Arches Monument were excellent and captured the rocky beauty of the southwestern U . S . nicely .
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532,775 | 70,535 | 70,458 | 5 |
Laughable
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If Dracula ever sees this garbage he will furiously drain every member of the cast and crew . Here we have a vampire who goes " AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH ! " as he attacks and strangles his victims , a terrified wife , the standard believer / unbeliever line , and lots of stormy weather [ what else ? ] . Hammy acting , lackluster dialogue , and a stupid story offering a series of " surprises " one can see coming 15 minutes before their arrival made for 1 hours of total tedium . I was particularly offended by Angie Dickenson's way overdone high school drama club gasps , expressions , and dubbed in screams , however I did somewhat appreciate the final couple minutes of the film .
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533,244 | 70,535 | 89,886 | 5 |
Animal House revisited
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Absolutely nothing new with this offering . Reminded me a lot of one of the worst films I ever saw , Animal House . Surely real geeks don't act this silly , eh ? The popcorn bit was pretty neat , but this format has been done before . First movie I've seen yet with Kilmer that I didn't enjoy , he is a good player but I simply hated his character in this one .
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533,413 | 70,535 | 89,885 | 5 |
Frankenstein meets the Incredible 2-Headed Transplant
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Not as bad as Frankenstein or 2-headed transplant , but close . I don't appreciate the horror genre so this was not very entertaining to me . I did get a few laughs and there were some good effects but for the most part it left me cold . Buckets of blood and several walking dead for all you lurch lovers out there . . . all others beware .
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533,344 | 70,535 | 210,257 | 5 |
Cocky car crazy Kook cruises , crashes & controls cut-off queen in kinky , corny caper
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This is a prime example of been there , done that filming . Hasn't been that long since I saw one very much like this in which a pair of loonies terrorized a family with a car : a situation which could have been resolved with a good twice barrel 12 gauge scattergun . Not that this was a complete waste of time , but the producers were just operating within the old psycho / scared woman mold which has been beaten to death over the years . These folks knew who the bad guy was ; why not merely show up at his doorstep late one night and pour a SUV full of high octane whup-ass on the sucker's pointy little head till he got the message that anymore highway hijinks would be totally unacceptable . Only if you just gotta see a film and nothing else is playing .
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532,574 | 70,535 | 89,913 | 5 |
Was the big revolt really worth it ?
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Great battle scenes , but the story fell short in between . Too much crammed into to little space made for a herky jerky tale . For instance , Daisy and Tom were barely acquainted when suddenly they were madly in love without any buildup at all . Not a bad picture , but don't go out of your way to see it .
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533,574 | 70,535 | 63,210 | 5 |
IL ' cross eyes does it again . . . . . fails , that is
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Another bland concoction featuring the boozy , down-on-his-luck read : lazy Tony Rome . While not as goofy , just almost , as " Tony Rome " , I still enjoyed the cornball humor and tough guy action especially from Dan Blockbuster as he waltzed through his big and bad bit . Had to snort at the unseen nod to " Bonanza " , somehow I knew that would pop up . Maybe Lorne Green should have been the lead instead of Snotra , eh ? The only bright spot in this gibberish was the sensational Lanie Kazan and her go-go dancing self . Even an ' in her heyday ' Raquel couldn't hold a candle to this voluptuous doll . OK , she could too hold a candle but it didn't shine with the fervor of Kazan's . Actually , the better title for this turkey would have been " Lady in Concrete " since cement is the wet form of concrete . Or , how about " Concrete Blonde " ?
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532,557 | 70,535 | 73,784 | 5 |
Once again we find hay bales in the old west
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Rugged western with a comedy side order . Several groups of toughs go after an innocent man who is holding a large amount of cash . Of course each group is intent on out gunning , linking forces , or back stabbing the other guy for a shot at the bucks . This led to loads of spaghetti style gunplay and many bodies biting the dust . Had to wonder how many black half breeds there were in the old west who could do spinning heel kicks and a flying double front kick . Only fair .
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532,549 | 70,535 | 43,915 | 5 |
Did Grant really say " Judy , Judy , Judy " ?
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So-so picture which , like many of Grant's films , got a little ploddy in spots . Seems to me a bit unrealistic that some little pissant quack could bring charges against a fellow professional in this manner . I would have told the wormy little toilethead that if he had a problem to take me to court . Cronyn played his part best and , for my money , had the most interesting character .
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532,915 | 70,535 | 83,598 | 5 |
Awful ! Awful !
|
Dull , uninspiring tale of a playwright trying to juggle a new play , his cheating wife , an incompatible live-in , and a mixed bag of children . It was more boring than a Hank Weirdo , Jr . / Kid Puke concert . Has anybody ever noticed that Dyan Cannon's laugh sounds a lot like a ruptured Bolivian swamp thing ?
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532,861 | 70,535 | 52,700 | 5 |
Hang ' em and the let the worms feast on the remains
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Good film about 2 slimy little psychos who murder a child to prove their superiority . A big trial ensues and a big tub of guts , whinebag lawyer pleads for the poor , misunderstood lads to be put in an asylum instead of being given a necktie party . I sometimes wonder how those who pity these slugs would feel if it were their family members that were slaughtered . I say hanging , the needle , gas or the hot seat is too easy : 2 weeks of grinding torture sounds like it would even the score to me . 4 stars .
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533,513 | 70,535 | 50,556 | 5 |
Evis ? Evis ! You in the shower with a woman , boy ? Evis !
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Hot headed construction worker winds up in the pen after fighting over a bar room doxie . After being released , he becomes an overnight sensation leading to his becoming a swaggering prima donna . He then shuns any emotional attachments to other people in favor of fame and fortune . Typical Elvis fare . Skip it .
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532,925 | 70,535 | 91,187 | 5 |
not a very good war picture
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This was supposed to be an account of life in the military . It was pretty thin . The war sequences were phoney looking and dull . The acting was uninspired , as was the plot . Once again Hollywood tries to cram to much life into to little time . Skip this one .
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533,220 | 70,535 | 61,420 | 5 |
Pretty bad , but fun to see
|
This one started the Billy Jack craze . Personally , I think Billy is an idealistic moron . He thought he could fight city hall , and never did realize he couldn't . The gang leader had more upstairs than Billy did . And Mclaughlin never did learn how to act ; what a ham .
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532,423 | 70,535 | 41,890 | 5 |
Farm life in the early 20th century
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A small boy becomes emotionally attached to a new born black lamb and decides to enter it in the county fair . Living with his stern Granny on a farm means there is little money for frivolities , so the youngster goes out and gets the needed funds the old fashioned way . . . he earned them . Many things conspire to halt the trip to the fair : most brought on by the critter itself , but , of course , the lad and his pet enter the competition . There are lots of songs and animation in this dated but still enjoyable film , which also carries a simple but solid message about dealing with life's good and bad times .
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532,800 | 70,535 | 118,691 | 5 |
The Nanny goes to Europe
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Well , Hollywood lets Fran Drecher take her Jewish girl schtick to another country . She takes the job of teacher to a despot's children , and all the predictable jokes and predicaments follow neatly in their prescribed order . I've seen worse , but it wasn't a very watchable film . Just stay home and watch The Nanny reruns .
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532,757 | 70,535 | 162,711 | 5 |
Overbaked turkey
|
Although Trixie had a certain goofy appeal , especially her reversal or confusion of certain words and phrases , I found the film way too slow moving . It was well enough done and not a complete waste of time but it tried too hard to be comedy and drama winding up being just a mishmash of silly dark comedy .
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533,218 | 70,535 | 120,791 | 5 |
Wasn't too crazy about this one
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This is probably the least entertaining Sandra Bullock film I've seen to date . All the witchery , spells , and chanting coupled with an exorcism just didn't work for me . Can't say I absolutely hated the show , but I never got real worked up over it either . Nice performances by all , good settings , pretty scenery - but just a blah story .
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532,997 | 70,535 | 54,757 | 5 |
Here we go again
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It's the same old John Wayne : lots of dead injuns , the Duke slugging a few jaws , the Big Guy taking in the Bad Guy , more dead injuns . I've never , and I mean never , seen so many horses fall down . Every time a Ranger shot one of the wily redskins , could the poor red devil simply fall off and lay there ? Noooooooooo ! He had to drag the dumb beast down with him : I suppose the director figured this added a little ' life ' heh heh to the film . One or two times maybe , but after I saw 500 horses fall down I started to get a tad jaded . Did anybody notice in the rain scene how the precipitation stopped about 50 feet from where Wayne was ? Oh well , I suppose it has to stop raining somewhere , eh ? If you like ' ol John and love to see him lay a ton of whup-ass on a group of hapless renegades then watch this . All others best avoid . Note : Wayne's son can't act any better than his pappy .
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533,325 | 70,535 | 105,402 | 5 |
Another droll Chuckie show
|
Well , here we go again . Hai-Karate , chopie-sockie , butts kicked , and a boy becomes a MAN . Why does Chuckie make these dull , meaningless , fluffy little popcorn pictures ? Money , of course . Certainly not to make a point , for it takes substance to make something significant . In this gratuitous pulp an emotionally stunted , physically challenged young boy becomes an overnight sensation in the martial arts . How did he do this ? Easy . Chuckie inspired him ! How stimulating ! How moving ! What a load of dung .
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533,249 | 70,535 | 105,383 | 5 |
Attempted murder for money
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Not a real good film , not real bad . A woman is assaulted in her bathtub and beaten into a coma . Fourteen months later she awakes and goes on a crusade to find the reasons for the attack . Several people come under suspicion , and she realizes that some she thought were loyal to her are anything but . Not knowing who to trust , she reluctantly plays a desperate killer's game . 2 stars .
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532,404 | 70,535 | 59,124 | 5 |
2 jerks take on an insane doctor out to get rich
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I saw this picture many moons ago , and thought it was pretty funny then . I have gotten somewhat more sophisticated since then , therefore I consider the jokes to be very lame now . I laughed in a few spots , but most of the comedy was just plain silly . Everybody overacted their parts , probably due to the producer's plans , but it came off juvenile and corny . Price was making fun of all the old horror films he starred in , most of which were funny enough without his making light of them . Frankie Avalon turned in his usual no-talent performance , as did " Dobie " star Dwayne Hickman . I didn't hate the movie , it was just too dumb for me .
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533,554 | 70,535 | 120,737 | 5 |
Good takes on evil as swords flash and sorcery abounds
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Much better than I thought it would be , but lacked the detail of the books . I was especially impressed with the camera as it allowed the size of some things to shrink while others expanded making a spectacular scene wherever it took the viewer . The first hour or so was a tad slow but at the end I wasn't ready for it to come to a close .
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533,159 | 70,535 | 70,267 | 5 |
Train robber tries to go straight
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Not to interesting tale of a 2 bit thief who decides to live the straight and narrow . After coming to a small town and working a series of dead end jobs plus making a mess of his social life , The Kid figures the straight life has it's drawbacks . Dull dialogue and a snail slow pace made this kid blue .
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533,464 | 70,535 | 167,049 | 5 |
kids help dad get a date
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The 2 cutest kids in the world decide to help their dad rope in a mate by advertising his stats for all the world to see . . . . much to dad's chagrin . Naturally , this leads to adventures for the girls and romance for dad . The usual stuff from the Olsons ' : in other words , no great shakes , but a fun time just the same .
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532,485 | 70,535 | 113,028 | 5 |
Predictable adventure yarn
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Why can't Hollywood come up with something besides the same old stuff that plays out exactly as you know it will ? Every cliche in the " boy lost in the wilderness " tale was brought out , dusted off , and run a little deeper into the turf . This kid was supposed to have had training in the survival arts , but he didn't have a clue as to the first rule when lost . . . stay put . He just kept walking farther and farther away from his rescuers while mom and pop were at home wringing their hands in agony . Of course , there was another of those idiotic wolf attacks . Enough with the wolf attacks !
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532,810 | 70,535 | 70,294 | 5 |
As bad as the book
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Run of the mill " ghostbusters visit old house " bore . The usual spooky hijinks - banging noises , moving objects , eerie manifestations , screaming women , gasps , groans , slamming doors , blah , blah , blah . Can't take this crap seriously and unable to laugh at it either . Where is Anton Phibes when he is needed ?
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533,213 | 70,535 | 116,329 | 5 |
Almost didn't finish watching
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This was another of those troubled teen films that I dislike so much . The rebellious , bitchy , bratty teen with the weight of the world solidly placed on her brave little shoulders . What rot ! A very hokey production with an unbelievable story about a flock of geese trained to follow a flying go-cart . I've seen worse , but just barely .
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532,572 | 70,535 | 76,106 | 5 |
War vet runs ' shine , races cars
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A little different sort of comedy for Pryor ; not as raucous and vulgar . In fact , the last half was more of a drama than a comedy . Pretty much run of the mill biography of some racer I've never heard of ; lots of fun car racing scenes - many of them the real thing . When the film ended I had to wonder if every southern racecar driver is a redneck racist idiot or if the picture overdid it just a tad .
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532,424 | 70,535 | 108,559 | 5 |
Adventure plot # 1 -
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Not a bad production [ but certainly , not good ] , and the scenery was splendid , but this was a re-make of a tired old storyline . A group of teens [ a couple of which looked 25 or so ] head for the mountains for a several days long trek . Naturally things go awry as a terrible tragedy befalls the group . As the gallant crew struggles to overcome their sticky situation , they are hindered by rugged terrain , wild critters , and raging rivers . The only bright spot for them was a mysterious white wolf who appeared when things got really desperate . The mutt didn't really do anything , just hung around lending wolfly moral support , I suppose . Many of the action sequences were choppy , unrealistic formula stuff no different than any other in this genre . The younger set should be able to overlook this and thoroughly enjoy the picture . . . I couldn't .
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532,607 | 70,535 | 91,458 | 5 |
Im'a gonna rub'a dis punk'a out'a
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This film proves it : mobsters make lousy family men . A sluggish look at a tyrannical mafia leader and the deadly effect his " business " has on his dysfunctional family . Like all these ' life story ' pictures the story is way too sketchy and rushes along barely skimming the surface of these folks tragic lives . Good acting but still a tepid Godfather wannabe minus all the flaming tommyguns , and overloaded with hysterical , unhappy screaming . The book was much more detailed and interesting .
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532,530 | 70,535 | 58,997 | 5 |
American child goes missing in Great Britain
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Tedious tale of a police investigation into the disappearance of a little girl from a day care center . The cops are unable to decide who has taken the child or even if one exists . The ending made the entire film pointless . Typical dull British fare .
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532,617 | 70,535 | 91,472 | 5 |
Had more holes than the Titanic
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Totally unbelievable story about a pair of kids who penetrate a highly classified , super secret government bomb making lab . There were so many flaws in this thing that I never could get interested in it . The dialogue , which was supposed to be tense , was just corny beyond belief . No drama either , I don't know , maybe it was a comedy , eh ? Loser film .
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533,410 | 70,535 | 63,350 | 5 |
Another " masterpiece " from the master of independent film making
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Who cares if this is a classic ? It is still a badly done , silly assed zombie dungheap . We see the walking dead breaking into a house , eating crispie critters out of a truck , breaking into a house , chowing down on more flesh and on and on . . . . The director couldn't even make up his mind from shot to shot whether it was dark or light outside . But , remember , none of this matters because we are talking independent film here , not the big money boys and their junky mainstream crap . And we are also bowing down to George Romero { who ? } , the master of no budget , I mean independent film making . But , hey , if this floats your canoe . . . . go for it .
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533,381 | 70,535 | 95,304 | 5 |
This one didn't raise my spirits much
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Another in a long line of ghostly comedies which does little to frighten , and even less to amuse . Getting to eyeball Miss Hannah and the breathy Jen Tilley was a treat , but not enough of one to recommend this dismal film . I wonder if Jennifer will ever make a decent picture . . . but what a sweet , panting voice she has .
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532,659 | 70,535 | 97,503 | 5 |
bland and unexciting
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Besides being pretty dull , I don't see how any of this could have happened . No way could this lunkhead hole up in the attic without being found out on day one . Why didn't someone notice the wall with a door in it ? Three windows were showing from the outside and only 2 inside . Doesn't that give somebody a clue ? The wall was such an obvious add-on that a ten year old could have spotted it . What a dumb film .
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533,056 | 70,535 | 97,500 | 5 |
I coulda been watching the IFC channel
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Occasionally amusing but for the most part I just sat there and watched these folks go through their paces . This was merely one of those pictures created to fill up a film reel and make a nice payday for a big name actor . A pointless exercise in tedium .
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532,952 | 70,535 | 60,708 | 5 |
A little too silly for me
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Modesty , a contract spy / hitman , hires out to the British ; her job is finding several million dollars worth of diamonds . Her problem in succeeding is a psychotic billionaire and his lackeys . Miss Blaise and her partner , a stud with a penchant for cutlery , get in and out of a dozen tight spots , finally having a showdown with the bad guys on a lonely island . The picture was supposed to be a comedy , but the jokes fell flat for me . Must have been the Brit sense of humor , eh wot ? Not a terrible show , just mundane .
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532,934 | 70,535 | 96,171 | 5 |
Summer of ' 42 revisited . . . . and not done any better
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When a middle aged man receives word that an old friend has died , he begins remembering his youth in a series of flashbacks . When not involved with his remembrances he is trying to figure out how to dispose of the friend's ashes as per her wishes stated in her will . This must have been a ladies movie ; I found it totally droll , tepid , dull , and ridiculously unbelievable in many parts . This film is proof positive that one can't really be killed by boredom .
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532,570 | 70,535 | 113,280 | 5 |
Chubby short order cook checks out teen waitress
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Not exactly a boring film but close . All the characters were just the most pathetic losers imaginable . . . . especially the obese pizza slinger . Those jittery , wet eyes gave me the creeps ; not to mention his mother dominated , go nowhere , do nothing , I have a need but don't know what it is and couldn't fulfill it if I did , screwball existence . Yes , he was a sad character , but mainly he aggravated the living hell out of me with his mopey , dragass , poor pitiful me attitude . I don't mind a way too slow movie but this one went nowhere having no apparent beginning , middle or end . Strange picture .
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532,598 | 70,535 | 22,353 | 5 |
German u-boat plays cat and mouse with allied gunboat in WW1
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Rarely have I seen such stilted , hammy , and just plain bad acting . There didn't appear to be a professional performer in the whole picture . And the dialogue ! Gad ! The skipper of the allied vessel came off more like a cheerleader than a leader of men . I still enjoyed the film ; even with all the cornball humor from the brainless naval crew . If their collective brains could be rendered into gasoline , there wouldn't be enough to run a termite's chainsaw . Fairly good action yarn for such an old picture .
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533,302 | 70,535 | 80,754 | 5 |
Greedy , big money oil interests rule
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After a fellow employee is murdered , a police detective uncovers a plot by a large oil firm attempting a shady deal . Not a good film , it bogs down too often in it's own complexity . Lots of cloak and dagger double dealing for those who like mystery agents and government / big money conspiracy plans .
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533,104 | 70,535 | 109,402 | 5 |
At least it was aptly named . . . it offered little else
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Why is Hollywood still turning out these films ? Absolutely nothing new in this noisy kaleidoscope of speeding cars , exploding trucks and choppers , and swearing policemen . The gags would have proven funny 30 years ago , but are old hat today . I did like the frozen cadaver sequence , however . The ending of this picture was pat and predictable ; good entertainment for pre-teens or the partially brain dead .
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533,346 | 70,535 | 57,083 | 5 |
BIG E bops , bounces , bags babes , and bores
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Another in a long line of dull films from THE BIG E . This time he goes south of the border to sunny Acupulco to play a lounge lizard who also proves his manhood by high diving and taking crap from nobody , particularly a loud mouth who feels THE BIG E is a threat to his position as head stud of the area . Plenty of stupid song and dance routines , love scenes between The King and some lovely ladies , and the requisite scene in which THE BIG E pours a burrito shell full of refried whup-ass on a rival and makes the boy like it . Same old plot , same old ending , same old , same old , same old . . . . . .
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532,566 | 70,535 | 199,753 | 5 |
Another harrowing yawn space rescue
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Here we go again with the Lost in Space routine . Once again the viewer is saddled with the female commander { this one is being beaten to death } who refers to her subordinates as ' boys ' . This sexism would have created some bitchy dialogue had the roles been reversed . There was simply nothing new offered with this , instead we get the same old " are they gonna be saved ? " space junk . I did like AMEE . . . . could use that baby at home to protect my comp and big screen .
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532,568 | 70,535 | 160,127 | 5 |
Matrix chix
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This rubbish should be given a paper medal for going way , way above and beyond the call of stupidity . I never watched the original series on TV and after viewing this drivel I feel fortunate indeed . What was the point of filming this piffle which could have been titled " Charlie's Airheads " ? I figure it was made to sell to little teeny bopper girls who have bought into the " women really are strong and bad " myth . And these ladies were " bad " : but sometimes bad is bad . My fave scene was when one of the airheads , sorry , Angels , fell several stories from a building , rolled several hundred feet down a mountain - naked , no less - and made a phone call . All with no scratches . Avoid .
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533,355 | 70,535 | 89,543 | 5 |
Goofy CIA caper
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When 2 secret government agencies go at each other an innocent young man becomes involved simply over his footwear . This led to his being assaulted by 4 inept hit men , used by a female spy after he falls in love with her , and having his whole life turned inside out . Ok , but not one of Hank's better films .
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532,548 | 70,535 | 32,145 | 5 |
Good love done gone bad
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Love bloomed between Heathcliff and Cathy until Cathy grew up and came to realize money , class , and station in life meant more than a pure , undying love from the heart . I couldn't agree more , but the lady wound up finding out that there was more to Heathcliff than a downtrodden , unwashed stable hand . Dreadfully slow with large , unexplained gaps in the story , but it did have nice costumes and settings . I liked the ' 70 version better ; it had a grayer , moodier atmosphere .
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533,564 | 70,535 | 58,659 | 5 |
Now I know where Elvis got the jumpsuit idea
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Four scientists go forward in time to a future populated by a group of folks dressed in jumpsuits and house shoes , the last of the human race . The climate will no longer sustain them and they must vacate to another planet and , of course , can't take the scientists who must then figure out how to go back after losing their time portal . The beginning and end were fairly good , but the middle was bogged down with dull workshop scenes and goofy comedy . The 1964 props looked a tad silly .
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533,331 | 70,535 | 70,047 | 5 |
bland look at demonic possession
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A little girl becomes possessed by demons . Her mother becomes upset and calls in a group of Catholic ghostbusters . The little girl talks funny , levitates , and makes ugly faces . The priests bust the ghost and all live happily ever after . What a droll film . yawn
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532,490 | 70,535 | 113,271 | 5 |
Dismal attempt at spook show
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This was worse than a Harlequin romance novel : the only good part was the old castle and the surrounding landscape . Hammy , overdone rehash of every 2 bit ghostly / old manse film that's ever been done . It provided rain , lightning , dim corridors , haunting music , candles blowing out , spectral beings , and on and on and on all the way to the ' creepy ' finale . Valerie should have stayed home and let Eddie bring home the bacon .
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533,476 | 70,535 | 70,125 | 5 |
The gospels according to Johnny
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Simplistic look at the coming of the Messiah put to song and music by Cash , Carter , and Kristofferson . I liked the use of the original area in the Mideast for filming but couldn't they have found a more Jewish looking man to portray Christ ? Near the end of the picture the cross scene leapt from Calvary to a modern city which was a nice touch depicting Christ's message moving through time giving all a chance at salvation . Obviously not a large budget production : unknown actors , very few money changers to be run off in the temple and even fewer wares to be thrown around , and hardly anyone showed up for the crucifixion . Even so Cash did manage to put forth the promise of salvation through Christ in an easily comprehensible manner .
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533,514 | 70,535 | 91,750 | 5 |
Bland murder mystery
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Mason takes on another seemingly hopeless case when a man murders a talk show host on television in front of 40 million viewers . The blanks he thought he was firing [ the recoil from the . 357 magnum should have told him the round was live ] had been replaced by a nefarious felon intent on making him the patsy . As usual , Perry puts his brilliant deductive powers into play and solves another sticky crime . I like the films with William Moses playing Mason's detective more than the ones with Katt . Moses is a more believable performer .
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532,758 | 70,535 | 85,154 | 5 |
rah rah rah blah blah blah
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While this wasn't a throwaway it didn't garner any extra points with me either . Most of the characters aggravated me to no end ; the little girls who were ' in love ' , the jock who impregnates his girlfriend [ read : slut ] and then blathers ' it is what I really want ' [ this pea brain has no clue to what he ' wants ' ] , the stupid townies who go ape over their team getting the big win , and the typical ' coach ' [ read : sadistic dumbass ] whose sole objective is winning , winning , winning . Yeah , it all came together in the end but how hokey can you get ?
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532,797 | 70,535 | 190,865 | 5 |
It put me horizontal . Yawn
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Standard connect the dots action / adventure yarn with an abundance of thrills , spills , and chills . Unfortunately , it registered 10 on the Richter scale of hammy acting , dipsy dialogue , and toilet paper thin plot . Hell , I was actually happy to watch some of the mountaineers go sailing over the edge , they were so obnoxious . Even with all the excitement , this was just plain dull .
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532,760 | 70,535 | 35,664 | 5 |
At least it wasn't as bad as some I've seen
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This may not have been as bad as I expected , but it was close . Some may like it but for my money this slop plays strictly for the unsophisticated 40's mentality . Several of the actors were overweight , obviously out of shape grandfatherly types clearly way too old for combat , some of the scenes were obviously painted , and like all these old war films the viewer is subjected to the " comical " soldier in the unit . Just another flag waving , duty first , die for the good old USA thinly disguised propaganda piece designed to brainwash the stupes at home into believing their loved ones on the front lines are being maimed and killed in a " good " war for a " real " reason .
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533,277 | 70,535 | 74,608 | 5 |
2 groups attempt robbing the same bank
|
A pair of inept vaudevillians team up with a liberal newswoman to rob a bank . Her reasons were for the furtherance of mankind . At the same time a notorious thief and his gang are plotting the same job . The reason he uses is simple revenge . This was pretty banal stuff , but was fairly entertaining and had a ridiculously funny ending .
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533,042 | 70,535 | 107,090 | 5 |
Can't trust the cops or the media
|
Not bad but another re-run of bad cop / harried citizen . Things were simply too pat for me even though it was fairly well done . I did appreciate the surprise at the end , but not so much the ending itself . I still find Matlin's voice totally irritating .
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533,098 | 70,535 | 60,453 | 5 |
What was the attraction with this breeding sow ?
|
Oh so British comedy showing unfulfilled Georgy romping through ruddy London waxing from giddy smiles to sniveling tears when her status as a non-mommy hits her . Why 2 men went all ga-ga over this baby crazy sweat hog goes beyond me , but thrilled they were . I loved the look on Mason's face in the final frame as the realization that he'd taken on more than bargained for came crashing into his horny little brain . Good picture .
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533,289 | 70,535 | 50,903 | 5 |
I began to wonder where the river came in
|
When a married woman's old lover comes back into her life things began to go to hell for her and hubby . The old flame had a suitcase full of wrongfully gained capital that he wanted the pair to help him smuggle south of the border , therefore an uneasy alliance was formed and a dangerous trek through the badlands was undertaken . I felt that Milland's character's actions at the end were way out of character : and just how is it that Quinn's character managed to bite those slugs out of the cases ? Ever try that ? The teeth will go first every time . Fairly entertaining but way too much sluggish dialogue .
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533,111 | 70,535 | 212,720 | 5 |
E . T . with different initials
|
Fairly interesting yarn with lots of nifty graphics , sights , and sounds . This is not the type of film I usually go for , but the story was solid , the performances strong , and the finale well done . I liked the way the producers turned a tale of ' machinery ' into a love story .
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532,504 | 70,535 | 57,129 | 5 |
Good spook scenes , but the film was too slow
|
I enjoyed this production , the old house was impressive and creepy . The scenes with the hammering sounds and the moanings and whispering was very effective . I felt that overall the picture could have been more lively ; the dialogue was way too slow in parts . Worth seeing though .
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532,750 | 70,535 | 260,866 | 5 |
One word is about all this deserves
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A decent enough shoot-em-up but it has been done already . The acting was fine , the dialogue was okay , I even enjoyed the movie ; obviously it was not a low budget throwaway . However , I knew from the opening sequence pretty much what was going to happen and how it would turn out . Rainy day fare only .
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532,776 | 70,535 | 120,211 | 5 |
Tramp teases Texan ; manipulates mutt for money ; learns lasting lessons on love
|
Passable film concerning a cynical woman who dreams of true love while fleecing hand picked lovers . Mistaken identity leads her on a path of discovery , learning there's more to life than money and things . Real fiction , not real life .
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