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I almost relapsed today, but I’m going to be 2 weeks sh free in 2 hours
|
I kept on having panic attacks today, every single time I imagined going home and hitting styro. I wanted to do it so badly, but I stayed out of my house with friends and was able to somewhat distract myself. Afterwards I almost went to the store to buy a better blade to cut myself with, but right before I turned to the store, I stopped myself and thought, “What am I doing?”, then drove home. When I got home I was shaking so badly and I couldn’t stop thinking about cutting, I felt like crying, but I didn’t. Instead I managed to ask myself what was wrong and talk myself out of my irrational spiral a bit. Then I made myself tea and ate some oatmeal and peanut butter. I still feel like crying and there’s still a part of me that wants to cut, but I haven’t and I’m not going to tonight. I think I’d really like to reach that 2 week mark.
In 2 hours I will have been 2 weeks clean, which I haven’t been since August. I don’t think I’ve even made it a week clean since August. I’m trying really hard, every day is a struggle and not a day goes by where I don’t seriously consider it.
I’m trying to be proud of myself, but sometimes when I think about it, I just want to curl up into myself. Not self-harming seems like such a baseline thing, and yet I can’t reach it; it makes me sad I can’t reach such a low bar. But reaching that baseline is something I’m trying to applaud myself for. It feels like I don’t deserve the praise, but I’m trying to convince myself I do. It’s really hard, but I’m trying.
I’m really hopeful I’ll be able to reach a month though! I’d really love to reach that goal, so I need to keep being strong! I can do this! I really want to do this! I’ll try my best and I will do it!
| 28 |
Help me
|
Anyone from the uk please help me.
If i told my gp i can’t stop cutting myself what will happen?
I want to kill myself. I can’t control it anymore. Whenever I’m upset I just need to do it. I day dream about ways I could do it. I’ll walk by a bridge and think ‘that’s a good hight’ or ‘I could just overdose or slit my wrists’. Recently I wanted to hang myself.
I don’t know what to do.
I fell like I need help or I’ll die but I don’t want to go into a mental facility. If I have to I will but I’m scared. My family has me convinced they’ll ‘drug me up until I’m foaming at the mouth’. Lovely words from my mother.
I really don’t have anyone to talk to.
Please help! This is my last resort. Should I just be honest with my gp.
Thanks in advance.
| 7 |
I don't miss it 24/7 anymore
|
I started self harming when I was 11. Since then, the longest I have been clean is 6 months when I was 13.
Soon I will be four months clean. I'm so proud of myself. After all I've been through, I'm finally getting back on my feet. I've found I'm not getting urges much anymore, and when I do, they're easier to deal with. I know I may not feel this stable forever, and that's okay, I'm just glad I'm feeling stable at all.
Next month I also plan to buy myself a cake to celebrate one year since my most recent suicide attempt (#9). I can't believe I'm able to say that after everything that's happened the past two years.
I'm so happy I'm here. Things are shitty, my health is bad and I'm disabled, but I'm still truly happy I'm here. I'm so fucking happy to just be here with you today.
| 16 |
How to stop the evolution?
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So for the past two months, I've had bad anxiety/panic attacks. When I get them I scratch my face, arms, or chest until they bleed and I feel a release, and then I scratch more just to make sure I've gotten all the pain out / all the pleasure received. Now, sometimes I scratch because I want to or when I don't even notice it (in addition to the panic attacks). I'm on pristiq (50 mg) and seroquel (25 mg in the morning and 50 mg) at night. I know that those aren't high dosages. However, everything is evolving in the past two weeks. I'm doing this things in public now and with people watching. Within the past two weeks, I've thought of burning myself and scratching my name into my arm. I'm doing therapy, etc., but my question is this. How did y'all stop the evolution? If I can keep it to just scratching then I know that eventually I can make it all stop. But I'm worried about starting the burning?
| 7 |
911 call for help
|
So usually during my episodes when I scratch myself, there are people that restrain me. There’s only been one person to stop them with her voice, but that option isn’t always available for me. But sometimes people can’t restrain me, and last night they said they were gonna call 911 if I didn’t calm down soon. Because I was breaking their restraint too easily and I started slamming my body parts against the wall.. Luckily I did call down, so they didn’t call 911. But typically what happens if ambulance or police show up?
| 10 |
3 years. 3 fucking years.
|
Hi, my name is J. And it's been 3 years since I've last self-harmed. The relapse is strong, but shit, I never thought I'd get this freaking far. And to think my life would never go anywhere.
3 years ago: after spending 21 years on the island of Hawai'i, I just couldn't bare the thought anymore. So much came to me that i just couldn't fathom any longer.So I tried once more to make an attempt.
3 years later: I am here in Utah....my own place, going to college, and working at a facility where I mentor youth who deal with suicidal ideation and many other mental disorders.
My fucking goodness and do I love my job. And do the youth love me as their mother/father. It makes me want to tear up sometime. I lowkey want to go into detail about this whole shenanigan but I wouldn't even know where to freaking start....
3 years. 3 fucking years. Holy shit. And now it's even 3 years of me helping those who need it but are afraid to ask for it. I guess when I muster the courage I'll share something.
Know this, it's a struggle and you're going to fuck up and fall. But I encourage you to acknowledge those terrible moments and at least try. Trying is 1% of 100% which is better than 0%. I trust my phone to keep going even at 2%. And I believe the mf will be stronger at even 5%. Ha.
I'm not a great writer, so please excuse this mess. My writing is just as cluttered as the laundry I still haven't folded yet and put away.
| 41 |
I’m such a failure. I couldn’t even make it a day without hurting myself 🙁
| null | 23 |
Online Study Recruitment
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Researchers from the University of Guelph are looking for interested individuals who have a) previously self-harmed and b) had their self-harm discovered by someone who they would have preferred to keep it a secret from or were discovered at a time when they were not ready to disclose their self-harm. If you are at least 18 years old, are fluent in English, and have experienced an involuntary discovery of your self-harm, you may be eligible to participate in this study. For more information, please click on the link below:
https://uoguelph.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_9KYNRDc9OTlRBIi
https://preview.redd.it/zkte36hhcgr71.png?width=624&format=png&auto=webp&s=280a33b533f0e3cc165fb582d3a15d7a54677fc6
| 10 |
One day clean
|
This week has been hell. My significant other and I broke up, I got in a car accident, I've begun falling into my seasonal depression and ultimately ended up relapsing yesterday afternoon. But I'm officially a day clean. Doesn't seem like much. But maybe I'll get somewhere this time. I sure hope I do, because I hate this addiction with every fibre of my being.
| 16 |
A little story I wanna tell ya guys
|
Tldr: YOU MATTER AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT, THE MORE YOU FIGHT THIS ADDICTION THE MORE YOU HELP ME AND OTHERS STRIVE TO BE BETTER
Long story, but please read if you got time:
Idk if this is the 100% proper sub to say it but it does relate to my sh withdrawal.
185 days free from my pornography addiction and a following 76 on my no sh streak, no relapse for the former and one for the latter (so far).
It's like two demons tempting me, one for lustful pleasures and the other for self hatred and anger. Crazy huh.
So there was a time one of my friends came in with a Toga from BNHA pfp to online class and another with a complete hentai wallpaper (he was scolded to change it ofc)
I thought to myself, "heck I may consume it but I won't get that crazy" then boom, what I did in April not being able to control my urges, I over-sexualized someone I truly liked and damn that's where I realized I had to stop.
Ever since then, I kept a record of my sexual urges acting up; even made a story that I wanna write some day cause I kept track of how they all came to be from the girl I was lusting over (which really isn't her fault and I'm just screwed in the head) to life in withdrawal and making friends.
Speaking of which, I was scrolling through so many accounts since April that I were talking to, and from there, only a spare few either keeps constant contact with me or succeeded in their withdrawal (admittedly having a higher streak than me at that time when I was around 10-40 days free from porn and hentai) many of them have given up and have not responded, some guy even called out one of the biggest communities for it (r/nofap).
Point is, please, don't give up on me. It feels like fighting an enemy that wants you alive to manipulate you to their side, don't. I've lost so many people, even one guy giving into his mistresses; I can't take losing any of you either.
YOU MATTER AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT, THE MORE YOU FIGHT THIS ADDICTION THE MORE YOU HELP ME AND OTHERS STRIVE TO BE BETTER
| 8 |
How to stop doing this without therapy?
|
Ever since I was a child I have harmed myself to release frustration and sadness. I started with biting and hitting myself and progressed to cutting when I was in high school. I got into therapy and made a ton of progress and learned to cope and stopped self harming.
Now, over a decade later, I have begun biting and scratching myself again. It happens impulsively when I’m feeling hopeless or frustrated and I immediately feel guilty and regret it afterwards. I don’t have health insurance because I’m between jobs and can not afford mental healthcare at the moment so it’s up to me to figure out how to treat myself for the time being. I hate that I’m hurting myself when I should be loving my self. What are some ways that you guys cope and prevent yourself from self harming?
| 14 |
Some much self-hatred
|
I’ve relapsed. Like 3x in 72 hrs… I had a falling out with my therapist and have felt misunderstood. It’s like it has been my whole ducking life.
| 8 |
I punched myself.
|
I just had a discussion with my husband about my mental health.
I told him I felt triggered and I preferred to speak in another occasion and he kept making me questions.
At the end he said that I had kept the topic going although I said I was triggered which is not truth, I was just answering to what he was saying.
At the end it didn't have the outcome he wanted and said "I'll be here when you are ready to talk like and adult"
And I hit myself in the jaw so hard that my head hurts.
I can't stop crying and I want to slap myself on the face...
I feel very confused and I don't want to harm myself further, please somebody speak to me...
I don't want to beat myself up
| 23 |
Been clean for 25 days, feels unreal
|
No matter what I tried I couldn’t stop, so I tried the most drastic thing I could do and isolated myself from the people I love for 2 weeks. Simple idea “if I’m 2 weeks clean then I can talk to the people I love again,” well…I had a few hiccups at first, but eventually I as able to do it. I would never do it again, I was more suicidal in those 2 weeks than I have been this entire year, but…it did work.
It’s still the only thing on my mind, but I feel proud for not acting on it. I honestly didn’t think I could do this.
| 13 |
I don't know why I try anymore.
|
So my friend(v) of roughly 5 years told her fiance(n) about my sh issues. I hadn't even been telling V about recent relapses. She didn't ask me first or anything. n and I are friends and have been for about a year(or were?) so it makes it so much worse. If it had just been someone I didn't know well and my name wasn't mentioned I wouldn't care. It's a huge breach of trust and V doesn't even seem to understand how much she betrayed me. There is no way I will ever be able to trust her again. When I told her that her response was "I only told n" But it doesn't matter who she told or how many people she told. It's not her secret to share. This isn't the first time I've trusted someone with this and they've turned around and told someone else my shitty ex did the same thing. I don't know why I keep trusting the wrong people. It's already so hard to trust people and to have it keep blowing up in my face is devastating. It's like everyone in my life keeps telling me to trust them and to communicate but as soon as I try they stab me in the back.
​
I'm seriously considering cutting them both out entirely. V, because of what she did and N because n is so close to v. I also can't see myself being friends with n now that she knows. The issue is the bulk of my friend group kinda revolves around them, so doing so would mean looking for new friends which is hard. I have no idea what I should do. maybe I'm just too fucked up to have friends? I don't know why people keep doing this. What am I doing wrong?
| 8 |
Ugh
|
I feel like I don’t deserve to get clean from this. Like I’m always going to be a mess and unable to be a normal person because I can’t escape this and even if I could I’d just find something else harmful to do. I mean at least Im not into drugs yet right? Idk how much longer I can do this lol I just wanna yeet off a cliff but I have memes to live for for now
I just don’t see the point in quitting, I feel awful every time I try to go clean and I can’t stop thinking about bl00d and razors. There’s no escape but death lol
| 12 |
Apps for tracking self-harm?
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Are there any apps/websites you can use to track how long you've stayed away from self-harm? I'm terrible at keeping track (especially in the past, I generally lost track after a few weeks).
| 8 |
I still get a lot of urges, but I’ve kept up this streak for so long ❤️ I won’t stop now
| null | 57 |
currently dealing with self harmer
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As the title says but a little bit of context here. So my friend’s hit me up last night telling me that she was harming herself. How am i supposed to respond about that? I feel ike i tried my best. I recommended her to alternate her urge to do it and do something else instead like squeeze her wrist with an ice cube or tear unused paper or go wild with loud music and dancing something like that. I did my best to comfort her. I offered myself to be a listener to her. Bu she keep telling me she cant. She needs the pain so that she can forget about what shes currently feeling or thinking. Suggest me something please.
Note. Sorry for my bad english. English is not my main languange.
| 6 |
Made it a week without cutting.
|
I'm feeling a bit better mentally. Yay, I guess? Anyway, I'm in a day program. I think it's helping? I have a week left, but I may ask for another week.
| 18 |
Trying to help my girlfriend recover from self harm
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My girlfriend is 22 and has been self harming for over 10 years and has been trying to recover. I've never been in this situation and have never self harmed I have no clue how to help. I'm worried I'm not doing enough to help her. I'm hoping someone has a story of a way their S/O helped/continues to help them with their recovery
| 13 |
Dr. Appt next week, does this seem sus to you? Or do you think the doctor will even care?
| null | 23 |
Help finding tattoo artist to cover scars
| null | 5 |
I want to take back control on my life!!
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I don't know if this is allowed but I struggle with extreme depression, and recently it's been hard for me to do "everyday" task and my mental has been spiraling to the point where I feel like an outcast and freak. I felt like no one understood my thoughts or lack of productivity until I was on this subreddit a couple of nights ago and there were people expressing the same issues as me. For the first time in months I felt seen and I had this urge to make a podcast episode talking about my issues lately and just wanting to get everything off my chest. I don't know if anyone wants to listen, but it was extremely therapeutic for me and I feel like this is my way of giving back. ❤❤
https://youtu.be/mfbxejbln20
| 7 |
Sigh
| null | 29 |
Is it normal to get bruises near wounds?
|
I don't really get bruises around the cut itself, but I would get a bruise a few cm, or about an inch or two away from the cut?
It happens on my thigh which I've cut for years and I'm scared I've created some sort of permanent damage. The skin is very damaged by now and I have probably at least 100 scars in one small area. Since the bruises are not literally around the wound, it seems a bit worrying that there's bleeding happening under the skin further away. The cuts aren't significantly deep either and it still happened.
I am 100% the bruises are caused by self harm somehow and now they are not from anything else, I just don't know what causes them. I never had this happen until recently, which is why I'm worried.
| 7 |
DAE
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Does anyone else get scared when they see their scars fading? I don’t want to relapse but when I look at them I feel like I’ll no longer be valid for how I’m still feeling. I feel like it’s only valid when I have fresh scars and cuts.
Edit: thank you for all the support. It’s helps to not feel so alone in how I’m feeling. does anyone have ideas for how they cope with it?
| 27 |
i relapsed bad
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ive started doing it most days
i had a big outburt in therapy after a month of none and a doctor being rude to me and i just spoke for 30 seconds then started screaming and hurting myself
after i calmed down enough to stop doing anything i heard the therapist say i could leave if i want so i did
​
i think my bipolar is medication resistant. ive tried many meds and only one seems to have worked, but when the dose was upped it didnt help. vast majority of meds ive tried just cause side effects. (i dont want medication suggestions, i cant get it, i dont have a doctor)
​
i only have my husband and he has not been supporting me as much as i feel i should. he only addresses outbursts, just gets mad about them. whether yelling or hitting or cutting.
i tried to talk to him about how badly i feel about my struggles with therapy and the doctor and he said im not trying hard enough
​
​
​
...
i just keep getting pushed closer and closer to ending it.
idk what to do anymore. normal treatment hasnt worked. i think i need a new approach.
no one has any ideas
| 2 |
i have a question about the definition of self harm
|
i often see the phrase "if you are doing it to hurt yourself, then it's self harm" which obviously makes a lot of sense but wouldn't the well-known "rubber band method" be a form of self harm too then? this would also mean that people who use this method to stay clean from self harm aren't actually clean right?
| 7 |
I relapsed. Again. This is how far I made it before I let myself down. Again.
| null | 17 |
how to know what layer i cut to?
|
i cut really deep last night and i wanna know what each layer looks like?
| 11 |
Is this self harm?
|
Im not sure if it’s just my overthinking, but I’ve realized that whenever I get emotional (like on the verge of tears) I tend to either pinch, scratch or dig my nails into my skin to make it stop. Or whenever I feel tired in class I’d pinch myself to wake up. I think I do it as a distraction but then again I don’t know if this is normal?
| 2 |
I feel like I'm on the brink of relapsing
|
I've been clean for about 15 months now but recently I've been getting strong urges. Idk why but I feel like I'm about to relapse, I can't stop thinking about SH I really don't want to but I feel like I have to
somebody please talk me out of it
| 5 |
Do ANY fat cuts need stitches?
|
I cut to some fat bubbles on a more shallow part of the body. Not very deep. Does it actually need stitches or am I Gucci?
| 7 |
What do I do about really weird cuts
|
warning: gross description of it
I think the only way I relieve any mental pain anymore is cutting myself or head banging. I’ve been using scissors and it leaves a flap of skin and today I did it significantly worse where I am concerned about healing.I don’t know how to get it to heal cause if’s like I literally cut it how you cut paper but a literal layer of skin is on top of the wound. I have washed it which hurt like the worst stinging ever ans put band aids on it where the bandage parts are lined across the cuts but what do I do? How is it gonna heal? I already have gross scars all over. Now this is like a literal open wound I’m forcing shut and looking at it makes me nauseous. If I go to the ER I would probably be admitted into a hospital again. I’m notsuicidal of have any concept of a plan but my self harm has been worse… I have a program I have to go to on top of school tomorrow.. idk what to do. I also have a huge bump on my head for hitting the back of my head on a wall for over an hour that hurts. I really need advice what to do… if I have to go to a hospital I’m failing my parents again. Even more
| 3 |
TLDR: Nasty Keloid Scar On My Forearm, Need Advice.
|
So About 4 Months Ago I Dismantled A Razor And Slashed My Self A Couple Times. Ive Had My Fair Share Of Deep Cuts That Scabbed Up And Is/Will Be Fading With Time, But This Was The First Incident Where The Wound Likely Shouldve Been Stitched At The Hospital. (My Dumbass Chose Not To Go)
Now Due To This Lapse In My Judgement, Im Left With A 3-4 Inch Long Puffy Raised Scar That Hasnt Made Any Progress In Healing.
Recently I've Tried Solutions Such As:
Acyrillic Paint That Matches My Skin Tone
Concealer
Foundation
Large Size Band-Aids (Not Fun)
Mederma
Silicone Gel
The Result Is Usually Hit Or Miss And Nothing 100% Covers The Redness In Every Spot. Its So Disgusting To Look At Sometimes, That Ive Even Considered A Medical Tattoo, Or Even A Skin Graft If It Doesnt Mean Wearing Hoodies Every Second Of The Day. Please Help Me Out Here, Anythings Worth A Try.
Edit: DM For Pic If Needed
| 3 |
Does this count?
|
I don’t directly harm myself with sharp objects or anything like that but I do go out of my way to do things that I know will cause me pain and discomfort, i.e. laying in the sun to long to get a sunburn or not eating for a long time to feel the stomach cramps, I stare at lights to feel the burn in my eyes. But does it count? Should I be concerned with myself? I also skin pick aggressively I came here instead of the self harm subreddit cause it didn’t seem like a healthy place for me to ask
| 10 |
someone please help, im so close to relapsing
|
its been 3 years clean and yet i want to relapse so badly, im only fifteen and ive fucked my life up :(
| 5 |
I need advice
|
I've never posted on here, or any subreddit for that matter, but something has happened and I have no idea how to deal with it.
TW: I talk about self harm, knives, blood, panic attacks, and relapse in this post
I'm 17 and just restarted my first year of college after fucking up my first year due to depression and an OCD relapse. My mum has struggled with depression and BPD her whole life, but only got the BPD diagnosis about 4 years ago after she was also diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I self harm (I'm getting the help I need, this post isn't about my self harm), and I do speak to my mum about it. I trust and love her a lot and she's a really brilliant mum. One of the reasons I'm so comfortable talking about my self harm with my mum is because she understands fully, as she used to do it herself. I can't remember the exact amount of time, but I know that my mum is at least 4 years clean.
I just had a panic attack and went into the kitchen to ask my mum for a hug. I sat at the table with her, and we had a chat about it. After rambling for a bit, I noticed a bloody knife on the table. I panicked, and asked her what she had done. She just apologised, said she was a terrible mum, and that she thought I had gone to bed. I assured her that she's *not* a terrible mum, I love her very much, and that I understand. She said that she hadn't been there for 4 years. She also showed me her arms, which were clean, but I'm certain that she self harmed.
I wasn't really sure what to do after that, so I made her promise she wouldn't do anything stupid if I went to bed (it was around midnight at this point), and she said that she wanted to be on her own anyway. I said goodnight, and left the kitchen.
I then went to my parents' room and woke my step-dad to tell him what happened. I emphasised that she wanted to be alone, but that I felt the need to tell someone (especially if that someone loves my mum very much and is an adult, my dad obviously fits this criteria). He thanked me for letting him know.
I went back to my room, sat at my desk, and cried. A lot. And now I'm writing this. To be honest, I'm not 100% sure what I need advice on. Was I right or wrong for telling my dad? Am I being dramatic? I know it's not my fault, but why do I feel guilty? What do I do next? Is there even anything I can do? Please help, I love my mum so much and I know her well enough that there's likely something drastically wrong for her to even *think* about self harming again. I can't lose her.
| 3 |
I don't know if I can keep fighting it
|
Almost 2 years self harm free, but I'm losing my reason why, I'm no longer caring about it and I am wondering why I'm still trying. I'm exhausted and I just want to stop fighting it.
| 5 |
I'm really proud of myself, even though I have no one to really share this with.
| null | 65 |
How to relief stress and emotions without sh
|
I haven’t self harmed in a while now, since June this year. I know my sh comes in cycles so I usually will end up coming back to it, however I really don’t want to this time. I’m 21f and feel that I need a different coping mechanism to sh because it’s not working so much anymore.
October through to December last year was a really tough time for me whereby I got back into sh and also progressed to taking overdoses which was something that I had never done. I messed up my body within those few months and had to stay in hospital a couple times to receive treatment for my OD. As a result, I told myself that I will never do that again and I’m trying to avoid drugs completely. I developed a slight addiction to codeine over that period which became hard to overcome, but I’m glad that I’m not doing that anymore.
No matter what I try to do, I always develop new self destructive behaviours and go back to my old ones. I feel like sh is the safest option out of the lot, but it’s still not great. I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied to avoid these behaviours and feel like I’ve become more anxious over the last three months, atm it’s getting worse. I’m not able to sleep much and want to be able to release my emotions and negative thoughts in a more positive way. Sorry for the long post and any advice/suggestions will be appreciated warmly. :)
| 10 |
Quitting self harm and dealing with guilt.
|
So, I know there are people on here that have it way worse than me,but I have SH in the past and I recently felt like it was beginning to spiral out of control (it was happening more often) so I told myself on 13th August I would quit and be clean for good.
I usually do it when I feel guilty about something I’ve done.
If it isn’t something I messed up recently then my head will take me back to how I’ve messed up with something or someone in the past.
In the past few days I felt intensely guilty again.
I was close to a relapse. It’s been less than a month and I don’t even SH that often.
The problem is I feel guilty ALL the time.
It’s always there in the back of my head.
I’m gonna try and stay clean for as long as I can,but for anyone that SH due to guilt or ever tried quitting in general what do you do or have tried to do?
I can’t afford a therapist.
| 5 |
Dreamt I relapsed
|
TW:
I'm trying to stop from SH only because I dont want to hurt my partner in that way. I dont want to hide my body or get anxiety everytime I change in front of them.
The past few days all I can think about is SH. I want to see the bl**d and the scab/scar after.
Its gotten so bad that last night I had a dream I relapsed on my wrist (which I dont SH on. Thigh only for me) . I also "made" my little sister SH on my bicep/shoulder (not really told her but she saw me and did it too)
I dont want to relapse but is there any tools or ways I can get the same satisfaction without actually doing it? I stole a red pen from work to see if that would satisfy me but when I got home the feeling faded. It was still there but putting red pen on my skin sounds dumb and like it wouldn't give me that satisfaction I'm looking for.
Has anyone found any tips and tricks to help suppress the urge? I dont want to do any type of SH. I have been plucking my arm hair out which I think if define as SH at this point and I want to stop that too honeslty but wanting too see bl**d has gotten into my dreams and I dont like that...
Edit: I really only get urges when at work. When I'm home I smoke marijuana immediately so im in a haze all night. I also work with a saftey razor to remove paint from plastic which is part of my job so theres no getting around that
Edit: more about my job. I work in a factory behind a desk for 8 hours. By myself with my thoughts. I can listen to music but it can only drown out my thoughts so much
Any and all advice or comments are welcomed. Thank you.
P.s. I'm at work all day so if I dont reply to anyone dont worry ✌&❤
| 7 |
I'm Proud of Myself <3
| null | 30 |
i need help
|
i have so much going on, my parents are fighting, my dad lost his job, i think i have ocd and its bothered me my whole life, its only getting worse, i just started cutting again recently and im scared its infected right now. my thighs are just sore. the spots look normal and are healing it just aches. probably because im fixated on thinking about how my legs feel and it makes me think theres a problem. i clean them with rubbing alcohol i just dont know what id do if they were to actually be infected. would i know if they were infected?
i want to stop, and i need alternative things i can do. but i am scared that if i stop, there will be no chance of someone noticing my struggle and helping me. i keep it all hidden, but in the back of my mind i want one of my aunts or uncles or friends to notice and help me stop. i want someone to know the suffering that my mind puts me through. so im scared to stop because then its like theres no chance of getting help.
i dont know anymore. i just need someone to talk to
| 7 |
Recruiting for Non-Suicidal Self-Harm Study
|
Hi All – I’m a clinical research methods graduate student and looking for individuals to participate in a study investigating the reasons why young adults self-injure and if reasons for non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) are related to the severity of NSSI injuries. In this study, your participation will include filling out a questionnaire online. Participation is voluntary, and you must be between 18 and 26 years of age to participate. This questionnaire takes between 10 and 30 minutes on average to complete, though it may take over an hour for some. You will have the opportunity to enter into one of several $25 gift card lottery draws upon completion of the study. This study has been approved by Fordham University’s Institutional Review Board. Please click on the link below if you are interested in participating. Thank you for reading!
[**https://fordham.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_em4h94T0flzYOnY**](https://fordham.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_em4h94T0flzYOnY)
| 18 |
hOCD/OCD friends
|
i have harm OCD and although i’ve been clean for 4+ months i just can’t get the intrusive thoughts/images out of my head. i was just wondering if anyone else in the community has a similar experience or also has OCD with themes of self harm. OCD or not y’all aren’t alone and i am so proud of all of you guys who persist in spite of what you’re going through. stay safe :)
| 2 |
One week clean, but still want to cut
| null | 38 |
I wish it were a phase.
|
When I was a kid and people told me this was just a phase or I was just doing it for attention. Because that means that all of this would be over already. I am so tired of living in a nightmare. I wish I could just stop the way everyone wants me to.
​
I don't know how I am going to get out of this one. I really don't. I have absolutely no one to talk to. I had an anxiety attack at work a few weeks ago and when I mentioned it to my dad. he said "no you didn't your fine, normal people don't do that" I don't have any real friends, and the people I used to call my friends are busy dealing with someone else's issues. Their issues are real. Mine are all in my head. I don't know how to make them stop. 90% of the time I feel absolutely nothing and then the other 10% is just pain and loneliness. I've gone so much farther this time than I've ever gone. I've covered both my ankles and then some. I don't know if I can come back from this or if it's even worth the effort.
| 6 |
feeling like it wasn't bad enough
|
my third year anniversary for being clean is coming up, but my urges have been resurfacing for the past few weeks. i know i won't do it, but the thoughts are overwhelming and it's like my hand is being pulled to the places i used to self harm.
i don't have any scars, but part of me wishes i had some. i feel incredibly guilty about that, i know a lot of people struggle with having a constant reminder on them. i guess i feel like it wasn't as valid because i only drew blood one time?
i also have adhd so my motivations are often based on momentum (i.e. "i did [insert task] for x amount of minutes, might as well go for five more"). i feel like i'm only clean out of obligation, just because i've gotten this far. it's not for myself.
idk, just wanted to vent. any long-term advice would be very much appreciated.
| 16 |
It's been a wild road, but I have been clean for a month :)
| null | 36 |
Head hitting, idk how to stop it.
|
I’ve moved on from cutting to headhitting more again because it’s so easy and I don’t know wtf to do to stop it. I just did it for a while, the worst I’ve gotten afterwards was a nosebleed but never other concussion signs I think but I know I have to stop cause I know it’s dangerous but I don’t jnow how. Does anyone have advice?? I either use my hands or a hard object tor the wall when I hit my head so it’s like accessible anywhere. My parents don’t ask me anything they just turn the TV up so they don’t hear it or avoid me, so being with them to watch me isn’t an option I guess. When I’m suicidal I’ll do it trying to give myself a concussion so I do it for a while as hard as I can like earlier. Idk what to do. It’s way better than cutting in the sense of nobody else sees it after but I know it can cause issues so idk what I could do to make these urges stop.
| 9 |
probably the worst
|
I wasn't going to post, but then I thought what the hell why not. I think I just had my worst relapse ever and I've been struggling with sh for 8 years. I wasn't like what normally happens. It happened after a breakdown rather than at the peak of it. It's weird. I went a lot farther than I normally do as well. I think I've just genuinely stopped caring about anything and everything.>! Not the kind of stop caring where I'm writing notes and making a plan!<, but the type of not caring where I am content to just shut down and go on autopilot forever.
I can't get the people who call themselves my friends to talk to me. I can impress interviewers and still not get the job. I can't even get my fucking car fixed or go to therapy. What can I do? What's the point in facing the pain and everything else when I can just shut it off and fade away? Why should I care or put in any effort if it doesn't really change anything? I am just so fucking tired.
| 5 |
38 days self harm free
|
Now 61 days self harm free!!
| 21 |
After 3 months clean I got my first piercing! What do you guys think?
| null | 38 |
I know it doesn't look like much, but hey, I'm 14 days out of hospital and glad to be thinking a bit more clearly about where I want to be.
| null | 53 |
Treating Self-injury through Research Study
|
*Thank you to the moderators of* r/StopSelfHarm *for allowing me to post here!*
I am part of a team of researchers at New York State Psychiatric Institute/Columbia University who are currently recruiting participants for a research study looking at an investigational treatment for self-injury called transcranial direct current stimulation, or tDCS. tDCS is a non-invasive, well-tolerated form of brain stimulation that delivers a low current to a specific area of the brain using electrodes. Research has shown that tDCS can help reduce negative emotions and may help treat depression and other conditions.
We are seeking individuals between the ages of 18-65 who self-injure (through burning, cutting, or other means). Eligible participants should be staying/living within 60 minutes travel distance of Manhattan (New York, NY, USA) to participate. The study involves completing a baseline psychological assessment, questionnaires and twelve sessions of tDCS during six visits over two weeks. This is a double-blind trial, so you may be randomly assigned to receive an active or an inactive form of tDCS. All research procedures can be done from your own home–no in-person visits are required.
Three months of treatment visits with a psychiatrist for medication management will then be offered after AT NO COST to you. Compensation of $150 is provided for time and effort if you are eligible and complete all research procedures.
The researchers on this team have no conflicts of interest to declare. All study procedures have been approved by the Institutional Review Board for New York State Psychiatric Institute.
Some details about confidentiality and the use of your personal information:
\*If you consent to participate in this research, your personal information will be kept confidential and will not be released without your written permission except as described in this section or as required by law. Your name or other identifying information will not be made known if the results of this study are published for scientific purposes.\*
\*To make your personal research results not identifiable with you if they are used for publication in the scientific literature and presentation at scientific meetings, we will remove all your identifying information, including name and date of birth.\*
\*Questionnaire answers and data collected during the task may be used in future studies, and if shared with other investigators, information that identifies the scan, questionnaire responses, or task data with you will be removed beforehand. There is a potential risk of loss of confidentiality from such data sharing, but this is extremely low as only de-identified data from this study may be shared.\*
\*Clinical records, including your name and other personal identifying information, and research data will be kept in secure storage at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. Information in paper format will be kept in locked files. Electronic data will be protected by a firewall (programming that makes it virtually impossible to access the data from outside the New York State Psychiatric Institute) and by restricting access within the New York State Psychiatric Institute through use of a password known only to authorized personnel. If information is transmitted electronically, it will be encrypted so that your identifying information remains confidential\*
\*Records will be available to research staff, and to Federal, State, and Institutional regulatory personnel (who may review records as part of routine audits). Your information will also be available to other authorized individuals, including those at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. There are also legal advocacy organizations that have the authority under New York State law to have access to otherwise confidential subject records, although they cannot disclose this information without your consent.\*
If you are interested, please contact Ashley at 646-774-7529, or at [email protected]. More information is also available at https://tdcsresearch.wordpress.com/.
Thank you for your time!
| 3 |
I need coping mechanisms
|
I have relapsed again, and this time stronger than ever, I cut, punch, and scratch myself, but right now the most used one is cutting so please if y'all have any coping mechanisms please share them with me.
| 2 |
Participants needed* for an online survey study: ''Understanding the relationship between future thinking and suicide risk''
|
Hi Everyone - We are looking for adults (18 years or older) to complete a survey study that aims to enhance our understanding of the relationship between cognition and suicide risk.
For further information about the study and to take part, please click the link below: [https://suicideresearch.info/2021/07/19/future-thinking/](https://suicideresearch.info/2021/07/19/future-thinking/)
Or
This is a direct link to the study:
[https://research.sc/.../31D78FFB-8686-4B3E-8DE8-067AADDE96F8](https://research.sc/.../31D78FFB-8686-4B3E-8DE8-067AADDE96F8)
\*When clicked on you will be taken to a page and prompted for an ID. Here, you can type in anything you like (unless it's already in use).
Please, make sure your browser window covers the full screen rather than covering just half the window!
Could you complete the survey and share its details with your friends, family and networks, please?
Thanks so much!
| 1 |
relpased
|
hi so rectley ive been getting bullied alot and i started to cut again idk how to stop and all my friends ignore me
| 5 |
My latest oilpainting; one that was very personal to make and felt like a very healing moment to finish. Hope you guys can appreciate.
| null | 145 |
Need someone to talk to
|
I’ve posted on here before about a year ago. I relapsed after about 2 years last year and I’ve been on and off since. I just cut again quite badly after about 6 months and I’m just so alone.
I’ve cut and struggled since I was about 13 and I’m now 24. Tbh I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I’ve just finished university and I’ve moved cities, I have no one to talk to and I’m so beyond miserable I’m just worried for myself now.
Is there anyone on here to talk to?
I’m close to giving up in general
| 3 |
I JUST HIT 100 DAYS!!!
| null | 53 |
Have an urge rn
|
God it's so hard, I'm trying to cut on both my porn addiction and self harm and the demon of the latter gives a more attractive offer.
I do it cause if I gotta be honest, this might sound edgy but I'm like a demon tryna live life anew with people and leave behind his past.
I do it when I make a wrong move / hurt others some way some how (insults, physical accidents, etc.)
A little help? If not I wouldn't mind cause not alot go to this sub anyway. Thanks for reading I've prob relapsed my 30 day no sh streak when you're reading this
Edit: Don't even mind upvoting this post, I always gotta figure it out alone huh I haven't relapsed yet but prob will
| 14 |
100 days free from self harm
|
This is a huge accomplishment for me. In the last 6 years this is the longest I’ve gone without self harming. I finally feel like things are getting better.
I’m going to celebrate with a homemade dinner and an ice cream cake and just doing some basic self care that I don’t normally do.
| 41 |
Why is it still so hard?
|
I have been self-harm free for a bit over 5 and a half years. But I've been really anxious lately, and my brain goes straight to sh as a solution, because nothing else is as "good" at distracting me from anxiety. I know lots of tricks that can be great to calm me down when I am having anxiety attacks etc like name one thing you can see right now for every letter of the alphabet and stuff. But that doesn't help me at all during long periods of drawn-out almost constant anxiety. I might have mid-high anxiety levels for days and the more time that passes the more self harming seems like a good solution even though I know it's not. I am pretty sure some of it is caused by my antidepressants (because they only make me feel worse in several different ways) but I need to talk to my doctor again about switching them because she seems to be insistent on keeping me on them for whatever reason. But they make me so tired and so anxious all the time and I don't know what to do.
| 19 |
Concerned parent
|
Two nights ago was a charade ending in shouting, blood, and storm off.on an early flight.We tried to keep it together as the launch to college as a junior is a biggee. Own apartment on campus, reintegrating with students, not knowing Covid protocols or what is to come.
Then it happened. I confronted her. About the objects, bandaids. Stuff we had not talked about in about 5 years.
I was beside myself. It was still happening. I flipped. Depleted from other things too did not help. She left for states away one day early as a result. We have not spoken since. She is noe spending s few days with her Dad before school starts.
What is a mom to do? I cant hide the scars she inflicted the night before she left when she told me she no longer wanted to ever speak to me again (for reading her diary and validating the expensive clothing shoplifting that had just happened).
It is only a matter of time before another episode of hers occurs again - this time not under my roof. I am so depleted. I need a parent support group. She has ghosted me
| 6 |
I've discovered my 11 years old daughter is cutting herself
|
Hi! I've found out two days ago that my daughter is cutting herself. I'm terrified and so scared that she can hurt herself in worst ways. In addition, she has one week on a new school and she begun a friendship with a classmate who is self-harming too. I need some advice to keep her safe and know how to deal with this new friend.
​
Update: Yesterday (Aug 15th) we discovered that she has a "scar diary" where she writes her feelings and how many cuts she has. It's written as she was talking to someone and some entries are headed by Dear ig... I'm assuming that ig it's Instagram and that she has a secret channel. She writes that she's afraid that some injuries are disappearing. I'm shocked because she talks as this is a funny thing or some kind of competition. I really don't want to invade her space and make her feel overwhelmed, but I don't know what's the best thing to do right now.
| 37 |
2 mental break down's later, still can't sleep.
|
It's 5 am, I am having my second mental breakdown of the night and the hopeless feeling in my gut has started dragging me down again. one hour of a therapy session is 200$. that's half of my paycheck. How am I ever going to get help, or a diagnosis if it's so far out of my reach. Part of me wants to be hopeful because I may be getting accepted for an internship that pays 45k which would be really fucking nice. But then, I think, "why would they hire you?" I haven't even heard anything from most of the places I applied to, maybe I am not cut out for this like I thought.
I had really strong urges during breakdown 1. I managed to power through the worst of it. Though, even now I am acutely aware of where all my pencil sharpeners are. I should be proud of myself, this is the closest I've come to the edge without jumping off. But I am not. I am angry, frustrated, and I feel nauseous. I am supposed to work from 11 am-2:30 am tomorrow. A 16-hour shift and I can't even sleep. And that's my fault too. I should be able to sleep. I am physically and mentally exhausted so why can't I sleep?
I wish I could snap my fingers and make it all stop. just blink out of existence. I am not sure if I am going to be able to function tomorrow, but I have to right? it's my fault I can't sleep. I knew I had to work. But apparently, I can't even manage the basics.
I am very aware that this got off-topic, but I just don't know where else to post this. This subreddit is kind of my go-to for anything remotely SH-related.
| 10 |
how can i help someone with self-mutilation?
|
I know a person with self-mutilation and i want to help him but idk how to do it
| 22 |
It just seems like it would be fun
|
Started self harming again because of bad medication choices made by my shit doctor.
And now that the medication isn't making me worse...
I still want to cut.
I work 16 hour shifts and after hour 13 everyone who works in my area is gone home and I've run out of things to do and new scissors and bandaids are in the drawers next to me....
Also the real thing is, it just sounds fun. I'm bored and not smoking weed anymore and I want to feel something extreme besides anger.
| 6 |
GUYS IVE BEEN A HALF OF A YEAR FREE!
|
!!!
| 53 |
Self-care starts with self-talk 🙂 Join r/Live_Our_Best_Lives
| null | 30 |
First time in a while. Unsatisfying cut
|
So for the first time in a while, I cut again. I made a deal with my boyfriend: if he hurts himself, I hurt myself. I don't have a problem with this, not because I don't value myself (that's a whole other issue), but because I don't hate the pain. The problem is, I remembered something today: I want to cut sometimes because I like the satisfaction. That's why I'm writing this. Whenever I cut, I want them to be satisfying, and go until I get a "good one". If the cut didn't go smoothly enough, or didn't go deep enough, or didn't bleed enough, I'm unsatisfied and keep going until I am. And I want to know. Does anyone else feel like this?
I'm gonna write this in a few places so I can get some answers. Please, stay safe. I don't want someone to read this and think they should start doing it again. If you feel you need to hurt yourself, talk to a friend, call 211, call your therapist if you have one who takes emergency calls. Do what you can to work through your pain in a healthy way
| 15 |
Looking for help as I have realised I'm self harming - I can't stop biting myself, scratching myself with blunt objects and sometimes punching concrete walls.
|
I am new to this sub and new to the realisation that this is self harming behaviour.
Basically I have always had a bit of a temper/ gotten frustrated quickly. The temper is always directed at myself and my own perceived short comings. I do not loose my temper at others (the opposite actually) and have never been in a fight or even close to it.
Things that trigger self harming include clumsiness, technology not working, being bad at sport, being "dumb", traffic jams - the usual stuff and I am sure I'm small fry compared to some in here. I might stub my toe and then bite myself very hard causing bruising for example. I might leave my key in the flat and go down 16 floors and realise I have to return to the flat. I will scratch myself with the key drawing blood to "punish myself" for forgetting. The biggest worry/ problem is that I have a one year old son and I cannot stop this behaviour in front of him. I try my best but I can't. I am very logical and rational and then I go beyond a point and it seems rational and "good" to hurt myself. I have cuts/ bruises on myself constantly and they are noticed and I make excuses.
I have been doing this my whole life (I am 34). It happens about 4 times a week.
I want out. But I have no idea how to get help? What is the name of the professional I go to? I am open to therapy, to anything. I am willing to go the whole hog and do whatever I can for the sake of my wife and son. Also for the sake of myself, a dentist X ray on my jaw 5 years ago showed decay in my jaw bone due to biting myself so hard. I have anxiety and used to grind my teeth and excused that as the cause. My bone is slowly disintegrating and I still can't stop biting myself.
Every time I bite/ hurt myself I feel shame, regret and self loathing. I cannot break the cycle.
Thank you so much anyone that helps. I want this to be a turning point. I hope that even though this is not as severe as some self harmers I hope you will help me for the sake of my son.
ANY advice welcomed. I know nothing at the moment. Maybe you know the name of some treatment? I don't know anything.
**THANK YOU**
| 21 |
Happy I’ve made it to almost 4 months but the past 3 days I’ve been having (strong) urges which I haven’t had for the past 4 months. Worried I’m going to relapse
| null | 39 |
Finally feeling comfortable
|
My SH kind of started in 9/19 and I was pretty scared next summer how I would manage it. Mostly on summer camp, where I wore long sleeves all the time.
This year, despite recent relapse, I'm less self-conscious about the scars on my hands. Our relationship ( with SH ) is complicated, but I feel free.
| 8 |
TW self-harm
|
Damn.
Um well today was a not so good day and since I couldn't go to my room under some circumstances I went to my back yard filled with rage since I argued with my mom earlier that day. I was so mad and frustrated I didn't know what to do.
So. I took a rock and started sharpening it with the rough cement. I tried to cut myself with it but it was too dull. Can believe I did that.
| 4 |
I can never escape the identity of at least someone who used to self harm
|
It's been close to a year and a half since I last self harmed and I consider that an accomplishment but in the eyes of anyone else it doesn't really matter. I still have the scars. I have scars of cuts and burns both on my arms, legs and stomach permanently. Some of the scars are pretty bad and very obvious what they're from. I can't ever change that, no matter how long it's been I'm still visually a self-harmer. It might be 10 years and I'll still look like I just cut myself recently. These scars are permanent most of them.
I can never actually shed the label or identity no matter what. I take my shirt off or wear shorts at all and everyone whether they acknowledge it or not is thinking about the scars. I can't avoid it, ever. There's nothing that can ever reverse that and I'm stuck being a "cutter" until the day I die
| 31 |
My friend is cutting but it’s different… (*TW* self harm/brief mentions of drug use please don’t read if you’re fighting self-harm ❤️)
|
I have an online friend that I’ve know for almost a year now. She’s never displayed any indications of previous self-harming behavior and I’ve never seen any scars.
Most of the friends I grew up with would cut frequently so this type of self harm doesn’t freak me out. (Personally, I grew up in an abusive home so my self harm is different. I mostly used to beat myself up, to over simplify it.) Even though I never thought she was harming herself, I wouldn’t shrug it off because most people are gods at hiding it from their friends.
To start the story, this has only happened a couple times and she won’t go into detail or tell me exactly what she’s doing. I got a snap (picture) from her on Snapchat one night and it was her saying she was about to make a bad decision. I wasn’t super worried because it was sarcastic like but after I asked what she was gonna do she sent me another picture of her with a couple cuts on her face (no text, also the cuts were very very shallow practically scrapes) and she didn’t respond for a good hour. I was mostly really confused but she eventually texted me and told me she was lightheaded and felt like she was gonna pass out. At that point I just waited for her to text me again when she was feeling better and went on with the night.
The next time she did it, it pretty much went exactly the same way but I got her to explain it to me this time. She said when she does it she gets light headed and a really good feeling rushes over her body, sometimes she feels like she’s gonna pass out and sometimes she’s just really happy until it stops bleeding. I said “dude what is happening?“ She responded with “idk” I didn’t say anything for a couple minutes then I just said “-her name- are you getting high from cutting your face?” And she said “well when you put it like that…”
I never asked my friends growing up exactly what it felt like to cut, when I tried it I didn’t like it. Like I said, I’d just beat myself up. Is this “normal”?
I’ve lost family and some of my friends have lost their parents to drugs so when (in my head) I realized she was literally getting a high from it I felt pure rage rush over me. I know self harm is an addiction, but this kind? I don’t know what to do…not to sound like a bad friend but I also can’t just take what she said at face value. She might also just be doing it for attention and lying about the effects. Idk guys help me here. Please.
| 14 |
It's not much, but I'm feeling pretty proud
| null | 65 |
First time wearing a swimsuit in 2 years! Big day Ft my doggo
| null | 203 |
I possibly just gave myself a concussion
|
In a moment of weakness I hit my head and I don't really know how to describe it but it was like the vibrations were so loud it made me want to clench my teeth and just shook me for a few seconds. And now I have a horrid headache and I feel sick.
I wish it were easier to just not hurt myself. It's not worth it and I always immediately regret it.
| 19 |
Last call for help - [Academic] Research study on adverse childhood experiences, personality and suicide ideation (open to all demographics 18+)
|
Hi Everyone,
I'm hoping you guys might be able to help me with my research. I'm currently completing a thesis on the above and need a few more kind souls to complete my survey! It takes approx 10 mins.
There are some potentially triggering questions though so please do have a quick read of the statement when you first click on the link. And feel free to post your thoughts, opinions or questions below.
Much love and gratitude and I wish you all the best.
[https://federation.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_cGgA4cz6nrmLqXc](https://federation.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cGgA4cz6nrmLqXc)
| 6 |
Crying saved me again.
|
I had an extremely difficult night last night. After 2,5 years i prepared my razors and tissues and bandages. I disinfected everything. I had been crying for several hours and was so exhausted. I couldnt do it. I didn't have the strength. I was already so sad that i postponed this battle for some other day. Today i put everything away and am currently just trying to survive everything as it is. Without additional disappointments.
I hope everyone here sees tomorrow and the days after. We got this.
| 32 |
TW: what are some reasons to not self harm
|
I've posted this before elsewhere but I wanted some more answers.
I want to WANT to stop cutting and all I see online are cookie-cutter reasons why not to. Even at my worst I don't cut that deep at all. It barely bleeds usually. That's not to say I would encourage someone in my situation to cut or that it's not valid self harm, but I don't get why *I* specifically need to stop besides the age old "Mom would be sad". I just want to care about this problem of mine. If this is insensitive I'll delete it or mods feel free to.
| 9 |
year and a half clean 😁
|
keep going dudes we got this!
and a reminder that recovery is not linear, this is my longest clean streak and ive been self harming since 2013, it takes time so don't stress. lots of love xx
| 8 |
I really don't know when was the last time I've been clean for such a long time! TW: But it's really hard for me the last days and I'm really afraid of falling back again :/
| null | 17 |
Keep going.
|
I was 26 years old when I first started harming myself. I wanted to post here to tell you that I know we don’t want to wake up to a day where we feel depressed or even out of control. When I was younger, I’ll admit it, I had a stigma towards self harm. And then in that moment at twenty six, I really didn’t feel like I had control over anything in my life except indulging in my own types of self harm including punishing myself for putting myself in a loveless marriage or just punishing myself for existing. The last time I harmed myself was May 8, 2015. 2015 was a challenging but a huge year of growth. If this post is not allowed then delete but I wanted to say this. Please don’t give up. There really is light at the end of the tunnel because we are the light.
| 7 |
Does this count? Anyways, pls help if u can
|
Hello everyone,
I am asking for help with this situation:
I have met a young woman on the internet, she seems like a really nice person... unfortunately she is struggling with anorexia and a number of other mental health issues I cannot even begin to list in full.
She is 22 years old, she lives in the Ukraine. She currently weighs 22.5 kgs (=49.6 lbs), but she has told me that her weight was once as low as 17.8 kgs (=39.2 lbs). As recently as a couple of months ago, she weighed 19 kgs (=41.9 lbs). After that she was admitted to a hospital, where she was forced to gain the amount she weighs now and was dismissed from the hospital not too long ago. The best I can tell, she has struggled with anorexia for around 6 years now. She is tired of it. She tells me she is still attempting to lose weight, but while at one point she did it for the thinness itself, at this point she just wants herself to die trying. She values herself and her life as a negative (or at best a 0) to society. She repeatedly told me she isn't even worth the effort she puts into starving to death and that she never even could kill herself properly using this method as she "has no self-control". This is the only part of her messages i regard as a white lie, since she clearly has already arrived at life-threatening weights.
Her family either doesn't care for her or doesn't understand her problem, it is probably a combination of the two (she has told me both things), so she cannot turn to them. The best part of this horrible story is that she is not completely dismissive of seeking mental health support, though she has told me that she has a bad experience with the local psychologist of the small town she inhabits. She would probably require a bit of convincing to actually call/visit a professional. I have searched for ukrainian mental health hotlines she could call, but the best I could tell, all of them are either reserved for the veterans of the war in eastern Ukraine or not toll-free (she is from a poor background, she has just enough money to support herself, or maybe not even that much. She tells me she hasn't got any money on her phone for calls). I haven't asked but she probably does not speak English, only Russian and Ukrainian, I am communicating with her through an online translation site, most of the time, the message comes across.
What can I do now?
If you can, please leave advice in the comments (or message me, that's fine too). Feel free to ask for more details if you think it helps. Any offers of help are greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your time.
| 2 |
How to talk about self harm and why you shoudnt be ashamed 💞
| null | 26 |
I'll make it back to where I was 💪
| null | 47 |
I need accountability to stop my self harm.
|
To make my story short, I have a similar backstory to everyone else for self harm. Depressed as a child with family issues and dating issues, then started emotionally harming myself to start to feel something. I never liked pain so I never actually physically harmed myself, but emotionally hurt myself. I spend so much of my life crying and feeling alone. I even would put fake guns up to my head just to see what it would feel like to have a real gun pushed up to my head. As I got older of course I was never good at talking with girls so I developed a strong sexual dysfunction and hate for myself and my body. Later I find out about 2 years ago I had ADHD which probably caused a lot of my emotional struggles and explained why I could never focus in school. Since then I've been medicated and have gone to graduate school, but I still struggle every day with my past. Whenever I get stressed out or cant handle my emotions or especially when my medication wears off I can feel these self harm feelings come back to sexually self harm myself.
When I say sexually self harm I usually download some gay app and post naked pictures of my body and try to meetup with them (Usually don't because I just want to manipulate them for the dopamine rush). I have met up once with a guy and afterwards I felt used and depressed even more, which then makes me spiral into more sexual self harm. I was always hated my body, especially my penis size, which is why I always try and meet up with someone with a huge penis... I went to my doctor and told her about my encounter and I almost started crying in the room. I hate that I do this to myself and I want to stop. After I post pictures of myself I delete the app and then spend the next day or two in isolation in my home because I feel so ashamed of myself. I used to be very addicted to porn, and I finally stopped but now I am addicted to this, it is much more of a rush that porn ever could be.
I'm trying to get rid of my smartphone and downgrade all my technology in order to get rid of the things that make the self harm accessible. But I wanted to post this because I just cant handle doing this to myself anymore. The porn addiction literally gave me erectile dysfunction and I couldnt even get hard with my now ex girlfriend. now that I'm off porn I can get hard again, but now my ADHD wants a new and worse addiction to keep the dopamine rush going.
I know that people will ask if I'm gay or bi or whatever. And I've considered it, but I know that I'm not. I've never wanted to date a man, and I think kissing or sex with a man is disgusting. I just always obsess over penises when I self harm with sexuality... I know its an addition to self harm because I literally cant help myself, i feel the urge when im stressed or depressed and I tell myself no over and over, but somehow i always just end up destroying myself again...
I always dream about marrying a beautiful girl one day but i just feel ashamed in that one day I might have to explain why I used to do this to myself. I have posted so many pictures that I feel like someone will try and blackmail me... I just want to stop not only hurting myself, but manipulating others to try and stop being depressed or stressed.
I'm posting this so that I can try and turn bad habbits into good ones, instead of self harm I want to exercise instead. I want this part of my life to be over, I cant do this anymore.
| 21 |
Self harm support
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I’ve been in recovery for about 7 years from cutting and burning, recent life events have pushed me to my edge. I’m trying to make it through this time and I’m looking for a bit of a support group of people who truly understand what it feels like. The urges have been overwhelming. I would be grateful to hear anyone’s story or possible words of encouragement at this time.
| 10 |
Repost - [Academic] Research study on adverse childhood experiences, personality and suicide ideation (open to all demographics 18+)
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Hi Everyone,
I'm hoping you guys might be able to help me with my research. I'm currently completing a thesis on the above and need a few more kind souls to complete my survey! It takes approx 10 mins.
There are some potentially triggering questions though so please do have a quick read of the statement when you first click on the link. And feel free to post your thoughts, opinions or questions below.
Much love and gratitude and I wish you all the best.
[https://federation.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_cGgA4cz6nrmLqXc](https://federation.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cGgA4cz6nrmLqXc)
| 6 |
Staving off a relapse through sheer embarrassment alone
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I tend to self-harm when I get frustrated or confused and need emotional release, and being on social media and seeing lots and lots of political discourse has a tendency to do that. My brain's just not good with it and takes that out on itself for being simultaneously too stupid to understand, and also a bad person for not easily understanding.
But yeah, I've managed to keep clean of anything that leaves a mark since early June. Problem is, I've been in self-isolation due to close contact with a positive rona case, which means I've been spending a lot more time obsessing over social media, and thus working myself into an emotional state. Today's the last day, and somehow I made it without cutting. Legit, I think the last couple days only the future awkwardness of having to explain to the summer students I'm working with why I'm wearing long sleeves to do labwork, or just trying to explain away day-old cuts, is what's stopped me.
| 19 |
Need help after best friends breakup
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I am posting this in several different Reddits so I can get as much advice as possible, so I’m sorry if you are seeing this more than once! And you are all so strong and brave!
My (25 F) best friend (25M) just broke up with his boyfriend (32M) at 4 this morning. Luckily my insomnia came in handy for once and I was available to take my best friends call. He FaceTimed me and has a history of cutting and showed me that he had cut himself again. I rushed to his apartment and luckily all of the cuts were superficial and not bleeding anymore. I don’t have his family’s phone numbers or any of his other friends phone numbers to ask them for help with the situation (and he was begging me not to tell anyone else). I don’t have work today so I can spend the day with him, but I am not sure what to do after that. He seems more level headed than when it first happened and is currently sleeping (where I can see him). Is there a facility I could call? Any type of service? Or is that too extreme? He will likely hate me if I call someone about it, but that is better than him hurting himself again or worse. We are in Austin, TX for reference. Thanks for any advice!
| 13 |
what is something that helps keep you from hurting yourself?
| null | 7 |
Mod-approved - Male Suicide Research (Men, 18+, based anywhere)
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Hi everyone,
With the permission of the moderators, I am posting this request.
My name is Susie Bennett, and I am a researcher at the University of Glasgow. Through my work I look to understand male suicide risk and recovery factors better. As some of you may know too well, male suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50 in Britain, and according to the Samaritan’s three-quarters of all suicides in 2018 were male. Having seen people I love experience these feelings, I wanted to build a greater understanding of what causes suicidal feelings and behaviours in men and what more can be done to help.
I have developed a survey to explore some of these issues. The survey takes 30 minutes to complete and covers topics including childhood experiences, self-esteem, connection with others and mental pain as well as suicidal feelings. Even if you have never had suicidal thoughts or feelings before, your answers would still give me valuable insights. The survey is open to all men 18 and over, located any where. The more men I can get to complete the survey, the stronger my analysis can be, so please do share this post and details with friends, family, colleagues, community groups, or drop me a message if you know a way I could help get it out to more people. Your support would be greatly appreciated.
Here is the survey link: [https://glasgow-research.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/males](https://glasgow-research.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/males)
Please do let me know if you have any questions and please do complete the survey if you feel moved to or share this post if appropriate.
Many thanks, everyone,
Susie
| 9 |
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