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darts through every link of the chain!--I must leave you--I own I am
somewhat flurried--and that confounded looby has perceived it. [Going.]
ABSOLUTE
Nay, but stay, Faulkland, and thank Mr. Acres for his good news.
FAULKLAND
Damn his news! [Exit.]
ABSOLUTE
Ha! ha! ha! poor Faulkland five minutes since--"nothing on earth could
give him a moment's uneasiness!"
ACRES
The gentleman wa'n't angry at my praising his mistress, was he?
ABSOLUTE
A little jealous, I believe, Bob.
ACRES
You don't say so? Ha! ha! jealous of me--that's a good joke.
ABSOLUTE
There's nothing strange in that, Bob; let me tell you, that sprightly
grace and insinuating manner of yours will do some mischief among the
girls here.
ACRES
Ah! you joke--ha! ha! mischief--ha! ha! but you know I am not my own
property, my dear Lydia has forestalled me. She could never abide me in
the country, because I used to dress so badly--but odds frogs and
tambours! I shan't take matters so here, now ancient madam has no voice
in it: I'll make my old clothes know who's master. I shall straightway
cashier the hunting-frock, and render my leather breeches incapable. My
hair has been in training some time.
ABSOLUTE
Indeed!
ACRES
Ay--and tho'ff the side curls are a little restive, my hind-part takes
it very kindly.
ABSOLUTE
Ah, you'll polish, I doubt not.
ACRES
Absolutely I propose so--then if I can find out this Ensign Beverley,
odds triggers and flints! I'll make him know the difference o't.
ABSOLUTE
Spoke like a man! But pray, Bob, I observe you have got an odd kind of
a new method of swearing----
ACRES
Ha! ha! you've taken notice of it--'tis genteel, isn't it!--I didn't
invent it myself though; but a commander in our militia, a great
scholar, I assure you, says that there is no meaning in the common
oaths, and that nothing but their antiquity makes them
respectable;--because, he says, the ancients would never stick to an
oath or two, but would say, by Jove! or by Bacchus! or by Mars! or by
Venus! or by Pallas, according to the sentiment: so that to swear with
propriety, says my little major, the oath should be an echo to the
sense; and this we call the _oath referential_, or _sentimental
swearing_--ha! ha! 'tis genteel, isn't it?
ABSOLUTE
Very genteel, and very new, indeed!--and I dare say will supplant all
other figures of imprecation.
ACRES
Ay, ay, the best terms will grow obsolete.--Damns have had their day.
[Re-enter FAG.]
FAG
Sir, there is a gentleman below desires to see you.--Shall I show him
into the parlour?
ABSOLUTE
Ay--you may.
ACRES
Well, I must be gone----
ABSOLUTE
Stay; who is it, Fag?
FAG
Your father, sir.
ABSOLUTE
You puppy, why didn't you show him up directly?
[Exit FAG.]
ACRES
You have business with Sir Anthony.--I expect a message from Mrs.
Malaprop at my lodgings. I have sent also to my dear friend Sir Lucius
O'Trigger. Adieu, Jack! we must meet at night, when you shall give me a