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Most of us have grown up afraid of giving someone else the evil eye so we have stricken
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this contraction from our repertoire and left a glaring omission in our ability to emote using
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our eyes The glare is a temporary and intense contraction of the squinting muscles Glaring is
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Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes
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considered dominant because you generally must be authoritative to get away with it Lets
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not use it to threaten people Use it very briefly to demonstrate concentration conviction or
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valor You might choose to do this exercise as well as the previous exercise in front of a mirror
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so that you can combine them with eye contact while monitoring your face
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Eye Exercise Relaxed Glaring
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Spend five minutes glaring as hard as you can while engaging in paced breathing Squint your
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eyes tightly so that the opening is tiny and you can barely see through your eyelashes Hold
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this contraction and try to keep it from wavering or trembling As you do so you might
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pretend that you are confidently leading a large group of people through a snowstorm or a
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sandstorm Holding a firm contraction in the part of the orbicularis oculi that contracts the
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eyelids will help you develop its strength and coordination Take a second break every few
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dozen seconds so that you dont push the muscles into persistent contraction
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When was in junior high school my Dad asked me Jared why do you always look timid
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and afraid in your yearbook pictures Try not to make that face anymore tiger At the time
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had no idea what he was talking about do now constantly raised my eyebrows and
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squinted but never frowned or glared so that would appear friendly Used briefly eyebrow
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raising can communicate curiosity and engagement but overused it without giving the
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muscles any rest It appeared affable in the short run but caused my face to become very tense
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and age rapidly in the long run Use a brief eyebrow raise as an olive branch but do not use
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extended eyebrow raises that go on for more than just a few seconds Those are white flags
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Look Upward
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The stress that overtook me at age caused me to lose the hair on my head rapidly Ashamed
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of my bald spots between the ages of and wore a hat seven days a week For years
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the brim of a baseball hat blocked the sky from my view training me not to cast my eyes
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upward My whole behavioral repertoire involved looking down Then when turned
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shaved my head and stopped wearing hats Suddenly became aware that had developed
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a behavioral blind spot for the entire space above me That revelation galvanized me to train
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myself to look up
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We have all learned to habitually cast our gaze downward We often do this to avoid eye
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contact all the while signaling submission disinterest or fear The vast majority of us do this
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customarily even when alone Most peoples nervous systems are so conditioned to looking
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down that they do it even when they dream How dismal
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Most of us have grown up in an environment that discourages us from looking up in the
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presence of others Other peoples reactions to our upward gaze have communicated to our
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unconscious brain systems that we should avoid looking up for fear of reprimand or reprisal
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The subject matter that makes a person glance at the floor is very telling and provides a
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window into their insecurities More than this looking down is neurologically tied to depression
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and anxiety through numerous brain pathways It is another habit that stifles our soul on a
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neurological level
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PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
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To overcome this we can do two things train our nervous system to look upward
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through practice and build the ocular muscles responsible for lifting the eyes The exercise
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below is a great way to determine whether the muscles responsible for looking up superior
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rectus have atrophied from disuse
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Eye Exercise Strengthening the Muscles that Allow You to Look Up
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Close your eyes and use your index fingers to press your upper eyelids and eyelashes down
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pinning them against the top of your cheeks Refrain from squinting Next look straight up
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for several seconds Then look up and to the left then up and to the right Keep at it for to
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seconds It will likely burn and feel uncomfortable in the muscles around your eyes If it
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does then you know they have atrophied and can be strengthened by repeating this
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exercise Simply repeating the exercise on five different days should vastly reduce any
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burning and help tone these muscles
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used to look at the floor unconditionally when speaking would look at the ground
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around my feet during most conversations Somehow didnt understand that this was a
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primary reason couldnt keep a conversation going Try to stop looking down when you talk to
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people People who are more severely affected can start looking at waist height then shoulder
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height and so on Work toward being able to keep your gaze up around the height of your
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head Once that starts to feel comfortable work on looking up during conversations above the
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shared eye line
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It is generally discourteous to look directly above another persons head so look off to one
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side As you look up during the conversation you might be concerned that the other person will
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become puzzled or suspicious of this If you are not accustomed to looking up are not used to
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breathing deeply when doing it or if your ocular muscles are weak the other person will likely be
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able to tell that it is unnatural for you Again the only way for it to look natural is for you to practice
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People look up for many different reasons With the head facing down it can be coy and
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suggestive With the head neutral or facing up it can communicate boredom Looking up when
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someone walks into a room can be interpreted as a sign of disdain or disregard This is why
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people roll their eyes Eye rolling is a nonverbal statement of superiority exclaiming That is
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beneath me You dont want to adopt an upward gaze with these as your motives Some
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people look up when they are thinking Others do it to recall something from memory Use
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these as motives Pretend that you are using the ceiling or sky as a canvas for your imagination
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to paint pictures of the topic of conversation Looking up appears natural to others when you
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use the upper visual field to imagine things in the minds eye Encourage others to do it
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with you
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Eye Exercise Looking Up While Talking
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Simulate a conversation or have an actual phone conversation while looking upward As you
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listen and speak make certain your gaze does not drop below your eye line Keep your eyes
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wide and your eyebrows relaxed Become aware of your tendency to look down Instead
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Chapter Hold a Steady Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes
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alternate between looking at things around the same level as your eyes and things that are
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higher than them
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There will be ample opportunities to practice during daily life When you are standing at
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the register ordering fast food look up at the menu on the wall calmly with wide eyes even if
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the cashier is looking directly at you Feel comfortable doing this while in line before you order
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or even after As you pass a stranger on the street feel comfortable looking up While you do
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so keep your head up too Gaze at the buildings signs telephone wires and clouds If you
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need to remind yourself that looking up is your right Your eyes are yours to use as you wish
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As an added benefit looking up naturally widens your eyes by engaging the levator palpebrae
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superioris muscles
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Eye Activity Take a Walk with Wide Eyes and an Upward Gaze
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Take a walk around your block with your eyes all the way open Try to look at the ground as
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little as possible Then walk around the block again this time without looking below the
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horizon Do it a third time now without looking below your eye line It may help to focus
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your gaze on roofs streetlights or treetops Finally try walking around the block with your
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nose high in the airthat will compete with and override your tendency to point it at the
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floor Notice how all of this feels especially in your face neck and shoulders See whether
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