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to be calm and confident on the job But my coworkers could tell from my breathing and facial
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tension that was accustomed to using inferior mannerisms They saw that was attempting to
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withhold submissive signals from them This made them angry caused them to dislike me and
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led to social rejection
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Submissive habits social reinforcement and accumulating tension continue to snowball
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once they start rolling By my late twenties couldnt even pretend to be calm around anyone
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knew Each new acquaintance immediately assumed from the way presented myself
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that was their underling constantly felt that people were condescending and dismissive
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Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training
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couldnt see it but it was my own fault People couldnt respect me because acted like
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didnt respect myself The condescension started to make me into a bitter resentful person
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Crucially the social dynamics at play are not about what you say but how you say it Its the
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nonverbal behaviors that matter If you saw a written transcript of my speech as a stressedout
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yearold you might think seemed chivalrous But if you saw a video you would
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immediately perceive me as fainthearted and jittery At the time thought that people
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mistakenly perceived my kindness as weakness Rather they perceived my shortness of breath
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my cowering posture and cringing expressions as weakness
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Submissiveness is not just a social phenomenon Once submissive actions become
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ingrained quirks the stress and heartache they promote will negatively affect your mental and
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physical health In my case the symptoms were extreme In addition to anxiety and depression
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showed other psychiatric symptoms of stress such as a disrupted attention span a working
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memory deficit and panic attacks developed medical complications related to stress
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including diagnoses such as esophageal achalasia dyshidrotic eczema male pattern balding
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low testosterone and outbreaks of cherry hemangiomas had back pain frozen shoulder
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tennis elbow coccydynia excessive cervical and lumbar lordosis forward head posture hip
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bursitis unequal leg length plantar fasciitis OsgoodSchlatter disease temporomandibular
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joint dysfunction and numerous other structural misalignments and asymmetries Medical
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professionals recognize each of these as linked to chronic stress
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Since developed the exercises in this book all those conditions disorders and symptoms
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have disappeared and none have returned Having had this experience and familiarizing myself
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with the vast body of scientific literature that relates stress to disease have concluded that
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submissive displays and the associated bodily tension are among the most pressing public
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health problems worldwide However it is not only preventable it is also entirely reversible
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Even if all environmental sources of stress disappeared from your life it would still be
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challenging to eliminate the lasting trauma already present in your body Once your breathing
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has become hurried and your muscles have developed knots it is very difficult to reverse this
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without employing the techniques in this book Healing yourself with the Program Peace
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exercises can feel uncomfortable To be free of trauma you must work with and through its
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physical manifestations Selfmassaging achy muscles overriding your shallow breathing style
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flexing your way into better posture and performing the various exercises within this book
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require resolve and determination The good news Even a little at a time adds up fast
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Chronic Use of Submissive Displays Leads to Deep Trauma
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We often maintain a specific submissive display for long stretches of time Many displays never
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abate For example some people spend their lives speaking in a voice that is much higher in
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pitch than is comfortable for them Everyone overuses displays like this allowing them to
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become fundamental components of their personality These are rarely considered because we
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are usually utterly unconscious of them and lose perspective on how destructive they can be
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Society has done little to recognize them so there is scant relevant scientific research
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Nevertheless they constitute bad form that when used habitually comes at a steep price
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As we will discuss in Chapter any muscle that is significantly contracted for more than a
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few minutes and thus deprived of rest will begin to take on damage Most submissive displays
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such as squinting or stooping the neck last for several minutes or even hours Even when it is
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PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
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unnoticeable strain accumulates At first you might only slightly raise your shoulders and your
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eyebrows Over time however knots develop in those muscles keeping them permanently
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raised The knots starve the muscle of blood and force it to atrophy This eventually makes the
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muscle achy weak and dormant leaving it perpetually fatigued and creating a source of
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chronic pain will build on this concept of strain accumulation in almost every chapter of this
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book as we work through techniques for undoing its effects on different body parts
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believe that developed each of the medical symptoms listed in the last section as either
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a direct or indirect consequence of submissive muscular strain that went on too long Muscles
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that are strained repetitively send continuous pain messages to the brains emotional centers
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Sounds bad right Consider that the predominant form of social breathing in humansshallow
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breathing in which the diaphragm is not utilizedincreases muscle tension throughout the
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body This dramatically compounds the strain and spreads it to the entire musculoskeletal
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system Below Table shows how prolonged use of the submissive displays listed in Figure
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strains muscles leading to unhealthy consequences
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Submissive Display Unhealthy Consequences of Strain
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Breathing short quick and Chronic nervousness respiratory distress wholebody
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shallow tension
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Eyes looking down Atrophy of the muscles that help you look up
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Minimized eye contact Eye contact triggers startle
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Eyes squinting Eyes tired with bags and dark circles
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Raised eyebrows Brow strained and wrinkled
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High voice Voice permanently high and hoarse
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Face tense and wincing Facial muscle strain and atrophy increased inflammation
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and facial fat
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Sneering muscles tense Permanent sneer burned into the face
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Jaw and chin tense Jaw and chin knotted and painful
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Head facing down Difficulty facing up
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Neck hunched Neck humped and deformed
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Gluteus limp hips tilted Weak core stiff lower back and hips
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forward
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Shoulders raised Shoulders permanently raised
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Abdominals either lax or Propensity for abdominal fat poor core stability
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tense
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Pelvic and Genital Tension Reduced libido and sexual dysfunction
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Spinal Tension Collapsed posture aches and pain
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High Heart Rate Cardiovascular problems
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Digestive Tension Gut pain and digestive problems
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Table Submissive Displays and the Unhealthy Consequences
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Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training
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As the exercises in later chapters will discuss the way to reinvigorate these bodily systems
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is to use them to their full extent By completely contracting the muscles involved you can pull
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them out of their partially contracted state and thus out of chronic fatigue and chronic pain
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The problem is that contracting these muscles when breathing shallowly risks pushing them
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into a cramp or spasm However contracting them while breathing deeply will restore their
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normal range of motion reinstate their proper blood supply and remove all manifestations of
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tension strain and trauma
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The Program Peace Method Replace Submissive Behaviors with Assertive Ones
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Subsets and Splits
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