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01,August,2004
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Just tweaking the site again tonight :-) I love new toys. Anyway, on topic. Not to badmouth anyone too badly, but the whole electronics industry has really annoyed me today. Shane left today to go be with his mom for a few days while she is having surgery, and so I knew I would be bored tonight. So of course, I called up Michael to see if he wanted to go to Blockbuster. We got our DVDs, and settled in on the couch to watch the wonderful urlLink Janeane Garofalo in ' urlLink Wet Hot American Summer .' Then I realized Shane hooked up all of our electronic stuff yesterday (DVD, VCR, Playstation, stereo, etc.), and once again, I had no idea how to work the controllers (there are 5 now, for those who are keeping count.). After an hour of playing with all the buttons, we gave up and Michael went home. When Shane called, he talked me through it and all was good. This would not have happened if the people who make these things would just get together and make all the interfacing and hooking together a simple process. Why does it have to be so damn complicated, that the cable has to run through the VCR and the DVD sound has to come from the stereo and not the TV and etc.? I'm not a stupid person, but let me see more than two controllers, wires, etc., and I would rather run screaming for the hills and all their backward no-frills living than attempt to figure it out. There has got to be a better way to get this stuff to work. If anyone out there can come up with an easy way to hook everything together, let me know, then go out and write a book or sell the product ... 10 percent of all your profits is all I want for giving you the idea ;-)
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01,August,2004
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First post. A lot of pressure for it to be a good one. The whole thing came about when I read an article about 'The Pulse' about some guy's segment called 'Who's Annoying Me Today.' Of course, I thought, this would be a wonderful forum for me to have, especially since those who know me know that I already tell everyone and their brother what I think and believe. That, and all this pent-up anger toward Bush and Ashcroft has to go somewhere. Kudos to the people who get the Web site address and where I got it from. I'll tell the rest of you slow people later.
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01,August,2004
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I see that no one has posted in a while, so I just wanted to say hi. I'm too mentally exhausted tonight to rant about working with old people, the Florida election fiasco etc. I did, however, want to let you know that there's been a documentary about the election called 'Unprecedented: The 2000 Presidential Election' released. It investigates the voter purging, etc. I want to get Brian in on this, too. I think he'd have a lot to add... -Shannon
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01,August,2004
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Something I recently posted on urlLink beliefnet in response to a bunch of people taking pot shots at atheists. It's a bit mean-spirited, but that's the anger coming out at what some of those posts were saying. I took a few liberties with it, since I really don't know what my brother and father think, but I'd like to think they believe the same as I. While I think that the urlLink Boy Scouts are being really silly about this whole thing, it's their right, unfortunately. However, I know that none of my money will ever go to them again. Nor will my sons ever be allowed to join such a group. It would be tantamount to allowing them to join the urlLink Nazi youth groups so prevalent in the 1930's. My father was a scout leader and my brother was a scout for years, and they are both ashamed of the recent 'values' of the Boy Scouts, including their views on homosexuality as well as atheists. But then, what do you expect from an organization that is funded by urlLink a bunch of hypocritical right-wing fundamentalists ? These 'christians' are no better than the Muslim extremists who blew up the towers for their beliefs. Any sort of extremist group that preaches intolerance, directly or indirectly, is a detriment to the society it exists in. And now, due to the BSA's current agenda, a group that used to do good things has earned the extremist label for themselves. Way to go. On another note: Jeffinthearmy says: 'If we keep giving in on these atheists telling us how to run our christian based clubs and programs, we might as well act just as though there really is no God.' I don't believe the atheists are telling you how to run your faith-based programs. Atheists are just against federal money going to those programs (ever hear of a little thing called separation of church and state?), as well as being having our national pledge include the words 'under God' when not everyone in this nation believes in a god. Do what you want with your programs, but don't expect my tax money to go to it, and don't force my children to say a pledge that is not true to all Americans (and it is forced in some classrooms, whether it is allowed or not) nor look at posters on their school walls that say 'In God We Trust' (such as the grand state of Virginia is now financing for all schools). We are just asking for equality, nothing more. 'It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.' - Calvin A post by another that I thought was relevant. cwgriesel 11/8/02 2:06:53 PM As to why only BSA is having this problem and not GSUSA. I don't think it has anything to do with men. In addition to Girl Scouts, the YMCA (M is for 'Men', C is for 'Christian', by the way) allows atheists and gays. So does Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Campfires and every other youth organization with national stature. BSA stands alone as a national youth program that rejects of gays and atheists. Who knows why? One tried and true technique is the old 'follow the money' game. Over 30% of BSA's funding and membership is from the LDS church. The largest participating groups after that are representatives of the Catholic and Methodist churches. -Mel
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01,August,2004
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Since my last post, Lott has stepped down ... mainly because the GOP doesn't want to offend black voters, if you ask me. He would have stayed forever if our lovely Virginia senators hadn't spoken up. On another note, isn't it fun watching the political game on CNN? Within hours of Lott stepping down, we have (Virginia senators) Allen and Warner both ingratiating themselves publicly with Frist (the candidate to take Lott's job). Warner, in particular, was amusing: 'Yeah, I was Frist's sounding board ... we're the best of friends ... *loud kissing sounds heard in the general vicinity of Frist's ass* ' The scramble begins. As for Frist, if what I hear is true and he's buddy-buddy with ole Bushie, that just makes me so happy. *sound of gun going off in the general vicinity of my temple* -Melissa
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01,August,2004
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From an article I read today: 'Trent Lott realizes he offended people with his remarks on segregation, but still can ably lead Senate Republicans, his incoming deputy said Saturday. 'Other GOP colleagues said Lotts apology should end the matter. This is a forgiving country, said Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, who becomes GOP whip in the new Congress in January. He knows he made a big mistake. Its time to forgive him and to move on. And I think he can still be a very effective majority leader in the Senate. Yeah ... that's right. The GOP wants us to forgive and forget this man's mistake. Funny how they change their tune when it's not Clinton on the stand. -Melissa
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01,August,2004
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urlLink This person has a lot more dedication to blogging than I, but he seems to have everything on his site I was hoping for this one. In any case, check it out if you want to know what Bush and the rest of the Bushies are doing to your rights today.
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01,August,2004
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The next time you visit the nation's capital, your every move may be watched and recorded. The DC Police Department, without public knowledge or city council approval, has set up a centralized video surveillance network. The system can bring together video feeds from police cameras on streets and buildings, in neighborhoods, within the city's subway system and even at public schools. With the flip of a switch, officers can zoom in on people a half-mile away. This system of cameras could be used to monitor peaceful protests and the activities of innocent people throughout the city. This information could then be misused to blackmail, intimidate or bully people who are exercising their freedom of speech, freedom of peaceful assembly, or just going about their daily lives. Many are urlLink protesting this blatant violation of privacy. Just letting ya'll know. -Shannon
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01,August,2004
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Forward unsolicited e-mail (spam) to the folks at urlLink this site , which turns it over to the Federal Trade Commission for possible legal action, and to software developers working on spam filters.
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01,August,2004
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Check out the urlLink story about Laura Bush canceling her poetry shindig because of the protest. 'Refusing' By Gregory Orr on the urlLink Poets Against War Web site Refusing the invitation I was not given, being given instead the invitation to refuse. Which I accept. Am grateful for. The chance to be part of the poet's chorus, the caucus of those whose politics is obvious and earnest. Whose wishes are simple: sensible diplomacy, everything to be negotiated. Tough bargaining, but easy on the violence. That's what we poets learned from poems: it's all on the table, but it's stupid to break up the table with an axe, to splinter the chairs. And it's madness to ask poets to celebrate, when people can't even breathe deeply for fear of war's imminence. Other urlLink anti-war Web sites . -Melissa
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01,August,2004
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The Guardian (London) reported in December that multinational food giant Nestle continues relentlessly to demand about $6 million from dirt-poor Ethiopia (you know, the one with the famine?) as payment for that governments having nationalized a Nestle subsidiary 27 years ago. (According to the Oxfam humanitarian group, $6 million would feed a million people for a month.) Yep. It's the same Nestle corporation that the World Health Organization is urlLink boycotting for urlLink unethical practices in Third World countries with regards to baby formula. Want to join? urlLink Here's a comprehensive list of Nestle products. Multinational corporations suck. -Melissa
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01,August,2004
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It's the 30th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision, and the amount of ignorance on urlLink message boards recently is really annoying me. Here's a recent post I put up on urlLink beliefnet.com . First of all, just to straighten out some people who don't bother to check facts: urlLink The Alan Guttmacher Institute surveyed all known U.S. abortion providers during the past two years. The new report offers comprehensive data from 1996 to 2000 from all 50 states and the District. It found that: The number of abortions fell from 1.36 million in 1996 to 1.31 million in 2000, a 4 percent decline. The abortion rate declined 5 percent, to 21.3 abortions per 1,000 women ages 15 to 44. In 35 states, including Virginia, and in the District, abortion rates fell. In Virginia in 2000, the rate dropped 5 percent, to 18.1 abortions per 1,000 fertile women. In the District, the rate fell 39 percent, to 68.1 abortions per 1,000 fertile women. There were an estimated 37,000 early medical abortions done in the first six months of 2001. This shows a small but significant use of the newly legal chemical process called mifepristone, formerly known as RU-486. Abortions are declining, institute researchers said, because of lower teen pregnancy rates, more contraceptive choices, an aging female baby boomer population and a shrinking pool of abortion providers (down to 1,819 providers in 2000). So teen pregnancies are down, and abortions are down, and if you bother to keep up with the news, you'll read that STDs are down as well. Second of all, most of the people here seem to miss one very big point: Just because you consider something to be immoral does not mean you have the right to impose your morality on anyone else. So, first thing's first. If you are a man, step out of the debate right now. You have no business in governing a woman's body. (And if you are really that concerned, get a vasectomy, and we won't have this problem.) Second. Do you really think women want to have an abortion? Yes, we all go around saying, hey, I think I'll get pregnant today because I think an abortion will feel so darn good. Think about it. Not only is it physically painful, but you have to live with it the rest of your life. Third. Not all abortions are done by single woman. Married women have them, too. If you can't feed another child and you get pregnant in spite of birth control (see where the vasectomy would be good?), you have a choice. Abortion or live off everyone else's taxes. Or you could give your kid up (if you happen to be white and the kid is healthy). That, or you can just abstain from sex. But doesn't the bible tell you to give it up to your husband? (I looked it up - it does: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord (Colossians 3:18). 'Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Ephesians 5:22-24)') Fourth. Familly planning agencies are good things. They tell girls about contraception, safe sex and kinds of other good things. And as long as ol' Bushie is keeping money away from any group that talks about abortion, it'll just hurt the whole sex education process. And don't give me that 'We shouldn't be teaching it anyway.' That's bull. Kids will have sex. It happens. Look at how many people on this board said they gave it up before they were born again. And as long as procreating is human nature, kids will continue to have sex. So we should just accept that and educate them about it. (The same argument goes for abortions: Women will have them, whether the education and clean, sterile environments are there or not. So instead of killing a bunch of women in back alleys with coat hangers, why don't we help them with something they are going to do anyway?) -Melissa
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01,August,2004
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This is an urlLink awesome site . If you haven't heard about the Lysistrata Project yet, check it out. A bunch of theatre people all over the world are staging 'Lysistrata,' a play about a group of women who withhold sex until the men stop their war, as part of anti-war protest. It also has some great links and stories about other women's issues such as abortion.
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01,August,2004
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My bills are annoying me today. You know why? Because there are a ton of books out there right now that I can't buy, and there is no way our rinky-dink library will get them in the next decade or so. Here's a list if anyone is interested in contributing to charity :-) Or getting something for Shane and I's wedding (21 days!). Or if you own any of them and want to let me borrow, I'm sure I have something I can loan you in return. urlLink Dancing Barefoot by Wil Wheaton Yes, that Wil Wheaton. I've been reading his blog for awhile, and he's not a bad writer. Want to check out his book as soon as the wedding is over and I have money and time to devote to it. urlLink Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six MIT Students Who Took Vegas for Millions by Ben Mezrich Read the excerpt at this link. It's awesome (as in, I am in awe). Want to read. Now. :-) urlLink The new Harry Potter book. Geek, I know. But I read the first one out of curiosity and got hooked. And it's coming out on my wedding day. How dare JK Rowling not ask me before deciding her release date? :-) urlLink Humans by Robert Sawyer I just read 'Hominids' by this author, and this is some of the best researched stuff I have read yet in that whole anthropological, ancient history genre (I don't know what it's called ... think Clan of the Cave Bear or Piers Anthony's geodyssey series) that still manages a great plot. It mixes it up with science fiction, and it had some awesome discussion of religion and history and its interpretations. And it left it with kind of a cliffhanger, so I need to read 'Humans' real soon. Or I may die. OK. No more letting random people see my geek quotient. I read other things. Sometimes. Like 'Salt: A World History' right now. *pause* That doesn't really help.
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01,August,2004
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urlLink This guy at urlLink alternet.org hits it right on the head: I feel guilty about shopping at Wal-Mart. It's a horrible place that treats its employees like crap (check out ' urlLink Nickle and Dimed ' by Barbara Ehrenreich), puts small businesses out of operation with its practice of putting two Wal-Marts close to each other, and probably gets a ton of stuff from foreign factories that pay workers zilch. But it's so damn cheap. And it has everything. And then some. And for a poor newspaperwomen like myself (who is marrying a teacher in three weeks!), the temptation of all the savings is too much sometimes. I can't turn away. As much as I would like to support the cute little record shop down the road, the mom and pop fruit stand a few miles away and other various little guys, I can't afford to do it. And it pisses me off. It makes me feel guilty and beat myself up, but there's not too much I can do about any of it. It's hard enough to boycott urlLink certain brands . (Nestle is the top one on my list of ones to avoid: urlLink here's why .) If anyone has a solution for this, please let me know. I would love to hear of a way to smite Wal-Mart, but I suppose that's too much to ask. And if this page isn't here next time you visit, call the Waltons. They might have a good idea.
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01,August,2004
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From News of the Weird: 'Prominent Columbia, S.C., surgeon Harry J. Metropol, appearing before a state legislative committee in April to argue that doctors shouldn't have to pay so much money in malpractice awards and insurance premiums, minimized the harm suffered by a woman (not Metropol's patient) who lost both breasts because of an error in cancer diagnosis. 'She did not lose her life,' Metropol said, sunnily, 'and with plastic surgery, she'll have breast reconstruction better than she did before. It won't be National Geographic, hanging to her knees. It'll be nice, firm breasts.' Yeah, and I bet he'd be saying the same thing if two of his dangly parts got lopped off by accident. (Don't e-mail and tell me urlLink ball implants aren't possible. Don't you watch Sex and the City? :-)
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01,August,2004
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I've never heard this song, but I looked up the lyrics after seeing it referenced in the urlLink Salon article, urlLink 'Chicks against the Machine.' They say so much about how I feel about this past war, and any urlLink future wars we may start ( urlLink Google Iran in the news if you don't know what I am talking about). Johnny Cash wrote it about Vietnam. 'So we sadly sang for them our last song, And reluctantly we said: 'So long.' We did our best to let 'em know that we care, For every last one of 'em that's over there. Whether we belong over there or not. Somebody over here love's 'em, and needs 'em Well now that's about all that there is to tell, About that little trip into livin' hell. And if I ever go back over there any more, I hope there's none of our boys there for me to sing for; I hope that war is over with, And they all come back home, To stay. In peace.' You can care about the troops and hate the war. I wish more anti- anti-war people realized that.
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01,August,2004
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More news from the Bush-is-a-goober archives. The Bush administration has proposed exemptions for the Department of Defense that will allow continued use of the Navys new low frequency sonar that can kill marine mammals by shattering their eardrums. Because it's not enough that we kill marine animals with oil spills and overfishing. Now we have to torture them to death as well.
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01,August,2004
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Did you know that when a Catholic Bishop turns 75, he has to turn his resignation in to the Pope? In other news, Pope John Paul II turns 83 today and is finally acknowledging that he has Parkinson's.
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01,August,2004
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In a story on urlLink Salon , it has been confirmed that there is a list of 1,000 names of people not allowed to fly for any reason, compiled by different federal agencies. But others are being delayed and harassed at security checkpoints, missing flights and costing money, leading some to believe that there is another list of people who should be closely examined before boarding planes. Among these people are nuns, peace activists and left-wing individuals. What's scarier: 'Inevitably, such questions about how one gets on a federal transit list creates questions about how to get off it. It is a classic -- and unnerving -- Catch-22: Because the Transportation Security Administration says it compiles the list from names provided by other agencies, it has no procedure for correcting a problem. Aggrieved parties would have to go to the agency that first reported their names, but for security reasons, the TSA won't disclose which agency put someone on the list. Bresson, the FBI spokesperson, would not explain the criteria for classifying someone as a threat to aviation, but suggests that fliers who believe they're on the list improperly should 'report to airport security and they should be able to contact the TSA or us and get it cleared up.' He concedes that might mean missed flights or other inconveniences. His explanation: 'Airline security has gotten very complicated.' So once you are on the list, there may or may not be a way to get off the list; in any case, you are out any money you may have spent on a ticket, not to mention valuable hours of your life. How scarily Kafka-esque is that? Just one more of those civil liberties disappearing under this administration that no one is really missing, and won't, until it's too late.
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01,August,2004
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On MSNBC: 'After the initial waiting period to ensure animals qualify for the pet passport, flights can be booked last minute. Virgin even hopes to extend its frequent-flier program, offering extra perks to dogs and cats who earn their wings. Therell be special Bone-us Miles for the dogs and a Frequent Feline club for the cats, Branson said in his statement.' Am I the only one who thinks calling a program 'Bone-us' is a bad idea?
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01,August,2004
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Canada will change its law to allow homosexual marriage, joining Belgium and The Netherlands as the only countries where same-sex couples can legally wed, Prime Minister Jean Chretien announced Tuesday. One hopes the U.S. will take notice and soon follow suit.
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01,August,2004
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'Just today, Wal-Mart announced it was going to get into DVD rentals.' Toys, clothes, groceries, gas stations, and now DVD rentals. Is anyone else noticing a bid to take over the world here, or is it just me?
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01,August,2004
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George Mason University urlLink has become the second Virginia college urlLink to stop dispensing an emergency contraceptive to students after receiving criticism from a conservative state legislator. The first was urlLink James Madison . A March letter written by Del. Robert G. Marshall, R-Prince William, to George Mason and several other state-supported schools is what caused all this. His position is that these pills are akin to abortion. You know what? Whether they amount to abortion, not letting students have 'morning-after' pills isn't going to make them stop having sex. It's not going to make them more careful. It's going to make it more difficult for young girls who aren't ready to have children, whether it's in an emotional, financial or physical sense. Do these right-wing men even stop to think about this? They can preach abstinence all they want, but it doesn't make a difference if a girl is raped or silly enough to get drunk and sleep with a guy (which is just another form of rape if the guy is sober and knows she is drunk, IMHO). No girl should have to bear a child because of rape, and in some cases, going to your college pharmacy is a lot easier (and more anonymous) than going to a doctor if you are ashamed of what happened (I know you shouldn't be ashamed ... but try telling some of my friends that who haven't gone to the cops to this day). And it's worth it to me to let a few girls get away without any consequences for the fun they had the night before if it helps out a girl who has been forced into the act. Not to mention that in the end, it's always the girl who has to deal with any unwanted pregnancy. The guy doesn't have to waddle about for 9 months, nor does he have to be a part of that child's life if he doesn't want to. So until this changes and men start bearing kids, I don't really think it is their business what a woman does with her body. End of story. Tons of students on these campuses have protested this action, but in this swath of Virginia, that makes very little difference to the conservative parties involved. I'm always amazed at their audaciousness when it comes to governing other people's morals. I know, they say they are protecting the potential life inside a woman, but when you start placing that potential fetus above a woman's rights, you make her into nothing more than a vessel for that potential. And the longer the conservatives are in power, the closer we inch to a society straight out of urlLink 'A Handmaid's Tale.'
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01,August,2004
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Just got the comments feature working again. So here's your chance to rip at my views, try to convert me or just let me know you read.
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01,August,2004
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urlLink Salon.com News | Justice Dept. bars gay employees event Just when you thought gays and lesbians were making strides, ole' Ashcroft forces them to take two steps back.
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01,August,2004
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I love the EU. From urlLink www.newsmax.com : 'The European Parliament has announced that it will be monitoring American pro-life groups, with EU officials charging that the American pro-life movement has become too influential in the legislative body. 'Austin Ruse of the Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute reports that Poul Nielson, European Commissioner for Overseas Development and Humanitarian Aid, has come out against what he describes as a 'small group of extremists. 'The US anti-choice groups are powerful, well-funded and determined. They hold extreme views on religion and sexuality,' Nielson complained.'
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01,August,2004
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Re: post from 5.17.03 So it comes out that it wasn't all rumor. In urlLink Salon , a urlLink story states: 'Ever since the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, reports have circulated that the U.S. airline security apparatus is targeting political activists for strict scrutiny and special searches, sometimes forcing them to miss flights. Despite the accounts of peace activists, civil liberties lawyers and left-wing journalists, federal agencies wouldn't confirm the policy and airline officials wouldn't discuss it, and so the stories had the feel of urban legend. 'But in documents released this week in a federal court case in San Francisco, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) confirmed for the first time that it keeps not just a list of potential terrorists barred from the air, but also a list of 'selectees' who are subject to strict security checks before they're allowed to board commercial aircraft. The agency has revealed almost nothing else about the selectee list, and is fighting in court to keep secret the names of people who are on it and the standards for putting them there.' Now I'll know for sure the reason why if I get hassled the next time I fly. Civil liberties? Don't be silly. That's so unpatriotic these days!
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01,August,2004
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Sometimes someone or something else trumps Bush in the news as doing something stupid, ill-thought-out or selfishly stupid. Today, it's Wal-Mart. Last year, the Grove area of James City County was awarded an enterprise zone. If you are not aware of this concept, let me clue you in: An enterprise zone is an opportunity to dangle tax breaks in front of businesses, a way to spur commercial and industrial development in the county while bringing good paying jobs to residents. In JCC, there are two kinds of local incentives in its enterprise zone: The first is when the business makes a capital investment of $1 million or more, and the second is a job-creation incentive, where, among other things, 50 percent of the jobs must go to residents of the county. So far, so good. Especially in an area like Grove, where the jobless rate is typically twice as high as in the surrounding county, where the average income is $13,475. (I would have paid more for college in a semester without my scholarship!) Good policy to bring local jobs. Enter Wal-Mart. Well-known for not paying much and not offering as many full-time positions as it could, Wal-Mart snapped up some of the primo land and some of the tax breaks offered for its mammoth distribution center. Funny thing is, it's not applying for the local-job incentive. Reason? Not only must 50 percent of the jobs go to locals, the average salary you pay must be $26,000. At this Wal-Mart center, salaries range from $18,000 to $26,000. No chance of that averaging out. And I wouldn't even have a problem with Wal-Mart moving in an offering low-paying, part-time jobs because, well, they are jobs. But for them to come in and snatch up a piece of this enterprise zone, a zone the county got in hopes of bettering the jobs offered to their locals, that's just wrong. There is plenty of undeveloped land in JCC and the Williamsburg area they could take, letting some business get the tax breaks that would actually try to offer a better class of jobs to residents. Some people would just say this is good business, that Wal-Mart is just eyeing the bottom line. Unfortunately, that's true. It perfectly befits everything I have ever heard about how it operates. But it's selfish as hell and against all that American pride crap on the Wal-Mart banners you are always seeing. I guess billions in profits makes it easy to sleep at night.
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01,August,2004
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This is cool. Got this e-mail from urlLink The Poison Kitchen Web site administrators ... if you are a journalist, you should check it out. It's still growing, but it's a good place to get advice, ask questions, debate, etc. Apparently someone out there is reading and agreeing with me. 'Hello sea0tter12, Just checked out your blog and it's hilarious and interesting and lets me know who the hell is annoying me today as well. Good stuff, keep it up.' As for another cool site I found surfing recently, urlLink Testy Copy Editors is funny as hell. In the forum, a bunch of copy editors publish the mistake of the day and gripe about reporters, their bosses and life in general.
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01,August,2004
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So who's annoying me today? People who think they are better or know more because they have money or the ability to speak another language or any other number of things that would differentiate them from someone else. Over on the urlLink Spruce Creek High School alumni board , there's a guy who has taken it upon himself to rant about my views and correct what he views as my misconceptions. And a good debate is never something I back away from, as those of you who know me know very well. However, it's the forum he has chosen that irks me. Here's the deal: I posted on the site letting people know that I got married and have a new last name, etc. Perfectly innocent post. The site administrator allows us to link to a site from our post, so I linked here, thinking people who know me and care enough to read the post might be curious about my Web site. Apparently this guy read my post and clicked on the link, and the things I say here irked him so much, he felt the need to bash me on that forum. Now, I ask you, what is the purpose in that? I provide a way to respond right here on the site. The only thing I can think might be his purpose is just to let people know how smart, successful, etc., he may or may not be while bashing me. How else is he going to mention for the hundredth time that he is worth tons of money, knows another language, is wildly successful, whatever, without sounding like a pompous ass? If that's not the reason, what is? If anyone else can think of a good reason, I would love to know it. Otherwise, someone should clue him in to the fact that he's not the only one in the U.S. with money, he's not the only one who can speak another language (He hablado una lengua otra por muchos anos, y no es dificil - insert tildas and accents where you will, my computer won't do it for me.) and he's not the only one who is successful in a given field. And just because he is doesn't mean he can attack other people. OK, I shouldn't use the word can. He can do whatever he wants. It just makes him an ass. Not to mention that some of his posts were personal attacks, which never make for good debate. Now, his vile posts have been removed, but some of his cronies (or him posing as his friends) are pissed that my initial post has not been removed because it contains the link to this site, which they don't like. They are continuing to post attacks, and they are still being unnecessarily personal in their gripes. And they are missing one key point: My post says that I got married. In order to read that information, you don't need to click on this link. It's all a matter of the proper time and place to post your views. This is proper. That site isn't. And if any of you are reading this site and are still not happy, by all means, pick the proper place to respond. Right here, where it belongs. Don't take it over to a site that, until you came around, was a great place to be.
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01,August,2004
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Sorry for the lag in posting. I was on my honeymoon, so I have an excuse :-) But, in the meantime ... The Bushies are at it again. Now they are trying to take overtime pay away from nearly 8 million workers. The House has voted to allow these changes to go through, and it's only a matter of time, I suppose, until the Senate does the same. Under the urlLink new rules, anyone who is a 'learned professional' can be exempt. This is someone who has special skills needed for their job, or basically anything that can be considered a vocation. Well, there goes any OT I'll be getting as a copy editor. It's going to affect a lot of middle management and people like me, who aren't too far up on the chain, but who have to know a little something to get where we are. Sigh. According to urlLink a column by Bob Herbert of the NY Times, 'nearly 80 percent of all workers are in jobs that qualify them for overtime pay, which is time-and-a-half for each hour that is worked beyond the normal 40-hour week.' The Labor Department is estimating that only 600,000 or so workers are going to be affected, but read urlLink the definitions yourself. They are so vague and ill-defined, any business who wants to save money could make the case for their workers fitting into the new categories. The part of this that I can't understand is why more newspapers and TV stations aren't splashing this all over the front page, giving it the same play as Laci Peterson or OJ. Not only does it affect a lot of readers, it affects a lot of us who put the paper out every day. And for some of us, OT is not an option, it's a way to make ends meet, especially when you have a spouse out of work (as I used to when he first moved up) or kids to support or heat to turn on in the winter. I'm scared. I really am. Because with each new policy Bush and his cronies put into place, the further America sinks into a pit of depression. I'm looking at having kids in a few years, buying a house, a new car, but if this continues, I don't know how we could afford it. I don't know how any middle working class person could afford it. Not even mentioning in this rant the policies that won't affect my children financially that they are trying to get into place (abortion, civil rights, social security, health care, etc.). I'm at a loss right now. I don't know when I have ever been more depressed about living in this country or more pessimistic. I just got married. The world should seem rife with possibilities. But outside of my own personal circle, made up of Shane and I, I'm not really seeing them. And that is truly depressing.
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01,August,2004
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From an urlLink AP story: 'President Bush has said he supports efforts to legally ban gay marriage, but encourages tolerance of gays and lesbians.' Yeah, because the two go together so well. What's even scarier is the results of the poll in the story. More Americans are against gay marriages and civil unions than 3 years ago. However, in the scariness, we can find humor: From the article: 'I don't think it's a great idea, the whole idea of marriage is bringing up children,' said Jim Martin, a 64-year-old engineer from Alexandria, Va. 'If somebody was promoting it, I would vote against them.' If the whole idea of marriage is bringing up children, then I know about 15 couples in my immediate sphere of influence that should never have gotten married. Heterosexual couples. They never wanted children, they've never had children, and they'll never have children. According to this guy's thinking, they should have never gotten married. So now that this excuse not to let gays marry falls apart due to, go figure, logic, it's back to the drawing board. Of course, there's always old reliable: The Bible. And everyone knows that should be the final word on law in the U.S. *insert sarcasm here*
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01,August,2004
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Bush wants to shrink the number of military vets who qualify for disability in order to pay for concurrent payments of disability and retirement benefits. Which is so wrong. urlLink From AP: 'Under current law, disabled veterans eligible for military retirement pay have their retirement reduced by the amount they receive in disability payments. Veterans groups argue that civilian federal employees on disability get full retirement benefits, and lawmakers for years have tried to extend that right to veterans. 'The problem is cost: estimates are that full concurrent receipt of both benefits would cost $58 billion over 10 years.' Yet Bush has the nerve urlLink to ask for $87 billion for Iraq next year. Screw the future veterans fighting over there and give Iraq lots of money. Compared to this, $58 billion over 10 years is nothing. He really needs to get a grip.
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01,August,2004
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Editing the oped page, I recently read a wonderful column by Ellen Goodman, a Boston Globe columnist. It's about the two decisions made recently by the Bush boys; urlLink one about abortion , the other urlLink about the right to die . I think she nails the issue on the head. 'It is deeply troubling moment when a stranger, a governor, a legislator, a president is given the power to write the end of our ethical, medical, family tales. Yes, this is how we lose our freedoms: One signature at a time.' urlLink Ellen Goodman: Signing away our freedoms I think we all have to be vigilant, now more so than ever. So many in this country are complacent and allow our rights to be signed away, one by one, and one day they are going to look up and we won't be living in the America of our forefathers any more. Sept. 11 started the push with Ashcroft, and now we have one Bush who would be King and another who would be God. It's a consolation that ole Jeb will be out of office in a couple of years, never to return. One can only hope that the same will happen with Dubya in the coming election.
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01,August,2004
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Poetic justice: Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September, inflicting serious property damage, despite public calls for prayer to keep it away by prominent resident Rev. Pat Robertson, whose Christian Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring a Gay Days festival, and warned that the city could be torn up during the subsequent hurricane season, as God punishes those who promote homosexuality. Instead, the first hurricane of that season (Bonnie) made a direct hit on Virginia Beach.) -From urlLink News of the Weird
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01,August,2004
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OK, so off topic. This person is so not annoying me today. urlLink Bob Harris , being the wonderful person he is, has compiled a urlLink comparison of presidential candidates Dean and Kucinich. Those who know me know I support Dean totally, but this comparison really makes me rethink that. I find myself agreeing a whole lot more with Kucinich's positions ... and here I had totally discounted him because of his name ;-) -- long conversation one night in the newsroom about his name being 'too soft' for a president and which one has a name that works. Anyway, check it out and the rest of his site, too.
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01,August,2004
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This is a personal issue, but you know who else is annoying me today? Landlords. Our one up in Virginia won't let us out of our lease, even though we moved all the way down here to Greensboro, NC. OK, so maybe I understand that, a bit. But I would be a heck of a lot more understanding if they were actually bothering to publish an ad in the paper trying to find someone to rent it to. (Did they think I wouldn't check?) But what really irritates me most is how they are acting about out $1,340 deposit. Here is an e-mail my husband sent me from Virginia when he was tying up loose ends up there: 'Well, the woman we dealt with before showed up with another associate from Greg Garrett to do the final walk-through a little after 2 o'clock. They brought with them a tubular device, which at one end had a handle with an embedded red light and at the other end two prongs. In every room in the townhouse, they pressed the two prongs into the carpet in an attempt to detect urine, which they claimed that this device could do. Furthermore, they claimed that they could smell the cat urine, which I doubt, given that the pest control man had sprayed the apartment only two hours before they arrived. In any case, the ladies claimed that the urine smell was especially bad in the guest room. I asked to see the device in action, and one of the two ladies went upstairs with me to demonstrate it. Despite repeatedly pressing the device into the carpet, the best she could manage was a faint blip on the device which I did not see, and the blip lasted no more than a fraction of a second, if it did indeed detect something. Further attempts to rediscover the spot that had produced the blip failed to yield any results. Both ladies thought that the device's batteries were going dead, or might have been thrown off by the chemicals used to clean the apartment, and they generally did their best to make it sound as thought the lack of any results was due to some fault in the machine rather than a lack of urine. They have assured me that they intend to return on Monday with another one of these devices to test the carpet again. The ladies informed me that if it is not possible to remove the alleged cat urine smell, they may have to re-carpet the area, thought exactly what area they were referring to they did not say. I assume it is limited to the guest room, but there is just no way to know. Clearly this would all be coming out of our deposit. I did give them the keys, but I have signed no paperwork, and they did not ask me to. I am uncomfortable about not being present when they retest on Monday, and I have a feeling this could get ugly before it's over if they 'find' the urine. :-(' A urine detector? Try a bullshit detector. There is no way those women smelled anything; they have been like this since they came over to inspect the place after Isabel came thru. We still had boxes all over the place (we were planning to move soon and didn't want to unpack), there was laundry in the hallway (a week without power will do that to a person), there were dishes all over the kitchen (again, water you have to boil and no power for a week?), and she just didn't like the disorganized life that we live. Like it's any of her business. They have been trying to get us since then, and they can't because they have no justifiable reason to. Sigh. I hate them and wish this whole mess were over with so we could go on with our lives (and our money).
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01,August,2004
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Now, I'm totally against racism in any form. But urlLink some people really take it too far by finding racist intent in the most innocent of sources. When I was a child, when you were picking someone for a game or trying to decide which flavor of ice cream you wanted, there was a simple rhyme you could use: 'Eenie, meenie, minie, mo Catch a tiger by the toe If he hollers, let him go Eenie, meenie, minie mo.' Totally innocent. I had no idea its origins were from a much less enlightened time. And I bet a lot of people didn't know either, including one unfortunate airline stewardess. Trying to get her passengers to sit down, she (trying to be humorous as her company suggests) said over the intercom, 'Eenie, meenie, minie, moe; pick a seat, we gotta go.' The flight attendant's words upset two black passengers because, apparently, the rhyme has a racist history. The two passengers, sisters Louise Sawyer and Grace Fuller, insist this woman did this to hurt them and are demanding damages and pain and suffering and lots of money from the airline (Luckily, a jury told them they were SOL.). The original nursery rhyme goes like this: ' Eenie, meenie, minie, moe; catch a n----- by his toe.' Did you know that? I sure as heck didn't. And I still use the children's rhyme I learned. You know, there are a lot of nursery rhymes that we learn in all innocence as children that have much darker meanings. 'Ring around the rosies'? urlLink Bubonic plague . Humpty Dumpty? urlLink It was a big ole cannon in England used to kill people (in defense, of course). Check out urlLink this site if you want to learn more. Anyway, my point is, I bet hardly anyone knows that 'Eenie, meenie, minie, moe' used to be a really bad rhyme at one time. But it has evolved into a simple children's rhyme, so let it be. You aren't going to get kids to stop saying it, which means a lot of adults are going to know it as well ... even if they don't know its origins. And they don't mean a thing by it.
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01,August,2004
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Just a quick news update for those who care: Someone is moving into the townhouse in Va., and the landlord said they would be sending a check soon for our deposit. We're crossing our fingers that we are getting the whole thing back. Now that I have fewer worries such as moving and money on my mind, I hope to get back to blogging on a regular basis. And there is so much going on in the world right now that annoys me! 1. urlLink Bush and his military record . I wish this had all come out a long time ago. Which leads to ... 2. Democrats and Republicans who save up all their charges for election time, hoping to confuse the actual issues. Democrats have known about the Bush military thing for a while, at least since Molly Ivins published 'Shrub' (which is when I found out). Why bring it up now? As for the Republicans, this whole urlLink John Kerry intern thing is rubbish, too. Have an actual debate for once. If you'd like to see which candidate you'd support, take urlLink this quiz . I agree on the issues with Kerry, Kucinich, and Al Sharpton. Only an 11 percent match with Bush. That didn't really surprise me. 3. The conservatives who are still trying to prevent same-sex marriages. I think what they are urlLink doing in San Francisco this weekend is wonderful, and I wish the couples a long and happy marriage. Much more to come on this subject in the days to come, especially as the conservative groups go to court Tuesday. 4. The WB. I just found out they urlLink canceled 'Angel.' Now what will I do without any of the Buffyverse from Joss?
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01,August,2004
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Comletely random thought I had while watching the urlLink Independent Spirit Awards . urlLink John Waters said something about, the next time you pay $7.50 to watch a movie and you get a commercial, boo! I paraphrase, but what I gathered is he doesn't like movies that seem like big commercials (perhaps he was talking about ' urlLink The Italian Job's ' advertisement for the urlLink Mini Cooper ?). That's what my husband heard, anyway. The thought that flashed in my mind when he talked was that the next time you pay for a movie and have to watch a commercial beforehand, you should boo. And I totally agree. You know, on the Internet, you have pop-ups and ads you have to look at before you get to content, but that's OK. And you know why? It's free . When it's not free, there usually aren't any ads. It should be the same way when you go to the theatre. If you pay $5-$10 for a movie ticket, you shouldn't have to watch a guy rope a car to advertise his brand of jeans. You shouldn't have to see the latest car on the road or the coolest cell phone on your movie screen. I wouldn't complain if the new trend to show commercials once only seen on TV resulted in lower ticket prices. But it doesn't. In fact, right before I left Virginia, ticket prices at our theatre went up 50 cents. When I was in high school (only six years ago), tickets were only $4 or so. Now, $7 and more is common. Why do they get to jack up the prices on tickets and make money on commercials? Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with movie trailers. I love movie trailers, and they have been a part of the movie-going experience as long as I can remember. But I have to see ads for cars and jeans and phones on TV all the time. Don't make me watch them on the movie screen as well.
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01,August,2004
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Check out urlLink this site . I visit it whenever I feel the need to rinse my mind of the radical right. It reminds me there are others like me out there.
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01,August,2004
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There are just so many things wrong with urlLink this proposal to make women a part of the military draft and to raise the age to 34. First of all, what it tells me is that the draft is a very real possibility. I keep reading all these articles about how men and women are having to stay in Iraq well past their tours of duty and how there aren't enough people to do what we need to do over there. And that sucks so much. People like my brother and my husband could be drafted to fight a battle they want no part of. I've never believed there was a reason for going over there. Now that we are there and have messed everything up, there's no way we can consciably leave. So we have to keep sending fodder over there for the snipers and guerrillas to hunt. And with a draft, that fodder could end up being my husband or brother, or if this resolution is passed, it could be me. Not to mention, are they going to make allowances in this proposal for what could happen? What is done if a husband and wife are both drafted? Will one get to stay home with the kids? Which one? Do the parents get to decide, or will the government step in according to the 'special skills' mentioned later in the article? I almost hope they try to draft me. I would love to burn my draft card or move to France. I've already got one cousin over there. There is no way I or the rest of my family is going over there. This doesn't really have a through-line of reasoning, and for that I apologize. This just bothers me so much my fingers type before my brain has time to sort it out into neat paragraphs and sentences. I hope to all that is holy that Bush is out of the White House next January, even if it is Kerry that has to take his place.
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01,August,2004
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The urlLink Sims 2 will be release Sept. 17!!! Of course, this means we are going to be spending a buttload of money in the fall. Other things coming out in September and October on the must-have list: -- Angel, the complete 4th season -- Smallville, 3rd season (rumors) -- Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas -- 21 Jump Street, the 1st season Not to mention the DVDs we don't have yet, such as Star Trek:TNG 7 season and Buffy season 6. And all the movies coming out between here and there, as well. Sigh. We are pop-culture and mass-media whores.
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01,August,2004
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Great joke from urlLink Burning Bush : Robot Bartender A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked him, 'What's your IQ?' The man replied, '150.' So the robot proceeded to make conversation about Quantum physics, string theory, atomic chemistry, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, 'This is really cool.' The man decided to test the robot. He walked out of the bar, turned around, and came back in for another drink. Again, the robot asked him, 'What's your IQ?' The man responded, '100.' So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on. The man thought to himself, 'Wow, this is really cool.' The man went out and came back in a third time. As before, the robot asked him, 'What's your IQ?' The man replied, '50.' The robot then said, 'So, you gonna vote for Bush again?'
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01,August,2004
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So urlLink Raplph Nader won't be getting the Green Party nomination despite choosing a Green Party running mate, and therefore won't be getting urlLink the automatic by onto the ballot in 22 states where the Green Party gets a pick. I hope this means he will miss the deadline, number of signatures, etc. to get on the ballot in those states urlLink as well , keeping him out of much of the race. Doesn't it tell you something when the urlLink Republicans are helping you out?
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01,August,2004
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So I finally figured out, with some help, what they all were in that cereal logo game. But I discovered urlLink the site has many more ID contests, such as movies, fast food, logos, etc. This could keep me busy for hours!
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01,August,2004
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urlLink This site is really getting to me. You have to identify the cereal by a close-up on one letter of its logo. I have them all except 'M', 'Q', 'W', and 'Z'. If anyone can help me out with those, I would be forever grateful. Also willing to trade other letters :-)
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01,August,2004
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urlLink Worf and Miss Kitty (front) love to help whoever is on the computer. And I just figured out how to post pictures to my blog :-)
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01,August,2004
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Here's a urlLink fun political site a friend clued me in to a few weeks ago. Wonkette is very liberal, so all of you odd conservative people should proceed at your own risk. Fark.com -- I adore this site. Check it out, and you'll see why. Worth1000.com --If you're interested in Photoshop, this is the site to be. Tutorials, contests, etc. Just fun to look through, if nothing else.
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01,August,2004
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Songs that didn't make urlLink the list that bugged me: Take My Breath Away, Top Gun Pretty Woman, Pretty Woman Anything from Blues Brothers Anything from Ferris Bueller Ghostbusters Blame Canada, South Park I Will Always Love You, Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (they mentioned both movies when some songs were listed ... why not when they listed this song for Bodyguard?) Anything from Willy Wonka What a Wonderful World, Good Morning Vietnam Somewhere Out There, American Tail I think they should have picked one song from each film that represented that film best ... I mean, I adore West Side Story, but it took up like 5 or 6 songs, and Sound of Music and a couple others had more than one. That way, they could have had more movies represented. Anyway, here's urlLink the list of the 400 songs orginally nominated. A lot of my picks are on there, but some still aren't. Humph. Of course, I also noticed that urlLink Heathers wasn't mentioned for Que Sera, Sera, nor was Working on the Chain Gang for urlLink Cadence (two films for which I have an unreasonable amount of liking).
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01,August,2004
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If you have visited before, you may have noticed that it looks a little different around here. Blogger.com has updated a lot of features, including the commenting feature and pictures, etc. Anyway, to reflect those new features on my site, I thought I'd go for a little different look. Let me know what you think!
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01,August,2004
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If you choked a smurf, what color would he turn?
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01,August,2004
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I don't know if this works or not, but I'm gonna try it. If you sign up for one of their offers (one of them is to sign up with eBay or AOL, and some others), and get five friends to sign up as well, then you can get a free 20 GB iPod, or $250 from iTunes. I'm going for the iTunes, personally. Anyway, some people over at the Kevin Smith board have a chain going to sign up with each other as a referral ... I'm cheating a bit and posting urlLink my referral link here as well: urlLink http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=7513196 You can cancel your offer sign-up immediately if you like :-) Sign up and use this link! I'll post again if it doesn't work and annoys me :-)
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01,August,2004
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For more, visit: urlLink http://www.whatididinthewar.com And in that vein, visit this site and do what you can to help: urlLink http://www.anysoldier.us/ It's a great site, and I know it works as I have already received a thank-you from the soldier I sent stuff to.
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01,August,2004
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I saw a sign recently advertising a product that guaranteed it would make me 'fill better.' What exactly does that mean? I can't stand advertising that has bad grammar, misspellings, or any sort of mistakes. You get a limited number of words as it is to get your point across; at least make sure they are right. Driving down I-95 a few months ago, I saw one of those 'South of the Border' huge billboards. I'm glad to know that 'Bus'es are welcome.' We went to see Dolly's urlLink 'Dixie Stampede' show in Pigeon Forge, Tenn., recently. The brochure for this show, one that is sold out nearly every night and makes tons of money, told us it was Pigeon Forges Greatest Dinner Show. You would think someone out there would understand possessives. Did they not have a copy editor? Maybe I'm too anal about these things, since I am a copy editor, but it really bugs me to see things like this. Especially when those editors are probably getting paid a hell of a lot more working in advertising than I am.
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01,August,2004
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OK, so I'm just urging everyone to get out there and vote. I have a feeling that the way the country is run would be a lot different if 100 percent of Americans voted, but the only way to find out is to make that happen. Of course, I'm of the opinion that the Internet would go a long way to making that happen -- I know a ton of young people would vote if they could just click something online. Of course, that means tons of security issues, but I don't see how it would be much different than the mess they have down in Florida, so who knows? I'm not telling you how to vote, I'm just letting you know that you should. 'You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything.'
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01,August,2004
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Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. 'Just think,' he said, 'when I am president, I could have a gold urinal too. But I wouldn't do something that self-indulgent!' Later when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal. That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, 'I found out who pissed in your saxophone.'
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01,August,2004
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... because no one is leaving any comments! All right, so maybe you're the shy type. At least comment on this post and let me know you're out there!
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01,August,2004
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At least some of them. Shane, who has been having physical therapy for a while to be able to move his finger, had an appointment yesterday. Shane was planning to ask the doctor if he could stop going to the $40-per-week appointments, for two reasons: 1.) His finger is a lot better, and it just needs for him to work on it now to get all the way better. 2.) We are poor. But Shane expected the normal appointment, the kind where he doesn't get back home for almost 2 hours. Get this: The doctor doesn't even spend thirty seconds with him. He basically tells my sweetie he's good to go and doesn't need any more office visits. Great. What's not great is that for what that doctor could have done over the phone, he charged us $20. That sickens me. I have another friend who told me a story about a pregnant woman who was in labor, ably attended to by a gaggle of nurses and doctors. A doctor she had never met (the head doctor, I believe) stuck his head in and asked if she needed his help. She told him no, she was fine with the staff she had. She remembered his name, and later, when she saw the itemized bill, his name was listed with a consultation fee of $500. That's not a typo. When I went to get a root canal and crown while I was in college, I had no dental insurance. While discussing with the person how much it would be, I about had a heart attack. She quoted a price that was very close to $1,000, an amount that's inconceivable to a broke college student. When she found out I didn't have insurance, she said it would only be $600. Still expensive, but not quite as bad. I find out later it's common practive to charge more when insurance is paying for it. And people wonder why health-care coverage costs so much.
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739,729 |
female
| 24 |
Communications-Media
|
Libra
|
01,August,2004
|
In his memoirs, 'A World Transformed,' written five years ago, George Bush Sr. wrote the following to explain why he didn't go after Saddam Hussein at the end of the Gulf War. 'Trying to eliminate Saddam...would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. Apprehending him was probably impossible.... We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq.... There was no viable 'exit strategy' we could see, violating another of our principles. Furthermore, we had been consciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-Cold War world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the United Nations'mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression that we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land.'
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739,729 |
female
| 24 |
Communications-Media
|
Libra
|
01,August,2004
|
As the Web site urlLink FactCheck.org quotes, 'Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.' (From Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan) This is a nonpartisan Web site that I urge everyone to check out. It takes a look at both sides' political ads and fact checks them, pointing out what is wrong in each. Just a way for you to see how everyone tries to politically manipulate the mind of the people. Notice, as you scroll through urlLink all of them , how many are for Kerry vs. Bush. I think you'll see just what Bush has been doing with those millions he's been using in this campaign.
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739,729 |
female
| 24 |
Communications-Media
|
Libra
|
01,August,2004
|
Top Ten George W. Bush Complaints About 'Fahrenheit 9/11': 10. That actor who played the President was totally unconvincing 9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election 8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words 7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months, he could have included the part where I get him deported 6. Didn't have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger 5. Of all Michael Moore's accusations, only 97% are true 4. Not sure - - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe 3. Where the hell was Spider-man? 2. Couldn't hear most of the movie over Cheney's foul mouth 1. I thought this was supposed to be about dodgeball
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739,729 |
female
| 24 |
Communications-Media
|
Libra
|
01,August,2004
|
Just in the interest of full disclosure, I am a native Floridian, and I lived there for 18-21 years, depending on whether you count college. I still think Florida is messed up, and there is so much potential for more wrongness to happen in the election in November, as evidenced by urlLink this article : July 3, 2004 | MIAMI -- More than 2,100 Floridians who had their voting rights restored were included on a list of purported felons who are potentially ineligible to vote, a newspaper reported Friday. The names were on a Florida Division of Elections list of more than 47,000 people that was sent to county elections supervisors, who are expected to determine who should be removed from the rolls. The Miami Herald, after a computer analysis, said at least 2,119 people on the list had received clemency and were eligible to vote. So people who aren't eligible to vote (i.e. dead people) do manage to vote, and people who are allowed to vote, can't.
|
3,895,428 |
male
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Aquarius
|
13,July,2004
|
Many people in the world are experiencing and encountering very strong emotions surrounding the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election. There is much energy expended in debate and evangelizing. Primal feelings of defensiveness abound, as mud is slung from one camp to the other. The liberals are called unpatriotic and unamerican; the conservatives are accused of being corrupt and heartless. I get upset about this issue, but I also think that it's something that must be discussed, not avoided as a taboo subject like sex or religion. As with religion, those who do speak most often end up wasting their breath because the slightest hint of dogmatism will close the ears of their audience. I think Michael Moore failed with a very important project because he was too fiery and too sarcastic to reach anyone but the home team. He ended up preaching to the choir. Here, as an exercise in my own thinking, is another very humble attempt to explain why it is vital that we get G.W.B. out as soon as possible: Having G.W.B. as our President endangers our country. He is a problem for us because he has got a bad reputation. We are seeing the unprecedented occurrence of people in foreign countries holding protests against our present administration. The 2004 election seems to be of equal or greater interest to non-Americans than to the citizens of this country. Throughout Europe and the Middle East, there are many ordinary, 'man on the street' kind of people who openly despise our President and his administration. In the past, we might have been lucky if the common people had any opinion of our president or even knew who he was. Now we are seeing not only that people know the name Bush but that the name is often associated with very negative feelings. See this quotation from a Washington Post report on a recent poll conducted by the nonpartisan Pew Research Centre: 'The survey, the largest of its kind, found slipping support for the U.S. war on terrorism in Europe and negative views of the United States in all foreign countries polled except Britain. Big majorities said that the United States does not consider other countries' interests and that Europe should develop more diplomatic and military independence' ( Opinion of U.S. Abroad Is Falling, Survey Finds by Dana Milbank, March 17, 2004). Note the language here: 'the United States does not consider other countries' interests.' What do people mean when they speak of the United States this way? It seems a bit strange to blame something as abstract as a country for such negligence. Who, then, are the people of the world to blame? Of course, they blame the big decision makers, Bush and his administration. The U.S. is perceived as a reckless bully. What is really meant by this, however, is that the public policies of the American government are considered reckless and brutish. The negative opinion of the United States bears the name of Bush as its seal. (We might point out, as an aside, that Bush concludes most of his speeches, including the vital 'declaration of war' speech, with the phrase, 'God bless America,' not 'God bless Freedom,' 'God bless our Ideals,' or some other ambiguous prayer that might indicate that likeminded non-Americans are included too. Is it surprising, considering the lack of evidence for WMD etc, that the non-American public should suspect the U.S. of acting only for its own gain and self-interest?) The first problem is that Bush is known and hated by many people in the world. The second problem is that some of these haters are terrorists. At one time, I thought this fact was universally obvious: Terrorism is not something that can be stamped out with brute force. The London-based independent journalist, Gwynne Dyer, compares the war on terror to the war on crime calling it 'merely a militaristic metaphor for an operation that is really statistical' ( A 'Statistical' Victory Over Terrorism Cannot Be Achieved The Salt Lake Tribune, May 19, 2003). In times past, Americans could decieve themselves into thinking that they were isolated from and immune to the world's problems. September 11 made manifest the fact that this is a fallacy. These days, the U.S. President must not only solve domestic problems and disputes, but he must try to keep his neighbors happy as well. Sometimes G.W.B. describes in his speeches a happy, free Iraq in which the people all act like Americans, enjoying the luxuries of living in a 'prosperous' nation. One comes away with the feeling that he has got a plan to systematically rid the world of anything unpleasant, to create a heaven on earth. When we come back to our senses, however, we are reminded that achieving peace in the real world is not so simple. Communism could not quell the peoples' allegiance to divergent, deep-seated religious, political, and moral beliefs. We will not silence the terrorists and bring them over to our side by means of either the fear of the American military or the allure of American wealth . And, what is more, everytime we attempt to infiltrate Arab culture with either of these primitive tools, the anti-American sentiment spreads and is enlivened. This in not an anti-American view or a pessimistic one; it is a realistic one. If Osama is caught, do we really think that we will be able to sit back and relax in confidence that the threat is over? This is just naive. The reality is that terrorism exists in the world and always will exist. What is the best way to control terrorism, to keep its statistics down? The only way is to try to reduce the number of people who feel angry and desperate enough to do something about it. Although it may be frustrating and slow moving, diplomacy is the only effective weopon against terrorism. The use of military force is the best way to irritate and worsen the problem; the installation of American businesses and other purveyors of Western culture is the second best. To reelect G.W.B. would help to transform the remaining anti-Bush sentiment into anti-American sentiment. It would send a message to the world that American citizens support the man who is despised, the one who is blamed for so many peoples' grievances. It might just send the message to the world that it is not really so tragic when American citizens are blown up, because they support the man who gave terrorists the reason to act.
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3,895,428 |
male
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Aquarius
|
12,July,2004
|
I am a 23-year-old Anglo-American boy. I have 23 years, but the statement is strangely discomforting when phrased in the French way. It seems to imply the question, What do I really have from having lived 23 years? What privilege might I rightfully claim thanks to my 23 years of experience? These questions are discomforting because I suspect that I might find myself rather embarrassed about how I have spent my time here below. Why boy? I suppose I should really write 'man.' Boy is perhaps out of bounds now that I order off the adult menu. But the term 'man' carries with it so much baggage in our tongue. If we spoke Greek, I would describe myself as 'anthropos' (man, person, human) as opposed to 'aner' (manly man). The latter seems to be closer to the common meaning of our 'man.' At any rate, let's cut to the chase. Why Anglo-American? I was born in Mountain View, California. I was raised in Painted Post, New York; Franklin Lakes, New Jersey; and finally Laguna Hills, California. When I was young I used to consider the New York Mets, the New Jersey Nets, and the San Francisco 49ers all my home teams (I suppose I was a little confused about where home was). I have lived in Santa Fe, New Mexico; San Francisco, California; Annapolis, Maryland; and Fort Collins, Colorado; I have never lived outside of the United States of America. So, why do I call myself Anglo? I am, as they say, a first generation American. Both of my parents were born and raised in London, England. They came over to the States in the 70's for a job opportunity and they successively bore children on both coasts of the continent. My older brother was born in Boston, Massachusetts. He has always been the difficult one. Perhaps it was the weather. I was born four years later (my parents are meticulous planners: they made sure to avoid having to negotiate two college tuitions at the same time), as I have said, in the Golden State. Ever since I was very young, making my way in a New Jersey suburb, I have considered myself a California boy. My hair turns blonde in the summer, while my brother is a brunette. To this day I have a deep, unspeakable love of the State. My sister appeared right on time, four years later, in Corning, New York. She was (and still is) a mystery to me, as younger siblings tend to be. I knew a time when she didn't exist and now she does. Who knows where she came from? I call myself Anglo because I was raised in an English household. My parents have certainly adopted many Americanisms over the years, but they could not help but raise their children British. It was unintentional. They did their best to assimilate: they adopted Heinz 57 in place of HP; they learned to pronounce burrito, salsa, and taco; and, as of late, they have even begun drinking coffee instead of tea. But the English character (I would rather say neurosis) runs deeper than these superficial icons. When one has an English mind living Stateside, there is no doubt that the English character exists. I wouldn't be surprised if it were something genetic, giving truth to the old phrase 'British blood' (I think Morrissey's new single has something to do with this). Being the middle child is always an unusual experience. It is particularly odd if the siblings on your flanks are, let us say, extreme. My older brother was a real rebel. My younger sister was a goody two-shoes. Their polarity produced a tremendously electric environment inbetween. Everyone watched me nervously, trying to determine which way I would lean. I thought they expected me to be something, clear and definable. Needless to say, in this position I often found myself feeling quite lost. The feeling has not gone away. In a month's time, I will leave the United States to move in with my Grandfather (whom I've never known very well) in Jolly old England. The reasons why? They are manifold. A primary motivation, however, is the feeling of being quite fuzzy on the who am I question. I don't really understand my British blood. I have found that I don't fit in very well here. Of course, I don't expect to entirely fit in over there, but perhaps I will get to know better which are the Anglo bits and which are the American ones.
|
3,895,428 |
male
| 23 |
indUnk
|
Aquarius
|
11,July,2004
|
It occurred to me a moment ago that blogging might be a jolly good way of keeping up the habit of writing. Letters are so infrequent and otherwise I don't really find the motivation. So here it is: my first blog. Do I expect anyone to read my blog? No (at least I wouldn't admit to it). I suppose it's rather silly really. The idea that my thoughts are published in some unknown corner of the W.W.W. motivates me to write more frequently; yet I know all the while that no one will ever actually read this. I suppose I might as well be writing these entries in my private journal. When it comes down to it, I am only writing to myself. One difference between the blog and my private journal, however, is that the former is technically public. There is the possibility that someone (albeit a rather bored or peculiar person) will stumble across my blog and read these lines. With this possibility in the back of my mind, my inner critic no doubt will stand more attentively at his post and perhaps I will manage to avoid a few more spelling and grammar mistakes than usual.
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3,464,342 |
female
| 27 |
Education
|
Aries
|
27,May,2004
|
This is a poem about growing up Latino in America, speaking two languages, living two lives, and trying to embrace a culture that doesn't embrace your native culture. It is a great look inside the mind of a Latino boy who is struggling with discrimation, poverty, and peer fighting. The poet uses powerful descriptions of the 'white' and 'ethnic' sides of the tracks to set the tone for the poem. It is centered around 2 brothers sneaking across the artificial boundary of the 'tracks' to buy groceries for their mother from a high end market. Along their journey, the brothers encounter a group of 'white' boys their age and older and are beaten up for being Latino and for entering their neighborhood. The fight scene is graphically illustrated with lines like ' a splattering head of soup' and 'he slid from their grasp like a rotten banana.' In that moment, these words made me feel ashamed to be an American. Racism in all its froms needs to be combatted. Maybe if everyone read more poetry and exposed themselves to different ideas, ethnicities and cultures, discrimination would become a thing of the past.
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3,464,342 |
female
| 27 |
Education
|
Aries
|
26,May,2004
|
This is a poem by Naomi Shihab Nye that juxtaposes peace and war in Palestine. The poet provides commentary on how bombing schools and stifling laughter have replaced a time in Palestine when 'Once singing would rise/in sweet sirens over the hills'. It is a sad, melancholy poem with a valuable lesson to teach. It illustrates the devastation of war on a civilization through focusing on daily rituals, celebrations, greetings and pastimes. And at its core is the reality of ethnic and religious tensions that perpetuate discrimination throughout the world.
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3,464,342 |
female
| 27 |
Education
|
Aries
|
26,May,2004
|
urlLink Our Fathers urlLink
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3,464,342 |
female
| 27 |
Education
|
Aries
|
26,May,2004
|
My Fathers sit on benches their flesh counts every plank the slats leave dents of darkness deep in their withered flanks. They nod like broken candles all waxed and burnt profound they say 'It's understanding that makes the world go round.' There in those pleated faces I see the auction block the chains and slavery's coffles the whip and lash and stock. Ny Fathers speak in voices that shred my fact and sound they say 'It's our submission that makes the world go round.' They used the finest cunning their naked wits and wiles the lowly Uncle Tomming and Aunt Jemima's smiles. The've laughed to shield their crying then shuffled through their dreams and stepped 'n' fetched a country to write the blues with screams. I understand their meaning it could and did derive from living on the edge of death They kept my race alive. (From The Complete Poems of Maya Angelou) urlLink
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
15,May,2004
|
As I sit in my nightly garden of thought, this came across earlier tonight. You see Spring has finally come to Montreal. It has been Winter for so long. Months and Months of darkness and cold. Moving to an area that experiences the 4 seasons of Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall was one of the best things I have ever done. You see in Miami the only two seasons you get is WET and Wetter. So I mused this evening as I sat with my hubby eating Chinese food in the Food Court below the Paramount theatre before seeing VanHelsing. When I moved here in April of 2002, there was snow on the ground. And for the first time since I was a small boy, I experienced a real seasonal change. That would be the last 'Snow event' for the 2001-2002 Winter season. So I moved into Summer with all its heat and humidity like Florida. When Wintter came again, in 2002 I had been dating my boyfriend Peter for a couple of months. One night I was on my way back to my apartment it was a night unlike any other night. As I walked down Verdun Avenue to my apartment it started snowing. It was just me the falling snow and the silence. I had come to respect and admire the silence for she had a way of her own. She is soft and hard in the same breath. She is calm and quiet in one breath and crazy and loud in the next. But in the end when Winter comes she brings a hush to every day life. Everything gets muted and everything gets quiet. When you walk down the street after a good snow fall all you hear is silence. When the Winter comes you lock down the Windows and everything inside your home gets quiet. The world gets shut out of the days and nights, silence comes and I love that silence. It took some time to get used to the silence. Not many people can be at peace and comfortable in their silence. I for one learned how. Silence is that place I can go at any time, like strolling through the halls of a monastery at OCA during a silent retreat, or the silence that greets you at the door of most Cathedrals and churches here in Montreal. I love the silence. I love to walk with her, when she greets us each Winter. And I am sad when she leaves. For now the world has awoken, Montreal is out in force. Cabin fever came on strong this past Winter. She was brutal, dark and long. She haunted and teased us for months with the never knowing if she would drop another foot of snow on us at any given time. Most people here say I wil loutgrow this the longer I live here, but we will see. When we bid goodbye to her this April, the city of Montreal starting coming out of their stupors, out of their self imposed hibernation. We took the plastic off the windows and for the first time we breathed in fresh air from the outside. The first night we slept with the windows open, I had a hard time with all the NOISE!!! God it was so noisy outside. i wish it were quieter in here, I can't sleep with all that noise. For God sakes will all you drunks, whores and night owls go to bed already!!! That's what you get for living on Cabot Square in Downtown Montreal. The SILENCE was gone. And I mourned her leaving for about a week. I am used to the noise again, for it will be with us until She returns to us and once again. When the Winter comes again, I will celebrate her and her silnce that she brings. For now, My Ode to Silence goes on every day. i have to seek the silence whereever I might be able to. Like in the space of a church, or in the whispering of the trees up on the Mountain or out in the mountains where the only noise you hear is the voice of silence blowing through the trees on a windy day. Life goes on, do you take the silence for granted, or do you know her? Now with the noise of the world in full force, you cannot hear her can you? You must seek the silence in between all the noise of life, lest you go crazy in the business of the day. Good night from Montreal. Jeremy
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
14,May,2004
|
Hi, this is my first entry after getting 'inspired' by my friend JJ. So yeah I'm an Oprah Kind of Guy. Love her and can't get enough of her. Many years ago after 9-11, I worked on her Oprah's Live Message Board, and I began to write. So, many years later I've learned many things and seen some wonderful places. I moved to Montreal from Miami after 34 years of living in the Sunshine State. But ya know, I never went to the beach. And I lived on the beach. WHO KNEW??? So Now I'm a Canadian, Living in Montreal. I am 2 years and 5 months Clean and Sober for the second time in my life, and I am also HIV positive now 12 years...WHOA WHO KNEW ??? I am a test pig for Doctors at the Montreal General Hospital, and I am in TIP TOP Shape. I've never felt better in my life. You see I pulled a geographic at 4 months sober to a foreign country no less, I got my citizenship cause my mother is Canadian, so I claimed birthright, EH? I worked at maintaining sobriety. I met my partner in a 'meeting' and we've been together ever since that day. We are going to be married this Fall. In the Spring of 2003, my aftercare counselor asked me one day, 'Jeremy, you've climbed a tall mountain, NOW what are you going to do for YOU?' So after some thought, I decided to go back to University after a 16 year hiatus, at age 36. You see I lived, so while the getting is good, why not? I have it all today and I do not complain. In April of 2004 I completed my first year at Concordia University Majoring in Religion. and I could not be more amazed at how I accomplished this last year, I still don't know. I lived every day as it came, never expecting anything, just walked my path, one foot in front of the other. And Here I am. You see writing every day is good. you see me for who I am. Honest, vulnerable, happy or sad, and sometimes downright INSANE. I've been writing every day since Oprah got me started when the GET REAL challenge began in the fall of 2001. I was a drunk, living a miserable life in Miami Beach, but every day I watched Oprah, and one day she spoke to me. I was still drinking after 9-11, but over a few months and divine intervention Oprah helped me get sober. That day was December 9th 2001. The day I picked up that 'white chip.' I've written her before, alas, no 'Oprah Moment' for me YET !!!! I have hope ya know. So this journal will adress the many things goig on in my life, and I will seek answers to questions that i may have at the time i write. I will share some anecdotes along the way and yes, I may get upset at times too eh? but that's the nature of staying clean and sober. enjoy... peace Jeremy
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
20,May,2004
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Hello, Here's one for Stevie ... You know I was born in the United States, I was raised and educated there. You see I am in a very uncomfortable with where I sit in the grand sceme of things. I don't know where I 'fit in.' As an American child - young person - Young adult - we are taught that The United States is the Superpower in the world. That we have the 'right ideas' about life, politics, the art of war, and we treat everyone with the utmost dignity and respect. I mean The Statue of Liberty and her huddled masses speech is something that immigrants saw, as they entered New York Harbor. I was raised and taught to love my country and defend her flag, to stand for democracy and vote my conscience. I was taught that 'we' had it best and that the rest of the world was 'less than' or 'uneducated.' and not 'Westernized.' I came to Canada to find my roots and explore the rest of my life. To live a better life and to do things I was 'unable' to do living in Miami. That was 2 years ago. I have explored my religious roots. I have found family that I never knew I had. I got sober in this city and I stayed clean as well. I grew up in many ways I thought I would never see in my life. I have seen things happen for gays and lesbians here in Canada that I thought I would never see. I have see 'History' made in my little pathetic lifetime. Last year I began the most ambitious project of my life, this comes second to my survival living with 'HIV/AIDS.' I went back to University. I was so afraid of my own shadow, and for the first semester I walked around campus like a child in a world full of adults. I did not know what to do first. It was with great appreciation that several of my professors became my mentors and helped me re-integrate into the world of education. They encouraged me to just try one day at a time, and like staying sober I had learned how to stay in my day. A year of University came and went. I do not know how I did it, all I know is this. I have done it. The first day of orientation the rector of Concordia University came and spoke to the thousand students that were there that day and he said this, it is important to WHY I am writing this post. [B]' We here at Concordia are educators and teachers. The One thing I want to impress upon you today is this: That when you leave Concordia, we hope that you will have learned something and that when you do graduate that your minds and hearts will be changed and that you will leave us differently than how you are sitting in those chairs out there. [/B] That stuck in my head every day that I went to class. I did learn a few things over the last year, but most of all I began to see things differently and I learn something new about myself every day. A couple of weeks ago I began Summer Term classes. I am taking Biblical History and Introduction to Islam along with Frech 201. Now I am not going to bring up topics that alot of us are tired of but I do need to say a few things. As an American raised in the U.S. we saw over history that when the U.S. goes to war, well, we do things all the way or not at all. Even IF they are wrong or politically not the 'right' thing to do. There is an ethic that is supposed to be followed. But as they have said 'War is hell.' This is NOT a war thread so please keep reading. Stay with me please. As an American we are supposed to love our country, and support our government and be patriotic and 'proud' of where we come from. This is where I am beginning to become ashamed. You see, I have been sitting in a biblical history class now for 3 weeks, studying things that have an eerie resemblence to 'Current Events.' When factions fought in bibcal times we know that Conqurers or occupiers came in and either imprisoned the people or chased them out of their own lands. People were stripped of their clothing to bring them down and keep them down. They were also humiliated and in some biblical historical data, their sexual organs were exploited and shown off. Does this sound INCREDIBLY similar to something going on right now? The U.S. as a nation went into a Middle Eastern area that is inhabited with people who lived there for centuries. A peoples different from US. That area of the world WAS the BACKDROP for many of these biblical stories we read today. Those human atrocities were committed then and they are being perpetuated even today. So I mused in class on Monday and I rasied this issus with the Masters Students in that Theology class along with my Porfessor, Mrs Marie-France Dion. She is a Hebrew Bible Scholar. Very well respected in the Biblical History and Religious circles. So I take what she teaches very seriously. I am also taking Introduction to Islam. Many of my Amercian friends and family are not very pleased that I would 'dine with the enemy' so to speak. But I persevered and stayed my course and stood my ground. It IS a class that I need for my major, so I had to take it. But I really WANTED to take it so that I could learn about the People of Islam and the Religion the world calls Islam. The first day of class my Professor ( who is an Islamic Scholar ) stood up in front of many Islamic men and women, Shi' ites and Sunnis and said to us that he was from Pakistan and he was a faithful man to his Muslim faith. That struck me very deeply. I happen to really like this man, as a man and a Professor. I learn something new every day. Stick with me here. Please !!! This is where I am right now, I need to write this down because if I don't I won't get anywhere. I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I don't know what I believe in anymore. This is not a crisi of faith. That is not the question or crisi point. When I came here, I was told to sew a Canadian Flag on my backpack, because then, Americans were not really looked well upon. So I did that. I got rid of everything that was American. Actually, I sent my pins and flags to soldiers in Iraq in 'care packages.' Over the last 2 years I have seen life in the U.S. and the World through different 'glasses' so to speak. When you live in a foreign country, things look and sound very different. I have seen the last two years come and go around the world. I have muslim friends who encourage me to ask my questions and look at things from different perspectives. To see Humanity as it is, from a different perspective than it had been presented to me in the U.S. If you honestly look at the U.S. and the way she lives, muslim people were strangers in a foreign land. After 9/11... they were then made 'suspects.' They were not of ( US or U.S. ). I love my muslim friends. They are proud people, but most of all they are human. They respect me and I have been to Mosque a number of times in the last year. I have changed. This week has been particularly difficult for me personally. Along with the stress of taking care of my hubby, a home, myself and my education, I am faced with this feeling that ' I don't know where I belong right now.' I am ashamed of what I have been brought up to be proud of. I am ashamed to admit that I come from the U.S. anymore. I feel such shame that it makes my skin crawl. I've never felt this kind of feeling before. I am 'Uncomfortable.' I know certain things now, 2 years later living in Canada. I have grown up so much in the last two years, that I am not the same man I was, when I came to Montreal. I feel sorry for those people in the Middle East. Those people that live in the area we call ' The Fertile Crescent.' The cradle of modern civilization. They were here way before ('WE') were here. My heart breaks when I think about this. I had to seek counsel from a man I trust today. One of my Professors, that IS my academic advisor, is also one of my closest friends. I went to see him on campus this afternoon. I told him where I was in my head. I explained all of this to him. And he just said, ' I am glad that this is happening to you. You see that professor is from the United States. And he knew exactly what I was talking about. I have sat in this mans classroom for 2 semesters, and I have exchanged conversations in and out of class, and I've written several exams and papers for him as well. So he knows me better than anyone else. Dr. Boisvert said that he agreed with me on my position and he said that this 'catharsis' that I am going through was very Important in my life. He said that he was glad to see that this was happening, as I said above. He said that he had hoped that I would get to this point. And he was happy for me. You see, Dr. Boivert is one of a few choice men, here in Montreal, who is invested in my life. As a student and as a friend. I told him that I did not feel comfortable in my own skin, that I was ashamed of where I came from. He said that that was ok. He said that this is what 'Higher Education' is all about. I've heard this said to me in meetings by my sponsor, that ' I am right where I should be.' He encouraged me to stay the course, to work through my feelings and he said that I did not need to 'find' my place yet, and he said that it was ok to be in this apathetic area. I was told that I should continue my searching and continue asking my questions. He said that eventually i would find my 'Place' in the grand scheme of things. He seems to think this is a very important part of my growth. So that's where I am right now. Very unsure of where I fit in, I am ashamed at how 'one sided an education' I had. I am ashamed at what I know as a 36 year old man. This means that, I have had the opportunity to see the place that I came from, for who she really is. And I don't like it. I don't like it at all. It makes me sick to my stomach. I have begun to see the world in a city that embraces the world. I attend a University who's professors encourage us to ask and to grow and to form our own opinions about the many areas of life and to look at what we are taught and try to understand it and if possible, integrate it into our lives. I am trying to do that. Today, I see the world from a 'world view' not from the U.S. view that I was raised and educated to look at. And that old view disgusts me to the pit of my stomach. And Prof Boisvert said that it was ok for me to feel that way. He welcomed this into my life. So I am sitting in in and trying to make sense of the way I feel and why. I will never look at anything the United States does with the same eyes as I did when I lived in the United States. I just thought it was important to write this down, for my own good, and as well as give Stevie something to read. And maybe some of you will have read to this point and have something to say about what I wrote. Maybe Turtle and Tugger and any other 'mentors' on LMAO will help me see something from their perspective and maybe give me some of their own wisdom from their 'vaults of life.' Thanks for sticking with it, I am done now. See ya, Jeremy
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
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Leo
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16,June,2004
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1) Last night I hooked up with this hot guy at the local corner bar. The problem is that my husband will kill me if he ever finds out. We’ve been together for 24 years and have never cheated on each other until last night. Should I tell him? *********************************************************************** 2) I’m 22 years old and in my 4th year of college at Alabama State University. I think I’m gay. How do I know and what should I do? I’m totally in the closet and my father, the pastor of the biggest Southern Baptist congregation is Alabama will probably disown me. Please help! ************************************************************************ Dear Cheater... I wonder why you went to that bar in the first place. Were you out for libations, or were you out to feed your sexual appetite as well. You say you have a Lover of 24 years, I gather that your frequency of sex may have fallen to an all time low, as it seems for some couples that sex does wane when the years mount up. Did you mean for this sex act to go on, or did it take you by surprise. I think that you wanted to cheat, and the excitement of getting caught was just the right fuel you needed to take that step over that imaginary line, I like to call 'CHEATING!' You know that you should not be in a relationship, if you have to go outside of the one you are in to satisfy something that your partner cannot give you. If your partner finds out will he A) kick you to the curb or B) forgive and forget, and will you ever tell him to begin with, or will you add this secret to the many that you keep locked away in your 'secret' diary??? OHHH, bad little boy. If you cheated here, how many times have you cheated already and did not 'Get Honest' with the man you should have had sex with. I hope this does not become habitual. Be careful the decisions you make, they not only affect you, but may fuck someone else up for life. If you make the decisions about screwing around, then please release your partner of the guilt he will carry thinking that it was his fault that YOU decided to cheat on him. Cheers Mary Advisalot ********************************************************************* Dear Alabama Virgin, They say that when we enter University that the goal of the instiutution we are in is to change the way we think and feel by the time we leave. I see that that is true for you. 22 And not know what to do..Ahhh decisions, decisions. Daddy is Pastor of a Baptist church you say, well, I think you need to find your way into the world. I like to say that There is NO MAN on EARTH who has God's Ear... so if you listen to man, you will always be disappointed. Listen to your heart and follow what it tells you. In my belief system God Loves me for who I am, not for what I am not. Therefore my young man, take your time, talk to as many people as you can. The more knowledge of the world you wish to enter, the better off you will be in the long run. Labels do more harm in separating humans than they do to unite them. I suspect that your first step in coming out is find someone you can trust to talk to, find a place you can live and be yourself. Young Man, Coming out IS a LIFELONG process, which is not to be taken lightly. It is not just a one day ' throw open the Doors and SAY 'HEY WORLD I AM GAY,' kind of event. This will begin to shape every part of your being, and mold you into the man you will become. Take your time. Trust only those you MUST and love those you can, while you still have time. People in our lives exists with us on a need to know basis, and Does DADDY need to know everything? no he doesn't. Gossip kills, so does homophobia. Be careful what you let loose into the public forum, because the implications of success will be determined by the support you have. Coming out is a big step, and the loss of family and friends, allbeit, for a little while, is a very high probability, that is why i suggest you find people to stand in your corner as the news gets disseminated. AND on YOUR terms as well. Not theirs... Church folk are strong in their convictions, but you should stand up and be the man you were meant to be. I would be saddened to read years from now that you are divorced and have young children, and the reason you left your marriage was because you realized that you were really GAY to begin with. Wasted time is Wasted time my young friend. Time is a precious commodity, once wasted it can never be regained. So young soldier, what are you going to do with your time now??? sincerely Mary advisalot. My name is Jeremy I am 36 and live in Montreal. I spend most of my nights here in front of this little box, doing this - what you read above. I spend my days in classes at Concordia University Majoring in Religion and Minoring in Interdisciplinary Studies in Sexuality. I've been a member here since September 2003. My words and posts speak for themselves. Some more bio-info. I have been HIV + for now going on 12 years, and I am still alive. One of the few POZ members on this board. I am ( 2 1/2 years, clean and sober) and i volunteer my time at a drug crisis center here in Montreal. Not to mention the hours I spend at my computer at night talking to the masses around the world every night. I am involved in a relationship that has had it's ups and downs, and I've been to hell and back, several times. The best thing us 'elders' can do is share a little insight with others. Getting the message out and helping another person is what we should do every day. It's all about sharing pearls of wisdom. If we don't all of our secrets will die in the grave we will eventually lay in.
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
15,June,2004
|
hi, i thought i should update this log today, since i have the time. i am going to open up another chapter of my life here, abd share some thoughts that may not be as normal as some, but if it helps someone then so be it. i met a new friend the other night, his name is Jon. Kinda interesting where we met and how we strted to talk about life. From a fetish list to a messenger chat, to BLOG. we crossed many lines of discussion about a great many things. A great deal of my time, especially at night, i sit here in front of this box, and i talk to people all over the world. i am a counselor, an activist, and HIV / addictions counselor as well. Last night i added another angel to my list of 'people' out there that I hope to stay friends with. Life throws us many things and decisions are part of them. Do I 'come out,' 'what do I choose to be?' and where do I find my place in the world? I don't have all the answers, but I do have part of the roadmap of life. My roadmap. It is the plan that I follow every day. For those out there looking for the route into the world, I should tell you that the more people you talk to the greater chance you might have to find part of 'YOUR' next portion of the map. You never know where a conversation will go from beginning to end, and really, it might amaze you when you open yourself up to someone far away. I am amazed at how many things i have experienced seem interesting to many people. My life, as complex and insane it can get, has its teaching value. This is for Jon. Hi there, I see your on your way to Singapore.. How kewl is that. I hope that one day you will find the courage to make that important choice you need to make. It will come when you are ready for it. It will appear to you and you WILL know it. But until then, follow the road, whereever it may lead you. It's all about the journey. The JOURNEY.... You never know who you will meet on the road of life. We are asked to start the journey only carrying what we need to. Please leave the samsonite luggage at home, excess baggage is useless. Leave all the things you dont need to carry at home. Memories remain in your heart. You do not need pictures or books or junk that will hold you back or slow your pace. If you need water, then find a water bearer. If you need food, find someone with a little bread. if there are elderly men or women on the road, walk with them a bit and help them on their way. Stop to talk to wayward journeymen. Ask them where they are going and see if you can't walk with them until they reach the city gates. The journey never ends. The journey goes on as long as we choose to walk. and walk we will, but never alone. One just needs to realize that we are never really alone. You never know when you are going to 'Entertain an Angel.' Walk tall my young soldier. We are here and we walk with you. If you need guidance then ask us, I am sure that Someone has something to share with you about their own journey. Lao Tse says: 'You can do great things, by just doing nothing.' Have a good day. Cheers and g'day from Montreal Jeremy
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
13,June,2004
|
so here it is another entry about something that is secret, my rubber fetish. I too have a profile on rubberlist.com at : http://members.rubberlist.com/jeremy... i meet all kinds of people from so far away. it seems so funny that all of a sudden one posts some pics and people find me attrractive and they want to talk to me. it makes one wondewr if we would ever meet, had we not had the courage to explore that which excites us???
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
26,June,2004
|
So it's Saturday and I've had the week for hell. Canada has celebrated the Fete Nacional on Thursday with a full day of parties and entertainment. Vive la Quebec. On Wednesday night I found that Peter has been drinking cough medicine by the bottle, behind my back. He had doped up to catch a buzz and watch the Matrix Revolutions. The movie crapped out and at 3am he got dressed to go to the video store and demand a new rental. Well he could not stand up and was stuttering and slurring. ******************************** needless to say I was not pleased and went bezerk. This ignited 2 days of fights and physical altercations between us. Peter HAD been clean and sober for almost 18 months. So much for that. And it was a shock to my mental stability to see him like this. And to know that he had pissed away his 'time' over the cough medicine HIGH. So now he starts over again, and I am living with a newcomer once again. I don't know if I have it in me again. He sleeps as I write and sleeps away most of his day and night. ******************************* Things are not always as they seem, So I am waiting for divine inspiration here. Its a good thing that Clay and Ryan are coming up next weekend. I can go hang out with Clay and Ryan can babysat Peter while I get out of the house. It's the July 4th Holiday in the States, so Clay and I will have a few days together. That will be great. ******************************** As for me, I am tired and frustrated with life. I need a break and I need to get out of here, as I have said before. Melbourne sounds like a far enough place to go for a vacation. He he he. I'm not going get that vacation from life yet. Peter is going to New York for 3 days the weekend of the 8th and 9th. So I will have a whole weekend to myself here. ******************************** I need to get 'Laid' yes I do. It has been so long and that is a sticking point with my hubby here. He has put me on the BAN LIST. So I don't get any action here, and that is making me a very bitter man. I want to go out and sow my wild oats, but cheating is not an option. I believe that if you have to go outside a relationship for something, then you don't deserve to be in a relationship. So I eat sour grapes. ******************************** other than that, classes are over, the exams have been written and turned in. Now I wait for my grades to come out. I've applied for assistance next fall for my classes since I cannot handle the pressure of 12 credit semesters, taking care of Peter and being HIV Positive. I just cannot do it. I will make myself sick and die over the stress. So I get to play my ace card. ******************************** I've made some wonderful new friends online, and now we belong to a little 'cam group' we sit and chat, and like a friend has said, to see expression when we talk is really great. We have a 2 continent chat every day. Very kewl. Well that's all I have for today. See ya...
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
22,June,2004
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It's Tuesday and Summer classes are over. I handed in my last final exam. Now I am on vacation until September. Now what do I do with myself? My relationship is falling apart, all my friends are in this little box and live 1/2 a world away and I am here alone trying to cope with this shit I have been putting up with for months now. I am tired and need a break. I just need to get the fuck out of here for a few weeks. If i only had the money. I have made some great new friends and they keep me sane these days. As for Peter, well, I don't know if we'll be together much longer, if this crap keeps up. I am not happy and it is beginning to wear down on me more than usual. I am just an irritable mess lately, not to mention that the weather outside is frightful. that does nothing to help my mental and emotional being. So im sitting here jamming to launch.com all alone here. I'd rather be alone with myself then in the room with someone who doesn't want to be with me. is this the in good times and bad times test??? well i think i am failing. im not sure what to do at this point. that's all i have for right now, will write more later.
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
07,July,2004
|
hello It's been a bit since my last entry, and i don't know where i am today. i don't know what will happen in the next few days, in regards to Peter and I and right now i really do not care. Peter has drained two bank accounts and made arrangements to go to New York City to see some shows, knowing full well, we have a $1000.00 cad tuition bill due the CC is maxed out and hes left me with $100.00 for the next 5 days. He says he needs this trip, and it's all about him. So be it. ************************************************************************ I am so tired of being alone, in a house built for two. This mental disease is far greater a problem than i had anticipated. My friend Clay came up last weekend and all Peter did was sleep and mope around the house, which agitated several heated confrontations infront of our guest. Then Peter had a massive emotional breakdown on Sunday Night, which did not help things. ************************************************************************** what am I supposed to do now. And Where am i to get the emotional, physical and sexual contact that I so crave tonight? where do I get the 'all about me' feeling. where do I go from here? I have no fucking clue. Peter leaves on a midnight bus to NYC and I am damn not gonna babysit him in the terminal for 2 hours before his bus. No way in hell. This is his trip and thats what he told me - so he can go on his own, and come back on h is own. I just cannot bring myself to see him off, knowing that he is leaving me alone. without a clue where I stand, and when it will be my turn to get what I need. **************************************************************************** I am tired of giving and giving and putting up with this mental 'masterbation' that I get every day. Oh I have mental problems, so I cannot do anything. OH i am so tired and weak and i am not going to respond to you - BUT if you give me $500.00 Cad I will go to new york, see some shows and be better for the trip. but FUCK YOU while you wait. this is insanity. he promises that when he comes back he will be accountable. well ' the check is in the mail as well.....' i am in way too deep. ****************************************************************************** Where do you draw the line on what is enough??? I have had enough. What about ME? who is going to take care of me? Who is going to see me through this weekend? How am I going to cope with all this insanity??? I don't know how I am going to deal with this. ****************************************************************************** Where do you draw the line between empathy for mental disease, the excuse of the disease as a problem, therefore I will not or cannot try to change, and where do you say OK get off your fucking ass and pay me some attention and make me feel like I am important. ******************************************************************************* This is killing me slowly... killing me emotionally, killing me sexually and killing me spiritually. I don't need this .. HIV is taking me slowly as it is, it does not need any help. I am so trying to stay above the water here. I just don't know where to turn.
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
16,July,2004
|
another passes by and life just keeps giving me little things to look at and think about. My other life has me very occupied and i don't spend alot of time in my oldlife anymore. Living under the same roof with someone i don't even interact with anymore. it's getting to the point that i really don't care. There is so much going on for me right now that i don't care to stop and reflect of the life that i had a few short weeks ago, to the life I have today. ****************************************************************** So many people count on me for things, friends that need a kind word, a prayer and a thought, or just someone to be there when they get home from doctors appointments and dates with strangers. a new door into my soul has been opened and i don't regret walking throught that door either. A wise man once said that ' Regrets are the past weighing down your present!' so no regrets .... ******************************************************************* what can i say about today, but my star is on the rise and the sun is rising in Montreal as I write this. I've seen alot of sunrises from my window. this has been an incredible time for me. and i've enjoyed every minute of it. I don't know what to do with the life I left behind and how I am to address it. I don't htink that I am going to either. ******************************************************************* People, so many people in my life today, my cup runneth over. There is no time to stop now, one can only move forward with the momentum guiding me in that direction. I have worries that Jon is going to have to face a very hard task, and I worry that I cannot physically be there for you - but know I am there as close as i can be for you. You are such a strong young man with such promise. I fear that the light may go out on your soul so please ' Hold ON' to the light and know you are not alone. ******************************************************************** Family.......... what to do with them. I can't go backwards only forwards. No looking back now. I cannot get saddled down with their issues and problems, that's why i left Florida in the first place. They don't give a shit about me so why should I them. Ah the Burning question of the heart of a servant of God. Should my care and compassion have limits to those who have abused my good graces and spit on my name...why yes i think so. ********************************************************************
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
14,July,2004
|
I slept all day today. I have been on the go around the clock for many days now and i needed some rest. So I went to bed very early this morning. The sun was already coming up. I woke up after having a dream that went on and on. I was out and about in this dream. and I ended up in a hospital with a spear through my head. I was laying on a guerney and i was wide awake experiencing everything painlessly, it seemed. they ( who ever ) was trying to remove the item from my head. without success. So eventually they cut the end off of the object and slid it back out of my head. there was no damage perse, it was dream. but i remember feeling the whole procedure. from beginning. without anesthesia. what does this mean, and why did I have the dream? ***************************************************************************** On another note. I have had a very eventful week. I met some really great people and Jon and I are becomming really great friends. I find him dynamic and fun to be around, in that 'around' sense of the word. So three nights ago I was pmmed by this man in Kent named John. We hit it off famously. He said some very interesting things to me in our first conversation. Last night he had checked on some boots i wanted from the U.K. and said they were on their way en route to me via kent. when i asked him how much they were, he said don't worry about it, that I could work off the balance when i go to the U.K. in December. Through our discussion John and I talked about a mutual friend whom He knew personally and i know from our online relationship. So I'm off to the U.K. over the Christmas Holidays for some really steamy times. ******************************************************************************** I met a local rubberman here in Montreal this week as well. And we are destined to get together in the next to near future. He has a thing for tall rubber boots, well so do I. we have a weekend planned soon. and I cannot wait. My star is on the rise and things look good. I realized that I had to take charge of my life and set my boundaries and persue my goals and everything started happening. It's all good. ********************************************************************************* So grasshopper, dad is doing better. I am so glad for that. I guess that prayers are answered every day, and we have to be mindful of that. The universe gives up what we need when we need it. You should know that by now, as well, You are loved. What ever happens now, is in the Creator's hands. Be prepared for everything and anything. enjoy life, meet people and have a good time. Wasted Time is Wasted time. Time is a precious commodity, once wasted it can never be regained. *********************************************************************************** As for home, all is well, quiet. Peter is ok and things are ok for now. nothing else to report. his trip to New York was good. And he came home with a few changes and revelations. we'll see where he takes them. No expectations, no disappointments.
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
07,August,2004
|
One day I was at Indigo, my favorite bookstore in all of Montreal. And there was this blue dust covered book called Eragon. I love it when a book jumps off the shelf and says 'BUY ME.' After long deliberation and inner struggle I decided to pick it up. Having been a many year, multiple book, Harry Potter supporter, I just could not bring myself to betray that and go read another book like that. Harry Potter and I share the same birthday, (July 31st ) it does say that HP was born on July 31st in book one. What a coinkidink!!! Anyway, Eragon was a boy who lived in Carvahall in the land of Alagaesia...who happens upon a sapphire object, which turns out to be a Dragons Egg. Not just any dragon's egg, mind you. It was a special dragon's egg. Hence begins the trilogy of Eragon in ' INHERITANCE.' book 1. I get caught up in books, visually and descriptively. I get into books, I escape into worlds unknown. I live in my character's heads. I see with their eyes. And I become them. Such is the world of a great reader. I can sit for hours upon hours reading like this and I have done that. Cup of Earl Grey, a rainy day or night...comfy sheets and a great book. Eragon became part of my lexicon. And So here Eragon holds the Court in my blog. I just thought you would like to know who Eragon was. You can get info on Eragon and check in the website and fan club of Eragon at( www.alagaesia.com). Book Two is in the works by Christopher Paolini. He's such a great writer. I may be getting older, but I still read like a young boy. Excited about the next adventure and the traveling of the journey. Hell, why not. The world is so strife with war and pain and pestilence. To escape into a world never seen is greater than living in misery and fear all the time. They say 'Eragon' will make it to the silver screen...I can't wait for that. Eragon fans UNITE..... bye... i love you jon.
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
04,August,2004
|
It's Saturday and I am home alone. Peter has goone to Ottawa for a week with Ryan. He said I needed a break to gather my head and spend some time taking care of me. Now, I can let my hair down, grab my rubber and spend some quality time alone. Yesterday there was a huge blowout fight and it got nasty. Ryan intervened and is going to talk to Peter and get him the help he needs since my methods are not working for him. I've got a week to myself. OH, the Joy .... I made an incredible connection with a man named Vince last night on (WRM) World Rubber Men. He saw my profile and we commenced communications. He's right up my alley, and was very intersted in talking to me. He is from NYC and is pondering a move up over the Northern Border. How auspicious the timing! We'll see what comes of that. Maybe there will be a future there. I don't know. I know better than getting my hopes up. My little grasshopper........yes ( YOU ) has realized that sex and doing da nasty repeatedly depleats his energy and his hormone level. HA HA HA everything in moderation my friend. gotta rest and reload the gun and let it have a rest for a few days. Learning the system of the body when venturing into new territory is very important. Every thing is a give and take. Each system of the body works and reacts differently. When you ask the body to do something, you better be ready to answer to your body, when it says...ok i'm done now. time to rest or else!!! Every time we learn a new task, or pleasure and every time we ask to body to give us pleasure, it always asks for some 'type' of repayment. Lao Tse says..'We can do great things, by just doing nothing.' A friend has told me that I should start writing my fiction stories again, like I had in the past to secure some free membership time on the new 'rubbermen site.' So sometime I have to sit down and start writing again. I wrote a 50 page story for the Mr. S Dungeon site when I was a member there under the title 'Shane.' if any of you are members there, you can read some of my work. If you would like a copy of Shane for your home reading, just email me at ([email protected]) and i will gladly send you a copy. It's a great Leather, M/s Story. I got my rubber catsuit back from repair yesterday. And when Ryan and Peter went out to lunch, needless to say, i was changed in 30 seconds. I did not know how much I missed feeling that rubber and sliding my body into the suit .........oh I love rubber. I can't get enough of it. I am not sure what the future holds for me in the shape of men and relationship, but I am keeping all my options open. I have a trip planned in the near future ' Funds willing ' I will be able to make it. I need to sort my passport next week. I wish i had a million dollars, that would make life so much easier. I don't have anything else to report. But I will ask something of YOU if you are reading this. I always enjoy comments and wisdom from others. So if you have something to share, if only a sentance then please, feel free to leave a note. or email me, at my home email. Always remain teachable. For your life is over, when YOU decide that there is nothing more to learn. In the words of Oprah Winfrey... 'Live your best life Everyday...' See ya Jeremy i love you jon.
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
04,August,2004
|
greetings to the world now looking in to my blog. Since i added statcounter, i've seen where all my visitors are coming from. i never thought people would be interested in reading my ramblings, but it's all good. So what's new with me? My friend Ryan is here this week visiting and Clay is coming on Friday evening. The family is all here. it's good to see family. Well, the one I choose as my family. So, i have a few thoughts to write about tonight. First: my birthday was on Saturday and i did not get a card or a phone call from my biologicals. So i let it go and last night it finally got to me that I wanted to know why my egg doner did not call. My biologicals dont get names or titles for that's what they are, simply, biologicals. Anyway, i called her and asked how she was ans started a normal conversation without opening up that can of worms. well my biological did. she said that she didnt send me a card but she thought about me on my birthday. ok fine. WHY NOT? i asked her calmly why she didn't call? she replied that she did not have long distance to Canada on her phone, not to mention my other biological would not allow that, he thinks i am a deserter for leaving the United States and coming to Canada. She said that SHE was not made of money. I ventured to ask why she could not go buy an international calling card for $10 and keep in in her phone book. She started calling me a whore and a failure and said that i could care less for them, yet i continue to call on a regular basis. There is something you need to know here. My biological ( f ) has always maintained that I was the Mistake that never was supposed to have happened. My biological ( m ) is a battered wife who is married to a raging alcoholic who beats and mentally abuses her. She wil lnever leave. for better or worse right?? what the fuck. When i ' Came Out' I moved away from home cause my father was a fag basher. Homophobe. He hates Fags!! When I was diagnosed HIV positive 13 years ago, my father humiliated me in front of a housefull of guests on Christmas 1997, by seating my separately from the others at dinner at a card table in a separate room, with platic plates, silverware and paper napkins. Alone. They would keep bleach bottles in all the bathrooms, and lock me in the house at night, not allowing me to use the phone, cook, or have friends come to visit me when i was there. ( I am 37 now). I never went home again for another holiday. THE GREATEST PUNISHMENT TO THEM IS THE EMPTY CHAIR AT HOLIDAYS. AND EVERYBODY KNOWS WHY THAT CHAIR IS EMPTY. When I moved to Canada is 2002, my father called me a deserter for leaving the U.S. but here I have prospered, and survived alot better than when i was in Miami. My biological ( m ) comes from Canada. My father has alienated all the Canadians out of her life, by making her choose over family or husband. she cannot have both. Now i am alienated as well. Much deeper. My step mother ( nancy ) she IS mother to me, has always encouraged me to keep a door open and try. and I've done that for now 37 years, only to have them slam the door in my face, when i venture to open it. It's very sad. I am a family oriented man, who lives to have family, and the two people who agreed to bring me into the world, will not be. It breaks my heart. Being in recovery has been difficult because i cannot close that chapter of my life. I cannot make amends for the past, and i cannot move forward without them because i dont have closure in my molestation charges. ( my BIO (F) molested me when i was a child...now you know ) And I don't have certain answers that I deserve to know about. BUT i have moved forward, i have to live my life without them, and so i do that, to the best of my ability. What happened to men and respect and dignity? because i am different makes me less? being Gay does not give me rights in their book, and being HIV positive just kills me, in their eyes. Now i live in Canada makes me persona non-grata. sad very sad. The rubber list is going to a premium site. I don't think i will be going with them. I cannot afford the charges added to my budget. I already belong to JUB and pay for member services there. I get forums, porn and stuff there. I may change over sometime, but with school starting soon, i won't be online very much. time to buckle down. My dearest friend ... ( yes YOU ) has a problem and comes back to me for speculation and advice. well bud, you know what you must do I've given you my advice. Don't do what you did again until you have some definitive answer about whats aggrivating the sysytem. You cannot take any chances - we are sitting on the Last Watch, and I will tell you, I don't want YOU on my last watch list allright. I love you and i want you to be well and healthy. Specualting and not finding out the truth is just suicidal. You know better than that. that's all i have for you today. Cheers from Montreal Bye jon I love you ...
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
03,August,2004
|
I heard a story on the radio just now, and I think that I shall never think the same ever again. Please remind me when i complain. An elderly man walked into a hospital triage area, because he needed to get stiches removed from his finger. An orderly asked him why he was there and the man told him why. He was in a hurry and had a doctors appointment. He asked the man to take a seat, knowing full well that it would be more than an hour before someone looked at him. He saw the man looking at his watch tentatively and So the orderly went and talked to one of the doctors and got the necessary items to do the procedure. He began to talk with the man over the few minutes he was there, and inquired about the elderly mans health, he asked ' do you have a doctor's appointment?' No, the elderly man replied, I have to go eat breakfast with my wife. The orderly smiled, the elderly man had told him that she was in a home for the elderly and was suffering from alzheimer's disease. The orderly inquired, ' ' do you have breakfast with your wife every morning?' Yes the man replied. The elderly man continued, 'She has not known who I am, for now 5 years, and I have breakfast with her every morning.' The orderly inquired 'why do you do that every morning?' The elderly man replied..... ' She may not know who I am, But I remember who she is.' True love is what is right now, what was, what will be, and what will not. It deals with things as they come, whether good times or bad times. Good night jon. I love you
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
02,August,2004
|
I thought it was important to archive this conversation for posterity to share my experience withJon, my rubber buddy, on his FIRST newly acquired Rubber Shirt ... OMFG rubber1st (1:13:35 AM): OMG OMG OMG jercan03a (1:13:35 AM): what? jercan03a (1:13:55 AM): did it come? jercan03a (1:14:05 AM): well jercan03a (1:14:16 AM): what>? jercan03a (1:14:31 AM): oh my jercan03a (1:14:40 AM): OPEN IT DAMMIT rubber1st (1:15:01 AM): thumpa thumpa thumpa Jon had a smile on his face here that was INCREDIBLE .... jercan03a (1:15:20 AM): rip jercan03a (1:16:03 AM): well lets see it jercan03a (1:16:17 AM): very nice rubber1st (1:16:23 AM): OMG jercan03a (1:16:24 AM): take off your clothes jercan03a (1:16:29 AM): and try it on rubber1st (1:16:29 AM): it feels and smells so nice jercan03a (1:16:38 AM): no talc jercan03a (1:16:43 AM): just put it on rubber1st (1:16:45 AM): w/o talc? jercan03a (1:16:47 AM): yes jercan03a (1:16:48 AM): w.o jercan03a (1:16:53 AM): DO IT rubber1st (1:17:09 AM): i think they coated it with silicone jercan03a (1:17:18 AM): put the shirt on jercan03a (1:17:24 AM): stop stalling rubber1st (1:17:26 AM): feels slick and you can see it's shiny rubber1st (1:18:08 AM): hanf on john is going to watch too jercan03a (1:18:41 AM): will you get on already jercan03a (1:20:11 AM): ZIP jercan03a (1:20:13 AM): ZIP jercan03a (1:20:15 AM): ZIP jercan03a (1:20:28 AM): yeah jercan03a (1:20:32 AM): thats smart jercan03a (1:20:34 AM): very nice jercan03a (1:20:46 AM): OHHHHH YOU BAD PUPPY YOU rubber1st (1:20:49 AM): wow very short sleeveve jercan03a (1:21:01 AM): sleeves are ok jercan03a (1:21:19 AM): YOU'VE ARRIVED rubber1st (1:22:18 AM): it feels good! Yes, Jon has arrived into his Rubberboydom... and he looks smart too.. rubber1st (1:22:31 AM): now i wish it had long sleeves He wishes now, wait till he gets a full suit and goes out into public ... he will wish for no sleeves at all... sleeves are very HOT inside. You sweat alot in a full suit. Almost sweat too much to tolerate unless of course you are in a bondage situation. jercan03a (1:23:06 AM): no sleeves are hot jercan03a (1:23:11 AM): you will sweat too much jercan03a (1:23:17 AM): start with that rubber1st (1:23:26 AM): the collar also feels weird jercan03a (1:23:32 AM): long sleeves get in the way if your out clubbing jercan03a (1:23:36 AM): you need arms free rubber1st (1:23:40 AM): like the front is higher than the back jercan03a (1:26:13 AM): HOTTT MAN rubber1st (1:26:29 AM): thank you jercan03a (1:26:31 AM): SEXY jercan03a (1:27:39 AM): Very Nice jercan03a (1:28:22 AM): I LIKE IT rubber1st (1:28:56 AM): it feels damn good Yeah you don't know how good it feels until you rub up against another Rubberman in his rubber as well rubber1st (1:29:00 AM): so do i jercan03a (1:31:12 AM): very hott jercan03a (1:31:23 AM): now Blog your arrival rubber1st (1:31:25 AM): thank you jercan03a (1:31:28 AM): this is important rubber1st (1:31:37 AM): YES! i nearly forgot about that jercan03a (1:32:13 AM): yes jercan03a (1:32:22 AM): nearly forgot as you CAME all over yourself He had not had that all important FIRST RUBBER ORGASM YET .... rubber1st (1:33:34 AM): no i'm enjoying it.. rubber1st (1:33:36 AM): it's tight rubber1st (1:33:54 AM): like the longer i wear it it seems to be gripping closer jercan03a (1:34:28 AM): yes it will form fit to you jercan03a (1:34:46 AM): it will learn your body curve jercan03a (1:35:00 AM): STOP STRETCHING THE SLEEVES rubber1st (1:35:14 AM): hehe.. it was running up jercan03a (1:35:21 AM): well unzip it a bit jercan03a (1:35:35 AM): there rubber1st (1:36:30 AM): i actually do look like i have a body now.. Self Esteem Grasshopper... You look good and you Feel Good and YOU ARE GOOD Jon knows now how incredibly SEXY,COOL, And HOT he looks...WOW AMAZING!!! jercan03a (1:36:41 AM): ha ha ha rubber1st (1:36:51 AM): amazing this, this rubber1st (1:36:54 AM): thing jercan03a (1:36:59 AM): what thing? rubber1st (1:37:08 AM): rubber jercan03a (1:37:11 AM): yes it is Here Jon started to rub his tits under the rubber - AHHH sensitive arent they. omg my tits jercan03a (2:40:22 AM): what about your tits? rubber1st (2:40:34 AM): it feels so nice through the rubber jercan03a (2:40:37 AM): yes jercan03a (2:40:58 AM): especially when you are tied down and cannot move and someone is playing with your nipples through the rubber jercan03a (2:41:14 AM): OHHH thats really HOTTT rubber1st (2:41:38 AM): oh you dirty pig jercan03a (2:41:42 AM): thats right I am a Dirty Pig, that's what makes me unique... The bad angel on Jon's shoulder. And John and Michael are the other BAD angel on the Other Shoulder. You've been taken over to the dark side... 'Feel the Force, Jon, it is strong within you!' ' OH MY ' Jon's first realization that He LOOKS like a million bucks...YES YOU DO. rubber1st (3:49:31 AM): mannn.. i look good.. jercan03a (3:49:44 AM): yes you do rubber1st (3:50:01 AM): just looking at myself now can be a turn on For the rest of this you'll have to ask him for the details. But it was such an honor to share these moments with him, via cam and messenger. My little Rubber Family is taking shape. See 'What Dreams May Come, Jon, Your Dreams.' To see Jon Really smile to see the joy on his face was a kodak moment. Something I hope you never forget. Because you have arrived and you deserve every great thing in your life. Goodnight Rubber Boy... I love you Jeremy
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
01,August,2004
|
Hey guys, I haven't blogged in a while so here is my latest adventure. After many months of worrying about my failing relationship, it came to an abrupt end this week. My (EX) who suffers from Bipolar 2 (rapid cycling) has pushed me over the egde of my own sanity. And So I choose to move on with my life in the last month. The Rubberlistand all those on it like JON ( YES YOU ) and friends like BOB and Jason, and Stuart,have been very supportive.
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
08,August,2004
|
Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining............ Sunday afternoon and it's raining cats, dogs and little fishes in montreal. so i'm going back to bed since i've had some lunch. my rub bud ( yes YOU ) tells me he had an exciting night, needless to say he did not DOCUMENT it anywhere for me to read, you shit !!! oh well. good things come to those who wait right?? Doug is due in Montreal in a few hours so i need to get some more beauty rest in. nothing new to report from a few hours ago. I'll see ya later. bye.. love you Jon
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3,345,427 |
male
| 37 |
Student
|
Leo
|
08,August,2004
|
Well, Saturday night was fun, the Bronx was busy and there were not a whole lot of men to look at really... lots of men, nothing to gawk at. sad. but i did interact with the one person i wanted to. a very sexual leatherman who made mad passionate love to me it was the most fabulous experience. wasn't just a quick in and out visit, but a Long, slow, sensual, erotic build up to the finish line. Afterwards we sat and talked for a long while. I may see him again. Who knows... but he was great. When i left him, the night went downhill and did not start climbing again. I guess I got home at 5am. my rubber bud isn't on, so ( YOU ) can read this later i guess. My first night alone at home, wtih no company to entertain, no meals to cook, and no misery as far as the eye can see. I am not sure what i wanna do right now, but enjoy the silence and myself. I napped earlier before going out and I had that sequence of NIGHTMARES again. The ones where i'm paralyzed in bed and cannot move and everything is moving really slow, a Paralysis dream. But in this nightmare, there is something or Someone hovering over me, and not the kind of benevolent spirit either. It freaked me out. I got up three times to check the door to make sure it was locked. That freaked me out. That sequence of dream only comes during a NAP session, not during a regular sleep pattern. Doug, the bondage, bastinado boy flies in this evening for a week of international language school. We have some 'PLAY' sessions scheduled for our evenings. Gonna get some BASTINADO training in this week to augment my varied KINK library. At least i don't have to cook or entertain him around the clock. he's staying on the Plateau. so that's my update for Saturday / Sunday morning. Goodnight ... i love you Jon.
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3,762,456 |
male
| 14 |
indUnk
|
Virgo
|
26,June,2004
|
So, yea. this is my first time to do one of these things so i am just kinda experimenting rite now. ummmmm, baylor was awesome! i met cool ppl like danielle, devon, courtney, robyn, malia, and John aka POODLES. ummmmmmm idk what else to say cuz nothings happening rite now, but expect more from me later. adios
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3,762,456 |
male
| 14 |
indUnk
|
Virgo
|
29,June,2004
|
Well... today was kinda weird. i had to spend like 4 hours with my grandparents which is always kinda awkward cuz my grandad has hearing problems and his wife isn't my real grandma cuz she dies. so its really awkward for me, but thats just life i guess. I'm thinking about going up to see a movie with danielle, devon, and connor. we might just walk around the mall though, i'm still not sure. I GOT GROUNDED FROM THE COMPUTER! i was 'onine too long' according to my mom, so if i randomly sign off, its probably cuz my parents just got home or something. Hmmm, what else is there to talk about??? Well, i found some more cd's that i really want: 1. Modest Mouse 2. Lit O yea, the edge is giving away tickets all this week for edgefest and i keep trying to call in and win some. But i've never really been good at winning stuff, so i doubt i'll get anything. My parents are making me play my clarniet like every day all of a sudden. Its just cuz they want me to make a good impression on my new private lessons teacher. WEll, i've got nothing else to say so later Ryan ps- I'm trying to fix my digital camera so i can get a freaking picture on my site somewhere, but its not working all of a sudden... idk why you would care cuz if you are reading this then you already know me... well thanks for making me feel stupid! bye
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3,762,456 |
male
| 14 |
indUnk
|
Virgo
|
10,July,2004
|
Wow... its been way too long. Well for those of you know dont already know, i was grounded from the comp for about 2 weeks and i just got ungrounded today. I am still grounded from doing anything with friends till tuesday. I helped out at the band hall for the whole last week and we did folders and keys and stand tunes for every instrument... and so on. so thats what i've been doing. oyea... DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL IS THE BEST BAND EVER!!!! (sorry, i'm just hooked rite now) So i went to go see White Chicks (SUCKED) and i feel asleep durring it. So the next thing i know i am dreaming that i am watching the same movie, but instead of with my family i am watching it with some friends. And i start talking to one of my friends about how stupid the movie is and she is like 'yea, this is a waste of money'. The next thing i know she leans over and kisses me. so i kiss her back and we just kiss for a few seconds and then the next thing i know we are like making out major! and this goes on for like 10 min or so. Then the movie is over and she looks at me and she's like 'i changed my mind... they undercharged for that' and then she gives me a good-bye kiss and drives home. Yea, it was crazy, maybe it'll happen some day who knows. Well i have a big list of cd's i want now because i found some good christain stuff i want... 1. Dashboard Confessional- Swiss Army Romance 2. Spiderman 2 soundtrack 3. The new Lit cd 4. The Matthew West cd 5. The new Pillar cd 6. The new OC Supertones cd 7. The new Sanctus Real cd 8. much much more... I NEED MONEY!!!! I'm only like $31 more until i am out of debt and then i can go get whatever i want. Well Danielle is leaving to go on vacation on monday and then leaving at the end of the month for a soccer tournament in New York so idk what i'm gonna do with friends. If you wanna do anything then call me (after tuesday, cuz i'm grounded still). I will talk to you all later... good night
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3,762,456 |
male
| 14 |
indUnk
|
Virgo
|
26,July,2004
|
Well.... there is so much do say that i have no idea where to get started. I guess i can start off by saying that the John Mayer/ Maroon 5 concert was AMAZING. I can honestly say that i have never been to anything like that before and i am sooooo looking forward to next year. His passion when he is playing is unbelieveable and really obvious when you see him live. He was also on the front of 'Guitar Players' Magazine and they said that he was gonna be the next Hendrix or Clapton! He did a Clapton song that just blew me away because i didn't know he was that good at guitar. well this was the playlist in order that he did... Bigger Than My Body Why Georgia New Deep 3x5 Blues in C Come Back To Bed My Stupid Mouth Something's Missing Old Love (Eric Clapton) Your Body is a Wonderland No Such Thing Clarity ENCORE Home Life (solo) Comfortable (solo) 83 (full on) Yea, its probably the best 50 dollars that i have ever spent... EVER. On john mayer's jounal site he said 'This may very well have been the best crowd of the summer thus far - you guys came to have yourselves a good little Friday night. The Blues jam killed, everyone was on fire up in here, tear the roof off. I was taking pictures in Old Love and caught myself laughing it was so good. So good. Thanks to everyone for making it a standout night.' ROCK ON! Other than that there hasn't been a whole lot going on. Leadership camp was pretty borring, but i actually did learn more than i expected that i would. I am NOT looking forward to full band camp because 2-a-days suck and it leaves no time for friends, only rest and food. I went to youth group and connor was in Holland so i didn't have anybody to hang out with except for my sis and her crazy cool friends (melanie and kelsey). And who did i see there that was visiting that i talked to about church not more than 4 days before????? The totally awesome Lisa Manson and she waved, so naturaly i waved. I also got to see my old best friend... the awesome... the newly declared '#1 fish'... Blake Mankin!!!!!! and we talked and decided that we had to meet for coffee eventually and catch up so i could give him the 'Ryan Crombar, Hish School 101 talk'. That kid is crazy cool. I went to the mall today so i could catch up with connor and so that he could tell me all about Holland, which was cool. But danielle and devond couldn't go up there, so it looked kinda weird with 2 guys walking around the mall together... o well, it was fun anyway. I re-visited the jacket that i realllly want from American Eagle and i also went to Virgin and looked at a few CD's WEll, in closing, hopefully i will be able to have a fantastic talk with the o-so-great Jaclyn tomorrow. OH YEA! the clarinet camp concert is tomorrow, which i am attending, and i get to sit with Olivia and her mom! (If you dont know Olivia... well then you're just missin out, cuz shes awesome). Well, i am gonna go because i am sick of typing and i am on AIM also. so, i guess i will talk to you later I'M GETTING A PHONE AND IT IS SO TITE (flip, camera, front screen, web, etc) O YEA!!!!!! (Samsung a670, check it out) Later!
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3,572,381 |
male
| 40 |
indUnk
|
Virgo
|
20,June,2004
|
Today I am feeling good. And it is unusual. Everyone has their bad days right? Well I am having one of those good ones. I don't feel the weight of the world on my shoulders today. I don't feel like hiding under the covers today. I feel like going for a nice walk. Now underneath this inexplicable feeling of peace and hope is a curiousity of Why? What did I do (or not do) to feel this way? Was it something I ate? Did I do something to somehow flood my brain with endorphins? I think I will just enjoy it while it lasts. I don't want to give you the impression that anyone ever notices my dark moods. When I am around people I can actually force myself into a sunny mood most of the time. I did a bit of praying yesterday. I have been noticing some things that tend to help me have more good days. Praying daily seems to help. Exercise seems to help. One thing I am realizing is that being self absorbed is very unhealthy. And I think as a society we are all way too self absorbed. If you think about it isn't being self absorbed just another way of focusing on what we don't have and how to get it? Or a session of self pity for the things we will never get? Now I am sitting here in my dark room writing a blog instead of going out on that walk...
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3,572,381 |
male
| 40 |
indUnk
|
Virgo
|
18,June,2004
|
So I'm not sure if the rest of the country is aware of this but we are all supposed to have a 'Go' bag packed and ready to go, in case of disaster. urlLink http://www.nyc.gov/html/oem/html/readynewyork/prep_gobag.html Nothing like packing a go bag to brighten your day eh? They have all these seemingly logical items you should pack, like water, batteries etc. I guess 'disaster' is a polite way of saying 'Oh shit! al-Quaeda(sic) did somethin' stupid again'. Where we are supposed to go and how is unclear. I guess they will send a bus to pick us up and put us all up at the Trump Casino in Atlantic City or something. As any New Yorker would tell you, within 10 minutes of any kind of announcement the entire city would be in state of gridlock. The entire city is in various stages of gridlock daily without a disaster happening for God's sake! I am sure there are dozens of guys in think tanks trying to figure out where these retards are planning to strike next. I have a couple of theories on how to catch these turds before they do any more damage. 1) Set up a terror attack staging area. Maybe if we set up this place where these dudes can blow themselves up without hurting others that would help. Personally you can set it up anywhere between NY and LA AFAIC. Maybe put it in the desert, that would make everyone happy. Set up a TV network to monitor the area 24/7 so we can watch these Nimrods blow themselves to smithereens during halftime or whatever. Hey, maybe they can even coordinate some sort of spectacular halftime show, blow themselves up in a domino fashion or something! They might even consult Paula Abdul on some dance moves... 2) Sting operation: Here's a way to get rid of some of the really dopey ones (i.e. shoe-icide bomber Richard Reid). Set up a (fake) public speaking engagement for Osama bin Laden. Just make sure there is a warning included in the announcement in coded form (pig Latin, ubby-dubby or something) that it is a sting operation, so our own cerebrally challenged don't show up my accident. Maybe a good place to do this would be New Jersey in Secaucus or Newark. Once all these guys are locked in the arena we could do all sorts of stuff to them. One might be tempted to simply nuke the arena. That would be too easy. I say we put on a show for them so horrible, so inconceivably painful that they just start to chew thru their wrists to escape the agony of the experience. Start off with playing all the 'Cop Rock' episodes on the Jumbotrons. Next a four hour concert by world famous singer urlLink 'Wing' If they make it thru that it's time to bring in Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Richard Simmons to Dance to the oldies.. Anyone left alive after that will be subject to idea #3: Idea #3: New York and indeed the whole world has plenty of exercise machines. All the work done to operate these machines is currently wasted. Why not connect up some generators and rechargable batteries to all of them and network all that lost energy potential? So when you do that 30 minutes on the Stairmaster, not only are you shedding unwanted pounds but are storing electrical energy to be used to fry these terrorists!
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3,572,381 |
male
| 40 |
indUnk
|
Virgo
|
13,June,2004
|
I think we are all born with certain tools for living, and some of us are lacking essentials. Like a sense of other's feelings. Society is so wrapped up in themselves and their needs and pleasures that they can't see past their own noses. Some people can't sleep at night. My mom used to say that was because they had something on their concience keeping them awake. I wonder how much truth is in that? When my mind wanders in the twilight time before I sleep I seem to relive all my past mistakes. I have to 'change the subject' in my mind. Why do I keep reliving my past mistakes? And why do we place so much importance on other people's looks? I am guilty of it, we all are to a certain extent. We all get old. Our bodies wrinkle and stretch and generally wear out. Men are more visually driven they say. Is it really what we decide is beautiful that drives this concept of beauty? Or how we want others to percieve the beauty of our significant others, or ourselves for that matter. I just had a strange thought. What if we could choose between a mate that looked gorgeous to others but ugly to us, Or a mate that looked beautiful to us and ugly to others. Which would you pick? As far as mates go I think my ability to please and satisfy her should be most important. It seems that many women are not satisfied with status quo. They always need a relationship to be progressing on some level. I'm not talking about marriage. I mean being married to a loving husband, having a good job, maybe a kid or two. They look for the next thing. Women always seem to need a goal. Maybe a bigger house? Maybe do the dishes a few more times a week? I think we all need to learn to aprreciate what we have and not look at what other's may have. Women, If you have a man that loves you, takes care of you, is faithful to you and doesn't beat you, you are better off than 90% of the other women out there. And the sooner you realize it the better. If your man possesses all these qualities I want you to go out and buy HIM flowers today.
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3,572,381 |
male
| 40 |
indUnk
|
Virgo
|
09,June,2004
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I don't know if there will be a part two, I am just covering my bases. :) Jackie Onassis: I met Jackie when I was 13 or so. I used to walk her dogs. She had an irish setter (I think it was) which was given to President Kennedy by the people of Ireland This dog was very old at the time. She also had what I think was a maltese. I was introduced to Mrs. Onassis and she was very nice as you would expect. Mrs. Onassis didn't spend much time shooting the breeze with me, so no real dirt I can dish. My dad on the other hand swears she would curse like a sailor when she got mad. I also became somewhat friendly with the secret service guys that were protecting the kids. They had an office in the building where she (and I) lived. In those days the elevators had an operator. When any of the family came on the elevator a special button was pressed to alert the secret service. There were a few incidents where 'John-John' would duck his secret service by using the service elevator. On one particular day he did this and was mugged of his bicycle in Central Park. It was in the papers. Which reminds me. I was given one of John-Johns old bikes by Mrs. Onassis. I loved it! It had shock absorbers which made the ride nice and smooth. I had never seen a bicycle with shock absorbers before. There is a picture that exists of John-John and Mrs. O where he is riding this bike. How cool! Billy Joel Yes, I briefly met my idol! Back in the mid '80's I was a recording engineer. I went for an interview at a recording studio on 42nd street (Chelsea? Clinton or something) Billy was there working on an album called 'The Bridge' Unfortunately I couldn't sum up the courage to have a conversation. I just said hello and sort of basked in the moment. I have seen him on a few other occasions and I saw the hint of recognition when he saw me. Billy is my piano mentor, albeit from afar. His playing totally turned me on to rock and roll piano. I hope to meet you again and chat sometime Billy. :) I also met the following people during my recording studio days: Debby Harry, Bill Cosby, Roberta Flack, James Ingram, Grover Washington Jr., The original SNL band and many others who's names currently escape me.
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3,572,381 |
male
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indUnk
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Virgo
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07,June,2004
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The 'Blog' phenominon (sic?)is rather new. I know it is supposed to be about current events (I guess it is), but I am writing about my past for now. I would like to use this to collect thoughts on my past and on who I am. I thing it is good psychotherapy to actually write out who I am. I think on some level I imagine a beautiful princess will read this and be intrigued by me and fall hopelessly in love. Or maybe when I get to know someone I can direct them here to 'out' myself. Who knows? I like to think of myself as a very kind and loving person, don't we all? But I know I can be a real ass at times as well. :p It will probably take 100 posts for anyone to even begin to 'get' me., But I have to start somewhere! The question I seem to be asking myself at the moment is 'Am I a simple guy, or a complicated guy?' I think it best you decide this for yourself. I think if I were to attempt to sum up my feelings on myself I would say I like me, but there is room for improvement.
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3,572,381 |
male
| 40 |
indUnk
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Virgo
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07,June,2004
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This is a tough one in a way. Trying to take a hard look at yourself can be painful. And the ego will kick in and make some excuses for sure. So this is who I am (in my own perception) at this moment. I promise you that I can me quite funny and light hearted, but it seems the shit is rising to the top first in my blogging experience. This is feeling very theraputic for me releasing all this sad stuff. I hope someone gets off on it on some level. I should mention I have a few glasses of wine in me as I write this. I will try to be as balanced as possible. I think I am a nice person. I really like to listen to people, I am not one of those that nods their heads waiting for you to stop talking so I can say something else, totally ignoring what you've just spoken. I am a listener, you have my ear if you are making any kind of sense or have a point. As long as you aren't babbling. I think I am fairly intelligent. I am not as smart as I think I am though. I say this because on some things I can be so perceptive yet on others I haven't got a clue. For instance I am extremely sarcastic, yet a lot of other people's sarcasm flies right over my head. I love my parents. There, I've said it. Just like any parent/sibling relationship I have my gripes, but overall they have been supportive and loving thruout my life. God bless you. At this point you may have noticed I haven't gone on about degrees I hold, or how much money I make. I have not been steadily employed since 2000. But that is not why I don't brag. I don't brag because I don't define myself by my work. I didn't when I was making 50K a year and I don't now. I am chronically curious. This goes hand in hand with the listening aspect. Even when I have absolutely decided on something, I will ask someone's opinion. Quite often their opinion will either reinforce mine in a totally new way, or challenge it in a way I never expected. I have opinions. But if my opinions are enlightened by someone else, I don't have the slightest problem with changing them. I see this as a great strength. Some people ask why. I say why not. Is the glass half full or half empty? I am more concerned with exactly how much is in the glass.
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