id
int64 5.11k
4.34M
| gender
stringclasses 2
values | age
int64 13
48
| topic
stringclasses 40
values | sign
stringclasses 12
values | date
stringlengths 2
18
| text
stringlengths 4
790k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
4,065,332 | female | 24 | indUnk | Cancer | 28,July,2004 | I got my first paycheck from Planned Parenthood today. Only $150, but hey, that's cool. First paychecks are always fun too. So, yesterday I'm visiting one of my co-workers in her office and she handed me three pamphlets. They're titled 'What's Wrong with Contraception?,' 'The Pill - How does it work? Is it safe?,' and 'A Chastity Manifesto.' Let me just quote some of the things that were printed in them... From 'What's Wrong with Contraception?'... 'In the man, vasectomy may cause health problems because of the necessity of the body to reabsorb sperm unable to leave it. In the long term there is an increased risk of prostate cancer. The sterilized woman is likely to suffer further gynecological consequences.' What a load of crap. 'The IUD, as a foreign body introduced into the normally sterile environment of the womb, can cause a chronic inflammation and reduced resistance to infections, which, if they get out of hand, can cause further illness including permanent sterility. It is hardly used in the USA now because the manufacturers have been forced to pay large sums of compensation to users.' First of all, I wouldn't say IUDs are hardly used in the USA anymore. There are two that I know of that are on the market, and I know we offer one of them at Planned Parenthood. They are safe to use. A few decades ago there was a brand of IUD that was taken off the market, but again, that was a long time ago and they're not used anymore. 'There are many harmful side-effects (of the pill) - mild, serious, and even fatal.' Well, all drugs have side effects. When someone is put on a prescription drug, they should be told what those possible side effects are. But the worse side effects of the pill are usually for women over 35 who smoke and have a history of things like blood clots - in which case most clinicians wouldn't put that woman on the pill anyway. Besides, more people have probably died from the side effects of Tylenol than the pill. But I don't see anyone trying to ban Tylenol. 'When a spermicide is used, there is an increased chance of a miscarriage or of the child being handicapped in the event of conception.' What the bull shit is this? 'The whole point of contraception is to enjoy sexual pleasure while eliminating the possibility of conceiving children.' Well, they finally got something right! From 'The Pill - How does it work? Is it safe?' 'Is the pill safer than pregnancy? No. The health risks of the Pill outweigh by far the risks of pregnancy and childbirth to a woman's health, and any claim to the contrary is based on erroneous comparisons between healthy women on the Pill and women who do not receive normal care during pregnancy.' I think they are just blatantly lying at this point. There are SO MANY risks to a woman's health during pregnancy and childbirth and to even try and compare using the pill to that and say the pill is more harmful is just ridiculous. From 'A Chastity Manifesto.' 'There will be no wide-spread return to non-marital chastity without a rebirth of marital chastity. It is easier to be chaste when married; married couples need to lead the way.' WHAT?! Married couples shouldn't have sex? What's the point of that? And aside from that, I don't think there's anything inherintly wrong with non-married couples having sex. I live with my boyfriend, thank you very much, and I don't feel I'm doing anything wrong at all. Anyways, I could have put a ton more quotes on here, but this entry would end up being llloooonnnnggggg. Plus, I'm really hungry and some Thai food is sounding good. -Marquette |
4,065,332 | female | 24 | indUnk | Cancer | 28,July,2004 | All I watch, day in and day out, is CNN Headline News. It's the same shit over and over again. They don't cover the news I'm even interested in. But I can't stand FOX news, or all the news talk shows on other networks, so I guess I'm stuck with the headline news. At least there's the news ticker at the bottom with the sometimes funny and/or interesting little tidbits. Currently, I'm working as an instructor for a high school health class - it's for a program called Upward Bound. It's basically summer school for high school kids who are college bound. They live in the dorms and have their classes on campus. This is my last week, and I'm excited it's almost over. When the program started, I was excited about the job, but quickly learned that being a teacher, at least a high school teacher, is not for me. It has been one of the most frustrating jobs I've ever had. I will be a teaching assistant for a university class this fall though. So far I'm pretty optimistic about it. I'll have a prof with me after all, so it should go smoothly. Anyway, I've got things to do... -Marquette |
4,065,332 | female | 24 | indUnk | Cancer | 09,August,2004 | Spent the weekend at my parent's house. My boyfriend came with me and we pitched our tent in the yard. It was okay. Some of it was fun, some of it was frustrating. Saw my sister and her new baby. A baby's a baby - you've seen one, you've seen them all. Today was my first full day at Planned Parenthood doing clinic by myself. Everything went smoothly. Everyone puts in long days though. I was there for nine hours, which I guess isn't so bad, but there some days when people put in 11 hour days. I can't imagine that. -Marquette |
4,065,332 | female | 24 | indUnk | Cancer | 06,August,2004 | My boyfriend and I are going to my parent's house tonight to stay for the weekend. My sister had a baby about two weeks ago, and she'll be there too. My boyfriend and I are pitching a tent in the yard though - I won't stay in the house. My parents don't let us sleep together when we stay there, but at least in the tent we could. My parents are so funny - I live with my boyfriend, and I sleep with him every night here - why not at their house? I'm hungry. There's nothing to eat here. I kind of want potatoes. With cheese. Mmmm. That sounds really good right now. I put up a sign on my deck yesterday that says 'Pro-Kerry, Pro-Edwards, Pro-Choice.' I don't have a yard to put signs up in, so I put them on my deck facing the road instead. -Marquette |
4,065,332 | female | 24 | indUnk | Cancer | 05,August,2004 | Well, I feel like I have a lot to say right now, so I guess I'll start with my trip from this Monday through Wednesday... I went on a trip to Minneapolis (did I even spell that right?) with the Upward Bound program I worked for this summer. 30 high school kids and 10 adults on a bus for something like 10 hours... not the funnest experience in the world. We get to the city, check into our hotel, and go out for dinner. I had some serious sinus pressure in my face and thought it was just allergies. Oh no! I'm really sick by that night, and spent all of Tuesday in bed in the hotel while the group went to the Science Museum, the zoo, and dinner theatre. Wednesday I'm still sick, but we checked out of the hotel at 8am and went to Mall of America. Oh god! I feel sick, have no money, and am stuck in Mall of America for 5 hours! Then the bus ride back home. I'm glad my job with that program is now over and I won't be working for them next summer. My next rant may be best understood by reading the article at this link first: urlLink http://www.lufkindailynews.com/news/newsfd/auto/feed/news/2004/08/01/1091333650.18121.3890.4836.html?urac=n&urvf=10917320947500.020138782400256017 I'm all about people expressing their mopinions - it's their right in this country and I would be the last person to take their right away, even if I don't agree with them. But the guy in this article was crossing the line and harrassing this woman who works at an abortion clinic. I would have tried to get a restraining order. He followed her around town, for christ's sake! I call that stalking! Anyway, I guess that's about it. I'm glad I don't have to work until Monday again. It'll be nice to relax for awhile. -Marquette |
4,065,332 | female | 24 | indUnk | Cancer | 02,August,2004 | Had a HUGE dinner tonight. Unfortunately, because I was cooking and baking all day, the apartment became sweltering hot. Went swimming - Lake Superior wasn't cold for the first time that I've been in it this summer. Was in the water for over an hour, swam out to some rocks and hung out for awhile. Watched a movie, and am putting off packing my shit for the trip to Minnesota tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to going. I'll be on a bus for hours with 30 high school kids and a handful of adults that I don't really know that well. I'll be bringing a disc man and a shit load of CDs and some books. I'd prefer to keep to myself for as long as possible. -Marquette |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 30,June,2004 | Transitions are always painful-though in a sweeter way sometimes. I still remember the way I felt during the farewell day in my school.It felt as if the Life had come to a standstill(No i had'nt flunked my exams.Infact I was one of the Toppers).The reason for my plight was that all my friends were going their way and the bond which I had shared and cared for in the last significant years of my school life was going to wither away.Each of us was heading to a place that would take care of our destinies for the next part of our life.In a way it felt like a defining moment of my life as well as I had got admission into one of the most coveted engineering colleges of India - DCE.My parents were happy and so were my relatives but I had mixed feelings sadness,fear,anxiety and satisfaction. I was sad for losing my school buddies (though we did keep in touch for a long time but somehow we lost track of each other afterwards.)Fear and Anxiety had me gripped because I had to venture in unknown territories,make new friends and start everything from scratch,though I had immense satisafaction also because I had reached my goal - to pursue engineering after my schooling.The four years in the college were real fun,most of the growing up took place in the hallowed portals of the college itself.Though as you grow up,you become meaner-thats a time tested principle.However,the next transition was knocking me over.I had to get myself placed in a good organisation and bear the peer pressure and parental pressure all along.Fortunately(or rather unfortunately) I got placed in day 1 company (more about it later) and after a few hiccups most of my friends also made it into one company or the other.We did some partying but still almost one year of my college life was left,so nobody had thought of the separation after placements.But when the time came,it was a rather happy ending to our college life and we were very excited about taking on the corporate circles.And then came the most unpredicatable,dreadful and almost painful part of my life. I was chained for almost 3 yrs. to place and learnt the lessons of life the hard way.Although all this made be bolder and tougher from inside and also made me learn the principles of mortal Kombat and liar's poker.Cut to the current scene - I am on the verge of making another transition in my life (no i'm not getting married) - i'm getting back to school - a b-school to be precise. And this transition is one of the happiest ever in my life and I hope to make the most out of the two years that lie ahead of me.Am i excited? Yup!! P.S.Though we keep on advocating people and corporations to embrace change but this is the thing that most people and companies dread doing.Its not easy to get out of your cozy and comfy surrounding and start on an unknown venture but nobody in this world has achieved something substantial without venturing into untested but promising waters. |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 16,July,2004 | Hey..This is me..U2, the blog... Tell ya what happened between me and my master yesterday :( ... At some unearthly hour: U2:Hiya...master...howdy?? M:U2 I am leaving Delhi...hope u wont mind and will manage the stuff when I'm not around.... U2:Sure master...but where r u going?? M:I am going to Bombay!! U2: What!! Master u r going for some Bomb Babe :( i thought u were a lot saner than this.. M:AWWWWW....U2 U2..Shutup!! and mind ur own business... U2:But master i just asked where r u going?? M: Ohk..Last timee...listen now..I'm going to Mumbai.... U2:Master...u've changed a lot!! M: (angrily) And, Why is that?? U2:..Now..I know I cant stop u but i tell ya one thing...wasting ur life for bais and babes is not good at all.... M:Ohhhh..u dumb-witted moron...just understand that I'm moving out of Delhi and will make my next post from Bom..er..i mean another place...now get the hell out of here n lemme pack my bags...byeeeeeeeeeeee U2:ya master...ur order is my command...ciao n Good Luck!! So this is it guys..I will surely b missing my master n hope he stays on the right path.....but u all keep hanging around till my master is back 2 business...Till then...me signing off!! --U2 |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 15,July,2004 | I recently turned 25, marking the silver jubilee of my life.And I could hear this sentence 'Hey,you have turned 25...can you believe it?' being echoed all around me...(who was playing this line on and on, I still cant figure out, my inner self may be.. :) Time flows by so quickly...!! I felt It was a moment to reflect upon my past life...a moment of retrospection...there was a string of successful moments, failures, let-downs, happy and sad moments all dotting the 25 year old landscape of my life...Was there anything that I wished to change? Not at all...Infact I was happy with the way Life had turned out be and I still am...may be because I am not someone who broods about the past too much... But hey, 20 somethings are expected to have something called 'Quarter Life Crisis' that seems to afflict them quite regularly.Do I have the symptoms? Lets check out... |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 15,July,2004 | Infact this is what some timepass online quizzes tell about me n myself.... Some r dead accurate,some too harsh and some i'm totally clueless about.... Have a look !! CAVEAT: Take the quizzes at ur own risk....some qs. r really weird!! A nice TP,nevertheless!! You belong somewhere out in the world, exploring and learning and spreading the knowledge that you find. When you love, that love will join you in your quest and believe as you do in a world of spiritual energy that is stronger than anything humanity could normally even conceive, although you may be able to. Council those you encounter, give them your wisdom, and stay true to yourself. urlLink Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES) brought to you by urlLink Quizilla You are Proverbs. urlLink Which book of the Bible are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla You're addicted to..... Nothing! Your addicted to nothing at all? Well..... ok I guess thats a good thing but come on just think of the possibilities! urlLink What are you addicted to? (pics!) brought to you by urlLink Quizilla cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed urlLink What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla urlLink What Finding Nemo Character are You? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Mermaid: Mermaids, similar to Centaurs, have a torso of a human and the body of a fish. You are curious yet reserved in your actions. You like to have fun but never at the expense of others and you never roughouse. You love water and the creature in it and feel it is your job to make sure they stay safe. urlLink What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics) brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Pirates of the Caribbean! urlLink What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!) brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Morpheus urlLink ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla My inner child is sixteen years old! Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while adults might just accept that, I know something's gotta change. And it's gonna change, just as soon as I become an adult and get some power of my own. urlLink How Old is Your Inner Child? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla urlLink urlLink Take the World of Darkness Quiz by urlLink David J Rust A formidable creature half lion and half eagle, the griffin is said to be one thousand times stronger than any lion and five thousand times as farsighted as an eagle. Humans find themselves unable to lie while in a Griffin's presence. The griffin is also said to be fierce and untamed. It was a protector against evil and people often wore talismans of a griffin's claw to protect them from demons. Griffins were often used as transport for the gods. They were also reputed to swoop down from the mountains on occasion and pick up goats and small horses and bring them back to their nests for their young. What mythical beast best represents you? urlLink Take the quiz! urlLink Take the urlLink What High School Stereotype Are You? quiz. You are Socialist What: Socialism Where: At the distant bottom-left of the politcal spectrum How: Comparable to communism, socialism is an economically authoritarian political standpoint. Often, people are guaranteed jobs and given them, while workplaces are being closely regulated. Forms of it are currently instituted in many modern countries, and it is know to support the working class, but also implode economies. What political extremity are you ? I am the number 2 I am friendly _ |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 14,July,2004 | During my first semster in college,I had a special course on Relativistic Mechanics.The professor(we called him MM) who taught me this subject looked straight out of a sci-fi novel.He was short and plump,sported a reddish orange beard, wore heavy rimmed glasses and had a shiny balding head.He had a knack of asking out-of-the-world questions but his questions were never meant to be answered and if you thought you were a smart dude and tried to answer him, you ended up looking like a numb nut.And in one of these lectures he introduced us to the concept of urlLink Time Dilation , length contraction and Time Travel. More than Albert Einstein's relativity equations (the best theory about time and space), the application of these concepts caught my fancy (Plzz..dont end up believing that i finally published some revolutionary time travel theory and got a Noble prize for it).Consider the fact that we humans are always travelling in time but in a linear fashion until we meet our death.But the Time travel phenomenon can possibly allow us to rewind/forward the video of our Life video to any moment anytime. During those days, Discovery Channel also aired a program a programme showing the theories and experiments revolving around 'Time Travel'. There is one school of though that believes that 'Time Travel' is not possible and they have many theories including the one called 'GrandFather's Paradox', to boot their claims. How will it feel like travelling in Time ? The grandfather paradox is a paradox of time travel, supposedly imagined by the SF writer René Barjavel in his book 'Future times three' in 1943. Suppose you travelled back in time and killed your biological grandfather before he met your grandmother. Then you would never have been conceived, so you could not have travelled back in time after all. Now did you travel back or not? But what if a time travel doesn't change the past, but perfects it. For example: A person travels back to the past, at least 1 year before his birth. He meets his mother, young and very attractive, falls in love, marries her and they get children. Years after that his son disappears, travels back in time to meet his mother,... Here the past perfects the present. At the birth of time traveller's son, we've got 2 identical persons, genetically and identical in mind. They only differ in age. Contrary to the Granfather paradox,one of the noted physicists Richard Feynman proposed a multiple history idea.This idea implies that there are multiple histories. For each decision that is ever made, (i.e. should I wear a white shirt or a black shirt today) there is another universe in which the decision is made differently. It is possible that in another universe, you wear a white shirt every single day of your life. This idea, however, is very difficult to prove. By definition, it would be impossible for us to go to these other universes and see for ourselves. Feynman histories concept is built on the idea of really small particles here, not spaceships or even people.As Stephen Hawkings pointed out,'quantum theory allows time travel on a microscopic scale'. We cannot talk to hydrogen atoms and ask them if they travel in closed loop histories, but we can observe that there is a shift in the light given off by hydrogen atoms, which indicates that their electrons are moving in closed loops. Maybe, time travel takes place in front of us everyday according to Feynman histories, yet it happens on such a small scale that we don't even notice it. :? So,you simply go to the past, kill your grandfather.This automatically creates a new history. (in a new universe/worldline).You would still be in existence in the original history, and also in the new one. Another theory regarding Time Travel is that of 'Parallel Universes' or multiverse.The paradoxes would disappear if we accept this theory. When Time Traveller returns in time an exact copy of the world of his grandfather is created on the moment he arrives. The place where he arrives is not his past and the grandpa he's trying to kill is not his grandfather, but it's the fake world (duplicate world) and the duplicate grandfather. When he kills that man, he doesn't kill his grandfather, so the paradox is gone. The Time Traveller can mess around as much as he likes, nothing will change the 'real' past or present. This multiverse concept was also put to use by a famous SF writer Michael Crichton(of Sphere,Jurassic Park and Lost World Fame) in his novel urlLink Timeline (now being made into a movie).Its a beautifully written book where he explores the possible ramifications of Time travel and the interaction of various characters with the people and technology in the medieval France during 100 years war. It was ,however,H.G. Wells was the first author to write about Time Travel(even before Einstein!!) and Time machines in his novel 'The Time Machine'(also made into 2 movies with the same name) in 1895! The protagonist of his novel builds a time machine capable of moving back and forth in the 'fourth dimension' called Time. He travels far into the future where he experiences that the world has changed a lot but the class distinctions still persist.After this he ventures into a more distant place in the future to find that Earth is almost about to perish.Another attempt to time travel causes him to disappear into the portals of time forever.!! You can find the complete novel here : urlLink 'The Time Machine' Another well known movie that explores the time travel concept was 'Terminator'. In the future a great war has devastated the earth. Robots, controlled by a central computer, Skynet, have taken over; But human insurgents are about to overthrow the tyrannical machine. In a desperate attempt to save itself, Skynet sends one of its robots, a Terminator, into the past to kill Sarah Connor, the mother of the rebel leader before he can be born. One lone rebel soldier, Kyle Reese, follows the Terminator into the past to try to stop it. By sending the Terminator into the past, Skynet has sealed its own fate, as Kyle Reese meets up with Sarah Connor and together they conceive their child John Connor, who will grow up to be the rebel leader who destroys Skynet.This satisfies the theory,that 'Anything that can happen,will happen.' An application of the Time Travel concept in computational science is Time loop logic. It is a system of computation that requires the computer to be able to send data backwards through time, and relies upon the Novikov self-consistency principle to force the result of a computation sent backwards through time to be correct. This approach can overcome many limitations on traditional algorithmic complexity. A program exploiting time loop logic can be quite simple in outline. For example, to find a factor for a large number: 1.wait for the result to be transmitted from the future. (This statement amuses me like hell...If put into practice,this will be a boon for students like me!!) 2.upon receiving the result, test whether it is a factor by dividing the input number by it. if the received result is indeed a correct factor of the number, send the result back in time. else if the received result is not a correct factor of the number (or no result is received at all within the desired timeframe), generate a number different from the received result and send it back in time. Note that this results in a paradox, since the result sent back is not the same as the one that was received. Since the Novikov principle states that it is impossible for any sequence of events to result in a paradox, the second clause of the conditional statement can never happen and the result sent from the future is guaranteed to be the correct one!! Of course, time loop logic is a purely theoretical exercise at this point. It is not known whether time travel is possible, or if it is whether Novikov's principle really applies to it. Another aspect of Time Travel is concerned with anachronism (something that appears out of place because it is thought to be inappropriate or impossible for that time period).For example, -The Great Pyramid and the Great Sphinx of Giza demonstrate impressive engineering capability, even by modern standards. Some have speculated that they may have been built by aliens, or that their construction required technology from a future civilisation. It may simply be that the masonry skills of the Ancient Egyptians were more advanced than historically thought. -Leonardo da Vinci was certainly a man ahead of his time; his sketches and writings include a precursor to the modern helicopter, centuries before the invention of comparable flying machines. Leonardo's helicopter could not fly, however. -The Baghdad Battery is an artifact from between 250 BC and 250 AD, discovered near Baghdad, with a structure similar to that of a modern battery. It also appears that similar batteries can be located around ancient Egypt, where objects with traces of precious metal electroplating have been discovered at different locations. A recent pointer to one such anachronism is Tom Clancy's novel 'Debt of Honor' in which he almost predicted 9/11 disaster... '... it had never occurred to anyone to have fighter aircraft aloft over the capital ...... Sato brought his aircraft around ... the 747 banked left, clearly under precise control ... Sato had been to Washington often ... including the Capitol Building ... he adjusted his flight path so that he was now roaring right up Pennsylvania Avenue ... His last voluntary act was to select the point of impact, two thirds of the way up the stone steps ... Nearly three hundred tons of aircraft and fuel struck the east face of the building at a speed of three hundred knots. The aircraft disintegrated on impact. ... Next came the building itself. ... one hundred tons of jet fuel erupted from the shredded fuel tanks, vaporizing ... A Second later it ignited from some spark or other, and an immense fireball engulfed everything inside and outside of the building. ...'. A promotional quote for Debt of Honor from Entertainment Weekly: 'A shocker climax so plausible you'll wonder why it hasn't yet happened.' :-O Some people argue that these examples and others show that there have been careless time travellers and show that 'temporal secret agents' have been here on containment and damage limitation missions. These are said to be the smoking guns of the ultimate conspiracy theory. To top it all, 'The ancient astronaut' theory or paleocontact says that human beings are either the descendants of aliens who landed on Earth millennia ago, or that much of our culture was given to us by extraterrestrial visitors in the time of pre-history. Mindboggling..huh!! Stephen Hawking once said: 'If time travelling will be possible, why haven't we seen a lot of tourists from the future yet?' Infact Earth was visited by a Time Traveller in the year 2000: Read on... Although there is debate over the exact date it started, on November 02, 2000, a person calling themselves Timetravel_0, and later John Titor, started posting on a public forum that he was a time traveler from the year 2036. One of the first things Titor did was post pictures of his time machine and its operations manual. As the weeks went by, more and more people began questioning him about why he was here, the physics of time travel and his thoughts about our time.He posted on many forums including the old Art Bell site. In his posts John Titor entertained, angered, frightened and even belittled those who engaged him in conversation. On March 24, 2001, John Titor told the people that he would be leaving our time and returning to 2036. After that, he was never heard from again.Even today, the speculations and investigations surrounding John Titor's claim abound.So till date,nobody knows who John Titor was,why he was online all this time and whether all his claims were a part of a big hoax Read the complete story on urlLink John Titor's Website .Fascinating read indeed!! Apparently Amazon is now selling a book called urlLink John Titor: A Time Traveler's Tale which is reportedly being sold by John Titor's mother. |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 12,July,2004 | There was a news story in TOI yesterday about George Fernandes being strip searched in US during his visit to the country as a Defence Minister.This was one minister in NDA govt. with a high profile ministry of defence, who had no clue about his work and now this incident amazes me till no end.First this so called terror act gets reported through former deputy secretary of state Strobe Talbott's book (Engaging India) and whats even more surprising that George didnt raise his voice when such an incident actually happened.He could have vehemently opposed such an atrocious act.But no he had to act saintly,i wonder Y? (a diplomatic stance some might say but no its just being obsequious to US and its ways).Another example of meekness shown by Indian representatives towards the mighty UasS.And to top it all,when he was questioned by journalists today about this incident,he vowed that he will never ever visit US in his lifetime.Are people supposed to sing paens for his renunciation act? People in US govt. wont care a damn to whatever he says now and his antics didnt carry weight even when NDA was in power.This is the same man who almost broke down to tears on Karan Thapar's show bcoz the man in the opposite seat seemed much too well informed than him about the country's defence scenario.Is it too difficult to voice your concerns or uphold your dignity when you hold such high profile offices,i wonder? WHy cant such people just leave Indian politics and sit in their homes and watch TV? From the US point of view, they have every right to frisk anybody on their shores but hell he was an Indian Defence Minister,what was the need to do so? India isnt a rogue nation like Pakistan or Korea...is it?? May be bcoz US has never been a victim of terrorists all these years and 9/11 made them go bonkers over everything and anthing...but India should now stop taking any more bushit from the US.... |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 10,July,2004 | Yesterday,I was lazing on my bed reading Sunday TOI when my nephews called me up.They were feeling bored (i guess this is the first reality that strikes you as you grow up :) as my jiju was away.The simplest thing I could do was to take them to some movie and McD but atleast me and my nephews agree on one point - we wont watch any bullshit hindi flick.And with theatres brimming with such horrible stuff,we finally settled to go for a drive and plan our outing on the way.Finally after dumping all my suggestions to the waste basket,they asked me to take them to a water park. I reluctantly agreed (c'mon they r just 4 & 9 :) to their demands...but I really had a swell time swimming,sliding and splashing around and helping them swim (though i personally like to swim in my personal pool at home...no, i dont have one but intend to have it in the near future :).Actually the idea of so many people taking a bath together doesnt appeal to me much ;) thats why.Infact,I realised, that the phrase that 'people come in all shapes and sizes' doesn't ring more true anywhere else than a water park! So while most of the people were butt-shaking to the beats of some raunchy remix number and were getting themselved drenched in one pool(as if this is the first and the last time in the year they were taking a bath),we went to a more peaceful place that had some privacy of its own (no i didnt take my gf along).And that place fortunately had some water slides (my idea of fun in a water park).A funny incident happened over there.There was this guy with his family at the top of the slide and I was standing beside him.He dispatched every member of his family down the slide one by one and when his turn came,he gave me a wry smile.I was raring to go down the adjacent slide and i gave him a thumbs up.But as soon as the supervisor there tried to push him below,he stood up and said ,let this guy go first:? And later i came to know that the people who went down before him were not his family members...hehe... So,after having done everything thats possible in a water park (only the things u r supposed to do there :) and spending close to 3 hours, I literally had to pull my nephews out of the water park (Y r kids so adamant?).But all their complaints died down when I treated them to a sumptuous lunch. Somehow swimming seems to create an extra space in my tummy and I ate more than i usually do and felt like dropping myself to the floor to take a well deserved nap. Finally we returned home and the evening was spent with choclate fudge and 'Munna BHai MBBS' (I have copied this one in my HDD coz my nephews r addicted to this flick..particulary the songs). So this Sunday also came to an end just like others but was definitely a bit more eventful... |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 10,July,2004 | So finally my dog..err,i mean blog had its day.It was the time for it to dress up and give up an all too undesirable look. Though I am still not satisfied with some of the stuff (c the sidebar can still accomodate a lot :).First up, I need to dynamically update the 'Currently Playing' and 'Cool Quote of the Day' without me having to republish the entire blog everytime i change the content under these two heads.And this is possible by taking them out of the template code.Need to figure that out.Some of the forthcoming attractions on U2 Lounge would include a 'Shoutbox' (btw..my earlier experience with this has been scary,ended up spoiling the whole template.The box also seems to slow down the loading of the blog.So need to wait). The packaging has almost been done,time to focus on the content.. P.S.Suggestions for the improvement of the blog are most welcome... |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 08,July,2004 | Although the time is ripe to write a budget review but I wont do so bcoz who the heck cares to read it anyway ( although i do :). To make matters worse all the dailies,mags n TV channels r puking out overwhelming doses of budgetary crap.Between all this chaos and hoopla surrounding the budget,I set out to tweak and tune my blog yesterday night (you might ask what in hell inspired me to do so?).Simple. I had already exhausted all tried and tested methods of timepass. For the uninitiated,some of these are : 1.Watching repeats of Tom n Jerry/Friends/House Full on TV and sometimes saas-bahu soaps too on Ma's insistence. 2.Switching TV channels furiously over and over displaying your button pressing prowess. 3.Looking out of the window waiting for the rain gods to appear and cussing the Met. dept. 4.Jogging at 7 in the evening and grinning/winking at each passerby. 5.Burning Cds of your Mp3 collection based on Artists and Genres. 6.Watching the latest flicks first day first show and after the show feel like you have been looted in broad daylight. 7.Chatting with friends on Y! and MSN where everybody pretends to be busy like hell or is boasting of his 'I'm on SMS' status. 8.Leaving offline messages for those who are not online at the moment warning them of dire consequences in case they dont reply. 9.Visiting relatives who have their own life too other than entertaining a nut like you. 10.Making STD calls to friends and realise that your bill has already cross the 'Line of Control'. 11.Crawling into each n every store in the shopping malls when you have already shopped so much thats gonna be enough for next 2 years. 12.Advising people who seem not at all interested in your wisdom and feel great and accomplished. 13.Watching live cricket and soccer and then eagerly wait for the highlights and analysis. 14.Reading two novels simultaneously and worry 'what would I do after I am finished with these?'. 15.Watching Discovery to understand how lions mate or why do ducks quack or why do tachyons behave the way they do. 16.Looking for '101 ways to kill your time' kinda book on the bookstalls. 17.Going on a long drive on a cool breezy evening only to be disturbed in your dreams by mindless drivers honking their horny horns. 18.Tinkering with your mobile and trying to discover every hidden feature. 19.Playing Cricket and badminton with your cousins who are less than half your age. 20.Showing unnecessary enthusiasm to show your culinary skills to mom and dad and end up looking like a stupid. 21.Watching 'Ripley's Believe it or not' and 'Who Dares Wins' on AXN and fantasise about performing better feats than the people on air. 22.Taking hour long baths twice daily,most of the time trying to see which shampoo suits your hair and which soap would be gentle on your skin. 23.Joining a Gym only to realise that you are the leanest and meanest guy around among the bunch of hunks and babes and leave before you become their eyesore. People who are still not bored to death bcoz of all this gibberish above are truly fantastic people who uphold my faith in 'The Bored Community'.Mail me your idea of boredom and you stand to win a chance to fly to Timbaktoo islands for 7 days and 7 nights all alone.You can also participate in 'Who bores Wins' contest and win exquisite T-shirts and caps with 'I am a BIG Bore' slogan .And yes,do subscribe for the 'The Bored Community' daily newsletter for a peek-a-boo into the lives of thousands of others like you. Me signing off for now to take a big bore break..... |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 08,July,2004 | Now its my turn to hit this creepy crying creature...defnly need to deliver one strong beating to get the matter settled once n for all.. But i wud be damned if i commit such an atrocious act....how can i ever hit such a beautiful creation of God...C'mon Kid..Go ahead..n do whatever u wanna do... i'm at ur mercy... :) P.S. For people who seem to be lost on this,just check my previous post. |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 07,July,2004 | I had mailed Paulo Coehlo from his website (i stumbled upon it somehow)because I was really impressed by his work 'Alchemist'.He has got a nice website.What surprised me even more was that i got a reply mail from the great man himself the next day. Here it goes:- But..Wait...Some raucous kid seems to have torn it into pieces... :( (Yeah..beware of these new kids on the block..they can tear away ur e-mails too).Newayz..She is due fr a beating!!In the meantime, do try to read it by joining the 2 pieces.. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some parts for the greater good of the whole!! ;) |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 07,July,2004 | I am listening to 'The Sunscreen Song' by Baz Luhrmann these days.Its peppered with pep talk all around but very effectively though.It has some controversial history behind it too... And here is how it happened.... Anton Monsted, Josh Abrahams and Baz Luhrmann were working on a remix of Everybody's Free when Ant showed me something he had received from a friend by e-mail; apparently Kurt Vonnegut's graduation speech to students at MIT. On reading it, Vonnegut's simple observations and ideas seemed to provide a profoundly useful guide for getting through life, and we instantly decided to record it. The problem was we only had a day or two to go on the deadline and contacting Vonnegut's agent in time was impossible. The idea seemed unlikely. It was two o'clock in the morning, and this somewhat depressed us, so Anton plugged his computer into the wall and surfed the net to find more information on contacting Vonnegut. What he found was to surprise us all: newspaper articles on what had become the 'Sunscreen Controversy' and what was to prove an amazing moment in the early life of the internet. Anton was immediately printing out news of how the work of a brilliant columnist for the Chicago Tribune had been lifted from her column, and a student as a hoax had connected Vonnegut's name and chain e-mailed it to students all over the world. The words struck a chord with those who read them, and so Vonnegut's 'sunscreen speech' was born. It was now four o'clock in the morning and we sat stunned as we read pieces of information. It seemed to us, whether Vonnegut wrote it or not, the ideas in the piece make such great sense. Back onto the internet again, and we were e-mailing Mary Schmich, the young journalist who wrote it for the Chicago Tribune. Fortunately, Mary had quite a connection to both Strictly Ballroom and Romeo + Juliet, so a day later we were in Sydney recording with a local actor the spoken element of what is now 'Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen).' What I think is extraordinary, apart from the inherent values in the ideas, is that we were experiencing ourselves a historical moment in the life of the internet, an example of how massive publishing power is in the hands of anyone with access to a PC. Excerpts from urlLink hollywoodandvine.com Listen to this beautiful number urlLink here n yes 'Wear Sunscreen' ;-) Lyrics by Mary Schmich Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99... Wear Sunscreen If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time it’s 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen... |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 06,July,2004 | Message from Paulo Coelho(author,Alchemist) to honour Shirin Ebadi at the Nobel Peace Prize Ceremony, Oslo, December 11th 2003.This was read out by Michael Douglas during the ceremony. TO THE ONE To the one who understood her task and her purpose. To the one who looked at the road ahead, and understood that it was a difficult journey. To the one who did not make light of those difficulties, but, on the contrary, made them manifest and visible. To the one who makes the lonely feel they are not alone, who satisfies those who hunger and thirst for justice, who makes the oppressor feel as bad as the oppressed. To the one who always keeps her door open, her ears listening, her hands working, her feet walking. To the one who embodies the verses of another Persian poet, Hafez, when he says: Not even seven thousand years of joy are worth seven days of sadness. To the one who is here tonight, may she be one with all of us, may her example multiply, may she still have difficult days ahead, so that she can do whatever she needs to do, so that the next generations will not have to strive for what has already been accomplished. And may she walk slowly, because her peace is the peace of change, and change, real change, always takes time. |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 06,July,2004 | I have read this book a lil while ago and found it amazing.Since I had borrowed this one from my friend,so I though about writing a review sprinkled with excerpts from the book itself,so that I can refer to it anytime. Since it will take some time before I am able to cover the entire book,I will keep posting about it in installments. Here goes the first one (the remarks in italics are mine) :- Liar's Poker describes an era almost two decades old but it still exudes the charm and doesn't lose its relevance in the present day scenario.Michael Lewis,the author, worked in an Wall Street I-bank firm called Salomon Brothers and he describes his rise through the ranks in the company as well as the tumultuous times that Wall Street witnessed in the 80's. As he himself puts up in the preface 'That was somewhere near the center of a modern gold rush.Never before have so many unskilled twenty-four-year-olds made so much money in so little time as we did in this decade in New York and London.' Never Mention Money,p18 - Here Lewis describes the miserable job of an I-bank analyst.There is a parallel between the nature of the job of an Analyst of the 80's and a software engineer in service industry in the 90's and beyond.I cannot validate,however, if the analysts job still reeks of the same smelly and disgusting things. p23 ,'Analysts didn't analyze anything.They were slaves to a team of Corporate financiers,the men who did the negotiations and the paper work of new issues of stocks and bonds for America's Corporations.At Salomon Brothers they were lowest of the low.Analysts photocopied,proofread and assembled breathtakingly dull securities documents for 90 and more hrs. a week.If they did this particulary well,analysts were thought well of their bosses.' 'This was a dubious honor.Bosses attached beepers to their favorite analysts,making it possible to call them in at all hours.A few of the very best analysts,months into their new jobs,lost their will to live normal lives.They rarely slept and often looked ill;better they became at the jobs,the nearer they appeared to death.One extremely successful analyst(a friend I envied for exalted station in life ) working for Dean Witter in '83 was so strung out that he regularly nipped into a bathroom Stall during midday lulls and slept on the toilet.He worked straight through most nights and on weekends,yet felt guilty for not doing more.By definition an analyst's job lasted only two years.Then he was expected to go to a business school (so they analysts without an MBA degree at that time).Many analysts later admit that their two years between college and business school were the worst of their lives!! The Analyst was a prisoner of his own narrowly focused ambition.He wanted money.He wanted to be thought successful by others like him.' During his college days,there was a surge in the people going for Economics and Statistics courses as that was their best bet if they wanted to make it to an I-bank (Strangely enough Michael Lewis had majored in Art History.Whew!!) p24 ,'Studying Economics was more a ritual sacrifice.I often asked otherwise intelligent members of the prebanking set why they studied economics, and they explained that it was the most practical course of study, even while they spent their time drawing funny little graphs.Economics was practical.It got people jobs.And it did this because it it demonstrated that they were among the most fervent believers in the primacy of economic life.' On why he didn't take up Economics-the fad in the 80's p25 ,'I had made a conscious decision not to study economics at Princeton,partly because everyone else was doing it for what sounded to me like the wrong reasons.Dont get me wrong.I knew I'd one day need to earn a living.But it seemed a waste not to seize the unique opportunity to stretch your brain on something that genuinely excited you.It also seemed a waste not to use the rest of the University.So I landed up in one of the least used departments in the Campus.Art History was the opposite of economics;nobody wanted it on his resume.Art History, as an economics major once told me,is for preppy girls from connecticut.The idea that art history might be self improving or that self improvement,as distinct from career building,was a legitimate goal of education was widely regarded as naive and reckless.Some of my classmates were visibly sympathetic towards me,as if I were a cripple or had unwittingly taken a vow of poverty.' 'Nevertheless,Wall Street seemed very much like the place to be at the time.The World didn't need another lawyer,I hadn't the ability to become a doctor,and my idea for starting a business making little satchels to hang off the rear ends of dogs to prevent them from crapping on the streets of Manhattan(ad jingle :We stop the plop) never found funding.Probably the real truth of the matter was that I was frightened to miss the express bus on which everyone I knew seemed to have a reserve seat,for fear there would be no other.' |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 06,July,2004 | The modern version of Deewar could have had this as one of its dialogues. Amitabh : Mere Paas mobile hai,laptop hai,mp3 player hai aur 1 software firm ki naukri hai.Tumhare paas kya hai? Shashi Kapoor : Mere Paas Google mail id hai,Rediffmail Id hai...!! One cannot imagine the extent and growth of internet and computer media in last decade or so.Some years back during my college days a 2 GB Hard disk was the best and biggest thing you could have for storage and now you would be the laughing stock if you still hang around with such things.80 GBs are the norm these days and apart from that you have loads of GBs in online space from various email providers. Where are we heading? With so much online space and companies such as google coming with the novel idea of retaining all your mails from womb to tomb,are we turning cyberspace into a big online junkyard? Who would anyway be interested in the promotional mail selling a Britney spears Audio CD in 2050? So,in my opinion, it always makes sense to delete the unwanted mails with time for the sake of ease of management of your mailbox and saving in time that occurs because of an uncluttered mailbox.And if you follow the delete regime religiously,you would never require more than 10 MB or at the max 100 MB space(unless you are thinking of sending MPEG files of movies as attachments!).And I am just making up a case for individual users and not the corporate ones (who otherwise never use such free email services).But the irony is that if one email provider comes up with a new feature,the other competitors follow suit without reason and logic(though Yahoo still has some sanity left).Google sneezes and every other mail provider catches cold!! |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 04,July,2004 | Oops I did it again!!Charisteas celebrates Greece's winning goal Greek Gods dont understand Portuguese...Dumbo!! Greece has pulled out a miraculous win in Euro'04 and going by the stakes they had when the tournament began (it was 80:1), they have left every football fanatic overwhelmed. All credit goes to them for the way they played like a well organised and displined team.Though they didnt have the star power to boot but they had the right kind of people with right kind of skills to take on any champion team.Some cynics wrote them off when they were winning match after match, saying that this is their last match but this Greece team proved sceptics wrong.And a lot of credit for this victory goes to their coach Otto Rehhagel (pardon me for the spellings :), a 65 yr. old energetic man who pumped up the team withe the right strategies at the right time and made minnows into masters. Greece defeats France - Upset # 1 Greece defeats Czech Rebublic - Upset # 2 Final Blow - Greece defeats the home team and take on the Euro Cup 2004 One thing that I witnessed during the final match was that both the countries had their prime ministers in the stadium to cheer for their teams like any normal football fan would do.I am angered at the thought of our pot bellied PMs who try to portray themselves as someone out of the world and never make such public appearances.What could one expect from such octogenarian PMs who find it difficult to walk ,let alone cheer for their teams.I guess India which comprises of 55% young people today need a young leader to repersent them. Enough of the Gibberish...Let me hail the heroes and the King of Euro 2k4!! The Heroes - Charisteas and Dellas The Wall - Nikopolidis The Guru of All Seasons - Otto Rehhgael |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 04,July,2004 | 'Hellas olé' Euro fever got to his head!! What a tremendous tournament this has been! I had the privilege of watching almost every match since I have left my job and still havent joined my b school.Though I am not one of the Soccer freaks but really my fascination for this game has gone up a few notches after the last W'Cup and now this Euro 2004 has added to my zeal for the sport.At the outset of the tournament I had Holland,Spain,England and France as my favourites but all gave in meekly to the underdogs.Didnt somebody say 'Every dog has its day ;)'.Now I am eagerly awaiting the Portugal and Greece final and it will go down to the wire..no doubt.And Portugal might come out as winners as they are the favourites.Although dont trust my predictions since even I have lost trust in them during this 'Shock and Awe' Cup of 2004.More about it later... Me becoming a red eyed monster after slogging for hours in front of my ill machine...Now the machine seems OK but me kinda ill... P.S. This was meant to be published yesterday night but somehow got lost in web chaos. |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 02,July,2004 | Seems like the worm has wriggled into its hole though i still cant figure out how.But All's well that ends well.It seems to me that it was some benevolent worm which somehow got to know about my cash crunch and saved me money that would have been required for the format,new OS and other s/w installation. May its soul rest in peace...err i mean let the worm rest in peace!! :) Oh Shit...!! The SOB had called for all his cousins for devouring my chubby and chirpy machine. May all their souls rest in peace... :P Virus:W32/Forbot.A.worm Virus:Bck/Dumador.H Virus:Trj/Qhost.gen Virus:W32/Plexus.A.worm Virus:W32/Lovgate.G Virus:W32/Sdbot.YR.worm Virus:W32/Donk.A.worm Virus:W32/Bagle.H.worm Virus:W32/Plexus.A.worm Virus:Bck/Dumador.H Virus:W32/Bagle.AB.worm Virus:W32/Dumarin.B.worm Virus:W32/Gaobot.gen.worm Virus:W32/Bagle.pwdzip Virus:Trojan Horse |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 02,July,2004 | A guy who had a pretty normal life until this incident,was doing his daily chorus on a hot friday afternoon but somehow things started getting weird around him.His machine which had obeyed him since he got it first during his college days and which has since undergone a series of rebirths, remained totally oblivious to his master's voice.'Is my machine getting old?' wondered the boy or 'Does it need another dose of chips and wires to get back to life?'. While he was trying to demystify the puzzle,a message from cyberspace threw him out of gear.It was written on a small window with a dark red cross - 'Your system is infected by Sasser Worm and your machine will be shut down by the Authority'. Almost shattered to death,the boy then realises that had he shielded his machine from cyberspace security threats,this would have never happened.After cussing the OS manufacturer for leaving so many loopholes for cyberattackers in his new Xp system,he embarks on the recovery mission to get his machine out of the wormhole so that he can again go ahead with his daily chorus - blogging. |
2,542,652 | male | 25 | Engineering | Cancer | 02,July,2004 | It is often said that nobody in the Universe can stop a man when he decides to do something from his heart.But it doesn't apply in my case atleast sometimes.I am trying to blog away my blues since last week (not to mention my 2 unsuccesful attempts at blogging last year) but this bandwidth sucks.I switched to a broadband 10 Mbps connection after being totally succked out by painful dial-up speeds but this broadband connection is no good.It seems that as the number of users using the network increases,each user in the network gets a smaller pie of the total constant bandwidth than what he had before.And to add fuel to the fire,my friends in the states keep on telling fairy tales about their internet connection.They download songs in a flash,watch streaming videos and remain online 24 hours.Even my broadband connection used to be good at one time but that is history now and I have to take some drastic measures before my blog is again buried in the portals of history. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 31,May,2004 | Someone recently asked me 'what really gets you off?' - well that's obvious I thought .. but then it hit me if I could have one last sexual experience for my entire lifetime what would that experience be? And then wouldn't that experience truly be what would get me off? Which got me to thinking if I never figure out the things I want to try - how will I ever know to try them? Logically I need to document these grand ideas, these whimsies, these sordid fantasies and tantalizing details. And that is what brought me here today. For my delightful inspiration I have decided to ideally explore three ideas ... so with baited breath and anxious pen (in no order of importance of course!): 1) What has been my best/most intense sexual experience to date? Why and could that experience ever be recreated? 2) What is my one fantasy of longing that I know I could someday make a reality? 3) If I could have one last sexual experience, no realities holding me back (but of course logic playing a role) what would that experience be? On our next encounter I shall attempt to flesh out some serious debate on question #1. Although I know what experience will win, there are elements of others I feel I need to discuss and yes ultimately take the time to savor over again... Till we meet again. XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 28,May,2004 | It seems I always have brilliant thoughts and no one to share them with.... Perhaps this is the way for me to go. It is official I am addicted to MSN, lavalife and coffee. I lack real physical human contact and fear becoming a hermit. Why you ask? If I knew I obviously wouldn't seek the eyes of strangers reading my words and thoughts. I find that at times I seek sympathy from my now married friends, and yet at other points I find myself celebrating my aloneness. But how much self love is too much? |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 29,June,2004 | Well it appears that Canada did its best to muddle through the non-sense of yesterdays election .. and an exciting time is sure to be ahead of us. But enough about politics .. because at least for now we are free of become part of the USA. Another sigh of relief because I think I am finally coming to the conclusion that somethings gotta give ... and that something can't be a complete mental and physical break down. I have gone non-stop for three years and it's time that I have some fun again. MMMmmm and what delicious fun it will be. I have no fears, because I know that all of the yummy fantasies I have dreamt up are soon to come true. It's amazing when you meet your sexual match. And it's even more amazing when they have the potential to be your emotional and intellectual match as well. Tonight I am going to sit down with my babblings and flesh out some concrete ideas about what I want to write about and explore. As you can tell I have been distracted lately .. mind you it's been worth it .. but its time to get back to my goals. I hope that the boy ;-) will be part of the process and understand when I do have to pull back at times to get things accomplished. So tomorrow my pretties its back to our roots, back to the exploration and examination of life, sex and web cams. XO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 28,June,2004 | Today is election day in Canada. I hope that all those who could did vote. On the way to the ballot box I had a crazy thought ... with all the insane reality TV shows that have a voting process why can't we run our government the same way? Better yet can I have my own personal panel of judges and tribunal councils that determine my next moves? That way when I am faced with a life changing event it's not me that has to take the blame! For instance should I keep both my jobs - the panel discusses this ... tense music.. drum roll and then their answer 'well your performance in both has been stunning, but the audience has spoken, you must leave the one job, thank you bye-bye'. Ahhh wouldn't that be grand! In my dream world I wouldn't have to be working right now. I could be fully engrossed in my documentary while still studying part time. I could go where ever I needed to get the doc made, and my Alistair would come with me ... But in reality I know I will continue this insane break neck work schedule ... scatter my studying between jobs, hope that I have a few hours left in the week to sleep, work on the doc and see the boy ... *sigh* at some point somethings gotta give. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 27,June,2004 | How can you explain passion? Is it a quality a person can possess or an action they exhibit, or perhaps a feeling that overwhelms you? The warm fuzzy bunnies that were hopping in the field can only distract for so long. Eventually you become overwhelmed by your feelings (physically and mentally) and it happens. No worries and certainly no regrets. This weekend I saw passion, I felt passion and for the first time in forever I had passion touch me, caress me, savour me ... Every touch more intense, every emotion swirling closer to love. Is it love, of course, it is budding deep in my heart and flowing over in my mind. But it was lust too, fun, playful, mind blowing. So right and so comfortable on every level. On the way home we found a playing card ... the ace of hearts ... turns out the cards are speaking of our destiny. Ace of hearts: The home, love, friendship, joy the start of a romance. When it feels this good it can't be wrong. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 24,June,2004 | I am sitting here eating cherries ... giggling for many reasons. Of course the whole connotation of a cherry brings up numerous chuckles. But what makes me giggle even more is the idea that everything I have eaten today was so sensuously tactile. My sushi lunch required the licking of fingers. My cherries the constant connection with my fingers to my mouth. How erotically tangible on so many levels. What is more intimate then the meeting of lips and hands. The gentle sucking of a finger tip. The tingling while tracing someone's lips softly with your fingers. Lips meeting and fingers teasing ... sigh. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 23,June,2004 | It's amazing how beginning to fall in love can consume every ounce of your existence... I have literally been monopolized by overwhelming feelings of joy and bliss. Why yes I am love sick... This has allowed me to waste vast amounts of time on the internet at work. I found some great sites, one that I will share. urlLink It's also amazing that I started on this journey with no intention of my heart becoming involved. It was merely a way to explore and gain fodder for my documentary. And to my surprise and great happiness it has become so much more. Will this affect my original ideas? Not at all, if anything I have a greater focus now. So I guess I have two official announcements ... one is that the gods and goddesses must be smiling cause I am falling in love. And secondly, the documentary is a go. With a new focus and new goal. To liberate and celebrate the world web cam fun ... more details to come. Kisses my pretties! XO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 21,June,2004 | I can't figure out what has made me so nauseous right now ... was it the soup I had for lunch, the milk in my tea, or just overwhelming joy? It could also be my complete boredom and lack of initiative to work on anything that may require thought. The again if I concentrate on something it makes me feel like I need to puke even more. Once this feeling has past I will post more. Fingers crossed that it will pass without incident. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 20,June,2004 | 8:49am - phone rings - is it him calling to cancel? panic strikes - nope it's the next door neighbour. 9:12am - MSN message - is it him messaging to cancel? panic strikes again - nope it's him telling me he is on his way 11:15am - leave my house - start walk to casino to meet him - panic strikes one last time ... what if he doesn't show up? 11:32am - cell phone rings - it's him they will arrive at the casino shortly 11:57am - I am in his arms ... never wanting to leave 12:19pm - our first kiss, it feels so good, feels so right somewhere around 4:12pm - I realize he is the one, my heart swells open 9:53pm - plans are made for next weekend, I like that he is becoming a habit, I like that he wants to see me, I like him, I like the fact that he likes me, I like the fact that we know we are falling in love. 9:55pm - I close ~ this has been my favouritest day ever. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 19,June,2004 | Never fear I am always around! I will never let you down! I admit I have been distracted, and what a wonderful distraction is has proven to be! I am amazed at how much a person can crawl into my head and consume my thoughts. smitten adj 1: (used in combination) affected by something overwhelming; 'conscience-smitten'; 'awe-struck' [syn: stricken, struck] 2: marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness; 'she was crazy about him'; 'gaga over the rock group's new album'; 'he was infatuated with her' [syn: crazy, dotty, gaga, enamored, infatuated, in love, soft on(p), taken with(p)] In my defense though, I don't think that my emotions are that foolish. I have been continuing my research on many of the questions I have posed so far ... and you will soon see the fruits of my labours. Tomorrow there will be more ~ I promise! XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 17,June,2004 | You make me want to walk head first blindly into the unknown. Giving up all of my sureties and barriers to hold you even for one fleeting moment. To know I have touched your heart, felt your soul, reached your mind. I am not afraid anymore you have me. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 16,June,2004 | Cause we all just wanna be pornin' around! Although only 1.5% of internet websites contain adult content, they make up 66% of all online content. Adult website revenues in 2001 had grown into a US$2.5 billion industry. Online perusers of porn surf about 14 hours a week - which is slightly higher then the average net-surfer. Adult online visitors spend an average of $17 more a month on the web then the average online consumer. Adult Video News reports that the adult entertainment industry made $14 billion dollars in 2002-03. AT&T Broadband has 10 million adult entertainment subscribers. Wow .... you do the math .... XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 16,June,2004 | She pounced sinking her long red claws into his mind. She will open his eyes inwards. To his passion for her. She wants to explore him, discover his wants, needs, F*CK. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 15,June,2004 | Think about how many people you have 'met' over the internet ... people from every corner of the world that you would never encounter in your everyday real life. Think about the acquaintances, friendships, and even relationships you have developed with essentially strangers. Now think about my previous discussion on web cams and inhibitions ... how many e-one-night-stands have you had? How have they differed from your actual one night stands? I am going to guess that the guilt factor was a lot less in the virtual situation .... at least that is my experience. From my web encounters I think that virtual relationships do in a sense mock real relationships ... well ok maybe not mock but alter our perceptions of the complexity of real relationships. Online everything is easier ... talk comes naturally, nothing gets held back, if you don't want to talk you just log off, you can lie through your teeth and the other person never really needs to know. And that's my problem with virtual relationships ... how do you know the person on the other end of your computer is sincere? I guess that comes with how serious you want to get with that person. Do you want just a one time e-encounter, or do you want to get to know that person? So virtual relationships are really no different then taking a stranger home with you for some quick fun. I prefer meeting people over MSN, I find I can feel them out before I take the next step and attempt to talk to them on the phone .. after that if I decide to meet them, I feel that my online chats have allowed me to get a better sense of the person. And as for my e-encounters ... how much safer can a girl be? I enjoy the shows and if the mood hits me I show too. And I never have to worry about catching anything ... forcing myself to talk to the person again or even the morning after guilt. I think that virtual relationships are the new courting process. In a world where we are so paranoid to make a connection, the internet allows us to form bonds before we meet, instead of meeting and getting hurt because we were clueless. I hope that the bond I am currently forming turns into more. I never would have met this person if it wasn't for the internet. And to be honest would never have the nerve in person to do or say the things I have. I honestly believe you can meet a kindred soul over the internet. The web opens your heart to the world .. because lets face it your soul mate is probably not waiting for you in your own backyard.... Until Tomorrow, XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 15,June,2004 | Stupid people ... some days I only come across a few and my life moves along without too much frustration. But days like today where I encounter hundreds I am ready to get up on the water tower with my gun and start eliminating them! It started when I was on the phone - clearly on the phone with a client - and someone leans over my desk right in my face and doesn't even say excuse me - just says got the key [for the washroom]. Then my co-workers have all decided that apparently I am the only one that can answer any questions ... especially when I am trying to cram in a 20 minute lunch to eat soup that I had been trying to heat up for the last half hour because people will NOT leave me alone. Then of course their is the assumption by the general public that because I sit at the front desk I control everything and everyone in the building and should be able to get them what they want when they want it .... I don't get paid enough to deal with this ... I don't think I could ever get paid enough to deal with this. My only saving grace today is that I will be whisked away to Ikea later. And that my sweetie sends me happy thoughts that warm my heart and make me smile. Thank you baby for giving me something to look forward to. Tomorrow I will get back on topic. I am going to do some research and look at some numbers and prove to you once and for all that we are in fact a porn obsessed nation! |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 14,June,2004 | Once again this message is for you ... I know I will dream about every wish and desire we have shared ... I can't shake you from my head, and I don't want to. You have crawled into my heart, and I plan to keep you there. You are helping me see the meaning in love songs, and the joy of happy endings. I know I am falling, that's not what I am afraid of. What scares me is that it feels so good. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 14,June,2004 | As previous discussed I wondered if maybe lust and love are the same emotions just with different degrees of intensity? I decided long ago that lust is sufficient grounds for a sexual encounter. I have also decided that lust can end before turning into love. What I never considered is how lust can develop into love... When you first meet someone and there is the undeniable attraction clearly that is lust, as you begin to explore the person, learn about them, and emotions grow stronger you become smitten. If after you have explored the feelings of being smitten and infatuated and want to get to know the person even more I think this is where love starts to develop. The key is to know when to decipher smitten from the beginnings of love - if this is even possible. I have been smitten many times, but the intrigue wears off when I have had to work at maintaining an interest. However (as is currently unfolding) if once smitten I continue to be intrigued then there is the possibility that lust and infatuation will develop into so much more. So I guess in a sense I am agreeing with what Ska Boy said. That lust and love are of the same emotion. However they are not the same emotion. It's the ability to recognize the difference and admit when one starts and the other ends that makes us better at justifying our actions. The funny thing is when I just lust for someone I have no problem exploring an encounter. But if I know there is a chance for something more I tend to hold off on that encounter ... I wonder why that is? Till the next time! XOXO My heart is growing every moment, my mind exploring every option, I am enjoying the ride. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 13,June,2004 | Today one of my beloved furry friends unexpectedly passed away today. I will miss the little guy and I sure hope that his life with me was enjoyable. Good bye Mr. Piggy you were one fantastic little guy... *sigh* |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 12,June,2004 | I wrote this for you, you know who you are ... I needed to share it with you - but was afraid that it might scare you. I am so fearful that this has all been a game to you ... I so hope it hasn't . I guess it's better left unspoken. As I ramble on about my fears and dreams and levels of emotions. I twist and I squirm under this new found corner of my mind - and it screams out at me ... and then cowers waiting for it to all crumble down. And I try too see what it is you feel, and I try to read your inner thoughts. (Can we reach that level where my heart can come gushing out in long poetic phrases about the future?) But I still can't think of forever. So I shall wait - wishing I can freeze this time where I entice you. Entice you - do I ? Is it possible for me to be enthralling, amusing, wanted? Please mind don't let me screw up. Please heart, please let me open up. I know I do want to feel it this time. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 11,June,2004 | Back to reality for a bit. Apparently I didn't have any more intelligent thoughts yesterday! Today lets discuss part 2 of Inhibitions ... focusing on the web cam and where we draw the line. Is there really a sense of safety behind a key board and wires that can push someone to do things that they would never consider in person? In my experience yes. Completely shy, reserved people have ventured into exhibitionism and its many realms because of the safety that the internet creates. For some nudity on web cam seems like nothing, but ask them to disrobe in person and that's a whole other inhibition to cross. Most when asked have explained that yes being watched by that stranger in itself becomes a turn on and then eventually an addiction. A simple university student suddenly becomes an alluring sex kitten, your average IT guy becomes a yummy porn star... The question is where do we start to draw the line if we even do at all. Does the web completely erase our inhibitions because we believe we are behind closed doors? Experience says that much like anything else in life, once you take step one, step two seems even easier to move into. I could move from flashing some flesh, to being topless, to eventually pleasing myself on camera naturally and unreserved over the internet. And my reasoning behind this may be as simple as why not? Is it any different then dating someone in person? Isn't this one of the safest ways to express my sexual energy? Think about it, even when inhibitions are erased because of the safety of the internet, most participants are still involved in a safe natural experience. There is no physical contact - so no worries of diseases. You never have to release your name - so no one really needs to know who you are ... In a sense its starting taking the seediness out of one night stands. And in some cases a sexual web relationship can and has translated into a meaningful personal 'real' life relationship. Perhaps the internet has allowed us to drop our inhibitions thereby allowing ourselves to be more honest and open about our sexuality and emotions. My only concern is for those who don't know where to draw their line, and feeling guilty for behaviors they are still overly inhibited about. It's easy to get caught up in the moment and baring more of yourself then you intended. I guess in a sense at least on web cam there hasn't been any physical contact. However at the same time, I hope that when people do venture into the world of internet show and tell they know what they are getting into, don't get too wrapped up in the moment and always know where they have drawn their lines. In reality that has less to do with inhibitions and more to do with your comfort level... As always your thoughts are welcomed. Until tomorrow ~ XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 11,June,2004 | Can't concentrate ... my head is in the clouds .. will post more coherent intelligent thoughts later today. You Have Me Spinning, Swirling, melting with every smile. Your eyes, Your words, you are driving me insane. One touch, One kiss, if its meant to happen. let it ride ... I want to see where this will take us. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Can one have a pure mind and still be a dirty girl? I grapple with this everyday ... My actions and intentions are always pure. I am a good person who acts on the premise that I will better others lives. I never act with malicious or vicious intent ... so that makes me pure in that sense. But when the lights are dimmed and I am with someone I have a connection with ~ things just aren't so pure. In case it isn't already obvious I am a dirty girl by heart. Encounters should be fun, exploratory, adventurous, and yes dirty! If both parties are consenting and have honest communication then let the games begin. And in a sense purity comes from being honest with yourself and others. Denying your need to explore muddies the waters of purity. One very passionate person shared with me their view on purity 'I think to be completely pure is to completely know oneself... no matter what you may say or do'. I like that thought because it means that I am pure in every aspect of my life. One definition of purity that I really like is this: Purity - Freedom from sin or guilt; innocence; I do not believe in sin so I am free from that. I am free from guilt because I never regret an action that I have completed in honesty and openness .. but innocence - pffft not me! |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 09,June,2004 | So I will post a few poems (of sorts). First I want to thank everyone for your comments ~ your thoughts impress me and make me consider other views... So until the temperature dips here are some musings of sorts .... Naked I stand before you, a living statue. My soul baring itself with every breath. As my breasts heave, and my skin crawls, you have chiseled me into your passion. NIGHTMARES where the beast steals my only attempt at innocence and forces me to be. Finding the map is pointless. So look at me and think. Nothing can be solved with these bitter black tears falling. Untitled Things slip through your head and then your hands. Something you wanted to grasp for one split second, seems possible, then walks away; while you stand amazed, amused and once again confused. When everything seems so erotic, so tangible, right there in front of your face, when they're gone, you'll suffer your own stupidity. that's it for today folks. Let's pray for the rain. XOXO PS thank you to the person who has been keeping me smiling for the last few days, I can't want for it all to come into place .... |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 08,June,2004 | I had mentioned in an earlier post that there was an article in the Toronto Star that got my hair up. To be honest it down-right p!ssed me off. I would post a direct link but it doesn't work ... go to the Toronto Star site and look for the article 'Stiff Competition'. The author brings up the idea that because guys watch porn it leaves their girlfriends in the dust because porn creates a false image of woman. Well sure not all woman are as beautiful (or in many cases fake) as the buxom blonde porn starlet ~ but isn't that the point of porn? It's a form of VISUAL stimulation ~ not a reality show. She claims that most woman are perturbed and even disgusted that their partners view porn. Perhaps its because these women feel insufficient or lack a sexual confidence... and this has nothing to do with porn. Apparently any male who partakes regularly in internet porn viewing is addicted and needs to seek help! Wow good thing I am a professional counselor I will have clients galore needing help for this so called addiction. And women on college campuses are complaining more and more that they can't compete with porn. Hell who can! It's porn! That's like taking a drive on the 401 and then suddenly realizing I can't compete with a movie like say The Fast and the Furious and deciding that anyone who watched that movie is addicted to fast cars and chases.... But what really made me cringe was this comment 'you don't need to be a feminist to understand that the purpose of all porn in mainly to titillate and satiate men, with a solid subtext of power and control, of male dominance and denigration of women'. Gee, were can I begin with that. A) 99% of women in porn make double to ten times as much as the men, B) any respectable adult film production company runs their facilities comparable to those in the 'legitimate' film industry; C) if you don't like it shut the damn thing off. If you aren't comfortable with telling your partner that you aren't happy with something they do - don't blame porn, blame yourself for not being able to be open... GRAR I am so angry I can't even focus my thoughts. Oh yes and the comment that women in porn are not equal challenging or independent.. I guess all of those women who are multi-millionaires because of the adult entertainment careers don't count. This is like accusing a Hollywood starlet of the same because she takes roles where she plays the underdog. When will people realize that porn has existed since the creation of sexuality. And as long as all parties involved are consenting then there are no reasons to raise a fuss. I say bring on the porn, let me enjoy and if you don't like it you don't have to watch.... XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 07,June,2004 | After three hours sleep I have come to the conclusion that certain choices I make are pleasantly self destructive. And selfishly I don't care that I am exhausted and in pain .. however I know my work will suffer. My horoscope was great today... this marks the beginning of great achievements for me and many of my dreams will be coming true. All I really hope that means is that I will finally find someone to share with ... when it comes right down to it that's what I really want. Bah .. too mushy for a Monday or any day. Ironically my other horoscope mimics many of my thoughts that I have written so far: It's safe to say that you'll be a bit unconventional in your personal relationships. Is that a bad thing? Hmmm.. is this just confirmation that perhaps my sudden eccentric behaviours are justified. I will seek justification for them anywhere. I agree completely with a fellow MSN'rs comment that seeing someone online for the first time and watching them undress, touch themselves - its such an amazing rush, so addictive. But I worry that this thrill will wear off leading to more extreme situations. The only compensation is that over the safety of the web cam we never have to reveal our true identities. No one needs to get inside our pysche or understand who we are - its just instant gratification and then thanks see you later. Which leads me to this: has the web cam recreated the one night stand? I wrote this at 4 am last .. I think the person knows who they are ... if not it doesn't matter its just words on paper (and well now the screen). I've tried to sleep but its no use thoughts of you keep curling through my head confusing me and taunting me. I have shown you so much of me already, but none of it is really me. Once (if ever) you look past the curves of my naked flesh will you see the brilliance and potential that I possess - will you see the real me? The whole idea of web cams as the new one stand leaves me feeling as conflicted and confused as real life one night stands... Although fun at the time - I fear it will become a self destructive addiction. That is why I feel the need more and more to find the one... Later today once I clear the paperwork from my desk I will delve into the whole web cam one night stand idea, as usual I have many ideas! XO PS nothing makes the morning better then Jim Morrison asking 'come on now touch me babe can't you see that I am not afraid...' |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 06,June,2004 | The cold has subsided enough to make somewhat intelligent thought ... however it's Sunday and I choose to rest. I shall make a list of things to do or rather thoughts to tackle this week (or in following weeks) instead... - what was with that article in The Star?! - new adventures with kindered souls: each new encounter brings you one more first - web cams and the new one night stand - longing for something you can never have in reality and what that does to ones expectations - inhibitions part 2 - where do you draw the line - lust vs. love part 2 - when longing becomes a factor - exploring voyeurism on a new level: the intellectual side - show and tell: is it safe in this new digital world? Well folks .. thats it for today ... stay happy have fun and live life! XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 05,June,2004 | Well it's official ... I woke up feeling worse today then I did yesterday ... So if this post is nothing but incoherent babbling I plead the snot made me do it. During one of my many MSN conversations a friend proposed the idea that someone can start out just as a viewer but become just as addicted to showing. I laughed this off but later realized in many ways this is probably true. Exhibitionists have tapped into a great outlet in the MSN world - a whole new captive audience at their finger tips. The internet has done a great service by linking consenting exhibitionists to voyeurs all over the world with a few simple clicks. It's no wonder the internet is in so many homes - there is always someone watching and someone to be watched. But at what point does it stop becoming simply a web cam show and starts transforming itself into amateur porn? Does it even qualify as amateur porn? Sure it does! Someone (who is not a professional porn star) performing a sexual act (in many cases masturbation) for the viewing pleasure of another ... that folks is porn! And if itis considered porn, then my friends it can't be that bad.... because porn has become a staple in our North American culture. Turn on the McDonalds commercials with the girls titties selling salads and I think I have proved my point! Web cams have created a whole new stem of amateur porn that is just begging to be explored. Show me yours and I will show you mine is beginning to take on a whole new meaning. Speaking of porn - who took a poll and determined that most chicks are appalled by it? A recent article in the Toronto Star left me aghast with is assumptions and false claims about women and porn. So in the next post I will defend those of us females who actually appreciate, like or enjoy porn! Time to blow my nose, take more pain killers and attempt to remain conscious! XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 04,June,2004 | I woke up with a cold today - so my normally somewhat functional brain has turned to mush. Usually I average one tangent per strong thought - today it is all tangents. I keep thinking about last night ... then my mind wanders to my need for more coffee and inevitably to the fact that I crave human contact. I make it sound like I am a hermit or agoraphobic; I just wonder how much virtual contact is too much before one forgets their actual social graces.... yet with all of this virtual contact I do not feel unfulfilled. I often find myself questioning how far a person can be pushed against their inhibitions when there is no actual touch or personal interaction? At what point do people begin to draw the line in the great virtual world? When you think about it webcam sex is an amazing way to experience something you may be too afraid to seek out in the 'real' world. Warning tangent time! I found another poem ... I keep finding them written in the strangest places, perhaps I have an alter-ego that writes them while I think I am asleep! You gave me everything in passion each touch a cry for more and you left me broken and battered wondering where I went wrong and still today I'd do it all over again just to taste your lips and feel your hands and know you'd make me scream again. And again not the greatest but I think it sums up that creeping longing to finally get out their and fulfill these fantasies that have been consuming me... I will end this mindless rambling post with the one line I was able to manage last night ... I am sitting here witnessing the most beautiful site my mind could imagine and he knows I am watching -- he is doing it all for me. Perhaps someone else's thoughts and comments will help me re-focus! XO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 03,June,2004 | I came across the poem that that one line came from that I like to roll off my tongue.... Trace in circles your flesh as confused as I am I want to be here And I look at you and I think I want more but I know it will never be You made your mark on me and then left me stranded and then called me back for more I fish for answers to try to calm my mind I shut down my heart so I can't get hurt And run the risk of never having you for this one moment This moment that is seared in my mind as confused as I am I know I want to be here again Lust is valid I will argue till I am left with no air I will argue till you understand Argue till you agree What is it that is keeping you from being with me? Not one of my best but it sums up the experience perfectly ... And tonight I witnessed a new experience ... I cannot give details, but can say it left me in ecstatic awe. I am overwhelmed. To that individual I say thank you. XOXO Keep the comments coming - because eventually I will run out of things to write! LOL |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 02,June,2004 | You will have to forgive me, I have only had a half of a coffee this morning so the wheels aren't completely turning just yet. And I am exhausted from an interesting evening... but no details to share on that just yet. Love vs. Lust ... opening arguments: Ska boy used to always argue with me that these were the same emotions - then again he really isn't the most reliable source. Yummy yes - but reliable noooo. Maybe they are the same just with different degrees of intensity? But when you throw in sex doesn't that define when the great divide begins? Strictly as an emotion I can see how lust is just a stepping stone to love. Sexually though, someone can simply lust after another person whom they have never met without considering the potential for love - unless of course they are enrolled in Stalking 101. I know that I have lusted after many and will continue to do so. And I even admit that acting on that lust without a thought towards love can sometimes be an experience beyond words. But to lust after someone whom you have only 'met' through the great virtual world of the internet - is that odd? Or is it any different than admiring someone from afar until you finally get up the nerve to meet them? I guess what I am getting at is: does lust justify a sexual encounter? Isn't it just another inhibition we need to overcome in order to feel a sense of self gratification? Honestly if two people agree that the moment in time is right for the encounter, then lust, love, greed, whatever the motivation doesn't matter. Unless of course you suddenly develop morals half way through the act.... hmmm... Later today I am going to attempt to discuss the comments left by others ... so please feel free at anytime to post your comments. Until then I will consume much more coffee and attempt to shake the cobwebs from my head. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 02,June,2004 | I think the tangent I wandered into deserves more then that one fleeting acknowledgement. But as promised I would venture into question #2 from a previous post. I recall after one brief, yet tantalizing encounter with the yummiest of boys I was inspired to write something that had the line 'with fingertips I trace circles in your flesh'. I don't know how that relates to my fantasy turned reality, but I do like how it sounds rolling off of my tongue. Movie theater, middle back row, people in the theatre - not crowded but not vacant. Me in a skirt (sans the underwear), him- excitingly eager to touch taste and feel. Need I say more? I have thought about this idea for the longest time ... why is it that this is so breathtakingly mesmerizing? Is it the element of 'ohhhh we may get caught'? Or is it the thrill of knowing someone may or will be simply watching us? I brought up this idea to a friend who questioned 'but with someone watching doesn't that take the intimacy out of the act?', to which I rebut 'so do vibrators, c*ck rings, handcuffs and magazines. But millions of people use those and we don't question their intimacy'. We are a society based on visual stimulation and we are always forced to be the consumer. Except every once and awhile a few of us take a stand and become the viewed instead of the viewers. What could be more intimate then inviting someone into your moment of passion? Yet at the same time I can see where my friend is coming from, which leads me right back to my tangent and those damn inhibitions ... When a girl decides to become a porn star (not the crack whore I am doing this for my next hit porn performer) an actual star, what debate goes through her conscience? I bet she has to struggle with the intimacy factor and the cultural mores engraved in us since birth. What gets me though is that traditional porn (i.e. everything but the world wide web) makes more money yearly in North America the ballet, opera and theater combined. If we are such an inhibited nation then my God we must all be closet voyeurs ... and that means somebody has to put on the show. Think about it .... I am going to jump right into question #3 because the more I think about it the more absurd that question becomes. Especially since my history dictates that its been a long time, but not long enough to throw reality out the window. But I think that this is where the other great debate lust vs. love comes into play ... so the next time I will toy with just that! XOXOXO An after thought - please feel free to add your comments to any of the posts. I welcome them in anticipation! |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 01,June,2004 | in·hi·bi·tion n. The act of inhibiting or the state of being inhibited. Something that restrains, blocks, or suppresses. Psychology. Conscious or unconscious restraint of a behavioral process, a desire, or an impulse. ~(not to be confused with moral: Of or concerned with the judgment of the goodness or badness of human action and character: moral scrutiny; a moral quandary. Conforming to standards of what is right or just in behavior; virtuous: a moral life. Based on strong likelihood or firm conviction, rather than on the actual evidence: a moral certainty)~ When I last posted I decided I wanted to venture into a tangent about inhibitions in our new lifestyle. Of course one wonders what the heck I mean by new lifestyle ... I guess I am simply referring to the use of the internet as a social outlet. Well actually a sexual outlet to be exact. In case you can't already foresee where this is going - I have admitted I am addicted to MSN. One of the reasons why is that online chat creates a world of intimate encounters without ever having to officially meet someone. What is it about cyber space that allows one to suddenly lose their inhibitions? To be willing to bare all over the world wide web to someone who may not even know their name? I think that once I finally cover Questions #2 & #3 I will venture back into this territory... but until then I need your comments, your thoughts, your adventures... I need to know that what I have encountered isn't rare or maybe is :-D XOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 01,June,2004 | About three months ago in a frustrated and sleep deprived state I wrote this: I want to be taken back to those days I fuzzily remember, where every touch melted and every thought collided, where I was someone's and they worshipped me... Am I remembering this correctly? Because my heart still aches and I am still alone. I guess this begins to sum up my views on the first question from my last post... 'What has been my best/most intense sexual experience to date? Why and could that experience ever be recreated?'. I know that no matter how hard I would try to live in the past, there is no way I could ever recreate that one moment in time. And the question soon becomes why would I even want to recreate or relive it? Wouldn't new adventures be far more fun? Groggy from lack of sleep and still stoned I am awoken by gentle kisses on the back of my neck. I am sure he murmurs something in my ear ... but at this point I don't care. I am with him and that makes me the happiest (little do I know that three weeks later that illusion will be shattered ~ and yes I am still bitter about it). Because I am still so out of it, every touch seems oddly magnified yet dulled at the same time. Of course I knew his intentions... and of course there was never any debate when it came to any sexual act he requested or desired. Even though I thought I was always the one in control, I realized very quickly that I was there to fulfill him. When he took me from behind that early morning, I literally thought I was in Heaven. I had never felt such intense pleasurable pain before. I finally understood what it meant when something 'hurt so good'. And despite many occasions before, that morning marked the day where I learned that it is possible to literally soak the sheets. I could recount the details of every touch here for you, but I see no purpose in that exercise. All it will do is frustrat me and make me even more bitter. However I can pinpoint why that was the most intense experience I have ever had ... it was pure f*cking. Nothing held back, no inhibitions, no worries ... Whatever felt good happened. And that folks sums up that experience ... I learned that day that lust is a viable emotion. That love has nothing to do with a sexual experience, as long as you can let go of your inhibitions. This leads me on a tangent... Inhibitions ~ what are they and why do we have them? In our new lifestyles have they changed and do they even still serve a purpose? MMhmmm - until then ;-) XOXOXO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 31,July,2004 | I know - its been awhile since my last post. The truth is I have been realizing dreams rather then just writing about them. And today marks the first day in well deserved week long vacation. So for the next week you will be subjected to my discoveries and thoughts while on vacation! Notes to self: Do not travel to or from Toronto on a weekend when ANY special event is being held. Especially when you have to pee and are three blocks from the apartment and know you can run there faster then the traffic is traveling. Cum in the eye is not a pleasant experience. However when one asks if it's the Toronto smog that is getting to you - just smile and nod. Dog will not pee or poop in a strange environment and would rather make you suffer then relieve herself. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 06,July,2004 | I bought new shoes today - that always puts me in a good mood! I admit I am a shoe whore .. but a girl has to have many passions! One of my favourite classic sites is back up and running and amuses me to no end every time I pull it up! urlLink http://www.madsci.org/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/~lynn/jardin/SCG/ Be sure to be surrealistly complimented yourself! And if you feel the need to shower me with many presents ... you can never go wrong with pink things (especially pink sock monkeys!). I think new shoes turn me into a girlie girl! On a more serious note ... my personal life has taken an interesting turn. As you may already know I have been fallen since the moment I met the boy; now I am ready to fall even more. I have taken a big step and faced my fears and realized that I am so ready to let him into my life! (he makes me soooo happy!) So let the games begin! |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 05,July,2004 | If I could pace the floor I would. I have never been one for waiting... in fact I am grossly impatient. I am still awaiting the transfer status of my credits. Still awaiting my schedule to be posted at work to see if my hours are cut back. Still waiting (yet again) to be back in my baby's arms .. *sigh* and on top of all that I still haven't had the time I wanted to work on anything. Sucks how life gets in the way. But I had yet another amazing weekend. I have found literally everything in a person I didn't even know I was looking for. My partner and nemesis all in one. Someone who challenges me but keeps me grounded. Someone who seems to read me and my needs. It will be such delicious fun to explore the future. That is once I am done waiting... I hate waiting ... |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 02,July,2004 | Did I ever mention I hate moving? Oh no it wasn't me moving, it was the boy. Although I was grateful to spend the day with him, I think under other circumstances it would have been more enjoyable. However this new apartment means being able to set up many cameras ... hmmm. The good news... my work hours have officially been cut back. The bad news ... less money coming in to do research and make the doc ... *sigh* |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 08,August,2004 | Today is officially my last day of vacation. I slept in far too late, got groceries and went to the new casino. I want to go to Vegas even more now, and I want to take the boy with me. In fact I want to have the boy with me everywhere, anywhere, forever... Going to the dr's tomorrow. See if I can go back on the pill. You would think that there would be more options, but meh no, my body doesn't take well to hormones ... If it was a man that had to be worried about getting pregnant and he couldn't take hormones - you know they would have a solution for it instantly. I am still amazed at the amount of crap I have amassed. I need to scale down even more ... I guess I am just thinking towards the future and the hopefully idea that I will eventually be moving. Yup, get a decent job in the big city, move to the big city, and take less of my amassed crap with me. That's the plan. Well, I guess I should consider going to bed eventually tonight. Except I slept in way too much and I am no where near sleepy. Guess that's the vicious cycle of being lazy... Soon that laziness will be taken over by insanity again. In a way I can't wait. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 07,August,2004 | urlLink Me and the goats urlLink |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 06,August,2004 | The boy had to leave today - so I have been in a sucky mood all day. Haven't even bothered to get dressed. Seems pointless when there is no one around except for four legged furry beasties. I hope the boy knows how much this past week meant to me and how wonderful it was to have him beside me everyday. I got around to posting more crap on eBay. This after I decided it was time to finally start cleaning up my mounds of stuff. Threw out boxes of boxes ... not sure why I was keeping quite so many. Came across some clothes I forgot I even had too. No money though - too bad :( Downloaded the pictures from the vacation with the boy. He is truly the yummiest - of course I am biased. Mind you others agree that he is amply endowed and looks tasty - so I know its not just me. I guess I will go protest my loneliness by eating something completely unhealthy for me. Jalapeno stuffed poppers sounds tempting about now. I guess absence makes the heart ache, but makes the reunions so much better. Soon I hope I don't have to go through this every week. XO |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 06,August,2004 | urlLink |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 05,August,2004 | Today was the last full day to spend with the boy. Makes me sad to part ways again for a week - guess in a way that is a good sign. Got home to a house full of cats - good thing I left with a house full of cats or I would be shocked. As independent as they are the kitties were grateful to have someone home again all the time. Captured some very interesting video while on vacation. Very enjoyable to create and watch. Shame I can't share it here *giggles*! |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 05,August,2004 | Hard to believe that on Tuesday I have to go back to work. Although this time has given me a chance to think. I really need to find work that is better suited for me. Where I can be creative and use all of the edu-ma-cation I have earned. More alone time with the boy, more play, more exploring, more just enjoying our love. It will be hard to part again after this week. One of the suckiest things about a long distance relationship ... I am going to apply with purpose to all jobs that I want. Whether at home or in TO. I need to break free from this cycle. And with the new school semester I think its time to just jump in head first. Pissed off though. My course is barely part time which means I will have to start paying back OSAP unless I take a few extra courses elsewhere. A good thought but still have to crunch the numbers. Also have to wait till the end of the month to discover if I really do need to seriously find a new job too .... who knows if my contract will be re-newed, and if I even want to stay. Note to self: buy the boy a toy and use it on him. |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 04,August,2004 | Finally a full day alone with the boy. Time to enjoy each other. Now I know my new favourite form of exercise :-D Thank gwad the boy enjoys exploring, and dress up and toys... Dog has finally decided that yes, she can pee and poop in a strange neighborhood. Had New Gen Sushi for lunch. If in TO you must go ( urlLink http://www.newgeneration.7h.com/ ), the Crunch Maki set is very yummy. Wish I had millions of dollars to forever eat sushi, drink expensive coffee and buy pretty pink sparkly things. Musn't forget went to Urban store, wanted to get new binder for studies. Will not in my right mind pay $22 for a binder - even if it is pink and has the Paul Frank monkey on it- except of course unless it write my thesis paper for me. However, I did get a sweet purse. Oh my I am turning into a girlie girl! |
3,482,287 | female | 26 | indUnk | Libra | 02,August,2004 | Day #2 - OK off to the cottage we head! Sure its Sunday just before noon - who is going to be on the roads now? Apparently half of the freekin' GTA. It took 3.5 hours to get from Canada's Wonderland to just out side of Barrie. Wooo hooo! Let the good times roll! Finally get to cottage, sigh of relief. Remember to look up Christadelphians. Day #3 - Sun, sand and sleep. Dog apparently does not understand the concept of the boat and does splits trying to board. Ahhh so nice, but can't wait to get back to the Big City to spend some 'quality time' with the boy *wink*. Day #4 - Head back to the city. Thankfully traffic has subsided. Note to self: get diaper for future road trips as a spastic bladder is not pleasant to deal with! Looked up Christadelphians: urlLink http://www.christadelphian.org.uk/ . Sure, whatever makes your boat float. |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 02,July,2004 | Congratulations Isabelle ! We are all really happy for you. Yesterday Isabelle, Mukami, Els and I went to eat out at a Thai restaurant amidst my urges to go watch the Czech whipp the Greeks, well tough luck since i had to face the Greeky night all night due to the insatiable noise that was just incredible....Portugal had better get me my mood back. Im still deeply in Pain for France's Loss. Well, it finally hit me i have just a couple of days remaining for my term to be over in AIESEC in Belgium, Diana and Paola arrived and melancholic waves are beginning to crowd my mind, not just missing the people that i have learnt to love but missing Brussels. Brussels is one of those cities that will go in my 'Livre d'Or' Its a mixture of the whole world in one small place, the chaotic lifestyle, the modesty, the full of life city where you can never miss out on a free concert..... but what i will really miss is the Grand Place and the thinking moments, people and feelings it always allowed me. Only if i could carry you with me. Love, Life and Grand Place Emily |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 02,July,2004 | I think it has taken me a year to finally say to myself 'I am creating my blog Now !' It took a while ..... but i finally overcame the procrastination, its a pity though because lots of fresh experiences have passed me by and now i can only probably share them vaguely or share what i see today or tomorrow, soon i will hopefully make the presentations more interesting with pics and stuff.....Well, I welcome you all to Providence and enjoy it, but most importantly...... share your thoughts ......Heart, Hands and Soul, Emily Don't sacrifice your life to work and ideals. The most important things in life are human relations. I found that out too late. --Katharinde Susannah Prichard Australian Author |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 09,July,2004 | urlLink Very Integrated European Wannabee's (Except for Oli) |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 08,July,2004 | urlLink Some good memories of Belgium - EU Enlargement Day on the 1st of May at Cinquantenaire, that must be the biggest flying flag i have seen, The spirit of intergration was in the air with the new 10 countries joining the EU. It was such a special feeling to be there on this day !! Above view me, Tasha and Olivier infront of one of the Directorate Generals of the EU Commission |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 08,July,2004 | urlLink Calvin and Hobbes |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 07,July,2004 | urlLink The Colour Of Life Is Love |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 07,July,2004 | Thanks to Dan, Last week I got an invitation to attend the prestigious private event of the inaugration of Prince Phillip as the President of the Club of Rome Brussels Chapter, Talk about being in the right place at the wrong time, there was about 80 people, everyone seemed to have been one of those great achievers and it was alittle embarrasing having to present exactly who i was.... You should have seen the grin on my face when i met the Prince and chatted alittle about AIESEC to him, the beautiful thing about it was the fact that these guys are now tired of old blood and the presence of young blood at this ceremony was really encouraging for them !you can catch up with me later for the 'detailed' side of the story but first let me share with you who these guys are and how wonderfully thought their ideas are. For those of you who dont know, who are 'The Club Of Rome ?? They are a global think tank and centre of innovation and initiative. As a non-profit, non governmental organisation (NGO), they bring together scientists, economists, businessmen, international high civil servants, heads of state and former heads of state from all five continents who are convinced that the future of humankind is not determined once and for all and that each human being can contribute to the improvement of our societies. They aim to work as a global catalyst of change. They do this by taking a global, long term and interdisciplinary perspective aware of the increasing interdependence of nations and the globalisation of problems that pose predicaments beyond the capacity of individual countries. These guys are a bunch of high standing and achieving dons in their field. Brushing shoulders with these guys was one of those AHA ! experiences for me, the need to Master self, the need to use your talent, the need to act and not be acted upon, the need to recognise the power of 'interdependence' and the need to understand what truly is self actualisation. Later, i will share with you thoughts from some great guys i met there ! |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 07,July,2004 | 'The universe is one great kindergarten for man. Everything that exists has brought with it its own peculiar lesson. The mountain teaches stability and grandeur; the ocean immensity and change. Forests, lakes, and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes--every form of animate or inanimate existence, leaves its impress upon the soul of man.' --Orison Swett Marden |
3,726,867 | female | 24 | HumanResources | Pisces | 14,July,2004 | Attitude. (some wise words stolen from a friend) The instruction to be unhappy, as written by P. Watzlawik, is so amazingly simple, because it just states, that it is us deciding, how we want to live certain moments. I more than once received the feedback to be an eternally smiling idealist. Don't be proud of not smiling. Be proud of your attitude, but don't judge others'. 'The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.' |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 31,July,2004 | ok we got webspace off abp for bgs but of course as always my ftp wont workwith it grrrr, and abp ftp wont work about spelling well ill try 2 improve but theres no point changing previous posts cause no1 gonna look through them again probs The signature aint there cause im using google bar's blogger 2 do it and the signature doesnt appear with it grrr just finished starwars 4 aint on site yet still want ppl 2 look at it incase theres ne problems urlLink http://homepage.ntlworld.com/robertcbeckett/starwars3.html |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 29,July,2004 | Note to Beckett: Post your name underneath each post and freakin' c heck your posts before you post 'em , most of them have at least one typo! Can you go through your last posts and edit teh typos! :P lol Anyways, heres a progress report of my flash anim: Graphics: Scene 1 preloader: 100% Scene 2 introduction [40 secs]: 0% Scene 3 meeting: [20 secs]: 0% Scene 4 road: [66 secs]: 100% Scene 5 shrine: [60 secs]: 60% Scene 6 Credits: [10 secs]: 0% Total: aprox: 3 mins 6 secs and 260/600 [43%] Sound: All scenes: 0% Total: 0/600 [0%] ETA: August 2004 Yes I know, its pretty late, but its gonna be damn good... Well at least I'm gonna try to make it as good as I can, and if it turns out okay, I'll submit it to newsgrounds. Well, maybe :P Jamie , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 29,July,2004 | Sheshkerli nomads have declared war on me...lovely. Right, I'm just gonna make my own custom preloader, then Episode 1, the Way will be ready. But being ambitious, i'm starting Episode 2, A Saviour from the Way. I'll just say that Rhue teams up with 'Red Hair' to save a lady who was taken hostage by Blue Scarves, notorious bandits. *Yawn* Goodnight, Shecklers. Tull, urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 29,July,2004 | i could have conquered it butn i got really pissed off with the story line, ill try and get the ending sorted out and i should get mine finished by tonight |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 28,July,2004 | But... er... Will Be... Eventually... But fret not, I shall have it done... Soon... Over and out James , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 28,July,2004 | Right, this is a broadcast on Shecklevision. I have completed my movie, Wanderers One. Approx. 80 secs of stuff, excluding the titles and 'BGS Presents' etc etc. I'll send it to Jamie when he comes on...I SAID when he comes on...Grrrr... So that's the deadline conquered, I shall finish my articles, and get ready for Episode 2! Tull, urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 27,July,2004 | if u want i can nick the code, using this program i have, ill gte ya the scripting and send ya it |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 27,July,2004 | Bleh... Found quite a nice tutorial on urlLink Flash and shaking browser windows Slightly over excited, but anyway, Now to find some way to integrate it into my flash... Over and out James , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 27,July,2004 | And my Sheckolollies are tasting good today! And news that David Blunkett is getting ready for one of his crackdowns, this time against bad language on British TV! Deadline, I should be able to meet it. Have screenie here ^^ http://img66.exs.cx/img66/8246/Wanderers1Screen.jpg Proof that I am working and almost done. Let's see...let's take a picture of the workplace too. The library's huge though :/ http://img66.exs.cx/img66/6782/Wanderers1Workspace.jpg THESE STUPID F-BEEP-ING TAGS! Right, screw this direct linking, it's f-BEEP-ing up the toolbar thing on the side. Note that the three Lyns aka Assassins who are not being slaughtered are still in the same place as in the movie screenshot above. This is merely due to the fact that I haven't done their fighting bit yet. But I shall be back...with my movie next time...at least I hope i will...meh... Tull, urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 27,July,2004 | testing out google blog thing lol can everyone meet the deadline you dont have to be ready till thursday but i would recommend to finish them on wednesday, if you cant hand them in on time dont worry but try and hand them in before saturday |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 26,July,2004 | ok sent every1 an email witha preloader in it, plz put it in the first frame of your movie. just started my movie today lol but as long as i dont go anywhere tomorrow or thursday it should be ready on time, pretty rubbish graphics, made a room and the walls looked like they were about to fall in lol, the spaceship is like a palace made urlLink http://homepage.ntlworld.com/robertcbeckett/PENALTY.html earlier, tutorial was in a flash magazine and just followed instructions, not gonna put it on bg site though cause i never really made it Beckett , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 26,July,2004 | I sent you an email recently, sould tell you about the deal. You know the terms about the email. Hopefully, the deal will be finished, and be successful. Until then, keep up the good work lads. I have every bit of faith in you (well, ermm, maybe :P) Jamie , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 25,July,2004 | Bleh... Okies Becket, problem is though, I don't have any decent pics I can use, I ain't at home, so all my stuff is unavailible... :/ Where is our board anyway? Over and out James , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 25,July,2004 | ok i wont make whiffy then just alot easier cuase i have the story already written but i must admit the story is 2 boring!!! and so is my movie most ppl will just close the window before its finished no action really but if i make like 20 seconds per each chapter and put in the most exciting bits then it should be ok, but since james dont want it then i wont do it, gonna make starwars 3 can ppl please go to forums for sum ideals, thanks i was talking to fish about the webspace supposidly we need a link to abp on every page at the bottom, jonny want a banner but fish says a text link will be ok (gonna put it in as small as i can like 1pt well ill send him a tet page and hopefully he'll allow it if hes in a good mood) James if you want the picture on the site changed email me, dont really think you want a pic of a guy out of tekken for you, but maybe you do, email me Beckett , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 24,July,2004 | Bleh... DEAR HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF GOD NO, NO, NEVER, NOT THAT STUPID DOG AGAIN Got it? Over and out James , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 24,July,2004 | hey does anyone think i should redo whiffy, theres way 2 much text in it that u dont need and just takes up loads of time plus i may add in chapter 2 and 3 riefly not gonan go into much detail just gonna do basics so what do ya think or should i just do starwars Beckett , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 23,July,2004 | And a call to all you graduates of Sheckingversity. I'm slowly progressing on my movie. Don't expect it to be the best...i should be able to make the deadline. Jamie, me, you and Fish need to talk on msn in a convo, most likely Monday to decide on the forums? Fish is considering quite seriously. I'll stick in a pound a month instead of 50p. Call me generous ^^. The reason i wasn't on today was because i was working at mum's takeaway. Don't expect me on tomorrow either. I'll just be working on Friday for this week...normally just Sat. 3Fusion sounds good and l33t i must say and uhmm...i shall visit Sheckington now. So goodnight. Or goodmorning i should say...(geez...four in the f-BEEP- morning.) Tull , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 23,July,2004 | ok take it not much work has been done today? han hasnt been on msna dn neither has dragontail so it is only me doing work and i havent started nething new, all ive dont was change the name on all my flash to bg studios and add blood and sounds to in agfa2 (screams) gonna send jamie the zip with all the webpage files in it now, if possibl can ppl use the forums and give me ideals for iagfa3 (in a galaxy far away) really need more ideals and i dont have the best imagination Beckett , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 22,July,2004 | was talking 2 fish he said perhaps you should tell him if he reduced dragontail, to the standard that i am now thinking for as a standard of about 25MB.... i would definately agree to give him 200mb for free which would be with him getting 225 in total and also, he would have to agree to the new use policy for both accounts which would account to sooner for him than when i intend to fully bring it in though he could be assured that i couldnt be assed with the copyright thing and you can probaly get jonny 2 increase it after u reduce it Forums the forum i made wasnt for the public its just for us to use cause i want ideals for my new movie and using the blog means it will get relaly crowded with posts so thats why i used the forum Beckett , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
3,961,110 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 22,July,2004 | Got a chance to post before I go and play footie with some friends. For the site, I ask Beckett to send me all the .html files in a zip to my gmail, I want to make a few minor changes, such as font consistency, parts of the writing, and some other shit. Dont expect it returned soon, though, maybe in 1 or 2 days maybe. I'll spend 5 minutes a day trying to fix that all up. Also, all the PCs are the QUB computational PCs my dad has, and he has decided to replace his old networking/try out a new one, with a new switch, so he told me (phoned from China) to look at possible configs. I also decided to reformat the other old athlon 600 pc and install a fresh copy of XP for no reason. Anyways, theres a slight problem with the forum business. The forum was suppose to be for all 3 sites, dragon-tail.tk, blackghoststudios.tk and dbeckett.co.uk , so it cant be just called ' Black Ghost Studios Forum '. It has to be for a name for all three sites' forum. Maybe like ' 3Fusion ' and the motto ' Synthesis of Dragontail's Lair dbeckett.co.uk Black Ghost Studios ' or something like that. Go to our current forum mentioned by Beckett below and post ideas. I also think if we combine the news/improvements/general talk section of all three sites into each main section, so instead of 3 news, 3 general talk, etc, we have 1 news, 1 general talk, etc and each section is for all 3 sites then we can get more posts in each section, thus making it more busy than each seperate one. Get me? Anyways, the forum needs to be split into boards and sub-boards like the following: News -> Whats new?, Future updates General -> General chat, Flameyard (ie spam can, no rulez), Recycle Bin (ie, all moved topics gets put into here temporarily) 3Fusion chat -> Suggestions 'n' Comments, Content (talk about content, ie flash, games etc), Affiliation (sorta like where ppl post to affiliate) What do yers think? Anyway, I'll email fish now for the forum and the extra webspace in a new account for 'bgs' with a password which i will send to you via email. I'll ask for 200MB (which is well enough, considering an avg flash anim is around 1-2MB, thats like 200/10 anims), and I'll pay him a fiver for that and the new forum, if he is a bit unhappy. Unless you are all meanies, everyone pays a measily 50p and I'll pay £3.50, in the senario. actaully, I'll email him when I get back. Easier. Respond here with your ideas, Jamie , urlLink Black Ghost Staff |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.