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3,320,022 | male | 26 | Telecommunications | Gemini | 21,June,2004 | US : With more than forty operators already delivering advanced mobile services to customers in 22 countries and territories across Asia, the Middle East and Europe, 3GSM is asserting itself as the global 3G standard. Delivering a wealth of innovative new services to consumers such as video on demand, high-speed multimedia and mobile Internet access, 3GSM exploits the potential of content rich information and communication around the world. 3GSM also brings substantially enhanced capacity, quality and speed of data transmission. Incorporating a radio interface based on Wideband-CDMA, 3GSM is the 3G-upgrade for GSM, developed jointly by standards bodies from China, Korea, Japan, the United States and the European Union. 3GSM is the technology choice of 98 percent of operators who have been granted spectrum in the 2GHz band identified by the International Telecommunications Union for 3G. As 3GSM rolls out across the world, customers in Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Australia are already enjoying its many benefits, with launches to follow in Singapore, Malaysia and Taiwan this year. In addition, Indonesia and New Zealand are moving toward launch. “All 70 networks that will be delivering 3GSM services by the year-end are utilizing the 2GHz band in which China intends to deploy 3G,” said Rob Conway, CEO of the GSM Association and a member of its Board. “Only one operator anywhere in the world has so far deployed an alternative 3G technology in this band. This global commitment is fundamental and demonstrates where economies of scale in the 3G market will be found.” Growth is expected to accelerate from the current 3GSM global customer base of more than five million, as the number of commercial networks increases to at least 70 by the year-end and handset launches by all the world’s leading manufacturers eliminate supply issues. “The greater availability of 3GSM handsets in China’s 3G trials programme is a further reflection of 3GSM’s superior maturity in the 2GHz 3G spectrum available in China,” said Conway. Craig Ehrlich, GSMA Chairman and board member of Hutchison Mobile, said: “The opportunities for China with 3GSM are immense. Operators benefit from international roaming and economies of scale; manufacturers gain equal access to global markets; IT, software, application developers and content players are not locked out as in other systems, and ultimately consumers enjoy value from a greater variety of globally compatible products and services. These benefits can only be delivered by an open system and a non-proprietary philosophy.” Made up of board-level representatives of 21 operator groups, including the world’s 12 largest operators by subscriber count, the GSMA Board met this week in Beijing to acknowledge China’s contribution to the success of GSM, and to demonstrate the Association’s commitment to supporting China’s Government, operators, vendors and customers during the transition to 3G. China Mobile and China Unicom both sit on the Board. The world’s billionth GSM user was connected in February 2004. China’s unrivalled contribution to this milestone was reiterated when the Chinese GSM user base passed the 250 million mark in April. “The impact of GSM in China has been profound,” added Ehrlich. “It has been the primary driver of mobile penetration and has propelled China Mobile to the status of the world’s largest mobile operator and China Unicom to the number three position. China Unicom’s GSM customer growth in 2003 exceeded that of its CDMA network. Also during 2003, China’s GSM users made a staggering 585.4 billion minutes of voice calls and sent 131.2 billion text messages. GSM accounted for 93% of Chinese mobile revenues.”* China alone has more GSM users than the global customer base of the next most widely used mobile technology - CDMA. China Unicom’s GSM customers base is bigger than the combined customer bases of the world’s three largest CDMA operators – Verizon Wireless, China Unicom & SKT. “GSM is unique among mobile technologies in having a clearly-defined user benefit – international roaming – at the heart of its design,” said Rob Conway. “Roaming creates a discipline amongst operators and their suppliers to comply with open standards, promoting inter-operability and creating economies of scale that benefit end-users. 3GSM builds on this heritage. “3GSM is changing the mobile world. Users in Japan and Korea will benefit from improved roaming services as their deployment of 3GSM brings them into the GSM community. There will also be wider economic benefits as their manufacturers will gain greater exposure to the global GSM/3GSM market, concluded Rob Conway.” “As we look toward the Beijing Olympics of 2008, the opportunity for China to serve a worldwide audience, and many millions of inbound visitors with compelling next generation mobile services has never been so apparent,” concluded Craig Ehrlich. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 27,July,2004 | A2 Art Fair has concluded and I am preparing to move about 8 blocks across Ypsi. Goodbye to my overpriced yet beautiful Depot Town apartment, hello to EMU's student ghetto. What can I say? As an stifled artist, I am hoping that the noise, trash and abundance of fellow students will push me into a new creative space. HA! Ignore the fact that my description makes it apparent that this 'awakening' will be much different than I expect--i.e. 2:30 a.m. travels across the street to tell neighbors to turn it down, and yet 2 hours later I'll be on my third beer. O the romantic notions of the alienated writer! Not to mention that I am a senior and this is my final hurrah until I become a 'real adult.' It really bugs me when people say that, as if upon graduation I will simply begin my march toward death--listening to and lusting after Rod Stewart and wearing holiday themed sweatshirts year round. I formally pledge that I will retain my wild eccentric side as I age-No better, I'll fall further into a wackyness that is oblivious to what others think (so that I have full licence to wear holiday themed sweatshirts year round). No really, to hell with our youth-worshiping society, I can't wait to be a wise crone who doesn't give a shit. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 20,July,2004 | Is it not completely unnerving that JK won't let anyone really know what he is about? Its all strategy, it seems, to use blanket statements like 'optimism' and 'respect abroad' to explain his views on the world. The guy wants to keep us in Iraq and increase military funding, yet thinks he can foster respect for the U.S.? |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 20,July,2004 | The Ypsi road work has been driving me crazy, but I found a pretty good shortcut today. I got a scenic route through the neighborhood just past the high school. Its really beautiful over there--lots of really old big trees and modest houses. I think: wouldn't it be nice to teach at Ypsi High when I graduate next year and buy a funky house in that area. But then it occurs to me that the kids I teach will find out where I live and egg my house. Oh well, it adds excitement to life. I've also been enjoying riding my bike up Huron--man those houses are amazing. The thing thats funny is in one block, it turns really scary. The e-way does it, I think. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 18,July,2004 | Ok, I've wanted to do this for quite some time and now I'm there. I'm not sure what my blog will look like, if there will be ads or if I will really like it, but here goes. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 18,August,2004 | 'A Purpose Driven Life' by Rick Warren states: 'You don't bring glory or pleasure to God by hiding your abilities or by trying to be someone else. You only bring him enjoyment by being you. Anytime you reject any part of yourself, you are rejecting God's wisdom...God says 'You have no right to argue with your Creator. You are merely a clay pot shaped by a potter. The clay doesn't ask, 'Why did you make me this way?' ' |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 04,August,2004 | More from 'A Purpose Driven Life': 'Jesus said, 'If people want to follow me, they must give up the things they want. They must be willing to give up their lives daily to follow me.' Let me warn you: when you decide to live a totally surrendered life, that decision will be tested. Sometimes it will mean doing inconvienient, unpopular, or seemingly impossible tasks. It will often mean doing the opposite of what you feel like doing.' |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 04,August,2004 | I need to formally apologize to my family for my political opinions, which have been so annoyingly vocalized over the last couple years. Although no one has approached me personally, many of you have said that politics and pleasure don't mix. In other words, I bring the stuff up when people are relaxing and want to forget the somber realities. I can understand this, although I personally find such discussions enjoyable, and always try to make lots of room for diverse opinion. Whatever the case may be, I am currently investigating the best means of channeling my idealism, which most likely will involve working with the Kerry campaign in this fall... |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 04,August,2004 | i have been staying up much too late lately. Ha! The reason tonight: I left the new Portifino Cafe that has free Wi Fi and I got back to Raul's and I still had a connection, and had one since. Exciting to me, it really is. So I've been taking care of buisness cause the iBook has to go to the doctor tomorrow. Lets hope the logic board concerns are unfounded. I bid on a cheap digicam tonight too. Its time I get one--I'll never make up my mind so I decided to go low scale and move up later. Oh I'm hoping to make it to the Detroit Jazz Fest on Labor Day weekend, lets see if I can get it off work. A little more than 2 more weeks till school. I'm excited and nervous about all that I am taking on. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 04,August,2004 | Check out the August version of Ann Arbor's 'Current' for the full interview with Buddhist nun Robina Courtin, but I need to include my own favorite quotes: Mark Ziemba: What was it about Buddhism that attracted you? VRC: I had never looked at myself - I had never put myself together. It's like having your hands tied behind your back and trying to do something useful ... At the most simple level, the more you're caught up with attachment and anger and fear ... the more limited you are in your capacity to even see others, much less help them...when you go beyond that ...then your capacity for compassion is limitless. VRC: Buddha would say at the deepest level we are all - each of us individually and collectively - literally creators of our universe. VRC: We have this very extreme tendency to paint a person with one brush. They do one bad action and we see the whole person as bad - we define them as bad. We do that to each other all the time, and we do it to ourselves. We do certain things that are wrong, so we walk around with self-hate and guilt... ...The whole Buddhist approach is that we have to be more realistic in seeing ourselves, more humble in owning our negative qualities without feeling guilty, more brave to know we can change them and more optimistic about our good qualities, which will help us move toward them. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 03,August,2004 | This really good urlLink article details the pros and cons of Kerry's performance-based initiative that will reward good teachers, while disbanding current measures that protect bad teachers. While the plan is fraught with potential problems, I personally like the plan for many reasons, particularly because it offers monetary incentive for great teaching ($5,000 raise). This measure is breakthrough because according to Kerry, it begins 'paying teachers like the professionals they are.' Unlike other professions, teachers are often not considered well-trained professionals that constantly learn and improve. Instead, tenure track teachers ease into comfort and lax methods. More on this later. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 03,August,2004 | Lately I keep getting that classic Freudian psychological model in my head: the iceberg of human consciousness, with what you are aware of above the water and what you are not aware of below the water. Of course, the real message for me is that the majority of the iceberg is below the water, meaning that much of your own personality is unconscious motives and issues. My own astrologically sign, Cancer, has much to do with this metaphor, in that a Cancer is strongly attuned to her emotional ups and downs, many of which she is not fully cognizant of. What bothers me about this model is that knowing myself seems so far out of my grasp, and even when I begin to touch on my character, it seems that this model has a way of disregarding my findings. As I do begin to realize my strengths and weaknesses, I laugh because a part of me willfully decides to deny these realizations. Why? I believe that a part of me has a (albeit false) vision for who I am, and anything that contradicts that is rejected. It makes one wonder how deeply one has been fooling oneself...OK, I'm starting to sound like Sybil, the multiple personality victim, but I really do think that this is fairly common. We aspire to certain ideals, visions of who we would like to be, and these visions are not always positive or feasible in relation to who we really are. That makes little sense, I guess. I keep thinking of my Dad--one time he told me that when he finally accepted his strengths and weaknesses, he was much more on target with what he wanted to get done. Yes it's intuitive, but hard to make happen! |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 02,August,2004 | Last night I had a dream that a short-haired young woman took myself and a few others hostage! She was violent and creepy, but I won't go into full detail of what she did. I decided at one point to try to win her over by complementing her. After that, she sent me this email that was multi-dimentional, it had flying objects and the strangest juxtopositioning of words. Although I knew that this note meant that that she liked me, I had a chill as I realized that she was completely insane. I woke up after that. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 02,August,2004 | I wanted to give a shout out to my boyfriend Raul for helping me move this week, as well as for putting up with my bitching due to sleep deprivation. Man do I get crabby if I don't get at least 10 hours. Last night I think I got about 12 and I feel like a different person. I hope someday I will be more like other people who can sleep 8 and remain functional and happy. I would get so much more done. But I really would miss my many hours of dreams, which don't seem to happen when I cut the 12 hours short. Raul also helped me through the stress of moving into an apartment that wasn't ready in a number of ways, most significant: the toilet won't flush and the carpet in the bedroom looks like 30 cats got trapped in there for 30 days without a litter box. I had talked to the landlord about ripping it out a long time ago and he agreed. So now all of my stuff is in the living room as I wait for this deal to happen. Raul reminded me that everything will be resolved and that some good will come out of it, as with any drama. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 02,August,2004 | I read a great article by Paul Krugman about the dangers of urlLink touch screen voting, and it is important to get the word out. Ironically it is the Republicans (Jeb Bush) who block an audit of the systems, yet are the same who benefit from their use. Krugman does a good job of stressing the integral importance that a paper trail has to the American people's faith in voting. It makes me so angry, reading a urlLink recent poll of African American voters who admit a loss of faith in the system, which to a degree can be credited to the 2000 election. In that election, a group of African American voters were illegally disenfranchised, unable to vote because the system claimed they were felons. Turned out they weren't. It's just fucked up that the Republicans are now potentionally getting what they want--people are disgusted by the system, so they don't vote in 2004. I haven't been blogging because I have been moving. I am finishing up my last load 2night. I am so happy to be online right now, typing on my pretty white iBook. I feel shallow. When did I become so addicted? Yeah, there were those 3 months when I was 19, when I chatted till 6 a.m. Hey, I was living with my parents. Then I reverted back to my classic self that tried to detest technology, buying tapes and resisting cell phones. My boyfriend had a computer that he brought with him when he moved in, and I jammed out on it to a minor extent. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 02,August,2004 | Since I am now in the process of establishing my own apartment after 2 years of living with my boyfriend, I have a new found interest in views on cohabitation, in particular how it affects women's mental health. I have always been pretty interested in this stuff, but was reminded when I was reading blurbs in Cosmopolitan while at my aunt's house. One blurb cited a study that 'proved' that women's mental suffered when cohabiting while men's thrived. The source was not cited. I've been browsing online and found a few weak sources including urlLink this poll which was conducted in the UK. I am continuing research on this, but I realize there is a lot of ambiguity and confusion. When I cited the initial blurb to my boyfriend, he reacted defensively, which could be expected. I also told him about what I read in my women's lit class that dealt with women's mental health and marriage, and again he saw such literature as subtle man-hating. I can see his perspective. I also keep thinking about a study I read a few years ago about a rise in cohabitation in the U.S., which I recently looked up and found urlLink interesting results . While the reliability of this reading is up in the air, I like that it discusses the pros and cons, as well as the reasons people are choosing to live together more than ever. I have questioned my own motives a lot and have come down to financial reasons as one of the biggest motivating factors. More on this later. |
3,967,618 | female | 25 | Student | Cancer | 02,August,2004 | I forgot to thank my amazing mother Kay for her work in 'blitzing' my house--it is indeed her specialty. She provides moral support as well as hard labor in many moves throughout her family/friends. Not to mention her militant throw-away policy that helps pack rats in denial, like myself. Her common move-out quotes include: 'Use it or Lose it,' 'This room is over-chotched' and 'Burn 'em and buy more.' While on the topic of my mother, I just wanted to get this conversation in writing: We were discussing the now defunct Mudhouse building and I was explaining that the spot is a potential goldmine. My Mom got her creative juices running and started inventing names, her favorites being Campy Campus Cafe and The Kat (the later would include her huge collection of cat thchokeys). Also, she was brainstorming on a Broadway theme...I'll try to remember the menu names she came up with later. |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 29,June,2004 | urlLink well...its almost 1 in the morning. cant seem to fall asleep tonight so i thought i should update the good ole blog. still no gmail invite in case you care... as for today's picture, this one is from my trip to the beach this past weekend with two good ole pals, shell and boyle. as you can see, im having lots of fun at the beach. can you find me? if you can locate me in the photo you will be eligible for a special prize. see you all soon. otto urlLink |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 27,June,2004 | urlLink well... its been a good weekend, went to the beach yesterday and you'll see more from the beach adventure this week. today read the newspaper in the hammock, went for a bike ride and tried out the new clipless pedals. only fell 1 and a half times so i think that's pretty good. now i'll head off to church, maybe barbecue my dinner, then spend some more time in the hammock... ahhhh life is good. see you all soon otto urlLink |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 24,June,2004 | urlLink so heres today's picture. its a picture of me on the tower of terror in disney world. thas my dad in the center in the green coat. as you can see, he is totally terrirfied by this tower. i am to the left of him. i am equally terrified to be in the tower. but look at the sistah in the front row in red. shes totally cool about being in the tower of terror. shes all like 'yeah... what... this tower is my beeeotch. lets roll out...' contrary to that woman's expression, i must tell you, my friends, there was much terror in that tower... that tower of... terror. urlLink |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 23,June,2004 | ok everyone... thanks for the couple of comments... indeed alan, the people who search for 'Barely Legal Teens Naked Celebs Pics Videos 100% XXX Asian' are just the type i want to attract here. so yeah... if you're one of those looking for such stuff, theres plenty to find here and its all real and theyre all really really good looking. just send me an email with your credit card number and exp. date. as per shel's request, everyone take a look at this urlLink article ... thrashers fries are so good. right now im thinking about how this weekend i will eat them until im sick. and then after i get sick how i will still eat more as if i didn't learn my lesson. kevin, still no gmail invite... im thinking ill get one in a week if i keep on posting everyday. anyways... check back later for today's picture and the ensuing heated discussions. see you all soon. otto |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 23,June,2004 | urlLink ok... 1 blog and 1 comment later, thanks alan... i'm gonna go ahead and post what i said i was going to do. this here is a picture that i took during my first ride on my recently purchased bike. i would say that 'i like this picture' its the washington monument... theres some pretty trees... they have flowers. all around very nice. except for the chick in the corner. she totally ruins the scene and i get quite frustrated when i look at the picture and absorb in all its goodness and then remember that the girl is there in the right corner. i'm sure she's really great in real life but in this picture, i must say i dislike her with all my might. anyways... back to work. please post a comment so ill know if people are reading this. you dont have to register or do anything funny to post either. talk to you later. otto urlLink |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 22,June,2004 | hi all, this is my first blog.... i dont know what im gonna do with this thing. i mainly signed up because i hear if i post a couple of times to this thing ill get a gmail invitation. anyways... i think maybe ill put pictures here... and if anyone here looks at them then they can say something about them... like 'i like this picture' or 'i dont like this picture' and then ill reply and post here something like 'i agree with you' or 'i disagree with you' and it should be a grand time for all. what do you think? what should i put here? (other than porn) if you dont know what i should put here at least say hi to me and let me know that people will actually look at this. i promise to post much more witty, insightful, intelligent, thought-provoking, compelling, smart, fresh, funny, original, and witty, and intelligent, and insightful stuff if i know people are looking at it. talk to you soon otto |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 22,July,2004 | hello all, well i broke my promise and didnt post pictures sunday, but here they are for real this time. in celebration of this coming weekend's beach trip and hopefully crab fest, i will finally post the rest of the pics from my first beach trip with shel and boyle... thrasher's fries are so good. as you can tell both shel and boyle think they are money. shel is a nice guy. he will probably blog here soon about food that is good. trust me, shel is probably one of the world's preeminent authorities (along with myself) in classic, as well as, modern foodology. im thinking if you ever meet shel, you would have to at least refer to him as dr. shel. anyways... hopefully that was enough shameless plugging of shel that he will continue to read this blog and not cut my readership by 33%. oh by the way, did i mention that shel is very good looking and very much what the ladies want? anyways, back to the beach trip. the boardwalk is always tons of fun at the beach. here you can see me having tons of fun spraying pirates with water. haha... silly pirates.... well... as you can see after all the fun at the beach, one can get really tired, especially after eating thrashers, grotto pizza, a couple of lemonades, water, a soda... yep its a tough life at the beach. so that was my beach trip. maybe next week you'll get to see some pics of guys eating crabs. oooh... doesnt that sound delicious? talk to you all soon. otto |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 17,July,2004 | sorry the posts aren't coming as frequently as before. once a week is still pretty good right? first off let me respond to some comments... no alan, gmail doesnt mean gay mail or girly mail or g string mail or... galapagos islands mail. it is a free email account from google who owns blogger.com. you get 1gb of storage which is a gigando amount of storage which i intend to fill with pornography, bootleg movies, and illegal mp3 downloads - the only 3 useful things to use the internet for. this is contrarty to what most people believe the internet is useful for. in fact, practically no one uses the internet for meaningful research, doing online banking, or keeping in touch with old friends. even if people do use the internet for such activities there are vastly more people using it for downloading porn, and illegal movies and music. anyways... thats what gmail is. right now not everyone can get it. you must be invited to receive it and i hoped that starting this blog might get me one of those coveted invites. contrary to what jd said, you are basically not cool if you do not have a gmail account. it is a known and proven fact that people with gmail accounts are money. they are more likely to be cool, successful, and have a much higher percentage of scoring with insanely beautiful women. so you see jd, it is very important for me and also for you, and for that matter, everyone to get gmail accounts. if we dont get one soon or have to wait till gmail gets released to the general public we might as well shoot ourselves in the face. ok, enough with that now on to today's pictures... actually i have to go now and take a shower, so i promise tomorrow i will post pictures. talk to you all soon. otto |
3,721,842 | male | 23 | Student | Aquarius | 12,July,2004 | sorry for not blogging in so long. things have been sort of busy and i have switched to a new computer. its also become clear to me that i will probably not get gmail by doing this so these past couple of days ive been deeply pondering what to do with this blog... and after many a torturous night, wrestling with my inner demons, and searching the deepest depths of my soul... i have decided that..... the blog must go on.... so loyal readers (sasso, shell) fear not, for more witty, interesting, compelling, funny, light hearted, serious, intriguing, enlightening, intelligent, gripping, and witty, and light hearted and interesting commentary on the issues that matter most to us will be coming soon. there's also been massive interest from numerous readers (sasso, shell) to open up my blog so that others may try their best to provide witty, interesting, funny, serious, compelling, enlightening, gripping, witty, and funny posts. however, this blog shall remain otto's blog because... i have no idea how to change the name of it. in any event... if you want to blog about stuff email me and ill figure out how you can do that. either way... if you post a comment that gets automatically posted on the blog. so yeah... look forward to guest blogs about pirates and dinosaurs and why they are so money and why ninjas are big fat hurtings... and also blogs about pictures ive taken and maybe blogs about food i've eaten along with blogs about food shell has eaten. sorry no pictures today. i dont know how to do that with this new computer. see you all soon otto |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 03,June,2004 | This is Jessica, Lil D's older sister. I'm setting up her blog. So enjoy!!! |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 26,May,2004 | So many things have happend in the past 2 weeks. I dont even know where to start. Ok, my so called *clean piss test came up POS. I went down state and fell back in like with someone of the past. Moving in with my mom, once everything here gets settled. Sammantha moved in with me and my family. My sister is going to moveback on the 6th or 7th. I dont know what to fucking do any more. When i was sitting in my PO's office and he was talking about do i really want to see my mother and father's face again when he has to put the handcuff's on me again. Right then and there is when i lost it, i cried and cried some more. But then i came at a sort of peice with my self, hey i smoked weed and i got busted, not Jeff or my dad i did. If they need or feel that i should be sent away then that is there call, my life is basically in their hands and they have the choice to do what they will. Now on to my like. Steve Chapman i dont know what it is about him, but everytime im around him my knees get all shaky and i well you know.Last night on the phone i was talkin to him i had to pretend i was outside and say that i was cold, so that would dimiss the nervousness in my voice, i mean i always used to be cool with him and never really thought of him as a friend untill like a year and a half ago, the day he kissed me on my 16th birthday.Im just a little confsued on whether or not he feels the same way i mean when i talk about him comming up and what not he kinda gets all silent. I dont know what its from but hey. I always do this i know i like someone and then when i tell them they get all *uhhhhhhh? and go good bye! and then run thehell away. am i that grosse that ugly? what is it? do i not have a personality or too much of one? FUCKING TELL ME PLEASE! |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 15,May,2004 | Hello again, today has started out quite well accually. #1. I didnt wake up with a hang over which is kosher. I woke up to my friend Tracy asking me to borrow a pair of pants and a shirt for work, so i got up and helped her out, then she went to work. i got around did my hair, blah blah blah and so forth, helped my step mom out some by cleaning up a bit because she is having a crystal party for some folks trying to sell what they call Princess House? Not really into that to much, its like a pimped out tupper wear party. O' and i made these bangning smoothes today with strawberries, bannanas, grapes, orange juice, some strawberry juice, sugar and some Koolaide mix to give it a lil oomph! Today is the day i go to port and tell the dude i like that well i like him, you want to know whats funny, this whole fucking week. ok i've teetered on the edge of loosing 2 of my best friends, all because i was trying to help 1 other friend and have there somewhere to stay for her. so she wasnt homeless:( i think thats exceptable? Well some people seem to think that its not:/ so what are you spost to do when something like that happens? Fuck if i know i was asking you? |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 14,May,2004 | What do you do when someone who you think is aspost to be your 'friend' notice how i emphasize aspost, might only be using you to get what they want.Well i guess we all use someone in some form or another to get what he/she wants out of life. But ya'll know what i mean but USING someone to get what they want. now ill be blunt ( i love blunts) alison is pissing me off with the she did this and she said that accusations about me and my friends, i mean please? How fucking old are we? i have said some things in my short time lived on this earth about people and what they are doing but at least i feel like shit after saying it. some people have no remorse for shit like that.well ill end this short blog with this. fuck you and have a nice day! |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 26,June,2004 | Daily Teen Forecast for June 26, 2004 Provided by Astrology.com Weekly Forecast Does an old friend seem like an ideal fit? Go with your instincts on this one, but try to keep up a little curtain of caution -- you don't want to stake everything on one person, after all. |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 16,June,2004 | robert i dont know what to do with you anymore. i love you i really do, but i dont want you to hurt me or for me to hurt you. steve may be anoying and slow sometimes more than often, and i know now hes not all about sex. You and I make really kosher friends and thats never bad, lets keep it that way, no more playing with eachother. Move on and move out. steve your a douche...lol i love you ALISON,MIKE,CASSY,SAM,KRIS,AMANDA,DIANA AND ANYONE I FORGOT I LOVE YOU |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 16,June,2004 | robert i dont know what to do with you anymore. i love you i really do, but i dont want you to hurt me or for me to hurt you. steve may be anoying and slow sometimes more than often, and i know now hes not all about sex. You and I make really kosher friends and thats never bad, lets keep it that way, no more playing with eachother. Move on and move out. steve your a douche...lol i love you ALISON,MIKE,CASSY,SAM,KRIS,AMANDA,DIANA AND ANYONE I FORGOT I LOVE YOU |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 16,June,2004 | 'MMMMMMMMMM!' I love the simple things in life. Johnny Depp, and Dr.Pepper. What a combo... |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 16,June,2004 | Ok,i think im just going to get up and leave and go downstate. Would anyone even notice? no one calls me or visits me. its like they dont even care. now i know the whole 'well jesi you did this blah blah blah...' what the fuck you would think i would know this by now! all i want is for someone with some time. thats all i want. O' and yesterday robert came over to get his hoodie from me, and pulls me aside and says jessica you know i still love you and all of this stuff, yada and so forth and it made me feel really uncomfy like he was trying to get with me again, and then we were chillin and stuff and he's all huggin me and kissin my neck, what kinda shit is that? im like please stop and hes like no i dont want to. well ne ways i dont know what the fuck i am doing in this hell hole, should i leave or should i stay? |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 09,June,2004 | Sometimes i wish, well all the time i wish that i could find someone to love me for me. and not worry about all the little nit picky things. For all you that know me you know who i am talking about*hint hint. blah! i was so sad today when he left. i told myself i wasnt going to cry but then i got in the shower and i was listening to EE-My Imortal and there i went tears and all thinking that i wish i could be with him. i slept so well the last 3 nights knowing he was here and in my arms.:) and the this morning i got all fucked off cause i woke up and i was in my bed. Now i know i got a lil drunk last night and i know that i fell asleep with him on the couch, and then i woke up in my bed. now what the hell is wrong with that? O' my dad just told me he told me to go up to my room at like 4:30 a.m. he he he . lemme tell you the last couple nights have been crazy. Git-R-Done me and well ya'll know, every night and lemme tell you im paying for it today!!!! I didnt want him to leave. god i didnt want that to happen! O' some good news. I might be getting off of house arrest sooner than i thought. i was spost to get off july 28th. bull shit! no monk-ee shit. and all i have to do is my C.service and my fine and then my hearing and im getting the hell out of podunkville PA. and down to some flat land. but ya know i have no job openings for me up here, they are like whats your full name and im like blah blah, and their like 'we'll call you?' yea ok. so blah ok im out peace |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 07,June,2004 | Why does he always have to be like this? I mean sure he buys me this and that, but does that accually mean he fucking cares. Ok granted he gets me out of trouble, but who the fuck cares? Sometimes i wish he would just let me go and wish me luck. Say goodbye let me be who i want to be. If i want to smoke pot, have sex, drink and fail school then thats what i want to do. Im so sick of living up to 'his' expectations. there bull shit. All i can say is 1 more 'fuck you' 'you better find a place for your friend to stay' 'i dont even know why i bother any more' imma leave and never look back. i have my mom, steve and so many other people who i can be with and have some sort of a life and not have people so god damn involved. you want to know what fuck it any more i wish he would fucking go away like he says he going to do 'someday' and go to bum fuck to egypt and not come back. i hate it, and i dont know why? |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 02,June,2004 | Ok' So guess who finally fucking got here? You guessed right! Steve-O Yippie fucking Ki-ya. Well thats all i have ill post tomorrow to let in the juicy lil' details. love ya'll peace... |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 02,June,2004 | Ok im a lil i dont know how to explain it,i want to say i think i feel something for this someone that i know and i dont know how to explain it? I dont want to say love because everytime i even want to say that word it always ends in heartbreak. Doesn't it almost always seem to end like that? I dont want a boyfriend, i dont want a relationship all i want is someone to love me for me and not for my body or my this and that. i want to love someone who i can love them for them. just i dont know for some reason i got real sad all of a sudden. i was talking to my lil sis Kory and shes like im sick of my dad calling me names and saying my mom and ken and you are worth nothing. and shes like i just wish someone i knew, knew what i was going through. and i said hunny i know i know more than you will ever know. and for those of you who know me you know as well. but ok im better now i can breath better and my heads a little well you could a lil more clear. but yea im so glad steve is graduating. Wow,at least someone has their priorities straight. lol. well im not going to write much but i love everyone and well 1. assume the postion. 2. masturbate, masturbate.... |
3,348,033 | female | 17 | Fashion | Sagittarius | 01,June,2004 | Sometimes i dont know why people have to be the way they are. I mean cant we all just smoke a bong (cant we all just get the fuck along)? Ok, this whole thing with ali, sam and cassy i think personaly is just shit! i mean common i love them all with my heart and i dont even care if their friends or ne thing, i just want them to solve what their (fighting) about and get it the fuck over with. im not blamming ne one or pointing the finger at ne one i wish that i wouldnt have to be stuck in the midst of all of this. i could just say fuck it and walk away but im not someone who likes this to happen or see this happen to ne one. so in a way im putting myelf in this postion. but on a lighter note. MY BABY IS COMMIN TO STAY WITH ME!!!!!! Steve is commin on sunday and i cant wait i love this boy more than ne thing besides my family and other friends, and i dont know if i love him like ( i love him) or if its more platonic? guess ill have to find out huh? and i cant stand being on in home detention its driving me mad, i want to get out there and do something and be something but i feel like im stuck somewhere that i cant go ne where. *probation, i mean i always have this HUGE weight on my shoulders and i cant get rid of it! IT BLOWS. o well it will all be better someday. Im going to cry when steve leaves because i know i wont be there to go home with my mom and what not when they leave the 9th, unless my hearing is the 9th. and then i will have a rulling at least. well i love everyone. good night |
3,741,966 | female | 43 | indUnk | Leo | 24,June,2004 | Where to begin?! The beginning would be good but I feel that jumping around keeps you on your toes more...jazz's things up a bit! You are going to go on a strange trip, so grab a cocktail, sit back and buckle up...you are in for a long strange ride...YE-HAAAA! First of all I must confess that I am the worst writer in the world, my grammar, punctuation and spelling are atrocious. It doesn't matter that there is spell check on this...it just don't matter! I am hopeless!!!! I feel very old but I know I really am not. I am only 42, well I will be 43 soon. I am a single female, well not really single. I am in a relationship and have been for almost 6 years. My relationship is with another female who is 3 yrs. younger than me. What is age? Just a number. I don't look my age. I look maybe 5-6 yrs. younger than I am if not more on a really good day! Now my body feels like it is 143, which is a shame and that's a novel in itself. I feel like I am such a failure and a disappointment to my mom, my partner and myself. I have some sisters, 3 to be exact but it don't really matter, they aren't much better. I think of them as 3 peas in a pod all fighting for lead pea! I don't care what they think about me or my life style. I think I am disappointed in life myself...Is this it? Is this all I get? Well if it is I want a refund or I would even settle on an exchange! I know it isn't really fair to say 'IS THIS ALL I GET' It is the cards I have been dealt, its no ones fault that I haven't done something with myself and my life, not anyones fault but my own. Have I been lazy? I think so. I also think some of it has to do with no encouragement in my younger years. I was really good at the artsy stuff in school. As a matter of fact the art classes are the only classes that I did good in and actually got a's...A+'S at that. As for all the other classes I was lucky to get D's. I had no interest in anything other than art when I was younger. Had I had encouragement who knows where I might be right now instead of here. But no matter what, how I have turned out, how my life is right now is my doing and no one else's. I could have pushed myself to go to school, to make better job choices and to do a bunch of things differently. I guess I blame myself. I have to. Alrighty, this is it for now, tune in another time for more! |
4,225,511 | male | 27 | Technology | Gemini | 20,August,2004 | Dude, you'd think it's a joke but uhh... they made a Ultra-man style Kiko-man (kikoman is a soy sauce brand if you don't know). I hope it's a prank... I thought Pepsi Man was kinda crazy already. urlLink http://www.seanbonner.com/blog/archives/000322.php |
4,225,511 | male | 27 | Technology | Gemini | 18,August,2004 | urlLink http://host1.cj-8.com/ Makes you think twice, uhh wait 200000 times before you buy an H2 gas eating monster. |
4,225,511 | male | 27 | Technology | Gemini | 16,August,2004 | urlLink http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?41181 |
4,225,511 | male | 27 | Technology | Gemini | 13,August,2004 | urlLink http://www.flack1.f9.co.uk/projectferrari/index.html Enjoy! |
4,225,511 | male | 27 | Technology | Gemini | 13,August,2004 | I've always been confused about the two terms and I finally did a little research on it. Very informative read here: urlLink Twin Scroll Turbo Now when it comes to Twin Turbo, there seems to be two different versions: Sequential Twin Turbo, and the regular Twin Turbo. Twin turbo is simply fitting 2 turbo chargers under the hood; while the Sequential Twin Turbo means having two different turbos under the hood, having 1 cover for the other's shrotcomings. Here's a short quote: 'he Supra's engine has a 0.5-litre swept capacity advantage and it also relies on just one of its sequential twin-turbos to give a massive whack of boost (and therefore torque) at low rpm and load. The second turbo then comes on to maintain torque in mid-to-high rpm and load ranges. Put simply, this two-stage turbo system gives a tremendous dollop of torque everywhere in the rev range. The Soarer - most unfortunately - doesn't have a sequential turbo set-up. The gasses exiting its 1JZ-GTE head are constantly divided into two simultaneously operating turbos; this means boost response and low-rpm torque are both a fair way behind the sequentially-turbo'd RZ Supra.' and that's not it... there are quite a few other turbo variations such as twin entry turbo which has 2 divorced turbo inlets. I think I've had enough of this for the day... |
4,225,511 | male | 27 | Technology | Gemini | 13,August,2004 | Several bookmarks for myself... :D urlLink Pikko's Pot urlLink WRX noise question on Cobb Forum urlLink Herman's FFXI corner urlLink The WERKS WRX urlLink Gold WRX urlLink APS high flow Turbo Discharge urlLink Mr Josh Pulley urlLink Siya & Linaaa urlLink Kastle's Korner Steering Rack Bushings urlLink FoundryFX |
4,225,511 | male | 27 | Technology | Gemini | 13,August,2004 | Well I never thought I'd get one of these... but I really can't come up with a better way to store my bookmarks across all the different computers I use. I was going to put the links on a page and put it on one of my sites, but I'll have trouble keeping a single most updated version without confusion. So here we go :) I was browsing urlLink nasioc and somebody was asking about those white lights (with a blue film). I came across a very good read a while ago, and learned a lot from it. See the link below: urlLink http://www.danielsternlighting.com/tech/bulbs/blue/bad/bad.html Modding my car has been a very good learning experience, although it's uhh... quite expensive. X_X |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 25,July,2004 | Lost. Thats where i am.... Where in my life can i find God? I've been pondering this for a long time, and somehow i get the feeing that i've not found him anywhere in my life at all. Looking back, i find my life is corrupted with sin, and the evils of sin still tempt me today, making it so difficult to love the people around me. Sucess, wealth, grades.... they have their value, on Earth, but not in heaven. To the rich man who asked 'What must i do to inherit eternal life', Jesus replied, ' Give away all your riches and come follow me'. Indeed, i acknowledge that nothing bound on Earth can be taken to heaven. But then, i also realise that i've not done anything in my life out of the love Jesus has given to us. I want to follow Jesus, but i just don't know how. I've stopped praying regularly and have even stopped being attentive at mass. Whats happening to me? I'm like the lost sheep. Without my shepard, i fall prey easily to the snare of the fowler. My only hope now is that my shepard comes looking for me, and finds me. I want to return to prayer, to be in communion with Christ. And i know that so long as i repent, and follow my shepard home, He still has a place for me. 'He who has never loved, has never known God.' |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 20,July,2004 | I've become so uncertain about so much recently. About GP, about Chinese, about PW, even about whether i'm treating my friends the way they deserve to be treated. I've also realised how distant i've become from God. Right now, i feel perfectly fine, pretty happy in a way, but empty inside. That only tells me how temporary this pseudo-happiness is. I've become so drawn into the riches of this world, i've not stopped to consider whats really important for the next. Right now, i wish to return to prayer with God, to tell him how sorry i am for leaving his company, for not being a good neighbour, for not appreciating my friends, for not trusting in him, and for even allowing evil thoughts to corrupt me. Sadly, its not easy. I've apparently lost this love for prayer, and i've lost the will power to devote time to God. To my friends, though you may not know it, i've sinned against you in so many ways, in so many thoughts. Please forgive me, and pray for me, that i will return to prayer to seek the Lord, and to answer his voice.... |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 16,July,2004 | This week was killer, i ended up sleeping past 2 on tuesday, past 1 on wed, and past 2 on thursday again! What was the cause? PW...... Ultimately a big waste of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But crap, i want to do well for PW, so i guess i gotta work for it. I'm so not in the mood for work........ Can't believe it. On one hand, i'm glad Sat has come, but on the other hand, soon it'll be sunday, and then Monday would be coming round again......... I miss my BPS days so much, the sick humour, the teasing, the close company and most of all the carefree feeling. AJ is nothing compared to those days. |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 09,July,2004 | God has indeed blessed me! Its just i never stopped to notice His works through the simplicity of everyday life! Today, i got to know my GP marks. I had been so certain that i was going to fail. I barely knew what i was writing on that day, and i hadn't even planned my essay!!! In fact, if u ask me, i would say all i wrote was nonesense!!! But to my surprise, i scored an A2!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!! In fact, i even told Mr Sakar that i didn't deserve the grade! I certainly must say, God has answered my prayer that day. I still remember vaugely how i prayed: ' Lord, if it is your will that i fail my GP exam, give me the strength to accept it Lord. I do not blame you Lord, but i ask that You help me to continue placing my trust in you, and to continually thank You for everything You have given me!' In a way, God has taught me so many lessons through this. Also, i learnt that God is always there, no matter what, i just never noticed.... |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 05,July,2004 | Today Miss Goh returned F-maths Paper 1, thus giving me my 1st ever B in my entire career as a Maths student. My heart just broke when i saw the 63%. I didn't have to console myself nor give myself excuses. Though the paper was tough and there was a major constraint on time (the entire level didn't finish the paper, not even the top student), i knew i had fallen short of my capabilities. What was the cause? Complacency. Yes, i was too over-confident that i felt i didn't need to practice Differenciation and Parametric Eqns. The only Question i scored fully was 3D trigo, which was actually the only chapter i bothered to practice the night before. Despite the paper being difficult, i actually could do all the qns. But because of my lack of practice, i was unable to think through the qns quickly enough, and frequently got stuck due to careless mistakes. i have only myself to blame. What made my day worse were the hurtful comments i recieved from people. Fine!!!! Shoot me with comments like 'Don't be a jerk Chris, 3/4 of the level failed and you're mourning over your B ' ; ' You are ****ing egoistic Chris. Stop acting, we all know you did well'. They think i'm just ACTING disappointed to draw attention to myself!!!!!Fine!!!! Be happy with your F then!!!i know it looks good on you!!!!!! Ppl don't understand that we all have different expectations of ourselves. They think that i have no right to be disappointed just because i did so much better than them!!! Why can't they be more understanding? I acknowledge that at times i am egoistic, and can be over-contented with my grades at times. But it only adds on to the disappointment when they say things like that when i'm already upset over it... |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 05,July,2004 | I don't know whether to say today was fun or not.... Technically, there wasn't much we really did. The morning was rather wasted as Jon, Angie and I ended up going from place to place, only to realise that all the shops we were looking for were closed. We were quite BoLiao, as in, we ended up riding from Bishan to TP and back to Bishan. Other than a movie, nothing else was really accomplished(except maybe planning for Choir Outing). Speaking of accomplishments, sigh..there was just so much i could have accomplished during the holidays, but never did. I realised long ago there was no point looking forward to the end of Exams, as after that normal lessons resume and i'd end up dragging myself home at 8 plus again!!! Maybe its time i start planning my aims for the 2nd half of the year. I certainly hope i accomplish it this time. Top 5 acadamic aims i wanna achieve from now - Get my PW work spiffed up. I can't believe i put this off during the entire hols!!! Lazy me!!!! - Collect relevant PEARLS Points. I seriously hate the PEARLS system! Yet i have no choice but to submit to it... - Improve my Chinese. The Senior Minister once said that not everyone is cut out to be billingual. I'm gonna prove him wrong! - Improve my GP. Darn, i still can't get over the fact i screwed up my midyrs for GP!!! - Finish all my tutorials on time.(still got 1 Roots and 1 Vectors qn unsolved) Top 5 personal aims i wanna achieve from now - Lose weight. I think i'm getting fat, i seriously need to start working out. - Train my vocal range. I've yet to hit the high G. If i can't make it, i'm gonna be a screeching banshee when i do tenor. - To be on time. Could somebody tell me how many times i've been late already???? - Improve my piano and guitar. I still suck at sightreading, and my guitar pieces still sound horrible on recording. - Get Shao Wei (My student) to score 1 for his AMaths. If he does, i might get promoted. |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 04,July,2004 | I feel so uncomfortable when ppl talk behind other ppl's backs. Why isn't it possible to just, tell them in the face what the problem is???? Each time i hear of this, it pains me knowing that out there, someone else could be talking behind my back, without me knowing, holding some sort of grudge or dislike towards me. At least if i knew what they had against me, i'd be able to change. But no, we humans would prefer to bad-mouth, and keep it from the person.I'd rather they just tell me straight in the face, and utterly destroy my self-esteem instead of keeping me in the dark, and allowing it to insidiously tear me apart. Yet then, i contradict myself by doing the same. A cowardly act of a wimp, one might say of me.... |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 04,July,2004 | I've been wondering for ages if there will ever be able to let this problem out of me! I can't stand it when i try to tell someone, and the person doesn't seem interested. I don't get pissed off with the person.Instead,i get pissed off with myself. It makes me become a victim of self-pity. Ah, self-pity,the most useless emotion in the world, yet at times i indulge in self-pity, thinking it'll make things better and ppl will take notice. Well, i'm a stupid fool everyday of the week, always bringing out this emotion, even now as i type this msg. Even worse is, i don't even know how to define my problem. It makes me feel even more that this is just an all act of self-pity. I can't stand the emotion, but i can't escape it, just can't escape it..... |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 15,August,2004 | Self-pity. I encounter this emotion daily as well as have observed it in the people I know. At one glance, such an emotion seems harmless, but yet, this emotion, which so many have grown so comfortable with, is a sin that is one of the most difficult to overcome. What is self-pity? I have asked myself this question and still have yet to find an answer i am satisfied with. Generally, when we indulge in self-pity, we choose to think that we are the victims of our problems. We then want people to see us in the same way, as victims. We start to enjoy people's concern, and just can't seem to get enough of it. We want people to continue to see us as troubled, in need of concern, and overwhelmed with problems, and to acknowledge it openly to us. We start to abuse the good intentions of those who are really concerned, by making them more worried about us... Soon after, we start to create problems for ourselves. Every single thing that upsets us becomes a reason to fall ill with depression. We enjoy the concern people show us so much that everyday we choose to be in such a state. Instead of getting better, we convince ourselves that we're worse. We become masters of reciting our woes... Eventually, to justify ourselves that we are really in such a lowly state, we tend to remark about how much we hate ourselves, how we are overwhelmed with problems, how inferior we are, how insignificant we are, how incapable we are, how depressed we are.... The reason self-pity is a sin is because it is directly opposite to the Gospel's teachings of self-denial. Self-pity is self-centered in nature, as such emotion focuses on only the individual. Self-denial completely discards the individual, and in self-denial, the focus is on others, not on oneself. Jesus spoke that 'if anyone wishes to follow me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.' Also, self-pity keeps us from seeing the needs of others. In all that we've come to understand, we believe that only our problems matter, and those who really need our concern, our healing touch, become secondary to us. Yet there is nothing wrong with wanting to share problems, and opening up our unhappiness to others. The difference between opening up ourselves to someone, and self-pity, is the respect and appreciation you have for the person's concern. Self-pity yields no appreciation, nor any form of gratitude. However, it is not the end of the road for those who are ensnared by self-pity. Self-pity by itself is a choice one makes, and hence all it takes is the decision to come out of it. Before healing the paralysed man, Jesus asked him, 'Do you want to get well?'. Jesus is telling us we have to make that choice. After that, Jesus says, 'Get up, pick up your bed, and walk.' In other words, we need to take decisive action to overcome this self-pity, and to do something about it. I believe i can end my indulgence in self-pity, but the struggles in faith every now and then have certainly made it seem very difficult. I still need God to help me in overcoming all of this, and i pray that He'll be there to tend to my needs. ' O God, forgive me for being so self-centered, for wallowing myself in self-pity. You have given me so much, friends and family who care for me, yet I have convinced myself that their love is not enough, each time I choose to appear to them as a victim of sorrow. Lord, help me to remember that even if all the earthly love i have was spirited away, Lord, your Love will still remain, and that I can always rely on you Lord, to tend to my sorrow. Amen.' |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 13,August,2004 | I really owe Vaibhav a great deal of gratitude for pointing out to me how extremely inconsiderate i have been towards Vanessa and Nay Ling all this while. I was too blind to notice that my actions have upset them. Indeed, my actions were dispicable, centred only at self-gain and nothing else. Right from the start of PW, i've been making them upset with the things i say, and the way i choose to do things. It was all for a self-centered motive, that is, to get through PW as fast as possible and do well. To do that, my plot was basically to marginalise them, and leave the work to myself and Vaibhav, just because Vanessa and Nay Ling were not able to produce work as quality-based as us. So i left them out of most of the time when it came to distributing the work. And not only that, i even remarked at times about their incompetency, in direct conversation with them. I wanted so badly to do well for PW without having to be bothered by incompetent members, that i failed to realise that i was being such a disgusting creature. Eventually the group suffers. Miss Goh has placed a lot of negative comments in her report, about how divided our group is over the project, and about how there is no teamwork evident at all, and yes, its all because of my actions. Even then, i still had the cheek to tell Nay Ling, 'You need to speak up more during meetings, you and Vanessa are not contributing', as though it was their fault Miss Goh was disappointed with our group. She sure has got every right to be pissed with me. Only today did i finally realise the impacts and consequences of my actions. It took Vaibhav to tell me straight in the face that i was being so utterly self-centered, that i was always being very unfair to Vanessa and Nay Ling, and how i had upset them through my words and actions, which reflected very well that i thought of them as obsolete and less capable. Vaibhav knew that i was only interested in points and grades, and that i was willing to compromise trust and consideration of others in getting it. What he said that struck me the most however, was that all i was interested in was points,when it should actually be about thrust, not about points. I realised then that this was true. I had been self-centered and thought only of Points, and bothered myself at all with Vanessa and Nay Ling. I owe Vanessa and Nay Ling a really serious apology, not just for screwing up the project, but for hurting them. I also do owe Vaibhav a big thank you for finally bringing me out of this self-centeredness of mine. He has certainly opened my eyes to see the sin i have indulged in, and what he said has somehow made me a little wiser.... |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 10,August,2004 | Its become really difficult for me to be truly sincere about my prayers to God. I've realised long ago that prayer is more than just words, its more than just about petitions and a listing of intentions. Prayer requires a heart, and without that heart, prayer by itself has no meaning. I've been praying for an intention for the past two years or so, but i've realised that everytime, i've only suceeded at listing the intention before God. I've not put any real meaning into it. My faltering faith isn't enough to actually sustain it. Perhaps that is why i haven't seen God tend to it. I ask that God, in his mercy and saving grace, will so generously grant me that faith i need to go back to him, back to prayer and communion with him. 'God, please forgive me for not praying with a heart, for treating you as a servant each time i leave my unhappiness before you, with the mentality that you are obliged to turn them into joy. I ask that you Lord, give me the faith i need to serve you in everyway i can, and that i will see you Jesus, in every person whom i know. Amen.' |
3,838,209 | male | 16 | Student | Capricorn | 08,August,2004 | Today was a new experience for me, and a very memorable one indeed. I've always known that my singing wasn't that great, and that I've always lacked the enthusiasm and intensity, but well, i just love singing, and that was why i actually decided to get a group of ppl who were as enthu about it as me to sing for our birthday girl. Initially the plan was for me to duet with Angela, on a Whole New World. It was the initial idea until the Wednesday before, when i realised i couldn't get a pianist to accompany it. That very day, i phoned Jonathan to ask him, 'um...do you think you could learn a piano piece in just 4 days?' and he was like, 'What!? you kidding?' But somehow i had still convinced him to try. On saturday, Jon and Angie came over to my place to see if it was possible to piece the song together, and guess what, after the whole thing it was still in pieces. I had to become the pianist at the last minute, and Jon was left to struggle with Aladdin's tenor part. Later, Jonathan remembered he had so coincidentally been playing a Chinese song that was perfect for Alethea. And since i was her Chinese student, it was even more appropriate that i should sing to her in Chinese! The song (If i understand the words correctly), is about a person who's looking back in life, and expressing how meaningful her Grandmother's words were as projected in her daily life. Later, Daniel and Brennan joined in, and they had the perfect chance to learn Stay The Same, at the last minute, in fact, the last hour, an hour before we left for Alethea's place on Sunday. The experience of singing for someone just to show how much you appreciate the person can be really frightening. Basically, the fear is that you'll screw up (which i did), and that it will degrade the sincerity of the whole thing. I felt that somehow, if it wasn't perfect, it would be more of an insult rather than a strong sign of appreciation. I don't know if the rest felt the same way, but i know that Jonathan was desperately trying to relieve the tension by shaking it out, while Angela looked so calm it was frightening. Well, i'm glad that Alethea appreciated our effort a lot, and that she didn't mind us not doing a perfect job.I still however, would have liked it to be perfect. As what i was later told, maybe i am a perfectionist. Perhaps what this experience has taught me is that 'you can do so much without doing it right, but yet with the right heart, itself is already perfection.' |
3,428,127 | male | 23 | Law | Gemini | 23,May,2004 | sup sup yall! hope all has been well. if you're one of the few regulars on my xanga, im sure you can tell there have been a few changes. Namely, none of my previous entries are viewable. I'm sure you all remember firsthand that since i started an online blog two years ago, I've gone into exhaustive detail about everything thats happened in my life. Upon further review, I don't know if being so honest online was necessarily a good idea, as controversial subjects such as my journey in faith and your momz were discussed in great detail but were frankly too boring and introspective for the casual reader.* That and people got offended. As time passed by, I realised that unlike many people with online blog spots, my xanga was written primarily for me, and the few people who were crazy and brave enough to slog through the the deepest regions of my psyche. But its not for everyone and i acknowledge that half of the adult population today can't get through two paragraphs without drawing blanks, let alone spell their name right. Plus it was selfish of me to write about anything substantial or relevant going on in my life on this site, so I apologize profusely if anyones brain went 'ouchie' from the occasional usage. Sweeping changes are in order, and I have concluded that my personal opinions are better left private and unsaid. So from hereafter this blogspot will be reconfigured into a running commentary regarding the petty annoyances that cloud my life, which I believe is just enough to start a new site filled with the so called 'good stuff'. The other issues and musings that were previously dealt with here will be transpanted to a new site, one that is primarily for my records alone. If you care enough to want to know whats going down in my life, call or ask me, but no more cliffs notes for you, you lazy xanga whores. entries will become less frequent, as i'm shooting for once a month, but should offer a detailed glimpse into all the things that irk the shit out of me and might be amusing to you as well, giving back to the community never felt this good. no matter what though, I solemnly swear that this new site will never ever embrace brainless rehashing in the following vein, 'OmG, I WEnT oUT aND PaRTiEd at Blah BlAh aND sAw sO ManY pEoPLE...LIkE OmGWtFBBQ?!!?..' Not that theres anything wrong with sites like that or anything, its just there are plenty of other blogs out there with pretty little pictures of horseys that you'd probably like better than this one. i just want to emphasize before the fireworks start, I don't mean anyone any harm with the things that will be said, as its merely me blowing off steam after being stuck in hours of LA traffic. besides, i read somewhere that laughter is the key to healing one's soul. MY SOUL especially, but it's all meant in good fun. lighten up and save the PC rhetoric for someone else who cares. And with this lengthy disclaimer out of the way, i go to write about everything and anything. enjoy and seeya soon. - suky suk p.s. - most of the 'stuff' on this site is taken from experiences that I or my friends have gone through. The remainder is just made up. But the finished material is my own creation, and is the frantic product of me madly scribbling on millions of little post-its that aren't sticky anymore whenever I get an idea. Its a fucking crazy process and my desk is a mess but the satisfaction garnered is immeasureable. So please respect the site, and give credit where credit is due. Bite my shit, and be plagued with cold sores on your ass for an eternity. word up. * i love run on sentences now that college is over. I can cram in however much i want and no one can say shit. MLA 0 Me 10,000. Step off bitch. |
3,428,127 | male | 23 | Law | Gemini | 23,May,2004 | this is my new blogspot. same format as my previous xanga page, with the same monthly entries, but with my daily ramblings as well. the key factor in the switch was free image hosting and spellcheck. beat that xanga! |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 10,May,2003 | Dear Friends, I look back on my life right now and think about what I could have been. What I couldn't done or where I would be if things were differant. If I wasn't me. What if my parents weren't me. What if I didn't grow up where I did. What if I didn't choose the friends I have now. What if I conformed every moment when another human being forced me to. That's the big one really. So many people in my life attempted to force me into a certain lifestyle. Most of which didn't do it out of spite. They usually felt like they were helping me. But, how can you help someone you don't know. To fix a problem, to me, the best way is to gather all the information generally related and search for the right answer. So to help me, you would have to know what I was about. What my likes and dislikes are. What I love to do. What I hate more than anything. The things that make me laugh, smile, and cry. The things I am most passionate about. My dreams. Yet, no one seemed to take that step. Most of those people had some preconceived notion of what I needed and what was the 'Best for Me.' So the question I have is what if I believed those people. What if I said, 'Yah your right.' Would I be happier? Would I be miserable? Would I have met the people I have known to love as friends? Would any of you be eceiving this email? Would I be able to tackle simply things like ACHEIVING and MAINTAINING a steady girlfriend? Would I even be here? Yes. I didn't make it to St. Louis with aspirations of becoming a musician by shear luck. I didn't pick up my first guitar 2 years ago just because somebody left it there. I didn't meet the influencial people in my life just because I happened to live in the same town, go to the same school or be in the same room at the same time. Coincedence? No way Jose (shout out to my all-spanish speaking trainer at work...Jose:o) I made it here because this is what I was supposed to do. I made it here because this was my purpose. And I continue because I must fulfill my purpose. I must do what I was created to do. I can't do anything else. Because you can't FAKE your life. You can't be anybody else but, you. Dave Thomas founder of Wendy's loved his Grandma very much. She always told him 'Don't cut corners in life.' Hence Wendy's square burgers. It's corny but, it makes a lot of sense. I can't be anything other than me. I can't do anything other than what I am here to do. And I can't let anything that was dealt into my life for a purpose....pass me by. If I do the super secret drug called 'FoxDie' from METAL GEAR SOLID which was injected into my body by Dr. Naomi Campell right before my Spy Mission will go into effect. (I think I just figure out the girlfriend problem.....) Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 09,May,2003 | Dear Friends, So, This week I saw the best...and worst movies I have seen this year. It's kind of a tradition really. Every year within 7-10 days I see the 'This movie changed my life' movie and the 'I can't believe I just spent money on this' movie. Last years winners? Best - American History X (I know I seem to inhibit sloth when it comes to seeing movies when they come out) Worst - Mummy Returns (we won't speak of this movie.....ever....ever...again) Back to the point. The movie of the year for 2002 so far was a movie I have always wanted to see but, end up forgeting every Blockbuster trip. Dead Poets Society. Unbelievable movie. If you haven't seen it...I urge you to. If you have seen it....watch it again dang it. A movie like this should be viewed and then discussed until the wee hours of the morning (just before the trip to West Plains.....ok....sorry everyone else...only steven will understand that one.....which reminds me if you ever want to hear a REALLY funny story....). You can sit and relate this movie to life as easy as you can munch on a Freeze-Pop. And....just like Freeze-Pops there are so many differant colorful angles to choose from (except the orange ones of course...they are icky). The greatest of these though is the ability to realize that your life...is yours. Not anyone elses. True there are people in our lives that to guide us but, last time Webster and I were chatting....Guide did not equal control. The ability to control is so scary to me because it isn't in plain site. It has disquised itself in such words as 'Teach' 'Parent' and 'Raise'. Have you ever heard the words...'We know what's best for you?' Even the thought behind that statement thas been constrewd. The words should be...'We know a bunch of things that are bad for you and so we are gonna warn you about them.' See the a problem I have with the world today is the same problem that has been happening since it started. At some point...PEOPLE....STOP....THINKING. They get to a point in their life where they say...'well, I have learned everything there is to learn on that subject, so I don't have to worry about it anymore.' That's Cow-Poop. I am willing to bet everything I own (which really isn't too much) on the reality that Micheal Jordan does not know everything there is to know about Basketball. That Bill Gates does not know everything there is to know about Computers. That Kerri Maxwell is Pretty (how did that get in there) But, more importantly....That we DO NOT know everything there is to know about life. I sure as heck don't. Have you ever been sitting inside on a rainy day. You stare out the window watching each drop of water hit the ground. Imagine what it would be like to be holding your hands out staring up at the sky. Each drop hitting you as you play. Freely doing something that has always been deemed not right. I am not talking rebellion. I am talking about your mind. And the fact that it's yours. Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 09,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Alright. We are now starting week three of the Olympics (the truth is I don't really know how long the Olympics have been going on, I have just had t.v. for three weeks :o) Anyway, in three weeks, this is the ratio of events that have been offered on television for the Olympics: 75% Figure Skating 10% Speed Skating 7% Byatholon (an event which surfaces the question 'What does skiing up a hill and shooting a gun have in common enough to be in the same catagory?') 6% Curling (I won't even start...) And one Hockey Game One ONE!!! I have seen one Hockey game and more Figure Skating events than Baldwin Brothers. In praying to the Lord and asking what I had done to deserve this...the answer was quite clear. There are TOOOOOO many catagories in the Figure Skating event. So in order to even things up I have come up with some new 'Hockey-related' catagories that should be added to 2006's Winter Olympics. 1. MIDGET HOCKEY. Anything with a 'little person' is entertaining. 2. MUTANT LEAGUE HOCKEY. Every guy remembers that wonderful Sega Genesis game. You don't like the ref? Kill him. :o) 3. WHO'S HOCKEY IS IT, ANYWAY? A combination of Hockey and Who's Line Is It Anyway? Drew and Friends play normal hockey but who ever has the puck has to pretend like they are a chicken who just recently was beheaded. The Rules are all made up and the Points don't matter and two MVP's from each team have to do the 'Ho-Down' at the end of the game to a profession the audience yells out. 4. EA SPORTS OLYMPIC HOCKEY FOR PS2. Finally boys, all those years of practicing will pay off as you go to UTAH to win the Gold. Warm up your fingers.... 5. MOM ANNOUNCERS. The same normal hockey except we get two Mothers to announce. We will get MUCH more T.V. time with catch-phrases like, 'Another touchdown by the blue-shirt guys.', 'I think them two boys should just sit down and talk things out over some milk and cookies.', and the famous, 'Well, I don't know what kind of house he grew up in. I bet he would think twice about hitting that boy with his stick if Momma came down there and stuck this shoe up his ass.' 6. TACO BELL STEAK QUESADILLA HOCKEY. I am just really hungry right now. 7. WOMEN'S HOCKEY. What? They have that? Really? Wow... 8. PHOTON BALL. Roll of toilet paper soaked in Kerosine. Light it and play dodge ball with it. It has nothing to do with Hockey but......it's better than watching Elvis Stoyko's big nose.....again..... 9. REVENGE HOCKEY. Two teams. Team one: Team USA. Team two: Team Taliban. 10. CHUCK-A-PUCK HOCKEY. This sport is just like normal Figure Skating event except for one new addition. You guessed it. All the fans get unlimited supply of Chuck-a-Pucks to throw for the duration of the event. It's gonna be a little hard completing a Triple Axel with 10,000 black round biskets flying at you at high speeds. Heh Heh I ask that you pass this on to the Olypmic Creativity Board and offer Good Luck to TEAM USA in the Hockey Division. Good day...and God Bless Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 09,May,2003 | DEAR FRIENDS! Ok. I am gonna try and be calm. As you can tell by my subject title I am....somewhat.....excited. Please, friends, please....try to understand that something has just been made available to me that I have stayed up nights wondering, just how amazing it would be. At 21 years old, this is one of the few (I know...the few?) things that I constantly daydream about in a childish manner. I have accomplished every task there was: Recordings, Television, Internet Research, Literature and so much more. Each day, I moved closer to the real thing. I have been patient. I have been humble. I even gave up a blue Pop-ice to a friend and settled for an....ick....orange one. But, now. All my hard work and dedication and waiting and (obsession?) has payed off. Today..... I found out that Dave Mathews is going on tour in April. One of the tour dates. Rosemont IL. Right in the center of my hometown and my family. Oh yah. That's right. I am going to see Dave Live. The dates. Either April 26th or 27th. Preferably the latter since it is a Saturday and I do believe that there is a soul out there who made a 'promise' to go with me. (not that I am guilting you or anything Kerri...oops I mean....anoynomous:0) Today is a great day. I....now....will go do a 'Happy-dance' that somewhat resembles the one portrayed on the old sit-com....'Perfect Strangers' God Bless....and Good Day. P.S. I bet you guys thought I got a record contract or something...heh heh... Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 08,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Born in the third month Born at 3:30 Started skating when I was three (I have a picture to prove it) The guy's jersey number at my first White Sox game was Three Third time I learned how to ride a bike My first real friends (Enrique and Hugo...together we made the terrible three) Third Grade I took an IQ test and was put in the ACE Program The third person in the class to play the teacher in the toothpick game and the only one to beat her Three point shot I made (which is usually highly unlikely) in seventh grade to beat the eighth graders in the junior high Three goal decifit my hockey team came back from in one the last period on three seperate occasions Chicago Bulls - 3 peat Three Jennifers I have made out with (sorry jens) Drivers Test #3 (the same test everyone else got that told me the answers from their test) Three months I went out with Nikki Smith before I FINALLY got my first kiss ever Chicago Bulls - another 3 peat Amy Bates - 3:33 meant you were thinking of me... Millions of times guessing Answer 'C' and getting it correct Three WEST PLAINS Lori Bender...Friday the 13th..... Abec 3 bearings on my skates Three times I went after Jennifer Smyth. The third being the successful attempt 30 days I spent by myself decided on what to do with my life after the Nazerene church My first ever completed song...3 chords, 3 verses, 3 choruses Pizza rolls = 3 dollars Hockey Number = 3 Shanna....first kiss....3 in the morning Falsetto = 3 members Pick a number between one and ten....? Three hotels we went to before we found girls to hang out with on national 'pretend you are from another town and go meet basketball girls' day You always see at least 3 people you know in Walmart The third pool game was the (only) game I won to win a date with April Gentry I won 30 bucks off my first lottery ticket. The ticket = Scratch three Three Classes with my buddy Abby senior year Then there's Jamie The third time she came to my table I made her smile The third night we hung out we kissed for the first time The third time I listen to her song she came out of Pizza Hut The third person I was....um....with... Three songs I wrote about her The time I wrote the first one? 3 am 3 on Dave Mathews' necklace in the 'live at Luther College' tab book Sarah = Friend #3 lol The YMCA the third place I applied last summer and 3 million more reasons that I can't remember right now to explain the answer to the question I get pretty much every day... 'What's with the number three?' love you guys, Antny Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 08,May,2003 | Dear Friends, So I used to have this old, ragedy Seseme Street blanket. It was the most comfortable blanket I have ever owned. I mean, I have been through blankets. Big ones, small ones, soft ones and rigid. Comforters and quilts. Fuzzy blankets, and plain ones. Flowers, sports teams (this is starting to turn into a CAT IN THE HAT book). Anyway, my point is out of all blankets I nesstled in, the old ragedy Seseme Street one was the best. But, then one day something happened. I don't really know how or why or really even when but, my Seseme Street blanket was gone. Gone in a way that at first I thought I could find it but, soon matured enough to realize that the union between us would never materialize. The blanket was gone. So maybe I could find a new Seseme Street blanket that is identical to the old one. But that too, I realized, was a lost cause. See that Seseme Street blanket, my friends, had it's own place in my life. But, that time is over now. It will be always cherished and remembered. I will look back at all the good times I had with my blanket. The times I used it as a cape pretending to be Superman (last year). The nights I curled up in it's arms. The soft touch of a item that embraced me in times of need. And sometimes even when I didn't need it. The fact is my blanket WAS a memorable life partner. But...this weekend....I found a new blanket. A blanket that may seem similar to the last but, a blanket whose time is now, nonetheless. My new blanket. How happy am I? The answer....extremely. Love ya guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 08,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Well howdy everybody. This weekend was a good week. I got to see a lot of my friends. One especially good friend I got to see was Kris Jarvis. We sat and joked about a lot but, the most women and the fact that none of them interested us at this particular time in our lives. (First Disclaimer: This letter is not meant to be sexist) So anyway, we got this idea that now before we date anyone there should be an application to fill out. Of course the first thought I had was, 'What a great Dear Friends idea.' So here we go... ANTHHONY DORIA'S DATE APPLICATION NAME ____________ AGE ___________ (UNDER 18 NEED NOT APPLY) HAVE YOU BEEN ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED MORE THAN 3 TIMES? HAVE YOU HAD MORE THAN 5 PREGNANCY SCARES? DO YOU HAVE AN EX-BOYFRIEND WHO TREATED YOU BAD BUT, YET YOU CAN'T SEEM TO BREAK IT OFF FOR GOOD? (IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO THE LAST THREE QUESTIONS, DO NOT PROCEED, WE HAVE MADE OUR DECISION.....UH....WE'LL CALL YOU :O) DISCLAIMER #2: PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES ARE NOT IMPORTANT BUT, UNDERSTAND THAT I AM A AVERAGE BUILT, 5 FOOT 6 INCH, 160 POUND MAN. A 300 POUND, 7 FOOT TALL, AMAZON GAL IS NOT NESSECARILY WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR :O) ARE YOU ABLE TO LISTEN? ARE YOU WILLING TO GET TO KNOW ME? ARE YOU WILLING TO SHARE A FRIENDSHIP WITH ME, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE OUTCOME OF OUR DATING PROCEEDS TO? WOULD YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE ELSE, EVEN IFIT MEANT MISERY FOR YOU? WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT? FAME OR FORTUNE? DISCLAIMER #3: THE ABOVE QUESTION WAS A TRICK QUESTION. NEITHER IS IMPORTANT. REAL HAPPINESS IS MOST IMPORTANT, HOWEVER IT IS ACHEIVED. THE KEY WORD IN THIS DISCLAIMER IS 'REAL', WHICH BASICALLY RULES OUT DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE AS A SUBSTITUTE OF HAPPINESS. IT ALSO DENIES MONEY OR SUCCESS EQUALLING HAPPINESS. IF YOU THINK THAT YOU MOST SPEND YOUR LIFE WORKING MISERABLY FOR 40 YEARS TO FINALLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL AND THEN WHEN YOU HAVE ALL YOUR MONEY AND ALL YOUR MATERIAL POSSESSIONS THAT YOU WILL FINALLY BE HAPPY THINK AGAIN. REMEMBER WHEN YOU DIE, YOUR BRAND NEW 01 Z28 IS NOT COMING WITH YOU. (GEEZE THAT WAS A LONG DISCLAIMER!) ARE YOU CONFIDENT WITH YOUR LIFE? DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE? (IF NO....WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!) AND NOW WE GET TO THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION.... ARE YOU READY FOR A MATURE, FUN AND INTERESTING RELATIONSHIP? I CAN'T TELLYOU IF IT WILL LAST OR IF IT WILL WORK AT ALL BUT, I CAN PROMISE YOU THESE THINGS, I WILL ATTEMPT TO TREAT YOU AS WELL AS I AM PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABLE I WILL BE ROMANTIC, CRAZY, SERIOUS, LOVING, CARING, AND SHARING MOST OF ALL, I WILL BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS, YOUR GOALS, AND YOUR IDEAS AND ALL I ASK IN RETURN IS YOU DO THE SAME. That's it my application. I might have left a few things out but, that's what the interview is for right? So, for the few applicants out there, fill it out, get it back to me and hey we will see what we can do. Oh yah, almost forgot, one last disclaimer... Disclaimer #4: If you are Jennifer White and you just so happen to want to fill out the application.....don't bother. I will hire you on the spot! Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 07,May,2003 | Dear Friends, For all my new buds that were just added to the dear friends letter list I say welcome. I also say that this summer will never be forgotten (especially Alison's gorgeous hair). Anyway....Welcome to 'Dear Friends.' It's a wonderful little letter that I send out to all my email buddies. I talk about something weird that's brewing in my head (which should scare most of you) in hopes that you will all email me back. Usually it doesn't work which is cool but, atleast I can 'brighten your day' for a few minutes as so many have put it. So anyway......now I have to brighten your day I guess. So I guess I will tell you a joke. Um. Two Italion guys and a Cajun guy live in a small town. All three of them have a dream to be Nup-makers (Nup = the little plastic peice on the end of your shoelace) So they all decide to save up their money and move to the Nup Capitol of the World......Delaware. (I told you it was a joke) Anyway, they start off working at a Nup Warehouse mass producing (is that supposed be hyphenated?) mass-producing Nups faster than the eye can see. They made the best Nups in the World but, the problem was no one would buy them and they couldn't figure out why. The first Italion asked the second Italion (the smelly Italion), 'Why won't anyone buy our nups?' The Second Italion tried to answer but, just trailed off into a boring story that had no point (sound familiar?). The Cajun jumped in and said, 'I went to college to sell Nups it's the only thing in the world I want to do.' The first Italion tried to find out why, after following what they thought was their dream, they are so unhappy? Then it hit him.....Maybe he is making Nups for the wrong color shoelaces? I mean, until this point they have been making Nups for Yellow and Orange and Red strings. Mabye it was time for him to start making them for strings with the colors of blue or purple? 'I believe that life is a big maze and everytime you find a door that you think is the end it just means you are in a new part of the maze but, you always have to remember....there is always a way out.' The Cajun figured this out very quickly but, the Smelly Italion didn't catch on. The the three went there seperate ways. The Cajun stayed making Yellow, Orange and Red Strings. The Smelly Italion tried selling Grey strings but, no one in the world cared. Then there was the first Italion. He packed up his bags and decided to search for a company that made Blue and Purple Strings. If some of you have sorta figured out all the symbolization used in this story, let's hope that it comes true someday. If, after reading this, you want to tell me that in no way did I have a clear and conscience thought and you think everyone is now stupider just by reading it I say to you my friend..........'A simple wrong would have been alright but.....okay.' Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 07,May,2003 | Dear Friends, So it's been a while....The reason being? I have been sleeping. Lots of sleep is required when you work with kids all day in the sweltering hot sun. Confused? I will clue you in....this week I started my job as a CAMP COUNSELOR at the YMCA. Wow what a trip. I have spent about a week here at work and all I can say is 'wow, what a trip.' Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I will always love kids. I have some sort of special light inside me that turns on when ever there are children around. The amazing part about Summer Camp is how it inhibits it's own world. I feel like when I put on my Gawky Yellow Shirt and step out into the Pavelian, (wow i have no clue how to spell that one) I am in a whole new life, a whole new dimension. 13 Counselors who are the very best friends. 110 kids who each has their own story, their own problem, their own life. So many things go on at once but, when 4:30 comes around it all disapears. Everyone goes home back to their own lives, then show up the next day and start all over again. In one full day of camp I deal with: An aggressive child who likes to beat people up. A child who WILL not obey the rules even after punishment. A whole group of 12 year olds who already know how to play the game and think it's stupid. A very shy six-year-old who is very upset cause he forgot his goggles in the pool. Talkers Quiters Screamers Cryers Whiners Every childhood epidemic that you could possibly imagine is going on all at the same time and it is up to me and twelve other young adults (who are poorly underpaid) to organize and keep control of this massacre. Sounds horrible huh? I'll let you in on a little secret. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Why? Because. Because of the laughs I get from the five and sixers when I tell them the wall is falling down and I need their help to hold it up. Because of the way the 9 year olds think they are so smart when they try trick me with a scam that I tried on the Teacher when I was their age. Because of Jacob Conover's Mullet. For the game of MASH I played with Jenny Marlett. For the way Andre looked at me right before I called his number in Steal the Bacon. Because of the look on little Christopher Duran's face when I told him I would find his goggles...NO MATTER WHAT. Because those kids will all remember me for the rest of their lives just like I will remember them. Just like I will remember the counselors (my friends).....My boss Jill (The crazy lady who teaches me a lot despite what I let on). I hope it never ends....but, it is destined to....just like anything else good. Good stuff always has to end sometime or another. Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 07,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Have you ever watched that muppets episode where someone's (I don't quite remember who) voice gets stolen and put in a jar. The whole time everyone is looking for this muppets voice. That's what I feel I just went through for the last 9 months or so. Only it's a little differant than losing my voice. Last year about Aprilish, I lost my sweetness. Some evil bad-guy stole it and put it in a jar. Ever since then I have been trying to find my sweetness. I looked high and low, left and right and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find it. I even tried making up some new sweetness but, it just wasn't the same. You know? It wasn't vintage ANTHONY sweetness. So then I thought, 'I guess I will just forget about my sweetness. Maybe it is gone for ever.' But then I thought, is that what the ScareCrow, Lion and Tinman said when Dorthy was taken away by giant flying monkeys? NOOO. They looked into the face of evil, climbed the mountain and saved their little buddy who helped them find Courage....and....Heart....and a Brain. What that has to do with me finding my sweetness...I don't really know. (It's not everyday you get to use a 'Wizzard of Oz' analogy) But, I do know this. Last night, I was walking down a road. Minding my own business and I suddenly tripped. After I picked myself up and dusted myself off, I looked down to discover what obstructed my walking. There, in a little Dill Pickle jar........sat my sweetness. I picked it up and opened the jar. Despite the smell of pickles, my sweetness returned to me in an ever-so-delightful way. I tell you what......I've Missed it. Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 06,May,2003 | Dear Friends....that are girls, Alright this is kinda a special Dear Friends letter for all the women out there. But, don't get discouraged guys. This letter is also for you too. Hopefully I will make it simple enough for you to understand because God knows Men are not the most intellectual people in the world when it comes to the opposite sex. Right girls? Anyway. I wanted to tell you guys and gals a story (as I usually do). It is a story about a little old lady named Bess. Bess is 82 years old and homeless (I promise this isn't a sad story, just bare with me). Anyway, Everyone of you today spent time in your lives around Bess. Maybe you passed her on the way to school. Maybe on your way to work. Or maybe on your way to your date with that special someone. You might have laughed at her. You might have ignored her. You might have just not even noticed her. You might have given her change. Heck, you might have even helped her up off the street and spent the day with her. But, see.....this story isn't about helping someone in need. Although that would be a great lesson to be taught it is not the particualar lesson I am attempting to get across. As I said, this is a special email for women....and for guys to figure something out. See, Bess didn't make a couple of good decisions. She made a few mistakes in her life which led her to her current situation and surrondings (a fridgerater box and a half eaten Ho-Ho)(I just said 'Ho-Ho'). Bess was probably a drunk or addicted to drugs. Or maybe she was stubborn and refused help from her parents or others that cared about her. Maybe she doesn't posses an adequate amount of willpower to handle the crap that has been flung at her. Maybe she had no one there to offer an umbrella. But, again. This is not a story about help the less fortunate. I only reiterate this point excessively because I want all of you to look beyond the commoness of a 'guilt you into being good' story. I want you to look beyond the made for t.v. Sunday Night movie. I want you to look beyond the tool that people use to deceivingly aquire self-righteousness by publically becoming a good Samaritan. As you walk by Bess....and she looks up at you with those tired withered brown eyes. I want you to realize that Bess is special...simply......because she is a woman. That's it. Not because she accomplished some amazing feat. Not because she devised a plan to change the world (I just saw 'Pay it Forward'). No it's simple....she is special......because she is a woman. And so are all of you. Each one of you have been special to me in my life at some point. And I thank you for it. I thank you by saying.....'Happy Valentine's Day'. So guys.....if you haven't figured it out by now.....just give up and get her some candy.... I love you guys....and gals oh....and Happy Valentine's Day Bess Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 06,May,2003 | Dear Friends, So I am working at the YMCA in O'Fallon now. It's pretty fun, so far in my 'training' I have worked out, been stuck in a room with 12 hot women, played various tough games like kickball and steal the bacon and been fed Subway, doughnuts and bagels. I have to say, sarcastically I might add, I have my work cut out for me in the summer. (sorry to all of you that have sucky jobs) Anyway, the worst (there is a worst part I promise) part about this job is the training you have to endure before hand because of one simple reason......it's just like school. See for me school was made up of this formula: 5% of teachers that have a legitimate passion for their work 10% of teachers that don't nessecarily have it all down, but they get the job done 85% of teachers that don't have any idea of what the hell they are doing Of course those 85%, also are the same teachers that think they are the best teachers in the world. I had a teacher once, for 2 months straight that gave us a book of english questions and answers. Everyday she would tell us to read the questions, answer them and then check ourselves. After she read the directions, she would leave for the length of the class hour? When I decided to bring this to her attention, she told me she was an excellent teacher??????? What I wanted to tell her was, 'See the main word in 'teacher' is teach. Which is the verb that you should be expressing when you inhibit the name 'teacher.' And since you have to be physically present to actually teach someone...I disagree with your last remark.' The only thing she taught me that year was one lesson: When you have work to do, find something to do it for you and then leave! Great 'Teaching.' (that was sarcastic again) This whole world has gone to crap because the real meaning behind our life goals have been lost. To be a teacher: To shape and prepare the mind of a child before he/she is thrown out into the real world. Teachers have to understand that No class, No book, No lecture, No internet newsletter can show you step by step on how to teach a child. They can give you a good idea but, the only way you are gonna know how to teach little jimmy is to involve yourself into his life and when your time of teaching is over hope and pray that you made a differance in his life. Implanted a memory in his head that he will never forget. Lesson plans are guides NOT unbendable rules and regulations......! Breath in Breath out Breath in Breath out Wow, I just read what I wrote and realized why I had my own special desk in detention. I can get a little awnery ( Anyway, So camp is cool, Lot of hot women, Subway, Kickball... Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 06,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Video Games are funny. Nothing else on this earth requires this much thinking, problem-solving, memorization and plain ole intellegence and, for that matter, recieves it without any resistance whatsoever. Would you like an example? Gladly. I took Calculus in High School and although I don't really remember how to turn a Derivitive into a Intergral I can still to this day remember the code to get 30 lives in the NES version of Contra... Say it with me boys 'Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, B, A, Start' How is it that I can recall the most trivial things such as How to defeat Bald Bull in Mike Tyson's Punch Out but, must study day and night to remember how to conjugate spanish verbs? It's a travesty (new word, hope I spelled it right). But, this is not a reflection of the reason why I wrote this 'dear friends'. Other than the video game connection. See I was playing my Favorite game of all time, 'Metal Gear'. One of the many story lines in the game is Solid Snake (the main character) is injected with a drug called 'Fox Die'. After completing the game you come to learn that the only cure for this drug is to, 'Live, Snake. Live.' This concept really didn't become completely clear until about a year later. See Snake, has goals, dreams, a purpose on this world (yes I know he is just a video game character...bare with me). Fox Die is created in a way that it lives in your blood cells and goes into a effect the minute you cease your purpose on earth. The Effect being a massive heart-attack and death. But, the cool thing about it is, as long as you continue to go after your dreams, your aspirations, your hopes, your goals......you continue to live. It is only when your life is over that you shall die. hmmm? It's only when your life is over, that you shall die. Sounds like something you would read out of a cookie in China town and add the words, '...In Bed' to. (take your time) Anyway. So what's the running theme of this weeks Dear Friends letter? I have no idea. But, I do know this. In Super Mario Brothers, you can warp to level 4 if you hop up on the ceiling and go past the pipe. :o) Love you guys Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 06,May,2003 | Dear Friends So me and my friends Roy are talking one day and I made the remark, 'Well, I'm not getting any younger!' We giggled a bit, and then Roy stopped and stared off into a distance. Now most of you who know Roy understand that Roy just had a thought. A thought that is gonna require a good amount of discussion. So Roy turns to me and says, 'That would be weird to 'Get Younger.' I smile because I know that he is going somewhere with this. He says, 'One day, your voice starts cracking. You start loosing hair on your face. You start to shrink. You stop thinking about your career, your life and start thinking about more important things like the new G I Joe's coming out and you even start to wonder if this mysterious 'Santa' fellow is even real. And if he isn't, who is eating them cookies you left out over night? Then, suddenly, this horrible disease breaks out all over. Everyone is talking about it. It seems to be spreading from one person to the next like wildfire. The disease's name........the cooties. Then pretty soon you forget how to stand and walk, then you forget how to talk. You try to tell someone that you just urinated in your pants but, all that comes out is jibberish. Then finally you find some guy you don't know pushing you into this cave. The only thing is...the cave opening is way smaller than you but, he seems to not even care...' Wow. Roy can be pretty cool sometimes.... Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 06,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Well, Well, Well. I know what you are all thinking. Anthony's back. I am writing you to let you know that it is true. I am a little more mature now. I am a little more experienced. Yet more importantly I am a little more creative and I have a whole lot more boggled up in my head. So as I have said in the past, I am gonna empty out this noggin on you and hopefully you enjoy the wonderful and crazy yet in-debth thoughts of Anthony J Doria. So I caught myself today. Actually I thought about catching myself and thanks to a good friend I was able to confirm the catching of myself. (yah, I know :o) See I was playing hide and go seek. I went and hid from myself and then I started counting to a hundered. This is a fun game to play with yourself everyonce in a while. I think it is anyway. Sometimes it is good to get away from yourself for a couple seconds (maybe a hundered or so). There are just somethings to remember when you do. See when you are hiding from yourself, in a sence, you have actually lost yourself. It is alright to lose yourself in certain things. Dreams, Love, Career, School, Family, Work. We all lose ourselves in these things from time to time. We just cover our eyes, start counting and then go run and hide. I am guilty myself of hiding in my work. (Notice I said 'work' and not 'Career', very important) Now, what I realized while hiding out is the other thing you have to remember when playing hide and go seek with yourself. You have to remember... after one hundered, you have to open your eyes and go find yourself. I didn't do that. When I got to one hundered I just keep counting. 200. 500. Pretty soon it was seven months of counting. My mouth was getting dry. More importantly I couldn't find myself anywhere. I looked in my work. No Anthony. I looked in my love. Nada. I even looked in my dream. Nothing. I had run away from myself. And if you are following at all you are probably wondering why (or what I have been smoking.) I will tell you why. I was dissapointed in myself. Why was I dissapointed? Because I had neglected myself. I had neglected what makes me happy. The best part about playing hide and go seek with yourself is the finding. Because it makes you (the finder) feel good about keeping yourself on the right path. But more importantly it also makes you (the findee) feel good because you are not letting you sway off the path. The path of happiness. The path that you know if you follow will always bring the doors that supply the entrances and exits to accomplishing your dreams. So I say to all of you friends, if you started a game of hide and go seek with yourself..... Call Ali Oxen Free. You are probably worried that you aren't coming to find you. Love you guys, Anthony J Doria 'This a new way of doing the Dear Friends for everyone. In Addition to this I will supply all your old favorite 'Dear Friends' over the next couple of days. Thanks guys love ya.' |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 17,May,2003 | Dear Friends, I have kind of a weird question. I know everyone is gonna look at this email with a raised eyebrow but, it was a question that came up at work and I thought I would share it with all of you. Did George Washington smoke marijuana? I may not be sure on this but, I don't think it was illegal back then? I am almost positive the indians did. They smoked pretty much anything that grew out of the ground. But, let's think about it no one really deemed it as wrong in that time so who knows who was smoking pot back then. The lunchroom discussion over this question transformed into a debate soon after. We as a group (when I say group I mean a warehouse full of people that look like the cast members to Fragal Rock) discussed what thoughts exactly lead to the forbidance of marijuana. I, not knowing if I was right whatsoever, said that maybe it was because marijuana....as harmless physically as it is.....can and will control the life of someone who is too weak to control their own. We agreed that that be a good reason but, then we took it furthermore as I do in this letter. Think about how many things can control our lives if we aren't weak enough to handle it. Now go one more and imagine if these things were illegal. Could you imagine being arrested for being overweight? How about being charged with the possesion and intent to distribute chocolate? Let's face it there are a million things in this world...legal and illegal...that can take your life away from you without you even knowing it. It's at times like this when I like to think about my life and ask the question, 'Am I in the driver seat?' 'Or, am I just along for the ride?' Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 15,May,2003 | Dear Friends, You know what? (I hear the voice of 33 differant people responding with a roll of the eyes...'What') Certain situations in life are weird. There are so many differant people out there that I meet a day share one brief moment with and then never speak to again. I find myself in one of those moments right now. I sit at a computer...at the public library directly across from a girl about my age. She has dark hair, brown eyes and perfect teeth. The reason I know this is because as I sat down we exchanged a smile. But, that is where it will end. In a few minutes I will get up and leave. Or maybe she will finish her work and leave first. Who ever ends this split second that we sit and dwell upon each other...with what ever attitude we have towards one or another....chances are we will never see each other again. Our paths will never cross. I sit in my chair wondering her age as she sits probably dreaming up a lifestyle that more than likely doesn't resemble mine in any way shape or form. Somewhere between a minute and three, both aching with the suspence of having to know if the other is interested we both look up again and simaltaniously catch each other stealing one more glance. One more glance of the girl/guy that we will never know if any type of advancement would come. Whether I have a girlfriend or she is married we still find ourselves in this brief moment. Far from justification and rules. The brief moment that our mind argues over questions like, 'Should I say something?' and 'I wonder if she likes hockey?' But as I said...it's a BRIEF moment. You come. You sit. You gawk. Then you leave. That is the way the game is played. It happens 1000 times a day. Each one of those moments I let pass in and out of my life like they are Flintstone Vitamins. But, today. Today I had a new thought. A thought that might be viewed upon as somewhat irrational. But, hey. I am an irrational guy. Love you guys, Anthony Doria P.S. Her name is Ashley. |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 15,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Ok. I have to vent my frustrations for a minute (no suprise). I went to Burger King for lunch today and was flabbergasted (I have always wanted to use that word). There in front of my was a sign that said, 'Cheese flavored fries...25 cents.' I said to myself, 'Self....Burger King has just come up with the greatest idea in Fast Food history.' So I ordered some 'Cheese' fries and upon recieving my food...to my dismay...I was given regular fries, something that resembled a Macaroni and Cheese packet and a paper bag. At first I thought it was a childish prank until I read the directions on the bag. Cheese Flavored Fries. If you are guessing that they didn't quite taste fanatical you are probably not the weakest link (that was cheesy...more cheesy than those fries though). So since I was a itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow poka-dot ba-PISSED OFF...I decided to write Burger King a little memo. Dear Burger King, I noticed that you guys are getting a little desperate. Being an ex-Burger King employee I understand the all-encompassing 'McShadow' that has plagued your existence. But, it is no reason to go off the deep end. Chicken Whopper? Now isn't this so called 'Chicken Whopper' really just a BK Broiler with a few more McToppings? Come on guys....your starting to McBuckle under the pressure. Don't think that by passing off a few unoriginal ideas that you can joop us into dropping an obscene amount of money on food that doesn't even taste McGood. My way right away is to go back to doing the things you do good. And you can King Size that. Sincerely, Anthony Doria Ah. Now I feel McBetter. :o) Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 15,May,2003 | Dear Friends, So there's this dog named Max. I am not gonna really go into the details of Max's life because well they aren't important. (And also I wouldn't want to say something that is not true and stir up controversy. You all know Max. You all have your own oppinions of Max) So anyway, Max is walking along the road one day and he meats a Rat named Fred. Fred needed some food and asked Max if he would give him some. Although Max only had a limited supply Max agreed because Fred said he would pay him back in a week. One week later Fred fled the city with out paying Max back the food. So Max strived on. He kept smiling and kept walking...as Max does. One day Max went to go get some more food from his food dish and it was gone. Max found out that his friend Laura the elephant had taken it and wouldn't give if back. Max, foodless, smiled and kept on walking...as Max does. Trying to scrounge up some food from the streets Max stumbles upon another dog. This older dog named Sam, promised Max some food at the end of the week. So Max waited patiently for some food but, at the end of the week he was left with nothing. At this point, everyone in neighborhood didn't like Max anymore. They all thought he was a mangy (sp?) old street dog that nobody should care about because all he did was complain about them. But, that's not how it was at all. See, over the years Max was given food by many differant humans...all of which he greatly appreciated. The only people he was upset with was Fred the Rat....Laura the Elephant and of course Sam the older Dog. But, at this point in Max's life...it didn't matter. Everyone had excommunicated him out of there lifes because of some sort of preconceived notion that he hated them first. Well, Max is hungry now. And lonely out there on the streets. But, I received a letter from him just a few days ago (written in dog-language of course)(yah...I can read dog....can't everyone?) The note said said: Dear everyone, I just wanted to let the following people know that I forgive them for wrongs they may or may not have consciously or unconsciously bestowed upon me. Fred the Rat Laura the Elephant Sam the Older Dog And furthermore, I wish everyone that was and still continues to be a friend to me the best in there lives because they have all made me feel special in a way. As for me. In light of my new circumstances. I am gonna do the only thing I know how to do....keep smiling and keep walking.....as Max does. I love you all Woof |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 14,May,2003 | Dear Friends, I have this knack for 'creating' holidays (May 17th is national 'Come Out of the Closet' Day. It was a day designed for...you know who...to join hands and celebrate and stuff. Our luck it would end up like a elephant line or something. I will give you a minute on that one) Anyway Today February 18th will now be a new Holiday. It's called the 'I'm Still Alive' day. See most of you don't know but, 'Dear Friends' was started because one day I was bored and I wasn't receiving emails from anyone. I sent them but, they didn't return them. So I figured if I started writing cool little columns about retarded thoughts (God Knows I have a bunch) maybe I would get a few replies. You all know how well that worked...heh heh.....So in the past couple of weeks everyone has been...how you would say...caught up in their positively perfect lives. Not that that is bad....I just miss you all. So Today has now been ordained as 'I am still Alive' Day. Today it is your job to email me and anyone else you haven't talked to in a while (Friends, Family, Babies Mom)(That was a really bad joke). You don't have to say much. Just send an email entitled....'I'm Still Alive' and I will be more than happy with it. Until next time Friends.... And Happy 'I'm Still Alive' Day Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 14,May,2003 | Dear Friends, So. Where ya been? Huh? You think you can just dissapear for a while and then suddenly show up when you feel like it? Do you know what you put us through? We are staying up late. Wondering if you are laying in a sewer ditch. You know there are people that care about you, the least you can do is update them. We are not asking for a long drawn out letter. We are just asking you to drop a note once in a while. After all, we enjoy your company. When you do something like this we feel like you don't want to be around us? I hope that is not how you feel. That is the way we feel? We feel like you just gave up on us. Well, if you didn't then good. But, if you did give up....if you truely gave up just remember.....we DID NOT give up on you. We never will. No matter what you do. We still care about you. We miss you. You don't realize how much you mean to us. I know we might not show it all the time but, you get older and lives slowly move in differant directions. But, trust us when we say....we still think of you from time to time. Wondering if your dreams are coming true because we know you are too stubborn to let them go. That is not a bad thing. Sometimes we wish we could think like you. You don't know what you mean to us. You really don't. I hope someday you realize how important you really are in our lives. But, enough chastizing. We forgive you...just send us a letter everyonce in a while. Or give us a ring. you know? Alright? Ok, well you take care now and we hope to see you soon. We love you. *With all your permission I would like to send that letter from all of you....to all of me. :o)* Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 14,May,2003 | Dear Friends, There is this guys. Let's call him Josh. (No not that Josh....what's funny is, that phrase pertains to atleast five of you). Anyway, this Josh is special (I told you it wasn't your Josh). He is one of those people that when he dies people will talk about him. They will learn valued tools of life by studying his actions. His triumphts. His tribulations. See Josh looked at the world in a very differant way. Differant than anyone else that he lived with. For that, (as usual) he got crapped on for looking this way. Everyone said stuff like, 'What is this guy's deal? Why is he not following the rules. Why is he being a rebel? Why does he do those things?' 'Those Things' were simple. Love, friendship, encouragement, confidence. He was the guy that was proud of you when you succeeded and helped you cry when you failed. He listened to everyone's problems. He just sat and listened. Josh's friends would go on and on and on about every life-struggle and Josh humbly opened his ear and smiled. He offered so much to make others happy. Some say he offered too much sometimes. See Josh had a dream. The dream was simple. His dream was to 'Never Stop Dreaming.' Everyday he let his thoughts float to the world that would be....as long as he never stopped hoping that it would come true. Despite popular belief, Josh knew his dream would become reality because it takes a child to dream...but it takes a man to chase that dream. Just as Josh became a man...he never stopped chasing. He never let go of his dream. All his elders dissapointedly looked down on him. They mischieviously decieved him. He turned to his friends only to find no help. So much help he had given out...yet he got none in return. Then everyone turned on him. They chastised him for being so 'silly' and 'immature' for choosing to chase his dream. To continue to think for himself and do what he felt he had been created to do. They all said, 'It can't be done. Turn back now and come to your senses.' But then, He did it. He created his dream. He became his destiny. In one moment he turned from Josh, the ignorant youth, to Josh, the pioneer. Suddenly belief structures are being constructed diriving from his thoughts and ideas. People are blessing him instead of mocking him. Everyone wants to help him now but, more importantly everyone wants more of him. But, that's not how it should be. See the point of this letter is....Out of all the important crap that plagues our minds each day....we always remember those 'pioneers' that helped us get here. But, what we should realize is that as bad as we think our lives suck.....Jesus...er...I mean...Josh's life probably sucked worse. Why...because he went through the same stuff we did. The lonliness...the saddness...the depression...the dissapointment....Everything. The part that sucks though is....he had to deal with it all on his own. No one thought that he might be hurting behind that helpful smile. I think this is a good time to find that person that is always there for you. To cry on, to make you laugh, to help you out, to save your butt or simply to Forgive you when you both know he/she shouldn't have. Find that person for me and tell them....'Thanks Josh' Love you guys, Antny |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 13,May,2003 | Dear Friends, (Note: Regarding the last letter...Jennifer White has now become my new crush for the simple fact that she actually sent an email back voting. Hopefully this proves two points...Point 1: Jennifer White is NOT a snobby famous person....and #B I GOT A CHANCE!!!) Memorial Day. A day to reflect on those who lost their lives fighting for this country. Bet you didn't know that. I sure didn't. Nope. It took me a whole day of bordem to figure out why the hell everything was closed and no one was out in town today. It was only when I finally came to my conclusion that I decided that I would take you on a brain-storming trip through my my own warped little mind. I first decided to search the community for hopes of a sign or a revelation on why this day was celebrated. It wasn't for people who work hard for a living-that's Labor Day (Although as all you teenagers know Labor Day just means you have to pull a double shift at the burger joint) Then I thought well it's for War Veterens? No Dice Cheeno that's Veteren's Day. So I thought what is a Memorial? Like the Washington Monument? Mount Rushmore? Statue of Liberty? These are Memorials. We are taking the day off to celebrate these? I mean not only are we braking a commandment by worshiping a man-made idol but, more importantly, most of our Memorials were built by French Guys! So I can't get my mail today because I have to celebrate a Gigantic Statue of a French Guy's Mother? I knew this couldn't be the case because in essence the closest French people are Canadians and wouldn't they just be laughing their...um...uh..'boots' off if we didn't work today for them. So I looked for a differant answer. Maybe Memorial Day was like one of those Holidays that doesn't actually mean anything.....like Columbus Day. It was Chris Rock that said, 'Nobody celebrates Columbus Day. No puts, like, Three ships in their yard.' Very true and yet we hold a special day out of the year for a man who discovered the West Indies? The West Indies? What happened to good ole Americo Vespuci? Why didn't he get a day? Was his last name to hard to pronounce or something? I don't think that was the case. No, I think when the idea of a Holiday first came up a long time ago they were just aching for reasons to have one. I'm serious. I also think if we just discovered the idea of creating a National holiday this year...America would have some interesting holidays. We would have days like....Beenie Baby Day....Superbowl Day....The Baldwins Birthday would be like another Chanauka. We would also have more race-related days but, everyone would wanna get in on the action. Dominican Republicans Day. Greenlanders Day (they are always forgotten about). Uraguay Day (You get five points if you send back a Simpson's quote using Uraquay :o). Then there would have to be an Old People Day for some Psycho Reason. Like they don't get enough already. We continue to let them drive even though they are blind, can't eat solid foods and randomly relieve themselves without noticing. If some of them hadn't died for this coun......Hey! (And that's when it hit me) People died for this country. People died so that I could sit in my house all day ranting and raving about how stupid a holiday created for them is. Boy I feel like an ass. Love you guys Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 13,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Hello everybody. First of before I get started today I would just like to thank Joe....biil..um Billing..ton....yah...Joe Billington for winning the Scavenger Hunt. (here is a hint: There is no Joe Billington. Aparrently Nobody likes me anymore :o) Joe did an excellant job in capturing every item except for the date with Kerri Maxwell which consequently brings me to the subject of this letter. I have come to a stump. A wall. A decided point if you will. For the last 6 and a half years I have been madly in love with Kerri Maxwell. I tried desperately to get a date with her over the course of this time but failed miserably every attempt. This has become somewhat of a little (little?) joke that runs through my life but the day has come to decide whether this joke will continue on or be buried. I, Anthony Doria, have developed a new Crush. The Person? Jennifer White, the d.j. of 105.7 the point. Now what can one do? Both women are hot, smart, hot, funny, hot, and most important both women will probably NEVER go out with me. But, which do I chose? I could have both but, then I quote Ross from friends when he says, 'BOTH! I can't have two cats! Joey is the kinda guy that can have two cats.' So I have decided to leave it up to my friends. Who will be my new Crush from this day forward. Kerri Maxwell? Or Jennifer White? Send me your answer (hopefully this one is not to complicated) Love you guys, Antny |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 13,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Memorial Day. A day to reflect on those who lost their lives fighting for this country. Bet you didn't know that. I sure didn't. Nope. It took me a whole day of bordem to figure out why the hell everything was closed and no one was out in town today. It was only when I finally came to my conclusion that I decided that I would take you on a brain-storming trip through my my own warped little mind. I first decided to search the community for hopes of a sign or a revelation on why this day was celebrated. It wasn't for people who work hard for a living-that's Labor Day (Although as all you teenagers know Labor Day just means you have to pull a double shift at the burger joint) Then I thought well it's for War Veterens? No Dice Cheeno that's Veteren's Day. So I thought what is a Memorial? Like the Washington Monument? Mount Rushmore? Statue of Liberty? These are Memorials. We are taking the day off to celebrate these? I mean not only are we braking a commandment by worshiping a man-made idol but, more importantly, most of our Memorials were built by French Guys! So I can't get my mail today because I have to celebrate a Gigantic Statue of a French Guy's Mother? I knew this couldn't be the case because in essence the closest French people are Canadians and wouldn't they just be laughing their...um...uh..'boots' off if we didn't work today for them. So I looked for a differant answer. Maybe Memorial Day was like one of those Holidays that doesn't actually mean anything.....like Columbus Day. It was Chris Rock that said, 'Nobody celebrates Columbus Day. No puts, like, Three ships in their yard.' Very true and yet we hold a special day out of the year for a man who discovered the West Indies? The West Indies? What happened to good ole Americo Vespuci? Why didn't he get a day? Was his last name to hard to pronounce or something? I don't think that was the case. No, I think when the idea of a Holiday first came up a long time ago they were just aching for reasons to have one. I'm serious. I also think if we just discovered the idea of creating a National holiday this year...America would have some interesting holidays. We would have days like....Beenie Baby Day....Superbowl Day....The Baldwins Birthday would be like another Chanauka. We would also have more race-related days but, everyone would wanna get in on the action. Dominican Republicans Day. Greenlanders Day (they are always forgotten about). Uraguay Day (You get five points if you send back a Simpson's quote using Uraquay :o). Then there would have to be an Old People Day for some Psycho Reason. Like they don't get enough already. We continue to let them drive even though they are blind, can't eat solid foods and randomly relieve themselves without noticing. If some of them hadn't died for this coun......Hey! (And that's when it hit me) People died for this country. People died so that I could sit in my house all day ranting and raving about how stupid a holiday created for them is. Boy I feel like an ass. Love you guys, Anthony Doria Love you guys |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 12,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Hey Everyone. It's time once again for another Dear Friends. Just for the record by the way....the last dear friends, where I wrote about my problem with Scrappy, the Phone and my crayons? Well, it kinda has been taken care of. See Scrappy ran away before I could get home to see him. I guess I just can't take care of my pets huh? Anyways, let's move on. Life is a very strange thing. Well, for me it is anyway. See for a good 18 years of my life I lived to find one thing.....a girl. I figured if I found that everything else would just fall into place. But, I realized that's not true. I hit a huge wall in my life and it's the best wall I ever hit because it taught me to take control of my life and make my own decisions so I could be happy. It also taught me that the desires of my heart might not come exactly when I yearn for them or in the way I yearn for them. I just lost....again.....something I have yearned for ever since it became a possiblity for me. But, I spent a the last day thinking. Maybe it's just not time for it. Or maybe it's not even the best for me. My life has a certain path that will make me happy and complete, it's just up to me to keep myself on it. And it's up to me to realize what supplies I need during which spot I am at on my path. (If that didn't make sense forgive me It's 5:59am and I haven't gone to bed yet) Anyway, the point I probably am not even close to is, We humans are filled with desires that plague our minds and hearts through our whole life but, I think we should realize that though we may feel we need something just because we don't physically don't possess it doesn't mean it's not there and sometimes not having something (or someone) is best for us at certain times. Of course this theory isn't proven true when it comes to Kerri Maxwell (my high school crush) who after four long years I still didn't get a darn date with...:o) But, who knows maybe that was for the best too. Or maybe I don't know what the heck I am talking about because I just stayed up all night watching American History X for the first time (Excellent Movie by the way). In any case.....As my feelings, thoughts and emotions are jumbled inside my head I sit and try to clarify....relaxing with my guitar and playing Dave Mathews' #41. (Wow, I went deep with this one friends so If you think I am a crazy psycho send me back an email saying so....on the other hand if you can relate in some way with my feelings send me a message with this simple sentence and nothing else....'I know how you feel, man!') Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 12,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Why am I from Pluto? The more and more people I meet on this planet the more and more people I realize I don't resemble. So where are the people like me? Where are the people that talk like me, think like me, act like me, are as short as me? Where are the guys that feel it is wrong to cheat on a women who you are committed to? Where are the people that would give up their coat to someone who is shivering regardless of what they looked like on the outside? Where are the people who don't have to have money to be happy. For that matter, where are those people who are happy when they give their money away? Where are the people that don't have to be seen or heard to feel famous? Where are the humble people? Where are the 21 year old Video Game Players? Where are the dreamers? Where are the people that try and accomplish it even though everyone said 'It can't be done!' Where are the people that don't care if your too fat? Too skinny? Too Short? Too Tall? Where are the people that will walk across the hall to pick up that peice of trash even though they don't have too. Where are the real people? Where did all the fakes come from? Where are the people who listen without speaking? Where are the lovers. The Caring? The Understanding. Where are the people who will believe in you? Support you? Where are all the fighters? Where are the people who will stand up against all odds? Where are the people who won't sit down at the first sight of confrontation? Where are the people who think about you even though it by doing so won't better their lives as much as it would yours. Where is the creativity? Where is the 'I taught myself?' Where is the 'I don't care what other people think?' Where is the....? Where are the......? Where? Where did YOU go. Cause us Pluto-ians miss ya.... Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 12,May,2003 | Dear Friends, I lost a contact during Hockey Practice Thursday. Two days later I lost the other one. The problem with this is I was with out a ready back-up supply. Anyway, the point I am slowly developing to is this...I couldn't see anything. Especially, in Walmart. I thought to my self in my blind haze, 'If a good-looking girl walks by...I won't notice.' That's when I went into a day dream. In this day dream, there was this world, so differant from ours. I nicknamed it Bizarro World because everything seemed to be backwards. Short, scrawny high-pitched boys were the popular type as well as overweight women. The reason for this was because society didn't make rash decisions, using physical attractions as their only basis. Men and Women both thought brain first, body second. I know all the men out there don't believe this world exists or they atleast couldn't live in it but, you would be amazed at how well everything worked out. The absence of lust and envy was apparent as people actually had meaningfull conversations with each other and got to know one another. My hallucination of the Perfect World was disrupted when I realized I was staring at the same spot on the wall for atleast 15 minutes and 7-9 of those minutes my friends were making fun of me. I continued on with my day but, couldn't help to wonder if the world will ever come close to Bizarro world. What do you guysthink? Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 11,May,2003 | Dear Friends, In this latest letter, I am gonna get a bit serious. I know for some of you it is hard to believe that I can become serious but, there have been occasions. Anyway, I am gonna talk about an eye-opener that I recently had and hope that or those of you that aren't associated with what I am about to tell you, will be suprised as well. When I went to highschool there were many certantities. Always expect the princepal to wear his Mickey Mouse outfit the first day of school. Never assume that the taller, very good-looking girl is fanatically in love with you and not her football player boyfriend (I guess that one just relates to me) But, the most important rule in High School was, 'When in Doubt, all Band People are Dorks!' Now band and ex-band members, don't chastise me yet. I have learned the error of my ways. But, I have to admit if you had an instrument you were geeky. I believed this tragedy up until my senior year. At that time I had become friends with most of the Band Members and realized they were not non-social as I put them out to be. But, still the Band. Something just did not sit with me. The stories that I had been told and situations I had witnessed had proved to me that Band was nothing for me to get mixed up in. Then it happened. A couple of my bestfriends talked me into going to a Band marching contest. I went expecting the worst and was introduced to one of my biggest life regrets. See, it wasn't that they played music, or had to wear the goofy costumes and attire. It was the togetherness that each and every band member shared. It was that touch of magic that made graduated band members come back home and jump at the chance to go on just one more 'Band trip.' It was the love that was shown by each band member as they sat in silence together waiting for the label they had worked so hard to achieve. Excellence. I, in my life, had never experienced what each teenager experienced that day. Along with the Major 'Foot in my mouth' feeling it caused an epiphany of my own to draw up. I'll never forget it. So to all you who deliver harsh words upon those who carry instruments, I beg you not. To all those who carry or have carried those instruments, I hope you accept my deepest apologies. Love you guys, Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 11,May,2003 | Dear Friends, There is a mystery afoot ('it's not my feet, I just washed them')(small Mel brooks joke)(very small). Anyways, This mystery spans accross six states. Each of you is a suspect. No one will be able to leave this email until the truth comes out. That's right you are all stuck here. (unless of course you just deleted this message.......gee....I didn't think about that) So what is the crime? Simple. You love me. See my body and brain is like a motor vehicle. It needs fuel and regular check-ups to run properly. This 'fuel' is made up of many differant ingrediants but, the basis of the formula is love. Now when I say love, it's a certain kind of love. Let's take a moment to go through all the 'love's shall we: Possesion love--'I love my new CD' Puppy Dog love--the best example of this love is in ninth grade when I wrote 'I love Kerri' all over the school bus seat.......did I just admit that.....? High School love--'C'mon baby' 'No' 'But, I LOVE you?' Zach n Kelly love--also known as 'Saved by the Bell' love. This is the love where you meet a girl in High school and compete with a successful wrestler to win her heart. You do only to lose her when you go to college but, then you catch up with her again and have a one-hour long Marriage episode.......Then she poses for playboy. And finally, Friendship love. This love is the best kind because if your CD breaks...it's still there. If you don't have sex....it's still there....if your girlfriend moves to 90210 it's still there. And most importantly if you try to get a date for six years straight only to fail miserably.....survey says? So back to the mystery. It seems one of you love me. I am not gonna name any names...but, the culprit apparently thought of me recently. Whether it was a hockey game, Dave Mathews song, Adam Sandler movie, or if you are Jennifer White and you want to know who the crazy kid is that keeps sending you emails.....one of you thought of me at some point here in the past couple of days. Now it may be more than just one of you. I would be suprised if we have a conspiracy going on here. But, if the person or persons responsible wants to fess up now....I won't go TOO hard on ya. I will just leave you with one thing......With the actions you have taken.......you have my day....'Positively Perfect' Thank You. I love you guys. (love as in Friendship Love) :o) Anthony Doria |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 11,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Have you ever been in a postition where everything you want is miles and miles away from each other. Let's say you want: A Sports Illustrated Football Phone A Dog Named Scrappy And Your Favorite Box of 1001 Crayola Crayons The problem is, you don't have enough money for the Phone, and you have to leave the dog at home so you can go find the crayons. I know that doesn't make any sense to you guys (and girls) but, you have to let me finish. See, I came into a point in my life almost about 2 years ago when I decided to start thinking for myself and making myself happy. Ever Since that time-period I started discovering things in life that I needed to acheive this before-mentioned happiness. But, now I have come to the horrific Fork in the Road. Scrappy is sitting at home missing me but, I can go home to see him until I find my Darn Crayola Crayons! What is Scrappy desides he doesn't want me anymore? Do I give up on the Crayons to win Scrappy back? How could I give up the Crayons! Of Course if I had the Sports Illustrated Phone I could Call Scrappy but, #1 I can't afford it and #2 Scrappy is a Dog and I am starting to sound like a lunatic. To wrap things up friends...I am depressed and confused and all I want is my Phone, Crayons, and my little Doggie... If anyone could give me any advice or report me to an insane assylum...please do. Love you guys, Anthony |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 11,May,2003 | Dear Friends... Well, alot has happened in the past couple of weeks and I assume you are all wondering why I am not running my mouth about it. Well, the truth is....I couldn't get to a computer. So here is what I say.... 1) I have a hurt in my heart for the thousands that lost their life last week. 2) I have a bigger hurt in my heart for all the people that lost their life trying to save the lives of others. 3) For those responsible, I have one thing to say. It's something that was said to me this pass year when my ex-girlfriend and I decided to move in together. We took a trip back to her house to pick up her stuff and so I could have a 'Heart to Heart' with her father. (Trust me, I brought six pairs of underwear in fear that I would soil the other five) Her Father said a lot of things that day. Some were very well-thought out, while others didn't really make too much sense. But, one thing stuck out in my mind and I will forever remember (probably use on my daughter's boyfriend) He looked at me with great seriousness and said, 'If you hurt her, the world is not big enough for you to hide from me. I WILL find you.' So to conclude. For the responsible, you laugh now....but, you should know. The world is not big enough for you to hide. We WILL find you. Love you all... Antny P.S. Lisa is great for letting me use her computer. :o) |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 11,May,2003 | Dear Friends, I am not a usual guy. I have never cheated on a girlfriend. Ever. I know that some of you might find that hard to believe but, past girlfriends who receive this letter will vouch for me. I am mr. Commitment. I guess it's because for the longest time I have always wanted someone. I have always wanted to share my life with that certain someone. That has in fact scared EVERY girl that I have been involved with off (again past girlfriends....you agree right?) Anyway, the point that I am getting to (cause there is always a point) is Today, I didn't want a girlfriend. I didn't want to be committed. I didn't want that certain someone. I have come to a point in my life where I uncertain of who to share my life with as a partner. I listened to a Dave Mathew's Song today called, 'Say Goodbye.' It is an awesome song about Experiencing love with your friend for just one night and then the next day go back to being friends. For the first time in my life I want that. I want to be free. I want to be able to rise above the normal game of 'Find-a-GF and see how long you can keep her' and come onto a new playing feild. My life shouldn't revolve around a person. A girl. No offense to any girls out there but, you gals are the most indecisive people on the planet why should I be revolving my life around you. It's my life. (isn't that a song? A gay one at that. No offense to any gay people or any Bon Jovi fans) See for as long as I could remember there have always been crutches in my life. I did my best to get rid of a lot of them early. But, this one was always the one that snuck in. And I think today is it's day to finally die. So here he is the New Crutchless Anthony (no matter which way I look at it, It look's like I just typed 'Crotchless'). Love you guys..... Love you guys, Antny |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 20,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Well Well Well Friends, you are the remaining list of Anthony's Friends that would like to continue to get emails from him. So congratulate yourselves (or find yourself in the same position Neo did in the first Matrix movie when the other dude said, 'I know what you are thinking...I should have taken the blue pill') Needless to say, you love me and want to hear more of me and what's more important I finished posting all the 'Dear Friends' letters on the site (in which you can check out down below) so it is time for a Brand New 'Dear Friends.' So heeeeeerrrrrrreeeeee we go. So I have been through a lot the past month or so. Hell actually the past year. See last year about August or so I was playing around in some dirt (as little boys do). I found this piece of glass in the dirt that looked so beautiful and so perfect. I gazed at it for a while and decided finally (even though my parental figures advised me not to) to pick this piece of glass up. I held that piece of glass high in my hands as to say to the world 'LOOK WHAT I HAVE! LOOK WHAT I OBTAINED! LOOK WHAT I HAVE THAT YOU DON'T!' But you know what happened? (say it with me with the ever familiar roll of the eyes) What Anthony? The Damn Piece of glass cut me. This beautiful piece of glass put a nice 3 inch sliver down my left hand and I did what any little boy who had just been hurt. I dropped that peice of glass and I ran and hid. Now let's hop in the Delorian and shoot back to the Future a bit (1.21 gigawats!!!!!) It's now November 28th, and here I am still wounded from the beautiful glass that turned out to have a sharp deadly edge. But, as luck would have it I found the greatest thing you could find if you had a wound of this stature....I found a Spunge Bob Blue Bandaid. So I put this bandaid on and ooooh boy did this bandaid do everything it was supposed to. It protected my wound. It kept all the stuff I needed in to stay in and it kept all the stuff i needed to keep out....well out. The best part It made my hand look damn good...(after all spunge bob?) But, something happened that I didn't count out. The bandaid got old. It got crusty It lost it's stickyness.... I mean after all it's just a bandaid. It's not like it's part of my skin. Just a temporary fix. I will admit that I wish it was more...(like I said...who would want spunge bob to be a part of them). But the reality of it was it was just a bandaid it did it's job and now it was ready to come off. So I took it off. And I missed my spunge bob bandaid. I missed it so much. But today you know what I realized? My spunge bob bandaid did the best thing it could have ever done....because now I look down at my left hand and I don't see a wound. My wound has healed. Thanks to you Bob... Love you guys Antny |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 19,May,2003 | THE FIRST EVER DEAR FRIENDS!!!!!! Dear Friends, Well, the Mountain Home Hockey Tournament just ended and we took silver medal. I would love to go into it but, I am sure I will bore you all. Anyway, the reason of this letter is a very slick and sly way of trying to get you all to write me emails. Also, Anthony spends alot of his day thinking up real stupid stuff in his head. And I guess it would be good to get it out. So the deal is so, When I think up stupid stuff. I will write about it and tell you. Then you send me and email back telling me how retarded I am and we are all happy. :o) I work in a warehouse all my day. So needless to say, I have alot of time on my hands trying to entertain myself. I also get my choice of work-music and although the MH radio stations are worthy enough to go national, I choose pick a station which you might say is somewhat....well....Dorky. The Oldies station. I know what most of you are saying, 'like, sock-hop stuff?' The answer to that question is....well....yes. Love it. Can't get enough. Don't believe me? Fine. Let's go over that facts here. Even though oldies are so geeky it's funny how over 70 nineties artist's have decided to re-record these old songs to makes lot's of money? Still, not convinced? Songs fromt the fifties, sixties, and early seventies are used more for movie soundtracks than any other songs from any other generation combined. Now look if you are looking for your precious songs with Lusty whims take a look at a few Marvin Gaye songs, preferably 'let's get it on.' What about your passionate/intimate side. Nothing says, 'I love you,' like the greatest love song of our time....Unchained Melody.....Righteous Brothers. This past decade, society was torn in shreds. One of the many causes of this was the lack of entertainment in this world. The people that I grow up with are the most creative people I know but, without something to entertain them the turn to drinking, drugs and sex to get them through this life. Too bad we are not able to 'Twist and Shout,' 'Mash Potato,' or 'Shake it Baby' anymore. It seems like would be a bit more exciting. Of course I could just be talking out of my butt because it's six in the morning. Regardless, I probably will never know because no one emails me. :o) Love you guys, Antny |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 19,May,2003 | Dear Friends, I used to have a way of thinking that I am completely not proud of. I don't know if anyone else thought this way but, I was a big believer in sypathy. Patronizing my self was almost a daily affirmation in the way that I could not sleep until I found something about my life that was wrong. I understood that I wasn't the only one that had it bad out there. I didn't feel alone. I just felt that I, like many people out in the world today didn't deserve what happens to me on a daily basis. I am not gonna go into things because for the first time in my life I feel like my hardships and problems are not for public use. They shouldn't be flaunted or thrust upon people whatever the intention may be. I do admit that I never once wanted sympathy from another. Yet, I acted as though It was a perverbial 'IOU' that anyone I have every met was branded with at birth. But, as I said...this is the way I used to think. Today I realized something. I was created. I was placed in the spot that I am in. My life has gone the way it has and, furthermore, I have endured all the laughs, cries, loves, hates for one reason. Because I was made for it. Why would my creator (who ever he or she may be) create me and then throw me into all these tough situations that I can't handle. That's the question I used to ask. But, really there is no question. There is only that answer. That answer: 'The only reason I am in this mess is because I have the ability to handle it' No one plays a video game that's impossible to win. No body plays Volleyball against a bunch of 5 year olds. The reason why is because no one wants to play the game if it's so easy it's ridiculous. Just like no one wants to play if you are guarenteed from the start that you are gonna lose. That's why we all go through what we go through. Because deep down...we have the power to win. We have the power to make it. That's why it's not easy. It's also why it's not so hard that's impossible. I leave you all with the questions that helped me get over this hump. What is better than hitting that three-pointer to win the game? What is better than spiking that getting that slapshot off the ground for the first time after months of practice? What is better than playing that guitar riff with ease after messing up so many times? What is better than than winning, when you know you worked so hard for it and despite everyone else telling you it couldn't be done....you did it. Why? Cause you were made to do it. love you guys. Anthony |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 19,May,2003 | Dear Friends, I had a friend once. It always seemed like this friend was hiding things from me. It seemed like my friend was intentionally trying to hurt me. I didn't understand why because I never did anything to hurt this person. So one day I heard something bad that this person did. It made me very angry. So angry that I envisioned what I was gonna say to this person when I saw them. Boy was I gonna let them have it. They would never experience the guilt that I was gonna put them through. I planned out each word. Every excuse that was a possibility of being offered...I had a harsh comeback for. After all, this is hard love we are talking about. Take no prisoners. I am the one at who is hurting. This person doesn't have a heart. They don't cry when it's shattered like I do. The only thing this person is doing is purposely trying to hurt me. Then it happens. I see my friend. And BAMMMMMMM. I let my friend have it. My friend looked at me with shocked eyes. Trying to play me for a fool. Trying to tell me that they were the victim..but, I knew better. I mean, come on....who should I trust? My friend who I have known since he was born? Or a person I have never even met? I'm so stupid... Love you guys, Antny |
1,466,700 | male | 24 | Arts | Aries | 19,May,2003 | Dear Friends, Oooooooooooweeeeoooooweeeoooh Iiiiiiiiii Ohhhhh I'm still alive! Yeah ye Yeah Iiiiii Ohhh I'm Still alive Ok probably a bad Pearl Jam impression but, everyone gets the point. I am just writing real quick to let you all know that I love you and I am 'Still Alive' I want you all to think about Thursday. I don't know why or what for just think about it. Thursday is gonna be the biggest day of your lives. Something huge is gonna happen. It might seem bad at first but, in the end it will help. Or it could be something you have been waiting for. Whatever this life changing thing is....it is big. Thursday. Thursday. Thursday. I don't know what it is but, my NEPO is telling me it's big. Keep your eyes open and when Thursday comes rolling around I want you to indentify the event, whatever it may be, and tell me about it. (Even you Jennifer White). Remember it might not be important to anyone else but you. The thing is though, if it is important to you...that makes it important. That's why I want to know what it is. Details people. I have about 32 friends on my Dear Friends list which means I should be reading 32 emails on Thursday (and deleting the 60 emails that I get daily about all the 'Contests' I won). Thursday. Something is gonna happen. Are you Ready for it? I sure as hell am. Love you guys. Antny |
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