reviewId
int64 363k
588k
| userId
int64 33.9k
15.9M
| itemId
int64 1
1.42M
| rating
float64 1
10
| title
stringlengths 1
10.9k
⌀ | content
stringlengths 81
11.6k
⌀ |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
486,298 | 386,241 | 102,128 | 3 |
A muddled , self-indulgent film
|
Iron Maze has an intriguing script : the story of an attempted murder is unraveled through a series of conflicting flashbacks . Sadly , this script has been poorly directed , poorly photographed and poorly acted . The result is a muddled , unpleasant and self-indulgent film . Jeff Fahey is typically obnoxious , while Bridget Fonda looks pretty and enigmatic , but she doesn't really have to act to achieve those qualities ; her actual performance is closer to a zombie than a living human being . And J . T . Walsh plays ( surprise ! ) an officer of the law . The movie also has xenophobic political implications ( " those evil Japanese ! " ) , which it tries to reverse in the final scene . ( )
|
487,111 | 386,241 | 82,818 | 3 |
Frightfully slow-paced horror film
|
The most repulsive , offensive , degrading , gory , depraved and horrifying movie ever made , says a piece of a review on my DVD cover . Not even close . " I Spit On Your Grave " is more offensive . " Caligula " is more depraved . " Maniac " is gorier . And so on . After a somewhat intriguing start , this movie slows to a crawl and basically becomes one long wait until the unrevealing revelations and a gorily over-the-top climax ( though the final decapitation would be a lot more shocking even it hadn't been hinted at earlier , right from the opening scene which features a severed head ) . Ultimately , this is yet another over-hyped " video nasty " , whose ( relatively brief ) gore cannot cover up the lack of sense and originality . ( )
|
485,698 | 386,241 | 114,151 | 3 |
This embarrassment completely misses the point of the original .
|
Embarrassing , totally unrelated " sequel " shamelessly degrades the original . Nobody would ever claim that " Poison Ivy " was a masterpiece , yet it had an intriguing , morbid atmosphere and offbeat , eccentric characters ; it wasn't nearly as trashy as most people believe . This " sequel " is simply a soft-core porn flick , posing as a " thriller " ( with a ludicrously out-of-the-blue violent climax ) . Still , it would be easier to accept the film as soft-core porn if it wasn't promoted as a " sequel " , and if it wasn't so extremely TEDIOUS .
|
486,242 | 386,241 | 82,910 | 3 |
Padded but bearable .
|
This movie looks unpromising even before you see it : it's a sequel to a ripoff ! The first " Piranha " was nothing more than a low-rent imitation of " Jaws " , yet it was occasionally amusing and extremely bloody . This sequel contains almost equal amounts of blood , but it fails in every other department . It has a ludicrous concept ( flying piranhas ) that's a miracle it ever got filmed . It's full of tedious and murky underwater sequences ( not more tedious and murky than those in the Bond films , though ) and the running time is padded up by pointless scenes of uninteresting people wandering around and doing nothing that's worth watching . Not exactly unbearable , but still a poor film .
|
486,700 | 386,241 | 67,355 | 3 |
Inexplicably popular Western is fairly dull throughout .
|
This movie is overrated , to say the least . It's not good as a comedy , and it's not good as a " serious " film either . The pacing is far too plodding for the former , and there is too much lame slapstick for the latter . The only laughs come from some of Bud Spencer's reaction shots when he becomes exasperated by his brother's behavior . The dubbing is excellent but the full-screen framing is appalling . ( )
|
486,039 | 386,241 | 140,067 | 3 |
Pretty bad .
|
The miscasting is almost fatal ( Richard Grieco as a police commissioner ? ? ? Whose bright idea was that ? ) , and the storyline is painfully obvious ( we are forever waiting for the thickheaded heroine to figure out what is in clear view ) . Those two factors alone make the movie a waste of time ( and a warning to Angie Everhart fanatics : don't come here looking for nudity ) . Even if you happen to catch this on TV , viewing it will offer you nothing ; renting is simply out of the question . ( )
|
485,897 | 386,241 | 79,027 | 3 |
Sleep-inducing .
|
Low-budget and low-grade horror film will only make you want to re-watch " The Predator " , just to remember how you can do this kind of stuff right . The attack sequences here are so poorly filmed that you can hardly see what's happening , and they are separated by LONG , suspenseless , pointless stretches of " plot development " ; however , the plot never really develops . A deadeningly dull flick . ( )
|
486,875 | 386,241 | 94,298 | 3 |
She's not exactly a queen and she doesn't fight much . . .
|
. . . so the title ( and the video cover ) could be described as misleading . Sybil Danning does fight off a couple of attackers at the start , and does decapitate one guy with her sword later on , but that's about it . Her character ( the mistress of the Roman emperor ) barely speaks in this movie . She looks unimpressed by what is going on around her and occasionally even yawns - reflecting the audience's reactions perfectly ! Donald Pleasence , as the ruler of Pompeii , is ludicrous ; if Sybil doesn't talk enough , Donald talks too much , and at least half of his dialogue is made up from the same three words , repeated ad nauseam : " My lovely highness " . The rest of the cast includes Rick - " Deathstalker " - Hill , and a Lou Ferrigno-lookalike , and some beautiful women . The movie has literally NO PLOT - for 55 minutes we are watching these people do nothing , until it's time for Vesuvius to erupt and Pompeii to be destroyed . This climactic disaster sequence is OK for the budget standards of the movie , but it's obvious that stock footage was inserted at some points . ( )
|
487,156 | 386,241 | 113,949 | 3 |
Nemesis 1 is a masterpiece compared to this !
|
Nemesis 3 featured so much recycled footage from " Part 2 " that the story didn't seem to progress at all , and the result was an essentially pointless and useless movie . So Albert Pyun attempted here to drive the series to a different direction entirely . Problem is that by now few viewers still had the patience to follow his " vision " , that had strayed so far from the original ( and , by comparison , very entertaining ) " Nemesis " . Anyway , when a movie includes flashbacks to earlier films and lengthy closing credits that replay many of the " best " scenes we just saw and STILL runs only about 77 minutes , you know something's wrong . Sue Price's rippling muscles are the sole point of interest in this ultra-cheesy , badly acted production . ( )
|
486,847 | 386,241 | 64,395 | 3 |
The series sinks to new low .
|
The series that began with " The Magnificent Seven " ( which was great fun ) and continued with " Return of the Seven " ( which was nothing more than a poor imitation of the original ) sinks to new low with this long , very dull and utterly forgettable third installment . As if McQueen's absence wasn't unfortunate enough , here we have no Brynner , either . George Kennedy has taken his place , but how can we believe that he is the same character when he doesn't look even remotely like Brynner ? As for the supporting characters , they fail to stay in the memory .
|
485,635 | 386,241 | 82,812 | 3 |
Low-grade junk .
|
A low-grade , junky slasher pic , both predictable and preposterous . There are two nice things one can say about it : the music score is atmospheric and there is one pretty surprising ( if irrelevant to the plot ) moment at the end . But it's still not worth your time .
|
486,800 | 386,241 | 404,337 | 3 |
Pretentious schlock
|
Although this is a Belgian production , it shares a common flaw with some French fantasy / action / thriller movies : it's not satisfied with just being a good genre picture , no ; it has to be " ART " too . Therefore , we get moments of nonsensical character behavior and downright stupidity to rival any American B-movie , mixed with a tedious pretentiousness that has the characters speaking slowly and saying things like " I met her up north . . . . or was it up north ? " ( I don't know buddy , keep a note next time , alright ? ) and " I feel like a climber with an abyss below me " . The result of the mix is not pretty at all . The only redeeming features of " The Praying Mantis " are the attractive woodsy locations , and the mysterious , ethereal beauty of the female lead , Lou Broclain ( and she must be quite brave , too : at one point , she lets a real live tarantula walk all over her ! ) . Sadly , this movie appears to have killed her career before it really had a chance to flower . ( )
|
487,437 | 386,241 | 75,261 | 3 |
Worm-like pacing . . .
|
Slow-moving horror film , full of stereotypical Southern morons , has a few squirm-inducing moments , but ONLY if you find worms inherently disgusting . If you don't , don't bother with this film , it's not going to change your opinion . If you do , why would you want to see it in the first place ? In any case , if you do see it , you'll probably have forgotten it an hour later . ( )
|
485,894 | 386,241 | 79,631 | 3 |
Dreadful .
|
Sometimes a little-known movie can turn out to be an undiscovered treasure , but this isn't the case here ; " Nightwing " deserves to be ignored , and isn't worth your time . Lots of talk , lots of padding , few scares . A nice Mancini score and the great-looking cinematography are its only positive qualities . Skip it and re-watch " The Birds " instead . ( )
|
487,448 | 386,241 | 95,173 | 3 |
Pathetic .
|
I'll put it simply : this Frankenstein spoof ( actually more of a Frankenstein travesty ) doesn't offer enough laughs to merit a recommendation . There is no plot , and there isn't enough material for a feature-length film ; as a result , there are some scenes where the actors are just sitting in front of the camera doing almost nothing , because nobody gave them something to do . The script is lame and the treatment of the Frankenstein Monster is demeaning . ( )
|
486,841 | 386,241 | 114,306 | 3 |
Ludicrous horror movie
|
Well , you'd have to be pretty desperate to tolerate this stupidity , and this comes from someone who actually enjoyed " Leprechaun " ! Actually , the movie that director / writer Mark Jones mostly rips off here is " The Terminator " ! ( if you a fan , you'll recognize at least three " homages " ) . Rumpelstiltskin's puns are utterly lame ( " Now we're smoking " ) , and the male hero is incredibly irritating . However , I agree with the person who wrote that the movie's only redeeming factor is the strong , credible performance given by the actress who plays the female lead . In fact , she's so good that she doesn't fit in with the rest of the picture . ( )
|
486,994 | 386,241 | 63,595 | 3 |
Shoddy .
|
Shoddy , crudely filmed biker movie with interesting role-reversal concepts , which it completely misuses ( like so many other movies ) . It reminded me a bit of " Faster Pussycat ! Kill ! Kill ! " , but it is much worse . About half the dialogue is literally impossible to understand . The decapitation scene is so bad it must be seen to be believed ; thank God someone at least remembered to put the glasses back on the severed head after it had fallen on the ground . ( )
|
486,571 | 386,241 | 222,851 | 3 |
Shallow , badly written action / crime flick .
|
I haven't seen anything else from Takeshi Kitano so far , but I sure hope his fans are right about " Brother " being one of his lesser works , because frankly this is a very bad movie : shallow , choppy , often incomprehensible and gratuitously violent ( i . e , characters who have no bearing on the plot appear out of nowhere to commit violent acts just so that these violent acts can be included in the film - is there any other explanation for the " disemboweling " sequence ? ) . Kitano's script lacks depth , insight , originality and ( until the last few SECONDS ) emotion . His direction is better ; he gets in a couple of interesting shots . But as an actor , his inexpressiveness is not enjoyable ( as Eastwood's was in the spaghetti Westerns , for example ) , it is simply boring . ( )
|
485,661 | 386,241 | 90,859 | 3 |
Not funny , just repugnant .
|
Stallone plays a Harry Callahan clone in this absolutely repugnant actioner and gives one of his worst , most one-note performances . Most of his lines are taken directly from " Dirty Harry " , but this is more fascist .
|
486,765 | 386,241 | 101,883 | 3 |
Boring , cheesy , low-grade action film
|
In yet another case of misleading marketing , this film is included in a 10-movie DVD set called " Women Who Kick Butt " , but even in its original cover it seems to promise Shannon Tweed in an action role . Actually , during most of the movie Tweed plays the typical whiny and prissy female character who has to be rescued by the male lead , and even when she's trained in jungle warfare she still has to be dragged around by him ! There is one female rebel who is a stronger character , but she's mostly kept in the margins of the movie . The male lead is Reb Brown , and he does have some ( unintentionally , I think ) funny moments ( like when he gets electrocuted ) . The action scenes are badly directed and poorly acted : some of the stuntmen needed a few lessons on " how to get shot and die convincingly " . I suppose if you're in the right mood you can find some things in " Firing Line " to laugh at ( at one point , we can hear Tweed speaking but her lips are not moving ! ) , but mostly I was just bored . ( )
|
486,068 | 386,241 | 82,084 | 3 |
Cheap , illogical , sloppy , offensive .
|
When you make a film with a killer-kids premise , there are two effective ways to approach it ; you can either make it as realistic as possible , creating believable characters and situations , or you can make it as fun as possible by playing it for laughs ( something which the makers of " Silent Night , Deadly Night " did , for example , on an equally controversial subject : a killer Santa ) . The people who made " Bloody Birthday " , however , do neither of those things ; they simply rely on the shock value of the image of a kid with a gun ( or a knife , or a noose , or an arrow ) in his / her hand . The result is both offensive and stupid . The whole film looks like a bad idea that was rushed through production ( and then kept from release for several years ) . It's redeemed a tiny bit by good performances from the kids , but it's VERY sloppily made . ( )
|
485,604 | 386,241 | 82,136 | 3 |
Thin at best .
|
This popular 1981 movie can best be described as a flimsy excuse to string together as many gratuitous car stunts as possible . Hal Needham , an ex-stuntman , made an insipid directorial debut with " Smokey and the Bandit " in 1977 , but then also made one of Burt Reynolds ' best movies , " Hooper " , one year later . Here he's back in Square One , and Burt has rarely looked more tired . The film does have an amazing cast , but most of the actors don't have roles , they have cameos . I especially disliked Roger Moore's self-conscious spoofing of his James Bond persona , he's so much better when he plays Bond straight with a subtle sense of humor . The only performance that REALLY stands out is given by Jack Elam ; he has a perfect deranged look ! ( )
|
485,807 | 386,241 | 52,077 | 3 |
Corny , yes . Awful , no .
|
This is a bad movie , no doubt about that . What really sinks it is the extremely corny dialogue - I could have swallowed the cheap effects , the director's mistakes , even the " aliens " that look , talk and behave EXACTLY like humans , if the dialogue didn't try - and fail - so much for " self-importance " . But is it the worst movie ever made ? Hardly . There is an excellent comment somewhere in this page , which suggests that saying bad things about this movie is like " kicking a helpless puppy " . That's how I feel : it may be corny and inept , but it's also harmless . It doesn't leave you feeling offended ( like , for example , " Sudden Impact " , the fourth Dirty Harry film ) , it isn't vile ( like " Scream 2 " ) , and the short running time makes it a lot less boring that it could have been . As for the unintentional laughs this movie is supposed to provide : well , there are a few ( " future events like these will affect you in the future " ) , but if you're looking for a GENUINE camp-fest , this isn't quite the right movie - go watch " The Exorcist " .
|
485,919 | 386,241 | 75,382 | 3 |
A Sunday in the Country ? Take a walk in the park instead .
|
Words fail to adequately describe how truly boring and depressing this film is . Basically we have to sit there for 90 minutes , waiting to see whether a complete ahole will blow two other complete aholes away or not . Oh , the thrill of it all ! The performances are awful ( Borgnine sleepwalks through his part , while Pollard looks as if he was stoned throughout the shooting ) , and the editing is catastrophic . An exercise in boredom that you should avoid . ( )
|
485,773 | 386,241 | 79,734 | 3 |
Pretty dreadful - see " A Policewoman In New York " instead
|
When you sit down to watch an Edwige Fenech film , you can be pretty sure about one thing : she will get naked at least once or twice . And although it's always a pleasure to see Edwige naked ( or dressed , for that matter ) , what really makes one of her films worth watching or not is the context in which she gets naked . Her " Policewoman " films can be a nice break from her terrified-potential-victim ( in her gialli ) and her mindless-sex-object ( in her other sex comedies ) roles ; she can be in charge for once . But this particular film is largely dominated by painfully buffoonish slapstick . Of course , if you consider a lot of stuttering , mugging , cross-dressing and falling-down to be the apex of hilarity , you'll have a field day . Others will be better off tracking down the next chapter in the series , " A Policewoman In New York " : the gags there are funnier , the fights are better ( Edwige actually gets the chance to defend herself and throw punches ) , and the locations ( N . Y seen through Italian eyes ) are more interesting . ( )
|
487,526 | 386,241 | 95,060 | 3 |
Worthless .
|
Dumb trifle about a nerd who becomes an irresistible stud after two aliens ( one of them in the form of a sexy schoolteacher ) test a curious elixir on him . The fact that this movie occasionally seems to be DELIBERATELY bad doesn't make it any better ; even lots of gratuitous female nudity can't save it from being a waste of time . ( )
|
486,599 | 386,241 | 101,744 | 3 |
Kindergarten-level filmmaking .
|
This movie is so hopelessly inept , that if it was played in a more tongue-in-cheek manner it might have been considerable fun . Now , it's just corny . The sex scenes are reasonably stylish , but are arbitrarily thrown into various parts of the film , usually under the least likely circumstances . As for the action , there isn't even one minute of genuine danger or suspense . If the villain , played by Pat Morita ( ! ) wasn't so show-offy , there wouldn't have been a movie , either . Don't do it . ( )
|
487,060 | 386,241 | 161,083 | 3 |
Mediocre comedy .
|
The basic idea is not bad , but it becomes monotonous . The script is busy , but unfunny . The characters are played by capable comedians , but they range from merely unlikable criminals to truly offensive stereotypes ( low points : each and every appearance of the gay detective , always accompanied by his own " gay " music theme ) . And this film is an almost complete dud . It became a laughing stock upon its release , because of its unfortunate title ; sadly , this was the only way it managed to inspire any laughter in people . ( )
|
486,294 | 386,241 | 117,177 | 3 |
Couldn't be any worse
|
Fred Williamson , one of the two or three top blaxploitation stars . Cynthia Rothrock , one of the two or three top American female action stars . Imagine a film with these two together for the first time ! Now imagine THE WORST film that could possibly be made with these two together for the first time . Welcome to " Night Vision " . Of course , this movie was made in 1997 and they were both past their prime , but that doesn't mean they didn't have what it takes anymore - they just needed the help of good writing and direction . They got neither here . Rothrock does get to throw a couple of kicks near the end , but this film is so atrocious that you probably won't be awake to see them . ( )
|
486,592 | 386,241 | 63,678 | 3 |
As meaningless and pretentious as its title .
|
Impenetrable , confusing , ponderous allegory ( allegory about what ? ) that will be praised mostly by those who are afraid that if they say anything bad about a Pasolini film , they may be perceived as viewers unable to appreciate " great art " . The actors recite their lines mechanically , lifelessly , giving absolutely no hint of interaction between them , and the " heavenly " music tries to give meaning and purpose to scenes that don't have any . Anyway , if you consider the spectacle of a middle-aged man running around naked on some hills " arty " , then you may like this . ( )
|
486,410 | 386,241 | 86,383 | 3 |
Profoundly offensive .
|
The fourth " Dirty Harry " installment , and probably the worst one . Actually , this must be one of Clint Eastwood's worst films in general . In some of his other outings , like " Tightrope " , Eastwood seems to try out new things and to avoid presenting his characters as stereotypes . In this one , you get the feeling that he made the whole film just for the money . Aside from being overlong , predictable and repellently violent , this film is also profoundly offensive . We are asked to identify with Locke's character , who is cold-bloodedly killing her rapists one-by-one , to approve of Callahan's methods and to laugh at the " dumbos " who disapprove of those methods . Eastwood really goes over the line in this one , and the ending is particularly offensive .
|
485,835 | 386,241 | 117,188 | 3 |
Not as good as the first .
|
This sequel to the 1994 actioner " No Contest " ( which I enjoyed much more than I expected to ) is a much inferior film . The fight scenes are not badly choreographed , but all the rest is just SO stereotypical and familiar . Shannon Tweed still is up to the game , but Lance Henriksen does his usual " psychotic villain " number , and we're not impressed anymore . ( )
|
487,004 | 386,241 | 174,336 | 3 |
Revolting " comedy " .
|
Extremely vulgar and totally forgettable , " Whipped " obviously aspires to be a male version of the popular TV series " Sex and the City " , and indeed , just like that show , seems to be taking place on an alternate universe , where people spend their whole days talking dirty and roaming the streets trying to " stuff " , " pork " and " nail " ( to use the movie's language ) anything that moves . You'd have to be a real masochist to want to spend 80 ( and thank God they are only 80 ) minutes in the company of these characters , who seem to possess the emotional maturity of 5-year-olds , and whose vocabulary consists of about 20 words ( the most popular ones have four letters and begin with " f " and " d " ) . As for the plot , it's so predictable that you can guess its " twists " just by looking at the video box cover . ( )
|
486,794 | 386,241 | 105,496 | 3 |
Only for those who prefer flying-fu to kung-fu
|
Whoa ! I don't think I've seen such a collection of beautiful Asian women all in one movie since " The Inspector Wears Skirts " : Cynthia Khan , the young girl that hooks up with the hero , the hero's former girlfriend , the female police officer , the villain's girlfriend ( ESPECIALLY her ) , they all re-affirm my idea that Asian women between the ages of 20 and 40 are sexy as hell . Unfortunately , that's about the only worthwhile aspect of " Super Lady Cop " . Of course , I realize that people have different tastes , and if you like incoherent stories and silly , sped-up , over-the-top fight scenes with people flying , swirling , jumping , bouncing and rolling like balls , you'll love this film . If , on the other hand , you prefer stories that make sense and fight scenes that allow the stars to show their real abilities , then look for something else . IMO , films like " Super Lady Cop " and " Angel On Fire " are the ones to blame for the fact that Cynthia Khan never achieved as much fame and recognition as she could have , even among genre devotees . ( ) Note : it's possible that there are various versions of this movie out there . On my subtitled DVD version , Cynthia never actually transforms into Chun Li as another reviewer described , although she IS referred to by that name throughout the movie .
|
487,468 | 386,241 | 66,735 | 3 |
A yawner from Argento .
|
Dario Argento tries to use the camera inventively and playfully , but even all the gimmicks in the world couldn't have saved this excruciatingly dull thriller . The uninteresting plot moves slowly and gets increasingly ridiculous , reaching a real low point when the murdered is revealed and explains his / her motives ( they are just as unconvincing as their delivery ) . The film has a stunning final sequence , but until it gets there you may have already lost your patience . ( )
|
486,020 | 386,241 | 110,255 | 3 |
Some good fighting ; otherwise garbage
|
At first , I was hopeful : here is an Albert Pyun movie about a fighting tournament that DOESN'T involve cyborgs or post-apocalyptic wastelands , so there will be fewer distractions from the fighting . Tough luck : Pyun finds a way to screw it up again , with ridiculous one-man-defeats-twenty brawls , gratuitous nudity , inexplicable and laughably out-of-place sex scenes , torture , etc . The movie picks up only during the tournament itself , WHEN Pyun remembers to keep his camera focused on the fighters , that is . As others have said , the guy who plays Tong Po wears so much eye makeup that he looks as if he just stepped out of a " beauty " saloon . Michelle " Mouse " Krasnoo shows potential , however ; I wouldn't mind seeing her again , in a better movie . ( )
|
486,523 | 386,241 | 79,362 | 3 |
B-Grade all the way , but what a cast !
|
This flick has one of the most incredible casts ever assembled for a B-movie ! You've got Christopher Lee , Donald Pleasence ( fresh from " Halloween " ) , Barbara Bach ( former Bond Girl ) , Woody Strode ( those who've seen " Spartacus " aren't likely to have forgotten him ) , Capucine ( Inspector Clouseau's wife in " Pink Panther " ) , even the legendary director John Huston ( not his first useless supporting role ; remember " Tentacles " ? ) . Unfortunately , none of those performers get a chance to stand out and do anything memorable , the story is confusing ( although the main villain's " hidden " identity is easy to guess ) and karate expert Lewis , who stars , knows all the right moves but has little acting charisma . ( )
|
487,228 | 386,241 | 82,378 | 3 |
Senseless and unpleasant .
|
Uneven pacing ( too slow at first , then too rushed ) and senseless plot ( not even a hint is given about the killer's motivation ) spoil what could have been a quite watchable " Friday the 13th " ripoff . The result is much more unpleasant than entertaining .
|
485,713 | 386,241 | 82,377 | 3 |
A huge disappointment
|
After the wonderful " Omen " and the interesting ( if inferior ) " Omen II " , did we really need this ? It's a huge disappointment , a cheap-looking movie that lacks tension and is full of blah dialogue . The ending will make you angry .
|
486,253 | 386,241 | 110,329 | 3 |
So bad it makes the first one look like a masterpiece .
|
This isn't really a sequel to the first " Leprechaun " , it's more of a " Nightmare on Elm Street " wannabe , as the title character appears to possess magical powers that far exceed those he had in the original . It's a meaner and gorier film , but at the same time an even more boneheaded one ; there are some insultingly stupid moments ( particularly the two " red herrings " , which may make you stop watching it right then and there ) . Overall , even bad-movie lovers may have some trouble with this one . ( )
|
486,062 | 386,241 | 94,850 | 3 |
Very poorly thought-out horror film .
|
John Buechler proves again , two years after " Troll " , that having good special effects in your film DOES NOT automatically mean you have a good film . He may be very good at his main craft ( makeup effects for horror pictures ) , but his storytelling abilities are limited , to say the least . Actually , most of the blame here should go to the bad script , which has no consistency or logic ; for example , at first the monster ( which looks mostly like a werewolf ) is brought to life by the drawings of a cartoonist and can do only what is depicted in her pictures , but later it can move and kill freely and the comic book pages are drawn by themselves ! At another point , the old lady that runs the mansion inexplicably turns into the monster ! The mansion itself is supposed to be a place for young aspiring artists , yet a would-be private detective also lives there ! Ah , forget it . ( )
|
486,359 | 386,241 | 70,694 | 3 |
It doesn't deserve its great title .
|
Amateurishly directed , heavy-handedly edited and confusingly put together , this low-budget horror film has only a few frightening and gory scenes to keep you awake . SPOILER - The following note is only for those who've already seen the film - or never WANT to see it . By my calculations , the mad killer in the movie is about 80 years old ( ! ! ) , and homicidal lunatics have passed off as normal , trustworthy people for about 40 years . Talk about a preposterous plot . . . ( )
|
487,185 | 386,241 | 105,881 | 3 |
Dreadful
|
Martian supercop chases Martian supervillain to Earth , and Yukari Oshima's special forces unit has to deal with them - and with warring criminal gangs on the side . " Ultracop 2000 " epitomizes nearly everything that can be bad about Hong Kong cinema - sloppy direction , incoherent script , lowbrow humor , obvious and silly wirework , jerky editing , etc . - while offering very little of the good - a few nice explosions and stunts that barely earn this film out of 4 stars . A word of advice : if you know someone who has never seen a HK film before , please don't let " Ultracop 2000 " be his / her first one or he / she may never want to see another one again ! A sad waste of Yukari Oshima , who deserves better than this .
|
486,783 | 386,241 | 91,012 | 3 |
Grade-Z post-apocalyptic flick
|
If there is one thing I appreciate about director Cirio H . Santiago , it's that he seems to like strong female characters and includes them in many of his films . In " Equalizer 2000 " we have the sexy Corinne Wahl , who handles her guns with proficiency and adds the only spice to the film . The lead is Richard Norton , whose ( considerable , if you watch any of his HK work ) talents are largely wasted in a few poorly filmed fights , and who is a total blank as a character ( more the script's fault than his own ) . The action scenes are uninteresting and unexciting - chaotic battles between armies of anonymous people whom we don't know or care about . There is just very little worth seeing in this film , and almost all of it comes from Wahl . Even with her , however , your best option is to skip it . ( )
|
487,291 | 386,241 | 63,977 | 3 |
Women-in-prison schlock .
|
Surprisingly tame ( at least in the version I saw , titled " Island of Despair " ) , boring schlock from Jess Franco , whose direction is , once again , pretty terrible ( example : we get a flashback regarding the events that led a VERY MINOR supporting character to prison - and Franco inexplicably keeps it going for about 20 minutes ! ) . Luciana Paluzzi's role is little more than a cameo . ( )
|
487,089 | 386,241 | 21,015 | 3 |
A real dud from Hitchcock .
|
A stagy , extremely talky and deadeningly dull early Hitchcock film . If you thought that this director was unable to make a film so dull that it's practically impossible to sit through , this one will force you to re-examine your opinion . This failure is forgivable , of course : Hitchcock was still very young , and he was working with unsuitable ( for him ) material , on a very low budget . But the picture is definitely not worth seeing , unless you're a Hitchcock completist .
|
486,377 | 386,241 | 94,837 | 3 |
Inept
|
This blatant AIDS allegory ( ok , we get it , we don't need to see the entire cast wrapped in plastic throughout the movie ) , is inept and put together with no filmmaking skill ( don't trust me , trust the facts : Nathan J . White hasn't directed another film since 1987 ) . It is set in a provincial town stereotypically inhabited by ignorant hicks who , in a crisis situation , turn into bloodthirsty madmen . And after the initial pretenses of seriousness , the film turns " comic " and silly . Oh , and if you can't afford convincing special effects , why bother pretending that gruesome deaths occur , only to keep them off-screen ? ( )
|
487,297 | 386,241 | 90,944 | 3 |
A complete waste of time .
|
Truly terrible , pretentious , endless film . Director Bellocchio seems to be infatuated with the pretty face and figure of his actress Detmers - and who can blame him ? But maybe , just maybe , he should have focused his attention a little more on making a good , engaging film . I hate it when a sex film poses as an " art film " just to become more " respectable " . The frequent , occasionally hot sex scenes are the only reason for this movie's existence . Whether or not they are worth sitting through the rest of the picture is strictly a matter of taste . ( )
|
486,514 | 386,241 | 94,835 | 3 |
For undiscriminating girls-and-guns fans only
|
Oliver Reed ( cashing another paycheck and having a nice vacation at the same time , I presume ) plays a powerful ex-general / drug dealer / dictator of a fictional South American country , who kidnaps the daughter of his long-time nemesis Robert Vaughn , along with a bunch of other college girls , and keeps them captive on his camp in the middle of a jungle . He threatens to kill them if the US government doesn't release his son , who is imprisoned in America . But four of the girls manage to steal some machine guns and use them to escape , and Reed has to track them down before they find a radio and expose his location . " Fair Trade " is near-rock-bottom girls-and-guns fare . The girls themselves are brave , athletic and defiant , and their " leader " ( Lisa Rinna ) is a beauty . But their expertise in guns , knives and explosives ( and the similar expertise of two male geologists they meet later ) is never explained - the believability of the whole story is nil . Action scenes and production values are nothing much to speak of , either . This film is recommended only to the most undiscriminating fans of the genre . ( )
|
487,021 | 386,241 | 86,143 | 3 |
Terrible movie . . . steamy seduction scene
|
The luminous and talented Phoebe Cates wallows in this embarrassing non-movie , which is not worth seeing from beginning to end ( why ? well , for starters , there is no script and no direction ) , but DOES have some scenes that are worth seeing , even worth taping perhaps : you guessed it , I'm talking about the scenes involving Betsy Russell's impressive physical assets . For once , a case of hype that is well deserved . ( )
|
487,429 | 386,241 | 226,919 | 3 |
Every bit as bad as " Crocodile " .
|
It's not like that big mechanical toy , says a character early on , commenting on " Jaws " . Well , " Blood Surf " would only wish to have a beast as convincing as the shark of the " Jaws " series . In other words , the digital special effects of this movie are TERRIBLE . Acting and directing are not much better , either ; they seem more suited to a deodorant or a bubble-gum commercial than to a horror movie . The attitude of the people who worked on this film shows contempt not only for the genre , but for the audience too . Saying you " liked " this film only encourages filmmakers to offer us more of this crap , further destroying the poor horror genre . ( )
|
487,305 | 386,241 | 94,752 | 3 |
Dull mess .
|
Black Roses is a forgettable , low-budget thriller , which looks inevitably dated today , since its premise links - in a superficial way - rock music with evil demons who want to control the minds of teenagers . The effects are weird-looking and amusingly cheap , although there is more nudity than gore . The film's major problem is its messy storytelling , which has no center to help us get involved . >
|
486,869 | 386,241 | 70,423 | 4 |
Shoddy yet somewhat creepy .
|
Mostly dry and boring horror film , with shoddy special effects - yet quite creepy if you let your imagination do the film's work for you . It all seems quite disturbing on paper ( mutated man-plants , sideshow " freaks " , etc . ) , but the film's only real merit is another good performance by the ever-reliable Donald Pleasence . For a genuinely engrossing and dramatic " mutation picture " , I recommend the original " Fly " ( 1958 ) . ( )
|
486,024 | 386,241 | 91,326 | 4 |
Pretty dull .
|
The weak , meandering script is the major - but not the only - flaw of this pretty dull sequel to " Karate Kid " . The pacing is lethargic , but it's not director Avildsen's fault : this script , where almost nothing happens , could only sustain a movie about 30 minutes long . Until the well-done climactic fight , this film isn't exciting at all .
|
486,378 | 386,241 | 91,338 | 4 |
Too much " Party " and not enough " Killer " .
|
After a totally disposable first hour , you will be " rewarded " with a rapid succession of gore-less murders and a growling , bumbling demon . In other words , this is one of the worst of the many 80's slashers . The only reason it rates higher than " Zero " is that the three main female characters are fairly likable .
|
487,083 | 386,241 | 65,134 | 4 |
A bummer .
|
Well , Eastwood's rich career has its low points , too , and this 1970 bummer certainly qualifies as one of those . It's a dull and disappointing Western . The main problem is the thoroughly uninvolving story - so uninvolving , in fact , that it makes you wonder why exactly the filmmakers chose to tell it and if they thought it had any interest whatsoever . Eastwood himself is OK and occasionally enjoyable , but MacLaine is horribly miscast .
|
486,071 | 386,241 | 87,903 | 4 |
Strange .
|
Moronic sex-adventure-comedy with a disconnected script that takes you from one place to another following no logic or pattern , and a certain undeniably trashy imagination ( a four-way fighting match between women wearing heavy-yet-revealing armors ) . Tawny Kitaen is beautiful , but she can't act worth a damn . Check out Monique Gabrielle's work in " Deathstalker II " to see how a " deliberately " bad yet lively performance is supposed to be done in this kind of film . ( )
|
486,060 | 386,241 | 325,214 | 4 |
Not an atrocious horror film , just a generic one
|
Curse of the Forty-Niner doesn't really deserve a long and detailed review , so I'll just make some random observations about it : - Cool opening credits . - No plot . - Is there anyone who's ever seen a horror film before and can't guess , within the first 20 minutes , who will survive and who will not among this group of walking stereotypes ? - Hey , that newcomer ( Alexandra Ford ) is pretty hot ! - Richard Lynch ( made-up to look about 100 years old ) and John Phillip Law have fun , tongue-in-cheek cameos . - Karen Black has a bigger role , but she's not fun - she's rather embarrassing . - Martin Kove is on-screen for about 40 seconds , but still got his name on the video cover . Did they pay him for this appearance or was it the other way around ? - I hate cheap computer-generated effects in horror films . out of 4 .
|
486,391 | 386,241 | 122,603 | 4 |
Strictly by-the-numbers .
|
Old-fashioned horror film is yet another entry in the " man vs nature " sub-genre , of which the granddaddy was , of course , Hitchcock's brilliant " The Birds " . Don't look for anything comparable here : this strictly by-the-numbers film is barely thrilling , and the computer-animated effects too often look fake ( even the EXPLOSIONS look fake ! ) . The actors are game , but they play generally uninteresting characters . Still , it's painless enough .
|
486,411 | 386,241 | 91,178 | 4 |
Unredeemable .
|
Haunted Honeymoon suffers from a classic case of " all setup , no payoff " . It keeps introducing new eccentric characters , then drops them and gives them nothing to do . It has a promising ( and game ) cast , but wastes it . And it can't seem to find a consistent tone ; for example , that brutal fistfight near the end is an unforgivable mistake . The film does have a few scattered laughs ( Wilder's version of the song " Get Happy " ) , and Gilda Radner has a wonderful presence , but nothing can really redeem this confusing and convoluted mess .
|
487,427 | 386,241 | 130,192 | 4 |
Sluggish thriller .
|
Albert Pyun's directing seems to be improving with age . This is a perfectly respectable thriller , a movie that you would hesitate to call " inept " in any way - unless of course you're a personal enemy of Pyun's . However , it's also a bit too long and sluggish , and not as exciting as it should be . It jumps to life only occasionally ( mainly in the chase scenes ) . Charlie Sheen is not very convincing as a boozing , worn-out , depressed yet brilliant writer / ex-detective ; he's both too young and too clean-cut for such a role . ( )
|
486,659 | 386,241 | 70,578 | 4 |
Disappointing thriller .
|
The ambitious script deserves some credit for the way it keeps intercutting the past with the present tense , a technique that results in some intriguing effects ; in one scene we see somebody killed , in the next scene there he is , moving and talking ! But , the pace of the film is plodding , the performances detached and completely unengaging ( or maybe the characters are detached and completely unengaging ; in any case , you don't sympathize with them ) , the direction too " arty " ( for example , a driving scene with no dialogue runs about five minutes , while one of Karen Black's " melancholy " songs plays on the soundtrack ) . Plus , the VHS print I saw was SEVERELY damaged . ( )
|
486,620 | 386,241 | 91,223 | 4 |
Low-rent .
|
Low-rent horror movie with an illogical plot and particularly unconvincing Vietnam flashbacks ( it was all-too-obvious that they were filmed in a studio set ) . Some good comic moments ( especially the hero's meeting with the female neighbour ) can't save this film .
|
486,606 | 386,241 | 91,209 | 4 |
A huge disappointment .
|
This film doesn't really live up to its cult reputation . Sure , it's reasonably suspenseful at times , but very short on sense , and , overall , a huge disappointment . Hauer is creepy enough , but the film fails completely when it tries for " depth " : there is no sense of " relationship " between the characters - a thoroughly evil man torments a thoroughly innocent man . And why are all the cops so dumb ? And how many explosions does a " psychological " thriller need ?
|
485,761 | 386,241 | 221,218 | 4 |
Overlong and transparent .
|
It has been said before , but I came to the same conclusion so it must be said again : if you've seen the trailer , you've seen the movie . Super-glossy image , decent acting ( though I find Sobieski pretty boring as a lead ) and a good , minimalist music score can't do much when the clumsy screenplay has so many conveniences ( the heroine seems to have a mysterious knack for being in the right place at the right time to see / hear / find everything she needs to piece the truth together ) . The only well-handled aspect of the film is the subtle sexual tension between Sobieski and Skarsgard , but this sub-plot is soon dropped . ( )
|
485,762 | 386,241 | 78,259 | 4 |
A curio . . . and a DUD .
|
I can't believe that some people actually made sense out of this incomprehensible picture . I just watched it for the second time and I didn't understand a thing . The whole movie is so nonsensical and murky that I wonder if the FILMMAKERS understood a thing . Because I suspect they didn't , and that's what the " artsy " direction tried to cover up . Weird enough to be a curio ( and many will be curious about the Shouting scene ) , " The Shout " is nevertheless a murky DUD .
|
487,112 | 386,241 | 87,852 | 4 |
Lifeless , low-grade tale .
|
This is indeed one of the weakest films based on Agatha Christie's work , a lifeless , muddled mystery that clearly lacks the grace ( and the budget ! ) of its predecessors ( " Death On The Nile " , " Evil Under The Sun " ) and Donald Sutherland is a pale shadow of Peter Ustinov as far as screen detectives go ( of course , he is playing a character much less interesting than Poirot ) . The film manages to coast as far as it does on the strength of Christie's plot alone ( all her plots have a certain amount of inherent interest ) , but the direction is hopelessly flat . ( )
|
487,471 | 386,241 | 73,918 | 4 |
Languid thriller .
|
This was probably intended as an " arty " crime thriller , but it fails on both counts - there are few thrills and not enough substance . The plodding pacing makes it hard to sit through , and the occasional action scenes are too sloppily edited and confusingly staged to offer much compensation . At least the level of acting is high . ( )
|
486,815 | 386,241 | 105,059 | 4 |
Obvious and predictable .
|
Sweet Helen Hunt is better for bland Andrew McCarthy than sexy-but-bitchy and thoughtless Kelly Preston , but it takes him the entire movie to figure that out . This painfully predictable comedy tries to delay the inevitable by coming up with a series of forced scenes and situations , and it's also visually dreary , despite the potentially majestic locations . I think Hunt is the best thing in the picture . ( )
|
485,788 | 386,241 | 95,556 | 4 |
Cannibalism and incest - in a light tone !
|
A strange mix of traditional-80s , smartassy , Chevy Chase-type , " every - ten - lines - you - get - a - funny - one " farce and sickie black comedy . Mildly amusing in spots , but utterly tasteless . There is a skiing sequence that includes the fakest-looking back-projections since " On Her Majesty's Secret Service " . ( )
|
485,893 | 386,241 | 95,583 | 4 |
Nothing you haven't seen before . . .
|
Maniac Cop is made with enough skill to be watchable , but don't look for anything even remotely original or creative here . It's formulaic stuff , just another pretty basic slice-and-dice entry . It probably had been a quite ambitious project , with an indestructible killer in the Michael Myers - Freddy Krueger tradition , but the result is thoroughly routine . ( )
|
486,327 | 386,241 | 167,165 | 4 |
Colorful - but still terrible - Franco spy porn
|
Blue Rita is more or less what you'd expect from a Jess Franco film : very explicit - very kinky - very strange - very incoherent - very bad . The plot , as far as I could say , is about some Parisian strippers who double as secret agents : they kidnap enemy ( whose enemy ? Never mind ) spies and use sexual torture methods to make them " talk " . To give Franco credit , the production design is colorful and the cinematography is often striking . But the editing is incompetent and the pace is deadly . What puzzles me is how Franco convinced so many young women in his films to bare everything and be treated as pieces of meat by the camera , but I guess the men don't come off much better either . Still , if you just want to stare at naked women on the screen " Blue Rita " will do the job . . . . but so will many other AND better films . ( )
|
486,935 | 386,241 | 83,960 | 4 |
Utterly predictable .
|
Before you start viewing an early Chuck Norris flick , you certainly don't have particularly high expectations ; you just want to kill two hours painlessly . " Forced Vengeance " is an utterly predictable , formulaic , often boring action film , yet it generally accomplishes its mission . Norris is as stiff as ever , of course , and there are plenty of hokey fight sequences , often filmed in slow-motion , although I can't quite understand the necessity of that " gimmick " .
|
486,914 | 386,241 | 217,756 | 4 |
Get ready for another lame comedy .
|
Totally misguided " comedy " that has a stupid premise ( basically ripped off from " Rocky III " ) , mostly lame jokes and an overabundance of " comic " violence ( the filmmakers apparently considered the kicks-to-the-groin as their funniest gags ; they even showed us the outtakes of the kicks in the end credits ) . And Oliver Platt is ludicrously miscast as " The King " ; obviously , the role should have gone to a real wrestler , unless the filmmakers didn't want us to take the whole " comeback " scenario seriously , which apparently they did . At least the picture is energetic and fast-paced enough to avoid being boring . ( )
|
486,194 | 386,241 | 132,414 | 4 |
End of the line for Mimi Lesseos ' film career
|
Magnificent Mimi ' s acting is not so bad for a former pro-wrestler , but I still think it would've been a better idea for her to try more escapist fare if she wanted to break into the movie industry . The domestic abuse angle is distasteful when it is used not by a serious dramatic picture but by a cheap B-movie programmer such as this . And since Mimi made her living as a wrestler and not as a martial artist , it's not surprising that the fight scenes ( which are few and far between anyway ) that work best are those that are wrestling-orientated . Overall , " Personal Vendetta " is a rather dreary and predictable movie , but it does have its high spots , the highest of which is probably Mimi fighting in her lingerie . ( )
|
487,259 | 386,241 | 91,603 | 4 |
Familiar and sleazy .
|
The Naked Cage is a textbook anthology of " Women-In-Prison Drama " cliches ( innocent heroine , sadistic warden , lesbianism , catfights , stabbings , riots , etc . ) . Watching it , you feel as if you're wallowing in a cesspool , and the fact that leading actress Shari Shattuck is not believable for a minute certainly doesn't help matters . At least Christina Whitaker is spirited and fun as the " wild " Rita . ( )
|
485,992 | 386,241 | 801,349 | 4 |
The film drags , but Lorin Becker looks GREAT in a bikini
|
Triple Threat opens with a busty female assassin lounging by the pool , where she receives a call and accepts one last assignment . This beginning ( along with the DVD cover ) teases the viewer with the promise of some girls-with-guns action , but , much like many Andy Sidaris movies , this one promises more than it is ready to deliver ( the assassin spends most of the movie driving around on her bike and doing high-tech computer stuff ) . The problem is not the direction : the film has a reasonably professional look , considering its very low budget . The problem is the script : it has WAY too much filler in it , and the film d-r-a-g-s unbelievably . I see no reason why it had to run 94 minutes , it should have been at least 15 minutes shorter . The good news is that the lead , Lorin Becker , is assured , beautiful and likable , and even though some of the excuses Vasconcellos finds to put her in a bikini are absurd , she looks so good in it it's hard to complain , especially if you appreciate full-figured women . ( )
|
486,433 | 386,241 | 202,267 | 4 |
Invincible heroes are boring
|
Well , in response to the previous comment , I am a martial arts fan and I did not like this movie . The main reason is stated in my one-line summary : when the hero slaughters anonymous opponents by the dozen , as he often does here , it's not exciting - it's boring . There are only two good fight scenes in this movie : the one with the bald guy and the last one . These are the only ones where the villains put up much of a fight . As for the " no wires or special effects were used in the fight scenes " disclaimer , well , they used a lot of camera effects which in martial arts films is almost the same thing as special effects , as for the " no wires " part , it would be a lot more impressive if the lead ( or anyone else ) actually did anything that REQUIRES wires in the first place . Don't get me wrong , he obviously has the moves , but he doesn't do anything that I haven't seen before from guys like , say , Keith Cooke . The script is ambitious but ultimately silly , and the direction is often clueless as to how to shoot a fight scene . The actress who plays the hero's love interest packs a mean right punch - I'd like to see her again . ( )
|
486,181 | 386,241 | 325,560 | 4 |
Not too bad for what it is - no-budget shot-on-video fare
|
I watched " High Kicks " as part of the 10-movie DVD set called " Women Who Kick Butt " . No doubt if that's the first film of the set you watch you'll be disappointed , but if you watch it ( like me ) after such atrocities as " Death Run To Istanbul " or " Flight To Danger " it seems comparatively better . The female lead takes her role very seriously and gives a convincing emotional and physical performance ( she was stunt-doubled in some scenes by Michelle " Mouse " Krasnoo ) . The acting of the men sucks , but at least they seem to know what they're doing when it comes to martial arts . And although the film was cheaply shot on video , the camera-work is decent . Of course there are a lot of things that could be improved . The script is short on logic ( how do they always manage to find the villains so easily ? ) , the fight choreography is sometimes clumsy , and there should have been more action - the climactic fight , for example , should have been longer than 1 minute ! ( )
|
487,260 | 386,241 | 65,398 | 4 |
Exceptionally boring film . ( SPOILERS )
|
Moderately interesting but maddeningly slow and ultimately sleep-inducing thriller , set in the desolate highways of rural France . Starts off promisingly enough , but then it takes AGES for anything important to happen . The last 30 minutes are essentially a looooong , silent chase , and we are about 90 % sure that the supposed villain is not really the villain . The remaining 10 % is not enough to make the chase suspenseful . ( )
|
487,218 | 386,241 | 160,401 | 4 |
Familiar cop drama .
|
The title is a misnomer ; " In Too Deep " is shallow and rushed . There isn't one original idea to be found anywhere in this film ; you'll recognize scenes taken from movies you haven't even seen ! The " beginning-at-the-end " structure eliminates most of the suspense as well . But if you insist on watching the film , be sure to rent the DVD version with optional English subtitles , because only about 50 % of the dialogue is comprehensible . ( )
|
487,527 | 386,241 | 87,722 | 4 |
Incredibly boring .
|
This was the first Debra Winger performance I didn't like , and I've seen quite a few . She seems kind of enervated , but then again , who can blame her ? This whole MOVIE is enervated . The plot is uncompelling , the " love story " that motivates the heroine is emotionally uninvolving and unconvincing , and the result is certainly a big comedown for Winger , one year after her brilliant work in the much better " Terms of Endearment " . ( )
|
487,209 | 386,241 | 91,647 | 4 |
Half-baked .
|
If Brosnan somehow transferred his memories to Lesley-Anne Down , then why do we mostly get a third-person's point-of-view of his life in the flashbacks , with only brief and random intervals of his own point-of-view ? It may sound like a small quibble , but think about it and you'll see that the device simply doesn't make any sense . McTiernan fails to bring out the supernatural elements of the Nomads ( who come off looking more like your standard street punks - " they don't live anywhere , they don't work anywhere , they resort to violence at the slightest provocation " ) , and the movie drags . The ultimate point seems to be that Brosnan's character should never have bothered thinking about The Nomads , just as you shouldn't bother watching this film . ( )
|
486,268 | 386,241 | 56,601 | 4 |
Forgettable murder mystery .
|
Not having seen any of the previous versions of this story , the film this one reminded me more of is Lucio Fulci's ( ! ! ) 1990 shocker " Voices from Beyond " . The plotlines are different but still share some similarities , as they both involve revenge from beyond the grave , rich families with hidden secrets , a murder investigation carried out on behalf of the murdered man himself , etc . Unfortunately , " The Brain " takes an interesting sci-fi concept and turns it into a forgettable murder mystery ; you won't exactly be on the edge of your seat trying to figure out " who-did-it " . What's more , the chintzy production makes the movie look as if it were made in the 40s . ( )
|
486,908 | 386,241 | 95,294 | 4 |
Matchlessly gory .
|
If you watch this one for the first time unprepared , you may actually feel sick to your stomach ( I know I did ) . There is a self-mutilation scene , early on , that goes far beyond anything you've ever seen in , say , " Day of the Dead " or " Maniac " . If you manage to sit through that , you'll probably be able to sit through the rest of the film , though it's not really worth it . The gore here is mostly gratuitous and the story pretty weak , making little sense and ending without a proper resolution . Many fans of the series were displeased with the introduction of " the human side " of the Cenobites , but frankly it's the one fresh angle the filmmakers managed to come up with , to give the film whatever reason for existence it has . ( )
|
487,143 | 386,241 | 70,297 | 4 |
Who dreamt this up ?
|
Maybe it's partly because I saw it late at night , but this film plays like someone's feverous bad dream . Peter Cushing is the only actor who lends a degree of seriousness and dignity in what is essentially incoherent ( even in its original , 89-minute form ) , loopy garbage . And where exactly had the vampires and the zombies been training in martial arts and swashbuckling ? Is there a " Special Karate School For The Undead " ? ? ( )
|
487,391 | 386,241 | 100,926 | 4 |
Terminally dull .
|
A terminally dull mystery-thriller , which may sound pretty sound theoretically but plays out very poorly . The ludicrous script is full of ( MINOR SPOILER ) people dying and then coming back to life when the plot requires them to , and the director doesn't seem able to work up any energy and suspense . The gooey sequence that kind of " explains " the film's title is the only halfway memorable one in this tiresome film . ( )
|
486,184 | 386,241 | 100,917 | 4 |
The wheels of boredom .
|
Pretty dull thriller . The director chooses an " arty " approach with lots of slow-motion sequences , " poetic " music and minimal dialogue , and it doesn't work . The characters have no personality , the script is virtually non-existent and the suspense is deflated by the fact that the " evil " car's driver ( or the evil car itself ) has plenty of opportunities to get away from the heroine who chases him , but keeps returning to do battle with her as if he has some scores to settle ( we never find out what they might be ) . While you're watching this movie , don't be surprised if your mind starts going elsewhere , like into thinking what's for dinner or the next day's chores . ( )
|
487,539 | 386,241 | 100,867 | 4 |
Garbage , but Ginger makes it smell a little better
|
Vice Academy 2 is worth sitting through only for Ginger Lynn Allen : she is cute , she appears in black lingerie , she wears a revealing dress , she performs ( along with Linnea Quigley ) a strip dance , and she throws one mean right punch . Other than her , the film is so PAINFULLY drawn-out , so insultingly lame , so persistently witless that you simply won't believe it ( just one example : what a brilliant idea to create a powerful half-woman / half-robot crime-fighter and then put a switch on its back that anyone can easily move to " worthless " or " overload " mode ) . If complete lack of talent was a crime , writer-director Rick Sloane would be serving a life sentence . My rating is pretty generous for this one . ( )
|
485,907 | 386,241 | 83,803 | 4 |
These " Games " are no fun . . .
|
I somehow thought this movie would turn out to be an undiscovered treasure , but no such luck ! Visually murky and poorly plotted , this is basically an oh-so-familiar retread of " Halloween " , though the director shows some talent and tries to surpass the limitations of the script . The lousy ending does not help . ( )
|
486,379 | 386,241 | 83,801 | 4 |
For rat-movie completists only .
|
There's too much filler between the unexceptional attack scenes , but the special effects work better than you'd expect , considering their " infamous " and peculiar history . A fun bit of trivia that nobody else here mentioned : Robert Clouse , who made this film , was also the director of the last Bruce Lee vehicle , " Game of Death " , clips of which we watch during the extended scene in the movie theater . ( )
|
486,148 | 386,241 | 52,378 | 4 |
Acceptable hokum .
|
This movie may have a strange after-effect on you ; it's so short in length ( only 68 minutes ) and so trivial , that two or three hours after you've seen it , you may have forgotten everything about it . As a sequel . . . . well , it's about on a par with the original . There is no attempt at character development this time around , but the special effects are SLIGHTLY better . Painless hokum . ( )
|
485,884 | 386,241 | 206,334 | 4 |
If this is the new generation of Hong Kong action cinema , I'll stick with the old one . . .
|
. . . and here's why : 1 ) The plot is an overlong , unengaging mess2 ) The action scenes are generic ( mostly shootouts in which it's often hard to tell who's shooting at whom , and special effects-enhanced explosions ) . 3 ) The fight scenes are brief and overedited . There is one girl ( Grace Yip ) that appears to be a better fighter than the three male leads , and where is she during the climactic fight ? Nowhere to be seen ! 4 ) 15 years after the " Lucky Stars " series , Eric Tsang is still providing the same kind of lame-brained " comic relief " . Isn't it time for this guy to give it a rest ? Two spectacular sky-diving sequences are all I'll remember from this one . . . and yes , it's easy to see why the very handsome Nicholas Tse has so many female fans . out of 4 .
|
486,101 | 386,241 | 175,694 | 4 |
Low-rent blaxploitation / private eye tale
|
The blaxploitation fad was already in decline in the late 70's , and films like " The Guy From Harlem " were made . " Shaft " or " Black Belt Jones " this is not . It does have a funky score ( " that cat is a baaaaad dude " ) , some beautiful black women and occasionally amusing dialogue . But the production is completely amateurish - there are quite a few cases of fumbled lines that remained in the final cut , probably because the producers couldn't afford second takes . It's billed as an action film , but it's mostly talk : virtually all of the action is fight scenes , and virtually all of the fight scenes are comically bad , playground-level . The fighting in this movie is even worse than the fighting in " T . N . T Jackson " - and that really should tell you something . ( )
|
485,596 | 386,241 | 91,499 | 4 |
Disappointing
|
This film had a potentially very interesting concept ( all the machines go on a homicidal rampage ) , but didn't exploit very well . Actually , it did for a while , in some quite inventive scenes ( the " violent " soda machine provides the film's most memorable moment ) , but then falls into a repetitive pattern - trucks keep circling around the truck station , attacking intermittently , and the tension never builds . You'd expect to see a lot more cool and varied scenes like the early ones , but this film is actually very limited in scope . ( )
|
487,422 | 386,241 | 95,312 | 4 |
Complete ( intentional ) crap . Very talky too .
|
Incredibly cheap , incredibly talky horror comedy that's amusing in the schlockiest way imaginable . It's one of those films that are known as " deliberately " bad ( like " Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes " ) , which means they are easier to take than films that were meant to be good and turned out bad . . . . but they're still bad films , make no mistake about that . This one has a sense of humor that makes " Naked Gun " look subtle ( the private detective / hero : " I guess being a dick is a 24-hour job " ) , but unfortunately not quite as many laughs . ( )
|
485,603 | 386,241 | 65,506 | 4 |
Very unslick .
|
The fact that Henri Charriere , whose life was dramatized in " Papillon " with Steve McQueen in 1973 , wrote the script for this caper film and also has a supporting role in it may make some people willing to check it out , mostly out of curiosity . But don't be fooled ; it's an ( initially ) muddled , padded and unexpectedly unslick picture . Not even Claudia Cardinale in a low-cut dress can make it worth watching . ( )
|
487,529 | 386,241 | 95,304 | 4 |
Strange , loud fiasco .
|
Despite some atmospheric moments , some OK special effects and likable performances by Peter O'Toole and Steve Guttenberg ( Daryl Hannah is too " soft " ; Beverly D'Angelo is disappointing ) , this film is a fiasco . It suffers from special effects overkill , and the plot , which potentially contains some interesting developments , makes little sense . I think I'll have forgotten all about this film by tomorrow . . . ( )
|
487,384 | 386,241 | 91,828 | 4 |
One of Arnie's least remembered movies , and deservedly so .
|
The premise of this familiar actioner had some potential , with Arnold Schwarzenegger getting to act like a " bad guy " at least for a while , but unfortunately the theme is " explored " in just ONE scene , where he admits that he likes his new lifestyle as the right hand of a mob boss . But eventually he loses his patience , gets his machine gun and decides to wipe out the bad guys the old-fashioned way . And the viewer is inevitably going to wonder : why did they torture us for over an hour with all the secret-agent business , just to get to a " Commando " - type final showdown , where Arnie is able to kill dozens of enemies simply because they are too stupid and slow to get him first ? There is no answer to that question , and that's what makes this film ultimately excruciating . ( )
|
487,314 | 386,241 | 91,836 | 4 |
Failure . A movie that doesn't know what it wants to be
|
Neither a serious WIP drama , like director Tom De Simone's earlier " The Concrete Jungle " , nor an outright spoof of the genre in the style of " Naked Gun " , " Reform School Girls " is a film that suffers from identity crisis . The serious , sometimes even cruel moments offset the comedy , and the over-the-top moments undermine the seriousness . For a film categorized by Leonard Maltin as a spoof , it's quite astonishing how few not only laughs , but even attempts at comedy this one really contains . It's not a total loss : rocker Wendy O . Williams ( who also sings on the soundtrack ) has an incredible , ROCKING 37-year-old body which she proudly displays throughout ( RIP Wendy ) , and there is some nice girl vs . girl wrestling . But Sybil Danning , the big " name " of the film , is COMPLETELY wasted - if you're thinking of seeing this for her , forget it . ( )
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.