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486,437 | 386,241 | 286,484 | 4 |
Hey , pal , hold the camera steady !
|
Beautiful LAPD detective Amber Smith and her male partner investigate a series of murders that appear to have been committed by a serial killer known as " The Baptist " . But Smith had already killed " The Baptist " one year earlier . Did she kill the wrong man or is this the work of a copycat ? In the course of the investigation , Smith and her partner have an encounter with an eccentric female sex therapist , and that whole sequence seems totally absurd at the time , but it builds some sexual tension between the two women which later erupts in a VERY HOT lesbian scene in the therapist's luxurious pool . If this movie is worth renting at all , it is for that scene alone . Smith is less than believable as a cop , but she's not aggressively bad . The real problem with " Crime Scene " is that it has been badly overdirected . The rapid zooms , the freeze-frames , the shaky camera and all those other gimmicks that DellaBarre uses call attention to themselves and add nothing to the film . Really annoying - and DellaBarre doesn't let up on it for a minute . Maybe he thought he was the next Oliver Stone or something . ( )
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486,145 | 386,241 | 69,890 | 4 |
Routine
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This is a thoroughly routine blaxploitation feature , with clumsily edited and often unconvincing fight scenes , an imposing but unsexy female lead , a hammy and nearly ludicrous villainess ( played by Shelley Winters ) , and generally a very dated " feel " about it . About the only thing that keeps it going is some colorful " jive talk " , on behalf of some supporting characters . ( )
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486,650 | 386,241 | 118,137 | 4 |
Werewolves make such bad drivers !
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Inept acting ( Adrianna Miles is the worst offender - she does have a nice body though ; Richard Lynch is the only one who seems to believe in what he's saying ) , awful music score ( mostly funereal violin music ) , bad editing and a pointless script ( almost as pointless as this comment ) make this a weak addition to the Werewolf subgenre . Not THE weakest , however , and certainly not the 14th worst film ever made ( as its currently ranked on IMDB ) ; even some of the " Howling " sequels are worse than this . ( )
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487,027 | 386,241 | 74,285 | 4 |
One of De Palma's worst films actually .
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Brian De Palma directs a script based on a Stephen King novel : the ingredients for a guaranteed success are there , but somehow the final product turns out to be hugely disappointing . I usually like De Palma's wild and over-the-top style , but this movie is just annoyingly overdirected , with endless gimmicks used simply to stretch out a thin story to 94 minutes . Piper Laurie's character is such an unbelievable caricature of a religious fanatic that her scenes are practically insufferable . And there are some truly UNFORGIVABLE scenes : John Travolta and Nancy Allen " talking " in a car ( their dialogue is unbelievably bad ) , three guys trying out tuxedos ( a part of the scene is filmed in a way that will make think you pressed the " fast-forward " button ) , the voyeuristic opening sequence , etc . . . As for the famous " shock " at the end , believe me , you WON'T be shocked . ( )
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486,772 | 386,241 | 64,622 | 4 |
Terrible .
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Hmm , I wonder under the influence of which mind-altering drug the screenwriters were when they concocted this . . . . thing . It does have a couple of moderately funny bits ( the auction scene ) , but mostly it's just a shapeless , disjointed , self-conscious , overly " eccentric " comedy . Recommended only for fans of movies like " Casino Royale " . ( )
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485,911 | 386,241 | 87,428 | 4 |
Almost crap .
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They try for something weird , bizarre , unique in this film , but it all goes disastrously wrong - the weirdness seems forced . Right from the opening five minutes you realize that you're stuck for two - seemingly interminable - hours with a collection of unappealing characters and dreary situations , in a movie with a sense of humor that can be described as " self-conscious " at best . There are some interesting moments , of course , but most of the many famous performers are pitifully wasted . ( )
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486,033 | 386,241 | 87,425 | 4 |
Hot Dog . . . . The Music Video .
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Yet another inane mid-80s teen comedy , this one more sexually explicit than most . Some good skiing stunts , lots of ethnic stereotypes and frequent ( well , two or three actually , but those are more than enough ) cameo appearances by the boom mike . If you think about renting this strictly because of Tweed's presence , here's a clue : rent one of her later films instead . Not only does she look much more beautiful in those , but her acting has also improved . ( )
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486,008 | 386,241 | 65,656 | 4 |
Poor version of classic story
|
There is only one good thing about this " Dorian Gray " : Helmut Berger's ideal casting in the title role . Impossibly handsome , he is credible both in his innocence ( early on ) and his corruption ( later on ) . That is the only thing this movie does right , however ; nothing else . The choppy continuity ( Dorian falls in love in the first three minutes . . . he " changes " after twenty minutes . . . and so on ) renders the story shallow and meaningless . The film obviously wants to " suggest " a lot ( including belt-whippings , lesbianism and oral sex ) , but is so tame and timid in doing it that it could possibly get by with a " PG " rating today . By the time Berger drops the soap in his shower and a straight-faced Herbert Lom picks it up , the whole thing has become a farce . I haven't seen the more famous 1945 version , but it has GOT to be better than this one ! ( )
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486,196 | 386,241 | 113,341 | 4 |
Sophia Shinas turns this nothing movie into a something movie
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Beautiful , smart , dangerous , ruthless , tai-chi practicing Sophia Shinas is pretty much the only bright spot of this dud . For the story to have any chance of being less than absolutely ludicrous , we have to believe that the male lead can clearly see that the right thing to do is run away from this woman , but he is unable to do so because she is simply irresistible . And thanks to Shinas ' presence , we believe it . The rest of the movie though . . . . C . Thomas Howell is bland until maybe the last 5 minutes , and the plot couldn't be any more predictable . And don't be deceived by some famous names mentioned on the video box ( Kiefer Sutherland , Timothy Bottoms , Lou Diamond Phillips ) , they all have essentially cameos . ( )
|
485,630 | 386,241 | 286,594 | 4 |
Doctor Sleep can cause just that .
|
To describe this film , I will borrow a phrase that the inimitable Pauline Kael had once used : hokum without the fun of hokum . Despite some camera tricks and computer effects , " Doctor Sleep " is plodding . The script is muddled , and Shirley Henderson's amateurish performance as the female detective is a big hindrance . Though it is filmed in London , it takes little advantage of it as a city , and portrays its police as stuck-up buffoons . Besides , when a movie starts with plot elements like hypnosis and mind-reading , who wants to see a far less interesting story involving occult symbols and satanic rituals ? I will admit that some scenes work - they can make you a little queasy - but that's it . ( )
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486,553 | 386,241 | 74,494 | 4 |
Don't bother .
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Disjointed gangster film that specializes in pointless " destruction of property " scenes . Roger Moore is badly miscast ; he clearly looks uncomfortable to be in an Italian crime movie , and he shows none of his usual flair . Don't go out of your way to see this one . ( )
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485,945 | 386,241 | 83,024 | 4 |
Far below what you'd expect from this cast
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How did it go so wrong ? How can a film with such an impressive cast ( Franco Nero , Christopher Lee , Eli Wallach , Sybil Danning , Claudia Cardinale , Martin Balsam , Paul Smith - the torturer in " Midnight Express " - as , you guessed it , a torturer , etc . ) and such colorful location filming around Italy ( Rome , Milan , Venice , etc . ) be such a bore ? Probably because the story is slow-moving and unengaging , and has no real climax . Another obstacle for the viewer is the difficulty to buy people like Lee and Balsam as Italians . Nero is always likable , and Danning is stunning ( even if she's in completely " unrevealing " mode here ) , but these two are barely enough to keep you focused on what was excellently described by another reviewer as " a political thriller without thrills " . ( )
|
486,763 | 386,241 | 74,473 | 4 |
Don't believe the hype
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I had seen the cut version of " Emanuelle in America " once before , and my advice is : skip that version , it's boring and repetitive . Now I saw the complete uncut version , and my advice is : skip this version too , it's boring and repetitive . The pseudo-snuff footage , although undeniably well-executed , is way too brief ( about 2 minutes in total ) to justify its notoriety . As for the hardcore scenes , let's just say that I agree with director Joe d'Amato who , in his interview included on the DVD , says that " for me , eroticism is in soft-core " ( he also claims that he was forced to include the hardcore footage by the French producers of the movie . . . . who knows , that might be true ) . The overabundance of sex and nudity means that there is little time for build-up and genuine eroticism . The one thing I appreciated more on second viewing was Laura Gemser's performance as Emanuelle : besides her obvious physical beauty , there are also hints of intelligence and strength in her portrayal . ( )
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487,024 | 386,241 | 109,415 | 4 |
Don't bother .
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Third " Corn " entry , and there is no compelling reason for you to watch it . Although it's slicker than " Part II " , and occasionally displays some originality in the staging of the killings , it is ultimately defeated by its pointlessness . The " evil " boy in the movie seems obsessed with " He Who Walks Behind The Rows " , but we don't share his feelings , and we can't really identify with " the good guys " , either . ( )
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487,472 | 386,241 | 78,806 | 4 |
A bore .
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Slow , odd film that drags and plods ( I mean really PLODS ) along to its disappointing climax . You may expect some sort of punchline at the end , but there is none . Both Milland and Snodgress give awkward performances ; in fact , the film's weirdness may actually be the only thing it has going for it . The generally atmospheric score has some absurd parts ( like the music that plays during the first appearance of a monkey ) , and there is a truly awful fantasy scene involving . . . . a gorilla . ( )
|
486,811 | 386,241 | 74,408 | 4 |
Another Franco " goodie " .
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Normally one would have the right to call this movie " disappointing " ( after all , it is about the arguably most famous serial killer of all time ) , BUT . . . it's directed by Jess Franco , so how could one expect a good movie anyway ? But even if you can ignore the puerile psychology , the unintentionally funny dubbing and the dim lighting ( all too often you'll find yourself staring at a black screen ) , it's more difficult to ignore that Klaus Kinski is not as lively as you might expect in the role of the Ripper . Someone in the film says that " he can't control his compulsion to kill " . It looks more as if he can't control his boredom . ( )
|
485,942 | 386,241 | 91,752 | 4 |
Goes from embarrassingly awful to enjoyably awful . . . .
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. . . . and that happens at around the 50-minute mark , when Sybil ( as a character in the film exclaims , " WOW ! " ) Danning appears , well-cast as a fighting alien queen . Up until then " The Phantom Empire " is a plodding , sleep-inducing trek , and the cannibals with Halloween masks over their faces and old rags for clothes are beneath Z-grade cinema . The sole bright spot is Michelle Bauer as a bikini-clad " cave bunny " . After Danning's entrance , the viewer can at least focus on her phenomenal figure , and it's easier to forgive the unimpressive stop-motion animation effects ( I think " One Million Years B . C . " , from 1965 , has a better dinosaur battle than the one featured here ) . But if you want to see something from Fred Olen Ray that looks more like a real film and less like a college project , seek out his " Cyclone " from the following year . ( ) P . S . : To claim that you watched this film " for the dinosaurs " is like claiming that you watched " Jurassic Park " for the T & A .
|
486,150 | 386,241 | 113,199 | 4 |
Boring
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Gordy is a pretty cute little pig ( that also talks , not too convincingly ) , I'll grant you that , but " he " is plugged into an uninvolving , cheerless , funless , far-fetched plot . Frankly , it's hard to believe that a pig's life could be so boring . The film too often seems like an excuse for some professional country singers to appear onstage and do their stuff ; are there kids who are supposed to find those scenes entertaining ? ( )
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486,285 | 386,241 | 60,897 | 4 |
Boring and uninvolving sequel .
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Return of the Seven has a few good action scenes , and Elmer Bernstein's score is as rousing as ever . Nevertheless , it's a boring film , because it simply fails to involve us emotionally . Mcqueen's absence makes a really bad impression , and the fact that his character here is played by a different ( little-known ) actor is odd - in a bad way . The characters are not developed , so we don't connect with them - and we hardly care when some of them die . This sequel is a passable but poor imitation of the original .
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486,950 | 386,241 | 64,727 | 4 |
A negative verdict for this " Bloody Judge " .
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The kind of incompetent filmmaking that can be enlivened only by a few torture scenes . A completely uninvolving film , with a storyline so muddled that you often don't know Who-IS-Who . I watched the ( allegedly ) uncut , letterboxed rereleased version , and apart from an unpleasant rack scene , it's not particularly strong stuff . " Mark of the Devil " was a much superior entry in the same " witch-hunting " genre . Watch that one instead ! ( )
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485,703 | 386,241 | 96,117 | 4 |
Another " Nightmare on Elm Street " wannabe that doesn't have what it takes .
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Making the film as dark and visually fuzzy as possible in order to cover up the budget deficiencies is an often-used strategy in low-budget horror films , but this one takes it too far . It is SO poorly lit and murky ( and it takes place almost entirely at night , to boot ) that you often end up virtually looking at a black screen ( although perhaps the bad video transfer may also have had something to do with that ) . Alas , " murky " is also the best word to describe the movie's plot . The filmmakers throw in diverse ( and unoriginal ) horror ideas without any semblance of logic , and halfway through you get the feeling that they just about abandoned the effort to make a good horror film ; you know it when you see characters who are supposed to be in mortal danger ( or , in some occasions , even dead ) making small talk . . . . ( )
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486,575 | 386,241 | 74,593 | 4 |
Pretty dull .
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Predictable , by-the-numbers horror film , so reminiscent of " Jaws " ( even in the shots from the bear's point-of-view and the unmistakably similar music score ) that it has to be called a " rip-off " ( and it was probably intended as such ) . The story is too mechanically and monotonously structured , making this film seem much longer than it really is . ( )
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487,134 | 386,241 | 95,889 | 4 |
Yet another rehash . . .
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The change of setting and the introduction of some new characters breathe some life into this watchable sequel , but the general familiarity and a very messy script weaken the whole . One thing is for sure : after this third entry , the series had run completely out of steam . If you get bored , try to distract yourself by watching the excellent effects , and by counting how many times the name " Carol Anne " is heard throughout the film . Maybe more than 100 times !
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485,781 | 386,241 | 427,528 | 4 |
Slick garbage
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Mercenary for Justice is garbage . Sure , it looks slick , with above-average ( by DTV standards ) production values , international locations , and some great stunts . But don't let the looks fool you . The story makes no sense whatsoever from beginning to end , and Seagal's ego-feeding is in full-force here ( he is introduced as " the most decorated soldier in Gulf War I " - apparently he wouldn't even settle for " second most decorated " - and , of course , nobody can land a single tiny hit on him in a fight , despite the fact that these days he has to send his stunt double to climb over a 10-foot wall ) . The viewer has no idea what is going on or why , and in a turn of events that shows just how utterly moronic this script is , Seagal and his female partner Jacqueline Lord kill several perfectly innocent Cape Town cops and security people who were just trying to protect the bank that these two were ( inexplicably ) robbing , yet the film apparently expects us to continue regarding them as the good guys ( ! ! ! ) , because they are trying to save a black kid and his mother . What the hell ? Oh , and why does that kick-ass muscular and deadly female mercenary we see in the opening sequence get killed off so quickly ? At least SHE could climb over a wall . ( )
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485,951 | 386,241 | 87,243 | 4 |
Disposable - though not disgraceful - slasher movie
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Yet another slasher movie from the 80's . This one is set in a sports academy and has the novelty of the killer using a somewhat unorthodox weapon - a javelin . But that novelty wears off after a while . There is not much suspense , no real clues to the " mystery " part , and the ending - especially the motivation of the killer - is absurd . There is also a rather laughable scene where the killer enters a pool in full scuba gear , javelin in hand , and his / her soon-to-be-victim fails to notice anything and keeps on swimming ! On the plus side , there is ample nudity , a few well-done gore effects , the two main girls are cute , and most of the character interactions sound genuine . Enough good points to get this movie .
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486,848 | 386,241 | 87,222 | 4 |
Low-grade Bronson vehicle .
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The Evil That Men Do begins with a truly repellent torture scene , followed , a little later , by graphic verbal descriptions of equally repellent torture methods that the sadistic , heartless villain likes to use . But despite the use of such strictly-for-shock effects , the filmmakers can't really cover up the fact that this is just a dull , low-grade Bronson vehicle . Bronson himself is solid here , but he should have chosen a better script .
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486,852 | 386,241 | 92,147 | 4 |
Quite dull .
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Not a very successful mix of horror and comedy . Too many dull and deadly stretches , too many endings , too much effort by Grace Jones to little effect . Furthermore , it's an ugly-looking movie , and the bland lead characters never come fully alive . Any good points ? Well , SOME of the special effects are quite impressive , and there are perhaps two or three good lines . . . . ( )
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486,422 | 386,241 | 60,490 | 4 |
Muddled plot .
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Another film-noir with a very muddled plot . Why does that always happen ? Is it some kind of tradition ? It irritated me here , and it had irritated me in " The Big Sleep " as well . But " Harper " is much slower and more protracted . At least Newman plays the detective quite enjoyably .
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486,839 | 386,241 | 92,112 | 4 |
Silly " horror " film .
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This movie has a very hard-to-swallow premise , even by this genre's standards . We are asked to accept not only that a record played backwards can bring a dead man back to life , but that the record also contains hidden messages aimed SPECIFICALLY at one kid , when the singer had no connection to the boy when he was alive , and of course no way of knowing at whose hands the record would end up . Anyway , the film is fun for a while , but eventually the silliness and the pointlessness reign supreme . If they were really trying to create a new Freddy-like horror icon , they were way off : the villain here has no personality , no motivation , and no variety . ( )
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486,837 | 386,241 | 92,115 | 4 |
Good effects , but story has no point .
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This movie only serves to prove that you can't make a good film based solely on good special effects . The effects are the only selling points of the movie , and they are impressive ( we're talking about old-fashioned , " Howling " - type transformations here , none of that modern " digital " stuff ) . But the story is pointless in the extreme . And the film is rather boring . An example of its bad storytelling : when the boy asks the older lady if she's a witch , there have been absolutely no indications apparent to him to make him reach such an unusual conclusion , yet the script goes right ahead with it because it's necessary for the " revelation " to be made at that moment . And the boy acts pretty casual about the whole " witch " business , too ! ( )
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486,860 | 386,241 | 95,977 | 4 |
Low-rent , but maybe worth a rent .
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A low-rent , cheaply made police thriller that's kept bearable by some fair humorous bits , the nice chemistry between the two leads and , especially , by James Remar's satisfying turn as a narcissistic , psychopathic ( and , naturally , indestructible ) villain . Obviously a low-quality picture , both visually and dramatically , with a rather resigned Burt , but not unwatchable . ( )
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486,642 | 386,241 | 117,968 | 4 |
Surrealistic , strange , talky , flat , confusing .
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Raul Ruiz has crafted a genuinely surrealistic film , dealing with such subjects as identity , time , chance and the cyclical pattern of events , but for all his camera tricks ( some of which are outstanding ) , his storytelling is rather flat , and his characters talk too much . Ruiz asks for too much patience and too many allowances on the part of the viewer , without giving his stories the kicker that would justify them ; his one big revelation was all but spoiled in pretty much every review of the film , not to mention its own title . ( )
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486,803 | 386,241 | 74,703 | 4 |
Pretty dull .
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The " possession by a vengeful ghost " storyline had probably gotten to be old and hokey already by 1976 , yet a good movie that can make you feel the emotional drive of revenge could still have made such a story seem new and fresh . Here , the possessed hero seems more concerned with raping and insulting his girlfriend than with taking his revenge . This results in a rather plodding pace . I don't even know why I'm bothering to think about this film any longer ; it's doubtful whether you should bother watching it . ( )
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487,388 | 386,241 | 83,296 | 4 |
Poorly conceived horror .
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Senseless and totally ordinary slasher thriller that seems to " pay homage " to " Halloween II " , which was made one year earlier . It has all the customary elements down pat : the hospital setting , the maniac on the loose , terrified victims-to-be , knives that get bloody . . . . But it shows such shameless disregard for logic and motivation that it's really hard for a viewer to stay interested for the whole ( overly long ) duration of the film . Michael Ironside was physically a right choice for his role , but because he is given no personality and no special traits , he becomes one of the least interesting villains of slasher films that you'll ever see . ( )
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486,254 | 386,241 | 74,670 | 4 |
A must for all sickos .
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Full-frontal nudity ( in " up close and personal " shots ) ; tarantula torture ; flesh-eating ants torture ; breast torture ; arm amputations ; eye gougings ; eviscerations ; bloody beatings ; rape . This is not a film ; it's a catalogue of perversions . It's the first " Ilsa " movie I ever watched , and it's gonna be the last . Surprisingly good photography , though . And also a leading man with the most monotonously droning voice you'll ever hear ; even Charles Bronson shows more enthusiasm with his line readings . ( )
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487,221 | 386,241 | 83,232 | 4 |
Hugely disappointing .
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Hugely disappointing , totally unabsorbing , lethargically paced and practically plotless film . The acting is , as you might expect , of a high order , and the closing moments are very fine , but the story generates little interest and the film is about as cinematically exciting as an average episode of an average TV series . ( )
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487,531 | 386,241 | 39,800 | 4 |
Slow and stagy .
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This snail's-pace " thriller " / mystery seems to have been designed for the theater , not for the movie screen . There is a single set , the various characters ' entrances and exits give the film an extremely stagy feeling and when they talk , they usually utter lines of heavily portentous dialogue . The performances are generally stiff , except for Bela Lugosi , who overworks his facial muscles . ( )
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486,163 | 386,241 | 74,646 | 4 |
Lame as a comedy , OK as an action flick .
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This " sort of " a sequel to " Black Belt Jones " ( Jim Kelly's character is referred to merely as " Jones " ) is far inferior . The comedy is lame , the acting mediocre and the dialogue often very bad . But there is a continuous stream of action running through the film , and Kelly shows once again that he had the stuff to be a martial-arts star ( although his career was fairly brief ) . Plus , there are the colorful exotic locations that help you keep watching even the worst scenes . ( )
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486,918 | 386,241 | 102,395 | 4 |
Even unfunnier than the first .
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You know where you stand with " Mannequin 2 " early on , when you find out that the unfunniest character of the original has returned - and he has a bigger role to boot ! The " romance " part of the film is still kind of sweet , but Ragsdale is no Andrew McCarthy , and Kristy Swanson , unlike Kim Cattrall , doesn't bring any personality to her character ; she's beautiful but bland . In fact , that's the word that most accurately sums up the movie : bland . Its comic invention extends to " funny " accents , homosexual gags and chases in toy cars . If you like this sort of thing , go for it . ( )
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486,420 | 386,241 | 79,153 | 4 |
Forgettable , muddled thriller .
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Forgettable time-waster , without purpose or meaning . It proves that even a few wild car chases and large-scale explosions can't sustain a desperately uninteresting and uninvolving story . The large cast is largely underused . ( )
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487,264 | 386,241 | 86,947 | 4 |
Contrived
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Made and acted ( amateurishly ) by unknowns , this bland thriller sets up its contrived main situation right from the opening sequence - and then goes nowhere you haven't been before ( voyeurism , murder , the wrong man suspected , etc ) . All-too-obviously ( and all-too-intentionally ) reminiscent of " Rear Window " , but there's just no comparison . ( )
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485,797 | 386,241 | 280,672 | 4 |
Stale and illogical slasher .
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Right from the stale opening stalking sequence ( which turns out to be a dream to boot ! ) , you know what you're in for : another derivative slasher flick that does what others ( " April Fool's Day " , " Return to Horror High " ) have done before , and better . Supposedly it also wants to satirize the old horror cliches , but it succumbs to almost each and every one of them . The script has no respect for the audience's intelligence ; the killer violates the laws of logic ( getting in the back seat of a car without being noticed by the driver ? ) and the victims always do the stupidest things ( and they can't tell the difference between a real dead body and a " fake " one even when they're standing right beside it ) . Still , the direction ( apart from the annoying " tilted " shots ) is OK , and SOME of the actors ( for example the one who plays Doug ) aren't bad . ( )
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485,903 | 386,241 | 64,106 | 4 |
A " plodder " from Chabrol .
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A distanced , uninvolving movie , apparently regarded by many people as a masterpiece . Well , I have to disagree strongly ; as a drama , it never really pulls the viewer into the story ( which progresses very ploddingly ) , and as a thriller it almost never generates any tension . A tedious movie , only for patient people . ( )
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486,789 | 386,241 | 113,812 | 4 |
Nothing special
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Voices of Seduction / " Midnight Confessions " does have some beautiful women in it - the lead , Carol Hoyt , is an elegant redhead - and the premise of a late-night radio show where the listeners call the host and reveal their secret erotic fantasies and desires could make for an effective erotic film with a different approach , but someone thought it was a good idea to " enhance " the film with a dismal and distasteful , not to mention stupid ( for example , are prisoners usually allowed to make obscene phone calls to the outside at night ? ) exploitation plot about a nutcase knocking off prostitutes . Note to the filmmakers : when we are watching an " erotic " film , we want to be turned on , not off . Oh yes , Julie Strain's picture is on the DVD cover , but her part is nothing more than a 3-minute cameo . ( )
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486,363 | 386,241 | 86,987 | 4 |
That THING will work , I guarantee you !
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Bo Derek plays a college graduate who is also a virgin - and she's unconvincing on both counts . Yes , her belly-dancing scene is a highlight , but did she have to wear so much make-up all the time ? The rest of the film is a plotless , worthless affair , but at least it doesn't take itself all that seriously ; and it's this intentionally campy approach that keeps it at least semi-bearable . ( )
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487,307 | 386,241 | 67,116 | 4 |
Monstrously overrated .
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I'm glad I found out that there some other people on this planet who ( as their comments show ) consider " The French Connection " to be an incredibly overrated film . The famous chase scene is indeed well-done , but the movie takes 70 minutes to get to it , and those minutes are almost impossible to sit through . At least during the chase the film feels alive for a while , but then it collapses again . There is another clever scene , with Hackman on the trail of Rey in a subway station , but the rest of the plot is uninteresting and confusing , the direction is cold , many pointless sequences go on too long and the result is a yawner .
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487,248 | 386,241 | 296,271 | 4 |
Pretty bad PPV
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Well , the other reviewer certainly described this in great detail , so I'll be more brief : 1 ) Val Venis vs . Steve Blackman . Basic filler . 2 ) Mark Henry vs . D'Lo Brown ( European title ) . Who cares ? ) Jeff Jarrett vs . Chyna ( IC title ) . Probably the most entertaining match of the night . The commentary is funny , and the various outside interferences actually add to this match . 4 ) The Dudley Boyz vs . The Acolytes . Completely uninteresting match that barely gets any crowd reaction . ) Ivory vs . Luna ( women's title ) . Well that was a weird experiment . A short hardcore-rules catfight that takes place entirely backstage . 6 ) Edge & Christian vs . New Age Outlaws ( Tag Team titles ) . Where are the Hardy Boyz when you need them ? ( actually , they do appear at the very end ! ) ) Al Snow vs . Big Boss Man . " Kennel From Hell " match for the Hardcore title . The environment is certainly unique ( a cage INSIDE a cell , and the winner is whoever escapes first from both ) , but the match itself is an almost total dud . 8 ) Chris Jericho vs . X-Pac . Some good athletic moves in a decent but meaningless contest . 9 ) 6-Pack Challenge for the WWF title . Kane vs . Big Show vs . Triple H vs . The Rock vs . The British Bulldog vs . Mick Foley , with Stone Cold Steve Austin as the special " enforcer " . An unremarkable main event , but those who like it when trademark finishers are hit one after another will have nothing to complain about .
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486,629 | 386,241 | 87,018 | 4 |
Skippable
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The best thing about my DVD version of " Caged Fury " is the tagline : " Alone they are dangerous . . . . together they are deadly " . If only the movie lived up to it ! ( by the way , the picture quality on the DVD is on par with a poor VHS tape ) . The movie starts as a standard WIC ( Women-In-Camp ) drama , with a plot element of brainwashed assassins triggered by a voice on the phone that reminded me of the Charles Bronson flick " Telefon " . But that plot thread is forgotten somewhere along the way , as we focus on the heroine's escape attempts , first along with a male guard , later along with her fellow prisoners as they overtake a train . On the whole , the female action elements are disappointingly brief in duration , and the action scenes in general are unexciting . Unless you MUST see everything that Cirio H . Santiago ever made , " Caged Fury " can be skipped . ( )
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485,605 | 386,241 | 87,032 | 4 |
Unfocused and long .
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This film was really no better or worse than the original , it was essentially more of the same old stuff . Hal Needham still finds plenty of opportunities to fill the screen with stunts and there are several scenes of cars crashing through walls , flying in the air and dragging along entire houses with them , but the race has absolutely no urgency - at times you even forget there IS a race ! The participants just don't seem very interested in winning . Maybe the movie is worth seeing just because it's your only chance to see Frank Sinatra , Richard Kiel and Jackie Chan in the same picture , but don't expect to see them doing anything important ; the wandering script understandably gets lost among all those famous players , and the good moments are few and far between . ( )
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487,421 | 386,241 | 71,617 | 4 |
Not worth it , man .
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Simply put , there's nothing to be gained from watching " Homebodies " . It's not funny , it's not believable for a minute , it's not entertaining , and it moves ( fittingly perhaps ? ) at the pace of a funeral . The blind guy is creepy , though . ( )
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487,237 | 386,241 | 64,212 | 4 |
Muddled beyond belief .
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An ambitious disaster that could only have come out of the sixties ( just like " Doctor Faustus " , " Casino Royale " and probably several others I have not seen ) . The filmmakers must have thought that " De Sade " failed because it was too " avant-garde " for its time . Wrong ! It is too avant-garde for ANY time . It doesn't make any sense , you never learn anything about De Sade that you didn't already know before viewing it , and despite the bundles of nudity , there's barely a sexy moment to be found . ( )
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486,998 | 386,241 | 90,196 | 4 |
Mediocre horror spoof .
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This comedy has some tolerably funny stuff in it , surrounded by a lot of unfunny stuff . Just about every scene involving the servants of the castle and their silly antics is a waste of time . And the plotting is so sloppy that it makes you wonder if they actually had a script ready before they started filming this , or they were simply making it all up as they went along . ( )
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487,056 | 386,241 | 257,510 | 4 |
Terrible , but better than the first .
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It seems hard to believe , but this in-name-only " sequel " is actually slightly more fun than the original " Crocodile " . Sure , the digital version of the croc looks as embarrassingly fake as it did the first time around ( Jesus does it look fake ) , though the animatronic model looks OK . And the characters are equally unappealing and / or moronic , but at least some of them have an excuse this time - they're robbers , after all ( one of them even looks like David Hess ! ) . By the way , I spotted at least two references to Tarantino's movies , which must have been intentional . ( )
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487,382 | 386,241 | 113,732 | 4 |
Failure . . . .
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How low is Burt Reynolds willing to stoop , during this late phase of his career ? Apparently pretty low indeed , judging from this tedious thriller that was barely released theatrically . Reynolds seems miscast in his change-of-pace villainous role , and the snail-like pacing and poor production values remove most of the " entertainment value " this movie might had possessed . ( )
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487,033 | 386,241 | 67,217 | 4 |
This one needs hospitalization . . .
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I'm amazed that " The Hospital " has been so well-received by the critics and the public . I found it dreary , visually ugly and generally meaningless . After the first virtually unwatchable 40 minutes , the film does improve ( relatively ) , but it remains WAY too far-fetched ( not to mention unfunny ) to be successful as a satire , and has too little substance to succeed as a drama . The film's uncertain tone is its biggest fault , overshadowing even Scott's terrific ( as usual ) performance .
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486,854 | 386,241 | 82,525 | 4 |
Sprawling and tiresome .
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A sprawling , overambitious , plotless comedy that has no dramatic center . It was probably intended to have an epic vision and a surrealistic flair ( at least in some episodes ) , but the separate stories are never elevated into a meaningful whole , and the laughs are few and far between . Amusing ending , though . ( )
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486,773 | 386,241 | 82,527 | 4 |
Stay clear of this hospital - and this movie .
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This is the type of film that seems to think that some ( shamelessly gratuitous ) nudity and a few bloody gore effects can fully compensate for an illogical script ( almost every doctor is portrayed as a sadist ) and some of the most ludicrously conceived " false scares " ever seen in a horror flick ( just check out the early elevator scene ) . Well , thanks for the nudity anyway , but the film is just terrible . ( )
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487,013 | 386,241 | 82,511 | 4 |
Watching this film isn't hell . . . but it's close .
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I finally got around to watching this one ( it mysteriously proved to be pretty hard to find ) , and it was not worth the wait . It begins with some promise , but soon becomes a forgettable horror thriller , with too dark photography , and a killer who violates all the laws of logic by having to be " killed " about seven times , and also by being able to teleport himself from one place to another . And , with apologies to Linda Blair fans , she makes a very dull , wimpy , uninspiring heroine here . ( )
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486,362 | 386,241 | 64,175 | 4 |
Muddled and badly shot Western .
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Misleadingly promoted as a " Trinity " film , " Boot Hill " can barely even be classified as a " Bud Spencer-Terence Hill " film , since it gives the two stars very few chances to exercise their teamwork ( Spencer appears after the first half-hour ) . The story is confusing , and the direction is annoying : for one thing , many action scenes take place in the dark , and for another , the camera focuses a little too closely on the actors ; too often half the action appears to have been chopped off the sides of the screen , even though the version I watched was letterboxed . Not recommended . ( )
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486,405 | 386,241 | 75,016 | 4 |
An incoherent mess .
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Silly , disappointing Disney outing , hampered mostly by Ustinov's terrible performance . As Hercule Poirot , Ustinov has always been superb , but here he overacts embarrassingly ; the same year ( 1976 ) , Peter Sellers also played an inept Oriental guy for laughs , in " Murder By Death " , and he was much more efficient . Besides , the film has no coherency , and the story is hopelessly uninteresting . Frankly , I can't think of one person ( of any age ) that will find himself caring about what will happen here .
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487,078 | 386,241 | 71,247 | 4 |
Flat film .
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Unremarkable and unmemorable remake of an old , celebrated English film . Although it may be overly maligned as a total disaster ( which it is not ) , it never builds any tension and betrays its TV origins . Richard Burton sleepwalks through his role , and Sophia Loren's closed ( in this movie ) face doesn't display much passion , either . ( )
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485,843 | 386,241 | 67,388 | 4 |
Draggy , to say the least .
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Essentially a routine revenge tale , but so pretentiously directed that it becomes boring instead of simply routine . Another reviewer stated that he actually stopped watching the film , and I can understand that ; it really is a test of your patience . This thing drags along at a slower pace than its limp hero . Richard Harris deserves praise , however , for a great performance in a physically demanding role . . . . ( )
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485,684 | 386,241 | 71,229 | 4 |
An interminable bore .
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Michael Caine has always been one my favorite actors , but unfortunately he often starred in mediocre-at-best vehicles and had roles that wasted his talents . " Black Windmill " is such a vehicle : long , confusing , flat , nasty , interminable and thoroughly routine . The picture does show some occasional signs of wit ( watch for the early scene where the name " Sean Connery " is mentioned ) , but is really marred by its clumsy editing during the ( few ) action scenes . Even Caine himself just goes through the motions . At least the movie has the blue-eyed John Vernon , who makes a convincing villain .
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486,608 | 386,241 | 67,329 | 4 |
Tedious film .
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Tedious , utterly pointless crime yarn . After the five opening minutes , you have already started wondering why this movie was made . The movie ends and it still hasn't provided the answer to that question . Scott is an excellent , magnetic actor , but he is fighting against fourth-rate material here . . . . and he loses .
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486,470 | 386,241 | 114,126 | 4 |
Unusually lame Jackie entry .
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Thunderbolt is probably Jackie Chan's worst movie since " The Protector " in 1985 . Yes , I know that nobody watches his movies for their stories , but the plotting of this one is unusually lame , even by his standards , and while the fight choreography IS up to his standards , the fight scenes ( the whole two of them ) are ruined , as others have mentioned , by the frenetic , distracting camerawork . Even the most serious Jackie Chan fans shouldn't really bother with this offensively haphazard , stunt-and-plug-filled garbage . Anita Yuen's cute and perky performance is one of the few redeeming virtues . For a good " serious Jackie " movie , I recommend " Crime Story " . ( )
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486,011 | 386,241 | 102,043 | 4 |
Absurd
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There's plenty of eye-candy here ( though Mastorakis had the brilliant idea to kill off the gorgeous babe Barbara Lee Alexander halfway through ) , and Brian Thomson gives a funny performance , playing the usual " macho " stereotype and spoofing it at the same time . As an action movie , however , " Hired to Kill " is unpretentious but absurd : there is no real action until the last 30 minutes . . . then there is one of those " Commando " - type endings where the inept bad guys are essentially just stunt men waiting for their cue to " die " . The plot is totally anachronistic - brave commandos ( preferably American ) rescuing a revolutionary leader and overthrowing the local dictator of some banana republic - but the funny part is that , because the film was shot in Corfu , Greece , it was impossible to set it in the usual unnamed Latin American banana republic , so Mastorakis created a fictional Mediterranean country named Cypra ( ! ! ! ) . Hmmm , I wonder which real country's name he was trying oh-so-subtly to avoid . . . By the way , is this the official low point of Oliver Reed's career ? ( probably not ) ( )
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486,367 | 386,241 | 75,163 | 4 |
Overlong , exploitative and generally boring .
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Seeing " Salon Kitty " in its uncut version turned out to be a mixed blessing ; at 133 minutes ( ! ! ) this movie is way overlong . Any chances it might have had of being taken seriously as a historical drama are quickly destroyed by Tinto Brass ' excessive focus on male and female genitalia . Within the first 10 minutes , you've already seen enough flapping ds to last you a lifetime . And later on , in what must be a screen first ( thank you Mr . Brass ) , we even get a full-frontal nude shot of a deformed midget ! " Salon Kitty " is just as outrageously exploitative as the infamous " Caligula " . It may not match that film in the " quantity " of its perversions , but it more than matches it in the " quality " . Also like " Caligula " , the film has a vague , barely-existent storyline which doesn't begin to make its points ( about using Nazism as a vehicle for power and sexual domination ) until the last 10 minutes , and lacks any characters the audience can relate to . The woman played by Teresa Ann Savoy could have been such a character , but the actress , while luscious , is not very expressive ; all the others are way over-the-top . The production is handsome , but for some reason everything seems to be bathed in white . And the language is an ungodly mess . Most of the dialogue is in English ( clearly not dubbed ) , some of it is in Italian and there a couple of German lines as well ! ( )
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486,701 | 386,241 | 82,748 | 4 |
Formulaic slasher .
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Pieces is a slasher flick that does nothing to differentiate itself from the other slasher flicks . As it usually happens in this genre , there is no plot , no progression , it's simply one killing after another . At least the gore effects are rather crafty , and the liberal gushing of blood was a " nice " touch . But the director seems interested in those set-pieces only ; the " dialogue scenes " couldn't have been more drably staged ( or acted ) . And the dialogue itself is not only badly dubbed , it is stilted and unnatural as well ( people say things like " I seem to have done rather a lot of talking " ) . On the positive side , Paul Smith is fine as the " most obvious suspect " , and there is a good , minimalist score - a score deserving of a better movie . ( )
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487,365 | 386,241 | 113,965 | 4 |
Preposterous and by-the-numbers .
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This derivative erotic thriller remains watchable most of the way , mainly because a viewer is casually curious about how it will turn out , and because the director , Peter Hall , manages to stage a pretty hot ( and quite bold ) sex scene . But the finale , though unexpected , is preposterous , and the whole plotting ( complete with childhood traumas and multiple-personality disorders ) reveals itself to be unbearably cliched , especially as far as motivation is concerned . ( )
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486,925 | 386,241 | 48,937 | 4 |
Tedious
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I think Rossen tried simultaneously to condense Alexander's adventurous life into a two-hour movie AND to present a revisionist and thoughtful take on the character of that famous historical figure . . . but it didn't quite work . Narrative omissions aside ( where is the middle of the three major battles that Alexander fought against the Persians ? ) , it is a tedious epic with unimpressive battle scenes and , yes , too much talk . Burton is badly miscast as Alexander ; he looks too old , especially in the early scenes when he's supposed to be a teenager ( ! ) , and lacks the proper athleticism . This would earn two stars for the production values alone , but read a book on the subject instead .
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486,644 | 386,241 | 117,394 | 4 |
Dreary .
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Movies have always shown a fascination for these grim , dreary tales with unredeeming , amoral , warped characters at their center ( especially if the tales are based on true events ) , but OUR fascination with such movies is harder to explain and borders on the masochistic . If there is ONE ( 1 ) thing to be gained from watching " Deep Crimson " , I'm afraid I missed it . Although it's set mostly in the Mexican deserts , the film is rather claustrophobically directed by Arturo Ripstein , who lets several of his scenes drag on too long . ( )
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487,435 | 386,241 | 106,342 | 4 |
A warning for the unprepared .
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Since this film has received so much praise , I feel the need to issue a warning here for those who expect a masterpiece . The film is actually pretty difficult to get into . The storytelling is very confusing . For at least the first 45 minutes , I couldn't make heads or tails out of what was happening , who was fighting whom , who all those people were , etc . Perhaps this is a movie meant to be seen and understood completely only by those who have read the novel on which it's based . When an actual story does begin to take form , the film does have some touching and / or disturbing moments ( you get a good look at naked Siamese twins ) , but the much-talked-about violence and action choreography is strictly comic-book-level . This film needed more clarity and narrative skill to be successful . ( )
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487,309 | 386,241 | 75,229 | 4 |
Utterly ordinary time-waster .
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Utterly ordinary , thoroughly routine and totally forgettable adventure tale that's good only if you want to waste some time - although there are many better time-wasters around . There are no surprises and no attempts at distinguishing this film from dozens of similar films . As for the hand-gliding sequences , many of them are filmed at night and we can barely see what's happening onscreen !
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485,921 | 386,241 | 239,670 | 4 |
Mortally overlong .
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The premise is good , but the movie isn't . It's excessively talky and fatally overlong . For Christ's sake , man , this thing goes on for what seems like four centuries and never really gets anywhere . The segment about the dead body that has to be removed takes up most of the movie , and it's tiresome ( many movies have done this sort of thing better ) , though it does give Beineix the opportunity to stage some nice Hitchcockian scenes ( like one involving a blind man in an elevator ) . Overall , if you're looking for a good contemporary French thriller , stick with " With A Friend Like Harry " . ( )
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487,177 | 386,241 | 106,302 | 4 |
Another slice of cheese from Albert Pyun .
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Cheesy fun with pretty bad " virtual reality " effects and a very dumb ending . Like some other Albert Pyun films of that period ( especially the " Nemesis " sequels " ) , this is short enough and unpretentious enough to be bearable . . . and that's all . Megan Ward's rather appealing performance is a notch above the rest . ( )
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486,012 | 386,241 | 439,238 | 4 |
Watchable but derivative " erotic thriller "
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Bound By Lies wants to be an erotic thriller and a murder mystery . It fails because it is not very erotic , not very thrilling and not very mysterious . The two stars are rather over-the-hill for the genre . Kristy Swanson is still pretty , but by no means as irresistible as she's supposed to be here . She looked really great in the mid-90's - I wish she had done this kind of role then . I wish Natassia Malthe ( who plays Kristy's assistant in this film ) had the leading role instead . And Stephen Baldwin is no Alec , hell he's no William either . Stephen and Kristy " do it " only once , and in that scene he shows more than her ! There is an irrelevant car chase in the beginning ( which was mostly lifted from another film , according to IMDb trivia ) , and one good scene involving a handcuffed and tied Baldwin in a bathtub , but other than that you won't find many thrills here . As for the " mystery " plot , making the most obvious suspect the actual killer can only be called " unpredictably predictable " . However , I still found the film watchable enough to give it out of 4 stars .
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487,372 | 386,241 | 443,473 | 4 |
Blatantly derivative and disgustingly tasteless , but also surprisingly intelligent at times
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Mean Guns , " Battle Royale " , " The Eliminator " . . . . this type of story has been done so many times already that the only way a movie that's using it again can be worth the trouble is if a ) it's done REALLY well , or b ) it brings something new to the table . " The Condemned " is not done very well . For one thing , the action scenes are shot with the camera shaking and zooming in and out so much that most of the choreography is lost on the viewer's eyes . The film is also predictable ( it was produced by the WWE , does it take much effort to guess who the last survivor will be ? ) and tasteless ( the treatment of the female contestants is appalling ) . But it also has moments of surprising intelligence and reflexion - particularly in a sequence near the end where the psychopathic Vinnie Jones breaks into the control center of the " game " and shoots up everyone in sight : it's like having the bad guy that you think is " cool " in a movie invade your privacy through your screen and show you the real pain of violence . There are also several good performances in this film , not so much from the contestants as from the people watching them : Victoria Mussett stands out as the girlfriend of the man who sets up the show , not believing her eyes as he goes from a cynical producer to a conscienceless criminal . As for Stone Cold Steve Austin , he has physical presence but not much charisma as a film star ( yet ) ; that's why even his best one-liner ( " Sounds like you had a hard life . . . . good thing it's over now " ) comes across as flat . For all its occasional good points , " The Condemned " leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth . ( )
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485,912 | 386,241 | 86,625 | 4 |
Moronic vigilante epic .
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It begins with a couple of disgusting sex-comedy gags , but soon it reveals its true colors : it wants to be a " Death Wish " clone . I say " wants to " because the script gets so increasingly laughable by the minute that it ends up looking like an absurdist " Death Wish " spoof ! From a love scene in a room inexplicably filled with candles , to " heroes " who dress up as commandoes and wave their machine guns because they don't want to attract attention to themselves ( ! ) , to bad guys who drive around the city in a black van long after it has been recognized as their vehicle , this film has too many ludicrous points to fit in a list . The other major problem is that you can't tell most of the characters apart ; of course , you know who Borgnine and Roundtree and even James Van Patten are , but all the other roles could have been played by different actors in various scenes , and you wouldn't know the difference . ( )
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487,198 | 386,241 | 95,189 | 4 |
Unfunny and Unexciting
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In the unlikely case that some aspiring directors are reading these comments , I'd like to offer some advice ( free of charge ! ) , from a viewer's perspective . If you want to make a serious exotic adventure film , do it . If you want to make a spoof of exotic adventure films , go ahead . DO NOT try to make both at the same time , it doesn't work . For example , having a goofy " comic relief " character killed and beheaded and following it up with a monkey shaking a tree and dropping a coconut on a cannibal's head just makes you look like you had NO IDEA what kind of movie you wanted to make . This one is boring , meandering , cheap , racist . . . . you get the picture . A couple of smart moments and a few glimpses of nudity from Kathy Shower ( way too prissy here ) are hardly worth your trouble . There is a reason everyone has forgotten about this film's existence . ( )
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485,934 | 386,241 | 86,410 | 4 |
Nothing ordinary about this madness at all . . .
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While some of the sex scenes here have an undeniable raw force , calling this " a good movie " would be going too far indeed . It's stagnant in its pacing , and the female characters are conceived in a way that has no bearing on reality whatsoever . By the way , Ornella Muti is beautiful but her " performance " is very poor . ( )
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485,881 | 386,241 | 90,837 | 4 |
Cool title , mediocre movie .
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The overly familiar " Friday The 13TH " - type premise ( with an extra Sci-Fi note thrown in ) is better executed here , but the movie still amounts to a complete waste of time after it's over . The characters are engaging enough to keep it strangely watchable ( when they die , you may not be moved , but you aren't glad , either ) , but there are too many dumb inconsistencies in the action scenes ( especially in the level of damage that the robots ' weapons can induce ) . ( )
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486,990 | 386,241 | 86,476 | 4 |
Not very entertaining .
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One of Disney's more adult ( in tone and plotting ) films - but " adult " does not necessarily mean " witty " or " entertaining " . Unfortunately , this flat comedy-thriller is neither funny nor thrilling ; ultimately , it's just another " no-big-deal " experience . But I guess it's harmless . . . . if you have time to waste . ( )
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485,775 | 386,241 | 374,312 | 4 |
Sloppy cross between " Hard Target " and " Battle Royale "
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The Eliminator is a slightly more professional effort than Bas Rutten's following movie , " The Vault " , but that isn't saying much : it's still not very good . The fights ( the No . 1 reason for anyone watching this ) are few ( maybe 4 in total ) , brief , blurry , and gimmicked-up ( slow motion , fast motion , etc . ) . The script is not only blatantly derivative ( of the films I mentioned above , and many others ) , but sloppy as well , especially in the last 20 minutes ( one character practically disappears without a trace ) . There is surprisingly little action overall , and too much wandering around the island . I liked the professional stuntwoman Danielle Burgio - although she is not conventionally beautiful , I found her gorgeous in her own way - but she is largely wasted in this role . ( )
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487,091 | 386,241 | 105,616 | 4 |
Plodding and disappointing .
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This is a disappointing and plodding animated feature . I've always been a fan of this particular cartoon duo , and maybe the fact that here they can speak English wouldn't have bothered me , if Jerry's annoying voice hadn't made him sound so much like a spoiled kid . The film lacks the wit and the fast pacing of the short " Tom and Jerry " cartoons ; the songs are poor and mostly unnecessary , and the predictable , rarely interesting story just meanders along . The likability of the title characters is the film's only real redeeming element .
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486,671 | 386,241 | 156,706 | 4 |
Killing time - your time !
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Typical horror movie isolates a bland group of characters in a seemingly unoccupied villa ( which they run across after getting lost in the course of a bird-watching expedition ) , then throws some zombies at them trying to spice things up , but unfortunately the gore is none-too-convincing . There are occasional moments of tension , but not enough to merit a rating higher than . Sorry .
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485,906 | 386,241 | 95,063 | 4 |
Infuriatingly muddled .
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Dream Demon features some imaginative visuals and clever camera shots , but is doomed by its terribly confusing , almost indecipherable plot . When it's all over , few answers have been given to the viewer and the rules of the dream-vs-reality game are never explained . This picture remains a blurry enigma from beginning to end . ( )
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486,272 | 386,241 | 377,100 | 4 |
Not good , but not terrible
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An uninspiring , but not quite terrible , Steven Seagal vehicle . The dreary , unpleasant subject matter ( selling underage girls for prostitution ; not exactly the recipe for a fun action film , is it ? ) , and the standard Seagal ego-stroking ( he can defeat 10 men in a fight in a matter of seconds , he can remove a bullet and cauterize the wound in a few more , he is a computer ace , but he also risks his life to protect an orphaned Polish girl AND he wanders in the woods looking for injured animals so he can take them to his self-made cabin and nurse them back to health ) hold this movie back , but at least Seagal still demonstrates a few of his quick and efficient Aikido moves ( he can't roll on the floor though . . . . that has to be done by a double ! ) . Also , after seeing Agnieszka Wagner here and Tamara Davies in " Black Dawn " , I'm starting to think he has a knack for picking female partners who are both very pretty AND very capable in the action sequences . Avoid the rap stars and keep these women comin ' , Steve - they give me a reason to keep checking out some of your movies ! ( )
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485,873 | 386,241 | 71,080 | 4 |
Ordinary .
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This could have been a fairly entertaining caper movie , but it never comes to life . It has a promising cast , but most of the performers are given nothing to do ; James Mason brings the only traces of humanity to an otherwise very mechanical movie . In the last 15 minutes , the filmmakers even throw in some car chases and shoot-outs , probably hoping that the movie would gain some tension ( since there are no laughs ) , but it remains strangely indifferent and uninvolving throughout . ( )
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485,854 | 386,241 | 79,822 | 4 |
Inconsequential .
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Linda Blair has undergone quite an amazing transformation since the first " Exorcist " , but this inconsequential , goofy , utterly predictable comedy is easily forgotten a few hours after it's over , because it has no plot and no weight whatsoever . Meaningless stuff . ( )
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485,818 | 386,241 | 86,397 | 4 |
Purposeless comedy .
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This is another one of those rambling , pointless mid-1980's comedies that keep going on and on , without having anything to say , and without caring if the viewer is still amused or interested . The teaming of Matthau and Williams may appear promising , but it doesn't pay off , and the film is scarcely funny . Halfway through , the thin script has run completely out of steam , and there is nothing for the viewer to expect . . . apart from the redeeming " THE END " , of course .
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485,965 | 386,241 | 75,462 | 4 |
Drawn-out , overlong horror film .
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This film had the potential to be a chilling horror story , but never really exploits its strong ( if highly unoriginal ) premise ( seemingly innocent kids are actually the bloodthirsty villains ) . The slow-moving , drawn-out script is one of the major drawbacks ; the two main characters fail to win our sympathy because they are portrayed as two dumbos who take forever to realize what's going on . Their behavior becomes really idiotic sometimes , reaching a zenith of stupidity when the hero throws away his machine-gun , the only weapon that could possibly protect him at the time . The movie is often amateurishly directed ( on a low budget ) and it never provides an explanation for the kids ' murderous rage . And I know that even Hitchcock couldn't find an appropriate explanation for the attacks of the birds in his 1963 classic , but we rarely question the motives of birds . We are dealing with kids here , however , and the whole thing , though not unwatchable , just seems overlong and arbitrary .
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486,260 | 386,241 | 101,675 | 4 |
Inept sci-fi .
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The filmmakers apparently had enough money to be able to afford decent makeup effects , but not enough for a creature that would move around and attack convincingly . We never get a chance to see the " monster " move from one place to another - whenever that happens ( supposedly ) , the camera focuses on the " terrified " reactions of the humans that are nearby . And when a man is attacked by it , he simply seems to be holding an inanimate object against himself so that it won't fall to the ground . This is still not the worst " Alien " rip-off around ( the two " Xtro " films are even worse , for example ) ; it's actually sufficiently entertaining if you've got 68 ( ! ! ) minutes to spare . ( )
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487,057 | 386,241 | 117,226 | 4 |
Tired and tiresome mystery flick .
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An Occasional Hell is a low point in Tom Berenger's career . His acting in this picture is so lifeless that when people refuse to tell him what they know about the case he's investigating , he looks as if he's about to say " Fine , what do I care anyway ? " . The script is so slow-moving that at times it doesn't seem to be moving at all , and the direction is so pedestrian that , without the brief flashes of nudity , this could easily pass off as a TV movie . Apparently everyone associated with this movie was just too tired to even try making something good out of it . Everyone , that is , except Kari Wuhrer , who is incredibly sexy as always , and gives the film its only spark ; sadly , her role is all-too-brief . ( )
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487,487 | 386,241 | 86,192 | 4 |
Boring .
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Revenge of the Ninja got a vote of " 4 " from me , which means that it was a considerable improvement ( I think ) over the the exceedingly dull " Enter the Ninja " , to which I gave . It's still not a very good movie , though . Actually , it's only standard , boring kung-fu stuff , with lots of action and a " who-cares " plot . Apparently , the people who made this thought that graphic violence could camouflage the lack of interesting characters and the childish script ( they were wrong ) . As for Sho Kosugi , his fighting skills are no match for those of Bruce Lee , and his acting talents can best be described as " nonexistent " . And was that final , interminable showdown supposed to be exciting ?
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486,907 | 386,241 | 94,919 | 4 |
Avoid it .
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Some changes for the better ( the special effects are more elaborate ) , some for the worse ( Scott Grimes , a likable kid in the original , has turned into an awkward teenager ) , but generally this sequel is about on a par with the original - which doesn't say much . The PG-13 rating is questionable ; although the film is not scary at all , there is some brief but quite explicit gore , and some out-of-place nudity . ( )
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486,532 | 386,241 | 82,350 | 4 |
Average Norris .
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Chuck Norris , stiff-as-usual , in yet another mind-numbingly predictable action thriller which actually has just as much talk as action , maybe even more . Professor Toru Tanaka is a promising-looking villain , but even he doesn't prove to be a worthy opponent for good ol ' Chuck . And Christopher Lee is wasted , again . ( )
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485,837 | 386,241 | 116,778 | 4 |
Mostly unfunny .
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Many people found this movie , the second outing from the Farrelly brothers , to be hilarious , but I thought the funny moments were few and far between . Most of the time , this is a depressingly UNfunny , occasionally tasteless farce , that follows , and supposedly spoofs , the " Rocky " and the road-movie formulas , and has references to other recent movies ( like the " Indecent Proposal " , in one inspired little bit ) . As for the " offensive " factor , it's pretty low , despite its being " hyped-up " ; the only really disturbing scene is the aftermath of a dreaded sexual encounter . Woody Harelson does give a decent and believable performance , though . ( )
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486,309 | 386,241 | 94,957 | 4 |
Good martial arts , poor everything else
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Day of the Panther begins with a young blonde chick taking on several masked thugs at an abandoned building ( in a sequence that would have worked better if it wasn't intercut with other events happening elsewhere - a mistake that the director repeats at the end of the movie ) . She fights quite well , but she gets killed off ( bummer ! ) , and her partner , Jason Blade ( Edward John Stazak ) takes charge from then on . This guy has zero charisma , but I have to give credit where credit is due : when it comes to the martial arts he knows what he is doing , his execution is fast and smooth . The story is totally formulaic , and the cinematography has a cheap , overexposed look , as if the film stock was left out in the sun too long . ( )
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486,947 | 386,241 | 82,352 | 4 |
Standard early-80s slasher .
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Standard slasher film benefits from a strong performance by Lauren Tewes as the capable , smart heroine , but suffers from heavy cuts that were made in order for it to receive an " R " rating . I have to wonder why , since other films of the time ( " Maniac " and " The Prowler " ) displayed Tom Savini's amazingly bloody effects in all their glory and still got an " R " ( at least in America ) . What's even more frustrating is that the scenes that were cut existed in all-too-obvious spots , and they would be much less unpleasant to watch than the misogynistic type of violence that remains intact in the film . Anyway , it's better than " Friday The 13th " . . . . but that doesn't mean much . ( )
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487,116 | 386,241 | 86,264 | 4 |
Lowbrow but inoffensive .
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A raucous , stupid teen sex comedy that's rather bearable , if you start watching it knowing more or less what to expect . Short on laughs and genuine eroticism , to be sure , but voyeurs may still be pleased , since there's a load of nudity . Nevertheless , it's a generally inoffensive picture . ( )
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