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ABSOLUTE
Hush;--hush, my life! softly! be not surprised!
LYDIA
I am so astonished! and so terrified! and so overjoyed!--for Heaven's
sake! how came you here?
ABSOLUTE
Briefly, I have deceived your aunt--I was informed that my new rival
was to visit here this evening, and contriving to have him kept away,
have passed myself on her for Captain Absolute.
LYDIA
O charming! And she really takes you for young Absolute?
ABSOLUTE
Oh, she's convinced of it.
LYDIA
Ha! ha! ha! I can't forbear laughing to think how her sagacity is
overreached!
ABSOLUTE
But we trifle with our precious moments--such another opportunity may
not occur; then let me now conjure my kind, my condescending angel, to
fix the time when I may rescue her from undeserving persecution, and
with a licensed warmth plead for my reward.
LYDIA
Will you then, Beverley, consent to forfeit that portion of my paltry
wealth?--that burden on the wings of love?
ABSOLUTE
Oh, come to me--rich only thus--in loveliness! Bring no portion to me
but thy love--'twill be generous in you, Lydia--for well you know, it
is the only dower your poor Beverley can repay.
LYDIA
[Aside.] How persuasive are his words!--how charming will poverty be
with him!
ABSOLUTE
Ah! my soul, what a life will we then live! Love shall be our idol and
support! we will worship him with a monastic strictness; abjuring all
worldly toys, to centre every thought and action there. Proud of
calamity, we will enjoy the wreck of wealth; while the surrounding
gloom of adversity shall make the flame of our pure love show doubly
bright. By Heavens! I would fling all goods of fortune from me with a
prodigal hand, to enjoy the scene where I might clasp my Lydia to my
bosom, and say, the world affords no smile to me but here--[Embracing
her.] [Aside.] If she holds out now, the devil is in it!
LYDIA
[Aside.] Now could I fly with him to the antipodes! but my persecution
is not yet come to a crisis.
[Re-enter Mrs. MALAPROP, listening.]
Mrs. MALAPROP
[Aside.] I am impatient to know how the little hussy deports herself.
ABSOLUTE
So pensive, Lydia!--is then your warmth abated?
Mrs. MALAPROP
[Aside.] Warmth abated!--so!--she has been in a passion, I suppose.
LYDIA
No--nor ever can while I have life.
Mrs. MALAPROP
[Aside.] An ill tempered little devil! She'll be in a passion all her
life--will she?
LYDIA
Think not the idle threats of my ridiculous aunt can ever have any
weight with me.
Mrs. MALAPROP
[Aside.] Very dutiful, upon my word!
LYDIA
Let her choice be Captain Absolute, but Beverley is mine.
Mrs. MALAPROP
[Aside.] I am astonished at her assurance!--to his face--this is to
his face!
ABSOLUTE
Thus then let me enforce my suit. [Kneeling.]
Mrs. MALAPROP
[Aside.] Ay, poor young man!--down on his knees entreating for
pity!--I can contain no longer.--[Coming forward.] Why, thou vixen!--I
have overheard you.
ABSOLUTE
[Aside.] Oh, confound her vigilance!
Mrs. MALAPROP