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ABSOLUTE
Why no, Bob--not in this affair--it would not be quite so proper.
ACRES
Well, then, I must get my friend Sir Lucius. I shall have your good
wishes, however, Jack?
ABSOLUTE
Whenever he meets you, believe me.
[Re-enter SERVANT.]
SERVANT
Sir Anthony Absolute is below, inquiring for the captain.
ABSOLUTE
I'll come instantly.----
[Exit SERVANT.]
Well, my little hero, success attend you. [Going.]
ACRES
----Stay--stay, Jack.--If Beverley should ask you what kind of a man
your friend Acres is, do tell him I am a devil of a fellow--will you,
Jack?
ABSOLUTE
To be sure I shall. I'll say you are a determined dog--hey, Bob!
ACRES
Ah, do, do--and if that frightens him, egad, perhaps he mayn't come. So
tell him I generally kill a man a week; will you, Jack?
ABSOLUTE
I will, I will; I'll say you are called in the country Fighting Bob.
ACRES
Right--right--'tis all to prevent mischief; for I don't want to take
his life if I clear my honour.
ABSOLUTE
No!--that's very kind of you.
ACRES
Why, you don't wish me to kill him--do you, Jack?
ABSOLUTE
No, upon my soul, I do not. But a devil of a fellow, hey? [Going.]
ACRES
True, true--but stay--stay, Jack--you may add, that you never saw me in
such a rage before--a most devouring rage!
ABSOLUTE
I will, I will.
ACRES
Remember, Jack--a determined dog!
ABSOLUTE
Ay, ay, Fighting Bob!
[Exeunt severally.]
[Mrs. MALAPROP and LYDIA.]
Mrs. MALAPROP
Why, thou perverse one!--tell me what you can object to him? Isn't he a
handsome man?--tell me that. A genteel man? a pretty figure of a man?
LYDIA
[Aside.] She little thinks whom she is praising!--[Aloud.] So is
Beverley, ma'am.
Mrs. MALAPROP
No caparisons, miss, if you please. Caparisons don't become a young
woman. No! Captain Absolute is indeed a fine gentleman!
LYDIA
[Aside.] Ay, the Captain Absolute you have seen.
Mrs. MALAPROP
Then he's so well bred;--so full of alacrity, and adulation!--and has
so much to say for himself:--in such good language, too! His
physiognomy so grammatical! Then his presence is so noble! I protest,
when I saw him, I thought of what Hamlet says in the play:--
"Hesperian curls--the front of Job himself!--
An eye, like March, to threaten at command!--
A station, like Harry Mercury, new----"
Something about kissing--on a hill--however, the similitude struck me
directly.
LYDIA
[Aside.] How enraged she'll be presently, when she discovers her
mistake!
[Enter SERVANT.]
SERVANT