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The--the--excess of my awe, and my--my--my modesty, quite choke me!
Sir ANTHONY
Ah! your modesty again!--I'll tell you what, Jack; if you don't speak
out directly, and glibly too, I shall be in such a rage!--Mrs.
Malaprop, I wish the lady would favour us with something more than a
side-front.
[Mrs. MALAPROP seems to chide LYDIA.]
ABSOLUTE
[Aside.] So all will out, I see!--[Goes up to LYDIA, speaks softly.] Be
not surprised, my Lydia, suppress all surprise at present.
LYDIA
[Aside.] Heavens! 'tis Beverley's voice! Sure he can't have imposed on
Sir Anthony too!--[Looks round by degrees, then starts up.] Is this
possible!--my Beverley!--how can this be?--my Beverley?
ABSOLUTE
[Aside.] Ah! 'tis all over.
Sir ANTHONY
Beverley!--the devil--Beverley!--What can the girl mean?--this is my
son, Jack Absolute.
Mrs. MALAPROP
For shame, hussy! for shame! your head runs so on that fellow, that you
have him always in your eyes!--beg Captain Absolute's pardon directly.
LYDIA
I see no Captain Absolute, but my loved Beverley!
Sir ANTHONY
Zounds! the girl's mad!--her brain's turned by reading.
Mrs. MALAPROP
O' my conscience, I believe so!--What do you mean by Beverley,
hussy?--You saw Captain Absolute before to-day; there he is--your
husband that shall be.
LYDIA
With all my soul, ma'am--when I refuse my Beverley----
Sir ANTHONY
Oh! she's as mad as Bedlam!--or has this fellow been playing us a
rogue's trick!--Come here, sirrah, who the devil are you?
ABSOLUTE
Faith, sir, I am not quite clear myself; but I'll endeavour to
recollect.
Sir ANTHONY
Are you my son or not?--answer for your mother, you dog, if you won't
for me.
Mrs. MALAPROP
Ay, sir, who are you? O mercy! I begin to suspect!----
ABSOLUTE
[Aside.] Ye powers of impudence, befriend me!--[Aloud.] Sir Anthony,
most assuredly I am your wife's son: and that I sincerely believe
myself to be yours also, I hope my duty has always shown.--Mrs.
Malaprop, I am your most respectful admirer, and shall be proud to add
affectionate nephew.--I need not tell my Lydia, that she sees her
faithful Beverley, who, knowing the singular generosity of her temper,
assumed that name and station, which has proved a test of the most
disinterested love, which he now hopes to enjoy in a more elevated
character.
LYDIA
[Sullenly.] So!--there will be no elopement after all!
Sir ANTHONY
Upon my soul, Jack, thou art a very impudent fellow! to do you justice,
I think I never saw a piece of more consummate assurance!
ABSOLUTE
Oh, you flatter me, sir--you compliment--'tis my modesty, you know,
sir,--my modesty that has stood in my way.
Sir ANTHONY
Well, I am glad you are not the dull, insensible varlet you pretended
to be, however!--I'm glad you have made a fool of your father, you
dog--I am. So this was your _penitence_, your _duty_ and
_obedience!_--I thought it was damned sudden!--_You never heard their
names before_, not you!--_what, the Languishes of Worcestershire_,
hey?--_if you could please me in the affair it was all you
desired!_--Ah! you dissembling villain!--What!--[Pointing to Lydia]
_She squints, don't she?--a little red-haired girl!_--hey?--Why, you
hypocritical young rascal!--I wonder you ain't ashamed to hold up your
head!
ABSOLUTE
'Tis with difficulty, sir.--I am confused--very much confused, as you
must perceive.
Mrs. MALAPROP
O Lud! Sir Anthony!--a new light breaks in upon me!--hey!--how! what!
captain, did you write the letters then?--What--am I to thank you for