text
stringlengths
0
1.91k
the elegant compilation of _an old weather-beaten she-dragon_--hey!--O
mercy!--was it you that reflected on my parts of speech?
ABSOLUTE
Dear sir! my modesty will be overpowered at last, if you don't assist
me--I shall certainly not be able to stand it!
Sir ANTHONY
Come, come, Mrs. Malaprop, we must forget and forgive;--odds life!
matters have taken so clever a turn all of a sudden, that I could find
in my heart to be so good-humoured! and so gallant! hey! Mrs. Malaprop!
Mrs. MALAPROP
Well, Sir Anthony, since you desire it, we will not anticipate the
past!--so mind, young people--our retrospection will be all to the
future.
Sir ANTHONY
Come, we must leave them together; Mrs. Malaprop, they long to fly into
each other's arms, I warrant!--Jack--isn't the cheek as I said, hey?--
and the eye, you rogue!--and the lip--hey? Come, Mrs. Malaprop, we'll
not disturb their tenderness--theirs is the time of life for
happiness!--_Youth's the season made for joy_--[Sings.]--hey!--Odds
life! I'm in such spirits,--I don't know what I could not do!--Permit
me, ma'am--[Gives his hand to Mrs. MALAPROP.] Tol-de-rol--'gad, I
should like to have a little fooling myself--Tol-de-rol! de-rol.
[Exit, singing and handing Mrs. MALAPROP.--LYDIA sits sullenly in her
chair.]
ABSOLUTE
[Aside.] So much thought bodes me no good.--[Aloud.] So grave, Lydia!
LYDIA
Sir!
ABSOLUTE
[Aside.] So!--egad! I thought as much!--that damned monosyllable has
froze me!--[Aloud.] What, Lydia, now that we are as happy in our
friends' consent, as in our mutual vows----
LYDIA
[Peevishly.] Friends' consent indeed!
ABSOLUTE
Come, come, we must lay aside some of our romance--a little wealth and
comfort may be endured after all. And for your fortune, the lawyers
shall make such settlements as----
LYDIA
Lawyers! I hate lawyers!
ABSOLUTE
Nay, then, we will not wait for their lingering forms, but instantly
procure the licence, and----
LYDIA
The licence!--I hate licence!
ABSOLUTE
Oh my love! be not so unkind!--thus let me entreat---- [Kneeling.]
LYDIA
Psha!--what signifies kneeling, when you know I must have you?
ABSOLUTE
[Rising.] Nay, madam, there shall be no constraint upon your
inclinations, I promise you.--If I have lost your heart--I resign the
rest--[Aside.] 'Gad, I must try what a little spirit will do.
LYDIA
[Rising.] Then, sir, let me tell you, the interest you had there was
acquired by a mean, unmanly imposition, and deserves the punishment of
fraud.--What, you have been treating me like a child!--humouring my
romance! and laughing, I suppose, at your success!
ABSOLUTE
You wrong me, Lydia, you wrong me--only hear----
LYDIA
So, while I fondly imagined we were deceiving my relations, and
flattered myself that I should outwit and incense them all--behold my
hopes are to be crushed at once, by my aunt's consent and
approbation--and I am myself the only dupe at last!--[Walking about in
a heat.] But here, sir, here is the picture--Beverley's picture!
[taking a miniature from her bosom] which I have worn, night and day,
in spite of threats and entreaties!--There, sir [Flings it to him.];
and be assured I throw the original from my heart as easily.
ABSOLUTE
Nay, nay, ma'am, we will not differ as to that.--Here [taking out a
picture], here is Miss Lydia Languish.--What a difference!--ay, there
is the heavenly assenting smile that first gave soul and spirit to my
hopes!--those are the lips which sealed a vow, as yet scarce dry in
Cupid's calendar! and there the half-resentful blush, that would have
checked the ardour of my thanks!--Well, all that's past!--all over
indeed!--There, madam--in beauty, that copy is not equal to you, but in
my mind its merit over the original, in being still the same, is
such--that--I cannot find in my heart to part with it. [Puts it up
again.]