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Sir Anthony and Captain Absolute are below, ma'am.
Mrs. MALAPROP
Show them up here.----
[Exit SERVANT.]
Now, Lydia, I insist on your behaving as becomes a young woman. Show
your good breeding, at least, though you have forgot your duty.
LYDIA
Madam, I have told you my resolution!--I shall not only give him no
encouragement, but I won't even speak to, or look at him. [Flings
herself into a chair, with her face from the door.]
[Enter Sir ANTHONY ABSOLUTE and CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.]
Sir ANTHONY
Here we are, Mrs. Malaprop; come to mitigate the frowns of unrelenting
beauty,--and difficulty enough I had to bring this fellow.--I don't
know what's the matter; but if I had not held him by force, he'd have
given me the slip.
Mrs. MALAPROP
You have infinite trouble, Sir Anthony, in the affair. I am ashamed for
the cause!--[Aside to LYDIA.] Lydia, Lydia, rise, I beseech you!--pay
your respects!
Sir ANTHONY
I hope, madam, that Miss Languish has reflected on the worth of this
gentleman, and the regard due to her aunt's choice, and my
alliance.--[Aside to CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.] Now, Jack, speak to her.
ABSOLUTE
[Aside.] What the devil shall I do!--[Aside to Sir ANTHONY.] You see,
sir, she won't even look at me whilst you are here. I knew she
wouldn't! I told you so. Let me entreat you, sir, to leave us together!
[Seems to expostulate with his father.]
LYDIA
[Aside.] I wonder I ha'n't heard my aunt exclaim yet! sure she can't
have looked at him!--perhaps the regimentals are alike, and she is
something blind.
Sir ANTHONY
I say, sir, I won't stir a foot yet!
Mrs. MALAPROP
I am sorry to say, Sir Anthony, that my affluence over my niece is very
small.--[Aside to LYDIA.] Turn round, Lydia: I blush for you!
Sir ANTHONY
May I not flatter myself, that Miss Languish will assign what cause of
dislike she can have to my son!--[Aside to CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.] Why don't
you begin, Jack?--Speak, you puppy--speak!
Mrs. MALAPROP
It is impossible, Sir Anthony, she can have any. She will not say she
has.--[Aside to LYDIA.] Answer, hussy! why don't you answer?
Sir ANTHONY
Then, madam, I trust that a childish and hasty predilection will be no
bar to Jack's happiness.--[Aside to CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.] Zounds! sirrah!
why don't you speak?
LYDIA
[Aside.] I think my lover seems as little inclined to conversation as
myself.--How strangely blind my aunt must be!
ABSOLUTE
Hem! hem! madam--hem!--[Attempts to speak, then returns to Sir
ANTHONY.] Faith! sir, I am so confounded!--and--so--so--confused!--I
told you I should be so, sir--I knew it.--The--the--tremor of my
passion entirely takes away my presence of mind.
Sir ANTHONY
But it don't take away your voice, fool, does it?--Go up, and speak to
her directly!
[CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE makes signs to Mrs. MALAPROP to leave them together.]
Mrs. MALAPROP
Sir Anthony, shall we leave them together?--[Aside to LYDIA.] Ah! you
stubborn little vixen!
Sir ANTHONY
Not yet, ma'am, not yet!--[Aside to CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.] What the devil
are you at? unlock your jaws, sirrah, or----
ABSOLUTE
[Aside.] Now Heaven send she may be too sullen to look round!--I must
disguise my voice.--[Draws near LYDIA, and speaks in a low hoarse
tone.] Will not Miss Languish lend an ear to the mild accents of true
love? Will not----
Sir ANTHONY
What the devil ails the fellow? why don't you speak out?--not stand
croaking like a frog in a quinsy!
ABSOLUTE