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I suppose, Mr. Acres, you never were engaged in an affair of this kind
before?
ACRES
No, Sir Lucius, never before.
Sir LUCIUS
Ah! that's a pity!--there's nothing like being used to a thing.--Pray
now, how would you receive the gentleman's shot?
ACRES
Odds files!--I've practised that--there, Sir Lucius--there. [Puts
himself in an attitude.] A side-front, hey? Odd! I'll make myself small
enough: I'll stand edgeways.
Sir LUCIUS
Now--you're quite out--for if you stand so when I take my aim----
[Levelling at him.]
ACRES
Zounds! Sir Lucius--are you sure it is not cocked?
Sir LUCIUS
Never fear.
ACRES
But--but--you don't know--it may go off of its own head!
Sir LUCIUS
Pho! be easy.--Well, now if I hit you in the body, my bullet has a
double chance--for if it misses a vital part of your right side, 'twill
be very hard if it don't succeed on the left!
ACRES
A vital part!
Sir LUCIUS
But, there--fix yourself so--[Placing him]--let him see the broad-side
of your full front--there--now a ball or two may pass clean through
your body, and never do any harm at all.
ACRES
Clean through me!--a ball or two clean through me!
Sir LUCIUS
Ay--may they--and it is much the genteelest attitude into the bargain.
ACRES
Look'ee! Sir Lucius--I'd just as lieve be shot in an awkward posture as
a genteel one; so, by my valour! I will stand edgeways.
Sir LUCIUS
[Looking at his watch.] Sure they don't mean to disappoint
us--Hah!--no, faith--I think I see them coming.
ACRES
Hey!--what!--coming!----
Sir LUCIUS
Ay.--Who are those yonder getting over the stile?
ACRES
There are two of them indeed!--well--let them come--hey, Sir
Lucius!--we--we--we--we--won't run.
Sir LUCIUS
Run!
ACRES
No--I say--we won't run, by my valour!
Sir LUCIUS
What the devil's the matter with you?
ACRES
Nothing--nothing--my dear friend--my dear Sir Lucius--but I--I--I don't
feel quite so bold, somehow, as I did.
Sir LUCIUS
O fy!--consider your honour.
ACRES
Ay--true--my honour. Do, Sir Lucius, edge in a word or two every now
and then about my honour.
Sir LUCIUS
[Looking.] Well, here they're coming.
ACRES
Sir Lucius--if I wa'n't with you, I should almost think I was
afraid.--If my valour should leave me!--Valour will come and go.
Sir LUCIUS
Then pray keep it fast, while you have it.
ACRES
Sir Lucius--I doubt it is going--yes--my valour is certainly going!--it
is sneaking off!--I feel it oozing out as it were at the palms of my
hands!