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Look'ee, Sir Lucius, 'tisn't that I mind the word coward--coward may be
said in joke--But if you had called me a poltroon, odds daggers and
balls----
Sir LUCIUS
Well, sir?
ACRES
I should have thought you a very ill-bred man.
Sir LUCIUS
Pho! you are beneath my notice.
ABSOLUTE
Nay, Sir Lucius, you can't have a better second than my friend
Acres--He is a most determined dog--called in the country, Fighting
Bob.--He generally kills a man a week--don't you Bob?
ACRES
Ay--at home!
Sir LUCIUS
Well, then, captain, 'tis we must begin--so come out, my little
counsellor--[Draws his sword]--and ask the gentleman, whether he will
resign the lady, without forcing you to proceed against him?
ABSOLUTE
Come on then, sir--[Draws]; since you won't let it be an amicable suit,
here's my reply.
[Enter Sir ANTHONY ABSOLUTE, DAVID, Mrs. MALAPROP, LYDIA, and JULIA.]
DAVID
Knock 'em all down, sweet Sir Anthony; knock down my master in
particular; and bind his hands over to their good behaviour!
Sir ANTHONY
Put up, Jack, put up, or I shall be in a frenzy--how came you in a
duel, sir?
ABSOLUTE
Faith, sir, that gentleman can tell you better than I; 'twas he called
on me, and you know, sir, I serve his majesty.
Sir ANTHONY
Here's a pretty fellow; I catch him going to cut a man's throat, and he
tells me, he serves his majesty!--Zounds! sirrah, then how durst you
draw the king's sword against one of his subjects?
ABSOLUTE
Sir! I tell you, that gentleman called me out, without explaining his
reasons.
Sir ANTHONY
Gad! sir, how came you to call my son out, without explaining your
reasons!
Sir LUCIUS
Your son, sir, insulted me in a manner which my honour could not brook.
Sir ANTHONY
Zounds! Jack, how durst you insult the gentleman in a manner which his
honour could not brook?
Mrs. MALAPROP
Come, come, let's have no honour before ladies--Captain Absolute, come
here--How could you intimidate us so?--Here's Lydia has been terrified
to death for you.
ABSOLUTE
For fear I should be killed, or escape, ma'am?
Mrs. MALAPROP
Nay, no delusions to the past--Lydia is convinced; speak, child.
Sir LUCIUS
With your leave, ma'am, I must put in a word here: I believe I could
interpret the young lady's silence. Now mark----
LYDIA
What is it you mean, sir?
Sir LUCIUS
Come, come, Delia, we must be serious now--this is no time for
trifling.
LYDIA
'Tis true, sir; and your reproof bids me offer this gentleman my hand,
and solicit the return of his affections.
ABSOLUTE
O! my little angel, say you so?--Sir Lucius--I perceive there must be
some mistake here, with regard to the affront which you affirm I have
given you. I can only say, that it could not have been intentional. And
as you must be convinced, that I should not fear to support a real
injury--you shall now see that I am not ashamed to atone for an
inadvertency--I ask your pardon.--But for this lady, while honoured
with her approbation, I will support my claim against any man whatever.
Sir ANTHONY