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you rely upon the mildness of my temper--you do, you dog! you play upon
the meekness of my disposition!--Yet take care--the patience of a saint
may be overcome at last!--but mark! I give you six hours and a half to
consider of this: if you then agree, without any condition, to do every
thing on earth that I choose, why--confound you! I may in time forgive
you.--If not, zounds! don't enter the same hemisphere with me! don't
dare to breathe the same air, or use the same light with me; but get an
atmosphere and a sun of your own! I'll strip you of your commission;
I'll lodge a five-and-threepence in the hands of trustees, and you
shall live on the interest.--I'll disown you, I'll disinherit you, I'll
unget you! and damn me! if ever I call you Jack again! [Exit.]
ABSOLUTE
Mild, gentle, considerate father--I kiss your hands!--What a tender
method of giving his opinion in these matters Sir Anthony has! I dare
not trust him with the truth.--I wonder what old wealthy hag it is that
he wants to bestow on me!--Yet he married himself for love! and was in
his youth a bold intriguer, and a gay companion!
[Re-enter FAG.]
FAG
Assuredly, sir, your father is wrath to a degree; he comes down stairs
eight or ten steps at a time--muttering, growling, and thumping the
banisters all the way: I and the cook's dog stand bowing at the
door--rap! he gives me a stroke on the head with his cane; bids me
carry that to my master; then kicking the poor turnspit into the area,
damns us all, for a puppy triumvirate!--Upon my credit, sir, were I in
your place, and found my father such very bad company, I should
certainly drop his acquaintance.
ABSOLUTE
Cease your impertinence, sir, at present.--Did you come in for nothing
more?--Stand out of the way! [Pushes him aside, and exit.]
FAG
So! Sir Anthony trims my master; he is afraid to reply to his
father--then vents his spleen on poor Fag!--When one is vexed by one
person, to revenge one's self on another, who happens to come in the
way, is the vilest injustice! Ah! it shows the worst temper--the
basest----
[Enter BOY.]
BOY
Mr. Fag! Mr. Fag! your master calls you.
FAG
Well, you little dirty puppy, you need not bawl so!--The meanest
disposition! the----
BOY
Quick, quick, Mr. Fag!
FAG
Quick! quick! you impudent jackanapes! am I to be commanded by you too?
you little impertinent, insolent, kitchen-bred---- [Exit kicking and
beating him.]
[Enter LUCY.]
LUCY
So--I shall have another rival to add to my mistress's list--Captain
Absolute. However, I shall not enter his name till my purse has
received notice in form. Poor Acres is dismissed!--Well, I have done
him a last friendly office, in letting him know that Beverley was here
before him.--Sir Lucius is generally more punctual, when he expects to
hear from his _dear Delia_, as he calls her: I wonder he's not
here!--I have a little scruple of conscience from this deceit; though I
should not be paid so well, if my hero knew that Delia was near fifty,
and her own mistress.
[Enter Sir LUCIUS O'TRIGGER.]
Sir LUCIUS
Ha! my little ambassadress--upon my conscience, I have been looking for
you; I have been on the South Parade this half hour.
LUCY
[Speaking simply.] O gemini! and I have been waiting for your worship
here on the North.
Sir LUCIUS
Faith!--may be that was the reason we did not meet; and it is very
comical too, how you could go out and I not see you--for I was only
taking a nap at the Parade Coffee-house, and I chose the window on
purpose that I might not miss you.
LUCY
My stars! Now I'd wager a sixpence I went by while you were asleep.
Sir LUCIUS
Sure enough it must have been so--and I never dreamt it was so late,
till I waked. Well, but my little girl, have you got nothing for me?
LUCY
Yes, but I have--I've got a letter for you in my pocket.
Sir LUCIUS