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O faith! I guessed you weren't come empty-handed--Well--let me see what
the dear creature says.
LUCY
There, Sir Lucius. [Gives him a letter.]
Sir LUCIUS
[Reads.] _Sir--there is often a sudden incentive impulse in love, that
has a greater induction than years of domestic combination: such was
the commotion I felt at the first superfluous view of Sir Lucius
O'Trigger._--Very pretty, upon my word.--_Female punctuation forbids me
to say more, yet let me add, that it will give me joy infallible to
find Sir Lucius worthy the last criterion of my affections. Delia._
Upon my conscience! Lucy, your lady is a great mistress of language.
Faith, she's quite the queen of the dictionary!--for the devil a word
dare refuse coming at her call--though one would think it was quite out
of hearing.
LUCY
Ay, sir, a lady of her experience----
Sir LUCIUS
Experience! what, at seventeen?
LUCY
O true, sir--but then she reads so--my stars! how she will read off
hand!
Sir LUCIUS
Faith, she must be very deep read to write this way--though she is
rather an arbitrary writer too--for here are a great many poor words
pressed into the service of this note, that would get their _habeas
corpus_ from any court in Christendom.
LUCY
Ah! Sir Lucius, if you were to hear how she talks of you!
Sir LUCIUS
Oh, tell her I'll make her the best husband in the world, and Lady
O'Trigger into the bargain!--But we must get the old gentlewoman's
consent--and do every thing fairly.
LUCY
Nay, Sir Lucius, I thought you wa'n't rich enough to be so nice!
Sir LUCIUS
Upon my word, young woman, you have hit it:--I am so poor, that I can't
afford to do a dirty action.--If I did not want money, I'd steal your
mistress and her fortune with a great deal of pleasure.--However, my
pretty girl, [Gives her money] here's a little something to buy you a
ribbon; and meet me in the evening, and I'll give you an answer to
this. So, hussy, take a kiss beforehand to put you in mind. [Kisses
her.]
LUCY
O Lud! Sir Lucius--I never seed such a gemman! My lady won't like you
if you're so impudent.
Sir LUCIUS
Faith she will, Lucy!--That same--pho! what's the name of
it?--modesty--is a quality in a lover more praised by the women than
liked; so, if your mistress asks you whether Sir Lucius ever gave you a
kiss, tell her fifty--my dear.
LUCY
What, would you have me tell her a lie?
Sir LUCIUS
Ah, then, you baggage! I'll make it a truth presently.
LUCY
For shame now! here is some one coming.
Sir LUCIUS
Oh, faith, I'll quiet your conscience! [Exit, humming a tune.]
[Enter FAG.]
FAG
So, so, ma'am! I humbly beg pardon.
LUCY
O Lud! now, Mr. Fag--you flurry one so.
FAG
Come, come, Lucy, here's no one by--so a little less simplicity, with a
grain or two more sincerity, if you please.--You play false with us,
madam.--I saw you give the baronet a letter.--My master shall know
this--and if he don't call him out, I will.
LUCY
Ha! ha! ha! you gentlemen's gentlemen are so hasty.--That letter was
from Mrs. Malaprop, simpleton.--She is taken with Sir Lucius's address.
FAG
How! what tastes some people have!--Why, I suppose I have walked by her
window a hundred times.--But what says our young lady? any message to
my master?
LUCY