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Sad news. Mr. Fag.--A worse rival than Acres! Sir Anthony Absolute has
proposed his son.
FAG
What, Captain Absolute?
LUCY
Even so--I overheard it all.
FAG
Ha! ha! ha! very good, faith. Good-bye, Lucy, I must away with this
news.
LUCY
Well, you may laugh--but it is true, I assure you.--[Going.] But, Mr.
Fag, tell your master not to be cast down by this.
FAG
Oh, he'll be so disconsolate!
LUCY
And charge him not to think of quarrelling with young Absolute.
FAG
Never fear! never fear!
LUCY
Be sure--bid him keep up his spirits.
FAG
We will--we will.
[Exeunt severally.]
[Enter CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.]
ABSOLUTE
'Tis just as Fag told me, indeed. Whimsical enough, faith! My father
wants to force me to marry the very girl I am plotting to run away
with! He must not know of my connection with her yet awhile. He has too
summary a method of proceeding in these matters. However, I'll read my
recantation instantly. My conversion is something sudden, indeed--but I
can assure him it is very sincere. So, so--here he comes. He looks
plaguy gruff. [Steps aside.]
[Enter Sir ANTHONY ABSOLUTE.]
Sir ANTHONY
No--I'll die sooner than forgive him. Die, did I say? I'll live these
fifty years to plague him. At our last meeting, his impudence had
almost put me out of temper. An obstinate, passionate, self-willed boy!
Who can he take after? This is my return for getting him before all his
brothers and sisters!--for putting him, at twelve years old, into a
marching regiment, and allowing him fifty pounds a year, besides his
pay, ever since! But I have done with him; he's anybody's son for me. I
never will see him more, never--never--never.
ABSOLUTE
[Aside, coming forward.] Now for a penitential face.
Sir ANTHONY
Fellow, get out of my way!
ABSOLUTE
Sir, you see a penitent before you.
Sir ANTHONY
I see an impudent scoundrel before me.
ABSOLUTE
A sincere penitent. I am come, sir, to acknowledge my error, and to
submit entirely to your will.
Sir ANTHONY
What's that?
ABSOLUTE
I have been revolving, and reflecting, and considering on your past
goodness, and kindness, and condescension to me.
Sir ANTHONY
Well, sir?
ABSOLUTE
I have been likewise weighing and balancing what you were pleased to
mention concerning duty, and obedience, and authority.
Sir ANTHONY
Well, puppy?
ABSOLUTE
Why then, sir, the result of my reflections is--a resolution to
sacrifice every inclination of my own to your satisfaction.
Sir ANTHONY
Why now you talk sense--absolute sense--I never heard anything more
sensible in my life. Confound you! you shall be Jack again.
ABSOLUTE