id
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|---|---|---|
7,900 |
For your convenience, here is a broken link you can't click: \n\n http://i.imgur.com/SjXdamf.pdf\n\n
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|
7,901 |
Rage against the machine - killing in the name ~~of~~\n\n"Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!"
|
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|
7,902 |
I don't understand how it happens. If rape happens in prison, it should be provable. If it's not, the prison is negligent at best and criminal in failing to prevent it otherwise. If it is provable, it's cruel and unusual punishment and it should not be hard to be released as a prisoner.
|
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|
7,903 |
I thought you said it'd be a **fun** fact?
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|
7,904 |
I had a teacher like that, he made me call him daddy.
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|
7,905 |
don't spend time with anyone when you're horny.
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|
7,906 |
Or maybe give 'em like four stars instead of five.\n\nEDIT: Thanks for the gold!
|
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|
7,907 |
> Where hast the time gone?\n\nftfy\n\nEDIT: Wow, a lot of you guys sure know old-timey english. Considereth me puttetheth in my placethethethetheth.\n\nEDIT 2: FUCKETH MY INBOX
|
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|
7,908 |
Thank you. In return for your explanation, I give you your t-shirt location:\n\n[http://www.redbubble.com/people/spookygriff/works/11622429-icons-of-an-icon?grid_pos=13&p=t-shirt](http://www.redbubble.com/people/spookygriff/works/11622429-icons-of-an-icon?grid_pos=13&p=t-shirt)
|
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|
7,909 |
It took me six hours to write that rap.
|
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|
7,910 |
he's like some sort of tampon superhero.
|
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|
7,911 |
I hope she came out to see you scrubbing the carpet, and just decided she didn't want to know and walked past.
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|
7,912 |
Sometimes it's our hearts that he's blasting.
|
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|
7,913 |
Please be my wife's throwaway...
|
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|
7,914 |
They're not really obituaries either though. The Times calls them "Portraits" which I think is more fitting
|
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|
7,915 |
But . . . robot arms. . .
|
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|
7,916 |
That's how most of my passwords are.
|
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|
7,917 |
Also: if you repeat "Am I being detained?" in a loud, panicky, hostile voice, the police will stop arresting you to make sure you're alright before sending you on your way.
|
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|
7,918 |
That's ballsy ordering non well done meat from a chain like that.
|
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|
7,919 |
**THIS JUST IN MASSIVE PILOT CULT CONSPIRACY UNVEILED ON REDDIT!**\n\n**THE SECRET YOUR PILOT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW**\n\n**THE PEOPLE WHO FLY YOUR CHILDREN S PLANES ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL THEM**\n\n
|
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|
7,920 |
Gone with the Wind was also in theaters for four years straight.
|
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|
7,921 |
No, god no, what the shit?!
|
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|
7,922 |
I actually went in with pain in my chest (pretty obvious broken rib), told them it was absolutely not cardiac when checking in, and they still pulled me back immediately and I had to argue I didn't need an EKG. They take that stuff seriously!
|
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|
7,923 |
I see you haven't forgotten your Computer Science roots (trunk?). Hopefully you are still thread safe.
|
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|
7,924 |
It means they start interacting with physical matter, which heats up the earth's core but doesn't warm the oceans or cause people to explode like popcorn kernels in a microwave. Because.\n\n(Edit: People who think I'm positing that this can happen: I'm not. I didn't write that crappy movie, I'm just mocking it. And those who haven't seen *2012*, good for you. Keep it that way. I torrented it and still wanted my money back.)
|
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|
7,925 |
Damn, the rules to A.A. are easier then this.
|
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|
7,926 |
Grab something off the top shelf for a short person once, they get their thing once. Teach a short person to tall, they get their things forever.
|
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|
7,927 |
When I walk in the mosque \n\nThis is what I see\n\nFour Muslim women and they're staring at me\n\nI've got a qur'an in my hand \n\nAnd I ain't afraid to show it\n\n(show it, show it, show it)\n\nI'm Saudi and I know it.
|
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|
7,928 |
Totally agree. I would stare at her tits only, avoiding her gaze altogether. If she called me on it I'd say "honey, every woman in this room has eyes, but none of them have tits like these."
|
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|
7,929 |
He also had a two page resume with refrences. Very professional.
|
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|
7,930 |
So I guess you can say it was a pull-out couch ;)
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|
7,931 |
That's how long it takes for the letter "n" to dissolve.
|
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|
7,932 |
I'm so Buddhist I know this comment is actually about everyone.
|
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|
7,933 |
Someone sounds just a tad bit jelly.
|
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|
7,934 |
That escalated quickly...
|
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|
7,935 |
Well, you might be a *little* gay.
|
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|
7,936 |
>He waved back. \n \nI like this guy.
|
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|
7,937 |
> You paid us to permanently mark your body and we seriously fucked it up? **WHO CARES LOL**
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|
7,938 |
I mean, you should probably clear that with your wife first, but that sounds like a great prank.
|
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|
7,939 |
for those who still can't see it: http://www.clockworkthree.com/hosted/dearjohn.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Glasses.jpg
|
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|
7,940 |
I was not expecting cited sources in this thread. I'm impressed.
|
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|
7,941 |
No kidding. I just coil it around my leg. The only problem is I piss with the force of a thousand stallions and it occasionally unwraps so fast from the blast that I end up twirling off the toilet like a helicopter, shit-stream giving me thrust like an uncorked bottle of champagne. I have high ceilings though so whatever.
|
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|
7,942 |
Desert Eagle one : http://imgur.com/V6jSjyQ
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|
7,943 |
Hey, sounds like a reasonable response to me.
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|
7,944 |
I felt awkward just reading that.
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|
7,945 |
You look a LOT happier with the giant cock than you do in the boob room...
|
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|
7,946 |
Let's find out\n\nA one\n\nA two hoo \n\nA three *crunch*\n\n
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|
7,947 |
The medal is the ring around his finger.
|
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|
7,948 |
I think this is one of the best ways possible to open a fight.
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|
7,949 |
"We've lost things too...like our owl statue"
|
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|
7,950 |
I can't wait for the moment when your child will ask about brothers and sisters.\n\n"You almost had a brother once. It was a fart though."
|
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|
7,951 |
Sadly, no. It mostly just plays in the background while I'm doing other things. Occasionally I'll look up from reading a book and go, "Oh, there's Jennifer Aniston's nipples. Neat."
|
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|
7,952 |
I've heard corduroy pillows are making headlines.
|
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|
7,953 |
If I were you I would call the frog "International House of Pancakes" and watch people's reactions.
|
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|
7,954 |
He's got a PowerPoint
|
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|
7,955 |
"Day 21: my colleagues and peers no longer stare oddly at my rivets and seams. I believe I have acheived assimilation."
|
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|
7,956 |
It's fucking delicious is what it is.
|
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|
7,957 |
Yeah I always buy two of everything in case I want to fuck one. Who doesn't?
|
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|
7,958 |
Maybe they'll use Google+.
|
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|
7,959 |
better than adam savage did at the beginning.
|
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|
7,960 |
Payday 2 lets you play DLC heists if the host has it and you don't.
|
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|
7,961 |
Can confirm, am boyfriend
|
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|
7,962 |
obvious troll is....entertaining?
|
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|
7,963 |
"GRONK NOT KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG"
|
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|
7,964 |
really. literally every part of it added to the story caused my jaw to drop a little further.
|
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|
7,965 |
Because he was trying to use a device with the same power as current gen consoles.\n\n*Hey-ooo*! Ok, I'll see myself our now...
|
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|
7,966 |
Huwhaaijalivdakisupahdatable!? Eereoogoreatanadafable!
|
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|
7,967 |
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?\n\nAIDS.
|
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|
7,968 |
On Conan's first day a pigeon flew threw a window and died in his office. I tried to convince him that somehow that was good luck.
|
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|
7,969 |
That's horrible. You genius.
|
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|
7,970 |
*tips too far and rolls over sideways*
|
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|
7,971 |
The new motto of reddit: "Don't have buttsex when you need to poop."
|
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|
7,972 |
Suddenly, testicular cancer :(
|
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|
7,973 |
That's a good idea. I just might do that, thank you!
|
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|
7,974 |
They went silent because they didnt know that you and their daughter shared their scat fetish.
|
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|
7,975 |
Hey baby. I'm 3 standard deviations from the mean count of thrusts per copulation. How 'bout we go back to my place and increase the sample size?
|
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|
7,976 |
This needs to get upvoted to the top....if Obama is going to bat for the LGBT community then everyone in favor of gay marriage needs to go to bat for Obama.
|
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|
7,977 |
If they're slightly tubby and in the same position you could also grab their belly and pretend to be driving a car. Never fails to ruin the moment.
|
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|
7,978 |
What's not to like? The skin is chewy and bitter like a plastic bag while the inside is flavorless and has the consistency of snot
|
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|
7,979 |
Frostbutt. Only important word I heard.
|
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|
7,980 |
Yo we liked beanie babies, my sissy had fitty,\n \nYa gotta have somethin' when yo face ain't pretty\n \nShe had Dobie the Doberman, and Bixby the bear\n \nThey ain't worth a pickle now, so buyer beware.\n \nPEACE
|
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|
7,981 |
Plot twist: They're all guys.
|
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|
7,982 |
Simpsons did it.\n\n>Homer: Now Marge, if the unthinkable should happen, you're going to be lonely. \n\n>Marge: Oh Homer, I could never remarry. \n \n>Homer: Darn right. And to make sure, I want to be stuffed and put on\n the couch as a constant reminder of our marital oath.\n\n["Homer's Triple Bypass", 1992](http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F09.html)
|
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|
7,983 |
You can't fuck her brains *in*.
|
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|
7,984 |
**B**ox\n\n**O**f\n\n**M**y\n\n**B**ooks
|
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|
7,985 |
"Which car company do you work for?"\n\nEdit: I am extremely stoked that my most upvoted comment is a Fight Club reference. Greatest movie of all time IMO.
|
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|
7,986 |
8 If you count the toupée
|
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|
7,987 |
Good call on the divorce there. Married a real dummy, huh?\n\nedit: stop blowing up this post, please.
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|
7,988 |
Now you'll be prepared when you meet Kobe Bryant.
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|
7,989 |
for some reason I thought it was going to be a really frozen lake and a rocket launcher but video still somehow didn't disappoint.
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|
7,990 |
Stopping at the end of the day.
|
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|
7,991 |
I got kicked out of summer camp for setting the admin building on fire. some people just do not know how to take a joke
|
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|
7,992 |
why look at that clean shaven homeless man
|
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|
7,993 |
His mother was heiress to the Vanderbilt fortune. He could have been openly Hitler and still would have been succesful.
|
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|
7,994 |
When I pitched the idea to my sister, she suggested I post to Reddit/Instagram since she doesn't use Twitter.
|
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|
7,995 |
Wow! that's hard. The first Odor blocker with the talking abs and the fake ending CHANGED THE GAME. But the newest one MUSCLE MUSIC is my FAVORITE! You can actually make music with my muscles! Changed the game yet again!\n\nhttp://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/yyxxt/i_am_terry_crews_ama/
|
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|
7,996 |
Listen to the breaths, they're like a tiny, almost inaudible treasure map.
|
{
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}
|
7,997 |
There's a deleted scene where the folks at Area 51 describe how our current computer technology was designed and based off the alien craft's computer technology that crash landed in the 50's, so apparently both parties are using the same OS.
|
{
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}
|
7,998 |
20 years later... Dragon Enterprises has become one of the world's leading conglomerates.
|
{
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}
|
7,999 |
Out of radioactive glassware.
|
{
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},
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"harassment/threatening": 0.00003884955367539078
},
"flagged": false
}
|
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